#601 new original jokes

[frsturt]

1001+ New British And Irish Themed Jokes

New Adult Jokes Daily – Guaranteed To Make You Laugh Or Your Tonsils Back! Welcome! Céad Míle Fáilte 欢 google-site-verification: google4de88e90fa1080a9.html Original jokes – created and crafted by Francis R Sturt JOKES OF THE DAY: 21/01/2024What did the police officer say to three monks having sex? Halo! Halo! Halo! What is Scouting For Girls? Boy Scouts without the sex. Two agents are in the…

[humbledragon669]

Script to Screen comparison: Episode 6 – The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives P1 – large changes and deletions

Standard Intro

Having followed the episodes through with the Script Book, I've tried to break the differences between the original script and the end result on screen into a couple of different categories:

Large changes (whole scenes/multiple lines of script.

Things that are in the original script but not in the finished episode (I'm calling these deletions). This blog post will cover these and large changes only (for brevity) – additions and amendments will be covered separately.

Things that aren't in the original script but are in the finished episode (I'm calling these additions).

Things that have been changed (I'm calling these ones amendments).

Not all of the changes fit neatly into one category or the other (there are shades of grey...). The first three of the differences will be presented within bullet lists, with a description. The last of the categories will be presented in a table. I'll make comments about anything I find particularly notable after each category.

Large changes

NB: whilst going through this episode, I noticed that there were three scenes where the differences between script and screen were quite significant. There is also one section of speech that fits into this category. I’ve treated those instances as a single large change (like I did for the episode 4 script to screen analysis). The detailed changes will be placed at the end of the blog post, so you can decide whether you want to read/scroll through them or not.

Finally, the beginning of scene #602 (where Crowley arrives at the airbase in the Bentley) is identical to the end of scene #585 from episode 5, which I have already covered, so I won’t repeat myself here. With those bits of housekeeping said, let’s get started.

The setting for scene #601 is quite different in the script to what we see in the finished episode. The script has this scene opening in a dark, empty room, which we see Hastur and Dagon enter into, before standing either side of a dais. Beelzebub was then to enter, sitting herself down in the only seat available. The stage directions also have the entrance to the lift being present in this room, albeit in darkness at the beginning of the scene. There is no mention of the audience of demons behind a screen at this point in the script.

A chunk of dialogue between Crowley and Aziraphale, where the former asks the latter to introduce him to the new body, is missing from the finished episode.

Scene #605 (Anathema and Newt approaching the communications bunker) has been repositioned from its original place immediately following God’s speech that’s said over the meeting of The Them and the Horsemen.

The end of scene #605 (Newt pulling Anathema into a hiding place before they both enter the communications bunker) has been cut.

A set of lines between Adam and Madame Tracy about why she has just fired a shot is missing from the finished episode.

A handful of lines between Anathema and Newt about him being a computer engineer have been cut.

A chunk of dialogue between Pepper and War (where Pepper asserts her right to make whatever choices she wants to) just prior to War’s demise is missing from the finished episode.

The two lines between Crowley and Aziraphale about War’s flaming sword belonging to the angel have been repositioned from their original place after Pepper tells the Horsemen that they’re a joke.

Dagon’s war speech changes (see end of post for details).

Scene #613 (a conversation between Newt and Anathema after he has broken/fixed the computers) has been cut.

A couple of lines from Adam and Wensleydale about them wanting to go home have been cut from the end of the confrontation with Gabriel and Beelzebub.

Scene #615 changes.

Scene #616 changes.

Scenes #617-620 have all been cut. These were one-shots of each of The Them sleeping in their respective beds.

A handful of lines between Crowley and Aziraphale about the Bentley’s demise (whilst they are sitting on the bench) are missing from the finished episode.

A chunk of dialogue about knowing God has been cut (spoken between Crowley and Aziraphale on the bench).

Scene #623 (“Crowley” leaving his apartment) has been repositioned from its original place before “Aziraphale” arriving at the bookshop.

Scene #626 and #628 (both of them stiff interactions between Mr. Young and R.P. Tyler about Adam) have been cut.

A chunk of dialogue between Newt and Anathema about how she feels to no longer be a professional descendant is missing from the finished episode.

Scene #630 changes.

A chunk of #631 (our first sight of “Aziraphale” in Heaven), from Gabriel’s confirmation of Aziraphale’s act of treason through to the end of his speech about what he thinks the greater good is, has been repositioned from its original position from immediately following Gabriel’s claim that Aziraphale’s kidnapping was “an extraordinary rendition”.

A chunk of Crowley’s trial is missing, where Hastur gives evidence and Crowley asks to speak in his own defence.

The opening of scene #640 (repositioned) has been cut. In it, Aziraphale’s captors build the stone circle that will contain the Hellfire and he asks them what it’s for (“Barbecue”).

A chunk of scene #640 (Eric arriving in Heaven with the pot of Hellfire) has been repositioned from its original place after the dinner table scene between Madame Tracy and Shadwell. In the finished episode it sits just after Michael starts pouring the holy water into the bathtub.

A couple of lines between Sandalphon and Eric (about the deal that has been made between Heaven and Hell regarding Crowley and Aziraphale) are missing from the finished episode. This includes a shot of Eric opening the container of Hellfire, which can be seen burning.

A second chunk of scene #640 (repositioned) has been cut. This one contained an exchange between Sandalphon and Eric where the demon asks if he can hit Aziraphale, but backs out.

Usher’s indignant speech as he’s dumped into the bathtub of holy water is very different in the finished episode, with a lot of extra dialogue. Script: “What? What did I do?2Screen: “(something indecipherable) What the hell do you think you’re doing? Oh! Ow! Ahh! Wha…? No. No, no, no. What have I done? No, no! Please!” There is another scream of “Please! No!”, before he screams as he dissolves, that is additional to the script.

The end of scene #632, containing another line from Hastur where he references his dislike of jokes and Crowley starting to undress for his bath, is missing from the finished episode.

Scene #633 (an establishing shot of the outside of Shadwell’s flat) has been cut.

Part of the dinner table scene between Madame Tracy and Shadwell is missing. In it, we see Shadwell actually wiping his mouth with a serviette and Madame Tracy pouring him a glass of Guinness, despite the fact that she thinks it’s “wicked”.

Scene #646, showing “Crowley” and “Aziraphale” leaving the building containing the entrance to Heaven and Hell together, has been cut.

The opening to scene #647 (Anathema and Newt burning the Agnes’s second manuscript) is completely different in the finished episode to what was scripted. The original saw Newt igniting a fire, seemingly alone. Anathema then joins him after he asks her if she’s sure.

A sequence of shots detailing the burning of the manuscript has been cut. They would have shown the title page of the manuscript being added to twice, before the rest of the pages are thrown onto the fire. This sequence finished with the image of a smiling Agnes made from the smoke rising from the fire.

There is another shot of a smoky Agnes that has been cut. This one would have been seen just before R.P. Tyler yells at Adam for stealing his apples. In it, she was to wink at Adam.

This being the last episode of the season, it was always going to have a lot of content, all of which needed to serve a purpose, whilst keeping us interested and engaged. I suspect that is likely the reason for the large number of components that have been repositioned, particularly with regard to the trial scenes in Heaven and Hell – I feel like the end result is very effective in conveying the idea that there are multiple storylines that all intertwine with one another but must ultimately find their own resolution, independently of, but relying entirely on, the events that have happened in all of the others. I think the post-production crew have done a brilliant job of stitching all of these elements together, cutting and repositioning parts of the original script to produce a flowing narrative that isn’t confusing or frustrating.

There is only one of the missing chunks that I miss, and it’s the exchange between Crowley and Aziraphale about being introduced to the angel’s “new body”. The only reason I miss it is for this line:

AZIRAPHALE: Oh. Yes. Right. Madame Tracy, this is Crowley. He’s… Well, we’re sort of business associates.

I feel like there was an opportunity for a LOT of sub-text to be had here. And maybe Crowley’s equivalent of Aziraphale’s eyebrow raise reaction Shax’s comment in the car in season 2 (you know the one). I also feel like we did actually get this line, albeit slightly rewritten in the first episode of season 2, so perhaps I’m not alone in seeing the potential it had.

On the other hand, the cut scene of Crowley and Aziraphale leaving the HQ building together after their trials have finished is one that I can completely understand the need to remove. I don’t think it really adds anything to the story, and I actually find the idea of them meeting up in one of their old rendezvous locations much more charming. There’s something about them emerging from their respective ex-workplaces at exactly the same moment that just doesn’t feel believable to me (yes, I know I’m talking about a show with a pretty fantastical premise, but you get the gist). Ask me to suspend disbelief that an angel and a demon could switch bodies and fool Heaven and Hell, I’m all in. Tell me that afterwards they manage to meet in the lobby as they’re leaving as some sort of coincidence? Get real I say! Don’t ask me how my brain works, because I just don’t know.

I’m also quite glad we lost the shot of Agnes in the sky overseeing Newt and Anathema burn her manuscript. I get the idea – she’s watching over her descendant making her very first choice, free from the burden of a 400-year-old ancestor, and she’s happy about it. And I do like that idea, in essence. My problem with it is two-fold – firstly, there has been no hint that Agnes has been watching over any of her descendants in the entire series. She’s been completely removed from the whole process, in anything other than the written word. Why would she suddenly appear to offer her approval now? Secondly, I just feel like the whole concept of her appearing in the smoke quite cartoon-ey. Harsh? Probably, but it’s just how I feel.

Deletions

Part of Usher’s court announcement speech where he announces Beelzebub as presiding over the proceedings.

Beelzebub inviting Hastur to open proceedings at the end of the opening scene of Crowley’s trial.

Crowley holding up his hand (in a “talk-to-the-hand type way) to Aziraphale when the angel tries to pull him away from the Bentley.

Shadwell shaking his head in disbelief at his own actions when he thinks he has caused the guard to disappear.

Newt and Anathema running past the collection of sleeping soldiers on their way to the communications bunker.

Anathema shielding her eyes from the sight of the auras from the Horsemen.

Anathema specifying it’s the auras of the Horsemen that are negative (script version: “Negative auras.”)

Death telling Adam he does not have to ask for Armageddon to begin.

Death telling Adam that the events taking place have been written.

Shadwell holding the thundergun in the jeep.

A second instance of the thundergun being pointed at Adam when Madame Tracy is wrestling Aziraphale for possession of her own body.

Aziraphale trying to convince Madame Tracy that Adam must die “for the greater good”.

A tartan cummerbund worn by Aziraphale after he and Madame Tracy separate.

Two sentences from Anathema where she states that the whole world is at war with one another.

War inching closer to Pepper after the girl calls the Horsemen a joke.

Pepper asking Adam what to do before he tells her to say what she believes.

A small voiceover speech from God about the dangers of swords when left unattended.

A small voiceover speech from God about Pollution’s demise.

A glance from Famine to Death, looking for help after Pollution disappears into the sword.

A desperate looking Famine backing away from Wensleydale after he picks up the sword.

A small voiceover speech from God about Famine’s demise.

Anathema grinning before she tells Newt to “fix” the computers.

A shot of the objects belonging to the Horsemen and Death smiling.

Fragments of the prophecy that Aziraphale catches (the script has the prophecy in full).

Shadwell beckoning Newt over to join him after Pepper Anathema calls him her boyfriend.

Gabriel transforming from a “FIGURE OF PURE LIGHT” into human form.

Beelzebub transforming from a “hellish, fly-like creature” into human form.

A shot of all the people on the tarmac waiting to hear Adam’s answer to Beelzebub about wanting to rule the world.

Adam responding to Gabriel when he calls him “young man”.

Dust blowing across the airbase after Gabriel and Beelzebub have left.

A shot of Aziraphale looking “humbled” that they have all survived after Madame Tracy declares Gabriel and Beelzebub as “odd”.

A shot of The Them joining hands as Satan starts to break through the earth.

Aziraphale wiping the bottle top and handing the wine bottle to Crowley after taking a swig whilst on the bench.

Lesley looking at his clipboard to check that all the items are accounted for in the box.

A shot of Lesley putting the box into the van and then climbing into the cab.

Aziraphale nodding after Crowley reminds him that the bookshop has burned down.

A shot of the empty bench after the bus leaves.

Adam hugging his mum after she tells him he can go out in the garden.

Newt saying good morning to Anathema after he has kissed her awake.

A shot of Beelzebub, Hastur and Dagon after “Crowley” asks them what his sentence is going to be.

A line from Hastur about Hell’s intention to delete Crowley “as painfully” as possible.

Dagon telling “Crowley” that co-operating with Heaven is an act of diplomacy that he should appreciate.

Eric looking around the Heavenly space he walks through.

Eric declaring that the Heavenly office has a “nice view”.

Baddicombe holding a notebook when he delivers the package to Jasmine Cottage.

Two names (Robey, Robey) from the start of the law firm name on Baddicombe’s business card.

Baddicombe telling Newt he doesn’t know the full story behind the package because he only joined the firm 15 years before.

God stipulating that the instructions left in Agnes’s package also provided the location it was to be delivered to.

A shrug from Baddicombe after the flashback to Robey’s house.

Anathema looking at Newt and biting her lip after she reads the title of the new manuscript.

Madame Tracy calling Shadwell “love” when she tells him he found her.

Two flaming swords being wielded by Sandalphon and Uriel when “Aziraphale” is released from the chair.

Gabriel telling “Aziraphale” he won’t be meeting them again because the pillar of fire is Hellfire and will destroy the angel completely.

“Crowley” waving at Beelzebub after asking for a rubber duck.

“Crowley” deliberately dripping holy water on the floor whilst in the bathtub, causing flames to flare up where it lands.

The glass screen in front of the demon audience turning opaque when Beelzebub declares there’s nothing to see.

Four actions relating to “Crowley” getting out of the bath:

Actually vacating the tub.

Towelling himself down.

Doing up his shirt.

Picking up the rest of his clothes.

A shot of Michael looking at Crowley’s persecutors after being asked to miracle him a towel.

A shot of Anathema picking up the title page of the manuscript to throw on the fire.

Adam shrugging when told that his mum told The Them they couldn’t speak to him.

A line from Pepper about The Them using their bikes to go to Norton.

Dog looking at Adam before running through the newly formed gap in the hedge.

Adam laughing as he runs after Dog.

A shrug from Crowley before saying it’s time for them to leave the “garden”.

A black screen that would lead into the credits after the second verse of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square”.

What struck me as interesting when I was noting these down is that the majority of the deletions for this episode are not in the dialogue, but from the stage directions. So much so that I started to get irritated with the author for being almost dictatorial about the way the actors should play their parts, or that the editors should construct the finished scene. I am not a professional writer, and what I say here is just my own amateur opinion of course, so please forgive me if it comes across as ignorant. I just felt that the script was far too prescriptive about the reactions, movements, and specifics of scene setting – after all, there is little point in employing people to put a show together if you’re going to insist that they can only do it if they do it in a particular way. All of that said, somebody (or somebodies) somewhere along the way had the artistic integrity and talent to tweak, adjust, and ignore the original script where necessary. Some of the things of this list feel distinctly out of character to me (Crowley’s “talk-to-the-hand gesture for instance), others feel unnecessary (like having Sandalphon and Uriel brandish swords), and others just don’t seem to add anything (like Shadwell holding the thundergun in the jeep), so I’m glad that the majority of them never made it into the finished episode – I actually don’t think there’s a single one of them that I miss.

Dagon’s war speech

The easiest way to demonstrate this is to simply show the original scripted version followed by the version we see in the episode – the changes are just too fiddly to write out, and would be very tedious to read.

Script

Screen

Scene #615 changes

The stage directions describe Crowley’s wings if they are in fact just very dirty and tired, rather than being black.

The script has Crowley running his hand through his hair before he puts his sunglasses on.

The stage directions detail a shot of Adam where he is seen in the foreground with Crowley and Aziraphale in the background, as if they are perched on a shoulder each. This shot has been repositioned to the next scene, as Adam tells Satan that he’s not his dad.

Aziraphale’s original description of Adam: “But you aren’t either of those things. You’re better than that.” Episode version: “But you’re not either of those things. You’re much better.”

Crowley pulling the crank handle from his jacket has been repositioned from its original place at the end of the time freeze scene.

A line from Crowley, where he tells Adam he will need to act fast once he restarts time, has been cut.

Crowley and Aziraphale holding Adam’s hands is additional to the script.

The stage directions have Aziraphale’s sword bursting into flame after he tells Adam that they will beside him, whatever happens, rather than being alight from the start of the scene.

The script version of the scene ends with Crowley pulling a tyre iron from his pocket, rather than the shot of him winding the engine crank handle.

Scene #616 changes

The script has Crowley starting to explain that Satan’s about to appear. This is missing from the finished episode.

The stage directions state that a “BIG EXPLOSION” should announce Satan’s arrival, but this is not evident in the finished cut.

There are two mentions of how Satan should be represented on screen, both mention that he would be made our of smoke, and be hazy. The physical manifestation of the devil we see in the finished episode is not mentioned in the script.

The stage directions have Satan materialising on the grass.

The script has a second explosion that knocks everyone to the ground. This is missing from the finished episode.

The stage directions mention a red smoke that is everywhere, but this is not seen in the episode.

Crowley’s encouragement for Adam to “say it again” is additional to the script.

The stage directions specify a close up of Adam’s eyes that has been replaced by the shot of Crowley and Aziraphale appearing to be on his shoulders.

Mr. Young getting out of the car has been repositioned from its original place of after Crowley declaring that Adam has won the battle.

The structure of Mr. Young’s only line of dialogue is different. It was originally scripted to be delivered as a single line (after getting out of the car), rather than being split up across other dialogue.

A shot of The Them leaving on their bikes is missing from the finished episode.

Scene #630 changes

There are a few changes to the scene setting component of this scene – the stage directions have a child eating an ice cream that is missing, the family of tourists was supposed to consist of three children (not just one), and we were meant to see a “tall figure” feeding the ducks.

The shot of park keepers has been repositioned from its original place immediately before the conversation between the British and Russian agents (they can be seen in the background as “Crowley” and “Aziraphale” get their ice cream and lolly).

The British agent originally described the kraken as a beast (rather than a monster).

“Crowley” and “Aziraphale” were supposed to be in a queue. And the queue was supposed to be for an ice cream van, rather than a little cart.

“Crowley” originally ordered a “Mr Whippy” rather than a “vanilla” ice cream.

“Crowley” handing the ice cream to “Aziraphale” has been repositioned from its original place immediately after it had been ordered.

Original description of bookshop given by “Aziraphale”: “Everything is back just as it was. Have your people been in touch yet?” Episode version: “Everything back just the way it was. You heard from your people?”

The stage directions have Death nodding at “Crowley” and “Aziraphale” before turning and walking away.

The shot of Death vanishing is additional to the script.

A line from “Crowley” about his friend being kidnapped is missing from the finished episode.

Hastur hitting “Crowley” has been repositioned from its original place after he tells him “bad luck”.

“Crowley” was originally scripted to collapse differently, with a sway before we see the world going “swimmy”, when he then falls to his knees.

“Crowley’s scripted line after being hit: “It’s not a problem. Everything’s tickety-boo.” Episode version: “It’s not a problem. It’s tickety-boo.”

A shot of the van containing “Aziraphale” driving away from the park has been cut.

The scene was supposed to end with a black screen.

[overanalyst556]

A Review of Eastern Bloc Cars.

Eastern Bloc cars. Automobiles that came from nations dominated by the Iron Curtain and the Soviet Union. Even though I hate communism and socialism with a burning passion, You cannot deny how iconic the Eastern Bloc cars are.

Today when most people think of an Eastern Bloc car, they think of a car like a Trabant: Broken unreliable, and just not a good ride all around. This sucks because in my eyes the Eastern Bloc cars are severely underrated.

So I took it upon myself to research the most iconic eastern bloc cars and to review and rate them from best to worse.

Apologies if you guys were expecting another history review, I swear this is not becoming a car blog, I swear! Plus it's nice to talk about something for a change that doesn't involve war.

Think of this like a review of cars, except they're from Eastern Europe. An area of Europe that had cars inferior to their Western counterparts.

Fun fact, I originally started this yesterday but got deleted because I had to restart it due to a bug. So I'm starting from scratch.

Anyway without further ado, Let's dive into the weird world of Eastern Bloc cars.

Trabant 601

The Trabant was an absolute joke of a car. It's infamous for the fact that it symbolizes to fall of Communism and the downfall of the Berlin Wall. Even so, is the Trabant really as bad as people say it is? Yes.

Design-wise, I'm going to be honest, I might be the only person that actually likes the design and considers this the best part of the car. It's so simple and basic as hell, that you can't help but find it iconic and lovable.

Despite my loving the design of the Trabi, That's really all the positives I have with this car. So where do I even start? Well, I believe we should start with what it's made of because good lord.

The Trabant body is made out of Duroplast, A resin plastic. But the ingredients for Duroplast are basically recycled waste, more specifically cotton waste, and phenol (A type of acid) resins.

Yeah, when you look at that, it's probably not the best when it comes to that. It's also cramped inside due to the interior, and really loud as well. But the worst offense of the Trabant by far is the engine.

The Trabant's engine was a two-stroke engine manufactured by the defunct German car company DKW. While it was modern at the time, Eventually two-stroke engines began to be phased out by more reliable four-stroke engines, But the Trabant didn't do that.

Instead, they kept the same engine long after it was phased out. The reason for this is that the two-stroke engines, due to the nature of the design, burn fuel very fast. As a result, there was smoke and gas fumes coming out of the car.

So not only do we have a car made out of waste, it emits smoke fuels too. That's just fucking great, isn't it? There were attempts to replace the engine with a more modern one, but because East Germany didn't have the funds to build a new engine, it remained like that.

Yes, the East German government, which had ways of trying to fix the engine, decided to leave the obsolete and broken engine for at least until 1990 instead of improving it. Great job guys.

And it gets crazier. As if the bad quality of the car wasn't horrible enough, the wait time you do to even get one is even worse. People are put on a waiting list most of the time to receive their car.

In a standard that is actually the same theme with most Eastern Bloc cars, The waiting time to get a Trabant was about 10 to 13 years. Yes, you had to wait 10 to 13 years to even get a car that barely works. Communism at its finest.

The speed is also the slowest by a whopping 100km/h(62mph), embarrassing (Though then again this was the same standard for the other cars too)

Overall, The Trabant is pretty much considered the worst car ever made by many people and while not the worst for me, I definitely see why it's hated. The design may be iconic, But it's not enough to save a car that is broken, slow, loud, and emits smoke faster than a barbecue.

Yet this was the most common car in former East Germany, with a number of 2,818,547 produced from 1964 to 1990. Even though people had to wait a long time before they can get one.

Bottom of the list so far, Let's move on.

Skoda Octavia

The Skoda Octavia is the first Czechoslovakian (Czech Republic) car on the list. Produced from 1959 To 1971 with a number of 229,531 units, This was one of the big hits for Czechoslovakia, during the 1960s

While the Information on this car is short, I was able to gain some info on this.

Designwise, It looks great. Compared to the Trabant, the design is less simplistic and more iconic of the era. The wagon style certainly helps as well to make it more distinct.

The features are an improvement. It has redesigned front axles with a coil spring and shock absorbers that were designed to absorb shock impulses. The engine too, is an improvement with a straight four engine instead of a two-stroke engine.

As well as the speed, which it has a speed of 110 to 115 km/h(68 to 71mph) While not by much, It's an improvement over the sluggish Trabant.

Fun fact, the car name was brought back in 1996 for a new model, which is oddly still being used today.

Overall, this car is an improvement over the Trabant, Design, and Technical. Then again I expect a lot from Czech cars so. Top of the list baby, Let's move on.

Skoda 110r

Huh, would you look at that? Another Skoda! In all honestly, it's kind of an upgrade of the Octavia, despite coming from a different series . Produced from 1970 to 1980 with a total of 56,902 cars made, This was the Porche of the East which is saying something.

Design-wise, It has the most unique front I've seen in an Eastern Bloc car, with a look of a sports car honestly even though it was from a similar model. Ironic, considering it was used for motorsport. Still though, Nice design.

Technical features didn't change much with the exception of only two doors and a fastback rear which Gives its distinctive look.

Engine and Speed are pretty much the same as the Octavia, With a total of 145km/h(90mph) and the engine being a straight four engine.

Overall, however, This is like the Octavia, but actually modern at least by 70s standards. The design is an improvement, and the technical details are more modern at least, But the engine and speed are still the same as the Octavia. Still though, Not a bad car.

Top of the list, but only barely. Let's see if can we get a car that beats this.

Moskovitch 408

Our first car from the Soviet Union ( Russia), The Moskovitch 408 was a revolution for the Moskovitch car brand. Produced from 1964 to 1975 with numbers in the thousands, This small family car was the second best-selling Moskovtich car of the 1970s.

Design-wise, It's something. For a car that came out in 1964, A time when most Soviet cars looked like a Trabant on stilts, This is a big upgrade. It has a squared-off body with a flat roof panel and sharp tailfins.

Technical-wise, It had many modern features for its era, with Drum brakes ( Power brakes from 1969 onward.) As well as a better engine with an overhead value engine giving it 50 hp ( Horsepower).

Also, and let me say this, The 408 is the First Soviet car to actually have safety features. This is funny cause Soviet cars rarely had that many safety features beforehand and generally would lead to accidents like this.

Safety features include crumple zones, a safer steering column, a softer grip, and finally fucking seatbelts that they didn't think to introduce earlier.

The speed is about 130km/h( 80 mph). Not as fast as the Czech Skoda 110r but still decent than the Trabant and even outpaces the Octavia.

This car was exported to the eastern bloc nations as well as Finland of all places

Overall, the Moskovitch 408 is a decent car. Design-wise it's better than Moskovitch's other works previously. And the technical stuff is a bonus, Plus we finally have safety features. Thank the lord for that.

Higher than the Trabant and Octavia, but putting it behind the 110r. Still, though not bad for our first Soviet car.

Wartburg 353

Ah yes, we return to East Germany. As if shitting out Trabants wasn't enough, we have the Wartburg 353. In all honesty, This might be the best car East Germany has, and that's a bold statement.

Produced from 1966 to 1988 in a total of 1 million, the Wartburg was a modern car for its time. It might just be one of the best cars of the Eastern Bloc, In terms of design and technicality. And I mean that.

Design-wise, It's a step up from the Trabant. While it's simple, It's actually durable and has a strong chassis car frame to back it up. It's dependable and easy to care for. Obviously, it's no Western car, but it's a massive step up in terms of design quality.

Technical aspects include Front rear drive, which significantly improved the steering, a trunk, and by 1983, Innovative electric gauges.

The engine is the biggest flaw, however, with the same two-stroke engine as the Trabant. I think you know where that leads, although to be fair, It was less severe than the Trabant (though it was still an issue)

But it's the speed that stands out among all others. What's that? Keep your mic up your ass Johnston, we're coming in hot for a fucking 170km/h (105mph)

Easily the fastest car on the List. I don't think anything can top that. I will be hard-pressed into finding a car that triumphs this.

The Wartburg was massively popular in the Eastern Bloc but it took about 10 to 15 years for people to actually get one because of communism and insane wait times.

Overall, This car is the best so far. it's an all-rounder, Plain and simple. The design is great, the technical stuff is decent and the speed is insane. The only flaws of this car are the engine, the wait time, and the fact It was used as a car for the secret police so I deduct some points.

Yes, it was used for that. It will be common as time goes on. Other than that though, this car is great. Top of the list with ease.

Fso Polonez

Our first-ever car on this list from Poland, the Fso Polonez is probably one of the most famous and most produced cars from Poland. If you live in Poland, Then you might have heard of this car.

It was produced from 1978 to 2002 with a total of 1 million units, not including the truck and pickup versions. This is the first true modern car of the Eastern Bloc on this list ( and the only one).

Design-wise, we have our first hatchback-shaped car, a design that you may have seen before when getting a car. This design works cause it's modern for 1980s Poland, A time when they still had cars dating back to the 60s or just got a Fiat.

Technical features were based on its predecessor Fiat licensed model, the Polski Fiat 125p. It had a modernized engine as well as the chassis, all came from the Polski Fiat.

The biggest advantage of the car, however, was the safety. This might be the safest car in the Eastern Bloc. It's weird, I know. Considering this is the eastern bloc we are talking about. The car was the only Eastern Bloc car to pass the Us safety tests.

The speed of this bad boy is 175km/h (109mph) So like the Wartburg but a little faster. Impressive from Poland.

So remember when I said that It would be hard to find a car that beats the Wartburg 353? I kinda lied, because we found a winner right here. Sorry.

Overall, the Fso Polonez is a near-perfect design for Eastern Bloc cars. Great design, Nice technical issues, Incredible safety, And Sick speed. I think we may just have found the winner here.

Top of the list with ease, Surpasses the Wartburg. This might be the final time I change the top spot.

Vaz 2101

Ahh yes, here comes the first of three Lada cars on this list. Starting with the first-ever Lada. The Vaz 2101, commonly nicknamed Kopyeka( Which is a name for the smallest Soviet coin in the Soviet currency.), was produced between 1970 and 1988 with a total of millions of these cars were made.

I think I posted this a while back, I don't know when, but I didn't describe it.

Design-wise, I love it. Even though it's basically a licensed Fiat 124, this has become iconic for me. The simplistic design is perfect for Russian steppes. The front is enjoyable, and in general, I like the front wheel, rear-engine design a lot for cars and this is no different.

Technical features are where the car is different from the Fiat by giving it 800 modifications in order to be tailor-made for the Russian climate, such as suspension, rear brakes, carburetor, and thicker gauge(sheet metal) steel, Making it more comfortable in a ride.

The engine is mostly a decent engine in that It uses a petrol engine, which by itself, reduces the problem of fuel burning fast. As well as possessing a crank to start should the battery fall flat in Siberian winter.

The speed of the Lada is 140km/h (87mph). So fast speed also counts as well. Pretty much the biggest influence the Lada has is its influence on Russian motoring. The Lada pretty much changed the face of the Russian automobile industry as it slowly tried to modernize. So Russians better thank they had the Lada in some sense.

Overall, The Vaz 2101( Or Lada)is possibly one of the best Soviet cars ever made. The design is great, the technical stuff is a boost up for an already licensed car from Fiat and the speed is top-notch. The only flaws are the wait time and the fact that it was a licensed car and not something originally.

I Would put it in front of the Skoda 110r but behind the Wartburg 353. Still, Third place is not bad.

Yugo

This car sucks fucking dick man, there's no doubt about it. I think It might just be the worst of the cars on this list, and it's something after I smashed the Trabant.

Produced from 1980 to 2008 in Yugoslavia, This trash dumpster was produced with a total of 794,428 Yugos by the end of production. This is the antithesis of a good car and the automobile industry as a whole.

I don't even like the design of the car, It looks so weird and a little ugly. You know you screwed up a car when the design is so similar and weird as fuck. That is impressive. I have a gif to describe this car.

And when I mean quality, there is almost none at all. I think one person gave a review about his experience on the Yugo and he brings up some pretty good points. Let me show you.

rob5740: I owned a 1985 1/2, year model, you read that correctly. It was only built to last a year, but most things gave out right away. No tinted glass, no glove box. Gas cap would not come off, even full-service stations could not remove it to provide me gas. The door release and window cranks were cheap plastic, I noticed them with cracks during the test drive, they snapped off and I had to roll the window down with the remaining piece and open the doors from the outside! It struggled with more than two passengers, flooring it on an even surface, and no power. Replaced the radio 3 times, and three clutches on a car that I was done with at 25,000 miles. Knobs fell off the radio, old sliding channel finder stuck, foam around the air vent and heater chipped out, would not go into gears and also not come out of gear, On highway driving the stick shift would almost melt into place and a huge yank with huge force was all that would bring it from fourth gear to first to stopping. Cover to stick shift came off in my hand once, one time the engine disengaged from the motor so the key made no difference I could not turn it off so we abandoned it and let it run out of fuel on the side of the road. You never knew if the ignition would work, sometimes it was dead and also had to be replaced. Door hinges that were designed to make the doors feel heavier broke off, paint on the exterior ground trim rubbed off, light bulbs were burning out everywhere, rear single strut failed to hold the hatch up new. Other things wrong....signal indicator would speed up then super slow down, hood release came completely out in your hand detached but somehow if you stuck it back in it worked! numerous wheel alignments but the wheel always veered off, and could not handle gravel or dirt roads you'd be shaken to death, seats were stiff and uncomfortable, lacked power in wind, and wind would sway the car out of lanes if you didn't fight against it. Covers to pedals were not glued so you could just peal them off, cardboard interior walls had bent areas and were fading new, no cup holders, would roll backward on hills, and you were never sure of anything, what would break or not work next, it did not want to be a car, even children's toys are made safer and better to last, I found it hard to believe humans had made anything so cheap, what is the point of making things that never work, to begin with? Water would come in the driver's side window in the rain, and going over bumps you would hear almost a strain on the frame, tiny and cramped. Brakes were good, wipers were good, cute attention-getting, but none of that matters when nearly everything else was cheap and defective, literally a paperclip held the plastic together in the door releases. Battery was a relic, needed water in its cells.

You see what I mean. I don't even need to mention the speed in the fact that despite it being 86 mph ( 138km/h), It was the slowest car in the United States. How is this car progressively worse than Nidai's shits?

Okay, Not everything about the Yugo is bad, The brakes are good, the speed is surprisingly good and if you take care it, it might be okay, but in honesty, The Yugo is without a doubt one of if not the worst cars ever made.

Aside from the positives, I'm not gonna even warrant this a full review, because the flaws are there in plain sight. Easilly bottom of the list, yes it's worst than the Trabant of all cars.

God lord, What do we have next.

Dacia 1300

The First and only Romanian car on this list, The Dacia 1300 isn't perfect, But compared to our last entry, It's better. Produced from 1969 to 2003 with a total of 1,959,730, This was one of the most common cars in Romania at the time.

Design-wise, It's decent. It looks sleek, Like a Mercedes. Despite the fact the design was based on a Renault, It was modern when it first came out, compared to most Eastern Bloc cars at the time.

Technical-wise, it has Some issues. While the performance and engine were up to date, the main issue was the body panel corrosion, as well as the fact that there was no air conditioning, anti-lock brakes, or even a fucking airbag. Think about that for a second.

The speed was basically 145 km/h(90mph). A fast speed, Not the fastest, but fast enough.

Overall, the Dacia 1300 is a decent car, With some issues. Also, it's a secret police car as well, so automatic deduction of points.

I'm putting It behind the Skoda 110r but above the Moskovitch 408.

Tatra 603

Okay, so I said in a post that this is the weirdest car ever made. I still stand by that fact, However, I like it A lot. Produced by Czech car maker Tatra from 1956 to 1975 with a total of 20,000 cars, The 603 is one of the most forgotten cars when people think of Eastern bloc cars.

Designwise, Like I said earlier, It's weird. But it's the fun kind of weird and not the bad weird. The frontal area looks like it came from the Twilight Zone. The car body is sleek and smooth, It radiates luxury in its entirety. Just look at it and you will see why.

Technical stuff, It had suspension, Shock absorbers, Coil springs, and a synchronized gearbox that gave it four speeds. That's pretty much what I found.

The engine is actually reliable, due to the V8 air engine being air cooled so that gives it some better quality.

The Speed was also fast for a car like that, at a rumored 170km/h(106mph). Surprisingly it was a luxury car reserved only for Communist party officials. Ordinary people couldn't get this car.

Overall, the 603 is a Sick ride if I have seen one, The design is the main highlight, but the features are not terrible and the speed is fast. I'm putting ahead of the Wartburg 353 but behind the Fso Polonez.

I'm feeling like I'm losing some quality with this review, so tell me If the quality has changed.

Gaz 13 Chaika

I know what You guys are thinking, No this is not an American 50s car, This is a Soviet-made limo. Produced from 1959 to 1981 in a total of 3,179 cars produced, This was the Main limo for the Soviet leadership, even though It looks like an American car, and the Soviets hated the Americans. Ironic hypocrisy.

Design-wise, It's an American-styled car simple as that. Given that it was styled for Communist officials, I can see why they did this, but it's coming off as copying someone's work. I think it feels good inside.

Technical details are independent suspension with spring coils

The engine is basically the same as in the Tatra 603, the V8 so nothing has really changed much there.

The speed is 159km/h ( 99mph), Which is surprisingly fast for a limo. This thing was used by the Communist officials of Soviet Russia as well as East Germany and Hungary for example. The limo was also used and rented for weddings.

Overall, Not a bad car. Given the design resembles American cars in the 50s and since the car industry was at its peak there, It looks a little bit better than most, but not by much.

I would put it above the Vaz 2101 but bellow the Wartburg 353.

Lada Niva

Possibly the first Suv of Soviet Russia, The Lada Niva is the longest-running off-road light vehicle still produced in its original form. Produced from 1977 to the present day in a total of 650,000, Possibly more, the Niva is an icon of a Suv.

Design-wise, It looks great. It looks like a compact SUV in general, Considering that this is the Soviet Union we are talking about here, the fact they even made this SUV at all is something.

Technically, It definitely has modern stuff for its age. Independent suspension, coil springs, rear seatbelts, Right external mirror, an anti-locking service mirror, The list goes on and on.

The Engine is powered by a petrol engine, which proved to be effective when traversing the high terrain of the Soviet Union and later Russia.

The speed is okay, A mild 130km/h (81mph) Never really hurt anyone. Also, the safety is horrendous, during tests in the 2000s, the car's survivability was so bad that if a crash happened, the person could suffer traumatic brain incidents.

Overall, the Lada Nia is a cool SUV that is incredibly useful when traversing difficult roads, and has a lot of features, But needs to improve safety.

Behind the Chaika, but above the Vaz 2101.

Lada Riva

The Lada Riva is the last of the Lada series of cars that are on this list. Out of all of them, this is basically a modernized Vaz 2101 and one of my favorite eastern bloc cars. Produced from 1980 to 2012 with a total of 3,000,000 units, the Lada Riva was the successor to the old generation of Ladas.

Design-wise, Like I said it's a modern Vaz 2101, the front does look a little more streamlined than the original, like it's a Mercedes, and the hull and car, in general, are noticeably bigger than the Vaz 2101, But it's still a Vaz 2101. through and through.

The technical stuff is basically drum brakes with brake shoes on them, Coil springs, and manual transmissions.

The engine turned out to be a straight four petro engine, Which definitely helped it survive until 2012.

The speed of the Lada Riva was however insane about 180km/h(112mph), Making it the fastest car in the Soviet Union and the eastern bloc.

This probably beats the Fso Polonez in terms of well, everything. The design, while a redesign of an older car, still looks good, The engine is great, the technicals are decent, And the speed is madness.

I said I would not change this, but come on, I have to, The Riva takes the top spot from the Polonez. It's without a doubt the best of the Eastern Bloc.

Overall, really decent car to have.

Gaz 24 Volga

Last but not least we have the Gaz 24 Volga from the Soviet Union. Produced from 1970 to 1985 and then produced as the Gaz 24 10 during the Gorbachev Years from 1985 to 1992, with a total of 1 and a half million, this car struck fear into people. If you lived in Russia during the 1970s, You would fear the Volga.

Designwise, It looks modern compared to its predecessor. The front looks like something you would see in a horror film, The body is progressively bulkier than before, And the back has a trunk in the back.

Technical-wise, it's more modern than the Gaz 21 with it having a rear bumper, flat ashtrays in rear doors, and a modern radio. More modern upgrades include the use of seatbelts instead of central armrests, Windshield wipers, and many more.

The engine of the car flip-flops between a straight four engine at one time or a v8 engine at the other. All I know is that these two engines were used throughout this car's lifetime.

The speed of the car is 145km/h(90 mph), slightly faster than the Lada. this was also used as a taxi car, pretty much being the only taxi car in the Ussr. In fact, nobody privately owned these except for the higher-ups

Overall the Gaz 24 is a solid car, With a modern design, technical improvements, and nice speed. I will have to deduct points for its police car status.

I will put it ahead of the Vaz 2101 but behind the Lada Niva.

Conclusion

Well, this was a long time for me to make. I never expected to make it this long, I had more to put in here but after seeing the amount of time I took and how much I put in, I started to reduce it. Maybe I will do part 2 of this, But I don't know if I could.

In the end, though, it was fun to talk about the Eastern Bloc cars and see if they are better, which are ehhh.

So before I Sign off, Let me give you the final results of the list as well as some honorable mentions.

1st: Lada Riva

2nd: Fso Polonez

3rd: Tatra 603

4th: Wartburg 353

5th: Gaz 13 Chaika

6th: Lada Niva

7th: Gaz 24 volga

8th: Vaz 2101 (Lada)

9th Skoda 110r

10th: Dacia 1300

11th: Moskovich 408

12th: Skoda Octavia

13th: Trabant 601

14th: Yugo

Honorable mentions

Zaporthzets series.

Gaz 21 Volga

Fso Syrena

Wartburg 311

Skoda 100

Barkas B 1000

Zil 114

Skoda 1203

This has been Sam and I hope you all enjoyed it. This might be the only car review I will ever make, But it was nice to do something different for once. Have a good rest of your day! :)

[filthy-vigilantes]

Batman: Where to start

***long post***

Getting in to comics is rather hard and finding a good starting place or a good recommended must-reads is hard and confusing and you typically get hundreds of different answers.

This is my personal list, that I'm working through and hope to collect. I've done quite a bit of research and feel like this is a adequate reading list for modern (post-crisis) Bruce Wayne

Anyways here's the list in primary chronological order:

Batman: Year One (Batman Vol 1 #404-#407)

This story line established the back story for Batman in the post-crisis timeline, along with the back stories for Commissioner Gordon and Selina Kyle. Not necessarily canon anymore, but a good story to get the feel of the characters

Batman: The Man Who Laughs

This is a one shot that was published in 2005 that tells the story of Batman's first encounter with the Joker roughly a year after the Batman's debut in Gotham. Based on the Joker's original first appearance in Batman Vol 1 #1.

Batman and the Monster Men

This is a 6 part mini series that takes place sometime after Batman: Year One and Batman: The Man Who Laughs. First half of the Dark Moon Rising series. Story revolves around Batman's first dealing with Hugo Strange

Batman and the Mad Monk

This is another 6 part mini series that is the second half of the Dark Moon Rising series. It is a retelling of a story from Detective Comics Vol 1 #31-32

Batman: The Long Halloween

This is a 13 part limited series, that serves as a re-introduction of the Calendar Man and features a wide array of Batman's rouge gallery such as Two-Face, Scarecrow, Riddler, Joker, and Poison Ivy.

Batman: Dark Victory

This is a 14 part limited series that is a sequel to The Long Halloween. The main case in the story is a turf war between Two-Face and the Falcon Mafia. It also serves as a re-telling of Dick Grayson's Robin origin.

Batman: Birth of the Demon (TPB)

This is a collection of 3 Batman one shots: Son of the Demon, Bride of the Demon, and Birth of the Demon. All stories center around Ra's al Ghul and Talia al Ghul.

Batman: Strange Apparitions (Detective Comics Vol 1 #469-479)

This collection reintroduces Golden Age villains such as Hugo Strange and Dead shot along with introducing new villains such as Doctor Phosphorus and Clayface III.

Batman: The Killing Joke

A 60 page one shot that hints at the Jokers true identity, along with pushing the Jokers madness to new extremes, and showing just how dangerous he can be.

Batman: the Cult

This is a 4 issue mini series, in which Batman gets captured, torture and brain washed by Deacon Blackfire. This is also one of the few stories written by Jim Starlin that shows Jason Todd in a favorable light, as Starlin had a dislike for the character and kid sidekicks.

Batman: Death in the Family (Batman Vol 1 #426-429)

The famous 4 issue story arc that allowed readers to vote on the fate of the then current Robin, Jason Todd.

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying (Batman Vol 1 #440-442)

This story is the introduction of Tim Drake and his taking of the Robin Mantle. The story also involves a case with Two-Face

Batman: The Last Arkham (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1-4)

This story shows us the inner workings of Arkham Asylum, along with introducing new villains such as Zsasz, Jeremiah Arkham, and Amygdala

Batman: Gothic (Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #6-10)

In this story we get to see glimpses of Bruce Wayne childhood.

Batman: Venom (Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #16-20)

This story introduces us to the strength-enhancing drug, venom

Batman: Knightfall (Batman Vol 1 #492-510, #512-515; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #16-30, 32-35; Catwoman Vol ? #6-7, #12-13; Detective Comics Vol 1 #659-677, #679-682; Justice League Task Force #5-6; Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #59-63; Robin #7-9, 11-14; Showcase '93 #7-8; Showcase '94 #10)

The Knightfall collection is a trilogy consisting of Knightfall, Knightquest, and KnightsEnd. In the story, Batman is crippled by Bane leading to him enlisting help from Jean-Paul Valley, while he recovers. Jean-Paul becomes increasingly unstable and violent, ruining Batman's reputation until Bruce can finally put an end to it. The story had long term ramifications in the batcannon as Bruce had to rebuild the trust everyone had for him.

Batman: Contagion (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #48-49; Detective Comics Vol 1 #695, #696; Robin Vol 4 #27-28; Catwoman Vol #31-32; Azrael #15-16; Batman Vol 1 #529; Batman: Chronicles #4)

A cross over even where a deadly virus sweeps through Gotham. One of the story lines leading in to the No Man's Land event.

Batman: Legacy (Batman Vol 1 #533-534; Batman: Bane; Bane of the Demon #1-4; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #53-54; Catwoman Vol 2 #33-36; Detective Comics Vol 1 #700-702; Robin Vol 4 #32-33)

Another crossover, this storyline serves as a wrap up for Contagion as well as Knightfall. One of the story lines leading in to No Man's Land event.

Batman: Cataclysm (Azrael #40; Batman Vol 1 #553-559; The Batman Chronicles #12, #14; Batman: Arkham Asylum- Tales of Madness #1; Batman:Blackgate- Isle of Men #1; Batman/Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma #1; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #73-79; Catwoman Vol 2 #56-57; Detective Comics Vol 1 #719-722, #724-726; Robin Vol 4 #52-54)

The final crossover storyline leading in to No Man's Land. After a earthquake, Gotham's heros have to band together to help the citizens in the aftermath.

Batman: No Man's Land (Azrael #47-61; Batman Vol 1 #560-574; Batman: Harley Quinn; Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #116-126; Batman: No Man's Land #1-0; Batman No Man's Land Secret Files and Origins; Batman: Day of Judgement; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #80-94; The Batman Chronicles #16-18; Catwoman Vol 2 #72-77; Detective Comics Vol 1 #727-741; JLA #32; Nightwing Vol 1 #35-39; Nightwing Secret Files and Origins; Robin Vol 4 #67-73; Young Justice: In No Man's Land)

After several catastrophic events in Gotham, the US government decides to cut off Gotham, destroying all bridges to the city leaving Batman and allies to keep order in the city.

JLA Tower of Babel (JLA #43-46)

This story deals with the discovery of Batman's plans and files on how to take out the members of the Justice League in the event of them going rouge.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer? (Batman: The 10-Cent Adventure #1; Batgirl #24; Batman Vol 1 #599; Batman: Gotham Knights #25-26; Birds of Prey Vol 1 #39-40; Detective Comics Vol 1 #766-767; Nightwing #65-66; Robin #98-99

Bruce Wayne is arrested for murder and the rest of the bat family are forced to solve the crime and help clear his name.

Bruce Wayne: Fugitive (Azrael #91; Batgirl #27, #29-33; Batman Vol 1 #600-601, #603, #605-607; Batman: Gotham Knights #27-28, #30-31; Birds of Prey #41-43; Nightwing #68-69; Detective Comics Vol 1 #768-775)

This story is the follow up to Bruce Wayne: Murderer. After getting out of jail, he must full solve to murder, as those around him begin to doubt his innocence.

Batman Hush (Batman Vol 1 #608-619)

This story arc share a bit about Bruce Wayne's childhood along with introducing a new billion, Hush and furthering Batman and Catwoman's romantic relationship. This story also teases the resurrection of Jason Todd, the second Robin.

Batman: Heart of Hush (Detective Comics #846-850)

A follow up to Batman Hush, once again furthering Batman and Catwoman's romantic relationship. Also serves as a prelude to Batman R. I. P.

Batman Under the Red Hood (Batman Vol 1 #635-#641, #645-650, Annual #25)

This Story focuses on Jason Todd, the second Robin's resurrection and return to Gotham

Batman R. I. P. (Batman Vol 1 #667-669, #672-686, #701-702; Detective Comics #846-853; Nightwing Vol 2 #147-153; Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 #11-14, special #1; Robin #175-183)

This story leads up to Bruce Wayne's apparent death in the DC Final Crisis event.

What Ever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Batman Vol 1 #686; Detective Comics Vol 1 #853

These two issues deal with the aftermath of Bruce Wayne's apparent death.

Battle for the Cowl

This is a 3 issue minis series that shows the remainder of the bat family hold Gotham together in the wake of Batman's death and Nightwing ultimate decision to take up the mantle.

Batman: Hush Money (Detective Comics Vol 1 #852; Batman Vol 1 #685; Batman: Streets of Gotham #1-4)

Batman's enemy Hush alters his face to look like Bruce Wayne and begins pretending to be him.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne

A 6 issue limited series that shows Bruce Wayne's journey through time to return to present day Gotham.

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home

A limited series that details the return and aftermath of Bruce Wayne's return. Batman Vol 1 #703 is a prelude to the series.

Batman: House of Hush (Batman: Streets of Gotham #14, #16-21)

A story arc that ties up the Hush Money story and the return of Bruce Wayne.

Batman Incorporated

This series focuses on Bruce Wayne franchising the Batman name across the globe, while Dick Grayson still serves as Batman in Gotham.

Batman: The Gates of Gotham

A limited series that features Dick Grayson as Batman, but was used as a lunching point for major Batman story lines in New 52.

Batman New 52

After the New 52 reboot, DC began Batman Vol 2, aka Batman New 52

Batman Eternal

A weekly limited series that ran for a year, reintroducing numerous villains in to the New 52 canon, along with Stephanie Brown.

Batman and Robin Eternal

A weekly limited series that ran for 6 months as a follow up to Batman Eternal. The story jumps between Dick Grayson's first year as Robin and the present. Cassandra Cain is reintroduced in to the New 52 canon in this series.

Batman Rebirth (ongoing)

Current Batman title

[filthy-vigilante]

Batman: Where to Start

*** long post***

Getting in to comics is rather hard and finding a good starting place or a good recommended must-reads is hard and confusing and you typically get hundreds of different answers.

This is my personal list, that I'm working through and hope to collect. I've done quite a bit of research and feel like this is a adequate reading list for modern (post-crisis) Bruce Wayne

Anyway, here's my list:

Batman: Year One (Batman Vol 1 #404-#407)

This story line established the back story for Batman in the post-crisis timeline, along with the back stories for Commissioner Gordon and Selina Kyle. Not necessarily canon anymore, but a good story to get the feel of the characters

Batman: The Man Who Laughs

This is a one shot that was published in 2005 that tells the story of Batman’s first encounter with the Joker roughly a year after the Batman’s debut in Gotham. Based on the Joker’s original first appearance in Batman Vol 1 #1.

Batman and the Monster Men

This is a 6 part mini series that takes place sometime after Batman: Year One and Batman: The Man Who Laughs. First half of the Dark Moon Rising series. Story revolves around Batman’s first dealing with Hugo Strange

Batman and the Mad Monk

This is another 6 part mini series that is the second half of the Dark Moon Rising series. It is a retelling of a story from Detective Comics Vol 1 #31-32

Batman: The Long Halloween

This is a 13 part limited series, that serves as a re-introduction of the Calendar Man and features a wide array of Batman’s rouge gallery such as Two-Face, Scarecrow, Riddler, Joker, and Poison Ivy.

Batman: Dark Victory

This is a 14 part limited series that is a sequel to The Long Halloween. The main case in the story is a turf war between Two-Face and the Falcon Mafia. It also serves as a re-telling of Dick Grayson’s Robin origin.

Batman: Birth of the Demon (TPB)

This is a collection of 3 Batman one shots: Son of the Demon, Bride of the Demon, and Birth of the Demon. All stories center around Ra’s al Ghul and Talia al Ghul.

Batman: Strange Apparitions (Detective Comics Vol 1 #469-479)

This collection reintroduces Golden Age villains such as Hugo Strange and Dead shot along with introducing new villains such as Doctor Phosphorus and Clayface III.

Batman: The Killing Joke

A 60 page one shot that hints at the Jokers true identity, along with pushing the Jokers madness to new extremes, and showing just how dangerous he can be.

Batman: the Cult

This is a 4 issue mini series, in which Batman gets captured, torture and brain washed by Deacon Blackfire. This is also one of the few stories written by Jim Starlin that shows Jason Todd in a favorable light, as Starlin had a dislike for the character and kid sidekicks.

Batman: Death in the Family (Batman Vol 1 #426-429)

The famous 4 issue story arc that allowed readers to vote on the fate of the then current Robin, Jason Todd.

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying (Batman Vol 1 #440-442)

This story is the introduction of Tim Drake and his taking of the Robin Mantle. The story also involves a case with Two-Face

Batman: The Last Arkham (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1-4)

This story shows us the inner workings of Arkham Asylum, along with introducing new villains such as Zsasz, Jeremiah Arkham, and Amygdala

Batman: Gothic (Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #6-10)

In this story we get to see glimpses of Bruce Wayne childhood.

Batman: Venom (Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #16-20)

This story introduces us to the strength-enhancing drug, venom

Batman: Knightfall (Batman Vol 1 #492-510, #512-515; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #16-30, 32-35; Catwoman Vol ? #6-7, #12-13; Detective Comics Vol 1 #659-677, #679-682; Justice League Task Force #5-6; Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #59-63; Robin #7-9, 11-14; Showcase ‘93 #7-8; Showcase '94 #10)

The Knightfall collection is a trilogy consisting of Knightfall, Knightquest, and KnightsEnd. In the story, Batman is crippled by Bane leading to him enlisting help from Jean-Paul Valley, while he recovers. Jean-Paul becomes increasingly unstable and violent, ruining Batman’s reputation until Bruce can finally put an end to it. The story had long term ramifications in the batcannon as Bruce had to rebuild the trust everyone had for him.

Batman: Contagion (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #48-49; Detective Comics Vol 1 #695, #696; Robin Vol 4 #27-28; Catwoman Vol #31-32; Azrael #15-16; Batman Vol 1 #529; Batman: Chronicles #4)

A cross over even where a deadly virus sweeps through Gotham. One of the story lines leading in to the No Man’s Land event.

Batman: Legacy (Batman Vol 1 #533-534; Batman: Bane; Bane of the Demon #1-4; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #53-54; Catwoman Vol 2 #33-36; Detective Comics Vol 1 #700-702; Robin Vol 4 #32-33)

Another crossover, this storyline serves as a wrap up for Contagion as well as Knightfall. One of the story lines leading in to No Man’s Land event.

Batman: Cataclysm (Azrael #40; Batman Vol 1 #553-559; The Batman Chronicles #12, #14; Batman: Arkham Asylum- Tales of Madness #1; Batman:Blackgate- Isle of Men #1; Batman/Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma #1; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #73-79; Catwoman Vol 2 #56-57; Detective Comics Vol 1 #719-722, #724-726; Robin Vol 4 #52-54)

The final crossover storyline leading in to No Man’s Land. After a earthquake, Gotham’s heros have to band together to help the citizens in the aftermath.

Batman: No Man’s Land (Azrael #47-61; Batman Vol 1 #560-574; Batman: Harley Quinn; Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #116-126; Batman: No Man’s Land #1-0; Batman No Man’s Land Secret Files and Origins; Batman: Day of Judgement; Batman: Shadow of the Bat #80-94; The Batman Chronicles #16-18; Catwoman Vol 2 #72-77; Detective Comics Vol 1 #727-741; JLA #32; Nightwing Vol 1 #35-39; Nightwing Secret Files and Origins; Robin Vol 4 #67-73; Young Justice: In No Man’s Land)

After several catastrophic events in Gotham, the US government decides to cut off Gotham, destroying all bridges to the city leaving Batman and allies to keep order in the city.

JLA Tower of Babel (JLA #43-46)

This story deals with the discovery of Batman’s plans and files on how to take out the members of the Justice League in the event of them going rouge.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer? (Batman: The 10-Cent Adventure #1; Batgirl #24; Batman Vol 1 #599; Batman: Gotham Knights #25-26; Birds of Prey Vol 1 #39-40; Detective Comics Vol 1 #766-767; Nightwing #65-66; Robin #98-99

Bruce Wayne is arrested for murder and the rest of the bat family are forced to solve the crime and help clear his name.

Bruce Wayne: Fugitive (Azrael #91; Batgirl #27, #29-33; Batman Vol 1 #600-601, #603, #605-607; Batman: Gotham Knights #27-28, #30-31; Birds of Prey #41-43; Nightwing #68-69; Detective Comics Vol 1 #768-775)

This story is the follow up to Bruce Wayne: Murderer. After getting out of jail, he must solve the murder, as those around him begin to doubt his innocence.

Batman Hush (Batman Vol 1 #608-619)

This story arc share a bit about Bruce Wayne’s childhood along with introducing a new billion, Hush and furthering Batman and Catwoman’s romantic relationship. This story also teases the resurrection of Jason Todd, the second Robin.

Batman: Heart of Hush (Detective Comics #846-850)

A follow up to Batman Hush, once again furthering Batman and Catwoman’s romantic relationship. Also serves as a prelude to Batman R. I. P.

Batman Under the Red Hood (Batman Vol 1 #635-#641, #645-650, Annual #25)

This Story focuses on Jason Todd, the second Robin’s resurrection and return to Gotham

Batman R. I. P. (Batman Vol 1 #667-669, #672-686, #701-702; Detective Comics #846-853; Nightwing Vol 2 #147-153; Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 #11-14, special #1; Robin #175-183)

This story leads up to Bruce Wayne’s apparent death in the DC Final Crisis event.

What Ever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Batman Vol 1 #686; Detective Comics Vol 1 #853

These two issues deal with the aftermath of Bruce Wayne’s apparent death.

Battle for the Cowl

This is a 3 issue minis series that shows the remainder of the bat family hold Gotham together in the wake of Batman’s death and Nightwing ultimate decision to take up the mantle.

Batman: Hush Money (Detective Comics Vol 1 #852; Batman Vol 1 #685; Batman: Streets of Gotham #1-4)

Batman’s enemy Hush alters his face to look like Bruce Wayne and begins pretending to be him.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne

A 6 issue limited series that shows Bruce Wayne’s journey through time to return to present day Gotham.

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home

A limited series that details the return and aftermath of Bruce Wayne’s return. Batman Vol 1 #703 is a prelude to the series.

Batman: House of Hush (Batman: Streets of Gotham #14, #16-21)

A story arc that ties up the Hush Money story and the return of Bruce Wayne.

Batman Incorporated

This series focuses on Bruce Wayne franchising the Batman name across the globe, while Dick Grayson still serves as Batman in Gotham.

Batman: The Gates of Gotham

A limited series that features Dick Grayson as Batman, but was used as a lunching point for major Batman story lines in New 52.

Batman New 52

After the New 52 reboot, DC began Batman Vol 2, aka Batman New 52

Batman Eternal

A weekly limited series that ran for a year, reintroducing numerous villains in to the New 52 canon, along with Stephanie Brown.

Batman and Robin Eternal

A weekly limited series that ran for 6 months as a follow up to Batman Eternal. The story jumps between Dick Grayson’s first year as Robin and the present. Cassandra Cain is reintroduced in to the New 52 canon in this series.

Batman Rebirth (ongoing)

Current Batman title

Previously posted on @filthy-vigilantes

[surveysonfleek]

365.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 7

601. Do you have a lust for life? i wouldn’t say so lol. 602. Do you want to get more out of life? experience and memories i guess. 603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism? no. Cure a hangover? i kinda already know this one. Lie persuasively? i don’t lie often, so no. 604. What character from a movie is most like you? i’m blank right now. 605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death? not really.

606. How do you feel about arranged marriages? i understand it’s cultural but it sucks. especially if either parties have experienced love before. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like? olives. 608. What do you like that others seem to hate? surveys lol. 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick? august. 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you? it’s a damn highway. 611. What is your favorite movie? i have a ton. 612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant? probably a merchant. 613. What is your favorite song lyric? i don’t have one. 614. What will you never run out of? love. 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it? no, i’d hate knowing that it’s not genuine. 616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron? no. 617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)? no. 618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? How about the day it was due? yeah but i had already started it beforehand. 619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line? yes, def mean girls lol. 620. What is your favorite season? autumn. 621. Do you mind being described as cute? i don’t mind but why lol. 622. What is the tackiest object in your home? i’m not quite sure...there’s definitely something. 623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards? things that they haven’t experienced. 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person? i guess it depends on the person, if we have similarities i guess i could be interesting. 625. What makes other people interesting to you? just their life stories i guess. 626. How open to suggestion are you? always. it doesn’t mean i’ll follow it though. 627. Is Michael Jackson black or white? black. 628. Are you often lonely? not often. 629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had? a fish? nothing crazy. 630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure? no. 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only? haha shit. heart i think. 632. How imaginative are you? not crazy imaginative. 633. Do you like the Counting Crows? no. 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it? ok. 635. Are you more tense or laid back? i get to both extremes so it’s weird. 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does? it can be both. 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers? haha kinda weird. why fashion? maybe as a normal magazine format. 638. How often do you drink to get drunk? about once a month. sometimes less. 639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic? yes. 640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life? not at all. 641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? no. 642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home? two weeks ago. 643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true? i don’t agree. 644. What is the most interesting TV channel? discovery channel. 645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again: that watch me whip watch me nae nae song lol. 646. Do your pets understand you when you talk? probably not. maybe just my body language. 647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people? i’m an open book so i don’t think i could really surprise anyone that knows me. 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer? no. 649. Have you been to a museum this year? yes. 650. Do you ever watch porn? i have before but i don’t regularly. 651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote? umm idk. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you? idk. it depends how informed i was. 653. Do people often give you weird looks? not that i notice or care. 654. Do like Japanese cooking? yes, one of my faves. 655. Do you care for stray animals? no. 656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas A Garfield Halloween The Secret of Nimh The Last Unicorn The original Lord of the Rings cartoons lmao none. 657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)? nah. i mean i can use my left hand for stuff but it’s not perfect. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate? if i know them i’ll say it. 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go? a secluded beach house somewhere. 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down As the Wind Blows Grave of the Fireflies How the Grinch Stole Christmas Spirited Away i’ve seen two but don’t remember them. 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral? let’s be real, male are still dominant. i hop this changes in my lifetime. 662. What words offend you? i hate when people say the n-word, especially if they’re not entitled too. it’s so cringey and embarassing. 663. They’re just words. Can you get over it? nope. 664. Have you ever looked into different religions? i’ve learnt about them i guess. 665. Which ones have you looked into? all. 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion? idk. i don’t know much about that one. 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle? rows. 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards? nope. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones? i don’t watch star wars. 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound? no idea. 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards? i didn’t watch it. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards? - 673. What is your favorite zombie movie? - 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater all of them are pretty cool tbh. 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid? i had some at home with a jumping castle, mcdonalds, parks etc. 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert house party or restaurant. 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like? everyone has either movies, house parties or restaurant birthdays lol. 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party club. 679. If you are 18 what was your party like? i went clubbing. 680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip a vegas trip would’ve been amazing. 681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards? sorta but i didn’t look into it. 682. What are your top 3 priorities? being happy, finding a new job and losing weight. 683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards? i haven’t seen it. 684. What is your favorite smell? way too many to name. 685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling 3 Rape jokes 6 Sarcastic comments 3 Blonde jokes 5 Dirty jokes 2 God/religion jokes 5 Long-ass jokes 4 Death jokes 5 Pain/sickness jokes 5 Animals doing cute stuff 3 Bodily functions 3 Knock jokes 5 Ethnic jokes 5 Puns 2 Ironic situations 2 685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards? no, i was a kid. 686. Do you get at least three hugs per day? it depends who i’m hanging out with. 687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side? no talking shit about my family or friends pretty much. 688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards? never seen it. 689. Do movies have a great influence on you? sometimes. they have to be good lol. 690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show? yes, a couple. 691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want? sometimes it depends who your family is. at the end of the day everyone should be able to do whatever they want. 692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie? haven’t seen either. 693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it? i’ve tried that as a kid but it didn’t work. 694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect? noooo that’s so mean. 695. What would you think of a guy (if you're into guys) or a girl (if you're into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date? i’d be down, why not lol. 696. Do you use public pools? i haven’t been to one in years. 697. Do you use public bathrooms? if i’m desperate. 698. Do you use public showers? no. 699. How old will you be in 17 years? 43. 700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years? as the time came closer, yeah.

[surveystodestressme]

46.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 7

601. Do you have a lust for life? i dunno, i guess??? 602. Do you want to get more out of life? i mean, kind of 603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism? nope Cure a hangover? i already know this Lie persuasively?i try not to lie as often as i can 604. What character from a movie is most like you? i’m not sure 605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death? not at all

606. How do you feel about arranged marriages? i think they’re ridiculous, honestly.  and a lot of the time it’s an older man and a really young woman, or sometimes a little girl and that’s sickening to me. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like? channing tatum 608. What do you like that others seem to hate? peeps 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick? June 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you? meadow 611. What is your favorite movie? the saw movies 612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant? a warrior 613. What is your favorite song lyric? i don’t have one. 614. What will you never run out of? hopefully happiness 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it? absolutely not.  i want the love to be reciprocated bc it’s true not forced 616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron? never heard of it 617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)? nope 618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? How about the day it was due? yeah 619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line? absolutely 620. What is your favorite season? winter 621. Do you mind being described as cute? i don’t mind at all 622. What is the tackiest object in your home? oh, there’s plenty 623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards? a lot of things. 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person? i don’t know, people think i’m pretty funny and i guess that’s interesting??? 625. What makes other people interesting to you? anything, really.  something that they do that’s extraordinary 626. How open to suggestion are you? always open to suggestion 627. Is Michael Jackson black or white? he’s black 628. Are you often lonely? nope 629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had? i’ve had a snake but i don’t feel like that’s an unusual pet to have 630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure? hell no 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only? with my head 632. How imaginative are you? pretty imaginative i’d say 633. Do you like the Counting Crows? i don’t even know what that is 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it? i stole this from someone else 635. Are you more tense or laid back? i’m a little of both, actually. 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does? it depends on some people around but i try to mostly base it on myself 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers? i don’t care man, i won’t read it though

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? not very often at all 639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic? nope 640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life? not really, honestly. 641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? i’ve heard of it 642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home? it’s been a couple weeks 643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true? absolutely not 644. What is the most interesting TV channel? discovery or animal planet or history channel 645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again: call me maybe 646. Do your pets understand you when you talk? i think maybe a little bit 647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people? there’s a lot i’m sure 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer? i don’t remember if i have or not 649. Have you been to a museum this year? yeah a couple weeks ago 650. Do you ever watch porn? i do on occasion 651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote? i don’t care either way honestly 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you? no, i wouldn’t.  i was in the national guard for a while and i didn’t enjoy it very much 653. Do people often give you weird looks? i don’t really pay attention 654. Do like Japanese cooking? yeah 655. Do you care for stray animals? i feel bad for them and wish i could give them a safe pace to live 656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas: i liked it when i was a kid A Garfield Halloween: i haven’t seen it The Secret of Nimh: haven’t seen it The Last Unicorn: ^^ The original Lord of the Rings cartoons ^^ 657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)? no, my left hand is useless 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate? not usually 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go? to the spookiest haunted house around 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down As the Wind Blows Grave of the Fireflies How the Grinch Stole Christmas: love love love this movie Spirited Away 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral? idk 662. What words offend you? not many at all 663. They’re just words. Can you get over it? yeah 664. Have you ever looked into different religions? i had to do a project on a religion.  i picked satanism and it was quite interesting 665. Which ones have you looked into? ^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion? i mean, i know to classify as a religion there has to be a certain amount of people following it right? i guess it can be a religion.  i don’t care either way.  i think it;s interesting regardless 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle? i don’t care either way 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards? nope 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones? i like the older ones 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound? no 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards? never seen it 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards? didn’t see it 673. What is your favorite zombie movie? shaun of the dead 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater anything really 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid? they were pretty fun from what i recall 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert in my teenage years i would’ve wanted to go bowling or something like that 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like? i didn’t have any by the time i was in high school 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party college party, ig 679. If you are 18 what was your party like? didn’t really party for my 18th 680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip las vegas would’ve been cool 681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards? never saw it 682. What are your top 3 priorities? being happy, getting my dream job, making sure jack is happy 683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards? nah 684. What is your favorite smell? i have a lot 685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling 4 Rape jokes 6 Sarcastic comments 3 Blonde jokes 4 Dirty jokes 1 God/religion jokes 2 Long-ass jokes 5 Death jokes 2 Pain/sickness jokes 3 Animals doing cute stuff 2 Bodily functions 4 Knock jokes 2 Ethnic jokes 3 Puns 1 Ironic situations 1 685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards? never seen it 686. Do you get at least three hugs per day? probably 687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side? a cunt? idk 688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards? never seen it 689. Do movies have a great influence on you? i think so, sometimes i guess? 690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show? are you the one 691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want? i mean, i feel like some people are pressured 692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie? i’ve never seen the original 693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it? nope 694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect? i once put a butterfly in a jar and that’s it 695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date? i think that would be adorable 696. Do you use public pools? i haven’t in a while, but i would 697. Do you use public bathrooms? yeah 698. Do you use public showers? helllll no 699. How old will you be in 17 years? 38 700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years? that would suck

[sassysnowperson]

That last prompt was amazing!!! If you're still accepting prompts, could you do "... I just found out you're gay/bi/pan..." With Baze and Chirrut?? 😃

So this is from a while ago, so thanks for letting me save it for when I wanted another break from long-form stuff! (Though, this is still fairly long. There’s a readmore, of course)

Read it on Ao3

“What are we?” Chirut asked his class.

“Smart and strong!” the nine children answered.

“What else are we?”

“Safe and Healthy!”

“Aaaaand?”

There was an intake of breath and a moment of silence, before nine children bellowed as loud as they could, “POWERFUUUUUUUUUUULLLL!”

“Yes we are! Very good work everyone, I’ll see you next week.” Chirrut bowed to the class, heard the rustle of the clothes as they bowed back. Then the class dissolved into chatter as they moved towards the small gate that separated the sparring space from the observation area.

Chirrut made his way over to the half-wall separating the room to where he heard a man, slightly larger than him, clear his throat. He moved through the sounds of the space toward the familiar creosote cologne. “Ben! Good to see you.”

Chirrut flashed a grin he had heard described as “shit-eating” in Ben’s direction.

Ben gave the obligatory groan. “Good to see you too.”

“I’m glad you were able to come by. Luke’s doing beautifully.” Chirrut tilted his head over to where he heard Luke chattering, excited, with Jyn and Bodhi.

“Yes, yes, you were right. It’s good to see him happy. And making friends. I still wince every time he spars, though.”

“He lost a hand, Ben, he didn’t become an invalid. When you have a disability the whole world tells you you’ve lost something irreplaceable, and now you’re helpless. Sparring helps him feel strong again. Besides, did you see the way he broke through Bodhi’s defense? He’s a top-rate fighter, one arm or two.”

“You don’t need to lecture me, I know.” Ben sighed. “I know. But you’ll have to excuse me if it doesn’t feel just a little unusual to cheer for a one-armed child fighting another child in a wheelchair. It’s a bit of a paradigm shift.”

Chirrut chuckled, “Taught by a blind teacher and cheered on by their deaf best friend. It’s the entire point of what I’m trying to do here, Ben.”

“And I’m grateful we met and I had the chance to find out about it.” Ben’s patted the top of Chirrut’s forearm.

Chirrut brought his other hand over and covered Ben’s hand. “Speaking of how we met...you know, Ben, if Luke is at his aunt and uncle’s tonight…” Chirrut pitched his voice low, subtly running his thumb over Ben’s knuckles and leaning closer.

Ben made a disapproving noise and pulled his hand back. Even quieter than Chirrut, he responded, “I told you, I’m not sleeping with you while you’re teaching Luke. That’s just a disaster waiting to happen.”

“That’s your rule. I never agreed to it.” Chirrut grinned up at Ben, but nevertheless leaned out of his heat.

“Besides, Chirrut, you are a very good lay—”

“You know it.”

“—But I’m ready to settle. And as much fun as we’ve had, I’m never going to be the one who gets you to settle down.”

Chirrut smoothed his face out to an impassive slate. “It is important to reasonably assess your abilities and know what is or isn’t safe for you to do,” he intoned

“That sounds like something you tell your kids.”

Chirrut felt cheer crinkling at the corners of his eyes again. “It is.”

“Don’t take it as a slight. You’re far from my worst partner. That would be the one that got himself locked up and left me with shared custody of his child.”

“Ben, you have had the shittiest luck with men.”

“Tell me about it. Well. I did alright with you. You’re just in love with your straight roommate. Not nearly so bad by comparison.”

Chirrut thought he did a fairly good job hiding his recoil as he tried very hard not to think about Baze. He opened his mouth to brush off the comment but before he could clumsy footsteps ran over and a bright voice started saying, “Uncle Ben! Mr. Erso says that he works in a science lab and if we want to we can tour it! Can we go?”

Chirrut gave a small wave as Ben was pulled away, and started setting up the room for his six o’clock class.

Chirrut let out a filthy moan as he entered the apartment and the scent of ginger and scallions and lemongrass filled his nose. He made his way over to the kitchen where the aroma originated, something sizzling in a wok, low base notes of Baze’s humming underpinning the scene.

He walked over to where Baze was cooking, reaching out with a hand and brushing Baze’s elbow, using that as a guide to pull himself in and up on his toes, resting his chin on Baze’s shoulder. “Smells amazing. You spoil me.”

Chirrut felt the grunt vibrate in Baze’s chest. “Who says it’s for you? Get your own food.”

“You’re making enough for two.” Chirrut reached from behind to get at the pan only to have Baze swat his hand out of the way.

“Go set the table.” Baze grumbled, which was as good as an admission. “No, wait, go shower. You reek.”

“Good to see you too.” Chirrut snapped back, going off to the bathroom regardless.

As he soaped up under the spray Chirrut did not think about Baze’s broad back and strong arms and the way he perpetually smelled like machine oil mixed with something sharp and fresh and green. He had been friends with Baze since before he could remember, lived with him as soon as the both of them had enough money to get a place of their own.

Much of their relationship worked because Chirrut didn’t think about Baze. Baze, who cooked and cleaned and didn’t leave things in the walkways and belly laughed at Chirrut’s dumb jokes. Baze, who was kind and supportive and knew the names of every one of Chirrut’s kids. Baze, who had been the standard that every guy in Chirrut’s life had failed to live up to. Who was, tragically, very, very straight.

Chirrut got out of the shower, not thinking about Baze. He slipped into the most comfortable pajamas he had and went out and ate dinner with his best friend.

Baze was upstate for some union meeting, and Chirrut had been left to his own devices. Chirrut always felt like he spun out a little whenever Baze was out of town on a business trip. Baze kept him grounded, kept him making healthier decisions. Chirrut picked up a box of takeout food and a young man; he enjoyed both to a degree of excess he wouldn’t have if Baze were in the apartment.

Sending the night’s distraction on his way with an affectionate kiss, Chirrut opened a bottle of wine and settled in for a some lazy listening to the local news.

“We’re here with the head of the Local Sheet Metal Worker’s 601, Baze Malbus. Baze, we understand your union is preparing to march with protesters to put pressure on congress to support legislation banning employment discrimination for LGBTQ workers.”

Chirrut quickly set down the wine and leaned toward the television. Baze hadn’t told him this was a LGBTQ protest. He should have invited Chirrut—Baze’s gay best friend—along. Chirrut would have happily worn his hotpants. Reliable witnesses informed him he was very attention-getting in them.

Baze’s familiar deep voice responded, using a tone Chirrut thought of as his I’m-Still-Not-Sure-How-I-Ended-Up-In-A-Leadership-Position-But-I’m-Doing-My-Best tone of voice. “We’re pleased to join with the long history of labor unions pushing for LGBTQ rights. People shouldn’t be able to be fired for who they choose to love, and the Local Sheet Metal Worker’s 601 is proud to support that.”

Chirrut felt a happy warmth rise in his chest. Baze was non-political by nature, but when he committed, he committed deeply.

The interviewer gave a little chuckle, “It’s not a matter that has much professional relevance to you, though. I can’t imagine too many gay men go into metal-working.”

Baze was quiet for a moment. Chirrut leaned in more, grinning. Baze was going to tear this reporter to shreds.

“You have made a number of assumptions that I find deeply ignorant. First, neither our union nor our profession are exclusive to men, we have a number of passionate active woman and your statement disregards them.”

The reporter made to pull the microphone away.

“I have not finished. Second, the fight for employment equality is important regardless of whether or not someone personally knows someone who is affected.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to insinuate—”

“And lastly, I can’t speak for any of my peers, but this legislation does impact me personally, as well as professionally. Though, I prefer the label bisexual. Good day.”

Chirrut stared at the television for a good five minutes before he became aware the interview had moved on. He turned off the television with an angry jab, stood up and began pacing about the apartment, trying to think.

On one hand, Baze was fighting for a cause he believed in and shutting down reporters who made bigoted assumptions. Chirrut pivoted and started walking the other way. On the other hand if Baze Malbus was at all attracted to men, Chirrut would be the one to know.

Baze had lied. On television. Why? To make a point?

But it didn’t sound like Baze had been lying. Chirrut was no magical blind human lie detector but he knew his best friend. Chirrut kicked out into the open air, frustrated and confused. He knew his best friend, and his best friend was straight. From age five, when the two of them had met in Taekwondo class, Baze had only ever had been with women. Had only ever been with three women, as a matter of fact. Two of those relationships lasted years. Chirrut would have known if a guy had caught Baze’s eye. Chirrut would have known if he could have ever had a chance.

And that’s what hurt the worst. Chirrut had loved Baze since he was five years old and the Baze had taken him at his word and punched him as hard as he could, not going easy on Chirrut just because he was blind. Had loved him from a distance, because Baze had never once shown a smidgen of interest. So Baze, whether his little ‘Bisexual’ comment was true or false, had made a mockery of everything Chirrut had felt for him.

Chirrut had almost two days to figure out what to say to Baze, when Baze got back home. He had crafted and disregarded what felt like thousands of scripts, ranging from silly to serious to furious. In the end, words weren’t Chirrut’s strong suite. Action was.

As he heard the front door open and close and the Baze’s heavy footfalls through the room he almost reconsidered his course of action.

Baze paused, his movement after that was softer, bare feet, not in boots. The creak of the kitchen floorboard, liquid filling into a mug.

No, too late to reconsider. There was no graceful way out of this, after all. Besides, it should answer some questions.

Baze’s steps carried him over to his bedroom door.

Chirrut arranged himself, naked as the day he was born, a little more provocatively across Baze’s bed, propped up on one arm, grinning at the door.

He didn’t admit that the grin was mostly to hide the nerves.

The door opened, and Baze didn’t seem to notice anything for a long few seconds. He tossed his keys on the dresser, took a sip from the mug...and then promptly started coughing. Chirrut felt some small beads of liquid hit him.

“Chirrut! What the hell are you doing?”

“Welcoming you home! I saw your interview. Heard you would appreciate the view.”

Baze groaned. “Of course you would catch that.”

Chirrut wiggled. “So...what do you think?”

Baze took a slow breath in from his nose, and exhaled in a heavy huff. “I think you’re being ridiculous. Put some clothes on.”

Chirrut shoved himself up to sitting. “So it was a lie, then!”

“It wasn’t a lie!” Baze snapped. “Just because I am attracted to men doesn’t mean I want you naked on my bed!”

“I’m your best friend, Baze! How did I not know this?” Chirrut stood up from the bed.

“Maybe because I knew you’d turn everything into a come-on! I don’t want that.” Chirrut heard the sound of Baze setting the mug down, a clatter as hit hard onto the dresser.

“I thought you were better than that sort of stereotyping.” Chirrut stalked toward Baze.

“For the love of—It’s not a stereotype! I just know you! You flirt as naturally as breathing and I can barely handle it now, if it got worse I would—”

“You would what!” Chirrut landed in front of Baze and poked hard at his chest. “Because if the answer is anything other than, ‘Politely ask you to stop making me uncomfortable and watch as I respect your boundaries,’ you aren’t the man I thought you were.”

“Well then I’m not,” Baze’s huge hands landed on Chirrut’s hips, holding him in place. Baze’s voice went low and rough, “because the answer is I would take you to bed and spend the rest of my life regretting it.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a very good lay.” Chirrut said, mostly on instinct, as Baze’s thumbs, running slowly over his hipbones had knocked out all of his higher processing.

“I’m sure the sex would be fine.” Baze sounded sad. “But it might kill me to be one in your stable of lovers. I’d spend the rest of my life hating every other person you bedded. And I know that’s selfish, which is why I have very carefully been avoiding the topic. So please,” Baze took his hands off Chirrut and stepped back, “put some clothes on.”

“You want me.” Chirrut was frozen, turning the idea over in his head. “How long?”

Baze’s hand thudded against his forehead. “That’s what you get out of this? I—fine. Ages. The first…” Baze swallowed, voice sticking in his throat. “...the first time I saw you teach. You were so patient with the kids, so bright, so clearly doing exactly what you loved. You were beautiful. Still are. That’s not the issue.”

“Seriously? I’ve rubbed up against you while skinny-dipping and that wasn’t enough? I had to teach a class of seven-year-olds?”

“It’s always been emotional, for me. No attraction without the emotion first. Chirrut, you come alive while teaching. It was watching you teach that I knew who you were enough to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Chirrut groaned. “And then we went out to a bar to celebrate the opening of the studio and I took that redhead home.”

Baze shifted back and forth. “Yeah.”

“You’ve never had a problem with my lovers. You made them breakfast.”

Baze sighed, “You’re happy. It’s what you wanted. And as long as I could tell myself that I was the one you stayed with, that was enough for me. It still is enough for me. So, you’re going to get out of my room, put some clothes on, and we’re both going to pretend this didn’t happen.”

“I can’t do that.”

Baze walked over to the bed and sat down hard on it, springs squeaking. His fingers slid into his hair as he rested his head in his hands. “Fuck. I can’t lose you.”

Chirrut walked over and put his hands on the top of Baze’s head, a sort-of benediction. “And I refuse to lose you, too. So, you want to sleep with me, but you don’t want me to sleep with anyone else.”

Baze gave a broken laugh. “Yeah, that’s about the sum of it.”

“Alright, I won’t.”

Chirrut’s fingers slid as Baze looked up, his hands settling again on either side of Baze’s face. Chirrut had no doubt that Baze was scouring his face, looking for more clues.

Chirrut just hoped that Baze knew his sincerity as well as he knew Baze’s. “Commitment, right? Exclusivity? It’s yours.”

“You have never offered that to anyone,” Baze said, careful.

“None of them were you,” Chirrut said, plain.

He felt the shudder go through Baze. Baze’s hands settled around the backs of Chirrut’s legs. Chirrut traced his fingers along Baze’s cheekbone.

“Baze, I’ve loved you since I was five years old. You’ve been the standard none of my lovers could meet. I fall in love with the pieces of you I find in other people.”

Baze tipped his head forward, resting his forehead against Chirrut’s belly. “God.”

“No, just Chirrut.”

After a second Baze’s shoulders convulsed. “You’re terrible. I love you too.”

Chirrut’s long experience with martial arts let him know that the sensation he was feeling now was not-at-all unlike being punched in the stomach.

He felt Baze’s head tip back again. “Are you sure?” Baze asked.

“As I’ve ever been,” Chirrut answered.

“Well then.” Baze’s hands tightened around the backs of Chirrut’s legs and he stood up, lifting Chirrut effortlessly before tossing him down on the bed. Baze pinned him to the bed with a knee, rustle of cloth before Baze’s shirt settled next to Chirrut. “I’ve got a naked man on my bed. Guess I should figure out what to do with that.”

Chirrut grinned up in pure delight. “I have some ideas.”

[surveyjunkie]

i wish the tide would take me over

The 5000 question survey part 7

601. Do you have a lust for life?

Not at the moment, no. 602. Do you want to get more out of life?

Of course. I just don’t have the means at the moment.  603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism?

I’ve considered it. 

Cure a hangover?

It’s not really that hard to cure or prevent a hangover. Just take a multivitamin with a glass of water. Or drink pickle juice. 

Lie persuasively?

I already know how to do that. << 604. What character from a movie is most like you?

Kristen Wiig’s character from Bridesmaids.  605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death?

No, is anyone? 606. How do you feel about arranged marriages?

They’re fucked up. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like?

Diet Coke or IPAs  608. What do you like that others seem to hate?

Sour beer 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick?

April 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you?

Highway

611. What is your favorite movie?

Silver linings playbook.  612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant?

I’d chose to be an oracle, I think. <<  613. What is your favorite song lyric?

I don’t have just one, that’s too hard. 614. What will you never run out of?

"I forgive you”s 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it?

I already have who I want.  616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron?

Long long ago.  617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)?

Long long ago. 

618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? Yup…

How about the day it was due?

Yes.  619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line?

Maybe Mean Girls, or Coming to America.  620. What is your favorite season?

Late spring/early summer 621. Do you mind being described as cute?

No. 622. What is the tackiest object in your home?

I’m not sure.  623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards?

Mental health 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person?

Other than my background, I don’t really think anything about me is interesting.  625. What makes other people interesting to you?

I feel like that’s a loaded question. I’m usually always the most interested in people who don’t talk very much because they come off as mysterious, but I also think a person’s personal experiences or views on life make them interesting too. 

626. How open to suggestion are you?

Fairly open

627. Is Michael Jackson black or white?

Black.  628. Are you often lonely?

Just when I’m at work. These surveys are a personal escape from the bleakness that surrounds me when I’m here.  629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had?

Bearded dragon, but they’re not considered unusual anymore.  630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure?

I don’t think so 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only?

Head only 632. How imaginative are you?

Fairly 633. Do you like the Counting Crows?

They’re okay 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it?

I did not. 635. Are you more tense or laid back?

A weird combination of both 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does?

Somewhere in between? I think it definitely depends on my loved ones but I also know I need to create my own 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers?

LOL. 

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? Once or twice a week

639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic?

Too diplomatic sometimes. 

640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life?

I majored in psychology, so yes. 

641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi?

No, I’m too young. I’ve heard of it though. 

642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home?

Whenever I was last at Josh’s. 

643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true?

It’s somewhat true. If you ask a question it means you are seeking knowledge rather than claiming you know something.  644. What is the most interesting TV channel?

I haven’t had cable in a couple of years now, but I thought TLC always had some pretty interesting/wacky shows. 

645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again:

Probably every single twenty one pilots song. (sorry)

646. Do your pets understand you when you talk?

Kind of, yeah. I think they know when I’m talking about them.  647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people?

I’ve never surfed, been to overnight camp, or gotten my tonsils removed 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Kind of...more like a stalker I suppose.  649. Have you been to a museum this year?

No

650. Do you ever watch porn?

I used to on occasion.  651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote?

No. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you?

I wouldn’t be allowed in the army for various health reasons, so it doesn’t matter. That’s part of why I don’t think it would be a fair requirement.  653. Do people often give you weird looks?

No 654. Do like Japanese cooking?

Yes.  655. Do you care for stray animals?

Whenever I can, I try to. I’ll put out food for stray cats if they’re wandering around the neighborhood.  656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Garfield Halloween, The Secret of Nimh, The Last Unicorn, The original Lord of the Rings cartoons

I’ve only seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I thought it was okay. I’m not big into Peanuts. 

657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)?

Nope, I’m right handed. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate?

Not always, but most of the time.  659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go?

America, probably. I feel like Halloween in the US is intense. I’d love to go to one of those really fancy haunted houses. Don’t Universal have one each year? << Yes, we are super into Halloween here, it’s one of the few things about the states that I love! You can find crazy haunted houses just about anywhere.  660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down, As the Wind Blows, Grave of the Fireflies, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Spirited Away

How The Grinch Stole Christmas was missing something to it, but it was entertaining. And Spirited Away was fucking amazing.  661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral?

Male dominated.  662. What words offend you?

Words don’t really offend me, actions do.

663. They’re just words. Can you get over it?

I said they didn’t bother me :)  664. Have you ever looked into different religions?

Buddhism and Judaism  665. Which ones have you looked into?

^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion?

A lot of them are more chill than some Christians are...but I don’t really agree with them.  667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle?

It depends on the class.  668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards?

I have not. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones?

Old 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound?

No, I don’t believe so. But I could be wrong.  671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards?

Haven’t seen it. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards?

Haven’t seen that either. 673. What is your favorite zombie movie?

21 Days Later! 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater

Roller rink and sleep over 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid?

Small outdoor parties. Sometimes by the pool.  676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert

House party or catered.  677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like?

Mine were always just dinner and a movie, but my wealthier friends would have big Sweet 16′s at like venues with catered food and DJ’s.  678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party

College party. Because college was so cool to me as a high schooler hah. 

679. If you are 18 what was your party like?

We went to Benihana’s and then the hookah bar

680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip

Las Vegas trip sounds pretty lit. <<<

681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards?

Haven’t seen it.

682. What are your top 3 priorities?

Mental health, relationships, school/work. << 

683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards?

No

684. What is your favorite smell?

Coconut

685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling

2

Rape jokes

6

Sarcastic comments

2

Blonde jokes

5

Dirty jokes

2

God/religion jokes

3

Long-ass jokes

3

Death jokes

3

Pain/sickness jokes 5

Animals doing cute stuff

1

Bodily functions

3

Knock jokes

5

Ethnic jokes

3

Puns

2

Ironic situations

1

685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards?

No.

686. Do you get at least three hugs per day?

From the same person, yes.

687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side?

A cunt or a bitch? Lol 

688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards?

I haven’t seen trainspotting

689. Do movies have a great influence on you?

Sometimes

690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show?

Not anymore, I used to love reality TV back when I had cable though. 

691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want?

There are definitely roles in order to feel “accepted” or “normal”. It’s all bullshit. 

692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie?

I don’t think I’ve seen either

693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it?

Nope, that’s kind of a creepy thing to do.

694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect?

^

695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date?

I mean, sure. 

696. Do you use public pools?

Yeah, but I prefer not to.

697. Do you use public bathrooms?

Yup.

698. Do you use public showers?

Yup.

699. How old will you be in 17 years?

41 years old 0_o

700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years?

Yeah, that would suck

[hauntedbananagarden]

Got distracted...here’s 601-700.

601. Do you have a lust for life? Yes

602. Do you want to get more out of life? Yes 603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism? I don’t know enough to answer that! Cure a hangover? Absolutely, they get worse as I get older.  Lie persuasively? Yeah, but only if I really really needed to. 604. What character from a movie is most like you? I have no idea 605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death? I used to be, now I try to focus on the present as I don’t want to miss any more time thinking about the impending doom of it all. 606. How do you feel about arranged marriages? Nope 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like? Lettuce 608. What do you like that others seem to hate? I’m not sure 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick? August 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you? A Meadow 611. What is your favorite movie? Back to the Future 612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant? An alchemist 613. What is your favorite song lyric? ‘Look at the stars, I’ll kiss you again, Between the bars.’ Elliott Smith 614. What will you never run out of? Hopefully memories 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it? No 616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron? I have not 617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)? Nope 618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? Of course How about the day it was due? Yes 619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line? Clueless, Mean Girls, The First Time, so yeah anything teenage and cheesy apparently 620. What is your favorite season? Autumn 621. Do you mind being described as cute? Nope 622. What is the tackiest object in your home? My pocket watch with a picture of Pope John Paul II inside 623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards? Each other 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person? Everything 625. What makes other people interesting to you? Everything 626. How open to suggestion are you? Fairly 627. Is Michael Jackson black or white? According to him it doesn’t matter so... 628. Are you often lonely? I do get lonely sometimes 629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had? A gecko 630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure? I don’t think so

631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only? My heart, more painful but more honest 632. How imaginative are you? Extremely! 633. Do you like the Counting Crows? It’s been a while but yeah 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it?...No as I didn’t know that was a thing 635. Are you more tense or laid back? Laid back

636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does? I’m fairly happy in myself 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers? That’s just bizarre 638. How often do you drink to get drunk? I don’t 639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic? Yes 640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life? Not really, no 641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? No 642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home? Last night 643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true? Yes 644. What is the most interesting TV channel? Youtube 645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again: Smashmouth All Star 646. Do your pets understand you when you talk? Of course 647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people? I haven’t watched the sopranos, haven’t seen parasite, grew up by the beach but never surfed 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I did they are still a secret 649. Have you been to a museum this year? No, they’re all closed 650. Do you ever watch porn? Nope 651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote? No 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you? Yes 653. Do people often give you weird looks? I don’t think so 654. Do like Japanese cooking? Yes 655. Do you care for stray animals? Of course 656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas A Garfield Halloween The Secret of Nimh The Last Unicorn The original Lord of the Rings cartoons I haven’t seen any of these 657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)? Absolutely not 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate? Hesitate 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go? New York 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down As the Wind Blows Grave of the Fireflies How the Grinch Stole Christmas Spirited Away - Just this one, amazing! 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral? Male 662. What words offend you? Slurs 663. They’re just words. Can you get over it? No, if they mean nothing then use a different word 664. Have you ever looked into different religions? Not really 665. Which ones have you looked into? Read about Jainism through a google deep dive, but never actively looked into anything 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion? I don’t know anything about it so can’t give an opinion 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle? Depends on the subject 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards? No 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones? Okay there have been a whole lot more since this question was written, but out of the first five you’re on about definitely the three old ones 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound? Yes 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards? I don’t think I’ve seen it 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards? Never seen it 673. What is your favorite zombie movie? Zombieland

674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater Movie theatre 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid? Loads of pass the parcel 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert Sleep overs 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like? Sleepovers 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party Concert 679. If you are 18 what was your party like? Concert 680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip House party 681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards? Not really 682. What are your top 3 priorities? Right now, not getting coronavirus, staying indoors, minding my mental health as a result of not being outside 683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards? Absolutely not 684. What is your favorite smell? Either brownies baking or garlic being fried 685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling 5 Rape jokes 6 Sarcastic comments 3 Blonde jokes 5 Dirty jokes 5 God/religion jokes 5 Long-ass jokes 3 Death jokes 5 Pain/sickness jokes 5 Animals doing cute stuff 1 Bodily functions 5 Knock jokes 3 Ethnic jokes 5 Puns2 Ironic situations 2 685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards? No 686. Do you get at least three hugs per day? No 687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side? Just be respectful 688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards? No! 689. Do movies have a great influence on you? I think the great one’s should 690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show? Say Yes to the Dress - every time a bride/someone in the family talks about the wedding being the most important day of their life/been dreaming about wedding dresses since they were a kid, me and my mum laugh 691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want? No there is definitely pressure 692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie? Well nothing compares to Shawn of the Dead so... 693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it? No and I could never understand why someone would 694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect? No that is so cruel 695. What would you think of a guy (if you're into guys) or a girl (if you're into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date? Best date ever 696. Do you use public pools? No but I would 697. Do you use public bathrooms? Yes 698. Do you use public showers? No 699. How old will you be in 17 years? 48 700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years? I’d like to think so

[sheenaatbct]

Game and Play Design Project

Genre Study: Vaporwave

Give an overview of the genre’s origins, form, and thematic content.

Vaporwave is a genre which originates from the internet and is said to be the first music genre to be completely globalised (Glitsos, 2018). Its origins begin in early 2010, the artists credited for birthing the genre are Chuck Person and James Ferraro. Most notably, Macintosh Plus and Blank Banshee are artists whose albums are considered to be the perfect representation of the genre (Hans, Peters, 2016). While starting out as a joke and thought of as an internet meme by most, the genre has gathered a large audience who discuss the meanings of the music and share their own creations.

The genre generally consists of borrowed samples of 80’s and 90’s style music, smooth jazz, and retro elevator music, which have been slowed down and spliced apart. The style is quite slow and repetitive, creating a stretched out and “melting” effect (Glitsos, 2018). The visual aspect takes on inspiration from early digital graphic design and Japanese culture, playing with nostalgia (wosX -, 2015).

What sets aside Vaporwave as a genre is the community which has formed around it. The artists are almost entirely anonymous, and the separation between the audience and producers is weak (Born, Haworth, 2017).

What are some examples of the genre, or prominent artists?

Macintosh Plus, with their album Floral Shoppe, and Blank Banshee with their album Blank Banshee 0 are considered to be the epitome of the Vaporwave genre. These artists were big during the first wave of the genre (Han, Peters, 2016). However, Hong Kong Express (HKE) is said to have revolutionised the genre by creating an original piece (not from sampling existing sounds), inspired by 80s Japanese culture. HKE went on to collaborate with Telepath テレパシー能力者, to create their project, 2814, which gave the genre a new life (wosX -, 2015).

What are the technical/mechanical ‘markers’?

Early examples of Vaporwave include:

·        Samples of elevator music, smooth jazz, and 80’s music which has been slowed down and spliced up

·        Has a slow bpm, usually between 60 – 90

·        Is short and repetitive, looping a small sample over and over

·        Heavy reverb

·        Uses vocal samples which have also been slowed down and stretched out

·        Visually inspired by 80s and 90s graphic design, media, and Japanese culture

However, more recent examples also show use of original content, following a similar set of technical markers.

What emotional and sensory experience does the genre invoke?

The aesthetic of the genre tends to invoke feelings of nostalgia within its audience. Generally, tracks are soothing and calm, however there are a few examples which are unsettling and uncomfortable to listen to.

Some artists also tell narratives through their tracks and can invoke different emotions through them (wosX -, 2015).  

Why do people engage with this genre? What is it good at?

Due to this genre originating from the internet, it is quite community based. The general anonymity of the genre blurs the line between the audience and artists, making it easier for people to engage with the genre, to discuss the meanings of songs or to create their own songs (Born, Haworth, 2017).

Those who believe Vaporwave represents a critique on capitalism also engage with the genre to discuss such topics (wosX -, 2015).

References:

 Born, G. & Haworth, C. (2017). From Microsound to Vaporwave: Internet-Mediated Musics, Online Methods, and Genre. Music and Letters 98(4), 601-647. Oxford University Press. Retrieved March 5, 2019, from Project MUSE database.

Glitsos, L. (2018). Vaporwave, or music optimised for abandoned malls. Popular Music, 37(1), 100-118.

Han, S., & Peters, D. (2016). Vaporwave: Subversive Dream Music for the Post-Internet Age. Retrieved from https://www.bandwagon.asia/articles/vaporwave-subversive-dream-music-for-the-post-internet-age

wosX -. (2015). Vaporwave: A Brief History [Video]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdpP0mXOlWM

[lavieboheme930]

601- The Flame

Do you have a facial expression you seem to pull a lot? What is it? I’m always smiling

Do you always listen to music when you’re online? Yes

If so, what are you currently listening to? The Boys Of Summer by Don Henley

When you can’t sleep, what do you do? Read a book 

Did you like the last book you read? What was it about? I’m liking the current book I’m reading, Triplicity

Do you prefer things (Movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Either or

Have you ever rubbed your eyes so much you couldn’t see for a while? No

Do you like people more or less when they have similar tastes to you? Why? Doesn’t matter

Do you ever forget how to do really simple things? Like what? N

What would you change about your current physical appearance if you could? I’d be taller 

Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Yeah

Do you pull faces at yourself when you look in the mirror? No.

Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I try not to take it

Do you prefer acoustic or studio versions of songs? studio

Do you quote movies often? Any ones in particular? No

If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Nothing I can think of

Do you like the sound of your computer’s keyboard typing? Whatever

If you had to make a superhero secret base somewhere, where would it go? No idea

Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I don’t like Skittles.

What about chocolate or peanut M&M’s? Just the plain chocolate ones.

Your favourite band: Do you prefer their old or new stuff? Hanson.  And I’ll be honest, like their older stuff better

Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? Yes.

What pattern was on the last pair of socks you wore? No pattern

Would you rather have a big house or a big garden? either

Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? Yes

When was the last time you felt dizzy? Other day

Do you have a crush on anyone who’s unattainable? Why are they? No

Can you talk and work at the same time? Yes

Do you care more about yourself or more about others? Others which is horrible cause I never put myself first

Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get really bored.

Do you like going to museums? Any particular type? Yes.  Art ones

Is there anyone you don’t think you’ll ever get over? Who? No

Are you ever scared of people reading your survey answers? No.

If you could change your accent, would you? To what? Scottish

What time do you usually go to bed at on weekends? 9

Does any part of you itch right now? Yes my eyebrow

How often do you re-watch / re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? depends.

What time is it right now? 8:25 pm

Should you be doing something else instead of this? What? Nthing

What colour are your eyes? Do you like them? Brown.  Yeah but I wish they were blue

What colour ink do you prefer writing in? No particular color.

What is your favourite kind of take-away to order? None.

What is your favourite joke? Way too many

When was the last time you met someone who shared your first name? Like all the time LOL

Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? No

When was the last time you took a picture? What was it of? Last week...Brian walking into the TV studio

Do you ever watch movies with the subtitles on just for fun? No

Do you tend to call people by their birth name or a nickname? Depends

When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Been awhile...I hate going to the doctor

Do you ever wear shoes even though they hurt your feet? Yes