#it has several triggers so don't read it if you have any

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

[wordstome]

how c.ai works and why it's unethical

Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.

The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.

How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].

I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.

"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."

Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.

(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)

Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:

It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.

C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.

Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.

DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.

(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)

[lastoneout]

Hey @ my fellow bitches and besties who deal with a lot constipation/gas/bloating because of IBS or other digestive issues!!

Did you know there's a way to deal with it at home on your own without medication?? Because my doctor sure didn't fucking tell me about this!! But I just tried it because my gas always makes me SO fucking nauseous that I can barely function and it takes like an hour for my nausea and IBS meds to kick in, but I always feel the urge to rub my stomach when I'm bloated, so my Wikipedia boyfriend ass googled it and YEP MASSAGING IS BACKED UP BY SCIENCE.

The article does say to not do this if you have recently had abdominal surgery, but here's the method:

"To perform abdominal massage on yourself.

Lie flat on your back with your belly exposed.

Overlap your hands on your lower belly and hold them here as you focus on your breath.

Warm your hands by rubbing them together for about 30 seconds.

Apply any oils that you’re using.

Use the palm of your hand to massage your entire stomach in a clockwise direction several times.

Then massage the centerline of your abdomen, starting below your sternum and ending at your pubic bone.

Do three more lines an inch apart down the left side of the abdomen.

Do the same on the right side of the abdomen.

Then press your fingers into your navel firmly.

Continue massaging with gentle pressure and circle outward from your navel in a clockwise direction.

You can spend extra time on specific areas or trigger points that feel like they need some extra attention.

Do this for up to 20 minutes.

If you don’t feel comfortable massaging yourself, you can also have your abdomen massaged by a massage therapist. Call before you make your appointment to see if the therapist performs abdominal massage. Not all masseuses provide this service."

I also found a slightly different one from the University of Michigan!

"Massaging your stomach can help to move stool along the inside of your colon. It may help relieve symptoms of tightness, pressure, cramping, and bloating.

Start on the right side of your stomach down by the bone of your pelvis.

Rub in a circular motion lightly up to the right side till you reach your rib bones.

Move straight across to the left side.

Work your way down to the left to the hip bone and back up to the belly button for 2-3 minutes.

Rub with your fingertips in a circular motion. You may press a little deeper with your fingers.

Spend about 1 minute moving from the right hip bone to the right ribs then 1 minute across the middle (gently) and then 1 minute down to the left bone by your pelvis to the belly button.

Repeat rub, always in a clockwise motion, for 10 minutes."*

I was literally so nauseous from being bloated that I couldn't even swallow food without feeling like I was going to puke, but I did the second one just sitting up at my desk, clockwise like they both said(I'm assuming bcs that's the direction things travel through your gut) and within like 2 minutes I felt better. I cannot BELIEVE no one has ever recommended this. Fucking life-changing. I used to just sit there and drink sprite and hope it was over soon and now I don't have to do that!! And if people already know about this that's good but like, again, no one EVER told me about this so if this can help even ONE person who struggles like I do I'll consider it a win!

Also, for clarification, I'm not advocating ditching your meds obvs, I just know it takes a while for pills to kick in and I don't think people should have to be miserable while they wait when there's something easy you can do to get some quick relief.

(*I added more bullet points to the second method because the wall of text was a little hard to read.)

[thatdeadaquarius]

GREETINGS! How are you doing? I've been practically gobbling up your posts (there very tasty)

Ok so hear me out- I've seen a couple posts like this but imagine-

The almighty all powerful wise creator isss

✨️A literal child✨️

Thanks for hearing me out! For you ->->❤️

Baby you taking on the world aw

DAMN SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER!! i started fics before i answered my askbox :/

Aw i fucking love child reader stuff,

Lots of isekai animes/manhwa/manga do it and i eat that shit up everytime-

I also deeply appreciate when its not done creepily, like being turned 8 again, and having crushes on others who are... yknow, actually 8 yrs old or sm fucked up shit, like even if its 16 yr olds that doesnt make it any better, bc the protag will actually be like,, actually 20?!?!💀 the straights r wild man, i feel like it happens either way too, like its usually a male MC but thats just bc theyre more common tbh, like regardless of gender of protag 🥲

☆

Sun: Child God Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Short Headcanons

Stars: Mondstadt ppl bc i don't show them i love them enough

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment any I missed. /gen

Klee has recruited converted you to throwing bombs with her.

You are the only leash on that child too and the only thing standing between Jean and full head of gray hair. 💀

Kaeya doesn’t know whether he’s endlessly worried or endlessly amused that the most powerful god is currently a child

if Jean isnt freaking out over ur whereabouts, Diluc is instead, and worst case scenario, Noelle/Lisa/Albedo is in charge of you

and YES someone has to look out for you, bc ur ass will just start making a hot springs spot like ur in ur teapot or smth in dragonspine (Albedo was fascinated it stayed warm despite the weather so he let you make it/enjoy it before asking u to restore natural order lol)

(Albedo has definitely asked to study you and, unfortunately for Jean, asked u to demonstrate several powers u have)

You do work as a lucky charm for Bennett tho so he does babysit u sometimes

it mostly consists of Fischl, Benny, and Razor “adventuring” by trying to do smth like who can jump on the Anemo slimes and ride them around longest

(the answer is you btw, u managed to get a small fleet of them to bus you around, the teens were simultaneously terrified running around below u to catch you and also amazed)

Noelle is so happy making toddler you all the pancakes you can eat, Sucrose had to stop her from going overboard and not just listening completely to kids when it comes to food

She is now very concerned with making you a balanced diet, tho she will still make u an ungodly tall stack of pancakes every now and then <3

They kind of all equally provide for you, obv ur their god, and ur a literal cutie patootie child, they cant just leave you

(also u might like move a mountain or change the weather or smth if they don't watch you so most are a little paranoid of that too)

Lisa gets u all kinds of cute outfits, still stuff you'd like, but definitely snuck in some sumeru looking clothing lol

Fischl lends you all kinds of books to read, Bennett shows u all the cool views in the city and outside of it (when Jean lets him get away with taking u that far), and Razor…

Razor brings you to Andrius and the wolf pack for a wolf pack party and gives u all kinds of shiny trinkets he’d collected for you

Diluc/Jean/Noelle/Eula nearly had a heart attack when they found out

Amber lets you have all the piggyback rides you want lol

she even managed with her own crafting powers (and your probably editing the game code or smth) she somehow makes a reinforced glider with a small harness on the back for you to glide with her

(Venti has definitely helped for some fun flights by boosting the winds for you two)

SPEAKING OF BARBATOS

ur absolutely spoiled rotten by him (and Dvalin, and Andrius, and the wind sprites)

if this god had money he’d spend it on wine and you lol

takes u flying all the time, any time, would drop everything to go to Mondstadt wilds and use his archon form wings to take you wherever you wanna go

tries to bring u to Angel’s Share but Diluc nearly hits him on the head with a wine bottle and brings you back home after kicking Venti out and giving you grape juice (yes you get all you want, within a healthy amount)

anyway the most important part abt you being a god and child is that you can now fulfill your childhood dreams of riding a dragon whenever you want

(one way to quickly get Mondstadt citizens to trust Dvalin again was just constantly seeing him flying overhead, occasionally seeing a small child on his back also helped lol)

(neither you nor Venti tell Jean you ride Dvalin and keep it an active secret from her.)

☆

srry i took so long! i hope u liked my hot mess of writing (i think its even sloppier than usual bc of all the fic writing full sentences lately)

and if not, I'm sorrryyy 😭😭

I'm focusing on getting thru a haul of asks before getting around to posting that Eldritch AU Part 2 if anyone reads this :)

hope u guys are have a great weekend, thanks for all the birthday wishes!! :D

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[toxicanonymity]

For context, a tumblr account has been posting anon hate for the past week or so, mostly toward writers. A parasocial hater of mine discovered the account and has been going to town. I posted this after they invoked Israel as an analogy. Yes really.

Obviously I am disgusted by what I just read, and floored that anyone would post such a deranged analogy in the interest of stirring up fandom drama. I'm very sorry to everyone who has been attacked and everyone who has witnessed all this. Others have posted about the situation as a whole, and I'm not sure what I could add. But I want you to know many of these "confessions" are from one individual who has been fixated on me (and probably others) for weeks if not months. I already had the following in my drafts:

warning: please don't read this if you're sensitive to hate or could be triggered by the trivialization of real abuse. (edit: they went on to trivialize genocide too but they'll pretend to be different people). there's also a really gross anatomical reference.

the screenshots are all after I blocked them.

I normally don't address things like this, but that's because I'm trying to keep it off your dash and off my blog (for several reasons including not wanting to give the hate a larger audience). Normally I block/delete. But thanks to a blog dedicated to posting anon hate, some of this is already on the dash, and I thought some additional context could be illuminating.

a couple weeks ago, this person chimed in on my non-fandom post, and their comment made me uncomfortable. I checked to see if they followed me and they didn't, plus their blog tagline was antagonistic. I was confident they weren't being earnest. I replied, pointing out my issue with their comment and asking them to keep their thoughts to themselves rather than coming at me from a sideblog. I thought they must have followed me from a main account since they somehow found an untagged, unreblogged post without following me. But I now realize they were simply hate checking my blog.

(Blocked the burner too)

They were saying this last bit preemptively - I've never talked about stalkers here. I didn't include all their anons, just enough to show they clearly out themselves as being the same person. In other "confessions," they make repeated references to a former fandom writer they idolize (not me) who they also posted about on their blog.

I won't be dropping this creep's url in this post, but I had never heard of them. This week they have repeatedly changed their url, display name, and blog appearance. Their writing is recognizable and I believe they are responsible for the unhinged asks preceding katy's departure from tumblr. They also made a rude comment on her post.

This may only aggravate them. I expect them to hurl any lies and accusations they can think of toward me. They will act like they're laughing and amused, too. You may recognize their tone. I want to trust this fandom not to believe and repeat anything they hear, but unfortunately my experience in this fandom leaves me pessimistic.

I can only hope people use common sense at this point.

Note - I know I'm normally really private about everything, but you're welcome to share this. Their lies are already out there anyway. Also feel free to DM me and I will tell you what you want to know.

Update: the anon-hate account referred to above has deactivated. It was named pedgeconfessions. It wasn't the first to pop up this summer and may not be the last.

[thavron]

So I think I've cracked this moment.

So this moment has bothered me. I've seen several people say this is Crowley breaking up with Aziraphale, but I think it has a different meaning. I think he's saying, "I understand."

Hear me out.

It was actually listening to the song Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy that caused me to have a little epiphany. I love how it's juxtaposed over Crowley rushing back to Aziraphale, indicating that he is the Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, but there is more to it.

That song was released in 1976, which is a time when being gay or being queer of any kind was deeply frowned upon. Though laws in the UK banning same sex relationships had been lifted by this time, for consenting adults over the age of 21. Freddie explicitly coming out at this time was something that could have ended his career. Freddie danced with the media on this one, hinted but was never forthright and kept his romantic life largely under wraps. This is something that queer people did in general and had to do well into the 90s. They flirted in code, they romanced behind closed doors. They kept their love out of sight.

Much like our Ineffable Husbands.

Editing to add- that the reason this triggered something for me, is that despite the secrecy, Freddie Mercury got up on stage and sang a song about a man taking another man out on a date at the Ritz. Everyone knew. Just no one knew knew. And it wasn't enough to end his career. Much like our Ineffable Husbands. Everyone knows, including them. Just no one says a thing about it.

Which brings me back to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.

This song is about one magical night. A couple meet, fall in love, feel the magic of their romance, and then as the sun comes up they go home. It is something like a dream that has to be let go with the harsh light of day. But there is hope, because sometimes they can hear the echo of the nightingale. A promise perhaps to meet again.

So I think it is widely assumed that there is more to the 1941 flashback. I tend to concur. I think we will see the origin of why this song is important to them. I suspect the song is about them. They have one magical night, where they are both brave and express their love for each other. But then the sun comes up and they realise that they have to go back to their lives. I think they will acknowledge that the incident with the zombies was a close call, and they need to cool off and stay away from each other. Slow down.

So 1967 is the first time they have seen each other since. They both know how they feel, they're just waiting for the right time. They shouldn't have met at all, except Aziraphale wants to give Crowley the holy water. I think that explains the awkwardness but also their softness toward each other. It's a meeting of lovers, but the time isn't right just yet. No nightingales are singing. That's what Aziraphale means by "You go too fast for me." Not yet, it's too soon. We're still under suspicion.

So the end of season one, the world is not over and our ineffable husbands are free. What do they do? They go for date at the Ritz. You can not tell me this is not a date. Sorry, don't believe you. "The Ritz is the most romantic hotel in the world." It's like their whole selling point. It's why it pops up in the lyrics of Berkley Square, and also in the lyrics of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. It's the place where magic happens. And for me, the playing of the song, and the reference from God herself, it's saying the time is right. They can finally be together again. This is their moment.

So Season Two. I've read reviews of season two where people liken it to fanfiction. Neil calls it is a bridge season. I think it's the dream. Not actually a dream, I don't think Neil is that unoriginal. But in the song they liken that one magical night to a dream. It's a fantasy that they get to live until the sun comes up. They get to live their dream for four years. They are together and they are in love but they are still living in secret. They still don't acknowledge it. They're still holding back. One of the themes in this series is timing is everything. Maggie and Nina's relationship doesn't work because timing. The magic trick worked the time it mattered. Timing is important, and the ineffable husbands are bad at it. They should have thrown themselves into this but they were too cautious and they missed their chance.

I think this conversation is when Crowley realises. Not that he is love with Aziraphale, that was established in 1941. But that everyone knows anyway. There is no reason to hide. No one cares that they're an item. Aziraphale has a similar epiphany after his chat with Shax. So they both decide to move the relationship along, but damn do they have bad timing.

Now I am as confused and heart broken as anyone about the final fifteen. And I am certain that there is something that we are not seeing, a trick that we've missed. There are six minutes unaccounted for. Neil says its a continuity error, but he's demon, he lies.

So here is what I think, and why this line "that's the point, no nightingales" is important. At some point during that conversation Crowley catches on. Whether they have a moment of stopped time, or the fact that Aziraphale is acting so utterly unhinged, there is something that happens that we don't see and it clues him in. He is hurt and angry yes, but he understands. What he is understanding is that the dawn came stealing up, and that the interlude is over. The nightingales stopped singing, and they have to go back to work. He gets it and that's how he lets Aziraphale know.

"You're an idiot, we could have been us." He doesn't like the plan, whatever it is. He thinks running would have been preferable, but he is resigned to it.

Then that kiss. One last goodbye just in case the world ends? Desperate longing and years of pent up frustration? I don't think the trick is here. I think this is misdirection. We're all looking at the kiss, we missed the coded message that came right before. I think "No nightingales" may also suggest that this isn't the kiss. The romantic kiss will come later, when the nightingales sing again. And they will, of that I'm certain now.

The song playing in the car, a message from Aziraphale or from the Bentley reminding him to have hope. Two things we know about Crowley. He is an optimist. He loves to rescue his angel. We also know that he is the trusted stooge with the steady hand. Aziraphale will perform the theatrics, he will do the rest. The fact that he waited and didn't just storm off like he did when he was rejected in series 1 tells Aziraphale that he is still here. He's still in this.

That's my interpretation anyway.

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ MINE TO SHARE: SHANKS (+???)

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "You were Shanks's the moment he laid his eyes on you. But sometimes he needs to remind you that you being his means he can do whatever he wants with you."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : AMAB! READER, CIS MALE! READER, MALE READER! SMUT! MLM, HOMO SEX (I laugh at this) GAY SEX (laugh again), DUB-CON, NON-CONSENSUAL EXHIBITIONISM (Shanks shows the reader sexy photos without him knowing, the reader is watched during sex without being asked) in this story the reader LIKES all the things that are did with him, even the exhibitionism, if you have any trauma or trigger with that don't read. ASSHOLE BOSS (NOT SHANKS) just a mention of a former idiotic boss, hidden romantic relationships, unlabeled relationship, relationship between boss and employee

꒰ CONTAINS ꒱ : Shanks is mean and soft at the same time but probably more mean, Benn and all of Shanks' friends know you two are fucking, you might want to fuck his friends too, office sex, risk of getting caught, getting caught, makeshift handcuffs and a lot of dirty talk.

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,3k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : lol o only notice how much warnings I always put, I just want to put everything that can make someone uncomfortable because I hate read a fic when they don't put warning in something and that's get me triggered. Okay so, PLEASE IF YOU ARE A WOMEN DON'T REALLY READ THIS, IT'S NOT ONLY INTERACT DON'T READ, IF I SEE ANY FEM BLOG IN THIS STORY I GONNA BLOCK YOU AND IM SERIOUS

You didn't remember exactly how you got there. Sitting on your boss's lap with his dick so deep in your ass you could feel it reaching your throat. Shanks' hands grabbed your ass hard, squeezing and slapping so hard that made you jump in fright. He used all his strength and the advantage of his size to guide you bouncing on his huge cock, your legs were already wobbly and shaking so all you could do was accept him using you like a toy and fucking you nonstop.

Every time Shanks fucked you he had a different rhythm, which was always decided by his mood that day. Today you weren't sure what the redhead's mood was, but he fucked you with deep and strong thrusts that made you roll your eyes and tremble with each blow, he hit your prostate so accurately and filled your insides so perfectly that you genuinely wondered how you was able to cumming with other partners before Shanks. It seemed impossible for someone to be able to give you pleasure like him.

Of course you were also a mess, thanks to that, you had your head thrown back moaning his name or resting on his shoulder or forehead, moaning breathlessly and begging softly for more. Your hands were dug into his shoulder, scratching so hard that even without big nails you knew there would be marks left for a few days, your head was already hurting and there was a little drool running down the corner of your lips... You looked pathetic, but in the end you liked being humiliated and Shanks liked humiliating you, it was the perfect combination.

You had only entered Shanks' office to give him some reports for the week, he was in his chair with his back to the door facing the huge glass wall that gave him a view of the entire city, advantages of being extremely rich and being able to work on the highest floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city. He was strangely silent and all he asked of you was to come over and deliver the reports... Of course, most of his visits to Shanks' office didn't just end with a conversation between boss and employee.

The truth is that your relationship with the redhead has always been… complicated. It all started when you saw him in person for the first time at a meeting between several city executives disguised as a gala party, at that time you were just an apprentice following your boss and his main secretary like a scared puppy. Your boss was terrible and liked to torture all his employees with the excuse of being an iron training that only the best went through, but he hid this from the spotlight and loved to brag as a boss that no job would leave, taking pride in his loyalty of each of its employees.

Shanks, as always, was a brat at these parties, his social reputation was one of the worst but everyone pretended not to know given how incredible his business empire was, even though he was known for scandals and even visits to countless police stations, the redhead was treated like an angel by everyone the other businessmen who pretended not to know anything about his antics. For some reason you caught his attention, throughout the party where you basically served as a personal waiter for your boss, you felt Shanks staring at you with a predatory gaze ready to grab his prey and run away.

You were still very insecure at that time, you had just left college and your career wasn't going exactly as you planned, maybe that's why you avoided his gaze so much at the beginning. When your boss and Shanks finally spoke, the redhead made no attempt to hide that he was paying attention solely to you and not the ugly old man who was desperate for a business deal. This obviously infuriated his boss who spilled wine on his clothes claiming to have been an oversight. When you kindly excused yourself to go to the bathroom to resolve the situation your boss's secretary simply whispered that you didn't need to go back to the party, when you looked at him confused he just rolled his eyes and said gruffly “you're out”.

This made you swallow deeply and run to the bathroom, you already had a terrible job even if it was in a renowned place and now you had been fired for attracting the attention of a billionaire who you never even dreamed of being in the same room with?! All you could do was rub your wine-stained shirt as you cried and cursed to the tenth generation of your stupid boss and anyone who worked for him. While you were lost in your own world you were unable to notice Shanks entering the bathroom and looking at you with concern.

That night many things happened, you were fired, humiliated, you received a job offer from Shanks who had one of the most successful industries in the country and you also received a small hope that your professional future could work out. The months went by and at some point you and Shanks were already in this arrangement, you weren't even close to being boyfriends, even though he had never had another partner and even though he had never forbidden you from having one, he hated seeing you with anyone else other than him. Your friends joked that Shanks was your sugar daddy since he always gave you money and gifts, but since he never asked for anything in return, not even sex, it didn't seem like the label for you either.

You were something, besides of course friends, but you weren't very determined to find out. You were afraid of falling in love only to find out that Shanks only saw you as a fuck buddy or worse, finding out that Shanks was in love and you only saw him as a fuck buddy! You had sleepless nights thinking about it but little by little you simply gave up making everything difficult. You loved fucking Shanks and Shanks loved fucking you, there was no reason to try to put feelings in or out of this arrangement, as long as it worked for both of you then it was perfect.

Shanks continued fucking you while you faced the office door with your head resting on his shoulder, you lowered your claws to his arm and continued holding him as if you were going to die without his support. He whispered praises and curses every time you leaned into his lap and made his cock all the way inside you, your own cock was twitching on your stomach, your pants were thrown somewhere and your white shirt was open so at least you wouldn't get your clothes dirty. You needed to come so badly, but Shanks' slow pace didn't give you enough stimulation, if he just let you masturbate you could have gotten there, but he liked torturing you.

“Shanks! Please! I! Oh! Shit!" You moaned choppy, disjointed words as you tried to increase your speed, but Shanks' strong hands kept you right where he wanted you.

“Huh? I didn't hear you boy, say it again” He said breathlessly and gave a light bite to your exposed neck “Say how you want my dick to make you see stars, say how you want to be my good boy and cum so much you'll get dirty both of us, tell me” the redhead’s dirty talk always made your belly twitch and your dick leak more, you were losing control and he was loving taking advantage of it.

“Oh! Shanks! Please! I need… Fuck! Faster!" You moaned louder as you felt him slowly increasing his speed, you were ready to beg again when you heard some knocks on the door and Shanks' electronic warning ringing, alerting you that there was someone at the door wanting a meeting with him. “S-Shanks! Stop! There is somebody!"

You tried to get off of him and give him a few pats so he would get the hint and at least he would give you the chance to hide in the bathroom instead of getting caught by someone while fucking your boss. But Shanks didn't seem to care, he quickly turned the chair, turning towards the door and leaving you facing the glass wall, and instead of slowing down or even letting you go, he simply gave your ass a hard slap as he started thrusting into you like the world was ending. He was moving in and out so fast that you became unable to speak, only letting out desperate screams and moans at the sudden increase in stimulation.

“Shit… Don’t squeeze me so much boy… Come in! Come in quickly Benn, I'm kinda busy” He shouted the last part and you tried again to fight Shanks, only to receive an annoyed growl from him as he took off his own tie and used it to tie your wrists behind your back in a clumsy and quick way, but still firm enough for you to be unable to escape. “Stop running away you brat! You came here to get fucked in my office and now you don’t want anyone to see you?” He smiled mischievously when he saw your embarrassed face and the tears of humiliation that were about to fall.

"Stop!" You sniffled at him and hid your face in his neck, you heard the door opening and you knew that soon Benn, the vice CEO and someone who had as much power as Shanks, would be able to see you bouncing on the redhead's dick like a real whore.

"To stop? But I feel you clenching around my cock…” he chuckled at you and stroked your back gently “You're acting like you hate this… But I see how you look at my men, you perverted boy, I'm sure you'd love it getting fucked by all of us at the same time, right? After all, all that’s going on in that stupid little head of yours is being filled with cock in all your holes, right?” He laughed teasingly and when you just whimpered without responding he finally seemed to get angry, so he grabbed your penis tightly, squeezing its sensitive head. “I asked a fucking question.”

You just screamed, feeling the ecstasy overwhelm you to the point where your vision went black and you felt your whole body go limp, you had just cum in Shanks' hand just from his dirty words and tight grip on his sensitive and neglected dick. You fell against him crying and panting, your dick trembled as it continued to leak some more cum, Shanks simply laughed and stopped fucking you, letting you calm down slowly.

“Did you see that Benn? He simply came when I accused him of wanting to be fucked by all of us” Shanks laughed at that as if it were a joke and you almost forgot that the other man had entered the room, but now you could smell his cigarette and his malicious laugh.

“S-Shanks…” you begged whimpering as you tried to hide against his body, you had no idea what you were asking for, but it was clear that Shanks always knew you and your body much better than you knew yourself.

“Hmmm… I would even let it go this time, but you hid this beautiful spectacle of you cumming, didn’t you feel sorry for Benn? He came here and missed the entire show…” he said a little more gently as he rubbed his nose against your hair “Now I can’t just let you go and leave my friend empty handed… Besides, you didn’t even make me cum… No, No, you were really a bad boy…”

You no longer had the strength to argue or fight against the redhead, he quickly grabbed you and turned you around to face Benn. Now you were a complete and pathetic exposure, Shanks' cock was still thrusting deep into you, your own cock was a little soft, already extremely tired after having an intense orgasm, your abdomen was dirty with your cum and your entire body was dripping with sweat. You had a tired and cloudy look, a face that was drunk but kept begging for more and more.

Shanks smiled and grabbed your face with his hand, squeezing your cheek as he whispered in your ear “Open that mouth wide and stick your tongue out my boy… Give them a good look” you did as he said as he was squeezing her cheeks and forcing your mouth open. You hadn't understood what he was planning, your head too tired and confused to try and guess the man's plans.

It was only when you heard the click and flash of your cell phone that you realized, Benn was in front of you with his own cell phone and had just taken a picture of you practically naked being fucked on your boss's lap. The damage and scandals that a photo like that could cause made you feel sick, but luckily Benn's mischievous smile and his hard penis over his dress pants indicated that his goal wasn't to destroy your life.

“How was it?” Shanks asked the gray-haired man playfully.

“Perfect, you weren't lying when you said that his face when he cum was perfect… Huh, Hongo is going to love this…” He quickly placed his cell phone on Shanks' desk and approached you.

“Now… My brat” Shanks kissed your cheek and smiled against you making your whole body shiver “Why don’t I show you that you belong to me completely to the point where I can do whatever I want with you?” He offered with a smile, “And by ‘whatever you want’ I obviously mean sharing… After all, you’re a good pet and you’re not going to let Benn go so hard, are you?”

You didn't need to answer for the two older men to start smiling, everyone knew you never refused an order from Shanks.

[tan1shere]

Hi! So if you’re comfortable with it i’d love to request Professor!Billie x reader. I love how in “Her Favorite” Billie asks if Reader is okay and if she needs anything. So what if Reader is quiet and shy but is sh-ing maybe Billie sees scars on her arm? Idk just super fluffy and angsty. Again please only write it if you’re comfortable with the request. Have a great day and thank you for your amazing writing 💕

My priority

A/n: yes ofc !! Thank you for checking angel, I'm more than ok with writing this :) I hope you enjoy <3

Warnings - mentions of self harm, cuts ??, and depression, so please don't read if it's triggering in any way !

Masterlist

Another draining day at this hell hole of a college. You dreaded it each day you just wanted to stay in bed and hide from everyone. You go to your first class of the day, wearing oversized everything as you couldn't care less you just wanted to be comfortable. You take a seat at the back, out of everyone's way. When you accidentally bump into someone. "Sorry." You say timidly. "Watch where you're going." They say bluntly. You sigh hoping this day doesn't drag on too much.

Nearing the end of this class, you couldn't be more happier. Although you loved your professor. She was the kindest person, and honestly made it a lot less horrible. Everyone has already left, like always you are the last to leave. "Bye Ms O'Connell." You give her a gentle smile. She does the same. "Bye sweetheart, have a good day." You blush slightly, she always made you so nervous. Did you have a slight crush on her?

Fast forward a few weeks and you were having the worst day known to man. You had woken up late, burned your tongue. Every little thing seemed to happen, badly. Setting your whole mood off. You had even forgotten your jacket, feeling cold. Bringing your arms around your body ever so slightly everywhere you went. You weren't always such a joyful person, you had severe depression. It always lingered inside you maybe that's why people never wanted to be near you, were you scary to them?

It was that same class again, and you honestly couldn't of been more thankful, knowing she'd cheer you up just by her presence. You go to sit down in your usual spot, writing down something when you feel a presence by you. Ms O'Connell, she was looking at you with the softest smile. But her eyes moved from your face and it faded. Your brows furrow wondering why she was looking at you in such a way. Had you spilt something on yourself- but as she walks to the front and you look. You facepalm.

You idiot, how could you forget your jacket for that reason. She most definitely saw them, and now you truly wanted to hide. Instead of being last you try to be the first one out. "Y/n, hun?" You hear her say making you stop. Her voice was so delicate. Your head turns to look at her. Humming in response. "Could we talk?" You slowly nod. Approaching her slowly, you look into her eyes. "I'm here for you." Is all she says. Your eyes avert from hers, watching as the other students leave. "And you can always-" She begins but you turn back to face her with tears in your eyes.

It truly breaks her heart. She doesn't say a word just brings you into a hug which you tightly reciprocate. Crying softly into the hug. "It's ok, you can talk to me." She soothes your hair, gently kissing the top of it. She knew you needed as much comfort right now. "I feel so alone." You sobbed, honestly quite pathetically but you couldn't care less you just needed this hug desperately. You needed warmth of someone.

"Shhh, it's ok. You're never alone. And if it helps you have me, I promise." Maybe it was childhood trauma but you felt comfort in her, even if she was your professor. She moves you with her going into her tiny office in the room. "We can sit here for awhile, you can rant. Cry more. Or just stay silent whatever you prefer. Just know I'm here for you." You hug her so tightly after she says that.

You finally felt seen.

Im so sorry if this isn't the best :( my brain was lacking more creativity but I hope this is what you were after even a little bit :)!

[dorkofclanlavellan]

Giggly Sleepyhead (Fallout Preference)

Fandom: Fallout 4 Request: x Pairings: Cooper x Reader, Danse x Reader, Hancock x Reader, Valentine x Reader Trigger Warning: Tooth rotting sweetness.

Cooper Howard

His reaction depends on a couple of different details, honestly.

Pre-War!Coop would just find you adorable and smile as he totes or leads you to bed.

He'd make you giggle some more, both accidentally and on purpose. And of course he'd tease you a little about it.

If you're together after he becomes a Ghoul, he's not as amused by it. He'd seem annoyed and huffy though the longer you're in your relationship the more his annoyed demeanor becomes an obvious act.

He'd roll his eyes and pull you closer to him with a groan but the corners of his mouth would subtly quirk up.

Danse

This man would definitely raise an eyebrow. Sure Danse is familiar with some people being giggly when sleepy but he doesn't really get it.

He's not really grumpy when sleepy but he is more no-nonsense.

Although he can't deny that you are kind of adorable giggling and grinning for little reason. And your giggly nature has taught him how to tell when you definitely need some sleep.

The second you start giggling more than normal, he'd make sure to get you to bed and no funny business.

And he's learned to choose his words very carefully when you're sleepy. Otherwise you'll be cackling for several minutes at any incidental double entendres.

Hancock

Oh he would definitely enjoy you being giggly when you're sleepy.

In fact he enjoys it almost too much. Absolutely revels in the knowledge and you're going to regret him finding out. In the best way of course.

He'd egg you on until you're clutching your sides and red in the face from laughing so much. You'd definitely end up out of breath.

Only then would he show you any sort of mercy and pull you onto his lap or closer to him if you're already in bed.

Then he'd start rubbing your back or playing with your hair and occasionally, usually right as your eyes close, he'd say something else that gets you giggling again.

Valentine

He's aware that some people get giggly when sleepy but nothing prepped him for you giggling at everything while struggling to keep your eyes open.

He'll set aside his work and usher you off to bed once he realizes what's going on.

He'll be shaking his head and suppressing a grin but he makes sure you're tucked in with a bottle of water nearby.

"If you don't stop giggling, I'll just have to read you all these reports and paperwork that I'm working on." It's a threat he ends up having to carry out every time.

And it works...almost every time. The more boring the reports, the quicker you nod off.

[doin-just-fine]

MAJOR UPDATE: Questioning systems or systems in a doubt spiral pls read.

I recently told my therapist about potentially being a system. This was a scary move because she has previously had some iffy takes about systemhood. But I told her because I trusted that she would meet me where I was at and help me navigate , at the least, the general idea of not understanding my own brain if nothing else which I was ok with. I told her and it went as expected. I explained why I thought I might be a system but also the doubts I had about it and how it was distressing me to not understand myself. She agreed to use the language I was using for it and was happy to help me through (as is her job) and also because whether it was systemhood or not it was something in me that was trying to be seen and we would work on figuring out what it was.

Fast forward a few session, and I was going through another bout of "what the fuck even is my brain". I was starting to realize that my "systemhood" is very different from the things I've been seeing online. In the ways that it's different to other systems is: - I'm always in the front, always in the captains chair - I have no amnesia because I never switch out - My hyper-vigilance never lets me dissociate fully though i definitely "check out" in my own way - Head mates just feel like vague ideas or emotions

But the ways that are similar are: - These vague ideas or emotions have opinions and feelings that are different from my own. - Though they are vague, I can definitely tell they are separate from what I have come to understand as "me" - I become "a different person" in the sense of my attitude, vibe, behavior, and opinions change from where they were 5 mins ago, but I am still me, just a different me.

Anyway, I was already trying to make sense of all of this and was not planning on talking about it with my therapist because nervous... However, my therapist ask me about it first. She asked some clarifying questions about my partners system vs my own and how they are different. When I explained what I just wrote above to my therapist she said "Thats what I thought and I owe you an apology."

Basically, my therapist, like any good therapist should when confronted by something they don't know a lot about, had been doing research on complex forms of trauma and coping. Things in the same vain as CPTSD and Plurality including those two topics. She had specifically been reading a book called "The Body Keeps The Score" (TW it is a book about trauma and studies of trauma so it has details of case studies that some people may find incredibly triggering). I did some research on what exactly the book was talking about in regards to "systemhood" and from what I've found, chapter 14 at the end of a section called "Writing to yourself" and the first parts of chapter 17 have interesting information regarding systemhood and how its not entirely limited to things that are diagnosable like DID or OSDD. It seems to talk about how we all have several selves and trauma can get in the way of those selves communicating effectively. My therapist told me about this book and what she learned from it and apologized to me because the book made her realize that she was wrong and that I was in fact a system....

The session ended and I just kind of sat there... not sure how to feel but definitely feeling relief and validation.

After doing research on the book to write this I have some words of wisdom. If you are a questioning system or are doubting your validity remember this: The human brain is so incredibly complex and no one actually understands how it does anything beyond its basic physical functionality... the conceptual abilities of our mind are a mystery. How we define self is just theory. If you don't fit into boxes, labels, identities, or diagnoses that does not mean your experiences aren't real. You are going to be ok. Understand YOUR mind and how it works for YOU, not through a label or diagnosis. If those things come later, great! Do not let them destroy you just because you don’t fit perfectly. I am a system. Simply. No types, labels, or diagnosis. I am a system. I have a unique experience because my brain is no one elses. I am a system. I may not have people in my head in the traditional sense but I'm also not alone up here either. I am a system. I am a system. I am a system. Nobody has the right to deny me this for they do not live behind my eyes.

As I understand myself: I am a system.

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser — Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.3k TYPE: Angst, Post-break up WARNING(S): Don't read if you're sensitive to medical stuff, also tw for KAISER-TYPICAL MELODRAMA

“Are you fucking kidding me? That just sounds made up.”

“Sir,” the doctor, who’s been having to deal with Kaiser acting like the hospital is a debate club for the past fifteen minutes, says. Then he lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. In all honesty, he does not want to deal with this. “While there’s an existing argument about the classification of broken heart syndrome, it is a real thing that happens. And you have it as we’ve deduced.”

“I don’t have health problems,” Kaiser says. Of course, those words fly out of his mouth without trouble even when Ness had to call an ambulance on him and everything, since he looked like he was on the brink of death today at practice. “Much less from bullshit reasons like a broken heart.”

“You don’t need to take it literally. That’s just the name. The trigger for the stress varies from case to case.”

Kaiser hopes his defensive statement didn’t reveal anything too personal, and decides to throw off any suspicion by staring down at his lap while frowning like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. At least the doctor doesn’t seem to care because he’s not prying for unnecessary details. Not yet, anyway.

“For how long have you been ignoring the symptoms?”

“I haven’t been ignoring anything,” Kaiser says.

Sure, he was dizzy a few (many) times and short of breath, and disregarded it. And while he can sense the tightness and pain in his chest each time, a recurring physical and tangible ache, Kaiser interprets the experience as some kind of metaphor for the figurative stabbing he was a victim of. The arrhythmia is a natural indignant response to whenever your irritating face pops up in his imagination, since you’re the perpetrator.

All this over some shitty break up. While it’s stupid for someone whose career is in sports to shrug off such obvious signs, until today Kaiser never truly thought it was serious enough to warrant such an overreaction from his body. You shouldn’t have this much power over him. He’s going to kill you next time he sees you for doing this to him.

He’s deep in denial and the grave he’s been digging with his stupid lies is shallow in contrast, inefficient. Can’t even deceive himself.

“It’s most common in people over fifty.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“What I’m saying is, I assume you’ve been ignoring this for some time and it escalated to a bad attack. So, do you recall if you’ve gone through severe stress recently? Anything traumatizing even, either physically or mentally? When was it? If you could be exact, that’d be helpful.”

Traumatizing? Traumatizing? Is this man fucking kidding him right now?

Kaiser stares at the doctor as if he’s the stupidest person alive. Forget a person, he is a bug for such a suggestion. Through grit teeth, he relents, “There was something two weeks ago. By the way, it wasn’t traumatizing! That’s ridiculous.”

What’s even more absurd is the notion Kaiser wouldn’t know how much time has passed with perfect accuracy. Fourteen days he hasn’t been sleeping well, hugging his pillow and crying like a loser, cursing you, wanting you back, both a worshipper and a heretic.

What was he feeling at that moment, when you broke things off? Was it overwhelming anger which got him to this point? Though he’s been reliving the moment over and over, Kaiser still can’t identify it. Just something intense zapping him through his veins, a devastating shock, a surge of adrenaline. But surely it was resentment at your audacity to throw him away like disposable trash? He doesn’t like the thought that he’s been so pathetically sad, he got sick because of it, so this is what he’ll go with.

Thinking about it is enough to make him start picking at the skin on his neck like he’s trying to peel the ink off. It’s almost vile. At least he retains the common sense not to squeeze it in front of a medical professional who can send him away to a psych ward with ease.

The doctor, too, looks at Kaiser like he is an insane person. Good thing they pay him enough for this — otherwise, he doesn’t know how he’d deal with having a strange man with a bizarre haircut give him attitude over his diagnosis when it should be reserved for his barber or whoever is responsible.

“Two weeks ago, okay,” he says, writing it down. “Lucky for you, this is temporary and reversible unlike most other things we checked you for. You’ll be fine in about two months with the treatment.”

“So, like I thought, it’s not a big deal. I can still play football, right? Don’t need to lay off or anything?” Kaiser asks.

The doctor sighs. Again. He wants to measure the circumference, thickness and density of Kaiser’s skull. “You’re not listening,” he says, clearly exasperated, but still trying to exert patience. “Your heart is weak and not functioning properly at the moment. You can’t immediately jump back into living the way you usually do. It’s still serious no matter what you say and it can cause complications.”

Kaiser makes an annoyed expression like this is all one big inconvenience rather than a threat to his quality of life. “Are you serious? You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I’m honored you seem to think I’m a hilarious comedian, sir, since this is your nth time asking, but it’s not the case,” he says levelly.

“Don’t get clever with me.”

A sharp inhale through the nose and the doctor’s back on track, maintaining a feeble grasp on his inner peace, at least enough not to snap. Then, after this brief recollection, he reaches out to grab something, then holds it up. It’s a picture that looks either like an abortion-to-be or a black and white photo of lasagna… maybe. “This is your heart.”

Kaiser almost forgot about the ultrasound or whatever since he was strung out and sedated- relaxed throughout that whole ordeal. At the sight of it now, always theatrical, he decides the best course of action is to wrinkle his nose and say ‘eww,’ even though he’s not squeamish. But treating the matter seriously means admitting he has a problem, and he can’t have that.

The doctor pretends he can’t hear anything and points at the relevant area with his finger to illustrate the crux of the matter better. “You have apical ballooning. Do you get it? Even if it’s temporary, you can’t treat it lightly. So-”

Kaiser tunes out the rest of the explanation. Blah, blah, he could harm himself, very original. His gaze is stuck on the echocardiogram, though, and this time he’s nauseous for real, the tiniest bit. It strikes him as particularly ugly and deformed. Organs are repulsive to begin with, anyway, but this… thing is his, and he’s seeing it now. In any case, nothing so disgusting is worth loving or treating with care.

Is this how you’ve come to see him? What does Kaiser look like in your eyes? Ugly and maladjusted on the inside? Someone who likes laughing at other people’s misery, but can’t take even the slightest puncture? So out of touch with his emotions — and of his own volition —, he’s started experiencing them in the most visceral way possible. His desire for you: torment, a disease.

Would you find him dramatic? Maybe, but at least you’d make him laugh and smile and anything else his troubled mind has decided he needs at the moment, from you alone. Doesn’t matter, though. He’s not privy to that kind of thing, not anymore.

There’s a sting in his eyes and Kaiser wipes away his tears with a hasty swipe, though a few more stream down his cheeks. He doesn’t even know what he’s crying about again.

The doctor observes the display with the distanced apathy of someone who’s watched people die and shit themselves.

He gets discharged with a prescription and elaborate instructions on how to go about his physical activities until it’s deemed he’s fully healed at the later check-ups.

Great. Pitiful.

___

What's funny is that Y/n's probably having a good day while all this is going on

[hades-in-bloom]

Shower Thoughts

Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

summary: Leon has just returned from another soul-crushing mission—and you didn't happen to be home yet.

warnings & contents: heavy angst, our sweetpea is hurt; suicide trigger/thoughts; implied severe depression; assumed older Leon; implied military training on the reader; more hurt than comfort; mentions of death and violence, and blood; could be read as age gap but could be none; the reader could be of any gender; there's light at the end of the tunnel.

a/n: I was craving some angst but didn't plan it to go that far; oh well. Our sweet boy deserves all the happiness though—but author is a bitch. Also, I don't believe Leon would be seriously considering harming himself, but I do believe that he's an empathetic human being kidnapped in his youth to do a shitty job, so there could be a moment of weakness; otherwise, “we owe it to the people who died alongside us, so we have to continue living.” As always, proceed at your own risk. DNI minors & if mentions of suicide affect you. This is a work of fiction and shouldn't be used as guidance on how to behave in similar sensitive situations. Masterlist

***

Leon rubbed his hands under the hot tap forcefully, willing to wash off the blood; the water coming off his fingers was clean for a while, but he seemed not to notice it—after all, there was always blood on his hands, whether others could see it or not. The man only stopped when the touch started to hurt, his abused skin red from friction.

“Shit,” Leon grunted under his breath and turned off the faucet angrily, his breathing ragged. Others might say that it was adrenaline still rushing through his veins, but he knew it wasn’t it. For how long he’s done this job, he was past the prolonged adrenaline rush a while ago. Leon put his palm over his forehead, barely covering his exhausted eyes; his hands slightly shaking.

How many more people had to die before this shit would end?

He remembered them all, those he couldn’t save, and he only kept counting. Leon knew he wasn’t supposed to—saving ordinary folk was a luxury in his position—but it was hard for him to accept who he had become. The extensive bathroom mirror in front of him, he couldn’t level his gaze to take a look at himself, and when he did, his teeth clenched, and his glance shot into the corner of the reflection—there was his essential gear, a pistol and a knife, thoughtlessly dropped on the bathroom floor.

Suddenly, he felt exhausted. A carnal thought made him blush in a fever—wouldn’t it be so easy? Leon was never the type to look for easy ways out—but he was only of flesh and blood, too; isn't he only human? Despite what reports said about him always being “the survivor” and “the golden boy.” Screw the odds.

He picked up his gear from the floor, his palm sliding across the pistol barrel. Leon counted the bullets left in the magazine with another hand, pulling it back into the grip compartment right after; his facial expression was unreadable, deprived of emotion. In moments like this, the man wasn't sure if he could feel anything anymore.

Wouldn't it be so easy, after all? Maybe after that, he'll be able to wake up from this bloody nightmare.

Consumed by his thoughts, he didn't hear how the keys screeched in the lock of the apartment door, and you came in.

You noticed his jacket on the hanger, and your eyebrows shot to your forehead in surprise.

“Leon?” you called to him, dropping bags full of groceries next to the kitchen island; your body tensed in anticipation. You didn't expect him so early. After his assignments, he usually barged in the middle of the night and not in the light of day. You didn't complain, though. You missed him.

You gently knocked on the bathroom door when you heard muffled sounds from another side. “Hey,” your voice was calm and soothing. “Can I come in? Do you need help?” At this point, you got used to his bruises and stitches, caring only about him getting back home in one piece.

There was something more to his injuries this time.

“Shit,” Leon cursed under his breath again when you stepped into the bathroom, despairing of getting a word out of him. You were worried; he could see it on your face. You quickly noticed his scalded hands, the right one behind his back, hiding something. He looked like a curious teenager who got caught watching adult movies.

“Hey,” his lips stretched into an unnatural smile. “Sorry, I didn't hear you come in…”

“You should've called me,” you scolded him calmly, making a step forward. His body tensed and froze as soon as you stretched your hand toward him, and you held back a frown. “…I would’ve been home in a heartbeat.”

The man’s eyes were bloodshot, his lips chapped, and his breath ragged; and then you saw it—the reflection in the mirror betraying him—his long fingers clinging to the gun. Your mouth went agape, and you dashed forward with a precision of a trained police officer.

“Give it to me,” you hissed, your heart beating in your throat. You were scared—you haven't been that afraid of in ages. Leon gasped, bamboozled, and his hand easily let go of a weapon. You didn’t ask—you slapped him across the face, letting your frustration out. “Are you mad? What were you going to do with this thing?”

You would react differently if he wasn’t hiding it; somehow this bothered you more than anything. After all, Leon should’ve known that you wouldn’t fumble at the sight of a gun, which made his attempts to cover its presence even more pointless.

His cheeks flushed, and he gulped, incapable of looking at you; he was confirming your worst fears, and after giving him a long stare, your hand covered your mouth to stop you from sobbing.

“Moron,” you grunted under your breath. His head got even lower, and you saw a tear falling onto the lightly colored tile. It took you a moment before you grabbed him into an angry, desperate embrace. His hands wrapped around your waist, then one shot into your hair, pressing at the back of your head, pulling you closer. His face was buried into your neck, and his body shook violently as he let himself cry.

You held him painfully close as long as it was necessary. “I am sorry,” you whispered next to his ear while he clung to you like a drowning man to a lifeboat; you sounded hurt and angry—and hopeful. “I am so, so sorry.”

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 11 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 12

Summary: In search of the truth about Daemon's life you find yourself in trouble.

Warning: 18+, kidnapping, assault, smut, crude language, kidn description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of child molestation, mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking

As you awakened in a dark and unfamiliar setting, a sense of unease and dread overcame you as the only light in the dingy, filthy space was the flickering torch in the distance, the smell of dirt, oil and rot engulfed you. Your head felt heavy as if it were being weighed down by a heavy rock, making it difficult to focus and fully comprehend your surroundings. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through your arm, and you realized that a needle had been driven into it. The next time you opened your eyes, you were still in the same spot, but you felt even worse this time.

“You have a fight in you.. I like that” you heard his voice so you looked ahead of you. Suddenly everything came rushing back.

As you had came out of Daemon's room last evening you were startled to see Caroline standing on her doorway, half naked, there was a deep red mark on her upper thighs in the shape of an angel’s wings but in the dark of the night and dim lighting you were unable to discern whether it was a tattoo or a birthmark.

You had just hoped that she wouldn't snitch on you and Daemon. You knew Breaking and entering Viserys's office was probably a bad idea but it seemed like a good plan to you at the time, you just wanted to help Daemon and you got caught certainly but last evening you had found more than just that book in his office.

“And you have none..you're such a coward that you won't even accept the truth” you spat at him angrily but he only snickered sinisterly in response.

“Truth? You think you know the truth about who he is? Do you think fucking him is going to fix him? He can't be fixed you see, I have tried. God knows I have I tried to fix him but the monster that lives inside him would come out sooner or later and once it does it would burn down this world that we know of and i can't let that happen..it's my responsibility to put a stop to this”

*********

Daemon was losing his mind, when Criston had relayed the news of your disappearance on him, he immediately felt nauseous and didn't know what to make of it, a part of him didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to think of you finding yourself in harm's way

He remembered your foolish plan to sneak into Viserys's office and he thought he had shut down the notion of you wanting to execute this plan or be any part of it but what if you had done just that and Viserys had caught you in the act?

What has he done to you after that?

A part of him knew you were somewhere in the building itself, it was as if he could sense you still and feel you around him, he knew he'd have to find you before it was too late. Later that afternoon he sat down on his bed and thought about you, the thought of you being in imminent danger was what helped him transform into his natural form, he was marveled by his ability to transform with such ease. All he had to do was think of you, he was starting to realise that the only reason he found his way to king's landing was not just due to his brother's supposed conspiracy but just so that he'd find you.

The sweet, serene peace to the raging maddening chaos inside of him, the calming, gentle rain to the fire that was consuming him every second of his life.

Since your room was sealed for the investigation he carefully stepped out of his window and climbed up until he had reached yours, the window was shut from inside and he had no choice but to break it. As he stepped inside the scent of you immediately engulfed him completely, his eyes welled up as it was in the moment that he felt the worst pain ever known to him, just the thought of never being able to see you or kiss you again was devastating.

As Daemon searched your room for any clues as to your whereabouts, he came up empty-handed. The cops must have already searched the place, but he was still holding out hope that he might find something, anything that would lead him to you. Just as he was about to fly out, a sudden realization dawned on him. He remembered the note that you had told him about, the one that Tanya had left under the mattress that nobody had looked for until you found it.

Quickly, he turned back around and flipped your mattress off the bed. To his relief, he found a piece of paper.

“Hey, Dragonbabe,

I'm leaving this for you here (Just in case) and hopefully you'd be the only one to look for it (in case I'm not there, though I'm sure I'd be the one tearing it apart as soon as I have returned with that book). I know you asked me to not do it, but I really think I can get it for you and I'm pretty sure that's where I'll find it. I have already found the duplicate keys and it would probably just take a minute.

All of my life I have been pretty selfish about my own needs, it's always been about what I wanted and desired, and I never really had this urge to do something for someone else but I really want to do this for you and I just want you to find the truth about yourself. If you're reading this it means I didn't make it back to my bedroom from his office and it sounds silly I know, it's not a horror movie, nothing is going to happen but you know. Just in case, you don't see me the next morning, you know where to begin looking for me.

Love, y/n”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished reading the note, he could almost imagine hearing your voice as he read it.

“You daft precious girl” he sat down on the bed and placed his head between his palms as the gravity of the situation had finally settled in and he knew Viserys had something to do with your disappearance.

He could sense it, your presence in this building, that feeling was so strong but his senses could only help so much, he knew he couldn't rely on the coppers to do their job, he was going to find you before they could.

Later that evening he was called in for questioning that was being held in Dr. Lisa's office. Cole and Otto were waiting for him as he was escorted in by the guards and as soon as he entered both of them eyed him suspiciously.

“Why Is it that wherever you go people end up dying and disappearing?” Otto questioned him, making Daemon scoff in response.

“Did you find something? Where is she?” he answered the question with the question, Cole responded this time.

“That's none of your concern. So yesterday evening someone had seen y/n stepping out of your room. Her assigned time slot is 9 am in the morning, what was she doing there after her shift had ended?” Cole asked him and Daemon was surprised to say the least.

“If you're trying to pin this on me let me tell you something. There's nothing I want more than to find y/n” his voice raised due to the frustration that he was feeling so Otto glared at him.

“And why is that?” Otto asked, his eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“What do you mean, 'why is that?'" Daemon replied, his voice dropping low. “I've known y/n for months now, she's –” He paused as he caught sight of Cole's eerie misplaced smirk, that's when he realized that your friend Cole wasn't nearly as concerned about your disappearance as he should be.

“What are you doing to find her? She's your old friend, is she not?” Daemon turned his attention towards Cole, driving Otto’s attention to him as well.

“She's your friend? When were you going to tell me?” Otto cleared his throat as he questioned Cole.

Suddenly the young man was filled with nervousness and Daemon could tell Cole wasn't really the nice guy he was pretending to be..

“Not friends per say, last time we came here for Tanya's inquiry she told me that we were in 5th grade together or something like that. Pretty amusing that she remembered that. After much thinking i realized that she was that eccentric girl in class nobody spoke to”

Daemon's jaw clenched as Cole spoke so callously about you, he just couldn't decide whether it was the rejection you gave him which was making him spew this nonsense or something else.

After his questioning was done, Daemon was led to a different room, rather than 393. This room had no windows, and Viserys had given explicit instructions for a guard to be stationed outside his door to prevent him from leaving. Daemon couldn't sleep, knowing that you were trapped somewhere you couldn't get out of was gnawing at him, he knew he was losing time but as he laid down on the bed, his eyes drifted into a momentary dream state.

“Kiss me” you mumbled softly as you looked at him, he had you on his bed underneath him, a slip dress perfectly cladding every curve of your body and he was absolutely enchanted by the sight. He leaned down and cupped your cheeks to kiss you, your arms wrapped around his neck, his moans slipping into your mouth.

“Where did you go? I never thought I'd see you again” his eyes teared up as he spoke but there was a faint smile on your face as you rubbed your fingers over his cheeks to caress and comfort him..

“I'm right here sweet boy, you see me, you see me even when you don't” You spoke gently, but your voice sounded so distant to him. He snaked his arm around your waist and sat up on his knees taking you along with him, your legs curled around his waist, a gasp escaped him as he felt your hips grinding against his bulge.

“You're not scared of me?” He asked as you caressed his cheek, your fingers tracing the scales that ran from the sides of his cheeks and covered the rest of his naked body.

“Scared? Why would I be scared of you?” you let out a small giggle as if the notion of you feeling afraid of him was nothing but comical. He didn't understand that, why wouldn't you hate him when he looked like that?

“I'm a monster, look at me” he mumbled, his voice full of somberness so you gave him a haunting smile.

“I am looking at you and all I see is beauty and perfection”

His lips latched onto your neck as you praised him, fingers worked with the straps of your dress as he lowered them down to reveal your naked bosom, he buried his face between the warmth of your soft flesh but as he looked up instead of a pleased expression he found you looking scared and in pain instead.

“Daemon” you cried out his name, voice filled with fear “Help me.. please.. I'm here, I'm right here”

*******

As you regained consciousness again, you instinctively moved to check your arms and found that they were free of their binding somehow. Your body felt weak, but you knew you had to get out of there before he'd kill you how he possibly killed Tanya. Upon seeing the door just a few feet away, you ran towards it, twisting the knob with all the strength you could muster and it was open.

However as you stepped out, you found yourself standing in Viserys' office so you looked behind again and realized that there was a hidden chamber of sorts built in his office, hidden behind the huge creepy painting of the clowns. The chamber was completely obscured because the painting made the door seem as if it was part of the wall itself. “Sneaky bastard”

You muttered under your breath as you quickly rushed out of his office but you had barely gotten a foot away when you collided into someone. Much to your relief it was Cole.

“Oh god please help me” you pleaded with him, his eyes widened as he looked at your shaken form.

“Y/n.. where have you been? We have been looking all over for you..i was so scared that something awful had happened to you” you lost your balance so he grabbed you by the arms and you were grateful for it but your relief was short lived as he began to walk you back into Viserys's office.

“No not in there please.. he's the one who's doing this, he's the one who killed Tanya as well ..I swear to god we need to leave” you begged with him so he cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

“Shhhh calm down y/n…i have a gun alright? He won't hurt us, you need to sit down my dear” he wrapped his hands around your shoulders and dragged you back to his office while you continued to protest.

“Please try to understand..he's going to come back anytime” you said to him but it was as if he wasn't even listening to your pleas. He made you sit down on the chair in his office but you couldn't stop crying in fear that Viserys would return.

And then you heard the footsteps so you clutched onto his arms as you cowered behind Cole. It was Viserys, he entered his office and stared at you both menacingly.

“Don't worry, y/n.. I'm right here okay?” Cole comforted you so you nodded but then he let go of your hands and walked towards Viserys with his gun pointed at him.

“Lock the door” Cole said to Viserys so Viserys immediately followed his command. “You bloody fool, she almost escaped” Cole said to him before he turned around and smiled as he looked at you but the smile only brought you to your knees as you felt doomed now.

It wasn't that Cole was someone important to you, you didn't even know him that well but the betrayal still hurt. The man who was supposed to protect you had no qualms about harming you, and for what? You didn't really understand his motives here.

“Y/n.. darling turn around and walk back into that hole where you came from” Cole said to you as he approached you but you shook your head so he cocked the gun to your head, the muzzle pressing into your skull and as brave as you wanted to be in that moment, dying such a death wasn't something you wished to happen to you.

Due to Cole's involvement in the matter you knew if you were dead nobody will ever be able to figure out what has happened to you, your body would be found in the woods someday. You'd be forgotten, just like Tanya was and nobody would find out what had gone down with you.

So instead of arguing with him you turned around with his gun still pinching the back of your head as you let out a soft whisper, wishing that somehow Daemon would be able to hear you.

“Daemon.. help me ..please..I'm here..im right here”

Cole shoved you back into the hidden dark compartment in Viserys's office and tied your hands with handcuffs this time around. You struggled a bit as he pulled out a syringe to pump you with drugs again but it was futile.

“You know if you had just gone out with me, I'd have protected you. I was nice and respectful to you, asked you out like a lady and what did I get in return?” Cole's words triggered the anger that had been building within you, and your voice wavered as the intensity of your feelings became more apparent.

“I'd rather die than let you touch me,” you said to him and that seemed to only incite him even more. He smiled for a moment before he leaned down to your level and slapped you, he then grabbed your hair in his fist and pulled harshly. The pain was almost too much, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Instead, you stared at him, your eyes full of fury..

“Keep talking bitch, you're never getting out of here and I'm definitely going to fuck that cunt once everyone has forgotten all about your worthless arse”

Fear crept in every cell of your body as he threatened you with rape, this was a nightmare and you didn't know if you'd ever wake up again, nobody would go out of their way to look for you, except him, the only man who would find you now was Daemon.

As Cole turned around to leave you cleared your throat,

“You know what? In middle school kids didn't avoid you because you collected rocks, they avoided you because even as a child you were a nasty little weasel”

He charged towards you but then he heard a loud thudding sound coming from the office so he ran out of the chamber and left you behind in the dark space.

********

As Daemon opened the door of the room he was being kept in, the guard tried to stop him but Daemon immediately had him by the throat, he choked the guard until he was unconscious, albeit still alive, he didn't want to kill someone for doing their job.

When Daemon stood in the corridor, his mind drifted to you, and the thought of your scared little face being locked away somewhere filled him with a sense of urgency. He closed his eyes and felt a sharp, searing pain in his back, and his wings slowly unfurled, pain shooting through his body as the scales began to form. His fingers remained clasped tightly to the ledge as he transformed into his full glory.

The sound of whimpering broke through the quiet, and Daemon turned his head to see the guard still staring at him, wide-eyed and fear-stricken. The guard's hand reached for the stun gun so Daemon shook his head condescendingly.

“I wouldn't do that if I was you” he warned the guard, his red, glowing eyes narrowing. The guard stopped in his tracks and slowly took his hand away from the stun gun, his eyes still locked on the mystery unfolding in front of him. After what this poor sap had to witness, Daemon was assured he'd need to admit himself to this very place.

As he reached Viserys's office he stormed inside and he could smell your scent but you weren't in there ofcourse, nor was Viserys but the presence of your scent was so strong, it was as if you had been here not that long ago.

He sniffed deeply to follow the trail and it seemed to have faded around the creepy painting Viserys had hung behind his desk, but something didn't seem right. Something –

In a flick of his wrist he had the painting slashed into half and he saw the door leading into the dark, dimly lit chamber. The opening was narrow so he coiled his wings to fit through.

As he went deeper he immediately found you collapsed on the ground..

“Y/n--” Daemon whispered as he checked your pulse , relief flooding through him as he felt your heart still beating in your chest. He broke the cuffs from your wrists, it didn't really require much force from the man of his caliber, then lifted you into his arms, carrying you like royalty, and walked back into his office to lay you down on the desk.

“Y/n ..darling wake up” he called out to you but then heard footsteps approaching the room and knew he had to act quickly. Without hesitation, he broke the window by using his wings, picked you up bridal style, and flew to the roof of the building with you in his arms.

A part of him wanted to destroy Viserys for what he had done to you but his main concern was your safety at this point. He was worried about you, you were alive but he didn't know what he had done to you, he just wanted you wake up and look at him once,

As he put you down on your feet, one of his hands wrapped around the back of your neck for support while he held you by the waist with the other.

“Y/n darling wake up please..I'm begging you” he whispered again, his voice gentle but filled with urgency, he kissed your cheek and it might have been his utter desperation to have you look at him but your eyes soon fluttered open, slowly at first but then as you looked at him properly they widened in shock and a sense of bewilderment.

“Daemon??’ you muttered his name him so he nodded.

He truly was who he said he was all along, you had believed his words but watching him like this was nothing short of a miracle for you, a part of you still couldn't wrap your head around it. How was this even possible, physically, scientifically, molecularly?

You brought your fingers up and caressed the scales on his face, the wind blew his hair all over, he looked magnificent and you were in awe of the sheer glory of the man standing in front of you, perhaps the sight would have scared you if it was a stranger but it was Daemon, your Daemon , he had looked for you, he had come for you..

“Godddd..you are…you are” you stuttered on your words and his eyes teared up with the overwhelming emotions he was feeling at the moment “You are beautiful..oh god you are beautiful” you gave him a small smile as you whispered softly. He then bundled his wings and wrapped it around your body, cocooning you in his safety and warmth.

“Daemon..it's Viserys and Cole-” you tried to warn him but he placed his thumb on your lips, he wasn't surprised that Cole was involved in this.

“I know..I am going to take you away okay?” he assured you but you shook your head in response.

“No, we need the book.. and there's something in his desk I saw it, we need that too” you argued with him but he wasn't having any of it at the moment. He had the worst possible day of his life today and all he needed in that moment was to protect you and keep you away from these men that wanted to harm you.

“Shhh I'll come back for it sweetheart..i promise yeah?” he mumbled softly but your eyes welled up.

“No they'd hurt you, you can never come back here”

“I know..shhh they are coming, hold onto me tightly alright my love?”

You nodded as he whispered in your ear before he pecked on your lips tenderly.

He then picked you up in his arms, you placed your head between the crook of his neck as if to hide from the eyes of Viserys and Cole, his wings stretched out again ready to take off.

Viserys then came running along with Cole who was terrified to say the least, the sight of Daemon’s inhumane animalistic form made him recoil and he ran back out the way he had stormed in. Daemon's eyes met with his older brother for a brief moment, all he felt in that moment was betrayal and confusion. He knew Viserys always thought of him as deeply disturbed but knowing that he was the reason why Daemon never could figure out himself was heartbreaking, his own brother was out to get him since he was a child and the thought shattered him.

Without a word from either side Daemon flew you away from the treacherous atmosphere of King's landing.

You must have passed out again amidst it because you didn't remember the journey, the next time you woke up, you were lying on a soft comfy bed, there was a comfortable warmth and orange hue in the room attributed by the fireplace in front of you, as you sat up you noticed you had a shirt on your body that probably belonged to him. The sound of the rain pattering outside was soothing.

As you looked to the right side you spotted Daemon sitting on the chair in front of the desk, he was reading with his back to you.

“Daemon?” You called out his name so he immediately turned around and got up from the chair to reach closer to you

“Hey” he mumbled softly as he climbed the bed and cupped your cheeks “You gave me a scare, don't ever do that and don't ever try to help me again” he mumbled softly but his voice was equally stern so you got up on your knees and wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him. Perhaps it was the terrifying situation you had been in just a few hours ago but all you needed in this moment was him, you just wanted to wrap yourself around him and feel safe in his warm strong arms.

As the kiss heated up he laid you down slowly on the bed, his lips never left yours, he grabbed your chin between his fingers and used his thumb to pry open your jaw before his tongue slipped inside, a ragged moan spilled into your mouth.

“Where are we?” You whispered softly so he pulled away to look at you.

“A cabin outside the city, it's mine” you looked around as he said that.

“What if they find us here?”

“He doesn't know about it” you nodded as he said that. His long wet hair, smelled like rain so you scratched his scalp with your fingers.

“And how did I get in your shirt?” you smiled mischievously, making him smile too in response.

“I had my eyes closed i promise”

“I believe you” you said as you rubbed his lips so he kissed the pad of your thumb. The smile on his face faded as he thought about the hours you had spent in the captivity.

“What did they do to you? I want to know everything”

“Mmm why? So you could go back and hurt them?”

“Yes. Exactly” you sighed as he said that. He had hurt those guards for making a joke about you so you could only imagine what he wanted to do to Viserys and Cole, especially the latter, he didn't like that man even before he had put his hand on you.

“Well Viserys found me snooping in his office that night, i found the book but i found something else too” you said to him, making his brows crinkle in intrigue.

“What did you find?” you gulped as he asked you, not knowing how to phrase your words.

“Pictures of you, as a baby”

“There are no such pictures of me darling” he chuckled but then he realised he had been a fool all his life, trusting Viserys's words as truth even though he could always tell that his brother was never an honest man.

“I saw them, you in your crib as a baby and pictures of you with your mother and father as they held you, they looked so happy”

His eyes teared up as you said that so he sat up on his knees to process your words, he had never known his parents or what they were like. All he knew was the fact that his father had left them when Daemon was born and his mother passed away when he was barely 4.

Grabbing his forearms you gently ran your fingers over his skin to comfort him,

“What did..what did I look like?” he asked you so you scooted closer to him.

“Adorable, you were adorable.. but different”

“Different?” He asked like a child, the look of wonderment on his face was tugging at your heart, so you held his cheeks to kiss his forehead.

“You had scales on your body and red eyes, tiny angel wings on your back” his eyes flickered as you said that, you could see the wheels turning in his head, he was born this way, it wasn't something he had become, he was meant to be this and his parents knew, they looked happy in those pictures so they knew, they loved him and accepted him as who he was..

“He lied about everything, he never wanted me to find out..did he?” he spoke so you nodded in response.

“That book has everything you need to know about yourself daemon, it's not just some lore written by a mythology writer, it's history about you, your family, your ancestors” he placed his forehead down on yours as you said that, his mind refusing to come with terms with the revelation.

“What if I won't enjoy whatever I'm going to find in that book?” he asked you so you sighed.

“Then we can forget about it and pretend as if nothing had happened..but you need to go back and find out the truth. Viserys is hurting people, he's hurting women, nobody is safe there, we need to figure out why he's doing that and Caroline is still there” his eyes widened as you said that.

“Caroline..oh god..i left her there, I'm fucking awful as a friend”

“I'm sure they're not going to hurt her after the ruckus today but yeah you should get her somewhere safe soon especially if Viserys is already onto her” you said softly so he gave you a smile and cupped your cheeks to kiss you.

“You must be starving darling”

“Now that you have said it..yess”

“Well let me cook for you then” you smiled as he said that. When you had met him the first he just seemed angry and delusional, but now the truth about him had changed the world as how you knew of it. You wondered how plenty of the other myths in the universe might not just be myths afterall.

“Alright” you said to him so he smiled but then his expressions turned serious again.

“Hey?” you hummed as he made you look at him.

“Tell me ..did my brother or that motherfucker Cole hurt you? I see the mark on your cheek”

“Well I was threatened but luckily you found me before anything else could happen so that is all that happened..Okay calm down?” you whispered, sensually, almost seductively as you kissed his clenched jaw, he couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

“Okay, now you stay here like a good girl and I'll fix something for you, I bought groceries while you were taking your nap”

“You're so cute” he rolled his eyes as you said that.

“Shut up princess”

He got off the bed and you wanted to follow him too but your body felt weak and battered so you just laid down instead.

You felt at peace in the moment but deep down you knew your life won't stay that way, this moment was just a calm before the storm, you had chosen to get yourself involved with a man who was nothing more than a fairytale for this world.

Daemon finding that book would not only change his life but would also change the course of your relationship with him. None of you knew that though, not yet.

And ignorance? Well it truly was your bliss at the moment.

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @daenny-t @avalyaaa @shuichiakainx

[eularin]

I was quietly browsing the obkk tag on ao3, looking for a hot and erotic read to spend the night when I came across a common headcanon: Obito, the greatest terrorist of the Elemental Nations is a virgin with zero experience and Kakashi is the greatest fucking machine in Konoha (or, in other words: much more experienced than Obito)

This got me thinking. I thought about it so much that I came up with several ideas, several headcanons that I need to share with you since I don't know if I'll be able to write a story like this on my own. (I have so many stories in progress/on hiatus in Google docs that I get all messy 😅)

Okay, here we go! How about a reverse trope? We know that ninjas are excellent war machines, they can also be great fucking machines! (They know the anatomy of the human body so well. Isn't it stupid to think that they can use this knowledge for other things that have nothing to do with killing and torturing)

I like to imagine that Kakashi is a reserved man in his private life. He doesn't kiss and tell. Not at all.

Kakashi is known as a pervert because of his beloved icha icha book, but we know that being a reader of porn stories doesn't make someone a sex-active person (or does it? I'm not sure if it counts that way). Anyway, moving on: Kakashi is reserved and rarely gets sexually involved with anyone (oh, he certainly has experience, but you know, PTSD, depression and other various triggers that can be triggered at any time are not good libido stimulants, in my opinion), continuing:

When Kakashi is feeling good and wants to have a casual encounter and a quick hookup, he doesn't go for it as himself. In other words: He doesn't like being Hatake Kakashi at those times (too public, too infamous, too risky. Too problematic. Better to disguise himself)

Kakashi is the king of disguise. He has several disguises - and Obito knows all of his disguises because Obito is a stalker freak who has a sixth sense for when Kakashi is feeling good enough to socialize. So he stalks Kakashi and monitors him.

Creepy, I know, but that's canon.

From here on things get... A little crazy? Disturbing? In short, things get a little dark.

Obito is so obsessed that he doesn't like to see Kakashi "moving on" much less getting involved with someone because for Obito Kakashi has to live in misery like he does. They need to make an agreement like this - in Obito's opinion.

But if Kakashi wants some sexual gratification, Obito can give it to him. (And why not? Obito already gave him the eye.) But Obito can't always intercept Kakashi (remember how Obito is a criminal busy plotting world domination? Destabilizing Kiri? Recruiting ninjas for the Akatsuki?) so Obito can't always disguise himself, intercept Kakashi, and be his one-night stand. What does Obito do when Kakashi spends the night with a literal stranger? It's not too hard to guess: Obito kills Kakashi's temporary partner. (Possessive, obsessive, and delusional Uchiha make a disastrous combination.)

There may be some torture and a crazy speech about "you're going to die bc you touched my teammate"

Unnamed character tied up and kidnapped by Obito: "What? Are you crazy? I don't even know who you're talking about!"

Obito: "I'm talking about Kakashi! MY teammate. Mine to touch. MINE to make him suffer. MINE to kill. MY Kakashi! And you dared to sleep with him! I hope you enjoyed your night because you're not getting out of here alive. I don't want you living in the peaceful and perfect world that I WILL CREATE in a few years. Like I'm going to let you enjoy my hard work and dream about MY Kakashi.

*Cut 🔪* the unnamed extra dies and Obito is ready to give Kakashi some nightmares (in his opinion, Kakashi needs to be punished and reminded that this hellish reality is not worth living in nor looking for good things)

~~

Okay. Now let's move on to my second idea!

We know that Obito is obsessed and obsessive. He's a crazy stalker who always watches Kakashi.

Obito is one of, if not THE greatest assassin of the Elemental Nations. He can easily be the greatest fucking machine as well. Imagine the fame that Don Juan Obito has! (let's call him Don Juan Obito, bc I can't think of a pseudonym right now).

Consider all the physical changes in Obito's body. He has seemingly limitless stamina, lots of energy to burn; lots of stress; lots of hormones inside his body going crazy during spring, mostly (Mokuton's fault. You have no idea how much it affects him.)

Jiraya wants to declare war on this ninja who dares to bewitch all the ladies in the red district wherever he goes. And the worst part! It's not just the ladies who sing praises to this magical dick Don Juan Obito.

Jiraya can't stand to hear the giggles and sighs around this man whose identity he can't figure out. (Tsunade is laughing somewhere)

Bonus scene: imagine that Kakashi (in one of his disguises) is also sighing in delight.

He didn't just have the best sex with this stranger (sort of familiar), he also received the best aftercare. But Kakashi is a reserved man, he doesn't kiss and tell. He also doesn't tell that this sex god always favors him and comes to see him every night 🤫

Kakashi wouldn't be Kakashi without a little angst and drama, right? So he has these uncontrollable Hatake instincts whenever his sexual partner is around. He wants to bite, to make his claim on this man obvious, he also gets jealous when he hears all these compliments about his man (it's not his, he knows but try to convince his instincts otherwise).

Also: to drive Kakashi crazy and mortified with himself: he thinks about Obito. Always. He slips up and calls out Obito's name and his sexual partner happily ignores it (in fact, his partner gets even wilder). But sometimes his partner is also a shit, he will ask blatantly: who is Obito? His ex-boyfriend?

(Kakashi is freaking out internally. How the hell does he imagine his ex-teammate dead at these times?)

Obito is having fun. He will probably try to sell his idea of a perfect world to Kakashi (he is so good at pillow talk. Kakashi is being seduced and manipulated.)

Bonus Scene 2: Imagine when the Eye of the Moon Plan is realized. Imagine how many people are dreaming about Don Juan Obito!

That's it. That's the post. I needed to get this out of my mind and ramble on about obkk/kkob 🤯

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS tournament! We are now finished with the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament; The Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament is ongoing. Submissions for hot vintage women are now closed, but we are accepting propaganda for those already in the bracket.

Round 1 of the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament began with 540 hot women in prelims. Round 1 starts Saturday, March 2nd, with posts going up over several days. All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. Every poll in the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament will be tagged with the hot woman in it if you need to search for a hot woman in particular.

FAQs:

“Where is [my favorite hot woman]?” It depends. Are all the Round 1 polls up yet? Have you checked all the polls in the tag? Have you done a tag search for her? If you still haven’t found her, either nobody submitted her or she did not fit the criteria of being a movie woman from 1910-1970.

“Can I still submit hot women?” No, the submission window has closed. Please do not send in women you wish had made it into the bracket. I can’t do anything with those asks and they just make me sad.

“I have additional propaganda for the hot women!” Great! Send me an ask or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. If you see a separate post that relates to your hot woman, like a fancam or a gifset, you can tag me in it. I don’t boost all the propaganda I see or receive, but I try to boost the best of the best.

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot lady, I don’t accept propaganda that’s from beyond the end of this tournament’s era (ie don’t send me pics of them from before 1910 or after 1970). I also don’t accept propaganda of TV appearances unless it’s clearly a cameo where they’re playing themselves. If you have a TON of photos to submit, please send a few asks instead of one long one. I watch every video I receive so I can add trigger warnings, so please don't send long videos—I don't have time to review them.

I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about any hot woman. If you really hate that a certain hot woman is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. If you think a hot woman shouldn’t even be included in the tournaments because of scummy things she did in her lifetime, please read my take on it here.

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot woman’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t submit my own propaganda, and I don’t change what’s submitted beyond fixing spelling mistakes. If you hate a poll bio or a pic, let me know and send me something I can use instead. Thoughtless bitching will get blocked.

"Where are the hot men?" Most of them are in the shadow realm! Toshiro Mifune was crowned the winner of the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament, and the rest were banished where the sun never shines. You can find all the round 1 matchups here (thank you @markwatnae!), or you can search the archive by tag to find out more about what happened to all the different hot men.

"Why didn't my propaganda make it into the poll post?" Either I couldn't open the link, or there was so much submitted I could only pick a few. Because this tournament is so much bigger than the Hot & Vintage Men one, I'm limiting propaganda to 5 pics per hot lady for Round 1. I know, a bummer! I have to do it this way to keep myself sane. If you have a photo you really want the world to see, follow the propaganda guidelines above.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.