#incorrect harlots quotes

[maze-mind]

TMR IVY TRIO INCORRECT QUOTES

———

Minho: I'm the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

———

Newt: When you said 'magic in bed', I wasn't expecting this.

Thomas: *Hold up an 8 of Clubs* Now, was this your card?

Newt: How in the bloody hell—

———

Minho: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement.

Minho: Update, she got a new partner, and I can no longer make the joke.

———

Newt: This bloodline ends with me.

Thomas: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say, "I'm gay."

———

Newt: There. How do I look?

Thomas: Like a cheap French harlot.

Newt: French?!

———

Newt: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Thomas: Certainly, I'm as sure as—

Minho: Now I can say we're *definitely* lost.

———

Newt: What's the height of stupidity?

Minho: Uh.. Thomas, how tall are you?

[scoutswritingcorner]

Incorrect Quotes with Chauffer Reader and Alastor!

Chauffeur Reader, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Alastor: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: *Locks Alastor in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child. Alastor: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car? ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: Bonjour, Alastor. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi? Alastor: No, I don't want to sleep with you. Chauffeur Reader: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor. ~~~~~~ Alastor: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Chauffeur Reader: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Alastor: That one. I want that one. ~~~~~ Alastor: I’ve only had Chauffeur Reader for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza. Alastor: What? Chauffeur Reader: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom. Alastor: So a calzone? Chauffeur Reader: You can’t just name things I dream up. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: I want to kiss you. Alastor, not paying attention: What? Chauffeur Reader: I said if you die, I wont miss you. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: There. How do I look? Alastor: Like a cheap French harlot. Chauffeur Reader: French?!

[luxthestrange]

OP Incorrect quotes#46 Yes Cheap-

You and Mihawk were looking for new outfits for adopted kids Perona & Zoro when it turned into a little fashion show for your goth pillow princess of a boyfriend...

Mihawk*Comes out wearing a more revealing outfit...more so for you to show him off*There, How do I look?

Y/n: Like a cheap French harlot

Mihawk: Cheap!?

Part 4 of:

[asmodeus-682]

Random Hazbin Hotel scenario quotes.

(Not exactly incorrect quotes but can be seen as such)

Zestial: thou looks more tattered than a harlot's dress draped on a manure coated scarecrow

Velvette: excuse-a whst now?

Alastor: allow me to translate. Ahem, he said "you look more ugly than a scarecrow wearing a prostitute's dirty dress"

Velvette: ...fuck you old man

~~~~~

Vox: aww! My baby I missed you!!

Valentino: aww..how sweet, come her Voxxy

*Vox proceeds to push Valentino aside and runs to Vhark and hugs him*

Valentino, betrayed: ..fuckin' asshole..

~~~~

Charlie: so dad, any ideas on what to decorate the hotel with

Lucifer: huge duck

Charlie: wha-?

*Cue Lucifer summoning a 10ft tall rubber duck*

Lucifer: Big. Duck

~~~~

Zestial: I shall rip apart whomever chose to do this!!

Alastor: it- Zestial it's just a black eye-

Zestial: Thou art my son now and I will defend thee with my life!!

Alastor:

Literally everyone else present:

Alastor: I have a dad now :D

~~~~

Carmilla: what do you have there Zestial?

*camera pans to Zestial holding a teacup in one hand and Alastor in the other*

Zestial: tea

Alastor, who has just become an overlord: *aggressively snarling and trying to bite Zestial*

~~~~

Angel Dust: sooo- got any juicy dirt on Alastor?

Rosie, who is visiting the hotel: hm?

Husk: he means gossip Rosie

Rosie: ooooh!

Angel Dust: soo, anything ya got on him?

Rosie: he used to wear heels to appear taller but is damaged his hooves a lot so Zestial forced him to stop.

Angel Dust: HE HAS HOOVES!!?

[obeymecosmicvenus]

𖤐 Obey Me Incorrect Quotes 1 𖤐

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

~ Generator ~

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Characters: Demon Brothers x Mc

~ ~ ~ ~

Lucifer: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.

Mc: *Steps on a caterpillar and drops to their knees sobbing and apologizing profusely*

Lucifer: That one. I want that one.

~ ~ ~ ~

Mc: Talk dirty to me baby~

Lucifer: The Dishes.

Mc: Wh-

Lucifer: They've been there for 4 days and its your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

~ ~ ~ ~

Mc: Hey, I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?~

Lucifer: ....Have you never taken a shower before??

Lucifer: ..... Oh-

~ ~ ~ ~

Mammon: The stars are so beautiful....

Mc: They're just giant balls of gas.

Mammon: You know what, if your just gonna ruin this then-

Mc: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you

Mammon: Oh...

~ ~ ~ ~

Mammon: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.

Mc: Hi, I'm things.

~ ~ ~ ~

Mammon: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I'm near mine, I start acting stupid.

Mc: You always act stupid.

Mc: ...

Mc: Wait....

~ ~ ~ ~

Leviathan: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth Mc!

Mc: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

~ ~ ~ ~

Leviathan: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you....

Mc: Yeah well your stuck with me, and no take backs honey.

~ ~ ~ ~

Leviathan: Well, Mc and I finally did it!

The rest of the brothers: *Gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Leviathan: Thats right..... We kissed!!

~ ~ ~ ~

Satan: When you said 'Magic in Bed'... I wasn't expecting this....

Mc: *Pulls out a card from the deck* Now, was this your card?

Satan: Holy moly-

~ ~ ~ ~

Satan: I'm doing what I can to jog your memory.

Mc: It's jogging, I guess. It's titties are jiggling a little.

Satan: Nice....

~ ~ ~ ~

Satan: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in the HoL?

Mc: *Totally not high as hell* They're golden retrievers man. They retrieve gold, I did this for us!

~ ~ ~ ~

Asmodeus: There. How do I look?

Mc: Like a cheap French harlot.

Asmodeus: French?!

~ ~ ~ ~

Asmodeus, with a headache: Advil me up daddy~

Mc: Wh- .....

~ ~ ~ ~

Mc: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a women in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Asmodeus: Thats because she's a prostitute~

~ ~ ~ ~

Mc: I like your new pants!

Beelzebub: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Mc: I'd like them better if they were 100% off *winks*

Beelzebub: The store can't just give away clothes for free.....

Mc: Thats.... not what I meant-

Beelzebub: What a terrible way to run a business.

~ ~ ~ ~

Beelzebub: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Mc: I have a gun in the nightstand...... if I ever say no to that question shoot me because I have obviously gone crazy.

~ ~ ~ ~

Beelzebub: We should be partners.

Mc: You mean like, partners in crime?

Beelzebub: Y-yeah..... thats precisely what I meant.

~ ~ ~ ~

Belphegor: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves"

Mc: .....

Mc: What a stupid fucking quote.

Mc: We're killing way more than two people.

~ ~ ~ ~

Mc: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Belphegor: It was autocorrect....

Mc: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me." ?

Belphegor: Yess??

~ ~ ~ ~

Belphegor: I want to kiss you

Mc, not paying attention: What?

Belphegor: I said if you die, I won't miss you.

[kandy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

Incorrect quote Redemption Motel AU

Y/N:I'm gonna go fuck your husband now.

Lilith:WHAT?! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY HUSBAND!

Y/N:(Proceed to walk away with Lucifer)

Lilith:Y/N COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW Y/N!WTF?!

(Two overlords sitting on the barstool while getting drunk and tipsy)

Lucifer:(sighs) I miss my wife,Charlie.

Everyone:(laughs)

Lucifer:I miss her alot...I'll be back.

Y/N:WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM?!!

Vox & Velvet:(laughing)

Y/N:(looks at the picture of them that was actually posted by Valentino) OH NO...

Alastor:BITCH YOU GONNA YOUR GONNA DIE OR I'LL POPPING BETWEEN YOUR EYES!

Angel Dust:Wait I know you!I saw your dick on twitter!

Alastor:OH GODDAMMIT!

Husk: Don't touch me harlot!(Pushes Angel Dust face away)

Y/N:(Having tusk teeths issue)Can you guys stop having relationships issues while I'm on my phone with my dentist?

Vox:(Announce news TV)Do you see this?This is the diamond I am going to give to my brand-new husband and/or wife. It'll be there for the rest of time with GameCube too!So if you want-(pauses)

Angel Dust:Woah he's bisexual,I didn't know that!

Vox:By the way I'm Bisexual I forgot,I forgot to announce that-How do you turn this shit off?Wait-

Alastor: Got beaten up by Adam

Y/N & Rosie:.... Something just happened.

Y/N: (Threatening sinners)

Vox:Y/N my long lost lover it's been a-

Y/N:Hey!I told you not to bring that up anymore I'm putting the past behind me!

Y/N:You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?

Angel Dust:Sure.

Y/N:Well I'll be yellow!

Husk:Is this how it works?

Angel Dust:Ok.

Husk:Angel Dust your the double bottom!

Angel Dust:And I'll be the twink!

Husk:Yeah this it what I just said.

Charlie:I pronounce you Husband, Husband and Husband!

Valentino:Oh no!Mx.Kidnapper please don't hurt me!

Y/N: Don't worry I'm not gonna touch you.

Valentino:...WHY NOT?!

[unusualgrimm]

Incorrect quotes~

Wiggly: What’s something you guys are better than Pokey at?

Tinky: Mario Kart.

Nibbly: Yeah, video games.

Blinky: Emotional vulnerability.

Tinky: There. How do I look?

Blinky: Like a cheap French harlot.

Tinky: French?!

*The Squad is eating dinner*

Blinky: Can you pass the salt?

Pokey: *throws Wiggly across the table*

Tinky, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Nibbly: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Nibbly:

Nibbly: It's perfume.

Nibbly: Hello Blinky, made anyone cry today?

Blinky: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

Wiggly: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Nibbly ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Nibbly, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

Pokey: Here is my wall of inspirational people.

Wiggly: Is that a picture of you?

Pokey: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Tinky: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Blinky: You sleep with a teddybear.

Tinky: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Blinky: *slowly removes heart-shaped sunglasses* I beg your fucking pardon?

Pokey: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.

Wiggly: *walking past* Navy blue isn't your color.

Pokey: Navy blue brings out my eyes, you prick! *chases after Wiggly*

Pokey: Request for you not to be a bitch.

Wiggly: Request denied.

Uncle Wiley: I am not gaslighting you. I am lying to you. Gaslighting implies a level of effort that I am simply not putting in.

Uncle Wiley: Deceiving you does not require much

[octopiys]

I'm back with more incorrect CoD quotes

Roach: Ghost is playing hard to get.

Roach: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

-

Soap: Ghost! I thought you were dead!

Ghost: No, just in deep cover.

Soap: ...But it was an open casket.

Ghost: ....It was very deep.

-

Ghost: Price, what are you doing?

Price: Making chocolate pudding.

Ghost: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Price: Because I've lost control of my life.

Price: Here's your pudding, Soap.

Soap: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Price:

-

König: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Roach: Gaz, probably.

-

Laswell: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Price: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

-

Rodolfo: I just ended a five year relationship.

Gaz: Oh no, are you okay? I'm here to support you-

Rodolfo, glancing at Alejandro and Valeria: don't worry, it wasn't mine.

-

Soap: Why are you like this??

Ghost: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

-

Shadow: Do you have a self-care routine?

Graves: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

Rodolfo: your Spanish sucks!

-

Nikolai: There. How do I look?

Price: Like a cheap French harlot.

Nikolai: French?!

-

Graves: *talking about Shepherd’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today!

Laswell, shocked: Did someone else die?

Laswell: Oh shit

Laswell: Price!

Price: stop pretending I'm dying!

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.11 because I genuinely forgot about this series for like a week or so

AJ: None of those words are in the Bible! Tom: Psalm 119:105. “And Jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos” AJ: HE DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT! Tom: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man. Luke: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven. Sam: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction. Sam: There. How do I look? Luke: Like a cheap French harlot. Sam: French?!

Sam: Think you can unlock the door for us? Luke: Sure, I just need a couple of things. Tom, can I have your credit card? Tom: Sure, just make sure not to bend it. Luke: Thanks. Now AJ, break down the door! Tom: Huh!?! Tom: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. AJ: The cow?? Tom: What? Sam: AJ, W H Y? Tom: Do you need anything from the store? Luke: Actually, yes. I have a list. Tom, reading: Epsom salts, coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch, lavender essential oils… citric acid…? Luke: I’m making homemade bath bombs. Tom: Smokeless gunpowder?! Luke: I want to do it right! Luke: Last night I found out AJ is a sleep talker. Tom: Oh, really? Luke: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am. AJ: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Sam's birthday invitations. Tom: Well, what are they supposed to say? AJ: "Sam's birthday". Tom: So, what do they say instead? AJ: "Sam’s bi". Tom: Tom: Works out either way. Sam: Is stabbing someone immoral? Luke: Not if they consent to it. AJ: Depends on who your stabbing. Tom: YES??!!? (Tom you beautiful ethical man) Tom: Sam… you've been cuddling with me for over an hour now. Sam, muffled: Mmhmmm :) Tom: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable. AJ: Your workspace is in the bathroom? Sam: Luke says this is the perfect place for my work. I’m just now realizing that remark may not have been entirely complimentary. Tom: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. Luke: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Luke: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Luke: Go big or go home. Tom: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

[delusionalwritingsofagay]

The originals Incorrect quote p 4

Kol: *sighs*

Y/n : You bored?

Kol : Yeah.

Y/n: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Kol: I thought you’d never ask.

Klaus : I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Y/n : And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Y/N: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Klaus:

Klaus : I like you.

Elijah : You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Y/n: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

Y/n : What’s your body count?

Klaus: Do you mean sex or murder?

Y/N: There. How do I look?

Klaus: Like a cheap French harlot.

Y/n : French?!

Y/n : You’re alive.

Kol : No need to sound so disappointed.

Y/n : I love murder mysteries!

Kol , trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

Klaus : Y/n , my old friend!

Y/n : I think you tried to kill me at some point.

Klaus : That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

[theogcinnamonroll]

I have a problem (Yet again, more incorrect quotes)

Tia: Know why I called you in here? Soap: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Tia: Stops pouring two glasses of wine. Accidentally?

Soap: I have feelings for you. Tia: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Soap: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this… Tia: pulls out card from deck Now, was this your card? Soap: Holy moly-

Tia: How do I tell Soap that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Gaz: There. How do I look? Leo: Like a cheap French harlot. Gaz: French?!

Leo: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Price: No… well, their slowness. Leo: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Leo: Now I have a plan. Leo: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Soap, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Ghost, standing in front of Soap: bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen Soap, crying: Please…stop…

Ghost: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Soap: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Ghost: It sucks. Soap: That's not constructive criticism.

Ghost: Are you tall enough to play basketball though? Tia: Are you calling me short? Ghost: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

Leo: This bloodline ends with me. Soap: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

Leo: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. Price: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? Leo: Seize the dick.

Tia: What have I done wrong?! Leo: Everything. For your entire life.

Leo: Bro, I had a dream we fucked. Gaz: Bro, relax it was just a dream. Leo: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you. Gaz: You wouldn’t? Leo: I mean, unless you want to-

Gaz: Look, last night was a mistake. Leo: A sexy mistake. Gaz: No, just a regular mistake.

Tia: Wow, Soap, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Soap: We literally slept together yesterday. Tia: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Ghost: Hey Tia, have you seen the photographer? Tia: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer? Ghost, confused: What? Tia, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!

Soap: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Tia: I wrote you a poem. Soap, already crying: You did?

[totallynoteggos]

More incorrect quotes cus yes

(Y/N): You got a date yet Chad ?

Chad : No...

(Y/N): Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

*teen ninja Chad & operative (y/n)*

Chad : *angrily presses (Y/N) against a wall* WHERE'S NUMBUH 1!!

(Y/N): ...

(Y/N): Are we about to kiss-

(Y/N): I'm trash.

Chad : As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

(Y/N):

(Y/N): You smooth motherfucker.

(Y/N): And yes it does.

*on the GKND prison with cells next to each other*

Chad : Stop doing that.

(Y/N): Stop doing what?

Chad : Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

*Supreme Leader Chad & operative (y/n)*

Chad:*Going over mission files with Numbuh 1*

(Y/N): How do I tell Numbuh 274 that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Numbuh 5: I beg your fucking pardon?

Chad : Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

(Y/N): Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Chad : ...

Chad : You mean ring bearER, right?

(Y/N): ...

Chad : Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Chad : I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

(Y/N): Aren't you forgetting something?

Chad : Uuh...*hesitantly kisses (Y/N)'s forehead before running out.*

(Y/N): No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

*After Operation: CH.A.D*

Chad : I owe you one (#).

(Y/N): That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. :)

Nigel: HUH??

Stfu Nigel she's shooting her shot

(Y/N): I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Chad: That's great, (Y/N). Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

(Y/N): Is something burning?

Chad, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

(Y/N): Chad, the toaster is literally on fire.

Chad: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

(Y/N): AS ENEMIES?!

Chad:…

Chad: Hey, (Y/N), what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

(Y/N): What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Chad: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

(Y/N): Can't really say I have.

Chad: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

(Y/N): Sorry, Chad. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

*At a speed dating event*

Chad: Oh wow, people are really shallow.

(Y/N): Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Chad: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.

(Y/N): Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Chad: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

(Y/N): But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

(Y/N): Chad, you love me, right?

Chad: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

(Y/N): *on the phone with Chad* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.

Chad: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you.

(Y/N): Maybe.

Chad: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

(Y/N), poking Chad’s arm: Chad Chad. Chad. Chad.

Chad: WHAT?

(Y/N): …We’re out of Capri Suns—

(Y/N): You’re not jealous, are you?

Chad: No!

(Y/N): Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Chad: There. How do I look?

(Y/N): Like a cheap French harlot.

Chad: French?!

*Uno (Y/N)*

Chad, trying to flirt with (Y/N): I think both of our families suck.

Patton: Hey, what have you two been doing?

Fanny: we were helping Chad with their wedding vows and we were kicked out of their house for making it inappropriate.

Rachel: How is “Nice ass, (Y/N)” inappropriate?

Chad: There's no meeting today because Rachel is at the police station.

Fanny: They're in jail?!

Patton: We have to get them out!

(Y/N): Jailbreak! I'm in!

(y/N): I'll dress up and distract the guard!

Patton: Ooh, I'll bake some food to help distract ALL the guards!

Fanny: I guess I could bring my frying pan in case we need a shield to keep us from being shot-

Chad: No! Rachel wasn't arrested! They're undercover, taking the system down from the inside. They don't need our help!

Chad: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… (Y/N) and I are dating.

(Y/N), Patton, Rachel, and Fanny: *gasp*

Chad: (Y/N), why are you surprised?!

Maurice, about Chad and (Y/N): My god, would you two just get a room already?

(Y/N): Excuse me, Maurice?

Maurice: You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?

Chad: ...

Cree: I ship it!

The Steve: CAN YOU NOT?

(Y/N): We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Cree: ... Your what?

(Y/N): My friends.

Maurice: Are they saying “friends”?

The Steve: I think they're being sarcastic.

Chad: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, (Y/N)! All of your friends are in this room.

(Y/N): Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Maurice: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Cree: (Y/N). Answer the question, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

(Y/N): Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Maurice: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Cree: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Maurice: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Cree: It takes less than a minute.

Maurice: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Cree: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Maurice: Like seven minutes??

The Steve: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Cree: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? The Steve? Your stove is enchanted!

(Y/N): Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Chad: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

Cree: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Chad: 'Hottest Quarterback'

Maurice: 'Chillest Personality'

The Steve: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

(Y/N): 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

(Y/N): Look guys, I need help.

Cree: Love help?

Maurice: Financial help?

The Steve: Emotional help?

Chad: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Chad*

Chad: What? I’m a ride or die boyfriend?

The Steve: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Maurice: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

(Y/N): Three of us saw it, Maurice. How do you explain that?

Maurice: *points at Chad* Sleep deprivation. *points at (Y/N)* Paranoia. *points at Cree* Delusional personality disorder.

(Y/N): God, if only someone loved me…

Chad: *standing behind them with roses*

Patton: *holding box of chocolates*

Maurice: *has balloons and a card*

Rachel: *facepalms* This is sad.

(Idk Numbuh 10’s real name so it’s gonna be Ashley also GKND Au)

Ace: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

Chad: Why?

Ashley: Rachel fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Maurice: (Y/N) doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

(y/n): I hope you have an explanation for this.

Ace: We have three, actually!

Chad: Pick your favorite.

Ashley: (y/n)! What did I tell you about lying?

(y/n), looking down: ...That it only works on Chad.

(y/n): PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE.

Maurice: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds.

(y/n): FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME—

Maurice: *sigh* What do you want?

(y/n): Chicken nuggets please.

Chad: How many children do you have?

(y/n) with multiple cadets clinging to her: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Chad: I wish I had more enemies.

(y/n): I’m sure you will someday, honey.

*Chas & Y/N got caught kissing*

Rachel: Is there something you would like to say, Maurice?

Maurice: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

Rachel, to Chad: When was the last time you let someone hug you?

Chad: *thinking*

Chad: 2012.

Maurice: 2012…?

Chad: Yeah. I almost died and it really freaked (y/n) out so I let them hug me.

[brotpqueen]

Okay listen I’m working on the next chapter but Gabriel is a bitch to write for. I am neither a man nor an overconfident little bastard (though that last one is debatable) so I don’t relate to him as much as the others which makes writing more complicated. This bitch is tiring. Also as y’all know I have no idea how to write romantic tension, especially not of the enemies-to-lovers variety. Here’s some incorrect quotes while you guys wait (with some lore drops about the AU if you look hard enough). Thanks for being so patient, gang.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beelzebub: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(if you read chapter one you already know my Beez makes terrible decisions about their hair.)

Anathema: I'm at a loss for words! Newt: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Anathema yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

(Newt is the incompetent one in the group but he’s so sweet they keep him around anyway)

Gabriel: There. How do I look? Shax: Like a cheap French harlot. Gabriel: French?!

(Former Cyberbully VS Also Former Cyberbully. At least Shax is creative with it.)

Aziraphale: Crowley, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Crowley, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

(…Obviously.)

Aziraphale: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Beelzebub: What? No good morning? Aziraphale: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(This is literally all of their conversations up until they were like fourteen and Aziraphale gave up on being a good influence and joined in the batshit)

Shax: You're smiling. What happened? Crowley: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Aziraphale: Gabriel tripped and fell down the stairs today.

(They’re the worst brothers ever <3)

Beelzebub: When I was your age- Aziraphale, mocking Beelzebub: When I was your height. Beelzebub: Beelzebub: Listen here you little shit-

(Beez is completely ignoring that Aziraphale is literally like a month older than them)

Hastur: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Newt: Why not? Hastur: Because I don't know what they mean.

(Hastur is a himbo. In this context both affectionate and derogatory. Love ya, ya dumbass.)

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting Maggie: walks in and sits on Nina’s lap The Squad: … Newt: Why are you sitting there? Maggie: There’s no free seats! Newt: But we made sure there was enough room for- Nina: hugs Maggie tightly There are no free seats.

(Nina and Maggie are just here to cuddle and see shit go down tbh.)

Aziraphale: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Anathema: Yup. Beelzebub: Maybe the generator is watching us. Aziraphale: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Aziraphale: … Aziraphale: Wait—

(Never let the smart ones™️ near alcohol they’re existential little fucks already we don’t need a philosophical debate at the campfire)

Shax: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Uriel: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

(Shax is studying psychology at college/uni SOLELY so she can use it to fuck with people.)

Crowley: We need a plan to beat them. Aziraphale: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Crowley: Aziraphale: Judge me all you want, I get results.

(And people say Bee is a bad influence. Really! He’s much better at being a devious little shit now, so I’d call that a good influence!)

One of the campers: running towards Beelzebub with open arms Beelzebub: moves out of the way One of the campers: Hey, why'd you move?! Beelzebub: I thought you were going to attack me. One of the campers: I was going to hug you! Beelzebub: Why would you hug me? One of the campers: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(They have issues okay. Stay tuned for that shit show!)

Shax: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

(She’s the worst I love her.)

Beelzebub: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

(Aziraphale at many points throughout the years since they chose their name: your name is Beelzebub not Belphegor. Get up and go eat.)

Crowley: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Crowley, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

(He looses all morals when it comes to board games. Also shut up Crowley your mother is like as rich as God…almost literally.)

Hastur: Hey, Aziraphale you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Aziraphale: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Hastur: Yea, my grandma lives there. Uriel: That is the worst response to that question.

Aziraphale: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Beelzebub: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

(This is just their entire dynamic in this fic. Literally. This is how they end up in so many situations™️)

Beelzebub, to Nina: You know, Gabriel can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Beelzebub: blows airhorn at Gabriel GET FUCKED!

(They’re still in the enemies stage of enemies-to-lovers…Also Crowley approves this method.)

Beelzebub: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Gabriel, are a fucking cactus.

(Wait why is that just something I would have them say.)

Uriel: We need to distract these guys. Shax: Leave it to me. Shax: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. The smart ones™️: immediately begin arguing

(More psych student Shax knowing her friends eerily well! She’s a nightmare!)

Gabriel: What have I done wrong?! Crowley: Everything. For your entire life.

(They are in SEVERE need of character development…shame no one around here is doing that. *whistles totally inconspicuously, definitely not ignoring the WIP that’s open in my notes right now*)

Maggie: Which country has the most birds? Maggie: Portu-geese! Uriel: That's a language. Maggie: Portu-gull? Uriel: Good recovery. Newt: I think you mean good re-dovery. Anathema: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(This is what’s happening while the MCs are off doing MC shit)

Crowley: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Crowley, to Newt and Hastur: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Crowley, to Aziraphale: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement. Aziraphale: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device? Crowley: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Aziraphale gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Gabriel: And what does that make you, Fred? Crowley: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

(The real reason Crowley and Gabriel hate eachother so much is that there’s only room for one dramatic little bitch in their family and they both think it should be them.)

Maggie: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious.

(My underrated queen!)

Hastur: I know where you live. Uriel: Where? Hastur: In a house.

(Uriel spends half of their time at camp facepalming. This is what they get for being normal in a sea of weirdos.)

Okay that’s it for now see y’all soon hopefully with the next chapter!

[magixfairyix]

Iarcy Incorrect Quotes

Cause if a ship between Darcy and my OC (Iorda) gives me serotonin then so be it, I love these two.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Aisha: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Darcy, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

Iorda, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.

Darcy: Coming right up.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

*Iorda teaching Stormy to drive and taking Darcy along for the ride*

Iorda: That's a pothole. To the left!

Stormy: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Darcy, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Stormy: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Iorda, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Stormy: Country Roads.

Darcy: To the place.

Stormy and Darcy in unison: I Belong!

Iorda, crying harder: What the fuck?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda: *Stands in the trash can.* 

Darcy: Iorda, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea? 

Iorda: Tea. 

Darcy: Wrong. It's coffee.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda: There. How do I look? 

Darcy: Like a cheap French harlot. 

Iorda: French?!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

Darcy: Peonies, why? 

Iorda: 

Darcy: Were you going to get me flowers? 

Iorda: 

Darcy: 

Iorda: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: I love you.

Iorda, not paying attention: What was that?

Darcy: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Iorda: Being a fish.

Darcy: Well, shit.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Iorda: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Darcy: …Your point?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: *is throwing stones at Iorda's window* 

Iorda: You have a phone for a reason, Darcy! 

*THUD* 

Iorda: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: I made tea. 

Iorda: I don't want tea. 

Darcy: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea. 

Iorda: Then why did you tell me? 

Darcy: It's a conversation starter. 

Iorda: It's a horrible conversation starter. 

Darcy: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: Hey I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10. 

Iorda: Uh 4? 

Darcy: Wrong, no food for you. 

Iorda: Wait what?! WHY?! DARCY PLEASE—!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Darcy, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. 

Darcy, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: Goodnight to the love of my life, Iorda, and fuck the rest of y'all.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: BE A BETTER PERSON! —

Iorda: WHY?! 

Darcy: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. 

Darcy : Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? 

Iorda: Seize the dick-

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda: *seductively takes off glasses* 

Iorda: Wow... 

Darcy : *blushes* Haha... what? 

Iorda: You're really fucking blurry.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. 

Iorda: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. 

Darcy : I said within reason, Iorda. How about I murder that guy? 

Iorda: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? 

Darcy : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: Are you trying to seduce me? 

Iorda: Why, are you seducible?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy, talking about Iorda: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

*The struggles of some traditions not being the same on Earth and Zenothe*

Iorda: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. 

Darcy : Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. 

Iorda: ... 

Iorda: You mean ring bearER, right? 

Darcy : ... 

Iorda: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? 

Iorda: It was autocorrect. 

Darcy : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? 

Iorda: Yes.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy : Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 

Iorda: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus. 

Darcy : Stop.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy : I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. 

Iorda: This is a lie. 

Iorda: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. 

Iorda: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

They just fuck with each other on a regular basis and both of them are just varying levels on unhinged.

[asimpwithfreetime]

Avatar incorrect quotes because I want to post daily but it is taking me some time to write a bunch of stories. (Sorry in advance for the long wait)

Tsireya: We have fun, don’t we, Y/n?

Y/n: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

╌──═❁═──╌

Ao’nung : You’re an idiot.

Neteyam: That’s the charm.

╌──═❁═──╌

Ronal: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Ronal: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

╌──═❁═──╌

Tonowari: Don’t you have any dignity, Jake?

Jake: Uh, no.

╌──═❁═──╌

Y/n: Did you hear that!? Lo’ak just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!

Neteyam: ...You just threatened to kill him in his sleep.

╌──═❁═──╌

Tsu’tey: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Neytiri: &gt;:O language

Jake: Yeah watch your fucking language

Spider : Okay, who taught Jake the fuck word?!

Ronal: 'The fuck word'.

Norm: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Jake: Oh my god they censored it

Ronal: Say fuck, Norm.

Jake: Do it, Norm. Say fuck.

╌──═❁═──╌

Jake: Can I have your number?

Tsu’tey, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

╌──═❁═──╌

Quaritch: Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."

╌──═❁═──╌

Quaritch: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Spider : YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

╌──═❁═──╌

Neteyam: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Y/n.

Neteyam:

Neteyam: Don’t tell them I said that.

╌──═❁═──╌

Neteyam: There. How do I look?

Tuk: Like a cheap French harlot.

Neteyam: French?!

╌──═❁═──╌

Ao’nung : I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Y/n: This is a lie.

Y/n: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Y/n: HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

╌──═❁═──╌

Tonowari, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

[ink-leaf-cafe]

Oc Incorrect Quotes P1 (MC Edition)

DAISES: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Alina! Neither of them die Alina: … DAISES: … Alina: So do you wanna talk about somethi- DAISES: No thank you.

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: Have you done this before? Alina: Well, Zia, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Vinni: That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things. Zia: I don't read, Alina.

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun! Zia: Zia: narrows eyes Something’s wrong here.

|---|---|---|---|

Azaela: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons? DAISES: Fake?

|---|---|---|---|

Azaela: I have a 1:30 appointment. Meridian: Which doctor? Azaela: No, I want the regular doctor.

|---|---|---|---|

Alina: We need a plan to beat them. Vinni: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Alina: Vinni: Judge me all you want, I get results.

|---|---|---|---|

Leith: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Alina: sighs Alina: I killed a man.

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river. Leith: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

|---|---|---|---|

Azaela: Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely! Leith: With NAPALM.

|---|---|---|---|

Leith: What do we think of Zia? pause DAISES: sighs Nice pal. Meridian: I think they're gay.

|---|---|---|---|

Meridian: There. How do I look? Vinni: Like a cheap French harlot. Meridian: French?!

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

|---|---|---|---|

Meridian: Who the fuck- Azaela: Language! Meridian: Whom the fuck- Azaela: No.

|---|---|---|---|

Leith: Are you tall enough to play basketball though? Alina: Are you calling me short? Leith: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

|---|---|---|---|

Meridian: Hey DAISES, Vinni just broke my seashell lamp. DAISES: Neat. I’m gonna die alone. Meridian: Okay, you win.

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: I have lots of friends! Zia: Name one. Vinni: Well, there’s- Zia: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at. Vinni: Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

|---|---|---|---|

DAISES: We are gathered here today because someone- glares at Zia’s coffin -couldn’t stay alive!

|---|---|---|---|

Azaela: Meridian! Vinni got that thing on the control panel working! Meridian: Wow! That looks pretty impressive. Azaela: Yeah! Meridian: Any idea what it does? Azaela: Not a clue.

|---|---|---|---|

Leith: Shh, here comes Zia! Alina: Quick, DAISES, start talking about boring nerd stuff! DAISES: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. Alina: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

|---|---|---|---|

Zia, on the phone: Oh, hey man! Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

|---|---|---|---|

DAISES: We have a problem. Alina: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

|---|---|---|---|

Alina: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Leith: We could attack them with hummus. Alina: I stand corrected. Leith: Just keeping things in perspective.

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people-opener”? Vinni: Vinni: …Should I not have?

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club. Vinni: What club? Leith: The hating Vinni club. Vinni: …The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: I’m this close to falling in love with Leith. Zia: Your fingertips are touching. Vinni: Exactly.

|---|---|---|---|

Meridian: Hey DAISES, can you give me the opposite of these words? Meridian: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. DAISES: Never, Going, To, Give, You- DAISES: The fucking satisfaction.

|---|---|---|---|

Vinni: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

|---|---|---|---|

Zia: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Alina: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

|---|---|---|---|

( @minnesotamedic186 )