#it's by no means perfect but i'm proud regardless

[icanseethefuture333]

Glamour Witch 🕯

A guide to confidence, beauty, & self love 🪞🩰🦢🍒💌

How I made glamour magick efficient for me and why working with the goddess Aphrodite shifted my self concept + help me connect to the divine feminine 🕊

First let's do a back story on my relationship with my matron 🌸:

My spiritual awakening happened when I was 17 years old after experiencing the loss of a loved one and coping with past trauma. I went into my adolescence with fear, agony, and poor self esteem. I was very much so a tomboy as a teenager (to this day I still have masculine qualities that I am now proud of and balanced it with my feminine side) but I was so out of touch with what being a "girl" was. I felt really self conscious about not being "woman" enough and had a complicated view on my gender (since I realized I was nonbinary at 14). I became interested in the occult since I grew up in a spiritual household (crystals, manifestation, etc) but never really got to engage with things like tarot or witchcraft because it was considered taboo. I had a reading done one day and I was told that Aphrodite wanted to work with me as my deity. My teenage self was confused by this because I thought - "The goddess of beauty and love wanted to work with me? Well that can't be right." I was expecting something more dark or cool like Hades or Hermes or whatever because that was just my personal style since I dressed very alternatively. I was nervous, but also intrigued. As I begun to pray to her and started doing spellwork - I felt safe, I felt loved, it was like a mother watching over me. I started learning how to do makeup for my ethnic features and became more educated about fashion and what it means to really be a true feminist. I learned to say fuck the binary system and made my own definition of not what just being a "woman" is but also what being "feminine" meant to me, period. You can be whatever you want to be and be beautiful regardless of what your appearance is like. Some days I want to wear snapbacks and sneakers, other times I wanna wear high heels with a flattering dress. I do what makes me feel comfortable and that's nobody's business but mine. Society made us believe that being sensitive, caring, or intuitive - the traits of the divine feminine (which we have in us all) as bad when it's not. There's strength in being soft and delicate. Be gentle towards yourself, my loves.

Embrace your shadow self to manifest your dream life ✨️:

You know what people will never tell you or admit to you on social media? Is that you can be self conscious and still be confident at the same time. Confidence is just being comfortable with yourself and knowing despite what you've been through or are feeling in the moment, it should not hold you back from achieving your fullest potential. Like Megan Thee Stallion said "Bad bitches have bad days too" And it's true! I have my good days and then I have my bad days, but even when I'm doubting or losing my faith, I always get back up by keep going. Why? It's because if I stop then I'm not living. I'm not being grateful for the life I still have while there are people out there battling severe illnesses and don't have much time left. Nobody wants to be candid and only want to portray themselves as perfect, when nobody is. It's a damaging narrative to think you have to be popping on social media and always staying positive. I don't know why being vulnerable is such a stigma these days. Everyone is scared of being hurt, sure, but there is so much power in knowing what you makes you happy and being able to voice what your wants/needs are. You get to live for yourself and not what others want you to be. Not to mention the importance of having the power and ability to set the boundaries your inner child probably never got to have?! I'm so tired of people spreading the belief of that you shouldn't talk about mental health, trauma, or personal fears because it makes you seem "weak" or "easy prey". That is the same tactics abusers use to make their victims stay hushed and makes them not able to stand up for themselves. That way of thinking is victim blaming! If you as a person, feel brave enough to discuss what the fuck is going on in your mind that does not make you a weakling, that makes you strong as hell. They are the weak ones for taking advantage of people who were already suffering. It's time to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and acknowledge what happened, but do not let it control you. You don't have to let go or get over it, it's okay if it's still a wound for you but you can choose to make it better by creating a better future by working with your higher self. Think about who you want to be, how you want to appear, what career you aspire to have, etc. Either write it down, visualize, or make a vision board. Release the old version of you and thank them for helping you survive.

I have been reading the book Mirror Work by Louise Hay and it entails about how the negative things people said or the difficult experiences we had dealt with in our lifetime gets stored in our subconscious mind. When we make jokes that are self depreciating or engage in self degrading behavior, it harms us even more, preventing us from maturing or loving ourselves. Doing shadow work is uncomfortable for everyone but it is a must to process the patterns in your life and learn as to why you become the person you are today. Being aware of your triggers and what makes you tick. Can make you more emotionally intelligent and be able to have a healthier conversation as well as creating lasting positive connections.

Books I recommend for subconscious reprogramming, shadow work, & healing from trauma:

Mirror Work by Louise Hay

"The Courage to" book series by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

The Self Confidence Workbook by Barbara Markway & Celia Ampel

Psychology of The Unconscious by Dr. Carl Jung

It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn

You can also find shadow work prompts on pinterest.

Don't just say it, do it! 11 ways to actually practice self care:

Making a goal and actually putting the effort in can be tough for some individuals, especially for those diagnosed with depression. That's why it's important to be patient with yourself and understand that healing is a journey, not a race! A youtuber I have been enjoying and watching lately is the critically acclaimed, thewizardliz: An Iranian woman who gives advice on confidence, discipline, and more! A video that I watched of hers recently was called and bluntly titled: "How to stop being lazy & pathetic". In most of liz's videos she is someone who is tough but is also tender. She explains that when we are procrastinating it's because we are thinking of just the end goal, which scares us and makes us overthink about what to do or how to do it. When really, we can just take small, simple steps at a time to reach towards what we wish to accomplish, so that way it will feel less intimidating. If you have a essay that's due for example, try to write a few sentences each day, or think about how good it would feel if you were to get a good grade on your paper. Think of it this way - Would you rather slack and be upset you failed? Or would you rather prevent that from happening so you can be proud of what you achieved? Figure out what motivates you as a person and write it down so you can always be reminded of the confident being you wish to become.

Journaling: This is such a crucial hobby that I believe everyone should have. Writing down your thoughts or feelings helps not only increases your intelligence and brain health, but it also helps navigate your feelings better when you are facing a problem. You are able to reflect inward and discover the different parts of your psyche that you never knew you had.

Art: Divine feminine energy embodies the source of creation and life. The same way people with wombs give birth to children, an artist's project can be their beautiful baby. Find what type of art form brings you peace and allows you to express yourself (poetry, songwriting, dancing, painting, woodcarving, etc).

Exercise: I know this is something that some people struggle with (me included 💀) and when people hear that it's like "Ugh, I don't wanna work out! It's too hard!" but just hear me out okay? We have to exercise so our internal organs can stay healthy. When we don't take care of ourselves by not at least taking 15 minutes out of our day by walking, exercising, or cardio, when there is 24 hours in a day... That is a major neglect to yourself. Just remember that it is a privilege that you still have the ability to move, jump, lift, run, squat, and even more. When there are people who suffer from chronic pain and disabilities that are still making sure to take care of their physical health because they have no other choice. When you think about how you're too "lazy" and you can't do it because of your "laziness", think of those people! Cherish the health that you have before it's too late. You can start by stretching, going for walks, or watching workout videos for beginners on YouTube.

Build a schedule: Having a routine is so important because it helps reduce stress and organizes the task that we have to do throughout our day. Make a sleep schedule for yourself as well. Going to bed late until 3 am in the morning or waking up too early is unsafe and makes you less alert when you are out in the world. So please be careful! Try to at least get 6 hours of sleep a day. Drinking tea, taking a warm bath, or using essential oils can help you fall asleep if you don't like using melatonin.

Cleanliness & Hygiene: It's unfortunate that I have to say this but some people were not taught by their parents on how to be clean. Or how cishet men feel that being hygienic is "gay". That's absurd! Everyone should have a clean house, clean body, and a good hygiene routine. There is no excuse for that. Even when I was depressed I still would get up to brush my teeth or wash my hair because I knew that if I were to ever go too long without taking care of my hygiene I'd have to deal with damaging my teeth, hair, or skin. Everything has a cause and effect when you neglect doing self care and that could also be apart of the reason why you feel so down about your looks is due to that lack of poor hygiene. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant and you don’t need to do a 10 step skincare routine all the time. You can buy beauty products for cheap at off price retail stores and can get combs, toothbrushes, etc, at the dollar store. All you gotta do is wash your face and shower daily (scrub in between your ass cheeks, please and thank you 💀), brush your teeth at least 3 or more times a day, moisturize with lotions, use a sunscreen (cus nobody got time for skin cancer), apply deodorant, and that's literally it. You can use toners, serums, and skin treatments if you feel like it but that’s not neccessary unless you have specific concerns (acne, wrinkles, etc).

Personal finance 💵: As a Capricorn ♑️, there is nothing more important to me than having my own money. Knowing how to budget and being responsible with your funds is so crucial. You can manifest prosperity and be wealthy, but if you don't know what to do with a million dollars, how could you ever receive it? It is so attractive when someone is wise with their money. I took elective classes in high school for commercial art, marketing, and personal finance so that way I could learn to how to be independent as an adult and not have to "hustle" or live the struggle life. Always take care of your household bills (utilities, repairs, gas for the car, etc.) first and then leave a certain amount for yourself for when you want to have fun, go shopping, etc. Learn about how to make an investment, as well as stocks, because that is another way that you can make a lot of money (and no I don't mean Crypto or NFTs 😭)

Education is key 📚: READ HEAUXS REEEEAD 👓 Make those sapiosexuals quiver with your big sexy brain 🧠. I just feel like in general we need to be knowledgeable about our history and *Jaden Smith voice* the political state of the world right now. Being dismissive and ignorant is a major turn off. You have to be able to know how to communicate in certain settings or talk about certain subjects, or else you're gonna just look and sound dumb. I don't care if you like to read about insects or flowers, just find a topic that interests you.

Boundaries: A simple way to start implementing self care into your daily routine is by being able to say "Yes." Or "No." I know for women it is hard to assert themselves and say no especially when there is a grimy ass man tryna flirt with you (ayoooo shawty 🤓), but for your own protection you gotta do it. When people know you are not stern and you are not able to defend yourself, they take advantage of that. It makes you an easy target. Let's say for a example, you have a overbearing parent that constantly drains and takes from your energy. This parent doesn't respect you and makes you feel bad about yourself because you let them. When they ask you for something, you can just say; "Thank you but I will not be doing that. It would be an inconvenience for me right now because I have to focus on ___" or "I would prefer not to do that because I have to do ___ this week and it's very important". Even if it's not anything actually important, still say no. Another example is if you have a friend that's toxic and is not elevating you in any type of way (mentally, emotionally, or finacially). Then tell them that and cut them off. You are not obligated to stay around anyone who brings you down. Here is a list of ways to set boundaries professionally. Also learn to stop over apologizing here is what you can do instead. Margot Robbie learned to say "Thank you" instead of saying "sorry" because of Barbie.

Meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️: A useful skill in embracing your thoughts, whether they are positive or negative, to help in finding your inner zen. Meditation was something that was tricky for me at first. Most people say to "empty your mind and be still" when meditating and for someone with ADHD, I was like... "Umm, this is boring 💀???" but overtime I tried it a few times again and have grown to appreciate it! I learned that meditation was actually quite helpful for me, especially when I felt burdened with too many tasks, or was dealing racing thoughts. It just really helped me calm down, especially when I was feeling overwhelmed (for people who experience sensory overloads I highly recommend!). I no longer feel ashamed or fearful of when a intrusive thought crosses my mind. I just simply let that thought pass through and go on about my day. The average young adult has over 6,000 thoughts a day, so why would I give something so meaningless power? I am in control of myself and what I react to. For this, it will allow you to do the same.

Spend time with a loved one: I'm sure we all have someone who we consider our comfort person or a special pet that makes us feel calm. Humans are animals, sometimes we need that social interaction to stay sane during troubling times. Make a phone call, text, or plan to meet up with a friend or family member this week. Maybe even step out of your comfort zone and ask an acquaintance out for lunch.

Be brave: Remember what I said about stepping out of your comfort zone? That's right. It's time to stop living a life of regrets and live a life of excitement. I want you to think about something you've been really wanting to do lately but haven't pursued it yet because of fear, doubt, or limiting beliefs. Take a deep breath and release it to the universe, your spirit guides, or any deity that you worship. Maybe there is a person you have a crush that you have been wanting to ask out lately or have been wanting to dye your hair a new color but were afraid of how it would turn out. Whatever it is, just have courage to go after what you want for once. For being brave is just about taking a leap of faith, even when you are scared.

How to awaken your inner goddess ✨️:

Loving yourself shouldn't be a chore, it should be a ritual baby 😌! Now for my beginner witches or practioners in closed practices. I know it can be intimidating to start doing deity work. That's why you have to take things slow and go at your own pace. I always recommend starting with doing a cleansing (burning incense, spraying florida water, etc) or a protection spell before doing any other kind of magick. Even though yes, I do worship Aphrodite, it is not neccessary for people to only go to her for a "glow up". There are sooooo many deities who are also gods or goddesses of love, beauty, etc. Naturally, a deity will show you signs that they wish to work with you, so makw sure to be on the look out for that!

Also if you are a woman of color like mwuahhh 😘 then here are a list of deities that also represent love, confidence, beauty, fertility, & creativity in African, Asian, Indigenous, & Pacific Islander religions:

Oshun (closed practice / Yoruba)

Yenaya (closed practice / Yoruba)

Hathor

Bastet

Isis

Astarte

Rati (Hinduism)

Lakshimi (Hinduism)

弁才天 / Benzaiten (Japanese Buddhism)

자청비 / Jacheongbi

仰阿莎 / Yang Asha

Liễu Hạnh

Mayari

Laka

Xochiquetzal

Estsanatlehi

Other deities are:

Apollo, Cupid, Eros, Priapus, Min, Brigid, & Dionyus

There is also ascended masters, saints, archangels, ancestors, & spirit guides that you can connect with. I recommend building a relationship with your ancestors first.

How to talk your deity:

Create an altar for them or a sacred space.

Cleanse the area to avoid interacting with trickster spirits.

Place offerings on the table (make sure to look up what offerings they like!).

Light a candle or burn incense for them.

Write them a letter or pray. You can ask them for help with your specific needs or just talk to them about your day or how you are currently feeling.

BE CONSISTENT! Deities are not one of your little friends, they are gods/goddesses. Show them respect by praying, including them in spellwork, and giving them offerings frequently (they are understanding if you cannot give them food or drinks all the time though if you cannot afford it).

The final boss, The Enchantress 🔮❄️:

"SHADOW MONEY WIZARD GANGGG! We love casting spells 😈"

Alright, alright. I know you guys were reading all this thinking "Bitch where tf is the tutorial??? 😭" BUT WHAT I HAD TO SAY WAS IMPORTANT SO YOU CAN HAVE LONG TERM RESULTS 💀! Here is the moment you've all been waiting forrr 🤭!

101 on Glamour Magick:

The days of the week are connected to the planets.

Friday is a good day for casting love and beauty spells since it's ruler is Venus. While on Monday you can cast spells for healing & enhancing psychic powers, since it's ruler is the Moon. Thursday's ruler is Jupiter so you can cast spells for money and prosperity.

Buy a mirror that is for your special use only (If someone ends up accidently using it it's okay nothing bad will happen to them). Spray it with a window cleaner and wipe it down counter clockwise, say what your intention is for the mirror as you clean it. You can buy any kind of mirror you like (compact mirror, hand held mirror, desktop mirror, etc).

You can use your mirror for scrying or seeing into the future (divination).

When doing your mirror work, look into your eyes, and affirm to yourself. It can be anything you wish to say. Just let it flow naturally. It might feel uncomfortable at first but as you continue to practice it you will feel more confident about it.

Include your deity while affirming. (When I do this, I show appreciation to Aphrodite, and thank her for blessing me with such beauty and grace. Even when in the moment I don't have the results I wish to see, I know it is going to happen because I have faith in her.)

Ask your ancestors what their beauty rituals and regimes were. Doing routines that your ancestors did will create a closer bond with them and also build confidence in your ethnic features.

Items that are represented as love: roses, cinnamon, honey, sugar, vanilla, coriander, basil, chamomile, carnations, tulips, lockets, keys, & hearts

Items that are represented as beauty: cowrie shells, orchids, peony, ribbons, veils, & bows

Items that help enhance intuition: seashells, conch shells, rosemary, lotuses, & feathers

Chinese guashas & jade rollers help reduce stress, tension, and puffiness in your facial muscles. It can also help sculpt your face.

African waistbeads were worn by women under their clothes to help slim their waist and also attract love. Depending on the crystals used, it would also help manifest abundance.

Some beauty crystals used for love, beauty, & intuition are: Rose quartz, jade, pink tourmaline, moonstone, amethyst, selenite, garnet, carnelian, and turquoise.

You can carve sigils or symbols onto your candle, an easy one to use is the venus symbol ♀️.

A list of meanings for the scents of the candle, wax, or deodorizer in your home. Here is the list for incense.

Candles are great to seal your spell jars or use on their own for magick.

A list of different burning sticks you can use (smudging, white sage, and Palo Santo is a closed practice)

The scent of your perfume can be used for seduction or attracting love/popularity.

Soap, shampoo, or conditioner can be used to cleanse your energy.

Ingredients in foods, cleaning, haircare, skincare, or beauty products can have magical properties that you can attract towards you or your home. (I.E: Lavendar for peace & tranquility, Lemon for warding off negative energy, & Vanilla for love)

"The hair theory" trend is a form of glamour magick. Doing your hair differently can create a new persona and change how people perceive you.

Depending on your hair color it can represent the elements.

Your hair texture can symbolize what power you possess: Coily hair grows upward and rises towards the sun. When using their awareness, they are highly observant and courageous. Coily hair has the fire element. Curly hair breaks hexes and spiritually protects the mind. Due to it's volume and resemblance to a cloud, it has the air element. People with wavy hair are intuitive, affectionate, and sensitive, their element is water. Straight hair is the most connected to the earth. People with this hair texture can be introverted, dependable, and grounded.

Your hair length signifies your current state of energy.

Short hair is connected to father sky.

Long hair is connected to mother earth.

It is best to cut your hair when you are in need of releasing stress, anguish, and turmoil.

You can set your intentions into the hair that you braid.

Black people can cornrow patterns or symbols onto their scalp for manifestation.

Locs symbolize freedom and wisdom from the ancestors.

Twists can be used for spiritual binding.

Read here for more on hair witchcraft & hair astrology.

Wearing headscarves, hijabs, bonnets, durags, or hats can protect you from the evil eye or if you're an empath, it can protect your energy from being drained in public spaces.

Do not make any physical changes during a Venus retrograde.

Plastic surgery can alter one's identity. It is like putting on a different mask. It can become an addiction to people who feel lost in life. While for others it can give them a new path to start on.

You can paint sigils or symbols for nail art.

The nail shape you have or get done at a salon can correspond to Onychomancy (https://www.tiktok.com/@taisoleil/video/7035737221068082479?_t=8etXLhtR3LH&_r=1)

You can also use yours or other's eyebrows for divination.

Straight eyebrows: someone who is level headed. Round eyebrows: someone who is compassionate with a kind heart. Arched eyebrows: someone who is independent. Thick eyebrows: someone who can be stubborn and goal oriented. Thin eyebrows: someone who is bold and daring. No eyebrows: someone who is a risk taker and can be careless. The unibrow: symbolizes good luck, fertility, & serendipity.

Your eyelashes are for good luck (which is why people make a wish on fallen lashes, they are similar to dandelions).

Different lash styles can be used as a "barricade".

Manga/spiked lashes: makes you appear pure & innocent, can get away with stuff more. Fluffy lashes: depending on the thickness, it can resemble a spider, therefore can cause someone to have a intensive aura. Cat/hybrid lashes: Increase in clairvoyance, see past the 3D, and have the senses of a feline. Natural lashes: The gaze will be comforting and welcoming to others, they can see into your soul.

Your eye color can mean what powers you have for spells. Colored contacts can create a different outcome.

Glasses can be used for insight and enlightenment. While sunglasses or shades, can make you more mysterious/hide your identity.

For those with periods, cycle syncing can help with increasing productivity.

Depending on your body shape, weight, & features it could symbolize your status in society.

In ancient Greece, people who were voluptuous with plump bellies were seen as healthy & rich. It was a sign of being well fed and treated like royalty.

In Africa & Southeast Asia, long necks signify having dignity & elegance.

Being tall could be seen as powerful, while being short could be seen as delicate. If you are average height, you could be seen as harmonious.

Physiognomy is the method of using the face & body for divination. In China, it is a popular method for readings.

Moles, birthmarks, & skin tags are believed to be the sign of being a Witch.

Vitiligo can mean spiritual purification & finding beauty in your imperfections.

It has been said that freckles are kisses from the angels. These people themselves can be described as earth angels or have a closer connection with archangels.

The form of your freckles can symbolize different things. If they form in a straight line, it could mean you are a focused person. If they are scattered, you like to go with the flow in life. If your freckles come and go during the seasons, you like to experience change or excitement often in your life.

Freckles & beauty marks overall show signs of a person having a unique character.

The clothing you wear can have a mystical effect.

Baggy/layered clothing: spiritually protective. Revealing clothing: free spirited & alluring. Patterned clothing: Makes you illusive or hard to decipher. Animal print clothing: embodies the energy of said animal (I.E: Tiger print would make you appear cunning & fierce). Colorful clothing: your spirit will seem more youthful & vivacious.

The shoes you wear can make you walk into new opportunities unexpectedly.

You can keep a piece of paper that has a spell in your shoes for good luck or attracting your desire.

Buying shoes and watches for your romantic partner is bad luck in hoodoo (Shoes can make someone walk out the door and leave forever. While watches can make someone look at the time they have left with you.)

Earrings can help you hear what others say about you or what gossip is going around. (I heard the most compliments the other day while wearing my gold hoops 💫)

A necklace that has a charm or crystal can be used as a tailsmans, amulet, or pendulum.

Wearing rings on which hand or finger could enhance your abilities.

The same way there is money bowls, you can also make love or beauty bowls, or even use your jewelry box.

You can use color magick when doing your makeup or choosing an outfit.

Primer, lotions/moisturizers, body butters, oils, and gels can be used for sigils.

Foundation is for stability and being secure with yourself.

Concealer "cloaks" or "veils" your weaknesses or insecurities.

Contour makes space and structure for your desire.

Eyeliner can be used as a tool. It wards off negative spirits & people with bad intentions.

In ancient Egypt, the use of Kohl represented rank and achievement.

Mascara can be used to give you a different perspective in things or make you more open minded.

Eyeshadow enhances your eyes & brings more depth or dimension. Makes your gaze hypnotic & enticing like a siren's.

Highlighter shines your best qualities.

Bronzer makes your presence more warm & friendly

Blush is for playfulness, youthfulness, flirtation, and vitality.

The lip product you use can speak your desires into fruition. It also make your words sound more beautiful. People will want to listen more because they will feel attracted to your voice.

Lip gloss: makes your intentions "stick" to you. Lipstick: Leaves a "mark" on your target (especially if it's someone you fancy 💋). Lip stain: makes your words have a permanent effect on people, they won't forget you. Flavored lip balms: makes your kisses addicting.

Powder enhances your spell & adds a touch of good luck.

Setting spray finishes the spell.

528 Hz is the frequency of love.

Listening to frequencies, music, & subliminals can attract your desires.

You can make a playlist for your deity or ancestors to channel messages from them.

Here are some celebrities who used mirror work or glamour magick to manifest:

Beyoncé's Renaissance album has themes of having a good self concept, knowing your worth, manifesting self love & abundance.

Marilyn Monroe used visualization & affirmations to manifest her beauty and fame: “I daydreamed chiefly about beauty. I dreamed of myself becoming so beautiful that people would turn to look at me when I passed.”

Michael Jackson would keep sticky notes and a diary full of affirmations in his room by his mirror: “I'm beautiful (4x). I'm gorgeous. [Bad..?] Is for me, who can be against me? I'm beautiful. I'm a new person now. Beautiful, knowing the secret, and determined with fire[?] to move mountains in all I do. Molding my own world. I'm beautiful. The old me is behind. I will much ahead anew. - MJ”

Alexa Demie stated in a interview with Vogue that she would say affirmations in the mirror daily in the morning and it helped her manifest clear skin: “I have beautiful, clear, acne-free, scar-free skin.”

Princess Nokia is a bruja and is well known for her constant change in appearance: “Casting spells with my cousins / I'm the head of this coven / I'm a shapeshifting bitch, you don't know who you loving.”

Thanks so much for reading, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey 🤍🤍🤍

[librarycards]

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[wholesome-holland]

Cassie x male reader

She is really attached to him and is by his side 24/7 and she thinks he is getting tired of her and being clingy so he reassures her and it’s just fluff

Clingy

request for: anon!

paring: cassie howard x male!reader

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, overthinking, negative self talk

     Cassie Howard was a lover girl. She loved love, she loved being loved and she loved loving others. She had been in a few relationships here and there, and she fell hard for every guy she was with. Many of those guys had just been with her for the sexual benefits that came with being in a relationship, some of them because they really liked her. Regardless of the reason, every one of those relationships ended the same way; her being broken up with.

"I'm not looking for anything serious."

"I'm not into you like that."

"I'm interested in someone else one."

"I just want to work on myself."

She'd heard every reason in the book, and they all hurt. Breakups always were painful, but having a bullshit excuse come with it made it even worse. Out of all of the excuses she'd heard, there was one that stood out the most. One that hurt more than all the rest, one that was more common for her to hear.

"You're just too clingy, it's too much."

She would rather hear anything but that. The word clingy cut her deep, it was a continuous wound that never healed regardless of who she was with. She couldn't help it, she wanted the person she was with to know she loved them and she wanted to feel that love was reciprocated. She often seeked out reassurance, none of them ever gave it. Her love ran so deep, all she wanted was that same type of love in return. Granted, she had also never been in a healthy relationship, until she met Y/n Y/l/n.

Cassie met him during her senior year a little while after her split from Chris McKay. She knew of Y/n, even if she didn't know him personally. He was a hockey player at East Highland, one of their best players. He was a senior just like her, and was relatively popular. The party— that was being hosted by someone whose name she couldn't remember— was being held at a large house with hundreds of people from their school. She and her sister Lexi arrived with their group of friends after spending hours getting ready together. She hadn't been single for this long until a while, but for once, she didn't mind. She was okay, she felt alright. She enjoyed spending the time getting ready and looking pretty for herself and not for someone else, it felt so good. Even knowing she would possibly run into McKay at the party didn't bother her or make her feel pressured to look perfect. She wanted to look perfect for herself. She was proud of herself for that.

     It had been a while since her and her friends went to a party together, they were making the most out of it and living it up. Maddy and Nate just so happened to also be split up, so they weren't spending the evening clinging to their man's arms. They were dancing with their girls, laughing, and having fun.

     At some point during the night, Cassie decided she wanted a drink, as anyone attending a party would. There was a bar area she had been told was set up in the middle of house, and as she made her way to said bar area, some people who were mindlessly dancing bumped into her rather aggressively. Which then sent her flying into another person, sending them to the floor. That person just so happened to Y/n Y/l/n.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Are you okay? I'm so sorry," she frantically told him, helping him up from the ground.

"No worries, I'm okay," Y/n said, rubbing the back of his head as he accepted her help up.

"I feel horrible. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to knock you over. I was trying to get through and there were people dancing and—"

"Hey, seriously, it's alright. No need to apologize," He gave her a small smile, "I'm used to it from Hockey." He joked.

Of course, that didn't stop her from feeling bad for knocking into him. Every time she tried to apologize, he was wave her off, assuring her that it truly was alright and it was no big deal. She offered to make him a drink as a final apology, claiming she knew a special recipe she could make with the liquor that was present. He took that opportunity to make an agreement; if he accepted the drink, she would stop apologizing.

      "Okay, fine. I can agree to that," Cassie chuckled, grabbing two cups and a couple of the bottles. Before she could start pouring, Y/n put a hand on her arm.

     "We have to pinky swear," He grinned, holding his pinky out to her. She playfully rolled her eyes before locking her pinky with his, squeezing it slightly.

     "Pinky swear." That lead to the two spending the whole night talking to one another, getting to know each other. He was such a gentleman and so kind right off the bat in a way none of the other guy's at their school were. He was also strikingly handsome, which was just an added bonus. They spent quite a lot of the night chit chatting, not realizing how long it had been until Maddy came looking for Cassie.

"There you are, come dance with me!" Maddy exclaimed, taking Cassie's hand and trying to drag her away.

"Hold on, one sec Maddy," The blonde said, motioning to the boy next to her. Maddy made an o"o" shape with her mouth before smirking at her, giving her a thumbs up and walking away.

Y/n chuckled the interaction, "Well, I better let you get back to your friends. I've kept you held up long enough," he stated.

"Yeah, I guess. It was really nice talking to you, Y/n. We'll have to talk more soon," Cassie responded, a large grin on her face.

"Yes, definitely," Y/n said before quickly grabbing his phone from his back pocket. "Would you... maybe want to give me your number? So we can keep talking more? Only if you want to, only if you're comfortable with that." His cheek flushed a light shade of pink as he waited for her response.

"Of course, I'd love that." They exchanged phone numbers before bidding their goodbyes, both smiling equally as wide.

That was just the start of their story. They quickly began texting all the time, every day. They would meet up every now and then at school, hang out after school, and before long Cassie began to develop feelings for the boy. This time, it was different. Y/n was unlike any other boy she had ever met; He was funny, kind, respectful, and cared about more than just her pretty face or body. He cared about all the little things, just as much as the big things. He knew all her favorite things, all her little habits and ticks, and he knew how to make her smile.

About two months later, Y/n decided he was going to ask the girl he had fallen so hard for to be his girlfriend. It started with him asking her in a date, to which she said yes. He had arranged a surprise dinner at her favorite restaurant and got her a big, beautiful bouquet of her favorite flowers. After dinner, he took her to his house where he decorated the finished basement with lights, flower petals, and candles. He set up a cozy movie station for them to watch her favorite movies.

During the movie, they went from sitting next to each other to Cassie snuggling into his chest. As the credits rolled, he shifted upwards causing her to look up.

"Y/n? You okay?" Cassie asked, her eyebrows furrowing together.

He took a deep breath in, preparing himself in his head. "Cass?" He said.

"Yes?"

"I need to ask you something," he kept his sentences short in order to not word vomit due to his intense nerves. Cassie sat up straight, looking him in the face as she felt her heart start to beat faster. Could this be it? Is he gonna ask what I think? She thought to herself.

"So, I'm sure you can probably tell based on me asking you on a date, but I really, really like you," he began, feeling himself blush.

"I really like you too, Y/n." She beamed, unable to hide the pure joy on her face.

"Yeah?" He asked, grinning like he'd just won an award. The girl nodded, and he inched his hand towards hers. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I would love to be your girlfriend, Y/n."

Just like that, they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Y/n swore he'd never been happier in his whole life, and he made it his mission to show her every single day. He brought her flowers on a daily basis, took her on all kinds of dates every week, made sure she knew how beautiful she was every day, and made sure make his devotion known.

In every relationship she had been in at this point, she had been spoiled, but not to this extent. Nobody had ever shown her this kind of affection, let alone kept it consistent no matter how much time passed. She had never felt so loved, and it made her fall in love with him even harder than she already was. She couldn't believe how lucky she had been to find him.

     Months passed, the two were more attached at the hip than ever. At school, Y/n walked Cassie to all her classes, sat with her at lunch, and drove her to and from school. After school, she would attend all his practices and games for both sports depending on the season. He would go to all her ice skating practices, and anything she found important. They spent all their free time together, it was hard to get one away from the other. Y/n's friends made fun of him, but he always shut them down and made sure they knew not to make any comments that were anything but nice about his girl. He didn't care what they had to say, all he cared about was Cassie. He pushed her to make time for her friends as well as him, but he didn't mind not hanging out with his friends that often. None of them were as close as Cassie was to her friends.

Eventually, they met each other's parents and families. Casie invited him over for dinner and it was safe to say Suze absolutely adored Y/n. She made sure to point out the drastic change she'd seen in her daughter since he came along, she hadn't seen her that happy in a long time. Not even with McKay. When meeting Y/n's family, Cassie was invited to their annual bowling night. It was the family's thing, it was very rare for them to invite newcomers. But, Cassie was different. They gladly made the exception, and ended up all loving the girl just as much as Suze loved Y/n.

Their relationship was relatively flawless, though they definitely had their struggles every now and then. Cassie had never been in a relationship that was healthy, and had plenty of work to do to make this relationship stay that way. She had insecurities and fears she needed to stay mindful of, and Y/n was there to help her every step of the way. He reassured her, comforted her, and was very patient and supportive of her. For the most part, she learned to feel secure.

One thing Cassie hadn't learned to handle though, was her clinginess. Sometimes, she wouldn't even catch herself being clingy. Other times, her ex's voices rang in her mind telling her she was "too clingy" and "too much" nonstop. When that happened, she would begin to pull away a little bit in fear he would think the same thing as the other's did. Y/n only ever noticed a difference when she would pull away from him, which left him confused. He would try to pry and talk to her about it, and every time she would just brush it off like it was nothing. He could clearly tell it was something, but she wouldn't budge.

That was until she began acting that way in the middle of date night. It was their date night in for the month, where they typically would cook together and watch whatever show they were currently binging together. One date a month they would do this, the rest of their dates they went out and about. Cassie was usually rather cuddly and touchy with her boyfriend, she never found herself overthinking during their dates. This particular day was a Friday, and at school she heard other cheerleaders talking very loudly about her boyfriend in the locker rooms after practice.

"I can't believe Cassie and Y/n are still together," one girl said. Cassie, who was in a bathroom stall, tried her hardest to ignore them. At first, she brushed it off, until they kept going and would not shut the fuck up.

"I know right! How is he not sick of her?"

"She literally throws herself at him 24/7, it's insane."

"She is so fucking desperate, he must get so tired of it. I swear I saw him move away from her when she tried to hug him today."

"It's about time, maybe he's realizing he can someone less pathetic."

The blonde couldn't get their words out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. If other people thought that way, surely he did too, right? People she barely even talked to could sense how clingy she was, and apparently how annoyed he appeared. That right there was enough to send her into an overthinking episode, one much worse than she'd had in a while. As Y/n dished up their places, she was leaned against the counter, staring off into space as she thought it all over. She was pulled from her thoughts when her boyfriend wrapped an arm around her, telling her the food was ready. She quickly shied away from him, bidding him a thank you as she took her plate and headed towards the stairs.

"Hey, babe?" Y/n called out, his tone laced with concern. She turned around to look at him as he grabbed his own plate and began walking towards her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she whispered, staring at the ground and going down the stairs. The boy furrowed his eyebrows, following close behind her. They sat on the couch together with their plates in their laps, Y/n taking a seat close to his girlfriend. She scooted over the slightest bit, but wanting to appear like she was all over him. Many red flags were going off in Y/n's head, she wasn't being her usual, lovey, talkative self. Something was definitely wrong. The boy kept making advances in attempt to be close to her, just to be rejected each and every time.

After a half hour of them going back and forth, him silently trying to fix the problem, he decided to speak up. "Baby?"

"Hm?"

"What's going on with you today?" He finally asked, staring at her with a look of concern. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze as she tried not to make eye contact.

     "Nothings going on," she lied, looking everywhere but at him.

     "Yes there is," he stated. "I know you like the back of my hand and you've been acting super off since after practice. Talk to me, love."

     "I don't know what you're talking about," Y/n knew what she was doing; she was bullshitting him to avoid talking about the problem. If it was over something small, he would wait until she was ready to talk about it. This was different, and he wanted— no, needed to know what was wrong so he could fix it.

     "You've been really quiet, which isn't like you. You haven't really let me touch you, and you haven't been touchy with me either—"

     "What's so bad about that?" she cut him off, her voice just barely above a whisper.

      "What? What do you mean?" Y/n asked, feeling even more confused and concerned.

      "I mean I'm too clingy, anyways. And I'm too much, what's so bad about me not acting like that?" As she spoke, her eyes filled with tears. The moment Y/n noticed, he was taking her face in his hands and moving her head to face him. She still avoided his gaze as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

     "Baby, look at me," she shook her head no, but that didn't stop him. "Cassie, please. I need you to look at me,"

     After what felt like forever, she finally met his gaze and he swore he felt himself melt in her eyes.

“Cassie, you are not too clingy or too much.“ he told her firmly.

“But, I’m all over you all the time. It’s pathetic,” the girl scoffed as her boyfriend wiped her tears with his thumbs.

“Why would you say that, love? You’re not pathetic,” he whispered with a sad frown.

“Because it’s true, and you know it too.” She moved backwards away from his grasp before wiping at her own face with her hand.

“What?! No! I don’t think you’re pathetic baby, not at all. I would never, ever think that of you.”

“Maybe not now, but you will! They always do! I’m— I’m always too much, or I’m too clingy or desperate and everyone thinks so! Everyone always gets sick of me, just like you will because they’re all right!” Cassie cried out, letting her head fall into her hands as soft sobs escaped her lips. Y/n couldn’t believe his ears, it broke his heart right in half to hear that his girl thought so low of herself— and even more so that she thought he believed it, too.

“Woah, woah, woah. Who said that?” He was quickly moving to wrap his arms around her shoulders, being weakly shoved off. He didn’t let that stop him, and he pulled her into his chest and held her tightly as she cried. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, rocking her back and forth. They sat like that for who knows how long before Cassie calmed down, feeling embarassed about her outburst.

“Are you ready to talk, baby?” Y/n asked as he reached for a nearby box of tissues. Cassie nodded before blowing her nose. After that, she told him everything from all of the things her exes had said to her to what she overheard the girls saying in the locker room. He felt his heart shatter even more, all he wanted was to scoop her in his arms and love her forever. “My love, I need you to know they are all wrong. So wrong! I could never get sick of you, and I will never get sick of you or annoyed with you. Sure, maybe you can be clingy, but I love it. I love your clingy, because I am just as clingy to you if not more. I love how attached and touchy you are with me, I love all of it… I love you, Cassie.”

Cassie’s head perked up, fearing she misheard him. “You what?”

“I love you, Cassie. I am so in love with you,” he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek. “You don’t have to say it back if you’re not ready, but I just wanted you to know.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” She grinned, cutting him off.

Y/n chuckled as his own smile grew. He pulled her in and gave her a soft, passionate kiss. He knew he wasn’t going to just skip over what she was worried about, and was going to continue to reassure her, but right now he was so ecstatic to know that she loved him just like he loved her.

okay this turned out WAAAYYYY longer than this was meant to, and didn’t necessarily follow canon… but i’m not mad at it!! i hope you all liked it, and i hope the anon who requested it loves it!! i’m so glad to be getting back into writing. i have so much more planned to come out and i hope you’re all as excited as i am!!

[saguette]

What do you think Johnny's art looked like before he was stripped of his powers? This is something that bugs me a lot, and I'm curious about what you think.

ok i needed to draw a few shitty pictures to demonstrate cuz i wanted to talk about more than just his previous art but his art journey in general IDC if there's some canon tweet that proves something i said wrong or out of timeline these are my headcanons and projections so you either like it or not.. anyways I think his style pre-pre-JTHM (lets say 15-18) depicted many things, He was good at realism and fluctuated just fine between stylized art and big hefty works with a lot of detail. His stylized works looking similar to Jhonens and the whole 2000's artstyle cuz its fitting.

Of course he's like, a late teenager around this time so its GOOD but not perfect. If you pulled up a few of his drawings from this time he would probably be embarrassed by all the disproportionate limbs and goth girls he sketched and thought were badass. He probably has old sketches of friends in his style regardless if they asked to be drawn or not since his art was something he was proud of and people around him made him feel proud of. His old art also feels like it'd have anime elements unintentionally to add to that amateur artist swag. Johnny doesn't like anime copies but stuff he rips inspo from was anime inspired so it rubbed off on his work too. Moving onto PRE-JTHM (18-20) Is when his art started to get more serious and complex. In his happy era he took to drawing lovecraftian horror sometimes but it was always the secondary focus of any drawing.

Moving out and growing up was around the time his mental state started to worsen and he started using art to cope with emotions rather than just use it for fun, drawing complex monsters was a subconscious way to depict underlying mental illness that's out of his hands. He cant depict what he doesn't know he has, he can only scribble things that feel someone close to him because there is no physical appearance to emotions. He never liked his art around this time because it always felt unfinished or wrong or like it just didn't interpret what he wanted right. Overtime his art lost coherent appearance, quality, and meaning which made it feel worthless. It wouldn't be all that bad but it reached a point not even he knew what it was trying to be and it was frustrating. How can your own art not make sense to you? Its weird to let your hands go and do their own and you not recognize what they're trying to say. Which leads to SHORTLY BEFORE JTHM-and later.. Johnnys NEW preferred method for art currently is a little abstract, it became two extremes of the same thing; nothing. his art lost alot of what it used to be so he says he cant draw anymore.

Johnnys lovecraftian horror art slowly engulfed itself over time and always becomes an abstract mess. Its purposely made to be incomprehensible by having too much, regardless if its creation is poetic, an outside view not being able to tell what it is or how much work went into it is on purpose. its metaphorical or whatever.. Johnnys fucked up or something.. Whereas Noodleboy i imagine was made by him drawing a stickfigure one day to see if he can still "draw" and overtime gave him his features like angry eyes and that big hair, creating his own sort of vent sona to replace the sketchy abstract art he used before. Noodleboys chaoticness is too sporadic to rip any meaning off of, he also purposely represents nothing. His existence uses up paper the same way, just without all the extra effort. SORRRYYYY long tangent thats probably super messy i just winged it. but i cant help myself ive thought about this for a while ik i didnt strictly answer the question but i had so much more to say

[captainmera]

ok but Caleb saying " I do not want to rob my son of his life" is heartbreaking.

It so bittersweet that he sees him like a son especially since he never got to meet his own child. I really love the scene where he gives hunter his cloak when he puts him to sleep, I think he would've been a good dad...

The way I've written Caleb's fatherhood-ness is this:

He was a parental-figure brother to Philip, but he was a child himself when he started doing that. I am sure Caleb grew painfully aware that he wasn't equipped to take care of Philip; 'nor in maturity or ability, but what's the alternative? There isn't one. You do what you gotta do with the knowledge and power you have.

Which means he probably didn't raise Philip exemplarily. You can blame the adult-Caleb for not adjusting to it; but then you're asking him to control his brother with a whole new set of rules and reshape their set and working dynamic, which is easier said than done with a teenage little brother. And you cant really blame child-Caleb for not knowing better.

Caleb acts quickly on his fears or intuitions out of terror that things can escalate for the worse. He thinks he knows best because that's who he had to be, regardless of if he actually does knows best. He never had anyone to turn to, he just had to figure it out on the fly.

I think his worst bully is hindsight, and although he acts out of love (embraced by fear) he, too, can see retroactively that his actions are at best clumsy and at worst consequential.

Nobody's perfect, I don't think he would've been a perfect dad (just as there are no ideal person or people, people are just.. people! trying their best) But I do think he'd be a very loving one. And for someone like Hunter, I think that's pretty much all Hunter wished for.

But yes, I think Caleb, with the person he discovered himself to be in the BI, is someone who would do a good job as a dad. He does care, he does love. Even if it kind of comes out like a hiccup and a slap on the back that's a little too rough.

centuries of watching his doppelganger (sons) live their lives I'm sure he also picked up on a few things to advise them on. He's better on giving advise as an observer than being the one to interfere. (clearly)

But all in all, I think he is very proud of Hunter and already considers himself a father to him. Hunter is, technically, his flesh and blood.

My version of Caleb is a very flawed person. His fatherhood and continues attempt to be a martyr or take on all the load is.. also.. Reflective on the Noceda family trauma of losing Manny.

Luz and Camila both try to shoulder the burdens in the family. Wanting to be the one who makes life easier for the other.

Caleb sees and recognises this, especially in Camila. That's why he seemingly hold no qualms in laying out the hard cold cards for Luz the way he did in chapter Modern Times.

Anyway, I like Caleb. At least the way I write him. He's a little scatter-brained and wheezing, but dangit he's pulling the plot onwards. :'D

[bellewintersroe]

I'm back in your inbox with new ideas! Lol. The guys being left to care for your baby alone for the first time. I feel like this would kinda be both sweet and hilarious. For Malarkey, Chuck, Babe, Shifty, Winters, Luz, Liebgott, and whoever else you wanna add. ❤️

Super cute idea omg, I love this, thank you for your requests!!!

Easy Company x Reader Headcannons. 

Don Malarkey:

- okay 1000% is super confident when you’re around, he LOVES fatherhood, he’s so emotionally intelligent and caring that he’s the perfect dad, I can’t stress that enough (for all the men).

- when you leave just for a couple hours the baby’s probs asleep and Malarkey’s calm and content, just chilling, reading the paper and what not.

- That’s until the baby starts crying, at first he just goes for it, but when he can’t seem to settle your son he’s deffo raking his brain for every single thing he can do.

- Speaks to himself ‘okay, okay. What do I do?’

- would accidentally put the baby’s vest on backwards, or accidentally put his foot through the head hole.

- He doesn’t exactly fret, but he’s a little flustered and clumsy, especially when the baby won’t stop crying for its bottle and Don spills it all over the floor.

- But he wants everything to be perfect for when you come back, so as soon as he hears that door go he’s resting as carefully as he can back on the sofa with your baby boy wriggling resting on his chest.

Chuck Grant:

- I think after his accident Chuck is a lot more nervous and anxious about fatherhood. He never really worried about it before, he didn’t think about it a whole lot.

- Truthfully he’s scared to be left alone with the baby. He’s confident in his abilities to do day-to-day life tasks now, but due to the slight paralysis in part of his left arm he’s nervous.

- Regardless if he had the accident or not, he’d still be scared.

- Asks you sooo many questions, asks his friends, families, mom, he’s such a caring and good dad really, you’d assure him he has nothing to worry about.

- Deffo stands over your daughter’s crib to make sure she’s breathing. Like he’s checking on her every five minutes.

- Kinda scared of how tiny she is, like he’s scared to pick her up, faces so many irrational fears, but when she starts crying he kinda has no choice.

- He’s sooo reassuring, speaking to her and stroking his hand over her blonde hair.

- Scoops her up SO GENTLY- sosifiwidikwksosksos too cute omfg I can’t.

- but he’s extra fucking careful like with everything, he cradles her head and rocks her carefully.

- figures its not as scary as he thought. So when you’re back from the shop and see this you’re overwhelmed with happiness.

- “hey, this isn’t as scary as I thought!!”

- he’s a mf angel fr (even if he does almost throw up trying to change her dirty diaper).

Babe Heffron:

- On the topic of dirty diapers. You’ve gone out for the evening with a few of your girlfriends, extremely hesitant, but Babe is confident and assures you that you need to take a night off and he can handle your 3 month old daughter.

- He truly means it, he wants you to have a break- but it feels like the second you step foot outta the door all hell breaks loose.

- Your baby girl’s diaper practically explodes and Babe is positive he can handle it but the second he has to deal with it he’s GAGGING NOOO-

- Probably wraps a shirt around his face and he’s retching the whole time. Panics and gets the diaper on backwards- Bill is the only person that picks up the phone.

- He’s rocking and burping, feeding and soothing your baby but she won’t stop crying as Babe frantically questions Bill.

- “ya should know, you’ve got a whole army of em.”

- Turns out she just wants rocking and a little cuddle and as soon as she settles down Babe feels super proud. Like he smiles to himself so much, kisses her head and keeps her sleeping on his chest.

- Probably doesn’t move for a good 2 hours. If the baby is asleep he doesn’t want to wake her and cause WW3 so he just stays in that position lolllll.

Shifty Powers:

- He has such a calming presence that your daughter just soothes in his arm immediately. She’s got her dad wrapped around her finger and Shifty will find himself running all around the house

- Deffo cool asf with being left alone with your baby for the first time. He’s a little worried because you two are such a good team.

- I can imagine him sitting on the porch with your baby, holding her close as he points out the different wildlife he see’s running past.

- Probably the type of dad that wants to play with the baby fresh outta the womb, and you kinda have to say; “Shifty, give her two months to develop first.” Lmao

- “Look who’s back? That’s ya mommy, hm? Let’s go see her.” Ugh he’s so sweet and takes care of her so well, like I said he’s so mf calm, cool and collected. Literally like a baby whisperer.

Dick Winters:

- Similar to Shifty, he’s so mf calm and collected when he’s left alone- except before you leave he’s asking you plenty of questions.

- you kinda have to reassure like ‘Dick, I promise you’ll be fine, he’s not gonna run off anyway and you’re not going to drop him.’

- You’re right, and similar to Chuck he’s checking up on your baby every few minutes, smiling every time your son moves or makes the slightest noise.

- Sooo gentle and so good at keeping to a routine, literally so methodical, checks if he’s hungry, tired, cold, warm, just needs a cuddle?

- He’s even a little smug when you got back. Luckily for you both your baby is already calm, but I can imagine Dick carrying him and just watching down to his peaceful little face feeling so accomplished at life.

George Luz:

- Same as Shifty but worse, he but wants to play with your kid but he’s literally like 4 weeks old lmao.

- “Don’t worry, babe, I got it all covered, we’re gonna have the best time. Aren’t we?” He reassures before you leave as he speaks to his son (who obviously doesn’t reply).

- Thinks he’s got it all under control but he’s deffo exhausted by the end of it. At first the baby is asleep n he’s speaking to him before he turns over; “you don’t talk much, do you?”

- makes the worse mistake EVER and wakes up a sleeping baby; “c’mon little guy, let’s listen to the baseball.”

- Crying, crying and more crying. George does everything, he literally apologises to your baby for getting him up.

- “Tough life, little guy.” He teases but it doesn’t exactly work.

- George probably gets a little upset when you walk back in and the baby is still wailing. He feels the need to apologise and explain.

- “George it’s fine, he’s a baby he’s gonna cry.”

- Fr tho he’s such a good dad, so present and active in his child’s life.

Joe Liebgott:

- “Hey, I’m actually really fuckin’ good at this.” Accidentally curses in front of your newborn and slaps his hand over his mouth.

- Thinks he’s the pro at changing diapers and fixing bottles, he wants to do it as much as he can seeing as he has to go work through the week in the day.

- “You want me to read this or some real stories, huh?” Would read a comic book to your son, and it actually works when he goes to sleep.

- Tries to sleep when the baby does, he’s eager to show you that the two of you should start trying for more little Liebgott’s asap!!

- You’re out for the whole night, staying over at a relatives and Joe practically SPRINGS out of bed every time the baby cries.

- Maybe he’s a light sleeper from the war, but it’s just an automatic reaction, hurries over in a slight panic to make sure everything is ok.

- admits later he feels like a zombie by the morning, it creates an even stronger gratitude for you as a mother and he’s honestly so happy your back.

- Never complains about being tired again. He loves spending time with his son as much as possible, even if it is hard work at first, he’s soo fucking good at it that he does convince you to have 400 more children.

[howlingday]

Whitley's ARC Problem

Whitley: No, no, architect Faunus! It's all wrong!

Whitley: The muscles on the Jaune statue biceps need to be at least three times as big! Really capture his superiority!

Worker: Sir, my name is Ted, and I honestly can't make these muscles any bigger without compromising the infrastructure of New Mantle.

Whitley: Yes, yes, Moseby, I understand that, but if it's a choice between the children having a roof over their heads or my best friend in the entire world's statue being 100% accurate, well then sacrifices must be made!

Worker: Cool. Awesome. I guess my little girl is sleeping in the cold, then.

Whitley: Excellent!

Ruby: Whitley, um, honey? Can we talk?

Whitley: Ah! Ruby! My beautiful wife and the love of my life! What can I do for you, my beloved?

Ruby: Whitley... You know how you saying stuff like that makes me feel...

Ruby: But, actually, I need to talk to you about something. Is that okay?

Whitley: Of course it is! Communication is the cornerstone to any good and healthy relationship, regardless of it being professional or romantic! No relationship can survive without a healthy amount of communication!

Whitley: Isn't that right, Rikki?

Worker: Fuck you, sir!

Whitley: Yeah, he loves me... So, what is it you wanted to talk about?

Ruby: Well, it's... It's about Jaune.

Whitley: OH! You had me at Jaune, Ruby~! Of course we can talk about him! After all, he is the brave and incredible hero that I am proud to call my best friend~! Atop his heroic deeds and selfless personality, he also has those stunning looks that make men and women swoon~! Furhtermore-

Ruby: Yeah, that. That's what I wanted to talk about. The way you talk about Jaune is really... specific.

Whitley: Specific in what regard? You mean specifically the truth because he's so handsome and amazing~?

Ruby: No, like you're specifically talking about him to people like you're... Well.... Kinda gay for him?

Whitley: Of course I'm gay for him~!

Ruby: WHAT?!

Whitley: YES~! I'm always happy when he's around, and thinking about him simply makes me want to cheer up just so I can see him smile!

Ruby: I... I didn't think you would just- Oh! No, no, no! Whitley, I don't mean the dictionary definition of gay.

Whitley: I beg your pardon? What else could you mean then?

Ruby: I mean you act really... homosexual around him.

Whitley: WHAT?! Whatever would give you THAT impression?!

Ruby: Well, there's the way you talk about his body...

Whitley: You mean his perfect and god-like body you'd be a fool not to fall in love with and want to sleep next to? I fail to see how that makes me gay!

Ruby: Okay, then what about how you talk about his personality?

Whitley: Absolutely ridiculous! How does me truthfully stating that Jaune is masculine perfection incarnate from his strength to stand against threats to his positive and uplifting charisma to be kind to everyone to his adorable fascination with and love of cinema to even his sexy confidence in whatever he does come across as GAY?!

Ruby: Whitley... You're literally building a statue of Jaune, SHIRTLESS WITH YOU HUGGING HIM, in the middle of the front yard driveway! Heck, you moved your grandpa's statue away from there just to put it there!

Whitley: Well, yes, but it absolutely belongs up there! It's a commemoration of the time Jaune, removed of his armor, allowed me to embrace and take shelter within him in front of everyone!

Ruby: Stop.

Whitley: And let me tell you, we both were quite sweaty as I took hold of him, and there was so much fluids everywhere that it was almost unbearable!

Ruby: Please, STOP.

Whitley: And even though that massive one-eyed snake was a tough and sturdy beast, Jaune and I, together, pushed through its fluids and whacked away that snake into a crater! It was a long and hard thing to whack, but finally, our endless whacking offed the one-eyed snake, stopping it from squirting any further fluids all over the people of New Atlas!

Ruby: I'm convince you're doing this on purpose...

Whitley: Doing what?! I'm just describing how Jaune and I shared a good whacking together!

Ruby: Whitley! Please!

Whitley: Look, Ruby, I understand you have concerns, and maybe the way I talk about Jaune is a bit much, but it's purely out of admiration and respect for the man who married my sister, and who saved all of New Atlas from that one-eyed snake's squirting!

Ruby: Whitley...

Whitley: (Holds her hands) But trust me when I say that is all there is to it! You are the love of my life, Ruby~. You're a kind and gentle soul who cares for everyone and only wants them to be happy, and I'm honored to have you as my wife~.

Ruby: Babe... That's... That's so sweet~! Thank you for saying that! (Hugs) I'll admit, maybe I was just jealous of your bond with Jaune and, even though what you were saying before didn't help, I see it's nothing like I thought it was. And even though you have this weird habit to say innuendos, you really love me the way I love you~.

Whitley: Indeed! You have nothing to worry about, my love~!

Ruby: (Giggles) Yeah... I know better now, honey...

Whitley: Besides, we only had sex, like, 19 times!

Ruby: ...

Ruby: W H A T ?

Whitley: YES! And those are only since you and I have been married~! Oh, but don't worry; we were both wearing socks the entire time, so it wasn't gay!

Ruby: THAT'S... YOU... I...

Whitley: Because as "NotGayDongLover6969" posted, "You can have sex with the homies as much as you want and as long as you wear socks it's not gay!" Truly, a voice for the modern age to live by~!

Ruby: I want a divorce.

Whitley: WHAT?! WHY?!

[sugar-omi]

yo this is random asf but i'm watching girls trip rn and idk if you've seen it but there's this scene where a girl and this guy are hooking up and she's rubbing on his dick and she's like "you should move your arm" and he gon smile and say "that's not my arm" and she was like DAMN

so just imagine that with Cove, but instead of being all cocky about it he's like super flustered that you would even think it was that big. idk why, but shy Cove just awakens something in me. like damn, now i HAVE to choke on your dick

i mean i was going to regardless but still 🤭

i don't know what girls trip is but I'm fucking losing it over this idea because I can SEE COVE'S FLUSHED FACE N I LOVE IT

he's so not the type to be so outwardly proud of his size. in fact, he probably wouldn't think anything of his size until you're getting more n more intimate but even then it probably doesn't click for him, even if you're smaller than him, the thought just doesn't hit him..

he's been a big guy all his life. doesn't think that it translates to his dick as well.

definitely never engaged in guy talk like that either. like even warm (sociable) cove, would listen to his guy friends talk, but he wouldn't engage or entertain any of the stuff they were saying

even if he heard girls, or even you! talking about "oh he must be packing" he wouldn't ever think. huh. I'm also tall... or get curious about the size of his length n take up a ruler

wouldn't even realize it until it's clear you're gonna go all the way soon. n he reads up on stuff because he wants your first time to be perfect... n he's reading n reading... finally realizes. oh. he's not average.

n if at any point. you say something like that, or go "you're so big.." in the middle of sex, it flusters him so bad. the first time you comment, he just asks if that's a bad thing, or if he's hurting you...

but this scenario specifically? you're rubbing up on his dick, totally groping him through his sweatpants and looking obviously pleased with how he immediately reacts to your touch, even more pleased to see the blood is clearly only making it to his face and his cock.

you're clearly messing with him when tell him to "move his arm", still sputters out that that's definitely not his arm.. and if his shyness is anything to go by, or the way his cock twitches under the heat of your palm, well it's not a fucking snake either.

he'd be so confused when you huff out a desperate breath and mumble "fuck.." n take your kiss swollen lip under your teeth, as if he just said the sexiest thing ever.

sees how your demeanor changes.. your eyes look more cloudy, hazed over with thick lust, your eyes moving south, and your hand both trying to gauge his size and turn him on.

asks, "is that.. is that okay?" and if you wanna continue. is so fucking surprised by how you all but crumble in despair at the mere thought of stopping

oh and if, or when, you let him know how much you love his size. he's blushing like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time. in fact, worse than. can't handle your vulgar descriptors without them going straight to his dick

does tell you he doesn't wanna hurt you, but uh.. he'd be down to try that stuff one day if you mean it.

and yknow... i just thought about it. the first patreon dlc, when you're giving cove head and he thrusts up into your mouth, and forces your head down his length while he cums

can't tell me MC's throat wasn't sore or at least a bit rough after last night. cove didn't mean to be rough, and he really wasn't trying to be. but it's not like having your head held down while a guy cums down your throat is a daily occurrence

he does feel bad, pampers you a bit in the morning before you go about your day. but doesn't last when you're sitting there, smirking n telling him you want him to be rougher next time. or that he could use your throat like a sleeve and you'd still be happy

at this rate, it's definitely your fault he becomes such a horndog 🤭

[readerthatreadsss]

Sweet Fantasy | Dean Winchester

GIF by born-to-be-his-baby88

(gave myself an actual pat on the fucking back for finding this gif like y'all are gonna see how perfect it is in a second!)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Dean won't eat his vegetables...until you offer to cash in on a very recent fantasy of his, that is.

Warnings [18+ MINORS DNI]: P*rn w/ some solid plot action actually, a bit of domestic fluff sprinkled in, reader and Dean are married (don't know if that's a warning but you should know?), reader dresses up in a sexy Zorro costume with the hat and mask included, handcuffs (Dean receiving), mentions of a safeword but not used, fingering/masturbation (reader receiving), oral sex (brief Dean receiving), a whole lotta teasing (Dean receiving), p in v sex (cowgirl, missionary), unprotected sex (wrap your willy before you fuck her silly!), dirty talk, switch! Dean, switch! reader, very vocal Dean, brief choking (Dean receiving), creampie.

A/n: Hey! Sorry for disappearing for 3 months again...So classes finished almost 2 months ago and I've been wracking my brain about what to post. I tried finishing some of my drafts and it just wasn't working for me idk. Then, like any normal person, I was randomly watching some SPN bloopers this morning and it got to a scene where Dean said sometimes he wants to get spanked during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask and my brain ran with that shit IMMEDIATELY. Now, I'm so sorry I couldn't actually write him actually getting spanked without it sounding corny and just wrong to me? But I did write all of this in 7 hours without stopping so I'm honestly proud of it regardless.

Enjoy...

It was a Sunday evening in the bunker, meaning you were responsible for dinner. With that task came the additional task of getting Dean to eat whatever vegetables you cooked without complaining and engaging in a rant that would end with him calling himself the “meat man”.

It’s not that you were concerned about Dean's weight or appearance, after 7 years of marriage you were confident that there was nothing in the world that could make you love Dean Winchester any less. But having a steady diet of beer, beef, and pie was a surefire way to kill any man of Dean’s age faster than any monster or demon.

And God knows you’d do anything to ensure he didn’t die before his time.

Hell, you have before.

Which is why you made Dean agree to eat a side of only vegetables with whatever meat he wanted at least once a week. This week it was string beans and sautéed mushrooms, aka his least favorite vegetable.

But you didn’t have the time to make the 45-minute drive to the grocery store earlier that day so he would have to deal.

Or you wish he would deal…

“Mushrooms? Baby come on,” he complained when you placed his plate before him.

“Hey, it’s all that was left in the fridge. Eat up,” you shrugged, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

“You know, we could always do no vegetables,” Dean offered with a wide grin.

You chuckled and used a finger to squish his stubbled cheek. “You wish, Winchester.”

He sighed in defeat and turned to pick up his fork.

You looked to make sure Sam was out of earshot before leaning down to where your lips grazed Dean’s ear. “Tell you what, if you eat those vegetables I’ll do that thing you told me about…later” you whispered.

Dean’s eyes lit up immediately, “The thing?” he harshly whispered.

You nodded with a smile.

“Costume and everything?” He made a gesture with his hands.

“Yup, I’ve been hiding the costume for weeks.”

“I’m game” Dean agreed, digging into the mushrooms first.

You turned away to share your own plate with a smile.

“I’m gonna go grocery shopping later,” Sam announced as he sat beside Dean with his plate. He met your eyes, “Anything else you forgot to put on the list?”

“Yeah stop at the liquor store and grab me a bottle of red? I ran out,” you answered sitting across from the boys with your plate.

Sam grabbed a pen and a piece of folded paper from his pocket and added it to his list, “Yeah, no problem. What brand again?”

You swallowed a piece of your chicken with a smirk. “I’m sure you already know seeing as you’re the one who emptied the bottle to the very last drop,” you addressed Sam.

His pen slipped from his grip, his green eyes widening to meet your narrowed ones.

“You drink red wine?” Dean pointed at Sam in disbelief as a laugh rumbled in his chest.

“How did you know?” He asked you, ignoring Dean’s quip.

“I saw you passed out in the library clutching the bottle the other night.”

“Listen Dean finished all the beer and it was the first thing I saw,” he defended himself.

“Oh, you’re getting more creative with your excuses. I'm impressed!” You gushed, sarcasm evident in your tone, “What was it again last week? ‘Oh Eileen wanted to taste some’ " you mimicked his gruff tone causing him to roll his eyes and Dean’s laughter to grow louder. “-when we all know that Eileen is a white wine type of gal.”

"I-" Sam tried to come up with a retort but eventually gave up. “Whatever.”

“Yeah pick up 3 bottles this time in case Eileen wants a taste,” you replied with a grin.

“Three bottles?!” He exclaimed.

“You aren’t the one paying for it, genius,” you reminded him, referring to the unlimited card Charlie hacked for you all those years ago.

“Yeah but I’m gonna have to lug it up here,” Sam mumbled as he stuck his fork into his chicken.

Dinner continued mostly in silence with Sam thinking about the two lousy trips he’d have to make between his car and the kitchen once he returns with the groceries, Dean thinking about the reward he’ll be getting for the vegetables he’s actually grown used to eating, and y/n thinking about all the ways she’s gonna make Dean squirm later.

~ ~ ~

Hours had passed since dinner and Sam was now on his way to the grocery store leaving just you and Dean in the bunker.

To say he was excited would be an understatement.

Dean first told you about this fantasy of his after a case you had months ago required you to take a trip to an adult costume shop to question the owner. It took mere seconds for the image of you in the very specific costume to cross his mind after laying eyes on the packaging.

You laughed at the idea when he told you and silently decided you would try and find the costume.

Of course, he didn’t believe you would actually indulge him but you were actually excited too. Costumes and toys weren’t new territory for you and Dean but they were few and far between with your unpredictable hunting schedules.

Dean now sat at the edge of your shared bed wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt waiting for you to return like you had promised.

But it had been almost 20 minutes since you left to get changed and his patience was wearing thin. He was seconds away from getting up and coming to see if you needed help or if you were even hurt.

Which you predicted would be the case.

So you had been standing out of sight by the doorway for less than a minute now waiting for him to try and leave.

“Damnit,” Dean eventually gave in to his worries and began to make his way to the door.

You smirked once you heard his determined steps drawing closer.

Dean’s eyes widened once you spun from your hiding spot against the wall to stand before him. “Looking for me?”

You watched his throat bob and his pupils dilate as he took in your full look.

Atop your head and face rested a sexy black Zorro mask and matching hat. You were also wearing a black sleeveless leather top that stopped in your midriff region and had strings tied between your breasts that allowed a whole lot of cleavage to be on display. The leather skirt that accompanied was low-waisted and stopped at your upper thigh, matching the black thong you were wearing beneath.

You had stretched the thin straps of the thong along your hips above the skirt for added flair.

In your right hand, you held a fake silver sword similar to the one Zorro held in the movies, and hanging from the left side of your skirt were two handcuffs ready and waiting to be used.

You were sex on knee-length boot-covered legs.

Dean felt himself growing hard already.

You bit your bottom lip at the way your husband’s eyes roamed your body, hoping the dark red lipstick covering it was as transfer and waterproof as the box advertised.

“You look...stunning,” Dean marveled. The model on the packaging of the costume didn’t come close to how it looked on your body.

Your heart swelled at the compliment before remembering the persona you had practiced for the night ahead. “Oh I know,” you took a step closer and leaned against the doorway. You pointed the sword in Dean’s direction. “Why are you still dressed, Dean?” you asked with furrowed brows and a smile.

A chuckle almost left your lips at the sight of Dean fumbling with his pant strings and tripping over his own legs to send the pajama bottoms flying over to a random corner while throwing off his t-shirt with record speed.

He stood before you in only his boxers, his enjoyment of your costume evident by the bulge in the center.

“Get on the bed.” You told him, your tone not excessively commanding but sexy enough to make him obey immediately.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, quickly sitting and sliding up to the headboard of the bed.

You walked further into the room and placed your sword down before climbing onto the bed and slowly crawling to where Dean sat. His green eyes followed your every move as you moved to straddle him, but not fully.

You then grabbed the two pairs of handcuffs attached to your hips and twirled them around your fingers. “How you feeling Dean?” you checked in, your hips hovering above his thighs, making sure to not touch his erection just yet.

“Oh, I feel great. Real great. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this great,” he nodded eagerly as you cuffed each of his hands to each bedpost, getting a face full of your boobs in the process.

"You sound nervous," you teased him, "Am I making you nervous baby?"

"Me? Nervous? Pfft!"

You scoffed, not believing him one bit. "What's our safe word?" you asked him gently.

Dean leaned forward as much as his restraints would allow to press a sweet kiss against your stomach. " 'Oklahoma', baby," he grinned.

You then let your clothed ass sink down on his covered erection. Dean groaned and tried to reach for your hips instinctively only to meet the restriction of the handcuffs. “I hope they aren’t too tight 'cause they’re gonna be on there for a while,” you nearly bust out laughing at the look Dean gave you.

“A while?” he repeated, dreading not being able to touch you at a time like this.

You shrugged, “If you behave I might change my mind.”

Before he could argue further, you leaned forward and connected your lips in a searing kiss. His breath was hot against your face as your lips drifted to his neck while your hands found themselves in his hair.

A breathy groan slipped past his lips when you nipped a specific spot beneath his ear lobe. “You’re so loud. Maybe I should’ve bought a muzzle,” you whispered in his ear teasingly, feeling his dick jump beneath you at your words. “I'll remember that next time,” you replied to his body's response.

“Baby, do you have any idea how amazing you look? ” Dean gushed, struggling against his restraints as you began to grind your hips against his covered cock.

You smiled and met his lips in a kiss once again. He slipped his tongue between your welcoming lips, allowing his taste to flood your mouth. You pulled away seconds later, nipping his bottom lip, and removed yourself from his lap.

He watched nervously, awaiting your next move while you scooted farther away from him along the bed. You slowly slipped off your boots, your confidence unwavering as you held Dean’s hungry stare.

He watched you use a hand to hold yourself upright before spreading your legs open to reveal the lace thong covering your already-drenched pussy. “Are you about to..." he trailed off, jaw clenched as he spoke.

"Hmm mhm. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it...except watch," you slowly removed your thong and threw it at Dean’s lap. He immediately became hyperaware of the feeling of the wet lace draped over his dick.

You slowly brought two fingers up to your lips and sucked them even slower to coat them in your saliva and give Dean a show before bringing them down to where you needed them the most. You began slow ministrations against your aching clit, pulling moans from yourself that made Dean impossibly harder.

He took a deep breath at the sight, imagining his own fingers parting your folds and rubbing at your swollen clit.

“You are a menace,” Dean laughed in obvious distress, licking his dried lips. He couldn’t handle watching you touch yourself without being able to touch you any longer so he looked away, swallowing harshly at the sound of your wetness against your fingers.

“Look at me Dean,” you mewled, continuing to rub your pussy in small quick circles. He turned reluctantly, watching as you slowly pushed two fingers inside your dripping hole. “See this, baby? It’s all for you,” you said, melting into a moan when your fingers grazed a spot inside you that drew your orgasm closer.

“I gotta taste you, baby,” Dean pleaded, “Open these and let me taste you, please,” he rattled the handcuffs against the bedposts.

The pure agony in his voice had your fingers and breathing speeding up and soon your climax was approaching. Dean’s breathing picked up in response. “Fuck, Dean I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, pressing a thumb to your clit while your fingers kept working inside of you to bring you to the edge.

A thin layer of sweat appeared on Dean’s forehead as he watched you keenly. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, his self-control draining by the second.

Your eyes remained open and locked onto his, your moans growing louder and borderline pornographic. You were putting on a show and he was losing his mind.

“I’m cumming, fuck-“ you panted as your first orgasm of the night slammed into you and caused you to make a small mess on the sheets beneath you. Your body shook sporadically with aftershocks of your own work

Dean’s head hung low. “Jesus baby,” he huffed, his own voice strangled, “you’re trying to give me a heart attack aren’t you?”

You smiled as you crawled back up to sit on Dean’s lap, taking your thong and throwing them somewhere unseen. “Ehh maybe,” you replied coyly, straightening your hat and mask. “And since you behaved so well,” you reached a hand down to touch his clothed cock, “I think you deserve a reward,” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Dean allowed you to pull his boxers off his body, watching you wrap a hand around his painfully erect cock. “Fuck,” he groaned at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him.

You slid down to where you could lay flat on your stomach between his legs and leaned down to briefly swirl your tongue around where precum was gathered at the tip.

“Take the hat off and look at me pretty girl,” Dean said.

You complied, throwing the hat off to the edge of the bed before diving down and licking his tip once again, but this time keeping your eyes locked onto his.

“Holy shit,” Dean groaned, his hips twitching upwards. You then opened your mouth and wrapped it around his length, slowly sliding down until your nose was nuzzled at the base, staying there for a few seconds before coming back up for air. “Hell yes, baby that's perfect,” he panted as you began sucking faster along his length, a few lone tears flowing from beneath the mask from the familiar stretch of his cock in your throat.

Your head continued to bob up and down Dean’s length for some time, drawing shallow moans of your name and grunts from him before you finally let up and pressed one last kiss against the side of his cock.

Dean’s chest heaved as you licked your lips and used a hand to wipe your face clean. “Goddamnit," he whined at your sudden stop, feeling his impending orgasm return to its hiding place.

You grabbed your previously discarded Zorro hat and placed it back on your head before hiking your skirt up to allow you more room to move your legs around Dean’s lap. “Can’t have you cumming before I’m done with you sweetheart,” you replied while untying the strings of your top and removing it.

The keys to the handcuffs dropped onto Dean’s lap from where you previously hid them in your top. You had honestly forgotten you put them there but it just presented yet another opportunity to get Dean all whiny and desperate, which was a rarity that you rather enjoyed.

“Oops would you look at that,” you exclaimed playfully, taking them up and dangling them in front of Dean’s eyes.

"Alright baby you broke me. Come on, just let me go, and trust me, I will make it worth your while,” Dean bargained with you.

"As enticing as that sounds," you paused and brought your hand up to caress Dean’s cheek before pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled away with a grin. “I love hearing you beg, so no,” you whispered against his lips.

Dean loudly groaned watching you gently place the keys down on the closest nightstand. “Shit,” he shut his eyes.

But they shortly shot open once you used a hand to grip his length and bring it between your dripping folds.

A pleased hum left your lips once the tip glazed your clit causing Dean to swallow harshly. “Aren’t you sick of teasing me,” he hissed.

Fuck no.

You used a free hand to grip the back of his hair. “Take a deep breath for me, Dean,” you told him, feeling his chest rise against yours soon after. And as it fell, you slipped his cock inside your entrance.

You slowly sank down onto his length until it was fully buried inside you, groaning at the welcomed stretch.

“I love those sounds you make for me,” Dean whispered against your lips.

“Oh you’re gonna be making some of those sounds too,” you smirked, clenching around him causing a sharp grunt to reach your ears.

You guided your hips up and down Dean’s length, riding him at a quickening pace. He jerked his hips upward to match your cadence drawing a gasp from your lips when his cock hit that spot inside you that had you seeing stars. “There you go baby,” Dean groaned, “you look so fucking good riding my cock.”

The hat and mask from your costume managed to stay in place as you slammed down on Dean’s cock repeatedly. And it was an image that he would never forget.

Your hand released Dean’s hair and instead found itself wrapped around Dean’s neck as you rode him faster. A whine that shot straight to your cunt escaped his lips when your fingers slightly tightened their grip around his throat.

You suddenly slowed down and instead began to grind your hips against his, moaning loudly when your clit grazed his pelvis. “I’m gonna cum again shit!” You threw your head back in obscene pleasure, releasing Dean's throat and holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Fuck yes. Use my cock to get off, sweetheart,” Dean urged you on before leaning forward to suck one of your nipples as best as he could.

This soon pushed you over the edge, your climax tearing a scream from within you as your hips faltered around Dean’s cock, your hat flying off your head once more. Dean relished in the way your cunt pulsed around him from your orgasm as well as the look of sheer pleasure that crossed your face at that moment. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled up at you, meaning every word.

You kissed his forehead with a smile and reached for the handcuff keys. “I think I’ve tortured you enough,” you freed his right hand first, pressing a kiss against his wrist, then did the same to his left, “This is supposed to be a reward after all.”

Dean’s lips curved into a smirk at his newfound freedom. “Yes it is, sweetheart.”

A surprised yelp left your lips when Dean gripped your hips and flipped you onto your back. He grabbed your hat and placed it on his own head before sending you a wink. “And I’m not feeling rewarded just yet.”

You nearly came just from the sight of Dean hovering above you in only that hat. “We’re gonna have to talk about my sexy cowboy fantasy when we’re done here,” you raised a brow.

A low chuckle echoed from Dean’s chest. He reached up and tipped his hat in your direction, “yes ma’am.” He replied with a deep southern drawl.

Your pussy clenched instantly.

“That was hot as fuck,” you breathed.

“Thank you darlin’ “ he replied in the same accent with a wink.

You giggled before pulling him down for a kiss. He pulled away and touched the mask still wrapped around your eyes. “And thank you for doing this for me, baby,” he smiled down at you, “It was so so much better than I imagined.”

“It was definitely my pleasure,” you nodded happily, feeling his hands glide down your sides.

“Was?” He protested playfully. “The night is still young, sweetheart!” He threw your legs over his shoulder causing you to exclaim at the sudden move. He placed a kiss on each of your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance before entering you once again.

“FUCK” you cried out at the sudden intrusion, feeling your eyes well up with tears of pleasure in record time.

Dean pulled out and slammed into you once again, his grip on your legs tightening as he eased into a quick pace.

“YES-Dean holy shit,” you moaned, eyes quickly rolling to the back of your head and back arching up and off the bed as he fucked you with reckless abandon.

“How’s it feeling baby?” Dean said, bringing a hand down to play with your clit.

“So good, Dean, so fucking good,” you rambled, your skin buzzing with pleasure, “Harder, please, I'm almost there,” you found yourself begging.

“You gonna cum for me already pretty girl?” He sped up his slaughter on your cunt, "Maybe I should make you beg for it?" his voice was low and demeaning but only spurred you on more.

You shook your head adamantly while your hands fumbled around Dean's waist for a solid grip. So he simply released your legs and grabbed your hands before holding them down above your head, driving his cock into you even harder at this new angle.

“Dean!" you broke off into a strangled moan.

Dean’s lips attacked your open neck. “I wish we had neighbors so they could hear you screaming my fucking name,” he all but growled as the sounds of your moans and skin against skin plagued the air.

You came with a yell seconds later, your release coating Dean’s cock and the sheets. “That’s my girl. There you go baby,” he released your hands and held your face, guiding you down from your high.

Your hands gripped Dean’s hair harshly as you kissed his lips and his hips stuttered, his cum coating your insides soon after. You swallowed his grunts as his cock continued to leak and twitch inside you.

Broken pants befell both your lips in between sloppy kisses while your orgasms passed and your shared spend flowed between your legs. You eventually released his lips for air, “That was-“

“-Incredible,” he mirrored your thoughts, removing your hat from his head. Dean used a hand to remove your mask and brush a few strands of hair behind your ears once he moved to lie down beside you.

“Hi,” you grinned in awe of the man you called your husband. “Hey sweetness,” he grinned back, adoration evident in his deep green eyes.

Your cheeks flushed as he pressed a kiss against your forehead. He quickly grabbed his previously discarded t-shirt and used it to clean up the mess between your legs before throwing it in the laundry basket nearby.

You snuggled into his side once he returned to the bed.

“So uhh what was it you were saying about your cowboy kink?” Dean smugly asked after a few seconds.

“Goddamnit Dean,” you shamefully groaned into his side, gaining a chuckle from him.

ANDDD SCENE!

Hope it wasn't too bad seeing as I gave up on editing it like 75% through it.

Tbh I highly doubt more than 20 people are gonna see this because I have no idea how strong the Supernatural fandom's presence is on here, which also means that I don't know if anyone has used a plot like this one before so don't be afraid to let me know if that is the case and I will make changes as I see fit!

(Also let me know if you want a sequel one shot with sexycowboy! Dean and reader. Or feel free to make any other requests)

Reblogs, likes, and comments are ALWAYS appreciated :)

divider creds : @cafekitsune

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey, remember that time II kissed Vessel's arm? Okay byyeeeee :D

Well HELLO GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO

(yes i did see this before i went to bed but i was wayyy too eepie to reply)

I hope you know this has just set the mood for my entire day so. I'm gonna be extra yearning and soft and whiny 👍 Sorry about that guys, I'm a pathetic wet cat of a person 😞

He could've hugged him. He could've high fived. He could've done that guy thing where they slap each other's butts and it's totally platonic and wholesome and hilarious.

AND YET. Mr. Daddy Twofoot (cmon guys, catch up on the name) KISSED??? HIS ARM??? On the sensitive soft part too?????

Like. Okay. Yeah yeah, the boyfriends, etc etc. But let me be actually serious for a second here.

(hello this turned out to be way longer and sappy than i intended so)

Do you see how effortless that was? He didn't hesitate for a second. How often do you see two guys (who I'm assuming are straight) be this affectionate with each other? A kiss on the inner arm is *such* a tender, intimate gesture, regardless of gender/sexuality - a type of action that is not usually expected between straight men.

And I don't know, I find it incredibly endearing and important to see that, as much as they do all that funny sexy stuff for the fans (and for themselves too - they seem to have so so much fun), these type of actions seem to be a part of their regular off-stage interactions. You can feel how genuinely good friends they all are.

And in the case of Vessel and ii, the founders of Sleep Token and the major force behind it all - how surreal and incredible it must be for them to get to experience all of this together. To see their hard work paying off. To stand proudly in front of literal thousands of people side by side with your best friend??? HELLO???

It's such a small thing, but I carries so much weight ya know? Like yeah dude, I love you and I'm proud of you, and you did a wonderful job. Isn't it SO touching???

I just LOVE to see it. Men who are vulnerable and affectionate around each other, who are comfortable in it, who shows us that yes, platonic friendships and pda are beautiful and important and in no way make you any less of a men. Which is something a LOT of dudebros in the metal scene would benefit in knowing.

I just. I don't know bro. Vessel x ii interactions mean the whole word to me. I was just talking with someone a few days ago of just how far Vessel has come in his music journey, and even within Sleep Token, the difference between One days and now is. Nothing short of astronomical. It feels almost miraculous, yet it is anything bUT, because we know how much effort V and ii put into making the music we so love. And of course iii, although not part of the creation process, has been with them from the beginning as well.

Can you imagine how overwhelmingly awesome and scary it must be for them?? And what are the odds of after a few years of changes, they somehow found the perfect person to complete them? SO MUCH SO, that you can see just how close iii and iv are BY THEIR MIRRORING ATTIRES?? HELLOOOOO ???? SOULMATES FR FR

Aaaa I feel like I'm going off on a huge tangent, and I am stopping now before I bring up the German Rituals and Wembley. December was a wild month omg I have not recovered yet.

I just!!! My heart!!! I love them. Vessel PLEASE I have been begging on my hands and knees, PLEASE PLEASE give your drummer a smooch omg he deserves it poor guy has the twinkliest prettiest eyes ever how can you NOT 🥺✨💙

Anyways. Yes, I do remember. Good gif 🙂👍

[ofmdrecaps]

08/24/2024 - 08/25/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Gypsy Taylor; Kristian Nairn; Nathan Foad; Madeleine Sami; Nat Torres; Minnie Driver; Vico Ortiz; GalaxyCon San Jose Video; Adopt Our Crew Anniversary Notifs; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; Our Flag Means Fanfiction; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika;

== Rhys Darby ==

So Rhys IS actually in the Rhett & Link Wonderhole episode-- as a narrator! You can check him out starting at 16:55 (Thank you @follows-the-bees for sharing the exact time for Rhys! <3)

== Gypsy Taylor ==

Great news!! Gypsy Taylor and Catherine Martin ended up winning the Best Costume Design For A Television Production Award with APDGuild! The cast and crew were so supportive in sending her love as well. Look at how proud she it <3 She deserves it!

Source: Gypsy Taylor's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian added to his post on the Beyond The Crown Signing-- that he'll also be doing an event with Forbidden Plan in the UK!

Source: Kristian Nairn's Twitter

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan out at the Monkey Barrel Comedy Club!

Source: Nathan Foad's Instagram Stories

== Madeleine Sami ==

More Double Parked BTS with Mads! and a silly vid of Mads and her costar Antonia Prebble on a plane-- heyyyy what show is that?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Antonia Prebble (@antonia_prebble)

Source: Livsparker Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico is going to be joining the crew at The Republic Of Pirates on November 22-24 in Heathrow-- and they set out a very important question for everyone-- what pirate should they dress up as?

Source: Vico's Instagram Stories

Now, guess who happened to respond to Vico's question out on Twitter as well?

Source: Vico's Twitter

== Nat Torres ==

Nat was also posting some OFMD related content on their stories.

Source: Nat Torres Instagram

== Minnie Driver ==

Our dear Anne Bonny is done with surfing for a while <3

Source: Minnie Driver's Instagram Stories

== More GalaxyCon SanJose ==

@adoptourcrew was able to share some film of the OFMD Panel from GalaxyCon SanJose on their Instagram Reels! This is of the guest kid who was dressed as Izzy coming up on stage.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Adopt Our Crew (@adoptourcrew)

Source: Adopt Our Crew Instagram

== Adopt Our Crew Anniversary Notifs ==

I love that our friends over at @adoptourcrew are reminding us of some pretty iconic tweets from Chaos Dad.

Source: Adopt Our Crew Instagram

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight's cast cards from the fabulous @melvisik are Ashlee Fidow one of the Stunt performers, and Kerrin Jackson, the Assistant Makeup Department Head!

Source: Melvisik's Twitter

= Our Flag Means FanFiction =

New episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction! This time, they interview some of the fans who got to go to The Live Cryptid Factor Shows! Wanna check out the latest episode? Visit: OFMFF's Linktree!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey there Lovelies. I'm behind again, what's new? Life is hard sometimes and no matter how much we want to be able to be caught up with what we need to, it just doesn't always work out the way we plan. Society has told us for so long we have to be perfect. Society tells us there's no room for error. But you know what? Life is messy. I don't know what each and every one of you deals with in a day-- and vice versa. Life is complicated, and busy, and best laid plans barely ever go the way they should. Add children, or pets, or family into the mix and it's even messier.

I appreciate all your patience with me, and for all your patience with all the other things in your life that don't always go to plan. It's frustrating at times, but I know eventually things will slow down and look up, and I hope all that happens for you sooner rather than later. Life is messy, but wonderful regardless. I hope it treats you well this week, lovelies. Sending hugs <3

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

I just really needed them today so here they are. Thank you as always to the gif-master @ofmd-ann <3

[dullgecko]

Exam results day today for me, so here's some hc on how the Bad Kids react to their grades:

Fig: Genuinely unbothered, the archdevil of rebellion in her doesn't respect any system to care. Besides, if she had ever been worried about her grades, she would have attended bard class occasionally!! She also knows full well that they won't fail her overall (she is literally a famous rockstar, that's the ideal for bardery!!!)

Riz: Treats his grades like one of his cases, he doesn't really react to when he (frequently) does extremely well, but a low grade might just destroy the perfectionist in him

Gorgug: I feel like he would be incredibly proud of himself regardless of the grade he gets from growing up with extremely supportive parents and also because he doesn't typically see himself as intelligent, so getting any sort of codified proof that he isn't dumb means a lot

Fabian: "Of course I passed, I'm Fabian Arameus Seacaster!" Is the front he puts on, but secretly he actually cares deeply and does worry that he isn't good enough, esp after Leviathan

Adaine: Worries. A lot. Her grades are near perfect, but that doesn't stop her. She probably actually knows exactly the grade she has going into the exam hall because /Oracle stuff/, but that doesn't stop the voice in her head panicking from when she lived with her parents, which jawbone probably finds out the hard way

Kristen: She pretends not to care about her grades and put on a tough girl attitude, but they actually matter to her more than she will admit even to herself, the part of her mind still clinging to being Helio's chosen still seeking that approval

Fig could probably argue to get her final grades in her bard classes changed. In fact, the principal would respect that she had the gaul to even try. She's right, she IS a famous rock star. Isnt that the goal of these classes? She doesnt care enough to go that far though, she passed the last stand and is dropping out with an A grade to live that rockstar/archdevil life.

Riz would have a full-blown meltdown over a bad grade. He already might not be able to afford to go to college, and he's a goblin, so he has to maintain that A+ average. He studies extreamly hard, and does all his extra curriculars, AND is helping Kristen with her presidential stuff. If he werent so goddamn impressive the rogue teacher would give him a bad grade just so he'll try to break into the schools systems to change it (which coincidentally would give him enough extra credit to make it an A+ again).

Gorgug has so many people calling him stupid that it just slides right off his back. He's pretty good at rolling with the punches, so if he gets a bad grade he just doubles down on his studies and does extra well the next time.

Fabian is one of those kids who pretends they didnt study for the exam, but secretly studied so so much. He wants to make his parents proud, and if he cant be EFFORTLESSLY perfect in his schoolwork he'll at least make it seem like it's effortless. The Lofi study nights at the manor helped with this a lot, because he could study while still making it look like it was just to help other people.

Adaine worries so much that she gives herself panic attacks even if she KNOWS all the material on the exam. Jawbone advocates for her though, so she gets to take most of her exams in a quiet room and gets extra time. For the ones where she has to do it with her classmates though the councilor is always there to help supervise just in case she has a meltdown.

Kristen struggles a lot with her classes but she's at least managing a decent C average. She feels horrible about it though, because even though she studies she cant bring the grade up. She just has a lot of trouble focusing and should probably talk to Jawbone about it.

[jedi-lothwolf]

Februwhump Day 2: "I Love You" (Alt Prompt 2)

Fandom: EPIC the musical

Summary: Polites fell in love with his captain. The problem is Odysseus is happily married. So he'll just love his from the side.

    Polites knew this wouldn't end the way he wanted it to. He knew when he had started to develop feelings for his captain that it would end badly. Polites had never been good at hiding his feelings. He knew that Odysseus would never love him the way that he loved him.

    The war was over. It ended when the city of Troy burned. Ten long years had passed. It felt longer and shorter than it really was. Polites hated watching Odysseus suffer. He knew he missed his wife and son.

    On the ship, the man paced around the deck. He wounded what to do about his feelings and how he would manage them. Telling the caption would result in the end of their friendship and that was so dear to him that he couldn't risk it.

    Odysseus was his best friend. He was more than just his best friend. Polites saw a different light than the rest. He couldn't help but love him. There was just something so, imperfectly perfect about him.

    When Odysseus had told him to come with him to the island to scout for food, he panicked slightly. But the two left regardless. It was dawn and the sky lingered with the colors of the sunrise. the light shown of Odysseus in a way that made Polites freeze.

    They walked around the island. They walked over a river using a tree that had fallen. There were willow trees and large clearings filled with flowers. But somehow Polites couldn't take his eyes off of Odysseus.

    Polites had started to talk to his captain. He told him about how greeting the world was a brave thing to do and how kindness could help them. He talked about how he knew he was suffering and how he didn't want him to do so in silence.

    Then they met the Lotas Eaters. Odysseus slowly got the message of kindness and faces them with words not violents. Polites was proud. He smiled as the Lotas Eaters told them about a cave that was east of them and how to get there. They thanked them and were in their way.

    The man hated how being in love with someone you could never have felt. Polites didn't hate much, but this, this he hated.

    The two stopped at a willow tree to rest. It seemed their conversation about greeting the work with open arms helped. Odysseus placed a birds nest that had fallen out of the tree back within the branches.

    "I love you" Polites whispered. He hadn't meant to say it out loud. He watched as Odysseus paused as he stood and how he turned around to face him.

    That was it. Of course he had to go and say something stupid. Of course he opened him mouth. Now he wouldn't have him at all. It was better to be friends then nothing. He didn't want to lose him.

    "What?" He asked.

    "I didn't, I didn't mean-"

    "Polites, I-"

    "Don't" Polites smiled softly. "I already know what you're going to say. I didn't mean to tell you. I'm sorry."

    Odysseus just stood there. He wasn't sure what to say. He turned around to make sure the bird's nest was safely in the tree. "I love you, just not how you want me to."

    "I'm fine with being friends. I didn't want to fall for you captain. It's like you tripped me" Polites chuckled. "I don't want to lose you."

    Odysseus turned around and walked  close to Polites. He stood not even a foot away. He looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

    "It's okay. It's good actually. I'm glad your wife has you. She deserves someone like you."

    "Polites" he looked away for a moment. This hadn't happened before. Ever. He had never had a man in love with him. Let alone his best friend.

    Polites pushed himself on his toes and grabbed Odysseus's cheeks. He pulled his head down a little and kissed him on the forehead. "Let's get back to the ship. The men are waiting."

    Then he walked away. Odysseus followed him. "Polites let's talk about this."

    "Captain there's nothing to talk about. I love you and knowing that you love me in some way is enough for me. I'm not asking you to love me back."

    "I know. I'm sorry."

    "For?" Odysseus stopped him.

    "For not loving you the way you desire, the way you deserve." He sighed. "Friends?"

    Polites smiled softly. It hurt more than he had thought. Nothing could have prepared him for his captain's reaction. He felt so bad for not loving him. He wasn't mad or disgusted. "Friends."

[overpoweredcacti]

CME S17E2 spoilers

It's about the "whispering scene" (if you know you know)

I have a theory about what it might mean and it might be a stupid coincidence but I'm really proud of myself for noticing it.

So, according to the closed captioning the first time Voit whispers:

Injure, Jean, Fear, dot, Z, Y, Q

Now mind you, closed captioning can be wrong, and I swear even with the subtitles I hear the Z as an X, but regardless, subtitling means we are supposed to be hearing something. Unlike with the second game of telephone by Voit which is not subtitled.

So anyway, this is gibberish, right? or at the very least code. So because I'm that kind of dumbass my first thought was hey! anagram! Here's the kicker.

Injure Jean Fear

is a perfect anagram of

JennIFer jareau

Could it be a coincidence? A misdirection? Faulty CC? All of the above? Absolutely.

Do I know what the rest of it means? Absolutely not.

My money's is ultimately on sleeper agents/Manchurian candidate type of storyline where people don't know they are involved until they are activated with certain words or expressions.

So that's it. It may be nothing, but if this turns out to be relevant I will be insufferable about it.

[lady-bess]

Feeling proud during pride 🏳‍🌈

*rips off the uncomfortably tight band-aid which has stopped me talking about this for far too long*

Ouch! *incomprehensible swearing*

Wow, that hurt. But now that the wound is exposed, it can heal. Right?

If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about - Hi, I'm Bess, and this June I came out to my mother and partner as gay.

The mentality of ripping off a band aid to get things out in the open has been the only metaphor I could accurately use to describe how this whole ordeal has felt.

But Bess... I hear you begin, You've had "bisexual" in your bio since you started on social media. What's different?

Dear reader, you're totally right! I have! So, sit back, relax, and let me tell you why this pride means so much more to me than it ever has. And, in doing so, I hope I can resonate with someone out there who might have been going through something similar. To show someone that you're not alone, no matter how much it might feel like it.

This Pride month started out the same as most for me. I'd scoff at all the big corporations slapping a rainbow on their logo to show solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, and people around me would wonder why I personally cared about what these businesses did, as someone who is in a long term relationship with someone of the opposite gender (because we see y'all Pink Washing, don't get it twisted..).

But deep down, I felt like this year things were going to be different. I had this looming sensation that my life was about to change, and it would be something to do with my sexuality.

A lot has changed this last year. I've had three different jobs, I've come off birth control, hit my mid-twenties, and I've been through a bought of cheeky depression. Any of my nearest and dearest friends could tell you that I've been three or four entirely different people this last year, but I feel I'm now finally at a point where the storm has quelled, the clouds have passed, and we are now travelling in much calmer waters. Like the version of me who has come out the other side of all these toils is who I'm meant to be.

And I owe it, to her, to be my true self.

Throughout all of these life changes though, one thing held me back. At every hurdle I've overcome this last year, I've constantly felt like there's another bigger fight waiting for me to face one day. And no matter what I do, it's coming, regardless. The older I've got, the harder it has become to keep it hidden. And that is how I feel about my sexual identity - the months and years of questioning myself, wondering "just how gay am I?" (which, spoiler alert, if you're having to ask yourself that question then you're probably a bit queer).

Because, even though I've been comfortably 'out' as bisexual to my friends since I was 14, this last year I've felt a shift. For the first time, I felt like my sexuality mattered. For the first time, I didn't want to hide who I was. It took me over a decade to get there, and I still haven't got it all figured out. But honestly? I no longer think that matters.

I haven't a clue if I'm still bi, pansexual, or a lesbian. Every time I think I might have figured it out, that I am a lesbian, I see a GIF of Pedro Pascal as Jack Daniels and it sends me into a frenzy (look, I'm still gonna be Jack's doting wife, even if I am being very raw and emotional right now. I have a brand to maintain, after all).

For now, I just choose to label myself as gay/queer as a blanket term, which I'm essentially using as a way for me to go, "look, I haven't got a f*cking clue, can we move on?".

I came out to my mother just over a week ago. I am so eternally grateful for that woman, because if I could have written the perfect reaction to accepting someone coming out, it would have been what she did. It makes me regret not telling her sooner. I openly admitted to her that I was scared to talk to her about it, that I worried how she'd react to it (for context, she has put a lot of time and resources into helping my partner and I with the house we currently live in. It would not be as nice as it is without her help over these last two years. I was petrified she'd be disappointed and see her contribution as a waste).

But to my genuine shock, she gave me a hug, and said, "I don't care who or what lives in this house. As long as you're happy, that doesn't matter to me".

I messaged my friend after I did it, saying how relieved I was, and that also, "I have my mum in my corner now. I'm quite literally unstoppable".

Now, I know that having a supportive parent puts me in a massively advantageous position with what comes next. I, unfortunately, know far too many queer people who don't have the same love and acceptance that I've received from my mother, and to anyone in that boat I am so sorry.

I'm sure, over time, there will be family members of mine that will cut me off for this. But I tried to make peace with it as best as I could - I had my mother's support, and that was all I decided mattered.

So, what's all this to say? What changes?

Well, a lot of stuff. My partner and I are in the process of separating. For as much as he doesn't want to accept the truth, it's there, and it's never been more of a pressing issue between us. There's no going back from it now - the wound is on show, and it wants to heal. We can't cover it back up.

But the main thing that changes, for me at least, is that for the first time in my life I'm so proud to be queer. That was something I never imagined being, and the fact that I am now makes me almost cry. I genuinely thought I'd go my whole life as a closeted bisexual, who never felt "gay enough" to label myself as queer; stuck in heteronormative relationships, always a bit envious of those brave enough to live their truth - the ones who I would pass in the streets, hand in hand with their girlfriends, and I'd hear a little voice in my head shouting, "I'm one of you! Accept me!".

But whatever I turn out to be, even if I never figure out exactly what label suits me the most, the fact that I'm out the closet publicly is like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

For the first time, I can see a future unfolding that I've only ever dreamt of - something I would fantasise about, but always grounding myself in the reality that it never would. The idyllic life I'd daydream about having, moving away somewhere remote with my wife and a couple of dogs, choosing to live a slower and more peaceful existence.

For the first time, I've been openly queer in the workplace. A few of my coworkers picked up that things weren't right with me one morning, and I spilled the beans. Because, for as necessary as this split with my partner is, that doesn't make it easy. We've been together almost half a decade - even though I don't love him like he needs me to, it's not to say that I don't still care a great deal for him.

For the first time, I'm supported in a way I could have only dreamed of.

To anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, however you identify, you are safe with me 🏳‍🌈 My inbox is always open 💕

And to all my friends who have seen me through this period of change in my life - I can never thank you enough. Getting my family's support was one of my biggest accomplishments, but I will never forget the friends who were fighting in my corner from day one. The ones who comforted me when I felt like I wasn't enough - the ones who sympathised with what I've been through this last year - the ones who held my hand and told me it would all work out.

I love each and every one of you ❤

If you're going through anything similar, the one thing I'd always tell myself was this; "It'll all work out okay in the end. And if it's not okay, then it's not the end".

Happy pride, however you identify. Stay safe, and much love to you all.

LadyBess xoxo

[kwillow]

Ambroys basking in his cache of gifts and sweet words from secret admirers. Gotta be careful, though. If his ego is inflated any more, he'll pop.

(I wanted to doodle something to accompany a post answering some messages regarding this candy-colored cad but got a bit carried away. :P Well regardless, asks under the cut!)

Why thank you! He would drunkenly insult people, though he tends to be more passive-aggressive and backhanded rather than outright insulting - well, most of the time, anyway. He thinks he's a lot more subtle in his derogatory comments than he actually is.

Aaaw, this is too sweet!

Older Ambroys is much more reserved about seeking and accepting physical affection than his younger self, for myriad reasons (that one day I will expound upon in more detail, fate willing). He still enjoys it, though.

He's still proud of the stars on his cheeks and the gold in his hair and all that, but the signs of age are something he is not at peace with. For some, like the wrinkles, they're a sign that his time on this earth is finite - and death terrifies him. For others, like his paunch, it's more just embarrassing to him in a more mundane and vain "I was voted Prom King in high school and I was on the Varsity track team now look at me I'm an old man boo hoo hoo" type of way (though he's actually more physically adept in his older age than he was when he was younger for Magical Heritage Bullshit reasons, the sentiment remains).

As for your question, it's totally fine with me for Ambroys to be portrayed as non-heterosexual in fanfic or fanart or one's secret imaginings. Even though all of his "canon" love interests are women, I wouldn't rule out of the possibility of him developing affections for someone who isn't a woman. Chase your bliss!

Haha well both furry and aasimar Ambroys would bask in the attention, though poor aasimar Ambroys' jealousy is not going to be helped!

No shame on being a furry though. I didn't consider myself one either but I feel like it's harder to make the argument that I'm not given the sheer number of ponies I've drawn by now...

He would accept this, so long as you don't mess up his hair.

He would say: "good!" I would say "don't waste your life on him!"

Oh he would be pleased to be so distracting, I'm sure.

And sometimes we can't help but to have a type... I know I seem to have a thing for rich effete douchebags with buck teeth and big pointy noses... not quite sure what's up with that.

Yessss... yesssssssss... or perhaps I should say "I'm sorry."

I didn't mean to make him this way... I guess I underestimated the power of a brushable mane.

Ambroys DOES like being worshipped (way too much and way too literally, as you might be able to tell) but he wants to have his imperfections hidden if he can!

He's just horribly, horribly vain and unwilling to let go of his youth... even though he got to enjoy being youthful for three times as long as a mortal would.

YES that song is on his playlist (which I have for all my main characters because I'm a dork). It's just too perfect. One of the many ideas on my miles-long to do list has to do with depicting a scene from that song. The trouble is that it has to do with dancing, and boy am I not very good at drawing dancing poses. xD Oh well, gotta try for the boy!

Heh well I think we could agree that a normal horse probably couldn't pull off the breeches he wears quite so well... I'm flattered that you think of him when you see horsies in the flesh! Huzzah, I've ruined one of the Earth's beautiful creatures for you! >:)

Oh wow, my guy is stepping out of my brain and into other people's subconsciouses... I need to put a leash on him. :P But this was a fun read!

It's very in character Ambroys to try to undercut a rival's self-esteem by framing it as something OTHER people say, but oh no, he'd NEVER say something like that, of course. Mean girl behavior. He does have friends that don't actually like him - and he doesn't like them either. But one needs to have friends for appearance's sake - just one more accessory, really!

OKAY, I think that's everything! Or at least enough for this post, ahah.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words on my not-so-kind character.

Unlike him, I'm really humbled and grateful by the positive reception he's received. I deeply appreciate your kind messages... even when it takes me eons to reply to them, gah.