#incorrect bucky

[marvel-lous-guy]

Bucky: what happened to you?

Steve: There was this asshole in an alleyway and I tried to fight him so I said "life is short! Smile while you still have teeth"

Bucky: why

Steve: I thought it was a cool line

Bucky: That would be a good line if you could actually knock anyones teeth out

Steve: *smiles to show a missing tooth and a chipped tooth* i did break some teeth, actually

Bucky: you just need to work on your aim

[brnesblogposts]

[Y/n walking out of the bathroom]

Bucky: Baby? What’s wrong?

Y/n: Nothing, why?

Bucky: It looks like you’ve been crying, your eyes are all red.

Y/n: Oh.

Y/n I was plucking my eyebrows

[firegal19]

Y/n: If I died, would you find a new girlfriend? Bucky: That’s a bullshit question, I’m not letting you die

Y/n: But what if was something out of your control? Like a car accident or I got cancer?

Bucky: Then I’m marching into hell and dragging your ass back out

Y/n: What if I was at peace in the afterlife, like I didn’t want to come with you?

Bucky: I don’t care what you want, you think I’m living without you?

Y/n: Awww. What. How do you know I’ll be in hell?

Bucky: Because you’re a heinous bitch, that’s why I love you

[gothgoddess2010]

Y/n: Ok Thor, you need to get some sleep. You have been awake for 3 days now. Loki: Yes brother, I agree with Y/n. You need sleep

Thor: I do not need sleep. She’s just trying to poison me with her meatloaf

Bucky and the other avengers: *shocked that Thor would say that*

Narrator: And that’s when he (Thor) knew, he fucked up. Y/n: Brother? Did you just insult my cooking? Thor: Nope, I didn’t say that. Loki: I’m not going to hold her back. Y/n: *reaching for her dagger*

Bucky: Thor, if I was you… I’d run. Thor: *running away*

Y/n already chasing him: THOR ODINSON, GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!!

Loki: James, you’re not going to hold Y/n back? I mean, she is your girlfriend. Bucky: No, I’m not. Thor ate my pop tarts. Loki: Huh, Thor ate mine too. That’s why I’m not going after Y/n too. Thor in the distance: OW!!! I said I was sorry! Y/n: I don’t care. Jarvis: Mister Stark, it appears that Miss Y/n stabbed Mister Thor in the left arm 5 times. Tony slapping himself in the head. Not again.

[painted-doe]

[welovelouisandbucky]

Me: *gets periods* *sighs*

Also me: *searches x reader period fics on Tumblr/ao3*

[incorrectmarvelquotesss]

Sam: Bucky isn’t answering his phone.

Y/N: I’ll call him.

Steve: Sam and I have both tried six times. What makes you think—

Bucky: Hey, doll.

[buckysforeverprincess]

Y/N: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Bucky : Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Y/N: I—

Y/N: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[white-wolf-actually]

That boy never minded him own business a day in his goddamn life.

[lives-in-midgard]

Y/N: Can you do the thing?

Bucky [grumpy]: What thing?

Y/N: You know, the thing that makes me so happy.

Bucky: Oh. [starts to smile]

Y/N: Thank you honey.

Bucky: You're welcome doll. [pulls y/n into a hug]

[super-marvel-dc]

Steve: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Bucky, Wade, and Y/N: Ok.

Steve: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Bucky: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Y/N: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Wade: Bold of you to assume I can die.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Sam: I'm still not over that time you ripped out my steering wheel while I was still driving!

Bucky: first off, the time I WHAT!? Second off, that wasn't my fault! I was brainwashed! Now I'm a person again!

Sam: Oh please, you're less a person and more a loose collection of personality flaws

[womp-womp-chomp-chomp]

Sam coming home to find Bucky watching strange unsolved mysteries: whatcha doing?

Bucky, watching intently: seeing how many of these was me.

Sam: …how many did you find so far?

Bucky: around 8, I’m still not sure about the one.

Sam: 😨

[firegal19]

Sam: You can’t skip mandatory therapy

Bucky: But I had a good reason!

Sam: What?

Bucky: …

Sam: *sighs* Was it Y/n-related?

Bucky: *nods slowly*

Sam: God damnit Bucky

[gothgoddess2010]

Bucky: HELP! I TOLD Y/N THAT I WOULD COOK DINNER TONIGHT, BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Steve pouring milk into a bag of cereal: And you thought I could help? 🤨🤨

[romanoffshouse]

Kidnapper: We have your boyfriend.

Steve: You have Bucky?

Kidnapper: Yeah

Steve: Good luck with that.