#incorrect quotes criminal minds

[starch1ldz]

Spencer: wait, how did this happen? We're smarter than this.

Genius!BAU!y/n shaking his head: apparently, we are not.

[prentisssappho]

criminal minds queer + text post

[xervoxs]

*somewhere in bau*

penelope: *gossiping*

penelope: you know she has some problems, for sure

jj: but I think it's important to just...

rossi: she's also ugly

jj: well okay..

penelope : I don't think that that was necessary..

emily: but she's in fact ugly

[drreidsphds]

Derek: Why am I not a banana?

Reid: Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, I think it would be pleasing for you to know that humans share 50-60% of their DNA with bananas.

Derek: Really?

Reid: Yes, really.

Derek: That's cool.

Emily: Are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than most? Not fair.

[nobodyknowswhoiamthanksgod]

Emily: *Drinking wine while holding eye contact with mirror on hand*

Reid: Why are you doing that?

Emily: *Not taking eyes off from mirror*

Emily: Hotch told me to watch my drinking.

Hotch: that's not..nvm.

[dirtyslasherlover]

Garcia: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. Morgan: Oh, you’ve been? Garcia: Once. In Monopoly.

[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *points gun at Bruce*

Bruce: I don't believe in guns.

Jason: Well, trust me, they're very real.

[starch1ldz]

Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

[prentisssappho]

tara: I’m cold

emily: here, take my jacket

will: aren’t you gonna say I’m cold?

jj: no, I brought my own jacket

[xervoxs]

Spencer: *telling some information he found out that is connected to the case*

Hotch: good job, kid

Spencer: thanks, dad

Spencer: ...

Hotch: ...

Derek: oh so he's allowed to call you so and i'm not?

[drreidsphds]

Reid: *accidentley eats something spicy*

Rossi: Oh no. Hey, hey, it's okay kid. Don't cry. Your loved. Your smart. Your beautiful. Your cared for. Everything is gonna be okay.

Reid: I'm not crying?

Rossi, hugging his head: Shh, shhh, I know. Papa Dave is here and he loves you. No need to cry.

Reid, muttering under his breath: I'm not crying though..

[nobodyknowswhoiamthanksgod]

BAU 

Hotch: *Laughs in capital punishment*

Rossi: * Laughs in manslaugther*

Morgan: *Laughs in collateral damage*

JJ: *Laughs in torture*

Spencer: * Laughs in abduction*

Prentiss: *Laughs in homicide*

Garcia: *Laughs in sexy*

[velvetwilde]

Who the fuck he think he is to be this damn hot?