#it really does look great but it's just not quite right and I can't pinpoint why

[thethingything]

I just spent 4 and a half hours on a drawing because I was like "hmm, drawing a self portrait sounds fun" and then I spent the whole time working on it going "this is absolutely beautiful but that is not my fucking face and I can't work out why it doesn't look right"

[itsharleystuff]

↳ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄

Gif not mine!

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joel Miller x afab!fem reader

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Ellie finds an old chessboard somewhere in Jackson and asks you to teach her how to play. Joel joins and isn’t too happy about losing three times against you.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), age gap (reader is in her mid twenties, Joel is early fifties), sex, p in v, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, use of whore (like once), pet names (darling, sweetheart, angel), multiple orgasms, they do it on the table, cum eating, bit of angst, insecure Joel, canon divergency, probably ooc Joel and Ellie, mentions of death and loss, alcohol consumption, confessing feelings. Let me know if I missed something!

a/n: this one’s a bit rushed but I wanted to post it before my birthday so I apologize if it isn’t great. Anyways, I’m writing a second Javi fic, so if you liked 𝐌Í𝐀 I’m certain you’re going to love the next one:)

no use of y/n

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

"You're cheating." Ellie rambles, standing up to get a better view of the board and analyze it from different angles. You can't help but giggle at her childish attitude, cause it truly brought a certain joy to the dynamic. "Hey! It's not funny."

"How could I cheat? You were watching my game the whole time." You defend you case, raising your hands in a sign of peace but gaining a glare from the girl.

"I don't know, you're the one who's teaching me." In that moment, you hear the crack of the front door opening, but none of you bother to stand and greet the main resident of the house, too busy in your own matters.

"Look, I'm playing fair. I am simply older and more experienced than you." Ellie grimaces and sits back on the chair, both arms crossed over her chest. "But try not to feel too bad. I've always been really good at chess."

Joel enters the dining room and walks right past you, going straight to the kitchen. You guess he's either going for a beer or to pour some whiskey into his favorite glass. Always the same routine every weekend: he would come home late with absolutely no explanations as to where he was, drink something strong and spend some time with both of you before heading to bed.

"You must be a really good strategist, then." She replies, amused. "I’ve heard this game is all about that. Strategies."

When you're about to respond, the man's heavy footsteps get closer as he comes to the room once again and leans back on the wall opposite to you, a glass of whiskey on his hand. His grayish hair is messy and his eyes seem to shine brighter under the warm light hanging over your heads when he looks at you intently. Often, he would appear exhausted after being off all day, but tonight it was different. Something about him was, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

Ellie must've sensed a shift in the air, since she changed her approach in a second. "Joel, you're pretty ancient. I bet you know how to play."

You hold back your laughter at her mocking comment, reaching the board to rearrange the pieces. He cocked an eyebrow in her direction, straightening his posture nonchalantly.

"I'm more of a poker man," he retorts with a distant air, diverting his gaze to Ellie.

"Poker?" You frown as he comes your way, but doesn't take a sit just yet. "I didn't take you for a gambler, Miller."

He sets the glass down on the table, leaning over the chair next to you with a smirk. "M'not. There’s many ways of playing other than betting your money, f’you know what I mean.”

Your eyes widen at his response, taken aback. So he meant like… The one were you end up naked. “Now, I would’ve expected that from Tommy, but you? That’s a surprise.”

He shrugs, faded smile still on his lips.

You remembered what Ellie once told you, ‘he does that whenever you’re around,’ she had said in a meditative tone, ‘smile, I mean. It’s kind of creepy cause… y’know, he never does.’ Perhaps that’s why she acted differently every time you three were together.

“Yeah, whatever.” The girl grumbles. “Can you play chess or not? I need someone to take revenge for me.”

Joel takes a seat beside you, slowly, glancing over the board before sipping from his drink again. He looks back at Ellie, whose eyes were sparkling with excitement. The man sighs in defeat, well aware that he just couldn’t say no to her. A dad reflex, maybe, but it worked out in her favor and she’d take advantage of it as much as she could.

“Fine. I call black.” You nod in agreement and the younger one leans on her elbows for a better view. “Either way, I know you like making the first moves. Ain’t that right, darlin’?”

Your first reaction was almost choking on your own saliva. Honestly, how dare he say something like that in front of Ellie? Did he suddenly forget that she was fourteen and terribly clever? Had he lost his mind? Also, he never called you by anything other than your name whenever she was around, so this whole situation felt like a personal attack.

“You okay over there?” Ellie asked, slightly concerned at your incessant coughing.

“Yeah…” you give him a dirty look and press a hand to your chest, making the first move with a white pawn. “Could you bring me some water? I think my soul might’ve left my body.”

“Sure.” She quickly answers, standing up. Joel doesn’t say anything else, his mind focused only on the game now.

It had all happened last weekend.

Thinking in retrospective, your relationship with him had always been ambiguous. You couldn’t quite recall when he actually started talking to you and not just ‘bear with your presence’, nor when his invitations to come over to his place started coming from him and not Ellie.

At first, it was simply you and her. Bonding was easy, despite her sharp character. She looked up to you, for whatever reason that might be, and that smoothed things. Joel was a completely different story. He acted like you didn’t exist, as if you were merely another bug roaming his house. Though when he saw how good your friendship with Ellie was, his brusque behavior started to fade, or at least settle down somehow.

Sooner than later you started coming over to make dinner, or teach the teenager how to bake some of the recipes your grandmother had thought you -more like you’d do everything while she chatted to keep you entertained-. But truth be told, it became more of an excuse to see him.

Honestly, you were doomed since the very beginning. There was undeniably no way you would’ve been able to escape Joel Miller’s silent charm. His presence became a constant need to you, and you’d often find yourself relating certain things to him. Smoke, denim, pills, booze, watches and boots, to mention a few. To you, he was all gray and blue, merging in the best way possible.

You didn’t expect him to thank you for taking care of them. Them. Not just Ellie, him too. Or that he’d suddenly show up to places you would frequent, which made you wonder, could he possibly feel the same way? Sure, it could’ve been a simple coincidence… If it weren’t for the stolen looks you’d often share. Though his face rarely reflected any interest in you, his piercing gaze would frequently burn your skin every time you were hanging out with other men.

Two weeks ago, Maria had been held back from patrol due to her pregnancy, and you were called to fill up her place. The thing is, you were supposed to leave with Tommy, but somehow ended up with his older brother, riding at dawn in utter silence and searching for a prey to hunt. It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, yet it allowed you to watch him more attentively: his broad shoulders and sturdy back, the dark graying hair that, in some way, made him more attractive. And then your mind, went to some… Darker places.

How would his big, manly hands feel cupping your breasts? Flashy images of his rough, calloused fingers pinching your nipples meandered your mind. His face buried between your legs, his mustache tickling your…

“You ‘kay there, sweetheart?” He had asked, abruptly taking you out of your freakish daydreaming. “You seem distracted.”

Well, that was a way of putting it. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” you babbled, “I hate the rifle.” Joel glanced back at you with a stiff, confused expression. “If I shoot this thing, I’ll feel the kickback on my shoulders and back for at least two weeks from now.”

The horses were stagnant, waiting by the trees while you took a stroll nearby, keeping an eye for any sort of animal that would serve for dinner.

“Show me.” He said, internally amused by your inquiring expression. “Show me how you hold it.”

“Oh…” You compeled, in spite of the anxiety his stern eyes brought upon you.

“You’re doin’ it wrong.” He grunted, coming to approach you, still holding the position.

You scowled, raising a brow to him but not daring to move a muscle. “Maybe you’re just making me nervous, did you think about that?”

Joel plants himself behind you, staying so close that you could feel the warmth of his body through the many layers of clothing. Your heartbeat races when his hand rearranges the rifle on your elbow, unintentionally wrapping his arms around you.

“You need to hold it like this.” His tone was low but still firm. “Keep it up.” You feel his chest pressed to your back and his face near yours, making it hard to breathe.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, cause if your head turns even a little, you fear the distance between you might as well disappear. His hand holds your wrist steady, the other one going from your elbow to your waist in a tight grip that makes you gasp.

“Do I make you nervous?” He questioned, without letting you go. Paying no mind to the way your nerves buzzed and ears rang at the proximity, you slowly nodded. “Are you afraid of me?”

His doubt made your heart jump and knit your brows together. “No. I trust you.” Joel’s breath hit your temple and it took all the self control in your body not to get rid of the distance.

“You shouldn’t.” Both his hands are on your waist in a firm grasp. He definitely noticed your flushed cheeks, the ragged breathing and constant desire to look at him. Like a damn teenager in love. You gulp, trying to regain composure.

“And why is that?” He didn’t answer, and every second that passed and his hands were still on you only made it worse. You needed to get closer or your lungs would crush under the weight of expectation. “Joel?”

You finally gave in, raising your head to face him. He was already looking down at you, eyes smitten and lost. A reflection of him you’d never seen before. Your gaze goes to his lips and inevitably lick your own before going up to his deep, brown eyes again.

Fucking hell, the man was mesmerizing.

Before you even knew what you were doing, you’re leaning forward, completely forgetting about the rifle and the whole world around you. Your noses touch and your lips merely brush against each other’s. Instinctively, you close your eyes in hopes that he’d go for it.

But he didn’t.

Instead, his hand comes to arrange your posture again, murmuring a lazy ‘easy’ in your ear, that shared moment vanishing in thin air.

“When shooting a weapon this big, you gotta bring your strength from your torso and legs.” And then he acted like nothing happened; nevertheless, he was perfectly aware of the effect he had on you. “That way it won’t hurt after.”

Well shit. Now you had screwed up.

This man was like a father to Ellie and you were not only infatuated with him, but also add to the list that you had purposely tried to kiss him. You were embarrassed, to say the least. Specially since it appeared that whatever feelings you had were one-sided.

Or so you thought, up until last Saturday.

You hadn’t talked with him about it. In fact, you hadn’t even been alone with him ever since. It was probably for the best, though, that way you wouldn’t have to humiliate yourself in front of him any further. Every time you happened to cross paths, he seemed aloof, more indifferent than usual.

It was pretty late, probably past midnight and Joel hadn’t yet arrived. You had spent all day with Ellie and now you were just waiting for his return, but she was growing tired and you didn’t think it was fair for her to stay up for too long.

“Go to bed, okay? I’ll wait for him.” You told her with a smile.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m not even…” whatever she was going to say got cut off by her yawn.

“Right. You were saying?” She rolled her eyes and snorted at your victorious air.

“Fine. But promise you won’t stay for too long. I’d hate to know you didn’t get any sleep because of me.” You agreed and said everything would be fine, that she had nothing to worry about.

So you waited there on his living room, reading old crappy magazines about celebrity gossip while facing the crackling fire that kept the house warm. It was easy to lose track of time this way, therefore, when the door opened at last, you had no idea how long you had been waiting around. You rushed to his encounter, but you were totally unprepared for what happened next.

“Jesus Christ, Joel. Are you- shit…” the man standing ahead was someone you knew, but could barely recognize. The side of his face was bleeding, a cut going from his temple to the cheekbone and there were bruises scattered around it. He was sweating and you could swear he was about to faint.

You closed the door behind him, tugging his shoulder to drag him inside, all the way to the kitchen. Despite his rumbles of protest, Joel allowed you to do it, putting up no resistance. His mind was screaming at him to tell you that you should leave and that he didn’t need any help. But he was too fucking exhausted and you were being so kind and warm… He just couldn’t bring himself to do it, ignoring the part of his brain that kept telling him ‘you’ll regret this later’. For once in a very long time, he was being irrational, letting another part of him take control; or rather lose it completely.

You sat him down on a chair and took a clean towel, wetting it with cold water to treat the wound. In addition, you also took the bottle of whiskey that he kept locked away where Ellie wouldn’t find it, pouring him a glass. He gulps it down straight away.

Joel observes your every move closely. Your steady hands going to his chin and raising his face to the light, the way your features drown in concern and your dazzling eyes examine the injury. His skin burnt there where you touched him and it was becoming hard for him to keep his mind focused, growing dizzier with pain and intoxicated by your perfume. He really shouldn’t be feeling this way, and it burdens him to know it. Your lovely, young self shouldn’t be an object of his desire; and the fact that you were what he wanted the most was killing him achingly slow.

Because, even if you did want him back, what good could it possibly come from the whole thing? He’d just hold you back. There were plenty of other men in Jackson that could offer you things he certainly couldn’t. Yeah, that was it. He was way too corrupted to be deserving of someone like you.

“Does it hurt too much?” You muttered while getting rid of the blood, careful not to be too harsh.

“S’okay, angel.” The name-calling wasn’t something you usually liked. It sounded condescending coming from other men, but when he did it, your stomach fluttered. “Were you waiting for me?”

You nod vaguely, “I was worried.” His eyes bore into yours and your heart skips a beat. “I mean we. We were worried.”

“Right…” He noticed how your fingers brushed the hair out of his face tenderly, his self-control threatening to crumble under your touch with every second that went by. His hand takes your wrist, preventing you from keeping up your work. For a moment, he says nothing, simply staring at you fixedly. “I think you should leave.” He blurts out, letting go of you.

Oh, there they were. Those mixed signs that you always seemed to misinterpret.

You groan in exasperation, leaving the bloody towel beside the bottle of alcohol. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your pity.” Joel was being petty and his deliver managed to hurt a little. But you would not give him that much power, at least not without putting up a fight.

“It’s not about that and you know it.” You cross both arms over your chest and sit on the edge of the table, determined to get out of that agog that wouldn’t let you sleep. “Why are you pushing me away?”

He rubs a hand over his face, taking his time to retort and avoiding your eyes. “I can’t give you what you want.”

You laugh sardonically, challenging him. “And what is that?” His gaze is disdainful and rude, but you don’t let him intimidate you. “Are you afraid?”

If you were anyone else, you’d be shaking with fear. Joel was tough, to the point where some might call him cynical. But you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. His goal was to scare you off.

“Go. I don’t need you here.” You don’t move an inch, resolved to bring an end to whatever this was and ignoring his vicious glare.

“No,” you huffed.

“I told you to leave.” He was getting pissed, his voice trembling with anger and the cold words slicing the tense air.

“And I said no. I don’t take orders from you.” His lips were sealed in a fine line, eyes feisty. “Be honest with me and then I’ll see myself out.”

Silence again. A more prolonged one in which none of you had the bravery to come forward. Every second that went on and nothing happened was a torture you could not endure. That was it then, you’d made a fool of yourself yet again.

“Fine.” Your voice comes out unsteady from choking down the tears as you stand up straight, set on leaving all these feelings behind.

But right when you walk by his side, Joel’s hand grabs your arm softly. His grip wasn’t strong enough to hold you back if you really wanted to go, kind of like he was unsure about his own actions.

“Push me away.” He pleads. And it sounds desperate, as if the whole situation caused him agony. “Please, push me away.”

Your wet your lips, astonished by how guilty he appeared when practically begging you to stay away, “I can’t,” you respond, “I won’t.”

There was no turning back now. He had trapped himself on purpose and jeopardized everything the moment he laid his hand on you. The minute your eyes found each other’s, he realized he’d just lost all willpower that remained.

Joel pulled you closer and the sudden action almost made you trip, forcing you to place both hands on his chest to stay still. Something flicked in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite comprehend. But you took it as a sign to fully give in to your desires, as long as he’d permit it. You sit on his lap, solely enjoying the moment. His face, despite the beating, was ever so beautiful. It wasn’t fair. If he wanted you too, why did he have make it this difficult? Perhaps he was simply… Insecure.

“What have you done to me, sweetheart?” He asked, voice strained as he looks down at your lips. Your fingertips gently trace the edges of his face.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.” One of his hands covers your thigh and the other rests on his knee.

“Do you like playin’ around with an old man like me?” You can’t help but laugh a bit, your thumb going across his bottom lip. “Is this what you want? A sweet thing like you can do so much better.”

“I don’t care for boys, or any other men for that matter.” His chest swells at your words. “I like you, Joel. Is that so hard to believe?” The man swears you can feel his heart thumping against his ribs when he whispers a barely audible ‘yes’. His honesty moved you and grew a weird feeling in your chest that impelled you to prove him wrong.

In response, you lastly get rid of that awful distance, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips and feeling the unfamiliar tickle of his mustache. It was stubborn at first, but he caved in eventually, kissing you back slowly. He took his time to relish on your taste before deepening the kiss, manhandling you on top of him. Joel’s hands are on your lower back and the nape of your neck as his tongue explores your mouth in depth, letting go of himself. You moaned in between the kiss, drunken by every light stimulation, which only spurred him on and turned the situation hungrier, more desperate.

“Joel…” you pull back, laying your forehead against his. “I have to go.”

You feel him chuckle at your declaration. “Seriously? Now?” His tone was raspy and faint.

“I don’t want to.” You assure with a pout, “But I fear that if I stay, this won’t end in a simple kiss. And Ellie’s upstairs, remember?” He agreed it was for the best, but still couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, asking you to stay the night even if he had to sleep on the couch.

That was the night that started everything.

After that weekend, the way he acted changed radically. He remained with that grim, stoic exterior. Yet, he was brighter around you, more beaming. In public, he’d always find a way to touch you, even if it was merely a brief brush of skin. On bolder days, he’d pull you apart from a crown and take you somewhere darker to make out for as long as you could. Which wasn’t much, since everyone always appeared to have some sort of unresolved business with either of you.

Today, however, something was odd. Joel went off, as usual, and you stayed with Ellie, who had found an old, ragged chessboard somewhere in Jackson. A game that, as it turns out, you particularly loved.

That’s how you ended up here.

Three rounds afterwards, you keep winning and increasing his irritation.

“Checkmate.” You say for the fifth time tonight, giving him a triumphant smile, getting up from your seat to pour some whiskey into your glass.

“You’re cheating.” He barks, annoyed.

“See! I told you.” Ellie backed him up and the way they teamed up to bash you almost made you giggle.

“Suck it up, losers!” You shout from the kitchen, entertained by their resentment.

“Spill your secrets then, otherwise I will simply not be convinced.” She replies, glowering.

The drink nearly dissolves on your tongue and you leave the glass on the counter, coming to join them again. You rest both hands on her shoulders in a friendly gesture.

“My grandpa thought me when I was young. Before the outbreak, I mean.” Ellie turns her head to look at you in interest. “He got sick afterwards… Forgetful and amnesiac.” You explain, “Chess stimulated his brain and since I was his only family left, we would spend hours playing.” Joel’s chest feels heavy at the sight of your nostalgic smile. “We had a great time together. He… Passed away a couple years ago.” Ellie takes your hand on her own in a comforting manner, but you don’t feel particularly sad, simply emotional about the past. “Hey, kiddo. Didn’t you have a movie night with Dina today?”

“Shit!” Her eyes widen. “Thanks for the reminder, I totally lost track of time,” she gets up with an apologetic smile, “I’m gonna head out now.” She quickly takes a jacket and ties her hair up. “You guys can keep playing or… I don’t know, just don’t wait around for me.”

And just like that, you’re left alone.

After an entire week of sneaking around and behind everyone’s back, you’re finally alone.

There’s a shift in the air of the room and you narrow your eyes when you gape at him. “You think she knows something?”

He tilts his head to the side and finishes his whiskey. “Probably. Can’t know for sure.” The vague answer made you shrug, deciding to put a pin to it for later.

Now that no one was around, you were determined to have some fun, coming up with a plan that could escalate things between you. And he surely thought so too. It wouldn’t be difficult to get his attention, since he was constantly monitoring your every move. Being that way, you intentionally stand beside him when leaning to reorder the pieces, giving him a very good view of your ass.

“Another round?” You ask tauntingly, “Or are you already tired of getting defeated?”

He grunts, upset by the previous resolutions. “I’d like to play another game.” You turn around with a cheeky smile. “One that I won’t lose.”

“And what would that be?” He gives you a darkened, intense glance, his lips pursed in a smirk.

Joel Miller was a man of few words and he totally lived up to it. Instead of responding, he grabbed your hips and dragged your body to the side, so that you were now standing between his legs, lingering against the edge of the table. You swallow hard, meeting his heavy gaze from above him. It made your pulse raise and blood rush, igniting something that you haven’t quite felt with anyone else yet. He presses a kiss to your clothed abdomen, eyes never wandering from yours as he lowers his lips to your pelvis, lifting your shirt leisurely.

“Look at you, darlin’. All flustered and I’ve barely done anything.” Your chest rises and falls methodically, the atmosphere feeling dense despite the chilly air. Your tongue darts out to lick your lips when he starts laying open-mouthed kisses along your exposed belly, sending shivers through your whole body, “Off,” he motions at your clothes.

You do as told, getting rid of the shirt and tossing it to the floor. His big, warm hands strain your movements as he explores your skin, kissing all the way up to the valley of your breasts.

“Joel…” you take a fistful of his hair and pull at it mildly, just enough to yank his head backwards and bring your lips together, swallowing a whimper from him.

The kiss is ambitious, all teeth and tongue, as if you had been craving each other for long and had just barely given in. He swiftly stands up and sits you at the end of the table, spreading your knees to settle in between your thighs. He parts from your mouth and traces your jawline, neck and collarbones, nibbling and sucking the sensitive skin, lightly scraping it with his facial hair. You were a mess at this point, panting and tugging at him as if you were about to collapse. But then he stops, breathing heavily against your chest and looking up to you with dark, lustful eyes.

“What- Did I do something wrong?” You stutter with uncertainty.

“Ain’t nothing wrong, angel.” His hand rests heavy on your thigh, a mischievous grin painted on his face. “But I told you we’d play a different game, didn’t I?”

This new side of him was exciting in many ways possible and whatever it was he wanted to do, you were certain it was going to be fun. And, possibly, a bit tortuous. You peer at him in expectation.

“Make your move.” He commanded, pointing the board with a succinct head movement. You obligue, choosing a random pawn and moving it with shaky hands while struggling to think straight. The man hums and decides to mirror your tactic. “Keep goin’.”

Next thing you know his fingers unhook your bra and you have to make a quick choice in spite of all the distractions. At the end, you go for a horse, barely capable of register anything other than his hands taking off the piece of clothing. After contemplating your scheme, he moves another pawn in return.

“Shit.” He hissed at the sight of your exposed tits, nipples hard from the cold air and arousal. “Focus.”

You weren’t sure if that last order was for him or for you, but either way the game kept going. He had enough attention span to grope your breasts and tweak your nipples between the pads of his calloused fingers, while also moving the chess pieces around. You couldn’t say the same for yourself; a louder moan escaping your lips when he replaced his fingers with his mouth.

The more ministrations he provided, the harder it became to make strategic moves. But you were determined not to let him win, regardless of the ache between your legs and the growing wetness in your panties that he refused to attend.

“Joel, I…” He takes away one of your rooks, his lips attached to your neck and hands caressing your inner thighs. “I need more.”

He huffs a laugh that vibrates through your lower body. “That right, angel? Tell me what you want.”

You take away his only bishop left and hear him growl at his approaching defeat. “Touch me, please.”

“Where?” His scent fogs your senses, so manly and distinctive of him, growing the need to feel him in any way possible. “Words, sweetheart.”

“I need your fingers in my cunt, Joel.” You spit out, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down his throat and increasing his arousal with your lack of coyness. “Please.”

“Anything for my pretty girl.” He unbuttons your pants and slides one hand inside, palming your pussy over the underwear, altering your breathing pattern and moving the queen with his free hand. “Fuck, you’re drippin’.” You grind against his hand and his grip on your waist tightens to keep you still as he kneads circles on your clit over the thin fabric. “Your turn, darlin’.”

The game carries on at the same time as he moves your panties aside and slides two thick fingers inside your entrance, his thumb still fondling your nub slowly. You can’t keep your moans at low and the stimulation picks up when he curls his digits to hit your right spots. All that can be heard in the room is the cracking wood of the fireplace and the squelching sounds of your pussy.

“Jesus Christ, Joel…” you cry out his name, burying your face on the crook of his neck, grabbing the soft flannel in your fists and spilling all your whimpers into his ear, delighting yourself with the way he smelt. He groans at the feeling of your bare chest pressed to him, his cock throbbing painfully at every sound you’d make.

“You like that, darlin’? You like to fuck my fingers on top of this table like a needy little whore?” You clench around him and throw your head back, a new wave of slick coating all the way to his knuckles. “Ah, so you do like it.”

“Yes, Joel. I-” he speeds up his pace, greedily circling your clit in a way that makes your back arch, giving him a glorious view from his position.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. Been wanting to do this for so fuckin’ long…” He admits, peppering kisses all over your breasts.

“Me too. Thought about you when I-” your voice gets lost at the sudden feeling of heat settling on your lower stomach, building up your crescendo. “When I was alone.” Your confession only manages to prompt him further and make his movements more effective. You squirm under his touch, a hand messing his hair while the other holds his belt to keep him close.

He groans a deep ‘fuck’ at the pathetic sound you made. All because of him. No; all of them for him.

“Joel, I’m- shit, I’m close,” there’s a hotness on the pit of your stomach that extends to your legs.

“I know, angel.” He coos, his free hand brushing the hair out of your face. “Go ahead, do it.” His words are all it takes for your orgasm to hit, shocking every nerve on your body. He helps you come down from it, tracing soothing patterns on your bare skin as your body quivers from elation.

“Joel…” you whisper, both your hands on his belt and going to unbuckle it, watching as he takes both fingers to his lips and licks them clean.

“Sweet” he kisses you again, deeply. You happily return it with the same energy, nibbling at his bottom lip while your palm slides inside his jeans to feel up his bulge over the underwear. He muffles a moan in your mouth, his hot, hard cock twitching under your grip.

Your hand drifts inside his boxers to feel him directly, your thumb rubbing over the tip to spread the surprising amount of precum that oozed there. Joel gasped into your mouth, the sound prompting you further.

“Checkmate.” You tell him, pulling back only when you needed to breathe, guiding your finger to your tongue in order to taste him. “I won.”

His eyes divert to the board in awe, and you admire his mesmerized expression when he confirms that you had, in fact, won again. Joel comes back to dote on your devilish grin, fueled up by a new thrill of excitement.

“Fuck this…” he mutters through gritted teeth, mindlessly tossing the board to the side and letting it fall off the table along with all the pieces, making an absolute mess. It appears like he doesn’t even register any of it, going straight back to kissing you, his hands sliding your pants down your legs.

“Shit, Joel…” You can’t help but laugh at his reaction, encouraged by his sudden passion.

As your lips collide once again, you start to unbutton his shirt and he helps you out of your jeans, along with your very wet panties. He pushes your back against the wooden surface, holding you down with a hand around your neck.

“Winners that boast in their victory are only brats.” He snarls, taking his dick out for you to see. Your mouth waters at the sight of it: thick, bigger than you could’ve expected, the head swollen and glistening. “Brats need to be tamed.”

You whine when he parts your thighs even wider, teasing your slit with his tip, covering it in your slick and intentionally grazing your aching clit, urging you to grab his bicep for support.

“Can’t you just fuck me already?” You blurt out, the sensation only edging you more. “I might just cum again from all the teasing.”

His fingertip sweeps across your bottom lip, an eyebrow raised. “You really that sensitive, angel?” He questions, “Or is it just because of me?”

The inquiry nearly makes you crack up. Damn, the man was totally clueless. “Are you really that unaware of the effect you have on me?”

His stare reflects how pleased he is to hear that. “How many times did you beat me tonight, sweetheart?”

It takes an actual effort for you to recall and muster up an answer when he keeps toying with you so mercilessly. “Three, I presume.”

Joel’s hand slithers to your lower back, keeping you angled for him. “Then I’ll get you off three times.” Your heart jumps at the sentence and you look at him in disbelief. “Can you do that, angel?”

Three fucking times?

When your whole life men had only ever given you… None, practically. One at most, if you were lucky enough. And Joel mother-fucking Miller had the nerve to ask if you could handle three.

“Bet.” The answer is music to his ears, giving in once and for all as he enters you unhurriedly.

He’s so big and you feel him splitting you open exquisitely, the sensation fading any thoughts, beliefs or identities from your mind. Right now, all you know is him. It stings a little and it forces you to screw your eyes shut, letting out a small whine as he bottoms out, your nails digging on his arm.

“You’re doing s’good, baby.” He continues to say in midst of it, talking your way through it, “Taking me so well…” You think it’s somewhat unfair that he’s still fully clothed and you’re naked as the day you came; yet, at the moment your mind can’t even think of anything but his cock, buried deep inside you. “If something feels off or it becomes to much… Let me know and I’ll stop.” You nod, eagerness starting to scratch your insides.

“Yes. Now can you please, please start moving.” He holds back a chuckle, gazing at you from above, barely lifting your hips to feel more of him.

“Atta girl,” he obeys, thrusting his hips sharply and deep. “Look so pretty beggin’ to be fucked.” His big arm travels to the arch in your back, withdrawing and pushing in again, slowly losing his consciousness to pleasure.

“Fucking hell, you fill me up so good…” he moans gruffly at your comment, pulling you down on his cock as he picks up an unrelenting pace, hitting every right spot as if he knew them all by memory.

“Shit, you’re so tight,” Joel drags in an out, rejoicing himself in every high pitched moan you’d spill. Your legs wrap around his waist in an effort to keep him as close as you could.

The angle is very intimate, his whole body flushed against yours, warm and firm, while your hand snakes under his flannel to dig your nails on his bare shoulders, the other scratching his scalp delicately and Joel’s hot, erratic breaths hitting your face as you gape at him. It’s like everything else disappeared and it was all about the two of you and this moment of pure rapture. Unable to contain your urge, you search for his lips, kissing him one more time, the mixture of mint and alcohol in his mouth fogging your senses in the best way possible.

His tip nudges your g-spot relentlessly, the stretch his girth provided so satisfying that you clench around him as your second orgasm approaches, causing him to pull apart from the kiss and let out a sinful groan, deep from his throat, that sends a shudder up your spine. It all becomes too much; the friction of your delicate nipples with his shirt, his thick cock dragging against your walls and lastly, Joel’s teeth biting down the soft skin under your ear, his facial hair scraping deliciously. That is your cum button.

“That’s my girl, making a mess on my dick,” he fucks you through it, slowing down his pace and only pulling out when your legs tremble. “Say it darlin’, tell me who you belong to.”

“You, Joel…” he basks in the view of your fucked out self, looking up at him in a delirious state, eyes low, heat soared across your cheeks and lips plumped. “Shit, Miller,” you sit up, arm still hanging around his broad shoulders while his hard, throbbing cock rested against your thigh. “You’re so fucking hot, did you know that? It drives me insane.”

He laughs huskily, his big hand caressing the side of your face in a caring manner. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he speaks softly, “I think I might’ve fucked you so hard I scrambled your brain.”

You actually crack up this time, pressing a kiss to his forehead and muttering an: “Idiot.” He grabs your thighs and methodically swirls your body, flushing your back against his chest. Without warning, he slams into you again, making you yelp at the sudden action.

“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” he pokes fun at you, “next time we’ll put it to use.” And the promise raises goosebumps on your skin.

This new position gave you the opportunity to feel him deeper, if that was even possible. His thighs and hips firm against yours, every single snap making you feel that delicious stretch he provided as your cunt envelopes him tightly. But you were already far too sensitive and every light touch added to his thrusts made your body feel weaker.

“Joel, I-” he holds you with an arm covering your waist, his fingers pinching your nipples. “Fuck, I won’t last…”

He becomes more vocal, his disjointed moans drifting from his lips right into your ear while the hand on your hip makes its way to rub your clit gloriously, in a way that makes you wonder just how the fuck does he know exactly what your body likes.

“Is my sweet girl gonna cum for me?” you nod, unable to form any words, only capable of reveling on the way his cock throbs inside you. “Speak, remember?”

But you can’t. Nothing comes out of your mouth besides his name, like a constant plea. When the third one finally came, it was simply euphoric; your whole body shudders and your vision goes white, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes as you start to feel lightheaded. Joel draws out with a grunt, a string of curses leaving his lips as you spin around to see him. Your hand wraps around his own when he fucks his fist and you take in the sight of him cumming all over your fingers, his forehead laying on your shoulder as you milk him. Inevitably, you lick your fingers to taste his salty load. A sight that would be engraved in his brain for the rest of his days and that could possibly haunt him in his time apart from you.

“Checkmate my ass,” he grits between shaky breaths, your hand stroking his hair as he comes down from his high.

“What a sore loser…” you joke. In fact, you plan to say something more, but you feel too tired for anything.

It didn’t really matter, though. Joel took good care of you. He bathed with you, cleaned up the whole mess and gave you one of his shirts for you to sleep with, eventually going to bed with your very passed out self.

Well, if Ellie didn’t know anything before, she surely will now.

[tai-janai]

Reunite

Path 10: Validation

(Chapter Select)

Your head stings, even before your eyes open.

Voice of the Hero:

Sorry. I've been reaching more and more ends, quite a few have been making pairs.

"Then why does my head hurt?"

Voice of the Hero:

I mean, I'm in here. I'm kind of dying in all those worlds. It doesn't feel too great. Thought you'd be a little excited about all this.

You rub your forehead. You sigh dejectedly, then try to remember all the good you're doing.

"I am... I am. This is good, I'm happy for them."

Voice of the Hero:

And this is the last one, isn't it? Nobody else is after this.

You open your eyes to a rather reflective room. Everything is metal. It doesn't attack your eyes quite as much as the other shiny one, but it's a whole lot less welcoming. Even what you stand on seems like slabs of steel. A tilted table to the side holds the echo of the blade, blending in even more than usual.

You can tell this is the final imprisoned Being. You hope in vain that it won't be the hardest. You think about the large one with the eyes and chains. That one sucked. The stone one, the melting one, the first, nervy one.

But, you changed them. The outcome was different once you stepped in. It may be unfair on both ends, but you're working to even things out.

You feel everyone's support with you as you grab the blade's echo. As its weightlessness shifts in your grasp, you wonder if it is the last time.

You walk to the askew metal door. You are stopped before you grab the handle.

Voice of the Hero:

Hey.

Its tone is tender, and it soothes your growing worry.

Voice of the Hero:

I... I'm really proud of you. And even if - or when - this guy tears me out of your head, I'm always with you.

"And I'm glad you're there."

A happy glow warms your body as you and the Voice share a moment of serenity.

You take a deep, sure breath, and open the door.

The way down is decidedly not stairs. It seems to once have been a metal ramp, but had something carve down the middle of it. You try your best to take it slow, but everything is smooth, and any footholds are pointed and sharp. Everything smells like fire and metal.

You make it to the bottom, and you see the steely room. Right in the center of it, with the chain around its "neck," stands a bright, rangy Being.

Sharp, blood-red eyes stare at you. A pointed-toothed mouth is turned downward in a scowl. A heart beats behind a set of translucent ribs. Everything else is... a substance you can't quite understand.

Something between glass and metal, every part of it that was once skin is a jagged edge of a reflective, razor-sharp material. It looks like something that had been broken repeatedly, but continues to crash back together. Parts of this "skin" float around it in an orbit. Its fingers are very long and tapered, sharp like everything else, and stained with what you assume is blood. Beneath the beating heart is its legs, which seem joined at a single point on the ground, like it's balancing there at a pinpoint. Its head once had horns, but it is only shattered metal-glass.

Back for more?

Its voice is grating. Do you even want to fight this thing?

"More?"

It flashes its blade-like fingers and squints at you.

I had some issues with our first encounter. I'm glad you've come back so I can do it right this time.

"We've never met before, I don't want to fight."

Bloody liar.

With a disgusting screech of metal, it drags towards you, swiping with its claws. The noise is hell on your eardrums, but you dive out of the way just in time. Unfortunately, the floor is more jagged metal, and you cut your knee.

Voice of the Hero:

Shit, that was awful! Why's this one so angry??

With a crackle of bending metal, you turn and see the Being growing enraged.

Two against one!? You little demon, I'll tear you to goddamn atoms!

It extends a palm at you, and you feel the sense of something gripping you, holding you in place. You lock eyes with the Being as you are squeezed.

Voice of the Hero:

No, no! Stop- Agh!

With a sudden jerk, the constricting feeling falls, and you and the Other drop to the floor, separated once again. You hear a wicked laugh from the creature.

I'm the one in charge now, aren't I? I can finally get you back for all the bullshit you put me through.

You feel yourself convulsing, everything in you twitches and creaks. The Other at your side groans.

You grit your teeth, and your vision swims with rage.

You grab the echo once again. It had fallen when you were split. You can barely tell you have it in your grasp.

Though you ache, you rise to your feet, eyes fixated on the large creature.

"You think you're in charge? With that chain around your neck? Your heart is exposed, it wouldn't take much to get to it."

The Hero:

What?

In your mind echoes the same thought: What???

With a scraping growl, the Being charges again, swiping at you. You dodge one attack, but don't expect the second.

A shard of the metallic glass cuts into your arm.

Its the first time you've bled. Ever, even.

The Hero:

Stop! He didn't put you down here!

It slices at you again, and you deflect it with the, thankfully physical, echo.

What in the world are you on about?

It continues to clash blades with you and leave minuscule cuts along your limbs as it converses with the Other.

With a scrape, it leans away, and you catch your breath. What is this? You're fighting?

He put me here, and now he's trying to kill me. I'm just defending myself.

The Hero:

You are made of blades!!!???

Is the fight unfair? Does he have as much strength as he says?

What about your own?

You look at the echo you hold. It is nonexistent. What is deflecting the Being's attacks?

No, that's not right. It's there.

The Being lunges again, and you move beyond your own volition. You strike at its side, leaving a crack in its translucent ribs. The creature groans, a sickening sound of twisting metal.

You don't feel control over your own body. Do you have a choice? Why are you fighting?

"I want to free you."

The Being swipes at you, and you only barely evade its reach. It growls.

You're attacking me. Why won't you both just shut up!

It leans back and waves to the Other.

Better yet, why don't you try an' help me here? He wanted to lock you up too, just like he did to me!

The Hero:

I swear, he wasn't! I would know, I was in his head!

I'm sick of the lying!

With a swing of its arm, shards of its body go flying towards the other.

You shout in fear, but thankfully, it was only a warning, and the shards stick into the floor only a foot away from the Other's feet. He seems terrified, but okay.

You face the Being again. It is horrid. It has almost hurt the other part of you. You hate it.

You step forward.

This is what it's supposed to be, isn't it? You see the rage in its eyes. You want to plant your knife into its beating heart-

"NO!"

You fling the echo at the far wall, and the clang reverberates along the metal floor. The Being has flinched away from you.

You don't want to fight it, you want to save it.

Where are these conflicting thoughts coming from?

What's all this? You've given up? That's not a win!?

"I do want to free you. I do."

The Hero:

He isn't usually like this...

I don't care about being free, I want to win!

You see blades flash above you, and then they cut through you.

Not all the way, just across your front, leaving three large, disconnected streaks of red across your entire body. You don't feel it at first, the adrenaline numbing your body, but everything starts to sting.

Even if it isn't the worst, it is the most physical pain you've experienced. It is strange.

You fall to the floor, only barely able to catch yourself on wounded arms. Blood flows from everywhere. It is... so red.

Wh... Why are you so much weaker than you had been? What the hell is this?

You look at your bloody hands. It seeps through the indents of your scales. The fluid trails down your arm in lightning-shaped streaks. It hurts to bleed.

Your gaze turns up towards the creature, who scowls at you.

"I'm sorry. I didn't put you here."

Bullshit!

It screeches at you, but doesn't attack.

What is with this personality shift?? Get back up, if I'm gonna win, it's gonna be on my terms. You can't just throw in the towel once things aren't in your favor!

"You're right. But I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... attack you."

And what the hell does that mean?

You see its heart, bright crimson and pounding in its chest. Everything about the being is so dangerous, but its vital organ seems the least protected. You want to tear into it. But you want to hold it, and keep it safe.

The creature wants a fight, you have to give it to him.

No, you don't.

Your mind floods with the experiences from all of the other imprisoned Beings. You feel pulled along by a string, trying to force you to stand, but you kneel.

"Y-You must be in pain. After being trapped here so long, alone."

No shit it hurt! Get back up so I can cause you the same pain!

Your wounds bleed, but they don't hurt. You don't think that's what the Being is going for anyway.

The Hero:

Please, stop. Let us let you out of here.

Leave? Now that I've got power? Now that I... I can win!?

You combat the incessant thoughts. This creature has done nothing wrong.

With a shing of blades, razor-sharp fingers lift you by your armpits from your place on the floor. The sharpness cuts into you just enough to get a grip on you.

The win means nothing if you're not- If you aren't what I remember!

With bated breaths, you look into the creature's eyes. It is... quite a bit bigger than you. You see your blood trailing down its metallic arm.

You love this creature. You hate it. You want it dead. You want it safe. It hisses at you.

The moment I have power, you are limp and weak.

You are suddenly released, and you drop to the ground inelegantly. Your knees buckle and your head hits the metal. Its voice lowers, and starts to shake.

The moment I have anything, I...

With a heavy head, you lift yourself to look at it. It stares at its stained, sharp hands in horror.

You slowly bring yourself to your feet. Its pupils focus on you, and then follow the curved gashes across your body.

"I know you are angry. Your anger is justified. You deserve to kill me many times over."

Metal creaks as the Being closes in on itself.

Would that be enough? Would it ever mean anything?

"That's up to you."

Harsh scrapes bombard your eardrums as pieces of metal flare and swish through the air.

Are you what put me here? Why did I turn into this?

You step closer to it. Your steps are unsteady as your blood lubricates the smooth metal floor.

"I didn't put you here. I didn't make you this way."

With determination, you grab the creature's sharp, elongated fingers. You can feel their edge, but they do not cut into your flesh.

"We can change things. The pain can end. You can be free."

You can hear every thump of its heart, like a hammer to an anvil, concealed behind its veil of a ribcage. It speaks breathily. It sounds like it is far away.

I'm tired of waiting. I just want things to get better.

Pieces of it fall to the floor, clashing and shattering. You do not flinch at the jarring noise.

Why is everything different..?

The Being is weak. You are disgusted by it. You love it. You are afraid of it. You find comfort in it.

"To change in one way means it can change another."

The fingers you hold dig into you. You feel your skin give way.

Will it get better?

"It can."

You smile up at it. Your marred skin stretches.

"Isn't that incredible?"

Sparks fly as metal crushes and crumples. The horrid din rages through your mind, but it is soon joined by the familiar rustling of feathers.

You step back, releasing your hold on the Being's hand. You feel cool air where your skin was split.

Small hits of cartilage dragging against metal rise and fall. The being is shrunken down to a size like all of the others. A heavy chain clatters to the ground, and it echoes, the last of the noise.

You see a reflection of yourself, but this one is scarred and tattered. Its feathers are unkempt, its scales uneven and messy. It scratches at its skin. You exhale in relief.

The Other has rushed to your side, now that the danger is quieted.

The Cheated:

Maybe I... went a little too far.

"It's okay."

It winces and looks at your many bleeding wounds.

The Cheated:

Is it...?

With delicate hands, the Other feels your gashes. He mumbles under his breath.

The Hero:

I honestly didn't know if we could bleed, but I didn't want to actually find it out.

You place your bloody hand on the side of his face. He looks into your eyes, and you smile.

"Everything is fine. We should move on."

It steps out of your embrace, confused.

The Hero:

Move on? But, isn't this the end?

The Cheated:

The hell d'you mean, "move on"?

The Hero:

I've gotta- Well, I did, but- Um.

You look to the new one.

"There are other people we've managed to save. Would you want to meet them?"

It lights up, tattered feathers flaring with excitement.

The Cheated:

Others? Where? Why didn't you lead with that, not trying to stab me?

You blink, and remember. Your eyes dart around the room.

You feel watched.

The Hero:

Are you sure you're alright?

You nod. Your feet take you to the echo you tossed away. You grab it by the blade, so as to not get any of your blood on the hilt.

The Cheated:

And what's that for? Are you...

It quiets as you reapproach the Other. He hesitantly takes the echo from your grasp.

The Cheated:

I get to see the other people... But you don't? Even though you freed them?

You look at it, a little surprised that it pointed such a thing out, and then you grin.

"Your sense of justice is admirable."

It looks shocked in response. A wing flutters minutely. You look back at the Other.

"This is what comes next."

Your eyebrows furrow in determination. You don't want to die, but there is something that comes after. This isn't the end for you.

The new one pouts with worried discontent. You don't want to leave him.

The Other fiddles with the blade, and then comes to a decision. It mirrors your own look of determination.

You don't break your stare on the shining blade as it raises, and then...

The Other's empty fist hits your chest.

It shouts in confusion and pulls away, a spot of your blood from your other wounds is left on it. The knife is nowhere to be seen.

The Hero:

Huh? Where'd it go?

It looks around the floor around you, believing the blade fell from his hands somewhere in its arc.

The Cheated:

Did it just... Pop out of existence?

You stay frozen. You thought you were going to die. You should have died.

There is a sound. Some, undulating pulsation. Every open wound on your body gets a chill of cold air.

The Other finds your gaze again. His eyes widen in horror.

"Wait..."

Something grabs you. Your vision goes white.

[theflyindutchwoman]

Well, I mean, there is such a thing as over-correcting. Hey, guys. Bring it in. Huddle up. What are you doing? You know, kids need to have fun, but they also need a little bit of structure. Hey, hustle up. Okay. Uh, my name is Lucy. I am Coach Bradford's friend, and we're gonna start with the basics -- throwing the ball.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.11 - The Naked and the Dead

One of the things I find the most compelling about Tim and Lucy is how they show up for each other. This has been the foundation of their partnership from the very beginning… and, now, of their relationship.

The dichotomy of the kids being absolutely terrible and Tim congratulating them is priceless. But aside from the humor, this scene illustrates how their respective background fuels their approach to coaching. Tim can relate to the kids, having his own - literal - scars from his father's coaching. They are here to have fun and, after being berated and yelled at by their former coach, he understands that what they need is encouragement and support, not be scarred any further. He's trying really hard to be as uplifting as possible, overcompensating in the process. His fear of being anything like his dad is still there under the surface. But this is also a good reminder of what a great TO he was : he adjusted his teaching's methods to what his rookies needed, as demonstrated with Katie. And this is exactly what he does here. Though, as Lucy notes, there is such a thing as overcorrecting too much : being encouraging is great, but the kids need some structure as well. And this is a direct callback to her background in psychology. She's able to pinpoint immediately that something is bothering him and, once she understands the issue at hand, she doesn't even hesitate before helping Tim by taking charge and adopting the more demanding role. They both play to their strengths here and find a way to balance each other effortlessly. It's such a role reversal to their former dynamic but it further illustrates how well they complement each other. And how supportive they are of each other.

Lucy showing up to see Tim is her way of being encouraging, of taking interests in the things he does. She knows exactly how it feels not to have that unconditional support. Just like Tim with his dad, she is committed to break the cycle her parents upheld. And the way he stops dead in his tracks when he sees her at his sister's side, instantly smiling, really highlights how pleased he is that she's here. He was out of his comfort zone - coaching the kids wasn't even his idea originally - but she showed up and that means a lot to him. Having her arrival in the background while he was busy giving instructions was brilliant. But the best reaction is when she takes the lead. His smile when she introduces himself as his friend is too much - like sir, there are children right in front of you! He looks so proud of her. And touched. He gets to show her his support as well, by letting her shine and ensuring that the kids are listening to her instructions. His heart eyes are in full display once she talks baseball. Having a partner that not only doesn't mind his love for sports, but shares it and wants to be a part of it… Well, he never stood a chance, did he?! Something that is quite obvious with how he can't help himself from checking her out - in front of his sister… Their lack of subtlety for two people trying to hide their relationship is downright hilarious. The way he also has to tease her at the end with the ball is so inherently them… their dynamic is still the same : they're just dating on top of it. And this is everything.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

This will be a bit of a long rant, so apologies in advance:)

Okay so I figured out I'm ace 2 years ago and I'm fairly certain I'm demiromantic as I think I had 2 crushes in the past and both of those were boys I knew quite well and was friends with. But now I fear I may have a crush on my best friend... I still don't even know what romantic feelings are and if those are what I feel for her but I do know I feel different about her than my other best friends. I just don't know what I feel exactly but I have been having these feelings for like a year and a half now, so I'm pretty certain they won't just go away:( I know she is pan and she hinted that she might also be somewhere on the ace-spec, but never said anything for certain and I don't want to force her. I don't want to be intimite with her, I just want to hug her and cuddle maybe and maybe kiss but I don't know. How do you figure out what you feel and what you want? How do I tell her? I don't want to mess up our friendship and she is also my roommate so things can get pretty awkward if I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way. We sometimes joke we're in a relationship and sometimes joke that maybe we do love each other, so then I think she might also like me more than a friend too, but other times she treats me like we're just good friends (which we are). I would be okay with staying friends and not changing anything but then sometimes I wonder what could be.... I thought figuring out that I'm ace was hard, now this is like ten times harder and I really don't like having feelings I don't understand.... Sorry this is all just a rant but I feel like I can't tell my other friends because I'm afraid they will laugh at me or pity me... Also, I can't actually say all of this out loud, I'm not really great with showing affection, so I just needed to get everything off my chest. Also you really helped me with tips to figure out if I was ace two years ago, so I wanted to thank you for that <3

I'm really glad to hear this blog's been helpful for you in the past! Yeah, feelings and attraction tend to be more complicated in real life, it's not always easy to figure them out or the categorize them. Especially when we're in the middle of actually experiencing them.

One thing you might want to look into is sensual attraction, which is a type of attraction that makes you want to interact with the person you're attracted to in a sensual or tactile way. So wanting to do things like hugging, cuddling and kissing can all potentially fall under sensual attraction.

Of course if that doesn't feel quite feel right, or if that doesn't feel like all of it, you could be feeling other types of attraction. One thing that might help is thinking of what you want to do feels a certain way, for example does it feel romantic to you? Does it feel like closeness but not necessarily romantic? Etc. How things feel to you personally can sometimes help pinpoint things more. The other thing you can do is imagine different scenarios and see what holds the most appeal. Sometimes it can be hard to separate what the attraction is actually wanting vs what you feel like you should want/have been told you should want, but if you can it can be helpful.

But for example if you feel like you'd be happy both as staying her friend or being in a romantic relationship, that's something some people who experience alterous attraction say sometimes. So that might be something to look into and see if it sounds like what you're feeling or not.

(Alterous attraction is a type of attraction that is neither fully romantic nor platonic, but may contain elements of both. Some people who experience alterous attraction care more about having a strong bond with the person they're attracted to than they do what form that relationship takes.)

Remember too that sometimes feelings and attraction can be a bit subjective too, don't be afraid to go with what feels right to you and what appeals to you.

As for what tell your friend, you don't have to tell her anything if you don't want to, or if you want the relationship to stay the same. Though if you do feel like it's worth the risk, sometimes it's easier to just start talking about it and see where things go. One thing you can consider too is that you can also tailor relationships however you and the other person want. So you can do things like cuddle if you want to, but still categorize that relationship however you want (or even choose not to categorize it at all).

But yeah, remember to do what feels right for you and just try and listen to yourself. All the best, Anon! And good luck!

[analyzing-people-like-hell]

ANALYSIS #3: 03/09/24

A new critter has entered the ring, a very goober-ish one indeed. Yours was a bit tricky to pinpoint, especially with my unfamiliarity of the characters you've chosen, but I think I've done a decent enough job for now. Hopefully you're able to find something that resonates.

What were those characters you picked anyways?

Ahh, you're a very eccentric little fellow, aren't you? You seem quite fun, but the fun ones are always the most concerning. Why don't we try looking at your background first?

"LORE":

Loneliness is a feeling you know all too well. You've been backstabbed, abandoned, forgotten. Almost everything associated with the idea of being alone is something you're able to understand. Though, you're weird in a sense. You have friends, you're able to make conversations with people, but it never seems to last, does it? You're always the second option. The temporary friend. A tutorial guide, even. Left to built paths for others but never being given your own. You yearn to have the lasting relationships that come so naturally for others. All you really want is to be seen. By anybody. Somebody. Just one person would be enough.

And by gods, what in the seven hells is going on with your parents.

I might not have much proof for this one (other than Scaramouche, I suppose), but I have a specific feeling that one of your parents has abandoned you, either literally or mentally, and the other simply can't take care of you properly because of all the slack they're picking up from the other. They both either can't or don't pay attention to you. They never seem to fully support you or understand your needs. They're usually too consumed with their own lives or their own problems to recognize yours. Either that, or they attempt to but are too unstable to really give you what you what you need. They compare you to others. They expect you to follow in their footsteps but they don't even tell you how you're supposed to do that, let alone consider if that's something you want. You're left in the dust and then expected to find your way back home alone, but the truth is that you don't even know what home is. Home is where the heart is, but your heart has been kicked around so many times it can't tell left from right anymore. You just wanna know what home feels like. Why is home so much to ask for?

People tend to push you to the side. Most likely because you don't think the way they think. You're not the most logical person in a room, or at least not in the way people expect you to be. You're more experienced in emotions, feelings, and desires, not economics. You do have many skills, but you're never given the opportunity to prove yourself. These skills would be great in the real world, but the real world doesn't see the value in them without proof, which is the same proof they're preventing you from having. They even have the audacity to judge you for not having said proof. That's why you stay on the outskirts of life. You sit cheering on the sidelines while desperately hoping that one day you'll be able to join their games. That one day they'll realize you do deserve to be on the big screen. You swear you do. Why won't they let you play? Why don't you deserve that attention? What are you doing wrong? It consumes you.

I am afraid I can't do much to mend the empty tears in your heart, but I can try to identify the main ailments. Let's see what really keeps your mind pacing.

THE TRUTH:

You don't entirely feel human. You love people, you love making connections, but it's like there's something wrong with you. Like God cursed you to be indefinitely incompatible with the world. You try to embrace your differences. Confidence is always key, isn't it? It has to be. Because if it isn't, you won't have anything. Because if it isn't, all you will be left with is the intrusive fact that you will always be disconnected from the people you long to be next to. You know it, we both do. You're stuck in a loop of your own isolation and it is driving you mad by the second.

Despite being so in tune with your feelings, you have a lot of trouble verbalizing those emotions. You tend to have trouble knowing yourself in general, which is ironic considering how you're also unapologetically yourself. It's a weird mix to have, and it's confusing to even yourself. This confusion bleeds out into the rest of your daily life. You might accidentally make promises you can't keep. You're probably not the best at planning because of it. You also might need a lot of personal space to figure out your own thoughts. It's all just so confusing. You wish things wouldn't be so frustrating anymore.

What makes this worse is that you're actively ignoring the problems that you can recognize. It is inarguably evident. I can't blame you really, since ignoring them is all you're really able to do with what you've been given in life, but at some point you will need to confront them. You can only stay in a house engulfed in flames for so long. One day you will lose control, and all that will be left is an empty rage. And that's assuming you aren't already burning as we speak.

I'm afraid I can't even think of much more to add. The world has drowned you and in retaliation you are flaming. It hurts you, but you will do anything to make sure it hurts the world more, to make sure it feels the exact same pain it's given you. There's not much to add to such a self-explanatory tragedy.

I don't have a solution to aid something like this, but maybe showing you your own best traits would help restore your faith in humanity, even if it's only for a second. 

YOUR BEST TRAITS:

You see the beauty in things that go overlooked by most. You have a genuine appreciation for the smallest things in life, and you want to do what you can to keep those things at their best. Not everybody is willing to take the time to notice these kinds of details, and then to make sure those details stay noticed and remembered? That's the kind of "Tender Loving Care" that can only be given through people like you. It's an important value, and you should make sure you remember that as well.

You bring out the best in people by being yourself. You help people let loose, and frankly everybody needs a little more of that in their lives. You're smart though. You know when to take a step back, you know your boundaries and stop when needed. You're empathetic and observant, and it makes you one of the greatest protectors anybody could have. People should be honored to have you on their side, because you'd go as far as you could to make sure the people you truly care about aren't left behind like you were.

Despite all the shit you've been put through, you do love the world. You want to live. You want to have fun. You want time know people. You're adventurous, you live in the moment, and you'll be damned if you don't try to make all your suffering worth it. Your passion shows throughout every aspect of you. Do not let go of that. It is what keeps you fighting and the world needs more fighters, especially in this decade. Just make sure you don't die a martyr. As honorable as it is, we cannot lose the few warriors we have. And you are one of the most priceless and irreplaceable warriors we have. Do not let the world take that away from you.

Also you'd be an awesome rockstar B}

And with that, I think I'll leave my thoughts here and take my bow.

With utmost gratitude (and hopefully utmost accuracy),

Dr. WZ

[kryativelogos]

Cinder's Racial Ambiguity Frustrates Me (Spoilers for The Lunar Chronicles)

Hi hello long time no post! I haven't had a chance to really consumed any media until just recently so I'm finally back with another review!

Today we're gonna talk about The Lunar Chronicles, written by Marissa Meyer, and published in 2012. I had read this novel back in 2015/2016 when Fairest and Winter were newly released and had the opportunity to reread it (albeit in audiobook form) these past few months. Buckle up babes, I have a lot to say.

I wanna just say right off the bat that in terms of world-building, plot, and even character design, this story still holds up quite well from when I read it the first time. From how each character gets their own time to shine and development, to how they all connect with one another, I loved seeing the major plot unfold and how it concluded so nicely.

But I do want to discuss something that has bothered me from the first time that I read this series and still does after reading it a second time: Cinder's race.

Now you may be wondering, why do we care what Cinder's race is? Well, I'm Asian, Singaporean to be specific. And it would be great if Cinder's race was Asian/Chinese as the website, as the author, and as most people in the fandom believe to be. However, I am skeptical for this to be the case at all.

We don't know what race(s) the Lunars are.

They're an "evolved" race of humans that have magical abilities. Even Meyer herself states that the ethnicities start to blend because it's so far in the future. It's already quite difficult to pinpoint specific ethnic groups just in the royal family.

Queen Channary had olive skin and dark brown hair which could be a myriad of ethnicities and races although I'm heavily inclined to believe that she is/was South/Southeast Asian due to her name being taken from the Khmer dialect found in Cambodia [evidently in the wiki]. Even Queen Jannali was described to have had tan skin and chestnut colored hair, which again, says nothing about her race, but her name was taken from the Aboriginal language [also found on the wiki] so that may count for,,, something. Essentially, following Cinder's lineage, we already have little evidence to support the idea that Cinder is Asian, let alone Chinese.

Cinder's description in the book did not help her case (and I believe Meyer attempted to retcon this later on, like, look at the new covers - she looks so [East] Asian, but then you read the description in the actual book??).

Her first description in Cinder was tan skin, angular body, and mousy brown hair. Mousy implies, light brown. Literally look up "mousy brown hair" online, you'll see a bunch of eurocentric, white women. No Asian that I know, naturally, has "mousy" brown hair unless you dye it or it is heavily sun-bleached (which has happened to me but still not light enough to be considered "mousy", I could have safely called it brown). Cinder was also told by the end of the book, that she was found in Europe. You can see that as someone who's been wanting an Asian MC would be disappointed with finding out that ah, she must be European (and later, more than likely, French). Even if Cinder was Wasian, I believe genetically, the dark hair would have been dominant. I can't say the same for the tan skin since she was outdoors a lot and Asian folks do tan quite easily in the sun and remains tanned for at least 6-8 months.

I would love for Cinder to be Asian, I really would, but all of this evidence just keeps her race too ambiguous personally. I can't seem to get over the "mousy brown hair". If not for this particular descriptor, I would 100% believe Cinder to be Asian. But because we don't even know Channary or Jannali's race with only their names as some kind of clue to Cinder's background, we will never know for sure.

I don't think it helps that a majority of fanart I see of Cinder has very eurocentric features, which draws me back to her thinking she's French/European. It also bothers me that while Winter and Iko get rather well-written descriptions of what they look like (aka black), we can't seem to get one good description, showing some form of Asian representation that I'm sure many of us are grasping at straws for, of the main character of the series. So many of us are still hoping that Cinder is Asian simply because she's living in New Beijing (which I will be making another post at some point about how I, personally believe, is a poorly designed/created city in terms of world-building) but she's literally adopted from Europe (Luna if you wanna get technical, see the first point).

I know my points are kind of moot and there wasn't much warrant for me to go on a tirade about a fictional character created in 2012. But this is important to me as a WOC, as an Asian girlie who so wants to connect to a character that looks like me, that was written to look like me; but I feel cheated and the ambiguity makes it hard for me to fully love Cinder as much as I love the other characters (if anyone is asking, my favorite characters are Winter and Scarlet). If anyone else has thoughts about this or has something to prove to me once and for all that Cinder is Asian. Please send it my way.

PS I wish I had a physical copy to directly quote the book, but again, my second reread was through audiobooks, so I can't reference pages at all atm. Sorry about that TuT Hopefully I can get my hands on a copy from the library soon so I can edit this post with direct lines.

[chiffaust]

HELLO!!! I LOVE UR LEO FIC SO MUCH. BUT ANWAYS! Can i req a Natsume x fem!reader that came home from work and is having a rrly bad day breakdown infront of him as he comfort and takes care of s/o and then cuddle the s/o to sleep? HEHEHEHEHHE THANK YOU AND HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!!! ☆

-🐌non (if u don't mind me being snail non!)

୨ৎ ۪ ࣪ BAD FORTUNE FOR TODAY? . . . S. NATSUME

〝 𓈈  𓈒  SYPNOSIS  𝄒  You had a terrible day today, he notices.

〝 𓈒  CONTENT  𝄒 hurt/comfort, ooc natsume(??), reader and natsume living in an apartment together, their age is not specified, reader's gender/pronouns not specified.

( n ) — note what a coincidence! i was also writing a natsume fanfic before i saw this request so expect to see me posting the other sooner or later ✧(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ and yes you can be snail anon its very cutee!!

natusme might be ooc im sorry idk how to wirite him acrually😭

It's nice to know that he is finally the first one to come home today.

He oftentimes comes home late due to some idol works and it always bothers him how you'd always have to wait for him longer than you should; it makes him feel guilty, really.

And to see that he has the apartment for himself, for now makes him quite relieved. But he does wonder where or what are you doing right now. Are you still at work? Are you on your way home? He hope it's the latter, but whatever, he'll wait. Just like how you'd always do for him.

And today, he bought you some takeouts of your favorite foods too!

As he sets the dinner on the table, he heard keys tingling from afar. Oh? You came sooner than he thought.

He heard the door being opened, but he didn't turn to look at you. "WelcoME home, koneko-chAN. I bought you your favorites fOR dinnER tonight." He welcomed your presence, yet he was still focusing on the dinner he had bought.

You were quiet, too quiet to be in fact. He remembers the last time he came home early; you literally tackled him into a hug. He was sure that today wouldn't be so different, so your quietness did rise suspicion in him.

He finally then turns around to look at you, shocked to see you to wear such a dejected expression. You don't look too good either in terms of physical appearance.

"WelcoME... Home...?" He repeated, tilting his head as the smile on his face turned into a frown when he sees you in such a discomposed state in appearance.

"Right. Uhm, thanks, Natsume. I really appreciate it." Your voice was stiff as you spoke all while taking off your shoes before walking into the apartment, giving him a peck on the cheek as per usual.

He would usually love your kisses, but today he knows something bothering you. He could pinpoint that it's due to work stress, but he doesn't know how to bring it up without fouling your mood further.

You smiled slightly as you see your favorite food on the table. "My favorite, huh? That's nice."

He coughed to his fist, clearing his throat as he smiles at you. "RigHT. ShaLL we eaT nOW?"

Dinner is quite awkward (for him). He should—he wants to ask you whether you're fine or not like a good boyfriend he is, but he doesn't want you to suddenly get mad at him or something.

So he just looks at you, his brows furrowed as countless of scenarios overlaps his head. Well, it can't be that bad, right?

"Natsume, you're staring."

"Sorry, I was tOO mesmerizED by your beauTY to the poiNT wheRE I couldn't look awAY."

"... Natsume." You looked at him dead in the eyes. He maintains eye contact for a while before signing, finally giving up.

"Koneko-chan, arE you okAY?" His question was your breaking point. You've tried your best to not just burst out into tears, but of course he has to ask that. Natsume, that fucking bastard. Before you knew it, tears were already falling down your face.

And those tears were the only thing he needs to see in order to know whether it was great or not.

"S-shit. Sorry, I-I... Just..." You covered your face with your hands, desperately trying to wipe the tears off your face.

"It's alrigHT, would you liKE to talk to me aboUT it?" He asks, getting up from his seat to go right next to you.

He kneels on one knee on the ground, placing his hands on yours as he looks at you in the eyes, smiling gently at you; reassuring you that you aren't bothering him at all.

"I-it's..." You trailed off, tears falling down your face more.

You told him all about it, the things that bothered you at work, those annoying assholes who won't shut up; all of it, and he listens earnestly, hugging you gently if he ever sees you looking like you're going to cry once again.

Once you feel better, he'll give you a peck on the lips. "And isn't thAT bettER now you've gottEN all of it oUT of your systEM?" He asks, smiling happily.

"Yeah, thanks, Natsume..."

"No problem, Koneko-chan. I'm happy to heLP you." He said before kissing you on the lips once again.

"I love you." He muttered.

"I love you too." You muttered back, chuckling slightly as you mess with his hair. Oh, how you love him so much. 

[beaniebeensbaby201]

JAKE SULLY X READER[SERIES]

Based off of Avatar 1(no spoilers)

PART1, PART 2

SUMMARY:

Wrenley 'Wren' Reid, a young woman who dreamed of becoming a scientist. Until she leaned that her ex-boyfriend (Jake Sully) came back to haunt her, and to fill in his brother's place.

Jake Sully, the man that Wren will forever love, comes back to her life. Jake Sully was a man Child, but he had a strong heart. A man who soon started to fall in love with a world that nobody would believe if you told them. a man who falls in love all over again for the woman he thought he'd never see again.

The next morning came. I have a hunch that something was going to happen today, but I can't quite pinpoint why.

   I was already in my Avatar body, I know that Grace would scold me later for not eating breakfast but I was just too excited about today.

   I looked in the mirror and noticed that my braids were frizzy. I sighed, not wanting to deal with my hair today I decided to take them down.

   I started to hum randomly as I took my time taking out each braid.

    Grace would be in her Avatar form in about an hour, as I was a quarter of the way done with taking out my braids. My fingers started to cramp, but I kept going.

   My skin was a lighter blue then the others, as my stripes were a Navy color. My eyes aren't yellow like the normal Na'Vi, as they stayed their blue ones in my human form.

    I heard someone clear their throat. I turned my head around to see Grace. Her hands on her hip and her foot tapping lightly as she looked like a mother scolding her child.

   I give her a sheepish smile.

   "Hehe, morning Grace. Fine weather this morning isn't it?" Grace rolls her eyes.

    "You left me to deal with Marine. That Jarhead of yours is something else." My heart stuttered at the fact she called him mine.

   "He's not my Jarhead. I love him Yes, but we're not together anymore. If there was a time machine Grace I'd go back and time, for now you can't keep crying about something that's impossible to reverse." I was the only one that could stick up to Grace, that was what made me her partner in crime.

   "Fine. But you're keeping an eye on him when we go into the forest." I close my eyes lowering my head down.

   "Is this what I get for back talking?" She gives me a smug smile in return.

   We started to walk out of the cabin, I noticed a blue Na'Vi in a hospital gown running.

   "Babysitting duty." She pats me on my shoulder.

   I laughed as I saw Jake. Tears formed in my eyes seeing him run again, to see him finally be able to breathe. He looked peaceful. And might I say handsome, a dream. He was beautiful.

   "Hey Marine!" Jake looks at me, and his eyes widen.

    "Wrenly?" I laughed, swaying my hips as I walked towards him.

   "The one and only." He rolls his eyes playfully.

   "You look-" He started, I was waiting for his answer.

    "Amazing, beautiful, stunning." I ticked off a list of words he used to say to me.

   "Gorgeous." My face heated up as I bit my bottom lip.

    I changed the topic quickly, as I found a fruit and quickly tossed it to him.

   "Think fast." Jake caught the fruit with ease.

   He takes a bite of the Yovo fruit.

   "Good right?" He lets out a laugh as he soon spots Grace.

    "Grace?" I looked up and saw Grace as I lean my arm over her shoulder.

    "Hey check it out!" Norm does a power pose, as I walk up to Jake.

   "I am a living God!" I laughed again as I was face to face with Jake.

   "Did you run out before they could finish checking on you?" Jake looks away, as I tilt my head back.

  I checked him out, as I looked at what he was wearing.

   "C'mon let's get you changed." I take Jake's hand, not letting my feelings get in the way.

   Though I missed holding hands with him, I want to tell him that I still love him. I looked at Grace who shook her head at the two of us.

   "You look great. Really, amazing." Jake was sitting on a bed as I was picking clothes for him in his size.

   "Stop." I turn around to face him.

  "We're not together anymore Jake. Once we go back into our human body we'll just act like this never happened." Jake gets up, and places a hand on my cheek.

   "I never stopped loving you. The day we broke up Tommy came to my place, I never saw him so mad. He made me realize I still wanted you." I rolled my eyes, and shoved his clothes into his chest.

   "Jake." He lets out a sigh, resting his head on my shoulder.

   "Give it time. I love you, but I feel like this is just because we saw each other again after almost ten years." He nods his head.

  "I do love you, I never stopped." He promised.

  "Neither did I." I gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and left him to get dressed.

  I saw Grace, rushing towards her to hug her.

    She made a surprised noise, but wrapped her arms around me.

  "He still loves me, I still love him. What do I do Grace? I'm scared that if he breaks my heart again that it won't heal the second time." I wasn't crying, I promised myself I wouldn't cry for him.

  "This kind of love doesn't die, Wren. You're meant to be. Maybe this was a sign for you two to be together." I let out a laugh.

   "What?" I look into her eyes.

    "You just gave me relationship advice. I just thought it was funny." She shoved my arm causing me to lose my balance.

    "Talk to him." I groaned, and I saw Jake come out of the cabin.

    "Fine. I will." I say.

  

   The day dragged on, Wren decided to take Grace' advice and went to find Jake.

    My bed was close to Jake's as we were getting our avatars ready for bed. Jake was holding onto the end of his tsaheylu.

   "Hey, don't mess with that. It's a tsaheylu, and you could go blind if you keep messing with it." Jake looked over at me as I was facing him.

   "We need to talk after dinner." Before he could answer I turned the other way and closed my eyes.

   We were in the cafeteria eating dinner. I was sitting next to Jake as Norm was on my left and Grace was across from me.

   I didn't have a strong appetite, as I was nervous to talk to Jake.

   "Eat. You skipped breakfast this morning, and you need fuel." Grace was always smothering me. I didn't have parents back on Earth, so she was the closest I had to a mother.

   "Sorry." I forced myself to eat whatever they gave us for dinner tonight.

  Looked like mash potatoes? I felt someone nudge me and I noticed it was Jake.

  He looked worried, but I just patted his shoulder so he wouldn't worry.

   "I'm okay." I assure him.

    I noticed Trudy coming over.

   "Sully, Colonel, wants to see you in the Arm Bay." I purse my lips, he has something planned.

I looked up at Grace who held the same look in her gaze.

    They walked away as Jake's figure was out of hearing range.

   "He's up to something. Jake's a marine, he follows orders. Quarich has something planned." I have to know what he is going to tell him, but I know he won't tell me.

   

   It began to get darker. I was too exhausted to talk to Jake, I'll just talk to him whenever we have time.

[gumilac]

promise? promise. │ hq one-shot

ღ pairings: kuroo tetsuro x reader

ღ word count: 2.9k

ღ genre: angst, angst, and fluff

ღ warning/s: eating disorder (not specified but mentioned), self-harm (again, not specified but it is mentioned), self-doubt and loathing, confession? swearing, family issues

a/n: i go on hiatus only to come back and i give you this very angsty BUT fluff, if you squint your eyes, fic. i'll probably vanish after again, but i am working on a really massive fic that'll probably contain several parts so watch out for that?? or this may be the massive fic i'm talking abt, ion know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and my apologies for the very sensitive topics anw enjoy lmaosjkadkasj

bzzt!! bzzt!!

That's the second time your phone rang, you don't even know who's calling not bothering to know who it is. Sighing deeply, you hesitantly get off your bed to walk to your desk where your phone was. Picking it up, you flip it over to see the caller ID.

2 missed calls chemisro :p

"Huh, I wonder what he wants," you open your phone to call him back. It didn't even take one ring for him to answer the phone.

"Hang out with me," You were taken aback by his suddenness, having just answered the phone. Judging by his tone, it was more of an order really, than a question. It was like you had no choice even if you said no. Well, it's Kuroo. He's always straightforward, what he shows is what you get. Maybe you get a little more, but you're not sure.

"Wow, hello to you too," he laughs sheepishly, and by the tone of his voice, you can see him rub the back of his neck feeling a little embarrassed.

"Heh, I mean," there's a pause, "wanna come hang out with me?"

You laugh softly shaking your head, "A minute ago you were ordering me to, now you ask me." Kuroo laughs, and for some reason, you hear it somewhere else other than the phone. "Sorry, got a little excited," he says after calming himself. "I can see that."

"So?", the middle blocker asks after a while. You look at the time and bit your lip before looking at your desk again, "It's not like I have much of a choice anyway, right?" Kuroo laughs softly, and you answer him, "Alright, I'm coming." You can see the way Kuroo punches his fist in the air when you said yes. "Great! I'm at your door."

What?

"What?" you ask him ludicrously. No wonder why he sounds so close.

"I'm at your door!" oh, how you can just see the smirk on his face as he tells you that. You walk over to your apartment door and you open it slightly. There he was. Kuroo was looking at his right, hand holding up his phone on his right ear, while the other was in his pocket. He hears your door creak and he looks at you, a stupidly handsome soft smile on his face. He ends the call and pockets his phone.

"Hi...", Kuroo says softly. You greet him and told him to wait outside. Changing your clothes at record time, not wanting him to wait any longer.

You walk down the port, inhaling as much of the crisp breeze your lungs could manage as you relish in the sun, the last days of summer before it turns cold, and the leaves start to fall. He looks at you, the sun casting a warm glow on your skin. You look so ethereal under this light and he wishes he can make this moment last a little longer. He takes a deep breath, he was always indecisive with his choices, and which school he should go to for college. Never really sure of anything he does— but, there is one thing he'll never doubt himself for. Even when the future looks hazy to him, there's only one that's clear to him.

He loves you.

Has loved you for as long as he can remember, and he is certain. He stops walking, putting his hands in his pocket, and calls out your name quietly. You turn to face him and he wears an expression you can't quite pinpoint what it is. You tilt your head, pressing your lips together and raising your brows. It was your way to ask Kuroo what's up.

"I have something to tell you," you had a feeling where this might be going and you didn't like it. You didn't like it at all— Kuroo runs a hand through his jet-black hair, you never really seem to understand what's going on, on top of his head. It suits him, yes, and if it weren't for the feeling you had in your gut, you would've asked Kuroo about the abomination on his head.

"I think you know what it is, and I wan-"

"Don't," you state with so much conviction it caught the middle blocker off-guard, "please don't fall in love me". You hated this, no one should love you at all, most especially Kuroo. He deserves someone so much better than... well, you. It's quiet, the tension between you two thick with the words you just uttered, and a part of you wanted to get the words and shove them back down your throat. Kuroo racks his brain as he thinks of something to say, choosing his next words carefully.

"Can I-", he starts softly, as if he was walking on eggshells, scared to push the wrong buttons that would make you hate him— He doesn't know, but there isn't anything Kuroo can do that will make you despise him—

"Can I ask... why?", he settles at that and you took a deep breath.

"Because you deserve more than this. Someone so much better than me," and it breaks Kuroo's heart to hear you say this, with no hesitation, as if you believed that this was true, which you did. You always have.

"I'm a mess, Kuroo."

"But.. you're not."

"I am."

—You never really thought highly of yourself, always felt like you were never enough for anything or anyone. Always felt like no one believed you when you spoke up, and if you did say how you feel or what's on your mind you'll be called dramatic. So you never really made it a habit to open up to anyone, scared of the fact that people will just brush it off or forget about it. What's the point right? And none of what you said really mattered so why bother?

"I'll suffocate you," you softly say as you bring your arms up to hug yourself to provide at least some sort of comfort. Kuroo wanted to hold you so bad, just wanted to wrap you around his arms and tell you that it's not true. Hold you close 'till you believed him. But he knew better than to interfere, so instead, he encouraged you to continue.

"How so?", he isn't being nosy, he thinks, he just wants to know why you'd say that so he further understands. And, he didn't mean for it to happen, but the facade you've been putting up just crumbles before him before you could even stop yourself, and everything you've been suppressing just flows out like a dam that's been broken.

"I'm problematic, okay? I have really bad trust issues, I have an eating disorder, I hate myself, I'm really really insecure and I get jealous so easily," you take a step back, "I'll be possessive, Kuroo, to the point it'll be toxic because I have trust issues and I probably won't believe you. I'll suffocate you with the constant need of me asking for validation if I'm enough."

Oh, how Kuroo just wants to vanish all your self-doubt and self-hatred. None of this matters to him, and it will never, because he loves you. He loves you. And, that's more than enough reasons to look past your flaws—

You took another step away from him and looked up at him with blurry eyes.

"And-," you took a deep breath, wondering if it's a good idea to tell him, but you've already told him everything else and by the look on his face, it seems he would like it better if you told him. So what's wrong with that? Despite it being hard to let out.

Well... maybe just this once you'll open up, believing that what you say actually matters. Maybe just this once, you'll be true, because it's Kuroo.

"I- I hurt myself," you pause before speaking softly, "when I make a mistake."

Oh.

Oh.

Fuck.

That, Kuroo never knew. Looking back now, things make so much more sense now. He always wondered where you got the bruises on your arms and hands. Whenever he'd ask you about it, you'd laugh and brush it off saying, "Oh! I just hit the doorknob really hard," or, "a tumbler fell on my hand, weird right?". He actually believed you. Stupid for him to actually fall for your lies, and he curses himself for being so oblivious— You wipe your tears and look down, shuffling uncomfortably on your feet

"I'll be hard to love, Kuroo. You'll hate me."

Kuroo takes one slow stride towards you, calling out your name. You look up and the look on your face just shatters his heart into a million pieces. It's so much clearer to him now how broken you are, like a vase that fell of a table resulting in it being cracked and poorly fixed up again with clay, pieces wobbly as it holds on to dear life to stop falling.

He never knew because you were so damn well at hiding your feelings. You were always laughing, smiling, helping others even if you had so much on your plate. His heart tightens at the thought of how long you've been keeping this up. It hurts him to think how long you've been carrying this load, alone. But, you won't have to anymore. He won't let you.

"Can-," he hesitates, "can I hold you?". Your eyes widen ever so slightly, bottom lip trembling as you prepare yourself for another wave of tears. You bite your lip as you turn your gaze down, before nodding. Kuroo wastes no time in wrapping you in a comforting embrace. It feels so nice, so comforting to be held.

Growing up, no one was ever really there for you when you had problems. I mean, your family was there, but you didn't want to unload your problems to them because they had their own to deal with. Also, they didn't believe you anyway since you were the jolly, funny, happy-go-lucky kid. That's all you were. So if you had problems and told them, they never really took it seriously and called you dramatic because you're the happy kid! How could you be sad? So you only really had yourself. During middle school, you had two instances where you were taken advantage of, betrayed. It hurt you so much because, in all honesty, any type of betrayal hurts like a bitch. But, you never told anyone. You never told anyone how suffocated you felt as you cried in the middle of the night, trying so hard to silence your sobs because you roomed with your older brother not wanting to wake him up. No one knows how you felt as if thorns were wrapping around your throat as you bit back tears at school when you saw them. How your heart breaks every time because it felt as if they were taking a piece away from you when your family ignored you or interrupted you mid-sentence and never even bothered to ask you again what you were talking about—

"I'll never hate you," Kuroo starts softly, "I'm being completely honest and you probably don't believe me right now but hear me out, okay?", he gently grabs your shoulder pushing you away, but still close enough for you to feel his body heat. You nod your head as doubt bubbles in your stomach, but you ignore it and he continues.

"I love you, with all my heart."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?", your voice small from all the crying.

"Look at me," he calls out your name, leaning down to meet your eyes. You wipe your tears with the back of your hands, before looking at him. He looks breathtaking in this light. As the sun sets, it paints the sky with the beauty of mixing pink, orange, and blue hues. His hand gently takes a hold of your wrists, the other reaching up to cup your face to wipe the traces of tears and the ones that follow.

"I'll prove it to you every day if I have to," he says with so much sincerity that it overwhelms you.

"Why are you so nice? Why me, when I'm a mess?"

"Because you deserve everything," your search his eyes for doubt and uncertainty, but all that's there is the truth and love for you.

"And I'll be willing to give you the moon and stars just to show you...", tears pool on the corner of your eyes. No one has ever told you this and if they did, they never held the same amount of certainty and candor Kuroo's words have.

"You're my home, and you're the only person I'll ever run back to even if I'm lost because I know my heart will always find a way to you." Wiping away a tear that streamed down your face, "and you're not a mess, not to me. To me you're perfect, and I love you for who you are. Your flaws just prove that you're human, and it's not something I'll use to measure your worth."—

No. He should stop, you don't deserve him. Shaking your head, you break down once again.

"Enough," you sob, "please, don't love me". If there were any intact pieces left of Kuroo's heart, it was now sure to be broken beyond repair when he heard your voice, so helpless and defeated.

"Stop loving me," it was more of an order than a plead when you said it, and Kuroo uses both hands to cup your face.

"I'm sorry, but no," you were about to protest when Kuroo beat you to it. "You can't say that, these are my feelings and I'll love who I want. I know you think you shouldn't be loved but that's not true at all. Until you start to see that it's a lie, let me be here. So please," he places his forehead on yours, "at least let me love you."

You close your eyes as you take in every single word he said. It was quiet for a moment before you speak up again, voice so soft.

"I drool a lot."

Huh?

Kuroo furrows his brows at what you said and you avert your gaze down. It was your last resort to at least make Kuroo dislike you, back away and run far from you. Because who'll like someone who drools?

"That's the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard," and he smiles. It didn't work. He sighs, rubbing your cheeks with both his thumbs. He starts, voice gentle and so different from his usual teasing tone.

"You've always been there for me when I needed someone the most. You were my light in the darkest of times. You were there when I was doubting myself as a person and as the captain of Nekoma. You were there when I felt like the world turned its back against me. You were there. You were there assuring me, that I'm enough. That everything will be okay. And I feel so," he takes a deep shaky breath, "guilty, that I wasn't there for you when you needed me and I am so so so sorry for that."

It wasn't his fault, and it'll never be. You never opened up to him or to anyone for that matter. But, Kuroo, god Kuroo never failed to ask you if you were okay, he never failed to make you feel included. Kuroo closes his eyes as he fights back the tears threatening to fall.

"Yo-you don't have to reciprocate my feelings."

I want to, Kuroo.

"And you don't have to love me."

I do love you.

"but please, please depend on me. There's nothing wrong with you being strong, it's true and I admire you for that. But, at least let me be there for you."

He opens his eyes, not caring about how his tears betrayed him as it rolls down his cheeks. You wanted to wipe them away, cup his cheeks and remove that pained expression. But you yourself were busy keeping your feelings and tears at bay. His honey-golden eyes, which seemed to shine brighter whenever he was talking about something he likes, how it holds nothing but the truth and love whenever he looks at you, pierces through you.

"You don't have to tell me, but let me be there to hold you. Let me be there to wipe away your tears. Please share your burden with me, because you don't have to carry this alone. I don't want you to carry this alone anymore."

His eyes search yours for an answer, the tears rolling down his cheeks were long forgotten. He doesn't care if he's breaking down in front of you, if you're vulnerable then he'll be vulnerable with you, and only to you. He sniffs and you reach one hand out to cup his face, wiping his tears. He wastes no time in nuzzling his face further on your palm, and he sighs contently.

"Okay," you whisper, and for the first time during this whole confession, you smiled. A small one, but one that made Kuroo's heart lighten and flutter.

"Okay," you repeat softer than the last, rubbing your thumbs across his cheeks, "I will."

Kuroo removed one hand on your cheek to hold out his pinky. Childish, really, but it was something the two of you did ever since. It's special, the gesture holds so much meaning for you and for him.

"Promise?"

You nod your head softly. Connecting your pinky with his.

"Promise."

He uses his thumb to seal the promise and he smiles at you, before pulling you into a hug so tight. One hand caressing your head and the other by the waist. Your wrap your arms around his torso, and the two of you stay that way. Kuroo swaying you gently. Words were not exchanged because the two of you knew what you wanted to convey, with every squeeze and stroke.

Maybe this one time you'll lean on him and maybe, just maybe, you'll let down your walls and let him in.

© akithesimp. please do not plagiarize, claim, modify, or repost as your own│reblogs will help a lot, and it'll be much appreciated ღ

[ghostypetrainer]

More. We need more about this new au of an au... Of an au....

ANYWAYS. You can't just give us an earlier submas reunion and leave it at that.

Does Emmet interact with Noboris (ex)-squad? How long does it take for Emmet to go from "chandelure is acting weird towards this kid" to "tHAT WASHED OUT SMURF IS MY DECLARED DEAD OLDER BROTHER-"?

How does Emmet react to the ultra beasts?

Also. I think Emmet being in the same region as Lusamine is actually hilarious because I may not know much about that woman. But I know that Emmets bluntness can't be a great mix with her. Like I don't even think they'd need to really talk to each other I just think them being in the same general vicinity raises the chances for one of them to spontaneously combust. They were not supposed to exist in the same space.

WASHED OUT SMURF!! Emmet, don't call your brother that!! He can't help that he's blue now!!

Yeah, I think Emmet would interact with the recon squad!! He probably asks them all sorts of questions- starting with whether or not they've seen a man with his face. They haven't, sadly! Ah well, it doesn't mean his trip here was fruitless. There's still much to learn about Ultra Wormholes! They could be the key to finding Ingo!

Captain Phyco probably theorizes that perhaps the Nihilego that Nobori keeps with him scrambled his brain somehow. They're known to be very dangerous, and he just keeps one inside one of those balls that he made. Emmet's first introduction to Ultra Beasts is probably the recon squad's Poipoles, which isn't exactly the most fearsome first impression... until Nobori is sending out its evolved form onto the battlefield. That is much more fearsome!!

And lmao... yeah. Lusamine and Emmet is a ROUGH mix. Lusamine tries to keep her mask up, of course, but sometimes Emmet's bluntness just makes her twitch. But she usually just takes a deep breath and presses on, since he's proving himself useful to her. And... she can relate to his desire to see his lost loved one return to him. And I think Emmet eventually picks up that something about Lusamine isn't above board- maybe right before he finally connects that Nobori=Ingo.

I think once Chandelure basically attaches herself to the kid and does not leave his side, Emmet makes that connection. He hasn't seen Chandelure this happy since... well, since before Ingo disappeared. And that gets the gears in his head turning, because he's been hung up on the odd inkling of familiarity this kid has had for awhile now, but he couldn't quite pinpoint it.

"...Ingo?"

And Nobori just looks up at him. He can't tell what expression he's making under that visor, but he sees the way he swallows and...

"...Emmet. There is an explanation for this."

He is Emmet. He is going to faint now, he thinks. It's okay. It's just because of the heat.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 23)

Sorry. It's been a hot second... I missed a day because I got so busy with school that I actually forgot to update and also I just didn't have the time anyway. It's definitely not the end of the world but I'll post on Friday as well to make up for missing Monday.

In this part, we'll complete the Time-Travel Arc. Mikan makes a big choice and Natsume has to deal with the fact that he's the only one who can't dedicate himself to waiting, because he doesn't have enough time to, especially if Mikan won't be around.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty

They’ve just seen Yuka finally give birth to Mikan.

Natsume has been by Mikan’s side this whole time, because he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

But she’s about to make an announcement, because she’s decided something. Natsume looks shocked, almost like he knows what is even before she’s said it, but she is interrupted by another one of his coughing fits. He’s not the kind of person who’d want others to watch him suffer.

My throat hurts just looking at him.

When we first met Natsume, he went on frequent visits to the hospital. He was in a state of particular illness when he was kidnapped by Reo. After that, we saw the condition he was in while in bed during the Kaname/Bear chapter. I’d said then that Natsume was always in that much pain, but he managed to keep it to himself and tough it out until he was by himself in his room at night. Even after, when Tsubasa first finds out, he’s able to mostly keep it to himself.

Natsume is the kind of person who wants to keep his suffering to himself. He doesn’t like being caught with blood in his palm or dripping out of his nose. But he’s been getting worse and worse and he can’t keep up with his body anymore. He can’t always tough it out and pretend like he’s fine until he’s all alone anymore. He’s coughing more and more. His body can’t take it anymore. He’s in significantly worse shape now than he was when we first met him, and he was already dying then too.

The fact that he can’t hold it back, even in such an important moment when Mikan is about to make an important announcement, even when he’s surrounded by people, just goes to show how much suffering he’s in and how much worse it’s getting.

He brushes it off, like he always does, hiding his blood and reaching for the healing alice stone around his neck. He doesn’t want the attention on him, especially not for the sake of his stupid dying body.

But Kaoru has collapsed when running from the Academy pursuers. Yuka feels responsible, especially since Kaoru is in an especially vulnerable, pregnant state. So she gives Kaoru the alice stone she received from little Subaru. This is the same alice stone that Natsume just used for relief. It has passed many hands to end up in Natsume’s possession.

In the next scene they’re shown, Kaoru is struggling more than ever. They’re being pursued and Kaoru collapses again. Yuka finally realizes it: that Kaoru has the fourth type of alice, and she’s dying. She urges Kaoru to go easy on herself, for the sake of everyone, and then teleports away, unwilling to let her best friend suffer for her anymore.

We see a little flashback of Natsume getting Subaru’s alice stone for the first time. Kaoru gives it to him since she can see right away that he’s like her, getting sick whenever he uses his alice. It’s to protect him in her stead, because she knows that her life has a time limit on it. She then tells him he has to take care of his father and sister, and although she had nothing but good intentions, entrusting such a huge responsibility to a child, one that is already suffering with a life-shortening alice shape, can be damaging. And from what we know about Natsume, we know that he took all those words to heart and made it his only life’s mission to protect the people he loves, to the detriment of his own life and health.

Natsume has seen a great deal of his mother just now, and he’d never felt so close to her before. This is more than he’d ever known. He didn’t know about her bond with Yuka, or the true extent that Kaoru went through for her friend.

But Mikan is looking at him, and she’s obviously putting pieces together. So she asks him if he’s the same as his mother.

Natsume never wants anyone to worry about him. We know for a fact that he’s dying. We know that his body is in terrible shape. But Mikan is already crying, just at the thought of what he’s been suffering through. If he were to be honest now, as blunt as possible, then he would just be more of a burden. He doesn’t want her worrying about her and that’s more important than being honest. All he wants is to comfort her and minimize the pain she feels to the best of his ability.

LIAR!

So he hugs her again, and tells her that he won’t die, that he will not leave her.

But this moment isn’t all about comforting Mikan. He wants to live too. He doesn’t want to die. He promises that he’ll make it because he wants to believe it too. A long time ago, more than a hundred chapters ago, Natsume was willing to blow himself up so that his suffering could finally come to an end. He didn’t see any more value in his life. All he ever did was burden people around him. He felt like he couldn’t protect anybody, like all did was drag the people he loves into darkness. When he met Mikan, that changed. She talked about his future like he had one and even though he’s been resisting, ever since, he’s also seen it. He desperately wants what he’s always forbidden himself. He can’t have even half of what Yuka had dreamt of: getting married and starting a family with someone you love, making a warm home.

Of course he’d like that too! But he won’t make it. His whole life, he’s known he wouldn’t make it. Why waste his time trying anyway? Why waste the girl’s time just to break her heart? He won’t be able to live that long, so he’s distanced himself from everyone. He won’t make friends or really try with the girl he loves because it would be for nothing. From the beginning he tried to accept that and just deal with it, but the longer he knew Mikan and the further he fell in love with her, the harder that was to stick with. How can you give up on something that your whole heart is screaming for? He wants to live. He wants to be with Mikan, as long as he can.

He’s not making this promise out of callousness. He’s making it because he wants it to be true. He doesn't want to break it. He wants to be able to have a future.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One

Natsume and Mikan are hugging. She’s crying, because she doesn’t want him to die. He’s promising he won’t go, because he also doesn’t want to die. But they’re not alone. He looks up at Ruka and immediately feels guilt.

It's been nice seeing the return of Natsume&Ruka again... The gap arc and even the Sports Fest really lacked their dynamic and it always bothers me how little they interact during that time. Seeing Ruka now stick up for Natsume and consider his feelings watching the flashbacks regarding Kaoru, and now giving Natsume his blessing... It's just nice to have my favorite friendship back.

So far, Natsume has done his all to be Team Ruka. He wants his best friend to be happy, for the girl he loves to be happy, so why not together? They deserve happiness. He has forbidden himself from even considering that Mikan could ever choose him. He can’t make anybody happy, after all. All he does is drag people into darkness, steal their smiles away like he did to Ruka, leave them unprotected like he did to Aoi, leave them all alone and lonely like he did to his father. But he can’t leave the embrace now.

He looks at Ruka with guilt because he is sorry. He really did try not to end up like this.

I get a little confused with this, but it's made clear at the beginning of the arc that the time window makes it possible for telepathic conversations, so we know for sure that Natsume is hearing these words from Ruka, receiving his blessing, but it also looks like Mikan can hear it too, and perhaps everyone else. How the heck would I know! Whatever. The possibility of her hearing will be covered in the next POV essay. Why does Mikan keep trying to weasel her way into Natsume's chapter anyway? Stay in your lane, Mikan. You'll have your turn!

But Ruka doesn’t want Natsume to be sorry. He loves Natsume too. And if he can’t be with the girl he loves, then he would want her to be with Natsume, who loves her too, who prioritizes her happiness. He would want her to be with Natsume, because she makes him happy and gave him a reason to live. Natsume wouldn’t make that kind of promise and want to mean it if he hadn’t met Mikan. So Ruka urges Natsume to stop holding back. He’d been resisting for so long, not being honest and not doing what he wanted to this whole time because he always put everyone else’s happiness above his own.

But the flashbacks continue, and Yuka has no choice but to give Mikan up, so that her daughter will not suffer the way she has. All she wants is for Mikan to be safe and happy, so she lets her go and suffers on her own.

Mikan has made her decision, but everyone already knew it would end up this way. She will leave the academy to be with her mother.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two

Facing the news, Natsume is shocked. He knew it would end with Mikan choosing to leave with Yuka too, but he really didn’t want it to be like this.

Hotaru and Tsubasa and Ruka and everyone else can promise to meet Mikan again in the future, no matter how long it takes. But if Mikan isn’t there, what kind of future has Natsume been looking forward to?

Watch this, Lis! You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!

Natsume isn’t selfish, though. He won’t say anything. He stays silent because it wouldn’t be fair. But this is the saddest that he’s been in quite some time. He’s heartbroken. If she leaves, he won’t ever see her again. He will die. He doesn’t have eternity to promise her, even if he wants to.

She looks at him to say sorry that it has to be this way, but Natsume’s feelings show on his face and she crumbles too. He won’t say anything, because he genuinely doesn’t want to make this harder for her than it already is, but even for someone like him, who always puts himself dead last, it’s hard to not feel these feelings of heartbreak.

I have a lot of love for this arc, especially because of the parallels. It’s pretty clear that Natsume got his looks and a lot of personality traits from Kaoru. He looks just like her, if a lot less smiley, and he’s also prone to dry humor and teasing his friends when he’s in a good mood. But the darker elements of his personality--like his tendency to give everything up and the fact that he’s suffered his entire life--have so much in common with Yuka, too. I’m sure Natsume noticed the similarities too.

Yuka had to give Mikan up to protect her, even though she loves her more than anything, even though all she really wanted was to start a family with her. Yuka’s future will never be what she wanted it to be. She will never be able to watch Mikan grow up. She has to give it up for Mikan’s sake.

"I couldn't protect her in any way but to let her go." - Natsume from the moment he fell in love with Mikan (it's actually a Yuka quote jsyk, I'm just making a connection). Why didn't we ever get a real Natsume-Yuka interaction? I've been robbed.

And Natsume gives Mikan up too, even though all he wants is a future with her, even though he loves her more than anything. Just like Yuka, his future will not be a pleasant one. They give up their own little pocket of sunshine so that the sunshine doesn’t get bogged down by the darkness they have to live in all the time. There is too much dark for light like that to survive.

The next scene that we see is Kaoru on the run, driving as fast as she can from some pursuers. Yuka just wants Kaoru to be safe, but it’s not to be. Her car crashes into a bus or a truck and her life ends.

Natsume has no choice but to watch it happen. Natsume isn’t as emotive as Mikan. He doesn’t run to the window to keep it from happening. He doesn’t collapse onto the floor. He simply stands there and keeps all the pain to himself. He wants to be the person Mikan can rely on for comfort, but he would never turn to somebody else for comfort, to burden them with his sadness. He won’t do it for his heartbreak, and he won’t do it for his mother’s death. He just takes it all on his own, because he always does. Besides, he always knew this would happen.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three

He wants to just take it all on his own, but almost everyone is worried about him. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t even have a moment of mourning for himself before the topic is suddenly changed to the Z boss. I understand that in universe they might be feeling stressed for what’s happening back in the present, and all the questions anybody brings up are important to talk about, but I do personally resent this a little. Natsume doesn’t even have the time to be comforted by anybody because the moment is suddenly on anything and everything else. Just like Mikan, he had to watch a parent die, but nobody’s had the time to hold him. Even if he wouldn’t let them worry, I’d rather see what would happen when his friends try. If there was just a little more time spent on Natsume’s reaction to it, and his friends wanting to comfort him, I’d feel better. As it is, the scene simply moves on as though it hardly matters. Not my favorite transitional moment in the arc, for sure.

So Mikan got many pages of rightfully being able to cry and mourn her father but Natsume gets this one page for his mother before everyone changes the subject? Jeez, Natsume, it happened like ten years ago! When are you gonna just get over it already?! I guess on the next page. Everyone else does, after all. :/

Although there was hardly any time for Natsume to mourn his mother (I’m still salty), Tono makes sure to take the time so everyone can give Mikan an alice stone for the future. Everyone tries to make her a stone, and they all vary in size and shape. Mikan catches Natsume’s eye. He’s the only one who hasn’t given her one yet.

He wordlessly gestures to the necklace with alice stones that she’s wearing. She finally knows for sure that the mysterious red stone she got before Valentine’s Day was from Natsume. He won’t say anything about what it meant for him. He stays silent the whole time, because anything he says could just make things harder. He’s already said what he needed to, without saying a word: that little pebble she gave him meant the world to him, so he had to give her something in return.

I want to see Natsume cry. I want to see him bawling. Why don't we get to see this kid cry? I'm pissed about it. Why does he swallow everything? No wonder he's so fucking sick.

Maybe Natsume doesn't say anything because there's nothing more to say. Maybe he stays quiet because he doesn't trust himself to not sound bitter or upset if he does. Maybe he shuts up because he's just been through an emotional ordeal and can't bring himself to. An emotional goodbye with Mikan seems like something he'd want, but it's less painful for both of them to not address any of the feelings he's been obvious about all night. It's an elephant in the room she doesn't need to point out. He doesn't want to get rejected. It's enough that she knows that she's loved, even if she doesn't love him back. Even if she never will because she's leaving and he'll never see her again. He'd rather they have this as their formal goodbye (not that they're parting right away) so that he doesn't say the wrong thing or hear the inconvenient thing.

He's put his whole heart on his sleeve and she hasn't said it back all night. He can guess for himself what that means, and he's accepted it. He accepted it from the beginning, when she first tackled him in that warehouse. She knows how he feels now. She has his stone around her neck too. That's the most he'll get forever, and he'll accept it. Accepting things is what he does.

Conclusion

Natsume loves Mikan and she knows it. There's no way that after everything that happened this night that she could walk away oblivious. She hasn't said much about her own feelings, so Natsume has no reason to assume she feels the same. He's about to be separated from her, and even though it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to deal with, he does. He swallows it, like he always does, and doesn't say a single word in protest.

In the next segment, we'll see Natsume continue to swallow it. He completely surrenders, because they only thing he really wants is for Mikan to be safe. He gives up completely. He won't even say goodbye when he's about to part with her for good, but one tiny moment will change everything and uproot every single assumption Natsume has ever made about how she must feel about him.

Sorry if this isn't properly cleaned up. I felt okay starting the editing process but I started feeling a bit sick as I went along and now I'm tired. It's late. Anyway I'll probably update tomorrow's much earlier in the day, after I visit the clinic to find out if I'm anemic. Yes, I am stupid (locked myself out of my car again) AND possibly anemic (hair keeps falling out). We exist.

It seems like the tags won't let me say it but the title image is Populaire-flavored (Zoe gets it, no doubt). Macarons and retro outfits bring Populaire to mind. I like that movie.

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[alecxaheart]

Someone's Someone | Bang Chan Oneshot (2)

✎ Genre : CEO AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff

✎ Pairings : Bang Chan X Reader

✎ Word Count : 5.5k words

✎ Synopsis : We all just wanna be someone's someone that we can't live without. At this time, Chan was looking for his. And unexpectedly, he was already tied down to someone.

✎ Warnings : Explicit Language

✎ Parts : 1 , 2

" Let's just part ways here, " Saying those words felt a bit disheartening at some point, yet you chose to disregard it.

You walked forwards, while Chan stayed in his position, wearing his coat and fixing his tie. Although, something stopped you. As in you couldn't go forwards as much as you force to. Well when you did force yourself, it only tugged Chan towards you. Turning around, he was already eyeing you. " What was that for?! "

Glaring at the thread, you thought out loud, " Is this string telling me, it can only stretch itself approximately at 7 meters?! "

Twin buildings towered above you two, heavy work's shouting for the both of you. You suddenly feel so small when you found out who this dude was in the company. Either way, you stepped inside the building next to him as if you're supposed to be. You don't have any other choice though unless you wanna be dragged by this buff guy and look like a fool rolling around since the thread is invisible to the public.

" I'm surprised that you don't know who I am, " He stated as you entered the elevator with him. You could tell how much of a fuss this is already when you walked in those doors alongside him.

" Does it really have to be my fault when I only started working here a few months ago, Mr. CEO? " He responded with a chuckle.

" It's Mr. Bang, well, at work. You can call me Chan when we're not. I don't like such formality and bringing work on my rest hours. "

" Oh, so you're that Mr. Bang. The one I hid from last night, " You whispered the last sentence.

" Pardon? " The elevator chimed as you reached your floor, opening its doors swiftly.

" It's.. It's nothing, " You stuttered and hastily stepped out of the elevator while Chan followed. " Why are we on my floor again? Isn't yours like, at the very top floor just to have that stunning view of the world or something? "

" Seems like some fanfiction you got there for me, " He chuckled first while you lowered your head in embarrassment. " But no, my office is at the opposite building, about two or three levels above yours which means it's the middle floor. In addition to that, I have to discuss matters with your boss due to some adjustments that we have over here, " He brought up his thumb to your view, talking about the red string. " Just hand over the documents then wait for me outside by the door, copy? " Chan explained as he stopped in front of a dark oak door, knocking on it three times.

" Adjustments? What- "

" Come in, " The voice on the other side of the door called out. You could've had a short session of hesitations first but this Bang Chan just opens the door widely and gives off such superior vibes that gave you the chills - like he should 'cause he's the CEO, he freaking owns the place. You did wonder why you haven't been fired yet after every informalities you've shown to him. What a great first impression you got there for a Chief Executive Officer, you're never gonna get a promotion to get out of this trashy position.

The surprising entrance of the uninvited and unexpected guest caught your boss off-guard. " Ah! G-Good morning, Mr. Bang! " Ms. Kang frantically stood up and bowed, her phone slipping off of her hands and onto the desk. Looking up, she saw you behind Chan, your hand fidgeting around the strap of your bag while head held down. " And Ms... (Y/N)? " She questioned as she averted her eyes back to Chan.

" Pardon me although I won't be here for long, I'm only handing you the documents like you instructed, Ms. Kang. " You said while handing her the documents. She took a quick scan on it before she gestured you to leave. Following Chan's instructions, you wait by the door as soon as you've shut it. Trying your best to not let curiosity get the best of you and eavesdrop, you distracted yourself by scrolling through your phone and jamming to some Monsta X's songs.

" May I ask what business brought you here to my office? "

" I'd like to compromise. "

It wasn't long that you've thought about getting fired and promotions, not even hours had passed.

Yet here you are, promoted and working as the CEO's assistant on that very day like it's the only choice. Standing on the polished marble floors, opposite side of the building, in his high-class office. It was spacious enough to fit two office desks and a lounge (probably for coffee breaks or small meetings) yet grand-looking with the accent walls and chandelier. The smell of lavender and the nice fluorescent glow it had made it better. Speaking of glow, you suddenly missed Kim Seungmin, the only co-worker friend you got. His bright presence who would constantly bother you from time to time during work hours. You can't really pinpoint whether he is an angel or demon with that fact because most likely you're the one being scolded instead of him. He better be jealous by the time he finds out you're now a CEO's Assistant.

" Ms. Kang got what she wished for in exchange for you getting the 2nd best achievable seat in the company, " Chan continued to elaborate the discussion in the room where it happened as he took a seat, not even bothering to help you fix your new desk if he was a gentleman. Honestly, it's undeniably comfortable being around this man despite you only got acquainted with him this day.

" Seriously? Can't you just promote me with a snap of your fingers? " You whined, arranging all of your things out from the container.

" Maybe if I had the infinity stones, " He first joked and you're not taking it. " Although it's Ms. Kang, there's an exchange for everything with her, " He casually said, looking through his emails with his chin resting on his fist.

" I- " Learn to shut your pesky little mouth, (Y/N). Your own conscience just sealed your mouth from babbling nonsense.

Well, let's think about the bright side. First up, you're promoted, meaning you'll get a way higher pay than before. Second, you're free from Ms. Kang's grasp. Third, Chan seems like a nice and chill boss. If your impression on him will be proven wrong, in any way he couldn't be as worse as Ms. Kang 'cause so far he saved your butt and doesn't mind your attitude.

" Ah, right. You're staying at my house for the meantime, " The book you're trying to place on the top shelf just fell on your head, making you lose your balance and fall to the ground. The loud thump made Chan glance at you, preventing himself from laughing. With your head aching and vision uneven, you tried to process what he said.

" What did you say? " Chan stood up from his chair and made his way towards you.

" I said you're staying at my house until we figure out how to break this thread off, " He answered as he offered a hand for you to take. This simple action made you tense, feeling your face heating up. You gladly took it with weak legs, though you eventually got back to your own feet without his support.

" Yours? Why not mine? I bet it's closer to work than yours. "

" You got a lot of complaints, I hope you know that. "

" No I'm not! Just.. talkative, " You bluffed, pouting. " And fine, your house then. Mine's probably not as presentable as yours anyway. "

This is the red string of fate that kept you two together the whole time, knotted around one another's finger securely. Both of you share the same thoughts while sitting on the couch in the living room of Chan's luxurious penthouse. It did offer extravagant views of Seoul from the top of the apartment, making everything feel so surreal. Could it possibly be malfunctioning? It's supposed to stretch out without limitations as well as it'll be invisible to the naked eye including yours, according to the tales and legends you've heard as a child. Most importantly, how could you break it off?

" Maybe this had to do something with the child, " Chan thought to himself, legs crossed and eyes trained down to the floor. " You cleared our schedule for the week, correct? " He looked towards you, catching your gaze on him.

" Yes, I did. Why? " You couldn't help but be enchanted in his brown eyes. It did look brighter in the sunset than before as the sunlight kissed his face. You wanted to take a closer look at it as to what it may hold within those orbs.

" You know the child back in the train? The one who placed this string of fate around our fingers? " With those words, you were snapped back into reality.

" Child? No? I was asleep, remember? " You looked away and a dog's appearance caught your attention, feeling soft and in 'awe' for it immediately. It had some large brown spots on its white fur, fluffy and has this wavy ears. It looks quite similar to that dog named 'Lady' in "Lady and the Tramp". Noticing that it was really friendly even with strangers, you patted its head lightly as it neared you. Chan witnessed you bond with his partner, smiling. The dog was ecstatic to make new friends with you that it jumped to your lap. Giggling, you ruffled its fur and kissed its forehead. " Seems like you're well loved, baby~ " You cooed, booping its nose.

" She's Berry, by the way. " Chan informed you while watching you play with berry's paws.

" I have to say, she's the cutest, " You flashed a beaming smile at him, eyes forming into crescents. Chan couldn't do anything but smile back, his heart slowly melting at the scene in front of him. You caught the sight of his dimples, which made you think that it's now one of your favorite features he has. If everyday's like this, it'd be such a bliss. Yet you know it'll somehow be just another memory you'll treasure since there will be an end to this.

Back to reality, Chan further tells you the details of the occurrences while you were sleeping. " Ah, right. About the child. If my memory serves me correct, he was blonde headed and had ocean blue-like eyes. He's about 4'6 feet in height and the one who placed this thread around our fingers. When I tried to run after him, he just vanished into thin air. "

" You sure you're not being delusional? " You carefully placed berry down on the couch then made your way to the kitchen.

" Positive. " He replied while petting his companion, who's getting some rest first, before following you. You asked him what his plans were, wrapping your fingers around the refrigerator handle. Opening it, you scanned for available foods due to your stomach being upset in this whole conversation. There's a lot of goods, especially meat. You're assuming that this man eats a lot even when he's on his own. While you were busy with that, Chan thinks of an itinerary for the whole week to get your own lives back. Until, his deep thoughts were interrupted by you.

" How about we eat dinner first so then you can plan properly, hm? You want steak? " You asked, placing the ingredients you need right in front of his view. His eyes just twinkled before you and were already on the raw steak, famished.

" Chris wants steak, please! " Enthusiastically said by Chris, giggling afterwards.

" Steak coming right up just for Chris! " He responded with a small clap, smiling ear to ear. You have to be honest, your first meeting with him is just the worst than any other possible happenings to you two's first meeting. Yet you're satisfied that at least you met him in some way that brought you closer, especially with this string of fate. And today's gonna be a long night for the both of you.

It's very late at night yet your body wouldn't let you rest despite Chan giving you his whole king-sized bed while he sleeps on his divan couch a few meters away, or so you thought he's fast asleep. Although the comforter, mattress, pillows, just the bed as a whole is definitely a 5-star, you can't really sleep easily in someone else's home that you just met. Minutes that felt like hours passed, your eyes were blankly staring at the ceiling. The silence was quite dreadful for you usually at night, which is what you get for watching a fairly ton of horror movies. With a few sessions of hesitations, you decided to break it by calling Chan first. " Psst. Hey Chan. Who designed your house? "

After a short pause, you received a fade sound of shifting and a groan. " A friend of mine. His name's Hyunjin. Why do you ask? " He responded, staring at the same ceiling as you. Arms resting behind his head.

You laid down on your stomach then propped your chin on your hands, facing him. " Is he cute? "

" Seriously, (Y/N)? " He deadpanned. " Also he's already Changbin's anyway so I suggest you stay away unless you want a death wish. "

" Okay, Okay. Chill. I'm just asking, " You rolled your eyes. " I just can't sleep. "

" I already offered you the best bed there is. " Chan looked at your direction and glared.

" It's not that. It's from the fact that I can't fall asleep easily in a stranger's house, that's for sure, " You shifted again in the soft cream cotton bed, letting your body sink. It's like you're laying on a relieving cloud in the heavens.

" We've already passed the stranger level. Let's say we're acquaintances. "

" That doesn't make any such difference especially to my problem but okay. " You pouted.

A long pause surrounded the room, the chills slowly creeping on to your skin. You covered your whole body with the warm comforter, feeling the slumber visiting you little by little. A yawn escaping your lips and eyes getting droopy. Pondering for a second before you let yourself sleep, you took a last glance towards Chan. " Are you cold? " You asked when you saw him without any blankets. He responded with a hum.

" A little bit. But I'll be alright, don't worry, " He yawned, eyes getting heavy as he slowly visited dreamland. " Goodnight, (Y/N). "

However, before you reply, you silently get off the bed when you're sure Chan's too tired to even open his eyes again. Making your way around the room with tippy toes until you found what you needed. You've gone over to his divan couch where he occupies it, placing the blanket you found on top of his and Berry's body, who happen to be sleeping peacefully right next to him. With a weak smile, you finally greeted him back before heading back to the bed and your slumber, " Goodnight Chan, Berry. Sweet dreams. "

Almost afternoon came but none of you decided to rise and shine, except for Berry who's starting to get hungry. It was indeed past her usual breakfast time and she doesn't seem to like the sound of having 'brunch'. So then to get what she needed, she has to be the doggo clock for today.

Berry starts barking the best that she could although it didn't make any much effect, Chan only responded by covering his ears and turning away while you stayed unbothered in your deep sleep. She proceeds to hop back on Chan's couch and licks his face, surely an effective way. He immediately flinched at the wet contact and moved Berry's face away from his, slowly opening his eyes to meet an adorable face smiling at him. " Good morning to you too, " He replied followed with a yawn.

The King Charles Spaniel dog makes her way out of the room after accomplishing step one. While Chan took his time before completely getting out of bed - or rather, couch. With a few stretches and after taking a glance at the time, he made his way out of the room to make breakfast. He glanced towards your sleeping figure. Mumbling a silent, " Thank you. " for what you've done to him in the middle of the night before carefully closing the door behind him.

Before he could even reach the kitchen, a tug from his thumb stopped him in his tracks. Chan forgot that the string of fate only has a length of 7 meters. Sighing, he went back to you and thankfully found you still fast asleep.

Chan sat down on the edge of the bed, your back facing him. Once more, his dark brown eyes gazed upon your sleeping beauty state underneath the sunlight. Once more, he admired this mesmerizing view of you for a good few seconds. He lightly tapped your shoulder, causing you to shift your body to face him while responding with a hum. " Good morning, it's time to rise and shine, " He greeted in his husky morning voice, unknowingly smiling sweetly at you. You replied with a groan, covering your whole body with the comforter. " C'mon, let's go and have breakky. "

" You should've woken me up when breakfast is ready, " You whined, your voice muffled underneath the comforter. Chan chuckled then pulled down the comforter away from your face, " I would've if it wasn't for this string. Now come on. ". You groaned, feeling defeated. Sitting up on the bed, you opened your eyes to meet Chan's face filled with softness and joy. Seeing that first thing in the morning made you smile. It was lovely.

A loud bark from outside of the room interrupted, assuming that Berry's dying of hunger. You instinctively hopped off the bed and hastily made your way to Berry, Chan followed suit. At the kitchen, you both found Berry sitting in front of her food bowl, whimpering. " Oh no, the baby's hungry, " You cooed as you knelt down to pet her. " Chan, you can start making our breakfast, " He followed your instruction, putting on an apron and started preparing you two's breakfast.

" Where's her food, by the way? "

" Are you sure we're gonna find him here? " You questioned, walking a little behind Chan at the same train station yesterday. His strides were big and quite fast which made it difficult for you to keep up at his pace. To the point that your eyes were set on the floor where you have a clear view of you two's feet. You're trying to match his pace but you immediately get worned out and fall behind once more. You guessed it was a CEO thing.

" Well, did you see him in any other places? " You fell silent, continuing to keep up with his pace. The fact that you've been asleep during that time and missed the chance to see who's behind this string of fate hit you. Chan's considered lucky to be awake and witness it.

Chan took a glance behind him to see your reaction, only to find you struggling to match with his settled pace. As soon as he noticed it, he slowed down and matched his pace with yours. Confused, you looked up at him. There were no signs of annoyance or pity on his face, and that made you delighted. What a considerate guy.

It wasn't that long until you both got in the train. The two of you sat down next to each other on a vacant bench and let the train lightly sway you as it starts moving. There was a comfortable silence lingering in the train car as you waited for this child to come into your view. Fortunately, the train's not as crowded as you thought it would be so it would be easier for you to spot the child.

After 3 more stops, you started to get distracted. Your eyes boring onto the view of the opposite window side. Chan kept cautious in his surroundings, still having high hopes of seeing the child's appearance. He didn't realize how much time had already passed and sooner or later, they'll reach the last stop. On the other hand, you slowly began to get drowsy. It's probably because you're sleep deprived for the past few weeks, over-working yourself since that Ms. Kang came into your life. You let your head rest on Chan's shoulder unconsciously which surprised him. With that, Chan first made sure you were comfortable, setting aside the thought of needing to meet the child. He hesitated first, though he did ended up wrapping his arm around you and kept you close to him. Feeling relaxed and secured, you shut your eyes as you slept in his warm embrace.

Chan noticed how much exhausted you are during the time he's been with you. He may not know exactly how tough your previous boss was to you, but it did show a huge impact on you. He thought that you looked so fragile underneath his touch, and he greatly feared the moment you might break. So he made sure to be careful with you. But other than that, he felt the urge - the need or wanting to protect you at that moment. He did questioned why, out of all people, he felt it from and because of you.

Maybe, it's because you looked so exquisite especially under the sunlight. Maybe, it's because he thought you looked adorable and amusing at the same time when you whine or complain. Maybe, it's because you're motherly especially to Berry.

Maybe, he just caught feelings for you. That's why he's questioning " why you? ", it was already love.

Unfortunately for the both of you, you never got to encounter the mysterious child once more. Days have already passed, it has been almost a week. Yet to you and Chan's dismay, no signs of the boy at all. The both of you began to lose hope and just give up. Especially you.

You felt guilty for being the least focused between the two of you, leaving Chan more responsibilities. Find the mystic child and to look out for you. You weren't really in the best shape right now, Chan knew that. You easily got tired, tend to oversleep, and you're hella pale, which you knew well that it isn't so you. " I'm sorry, " You mumbled weakly, your legs crossed and back lean on the couch pillows. Trying to not lay down and sleep more since you did just woke up from a faint.

Hearing this, Chan head over to you then immediately refused. " No, no, no. It's alright, no need to apologize. Just focus on getting better right now, okay? " You replied with a small nod, his warm hands were on yours. That simple touch always made your blood color your cheeks and feel so shy. He went back to the kitchen to continue preparing your dinner as soon as he is satisfied with your answer. In the mean time, Berry made sure to keep you busy and entertained.

While Chan's dicing some pork on a cutting board, he took a glance at the red string wrapped around his thumb. He noticed a small difference to it ever since the first day you both tried to look for the child. It had more of a faint color red, losing its opaqueness. Almost like it's about to vanish which is at some point is a good thing. Though it still has its limitations for length and never broke at your own will. He wondered if you have noticed it as well. What would it be like to be back on your own lives? Chan would be lying if he managed to picture that when he felt disheartened just at the thought of it. He got used to your small complaints, you baby talking and spoiling his dog, needing to be taken care of - when you're unable to do it yourself, even the pocket knife in your bag, that he couldn't imagine you being gone. You did became apart of his life afterall and that left him thinking of making you stay. Chan already figured that he's starting to like you back then on the train, 1st day of hunting down the child.

Which got him pondering. Concluding to a theory that maybe, this string of fate isn't going to vanish. It was only starting to get invisible to your naked eye, just like what you originally thought it would function. But it will always be there no matter what. This string of fate just happens to be more translucent the more you both realize how much you love each other.

Chan tore his gaze away from the string, switching to your pale figure in the living room. Once he knew he could leave the food cooking for a while, he grabbed a glass of water and went back to you. " You like that friend of yours, huh? " You referred to Berry's favorite dog plush. Seeing Chan in your peripheral vision, you locked eyes with him. Beaming him the sweetest smile you could muster which he instantly returned. He offered you the drink and you gladly took it into your hands. Taking a sip, you could feel Chan's eyes burning through your skin. Heat rushes to your face just by that. It's frustrating how you're so easy when he's by your side and only with him. Frequently getting the butterflies, timid, blushy, heart racing, distracted by how ethereal he is, and everything related. And you completely denied your feelings for him.

Chan took a seat beside you, now looking at the pitch black night sky out of his window walls. Those dark brown orbs showed a hint of disappointment. Following his gaze, you figured out the reason. The sky's literally pitch black, starless. As well as the moon being nowhere in sight. The melancholic sight did brought a frown to your face and you couldn't stand it. Looking back at him, you realized that there's no need for you to be crestfallen. In fact, you should be in awe.

It seems like Chan took and held the whole galaxy in his eyes that's why the night sky is empty. His eyes twinkling and shining in the darkness. Many must've envied him for that and it feels so surreal to witness it in by your very own eyes. To have it in front of you. And maybe, just maybe.

You do like Bang Chan.

" Where the hell are you taking me, Chan?! " You quietly panicked as Chan led you to an unfamiliar forest. Just the thought of the crawlies present in places like this made you shudder. " D-Do you really think the child would be brave enough to be here when I am already cowering in fear just looking at this? "

" We're not here for that child, " He chuckled at your state, continuing to walk ahead of you and deeper into the woods. Your wary eyes stayed restless, darting from left to right. " We're here to just relax. " Chan's voice began to echo the farther he is away from you.

You started to get pissed at how he started being inconsiderate and how relaxed he is right now, that's definitely not what you know about him. " What the fuck are you talking about?! So we're just wasting our ti- " The sudden raise of your voice resulted a noise in the forest - sounded like a bird flapping its wings. The sound made you flinch then you picked up your pace to get to him. You tugged onto Chan's jacket which caused him to stop and look back to you. " Chan, please, let's just go home. " You hushly pleaded from behind him, your head hung low in fear and embarrassment.

Sighing, Chan held both of your hands in his. Rubbing circles on it for you to ease up. The both of you still connected by the string of fate, which looks like it's bound to vanish soon. He also noticed how you're short in breath. " Easy, easy. Take deep breaths with me, yeah? " You matched his breathing with yours, eventually loosening up in his warmth like always. You just felt so safe and secure when you're with him. " Let's proceed? I promise you that when we get there, it'll be worth it. " He reassured, never leaving his grip on you.

" Chan.. " You whimpered and Chan instantly hushed you.

" If it makes you feel better, I'll never let go of you, " Oh how you wished that'll last forever. " Sounds good? " You nodded hesitantly.

With that, you let Chan lead you towards his destination. The comfort of his hands wrapped around yours never left on the way just like he promised. It wasn't too long until you saw light at the end of the forest. You could hear faint sounds of waves meeting the seashore and birds singing a melody. The fear you had a while ago slowly washed away as you're nearing the place.

Reaching the light, you witnessed the jaw dropping sight of the beach on the other side of the fence. Like Chan said, it is promising and worth it. He guided you in hopping onto an enormous boulder to get to the other side and you didn't complain, you're too drawn into the beach. In excitement, you went ahead of Chan, letting go of his grasp. Your feet immediately ushering you to the seashore where you could feel the cold water at your toes. As soon as you got here, you felt like you were cleansed. As if the sea took every problem, worries and fears away from you. It was healing and just the thought of it made you smile unknowingly. You never knew you needed this until now, it has been years since the last time you've been this carefree.

On the other hand, Chan's seated at his usual place. Where he could take in the whole view. Now that you were apart of it, everything seemed to set into place for his secret escapade paradise. All felt just right. The way you dance with the waves, moving with the sea, completely letting the rhythm of the water set yourself free. Plus the wind blowing your hair, your face glowing underneath the sun, how blinding your smile was at that moment, he cherished it all. " Perfect with no reasons, " Chan thought out loud as his eyes were trained on you. Unbeknownst to him, it was loud enough for you to hear it clearly.

" Perfect? " You questioned, making your way to his side. His eyes widened, alarmed. Chan looked away without hesitation. The tip of his ears starting to turn red in embarrassment. You sat down next to him, knowing that you'll be bringing some sand in your pockets back home. Noticing his ears, you let out a hearty laugh. " Aww, look at you! "

" I know, I know, " He started, covering his ears. " I'm helpless. "

" Huh? What are you talking about? " You asked while tilting your head to the side in confusion. There was a short pause, only the sound of waves continuously ringing in the area could be heard. As well as the sound of leaves rustling while the wind whispers sweet nothings to it and palm trees swaying from side to side.

" Like- "

" If this is you doubting yourself again, gosh Chan you're not the helpless one between the two of us. " You pointed out with your arms crossed. " You're a CEO of a well known company! Plus, who took care of me? You. Who saved my ass from Ms. Kang? You. Who just comforted me a while ago? You. You are never incapable or weak. If anyone told you otherwise, I- "

" I'm helplessly in love with you is what I meant, (Y/N)! " Chan confessed, now facing you.

Then, the thread in your fingers entirely loosened without any of you knowing.

The two of you locked eyes for a minute. Both surprised by everything, especially you. The wind did whisper something to the two of you, too. Yet it's difficult to figure it out at the moment. Even in broad daylight, his eyes still held the whole galaxy. And you could never let that dim.

" You walked into my life as if you've always lived there, like my heart was a home built just for you, " Chan continued, his hand already searching for yours. Looking down at your now intertwined hands, eyes filled with pure love and adoration. " It fits just like a glo- "

Perfect with no reasons.

Chan was taken by surprise at your sudden answer. You cutted him off, attaching your lips to his. Your free hand finding itself cupping his face. He then passionately responded to the kiss, his arm snaking its way around your waist to keep you close - now that the string of fate is invisible and endless. The kiss resulted you to feel so lightheaded. The softness of his lips brought you to euphoria, everything just felt so right in place. In the end, both of you were left breathless. You couldn't do anything for a few seconds after, keeping your eyes closed with mouth agape of you to try let your mind process what just happened.

You did't need for him to explain or give you anymore reasons why he loves you. The string of fate has always been the answer, reason and explanation to your love. Ever since the beginning, you and Chan are destined to meet regardless of the time, place or circumstances. It may stretch or tangle but nothing could break it and never will. You're one another's someone's someone who you can't live without.

End.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Cinderella (Spoilers)

Disclaimer: I am posting this review the day after the movie airs on Amazon Prime, so if you haven't yet seen it don't read on until you do.

General Reaction:

It is slightly weird to think of another movie studio taking on one of the classic fairy-tales that isn't Disney, because, as I am sure is the case for a large portion of the mainstream audience, Disney have almost claimed fairytale adaptations as their own.

However, as identified, Cinderella, is a fairy tale and one created long before Disney came about. As such, other studios are allowed to put across their own interpretation of these classic stories that we have seen a lot of times adapted at this point.

That being said, we have seen many different adaptations of Cinderella at this point from the classis Disney Animation version and it's live-action counterpart, to modern-day reworkings like A Cinderella Story of the mid-noughties starring Hilary Duff.

It's quite an easy story to tell and adapt to a variety of different settings, and what this 2021 retelling does with the story blends the old-fashioned with the modern. Does that mean it is set apart from the others? Well in my opinion yes and no.

While this is a Sony movie, it plays a lot like a Disney Channel Original Movie. From the comedy to the settings to the costuming and the music, it plays like the best of those types of movies. I'm talking the High School Musical franchise and the Descendants franchise. It is by no means bad or corny, but it isn't even on the level of the 2016 live-action Cinderella.

While that version was pretty much a straightforward live-action version of the original animated version, the style of the movie outweighed the substance.

Here however, there is a great blend of both style and substance. The story takes the classic elements of the original Cinderella fairy tale but tries to inject a modern and feministic twist that the recent live-action Beauty and the Beast tried to do.

In terms of whether this version of Cinderella stands out in the crowd of Cinderella movies, I would say it does. Not only is the titular character race-bent and the setting she is in seemingly plays into that, but the reworking of the Fairy Godmother as the Fab G as well as giving the Stepmother a more humanised backstory allows for a more compelling take on a classic.

Cast:

Because this is just the one all-in review I'm not going to do an in-depth character analysis and instead group the characters as who were my favourites, who did a passable job, who was bad and who were for some reason just there.

Favourites:

I have a top 3/4 favourite characters in this movie. Idina Menzel's Stepmother Vivian, Billy Porter's Fab G, Minnie Driver's Queen Beatrice and additionally Beverly Knight's Queen Tatiana.

Idina Menzel was always going to be fantastic in this movie, but to see her portray what is traditionally the villain character in the movie as a sympathetic character as part of the movie's feminist agenda was an interesting twist. No cat for a start, I don't know if Lucifer was a part of the original fairy tale but of course in the Disney adaptations Lady Tremaine is always accompanied by her faithful feline, but also the fact that her backstory parallels Ella's current story and the fact Vivian was so willing to have Ella reject her passion to do what is expected of her just as was forced on her was actually great motivation.

In truth I have only ever seen Billy Porter in one other thing aside from this movie and that was American Horror Story: Apocalypse. I have never seen Pose though I have heard good things, but from what I understand, Billy Porter only really has one speed. However, as the character's name states, that speed is fabulous. I loved Fab G in this movie, the fairy godmother is usually one of my favourite characters in the movie and every interpretation I have seen has brought something different and memorable. If this version of Cinderella is remembered for anything it will be for this very modernised take on the Fairy Godmother, not only gender-bending and race-bending a traditionally white female character, but with Porter choosing to make the character non-binary and that outfit speaks for itself, Fab G was simply a fabulous character.

In both Disney adaptations, I have never heard mention or reference to Prince Charming having a living mother...or a dead one for that matter. So to not only have the Queen being in a chunk of this movie, but also having her own story branch tying into the feminist agenda running through the movie and being portrayed by Minnie Driver, I was in love with this character.

Pretty much similar to the Fab G, if you've seen Beverly Knight's one second in the trailers you've pretty much seen her in the movie. She contributes to Ella's story in the movie and only appears in the latter half of the movie in 2 maybe 3 scenes but she makes an impact because she's Beverly Knight. My only gripe with her is she does not sing in the movie, you have Beverly Knight with not even a solo in a group number?

Passable:

Unfortunately the star of the movie Camilla Cabello is just passable in this movie as Cinderella. She does have some humour about her and her singing is great despite maybe being autotuned because I know how she can sing, but she doesn't feel like Cinderella to me, it actually feels more like a version of what Emma Watson was doing with Belle in the live-action Beauty and the Beast rather than Cinderella but at least she tried.

As for Nicholas Galitzine, he's definitely more engaging as a modern-day Prince Charming, Robert is definitely more engaging a character than Ella unfortunately, which to be fair is still good as the 2015 Cinderella is the only other adaptation to really make the Prince interesting, but I can't quite put my finger on exactly which movie it is but there is another movie I have seen where the Prince Regent doesn't want to be king but the Princess does and has to fight for her right to be it...that's pretty much this story for them.

Also Pierce Brosnan as the King, despite jokingly singing towards the end, did a great job at being the archetype of old-fashioned values with his on-screen wife Minnie Driver's queen pushing him into a modern-day thinking.

Bad:

As for who's bad, I have to say it pains but the British comic relief characters really let the side down in this movie.

In the three mice defence, Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster are somewhat funny but unnecessary. James Corden however is abismal in this movie. I get he produces it, but particularly after Cats I do not understand 1) Why he'd want to portray another CG animal or 2) Ever think that one shot of him changing back from human to mouse with his head on a mouse body was funny...it was terrifying.

Also this movie is supposedly a family-audience movie...so why include a crass joke of Corden's character talking about peeing out of his front tail?

Additionally to the three mice, Rob Beckett has a surprising role in this movie as a potential suitor for Vivian's daughters, but he simply portrays such a creepy, cringe-worthy character it's almost uncomfortable to watch.

New Additions:

So as well as the two queens and the British comic relief there is also the addition of Princess Gwen to the movie who is the sister of the Prince and the one who wants to be ruler. It's kind of the same story as Jasmine's in the live-action Aladdin as wanting to be Sultan but being a woman isn't taken seriously, however here it is treated more comedically as every time there is a serious moment with the King trying to force Robert to grow up and be King, she always tries to interject with "Would this be a bad time to tell you about an actual real reason why I would be a good ruler" and they make sense but she's always dismissed until the very end.

Then there's a town crier, who is also inserted as a musical number while he's reading his proclamations but as a rap. Honestly I don't know Doc Brown as an artist but I did happen to enjoy what he contributed.

Music:

Which brings us on nicely to the music of the movie as this is a musical and I usually break down the songs. Again this time I will be doing groupings of best to worse.

Honestly my favourite number is probably "Shining Star" mostly performed by Billy Porter with verses by Camilla Cabello and, unfortunately, James Corden.

I also enjoyed the two original songs of the movie, "Million to One" which is Cabello's "I Want" song of the movie and used a lot through the movie, and then also "Dream Girl" which is Idina's main other song but also sung by basically the women of the movie, it's Idina Menzel if you don't give her an original song it's an insult.

Idina's other song is a cover of "Material Girl" and honestly it is a lot of fun, Nicholas Galitzine's rendition of "Somebody to Love" was also fun and surprising as I did not think this guy could sing that well.

The group numbers were fun and well choreographed but they are also somewhat forgettable. The song at the ball of "Whatta Man/Seven Nation Army" was probably the most memorable but still just mediocre.

Recommendation:

So with all that said, would I recommend watching Sony's Cinderella? Honestly I would say it is worth at least one viewing, and I do recommend watching all the way through just to get the full experience. I do think it will do better as a streaming movie than it would have done as a theatrical release, but I cannot pinpoint a market for this movie.

I don't think this will go down as one of the great adaptations, but there are moments and aspects of the movie that sets it apart from the crowd.

Overall I rate this movie a 7/10, it's not as fantastic as I feel the trailers were making it out to be, but having seen the movie twice there are definitely elements of the movie I looked forward to watching the second time around.

So that's my review of Sony's Cinderella, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

[damnzawa]

FIVE TIMES — A. SHOUTA

Summary : Five times the staff of U.A. and Class 1-A tried to get the two of you together but then realized you were together all along.

Warning(s): Immense fluff! Also tiny-weeny bit of smut.

The First Time: The time 1-A started shipping the two of you together

"Today we will be joining by the pro-hero H/n to help you learn more about tactics and planning." Aizawa stated in his usual monotone voice as he motioned for you to go in. You walked to the podium with a smile as you saw the faces of the students of 1-A upon hearing and seeing that you were here. It amazed you that Aizawa didn't even expel someone this year, they must be one hell of a bunch if that's the case. "You can ask her any questions within reason. Be quick." Rolling your eyes at Aizawa, you placed a hand on your hip as you looked at him.

"At least act like you're glad to work with me, Eraserhead." You pouted. "Anyways, I'm the pro-hero H/n! My name is L/n Y/n and I look forward to working with you guys! Especially since you're like the only class he hadn't expelled anyone." You snickered at the end, eyeing Aizawa from the corner of your eye. His left eye twitched as he shot you a glare which was a signal that you should just fucking continue.

"Any questions?" As soon as the words left your mouth almost all of the hands of the students shot up. You gladly answered all the questions they have for you like: what's your quirk, does it have drawbacks, what's it like to work with all might and yadda yadda yadda. For the last question, you pointed to a girl with pink skin and horns coming out of her head.

"Are you single?" If you were new to the hero scene, you would have certainly be flustered as hell but fortunately, you had been asked this question tons of times especially since you are a female hero. You nodded your head as Aizawa scolded Ashido—that was her last name—telling her that it was your personal business and that she shouldn't be nosy on other people's lives. You waved dismissively at Aizawa and told the class that you were used to questions like that so it doesn't bother you anymore that much.

"Well, okay then!" You clapped. "Get into your hero costumes and we'll be waiting for you on the training grounds!" You smiled as you ushered Aizawa outside the room, 1-A curiously staring at the way the two of you interact.

Their teacher doesn't seem to react like he usually does around you, he was even going with the flow of your antics, he even flicked your forehead at one point with a smirk! And what the fuck—was that a small smile, they saw? They were clearly confused about how the fuck did you have that kind of effect on him. Even Present Mic wouldn't get that reaction from him so what made you any different?

"Ms. L/n and Mr. Aizawa looks cute together." And with those words that came from Uraraka's mouth, 1-A's surprised looks—not all of them were surprised nor spared a glance at their teachers interacting—were replaced with knowing ones as they looked at each other clearly knowing what to do.

"I oppose to this, as Mr. Aizawa said—" But even with Iida scolding them they just continued with their plan anyway. Surprisingly Yaoyaorozu even put opinions on the plan with Todoroki nodding every once in a while, agreeing with her.

"Hurry up, future heroes! We don't have all day!" You exclaimed as you noticed that they were still in the room making Aizawa sigh. The students fastened their pace as they went to the changing rooms, after quickly agreeing to the plan.

"Hey Ms. L/n. Mr. Aizawa is super manly right?" Kirishima suddenly said to you once Aizawa took on the students as the 'villain' for the training they had for today. You looked over to Aizawa and immediately agreed with Kirishima. Not only manly with his looks, Aizawa was also manly when it comes to his personality. He was selfless, kind and passionate about what he was doing. He was so goddamn manly alright.

You hummed in agreement as your attention went from Aizawa to Kirishima who had a strange look on his face. "It's a shame though. Someone manly as Mr. Aizawa is single." You raised a brow at his statement. What was he implying?

"I'm sure Shouta will find love when we wants to. Though i'm sure the day he wants to find love is the day he wants to die." You giggled at your statement as Kirishima mentally face-palmed. Did you not get what he meant by that? For a hero, that went over your head quickly which surprised him.

"Maybe Mr. Aizawa needs someone to show him love if that's the case then." You smiled at the statement, clearly sensing the concern his student has for his teacher. Although he was pushing this topic, you didn't mind. He was true, Aizawa needs someone to show his hard ass some fucking love every once in a while.

"I'm sure he'll find that someone soon enough. Though i'm under the impression that he'll end up with Present Mic." Kirishima couldn't help but laugh at your statement. It was quite true though, at first the whole class 1-A thought that Aizawa was hella gay for Yamada. His laugh caught the eye of Aizawa who just shot you a look of disapproval, to which you just shrugged.

Kirishima excused himself from the heroine then walked towards his friends as he shook his head. The group frowned at the signal and just waited for their turn to take on Mr. Aizawa.

The Second Time: Yamada and Nemuri's great plan

"You should really take care of yourself Shouta." You nagged, Shouta just grunting and groaning at your nagging. "Don't grunt at me mister, you can't live on jelly packs forever!"

The duo watched as the of you bickered back and forth about you being a hypocrite as you were living on coffee all the fucking time and you defending yourself from him everytime. If a stranger came in through the door they would've guessed that the two of you are an old married couple fighting over each other's well being.

"Can you two fucking stop and just fuck already? The tension around you is very fucking high." Kayama intervened making the two of them abruptly stop. Aizawa shot Kayama a death glare while you blushed, quickly looking away so that they would not notice it but it was too late though, Hizashi saw and smirked.

Though Kayama used the wrong choice of words, there was indeed a tension around the two of you that they couldn't exactly pinpoint. They were tired of the said tension and just want their otp to be together forever and ever.

"Shut up, Nemuri. We're just friends! Friends that are looking out for each other!" You defended yourself earning an 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' look from both Hizashi and Kayama. Are you that fucking dense? With you they never know.

"Yeah, yeah and i'm not loud all the fucking time. Sure Y/n." Hizashi stated earning a deadpanned look from Aizawa who decided not to say something because he knows this conversation will just get longer if he did and he wasn't exactly in the mood for that.

"Again, shut up the both of you." You groaned as you retreated back to your desk that was just beside Toshinori's who shot you a knowing look which you just dismissed. Of course Toshinori just had to look at you like that. He knows something they clearly don't and knows that someday you will have to tell them and you didn't want that someday to be today so you just plastered on a look that says 'No-Toshinori-Just-Shut-Up' which made him focus on his computer.

Kayama and Hizashi glanced at each other before walking towards you. You already know they had something planned when they approached you, their faces filled with mischief.

"... What do you want now?" You sighed through your nose. "Well, we were planning to go out for drinks later. Want to come? Shouta will come too, right Shouta?"

"No." Aizawa declined quickly upon hearing their preposition. Aizawa even though declining knew that Kayama and Hizashi wasn't gonna let him slide away that quickly. Just the thought of drunk Hizashi and Kayama made his head hurt.

"See? Shouta is coming! So what do you say?" Seeing as there was no way you were gonna avoid this, you just nodded and told them to go away quickly returning to your work. You really don't want to go but it was Hizashi and Kayama we're talking about.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! We're gonna have some fun later!"

—

"What happened to 'Hey! Hey! Hey! We're gonna have some fun later?'" You mocked Hizashi as you stood outside the restaurant with Aizawa waiting for the two that had just announced that they couldn't make it because of something with the school—which was obviously a fucking lie.

Aizawa—who was clearly not in a good mood—grunted and left without a word, leaving you there on the side walk alone. If he had been in a good mood he would've invited you inside to eat together and maybe even chuckle at your poor attempt at mocking Hizashi's voice but no that wasn't the case and instead he left you there with a fucking frown on your face. What a fucking gentleman, Aizawa is.

"He's so grumpy especially when he got no sleep." You pouted, taking your phone out and quickly plugging it into your headphones. "What an old man. He didn't even say goodbye nor walk me home." You mumbled as you started walking to the direction of your home after pressing on your go to playlist.

As 'The Ballad of Mona Lisa' by Panic! at the Disco came on, you smiled. This was a playlist that you made back for your 'emo phase' which Aizawa surprisingly liked. You weren't surprised though as he looked emo 24/7.

From behind the bushes on the other side of the road, the pair watched what happened and groaned. "'This will definitely work out' you said. Look genius, did it work out? No."

"It wasn't my fault they didn't take the bait! Don't blame me all for it Nemuri! Blame them too for being so fucking oblivious to their own fucking feelings!" And with that they continued to bicker like siblings, earning the attention of passersby. They didn't care though—when did they really care?

"Midnight? Present Mic? What are you doing over here?" Their bickering caught the attention of Iida, Midoriya and Uraraka as they walked to the station, clearly they weren't surprised that they were so fucking loud in the middle of the street because that's Present Mic and Midnight for you but they were confused as to why they were squabbling behind the bushes. Bushes, of all places.

"Nothing! We weren't spying or anything! Hehe..." Hizashi 'defended' making it look more obvious than it really is. The trio blinked at his statement, pros are like this these days? Geez.

"Fine! We were spying!" Hizashi gave in to the looks that were thrown at him by the dekusquad, them making a mental note to not say anything crucial to Hizashi fearing that he has loose lips. (He does have loose lips.)

"Who are you spying on? Was it Ms. L/n and Mr. Aizawa? We saw them on the way here but noticed that they went on their separate ways quickly." Uraraka stated. "Oh! Were they on a date?"

"Did our plan work?!" Midoriya exclaimed catching the attention of the two pro-heroes. Did 1-A ship the two of you too? They even planned something before the two of them! Damn, kids nowadays. They move fast.

"You guys had a plan too?" Hizashi asked and with that the two parties decided to do something for the two completely oblivious people in their lives.

The Third Time: In which 1-A, Hizashi and Kayama joined forces

"Goodbye Eraserhead!" Hizashi practically pushed Aizawa out the door as Midnight emerged from the other door minutes after. Most of 1-A were curious and confused as to why two pro-heroes were here for English but they just guessed that even Present Mic can have problems with English too.

"Alright, today we are gonna be joined by pro hero Midnight because we all have important matters to discuss." Hizashi stated slowly as a grin began to grow on his face. "We are gonna plan how Y/n and Shouta will confess to each other! Yeah!" Almost all of the students cheered because their teachers also shipped the two of them—and partially because no english yey—while some of them sighed asking themselves that this was important than english? They just went with the flow anyway, couldn't hurt to skip one lesson right?

"Now do you guys have suggestions?" Immediately upon asking that dozens of hands shot up, the faces of the students eager to share what they want to suggest. Yaoyorozu even raised her hand which was hella surprising.

"I suggest that they should just confess but in a manly way!" Kirishima's answer was broad yes but it gave Ashido an idea. "Oh! Maybe trap them in a room until they manly confess to each other!" Kirishima and Ashido high fived after, happy about their suggestion.

"Just fucking send them on a mission to kill each other—" Before Bakugo could even finish his suggestion, Aoyama cut in flashing his signature weird pose. "Bonjour! I suggest that we send them on a vacation, to France!"

"Bakugo's suggestion is too violent and Aoyama's is too expensive." Asui pointed out the obvious, her tongue sticking out from her mouth.

"Shut up Frogface! I wasn't asking your fucking opinion!" Bakugo responded to the future frog hero. They were surprised that Bakugo even threw in his suggestion in the first place—even though it was violent—let alone be annoyed at Asui's opinion.

"Make Mr. Aizawa or Ms. L/n jealous!" Cliché but there was a chance it could work. Sero hummed in agreement with Kaminari. It worked with some movies so it should work with them right?

Meanwhile Uraraka, Iida and Midoriya were brainstorming, not listening to what others were suggesting and asking Yaoyorozu and Todoroki for their opinions about what they have thought about. Once they've got the go signal for them to share their suggestion, Iida raised his hand and stood up. "I suggest that a certain student should use his quirk on them." Iida adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose as Kayama asked who the student was. "Shinsou Hitoshi."

"We could brainwash the other to confess to the other one! Nice!" Hizashi exclaimed giving Iida is signature finger guns. "Any other suggestions?" Tons of other ideas came around until they reached the decision by the end of the class.

"Well then, it's settled! We move after lunch!" And with that Hizashi and Kayama left, the students clearly excited about what's to come. Would they plan succeed? Only a few more hours to find out.

—

"Shinsou! Shinsou!" Midoriya called out to Shinsou who he luckily spotted walking towards Lunch Rush. The boy turned around and was shocked to even see not only Midoriya but almost all of Class 1-A running after him which made him tilt his head to the side. Why were they after him?

"Shinsou, we need you for something." Iida quickly explained what they needed him for catching him off guard as he smirked. Were they really that oblivious to the situation that they've gone such long heights just for the two of you? Well since Shinsou doesn't have anything to do anyways he decided to agree, at least this was gonna be fun.

"Sure. Where are they?" Shinsou asked, 1-A quickly and gladly giving him the information he needed.

They waved at Shinsou as they watched his back go further and further away. Kaminari wiped a non-existant tear on his face, "Damn. He's braver than the marines."

"He really is."

Shinsou took no time in finding you and Shouta since the two of you were together anyways. Shinsou understood why 1-A wanted the two of you together because damn you looked cute together. You and Aizawa could be that crime fighting couple that make the villains tremble with fear. The two of you would kick a lot of ass and take a lot of names together especially with your quirk.

"Good afternoon Ms. L/n and Mr. Aizawa." Shinsou greeted the both of you cutting yours and Aizawa's conversation short. "Can I excuse Ms. L/n for a while, sir?" Aizawa was confused as to why his student approached them and he grew even more confused when he asked him that. Aizawa nodded weakly as he watched Shinsou and you talk from afar. He noticed the way you interact with the kid and vice versa but failed to notice Shinsou using his quirk on Y/n.

"Goodbye, Ms. L/n." And with that Shinsou left, not wanting to see his mentor's reaction when he finds out that he used his quirk on Y/n. Shinsou knew his mentor would be furious but it's all gonna be worth it.

Class 1-A though wanted to see both of your reactions as they hid behind the two of them. This was finally it, they could feel it. Finally the day came where they were gonna see their otp come true. They waited in anticipation as you walked back to Aizawa.

"Hey Shouta, want to go out sometime?" And with that the effect of Shinsou's quirk vanished, leaving you confused. What the actual fuck happened?

"Wait—what? What happened?" You blinked as Aizawa sighed, clearly knowing what happened to you.

"Shinsou used his quirk on you." Aizawa sighed as he rubbed his temples. "Hurry up. We don't want to waste time." Aizawa said as he walked away, leaving you there. Clearly someone is grumpy today too.

"Wha—Hey Shouta! Wait for me, you old man!" You caught up to him quickly as you resumed your previous conversation.

1-A's hopeful looks were replaced with disappointed ones. Time for Plan B then.

The Fourth Time: Plan B a.k.a lock them in a room and hope that Shouta doesn't kill his students, Hizashi and Kayama

"Shouta! Shouta! We need you for something!" Hizashi screamed at Aizawa who just woke up from his nap. Rubbing his eyes, Aizawa let out an irritated sigh. What could they possibly want right now? It was too early for this bullshit. (Although it was past noon. But still, early for Shouta.)

"What is it, Yamada?" He asked, his usual monotone voice had a hint of irritation in it. "Well, Bakugo and Midoriya—" Aizawa paid no mind in letting Hizashi finish as the two names of those trouble makers were stated. He got up as Hizashi accompanied him to where the trouble was happening.

"Damn those problem children." Aizawa muttered under his breath. Just how many times do they have to fucking fight? Did they not learn after the last one? If that's the case then he got to drill it to their mind then.

"Where is it Hizashi?" He turned to face Hizashi who was now missing from his spot next to Aizawa. Aizawa looked around for any signs of Hizashi but found none, when did he disappear?

Aizawa sighed then decided to just walk back to the teacher's lounge. If this was a prank then he wasn't having any of it. He just wasted time and instead could've get grading done. Hizashi was gonna get it later.

Before he could even leave a force pushed him back to a dark room. He didn't expect that to happen. Was it a villain attack? He furrowed his eyebrows, no it's not a villain attack. If it was the alarms could've rang off. But what if they have a quirk that can silence the alarms? No, they have Present Mic he could've easily be the alarm.

So what was happening?

"Hey man, whoever the fuck you are. Can you like move? You're in my personal space." An oh so familiar voice told him making him sigh. Of course, it was another one of Hizashi's poor attempts on getting the two of them together. "Wait, I know that sigh." You stated before calling out to him. "Shouta? What are you doing here?"

"Since when were you trapped in here, Y/n?" Aizawa ignored your previous question as he searched for the light switch. You could've been there for like minutes before hin right?

"To be honest, I don't know how long i've been here for." This made Aizawa raise an eyebrow at her, if there had been a light you would've hit him in the shoulder already but thankfully there wasn't. He kept fucking searching for the light switch until he found one which was near the fucking door like all light switches were. When they finally had light they realized where they were.

A janitor's closet. Great, just so great. This was so clichè.

"Why didn't you use your quirk then?" You opened your mouth to defend yourself but closed it quickly. "Well... hehehe."

"You took a nap here didn't you." You scratched the back of your neck as you smiled sheepishly at Aizawa. It was true, you had infact taken a nap in the janitor's closet but in your defense you were so tired from the heroics class—you were used as the human punching bag—and was in desperate need of refulling your lost energy. So who could blame you for doing that?

"I was tired, ok. My eyes closed before I could even process it being closed!"

Aizawa let out a tch. You were an adult goddmanit. So why were you doing things like this?

"I'm kicking the door down." Aizawa stated before looking at you who already had your eyes closed. "Y/n."

"You go, do you." You stiffled a yawn with the back of your hand. "That nap still wasn't enough." You layed back down, exhaustion evident on your pretty face. Aizawa looked at you before deciding to lay down beside you and grunt at the lack of space.

"Wha—What are you doing?"

"Move. You're squishing me." You complied deciding not to protest. Good thing you both don't have classes to teach that afternoon or else you both would've been screwed.

Aizawa made himself comfortable beside you and instinctively wrapped a protective arm around you making you blush and scoot closer to him. He was radiating a nice warmth and had an aura of protectiveness around him which made you feel at home as you closed your eyes.

"I though you were going to kick down the door?" You lightly snickered at the end of your statement.

"I got tired." Of course, he was always tired anyways. After a few minutes of silence, you let the darkness envelop you in a welcoming hug and with that, the both of you fell asleep on each other's arms. Clearly not knowing about the crowd that was on the other side of the door, listening to everything they say.

"Do you hear anything Jirou?" She shooked her head as an answer. "Let's wait a few more minutes then." The few more minutes turned into a few hours as they all began to worry.

"Are they dead?" Kaminari asked from the back. 1-A's eyes widened as they realized Kaminari could be right. The both of you could've suffocated in there but wouldn't Aizawa get the both of you out minutes after being locked in there?

"Maybe they're having some fun!" Kayama exclaimed making their worried faces turn into disgust. If they were 'having some fun' they would've heard especially with a quirk like Jirou's.

"Let's just break them out and hope that Shouta would not kill us." And with that they opened the lock, only to reveal a sleeping you with Aizawa. Your legs were tangled together as you laid your head on his chest, both of you breathing evenly. They all let out a sigh of relief that the both of you didn't die—and because Aizawa wouldn't kill them instantly on the spot—and let the two of you be with frowns plastered on their faces after taking a few (hundred) pictures of course.

They were confused. How the fuck did that not work? It was perfect! Well, atleast for them. They failed once again but that doesnmt mean that they'll give up that easily! It's time to move to Plan C and they know the perfect person for the job.

The Fifth Time: Make Aizawa jealous

"Thank you for doing this Tensei." You thanked Iida as you wheeled him towards 1-A's heroic's class. "It really means so much to me, to us."

"Nah, it's no problem! I wanted to see Tenya in action and U.A. Feels nostalgic, you know?" You nodded clearly knowing what he meant by that. When you first started teaching at U.A.—by Midnight's recommendation—tons of memories quickly bombarded you as soon as you stepped inside the school grounds like how you met Aizawa and Hizashi, your first sports festival and etc. It was all nostalgic to you that you almost teared up just by how far you and your classmates have gone.

"I miss U.A." He pouted. "And I miss you too!"

"Aww, I miss you too Tensei."

"Plus, who would decline a proposal from a pretty girl from you?" Iida's voice suddenly began louder as he stated that when the two of you arrived in front of 1-A's room. You giggled at his statement and stretched your hand to open the door but before you could Aizawa already opened the door for the both of you.

"Thanks, Eraserhead!" You wheeled Iida in, clearly in a good mood to see another one of your best friends again. If you had the time you would certainly visit Iida but you were pretty busy nowadays and the only way you can communicate with him is through texts which was obviously not enough.

"Alright-y then. Shall we start?" You asked the pro-heroes beside you with a smile. As the pro-heroes explained, 1-A could sense how uncomfortable Iida was. Of course he would be uncomfortable. His brother was gonna flirt with his teacher for fucks sake. Who could blame him?

"Time for Plan C! Make Aizawa jealous!!" Hizashi announced once homeroom was over and Aizawa was out of earshot. "Normally it was make L/n jealous but since Ms. Joke is not available, we changed it to 'make Aizawa jealous!'" Hizashi rambled on as Kayama appeared, seducingly emerging from the door.

"Yes Iida?" Hizashi called Iida as his hand shot up instantly after hearing the words slip out from the english teacher's mouth. "May I ask who is the person we are gonna ask to make Mr. Aizawa jealous?"

"Great question, Iida!" Hizashi and Kayama shared a look before laughing. "Iida. Can you call your brother?" Hizashi asked in between laughs. Iida froze at his teacher's request, his eyes widening.

"Eh?! Ingenium?!" The class roared out clearly surprised at who they chose. "May I ask why my brother?"

"Again, good question Iida!" This time it was Kayama who spoke up. "Tensei is and I quote Y/n's bestest friend besides us. I remember how close they were when we were in high school! Some even thought they were dating but in truth they weren't. They're just good friends, very good friends at that."

"I remember Y/n even babysitted you Iida!" Iida blushed in embarrassment, did she really? Well he was a baby at that time, he wouldn't remember it now.

"Let's start planning!" And with that 1-A—not all of them though Bakugo and Todoroki seemed interested—clustered around the podium where the planning began. A lot of ideas were given out and a lot were sadly rejected but that didn't bring their spirits down as more ideas came after.

"Well then! Give your brother a call Iida! Tell him about the plan and i'll tell Y/n about heroic's class tomorrow! Surely Iida will be the perfect candidate for that!" And with that Hizashi and Kayama dismissed them feeling proud of what they've done and accomplished.

"Are you sure this will work? Shouta seems to be like the type who doesn't get jealous." At first glance Aizawa isn't a man to be possesive over something so this plan may be a bust but Hizashi knows his best friend better than Kayama, he was sure as hell Aizawa will get jealous once Iida starts flirting with you.

"Oh, just trust me Nemuri! This will work out!" Kayama quirked a brow at him then decided to just trust Hizashi, he knows a lot more about you and Aizawa after all.

"Now that all of that is done, please wear your hero costumes and go outside!" Before Aizawa could even speak to you, you wheeled Iida out already engaged in a conversation with him. You didn't even bother to spare a glance at Aizawa as you talked with Iida, immediately catching up to what's happening with him these past few days. He slipped in a few compliments—that he made sure Aizawa heard—and comments about you that made you giggle.

Toshinori felt the same tension again. He looked at Aizawa only to find him staring at Iida and you but mostly you. Toshinori almost let out a laugh seeing Aizawa's expression when Iida flirted with you and could only guess that this was a work done by Hizashi and Kayama because Iida would never like you in that way, he made it clear when you were in high school.

"Thank you again for inviting me, Y/n. Brings back good memories." You smiled widely at Iida and told him that it was no problem, after all he was a pro-hero like her and pro-heroes help each other out.

"I was wondering, would you like to go out sometime?" Aizawa's eye twitched once Iida asked the question. He was irritated that you didn't even told Iida off when he was clearly flirting with you and most of all he was annoyed by the fact that you agreed on his proposal, asking him what time and when. That was the last straw for Aizawa and Toshinori could sense something blunt and sharp coming.

"Are you both done flirting? We have a class to teach so I suggest you wrap things up and proceed to the gym." You were taken aback by Aizawa's outburst but then moments later you smirked. Was he jealous? Aizawa walked past the two—like he was in a hurry—leaving the three of them dumbfounded.

"What was that about?" Iida asked you feigning confusion but on the inside he was proud at the outcome of his work. He got Aizawa jealous and that was a rare occassion.

"I have a feeling somebody has their period today." You joked making the two of them—yes even Toshinori—laugh but on the inside you know you were screwed. Aizawa was gonna give you the cold shoulder from then on and you knew it.

When all of you arrived at the gym, 1-A and Iida (Tensei) waited for anything to happen but... nothing. Nothing happened except for the little outburst from Aizawa earlier. They even waited after school hours when they were at the faculty room but no, no, no. Still nothing.

"I'm sorry guys." Hizashi and Kayama practically slumped over upon hearing Iida's apology. Their last plan failed once again but they had hoped it gave them the push to say something, anything to each other.

Little did they know, they confessed to each other years back, when they were still in high school.

When Hizashi and Kayama found out

Hizashi and Kayama still didn't give up after many failed attempts so when they had another plan they went to your office, excited about the upcoming events.

"I sure hope this fucking work or else i'm gonna smash their skulls together." Kayama grunted as she pushed the door of your office open and what they saw left their mouths hanging.

Moments before the two of them walked in on you and Aizawa making out, Aizawa had confronted you about what happened earlier with Iida (Tensei). Of course he was jealous and to make things worse you poke fun of him because of it.

He got angry but didn't even dared to raise his voice at you because he wanted to solve this in the rational and logical way possible and you knew that. After all those years of knowing him and vice versa, both of you learned to adapt to each other's needs. For example if Aizawa came home stressed, you'll know it before he even informs you and makes him everything he needs and more. Also, if you're feeling down he'll know to talk to you about it instead of leaving you to cool down because he'll know you'll bottle it up until you can no longer surpress it. There was even this one time where Aizawa tried to hide his worries from you but you knew him, the real him and you instantly knew that something was wrong. Turns out it was just his nerves from asking you something life changing.

"Shouta." You called him, placing your fingers under his chin making him look at you. "You know that I will never do that right? Tensei meant go out as friends. Besides I know what was behind his flirting all this time." Aizawa's piercing gaze softened upon seeing your face. You wrapped your arms around his midsection making him sigh and returning the gesture.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just got... possesive." You giggled at his statement. Although it resulted in an argument seeing him jealous gave off a sexy vibe from him which you incredibly loved—you'll never admit it openly but knowing Aizawa he probably knows by now.

"I'm sorry for being angry." His voice was soft as he uttered the words that made you smile. This was the side that you only get to see, warming your heart as you hugged him tighter. You were glad to see this side of Aizawa, you were glad to see that he trusts enough to put down his walls and let you through, you were glad—heck beyond glad even.

The next moments were a bit blur to you as it started with just a simple kiss filled with passion from you and Aizawa but when his kisses became a little heated that's when things really started. He bit your lip making you gasp earning him an entrance to your mouth as your tongues fought for dominance, Aizawa clearly being the winner.

Back to present time, Aizawa pinned you against the wall, his hands on your waist as he began attacking your neck with kisses making you ran a hand through his hair, your fingers threading through his raven locks.

Was this real? You didn't know. You were sure you were dreaming right now or perhaps in heaven. But nope, this was the reality. The reality you love. The reality that Aizawa Shouta, 1-A's homeroom teacher, underground hero, pro-hero Eraserhead was your husband.

Yup, this shaggy hobo looking man was your husband. No one really knew except for your families and Toshinori who happened to stumble upon the two of you just like this except that the two of you were in the hospital that time.

Aizawa bit the sensitive spot on your neck, the both of you still not noticing the presence of the duo that kept bugging you and Aizawa to just confess and get together. Too ingrossed in your activities, you didn't even hear their footsteps.

"Oh my god!" Hizashi screeched making the two of you break apart as you stared at Hizashi and Kayama with wide eyes. Holy shit, you were found out now and they found out while the two of you were making out. Fucking making out. Why now out of all the days you were making out with Shouta?

"What do you guys want? Can't you see i'm busy with my wife?" Aizawa nonchalantly stated as his face showed irritation. He wasn't irritated at the fact that Hizashi and Kayama finally knew, he was irritated at the fact that Hizashi and Kayama disturbed the two of them while they were in the middle of something good.

You on the other hand was shocked at what Aizawa just informed the two loud mouths and blushed upon seeing the two of them stared at you with those fucking knowing looks. Oh boy, there was no way of escape now.

After 5 years he decided to tell them like it was not a big deal at all but you knew Aizawa cared, he always did. He just want the two of them to shut up but that wasn't the case. Upon hearing what Aizawa said, the two of them squealed.

"Wife?! Did Shouta just say wife?!" Hizashi was practically crying now, telling the world how proud he was of his best friend. "When did the wedding happen?! Why were we not invited?!"

"It happed five years ago Hizashi, and Shouta and I just wanted a small wedding with close family only. I hope you understand." You sheepishly smiled at the two of them.

"I guess we'll leave you two now." Kayama said with a wink as she dragged Hizashi out of the office. "Use protection, kids!"

Just seconds after the door closed, Aizawa who was still pressing you on the wall asked with a smirk, "I don't think we even need protection. Now where were we?"

Oh boy, let's just say that neither of you did your work the whole night and just did each other instead.

"Y/n! Are you ok? You should go to Recovery Girl! Your neck is full of bruises!" Hizashi 'innocently' screamed out in the teacher's lounge earning the attention of all the pro-hero teachers currently in said lounge.

Your face grew red as they stared at you. Of  course Hizashi had to notice the marks Aizawa left as a 'remembrance' of the night before and of course he just had to scream it out loud in a room filled with people. You were glad though that he hadn't proclaimed it infront of the students because that will be even more embarrassing—atleast for you.

You secretly flipped the bird to Aizawa who just chuckled then wrapped his capture weapon around his neck even more, hiding the endless amount of love bites placed there.

"Oh! Shouta! You have them too! Are you both ok?! Do you have allergies or something?!" Hizashi yelled out. With a smirk you looked over to Aizawa once again as he grunted and swatted Hizashi away but it was too late now. The whole faculty knows by now as their gazes were placed on you then to Aizawa and vice versa.

Needless to say, the next day was full of teasing and belated congratulations from the two and the staff—with the two of them word spreads quickly—which they had to endure.

When 1-A found out

"As heroes, your goal is to not only fight off villains but to rescue and protect the civillians as well. You should remember that. Especially you Bakugo." The boy scoffed at his teacher's words as he looked away which Aizawa knew was a sign that Bakugo acknowledged his words. "Today we are—" a knock cut Aizawa's sentence making him sigh. Who could it possibly be?

Aizawa walked to the door slowly as his students anticipated who could the visitor be. Could it be a pro-hero? Yes, that could be it but their teacher didn't mention any training with another pro-hero today. So, who was it?

Aizawa opened the door slightly and was face to face with his lovely wife standing there with a huge smile on her face. Aizawa made a mental note that he should wear sunglasses everytime his wife beams at him with that big smile, it was too bright for him seeing as you were the literal sunshine but Aizawa didn't protest though, seeing that smile of yours instantly refreshed him and gave him energy. But why the hell were you here? Lunch isn't near and he was sure as hell that you took a sick leave due to you feeling ill for the past few days. So what brought you here exactly?

"Hi Shouta!!!" You greeted him loudly earning the attention of the students. You didn't mean to say that so loud but excitement was kicking in and you felt very happy at that time, incredibly happy even. You felt that you could solve the crisis involving world peace just with your happiness and that was an understatement.

"Miss L/n?!" The students panicked, you were here? They sweated nervously as they were reminded about the homework they had to do. In truth they hadn't done it yet because they were incredibly busy so seeing you outside their classroom made their hearts race. "But what are you doing here Ms. L/n? I thought you were sick!"

You sighed clearly knowing what the fuss was about. "Mina, I am sick but I need to excuse your teacher for some important matters and it's ok if you hadn't done your homework yet but make sure to submit it on or before friday next week." The students let relieved noises as soon as they heard the last statement but Aizawa was more focused on the 'I need to excuse your teacher for some important matters' part. Was there somethimg wrong?

"All right. Iida, control your classmates. I'll be going outside for a moment." And with that Aizawa closed the door behind him before dragging you as far as possible from the eavesdropping students. Your statement made him worried as millions of logical probabilities rushed through his head, one probabilty standing out than the most.

Were you gonna ask for a divorce? Aizawa hoped that, that wan't the case.

"You're not gonna ask for divorce, are you?" Aizawa hesitantly voiced his thoughts, earning a blank look from you. What made Aizawa think that?

"Shouta." You called while placing the palm of your hand on his cheek, him leaning into your touch almost instantly. "What made you think that I'm gonna ask you for divorce?"

Shouta opened his mouth to tell you all the logic behind his question but was immediately cut off by you, "Don't ever doubt yourself or us, Shouta. I love you as you love me so that will not be happening." Aizawa felt relieved but the bugging feeling didn't go away as the question in his mind remained unanswered. Why were you here then?

"I'm here because of good news not bad news." You stated, your smile returning to your face. Aizawa could tell that this smile was brighter and bigger than the last one so it gave him the fact that you were incredibly happy at the moment because of said news. "Well atleast it's good news for me."

"What is it?" You could feel your excitement coming out an in instant once he asked you the question you've been waiting for him to say. You happily dug through your mess of a bag to reveal a stick to him with a plus sign on the center.

A stick with a plus sign.

A plus sign.

Aizawa's eyes widened as he stared lovingly at the stick you were holding. You waited for his reaction and once you got it you were very much satisfied with the result.

Aizawa placed his large hands on your belly, the stick still on his left hand but he didn't care. Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw his smile mirrored yours—bright, big and clearly expressing how happy he felt at the moment.

"I'm going to be a father." He murmured on your shoulders as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. You nodded through your tears as Aizawa's grip on you tightened a little—not to the point he's trying to kill you though—clearly not wanting to let go of you. This news made his heart long and beat for you even more.

"I love you." He said with not his usual monotone but a softer voice filled with emotion that he clearly felt for you. "I love that you make me the happiest man on the universe, every fucking day." His confession made you cry even harder, wetting his black hero costume even more but you both didn't care at the moment. You were gonna be a family now. A family. A family that you both wanted. A family that you both will cherish and love until the day death do you apart. A family to care for, look out for. A family that will grow, stay and learn with the both of you.

Oh how excited the both of you are.

"I love you too, Aizawa Shouta." You replied before adding, "I love you so fucking much that my heart hurts with happiness everytime I see or think of you."

Class 1-A didn't mean to eavesdrop once again but they couldn't help but let curiousity kill the cat. They saw the heart fluttering and precious moment between their usually stoic, emotionless teacher and his wife that made them burst out in tears. They were sure their teacher knew they were there but they still kept their cries silent so that it wouldn't interrupt the moment.

That still didn't stop Mina from exclaiming this though.

"Aizawa-sensei and Ms. L/n are married?!" The exclamation earned the attention of the couple as they broke apart, seeing 1-A infront of them with tears on their eyes. "Then all our planning was useless?!" And with that Mina cried harder making you chuckle, not all their plans went to waste though if you could say so yourself.

"Go back to class." Aizawa ordered them with a glare making them shuffle and leave the scene immediately after shouting out a, "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Aizawa!!"

"They truly are an exceptional bunch huh?" You leaned into Aizawa as he placed an arm around your shoulders. "They are a pain in the ass but they are my pain in the ass."

"Aw! Seeing you act like that for your 20 other kids makes me even more excited that you're gonna have another one." You snickered. "If you're their dad then I'm the mom right?"

"Don't." Aizawa grunted making you laugh.

"What?! It's true though!" Seeing Aizawa's expression made you laugh even more. "Oh don't give me that look Dadzawa."

"Don't call me that."

"Dadzawa!" You stated his new nickname making him sigh.

"You're lucky I put up with you."

"Aren't you supposed to say, 'You're lucky I love you'?" Aizawa shook his head then left you there in the hallway after replying with a, "No. See you at home, Y/n."

Extra:

"Congratulations Dadzawa!" Hizashi and Nemuri exclaimed at the same time once again earning the attention of the whole faculty on them.

"Don't fucking call me that, Yamada."

"Oh please, keep calling him that from now on. I'm sure babyzawa will like that." You chuckled as you kissed Aizawa's cheek before leaving the faculty room. "Goodluck dealing with them Dadzawa!"

Aizawa's eye twitched as he felt the attack coming from Hizashi and Nemuri. Oh boy it's gonna be a long long day today.

[system-of-a-feather]

Because someone has to do it. Bloodborne

I think I know who sent this. If this is not who I think it is, count me shocked.

Bloodborne is a 10/10/10/1 game. It's music soundtrack is one of my absolute favorite things to listen to - actually listening to it right now "Bloodborne OST (Tone Variation) - Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Theme" ironically. It is an aesthetic MASTERPIECE and art form with great lore and concept to it. Honestly I like the theme / general exploration of the theme "ignorance is bliss" as well quite a bit. It's game play and combat mechanics is just 10/10 beautiful.

I'm a fictive from a video game, but Bloodborne - if I had to pinpoint a favorite game - would probably be the answer I'd give as my favorite game.

That being said, if you wanted a more elaborate answer / description of my opinion of Bloodborne is that it is a better art form than it is a game and if I were to solely judge it as a GAME and what I value as a game, it might actually have some competitors. But as an ART Form GOD is it breath taking.

The musical orchestration and thematic exploration as well as the overall art and aesthetic and atmosphere is something I can go on and on and on about. Top that off with eldritch horrors and monster / creature design and clothing and gothic shit and it is just 10/10 like amazing.

As a game it can be a bit.... for a lack of better terms at the moment "high brow and pretentious" for a general audience and for leisure playing because 1) its soulsborne, its a hard game but a really fucking good and fair one and 2) the plot and how to get the endings is not clearly handed to you and between those two its not the most easily digestible game - especially if you are going into it casually, so I do have to "deduct" some points in the game category for that but like.... if you like yourself a good challenge and like all the hidden lore and piecing everything together then it is an AMAZING game.

However, if you are unsure about soulsborne games or Bloodborne, I very much do recommend Code Vein as it has a much more overt story line and is decently easier and can give you a good vibe for soulsborne games without thrusting you into it too far out.

As for favorite characters it would probably be Lady Maria or Vicar Amelia. I love those two Girl Bosses. 10/10 Love them. Design wise is really hard. I love Rom he's a precious baby. The Moon Presence is so fucking cool. Our little thinks the Darkbeast Paarl is the cutest thing in the world and a "little puppy". And Lady Maria and Vicar Amelia are just beautiful.

But I think the one that stands out the most to me on a pure visual manner would be Laurence. Like.... I can't get the image of a burning Cleric Beast laying on a giant throne or whatever out of my head as a REALLY badass look.

Also like... confession, I have been wearing bloodborne clothes for a few year in the brain space. At first I didn't mean to wear them but rapidly found I REALLY liked it and now I look like a Bloodborne OC despite being an introject from KH and XIV does not ever let me live it down.

-Riku (Host)