#is it really childhood if you've never been allowed to be a child

[danieyells]

. . .I could've sworn I did Ritsu's already. Apparently not. Yuri's one of my favorites and he's the one I chose in the beginning so I'm saving his for when I'm a little better rested(I have Monday off because of another doctor's appointment, so that's the lastest i'll post it)

RITSU IS SO. . .I LOVE HIM. I'll rag on him a lot because he's so tunnel visioned and just like. . .repressed. And he needs to touch grass(figuratively) but also. . .when you've been set from childhood to work and care only for your work and only know your work. . .it's understandable that he is the way he is. . . .

The way he changes as his affinity goes up is very repressed too. . .but you can still see the change at the end a little. He's a very stagnant character. . .but still interesting to look into the mannerisms of.

Default:

"Any self-respecting inspector would stay comfortably ahead of schedule—I suggest you get into the habit. Let's go—there's no time to waste."

dude this is the 'you've logged in for the first time today' dialogue why are you assuming that i must be late! rude.

"I have been assigned to Sinostra, so I will not allow them to stand trial, no matter how villainous their actions. That is the Shinjo family policy."

"I shall ensure the Gala is held this year, and that Sinostra will wear the Laurel Crown. I have never made a promise I couldn't keep."

boy i can't wait for that to fall through--he, respectfully, needs the humbling.

"I've read the Compendium of Laws countless times since I was a child. Memorizing its contents is a rite of passage for the eldest son of the Shinjo family."

and somehow it ended up an artifact he can use as a weapon? I really wanna know what it does tbh.

"What business do you have with me? Please keep in mind that I charge 5500 yen per half hour for consultations, tax inclusive."

(roughly $35USD, although it's faster to just think of it as $55--) WE ARE BUSINESS PARTNERS. WHAT ARE YOU CHARGING A MFER FOR.

"As long as I have a notebook, my business cards, a binder, paper, and my voice recorder, I can handle the initial stages of any case."

i need my binder every day too ritsu.

You've Got Mail:

"Did you check that notification yet? We could have a request from a client, so please do so right away."

Affinity 1:

"{PC}. Are you aware of the responsibility your position as inspector entails? I suggest you tidy your appearance and wipe that vacant look from your face."

they do not need to be aesthetically in order to be inspector. as long as they're paying attention it may even be better to look vacant. lure them into a false sense of security. also it's easier to pay attention if you're comfortable, in my experience. . . .

Affinity 2:

"You've lost your notebook? Just a moment. ...At 9:04 AM, it was inside the photocopier. Yes, I do have that information recorded."

Affinity 3:

"Have you seen Taiga Hoshibami? Strange... According to my behavioral model, he should be in the casino at this time..."

Affinity 4:

"At the end of each day, I compile information about every person I encountered in my notebook. It always proves useful eventually."

yandere adjacent behavior, except it's for everyone and not just one person lolol

Affinity 5:

"The vice-captain has asked me to organize some documents. Let's start by making copies of everything in case the originals become lost or damaged."

Romeo has a line that references this as well! He didn't realize where Ritsu went, just that he ran off with the documents he was given lmaoooo

Affinity 6:

"I always have my business cards on hand. It should go without saying—any lawyer who fails to gain their client's trust during the first meeting is not worth their salt."

Affinity 7:

"A post-meal coffee must be drunk black. Unnecessary additives only interfere with the natural flavor."

Affinity 8:

"Until the age of three, I spent my days visiting the greatest sights the world has to offer with my mother, as from four my studies would prevent me from doing so."

is that child abuse? i think that's child abuse. you learn the source of ritsu's problems very early on in his affinity--he has had zero normal social interaction opportunities and no childhood. From birth until he stopped being a toddler he was just flying around the world looking at beautiful things, no stability in his location or world aside from the presence of his mother, and then he went home and probably basically got locked away to study law the moment he could sort of read. His whole existence was molding him to work. . .Subaru is similar, even down to what age they were forced to start preparing to work at. But Subaru is at least better adjusted, probably because acting awarded him better opportunities to try and think about how other people think.

Affinity 9:

"According to my behavioral model, there is a 29% chance that Taiga Hoshibami is currently at the baccarat table."

Affinity 10:

"I review the day's coursework for two hours then prepare for the next day's classes for three— no more, and no less. Six more minutes of silence, please."

WHERE DO THE RECORDINGS COME IN TO THIS. This mans somehow has 40 hour days. Maybe his artifact slows down time or something lol

Affinity 11:

"Good morning, {PC}. We have a meeting at 3 PM today, so please adjust your plans accordingly."

Affinity 12:

"Darkwick Rulebook Article 183: "For the protection of anomalies, unnecessary running indoors is prohibited." This rule has been in place for over one hundred years."

wait how old is this school? how old is the Institute???

Affinity 13:

"All right. We need to organize our notes from today's investigation, so let's relocate to the diner. Our usual booth, of course."

Affinity 14:

"The content of our classes may be novel, but I topped the year in the scholastic ability test—they are nothing I can't handle."

so among the first years' scholastic ability tests, Ritsu was 1st, Leo was 2nd, Sho was 5th. Considering there are only four new first years then that must include the general students too. I wonder where Ren placed? Probably not very high. But still, Ritsu is a genius. . .or at least very very good at memorizing information. Lots of book smarts, minimal other smarts.

Affinity 15:

"As your business partner, I request that you improve your conduct. Please refrain from consenting to any further uncompensated labor."

Affinity 16:

"Our Anomalous Law classes are truly fascinating. There is a long history well worth learning about— though of course, I have already mastered the basics."

Affinity 17:

"I cannot afford to be complacent, even before bedtime. It's vital that I check the day's notes again to ensure nothing has been missed."

Affinity 18:

"I set time aside in the evening to watch opera performances online. It allows me to get my thoughts in order, and provides a change of pace."

when??? what time??? because he has to review all of the audio recordings and notes from the whole day--what time does he have to do anything in???

Affinity 19:

"I just finished checking my recordings from today. You sighed a total of four times— is something troubling you?"

i love the vibe of this. rather than silently nothing your sighing and potential exhaustion or scolding you for not caring for yourself, he expresses concern towards you. also, it's so soft yandere. like he already records everything you say and do, to confront you over it on top of that he shamelessly defends his recording and notetaking. . .if not for that he recorded everyone it would really be so yandere lolol. instead it's just his odd and overbearing way of showing he's beginning to care.

Affinity 20:

"You struggle to get up in the morning? I can contact you each day at a set time if you like, but I'll have to think about how much to charge..."

affinity 20 and my guy still wants to charge for his time. . .we're gonna have to teach him to have A Singular Normal Social Connection aren't we. and we're probably gonna fail.

Affinity 21:

"You wish to have lunch with me? All right. We are business partners, so I will accompany you free of charge."

wait maybe i spoke too soon.

Affinity 22:

"This is for you, {PC}— it's the takeout coffee I often purchase. Your performance will decline if your mind isn't sharp."

his increased attachment is shown in the bare minimum of understanding normal human social interaction and caring for you by sharing his things and his time without charge. In trying to make you the best you(from his perspective) that you can be. Because that's what his parents did for him--so surely that's the best expression of love he has, aside from obsessive study and understanding.

Affinity 23:

"I feel we made solid progress toward the reinstatement of the Gala today. Let's reconvene again tomorrow and continue working together to realize our goal."

Affinity 24:

"Could I ask you to accompany me a little longer, {PC}? I realize it's outside of business hours, but...I would appreciate it if you could make a special exception."

He wants to spend time with you. And he's realizing he can just ask that. But he's so entrenched in legal and business mannerisms he doesn't know how to say "i want to be around you for longer". You're his business partner. It's bad form to request your attention outside of work, it has no value towards your goals and business efforts, but. . .that he's making a sort of formal appeal for your attention outside of work is as far as he can get in terms of expressing his affection right now.

Affinity 25(max):

"It seems we make better business partners than I would have expected. I look forward to a long and prosperous relationship with you."

kind of comical that his max affinity line is still so formal after a more friendly 'please spend time with me late at night' 24th. . .but also, he wants you to be his business partner for longer. i think that counts towards something! It's a reason to stay with you! Maybe over the course of your business partnership he'll learn how to express deeper feelings. . .he's going to need an heir, after all--

Spring:

"There has been a noticeable increase in reports of suspicious activity of late. More incidents means more business. Be prepared."

"You have a petal in your hair. A little more to the right. No, not there. Just let me remove it. Hold still."

"Indeed, the cherry blossoms are in bloom. Incidentally, Japan's oldest cherry blossom tree can be found in Yamanashi Prefecture and is estimated to be 2000 years old."

ritsu would probably kill at historical trivia night.

"I had tempura at the cafeteria today. It didn't come close to the tempura I would eat with my father at the historic soba restaurant we used to frequent though."

Summer:

"This one is for my face, and this is for my body. I have six handkerchiefs with me— enough for morning, noon, and night. I cannot let my opponents see me sweat."

why's this giving me ace attorney prosecutor energy. . . . .

"I witnessed a half-naked man running around in this vicinity. Did you see him? He is risking a charge of indecent exposure."

but we saw Kaito in his underwear and you said that meant he wasn't at risk of indecent exposure. . . . . . . .

"The warmer it gets, the more of a racket people make. Honestly, how were these people raised?"

to relax and have fun during the summer break. . .you should give it a try.

"You want to go and watch the fireworks? A rather childish request, but all right. So? Where would one go to view them?"

FIREWORKS DATE FIREWORKS DATE just don't touch him without getting his consent first that could be counted as sexual harassment and he'll Get Your Ass.

Autumn:

"The weather is much more pleasant for going out on professional errands now. A first-rate lawyer keeps their boots on the ground. Now then, let's get going."

"I object to the cultural assumption that fall is the season of the arts. The arts should be enjoyed throughout the year, regardless of the season."

you and yuri would get along well i think. until you realize the guy is a medical malpractice suit waiting to happen. then you'd criticize him and he would take that so poorly.

"Once I've perused the relevant documents in the library, I plan on doing some reading. Please excuse me."

"The nights may grow longer in the fall, but daylight hours should not affect the time you rise and retire. I'll see you tomorrow."

Winter:

"I have detected a change in how Taiga Hoshibami divides his time since the weather has taken a cold turn. It has created quite a quandary for me..."

yeah he doesn't like getting out of bed when it's cold. he also eats a lot more, like a bear about to hibernate. shockingly behavior patterns tend to change with the seasons.

"I've never experienced snowfall heavy enough to obstruct my movement, but I'd like to deepen my knowledge of the phenomenon for future reference."

to frostheim then! i'm sure that place is just awful for movement in winter.

"I'm heading to the diner to fulfill a request from Ren Shiranami. Perhaps I shall enjoy a warm bowl of soup while I'm there."

. . .I wonder if this is an Obey Me!Raphael situation where he has no grasp of that the food is not good. . . .

"People say that hard work is the key to success, but it only took me a year to master German—as was the case with Italian and French."

His birthday:

"Indeed, today is my birthday. I've always celebrated this day by enjoying my mother's cooking, but from this year I am striving for a more self-reliant existence."

MAMA'S BOY MAMA'S BOY tbf up until he was 3 his mother was probably his only social connection and then he was locked away studying so. . .his mom is probably the only one he has like. . .personal feelings and attachment for. you'll be a tradwife too :) but also that he's trying to be more self-reliant at darkwick. . .that really does explain that he's like. not used to any sort of social interaction or doing things he hasn't been told to do by his parents. maybe in his time at darkwick he'll realize how good it feels to just. . .be a person. dedicate time to fun and relaxation. realize that work isn't everything. or maybe he'll be so judgemental towards the lifestyles of others he'll retreat even further into his current habits.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday. A year older, a year wiser. I have high hopes for your performance in the coming year."

New Years:

"Happy New Year. Let's devote these next 365 days—or 8760 hours—to finding fitting solutions to the challenges that come our way."

what if it's a leap year. can we take the extra day off?

Valentine's Day:

"Thank you for the chocolates. Are you gifting them to me out of social obligation, or is this an expression of affection? Your answer will influence what you receive in return."

(for the uninitiated, that is very much a thing in Japan where on valentine's day a girl give some men in her life--like coworkers--obligation chocolates, which are generally not as nice and most likely store bought, although this practice is losing ground. friends get friendship chocolate and you give people you're actually attracted to or in a relationship more extravagant, expensive, or homemade chocolates to express your true feelings or a desire to be in a relationship with them. Ritsu is essentially asking 'is this because we're coworkers or are you asking me out' because White Day is the day for return gifts in response to given valentine's day gifts, and in the case of chocolates given to someone you wanna go out with they can act as a response to that proposal. presumably if you're asking him out he wants to give you chocolate to agree to get with you, since he's bothering to ask. . . .

White Day:

"White Day has its roots in Japan, having been invented by a certain historic confectionery shop. With that knowledge, please accept this."

'here's some trivia. and some chocolates. we are now in a relationship. should this be as fruitful as our business partnership, we can discuss marriage plans within the year.'

April Fool's Day:

"The spreading of false rumors is subject to strict punishment under Article 233 of the Penal Code. Do you still intend to continue this ruse?"

NO FUN ALLOWED.

Halloween:

"Coercing another party to choose between a "trick" or a "treat" could amount to intimidation. Engage in such festivities at your own risk."

NO FUN ALLOWED PART TWO: ILLEGAL BOOGALOO.

Christmas:

"Religious freedom is guaranteed by Article 20 of the Constitution. If this is a day that you wish to celebrate, then I will accept that."

he can't make you work on religious holidays you need off!!

Idle:

"Five seconds have elapsed. Yes, that is how long you've kept me waiting."

"How long do you intend to keep me waiting? As always, I am on a tight schedule today. Please hurry up."

Absent:

"I've been expecting you, {PC}. You weren't planning on breaking your promise to me, were you?"

SUCH A HARD-WORKING, SOCIALLY INEPT LAD. But Ritsu's a lot of fun, I give him a lot of shit and i desperately need him to touch some grass and get a reality check and learn about how others live and maybe experiment. . .but like i love him for being such a little shit. he's so. . .ignorant to the rest of the world and how other people are. . .i love seeing him try and dissect other people's behavior and intentions and coming to the conclusion that they must want the same things as him because he just. . .has no grasp of interests and intentions that aren't his own. . . . It makes me facepalm but also makes me laugh 8'D good boy. quality boy.

[genderkoolaid]

expand on ur "mental asylum Marxism shit" thing about children & grief?? from what you've said im pretty sure i will relate from my own experiences as a grieving child. also it sounds interesting!!

so i was thinking about how weird it is that, when a child has to deal with the death of a loved one, they say something like "no child should have to go through this! no child should have to even think about death!" which strikes me as weird because i was a child who dealt with the deaths of multiple close family members, very close together. the first was my great-grandmother, who i lived with and who was my best friend. death was never foreign to me (my mom has always been very death-positive on top of all that). grief was just part of my life like everything else was.

but i realized that its because people think childhood should not have any flaws. you should be 100% happy and fulfilled all the time. any time a child experiences anything painful, its bad. not "children should have access to love and support," but "children should not have basic life experiences because the idea of childhood being anything other than fluffy purity scares me."

because children in society are fundamentally not people. especially in a society structured around christian beliefs in natural law theory, that what is natural = what is good, healthy, and Divinely commanded. so on top of children being the property of adults, they are also forced to be the symbols of Nature. whatever is the most useful to whoever needs them. which means we built up this idea of children as tabula rasas, pureness incarnate. like a magic mirror where if we look into it, we'll be able to catch a glimpse of the true face of humanity. every single thing children do can be scrutinized for some grand truth about humans as a whole. and then, the ways children are treated also reflect how we think humanity should interact with its own nature.

example: the idea of humanity as inherently sinful and wicked, with that urge needing to be suppressed through state violence (hello hobbes) = the idea that children are annoying and shitty on purpose and need to be forced via punishment into being Good Citizens.

this is also why children cannot be trans, even though all trans people must prove that we were trans children. being queer must be unnatural; and even if not, its inherently sexual, and sexuality is dirty and bad. so children can't be trans, and they also can't read books on puberty until their parents decide when and what exactly they are allowed to learn. child victims of sexual assault only matter to the extent that they can be used as a symbol of a cultural threat; calling Jewish or trans people pedophiles means saying that they are foreigners attacking basic human nature, and indirectly, Divine command. if you aren't the right kind of victim, or when you inevitably reveal yourself to be A Person with complicated experiences and opinions, you are no longer of use to the agenda.

it sucks that bad things happen to anyone. aspects of youth can exacerbate the pain sometimes, but sometimes it does the reverse: I wish I could have spent more time with the family members I lost, but I know other people who are glad they loss family members young, because they weren't really hurt by it. I think the main thing is that, even sometimes when we talk about our past selves, we project this cultural idea of Child As Purity and ignore the actual person having the experience. when we "empathize" with children by projecting Purity onto them, we aren't actually connecting with them.

[the-atlas-sister]

𝙻𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚢

(𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒 𝙼𝚒𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚢𝚊 𝚇 𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔, 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

The last thing Takashi expected when he walked into your shared apartment was the view of his beautiful girlfriend collecting toys and pillows off the ground, placing them in a woven basket within her hands.

"Taka, I'm so sorry," you said quickly, standing up fully and gazing up at your newlywed husband with wide eyes. "Your mom brought your sisters over while you were at work and I said I could handle them on my own, but they went to bed later than I thought they would so I had no time to clean the apartment. "

As you rambled on, continuing your various cleaning of the living room, Takashi couldn't help but grin at you. The sight of you rambling and explaining your day, wearing one of his old shirt and boxers, hair a mess and makeup gone made his heart swell. He had never really understood the idea of falling in love all over again, but as he saw you now, he understood it completetly.

"And now I'm like, crazy hungry, because I didn't have time to make us dinner. So I was thinking we just make some mac and cheese and have our own little dinner together. How does that-" You halted your rambling when you noticed Takashi gazing at you with a wide and fond smile on his face. You furrowed your brows at him, a look of confusion crossing your features, which only appeared to make Takashi's smile grow wider. "Why're you staring at me like that?"

"You've never looked more beautiful," Takashi stated softly, dropping his bag beside the front door and approaching you.

You let out a light scoff at the compliment, but couldn't help the flush of your cheeks. "Our wedding day? Nah, nothing compared to the messy look of your wife in boxers and with bags under her eyes," you said sarcastically, letting your arms drape lazily over his shoulders as he tugged you towards him by the waist.

"What can I say? You always look beautiful," he shrugged, nuzzling his face tiredly into your neck. "You look especially adorable in my clothes." You chuckled and watched as he bent down, picking up a few of the toys.

"You're in a good mood," you giggle at him, watching as he cleans the living room.

"I'm always in a good mood when I'm around you," he said, looking over his shoulder at you with a gentle smile on his face. You tilted your head at him as he gazes at you with that content expression. "I could stare at you all day."

"You spoil me," you scoffed, wacking him lightly with a stuffed animal.

"I would argue, you deserve to be spoiled," Takashi chuckled, standing up and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You rolled your eyes at him but leaned forward, inching closer to his lips.

Just before you met in the middle, a small voice called out.

"Y/n?"

You both turned to see Mana standing in the doorway, eyes obviously heavy with sleep and a small stuffed fox from your childhood in her arms.

"Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" you said softly, kneeling in front of the eight year old.

"I got scared," Mana stated, looking up at you with wide eyes. She looked around you to see her older brother. "Can you come stay with me and Luna?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there-"

"No, Y/n." Mana pouted up at her older brother, quick to cut him off, much to his surprise. "I want Y/n."

Takashi looked at you with an apologetic look. "Mana, Y/n's been taking care of you all night," he said softly, approaching his sister slowly. "I'll put you to bed. Let her rest."

Mana's tired lip jutted out before she began to open her mouth in protest.

"I can do it," you said softly, taking the girl's hand. Takashi frowned slightly as his sister's eyes lit up. "I'll be back when she falls asleep," you said, allowing the pink haired child to drag you back to the guest bedroom where she and her sister were sleeping. "Why can't you sleep?" you asked the younger of the two as you helped her climb into bed with her sister, who was conveniently sleeping soundly.

"I don't like the dark," she stated gently, shifting under the covers. "I think the grim reaper is gonna come and reap my soul."

You blinked in surprise at the girl's fear, mentally reminding yourself to scold Takashi for allowing his sisters to indulge in such media. "Well, I happen to know an excellent song to scare away the reaper and protect your soul," you said, kneeling beside the bed to look at the girl.

"You're lying," she said, narrowing her eyes at you.

"Wanna bet?" you whispered softly. "I'll sing you to sleep and if you wake up with your soul intact you know it works."

Mana hesitated for a moment, narrowing her eyes at you before nodding.

You smiled at her before beginning to sing softly. You index finger began to gently stroke her nose, starting from her forehead to the tip of her nose slowly. A trick you had learned working with other children. As you sang and gently stroked her nose, her eyes began to flutter closed.

When you heard her gentle snores and even breathing, you took that as your sign to stand and creep out of the bedroom.

As you entered the living room, you were met with the soft snores of your husband. You smiled softly at the sight of him sleeping on the couch, limbs sprawled out lazily, and a bit of drool slipping from the corner of his lips. You quietly approached him, kneeling beside his head beside the couch.

"Taka," you whispered, bringing your knuckles up to brush against his cheekbone gently. "Taka."

Takashi stirred slightly, letting out a small groan as his hand came up to hold your own. "Hi," he said tiredly, his eyes opening in a thin eyed squint as he looked at you. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," you said softly, brushing your thumb over his knuckles with a smile. "Taka?"

"Yeah, Y/n/n?" he hummed, forcing his eyes to stay open as he shifted to face you.

"Let's have a baby."

That woke Takashi up real quick. You stumbled back at how quickly he sat up, a massive grin spreading across his face. "What?"

"Let's have a baby," you repeated with a grin of your own. "I wanna have a family with you, Taka."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," Takashi grinned, pulling you against him. It was an odd angle but he needed to feel you close to him. "Let's do it right now. The girls are asleep?"

Your eyes went wide as you nodded. He quickly scooped you into his arms and began to carry you towards your bedroom, his lips never leaving your neck. "I'm going to fill you up so well, princess."

Border by @saradika

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐖𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐌𝐞? [𝐀𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairings: older brother!Alhaitham x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, modern AU, incest, loss of virginity, size kink, cockwarming, creampie.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. Tommee Profitt feat. Jung Youth - Who's Gonna Stop Me

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

Just let me be reborn as the younger sister of this divine man (っ˘ω˘ς )

art: @eriimyon

You've never even thought about the fact that girls your age should be interested in guys. Every time you heard your friends enthusiastically discussing the looks of your classmates, you felt so far away from it. Your gaze has never clung to men passing by, and your heart has never even been touched by sympathy for anyone. That's how it was until it came to your brother.

«Your brother is so sexy! Does he have a girlfriend?»

Is it true? Perhaps… the only man you've ever looked at has always been him. Since childhood, you have secretly admired the success of your older brother, not missing the opportunity to ask him to pull you up in your studies when he had a free minute. It could hardly be said that Alhaitham enjoyed spending time with you when you were a child. This man is too difficult to understand. This stoically indifferent expression on his face, the cold gazes of emerald eyes and a monotonous low voice are what have accompanied you since birth.

As soon as Alhaitham saw tears welling up in your innocent eyes, he instantly silently left your room, before getting a clear answer who made you cry. You didn't know where he went or what he was doing, but any of your problems were solved the very next day, which gave rise to this feeling of unconditional security when you looked at his tall figure and heard these quiet sighs and banal phrases uttered in a quiet indifferent tone only to dismiss your obsessive questions about what suddenly happened to the classmates who bullied you. A certain modesty of your older brother has planted in your heart the belief that, no matter how distant Alhaitham may seem, he cares about you in his own way and will never allow his little sister to cope with difficulties alone, even if you'll hardly ever be able to hear words of support from him.

And now, ten years later, you still look at Alhaitham with unspoken gratitude and adoration, despite the fact that his presence in your life is barely noticeable. You always sneak a peek into your brother's room when he's not at home, carefully examining the few things he left on the table. Everything that belongs to Alhaitham always arouses your genuine interest, although the entire contents of his room, perhaps, can be classified as essential items and mountains of books filling the shelves of tall cabinets. Every time your fingers slide over the numerous book spines, and your eyes memorize several titles in order to secretly read them. Maybe this way you can get closer to him — that's what you always thought.

But still, is your obsession with him really normal? This question has been in your head since the image of Alhaitham began to pop up in your thoughts more often when you were alone with yourself. Loving your older brother is absolutely normal, isn't it? And remembering how you once saw Alhaitham tired after work, throwing off his shirt and exposing his muscular back and broad shoulders in his room while you were passing by the ajar door is also normal. You only had a moment to capture in your memory the elastic muscles of his chest and the V-shaped line of his abs disappearing behind his lowered trousers, but it was more than enough to keep this image in your thoughts for several weeks.

«Your brother is so sexy...»

Is this the real reason why a blush now sticks to your cheeks when your eyes meet Alhaitham's gaze? Is this the reason why you're touching yourself so obscenely for the first time, replaying over and over in your memory what you probably shouldn't have seen? But you comfort yourself with the thought that men often strip to the waist and there is nothing indecent about it. You've already seen him in this form as a child, but why does it bother you so much now and seem so wrong?

You need to stop this.

You've spent hours watching guys your age, trying to awaken those emotions that should torment a girl's heart when looking at admittedly attractive members of the opposite sex, but you don't feel anything. Just boredom.

You've also never heard of Alhaitham having a relationship with anyone. Of course, if you had asked him a question, he would have replied that he is too busy or that he isn't interested, but then what about you? Are you also not interested in relationships, or is there another reason why you can't keep up a conversation with friends who are so immersed in matters of the heart that you don't understand? The answer seemed so close, somewhere on the surface. You only have to stretch out your hand and you'll see what you are trying so desperately not to notice.

Therefore, now you try not to make noise, sneaking back to Alhaitham's door when you hear him enter his room late at night, probably tired after a hard day's work. You need to look at him again, but your heart is so restless every time you even try to imagine how you start a conversation with him. Since when did it become so difficult for you to communicate with your own brother?

You peek cautiously through the half-open door, noticing Alhaitham lounging in an armchair with a book in his hand. His long fingers cling to his black tie, getting rid of the suffocating pressure on his neck in one light practiced movement. His lips are slightly parted as your brother sighs heavily, unbuttoning the top couple of buttons on his slightly rumpled shirt before leaning back in his chair.

Long eyelashes barely touch the skin of Alhaitham's face when he closes his eyes, combing the unruly strands of silver bangs with his palm. He's really handsome, you can't deny that. But you've seen enough men that you could call beautiful, but just looking at Alhaitham causes a thrill in your chest, the nature of which you are so desperate to understand.

— How long are you going to stand in the doorway? If you need anything, come in.

Your eyes widen with fright, and your muscles seem to turn to stone, not allowing you to move from your place, when you hurriedly shift your gaze from Alhaitham's chest slightly peeking out from under the cotton fabric to the emerald irises looking at you with slight irritation.

— I, uh… I'm sorry, I don't need anything! — you almost take off, ready to run back to your room, when you notice Alhaitham getting up from his chair, approaching your confused figure.

It all happened so fast. You didn't even have time to understand anything, as Alhaitham's big hand wrapped around your shoulder, forcing you to go inside, when you heard the slam of the door behind you, to which your back is now pressed. Your brother's free hand presses into the wooden surface, enclosing you between him and the door, while the fingers of his other hand cling to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning one by one and exposing the relief of Alhaitham's body right in front of your face.

— Wh-what are you doing?! — you turn away, blunting your gaze to the floor, trying to hide the way your cheeks instantly flushed when the pleasant scent of his perfume hit your nose.

— Huh? Isn't that what you were just looking at?

— I don't…

The words get stuck somewhere deep in your throat when Alhaitham's long fingers wrap around your wrist, guiding your hand to his chest. As soon as the pads touch your brother's skin, this aching pain comes back to your lower abdomen. He's so warm. You can feel the muscles tense under your touch, becoming even harder, you can feel his heart beating steadily, as if absolutely nothing unusual is happening right now. Alhaitham is calm, as always, carefully watching your funny reaction from his height. Your hand trembles in his grip, but your fingers lightly press on the elastic flesh, causing embarrassment to tingle the skin of your face even more.

— Do you think I don't notice the way you look at me? I always assumed that my sister was a diligent good girl, but what do I see now? — Alhaitham leans towards your ear, guiding your palm lower over his prominent abs as his hot breath touches your face. — Now you're just as spoiled as all adults.

His words make your stomach churn with fear. The way the pads of your fingers slide over every bump of his tense stomach, the way his lips are close to your face, the way Alhaitham's breathing becomes more ragged when your hand stops on the belt of his trousers, it seems so wrong, but for some reason you just stay silent, letting him do it to you. You can feel the heat rushing to the bottom of your stomach when Alhaitham guides your fingers to his groin. You've never touched anyone… there before. Even through the dense fabric, the warmth emanating from his dick touches your hand, which unconsciously wraps around the hard bulge, causing your heart to pound wildly, pulsating in your ears.

— H-Haitham, stop it, I don't understand what you want… — the volume of your voice drops to a whisper.

It's so damn hard. Your body heats up treacherously, and moisture begins to accumulate between your clenching thighs. You press against the door, trying to escape at least somewhere from the cage in which Alhaitham imprisoned you, but he sees how your legs are shaking and feels your pulse quicken, quietly grinning at how something your body tells him goes against the words that come unsteadily from your tongue.

— I don't remember teaching you to lie. Didn't you spy on me a few weeks ago because you wanted to? And that's what you came for today.

— No! I would never…

— You're too bad at hiding your desires for a girl who knows better than anyone that I'm observant enough. Can't any of your peers meet your needs, huh?

— How do you…

— I know everything I need to know. I even know you're still a virgin, but you still want me to fuck you. But it's reasonable.

— What are you talking about?! Is it okay to want something like this with own brother? — you pull your hand back, ostentatiously clenching your fingers into a fist and pulling away from Alhaitham's face, almost buried in the curve of your neck. Your brother straightens up, towering over you like a heavy shadow, now looking into your eyes, desperately trying not to break eye contact. What do you want to prove to him if your other hand is now nervously fiddling with the fabric of your nightgown, and your teeth are unconsciously biting your lower lip, trying hard to remain calm even when the fabric of your underwear is soaked with warm moisture?

— Yes, — your heart sank in your chest when you heard such a short and clear answer, uttered with a completely serious expression on your brother's face. — There's no one who knows you better than I do. It makes sense that you want your first time to be with me. Objectively, I think girls your age really find me attractive, so that doesn't raise any questions either. I don't understand why you're so puzzled, Y/N, given the fact that, obviously for both of us, you've wanted this for a long time, which means you've had time to weigh all the pros and cons since you came to me today.

His words sound like this… makes sense, but then why do you feel that your desires are so obscene? Is the problem that he's your brother? But Alhaitham is right, you spent almost every day of your life with him, shared your most intimate things with him, even if he wasn't interested, he was always there for you, and what's strange about the fact that you are... in love with him?

— I… I think I'm just confused… I need to be alone and think about this...

— There's no need for that.

The randomly scattered pieces of the puzzle finally came together in a clear picture. You can feel your brother's soft lips pressing against yours, the warmth of his palm sliding up your thigh, making its way under the fabric of your homemade shorts. And it doesn't seem wrong. It's so good. Finally, the warmth that your friends seemed to be talking about spread in your chest. When a loved one touches you, when he presses his lips to yours for the first time. Your body answered all the questions swarming in your head for you as your arms wrapped around Alhaitham's neck, deepening the kiss. So clumsily, but your tongue meets his, more insistently dominating your mouth. What an indescribable feeling.

It's so hot, it's so hard to breathe, but you want more when you pull your brother closer, and his knee settles so vulgarly between your legs, pressing into the heat of your crotch. You wanted to push Alhaitham away so as not to stain his trousers with the moisture that your shorts must have soaked through, but there was nothing you could do with how damn pleasant this friction feels caused by his knee pushing against your writhing body.

Alhaitham's fingertips hook into the waistband of your shorts, hastily sliding the soft fabric down your thighs until it crumples on the floor under your feet. A moan escapes from your chest, muffled by his lips, when you feel your toes lift off the floor, and your back presses harder against the door of your brother's room while he scoops you up in his arms, forcing you to wrap your legs around his hips. A hard cock presses against your crotch through the fabric separating you from the hot flesh.

It's only when his lips finally leave yours that you realize what's going on. Alhaitham's green eyes seemed to look as clouded as yours. You've never seen him like this before. Although his face still didn't express a single emotion, something had clearly changed. Your brother is looking at you with a desire you've never seen in anyone's eyes. It's so strange, so unusual, but the only thing you know is that you like it. You like to feel desired, you like to feel his dick throbbing with another unobtrusive thrust between your legs spread for him, you like to hold on to Alhaitham's muscular shoulders like this while he hastily unbuttons the belt and zipper of his trousers, then pushing aside the lace fabric of your underwear.

The hot head of the cock slides up your slippery crotch, covering the base with sticky moisture. Even without looking down, you could feel with your own body how impressive Alhaitham's dick is. If it weren't for the intoxicating pleasure caused by the delicious friction of his throbbing erection, you'd probably be terrified even at the thought of him entering you. But there was another good reason for your calmness. You know your brother will never hurt you. Perhaps he was right again, as always. You only want him because no one will take care of you like Alhaitham is.

Your throat is bursting with moans that you are desperately trying to hold back so that your parents on the ground floor won't hear you, and it gets even harder when you feel Alhaitham's cock slowly begin to stretch you, sinking inch by inch into your warm insides.

— You're damn tight, Y/N. I'm even flattered that you saved yourself for me.

— Haitham, stop embarrassing me! — you whisper loudly, barely managing to cover your mouth with your hand when his hips meet your ass in one sharp thrust. It… hurts a little, but how perfectly his cock filled your insides. You can feel the blood pulsing in the veins running along the base of his hard organ while he remains motionless, causing your walls to involuntarily contract.

— Why are you confused by such simple facts? I find such emotions inappropriate when my cock is already inside you.

— Just… move… — you look away, tightening your arms around his neck.

— Hm-m? You got used to it so quickly, it's commendable, — you feel Alhaitham's dick pushing even harder into your cervix, which seemed impossible when he pressed his hips even tighter against yours.

It's so unusual to feel him so deep inside. His cock is so huge that it feels like he's forced all the organs in your body to make room. But it's so damn little. Your walls spasm around the hard flesh over and over again, wanting to feel more stimulation, which Alhaitham deprives you of just watching you squirm in his arms, and tears come to your eyes.

— Haitham! — you scream, digging your nails into the skin of the back of his head, when footsteps begin to be heard approaching the door.

— Y/N! Y/N, are you at your brother's?

Shit. As soon as you hear your mother's voice, your stomach twists painfully, and you freeze, holding your breath, casting a frightened look at Alhaitham.

The corners of your brother's lips turn up in a slight smile as he brings his index finger to his lips, motioning for you to be quiet.

«What the hell is that supposed to mean?!»

— Yes, mom, she's in my room.

You exhale with relief, seeming to understand what he meant, but your calm is instantly disrupted when Alhaitham's cock abruptly bursts out of your insides, then stretching and filling you to the limit again. Your eyes widen in mute shock as you press your palm tightly to your mouth, trying to swallow any sound that intends to escape from your throat. Your back is pressed against the door over and over again, the only barrier between the dirty sight that is happening in your brother's room from the eyes of an unsuspecting mother, while Alhaitham's hips slam into your ass with a soft thud at a rough impatient pace.

— Oh, then I'll come to you now!

Your brother is silent, not stopping for a second, further terrifying your poor pounding heart. You tremble, shaking your head in panic, trying to convey to Alhaitham without words what he himself should understand, but for some reason his lips stretch into an even wider smile when one of his palms moves to your crotch, and his fingers press on your clitoris, sending a treacherous wave through your body pleasure.

The moment it took your mother to get to the door seemed to last forever, while your lower abdomen was bursting with delicious spasms that you couldn't resist. Your back arches and your hips shake as the knot in your stomach unties. This orgasm isn't comparable to the ones you brought yourself to on your own. The heat settling in every cell of your body is so intoxicating that it seems as if you are about to lose consciousness. The walls of your vagina clenched so tightly around Alhaitham's cock, still not slowing down, that even he couldn't restrain the quiet moan that escaped from his lips while his fingers continued to massage the sensitive bundle of nerves, only prolonging this magical feeling that causes addiction.

The handle twitches, and you feel a slight pressure from the other side of the door.

— Haitham? Is your door closed?

Your mother's worried voice dispels the fog that has enveloped your consciousness.

— I'll be down in a minute, mom! Brother, n-gh… Helps me with the preparation for the test, — you needed all the self-control you had left so that at least your voice didn't tremble, sounding confident enough without arousing suspicion.

— Are you all right? You sound kind of upset...

— Yes, it's all right! Just wait for me downstairs!

It's unbearable. You are so sensitive, but your brother's cock continues to persistently penetrate you, touching all the right points in your insides to make you feel that heady heat rushing to the bottom of your stomach again, even when his hand, covered with your moisture, returns to your thigh. You can hear your mother muttering to herself before you hear soft, retreating footsteps in the hallway.

— What the fuck, Haitham?! — you snap back, weakly slapping your brother, who is apparently amused by your outburst, on the shoulders.

— You did a great job. It would be awkward if she insisted on coming in.

— Awkward?! D-damn it! — you no longer hold back your moans, desperately biting your lower lip to somehow muffle your sounds, when your hands cling to Alhaitham's neck again, gaining an even more careless and rude pace.

The door knocks softly under the pressure of erratic thrusts. Your brother's cock seemed to get even bigger and harder, stretching your tight walls almost painfully. For the first time, the soft sounds of Alhaitham's hoarse moans cut into your ears, which sound even more beautiful than you could have imagined in your dirtiest fantasies. His lips are open, and the muscles of his forearms are so sexually tense when he literally hammers you into the door, chasing his own orgasm. You don't know how it should feel, but you're sure that he's as close as you are, teetering on the edge of a high that seems to drive you crazy.

A second orgasm hits your poor body just when you feel something warm and sticky spreading in your insides, and Alhaitham's hips are pressed tightly against your ass, remaining almost motionless. He rests his head on your shoulder, exhaling heavily from his lungs as you both try to relive the intense pleasure spreading somewhere under your skin.

You barely come to your senses when you feel your brother's cock leaving your insides, and he gently lowers you to the floor, barely standing on your feet and instantly grabbing his arm to keep from losing your balance. Sticky drops of semen trickle down the inside of your thighs, and you watch in fascination as they settle on the floor, gradually coming out of a state of intoxication and digesting what just happened.

— So you need help with the test? — Alhaitham's voice sounds as cold and indifferent as usual again, as if nothing unusual has happened right now, as he takes off his shirt and slides his trousers down his muscular, seductive thighs. You give an awkward glance at his cock as he walks past, heading to the closet to change into his home clothes. How did he fit in you anyway…

— Very funny… — you adjust your underwear, awkwardly trying to pick up the cream drops from your feet before you see your brother handing you a napkin. — Thanks.

Alhaitham silently turns away, pulling a T-shirt over his magnificent body, and you are mesmerized by watching him now at a close distance, and not hiding behind the door of his room.

— Listen… You're going to move away from here, aren't you? Well, someday.

— Huh? Why do you ask? — your brother turns around, looking at you through slightly narrowed eyelids. — Yes. I've only stayed in this house to keep an eye on you sometimes, but I guess my help won't be needed anymore.

— Take me with you! — you grab the soft fabric of his T-shirt, looking up at Alhaitham with a pleading look.

— Ho-oh, I didn't think you didn't like to be here so much, — your brother crosses his arms over his chest, taking in your petite figure with an appraising glance. — What if I ever get into a relationship?

You're sulking, hastily pulling your hand away, about to just leave, when Alhaitham's big palm touches your jaw, pulling your face down for a kiss. Now your beloved brother's lips are touching yours not with the same desire that they touched the first time. Is he kissing you now… tenderly?

As soon as his lips leave yours, you feel your face turn red again when your gaze meets his cold aquamarine eyes.

— If that's what you want, I don't mind.

[dotster001]

I came running once I saw requests were open. Can I please get househusband Riddle, Leona, Cater, Deuce, and Kalim? Ty! Love your work.

3k follower Masterlist

Part One part three

Obviously, there's no world where this man starts out as a househusband. He's a highly paid Doctor to start out. Then you two adopt a baby. After his own childhood, he wants to give a child a chance that he didn't have. While You're both working, you still have more time to spend with the baby. When Riddle finds out he misses the baby's first words, he puts in his two weeks immediately.

He's still strict, but it's in a much more manageable way. He is a good tutor though, so all the neighborhood kids come to him for homework advice. Eventually, at the behest of some very stressed neighborhood moms, he starts a homeschool group.

The house is always spick and span, everything is in place. The home, and everything in it is white or red, looking very professional.

Every meal includes the proper portions of each food group. But there's also a rather sumptuous strawberry dessert at the end of every meal. He asked Trey to teach him as many recipes as he can. But that means…some of them look really good, but every once in a while, one looks like a gooey mess. It still tastes good, but he feels self conscious about it.

Like Idia, he's only technically a househusband. He's an influencer, and he works from home. But according to his sisters, that's not a job, so call him what you will 😡

As much as he insists he's not a househusband, he sure acts like it. He says it's for his magicam, but you've caught him dutifully icing a cake with no camera present.

Like Riddle, he's super color coordinated, there's just much more variety of colors. And every room is designed in a way that can be "cammable" at a moment's notice.

He drives to your work everyday with a bagged lunch, and makes you eat with him. He never skips a day, even if he's sick. And he always adds a cutie element, like cutting your sandwich into shapes, or drawing a picture on the bag.

He's a trophy househusband. Not doing anything. He hires a maid and a butler using his leftover allowance from his time living with his brother.

He's never worked a day in his life, and doesn't intend to start now.if you confront him about his laziness and spending habits, he'll say something like, "Baby, my job is to be here and look pretty when you get home. If you no longer want to be cuddled, then I can start doing housework." Obviously, that's not what you want.

Tbh you have no idea what he even does all day. You leave and come back hours later to him in the same spot and same position.

He's average.but like, in a good way.

He puts 110% effort into everything. He likes to cook, but he has a 75% success rate. He's decent at cleaning, but he breaks stuff from time to time. Sometimes it's been three days and he remembers he's supposed to walk your overweight dog everyday.

But he's so happy to do what he does. And it's human to make mistakes. Plus, Everytime you forgive him for one, he goes husband mode, and makes out with you hard. (It used to be delinquent mode, but then he realized he could use it to his advantage)

He's still a rascal, still picks fights with some of the neighbors over how he can keep the grass as tall as he wants, still gets into trouble when Ace comes over to visit. But he's less likely to beat someone up so bad that you need to bail him out again

*Sighs* a part of you knows that this might be a game to him. But you can't really blame him.

He has enough money that neither of you would have to work in your life. But for whatever reason, you feel the need to. Perhaps it's you also playing the game.

See, someday he has to take over his father's business. So you think that's why he wants to play house right now. Because he knows one day he won't get the chance.

Jamil lives in the guestroom, and does his best not to ruin the immersion. You can usually tell who cooked dinner that day (no offense Kalim) But other than that, Kalim gets left to his own devices.

He's the kind that will wake you up at three in the morning to tell you he reorganized the kitchen. When you go to look the next morning, half of it's a disaster, the other half just doesn't make sense. But he's so proud, and waiting for you to tell him he did a good job, so he'll keep doing it.

He's also the kind that you come home, and he has a whole litter of puppies, with a pout on his face as he begs if you can keep them 🥺

[nariism]

yours, truly

pair. itoshi sae x gn!reader

content: suggestive but nothing explicitly nsfw! angst (kinda) and comfort, heavy narration, mutual pining (sae is bad at feelings lol), implied childhood friends to lovers

synopsis. sae was always afraid of those three words. he's broken, after all. how do you love when you are unlovable?

wc. 1.4k

i love you should be simple.

unfortunately, loving a man like sae was never meant to be peaceful.

it was always catastrophic—the way fire licks skin, the place where lightning and thunder meet, the expansive sea opening up to swallow you whole.

he was just like that, you suppose. closed off from the world in a way that you could not heal even if you tried your best to kiss the wounds away. he was never the type to open up about feelings. and he's never been sentimental, either.

being touchy-feely and sentimental are signs of weakness. the last thing itoshi sae wants to be called is weak.

the first time he offered up his heart on a silver platter, beating and bloody and raw, it was trampled into the ground. stomped out by the heel of someone who had seen him in his most vulnerable moments. it was just some fling in spain; he's not even sure he can remember their face, but for some reason he wanted to throw up.

he told you about it once in passing, with a coffee in one hand and your groceries in the other (he always insisted on carrying them). and he said it so nonchalantly that you had half a mind to laugh in his face and say "yeah, good one, sae," until he looked at you with a sort of sadness in his eyes that you couldn't forget.

you've quickly learned how to tread on eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood; delicately balancing between his good and bad days—mostly bad, mind you.

you're too patient. too kind to a man so broken. but he's too selfish to care.

he's had his fair share of hardships, maybe more than the average person. definitely more than he could count on all ten of his fingers. and each time life snuffed out whatever little light he had left in him, he became more and more angry.

angry at what? angry at himself. angry at the universe. filled to the brim with this rage that he couldn't tame. it's made him cold and detached and starved for warmth.

it was the natural progression of life that filled him with this greed and hunger. he craved for something to finally be his.

he can't love without it being disastrous anymore. it’s almost as if he needs something to fill in the gaps in his heart where fate has so brutally stolen from him; his career, his dreams, his brother.

he was thirteen when he left japan. he was eighteen when he came home. he was thirteen when he said goodbye to you in that airport. he was eighteen when he finally felt like he could breathe again.

but even with your fingers in his hair and your lips against his and the world finally coming to a halt for the first time since he was a child, he couldn't say it.

i love you should be simple. it should come as easy as a heartbeat. for sae it’s agonizing. what right does a man so unlovable have to give love of his own?

being unlovable is a horrible, lonely thing. that's all he knows. that's all he allows himself to know.

it doesn't help that he's bad at it, too. he really does seem like a monster when he says things he doesn't mean in order to protect his own heart. but what most don't realize is that the world has been terribly, terribly cruel to itoshi sae.

now he's twenty-three and doesn't know how to do anything but love devastatingly. he’s incapable of being gentle.

it's constantly there, in the back of his mind. dancing just behind the barrier of his lips when you give him soft smiles and smooth out his jacket with your hands. the words are pounding on the cages of his throat as you climb into his lap and smear kisses along his jaw, breathy and whiny and sweet. but then he bites his tongue until he can taste the blood, and buries his face between your legs instead.

i love you should be simple. for sae, it's the furthest thing.

it's a complicated swell of emotions in him, melting his usual indifferent facade until he's a puddle in your arms. he's not sure what love really is, if he's being honest. it's not something easily defined in a dictionary. words can’t describe the turmoil inside of him.

whatever it is, he's convinced himself that he's in love with you—that he always has been and he always will be. but everything he touches he sets ablaze. you're the last person he wants to be collateral damage. he's so fucking afraid that everything will be too real once he tells you those three words.

he's lived in reality his whole life. he wants to live in a dream for once. just this once, in your arms. and selfishly.

and you must know that, too, because despite making him dinner every night and sleeping in his bed even though your name is not on the lease, you've never told him you love him, either. but he can tell by the way your fingers brush his knuckles when he reaches out to hold your hand in the middle of the night. and when you kiss him it lingers for a moment longer than would leave him sane.

there are words unspoken with every action: i love you.

and when sae finally cracks, because every part of him has always been brittle, he loves you wholly. destructively. like a flame raging through a forest—bite marks and promises whispered into your skin. there are words buried beneath all that, as well:

i'm sorry. please be gentle with my heart. the world has not.

itoshi sae doesn't know how to be loved. every part of him is rough around the edges. but there's something beautiful in the way you love him without reason. in the way you're so patient when he shuts you out like a child slamming their door.

you were kinder than he could ever be. you had so much love to pour out that he envied it. he remembers growing up and thinking it was ridiculous. now some nights it's all he wants.

sae is unlovable. that's what the world had taught him. but for some reason, it never seems to stop you.

it's supposed to be a sunday night like any other. you're complaining to him about something silly called the "sunday scaries" and how you were currently being put through the ringer at work. it's an english phrase that gets a laugh out of you. he adores it. he adores you.

you're stirring a pot of curry while you speak. he's standing beside you watching. you aren't dressed even slightly, your hair is all over the place. and you're talking about something entirely stupid, putting a name to the feeling of not wanting to go to work tomorrow.

there it is again; the complicated swirling of emotions etched deep in his heart. you deserve something better. you deserve normalcy. and itoshi sae is anything but normal.

and accompanied with this thought, for the first time in his nearly twenty-four years as a mortal, the idea of silence is even more scary than snapping out of this daydream he's living in and saying—

"i love you."

you blink at him, pausing in your stirring. "what?"

"i love you," he says it again. you've always known how to read between the lines with him:

i'm offering all of myself to you and it's fucking terrifying. don't just look at me like that.

he reaches over to turn off the stove because you're staring at him with your mouth opening and closing. and then he rolls his eyes as if he didn't just do the one thing he feared most.

you're not sure how you get pressed up against the counter so fast, head tilted back as he greedily devours your skin like he usually does when he doesn't want to talk anymore. you definitely don't mind.

there's more to the story. more he wants to say. but he's not good with words—never has been. so he only kisses you until you're gasping for air and laughing. until his heart throbs where it sits in his ribcage. until you tell him:

"i love you, too."

i love you is not something simple for itoshi sae. but with you, he's willing to learn.

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 40]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.2K

Chapter warning(s): Heavy chapter. Confrontation and verbal argument from parent, parent threatening to hit child. Overall just confrontation of y/n's childhood so please exerise caution when you read as it can potentially be triggering.

Small time skip...

After another successful dinner service, you stood outside the back door, taking in the fresh air and grounding yourself. The chaos of the kitchen was left behind, allowing you to have some peace and quiet on your own. But you were glad the restaurant was doing really well.

"(y/n)." The voice that called you made your eyes shoot open. You lifted your head and jumped to your feet.

"D-Dad..." You stuttered nervously. Suddenly, you didn't feel like you were on top anymore. You felt like the scared little girl at the mercy of your fierce father.

"H-How did you know where I was?" You asked with a gulp.

"Is that even a question? You're my daughter, of course I know where you work." His eyebrows furrowed.

"Right, sorry. Umm, why did you come here? You could have called me to let me know you were coming or I would have met you outside of work." You fiddled with the edge of your shirt.

"Are you that busy that you need me to inform you prior that I want to meet you?" He asked.

"It's a busy day. I don't have time to just talk." You sighed.

"I am here to discuss with you... all this. (y/n), you don't belong as someone's employee, a cook nonethless. You have the opportunity to take over my company, you have the skills to do so and yet, you choose to be stubborn and rebel against the career course that has been set for you since birth." He cut to the chase.

"Wow, dad. It's the first time you've ever admitted that I have the skills to do anything." You knew that wasn't the main point of his speech but you'd take any win you can.

"(y/n). Be serious. It's been almost a year since you've worked here and there's no progression." He frowned.

"Why do you want me to take over the company so badly? That's the dream you've had for me but it's not my dream." You asked.

"I'd rather have you take over than some random stranger." He crossed his arms.

"You just want me to take over because you would never ask my stepbrother to do it. And also so you won't be embarrassed to tell your friends I am a chef." You pointed out.

"It doesn't matter, (y/n). I've let this go on for long enough. Stop playing and for once, be serious about your future." He lectured.

"You always think that I just treat this like a game. Don't you see dad? This is my life, all the effort, blood and sweat I've poured into this. Would I do that if I wasn't serious? You just refuse to see it." You shook your head.

"I've given you every opportunity to be the best and you choose to work in a kitchen? That's an embarrassment." He scolded.

"I know you're embarrassed of me. You always have been and always will. I'm your flesh and blood. Yet, you'll always think my stepbrother is better than me." You laughed bitterly.

"Because he has real goals and aspirations. He wants to make something of himself." Your dad reasoned.

"Right because anything I do will never match up to him."

"If you do something actually worthy of recognition and praise, of course I will praise you. But so far, you have done nothing worthy of my time." He said.

"I've cooked under some of the best chefs in the world, served the best dishes at some of the most prestigious events. But that's nothing, right? It's not worthy and it never will be." You sighed.

"It's a waste of time and potential." You dad replied.

"Uh, Seonghwa hyung?" Yeosang came to the front where everyone was having drinks and enjoying the air conditioning after being in the stuffy kitchen the whole night. He tapped the older on the shoulder and pointed to the counter. Seonghwa frowned in confusion but moved to speak privately with Yeosang.

"What is it that it must be said in private?" Seonghwa asked.

"I-I was in the locker room and I heard (y/n) outside. She's speaking to someone... I think it's her dad... I didn't mean to eavesdrop but it sounds bad..." Yeosang gulped.

"What?! Her dad is here?" Seonghwa said a little too loudly from the shock. Yunho definitely heard it.

"Thanks, Yeosang." Seonghwa put his drink down and went to the kitchen.

"Yeosang, what's going on?" Yunho asked when Yunho came back.

"Umm, (y/n)'s dad is here... Out back..." Hearing those words come out of his friend's mouth, Yunho was on his feet immediately, rushing to the back door.

"I didn't raise you to be like this." Yunho heard your father scold, making Yunho pause.

"Raise me? How can you say that? Did you raise me at all, dad? When mom got sick, you didn't even visit her and you cast me aside. And when she died, you acted like I died along with her. It's like I became nothing to you..." Tears slipped down your cheeks.

"Your mother always coddled you too much. You needed to grow up and be independent." Your father said.

"How old was I?! I was a kid, dad! It's bad enough I had to watch my mother slowly die. But you abandoned me too! I was alone, I mourned her alone." You yelled in frustration.

"What did you do? Nothing! Oh right, you went out and got married. Brought two strangers into our home." You laughed bitterly.

"They're not strangers. You've been childish and treating them like outsiders from the start." Your father corrected sternly.

"Sorry, I forgot. They're your family. But they're not mine and they will never be. You threw me away so you could start life anew. But what about me?" You asked.

"You still had a roof over your head, food to eat. I hardly think your life was bad." He scoffed.

"Did you even notice that I didn't come home? That I was out there, getting into all sorts of shit, making friends with strangers. I nearly killed myself. If not for Seonghwa, I wouldn't be alive now. But even if I were dead, I guess you wouldn't care, right?" Your words made Yunho's heart clench with pain.

"Let me ask you, dad. Were you even sad that mom died? Did you even love her? Or did you just wait for her to die so you could go find someone new?" You asked in a low voice.

"Why you-"

"Mr (y/l/n)!" Seonghwa yelled out, pulling you behind him in an attempt to shield you and protect you.

"That's enough." Yunho's eyes burned with rage as he held your father's wrist mid air. No one was going to hurt you.

"Don't you dare hurt her. Not on my watch." Yunho glared, seeing how broken you were, barely holding yourself up in Seonghwa's embrace. Your father looked at Yunho in disbelief.

"And who are you? This is none of your business. This is between family, you shouldn't meddle." Your father snatched his wrist away from Yunho's grasp and looked him up and down. Yunho towered over him, making him more intimidating.

"I haven't heard you refer to me as family for YEARS." You sneered at your father.

"If you must know, I'm her boyfriend. Another person that shows her love, care and concern." Yunho growled.

"Wait, you're the owner of this place, aren't you? You're dating the owner? That is highly inappropriate." Your father found another reason to berate you.

"Inappropriate? Inappropriate is you coming here and harrassing her." Yunho glared.

"I'm her father." Your father said.

"And I chased after her to be my girlfriend. Not that it matters. I treasure her for who she is, not like you, forcing her to be someone that she's not." Yunho said.

"Yun, stop. Just... go... dad... There's no way we'll ever mend this relationship. It was gone the moment mom got sick. Let's not kid ourselves. Just go and forget that you've ever had a daughter, okay?" You said, tears just falling down your cheeks.

"I've tried so hard, for so long, to be the person you want me to be. But I'm tired. I can't keep doing this." You shook your head.

"I'll have to ask you to leave the premises right now. You're upsetting my girlfriend." Yunho frowned.

"Fine. Have it your way, (y/n). But when all else fails, don't come crawling back to me and regretting what you've done. Don't forget, you asked for this." Your father said and stormed off.

"It's okay, sweetheart. It's over." Seonghwa hugged you, pulling you to his chest.

"Hwa." You sobbed loudly, letting out wails of despair. It broke Yunho's heart. He wished he could have prevented this from happening.

"My love, it'll be alright." Yunho took over, supporting you in his arms and giving you the tightest hug. Seonghwa continued to rub your back to soothe you.

Seonghwa had wanted to step in the moment he heard your father was here and confronting you. But from the conversation, Seonghwa knew that you needed this. This was the conversation you had been dreading and so afraid of. Finally setting yourself free from your father and the pressure he has put on you.

"Let's get you home." Yunho kissed your forehead.

"Take her home. I'll grab all your things and see you there." Seonghwa said. Yunho nodded and fished out his keys, escorting you to the car and driving off.

"Is (y/n) okay?" San asked worriedly. Wooyoung and Jongho knew Seonghwa's expression said it all.

"She will be. Don't worry." Seonghwa forced a smile, patting San on the shoulder.

"Yunho took her home. I'm just going to grab his things and meet him back at (y/n)'s place." He explained. Mingi helped gather Yunho's things and handed it to Seonghwa to take.

"Have a good night everyone." They wished each other. Only Jongho and Wooyoung lingered behind.

"How bad was it, really?" Jongho asked.

"Bad... But she needed it. I'll tell you guys more tomorrow. Let me get back to her. I'll update you guys on how she's doing." Seonghwa promised, knowing the two were just as worried about you.

Wooyoung hugged Seonghwa before they parted ways. Seonghwa drove his own car while Jongho and Wooyoung rode together. The moment Seonghwa arrived at your place, he went to check on you and saw you fast asleep on Yunho's chest.

"Hey. She was exhausted and fell asleep right after her shower." Yunho said, coming out of the room quietly.

"Thanks. Tonight was a lot, she's probably gonna sleep for a while." Seonghwa rubbed his forehead, the frown on his face evident of the stress he was feeling.

"Hyung... Maybe you should stay tonight. You've been around here longer than I have-"

"Yunho. I've told you, you're here for her too. She needs you as much as she needs me now." Seonghwa patted his shoulder.

"But I feel hopeless because I don't know how to comfort her now. I'm scared I might make the situation worse." Yunho frowned slightly. Seonghwa sighed, falling onto the couch.

"Yeah, all of us weren't prepared for that." He spoke.

"She's told me a lot about her dad a few times and from then, I knew I hated that man, even if I've never met him. But after tonight, it's not even hate anymore. It's beyond that... I..." Yunho was speechless. There was too many emotions in his head that it was a mess, he didn't know what to do.

"I get it. I was like that too when I first saw the real him and how he spoke to (y/n). But hopefully for (y/n), that's the last we'll see of him." Seonghwa shrugged.

"She deserves better than that. I've never seen her so broken before." Yunho shook his head.

"Hey, she'll be okay. I know it's a lot. Unfortunately, I've seen her go through worse." The older comforted with a sad smile.

"I know what you told me, hyung. But after all that you've been through together, I think she really needs you now. And in a way, I think you need her too..." Yunho said honestly.

"She won't make it to work tomorrow. I'll call some people in to help in the kitchen." Seonghwa said.

"Of course. Thanks, hyung." Yunho gave a small smile.

"No problem. I've got to shower first." Seonghwa stood up and went to the bathroom in the guestroom to shower before going to be with you.

Yunho wasn't jealous, not one bit. In fact, he was glad that Seonghwa could be there for you to lean on because he was lost on how to comfort you. He needed to ground himself, collect his emotions. This wasn't about him, this was about you.

"Ah..." Yunho threw his head back as tears of relief, frustration, anger and sadness rolled down his cheeks. But he was quick to wipe them away with his hands.

"Hey, Yunho. Sleep on the bed, I'll take the floor." Seonghwa said, coming out of the guest room while drying his hair.

"Oh, hyung I can't-"

"Just do it. She has a floor futon so don't worry, you're not making me sleep on the cold hard ground." Seonghwa rolled his eyes playfully. Yunho stood up and nodded.

After setting up his futon, Seonghwa stood over your sleeping form. He lifted your hand to kiss the back of it.

"You did it, sweetheart." He whispered. Yunho climbed back into bed and lifted you slightly so he could slide his arm under you.

"It'll be okay. You'll be okay." Yunho whispered against the crown of your head, closing his eyes as he let the even sounds of your breathing lull him to sleep.

It was about 4 am when you shot up from bed. You breathed heavily, leaning your head on your arm tiredly. Glancing back, you saw Yunho fast asleep. And on the ground beside you, Seonghwa was also sleeping. Just the two of them being there calmed your heart down and brought you comfort.

"So it wasn't a dream..." You said to yourself softly. Everything that happened with your dad, happened.

Asking your dad to forget about you was the hardest thing you've ever had to do. Well, other than burying your mother after she died. Not that you relied on him now.

But it meant that you were letting go of your hope for him. Your hope of you and him reconciling, going back to the way things were.

"Hey..." Seonghwa called out to you softly from his futon. You turned your head but it was dark, you couldn't really see him.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" You asked softly.

"No, you didn't. I've know you long enough to know that you wouldn't be able to sleep for long. Your brain is too active for you." He let out a soft chuckle.

"I feel exhausted. I wish I could turn my brain off, I don't know what I should be feeling now." You sighed.

"You don't have to feel anything, (y/n). You don't have to feel sad about it but at the same time, you don't have to feel liberated and relieved too. It's okay to just be numb after what happened." He reached out to hold your hand.

-

"Seonghwa hyung, maybe you should stay with her. We'll manage for the day." Yunho said as they two were grabbing their jackets to leave.

"Why don't you stay instead? The kitchen crew need me when our leader is down." Seonghwa suggested.

"Are you sure?" Yunho blinked.

"Yeah. Why not? Also, if she wakes up and finds out we gave her the day off, she loves you enough to not kill you. Maybe put you at the edge of death but not kill you." Seonghwa shrugged.

"That is... very reassuring." Yunho gulped. Whiskey let out a meow, nuzzling his body against Seonghwa's foot.

"How do you do it? Black cats just love you." Yunho chuckled.

"You just need to know how to care for them." Seonghwa laughed, getting the underlying meaning or joke behind Yunho's words. He bent down to stroke Whiskey's cheek with the back of his finger and the black cat just ate up all that attention, meowing loudly and licking Seonghwa's finger.

"If she doesn't kill you, let me know how she is. If she does... It was nice knowing you, Yunho." Seonghwa raised his eyebrows and grabbed his keys.

"You're more used to her abuse than I am. Maybe you should stay instead." Yunho said, trailing after him to the door.

"Doesn't mean I enjoy it..." The older pointed out, waving as he left the house.

"Maybe if I have you with me, your mom might inflict less violence on me." Yunho looked down at Whiskey, who blinked back at him and let out a yawn.

"Aww, Whiskey. That was mean. But let's get you some breakfast." He waved the cat over and prepared it's food.

"There." Yunho sat in front of Whiskey, watching him hungrily eat out of the bowl.

"Slow down. No one is going to take it away from you." He chuckled. Yunho hadn't noticed that you were awake, standing in the hallway quietly, watching him talk to Whiskey. It was like those videos of excited golden retrievers bothering their black cat sibling.

"Am I interrupting your bonding time?" You asked. Yunho's head shot to you and he smiled excitedly, stumbling on his feet as he made his way to you.

"Woah, slow down. Don't fall." You had a small smile as he wrapped his arms around you to hug you.

"Please don't kill me for giving you the day off." He mumbled.

"Is that really the first thing you're going to say to me? But you're lucky I'm too emotionally exhausted to be angry with you AND Hwa." You scoffed. Yunho pulled away slightly to look at you.

"I'm glad to hear that." He stroked your cheek, leaning down to plant his lips on yours.

"You should sleep more." He said.

"I don't have you or Hwa with me to lull me to sleep." You giggled. That's all he needed to hear before Yunho held your hand and led you back to bed. You laid your head on Yunho's chest as he stroked your head. Seonghwa was right, you could feel numb from last night and that's okay.

"I don't want to feel anything about last night. I just want to move on with my life like usual." You said honestly.

"Okay. Life as per normal." Yunho agreed. He wasn't going to force you to face your feelings or dig deep into the meaning and significance of what happened.

"Thank you, Yunho. Thank you for being there." You looked at him, tears in your eyes.

"Oh, my love. There's nothing to thank me for. No more tears, hmm?" He gently thumbed away the tears.

"I love you." You said, fingers playing with the ends of his fringe. Yunho was such a big part of your world now. Just like Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho were.

"I love you too." Yunho smiled, wrapping his arms around you to hold you tight. He was never going to let you go.

He couldn't protect you from the verbal abuse of your father last night from that point on, he'll continue to try his best to protect you and shield you from all the other negativities that will come your way. Never again does he want to see you crying and broken.

~

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[maple-the-awesome]

A Boy? ||

Pairing: Platonic! Matt Murdock x Reader x MCU! Peter Parker

Words: 3,416

Overview: Matt isn't sure what to think when you ask him to be your friend's lawyer; surprised someone's actually wormed their way into your heart or protective because it's a boy. This is honestly one of my favorite fics I've written in a while. Matt would definitely be able to multitask between being a really good lawyer and a protective dad 😍

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"I...need your help."

It's not unheard of for you to visit Matt at the firm every now and again, especially in recent months where you've almost become comfortable with the idea, so when he first recognized the pattern of your footsteps approaching the door, he thought nothing of it and instead prepared himself for one of your typical yet playful insults; the closest form of affection you've ever been know to show.

Even if taking a moment to consider the chance that you might be here to ask for something, he would've figured it to be something simple that comes with a stubborn bite to your words. Perhaps you lost your key to the apartment and have come to him for a spare or maybe you just need a few dollars to buy lunch. Aloud both outcomes do sound unlikely since Matt knows you're rather organized and calculated with your money after having a childhood of nothing, but he can't imagine any other reason you'd be requesting his help right now.

To his surprise, there's a noticeably quickened pace to your heartbeat and a quiet hesitation with your movements as you shut the office door behind yourself. You're afraid not embarrassed which isn't an emotion you don't often allow yourself to show and it's this awareness that raises concern in Matt.

Matt has known you for about two years now- seven years if you count the time passed during the Blip not that you were around for it-, but he'd be reluctant to say you're close, at least in a mutual sense.

You're dangerously headstrong, as he's learned, especially when it comes to your goal of being entirely self sufficient. You hate to admit weakness in any form, both physically and emotionally, thus you've developed the terrible habit of distancing yourself from others even if they have nothing except good intentions. While Matt can't justly critique you on a practice he himself is guilty of, he has tried his best throughout the years to earn your trust while reminding himself never to take your pushback personally.

You're rather young, only just hitting eighteen yet you've arguably been through more heartache than even he has which is certainly saying something. Orphaned then trained to basically act as a child soldier, it's safe to say you never had a normal childhood which ultimately influenced your personality and difficulty relating to others. When Matt- or better put Daredevil- first met you, you were barely more than a feisty teenager accustomed to only relying on yourself and living life at the mercy of none other than Wilson Fisk. You were cold just as those around you, but at the end of day, you were also just a shattered kid trying to survive; a little example of what's wrong with this cruel world.

You understandably hated Daredevil in the beginning, seeing him as the enemy you've been conditioned to destroy. You both had a few small run-ins with each other before one particular fight that ended with the building exploding. All you can really remember of that night was being alone and heavily injured within the flames, your 'friends' having long saved their own asses by willingly leaving you behind to choke on hazardous smoke. Next thing you knew, you awoke in Daredevil's dark apartment, the man in question explaining the situation after calmly stopping you from attempting to stab him with the pair of scissors left on the table.

Even though you had run right back to Fisk by sunrise, Matt knew there must be promise in you since you never sold out his location and his faith would prove true when he slowly yet surely managed to gain enough of your trust to help you believe in his word that he'd take down Fisk in turn for your cooperation. He kept that word, too, freeing you from the chains that held you down to a life of crime, however the scars that remained took far longer to even begin the process of healing.

Matt generously took you in, although you still struggled with plenty of old habits, the worst being stealing and getting into fights on the street. Whenever he'd confront you on it, a heated argument would ensue until you'd eventually run off, forcing Matt to go out looking for you upon your refusal to return home on your own. There were also the nightmares that plagued your sleep each night, often frightening Matt when he'd be out as Daredevil only to hear your blood curdling screams from back at the apartment, but you've always refused to share those inner demons even now.

Matt must admit that those early days truly tested him. He hated himself for thinking it, but at times he'd wonder if you both wouldn't have been better off if he hadn't nudged his way into your life to begin with. Before you, he was a single man who couldn't even keep a girlfriend and had not an ounce of experience being any sort of role model or father figure. Maybe the words you tended to scream at him were right. You don't need him, after all, he's just as broken as you; two brokens can't possibly make a right, can they?

Fortunately despite his insecurities and worries, it got easier. He had the constant support of Foggy and Karen while Father Lantom provided religious reminders as guidance. Overtime, your behavior shifted even if slowly. You learned that the apartment is a safe place and that there's always food in the fridge, so no need to steal. As you bonded more, Matt taught you to meditate to better control your emotions which also seemed to help smooth your nightmares. You even began feeling comfortable while in the presence of his friends which was a huge step forward.

Ultimately, Matt's proud of you and everything you've managed to overcome. Of course, it's not to say rough spots don't still present themselves, in fact the Blip itself has backtracked your progress slightly, although no one can blame you for that. You were terrified to learn you had disappeared for five years, the only good coming out of that entire situation being the realization that your dusting had destroyed Matt. Foggy explained that to you one day when Matt wasn't at the firm during your visit. According to him, his friend barely ate or slept, blaming himself for not somehow protecting you as he promised even if it really was out of his hands. It was this knowledge that made you feel loved for the first time in your life and you've since allowed yourself to finally trust Matt's care towards you (not that you've ever found a way to tell him that yet).

While you can't seem to find the words to express your affection towards the only parent figure you've ever known, you've decided to go to him for help towards your current dilemma which is the reason for your visit today, but irritatingly despite your trust, you find yourself nervous, your past habits betraying you with the fear that perhaps there's a ever so small possibly Matt will turn you away.

"What's up?" He raises an eyebrow, sensing your nerves which confuse him. He's certain he would've heard by now if Fisk is out of jail and there's no way you'd let anyone else on the street push you around. Maybe it's school? You don't tell him anything about school other than confirming your grades are good, so he'd be a little surprised if you ask for help studying, but he would hope you know he'll be happy to help if it's that.

You're chewing on your lip, debating if you should continue with your request. You truly thought you'd have no problem coming to him anymore and you know he's a good guy who can help, after all he's already done so much for you by taking you under his wing. Still, what if he gets mad because he has done enough for you and you have no right asking for more?

"What's wrong?" Matt changes his question, his voice softer now as he finally sets down his papers. He's growing more concerned, although he fights not to show it in case the emotion might scare you away.

"Okay, so um...There's...This boy..."

His face scrunches, but he's not sure why. One side of him wants to immediately direct you towards Karen, insisting she'd be a much better option for that type of advice than himself, however the other louder side feels a curd of anger inside his stomach, wanting to press on about why you're mentioning 'a boy'. 

What boy? Do you have a boyfriend? When did that happen? Yes, you're eighteen which many would argue is old enough to date, but it doesn't feel like it. You should at least be thirty before you date, right?

"A boy...?"

"Yeah- from school," that was a lie; a blatant one at that. You must've met him somewhere. Where? You refuse to say," he's not actually just any boy. He's...Well, he's my friend-"

Matt blinks, certain this is the first time he's ever heard you use the word 'friend' before. This 'boy' must really be something special to have you use such an intimate term towards him.

"-And he's run into some legal trouble recently."

Now Matt's lips are curled into a scowl he can't hide as he leans back in his chair with crossed arms. Oh no. A boy involved in legal trouble is not the type to be involved with you. Sure, you've had a lengthy criminal record yourself, but you weren't ever charged and are, what Matt would call, a victim. You're a good kid now even if you could still kick someone's teeth in if desired. No law breaking boy needs to be getting mixed up with you!

"What kind of 'legal trouble'?" His question is a little too stern not that he notices much, instead keeping his covered eyes directed to where he hears you standing. If he had a clear mind, he might've regretted that forceful tone once you begin fidgeting with your hands.

"He...Have you heard the news lately?"

So, this guy has gotten himself in enough trouble to be on the news? This conversation isn't going in a direction Matt likes," I have, but you'll have to be more specific. The news covers a lot of criminal activity."

"I wouldn't go as far as to call him a 'criminal'. He's innocent, he's just gotten the short end of the stick is all-"

"-And did he tell you that?"

"No- Well yeah, but I knew it already! I mean it when I say he's a really good guy, Matt. Like amazingly good; almost too good to be true, but he is! He'd do anything to protect this city because he's just that caring and sweet. He's...Well, he's, um..." Matt raises an eyebrow as you trail off, although he pays more attention to the way your body heats up and your heartbeat accelerates. 

Oh...

Oh...

Now Matt has a true dilemma on his hands. Until now, you've never mentioned having a single friend before, so one side of him wants to be happy with the knowledge that you, the most stubborn and distant person to exist on planet Earth (aside from maybe Frank), have fallen in love. Maybe it's not the most comfortable discussion and he can't deny he'd worry regardless of the circumstances, but if it's something that allows you to feel normal for once, then that's excellent. The only problem is he can't say he agrees with your criminal type. Why can't you be interested in someone law abiding?

Fiddling with your fingers, you miss Matt's silence as a sign of conflict and instead take it as him waiting for you to get to the point, thus you do with a quiet, meek voice,"...and he's kinda Spiderman..."

Matt blinks, caught off guard by your confession which had almost been muted by his inner thoughts," Spiderman...? The vigilante from Queens?"

You nod," I guess there's no harm in telling you his name's Peter Parker since the whole world already knows that now...Anyways I met him a while ago and we became friends, but...Well, you've heard what the news is trying to say about him, right? His identity got leaked and now they're trying to pin him as some sort of killer, but he isn't- I know he isn't. Peter's like you. He'd never kill anyone even if they're some crazed villain the streets would be safer without. I mean, you can tell he didn't do it just by how upset he is over all this!

"They're trying to ruin his life- not only his life, but also his friends' and aunt's...They won't let off and he doesn't deserve it. He needs a lawyer-a really good one at that. I thought that maybe...Maybe you could help him out, ya' know? You said us vigilantes have to look out for one another, right? So, could you help Spiderman? E-Even if just as one last favor for me? I swear I won't ask for anything else just...Can you please help him, Matt? Please..."

There's tears in your eyes at this point which is a rare occurrence usually only found on nights of particularly bad nightmares. This is one of those moments where it's clear you're only a kid. Standing in front of his desk, you keep your head bowed and hands clenched to the bottom of your shirt as you stubbornly fight to not get emotional, a fight nearly lost by that sniffle of your nose. Even after your nightmares or back before Matt saved you from Fisk, you've never been this scared. Of course, there's a clear difference from then and now.

This Peter Parker must really be something special. He must be able to bring a smile to your face by his presences alone, drawing hours of laughter from you over countless dumb jokes or helping you let loose by inviting you out with him and his friends, maybe even for movie nights at his apartment which might explain those few days over the last month where you didn't return home until after midnight.

Those nights he must listen to your worries, being the only person trusted with the details of your nightmares as he cuddles you close and promises to never let anyone hurt you again. He must make you feel like a giddy teenager, an experience that had once been stolen from you by people like Fisk. Around Peter, you aren't a child soldier or a dangerous killer or even a broken soul; you're (Y/n) (L/n), just a normal girl who'd do anything to protect the most precious thing she has to hold.

It takes you by surprise when Matt stands up suddenly, taking his cane from where it had been folded on the table and clicking it into place with a 'snap'," do you know his address?"

"H-Huh?"

"I'm assuming you know where Parker lives, correct? There's a lot to discuss if I'm going to help him with his legal troubles so it's best we get started immediately. Isn't that what you want?" Matt has a faint hint of a smirk pulling at his lips as he walks past you to the door, only stopping with his hand upon the doorknob.

Your eyes follow him, the wheels inside your head turning as you process his words. Soon, you're beaming, a noticeable uplift to your voice with relieved tears being blinked back in your eyes," thank you, Matt!"

"Take a seat, Mr. Parker."

When Matt had announced the charges against Peter won't stick, the teen had been endlessly thankful. Between you finding him a good lawyer that didn't dent his pockets and said lawyer being able to remove his legal troubles, he's been giddy with relief and saw no issue with Matt's request to speak with him privately before his departure, after all, it's the least he can do for someone who's already helped him so much during his greatest time of need.

Even after being told to sit back down, Peter does so with a unfazed smile on his face," is there something else I need to be worried about? You said the charges aren't going to stick, so I should be good, yeah?" 

"Oh, I don't want to talk to you about anything related to the court."

Now Peter blinks in confusion, his smile taking a hit," oh?"

"I want to talk to you about (Y/n)."

"O-Oh..." Peter's confusion turns into a fiery blush, one that makes Matt's own face twist into a look of disgust he fights to hide.

"How long have you known her?"

"Um, about a year I think- Well, actually, I guess it's technically been about five years since we met before the Snap but-"

"-And has she told you about her past working for Wilson Fisk?"

Peter's heart noticeably skips a beat as he looks to Matt with wide eyes. His mouth opens in preparation to lie to his lawyer for the first time, denying that you'd ever work for Fisk because you definitely aren't some teenage vigilante he's been fighting alongside as Spiderman since the last year, however after giving his response some thought and studying Matt's careful expression, he decides to just be truthful.

"Yeah...Yeah, she has."

"Then you must understand how difficult it's been for her to trust other people after everything she's been through. I must admit I was surprised when she first brought you up. She was very adamant that I act as your lawyer and since then she's spent nearly every day asking about you. She's clearly extremely fond of you."

It probably isn't the best time for it, but a bashful smile crosses Peter's face, his gaze falling to his hands as he dwells on Matt's words. You? Fond of him? That's not allowed, is it? 

Of course, Peter's always had eyes for you. Ned and MJ tease him about it all the time. Hell, it's why Spiderman even decided to approach you in the first place. He had been utterly starstruck to watch some super hot vigilante swoop in out of nowhere and apprehend a pair of criminals before he could. In awe, he just had to walk up to you and give some incredibly lame joke that successfully resulted in you giving a goddess's laugh that numbed his heart. Since then, Peter made sure to become your friend (and biggest admirer), so to think you might actually be fond of him, too? Well, he could never be luckier!

"With that said, I wanted to thank you, Peter," the young hero is taken back by Matt's sudden words of gratitude," you make her happy; happier than anyone else has managed. Hearing her talk about you is the first time I've heard her sound like a normal teen, and if you were to ask her out, I'm certain she'd agree. I'll even give you my blessing to do so."

"A-Ah! Thank...Thank you, sir!"

"But-" Matt adjusts his glasses before suddenly leaning forward, his hands cupped together as a shadow crosses over his expression,"- just know, that if you ever do anything to break my daughter's heart, I'll personally ensure you deal with the Devil."

The breath in Peter's throat catches, his mouth opening and closing a few times in attempts to grasp onto some quick response which he's normally talented in delivering, but alas, nothing comes. Spiderman really shouldn't have to fear a blind man, but there's something about Matt's tone that sinks into his bones as a frigid warning that begs him to be smart, not dismissive.

Grabbing his cane, the lawyer calmly stands and walks past Peter, only stopping to pat a stern hand on his shoulder," good talk, Spidy."

It's cruel; the way Matt leaves behind a shocked Peter Parker while wearing a smug smirk of his own. He's not even guilty in the slightest, shown by the way he doesn't even care to rid of his expression when noticing you leaned against the wall outside the apartment door with crossed arms. He assumes by the harshness to your voice that your eyebrows are pinched downwards as you glare his way- a glare he's too familiar with feeling at this point to be bothered.

"Are you serious?"

"What?" He gives a mocked look of innocents that you refuse to buy.

Instead, you suck in a breath, fighting to ignore both your burning cheeks along with your irritation towards the lawyer and his poor attempt at playing dumb. Marching on by, you purposely bump into his shoulder, hissing under your breath,"...that wasn't cool, dad..."

[homelanderbutbig]

What Heaven Feels Like (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1158 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You share some morning cuddles. Inspired by this ask.

It took quite a bit of convincing to get to this point with Homelander. Although he would chain himself together with you if it was possible, he was not shy to express his concerns about you moving into his penthouse. He was terrified about sleeping in the same bed with you, as he had never spent the night with anyone before. Even when he was in a relationship with Maeve, she always made it perfectly clear to him that she would be sleeping in her own apartment.

Because of his size and strength, it petrified him to think he might injure you during the night. His heightened senses make him a light sleeper, waking up at the slightest noise, but he still found himself unable to permit even the smallest of chances that he might roll over into you without noticing before it's too late.

And yet, despite his fears, Homelander still found himself yearning for that connection with you. The normalcy that couples get to engage in, waking up to the sight of your loved one, is something he has never been able to experience. And you're the only one he'd ever want to share such an intimate moment with.

Luckily, with some delicate discussion, you two were able to come to an agreement over your sleeping arrangements. Because his bed is practically two king sizes in length and width, it leaves you plenty of room to sleep together but with a barrier of a couple feet in between your bodies.

You aren't sure how you managed, but somehow you've woken up before Homelander. Maybe it's because he's used to the blaring sunlight creeping through his penthouse windows as dawn approaches, but you can't fight against the brightness flooding your senses. However, your displeasure at having to wake up so early doesn't last long, when you get look at Homelander sound asleep.

It's an incredible juxtaposition to how everybody else sees him. He is the world's most powerful supe, standing eight feet tall with an inhumanly formidable physique to match his intimidating height. Everyone around him cowers in fear of his mental instability, which was forced onto him from a childhood he never asked for. All of the burdens he carries in secret, constantly weighing heavily in the back of his mind as he navigates his pain alone.

And then, there's what you are observing in front of you. There is no creases on Homelander's forehead, no tension in his jaw, no twitching of his eyes, no furrowing of his brows from stress. His face is so perfectly content, so innocent. It really reminds you of the little boy he hides inside, shielding him from the evils of the outside world. But you can always tell when his inner child is looking back at you through his eyes, when he allows himself to be vulnerable with you. How tender his expression becomes when he trusts you, to let you take his pain away. When he lets himself be loved.

You regret not bringing your phone with you before you went to bed. There's nothing more that you want right now than to take a photo of how peaceful he looks in this moment.

Carefully, you reach over to hold onto his big hand that is outstretched near you, gently massaging it with the hopes of coaxing Homelander out of his slumber. As expected, he stirs immediately from feeling your touch, letting out a soft breath. His eyes slowly flutter open as he wakes, and quickly focus on you.

You can see him cycle through his emotions as he attempts to process what is happening right now. At first he is confused seeing you in bed with him, then he remembers what you both agreed to last night, then he is scared that he might have hurt you, and then he is relieved at learning you are fine from a quick scan with his X-ray vision. And finally, a restful smile spreads across his face when he lets himself unwind, taking in the sight of you.

He didn't kill you in his sleep. You made it, you survived.

"Morning, big guy," you hum, giving his index and middle finger a firm squeeze. Just those two fingers alone are the same width as your own hand, fitting snugly into your palm.

"Morning," he croons in return, his voice a bit more deep and gravelly than usual as he starts to fully wake up. His grin grows wider until his fangs are on display, sparkling at your greeting.

Homelander nudges his body closer to you, burying his face into your chest. His massive arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in as tightly as he can without breaking you in half.

This is the first time you've ever been held by him where you've not felt the familiar cushioned texture of his suit. The Compound V coursing through his veins has left his skin essentially impenetrable, free of any scars or unsightly faults. It feels like you are being cuddled by a living marble statue, with his smooth skin polished to perfection.

You swaddle his large head in your arms as he takes in a deep breath through his nose, getting himself immersed in your scent. You've never understood this fascination he has with how you smell, but then again you don't have superpowers or his elevated senses. Whatever it is about you, it is intoxicating to him. He can never seem to get enough.

"Have I ever told you how cute you are?" you question lightheartedly, smiling while you swirl your fingers through his not-yet-styled hair.

"I'm not cute," he huffs, angling his head to look up at you. "I'm the Homelander. I'm the strongest man in the world." He's doing his best to be stern, but his eyes betray him, shining brightly from his genuine happiness.

"You can be both you know," you retort, chuckling at his response. You start lightly scratching his scalp, getting a prompt reaction from him as he nuzzles himself back into your chest.

"Hmmm…" he mewls under his breath, closing his eyes while he melts completely into your body. "Maybe… just for you."

"Don't worry, I'll keep your secret safe," you playfully promise, giving him a kiss on his head as you continue running your nails through his hair.

Every stroke of your exquisite fingers softens him further, until he feels himself dissolve into a puddle. This must be what heaven feels like. The rest of the world doesn't matter to him anymore. He can't believe he was so worried about sharing his bed, and depriving himself of these mornings with you.

Homelander ends up being quite late for his morning meeting, struggling to eventually break free from your blissful snuggle session. But as painful as it was to get out of bed, he takes solace in knowing he gets to do it all over again with you, every morning from now on.

[exocynraku]

13 + warrior cats for the ask game!!

13: worst blorbofication not sure if this question is asking for the worst of the fandoms blorbofication or MY worst blorboficaiton but i'm going to go with mine and its . brokenstar . hes one of the Worst-er villains in the series imo because of his whole sending children to war thing but there's something about that and his whole character thats just so interesting to me you don't know who your mom is, your adopted mom doesn't really care about you, your dad is part kittypet which means you are as well which is supposedly 'bad'. you are labelled as 'broken' even as a child. your siblings, who potentially could've been the two to save you from your future fate are dead, killed as a punishment from starclan. starclan killed them. starclan must want you dead aswell. you spend your entire childhood. you want to prove yourself to starclan, you want to prove yourself to your mysterious mother, and so you want to be strong. you want to be as strong as possible, and work your way up the ranks-- but your mentor is too 'weak' and 'pathetic' to train you, so you go to your father, the only cat you have now for training instead. your father becomes leader, with the weak little white cat as deputy. he dies, and then it's the flirty fox's turn, the one distracting your father. distracting him from training you. she dies, and then finally, it's your turn. but this isn't what you want. you want to lead, you don't want to be led. and how long it is going to take for your father to die? and what do you owe to him, why should you serve him like a pet at all? he may have trained you, but it's the least he could've done. he didn't take care of you when you were a kitten or tell you about your mother or anything like that! so you kill him, because YOU want to be the strongest and now you are. you have so, so much power. and you see starclan. you see the ones who wanted you dead, suddenly congratulating you for what you've done. and it feels good. you've proven yourself to them. though, something's happening. new kits are being born. they're playing in camp, smiling and giggling. you never did that. when was the last time you smiled? their mothers love them. yours never did. if you were never allowed to be happy, then why should they? so you train them, and maybe there's a few.... casualties... along a the way, but now they're just as strong as you are! and the weak, the old decrepit weak, just like your old mentor. why should they stay here? they never did anything for you, just as your mentor did. so you exile them. and now you are even stronger. though, there's someone getting in the way. the medicine cat. who you look... oddly similar to. but that doesn't matter. you pin a murder on her, and have her exiled. and now all of your problems are fine, yes? for a little bit, maybe, but then you go and try to attack thunderclan, and-- oh. it's that medicine cat you exiled. your surprise holds you back, allowing her the chance to, in one swipe, strip everything and anything away from you. it's quiet now. a dreary old den you lay in, guarded by cats you've never met. the wretched smell of thunderclan coats your nose. the medicine cats comes and sits with you. she feeds you something, they don't taste very good. you start to feel weaker. this isn't what you want. you want to be strong. you start to go numb, feel smaller than you were. but this isn't what you want. none of this is what you want. why can't you just what what you want? your life is being stripped from you. that's not how this was supposed to be. you were supposed to be leader, forever. leader, forever? that's a childs fantasy.

[numinously-yours]

Pick a crystal: Messages from your inner child

I've been doing a lot of my own inner child work lately and really felt called to channel all of (well, as many of) yours as I could. This reading is looking at:

What did you need as a child?

How is your inner child now?

What do they want you to work on next?

I also gauged the time of your childhood that I think these feels really became a part of you - but the ranges are large and don't necessarily mean it's not for you!

Choose a crystal and see below the cut for your reading

Pile one, stability is the world I would use to describe what you needed as a kid. It feels like every time you ALMOST felt settled, your caretaker would get too scared to commit and you were off to the next place. You never got the chance to really make connection. Yeah, you've always had friends but you never had that connection that really showed you what friendship was. I'm here to tell you that all of the people you were worried about liking you are thankful you were a part of their lives, no matter the length of time.

I REALLY hope my intuition is correct about how your inner child is feeling right now. It is beautiful energy. It's either a relatively recent happening or it's happening very soon, but your sense of emotional fulfillment is so strong. Since this time in your childhood, you have finally started to understand what unconditional love feels like. I want to cry, pile 1! There is a huge sense of relief coming over me. You're realizing that it doesn't matter how long you've been somewhere, as long as you are your authentic self and you allow others to be their authentic selves, that is all you need space for.

What your inner child wants you to work on next is believing that others know this too! In your heart of heart, you know it's true. But you wonder if you're being an imposter of your own self. Are you making up that this is the truth?! Nope. This is only your ego talking. It's trying to protect you, but you don't need it this time around. Take your time learning this, remembering this, and giving yourself grace when you forget it. It will come back easier each and every time.

Pile two, I don't think you were allowed to actually be a child when you were a kid. It's not that you weren't able to have fun, but I think your parental unit guilt tripped you a lot and sometimes made you the parent. You may have heard phrases like "You don't appreciate what I do for you", "I'm a terrible mother/father/etc", "You'll never be able to make it on your own." It can be any parental figure, but I am feeling strong feminine energy. This person wasn't like this ALL the time,. In fact, you have a lot of fun memories from your childhood. You don't think your childhood was bad by any means, but you wish it didn't still affect you like it does.

I absolutely believe that you've grown a lot. I think this person still does this and, while it doesn't always get to you, every once and awhile you feel really let down. You may be having some trouble trusting your instincts, lately. You're wondering if you're saying "yes" to the people you love because you WANT to or if it's because you're going back to your old ways? Your inner child wants you to know that you're allowed to trust your gut. You will know when you're doing something for yourself versus for other people.

What your inner child may need now is the chance to grow on their own, without the influence of this person. It might be time to take a brief separation from this person if possible. It will be difficult, and you may need to grieve, but I think the grief is really toward letting your childhood hopes go versus feeling badly about hurting this person. I'm sorry you have to worry about this step, but it's so going to be worth it.

As a child, pile three, I think you have to leave someone you love and, even if you didn't have control over the situation, ou still feel guilty. For some of you, you feel like an outcome would be different if you never left. For others, you haven't had much contact with this person since leaving and you feel like it's something you did that didn't make you "worthy" of being reached out to.

Right now, your inner child knows you're putting in the work to heal this wound. I'm proud of you! Sometimes, though, when you feel yourself feeling unworthy, you can tend to be hard on yourself. "I know the cause of this feeling, so why can't I just get rid of it??" But you are doing a GREAT job of being patient with yourself. You're taking initiative in your own healing. You are continually finding new ways to take care of yourself. You are confident that there is always a way to make it through.

Next up on your healing journey is letting others help you, too. I think you are afraid that if you let someone get close that you'll just end up leaving them again OR that if you get to vulnerable you'll see why the person above never reached out to you, and anyone you let in is bound to leave you instead. Your inner child knows exactly what you've been working on and wants you to know that this work has made you strong enough to let someone else in.

Hey pile four. First, I wanted to make note that this is the only pile I felt like I was really talking TO your inner child versus asking the universe for information. While shuffling for the first question, I said "you're can tell me" ; while shuffling for the last question, I said "you're allowed to work on yourself, babe." I think things are feeling tough right now for you and your inner child and I hope this reading helps brings some insights.

First, something you needed as a child was someone to commit to you. You may be a child of divorce who split time between your parents' houses and there were multiple times where one of the parents didn't take you for their assigned times. If your parents/parental figures were together, it seemed like they could commit to everything else, but not you. They could commit to work and they could commit to other relationships, but never showed up for you. All you wanted was the adults in your life to just BE there.

At this point in time, you seem to be indulging in the needs of your ego. In an effort (conscious or not) to not worry about your traumas, you push your sad/angry/disappointed feelings into the shadows. What your doing seems like it should be fun, but are you actually enjoying yourself? Your inner child is telling you that you're holding back in an effort to protect yourself and it's time to think about what you REALLY need to help you feel better.

Pile four, you deserved to be loved the way you needed and I'm sorry that you didn't get that. But, it's not too late to love yourself this way. Be gentle with yourself when you start your new phase of healing. You have the capabilities to see beauty in the drabbest of places and you'll find the beauty in this, too. It isn't going to be easy, but damnit, if little you doesn't deserve this healing <3

[linawritestwst]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ♡ Yeah the requests are open ♡ ! I can request headcanons from Diasonmia Boys x (Fem) Reader, where her cell phone from her other world was fixed (thanks to Idia) and in her photo gallery she has adorable photos of her as a baby ? >///< (I imagine all of them dying of cuteness)˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ (Take your time to do it, without pressure ✎◛♡)

diasomnia reacting to your baby photos headcanons (fem!reader)

my first post of 2023, yay! \ (^o^) /

malleus draconia.

♡ malleus didn't want to admit it, but he was curious to see just what you could possibly have on that phone of yours. idia was able to fix the phone you brought from your world and now you could use it in twisted wonderland as well and you had quite a lot of interesting things to show to your friends and, of course, your boyfriend. it was hard for malleus to hide his excitement when you showed him the photos of yourself you had saved in your gallery. you look so?? beautiful?? you look even better in real life, but there's just something about these photos that makes him feel warm. like, here you are, hanging out with your friends and laughing and on this photo you're celebrating your birthday with your family.

♡ but then.. "oh, sorry, please ignore this one-" malleus couldn't ignore it at all and he noticed that some photos of you looked very different from those you showed to him. it's like you looked.. younger on them? wait, you do look younger here! you look so little?? so tiny?? malleus just realized that he never really thought about your childhood that much and even though it sounds dumb, he kinda.. you know, forgot that you also were a child in the past, just like he was. y/n, please forgive him, but he has to see those photos. he's sure you look adorable on them, there's no need to be shy, he did some.. very embarrassing things when he was a child as well. lilia has most likely told you everything about it, he started sharing even more stories about malleus's childhood when you started dating him.

♡ "fine, but only you're allowed to see them, okay?" oh, trust him, he won't let anyone else see those photos. you smile shyly and show him those baby photos you had in your gallery. and- OH SEVENS YOU REALLY ARE ADORABLE. malleus finds it cute that your smile has never changed no matter how many years passed. and he's glad that based on these photos, you had a nice and fun childhood. and yes, of course, there are some photos that you would rather not let malleus see and you try to explain everything to him by saying that your mom sent them to you and you forgot to delete them and- hey, did he just laugh?? that's it, you're going to remind him about all the stories lilia has told you.

lilia vanrouge.

♡ if malleus would have at least some kind of shame, like he would be a bit shy about asking you to show him your photos, this guy doesn't even ask your permission. you're just sitting here, scrolling through your photo gallery and lilia appears right when you least expect it. "oh, you have some very nice photos here, y/n~" you jump and almost drop your phone that just got fixed. even though you've been dating lilia for some time, you still can't get used to his sudden appearances. but oh well, at least he finds it funny and enjoys seeing your reaction- wait, that doesn't make it any better at all! and how many photos did he see while you were sitting here and not noticing him?..

♡ so you're still scrolling through your photo gallery, but now your boyfriend is sitting right next to you while resting his head on your shoulder. yes, he can see all these photos perfectly now. you can't even try to hide any of them, he will see it anyway. but hey, you don't mind showing him most of those photos. his reactions are very cute too and you can't help but blush when he compliments you and says you look beautiful on all of them. "hm? and what do we have here?" what is he talking about? you don't like that tone of his, he probably saw one of those embarrassing pics- oh. oh, he saw your baby photos. oh no.

♡ yes, this guy is still able to convince you to show him those photos because.. because he's just that cute. yeah. it sounds pathetic, you know. and now he's here, smiling and pointing at your phone screen, saying that you were such a sweet little girl and you look so adorable, he wants to squish your cheeks. wait, he can do it right now too! even though you're not so little anymore, haha. still adorable though. lilia successfully manages to distract you with his compliments and moves on to more funny and embarrassing pics while you try to take your phone back. come on, let him have some fun! and even though at first it does look like he just wants to mess with you, lilia actually finds all parts of you so interesting, he has to know more. and guess what? he will still love you, no matter what he finds out about you.

silver.

♡ the most respectful boy!! he didn't even think much about the things you could have on your phone. it doesn't mean that he's not interested, he just thinks that if you want him to see something, you will show it to him eventually. and if you don't want to show it to him, then why should he force you to do it? but he's very happy to hear that you actually do have some photos to show him and he makes sure not to miss anything. he listens to every word you say and he looks at every photo like it was some kind of a great painting, you're just that important to him. feel free to poke his cheek whenever he accidentally starts falling asleep, he never does it on purpose, he swears that he really does want to know more about you and he's paying attention.

♡ when you accidentally show him a picture of you as a child, he does get surprised for a second, but doesn't ask any questions when he notices that you're not comfortable with him seeing it. it's fine, everyone has something they don't want others to know about, even if it's not that serious. but to be honest, a little part of you wants silver to see those photos. maybe he will find them cute or funny, you don't know, but you feel like he has the right to see them. you trust him and you know that silver will never judge you, especially for something so silly. so you take a deep breath and show him those photos while hoping that he doesn't notice how red your face is.

♡ it takes a second for silver to realize what he's looking at right now. this is you when you were little. he's looking at your childhood photos. he feels honored, he's glad that you trust him so much that you don't mind him seeing them. he's very quiet and it's hard to guess what he's thinking right now, but you can see a little smile on his face. you feel more relaxed now and you start telling him all the childhood stories that you can remember and he still listens to you and he even laughs a bit at some of them. no, no, he's not laughing at you, he's just.. it just feels nice to learn something new about you. huh? what do you mean, you want him to tell you about his childhood too? well, uh.. let's save it for another day, okay?

sebek zigvolt.

♡ he's totally not interested in seeing what you have on your phone. totally. he acts like it's not a big deal when he hears that idia fixed your phone, but it's obvious that he wants to know more and he's not good at hiding his interest. so you decide to tease him a bit. "oh well, it's a shame that you don't want to see those photos. i even have a picture that i took with malleus-" ah, it worked. you try so hard not to laugh, because you never took any pictures with malleus, at least not with this phone. you don't want to disappoint your sweet but a bit stupid (affectionate) boyfriend, but you will have to tell him the truth eventually.

♡ yes, he is disappointed at first, but as you show him more and more pictures, he kinda forgets about that photo with malleus. he's so focused on learning more about you and he really does listen to your stories, you can't help but smile. you end up getting distracted and you accidentally show him a photo of you as a baby and he does notice it. you try to quickly show him a different photo, even though you know it's too late. "okay, so this is a photo of my- huh? what do you mean, sebek? you.. you don't know who that child is?" OH SO HE DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU. you try to stay calm, but you end up laughing so hard, sebek has no idea what's going on. of course, you can understand his reaction, you changed quite a lot since that time.. but still, this guy really didn't recognize his own girlfriend!

♡ you explain to him that this child is you when you were younger and sebek's reaction is just "oh". he tries to hide his embarrassment and he says that you just look very differently now and you agree with him, but you find this situation too hilarious. like wow.. okay, this man didn't recognize you, that's it, you're breaking up, you're packing your bags and leaving. you make sure to tell him that you're just joking though, because he can and will take it too seriously. you show him some other childhood photos and he actually starts to see the similarities. even though you look a bit different now, you still have the same smile, the same energy, the same curiousity in your eyes. some of your poses on those photos are even similar to your recent photos! that's.. that's kind of cute, actually. he never says it out loud though. wait, so what about that picture you took with malleus?

[miabebe]

Christmas With Seventeen

Scenarios of what I think Christmas season will be like with the Seventeen members :)

A/n - this is my first time writing fluff, I don't do fluff, like ever. Guess I'm in a mood this holiday season. Mild suggestive if you squint hehe. It's not proof read, specially since I'm a day late with this lol, will fix the tenses and mistakes later, sorry!

Seungcheol - Christmas Homebody

Seungcheol absolutely loves Christmas. He would be so excited the days leading up to it. He loves accompanying you to shop for decorations (of course he makes sure to pay for every last thing). He loves noticing even the small things you look and smile at so he can buy and gift them to you (the man truly spoils you). He loves watching you decorate the Christmas tree and loves it even more when you ask him to help put the ornaments up where you can't reach.

But the colder it gets, he turns into a homebody, preferring to stay in rather than going out, like he promised he would this year. As compensation, he obediently sits and binge watches your favourite rom coms (that he too obviously loves and secretly cries through). What he loves most is when the two of you cuddle under the sheets by the fire place, in a way that allows him to place soft kisses behind you ear time and again. This was all he ever wanted.

Jeonghan- Christmas Adventurer 

Jeonghan hates the winter cause the cold is truly not his best ally but when it comes to an adventure, he's always down. Jeonghan loves making precious memories so taking you to the skii cabin that he used to go to as a child is just another way for him to make a great memory even better. (Plus, he'd also get to show off his mad skills on the slopes). That being said, the man still hates the cold so do expect the mornings to start with a lot of never ending whining of wanting to stay in bed, wrapped up with you.

Once you manage to drag him out though, drowning him in thick layers of clothes, he's unstoppable and a totally different man - excited, mischievous, hurling snowballs at you, tackling you into a snow fight filled with kisses and giggles. In the evening, when the whole family gathers in the lounge for a lego building competition, he's his most serious self, and you watch him, smiling to yourself over a hot cup of chocolate.

Joshua- Christmas Dinner Host 

Shua is truly a people's person. He's always celebrated Christmas quite traditionally given his childhood in the US. For him, its all about family and company so he's definitely down to host a Christmas dinner in his house. There's Secret Santa, drunk friends loudly singing carols and everyone is just having a good time. He doesn't like watching you spend so many long and tiring hours in the kitchen cooking up a feast so his dinners are always a potluck.

Oh and of course, there's always a dress code - Joshua needs a little madness in his life so costumes is where he lets himself get crazy. Last year, everyone had to dress up in their ugliest Christmas sweater and this year too he's surely up to not good, you just don't know what yet. What you do know, is that nearing midnight, once he kicks everyone out, he'll come back and throw himself onto you in the bed, kissing you softly before the two of you fall asleep, tired but happy.

Jun - Christmas Dancer

Christmas isn't really a huge deal for Jun. He's just happy to get a few days off to celebrate some festivities and spend some time with you. Come Christmas he's taking you out to your favourite restaurant which he reserved weeks ago. After that, he takes you for a surprise - a night of salsa dancing downtown. The two of you dance for hours, laughing and spinning away. He loves watching you move in the dress you've been dying to wear, stealing little kisses whenever he can. He can also see all those other men glance at you more than often but he doesn't care - He knows you only have eyes for him.

At the end of the night, when your feet cannot take the heels anymore, he offers to give you his shoes which you promptly reject, it would be too cold for him. So instead, he decides to carry you till the train station on his back, your arms tightly wrapped around him, only regretting his decision when you start playfully whispering graphic and inappropriate things in his ear.

Hoshi - Unconventional Christmas

Hoshi doesn't follow trends, he sets them. For him it's all about standing out, making new traditions, thinking out of the box. That's why there's an upside down Christmas tree and Christmas gloves instead of stockings in your house. Though there are some (cringey) traditions he strictly follows like wearing matching pajamas while video calling both your families. Of course he was  disappointed when you rejected his tiger pajama idea yet again but he was still happy to wear the red and green ones you bought.

He also likes to sit you on the kitchen counter and cook something you like, definitely with your instructions and guidance. When you clean up for the night, surprisingly, he's not giving you company. Instead, you discover, he's busy building a blanket fort in the middle of your living room, filling it with pillows, fairy lights and a mini projector. You're not really sure what movie you watched that night. Not with the two of you busy with hands roaming around each other amidst the sheets.

Wonwoo - Christmas is all about You

For Wonwoo, any holiday is a good opportunity for him to engage in some of his more favourite activities like gaming for hours on the end. But he knows how much you love Christmas so this holiday is entirely yours, he'll do whatever you want. This year you dress him up to match your outfit and take him to the Christmas market, roaming from stall to stall, dragging him excitedly. Not only does he sweetly follow you, carrying all the excessive shopping you've done, he also makes it a point to capture every reaction of yours on that camera of his.

His favourite photo is probably the one of you looking up at the night sky in awe at the first snow of the year - you look so damn beautiful, he can just keep watching you for hours on the end. When he notices you slightly shivering, he wraps you in his jacket, pulling you close. The soft kiss you give him on his nose gives him all the warmth he needs.

Woozi - Christmas at work

Christmas for Woozi doesn't necessarily mean a holiday. Of course the company gave him the week off but he has deadlines to meet. On Christmas day though, he mentally prepares himself to leave earlier than usual but you know, like always, he'll get too immersed in his work and forget the time. You decide to bring Christmas to him instead so when he wakes in his studio on Christmas morning, you're already there, decorating the place, earning his fond smile.

The two of you spend hours there, you watching him work and him making you listen to some of his tracks in progress. He loves the way your eyes shine when you listen to his songs, that's why you find yourself being pulled into his lap, lips trapped in a deep kiss. When he pulls away, much to your surprise, he asks to head back home. He was serious when he decided to wrap up his work earlier than usual - He wants nothing more than to be with you, in the peace of your home, alone.

Seokmin - Handmade Christmas

Seokmin loves the little Christmas traditions you follow - buying a new ornament for the tree every year, making your very own Christmas wreath and baking that delicious log cake you always make without fail. This year he wants to switch things up a bit so he's been going to classes for a while now, learning pottery and clay modelling secretly. He gifted you the most beautiful handmade coffee mug for Christmas (knowing your habit of having a cup first thing in the morning) but he has more in mind - he wants the two of you to sit together and make this year's new ornament for the tree.

He guides you, teaching you patiently but also laughing at your little mishaps and failings. The lesson ends with a new angel figurine hanging on the tree and the two of you smothered with clay and paint on the floor under it, laughing against each others lips. It makes him all the more happier when you slide him a scarf that you made, after weeks of secret knitting classes.

Mingyu - Christmas Cooking

Of course Mingyu is the most excited about the food and booze when it comes to Christmas. He's been working on his own batch of cherry wine for weeks now and wow does it taste amazing. He's also got some mulled wine that he started making, but that's for after dinner. Speaking of dinner, he loves switching up the menu every year and on this year's list are mostly desserts, which means hours of baking together. He absolutely loves the little icing and decorations you've done on the gingerbread cookies - that crazy creative side of yours always amuses him.

Obviously he's also made a huge Christmas playlist and is blasting them on the speakers through the day. He's also randomly pulling you into the living room for a dance, making sure the two of you somehow, end up under the mistletoe so he can sneak in a few mandatory kisses. It's only when you're both slightly tipsy and settling into the couch for the night that he considers it to be a successful day.

Myungho - Artsy Christmas

Well, if there's a new exhibition in town, of course Myungho was going to take a look. Except, the last day was exactly at the time his year end break started, which meant he only just missed the chance to see it. When he messaged the organisers that he was sad to have missed their show and would love to catch them next year, they immediately responded saying they were willing to open the exhibition one more night, just for him. And you too of course.

That's how on Christmas evening, the two of you found yourself having a little museum date, with the whole space all to yourself. For a while he walked around excitedly talking about the history and artists of various pieces but the night eventually ended with some horribly inaccurate but hilarious impressions of paintings. Safe to say, the both you have new wallpapers on your phone now - a picture of him kissing you in front of the painting of a lady who looks mortified.

Seungkwan - Christmas with Family

You were pleasantly surprised when Seungkwan surprised you with 2 plane tickets to go back and see you family this holiday. He was familiar with your family through phone calls and video chats but he still hadn't met them in person and you weren't sure if Christmas was the right time for that considering your whole extended family would be home. You hoped for the best as the two of you got home, but honestly, there could be nothing better than this.

He fit into your family perfectly -  everyone loved him, they were always laughing when he was around, even the family dog seemed to always want to sit by him. Your favourite moment though was watching him sitting in the middle of your many nieces and nephews, reading them a whole bunch of Christmas tales. When he looked up and smiled at you, you sent all the kids off for dinner, pulling him for a deep kiss before softly suggesting the two of you go off to start a family of your own.

Vernon - Christmas Overseas

Vernon didn't think Christmas would turn out like this -  Flying into Paris on the Christmas morning, attending the brand event in the afternoon and the after party at night - it was not a part of his plan at all. The only good thing that came out if it was that you agreed to join him. He was glad the two of you had a chance to fly in a private plane early in the morning. And that you were cozily sitting next to him along the run way. And that you looked so absolutely stunning in that black gown his team put you in for the after party.

That's why after he made an appearance and posed for a few pictures, he softly held your hand and lead you out, escaping silently from the paps. Then he called for a horse carriage fit for royalty, claiming you look like no less than one and sat, his arm wrapped around you safely. As you drove into the night, snow falling prettily, he left soft kisses on your neck, sighing that he was so happy you're here with him.

Dino - (Un)planned Christmas

Dino had been dying to get out of the country for days now. He knew you too were sick and tired of the cold and were in desperate need of a retreat. That's why for the year end holidays, he planned a trip to Greece, knowing it was on your bucketlist for years now. He made sure to plan the perfect vacation, the right blend of touristy things and relaxing activities.

On Christmas day though, he didn’t forget to give you his gift - a lovely blue dress for a special dinner. He also rented out that convertible you're always talking about (in the exact same colour as the dress he got you) and drove you into the sunset, blasting the mixtape that you gifted him. It was absolutely perfect, just the two of you in your own world until it began pouring rain, forcing him to quickly pull up into a nearby shelter. But when Dino watched you getting wet, enjoying the rain on your own as he tried to fix the hood of the convertible, he gave up and joined you, laughing as he ducked away from your water attack and pulled you into a long kiss.

[thenightfolknetwork]

I am an antichrist.

The Real thing, born to a seventh virgin daughter after her soul was consumed by my father, Satan, in a ritual of fire, glory and light.

I was raised as instructed by The Book— Don't ask which Book, you don't want to know, the knowledge would melt your eardrums— to be the destroyer of the world, the prince of sins and the devourer of souls. I am the One Who Will Bring Fire to the earth, I am the One who will run the blood of innocents through the streets and boil the sea with my mere desire, I am the dark side of the moon, I am humanity's nightmare, I am—

I am 12 years old.

And I'm at school.

I just learned about ecosystems: The delicate balance of a food chain, the harmony that exists in the earth when a network of fungi extracts nitrogen from the earth and a rotting tree leaves the soil rich for next spring.

I found out about corals recently too. They are alive and an extremely complex life form for something that will never move, corals don't die as long as nothing kills them, isn't that a strange and wonderful concept?

I always wanted to be the World Destroyer.

It never occurred to me that bringing hell to earth would mean no deer or bees or coyotes.

If you increase the average sea temperature by more than two degrees, millions of corals will die. I don't know if I want to boil the sea if that's the end result.

But I am the Antichrist and I like being the Antichrist. I like to be Apotheosis, the crack in the glass, the rotten apple, the mercury in the water.

But I also like the world as it is, even if it doesn't bow down to me in fear.

What do I do?

(What do I say to my father?)

This is the problem with prophecies – they always put the subject under such a tremendous amount of pressure! I feel sure that, if your father had simply not mentioned his plans for your future, you would have grown up without these anxieties and likely gone on to fulfil your unholy purpose without a second thought, in a time frame that felt sensible and natural to you.

Instead, you've been burdened with a terrible and unreasonable amount of responsibility. No wonder you're feeling torn! This is more than any twelve year old should have to consider.

The important thing to remember is that you don't have to make a decision about this right away. You are the Antichrist and you will remain the Antichrist while you take a little while to decide the best course of action for you. The end of the world will still be there when you're ready for it.

As to the apocalypse itself, this is the other reason prophecies can be so frustrating. They are simply never specific enough to be helpful. Yes, you may be destined to end the world – but which world, exactly? And how much of that 'blood of innocents, boiling seas' stuff is literal, and how much is just a religious scribe getting carried away with himself?

In my experience, there are many, many ways a person might fulfil a prophecy without having to bring a fiery demise to this particular realm of existence. You might take a short hop over to another reality and destroy an uninhabited world, for example.

Alternatively, you might take your prophecy in a more metaphorical sense. “The world” we live in today is one that allows billionaires and business magnates destroy our environment in the name of profit. Perhaps you could fulfil your great purpose by destroying the social and political structures that make that world possible.

I understand your trepidation about bringing this up with your father. However, I really do think that you should consider it. Looking after you is his job, after all, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you struggling with these feelings alone. Reach out to him, and let him know how you feel.

You don’t have to decide this all at once. Whatever else you say to your father, you need to make it clear that you will not be embarking on any sort of apotheosis until you've at least finished your GCSEs. You are a child, and you deserve to have a proper childhood, whatever the future might hold for you.

[aihoshiino]

"On the trip to sample the new orange sweets, she stunned everyone. With a dead straight face, she went, 'Oh, this tastes like oranges!' That's a whole other level of airheadedness."

Thinking about this part of Spica and between this and the burger wrapper part in Viewpoint B, I feel like a lot of what they call Ai being an "airhead" is just... her not being treated well as a kid. Like not getting to try orange sweets, never getting taught how to eat a burger 🥺

YEAH IT'S SO MISERABLE... There's a lot of moments on OnK like that of Ai being flawed and human and people treating it like some bizarre 4D chess move on her part - they're so obsessed with the ideal image of her as a flawless idol that even when she does, in fact, display even the most harmless flaws, people have to explain them away as something she was doing on purpose and was in full control of the whole time.

But it's just like you said - a lot of this stuff is the result of Ai being so severely neglected as a child that she basically had to teach herself how to be a person from scratch. She lacks "common sense" because a lot of what we call common sense is passed down to us by our peers and guardians and Ai didn't have anybody to do that for her. I've said this before but this is quite literally and explicitly why she dies - nobody ever taught her what a door chain was or why she should engage it because making sure she was safe in her own home was not on anyone's list of priorities.

Something that's interesting when you start lining a lot of this stuff up side by side though is how often the topic of food comes up in relation to Ai. There's the two instances you've pointed out but it reoccurs so often it's really hard for me to not read it as an intentional theme: there's the horrific incident of Ayumi putting glass in Ai's food as a child, Saitou bribing her with a fancy drink to talk to him when they first meet, Ai being so enamored with the free food at the TV drama shoot that we get multiple moments of her gushing about it and that mention in the Da Vinci interview of her dad. That last one always really stands out to me because not only is it really kind of pathetically sad that Ai's happiest childhood memory something as mundane as "my dad took me grocery shopping once" but the food she specifically mentions he bought for her is natto which like... it's one of those foods that is stereotyped as something kids hate to eat so it's very [discord thinking emoji] inducing that it's what her dad got her. Obviously this could just have been what Ai herself wanted to eat but even if that's the case, it still feels like it echoes that sense of, as you said, Ai not being allowed to be a kid - even to the extent of the people around her not accommodating for her having a child's palate when they fed her.

[avatarrecom]

Who did this to you

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader

Word count: 2629

Warnings: Child abuse, traumatic childhood, scars, angst.

Waking up in the body of an alien, of your enemy was... jarring, to say the least. Your skin color was suddenly streaked blue, your eyes golden. Suddenly you are three times the size you were when you were human. Suddenly you have a tail and cat-like ears. But, there are also positive changes. The doctors have had you do various physical exercises to see if everything is working properly. You soon noticed that you can run much faster than when you were human.

You also discovered that you can hear and see much better. And, unfortunately, you can also smell much better. You could smell that doctor What's His Name, had onion bread for breakfast this morning. Disgusting.

You sigh as you walk to the women's locker rooms. The colonel just conducted a briefing on your mission. To hunt down and kill the leader of the Na'vi insurgency, Toruk Makto, Jake sully.

You didn't know what to do when you saw the rest of your unit. When you were human, before you died, you found out that your entire unit was romantically involved with each other. You yourself were the newest and youngest addition to the team. You found out by accident when you walked into the barracks and found some of them in heated make-out sessions, while the others watched.

You were only eighteen at the time and you had grown up in a strict Christian household. Your parents were far from good parents, they may have been married, but you don't believe they ever loved each other. You never heard them say they loved each other, or that they loved you for that matter. During your youth they completely shielded you from the outside world. You were homeschooled, you were only allowed outside for fifteen minutes a day and then only in the fully fenced backyard and you had no friends, in fact, until your eighteenth birthday you had never seen a living person other than your parents. They cut off contact with their families, their friends and everyone they knew before disappearing from the radar. And then they had you, an unwanted child.

Your father believed he was your boss. You always had to obey him or there would be consequences. When you were twelve and had your first period, your father got it into his head that you had committed sins and that you were possessed by the devil. From then on, he beat your bare back every day with the iron pin of his belt. Every morning before breakfast and every evening before dinner. It was worse when he was drunk, which was pretty much all hours of every day. And your mother did nothing to stop him, she just watched with an emotionless look in her eyes and her umpteenth can of beer in hand.

The wounds on your back never really healed while you were still living at home, only after you ran away did they start to heal and now your entire back is covered in scars. The night before you turned seventeen, your parents had outdone themselves with how much they had to drink. You packed a bag with your few belongings and turned your back on the only family you've ever known. As far as you know, your parents have never looked for you.

You didn't know where to go until you met a female Marine recruiter, Gabby. She was a kind woman who offered you food and shelter and tended to your wounds. She talked about her job with so much pride. So many stories about how she helped people and how her Marine friends became her family.

You quickly decided to sign up to join the Marines. You were desperate for a family that would care about you, like Gabby always said they would.

After finally completing your basic training, you were notified that you would be going on tour to Pandora. Your superior saw your skill in hand-to-hand combat and how easily you handled different types of weapons. She told you that she knew the head of security at Hell's Gate and that you would be joining his team. For five years you would go on tour to Pandora. You said goodbye to Gabby, promised to visit her when you got back, and boarded the rocket that would take you, and a bunch of other people, to the spaceship that would then head to Pandora.

It only took a few months for you to discover the true nature of your unit's relationship. You didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, you didn't mind, because everyone should be able to love whoever they want. But on the other hand, you were convinced that they would never see you as one of them, as part of their family.

Walker and Z-dog discovered your feelings and took it upon themselves to explain to you how their relationship worked and patiently answered all your questions. They were very surprised by your questions, it was as if you had never experienced or even seen love. They wrote it off because you were still young and thought that you had simply never been in love and that you had respectful parents who only showed their love for each other behind closed doors. They couldn't have been more wrong.

Your unit did their best to include you, even though your relationship with them was different than they had with each other. And slowly, they fell for you. You felt more and more for your unit, love, if you understood Z-dog and Walker correctly, but you were afraid of their rejection, so you kept it to yourself.

Lopez was ultimately the one who made the decision and spoke for the entire unit when he approached you. As a result, you lost your breath on his kisses. And so, you became not only the newest edition of the team, but also in the relationship. And then there were eleven in your weird little self-made family.

You loved your partners dearly, you had plenty of accumulated love to give out. You loved Miles playing the intimidating colonel, but giving you quick secret kisses every moment he could. You loved how Mansk had built a wall around himself through his sunglasses, but he let you break through his wall when no one outside your relationship was there to see it. You loved it when Lyle made his dirty jokes, and the others rolled their eyes when they had to hear his jokes for the hundredth time. You loved it when Walker and Z-dog pulled you away from the others so you could have a fun girls' night full of knee-shaking kisses. You loved it when you could lay your head in Prager's lap and he would read to you from his book while he ran his fingers through your hair. You loved it when Fike and Brown pulled you by the hand through the hallways as you ran away from the angry staff because of their latest prank. You loved it when Ja had a tight grip on your waist during your music listening session and he pressed light kisses to your neck. You loved how Lopez held you on his lap while he taught you Spanish.

But the bliss was short-lived. A few months into your relationship, you were assigned to knock down the giant tree 'Hometree' for the metals that lay beneath it.

The last thing your current, blue self remembers is that some kind of scan was made of your brain. And then, you woke up in the lab on board the ship. Then the various tests, watching a video in which your past self tells you that you have died and then Miles' briefing.

And that brings you to your current situation, thinking about your reunion with your partners. Your entire thoughts are completely mixed up. You don't know how to feel about everyone you've loved now being trapped in gigantic blue bodies.

On the one hand you are happy because you can still be with them. But on the other hand, they also died, neither of you can ever return to Earth to visit families, or Gabby. And you are insecure, you don't know whether everyone still loves you and whether they still want a relationship. You feel alone again and you wish you could talk to Gabby, you think to yourself as you walk into the locker room to change from your comfortable sweats to the tactical gear. 

You turn anxiously to the floor to ceiling mirror. Squeezing your eyes shut and turning your back to look over your shoulder in the mirror. You pray for your scars to be gone, but when you open your eyes you see the bitterly familiar scars. Sighing, you gather your equipment. If you're quick, you can get changed before Walker and Z-dog enter the locker room.

Despite your love for your unit, you have never felt comfortable enough to tell your lovers about your traumatic childhood, and about the scars that cover almost your entire back. While you've gone quite far in terms of kissing and full-on make-out sessions, you've always stopped your lovers when they wanted to go further, saying you weren't ready yet. Luckily, they always accepted your refusal with a loving kiss and a cuddle session.

You take off your hoodie, deliberately facing the door, just in case someone walks in. You're so deep in thought that you don't notice the door opening. "Hey Sweets!" you hear Z-dog say cheerfully. "Why did you leave so quickly? I didn't even get to give you an 'I'm glad you're alive again and I love you so much' kiss," she pouts.

You freeze and your hoodie falls to the floor. You don't dare pick it up, afraid they'll catch a glimpse of your scars and your camo shirt is too far away. "You still love me?" you ask, hoping to keep them occupied so they don't notice how tense you are. But unfortunately your plan isn't working.

Z-dog strides towards you with long, fast steps and comes to a stop in front of you, her nose almost touching yours. "Sure sweetie, just because we're blue now doesn't change how I, how any of us, feel about you." You let out an awkward, shaky laugh. Z-dog frowns and looks over her shoulder at Walker with a concerned look, who looks back with a similar look.

“Are you still upset about what happened?” Z asks worriedly as she looks back at you. You nod, hoping she'll leave it alone. “I know the perfect solution for that,” she grins, before placing her hands on your hips and kissing you deeply. You don't know what to do. You can be sure that if you pull away abruptly, they will become even more concerned. You decide to place your hands over Z's hoping she doesn't move them and kiss her back.

But unfortunately, before you can stop her, her hands slide to your lower back. She pulls away abruptly when she feels the ridges of your scars. "What is going on?" Walker asks, confused, she was enjoying the mini show that you and Z-dog put on.

Z-dog presses her hand further into your back, her fingers brushing over the ridges. She looks at you with wide eyes before turning you around so she can see your back.

“Who did this to you,” she asks with an icy tone. Your body starts to shake and you get tears in your eyes. You hear Walker walk towards the two of you and hear her soft gasp.

“Oh baby,” she breathes. She comes to stand in front of you and gently grabs your jaw in her hands. “My love, please tell me, who did this to you,” she begs softly. You shake your head, you don't want to burden anyone with this. This is your burden to bear and yours alone. You feel Z-dog slide her arms around your waist and she hugs you tightly against her front. She buries her face in your neck and you feel her lips on the pulse point. Walker presses her forehead against yours and nuzzles your nose with hers. You let your tears flow freely.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door and it opens before either of you can answer. Brown pokes his head in with Fike's head hanging comically beneath Brown's. "Why does it always take so long for women to get changed," Brown immediately complains. "What are you doing?" he immediately adds, confused.

Z-dog automatically takes a step towards the door to tell the two troublemakers to fuck off. But this causes the two to see your damaged back and their relaxed vibe immediately turns to shock, anger and Z sees the concern in their eyes.

Fike throws the door open and it hits the wall with a loud bang. “Who did this to you,” Brown snarls with an icy look in his eyes as he strides towards you with quick steps. Z-dog gives him a warning look so he doesn't make you more upset. Brown's gaze softens as Walker lets go of your face and he can see the tears on your cheeks, wiping them away with his thumbs. “Don't cry baby,” he whispers to you.

"COLONEL! JA! YOU HAVE TO COME HERE, NOW!" Fike exclaims, formalities and rank be damned. You hear several quick footsteps in the hallway and mentally prepare yourself to share your trauma.

"WHAT! IS SOMEONE HURT?!" Do you hear Ja, the medic calling. He bursts into the locker room and looks around in panic. The Colonel almost stands on his tail in a hurry to get into the locker room as well. You see the rest of your unit standing in the hallway and they almost fall over each other to see what's going on.

Suddenly you hear the most primal animal growl you've ever heard. Everyone looks at the colonel in shock, no one knew the Na'vi could make such sounds. “Who did this to you,” the colonel commands an answer. You just shake your head frantically and start crying harder. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel Walker hug you again. In the background you can also hear your lovers in the hallway growling and whispering to each other in shock.

Then you feel cold hands on your back and you jump into a defensive position. “Relax, it's me,” you hear Ja's soothing voice. You relax a bit and let Ja examine your back. "You can't see anything in this, can you?" you hear Prager ask. “This is not the body that suffered the wounds.” Ja nods absently. "Do you feel any pain anywhere?" he asks worriedly. You shake your head. “Darlin' you really gotta tell me who did this to you,” you hear the colonel say carefully.

You sigh, breaking Walker's hug, letting Brown wipe away your tears again and turning to your Colonel. Once you have taken a deep breath, begin your story. From your traumatic childhood, your father and his belt, the alcohol abuse and the experience of being homeless.

As you speak, you notice that your loved one is holding their breath and with every word you say, with every event you recount, they seem angrier and angrier.

When you have finally finished your story you will feel enormously relieved. "Lyle, find whoever is in charge here, we have another mission that needs to be done first." The Colonel says in a calm, icy voice. "Yes sir, what should I say when he asks where we are going?" Lyle asks, his tone similar to Quaritch's. "Earth, there are two people we need to hunt down."

You blink in surprise. ‘Well, shit’s about to go down.’