#incorrect bucky

[incorrecttmarvell]

steve, age 15: i’m getting us fake IDs

bucky: to drink?

steve: to vote

[buckybarnesrants]

(Bucky's response to any critique of his behavior)

Steve: Bucky please put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Bucky: 70 YEARS OF HYDRA BRAINWASHING STEEB. THERE WERE NO DISHES OR DISHWASHER IN HYDRA THEY FED ME THROUGH A TUBE

Sam: Bitch use a damn glass that OJ is TO SHARE.

Bucky: THERE WERE NO GLASSES IN HYDRA SAMUEL. HYDRA NEVER TAUGHT THE ASSET TO SHARE.

Steve: Bucky could you just be quiet for a bit? I can't think.

Bucky: HYDRA MUZZLED ME FOR 70 YEARS STEEB BUT OKAY I GUESS I'M USED TO IT.

[widowscourage]

Sam: Hi, I’m Bucky’s emergency contact?

Receptionist: Are you here to pick him up?

Sam: Ha! No, I’m here to be removed as his emergency contact.

[purple-babygirl]

Spotify ad: Listen to Your Favorite Music Without Ad Interruption Now With Spotify Premium! Ready to Go Premium? Tap the Banner to Learn More! Bucky: *pokes Bruce*

[marvelnatasha]

Y/N: hey babe can you do me a favor?

Bucky: i would willingly die for you, but continue

[gothamsglam]

Bucky: all I want is peace😌

His Therapist, slamming her hands down on the table: BULLSHIT

Bucky: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

[40sbucky]

bucky: how did you find me?

sam: we put "bitch" in the GPS and it led us here.

[clownsandmarvel]

Bucky has almost electrocuted himself trying to plug in the coffee machine/toaster with his metal arm at least once.

[incorrecttmarvell]

peter: listen. FUCK trains

bucky: this guy gets it

[buckybarnesrants]

Bucky: Hi. I'm Bucky.

Tony: HANDS OFF MY SCIENCE BRO.

Bucky: Surely you know how to share. If Bruce doesn't mind of course 😉

Bucky (to Bruce) : I'll share my Stevie with you.

Steeb: HEY. (Blushing furiously because this was entirely his fault.)

Sam (from somewhere in the background) : I THOUGHT HYDRA NEVER TAUGHT YOU TO SHARE

Bucky: They didn't. I learnt it from Peggy.

Steve: BUCKY.

Bruce: A two for one deal huh. I think I could be convinced.

Bucky: Yussss

Steeb: 🥴

Sam: 😱

Tony: 😱

Bruce: 😊😇

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Bucky: I thought we were friends. Sam: That got boring.

[pochilovesloki]

Steve: So... I asked her out.

Loki: Hold on, you date girls? But the bear gay vibes, big ass and muscles?! And that really touching story about your friend Bucky here? I thought you are secretly together.

Steve: W-what? No! I'm not gay!

Tony: I'm with Loki. You're an awkward closet gay, Cap and there is nothing bad or wrong about it, really, ya know?

Steve: *blushing* I know, but really I'm not-

Bucky, patting Steve's shoulder: You're burying yourself Steve. Just say your info guys too and let's call it a day.

Bucky, whispering so only Cap can hear: So we can have some fun time together.

Steve: You are unbelievable, all of you! *walks away angrily blushing*

[insaneasgardian]

Magic Cat

Bucky: Y/N! Look at this cool trick my cat can do.

Y/N: I don't see a cat...

Bucky: I know! Isn't she amazing?

[lis-likes-fics]

Me: Everybody, shut up! *picks up phone* Hey, Mom.

Steve: HIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Tony: Come back to bed!

Clint: *various sex noises*

Thor: Tell her I said hi.

Bucky: Aye! Pass the weed!

Natasha: *blasting out curse words*

Bruce: LOKI PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

Me & Loki: Said no one ever.

[40sbucky]

bucky: you know you might be the most high-maintenance bitch i know.

steve: "might be"? there's someone else? who are they?

[bucketbarnhouse]

steve: you know me

bucky: no I don’t!

steve: