#irish jokes

[spoonful116]

Dumb jokes, Celtic asexual edition

[ly0nstea]

If the irish for bee is beach, and beekeeper is beachaire, does that mean that the irish for a thinker (thought keeper) is ceapaire?

[frsturt]

1001+ New British And Irish Themed Jokes

New Adult Jokes Daily – Guaranteed To Make You Laugh Or Your Tonsils Back! Welcome! Céad Míle Fáilte 欢 google-site-verification: google4de88e90fa1080a9.html Original jokes – created and crafted by Francis R Sturt JOKES OF THE DAY: 21/01/2024What did the police officer say to three monks having sex? Halo! Halo! Halo! What is Scouting For Girls? Boy Scouts without the sex. Two agents are in the…

[kindlespark]

messy oisin doodles bc i can’t stop thinking about howl’s human design for him. (tattoos were inspired by chinese porcelain and irish celtic designs like the triquetra!)

[luminarai]

Trent: I need to embrace my role as a wise gay mentor Trent’s ex wife: Trent: what Trent’s ex wife: last week you told me you were worried about animal control at pride Trent: well, how was I supposed to know they weren’t talking about literal bears

[werewolfetone]

[thesunsethour]

just a little reminder in light of hozier’s irish language verse:

Gaeilge = the correct, irish-language word for the irish language

Irish = the english-language word for the irish language

Gaelic = an english-language word that is derived from gaeilge.

while the use of the word “Gaelic” to describe our language is technically not incorrect, the vast majority of irish people call our language Gaeilge

so anyway i hope everyone enjoyed hozier’s verse AS GAEILGE and that we get many more irish songs in future!

[marzipanandminutiae]

why are you determined to make this joke work sir

middle-aged male tourist at the museum, during a discussion about the cafe nearby and how I recommend their hot chocolate: what's your last name?

me, thinking he's having trouble reading my name tag: oh, it's Surname

him: is that Irish?

me: well, it can be short for Longer Irish Name Containing Surname, but for my family it's English from-

him: if you were Irish, we'd know what was in that hot chocolate! haha! ;)

me: ...ah. well, I have to go relieve my colleague upstairs now, so enjoy the rest of your day!

him, still in tones of high jocularity: what about your boss? I bet he's Irish! what's his last name?

me: ooookay have a nice day bye!

[the-moons-toasty-ace]

Was at the grocery store and saw a certain brand of soap and it made me think of if Johnny and Simon had to spend time in Canada and buy a bar of Soap. Simon, thinking he was a comedian, bought a certain brand just to piss Johnny off.

Soap, from the bathroom: Uhm, Simon! There's something weird in the bathroom!

Ghost (knowing full well what it is): Really? What is it?

Soap, holding up a box of Irish Spring soap: An' what the hell do ya think you're playin' at then?

Ghost: I haven't a clue what you're talking about, Johnny.

*Meanwhile in the common room.*

Gaz: Captain, do you hear that screaming?

Price: Don't mind it, Gaz. Ghost just bought some toiletries.

Gaz: I don't see why-

Price: He said it was for the leprechaun.

Gaz: Oh.

[jelly-fish-wishes]

I’m gonna put it out there because my brain cannot contain my excitement for this idea.

First, let me explain.

When I was around…what…6? I was gifted my first ever Gameboy Advance. I only had four games. Hamtaro Ham-Ham Heartbreak (never found all of the ham chats lol), Sonic Advanced (only ever beat the game as Tails because his flying allowed me to swim out of the water when I was drowning), Super Mario World Advanced, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3 Advanced (gifted to me the day it came out. Never beat it because I kept dying to the sun on world 2 and then lost the copy)

Ok ok. This was my only source of Mario content at the time besides Mario 64, Sunshine, and Mario Party, so 6 year old me thought the “Bros” in the title meant like “friends”. You know? Like “This is my bro!” So little Jell-O here thought Mario and Luigi were friends, not brothers.

But Jell-O, you might ask. They look the same! Surely you weren’t that dumb? You underestimate my stupidity. But at the same time it made sense as to why I thought they weren’t brothers? Peach and Daisy also looked similar to me as a kid, and they weren’t related. So my confusion was justified!

So as a Hispanic child who was bilingual, when I first heard Mario say “Mama Mia,” I concluded that he was Mexican since that phrase also works in Spanish (fun fact, the direct translation of Mama Mia is “Mother of mine”). I should have taken the hint that they were blood related when I also heard Luigi say the same thing every time he died, but my dumb ass was so convinced that they weren’t related that I assume he was Irish because he was GREEN CNLKDWLKCWSNPKSDNKP. Somehow I knew what Ireland was, but not Italy 💀.

With all of this in mind, I wanna make a roommates AU where Mario and Luigi are NOT brothers. Mario is Mexican with a little bit of a potty mouth and Luigi is a superstitious Irishmen who is weary of mushrooms and ghosts (tbh, not that different from canon Luigi)

Just picture a scenario where they both try to gift each other flags of their respective countries, but they confuse both flags for the Italian Flag 😭

Luigi: *staring at the Italian flag that Mario is trying to pass off as the Irish flag* Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Mario, the flag has ORANGE, not RED.

Mario: *staring at the Italian flag that Luigi is trying to pass off as the Mexican flag* What happened to the eagle?

[sanyu-thewitch05]

YA’LL I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE!

[envy-stims]

🇺🇸 • 🤍 • 🥗 • 🐝 • 🍔

“White people when there’s coleslaw at the function”

coleslaw at the function stimboard

[martiancount1877]

jokes

What do Barack Obama and George W. Bush Jr have in common?

They both love Dick.

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What do Israeli Jews have in common with Palestinian Muslims?

They both hate Turtle Necks.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, the shabbos goy will do it.

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Why did Eve give Adam a bite from the apple instead of something nicer?

Man hadnt yet invented the housewife.

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How many hours does it take to walk across Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming, respectively?

No idea, I fly over.

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There are plenty of fish in the sea, they said.

I'm no ichthyophile.

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What do you call a gay country fella with a thick booty?

Hubba Bubba

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How much beer does a dolphin drink?

5 cans

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What game do Dwayne Johnson, the Pope & Ellen Degeneres play?

Rock, Papal, Scissors

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What does a gay Cholo and Asian men have in common?

They love doing their éses

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How do transpeople cross the road?

One splat at a time.

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Nothing worse than getting fired,

from a canon.

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What's John Oliver's drunk irish cousin's name?

Seán O'MacLiver

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What do women and transwomen have in common?

Nothing.

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What do proud and out gays and indians have in common?

They love holding hands with men.

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Recently a family of indian immigrants got food poisoning at an lgbt restaurant.

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What do they call jokes in india?

Delhihihihihi

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Fin

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Me: I’m not going to gatekeep Irish. I’m not going to do it. Nope we need people to be interested in Irish if we want Irish to see a resurgence. It will be ultimately good for us if foreigners and diaspora learn our tongue. It’s good. It’s a good thing. Don’t get mad at ignorance. It’s a good thing people are learning.

American Hozier fans: ummm acktually it’s not Irish it’s GAELIC. You’re not even Irish if you’re mixed. My great great great grandfather was an Irish National so I know more than you duh.

Me: okay you know what? I will now start looking down on ALL Hozier fans that’s not Irish. Happy now????

[nessa007]

[a-studious-reej]

Anyway lobster Bodb Derg jumpscare