#jesus christ i just had a fucking flashback man

[our-inspire-verse]

Fuck ptsd.

I literally thought i found the blog of an Ex bc it had the same format as their posts and i got so sick and dizzy my head started hurting. Fuck it even had the same fandom they tried to force on me. Christ. Please god just. Fucks sake they were everywhere, and now they can be anywhere, and im not tryna interact.

Lmao if yall see this i want you to block me, on god you wanted me gone so make like what vox demanded and stay gone you rats.

You know exactly who you are and what you did and you know exactly why im talking this way. Otherwise

Holy shit yall that was fucking. A lot to deal with im having trouble breathing. The shower will surely help, so imma make like i did the first day i fronted and cure us of this rancid.

[privatelyownedsilicagel]

I don’g know what to do anymore man

[romanarose]

I Miss You, Mr. Miller

DBF!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Joel makes you WET wet.

AKA

There's a pun here about eggs somewhere.

Warnings: Masturbating, sex toys, body worship, "little bunny", joel making sure reader knows he's old man, degrading, almost getting caught.

Immersivity: Reader is fem, dresses very feminine. Drinks and celebrates Christian holidays, not is christian but like family and culturally. Major age gap. Big girthy age gap but reader is 21+. Mentions of church.

A/N: Part of the DBF!Joel Holiday fuck series but you don't gotta read the previous part. I missed Easter OOPS so now we get a flashback.

1.3k words

You liked to start off slow, take your time with yourself. Hands, gliding over your shirt, feeling your body all the way down to your thighs. You learned this from Joel.

Sure a quickie was fun, especially under the threat of being caught, but Joel preferred to take his time with you. Likewise, you started to mimic this when masturbating. Joel you could, theoretically, take the vibe to your clit, put on some Gone Wild Audio and git’er done, but why? Why not show your body the appreciation it deserved. You were beautiful. You were sexy. Joel wasn’t the only one who could enjoy it.

Joel knelt before your spread legs, hands running up and down your pretty little Easter dress. Your dad had invited Joel over for Easter dinner, and you’d stayed in your dress all day to make sure he saw you in it. Joel was certain to show his appreciation.

“Such a pretty dress… such a pretty little bunny…” His fingers tweaked your nipples as he eyed you. “M one lucky old man.”

You giggle. “Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

Joel hummed. He loved when you called him that. Today, he’d had to hide the bonner he was sporting after you greeted him as Mr. Miller in your cute dress, hair all done up… he couldn’t stop thinking how he’d railed you in the church bathroom after Good Friday services… dirty, dirty girl.

Your hand skimmed over your clit at the memory… you might not need any porn this time, you were so turned on, so sensitive… you whimper at the first touch. Cupping your breasts, you try to get the feeling Joel gave when he touched them, but it wasn’t the same. Joel’s hands were large, rough, sure… Still, it felt good touching such sensitive parts of your body, and you sigh. You remember how much Joel praised you on Easter, touch yourself to the echo of his voice.

“Darling, beautiful girl… just look at you, cock dumb girl begging to be fucked with her dad downstairs… surrounded by teddies and pink frilly pillows… act’n like such a good girl, but you ain’t, are yuh?”

“Joooooel” You whine under his touch. “No, I’m a good girl…”

“Nuh-uh” Joel rips open your white tights to find you bare. “Good girls wear underwear to church.” he runs two fingers up your slicked up cunt. “Good girls don’t get wet for grumpy old men.”

You plunge two fingers into your core quickly dissatisfied so you add another. That makes you moan. You begin to pump them in and out of yourself, nowhere near as thick and god, not hitting close to how deep Joel hits you, when he fucks you raw. It’s wholly unsatisfying, but you were just getting started.

Joel finger fucked you, his two middle fingers pumping you at a rapid pace. “Naughty, naughty girl, little cunt clenching on my fingers… I can feel how tight you're getting, but you can’t cum yet… you wanna behave, don’t you? Or are you just as bad as I thought you were… Jesus Christ darl’n, can’t wait to get my cock up my bunny girl's guts again, shit, ‘m gonna miss you.”

Sarah was graduating college next year, and Joel was taking her on a road trip for a few weeks to tour colleges. Tommy had joked, saying he could ‘take care of yuh’ while he’s gone but Joel smacked him upside the head.

“Joel” you whimper. “I think… fuck… I think I’m gonna pee” 

Instead of getting off you, Joel grinned. “Keep hold’n, baby… Ima take care of you.”

You stuff your cunt full of four fingers, just trying to get a taste of what Joel left you with, a bit of that memory. Chanting his name, ‘Joel, Joel, Joel’ You chase that high that’s starting to build in your stomach. You remember how he fingered you, how he kissed your neck, arms, stomach, legs, every single inch of your body he loved so much.

“Joel!” You try to warn him again, but he’s not listening. Instead, he brings his face close to your dripping hole. 

“Let it go, sweet bunny, let go.”

Fuck. He edged you for 20 minutes, even as your mom walked past your door gossiping on the phone about Mrs. McKenzie’s nose ring. You’d warned him, now he’d deal with the consequences. Can’t be as bad as when you’d thrown up on him after St. Patrick's Day.

But when you let go, you cum. It’s hard, liquid shooting out of your body but it didn’t feel like pee. Your legs shake, body seizing up in shock from the sheer force of your orgasm. Joel laps it up, hungrily devouring your, drinking you up like you were communion wine. 

Vibrator on your clit, you remember how Joel ate you out as you came, grinding his hips against the bed, small little moans escaping his pretty little mouth, he bucked and licked and humped and sucked, growling when you stopped and eating you out until you came again, desperately biting your lip to not scream his name. Here in your apartment, in your own bed that Joel carried up here on Presidents Day, you could scream if you wanted to. And you did. Your orgasm hitting you, you keep the vibrator to the exact pressure it was at and ride out your orgasm wishing it was on Joel’s face.

Joel kissed you, his soaking wet face and beard all over yours as you lay there in shock, completely spent from the orgasm. 

“What…” You pant. “Was that…” 

Joel couldn’t keep his mouth off your skin very long, only barely managing to mumble that you squirted. “Such a good girl, oh my god, I was wrong, you’re just, fuuuuck, such a good fuck’n girl…”

You smile against him. “You gonna fuck me or what, Mr. Miller?”

Joel ground his crotch against yours. Wet. “Your little stunt make me cum in my pants like I’m a fuck’n teenager again, yuh lil brat.” He flicked a tit playfully.

Once every last bit of pleasure was exhausted, when you had cum your hear out to the thought of Joel fucking Miller between your legs, loudly and proudly. You sit up and smile at the phone at you pillow, still recording. You make sure to save the voice note in messenger, then cue it up to send it to Joel.

Sweet Thing: Use headphones, don’t open around Sarah ;)

*Send* You fall back on your bed, smiling.

“Joel?” Your dad called along with your name, making you startle. “I know you’re in there!”

You look to Joel in a panic, eyes wide and scared. Not scared of your dad, perse, he was good natured. Scared of disappointing him.

Your dad again. “Your boots are still at the door and it’s too muddy to go outside without em, open the damn door.”

Joel turned to you, whispering. “I’ll take the fall, it was my idea.”

You and Joel both stand, looking more proper. Joel’s black pants covered the fact he came in them, and your dress covered your ripped tights“Joel, no-” But he cut you off with a stern look.

“Ima take care of you, darl’n, understand?”

You nod. Joel unlocks the door and your dad steps in, arms crossed. “I know what you two are doing.”

Joel steps forward. “Listen man, it ain’t her fault.”

Your dad held out a hand. “Hey, I don’t care if you guys smoke weed together.”

You blink. He thought you were sneaking off together for a blunt? “Oh… you don’t?” You don’t smoke weed. Joel does, but you never found much interest. 

“Nah,” He waved his hand. “Just do it behind the garage, okay? It ain’t legal here yet. The neighbors can see your window from here.”

Joel cleared his throat. “Right, right, thanks man.”

“Thanks dad, sorry.”

Your dad chuckled. “I’m the cool dad, remember!”

 Your dad was absolutely not cool, but he was fun. A good dad. And you and Joel dodged a bullet, but you needed to be more careful. You run off to pretend to smoke a blunt.

SORRY IM LATE YALL LMFAOOOOO

Lum to me: Are you not doing the holiday Joel series anymore ;-;?

Me: Did I miss a holiday?

YEAH JUST EASTER I GUESS

I relayed this story to Clem and said "not my fault, I don't celebrate easter anyway, Jesus means nothing to Jews"

Clem "DIDN"T YOU CELEBRATE EASTER FOR A CHUNK OF YOUR LIFE?"

She's right! but she didn't have to say it :((((((( lmfaooooo

Anyway I did a new chapter of this AND and new Room's on fire so, y'all'er welcome XD

Check out my upcoming pride event!

hugs!

Im phasing out my taglist, so make sure to follow @romana-updates

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[iluvmattsbeard]

crawlin' back to you (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: heavy smut/strong language/drinking and smoking/ rough! matt/ a little degrading/arguing.

preview: you finally found a solution to get him out of your head. after a year of what felt like a decade of screaming and fighting, you felt the weight lifted from your shoulders until you open your front door, having everything come back to bite you in the ass.

a/n: ignore if it's bad. I wrote this past midnight. - L🤍

it was a gloomy night in your apartment. you just had gotten out of the shower shivering as your feet touch the cold tile with a towel wrapped around your body. hot showers is what you needed after what happened last month.

last month is when you finally ended your one year relationship with your now ex, Matt. you loved Matt. so much it hurt leaving him more than the words that would come out of his mouth. but, the weight lifted off your shoulders knowing you can now live without the screaming and fighting.

you headed to your kitchen, where the lights were dim, and popped open a bottle of wine. that's all you could do recently. drown your thoughts out by drinking the red bitter liquid. you sat down by your window looking at the dark sky. the moon peeking through slightly. as you drank, you felt nothing.

moments later you were interrupted by a sound. you thought not much of it because you knew what type of apartment complex you were in. you didn't have a well paying job so you had to settle for less. an apartment complex with neighbors who didn't give a shit who was around.

suddenly, you heard a loud knock at your door. you turned your head towards the door wondering who could be knocking this late at night?

you got up walking towards the door as you hear another loud knock. you opened the door to a tall and lengthy man, covered in tattoos, with a cigarette in his mouth. Matt. you stayed silent as he stood there with heavy eye bags, exhaling the smoke out the side of his mouth.

"you missed me?" he says throwing the cigarette on the floor while crushing it. nothing came out of your mouth. what the fuck was he doing here? when you locked eyes, all you could think about was all the times you were screaming at each other over little things. Matt did not communicate well. his anger issues didn't help him either. you replay the night it all ended.

-FLASHBACK-

"why the fuck do you keep doing this!" Matt shouts angrily. "doing what?! saying the truth to your face?" you yelled following behind him. you guys were arguing at his place because you kept bringing up the fact he doesn't try as hard in this relationship. "you can give all your effort to everyone else but me? the fucking bare minimum?!" you shout waving your arms around showing frustration. "Jesus christ y/n. maybe because all you give me is a headache. you think about that?" he shoots back with his back still towards you. "if I give you such a headache, all the time, then why the fuck am I still here?" he lets out a laugh, "no one asked you to stay." you felt your stomach in a knot when he responded. you didn't even respond. you grabbed your stuff and stormed out of there. Matt groaned getting up chasing after you. "you're fucking ridiculous y/n. you know you'll come back." he yells out frustrated, "so don't even waste your time doing this shit." you ignored him as you got into your car. Matt then starts banging on your window. "come on!" he shouts. but you drove away. leaving him with rage.

-FLASHBACK ENDS-

even after that, he never texted or called. so why all of the sudden he shows up? who's the ridiculous one here? every night with him had both of you saying things that couldn't be said the next morning. every night, shit went down. but every morning? it was always normal. it was exhausting with him.

you snap back in the moment when you hear him speak, "let me in. it's cold out here." Matt says with a stern voice pushing past you. you turned around to look at him "I didn't say you can come in." you said. he leans back on the counter with his arms crossed looking at you up and down, "you didn't say anything at all so i took the opportunity to let myself in." he says. you scoff responding, "maybe because I have nothing to say to you Matt. you made us end up like this. you don't just show up unannounced." he chuckles speaking, "oh I made us like this? last I recall you walked out and drove away without a word." you stayed silent because you knew what he said was the truth.

he looks around as his eyes land at the wine bottle you left out, "drinking won't help get me off your mind."Matt says looking back at you. you felt a small shiver down your spine as you locked eyes. even though he had bright blue eyes, in this light, they were dark and cold. "what do you want?"you say looking away. he grins, "nothing really. just wanted to stop by." you scoffed, "to stop by? well don't waste your time. I don't want you here." he lets out a chuckle as he walks closer to you. you take a step back, backing into the front door. "you don't?" he says now standing directly in front of you. you took another gulp as you tried avoiding eye contact. he then grabs you by the chin making you look into his eyes. "because I was sort of hoping you'd let me stay." Matt continues in a low raspy voice, "use your words."

"I don't know what you want me to say." you said, not breaking eye contact. "I was hoping you would change your mind." he says while moving his other hand to your hip, slightly touching your skin. his hands were cold like always. you couldn't help but remember all of the times he's touched you. Matt gets closer to your face whispering "I know I can change your mind." "don't expect me to be crawlin' back to you after what you put me through." you say looking away.

he lets out a little laugh as he picks you up. "we'll see." he says. you wrap your arms and legs around him taken a back. as much as you meant the words that came out of your mouth, it was difficult keeping them.

as you guys get to your bedroom, he puts you down locking the door. "I won't do anything you don't want me doing." he says getting closer. your cheeks turn red as he pulls you in by your waist. "I want to know what's on your mind." he says slowly going to your neck leaving kisses. you close your eyes at the sudden movement, your mouth agape. "you." he laughs at your response. he then pushes you onto the bed. pinning your hands above your head, smashing his lips onto yours. you kiss back trying to move your hands but his grip was too strong.

Matt pulls away his lips not wasting any time reattaching them to your neck leaving marks. he then pulls up your shirt leaving you laying there with your tits out. he attaches his mouth to your left tit while playing with the other one with his free hand. you moan softly at the sudden action. you couldn’t believe it. just a moment ago you were wanting him gone. but he was irresistible. his tongue swirling around made you arch your back slightly.

he pulls away now sitting up unbuckling his belt, "give me your hands." he demands. you obey putting your hands out as he ties them together. Matt then pulls down his pants along with his boxers. a quiet gasp leaves your mouth as you see his length. you gulp at the sight. you forgot how big he was. especially because all the times you had sex with him it was always a blur. he then pulls down your pajama shorts, along with your panties. he was quick to do so. he has always been so eager. there was no doubt he practically craved you.

"you don't want me here?" he repeats the question he asks earlier touching your wet folds. you bite your lip softly from the touch of his cold fingers. "because this tells me differently." Matt then kisses you again, hungrily as he grips your neck. he knew he had you right where he wanted. he pulls away looking into your eyes, "now, be a good girl okay?" he whispers. you nod hesitantly at his choice of words. he then takes off his black leather jacket, throwing it on the floor, along with his white tank. you swallow as you stare at him. you knew he was bad for you. but why did he have to look so good?

he crawls back on top of you. he inserts into you without any warning. you let out a moan with wide eyes. Matt shooting you a look. you can tell he's been wanting this. he wastes no time by picking up the pace. you wrap your legs around him as you moan loudly each time he pounds into you. "why are you being so loud? hm? I thought I wasn't wanted here?" he says still pounding into you hitting the right spot each time. you're now rolling your eyes still moaning at how good It feels. "you should see yourself. pathetic. I know you missed this." you don't respond by the fact you can't make up any words right now. but it gets him irritated. Matt then grabs your face roughly making you closer to his face. "talk to me."

you swallow as you try to speak, "i-i missed this." he gives a slight smirk, "I know you did. you know nobody else will fuck you like this." he kisses you again with the same hungry feeling. "you fuck me so good!" you practically scream out. but all he does is kiss you again shutting you up. all the memories of the screaming and fighting subsided. you couldn’t help but give in. as much as you were angry at Matt, he sure knew how to please you. he then lifts one of your legs and puts it on his shoulder going deeper. he grabs your face and tells you to open your mouth. which you do. he spits in your mouth, “that’s right. you listen.” he says.

as he continues pounding into you, you feel the knot in your stomach build up. he was hitting every spot so good you felt your legs starting to hurt from being held up. you clench around his dick from the sensation. releasing all over him, arching your back moaning. he pulls out, “fuck you’re so beautiful.” he spits out pulling you up getting his dick close to your face, "open." he demands stroking. you open your mouth as he releases inside of it with a groan. "fuck." he mutters. you swallow every single bit.

you look at the sight in front of you. a sweaty and heavy breathing Matt. a sight you missed. he catches you staring. now smiling at you, he brings his hand up to your mouth and wipes the corner of it because of the load you just had swallowed.

he gets up putting his clothes back on. you pull the covers over your still naked body. "you're leaving?" you say with a little disappointment on your face. Matt looks at you while buckling his belt with a smirk, "you want me to stay?" you think for a bit but you responded with a nod. he lets out a laugh coming close to your face. he gives you a small kiss while bringing his mouth to your ear, "I knew you'd be crawlin' back to me." he whispers. a shiver rolls down your spine as your cheeks turn red. he got you there with that one.

a/n: again, sorry if it sucks. when I listen to this song it reminds me of matt lmao. this is my first time writing so I would appreciate the support! like, comment, reblog, or however this works! thank you! - L🤍

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Drunken Serenade

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ ONLY, soft!joel, established relationship, flashback, alcohol consumption, unprotected piv, a lil dirty talk, creampie bc obvi, unedited bc i’m lazy)

word count: 2.5k

joel masterlist | joel playlist

It was no small feat holding the affection of Joel Miller. Though he often grumbled about hating how everyone was always “watchin” him in your small, second-chance town of Jackson, Wyoming, there was no escaping it.

Part of it came from being related to Tommy and Maria, the town’s founders for all intents and purposes. A larger part of it—the part that Joel hated most—no doubt came from his reputation of being ñ prolific at killing. Not many people could say they met someone that managed to survive for as long as Joel had, especially in the brutal conditions he often found himself in. To the people of Jackson, regardless if you were a fighter or a farmer, Joel Miller was a living, breathing legend.

And that’s what he was to you, too, for a while.

But now, in the dim lighting of Joel’s kitchen, Joel’s hands scrubbing the dishes after the two of you shared dinner for the 300-hundredth something time, he was just a man, a man you loved, humming softly to himself.

“Sounds pretty,” you complimented the unidentifiable tune as you slid your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his shoulder blade as he continued to scrub. “Do I know it?”

“No,” he answered with softness, the almost-clean pan in his hand preventing him from turning around and wrapping his arms around you. “Just somethin’ m’workin’ on.”

“Will I get to hear it in full one day?” You let go of him to stand at his side, grabbing the clean dishcloth that draped on the oven handle to dry the clean dishes sitting on the rack.

“Maybe,” he gave you a flicker of a bashful smile, his hip leaning out to bump into yours. “Long as you serenade me back.”

“Oh, you want me to sing for you, huh?” You couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped from your lips at the thought of your mediocre-at-best vocal talent gracing his ears again, Joel having heard it for the very first time one year ago at the bar. Your sloppy, drunken rendition of “I Have Nothing” last Valentine’s Day earned you his attention for the very first time, an attention that thankfully never faded.

One Year Ago — February 14th

“Let loose,” your newest (well—only, if you were being honest with yourself) friend in Jackson, Margot urged you on at the bar, sliding one of the shot’s of harsh, unrefined vodka she’d ordered towards you. “You’ve been babysitting that beer for the last hour. Come on.”

“I don’t drink,” you whined, the thought of alcohol alone enough to make you gag.

“Look, you’re single and alone on Valentine’s day in the middle of an apocalypse. There’s no better reason to drink.” You couldn’t argue with her logic, so you pinched your nose and tipped the shot glass back, the cold liquor hitting your uvula nearly forcing it right back up but you championed through it with a wince. “There ya go!”

“Jesus Christ—“ you choked on your beer as you tried to drown out the taste of the vodka still burning your throat. “You’ve had three of those! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m a masochist,” she joked with a chuckle before gasping at the sight of Tommy and Maria finishing setting up the karaoke machine on the tiny stage in the corner of the bar. “I’m signing us up.”

“Absolutely not!” You laughed as she walked up to the esteemed couple on the stage, Tommy handing her the sign-up sheet with a grin before finding you in the crowd and waving you over. You shook your head and tried to hide away, but he seemed determined.

“I can still see you!” he drawled out in his accent, Maria’s whistles finally getting you to make your way to the stage. “Here, have a look at the catalog. I’ll go get you another drink, you look like you might need some liquid courage.”

“Definitely.”

A few shots later, you were well past the point of courage and deep into drunken stupidity, the microphone in your hands as you unabashedly belted out the words to a near-impossible to pull off song, your voice breaking and cracking the entire time. Though crowd in the bar was mostly focused on their own conversations, you couldn’t help but lock eyes with a familiar face, though you’d never so much as spoken to the man before.

After all, what reason would the town’s school teacher have for chatting up the famous Joel Miller?

Clearly too drunk to care about your lack of acquaintance, you pointed at him as you sang, a wide grin on your face as you watched him try to calm the smile that grew on his.

“I have nothing! Nothing! Nothinnnnnnnnnng—“ your cracking voice softened into a mildly enjoyable breathy tone as you sang the last line, stretching your hand out for him as though you were serenading him. “If I don’t have you.”

“Well! That was definitely somethin’,” Tommy helped you off the stage while Maria continued to emcee, holding in her chuckle as you almost took a tumble down the singular step, Tommy quick to catch you. With a singular laugh, Maria ordered her husband to help sober you up a bit. “Get her some coffee.”

“I got it,” Joel stepped in, the deep mess of his southern rasp forcing your glassy eyes up to meet his. “Come on, Miss Houston. Let’s get a cup’a coffee in ya.”

You drunkenly slurred out your actual name as you allowed him to help walk you into the back kitchen, away from the drunken crowd. Joel chuckled and nodded as he got the coffee pot going, his back turned to you as you rested against the fridge.

“I know your name,” he replied, the simple sentence bringing a goofy grin to your face.

“Oh, yeah?” you flirted, biting your lip as you waited for him to turn around and grace you with eye contact. When he finally did, you literally felt your knees buckle, Joel’s eyes turning concerned for a moment until you steadied yourself.

“Lemme get you a chair.” He walked off to the office, returning a moment later with a wooden stool. He set it down by the metal island, ordering you to sit down with a pat onto the wood. “Take it you don’t drink often.”

“Never,” you corrected. “But I’m single and alone on Valentine’s day in the middle of an apocalypse, so…” you repeated Margot’s words from earlier before realizing you hadn’t seen her in at least an hour. “Margot! Have you—“

“She left with her husband ‘bout a half-hour ago,” he informed you before you had a chance to worry too much. “And you ain’t alone.”

“Huh?”

“You said you’re single and alone,” he replied, turning his back to you once more as the coffee pot began to fill the mug. “You ain’t alone.”

“Well, not literally, but—“ you shrugged, gesturing at yourself. “Not going home with anybody.”

“Well, gettin’ yourself drunk maybe put a wrench in that plan,” he chuckled, setting your cup down in front of you before walking to the fridge. “Need creamer?”

“No, I’ll just,” you took a sip of the hot liquid and hummed, enjoying the bitterness more than you did sober. “Pretty good.”

“I do pride myself on my coffee,” he walked off to the office and quickly returned with another chair, pulling it up to the island and sitting down in front of you. “You know how many guys out there would’ve been more than happy to keep you company tonight?”

“Oh, I’m sure there was a line,” you replied, your smirk growing into a smile as you watched Joel roll his eyes. “I don’t like any of the guys in town. They’re all too…brutal.”

Joel’s face fell a bit as he nodded, his knuckles tapping on the metal.

“I didn’t mean you—I just mean they’re all very…I don’t know,” you sighed and rested your forehead on the table.

“It’s alright,” he assured. “My ego ain’t bruised that bad.”

“I really didn’t mean you,” you spoke softly as your eyes met his again. “You’re not—I don’t consider you one of the guys in town. You’re like…untouchable to all of us, you know?”

“What?” He chuckled but his cluelessness was sincere.

“All of us women don’t see you as someone attainable. You’re…Joel. Too good for—“ Joel’s scoff interrupted your sentence before you could finish it, his head shaking.

“I ain’t too good for shit,” he corrected, his hazel eyes softening as he met yours. “And I definitely ain’t too good for you. Ask anyone in their right mind and they’d quickly tell ya it’s the other way around.”

“You trying to flirt with me?” you asked through. drunken grin, tilting your head at him. Joel chuckled and shrugged in response. “That wasn’t an answer.”

“Maybe you and I can talk about this when you’re sobered up—breakfast, tomorrow mornin’?” You didn’t try to hide the eagerness in your smile as you accepted his offer with a nod.

“I’d like that.”

After the dishes were finished, the two of you found yourself in the clawfoot bathtub Joel’s renovated house had been lucky to feature. You faced each other, your foot currently being massaged by Joel’s rough but tender hands.

“Your voice ain’t that bad, ya know,” Joel gave you a playful smirk, his eyes so focused on yours you could nearly feel his love for you deep in your soul.

“Well it was enough to get you to notice me,” you agreed with a smirk. Joel shook his head, his smile growing bashful.

“I noticed you way before that, trust me.” There was the tiniest hint of shyness—something boyish in his voice that made your stomach flutter, the look in his eyes just the cherry on top. “Only had the guts to ask you out ‘cause I thought you were too drunk to remember it.”

You gasped a chuckle, shifting over to sit on his lap, placing your hands on either side of his face as his rested on your hips. “You were crazy for ever thinking there was a chance I’d reject you. You’re a hunk, Joel Miller.”

“A hunk, huh?” he teased, bringing his lips to the base of your throat and giving your skin a soft peck.

“Mmhm,” you confirmed in a hum, the best response you could muster. Joel hummed back as his lips sucked tiny marks down the front of your chest until he was slipping your nipple into his mouth, earning the sweet sound of your breathy moans.

You tossed your head back, your hips rolling on their own accord, the slick drag of your cunt along the underside of his cock earning you a muffled growl as he kissed his way over to your other breast.

“Need you,” you whispered as you reached back and gripped his cock, lining him up with your heat before sinking down until you were flush with one another. Joel’s hands squeezed tightly at the sudden sensation of being buried in your heat, his lips pulling away from your nipple with a lewd pop. You grinned as you kept yourself still on his cock, your thumb brushing his cheekbone as you gazed down at him with contentment. “Love you, Miller.”

“Love you too, Miss Houston,” he replied with a matching, cheeky smile, his hands sliding up the curve of your spine and back down, resting on the globes of your ass and squeezing.

You lifted your hips almost completely off of him and locked eyes with him as you sank back down, Joel’s head tipping back against the edge of the tub. He moaned soft and sweet for you, his hands holding your waist as you started to bounce on him, your stare never leaving his as you began to target the head of his cock at your g-spot. He reached one hand up to cup your jaw, his thumb resting on your lip practically begging for you to take it into your mouth, and so you did. With a cheeky grin, you wrapped your lips around it and gave it a suck, humming at the whimper the act caused.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he praised, his eyes then traveling from your face down your torso until he was watching you spear yourself with his cock underneath the surface of the water. “Shit. You should see how pretty your pussy looks takin’ me.”

“Joel,” his words forced you to whine, your eyes squeezing shut as the tingling heat building in your core started to trickle down your thighs and up your spine. “Touch me and make me cum for you.”

“Anything you want, sweetheart.” His thumb found your clit, stroking imperfect circles over it as you started to bounce on him so hard he half-wondered if he might break you, but judging by your cries of praise, this was exactly how you wanted it. “God damn, darlin. Ridin’ me so good I—fuck—I’m gonna cum inside that pretty pussy.”

His free hand gripped your hip to leverage himself a bit as he met your bounces with sharp thrusts, the water splashing from over the edge of the tub but neither of you could bring yourselves to care about the wet floor with how close you both were to the edge.

“Shit, baby,” he growled, his neck straining as he tried to hold off his release until you hit yours. “Come on, gimme it. Lemme feel you—“

“Fuck!” you screamed as your climax hit you like a brick wall, your body collapsing forward into his arms. Joel held you tight as he pistoned into your still convulsing walls until every nerve in his body buzzed with the familiar feeling of euphoria, his cock pressing in deep as he spilled inside of you. His lips were pressed to your cheek, mumbling praise into your skin as your hearts raced in tandem, his hands stroking up and down the expanse of your back to ground you both.

“I love you, sweet thing,” he mumbled as he kissed his way to your lips, your head turning to meet him for a sweet, unhurried kiss. Joel pulled away with a chuckle, smiling at you before opening his lips to sing to you in his gruff but rich voice, “I have nothing if I don’t have you.”

“Sounds good when you sing it,” you mumbled, sleepy from the hot bath and hotter sex. Joel chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to your temple.

“My favorite version’s always gonna be your drunken performance,” he husked back, bringing a smile to your face. “But I might be a little biased.”

“More than a little.” Joel laughed and nodded, squeezing you tighter.

“Oh well. Don’t care.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 407: Wait Why Are You Running Away

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan figured out how to control his quirk upgrade and was totally chill and normal about it. Definitely not terrifying at all. He actually spent the entire chapter smiling and laughing like the wholesome little boy he is. I don’t know why Kid For One is so freaked out about it. He even politely introduced himself using his childhood nickname. Clearly he just wants to be friends with you, KFO!

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “sorry to keep you waiting, here’s the AFO and Yoichi flashback you ordered at long last” and proceeds to serve a nightmarish stew of HUMAN MISERY and RATS and STABBING and CARNAGE and SO MUCH MURDER and THE SINGLE MOST FUCKED-UP CASE OF CODEPENDENCY ANYONE HAS EVER WRITTEN. I was not even remotely prepared for any of this, and if anyone else claims that they were, I will call you a liar to your face. If this chapter had a mouth it would scream. Or just sob, ceaselessly and uncontrollably. I’m really glad Horikoshi is on break next week because that man needs to take a fucking nap. My god.

okay WOW

anyone else read the first two words and just immediately say to themselves, “oh okay, so it’s gonna be one of those chapters”? I mean, I guess we were due for a darker chapter after last week’s Kacchan Comedy Tour. but idk, I just wasn’t expecting “homeless sick prostitute with a drinking problem” levels of dark

AND SHE’S PREGNANT?!

what exactly is this manga rated again? doesn’t this backstory seem just a little bit raw for the impressionable kiddos??

has anyone actually checked in on Horikoshi recently? you know, just to make sure he is okay??

what a fun and wholesome manga this is

the lil baby arm covered in blood with the AFO hole on the palm. lying next to the dead mom hand. what an image to sear into our minds. I guess it’s been a while since he killed any dogs. gotta keep us on our toes somehow

also wasn’t expecting AFO and Yoichi to be twins! that puts an interesting spin on their relationship, because it’s usually a closer bond than even regular siblings. especially with all of that delightful shared trauma from a young age!!

yes, exactly

ohhhh this chapter is gonna hurt me, isn’t it. okay. ooooooookay. let’s do this

OH I’M SORRY, THERE’S MORE?!

Horikoshi my dude. you do realize that their mom dying in childbirth and the two of them just barely surviving and growing up as street orphans would have already been MORE than tragic enough, backstory-wise. you did not have to turn this into a freaking horror show with RATS TRYING TO EAT THEIR NEWBORN SELVES jesus christ

and THAT’S where you chose to put a one year timeskip?!

what the fuck am I reading here, you guys. no please tell me, I am actually desperate to understand

so the narrator is saying that some of the quirks manifested later in life, in “pubescent and pre-pubescent stages”, which is interesting because it’s the first time I can recall hearing about someone actually manifesting a quirk that late. maybe Deku’s old OFA cover story was more plausible than I realized

anyway so eventually it occurred to everyone that they should maybe freaking study this shit, idk. and eventually the researchers concluded that the superpowers came from a new gene that apparently isn’t human. and upon hearing that, society apparently lost its freaking mind. which is fascinating to me because it implies that the turning point wasn’t actually the superpowers themselves, but the realization of what it meant

like, so they were apparently fine with it when they thought it was a “mysterious disease”, but somehow it hit different when they learned it wasn’t actually a sickness at all, but instead the Next Step in Evolution. and it became an “us vs them” thing, as opposed to a “we have to cure these poor people” thing. damn

anyway so now Japan is a dystopia and we’re cutting to a big crowd of merc-looking dudes who are getting ready to attack some “meta freaks”, how lovely

but who is this figure in the shadows

I ask politely, as if it wasn’t already beyond obvious that this is AFO about to wreck some people’s shit

ohhhhh my god lmao

hopefully Katsuki and Deku can take the present day AFO out before he winds up looking like this. because this little fella is clearly demonic and idk if anyone can stop him

you all don’t understand. you need to run the fuck away right now

oh shit it’s already too late for them

it’s too late for any of us. it’s over. it’s all fucking over

((((；゜Д゜)))

AFO I am putting the manga down. I am backing away slowly with my hands in the air. I mean you no harm. please for the love of god have mercy

holy

“you see, we told you he wasn’t human” okay Scientific Research Group, you know what?? you win this round I guess

“HE WAS LITERALLY EVIL FROM BIRTH” HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY ARE YOU OKAY??

HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY is literally the most terrifying sentence I have ever read

what the entire fuck

it’s a gorgeous sunny mid-November afternoon outside my window. but no matter how hard it tries, the light cannot reach this place

what kind of moron would throw a can of soda at him. officially the stupidest person we have ever seen in this manga

OH MY GOD OF COURSE IT’S HIM LMAO

(ETA: how come baby Yoichi has clothes that fit him perfectly but baby AFO is just stomping around wearing a tablecloth.)

BABY YOICHI. OH MY GOD. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GROW UP TO BE SANE AND KIND AND GOOD. THAT’S MY QUESTION THAT I NEED ANSWERED RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE LITERALLY A MIRACLE. YOU ARE AN IMPOSSIBILITY, DO YOU KNOW THAT

small and weak, but also so, so cute. all of the cuteness genes went straight to him. no wonder AFO was jealous

(ETA: just want to press pause for a second to speculate about what type of twins AFO and Yoichi are, since it has some relevance to the story, and especially to the OFA/AFO quirk lore. so! at first glance the two of them would appear to be fraternal twins, just based on the fact that they have very different appearances, and also the fact that Yoichi doesn’t have the AFO quirk – no holes in his hands, etc. identical twins are born from the same fertilized egg, so in theory they would both have the same sequence of DNA, which means Yoichi would have had the same quirk as AFO. but that doesn’t appear to be the case. so all of that points to them being fraternal, not identical.

on the other hand, there is one piece of evidence in this chapter that does support them being identical twins, and that’s the fact that per the narration, AFO absorbed most of the nutrients from their mother. a few minutes of google fu informed me that this condition is relatively rare, and only happens in cases where two twins share a placenta, which typically is only the case for identical twins. HOWEVER, for what it’s worth, there have also been rare instances where two fraternal twin placentas fuse together and become a single placenta. AND this apparently also increases the chances of one of the twins gaining more of the nutrients and causing the other twin to have a lower birth weight.

so based on the evidence here, my conclusion is that the two of them are most likely fraternal twins with a case of placental fusion. besides, you can’t tell me that stealing his baby brother’s placenta while the two of them are literally still in the womb doesn’t sound like exactly the type of BS that fetus!AFO would pull, lol.)

HEY!?!

okay?!?!?! well to be fair he did throw that soda at him

oh my god this is so fucked up. in like the best and worst way possible

I genuinely couldn’t ask for a better AFO backstory. it’s so incredibly twisted, and you actually do feel sorry for him. or at least I do. but it’s also beyond clear that this kid was FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REASON right from the get go. zero goodness in him. literally doesn’t see other people as people. sees them as possessions only. things to rule over. not other thinking, feeling human beings. and that includes his own little brother

but. even if it’s not actually what I would call love, there’s still... attachment, there. it’s the closest he can get to actually caring about someone. guh. just, somehow they have both managed to humanize him, and at the same time made him less human than ever. this manga, man. this fucking manga, though

lmao and here we go. Captain Hero

you know, all those times that I made fun of AFO for not knowing how to read, I never suspected that the twist in his backstory would be that he LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO READ dfksjdlfkjslkdf

but seriously though. because Yoichi appears to be self-taught, and I can’t see AFO having the patience for that, and CLEARLY no one else was around to teach him, sooooo...

oh my goodness it’s actually getting wholesome up in here

what a good fucking boy. poor AFO. fuck me, I can’t help it. it’s not your fault you’re the world’s greatest monster you poor bastard

now we’re cutting to THREE YEARS LATER. okay

is he going to declare war on the glowing baby

typical teenager concerned about nothing but likes and view counts. AFO you would be so much happier if you stopped worrying about all of that and just focused on your own growth

oh, lol. well that was quick

(ETA: r.i.p. Damien.)

“this guy had more instagram followers than me. so I killed him” honey. sweetie pie. you need therapy

omfg

all this time I was wondering who AFO’s middle school lit teacher was who had failed so spectacularly at teaching him reading comprehension. and it was YOICHI ALL ALONG. omg

“and, presumably, that’s how it always was and always will be.” dude. can you imagine listening to AFO’s oral book report on A Tale of Two Cities. “ahem. it was the Best of Times. the end” buddy noooooooo

it was at that moment when Yoichi knew, etc. etc.

oh my GOD I scrolled down to the next panel right after this one and I just IMMEDIATELY DIED LAUGHING

“WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID” ffffffffffffffff I fucking can’t omfg

NOW THIS HUSSY IS STEALING HIS BROTHER AWAY FROM HIM NOOOOOOO

HE’S HIS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!

oh my god the hands. so wait, is this just the standard symbolic BnHA handholding, or are there More Levels To This. when exactly did Yoichi pass OFA on to Kudou. like is that why the sudden close-up and all that? omg

WHAT!!!!

OH THAT’S THE END, HUH? THAT’S THE END RIGHT THERE, AND THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS. I SEE. OKAY THEN. EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT MY LAPTOP DOWN AND GO INTO THE NEXT ROOM AND SCREAM INTO A PILLOW

oh my god. and break next week too. this is what you guys have been dealing with this entire time huh. I understand your feelings now. godfuckingdammit lmao

[luv4georgie]

ooh that prompt list is lowkey 🔥🔥

can i get a (squinting like im trying to order fast food) number 14 angst? it can be with any sauce (driver)

my kind of woman.

Oscar Piastri x fem!reader

in which formula one star, Oscar Piastri, and girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n, get into a fight over something extremely stupid.

warnings: FLASHBACKS IN ITALICS, extremely slightly toxic, shouting, mentions of Gods torture to woman because of what Eve did 🙄🙄, swearing!!!

prompt 14 on angst- “just… lay down with me”

“your my, my, my, kinda woman”

“don’t even bother coming Y/n” was the last words that came out of Oscar’s mouth. he’s called me shortened version of my name during an argument before but never my full name. my face dropped and my stomach sunk to my feet when i heard my boyfriend say my full name. that’s when i instantly thought it was my fault. Oscar was off to the Australian Grand Prix after the ‘fight’ happened. it wasn’t physical or anything just really verbal. i was scared of him. i couldn’t tell if he could tell i was. he really shouted. i don’t know why. i was on my period, which made things 10x worse. as soon as i heard the hotel door slam shut, i burst into sobs.

-

“Oscarr” i sung, skipping over to my boyfriend. it was day 3 of my period and i was in a pretty good mood because i hadn’t got any cramps today. it was around 7-8am and i wasn’t tired for some reason. “what” my boyfriend, Oscar, responded to me. i flinched slightly, but brushed it off and smiled. i wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind him. he was sitting on the hotel couch with a coffee sat on the table in-front of him, going cold. i kissed his temple but instead of doing something nice in return, he grabbed my arms and shoved me off of him. i let out a quiet ‘oh’ as i felt a pang in my chest. “oh” he mocked in a weird, lazy tone. i just narrowed my eyes at him. “sorry?” i said, making sure i heard him right. “oh shush Y/n”. he rarely uses my full name on me so it was clearly serious.

“what’s wrong Osc?” i asked. “oh my god” he whispered to himself. i stepped back in disgust at my boyfriends new attitude. he turned his head around to face me “i told you to shush? didn’t you fucking here me?” he said a little but louder this time. “but i was just trying to find out what’s u-” i started. then he got up and really shouted. what had him in such a bad mood this morning? tears pricked my eyes as he shouted all horrible words at me. “O-Osc-” “no Y/n, i don’t want to fucking hear it”. i was really upset. i hadn’t done anything. have i? then i heard him mumble under his breath. ‘stupid bitch’ “Oscar what the fuck?!” i whisper-shouted, due to my tears getting in the way of everything. “you heard me.” he said. then i cried. “jesus christ… here you go with fucking crying” he says, throwing his hands in the air and letting them smack back down by his sides. making me flinch hard. he didn’t even care. “don’t even bother coming Y/n”

(hours later…)

my face was buried in the hotel pillows. i was trying to sleep but i couldn’t i just laid there, face down blankly. my cheeks were stained with tears. but i didn’t care. i just sat there for hours, rethinking and trying to figure out what i had done wrong that morning. until i heard the front door open, a bag drop and light footsteps coming towards the door. “hi baby” was what i heard. hi baby? the fucking audacity this man has to scream in my face and come back to say ‘hi baby’?? after not getting a response, Oscar walked over to the bed, took of his shoes, tried to touch my leg in a form of comfort but i just shook him off of me. he sat on the bed for a few seconds, most likely watching to see if i would respond. after still no reply he got up and turned the shower on. he was probably sweaty anyways. after a few minutes (because whoever wrote this, oh me, is lazy asf) Oscar came out the shower and put a pair of sweats on and a hoodie.

i felt the bed dip beside me and a hand went on my lower back. “are you okay?” he said. i just got up, grabbed a pillow and went to the couch. Oscar shouted after me “Y/n/n!”. still no response. he followed me out the room and to the couch. “what’s up sweetheart?” he asked. “what’s up? what’s fucking up? what do you mean Oscar? you fucking screamed at me this morning and now your trying to see what’s up?” i finally confronted him. he squinted his eyes at himself and once he finally remembered everything he ran a hand over his face. “i’m so sorry about that, my love, i was just really tired” “that’s not an excuse to shout at me Oscar, i was really upset” i whimpered. he just had a-lot of sympathy in his eyes and left me there, sitting on the rather uncomfortable couch.

after minutes that felt like hours, i got up and went to the bedroom me and Oscar had set in. i cracked the door open slightly. “Osc?” i whispered. “yes?” he replied. “can i sleep in here? i’m sorry i tried to sleep on the couch”. even in the dark i could tell Oscar was smiling. “please, just… come and lie down with me, i want to hold you” so that’s just what i did. “i love you Y/n/n, so much and i’m sorry i lashed out on you like that. it wasn’t okay and i will do everything in my power to make sure it will never ever happen again. im so so sorry and i love you so so much” “i love you too koala” we both giggled and lay there, holding, kissing and touching each-other. not sexually. just like we had been touched starved our whole lives and we just wanted human contact. i love him and i trust he wouldn’t do it again.

-

AUTHORS NOTE: sorry this is short :( it’s midnight after all and i have an assignment due at 9 that i haven’t actually done so i will 1000000% be doing that… AFTER I DO SOME OTHER REQUESTS 🥳🥳 don’t worry its not an assignment that matters. i’m already trained in Marine Biology (my dream job!!) and can’t wait to pursue my career!!!

[pimosworld]

Company

Pairing -triple frontier boys x f!reader

Content warnings-18+,MDNI,NSFW, piv sex,oral sex, public sex,mentions of ptsd,light angst,fluff,smut. Explicit, this is an established poly relationship

Summary- sexually frustrated reader gets lost in thoughts about her boys.

wc-3.8k

Notes- this is my first fic ever so please feel free to comment with suggestions. I’ve been putting off writing for so long and I’m nervous to post but so excited. I hope you enjoy!

You’re not sure why the drive home is so quiet, Benny had won his fight after all. Even though it was off a technicality, he still won fair and square. Usually he’s buzzing with excitement after a win but right now, as you’re sandwiched between him and Santi in the backseat of the Jeep, you can tell he’s fuming. The heat radiating off his body should have long dissipated it’s been nearly an hour since he’d won.

Earlier in the locker room

“I know it’s not the way you wanted to win but we’re all still proud of you babe.”

It’s just him and you leaning against the wall inside the locker rooms. The rest of the boys are out grabbing beers, and are likely having the same conversation you’re having right now. He’s got a far away stare in his eyes that you’ve seen before, but not since your days in delta. That was years ago, and now you just want to kiss his face and tell him everything is okay. You won’t though because even though he won and he knows you always take care of him after a win, the only thing he’s said to you since you joined him in the locker room was that he didn’t want any company tonight.

It stings a little even though it shouldn’t. He’s entitled to want some space, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you are being a little selfish brat at the moment. It’s not entirely your fault when after a win he’s usually got you pressed against the lockers with your skirt bunched up around your torso, your legs wrapped around his waist and your hands on his bare shoulders. His strength after a fight is always surprising. Normally at this point, he’s holding you up with ease as he roughly fucks you against the lockers with your muffled cries of pleasure getting lost into the crook of his neck. His cock would be slammings into you over and over until you both reach your peak together. Jesus Christ you need to get a grip because you're having flashbacks about the man that is right next to you, and clearly upset.

Is your brain seriously letting you be this ridiculous? You live with 3 other men who are fully capable of keeping you company tonight. There’s just something about Benny after a fight that you can’t shake the feeling, the craving you have for him. That hungry look in his eyes when he has you laid out on the bench with his head between your thighs. He kisses your thighs and runs his tongue slowly up to your aching center,as if he’s forgotten he’s in a locker room and you most definitely can’t take your time. But he always does with you, he slowly licks your folds, his tongue feels hot compared to the cold bench on your back. The duael sensations are driving you mad. He nips at your clit and you look down at him almost in protest but those piercing blue eyes look back at you and he has this shit eating grin on his face. It’s the one you love and know when he’s being playful, he just wants to make sure you’re still here with him. He continues circling your clit with his tongue and you know you’re dripping down onto the bench beneath you. You’re desperately trying to be quiet but he adds a finger into you and you lose all train of thought as he fucks into you at a rapid pace, his tongue flicks your clit and a chill runs down your spine as you lose all sense of where you are. Your quiet whimpers have now turned into louder moans of his name.

Jesus fucking Christ you’re doing it again, get a grip. You can survive one night without Benny.

You will just have to torture one of the others with your frustrations, and how fun might that be?

As your thoughts drift back to the present, you’re in the car and you can see that Will has fallen asleep in the front seat. He’s been training Ben all week and is likely exhausted and a bit frustrated as well with the results. Will hates technicality wins because it messes with his overall record. Ben has been fighting for so long now it’s mostly knockouts across the board. Will is calculated and calm, he always has been. He’s the perfect trainer to juxtapose Benny’s fired up demeanor.

He was very calculated just two mornings ago when he fucked you in the kitchen. You both had a restless night sleep so you found yourselves bright and early in the kitchen enjoying your coffee together like a domestic couple in the suburbs. Except you weren’t a domestic couple by any means were you? No, both of you are in a full on relationship with 3 other people, both e your black coffee in your shared home at 5 am because you both had nightmares ( you all have nightmares) from your time in delta, and from your various other illegal activities after leaving the service.

You hate the restless nights but you love mornings like this, where the two of you, and sometimes all five of you,can enjoy your black coffee in silence, like the silent trained killers that you are (were?). That doesn’t matter, that’s just a joke between you and Santiago anyway.

“Are you done with your coffee?” Will asks with that sultry drawl of his voice still lazy with the lack of sleep.

You don’t answer but you slowly set your cup down on the granite countertop. He tilts his head and levels you with those blue eyes you’ve grown to love over the years. He’s let his hair grow out since leaving the service and his beard comes in nicely just slightly darker than his blonde hair that you love to pull when things get intimate. He stalks towards you in his gray sweatpants and crisp white, and too tight, t-shirt. You still haven’t answered him as he cages you against the cold counter top. You can feel the hard press of his cock against your abdomen in your thin oversized army T shirt. Is it yours? You’re not even sure anymore, it’s probably Frankie’s shirt but Will doesn’t care. He obviously doesn’t mind sharing.

He slowly grabs the hem of the shirt, his fingers dancing against your thighs. He raises his eyebrow at you asking for permission because of course it’s Will. You take his hands away from your shirt and quickly toss it over your head as it lands somewhere to your left to be found later. He stills in front of you taking in your naked form.

“ No panties or bra?” He asks you another question as if you’ve answered the first question.

What was the first question? He wastes no time lifting you onto the cold counter top. He kisses your neck and slowly drags his tongue down the line until he reaches your nipple, taking his time sucking and using his hand to grab the other breast and squeeze, brushing his thumb across your nipple. Your whole body is alight with goosebumps now, and pretty much anytime, Will ever touches you.

Before you can finish recanting your thoughts of the other morning you’re rudely interrupted by Santi poking you in the rib.

“Ouch what the fuck!”

“Calm down Honey I barely poked you!”

Even in the darkness of the car you can see his piercing gaze and his shit eating grin.

“Yeah, I’m trying to figure out why you poked me?” You say sassier than you wanted and return the grin in favor with slightly more of a smile than you wanted .

Frankie chimes in from the drive’rs seat

He asked you a question? When? You can’t even remember with your thoughts so caught up in fantasizing about the men you lived with.

“Hermosaaaaa, are you still with us?” Frankie’s eyes are somehow on you in the rear view mirror and paying attention to the road at the same time.

“We’ll I’ve got your attention now so I’ll ask again” Pope says in a bit of high pitched annoyance. “Which one of us is your favorite?”

You scoff at the idea that you would even answer let alone think that this stupid question is what pulled you from your thoughts of you and Will the other morning.

“ Do you actually think she would answer that?” Ben chimes in from beside you and you notice some of the heat and annoyance has dissipated from his demeanor.

He now seems more relaxed, shoulders less tense. You relax a little at the sight of your Benny returning to you. Still, you will give him his space tonight because he asked and you will always respect their space. That’s the only way this all works…respect.

“ You know I’m not answering that, and besides you all annoy me with equal vigor so I couldn’t possibly have a favorite.””.

Without turning to face Santi, you dart out your right hand to poke him in the ribs but he catches your wrist and stops you full force. You wouldn’t dare turn your head to see the fucking Cheshire Cat smiling back at you in the darkness of the car. You already know he’s proud of himself because his chuckling is reverberating through your hand that he still has clasped in his grip.

He leans in real close to your ear ( not helping your predicament) you can smell the musky cologne and the faint smell of beer.

“Ah ah ah, gotta be quicker than that,” he says playfully, still sensing your annoyance.

You rip your wrist out of his grasp and huff in frustration, as you glance back at the front seat and see Will still sound asleep. It warms your heart because sleep is hard to come by sometimes, and Will could certainly use some shut-eye.

So you’re obviously checking Will off your list of who will be your victim tonight. Between his long week and the way Frankie drives, anyone was bound to fall asleep.

Your thoughts perk up thinking of Frankie, as you watch him drive with such ease and control. The broadness of his shoulders as he lazily turns the wheel onto a familiar street. He always has such control when it comes to anything besides you. He would gladly lose control for you. Just the thought of the first time you saw him fly a helicopter can make you cum. That’s what attracted you to him in the first place. Although you couldn’t believe how you had managed to be placed in delta force with the four hottest men in the world. it wasn’t really fair. You supposed that Tom kept things equal, statistically speaking, being the least attractive of them all.

Frankie could definitely ease your frustrations tonight. He could never say no to you, it seemed there wasn’t a time when he didn’t want you. Once again you find your thoughts drifting off to the other day. It was a hot humid day in Florida. The kind you hated because everything stuck to you in all the wrong places. The sweat seems never ending on days like this and the bugs won’t leave you alone. Benny and Will were busy training at the gym and Santi was holed up in his office. You didn’t bother him on those days because you knew his mind would often take him to dark places. It had rained quite a bit the night before, and you knew the rain always brought thoughts of Columbia. He always took it the hardest and so you would leave him be for now.

That left you and Frankie to make what you could of this day and you knew he would do anything for you, and with you. The day had started off innocently enough, the two of you deciding to go to the beach.

Once you’ve arrived at the beach you quickly realize your mistake…everyone else in Florida had the same idea, and you and Frankie audibly groan at the sight of what feels likea thousand cars and a million people. Neither of you are in the mood for large crowds .

“What do you think Honey?”

You glance at Frankie in the driver’s seat and can’t help but smile. He tries so hard for you, you can see his smile lines have deepened over the years and his cap that perfectly frames his curls has faded slightly. You place your hand gently on his arm that’s gripping the steering wheel a little too tight and notice the blue shirt he’s wearing hugging his bicep.

“Let’s go home “ you try to say with conviction so that he thinks you’re not upset in the slightest.

“I feel bad we came all this way,” “ he says as he pulls onto the road and you notice his frown. You just want to pull him into a kiss so that he never makes that face again.

“ I really am enjoying watching you drive so it’s not a total waste.””. You throw a wink his way and see that smile return that you love so much. You decide to just enjoy the drive and the only breeze you’ll get all day with the windows down.

He keeps glancing over at you but you’re not sure he knows you can tell. You did wear his favorite sundress. It’s red with little blue flowers on it, t. Thin straps and a very low neckline that perfectly frames your breasts. The hem hits just above the knee, but with the way you’rer seated in the front, it’s slightly higher. He chances one more glance at you and you can’t help but tease a little.

“See something you like Morales?”

He doesn’t answer you but places his warm palm on your upper thigh. You’re both facing forward because you don’t dare look at him now, and of course he’s focused on the road. He inches his hand higher until his fingers dance across your aching center. Your breath hitches in your throat when he starts to rub circles on your clit with his calloused fingers.

“You’re so wet for me hermosa, just watching me drive get you like this?”

You don’t answer him but you slowly spread your thighs wider to give him room. He groans at the gesture and moves your panties to the side to drag a finger slowly up and down, your slick now coating his hand. He stills his movement at your slight whimper and chances a glance in your direction. Your breathing has become ragged and he watches your chest rise quickly trying to calm yourself. Reluctantly he pulls his hand away but you watch as he slowly brings his hand to his mouth and liocks his finger.

He looks back at the road and says in the most sultry tone you’ve ever heard grace his lips.

“If I don’t pull over I’m going to crash this fucking car.”

You smile to yourself, you don’t have much of an ego but it’s erotic to know how much you turn him on by just wearing a dress. They all can be very simple that way, and sometimes you find yourself drunk on the power that knowledge holds.

He drives for a while and you think maybe he was just talking but you start to not recognize your surroundings. The beach long in your rear view has now turned into long leaf pine trees, the smell is intoxicating. He’s definitely taking the long way home and you don’t mind at all. Before you can get caught up in scenery you notice he’s pulled off the main road, he nestled the Jeep between some trees. Just enough cover you think for what he has planned.

Between the nearly illegal tint on the Jeep and the trees you have plenty of privacy, although at the moment you don’t really care with how keyed up you are just from his fingers. Something about them being a vet lets them evade the tickets they would normally get for the darker than limo tint on the windows.

He carefully takes the keys out of the ignition, still not looking at you and carefully sets them in the cup holder. He slides his seat back to give you room (you assume). A comfortable silence falls between the two of you. Something you’re grateful for amongst all of them. They always make you feel comforted without speaking. Yyou can be yourself and just sit in the silence. Their presence is a blanket of protection that washes over you each and every day.

“Come here” he says in his low, husky tone. ,iIt’s not a question, but more of a command.

In less time than it takes you to blink you’re in his lap, your thighs on either side of his. You make quick work of his belt and he lifts you with him to slide his pants down. Each time you see his impressive length it takes your breath away. Frankie usually takes his time working you up but you’re already so wet you don’t want to waste anymore time, or risk getting caught. He gasps at the touch of your soft hand as you line yourself up to slide down his cock. The stretch has you both panting like you’ve run for miles. You rest your head against his broad chest, while he grips your waist as tight as he was holding the steering wheel just moments ago.

“Pleas-“ you both pant in unison. Which causes a chuckle from both of you. Neither of you know what you’re asking of the other. Is he asking you to move? Are you asking him to move?

Suddenly a sharp pain in your ribs has ripped you from your thoughts of Frankie and harshly thrust you back into reality, ( which you think you’re starting to lose your grip on).

“Earth to honey” Santi says in a sing-song tone.

You don’t normally mind that they call you by your call sign, it’s always sweet and endearing. Right now though, with the way Santi has interrupted your lewd thoughts not once but twice you want to break the finger that keeps poking you in the ribs.

Just as you’re about to give him a piece of your mind, you hear a loud groan from the driver’s seat.

“You good Fish?” Santi asks with concern for his best friend, the person he would do anything in the world for.

“Ya hermano it’s fine, it’s just my back is killing me and I’m ready to get home and lay out.”

You internally groan…well shit Frankie is off the list of victims. You would never disturb him on a night where he’s in pain. You all have been through the ringer between the service and your post service activities, and it’s definitely taken a toll on your bodies…some more than others.

You turn to look at Santi and resume your conversation about what his problem is with your ribs when suddenly it dawns on you.

He should’ve been your chosen victim from the start, he’s always so smug and you rarely get the chance to return the favor of him edging you for what can seem like hours. It usually doesn’t take much temptation from you to get him going.

You slowly start to slide your hand up his thigh, running your fingers along the seam of his tight jeans that always show off his great ass. You’re inching higher and without looking at you, you can tell he’s letting you as he slowly spreads his leg. You palm at his half hard cock through his jeans and you hear a low groan from somewhere deep in his throat.

You just want to tease him until you get home and then you can do with him what you want for as long as you deem necessary.

He adjusts his feet to give you more room and suddenly you hear a hiss come from him. You withdraw your hand immediately, fearing that you hurt him somehow.

“Did I hurt you?” You whisper into his ear so that the others can’t hear you.

“No carinño, it’s just my knees are killing me after last night,” he says apologetically.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you say out loud accidentally instead of in your head, like you meant to.

The look of shock and horror is etched onto Santi’s face and you just want the car to swallow you whole. You glance at Frankie in the rear view mirror and he has a look of concern and shock as well. You look to your right at Benny and the look of amusement is spread wide across his face. At least something good has come out of your outburst . It seems that the Benny you know and love is back and is loving the predicament you’ve most certainly got yourself into.

He crosses his arms and levels you with a grin and he just knows somehow where your thoughts have been this entire trip home.

“Care to share your thoughts with the class hermosa?” Frankie says slightly less concerned, now that he can see the embarrassment written across your face.

“No,no it’s fine….I’m fine, I’ll be okay “ you’re trying to convince yourself. “I just need a really cold shower.””. You say as you let your head drop onto Benny’s shoulder.

“Well we’re almost home, do you think you can survive until then? He asks now completely amused with this whole situation that he’s clearly missed because he’s been safely trying to get you all home.

Probably not, you think to yourself this time instead of saying it out loud.

Who could survive being surrounded by these four men who on any occasion you could have your way with yet tonight, as if it’s some horrible joke, you can’t have any of them. You start to think that you’re being a bit of a brat again, but you’re too far gone to care.

You feel like a fairytale gone horribly wrong, instead of Snow White and the seven dwarves it’s Honey and the four mercenaries. Mopey, Sleepy, Achey, and Breaky.

You’re now audibly laughing and concern washes over the car again.

“What did I miss, what’s so funny?” Will chimes in from the front seat, now wide awake.

“Nothing, I just think we broke her.” Santi states from beside you, careful to watch your movements for any sudden jabs to the rib. He thinks your laughter is a distraction to sneak attack him but you’ve long forgotten all about him interrupting your thoughts.

As Frankie turns the last corner onto your street, you silently resign to yourself.

You’ll just have to keep your own company tonight.

@melodygatesauthor Thank you so much for proofreading and adding your lovely comments. It means so much to me 🥰

[punkascas]

okay, so i don't want to, like, Start Something or whatever so we're doing a barely-tagged, separate post. i also realise this is mostly pointless because others have already said what i'm going to say, and did it better, with far more grace, and sound less like an asshole than i do.

but jesus louise helen christ, the weird fucked up ideas people have around abuse and personal responsibility and the effect of trauma. like as an abuse and csa survivor, it genuinely alarms me to read posts that use arguments i remember my dad making. like, i'm assuming most of this rhetoric comes from gen z — maybe that's inaccurate; maybe that's unfair. but right now i'm very much Having A Moment Here that the kids aren't alright.

no 22-year-old should be repeating the same awful, manipulative, logically and morally bankrupt justifications for violence and torture my dad says. like literally what's in the first two episodes of ofmd s2 is torture.

i love ed; he's an amazing character. taika is hella wowza top marks acting him. but like.

like.

torture, my dude. physical and psychological. trauma. harassment. that we see the lasting effects of through s2.

just. i. what??

so here we go, okay. have too many, zealously highlighted screenshots so i can dig into details.

cut to save your dashes. content warning for discussions of abuse and trauma (if that wasn't obvious), as well as spoilers for ofmd s2.

re: ed knew what he was doing was wrong and felt guilty about it at the time:

we have no on-screen, textual examples of this. not in the dialogue; not in the acting; not in the blocking; not in the cinematography or music. nothing.

knowing the crew are overworked and kind of traumatised by all the violence, ed bribes them with cake. because, as we know, cake like tea fixes everything. only ed wasn't even with them to share in the eating of the cake. he made izzy responsible for that. he doesn't give the crew a break; he doesn't choose less ethically-fraught prizes to hunt. there is not one scene of ed talking directly to the crew — until he points a gun at each of them.

we see ed crying (and drinking, and rhino horn-ing [way to help further extinction, man]) but it's always paired with shots or flashbacks that reference stede. ed is still all up in his feelings about stede, and ed confirms this when he tells frenchie the myth about albatrosses never needing to return to land. ed cannot go back, does not want to go back, because he was rejected. (like, stede is literally landed gentry, come on!) all he wants to do instead is stay at sea committing to this unhinged version of unstable, sadistic piracy.

but okay, okay. say we ignore all of that. let's say ed does feel sorry and guilty and ashamed of his actions. he knows what he's doing is wrong and unfair and cruel. that it's harming others. that it's particularly harming the dude that ed has, for better or worse, basically spent his life with (izzy; i mean izzy). ed… still continues to do the things! how far off are we at this point from the definition of malicious? you know action x hurts person b and then you do it anyway. is that honestly a better, happier, more ethically defensible reading of the character?

re: the crew didn't mutiny because they love ed despite his violent, sadistic actions.

mutinies were a thing, yes. but both historically and in the world rules established by the show, mutiny is disincentivised through threats, distraction via extra work, and corporeal punishment. we see both ed and izzy use all three of these to try to prevent the crew from disobeying orders. they didn't wait until the storm and izzy shooting ed to mutiny because they understood or sympathised with ed; they took the chance to kill him then because that was the first real opportunity they'd had. the reward finally out-weighed the risk given that ed was going to kill them all that night anyway.

again, we have no scenes, no dialogue, no visual or audio cues to tell us that the crew understands or loves ed — excluding izzy, obviously. fang could also be on that list, if you take into account his personality and his behaviour both in s1 and later in s2 in the fishing boat scene. but in the first two episodes, we only see the crew show trauma responses around ed. they talk about him but almost never to him. and when they do have a direct conversation with ed, it is either confrontation or head down, submissive, "of course, blackbeard; anything you say" placating. i'm so baffled where the show points to any sign of love from the crew towards ed before his "death".

re: ed can't be held responsible because he was suicidal.

uhm. no. hard no. a harder no than stede's brazilian cherry wood mast. fucked up people do fucked up things but part of being an adult is owning your fucked-upped-ness and not fucking up others while you work on unfucking yourself. children, children are not fully responsible for the impact of their actions on others when they're deep in their feelings, especially if they're feeling their feelings as a trauma response. this is because literally their brain cannot do that kind of control. it doesn't have that software pack installed yet. ed does have all the adult updates installed, even if he isn't running them at that moment. he has no right to take out his feelings on other people: to maim them, to psychologically torture them, to abuse them, to work them to exhaustion. to kill them. he does not get a free pass to do suicide by abused employees. (like suicide by cop but more indirect and passive and harmful.) talk about passive aggressive.

secondly, ed is not just passively suicidal and happy to find new risks that might end his life. he is very purposefully taking izzy with him (see: literally removing the bits of izzy that would help let him walk away from ed; the fact that ed becomes actively suicidal only once he thinks izzy is dead; the whole keeping izzy's corpse in front of his and stede's beach shack i mean inn — the codependence, she runs deep). ed is also putting the crew through the same risks, the same isolation, the same danger. both stede and izzy agreed that ed had gone full scorched earth policy. you don't get forgiven for the murder part of a murder-suicide pact just because of the suicide part. not to mention that no one (once again, you could potentially argue izzy as an exception) was good on a murder-suicide pact with blackbeard.

and then to say the crew felt guilty? i assume i'm misreading that. the crew. felt guilty. for ed's actions. that is, if not victim blaming and if not darvo, a very close inbred cousin of them. like hapsburg jaw inbred close.

re: ed healing and his view of himself as a monster.

to heal means, in part, to accept responsibility for the harm you've caused, whether it was intentional or not. it means making amends. it means building or rebuilding relationships where possible. it means putting the other person or persons' feelings and boundaries and need for safety above your desire for absolution or forgiveness. it means working through your own guilt and shame and anger (or whatever drove you to act the way you did) in a separate space, not with the people you hurt, but someone who can be a step removed, more impersonal and objective to help you reflect and face hard truths as needed. i say this as both someone involved in activism and community reparations and as an abuse survivor who has done nearly 30 years of therapy learning this in order to not hurt people. it's not ed's fault he's fucked up just like it isn't my fault i am. but it is on me, like it is on anyone, to make sure i limited as much as possible the harm i can cause to others because i learned some awful but very effective tricks at a young age to survive.

ed does not really do any of the above. he doesn't say "sorry". he speaks in generalised language. he complains about the cat bell (which he seems to wear only for one day, given the implied timeline with lucius and pete's engagement). i have a model ship on a stand that says "this is a safe space ship" as a joke because i work for the government and have written press releases that sound just like ed's "apology". where you take no responsibility and encourage "the culture" to move on.

so, really, my question becomes: ed sees himself as a monster. in s1, we had enough balance between ed's current actions and his referenced past actions to see this belief as likely untrue. in s2 though — i mean, is it? is that an unfair or inaccurate belief? i can understand how carrying that belief can get in the way of ed's growth and eventual healing but like. from an outside perspective of ed-the-fictional-character. he's not a "good" person. he's capable of and has done and continued to do horrible, cruel things. ethically, can you argue with that statement about him?

re: ed trying to destroy relationships because of his self-worth issues and instead the consequences of his actions proving that he's loved.

this is the point that made me go: right, no, i need to respond. i need to say my piece about this. izzy and the crew suffering ed's violent tyranny and then sticking around on the revenge anyway afterwards is not a sign of love. it is not showing love to bear pain for someone. it not showing love to let someone mistreat you, threaten you, hurt you, maim you. their actions are selfish and done to give them feelings of power and control over you. lying back and thinking of england to get through it is not love. it is absolutely a survival technique. but it is not love when you do it at the expense of yourself or others.

i also disagree that ed was trying to push people away or break his relationships with others. we know from s1 that ed is fairly blasé about whether crew members die. again, we don't see any friendly or intimate exchanges between ed and any of the crew to imply any kind of relationship there beyond "tools who accomplish ed's goals". the one exception, as always, is izzy. and as previously stated, ed seems bound and determined, in a very conscious way, to bring izzy into death with him. ed does everything in his power to make izzy want to kill ed, or at least agree that it's best if ed dies, and to want to kill himself so ed doesn't have to die alone. that isn't ed breaking that relationship; it's making it permanent in a really fucked up shakespearian way. the only relationship we see ed waffle between wanting to keep and wanting to push away is stede. after his corporate "apology" and the fishing trip with fang, all of ed's dialogue is with stede and a little bit with zheng until izzy's death scene. the crew loving ed just isn't a thing, at least not one we're shown. not from either side. ed's relationships are with stede and kind of, sort of with izzy (because he does manage to, if not fully break, do some major damage to that).

love did not save ed. ed wanting to live, because stede came back, because he didn't want to jump off hornigold's cliff in the first place, saved ed. izzy saved everyone else.

so yeah: that's it; that's the post. the rhetoric that abuse is love or that abuse can be "cured" with love or that trauma isn't lasting and serious and has impacts on people's daily lives is just. wild. wild.

and terrifying.

my dad was born in the 40s. why is anyone born in the 80s or later still defending this mindset? it honestly, truly freaks me out.

guess it's good i have a fucking therapy appointment on monday.

[queenofallimagines]

Can you do Blue Lock Sae x female reader x Rin? The brothers are fighting for her love.

A/N: I SURE THE FUCK CAN!! The itoshi effect is hating them both and then post backstory explanation coming to like them both a lot😔

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

Sae & Rin itoshi:

- okay so boom

- Had another OC though of being like a counselor at blue lock bc none of them boys is right in the head😭

- You have previous connections to Sae bc you were a counselor for another team he was on and his manager liked you so he would schedule private sessions

- Ended up in you leaving bc he’s so frustrating but alas fate has other plans

- You show up to the U-20 match bc DUH

- Anri doesn’t have any money to hire a manager also so you’re taking over that role

- Sorry😔

- Anyway rin comes to respect you for dragging him by his eyelashes about his trauma

- “So are we gunna start with hating yourself and thinking you’re not good enough to prove a point to your shitty brother OR are we working on your material conditions that stem from that today?”

- “…..off yourself”

- Like he can’t say shit back bc you got em!

- Comes in often enough now that he doesn’t schedule sessions he just shows up to spill the tea

- (Isagi and bachira are the same. the spies on the inside that tell you how the others are doing)

- He comes in and flops down in the chair

- “I’m not looking forward to seeing him. Why the fuck did they call HIM to help the team? His ass should have stayed in Spain!”

- “Oh I hear ya, I’m not looking forward to even making eye contact with his ass either. I’m counting on yall to win.”

- “The game-“

- “I want yall to crush him. I have my own personal beef with him.”

- “…….im not asking how.”

- You’re being restrained from jumping over the divider during the game to go swing on Sae

- Like did you see that?? THE AUDACITY

- DID NOBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE STADIUM HEAR THAT SHIT??

- Yeah I would have swing on his ass right when the final whistle blew

- Better than me for him to get that mess out his mouth about isagi

- Would have stood up and clocked his ass

- When they’re all jumping all over each other celebrating you can feel the bad vibes coming from rin

- It’s suffocating

- You run to the locker rooms to catch him and bump into sae(accompanied by shidou)

- “……”

- Glaring at his ass

- Give him the dirtiest look ever

- And then turn to Ryusei smiling like you saw a puppy

- “Hey Ryu! Wonderful performance you put on today. You definitely stole the show.”

- Like lmao just ignore him pls

- After saving rin from going off the deep end; bc baby I’m so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would say something like that to you

- Their two week vacation starts

- Rin is surprised to see you in not work clothes chilling like a regular person

- Ends up hanging out with you a lot bc you’re the only one who he can speak freely to

- Unfortunately his brother is also back in the country

- Running into Sae while hanging out with his brother was NOT on your vacation bingo card but here we are

- “You’re here?”

- “I could really say the same to you. You haven’t gotten citizenship to stay your ass over there yet?”

- Flashback✨ y’all had a casual thing back in the day because when he’s not closed off he can be pretty fun to be around

- Then he let a white man get in his feelings and refused to talk about them and lashed out on you

- So he just kinda got these feelings and nothing to do with them

- Didn’t think he’d ever see you again to be honest so now stuff that he buried ages ago is in his face

- Can’t tell you sorry. Doesn’t know how.

- Sees you smiling and doting on rin how you used to him and can’t help but get jealous

- Makes sure to approach you when rin isn’t around

- You go to the kitchen to get water boom he’s there too now

- “Jesus Christ do you ever announce yourself?”

- “You’re in MY house”

- “Is it your house if you only show up one a year?”

- Can’t help but start arguments when he just wants to talk regularly

- Rin already picking up what his brother is trying to lay down and he’s not having it

- He’s already developed a crush on you like you CANT leave

- Gets nervous bc if your past with sae that he might snatch you up too

- Not letting his brother take something else away from him

- So all of a sudden he’s a lot more touchy with you

- Trust me inside he’s screaming and throwing up bc he’s never done this before but he will try

- You can feel his stiff ass hand around your waist😭

- Poor baby

- The silent itoshi beef isn’t missed by you but you don’t know that they’re competing off the pitch too

- “You sure you don’t want to go do something? Like we watched horror movies in your room all day yesterday, I had errands to run-“

- “Well I wanted to start the final destination franchise so you gotta watch all 5 of them there’s a new one coming out”

- “Yeah in 2025! That’s like 3 years away!”

- “Shhhh, the movie starting🙄”

- Hoards you all to himself in his room because you’re surrounded by HIM and less chances for Sae to sneak up on you in public and steal you away or join your date outing together

- Thinks you look cute wrapped in his blankets and tries not to blush when you cling to him

- “I swear to god-“

- “My bad forgot there’s a jumpscare here I’ll warn you about the next one promise.”

- He won’t

- Sae rolling his eyes to the back of his head bc you just always in the house now and Rin hanging off you like a sad puppy

- Sae is more strategic where rin is impulsive

- So he’s the type to do shit from the past that he knew would make your heart flutter and run will be blunt and impulsive with his actions

- Sae will touch your lower back as he comes up behind you to grab a class from the cub board and hand it to you

- Sae will bring you home your favorite snack when he knows rin wont see him give it to you

- Rin will grab your hand in public and not let go to make sure you don’t get lost on a crowd

- Rin will clumsily press his lips to your forehead when you are most distracted

- Both are very annoying

- And after a good WEEK of getting mixed signals from both of them you’re ready to stay your ass at home for the rest of the vacation before it’s back to work

- Monday morning Rin invites you on a morning run

- Which you obviously say fuck NO to bc the sun ain’t even up

- But he shows up to your front door at the asscrack of dawn telling you to get dressed you have no say in the matter unfortunately

- The jog isn’t so bad and he has the decency to buy you breakfast afterwards so that’s nice

- Decent conversation surprisingly

- When he drops you off back at your home he kisses you before literally sprinting off

- He was working up the nerve to do that all morning

- Can’t even say thanks or whatever yet before he presses his body close to you and lifts your head to slot his lips against yours

- Puts all his feelings into that kiss before managing to get out “bye” before his throat completely closes up

- And then sprints off before you can even blink

- Clown

- Giggling and kicking his feet when he gets home

- Sae is packing for his trip back to Spain at the end of the week

- When he catches you leaving his house after another Rin spontaneous all day movie marathon

- Offers to drive you home because it’s dark and he remembers the address

- Didn’t really offer so much as grab his Keys complaining about how you know better than to be outside this late

- Sir 🫤🫤

- The ride is kinda tense until he forces a conversation

- Unsurprisingly e vividly remembers all the right buttons to press to see that smile he’s been dying to see

- Don’t even notice he took the long way back to your home

- Puts his new number in your phone and tells you to stop being stubborn and answer when he texts you

- He’s a gentleman before all else so he walks you right to your front door

- Man barely hears a word you said before pulling you closer by your neck pressing his lips to yours

- Remembers you like the back of his hand the way his lips fit so familiar with yours

- Ends up with your arms around his neck and your back pressed into the front door

- Clearly wanting to come inside he pulls away because he’s fond of the chase🙄😒

- Wishes you a good night before kissing your forehead and going back to his car

- both of them have laid their cards out on the table

- Just up to you to make a choice I’m afraid

[joels-darlin]

Shattered

Pairings: post-outbreak!Joel Miller x shy/anxious!f!reader

Warnings: angst but I guess fluffy ending, illusions to domestic violence (previous relationship cos Joel is only ever a sweetheart), lots of crying, guilt, hurt, comfort, angry Joel, I guess slight abandonment (I think that's it but pls let me know if I missed any)

Summary: During a silly argument Joel shows a different side of himself.

Word count: 785

Author Note: Oh what is this I'm finally dipping into writing for Pedro characters. Just a short piece that I had filed away and felt it fit the universe of Joel Miller. I guess enjoy, any feedback is appreciated :D Special thanks to @ladybess-a03 for all your help <3 AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well what the fuck do you want me to do about it?” he shouted banging his fist on the nearest surface; you stayed silent. It was early evening, and Joel was late coming back from patrol, leaving him in a grumpy old man mood. So you currently stood opposite sides of the kitchen in the midst of an argument over something stupid.

“I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“Jesus Christ…why won’t you ever argue back, you just stay quiet…I never know what you are thinking I’m not a damn mind reader!”. Joel was getting angrier now, the veins bulging out the side of his now flushed neck. You stood still unsure of what to say, not wanting to argue back as you weren’t that type of person - always the quiet one in the relationship. Given your abusive past he should understand that. You looked up at him, he had his back to you.

“I-I can’t do this” you said quietly.

“Well how do you think I feel? Sometimes I wish I could just fuck off and leave you to it” he roared. Your heart sank at his comment - this man was your everything. Next thing Joel lashed out. Picking up the chipped coffee mug that lay on the counter before flinging it across the side of the room. It flew past the side of your head, just a few inches away, smashing into pieces against the wall. Silence blanketed the room. And then, it started; erratic breathing, sweating, flashbacks of the past swirling around your head. Dropping to the floor head in your hands the tears started to flow heavily. You didn’t think Joel was capable of anything like this. He knew he had screwed up the moment the cup left his hand. Watching intensely as you slipped down to the floor, landing in a heap. Why did he do it, he knew about you.

“Shit…” he cursed and after grabbing his coat off the chair, sprinted out of the room. The last sound you heard was the front door slamming, then your sobs starting to echo off the walls of the empty house.

The tears had eventually ran dry. Still laying on the cold hard floor where Joel had left you a mere hour ago, body aching from head to toe. Eventually mustering up the courage to move then you crawled over to the cupboard taking out the brush to clean up the smashed ceramic, making sure to dispose of it all. The shards evidently becoming one big blur on the floor from the fresh tears that where threatening to fall. Once it was all disposed of you settled against the wall again head in hands.

In an attempt to distract from the aching feeling in your chest you eventually moved from the floor to the couch, curled up in a ratty blanket. The front room was shrouded in complete darkness but you chose to absentmindedly flick through one of Joel’s books off the shelf; not really paying attention. “Where could he be” your mind wandered off for a moment, he had been gone a few hours now with no ideas of his whereabouts.

In between reading and mulling over thoughts you dozed off. Only to be woken by the sound of the front door opening, he was home. Joel called your name distress and pain evident in his voice.

“In here” you half-shouted in response. The sound of footsteps entering the room alerted you of his presence. He knelt down next to you.

“Darlin’…I’m so sorry…” he pleaded, the southern twang heavy in his voice “...I lost my temper” you looked up, his eyes rimmed with redness telling you he had been crying - a sight you had never seen before. “Please...sweetheart…forgive me” he choked.

You twiddled with your thumbs under the blanket and nodded. He reached out placing a hand on your leg. Making you flinch at his touch and pull back abruptly.

“Oh darlin’-” his voice strained realising the weight of his actions. “I won't hurt you I promise” he begged “…please just let me hold you” it was silent for a moment as you gather your thoughts. Nodding gently at him, Joel peeled the blanket back, you shifting over to make space for him on the tiny couch. When he was settled he wrapped his arms around you tightly and placing your head on his chest.

“I love you…” he mumbled against your hair “...I’m sorry darlin’, I’ll never ever do that again, promise”. You hugged him in response, not wanting to say anything just yet. Settling down into the warmth of his chest your eyes started to droop, succumbing to sleep, hoping tomorrow would be a better day.

[joshsindigostreak]

I See Hell in Your Eyes

Chapter Six

“Daddy’s little psycho and Mommy’s little soldier.”

Josh Kiszka x Vampire!Reader

Authors Note: I am SO FUCKING SORRY for dragging this out as long as I have. Life has been crazy and work has been nonstop. However, I do hope y'all like this latest chapter, or as I like to call it, the smut before the storm.

Word Count: 8445

Warnings: SMUT, COMPLETELY NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI, oral m!receiving, thigh riding, unprotected penetrative sex (she's a vampire but wrap it up IRL y'all), swearing, allusions to violence, creepy flashbacks, blood mentions.

Jake was a light sleeper, and his mother would often tell people she could never put him down without him waking up as soon as her hands left his swaddled form, the only solution was to put him directly next to his twin, who slept like a log most of the time. Even as they got older if they sat next to each other too long on the couch they’d be out cold within a few minutes. And in any other scenario, just being in the same apartment as Josh would’ve had him out like a light, but still sleep evaded him. He knew he needed to get some form of shut-eye, but every creak or noise in the room had his eyes flying open, ready to jump up in case that…creature tried anything stupid. 

That was the other thing that had his mind racing, the fact that a Vampire was sleeping soundly next to his brother of all people, and the fact that he saw with his own eyes that same brother cuddle up and spoon the fucking thing. The conversation the twins shared outside ran through his mind…

Jake stomped down the stairs of Josh’s building, not ready to even talk to him, yet having a million things to say at the same time. His mind was reeling over what he had just witnessed, and no amount of rationalization could wrap his head around it. 

“Jake just listen-,” Josh started as they exited the front door of the building and down the steps.

“If this is where you give me the ‘she’s different’ speech, I don’t want to hear it.” 

Josh rolled his eyes, “well she is.” 

Jake spun around to face him, “I just can’t believe you’re the one who got soft over one of them. After all we’ve been through? What we’ve seen? They threatened to kidnap Sammy and turn him when he was four, Josh.” 

Josh crossed his arms and squared his shoulders, “I know that.” 

“And yet here you are, holding hands with one, letting her walk around in your, no my, clothes. This job was supposed to be so simple, that’s why Dad let you go alone for it. All you had to do was come here, figure out which Vampire was being reckless, exterminate it, and come back home. That was it. But instead you get this little apartment, take absolutely way too long on what should’ve been a week-long job tops, and now you’re sleeping with quite literally the fucking enemy and you want me to be more understanding? The last time we spoke she was your lead suspect! I just-,” as Jake argued, he stared at his brother long enough to notice some blood on Josh’s neck. It wasn’t a lot, but it was dry and flaked on his skin, letting him know it had been there for awhile. 

Exhaling sharply through his nose he said in a low tone, “is that blood hers…or yours…” Josh sighed and closed his eyes for a second, which answered Jake's question for him, “Jesus Christ…she fed on you? What the fuck, man?” 

“It’s not what you think.” 

Jake’s eyes went wide and he hung his head forward in disbelief, “the fuck do you mean ‘its not what you think’?! Who even are you anymore?” 

“Listen, it wasn’t a planned thing. And for your information, she’s no longer my lead anymore.”

Jake mockingly breathed a sigh of relief, “oh well that’s good, I’m so glad you’re cracking the case with your-” 

Josh couldn’t take it anymore, and backed Jake across the sidewalk and against the door of his car, “do I have to bring up Cecilia again to point out how hypocritical you’re being right now? 

Jake stared at Josh, and watched his nostrils flare as he huffed in his face. If someone had told him weeks ago that he’d be having this conversation with him, he’d tell them they need to lay off the drugs and to get the fuck out of his face. “I just…I don’t get it,” he said softly. 

Josh adjusted his grip on his shoulders, “it’s not your job to ‘get it’.”

Jake relaxed against the car, not wanting to fight anymore, “but I always get it…with you? We always understand each other, but this…I don’t understand this at all.” 

Josh’s eyes softened at his twin, letting his words wash over him. He was right, that they never questioned each other over anything because they just understood each other automatically. Their parents always wrote it off as being a ‘twin thing’ and would tell them it was a strength of theirs that other people didn’t have. On the outside it was an asset, but to them personally it was just something automatic like breathing. 

“You’re just going to have to trust me. And maybe…maybe try to get to know her at least.”

Jake tilted his head, “you want me to get to know her?”

Josh rolled his eyes again, “or at least stop being a fucking dick. I know you don’t want to hear this, but she is different, Jake. I know it's hard, and it took me a lot longer than you think it did to see it, but she is.”

Jake relented, “if she tries anything…or even looks at you funny, I will not hesitate to put her down, and you’re just going to have to get over that.”

Jake’s arm around CiCi tightened as he blinked and pushed the memory away, not wanting to get pissed all over again. His eyelids were finally growing heavy, and he used what was left of his energy to relax enough so that sleep could creep up on him and take over.

~!~

Hours later, when the sun had stepped aside for the moon, you were growing restless in Josh’s arms. Memories were bleeding into your dreams, letting their foul existence contaminate your slumber. 

You found yourself back in the house you grew up in, sitting next to the Vampire who would become your Maker. On the floor before you, were the bodies of the rest of the occupants of the house. Various servants and the Lady of the house, bleeding out onto the floor. He had saved you for last. Ever since he had entered the door that night he had his eye on you. 

His teeth were buried in your wrist, lapping and slurping up your blood like a starved animal. It was messy, dripping over his hands and onto the expensive couch you sat upon. The pain had you wincing hard, but you dared not make a sound, terrified of what he would do if you did. 

He moaned against your wrist before popping off and staring at you with a mouth full of blood, “You won’t understand this…but your blood tastes like cherries…”

The way he looked at you and talked to you had your stomach in knots, “how,” you squeaked out.

“It's so difficult to describe to humans…but your blood is so sweet, little one. Sweet like cherries…ma chérie…,” he chuckled at his pun, before drawing a bloody finger to your cheek and staining your skin, “ma chérie…ma chérie…ma chér-”

You woke up with a jolt, panicking when you couldn’t immediately sit up due to the arms wrapped around your middle. Blindly you fought to pry the arm away from you, not awake enough to realize just who you were in bed with and where you were. 

Your frantic movements and gasps woke Josh up instantly, and he sat up enough to look at you fully, “Hey…hey it's alright, what's wrong?” 

His voice broke through the fog in your head, and you looked around to get your bearings. You were with Josh, in his little apartment, and it was night time finally. You were with Josh. You were safe. A warm hand reached up to cup your face, turning you towards him. The tears in your eyes that were threatening to fall made his brows knit together in worry. One slowly rolled down your face, his thumb catching it and rubbing it away. 

You sniffed, trying to compose yourself. It was just a stupid dream; your subconscious taking you back to that time after you had talked about it earlier. Nothing more, nothing-

“Bad dream?”

You looked away, for once unable to meet those brown eyes. He continued to hold your face, not letting you physically turn away from him. 

“It's nothing…”

“It’s not nothing if you’re this upset by it.”

“We all have bad dreams, Boy Scout,” you recalled the nightmare he had the other night, and how he also didn’t want to talk about what he saw. 

He understood what you were implying, and nodded, “I get that, but-”

Across the apartment, Jake had also woken up because of your outburst, and he carefully sat up on the air mattress to look at the commotion. He silently watched his brother comfort you, and the way you melted back into his arms had him rolling his eyes. The way Josh spoke to you was a way Jake wasn’t used to hearing. He kept trying to convince himself that this was all part of some 4D chess move of yours, but the fact that Josh was literally unable to be Persuaded by you only added to Jake’s confusion. 

Josh had gotten you to settle back down into bed, laying on your sides and facing each other. His hand was still holding your cheek, keeping you close. The tears had dried, and you had calmed down a little, no longer worried you were still in that house with your Maker. 

Your fingers were wrapped around the wrist of the hand on your face, “safe to say the sun is down…,” you whispered. 

“I guess so…”

Neither one of you wanted to leave the little bubble you had created, but you needed to go home, back to your own place. With a resigned sigh you say, “I should probably get going…

Josh shook his head, “you don’t have to.”

“Your brother would beg to differ,” Josh scoffed softly at the reminder, “plus I miss my own shower.” 

“At least let me drive you home,” he offered.

“You don’t have-,” a thumb slid across your jaw and landed on your lips, silencing you.

“No, I think I do,” he said simply. 

Back on the air mattress, Jake had had enough ‘rest’ and rather obnoxiously got up making as much noise as he could. His Witch rolled over to look at him, throwing him an exasperated look, harshly whispering his name. Jake paid her no mind as he loudly rifled through his bag, appearing to ‘organize’ his belongings, and set a few things on the coffee table. The light clatter of stakes landing on the surface sent an obvious message. 

Josh sat up to see what his twin was doing, and immediately rolled his eyes at the little display Jake was making. He looked over at you, giving you a sympathetic look before slipping out of bed and walking towards Jake.

“What are you doing?”

Jake looked up at Josh and raised his eyebrows, “making myself at home?”

“Well, while you’re doing that, I’m going to take her home,” he said pointing his head towards you over his shoulder. 

At this, Jake shot up to his full height and stepped closer to Josh, “you’re not seriously letting her take you back to her lair are you?”

You came up behind Josh with your things in your hands and nearly burst out laughing at Jake’s word choice, “my lair? Oh god I haven’t heard that one in nearly two decades. Jesus Christ, its a condo, Kiszka. I pay way too much for the HOA and everything.” 

Josh eyed you curiously, “really?”

You sighed, “honestly I need to move but it's such a hassle and it was the only decent place available when I came back.”

He nodded in agreement, “that makes sense-”

Jake rubbed his face with his hand before interrupting, “ENOUGH, you’re not going with her.” 

Your hunter slowly turned his head towards his twin, expression hardening and brows knitting together, “and who are you to make that decision?” The younger twin looked like he had been slapped while trying to form a rebuttal, but Josh seized on his silence, “that's what I thought.” With that, he turned to grab his keys from the spot on the floor they had landed the previous night. 

“What are we supposed to do, in the meantime,” Jake complained. CiCi was standing now, and reached out to touch Jake's arm. 

Josh huffed, “I don’t know…maybe take your girlfriend out on a date or something? She deserves it for putting up with you.” He shifted past Jake, stepping into the same shoes he had on outside, and turning around to check on you. While he and Jake bickered you had slipped on your heels from the night before, and the combination of your heels and his clothes (screw whatever Jake said, it hadn’t been his shirt in years) made his heart stutter for multiple reasons. 

As you maneuvered around Jake, you looked over at CiCi and gave a small smile, “it was nice meeting you,” 

CiCi nodded, “nice meeting you too.” 

Rather pointedly, you ignored Jake and exited through the door as Josh held it open for you. 

“Don’t wait up,” was all Josh said before he firmly shut the door behind him and followed you down the stairs. 

Thankfully, none of Josh’s neighbors were out of their respective apartments and the journey down to the ground floor was uneventful. You followed him down to the sidewalk where he turned to the right and went down a few cars before stopping at a white Jeep, hitting the keyfob along the way to unlock it. It definitely screamed something that Josh would drive. Without a word he opened the door for you, and held out his hand for you to take to help you get in, a gesture that made you smile. As you settled in your seat Josh shut the door and nearly sprinted around the back to get to the drivers side. 

It didn’t hit you until after he had silently handed you his phone to put in your address and he secured it to his dash mount how…normal it felt. This inner voice of your brain wanted to complain about how cliche it all was, but you tried not to listen to it. 

It took four blocks for Josh’s hand to slowly migrate from the gear shift to the top of your thigh. The warmth of his hand nearly startled you, and you looked down at the source and the feeling of normalcy struck you again. The silence that filled the Jeep wasn’t awkward or stilted. It was…comfortable. You hadn’t felt this in a long time. Well, you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel this in a long time. There were close calls, trysts from decades ago that still felt fresh at times, all ending in the same tired ways. 

Josh’s thumb was absently rubbing circles into your skin when he spoke, “I have a question…” 

You were snapped out of your thoughts, “yeah?”

“Garlic doesn’t hurt your kin-, you, does it?”

A giggle threatened to escape your mouth as you formed your answer, “no…garlic doesn’t do anything to us. Didn’t they teach you that at ‘Vampire-Hunter-Boy-Scout-Camp?’” 

His hand flexed slightly against your thigh, and he rolled his eyes slightly, “I mean…my parents taught me things but the garlic thing was never mentioned specifically either way…”

You sensed an opportunity and turned towards him slightly as his Jeep rolled to a stop at a redlight, “lets play a game.” 

He eyed you with a deadpan expression, “a game?”

“True or false,” your mouth twisting into its typical grin. 

He sighed as the light turned green and he pressed the gas pedal, “and what am I supposed to be asking about?” 

“You tell me whatever idiotic Vampire rumor you were taught, and I’ll tell you if it's true or false!”

Another sigh left his mouth, and he flipped through the different bits of Vampire information he had stored in his brain, “ok…you can eat human food?”

“True and false.” 

He looked at you slightly exasperated, “what do you mean?” 

“I mean…we could technically eat it…but it has no nutritional value and doesn’t taste like anything to us. It's like chewing on the color gray. When I was freshly turned I tried eating a muffin and nearly spit it out on the floor.”

“Do you miss human food?” 

“False. I mean…the era of when I was turned wasn’t exactly the height of cuisine…but sometimes I miss how good fresh bread smelled…or pies on the window sill. But honestly blood is so much better. There’s just something about it that human food doesn’t have.”

Josh tried to wrap his head around that, but couldn’t, “so you’ve never eaten pizza?”

“...True…it looks like it would be good from a human's point of view but I’m ok with an AB Positive,” you quietly braced yourself, hoping he wouldn’t be grossed out by your preferences.

But the disgust never came, instead Josh asked another question, “Vampires can’t be born…can they?”

You stared at him for a second, “true…no more babies once you’re turned.” The way your voice went soft at your answer was completely unintentional. Kids weren’t something you thought about, or dreamed about. They were a fleeting thought when you were a girl, but kids brought back memories you didn’t want to relive. You didn’t hate them, it wasn’t their fault, but you just hated being reminded of certain events…or certain people. 

Josh’s brows were furrowed as he formed his next question, but your game was interrupted by his phone’s GPS announcing, “you have arrived at your destination.”

You looked up and saw your familiar building, a 10-story high-rise that had fallen victim to the house-flipper crowd. What was once a charming and cozy building now reeked of ‘seller-friendly curb appeal.’

Josh stared up at the structure as he parked the Jeep and you answered his thoughts for him, “don’t worry Boy Scout, we have elevators here.” He turned to give you a look, another question floating through his brain, “yes you can come up…it's only fair I show you my place…” 

He smiled as you flung off your seatbelt and hopped out of the vehicle, practically bouncing in your heels on the pavement. As he joined you on the sidewalk, you slid your hand into his and led him into the front entrance of your building.

“I wish you could’ve seen the building when it was new. It had the sweetest door man and everything,” you mused as the two of you walked into the lobby of your building. The current decor was “nice” if you considered 2011 the peak of interior design. You often considered Persuading the building manager into getting the building restored to its original glory, but you figured you wouldn’t be here long enough to get too involved. 

Bee-lining for the elevator, your hand still gripped his as you hit the button with your free hand to call it down. Within seconds the elevator dinged and slid open its doors, and you thanked whatever beings were out there that it was empty. You hadn’t brought anyone ‘home’ in quite some time and it would be a lie to say you weren’t practically giddy at the idea of bringing Josh up to see it. Once inside you reached for the panel to select ‘8’ for your floor. 

Turning to your hunter you said, “not a penthouse like yours,” and playfully bumped his shoulder. 

Josh however couldn’t take it anymore and took full advantage of the solitude and took your face into his and slowly backed you up against the wall before slamming his lips onto yours. You melted into the kiss, glad to be even closer to him again. As his tongue gained entrance into your mouth,you felt one of his hands reach down to grip your thigh and hook it over his hip, allowing him to grind into you. The clothes from the night before that you clutched in your one hand threatened to fall as you wrapped your arms around him. Josh’s teeth sunk into your bottom lip, and the gap between the front two captured the smallest sliver of skin. You moaned against his mouth, and he broke away with a sigh before tilting his head and nipping at your jawbone and leaving open mouthed kisses down your neck. 

You started to lift your other leg to secure it around Josh’s waist when the elevator dinged and came to a stop. Paying it no mind, you rolled your head to the side to give Josh better access to your neck. It wasn’t until you heard someone clear their throat rather loudly did you open your eyes to find one of your neighbors standing at the open elevator. It was that unbearable woman down the hall, who had a habit of watching everyone on her floor. Josh looked up as well and slowly dropped your leg from around his hip, but he stayed just as close to you. 

“Hi, Nancy…,” you said with an eye roll before taking Josh’s hand and leading him out of the elevator. Josh and Nancy briefly made eye contact as he walked past her and she looked down her nose at him as her upper lip scrunched up as if she was smelling something bad. “Don’t mind her, she’s just a snotty bitch,” you called out behind you as the elevator doors shut. 

Josh whipped his head towards you and said in a deadpan voice, “she seemed nice. Is she always like that?”

“Sometimes she’s worse, unfortunately,” you laughed as he matched your stride. Flashing a smile at him you rounded the corner and went straight for the door at the end of the hall. You stopped to fish your keys out of your tiny clutch from the night before and unlocked your door with ease. Before you twisted the handle to reveal your home, you looked at Josh over your shoulder, intentionally drawing out the moment a little longer for dramatic effect. Finally, you slowly opened the door to your place, giving Josh the nod that he could follow you inside. 

Josh followed you over the threshold, making sure to shut the door behind him before looking around at the apartment. Immediately to his left was a small side table, where you dropped your keys in a glass dish. 

You continued down the small hallway, your heels clicking against the dark hardwood floors before turning around and throwing your hands out and saying, “home sweet home.” 

The small hallway opened up into two different rooms on either side, the one on the right being what appeared to be your living room, complete with an expensive-looking couch and dark blue Tiffany lamps on both end tables on either side. A lone, empty wine glass sat under one of the lamps. What in any other situation would have been some dark red wine dried at the bottom of the glass, he figured it was probably blood. Josh quickly noted the magazines you had strewn on the antique coffee table in front of the couch, along with a few unlit candles. You had a definite stack of different issues, a few National Geographics, some Vogues, a random Cosmo, and what he thought were a couple of Architectural Digests sitting off to the side, with pages clearly dog-earred for later. 

“Sorry about the mess…wasn’t exactly planning on having company over,” you apologized with a smirk. Josh almost called you crazy for thinking your apartment was messy, because it most certainly wasn’t. It looked…lived in…but it wasn’t messy. He had seen his fair share of Nests, and most of them were so bare-bones given the migratory nature of Vampires. As a species they didn’t tend to stick around one place too long. Even the solitary Vamps he had dealt with didn’t have ideal lodging situations. But it was clear you didn’t want to have just a crash pad between feedings…you wanted a cozy place to come home to. 

Opposite the living room was the kitchen. The lighting was very dim as you didn’t bother turning on any lights in that room. The normal appliances sat in there, but looked clean and unused. Josh recalled your earlier conversation on Vampires and human food. You probably didn’t have much use for it at all in the grand scheme of things. Beyond these two rooms were two more doors on either side of the central hallway, and a singular door at the very end. Even without seeing what was behind all three doors, Josh knew your apartment dwarfed his little attic studio significantly. 

You pushed open the door on the left, dramatically gesturing with a smile, “door number one is the guest bathroom…” Crossing the hallway you opened the opposite door, “and door number two is supposed to be a guest room but…I turned it into a library of sorts.” 

Josh stopped in his tracks and peaked his head into the room. You had bookcases lining the walls, full of tomes of various sizes and bindings. A lot of them were antiques in the current year, but he wondered if you had collected most of them when they were new, and had just held onto them all these years. Trinkets dotted all along the shelves in front of the books, and he wondered what the story was behind all of them. The fact that you were 350 this year struck him again, and he got even more curious about your life before now. He noticed a big squishy chair situated by the one window in the room, with another Tiffany floor lamp, this time dark green, behind it. The image of you curled up in that chair, reading whatever you desired made the corners of his mouth rise up into a smile. 

He turned to look at you, and saw you leaning against the doorframe reaching down to take your heels off. Wasting no time, he knelt in front of you and in a slightly clumsy yet endearing way, took your heeled foot out of your hands and slid your shoe off for you. Your hands rested on his shoulders during this to keep your balance, and you gently raised your other foot for him to repeat the process. Josh set both of your shoes behind him, and slowly looked up at you from his kneeling position. He wasn’t sure where the compulsion to never let you take off your own shoes came from, but it felt natural to him. 

You looked down at his big brown eyes, feeling an unfamiliar warmth in your chest at his actions, which were quickly becoming a habit of his. Your hand reached out and cupped his cheek, and he fully leaned into it, nearly nuzzling your palm. He rose up from his feet to his full height and pressed you against the door frame, lightly brushing his lips on yours. 

“I haven’t even shown you the best room…,” you murmured, “come on.” You took his hand again and pulled him down to the end of the hallway where the final door was. This time you pushed open the door with little fanfare and you breathed a sigh of relief as you walked into your room.

Josh didn’t need to be told what room this was, the light purple walls clued him in immediately. In fact, most of the room was decked out in various shades of purple. From the doorway he could see directly out to a pair of French doors that led out to a small balcony, and through the gauzy curtains he could make out a table and a set of chairs outside. The most interesting feature was to the right of the room, where what looked like a giant arched opening in the wall was carved out to house a queen sized bed inside. The bedding was dark purple, and the duvet was pulled back enough that he noticed you had purple satin sheets to match. Thick curtains were fixed on the backside of the arch, only pulled about a quarter of the way across. 

You turned around and saw him staring and remarked, “not exactly a coffin…but with the curtains drawn it's pretty close.” 

“I wasn’t…that's not what-,” he stammered while his cheeks tinged pink.

You walked over to the bed after dropping your clothes in a small hamper and flicked on the two wall sconces that were attached to the wall inside the nook, illuminating the small space so that Josh could get a better look. There were a couple shelves above where your head would be, more trinkets and a few crystals lined the surface. But it was at the foot of the bed, hidden slightly behind the curtains, was the shirt he had given her the day before. You didn’t pay it any mind as your hand landed on the curtains and said, “blackout curtains. Not a shred of light can get through these.” 

Josh smiled and turned to the other half of the room, where he saw a desk littered with various makeup supplies, a couple books, and a journal with a pen resting on top. Also on that wall were two other doors, he assumed one was an ensuite and the other a closet. He took a few steps around the room, taking it all in while you observed him from your bed.

“You have a beautiful place,” he said softly. 

“It works for now,” you shrugged.

He nodded, understanding. His current place wasn’t ideal either, in all actuality it was a far cry from what he grew up with, but it was home for now. Inching his way over to your table, he looked down at the journal resting on the surface. He turned back at you, a cheeky smile slowly forming on his face, “you have a diary…a Vampire…diary…”

You fought every muscle in your face to not smile, you didn’t want to encourage him, but you faced and exhaled a little laugh, “yes…full of all of my Vampire secrets and night-to-night drama.”

He arched an eyebrow at you, “anything about…?”

You swayed your hips as you walked towards him, “about a very annoying hunter who wouldn’t mind his own business and tried to capture me with silver handcuffs?” Your arms looped around his neck and his hands settled on your hips, squeezing slightly.

 

His eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at you, “...was this annoying hunter handsome at least?”

You playfully rolled your eyes, “for a hunter he was alright…” 

Josh feigned offense, “just alright?” 

“Yes, for a wannabe Boy Scout he was decent,” you leaned forward and nipped at his chin. What he didn’t know was that you talked at length about him in your diary. He didn’t know your thought process flowed from how he annoyed you that first night, how irritating he was, how arrogant, how smart ass, to your reluctant alliance and the first night at the Den, to how worried you were when Dimitri almost went too far, to how maybe “Boy Scout” wasn’t that bad, to where you left off just as you were getting ready for your second night at the Den, before everything changed. He didn’t know about how you spent a few pages describing the worry that was etched on his face the whole time he got you back to his apartment that morning, how his eyes would not leave your disfigured feet, or how you almost passed out from the pain as he ran those final blocks to his building, or how it was his own racing heart that you focused on to stay conscious. Maybe you’d tell him eventually, but right now you just wanted to focus on the present. How you had a beautiful man in your room all to yourself, with zero chances of being interrupted by ignorant twin brothers. 

He pulled you close and secured his lips to yours, and for the first time you two shared a truly slow and lazy kiss, in no rush to do anything or be anywhere else. 

Pulling away slightly, you sighed against his lips, “I don’t want to cut this short…but I really need to shower…” A slight pout started to form on Josh’s face, “but thankfully…I have a real shower and there’s plenty of room for two people…” 

“Lead the way, sweetheart…”

You flashed a grin before skirting around him and bounded for the door behind him on the right. The bathroom was easily eight times the size of his dinky bathroom in the attic, with a gorgeous clawfoot tub at the far end of the room, and a standing shower in the corner next to it. You flung open the glass door to your shower, turning on the water and letting the warm spray and steam fill the room. You felt Josh follow behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, playfully lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. Laughter echoed in the room until it was silenced by his lips crashing into yours. The few pieces of clothing you both had on were shed in a blur, and the next thing you knew you were being backed into the shower, the lips of your hunter attached to yours. The cold tile caught you off guard and you hissed against his mouth at the temperature difference. 

Josh’s hands were everywhere, roaming your body as if he was afraid you’d disappear. Your hands were tangled in his hair, reveling in the fact you had him all to yourself. The way his hands were squeezing and grabbing anything he could reach on you felt incredible, and the evidence that he was feeling just as good was pressed up against your stomach. You felt it twitch as you scraped his scalp with your fingernails and lightly tugged on his hair. 

Smiling against his mouth you pushed him back to the other wall, and looked him in the eyes as you dropped to your knees.  His eyes were so dark, pupils blown as he looked down at you. The hot water sprayed against your back, wetting most of your hair as it spread out over your shoulders. He reached down and tucked some of your hair behind your ear and out of your face. Gently you took his cock in your hand, and he rolled his head back against the wall at your touch. You pumped him a couple times before looking up at his frazzled state and smiling. You were able to see him so much better here in the shower than in his dimly lit apartment, so you got to see details you missed the night before. The way his jaw was slack as you squeezed him, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed rapidly as you quickened your pace, and the soft sounds he was beginning to make because of you. Leaning forward you gave the tip of his cock a playful kiss, before fully taking the tip into your mouth. 

“Ah, fuck…,” escaped his lips and met your ears as you did so, his shoulders visibly relaxing as you moved further down on him. He was practically mewling as your tongue made patterns around and on the underside of his cock, cheeks hollowing out you pulled back giving him the perfect amount of pressure before diving back down. Your hands were settled on his thighs at this point, squeezing his tensing muscles and digging your fingernails into his skin for extra sensation. Josh’s hands had a firm grip on your hair, as if he was holding on for dear life. He tried to keep his head clear so he didn’t embarrass himself with how quickly his high was approaching him, but you were making that difficult as you reached up to cup his balls and roll them softly in your hand. He wanted this to last, and that wasn’t going to happen with the rate you were going and how fast your head was bobbing up and down on him. Gently but firmly he tried to pull you off of him, to get you back on your feet so he could give you some attention but you weren’t having it. Without missing a beat you reached up to take his hands from your hair and planted his hands on the shower wall. Your Vampire strength came in handy as he pushed against you, but he relented as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, mouth full of his cock. Your name echoed in the air as you went back to work on him, along with a string of more curses. He was close, and you practically smiled around him when you could tell he was feeling good from what you were doing to him. You relaxed your throat and went all the way down, letting the tip reach down into your throat while the curls at the base of his cock were simultaneously pressing against your nose. At this point he was thrusting into your mouth on his own, trying to keep up with the rhythm you had set. 

“Shit-, fuck, oh go-,” he sputtered out, opening his eyes to look down at you once more, not wanting to miss a second of this. You looked up at him one last time and his high hit him like a train, with a sound that started out like a loud groan but fizzled out into a high pitched whine filled the shower.. He spilled down your throat, and you gladly swallowed everything he gave you. As the last few drops hit your tongue, you slowly pulled off of him with a pop. The sensitivity was already setting in for him, but you couldn’t help yourself but to give the tip a firm kiss as he softened which caused his hips to jerk and soft squeak to leave his throat. 

Letting go of his hands against the wall you let him help you stand. Before you could get your bearings you found yourself pressed against the shower wall, Josh’s chest heaving against yours as he gave you one of the most possessive and passionate kisses you shared so far. Your mouth instantly fell open granting him access and he wasted no time slipping his tongue into your mouth. He didn’t care if he could taste himself on your tongue, in fact knowing it was him spurred him on even more. Your hands found their home in his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls while your thumbs stroked the shaved sides of his head. The steam was filling up the shower and fogging up the glass. As you made out and moaned into each other's mouths, his hands kneaded the outside of your thighs. His right foot slipped between your feet and he nudged his thigh between your legs. Even with the heat from the shower, you could feel the warmth of the sigil radiating from his skin. 

You let out a gasp when his fingers crept around the back of your thighs and he pulled you up higher on his thigh, planting your core directly on top of the sigil. The combination of his searing kisses and the pressure from his thigh between yours had you biting down on his bottom lip, whimpering. Even with his lip trapped between your teeth you could feel his muscles spread into a smug smile. You began rocking back and forth against his thigh, while his hands helped guide your movements. He peppered kisses all along your face and your neck, working his way down before bending his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth, causing you to nearly hit your head on the wall as you cried out. 

You sped up your movements as his tongue swirled around the sensitive skin, you were so wet you easily slid back and forth on his thigh. With a pop he let go of your nipple, and he moved to the other to give it the same treatment. In the midst of this, you felt his thumb reach over and just barely graze your clit. He held it there, just barely out of reach, causing you to jerk forward even harder to get any pressure from it. 

You were almost starting to get frustrated when you felt him chuckle slightly, and he let go of you to move up and whisper in your ear, “what is it? Need something?” 

The cocky tone in his voice caused you to shoot your eyes open, glaring at him, “you little shit…”

He kissed the hinge of your jaw and grazed his tongue along the shell of your ear, “you and I both know that is the wrong adjective to use, sweetheart.”

Before you could protest or make a sarcastic reply his thumb surged forward and gave you the pressure you needed, expertly rolling figure-8’s around you. Your movements faltered from the sudden burst of pleasure, and you could feel the coil within you begin to tighten. Your arms loosely looped around his neck for balance, and Josh leaned his forehead against yours. His free hand was gripping your ass so tightly as you moved that if you had been human there would’ve been bruises in his wake. 

He asked softly, “is that what you needed? Hmm?” 

All you could do at this point was nod with your high barreling towards you. There was no sense of rhythm now, just sloppy movements and gasps for breath. His thumb moved even faster against you, wanting you to come just as much as you did. He looked down to watch you move, slack jawed at how desperate you were to reach your high; how desperate you were for him. 

“Let go for me, baby…,” was all he whispered before you were shuddering against him. Your fingernails dug into his shoulders as you rode out your high. He kept up his movements even when it became too sensitive, giving you a little payback from earlier before retreating his hand and letting it rest on your hip. 

You began to catch your breath, and you started to disengage from your hunter, figuring the human was spent after your little escapade. You were wrong, so wrong. He sensed you trying to move away and confidently slid his hand up to your jaw, turning your head from the side to face him.

“Do you really think I’m done with you?” 

“I-”

He surged forward, pressing his hard cock against your stomach, showing you he was far from ready for this to be over. 

You smirked at him, “ok, Boy Scout…show me.” 

He grinned at you and spread your legs even farther to slot himself in between yours. With a small jump he had your back up against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist. He captured your lips before rearing back and plunging into you. A horse growl rose up from his throat as he felt your slick walls squeezed around him. You were so tight, so warm, if he hadn’t already come just a few minutes ago he would’ve been dangerously close to coming again. His pace was rough, and a lot faster than your previous time together. He still checked on you though, watching your face for any hint of discomfort, but those hints never came. 

“Harder…,” you huffed out.

Not needing to be told twice, he adjusted the grip on your ass and slammed back into you, bottoming out completely. You cried out his name, loving that he listened and understood exactly what you wanted. His bruising pace never faltered, and once more, you felt his hand reach between the two of you to start rolling your clit between his fingers. You sucked in some air between your teeth, still slightly sensitive from your first orgasm but the feeling only added to your pleasure. 

Josh rested his head against your shoulder, murmuring into your skin, “need you to come again…need to feel it…” 

You turned your face towards him to brush your lips against the shaved side, you darted out your tongue to catch a bead of sweat, feeling the stubble. 

This caused him to whine out, “please…”

Clamping down around him again, you felt every ridge of his drag along your walls. The combination of the swollen head of his cock rutting against your g-spot, and his fingers squeezing and rolling your clit had your second orgasm start to form at the base of your spine. He bit down on your shoulder, and another growl erupted from his throat. The edges of your vision started to blur as you chased your orgasm.

With one final hard pinch to your clit, your orgasm crashed into you, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body like lightning crackling across the sky. You screamed out at the intensity, not giving a shit if your neighbors heard you. 

Josh couldn’t hold on anymore and as you shuddered against him a second time his own high rolled through his body, and with a shout he slammed inside you one last time before completely emptying himself. 

Neither of you spoke for a few minutes, both of you out of breath. The blood finally started to return to his brain and he lifted his head up to look at you, memorizing your blissed out expression. He couldn’t get over how fucking beautiful you looked right now, cheeks flushed, eyes closed, sweaty hair matted against your scalp. 

His Vampire, spent and exhausted. 

Carefully, he pulled out of you and gently lowered your wobbly legs to the ground. You bit your lip at the loss of him, the wave of emotion catching you off guard. 

You tried to walk to the water, but your muscles gave out and you stumbled forward, sending Josh into action and catching you before you fell. The one thing your spacious shower needed was also the one thing you didn’t have in here: a bench. Thankfully, the built-in shelf that held your toiletries wasn’t very far, and he guided you underneath the spray to get your hair fully wet again. You leaned your head back into the water, grateful that Josh was right there in case you got wobbly again. This time it was him taking care of you afterwards, and for the first time since you’d known him you didn’t want to argue. 

Before you could reach for your shampoo, he already had it in his hand, “turn around,” he spoke softly. Your eyes met his before you did so, another unfamiliar emotion became stuck in your chest, and you turned before you thought he could see it. You weren’t used to this, having someone care. The last time you hooked up with an individual it was very much a ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’ situation, and you were ok with that. It wasn’t meant to be anything deeper, and that was ok. Then. But as Josh lathered up your hair, fingertips massaging your scalp, the mere hypothetical of Josh leaving as soon as he was done with you felt so wrong it threatened to let that emotion caught in your chest to bubble up into your throat. 

The feeling you had, when you were staring at him under that street light in the park, the one where you felt like a silly little girl, returned. At least, that's what you were telling yourself. That you were being irrational, that you were thinking too hard, that you were building expectations that didn’t need to exist. 

You were too lost in your thoughts to notice your hunters hands had left your hair, and had turned you around to rinse out your hair properly. When he saw your bottom lip trapped between your teeth and downcast eyes, he curled a finger under your chin and tilted it up, forcing you to look at him. 

“Still with me?” 

It was such a simple question, a little check in to make sure you were ok, but when your eyes met his, and those irises of molten molasses looked right through your facade, you couldn’t hold back that emotion lodged in your chest anymore. You threw your arms around his neck and clumsily kissed him again, allowing yourself to show him everything you were feeling through it. He hummed against your mouth and kissed you back, his hands gently rubbing circles in your lower back. 

After a few moments, the suds from your hair dripped down your back and onto his hands, reminding you both you still needed to rinse. 

“Sweetheart…,” he mumbled against your mouth.

 

You sniffed and nodded, feeling more grounded and less emotional now, and tilted your head back into the water and worked your fingers into your hair to get the shampoo fully rinsed out. 

The rest of the shower went by quickly, taking turns under the water to get bathed and fresh again. Josh’s hands barely left your body the whole time, as if he was afraid you would somehow float away like a lost balloon. You made a comment that he was trying to make up for him being unable to clean you up himself the night before, and he gave you a kiss on the cheek that said you were right, which made your chest tighten again. 

As you got out of the shower and grabbed towels for each other off the rack, Josh heard his phone buzz in his shorts pocket on the floor. Sighing roughly through his nose, he wrapped his towel around his waist and walked over to retrieve it, immediately seeing the “8 Missed Calls from Jake Kiszka”, and a slew of texts that mainly consisted of, “answer your fucking phone, fucker.” Before he could start to call him back, his phone buzzed again with Jake's name displayed at the top. 

With an eye roll, he answered the call, “this better be fucking good, Jake.” 

“Oh the prodigal son answers his phone! I’m so glad we have phones in case of emergencies!” 

“What the fuck do you want?” 

“I need you to meet me right now, and bring your little girlfriend. I think we might have just had a break in your case.” 

Josh turned around and looked at you, knowing you heard Jake on the phone loud and clear, “what do you mean?”

“I think we may have caught whoever the fuck is killing people in the act…”

To be continued...

Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @gretasmokerising , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema , @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal ,

[fruitcoops]

Ok so this post is from a while ago but i just saw it and am wondering if you would want to write something based on it? Or just about trauma response in general?

Fic O'Ween Day 8: Shiver. Credit to @lumosinlove for the SW-verse and @noots-fic-fests for the header + prompts!

TW for trauma response to canon injury (Remus')--flashback, panic attack symptoms; and broken bone.

Call for stretcher on standby before moving out. Careful on the patch by the bench—always extra slippery. Check pulse and breath, then pupil constriction. Pen light in the shirt pocket. Players take a knee to make space. Use your body to block the camera in the right corner.

Remus knew what he was supposed to do. Of course he did. He just…couldn’t move.

“EMTs on standby!”

This was a strange feeling, not moving. It wasn’t even that—a choice. It was a complete and total absence. What was the opposite? Stillness? He didn’t feel still. He didn’t feel as if something had taken the place of motion. A gap had been scooped out of his belly, and nothing had come to fill it. It was simple emptiness where there had been adrenaline five seconds before.

“Lupin, catch up on Vance’s left!”

Had his ears always rung at that pitch? Funny. He hadn’t noticed.

“Lupin!”

Perhaps they had. Perhaps someone in the crowd had brought a whistle. There were an awful lot of people crowding the rink.

“Hey—” Weight and pressure collided with the back of his neck. Remus felt something in him go dim, powered off. “Kid, let’s fucking go! Are you asleep out here?”

James’ feet were flexing in his skates. Restriction of the tibialis anterior from the pain. Vastus medialis, following. His knee bent and bowed inward. If he kept the writhing up, there would be strain on the gastrocnemius and soleus. Remus blinked hard. James’ legs tended to ache after practice. The man got calf cramps like nobody he’d ever seen.

“Jesus Christ,” the hand on his neck muttered. It moved away. Pressure released.

“Rapid breathing, strain in the calf,” Remus blurted. His eye twitched. Blinking took incredible effort. “He’s going to try and stand up. Stop, James, stop it—”

Careful on the patch by the bench. He sidestepped without a second thought. In two strides, he was looking at James’ flushed and sweaty face. “Holy fuck, my fuckin’ arm, on fucking fire—”

“Pots.” His neck was burning up under Remus’ two fingers. Ten seconds, 25 thumps. “150 bpm,” Remus informed the nearest trainer. The pen light was ice-cold in his fingers. “James, give me a big deep breath.”

“Loops—”

“I’ll count to four while you breathe in, and then we’re gonna let it out for four.” His own voice reverberated back to him from a thousand miles away. Ice dampened the knees of his khakis. James gritted his teeth; his nostrils flared. “One, two, three, four. Good job. And four, three, two, one. Nice, buddy. Pupil activity normal, breathing unimpaired. You said it was your arm, right? Up or down?”

“All of it,” James panted. “All—fuck me, Loops, don’t talk to me right now—”

“Almost done, J. Wiggle your fingers.” A faint roaring had started up in the back of his mind. It crept into his eardrums and down his back. Something trickled down his spine and tiptoed through the marrow of each rib. James’ fingers twitched. “Great work. Alright, they’re going to slide you onto the stretcher now. Keep taking those big breaths for me.”

Black, Dumais, and Walker were all hovering in the corner of his eye like crimson-and-black bloodstains. They blurred together as the roaring grew louder. Remus staggered to his feet. His pen light wobbled in his fingers, and he shoved it clumsily into his back pocket. Black stepped forward, quiet as a ghost on his skates. “Is he okay?”

“Um—I don’t—” The left edge of his vision blurred into grey. “I don’t diagnose. Possible elbow dislocation. Or radial or ulnar break. Likely not the humerus.”

“But is he okay?” Black pressed. The stretcher was so yellow against the ice it hurt to look at.

Remus’ throat squeezed. “Yeah, he’ll be okay. Probably out for a couple games. ‘Scuse me.”

Christ on a crutch, he was going to throw up if he didn’t get out of here right fucking now.

Black wasn’t looking at him anymore. Walker was talking to James as they loaded him up and began rolling him off the ice. Dumais…

Dumais was staring at him dead-on. Remus swallowed hard, and saw him lean over to whisper at Moody.

Would he—could they fire him for this? He thought he did okay. Pulse, pupils, penlight, ice patch. Four for four. He had been slow getting off the bench, but that was an abnormality. Nothing they needed to be concerned about for the future. There wouldn’t be a repeat performance. There wouldn’t, there wouldn’t.

He couldn’t feel his knees.

Moody was walking toward him.

Remus just barely managed to stumble back onto solid ground in the wake of the stretcher before Moody caught up. Barely. The flex of his hands was starting to hurt. Sweat and chemicals and terror washed his nose with acid.

“Lupin?”

He could feel plasticky foam on his cheek. It itched. Stung.

“Hey, kid, you with me?”

In the distance, his mouth coughed out a mumble. Fingers snapped under his nose. He couldn’t bring himself to flinch. If he flinched, the hands on his body were going to wrench his life out through his shoulder.

“Walk with me.”

Pressure on his upper back. A lurch.

Pale wood door. Heavy lock. Cold handle. Man door hand hook car door. Jules thought that was the funniest ghost story in the whole world.

“Sit.”

It was less of a sit, more of a controlled fall, and the easiest thing Remus had done in the past half hour. Something heavy fell over his shoulders.

“Hand.”

Man door hand hook car door.

Rough hands took one of his own between them. His wrist was full of gel instead of bones. Cooling gel? Ice pack. James was going to need—“Ice packs. Pots needs ice packs.”

His palm was clammy when it pressed to the base of his own throat. “We’ll have some ready when the docs are done.”

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. “160 bpm.”

“Take some breaths.”

An inhale sounded gaspy in the underwater buzz of the rink. An exhale rushed out all at once. He felt a little push to the back of his hand, and his fingers curled over his collarbone. The heel of his palm was solid against his sternum. The hollow of his throat gave slightly under his thumb. “130 bpm.”

“Keep going.”

“My neck.”

Extensive damage. Rhomboid. Deltoid. Trapezius. All the way into the splenius, though he wasn’t sure if that was from the hit or the dislocation or being pinned. A seat of salt poured into his mouth. He could taste it, the inside of a glove and the chemicals they used to clean the locker room mats. His head throbbed, pounded, he couldn’t see.

“145 bpm.”

“What’s wrong with your neck?”

“Strain potential whiplash impact.” Words tripped over each other to explain with complexity the situation did not need.

The hand over his own vanished, leaving cool air. Fingertips pushed gently against the sides of his neck. “Keep breathing, Lupin.”

A thumb ran along the outside of his spine and the floor came into focus. Prodding, palpating. Gentle despite the rasp of calluses at his nape. Steady, not gripping. He could pull away if he wanted to.

“I don’t feel damage.” A push beneath his ear. “Just some tension. Rate?”

Remus exhaled. “110.”

“Good work.”

“Thank you.”

“You interns and your manners,” Moody muttered. A few blinks brought his face back, all scrutiny and scowls. Remus had learned not to take it personally. “Relax, Lupin. Hand stays there until you’re under a hundred, you hear me?”

“Mhm.”

He was so lucky. He was so lucky. They were so kind to him here. He would try to deserve it.

“I’m sorry.”

Moody stood and pumped some sanitizer into his palm. The sharp tang chased out the bitter chemicals lingering in Remus’ memory. He sat back in his rolling chair, half-watching the game on the corner TV while his glass eye remained focused just over Remus’ shoulder. “Why?”

“Froze up.”

Moody set his bad leg up on a footstool with a grunt. “Rate?”

“90.”

“Where’d you go out there?”

A locker room, two years and a thousand miles away. “College.”

“Bad hit?”

Remus took a shaky breath. “Yeah.”

Moody nodded. “Gonna be a problem?”

“Shouldn’t.”

“Tell me if it is.” On the screen, Kasey made a beautiful save. “You’re not in trouble.”

“I’m sorry.” Sweat was beginning to freeze on his skin; he shivered. He took his palm off his neck and tucked it under his thighs, but missed the pressure above his heart almost instantly. The light blanket over his back wasn’t much more than a thin comfort. “I just—I don’t know. I didn’t know that would happen.”

“You’re young. You learn.”

“James was down.”

“It was five seconds, Lupin.” Moody’s voice wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t cruel, either. “You did your job. Now you know.”

The back of his throat prickled. He managed a nod.

“You know, Heather is a resource for all Lions staff.”

It’s not that simple, he wanted to say. But—it could be. Maybe. Not right now, when he was teetering on the tightrope between two worlds, but soon. He could do that for Moody and James and Arthur and maybe, just a little, for himself.

[endara]

Alastor x Reader Chapter 7 out now! 🖤

Asexual/Demiromantic Alastor, Reader is AFAB and on the asexual spectrum.

Fluff + Angst + Protective Alastor. Kinda slowburn. Flashback type scenes with human Alastor and reader being a serial killer duo and falling in love. Childhood friends to lovers. Reunited after 100 years. Alastor is a mamas boy. Angel and reader have a best friends dynamic. Valentino gets fucked over!

---

In the few weeks you’d been getting to know Alastor again since you'd reunited, you had never seen his full demon form from a distance like this. You’d had his shadow tentacles used around you once or twice, sure. But then you had been too close and distracted to really get a good look. It made sense to you now why so many people were terrified of him. His limbs were warped and extended in a way that made you feel uneasy. Dark, writhing tentacles sprouted from his back, two held him off the ground while another two held his victim elevated and pinned to the wall. The rest of them swirled menacingly behind him.

It was quite fascinating… In some strange way.

You couldn’t make out what Alastor was saying, all you could hear from where you stood watching him at the end of the alley, was the radio static emanating from him. Even from here though, you could see his smile cutting through half of his face, the corners of his lips were pulled to rest beside his eyes while he grit his teeth.

“Holy shit!” Angel Dust squawked from beside you when he finally caught up and spotted Alastor.

The Radio Demon reacted to the sudden voice instinctively, not registering who the voice belonged to before he’d sent a bin lid flying like a frisbee. It smacked Angel in the head and he yelped, his feet going out from under him as the impact almost immediately stunned and knocked him out.

In the few seconds it took for Angel to fall, you just about managed to grab under his arms before his head hit the floor. But you stumbled from the sudden unexpected weight, “Jesus Christ.” You exclaimed and looked up with wide eyes at Alastor, whose limbs were now back to their regular proportions and his feet were planted on the concrete.

At least by now, he’d realised who was watching him wasn’t a threat. He looked at you with narrowed eyes and a tight-lipped smile, the man behind him still pinned to the wall and begging you to help him. The poor guy didn't realise you had no intention of stopped Alastor's fun.

You planted your feet firmly on the ground so you could better support Angel.

When you checked on your unconscious friend, you sighed in relief, he seemed like he was going to be okay. His head wasn’t bleeding and he was breathing just fine.

“What are you doing here?” Alastor asked, his voice low and annoyed from the interruption. He also didn’t like the fact that he didn’t know how long you’d been watching or following him. Or why his sentient shadow duplicate hadn’t alerted him to your presence.

“Sorry. We didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” You answered, your voice strained from trying to support the weight of your much taller friend. Slowly, you were able to lift him up enough that his legs were the only thing dragging on the floor as you approached Alastor. “We were on our way back to the hotel when Angel spotted you. I just wanted to say hi and see what you were up to.”

Alastor watched you as you struggled to keep an unconscious Angel Dust off the floor, but he didn’t offer to help. If he were you, he would have dropped the pornstar onto the cold ground without an ounce of guilt by now.

He turned his head to shoot an annoyed death glare at his victim, all that yelling at you for help was starting to get on his nerves. The man whimpered in fear and cowered towards the wall as if it would protect him. When Alastor was satisfied enough by the reaction he got, he looked back at you.

“Why are you not at the hotel in the first place my dear? Did you forget there's a madman loose with your name atop his list?”

“Of course not. But I needed to visit my club to see how everything was going without me. I can't put my life on hold forever... I brought Angel with me, so I wasn’t alone- But he isn’t very helpful now you’ve knocked him out.” You explained, lifting your friend up slightly as you mentioned him.

Alastor laughed, moving his mic from one hand to the other and then looked at the limp Angel Dust in your arms, “Aha! I suppose that is true. Although I’m not sure he would have been much help while awake either.” He flashed a charming smile and shrugged, “But not to worry darling. Now you are here you might as well stay. I will ensure you return to the hotel unscathed.”

Read here <3

[sugartitstownley]

💙 A Trikey Lookbook 🧡

Here’s a collection of some fun Trikey stuff. I forgot Tumblr has a 10 image limit, so I had to combine some images, and there’s definitely going to be a part 2 and possibly part 3 because I have so many things in my gallery.

Warnings: Talk of violence but nothing too graphic, rude comments over weight, explicit language, sexual innuendos and but no actual smut.

Michael watches with a disapproving look as Trevor hangs up newspaper articles and images of their various dealings across town.

“T, do you have to hang it like it’s fuckin’ artwork?” Michael huffs, pointing at the paper on the upper left. “I feel like I’m comin’ too close to landing my ass in jail. That Lawrence guy named me for Christ’s sake — and it’s your fault!”

Trevor smirks. “Ah, come on, Mikey! It slipped out. Whats the big deal? We’ll be in a new town tomorrow.”

“The big deal is that I prefer not to have my name plastered on the evening news!”

“Relax,” Trevor rubs his hand up and down Michael’s tricep. “Wear it like a badge of honor. Your name is in the paper, and those idiots still have no idea who you are. You’re a fuckin’ legend!”

At that, Michael finally cracks a smile. “Yeah, I guess.”

“And you’re hot, too,” Trevor says while taping up the sticky note next to Michael’s picture, his smirk growing as he listens to the shorter man laugh beside him.

“Now that I knew already.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

Overplayed Christmas songs and the faint smell of gingerbread fill the house. Michael can barley make out the sound of Amanda griping to her father over his questions about her chosen profession and when she was going to “grow up.”

He knows he should be out there pretending to enjoy the family bickering and Christmas cheer, but he honestly feels like a fish out of water.

The family, the gift wrapping, the normalcy — it’s certainly better than any holiday he spent during his youth. Still, he can’t help but compare it to every year with his maniacal counterpart, Trevor.

“Mikey-boy, got those beers you were wanting,” Trevor says, dropping the six pack on to the motel bed. “I better be rewarded. It was hell out there.”

Michael glances over from his spot on the bed, his eyes immediately drawn to Trevor’s once-clean outfit that has now become disheveled and stained with dark red within the short time the man was gone. “The fuck happened?”

“This fucking family,” Trevor starts while stripping from his clothes, not bothering to warn Mike since it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. “All I did was tell the father to watch his fucking kids before they get hit by oncoming traffic.”

Michael, knowing there’s way more to the story than his partner in crime is telling him, shoots him a look. “Jesus Christ. Did you kill him in front of his kids?”

“What? No! God, M. Who do you think I am? I killed the kids first obviously since he clearly didn’t give a shit about them,” Trevor shrugs, pulling on a fresh pair of sweatpants.

Seeing Michael’s face pale, Trevor quickly continues. “I’m kidding! Sweet Jesus. I hit a deer, so I gutted him a little for meat. You’re welcome.”

Michael sighs softly, relieved that Trevor hasn’t done anything to prematurely set off alarm bells to local authorities for their next score. “Sorry, T. Just on edge, I think.”

“Come on,” Trevor grabs the beer pack and pulls Michael up by his hand, leading him over to their portable oven. “Let’s bake some cookies, probably ruin them since that’s our tradition, and then just watch one of those fruity fuckin’ movies you like.”

A knock on the door brings Michael out of his flashback, and a few seconds later, Amanda‘s head pops through the door, followed by her hands holding two decorated Christmas cookies.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Amanda asks, gesturing to the letter beneath his hand.

“Nothing, nothing,” He stands up, dropping the marker, vowing to finish the letter later and send it out in the morning. “I’m coming.”

He grabs the sugar cookie out of her hand and takes a bite as he follows her back into the living room. Somehow, the golden brown cookie with a soft center and a delicate balance of sweetness is no match for the dry and crumbly cookie sporting burnt edges and artificial flavors that he’s used to tasting every year with Trevor.

God, he misses him.

“How the hell did you even get into my office without security stopping you?”

Trevor looks up from his office chair at the Vanilla Unicorn to see Michael standing over him. “What?”

“This,” Michael drops the paper in front of the other man. “What does this mean, Trev? I thought we were over this shit.”

“First of all, Michael, I will decide when we are over it,” Trevor snaps. “Second — can’t a guy joke around anymore without there being some deeper, psychological reason for it?”

“With you? I think there’s always a deeper, psychological reason,” he grins. “But c’mon, how’d you get this in the studio?”

“I’m a seasoned robber, pork chop. Don’t you think I could get in without anyone knowing?”

“Uh, you’re more the type to be so loud and brash that everyone ends up knowing you’re there.”

Trevor shrugs, knowing his running buddy has some sort of point. “Alright, I told them we were married, and I needed to see you.”

Michael laughs, but his amusement is short lived when Trevor’s face stays earnest. “You didn’t.”

“I sure did, Mikey. And a few of those assholes weren’t very supportive, so you need to watch the company you keep, man.”

“Trevor! I work with those people! They all know I’m married to Amanda. What did they say? Were they shocked?”

“Not one soul was shocked,” Trevor huffs out a laugh. “Eighty percent of Vinewood is in the closet.”

Michael falters. “But … I’m not. I’m not —”

“I think we both know that’s not true, sugar.”

First dates. They were one hundred and ten percent first dates — or were they? What even is a date?

Longing looks, some sort of nerves, maybe a sprinkle of sexual tension for a lot of people — Christ. By that definition, he and Trevor had been on nothing but dates their whole lives with one another.

It’s not that Michael didn’t know there is something between them, but what that something is often eluded him.

He had miraculously talked Trevor into going to a Los Santos Panic game. Neither guy was a sports fanatic — Trevor choosing to forgo watching sports altogether for the most part because, in his words, “if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys touch balls, I’d just watch porn,” and Michael was undoubtedly more of a movie buff since most games only reminded him of what could have blossomed out of his high school football career.

Nonetheless, Michael indulged in a game or two — if not for the game itself, at least for the buttered popcorn and greasy hotdogs.

“You know that shit is bad for you, right? One day, I’m going to have to call the paramedics to haul your fat carcass out of the bed after you have a heart attack in your sleep.”

Michael rolls his eyes before halfheartedly giving Trevor a shove. “Ha, ha. Very funny, cocksucker.”

“It’s not a mean insult if it’s true, Mikey.”

Their next “date” is at Beachwalk Bistro near Vespucci Beach. Both men slipped into some unspoken agreement that they are delicately walking the line between friendship and more.

Michael fidgets with his napkin, glancing over at Trevor who seems uncharacteristically uneasy as well. The air crackles around them with an energy, a blend of nostalgic and unexplored feelings.

Michael clears his throat. “So, uh, how’s life?”

Trevor smirks, his eyes glistening with amusement. “How’s life? You mean since you last saw me yesterday?”

Michael gives a subtle sigh before changing the subject completely. “Amanda and I are getting divorced.”

At that, Trevor nods. “Yeah, Jimmy told me.”

A look of shock crosses Michael’s face, but before he can ask, the waiter comes over and interrupts them. They hastily place their orders before retreating into silence.

As the night unfolds, their conversation sticks — for the most part — around work, upcoming plans with Franklin and Lamar, and anything else but the emotions lingering beneath the surface. That doesn’t stop Trevor from brushing his hand against Michael’s while grabbing at his plate for a taste or Michael from taking an extra long glance at his best friend.

With plates emptied and stacked, they both leave the restaurant, choosing to make the short trek to Vespucci Beach and walk.

There is a hesitant pause before Trevor breaks the silence. “This wasn’t terrible, Mikey.”

“It was different.”

Trevor hums in agreement, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, different. In a good way.”

Their eyes met, a shared understanding between them. The unspoken tension that’s been building since Trevor made his way back into Michael’s life gave way to a warmth that only hinted at the depth of their connection.

Michael reached out his hand and tentatively linked his fingers through Trevor’s, and the taller man reciprocated immediately by giving a subtle squeeze.

“We’ve been through a lot of fucked up shit, Trev,” Michael says, stopping along the water to look at Trevor. “I know we’ve worked through most of it by now, but I didn’t really expect things to turn out like this.”

“Life’s full of surprises, sugar.”

Their eyes meet, and suddenly one — or both — are leaning in to finally close the distance. The first brush of their lips ignits the metaphorical spark that has been smoldering for months.

As they pull back, neither man is quick to say anything. Instead, Michael just tugs on Trevor’s hand, and they head down the beach once again.

“So, Mikey. Kissing your best friend on the beach under the moonlight. A little cliche, even for you, don’t you think?”

Michael just grins and shakes his head. “What? You’ve never had a fantasy?”

“Well, there was one,” Trevor starts. “We kill a bunch of those bikers, dump their bodies in the river, then fuck in their van — or keep their bodies in the van … you know, if you’re into that.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Michael mutters. “Let’s just keep our thoughts to ourselves from now on.”

“Your loss.”

Yeah, they were definitely dates.

“You’re ‘embarrassed’ for us? You’re the one who spray-painted that in the first place!”

“I was trying to be loving,” Trevor huffs. “At least I didn’t take a picture of my meal like I’m a middle-aged white mom on Lifeinvader.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael says, running his hands through Trevor’s grown-out hair. “Make fun all you want. You wrote ‘Trevor plus Mikey’ on the wall. You love me.”

“Shut the fuck up before I tell Amanda about the time you wore her underwear.”

Michael points a finger at his boyfriend. “That was one god damn time, and it was only because you asked.”

Trevor laughs. “You looked pretty, sugar. Don’t worry.”

“You can’t avoid her forever, Mikey.”

Michael groans, his head resting in his hands as he lays on their shared bed. “Tracey saw the notes, T. She knows.”

“Well, we do live together now. I’m pretty sure she already knows.”

“No,” Michael drops his hands to meet Trevor’s eyes. “Christ. She knows what the notes said. How the fuck can I look her in the eyes now?”

Trevor’s face scrunches up in confusion. “You divorced her mom to shack up with her uncle. How the fuck could you look her in the eyes before?”

Michael tries to glare at him, but it doesn’t come off as menacing as years prior — it never does now. “I know you ain’t wrong, but you don’t have to say it.”

“She loves you. Stop worrying.”

“But —”

“‘No buts,” Trevor cuts him off, placing a kiss on the top of his head. “She just wants you happy. So stop moping like a sad sack of shit and come cuddle me.”

“Now who’s the one hanging shit like it’s art?”

Michael feels Trevor wrap his arms around him from behind and place a kiss on his neck. “What do you mean, T?”

“Has your memory deteriorated already? You used to hate when I’d pin up pictures of our various … activities.”

“That was different,” Michael links one of his hands with Trevor’s, who are still wrapped around his waist, and uses the other one to sort through more photos before landing on one. “Do you remember this night back in North Yankton?”

Trevor lets his gaze fall down to the photo, which shows a young Michael and Trevor sporting a buzz cut and long hair respectively. They’re standing in front of a fire, the soft glow from the flames highlighting their features. Trevor, who has one arm around the shorter man’s shoulders is flipping off the camera, and Michael is smirking up at Trevor like he just said something amusing before the flash went off.

“Sure do, pork chop,” Trevor says. “Think Brad took this one. More importantly, I couldn’t forget this night if I tried. Your questionable singing still haunts my nightmares.”

Michael chuckles, reaching for another photo. “I thought I sounded pretty good.”

“Keep dreaming,” Trevor unwraps his arms around Michael to look through the remaining photos. “Can I add stuff to this board too?”

“So long as it doesn’t scar anyone,” Michael jokes.

“No promises, Mikey.”

[losersimonriley]

I want to ask about all of it but please,,, a crumb of sundowning 🙏

Camus I would post sundowning in its entirety right here right now if you asked me to 💘

Here’s a hospital scene mixed with a little flashback:

He clears his throat, fully doubting this will do anything, but willing to try anything.

“Johnny?”

It’s the first time he’s said the name aloud since–

Since.

“Johnny?” She asks, flipping through the chart. “He goes by Johnny? There wasn’t anything in here—”

“No. No, just…,” he trails off, not knowing how the fuck he’s supposed to finish that sentence without giving the impression that they’re something they’re not. He does go by Johnny but you can’t call him that. Nobody else can either actually, unless it’s me. Right then. Jesus Christ. It’s almost a more embarrassing scenario than when he wanted to tell the nurse aide to let him be the one to bathe him.

He remembers Soap warning Alejandro not to call him Johnny. It feels like a lifetime ago. He didn’t know it at the time but that was only the first of several incidents to come from the name.

Soap has completely pulverised their only source of intel. Ghost would be seething about it if he weren’t so turned on.

Soap hadn’t lost it until the rat-faced bastard taunted him with the nickname he’d overheard Ghost use.

“Call me that one more time, ye fuckin’ wankstain, swear I—”

Soap rears back to put a boot in the man’s face, but Ghost finally gains the sense to put a stop to it. He grips Soap by the collar and yanks.

“Simmer.”

It’s unbelievable how quick the raging fire dies down. All from a simple touch and command. He vaguely wonders what else his sergeant might do if he only gave the word.

“Sorry.”

“Mind tellin’ me what the actual fuck that was about?”

“He called me Johnny,” Soap mumbles, looking off to the side.

It reminds him of a child explaining to a parent why he got into a fight in the schoolyard. Similar to a child, the reason is because of name calling. And this one is just a normal bloody name.

“I call you Johnny.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the only one who can.”

He’s said that before—weeks ago in Mexico. Ghost still doesn’t understand it, hasn’t asked, too hesitant about throwing a wrench in this little friendship they’ve started to build. It’s been so long since he’s had a mate like Johnny. Never, actually.

But throw a wrench he must do now because when Price finds out about their prisoner…well. He needs answers. Ones that make even the slightest bit of sense to himself at the very least.

“Why?”

“Because it sounds sexy coming out of your mouth, sir.”

Insubordinate little—

“I don’t know, Ghost,” Johnny sighs, running a bloodied glove down his face. “Supposin’ the both of us need to figure that one out.”

“Just a name I use for him.”

It sounds weak even to his own ears. Heat gathers in his cheeks and he can only hope the mask is high enough to cover the blush. She gives a thoughtful hum before nodding at him to continue.

Why is this so humiliating?

“Johnny,” he says with a bite. “Eyes open for us.”

Nothing. The disappointment that floods his body shouldn’t be so sharp. He’d expected this, afterall. He flops back into his chair.

Emily presses her pen down against Soap’s fingernail with more and more pressure each passing second. Simon digs his own fingers into his kneecaps and Johnny doesn’t open his eyes. Just as expected.

What’s not fucking expected is Johnny’s arm suddenly jerking away from the pressure against his hand.

Ghost shoots up out of his chair once more.