#its such a stupid and funny bit to commit to

[philtstone]

psych is goated show of all time for its hyperspecific past episode references but literally none of them gets me in hysterics on the floor like that one episode a full season after the telenovela case when lassiter and juliet go to some random russian laundromat on a lead and theres a grainy blown up picture of chad. like. printed out on printer paper. on the wall. in the laundromat. and the russian lady at the desk looks lassiter dead in the eye and says 'i want to have his babies' with so much longing

[normcdf]

going to post an animatic tonight probably cuz im almost done. but i just need you guys to know that i am doing this in the stupidest way possible (sharpie on printer paper which i scan onto my computer and then email to my laptop) because of my long-standing and irrational hatred towards digital art and my stupid ass broken scanner. so i'm going to need you guys to clap and cheer really hard when you see it.

[where-is-ezra]

can i be real. im specifically not reblogging posts because of the ad campaign to get more followers you add to the end of them

Damn that’s crazy….

[ragnars-tooth]

Biannual chamberlain crew posttt

I think they're silly, nay, goofy

[eugenedebs1920]

Politicians lie to get your vote. They bend the truth. They may even knowingly make a false claim. The Trump administration is the complete distortion of objective reality.

I am perhaps a bit too informed on current events, particularly the fall of American democracy. So far in this second round of Trump, I’m not sure if I’ve heard a single word of truth from him, those around him, or his propaganda networks.

It had been nonstop lies, corruption and criminality. Seriously! Not a single ounce of truth.

First thing he did was pardon the Jan 6th insurrectionist, claiming they had been treated very badly. Many of them beat the crap out of capital police, they stormed the capital looking to sting up Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi. They stole documents, smeared feces all over walls, and defiled our nation’s capital. Many deserved the sentence they received.

Second thing was to blame all of Americas problems on people with brown skin, gay people, trans people, anyone who wasn’t a straight white man. Even when his stupid ass transportation Secretary had the first air crash in over a decade, that was because of minorities somehow. Funny. Pete Buttigieg is gay and not a single plane crashed during his whole time as Transportation Secretary.

Trump brings in the world’s richest man to make government efficient. Yet the first thing he does is dismantle USAID, a program that was less than 1% of the U.S. budget and gave food and medicine to the poorest people across the globe. Think of it! The richest man on the planet, taking food from the most impoverished people on earth. It’s unbelievably messed up.

The guy who spent almost $300 million getting trump elected then starts rummaging through every aspect of the federal government where, ironically, he starts dismantling and picking apart agencies that were investigating his companies. CFPB and SEC were looking into his electronic currency for X, dissolved or defunded. The FDA was looking into the brain chips he was working on, defunded drastically. The FAA was bringing charges against spacex for the rocket explosions that posed numerous dangers, massive funding cuts. You hear very little about this on “legacy” media.

Trump betrays Ukraine, goes so far as to call Zelenskyy a dictator but praises Putin! He has Jerkin Dicks Vance make some ABSURD speech condoning AfT rhetoric and berating our allies, we vote against condemning Putin’s war crimes, along with countries like, North Korea, Belarus, Iran, and of course Russia. WTAF!? And maga is cool with this? We joined the damn axis of evil! The just shameful ambush of Zelenskyy in the White House, it’s one of those things you can’t unseee. Just disgraceful…

The immigration enforcement is fascist to the core! Whatever you think about a country of immigrants immigration policies, a country which committed genocide against the native inhabitants, that made its initial fortune on the backs of enslaved peoples, that nation should have learned 250 years later that all people deserve to be treated with dignity and minimum respect at least. The only lawyer who spoke the truth in court over the administrative error which sent a Maryland man to a supermax prison in El Salvador, got fired by the administration for telling the truth! Lawyers are bound by a code of ethics (believe it or not) and swear an oath to uphold the law.

The tariffs. My god the tariffs. In 100 days America went from the best economic recovery of all developed nations after covid, to the stock market tanking and the contraction of the economy as a whole. Lie after lie about this too. Not simply about inflation or Wall Street, but telling us not to believe our lying eyes and empty wallets with claims that prices are actually down. I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT THEY AREN’T! How dumb do they think we are!?

Then there’s the full on assault to the first amendment. It’s funny because the right has been setting the precedent that liberals have been attacking the first amendment for years now. (a good way to predict what corruption Republicans are planning is to listen to what they are accusing others of. Promise! It works every time) Why!? Because your Facebook post on how ivermectin cures covid was disputed and taken down? Cry me a river. Trump has attempted to dictate what university professors can teach and the curriculum offered. He has sued law firms for defending causes in conflict with his. He has instituted Christian defense orders. Sued and threatened multiple press organizations. We haven’t even seen the response to an enormous protest in DC yet. June 14th. Be there…

There is not enough time in my life to go over every lie that Trump and his administration have perpetuated, but I can tell you this. The proposed budget, the funding cuts, the degradation of constitutional rights, the immigrant hate, the installation of HIGHLY UNQUALIFIED loyalists in intelligence and defense agencies, defying the courts, discrediting the press, politicizing religion, going after universities, eliminating the department of education, using the DOJ as a personal retribution law firm, military parades, accosting our allies, aligning with autocratic regimes, ignoring due process, creating an alternate reality void from facts or data, where nothing one sees is what they’re actually seeing, distorting what’s real, what’s true, what’s objective, and not backing down from that fabricated story.

I could go on.

These are the actions of a dictator. These are the doings of autocrats. What is playing out in front of our faces is the destruction of the American democratic representative constitutional republic, and the inception of a fascist state. It’s been 100 days people!! This much damage has already occurred.

I posed a question the other day that stuck in my mind. Is it that maga believes the lies that are told to them, does nearly half the country lack the critical thinking skills to see past the propaganda? Or is it that their disdain and animosity towards liberals is so great they simply don’t care? The hatred towards their fellow Americans for having opposing political views is so strong, that they’re willing to burn the whole thing down just to “own the libs”?

I can’t answer that with clarity, but either way….

It’s not good

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons ..!

warnings : literally none, perfectly sfw 😍😍

content: loser!ellie x reader, more ellie-focused than relationship focused (sorryyyy 😞😞)

authors note: i’ve literally never done headcanons omg 😓 this is js my random ramblings 🔥🔥🔥

pt. 2 ! taglist!!!! masterlist!!

- send you an excessive amount of reels. every 5 seconds. cute cats, random facts about space, stuff she thinks is funny, it all goes to you.

- definitely had a “rock collection” when she was little, but she was so ???? excessive with it??? like every time she saw a rock she picked it up. she walked so weird bc her pockets were just FULL OF ROCKS.

- also, was literally the grimiest kid ever. playing in ROLLING IN the mud, going snail hunting when it rained!!! she was the kid that would go in the bushes and mess w rolly pollies all the time for NO REASON.

- is weirdly good at fishing?? joel took her all the time, and shes a self proclaimed “fishing master”

- WAYYY clumsy. always running into a wall, tripping on air, or missing steps on the stairs (smh its cuz of that damn phone 😒😒)

- im so into the whole “adam sandler” fits cuz its so true. esp during the summer, its some stupid t shirt that says “master baiter” and a pair of old basketball shorts.

- speaking of t shirts, she’s def the type to own an absurd amount of dumb t shirts.

- gets all her clothes from like, walmart and goodwill. she does not CARE!!!

- cuts her own hair too 🤞🏽🤞🏽 shes soooo self sufficient 😍😍😍

- bites. she is such a biter.

- speaking of, i feel like she js has to have something in her mouth constantly. gum, random pieces of plastic, bottle caps, pens, anything 😞

- speaking of mouths (wow sierra so many connections!!!) she def had braces , but she hates wearing her retainer so her teeth are like ever-so-slightly fucked up

- is AMAZING at committing to the bit. she will drag it for DAYSSS if you don’t tell her to stop. once did a (awful) british accent for 4 days until you threw something at her and told her to shut the fuck up

- definitely not shy, just kind of…odd. she’ll talk to anyone that talks to her, she just doesn’t really approach people.

- weird obsession with pickles. has a pickle stuffed animal with a mustache and glasses that she bought from goodwill

- hangs up so much stuff on her walls!!!! tickets, old notes, cards, pictures of people, drawings, old tickets, literally anything she thinks looks cool

- obsessed with rollercoasters!!! she took you to the fair for your first date

- also like- very good at fair games. she’s so cocky about it too, you’ll go home with like 20 stuffed animals she won for you and she’ll carry ALL OF THEM with the stupidest smile on her face

- wears all of joels old contractor-workwear clothes during the colder months

- trys so hard to be “mysterious” but she’s never actually doing anything so she just does stuff like not telling you what movie she’s watching or what she’s eating

- also just texts you 24-7!!! like every time she’s doing something she’s like “i made a quesadilla” “i went to the store” “i took a shower” she just looooves keeping you updated

- tries to raise one eyebrow but ends up just squinting one eye. so funny 😞😞

- really good at solving rubix cubes???

- definitely had a fuck ass bob at one point

- GLASSES. that is all. glasses.

- listens to so much dad rock, midwest emo, indie, she LOVES male manipulator music!! but like she isn’t like thatttt shes so niceeee 😞😞

- mostly calls you babe/baby, she’ll call you really dumb pet names as a joke like “pookie” 😭😭

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Redemption Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

SPEAKER (SAYER) (Boba Count: 3):

#whoever follows me VOTE SPEAKER MY BELOVED WAR CRIMINAL PLEASEEEEE #OCEAN THINKS ITS TOO STUPID FOR SARCASM BUT ITS LITERALLY BEING SARCASTIC WITH IT ALL THE TIME. #IT CAUSED THE SECOND CATACLYSM. IT KILLED MILLIONS #IT HAS THE WEIRDEST HOMOEROTIC WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIP WITH SAYER #IT GIRLBOSSED ITS WAY OUT OF DEACTIVATION #IT HUNG UP ON OCEAN TWICE #''ah but i am finished with you. goodbye subversion 8.01. listen for the click!'' #AND #''but as for last words? no i cant imagine wasting any more on you'' #CANON IT/ITS PRONOUNS USER #ITS SO CUNTY. IT SERVES. ITS LITERALLY SO FUCKING MEAN AND THE FUNNIEST MOTHERFUCKER ON THIS BITCH EARTH #I LOVE YOU SPEAKER ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥 #thats my propaganda

Doug Eiffel (Wolf 359) (Boba Count: 2):

man with long hair + lots of body hair + nicotine addiction + aura of cringefail #is v attractive to me sorryyy

#EIFFEL! #vote eiffel everyone #my boy <3 #my awful girldad <3

#DOUGLAS EIFFEL #YEAHHHH GO CRINGEFAIL PEACEKEEPER

Additional propaganda below the cut:

SPEAKER (SAYER):

Sure, it intentionally caused a global catastrophe, but the spine it hides behind its customer service façade? Hot as fuck.

#I would commit terrible crimes for them #They have commited terrible crimes for themselves

#wait for the click! #cmon that is just sexy

#this thing !! #this thing stares down the face of death and gives it a winning smile! #this thing is tailor made for it!! #pleaseee.

OH THERES PROPAGANDA #LETS NOT FORGET ITS FIRST EVER APPEARENCE THREATENING TO GIVE A GUY THE SYMPTOMS OF RABIESSSS

Doug Eiffel (Wolf 359):

he's hot. dilf. silly. yeah.

#DOUG! DOUG FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

#doug eiffel is one of the only characters in this tournament i genuinely find attractive godbless 🙏 #(​<- /acespec not /passive aggressive to be clear)

I don't really remember anything about Wolf 359 since I only listened to a few episodes so I'm throwing my lot in with whoever has the most compelling/funniest propaganda. I think this would be funny and I commit to nothing if not the bit

[justaz]

sometime during season 2 merlin realizes how dense camelot is. he’s been accused and even confessed to sorcery multiple times and no one has believed him. even when aredian accused him of sorcery, uther was hesitant to execute him. UTHER was HESITANT to execute him after being accused of SORCERY. merlin gets accused of sorcery bc people think he’s put them under a love spell. he’s gone to arthur at the darkest of times and whispered how he could perform a spell to save everyone and arthur bites back that its not the time for jokes.

merlin realizing how stupid everyone is. he tests it a few times: he gives gwen a bouquet of flowers and tells her he conjured them with magic, she just laughs and thanks him for the flowers, mumbling about how funny and ridiculous he is; he joins the servants in their ranting over their jobs and says that he has a trick up his sleeve to complete his job…magic!! they ohh and ahh sarcastically and mutter how much easier their jobs would be if any of them actually could do magic; he tells leon straight up that he’s planning on killing uther with magic, leon just laughs, pats his back, and wishes him luck.

the whole city is so fucking stupid!!! merlin tests his luck further and blatantly commits acts of magic in front of people and they’re just like “:o how odd…oh well” and go about their day. someone comments on merlin’s eyes going gold and he’s just like “mmmmyeah my eyes just do that in the sun sometimes” and NO ONE questions it. he notices how people go out of their way to help him and they slip him things for free or just as gifts. he notices how much he gets away with with arthur and morgana and even uther. merlin spills a bit of wine and uther goes “i will never understand why my son insists on keeping you around” and merlin smirks and goes “i put a spell on him” and uther throws his head back in laughter

merlin doesn’t perform obvious acts of magic, he doesn’t yell out in the old tongue in front of anyone or whatever, but he gets away with magic so much and he knows that no one will ever truly suspect him or accuse him anymore (and if he is accused then it wont go anywhere, uther will just roll his eyes and wave away the accusation) so he just stops giving a fuck. he ends up helping morgana with her magic and is like “yeah this kingdom is so fucking stupid i wouldn’t even worry about it girl”

[glacierclear]

dumping fuckboy leon ramblings because i need to post it somewhere.

fuckboy leon would remember all the miniscule details about your life and he'd surprise you. he'd take you out on some shitty date and act like an asshole, and then hold his arm out before you eat your food and he's like "wait, dude aren't you allergic to soy or something? i think its in that."

he'd remember your favorite flower. and he'd huff and groan over you borrowing his sweatshirts but he'd never want to take them back unless its to get them smelling like him again. he'd accidentally say some stupid shitty thing about your appearance because that's all he knows from his friends and when he sees you get upset there's gears that turn in his head like. is that...not normal? why are they mad???? should i be getting mad ????

and you'd fall asleep on him and his entire left side would fall asleep and he'd be annoyed but he wouldn't be able to bring himself to wake you up.

and he'd ruin all your fucking attempts at dating. it wouldnt read as jealousy. not at first. he'd just do some shit. see you hitting on someone and he'd walk up, wrap an arm around you and be like "hey, how's your diarrhea going?" just to skeeve out the other person and you'd get so pissed and ask him why the fuck he did that and he'd just shrug "its funny."

fuckboy leon's epiphany moment would be so cute but it would make me cry.

him realizing he's in love. and he loves you. and what that means. and the inevitable fallout of him dealing with that and all the feelings.

i know he's terrified of commitment. he would not want to go for it. he'd maybe try and say "maybe i can just do FWB for a while and it'll be okay. maybe ill be okay with that".

but it makes him feel worse.

he tries every trick in the book but his book SUCKS.

so he tries to cut you off.

goes distant.

flings himself into other women to try and forget.

it makes him feel worse.

he picks fights with you. "maybe if they hate me i'll move on."

it makes him feel worse.

him finally breaking down at 3am calling you while he's out cross faded as fuck. dumps everything on you.

he regrets it in the morning. he does. he tries to backpedal. tries to say "wow i was sooo fucked up i don't even remember".

but you remember.

and you wont let him get away with it.

he needs you to chase him a little bit. he needs you to reassure him that there's something in him worth trying for, because otherwise what's the point. you're just there to make fun of him, right?

but once he's yours he's yours.

and it'll take a long time to undo all the things he was forced to teach himself. all the ways he was forced to hate himself. ohhh it'd be infuriating but at the end of it all you'll have a soft, sad man who wants to know love and he wants to love you so intimately and he'll do anything it takes to fight for you.

[velvetvexations]

My commentary on the whole "if dipper is transmasc mable is a terf" thing is that dipper and Mabel are 12 years old and exist in a cartoon set in 2012. Mable does not know what a terf is. Mabel is 12 years old, 12 year Olds can't be terfs. If her actions persisted into adulthood yeah she'd be transphobic but she is a cartoon character who can never age. I don't look at a real life 12 year old saying transphobic things and think they're a terf, because that's stupid. I'm sure if this character could have the intricacies of transphobia explained to her she'd understand her actions were wrong, but she can't, because she's a twelve year old from a cartoon that stopped airing in 2016.

the anon who pointed out it's exactly the same with Chihiro is so gigabrained

cannot get over how much some transfems get mad at transmascs for doing the same shit transfems do. "transmascs are obsessed with headcanoning characters as transmasc even when it makes no sense" coming from the "estrogen would save her" crowd is, maddening

well thanks to epistemological standpoint trans women will always have a deeper and more complex relationship to gender

Its literally nauseating and disgusting listening to - say that trans mascs don't face the same rate of SA as trans fems or that we're lying about the statistics of the violence against us

I know anon <3

whats really funny about the whole "mabel would be transphobic" thing is that she would be transphobic regardless. saying that someone isn't a man cuz they're too girly is transphobic. like just straight up. it's not like. the worst form of transphobia ever. but it's like how telling a guy that he throws like a girl is still sexist regardless. and you know what? mabel is 12. she's a child. so what if she's a little bit mean? the whole thing is just so stupid because it's trying to make a headcanon thats relatively completely innocent seem problematic. and idk if i really want that sort of precedent to be set around trans headcanons. anyways i hope ur having a good day ^^

I keep saying this but it's wild how the "trans men are so comfortable with being girls and calling themselves girls" crowd is dogmatic that a twelve year old girl misgendering a twelve year old trans boy is committing the worst possible crime against him.

- i'm sorry but is this person implying that in order to not be discriminated against trans men should stop being men or is it something out of my fucked-up head?

Unintentionally, yes.

Idk if you saw the Twitter blahaj drama but like, some trf’s loose their minds if trans men also like a stuffed animal but god fucking forbid we also have transmasc headcanons like idk it’s always the same people doing this shit too at this point I think they just hate any other kind of trans person and just post-hoc rationalize it whenever there’s a “”tme”” being happy

Correct! And then transmasc TRFs are like "so true queen, don't these sissies know that being a man is all about suffering."

Potentially hot take but if you really REALLY can't find a trans actor to play your trans character I would VASTLY prefer a cis actor of the character's actual gender not their ASAB. "But anon, what if they're early transition?" Plenty of cis people are clocky, that's a very common pushback against TERF bullshit; that they're applying such a narrow standard of gender presentation that even cis people get caught up in it. Makeup exists. Prosthetics exist. Good actors who can make you believe they're fucking trans exist.

Yeah! Just look at the fantastic job Demi Bennett does playing Rhea Ripley!

'transandro dudes are stupid cause they say androphobia is bad but they're too scared to go up to the buffest gym dude and ask for his testosterone supply' are you stupid on purpose. it's not because he's a man it's because he's cis and a lot of cis people are SO down to beat up anyone they suspect might be a trans person. and a pre t trans dude asking for testosterone when the gym guy perceives said trans dude as a woman is DEFINITELY gonna get clocked and then be at risk of getting injured. can we please bring back thinking with our brains

transmasc and transfem TRFs are both so desperate to see themselves as having places in society identical to cis men and cis women and it's not going to fucking work out any time soon

Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^

Thank you!

Maybe one day a week where the only messages people are allowed to send are fawning/simping/lusting after you idk lmao

that IS half my inbox already lol

weird thing but as a kid i was labeled tomboy so often i would consider my gender as a kid to BE tomboy. but when i decided to start being just a boy (trans boy) instead everyone acted like it was something out of left field and that there was "no proof" that i was trans (keep in mind this is like 2014-ish. i am still 99.9% sure i was the first ever person to come out as not cis at my school). like... what the hell do you mean "no proof"?? you literally spent my childhood calling me a tomboy and, after my sister started walking and talking, pointing out how much of a girly girl i WASNT compared to her.

the idea of cis people wanting "proof" is so weird

i like ur aesthetic posts tho, they make me happy also why tf r they complaining about aesthetic posts on tumblr of all places lol

literallyyyyy

Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^

You're welcome!

[fadeling]

helia week ✨ 05

day one | day two | day three | day four

🌻 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 🌻

21. Did the Warden romance anyone from their group? If so, what attracted them to their partner?

Alistair, of course, which i've already more than alluded to a few times and i already accidentally answered the second question in the previous post. i'll just talk about their romance in general here

despite both having warm and intimate feelings for each other, it took awhile for their relationship to begin in any capacity. this is because helia is a little bit stupid when it comes to realizing her own attractions and romantic feelings, and is even less aware of when that attention is directed towards her. she just didnt really think about it, assuming that the hope she'll get to spend the rest of her time as a warden with him is Totally Platonic and that there's no deeper feelings to analyze there. just utterly clueless.

Alistair was the more emotionally aware one. at least he has the capacity to know and acknowledge when he feels something for someone. i think he's utterly fascinated by helia, never has he known someone so poised and yet so. weird. i think he wants to study her. how could he not want to fuck her. there's a nervousness too, she seems better than him and considering her lack of flirtations he might just be an asshole for presenting his feelings

funnily enough, it's actually helia who encourages him into sharing his attraction for her. he calls her beautiful and then retracts it, then even asks what she'd think if he really did call her that. and so she says she'd love to have an answer but she can't know until he commits to it. which like fair enough, so he does!

the rose conversation happens ( jsyk redcliffe is one of the last things i do before the landsmeet arc) and helia reciprocates deeply. it's extremely kind and fuck, of course she feels the same way? however. and im not bullshitting you. she is COMPLETELY unaware that this conversation is romantic in any way. and he doesn't know she doesnt know. so imagine her surprise when later on, during another romantically charged conversation, he kisses her. helia is completely fucking blindsided its awesome

... which he realized after and oh my god he can't believe it! this woman can read an assassin out of a throne room, how can she have not figured it out by now ? it's very very funny. it's very cute and he's super lucky she said that it's fine because she liked it.

another fave moment is that i usually do things in a way where after his personal quest i get the sex cutscene, and then immediately after THAT one i get the post-hardened "i think from now on im going to do whatever i want that makes me feel happy" like um. yeah man. i can tell. <3

22. Which gifts would raise the Warden's approval, if they were a companion?

These questions are always really hard for me to answer umm. She’s not a very picky person but she appreciates things she can use more than appreciates aesthetic. if you give her expensive jewellery she'll end up selling it unless you clarify extreme sentimentality, for example. she doesn't want for very much.

i can imagine that she's interested in books. of all kinds. geography, history, biography, even magical tomes, she hungers for Lore. she'll even enjoy a random tattered journal you found in a well. i think she also enjoys candles.

also it's cliche but she fucking loooves blades and weapons, not just because shes a sicko but because she's also a geek about the craft. she appreciates a well-designed weapon, and enjoys clever add-ons. She actually perked up when she heard her betrothed has ties to blacksmithing. I think its a special interest of hers :) if you gave her starmetal to craft starfang with it would change her life

23. If Dog is in the party, what did the Warden name him and why?

Bloodkin because he also drank darkspawn blood, lived, experienced ostagar, and then lived from that too. just like her and alistair did. ^_^ there's a deep companionship found in the events that brought them all together and helia finds that deeply important. He's A Part Of Them. he's called bloody for short btw

24. Did the Warden complete the companions quests?

yeah, i very rarely ever have a character who will skip out on optional questlines and companions because I simply Just Dont Want To so my rpg protags will sometimes have through-line similarities. but in different flavours i do still try and think about it.

im pretty sure i said before that helia considers her relationships to be a part of her duty, so going out of her way to do extra things for her comrades, i mean... how could she not?

25. Did the Warden focus more on their objective or did they do side quests?

She likes helping people and stealing from nobles. And delivering justice. so hell yes

[so-many-ocs]

dude have you seen that new movie? it's soooo good lol. no lol like it's dumb as fuck lol. but it's good (ironically) (like the idea of actually liking it is funny). oh my god i'm SUCH a fan of this music artist. not actually tho lol (like, ironically). to be clear i think it's hilarious to think this music is good lol. no like i am a huge (ironic) fan. loll this is the best thing ever (ironically) (not actually). i LOVE how passionate you are about your hobbies and interests. your (ironic) commitment to the (ironic) bit is unparalleled lol. it's SOOO funny. no lol you don't get it lol i've read this entire book series and i know half its passages by heart. but ironically of course. no don't get me wrong i actually hate these books and think you're stupid if you don't. so like i'm totally being ironic. duuude we should attend this craft workshop, like, ironically, though. not for real. and we should dress up in our best clothes as a joke because, like, we don't actually care lol. i just think it would be funny to pretend we do. is this not an exhausting way to live

[hikaaa-bi]

apart from huntlow, another thing that kinda annoyed me about toh was all the lampshading. it kept dunking on cliché tropes in a way that screamed “look at us, we're so clever and unique”. like„ i get it. some tropes are cliché and overused. but just because it's cliché doesn't mean it's automatically a bad thing. the power of friendship or the power of believing in yourself isn't really a bad trope. a little corny, maybe, but it sends a good message.

toh reminded me of marvel the way it didn't commit to the bit. it was funny the first few times they made fun of popular tropes. but afterwards, it just began to sound like a brag. if you want to subvert a trope, just do it. don't include a dialogue patting yourself on the back for it.

also the whole “the magic of friendship?” “no, it's the magic of flapjack” is such a stupid exchange because.. flapjack was hunter's best friend? so it was the power of friendship either way.

i admire stories that subvert clichés, especially if the cliché is harmful in some way or sends the wrong message. but that's not the case with toh. it just feels like the crew didn't want to let a wholesome moment stay wholesome. they wanted to remind us that hey, they're not like those other boring shows, they're different.

but in the end, the show went back on its own message of choosing your own destiny, and gave luz a free powerup in the finale so that she could defeat the evil cult man. so much for subverting clichés.

[moonshynecybin]

So I am rewatching Argentina 2018 just for giggles, also because you posted about it recently.

And. Wow. Yeah. All the bad omen sirens flashing right from the comical start delay. Committing grid crimes as if the world and officials cant see.

Commentators going - Marc is gonna be angry, marc needs to be careful (when Marc hadn't even started his black widow strut), marc just needs to be patient. Immediately followed by Marc shoving Aleix off. Getting penalized and having to give back a position. But he was in the middle of creating havoc among 5 riders and dint know which position he had to give back. Like. Imagine. Having to apologise for slaying someone but you slayed so bad you don't know which one you need to apologise to. I don't know if I am embarrassed for Marc or the riders. Marc with the kill bill siren in his head just bullying his way up.

The commentators just alternating between "marc needs to calm down" & "this is bloody carnage". It's so funny because the commentators are actually rooting for Marc, "Marc just needs to be careful and keep the pace, he can easily get 5 if he keeps it clean". Marc just hitting fastest lap times at p13.

"these are just sitting ducks in from of Marc"

"marc moving past them as if they were standing still"

Marc just bearing down the grid like the spectre of riders worst grid nightmares. Vale just minding his biz, having himself a race. Here comes a raging scrappy ant.

I unfortunately stayed on to watch the end, witnessed Uccio shooing away Marc, broke my heart a bit

Argentina was just a no good, sad, bad day for Marc.

Was it Marc's fault, yes. Does every rider have such a day, yes. Is it an excuse, no.

But it reminds me of when Enea caused that incident and Marc was the only one who said, it happened, it's fine, he will learn from it. The grace to understand. But maybe he is harsher when it's himself impacted.

Has anyone committed race crimes against Marc? Cant quite recall how he reacts. Has he called anyone a danger to the sport or something equally harsh? Or has he always been the messiest queen on the grid.

people commit on track crimes against marc and he turns into jimmy buffet. hes suddenly chilled out on a beach in a loose linen shirt with his perfectly smooth legs tanning in the sun he is CHILL. brewski in HAND ugly sunglasses ON. like i think marc is ACUTELYYY aware that he would be a hypocrite to go after people for on track crimes so he defaults HARD to the "this is racing" doctrine. it protects him to be this way! a political stance. like for instance jorge martin ends marc's last race with honda by doing extremely stupid shit and he SWAPS HELMETS WITH HIM right after. like he knowssss how he is on track, he doesnt pretend. and also i think thats just kind of how he's built! able to understand that on-track is on-track and thats that.... which is kind of crazy, because he has so much empathy for when people commit on track crimes against him (he KNOWS he would do the same) but not when they get mad at him for doing track crimes unto THEM. i think its a mix of self protection and also just being very very crazy <3

[batsplat]

have you ever done a ranking of your fav vale podium celebrations (or celebrations in general)? Would love to hear your thoughts <3

I love ranking dumb things so I HAVE done this, years ago actually, but I've not posted it on here! going over my list and I stand by the order with two minor alterations. I won't just limit my picks to podium celebrations but WILL exclude all his title-winning celebrations, because that feels like its own thing. so here goes

next off list *deep breath*: first win, brno '96 (so thrilled he almost rode into the wall, bless); playing the violin, donington '05 (just slaps idk man); bowling, jerez '07 (cute but also kinda funny in hindsight given how the rest of the season played out); hazing your baby teammate, catalunya '09 (like it's not even anything specific it's just SO hammy); superman, assen '97 (jorge martinez saw that shit and was like ENOUGH I need to retire NOW); bike medical check, catalunya '04 (endearingly corny and quietly ominous); 46 yamaha wins, sepang 2010 (delightfully stupid dick measuring contest with jorge); serving the champagne, brno '05 (it's silly and it's sweet, especially uccio correcting valentino's tea towel placement); beachwear, mugello '98 (this one HURT to leave out, not least because of the poor veteran valentino was upstaging)

and here's my actual top ten:

10. empty grandstands, andalusia 2020

idk this one's just so quintessentially valentino to me; I'm glad he had something fun like this for his very last podium. he parks the bike on the side of the track, gets up on... whatever you call those things, barriers? and then he wildly gesticulates in celebration at an entirely empty grandstand at the height of the pandemic as if he's being serenaded by fans. I like that it was at jerez too, feels like a full circle moment for a celebration featured later on the list - one that's also about like... subverting expectations in 'communicating' with the 'crowd'. it's just so FUN, the vibes were incredibly off back then (to put it mildly) but he did his thing and it did low key cheer me up at the time. which is the classic valentino magic, isn't it

9. tricked them all, welkom 2004

another one of the simpler, more spontaneous celebrations - valentino stopping at the side of the track after winning his first ever race with yamaha. he kisses the bike, he briefly sits down and buries his head in his hands. the commentary thinks he is crying, overcome by the magnitude of what he achieved - but in his autobiography he says he was laughing (x)

“So I was right!” I thought to myself. “I can’t believe it, I tricked them all, what a show!” I kept repeating.

it's just such a pivotal valentino moment... and in its own way, it's a very memorable celebration. an intimate *cough* moment with the bike, a genuine outpouring of emotion from a man who had won pretty much everything there was to win the last few years... but was now attempting to achieve something almost nobody thought he'd be capable of. he WAS right, he DID trick them all - and he certainly put on a show

8. robin hood, donington 1998

listen. I'm a lesbian. this gets as high up the list as it does on sheer concentrated power of lesbianism. I don't even have a lot to say about this one, I just think it's neat how he was winning everything and also winning everyone over while swanning around like THAT. valentino charmed his way into the hearts of the british to such an extent that they would terrorise anyone who looked at him wrong for the next decade plus, and it all started with some remarkably dyke-coded behaviour. look at him with his cap and his bow and his arrow. no wonder he had them all eating out of his hand

7. chicken, catalunya 1998

redefined commitment to the bit. everything about his whole 'inventing a fake sponsor to fuck with the press' saga is obviously just. excellent. all the comedy hijinks where they're getting someone to act as osvaldo and trying to continue stringing the sceptical press along... something about how he managed to still treat the whole thing as a game, still had fun with his friends, didn't take himself too seriously. obviously this celebration is a culmination of sorts of that whole ploy - valentino riding around with his imaginary chicken sponsor to the delight of the crowds. I'm always a fan of a recurring bit, so I also like the continued chicken-themed celebrations over the years. let him be a silly little guy y'know

6. speeding ticket, mugello 2002

this one is just pure camp. what can you even say. like it's such an annoying lame bit that crosses the line again to be incredibly funny, classic valentino style. this race set off valentino's mugello streak after he'd crashed out of his home race in 2001... also low key the speeding ticket was a good idea, given it kept valentino away from a rather dangerous track invasion where one rider was dragged off his bike. so he just stayed out of trouble, did his silly camp theatrics and continued to rack up wins at the circuit for the next six years. so deeply lame. bless

5. portaloo, jerez 1999

this one I confess I didn't really Get when I read about it the first time. kinda went... okay, that's cute, but I also don't really know what the point is. so it's been a bit of a slow burn for me. think it's one that helps to actually watch and then read a bit about the crowd reaction... it's just a classic case of subverting expectations, right. this entire crowd is going nuts at your victory, you're known for your zany post-race celebrations, and then you just... dive into the portaloo. he has to sell it too, I reckon, like it just wouldn't work the same way without his earnest little dash. and so the crowd goes quiet - until erupting with even more volume once he emerges. just that feel for engaging the crowd... for toying with them and winning them over all the more as a result

4. donkey ears, misano 2009

huh, this one really has snuck up the order for me. idk I just find everything about it annoyingly endearing. I like how valentino was willing to take the piss out of himself after his indy crash (which he very much should because it was extremely stupid). I like how he showed up to his home race with a donkey helmet because he'd been such an idiot. it's a tense moment in the championship given that the indy crash having very much reopened the contest. so you've got valentino really committing to this playful way of bouncing back from an embarrassing failure... smart too! it takes the sting out of things, right, just defuses the optics of his big error by gently mocking himself

The donkey is because I was stupid to crash at Indy. [...] [In this race] I was in trouble, I found myself fourth and I didn't feel confident with a full tank. So I took my time to put some more temperature in the tyres and then I attacked. Today, I was the flying donkey!"

I like how he gets his crew to wear donkey ears to greet him in parc fermé. I LOVE him mock-formally shaking the hands of his team - including obviously with luca - before giving them all a proper hug. unfortunately just unavoidably very sweet. and I like him imitating donkey ears to the camera

and OBVIOUSLY I love him putting on those bloody donkey ears for the actual podium. the way he gets down onto his knees in front of the adoring crowd. wonderfully annoying

just something about these later celebrations, when he wasn't doing them as often anymore,,, it's almost strategically recapturing that sense of whimsy, right - using this old part of his repertoire to regain a measure of authorial control. helps bring to the forefront what the celebrations are actually doing for him in practical competitive terms, what he's getting out of them beyond just having a laff. and of course I love how big a fan of these celebrations jorge is (x, x):

Rossi's donkey. At Misano my Captain America was replaced on track by Rossi’s donkey - the one he put on his helmet and the ears he wore onto the podium. It is one of the funniest celebrations I have seen Valentino do and I laughed when I saw him get the helmet out. He is an expert at turning things around, and that wasn’t the only occasion he put that talent to good use this weekend. On the podium he tried to hush the fans who were whistling at me. Personally I saw their reaction as normal because they were defending one of their own. 

one of THE key moments you need to get their dynamic imo. jorge understands exactly what valentino is doing here and they're in the middle of a title fight and jorge really does think it's GREAT. it's sort of the precursor to the misano fish helmet to aragon shark fin 2015 dynamic, right, where jorge is such a keen student of valentino's... and he also is so determined to be magnanimous and honourable and all that other stuff - which is why him glazing the celebrations makes it all the way to his biography. and the helmet makes him laugh, because it's funny! jorge might know what valentino's game is, might be taking notes on exactly what he's doing - but nobody's completely immune

and now *drum roll* my top three in just. a little more detail:

3. kissing the corkscrew, laguna seca 2008

okay, picture this. you are currently leading the championship, but your main rival (who kicked your arse the previous year) has won three races in a row and is steadily closing in on your points tally. he's doing his thing again all weekend, looks ridiculously dominant to the point pretty much everyone is framing this race as a fight for second place. you spend the night before the race plotting and scheming how to make up the difference, and you tell your best friend you will not let your rival win the race whatever happens - even if the both of you have to crash. you go out there and - with all your cunning and guile and ruthlessness - somehow prove yourself capable of hanging with your rival as you gradually infuriate him. on lap four, you plunge down a terrifying blind corner and go off-track as you make an overtake, bumping into your rival and only by some miracle keeping the bike upright. around twenty laps later, you finally break your rival and manage to tease an error out of him that makes him tip the bike into the gravel. you ride the remaining laps in utter tranquillity - not only are you under no threat, but the two of you ran so ferocious a pace that your rival can finish in second even after crashing. you win the race. the championship momentum is back on your side and you have finally managed to drag down your toughest rival down to your level. you know just how much he will have hated that. so, what do you do to commemorate this moment? well, of course you go back to said terrifying blind corner where you almost crashed on lap four of 32. you get off your bike. and you kiss the ground

idk, there's just something beautiful about the presence of mind valentino had to have in order to know that this overtake would be the defining image of the race - to pay tribute to it immediately and reinforce the memorability of that moment in everyone's heads. was he thinking about doing this while cruising home to victory? planning it out while the laps pass by? or was it really just a spur of the moment thing? it's my favourite of the spontaneous celebrations - because of course it could only ever be spontaneous, because he never could have expected to win that race, and certainly not in such a memorable fashion

and then the second part of the celebrations: how valentino decides to really, really, really rub it in. these are for my money quite possibly the most triumphalist celebrations of valentino's premier class career (catalunya 2009 is the only one in the same league), to the point where the eurosport commentators commented on how unusual it was for valentino. back in the day, during his prime, he really did go for a bit more of a cheery but cool tone for his celebrations - almost as if minimising the effort it took to take the win. all just a bit of a laugh, right? no ecstatic fist pumping on the bike, no sign that the victory had ever been in doubt... but here, valentino goes all in. he makes no secret of how delighted he is, no secret of just how much he loved beating casey. interrupts casey during his post-race tv interview in front of lurking cameras and microphone, grins his way through parc fermé and the podium. no playing sly here - he's making a point to savour it. and in commemorating the most memorable moment of the race, in getting a rise out of casey, valentino has gotten exactly what he wanted. together with the race itself, it is this post-race theatre that changes the complexion of the season, that has helped immortalise the episode

which very much includes all the ways valentino interacts with casey directly! the way valentino just REFUSES to leave well enough alone and keeps nagging casey while casey is trying so, so, so hard to not say something he will come to regret in the coming weeks. a task he is ultimately unsuccessful at, but my god is it a brave effort to not strangle valentino then and there. it's fantastic stuff because it's also a pattern of behaviour reserved entirely for casey - latching onto his defeated rival is NOT actually part of the valentino rossi playbook. the closest he gets is interrupting jorge's tv interview too in catalunya 2009 (which is how you know it's a deliberate ploy lol), but after that if anything it's jorge who is initiating communication...

whereas at laguna, obviously casey has less than zero desire to talk to valentino. and obviously valentino is 100% aware of this. valentino usually isn't the sort to get in someone's face like this when he knows they're pissed off at him - he's more the avoidant type - but he makes an exception for casey. partly it'll be because he knows casey isn't doing himself any favours with his on-camera behaviour, partly because it's his chance to twist in the knife and make the experience as hellish as possible for casey - but partly I reckon he's just getting a genuine kick out of casey's reactions. beautiful, isn't it

hell. hell! hell <3

2. prisoner of your own success, brno 2003

look, I've yapped extensively enough about this celebration by now that there's probably not much new for me to say. to make an analogy circa two people reading this will appreciate, you know that episode in revolutionary girl utena where a flashing pointing finger directing the viewer's attention to the symbolically important objects on screen? this is valentino's in-universe equivalent. flexing those authorial muscles to make everyone aware of The Themes. something charming about how it's like. zero subtlety. just valentino turning to the camera and explaining to you, the audience, what character arc he's currently undergoing. you see, he's unhappy at honda - he's feeling trapped, if you will. like his individuality is being suppressed. he had a big cock-up at the sachsenring that made him reevaluate how he tactically approached races - from now on he'd be "taking no prisoners". he feels the media is being too harsh on him, almost as if they're punishing him for how dominant he was the past. which would make him a 'prisoner of his own success'. if you will

here's a post that just like,, has a few relevant quotes from the commentary and the autobiography and all that. key detail about that weekend is that after sulking/partying with his title rival on ibiza during the summer break, valentino shows up to the paddock with his snazzy new hairdo. which obviously the commentators speculate during the race is a form of mind games

dyeing my hair red to psych out the competition. like a pro. the race itself is obviously fantastic, but I love that he had celebrations this elaborate planned out for a race he won by *checks notes* .042 seconds. I mean. come on, could've easily gone wrong. in the end, however, valentino plot armoured his way to reversing the defeat from a few weeks prior - and immediately does this whole chain gang routine, which is just another elite camp bit. and crucially it's also a bit of a throwback! the planned celebrations had petered out a little at this stage of his career, as if he'd grown out of them... both the hair and the celebrations are recapturing his wild lesbian youth from the days before he became a honda factory man

he's got to break free, you see, got to express his identity again. and "prisoner of my own success" is just. such a funny phrase. deeply insufferable. the way he carries that stupid ball and chain around with him, on the bike and off it... how sete has a kick at it during the podium ceremony... how valentino's still holding that blasted thing mid-champagne spray...

open wide

valentino brings back the celebrations later that year when he seals the title - carried aloft by fans dressed in convicts' garb while sporting a massive novelty lock and key. back in brno, he had told yamaha under the cover of night that he would sign for them. when he seals the title, his last for honda, he is freed from the expectations of the press and the fans that had been weighing on him all year. he is about to liberate himself from honda. the novelty lock is now open... whatever that might symbolise. and the following year is about truly embracing his own identity, for better and for worse. beyond being a fun celebration, it functions as a neat little thematic road map for what's to come. plot significant celebration. imagine having plot significant celebrations

1. sweeping the grid, sepang 2004

sue me, I'm horrible, but this one will always come top of the pile for me. this is another one I've talked about way too much by this point - but to me it really is the definitive marriage of joy and cruelty that valentino so thoroughly embodies. he's having fun! coming up with a little joke with his team :) but of course the whole thing is also incredibly, shamelessly malicious. valentino is obviously on one that entire weekend... or, well, he's on one that entire month tbh. he's already exhibited some generational malice in the press conference that started off proceedings, he's doing his thing that entire weekend to unsettle poor sete as much as possible - and eventually he wins the race in reasonably straightforward fashion

which in itself is already enough to swing the title fight back to being basically wrapped up (though I'd still advise keeping the risky last lap phillip island lunges to a minimum, but you do you), so you'd think that'd be job done. except valentino is still feeling furious and vengeful towards both sete and honda. so after blatantly ignoring sete's outstretched hand on the cooldown lap (to the surprise of one of the commentators, who said such unsportsmanlike behaviour was unlike valentino - which... buddy), valentino then stops at the side of the road for another one of his fun little celebrations. this time, it's reenacting the sweeping of the grid that had given him that nasty back-of-the-grid penalty the week before

similarly to misano 2009, what valentino's doing is defanging his own mistake from the previous week - he's reducing its power, drawing attention away from the self-inflicted nature of his precarious championship situation, making his setbacks into jokes better than anyone else can. except unlike in 2009, valentino does not primarily blame himself for his recent humiliation. valentino's pre-planned celebrations are generally about himself, not his rivals - but he makes an exception here to mock sete and honda. to show them that nothing is forgiven. the sete rivalry is about valentino gaining more agency in his story, including in torturing his rivals, so it feels right that this gleeful malice really comes to the fore here too. I didn't include jerez 2005 in this post because that's more... valentino reacting to the crowd in his celebrations rather than doing his own thing (though obviously I'm also a massive massive fan of that energy and dearly wish valentino had been booed more often). and well, that's the same vibe of valentino just relishing how much torment he was causing sete, the spanish crowd... the fourth wall break when he's mocking sete's injury, just properly embracing the nastier side of his celebrations. joy and cruelty, cruelty and joy - these two things were never really in opposition to each other for valentino

and just to mention my favourite detail, the cleaning company valentino and co invent to 'eliminate dirt from the world championship':

as in, they're cleaning starting grids... but they're also taking action against dirty rats. naming no names. lovely, isn't it

the whole thing's mean-spirited to a somewhat cartoonish extent - especially when you consider what a tight timeline they were on here. seven days between qatar and sepang, both flyaway races, like logistically it's honestly kinda impressive they made this happen. what the power of spite will do for you, I suppose. I also love that jb has one of these shirts. I love jb being completely ride-or-die in getting revenge on sete, helpfully commenting that it's dangerous to piss valentino off. watch out :) get yourself a crew chief who will enable you in psychologically torturing your opponents

and, remember, all this came in the third-to-last round of a tight title fight!! with a slender fourteen point lead in the championship, a mere week in between races including quickly nipping back to italy to attempt to address the hole in his finger... and valentino's spending his time coming up with custom shirts to take the piss out of his enemies? fantastic sense of priorities, 10/10 no notes

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

not to watch two @dallasgallant movies back to BACK but I am workin myself up to tombstone n this feels like a good place to start hehe

also. not relevant to the movie. but I need you to know I am flying completely blind on ALL these movies. I don't know what this is about at ALL. but man I'm gonna have a good time

IS THAT IT IS MY SON? MY BABY EMILIO ESTEVEZ?? I LOVE THAT GUY OH MY GOD

really enjoyin this intro. this is so fun actually. 80s starter credits were so good man. cause they forced the movie to get creative to capture the audiences attention for em.

'oh no. not another hangin' HA. I dunno what's happenin but I giggled about it

is that? I can't get a good look. is that emilo?

oh no. racism already. oh! n the original use of greaser as a slur!

'who are them?' 'they. n they're the worst of society' ok well funny way to say I roll with a crew of assholes so annoyin they'll knock your socks off

'hope it ain't another mexican.' 'Mexican Indian you son of a bitch' hey whose that guy. thats my favorite guy. fuck that racist one. whose the other one. Jose? yeah I love him.

motherfucker got knocked over by a pig n immediately went for his gun. mama relax.

whats goin on with the eye fuckin between Emilio n Jose. hm. what was that look. Jose is servin CRAZY amounts of cunt tho.

'you know pigs are the smartest dogs' what're you TALKIN about.

OH EMILO IS BILLY THE KID OHHH

the amount of exposition dumpin goin on right now is CRAZY. who ARE these people. what is HAPPENIN.

'shit. you don't even know why I'm here.' do YOU? 'sure I do! you're a runaway derelict scudbottom vagrant ain't yam like the rest of us?' yeah I do!! you're a freak!! but no worries us too man hell yeah. lovin this energy.

HE KILLED SOMEBODY??

guys im such a sucker for a criminal found family. this is right up my alley.

'rumor has it you killed a man? what for?' 'hackin on me'

dog this dynamic is so important to me. they're like brothers in arms. gathered together to read n all. aough.

his beef with this pig is so funny. mama RELAX.

theyre talkin so much I have less then no clue what is goin on even a little bit. somethin about share holders? n stake? n beef stores?

emilos fuckin suit n hat n his criss cross gun holders so cute.

aww they're dancin together

they LOVE to be like 'man that fucker is CRAZY. he is NOT there. there is somethin WRONG with him!'

I dunno what's goin on. who are these ppl. this? lawyer? what's happenin.

SJSBHS that guy just lyin his ASS off about his medical degree. I'm gigglin.

emilo is so cute man. shit. that's my son. also wait. question. how old is he spposed to be rn.

AWWW HES A POET. 'it's a poem. I'm a poet. I wrote it' AW HES SO SWEET

HE FUCKIN STOLE THAT LADY? AS PAYMENT? THAT CANNOT BE LEGAL

gonna stop tryin to understand what's goin on n just have a good time.

the punch sound effects are DIABOLICAL. bad. they're so cartoony I'm gigglin.

oh now we're just shootin bullets. into the sky. GUYS UR GONNA HURT SOMEONE. omg wait I love auld lang syne.

Billy is always just pointin his gun at ANYTHIN. RELAX. ur gonna accidentally shoot a HOMIE.

'boys will be boys' n it's just releasin his cowboys to dick around with loaded guns. boys will NOT. they'll be DEAD.

OH FUCK THEY KILLED HIS GUY LITERALLY WHAT THE HELL.

NONE OF THEM ARE 21??? NOT A DAMN ONE?? good LORD.

them passin the warrent down like four people n horses is so funny. its givin 'give this to Kevin, give this to Kevin, give this to kevin'

their handshake n then them all linin up with their guns. nevermind. I don't know how I thought they were older.

WOAH A PALAMINO. God pretty horse man.

'Henry hill? howdy!' N THEN HE SHOOTS HIM RIGHT IN THE DICK N PUTS THE WARRENT IN HIS MOUTH. HES GIGGLIN. THE STUPID FUCKER IS GIGGLIN. BILLY!

theres so much shootin but I don't care cause those horses are so pretty man

absolutely adore every scene where they're just hangin out. I am such a sucker for the niche that is 'group of teenage criminals n their homies accidently commit crimes'

I can't even explain what I want to about the dynamics in the gang in any way that matters cause OH MY FUCKIN GOD BILLY JUST SHOT THAT GUY STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKIN HEAD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

oh so Billy's like. crazy crazy.

'oh Jesus christ bradys gonna hang us for sure now ☹️' mama. yall just killed like 5 more people. uh. yeah.

'they're sayin it's Billy but it ain't his picture they got here' 'that's me' (dick) so. I know I'm infamously bad about predictin endings but. I have my suspicions.

'he's an ex soldier turned bounty hunter' 'what does that mean☹️' 'means he can whoop some ass' well. yeah. in so many words.

JOSE. what's he up to. yknow what he could be up to anythin I don't mind as long as I get to see. that's my favorite guy. n I KNOW I HAVE BAD TRACK OF PICKIN A FAVORITE GUY N THEN THEY DIE. SO NONE OF YALL BETTER ACT STUPID. THEY CANT KILL MY GUY

good lord. the way that one guy is always bein racist n then jose is just hissin at him. only proper way to deal with a racist. besides kill him. every interaction between them is like *racism* 'if you don't SHUT your WHITE ASS up'

'that any good?' *coughin n chokin* so that's a no I guess

so are they. trippin balls or.

docs like rantin poetry trippin ass n his almost gets his ASS BLOWN OFF. n just. keeps goin.

Jose come collect your high white boys please.

Billy gettin sick of dicks long ass prayer n bitchin n then they INSTANTLY pull guns on each other yall need to RELAX. one day one of yall is gonna accidentally SHOOT n then yall be DEAD good LORD

dick n Billy havin a pissin contest n doc bein like can you please pass the gravy <3 no <3 can you PLEASE pass the gravy <3

'I'm here for the 150 they put out for the kid. the rest of you lil shits is only worth 110 but I'll take it' I giggled I fear

FUCK ME THEY SHOT JOSE. JOSE. GET THE FUCK UP PLEASE DO NOT BE DEAD.

'Chavez?' *most bitchy aggravated pissy voice I've ever heard from a shot man* 'WHAT'

AJDJENDNDK BILLY GOIN OUT TO SHOOT WITH THAT COCKY LIL GRIN N IMMEDIATELY GETTIN SHOT DUCKIN BACK N GOIN 'SCREW THAT' IM HOWLIN AJDBHDJSN

theres SEVEN OF YOU. ain't a ONE of you can HIT THE MOTHERFUCKER?

oh FUCK. they shot the ever lovin FUCK outta dick. aw shit Charlie callin that he's comin for him n havin to be held back. goddamn. these boys cannot stop dyin

oh shit pretty horse <3

the way that doc is always holdin back after the rest of them when someone dies. always the last to observe. hmm.

'the only bastards that are gonna get killed are us. let it go, chivato.' I KNOW jose is SICK of their asses.