#it feels like the same things are happening over and over; the same punchlines. and there’s this one motif that i’m just like..

[oh-no-its-bird]

Adjusting my glasses to take a peek into the umbrella academy tag like Hmmmm. Maybe I don't want to watch the new season after all.

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

[fingertipsmp3]

Bro what is the verdict on tapping out of a book that may get better purely because it’s annoying

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | September 9th-15th 2024

10 days until season 8!!! 👀

I'm gonna try and put together a rec of my favourite post-S6 and 7 fics before S8 starts!

If you know anyone who isn't tagged, please let me know and/or tag them in the comments!

Complete

everything comes out teenage by Wildehack (tyleet)/ @wildehacked (First Date | 1K | Mature): “Hey,” Buck says carefully, remembering how he felt when it was his turn on Eddie’s side of the table. “You doing okay over there?”

Loving You is Easy by actualalligator/ @actualalligator (Post-S7 Spec, Getting Together | 1K | General): Nothing good happens after 9:30, Abuela always said. Sometimes good things do happen after 9:30. Sometimes they're important too.

how to slay a dragon by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7 Spec, Getting Together | 2K | General): Buck didn't know what to expect when he walked into the Han house. He definitely hadn’t expected to see Eddie sitting on the floor with Jee in front of him carefully french braiding her hair. He also hadn’t expected Eddie to be wearing a pink sparkly tiara. He definitely hadn’t expected Eddie to smile up at Buck when he saw him with soft eyes, eyes that didn’t feel like looking into an ocean of sadness, and carefully tie the end of one of the braids he was working on with a little bow. If Buck had ovaries he was pretty sure they would be exploding. 

Here's the Punchline... by misterbabygirl (Getting Together, Post-S4 | 2K | Teen): OR: The 118 find out about the will and start a running joke about Eddie being careful otherwise Buck would end up as a single parent. Eddie tries to make the same joke.

be someone by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Post-S7, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): A call leaves Buck wondering if he’ll ever be a parent. Not just a donor, a dad. A great dad. Chimney tries to convince him of his qualities – and Eddie has a hard time staying quiet. or: eddie thinks buck already is someone to chris

encounters closer and closer by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Outsider POV, Media Fic | 2,5K | Teen): OR: a group of friends asks the question what's the deal with buckley and diaz?

the clarification of equilibrium by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Post-S7 Spec, Jealous Eddie, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “He leaned?” “Exactly. You know,” Eddie waves a hand. “Leaning.” Buck blinks. He knows he isn’t that drunk, but it honestly feels like he is. “You keep saying that word. I don’t think it means what-” “Leaning, Buck!” Eddie is clearly frustrated that Buck isn’t getting what he’s trying to say, but for two people who are usually on the same wavelength, who are often (lovingly) mocked for their ability to communicate without saying a word, Buck is hopelessly lost as far as this conversation goes. * ... or, the one where Eddie gets jealous about a conversation, and attempts to explain how body positioning works.

every dead-end street led you straight to me by ameliahart (Post-S7 Spec | 5K | Teen): Or, five times one of their exes mistakenly assumed Eddie was Buck's new boyfriend, and one time the ex was right.

i don't believe in god, but i believe that you're my savior by justhockey (Post-S7 Spec, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 6K | Teen): The first thing that happens is a Catholic church in the too-hot Texan heat; Eddie’s hands are damp with sweat and he wipes his palms across his best trousers. His Abuelo smacks the back of his hand to get him to stop and Eddie balls them into tiny fists, slips them beneath his thighs so he isn’t tempted to fidget. So he listens. Listens to the priest, and his droning, and his fire and brimstone, burning-in-hell, shameshameshame talk. The first thing that happens is Eddie is born. Born wrong, born twisted, born sinning. He spends the rest of his life trying to make up for it.

I'll Be Your Safe Haven by eightpackdiaz (Safe Haven Baby Box, Alternate Canon | 6K | Teen): A Safe Haven Baby Box is installed at the Station 118 firehouse. Buck's really good with the surrendered babies.

doesn't take a scientist to understand what's going on by Chash / @ponyregrets (Post-S7 Spec, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): Eddie is already struggling with having realized he has a thing for Buck and trying to figure out what to do about said thing when Buck finds out he needs glasses. Which means that Eddie also finds out he's really into Buck in glasses. He would prefer to not know this.

🔥 One Hundred Miles an Hour In My Head by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Post-S7 Spec, Jealous Buck | 8K | Teen): Buck sort of assumed that, at some point, he'd evolve out of being needy and insecure. And, to be fair, in some ways, he probably has. He feels a lot more confident existing in the world than he did when he was a kid. He's sure he has the right job, and he mostly thinks that if he got hurt badly enough that he couldn't be a firefighter anymore, he'd figure out another thing to do and another way to help people instead of spiraling like he did after his leg got crushed. He knows who he is, and he knows that he's valued for it. Sometimes, he even thinks stuff might someday be good with his parents. And then there's Eddie.

karma is a cat (purring in my lap) by cuddlyobrien (Post-S7 Spec, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 8K | Teen): Eddie finds a kitten, realizes he’s gay, falls in love with Buck and apologizes to Chris. Not in that order but kind of?

all of the girls you loved before by Wildehack (tyleet)/ @wildehacked (Post-S7, Getting Together | 9K | Explicit): Buck finishes the math on his fingers, and holds up one spread-wide hand. “Uh,” he says. “I mean, I’ve got a top five?” Everyone groans. - Buck's top five sexual experiences, plus one mediocre handjob.

Please (I've Been On My Knees) by Bookworm0303/ @insertlovelyperson (Canon, S2-S7, Post S7 Spec | 10K | Teen): The five times Buck and Eddie confide in one another about their failed relationships, and the one time they don’t have to.

Clammed Up by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Murder/Mystery | 11K | Teen): Captain Gerrard dies suspiciously at a murder mystery party held at Tommy Kinard's condo, with most of the 118 present. As the case unfolds, Athena finds she no longer knows who among her friends she can trust.

🔥 Next Best by Nejinee/ @nejineeee (A/B/O AU | 20K | Explicit): Eddie had been very clear that they needed to keep their relationship stuff off the job. That meant no make-outs, no groping of asses, and no sexy stuff. Buck was fine with that. (Part 2 of Second Best Series)

🔥 fuck it if i can't have us (series) by Wildehack (tyleet)/ @wildehacked (Post-S7 Spec | 2/? | 35K | Explicit)

i love you but i need another year (Post-S7, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 14K | Explicit): If Eddie were still a practicing Catholic, this is the kind of shit he’d go to confession about. — Eddie watches porn, experiences revelation, replies to a lot of text messages. down bad, crying at the gym (Post S7, BuckTommy Break-Up | 21K | Explicit): On Tuesday Buck tells Tommy he loves him. On Thursday he’s giving his best friend a ride to the airport, and they’re pulling up to LAX, and Eddie says “I love you.” — Buck cooks a lot of food, thinks about love, takes pictures of local wildlife.

WIP

how come everybody's dancing but you? by showedupatyourparty (Post-S7 Spec, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 1/4 | 7K | Mature): Buck feels guilty. Everyone he loves is going through something painful, difficult, or unexpected right now. And Buck is just…bisexual. It’s great that he’s figured it out, and it’s great that everyone has been so supportive, and Tommy is—Tommy is fine. The sex is good, at least. Consistent. When Buck gets a call from Eddie’s phone late on a Tuesday night in June, it’s cause for concern. * Buck unpacks his own feelings about his recently-discovered bisexuality. Eddie gets adopted by drag queens. They're both just trying their best to be happy.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 10/? | 18K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

[ravenna-reid]

hey babe! how you're doing?

so here's an idea i had. Maybe something like reader was kidnapped by joker, tortured just like jason but Batman saved her before the same fate as the second robin hits her. And Bruce -needs- jason to help her because he's the only one who passed through what she passed?? like, they're relationship could be something angsty, idk

Hey!! I'm doing well and I hope you are too! <3 Tysm for requesting!!! I love writing for ya'll and this idea!!!! This idea is everything omg....I hope you enjoy what I've written hehe

₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖

Old Scars - Jason Todd x Reader

TW: torture via electrocution, trauma (canon things)

Three and a half hours.

That's how Bruce had tried to smooth it over.

By saying it was only three and a half hours. But as far as Jason was concerned, that's three and a half hours too long.

"Bruce...fuck I can't believe he did this again."

"Me either..." Bruce murmured over the comms, barely audible. "It should never have happened."

It wouldn't have happened... if only you would let someone put the clown 6ft under.

The bitter thought repeated in Jason's mind like a broken record, but he kept it to himself. Because all he could think about right now was you and what had happened. All he could focus on was the traumas and fears that were resurfacing, itching away at him like a disease. Consuming him like a plague. And it was even worst knowing you had gone through it all too now.

₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖ ₊‧⁺˖

Three and a half hours.

It'd only been three and a half hours...and yet it was feeling like an eternity. You spluttered on the water that had made its way into your mouth and down your throat.

The manic laughter was numbing your ears. The straps on your arms and legs were digging so deeply into your skin it was making your stomach churn. The burning in your veins and jolts tracing through your limbs were near unbearable.

Wasn't it ironic how your main weapons on patrol involved electricity. And now, the clown had you strapped to some sort of hospital bed; routinely dumping a bucket of water on you before turning up the volts attached to your limbs.

Well, that's what the punchline was according to Joker. That's what made this all oh so funny.

All you could think was how much longer?

How much longer until Bruce came? Or Dick, Cass, literally fucking anyone. Clark or Diana even.

But no matter how hard you fought to suppress it, that same thought repeated in your mind like a broken record.

No one had come for Jason. They were too late.

Black dots were swimming in your vision and your head was pounding. It took you a second to realise that no one was actually hitting it to cause that sensation. Everything was blurred and hazy, but he was laughing again. You could tell. And laughing meant another jolt of electricity.

No please. You just wanted to go to sleep. Close your eyes.

Maybe if you slept, the pain would all go away. Fade away like a sick dream. Maybe it'd stop. Just for a second.

"No.." You cried, then cursed yourself. This sick freak would find satisfaction in your begs, but the words fell from your lips before you could stop them.

"I can't...I..."

Your scream tore through the atmosphere as he flipped the switch.

Then...glass shattering. The clown falling to the floor. Pointed ears.

And finally...darkness.

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It'd been 30 minutes.

30 minutes of Jason standing outside your bedroom door.

But he just couldn't do it.

He knew how selfish it was. Selfish and cruel.

You'd both had been friends for a while now. Nothing major, not like you and the others. But he had a deep-rooted respect for you. You and your backstory, your unwavering morals and goal. He really did admire you...he just had a shitty way of showing it.

You were kind without being a doormat. Strong without being unhinged and violent. And you always appeared at the perfect time. Whether it was when he was outnumbered in a fight, in need of some extra bandages and headache medication, or when he was alone on a rooftop contemplating everything.

You seemed to have always appeared at the perfect time. And he couldn't even do that.

"You have to help her through this Jason, regardless." Bruce had said to him. Chastised him. Berated him.

"Do you think..." Jason trailed off, those horrible words dying on his tongue.

'Do you think she'll end up like me now?'

Bruce hadn't given him the chance to explain what he was trying to say. "Jason this isn't about you!" He had snapped, ripping Jason from his thoughts.

"Y/n needs you right now. She needs someone she can relate to. Someone who can understand. Can you do that Jason? Be there for her when she wakes up?"

So here Jason was, before your door 35 minutes later.

A stupid tremble began in his hands as he glared down at them. Begging them to just rise and knock on your damn door. Was it the fact that you had just been involved in something so heinous that was crawling under his skin? Or was it his visit with the past? Most likely both. It was most likely everything-

The door swung open, Alfred dressed in his usual attire, now bloody and dishevelled, and a mournful look on his face.

Jason's heart leapt into his throat. "Alfred, is she-"

Alfred raised his hand and closed his tired eyes. "She should be fine Master Todd. Few bruises here and there, but most of the damage is internal."

Jason let out a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding.

"That vile man..." Alfred began with the shake of his head. "Whatever he used to electrocute Miss y/l/n, it was made so that she wouldn't die instantly..."

"He wanted the moment to last as long as possible." Bruce was behind Alfred, face as blank as ever.

Jason stiffened. Frustration and panic and hate bubbling all at once inside of him. For who was to blame for this deja vu of a situation?

The clown that should have been killed, or the man that keeps protecting him?

"I'm glad you decided to come Jason."

Jason wanted to scoff. Huff in annoyance. But stuck to his bitter glare. "So she's alright? A-alive, she'll live?" He snapped.

"Yes, she just needs a lot of rest. She's not fully conscious yet but, you should still go in and see her."

Jason swallowed hard. "You can leave then."

Bruce tried to keep his temper, and to do so, he left with Alfred without another word. Alfred gave a weak smile for encouragement before Jason forced himself into the bedroom.

No doubt Alfred and Bruce had performed numerous medical procedures on you. 'Electrocution' Bruce had explained, for who knew how long. But he had assured Jason that he did everything he could, and that for the mean time, you should be ok...

The door squeaked as he shut it behind him, and suddenly it was as though the room was trying to swallow him whole, the only comfort being your scent.

The sun fought to break through not only the dark clouds outside, but the sheer curtains that were drawn over your windows. It casted dark shadows across your room, and they sat and watched as Jason neared your bed.

He wish he would stop fiddling with his hands. Stop sweating. Stop continuously swallowing. But he had no idea what state you were in. What he'd see once he looked down at you.

Nearing the bed, he saw your form nestled amongst the thick duvet and pillows. And as he quietly sat himself down on the chair beside your bed, he let out another sharp breath.

Your face was pale like snow. Colourless like the overcast sky outside. Your eyes were closed as you remained in your slumber, and Jason only hoped it brought you more peace than reality did. That the drugs you were hooked up to weren't keeping you trapped inside of a nightmare.

Was this what he had looked like afterwards? So sad? So silent and distant from the world?

Every now and then you twitched, and instinctively Jason reached out to you. He took his time, gingerly running the back of his finger across your bruised cheek. Brushed the hair from your face. Your skin was still cold.

How could he make you warm? How could he get rid of the cold?

He could still remember that cold, and he wondered where Joker had tortured you. Most likely not where Jason had been beaten with a crow bar, but his memory still dragged him back there. To that abandoned wing. The cold tiles. The dirt and grime and darkness. The laughter and weapons and tools...

Jason clawed his way back to the present only to be greeted with the full impact of the grief that came with the fact that Joker had done to you what had been done to him.

And Jason hated it.

With the lump in his throat and pain in his chest, he rose from the seat and quickly left your room.

He was glad you were asleep. At peace for the time being before awakening and having to deal with it all. He was glad that you were asleep so you couldn't see the tears in his eyes.

[easy-there-leftovers]

I See You, Darling (4)

[Astarion x reader] A little longer than usual, I hope that’s fine for all of you :,DDD I didn't want to cram too much into the post though, so the segment at the end might be continued in full detail, or maybe not! Let's see.|Word count: 2.9k.|

Content Warnings: Mentions of cooking, handling knives, blood, allusions to sex, a few ooc characters, reader being a dumbass and wahtnot.

Part 3 here!!

Masterlist here!!

A party is being held at the camp in the heroes’ honor, which greets you with a lively crowd that you’ll hopefully meet again soon. And with a gathering this large, you’re bound to garner attention. But with a constitution as poor as yours from the night before, a round of drinks is the last thing you want. 

Alternatively: A bloodless human tries to balance respectfully participating in a drinking party, while also not drinking at all. 

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

The sun rises, the warmth of its rays gently waking you in the absence of the campfire’s flames. The soft chirping of the birds greet you a good morning as your eyes slowly open, ready to greet the day as a new opportunity arises.

Is what would have happened in a more idyllic scenario. Instead, you bolt awake with a pounding headache, worse than any hangover could possibly feel like, and quickly rush to get up. By the sheer brightness of the light that burns your newly opened corneas, it is far later than when you usually wake. And breakfast still hasn’t been made. 

“Well, good morning sleepy head.” One of your companions, Gale, says as he fixes his belongings. Readying himself for the skirmish that was about to take hold later on in the day.

“I’m very  sorry for waking up late. It won’t happen again.” You bow your head low for a moment before he waves you off.

“Oh come now, we all have our off days. Besides, I think the rest would agree with me when I say what you made for us last night was more than enough to last us ‘til morning.” His statement is punctuated by the lively sounds of the others training. Ready and well rested for whatever may come.

You look around. None have seemed to mind your temporary absence, so you endeavor to double check with everyone leaving and ensure that they had a sound strategy with the necessary materials and weapons should there be a need for failsafes. You remind them of certain notes that some of them have informed you about but failed to share with the rest of the group. 

‘While goblins typically go down faster than other opponents, they have no sense of honor nor pride which gives way for them the opportunity to use more underhanded tactics. But they also aren’t very bright, so you can convince the others to let them infiltrate the camp and eradicate them from the inside out.’

As the rest disperse, finalize their plans and check their supplies, your favorite character approaches you much like he usually does every morning. Only this time, you see that he looks very pleased. A more vibrant spark in his eyes as he opens his mouth to speak.

“Thank goodness you’ve finally woken up.” He looks at you, in the same way an old friend of yours would when they’re seconds away from telling a joke. 

The look fades soon enough though as he breathes out. You wonder if it’s because the joke isn't funny anymore, or if he never had a punchline to begin with.

“You looked a little ill last night, but you’ve certainly recovered.” Recovered isn’t the word you would use to describe your current state of feeling almost half dead, but you don’t bother correcting the details.

“And you look particularly vibrant today, Astarion.” The itch of your neck intensifies as you return a pointed look at him as he frowns.

“Oh, of course! Now, don’t be so upset. I will admit that I got a little carried away, I apologize.” He pauses. The frown remains on his face for a while before it is erased with his usual expression of confidence. 

“But let’s not fall out over this.” He moves to stand closer to you, taking your hand to his as he nears it to his lips as he continues. 

“We need each other.” 

And whether its done purposefully or not, you see his fangs peek out from his mouth and a shiver courses through your body.

You slip your hand out of his own in a panic and interject. 

“I know that much already, and I trust you not to let what happened last night happen again. I also apologize for not noticing sooner and dealing with the situation better.” You hold your head down a bit to apologize but quickly meet his gaze gain. “But I do need to know what we’ll have to feed you from now on.”

The look of confusion, and perhaps even shock that was once swimming in his eyes dissipates before you can notice them when he swears upon his resolve. “No innocents, you have my word. After all, you know what I am now. I can fight with all my weapons–” He grins, allowing you a clearer view than what you had earlier. “Teeth included.”

“And if I happen to drain the occasional bandit during a fight, what's the harm? They’re just as dead.” He makes a very compelling argument, at least to your standards.

You sigh, satisfied for now. You’re confident that none of your party members would end up at the mercy of his fangs, and you’re more than sure they would be able to overpower him more than your attempts did. But the same sentiment cannot be shared for possibly important, plot driving, characters that you might meet later on.

So you propose something to strengthen your trust that the unlikely will stay the unlikely.

“Look, I’m–” You breathe in, almost as if you're trying to suck back whatever courage washed over you back in as you steeled yourself for what you were about to say next.

“I’m not against you feeding from me, but!” You punctuate the last syllable as you see his grin growing wider. “We need to discuss things beforehand. No prowling over me while waiting for me to wake up or to sink your teeth into.”

The proposal greatly delights him, as is evident in his response. “Of course! That sounds eminently reasonable. I shall wait patiently until you suggest we… dine together. But until then: no more late-night surprises. You have my word on that.” 

After that, he makes a joke about feeling ‘peckish already,’ and quickly gathers the rest of the party to leave on their adventure.

You promise them a feast when they came back as the victors that they are. What you forgot, after what felt like weeks in the real world, was the crowd that would come filtering in to celebrate their heroes’ achievements as well.

————————————

When you saw the tieflings from the grove traveling alongside your companions, you knew they had come to celebrate. And you blanched at the thought of the provisions they’d be seeking to pair with their drinking. It’s been so long since you went through this event, and you no longer recall if they even ate anything during the party.

You look at your bubbling cauldron–– a bigger one as you had anticipated a few acquaintances accompanying them–– but you wager that at least a little extra things to nibble on won’t hurt to have. You still have quite the amount of camp supplies in the trunk, but you keep it reserved for the camp’s use only. So you smile at your returning comrades and alert the others that stayed behind for your reason to leave and that they can begin eating dinner. 

While others told you it wasn’t necessary, the rest just nodded with a smile and yelled that they’d wait for you to return. You return quite too quickly though, all the while informing them why you’re keeping the communal chest in your tent as you spy the child that tried to steal and swindle the group a few days prior approaching with the rest.

They have a laugh and you quickly proceed with your plan to find at least a few consumable berries and nuts or seeds to accompany the drinks later on. 

But foraging for said consumables near dark is a choice not for the faint-hearted. You came to realize this when you heard the low grumble of a large animal, thankfully far from your form. You turn to look behind you, taking great care to do so as slowly as possible so as to not alert the mysterious creature.

In the clearing, you spot a rather dark looking bear and you feel a cold sweat begin to form on your temple. Hands, growing wet in the dangerous situation you’ve placed yourself in. This wasn’t the same as being drained to death by a vampire, that, you could at least reason with. But a wild animal? With your lack of magical prowess and lesser knowledge of connecting with nature and the wild, you would be finished if it were to follow you.

The small pouch of nuts and wild berries stayed holstered on your waist, but the bear’s eyes that were previously low on the ground are now trained on you. Almost as if it were caught doing something it wasn’t supposed to be. 

You freeze. You forgot what the basic policy was around brown or black bears and therefore couldn’t do much about your current predicament. There shouldn’t be a bear around this area, not unless they had traveled from far away, or that this bear was one of your future companions.

And while the latter isn’t impossible, you most certainly did not want to gamble your life on a possibility. So you tried to compose yourself, returned the gaze of the bear with a shaky and careful nod, and turned back to return to camp. Figuring that the amount of tidbits you gathered would have to suffice.

 When you return, the company you shared seems to be in high spirits. Some more than others. But conversation was plentiful and you smiled as the tieflings cheered for your comrades. You quickly got to work and began to chop the nuts into thinner pieces. Something you learned to make the appearance of something look more abundant than it really is.

While you were chopping away unfortunately, you nick your finger along the way and silently curse. Unfortunate, but not an unforeseeable outcome given the booming drums of the bard that plays oh so nicely with your bloodless state. You quickly, but neatly, arrange the provisions on two small platters, and position them near the larger gatherings. 

“Flitting around like a hummingbird as always, I see.” A familiar, but not immediately recognizable voice greets you as you pass them. You turn and you see an unexpected acquaintance with a bottle in their hand and an incredibly charming grin.

“Dammon! How lucky of me to run into you.” You genuinely were elated to see him. You didn’t see much of him later on in the game, and being able to interact with him beyond the opportunities given to you was certainly nice.

“I could say the same. Though you’re as lively as you usually are.” There’s no malice in his tone, only an innocent observation, yet you feel embarrassed to have been seen scuttling about like a bug.

“I– promise I’m more organized. I just didn’t expect us to be having any guests.” He takes notice of how you push your fingers into your palms repetitively, a small action that soothes you.

“I think you’ve done more than a fine job already. The celebration is for you all, and it was us who planned to come and might’ve put your friends on the spot.” He later takes notice of the cut on your finger as well.

“Speaking of,” He gingerly grasps your hand, looking to you for permission, but you’re too confused to respond with anything he can understand. “Shouldn’t you be taking it easy for the night? You’ve done enough. And if what happened at the grove tells me anything about you, I’m sure they’ll survive even if you settle. Just for a bit.” 

He leads you nearer to the water and produces a small washcloth to clean a bit of your finger as you respond. “The grove? They did that on their own. I just um, take notes.” You sit on a fallen tree, your head still fuzzy, as you observe his crouched form. Inspecting the cut as he cleans it. 

A curious interaction. Not one that you’d expect from an non-romanceable NPC, but an interesting one nonetheless. And it would seem that someone had found it equally as interesting, if the way he scrutinizes you had anything to do about it.

He chuckles in turn. “If modesty is how you like to live, then I won’t impose.” He smiles and gets up as you continue your conversation. You don’t recall if the tiefling has ever had this much screen time, but his voice is rather lovely so you don’t complain about it.

You end up discussing quite a bit, but you focus on what can be done about your party. Specifically Karlach as you worry for the future and you’d like to have answers for her when he isn’t around during your journey. He doesn’t have much idea of what else can be done, but he does mention that he should have something by the time you meet him again in Baldur’s Gate.

You do remember that you might meet him a lot sooner, but you don’t mention it explicitly. You do, however, advise him to be extra careful around the oxen as they can be rather unpredictable this time of year.

As you continue, you notice his eyes flit up every now and then. Like something was catching his attention ever so often. You ask him about it and he actually laughs at your genuine inquiry. “It looks like I was wrong. Your friend there looks like he’d like his turn for your company.”

You turn around and you don’t immediately eye anyone looking in your direction. You were never the subtle type, so you looked around, blatantly searching for someone. It was a bit odd to see.

Your eyes do eventually train on his, but he doesn’t necessarily look like he wants to talk to you. Sure, he’s scowling away, though that’s not out of the ordinary at all. Besides, he has a bottle of something that you hope is helping him relax.

Still, perhaps Dammon saw something you didn’t so you politely thank him for his company and excuse yourself.

You greet the others that regard you as you walk past them. Declining the offers to drink and excusing yourself politely when you were asked to stay a bit. 

As you approach him, a tiefling tries to strike up a conversation with him. With a bored look, he dismisses them and turns to look at you. He takes a sip, sneers, and begins his rant now that you’re situated in front of him.

“I hate it. This is awful.” 

“The…wine?” He looks at you as if he should be mad, but a hint of amusement surfaces past the expression anyway. 

“There’s that, but I’m talking about the tieflings. We killed some goblins to save the others. The tally of lives didn’t change much. But what do I get for my hard work? A pat on the head, and vinegar for wine.” He looks down the neck of the bottle, swirling its contents before handing it out for you to take.

You look at the bottle, then him, warily. Modern alcohol is already a wonder to you, and this medieval mead could only do so much worse. Still, you take the bottle, and take a very small sip.

It’s a heavy, rich, red. Dry and sharp. You make a small sound of shock as you keep the liquid in your mouth. Offering him an awkward smile and a nod as you do.

“Ugh, see what I mean? Awful.” 

“All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?” You would think that after an entire day of fighting whatever was out there he’d be tired. Apparently not. 

You sigh, ready to reprimand him and that he should just enjoy the night, but you stop when you feel his unburdened hand reach out to you. Eyes, boring into your own as he propositions you.

You’re here. Face in the grasp of a character you’ve longed to romance with what little time you’ve had away from your scholarly pursuits. Yet meeting him in strange, yet not all too unfamiliar, territory stirs uncertainty within you. Because while he doesn't have a knife at your throat like he did when your character first met him, it certainly does evoke the same sentiment.

‘To, “make me his”, is that right?’ While the idea is tempting, that statement alone can have various interpretations. And you didn’t want to hedge your bets on the one that made your heart race for all the wrong reasons.

Thankfully, he releases his hold on your visage. Only the gods know how much his touch alone can influence you, and you struggle to stand upright.

“I’m– very,-- truly, sorry, but don’t you think you have the wrong person? I mean,” You gesture to yourself with both hands, a cut visible from the labor in the few hours prior to the large festivities going on.. “Uh…in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly in a position to make any um, lucrative offers.” 

 He looks at you, a familiar expression graces his face. He leans his weight on one leg, and you struggle to recognize what his body language is conveying. This is one of those instances you wished you had the dice roll mechanic of the game at your disposal. 

“Why, that hardly matters, darling. What matters is that you’re here.” He takes a sip from his bottle, the very same that he allowed you to partake from moments prior. Only this time, without the sneer at the aftertaste as he continues.

“But then again, what’s a sinner to do when faced with the very embodiment of chastity?” A smile graces his face, but it’s one that is all too perfect. As if he’s rehearsed the same song and dance enough to save him lifetimes.

“Let’s wait until things quieten down. Once the others are asleep we’ll find each other.” 

You have no idea what to expect. Well, you do, but you’re not very sure if this is necessary. You’ll just have to find a way to continue the story without having to go through with this. For now, at least. 

“We’ll see about that, Astarion.” 

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, @tiannamortis, @aoirohi, @sarkara211, @jane-3043, @h3110-dar1in9, @h3ll0k1ttyl0ver333, @mimziethealien, @squichymochi, @sharabay, @furblrwurblr, @dork-of-the-universe, @thedevilssinner, @fuckalrighty, @queenofthespacesquids, @perseny, @goldenplutus, @h4nluv, @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer, @auszimbo, @maruichio, @iamsexytrash, @craig-mywifeisdead-boone, @grimissleepy, @fandomsfanman, @bitchyzombienacho, @r1kk, @ancuninstar, @izuoyarmin, @gracemisconduct, @kiinokochii, @marina-and-the-memes, and @life-is-hard-m8 for asking to be tagged!!

[sh4wty18]

hii could i request reader x johnnie fluff where reader is best friends with him jake and carrington, both johnnie and reader are crushing on each other and yapping to jake and carrington about the other and jake gets to be cupid for his best friends

sorry if bad grammar, english is my second language

playing cupid.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader (featuring jake!)

summary: same as request

cw: fluff, dual perspective, language, mentions of vomiting/being hungover

word count: 1.7k + not edited (this was off the dome lol)

---

Jake’s POV:

Some people liked to assume that Jake was not an observant person, but he disagreed. Just because he was slightly aloof in attitude did not mean he wasn’t acutely aware of everything that went on around him, especially regarding his best friends. And Y/n, Johnnie, and Carrington were not only his roommates, but also his very close friends. 

For the last several months, Jake had been– well, he didn’t want to use the word ‘lurking’ – but watching Johnnie and Y/n’s interactions. He knew Y/n was always closest to Johnnie, of the three men, you would have to be an idiot not to notice that, he figured. But what he’d noticed more recently was their slight changes in behavior around each other. The way Johnnie would go out of his way to do little things for Y/n, like fill her water glass when it was empty, or bring her bedroom a fresh box of tissues when he noticed she was running low. Jake noticed the way Y/n purposely told the punchlines of her jokes in a way she knew Johnnie would laugh at, and the way her ears got two shades redder when he did. Jake noticed the stolen glances they gave each other when the other wasn’t looking, and the way their fingers would brush together when they wanted to get each other’s attention. Jake had noticed all of these quirks that Y/n and Johnnie had, and yet he hadn’t said a single thing to either of them.

No, Jake knew that a good best friend wouldn’t try to pry the information out of them, he would wait until one of them came to him. Or, bring it up in conversation with them individually when the time was right. 

As it turns out, tonight would be the night when the time was right. It was around 1 am, and Jake was sitting in his room, sifting through his hours and hours of stream content, deciding what he wanted to cut and edit for his live channel on youtube. Suddenly, his bedroom door slammed open, and a very drunk Johnnie stumbled in. He had just got back from hosting a local Emo Night with Y/n. 

“Dude I dunno whatta do…” he slurred, and Jake laughed. This did not please Johnnie, as he started making angry pouty faces at Jake.

Jake cleared his throat and played off the laugh, “What happened, man?” 

“I kissed ‘er. Y/n. I… I–” He collapsed on Jake’s bed, slamming his hands over his face to try and mask his embarrassment. “She’s gonna hate me.”

Jake cut him off, “Woah, Johnnie. She’s not gonna hate you. Why would she hate you?”

“I think she just wantsta be friends ‘n I messed it up!”

“Did she tell you she just wanted to be friends?”

“No but–”

“And do you feel like you have real feelings for her?” Jake interrupted, so as to not allow him to overthink, even in his drunken state.

“Yes.”

“Exactly. And by the looks of things, I think she has feelings for you too, dude.”

Johnnie moved his hands away from his face slightly, and turned to look at Jake, “Really?”

“Yes, Johnnie! Now go chug a huge glass of water and go to bed.” He got up and pulled Johnnie to his feet. Then he dragged him to the kitchen and got him a big glass of water, before walking him back to his own bedroom and tucking him into bed. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Jake.”

—

The next morning Jake sat at the kitchen table, bowl of cereal in hand, when Johnnie slowly trudged into the kitchen. Y/n was not yet awake. 

Jake giggled at Johnnie’s disheveled state, “Morning, sunshine.”

“Fuck off,” Johnnie mumbled, his voice still laced with sleep. 

“How you feeling?” Jake asked.

“Well, I’m hungover as fuck if that’s what you mean.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

Johnnie hesitated, “I don’t know, dude. I’m surprised I even remember our conversation if I’m being honest. I still kind of think I’m fucked… Thank God she’s not awake yet. I needed more time to contemplate all my shitty decisions.”

“Dude… I promise you’re not fucked. Like, I promise.” 

“Did she tell you something?”

“No but… a best friend’s instinct is never wrong…” he wiggled his fingers goofily in Johnnie’s direction.

“Are you forty? Like, what is that?” Johnnie asked sarcastically, but with his classic Johnnie laugh.

“Just trust me, Johnnie,” he put on a southern accent and clasped a hand over his heart, “Mother knows best.” 

“Yeah, okay man,” Johnnie laughed. 

—

Y/n POV:

You woke up with the throbbing headache and the sudden urge to vomit. As you ran to your bathroom and keeled over the toilet, you thought about the events of last night. No level of hungover could make you forget the fact that Johnnie had kissed you last night. You wanted it to mean something more than anything. 

You cleaned yourself up, brushed your teeth, washed your face, and got dressed for the day before heading downstairs to greet Jake. 

“Good morning,” he said with a grin, slurping up the last of his cereal milk.

“Morning,” you replied, grabbing a mug and pouring yourself a black cup of coffee, as well as popping a bagel in the toaster. “Where’s Johnnie?”

“He went back to bed. Claimed he was quote ‘too hungover for this shit’. How was your night?” Jake asked, a hint of a smile in his voice.

You turned around and were met with an expectant Jake leaning against the island behind you, arms crossed.

“Why…?” 

“Oh you know, I heard some rumors through the grapevine, the usual.”

“Did he tell you what happened?” you asked.

“Maybe…”

“Jesus, that man cannot keep his mouth shut to save his life.” You chuckled at the thought of Johnnie stumbling into Jake’s room to tell him what he’d done as soon as he made sure you were in bed, and a smile formed on your lips. “Well yeah. He kissed me. I don’t know if we’re gonna talk about it, or if it was a mistake, or what. But Jake, I need to get this off my chest. I’m like… in love with him. I have been for a while, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna ruin the friendship.”

“Interesting, interesting.” Jake said, rubbing his chin with his thumb and pointer finger, as if this was news to him. 

“You knew?” 

“I had my suspicions! I’m more observant than you guys give me credit for!” Jake said proudly. “But trust me, Y/n, you have nothing to be scared of.”

“Did he… did he tell you something?” you asked, and Jake hesitated.

“No. I just have very good observational skills, can’t you just say you’re proud of me, damn!” he jokes.

You laughed, “Okay, Jakey.”

You’re getting ready to follow Johnnie’s lead and head back to bed (fuck the bagel), just because you felt so sick. But before you could leave, Jake grabs your arm.

“Seriously, Y/n. I think you should tell him how you feel. Chances are, he probably feels the same.”

“For real?” 

“Yes. And if I’m wrong… I’ll do all your chores around the house for a week.”

“Two weeks,” you add slyly.

“Deal!” he stuck out his hand and you shake on it. For Jake, a deal is a deal– no bullshit.

You head upstairs to fulfill your end of the deal. Even though you know that Johnnie would still want to be your friend, regardless of if he reciprocates your feelings, the nerves are still ever present in your stomach. 

You knocked on his door lightly, and heard a quiet, “Come in” from inside. 

You opened the door and crept into Johnnie’s pitch black room, you knew the layout of his bedroom by heart at this point. You could navigate his space with your eyes closed, so the lack of light made no difference. You mentally thanked Johnnie for inviting you to have so many movie nights in his room. Finally, you reached the bed and sat down on the edge, facing where you could only assume was his head.

“Hi,” Johnnie said, and you could hear the nerves in his voice.

“We need to talk about last night,” you say.

“You’re right,” Johnnie started, and you felt his weight shift in bed as he sat up to face you, even in the darkness. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I don’t know why I kissed you last night. It was reckless and dumb, and I understand if you need space from me for a while. But… I can’t say it was a mistake. It wasn’t. Not for me.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and even though you knew he couldn’t see you, you were still embarrassed that your cheeks were burning up at his words. 

“That’s exactly what I came in here to say,” you smiled.

“Wait… really?” he asked.

“Yes, Johnnie. I don’t want to be just friends with you anymore. Do you think, could we ever…?” You trailed off, waiting for him to finish your thoughts, since you were too scared to vocalize them.

“Yes.” Johnnie said, this time there was zero hesitation or fear in his voice. “I want to be with you, Y/n. You’ll always be my friend, but we can be friends and?” 

“Yeah,” you giggled, “Friends and.” 

You reached out to feel for his face in the darkness, and your fingers brushed against the stubble on his cheek. You drew his face closer to yours, until your noses brushed together. His hands found your chest and moved up your neck to wrap around the back of your head, and he pulled your face impossibly closer to his. He pressed your foreheads together, and you breathed deeply, letting go of all your fear. You’d done it. 

You finally closed the gap between the two of you, and his lips were softer than you’d remembered them being last night. After a minute of getting used to the feeling of each other's mouths, for real this time, Johnnie smiled against your lips, and you can’t help but return the gesture.

“What?” you asked, still grinning.

“Nothing, it’s just… Jake was right. As usual.”

“Wait. Jake talked to you about this?”

“Yeah,” Johnnie responded, “He’s the one who told me to tell you my feelings.”

“No way, he told me the same thing!” you laughed, “That little fucking schemer!” 

Johnnie kissed you softly, and you felt him grin against your mouth again, “He’s like our cupid.”

 “Yeah, he really is,” you whispered, before leaning in to kiss Johnnie again. 

And now that you had him, you didn’t want to stop. 

---

guys please... idk how many more johnnie fics i can write PLS request jake or tara or literally anyone else once i reopen requests lolll

[bimboothefool]

Reader was taken kidnapped by Wally and taken to his world. But what Wally didn't expect is that all the other characters would start to remember memories with the reader as a child and discover the truth of their colorful world.

( Now it's up to you to decide what will happen! Will they help the reader get back to the real world or will they become so attached to the reader that it would help Wally keep them there with them FOREVER. )

ℌ𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔶 ℑ’𝔪 ℌ𝔬𝔪𝔢

𝔗𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰: Kidnapping, Yandere Behavior (You know the drill keep this shit in fiction.), Stockholm Syndrome, Amnesia, Possessive Behavior, Wally manipulating the others, and Gaslighting

𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯’𝔰 𝔏𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯: Thank you so much for this request and I apologize for taking so long so much came up, but regardless thanks for the request let’s jump right in!! Keep in mind it could either be read as platonic or romantic regardless spoiler alert they don’t see you grow up.

- Wally was surprised to see you after all these years. Same thing with the rest of the crew, your eyes are definitely different instead of that whimsy you’ve once held. You’re rather cautious, it still wows them how different you are now.

- Wally did believe for the time being that he’s the only one who truly remembers you and for a while that’s true. But once you’re in their world things started to change.

- Eddie and Frank are the first few to notice that you looked oddly familiar. When he asked specific questions about your childhood it started to click for him.

- Sally and Julie are shocked that you remembered the lines of a play or the rules of a game. They start to ask themselves the same questions why do you look so familiar yet different.

- Howdy, Poppy and Barnaby are a bit unnerved when you remember stuff like the residents orders or certain joke punchlines. Even certain recipe ingredients. How come you know those things.

- They all meet together to discuss the possibility of how they felt so familiar with you, but this is seemingly their first time meeting you. They all come to the conclusion that they’ve met you before. [Excluding Wally since he fully remembers you.]

- For a while they’re all happy to have you back, but you’re getting homesick. You constantly ask questions on how to get back to your world. But they’re not even sure if it’s possible.

- But only Wally knows a way in and out of their world and keeps it out of your grasp. He even starts manipulating the others.

- “We have them back, why let them go now? Don’t you all miss having our best friend?” He asked the others as they’re all conflicted. Sure they miss you and love you, but was keeping you here really right?

- This could go one of two ways. The first being they do buy into Wally’s twisted line of thinking, why go back to such a troubled and dangerous world? You can stay here and everyday is nothing, but joy and laughter.

- They’ll start gaslighting you into buying into this logic as well, which really freaks you out and you start lashing out. They see this as you throwing a tantrum.

- Another way this can go down, they aren’t sure and start asking you why you want to go home. And you explain that yeah your world isn’t perfect, but it’s still your home.

- Soon they all start talking about how to get you back home, out of Wally’s watchful eyes. You all start to unraveling and untying the mysteries of their world and Wally’s existence.

- Either way it’s ultimately up to you to really choose your own path on how things will play out.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoy my stuff please feel free to check out my other stories from other fandoms, along with reblogging and commenting on it! If you like my art and wanna commission me for some art, head over to my kofi!

[boatboysrowout]

i am So Very Interested in the burger king vs mcdonalds au if you're willing to share more 👁️👁️

i'm so glad you asked

it's all grian's fault, of course. 'it'll be great if all my friends got a summer job around the same place!' he said. 'it'll be fun hanging out on our lunch breaks!' he said. 'this is a genius idea, nothing will go wrong!' he said.

it goes wrong in less than a day.

it all starts with scar's job application getting rejected from burger king. he takes this very personally, as the man who interviews him is grian's friend who had just been hired the day before, and scar had been assured he would get an easy in. ren, however, didn't like how many questions scar was asking about their ice cream machine and where their security cameras were placed.

so out scar goes, sulking his way through a successful interview to work at the white castle down the road, joining bdubs and cleo. the rest of grians friends end up scattered in shops around the two restaurants with varying degrees of satisfaction with their summer jobs.

grian, as he is wont to do, waffles around a bit before committing to a job. he's pretty sure he's going to join bigb at the library, but before he decides, he goes to pay scar a visit to make sure he's still not sulking about the burger king fiasco.

that, too, is a mistake.

grian doesn't know what happened. he swears he just meant to stop in and say hi. and maybe play a little prank! just a funny little joke! only he didn't realize how much hair spray bdubs uses and how flammable that made his hair, and really, how could grian have known that the second after he fled the scene of his crime, scar would walk in at the exact wrong moment holding a lighter, making him look like the guiltiest motherfucker on earth?

it's absolutely not his fault.

but.

now scar is out of a job again, and he's gotten it in his head that the only way to get his revenge on ren is to work at the mcdonalds across the street from the burger king and, to quote scar, "make him regret not taking my offer." and listen. this is the third job scar's had in two days. it kind of feels a little bit like grian's responsibility to make sure he doesn't get fired from this one too. but it'll be fine. what else could go wrong?

so much. so, so much.

scar almost immediately goes off the rails. he creates his own customer rewards program in which he refuses to serve a customer if they don't pledge their undying loyalty to the mcdonalds in exchange for scar certified McReputation points. this somehow is remarkably successful despite grain's repeated warnings that this is a scam- scar pulls some strings and grian is forced into kitchen duty after he tries to warn one too many customers. martyn and ren catch word of this and try institute a similar program, albeit to a much less successful degree. scar, however, cannot let that stand.

grian also cannot let that stand, but this is more due to martyn coming over every day during his lunch break and annoying grian by telling increasingly convoluted jokes all ending with a punchline relating to the mcdonald's broken ice cream machine.

so that afternoon grian and scar pay the burger king a visit. scar goes up to the front counter and gives ren and martyn the longest sales pitch of his life, something about cereal, and while they're distracted grain climbs through the drive through window and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat.

that's the beginning of the end.

ren takes the attack way too personally. he gets naked, makes martyn crown him with a shitty cardboard crown, dubs himself the burger king, and declares war on the mcdonalds.

he and martyn set out to recruit for their army amongst the rest of their friends in the area to varying degrees of success. they first go to visit joel in his art shop, but quickly decide to leave after the first thing they hear upon walking in is a conversation in the back room in which someone appears to be blackmailing joel over something in the basement.

they decide to try impulse and tango down at the arcade, and both of them are so confused by ren's sales pitch they just agree to make him go away (they do the same thing when scar and grian visit them a few hours later).

ren and martyn's visit to the white castle is the worst yet. instead of walking in and recruiting bdubs and cleo with their impassioned speech and thirst for justice, the burger king and his hand walk into an active warzone.

there's smoke everywhere. bdubs is screaming. martyn swears he hears a gun go off. cleo is cackling. someone runs past them entirely engulfed in flames. as ren and martyn make a hasty retreat etho cheerfully greets them from his seat on a bench outside the building, tinkering with something that looks suspiciously like a pipe bomb.

they decide to take a break from recruiting after that.

meanwhile, scar and grian have been busy. they've recruited jimmy and scott from the florists down the road to launch a yelp smear campaign against the burger king, tanking them from a respectable 3.8 stars to 1 star in an afternoon. to a normal human being, this would mean nothing, but they text a screenshot of this to martyn and ren with the caption 'this u?'

martyn and ren have never once reacted to anything normally or proportionality in their life.

skizz, one of their regulars, also takes great offense to this. he insists that this is a devastating blow against the burger king's honor, and vows to get revenge.

no one's sure exactly how he does it, but within an hour he manages to trace one of the bad reviews back to jimmy and promptly doxes him, getting him fired due to the content of his surprisingly popular google+ account.

scar and grian, after laughing hysterically for an hour over the fact that jimmy was a google+ influencer, continue their reign of terror over the burger king by taking a selfie of them next to the burger king drive through menu, which they somehow have relocated to the roof of the mcdonalds.

it's the last straw for ren.

decked out in a red cape made of the burger king curtains and armed with a spatula and the fury of a thousands suns, ren marches across the street to the mcdonalds and challenges scar and grian to a winner-takes-all duel.

a crowd begins to gather, with nearly everybody grian knows save for the people involved in what has been dubbed the white castle war, forming a loose arch behind ren and martyn as they begin to chant for a fight.

grian and scar, who came outside to see what all the commotion was about, both predictably panic at the sight of two men in capes charging towards them backed by a crowd chanting for blood. grian tries to claw his way back up the roof while scar, possessed by the spirit of apollo, does the only thing he can and chucks a potato at ren's head.

that potato hits ren square in the forehead and knocks him out cold.

the crowd goes silent.

martyn, thinking ren is dead, drops to his knees and cradles his unconscious body close to his chest and dramatically confesses his everlasting love, vowing to never leave ren's side and to never stop spreading the tale of ren's 'grey long and strong' bits.

grian, upon witnessing this, realizes to his abject horror that he also has gay feelings for his manager.

he has no idea what to do with these feelings, and the crowd is still chanting fight, and he's experienced a lot of stress and unexpected emotions in the last five minutes, so he really can't be blamed when he turns on his heel and punches scar in the face.

scar, surprised but absolutely willing to go along with it, punches grian back, and they begin beating the shit out of each other in the most pathetic fist fight a mcdonalds parking lot has ever witnessed.

meanwhile, there's police cars and fire trucks with sirens on speeding down the road past them, and someone in the crowd realizes 'oh shit are those all going to the white castle?'

so the crowd immediately abandons the world's worst fight to go see what the hell has been going down in the white castle.

it takes a bit, but, with martyn still confessing his love and sobbing over ren's unconscious body, grian finally manages to land a lucky hit and knocks scar out, sending him crumpling to the ground. for the second time that day, grian realizes with horror what he's done, and frantically tries to run to get a medic only to trip over scar's unconscious body and knock himself out as well.

The headline of the local newspaper the next morning reads as follows:

...anyone wanna ask me about my last life mall au

[wttcsms]

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again. 

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life. 

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship. 

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you. 

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment. 

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart. 

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya. 

“Were you looking for something?” 

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide. 

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.” 

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?” 

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind. 

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend? 

“What are you talking about?” 

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly? 

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.” 

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.” 

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him. 

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you. 

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf. 

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment. 

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him. 

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?” 

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.” 

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this. 

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him, 

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.” 

“Huh?” This catches his attention. 

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?” 

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question. 

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him. 

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch. 

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

[fazfacts]

TIME LOOP SENTENCE STARTERS!

quotes from "groundhog day" and "happy death day;" feel free to change as needed!

FROM THE PERSON STUCK IN THE LOOP:

❝ Didn't we do this yesterday? ❞

❝ Don't mess with me. What day is this? ❞

❝ Sorry. I'm having a bad day. ❞

❝ I'm feeling a little strange. ❞

❝ Have you ever had déjà vu? ❞

❝ I've got to talk to you. I think I'm losing my mind. ❞

❝ Can I be serious with you for a minute? ❞

❝ I'm being serious. ❞

❝ I'm having a problem -- no, I may be having a problem. ❞

❝ I'm trying to say that if I was having a problem, just hypothetically, I'd like to know that you're someone I could count on in a crisis. ❞

❝ Just trust me. ❞

❝ I've done it before. ❞

❝ I'm talking about today. I lived it before. ❞

❝ I know it's nuts, but I keep reliving the same day over and over. ❞

❝ This is the third time. ❞

❝ I'm not making it up. I'm asking for your help. ❞

❝ I'd like you to spend the next 24 hours with me. Don't leave my side for a second. ❞

❝ You're saying this thing is not really happening to me? ❞

❝ Are you saying I'm crazy? ❞

❝ What would you do if there was no tomorrow? ❞

❝ I don't worry about anything anymore. ❞

❝ I have a life wish. I'm just trying to enjoy it. ❞

❝ I know you won't believe me, but we could do anything we want today and it wouldn't matter one bit. ❞

❝ I've already been here for 211 days. ❞

❝ There's got to be more to it than this. ❞

❝ If you only had one day to live, what would you do with it? ❞

❝ I've been planning this day for weeks. ❞

❝ But there is no tomorrow for me! ❞

❝ I can't stand this place anymore! ❞

❝ Just remember, we had a wonderful day together once. ❞

❝ I'm a God. ❞

❝ It's the only explanation. I'm a supernatural human being. ❞

❝ I always wake up the next day without a scratch, without even a headache. I'm telling you, I'm immortal. ❞

❝ I want you to believe in me. ❞

❝ I told you the truth. ❞

❝ In five seconds, there's going to be a grease fire in the kitchen. ❞

❝ Please believe me. You've got to believe me. ❞

❝ It's not that bad. You get used to it. ❞

❝ The worst part is waking up every day. Tomorrow, you won't remember any of this. ❞

❝ It doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't. ❞

❝ It's not true. It's not. It can't be true. ❞

❝ You're here! My god! I can't believe you're here! ❞

❝ It's happened! Don't you get it? It's tomorrow! ❞

❝ Did I just dream it? ❞

❝ What day is it? ❞

❝ I'm totally having déjà vu right now. ❞

❝ I'm having a weird day. ❞

❝ This can't be happening...this can't be real! ❞

❝ This is a nightmare. ❞

❝ I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm so confused. ❞

❝ This isn't going to make any sense, but I've already lived through this day. Twice. ❞

❝ I know! It's not possible, but it's happening! I swear to God! ❞

❝ Nobody told me! Don't you see? I know what's going to happen before it happens! ❞

❝ I'm reliving the same day over and over. ❞

❝ Oh my God...make it stop. Please, make it stop. ❞

❝ Nobody believes me. ❞

❝ I'm sorry. I'm just...going through a lot right now. ❞

❝ I'll explain everything tomorrow...assuming there is one. ❞

❝ No...this can't be happening. This can't be happening! ❞

FROM THOSE NOT IN THE LOOP:

❝ I don't get what you mean. ❞

❝ I know you're losing it. ❞

❝ What is this? ❞

❝ Are you drunk? ❞

❝ What are you trying to say? ❞

❝ Yesterday? What are you talking about? ❞

❝ You're having déjà vu? ❞

❝ Uh-huh. I'm waiting for the punchline. ❞

❝ I'm racking my brain, but I can't even begin to imagine why you'd make up something like this. ❞

❝ Okay, I'll bite. What do you want me to do? ❞

❝ Have you considered psychiatric help? ❞

❝ I'd say that maybe you're, I don't know, a little delusional. ❞

❝ What makes you so special? ❞

❝ You really do have a death wish, don't you? ❞

❝ That's quite a long time, isn't it? ❞

❝ Is this real, or are you just going to make me look like a fool? ❞

❝ It's sort of like the way I feel about UFOs. I'd have to see it to believe it. ❞

❝ There's something so familiar about this. Do you ever have déjà vu? ❞

❝ Do you really expect me to trust you? ❞

❝ Are you alright? You look terrible. ❞

❝ What are you doing? What are you thinking? ❞

❝ For a minute there, I thought you might be crazy. ❞

❝ Why are you telling me this? ❞

❝ It's not possible. ❞

❝ This is nuts. ❞

❝ Okay, enough. Let's just sit down and think for a second. ❞

❝ How are you doing this? ❞

❝ How did this start? ❞

❝ It sounds so...lonely. ❞

❝ Is this what you do with eternity? ❞

❝ Have we done this before? ❞

❝ Maybe it's not a curse. It all just depends on how you look at it. ❞

❝ Hold it right there. I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now. ❞

❝ This is too much. I must be dreaming. ❞

❝ There's something going on with you. ❞

❝ You must've had some dream. ❞

❝ Wow. Have you been here before? ❞

❝ You were acting really weird this morning. ❞

❝ Just calm down and start from the beginning. ❞

❝ Okay, I get it. Who put you up to this? ❞

❝ You're starting to freak me out. ❞

❝ What's wrong? Are you sick? ❞

❝ Maybe I can help. ❞

❝ You literally think you're reliving the same day? ❞

❝ Come on. You're just messing with me, right? ❞

❝ I'm just trying to work this whole thing out. ❞

❝ I guess it's kinda like that movie, "Groundhog Day," only you're not Bill Murray. ❞

❝ If I were you, I would stop trying to figure out how it's happening and start figuring out why. ❞

❝ There has to be a reason you're stuck in this day. ❞

❝ You probably just had a bad dream. It happens to me whenever I drink too much. ❞

[wolvertooth]

can you plz hate rant about the deadpool & wolverine movie… saw it last week and i didn’t like it all… very refreshing to see that someone shares my opinion lmao

i got u man👍 most of this was in my drafts from after the movie came out, but i just never got around to posting it. i added some other opinions ive had since then, tho theres still a lot ive said over the past month that ive totally forgotten about lol

the intro sequence was fucking HYPE‼️ but then, part way thru the movie, u realize....it doesnt ever hit that same mark again. WHERE TF WAS THE HUGH JACKMAN SONG THEY PROMISED? the trailers showed 95% xmen origins clips. the movie didnt mention it once. no the brothers line doesnt count. false fucking advertising. deadpools sexuality has been confirmed since 2014. and now, 10 years later, its still being reduced to gay jokes. and people still eat it up like its genuine rep.

that guy at the tva who’s whole punchline was that he likes men. why. in 2024. why is that allowed. his whole character was a gay joke. i mean so was deadpool, but this guys whole thing was. That. can i say homophobia? can i say i felt that? is that reasonable? this movie felt like a fundraiser for the future avengers movies to make up for all the recent flops.

i watched this shit twice and yea. i was right. the plot was half assed. once u watch it once, thats it. thats the fun. its all just cameos. the jokes didnt even make me laugh again, since it was majority shock based humor. my second watch thru i was trying not to fall asleep in my chair. the way it lacks plot isnt in the Not Coherent kind of way, but rather 'this couldve been a 40 minute monster of the week episode'....or maybe even a 2 episodes if they wanted to get freaky with it it just felt so separate from the rest of the movies, like it wasnt even a sequel.

literally, the movie begins with them abandoning the previous timeline and wade moving to a new ‘better’ one.....almost like hes moving over to a more sacred timeline.........separate from fox.........which is dumb af cuz the movie couldve been him accepting that whatever happens in ur life u cant go back and change, and u have to make due with the good u already have. the previous movie ended with him having a family, he didnt need a new one. i mean, they did that for logans 'learning moment', why wouldnt that also apply to wade? paradox literally says ‘hey we brought u in cuz the mcu is dying, so u should come over to the sacred timeline’ and then after he changes into his costume THEY CHANGE THE PLOT. THEY THROW THAT OUT. WITHIN MINUTES. now paradox is like ‘actually just your timeline is dying, and i wont elaborate on how that works. and also u dont get to go to the sacred timeline. and i hate you.’ WHY BRING HIM THERE AT ALL THEN IF THATS THE PLOT U CHANGED IT TO? ITS DOESNT MAKE SENSE. even if the plot was that he had to go to the sacred timeline cuz his own was dying, WHY WOULDNT HE BE ABLE TO BRING HIS FRIENDS?

what was the vanessa plot? they never explain why she broke up with him? theres like a tiny flashback where she says hes been distracted ever since he got rejected, rejected from what? clearly not the avengers, since that happens after she leaves him. so wtf was the motive here????? the cameos felt like props. especially the deadpool corps, which i feel like they didnt even skim a wiki article for. they just went off google images. which hurt me. cuz i reallyyyyy like those guys....in the comics, theyre a group of deadpools(consisting of lady deadpool, kidpool, headpool, dogpool, and deadpool), who in their first series save the multiverse from being destroyed(sound familiar?). theyre the GOOD GUYS. why tf would they hear cassandra nova say ‘hey im gonna kill the entire multiverse’ and go ‘alright sure whatever’. why were they in the void to begin with? how’d they get there? isnt the void just for movie continuities anyway? why was cassandra also there? how does the void work? why does the void exist? will someone please explain literally anything in this movie? why not have them come in later to save the fucking day instead??

oh lady deadpool...how they massacred ur character... OH KIDPOOL.....HOW THEY MASSACRED UR CHARACTER...... god speaking of that. cassandra nova had literally so much potential and they watered her down to just Evil Villain. she hasnt done much in the comics, but one the things she did in one them was using her powers for therapy on the xmen(which deadpool also made a cameo in). she sort of does this briefly in that one scene, but it was just so.....basic. bland. why was there no b plot with the rest of the main cast. did they think the audience doesnt watch these movies for them? cuz i sure fucking do. i was waiting for the continuation of colossus and wades epic romance arc. side note, the gay jokes in the previous movies felt even less queerbaity then these ones. this movies queerbaiting was just....sad. marketing queerbaiting. this movie WISHES it couldve been deadpool 2 levels of queerbait(shoutout to the extended sex mimicking scene set to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel)

did anyone catch at the end when deadpool was narrating and when he said ‘friends’ yukio and negasonic teenage warhead were on screen. did anyone see that. they disney gal paled them.

i know wade is supposed to be the Funny Guy but man. thats literally all he was this movie. the other ones has ANGST they had him be HUMAN while this one was like 'logan was mean to me one time ):' bro. what happened. where'd the writers go.

this wolverine was like. the wolverine 2014 wolverine. which is when fox wolverine started to lose character and just become grumpy and mean. hes also like that in Logan 2017, but the reason why this kinda attitude works in that one is bcuz hes old, hes fucked up, hes tired, and every fuck that comes outta his mouth he means it. and yet....still manages to experience other emotions. what a concept. ive read literal satire comics that understood his character more(shoutout to the What The--?! series). it just had me waiting for the 'gotcha! this wolverine is actually 3 dimensional!' but it never fucking got there. it was amusing in the beginning, but by like half way in, i did not give a single fuck about this guy. they tried to give him some emotional moment(like. the only emotional moment in the entire film) but it just...lacked the emotion. just 'heres my sad backstory. are u sad now?' and then they did the SAME THING AGAIN no we get it man u were at the bar instead of with ur friends and u went on a classic wolverine style berserker rage. why should we care tho?

i mean, sure, they could use the excuse of being in the type of depressive state where ur emotions numb out(speaking as a mfer with the came curse), and yea hes not the kinda guy to open up about his emotions unless he really trusts someone(which he would likely distance himself from forming connections with others after that kind of trauma), but with cassandra nova right there there was a missed opportunity for elaborating on that. for digging deep into his brain and telling why this fucked him up so bad. imo, if i were to write it, with everyone he gets close to he puts upon the expectation for himself that hes at fault for anything that happens to them. that he needs to be the savior, even in a friendship. to prove himself to be worth something. especially after a life of being convinced hes a burden by just existing as himself, he needs to have use in order to make up for the fact that hes Logan.

but whos going to save him? isnt he struggling too? whos gonna help you? looking at all the other logans across the multiverse, who is the wolverine? why do you keep falling for the same patterns no matter where you are and who you are? deadpool called sabretooth queen and she/her'd logan within like 5 seconds of eachother. that was pretty good ig

final verdict:

yknow. i think i get now the way fans reacted the way they did tho.

the other night i was rewatching the movie Hackers with my mom, saying that it was obvious the creators mustve known a lot about hacking in order to do such a good parody of it, out of love for the craft….but my knowledge of hacking is pretty minimal, so i have no actual fucking clue if that assumption is accurate or not. im just going off of a ton of references to hacking. for all i know, real hackers couldve hated this movie.

and thats how the average non comic fan saw this movie. they saw a buncha characters and references and thought ‘damn, they must really love the source material’ without knowing how much of a kick in the face it felt like to watch them get used and butchered like that.

[shuttershocky]

Stranger of Paradise feels like a fever dream at times

That scene where they all meet each other was so bizarre I was confused. Just like that??? What IS this game I am playing

Stranger of Paradise's biggest surprise (besides it turning out to actually be a pretty cool love letter to Final Fantasy over the years) is that it somehow found a magic line that nobody knew existed between lazy writing, and brazen writing.

See in 99.9% of stories, if you see a guy walk up to two other guys, exchange two sentences ("I'm here to kill chaos. My name is Jack.") , and then claim they're all friends now, you'd be laughed out of the room for being the laziest writer alive.

But the way Stranger of Paradise executes its storytelling feels so cheap, so bizarre, so casual yet at the same time honest, that it disarms its audience and keeps them waiting for a punchline that isn't there, an acknowledgement that never comes.

Jack stomping out of the room with nothing but "bullshit" would ordinarily feel like a disservice. The player has their cutscene cut short and their investment into the world interrupted for the information that their protagonist is an impatient and surly dude. Usually, that sucks.

But Jack going "Bullshit", having earphones on, and then blasting Limp Bizkit on full volume as he stomps out, forcing the party to awkwardly follow him, and then making him take off his earphones afterward a walk so he can resume talking to them? What the fuck. Is this real? Is this actually what happens? Am I seeing a Youtube edit inside the actual game? You are busy pondering these things while waiting for the game to turn to you and wink but it never does. This is genuinely what Jack is like as a protagonist, and he's so effective at bamboozling you that you don't even have time to question how "good" the writing is. You're still swallowing what just happened and he's already moving the plot.

[lillxart]

Confessions

"Alright." Taliesin placed his hands on his hips. "Out with it."

"Out with what? ^^;" Snow White stepped off of the boat and onto the shore.

"Out with...whatever you've been keeping from me all evening. I know you're hiding something."

"Whaaaaaat? ^^; OVO;; H-Hiding? Nooooo I'm not hiding anything!"

Taliesin crossed his arms and gave the hagraven dragonborn a skeptical look. He stepped forward. "Really? You take me out to a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, shopping at one of my favorite stores in Alinor, and then find the perfect spot in a grotto to go out on a boat stargazing for no reason at all? Please, I know you're more mischievous than that." He laughed. "So? What's the joke? What's the punchline? Don't tell me we're going on some world-ending quest tomorrow morning and you're buttering me up to bring me along?"

"Ahaha...! ^^;" Snow White had no response. She can see why he'd think she'd be planning something. After all she's never showed him this kind of attention before. Well, she has, but not all at once on the same day...

Taliesin playfully rolled his eyes and poked her nose. "You know, you don't have to bribe me to go along with you. I've spent nearly a year dealing with your insanity. I don't see a reason why I'd flee now~ I believe I said I'd follow you to Sovangarde and back, if you'd have me. I'm not a Mer to go back on my word~"

"Taliesin..." She melted at his words. Her heart beating a mile a minute, a blush rising to her cheeks. Snow White tried, she desperately tried to keep her feelings in, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be a dragon? Why did she attain divinity through the kind of creature that, by nature, suppression of any desire was akin to madness? Dragons are meant to be primordial beings with an insatiable urge to conquer and dominate. To ignore that divine right would be…well…nearly impossible. Unfortunately, that rule also applies to strong feelings like love. Suppressing how much she loves Taliesin has brought her to a boiling point, and she can’t keep the lid on the pot anymore. “I–I love you!”

She said it. 

Oh gods…she actually; she actually said it…! 

Taliesin was stunned, or at least, Snow White thought he was. Taliesin wasn’t saying anything, his eyes still fixed on her face. “I don’t know for how long, or even when it started. I–It just…it just happened. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself! And it’s not just ‘oh I love this about you or, I love that about you’. It’s…It’s…everything. I love everything about you!” The witch detailed everything she loved about Taliesin. How snarky he was, how confident he was, his ironic humor, bad dancing, and love of dad jokes. His tenderness towards animals, how serious he gets about food presentation, how his eyes trail off to dessert before he’s finished dinner and how articulate and critical he is when it comes to flower arrangements that little laugh he does after he finishes off an enemy…

But it wasn’t just his good points, she loved his bad points too. She loved how he had to gain that confidence over time because of the rough childhood he had, she loved how that very snarkiness he developed was meant to be a shield against the cruelty that he faced in his life. She loved how his love of dad jokes was probably born from the period in time where he had few friends, and probably had bouts of social awkwardness. She didn’t love how he viewed himself, but what set her heart on fire were all the ways she could shower him in love to try and make up for it.

Snow White rambled on, getting more nervous by the second, her eyes became manic and her hands felt clammy. The more she tried to talk about him the more tongue tied she became. It wasn’t just one thing that she liked about him. It wasn’t a quality, a personality trait, it was just him in all of his being. Taliesin down to his very soul, she loved. Good or bad, if it was him then she adored it. Describing that was hard, but she tried her best. “So…um…” Her eyes were wide, winded from her confession. A look of terror was on her face, fully expecting a rejection. “I–I know it’s…a…lot ^^; E–Eheh! I mean, I know you don’t feel the same way about me! Wh–Why would you? I’ll just um…” Snow took a step back, turning her eyes away from him.

@dynamite124

(Here it is! :>)

[the-letterbox-archives]

archival file 350180-126[1] (tag game)

i am beginning to work through these oc questionnaires, so consider this part 1! thank you @fenmere and @ominous-feychild for the questions for round 1!

i will be using laszlo, ven, and dulcinea for the first 6 questions!

q1. “what is your favourite thing to do to avoid responsibility?”

laszlo

“As much as I love the extra responsibility, I sometimes find it best to engage whoever wants me to undertake extra work with an interesting conversation. It works especially well on Father. As much as he claims to hate politics, it gets him talking!”

ven

“Sleep. That’s… pretty much all I’ve ever done, and nobody bothered me with ‘responsibility’ then.”

dulcinea

“Leave. Well, can you blame me? Sometimes I need to reset. And the stars are really pretty, I can’t be away from them for too long, anyway.”

q2. “if you could choose anyone in your world to be your sibling, who would it be?”

laszlo

“Andrei! He’s my first and only friend, I would be honoured to be his brother.”

ven

“So far, the people I’ve met don’t really seem like ‘sibling’ material, to say the least.”

dulcinea

“What’s a sibling? Doesn’t matter, the only person I know is mum, so...”

q3. “what is the most sublime thing you have ever eaten, and why?”

laszlo

“Well, everything I eat is of the highest quality in Miyokav, but I quite like gryphon meat! Though, I don’t think I’ll ever be drinking wine again, heh…”

ven

“I don’t think I need to eat… Maybe I should check that…”

dulcinea

“We eat the same thing every day, but I like it. Non-perishable slop really has an acquired taste, but I’ve had eighteen years to develop that taste.”

q4. “what was the worst day of your life?”

laszlo

“You’d expect me to say the day I was almost assassinated, but no! No, there was another experience, as long ago as it was. In fact, the more I think about it, the less I remember… On second thought, can we skip this question? I’m a bit lightheaded…”

ven

“The day I woke up. That’s not to say it was a particularly bad day, it was just the first day I’ve ever felt anything other than nothing.”

dulcinea

“Every day feels the same to me, honestly. I can’t really keep track of time anymore. I remember tiny fragments of Earth, but not enough to be a real memory. I think my worst day would be leaving Earth.”

q5. “what’s your worst nightmare?”

laszlo

“Losing everything I’ve ever held dear because of the Promise. I fear the worst every year, but I can feel everyone’s hope fade further as the tithes increase.”

ven

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a nightmare… Oh, it’s metaphorical? Okay, uh, maybe not knowing who I am. Is that a worst nightmare if it’s already happening?”

dulcinea

“Losing mum. I know it has to happen someday, but I just… don’t wanna think about it.”

q6. “if a monster asked you your worst nightmare, what would you tell it and why?”

laszlo

“Foolish to assume my people don’t worship monsters already. If a god asked me my worst nightmare, I would lie. What lie, I’m not certain, but I would never let them know they hold any power over me.”

ven

“It couldn’t really use the information against me, and I don’t have the wit to lie…”

dulcinea

“I’d say something like ‘seeing you alive,’ then I’d punch it in the face. Bad lie, I know, but it’s the punchline that counts.”

np tagging @introchasingstars, @honeybewrites, @paeliae-occasionally, @the-golden-comet,

@noxxytocin, @moltenwrites, @tc-doherty, @the-ellia-west, @theverumproject,

@thecrazyalchemist, @laylathewordwitch, @dragonedged-if, @leitereads, @autism-purgatory,

@gioiaalbanoart, @drchenquill, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @melpomene-grey,

@yourpenpaldee, @corinneglass, @agirlandherquill, @willtheweaver, @nczaversnick,

@davycoquette, @glassfrogforest, @princeofhags, @wyked-ao3, @fantasy-things-and-such, + open tag!

[fea-the-grinch]

This AU's been in my docs for at least a year, and I thought it might be funny to post the little headcanons and incorrect quotes I have for it ! It's really not a lot, but it makes me laugh every time (seeing Rosa and Gina bicker is very enjoyable, in my opinion). I'll probably never write a fanfiction about it, but I may come back to add or change little bits of this post over time.

Hope some of you will enjoy it (and see the vision) !

In a Dianetti childhood “enemies” to friends to lovers! AU where Rosa and Gina went to middle school together (with the rest of B99) and, at first, hated each other:

Headcanons

Gina never once called Rosa “ugly” or whatever word like that, because no matter how she was angry at Rosa, she always recognized that the girl was beautiful in every way. 

Young! Rosa says mean things as a defense mechanism when she feels like someone is coming too close to her.

When they were little, Gina and Rosa couldn’t stand to be together in the same room, though they had to. Yet, even when they didn’t have to be, they searched each other.

They practiced and became very good at comebacks after all the years spent throwing punchlines at each other.

Progressively, the animosity that existed between them disappeared, and after one random summer, they willingly spent time with each other, in and out of school. 

Gina fell first and realized first. However, she didn’t think her feelings were right, perhaps not because of what her peers would think, but because of self-rooted issues, so she stayed silent about them (or maybe her dad was a homophobic jerk who instilled in her that she would be judged negatively by others, and that they might choose not to be around her anymore because of that).

Rosa took her time, and even when she realized it, she didn’t want to believe it. She denied it.

“I feel like there is more to you than what you let anyone see. And I wanna stay close to see it, to see what happens when you finally accept that part of you.”

Incorrect quotes to show the vibes 

Rosa, walking into a room: Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gina, out of breath: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

/

Gina: I’m quick at math. 

Rosa: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? 

Gina: 24. 

Rosa: That wasn’t even close. 

Gina : But it was quick.

/

Gina: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Rosa: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Gina: Buzzzzz. Hum, the buzzer says you’re wrong.

/

Rosa: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Gina: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Rosa: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

/

Gina: Must be hard not being able to laugh.

Rosa: I do have a sense of humor you know.

Gina: I’ve never heard you laugh before.

Rosa: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

/

Gina: Hey, are you okay? 

Rosa: Yeah. 

Gina: You don't look okay... 

Rosa: Then stop looking.

/

Gina: Rosa is playing hard to get. 

Gina: Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

/

Rosa: I have issues. 

Gina: Finally, you admit it! So, the first step to redemption is accept- 

Rosa: With you.

/

Rosa: This is getting embarrassing. 

Gina: Getting? We’re already there!

/

Gina: If we lose, you’re out of the will. 

Rosa: I was in the will? You have a will ? 

/

Raymond and Kevin, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. 

Amy: Good afternoon! 

Jake: Hi. 

Rosa: Hello. 

Charles: Hey! 

Kevin: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! 

Terry: Sorry, I tried to stop them.

Gina: Sorry not sorry, we were out of Doritos!