#intersex experience

[the-intersex-experience]

Welcome to a blog dedicated to intersex experiences. We are bodily a mixed poc, disabled, tfemmasc intersex, system. You may call us Maichi or ᎠᏁᎶᏗ. liminal/liminals, xe/xem & 🩷/🩷s work for prns.

this blog is safe for: intersex tfems/tmascs/tfemmascs. intersex poc. intersex systems. disabled intersex people. good faith/mspec mono labels, palestine people, etc!

This blog isn't safe for: perisex afab tfems, perisex amab tmascs, perisex tfemmascs. terfs. pro.ship, rad.queer, winter.punk. racists, zionists. "transintersex" perisex people, and endo/demo/mixedgenic systems.

questions / conversations are fine, but be aware our stances/opinions are unlikely to change unless we accidentally do something problematic without realizing.

you can send things as "the intersex experience is", "the poc intersex experience is" etc. free to drop that part if you want to be more serious or vent/rant. please keep in mind all intersexism, harassment & hate will be blocked.

taken anon emojis: 🪻

other blogs to check out!! @our-transfeminine-experience , @our-transgender-experiences , @our-trans-youth-experience @our-transmasculine-experience

[heckacentipede]

small reminder this pride season that in the natural world you will find examples of animals changing their sex [such as the peacocks, or those lions], or being multiple sexes [such as bilateral gynandromorphs], or similarly being what you want to call "naturally nonbinary" or "naturally trans".

it's fun to use these wonderful creatures as trans and nonbinary iconography, but please! don't forget your intersex siblings in your excitement. those are intersex animals, not trans or nonbinary

sincerely, a perisex bigender constantly bummed at the missed opportunity for cool pride art

[uncanny-tranny]

I just have to say that it's so weird reading how transphobes think of trans bodies as mutilated and gross when they never would have thought my body pre-transition was worthy. The "argument" of mutilated beauty that transphobes have tossed around is just a fear mongering tactic, because they don't tend to actually love or appreciate and see value in bodies that don't "neatly" fit into male and female, with no overlap and no nuances.

[glitter-alienz]

here's ov lita guyz! evil clone baby 🤲🏾

close ups under the cut

[coolcarabiner]

lesbians who are terfs will never make any sense to me crying about the supposed exclusivity of the “female experience” like my brother in christ she experienced an othered, lonely, confusing childhood where she was made to feel inadequate in her gender, sexuality, or both just the same as you and instead of letting this unify you against patriarchy you just enforce it on other people to maintain the sliver of “power” you think you have. how do u not see how dumb this is oh my god

[hotcarina]

Do you wanna see what my carrot looks like?, slide into my dm let's have a chat

[yardsards]

hunter being a trans guy is so funny because like

possibility 1:

wittebro was a trans guy living in 1600s connecticut and nobody batted an eye

possibility 2:

belos makes hunter and is like "aw shit, this one's got the wrong bits. oh well, guess i'll raise it as a boy anyway. luckily those loathesome 'transgender' witches have invented potions for this- y'know, if i don't kill him before he reaches puberty"

possibility 3:

belos makes hunter and is like "aw shit, this one's got the wrong bits. guess i'll have to deal with a girl for the next couple decades, it'd be too much work to kill and remake this one just because it came out wrong."

and then hunter gets older and is like "uncle, i wanna be a boy"

and belos is too busy being like "all according to keikaku" to be transphobic about it. task failed successfully.

[the-intersex-experience]

an anon asked about this and we agreed it'd be fun to see what different people use! these are simply a personal preference with no wrong answers. We personally switch between condition and disability due to it causing pains bad enough to cause hospitalization / affects our daily life.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

it’s telling that the only people who have ever told me that turner’s syndrome isn’t really intersex are terfs. every single trans-positive intersex person I have encountered - which are most intersex folk, in my experience- have told me “heck yeah that’s intersex!”

[identitty-dickruption]

the reason it's a bad thing to only talk about a certain group of people when it benefits your argument is that it shows that you don't actually care about us as people. you can bring us up in an argument if the argument calls for it. whatever. but using an entire community as a gotcha and then attacking that same community when they ask for rights and recognition is complete bullshit. you don't get to use us as an argument if you clearly only see us as a thought experiment and nothing more

[hotcarina]

Hello there would you like your dick to be my chair?? 🍆💦💦💦💦

[hazel2468]

I know I've said something similar before but like.

People are all "uwu we shouldn't let kids do hormone blockers or have surgeries because children can't consent to that!" and like. Aside from the fact that no one is doing gender affirming procedures on kids.

I would be willing to bet my left tit that these are the EXACT same fucks who would have given me shit from middle to high school and into college about getting laser hair removal, about my voice change from a soprano to an alto (not severe but noticeable, as I was a singer), who said I should amputate my healthy stomach so I could be more thin and "ladylike", who gave me ENDLESS shit for my body hair, including facial hair, who demanded I shave and pluck and squeeze myself into clothes and an image that didn't fit me and who ENCOURAGED me to take medications and have procedures that would permanently alter (and in the case of weight loss surgery? Damage, most likely) my body to fit what THEY thought I should be.

All because I have PCOS. My body is not what people expect of a cis woman's body.

Gee. It's almost like it has nothing to do with kids not consenting, and EVERYTHING to do with these chucklefucks wanting to deny trans kids access to life-saving care AND wanting to force intersex kids into medical treatment that they, by their own logic, cannot consent to.

But that's all fine when they're making us intersex folks "normal", huh?

[the-intersex-experience]

The intersex experience is hating AFAB/AMAB & TME/TMA. I propose saying you're ANAB, Assigned Nunya At Birth.

.

[uncanny-tranny]

There truly isn't a universal answer to what a man and woman "is" and that's where the whole "well, tell me what a man is if you say you are one" spiel falls apart for me. In trying to answer it, you fail to see that gender is not something to be understood empirically - it isnt something you can analyze like you might a hard scientific phenomenon, but gender something that is a tool. Gender is (one) of the languages we use to communicate to others, so like language, there is nuance.

My version of manhood* is one which differs from another man's. We use similar language to describe our malehood, perhaps, but much like language, we will have different dialects which we use. If I were to try to answer what a man "is," I will be informed by my own manhood* and the manhood my culture deems desirable. This is inherently exclusionary because it relies on myself and my culture to be the only "right" ones. I refuse to play this social game because it relies on this exclusionary mindset. Gender is what we humans make of it, and there simply cannot be an "answer" to the question as to what men and women "are." It varies culture to culture, by religion, by race, by a history of colonialism, even, and all of this is ignored, downplayed, and erased, essentially, when one acts like there is a universally-applicable answer to what a gender "is".

[jello-shots-n-lemon-drops]

Sometimes I get so caught up in how sex is viewed as a whole that I forget what I like about it, that I’ll forget that there’s no goal other than to enjoy myself, however that may look and sound and feel like.

Sometimes that means I wanna get fucked like a bitch in heat, hard and fast and so loud I have to be gagged. Sometimes it means I wanna breed a pliant pretty thing until it can’t form words and not be touched in return. Sometimes that means I wanna make out n grind in my partner’s lap without it going beyond that. Sometimes it means I just wanna feel his tongue against my dick without the intention of cumming down his throat- or getting off at all. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the feelings, whether they reach that crescendo or not, and I don’t want to make myself feel bad for the times they don’t.

[disabledunitypunk]

Screenshot below:

[Image ID: A tumblr post with the username cut off which reads "i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet." /end ID]

No. Just no.

You don't HAVE TO do anything. ARFID is called an EATING DISORDER for a reason. What's it going to take to get it through your heads that some people cannot, under ANY circumstances, eat certain foods because of their neuroDISABILITIES. It's almost like disabilities of the brain can still make you NOT ABLE to do things!

You also have no moral obligation to be healthy. Healthism is one of the fundamental pillars of ableism. Health is a personal choice that must be fully, enthusiastically consensual (which does not mean you can mumble-grumble about the steps it takes to get there or have complex feelings that include resentment about the process or what caused the unhealthiness in the first place).

The "hi, I used to be this person!" is, get this, ALSO ABLEISM. Like good job, you had the ability to do something with effort that some people with your same disability can never do! Something that, might I add, you had no obligation to do but chose to because YOU either wanted it or were unfairly pressured to. Plus, the narrative of "you can overcome your disabilities if you try hard enough" is incredibly insidious even in disabled communities (in my experience, especially so in neurodivergent communities, but I'll also add my experiences aren't universal).

Just, everything about this post reeks of ableism. A "hey, if you're wanting to eat more veggies but can't because of sensory issues, these ways of preparing them might make them edible for you!" would have reached MORE people and accomplished more than... all of that.

I'd also like to add: healthism is how you get involuntary psychiatric holds for even people who are self-harming or using substances as a form of harm reduction. Healthism is how you get psychiatric and medical abuse that forces or manipulates you onto meds you do consent to being on (including coerced consent, as that is not consent).

Healthism and ableism both is why insurances and doctors require you to go to physical therapy to "get better" before even considering prescribing a mobility aid because "what if the mobility aid has health consequences when PT could 'fix' you?" Healthism is responsible for "do no harm" stopping at bodily harm and not taking a holistic, whole-person approach to making sure disabled people have a good quality of life.

Healthism is also a primary driver of fatphobia and to a lesser extent, medical intersexism. There is a normative idea of what "health" even is, one that is often incorrect and based in bigotry, that means deviations from that norm get blamed for any symptoms a person expresses while actual causes are ignored. "Corrective" measures are forced are many people who neither want nor need them to be healthy.

Healthism aims to make people more abled (or at least more able to conform to abled standards) without regard for their quality of life, personal wishes, or even consent. It is directly responsible for medical abuse.

It is also responsible for medical neglect, in that if you *can't* pursue a treatment option, doctors will often refuse to explore other treatments. Instead, they assume you're simply lazy and don't want to get better, and are therefore a waste of their time.

("Can't" here includes 'is technically possible but the consequences of doing so make you as sick or sicker/in as much or more pain/as or more disabled than not doing anything at all.)

Often there's another treatment option that would work just fine. Sometimes there's no viable option, and GOOD treatment then becomes exploring how to still live as fulfilling a life as possible with the condition untreated. Sometimes it's only possible to manage a disability that is usually fully possible to send into remission. There's a wide spectrum of experiences here.

But the most important thing is: what do YOU want for your body? Will conforming to standards of "health" help you feel happier and live a more preferable life for you? Will the requirements in the process of becoming "healthy" end up just making you sicker or more disabled in one way or another?

Also, are there access barriers or direct obstacles caused by your disability in the way of seeking the health outcomes you want? Are those outcomes not possible because of your disabilities, and if so, is healthy OR helpful to keep pushing yourself past your limits or trying and failing to do so? Have you made sure this is what YOU want, and not what you feel pressured into doing*?

*(Reminder to BELIEVE PEOPLE if they say it is what they want. We respect autonomy above all here.)

I've talked about this before, but recovery is about what YOU want and are able to do. There are no milestones you have to make or requirements you have to meet. It's okay to be unhealthy. Often, disability means you don't have a choice in the matter, and moralizing health is therefore moralizing disability.

It contributes to the myth that disability and chronic illness especially is a result of "bad choices", and especially the culturally christian idea that it is a "punishment" for "sinful behaviors" and "righteous behaviors" will be rewarded with the person becoming abled again.

As I said above, remember: Autonomy above all. What matters, first, foremost, and forever, is what each disabled individual wants. Helping other disabled people with tools to reach their desired bodily and psychiatric outcomes? Yes!! Do that!!

Disabled people don't owe anyone health, though, and certainly not standards of health that may make us sicker or more disabled than simply not conforming to them.