#system yet) and that was kinda it so she sent me home like four hours early cause it was super slow apperently so that was pretty cool of

[writerfae]

Hi! So I had an angsty idea. I am sorry!

We all know that baby Aiden used to be sick a lot. What would happen if a few months after Henry left, Aiden gets sick. Really sick... and he kinda doesn't get better (i am sorry)

Would Henry find out? How would he find out? What would he do once he did?

Also, I am sending this in the same ask, or else I will forget again: Can you tell us more about Aiden's dad? You seem to be really fond of him, but I also remember him hitting Henry(or at least that's how I remember interpreting Henry's character spotlight/intro).

Me sipping tea and eating biscuits with you in a fancy castle in a puffy dress:I need the details of the family drama!

Noooo this is so sad 😭 great angst idea though!

The saddest thing is that Henry probably wouldn’t even find out? I mean, he never dared to come back and he was quite literally a world (well, a realm) away

Though maybe he’d learn about it through Kara, Aiden’s crow, if I decide for the version where she’s actually sent by Henry to look after Aiden for him and give him updates (not sure yet if that’s canon tho)

If that would be the case, he’d drop everything to run to Aiden. He’d bring a ton of healer too, to try and help him. Or he’d just be there for him. All fears and regrets be damned, if Aiden would let him, he wouldn’t leave his side till he gets better or doesn’t

(You know, Aiden getting sick like that would be pretty possible, he had quite some people in his village that died of the flu or something similar. And with his weak immune system due to his early birth and minor heart problems he’s at a higher risk than others.)

It is true that I am very fond of Aiden’s father. I gladly tell you more about him! (Putting this under a cut cause it will be spoiler-y and probably VERY long)

Milan is eldest child of a pretty old and well adored family in their home village. They’re the village’s hunters, have been for generations.

Milan learned the craft from his father (who in turn had learned it from his own) and passed down the family’s generation old knowledge about hunting to both Henry and Aiden.

He is (or rather was) a very talented hunter, who liked his job and absolutely loved spending time in the woods.

But he loved spending time with people, too. Usually, he is an outgoing, friendly and warm-hearted person. The villagers adored him.

He was charming and funny and polite, and there were quite a lot people disappointed that he married an outsider instead of one of their daughters xD

Growing up he loved archery and fairytales and spending hours in the woods. He adored joking and fooling around.

You could say that he was a little bit childish, even as a grown man. But he could be serious and responsible too, having to take responsibility at a pretty young age.

You see, Milan has experienced many losses in his youth. His little brother died as a toddler. His grandmother passed away when Milan was still a child and both his parents died of the flu when he was sixteen.

All family he had left then was his younger sister, who he has a very good relationship too and who he took care of for nearly four years before she left the city to marry a merchant she fell in love with.

After that, he adopted a cat to fill the silence in his house.

At twenty he then received a great honor due to his archery skills and his honoring of the old ways: he was allowed to go to the faerie realm and join the wild hunt for their yearly great hunt.

At that festival he met Ranva and they fell in love. Like I said, he was very charming and nice and handsome so he caught her eye.

That’s how their story began and it soon led to Milan taking Ranva home with him and marrying her. And he was very happy about it.

He loved her very much, she was everything to him. He was a good husband to her. And he was (is) a good father.

I know it may not sound like it, given the fact that you are indeed right, he did hit Henry once. Which was really really bad and wrong, but you have to keep in mind that up until his wife’s death, he did everything for his boys. And he still loves them, he just can’t show it that much anymore.

You know by now that Henry is not Milan’s biological son. Milan knew that all along but he was like fuck that, I’m gonna love this kid to death anyway.

And he did. Really. For him, Henry was his son, as much as Aiden was.

He made him toys and taught him all kinds of things, he dried his tears and sang him songs and gifted him the fairytale book that he once got from his own father.

He was very happy when Aiden was born, but he never treated him any better just because he was his biological son.

Henry and Aiden had happy childhoods. They both love their father. Aiden grew up to look a lot like him, just that his hair wasn’t as curly and his features sharper.

And a lot of values both him and Henry have were shaped by Milan, because he has always been a good man.

Losing his beloved wife however, broke him. Like I said, he was no stranger to loss. (Only a year or so before Ranva died, his best friend Levin had passed away. And with him and Ranva dead, Milan had lost two people who he loved dearly.)

You see, Milan isn’t really himself anymore. Part of him died with Ranva, they were soulmates after all. He never got out of that grief, completely withdrawing himself.

There are days where he’s completely lost in his mind. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t speak.

He has mental breakdowns out of nowhere when suddenly reminded of Ranva. There are good, more clear days too, where he’s almost back to normal. But not quite.

To put it simple, his heart is broken and he lost himself when losing his wife. Sadly, it meant that he was lost to the boys, too, in a way.

Instead of him caring for them, like he would’ve done if he wouldn’t be prisoner to his own grief, they had (in Aiden’s case: have) to care for him.

To come back to him and Henry, the problem was that there’s been some sort of tension in their relationship since Ranva’s death… well, not really tension, but they had a hard time being around each other.

Because while Aiden looked like his father, Henry looked like his mother. And he reminded Milan of her like nothing else in that house full of memories and it made him miserable. And Henry hated to see his father like that. Sometimes, on bad days, they would argue.

What triggered Milan hitting Henry, which luckily was a one time thing btw (even though one time is one time too much already) was when Aiden broke their mother’s favorite cup and Henry said it was him.

Milan was furious when he found out (cause he kept holding on to everything that was Ranva - every day he sits in her armchair) and that’s when he lost control over himself. It’s his biggest regret.

I’m not gonna excuse his behavior in that situation and if you only know that about him I’d understand if people don’t really like him.

But he’s really not a bad person once you learn more about him. He’s what becomes of a good man when tragedy strikes one too many times.

What I really like too is his relationship to Aiden. I loved letting them interact with each other in chapter one, cause you can see how despite everything Milan loves Aiden a lot.

When Henry left, it was the first time Milan lost a person and it was his own fault and he knows that. And since everyone else he loved is gone too, he’s horrified of possibly losing Aiden as well, even if he can’t show it.

[trashcreatyre]

Aahaha

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”

[aries-writingblog]

Detonation

Summary: As an FBI agent, YN deals with bad guys all day long. So does Bucky as an Avenger. When their worlds collide, it’s never pretty. Especially not when they are the targets.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4620

Warnings: language, violence, bombs and explosions, bomb threats, hostage situation

AN: This was another request from @cherry-season and if you can’t tell by reading this I’ve been watching criminal minds again so I hope you guys like this one. GIF is not my own credit to original creator.

YN leaned back in the desk chair, spinning it halfway back and forth. Boring a hole into the scattered papers of the police department. She was exhausted. Their team had been after this same guy for a week now. A real piece of work: planting bombs in DC banks. Leaving cryptic messages with them. Fortunately, their bomb squad made it in time to dismantle the charge before it blew. But they were no closer to catching the guy than before.

“Shitty coffee?” A deep, masculine voice approached her side. Placing a coffee cup in front of her. YN smiled, gratefully accepting the beverage. She glanced up to the provider, one of her teammates, Alex Knowles. “Look like you could use it.”

“That a way of telling me I look worse than the coffee?” YN teased, chugging the lukewarm drink down. So accustomed to cheap, watery coffee, she barely even gagged at the bitter taste as it went down. “No leads?”

Alex shook his head, pulling up a chair and plopping beside her. He sighed, gazing out over the bustling police station. Watching the beat cops go in and out of the doors, suspects and victims all being questioned or held in the same room. A Mecca of activity unfolding before their eyes. Progress. Just not the progress they needed.

“Kinda hoping Bryant would bring something back in- he went to question a couple witnesses that were around the bank at the time the guy dropped the bomb off.” He reported, sitting forward to shuffle through the papers on the desk. “What’s all this?”

“Those are previous reports…” YN explained, brushing stray hair back from her face. “I thought he could’ve had a previous record… he built these bombs with some kind of knowledge- whether it be academic or street smarts, I’m not sure yet. Besides, not doing anything else.”

Alex nodded, letting the paper slip through his fingers and back to the desktop. He watched his teammate reorganize the stacks- the glittering diamond on her finger catching his eye. A devilish grin cracked his lips, whistling appreciatively.

“Barnes finally asked that question, did he?” He asked, putting his cup down and gesturing for her hand. YN rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile as she complied. Alex studied the rock more closely, examining the quality. “Got good taste for somebody as old as he is.”

“Oh shut up.” YN laughed, yanking her hand back.

She and Bucky met on a case. Their FBI team had been invited into a local investigation of suspicious activity. Turns out, the Avengers were also looking into it. Well, a team of four Avengers anyways. Bucky Barnes being one of them. He was smooth, a sweet talker. Managed to wriggle his way into her phone, later he would swing a date. Two years later, Bucky was down on a knee in her bedroom. Asking one of those life altering questions.

That had been three weeks ago. They barely had time to see each other after that night. She was pulled back into work, he was pulled halfway across the globe on a mission. He did call every night, checking in. Asking about her day. Making outrageous, silly promises about the wedding and their new home, their future. Making her smile, distracting her from her day. At the same time, allowing himself to dissociate from the mission he was on as well.

“I’m happy for you.” Alex’s tone turned sober, serious. YN glanced over to him. He leaned his elbows on his knees, smiling broadly. “You both deserve someone like the other… you deserve each other. I mean it in the best, possible way.”

“Thank you, Alex.” YN replied, reflecting her sincere gratitude as best she could. Alex was always in her corner. No matter what- he trusted her. In their world, that meant everything and more.

“Hey, LN- Knowles!” Ricky Bryant came rushing into their area, flushed and out of breath. “Listen, I think we might’ve found the bomber’s identity: Casey Griffin. ”

“What?” YN leaned forward, staring up at him. Her eyebrows furrowed, a faint pin struck the back of her head. “Griffin… Casey Griffin- that sounds familiar. Why is that familiar?”

Ricky opened his mouth, ready to spill all the information he had gathered about the man. A woman interrupted their circle, a panicked look in her eyes.

“Agent LN- there’s a call on line six for you. He claims to be responsible for the bombings and he’s demanding to speak with you.” She interjected, nodding to the desk phone. YN glanced from Ricky to Alex.

“Get Robbie on the phone- tell her we need to trace this call immediately.” She instructed, rolling to the desk to pick up the phone. She waited a moment, allowing Ricky to call Robbie, the fourth member of their team. Their tech analyst. “Ready?”

“Yeah- go ahead.”

YN took a deep, calming breath. Her fingers tightened around the phone anxiously. Swallowing back her creeping nerves, she pulled the phone off the receiver.

“Agent LN, may I ask who’s calling?” She began slowly, giving Robbie a chance to snag the call’s location. There was heavy breathing on the other end, as if he had been running.

“You know who’s calling, YN. Don’t play coy- it isn’t a good look on you.”

Recognition struck her like lightning as she heard his voice. He had been one of the hostages in the first emergency scene. YN had taken down his statement herself. She ground her teeth together, anger flooding her system. She had been played.

“You’ve got me there, Casey.” She chuckled, her free hand wiping down the thigh of her tactical pants. “This is the first time you’ve called- why are you just now contacting us?”

The sound Griffin made was far from a laugh- the dark, slow noise was bone chilling. Nauseating. She could feel it deep into her clothes, settling like frost against her skin. She bit her cheek, staving off the urge to shiver through the discomfort.

“I’ve decided I want to give you front row tickets to the show, of course.” He crowed, voice leaping in octaves. “Corner of West and Fifth. You have half an hour, unless you want all these lovely people to end up blood splatters and burn marks on the floors.” YN winced, clenching her jaw. “Oh, and YN? Come in alone.”

The telltale click and beep ended the call, leaving YN to stare blankly at the desk before her. Clenching the phone in her grasp so tightly the plastic creaked. Knuckles lightening. She swallowed, something was clutching her throat. Restricting her lung capacity. Her shaking fingers pressed the phone into the receiver. Pushing her chair back, she stumbled to her feet.

“YN- “

“I just need a minute, okay?” She snapped, snagging her jacket from the chair across from the desk. YN shoved past the incoming traffic of people, fumbling her way outside.

The city was full of noise; Blaring car horns, shouting, a low murmur of pedestrian conversations. Sirens. The thrum of the city’s heartbeat under her feet. Taking a left into the alleyway, YN dug through her pockets, fingers brushing against the carton of cigarettes and lighter.

Hands trembling, she put a stick between her lips. Blowing smoke as soon as she lit it. Tilting her head back against the weathered brick of the station. A shaky exhale following the wavering grey smoke. She clenched her jaw, bowing her head.

She knew it was a trap- Casey was asking to meet alone. But he was holding hostages in a bank loaded down with explosives. And who knew what he wanted, why only her? Why alone? And why was that name familiar? None it made sense- facts blurring together. Shrouding him from her senses.

A sudden buzz against her abdomen sent her reeling back into consciousness. Her cigarette was gone- flicking the filter to the ground. Pushing it into the cement with her boot. Her fingers scuttled through her pocket, retrieving her phone.

Bucky’s contact photo- one of him fast asleep with fridge magnets on his arm. She smiled- somehow Bucky always knew right when she needed him. Like he had a sensor on her emotions, giving him timely reports. Updating him constantly.

“Hey, Buck.” She greeted, begging her voice to not crack. It sounded normal. Or at least enough that she hoped Bucky didn’t question it. Tucking the phone between her shoulder and ear, she lit another cigarette. Blowing the stress away from the speaker.

“Hey, sugar,” She could hear his smile through the phone. That excited one he always got when he first saw her. Wide, showing off his teeth. Stretching his face so much she wondered if it hurt. “I’m just callin’ to tell you I’m home. And I know you’re busy but, I wanted to hear your voice again.”

YN laughed, falling into the regular rhythm with him. Allowing herself to feel the stress melt from her bones. Bucky always had that affect on her. Something she couldn’t quite understand. Why the man was such an addictive drug.

“Well, you’re in luck- I’m on a break right now.” She wanted nothing more than to sit and talk with him, listen to his baritone drawl. Lulling her into a state of comfort and security. But she knew she couldn’t- she had limited time. She had to make a decision. And soon.

“Are you smoking again?” Bucky asked. YN smiled, biting down on her lip. She made a noncommittal noise, neither agreeing or disagreeing with his statement. He had been after her for their entire relationship to make her quit the habit. Trying to help her kick it. Nothing ever really helped. “YN…”

“I know… I’ve only had two. I just… I needed a break.” She admitted, bowing her head. She shifted her eyes to the alleyway opening, seeing Alex and Ricky approaching her. “I’ve got to get back. I’ll see you at home?”

“Yes, I’m making that soup you like for dinner. Don’t let it go cold.” He warned.

“I won’t. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She shoved her phone into her back pocket, meeting her partner’s halfway. Their faces drawn with concern and hesitancy.

“Gear me up.” She pushed between them, not looking back. She feared if she looked at them again, she would lose her nerve. Holding her shoulders back, chin tilted with her head held high. She had to keep the air of confidence around her. If she didn’t- they would never believe her. YN needed full backup for her plan. “I’m going in.”

~~~~~~

The building seemed to loom over her, taunting her as she stood before it. The large windows were gaping at her, a threat to her minuscule presence. YN swallowed back the terror she felt, pushing it down and locking it away. Out of reach.

“We’ll be talking with you through the comms unit the whole time.” Ricky explained, securing the equipment over her ear. He carefully tightened the straps on her vest, glancing to meet her eyes. His brows dipped. “You don’t have to do this you know? We can raid the building or get a sniper down here. This isn’t the only option.”

YN shook her head, clipping her holster over her belt, around her waist. She sighed, the exhale was shaky. Biting down on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling, she clipped extra ammunition to the side.

“It’s the one where everyone makes it out. Those hostages are the main priority right now.”

“Hey.” Ricky stopped her nervous movement, hands on both of her shoulders. Forcing her to look up at his face. “Don’t do that. Don’t make it seem like some small bust… this is serious. We’re worried about you. About this. It’s dangerous. Give a little of that focus to yourself.”

“Okay.” YN agreed. She inhaled again, this time a little more steady. Giving a final affirmative nod, she squared her shoulders and backed away. She turned, facing the group of DC police officers and FBI squads. “Alright, these comms go both ways. I’m negotiating for hostages first. If anything goes wrong, clear the site. We don’t know how many explosives he has in there.”

YN watched the groups follow her orders, setting up to accept hostages. Loading guns for a raid if needed. Both ambulance and fire department had been called in. The companies were also preemptively preparing for the worst. She began walking toward the bank, eyes forward. What felt like thousands of eyes followed her to the door, fire burning against her back.

As she approached, she could see a woman standing at the glass door. She had been crying- her face stained with tears. YN stopped at the glass door, standing face to face with the woman. After several moments of staring, the order was finally given to open the door. The woman’s shaking fingers unlocked it, pushing it open.

“You’ve served your purpose.” A quiet voice spoke across the lobby, echoing on the tiled floors. “You may go.” The woman burst into tears, shoving past YN and onto the street. “Agent LN… how courteous of you to take her place.”

YN entered the lobby tentatively, keeping her head on a swivel. She turned the corner, coming face to face with the bomber. Casey Griffin stood behind the group of hostages, hands tucked behind his back. A twisted, sacrilegious grin on his lips. The group at his feet were huddled together, most were sobbing quietly. Holding people they most likely didn’t know. She knew from experience that tense situations erased all lines between humans. Everything begins to blur when terrified panic sets in.

“I’m here, Griffin. What do you want?” She demanded, her hand resting on her weapon. There was a buzz of static in her ear, the line opening.

“We don’t have a visual of you anymore, LN. Get back into sight.”

Griffin took a step forward, around his subjects. A small, black remote in his hand. Eyes steady on her face. Studying her. He exhaled sharply, coming to a stop right before her.

“I was hoping you’d be more… well, more.” He frowned, disappointed. YN’s eyebrow lifted, unable to follow his thoughts. “Such a shame… I’ve read all these great things about you. Every case you’ve solved, every step you’ve made to get here. You’re much more impressive on paper.”

“Get to the point.” YN sneered, her jaw clenched. Griffin smirked, eyes scanning down her face again. He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“All you feds- no taste for the theatrical. I much rather prefer the Avengers.” He grinned, eyes sparkling dangerously. YN felt her heartbeat pick up It’s pace. Heart threatening to burst out of her chest. “Oh, that’s right… congratulations, by the way. What’s it like- being engaged to a fossil? Are his brains still scrambled?”

“Shut up.” She hissed, fingers itching to reach out and wrap around his throat. He only tilted his head, pouting. He began pacing, orbiting around her slowly. Her shoulders tensed, defenses began raising even further. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you see, I’m very well acquainted with Sergeant Barnes.” Griffin slowed to a stop again, on her right. He leaned in, close enough she could feel his breath against her skin. “He murdered my husband.”

The pounding in her chest seemed to have leapt into her throat. Breathing was much harder now, her skin crawled as her brain went into overdrive. Something was wrong… what was going on?

“He doesn’t do that anymore.” YN admitted, her voice lower than she thought it would be. Threatening to crack.

“But he does.” He hissed, gripping her arm tightly. Yanking her to his chest. His free hand came up to her ear, ripping the unit out and flinging it into the wall. His fingers fluttered down to her chin, grasping it tightly and forcing her face to his. He stared down at her. Anger burning in his irises, the dark circles under his eyes. His nostrils flared. “What makes it even worse is that he chose to do it. With Hydra, he had no choice. But with the Avengers? He had every decision laid out before him and he chose.”

YN flinched, flecks of saliva landing on her cheek. Her jaw clenched down tighter, eyes closing momentarily. Griffin’s hand crept down from her face, into the pocket of her pants. His fingers grasped the device, pulling it out. He held the device to her face, unlocking it then shoving her away.

“So now,” Griffin gave her a maniacal grin. YN was beginning to get whiplash from his mood swings. He was unpredictable. Unstable. Devolving before her eyes. She glanced back to the group of hostages. “He gets to flex that autonomy again. Oh, how lovely- he was your last call.”

“Why do you have me here, Griffin?” YN demanded, attempting to take control of the situation. If he was distracted, she could maneuver and gain the upper hand. “If you wanted to go after Bucky you would’ve done it. Why do any of this? Why do you need them?”

Griffin spared a quick glance to the group of shivering civilians. He hummed quietly, pressing dial for Bucky’s number. YN felt a drop of sweat bead down her neck. Rolling to meet the bulletproof fabric over her torso. She was alone in here, responsible for the lives of those petrified people. Staring and waiting for her to do something. Help them.

Her eyes fell to the remote in his hand. She could snatch it. The bomb was his power move. His leverage. Then again, the hostages were bargaining chips. He had to give something up. She had to remove variables.

“Let them go.” YN urged, holding her hands out in surrender. “You’ve got me, you’ve got my attention. Let them go.” He sighed dramatically, eyes rolling as he pressed the button for speakerphone.

“It’s no fun without an audience.” He whined, shrugging as he turned to the hostage group. “And to think- we were just getting to the good part. Fine! Leave, all of you.”

The group all scrambled to their feet, taking their leave before he changed his mind. The stampede rushed the door, cramming themselves out into the street. YN’s heart slowed, the adrenaline fading in her veins slightly. Her priority was taken care of- they all made it out alive.

“Hello?” YN never thought she would be nervous to hear Bucky’s voice. Casey smiled at the phone, eyes boring into her skull. “YN? Hello?”

“She can’t make it to the phone right now.” Griffin responded, giving her a mocking pout. The other end fell silent. YN could almost feel the paranoia settle over his body. “I would ask you to leave a message but I’m afraid she won’t be around much longer to hear it.”

An idea began to form, tingling at the base of her skull. YN gulped nervously. She had to keep him distracted- keep him focused on Bucky. But that also meant she had to stay focused on Casey. She couldn’t say a word to Bucky. Not yet.

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want?” Bucky hissed. YN closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She could pull her weapon. But could she pull it fast enough? Griffin could blow the place to smithereens. She could try to get the remote- every solution seemed to fall back to the same outcome. She grit her teeth- he had the upper hand. She could do nothing but wait it out.

“Joshua Rivers.” Casey replied. While his voice was smooth and unrestrained, his eyes told a different story. Seething, red hot rage burned in his veins. “Does that name ring any bells to you, Sargeant? Let me give you a hint anyways- I know how fragile the mind can be in the older years. He was a lead operative for Hydra. Four months ago, you raided his warehouse and instead of arresting him, you put a bullet through his skull.”

“He deserved more.” Bucky hissed, his voice crackling through the speaker. Echoing in the empty building. Casey scowled, his nose scrunching in anger. “That warehouse housed human experimentation projects.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Casey screamed, veins in his neck popping out against his skin. Pumping adrenaline in time with his heart. “He was a person- he had people who loved him, cared for him. You took that away from me. I can’t help but wonder… how you’ll feel about the same circumstances.”

“Where is YN?” Bucky demanded, keeping his voice level. YN began to creep her fingers up, toward the gun in her holster. She had one chance. He was distracted- she could gain the upper hand.

“Well, that’s a tricky question. It’s only a matter of time before she’s… everywhere.” Griffin shrugged, swinging his gaze back to YN. Her fingers faltered, halting at her hip. She was close, her thumb brushed the cold metal of the gun. “So now… now I think I’ll return the favor. You took something from me. The only person that ever mattered. You destroyed my world.”

“If you touch her, I swear to-“

“You don’t believe in God, Sergeant.” Griffin’s slow drawl interrupted the threat. His tongue ran over his lips, taking a deep breath. “He’s not real. If he were, don’t you believe that none of this suffering would happen?” There was a ruckus of noise on the other end of the phone, Bucky panting heavily. A door slamming. “This is your repentance, James Barnes.”

YN’s fingers wrapped around the metal plating, her nerves settling. She could make this draw. It would be fast enough. It would be accurate. She could end it once and for all. She exhaled slowly, counting down.

Three…

Two…

One…

In a flash, YN pulled her gun from her side. Aiming it at Casey’s chest and pulling the trigger. The loud gunfire echoed- ringing in her ears. Her heart sank. Stomach plummeting to her feet.

She missed.

Casey’s expression settled into one of contempt. Disappointment. The hell fire turned to her, his focus shifting from Bucky to YN. Surging toward her, his hand swung out, shoving the muzzle to the ceiling as she fired again. Casey’s fist tightened around her phone, a strong punch to her kidney sending her to her knees, wheezing for air. YN grunted, her hand swinging at a wide angle, but it was only deflected as the heel of his hand connected with her nose. Releasing a sharp cry, YN cradled her nose carefully. Eyes watering and face stinging. Bucky’s frantic shouts barely audible as she knelt, gasping in pain. Her thoughts muddled and slow.

Casey sighed dramatically, ripping the weapon from Yn’s hand. She groaned, disoriented as a fresh wave of pain throbbed from her face. Blood seeped from between her fingers, dripping down into a puddle on the tile floor.

“Say goodbye to your fiancée, Sergeant.”

~~~~~~

Bucky all but tossed the motorcycle onto the curb as he skidded to a stop. A blazing inferno consumed the building, scorching the blackened trees that once surrounded it. The hand gripping his throat squeezed tighter as he stumbled toward the police line. Shoving his way through bystanders.

He felt sick- choking back the nausea bubbling from his stomach. Fire bellowed from the gaping, blown out glassless windows. Portions of the building were collapsed, the rest soon to follow. He barreled through shouting police officers, desperate to reach the building.

“Barnes!” He didn’t turn- even though the voice was familiar. He had to get to her- she was still alive, he knew she was. She had to be. “Barnes- man, you can’t go in there!”

Hands grasped his metallic shoulder, pulling him back roughly. Bucky grunted, swinging his arm around, taking hold of the man’s bulletproof vest. He clenched his jaw, staring down at Alex Knowles. One of her partners. Knowles’ eyes were puffy and rimmed with red. His skin was irritated, probably from wiping tears away.

“She’s still in there.” Bucky stated, without asking if she had been pulled out yet. He knew the process of these kinds of situations. The fire chief had to clear it and the area was nowhere near safe enough. But his girl was in there, in danger. Dying slowly, the longer he stood around. It had already been too long.

“Teams haven’t been sent in yet… I know you’re scared but you could make it worse if you go in there guns blazing. It could collapse the rest of the way.” Knowles warned, his eyes begging Bucky to stay put. Bucky shoved him away. Stripping off his jacket, Bucky scowled at the man.

“I will be the something worse if she’s not alive. Don’t test me, Knowles.” He growled, tying the jacket sleeves around his waist. Bucky turned on his heel, sprinting for the blown out doors of the bank. Ignoring the shouts of the firemen and police officers on the scene.

Inside, the flames locked the walls, staying maintained. It seemed the only thing the department had been doing since the explosion was clearing the fire. They had been prepared somewhat.

Bucky stumbled through the rubble, boots tripping over chunks of concrete and twisted metal. He had to find YN, she was somewhere. He had to keep himself from thinking the worst- she was alive. She would be okay. He just had to find her first.

He turned what would’ve been a corner of the bank, his heart rocketing through his chest. The beat thumping wildly.

Two bodies. Lying side by side.

“YN!” He picked his way through rubble, skidding to his knees beside her. Deep cuts laced her dirtied features, trapped under a chunk of concrete from the waist down. For now, he didn’t care of the implications that could lie beneath the rock. His trembling fingers found the pulse point in her neck, bowing his head and stifling a sharp sob as he felt a faint, slow thrum. He brushed the hair from her face gently, biting his lip to keep himself together. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

Bucky shuffled down to her waist, hooking his fingers into the rock. Just as he began lifting, a sharp gasp startled him, almost dropping the rubble. He glanced back at YN- wide awake and sobbing. Carefully, Bucky spared a glance under the concrete. A metal rod went directly through her thigh, blood seeping from the wound.

“Shit…” It had been contained until he lifted it- now she was going to bleed out. He had to move fast. “YN, doll, I’ve got you. This is gonna hurt but it’ll be okay.”

She didn’t respond, sobs ripping from her chest as he stilled. Bucky took a deep breath, collecting his nerves. He moved quickly, throwing the concrete across the room with a loud grunt. An ear piercing shriek fell from Yn’s lips, her fist pounding the ground at her side. Bucky untied his jacket, wrapping it tightly around her injured thigh.

“Okay, sweetheart. We’re gonna get out of here.” Bucky’s chest tightened as he gathered her in his arms. She was shivering, huddling close to his body as best she could. Her skin was filthy, covered in soot, dirt, and blood. “Try to talk with me, sweet girl. Stay awake.”

“Ja- James…” YN’s fingers twisted into his shirt, tears soaking into his fabric. His heart clenched. It was his fault- that idiot had gone after her because of him. He held her closer, tighter, as he picked his way back to the doors. “I… I think I’m done- done smoking.”

Bucky almost laughed, forgetting his location. The situation fading as he spared a glance down to her face. She was grimacing, lips pulled and forehead wrinkled. But here she was- trying to joke with him.

“Why’s that, doll?” He questioned, emerging from the collapsed bank. The sunlight was strong, glaring down into his eyes. He hunched slightly, trying to block the intense light from her sensitive eyes. YN groaned, tugging weakly at his shirt. “We’re almost there, doll. Keep talking. Why’re you quittin’?”

“I’ve had enough smoke for one lifetime.” She replied, eyes fluttering. Paramedics rushed toward them, a gurney wheeled to their side. Bucky carefully lay her back, grasping her hand tightly as they rushed toward the ambulance.

Bucky didn’t reply, lips pressed together. Concern running rampant as they moved. His eyes caught Knowles and Bryant’s, averting his as soon as they landed. Loading into the ambulance.

“Bucky?” He quickly stepped up, sitting down in the back. Squeezing her hand tightly. YN gave a half- hearted return. Her fingers tangling with his, eyes closed. “Stay… please…”

“I’m here, sweetheart.” Bucky smiled, hoping his face could mask the desperate panic he felt in the pit of his stomach. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

[frasier-crane-style]

Watching Snyder League

-Diana literally vaporizes a guy armed with nothing but an assault rifle.

-Also, these have gotta be like the dumbest terrorists. Their plan:

A. Send multiple armed gunmen to take hostages.

B. Stall for time

C. Set off a suitcase bomb on a one minute countdown (why not just set it off immediately? It's In The Script)

You have a suitcase bomb--just park a car somewhere, set the timer, leave it in the trunk, and walk away. You can kill as many people as you want without losing any of your own guys.

-Superman's scream sends out five separate shockwaves. Which makes me think the guy's milking it, personally.

- I'm amused that both SOP for the Amazons is having, like, fifty people standing around guarding the Mother Box. AND that they don't ramp up security after it wakes up.

- And there's this system of burying the Mother Box.  Which 1. seems like the only way to get there in the first place is to teleport in. What good is this system against a teleporter?

2. It takes six guards to suicide themselves by knocking down pillars, which seems like--in five thousand years, you couldn't come up with something where you just pull a level from twenty feet away?

This is the problem with the Amazons. They're all women, so none of them go into STEM fields.

- It's also real weird that this Bruce Wayne doesn't even try to hide that he's Batman. He just walks right up to Aquaman and goes "hey, Bruce Wayne, I'm also Batman." And remember, he's getting the Justice League together entirely based on a hunch. At least in Josstice League, there were Parademons all up in Gotham.

- And should I even bother to ask why Darkseid's people can't just bring three new Mother Boxes to Earth? Are those the only three? If so, you'd think they'd try to get them back sooner. Like, A LOT sooner.

- Okay, this was supposed to come out one year before Infinity War, but still, it was pretty obvious what Marvel was doing with Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet. They had to know they were inviting comparisons.

-I love the implication, tho, that Darkseid just lost track of the Mother Boxes and just... no one realized they were back on Earth. And they have Parademons that can specifically sniff out the Mother Boxes. 

-And if Superman dying was such a momentous occasion that it woke up a Mother Box, why not the Old Gods dying? Why not Ares dying? Wouldn't that have left Earth just as undefended?

-I have no idea why any of this is happening a couple years after Superman debuted and then died and not in, like, 1446.

-Are the Mother Boxes like finicky computers? Do you need to turn them off and on again? When Superman showed up, did they shut down for real, and then he died, so they came back on for real? Is it like a Windows 95 thing, where you can't JUST turn the computer off, you have to go to the start menu and press Shutdown and then wait for it to close up shop?

-It’s so weird that this is supposed to be a Dark, Mature Adaptation For Adults! And it doesn’t have the same basic logic you’d get from an episode of Power Rangers. 

-So. Much. Daddy issues.

-Please stop letting Ezra Miller improv.

-They cast like the gayest man in America to play the one guy with a love interest.

-Diana: "I lost someone I loved once." Well, twice, but who's counting?

-All those reshoots and they couldn't get Amber Heard to knock off the British accent?

-Why is Desaad, of all people, Darkseid’s dragon? Is it just because they were rifling through all the Fourth World saga to find the few guys with scary names instead of Granny Goodness or Virman Vundabar?

- And they really play up Darkseid appearing to Steppenwolf, but we've not only already seen him in the big flashback, we saw him get his ass kicked by Zeus of all people.

- And the whole thing where Steppenwolf is part of Darkseid's 'family' really isn't helping the Thanos-Nebula-Gamora comparison.

-It's weird to introduce Darkseid as the guy who was already beaten once. Wouldn't it make more sense that Steppenwulf was the guy who lost, and that allowed Darkseid to take over, and now he's trying to redeem himself for his defeat? Or that Darkseid was never defeated at all, but someone stole the Anti-Life Equation from him and hid it on Earth? Something. Instead, it’s literally just randomly burnt into the crust of the Earth, Darkseid discovers it, then forgets all about it for reasons the movie doesn’t get into despite being four damn hours long.

-It’s only the central plot, whatever, forget about it.

- Pretty sure Kal eye-lasered a couple Army guys to death after he was resurrected, not that he ever gives a shit.

-Third big reveal of Darkseid. Come on, you've shown him three times now. We've heard him talk.

-And this does the same thing as Josstice League with Superman being more powerful than the rest of the JLA put together. Here, he even no-sells Steppenwolf's axe. He just lets it hit him and it doesn’t do shit. So Doomsday could kill him, but Steppenwolf can't even scratch him. And yet Wonder Woman seems pretty evenly matched with both, if not outclassed by Steppenwolf.

-Barry Allen spends the whole climax running in a circle. And he fails at it! Dude's really retarded when he doesn't have Team STAR Labs cheering him on.

-He also casually travels back in time to undo his side getting a Game Over, which makes you wonder how any conflict in this universe can ever have any stakes. Say what you will about Endgame, but at least they explain why time travel can’t solve every problem they ever have.

-Hell, the Mother Boxes can bring people back to life. The example used is literally “it can turn smoke back into a house.” Why not bring Joe Morton back to life? He did a good job in T2, c’mon.

-Speaking of, according to TV Tropes, Ray Fisher got to come up with his own backstory for Cyborg (”I don't praise Chris Terrio and Zack Snyder for simply putting me in Justice League. I praise them for EMPOWERING me (a black man with no film credits to his name) with a seat at the creative table and input on the framing of the Stones before there was even a script!”), which makes it kinda hilarious that this movie’s characterization of Cyborg is that he’s a genius sports hero who also loves helping out the underprivileged.

-AND his big conflict with his dad is that Silas Stone was never there for him, as literally represented by there being an empty seat next to his mom at Vic’s big sportsball game. So apparently the black experience is indistinguishable from Austin Powers In Goldmember. Who knew?

-What else? It's weird that the narrative tries to put some importance in Martha Kent, but then in her big scene with Lois, she's really Martian Manhunter (not kidding) and when Superman is resurrected, he hears encouraging words ONLY from Jor-El and Jonathan. All she really contributes to the story is hugging Superman after he comes back.

-Also, Batman spends a lot of time in the climax shooting people with a rifle. They're bug people and it's, like, a Halo rifle, but still. You can tell Snyder's just chomping at the bit to have Batman carry around a Colt Commando.

-They give no shits about secret identities in this, so why do they still bother with putting a shitty distortion effect on Batfleck's voice? He has a pretty good Batman voice outside the suit, but once he puts it on, he starts sounding like he's giving a blowjob to Daft Punk.

-One of the movie’s, like, four cliffhangers is Lex Luthor telling Deathstroke about Batman’s secret identity, because Deathstroke has a private vendetta against Batman and is out to get him. Of all the Bat rogues who are solely motivated by taking out Batman--why choose Deathstroke, the guy that’s just a mercenary for hire, to characterize as simply hating Batman? (They also imply Batman took out Deathstroke’s eye and THAT’S the big feud between him and--guys. C’mon. This was really supposed to be a whole movie of Deathstroke getting revenge for his eye?)

- The movie ends with them making Wayne Manor the JLA headquarters--God, just tell me if secret identities matter or not.

-Did we really need two ‘beyond the impossible’ scenes back to back, one for Cyborg and one for the Flash?

-Oh, it’s not Arkham Asylum, it’s ‘Arkham Home For The Emotionally Troubled.’ Was this supposed to be one of those Arrowverse things where they call it Starling City for a while, only to rebrand it Star City because that’s somehow better than just calling it Star City in the first place?

- "[Snyder] also said that the reason Darkseid lost track of which world the Mother Boxes were left on was because he was gravely injured and their forces sent limping away, and upon returning to Apokolips had to fight a civil war for the throne (possibly the event hinted where Steppenwolf betrayed him), wherein their records were lost." Imagine having a movie four hours long and not explaining the fucking backstory.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

what if in the distance series, she’s been having a really stressful week with her album promotions and whatnot and all calum wants to do is make her feel better and the facetimes can only help so much so he decides to fly out and surprise her 🥺

Thanks so much for the suggestion! I’m going to combine it with this one: 

i’m feeling rlly down do u think for the distance series you could write another blurb about the reader being really upset and not wanting to bother cal but she tweets a really concerning tweet and cal calls her and she’s balling and maybe he sings to her to make her to feel better and the next week she gets a care package?

I did some tweaks. Her album’s not out yet. She’s just promoting the singles. But the album is coming out soon! I’m not a professional, so I don’t know how any of this actually works. But I’m trying. 

Here are parts one, two, three, four, and five. This is the Distance series on my masterlist!

If you have any suggestions or ideas for this series, please feel free to send them to me! I will try and use as many as I can while also progressing the story along!

_______________________________

The thing about life is that, sometimes when one thinks there’s not much lower that they can do, there’s something right around the corner that proves deeper is possible. Though the tweets hadn’t exactly lessened,  she made a point not to be on social media unless she had to be, she only interacted with fans for a spare few minutes, liking tweets and reply to the love and positive outreach. Her relationship with social media is rapidly evolving and for the first time in a while, she kind of understood the reason why Calum never seemed to be on his. It was a hard river to get out of, if one floated down it too long. 

But now, she was looking at her schedule for promotion and while thankfully most things were still relatively close to her, traveling this much so soon, made her nervous. She tried to speak with her manager and the team, to see if some of the interviews could be scheduled for video. They had managed to keep a decent portion video based but still too many required her traveling. “I’ll try to talk to some people, but you really have to get out there, have people see your face. Besides, you already traveled out of the country once before. What’s the big deal now?”

It makes sense and she’s still new to this game. But going to see Calum is completely different than being in cities for hours before flying out for the next. Just the idea of her being herded around made her a little uncomfortable. “I understand that, but when am I supposed to be a human being during all of this? I still have songs to finish. And I visited a friend for a few days. Totally different than bouncing around god knows how many countries in two weeks. I need time to breathe in all this.”

“Listen, we’re here to help you out. The only way for this relationship to work is if there is mutual respect.”

“That’s rich,” she retorts. “I’m only simply asking that for my mental wellbeing that we adjust some of the interviews, that’s all.”

“And we will see what we can do.” The rest of the meeting is tense and it grates every nerve in her soul that there seems to be no real regard. It’s really just in the tone. Like she’s a child begging for candy in the checkout line while her mother has already told her once before that there is candy at home. 

But she has to in some ways take them at their word. She lets this go for now but when the next day, she receives an email that the schedule will remain the same, she knows in her gut that no one actually talked about rearranging anything. Can she really afford to cause a ripple? Especially so early in her career? These people kind of did pluck her from obscurity but at the same time, shouldn’t her voice be heard?

Remember the compression socks, reads the message from Calum. He sent her a care package last week, after hearing about her promotion schedule. It was going to be hell and Calum wasn’t going to hide that fact from her. She hadn’t told me about the small feud. So he sent things that helped him out a lot, the socks for the constant air travel, a sleep mask, vitamins, a book that he recommended but she hadn’t stopped by the local shop to buy, a pack of her favorite pens that she had to order from a place in New York, and a beautiful bound leather journal. Her wire bound notebook was curling at the corners and well loved. It was by time to get a new one but she had a hard time giving up on things. 

Snapping a picture of her carry on, she makes sure the socks are resting right on top. I would never. 

You got this, buttercup. Calum stares at his phone, wishing he could do a little 

The first couple of days aren’t so bad. The flights aren’t terribly long. The interviews are kind of fun, filled with plenty of laughter. There are gimmicky games based on her singles and they didn’t always pan out completely, but for a second, she figures maybe she had overreacted. But soon the interviews grow repetitive, the games are no longer fun. She can’t even write, by the time she’s on a plane, all she wants is sleep. The time zones are killer and she swears time means literally nothing as she’s hurded about. 

I’m losing it, she texts Calum. Losing all sense of her humanity. She’s grateful to meet her fans in the small pockets of time she’s allotted and that keeps her going. But slowly and surely, her body is drained. No amount of sleep means anything. She can’t hardly concrete. It’s all crumbling around her. She doesn’t feel human. 

“Are you sleeping?” Calum asks, through the screen. His picture goes pixelated for a quick second but then it straightens back out. 

“Yeah. Just doesn’t seem like enough though.”

Calum knows that feeling. He knows that look in her eyes too. It’s hard to keep up the facade when constantly about.  “Eating enough?”

“Kinda,” she admits. She tries to think what she had for breakfast. But that was hours ago and now she’s sitting waiting for another plane that will take her even further ahead in time. Will she be eating breakfast again soon? Does it even matter right now?

Calum passes along a few more tricks, but mostly aims to distract. He talks about the new music he’s working on. She asks if she can get a sneak peak and he’s more than happy to oblige. If that’s all he can do for the small moments in time, he’ll do it. He wishes he could do more though. It’s not easy and he’s fortunate to have three other people that are going through it all at the same time as him. There’s always a support system. But it’s just her. And she can confide in a couple of her security guards, they’ve become a level of friends, but it’s still not quite the same. 

“I miss my dog,” she confesses, randomly amongst the reverbing rumble of Calum’s bass as he finishes the last chord in the progression. Her chest starts to ache. And the tears are stinging her eyes before she can really stop them. “I miss my dog so fucking much,” she cries in a whisper. “I miss my bed. I miss you.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s hard to be away. I totally get it.” His heart races, because of her tears but also because of her confession. Now, probably isn’t the time, not to get hung up on that last sentence but his mouth is moving before he can will it not too. “I miss you too. And I know your dog misses you. And it’s okay to miss us. We’ll always be right here when you need us.”

It doesn’t help to be having this breakdown in the middle of an airport. And sure, there might be headlines in the coming days but at the end of the day she’s so human. No matter how much she wants to pretend nothing ever affects her, it does. It always will. Her wall isn’t without some flaws. She does her best to calm the tears, steady her breathing but it feels so right just to let it all out. 

She manages to excuse herself to that bathroom. There are still about thirty minutes before her flight and she has to get it all out now before she boards. With Calum still on the line, she sobs in the bathroom. A toilet flushes alerting her that she’s not as alone as she once expected but locked into the stall, it doesn’t matter. Calum soothes her as best he can, telling her it’s okay to get it all out.  Ten minutes later, she’s cleaned up and running back to her gate. “Thanks, Cal.”

“No, no need to thank me. Just take care of yourself, okay? Please.”

She nods, guards waiting for her with her bags. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Just like she knew, it’s all over the internet the next day. The woman interviewing asks if everything’s okay, what sparked the teary episode. “I’m human, in case anyone forgets. I am human and I just hit my limit. I think we all need to take a moment to remember we are human. I am. You are. The person listening to this. We’re all human at the end of the day.” That’s all she has to say because if truth be told, she’s still at that limit, she’s still hitting that wall in which everything feels hazy but crying her eyes out helped a little bit. 

Calum sees her interview, not trying to look for it, but it pops up on his timeline. Her voice shakes as she speaks, lower lip quivering but her tone is strong, there’s a fire behind her eyes as she talks. Calum knows she’s hitting that wall and she won’t really get over it until she gets home and gets a chance to unwind. It’s crazy. Really, but he can’t do much over a call or over a video chat. So he figures out when her return home is and books a flight out for the next day. He should really make sure she wants company to, but it’s too late now as his email dings with the confirmation. 

It’s midday and it should require more pants than she’s currently wearing, her only plans are to stay curled up on her couch and snuggled up with her dog. She has plenty of food in the house and she doesn’t mind taking the moment to cook for herself. The knock at her door is surprising and she stands, hollering that she needs just a moment and scurries to her room to grab a pair of shorts off the chair in her room that has just become the clothes chair when things aren’t dirty to go into the laundry but aren’t clean to stick back into the drawer. 

And there’s Calum, just standing at her door. A hoodie on his head, covering the baseball cap and his sunglasses. “Hey,” he exhales with a tiny grin. 

All she can do is hug him, shaking with a small bit of laughter. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, or if I’m hallucinating this, but I’m absolutely okay with this.”

He kisses the top of her head. “Just here to cheer you up, buttercup. That’s all.”

-H

[maddie-the-princess]

If You Love Me, Let Me Go Part 6

Fandom: Sanders Sides

AU: High School 

Pairing(s): LAMP

Summary: Virgil and his family are new to the neighborhood. He starts a new school where he learns to love himself, and maybe, love his new friends. 

Warnings: Cursing

Thank you to @kuroyurishion for helping me with this chapter. Please enjoy the story. 

Chapter Six: Introducing the Gossip Gays

Virgil’s POV

And just like that, I received three new numbers on my phone. That brings the current number of contacts on my phone to five. Sighing to myself, I walked home after school in a comfortable silence. No one was home, as per usual, so I went upstairs to my room and began my homework. Slipping my headphones on, I played a playlist, appropriately named ‘Emo Playlist’ and worked. 

Hours later, while I was grumbling over Math homework, the playlist stopped. There was a new text from Remy.

-Group Chat: The Dark Sides-

Mr. Sandman: I’m borreedd

Double Dee: You’re always bored.

Trash Goblin: Put Redbull in your coffee!

I laughed out loud at Remus’ comment. Thinking quickly, I texted a reply.

Me: What’s up Remy?

Mr. Sandman: Babe! So glad you can join us!

Double Dee: Hey there shortstack.

Trash Goblin: Heya shortie! 

Mr. Sandman: Remember what I said earlier at lunch? About the new store opening up?

Mr. Sandman: It’s opening on Saturday. We can go then.

Double Dee: Wonderful idea. My parents already said yes.

Trash Goblin: My parents don’t give a shit, but I told them anyway!

Mr. Sandman: Sweet. Hbu babe?

I bit my lip. Would my parents even say yes? I texted back.

Me: Let me ask them.

Mr. Sandman: Let us know babe. 

Trash Goblin: Even if they say no, we’ll break you out of your house!

Double Dee: That’s illegal, Re.

Trash Goblin: Boo, you’re no fun. 

I smiled at their texts. I felt happier. I’ve never been invited out by anyone before, even if it was just to go to the mall. I placed my phone down and resumed by playlist, looking again at the math worksheet in front of me. 

Hours later, I hear the front door opening just as I was finishing up my homework. I peaked out of my room and heard the grumbling of my parents. I go down to greet them.

“Virge, honey? We’re home!” my mom calls out. She smiles at me. My dad follows her, holding a pizza box. 

“Hey sport.” he says, placing the pizza box on the table. “Our co-workers treated us to pizza today, so we brought home some for you. Hope you like onions on yours though.”

I didn’t like onions on my pizza, but I nod nonetheless. Taking a deep breath, I decided to ask them. It’s like a bandaid. You just have to rip it off.

“Hey mom, dad?” I asked hesitantly, hoping my voice wouldn't waver. They give me a hum in response. Hurry, before I lose my confidence. “Can I go to the mall with my friends on Saturday?!” I ask quickly. The two of them stopped in their tracks. 

“You have friends?!” my mom exclaims. “And they’re inviting you out?” I flinch. I know she didn’t mean for that to sound harsh, but still. Even my dad was giving her a questioning glance. 

“What your mother means,” my dad interjects, “is that we’re surprised you’re making friends this quickly. But sure, sport. We have work on Saturday, but it seems ok with us.” He turns around and grabs a slice of pizza from the box and presents it to me. “Now, wanna have a slice?”

After the pizza dinner, I went back upstairs to get ready for bed. I texted my friends before I slept.

Me: Raincheck on breaking me out of my house, Re. They said yes.

Trash Goblin: Aww man! My services are still available to you if you ever need it!

Double Dee: Remus, no.

Trash Goblin: Remus yes!

Mr. Sandman: Enough you two. Thanks for letting us know babe. My dad will pick us all up at about noon, so give me your address.

I sent my address to them.

Mr. Sandman: Thanks babe. See you tomorrow at school!

Double Dee: Good night shortstuff.

Trash Goblin: Do let the bedbugs bite tonight shortie!

Me: Thanks guys. Good night.

With that, I plugged my phone in and got comfortable underneath the comforter. Today was Wednesday, and I found myself waiting excitingly for Saturday to come. 

***

The rest of the week went by quickly. I was getting accustomed to class, and to Patton, Logan, and Roman in them. Before I knew it, it was Saturday. I was pacing nervously in the living room. My mom left for work already, but my dad was still getting ready while giving me a talk.

“If you’re ever in trouble, don’t hesitate to call me or your mother. Or find mall security.”

“Ok dad.”

“Don’t wander from the group. Use the buddy system if you have to.”

“Got it dad.”

“I’ll let you borrow my card if you want to buy something.”

“Thanks dad.”

I continued to pace around, looking down at my outfit, making sure it was ok. I wore my signature black ripped jeans and my black Doc Martin boots, with Fall Out Boy T-shirt and a purple flannel wrapped around my waist. I wore my usual black eyeshadow but decided to paint my nails a dark purple this time. My black backpack contained my sketchbook, phone, wallet, and other necessities. 

There was a honk outside the house. I raced towards the door, and found a large silver car with Remy in the front seat. The window rolled down, and he smiled cheekily at me. “Hey Mr. Sullivan!” Remy called out as I went towards his car. My dad smiled and waved me a goodbye as he also left the house for work. “I’ll have your son home at a reasonable time!” Remy said as I got into his car. Dee and Remus were already there with Remus sitting by the window. I greeted them happily. I was excited for this little excursion. 

“Looking good shortie!” Remus cackled. I sent him a kind hearted glare and Dee sighed in exasperation. 

“Let’s get this show on the road babes!” Remy cheered and we drove off. Along the way, Dee pointed out different places around town that we could visit at a later time, like a coffee shop, ice cream parlor, and other restaurants, and some small businesses run by families. Ten minutes later, we arrived at the mall. It was huge, maybe with about 2-3 floors! Remy grinned at my stunned expression. “Haven’t seen a mall this size, huh Vee?” he teased.

We entered, and Remy dragged us to the store that just opened. Turns out it was a piercing store, and there were people already lined up for it. Remy whistled. 

“Damn, there’s already a bunch of people here.” he exclaims. A woman holding fliers spotted us and grinned, walking towards us earnestly. She had long neon pink hair and was heavily inked. 

“Hey!” she greeted, handing each one of us a flier advertising the new store. “This is Tears for Pierce, a piercing store that also doubles as a tattoo parlor. This flier I gave you tells you guys a bit about what kinds of things we do here.” 

I looked over it. There were a lot of selections, including belly button piercings or ear piercings, and some selections for tattoos. The prices are beside the selections. The girl continues, “If you want to have a tattoo or body piercing done, you have to be at least eighteen or older. But that excludes ear piercings.” She points to the top of the flier. “My name is Amelia Stone, and there’s my contact info if you have any further questions.” She walked away to hand out more fliers. 

The four of us were in stunned silence. “None of us are eighteen yet.” Dee noted seriously, looking straight at Remus, who was pouting like a child. Remy whistled and pocketed the flier. 

“We have a couple more years.” he said, and the four of us went on our merry way. Dee, Remy, and Remus showed me the best places to go and hang, pointing out their favorite stores and restaurants. Remy obviously liked Starbucks, but also liked tea stores. Dee prefered Aeropostale or Hollister. Remus’ favorite store was hands down Spencers. When they asked me, I answered Hot Topic with no hesitation. 

“Of course the emo loves Hot Topic.” Remus said fondly. He slung his arm around my neck, draping it over my shoulders. “We’re gonna head over to some shops, but first, let’s have lunch.” And we had lunch at the Food Court, with Remus stealing put fries and having a mini food fight. Then, Remus hauled us over to the various stores scattered throughout the mall. 

Around we went, in and out of stores, checking out what they had. Remy went and bought a couple new leather jackets and comfy sweaters, while Dee bought a new pair of pants and a couple new shirts. Remus dragged me to Hot Topic, and the two of us had a fun time picking out different band t-shirts and jewelry. I bought some chokers and more band T-shirts, because you can never have too many band T-shirts. Remus bounded over to Spencers, where we found him in the very back. 

We continued like this, trying to find styles that we liked. After hours of walking around, trying to find what I liked, Remy and I walked into a store while Remus and Dee took a small break. Remy hummed as he looked through racks of pants, picking and choosing what looked good for either him or me. I wandered off and looked at flannel shirts.

Then, something caught my eye. It was a gothic black and purple plaid skirt, with black ribbons in the front. I picked it up, and internally cheered when I found out it was my size. I admired it for a bit. It looked pretty, and I really liked how it looked. It kinda… suited me? 

“You want it?” I heard a voice ask. I whirled around in surprise. Remy was looking at what I have with an amused smirk. I blushed in embarrassment.

‘Oh god, what if he thinks I’m a freak.’ I thought miserably. And before the second week of school, here I believed a friendship had been ruined, ‘He’s gonna gossip about me to the entire school. He’s gonna bully me and everyone’s gonna think that I’m a weirdo and-’ My thoughts were stopped when I felt Remy gently place his hands on my shoulder.

“Vee,” he said soothingly, “breathe for me. I know what you’re thinking.” He took the skirt from my hands and observed it. “Frankly, I don’t give a shit if you wear a skirt. If you’re comfortable in it, then go on and wear it. But if you want my opinion, I think you’d rock this skirt.” he declared.

I perked up. “Seriously?!” I exclaimed. Remy nodded. I nearly cried happy tears. 

“You lack confidence, Vee.” Remy said, turning away with the skirt in hand. I followed after him. “You're shy and anxious. As your friends, Dee, Ree, and I want you to be comfortable with yourself. He went to the counter and paid for it before I could protest. He stuffed the skirt in my bag. “Don’t worry about it babe.” Remy said when I asked why he paid for it. “Think of it as a welcome gift.” 

When we walked out of the store, Dee and Remus looked proud.

*** Before we left the mall, we stopped at Starbucks. The barista took one look at Remy and immediately started making a cup of coffee. I looked at him amused. “Kinda famous in this place.” Remy muttered fondly. “What do the rest of you want?”

Minutes later, the four of us were sitting at a high table, chatting idly. 

“So shortstuff,” Dee starts off, “I’ve seen you getting a little close to some boys in our class. Care to share with the class what’s been going on there?” 

I choked on my drink. “What?” I coughed. 

Dee rolls his eyes. “I know a lot of things shortstuff.” he says teasingly. “That day when you had a misunderstanding? I did some observing.” 

Remy raised an eyebrow. “Spill the tea, Dee.” he demanded lightly. “Seems I’ve been missing something.”

I signaled for Dee to stop talking with a light glare. He didn’t. “It seems to me that shortstuff over here is pining over three boys.” he drawled. “Patton Hart, Logan Owens, and Roman King.”

Three things happened simultaneously. One, I put my head down and tried to hide from the world. Two, Remy outright laughed at me. Three, Remus actually spat out his drink all over the table. Dee grimaced and went to clean up the mess with Remus’ help.

“Holy shit.” Remus cackled. I shot my head up and glared at him. “I fucking knew it! Roro’s gonna be so jealous. I didn’t even tell him that you were coming with us today!” 

I stared at him. “You’re brothers.” I stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Remus nodded. “I’m the older twin, by like a minute, and obviously the hotter one.”

“Yeah, sure.” I teased. Remus gasped, offended.

“I totally am!” he declared. “Double Dee, you think I’m the hotter twin right?” Dee didn’t even grace him an answer, so Remus pressed again, leaning against him with a pout on his face. “Double Dee?” he whined. He leaned further into Dee’s space, his face close to Dee’s. Remy and I were looking on with suppressed giggles. Looking closely, you could see a faint blush on Dee’s cheeks.

“Yes, Remus.” Dee answered with a sigh. “You’re the hotter twin.” At this, Remus cheered happily and turned to me with a victorious look on his face. Remy snickered under his breath, and muttered “whipped”. Dee turned to him with a teasing grin.

“And what about you, Remy? Keep in touch with a certain cartoon loving person?

Remy spluttered. Damn, nobody is safe from Dee today. I tilted my head in confusion. 

Dee explained. “Remy hung out with an upperclassman last year, and became really close. He’s in his first year of college right now studying to be a therapist.”

I gaped at my friend. “An older guy, huh? In college no less.” I teased. I couldn’t help it. The three of us laughed as Remy groaned into his hands. 

“You’re all terrible people. I hate you all.” Remy grumbled. That sent the three of us into another fit of laughter. 

Remy’s dad brought me home near 10:00 in the evening. “We’ll see you at school Monday Vee!” Remy called out. “And you better wear some of the new things we got you!” With that, the car drove off after making sure I was safe inside my house. 

Putting all of the new clothes away in my dressers, the skirt remained folded and placed gently deep inside my closet, I did my nighttime routine. I lay in bed, thinking about today. I had fun with Dee, Remus, and Remy. They’re really nice, really accepting, and just generally an awesome group of people. I really liked them. Smiling to myself, I turned underneath the covers, glad that I found a group of friends that like me, and I like them in return.

Anyone wanna be in my taglist? Let me know!

Taglist:

@sure-i-exist

@theoretically--speaking

@sups-stuff

[jackbabewang]

Chapter 2 — Bad habits

Word count ‧ 3,730

Chapter summary ‧ You must be out of your mind to think that he actually cared.

Masterlist

You finally got your eyes to cooperate to stay open and looked up to see a silhouette of a man in very close proximity with you. Your heart leaped to your throat, suddenly remembered that you were in Yoonoh’s room. 

“Jung… Yoonoh,” you said his name in a faltering and trembling voice. You dared not to move and stared dumbly at him. The touch of his hand on your bare skin sent streaks of fire racing up and down your body. 

He seemed to hear your voice then his movements came to a complete stop. You felt his breath warm on your neck, heard his heavy breathing in your ear. 

“Keep going, or not?” he asked, his voice deeper than before, huskier, and filled with unspoken desire. 

Your nervous system shut down, but quickly came to life in a rush of heat. Your knees trembled and your stomach clenched. Your breath was uneven when your lips parted as if to say something, but nothing came out. It was intense and then suddenly he pulled back and lifted the blanket and made his way to the bathroom in the darkness. 

You had no idea what time it was when you woke up last night, but it was an absolute certainty that your eyes were wide smack open till the next morning. And after Yoonoh went into the bathroom, he had been out of his room since. Where did he go?

You dilly-dallied, slipped out of bed, padded to the bathroom and damn—your head was swimming with dizziness along with pounding from the two or three hours of sleep. You stood before the mirror, you could see the stark evidence of the episode from the night before—that your pyjamas looked a bit crumpled. You had no idea how you were going to face him any later. 

It was still early in the morning, not quite seven, your parents had not gotten up yet. All your clothes were in that room and you were afraid that you could not get in there at the moment. You remembered you had clothes hung outside that you washed yesterday and so you went downstairs to get a fresh set of clothes. 

Chop, chop, chop. Slice, slice, slice. The sound of the knife cutting through and landing against the wooden board drew you into the doorway, onto the threshold of the kitchen. Assuming your mother had woken up rather early. You opened your mouth—to call out “mom”—but the word was suddenly stuck in your throat as soon as you came eyeball-to-eyeball with the last person you wanted to see just then. You jolted with the shock and spun on your heels preparing to sprint away. 

“Come here.” 

The second after you whirled, Yoonoh called out to you faintly. Did he not feel awkward at all? 

Right, it was him who took advantage of you, how could he possibly feel awkward about it.

Reluctantly you turned back around, somehow keeping your face perfectly calm. “My! You’re up early today.”

He brought some thinly sliced spring onion into a small bowl, without any expression on his face he echoed, “When was I never earlier than you?”

Pfft! Only very slight bit, what’s there to be hoity-toity about?

“Wash your hands.” He commanded. 

“What for?” 

He did not answer but turned around to continue what he had been doing without giving a damn on you. On instinct you rolled your eyes and padded to the sink. You ran the water and held your hands under the stream, rubbing palm to palm as an indication whatsoever before turning off the faucet. Yoonoh swiveled his head rather abruptly and stared at your hands, “Wash with soap.”

It’s not like you’re a kid anymore, so what’s with the soap? Killing bacteria? You grumbled internally but not wanting to waste time and energy bickering over petty things so you had it his way and washed your hands once again with an antibacterial soap. 

As you dried your hands with soft strokes of the towel, Yoonoh pointed to one, two, three and four eggs in the basket then said, “Peel the eggs.”

After all that fuss made about hygiene, was it his germophobia acting up then? Only just peeling eggs and you thought he wanted you to knead a dough instead.

You obliged without uttering a syllable and with every murky shell that peeled off you felt your cheeks grew warmer. 

That… bared in its all glory… last night you shared a bed with someone as equally au naturel, and… 

Stop, stop! 

You became even more flushed than a minute ago, with bright red spots appearing on your cheeks. Yet Yoonoh noticed every detail with his sharpness as Hawkeye’s, giving no quarter that he pointed out, “What’s with your face matching the colour of pig’s blood early in the morning?”

He could’ve gone further exaggerating the metaphoricity; it would not hurt any less either way. 

Noticing your silence, he seasoned his remark with malice, “Or, you’re shy about what happened last night?” 

“Hmph,” he smirked, without another word he spun around and poured a little olive oil in the pan. 

Pervert. 

You did not want him to see your face, your embarrassed reaction to his comment so you could only turn your back to him as well and not pick an argument with him.

After breakfast, your parents had to catch the return flight back to Ulsan and so Yoonoh drove them to the airport. In wishing you goodbye, your mother held onto your hands, and over and over she was only concerned about Yoonoh that you might not take good care of him, leaving him to starve or freeze or wither up at leisure.

You were certain the woman standing before you was, indeed, not your biological mother. 

Until your parents had settled in at the boarding gate then you returned home. As Yoonoh drove past a grocery store, you suddenly remembered that you were out of toothpaste so you made him stopped by. 

Afraid that he might get impatient with waiting, you headed straight to the sales assistant for the placement of the product, impulsively grabbing a box of toothpaste and checked out at the counter. 

Right after you walked out through the automatic doors labeled “Exit Only” you saw an oh-so-slim sylph sashaying towards the direction of Yoonoh’s car. The man got down, apparently completely clueless what he said to her that the very next moment she was in the passenger seat. 

A message came in, signaled by the slight vibration of the device in your hand, from Yoonoh: Something came up, had to leave first. Get yourself a ride home.

He drove away and you watched until his car was out of sight. Gingerly you moved your thumbs over the screen, typing out a reply: Ok.

In the center of your palm laid a dull silver coin of 500won of the amount of change. It was cool and, weirdly, heavy. 

Five years ago, 500won would have taken you through the main areas of downtown of Seoul. But now, 500won worth nothing to what seemed to be the cheapest transportation in the entire world. 

During your summer break from middle school, you and your little companions would walk miles to travel around the city and returned on foot evening just to reserve that 500won for snacks. The distance of those journeys was never concerned, surprisingly you did not feel tired at all be it three hours, or that was because you were snacking along the way. 

But, as you grew older, and supposed to be tougher, thirty minutes of walking already had you feeling tired and panting, the soles of your feet hurt. 

It took you a little over an hour to walk back home from the airport. When you finally reached the front door and opened it, you could have just sit in the foyer and would not move a finger for hours on end. The fact that you made it into the house with persistence was enough to say that you were absolutely soiled. 

A wave of utter exhaustion overtook you, and eventually you felt sleepy so you took a quick shower and went to bed. Till five thirty in the evening, you woke up. For so long you slept it was the reason that you had not sleep a wink last night. 

You got up and filled yourself a glass of water. You gently raised your head high enough so you could drink without choking. The water was cool and refreshing and you sipped a few mouthfuls. You had not realized how thirsty you were, then your stomach grumbled, or how hungry. And so you made yourself a bowl of noodles then washed the breakfast dishes. 

Yoonoh was not home yet, you had no idea what had he been doing or where was he with Sooyoung, or he might not return even… 

Tidying up the living room after, dishwashing, you made your way upstairs again. Had you been sleeping all the afternoon through, you did not feel signs of drowsiness. 

Flipping through pages, reading passages randomly, yet you could not commit to reading the book in its entirety, so you pulled out your phone. 

Ever since you graduated from college, you had lost contact with many of your friends except for your dear Jennie. And you called her for long, giggly, pointless chats about the minutiae of life, not knowing when or how the conversation led to Yoonoh. 

Jennie: Honestly, about your marriage to him, it’s kinda unbelievable, but bound to happen.

Y: What was bound to happen? 

Jennie: Even though I don’t know him well, he seemed to be a cold person to me, it’s the truth. I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t shaken when I found out in high school that we have a senior that’s smart and so good-looking. But every single time when I greeted him he just ignored me, and I’m like ‘forget about it’ and moved on. 

Jennie: But then again, I’m not the only shameless one. A lot of girls tried to talk to him and got ignored, except you. Every time you walked past him and need not to say anything, his eyes went to you instinctively. 

Jennie: And I’d also realized that you’re the only person he talked to, that’s the only time his poker face showed expressions, which is why we’d all thought that out of all the women in the world, he’d choose you. 

Frankly speaking, Jennie transferred to different school in 12th grade, she had no idea of the presence of another. 

Y: Was his face like this every time he saw me? 🙄 This kinda expression was it? 😒 

Jennie: Dang, those two. Accurate!

Y: … 

And how did they even perceive that as signs of interest?

Jennie descended from a family of scholars, her father an archeologist while her mother a college professor, eventually their thinking was old fashioned—positively feudal. Watching their daughter of nearing thirty and had no male relation of potential son-in-law, they were undeniably concerned. 

When Jennie was still in New Zealand, never had they ever brought up the topic in their phone calls. However merely returned for a few days, the poor girl had been getting her ear chewed off. 

She grumbled, “Had I known it’s gonna be like this, I wouldn’t come back.”

Gloating over her misery, you pricked the bubbles of truth, “I guess your parents were afraid that you’ll find yourself a kiwi husband so they never pressed you about it. Now that they’ve coaxed you to come back, of course they’re gonna seize the opportunity to settle you down with a domestic spouse.” 

She banged her head against the table, “That’s racist, racist! Why’s my life so miserable?”

You lifted the cup of fresh coffee to your lips, blowing on it prior to taking a sip, not even trying to console her at this point. 

Your supposed “hang out” for the day was because of her desperately crying for help earlier in the morning that her parents had arranged a blind date for her. 

She had never done anything like that, which was why she was extra nervous and dragged you out from your house to be that… third wheel. 

The more she talked about it the more she grew restless and finally she slumped motionless on the table as if her body was hollowed out. You intended to remind her of her hair getting into the coffee, but before you could even speak up, a hand came out of nowhere and brushed out her messy strands. 

Assuming that it was you, she lifted her head and grabbed ahold of the hand, then as if feeling an unusual sensation, aggressively surprised, “Who are you?”

The hand belonged to a remarkably handsome man with dark eyes and hair; well behaved, very courteous, very well-mannered, radiating all—Jennie’s designated partner for the blind date. 

Maybe he was equally unfamiliar with the social engagement which he had also brought along a company as emotional support. 

Therefore, what was supposed to be a blind date for two, appeared to be for a pair now. 

Jennie’s partner, Kim Doyoung, came from a family of scholars as well; his friend went by the name Qian Kun, whose parents ran a small business. 

You were struggling to manage a conversation with Kun and at the same time observing the other two, seemed like she already had the urge to run for her life, meanwhile the man was more of a gentleman that there was no way for the usually bold Jennie to lie her desire to escape. 

As for the impression that Doyoung gave you… it was a positive that he had taken an interest in her. 

No no no, but the way he looked at Jennie was definitely like… he was gazing upon his lover.

It gave an indication that they had known each other for a long time. 

Interesting. 

Kun was untalkative, but he was polite, the kind of person that would only answer questions, not offer more and kept silent when not. Though he lent a sense of comfort and harmony, but lacked existence at the same time. Thankfully he was born charming that even when he did not speak, people would almost stop and stare at him. 

More than a little while at the cafe, Doyoung offered to buy dinner for everyone. Jennie had wanted to reject however under the supervision of her mother with a text message querying about their progress, she gritted her teeth and made it happen in case she would be having her parents breathing down her neck.

Doyoung only ate a little and then stuffing Jennie with so much food that it was visibly to you that she had lost patience with the man. 

It was yet the end, that you proceeded to the next round at a karaoke bar. Somewhat dubious that Jennie had reached the limit of her tolerance, or she intended him to retreat. Who used to have a wonderful singing voice was intentionally going off pitch, and picked a trot song that she belted out from deep within her soul. 

It was to the point that you, being a tone-deaf, could not help but grew annoyed at her awful singing. 

She was rather ferocious that night that she bitterly suggested to compete Doyoung in drinking. Clearly she was a lightweight but insisted the attendant to serve bottles and bottles of soju. 

Your eyes bulged in surprise as you stared at the dozen of alcohol, you contemplated warning her but out of the blue you registered the changing gaze of Jennie on Doyoung. 

She cracked open a bottle of soju and slammed it on the table with a loud smack. She looked at him provocatively, speaking, “If you get through me tonight, I’ll try to date you for good, deal?”

Both you and Kun gaped at the pair in silence. There was a ghost of a smile crossed Doyoung’s face then he reached over to snatched the bottle from her grip, “You don’t have to drink, I’ll finish all of these, as long as you don’t go back on your word.”

Next thing you all witnessed him drowning bottle to bottle, ravenously. Till the third bottle, he was unable to swallow anymore, clear transparent liquor escaped from the corner of his mouth. Jennie roared, “Don’t let it drip!” 

He shot a glance at her then ushered Kun to bring him another bottle. 

Kun said nothing, and did not bother advising him, without a word he fetched another dozen of soju. You watched him as a small smirk crept onto your face, Doyoung was discreet in choosing friends, you thought. 

Specifically how many bottles he had downed, you had lost count of it. He was completely wasted and could not even sit steadily. 

You could not bear to watch another moment more and wanted to convince Jennie to make him stop, but in that sense, it meant that she would have to raise the white flag and date him for real. But acknowledging the cruel fact that she had not had even a slither of interest in him, you gave up instead after multiple failed attempts. 

In a way everything just came to an end, there was not an outcome between Jennie and Doyoung. However on the way back, you could sense the bad omen in your friend. 

You kept your voice calm and neutral, but there was clear teasing in your tone, “That was a difficult one, seems like you can’t get rid of him any way.” 

Jennie went silent for a moment while she switched gears mentally, “At first I thought he was familiar but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly who he was until I saw that he was left handed during dinner then I suddenly remembered that he’s that douchebag Kim Dongyoung.” 

“Dongyoung? That sounds familiar.” You heard somewhere but could not remember the sudden recollection. 

She said, “During high school, the asshole that I had a crush on!” 

Now, hearing that from her own lips, you came to the sudden realization and a blurry silhouette of a guy popped inside your head. For quite a while that Jennie dated him in high school, later it was because the counterpart was tangled with another girl that they broke up after. Then Jennie went overseas, and the guy called Dongyoung vanished into thin air, nowhere to be found. 

“But why is he called Doyoung now?”

“It was some superstitious belief I guess. His family is weird.” 

“Seems like he was hoping to rekindle the past romantic flames. Do you still have feelings for him?” you asked. 

She answered disdainfully, “We were immature back then, I’d already lost whatever I had for him.” 

“To me it’s like he couldn’t forget about you though.” Honestly you could tell that she had not moved on entirely from him, otherwise how could she recognized him as the Dongyoung back then? 

“That’s his problem. I don’t dwell on the past, especially one that’s tainted.” When she spoke of the word ‘tainted’, she muttered between clenched teeth, which did not sound nice at all. 

You became silent then, not wanting to jog her through bad memories. However you could not help but be reminded of the diminishing figure of Yoonoh and Sooyoung that day as the distance between them increased by a yard per mile. Suddenly you could feel the morose mood within. 

Jennie drove you back home then buzzed off with a simple “goodnight”. You knew that she was definitely going for speeding down the road to get her mind off. 

From afar you had already noticed that the lights were on, for sure Yoonoh was home. When you made your entrance and changed your shoes, there you saw him on the couch. 

You were still sulky and resentful and bitchy so you decided to ignore him at the moment. You changed into your fluffy slippers and went straight for the stairs and up them. 

“Where have you been, why do you smell like alcohol all over?” He sat on the couch, suddenly threw a question with obvious ill judgement. 

Subconsciously you took a whiff of your own self, and retorted, “I didn’t drink.”

“What’s with the strong odor if you didn’t?”

“Probably when helping Doyoung…” you paused, previously you had made a mental note to ignore him at all costs, yet you were explaining yourself to him?

He sure knew how to pick up important points, “Who is Doyoung?”

You pursed your lips, had you wanted to explain to him, but questioned back instead, “Why do you care?”

His face went dark immediately, “You’ve been with that guy this whole day?”

“So what if I was?”

“It’s fine, but I have to remind you now that you’re labelled as me, Jung Yoonoh’s wife, you better not try something that puts me in shame,” he said, coldly. 

Oh, so that’s it?

What were you exactly wishing for? Doing this deliberately, intentionally to get him misunderstood. You sure were out of your mind. 

“Alright.” You were too tired to fight with him, mentally tired, honestly you had began to get tired of this lifestyle as well. Two people who lived under the same roof and seeing the same face every morning, day in and day out, yet always fighting and hurting each other every time when mouths opened that you basically did not speak the same language. It was indeed tiring. 

As if he never thought that you would be easily compromised this time that he was stunned for a second, and just continued what he had been doing with nothing said. You did not stay any longer and went upstairs. 

In fact, all these years you both had cared too much about pride which caused this constant tension and friction in between. 

When one attacked another, there would be horrible and awful words as defensive comeback. 

Those hurtful words would end up hurting yourselves anyway. If you did not went all out your way to maliciously hurt others, how would it lead to harsh and cruel retaliation in the other part? 

As long as one first backed down and admitted defeat, eventually the other would stop before going too far. 

Both adults knew that, yet no one had the courage to let go of their pride and ego. 

[samsterham]

The Fuckening, Entry # 1

Despite the novel covid-19 being around for a pretty hot minute now, I have only been self-quarantined about 6 days. There have been several confirmed cases in my county, and today the county had it’s first death.

If it’s not apparent by the title, I’ve decided to officially from here on out refer to this entire debacle as The Fuckening. I will swear. A lot. 

I figure it might be somehow lucrative to record my experiences throughout the pandemic, at least as it is pertinent to my country & area. Aside from broader, more public events, it might be interesting to someday look back on my day to day & how we dealt & felt & what we did. I should have been keeping a diary of my life anyway & had intended to despite never making it a priority. Now is as good a time as any.

Anyhow, I anticipate this being a rather disjointed project, variable in moods, topics, formats, etc. & rife with grammatical errors. I haven’t decided how revealing of my identity & location I would like to be, I suppose that’s something I’ll decide as I go. All I’ll reveal for the moment is I live in the U.S. in Pennsylvania.

Recapping what I can right now:

I’m in about day 6 of self-quarantine. All schools have cancelled regular classes and have gone exclusively online, as has happened pretty much everywhere else. My community college also followed suit along with probably every college & university at this point. I’ve had a little over a week off for faculty & staff to prepare for the shift. Class resumes this upcoming wednesday online for the rest of the semester. Curious to how they’re going to structure & grade our biology lab credits. 

Bars & restaurants have been state-mandated to shut down except for take-out. Now the liquor stores have shut down as well. Somehow the beer distributor down the street is still open however...

Me & K (boyfriend) haven’t gone nuts with preparations, but we did have 1 significant shopping trip before the state officially began recommending social distancing. We got enough non-perishables for several weeks. We’ve made a couple mini trips for things like milk & fresh veggies. 

I also have a few immunocompromised friends who I’ve gone shopping for. I expect to continue doing so as needed. One such friend has a bitch of a rare disease which is frankly on the verge of killing her if she sneezes or coughs too hard. There is so, so much more to it than that, than I dare go into here for privacy reasons but I have spent the last month as one of her actual medical advocates. She is partly the reason I would like to focus my education and eventual clinical research on rare diseases such as hers. Anyhow, despite it being flat out unsafe, she was discharged from the hospital yesterday as my city prepares to get slammed with covid-19 cases.

Both my cats got a stomach bug just 2 days into self-quarantine. It began with Crowley puking, then what looked like bloody emesis & trip to the emergency vet. Sent home with stomach meds & instructions for supportive care before jumping into more than basic testing. He was fine within 36 hours, just in time for Aziraphale to become a little vom-bomb. This lasted for 3 days, with many debates as to when we should finally get her poor little fuzz butt medical attention. She thankfully healed on her own, just as I was about to break down & take her to the vet.

Not to make light of the fact that they were sick, but Zira’s throw-up noise is THE FUNNIEST sound I’ve ever heard in my life. It begins with that usual choppy but also deep guttural *hork hork hork* followed by a very abrupt & very loud  scream “rrRAAHH!” as things made their way up & out. I couldn’t help but kinda lose my shit as I pet her & cleaned up the mess. I’m probably going to hell for this.

Me & K have enjoyed spending more time together during quarantine. We have only had 3 friends over since, all being of our regular weekly crew of Sarah, Greg, & Amanda, & all of who are otherwise self-quarantined. Sarah & Amanda came over last Saturday, Sarah made “Quarantinis,” a goddamn delicious cocktail of vodka, lemon, honey, & crystalized ginger. Us girls & K got quaran-trashed, ate dinner together, played Cards Against Humanity, & watched Waking Ned Devine.

We have been making the FUCK outta some food. This is easily the healthiest we’ve eaten in a long time. Thank God we both can cook.

The weather has been fairly forgiving & the two of us have made efforts to get outside as much as possible while it’s nice. K works from home with some good flexibility & I was fired about a month before corona shit hit the fan. We’re enjoying the local parklette & the humongous cemetery in walking distance from us. 

Yesterday was mostly blustery & rainy, save for a 2 hour break in the weather where it was sunny and around 70 degrees. We trekked through said cemetery. As we were on our way out, we rounded the bend of one of the long paths, along the side of a large grassy hill. From that initial perspective of the hill, there was a large pile of indiscernible objects about halfway up the hill. As we came around, we noticed the pile was next to a grave very freshly covered in dirt. Upon closer inspection it became apparent that the “pile” was actually a man wrapped in blankets, with one arm stretched over the dirt of the grave. On the road at the bottom of the hill was what I assumed to be his car. I don’t know who he was, I don’t know who he lost, but they’re burned into my memory forever. It was one of those sights that breaks your entire heart. I cried a little & held K’s hand a little tighter as we made our way toward the gate. K kissed the top of my head & gave me a loving squeeze.

 I didn’t get fired over anything serious; my chronic migraines plus a personal failure to obtain intermittent FMLA in a timely manner resulted in termination. My bosses didn’t want to let me go, but you can only fight HR of a corporate health system so much. Oh well. I wasn’t happy there anymore anyway. After 3 years I was bored, having trained up as much as possible without my degree. Some toxic personalities made their way onto our floor staff in the last year which made some shifts absolute hell despite my efforts to avoid them & remain utterly professional. Aside from running out of money, I’ve been incredibly relaxed since being let go. I’ve even lost 4 pounds in the last month. My hair is currently a weird ginger-pink, the result of a failed self bleach job, but it’s not entirely embarrassing so I’m going to let it recover before I try it again & go teal.

I never got around to watching Breaking Bad when it was popular, but last night I finally saw the first episode. K has seen it before, it’s one of his favorite tv shows & he’s ecstatic to watch it together. One episode legit got me hooked already. I know the premise of the show & I can’t wait to see how it pans out.

The political fuckery around this has been.... ugh. I wanted to say “staggeringly defunct” but what else is there to be expected from this current administration? I have designed most of my tumblr to be apolitical but that will change with these specific entries. I’m politically outspoken on Facebook & Twitter & I wanted one or two platforms that could just be fun and neutral. My current politics are very leftist, a head-spinning 180 degree turn from my upbringing & early voting habits. The last four years have sent me purposefully, intentionally & determinedly headlong into the progressive movement, feminism, and hunger for democratic socialism. The only conservative thing left about me is my stubborn remaining infatuation with firearms & gratitude for the 2A. Counterintuitively I’m very pro-sensible gun control, but having the discussion with either side of the issue mostly leaves me wanting to knock heads together. 

I digress, the administration’s response to the pandemic has been unsurprisingly subpar, yet somehow not as awful as I expected. Trump went from “not a big deal” & “liberal media hoax” to “oh shit, I actually better get my shit together for this” real quick. I don’t know if it’s because it’s an election year or if there’s actually a shred of competency that’s been hiding under the comb-over but I’ll take what we can get from him, including that $1000 check. Getting unemployment has been a bitch. None of this however, changes the fact that Republicans have known about the crisis since December & instead of preparing the public, decided insider trading was a better idea. This doesn’t change the fact that the DOJ is trying to invoke indefinite detention as a “crisis response” and the only thing standing in the way are House Democrats. And it doesn’t change the fact that our hospital system is overloaded & underfunded, and the Republican controlled government would still rather bail out large corporations as we plunge into an inevitable recession. 

I’ve spent too much energy fighting ignorant shit sticks on the internet over all this, including people I know in real life. I gotta keep remembering that all I can do is my best, that you can’t change the world but you can make a dent. On that note, I finally introduced K to Danny DeVito’s cinematic masterpiece Death To Smoochy.

Today I finished reading Darker Than Amber by John D. MacDonald. Quick, fun read, definitely a product of it's time.

That’s all I have in me for today. My neck hurts. Sleep sweet and WASH YOUR FILTHY PAWS. 

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Four

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

September 13th, 2000

Remy looked around the campus he was on with a sigh. He really didn’t know why he was doing this. College just seemed like one of those things you did just because; it wasn’t like he was going to get a job just because he had a degree. But here he was, at his parents’ insistence.

He was sipping his coffee on a park bench, watching the leaves on the trees. He had some time before his next class, and it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. “Pretty, isn’t it?” a man asked from behind him.

Turning, Remy found a man with a curly mop of red hair and bright green eyes. “Yeah, I suppose,” he said, looking back at the leaves.

The man sat down next to him with a smile. “My name’s Emile,” he said.

Remy offered his hand. “Remy.”

“Nice to meet you, Remy,” Emile said. “Mind me asking why you look so down in the dumps?”

January 10th, 2019

It was Remy’s turn to stay home and look after Roman, which he figured was a fancy way of Emile telling him he couldn’t skip out on his clients again. Getting Roman into the local school system was proving to be difficult experience, and in the meantime Roman was staying home, just getting accustomed to his new house.

Emile and Remy had gotten the paternity test sent out, now they were waiting for the results. But just in case, they were also applying to be foster parents, because there were some “what if”s that left Emile insisting that they couldn’t risk Roman being taken away and sent back to wherever he had been. Remy had agreed, much to Emile’s visible relief.

But now, he and Roman were sitting in the living room, Roman reading a book while Remy worked on his laptop, making sure all his t’s were crossed and i’s were dotted. All they needed was the home inspections and interviews and they would be allowed to foster, just in case Roman wasn’t actually Emile’s.

The home phone rang and Remy sighed, getting up to answer it. “Picani residence,” he sang into the receiver.

“Remy, it’s Sarah,” the woman on the other end of the line said. “Listen, are you still applying for being foster parents?”

“Uh, yeah,” Remy said, feeling Roman’s eyes on him. “Why?”

“I may have a child who needs to be placed, and she...he says that he isn’t his dad’s biological kid. I ran the sperm donor’s name past some people, and I just got the results back from official channel’s. The donor is Emile.”

Remy was stunned. “There’s another little Picani running around?”

“Technically his last name is Gaines, but yes,” Sarah said. “Listen, he’s a bit of a special case. His parents kicked him out for being transgender. We’re trying to get him placed soon so he doesn’t have to keep sleeping in his best friend’s house, but if you guys have room, and don’t mind...I could speed up the process of getting you guys accepted and get him in your home.”

“Yeah, I say do it,” Remy said. “I’ll have to talk to Emile, of course, but I doubt he’ll say no.”

“Thank you,” Sarah breathed. “We’ve been trying to place him for three and a half months. No one wants a transgender teen and he refuses to be put back in the closet just to have a home to rest in when he’s sleeping under the roof of people who respect him.”

“We’ll respect him here,” Remy said. “Without a doubt. I’ll let Emile know ASAP, and I’ll talk to Roman about it too, because this does concern him.”

“I swear, Remy, you and Emile are godsends,” Sarah laughed. “And I don’t just mean because you give me my coffee fix.”

Remy laughed. “It’s not a problem, Sarah. Is that everything for now?”

“Yup, that’s all I wanted to say,” Sarah confirmed. “Thank you again. See you in the shop.”

“You got it,” Remy said, hanging up.

“Who was that?” Roman asked.

“My friend Sarah, who’s helping us adopt you,” Remy said. “Apparently, there’s another kid out there who could use a roof over his head, and Sarah was asking if we could help out. As long as you’re okay with it, and Emile’s okay with it, you’ll be having a brother.”

“A brother?” Roman asked, disbelief in his tone. “I’ve never had a brother before.”

Remy shrugged. “Well, this could be your chance. And from the sound of it, he’s old enough that he won’t need much looking after, so Emile’s and my attention won’t be split between you and him as much.”

“You wouldn’t...have me take care of him, right?” Roman asked, posture becoming guarded. “If he was that young and needed taking care of?”

“Not unless you volunteered it,” Remy said easily. “I don’t believe in making older kids raise their younger siblings. If you wanted to help here and there, it’d be fine. But Emile and I would never force you to do that.”

“Good,” Roman said, relaxing and returning to his book.

Remy made a mental note of that reaction. Wherever Roman had come from, it was clear he had been forced to work for someone. If not with child-rearing, then other household chores that weren’t suited for a child his age. He didn’t like the thought of what that meant. He knew Emile didn’t want him pushing Roman about his past, but Remy was worried in his own way. “Any specific reason you were worried about that?”

Roman looked up again and briefly looked like a deer caught in headlights, before he flushed. “It’s just...uh...I read a lot about stuff like that in fairy tales. And I know that sometimes my friends would have to do stuff like that too, even if they didn’t want to. That’s just kinda...how I thought siblings were, for the most part.”

Remy knew that was a lie, and no doubt Roman knew Remy’s thoughts on the matter. “Remember, Roman, Emile and I won’t be mad at you no matter if you did something wrong or not, if you tell the truth.”

Roman flinched minutely and nodded. “I know,” he said softly. “But this...this isn’t something I want to talk about, okay?”

Remy inwardly sighed. The kid had been through so much, he shouldn’t have to deal with this on his own. But, he supposed, they’d have to make sure that Roman knew he could ask for help processing whatever he needed to process, no matter how far along he was with it. “Okay. But if you ever do want, or need, to talk about it, Emile and I are here. Understand?”

Roman nodded. “Yes, sir. And...I can’t thank you enough for being here for me.”

“Believe me, Roman, when I say it’s our pleasure. Both mine and Emile’s,” Remy said with a smile.

Roman grinned briefly before switching the topic of conversation. “So this new kid. Do you know anything about him?”

“Not much,” Remy admitted. “Just that he’s transgender.”

Roman cocked his head to the side and Remy realized he had to do some explaining sooner rather than later, to avoid Roman traumatizing the new kid accidentally. “What’s transgender mean?” he asked.

“It means that someone isn’t the gender they were assigned at birth,” Remy said.

“You’re assigned a gender at birth?” Roman asked.

Remy sighed. “Well, yeah. The doctors look at your...privates, and based on that they’ll say ‘It’s a boy’ or ‘It’s a girl’ and put you in blue or pink respectively. That’s how they generally do it, anyway. But sometimes the gender you were assigned at birth isn’t the right one. And if that’s the case, then you’re considered transgender.”

Then came a question that made Remy cringe. “So...he was born a girl?”

“Not exactly,” Remy said. “He’s always been a boy, it’s just that for a while, everyone saw him as a girl. Maybe he didn’t know he was a boy. But that didn’t make him any less of a boy. Do you understand?”

Roman frowned in thought. “I...think so. Is there anything that I shouldn’t say to him?”

“Aside from the obvious of not calling him a girl, that differs from person to person,” Remy explained. “He might welcome questions about being transgender, or he might not want to talk about it. He might ask you to use different pronouns around different people, if he isn’t ‘out’ yet. You can ask what he’s comfortable with. But if he asks you to back off, you do, no questions asked, got it?”

“Got it,” Roman agreed with a nod. “Do you know when he’s coming over?”

“Not yet,” Remy said. “I still need to talk this over with Emile, and we need to officially register as foster parents, but it should be soon. And the two of you can have separate rooms. We won’t ask you to share if we don’t have to.”

Roman sagged with relief, and Remy filed that reaction away for later too. “In the meantime, I think we should prepare you for the placement test,” he said.

With a groan, Roman lolled his head back into the couch. “But I know almost everything in there!” he protested. “I might be in some remedial classes, but I know they’ll put me in the seventh grade!”

“That may be, but Emile said he wanted you to study, so you have to study. Just for an hour, okay? After that, you can keep reading fairy tales, or do whatever else you might want to do,” Remy replied.

“Fine,” Roman sighed. “But I don’t like it.”

“I don’t know many people who liked school at your age, Roman,” Remy laughed. “It’s not gonna be fun, but it’s necessary. At least until you’re sixteen.”

“Why sixteen?” Roman asked.

“That’s the legal age when you can drop out of school,” Remy explained. “If, by sixteen, you want to find a job and not do school anymore, you can try your hand at that. Although Emile and I would both encourage you to at least get a GED, which is the equivalent of a high school diploma. Those things open many doors.”

“Did you finish high school?” Roman asked, leaving the couch in favor of the kitchen, where the study materials were.

“That I did. However, I dropped out of college. I felt that they had taught me all they could teach me about business, so I went to a coffee shop, became a barista, and saved up the money I’d need to buy my own store. I was lucky in the sense that there weren’t any niche coffee shops by Main Street, yet. I was the first, and people who were looking for something new came flooding to me. And thanks to my experience as a barista, knowing what worked and what didn’t, they kept coming back for more,” Remy said. “Not a half-bad origin story, is what Emile tells me.”

Roman grinned and Remy smiled back. “You think you can study on your own or do I have to stay here and make sure you do the problems?”

“I’ll do it,” Roman said, looking at the books and sighing. “I’m not looking forward to it, though.”

Remy hummed. “Well, tell you what. If you finish all the problems in that book, and get them all right, I’ll advocate for you to Emile, and argue that you don’t need to study anymore. Of course, that means you have to continue studying if you get even one wrong.”

“I can do that!” Roman exclaimed, opening the book and immediately starting to read.

Remy smiled and left the room, grabbing his phone and sending a text to Emile: Sarah called about a possible foster kid, call me when you can

He didn’t expect an immediate reply, but he got a call just seconds later. “Emile? Don’t you have a patient?”

“This is my free hour of the day which I use to work on insurance claims. This is a welcome distraction. You said something about another kid?” Emile prompted.

“Yeah. Apparently you’re a transgender boy’s father, and the poor kid was kicked out of his home over being trans. Sarah was willing to speed up the fostering process if we take the kid in,” Remy explained.

“Well, that’s a no-brainer. We’ll take him in,” Emile said. “That is, if you and Roman are okay with it?”

“Yeah, Roman’s good with it as long as he’s not in charge of child-rearing, and I’ve never actively wanted kids, but they’re not horrible beasts who I hate. It’s nice to be able to help them,” Remy said. “And I explained what transgender means to Roman, so hopefully the new kid won’t run away screaming.”

“Let’s hope so,” Emile said. “I have to finish these insurance claims, but tell Sarah that I’m in. We’ll help this kid.”

Remy smiled as Roman came over and held the first section of his book out for inspection. “Sounds perfect,” he said.

[mightylauren]

Avengers Endgame SPOILER FILLED Thoughtstream

Pretty much a blow by blow reaction stream straight from my mind in list form of the entire movie from beginning to end. Clearly full of spoilers so it’s below the cut and tagged to death. There’s some all caps screaming. A few keyboard smashes. A fair amount of cussing. Probably a fair amount of typos as I typed this while totally not rewatching it in the comfort of my home. 

Totally not.

I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this but it was all festering in my mind and now it’s out. 

SERIOUSLY I SPOIL LIKE EVERYTHING BELOW THE CUT DON’T CLICK IT UNLESS YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO SEE IT.

Who put’s mayo on a hotdog?

Oh man hawks didn’t even see it happen nooo. I knew we were opening with Barton family dusting but ouch.

Tony calling Nebula the blue meanie!

Nebula refusing the last of the food and making Tony eat it makes me love her even more. 

Tony somehow keeps his sense of humor even in the face of death. God I love him. I know he’s gonna make it off this ship.

HA, that Internet joke about Carol showing up right after the trailer scene is true. That’s hilarious.

They never explain how Carol knew to look for them, but I’m going to guess she came to earth ala the scene after Captain Marvel and then went back out to see if she could find him.

Or she got REALLY lucky

I’m unclear does Nebula need oxygen and food? Or just significantly less than a full on human? She seems much better off than him.

Steve shaving did we miss seeing the beard one last time by like seconds? rude.

OMG Rocket sitting down and taking Nebula’s hand. The last of their family. Everyone else gone. My heart is aching.

23 days so we’re less than a month past Vanishing Day

Ha Tony calling Rocket Build a Bear is my first genuine laugh this movie.

I honestly was dying on the inside the whole time Tony is losing his shit on Cap. I mean he needed to say it all but seeing how sick he is and falling apart. He rips off his reactor and hands it over then collapses.

My heart.

Rhodey man. “That’s cute, Thanos has a retirement plan.”

Man this is the least planning they’ve ever done before a mission. They’re just gonna pack up, hop in a space ship and go kill Thanos? Cool. Coolcoolcool.

Okay it’s pretty good to see a lot of that trailer stuff is from very early on in the movie.

“Who here hasn’t been to space? You better not throw up on my ship.” XD

How does this big ass planet that can clearly sustain life have no life on it? Just Thanos some birds and some Meiloorun fruit?

That’s a Star Wars reference for those of you who don’t cross fandom lines.

So his snapping arm looks completely borked.

OH SHIT THEY CAME IN SWINGING

FUCK THOR CHOPPED OFF HIS ARM DAMN

ASDFKSAJDOFIUA THE STONES ARE GONE

Wait why is Banner still not Hulking out? How is that suit still running?

Damn he destroyed the stones. He knew they’d come.

DAMN THOR WENT IN HARD.

We are like twenty minutes in and Thanos is dead? I… what?

*crumples up and throws away all predictions she had before going into the movie

FIVE YEARS LATER?!?

FIVE

FIVE YEARS

I should have brought a paper bag to breath into.

Okay there’s the support group. Yup a lot of the footage from trailers and stuff is front loaded at the beginning of this. Which is good, because no clue where this is genuinely going.

Did… did a rat just bring Ant-Man back? A rat?

Shit how long has it been for him?

Oh wait, he’s looking for his people maybe not that long.

P-professor Chang?

Can you imagine how disorienting this all is for Scott? Pops out five years after a tragedy like the snap with no idea what the hell is happening.

My sister literally turned to me and said “no trash service but they built a monument?”

Valid question. Very valid. 

OMG CASSIE IS ALL GROWN UP I CAN’T.

I don’t think he fully realized how much time had passed until he saw his daughter.

“You’re so big” just made me tear up a little.

I just had a baby daughter four months ago. So I’m trying not to imagine what it would be like to vanish along with a bunch of other people and then turn back up five years later.

CAROL’S HAIR.

I’m sorry some of this is probably going to be completely incomprehensible unless you’ve seen the movie it just needs venting.

I am liking that they’re all reporting to Nat. That Rocket and Nebula are clearly teamed up.

OMG rocket made a joke about the haircut and Carol called him Fur Face

In case you didn’t know I have a ridiculous love for Rocket so I’m just glad he’s got a support system right now with almost the entirety of his found family dusted.

Capt. Marvel is basically saying she’s out for most of this movie isn’t she? I guess that makes sense she’s OP as hell.

Rhodey is tracking Clint but reluctantly. Clint’s clearly gone off the deepens a bit. Vigilante. Nat isn’t taking it well. Oh no she’s crying. 

This movie is gonna kill me.

I’m trying to imagine seeing a pod of whales in the Hudson River and I can’t imagine it. 

Okay so I’m guessing Scott’s about to turn up covering another major point from the early trailers. Yes yes yes. This is good.

Nat explaining that the Avengers gave her a family and a life and made her feel like she was a better person. Oh girl. You’ve done enough. It’s okay.

HA THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES ARE PRICELESS

Scott doesn’t know science. He’s trying so hard. We need the Science Bros. Where are they?

FIVE HOURS

FIVE FUCKING HOURS?

HE WAS IN FOR FIVE HOURS AND LOST FIVE YEARS????

“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon so nothing seems crazy anymore.” LFAO

Tony has a daughter I’m dying. It had to be a little girl. 

Wait is he serious about eating crickets on lettuce? He might be this is semi post-apocalyptic.

Tony does not look happy to see them.

YES LET’S PULL A TIME HEIST. Tony isn’t feeling this but I am.

Oh, Scott, honey. Back to the Future? 

Though Tony your protege Peter used movies to make plans all the time. Maybe it’s not that laughable.

Okay I would die for his daughter. “Mommy sent me out here to save you.” Don’t think you were supposed to just say that outloud kiddo but props on a successful mission.

I know Tony too well for this. He’s saying no, because he loves his family. He needs his family. He’s scared to lose his family.

But now this idea is going to itch at the back of his brain aching to be solved.

Come on Tony lets go back to the future and pull off a time heist.

Hulk in glasses and a sweater is was not even on my theory bingo card what is happening. Is this his diner? They had to find him so he’s clearly not working for Nat right now. I have so many questions.

This whole thing with the kids is awkward. 

Come to think of it I have questions about how the infrastructure that is supporting things like cell phone networks is still functioning after the vanishing. Maybe because it’s been five years.

Is Nat flirting with Banner to get him to help?

Tony looking at a picture of Peter he’s got to try.

OH MY GOD HE GOT IT IN ONE EVENING.

EVEN HE LOOKS SURPRISED.

SHIT! 

I’m glad there is laughter in this movie and it’s not entirely heavy. I mean it’s Marvel I should have known.

He calls his daughter Little Miss. And she just extorted a juice pop out of him. I love Dad Tony. 

This is gonna hurt later I just know it. I can feel it in my gut.

“I love you 3000” My heart.

I’m glad that Tony is just going to have a straight up honest conversation with his wife about this.

He’s grown so much.

Oh Pepper, she’s telling him to do it. There’s some unsaid deep communication happening in this conversation. Bless this pair so much. She’s going to let him go and he’s going to go even though his gut his telling him that the road is not going to end well for him.

That’s why he wants to put it in a lock box and drop it to the bottom of a lake.

This is just so damn good so far. No complaints yet.

I kind of love this Hulk. He has no idea what he’s doing here but I love him. He’s like only half taking this seriously.

BAHAHAHA THIS TEST. HE comes back as a baby and Hulk is like “He’ll grow” I mean he’s not wrong but not the right answer buddy.

Another genuinely funny scene. 

“TIME TRAVEL!” With his hulk arms held wide.

Tony is literally speeding in his car there. Cap doesn’t even look that surprised.

Oh this is the Tony and Steve getting back on the same page moment I’ve been waiting for. I love it. I really love it.

HE BROUGHT THE SHIELD.

I love that it was in the trunk buried under kids stuff.

Tony is back and I love it even if I’m scared it’s gonna mean his end.

“Rhodey, careful on reentry theres an idiot in the landing zone.” As if I couldn’t love Nebula more in this movie.

Wait “New Asgard Please Drive Slowly” just threw me for a total loop. Good to know all the Asgardians didn’t actually die in that ship.

VALKYRIE!!!!

She’s like not acknowledging the Raccoon LMFAO

Holy hell what is happening here. Oh man Thor what have you done to yourself.

Actually, I get it. 

Are they playing Fortnite? 

This whole scene is super surreal right now. 

I actually kinda dig it but I did NOT see it coming. This movie has gone places I never would have predicted.

Thor kept strong for so long. He lost so much. He got all the way to the point where he’d done all he could think. He killed Thanos and there was no way to undo all that could be done so he just settled and existed. He drank and played video games with his buddies.

I get it.

Rocket just lured him onto the ship with beer. 

Was good to see Korg and Miek are alive. And there for them in their own ways.

RONIN ALERT.

Oh dude he’s just fucking people up does he even have a bow with him?

Nat waited until there was some way to undo the snap before reaching out to him. She’s just been silently tracking him waiting for a good reason to bring him in. 

In a matter of seconds Tony calls Thor “Lebowski” and Rocket “Ratchet” and I have always lived for his dumbass nicknames. 

Lebowski Thor is officially what I’m referring to this iteration of Thor.

Oh look a classic time travel trope a limit in the number of trips they can make. Makes sense though, Hank Pym was always very protective of how to make the particles so they only have what was made before the Vanishing.

I love the team debating how time travel really works. Listing all the time travel movies. Bill and Ted even snuck into the list. 

Not sure sending Clint back for the test was the best choice this is gonna be rough.

Okay he started to lose it at the end but he made it.

YES brainstorming session this’ll be fun.

Tony’s gentle handling of Thor says a lot. Tony’s been to rock bottom and recognizes the symptoms. At the same time I laughed when he offered breakfast and Thor said no he wanted a Bloody Mary.

ROCKET CALLING SCOTT AN EXCITED PUPPY BAHAHAHA

Nebula is so dramatic I’m here for it. 

Laying all over the desk brainstorming for Nat to finally figure out that there are three stones in one place at one time. This is the content I came for.

TIME HEIST LETS GO.

And just like that its 2012 this is surreal.

LMFAO HULK DOESN’T WANT TO SMASH.

Interesting seeing what the Ancient One was doing during the battle of New York. On a roof defending the sanctum from Chitauri.

OH SHIT SHE JUST PUSHED BANNER’S SOUL OUTA HIS HULK BODY

I didn’t see that coming.

Just a glimpse of Loki. :-(

It was almost cruel to send Thor to Asgard to do this. I mean someone had to go with Rocket, but damn this is tough to watch.

DAMN Rocket smacked him. And also just called Mantis “the chick with the antenna”. Pep talk’s not bad but Thor is crying I don’t think he can do this.

I don’t know why they want to do it that way anyway, Jane would have taken one look at him and known it was the wrong Thor.

Wait… they’re sending Nat and Clint to Vormir… oh God… oh no…

Okay so that’s going to suck in a few minutes lets just put a pin in that.

Nebula you waited a bit to tell Rhodey that there’s another you out there looking for the same infinity stone you’re there to fetch. 

Oh look its like just barely pre-Guardians Gamora, Nebula, and unfortunately Thanos.

I have a bad feeling about this.

OH SHIT I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

Turns out two Nebula’s in one place is bad voodoo. She’s seeing video from the other Nebula which means THANOS can see video from the other….

Yeah this is all gonna go bad.

HAHAHA Tony just checked out Steve’s ass. 

AMERICA’S ASS!!!

It’s hard to remember that this shit is going to fall apart when I’m laughing.

Tony just flicked Ant-Man to his target and all I can think about is Gimli an “toss me” from LOTR.

Is Cap about to fuck up a bunch of people in the elevator again?

STEVE YOU SNEAKY BASTARD YOU JUST HAIL HYDRA’D AND STOLE THE SCEPTER.

2012 Time heist is about to hit a hiccup isn’t it. OH MAN they just gave Tony a heart attack.

LOKI NO

I mean yes but no. Loki just nicked the Tesseract and dipped with it. 2012 Loki is just gone.

There’s like timeline repercussions there. Not entirely sure what they are but there will be repercussions.

Cap fighting himself! CAP CHECKING OUT HIS OWN ASS!

Man the Time Heist is so rapid fire there’s too much to absorb.

“I’m totally from the future.” - Lebowski Thor breaking a law of time travel

Thor’s heart to heart with his mom is giving me feels. He needed this.

YES MJOLNIR IS COMING WITH HIM!

Ok it’s never occurred to me how ridiculous Quill would look dancing around without the music. That’s hilarious.

AH SHIT THANOS KNOWS AND HE’S THERE AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOES TO SHIT.

NEBULA </3

It’s so good seeing Steve and Tony back on the same page trusting each other. And clearly completely throwing Scott “Piss-Ant” Lang for a loop. 

I didn’t expect a detour to the 70’s. AAAND that’s his Dad. Tony’s just run into his own father. 

This movie is a roller coaster I’ll tell ya.

This is all mush if you’ve read this far you deserve an award. Or a sticker. One of those.

What a weird decision to have Tony have this whole meet up with his father here. And now Steve is taking refuge in Peggy’s office. Like this is almost mean to do this to these two. 

Why is it the Russo’s never could decide if Steve had gotten over Peggy or not gotten over Peggy. Back and forth and back again. I take it we aren’t going to see the niece at all in this one?

Alright boys lets get the hell out of the 70s this felt like a weird trip without the drugs.

Damn Nebula why is past you such a bitch when I love present you so much. I know I know that’s because you grew and what not but shit I don’t know what you and Thanos are about to do but it’s about to suck.

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT VORMIR BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON

I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want either of them to die. This sucks. No No no no onoanfnaondaksldfj;lasdkja;

God we’re going to have to literally watch them fight over which one is going to sacrifice themself.

Here it is, I’m crying now. Me and Barton are just going to cry here in this puddle if you need us. 

They’re all back, except Nat. Which means that’s the wrong damn Nebula and no one notices because NO NAT. Shit. Shit shit.

This movie is going to give me a heart attack.

“Did she have any family?” “Yeah. Us.” :’-(

Okay Thanos like fucked up a whole mining community and shut down a star afterwards to forge a gauntlet to put the stones in and here’s Tony Stark plopping them into like an Iron Man armor piece like its nothing.

Looks sleek too. I dig it.

And they’re all too busy with the glove to notice fucking Nebula. SHIT. 

Man it’s hurting Hulk just to WEAR the damn thing. Thanos was just strolling around wearing it, which doesn’t bode well considering I see Nebula is bringing Thanos here. 

Cool. That’s cool. This is fine. 

How long of a moment of joy are they going to get. Clint’s wife is calling. Birds are singing. Shit is inches from a fan.

THERE’S THE SHIT. HOLY SHIT HE’S BLOWING AVENGERS HQ COMPLETELY OFF THE MAP NOOOOOOO

There’s like a whole hour left. Tell me they all survived that. I was not ready. I WAS NOT READY.

Oh here’s that shot of Hawkeye in the tunnel. Much later in the movie than a lot of those trailer shots. Fascinating. 

So 2014 Thanos is here with his whole crew and there’s a complete gauntlet here. Shit.

Well, they’re all alive. They’re not together entirely but they’re all alive.

Double wielding dad bod Thor just braided his beard with lightning and I’m here for it.

The stakes are at maximum. Now Thanos wants to destroy it all not just half. So failure here can never be undone there won’t be anyone to Avenge anything if he gets the gauntlet this time. That’s not terrifying at all.

Fuck that’s the wrong Nebula. BUT THERE’S THE RIGHT NEBULA WITH GAMORA.

Clint is like in the middle of this stand off like “wtf is happening I should have kept my hands on the glove”

Nebula just killed her own past self. And she didn’t vanish so no Back to the Future rules here for sure.

Damn Thanos is giving the boys a run for their money even without a single stone. 

Shit is Thor gonna die?

HOLY SHIT CAP HAS THE HAMMER AND THE THEATER JUST MIGHT EXPLODE FROM THE SOUNDS OF THE AUDIENCE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.

Damnit Thanos is calling in the whole army. Cap is like the last one standing on the front line and he’s not backing down because he’s Captain “America’s Ass” America. Thor is down Iron Man is down. The others are trying not to drown. Shit.

OMG ON YOUR LEFT I JUST MIGHT CRY.

HOLY SHIT ITS EVERYONE I’M CRYING. 

PEPPER FUCKING POTTS IS HERE AS RESCUE HOLY SHIT.

TALK ABOUT THE CALVARY RIDING IN AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND HOLY HELL.

HE’S GONNA FUCKING SAY IT

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

It’s a good thing they sound proof these theaters now or you’d hear this across town the audience is going fucking nuts.

There’s too much to touch on all this chaos I’ll hit the highlights because it’s so much.

Pepper and Tony fighting back to back.

Thor and Steve switching weapons, Thor telling him to keep “the little one” aka Mjolnir.

Tony and Peter reuniting and the hug.

Quill seeing Gamora and it’s the wrong Gamora and actually that broke my heart a little bit because his Gamora is gone forever.

Playing hot potato with the gauntlet.

Scarlet Witch fucking Thanos up to the point he panics and starts firing on his own troops to get her off of him.

Spider getting the gauntlet and for the first time ever activating instant kill on purpose.

Peter becoming the hot potato along with the Gauntlet.

OMG ROCKET FOUND GROOT AND HE’S BODILY BLOCKING HIM FROM FIRE MY HEART.

When the ships started firing up my sister elbowed me and legit was like “She’s here.” 

All the women assembling around Captain Marvel!! Even Gamora is with them holy shit!

Damn it the glove is back within his reach and I can’t with this. 

GET HIM CAROL DON’T LET HIM DO IT AGAIN.

She took a headbutt to the face like it was nothing and he panicked like a bitch pulled the power stone and punched her with it. 

OH MY GOD TONY

My sister silently handed me a tissue and I fell the fuck apart.

I never thought in a million years they would have it go this way. Tony snapping. Dusting Thanos and his army. 

I can’t even comment more on this scene I’m too sad. Everything after is too sad. The funeral.

There are infinity stone colored stones in the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” setting. 

I love you 3000 Tony Stark.

Thor leaving Valkyrie in charge and heading off with the Guardians.

Quill clearly looking for new old Gamora. I doubt she was dusted so she must have just faded away after the battle to do her own thing.

Glad that Nebula is with them though.

I feel a loose beginning set up for the actual Asgardians of the Galaxy.

Bucky said goodbye to Cap like he knew Cap wasn’t going to be back with them in five seconds. He knew.

We’re lucky he didn’t come back as a baby though. ;-)

I mean I’m surprised they went this route with Cap but I’m happy for him.

I’m happy for Sam too. We knew at the end of this the mantel had to get passed and here it is, old man Steve passing the shield to Sam.

I bet that show about “Falcon” and Bucky is really about the new Captain America and Bucky. Just saying.

Steggy shippers rejoice and the cries of a million Stony and Stucky shippers can be heard round the world.

Is that a sentence I just wrote? I never got into MCU shipping stuff personally.

And then all there is at the end is the distant sound of Tony forging that first armor.

A reminder that Tony Stark built all this in a cave.

From a box of scraps.

TONY….

I’ll be mourning Tony for a long while. I was always team Tony.

They did him right tough. His arc was satisfying and RDJ performed beautifully in this one.

My heart aches. They had to give him a daughter. I’m watching my daughter sleep totally not thinking what it would be like for her to lose her father. 

I’m gonna go hug my partner when I’m done with this.

Over all I am happy with Endgame. I mean with time travel they obviously left loose ends all over.

They say they can’t change time and the whole present becoming your past when you go back while the past is your future blah blah blah

But like clearly things are changed. 2012 Loki got the tesseract and escaped

2014 Thanos is no longer in 2014. So the Guardians movies happened but also couldn’t have happened? I dunno it’s confusing.

So basically the MCU has finally caught up with it’s comic book roots of being a confusing jumble timelines. How poetic.

Anyway if you read this you are amazing and feel free to private message me if you want to scream about Avengers Endgame and have no one else to do it with.

I feel better having vented this all out.

[lambroseforlife]

High school lambrose

Since this suggestion said “high school” and not “secondary”, I’m just assuming that anon wanted this to take place somewhere in North America during a modern time period since there technically was no existence of “high school” in the 1800s.

— — —

“Ahhh.” Lilly exhaled in relief when the car’s engine shut off, parked at its destination. She stretched out her limbs, propping her feet on top of the dashboard, her battered black Converse high tops nearly scuffing the front window.

From her left, she felt a frosty glare burrow into her tanned legs, exposed by the pair of shorts she was wearing. A moment of cold silence passed before an equally icy tone filled the small space of the car — in her opinion, far more effective than the air conditioning system.

“Feet. Off. Now.”

“Alright, alright.” Lilly grumbled, complying at the command. She turned expectantly to the driver sitting next to her.

The car may have been a used one, but was recently purchased as a present to him from his parents shortly after he had passed the driving test and received his license. Their insistence to him that it was both a privilege and a responsibility to have a car was one that he held remarkably to utmost seriousness.

His sea-colored eyes reflected annoyance as he reached over in front of her to open the glovebox, pulling out a white cloth and rubbing at the area on the dashboard where her shoes had been. She glared at him.

“Oh, come on! I just threw these in the laundry last week.” She protested, gesturing to her high tops.

He cast a distasteful glance downwards at her feet, clearly unconvinced at the sight of the faded, worn-down shoes before vigorously wiping down the dashboard for a few more seconds. He returned the cloth back to the glovebox and closed it, still not saying anything.

Lilly sighed. “Rick, live a little. We’re supposed to be celebrating.”

He finally broke the silence, raising a black eyebrow. “Celebrating what?”

“You know, finishing high school? Surviving eight torturous hours of classes five days a week for the past four years?”

“Technically, we still haven’t received our diplomas yet. Nor do we know our final grades for this semester.” He pointed out coolly.

“Don’t be a buzzkill. Graduation is tomorrow and I bet you aced all your exams like usual. I’ll eat my shoes otherwise.”

He snorted. “Very well, celebration it is then. Is that why you didn’t want to go home yet?”

“Yep.” She chirped. She opened the car door and stepped out, with Rick following suit. 

They had just departed from an outing with the rest of their friends at the town’s local diner. The place had been packed, with many of their other classmates there as well to feast for the occasion. To say the least, the diner would have stellar business for the night but also one hell of a cleanup job afterwards. Lilly decided she had socialized enough once the noise level had reached to a peak, enough to be headache-inducing. After promising to meet up with their group before and after tomorrow’s ceremony, both she and Rick had left since he was her ride for the evening. Once they sat in his car, she told him that she wanted to make a quick stop at a particular place. He was surprised but nonetheless, silently obliged.

A gust of hot air blew in her face when she closed the car door. Grumbling, she pulled her hair back into a short ponytail using the hair tie around her wrist in a vain attempt to mitigate the frizz from the summer weather. Lilly could already feel the heat clinging to her skin and hear the mosquitos buzzing about in the humid air. She was thankful that she had remembered last minute to spray on repellant before leaving the house.

Rick locked the car before falling in step beside her. They said nothing as they trekked a short distance through the grass, finally sitting side-by-side on a concrete bench directly under a lamppost.

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his dark track pants, speaking up. 

“So…” Rick began. “Any particular reason you wanted come here?”

“Kinda.” A deep crease settled by the corner of her frown while her nose scrunched. He recognized it as the expression she wore whenever she was lost in thought.

She continued. “I wanted to have some time to think among all this…craziness.”

He waited for her to elaborate.

“I dunno. It just feels like everything happened so suddenly, you know? First it was college applications, then semester exams, then waiting on college acceptances, then club activities and dances, and then even more exams. Now we’re graduating tomorrow. Like, bam!” She clapped her hands for extra emphasis. “Where did all the time go this year?”

“You’re right.” He spoke quietly. “Things felt hectic.”

“Exactly! And soon we’re all supposed to be going off into the adult world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited. For starters, it’ll be nice not having to ask for permission every time I want to go to the restroom.” She rolled her eyes at the absurd concept. “But still, at the same time I don’t feel ready having to say goodbye to all the friends I made. Meeting new people. Moving to a new environment by myself. Like I’m being thrown into this all at once and I’m so damn sure that I’m going to screw up.”

“Then screw up.”

“What?” She turned her head to glare at him directly. “How could you say that?”

“Look,” he explained calmly. “You’ve made mistakes before and you’re going to make them again. Expecting to not make mistakes is, frankly, rather stupid. What matters is how you use those mistakes. You’re going to meet all kinds of people, ones that you’ll get along with and ones that you won’t. And you being you, you’ll probably make some really dumb decisions along the way too. But also being you, you’ll reflect on that and learn from them. Life would be dull and boring without its challenges.”

She stared at him, her dark brown eyes widened and her mouth slightly ajar.

His voice lowered. “Don’t forget, you’re not alone in all of this. We are in the same boat together and we both will do stupid things in the future. It’s guaranteed to happen. But we are going to the same college and you know you can rely on me whenever you need it. I’ll always have your back, Lilly.”

Her eyes were watery. “Have you considered switching your major to Philosophy instead?” She choked out, leaning forward to pull him in for a hug.

“Tempting, but I’ll pass.” He muttered into her ear as his arms wrapped around her.

Pulling away, the pads of his thumbs wiped at the moisture leaking out of her eyes. “I thought we were supposed to be celebrating?”

She coughed out a laugh, sniffling then hiccupping. “They’re happy tears.”

They sat back to their original positions, settling into a comfortable silence for several minutes.

Lilly raised her legs, bringing her feet on the bench and tucking her knees under her chin. While in her curled position, she stared ahead with her large brown eyes focused in the distance.

“Do you remember when we first met?” She slowly asked.

From the corner of her vision, she could see the teenage boy next to her shoot her an incredulous look.

“All I remember from our kindergarten days was you constantly ruining my finger paintings by smearing your grubby hands all over them.”

“Good times.” One corner of her mouth quirked up in a devilish smirk. “You used to cry for an hour afterwards.”

“I did not.” He scoffed. “Why are you asking me about our first meeting?”

“Because I don’t remember,” she confessed sheepishly. “So I was hoping that you did. But I do remember how we used to always hang out here at the park on weekends.”

He chuckled. “Back when the biggest problems were who got to go down the slide first and use the shovel in the sandbox.” His nodded in the direction of the playground out in the distance.

“Life used to be so much easier back then.” Lilly frowned. “What happened?”

“Like with everything else, time happened.” He simply said.

She pouted. “From the wise words of Einstein, ‘time is an illusion.’”

“Technically it’s freedom that is an illusion, not time.”

She gave him a bland look. “Let’s not argue about this again like last time.”

They settled into comfortable silence once more. A few minutes passed until Lilly spoke up again.

“Rick?” She asked in a small voice, glancing sideways at him.

He met her gaze. “Yes, Lilly?”

“I, um, wanted to thank you. For all that you did for me during our senior year, especially at the beginning. It’s because of you that I’m even able to participate tomorrow.”

He stared at her, perplexed, and she elaborated.

“You know…the dress code incident.”

Sometime during the start of the school year on a particularly warm day, Lilly had worn a red scoop neck blouse that had exposed her collarbone and partially her shoulders. Their widely unpopular school principal, Mr Ellingham, had spotted her during the lunch period and declared that she had violated student conduct for dress code rules. Despite Rick lending her his hoodie to cover up, Lilly had been written up for a two week suspension and sent home, with her privilege to walk at the graduation ceremony revoked. The official reason given had been stated as “insubordination”, but it was obvious to Lilly that Mr Ellingham had never really liked her or her witty disposition from previous disputes — readily using the first available opportunity for his own subjective motivations.

To put it lightly, Rick was livid when he found out what had happened. As vice president of the student council, he had wasted no time in subtly spreading news of the incident. Within two days, the entire school had heard and was in a state of unrest. News had spread within the county and even out of state as well, all thanks to social media. When Rick had also informed his mother, she had taken direct action. As an active member of the school’s parent-teacher association and a distinguished generous patron of the school district, Samantha Genevieve Ambrose had wasted no time in bringing awareness among her extensive social circle, which included those on the town’s council and newspaper staff. 

By the time Lilly’s suspension had ended and she was back in school, Rick had informed her that the school and the district had been on the receiving end for public complaints and anonymous threats for the overly harsh treatment towards an honor roll student with a clean record for no previous incidents of misconduct. A few months later, Mr Ellingham had resigned and had been replaced by Mrs Gibbons, an older, no-nonsense lady with a heart of gold. The new principal had been well-liked by the student body instantly, especially by Lilly for giving her a written formal apology on behalf of the school and clearance to participate in the graduation ceremony.

Understanding dawned on Rick’s face as he recalled the whirlwind of overwhelming events from the year. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I was just doing what any student council member– no, what any person with decent morals would have done.”

“But still…you were the one that spoke up about it first and it means a lot to me. And also just for these past four years in general. I never got to say it properly but I really appreciate everything that you did. How much you looked out for me.”

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Lilly Linton?” He squinted at her suspiciously.

She lightly punched him in the arm. “Don’t ruin the moment, I’m trying to be nice here.”

“Nice? I guess miracles really do happen.”

Her eyes narrowed into slits. “Why are we best friends again?”

“I have no idea.” His face was deadpan but his eyes sparkled with amusement. “You tell me.”

She couldn’t help but to roll her eyes.

“But thank you as well.” He added seriously, with sincerity. “For being by my side during all these years, Lilly.”

She looked at him for a moment then reached over and squeezed his hand, smiling up at him. Letting go, she abruptly stood up.

“Alright, let’s go now. We’ve stayed long enough and the air here is making us both sappy. I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow anyway.”

He rose from the bench and they left the park. They walked back to his car, her arm linked with his.

— — —

Rivulets of sweat trickled down Lilly’s neck as she squinted up at the weathered brick building in front of her. Placing a tanned hand over her eyes to shield from the sun’s harsh glare, she stared wistfully at the familiar black plaque letters above the main entrance 

Empire High School.

She pulled her phone out from her small crossbody purse to glance at the time. 8:43 A.M., the brightly-lit screen displayed. She was early, all of the seniors were supposed to meet in the gymnasium by 9:30 in preparation to go over the ceremony procession order. 

Lilly yawned, casting off any traces of sleepiness as her hand reached out and grabbed the metal handle of the door. It was unexpectedly hot, absorbent of the outside heat. She yelped and flinched, yanking the door open as fast as possible before slipping inside.

A cool gust of air hit her face, and she instinctively closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of the air-conditioned interior of the school. A bittersweet feeling washed over her, knowing that it was the last time she had entered the place as a student. It had been a crucial part of her life for the past four years — with hours spent in the library fussing over chemistry notes, gossip exchanged in passing while going to lockers, lunch periods filled with comically absurd discussions, and after-school meetings reserved for dreaded group projects.

She walked through the maze of empty hallways, frowning when she could not spot another student in sight. She fiddled with the golden graduation cap pinned to her hair and adjusted the matching golden gown draped over her arm.

As she drew closer to the gym’s entrance, she could hear laughter. A turn of the corner and she saw some of her classmates already in their attire, chattering animatedly with their friends and taking pictures. Some of them smiled in greeting and even waved when they noticed her, the dress code incident having made her more well-known among her peers. It was something that had bothered her at earlier in the year until she became used to it with time, learning to automatically smile and wave back.

“There she is!” A voice squealed excitedly.

A second later, something slammed into her. Hard. She wheezed and stumbled back, the breath knocked out of her lungs. She steadied herself, ready to give a piece of her mind to the person that had rudely crashed into her. Looking up, she saw who it was and her glare melted when she recognized the wildly grinning face of Eve Sanders.

She gave Lilly a slow once-over, nodding her head in approval. “Well, well, well. You look amazing if I do say so myself. That dress is gorgeous on you.”

“Thanks.” Lilly glanced down at the burgundy skirt of her dress that flowed to her knees. “The same goes for you too, Eve.” She appraised the small bit of the white floral print dress peeking out from her unzipped graduation gown.

Her two other best friends, Patsy Cusack and Flora Milton emerged into view. They were fully attired in the golden graduation gown, cap and matching tassel assigned to all of the graduating females. Lilly gave them both a hug.

“We have to take pictures.” Flora insisted, taking out her phone. They posed for a few pictures until Eve asked them to wait.

“I have to keep fixing my hair.” She complained, tugging at it. “The humidity outside made it all frizzy.”

“I’m pretty sure the heat melted half of my makeup off already. I bet I can pass for a haunted wax doll after today.” Lilly remarked.

“Ugh. Girls, girls! You’re both pretty. Can I go home now?” Patsy quipped.

Eve and Lilly glared at Patsy.

“Children’s movie quotes? How original.” Lilly sarcastically commented.

It was Patsy’s turn to glare this time, scowling at her.

Lilly turned and spotted an approaching familiar face in the distance. She went up to him.

“May I say,” she said a sickly-sweet tone while fluttering her eyelashes, “that navy blue graduation gown really brings out the color of your eyes?”

Rick’s face turned sour. “You absolutely may not. Speaking of graduation gowns, why aren’t you wearing yours yet?”

She sighed. “It was too hot outside. Don’t you feel it too? You’re wearing two thick layers of dark colors.” She nodded to the hem of his black dress pants peeking out from the bottom of his customary male blue graduation gown that nicely contrasted with her golden one, the two school colors in sync.

“The heat isn’t as bad as you think. You’re just being dramatic.”

“Or you’re obviously a robot.” She mumbled under her breath.

“I heard that.”

A group of classmates approached him and he turned to speak with them. Shaking her head, Lilly headed back to her group of friends, putting on her gown and zipping it up. Together they headed to the gym, forced to separate into clusters based on the first letter of their last name.

What proceeded afterwards could only be described as boring, with her former history teacher, Mr Pearson, attempting to arrange the students in her group alphabetically and droning on in a monotonous tone for “appropriate presentation”.

When they finally filed out of the gym and onto the athletic field an hour later, Lilly felt a short-lived sense of relief which quickly dissipated once she went out into the heat. The sun was unforgiving on all those trapped in its presence, the multitude of floppy hats and waving hand-held paper fans as tell-tale signs within the sea of people seated in plastic folding chairs on the field’s trimmed grass.

The tones cut from a section of Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance ‎March No. 1 played as the typical designated graduation theme song while they stepped onto the grass. The groups of students walked in two separate lines down the center of the two halves of the group of chairs. 

Ten minutes later and Lilly was internally screaming, still standing out in the sweltering sun while her group waited for their turn to be seated. She felt like she was turning into a baked potato from the heat, the square top of her graduation cap not wide enough to provide shade for her face. Under her graduation gown, she could feel her dress plastered to her skin from the sweat and her ears wanted to bleed from hearing the same music played on loop. She had seen Rick enter among the first of students and sit at the first row, as per the alphabetical order of last names.

When she was able to finally enter an empty row of chairs and sit down, she passed the rest of the time waiting for the other seniors to be seated by perusing through the booklet of graduation ceremony agenda, a copy set on each empty chair. The last row of students sat down another thirty minutes later and Lilly let out a sigh, leaning back into her chair as the principal, Mrs Gibbons, opened the ceremony.

The rest of the event passed by without a hitch. Speeches were made by the selected speakers, both graduating seniors and favored faculty members. Heartfelt songs were performed by those from the music club, from their own original compositions. When the time came to bring the seniors forward to individually receive their diplomas, a hush fell through the crowd. The graduating students automatically straightened in their seats, ready for the moment that they had all been waiting for since the start of the year.

They were dismissed by rows, ascending to the stage one by one after their names were announced. When a “Rikkard Ambrose” was called, people cheered for their vice president and Lilly jumped out of her chair, whooping excitedly, earning laughter from those around her. A certain boy, tall and lean with sea-colored eyes, saw her and shook his head in embarrassment as he stepped forward and accepted the embellished proof for something he had worked rigorously to achieve, with the aid of sheer willpower and countless hours of skipped sleep.

When the turn came for her row, she exhaled deeply, squaring her shoulders as she rose. She walked in line with the rest of her classmates to the stage, silently hoping that she wouldn’t awkwardly trip. The stage’s center drew closer and closer with each person in front of her called. Until finally…

“Lillian Linton.”

Lilly felt as if she were in a dream as she stepped forward towards Mrs Gibbons, who held her diploma in an outstretched hand.

Cheering erupted from the crowd, people chanting her name. From her family, from her friends and everyone that had been sympathetic to her plight and supportive to her cause. Lilly couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes as she reached her principal, accepting the diploma and shaking her hand.

“Congratulations. You earned it.” The older lady smiled proudly at her and Lilly beamed back.

She posed for pictures on the side of stage with the other faculty, taken by a professional photographer hired by the school and then descended the stairs onto the grass, heading back to her row and sitting in her seat.

The rest of the procession passed by without a hitch and once the last row of students returned to their seats, Mrs Gibbons spoke to the crowd again.

“Will the graduating class please rise?”

They all did in perfect synchronization, Lilly’s heartbeat hammering furiously in anticipation.

“For the final closing gesture, you all may now move your tassels from right to left as you all have now…officially graduated!”

Thunderous cheering and roaring applause erupted from the crowd of attendees as the now-former students moved their tassels. Someone– Lilly did not know who– threw their graduation cap into the air, and the rest of her former classmates followed suit. Carefully unpinning her cap from her styled hair, she threw hers also– but not very high, as she wished to keep it as a memento.

The crowd began to scatter, as the new graduates wished to reunite with their families and their friends. People were crying and hugging, while others were laughing and cheering together. Lilly turned to head in the direction for her parents and sisters when she spotted a recognizable figure towering above the other graduates. 

She pushed her way through the sea of gold and navy blue gowns, heading towards the person. When she finally reached him, he was facing away from her so she tugged on his gown’s sleeve. He sharply turned around and upon recognizing her, he wordlessly pulled her to him.

They embraced each other fiercely for an immeasurable amount of time, her head tucked into his chest. In that moment, Lilly didn’t care if her makeup got on his gown or that he was also sweaty as well. All she knew that in that very moment, both of them had shared something special together: that feeling of accomplishment when reaching a milestone.

They pulled away but still refused to let go of each other completely, their hands grasping onto each other’s forearms. After staring at one another in disbelief, only then fully registering that they had just graduated high school, they both began to laugh. 

Lilly let out a boisterous giggle while Rick just chuckled, a faint smile on his face while his broad shoulders shook. Their amusement died down eventually and they regarded each other with a look of understanding, recalling the previous night’s conversation.

“Onto something new?” He asked, and she nodded in confirmation.

“Onto something new.”

— — —

Well, there you go anon. Is Rikkard OOC here? You bet. I always imagine his younger self as being nicer like how Lady Samantha mentioned in SB before he left home. And yes, I know they could have been dating here or I could have gone with the whole “bad boy meets feisty girl” cliche. But I felt inspired to write something more realistic and coming-of-age despite being platonic. I hope I did this prompt some justice and that it wasn’t too terrible to read.

Sidenote: The dress code incident that was discussed was actually based off of a real-life event that a high school senior experienced in Charlotte, North Carolina back in spring 2017.

[acquisitive-adventurers]

How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?

(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)

THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.

It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.

Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.

Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.

Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.

For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.

Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.

(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)

When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.

All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.

They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.

Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.

When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)

They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”

And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.

He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.

Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.

Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.

They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.

And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.

When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.

Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.

For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.

(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)

((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))

[imagine-loki]

Winter's Hearts

TITLE: Winter’s Hearts CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Four/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being Loki’s old friend/Lover in Asgard, but you left for Earth a long time ago. For all he knows, you might be dead, but you’re still alive and you’ve been working with SHIELD and/or the Avengers. RATING: T (so far) NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3: Click here

     You leaned against your closed door trying to fight back emotions. It had been so hard to tell Loki what you had, and there was still 150 years of backstory that you hadn’t been able to tell him yet. The revelations you had given him had been hard enough. You had a feeling he’d be breaking Frigga’s spell on his own, or possibly asking for your help to do it. You knew you could and you’d gladly break that damn spell for him. Not that it was Frigga’s fault that it was there. Even she couldn’t disobey Odin’s orders.

    You could only stall for so long. There was one other thing you had to do, so you pushed yourself away from the door. “Jarvis, where’s Thor?” you asked your phone. The AI was limited in the bedrooms.

    “He’s in training room A, Miss,” Jarvis replied.

    “Thanks Jarvis,” you told the AI while you changed into yoga pants and a sports bra, tying your hair back as you left your room. If you were going to talk to Thor in the training room, you knew that you had to be dressed to fight it out with him. He wasn’t going to be pleased either probably. “If Loki happens to come looking for me, please let him know where I went,”

    “Yes, Miss,”

    With that done, you made your way down to the training room. “Hey, Y/N, you ok?” Nat asked as you passed through the living room to grab a couple bottles of water from the fridge.

    You nodded and gave her a tentative smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Loki’s in his room. I need to go talk to Thor, but since he’s down in the training room,“ you gestured to the workout clothes.

    “Do I need to beat some sense into him for you? I know you can’t do it yourself,” that was true, you were duty bound to defend the throne, that did generally keep one from beating sense into said crown-wearer. At least in public. Usually. Shit. You were an awful Valkyrie at times. You beat sense into the boys more than once when they were being stupid.

    You laughed in reply. “I think his mom took care of that. No, I shouldn’t need him actually beaten up. If I do, I’ll call you.” She nodded, accepting your reassurance. “But Thunderhead always forgets to bring water with him when he’s planning on working out,” you held up the water bottles and Nat actually laughed.

    “Thunderhead?”

    “I’ll explain later. I…kinda have to tell him first,” you admitted. You waved to her and headed back to the elevator to head to the lower level where the training room was. Thor was in there working out without a shirt. Of course. You leaned against the doorjamb for a moment, watching before you cleared your throat and announced. “Hey Thunderer,”

    “Valkyrie,” he replied when he paused his drill to look over and see who was interrupting him. You tossed one of the bottles of water his way.

    “You always forget to stay hydrated and I don’t feel like carrying your unconscious ass back to your chambers. Again.” You told him with a smile. He paused then and just stared at you. “How much did your Lady Mother tell you?” you asked as you stepped into the room.

    “She berated me for being rude to you and hinted that things were not as they seemed. She said she could not say more, but that you were not under such constraints,” Thor finally said as he obediently downed the bottle of water. You vanished the empty bottle for him when he was done.

    “That’s true. I’m not. I probably should have told you sooner, but…”

    “I appeared to hate you, so why make it worse?” he suggested. You gave him a small smile. “You and Loki are quite similar after all,” he added in explanation. You inclined your head, giving him that point.

    “So, let me fill you in…” you told him everything that you had told Loki while he just stared in disbelieving shock.

    “You were exiled to protect Loki’s secret?” Thor finally asked. You nodded. “How can I know this is true?” he asked.

    You sighed. “Damn your brother for being the Lord of Lies and making you wary. I can use magic to remove your Lady Mother’s magic, but you wouldn’t trust that I didn’t just meddle with your memories instead. I can tell you 150 years’ worth of old stories, but you don’t remember them, so that won’t help,” you sighed heavily. “I don’t know what I can do to prove my story to you or Loki, and I’m at even more of a disadvantage as you have no reason to trust an exiled Valkyrie.” You fought back tears at his silence. Thor had changed. You all had in 900 years. He still didn’t speak again, so you nodded an extremely informal bow and left the other bottle of water for him. “Whether you believe me or not, you deserved to know, both of you did.” You turned to leave to leave him to his workout.

    “You truly cared for my brother,” Thor finally said softly.

    “I love your brother,” you replied firmly. “That never changed just because the Allfather sent me away.” You left him to his workout and headed back to your room, fighting even more emotions. Today had been trying already.

    You passed Nat in the hall, she was apparently keeping tabs on you. One look at your expression and she went stomping off to bother Thor. “Thor! You were the one who just went on a massive lecture about being nice to Y/N and Loki. Now, you’re making her cry?” Nat demanded as she stormed into the training room to go kick Thor’s ass. You rushed in and grabbed her arm before she could punch him.

    “Natasha, no. It’s not Thor’s fault,” you told her firmly.

    “The hell it’s not,” she growled. “I know you can’t beat sense into him. Let me go and I’ll do it myself,”

    “It’s not his fault. It’s mine. Just leave it alone,” they both looked shocked and hurt at your words. “It’s my fault,” you insisted. “I told him something he didn’t want to hear. We knew each other on Asgard and I reminded him of it, but have no way of proving my story to him. Really, it’s not his fault,” you dragged Nat from the room before she could knock some sense into Thor. She finally relented and went to go beat up something in one of the other training rooms. Based on the sound of pain, you thought it was Clint.

    You used magic to change back into normal clothes, jeans and a t-shirt and headed up to the kitchen to begin making dinner. It wasn’t your turn, but you had to do something to feel useful. So you made an old favorite of Loki’s, choosing absently, but smiling when you realized what you’d chosen. It was an old Asgardian fish dish you hadn’t had in years, but still knew how to make. You had a sub a few ingredients, but it would turn out just fine.

    “What’s for dinner?” Cap asked kindly as the team slowly made their way to the dining room. Bruce was dragging Tony by the arm or he wouldn’t have left his lab. Nat and Thor arrived together, both looking way more bruised than they had an hour ago. You had a feeling they were ‘talking’ out what you had told Thor.

    “A fish dish from back home,” you told Cap. “Did anyone tell Loki it was time for dinner?” you asked the group.

    “I did. He said he wasn’t hungry,” Clint told you as he got the plates out of the cabinet. Cap got the silverware and Bruce got Tony to sit at a chair and not run back to his lab. You served the dinner and saw Thor’s warm smile. He recognized the dish apparently.

    The team chatted and joked and told stories while you ate and everyone praised the wonderful meal. You sat with them through dinner. Cap and Nat cleaned up the kitchen while you made another plate, setting it on a tray with a wine glass of the Asgardian mead Thor had brought back from Asgard, a set of silverware, and a book from the library you knew a certain god would enjoy.

    You carried the tray up to Loki’s room and knocked on the door. “Go away, Thor! I already said I don’t want to hang out with your friends,” Loki growled. You hovered the tray in the air just outside of his door at waist height. You summoned a piece of stationary and a calligraphy pen to write out a quite note in Asgardian.

    The meal is safe. I prepared it and I did not let Thor help. You need to eat something, your highness.

    You signed it with they stylized sigil of your name. The note was formal, but you weren’t brave enough to drop the formality again without getting some indication from him first. Still, you couldn’t help being nice and bringing him dinner. Old habits and duty died hard.

    You knocked again harder, then ducked across the hall into your own room before he swung his door open, roaring at Thor for bothering him again. You could tell the moment he saw the tray. His roars stopped at once. You smiled and fell face first onto your bed, drained from the emotionally exhausting day. You just needed to rest for a minute.

    *

    “Valkyrie?” Thor’s voice came with a knock at your door a short time later. You groaned and got to your feet. You opened the door and stepped just out of reach. You were in pajamas and hadn’t donned your gloves again, so your arms and hands were completely bare and Thor was a toucher. Not maliciously, but he liked physical contact. “You had mentioned that you could remove the magic Mother placed…?” he asked tentatively.

    You nodded. “I can. You trust me to do it?” you asked softly. He gave you a bright smile.

    “I would not besmirch a Valkyrie’s honor by claiming I did not,” he replied. You smirked at that not-quite-an-answer. He’d apparently learned some things from Loki over the years. “Would you-?” he asked finally.

    You nodded again. “Jarvis, can you ask Nat to come to the living room?” you asked.

    “She is already there, Miss,”

    “Thanks,” you were sure to be polite to Jarvis. He was already mad at your ability to hack his systems, especially when you had made sure he couldn’t tell Tony. “I’ll do it, but downstairs,” you told Thor. He nodded and stepped back so you could follow him from the room. You walked downstairs in a companionable silence, reminding you of old times. You gestured to one end of one of the couches and settled on the other. “Telepathy based magic isn’t my strongest. I’m going to need physical contact,” you told him.

    “I thought you couldn’t touch anyone,” Thor interrupted.

    You nodded. “I can’t touch the humans. I didn’t clarify that you have some immunity. I honestly don’t know if you’ll have enough for this. It’s been 900 years since the issue has come up,” you reminded him. “But normal everyday touches on Asgard were perfectly safe,” he nodded, accepting your assessment. You looked over at Nat. “Natasha, we’re going to be playing with complex magic. Can you make sure we’re not interrupted. Unless Thor starts looking too blue, then please interrupt,” she wanted to ask, you saw it in her eyes, but she only nodded. You lifted your hands to Thor’s temples, stopping just before you touched him. “Ready?” you asked.

    “Yes. I wish to know the truth,” he told you firmly. You nodded and placed your fingertips against his temples as you dove into your magic, staring into his eyes both of you unblinking lost to the trance of power.

    Frigga’s magic was deep and everywhere in his mind. It took effort to find every ounce of it. She had done her job well, but also had seemed to lay a trail for you to be able to undo what she had done.

    She had known.

    You don’t know how long you worked, how long you sat like that, how much power you were draining into this working. It was a lot, but this was also a working that couldn’t be interrupted. Not without risking damage to his mind. You didn’t see his memories, except for the very last one that you broke free of Frigga’s spell. It was the day you were exiled. Thor had watched from the entrance to the Bifrost, off to the side where he could watch and not be seen. He had watched as you and Loki had spilled your hearts and tears. He had watched his brother’s heart shatter as Odin physically sent you through the Bifrost while Frigga held the raging sobbing Loki to keep him from following. He had watched as Frigga worked her magic, Loki’s eyes glazing, then the soft question:

    “Mother, why are we at the Bifrost?”

    Frigga smiled warmly at her son. “You were curious how it worked, darling, remember? Heimdall was going to open it for you so you could see for yourself.” Loki nodded, accepting the answer. Thor was horrified that his Mother had truly done it, had truly removed Loki’s memories.

    *

    You broke the spell, tears in your eyes as you yanked your hands back from Thor’s temples. He was shivering, but seemed otherwise unaffected. “Sorry,” you murmured, placing your hands in your lap. Thor was blinking quickly, a side effect of having his mind meddled with, but his eyes deglazed quickly. You were swaying, exhausted and drained.

    “Oh gods,” Thor said softly, obviously remembering something. It would take him awhile to go through all of the memories.

    “Don’t try to remember everything at once,” you warned, your voice betraying your exhaustion. “Give it time,” he nodded, then looked you over. You were currently trying to remember how one got to one’s feet. It was difficult to imagine how to accomplish that task.

    Thor grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around you. “Come on, Kyrie, you’re in no shape after that much magic to make it to bed on your own.” You looked up at him confused, fading quickly now that the rush from focusing on that spell was gone. The old nickname hadn’t even registered. He gave you a warm smile and lifted you into his arms, like you weighed nothing. Of course you didn’t to him. The blanket was wrapped around you in such a way that he wouldn’t touch your bare skin. Obviously he could, but you would worry, plus he had just had a large dose of Jotun ice while you were working on his mind and really didn’t need more.

    Nat stood, trying to decide what to do with this development. “Relax, Lady Natasha, I am just escorting the Valkyrie back to her bed. She has done me quite the service tonight. I will explain later, but the least I can do in return is make sure she can rest from it. I will not harm her,”

    “Y/N?” Nat asked. You nodded, then let your head fwump back on Thor’s shoulder.

    “‘m ok. Thanks for helping,” you murmured. Nat’s job had been important, though she hadn’t really had to do anything. Lookouts were very important. Thor chuckled and carried you to the elevator.

    “Brother? Have you seen-” Loki’s voice roused you when Thor stepped out of the elevator on your floor. “What did you do to her?” He ran over and forcefully took you from Thor’s arms, which was a pretty impressive feat. You had a feeling Thor only handed you over so you didn’t get dropped in the tussle. “Kyrie? Kyrie?” he asked frantically, while you fought to open your eyes, too drained to function.

    “Calm, brother. She is fine. She used her magic to lift Mother’s spell from my memories,” Thor explained quickly.

    “I’m ok, love,” you murmured to Loki, only half awake and kissed his cheek automatically. You were too out of it to attempt to be formal, or remember that you were supposed to, or think. “Thunderhead is an oaf and loud, but he doesn’t lie,”

    You heard the warm smile in Loki’s reply. “Good, I would so hate to have to kill him. It would only upset Mother. And I much prefer that she is currently upset with Thor,” you smiled at his words and laid your head on his shoulder.

    “Do you remember, then?” Thor asked kindly as he walked with Loki to your room.

    Loki shook his head. “Only pieces. Mother’s magic is quite effective since it was specifically designed so I cannot break it. I was going to ask Kyrie to help, but it appears you beat me to it. And before you offer you are in no shape,” Loki added firmly for your benefit. Thor opened your bedroom door and Loki tucked you into bed. “Rest, little Valkyrie,” he bid you softly.

    “Love you too,” you murmured, eyes shut and mostly asleep. You felt him stiffen and nearly opened your eyes again to see what was wrong, but couldn’t manage it.

    “I don’t remember. We had this entire relationship, and she speaks as if I’m the love of her life. But I don’t remember,” Loki’s frustrated tone made you make a small noise and move a little, stirring back awake.

    “Come, brother. Let her rest. I know her words are unsettling when you don’t remember. She is too exhausted to guard them. You must be aware of that. Do not fault her for being lost to the memories when she spent the evening helping me rebuild them,” Thor’s voice as he was pulling Loki from the room. “Thank you, Lady Valkyrie,” Thor’s voice and then the door was closed, the dark room pulled you into sleep dreaming of days long passed.

[fancymuffinparty]

Late Night Rendezvous

Rating: T; for language and comic mischief

Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Annie Leonhart

Summary: For Day Four of Ereannie Week 2018! Option A: Mischief. Modern AU.

Eren and Annie’s excellent adventure. Basically. Minus the time travelling, of course. 

And all Eren expected to happen after sneaking into her room was a casual makeout session...

Word Count: 1856

A/N: This is a couple days late, but here is my second contribution! :’) The last prompt was kinda angsty, so I’m balancing the feels with some stupid ereannie shenanigans! Hope you enjoy these two lovebirds getting into trouble! :D

It was around nine o’clock when Annie and her father bid one another goodnight and retreated upstairs to their respective bedrooms.

But Annie was still wide awake even after the clock had struck midnight, pacing quietly about her room. Her father had long since fallen asleep, as indicated by the loud snores resounding from behind his door, so she seized the opportunity to text her boyfriend and invite him over for a little late night rendezvous.

In the past, he’d snuck in through her bedroom window, as it was far less risky than trying to sneak him through the front door. ‘Less risky’ in that the two young adolescents had a lower chance of getting caught using this method. The risk of sustaining injury from attempting to climb a somewhat daunting height was still a very real hazard.

The perils of climbing through the window added a certain quality that Annie found rather enticing. The thrills she and her companion got out of it were so rewarding.

Speaking of her companion…

What’s taking him so long? she thought, glancing over at her phone to check the time. The last message relayed between them had been sent nearly an hour earlier.

Before she could compose another message to ensure he was still on his way, she was stopped by the subdued tapping of tiny rocks propelled against her window. Heeding the call, Annie tiptoed her way over and slowly slid the glass window open, her sights directed towards Prince Charming below.

Eren Jaeger was the cutest dork alive- but damn, his timing was the worst.

“You’re late!” Annie chastised him, keeping her voice low so as not to make too much noise.

“Sorry,” Eren apologized, loud enough to wake the neighbor’s dog. The dog’s subsequent barking forced Eren to make haste with his entrance, scrambling up the adjacent ladder Annie had set up earlier in preparation for this very event. “Shit!”

Annie implored him to hurry in earnest. “Are you trying to get us caught?!” she asked, pulling him inside through the window once he’d reached the top. “And what took you so long?”

Eren quickly slid the window shut, relishing in the brief moment of reprieve. “My brother was being a dick and wouldn’t let me borrow the car,” came his hushed reply. “Long story short, I had to bribe him.”

“Well you could’ve texted me to let me know,” Annie muttered, folding her arms across her chest.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry,” Eren said with a sigh. “I also parked a couple streets over so that might have added another ten minutes to my commute.”

Commute? Annie often found Eren’s colorful vocabulary to be fascinating, but rather than give him a hard time about his word-choice, she merely shook her head in disapproval and asked, “Why didn’t you just park curbside a couple houses down?”

“I didn’t want your dad or any of your tattletale neighbors seeing my car,” Eren replied with a shrug.

Annie quirked a brow. “The neighbors don’t give a damn what cars park on our street. Especially not if they’re sleeping,” she contested. “And you know my dad’s a heavy sleeper. He’s been out since around 9:30.”

Eren wiggled both eyebrows upon hearing that. “So your dad’s asleep, huh? Lucky us!”

Annie simply nodded in response, standing wordlessly before the green-eyed brunet with an expectant look on her face.

Okay… Eren thought. Now what?

Now that they’d established all systems were a go, what exactly was the hold up? Not that Eren was eager to jump into bed or anything…

The silence that fell between the two made him feel awkward, and he proceeded with commencing their late-night rendezvous in equally awkward fashion.

“Soooooo are we gonna kiss now or…?” Eren rubbed the back of his neck nervously, still finding their sneaky arrangements somewhat nerve-wracking in spite of the fact that this was hardly their first rodeo. “Should I lie down…?” His eyes flickered to the bed, before returning to Annie’s stoic gaze.

“Clearly not the romantic type, are we?” Annie scoffed, facepalming herself.

Eren frowned, his feelings only slightly hurt. “Are you kidding? That entrance was something out of a fairytale! No! A Disney movie!”

“Oh my god,” Annie huffed, cringing in silent despair.

“What?” Eren chuckled. “You want me to bring some rose petals next time? So I can sprinkle them all over the bed? Or better yet, we could light some scented candles to set the mood. Or how about-”

“Eren,” Annie interjected, bringing her pointer finger to her lips as a warning. “Keep it down.”

Before Eren could mumble a slightly panicked apology, Annie had reached for his hand, guiding them both to her plush queen sized bed. They slumped down next to each other, knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder. Annie appeared to be on the verge of telling him something.

“There’s a reason I invited you over tonight,” Annie whispered, anticipation flaring in her icy blue eyes.

“A reason other than sex?” Eren quipped, earning him an unimpressed frown. “Kidding,” he added quickly. Well, sort of. “Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

Annie tilted her head, hesitant. “I’m pining for a little… adventure.”

Eren became instantly curious, prying for details. “Define adventure.”

Realizing they were only losing prime shenanigan time, Annie got straight to the point, shooting Eren a look of determination.

“We…” she drawled, preparing to dole out the command in resolute fashion. “Are going to egg Jean Kirstein’s house.”

In that moment, Eren Jaeger fell madly in love with Annie Leonhart, internally vowing to himself he would wife her so fucking hard someday.

Jean’s house was a measly ten-minute drive.

As Eren’s car neared the Kirstein’s residence, he killed the lights and then waited for Annie’s cue to cut off the engine.

In the blonde’s lap was a carton of a dozen eggs; the real stars of the upcoming show.

Donning a mischievous smirk, Annie pulled her hoodie over her head and turned to give her partner in crime a nod in affirmation. Eren acted accordingly, killing the engine and pulling over his own hood with the intent of masking his identity.

“All right,” Annie ordered, cautiously handing over half of the carton’s eggs. “You remember the plan?”

Eren nodded, accepting the delicate eggs with care. “Blitzkrieg style,” he recapped. “We bum-rush the front yard and fire away.”

“Aim for the windows and the front door,” Annie reminded him, waiting for the right moment to strike. Not a single person was around, and the neighborhood was devoid of any passing cars or barking dogs. “This ought to teach Kirstein never to steal the last donut ever again.”

Was egging someone’s house a justifiable solution to such a minor transgression?

Yes. Yes, it was.

“Ready?” Annie’s question received an instant thumbs up. “Let’s do this.”

They bolted out of the car in unison, both commencing a furious sprint for the Kirstein house. As soon as they set foot behind enemy lines, they wasted no time bombarding the home’s exterior with cracked egg shells and splattered golden yolks. Eren’s aim was decent, but unable to match Annie’s perfect accuracy and precision.

She was about to fire the last one at an obnoxious-looking garden gnome when it suddenly dawned on her.

Wait a minute… the Kirsteins never had that gnome in their front yard…

Annie briefly looked up, eyes roving over the front porch in search of the house’s number.

The Kirsteins’ address is 1005… and that’s…

1007.

Shit.

“Eren!” She abruptly grabbed him by the arm, tugging him away with urgency “Retreat!”

“What? Why?” His dumbfounded question was answered after Annie had pointed out their fatal mistake- realizing they’d targeted the wrong house.

And not just any house.

The Kirstein’s next door neighbor was none other than Keith Shadis; residential hardass and former Marine.

This was the ultimate fuck up.

“Oh, shit!” Eren mouthed, silently mourning his impending death.

As if to seal their fate, the light above the front porch came on, followed by the emergence of a shadowy figure behind the curtains. It was a tall burly man; the homeowner himself no doubt.

Eren and Annie turned and ran with everything they had, pushing themselves to the furthest limit as though their very lives depended on it. Neither looked back, their eyes set for the getaway vehicle to make their escape.

They were about halfway down the street when a booming voice called after them, shattering the eardrums of anyone unfortunate enough to hear within a five-mile radius.

“Hey! Get back here! You little shits are gonna pay for this! HEY!”

The naughty duo finally reached the car and immediately hopped in, struggling to buckle their seatbelts as adrenaline was still coursing through their veins.

“Go, go, go!” Annie commanded, gripping the edge of her seat.

Eren obeyed her instruction and pulled a quick u-turn, speeding down the street in a frenzy.

Once they were out of the neighborhood and back on the main road, Annie leaned back into her seat and expelled a deep groan, hoodie still covering her head.

Close call back there, she thought. Too close.

Eren willed himself to keep his mouth shut but eventually gave in to the laugh surging through his chest, unable to control his riotous cackling.

“How could you mistake Jean’s house for Shadis’ house?!” he bellowed, voice heavy with laughter. “We’ve visited enough to know what it looks like!”

“In my defense,” Annie began, still mulling over their narrow escape, “The streetlights were unusually dim, and it’s fucking pitch black outside.” Never mind the fact that the Kirstein’s lived in neighborhood where the houses were all cookie cutter versions of the other.

Eren took note of her slightly traumatized demeanor, attempting to ease the tension the best way he knew how.

His fine-tuned idiocy, of course.

“Relax, babe. We’re safe now,” Eren remarked casually. “By the way, that’s one hell of an arm you got there. Kinda turned me on.”

Annie rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the upturned lips of the smile etched on her face. She turned to look out of the passenger window, ensuring it was hidden from Eren’s view so as not to give him a single ounce of encouragement.  

She remained unresponsive, until…

“I think that’s about as much ‘adventure’ as I can handle,” she quipped, cynicism oozing from each word. “Ought to satisfy me for a lifetime.”

Eren suddenly hatched an idea, knowing just the right thing to cap their impromptu excursion. “Care for one more adventure?” he asked. “It’s a fairly tame one. I promise.”

Annie’s interest was immediately piqued. “And what would that be?”

“We’d go on a little hunt.”

“A hunt for what?”

Eren was so glad she asked. “The nearest donut shop.” To celebrate, of course. As well as atone for the donut Jean had stolen earlier that week. Luckily, the nearest twenty-four-hour shop was a short drive away, and they still had a few hours until dawn.

One more adventure couldn’t hurt…

In that moment, Annie Leonhart fell madly in love with Eren Jaeger, internally vowing to marry the shit out of him someday.

[stylo-xx]

Eyes Closed (M)

G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut

PART 6:  Let Me Go

A/N: a bit shorter than most of my other stuff but I figured if I write shorter chapters I’d be able to get it out to you guys faster me thinks

P.S: songs for your listening pleasure: (Hailee Steinfeld)||(ZEDD)||(RM&Junkook)||(The Naked and Famous)

(Part One)||(Part Two-A)||(Part Two-B)||(Part Three)||(Part Four)||(Part Five-A)||(Part Five-B)||(Part Five-C)(Part Seven)

      “Jiyong” she panted “no I’m too tired for a round three”       He chuckled “relax, I just wanted to kiss you, you little shit” he said cupping her cheek and leaning forward before she mustered up whatever energy she had left and shoved his shoulder.         “What?” He laughed “oh, come on you know I meant that with l—“       “Don’t even finish what you were going to say” she interjected “don’t say the ‘L’ word”       He lazily draped his arm around her waist while the other supported his head.       “You know maybe we should stop kissing all together…”       “What? Why?” he chuckled.       “I don’t know…I just think that’s–I just don’t want to confuse mindless sex for something else…”       “What are you Sandra Bullock in ‘Pretty Woman’ or something?” He furrowed his brows “no way”       “That wasn’t Sandra Bullock and yes way” she shifted putting a small amount of distance between them.       He bit his lip before speaking “I feel like its too little, too late for that” He said lifting himself up and moving to straddle her.       “Ji-Yong, I told you I was too tired” she whined.       “Okay well let’s just call it even after this. Last night you wore me out with how enthusiastically you wanted me, so round three and however many more you can handle” he leaned down pecking her lips.       “That was different” she swatted his face away “I was having fun last night”       “So what, are you saying you’re not having fun now?” Stared deep into her eyes.       “It’s kinda ‘meh’ tonight Ji” smirked as she shrugged her shoulders.       Glaring at her he quickly placed his two fingers on her bundle of nerves and began rubbing her clit in circles as she squirmed beneath his touch.       “Okay,okay I’m sorry!” She moaned taking a firm grip on his wrist “I was just kidding!”       “That’s what I thought” he smirked as he pulled his digits away.       “You’re so evil….” she panted heavily  “…I….you are the worst”       He smiled.       “I wish we could stay like this forever” she sighed “laying in bed I mean”       He chuckled “we can if you want to”       “it’s too bad we can’t…”       He chuckled “and why can’t we?”       “I have to get back to Seoul…I have things I have to do tomorrow” she sighed again and stroked his cheek “Jeju is great but we can’t stay forever”       He furrowed his brows “okay well, then I’ll just come get you after said things and we can end up naked in bed again” he chuckled.       “I can’t”       He threw his arm around her and pulled her close “no way you can go then”       “What do you mean?” she laughed.       “Tell whatever things you have to do tomorrow you’re busy doing other things”       “Ji-Yong I can’t just– what other things?” She laughed.       “Me” he smirked.       She pushed his shoulder as she sat up and began to pull on her shirt.       “Ha-ha very funny. As much as I would love to have endless romp sessions with you, I have to go save face and apologize for what i did with you last night”       “What to Saige?”       “Umm, well I guess her too yes but not exactly…”       “I don’t get who you have to apologize– no way. Don’t even tell me its–” he pulled away.       “Ji-Yong I have to”       “No fucking way. You’re just gonna go apologize to that asshole? For what? Are you gonna suddenly tell me he’s your fucking boyfriend” he sat up.       “Okay calm down he’s not my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have slept with you if he was”       “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”       “I don’t even get why you’re getting so upset over this?” She stood from the bed and wiggled her pants back on       “You really don’t get why I’m upset?”       “Not at all” she started walking to where her shoes laid on the ground “besides you have no reason to be mad”       “No reason? No reason? Alex I don’t think you get how much i don’t like that guy, he doesn’t care about you the way you think”       She scoffed “oh come on Ji-Yong you don’t even know him. Besides I did ditch him for you last night after all. And today….I need to say sorry”       “I don’t have to know him to tell you he is an asshole!” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed “so are you gonna tell him then?”       “Tell him what exactly?”       “About us? What we actually did last night, today! repeatedly may I add”       “Us? Of course not, I’m just going to say I didn’t feel well so I left early. I mean I texted him that earlier when he asked me if we were still meeting up today”       “So you’re just gonna lie? Not even say anything about me?”       She sighed heavily and crossed her arms “yes Ji-Yong, I am going to blatantly lie to his face because I can’t exactly say ‘I’m sorry I ditched you twice so I could go get fucked by my ex boyfriend’ Pretty sure he wouldn’t be too happy considering…” she turned to look in the mirror to fix her hair.       “Considering what?!”       She sighed again and turned back to face him “considering Kwon Ji-Yong, that you are not the only man that exists in my life. Considering, that before last night Jun-Myeon was the only guy I was remotely interested in. Considering, that for the past couple of months you didn’t exist to me!”       He scoffed “first of all don’t call him that–”

      “By his first name?!”       He rolled his eyes “well I exist to you now, you were the one who wanted me to whisk you away and fuck you remember? so is that all this is gonna be? Just me fucking you when you feel like lying to him? What if–nevermind”       “No say it” she crossed her arms.       “What if one day he actually asks you to be his girlfriend? Hmm? Would you say yes and then just forget about me again? Would I just be your rebound for when you break up and be your fuck buddy until you find someone else?”       She sighed “Ji-Yong, it’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be. Besides you live on the other half of the world so the fuck buddy thing wouldn’t exactly work out” she joked.       “That’s not funny! Goddammit, all I’ve wanted the past few months was to be with you, not just some one night stand and a quickie in my car but actually be with you. And now that I have you, you’re gonna turn around and tell me there’s some other douche bag you care about more than me?”        “I never said that”       “Well it sure as shit seems that way! So all this talk about wanting to spend time with me was just bullshit then right?”       “Stop putting words in my mouth”       “Are you sleeping with him too?”       “Excuse me?” She raised an eyebrow.       “Are-you-sleeping-with-him?” He sneered.       “First of all I heard you the first time jackass, second of all its none of your business if I am”       “Considering I’m the only one who’s been fucking you within the last 16 hours it is my business now! I don’t want to have sex with you if you’re letting that mother fucker have sex with you too”        “And who said I wanted to have sex with you after this? Maybe I just wanted to get it out of my system and now that it is, I can go back to him happily knowing I have no feelings for you at all”       “Argh!” He started pacing “why can’t you just stay with me?”       “I already told you I need to–”       “No, no you don’t!” He walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders “please Alex I am begging you. Don’t leave me just to go back to him. I don’t think i can handle knowing I let you slip out of my fingers again and leave me for some guy” he searched her eyes before going in to kiss her with all the affection he could muster.       Not bothering to break up the kiss he lead her back into the bed and crawled on top of her and pulled away from the kiss before speaking       “I mean it” he stroked her cheek “I don’t want to lose you again…I still love you”       She stared into his eyes before speaking “I have to go. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I can’t say the same”       He sighed heavily in defeat before nodding his head and getting off of her. He watched her pick up the rest of her things with tears beginning to prick the corners of his eyes.       “I’m not driving you back to Seoul just for you to go see him” he sniffled.       “I wasn’t counting on it” she fixed her hair in the mirror again.       “What are you just gonna hitchhike all the way back to Seoul?”       “No. he’s on his way…”       He let out and incredulous scoff and ran his hands through his hair “unbelievable…”       “I’m sorry…” she said softly before heading out the door and out of his life yet again.

      For the next week and a half Ji-Yong spent his time in the studio at the YG building; day in and day out the only person who would actually see Ji-Yong was the doorman. Had the doorman not known any better he would have thought he was some miserable soul stuck haunting the YG building. But at the rate Ji-Yong had been sulking in his studio, he might as well have been.       Much to Young-Bae’s surprise, after hearing from Ji-Yong himself calling him to tell him what had happened between he and Alex, he actually felt happy for his friend thinking that maybe just maybe he was wrong for worrying about them seeing each other again. That maybe everything would work out in their favor and everything would go back to normal; but he should have known better. Getting a drunken voicemail from Ji-Yong the following sunday after the party, Young-Bae only feared that this was something that was going to make Ji-Yong worse than he already was; if that was humanly possible.       For days since the voicemail he had spent his time trying to reach Ji-Yong wherever he could to but to no avail; that is until Teddy had sent him a text begging him to take Ji-Yong home because he locked him out of the studio. The first couple of days Ji-Yong only agreed to speak with Young-Bae through the door; mostly to tell him to leave him alone, but perhaps the immense loneliness had gotten to Ji-Yong so it was only a matter of time before he finally agreed to let Young-Bae into the studio with him.       He listened to Ji-Yong complain and whine about the same thing over and over again for days but never once telling him that enough was enough or so much as roll his eyes; he listened and patiently waited for Ji-Yong to actually want to hear his consolation. That was one thing that had kept them friends for so long; Young-Bae was patient where Ji-Yong wasn’t and that was something Ji-Yong admired about him. He was also someone who was very good at expressing his concerns and emotions and knew how to be that friend when one is in need; not judging but just listening. Sure there were times where, despite their slight age difference, Young-Bae would scold Ji-Yong but only when he really deserved it. He admitted to himself that he felt he hadn’t been that good of a friend to Ji-Yong as of late, mostly because he had become tired of the same old song and dance with him; getting wasted, getting angry, throwing fits because he didn’t get what he wanted in the end. But there was a line drawn in the sand for Young-Bae, he and Seung-Hyun had shared the same sentiment of resentment toward Ji-Yong once they had found out the things that he had done; to one of their closest friends no less. Young-Bae in a way felt as if he had betrayed Ji-Yong many times over the past few months when he’d keep it from Ji-Yong that he and Seung-Hyun had traveled several times to see ‘DO NOT CALL HER’ or when she was close by but not uttering a single word to his best friend; despite knowing how badly his friend longed to see her again. Young-Bae had told himself he was doing it to protect his best friend when he knew full well he was doing it to protect himself; ‘protect himself from what?’ you may ask? From having to deal with Ji-Yong’s perpetual rampage and for one night pretend all was well in all his friendships. He felt selfish yes, but he couldn’t help but feel at time that he too was in a tumultuous relationship with Ji-Yong and he too needed a break from him sometimes. Sometimes he’d wish he was able to ‘break up’ with Ji-Yong if only momentarily.       “Alright man, I’ll see you tomorrow” Young-Bae clapped Ji-Yong’s shoulder “can you do me a favor and actually get some rest tonight?”       “No promises” halfheartedly smiled “same time tomorrow though alright?”       “I’m gonna have charging you for these daily therapy sessions” he chuckled.       “Yah, just go”       “Alright, alright see you tomorrow” he grabbed his backpack off the floor and walked out of the studio leaving Ji-Yong all alone with only a pad of paper and cold cup of coffee at his side.       Back into work mode, he scratched his head with the back of the pen trying to remember the melody Young-Bae had suggested for one of his new solo songs he had been writing. He closed and squinched his eyes tight trying to remember how it went before he completely forgot it. He quickly jotted down the notes before putting down the pad of paper on his lap and scooting his rolling chair over to where the electronic keyboard sat and positioned his fingers over the keys.       Just as he was about to play, knock came at the door.       “I’m busy!” he called out at the door.       The knock came again.       “Go away I am busy!”       The knocking continued.       “Young-Bae, did you forget–” he swung open the door “oh…”       “Hey” she cleared her throat.       “It’s you…what are you doing here?” he furrowed his brows.       “I umm, can we talk?”       “I’m kinda busy, no” he stepped back ready to close the door.       “Ji-Yong wait!” she out stretched her hand stopping the door mid swing “can we just please talk?”       He sighed before stepping aside motioning for her to come inside.       He cleared his throat, closing the door behind her.       “You’ve decorated” her eyes dancing from wall to wall “love that Janet is still–”       “Alex what do you want?” he cut her off “did you just come her to make small talk? Because I have a lot of things to work on so if you–”       “I came to say I’m–”       “You’re sorry?” he crossed his arms “don’t even apologize, I got your message loud and clear”       He walked to the door swinging it open holding it for her to leave.       “Will you stop and listen to me?!” she grabbed him by the arm closing the door       “Look I don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry, I don’t care!”       “Fine then I won’t say I’m sorry!” she crossed her arms.       “Sounds good to me!” he swung the door open again.       “Will you stop opening the goddamn door?!” she shut it again.       “What could you possibly want from me?!” he ran a hand through his hair “what, do you just wanna dig the dagger in a little deeper and tell me about how amazing your new boyfriend is? Did you want a pat on the back for playing me the way you did? Well congratulations you played me well, I get it I did it to you now you got me, thank you!”       “Just shut up for a second and let me talk!”       “Why did you come back? Huh?”       “What do you mean?”             “Did you fly back just for him and I’m just a quick pit stop along the way so you don’t feel guilty anymore?”       “No…” she said softly “he doesn’t even know I’m here..“       “Oh good, more lies” he said sarcastically.       “Okay that’s it” she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back against the wall “Ji-Yong I know you don’t wanna hear it but I’m sorry!”       He scoffed “Feel good to get that of your chest? Okay now get off me” he grabbed her by the wrists pulling her hands off his chest.       “You know what fine” she snatched her wrists back “screw you, I said my peace so yes, it did feel good to get that off my chest and I’m sorry I inconvenienced you so I’ll just leave!”       She turned on her heels and reached a hand for the door knob.       “Wait” he turned her around “I’m not done yet”       He grabbed her by the nape of her neck and kissed her deeply. She replaced her hands on his chest trying to put distance between them before unable to resist the urge to run her hands through his hair giving it light tugs. Taking her face between his palms, he pushed the two of them toward the desk just steps away. Pinning her between himself and the desk, he pulled away and briskly shoved everything off of the desk before replacing a hand on the nape of her neck and leaning in to kiss her again.       “Ji-Yong wait” she turned her face away from him.       “What’s wrong?” he panted.       “This. all of this”       He moved his hand down to her bare waist.       “We can’t do this…”       “Is it because of the condom? listen I’ll just pull out before–”       “No! Its not the fucking condom Ji-Yong!”       “Then what is it?”       “Don’t you see? This is exactly why I came to talk to you…I mean aside from apologizing”       “Did you want me to chase you first before all this or–?”       “No you dumbass!” she pushed past him “it’s about what you said to me the last time I saw you Ji-Yong…”       “I’m not even going to pretend to remember what that was” he walked toward her “after we fought I tried to block everything out”       “Ji–” she crossed her arms looking down at her feet “when you said you still….”       “Ohhh…that” he ran a hand through his hair “well I mean–you know I meant it. I could say it again…I’d still mean it”       “No Ji-Yong that’s the problem” she looked up at him “I know you do”       “But?”       “But, I mean look at us! We’re not even together and we’re doing the same shit we did when we were! We fight, we fuck, we make up and then we do the same damn thing over and over again”       “I don’t see the problem here?” he raised an eyebrow.       “I hope you’re kidding” she scoffed “Ji-Yong we–we’re not good for each other. You know that, I know that, hell anybody with eyes that spends ten minutes with us knows that!”       He stayed silent.       “Ji I came here because I want you in my life just as much as you do,but not in this way…”       “Meaning?”       “Meaning, and I already know what you’re going to say, I think we should be in each other’s lives–”       “Still don’t see the problem” he chimed in.       “BUT” she continued “just as friends…”       “No”       “Ji-Yong”       “No”       “Just listen–”       “No Alex, I already told you before I don’t want to be just friends. How are we supposed to pretend the past four years didn’t happen between us? How am I supposed to act like I haven’t seen you in compromising positions?”       She smacked his shoulder “be serious!”       “Am I wrong?!” he rubbed his shoulder “you want me to just throw away all of that? Despite what happened toward the end, you have to admit that there was good stuff mixed in there too. And there’s no chance I will ever forget that; even if I try”       “Ji-Yong” she groaned.       “I can’t Alex, why are you even asking me this again?” he furrowed his brows.       She stayed silent.       “He asked you didn’t he?”       No response.       “You honestly think, had I even said yes that I’d be okay seeing you with him? Let alone another man”       “I just think it’d be good for us to see other people…and still be in each other’s lives. You and I were great friends before any of this mess happened and I want to be able to come to you as a friend like I did before.” she looked at her hands “You know, I’ve been hoping I’d see you with somebody who would love you in the ways I couldn’t….someone who’d be enough for you to let me go”       He clenched his jaw as he thought.       “I guess for both of us to let go…” she mumbled.       “Is that honestly what you want?” he stepped closer “You want to see me happy with someone else?”       She swallowed hard “yes”       He backed her against the wall “and you want to be happy with someone else?” he looked from her eyes to her lips as he pinned her between himself and the wall.       Tilting his head slightly he leaned in closer toward her face making her breath catch in her throat.       “just friends you said right?” he scoffed       “Right” she said trying not to sound shaky.       “We’ll see how well that goes” he pushed himself off against the wall, opening the door to the studio once more, leaving her alone with her thoughts.