#im working on committing to my lines but i still will go over it all in thicker marker

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the bosses daughter part one

words: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, male and female receiving oral, p in v sex, unprotected sex, semi public sex, golfer!rafe

part one / part two

“who is that?” rafe asks, leaning forward to get a better view of the ponytail that's swishing through a sea of polo shirts.

“bosses daughter.” his coworker quickly warns. “don't even acknowledge her of he'll fire your ass.”

rafe doesn't take the threat too seriously. he's mostly just working to please his dad and show ward that he can commit to something, even if it is just teaching golf lessons twice a week.

“she's hot though.” he argues back, eyes moving down your back to the short golf skirt covering your ass, accentuated by your thick thighs.

“which is why she'll never go for you anyways.” despite his coworkers jokes, he's got it all wrong.

“why hello.” you smile, walking up to rafe a while later, when he's out away from the central club and warming up with some swings. “i don't think we've met before. im y/n.”

“rafe.” he answers happily, finishing the last ball of the line off with a powerful swing that you both watch go sailing through the air. “pleasure to meet you.”

“you haven't been working here long.” you state. “im sure i would have remembered you.”

“oh yeah?” rafe smirks. “and why's that?”

your cheeks tinge with blush but it doesn't stop your tongue. “you're just my type. i already remember all the cute golf guys.”

“all of them?” rafe raises his eyebrows. “you're already making me jealous, princess.”

“well, if it makes you feel better you're the one i left the club to find.” you hum out, leaning your hip against his golf cart.

“and it would make me feel even better if you found me again after my lesson.” rafe looks at the 10 year old he's been teaching as he trods through the grass. “don't want your dad to get mad about me missing a lesson, though i would for you gorgeous.”

you smile, biting your tongue to stop yourself from continuing to flirt as the mother of the young golfer crests the hill. you watch the lesson for a few minutes before retreating back to the country club.

“any of the guys giving you shit, y/n?” your dad calls as you enter into the bar area, of course sat chatting with a customer and longtime family friend, which was the category most of the clientele

fell into.

“nope.” you answer, popping your p. “i was just watching a lesson for a bit. cute little kid and the instructor was real nice. i think he's new.”

“rafe?” your dad raises his eyebrows and you don't miss his friend chuckling. “you stay away from him y/n.” he says sternly.

“ugh, you tell me to stay away from everyone dad.” you roll your eyes dramatically.

“exactly.” your dad says, giving you a pointed look. 

you give him a pout right back and leave the room, finding a quiet spot to scroll on your phone as you wait for time to pass, ready to not take your father's advice.

you figure rafes lesson must be over by now and make your way back outside, deciding to ditch the golf cart and go on foot looking for him. you make it only a short distance down the main path until you spot him.

“still jealous?” you question, sliding into the passenger seat of his golf cart. rafe instantly takes off, driving you slowly away from the centralized area.

“depends on what you were doing while i was teaching.” rafe hums out, a hand reaching over to place itself on your thigh, a still respectable distance for now.

“oh, just getting a lecture from my dad to stay away from you.”

“and yet here you are…” rafes hand inches higher. “letting me drive you away from the club.”

“hopefully to the most isolated spot…” you take rafes hand and move it upwards, guiding his fingers underneath your skirt, making your intentions blatantly obvious.

“as concealed as possible, yeah?” rafe asks, hand slipping between your thighs, pressing against your core as he begins to stroke softly. “not a fan of being watched?”

“not when everyone would run back to tell my father.” you chuckle before gasping as rafes fingers change their angle to rub directly against your clit.

“then your better keep a straight face while we drive past these guys.” rafe warns. your eyes blink open, you hadn't even realized that you closed them. 

you let out a soft moan as rafe presses further into your clit, knowing that the front of the golf cart is blocking their view of his hand underneath your skirt.

“come on, at least try to hide how good im making you feel.” rafe smirks at you as you attempt to straighten out your face as you drive by, thankfully the golfers are more interested in their game than whoever is speeding by.

rafe moves to a hole that's been taken off the course in favor for new builds, waiting for it to be revamped, meaning no one is likely to be around.

“behind the trees.” you point ahead at a patch of pines that should conceal you perfectly.

rafe pulls his hand from your pants as you let out a huff of disapproval, only for him to quickly put the car into park. 

you both jump at each other at the same time, lips finding lips as you straddle rafe, hands on his neck as you kiss him passionately.

rafes hands are now free to explore without worrying about wandering eyes, rubbing down your back before dropping to grip your ass from underneath the flap of your skirt.

you can't help yourself, needing the stimulation back on your clit as you push your hips down, grinding against rafes cock as you feel him stiffening and growing underneath you.

“wanna suck you off.” you tell rafe, sliding off his lap and onto the floor of the golf cart.

“hell fucking yeah.” rafe growls out, watching with anticipation as you reach for the zipper on his golf shorts, tugging at the metal until he lifts his hips to help you pull the khaki material down to his ankles.

your eyes crinkle with a smile as you see rafes length clearly pushing against the fabric of his underwear.

despite needing him desperately, you can't help but tease him as you press kisses from his base to the head of his cock, a small wet spot already forming.

your tongue pokes out to taste him, wetting the material even more until you can't take the barrier any longer and shove rafes underwear down, allowing his cock to spring out.

you open your mouth to tell rafe how big his cock is, when his hips surge forward and his hand comes to the back of your neck at the same time, pushing your head down onto his cock.

you gag at the sudden and unexpected intrusion, but the sound only seems to turn rafe on more as his cock twitches in your mouth.

you begin to start a steady rhythm, rafes hips raising to meet yours as you get used to the feeling of his length down your throat.

“fuck!” rafe groans out. “what a mouth you got on you.”

you try to resist the urge to smile, but rafe can still feel the sides of your mouth quirking up.

rafe pulls you by your hair, raising your face up to meet his as he smashes his lips against his, not caring that he can taste himself slightly under the overpowering flavor of your strawberry chapstick.

“need you.” rafe says, tugging on your hair again.

you move quickly, standing up with slightly wobbly knees as you pull your skirt and panties down in one smooth go.

“shit.” rafe groans, pussy right at his eye level. “need to do this first though.”

rafes chin forces your thighs further apart as you fall backwards, bum landing on the steering wheel while his mouth finds your cunt, tongue teasing your clit in wide circles as you wait for him to finally pass over the bundle of nerves.

just when you think that rafe isn't going to, his tongue flicks against your clit before latching around it, sucking harshly as he looks up, watching the way you moan out, still trying not to be too loud.

“ride me.” rafe says, pulling away, knowing he could eat your pussy forever but that you both don't have the luxury of time. certainly your dad would be getting suspicious of your absence soon.

rafe leans back, allowing you to straddle him again, knees pressing into the leathery seat material.

you reach down to take his cock in your hand by the base, lining him up with your entrance before sinking down with a moan falling from both of your lips.

“god, you're so warm and wet.” rafe moans out, eyes glossed over as he looks at you, both soaking in the moment of your bodies joined together before you start to move, hips rising up before falling quickly, pussy clenching around his cock with every movement.

“you feel perfect.” you tell rafe honestly, loving the way he hits that hidden sweet spot inside of you every single time without fail.

you place your hands on rafes chest, providing you some more stability as you speed up until you're bouncing up and down on his dick.

rafes hands find your hips, helping you move up and down the second you show any sign of fatigue.

“im- i don't know how much longer im going to last.” rafe warns. he wishes he could keep going, but with already having your mouth around him, he knows he's about to reach his limit. 

“touch my clit.” you command rafe, knowing that's all you need to reach your own high.

rafe listens to your demands instantly, thumb finding your clit as he places the pad over it, rubbing in quick circles, even concentrating enough to spell out the letters of his name onto your clit.

“f-fuck!” you squeal. “keep going!”

rafe begins to push his hips up to join you, both of you pushing your tired muscles as hard as you can, waiting to see who the first one will be to break.

your high breeches suddenly, back arching as you cum with a gasp of rafes name. you push yourself as deep onto rafes cock as you can, moaning when you feel him release, cum flooding your insides as you reach your highs simultaneously.

you fall forward as rafe gives a few more thrusts to help ride out your highs.

“shit.” you whine with a giggle as your face presses into rafes chest. “that was so fucking good.”

“honestly, i could stay like this forever.” rafe says, hand squeezing your ass.

“but…” 

“but your dad.”

“ugh.” you sit up, pushing a couple strands of hair off your face that are sticking to your sweaty forehead. “i hate that you're right.”

“but my next lesson is thursday.” rafe says as you carefully slide off his cock, knowing you need to redress immediately. “if you'd like to find me after that shift.”

“hm…” you sit back down next to rafe once you've got your skirt on, watching as he covers himself back up and makes himself presentable again. “i think i can do that.”

“promise you baby, you won't have to look too hard.” rafe pulls you into one last strong kiss before taking off back towards the club.

[murdrdocs]

saber tooth | f. odair

description. just two days out from the Games, your mentor and best friend, finnick odair, comes to your room late at night in a mutual fit of insomnia to fulfill your (potentially) dying wish 

includes. SMUT 16+, fem!reader, oral f!receiving, fingering, loss of virginity sans p in v, canon-complicit angst, mentions of finnick’s trafficking, best friends to lovers, reader’s a tribute, finnick’s her mentor, extremely brief misunderstandings, soft dom finnick, pleasure dom finnick, brief mention of drug use (one line), finnick and annie were never together but he mentored her, he rlly cares abt r :((, giggly sex (sometimes), throw away line abt lack of body hair but i rlly like body hair

a/n: whaddup whaddup! this started as a blurb but it um ,,, clearly expanded. there’s no p in v simply bc im so tired rn however i would like to continue this in the future if my mind would allow it :) also the title has nothing to do with the fic i was just listening to easily by chuck inglish

word count: 4k+ 

part 2

A week of anticipation, festivities, and celebration for the Capitol, was a week of anxiety, tears muffled into pillows, and wishing to be somewhere else for you. 

The week leading up to the 72nd Hunger Games. 

The Reaping, Opening Ceremony, and the three days of training that followed were mostly a blur. Your body picked up on the techniques you would need to survive, and with the help of Finnick, you’d managed to commit them to memory. You remembered the way you’d been trained to sit and talk and the jokes you should slip into conversation with Caesar tomorrow night. 

All of their training was working, and Finnick had told you that you had a high chance of making it out of that area. A high chance. Nothing was guaranteed at this point in your life. Which is why you needed to do a few final things. 

The door to your bedroom slides open. You lift your head from the pillow and squint. There’s a little light coming from the hallway, and it backlit the figure. But even without it, you would know who was coming to see you. The only person who’d been coming to see you since the arrival at the Tribute Center. 

“Hey, Finn,” you mumble, resting your head back against the pillow that’s always cool. 

Finnick takes a few steps into your room, stopping to flick a switch that only turns on the lamps beside your bed, and the two ambient ones in the corners. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice is raspy, as if he’s tired, but not to the point of already greeting sleep. It’s a little later than it should be, you were recommended to have gone to sleep two hours ago but you couldn’t. There was too much going on in your head, too many unsaid words and undone actions. You couldn’t sleep with your consciousness this awake. 

Finnick voices the matter. “You can’t sleep, can you?” 

You shake your head, deciding to sit up a little, your bare lower half still secure underneath the thick comforter. Your room was always cold, and the silk sheets mirrored the temperature. Physically, you were the most comfortable you’d ever been, wearing the softest cotton undergarments, and a silk button up nightshirt, your toes warm beneath fuzzy socks. But the weight on your mind was the complete opposite. 

With the way Finnick looks at your face, he can tell just how exhausted you are. 

“Want something to help with that?” He asks as he sits at the edge of the bed, close but entirely too far from you. “A drink? Pills? The Capitol has it all, you know.” The way he says it is the opposite of marveling, the words laced with annoyance and frustration. His tone prompts a small smile from you. 

“‘M okay. I trust my body to do what it’s supposed to.” Finnick’s head is turned down, but you see the way the corner of his lip curls up. 

He lifts his head to fully smile at you, one of sympathy and pity and sadness. His hand reaches out and his palm rests over the outline of your shin. Far too many layers are between the bare skin on both of you, but you don’t say so. You just give Finnick an equally sad smile, expressing your dismay for your situation, and you begin to pick at your nails in your lap. 

“What’re you doing in here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Finnick shakes his head. “No such luck for me either.” He shrugs as if he’s used to it and you remember that he’s been in this position too. Just a few years ago, a young boy, your best friend, was sitting in this bed, with similar thoughts weighing on his mind. And now his best friend was in that position. 

You push the sheets back, exposing the beginnings of the skin on your thigh, and you pat the space beside you. “C’mon,” you encourage, not ceasing your patting until Finnick scoffs and slides his slippers off, crawling up to slip under the covers with you. 

The bed is larger than you’d ever seen, something your escort called a ‘bed fit for a king’, but Finnick chooses to sit right beside you, the heat of his body warming yours. 

“We could watch something. What plays on the television in the Capitol?” Finnick’s sitting so close to you that you can feel him shrug. Whenever you reach over to the bedside table, pulling the drawer open to grab the remote, you come back to sit even closer to him, where your arms are pressed flush against each other. 

“Mostly shows about the lives of celebrities here.” 

You gasp, turning to face him. “Is that rumor about you appearing on some reality show true?” Finnick’s ears redden and that’s enough confirmation that you need. Your head throws back with a hearty laugh, and you click on the TV with hopes of finding an episode. 

Finnick sits quietly beside you as you click through the channels, reading the titles and watching maybe a second or two of content before you decide to try the next thing. When you’ve gone through most channels, you land on the one that will play the Games. 

He says your name, as a warning perhaps, but you click it anyway, seeing that they’re talking about you. 

“Now the odds of this one making it out are pretty high. She’s pretty, smart, and trained by the Finnick Odair,” a clip of you and Finnick appears, one that must’ve been taken backstage during the Opening Ceremony. He’s standing close to you, crouched down just enough to meet your eye level. You’re obviously nervous, and he’s obviously attempting to soothe those nerves, cracking jokes with a hand held to your heart, both of yours over it.  “The Capitol’s Prince.” The announcer pronounces those words clearly, enunciated, making sure every late night viewer understands Finnick’s alternate title. 

Clips of Finnick throughout the years show and you grow silent, watching how he commands a room better than you ever could. 

“If she were to make it out, I’m sure she could become the Capitol’s Princess, right?” The announcer smiles just as the remote is snatched from your hands and the TV is clicked off, ridding the bedroom of the colorful hues and leaving you and Finnick with the yellow light from your lamps. 

“Why did you–?” Finnick’s interrupting. He’s thrown the remote to the side of him and he’s turned to face you. 

“I want you to make it out of the Games, I really do.” You nod, watching the way his chest rises and falls with breaths that fill the hesitant silence. “But, I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.” 

“What do you mean? You don’t want me to be loved and adored by the Capitol?” You say it a tad bit sarcastically, but your tone dulls down when you notice how serious his face is. 

He shakes his head. “No, I really don't.” You scoff, beginning to get upset over the idea that a night that was turning peaceful, began to turn on its head. “Because everything comes with a price here,” he says your name, making sure you’re listening. “The ‘love’ the Capitol has for me is ingenuine, they love me like I’m an object. Not a person with thoughts and feelings.” 

“Finnick, I don’t think I understand.” But you do, you really do. 

He tells you as much, that same sad smile from earlier on his lips. 

Before you can speak, he does. “Look, I came in here to ask you what you want.” 

Your eyebrows furrow. 

“Before the Tributes I mentor get sent off, I like to fulfill their wish. In case they don’t…”

“In case they don’t make it back.” He nods. “So a dying wish?” Another nod. 

“So, what d’you want?” 

You know what you want. You’ve wanted it since you were a teenager, watching Finnick, the most loved victor, leave for the Capitol and come back weeks later. Since you watched him train Annie Cresta and everyone, including yourself, believed there to have been something between them. Since he walked into your room just 20 minutes ago. 

“What I want, I don’t think I can ask you for.” You speak low, your voice a whisper. Your head rests on the headboard behind you, turned to face Finnicks. 

He shakes his head gently. “I have connections. I can guarantee almost anything.” 

“No, Finn.” You don’t think you can ask him for this. Especially with what he’s essentially just told you. It would be selfish, it would be insincere, it would ruin the friendship you have between you two. 

“I can’t.” 

His head’s already facing yours, and he brings one of his hands up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing the skin. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No, Finn, I can’t.” Your eyes sting, as does your nose, and you know there’s no use in pretending the tears aren’t there. He’s seen them, he’s acknowledged them by swiping his thumb under your eye, catching the first drop. 

“I would do anything for you. Just say the word.” 

You search his eyes, his face, the tip of his ears, his Adam’s Apple. You’re looking for his tell. But it’s not there. It’s just Finnick. Your Finnick. And he wants the best for you. 

You’re the most vulnerable you’ve ever been at this moment; sitting in a bed in the Tribute Center, just two days out from the Hunger Games, a period of uncertainty that is life or death; your best friend, and unrequited crush, as your mentor, having to hold your pieces together at least until the end of this. 

There’s no point in hiding anything. You know you need to lay it all out. So you do. 

“Even take my virginity?” 

The air is still. Stiff. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t breathe. His thumb halts. He doesn’t blink. 

You sit there, watching him, holding in the sob that threatens to wrack across your body. 

“Forget it. I’m sor–” 

“Yes.” 

“What?” 

“Yes.” 

There’s a moment where you don’t act. A moment where disbelief trickles down your body like the tears from your eyes do on your face. 

“Finn…” 

“I would do anything for you. I have wanted you since we were young, but I thought…” 

“Doesn’t matter what you thought then. Not anymore. We go from here now.” 

And there is the nagging possibility that all of this could be because of your potential fate. Maybe he’s humoring you, or letting you in on that final step of human intimacy before your life ends. You prefer not to think about it. Especially whenever Finnick’s moving closer to you and you can feel his breath on your lips. 

Your lips are almost touching, the tanned skin of his face is right in front of you, the same goes for the pink of his lips. He’s almost there, then he says, “Are you sure?” 

“‘M sure.” And Finnick is kissing you. Finnick Odair is finally kissing you. 

He kisses you softly, sweetly, with precision and a gentle nature. As if he’s afraid that he’ll do something wrong and hurt you. 

You kiss him back in a similar fashion, just with added timidness that Finnick doesn’t possess. 

Your hands raise slowly, in choppy motions that are both due to your uncertainty, and the distraction of finally having the man of your dreams kiss you like you’re made of porcelain. But you manage to get your hands to Finnicks torso, palms pressed flat against his thin shirt so that you can feel the abs along his torso. 

You’ve felt them before, in time of play fighting, or whenever he would have you replicate his breathing or form. But touching along his torso in this circumstance is different. Now, your touch ignites a fire within you. It makes Finnick grip the back of your neck and pull you closer with one hand, the other sliding the covers away and hooking his hand at the back of your thigh, pulling your left leg over your right. 

Your hands slide down to the hem of his shirt, slowly starting to slide it up until he gets the hint and pulls away just enough for you to slide the shirt between you two, up and over his head. Then he’s back on you. 

When you sigh blissfully into his mouth, he starts to kiss you like he’s desperate to have you close. Like he wants to engulf your entire being until you’re intertwined. 

The best you can do is physically move closer to him, letting the hand on the back of your thigh guide you to straddling his lap. 

It’s then that Finnick pulls away from you. Your hands trail up to cup his cheeks, moving back to play with the golden blonde locks that seemed to never be out of place. 

He stares up at you, sea-green eyes pulling you even further into a state of enchantment. Whenever he tilts his head, eyes stuck on you, and kisses into your palm, you melt. His hand lifts to gently circle around your wrist, nimble fingers rubbing little circles into the skin. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Finnick speaks. “I need you to remember that even if I’m doing the work, you set the pace. You tell me what you like and don’t like. You tell me when to go and when to stop. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

And then you’re back at it. His hands circle around to your lower back, pushing into the curvature to bring your chest closer to him. He uses the position to his advantage, dipping his head to kiss at the exposed bits of your skin; your neck, collarbone, the starts of your cleavage. He quickly becomes frustrated with the lack of skin, and you bite back a smile as you gently nudge his head back and begin to undo the buttons. 

He watches you in a trance-like state with a look that seems akin to awe. You can’t help but tease him just a bit, shifting in your position atop his crotch and slowing your work on the buttons. 

Finnick groans and his hands leave your lower back to push your own hands away, deciding to undo your buttons himself, grumbling something under his breath about you being a tease. 

When you giggle above him, Finnick has you pushed onto your back in what seems like the blink of an eye. Really, it did happen quick, but your eyes were already closed from giggling so hard, so reopening them to Finnick above you, your shirt opened and your barely confined tits in Finnick’s eyeline, is disorienting. 

“Jesus, look at you,” Finnick mumbles. And he is. His eyes are hungirly skirting over your figure, taking it all in. From your eyes, to the bra that you wear, all the way to the cotton panties that hug your hips. 

His gaze stops at your lower half for a while, watching your stomach rise and fall with your breaths and the way there’s definitely a little wet patch on your panties. 

“What am I gonna do with you?” He mumbles under his breath. The question is rhetorical, and meant only for him. But, in a fit of nerves, you answer anyway, needing to do something other than lay there. 

“I don’t know, Finn, there’s a lot that you can do. You can go down on me, give me your fingers, your cock.” 

His eyes lift to yours, shock evident within them. “Did you just say the word ‘cock’?” He laughs between the words, that perfectly pearly white smile greeting you. 

“Yeah,” you say, laughing through the syllables too. 

Finnick shakes his head with that smile still present. 

He swears under his breath but then his fingers are playing with the hem of your panties and you’re back under, focused on what he could possibly plan to do next. He hums, eyes on you, eyebrows raised. 

It takes you a second to realize what his intentions were, but you do soon enough. “Keep going. Please.” 

The tips of his fingers reach below the band of your panties. He begins to pull them down, just until your hip bones and the start of your mound becomes visible. At first, you disgraced the Capitols groomers' work of ridding your entire body of hair, but you can’t help but feel a little grateful that they did. You knew that Finnick wouldn’t care either way. 

You lift your hips, letting Finnick pull your panties over the curve of your ass. When they sit at the halfway point of your thighs, he lowers his head and presses his lips to the area right above the waistband. And he continues to do so, sliding your underwear down and kissing through the journey. 

The last kiss he gives you is on the arch of your foot, right before he guides the garment over the remaining part of your body, throwing them off to the side of the bed. 

Finnick sits back on his heels then, just looking at you, looking at your legs which are just almost crossed at the knee, your ankles together and one knee raised slightly above the other. You’re shielding the most vulnerable part of you, hiding it almost. But when his green eyes meet your center, briefly meeting your eyes, you slowly part your legs, allowing him to see you in all of your glory. 

Finnick sucks in a sharp breath of air, his chest rising with it. He doesn’t let it out until your legs are completely opened and bent at the knee, inviting him in. You sit halfway up on your elbows, watching him, waiting for him. 

It’s not long until he makes a move, just a few tense moments and then Finnick’s kicked into action. 

His calloused hands on your knees, sliding around to the back of your thighs as he lays on his stomach, directly facing your cunt. 

When he speaks, you can feel his breath on you. “I wanna taste you, sweetheart. Just for a bit. Is that alright?” 

His eyes are visible over your mound, but they’re not focused on you just this once. They’re focused on your cunt, scanning it, taking it all in almost as if he’s committing this moment to his very strong memory. 

You’re a little starstruck, reckoning with the notion that Finnick wants to give you head. Therefore, you sit there in stunned silence, attempting to find the words to deliver your over enthusiastic agreement. But Finnick takes your silence negatively. 

“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, honey. Just wanna make you feel good. That’s what I’m here for.” And there are those eyes again. They’re pleading, but also making you feel comfortable, reminding you that you’re in charge. 

You smile gently, nodding. “Yes.” 

And the first lick has your head spinning. His tongue is warm, and wet, and he licks a long stripe from your leaking entrance to your clit. It’s slow, and methodical. He licks your juices up, but they’re coming back tenfold by the time he’s pressed a kiss to your clit. 

A surprised moan pushes up your throat. The feeling has your hips pushing into his face on their own accord, your elbows slipping out from under you and your head throwing back onto the mattress. 

Finnick disconnects from you for just a second to let out a pleased groan, but the absence is too much for you already. You’re wiggling your hips, searching for him. 

Finnick laughs and the sound has heat rising through you. “‘M still here. Not leaving this pussy anytime soon.” 

He lives up to his promise immediately. His mouth’s back on you, licking and sucking on your most sensitive parts. 

It’s now that you remember how experienced Finnick is. How knowledgeable he is about the general spots of someone’s body. And he’s able to apply that knowledge to your body, with the help of your zealous responses. 

You’re moaning, your back arching, your hands gripping the sheets. Your knees bend more, your legs spread more, it’s all more and more and more. You want more from Finnick. You need more. 

You’re communicating that fact when you finally have enough courage to fist a hand into Finnick’s hair, and it’s like he’s rewarding you when he slyly begins to probe a finger at your tight entrance. 

You’re clenched, far from relaxed, but with a deep breath, you’re loose enough for him to slide in to the first knuckle, then the second, then all the way, his single digit comfortable within your walls. 

Finnick fucks you with his finger, aiding the penetration with his pretty pink lips around your pink nub. He sucks, the pressure making your head spin, your consciousness in the clouds to the point where you don’t notice another of Finnick’s deft fingers teasing your entrance. 

“Another?” he asks, voice barely able to be heard due to his proximity to your cunt. 

“Uh-huh,” is all the affirmation you can give. 

It’s a little tight and uncomfortable at first, but once his digits are evened out and curling in you, and his tongue is lapping up your juices like it’s water, you’re riding so high in a blissed out state that discomfort is the last thing on your mind. 

Your approaching orgasm becomes known to you quicker than you can anticipate. It’s like all of a sudden there’s tension in your lower abdomen, begging for your attention, begging to be released. 

“Finnick, Finn,” he hums, not stopping any of his ministrations. “‘M so close. Almost there.” 

You hadn’t thought it to be possible but Finnick gives you more. His fingers fuck you faster and harder, his cheeks hollow as he alternates between sucking along your nerves and stroking his tongue is the areas that you’re most sensitive. 

It feels so fucking good, a pleasure you’d never experienced in your life. You couldn’t imagine being in this position with anyone other than your best friend, someone you trusted with your entire being. It’s as if he knows your body better than you do, because sooner than you would’ve liked, your back is arching and your legs are lifting off the bed and your nails are digging into Finnick’s scalp, all signs that your orgasm is right there and you cum with a loud cry that melts into breathy moans. 

Finnick pulls his fingers out of your cunt but his mouth stays on you, placing gentle kisses and kitten licks along the slicked area. When your legs have lowered and your breath has evened out, he pulls his head away from you, a wince leaving his lips. 

“Darling,” he starts, receiving an affirmative hum in response. “You’re pulling my hair out.” 

“Oh, shit, sorry.” Your hand lets go of his hair, your body burning with embarrassment. But Finnick’s bright laugh and content smile soothes you. 

“‘S okay,” he mumbles as he leans up and presses a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. Your lips mold to his like they were created for each other, and the kiss is slow, methodical, loving. 

You whine when he pulls away, but his hands have already hooked under your thighs and he’s pulling you with him as he starts to sit back. 

You end up in the position you started in, sitting on Finnick’s lap, your hands on his shoulders. 

Under you, you can feel his bulge confined in his pants. You shift a little over it, your throat beating with your heart rate due to the anticipation. 

Finnick’s eyes close softly and his head throws back. Your hand rises to push back the bangs of his hair which lay on his forehead, in favor of resting your skin against his. 

“Sweetheart,” he groans. “We …. We can’t.” 

Your heart drops. 

“Huh?” 

“I wanna feel you, sweetheart, I swear.” His eyes open to stare at yours and you notice the sincerity in them. It doesn’t do much to lift your spirits, though. “But we can’t. Not yet.” 

Your eyebrows furrow, waiting for further explanation. It comes from him quickly. 

“I need you in your right mind in the Games. You need to be focused, and only thinking about survival. Nothing else.” 

“You’re so full of yourself.” 

He chuckles. “Maybe. But we have to play it safe.” A beat. “You trust me, right?” 

And you do. Wholeheartedly. 

[l0velynalani]

"𝙲𝚘𝚌𝚘𝚊 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜"

♡Dazai relationship headcannons♡

If you ever sleep with this man (NOT LIKE THAT) he with 100% stick to you like glue and complain it's cold 

^^Arms wrapped around you like he's scared you’ll disappear (just comfort this man PLS)

Those bandages get disgusting after a while so if your that deep into the relationship he’ll let you change them for him

Unironically uses brain rot terms..(you can't change my mind)

If you were to cook for him he’ll be so dramatic and act like you just lifted heaven and earth

SCENARIO:

“Bella~! All this just for a little old me? You should’ve had it!! Dazai flaunts around with a bowl of noodles in his hand and a stupid lovesick smile “Dazai..it's just noodles?” you deadpanned at him “THE BEST NOODLES!” Dazai corrects you. You can see the light in his eyes. “Okay okay just sit down and eat,don’t want you ruining the “best” noodles” you chuckle as you sit down at the table with Dazai.

If you work at the agency then all the thoughts of work just left through Dazai’s ear (not like there was any to begin with) just to tease you and push your buttons

Let's be real Dazai is irresponsible and probably doesn't wash his hair that often so either you noice and offer to do it or Dazai gets over dramatic and begs you do to it cause “Your hair is so pretty do my hair like yours but then again everything you do is pretty!”-Dazai..probably (sorry bald people)

Yk that one episode where a gang hurts the manager of the cafe that the ADA members go to? And then Dazai gets real mad and they all hunt the gang down? that's the equivalent of what's gonna happen if someone were to hurt you

He probably using really corny pick up lines in order to commit a double suicide with you (its so embarassing but so adorable) but thats because if hes gonna die it should be with you

A/n:some may be inaccurate but remember im still a newbie writer! I might do a poll for what to write next so suggest some characters for me to put in the poll

P.S: Im trying to post often but if I'm delayed I apolgie in advance I dont have a set shecdule

Do not reblog,plagerize or post on different platforms without my permission

[yandere-sins]

IM CRYING AT THE THOUGHT OF KÖNIG NOT LETTING DARLING COOK

No because imagine him approving of your combat skills (if you suck then you wouldn't be a KorTac operator in the first place) and enjoying how well you work with him on the battlefield but he draws the line if you were to get injured from cooking 😭😭😭

Darling, KorTac, and TF141 when König refuses to let darling cook but allows her to commit war crimes:

Darling explaining (begging) to König on why he should let her bond with the others like a normal soldier and cook for herself because she's not a child.

König towards anyone who tried getting too close to HIS platonic darling (they made a small talk).

You're sooo right about Ghost being rougher yet gives his darling more freedom aka the bare minimum. The problem with platonic yandere König is that he's infantilizing! Even if he's also friends with Horangi, you and Horangi are treated very differently. Horangi and KorTac pities you, truly.

I thought of something, since the rest of TF141 doesn't know the whole thing about you and König, how would you think they'll react towards König's treatment towards his darling? The only ones who came to my mind are Price and Ghost. Price who raises an eyebrow because he's not even like that with his men, and Ghost calling König out on his treatment that makes you uncomfortable.

König is just too afraid something might happen, he totally pulls darling from any missions if he can, but alas, they are more than capable. It also starts out as kind of nice for the darling, I mean, it's great if someone takes care of you for a while, right? But at some point they'll be pretty annoyed for even needing a chaperone to go to the toilet. But of course it's also hard to send König away. He only means well after all... Darling will need to put their foot down even if it hurts (':

The 141 probably sees it as a weird co-dependant situation at first. You're like a service pet even though they never saw the "real" and vulnerable König, so it makes even less sense. However, things do begin to ring alarm bells when they notice you getting frustrated about things like being sent away whenever you want to make food for yourself and König taking over. Or when you don't show up to training. Ghost and Soap are more on the personal front, catching up to you and bumping into your shoulder, asking if you're okay. Price is more of a business front where he orders you to meet him, however, he's still kind when he asks if you need help or if there is something uncanny going on he should know about. They're not really in a position to interfer with KorTac employees, but if you tell them you need a break, they can at least try to get the big guy off your back ever so often. You'll have to do the reporting yourself if you have enough but they can give you the pen and paper or telephone if it's something you'd rather not do in König's presence. But then again, do you want to?

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

OK BUT SPENCER'S AND BAU TEAM REACTION TO TTPD????

spencer reid x famous!reader

warnings: miscarriage (will put a warning before and after), im basing most of the mention/emotions of miscarriages with my experience with my sister who has gone through a couple while she was trying for a baby as well as research i did, mention of weed

note: this has taken a while to write cause i wanted to interpret the songs on my own time before applying then to the au, so i hope it was worth the wait!

this quickly became my analysis of the songs (in the context of the au) rather than the bau's reactions

feel free to send a message to my inbox about what you think their reactions would be/fav songs i love hearing about that stuff from y'all 🩷

Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)

I don't picture this song to be about Spencer. I see it as more fictional in the way folklore and evermore were more fictional inspired by different things that have happened in her life. Also I feel like Emily likes Post Malone so she was excited for this song, and Penny love the ai fortnight but love the real fortnight better.

Spencer is always worried when a sadder song comes out that it's about him, but reader always reassures him that it's not and that she loves him.

The Tortured Poets Department

THIS SONG IS SO SPENCER REID CODED. "you're in self-sabotage mode" !!!!

I feel like this is Rossi's fav off the album 🤷‍♀️

I said this in an ask a while ago but sometime in 2020, maybe 2021, they had a sort of break and this song was written during that time for sure.

"but you told Penny you'd kill if I ever leave, and I said that to Jack about you so I felt seen, everyone we know why it's meant to be, cause we're... crazy" I feel like this line really explains the break they were on. Like they were so co-dependant and loved each other so much that it was the problem. Everyone knows they're meant for each other but they still get in their own way, Spencer with not wanting to get married when reader did, and reader not wanting Spencer to spend so much time with work. And they just weren't thinking of the same things at that time.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

"He saw forever so he smashed it up" reminds me of "i wouldn't marry me either" but in 'you're losing me' she's blaming herself for the break whereas in this song she realized that it was Spencer and his commitment issues. Which always makes me think of the line "I'll tell you that he runs because he loves me" which can be seen as a really sad line but I think in this instance it's that she wants to accept him for all his faults, he's going to run sometimes when he gets scared but he always comes back, and they're working on that.

"Once i fix me, he's gonna mix me" reminds me very much like 'you're losing me'

"Stole my tortured heart, felt all these broken parts, told me I'm better off... but I'm not" do I have to say commitment issues and self-sabotage again?

Down Bad

Emily loves this song. She loves the vibes, she loves the lyrics, just everything.

In my eyes, it's about Spencer. Reminds me of "told me I'm better off... but I'm not."

So Long, London

Penelope's favourite part of the album is the opening of this song, first time hearing it she said it sounded like wedding bells.

In Virginia there's a town called New London thats 2hrs from Quantico... It's meant to be.

"Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away" you guys gonna make me say commitment issues every time?

She's clearly talking about her side of when they both weren't communicating and how he hurt her when he couldn't commit.

She really thought it was over when she wrote this.

But Daddy I Love Him

The shock in that room when she said "I'm having his babies!"... Derek found it hilarious, the girls were having a heart attack.

I think she's not not writing about Spencer in this song. Idk how else to explain, like it's kinda about backlash from every time she gets in a relationship no matter with who, which happened with Spencer so she's talking about that but not that exclusively. Does that make sense?

Fresh Out The Slammer

I think this song is about getting out of a relationship and now you're free to be with someone else who you've had your eye on. This song was written so long ago it's basically a rep vault track. In this au when reader and Spencer met reader was with Tom (i think??) but still gave Spencer her number and called him after she broke up with Tom, and that was the birth of this song.

Florida!!! (ft. Florence + The Machine)

Written about the idea of getting away, taking a break from life, while her and Spencer were on their break. She needed a break, all her friends were either single and smell like weed or they had kids and she wanted kids, but Spencer wasn't ready, so she had to get away from what reminded her of him.

Guilty as Sin?

"What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh only in my mind" she's imagining what it would be like if they got back together.

Is the second half of this song when she says "they're gonna crucify me anyway,,, i choose you and me, religiously.." And the song sounds like it ended but they she comes back in with the chorus, cause she thought it was over but now they're back better than ever.

"One slip falling into a hedge maze" a labyrinth is a hedge maze, because she fell back in love.

The last "Am I allowed to cry" is almost like can I cry from relieve? Relieve that it worked.

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?

This song is Spencer Reid coded.

Derek and Emily love badass-ery of this song. Pen loves the production "I love the production of this song!" "I'll pass that along to Jack."

Spencer just can't help but tell her he loves and is proud of her after hearing it.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

This is about a past relationship, no way can I see this to be about Spencer.

I feel like JJ really likes this song.

loml

This song was written, probably not too long after 'you're losing me' when they had that break and she was in the depression stage. She wrote this when she thought she lost him, she thought she did all she could and still lost him.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

warning!!!miscarriage

I had written down the idea of them having miscarriage in my notes app a couple weeks or maybe even a month before the album, cause of the song 'bigger than the whole sky' and when I heard this song with this in mind it broke my heart, that I knew I had to do it.

I'm thinking they were trying for a while and having lots of trouble, then stopped when the tour idea was falling in place, but she ended up miscarrying during the practice for the tour while not knowing she was pregnant. Likely she didn't know because she was on birth control and because she was working so hard and so busy with Midnights and the tour.

So with all the trouble they were having trying to get pregnant, Spencer was grieving in his own way, sadly it hurt reader a lot. He was angry, he probably said things he didn't mean, they were both feeling so much sadness and anger and they couldn't handle it. I think at this time, they were still going to bed every night together, but it was off and they no longer spent time together. Spencer needed the time to himself, when all reader needed was time with him (want to be clear no one is in the wrong in this situation, it's just a fucking bad situation)

"He said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short" has two meaning (they were having a boy)

"I can hold my breath, I've been doing it since he left. I keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole time, I'm sure I can pass this test." 😭 Like referring to her baby, and since they'd been trying before they had a couple baby things like clothes that she couldn't stop herself from getting in hopes 😭😭😭

end of warning

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Every verse I see as being about a different relationship. Working on re-records it's bring up old feelings and I think she just collectively put all the feelings into this song.

Spencer was beyond scared it was about him, he was already apologizing for making her feel that way before she could tell him it's not about him.

The Alchemy

This idea I have is so silly, that I think it works???

Spencer once said off-handedly that his job was kinda like football, it was strategy, and you failed a lot but sometimes things just fell into place like a puzzle. And reader ran with that idea, like she couldn't sleep that bight and just had the silly thought of Spencer, her Spencer, playing football and wrote this. Little off topic but I also think this about 'Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince' lol

Clara Bow

The self-name drop. The team's jaws were on the floor, their eyes were wide. When Pen realizes she's like "DID YOU JUST DAY YOUR OWN NAME??!?"

The Black Dog

Maybe like the team was seeing how Spencer was down recently and brought him out to a bar after work.

And Spencer didn't 'forget' to turn off his location he never did because he still had the hope that the relationship wasn't over, that this was just a rough patch.

imgonnagetyouback

Spoiler alert: she got him back.

Because no matter how much they hurt each other they're in love. And it reminds me of a boygenius lyric "You could absolutely break my heart, that's how I know that we're in love." that lyric in bodies them.

The Albatross

This is like a sister song to 'peace'

This song to me is obviously about the narrative that she's the problem. She's the one destroying all her relationships.

And she's telling Spencer in this song "I've been through this before, it doesn't matter."

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

This song is her thinking about them seeing other people. Her imagining him with other people, how much that hurts.

And around 2020-2021 maybe there were rumours about her seeing some athlete or something cause of 'And you saw my bones out with somebody new, who seemed like he would've bullied you in school'

And maybe not the entire song is about him (that's me trying to make him sound better) I see it as mostly her thinking off some what-ifs.

I think they both caused each other a lot of pain, but their love out-ways that completely.

How Did It End?

Written the same night as the Black Dog and she's thinking about what Spencer tells the team.

I see the fact she says 'it's happening again' instead of 'it's happened again' tells us that this is not a sure thing, she's thinking about what people will think if it does end.

So High School

What if it's just a lover vault track lol.

I Hate It Here

I think Penny really likes this song.

It's definitely written in the state of mind of the prophecy, that she's just not meant to be loved but she wants to so badly. So she escapes into her mind which I picture is folklore/evermore.

thanK you aIMee

They love the petty vibes, probably was Penny that first showed or sent a TikTok of North listening to reader's music and was like "girl, you see this yet?"

I Look in People's Windows

In this au I see this as a folklore or evermore vault track.

The Prophecy

Very similar to 'how did it end' and 'i hate it here'

Cassandra

Again it's very similar to 'mad women' so maybe she chose which one to put on folklore and put the other on this album.

Peter

I think she wrote this as a break up song, with a lot of metaphors but what sticks out to me is in the bridge.

"Cause loves never lost when perspective is earned, and you said you'd come and get me but you were 25,,,forgive me peter please know that i tried to hold on to the days that you were mine."

Spencer was 25 in this au when they met and it's so perfect and sad and I love it.

The Bolter

In this au the 'She' in this song is reader.

Robin

I feel boring by saying I think it's another track written in the fictional world of folklore and evermore, but for the au that's what I think!

The Manuscript

In the directors on directors interview she called the All too well short film script 'the manuscript' that's all the evidence I need.

Spencer encouraged her to write this song, because he saw all the emotions she was dealing with while writing/directing the short film.

[devondespresso]

Wiggly Worm Wednesday!! 🧠🪱

tagged by @little-annie this Wednesday, @pearynice and @hotluncheddie last time, @queenie-ofthe-void (and hotluncheddie again💕) the time before, and @carolperkinsexgirlfriend the time before that. Thank you guys so much for tagging me even when i can't get to it right away 💖💗💝

Lately I've been kinda swamped with fic commitments and rushing stuff last-minute (my own fault ofc 😅) writing mostly romance, so now im just itching to go back to my platonic stuff! nothing against romance, im enjoying writing it for sure, but god i can't wait to work on my Steve Henderson au again

for now tho the probably-never-to-be-written worms are about Steve bunking with the Buckleys post s4. maybe his parents just never came home, maybe they were there and had a big blowup argument with Steve about leaving, but they're not around now and Robins not about to let Mr Walking-Sepsis-Risk live alone for the apocalypse

in my head i imagine the buckleys house is kinda like max's before s4, a smaller 1-story but cozy, and no guest room so Steve stays in Robin's room.

her parents let them but they're definitely a little wary and a little lost but at least a little used to it, both thanking whatever power they believe in that no matter how freakishly clingy they are now, its still world's better than the violently freakishly clingy stobin was right after starcourt, when both of them looked to be hanging on by a thread and that thread was each other.

so they're like. chill. they plow through an awkward conversation about how bad an idea it would be to be up to something right now with steves injuries and robin sees herself out like halfway through, piling all the old stuffed animal onto her bed and keeping them there for the next week to avoid thinking about it. And Steve, abandoned by his partner in crime, stumbles through his own awkward explanation along the lines of 'you don't have to worry about that, i promise' before joining Robin in her embarrassed cringing-party, featuring notable guests such as Mr. Cat, Doodles, and Floppsy Bunny.

Not much of a plot in my head really, I'm just enjoying all the vague ideas floating around this premise. theres lots of details about Steve and his wounds, like wearing button downs that are easier to put on than pull-overs, Mr. Buckley letting him borrow some when Steve only finds a couple (or when he packs his normal clothes not realizing how miserable itd be to take them on and off constantly to check how things are healing).

Also Steve helping around the house and the Buckley's getting to know him better and not just the Polite Steve that they usually see because Steve couldn't risk his best friends parents not liking him (and because usually robin would go to his house, its a lot easier to sneak out than it is to smuggle someone in, especially with freaky upside down nightmares). Maybe Steve gets to actually joke around with Robin's dad, talk real shit with her mom (maybe about the future, hippie mom offering a different perspective on what life can be, how you can figure things out, just try things even if you don't have a perfect plan)

Steve finding safety not just with Robin, but with Robins family. the four of them growing this sweet relationship, not like a second child for the buckleys but more like a second home for Steve. stobin are firmly strange best friends to me (as opposed to siblings), and i like the dynamic of steve and robin's parents as 'my kids best friend' type stuff, not cause there's any less love but more like they're not trying to replace Steve's parents, they just end up filling in the gaps.

oki tagging presumably for next time (tho if you guys wanna do it late anyway you go for it, time isn't real wahoo): @marvel-ous-m @momotonescreaming @puppy-steve @lightoftheseraph @lingeringmirth

@writing-kiki @eriquin @scriptorbemi @sourw0lfs @soaringornithopter

@solarmorrigan @eddiethebrave @steddiecameraroll @imfinereallyy @yabakuboi

@kikidoesfanfic @tinytalkingtina @hairstevington @stellarspecter @sunflowerharrington

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write the TADC cast with a male ballet dancer reader? The reader experiences gender dysphoria 24/7 because they look very feminine and all that.

TADC cast x male!ballet dancer!reader w/ dysphoria

back to finishing up the current line up of requests!! reminder that im only doing requests that have been sent in prior to them being closed! any requests that are sent in while theyre still closed will not be taken and will be deleted so i can keep track of what was sent before closing; its nothing against any of yall and you guys can resend your stuff when they are reopened (i will make it very obvious when they are so dw!!) on a different note i could have sworn i did a cast request with a reader who does ballet; but i guess it was only for jax and i was confusing the group request for the ballora type! reader from this morning huh anyways!! i hope you enjoy this anon! quick warning that i know literally nothing about ballet so im

CAINE:

i think he enjoys a bunch of art forms; from music stuff to dance stuff to painting stuff, this man has taste. i think he would give you a bunch of outfits for you to wear and swap around that fits your aesthetic. bro would give you a whole walk in closet. as for dysphoria, i think he would do a similar thing with jax and reinforce how masculine you are to him, usually through affirmations, but he also shows it through just being there for you, bro is not only your number one fan but hes also your biggest supporter

POMNI:

i am yet again stumped on what to put in for pomni, since i think pomni is. bad at comforting people. very awkward, do not go to her for advice she will fumble so bad. now its not like shes not trying, but i think she would be all over the place trying to cover everything that could possibly help you; perhaps you two ultimately settle on cuddling one another... if this werent the digital world you two would probably put on a movie to take your mind off of it. as for her thoughts on ballet! i think she would find it neat, similar to jax she would have a form of respect for it!

RAGATHA:

she thinks it looks pretty, the dancing! she wouldnt know all the history or more in depth parts of it but she would watch you practice if you allowed her too... i think she would make you a binder, if your digital body causes any gender dysphoria for you.. though now that i type this i recall it being said that the characters clothing being stuck to their body.. so maybe she would just make you clothing thats more masculine as well? im not sure on this one!

JAX:

doing jax first since he already got a similar post and i can use it as a basis; ive said this in that post as well as the ballora one but i think he would at least appreciate the dedication and hard work that goes into ballet... to like, fully commit to something like that impresses him you know? as for dysphoria, i think he would make it a point to call you more masculine terms. hes gonna be trying his best to try to help you with your dysphoria in the way that best helps you. lays off on his teasing on days where its worse

KINGER:

i am yet again distraught that i do not have many ideas for kinger this time, which is sad because hes my favorite character and i can relate so hard to the dysphoria thing... thinks.. probably throws all of his knowledge at you. i mean hes been in the circus for a while, hes probably seen at least a few people come and go; and sure what are the odds that he has some experience helping someone fight through their dysphoria... a boy can dream! takes you to his pillow fort and lets you stay for as long as you want

probably sits and watches you dance on a makeshift pillow thrown. claps when you're done, probably throws roses... i think caine would throw roses too except he would throw way more simply because he can literally. manifest as many as he wants

ZOOBLE:

i dont usually like sharing my lgbt hcs about characters out of fear that it would be met with discourse but if i recall correctly zooble doesnt really have a gender/a set one (if im wrong correct me!) so they understand the dysphoria thing; i think they would offer to let you hang out in your room and vent your feelings out. probably tries to give advice on how to feel better in general if you want advice, but if you want comfort theyre gonna do your best to give it to you. i dont think zooble would have much of an opinion on ballet; neither negative or positive, simply knowing thats its an art form! supports you if it makes you happy, though!

GANGLE:

while not the same thing, i like to think gangle used to do ribbon dancing in the real world... because... ribbon girl. see look im so so creative

but also i think it looks pretty

so you guys can bond over your hobbies! you might have to pry gangle to open up and talk about her interest in it, assuming she picks it up again in the digital world! as for dysphoria, i think gangle would be like zooble in terms of lending you some support; offers to help distract you if you dont want to tackle the issue at that point in time. i dont know about you, but sometimes i just, dont want to deal with my own dysphoria, but perhaps thats just a me thing

[cypionate60mg]

I just wanted to say I love what you’re doing omg… apologies if im totally missing the point by the way, I have only read some of ur responses to other asks and I’m not well read at all in the philosophy you talk about. Still I feel really seen by your posts or more accurately your posts feel exactly like my state of mind before committing to transitioning…. The repetitive and often kind of fleeting quality of the images you use reminds me of the obsessiveness I used to have over my (purposely unattainable) wishes of what I could be, the sort of wishes that don’t expect to be fulfilled unless pushed to the forefront by someone else, which the forcemasc does…. The captions are so raw and definitive that they feel half like someone else talking to me and half like my own repressed consciousness speaking what it can’t respectably say through someone else. most of the men being guys who I absolutely will not look like (I’m Asian and really short) adds to this because ur posts feel like the expression of an ideal fantasy, with all the caveats and problematic implications of creating an ideal fantasy of what being a man is based on your half-formed understanding of manhood through tv and the movies and whatnot… it rlly feels like trying to formulate an idea of what being a man would be like, without understanding or rlly comprehending the realities of life as the sort of man you will be. And in this way it’s like being on the precipice of taking the steps to actually realize the person you want to be, which you have some image of, but you really don’t know… the thing about transition (ime anyways) is that it highlights how who you are and who you want and what you value are all more intertwined and codeterminate than ppl think. I think many trans men eventually reach this point where they have to grapple with the question of what makes a man, anyways, besides a desire to be one? These posts feel like the state before unraveling any of that but you can see the strings so visibly there, waiting to be pulled on… Also one particular image you used a bit ago the one of the man and woman on the bicycle oh my god idk what it’s actually from but it felt so precisely like something I’d see while closeted and fixate on for weeks and weeks, creating a whole new image of it in my mind as a symbol of what could ideally be, stripping it of what it actually was while making it something more. Also your blog has felt very validating to me in my desire to turn away from wanting to be pretty, even as a man, which I feel is a box transmascs often get placed in against our will. Sorry this became an essay …. All of this is to say that I really appreciate your work and I’m excited to see where u go with it next !

Miss the point? I'd say quite the opposite. And no philosophy primer needed. If I were to go through, line by line, and find quotes of yours that I found incredibly salient and accurate to my own feelings, then I'd probably be copy-pasting your entire message. Very well-said.

There's also something to be said about being Asian and transmasculine. How it is burdened with uniquely specific assumptions about motivations for transition and rampant intracommunity fetishization. I try not to let it overwhelm me. Biting my tongue for now, but I have a lot to say about this. It's part of why I am painfully careful about whose photos I use, and with what text.

I'm relieved that you are able to pick out the intentional shortcomings of this project. The images show us fantasies of masculinity, and the captions do represent (to some degree) the frustration and neediness that comes from wanting to attain those ideals. They're that "repressed consciousness speaking what it can't respectably say", and I am that "someone else" for you, the viewer. I'll always be here to remind you that you should do it, you should chase after it anyway, because pursuing the impossible still changes you in a very real, palpable way.

"If you can't do it good, do it hard."

Thanks, anon. I hope I hear from you again.

Much love, CYP60MG

P.S. That movie is Rebels of the Neon God by Ming-liang Tsai. You should watch it.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 26

chapter 45:

1. bagels 100% count as breakfast. reg is right

2. why are these bagels destroying everyone?? i’m so upset! (i know why the bagels are upsetting everyone)

3. 😭😭 james cannot stay angry at reg. he’s now kissing him inside the lift

4. 😳😳😳 reg is bouta give james a blowjob in the lift

5. “”Sirius turns to James and flatly says, "Really?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So, you hate him, but you just can't keep your hands off him, is that it?"”

LMAO sirius boo let them be. they’re working it out in the worst way possible

6. narcissa 💕💕💕

7. AW HELL NAW!! GO NARCISSA! SHE PULLED THE BABY LINE!!!

8. i love that the crowd is going apeshit. first interview and the tributes are already giving the hallow absolute hell

9. “Narcissa likely isn't even pregnant—Sirius is almost one hundred percent certain she's not, considering their last conversation—but the Hallows don't know that, and they're pissed.” LMAOOOOOOO

10. “Sirius is practically vibrating, because as much as he might not like her, Bellatrix is next, and she's fucking insane. There's no way Rita is equipped to handle her; no one is, really.”

any mention of bellatrix has me so excited 😊 i love her insanity so much

11. 😳😧 i’m surprisingly enchanted by bellatrix’s flirting with rita. like- omg 😳

12. i’m so glad that every last victor is giving the hallow/rita/riddle absolute HELL

13. “Augusta weaponizes it against Rita, and if Rita didn't have mother-related issues before, she certainly does now.” godDAMN

14. “”Why don't we start with your reaping then?" Rita asks.

"Which one?" Sirius replies, arching an eyebrow.”

😭😭 stop rita is already being demolished and it’s ten seconds into her interview with sirius

15. the crowd is going fucking insane. i love this

16. “”Did you know, Rita, that a mere five minutes before the Quarterly Memorial announcement, James and I stood together in a kitchen and shared hot cocoa? He held me. We laughed. We were happy." He glances out at the crowd, seeing multiple stricken expressions, and he just keeps going, fucking ruthless about it. "I think that was the last time we got to be truly happy together. After all that we went through, all that we fought for, and we still ended up nothing more than a great, big tragedy."”

i’m losing my shit over here. i’m so sad, but also like, YES! GIVE THEM HELL!! all the victors are giving them absolute HELL and the blacks are the best at doing it, what with Narcissa “im pregnant” malfoy, bellatrix “flirting with the host” black, sirius “which reaping and i’m committed to one lover in the hallow” black, and regulus “we’re a great big tragedy” black

17. 😭😭😭😭 i take it back. it’s regulus “if it wasn’t for the wedding” black. this is fucking phenomenal

18. “Regulus promised himself he was going to make them pay, and he meant it. That's the promise he's chosen to keep.” CORRECT

19. go emmeline. she’s also giving them hell. straight up says that riddle broke rules and traditions. straight up

20. i love that eli stumbled across stage, claimed to be lovers to alphard, the hallow kept them apart, and then eli started drinking once alphard died. even ELI is throwing fucking punches

21. 😳 marlene straight up told rita to, and i repeat, “shut the fuck up”. i love her

22. 😧 gunshots in the hallow. this is chaos and i’m living for it. but i’m also so worried

23. you know what, fuck that severus bitch. he doesn’t even hesitate to tell riddle about marlene’s family and have them killed. i’m pissed that severus got a pov. (not blaming zar)

24. OMG READING AUTHORS NOTES!! REMUS WAS THE FIRST TO SURVIVE THE HORCRUX HORNET IMMUNITY!! HE HAS IMMUNITY!!!

[drdemonprince]

Re: an anon from November 15th: do you have advice on how become more comfortable with negativity? Because the White Woman Socialization Brain is strong with this one and I've had a couple of friends say it gives me a tone-policing problem

I'm going to depart from my usual gradual tolerance-building exercise approach here (though all that stuff still applies) and give you a more targeted recommendation:

I think you need to find a friend who can be a bit of a shitty little outrageous bitch in how they speak and emote, but who is at their core a wonderful, reliable, and morally stand-up person, and make a special place for them in your life.

The type of person who is not afraid to be disagreeable, who says "terrible!" and launches into a whole long rant about why when you ask them how their day is going and who will show up to your house with groceries when you are sick and start cooking and cleaning all around even when you've (lyingly) said you do not need the help. The type of person who will teach your nervous system that negativity is not bad, that ruining the vibe is sometimes needed, and that we can be good people even while not worrying about making other people feel good.

You can often locate such people in hard-core activist spaces, as the people steadily Doing the Work for years on end are unlikely to be motivated by soft, tender feelings, because those emotions sure don't keep in that line of work. You can also find them in places like AA programs (or SMART Recovery meetings, etc), support groups, queer discussion groups, book clubs, marxist reading groups, church groups, food kitchens, and any other gathering of people that is motivated by a strong ideological commitment or interest in intellectual pursuits but which can be rather dry or unpleasant in its execution of their ideals. you can also just like, throw a stone in places like New York or Boston or Philly and hit three to five people like these. Even as far out as Pittsburgh or Cleveland there is a lot of them.

Now, if you have chronic white woman everybody must be happy all the time syndrome (which really just means i will *make* everybody pretend to be happy or else im going to lose my shit), it can be tempting to fall in with someone who *seems* like a person like this, but who in actuality is a manipulative undermining abuser taking advantage of your tendency to excuse and downplay their many slights and offenses.

You do not want that. You want someone who can accept criticism just as readily as they dish it out. The kind of person who will fire off at the mouth but then go "oh dammit, youre right, i hate it but youre right" the moment you point out a valid flaw in their logic. Someone brash, but with a heart. Someone who can teach you that conflict is inevitable, and needed, and that saying something weird or off-putting is not the end of the world, and that arguing and complaining can actually bring you closer to someone when it is done authentically and from a place of good faith.

to find this person, keep putting yourself in places that align with the type of person you'd like to be, filled with people who are doing things with their lives that you admire. notice your initial reactions to people. who is off putting? is that a fair judgement? who are you afraid of upsetting? who expresses themselves in a way you'd never, ever dare to? most kind of unpleasant people wont be the special Prickly Friend for You, they'll just be kind of annoying people you dont want to be around. but at some point you will notice, hey actually, this person is a little off and irascible, but i notice they always come through for people. they might not be the most elegant in how they express their views, but when i think about it, i think they tend to be right. over time a person like that will prove themselves through their behavior and track record, and as you get more acclimated to their way of communicating, you'll find your voice of disagreement too.

good luck!

[nomsfaultau]

thank you so much for writing mandatory family reunion. i just reread it for the eighth time. i think im going to dedicate my life to life to reading your other sbi fics until you update again. also; do you have any tips for committing to fics and not leaving them half-finished?

ahhhh that’s so sweet glad you enjoyed! As for writing fics, having it be your special interest really helps. But for more general advice on finishing:

-Don’t stick to just one story. Which seems counter intuitive! But inevitably you’re going to hit a snag in one story. So instead of stopping writing at all, switch projects. Writing involves a whole bunch of thinking, and stuff needs time to percolate in the back of your head. But having a small project to work on in the mean time keeps you engaged in the writing process, gives you practice, makes you feel like you’re making progress, and allows time to work out the other story. I personally have 1-2 main projects, Fault and MFR, and then rotate a couple back burner stories that I work on whenever I get inspiration and fully expect to have very slow progress and possibly never finish. Short stories, one shots, hell even just writing little one off scenes that don’t go anywhere. It’s a way to keep writing fun and thus you’re more likely to continue working on the stuff you’re trying to complete. Don’t feel bad if there’s breaks between working on your main project. Writing involves a lot of thinking and it takes time to do that.

-Devoting time to do that thinking also significantly helps. When you’re falling asleep can be a good time to rotate stories in your head. Could also be if you’re walking from place to place, or brushing your teeth, or other little gaps in the day. Even if you’re not physically writing, it’s still part of the process and can make it easier when you actually sit down to write because you know what scene you’re most excited to work on. Also, talking over your story idea with a friend is a great way to stay motivated if you can get over the mortifying ordeal of being known. You can bounce ideas off them, and other people’s investment in a project can be a great motivator to finish. Like legit a single ao3 comment once stopped me from my plan to abandon a fic. Reminding yourself why you (and other people) like the story makes it easier to want to continue.

-Keeping a rough outline of what you envision for the story can give you a road map to how close to done you are and where to go next. Just like you can hop between projects, I find jumping around the plot time line to write what scene I’m most interested in atm keeps me going instead of writing everything in order. Though, all writers have different degrees of plot planning, so that depends on your style.

-Art! I’m an artist, and while writing definitely fuels what I draw, I find doodling cool scenes I want to write really inspires me to keep going. This sorta falls under the same category of continuing to think about the story and motivating you to finish. -I found keeping a writing journal has improved how I view my writing. Basically, I’ll jot down a bullet point list of scenes worked on that week/month. Writing is a very slow process, so seeing a timeline of actual progression on a story makes it feel like I’m actually getting more out of my head and onto paper. I also jot down what ideas for scenes I came up with since that’s also part of writing, and might include a chill no stakes writing goal for that period, like work on X or Y project, or a particular scene. Sometimes my goal is just ‘write at least one sentence’. I give it lots of leeway, and accept that the muse may just be somewhere else that week. And if the goal isn’t met, no sweat! Life can get busy at times and it’s more important that you aren’t beating yourself up if it’s been awhile since you last touched a project. Forcing yourself to write a scene that isn’t ready won’t result in a good scene or an happy writer. Switch projects, give yourself time to think about it, take care of yourself, etc.

And, legitimately, don’t be afraid to abandon a piece. Maybe you’ll come back to it, maybe you won’t. It can feel disheartening to feel like you can’t seem to finish a project, but unfinished pieces also do a lot for you: they hone your craft, allow you a creative outlet, give you scenes that could potentially be reworked for later pieces, and most importantly were hopefully fun to write! Story crafting is a hobby that should bring you joy, not frustration and shame.

Like, I have stories that will never see the light of day and are just so I can have fun and poke it with a stick occasionally. I’m 100% confident in saying that every author will have tenfold the number of unfinished wips compared to complete works. That’s just part of the creative process: exploring different worlds to find the one you want to write.

Perhaps a fic might never get finished, but in the wise words of Technoblade: “if you enjoy it, it’s not time wasted, no?”

(Now, I think he was talking about murdering people, but the point still stands.)

[amhrosina]

Peace (Matt Murdock x Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST FORM

A/N: This is probably my favorite request I’ve ever received! There’s just something about Matt Murdock & Taylor Swift that go together. I cried like three times writing this I JUST WANT MATT TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED! Thank you, @messymissy for requesting! <3

Requests are open!

Request: heii!! May i request a story with Matt Murdock based on Taylor Swift's song called 'Peace'. Thank youu love 💕 

Summary: A glimpse into your relationship with Matt, who believes you are too good for his love. It takes place over the course of one night, after Matt comes home with an excessive number of injuries and a newfound hatred of himself. Matt’s POV all played out over Taylor Swift's song 'Peace'.

(Warnings: HEAVY angst, Matty lets his guilt overwhelm him, sOFT!Matt Murdock, one line about smut maybe???, matt calliing reader 'petal' again because i didn't get enough of it the first time, im so sorry about this) 

Our coming-of-age has come and gone  Suddenly the summer, it's clear  I never had the courage of my convictions  As long as danger is near  And it's just around the corner, darling  'Cause it lives in me  No, I could never give you peace 

Matt Murdock was irrevocably in love with you – this was a fact, and yet, he still had trouble wrapping his head around the idea that you could feel the same way about him. It was a terrifying idea, that someone so whole and angelic could commit themselves to him – dangerous, reckless, broken.  

It was a fight he antagonized from you often, too often, these days. He thought if you could see his flaws, stare them in the face and gawk at his broken, aching soul, you’d realize your mistake in loving him. You never did, though.  

His knees rested on the soft carpet. Tears stained his cheeks as he listened to your stuttering breaths. Your fingers were like ice on his skin as you pulled the mask off his head and gently set it down next to him. The mask was in one piece, but he couldn’t say the same about the rest of his outfit. The tangy scent of blood overpowered his senses, and he was having trouble focusing on where you were in the apartment. 

A cold hand on his cheek had him gasping for oxygen, but he leaned into it, chasing the reprieve the chill brought him. He was on fire, skin burning with the beginning of infection. A dull ache had replaced anything he could physically feel a long time ago, and the only thing he could think of to describe the pain was a weariness of his bones. Aching, bruised, bloody, broken. He was tired, and all he wanted to do was send you away from his angry, bleeding soul. 

But you knew who Matt was when you let yourself fall in love with him. You knew what loving someone like Matt meant. He focused on the pressure of your fingers poking and prodding around his body as his senses began to return to him. The ‘world on fire’ allegory that he used to describe his sight felt insubstantial when it came to you. It didn’t fit the warmth he felt when you were near, or the calm hum that would overcome his body when you ran your soft hands over his skin.  

A world on fire? No, more like a warm cabin, heated by a crackling fire, soft hues of oranges and yellows painting the walls. The smell of cinnamon wafting from the kitchen, the dizzying hum of a record player in another room. 

Your hands, now warmed by Matt’s scorching skin, ran light circles over his chest, pulling his brain back to reality and out of the hazy fog he had fallen into as you worked on his injuries.  

He gripped your wrist, pulling your fingers to his lips. His soft kisses were apologies in their own right. I’m sorry I keep coming home bloody. I’m sorry you have to be the one to make me whole every night. I’m sorry if I’m not enough for you. I’m sorry that you have to love a monster like me, but please don’t leave me. 

Your fingers swiped under his closed eyes, wiping the tears that had gathered there. The achingly gentle kisses you placed on his eyelids broke his heart. I love you. I’ll never leave you. You are my safe place, Matty. 

But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm  If your cascade ocean wave blues come  All these people think love's for show  But I would die for you in secret  The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me  Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? 

Your hands grip Matt’s waist as he steps into the warm stream of water. A sigh passes through his lips, and he leans into you, resting his head on your shoulder. The bottom of the tub, a usual stark white, was tinted a rusty brown color as the night’s misfortunes washed off Matt’s skin. Matt can’t see this, of course, but he can smell it, and sense the tension you hold in your shoulders.  

The pattern you were drawing into his back left a harsh skittering of goose bumps in its wake. He tried not to groan at your soft touch, tried not to think about how you were too good for him, for this. The constant chaos that is Matt Murdock’s life would’ve scared anyone away, but you were still here, running your hands over his scars, new and old, and peppering gentle kisses into his shoulder.  

Matt pulled you into his arms. His hands, which had been resting on your lower back, began a slow ascent along your back until he was fully wrapped in your scent. When he cradled you like this, he felt grounded, unbroken, whole. His embrace tightened, and you held him with just as much force as warm tears made their way down his face and onto your skin.  

Things had been getting worse lately, and Matt was sure that he’d come home one day to find a half-empty apartment, your stuff packed up and gone, along with his heart. The guilt was eating him alive, and he wasn’t sure how he could ever face the world without you by his side. However, in moments like these, when you were so gentle and loving, he could only focus on the fact that you were here, safe in his arms. 

He kissed the space above your collarbone. I’ll always protect you. 

Another one, this time just below your jaw. I will never know another love like the kind you show me every night. 

Another, on the corner of your lips. I love you, more than you could ever know. 

A final one, on your lips. When you're around, I feel like I’m home. 

And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences  Sit with you in the trenches  Give you my wild, give you a child  Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other  Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother  Is it enough? 

 Later, after Matt had spent over an hour ravishing you against the shower wall, and then again in the bed you shared with each other, you were lying on your side, running your fingers through Matt’s hair. He hummed when your fingers lightly scratched the top of his head. 

The silence that usually overwhelmed the apartment on nights like these was both comforting and terrifying for Matt. Comforting, because it was the kind of silence that didn’t drive him absolutely crazy. When most people were silent around Matt, he had to find other noises to focus on, or else he’d be overwhelmed by the noises of the outside world, but when you were silent, he liked to listen to the steady drum of your heartbeat, a lifeline that he’s grown all too comfortable clinging to.  

“Matty?” Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper. It’s the first word you’ve spoken out loud since he stumbled through the front door hours earlier. 

“Petal?” His voice quivered as he spoke. Nothing in your tone indicated that you were planning on leaving him, but he couldn’t help the stutter in his heartbeat when you finally spoke to him on nights like these. 

But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west  I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best  But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me. Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? 

“You know I love you, right?” 

Matt nods and swallows thickly. 

“Am I telling the truth?” you asked, pressing Matt’s ear to your chest. Matt could hear your heartbeat from a mile away, sometimes more if he focused, but the intimacy of listening to your heartbeat at such close range was something he would always cherish. The steady beat of your heart told him what he was always searching for – reassurance that you loved him, that you would always love him, and that you would never leave him, even though he knew he deserved it. 

Matt’s face fell, tears welling up for the third time that evening. Your arms circled around him, kissing the tears as they fell from his eyes.  

“Matty, baby,” you whisper, planting a gentle kiss on his nose, “what’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours? Why is tonight so bad?”  

A sob fell from Matt’s mouth, and he squeezed his eyes shut, clinging to your arms as you tried comfort him.  

“I’ll never be able to give you what you deserve. I love you so much, and I know I should let you go so you can find someone who can give you everything, but I can’t. I can’t- You’re just so- I can’t breathe when you’re near me, and I can’t imagine my life without you.” 

Matt was close to hyperventilating, gasping in air at an alarming pace. He could tell you were shaking your head, even though he couldn’t physically see it. 

“You’re an idiot, Matthew Murdock, if you think I could love anyone else the way I love you. You’re the love of my life, Matt. Why would you think I want anyone else?” 

“What if I’m Daredevil for the rest of my life? What if it kills me? Where does that leave you?”  

“I knew the risks when we met, Matt. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much you try to convince me to leave. I love you, Matty. That means I love every piece of you, good or bad. It means I’m committed to you, like you are to me.” 

You took a breath and brought your finger up to his lips before he could argue with you. 

“Now, stop beating yourself up about this. I’m not going anywhere, and you can’t make me, you stubborn devil.”  

“What if it never gets better?” Matt is whispering, and he can’t tell if he’s asking himself or you, but you respond anyways. 

“Then we’ll weather the storm together, Matty. I’m yours. Forever. Always. That’s enough for me. I promise.” 

Matt couldn’t help himself when he focused on your heartbeat. It was strong, but steady. You were telling the truth – and his heart ached with love as he enveloped you in his arms.  

Matt knew tonight wouldn’t be the end of this self-hatred guilt trip, but for now, holding you in his arms, cradling you as you fall asleep, kissing your hair every few minutes. For now, that was enough for him, too. 

End Note: I did my civic duty and voted today in the mid-term election! I hope the people who can are planning on voting too!

Tag List:

@xleiaorgana @mukbee @soft-emo-enby @purple-amaranthe @kokoterainonago666 @blackwidownat2814 @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @messymissy @mylifeispainandiloveit @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @mymamalife

(@mymamalife i tagged you in this bc you mentioned the other day that you wanted to read more of my matt stuff but i can remove you from the list if you don't want to be on it!)

[angelst4re]

Hii its me (again) with a Caius request (pls tell me if im getting annoying with then i just love this Vampire sm) but i was gonna ask if you can do a angst then fluff? Again the reader is bellas sis, and it takes place in breaking dawn part 2 when they go to convince the volturi that renesmee isnt a vampire. The reader has been with Caius since new moon but she went to visit bella after she heard she was ‘sick’ and Caius gets m a d when he sees shes on bellas side. When a fight starts (but none of the volturi die like in alices vision) a wolf thinks the reqder is a vampire and attacks her. She has like no chance shes gonna survive so Caius turns her into a vampire and takes her back to Volterra and its all fluffy najsjsjsn omgs please tell me if thats too much i apologizee i have too much ideas😭 againnn i adore your work sm and youre one of the best Jamie writers i have readd❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

hi my love!!! ahh noo it's never annoying, i love getting requests :) (although right now i have 120+ which is mad! but it's always open for more!) but i loved this one so much and i'm thinking of possibly writing a part 2!! <3

Gods & Monsters- Caius Volturi x Reader

summary: in the request :)

warnings: none?

notes: i wrote this over three days so if there are any little plot holes or if something doesn't make sense then i'm sorry! it hasn't been proof read </3

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You had been with the vampire for an entire year now, and he still would deny changing you. You had tried reasoning with him, telling him it meant that you could live together forever, but he still insisted on you staying alive, keeping your soul. You already made certain commitments, such as living with him and even moving to Italy, but it seemed like it wasn’t enough. 

When you heard the news that your little sister was sick, you insisted that he took you to her, but he would not. It ended in an argument between the two of you, and you left that night, taking all your belongings with you. You told him you might return one day, you just needed some time alone and to take care of your sister, and if he were to follow you then you would never come back. 

When you got to the Cullen’s home, you were too afraid to look at Bella. You had never seen her so unwell, and even Jacob told you that he didn’t think she would make it. You would lie down beside her on the sofa, holding her cold body in your arms, and you wondered whether there was anything Caius could do to help- but you already knew what he thought about your sister and her husband. 

That night, Bella told you that she was pregnant, and that’s what was causing her to feel so sick. You reassured her that she’ll be okay, but everyone was worrying that she wouldn’t make it through the birth, even Edward had his doubts. Carlisle said she would go into labour in the next few days, and you worried that it meant she only had a few more days to live. 

In a panic, you left that night to return to Volterra, to return to Caius. You knew he wouldn’t show you any sympathy, afterall, he despised your sister, but he welcomed you back with open arms, letting you cry into his chest. 

For days, you had tried not to think about it. You had distracted yourself with books from Caius’s library, and had gotten through three in one day. However, your mind would eventually go elsewhere as you read, and you would worry about Bella again. Caius insisted you spoke to him about it, he could tell something was really upsetting you, but you didn’t dare to say a word about it. You knew his response would be something along the lines of ‘she’s done it to herself, she could have prevented it’ and although it did seem to be the truth, you weren’t ready to face it just yet. 

To your surprise, you woke up one night and Caius wasn’t in the room with you. He would never leave you alone, especially at night, so there was either two reasons for this:

One, being that he had something important and urgent to attend to.

Two, something bad has happened to him.

You hoped for the first one, and so you slipped out of the covers and wrapped your fluffy red robe around you, before leaving your room. You could hear talking, but you couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from. 

“The Cullen’s, they have done something terrible.”

You creeped closer to the heavy metal doors, where you assumed the voices were coming from, but it was almost impossible to hear what they were saying. However, you worried they would hear you, or sense that you were there, so you fled back to your room and waited for Caius to return. 

When he finally returned, you instantly started to question him. You knew he had set rules, and one of them was to not listen in to any conversations that would happen in that room, but you didn’t care about that right now, you only cared about your sister. 

“What’s happened? Is Bella okay? Has she given birth yet? Caius, please, answer me!” 

He sighed, as if you were bothering him.

“She’s fine. It’s not your sister that’s the problem right now, it’s the child that she was seen with.” He shook his head lightly, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening, “we’ve been informed it’s an immortal child. Do you know what that means?” 

You shook your head, adjusting your posture slightly as you sat up on your bed. 

“Then don’t worry about it, darling, we’re already working on sorting out this… situation.” 

“What does that mean?” You asked, “if you lay so much as a finger on my sister-”

“I told you,” Caius spoke, beginning to lose his patience, “it isn’t your sister that we’re concerned about.” He said before leaving the room. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You knew Caius said he wasn’t going to hurt Bella, but you couldn’t help but fear something terrible was going to happen- and you were glad you trusted your instincts. You were currently by Bella’s side, squeezing her hand reassuringly as you walked. You warned her that the Volturi knew about her daughter, and Alice had already had a vision that the Volturi were planning to punish the Cullens for what they had assumed had happened. 

As the Volturi arrived, you couldn’t help but worry about what Caius would do when he saw you with your sister, you even felt a little nervous when he looked at you, giving you a look that called you foolish. You knew how ruthless and sadistic he could be, but you would never in a thousand years believe he would hurt you. 

You gave Bella one last smile before you let go of her hand, letting her take Renesmee's as your eyes found their way back to Caius. You don’t think you have ever seen him look so angry before. 

Aro and Carlisle spoke, whilst Bella began to whisper to you, 

“Do you think everything will be okay?” 

“Of course,” you said, trying to believe it yourself, “I promise.”

“Aro,” Carlisle began, “let us discuss things as we used to, in a civilised manner.” 

“Fair words, Carlisle,” Aro spoke, “but a little out of place given the battalion you have assembled against us.” 

“I can promise you, that was never my intent. No laws have been broken.” 

“We see the child,” said Caius, his eyes focused on you as he spoke, “do not treat us as fools!” He snarled, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. 

“She is not an immortal!” Carlisle declared, but Aro wouldn’t give in so soon, he wanted proof, evidence- and he wanted it from Edward. 

So far, everything was going great for your side, and you even grinned smugly at Caius, who seemed to be getting more outraged by the second. Especially after Alice turned up, Jasper by her side. And in mere moments, the fight you were all anticipating had begun. 

Aro raised his arms, staying put with Marcus and Caius by his side whilst everyone else began to charge at each other. Kicks and punches were being thrown, wolves were leaping from vampire to vampire, in hopes of beheading their enemies. You weren’t too sure what to do, or where to go, as you were neither wolf nor vampire, and you felt like this wasn’t really your battle to fight. 

You watched in horror as people from both sides would fight, until you heard a low growl from behind you, before your body was flooded by fear and a sharp, agonising pain. 

The last thing you saw before it all went black was the pure shock and fear on Caius’ face before he dashed over to you. 

The wolf that bit you was chased off by another vampire, as Caius picked your limp body off of the snowy ground, holding you in his arms as he fell to his knees. In this moment, he could only care about one thing- and it was you. He couldn’t lose you, he had told you about his wife that had died whilst he was still human, and how he blamed himself for it everyday, and he knew he couldn’t let it happen again. There was only one way to save you, and as his teeth sunk into your skin he whispered a soft apology to you. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Where am I? Caius? What happened?” You asked, blinking what felt like sleep away from your eyes. 

“Oh my- You’re okay!” Caius cried, a wide smile plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms around you, stopping you from sitting up, “I was so, so worried I’d lose you, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for?” You asked, with a soft chuckle. 

“Don’t you remember what happened?” He asked, stroking your cheek with his thumb, feeling devastated at how your once warm skin was now ice cold, like his. 

You shook your head, looking at him cluelessly. 

“That’s okay, you’ve only just woken up,” he said with a gentle smile as your now red eyes met his, “we have forever together now anyway, you got your way, darling.” 

“What happened to Bella? And Renesmee?” 

“They’re perfectly fine, my love.” He told you, “she isn’t what we suspected, Bella and the Cullens are fine.”

You let out a sigh of relief, and smiled up at Caius. 

“Can I hold you?” He asked, and you felt your tummy swarm with butterflies. 

“Yes please.” You grinned. 

He sat down beside you on the bed and pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you and placing his hands on your waist, pressing careful kisses to your forehead. 

“I love you.” He said, taking you by surprise. You turned your face to look at him, clearly he was joking! But as you looked at him you saw nothing but adoration in his eyes, “I’m never letting you leave my side ever again, okay? In all the years I’ve lived, I don’t think I’ve felt such fear as I did when I thought I was going to lose you.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Caius,” you assured him, “I love you.” 

His hand that previously stroked your cheek came down to your chin, slipping his finger underneath and capturing your lips with his. As he kissed you, you moved slightly, so you were sat on his lap, straddling his hips as he held you against him, not breaking the kiss for the slightest moment now that you didn’t need to pause and catch your breath. “So when do you think we should start planning the wedding?” Caius asked, jokingly. However, you both knew that neither of you would be opposed to getting married, from the moment you first met him you knew he was special, there was something about him that you couldn’t help but fall in love with. However, you couldn’t believe that Caius, who was infamous for being the most cruel and sadistic member of the volturi, loved you, and he would do anything for you.

[ssprayberrythings]

Christmas Through The Years - Part One

The Start

‘Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female!reader’

Huge thanks to @fandomxpreferences for taking the time to read this over before I posted it!! <3

Approx. 1.6k words

Warnings: none, it’s all fluff. I’m a hopeless romantic I couldn’t help it !!

—

Meeting Jake Seresin came so unexpectedly but it’s not something I’d change for the world. When we met it was at the Hard Deck, I had been dragged out by some friends for a girl’ night. As we got to the bar, I told the group I’d get the first round despite the reluctance to actually go out. Regardless it was why I found myself at the bar waiting to put my order through for drinks. He came over to get a refill and right as our eyes met, there was just an instant connection that neither of us could really explain, we just knew we wanted to see where it could take us. Him being his usual flirty self, turned his body and after we got past the flirty introductions and pick up lines from Jake, we kept the conversation going. We didn't even realize that we both had our drinks, and exchanged numbers. By the end of the night I had two 2 messages from an unknown number

“Hey. It’s Jake”

“Send me your address, Im taking you on a date tomorrow. Dress comfy!”

Fast forward a couple of weeks, now into December and it was going great with Jake. We went on a couple more dates, got to know each other better, and had a couple lazy days together when our schedules were in sync. Overall, everything was going in the right direction.

To anyone else it would look as if we were a committed couple and even to us it felt that way. However we still hadn't had the talk of ‘what we were’ and so doubts about whether this was real lingered in the back of my mind. Last Friday I found myself sitting at home, ordering some last minute gifts for my family when there was a knock on my door. I put my laptop down and got up from my spot in the corner of my living room to walk toward the door. I opened it and saw Jake there.

“Hi, I thought you didn't finish work till later?” I ask as I step aside to let him in. “Mav let us leave earlier because its Friday. Plus I think he had plans of his own to get to.” he chuckled as he took his boots off. He turned to me, took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around my waist before leaning down and giving my lips a sweet kiss that brought a smile to my face. “Well I am thankful for Mav and his Friday plans.” I tell him as we pull away and Jake chuckles.

I take his hand to lead him back to my spot on my couch and we sit down next to each other, getting comfy. “Did you have a good day?” he asked as I scooted closer, putting my legs over his lap as he put his arm across the back of the couch “Yeah, I went to the gym this morning, picked up some groceries while I was out, then came home and cleaned up a bit. I just now finished my Christmas shopping.” I told him, smiling as he listened to me ramble on.

That was one thing about Jake Seresin. Although he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut with everyone else, when it came to you, he could listen to your voice all day and never get tired of it. “Sounds like quite the productive day” he responded playing with a stray hair that had fallen from my messy bun. “I wanted to ask you something actually now that you bring up Christmas. Would you be interested in coming to a Christmas party Mav and Penny are having at the Hard Deck?” he offers with a certain glee in his eyes.

“Of course, I would love to! When is it?” I ask. “It’s December 23rd. So next Thursday.'' he answers my question, unable to hide the grin on his face knowing he’ll get to introduce his girl to everyone. “Sounds good, can't wait!” I told him, genuinely excited.

The rest of the night was spent talking about the holidays, sharing stories on how we spent the holidays growing up, and what our favourite traditions were. We continued the Christmas conversation as we made dinner together, laughing with one another at certain points in our stories and then ended the night cuddling on the couch watching Home Alone.

The week seemed to fly by and now I’m standing in front of my mirror observing the finished look for the Christmas party. I had gone out the day prior and bought the outfit I was wearing. I paired black leather pants that stopped right before my ankles with simple black heels and a dark red long sleeve bodysuit that showed off my shoulders. It contrasted perfectly with the gold jewelry I chose.

As I was touching up my lipgloss, there was a knock at my door indicating Jake was here. I opened the door and took a second to admire the man standing in front of me. He was wearing black dress pants and a deep maroon button up with the first couple buttons undone. His hair was still visibly wet from the shower he had taken and he opted out of styling it with his usual hair gel. It made him look even better than he normally did, which I didn't think was possible.

“You like what you see?” he smirked, pulling me out of checking him out. I just blushed in response and turned to get my jacket while he chuckled. He loved making me blush.

—

Jake was a gentleman through and through. When we arrived at the Hard Deck, he put the car in park and opened the door for me like usual. “Thank you.” I smiled as he shut the door. “Anything for my girl.” He winked while offering his arm and we walked to the entrance of the Hard Deck.

Once inside I saw the decorations Penny had put up and smiled. There was a tree in the corner and everything looked so beautiful. Jake led us towards the dagger squad who were all dressed just as nice as you and Jake were.

“Ayyye! Hangman joins us.” Coyote said once we were close, and Jake just chuckled at his friend. “Hangman, who's the pretty lady on your arm?” Rooster asked with a smirk. He was already 2 drinks in so his usual flirtiness was turned up a few notches

“Back off Bradshaw, she's here with me.” Jake said slightly possessive but not meaning anything rude by it. Rooster just put his hands up and chuckled. Jake introduced me to the rest of the group, and everyone took a liking to me almost immediately.

Throughout the night I got separated from Jake but I didn't mind, settling into a conversation with Natasha. She’s grateful not to be the only girl in the group anymore.“So how long have you and Hang-” she started but then stopped herself. “Jake, I mean. How long have you and Jake been dating?” she finished her question, and I made a face while chuckling.

“Well we aren't official yet.” I told her, taking a sip of the drink Jake had gotten me earlier. “Wait seriously?” she questioned, shocked you guys weren't official. “I’ve never seen him so head over heels before. There’s no way you're not his girlfriend.” she continued and I just shrugged.

“I mean I want us to be official, but I also don't know how to bring it up to him.” I shared with the fellow female, hoping for some guidance. “I would say just be upfront with him and ask him.” she advised. Before I could reply to her, Jake came over. “Sorry Phoenix, but I’m stealing my girl back.” he told her as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and walked me to the other side of the room.

He stopped right in the hallway that led to the washrooms. “Is everything okay?” I had to ask, and he just smirked while darting his eyes above the two of us. I followed his eyes, and of course there was mistletoe hanging. I looked back at Jake and he was already looking at me.

I knew I had to ask him now or else I never would, which wasn't an option. As Jake started leaning in, I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Jake, wait” I said, seeing the confusion in his eyes before continuing.

“I know this is about to sound extremely middle school-like but I have to ask you. What are we?” I asked, looking at him, and he still seemed confused by my question “I mean, are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” I asked more directly. He chuckled in response and now it was my turn to be confused.

“Babe what did you think we'd been doing this whole time if we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend?” he asked as he pulled me a bit closer. “I know we never said it officially, but I thought it was just an unspoken thing.” he told me smiling.

I didn’t know what to say to that and as I tried to think of something to say, he continued speaking. “I'm sorry I just assumed, I should've asked you earlier.” He apologizes. “ Will you officially be my girlfriend?” he asked, looking at me with pure adoration as he moved a strand of hair behind my ear.

I looked in his eyes and knew he was being sincere when he asked. Afraid to speak, I just nodded as a small smile made its way to my face. He smiled and leaned down, this time not being stopped by my hand and we shared our first “official” kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend under the mistletoe.

“You know I’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe before now” I told him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Jake just smiled and leant down to kiss me again. This was something he could get used to doing.

—

Okay this is my first ever published piece of writing for a fictional character which is why I really hope this is good so please leave any comments you have!! I’m excited to share this series with everyone and will definitely work quickly to get the others out !!

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[teddypickerry]

I really love your writing<3 I was wondering if you can write a lorelai gilmore x fem!reader where rory comes home to see rose petals on the ground trailing to lorelais bedroom then walks in and sees them making out?

𝐞𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬.

— pairings! lorelai gilmore x female reader

— word count! 1.9k

— warnings! mentions of sex, mentions of fem physical apparence (long hair, wearing a dress, etc.), eating, etc.

— a/n! this took me way too long to get to but HI IM HERE. request things guys!! also, i promise i’m working on the red chronicles. it’s just slowly coming out overtime it’s not actually going to be out completely before 2023. but yeah. IM BACK. also this is unedited so don’t judge for the mistakes 😭

eumoirous: happiness due to being honest & wholesome

stars hollow was the dream town. it was a town full of popcorn smells, charming classic stores that had been there a hundred years, and people full of love. one woman in particular caught your attention the moment you moved to town. being new in such an old-timer town, full of such a tight knit group, was impossible. the judgmental looks and small town talks. you were in town for an hour and met one person, your neighbor andrew. and a rumor about you moving to start in a new life because you committed vehicular manslaughter was the new gossip.

despite the lack of welcome from the town with a population of one thousand, seven hundred, and seventy-nine. there was one person that happened to like the smile on your face as you unpacked your floral lamp from the truck. your hair pulled back in a ponytail, your moving clothes already causing a stain. two girls approached you from the sidewalk, two coffees in their hands. the taller one was the first to speak, something weird you couldn't focus on the moment you looked into her bright eyes. it was when the shorter one, with lighter hair, smiled at you. "hi, you're the new girl. the talk of the town."

"guess so," you had chuckled nervously as you wiped your hands against your jeans and held it toward for the young girl to shake. she didn't seem older than seventeen or eighteen. but she had a warm smile. "nice to meet you, i'm rory. this is my mom, lorelai. welcome to stars hollow."

"thank you. i'm y/n." you had responded chirping with a bright grin. happy that you had found some normal human beings in this small town. the two (very weakly) helped you carry in a few items. until rory had to head off to school that morning. leaving you alone with lorelai gilmore, an inn owner you had learned. the two of you couldn't hold in the laughter as she helped you unpack a few things. the unpacking leading to way too much spiked coffee and laughs on the still wrapped couch. the two of you talked for hours and you hadn't ever felt so close to someone so quickly.

you started with flowers out of your vintage van. painted sage green with your logo in a light yellow. paintings of flowers lined the outside, something you had done your own. it was incredibly beautiful and special. driving around to the local businesses to sell flowers to those who wanted them. after a day of selling several sets of roses, tulips, sunflowers, daises and any other flowers you found beautiful. it was when you stopped for dinner at the local diner, luke's. one lorelai raved about to you days ago. the moment you stepped in you noticed the two girls once again. both ushered you over and you enjoyed a dinner with the two full of way too much junk food. that the diner man scolded you for.

it had been three years since that night. since the night you and the gilmore girls had become quite personal with one another. you honestly would consider the two your family by now. lorelai being there when you had the flu for a week. and you being there for rory's first day of college, the opening of lorelai's inn, the day your dear mother died — two many breakups on all of your behalfs. the three of you were inseparable. you were an honorary gilmore.

the first rule of the gilmore girls is no secrets. at least that's what they told you when you were welcomed into their family years ago. so when you and lorelai held a deepened secret from rory, something you had hidden for months at this point. you had started dating lorelai gilmore exactly two months ago. but your feelings for one another had lasted for longer than you could ever know.

hiding the relationship from rory was a wish made by lorelai the moment the two of you first shared a kiss. you understood it and still did. rory was always her priority, something you admired. she didn't want to do this and tell rory if it would just mess up the relationship and make it messy. but after two months, you could feel the annoyance grow. "i'll tell her another time" or "she's stressed right now, i don't want to make her shave her head!" or even "it's not the right time."

you were falling in love with her — three years in the process. this wasn't some rash decision to hide and you started to feel like you had just moved to town again. lorelai was embarrassed of you, in your mind at least. but the weeks without rory as she prepped for her midterms at harvard made being annoyed at lorelai even more difficult. too much alone time and too many kisses. god, you loved her so much.

the night of your second month anniversary was something you had been planning for days. it was four-thirty when you used your spare key to get into the gilmore house. an hour before lorelai would be off work. you decorated the house in several bouquets of roses, specifically in her bedroom. starting on dinner, something simple but absolutely delicious. a dish you had learned when you were little and known your entire life. you made it often but lorelai loved it so — it seemed perfect. by the time you had changed into a dress that you knew would make your girlfriend drool, she was already walking through the door.

a black dress covering her torso matching a sparkling cardigan. she looked as beautiful as ever, a bright smile on her face as she threw her purse on the chair. her eyes locked on you. "burglars break into houses looking that hot? i didn't see that in home alone."

"happy anniversary, lor." you greeted as the girl walked forward, firmly pressing her lips to yours. it felt much needed and much desired. her hand danced through your hair, her other brushing the waist on your dress. your lips danced for a moment as you pulled away in a hum. a pout proudly held on lorelai's face. "more kiss, or die!"

you pressed your lips to hers one more time. preparing for a simple kiss before you dined together. except, the kiss led way farther than anticipated. your arms wrapping around one another as she pushed you back lightly into the wall. your hand grasped the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into you. there were moments of the kiss until you pulled apart. a look lost on your face, a familiar one as you grabbed her hand and ran upstairs and into her room. the food could wait.

it was only moments later that the front door opened. a pair of boots clicking. rory gilmore took off her shoes and her jacket, her eyes glancing around the room. she noticed her mother and her family friend's cars outside. they were here unless they decided to walk to luke's in the spring weather. the girl immediately smelled the food on the stovetop — filling her nose quickly. rory made her way into the kitchen, noticing the hot food. she took a bite of it with a goofy grin. a shuffle from upstairs catching her attention.

"mom!" rory called out through the house, the food muffling her voice. she heard no reply and made her way up towards the stairs. hoping it wasn't some stars hollow axe murderer. she was already upstairs when she and noticed the roses, tilting her head in confusion. she had seen the movies, she knew of the romantic gesture. but her mother lacked any relationship in her life. i mean maybe she had seen a little over happy the past few months but that was nothing crazy for lorelai gilmore. so rory entered with caution, hoping to a) not find a killer b) not find her mother naked. guess which was half wrong!

"what the- ah!" rory screeched as she ran back in the hallway upon her current viewing. lorelai gilmore had never jumped up so fast, throwing her dress back over her exposed bra. her girlfriend sat below her, widened eyes. she attempted to fix her messy hair as lorelai ran after her daughter. "rory!"

"mh... i'm leaving!" the girl yelled as she ran down the stairs, her mother trailing behind her. "where did you get this athletic genes, jesus!"

"i'll just leave you guys- girls to it! ha, um." rory entered the foyer before her mother stopped her. rory gilmore had never expected to see what she saw. she always saw y/n y/l/n as a family figure, as someone truly important to her. and she knew her mother felt the same way but not this way. "rory, c'mere. i- darn you. i need to talk to you."

the girl huffed as she turned to face her mother. "you missed a rose petal there," she mumbled as she pointed to the petal in the woman's hair. she formed a small smile as she wiped it out of her own hair. a hand holding her daughter's forearm. "rory, i'm sorry. i- i should have told you i know. but i didn't want to ruin your relationship with her."

"ruin relati- just. mom, what?" the girl's voice went extremely high. only dogs being able to hear her at this point. lorelai wrapped her arms around herself as she sighed, you coming up from behind the both of them. rory gave you and awkward look, it being difficult to look at you at this moment. knowing you were just about to nail her mother. "look, rory, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. but i was scared. because i know this-" she ushered between you and her. "-is something new. and just something you're not used to. i didn't want to scare you away or frighten you in anyway. i'm still mom, and y/n's still y/n."

the girl sighed softly as she looked between the both of you. she brushed a hand through her hair turning towards you. "are you serious about her? like you're not gonna pull a brad pitt?"

"so serious, rory, i promise. you're mother means everything to me and i'm sorry you were left out of this. because even though it's our relationship, you are your mother's first concern and responsibility. you come first and you also do in my book as well. you know i love you kid. so you should have been involved, because this affects you just as much as it does us." you explained making lorelai bite her lip. she felt bad for keeping this from rory. she knew this was her fault. but she also knew, what you just said, meant everything to her.

"well okay," rory smiled softly as she leaned forward and pulled you into a hug. following then by hugging her mother who looked at you over her shoulder. a look of apology on her face as you flashed her a small smile — one forgiving. "so, um... the fancy dinner and petals? i'm assuming this is a celebration of some sort."

"two months. two very amazing months," lorelai smiled towards you as she reached for your hand and squeezed it tightly. resulting in a smile from the girl you had watched grow up. "well congratulations guys. i love you both."