#it's not a slight it's always for valid reasons to be clear

[smolvenger]

The Ceremony (Loki x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: You and your dear prince, Loki of Asgard, are finally getting married. But in order for the marriage to be legitimate, your wedding night and consummation must be witnessed...

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: 18+ SMUT Y'ALL ! SMUT! SMUT IN THE LAST THIRD! Voyeurism, loss of virginity, fem receiving oral, p in v sex, dirty talk, loss of innocence kink and some possessiveness kink. But lots of fluff, especially romantic, wedding fluff. Loki is a good protective fiancee/husband. I did wee research on Norse weddings but it's not about the accuracy, it's about the vibes.

A/N: This was written especially for @lokisprettygirl/ @lokisprettygirl22 (if I tag the wrong person, I apologize!) Follower Count Celebration as a submission! Wanted to try something I always wanted to write and get a new piece out there! Enjoy!

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over (with one small bit inspired by the weddings headcanons! :) ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

“The Wedding Night must be witnessed by the court in order for the marriage to be valid,” Heimdall announced.

There was a silence over the table where all of you sat. Your jaw dropped and the look on the face of your intended prince Loki, became pure white. The other faces at the table all remained composed. Though Thor looked down a little, blushing.

Your dear Prince Loki asked you to marry him in his mother’s garden. You kissed him and said yes as you both cried happy tears and embraced. You were not born to royalty like he. You understood that there were certain parts of etiquette that had to be upheld. Traditions that would be honored. And everything you learned so far made sense and didn’t seem too bad or out of place. Bow to the AllFather as king. Use “please” and “thank you.” Watch your words. Show respect to the Allmother Frigga. All of that was common sense.

But this…this was different.

You had never lain with a man before. You and Loki shared heated kisses and embraces, but they were always interrupted before it could go further. Sif would walk in and clear her throat. Frigga would call to talk to her son. And then hearing on the insistence of a future princess being chaste, you thought it was pure dumb luck. After the engagement, both of you agreed to wait. So, there would be absolutely no reason for anyone to object to the marriage.

But the times you imagined what your first time would be like, you never imagined it being watched by others!

“There are…ways around it, but it is how it is done…and Y/N, your parents assured us you are…untouched, yes?” Heimdall asked, despite the slight embarrassment in his tone.

“Yes…yes I am,” you confirmed.

Loki glanced at you, then he stretched out a hand to hold yours on the table.

“We…we don’t have to do it. No one should force Y/N to do it!” he argued.

“First, we must guarantee a possible heir should Thor never have one.”

Thor flared his nostrils.

“Second and more important, we need certainty of the marriage’s consummation. It could risk annulment if not-then you both will not even be considered married.”

Loki moved his chair to be closer to you and wrapped a protective arm around you. You could feel him tighten up. Like he was going to whip out his daggers and fight Heimdall there and then.

“Could I have a say in this? A choice?” you voiced out.

The idea….of people all watching then turned in your head. It was a little nerve wracking. But something else was stirring inside you. Finally making love to the most desirable man in the nine realms as people watched became suddenly…titillating. You felt your lower innards already begin to anticipate it. It was no longer dread…it was excitement.

Loki gripped your hand and arm. Both of you shared a look and then you stared out at them. Faces all turned to you. Odin was quiet and crossed his arms. Frigga only folded her hands, but her eyes were soft. Her mouth half-open as if to speak, yet she didn’t. Thor’s eyes became giant, blue plates on his face, and he listened with intensity. Now they had to listen to you- their future princess.

“I say…we should do it. We will have the bedding ceremony. It’s tradition and might as well follow it. And that way, no one will question Loki being my husband, as he is in my heart already,” you announced.

Loki relaxed- you felt the muscles from his arm and the hold on his hand soften. He even blinked rapidly and began a slow smile.

“I have my consent for the bedding ceremony,” you announced.

Loki looked at them with a nod.

“If she is fine by it, then so am I.” he agreed.

Done and done. Heimdall nodded with a small smile-it was settled with only a minor conflict. The table then moved on to discuss other things about the wedding. One minute you were discussing the consummation, and next there was discussion of what color the bridesmaids would wear, and which roast meat to serve at the feast! When they got up and left, Loki practically pulled you aside. He touched your shoulders, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Y/N. Let me know. You don’t have to please them-you don’t have to let them force you to do anything you don’t want to. Please tell me- you can always tell me your secrets, darling. Y/N- are fine with the consummation ceremony?”

“Why do you ask?” you pressed.

Loki cupped your cheek with both hands. His voice grew intense.

“I swore to you to defend you. And this includes my own palace- I won’t let any of them humiliate you! I’ll kill them if they do!” he declared.

You leaned into his touch, kissing his hand. You gave him a smile. You reached up to touch his hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“Loki…I…I am fine by it. I am…you need not worry. I think it will be nerve wracking, yes. I am not out of my wits to admit it. But it’s also…tantalizing.  I like the idea of people watching us when we do it,” you replied.

You heard him let out a long exhale. Then he wrapped his arms around you to keep you close. You both looked up at each other. You could sense the adoration in his eyes. He was protective-because he cared about you. And that made you even prouder to call him yours.

“My dear lady…and soon my wife…if this is not under any pressure, and your decision…then it is yours and ours,” he said.

You gave him a kiss on the cheek. He flashed a smile that could make Jotun itself melt.

“Then…only a week?” you asked.

“Only a week.” He confirmed.

“But Loki, when I lie with you the first time…Will it hurt?”

He smiles.

“Maybe not…unless you beg me to hurt you…”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Seven days flew by. Before you knew it, the wedding arrived.

It was a beautiful, opulent wedding. Flowers decorated the place in every corner. There was going to be an altar, or a hörgr, placed on the throne room on a table. Even that was decorated. There were green ribbons tied around each column and table. After all, you were still marrying a prince! The guests were all bedecked in their finest clothes. Long silk gowns and velvet draping the floors. To make sure there was no doubt that this was a royal wedding.

      Your bridesmaids did their best to calm you in the other room before it began. One squeezed your hand. The other smoothed out the skirt of your dress. Assuring you it would be alright.

It made your mind wander. You were about to lie with Prince Loki for the first time in front of others. It made your heartbeat faster. But no... that was for later. Now you only had to stand by at an altar and make vows before the AllFather. That was all. Nothing complicated.

“I heard that prince Loki himself is nervous! Pacing about the halls in his cape! All because he wants to be good for you! He’s the same as you are now!” one gossiped.

“Really?” you asked.

“Yes, really! Everyone gets nervous on their wedding day, Y/N!”

You did notice a little crumb on your dress from when all of you had snacks of bread, cheese, and grapes to keep you satiated before the meal. You laughed and wiped it off.

Your own gown was a white one- to represent innocence. Virtue. Though now that you were about to become a princess it sparkled everywhere in the long, full skirt. It was as if you were made of diamonds. But there was a touch of sensuality to it. The sleeves fell off your shoulders and revealed your neckline and collarbones. You had to smile at the big of cleavage it did show. To give Loki especially what he had to look forward to. Tonight, and all his nights.

Then it was announced for the marriage ceremony to begin. Your own parents went over to stand by you to give you away. to stand in the front row. To see you, their dear little girl, on her big day.

Servants held out lit candles for everyone. Thor's own seemed tiny in his big hands. Only Loki and Heimdall, who was performing the ceremony, did not hold any. Loki, bedecked in his armor, a smaller version of his helmet (he was worried if he kissed you, the larger helmet would knock down and whack you on the head before everyone watching), and green cape, turned to Thor.

"Brother, do not fret. I'll do the fretting for you!" Thor assured like a puppy wagging its tail. Thor couldn’t whisper if he tried, but his tone of voice was soft.

"How do I look?" Loki asked, rechecking to make sure his armor was clean for the hundredth time.

"Like a groom!” Thor assured him.

"Good..."

Thor patted a large hand on his shoulder. Then at the presence of so many flowers, the god of thunder sneezed a sneeze that could rattle bones into his arm.

      The guests all took their places, standing around the great throne room. They began to murmur like an audience to a new play. Then a few lutes, woodwinds, and a harp began playing. It was finally time.

Down went wedding party. Walking slowly to savor the occasion. They stood in their places before the altar. The guests all smiled brightly.

But none as much as Loki when you walked out.

  You walked down. You wore a veil over your face and saw it through that filter of white. But thin enough you could distinguish everything. It glittered like snow in the moonlight. You sensed that the guests smiled at you.  Your mother and father escorted you down there. You saw the court shifting their faces. Just to get a glimpse of you walking by.

 But you saw Loki at the altar through it. And feelings overflowed your chest to see him.  Despite the trembling in his hands, when you walked out, he instantly relaxed. Both of you locked eyes. You saw a small ghost of a laugh that made his shoulders drop. The gold among his green and black robes seemed to glow even more.

You noticed Thor in his long, red cape and silver breastplate next to his brother. Odin in his own armor and Frigga with her hair done up and standing bedecked in a gold dress and an elaborate necklace beaming at you. Odin looked a little bored, but what did you care? You were marrying the love of your life! You would deal with your father-in-law’s nonsense later.  

As you approached it, you handed your bouquet of flowers to a bridesmaid. Loki was standing taller when you got closer. His cheeks were red. You felt him warm up as you approached him. Then he took the veil and, with his powerful hands, lifted it from your face.

      All the eyes were on you and your own bread was curdling in your stomach. But as you looked into his eyes, you felt it was all worth it. You had never seen Loki beam so happily in ages. Your father gave you a kiss on the forehead from over the veil.  He placed your hand on Loki's. He then looked at the prince. Loki gave your father a wink and then both of you turned to face Heimdall.

You felt the god’s fingers between yours as he held it. You were entering this union together. IT was all you felt. It was like the world was just a buzz. The ringing of bells heard only in the distance. You turned your head to admire his handsome profile, and he looked back at you. For only a second, it was as if the two of you were alone in the realm. Then with an exhale, you both turned towards the altar.

"Dear people of Asgard, we are here to witness the matrimonial rite of Prince Loki, God of Mischief and Y/N. Now-make your vows to each other,” Heimdall intoned with his own powerful baritone, he raised a hand.

You both turned to each other, holding hands before the altar. Loki looked at you with his beautiful, blue eyes, and though they were wedding vows, they seemed to come naturally as if they were words just appearing in his mouth.

"I, Loki, do swear before the AllFather and AllMother, take you to be my wife, my friend, my lover, and my companion. From this day until only death parts us. Before our family and friends, I pledge you my fidelity, refusing all others as long as we live. My softest words and tenderest embraces. The protection of my crown, my magic, my sword, and my body. In battle and in peace. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. I shall respect and love you boundlessly, no matter what may happen to me or what you may do. I shall support and cherish you each morning, day and night.  From this hour, as long as we both live."

The words from him sounded so lovely, you felt a small tear in the corner of your eye. But your smile never dropped.

With a steady voice, you said your own vows back at him. There was an exchange of swords between your families and Loki’s-to symbolize the protection you would give each other. Heimdall’s then brought two rings, conjured by magic. You each slipped a ring on the finger of the other. Perfectly fitting gold bands, golden as his helmet, as light, as warmth. Both of you peeked down at the pretty bands and how they matched each other. For both of you knew, two souls so in love they merged and melded as one.

“AllFather and AllMother, protect and bless them, guide them in their new union…” all began to pray.

There were a few final prayers and a hymn. Incense was lit in honor of Freya, the goddess of love, along with an offer of flowers. Then Heimdall turned you both to face the palace. Heimdall was a serious man, but you heard his voice declaring with joy from behind you.

      "The AllFather and Allmother Now, before all the gods, the people of Asgard, and -I now declare you both-Prince and Princess of Asgard. Husband and wife. Now...seal your vows with a kiss before all."

Loki turned his face to you.  You felt his hands go to your waist pulling you closer. He kissed you there in front of everyone. You felt his tongue push forward. and you let a small sound at the feeling of it. Definitely a more sensual kiss than the normal chaste pecks he would give you in his family’s presence. You could taste cinnamon on his tongue and feel the slight brush of his long eyelashes against your face from how close he was. Then he let go. 

Everyone raised their candles and cried "All praise the AllFather and Allmother. The Prince and Princess of Asgard!"

Then they blew out their candles and applauded. You and Loki held hands as music soared. Both of you walked arm in arm. Glancing at each other like excited children and then each other. Flowers petals were even thrown in your direction as you both made you way down there. Down to the feast.

 The meal was brief. At least, it felt brief for you. Talking and attending to so many people who came over to wish you both congratulations. Loki even made a toast, calling himself the luckiest man in the nine realms to be yours. There was more food than you could name. You enjoyed the foods served that you loved. Loki insisted that you have a break from talking to guests to eat your own food at your own wedding. You ate until you were full, but not surplus to where you would get sick. Good night, if you had to have your wedding night before witnesses, you were not going to vomit.

But the time was passing. Loki looked over at you. He noticed a servant take away your plate.

“My love…are you ready now….for the…the other ceremony?” he asked.

Your heart picked as if you were running, though you sat still. Then you nodded. You brought his hands to yours and kissed it.

“Yes, husband, I am,” you assured him.

Loki looked at Heimdall. He rose and all the happy chatter from the meal fell silent.  

“Now…it is time for the bedding ceremony…” Heimdall announced.

You were led into two separate chambers. Your bridesmaids dressed you out of your gown into a white robe. It was made of lace that was so light on your skin, it was a little cold. But it was beautiful, and you touched the pattern of the fabric of your sleeves to feel it. They escorted you out through the halls. You felt your blood course through you, but you did your best to put on a brace face. But there was some stifled and suppressed giggling from all of them- even you out of your own mixed excitement and nervousness.

You were led back out to the throne room. Now there were torches alight, but it was still dark. The night’s darkness had shone and spread her ink through, and one needed a lit candle to get around. There was a crowd of courtiers, all of whom were wedding guests. But most striking of all- a bed was moved to be there in that room.

It was a canopy bed with light, white drapes. enough room for the two of you to sleep-or rather, to not sleep. Thin as a summer breeze and just as delicate.  Right before the altar and there, the two thrones. The bed itself was surrounded by flowers around it, lovely white roses and a few green ones, complimenting the green sheets and green pillows. Such a bed could only be conjured there by magic, created by magic.

Loki was then given to you. He had his own silk green robe on. His raven curls dangled over his shoulders. You saw a peek of his delicious chest from the V of the robe and licked your lips. He walked up to you. He wrapped his arms in an embrace and then whispered into your ear.

“Are you ready, my dove? Are you ready?” he repeated.

“Yes…yes I am,” you answered.

There were the musicians- the harps, woodwinds, and you heard drums too. They began to play from the corner. The court gathered more lit candles-it was dark. But with music, the candles, the flowers, and the pretty bed, it did make it…romantic, oddly. It could be much worse. Much worse would be a rough, awkward tumbling before your parents.

Loki cupped your face. He looked at you- raw without all your finery. Seeing every bit of you. His eyes did have lust as they wandered to the skin that peeked from your lace, but there was more…he was quiet. His thumb traced over your lips.

“What is it?” you asked him,

You’re so…so…beautiful…so wonderful…” he murmured.

He gave you a kiss on the forehead. Then He then turned to all of them. He raised his arms out, a signature gesture with that smile that oozed charm and mischief. Such a man. No wonder it was easy to love him. And easier to marry him. Now you only had to lie with him and now that seemed easiest of all. His own voice made desire soak through you and you felt your legs squirm, a wetness growing between you as he said the words.

“Now, all of you wish to watch? Then watch. Witness just how much I love this woman. I adore her. I want her. And now that she is my wife, see how much love and pleasure I can give her in one moment…” He boasted.

He returned to you and began to kiss you. But deeper. It was a loud, wet kiss with more tongue. You could taste the feast on him, his breath. He groaned and he kept doing it, his hands wandering up your back, feeling how only one layer separated your skin from his. He removed his lips and voiced.

“And now…now your innocence is mine too…”

He pressed against you. You felt your own body against him, naturally. His hands went down to the tie of your robe. You began to take shallow breaths, your chest heaving. Loki’s eyes fluttered to see just some of how it moved with your breasts and his smile grew devilish. He only took one step away.

“All of this tucked away from me…not anymore now…let me take you in, my dear…”

He pulled on the knot once and it was undone. He then put his hands to your shoulders and gently slid the robe off. Dramatically revealing your shoulders, your breasts, your stomach. It pooled down to your feet in a puddle of lace, revealing all of you before the court.

The eyes were watching each inch of your skin. You raise an arm to cover yourself out of habit, feeling naked on the inside as well as the outside, but Loki gently removed your arms, smiling over your breasts, stomach, hips.

“You’re exquisite, Y/N…the softness…your shape…everything. And now they all will see you…and they’ll kneel before you as they do to me, it’s only what you deserve, my little princess. Let them see you…let me see you,” he whispered.

With a sigh he kissed you again, pressing his tongue further. He put his hands behind your head. You felt him get hard beneath the thin layer of his emerald silk robe. You wrapped your arms around him, you felt yourself moaning. You were pooling more to where you wondered if a bit of your desire would creep down your thigh. You felt their eyes on you-not in judgement. Maybe like Loki said- in appreciation. Seeing you as a piece of art to be admired. Seeing you as Loki saw you. A goddess in your own right, your own way.

He then picked you up- wrapping his arms around you and you put your legs around him. You let out a little gasp and he only chuckled lightly at you. You felt your own folds opening right before his body and you shuddered, and he did too- that most delicate, private part of you now felt against him. Made public. But in a display that was more for him than for them.

He then set you down onto the bed. Positioned to where you were lying down.

“I can’t believe you’re my husband now…that I’m married to a god…” you said softly to him.

He spread your legs with his long, beautiful hands. You peeked and discovered his own cock was getting hard under his robe.

“I may be a god, but I can show you what it is to be worshipped-my hands, tongue, and cock are your acolytes now…” he replied.

He began to untie his own robe to give him freedom.

“And they make offerings, like this…”

He dove onto the bed. He lifted your legs and plunged his tongue inside your entrance. You felt him lick up your walls-gently exploring.  The feeling of him tasting, sucking on each small bit of you. You begin to gasp and moan.  The crowd whispered lightly.

“L-Loki….it…it feels so good…where…keep…yes-oh!” you began to moan as he tasted you.

 You felt his nose and his breath there, cold against your wet pussy. He gave a peck to each part as he climbed up. Up to where the most precious bud of all was found. He began to lick your clit, slowly. But you felt a tingle all around you. You let out another moan for not only the throne room but for the whole palace to see.

“Oh! Norns-yes…please!” you voiced.

You tried to reach your hands down to feel hm, his hair, his shoulders. To never lose touch of your husband. He paused. You could feel him smile against your opening-his own altar.

“Yes-I want you- let them. Let all of them know who it is who gives you pleasure. Let them all know who it is who you belong to now. Let them all know, and anyone who tries to spoil my marriage, that no man can fuck you like I can…no man can pleasure you like me…”

You let out another moan in response. You could feel the eyes of the crowd widening. Maybe they too were a little aroused by this display. This was a ceremony- sacred and necessary. But this time it was…different. Your own pleasure was there at the center. You made another sound that would have made the AllMother herself blush. Loki’s voice rumbled through your body.

He removed his mouth. He then moved to stand up on the floor, towering over you.

You felt as if you were staring to fly when he tasted you, but you never left the ground. But you had no wings that were open. You had your legs.

He then finally undid the knot of his robe. You realized how wet you were. You ached for him. You were writhing, sighing out. You still felt your folds dripping both with desire and the teasing of his tongue.

“Loki…please….I ache for you-I want you, I’m so ready for you-fuck me into this bed and make me yours!” you mewled.

He smirked. He let his robe fall free of the knot.

“A beautiful little innocent begging for me….hm, I have both in one. A princess and a concubine. How lucy am I… How would that beautiful voice scream when I thrust inside her…”

You ached for release. You felt a throbbing inside you. How long would this take? Would you have to touch yourself before he was done?

“Here…take me…take your husband…make me-one with you. Continue this ceremony! You begged.

There were prayers given up by the crowd. Soft but present.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

There was no denial that Loki himself was a god from his body. Out came his chest-perfectly chiseled pecs and abdominals. Strong biceps and broad shoulders contrasting and complimenting his deliciously small waist. A trail of dark hair leading down to where his hard cock was against his stomach. It was leaking already-he wanted you as much as you wanted him. Maybe more.

With another devilish smile, he then leaned down and got on the bed.

“Now are you ready, sweet little dove, to take me-your god, your husband- are you ready to be my wife?”

You nodded with a whimper.

He crawled on top of you, taking a look over your body. Beautiful and all for him for the rest of his days. And norns, he was going to take care of it. He kept your legs open, then began to sheath himself inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace,” chanted the crowd.

Finally, finally he first entered inside. There was only a little pain-but you let out a shout.

“Oh! Oh-you’re! You’re so…so big! I’m so full!” you cried wantonly.

You could hear the smile in his voice.

“A large cock and a beautiful wife…what more could I want now? Yes- cry out. Tell them how much you love this cock. How much pleasure it gives you, my dear…”

He began to thrust into you. His hips snapping slowly. You were letting out gasps-it felt so good. Better than you could have imagined. You were getting dizzy. You squeezed your eyes shut except to see him. To enjoy the feeling. Each thrust to your insides, to your womb was natural. How he fits you as perfectly as the rings around your finger. A small hymn was being sung by the crowd as the music played. Gentle as a lullaby but instead was not an offering of your virginity to a god of both mischief and desire. But the volume was   matched by your whore-like moans and the grunts of Loki on top of you.

The volume of the song increased. So did his pace.

He picked it up. He lifted your leg to be on top of his shoulder. You could practically hear your skin colliding each time. He began to slam you into the bed. It seemed the altar nearby and each candle was shaking from the power of his thrusts.

“Oh! Oh-my-oh-gods, husband! You’re-oh!” you started to cry.

“Yes…yes bit by bit…I’ll-nrgh-claim you-norns-yes, here on this bed…. Have them-damn-have them all watch-yes-watch you become a wife-gods-watch me -yes-that good little princess, good little wife, good little whore, too-norns-here-taking me-taking me well-“

He then placed you to lean against the tall headboard of the bed. So you sat up, slid you up.

“Darling, uhm-what is-“you could voice.

He wrapped your arms against your waist and hit you deeper. And a finger went down to your bud, and you let out another cry.

You felt the bed shake-you heard the flowers shake with you, petals dropping. The singing and praying and music continued, already overwhelming you with the pleasure of your husband’s cock. And all of them watching you become awakened to the joys of the bedroom before all of them. For them to know how much you both loved each other. And with a gasping kiss, he began to fuck you harder, deeper.

“The-the-the beds! It’s going to-to-to break!” you fretted between each deep, fast thrust. You held onto his chest and kept him close.

“Let it break! Let it! Gods-yes, my little wife-fuck! Giving me everything-norns, gods…”

You were gasping, writhing beneath his touch, feeling it all as he pounded. He was repeating your name, his own hymn in his straining voice.

“My wife, now mine, finally mine-hela-every way mine-should-should have you on the throne too-yes-have you on my cock there, have them watch that too-nrgh!” he grunted with each movement.

And you felt something spinning inside you. You were not going to last. It was all overwhelming you. Sweet overstimulation. The drums were beating, it seemed hard, and his thrusts were getting harder. The harps played and you couldn’t make out the words of the hymn.

He was going at it. Rutting at you-showing both the grace of a prince and the power of a lover. Something was bubbling. Like the wings but about to take flight. You were starting to shake inside. It was growing, growing, you were reaching it, reaching the top. You clutched onto him as you were shaking, practically bouncing on it, the moving bed.

“Loki…I think…Loki I think-I think-I thinkIthink-I’m going to…I’m going to…”

“Then cum, princess-cum for your husband-for them-or-would you-nrg-rather I stop-stop letting you enjoy this!” he hissed out.

“N-no! Please! Please don’t stop! Please! Please-don’t stop! Don’t stop don’tstopdon’tstopdontstopson’tstop-“ you were begging.

He was pounding into you at a faster rate than you thought. He fingered your clip, circles matching the speed of his cock.  He gave began to repeat your name. Like a growl, and then his voice increasing in volume. You were spinning, thrown out of control, bursting up, and up

“My-My prince! I-“

You felt something in you-then you let out a last voice into a scream.

You felt it burst on you. Your first climax. You felt him give another quick thrust and he came too with a cry. Then he held you, his thrusting slowed. You nestled into him. Your pussy was shaking and quivering harder than you thought it possible.

As the witnesses all watched-the members of the court. Feeling this spectacle. Right here in this bedroom. There was a last verse of the hymn. Then a final repetition of the prayer as you felt his seed spurt inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

Loki then looked up. You brushed his black locks to see his lovely face. He was all flushed, full of bliss. Enjoying the high as you were. You could feel the coolness of his sweat and his own body heaving as he caught his own breath. He pulled out but remained close to you. He whispered into your ears.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m…I’m okay,” you replied.

He pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I’m glad. For this…for you…”

You pressed back. You closed your eyes and smiled.

He went back to the group. He offered you the blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders. Warm and safe.

“Give us some water-a rag! Bring us our robes!” he ordered.

He kissed your forehead and held you close.

“You…You were wonderful, sweet Y/N…that was incredible-you did well…” he said.

The robes were returned and there was a wet rag. He cleaned you both up from between both legs. After putting your robes back on, he looked at them.

“I’d like us both to retire, please. Now. She needs some rest after today-and so do I.”

As you walked out, you both still locked hands-anchoring each other. Finally, you were both alone in his chambers. Once the heavy door was shut and you were surrounded by his favorite dark green walls, you both sighed.

He led you to sit down on the rug and made the fireplace start a pretty flame by just flicking his wrist. He brought a thick blanket wrap around the both of you.

“Here…let’s have our own little celebration-just us…wine?”

“I’d love some wine,” you agreed.

He then used his seidr and conjured two glasses of a dark, garnet colored wine. He gave you a smile.

“Here…let’s have a toast…”

He chinked your glasses.

“To the Princess of Asgard….my wife. And the start of our lives together…”

[svnoohe4rts]

MY DEAR ANNOYING SEATMATE ― lee heeseung

↳ PAIRING: lee heeseung x fembodied!reader

↳ SYNOPSIS: there was only a few things you hated in life, but your dear seatmate lee heeseung was most definitely one of the few things you absolutely despised. with the two of you being paired up for an upcoming project, it seemed like life possibly couldn’t get any worse; so why did he suddenly almost look cute?

↳ GENRE: enemies to lovers (kind of but not really, reader hates heeseung for no valid reason while heeseung is just clueless)

↳ WORD COUNT: 17.1k

↳ WARNINGS: slight angst, SMUT ! MDNI . | oral (m recieving), cum eating, heeseung is extremely inexperienced while reader is experienced (let me know if there’s anything i should add !)

↳ A/N: i got too carried away writing this, making this my longest fic ever ... i blame it on nerd!hee :’) proof read but there’s probably a few mistakes i’ve missed, don’t be afraid to point them out !!! all feedback is appreciated ! <3 

YOU HATED LEE HEESEUNG.

The boy assigned to the seat next to you had never necessarily done anything for you to hate him. Thinking about it, there was nothing he possibly could’ve done, considering that he usually kept to himself most of the time and had probably only uttered about two or three words to you during your time as seatmates.

But one thing was for sure, you absolutely despised him.

You hated the way he’d slide his hideous glasses up the bridge of his nose, you hated the way he’d repeatedly tap the end of his pencil against his desk, especially during math, when he’d concentrate a little too hard, but most of all, you hated how he’d interrupt the teacher whenever he felt the need to add something to whatever the teacher was talking about; usually something completely irrelevant.

If there was one thing you wished for, it was for Lee Heeseung to keep to himself during class the same way he kept to himself outside of class.

But your wishes were never fulfilled, and they most likely would never be; Heeseung being the prime example of why the fairy godmother from Cinderella didn’t actually exist like you thought when you were younger, otherwise Heeseung probably would’ve lost his ability to speak by now. What Heeseung also failed to comprehend was that whenever he embarrassed himself by raising in hand in the middle of class just to boast about his knowledge, he also embarrassed you.

When all eyes landed on him, they also landed on you. So whenever the entire class would roll their eyes at Heeseung when he once again went completely going off topic, they were technically rolling their eyes at you, too. 

Like a pending doom, you wanted to sink through the ground every time he opened his mouth. You knew the second he cleared his throat and his hand went up in the air that it was your cue to press your forehead against the wooden desk, a desperate attempt to avoid the stares and sigh’s coming from your fellow classmates as Heeseung’s aggravating voice echoed through your ears.

For that very reason, you grew to hate Lee Heeseung more and more with each day that passed.

Over time, the annoyance of him always having something to say grew into you finding everything he did annoying. What started off as you two being innocently placed as seatmates, developed into you dreading going to class because of him.

Today, however, you swore you hated Heeseung more than ever.

If the universe had been on your side, Heeseung never would’ve ended up in the seat next to you for an entire year. You wouldn’t have to listen to his pencil hitting the table over and over again every single day, you wouldn’t have to listen to his annoying voice, no, this wasn’t the life you were supposed to live. You weren’t supposed to be seated next to the most annoying human being the world had ever seen, life had so much to offer you, you had so many things left to do before your life came to an end; yet the universe seemed to want you dead sooner than you had expected by making Lee Heeseung your assigned seatmate.

Your cause of death wouldn’t be of old age like you had hoped, nor would some cold-hearted illness take your life away, no, Lee Heeseung would be your cause of death; you were sure of it.

And just when you thought the universe might’ve toyed enough with you, the words trailing off your teacher's lips proved you wrong. ‘’Y/N, I think you and Heeseung would make a great pair for this project,’’

You had stopped listening to what the older woman was telling you the second your name accompanied by your dear seatmates name trailed off her lips. Almost like your whole world came crumbling down around you, you shut your eyes; nibbling on your bottom lip as you looked back on your entire life - trying to figure out what you possibly had done to deserve this type of punishment. 

Maybe this was the universe’s way of getting back at you for forgetting to hand in that one group project on time, causing the whole group to get in trouble; or maybe it was the universe getting back at you for not helping that one crying kid that one time while running to the bus after school, but what were you supposed to do? Stay with the clearly upset kid and miss your only bus? 

No, you obviously did what anyone else would’ve done in that situation and got on the bus.

Well, maybe it wasn’t the only bus and you probably would’ve made it on that bus even if you checked on the crying kid; but was this type of punishment really necessary? Wasn’t placing Lee Heeseung in the seat next to you enough? You already suffered thanks to the boy seated next to you every day, you had already begged the universe for forgiveness for that one time - so why were you being paired up with Heeseung for one of the most important projects of the year?

‘’Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge surrounding this subject, and your essay about it last year was astonishing Y/N,’’ The older woman's voice brought you out of your daze, hoping that the universe would’ve heard the prayers that ran through your mind by the time you opened your eyes; but with Heeseung still sitting across from you, his big eyes piercing into your soul, you realized that the universe wasn’t going to forgive you anytime soon.

You should’ve known what was about to come when your teacher told both you and Heeseung to stay behind after class, asking both of you to sit down in front of her desk. At first, you thought she was going to scold you for sending death glares Heeseung’s way every time he opened his mouth, or even better - maybe she was going to scold Heeseung, you never would’ve sent him death glares if he never opened his mouth in the first place after all.

You were mentally preparing yourself to blame everything on Heeseung the second your teacher sat down in her chair, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your bag as your teacher cleared her throat. I’m sorry for my behavior, teacher, but he’s making it hard for me to focus when he’s constantly talking and I’m sure everyone else feels the same way hence why I feel like it’s my responsibility as his seatmate to make sure he’s not disturbing any-

‘’I’m sure you’re both aware of the upcoming project.’’

Oh. 

She wasn’t going to scold you, no, this was about something completely different. Something so much more terrifying.

With your teacher still explaining to you why you and Heeseung would make such an incredible pair for this particular project, you inhaled through your nose before clearing your throat, your gaze shifting over to the older woman sitting in front of you; flashing her a forced smile. 

‘’I’m sorry, miss, but is working in pairs really necessary? I mean, just like you said, Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge about this particular subject,’’ You began speaking, almost gagging as you unwillingly complimented Heeseung. ‘’And I don’t mean to flatter myself, but I have some decent knowledge about it as well, so I don’t really see why it would be necessary for us to work together.’’

You stared at your teacher in anticipation as you finished speaking, holding your breath as you waited for her to speak. 

It was true, you truly didn’t understand why you would have to work with him. You knew you’d be able to do this project on your own and you knew Heeseung was perfectly capable of doing it on his own as well, so you two working together just didn’t make any sense to you.

‘’I understand where you’re coming from and I’m not doubting your knowledge, Y/N,’’ Your teacher let out, offering you a small smile in return. ‘’But I truly believe both of you could benefit from working together.’’

It felt like someone had punched you in the stomach as soon as the words left her lips. You, benifiting from working with Heeseung? No, there was no such thing. Your forced smile slowly faded away, leaning back in your chair as a frown replaced the smile that had previously sat on your lips.

‘’It sounds like a great idea to me.’’ 

Heeseung's irksome voice caused you to look over at him once again, having to hold back a curse from leaving your throat in annoyance as your eyes landed on the lanky boy. With his eyes glued to the teacher sitting next to him, a big smile formed on his lips; like he found the situation delightful - when in reality, there was nothing delightful about the situation, not even a little bit. 

Your teacher offered Heeseung a warm smile, nodding her head. ‘’Then it’s decided, you’ll do it together.’’

You just hoped that the unpleasant expression plastered on your face didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung.

”I’ll do the whole project.”

You had followed Heeseung out of the classroom after saying bye to your teacher, the smile you had worn in an attempt to conceal how unsatisfied you were with her decision fading away as soon as you turned around to walk after the lanky boy; a sigh of annoyance leaving your lips as you sped up to catch up with your seatmate.

Your words clearly took Heeseung by surprise, his eyes wide and his eyebrows slightly furrowed together as he turned around to look at you. You just stared at him, leaning your upper body against the lockers beside you; the shocked expression on his face remaining.

“What?” His words came out shaky, not expecting you to follow him and he did most definitely not expect you to place your body against his locker, preventing him from accessing his own locker. You sighed, “Are you deaf? I said I’ll do the project, don’t worry, I’ll hand it in on time.”

Heeseung just continued to stare at you, his lips now slightly parted. “On your own? No, absolutely not! Did you not listen to a single word that the teacher told us? It’s a group project,” He let out, shaking his head as he spoke. Yet another sigh left your lips, this one much more dramatic, followed by you rolling your eyes.

Not even two minutes into your first ever official conversation with the boy and he was already annoying you.

“I’m not stupid, okay? I can handle it, just leave it to me.” You defended yourself, emphasizing the ‘stupid’. 

“I never said you were,” He looked down at the books you were holding in your hands, “But judging by the way you brought your biology book to history class, I think you might need some he-“ 

Heeseung stopped himself from speaking as his eyes landed on your stern, clearly unamused face. 

Maybe he said a little too much.

You just stared at him as he pressed his lips into a thin line, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as his eyes darted away from your figure in an attempt to ease the sudden tense atmosphere. “If you’re done being an asshole, I need to go get started on this project since I’m so stupid.”  You had already turned around, already a few feet away from the boy when you heard him sigh from behind you.

“No, Y/N, wait!” Your eyes went wide for a second when you felt his cold hand come into contact with your wrist, your steps coming to a halt as his firm grip prevented you from taking another step. You quickly turned around, coming face to face with Heeseung, who was still holding onto your wrist, once again. 

If looks could kill, Heeseung was sure he’d be dead by now. 

With your eyes narrowed as you stared at him, a sigh left his lips as he ran his hand through his hair; the grip he had on your wrist slowly loosening before ultimately letting your wrist go completely - your arm falling down your side.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, it’s a group project,” He let out, his hand resting at the nape of his neck. You just stared at him for a moment, not believing the audacity of the boy standing before you. 

”Well, I don’t think we can work together. Go ask the teacher to assign you a new partner or something.” You let out after a moment of silence, a moment of Heeseung staring at you in anticipation; nervously waiting for you to respond. You were about to turn around once more, feeling done with the conversation; hoping that he’d actually listen to you and talk to the teacher about switching partners when a groan suddenly emerged from the taller boy's throat.

”No,” He shook his head, “I want to work with you Y/N.”

A dry chuckle trailed off your lips as you shook your head in response. “It didn’t sound like it a minute ago when you called me stupid.”

Another groan left Heeseung’s throat, the sarcastic tone lingering behind your words almost causing him to roll his eyes. Judging by the way you were already clearly annoyed with him, he decided it would be for the best if he didn’t; if he wanted to live another day, that being said.

“I said I’m sorry!” He exclaimed in defense, throwing his hands up in the air. You almost scrunched your nose in disgust at the scene in front of you, only finding him more and more annoying the more he spoke. “Whatever, are we done here or is there another insult you’ve been wanting to tell me?” You muttered, your eyes still narrowed as you stared at the dark-haired boy.

Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment. He wondered if you had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or if his words actually pissed you off that much, fighting the urge to ask you which of the two options had you in such a foul mood.

‘’Look Y/N,’’ He began speaking, pushing his glasses further up his nose using his pointer finger, “I insist. I’m sorry we got off to a bad start, but I can’t let you do this whole project on your own.”

Got off to a bad start? You almost let out a chuckle as the words left his lips, was he really that oblivious? ‘’Plus, think about it, I think we both could benefit from working together, no?’’

You pressed your lips into a thin line, your gaze darting over to look at something other than him while thinking about what he had just said. 

There was absolutely nothing in it for you, besides possibly growing to hate Lee Heeseung even more than you already did. There was nothing Heeseung could possibly help you with, you knew you would be able to do the project, if not even better, on your own; history was one of the few subjects you were really good in, after all.

‘’How?’’ You asked after a while, your eyes darting back to the boy standing in front of you once again. He raised one of his eyebrows, tilting his head as he gave you a questioning look. ‘’How what, exactly?’’ He questioned, repeating your words. You let out a sigh, inhaling air through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. ‘’Yeah, like how would we possibly benefit anything from working together?’’

His lips formed into an ‘o’ shape as he realized what you meant, causing you to frown as you watched his facial expression go from a puzzled to an understanding one. 

He might’ve looked smart and his grades definitely proved that he was, but when it came to interacting with another human being; God, was he awful. 

A hum left Heeseungs lips as he thought about your question - now that he understood what you meant by your simple ‘how’. 

‘’It’s the most important project of the year, almost our whole grade literally depends on this project,’’ He began speaking, almost like he was educating you; earning yet another stare from you, patiently waiting for him to continue his sentence.

Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment, wondering if you understood the importance of this project. Your blank stare made it hard for him to tell if you understood or not, but considering how your teacher had brought up the importance of this project multiple times during the year he just assumed you knew; clearing his throat before you could accuse him of calling you stupid, again. 

‘’So I just think that if we put both our knowledge together, we’d do a better job compared to how we’d do if we did it separately,’’ He continued, ‘’She wouldn’t put us in the same group if she didn’t think it was for the best, right?’’

You kept your eyes on him as the last words trailed off his lips, a low chuckle escaping your lips as you scanned his facial expression; his bottom lip placed in between his teeth by the time he finished speaking.

Still believing this was the universe’s way of punishing you for all your sins, you refused to believe that your teacher paired you and Heeseung up for the sake of your grade. If anything, your seatmate was going to be the downfall of your grades; considering how you wouldn’t last a minute working with him. ‘’If you needed my help that bad you should’ve just said so.’’

Your words almost caused Heeseung’s jaw to hit the floor, his eyes widening in disbelief. Did you just disrespect his knowledge, the knowledge he so proudly bragged about every time he received yet another perfect grade? 

‘’What? I don’t need your help!’’ He let out, stumbling over his own words as he tried to defend himself and most importantly - his pride.

A small smile formed on your lips as you watched the flustered boy in front of you. Of course Heeseung, the top student, didn’t need your help to get this project done; you knew that. But you couldn’t help but let the words leave your lips as you watched how nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he was getting ready to start begging you to work with him.

You also eventually figured out the reason behind his stubbornness. He didn’t necessarily want to work with you, but he wanted the grade that would come with him working with you. He knew that by working with you and doing the project together, you’d put the things he already knew into a new perspective and it would definitely get him a higher grade; especially since your teacher was the one who wanted you two to work together in the first place.

‘’I could totally do this whole project on my own! But it’s a group project and it’s not fair if only one of us does the whole project, not that I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own, but I just t-’’

‘’What’s in it for me?’’ His lips remained parted for a second, not a single word leaving his lips as you abruptly interrupted his rambling. He then pressed his lips back into a thin line, confusion once again taking over the flustered expression he had just worn on his face. You just stared at him, shaking your head as he remained quiet. ‘’You clearly want me to work with you so you can get a better grade,’’ You continued.

Heeseung’s lip once again parted, bringing both his hands up in the air; about to defend himself - about to deny the obvious. He, however, never got the chance to utter as much as a single noise as your voice once again filled his ears. ‘’But what’s in it for me?’’

He just started at you, making you wonder if that’s what he always did whenever he spoke to someone considering he had only taken his eyes off you for a split second during your conversation; his doe eyes staring right at you starting to make you feel slightly uncomfortable. ‘’Well,’’ He hummed, realizing there was no point in denying the truth, ‘’A better grade, I suppose?’’

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, shaking your head. ‘’That won’t do.’’ You replied, causing Heeseung to frown. ‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, his head now slightly tilted. ‘’I know that I could achieve the very same grade, if not better, by working on my own. So working with you is technically only a hassle for me,’’ Your words caused Heeseung to mutter out a low ‘ouch’ under his breath as you continued speaking.

‘’So, what’s in it for me if we do work together?’’ The frown remained plastered on Heeseung’s face as you finished speaking, now slightly tilting your head as you waited for him to speak.

Heeseung, however, remained silent. He kept his eyes on you as he tried to think of something, anything, that you could get out of working with him; besides a better grade, that being said. With his bottom lip once again placed in between his teeth, a low groan escaped his throat as he realized there was absolutely nothing in it for you besides a better grade. Tearing his eyes off of you, a sigh escaped his lips as he shut his eyes.

He couldn’t believe he had to bargain with you in order for you to do the project with him.

‘’I’ll do anything you want.’’ Your lips parted in surprise, your eyes slightly widening as the sudden words left his mouth. 

Any normal person would just simply ask their teacher to switch partners if the other person showed clear dissatisfaction with the thought of being paired up together. Heeseung, however? No, not when his whole grade was on the line.

You knew Heeseung would do anything for a good grade, even though he didn’t even have to try most of the time. But considering the fact that this project was important and as he had previously told you, your whole grade depended on this project; you knew the opportunity of you two working together was his best bet on getting the highest grade possible. Even though you were aware of how important he found his grades, you couldn’t help but wonder - was he really that desperate?

‘’Anything?’’

‘’Absolutely anything.’’

Heeseung regretted his decision the second the words left his lips and his eyes fluttered open, once again landing on your face. The smug grin you wore on your lips made him want to sink through the ground; realizing what he had just agreed to. ‘’Like, absolutely anything?’’ You repeated, your smile only growing bigger as you realized you could practically make the poor boy do anything judging by how desperate he looked with his big doe eyes staring into your own.

‘’Yes! Like, absolutely anything!’’ He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he placed the other hand on his hip; something that almost made you cringe, and it probably would’ve - if you weren’t too caught up in the fact that your annoying seatmate, Lee Heeseung, just told you he’d do anything in order for you to work on the group project with him.

‘’Deal.’’ You let out, extending your right hand for him to shake. Heeseung just stared at your hand for a moment, the hand that had been pinching the bridge of his nose falling down his side as his gaze met yours once again. ‘’What? You haven’t even told me what I’m supposed to do yet, how can we make a deal if I don’t even k-’’

Heeseung fell silent the second he felt you grab his hand, rolling your eyes as you shook his hand; his lips parting in utter surprise at your unexpected action, the feeling of your smaller hand wrapping around his own causing his heart to skip a beat - from the shock of you so carelessly grabbing his hand, of course, nothing else. 

‘’Let’s get this over with as soon as possible, yeah? Let’s meet up tomorrow and figure out what we should write about,’’ You spoke, interrupting the now clearly appalled boy standing in front of you as you continued shaking his hand. ‘’But,’’ Heeseung managed to stutter out, eyes wide as he watched you shake his hand. ‘’Great! I’ll meet you in the library tomorrow after class,’’ 

By the time Heeseung had managed to tear his gaze off your hands, you had already let his hand go and were now making your way down the hallway with your back turned towards him. Heeseung, however, kept his hand extended as his lips parted; watching you make your way down the hallway, feeling dumbfounded by what had just happened. 

What did he just agree to?

The clock that decorated Heeseungs wrist hit 2:30 PM, and you were still nowhere to be seen.

Your class ended at 2 PM sharp the following day, and by 2:03 PM Heeseung found himself sitting in the library; his eyes scanning the room from the table he was sitting at as he waited for you to arrive.

Heeseung was an understanding man. He considered himself to be a very compassionate and generous person, which is why he understood why you weren’t in the library by the time he arrived. He had seen you talking to your friends right before class ended after all, or maybe the hallways were packed and stopped you from getting to the library as soon as possible, or maybe the teacher wanted to share a word with you. Whatever it was that was making you late, Heeseung understood and it wasn’t like he actually expected you to be there the second you got out of class; unlike himself.

Well, maybe a part of him did expect you to be there when he walked in. Another thing you had yet to find out about Heeseung was that while he was definitely an understanding person, he was also a time pessimist. 

And with you now being almost thirty minutes late to your scheduled meeting, the meeting that you had scheduled, Heeseung began to grow anxious as his eyes landed on the watch he wore around his wrist for the nth time that day. Heeseung valued his time, especially his study time, and you being this late caused the boy to almost grow aggravated as his foot repeatedly tapped against the floor; his eyes now glued to the clock as he counted each second that passed.

Heeseung tried being an understanding person, and he was willing to wait until the clock hit the thirty-minute mark for you to show up. But with the clock now being exactly 5 seconds away from hitting 2:31 PM, he could no longer force himself to be the bigger person; a low sigh escaping his lips as he watched the clock tick. You had wasted his precious time, and he was not willing to waste any more of it by waiting for you to show up.

‘’Why did you have to pick this table? I had to walk around the entire library looking for you,’’

Your sudden voice followed by your bag landing on top of the table in front of him almost caused Heeseung to jump out of his seat, missing as his watch hit 2:31 PM when his eyes landed on you instead. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on you, his lips parting in surprise as a sigh left your lips, watching you sit down in the chair in front of him.

The boy, however, never replied to your question. Raising one of your brows, your gaze landed on the lanky boy; immediately spotting the sour look on his face. You didn’t know whether or not to laugh at the displeased look plastered on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line as stared right back at you; or if you should be concerned, considering that you had never seen him look so disappointed before.

‘’What’s with the long face? Have you suddenly gone mute or why aren’t you saying anything?’’

Maybe your wishes of Heeseung losing his ability to speak somehow finally got fulfilled.

‘’You’re late.’’

Or maybe not. A groan left your lips before you ran your hand through your hair, rolling your eyes at the boy sitting with his arms crossed in front of you before leaning back in your chair; mimicking his actions by crossing your own arms over your chest.

‘’By like, 30 minutes,’’

‘’Exactly! 30 whole minutes, that’s a lot of time! I could’ve finished my biology homework by now if you showed up on time!’’ With his arms now waving in the air as he tried explaining to you why thirty minutes was a lot of time, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the boy once again. ‘’I just had to stop by the cafeteria to buy myself something to drink, I’m sorry! It’s not my fault that the line was so long!’’

Now it was Heeseungs turn to roll his eyes, ‘’Why didn’t you just skip getting a drink when seeing that the line would take a while? You knew you’d be late!’’

His argument earned him yet another eye roll from you, ‘’Would you rather me be 30 minutes late to our study date or die of dehydration?’’

‘’You wouldn’t even die of dehydration, unless you haven’t had a drink in about a week which I strongly doubt you haven’t because if you hadn’t you wouldn’t even be functioning right n-’’

A loud groan coming from you interrupted Heeseung’s lecture, his lips still parted with his hands still in the air as he stared at you. ‘’God, Heeseung! You’re so annoying, you know that, right?’’ You spat at him, shaking your head as you spoke. Heeseung just stared at you, letting out a huff before leaning back in his chair; crossing his arms over his chest once again before looking over at the bookshelf placed behind you. ‘’Says the girl who wasted 30 minutes of my precious time.’’

You stared at the boy seated in front of you in disbelief. Just when you didn’t think your dear seatmate could get any more annoying, he proved you wrong by showing you the most disturbing sulking face you had ever seen, his stern face accompanied by a small pout on his plump lips almost making you shudder in repulsion; like your whole body was rejecting just the sight of Lee Heeseung sulking.

‘’You’re only wasting more of your so-called precious time by sulking.’’ You muttered after taking in the sight in front of you, the shock of seeing Heeseung sulking leaving you dumbfounded for a moment; tearing your eyes off the boy in front of you to open up your backpack to retrieve your laptop.

Heeseung’s gaze landed on you, watching as you opened up your laptop; not a single word leaving his lips, a frown taking over his face as he realized he had actually been sulking. Oh god, he had actually sulked in front of you.

The two of you remained quiet after Heeseung cleared his throat in an attempt to somewhat ease the atmosphere, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, hiding his face by fiddling with the backpack he had placed next to his chair; praying that his hair actually covered the crimson color that had begun to spread across his cheeks.

‘’So,’’ You were the first one to speak, tearing your eyes away from your laptop; your eyes landing on the boy in front of you once more. As your eyes met his, Heeseung just hoped that his flushed cheeks had gone back to normal, not wanting to embarrass himself even further by letting you see him flustered. ‘’Any ideas of what we could write about?’’

Heeseung parted his lips, a feeling of relief washing over him as you just stared at him; not saying anything about his flushed cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as he thought. ‘’Oh,’’ He let out after a few seconds of just blankly staring at you, only speaking when you raised one of your eyebrows as you waited for him to respond. ‘’I was thinking we could write about the economic impact of the Titanic sinking?’’

Oh my god.

Was he actually serious right now?

You just stared at him, scanning his face as you tried to figure out if he was actually serious or not. But by the way his big, deer-like eyes were only staring innocently right back at you, you realized he was in fact serious. Oh god, he was actually serious. ‘’Don’t tell me you’re being serious?’’

Heeseung raised both his eyebrows at your question, his big eyes glistering under the extremely bad lighting of the library. ‘’What? Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a very interesting topic! You know, it impacted the economy pretty badly,’’ He began explaining, your eyes fluttering shut as soon as the words left his mouth; pressing your lips into a thin line before taking a deep breath through your nose. If you didn’t stop him right there and then, he would probably go on an hour-long rant about why and how the Titanic sinking impacted the economy.

‘’Heeseung.’’ 

‘’Almost all of the survivors and the families of the people who lost their lives sued the company, I can’t remember the exact number but we’re talking about millions and millions of dollars,’’

‘’Heeseung,’’

‘’I should know the exact amount of money though, what was it? Wait, let me look it up,’’

‘’Heeseung, I swear to God, if you say as much as another word about the Titanic I will personally sue you for emotional damage.’’ Heeseung had already begun typing on the keyboard of his laptop as the words left your mouth, his fingers stopped typing as he looked away from the screen of his laptop and up at you; his eyes widening.

This was the second time Heeseung felt like if looks could kill, he’d be buried 6 feet under the ground right now. It had only been approximately 24 hours since the two of you shared your first proper conversation despite being seatmates for months, yet he felt like you had wanted to kill him twice during those 24 hours. 

Heeseung just gulped in response, his eyes darting back to the screen of his computer; anything to avoid the death glare you were sending him, moving the cursor to close the google tab he had opened up. He’d have to google that when he got home.

‘’How about something simple instead? Like the great depression or something?’’

‘’Isn’t that too easy?’’

You just stared at the boy in front of you, causing him to throw both hands up into the air. ‘’Alright, the great depression it is!’’ He let out, keeping his hands in the air; scared that if he complained one more time you’d actually kill him. ‘’Thank you for finally cooperating, I almost thought you weren't capable of cooperating for a while.’’ You muttered, your eyes landing on the screen of your laptop once more as your fingers ghosted over the keyboard, creating a new document for you and your annoying seatmate.

Heeseung was about to say something in protest, something about how you were the one who had arrived late and picking the most basic topics, when he realized it was probably for the best for him to keep quiet; unless he wanted you to lash out on him again.

What had he possibly done for you to be so annoyed with him?

‘’Great, now we have a topic,’’ You mumbled under your breath, Heeseung watching as your brows slightly furrowed together as you focused on something on your laptop. ‘’And for time and place?’’ Your eyes met his once again, his head slightly tilted to the side; something you had noticed he did quite a lot whenever he got confused.

He remained silent, causing you to hold back a sigh. ‘’So we can work on the project, what time and what days should we meet up?’’ You clarified, not that your original question needed clarifying; but considering how the boy seated in front of you had no idea how to have a basic conversation, you realized you would have to clarify a lot of things the next couple of weeks. 

‘’Right,’’ Heeseung let out as he realized what you meant, ‘’I’m free after school on Mondays and Thursdays, if that works for you?’’

Free from doing what exactly? Researching the economic impact the Titanic had from sinking?

‘’That works for me,’’ You nodded, ‘’Let’s meet by your locker, and then head to the library to study, yeah? That way you don’t have to look like an idiot while waiting for me if I end up running late again.’’

Heeseung almost let out a whine at the mention of you running late again. He had hoped that you had learned your lesson by making him sulk in front of you, but your words proved him wrong; the thought of you making him waste another thirty minutes of his life waiting for you almost caused a groan to leave his throat in frustration. But he didn’t, only muttering out a low ‘right’, not wanting to annoy you even further.

You nodded your head, before shutting your computer; the sound of your laptop shutting close causing Heeseungs gaze to land on you again, confusion washing over him as he watched you out your laptop back into your backpack. ‘’Wait,’’ He let out, ‘’What are you doing? Aren’t we going to study?’’

You let out a chuckle as you closed your backpack, swinging it over your shoulder before standing up. ‘’It’s almost 3 o’clock, I have to get home,’’ You responded, putting the chair you had just been sitting in closer to the table. Heeseung watched your every movement, his lips parted as he watched you get ready to leave. ‘’But we haven’t even gotten anything done!’’

You just shrugged, ‘’I’m sorry, but I only had an hour to spare.’’

Heeseung just stared at you in disbelief. ‘’But you’ve only been here for, what, fifteen minutes?’’ He stuttered, the chuckle emerging from your throat taking him by surprise. ‘’Sorry, the amount of time it took for me to get a drink is also calculated into that time,’’

Frowning, Heeseung wanted to press his forehead against the table in front of him. It wasn’t his fault that you ended up being late, so why were you punishing him for it by not even studying like you had originally planned to do? The least you could do was at least stay for a while longer, just to make sure you got at least something done, not just deciding the topic. But it seemed like you weren’t going to do that, leaving Heeseung in despair.

‘’But I promise I’ll be on time next time! I’ll see you Thursday!’’

And just like that, you left Heeseung sitting in the same chair he had been sitting in for almost an hour now; waving as you walked further away. Heeseung just stared at you, watching as you spun around; a frown still plastered on his face. His forehead hit the table the second you walked out of the library, his eyes tightly shut as he let out a low groan, hoping that the rest of the people in the library didn’t hear him groaning in annoyance. 

Not only had you wasted his valued time, but he also never got the chance to ask you about what you wanted him to do for you to work with him.

To Heeseung’s surprise, you actually kept your promise.

When Thursday rolled around and your last class of the day was coming to its end, Heeseung was fully prepared for you to just leave him hanging again. This time, however, he had promised himself that he’d only wait for you for a maximum of fifteen minutes, no more; especially not thirty minutes like last time. He wasn’t going to let you waste his time like that again, not when he had more important things to do rather than standing around, waiting for his seatmate.

So when you actually showed up at his locker only two minutes after he got there, he was taken aback. He had prepared himself for you being late, he even come up with the bright idea of cleaning his locker while waiting for you, which was much needed considering the amount of paper taking up all the space in his already small locker; making it hard for him to fit his books in there the more papers he gathered, only to dump them in his locker.

But it seemed like cleaning his locker would have to wait as you actually showed up on time, holding your laptop in one of your hands and a history book in the other; ready to start working.

Not only had you surprised Heeseung, but Heeseung had surprised you as well. You had mentally prepared yourself for an hour consisting of listening to Heeseung ramble about things that were completely irrelevant, things that would make you want to rip your hair out in annoyance; things that would make it incredibly hard for you to get anything done.

But you didn’t even have to set any rules, you didn’t tell him to be quiet and only talk to you if he had something to ask or say about the project, that him talking would only prevent you from getting any work done which you knew would annoy him as well; because twenty minutes into your study session, he had yet to utter a single word.

No, he kept his eyes glued to the screen the second he opened his laptop; his brows slightly furrowed together as the screen of his laptop reflected in his glasses. Like the computer had sucked him into a completely different world, his lips remained sealed as you discreetly watched him read something in the reflection of his glasses. Not that he would have noticed that you were staring at him, whatever he was reading had clearly captivated him.

No rambling, no unnecessary remarks, no nothing; he was just simply quiet. Almost too quiet.

And you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, the universe had finally heard your prayers and decided to forgive you for your sins; showing you its gratitude by letting you have one day where you wouldn’t have to lose your mind over Lee Heeseung talking.

He wasn’t so bad when he kept his mouth shut.

You would think that the quietness would make it easier for you to focus on the project, but twenty minutes in and the document still remained blank; besides a few names and random dates that Heeseung had written down at the bottom of the page for him to remember for later, watching as he switched in between tabs, the sound of him typing on his keyboard filling the room before he went back to reading once again.

There was something else clouding your mind, making it hard for you to focus on the project as the only thing you could seem to think about was what you were supposed to tell Heeseung to do for you working with him.

You found yourself lost in your own thoughts as you thought about it. You had been delighted when Heeseung first proposed the idea of him doing anything you want in order for you to work with him, ideas running through your mind; maybe this was your chance to get him to stop both embarrassing you and getting on your nerves during class. Maybe this was your chance of turning Lee Heeseung into an actual endurable seatmate.

You could forbid him from talking in class ever again, you thought, or maybe you could force him to do something so bizarre the teacher would have to change the seats around. Or maybe he didn’t have to do anything bizarre, maybe he could just ask the teacher to change the seats around; but what would be the fun in that, especially after the hell he’s unknowingly put you through day in and day out?

But the more you thought about it, the more idiotic did your options seem. You knew you couldn’t forbid him from talking in class, you knew he had to speak in class; you might be praying for Lee Heeseungs downfall, but you knew better than to play with his grades like that. The teacher had also made it very clear that she wouldn’t be changing the seats anytime soon and that we would just have to live with it after multiple groans and complaints had left the student's lips after her decision was announced.

So with your options being ripped apart one by one, you were left with nothing. Which meant you had no idea what to tell Heeseung.

You weren’t sure for how long you had been in your thoughts, but the sound of Heeseung suddenly humming snapped you out of your daze; blinking as you realized you had been zoning out for a little too long.

At first, you thought he was humming to get your attention; maybe he noticed that you still hadn’t written anything as the page was still blank and was going to ask you about it, or possibly make some smart remark about how he already knew everything the page he was on was telling him - something typical coming from Heeseung. 

But he wasn’t trying to get your attention, no, he was humming a song.

You slightly furrowed your brows as you realized he was in fact humming the tune of a song, your eyes now fully fixed on him. His eyes remained glued to the screen of his laptop, the reflection in his glasses letting you know that he was still reading. You parted your lips like you were getting ready to say something, but remained silent as you continued to listen to him quietly humming.

‘’What song are you humming?’’ You spoke, the first time you spoke since you first sat down; the first time any of you spoke, as a matter of fact. Heeseung quickly looked up at you, his eyes big as his lips parted; his humming coming to an abrupt end. ‘’What?’’ He let out, causing a small chuckle to trail off your lips. ‘’The song you were humming just now, what song was it?’’

Heeseung just stared at you, his lips still parted. ‘’Oh,’’ He mumbled, a small smile spreading across his lips and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever actually seen him smile. You couldn’t help but let your eyes dart down to his pink lips, his teeth slightly showing as the corner of his lips curled into a small smile; one of his hands awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck.

His smile almost caused you to frown, because why was his smile so pretty? 

You never thought that Lee Heeseung would have a pretty smile, but with his pearly white teeth showing you couldn’t help but think just that - that Lee Heeseung did in fact have a pretty smile. ‘’I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry if I disturbed you,’’ He stuttered, looking down at his lap in another attempt to hide the crimson color spreading across his cheeks. This time, however, you noticed his flushed cheeks. 

‘’No,’’ You let out, almost too quickly, ‘’You didn’t. It sounded like a good song, I mean, you sounded good.’’

Oh, God. 

There was no way you actually just complimented him.

Your sudden compliment caused Heeseung to look back up at you, the shy smile he had flashed you slowly fading away and you suddenly felt like hiding your face in the palms of your hands. You weren’t sure if you somehow offended him, judging by the way his smile had now faded away completely; not that a compliment like that usually offended anyone, but you had established the fact that Heeseung didn’t work like other people a long time ago.

‘’Thank you,’’ He managed to get out after a moment of suspenseful silence, his cheeks now feeling hotter than ever as he tried biting back another smile from spreading across his lips. ‘’I can show you the song later, if you want me to of course!’’ He stammered.

You nodded in response, flashing him a small smile before returning your gaze to the screen of your computer in an attempt to ease the now stiff atmosphere; feeling awkward from the situation that had just played out. No, awkward wasn’t even the right word to describe how you felt, you felt like you wanted to sink through the ground.

Why would you ever compliment him like that?

Heeseung, however, kept his eyes on you; biting down on his bottom lip as he watched you uncomfortably shifting around in your seat while clearing your throat. Had he made you feel awkward? Was he not supposed to tell you the song? Should he just go back to reading the article he was reading? Questions flooded his mind as he desperately tried figuring out a way to ease the awkwardness that had suddenly arisen, almost slightly panicking as the thought of him making you uncomfortable crossed his mind.

‘’Oh, wait,’’ 

Against your own will, your eyes darted back to the boy sitting in front of you, raising one of your eyebrows as you watched him bend over; the sound of him unzipping his bag causing you to feel slightly puzzled. ‘’I forgot,’’ He mumbled as he sat back upright, your eyes darting down to his hands; watching as he placed a drink on top of the table. ‘’I brought this for you this morning, so you wouldn’t have to die out of dehydration this time.’’

Your gaze softened as he mumbled out his words, almost making it impossible for you to hear what he was saying; but you did, and a part of you wished you hadn’t - because now it was your cheeks burning. 

You kept your eyes on the drink placed in front of the boy, his hand still loosely wrapped around the can; his eyes now focused on you, his bottom lip placed in between his teeth once more as he waited for you to respond. But your response never came, and Heeseung couldn’t tell if you were staring at the drink because you didn’t like it or because you found his gesture weird. 

‘’I’m sorry if you don’t like it, I wasn’t sure which one to get,’’ He stuttered, letting go of the drink as he spoke, ‘’I-if you don’t want it that’s completely fine, I can just drink, I’m sorry if it was weird of me t-’’

‘’Thank you, Heeseung.’’

Your soft words caused Heeseungs body to freeze in place. He was expecting you to snap at him, or groan, or maybe even roll your eyes, his already big eyes slightly widening in shock as your eyes met his. He stared into your eyes for a moment, searching for any type of sarcasm or maybe even annoyance; but he couldn’t find any, no, the soft look in your eyes telling him that you were actually being genuine. ‘’I really like that drink.’’

Heeseung felt his cheeks heat up once again, a small smile forming on his plump lips as his fingers wrapped around the drink again; sliding the drink over the wooden table. ‘’Good.’’ He managed to get out, speaking so quietly that he was sure you hadn’t even heard him. He watched as you wrapped your own fingers around the drink, a small smile forming on your own lips.

He had made you smile.

He was quick to return his gaze to the screen of his computer, his heart feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest if he looked at you for as much as another second.

With your fingers ghosting over the keyboard of your laptop, you realized that you most definitely weren’t going to get anything done today; not while Heeseung was sitting across the table.

Heeseung made sure to buy one can of that drink every time the two of you were supposed to meet up by his locker after that. 

The first couple of times he had pulled the canned drink out of his bag, you had insisted that he shouldn’t, that he didn’t have to buy you a can every Monday and Thursday, and that you could just buy one yourself; but Heeseung refused.

He wanted to, because then he got to see your smile.

You had also became less hostile towards him. You hadn’t calling him annoying or rolled your eyes at him for almost two weeks now, a new record according to Heeseung, considering how often you did those two things the first couple of times you met with him. He had also made you laugh at one point, and Heeseung swore he had never blushed so hard in his entire life.

So he was going to keep on buying you that one canned drink, because you were friends now, and that’s what friends do for each other; right?

A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned against the lockers next to you, letting your upper body rest against the hard metal as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Heeseung had never in his entire life been late for anything, not even once; especially not your study sessions. He was always the first one to be there, you would always spot his tall, lanky figure standing by his locker whenever you turned the corner to go met him. 

This time, however, Heeseung hadn’t been standing there as you turned the corner.

You just assumed he was using the restrooms when you first arrived, knowing that he would never be late; looking back to the first time you went to meet him in the library, remembering his sulking face after he told you you had wasted his precious time - a chuckle threatening to leave your lips at the memory. You were running a few minutes late to your now weekly meet-up anyways, so you just figured that he went to do something else while he waited for you, like using the restroom for example.

But when you had been standing there for ten minutes and Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen, you realized that wasn’t the case.

You had looked around, wondering if maybe he was just lurking somewhere nearby. You checked the end of the hallway, the empty classrooms thinking maybe he got held up after class, peaking into the boy's restroom - only to find it empty. With Heeseung still nowhere to be seen, you returned to his locker with a frown plastered on your face; deciding that you’d just stay by the lockers to see if he showed up.

Now, thirty minutes later, Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen. You had already scrolled through your entire Instagram feed, checked all your friend's stories and Heeseung still hadn’t shown up. A part of you began to grow worried, because since when was Heeseung ever late? He was never late, and the thought of something happening to him caused a weird feeling to spread across your chest.

The weird feeling caused you to stop scrolling on your phone, your thumb now lingering above the screen of your phone as you frowned. 

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment you began tolerating, not to mention caring about the boy you swore you hated so much. Maybe it was that one day in the library when you had heard him humming, his warm voice almost causing goosebumps to form on the skin of your arms - or maybe it was when he had bought you a drink, you weren’t sure.

But you did know for a fact that you weren’t particularly fond of the sudden, new feelings you felt towards the boy. 

It confused you, how fast everything had changed. Just four weeks ago, you had felt like your whole world came crashing down around you when your teacher had asked you to work with Heeseung. Now, four weeks later, you found yourself laughing at something he said; something you four weeks ago could never see yourself doing. But most importantly, you found yourself enjoying his company.

Something that you thought wasn’t humanly possible.

‘’I am so, so sorry,’’

Heeseungs now familiar voice brought you out of your thoughts, the feeling that had spread across your chest slowly fading away as his voice echoed behind you; feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. A small sigh of relief left your lips as you heard him walking towards you, your eyes still fixated on the screen of your phone as you turned around. 

‘’Is this your payback for that one time I made you wait for me?’’ You chuckled, feeling both relieved and slightly annoyed at him for making you wait for so long without giving you a heads up; you had given him your phone number after all so he could text you if anything came up, to avoid the library incident happening again. Your eyes left the screen of your phone, darting towards the figure walking towards you in the corner of your eye.

Nothing, however, could’ve prepared you for the sight you were about to see.

The smile that had formed on your lips when you first heard his voice slowly turned into your lips slightly parting, the grip you were holding on your phone tightening in an attempt for you not to drop it onto the floor; scared that you’d potentially crack the screen. If it wasn’t because you were leaning against the locker, you probably would’ve lost your balance.

With his dark hair dripping wet from just showering, covering his forehead and half of his eyes; he placed his hands on top of his thighs as soon as he reached you, desperately panting as he tried to catch his breath. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ He panted once again, his eyes meeting the floor. ‘’My gym teacher wanted to talk to me about my grades so I had to stay behind,’’

You, however, couldn’t make out a single word that was leaving his lips. With your lips still parted your now wide eyes scanned the boy standing in front of you, still trying his best to catch his breath; your eyes landing on his very, very veiny hands - a result of him sprinting through the school just to get to you.

With your heart now racing, your eyes landed on his face again.

What the fuck?

Without his glasses, he looked like a completely different person. The person standing in front of you didn’t resemble the annoying boy you had been sitting next to every day for months now one bit, no, he didn’t look like him at all. The boy standing in front of you now looked completely different, with the glasses you had once called hideous nowhere to be seen and his biceps exposed thanks to the t-shirt he was wearing, he looked so fucking attractive.

Heeseung must’ve noticed the way you stayed silent, looking up at you through his eyelashes; his eyebrows slightly furrowing together as he noticed the pale look on your face. ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, concern lingering in his voice.

No, fuck, you were the furthest thing away from being okay right now.

Standing up straight, he tilted his head, slightly narrowing his eyes so he could see you better. He wasn’t wearing his glasses after all. ‘’Are you upset with me? I’m sorry I’m so late, I promise I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long, do you still have time to study? It’s completely okay if you don’t, we can just reschedule it or just meet up on Monday instead,’’

He was rambling, and you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to him. Not right now, not when he was looking like this. ‘’No!’’ You managed to get out, almost stuttering as you spoke. Heeseung looked at you, his eyes slightly widening at your sudden exclaim; now scared that he had really upset you. You tore your eyes off of him, sucking air through your teeth, trying to calm your racing heart down.

Why were you suddenly feeling like this? Why was your heart racing?

‘’I can’t study today, at all,’’ You stuttered, your eyes still not meeting his as you cringed at yourself for sounding so pathetic by stumbling over your own words. ‘’I just came here to tell you that, I’m busy today, so I won’t be able to make it today,’’

Heeseung remained quiet, his eyes darting down to your now clenched fists, nervousness and confusion washing over him. You had lashed out at him before, sure, but never like this; making the boy feel slightly anxious. The last thing he wanted was to upset you. 

He bit down on his lower lip as you continued to avoid his gaze by staring at the lockers on the other side of the hallway, Heeseung fighting the urge to take your hands in his to check if maybe you had hurt yourself and that’s why you were clenching your fists so hard. ‘’But, you could’ve just texted me, you didn’t have to wait for me, wasn’t standing here waiting for me only taking up more of your time?’’ He let out, confusion and slight hurt lingering behind hs words.

You had always hated how smart Heeseung was, but right now, you swore you hated it more than you had ever done before.

‘’It slipped my mind,’’ You mumbled, still refusing to look back at him; scared that your heart would burst if you looked at him one more time. Heeseung just nodded in response, his eyes darting around the empty hallway as he thought of what to say. ‘’Well, are you going anywhere? Let me give you a ride, it’s the least I can do since I kept you waiting for so lo-’’

‘’It’s fine, Heeseung, I’ll take the bus, I’ll see you on Monday, okay?’’

Before Heeseung could even reply, you had already stormed past him without even looking at him. Turning around, his lips parted as he thought of calling out to you; hesitating to do so as he watched you walk further down the hallway. His lips closed once again as he watched you turn the corner, disappearing out of his sight. 

With a heavy feeling in his chest and droplets of water dropping onto his shirt from not drying his hair properly, he wondered if he had hurt you by being late.

Mondays had always been your favorite day, at least since Heeseung became your seatmate; purely because the two of you didn’t share any of the same classes on that particular day. It was no different today, you were beyond happy that you wouldn’t have to face Heeseung during any of your classes - but not for the reason you usually had.

No, this time it wasn’t because you wouldn’t have to listen to his pen hitting his desk over and over again, nor was it because you wouldn’t have to endure him embarrassing you by talking over the teacher like he always did.

You were scared, and you were scared shitless to face him.

You had rushed home after you had lashed out at him in the hallway, your heart still pounding when you laid down in the comfort of your own bed. You had refused to go to school the following day, making up some lie about not feeling too well - which in reality, wasn’t a lie. You didn’t feel too well, you didn’t feel well at all, truth to be told.

The thought of you and Heeseung actually getting along had already scared you, and the fact that your heart skipped a beat when you saw him only made things worse. You had never even considered Lee Heeseung remotely attractive before, you had always hated the way he styled his hair, the way it’d neatly cover his forehead; and most of all, you had always hated the horrid, round glasses he wore every day.

But seeing him like that, with his hair messily covering his forehead and without his glasses, and not to mention his smile, oh God, his smile; you realized that he was in fact attractive. No, he was more than just that - he was breathtaking.

Something you never thought you’d admit, nor was it something you ever wanted to admit. But whether you liked it or not, it was something you could no longer deny, even though you had spent the entire weekend trying to prove yourself wrong, to no avail: Lee Heeseung had made your heart skip a beat.

With your last class of the day coming to an end, you found yourself anxiously tapping your pencil against the wooden desk in front of you, a habit you swore you hated and most definitely picked up from Heeseung. The only difference was that Heeseung had told you that he always tapped to the beat of whatever song was stuck in his head when you had asked him about his annoying habit, while you very much just repeatedly tapped it against the table with no beat whatsoever.

You had considered texting him, letting him know that you wouldn’t be able to make it to today's study session either. But with the deadline coming up, you knew you couldn’t be that selfish; you had to get the project done sooner or later. And the faster the better, you thought, so you could go back to hating Lee Heeseung and never think about what the confusing feelings you currently felt towards the boy meant ever again.

Even though you had accepted your faith by the time your last class came to an end, it didn’t make it any easier for you to make your way down the hallway leading to Heeseungs locker. The anxiety you had felt the entire weekend only doubled when you were about to turn the corner, knowing that the second you turned that very corner, you’d be able to see the lanky boy standing further down the hallway.

You weren’t sure what to expect. You prayed that he was back to wearing his hair neatly and that he was wearing his glasses this time, that he’d look like he normally did; so you could be reminded of why you hated Lee Heeseung in the first place. Maybe you just needed a reminder for your confusing feelings to go away, maybe you were just confused because he had looked so different; you didn’t actually find him that attractive, right?

Wrong.

You were wrong.

With one step, you turned the corner you were so afraid of turning, and you swore your heart stopped beating the second your eyes landed on the spot where he usually stood when he waited for you.

His hair was indeed back to being neatly styled and his round glasses were perfectly placed on the bridge of his nose again just like you had hoped, so why the fuck did he still look so breathtaking?

This was the moment you were supposed to feel the heavy weight you had felt the entire weekend being lifted off your shoulders as you realized that you didn’t actually find Heeseung as attractive as you thought you did, you were supposed to feel all the anxiety slip away; so why did it feel like someone only added more weight onto your shoulders the second your eyes landed on him? 

Maybe you just needed to take a closer look.

Yeah, you definitely just needed to take a closer look.

‘’Hi,’’

Your voice definitely took Heeseung by surprise, his whole body slightly flinching as your voice came from beside him. Turning his whole body around, he looked at you; his eyes wide. ‘’Y/N? I didn’t think you’d show up today,’’ He managed to get out, his eyes still glued to you. You awkwardly smiled, shaking your head as you looked down at your shoes in an attempt to hide your now flushed face.

No, you definitely found him just as attractive, if not even more, up close.

‘’Yeah, me neither,’’ You chuckled, hoping that Heeseung would chuckle too. Only he didn’t. Instead, he remained quiet; only staring at you, not knowing what to say. 

Heeseung had spent the entire weekend thinking, just like you had done. He had left school shortly after you stormed off, his mind clouded as he drove home; wondering why you were so upset when you left. He couldn’t help but curse himself out, telling himself that if he only had texted you that he’d be late you wouldn’t have been so upset with him; or if he just would’ve told his teacher that he simply didn’t have the time to discuss his grade because he had other plans - he did find meeting you more important, after all.

There were many ways Heeseung could’ve avoided you being upset with him, and he hated himself for not thinking about all those things before actually upsetting you. But Heeseung knew there was no way he’d be able to change what had already happened, so he spent the weekend trying to figure out how to apologize to you instead of sulking about you potentially being disappointed in him.

But now that you were actually standing in front of him, it seemed like all of the ways he had thought of how to apologize suddenly never existed in the first place; his mind going completely blank.

‘’Do you still want to study today?’’ Your voice snapped Heeseung out of his thoughts, blinking as he realized he had been staring at you. Clearing his throat, he tore his eyes off of you; rubbing the nape of his neck as he tried his best not to become flustered by your eyes being on him. ‘’Y-yeah, but,’’ He stammered out, something he hadn’t done in a long time; he almost never stuttered around you anymore, he had become so comfortable around you to the point where he felt comfortable talking to you without having to think about what he said - something he never felt with anyone else.

‘’I was thinking, maybe we could go to my house instead of the library?’’

Heeseung regretted saying it the second the words trailed off his lips and his eyes landed on your face, the shocked expression on your face making him regret every life choice that led him to this very moment. ‘’To your house?’’

‘’Yeah, I just, have this thing coming up later tonight a-and it’d be a lot easier for me if I was already at my house when we’re done studying,’’ He let out, the unsure look on your face making him want to sink through the ground.

He was supposed to apologize to you for letting you down before inviting you to his house, not the opposite - his plan already failing miserably.

You just stared at him for a minute, causing Heeseung to grow even more anxious. He had gotten used to the look on your face whenever you were annoyed with him, but this one didn’t look anything like that look; no, it looked like something completely different and Heeseung couldn’t tell what you were feeling, making him even more nervous.

He was just about to tell you to just forget about it and that he could probably find a way to work around it, that you could just work on your project in the library like you always did; when your voice interrupted him.

‘’Sure,’’ You softly let out, so softly that Heeseung almost didn’t catch it. ‘’Sure?’’ He repeated, making sure that he heard you correctly. You nodded in response, a small smile spreading on your lips. ‘’We can do that.’’

The car ride to his house was quiet, too quiet for your liking. But with Heeseung being focused on the road and with you staring at the window, you just couldn’t force yourself to say anything.

And neither could Heeseung. He thought that maybe this was his chance to apologize to you, maybe he wouldn’t get another opportunity today; considering how he knew you liked for him to be quiet whenever you were working. But with his fingers tapping against the steering wheel, the atmosphere felt far too awkward for him to utter a ‘sorry’. 

So he just decided he’d do it as soon as you reached his house, before the two of you started working on the project; letting you continue to observe the nature outside through the window, looking at you through the corner of his eye every now and then - a small smile forming on his lips each time.

Well, you had also planned on apologizing to him for storming off like that the previous week when you reached his house. But the atmosphere was just as tense when you placed yourself on top of his bed, your eyes scanning his room; taking in the space your dear seatmate lived in.

Just like you had expected, his room was neat. A little too neat. But then again, it looked just like you had pictured it; neat, just like Heeseung himself.

‘’I hope you’re okay with working on my bed, I don't have another chair,’’ He mumbled as he used his thumb to point to the desk placed in the corner of the room, your eyes landing on the one chair before nodding. ‘’Are you not working on the bed?’’ You asked, your eyes landing on the tall boy standing a few feet away. 

Heeseung looked over at you, gulping before opening his mouth to speak, ‘’I was planning on sitting by the desk, if that’s okay with you?’’ He asked, his eyes still glued to you. You bit down on your lower lip before nodding once more, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. ‘’I mean, yeah, I just thought it'd be easier if we sat next to each other, if I need to get your opinion on something or anything,’’ You mumbled in response.

That was a lie. You could easily just send him whatever you needed to get his opinion on, but how were you supposed to comfortably apologize if he was sitting from across the room?

Luckily for you, Heeseung seemed to agree with your idea. ‘’No, yeah, you’re right, I’ll just sit on the bed with you.’’ He mumbled back, his eyes darting away from you as he used one of his hands to rub the back of his neck.

So he did, placed with his back resting against the headboard of his bed and with his laptop placed on top of his thighs, he began working on the project; just like the two of you had planned.

You, on the other hand, just couldn’t focus; just like all the other times you had worked with Heeseung.

You had been too preoccupied stealing glances at him from above the screen of your laptop from the second he sat down in front of you to even open the shared document, the sight of him being too intriguing to even consider looking away.

While not so discreetly staring at the boy sitting in front of you, you realized two things. 

The first one being that you had no idea how to even bring up the subject, not knowing how to just suddenly apologize for something you didn’t even know if he cared about. 

The second thing being that you accepted the fact that you indeed found Lee Heeseung attractive. Too attractive for your own good - especially when he focused on something.

With his lip nudged in between his teeth and his brows furrowed together as he focused on whatever stood written on the screen of his laptop, you couldn’t help but scan his features. You wondered for a split second how you had never noticed how sharp his jawline was before, maybe because you never really looked his way as the mere sight of him used to be more than enough to make your blood boil; you weren’t sure. 

You also wondered why you had never paid more attention to his big, doe eyes before. His eyes were more than enough to make your heart skip a beat, not to mention whenever his pink lips would curl into a smile and the laugh you had learned to love would emerge from his throat.

No, you couldn’t do this anymore.

‘’Heeseung?’’

His name trailing fo your lips caused him to look up from his laptop, surprised to see your eyes already staring at him. He hummed in response, slightly tilting his head. You had to bite down on your bottom lip in order to control your breathing as his eyes met yours, inhaling through your nose before speaking, ‘’Can you take a look at this for me?’’

Heeseung offered you a soft smile, nodding his head as he sat up straight; getting ready for you to pass him your laptop so he could look at whatever you were referring to. But you had other plans it seemed, Heeseungs body freezing as he watched you crawl towards him - just to place your body in the tight space between his body and the wall.

His eyes widened as he felt your body press up against the side of his own, his breath hitching in his throat as he suddenly became aware of just how close you were to him. You had never been this close before, the closest you had ever been to him was the one time his hand accidentally brushed against yours while handing you a drink; that alone was enough to turn him into a stuttering mess.

But this? This was enough for him to lose his ability to speak for all eternity.

You, however, seemed completely unphased to Heeseung by the sudden closeness as you placed your laptop in your lap. Heeseung had to clear his throat as his eyes darted toward the screen of your computer, deciding not to say anything about how close you were to him. It made more sense for you to show him yourself, he thought, you probably didn’t mean anything by getting this close to him, right?

He watched as you moved the cursor across the screen, clicking on one of the tabs; an article now taking up the whole screen. Heeseung glanced over at you, sucking air through his teeth as he realized he would have to lean over you in order to actually make out what the text said. So he did, slowly leaning closer to the screen as he held his breath, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible; before you had the chance to hear how his heart was racing.

‘’Oh, and Heeseung?’’ You let out after a moment, Heeseung only humming in response as he tried his best to focus on the text that stood written on the screen of your laptop, his eyes skimming through the text he couldn’t seem to make any sense of - maybe because he wasn’t actually concentrating. ‘’You remember how you told me you’d do anything for me to work with you on this project?’’

Heeseung gulped as he felt your breath fan across his neck as you spoke, ‘’Yeah?’’ 

‘’I want you to kiss me.’’

Almost choking on his own saliva, your words causing him to freeze; his eyes no longer skimming through the text.

He stayed still, feeling your eyes burning into his side profile as he remained in the same position, trying his best to comprehend the words that had just left your lips. You wanted him to kiss you?

Your warm hand coming into contact with the skin covering his cheek almost caused him to flinch, your hand gently cupping his cheek as you forced him to look at you. You swore that your heart almost stopped beating as soon as his big eyes met your own, his eyes wide and staring at you in pure shock. 

Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips, your own bottom lip placed in between your teeth as your eyes landed on his plump, pink lips. The lips you had caught yourself staring at one too many times during these past few weeks.

Heeseung didn’t even get to fully comprehend the position he currently found himself in before he suddenly felt your soft lips press against his own.

The kiss was soft, Heeseung staring at you with wide eyes as he watched your eyes fluttering shut, your hand still placed on the side of his cheek as you gently pulled yourself towards him. Heeseung wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to kiss you back; but he just couldn’t. Instead, the shock of feeling your lips press against his own took over all his senses as he felt your thumb gently stroke his cheek, your lips still pressed against his own.

You quickly sensed that Heeseung wasn’t kissing you back, causing you to pull away; guilt overtaking you, had he not wanted you to kiss him?

Heeseung, however, almost let out a whine at the loss of contact. So he did what he deemed appropriate, bringing his own shaky hand towards your face; cupping your cheek before pulling you in for another kiss.

This time, his eyes fluttered shut as soon as he felt your lips press against his own again. He could tell that you wanted to kiss him just as bad by the way your other hand suddenly found its way to his other cheek, pulling him even closer to you; letting your lips mesh together.

Heeseung had never kissed anyone in his entire life. He had no idea how to kiss, he had no idea what to do with his hands nor did he know what to do with his mouth. So he let you press yourself against him, almost letting out a whine when your front teeth collided with your own, feeling embarrassed. The embarrassment, however, left the second he heard a giggle trail fo your lips before once again placing your lips on top of his.

He wanted to touch you, he wanted to bring you even closer to him, he wanted to feel more of you; his hand gripping onto the hair behind your ear as he forced you closer to him, your lips still leaving small pecks on top of his own. The whimper that left your lips when his fingers brushed through your hair, however, wasn’t something he had anticipated - causing the hair on his arms to stand upright.

Not once had he thought a whimper would make his heart melt, yet it did.

It also seemed like his fingers brushing through your hair caused you to want more as he suddenly felt you swiping your tongue across the bottom of his lip. Uncertain of what to do and slightly panicking, he pulled away; staring at you with wide eyes. You seemed to pick up on his uncertainty almost immediately, brushing your own fingers through his hair in an attempt to ease his nerves before pulling him back into a kiss.

Your attempt at easing his nerves definitely worked as he let your tongue enter his mouth, your wet muscle coming into contact with his own. Heeseung swore he could’ve let out a whine at the feeling of your tongue nudging his own while your lips moving in sync, gripping onto your hair even harder in an attempt to somewhat ground himself.

Him gripping onto your hair only seemed to fuel you on even further as he suddenly felt you move the laptop that he had placed in his lap before quickly moving his own as well, placing it in front of him before climbing onto his lap. You kept your lips attached to his own, both your hands now finding their way to his hair as you further deepened the kiss.

Heeseung still had no idea what to do, especially now that you were sitting on top of him, his heart only beating faster as he felt your hands leave his hair - only to grab onto his own. ‘’It’s okay, you can touch me,’’ You mumbled, guiding his hands towards your waist before placing them there, causing Heeseung to gulp as he grabbed onto the fabric of your shirt covering your waist.

You pressed your forehead against his own, his lips more plump than usual and his breathing heavier than usual from your shared kiss, his eyes meeting yours. ‘’Do you want me to take off my glasses?’’ He stuttered, scared that they were in the way of you kissing him.

You quickly shook your head as your hands found their way up the sides of his neck, cupping both his cheeks again. ‘’No, I want you to keep them on.’’

Heeseung was about to protest, but had no time to do so as you stole his next breath away by pressing your lips against his own once more. Not that he complained, the only thing he wanted right now was to kiss you, with glasses on or not - it didn’t matter to him as long as he got to feel your lips.

The kiss was quick to turn rough, Heeseung trying his best to copy what you were doing, moving his lips the same way you were moving yours. Heeseung couldn’t help but feel blood rush to the apples of his cheeks as he felt your breasts press against his chest, scrunching up even more fabric in his fists as he pulled you even closer.

It almost felt euphoric to him, having your tongue slip into his mouth and your lips meshing together. It felt unreal, almost like he was dreaming; until you grinding yourself against his crotch brought him back to reality.

Almost like a thunderbolt hit him, his whole body tensed up as his fingers let go if the fabric of your shirt - quickly placing his hands on top of your thighs. His hand landing on your thighs caused your slow movements to come to an abrupt end, pulling away from the kiss to look at him. 

With his big, doe eyes staring right back at you, the fingertips of his hands pressing into your clothed thighs, he shook his head.

Not because he didn’t want to feel your clothed core grinding on his own clothed crotch, God, no, there was nothing he’d rather feel right now. But he also knew that his euphoria would be short-lived if he let this go on any further, knowing that he most definitely wouldn’t be able to please you if it did end up going that far.

‘’I’m so sorry, I got carried away,’’ You mumbled, your hands slowly slipping away from his face and slightly using your knees to hover just above his crotch; Heeseungs eyes widening as the words left your lips. Why were you apologizing?

‘’No,’’ He let out as he grabbed onto your wrist before they left his face completely, ‘’I want to, Y/N,’’ His breathing was still uneven and he almost stumbled over his own words as he spoke, his eyes still staring into yours to show you that he was being genuine, wanting you to know that you hadn’t done anything wrong. Guiding your hands back onto his cheeks, he frowned.

You just stared at him, puzzled. ‘’So why are you saying no?’’ You whimpered, pressing your forehead against his. With a frown still plastered on his face, he felt his cheeks heat up once more as he realized how stupid he was about to sound.

‘’Because, I haven’t done this before, and I just, I want to be able to please you? I’m not saying that we’ll have sex, oh god, I mean, unless you want us to? I just want you to feel good too a-and I don’t think I’d be able to do th-’’

Heeseung didn’t even get the chance to continue his rambling before a small whine emerged from the back of his throat, suddenly feeling you press your lips right below his ear. 

The feeling of your wet lips pressing a soft kiss against his sensitive skin caused his eyes to flutter shut, the new sensation taking over his body.

‘’You’re thinking too much, Heeseung,’’ You whispered against this skin, leaving yet another wet kiss right below his jawline, ‘’Just let me make you feel good, okay?’’

Thinking was what Heeseung did best, especially in moments where he felt stressed out - like right now, for example. But with your lips pressing soft, wet kisses against his neck he suddenly felt like he couldn’t think straight for the first time in his entire life; especially when he felt you press your lower body against his own once more.

Through gritted teeth, a small hiss left Heeseung’s lips, his hands now placed on top your thighs again; his eyes fluttered shut as he let you slowly grind yourself against him, only nodding in encouragement when Heeseung slightly tilted his head to the side - making it hard for the boy not to dig his nails into your clothed thighs in an attempt to tell you he was enjoying it.

Was it too early for him to get hard?

He couldn’t help but gulp as he felt his cock beginning to grow in his pants, how could it not, when he had you grinding yourself against him so carelessly? Scared that you’d feel the tent beginning to form in the crotch of his pants, he uncomfortably shifted around; which caused you to shake your head. ‘’It’s okay Heeseung.’’ Your soft voice echoed right beside his ear, his heart beginning to race as he felt you push yourself down even more, and if you hadn’t felt his now semi hard cock before - you most definitely did now.

Your hands trailed down his stomach, Heeseung’s breath hitching in his throat as he felt your hands playing with the waistband of his pants; your lips still pressing innocent kisses against his throat by the time your fingers began playing with the zipper of his jeans. His eyes fluttered open, he wanted to see what you were doing, he wanted to see what you were doing to him; see what you were doing that could possibly have this effect on him.

Maybe he should’ve kept his eyes shut, because the sight in front of him was definitely too much to take in all at once. With your head still dipped in between the crook of his neck and one of your hands resting on his chest as the other one continued playing with the zipper of his jeans, he couldn’t help but let the whimper that had been threatening to leave his throat escape.

His whimper, however, was quickly replaced by a low groan as he felt your palm press against his now almost fully hard cock. A small hum of satisfaction left your lips, the vibrations of you humming against his skin sending shivers through his body. With you now slowly palming him on top of his pants, he couldn’t help the whimpers now continuously trailing off his lips, slightly buckling his hips so he could feel more of you.

He had been too lost in the bliss of your hand slowly stroking his clothed hard-on to notice the way you had separated your lips from the skin of his neck. It wasn’t until he felt your hand leave his crotch that he realized you had stopped kissing his neck and were now looking right at him, his eyes meeting yours.

You had to hold back a whine yourself as your eye met his, his big doe eyes bigger than usual as he questionably looked at you, almost like he was begging for you to continue. ‘’Do you trust me?’’ Heeseung nodded a little too eagerly to your question, causing you to press a soft kiss against his lips. ‘’Then let me make you feel good.’’

Heeseung swore that his whole body went into shock when you separated his thighs, placing yourself in between them before moving further down the bed; his eyes widening as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, your face now on the same level as his crotch.

This was a sight Heeseung never thought he’d see in his entire life, not with anyone and especially not with you.

‘’Is this okay?’’ Your voice brought him out of his daze, his lips still parted as he realized he had only been staring at you. Gulping, he slowly nodded.

Heeseung had already felt his cheeks heat up the second you got in between his thighs, but now that you were unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants before sliding them down his legs; he had never felt more embarrassed and vulnerable in his entire life.

And the fact that you were now staring right at the outline of his hard-on, his underwear being the only thing separating you from actually seeing his cock, made him feel even more embarrassed. He placed his hands over his face as he felt his face heat up even more. Maybe this was a bad idea, a terrible idea even, forcing his eyes shut; not wanting to see the disappointment lingering in your gaze.

You, however, were anything but disappointed. You couldn’t help your jaw going slack the second your eyes landed on his very prominent outline, a small gasp almost leaving your lips as your fingertips slowly grabbed onto his still clothed cock; giving it a gentle squeeze, earning a low groan from Heeseung. 

You must’ve noticed the way he was still hiding behind his hands, causing you to lightly tap his now exposed thighs. He slowly opened his eyes, separating his fingers so he could look at you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. ‘’Is it okay if I take them off?’’ Not finding the strength to speak, he only nodded in response. He took a deep breath as he felt you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down his legs.

As he felt his hard cock spring up, hitting his lower stomach; another hiss of both embarrassment and desperation trailed off his lips, followed by him covering his eyes using his hands once again. He simply just could not look at you, scared that he’d faint from the amount of awkwardness he felt by you staring at his now fully exposed cock.

‘’Heeseung, baby,’’ The nickname leaving your lips accompanied by a chuckle caused the now red boy to look at you from behind his hands once more, ‘’Don’t hide, there’s nothing to feel embarrassed about, okay?’’

Another groan emerged from the back of his throat as he slowly let his hand slip away from his face, hesitant to look at you; scared that you’d laugh at him or make fun of him for blushing so hard. But you never did, no, instead he suddenly felt you grab onto his girth, causing his eyes to immediately land on you.

Using one of your hands to experimentally stroke his cock, your lips parted in awe. You never would’ve thought that Lee Heeseung, the boy you once swore you hated, would have such a nice cock; his tip red for the lack of attention and throbbing in your hand. You leaned forwards, looking back up at him through your lashes before pressing a soft kiss against the tip.

The new feeling was almost enough for Heeseung to cum right there and then. His lips parted as he tried holding back a groan, failing miserably to do so as he watched you kiss yet another kiss to the tip of his cock; a small smile forming on your lips as you watch the boy laying in front of you melt into your touch.

Still slowly stroking it using one of your hands, you continued peppering kisses all over his tip, enjoying the way he squirmed around at the sensation. You then stuck your tongue out, leaving a wet trail from the base of his cock all the way to the tip, pushing Heeseung over the edge. He was about to tell you to please make him feel good and stop teasing him, you, however; seemed to already be on it as you wrapped your lips around his cock.

A loud groan left his lips in surprise as he felt your wet mouth wrap around his tip, followed by a hiss; his hands gripping onto the sheets as he tried his best not to buckle his hips forwards, wanting to feel your mouth on his entire cock. You pulled your lips off his cock with a pop, causing Heeseung to almost whine as he grew even more desperate.

But with you being quick to take his cock into your mouth once again, this time more of his cock filling your mouth; he never got the chance to even whine, not before you started slowly bobbing your head up and down.

With your lips now fully wrapped around his cock, all the nights he had spent in the darkness of his room tugging at his own cock, whimpering out your name as his own cum coated his stomach didn’t feel as perverted anymore.

Not that your tongue swirling around the tip of his cock felt anything like his right hand tugging at his own cock, no, his right hand couldn’t even remotely compare to your mouth now that he had experienced the bliss of your plump lips almost touching the base of his cock.

Heeseung felt like he was dreaming. Even though he had thought about your lips one too many times in the darkness of his room during the past few weeks, something he felt ashamed of admitting, he never thought he would actually get to experience it. In a way, it almost felt unreal - but the moan you let out around his cock, the vibrations causing a grunt to leave his lips reminding him that it was, in fact, real.

He wasn’t sure of just how loud he was being, not being able to stop the small whimpers and groans spilling past his lips; but one of his hands had somehow shakily made its way into your hair, pulling your head down in an attempt to relieve the throbbing of his cock. Every time your tongue swirled around his tip, he tensed up, the knot forming in his stomach telling him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.

He hoped that you understood that this was his first time and that the new feeling overwhelmed him, hence why he was gripping onto your hair and slightly lifting his hips off the mattress underneath him - desperately trying to mutter something about being close.

With him stuttering something under his breath, your eyes darted up to look at him. The sight in front of you almost caused you to let out a moan, his hair sticking to his forehead as he pressed his head into the pillow placed underneath his head; giving you a clear sight of his adam’s apple moving up and down as a result of him gulping, his lips slightly parted as another whimper left his lips.

He looked even prettier like that.

‘’Y/N,’’ He managed to stutter out, gathering even more hair in his fist as you hummed against the tip of his cock, your eyes still glued to him. ‘’I think I’m going to cum,’’

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before the knot in his stomach snapped, a loud groan leaving his lips as he thrusted his hip forwards, not being able to control his own body as his orgasm washed over him. He was too busy trying to stay conscious as his overwhelming orgasm caused his whole body to tense up to even realize that he had unknowingly pushed your head down, your throat closing around his cock as his white seed shot down your throat only heightening his high.

With small whimpers trialing of his lips and his eyes tightly shut, he felt you pull your mouth away from his now twitching cock, droplets of his own release dropping onto his abdomen as his hand slowly let go of your hair he had bunched up in his fists.

It took a while for the boy to catch his breath, seeing stars as his eyes finally fluttered open, seeing the outline of you through his blurry vision.

Wait, did he just cum in your mouth? Without your permission?

Embarrassment shot through the boy's body, his eyes widening as he blinked; his eyes meeting yours, panic now slightly starting to set in as watched you stared at him with your lips slightly parted. ‘’I-I’m so sorry,’’ He managed to stutter out, placing his hands on both sides of his body before propping himself up so he was sitting upright.

You, on the other hand, just stared at the boy - appalled.

He had indeed just spilled his own release down your throat without any warning, and maybe you should’ve been angry with him; but how could you, when you could feel your own wetness seeping out of your hole? 

‘’I couldn’t stop myself, I promise I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry,’’ He continued rambling, the panic now being clear as day as he spoke, ‘’I’ve just never, felt so g-good before and it happened before I could sto-’’

Feeling you place yourself on top of his lap once more and smashing your lips against his own, he stopped speaking. The kiss was messy, your lips harshly moving against his own as his spit mixed with yours, combined with the taste of his own cum. The sudden kiss took him by surprise, your clothed core coming into contact with his already sensitive cock causing him to hiss against your lips. You, however, didn’t stop; a low whine leaving his throat as he felt you bite down on his lip.

‘’What are you doing?’’ He managed to whimper out as you pulled away for a second, taking in the sight in front of you. His lips were now slightly bruised, a result of your lips meshing together with his and you nibbling on his bottom lip; his doe eyes were big as he stared right back at you. Fuck, why did he have to look so pretty?

‘’You don’t think I’m done with you, do you?’’

Heeseung gulped, ‘’Y-you’re not mad at me?’’

A small chuckle left your throat, using your thumb to stroke his cheek. ‘’You’re so fucking stupid sometimes, you know that right?’’

Heeseung knew he wasn’t stupid. Heeseung was a lot of things, but stupid most certainly wasn’t one of those things; well, at least for now - knowing he’d probably be beyond dumb by the time you were done with him.

[cannellee]

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆

୨୧ alpha! taiju x alpha! kokonoi x alpha! inupi x omega! reader

my masterlist : ☆

tw : yandereish(?), some red flags, sex, breeding kink, slight oral (f!receiving)...

(I tried something that has been on my mind for a while now, I'm not exactly satisfied of what I wrote but I'll probably write more scenarios of them in the future to make up for it!)

there's definitely a clear hierarchy inside your little pack. with, of course, taiju on top of it all. his supremacy actually wasn't decided by worth or anything, but by a primal sense of submission none of you could fight off.

kokonoi and inupi are fine with it, as they still get to be close to you. they're glad taiju has accepted them enough to allow them to approach you. in fact, if taiju was to deny them of your affection, they wouldn't really be able to do anything. he is just way too strong for them.

but they feel linked to him and are very loyal, so there wouldn't be any valid reason for taiju to just throw them out of your pack. it's even safe to say that taiju does appreciate their company.

but don't be mistaken, kokonoi and inupi aren't powerless and do have an influence and a role to play. taiju isn't a dictator, it's far from the reality to assume that the three of you are abused by his bad temper.

kokonoi has quite the temper himself and speaks up whenever he thinks something is not right. whenever taiju is being too rough with you for example, gripping your wrist with just too much strength. kokonoi will clearly not let it slide, telling him to be more careful around you.

on the other hand, inupi is more laidback. he cares so much about your wellbeing, but simply trusts kokonoi to protect you. what he does best is reassuring you after a particularly lively argument between your alphas. shielding you from the bloody scene before you, whenever taiju gets mad at someone.

it rotates though, with either kokonoi or inupi staying with you. but what doesn't change is taiju, who's always leading the assault on the poor soul who crossed their paths.

inupi analyses your reactions and emotions, he knows what triggers you, what makes you happy... he has the chance to spend more time with you, as taiju and kokonoi are the ones ensuring your safety. it wouldn't be the case if it was just the two of you, so he's thankful.

kokonoi and inupi aren't particularly aggressive, but it doesn't mean they'll stop taiju's blinded rage and jealousy. they'll even join him sometimes, if the fight is justified. but it's too much of a bother to try and get him to listen, so they just witness the carnage. the good thing is that it reinforces the fear others feel whenever they look at you, knowing who is looking out for you...

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kokonoi finds it funny how you manage to turn the big and scary taiju into a tamed alpha. that's when realises just how much taiju loves you. despite his rough appearance, he would never hurt you willingly.

there are times when his protective instincts become overbearing. he's fiercely loyal, and driven by a need to keep his precious omega safe. while his intentions are genuine, his actions can come across as controlling.

that's when kokonoi and inupi intervene. you might not see anything wrong with taiju's behaviour, thinking it's only right to let his instincts decide on what to do. but kokonoi isn't all pleased when his omega starts going outside less and less.

he wants to be able to do all sorts of stuff with you and confronts taiju for his lack of consideration. inupi softly scolds you for not saying anything and just playfully pinches your cheek when you answer that it's fine with you.

taiju doesn't want his omega to feel trapped, albeit your reassuring words, he's hesitant. so he'll listen to his friends, like he always do. he knows they want the best for you, that's why he isn't doubting their intentions.

when you're spending time together outside, taiju again starts to act all intimidating. for your own sake. "taiju, stop being so mean to everyone! I was only talking to my friend!", you scold him after catching him sending daggers to your friend. he didn't mean to make them run away, he was just looking out for you, making sure he wasn't planning anything funny.

kokonoi is quick to buy you a treat afterwards, teasing you for being so cute when you're mad. you don't stay annoyed for too long though, preferring to chat with inupi.

                                     · · ୨୧ · ·

you're the heart of the relationship. their lives literally turn around their omega.

kokonoi is calling you multiple times a day and delivers cute gifts to you. inupi likes to come to your house unannounced with sweets he knows you love. taiju actually prefers to spend the day napping with you, cuddling in the safety of your nest. he'd rather have you close to him than anywhere else, he wants to know where you are as it appeases him.

taiju surprisingly is a great cook and overall great at any domestic task. so he'll express his love through acts of service, by cooking your favourite meals, running errands for you and anything you might ask of him. he's the definition of provide and protect.

he's a great listener, acting as an attentive support. you can share your concerns with him, although he might lash out later on if your sadness was provoked by someone else.

inupi frequently reminds you of how much he loves you, verbally expressing the deep affection he has. he likes to be intimate with his omega, so he'd rather build your relationship around trust and loyalty. you're really grateful for how compassionate and gentle inupi is with you.

kokonoi feels the need to shower you with excessive affection to make sure you feel loved. you told him countless of times you didn't need all of that, but he's still sending you gifts and taking you to cute and romantic dates with the others, although they're mostly planned by him. inupi and taiju fully trust him for this matter.

kokonoi wants you to know they'll always be there with you. he wants you to rely on them, because they'll do anything to provide a stable life for you.

                                     · · ୨୧ · ·

as I said, taiju isn't a tyrant and while he seems a bit aggressive, his pack's harmony is what matters the most in his eyes, along with your safety.

kokonoi is assertive and it complements taiju's nurturing nature. inupi is the soft side you need, and your support whenever you disagree with a decision that was made, especially if it's about you.

kokonoi and taiju often agree about how they should treat you ; if going out at this party is a good idea, if you should stay at home and stop working because clearly they can provide for you...

inupi does see the good in their choices but doesn't like they way you're left unsatisfied and frustrated. your scent often takes a sour note and while kokonoi tries to reason you by calmly describing why you should listen to them, inupi doesn't like the smell of your pheromones. he negotiates for you and often comes out victorious because your pouting and sulking face is just too much for them to not give in.

                                     · · ୨୧ · ·

during your heats, there is also a definite order. they don't like sharing you during such a vulnerable time of yours.

taiju goes first, rough and aggressive. he wants to breed you, nothing else. you awake such a strong sense of duty in him, he doesn't even prep you, judging you're just wet enough for him to start pounding into you. he's strong and you're so tiny, he's splitting your body in two, with his big hands solidly holding your legs up, knees touching your chest.

taiju makes you cry tears of pleasure, absolutely wrecking you and turning you into a mess. by the time he's finished with you and kokonoi takes his place, you're all pretty and obedient, ready to submit to whatever your alphas will do and say.

kokonoi likes seeing you so meek. you're already crying for his cock the second he enters the room and if your aroused scent didn't already, you can be sure the sight of his cute omega begging for him is enough to send blood rushing to his length.

he wastes no time in indulging in your desires, practically losing himself as well in the moment. while not violent at all, he's still vigorous and thrusts into you just how you like it. he bites and claims you, licking your already bruised skin. your scent is completely washed away, the musky ones of taiju and kokonoi sticking to your skin instead.

he fucks you from behind, loving the way the flesh of your ass bounces with each thrust. there's something about this position which just feels so right. seeing his omega so docile is honestly so rewarding and it satisfies his instincts.

lastly, you'll end up in the ends of the lovely inupi. he'll take his sweet time with you, knowing he's the last. he will kiss you everywhere, licking the hickeys left by his two friends before him. he's so patient and so kind that you become calmer and less impatient as well. you know inupi is gonna take good care of you, so you savour each of his actions.

he'll start by pushing his tongue inside of your pulsating core, lapping at your juices and remains of cum. your scent here is so strong it's almost too much for him too continue without instantly burying his hard cock inside you. but he has an insane self control and hearing you moan so loudly at his touches makes his alpha purr with pride.

by the time you've come at least a couple of times on his tongue and fingers, he's finally giving you the real thing. your senses are even more alert and inupi loves your glossy eyes. he fucks you gently, carefully praising his oh so perfect omega.

at the end of your heat, you're exhausted and completely weak, although very satisfied. your alphas know exactly what you need and how you need it and they always give it to you without any delay.

they take care of your trembling form, carrying you to the bathtub and tenderly massaging your poor muscles.

they never forget to tell you how much they love you and how grateful they are to have you in their lives. even taiju has his open hearted moments, where he confesses just how much of a blessing you represent.

[loveshotzz]

Authors Note:This is my submission for @sparklingsin ‘s ‘Spookinktober’ my prompt word was pumpkin. Obviously I got carried away. Tumblr was being a bitch so ignore the editing and typos please. It literally has paragraphs disappear when I go to edit it, so it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: SMUT (18plus) NO MINORS. Choking, spanking, slight dom!eddie and bratty reader.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Laurie Strode’s scream filled your ears as you shoved the carving knife into your pumpkin.

“Jesus sweetheart, watch your fingers.” Eddie had been watching you through out this entire process with apprehensive eyes. Not known for your grace he wasn’t trying to take you to the emergency room on Halloween night. Again.

“Jesus Eddie, I’m fine.” Rolling your eyes hard you continue your assault on your pumpkin doing your best to make it look like the one on the VHS cover of Halloween the movie you were watching.

“Just.. be careful.” Warm hands on your shoulders Eddie places a chaste kiss on the crown of your head. “I’m gonna go get out of these jeans really quick, don’t cut your fingers off.”

Dropping your knife with a loud huff you knew he didn’t mean anything by it, in fact his fear was valid having taken you to get stitches on more then one occasion you just couldn’t help but be a brat.

“Look, I’ll stop while I’m unsupervised Dad.” Raising your hands in the air Eddie’s eyes narrow at your attitude from the hallway. Shaking his head he turns back around muttering under his breath.

The sound of Michael’s notorious music brings your attention back to the small TV in his living room. The soft glow of it making the everything look that much more cozy, one of the many reasons you always preferred hanging out here rather then your parents house. Eddie didn’t understand it but it was home to you.

Eyes flicking back to the movie your breath catches in your throat when you see Michael wrap his hands tightly around a woman’s throat. Pushing her against the wall with force, he lifts her up a few inches in the air. Biting your bottom lip the heat rises to your cheeks when your thighs press themselves together. The familiar tingling in your gut that usually only Eddie brought out in you makes your toes curl.

So distracted you didn’t hear Eddie sneak back in the room, his plan to scare a smile out of you with Red’s Michael mask was put on pause when he saw the way you were staring at the TV. The familiar glaze covering your eyes he takes in your body language eyes trailing back to the TV where he saw exactly what was happening.

He knew you liked being choked in the bedroom from time to time but this was a little more aggressive then what he was used to doing to you. Fingers fiddling in your lap he knew you had it bad. Smirking to himself under the mask he was glad you were being a little brat.

Eddie clears his throat snapping you out of your lust filled daze, mouth going dry at the sight in front of you. In nothing but black sweat pants that rested low on his hips and a Michael mask Eddie was the epitome of your own personal wet dream right now. Gulping loudly you’re left speechless as he starts to stalk over to you, the playfulness he came in with gone.

“What’s going on in here huh?” His voice is low behind the latex of the mask. “You only ever look at me that way. What’s got you so worked up pretty girl?”

Your own nerves getting the best of you despite knowing it was just your goofy loving boyfriend underneath, you couldn’t help but push yourself off your chair scrambling to get away from him.

“Eddie, come on.” Whining the heat rises to your cheeks excitement mixing with the embarrassment of being caught.

“Does my girl like it rough? Is that it?” You can hear the smile in his conceding tone as his long strides bring him closer. The muscles in his abdomen flexing slightly with each movement of his legs. He’s never looked sexier to you.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Changing the octave in your voice trying to sound more innocent, you lay it on thick noticing the tent that started to form in his sweats.

“No? Do I need to remind you?” Closing the distance with quick steps his ringed fingers wrap tightly around you throat shoving you hard enough against the wall it has Wayne’s coffee mugs clinking together on impact.

Unable to stop the loud moan that falls from your mouth, your eyes close tight as his rings bite into the sensitive skin underneath his hold. Pushing your legs apart with his knee, he slots himself between them the top of his thigh pressing tightly against your aching core. Wiggling your hips your body searches for friction on its own accord.

Squeezing tighter he tuts at you from under the mask.

“Behave yourself baby, I’m just reminding you of what you seemed to of forgotten.” Flexing the muscle of his thigh against your heat, your head lulls back into his hold. You were putty in his hands like this and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Is this why you were being such a brat earlier? You were hoping I’d get the picture huh? That you just wanted me to punish you.” The last two words coming out from between clenched teeth his hold getting tighter for a minute before he lets it go. Removing his leg from between yours without warning your feet hit the ground with a light thud.

Ripping the mask off there’s a light sheen of sweat coating his forehead making his bangs stick to his skin, chocolate pools blown into black Eddie was just as effected by this as you. The knowledge adding more slick to the coating that was already inside your panties.

He takes a minute to search your face for any trace of discomfort but all he sees is how your pupils have dilated so much there was no color left. You’ve always looked at him like you were attracted to him but you never looked at him like this. His erection becoming almost painful against the soft fabric of his sweats when he thinks about how wet you must be. Grabbing your face between his ringed hand he squeezes your cheeks together before slotting his lips roughly against yours. Sighing in his mouth your tongue meets his eagerly before he rips himself away trying to keep himself calm enough to remain in control.

“Turn around.” His voice is quiet but his tone is demanding and he watches the internal battle of wanting to behave or be a brat happen across your face before you finally give in turning around. “Hands on the wall.”

When your palms hit the smooth paint of the walls you weren’t expecting the first smack. Eddie’s open hand making harsh contact with your right butt cheek, the metal hitting hard enough you’re sure there will be a bruise there in the morning.

“That was for having to think about listening to me. I saw that.” Pushing himself flush against your back his voice sends shivers down your spine as his lips ghost over the shell of your ear with each word. With his hard cock pushing against your covered entrance part of you feels like this might actually be torture. Your hips seek friction but his firm grip on them holds you in place.

“Be good.” The condescending way he sings good makes you want to be anything but. The need to cum overpowering your pride you decide to stay still.

Nipping at your ear lobe you feel Eddie start to work his way down your body. Big hands slide down your curves squeezing and kneading at the flesh as he makes his way down to the tops of your jeans. Popping open the front buttons with quick fingers he starts tugging them down your legs leaving a small bite on each ass cheek when they pool at your ankles. Cupping under the curve of each cheek he pulls them apart so he can see if you’re as wet he he thinks you are.

“Fuck baby, all this for me?” Breaking his dominant character a strangled moan leaves his throat at how your panties are completely soaked through. Pushing his face in between your covered folds he inhales deeply the tip of his nose brushing against your swollen nub.

Shaking legs beg to give out on top of him as your finger nails scrape against the wall, the needy whine you give echos through the trailer and you swear you feel him chuckle against you.

Calloused fingers grip the sides of your panties yanking them down to join at your feet with the denim of your jeans. Another loud moan leaves his swollen lips when he sees your slick glisten against the newly exposed skin of your cunt.

“I’m gonna take care of it pretty girl don’t worry.” Mumbling to himself he pushes your legs further apart, you knew he was coming but you still gasped when his tongue licked a long stripe through your folds. “God you taste even better when you’re this worked up, you’ve been holding on out me.” Another unexpected smack to your ass sends your body forward slightly.

“Eddie, please, please.” Your pleading comes out breathless while your body feels like it might actually combust if he doesn’t fuck you.

Smack

“Please what?” Pushing himself off the ground you can feel him crowd behind you, the rough hair of his happy trail scraping against the small of your back while an arm loops around you. Fingers gripping tight around your neck again he pulls your head back so you can meet his eyes. “Use your words.”

Pushing your ass against his hard cock that sat nestled between your cheeks you don’t care anymore how pathetic you might sound.

“Please Eddie, fuck me, I need you to fuck me.” stomping your feet it comes out as if you’re throwing a fit. “I’ve needed it all day.”

“I could tell by the way you were behaving, don’t worry I’ll make sure to fuck that attitude right out of you.” His grip leaves your throat before both hands find a place on either side of your hips pulling them back before an open palm pushes your back down. Angling you perfectly for him to control the pace.

Positioning himself with legs on either side of you his hands only leave your body long enough to push his sweat pants down his thighs, hissing when the cool air hits the leaking head of his cock. Giving himself a few pumps he pulls you in closer by your hips, swiping himself between your folds coating his thick mushroom head with your slick before stretching out your walls with one quick thrust.

Your voice gets caught in your throat at the feeling of him splitting you in half. Slapping the wall in front of you tears prickle at the corners of your eyes at how good it feels after being worked up for so long.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” grunting his thrusts are slow at first wanting to savor the feeling of your silky walls sucking him. The way you shudder against him has his eyes roll in the back of his head with each push your own hips start to meet his.

Blaming lack of self control you can’t help but try and set a faster pace, the slow build up in your gut not moving at the speed you were so desperate for. Eddie struggles to meet the movement of your hips snapping him out of the pussy drunk state he had slipped into when he was met with the wetness of your walls.

His fingers dig deep into your hips bruising the the soft skin underneath stilling your motions, keeping you in place his right hands releases its grip on you to smack your ass even harder then the times before. Biting your lip the string makes you clench around him earning a strangled moan from behind you.

“Such a dirty girl, who knew you were hiding all of this from me.” Smoothing a hand down your back his hips finally start setting a pace that satisfies the dull throb in your gut.

The sound of skin slapping against skin is the only thing that can be heard in the trailer, the grunts and whimpers leaving both of you without abandon drown out the slasher movie on in the background.

The hand that laid on on the small of your back snakes it way to the front of you with gentle pressure on your stomach he pushes you flush against his chest. The new angle making him hit a spot so deep it had you seeing stars behind your closed lid. Jaw going slack your mouth open his a silent scream as his rough fingers start drawing relentless circles on your clit.

“Eddie, eddie, eddie.” Your voice is unrecognizable when his name comes tumbling out of your mouth like a chant.

“Cum for me pretty girl, be a good girl and cum for me.” Lips pressed against your ear his voice sends a shiver down your spine clenching yourself even harder around him. A cocky laugh leaving his mouth at the feeling of how his words were effecting you.

Applying more pressure with his fingers it’s enough to finally send you over the edge, vision going white as your orgasm vibrates through your body like an earthquake. Shaking around him in a way he’s never felt before mixed with the hard clamp of your walls as you come undone on top of him has his following closely after yours. Cock twitching against your constricting walls the tail end of our orgasm milks his even further. Burying his head in the crook of your neck he moans loudly against your skin. His open mouth leaves a trail of drool that starts to slide down the curve of your neck as he tries to catch his breath. Hot ropes of his cum paint your insides. Leaning forward one hand grips your hips to hold you in place while the other lays flat against the wall holding your weight up.

It takes you both a minute to collect yourself before either of your make the effort to move or speak to each other, your bodies completely spent.

“So clearly there was a kink of yours I didn’t know about.” Eddie chuckles placing a chaste kiss on your cheek before making sure both your feet were flat on the floor. Pulling himself out slowly you both whimper at the loss of contact. The grip on your hips only loosens when he feels your start to balance yourself, they hover until he thinks your safe to do it on your own.

Heat rising to your cheeks you can’t fight the shyness that breaks through when you feel the remains of him start to drip down your thighs. Noticing the way your eyes won’t meet his, he grips your chin with his thumb and his index finger gently brining your attention back up to him.

“I liked it. I liked it a lot. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” Kissing the tip of your nose he grabs a handful of your ass jiggling it playfully before pushing you towards the bathroom.

“Get in the shower, let me clean this up and I’ll meet you in there in a minute.” A devilish smirk graces his lips before adding. “And then we’ll rewind the movie as long as you promise not to get worked up again.”

Groaning loudly you crumple up a piece of newspaper that you had been carving your pumpkins on throwing it at him before stomping away. Slamming the door for good measure there was a part of you that hoped he’d come in here and do it all over again.

[miss-mollys-ballet-blog]

Middle School Classroom Management Tips

We all know that classroom management courses in teacher prep programs are worthless 99% of the time. These are some things I've learned in 7 years of teaching 8th grade that work for me.

The Teacher Look. My middle schoolers HATE it when you just hold direct eye contact silently. You don't need to look mean or angry, just slightly stern and hold eye contact. You don't say, "I'll wait" or anything, just look at them. You can change the look around as well, ranging from definitely more stern and strict to one of, "yeah you're being hilarious and amusing, but we have to stop now", to a "look at your choices please". One of my personal favorites is a slight rising of a single eyebrow, a tilt of the head, and resting my face on folded hands.

Seats. This is probably going to be unpopular, but I let my students pick their seats on the first day. I then tell them that they can keep these seats as long as they work, however if I need to make a seating chart, I will. I also make it a competition between my classes about which class will go the longest without making a seating chart. It also allows you to see the natural dynamics of the class and who does and doesn't work well together.

Non-verbal communication. From facial expressions to gestures to even the way you stand or sit or WHERE you position yourself in the classroom. The kids hear teachers scold and yell at them all the time so they don't really care about that (a lot of kids find the yelling funny), so if you can use non-verbal communication or a very low and slow voice, they actually will listen because it's not what they're used to. This works especially well on a rowdy class that is not used to quiet because it's so different from anything else.

Consistency and fairness. Middle schoolers have a very strong sense of right and wrong/fair and unfair and will notice if you treat students differently. If I have a classroom expectation that if a kid is messing around on their laptop when they should do work and the consequence of that is doing a paper assignment and losing laptop privileges for the rest class, you have to follow that for EVERY kid. I don't care if that kid is normally a perfect angel, they still broke the expectation and deserves the consequence.

Explaining. I always give a reason why. "No, you can't go to the bathroom because Becky is out." "This assignment needs to be done without your notes so you can practice on your own and I can see what you know and don't know." "No eating in my class because the wrappers and crumbs end up on the floor and attract bugs." Most of the time if kids understand the reason for something, they're much more likely to follow it.

Clear and specific directions. Make your directions very clear and exactly what you want. If you're tired of getting, "Can I go to the bathroom?" when you ask if there's any questions, say, "What questions might you have about the assignment?" If a student who likes to get off topic raises their hand to ask a question, I like to ask, "Is this question directly related to what we're talking about?" A lot of the time that causes them to pause, think about their question, and most of the time we avoid getting off topic.

Allow talking and jokes and movement. The vast majority of the time, my students can talk and move around my classroom. As long as they aren't disrupting other students and getting their work done, go ahead and chit chat. There are specific times when they aren't allowed to talk, but other than that it's pretty chill.

Listening. A lot of the time kids will talk to you about their other teachers. Listen to what they say, as long as it doesn't turn into teacher bashing. I've learned a lot about what works with my students by hearing about how they react to their other teachers. I shut down teacher bashing, but if a kid has a valid concern/frustration OR they really like something another teacher does, why not take that into consideration? You don't tell the kid you're changing it because they brought it up, but file it away.

Apologize/recognize you make mistakes. Not only does it show you're human, it shows the kids you respect them AND it models appropriate behavior. I've noticed that kids in my classes are a lot more likely to apologize to both me and the other kids because they see me do it. Also, if you mess up with an adult you'd apologize, so why wouldn't you apologize to a kid??

Genuine and sincere. Don't try to bullshit kids, don't try to be someone you're not, and show the students you really care about them. For example, by the time the "bad" kids get to middle school, they know they're labeled that and they know the drill about teachers falsely praising them for even raising their hands. They know it's fake, they don't care, and it's insulting. A lot of the time those kids want to be treated like every other kid, so if they're behaving as they should, I treat them the same way I treat the other kids doing the same thing. I might tell them quietly, "Good job working hard today" as they leave, but I'm not going to fawn over them and turn it into an over the top project.

So yeah, those are my top 10 classroom management tips. Hopefully they can help someone!

[vtoriacore]

✧ it was just one magicam post!

note: this is just kinda a place holder piece before i post some yandere halloween stuff abt twst hehe but anyways, love writing semi jealous vil 🤭

synopsis: It had all started when you accidentally double tapped one of Neige's magicam posts while mindlessly scrolling through to pass some time, but a certain someone noticed a little too soon.

To you, it wasn't even that big of a deal and personally, you couldn't say you cared for Neige. He was just another big celebrity you would occasionally see every now and then on your for you page. That was all there was to it.

But of course, a certain someone had to blow it out of proportion and accuse you of favouritism a mere two or three minutes after you had liked the picture, still accidentally mind you.

"So this is how it's going to be, prefect?" Vil furrowed his eyebrows slightly, crossing his arms in the process.

"Be serious please, it was an accidental tap Vil. And besides, I'm allowed to like the pictures of whoever I want. I don't need you to try and direct who I'm allowed to follow or not," you rolled your eyes amidst all the frustration you felt, and your dearest friend seemed to take it personally.

"Oh? I'm directing you now, am I? I never once said you're not allowed to interact with other people's posts. This isn't about that," your own eyebrows furrowed at the statement as you felt a wave of confusion and even more indignation wash over you.

"Then what is the probelm? What could you possibly be so hung up over that you come to my dorm in almost no time to complain about me liking Neige's post?" you faced the blonde fully, maintaining eye contact which could only be described as tense.

"It's not important anymore. Now that I think about it, it doesn't matter." Except it clearly did matter with how sharply he turned his back on you, and how quickly he tried making his way out of your dorm. You weren't going to let him get away though, so naturally you stood up and followed after.

"Nu-uh. You're staying here and explaining what's bothering you, because it clearly is important," you grabbed Vil's wrist, preventing him from walking further as he turned around, a mixture of both bewilderment and slight agitation.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Vil sighed out, using his free hand pinch the bridge of nose, although he made no attempt to pull his other hand away.

"No. You brought it up and you will explain to me," your gaze bore into his lilac eyes.

You however, did not expect the blonde to avert his eyes from yours. And what was even more shocking, was the twinge of crimson peeking from underneath his foundation; it was clear he felt embarrassed which really made you realise that his coming over was a spur of the moment kind of deal.

"Well . . . You seem to like his pictures faster than you like mine," with a clear of his throat, Vil completely refused to look at your form as you couldn't help but let the fact that he, the Vil Schoenheit, was feeling jealous over something so minuscule (in your eyes, anyway).

"Vil . . . How do you even notice the timing, much less some random account liking pictures?" at that question, the celebrity standing right in front of you seemed down right offended as his eyes snapped back up to meet yours. With a scoff, he freed the wrist you were still clutching and just glared at you.

"That's all you have to say?"

"W- It's a valid question!"

"But it wasn't the point of my statement!"

"Well, I'm so sorry I want to know why you're stalking my online activity."

"What a ridiculous notion, as if I would do that. My notifications are simply on."

With a groan, you leaned against the wall, disbelief clouding your mind at this dumb argument. How did it even start anyway? Actually, you didn't want to remember. You just want to resolve this conflict and make sure that you and Vil are still on good terms at the end of the day.

"Okay, listen. The only reason I like Neige's pictures faster is that they always show up on my feed first. That's literally all there is to it," you took it upon yourself to break the silence as you observed Vil who seemee both relieved and hesitant at your answer.

"So you're not dat- Nevermind. I . . . Didn't mean to blow this out of proportion," although not really an apology, seeing how vulnerable your blonde friend seemed in that moment was enough for you to look past this silly argument.

Although the first part of his statement greatly intrigued you; Vil thought you were secretly dating Neige? A smile crept up on your face at a sudden realisation that answered your previous questions on all of Vil's actions up until this point.

"You know, you don't have to worry," you started, observing as Vil looked at you inquisitively, "about me dating someone else. I already have eyes for someone."

The grin on your face fully broke out as the lilac eyed boy cupped a hand over the lower half of his face, clearly not expecting a somewhat indirect confession. And you, being you of course, couldn't help but laugh at the state you put him in.

"D-don't say things of this magnitude so carelessly prefect! But regardless . . . I am glad to hear that, although I would've preferred a more romantic setting for such impromptu confession," from the way he was failing to hide his smile, you knew Vil was only teasing.

"In my defense, I was not expecting to get this kind of burst of confidence and basically tell you how I feel," the corners of your lips tugged up into a smile. You found yourself walking over to where he was standing, little pep in your step. The blonde could only watch in anticipation of what you were going to do - and it wasn't anything he was expecting, finding himself surprised for the nth time this evening by your actions.

However, when he felt your arms gently encircle his back, he couldn't help but immediately respond with an embrace of his own as the contentment he was previously longing to feel with you filled him to the brim.

"But you should also know something."

"Hm? What would that be?"

"I am absolutely never letting this go because it's actually kind of funny. Seeing you all frustrated over this and all," you snickered upon hearing a scoff.

"Tch. Well, I'm not planning on you letting your feelings known in such an atrocious manner either," there wasn't a single twinge of annoyance in his voice, and yet you still felt somewhat offended at the remark. I mean, he was basically the cause of your confession!

"Whatever, I still have the high ground here," you muttered with a smile, finally moving to pull away. However, you were stopped in your tracks as Vil only tightened his hold.

"Not so fast dear, you're going to make up for all the time I've spent trying to get your attention. Now come with me, we have some talking to do," taken aback by the statement, you let yourself get dragged out the door.

It's interesting how such a miserable start to the day could end up going in a such a good direction and all you had to thank for this was silly little Neige's magicam post about some strawberry lip balm Vil would've discarded upon 3 second of inspection.

[thecameronchronicles]

Spin the Bottle

TW: Smut. Language. 

SUMMARY: Your friendship with Drew is brought into question when a game of Spin the Bottle leaves secret crushes unveiled…

WORD COUNT: 2000

*Requested*

Spin the Bottle

Ever since you met Drew, he was always a reason for you to smile. The warmth of his greeting, the swallow of his embrace always filled with admiration, and the way he would ensure everyone was comfortable and included is what always pulled you to him. And yet, there was a specific line between friends and ‘more than’ that you believed was too fine to cross. You had become too worried of what would happen if that line were to blur and you favored your friendship too much to risk the fallout. For that, you would hide your feelings behind quiet smiles while also making every excuse to be around him every chance you could. Which is what brought you to meeting the cast of Outer Banks on this specific night. 

“Started to wonder if you were someone he just made up with how much we hear about you-” Rudy commented, being nudged by Madelyn as official introductions were made.

However unnecessary they may have been as you recognized them all from pictures with Drew as well as two seasons of Outer Banks held in your memory of favored cinema, you still found this politeness to ease the nerves you had to be before them. And the reasons for this varied from wanting them to like you while also being intimidated as they were just as beautiful in person as they were on screen-if not more so. And so down to earth that it left you inspired to just be yourself. 

The usual conversations of getting to know each other had begun as they learned of your childhood and just how you’d met Drew before offering information of themselves as well. You learned the things you had in common and the differences, all respected and even made into teases, before feeling as one with the group. But at some point between drinks and dinner, you would overhear JD and Chase berate Drew for having ‘not made a move’ despite the ‘clear tension’ between the two of you. He would counter their hopes by answering you were nothing more than ‘good friends’, a slight twinge to your heart validating even further of why you’d never acted on it yourself. 

“I haven’t played since Junior High…” Madelyn explained as your group of friends had left the bar following a successful introduction to you and now rode in the elevator of the apartment complex to retire back at Drew’s for a continuation of events. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Carlacia added, an almost infantile innocence across her face, as she bounced on the balls of her feet. 

“Fine by me…But you all can’t fall in love with me at once though…” Rudy teased as you rolled your eyes to how easily arrogant he made every comment about himself. It was a true gift that was held in value for his perfect comedic timing while the doors suddenly pulled open.

“Hey…if you don’t feel comfortable, I can take you home…” Drew explained while catching your arm as everyone else made their way inside. For just a fraction of a second, you were too close for this remark to be made ‘just as friends’. You swore you found the same need behind his eyes as well as they fell to your lips and returned to yours in wait, before you answered with weak confidence in your tone. 

“It’s just a kiss, right?” He nodded, repeating the words, looking to your lips one final time, before Austin had asked if you two ‘had gotten lost’. You fought the blush forming over your cheeks despite the fact nothing had actually happened, before slipping into place on his couch while Drew finished off a beer bottle and used that as the token for the game. 

“Ground rules?” Madison questioned as you came around the coffee table that was just large enough to fit this new gaggle of friends. 

“Someone spins, whoever it lands on has to kiss.”

“Tongue?” Rudy asked with a raise of his brows, puckering towards JD who only shook his head in humored disbelief to his coquettish banter finding no end. 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with…” Carlacia added as Drew purposely sat across from you in opposition to the clear opening at your side as it was a better probability than taking your side. 

“Okay, I’ll start!” Madelyn offered, her turn having landed on Madison. A teasing peck made Rudy and JD groan for what could have been a sultry smooch as they kept it rather reserved in respect to their partners set on either side of them. Austin and Carlacia were matched, followed by Chase and Madison, until it was now your turn. Manifesting Drew to be on the other end of the bottle’s neck, you watched as it landed more towards Rudy, who widened his lips before noticing a hint of disappointment in both your and Drew’s faces. 

“Flattered, but it’s more towards him, I think-”

“Yeah!” Madelyn added as Rudy leaned far enough away to where the bottle was more pointed to Drew. Although it was clear this was a stretch of the rules, neither you or him were willing to let this opportunity slip away. And so, you leaned over the table, palms pressed to its surface in preparation before watching him mirror your actions. 

A happy-go-lucky smile, one he wore in frequency, came across his expression even brighter than before, as he rubbed his lips together as if to prepare them. For a moment, his eyes came to your own that had been parted in anticipation for this moment, one you’d imagined and even dreamed of more than you would ever admit to him, before he lifted his fingers to your cheek. 

“Are you sure-” Before he could finish his question of consent, you took his lips against your own. The sudden rush of adrenaline and desire gathered between your thighs as nothing and nobody else seemed to matter but the two of you at this moment. What had begun as a soft kiss, delicate and compassionate, had quickly grown into one with French inspiration. Breathlessness and eagerness lay on the parting of your kiss as the room was otherwise silent. 

“I think the game’s over…” Madison interjected as it was only the feeling of Madelyn having swept past you and into the kitchen to dispose of the bottle itself that you were reminded you weren’t alone. 

Because of this, you were the one to retreat before climbing to your feet and helping clean up the mess made of your friends. But since the kiss, something changed within Drew. For the ways he was able to guide his gaze away from you in previous interactions to keep his feelings at bay were now impossible. His eyes wouldn’t leave you, no matter the conversation or topic spoken to him, a detail noticed by everyone else as they slowly began to break away for the night. 

“Goodnight…” You offered to Madelyn as she was the last to leave, turning to face Drew to offer assistance to whatever dishes remained, before feeling him suddenly rush into you and pull him into his frame. The rush itself was enough to make you gasp, but the kiss that deepened rather quickly was enough to leave you breathless once again. 

“I’m sorry, I…I just wanted to do that for real…” He explained as you watched him lick his lips while awaiting your reaction, taking in your taste as you moved to the tips of your toes to reinstate that adrenaline only his kiss granted. Within seconds, he had brought you against the edge of the counter in that winded desperation similar to your first, only now, without the need to be reserved for your audience. 

“Do you want to…” He questioned while motioning to the door of his bedroom before you pulled him back into you and lifted yourself onto the counter. 

“Here…” He grinned, assisting you out of your top and admiring the curves of your breasts with his lips while you worked the fabric of his shirt until it now revealed his torso to you. Of course you had seen it in other instances, but it was different in knowing it was at your disposal. With this, you carried your touch across his skin until you were able to tease the lines of his pants and unbuckle what kept him restrained. 

“Are you sure about this? Because THIS is definitely more than a kiss…” You nodded. 

“I’m sure.” He brought you back into him, an immediate slip of his tongue to your own making you moan as he broke the kiss to smirk, returning once lowering his jeans enough to expose himself to you. You couldn’t help your curious fingers as they wrapped around him, a soft groan and thick exhale having informed you of his approval to your touch. 

“Dammit…” He smirked before moving to kiss you again, removing your bottoms before wrapping you completely around him. With his fingers in support beneath your thighs, he carried you to the couch, where your straddle became stabilized by this new position. But the frenzy made of his hands upon your body made you unsteady once more as they finalized to your ass, beneath the lace panties left soaked by his touch alone. 

“Do you mind?” He asked with a grin as you shook your head before watching him tear them literally from your hips. 

“God, you’re so sexy…” He breathed, leading him into a deep buss before you rivaled his passion. Fingers running through his hair and groans silencing his own set your hips in the ambition of a roll as this shot volts of pleasure to his core, his body reacting in approval with such validation. 

“Please, Drew…” Without the need for a further remark, he was positioning himself between your folds. 

“So wet…” You nodded as he slid effortlessly inside of you. Your arm wrapped the width of his shoulders as he began to set the pace once he’d ensured you were comfortable with the way he had stretched you. 

“Fuck…” You breathed softly, his expression lifted in excitement to your usual reserved curses expressed solely for him. 

His eyes fell heavy with lust as he rested his head into your chest, rooting against your gallop before ultimately driving you both to such a degree that the angle was not enough. He brought you into the air and onto the coffee table, keeping himself inside of you as he pistoned those thrusts in quick succession. His eyes remained on your figure and the way it moved from his actions before your back began to arch to the feeling of everything encompassed at your heat. 

“I wanna make you come…right now-right fucking now…” He was quick with his words, desperate but patient to hear them itself as he carried his fingers to your clit. Although you would have been able to come without it, his motions intensified the exchange that much more while you offered him his plea. 

“Oh my God…keep coming baby…” He grunted before pulling you harder down onto him as his expression twisted in tension and his own pleasure before you would feel him twitch and shoot his ribbons of excess in final thrusts. 

“Shit…” He groaned into your shoulder before lifting you upright and withdrawing to allow you both the chance to regain some semblance of breath. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He confessed as you shot a look of annoyance at him. “What?”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?!”

“I was worried it would change things…”

“And?”

“It has…” Your stomach twisted as he quickly collected your cheek once noticing the new worry across your face. “For the better…Because now I can kiss you whenever I want…And I intend to…a lot…”

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @my-baexht-Is @slut4starkey

[coastxlwaters]

(Not part of the knowledge au since I haven’t rewatched all the episodes yet since I keep zoning out midway)

Tw: depression, talk of trauma, denial,, mental health, coping mechanisms, and slight vents (mine)

More theories since my iPad is getting fixed and I need a little vent time as well.

I see so many people make Eclipse seems depressed, nothing is wrong with that, but I also notice many people think if you experience trauma and are still affected by it your depressed. Since I have gone through similar things but not on the scale of eclipse obviously, think I would be dead if I had, I can relate to him in some aspects and then go from there to figure out how is feeling in some of those moments. I am getting the feeling that the whole memory thing isn’t faulty coding or reuploading. He is still missing things that were pretty obvious throughout the backup and original. Even if ruin was rushed he doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to leave a project half finished. Now since it’s proven that the human brain will block out most traumatic memories you have (other than huge ones that leave gigantic scars on mental or physical health) and since the animatronic mind works so similar it seems like Eclipse’s code is trying to replicate that inside eclipse. Basically trying to deny the fact he had the amount of trauma build up he had so he DOESN’T get depressed.The chronic pains and (maybe headaches?) could be his animatronic body fighting back against what his memory storage is trying to do which could end up damaging his systems in one way or another. So basically he is in denial. This could be me simply reading into things too much or projecting and not realizing it but in my head it is a valid theory, if you would like to add on or simply tell me I am wrong reeling it with your concerns attached I will read them even if it is yelling at me for maybe projecting, your reasons and thoughts are valid to me since it’s clear TSAMS doesn’t like us projecting.

Some more while I’m at it, his trauma was always put down by somebody every time it was slightly brought up. This pained me every time I saw it since when I started watching this show, which was basically when it started, I had the same thing happen to me. Though it didn’t happen very often since no one really on the show talked about it much. I think the reason I read into characters so much is because I have went through many different versions of trauma that most people shouldn’t or wouldn’t have at the age I started receiving it.

[ruewrites]

How Time Has Changed You

AO3

Ship(s): Diavolo/Lucifer, Background Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 2648

Warnings: None

A/N:

Hello! Adding once again to the Next Gen!AU that @leviathanswingman and I came up with. I wanted an excuse to bring in little Ariel and to write some fluff between Lucifer and Asmo. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

Comments are appreciated!

"I'm surprised you were able to come here alone."

"You know how Diavolo gets at the very prospect of nieces and nephews."

"I know. That's why I'm surprised you were able to come here alone."

Asmo was currently swallowed in Lucifer's coat, a cup of tea steaming in his frail fingers as his tiny figure made itself impossibly smaller as he curled up on the couch. He hummed softly in thought, blowing at the dancing steam as it arose from the cup. 

No, he wasn’t entirely frail now. In other ways he was less frail than what he had been. His hips were rounded out, his hugs not as bony and even warmer now than what they had been years ago. He was even softer now, even warmer. He was still energetic and spunky yes, and his eyes still sparkled, but he had softened more and leaned even more into his gentle nature. He also let his hair grow out, and it was now tied in a neat little bun on top of his head. He had caught Solomon playing with it on many an occasion at gatherings. Overall, he had… matured… but it was still Asmo.

Lucifer leaned back in the armchair he was in, taking in Asmo just for a second longer, "Solomon made his instructions quite clear that he wanted you to be in a calm environment. It sounded like he could certainly make use of his own requests as well."

And if Diavolo had come as he oh so desperately wanted to, the house would be anything but calm. He would want to know everything and anything about the new little demon brewing within Asmo's form. Or was the more correct term fallen angels? Partial humans?

"My husband certainly has seemed stressed hasn't he?"

"You going on impromptu outings without notice or times when you will return certainly doesn't help with that."

Oh Asmo was giving that sorcerer a run for his money. It made Lucifer chuckle a bit. From impromptu coffee shop and bakery runs to deciding he wanted to pick up a part time job at the daycare, Asmodeus was throwing Solomon into a panic. He'd become extremely accustomed to anxiety-riddled texts sent in the family group chats, unsure of where Asmo was or when he'd be home or if he was alright.

"He really does get himself worked up, I try not to upset him so much, really it's one of the few things we've ever really gotten into lil tifts about," Asmo sighed, brought the cup up to his lips and paused, "And of course that's why you're here, to make sure I don't get into any unsupervised trouble."

"Unfortunately, I find myself in slight agreement with the man you decided to marry Asmo," Lucifer smirked, "You are carrying his child as they say."

"They being humans?"

"No changing the subject, and he is correct to be concerned. The process affects you and puts you in a targeted position," Lucifer leaned forward ever so slightly, "His concern stems from valid reasons."

Asmo looked back down towards his tea cup, eyes flickering in order to avoid Lucifer's gaze. His fingers tapped along the porcelain glass before he spoke again. 

"I think it all comes from guilt," he didn't look at Lucifer, "He missed Lilith's. There's no way he could have known, I didn't even know, yet he blames himself for missing it… And for her being early." 

"It could be both."

Asmo's fingers tightened around the teacup.

"Which reminds me, I'm surprised you don't have anyone with you either. Lilith usually spends time with both of you and stays with you when Solomon has to go out."

Asmo's body softened and relaxed at the mention of his daughter. It had always been clear that, even if Lucifer had had rocky feelings about the man who sired his niece, she had grown up in a very healthy and loving environment. Both Asmo and Solomon gave her everything they could to get her to thrive. Their efforts paid off in the form of a blossoming young woman. 

"She's busy with being a much better student than I was, she gets that from Solomon you know," Asmo chittered, "And she has friends at RAD. But she's so excited about the baby, she's already planning on weekends that she can come up to visit. It's always a treat to have her stay with us again."

"I could imagine."

After all, it was always a treat to have one of his brothers visit or to see Oleander, so Lucifer could share in that sentiment. 

His eyes were trained on Asmodeus. Watching as he took another slow sip from the cup. His muscles tensed at the ready the second he saw the slightest tremor. The moment he arrived in the house, he became Asmo's shadow. Lucifer opened doors, lifted anything he personally considered too heavy, and always had a place for Asmo to sit. 

Yes there were moments his brother appeared slightly agitated with his protective streak, but a little pampering appeared to take the edge off of his fury.

Asmo hissed and shooed him away the second Lucifer tried to take the knife he'd been using to cut fruit away from him. It was a noise Lucifer had never heard come out of Asmo before, but one he understood nonetheless. However, he was soon back to playing guardian once again to the younger demon.

"Stop."

"I haven't done a thing, Asmodeus."

Asmo rolled his eyes, "I swear, you are just as bad as Solomon."

"You offend me."

Asmo set his cup down and buried himself deeper in Lucifer's coat, "Being compared to your brother-in-law isn't that terrible of a thing now is it? He did help make both of your nieces. Niece and nephew?"

"You don't know?"

"Shush, no changing the subject."

Lucifer chuckled, once again relaxing in his own chair  and motioning with his hand for Asmo to continue.

"Anyways, Solomon makes me happy and he cares for all of us, that's gotta give him some good graces in your book right?" 

Lucifer didn't say a word on the matter. Instead, he took in the image of his brother, so content, so nurturing. While he couldn't fathom why Asmodeus would willingly wish to have another, especially not after his own experiences, he did know that the new little one would be incredibly lucky to have Asmodeus raise him. For a moment he was taken back to his days in the Celestial Realm. Back to days when a very young Asmo would steal a Belphie who was barely starting to open his eyes, hiding in the trees and bushes while Beel cried for his twin and the older angels searched in a frenzy for the two missing little ones. Back to when Asmo would herd all of the tiny baby angels one by one, and how much he adored his little doves. He would teach them so many little songs and play the cutest of games with them. Back to when Asmo fantasized about having a little flock to call his own.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that he would go on and have his own and yet-

Lucifer would not have questioned Asmo in the Celestial Realm. But he had questioned him when he had his first.

But his jewel had overcome Lucifer's fears. He had broken a cycle and even found a partner who had chosen to be just as attentive. 

Sometimes Lucifer wondered if he had ever been able to break the cycle himself, or if he was just another perpetrator in the endless circle. 

"Do you have a name picked out for them?"

Asmo smiled, albeit a bit sheepishly, "Well, yes. I told Solomon to pick one out since I named Lilith."

"And? Did your human manage to come up with anything worthwhile?"

"He did," Asmo's features softened as he pulled Lucifer's coat closer to his face, "Ariel. He seemed particularly fond of the same. He says it so sweetly. Humans are funny, he likes to talk to him, it's adorable really-"

"He talks to him?" Lucifer smirked.

"It's a funny thing humans do. I told him it's not the same but he still speaks to Ariel so fondly."

Lucifer noticed Asmo's eyes dip and quickly took the cup from his hands to set it on the coffee table. Asmo tried to wave him off, but Lucifer still pulled the coat up  closer to Asmo's chin all the same. The process was a draining one, Lucifer still didn't entirely understand why Asmodeus would go through it a second time.

He could never picture himself doing that again.

That ugly concern  rose up within him again. Asmodeus was so drained, so tired, so vulnerable. What if he couldn't protect him? What if there was nothing he could do to truly do to help? What if he could not be there when Asmodeus needed him the most? What if Lucifer failed to protect them again?

"Lucifer-"

"Sleep."

"Mm not-"

"Sleep." 

Despite the pout on his lips, Asmo's eyes grew heavier and heavier.  

Solomon would eventually make it home that evening, he would find Asmo fast asleep and the Avatar of Pride watching over him steadfast and unmoving.

***

It was snowing. It was one of the few things Lucifer remembered. It was a cold December night, the whole Devildom was silent and Lucifer could see his own breath even within the confines of the castle walls. No doubt the human world was just as frozen tonight.  He was pacing back and forth. No real thoughts ran through his mind, only feelings. 

He'd almost missed Solomon's text, almost didn't answer the frantic phone calls masked behind the attempt of a calm tone. A quick quiet promise of a call back and then soft click of the call ending.

Perhaps he should brew another cup of coffee. Maybe it would take his mind off his itching wings and how badly he wanted to be there despite the weather.

"You should try to go back to bed dearest," Diavolo's voice echoed off of the walls. His voice was soft and coaxing, but he was also smart enough to keep some distance between him and Lucifer at a time like this.

"And potentially miss an urgent message that needs my attention? I think not," Lucifer snorted. He fidgeted with his D.D.D., ruby eyes boring into the device as if it would give him answers sooner through his own will power. His wings twitched as he glanced back out the window. How hard would a trip really be? Just so he could be there, just so he could manage everything with his own eyes…

A hand grabbed his own, and Diavolo's eyes met his and he slowly shook his head, "Don't."

"I wasn't planning on anything."

"Don't lie to me dearest, you know I know the truth." 

They stayed in a stalemate. Their disagreements were always like a game of chess, calm and carefully navigated. There was never a trace of aggression, never an ounce of contempt, only carefully crafted words and an understanding of the moves the other side made. Diavolo used his next move to bring Lucifer's hand up to his cheek, letting him relish in the warmth and comfort of the prince. "If you will not come back to bed, at least allow me to attend to your needs."

Lucifer let out a long breath  and laid his head against Diavolo's shoulder.

He couldn't say a word as he allowed himself to be led over to one of the chairs next to the fireplace. Slowly his eyes followed Diavolo around the room as he lit the fireplace, placed a warm blanket on Lucifer's lap, and did his best to prepare tea. His hands fumbled  causing the stream to lurch as it traveled downwards towards the cup. He was nowhere near as talented as Barbatos, and his movements were clumsy, but none of that mattered. Even now, with his nervous laughter and concerned puppy dog eyes, Lucifer felt his chest flutter.

As he picked up the cup, Diavolo moved behind him. A trill left his lips as strong hands kneaded into his shoulders and along where his wings connected with his back. 

"You should let me tend to you more often."

"As if you don't do it daily?"

Diavolo chuckled and pressed a kiss against the back of his neck. "Asmodeus will be fine, you know as well as I do that Solomon wouldn't let anything happen to him."

Lucifer's eyes softened and he found himself staring deep into flames before him. He wished he could find solace in his husband's words, and yet the darkness continued to consume him. 

***

It wasn't until the early hours that Lucifer finally heard back. The storm was still unrelenting and bit the bones of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the way of it's wrath. The sound of his D.D.D. buzzing filled him with the most terrible sense of dread. For a moment, he was frozen, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the notification. Diavolo nudged it towards him on the little table. Their eyes met, and Diavolo offered him a smile and a soft nod. 

There were no words in the text, only a single image. 

Relief flooded his being. Asmo sat, exhausted but otherwise unharmed. In his arms a bundle sat wrapped on the brink of consciousness. He had a messy mop of black hair, the tiniest hint of wings peaking out, and his eyes were ones that Lucifer couldn’t help but recognize fondly. They were the color of sunsets and warm summer days. 

“He looks like Solomon.”

Lucifer hummed, “He has Asmo’s eyes… and his nose… and dimples.”

Diavolo let out a short laugh and scooted closer, the eagerness radiating off of him was palpable. He looked nothing short of hopeful. There was only one way to handle this, the correct and proper way. After all, Asmodeus had just had his second child-

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“No we are not going to bother them-”

“It wouldn’t be-”

“Asmodeus just had a child mere minutes ago and you want to barge in there and pester them both with seeing the baby? Their newborn?”

Diavolo pouted. Some things never really changed, now did they? Letting out a low chuckle, he pulled his husband closer. He ran his fingers through red locks that had darkened with age, and yet both of them were still very much the same… and also very much not. “Let them rest for a while and settle with the new one, besides weren’t you the one who was worried about me traveling in this weather? We shall visit in a few days and then you can spoil your new nephew all you want.”

Diavolo scrunched his face as Lucifer poked his nose, “Can you at least ask them for his name?”

Lucifer could feel his wings flutter, he leaned into Diavolo as he looked back down at the photo. Asmodeus hadn’t done too bad, and his human had managed to pick out a fitting name for his new nephew.

“His name is Ariel.”

"Ariel," Diavolo repeated softly, "What a human sounding name. It's wonderful."

The image before him looked so soft and warm, both of them were protected from the harsh cold of the outside, and Solomon stayed close by making sure to keep contact with Asmodeus. They were safe. They were safe, and that was what mattered. Asmodeus had someone else watching over him and that made Lucifer’s mid ease ever so slightly. They were safe, and now Asmo’s little family grew once more, and in a way Asmo continued to grow with it. 

Maybe, just maybe, Lucifer had changed as well.

Diavolo’s words tumbled in his head, and his eyes softened, “It is, isn’t it?”

[jemmo]

i watched only friends ep 3 for the third time and i am stuck on nick saying the line “no one dares hurt me”. bc in context it’s nothing, and he says it with this slight smile that’s still a little disappointed but just trying to play it off and you could just see it for what it is, just him trying to act fine that boston is abandoning him or whatever. but where’s the fun in seeing things at face value. bc this is post him seeing the pictures and seeing and finding out who top is and putting the wiretrap in boston’s car and seeing boston talking to top (i don’t think it’s clear whether he actually hears what they’re saying about ray and mew and meeting up later and sticks around to see what happens, or is just generally sus of boston and hangs around bc he’s just sus and so happens to see them). this is post this constituted story he has that was sparked by that tweet about liking someone else and that’s why you can’t become something more. he thinks top is that person (and he’s kinda right), that boston likes top more than him, despite boston constantly calling him his favourite. you can see the pieces falling into place, that while boston’s behaviour serves to keep himself in control and have nick on this leash of always being there and keeping him interested with the promise of more that will go nowhere, for nick, it doesn’t just hurt him in these sad ways that keep him dependent on boston to feel good about himself and thinking he has this special relationship when he doesn’t. it also hurts him in ways that boston wouldn’t have intended, ways that turn nick into someone dangerous, someone that can be boston’s downfall. bc now he looks at top not just with sadness and envy, but with anger and disgust, bc who is this person?? what right do they have to be the person boston likes more than me?? when im the one he goes to all the time, when i have this connection, when our relationship is progressing?? bc the feeling of comparing himself to top, and his inadequate that makes him feel, bc of course he isn’t enough, of course he’s not better than top, of course boston would like him more, that can so easily turn and become something dangerous, bc you lash out at other people instead of lashing out at yourself. it’s that thing of i do everything, so why have i not earned your love?? that’s what he says in the trailer to boston; “i just want you to love only me”. it all comes together to make me think nick is gonna be the one that really starts shit. that idk, either through just telling people or maybe that wiretrap can record what happened, he’s gonna be the reason the whole mess starts to come out. and idk if he’s gonna just let it out and let boston get shit for it as a way to get back at him for hurting him, bc bc of his feelings, bc of that line in the trailer, bc i think he still depends on boston’s affection and validation, i think it’s more gonna be a matter of him doing it to push top and boston apart, so that when it all falls apart, the end of it all he can say to boston i did it all bc i love you, bc top doesn’t deserve you, bc i want to be the only person you love.

and you can see how it would happen, when it all comes out and ray and mew clarify that there’s nothing between them and everyone gets mad at boston for fabricating these stories to manipulate people, who do you think is gonna be the most mad?? top. bc he’s the one being messed with, his relationship with mew, and it’s all just ultimately bc boston wants to have sex with him. the man is ruining his relationship just for a fuck, and at this point we don’t know if there are any actual feelings, or if it’s just so that boston can feel superior and in control still. the whole point is that bad behaviour yields bad behaviour. boston is a dick, but he also doesn’t know that he’s feeding in to his own downfall. and nick is being manipulated and taken advantage of, and that’s horrid and sad, but he’s also not this helpless victim. no, i very much believe he intends to bite back just as hard as he’s been bitten. and it still hurts bc it’s such a realistically human bad relationship, the person that lacks self worth and so over invests in a relationship to give them that worth back, and the person that doesn’t want commitment but also doesn’t want to lose control, and so they dangle promises they’ll never keep like bait to keep someone trapped. and it hurts bc the ways nick will turn and start acting out aren’t just his fault, bc boston played into it and made him believe, only for it to be broken. and this is not victim blaming, but you also can’t baby nick and make out he’s harmless, helpless, defenceless. you can’t not see the grey in him. bc he’s expecting boston to be something he’s not, and so you can’t say it’s fine when he gets mad that boston isn’t that thing he wants him to be. you can’t excuse him being overly invasive of a private space like he has ownership over every part of boston and his life. yes i get it, boston plays into it, but at some point we’ve got to stop using that as an excuse, bc the behaviour is still bad, and i feel like it’s only gonna get worse. im calling it, nick is gonna turn into a mess that boston created and become something he can’t control, and it’s gonna all come back around and destroy him. bc it’s not just a matter of messing with the wrong person, it’s the fact that boston doesn’t think anyone can mess with him back, and he doesn’t realise just how catastrophic the consequences of his actions are gonna be.

[growling]

could you perchance elaborate on npd squirrelstar because i think i see the vision

ohhhhh absolutely anon, and as I don't get many asks about warriors: hi :3

Honestly it kinda started out as a pure vibes thing, like I just thought "hmmmm which cats to hit with The NPD Beam.. squirrelstar hhholy shiit i think i just had a vision. i didn't see anything in the vision but I had a visionnn" and it stuck. Mostly headcanon stuff, maybe some slight au territory (but wc canon is already flimsy as it is anyway, so really, it didn't change much from the originals) but the longer I though about it the more it just kinda fits in lol, especially with her torment gauntlet storyline but not entirely because of it, either -

(I do not know how coherent this'll be, or if I even say everything I wanted to, as I am. so sleepy rn) Honestly the first thing I thought after initially coming up with it is. her relationships with Brambleclaw and Ashfur gsfdsghsd. It's very common to just believe that the abuser must be The Narcissist (or that just, all people with npd are automatically predestined to be abusers no matter what) while it's actually way more often that people with npd are more likely to stay in those relationships, or get abused because *shocker* mentally ill people actually way more likely to be treated as subhuman by society and the like. And I've already saw one or two people just proclaim that Brambleclaw is a narcissist because um, *checks notes* he's controlling of his wife and extra sensitive of (oftentimes valid) criticisms of his leadership or something idk man which. uhhhhh. no can we not please + shut up forever + now I'm gonna do the opposite nobody can stop me (also happened with rainflower. and clear sky. and sol. but mostly rainflower. lord help me)

(on a sillier note though....... nothing much to say about Ashfur as of now but after his Squilf/Ashf breakup if he was a human he'd become a self-proclaimed tiktok Dark Empath)

And lastly the headcanon stuff, which I completely made up while stirring the muffin batter but they might or might not have canon basis too, I don't know, I'm not gonna look for it and I don't really care either;

Does the right thing not because it's "what you're supposed to do or whatever idk I have no idea how any of you define it anymore", but because it makes her feel good. And even if by the end of the day she doesn't get any praise or reward for it, even if she gets shunned for it, what matters to her is that she did the Good Thing and therefore she is Good and that's what matters, and everybody else is so stupid for not seeing it. Really, why does it always have to be her that actually bothers with helping people nowadays. She's got a so much better grade at Good Person than like 99% of her Clan, StarClan bless

Leafpool was always consistently her equal person, she deserves the world and maybe even more than she does because she's just that great, it's her an Leafy against the world <3 we're eating soft tacos later <3 hold on Squirrelflight's Hope just called and- oh god, oh fuck

neither low nor high empathy but a secret third thing: really fucking weird ever changing empathy that also varies on whoever it is for some unexplainable reason. Based off what I have and how do I even explain this in simple, not-10-paragraph-post length....... just trust me on this. What I'll say rn is that she tends to personally care about nearly exclusively towards people relevant to her, or those she considers "interesting" regardless if she actually likes them.

always sets her goals either incredibly high (because naturally she's gonna achieve this exactly as she imagined and wait what do you mean-), or very low (so that she can do the woohoo!!! whenever she succeeds)

she splashes water everywhere when drinking she spills it so much she puts all her paws in that damn stream then puts them all over the kids and now they're all wet they all shake it off directly at Brambleclaw

> gets criticized once > fucking dies

I'll add onto this if I have time maybe, and don't completely forget about this whole post

[beevean]

i think i would feel more sympathy for u if ur alienation from sonic wasn't.......completely self-imposed. even amongst the valid criticisms u have for modern sonic media, all of it seems to stem from this very......for lack of a better term, boomer-esque viewpoint. idolizing the way sonic characters and stories were written and told back in the classic era - dark era, and hating every even slight change to style of creating. because like i said even ur few valid criticisms are kind of rendered feeble when ur core reasoning for believing them isn't about objective quality, and way more about nostalgia-tinted longing for the past. after all even when u list the qualities u like about a newer sonic installment, u always gloss over them. as if the positive aspects of newer sonic that u like are mere afterthoughts, and u believe the flaws and negative qualities are worth dwelling on more. which is not a wrong outlook on criticism at all, but it certainly is a little suspect when all the negatives u focus on are centered around how everything is so different from older installments. this is not even to mention the "flaws" u point out that are blatantly the result of bad faith criticism, such as blaming the sonic material for you misinterpreting the emotional tone of a scene.

from what i see in the things u say, u just deeply want sonic to return completely to its older methods of storytelling. which is not only unfeasible but, if actually ever fulfilled, it would just result in actual objectively bad sonic material. trying to return to the "glory days" never goes well for anything. and even if u try to argue that u don't actually believe this, please have the dignity to be honest with urself. even if u convince urself u don't want sonic to return completely to its past style the way boomers tend to say, every viewpoint u have is way too influenced by classic sonic style storytelling, so much so that it blinds u. this viewpoint of urs exemplified by, once again, the majority of ur criticisms being made in bad faith. u always assume the worst and most insensitive interpretation of something even when ur interpretation is clearly wrong when taken in full context. it's as if u've already decided since long ago that u just dislike everything if it's modern sonic, regardless of the actual material. no matter how objective u attempt to be, everything u have to say is just so obviously taken from this tunnel-vision, inflexible point of view.

but of course not to say that classic sonic storytelling is bad, or u are wrong to prefer it so strongly. that's just objectively wrong, both writing off classic sonic as bad and trying to police ur specific personal taste. i don't wish to say or express either of those statements and i hope i can be clear about that at least. but the specific way sonic has been written back in the day is over now. it has had its run and it is now retired. modern sonic, as it is ongoing with all these new forms of media, comprises of the sonic creators trying out all new things to grow themselves and their creations better than before. honoring the past, both the glory days and the embarrassing mistakes, while aspiring to push their limits to newer heights. and yes all of it is extremely flawed and much of it could be vastly improved, but everything is being made from a genuine and earnest and passionate love for sonic.

and.........this might be a bit mean to say but. there really is something unsettling about the way u and ur little friends here always react with cynicism and irreverence when new sonic material has heartfelt moments. that u perceive these bits of writing which are just trying to express earnest and honest emotion as "emotionally manipulative", solely because the execution is clumsy and elementary and even hamfisty, is just..........very telling of the type of person u are. sonic is a children's franchise. of course the emotional beats are going to have the tone and complexity of a bleeding heart. maybe calm down.

there's nothing wrong with preferring older sonic material and really disliking new modern sonic media, but..........if that is the case then i don't understand why u continue to consume the newer version of the franchise. i think u've already been told urself but the rest of ur friends who might read this should be told the same: it would make u much happier if u gave up on modern sonic, only kept consuming the old sonic material u love, and moved on entirely. and if u are deciding to stick around out of a tiny sense of hope that ur desires will be filled, i say this with the most kindness: u have better things to do that are worth ur time and effort. please make urselves happier and just move on from modern sonic. it's been long enough that it's time to accept that the trajectory of where sonic is heading from now on? it is not for u and never will be

Well. This may be the longest "shut the fuck up" I've ever seen. I wish I had your perservance when writing my essays. Do I really annoy you this much? Although of course you still hide behind anon :)

even ur few valid criticisms are kind of rendered feeble when ur core reasoning for believing them isn't about objective quality, and way more about nostalgia-tinted longing for the past.

Who are you to tell me where my criticism comes from? I prefer A compared to B. A is older than B. It's not that hard.

is a little suspect when all the negatives u focus on are centered around how everything is so different from older installments

When I say stuff like "Lost World did the 'Sonic fucks up' plot better than IDW", it's not muh nostalgia talking (I haven't even played LW): I really believe Lost World did it better. When I say "Eggdad is stupid because it's OOC", it's because Eggdad spits in the face of 31 years of consistent characterization. You can disagree, but don't put words into my mouth.

such as blaming the sonic material for you misinterpreting the emotional tone of a scene.

Forgive me for being arrogant, but while I don't believe I'm right and everyone else is wrong, I always make sure to use the source material to explain where my interpretation comes from. Guess I shouldn't bother anymore!

u just deeply want sonic to return completely to its older methods of storytelling. which is not only unfeasible but, if actually ever fulfilled, it would just result in actual objectively bad sonic material.

every viewpoint u have is way too influenced by classic sonic style storytelling, so much so that it blinds u.

Are you talking to me, Beevean? I'm not a Classic fan. I grew up with the Adventure games. I thought it was obvious by the way I keep gushing about ShTH of all games.

u always assume the worst and most insensitive interpretation of something even when ur interpretation is clearly wrong when taken in full context. it's as if u've already decided since long ago that u just dislike everything if it's modern sonic, regardless of the actual material. no matter how objective u attempt to be, everything u have to say is just so obviously taken from this tunnel-vision, inflexible point of view.

Source for this claim? No, really. Since when did I express biased dislike for Modern Sonic? I don't even care to separate Sonic in eras.

(I also used to love IDW before issue #23 and I was super hyped for Frontiers which proves that I'm not some bitter bitch who loves to hate stuff for no reason, but whatever)

both the glory days and the embarrassing mistakes

Honoring the embarrassing mistakes is Sonic Team including Crisis City in Generations, and taking the chance to make good levels out of a stage coming from a reviled game, exploiting its potential. "Wildly inconsistent" and Eggman making fun of Baldy McNosehair feel too meta, because they come from an external writer, and not Sonic Team themselves "apologizing".

everything is being made from a genuine and earnest and passionate love for sonic.

"Passion" is not an argument. Sonic '06 had passion behind it and it nearly killed the franchise. You can appreciate the intent, but the actual quality is another thing.

and………this might be a bit mean to say but. there really is something unsettling about the way u and ur little friends here always react with cynicism and irreverence when new sonic material has heartfelt moments. that u perceive these bits of writing which are just trying to express earnest and honest emotion as "emotionally manipulative", solely because the execution is clumsy and elementary and even hamfisty, is just……….very telling of the type of person u are. sonic is a children's franchise. of course the emotional beats are going to have the tone and complexity of a bleeding heart. maybe calm down.

And this is why I don't do that. I don't. I don't care about what the others do. I did not make fun of the Tails flashback in Prime. I did not make fun of Surge's panic attack: I explained seriously why in my opinion it doesn't work. I did not make fun of The End because I don't think it's as ridiculous as other say. Ngl, even I'm bored with Frontiers criticism by now.

I'm the idiot who cries at Sonic's "alone" scene in Lost World! I wrote four fanfictions out of ShTH, the game that to this day is renowed for being shittly written! I'm well aware that Sonic doesn't have the deepest writing ever. I still like it! And there are things I don't like! And when I don't like them, I either give my serious piece if I think it's worth it, or leave it alone. Yes, I used to harp on IDW much more in the past, and now I regret it. Nowadays I keep it to myself unless I'm prompted.

Don't accuse me of things just because I interact with people who do them. I'm not part of a hivemind and I'm sick of this.

And you can keep your concern trolling for yourself. I know you don't really care about my well being and my happiness: you wrote a whole ass text because you want me to not ruin your fun. On anon. Instead of blocking me, you took 867 words to tell me "you're a boomer and you're such a drag". When you say "it would make u much happier if u gave up on modern sonic", what I hear is "get lost and stop bothering me".

Fine. Sorry for being a random blogger writing on my blog. Thanks for your concern.

[crusherthedoctor]

i think i would feel more sympathy for u if ur alienation from sonic wasn't.......completely self-imposed. even amongst the valid criticisms u have for modern sonic media, all of it seems to stem from this very......for lack of a better term, boomer-esque viewpoint. idolizing the way sonic characters and stories were written and told back in the classic era - dark era, and hating every even slight change to style of creating. because like i said even ur few valid criticisms are kind of rendered feeble when ur core reasoning for believing them isn't about objective quality, and way more about nostalgia-tinted longing for the past. after all even when u list the qualities u like about a newer sonic installment, u always gloss over them. as if the positive aspects of newer sonic that u like are mere afterthoughts, and u believe the flaws and negative qualities are worth dwelling on more. which is not a wrong outlook on criticism at all, but it certainly is a little suspect when all the negatives u focus on are centered around how everything is so different from older installments. this is not even to mention the "flaws" u point out that are blatantly the result of bad faith criticism, such as blaming the sonic material for you misinterpreting the emotional tone of a scene.

from what i see in the things u say, u just deeply want sonic to return completely to its older methods of storytelling. which is not only unfeasible but, if actually ever fulfilled, it would just result in actual objectively bad sonic material. trying to return to the "glory days" never goes well for anything. and even if u try to argue that u don't actually believe this, please have the dignity to be honest with urself. even if u convince urself u don't want sonic to return completely to its past style the way boomers tend to say, every viewpoint u have is way too influenced by classic sonic style storytelling, so much so that it blinds u. this viewpoint of urs exemplified by, once again, the majority of ur criticisms being made in bad faith. u always assume the worst and most insensitive interpretation of something even when ur interpretation is clearly wrong when taken in full context. it's as if u've already decided since long ago that u just dislike everything if it's modern sonic, regardless of the actual material. no matter how objective u attempt to be, everything u have to say is just so obviously taken from this tunnel-vision, inflexible point of view.

but of course not to say that classic sonic storytelling is bad, or u are wrong to prefer it so strongly. that's just objectively wrong, both writing off classic sonic as bad and trying to police ur specific personal taste. i don't wish to say or express either of those statements and i hope i can be clear about that at least. but the specific way sonic has been written back in the day is over now. it has had its run and it is now retired. modern sonic, as it is ongoing with all these new forms of media, comprises of the sonic creators trying out all new things to grow themselves and their creations better than before. honoring the past, both the glory days and the embarrassing mistakes, while aspiring to push their limits to newer heights. and yes all of it is extremely flawed and much of it could be vastly improved, but everything is being made from a genuine and earnest and passionate love for sonic.

and.........this might be a bit mean to say but. there really is something unsettling about the way u and ur little friends here always react with cynicism and irreverence when new sonic material has heartfelt moments. that u perceive these bits of writing which are just trying to express earnest and honest emotion as "emotionally manipulative", solely because the execution is clumsy and elementary and even hamfisty, is just..........very telling of the type of person u are. sonic is a children's franchise. of course the emotional beats are going to have the tone and complexity of a bleeding heart. maybe calm down.

there's nothing wrong with preferring older sonic material and really disliking new modern sonic media, but..........if that is the case then i don't understand why u continue to consume the newer version of the franchise. i think u've already been told urself but the rest of ur friends who might read this should be told the same: it would make u much happier if u gave up on modern sonic, only kept consuming the old sonic material u love, and moved on entirely. and if u are deciding to stick around out of a tiny sense of hope that ur desires will be filled, i say this with the most kindness: u have better things to do that are worth ur time and effort. please make urselves happier and just move on from modern sonic. it's been long enough that it's time to accept that the trajectory of where sonic is heading from now on? it is not for u and never will be

cool copypaste bro

[ninjapotatohead]

i think i would feel more sympathy for u if ur alienation from sonic wasn't.......completely self-imposed. even amongst the valid criticisms u have for modern sonic media, all of it seems to stem from this very......for lack of a better term, boomer-esque viewpoint. idolizing the way sonic characters and stories were written and told back in the classic era - dark era, and hating every even slight change to style of creating. because like i said even ur few valid criticisms are kind of rendered feeble when ur core reasoning for believing them isn't about objective quality, and way more about nostalgia-tinted longing for the past. after all even when u list the qualities u like about a newer sonic installment, u always gloss over them. as if the positive aspects of newer sonic that u like are mere afterthoughts, and u believe the flaws and negative qualities are worth dwelling on more. which is not a wrong outlook on criticism at all, but it certainly is a little suspect when all the negatives u focus on are centered around how everything is so different from older installments. this is not even to mention the "flaws" u point out that are blatantly the result of bad faith criticism, such as blaming the sonic material for you misinterpreting the emotional tone of a scene.

from what i see in the things u say, u just deeply want sonic to return completely to its older methods of storytelling. which is not only unfeasible but, if actually ever fulfilled, it would just result in actual objectively bad sonic material. trying to return to the "glory days" never goes well for anything. and even if u try to argue that u don't actually believe this, please have the dignity to be honest with urself. even if u convince urself u don't want sonic to return completely to its past style the way boomers tend to say, every viewpoint u have is way too influenced by classic sonic style storytelling, so much so that it blinds u. this viewpoint of urs exemplified by, once again, the majority of ur criticisms being made in bad faith. u always assume the worst and most insensitive interpretation of something even when ur interpretation is clearly wrong when taken in full context. it's as if u've already decided since long ago that u just dislike everything if it's modern sonic, regardless of the actual material. no matter how objective u attempt to be, everything u have to say is just so obviously taken from this tunnel-vision, inflexible point of view.

but of course not to say that classic sonic storytelling is bad, or u are wrong to prefer it so strongly. that's just objectively wrong, both writing off classic sonic as bad and trying to police ur specific personal taste. i don't wish to say or express either of those statements and i hope i can be clear about that at least. but the specific way sonic has been written back in the day is over now. it has had its run and it is now retired. modern sonic, as it is ongoing with all these new forms of media, comprises of the sonic creators trying out all new things to grow themselves and their creations better than before. honoring the past, both the glory days and the embarrassing mistakes, while aspiring to push their limits to newer heights. and yes all of it is extremely flawed and much of it could be vastly improved, but everything is being made from a genuine and earnest and passionate love for sonic.

and.........this might be a bit mean to say but. there really is something unsettling about the way u and ur little friends here always react with cynicism and irreverence when new sonic material has heartfelt moments. that u perceive these bits of writing which are just trying to express earnest and honest emotion as "emotionally manipulative", solely because the execution is clumsy and elementary and even hamfisty, is just..........very telling of the type of person u are. sonic is a children's franchise. of course the emotional beats are going to have the tone and complexity of a bleeding heart. maybe calm down.

there's nothing wrong with preferring older sonic material and really disliking new modern sonic media, but..........if that is the case then i don't understand why u continue to consume the newer version of the franchise. i think u've already been told urself but the rest of ur friends who might read this should be told the same: it would make u much happier if u gave up on modern sonic, only kept consuming the old sonic material u love, and moved on entirely. and if u are deciding to stick around out of a tiny sense of hope that ur desires will be filled, i say this with the most kindness: u have better things to do that are worth ur time and effort. please make urselves happier and just move on from modern sonic. it's been long enough that it's time to accept that the trajectory of where sonic is heading from now on? it is not for u and never will be

You lost me at the exact moment you made the assumption that I require sympathy from some hypocrite hiding behind Anonymous.

[aquillis-main]

i think i would feel more sympathy for u if ur alienation from sonic wasn't.......completely self-imposed. even amongst the valid criticisms u have for modern sonic media, all of it seems to stem from this very......for lack of a better term, boomer-esque viewpoint. idolizing the way sonic characters and stories were written and told back in the classic era - dark era, and hating every even slight change to style of creating. because like i said even ur few valid criticisms are kind of rendered feeble when ur core reasoning for believing them isn't about objective quality, and way more about nostalgia-tinted longing for the past. after all even when u list the qualities u like about a newer sonic installment, u always gloss over them. as if the positive aspects of newer sonic that u like are mere afterthoughts, and u believe the flaws and negative qualities are worth dwelling on more. which is not a wrong outlook on criticism at all, but it certainly is a little suspect when all the negatives u focus on are centered around how everything is so different from older installments. this is not even to mention the "flaws" u point out that are blatantly the result of bad faith criticism, such as blaming the sonic material for you misinterpreting the emotional tone of a scene.

from what i see in the things u say, u just deeply want sonic to return completely to its older methods of storytelling. which is not only unfeasible but, if actually ever fulfilled, it would just result in actual objectively bad sonic material. trying to return to the "glory days" never goes well for anything. and even if u try to argue that u don't actually believe this, please have the dignity to be honest with urself. even if u convince urself u don't want sonic to return completely to its past style the way boomers tend to say, every viewpoint u have is way too influenced by classic sonic style storytelling, so much so that it blinds u. this viewpoint of urs exemplified by, once again, the majority of ur criticisms being made in bad faith. u always assume the worst and most insensitive interpretation of something even when ur interpretation is clearly wrong when taken in full context. it's as if u've already decided since long ago that u just dislike everything if it's modern sonic, regardless of the actual material. no matter how objective u attempt to be, everything u have to say is just so obviously taken from this tunnel-vision, inflexible point of view.

but of course not to say that classic sonic storytelling is bad, or u are wrong to prefer it so strongly. that's just objectively wrong, both writing off classic sonic as bad and trying to police ur specific personal taste. i don't wish to say or express either of those statements and i hope i can be clear about that at least. but the specific way sonic has been written back in the day is over now. it has had its run and it is now retired. modern sonic, as it is ongoing with all these new forms of media, comprises of the sonic creators trying out all new things to grow themselves and their creations better than before. honoring the past, both the glory days and the embarrassing mistakes, while aspiring to push their limits to newer heights. and yes all of it is extremely flawed and much of it could be vastly improved, but everything is being made from a genuine and earnest and passionate love for sonic.

and.........this might be a bit mean to say but. there really is something unsettling about the way u and ur little friends here always react with cynicism and irreverence when new sonic material has heartfelt moments. that u perceive these bits of writing which are just trying to express earnest and honest emotion as "emotionally manipulative", solely because the execution is clumsy and elementary and even hamfisty, is just..........very telling of the type of person u are. sonic is a children's franchise. of course the emotional beats are going to have the tone and complexity of a bleeding heart. maybe calm down.

there's nothing wrong with preferring older sonic material and really disliking new modern sonic media, but..........if that is the case then i don't understand why u continue to consume the newer version of the franchise. i think u've already been told urself but the rest of ur friends who might read this should be told the same: it would make u much happier if u gave up on modern sonic, only kept consuming the old sonic material u love, and moved on entirely. and if u are deciding to stick around out of a tiny sense of hope that ur desires will be filled, i say this with the most kindness: u have better things to do that are worth ur time and effort. please make urselves happier and just move on from modern sonic. it's been long enough that it's time to accept that the trajectory of where sonic is heading from now on? it is not for u and never will be

I JUST REALIZED THIS IS AN EFFING COPYPASTA

FUCKING HELL, WHY DO I FALL FOR THESE????

[icaruskeyartist]

I'm winning therapy y'all.

I talked to her about my weird mixed feelings on some of the language that has been used. Like a lot of things being rooted in valid behavior from myself if not just entirely right but a few things very much Not That Way and I think being only worded as they were in some attempt to hit my uh. I don't have a better word than triggers? Things that have always been a way to immediately back me into the spiral corner. Like how Linkin Park's most popular discography as of 2012 instantly sets me back into the black hole of high school dysphoria and depression in like. Four bars.

Unrelated, guess what the only word(s) I have in any blacklist is?

There wasn't like a clear answer to anything, but after talking to friends and her about some of the stickier stuff and my reasoning behind what I'm thinking about it's kinda nice to hear "you're doing good. You're not being vindictive" slight disagree there "and both from what you've told me from the past and what I've seen, you're handling this in a much more evenhanded way than you would've before."

I really think a big part of why I'm handling it better than The Last Time is because all this happened on the heels of a Bad Time. I was finally getting off my ass and sure, I basically got shoved back onto my ass, but... I mean.

If we hadn't had that talk, well they wouldn't have lied, but I also would've been blindsided and wouldn't have the framework to see how I had been behaving in negative ways (there's a lot more to unpack there but that gets into a whole different post).

There's a lot that's helping me not fall into the black and white trap of ye old Icarus and ironically B and Sam both helped me here. They also did their damnedest to tear me back down to start, but they didn't manage that.

So yeah. I'm winning therapy and getting a good grade. And if I can gamify my chores and studies then there's nothing wrong with gamifying my mental health. Especially if that little dopamine boost gets me moving forward.