#jokes on the other two because they're gonna end up in love with him

[aimbutmiss]

I've said this a lot (a lot of people have actually) but I will say it again because we got two seconds of cross guild in the new opening and I can't stop thinking about them:

Cross guild is the funniest and most random dynamic to exist ever. How did Oda even come up with the idea like what was the thought process

"I bet you can't come up with the most ridiculous trio and make it work so hard that they become the most iconic trio to ever exist"

"alright bet"

[disgustingtwitches]

MDNI

Working at a restaurant with 141! (Part 1)

Let's get this out of the way, the restaurant fucking sucks. Don't even know how it's still open. The food is terrible. The owner is an incompetent drunk who's never there. You got referred to the job from a friend of a friend. You did an interview with the head chef/manager, John. He hired you because you were hot.

"The fuckin ass on that one, huh?"

Just like any man that works in a restaurant, they're all horny fucks who love to tease you. You'd run back to the kitchen and ask to tweak an order. Price would wink and say:

"Next time it's gonna cost ya."

When it gets slow (which was all the time), you'd sit in the back and chat about how they met and what they did with their lives. They all get paid under the table for various reasons. Johnny takes smoke breaks with you, sometimes Price joins. Gaz pours shots for everyone after "busy" nights (busy meaning there was an hour where there were two tables to serve instead of one). Ghost... well he's strictly work. Sometimes he engages in banter with the guys, but he only acknowledges you when needed.

Your first month flies by, you basically get paid to sit around and talk with the most charming men on the planet, and Simon.

"He'll warm up eventually. Just gotta loosen 'em up, just like any tight ass."

Soap smirked as he leaned against a counter while everyone was wrapping up for the night.

"Don't you have dishes to put away?"

Ghost snapped while wiping down his station. At least he was nice to look at.

You and Gaz would roll up the forks and knives talking about bullshit, knees touching. Soap and you would light each others smokes by touching one lit end to the unlit one, all while still holding the cigarettes in your mouths (he called it a cigarette kiss). Price would constantly make food for you:

"Gotta plump you up 'fore it starts getting cold, yeah?"

He'd look you up and down while sliding you a basket of fries. And Simon? Cold as ever. Even when he started driving you to and from work because your car broke down. He drove like a madman, but it was totally silent. You made the mistake of reaching for the radio once, he gave a admonitory grunt and you snatched your hand away.

As time went on, you got comfortable with everyone and they got comfortable with you. It started with suggestive jokes.

"Simon's just straightforward, doesn't beat around the bush."

Price said one day while prepping vegetables with Ghost.

"What are you talking about? He beats around the bush all the time Price, you know that."

Soap walked by with a shit eating grin while he was carrying a bucket of dishes to the back. Uproar from the guys. Ghost storms off following Johnny, knife in hand. You want to stop him, but Gaz places a hand on your shoulder.

"Best not to do that, just let 'em settle that amongst themselves."

Johnny comes back disheveled, wearing a different shirt. Simon is stone faced as usual as he goes back to prep. It only got worse after that.

You'd watch as the boys messed with each other more; pats on the back, that turns to squeezes on the shoulders, that turned to slaps on the ass.

"They're just handsy," you think to yourself.

Eye contact that lingers for a second too long.

"They're just close friends," you think to yourself.

Compliments that boarder on harassment.

"They're just joking around," you think to yourself.

Then you entered the walk-in freezer, only to make direct eye contact with Johnny as he has Kyle's dick down his throat.

"Oh, uh-huh..." you think to yourself.

You didn't look at their faces for a week, they acted as if nothing happened. Then, the flirting only got worse.

"Behind!"

Price would yell while grinding up against Simon's ass when passing behind him.

"Yes, Chef."

He'd respond while he continued cooking, unfazed. They seemingly shared clothes: the younger guys preferred to don John and Simon's apparel all the time. You stopped going into the walk-in for a while, you figured you'd give Gaz and Soap some privacy (although they didn't seem to mind an audience). Christ, was everyone fucking everyone here?

You were taking a smoke break with Price when he leaned back on the railing and adjusted himself, it wasn't really adjusting himself as it was more him gripping his thick dick and looking directly into your eyes. You nearly choked as he smiled.

Ghost threw you a hoodie when he dropped you off one night. It started raining before you got home and you were complaining about just getting your hair done. You tried to give it back but he refused to take it.

"Keep it. I don't care about that one anyways."

He shrugged. You'd wear the oversized hoodie to bed, the smell was comforting. Smoky, dusty, boozy, like Javanese vetiver. It smelled like a grown man. Delicious. Accidentally wore it to work one day when you were in a rush getting ready. That started a trend for the rest of them to get you to wear their clothes. It less of a trend and more of a competition honestly. They'd "accidentally" spill drinks or food on you.

"No worries, I've got an extra shirt in my car!"

They'd have a wide, cheeky smile plastered on their faces while giving you their shirt. Of course, they wouldn't take them back either; so you had a growing collection of huge shirts that you'd wear around your apartment. Eventually, you had to go back to the walk-in. Thankfully, there were no exhibitionists present. You were reaching to grab some ketchup when the door opened. You and Johnny stared at each other for a long moment.

"Need help getting that, bonnie?"

Before you could respond he was reaching over you, pressing his chest on your back. He handed you the bottle while his dick grew hard on your ass. He was breathing hard in your ear, waiting for your reaction. You pushed back on him and that's all he needed, he gripped your hips and grinded into you. Even through your jeans you could feel his dick twitch when you moaned. It was a hot minute of panting while he pulled you back onto him desperately, like he was trying to fuck you right through the denim. The door handle clicked. You both froze, staring at the entryway.

"Johnny?"

Gaz's head popped in. Your face got hot while he stared back and forth at the two of you. One thing led to another, and your pants are around your ankles while Johnny is face first in your wet folds. Kyle is standing behind you, fucking your thighs and leaving sloppy kisses on your neck.

"Pretty doll, how long have ye bin waiting fur this, huh?"

Soap looked up at you with so much adoration, like he was servicing a goddess.

"Gonna cum Johnn-"

Gaz whimpered and bit your shoulder to muffle his groans as he came right between your thighs and cunt. Soap cleaned up the mess greedily, savouring the taste of both your juices. He didn't stop eating you out until you finished. Gaz held you up while your knees buckled when you came undone. Gentlemen they are, pulled up your pants for you and wiped the smeared lipgloss from your face. You stumbled out of the freezer, walking past the kitchen. Price's eyes crinkled as he saw you head out onto the floor.

~

"You shouldn't do that in there. It's unsanitary. And a health code violation."

Simon looked straight ahead as he weaved between cars. You opened your mouth, but no words came to mind, so you just nodded. Your leg bounced nervously. He grabbed your thigh, stopping the movement. His hand stayed there until you were in front of your place. You stared at him, his brown eyes boring into you.

"G'night."

He pulled his hand away, placing both of them on the steering wheel. You walked into your apartment, dizzy with confusion. "What the fuck is going on?"

[forgwater]

"Ah, yes. Me, my beloved Prefect and my lookalike tsum from another dimension."

Twst Boys and their reactions to you cuddling their tsum instead of them Headcanons

part 1 part 2 part 3

Riddle Rosehearts

He's baffled.

There has to be a rule about this somewhere!

Yes. The Headmage said he must look after the tsum until it can get back to where it came from and he will, but this is too much.

Does this creature have no manners?!

It must know the two of you are dating. It might even have its own version of you waiting for him to return!

And yet.

Here it is, hogging all your attention as you hold it close to yourself.

You're not even facing him!

And no. He is not crossing his arms and pouting.

Cater Diamond

He thought the tsum was pretty nice at first.

He's been forced to reconsider.

Cater would love to take a picture of you with his tsum. For his eyes only so don't you worry~

You must look so cute snuggled with the plush!

And it looks like him!

It really would be adorable!

If only you weren't facing away from him, your face presumably buried in the soft tummy of his lookalike.

.......

This is not fair. You should be cuddling him! He's your boyfriend! Not that overgrown bean.

He secretly hopes the tsum falls off the bed in the middle of the night.

Leona Kingscholar

What do you mean you prefer that stupid plush??? He's right here!

Very much not happy. No matter how cute you look with his tsum in your arms.

He tries to pull the tsum out of your arms.

Tsum Leona is not letting go.

They lock eyes.

You're pretty sure they're glaring at each other.

.....

Fine. He'll let the tsum have this. He's not gonna risk an accident just because that bean is unwilling to let you go.

You're gonna have his tail on you tho.

Jack Howl

Why are you hugging his tsum like that?

Why is his tsum looking like a puppy getting affection?

He's getting second hand embarrassment.

It's not because he would like to be held like that by you. It's because....

Uh. Because...

I mean! He's a wolf! His tsum is a wolf! It should be a little more... dignified.

He's not needy like that!

And he didn't agree to this. The tsum has not business being in his space like this. Cuddling with his s/o....

He keeps looking over to you and his tsum. He's snatching that bean out of your arms at first light. They're gonna go for a run.

Floyd Leech

So this could go one of two ways:

Either he's annoyed and tries to snatch the offending plush from you, which will end up in a fight between the two.

Or

He thinks it's hilarious and that you look cute like that.

He still wants his cuddles tho.

What's Floyd to do in this situation?

He just plops himself over you and the tsum. He's letting all of his weight crush you.

Lucky(?) for you it's only his torso crushing you.

Good luck.

Epel Felmier

He's finally allowed to have a sleepover and this happens!

You've got to be kidding him.

Please tell him this is a joke. He's glaring daggers at the tsum.

I mean.... He's a strong and independent man! He doesn't need those cuddles.

Yes. Yes he does.

He's fine!

He keeps glaring at the happy tsum in your arms.

It's mocking him.

There's no way it's not.

He tries to snatch it out of your arms, but makes the mistake of going for the head.

He gets bitten by his tsum.

Sebek Zigvolt

First Malleus-sama, now this!

This creature must be taught respect!

HOW DARE IT JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS SO SHAMELESSLY!!!!

WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?!

A KNIGHT TO MALLEUS SHOULD NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY!

UNBELIEVABLE!

Sebek gets into a one-sided screaming match with his tsum.

By the end of it he's almost in tears. How dare this glorified plush bean steal your affections away from him!

Tsum Sebek ignores all of this. It is far too preoccupied with enjoying your pets and hugs.

You attempt to console Sebek by promising it's only for tonight.

He does not look consoled.

[simonsslut]

meeting simon in the army.

18+ MDNI || nsfw || f!reader || oneshot/drabble || masterlist

wc: around 4.8k

cw: eventual smut, unprotected p in v, lil massage trope, spit kink, simon being his own enemy, reader being oblivious, simon loves tits, simon’s kinda mean at first but sweet at the end-ish, not proofread.

Lieutenant Riley is familiar with the process of adding a new addition to their little task force. but just because he's familiar with it, doesn't mean he's a fan of it.

a new member, a new person means that he has to most likely deal with another soap of sorts. don't get it wrong, he's okay with soap, but that doesn't mean he enjoys the constant questions soap seems to ask about him, even when he knows they irritate him, but that won't stop his curiosity.

you're confident when you show up to the meeting room, nothing new. recruits are either confident in themselves or they're completely terrified and it'll be written all over their faces.

soap is quick to befriend you, both of you snipers and demolition experts after all. it gives him a whole new buddy to talk with. simon takes this as a good sign, maybe he won't have to spend much time showing your around and telling you about the team and how things work here if soap is gonna spend all his time with you. right? wrong.

Price assigns soap on a mission with another task force soap had recently worked with before TF141. meaning that Simon is going to have to spend every free waking moment he has with you. and for a guy like Simon, this is hell. but don't take it the wrong way, he's like this with everyone.

you're quick to find the large man rude, dismissive. you'll ask barely personal questions and he'll shrug it off and blatantly ignore you. will roll his eyes or just walk away mid-conversation (which was one-sided anyway).

maybe you talked too much? had you asked him too many questions? maybe he just didn't like you for absolutely zero reason. you decided to stop thinking too much about it. you didn't do anything wrong, maybe he's just a natural-born asshole.

Soap had mentioned something about the lieutenant having a stick somewhere deep up his ass and to not worry too much about how he treats you.

however, after telling yourself you'd stop losing sleep over it, you continued.

maybe he just wasn't used to having a woman on his team. They are all men after all. but that wouldn't be professional, plus the others aren't like that with you. they kinda just treat you like their own. they knew about your background, and what you have done, and they respected you for it, so why couldn't he?

simon knows better than most about your background, he had to study your file after Price mentioned your recruitment.

"weapons of choice - melee; knives, axe."

a shared opinion.

he trains with you to see how advanced you really are. weapon training and all that is fine, but sparring? this has to be a joke. that mountain of a man versus you? you've got muscle to you, yeah, but even soap going against simon is an evident loss. and soap is a big guy.

you start off with Gaz. he's also tall and well built, but he's the more common build of soldiers. you guys spar for an hour, or two, and then you take a break.

you don't think much about who your next spar round will be with, so the anxiousness doesn't begin to settle in until ghost's rough voice calls you over to the mat. he's the only one there. and it settles in.

you look over at Gaz and the look on his face is one of pity, your face drops.

it's not even 30 seconds into the round when you're already dropped to the ground. the mat feels like concrete when you hit your back on it.

"c'mon, get up." ghost says in an almost pissed off way.

you groan and roll over, quickly getting back up on your feet. "no mercy?" you ask in a huff. "you won't get mercy when you're fighting for your life in the field, you should know this, sergeant." he states dryly, but the way he said 'sergeant' sounded like an insult rolling off his tongue.

after 30 minutes of repeatedly losing, you admit defeat. but at least he stays with you after hours when the others have left, leaving you both alone so you don't have to keep losing in front of a crowd.

3 months of dry responses, frequent scoldings, straight-up constant attitude from the man and not many interactions besides from when he was ordering you around or lecturing you about a fuck up in training or on a mission.

and even though he wouldn't interact with you much, it somehow seemed that he was always on your ass, always watching to see what your next fuck up would be, always so observant. because why the hell were his eyes always on you? every time you'd glance over at him, he'd already be looking at you with that dark 1000-yard stare, arms crossed and sitting across any room you were in at the moment.

3 months is what it takes for him to not act like a complete brooding asshole towards you even for just a moment. reason? you saved his life.

sort of.

simon was clearing a wide area in a warehouse on a mission and it seems one of the men there seemed to blend in far better than anyone else could. Simon was almost too late, almost the one standing at the receiving end of a bullet to the head, but you had him. and you saved him.

neither of you thought too much about it though, after all, it is your job to have each other's backs in the field. he only gave you a gruff "thank you" when he brushed passed you towards the exit. but you took that thank you as a sign that he didn't absolutely despise you like you had thought he did for the past 3 months.

or so you thought. not much changed afterwards. but at least whenever you'd start a conversation, he'd just stare at you instead of walking off. but he'd always stay quiet. you wanted to give up, you should've given up. but something deep inside you had you pushing.

what it was wasn't so obvious at the time.

but that's probably because you were so oblivious.

you didn't know him like the boys did, you were new. so no one could've blamed you for not seeing the obvious frustration you caused him. soap on the other hand thought it was bloody comedic.

you always assumed the triple checks on your comms and positions were just because he didn't trust you enough to know what you were doing. because why would you think anything else with the way he behaved towards you?

the way he'd suddenly appear when a private was up and flirting with you. he'd come and scold you for having chitchat when you should've been doing paperwork, his jaw tensed. he'd look behind you to give the private a glare that you would've assumed was a 'get back to work' glare and not the threatening glare it actually was, because why would you think otherwise?

when you all went out to the pub for a drink after a long exhausting mission to relax a bit, but you hadn't had alcohol in so long so you didn't think to slow down, eventually blacking out on Simon's shoulder, and ending up in your quarters at the end of the night, boots off and snuggly tucked in under your sheets.

what you did notice is that you'd never be assigned to missions that ghost wasn't on. you caught on eventually but you never mentioned it, too annoyed with him to start an argument you knew you'd lose.

but when you're all at the pub on another night, soap and gaz over by the pool table, drunkenly betting against each other, and price long gone back to the base and having called it an early night, leaving the two of you at the table alone, it slips out.

he's been ignoring your attempted starts of a conversation all night, the alcohol had given you the motivation you needed to try again, but you've had enough of the silent treatment.

"hey, i've noticed I only go on missions that you're on.." he tenses. "'s that because you don't trust me? or somethin?"

he doesn't respond as per usual, and you know he's already annoyed with you but you keep pushing.

"you can be a real prick, y'know?" you mumble out, earning a side glance from him, his hand on the table, fingers tapping on his empty glass. he stays quiet.

"I just don't understand why you dislike me or whatever. I haven't done anything to you personally, I don't think.." you trail off, furrowing your brows as if in thought. he just stares down at you.

"you're a real pain in my ass" you then state rather confidently. he raises his brow at this before looking down at his empty glass and muttering a "Seems we've got that in common."

you roll your eyes and groan, moving to grab your beer but he moves it further up the table before you can reach it.

"hey-" you start but he interrupts, "you've 'ad enough." he grumbles out and you scoff, standing up from the chair and walking over to where Soap and Gaz are laughing it up with each other.

but maybe he's had a bit too much to drink too.

because the moment a man starts flirting with you at the bar, his hand just a bit too touchy, Simon appears, his hand is gripping the man's shoulder and pulling him back with an angered "back off."

you can't even manage out a "what the hell-?" before he's grabbing your bicep and dragging you out of the pub. you stop protesting rather quickly, too tired to continue. you just let him drag you all the way back to the base where he only lets go of you when he reaches the doorstep of your barracks building.

"sleep. now. don't wanna deal with your lazy tired ass tomorrow when you're moping around because you didn't get enough rest." he grunts out before abruptly turning in his place and leaving.

it's the next week when you're in the break room sitting across from Soap who's on his phone and drinking his coffee when you voice your troubles. "I can't deal with him anymore, Soap, really. he gives me such a hard time and I don't understand why," you practically whine to him.

"bloke doesn't know what to do with you when you practically give him a hard on all the time." he says it so plainly. as if it's a common fact, no big deal.

though you, of course, take it as a joke.

"Oh shut up, I'm serious." you groan through a chuckle and he just looks up at you and smirks before excusing himself to go back to his duties, leaving you there to mope at the wall.

the hell does that even mean?

luckily for you, you forget all about your short conversion in the break room, your mind too occupied from the busy week to care about a little dumb joke that soap told.

maybe you should've sat to think about said joke for longer.

you zone out while you do paperwork, your mind running on autopilot so that you don't pay attention to the time on the clock running past 11:30pm.

you hands hurt. your wrists hurt. and your back is sore from uncomfortably hunching over this old desk in this dinky chair that doesn't even spin properly.

you're too tired and too caught up in mentally complaining about everything to notice the tall figure standing in the doorway of the office you're working.

so when he speaks, voice baritone and accent thick, it scares the absolute living shit out of you. letting out a short yell and flinging your pen across the room, you look over at him.

you roll your eyes, too tired to even deal with him right now, preparing for him to lecture you about how sleeping late is bad for you even though literally everyone on base knows that he has the most fucked schedule of them all.

"I know it's late, I don't wanna hear it. this is the only free time I had to do this." you explain, your voice low and tired.

"didn't say anything." he responds and you glare up at him, and he knows.

he walks across the room and picks up the pen that you flung, his heavy steps making their way over to you and handing you back your pen.

he hasn't done or said anything threatening, so then why does it feel like he did?

you whisper a small 'thank you' before looking back down at your sheet and writing a few things down. he just stands there, staring down at your with crossed arms, observing. always observing. that's all he does. all he ever does.

you try to not let it get to you but he's just so intimidating.

you clench your jaw and breathe for a moment before focusing back on your paper. but just as you do that, he rounds the desk and stands behind your chair.

he grabs the chair, pulling it back a bit before his voice demands out, "stand,". you don't hesitate a moment before standing up quickly.

silence.

why does it feel like ages before he finally speaks??

"you're tense." he states and you furrow your brows because what the hell is happening. "y-yeah, I guess?"

the air is thick.

you're so caught up in empty thoughts that you don't hear what he says. "sorry, what'd you say?" you ask but it comes out a whisper without you intending for it to.

"may I?"

you're not sure what he means but you still slowly nod.

you suddenly freeze and your eyes go wide when you feel his palm wrap around your hair and move it to the side, his other hand resting in the crevice between your shoulder and neck, bare.

he's not wearing the glove.

his hand is warm when he suddenly squeezes you there, checking to see just how tense you are and your mind is blank. your thoughts have evaporated and you can't fucking move, because what the hell is happening!?

"why're you so bloody tense?" he asks, his voice so fucking deep that it makes your skin warm up. you've always hated the effect that his voice alone has on you.

'maybe because you're touching me?' is what you think to yourself.

"I don't know? work?" you sound so unsure of yourself that it feels embarrassing.

he mutters a quiet "yeah." while he continues to massage the area.

you wouldn't say this is a complete 180º from the way he's been treating you for the past couple months, but... this is a complete fucking 180º from the way he's been treating you these past couple months.

but you can't deny how fucking good it feels. his hands are so big and warm. the roughness of them surprisingly adding so much more to the massage and it feels so. good.

you can't help the slight moan that escapes your lips when you dip your head forward, giving him more space to work with.

ghost would halt his movements but that would only make you suspicious of what's happening to him behind you he clenches his jaw hard, his entire body tensing as he feels his pants grow tight and fuck is he fighting back a groan.

he did this to himself. he should've just minded his business and muttered an order to you like he usually would. he should've put up the asshole act instead of strolling in and offering a goddamn massage because he would never in his right mind actually do this.

he's barely slept for the past three days, so he doesn't really have control over his own actions, especially when it comes to you. it's always you that gets him like this, only you.

it's quiet for so long while he just massages your shoulders. usually It would be awkward, but this time it's just comfortable.

when he finishes, his hands remain and you start to actually snap back to reality on where you are, who's behind you, and what's going on. you don't move, hell you barely breathe. how could you when you could feel every breath he takes hit the skin on the back of your neck or how you can feel the heat radiating off of him while he stands behind you as if he's a human furnace or something.

there's always been tension. whether it was negative or positive, you were never completely 100% sure which. but it was always there. and it bothered the fuck out of the both of you.

you feel his thumb caress your nape. just a small movement. you wouldn't've noticed if you weren't hyper focused on every fibre of his being standing right behind you, not caring for your personal space despite him always getting pissed about not having enough of his own.

you don't know how to move on from this moment. there're no words in your mouth, your body frozen still under his gaze, under his touch.

you want to say something, anything. but you don't know what.

"ghost," you start, but he doesn't answer, he just rubs his thumb over again. "ghost." you try again.

silence.

"simon." he stops.

"what are you doing?" you turn your head to the side when you whisper this, looking at him stand behind you out the corner of your eye, and he stares right back.

after his silence, you go to move but he stops you, his hands grabbing your arms and keeping you in place. you go to shake him off but when you lean your body back, you feel something against your ass and your breath hitches.

he shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw, he knows you felt it, and he knows he's fucked when he lets out a quiet groan.

"it seems you’ve been stressed too..." you mumble out and his grip on you only tightens. you don't think before you nudge your ass against him again but with purpose and his breathing stutters.

"Don't." he demands through gritted teeth, but you only do it again and he doesn't stop you.

he then pushes you forward and you gasp, your crotch hitting the desk edge as you bend over the desk.

he doesn't do anything for a few moments as he thinks over what he's doing. he's your superior. this is wrong. so why does it feel so good to drag his hand down your back.

he then suddenly lets go of you and backs up, confusing you in the process. you stand back up and turn to stare at him, your brows furrowed and you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

the way you look at him, it's as if there's hope in your eyes and that only spurs him on to do what he does next. he moves his hand up to raise the bottom of his mask up to rest just over his nose. he then quickly loops his arm around your waist and pulls you in for your lips to meet his in a kiss born off of sexual frustration.

you're quick to wrap one of your arms around his neck, not caring at all for what this means because god it feels so good.

he groans against your lips and pushes you back against the desk, lifting you a bit to sit you down on it before he mumbles against your lips.

"you gon' let me do this?"

the man, your lieutenant, your superior who you thought hated you so damn much for the longest time, is asking for your permission as his hand squeezes your thigh.

this is crazy. all of this is crazy. yet you nod.

he spreads your thighs with his hands and stands between them while his mouth moves from your lips down to your jaw and then to your neck, his lips hot and wet against you.

you let him push you back until your back is flat against the desk, his hand moving to grab your hip to keep you in place just as he likes while his other hand loops under the waist band of your pants and palms you over your panties.

you can't help but whimper when he does this which only turns him on more. and he grunts against your neck when he removes his hand only to grind his covered bulge against you.

you huff out as he continues to grind against you, growing in need when heat begins to pool in your core while his hands grip at you tightly as if you'd disappear if he let go. and he's not about to risk that when he finally has you right where he wants you.

you pull at his clothes, a whine slipping from your lips and he knows what you want. one of his hands moves to slide your shirt up your stomach and you let him. when he does get the shirt off of you, he doesn't even go to unclip your bra, instead his hand moves to grab the front of your bra and drags it down, your tits falling out.

he grabs one of your tits and mouths it, sucking, while his other hand moves to pull your pants down.

he backs up and fully pulls your pants off before he's back on you, mouth on your tit while his left hand plays with the other and his right hand slips under the fabric of your panties, feeling how soaked you are.

his thumb applies pressure on your clit which has you already gasping and arching into his touch.

he teases you a bit, wanting to see how desperate you'd get before he actually fucks you with his cock. he slips a digit in and groans against your nipple when he feels how your wet warmth clenches around just his finger.

he adds another and then another, wanting to stretch you out enough for him to squeeze in.

he curls and thrusts his fingers in you, getting to that spongey spot in you that has you moaning and throwing your head back against the desk, whining fro him to finally put it in.

"y'want me?" he asks but you can't even reply.

"I asked if y'want me, love." his voice is gravel when he repeats himself, wanting an answer out of you before he takes this further.

you nod, frantic and and grinding against his palm for more friction against your clit. "y-yes, yes sir, please-" you answer and he feels his cock twitch in his pants.

he moves his lips back up to your neck and removes his hands from you, undoing his pants and pulling himself out, precum beading at his red tip.

you whimper at the sight of it. it's obvious to see how big of a man simon is in general, he's huge. and it seems that so is everything else about him.

he doesn't bother to remove your panties as he's too impatient. instead he just moves them to the side, his finger running down your slit before he brings it to his mouth to get a taste of you, letting out a satisfied hum.

he then brings his hand up to you and orders, "spit", and you do.

he pumps himself a few times to wet it before he aligns with your slit and you inhale when he starts to push in, stretching you out so perfectly for him. so fucking big.

he takes his time pushing into you, his warm breath against your neck when he groans as he bottoms out, deep inside you. “so fucking tight…” he groans through gritted teeth.

you clench around him, your hands slipping under the fabric of his shirt and your nails clawing at the skin on his back, wanting him to move already as you grow impatient and needy.

he does just that, drawing his hips back before thrusting back into you resulting in a yelp from you. and he doesn't stop.

his pace is already above slow and picking up with each time he hammers back into you, curses and moans falling from his lips like he's in heaven, because he is.

your lips meet his again and you moan into his mouth with each thrust. he makes out with you like a man starved, like he's been wanting this for so long…you under him while he fucks into you like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

the only sounds in the room being the squelching of your pussy as he thrusts into you and both of your moans. if anyone was walking down the hallway at this hour which is unlikely, they'd most definitely hear what you two are doing.

he moves his hand down and presses his thumb to your clit while he continues to fuck into you, rubbing it in circles which has you crying out through moans, tears of pleasure threatening to spill out the corners of your eyes.

your breathing becomes ragged as your back arches deeper into him, your hips bucking against his to meet his pace while he groans and nips at the skin on your neck, “takin’ me so well… s’ fuckin good f’me…” he moans and it sets your skin on fire.

he's close and so are you.

your fingers move under the back of the mask to pull at his short hair and he let's you do it, trusting you to not pull the mask off.

your lips against his ear, letting him hear all your pretty sounds and it only drives him further, his pace keeping steady, knowing just what you need when you moan out "i'm close..so close.." and he knows it too as he feels you clench tightly around him.

he surprises you when he places his thumb in your mouth when you moan, flattening it against your tongue and grunting a “open f’me, yeah?” and you do without hesitation, opening your mouth nice and wide enough for him to spit on your tongue. he doesn’t even have to tell you to swallow before you do it automatically, earning a smirk from him before he kisses you again.

the combination of his thumb rubbing in circles against your clit and him hammering into you has your body stuttering and spasming, feeling like you're getting possessed as you let out a strangled and broken quiet scream as you finally come undone beneath him, your vision going for a few moments while he fucks you through your orgasm.

you continue to moan when he keeps pumping into you after your orgasm, chasing his own high while he grunts out "'m gonna come... gonna come on your tummy, love.." before he quickly pulls out of you, leaning back up and pumping his cock a few times before he releases his load on your stomach followed by his heavy breaths.

he stares at you for a moment, his chest rising and lowering in heavy breaths before he leans over you to grab the tissue box in the corner of the desk and wipes his cum off of you.

he puts your panties back in place and steps back, handing you your pants. he shoves his cock back into his pants and then watches you pull yours back on, his arms crossed.

now that the foggy feeling in your mind is gone, you're shy as you stand under his gaze.

you just fucked your lieutenant.

he licks his lip before pulling the mask back down and sitting back onto the chair. you're confused for a moment before he nods his head in the direction of the door and mutters a "go t'sleep. it's late."

you look at the door and then back at him, furrowing your brows in confusion. "but my paperwork-" he interrupts you before you can finish your sentence. "I'll do your paperwork. now go to bed. tha's an order." he instructs and you stand there absolutely dumbfounded before you actually register his words.

you slowly nod and he clenches his jaw before he looks at the short stack of paperwork on the side of the desk, grabbing one and beginning to work on it, but you're still there.

"thought I told you t-" he pauses when you lean down to place a kiss on the fabric over where his temple is, taking him by surprise as it shuts him up.

you then give him a sweet smile, your hand sliding down his muscular arm before you turn around and walk out the small office, leaving him to do your paperwork after he fucked you so well just a moment ago on that very desk.

horny brain = ©simonsslut 2023 — do not steal!

simon experiencing blue balls too many times in secret bc he's stubborn.

[jaeyunwon]

synopsis :: secretly dating your boyfriend Jake for 4 months, no one knows other than your long time best friend. It made you feel wary of her when rumors started spreading around about her and jake dating, she promised you she has nothing to do with Jake, and your boyfriend claims he doesn't even like your best friend... Who will you believe tho? will the truth come to light? How did these rumors even begin?

pairing :: jake sim x female reader

warnings :: highschool au, angsttttt, fluff, comfort, happy ending, cheating, cursing, reader's best friend is a bitch :/, jake and reader are both so inlove, like they're down bad for eachother, reader overthinks alot.

a/n :: I got this idea while rewatching 'marry my husband' so- I'm kinda proud of this one idkkk. please don't forget to like and reblog :)

taglist :: @luvvsnae @lovelymelon

It's already been 4 months since you and Jake started dating, it isn't a lot but Jake never made you regret dating him, he shows his love for you in so many unique ways which only made you love him for it. You both have been taking it slow and not rushing anything, as you discussed with him how you wanted to keep the relationship a secret, he didn't mind it at all as long as everyone knew you were taken somehow.

As you were making your way to the last class for today you saw Jake running your way which made you stop in your tracks, he came up to you and pulled you in the nearest storage room looking around the hallway making sure no one saw you both before closing the door, you saw him trying to speak but kept getting interrupted trying to catch his breath. “Jake, are you okay? what happened?” as he caught his breath he looked at you with his shining beautiful brown eyes “ do you think you can come watch me practice after class? you know, with the tournaments coming up. and after I'm done with practice I'll even take you out”

He said with a wink ending his sentence, you chuckled before answering “of course I'll come I love watching you play even though I get bored waiting all alone..” you paused before you thought of something “maybe I'll bring nayeon to keep me busy while waiting for you.” When you ended your sentence Jake's smile slowly faltered which made you hurriedly say “only if it's okay with you, I still see how quiet you get around her. you know? if you're uncomfortable with me bringing her around I can stop.”

“oh no it's okay.. I don't really mind, don't worry about it”

“okay! I'll see you at practice then, I'm gonna be late to class”

he pulled you in a brief kiss, “bye babe.” he said as he watched you leave the storage room with a smile on his face

When school finished and you were going out of class after you finished packing up, you saw Nayeon waiting for you, you were going to run up to her when you heard two girls talk about Jake, but that wasn't what caught your attention but rather hearing your boyfriend and best friend names together. “omg! In math class I heard somin say that Jake and nayeon are dating"

"huh? really?”

“yes, I won't be surprised if they actually are they would make such a cute couple”

“mhm, they're both so pretty but i didn't hear anything about them dating, how did somin get to know this”

“apparently someone caught them both together alone at sunghoon's party”

when you heard the last sentence you felt speechless, this must be some joke… Jake won't do this to me.. not even nayeon…. would she? your thoughts stopped as soon as you saw nayeon running up to you, you dried your unshed tears in a hurry and heard nayeon ask “are you okay? why are you crying?”

“crying? I'm not, something just came in my eyes but don't worry about it, Jake said he wanted me to wait for him at practice because he's taking me out after, come wait with me?”

you heard nayeon scoff and say jokingly “I wanted to stay over at yours today, why does Jake always have to come in between my plans” you laughed “maybe another time.”

When you made your way there, you can already hear the sound of the ball hitting the ground miles away. You got in and found a seat to wait at while searching for Jake. When you locked eyes with him you smiled at how enthusiastic and pretty he looked while playing, though your thoughts got cut off when you heard nayeon say “I'm still here you know!” you felt your cheeks heat up and you quickly apologize “right- I'm sorry I just can't help it” you saw her roll her eyes and that's when you remembered what those girls were gossiping about and thought “nayeon loves me I don't think she would do that to me, maybe it's just a stupid rumor someone made up” you looked up at nayeon and smiled widely and started talking about the school work.

When Jake was done with practice he went into the locker room to freshen up, but stopped as soon as he saw who was standing there. “What are you doing here Nayeon?” he declaimed “I came to see you, you looked so cool out there I couldn't just stay back” Nayeon said with a pout on her face as Jake's face scrunched up in disgust at her words.

Jake loves you. He loves you so much he never thought of cheating on you and he never will, but he also doesn't want to see you sad he knows you and nayeon have been best friends since you were in middle school so if he tells you how Nayeon is a liar, a fake friend, and how she keeps flirting with him, you'll probably be heart broken. And he has no problem comforting you if word ever comes out but he would rather die than be the reason for your and nayeon's friendship's downfall. He told Nayeon off many times but she only seems to get bolder everytime.

he stared at her for a while before he sighed “what do you not understand of ‘i'm not interested in cheating on y/n’? I do not like you and I never will, what makes you think I won't tell y/n about your acts” he heard her laugh “I'm her best friend did you forget? I can just tell her you're lying. Who do you think she'll believe? Her long time best friend that she knew since forever or some random guy she started dating not long ago? I think we both know the answer to that so unless you want to lose y/n forever you better think twice before saying anything.” And that was the second reason why Jake was hesitant in telling you about nayeon's deceiving actions, he trusts you of course but it hasn't been long since you both started dating, you're still building each others trust so he won't blame you if you believe Nayeon over him but he would rather not lose you.

He felt frustrated with everything, especially with himself, he knows he's not the one in the wrong but he still blames himself for this continuing, if he just had the courage to tell you about it he wouldn't have to deal with this situation almost every day. With his anger and frustration building up he was seconds away from taking it all out on Nayeon but he held himself back and tried calming himself down “get out.” he heard her snicker before she started walking out.

Once he was left all alone he finally let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, and suddenly remembered his promised date with you, he freshened up in a hurry and ran to the school entrance. When he arrived he saw you there with your back turned towards him with no sign of nayeon “hey babe!” Jake said with a kiss on your cheek “hii! you looked so cool I couldn't wait for you to finish” even tho it's been 4 months since Jake made you his you never failed to make him feel flustered and feel butterflies in his stomach just like when he used to and still have a crush on you but it's not like he's complaining about it, he chuckled before he replied “so are you ready for our date?” he pulled you to his car feeling excited to finally spend some time with you alone “yes! Where are you taking me?”

“It's a secret” he laughed.

- 2 weeks later -

Your school's basketball team has just won the year's tournament which means the basketball captain, Heeseung, will be throwing a big party to celebrate their win, which also means nayeon trying to force you to go. It's not like you hate parties. You went to a lot of parties when you and Jake started dating in your first month but they're not really your vibes. “please, please, please just this once go with me” you heard nayeon whine and beg over and over “you know it's not really my type of thing, and I don't even have a dress ready and the party is tonight” you saw nayeon's eyes light up already dreading what she's about to say knowing you don't have any more excuses “I have the perfect dress for you to wear!” You sighed and huffed “okay fine.” nayeon hugged you and started rambling about how you're the best.

as you and nayeon arrived to the party, you tried searching for jake since he's apart of the basketball team of course he'll be here and that's when you both made eye contact and saw him make his way to you but before you can say anything to him nayeon cut you off “hi Jake! congrats on your win” she hugged him and you felt a bit off about her action.

this is normal right? they're friends… and friends hug it's totally normal.. right?

maybe if these rumors that have been going on for quite some time about your boyfriend and best friend you wouldn't have these thoughts, and you felt bad to think they'll do this to you they're your closest people they wouldn't hurt you… right?

your thoughts went into a halt as you saw Jake was talking to you, you smiled and congratulated him about his win and gave him a peck on the lips before Jake smiled and said “I'll go get us drinks okay?” you nodded before your best friend said she'll need to use the bathroom, so here you are now alone in the middle of the party waiting for them to come back before one of your friends, Yunjin, comes up to you and greets you.

as you were both talking you felt your boyfriend and best friend take a lot of time to come back even though you wanted to trust them that they won't ever hurt you in any kind of way, you couldn't help but go check up on them, with the thought of them being alone in a room. Just like how you heard the rumor, you told Yunjin to wait a bit before you left her to go to the drink aisle to try and find your boyfriend.

as you got there you saw a group of people gathering around something, even tho you wanted to keep searching curiosity got the best of you and you decided to make your way through the crowd while pushing around the crowd you kept hearing stuff like “I told you they were together” or “omg you saw them kiss right? So the rumors are true after all” when you finally made it your eyes widened at the scene In front of you.

your best friend, nayeon, on the ground and your boyfriend, Jake, standing right at her feet looking like he's about to hit her. You made eye contact with nayeon and you saw her smirk before she got up and got a hold of Jake's collar and smashed his lips against hers, you felt your heart slowly break, it's like you could hear it break into tiny, tiny pieces. What hurts is that they're the two people you trust the most but what hurts more is the fact you saw the sign but stayed in denial because you didn't think your favorite people would betray you just like that.

When Jake pushed away from nayeon he was about to walk away from her but he stopped in his tracks when he saw you standing in front of him, though the crowds voice is very loud Jake felt like he couldn't hear anything right now, he wanted to do a lot of things all in the span of one minute. He wanted to make nayeon pay for this, he wanted to pull you into him, he wanted to apologise for this big BIG misunderstanding, he wanted to yell at himself for not seeing this coming, but he couldn't do any of this when he couldn't feel his legs anymore.

you felt your eyes tear up, pools of water felt like they're about to burst out of your eyes any second now the longer you stared at Jake, you quickly turned around ready to bolt out of here, to get back into the comfort of your apartment and just let go of this overwhelming feeling, but it all stopped when Jake grabbed your wrist and turned you around.

“y/n it isn't what it looks like, please—” you cut him off not ready to listen to anything right now, your brain feeling like it could shut down from everything “i saw it with my own eyes, don't you dare lie to me” you yelled “no, it's a misunderstanding, just let me take you home and explain please.” you couldn't hold back your tears anymore and just let everything out you wanted to scream, shout, yell, cry, and cry, and just cry till you couldn't anymore you kept hoping that this is all just a big nightmare and none of it is true.

you were about to respond to Jake when suddenly you heard the last voice you wanted to hear right now “jakey! baby why did you leave so suddenly, come on let's go home, you said you'll sleep over tonight.” nayeon said while looking at you smirking.

nayeon didn't want to do this to you. But you made her do it, she loved Jake first, she was supposed to be the one in your place, everytime you and Jake hung out with her she felt like she could tear you to pieces, you stole Jake from her. So she's gonna steal him back, while making you feel just like how she felt even if it meant losing you, at least she'll get back what was supposed to be hers from the start.

“Would you fuck off nayeon, you've already did enough can you stop with your fucking lies.” Jake yelled but you couldn't even listen to them when all you wanted was to leave, so when they were both arguing you took the chance to get out of the party before you felt like collapsing from the lack of oxygen, you took an uber and went straight to your apartment not able to deal with anything right now.

As you made your way home, you felt your legs giving up on you once you got in, now that you're in your home with all the lights turned off, your makeup ruined from all the crying you did from heeseung's house to your apartment, and the tears still spilling you started thinking of everything. How you should've listened to the rumors, you should've seen it all coming…but why though.

Were you not enough for Jake, did you do something to upset nayeon, maybe the only reason Jake dated you was because he wanted to get closer to nayeon and now that they're alone at the party they were probably laughing at your stupidity. “fuck.. why am I such an idiot.” was the last thing you said before you stopped overthinking, you didn't have the energy to get to your bed so you found yourself making your way to the couch and closed your eyes.

It's been one week since you've gone to school, you went back to your parents house to take a small break from everything that happened and since you knew you don't have the heart to confront Jake or nayeon so you took your time and thought of everything at your parents house.

Jake couldn't take this anymore, he needed to fix this, asap. He tried so many things, he tried going to your apartment knocking on your door day and night hoping you'll open up and listen to him but you didn't even open the door or showed any signs that you're at home, he tried texting you, calling you, emailing you, but all of it was in vain, he even waited In front of your classes but all he heard from your classmates is that you didn't come today.

As he was making his way to the school entrance Jake just wanted to get back home, he wanted the day to end even though it just already started. He knows if he shared his thoughts with anyone right now they would call him dramatic and that he should just move on, but how can he move on when you have his heart, his soul, and his mind, he can't go on with his day without thinking about you.

When he was about to walk in front of your locker he stopped immediately when he saw you standing right there, he thought his eyes were deceiving him, and maybe it's all just a dream, or maybe he finally went crazy and he's hallucinating, but when he tried hitting himself you were still standing there taking out your books looking very beautiful while doing so— he stopped abruptly when he just realized you're finally In front of him he can finally talk to you and get everything back to normal.

He didn't waste any second as he bolted to your locker scared that if he wasted any more time you'll vanish, “y/n? It's really you, you look beautiful as ever.” He blushed when he noticed he said that out loud not being able to focus on anything right now other than you.

You wanted to laugh, Jake has always been like this. he would always say the most random things and you loved that about him but you held yourself back when you remembered what you went through last week and it was all because of him and nayeon, you wanted to ignore him that was your plan from the start to tell him to leave you alone and never see his face again.

But your mind felt blank, forgetting everything you wanted to say when you looked at him. The effect Jake has on you will never be explainable; he can just make you weak in the knees by doing nothing. But you tried focusing again, not letting him take over your brain “Jake.. we need to talk.” You managed to say without stuttering over your words, “yes, right we need to talk” he was about to hold your hand to take you to the storage room nearby but you were much faster than him as you walked away.

He followed behind you getting ready for things to get back to normal, to get you back in his arms, where you belong. You were about to speak but he cut you off “look… what ever you saw at the party it was all a misunderstanding I promise, please I was going to tell you about nayeon but I didn't have it in me to ruin your friendship, I know she means alot to you so I let her do what she wanted I thought she'll stop when she realizes i don't like her in that way, I didn't think she'll do something like that, I'm really sorry I felt nervous and scared that if I told you, you'll think I'm trying to ruin your friendship with nayeon and you'll believe her over me, I didn't want to lose you, I'm really sorry.”

By now Jake was full on crying, his movements were slow as he was breathing fitfully, you couldn't process the new information that was given to you “ruin our friendship? Jake, you know I'm not like that if you just talked to me about it we could figure something out together… I didn't know you were going through all of that alone.” You felt confused, sad, frustrated, but especially mad. You were mad at yourself, if you took actions before maybe this wouldn't have turned out this way.

Jake felt better, he finally got out everything he wanted to say since the start of your relationship, he took your fingers in his hands, hesitant, trying to comfort you even tho he looks like he needs more comforting than you do right now, you laughed at his antics and walked closer to him holding his hand fully, you looked up at him looking at his puppy eyes “if you really are saying the truth… maybe, we can start again. I tried moving on from you but it seems much harder than I thought when my mind is occupied with you 24/7” he giggled at your confession feeling giddy “I guess we both have something in common.”

he hooked his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer you felt goosebumps all over your body with every touch you glanced at his lips, you leaned closer until you felt his soft, tender lips against yours. It felt familiar and gentle, you missed this.. you missed him your body felt like it could give up on you any second now, you felt Jake's hand ride up in your shirt as he kept pulling you closer, you gently tug at his collar to pull away for air when you suddenly heard him say “do you want me to stop?” you quickly shook your head and said “not really.. maybe the opposite, please.” he smiled at your response before pulling you back into the kiss.

it was almost the end of the school day when you pumped into nayeon, the minute she saw you she just kept laughing at you calling you pathetic which made the feeling of wanting to hit her more and more appealing, you glanced at her seeing her smirk reminding you of the day of the party

“why..?” She scoffed at your question and laughed “why? Are you for real? What don't you understand? Jake is mine, he should've been mine but you stole him from me so I'm taking back what you stole.” Oh, so that's what this is about “yours? If Jake was yours he would've chosen you, but he didn't. Kinda sad don't you think” you chuckled, nayeon was raging by now “you little bitch— I don't care, shut up” nayeon looked at you in disbelief.

“I should have seen it coming, but I didn't think we would argue over a boy.. at least tell me our friendship was real.” Nayeon laughed again, gritting her teeth “you’re so pathetic, if you want the truth no. None of it was real. I just befriended you because you looked lonely, I felt bad for you.” you felt a lump in your throat and your eyes tearing up but you held it all back not wanting to show a sign of weakness right now, you're done with this conversation “hah you're finally showing your true colors and they're an uglier shade than I wanted to believe, don't talk to me again, ever.”

You turned around and started walking away you heard nayeon scream your name but you just ignored her and went on, you're done with this chapter of life and you'll start a new chapter with Jake with nothing to come in your way, even if any obstacle comes in your and Jake's way you know you'll both figure out a way to get through it.

jaeyunwon 2024 © all rights reserved

[otomestatus]

Can you do a Matsuno Chifuyu request about the the reader aka his girlfriend being called by his last name? Like the other Toman boys love to call Chifuyu’s girlfriend by his last name to mess with them and their reactions changing over time etc (hope this made enough sense…)

a/n: i think this kinda isn't great, but i had fun taking my time writing it. :3c

excuse me, that's not my name !

"oi, matsuno!"

you turn around instinctively to the sound of your boyfriend's last name being called, but he was nowhere in sight when you did. raising a brow, your head tilted slightly to the left as you made eye contact with two of his toman friends. mitsuya and mikey were grinning from ear to ear from their table at a cafe.

"told you she'd respond to it!" mikey snickered. this only left you further confused. hesitantly, you stepped towards their table and rested a hand on your hip, head lulled to the side as you shot them a befuddled stare.

"well yeah. i thought chifuyu was around." you frowned while mikey leaned back in his chair with that smirk you knew too well. it spelled mischief. something nagged you to turn and walk away, but against your better judgement you stayed put.

"nah, his wifey is though." mitsuya laughed-- lighthearted and teasing-- when the realization hit you. his arm rested on the back of his chair as his own smirk spread across his face. your cheeks burned hot with an embarrassment you hadn't felt since your friends caught onto your crush.

you sigh, "you're both unbelievable... don't stay that in front of him, got it?"

that would save you quite a bit of embarrassment, but as soon as the words rolled off your tongue you knew you more than likely ended up instigating further teasing.

you were gonna kill them plain and simple. at least that's what you told yourself as you stood there, mortified and speechless. it wasn't just mitsuya and mikey anymore as the rest of the captains had gotten in on their little joke as well. the moment you arrived for the toman meeting as requested by chifuyu, smiley did not hesitate to call out to you with his signature grin.

"good to see ya, matsuno!" he waved to you from across the flood of toman members scattered about in front of their typical meeting spot. you whipped your head around in response, but this time it wasn't because you thought he was speaking to chifuyu. no, you had grown vigilant of their little joke, fearful they'd use it in front of other people just as smiley had.

emma, who stood beside you, also glanced towards the fourth division captain with a lukewarm glare, "they're children! i tried to stop mikey, but he never listens..."

you hadn't bothered to even wave back and chose to turn your attention back on emma, "they're getting ballsy. i don't know what i'm gonna do if they start doing it in front of him."

"doing what in front of me?" a voice spoke out behind you, causing you to jump and whip around to meet your boyfriends curious gaze. his head was cocked slightly to as side and he had his hands shoved into his pockets.

"oh, uh-" you stuttered, but you didn't even get a chance to finish your response. draken walked up to your trio with a smirk plastered on his stupid face. his incredibly stupid and idiotic face that definitely deserved to get punched especially because of what he said as soon as he stopped in front of you three.

"sup matsuno." he sent a quick salute your way.

"oh hey." chifuyu greeted him back, clueless.

"not you, i'm talkin' to your girl." the vice commander corrected. chifuyu stared at him for a moment as if not registering what he said at first.

"...but her last name isn't-" he began, then quickly shut his mouth. a reddish hue slowly crept onto his cheeks as he held draken's stare and realization sunk in slowly. the intent was hard to miss. especially as draken's smirk widened in mischief. he let out a laugh and pat chifuyu on the back before walking away to meet up with mikey.

"man, you two are too easy!"

this little "joke" of theirs had continued on for another week. honestly, it seemed as if there was no end to it. the only toman member who didn't participate in it was takemichi which were you very grateful towards him for that. he could laugh whenever he heard it, yes, but he stuck to calling you by your name. well, if it embarrasses you why would i say it? and when he said that it made you think. was it really something to be so embarrassed about?

you rest your cheek against the palm of your hand that was being supported by your elbow. chifuyu sat across from you staring menacingly at his study notes. you studied the way his blonde hair fell over his forehead and the length of his lashes as his eyes focused on the notebook in front of him. the memories of that day were painted so vibrantly in your mind while you could hardly remember just what you had done yesterday.

in a secluded spot behind the school with a white envelope in your trembling fingers, you could only focus on your shoes blow you. your face, red and burning, and chifuyu standing in front of you. you never gave yourself the opportunity to look him directly in his face as the anxiety had rose to overwhelming levels. how fast could you make it to the girls bathroom on the first floor? your lunch threatened to reveal itself. and his response after an agonizing silence caught you off guard the most.

yes, you remember it very well, very vividly. since that day you both had been inseparable. your love for him only continued to blossom. so should it really be embarrassing to be referred to by his last name? if fate would be so kind perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to imagine a forever with him.

"huh? you okay?" chifuyu's voice snapped you back to reality. your cheeks flushed with a gentle pink as you dropped your pencil on your notebook.

"y-yeah. just thinking." you murmur in response.

chifuyu smiles, "yeah, me too! hey, so what did you get for number three?"

it had become very natural to come with your boyfriend to his meetings even if you didn't go very often. it wasn't unusual by any means either. many other toman girlfriends also would show up and chat among each other. you were no different, but the hierarchy was clear even if it wasn't spoken. this meant your relationship with the vice-captain of the first division had some perks and drawbacks. boyfriends encouraged their girlfriends to mingle in an effort to build a reputation and possibly move through the ranks.

that's where you found yourself. not being surrounded really, but definitely being regarded quite frequently and this meeting was no different. toman members gathered in front of the musashi shrine and the girls flocked together to chat and catch up. you were deep in a conversation with emma when you heard someone call out to you.

"hey, takemitchy wants to get something to eat after the meeting. wanna come?" chifuyu strolled up, throwing his thumb back over his shoulder to point at takemichi who was engaged in conversation with draken.

"oh, sure." you lean slightly to the right to get a look at them before shooting a smile at your boyfriend.

"if it ain't the matsunos." hakkai calls out as he approaches the both of you.

"hakkai-!" chifuyu begins, but you cut him off with an unexpected response.

"oh, hey." you turn to face the taller boy fully.

hakkai appears dumbfounded for a second as this was clearly not the response he intended for. chifuyu was just as shocked. any irritation he felt had quickly melted away, but his cheeks remained pink.

chifuyu makes a face, "wha-?"

you turn your head slightly to meet his eyes, a wide smile spreading across your face, "what? you look confused!"

"yeah, well, you just- i mean- i thought you didn't like it when they called you that." he mumbled, his shoulders falling lax.

"mmm..." you put a finger to your chin in thought, "i guess i just don't see anything wrong with it anymore!"

chifuyu opens his mouth then shuts it. he's unable to conjure any words in response, but a grin breaks out on his face soon after. he chuckles, "oh, cool then."

you laugh at his response. hakkai stands there not sure what else to do but figure another roundabout way to tease you both. of course, you were far more focused on the elated expression your boyfriend wore after your interaction with him set in. yeah, it honestly wasn't so bad.

[erwinsvow]

imagine if rafe and pogue reader’s relationship was just a bet between him and his kook friends, to see if he could ACTUALLY get her to fall in love with him, like to get her to be all over him and how long that would last, and the reader finds out omgggg. And they break up lol

you think the ending bits of the conversation between your boyfriend and his friends hurts more than everything you just overheard.

"you really think i'd settle for some fuckin' pogue pussy? nah man, top owes me fifty bucks now."

you hadn't heard the entire exchange, just from the part where you heard your name. stupidly, like a naive girl in love with the type of boy she'd only ever dreamt about, you tuned in, thinking rafe was telling his friends something you'd want to hear.

hiding—as embarassing as it is—behind the wall, holding back tears though they don't care enough to stay held back, they pour down your cheeks as the hits keep coming. the boys laugh, but the ringing in your ears had been so loud you hadn't heard the rest of the joke, didn't understand what was so funny.

the first thought in your mind is that you can't believe how stupid you were. the second is that pope and jj and john b had all been right, that it was too good to be true, that he was playing you somehow, that he was a liar and scumbag. you had ignored what your best friends had been telling you, trying so hard to believe that they were wrong, that they didn't know rafe, or at least your rafe, the one who was sweet and funny and never let you drive anywhere or pay for a thing, the one who paraded you around town like you were something who deserved to be showed off, the one who you took back to your tiny house and introduced to your hard-working parents.

you resist the urge to slide down the wall you're leaning against, though every muscle in your body wants to keel over and cry until you can't cry anymore.

you'd been embarassed enough—they didn't need to see you like this too. wiping away tears with the back of your hand, sniffling but trying to stay quiet, you wait for the boys to walk away so you could sneak out of here and pretend that you'd never even come—though you'd only come because rafe said he was having friends over and you'd baked them some snacks for their game, thought you were being a good girlfriend and doing the things a good girlfriend does.

footsteps and laughter echo in the other room—they're gone. the second it's silent, a sob wrangles itself out, eyes getting blurry again. you don't know how you're gonna bike home if you can't stop crying. your fingers fly across your screen, dialing jj's number. you'd been upset at the blond because he seemed to be the most against you and rafe dating, had the meanest things to say and was the first to insinuate there was something wrong if rafe wanted to date you.

you'd been so insulted, so hurt by his words that the two of you had gone from talking every single day to maybe once a week. you hope he doesn't hold it against you now, but a part of you knows jj never would—that's just the kind of guy he is. he answers by the second ring, and you try to stay quiet, just incase they hear you.

"j? can you come get me? i-um, i'm at tannyhill-" the last part is said with another sob, breaking into a fit of tears again. he says he's with pope and that he's coming, and you hate that they heard you cry, because knowing the two of them they'll go thirty over if they think you're upset. you wanna get out of here, but you don't want them to die.

heart thudding, eyes watery, limbs weak, you stay against that wall for a moment. before you can make your way to the door, rafe's figure steps in to where you are. he sees you before you see him—shoulders shaking, hands wiping away tears.

when you turn to look at him, it doesn't take more a second to know you heard something you shouldn't have.

"hey, listen to me-" he gets closer, and you flinch, backing away. you want to say something mean, something snarky, something that'll hurt him as much as he's hurt you. nothing comes out, and you stare back at him, and you hope he remembers how hard he's made you cry, because you've decided it then and there—you're never seeing rafe cameron ever again.

you dart past him to the door. he follows, reaching out to grab you, but you take off, running down his driveway and into the truck he recognizes as heyward's. you get in, in between pope and jj. the last thing he sees is you crying into maybank's chest while they drive you away, and the last thing he thinks is wondering what the hell he had just done.

[actually-azi]

✨ Rating Hazbin Hotel ships ✨

Adam / Lucifer - 3/10, It's definitely a funny concept that Lucifer fucked both his wives and then him, but in reality it's a no from me.

Adam / Lute - 7/10, Their relationship would've been unhealthy af but not gonna lie it's pretty cute. I just love Lute so goddamn much lol.

Alastor / Lucifer - 7/10, I like the concept because it's genuinely funny and kinda cute but only as a crack ship. I definitely don't see it actually happening.

Alastor / Literally anyone else - 0/10, I genuinely don't think Alastor would ever even consider a relationship. He just thinks he's above everyone else.

Angel / Cherri - 0/10, What the fuck y'all, he's gay. This one is weird af and idk why it's even a thing.

Angel / Husk - 10/10, I love that Husk cares about Angel for more than sex, they're so cute together especially if they take things slowly.

Charlie / Emily - 2/10, They're so similar that together I feel like it would be too much. Also I really dislike the idea of splitting up Chaggie.

Charlie / Emily / Vaggie - 6/10, I probably wouldn't mind all three of them together. It would be cute to call it Charlie's Angels lol.

Charlie / Vaggie - 10/10, I love them together, they're so supportive and adorable. The way Vaggie looks at Charlie with so much love warms my heart.

Cherri / Sir Pentious - 7/10, I don't like Cherri all that much but I'm so happy that Pen got the girl in the end, he deserves to be loved.

Lilith / Lucifer - 5/10, Mostly it's low because I'm suspicious of Lilith. If she ends up not terrible then I could see it being higher but idk, it's sus for now.

Lute / Vaggie - 7/10, I enjoy the idea of them being exes or something like that. Or Lute being jealous of what Vaggie has with Charlie.

Niffty / Valentino - 10/10, Great crack ship. The fanart is hilarious and Nif's love of bad boys makes it a great concept. But I do pretty much only like it as a joke.

One sided Vox / Alastor - 15/10, This is 100% canon in my head. Vox is SO down bad for Alastor and took it SO personally that Alastor couldn't give less of a fuck like the aroace king he is. I love this SO much.

Valentino / Vox - 500/10, This is my Hazbin OTP honestly. These two losers are terrible people but I love them together more than I can even put into words. They just fit so well together and act like an old married couple.

Valentino / Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Velvette sees Vox and Val as her dumb gay dads and I'll die on that hill. They're more like a family and she's the glue that keeps the other two from imploding when they get pissy.

Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Not feeling it. Honestly I think Velvette is aroace and/or a lesbian. I just don't see anything romantic involving her and either of the other Vees.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B blurbs: Isn’t She Lovely

————————————————————————-

Summary: Joe brings the twins with him to one of his press conferences, but all Miles seems to want is ‘Momma’.

Warnings: Fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

*No particular date for this fic!*

(Joe’s pov)

“Joe, my mom’s calling. Can you take the boys with you?” - you

“To my conference??” - Joe

y/n, Tyson, and Miles came over to Paycor today to watch us practice.

Afterward, I and a couple of the other guys stayed back to play football with the kids. The guys made a few jokes after Tyson successfully threw a spiral at two years old. I thought it was accidental, but Ja’marr and Tee swore it was the ‘Burrow gene’.

Now that almost everyone had left the stadium, y/n and the twins were allowed to come into the locker room with me.

y/n got on to me about how messy my locker was. I told her it was fine, but Tee made a ‘Happy wife, happy life’ joke saying I should clean it.

In the end, I knew I would end up doing it anyway to please her because that woman had me wrapped around her finger. She has since high school.

Currently, I was just about to step into the media room when y/n came rushing up to me, the twins behind her, saying that her mom sent a text saying call me ASAP.

Zac had just walked out from his conference, and he heard our conversation.

“You’re allowed to take ‘em in if you want to. I know you would rather be with them than have someone else watch them.” - Zac

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” - Joe

“No problem, kid.” - Zac walked off

y/n stood in front of me, her phone still ringing, and I made a split-second decision.

“Go ahead, I’ll take ‘em, baby.” - Joe

“Thank you, you're the best, Joe.” - you

She looked around to see if anyone was present, and when there wasn't anyone, she pressed a quick peck to my lips.

I watched her speedwalk down the hall toward the women's bathroom to have some privacy, and I bent down to the twin's level.

“You guys have to go in there with me for my press conference, okay? You know those videos you watch of me with Mommy where the people ask me questions?” - Joe

“Yeh!” - Tyson

“You guys are gonna sit on my lap for one, okay? If you wanna leave at any point tell me.” - Joe

“Ok, Dada.” - Tyson

“What about you Miles? Sound good?” - Joe

“Sound great, Daddy.” - Miles

I stood up and picked them both up, one in each arm, and walked into the media room.

It was kinda funny watching the reporter’s faces turn to shock. They knew I was a reserved, closed-off person, and that I hated the media, so for me to bring my kids in here was surprising to them.

Pulling my chair out, I sat down and situated the boys on my lap. One sat on each leg.

Tyson laid his head on my shoulder while Miles was looking around, trying to figure everything out.

“How’s it goin’.” - Joe

Everything was silent.

“What’s this?” - Reporter 1

“A one-time thing.” - Joe chuckled

Everyone in the room laughed before a reporter spoke up.

“Who are these cuties?” - Reporter 2

“They're my two-year-old twins. Wanna say your names?” - Joe

I almost laughed as Miles immediately lept forward and grabbed the mic.

“I’m Miles.” - Miles

His voice was super loud in the speakers from how close he was to the mic, and I couldn't help but bust out laughing.

Eventually, I pulled Miles back into my lap and nudged Tyson. He silently shook his head.

“This is Tyson. He's my little mini-me and doesn't like the media like his daddy.” - Joe

The room laughed again before I continued talking.

“You guys can interact with the boys for a little bit but I'm here to talk football.” - Joe

For the first time since I walked in, the room fell silent, till Miles spoke up.

“Momma!” - Miles

“Someone wants his momma.” - Reporter 3 laughed

“Yeah. She’s on the phone, which is why I had to bring ‘em in here.” - Joe

“Momma?” - Miles looked up at Joe

“She’s on the phone, buddy. If you guys can't already tell, he's a momma’s boy. He’s more like her than me personality-wise.” - Joe

“So he’s social?” - Reporter 2 jokes

I laughed as I nodded my head, finding his dig at me to be funny.

“Momma!” - Miles whined

“Guys, excuse me, but I'm probably gonna have to call my wife.” - Joe

This was the most unorganized thing I've ever done.

Pulling my phone out to call y/n, she answered pretty fast.

“Hello? Are you still in your conference?” - you

“Yes, but can you come get Miles? He wants you like bad.” - Joe

“Oh yeah, of course. I’ll be right there.” - you

“Okay, good. See you in a sec.” - Joe

“I won't say I love you, so you don't have to say it back. I know you don't want that being picked up on the mic.” - you laughed

“I love you too, bye.” - Joe smiled

“What?!” - you

I hung up just after that, not caring that I said it right into the mic.

“She’s coming to get this one.” - Joe

I nodded at Miles, then realized he was waving directly at a female reporter.

Just a few seconds went by before the media room door opened and y/n walked in.

She looked at me, unsure of what to do, so I flicked my head telling her to come in my direction.

y/n walked up the platform steps and took Miles from my lap, who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Do you wanna go with Momma too?” - Joe

Tyson shook his head no and sat up, now facing the room of seated reporters.

I leaned the mic away from my mouth and whispered to y/n.

“Thanks, Mama. You look beautiful by the way. I'll see you after this is over.” - Joe grinned

She grinned at me, her cheeks flushing as she situated Miles on her hip before waking away.

When I faced the reporters and fixed the mic back to point toward my face, they all had smiles on their faces.

“Did… did you guys hear that?” - Joe

All at once they all said yes, yeah, mhm, yup.

My cheeks turned red from embarrassment, this was an absolute trainwreck.

“So… Tyson, what can you tell us about your daddy? What does he do at home?” - Reporter 3

“Uhm…” - Tyson sighed

All of the reporters laughed, finding it so funny that Tyson just pulled something so characteristically me.

“He is just like you!” - Reporter 1

“What do I do at home, Ty?” - Joe

“Kiss Mommy.” - Tyson giggled

I immediately groaned and covered my face with my hand. Tyson kept on laughing, and so were the reporters.

“I’m getting exposed right now.” - Joe

“We, Uhm, pway foot…ball.” - Tyson

“We do.” - Joe nodded

“That’s it.” - Tyson blabbered

The room laughed once again till a reporter spoke up.

“So all he does is kiss your mom and play football?” - Reporter 3

“Mhm!” - Tyson

“Pretty accurate, not gonna lie.” - Joe

“Joe, you're pretty smitten with your wife, yeah?” - Reporter 5

“Have been since high school. She’s the best though. The best mom, wife, best friend… and so much more. She keeps me grounded. I know I usually keep my personal life separate from football, but I love her more than anything.” - Joe

“More than football?” - Reporter 2

“More than anything.” - Joe reiterated

————————————————————————-

Authors note: though Joe would never do this, let's just imagine he would.

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its ways they said "i love you" before they had the courage to say "i love you."

daisuga: Suga's favourite movie of all time doesn't really mesh with Daichi. He thinks it's confusing and weird, and the gore is way over the top. But Suga loves it, and the comfort it provides, especially when he's sick, so Daichi always watches it with him even if he hates it. "Why do you always agree to this?" Suga asks, as Daichi's settling in to ride out another viewing. "Because it's something you love," he replies, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

iwaoi: Iwaizumi doesn't think he's ever going to convince Oikawa that he's the best setter, or that he's worked hard enough, or that he doesn't need to compare himself to everyone else. But he hates the way Oikawa can't seem to find value in himself outside of some seemingly fickle ranking system in his mind. So when they're fighting, and Oikawa keeps saying that it's just "objective fact" that Tobio is better than him, Iwa has to grab him by the face and tell him: "I won't let you slander things I care about."

ushiten: Tendou had often made the joke about being Ushijima's best friend, because it was funny. All their team, their classmates, always laughed. "He's my bestest bud," Tendou would say, because the whole school knew they made a funny pair, and it was laughable to think Ushijima would ever articulate a sentiment as juvinile as "best friends." Of course, when Ushijima realizes that people find this joke funny, he's very confused. "If it is a matter of not being good enough for you," Ushijima says, because he cannot think of a reason anyone would disparage Tendou, so it must be joke at his own expense, "then I will earn it."

kagehina: Hinata gets injured late in their second year. Its not the worst injury in the world and will heal just fine, but it takes him out of practice for a few weeks at the beginning of summer. He expects Kageyama to forget about him during this time. What good is a spiker who can't jump, can't even practice? But that doesn't happen. Kageyama seems to, if Hinata's not mistaken, dote on him. Carries his stuff, scolds him for not elevating the offended ankle properly, tells him to be careful. "Why are you being so fussy?" hinata asks. "Because I can't stand the idea of you not making a perfect recovery," Kageyama replies. "Who else could keep up with me?"

tsukkiyama: Yamaguchi likes to tease Tsukki over his lack of other friends. "You're too mean, you scare them away!" and "You're gonna have one lonely birthday if the only person who bothers to show up is me!" The last time he said this, though, Tsukki had replied with: "You're enough." and Yamaguchi still hasn't quite gotten over it yet. They celebrate his birthday just the two of them that year.

arankita: Aran came over to help on the farm over spring break. He didn't have to - between you and me, he hated that kind of physical labour anyway - but it was a way to spend a little more time with Kita before they graduated. At the end of the break, Kita surprises him by giving him a key to the house, "for emergencies," just in case. When Aran blusters and tries to ask why, Kita says: "I trust you." Considering Kita has never trusted anything except for himself and his own actions, Aran isn't sure any spoken sentiment could have meant more in that moment.

[lunememes]

🌙 * ― 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ( a collection of unhinged and relatable things said on discord. feel free to change wording as needed! do not add to the list. )

❛  you know bullying is my love language and you’re still here so… ❜ ❛  i mean... who am i to say no to that. ❜ ❛  hey, some might be into that. i won’t judge. much. ❜ ❛  we can both be dumb but pretty. ❜ ❛  because you wanna know why? fictional men can't disappoint me like real life men can. ❜ ❛ i need someone that’d end the world for me.  ❜ ❛ can’t be sad with dick / pussy. or nice tits.  ❜ ❛  thinking of how they're all old in this movie like wow i love dilfs and milfs. ❜ ❛  he fucking is like a ROACH, CAN'T EVER GET RID OF HIM. ❜ ❛  [name] do not encourage their antics, I BEG OF YOU. ❜ ❛  don't bully me, i'll cry. ❜ ❛  [name]..... why are you such a people pleaser. ❜ ❛  i am an indecisive bitch okay. ❜ ❛  don't squish his TUMMY! ❜ ❛  fair enough but what did you do dumb bitch? ❜ ❛ i have a flyswatter, i will smack him.  ❜ ❛  oh god yeah, add that motherfucker as well... the hate list grows. ❜ ❛  he gets no peace in any universe. ❜ ❛  if they get hurt, they get hurt. ❜ ❛  no love… there is no love in this house. ❜ ❛  truly, the braincells are not in my head. ❜ ❛ i wanna grab his waist. ❜ ❛  they just… need to fuck the anger out. ❜ ❛  could be worse but i'm judging. ❜ ❛ yes, oil me up baby.  ❜ ❛  don't you shush me. ❜ ❛  how dare you make me NOT distracted. ❜ ❛  i'm sure you've seen each other naked before, this is nothing new. ❜ ❛  suffer. ❜ ❛  i ... fucking THIEF. ❜ ❛  old men are just superior. ❜ ❛  sometimes people just deserve to be stabbed. ❜ ❛  bisexuals don't sit normally. ❜ ❛  i never said i was smart. ❜ ❛  what am i to say about this? want me to kiss your booboos better? ❜ ❛  JOKES ON YOU, I ACTUALLY DO, AHAHAHAHA. ❜ ❛  we both know you have a mask kink. ❜ ❛  kick him six feet under. ❜ ❛  to be fair i only killed those at the gate. ❜ ❛  well sooooorry, can't all be goody-two-shoes like [name]. ❜ ❛  i'm gonna murder you. ❜ ❛  it's because you're OLD. ❜ ❛  we're just ... too nice for our own good. ❜ ❛  and then you got sweaty [name] out here going batshit crazy and killing a whole building of people. ❜ ❛  we are in fact too dumb and yet here we are. ❜ ❛  actually i'm a liar, i'd let a lot of men get it. ❜ ❛  oOP NOT ME SEEING ANOTHER VIDEO/PICTURE AND I THINK HE'S FINGERING HER. ❜ ❛  he's adorable when he isn't being a gremlin and trying to randomly bite me. ❜ ❛  it’s in my contract of existing to bully everyone. ❜ ❛  well clearly you enjoy it since you’re still here. ❜ ❛  feeling a little called out? ❜ ❛  anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. ❜

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Which One Piece Characters Are Coming to the Cookout?

tags: headcanons, black!reader, gn!reader

notes. i'm not accepting critiques because i'm not wrong in any of my assessments. we all know these people would be there. i was up late for no reason thinking about this and decided to make it tumblr's problem. keeping it light for my first one piece hc post but i'll be making more

usopp

this nigga's one of us, this is a no question. this is his birthright

you don't see us questioning piccolo and the namekians at the black history month dinner, we don't question shit with usopp

bro belongs here

is most popular with all the younger cousins because of all of his stories

your older cousins are asking sniper king what his wash day routine is because his hair is amazing and we all know it

ace, sabo, luffy

ace and luffy were raised by dadan so these niggas are culturally black. sabo may have been raised by her to a lesser extent than his brothers, but he still was in that house so he gets to come too

the only problem luffy's ass would encounter is that he eat too damn much and he'll steal off someone's plate, so keep an eye on your man and he'll be fine

luffy also knows how to party. it's a challenge when one of the uncles go "you don't know nothin' bout this right here, young buck"

it's the same for ace. he grew up hearing dadan play mary j blige and roberta flack when she cleaned sunday morning so he's getting up the moment he hears someone playing word up

sabo and his top hat would get some eyebrow raises when he shows up but when he shows he knows something about some turkey necks and collard greens, they will be revoking their sneaky ass comments

ace and sabo would be particularly popular with your relatives who want you to hurry up and tie the knot. they help with your wash days, are polite and are very handsome. you will be a hearing a "if it don't work between y'all please give me a call" or two

all three of them will probably keep you at the function longer than you expected for various reasons from 'saying goodbye' and staying an additional 40 minutes to 'okay we gotta stay for cameo, they're playing get down on it!'

sanji

this white boy can cook much to the surprise of your extended family, so hell yeah he gets to come

your family gave you the side eye when you told them sanji would be bringing a dish thinking it was going to be potato salad with raisins and a dash of paprika but bro came with a huge ass bowl of banana pudding and the pudding was made from scratch

he's solidified his place in ensuring he is always invited to a function your family throws

your aunts love that he helps during your wash days, something you bragged about endlessly before you brought him to meet everyone

sadly sanji, like the asl brothers, will continuously fall victim to the "alright we leavin' y'all" but then you end up staying an extra hour because he's too busy yapping it up with all your aunties

you practically have to drag him back to the car

law

you already know your cousins are going to be all over this man based on the energy he exudes alone

"oh he a doctor? so he got money" someone's gonna say it at least once

he mostly sits to himself, more content to watch your family have a good time than interact exceedingly with everyone which may make him come off as standoffish but he really is just happy seeing everyone around him be happy

losing his family at a young age, he's happy to be pulled into yours even if his rbf may make others think otherwise

but all the mysterious aura goes out the window when someone jokes he probably can't play ball and suddenly your family is seeing a different side of him that is childish, competitive and amusing

jinbe/any fishman

automatic invitations by virtue of birthright. it's the same shit with the namekians, they're one of us so they get to come. they are with us on juneteenth

if anything, jinbe IS the uncle going "you don't know nothin' 'bout this right here" the moment the spinners, carl carlton or george duke comes on

[twiixr4kidz]

PRAYING YOU GIVE US SOME THE EVIL EXES X A DUMBASS S/O PLEASEEEE

Like they're so dumb it's not a joke- like imagine Roxy asking her s/o about the menu at a restaurant they're going to and they go "babe....I'm a lesbian." And it takes a full FIVE MINUTES for them to figure out what she meant

OMG YES i am a certified dumbass so this was very easy to write

matthew patel:

listen....... he gets it

he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed

it's like when you're around each other, your brain cells disappear

most discussions end in the two of you looking at each other, very confused, whatever conversation you were having being long forgotten

he doesn't mind re-explaining thinsg to you if you don't understand them

he thinks it's kinda cute honestly

lucas lee:

he is the himbo-est himbo to ever himbo

honestly most of ramona's exes are dumb but in different endearing ways

i can tell you for a fact that he'll tease you for one thing and then proceed to do it immediately after without even realizing

OR HE'LL TRY TO LIKE SHOW YOU WHAT YOU WERE DOING WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN HE MESSES IT UP HIMSELF LMFAO

"babe, that's not how you do a kickflip. THIS is." (he bails and breaks his board)

todd ingram:

todd is probably one of the most confused people you will ever meet

sometimes you say things that completely baffle him

im talking something so dumb his jaw is hanging wide open and he's rendered completely fucking speechless

and you're confused as to why HE'S confused because you thought you explained what you were saying really well

but you very much did not

there are so many conversations you have with him that are cut short because he doesn't know how to respond

"hon... look at me... what?" "huh?" "did you hear a word you just said?" "wait... what did i say?"

roxie richter:

she thinks it's cute!!!

most of the time

other times, she's genuinely concerned for your sanity

"so... whatcha wanna eat?" "babe, im a lesbian" "...what?" "what do you mean what?" "i know... you're a lesbian... i was asking about the food..." "OH"

you cannot hear apparently

she thinks it's funny whenever you do that thing where you hear her but you don't process what she said so you go "what" and then you cut her off when she tries to explain cuz you finally have an answer

she thinks it's HILARIOUS

kyle katayanagi:

he thinks it's hysterical

like you know this motherfucker is the ultimate tease

you don't know the answer to a question? you say something that sounds dumber than you intended it to?

you know damn well he's getting on your case about it

and honestly he loves it

he knows he's smart but he's fascinated by your sheer stupidity

he doesn't mind explaining things to you either

but you aren't getting out of an explanation without him calling you, and i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, a dumbass

ken katayanagi:

he's ALSO very fascinated with the fact that none of your millions of brain cells work

even when it comes to what he thinks is a simple concept, it takes a lot of explaining for you to understand

this is explaining that he doesn't mind doing

maybe his knowledge is just a little TOO advanced

he can never tell if he's the one whose too smart or if it's just your natural dumbness

it confuses him

he's enamored

literally say one dumbass thing around him and he's gonna have you pinned to a wall in the most intense makeout session of your life

gideon graves:

listen... gideon isn't as much of a douche as everyone makes him out to be

he thinks you being dumb is adorable

something about his weird thing for control and how he loves to explain things to you

he doesn't wanna control in a toxic way, let me just get that out there

he just loves how you never seem to know what's going on

god he loves it HE LOVES IT

[keen-li]

"IT JUST SLIPPED"

Today you had to shoot a cooking talk show like video for your YouTube channel. You were so excited and happy cause you had two special guests. Bangchan and felix.

You had a hard time sleeping cause you were so nervous today. And as you walk through the studio towards the set up kitchen you get even more nervous.

"Have they arrived?" You ask your assistant as she walks beside you.

"Yes they just got in" as she says that the nervousness sinks in more.

Its the first time you and any straykids members are filming something together, you have many reasons to be nervous but the main reason is you're afraid you might slip up. Slip up? Yeah you're afraid you might accidentally call chan 'baby' like you always do when you're with him. But most of the time when you're with him it's not infront of large lights and cameras.

Nobody knows that you two have been dating, not your companies, not your crew, not even you're assistant, it's still kinda new so you wanna keep it low. The only people who know you and chan are dating are his members. Who said they found out when they all "accidentally" saw you and chan's chats. The defenders were han and Lee know, when you saw those two open there mouths to defend you knew it was bullshit. Who accidentally reads three months worth of conversations in front of others accidentally.

You were kinda mad and embarrassed that they read your messages cause you and chan had some spicy texts and pictures in there. But chan promised to talk to them and keep his phone better which made you feel better.

And it seemed like chan's talk did work on them, cause they never brought up any of the messages or made any silly joke about it. They only congratulated you and made you feel comfortable.

You see the familiar figure of your boyfriend and his bandmate walk in straight to you. You and chan give eachother smiles hoping no one noticed cause you and him need to keep this a secret.

When they approach you, felix first, you share greetings and give eachother hugs. When chan hugs you he tries to not make it obvious by placing his hand a little lower on your back.

"I missed you" he whispers into your ear and you feel the heat consume you.

"Shut up were supposed to be undercover" you joke.

"But I missed you too" you confess still in a whisper.

You two missed each other like you didn't text and facetime everyday when you can.

He walks by you as he greets the crew.

After sometime and getting things ready it's time to film.

Since its your youtube channel and show you have to be the one to introduce them.

"So today we're gonna do a little cook and chat" you begin to say to the camera.

"But before we do I wanna introduce you to two people" you give a look to chan and felix as they take it as a sign to get into frame. They give their biggest smiles to the camera as they bow to it and to you which you return as well.

They give their intros and you smile at them as they express how they're happy to be here and how much they've always wanted to be on your show. It makes you blush but it's not like you didn't know. One of the reasons this filming idea came up was because chan expressed to you how much you he wanted to be on your show. And after both of your companies accepted, the date was set.

You and the boys laugh as you answer some funny questions and chop up some food. One of the questions led to chan having to tell an embarrassing story which makes everyone in the studio laugh. You also end up telling a story and chan can't help but watch as you smile and giggle when you tell the story.

He always loved hearing you talk and express yourself, it's one of his favourite things about you. Feeling his loving gaze on you, you glance at him and warn him making him look away and focus on washing the lettuce.

You're cutting some cucumber when it slips from the grip of the knife and cuts you a bit.

You hiss catching everyone's attention. Chan looks at you worried as he watched you rush to the sink. It kills him how he can't just run over to you and care for your wound just because people might find out.

"I'm good guys" you say but it doesn't help lighten chan's heart.

Felix notices his uneasiness and taps him on the back. "She's okay bro relax" he doesn't pay much attention to that as he watches a staff wrap your finger with a bandaid.

After you get back you grab a new knife and new cucumber as chan stares at you still uneasy.

"I'm okay chan" you smile at him and he feels a little more relieved when you say it directly to him, maybe it's your smile that comforts him. But he still wishes he had been the one to help you.

You continue to shoot the video as chan takes over the cutting duty and puts you in egg boiling duty. Which you rolled your eyes at. He's so protective, as if you couldn't burn yourself with hot water.

After you're done with the shooting, chan approaches you.

"Let me see your hand" he grabs your hand not even letting you choose whether or not he can see your hand. But you let him cause he's just trying to be caring.

"Are you okay?" It's a question he keeps asking you and you don't know if you wanna answer him again.

"I'm fine chan, now let go of my hand before someone sees us." He doesn't take heed to your words and continues to examine your finger touching I lightly which you find comforting.

"You don't look fine. Want me to give you a hug?" He says slowly moving into you. If no one has noticed the two of you someone's gonna notice now. You try and push him away giggling at his words, you really don't want your cover blown but chan doesn't seem to care. He doesn't care actually.

"Baby I'm okay" you say a little louder than you expected. You immediately move away from chan and stare at the people now staring at you. If the company hears about this you're screwed.

"I meant chan" you laugh awkwardly.

"It just slipped" you try and assure the people around you. You know they couldn't care less but you'd never know who'd be a snitch.

"I call everyone baby anyways" chan laughs as you try to convince yourself.

It's no use they heard you clearly.

.....

Its been been seven days since your cooking episode with chan and felix aired. And you heard some rumours and theories going around on the Internet.

So you decided to check on the comments yourself.

Chan giving y/n those loving eyes

I want someone to look at me like the way chan's looking at her

If these two aren't dating I'm gonna take y/n

These two gotta be dating look at the way he's looking at her.

I can feel the tension between them

The chemistry between these two.

Kiss already

You didn't realise the tension between you and chan was so obvious. Maybe it's the way you spoke and looked at eachother. And after watching the video for yourself you can definitely see it.

"Our love can't be hidden" chan said when you brought the issue to him. You laughed, he doesn't take this seriously huh?

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 51

part 1 | part 50 | ao3

Knowing the weirdness is coming doesn't make it less weird.

Steve clings to Jeff's warning like a lifeline in the days after the attack, as Eddie swings wildly from withdrawn and paranoid to brash and itching for a fight. One second he's tackling Steve in a public park, sweeping him off his feet and swinging in a wide, reckless circle, the next he's shooting dodgy glances over his shoulder and suggesting they come up with some kind of tapping code when they want to communicate the urge to kiss or hug in public.

His face is a mess for weeks.

He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Hardly wants to look at it — takes to avoiding mirrors and fucking Steve from behind, or turning off all the lights, or hiding his face behind his hair when he gets between Steve’s legs. Plays it off like he’s just being sexy, trying something new, ‘isn’t this exciting?’ But Steve’s pretty sure he just doesn’t want to see the worry in Steve’s eyes when their kisses hurt his face.

So Valentine's Day comes and goes, and Steve doesn't say it; doesn't say 'I love you,' because he's never sure he's going to get the version of Eddie who’s brave enough to say it back. They don't even do anything for the holiday, really, which kind of kills Steve, even if he won't admit it.

He can't help it; he's a sap.

They do share a heart-shaped box of chocolates in Eddie’s bed the day after, though. Led Zeppelin crooning softly from the record player, and Steve plays it off like he only bought them because they were half off, and Eddie gives him a gooey look and pushes him into the pillows. Blows him within an inch of his young life; smiles up at him at the end, lips slick and full and pretty. Steve thinks, maybe they're okay.

They’ll be okay.

Eddie may still be a little off, a little wobbly, but he’s laughing again, he’s silly and animated again, he’s playing guitar and making jokes, and—

And who is Steve to judge how a person, like, processes or whatever? At least Eddie’s not doing any late night demolition.

They’re gonna be just fine.

The last of the sickly yellow bruising slips away from Eddie's eye as the month comes to a close, so Steve decides to risk it. Asks Eddie out. A movie night, a proper date where Steve can pay for the milkshakes and let their thighs brush against each other when the theater lights go down.

And sure, they'll have to pretend it’s just two straight guys hanging out — do their tapping thing and keep a healthy distance, two bros being pals being buds being dudes — and that shit sucks, but it’s better than nothing.

Steve's never had to worry about PDA before. One more thing he won't admit is kind of slowly killing him; rope burn around his heart when he thinks about it too hard.

"What do you say?" he asks Eddie. They’re lounging on his couch, propped on opposite ends with their legs tangled in the middle. "You want to let me take you out to the city?"

Brookhaven isn't exactly the city so much as the closest suburb whose mall didn't get torpedoed by the commies, but there's a theater and some decent diners, and it's far enough away that they shouldn't run into any classmates looking to cause trouble.

Eddie gives him a wary look. “I don’t know,” he hedges, fingers coming up to worry the thin sliver of a scar under his chin.

Steve swallows the hurt. The twine chafing behind his ribs. "It's okay," he starts to say, but Eddie's eyes flare with defiance.

“Actually, fuck it,” he declares, slapping his knees as he stands up. Gets up onto the couch cushion, spreads his feet wide and puts his hands on his hips; Steve’s little metalhead superhero. Steve can't help his grin when Eddie shakes his hair out big and says, "Take me out and woo me, baby!"

—

part 52

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[bogleech]

MY DRAGON QUEST MONSTERS THREAD

Dragon Quest Monsters: The Dark Prince is the first DQM game I've ever gotten to play after admiring the series since childhood. The bad news is that it leaves out exactly the three DQ monsters I love most. The good news is that everything else about it is great. I've been taking regular screenshots as I play and I am going to start adding things about it to this post, so it is going to get long. First of all here are exactly my next three favorite monsters in the franchise, which they fortunately did include, and were all available to me by almost the first area:

"Mad Mollusk" or in other dq games "taileater" is great because it has a sad flabby slug face at one end and a fanged leech mouth at the other end. When it uses magic, it reveals giant eyeballs in its antennae somehow?! Love how big the "carnivorous" mouth gets in the attack animation. What a stretchy guy!

"Lunatick" is just called "meda" (eye) in Japanese, I'm glad they decided it was like a parasite thing in the localization.

Finally there's DROHL, a classic DQ enemy that looks like...well I'm not gonna say what it really looks like but I think it's a cool little freak unrelated to that and I think it talks exactly like Droopy dog. Oddly it's known as a "Drohl DRONE," and I believe there are other "castes" in other DQ games, but only the "drones" are in this one sadly. I've yet to find this in the wild; I got it through the breeding system!

....Which is by far the most addicting thing about this game. The actual gameplay is good solid turn based RPG stuff, if a bit basic, but every monster can be bred with another monster to unlock a slew of other species. This is one of the first games in which they actually call it a "fusion" system now, I guess dropping the word "breed" from the English localization, but all other in-game dialog still calls these the 'parents' and 'offspring' and even makes jokes that they're getting married, so yeah, it's still breeding. What happens when you breed a slime with someone's dead grandpa??

.....There are multiple monsters you can get from that, but one of them, and the one that makes the most sense, is Slimeshroom! This is a new DQ slime that's some fungus! What's also fun is that every monster has up to three skills, and each skill actually unlocks a ton of spells, attacks, boosts and effects as you spend skill points on them. Then when you breed two monsters, you can give the baby any three skills from the parents. Any at all! I used this to make my Slimeshroom both a healer and a fire mage in the early game. This catches you up with the same progress I talked about when I first got the game almost two months ago so here's some things that have happened since:

I bred a flying cat and a vampire chinchilla to get a.....sexy bat??

I helped a fat rat - that's the name of his species - rescue his son

I bred a people ghost with a lamp ghost to get a bag of dirt!

I fought this bastard giraffe man who called an elderly wizard a "naughty boy" and put him in candy jail.

"Duffer" from the Giraffe quest is also best friends with Eileen the eye demon, and when you rescue him, they become your loyal subjects! BAD NEWS: this entire game is actually a prequel to Dragon Quest 4, and the player character of this game is the villain of Dragon Quest 4. Duffer and Eileen are also in Dragon Quest 4. They die :( .......Maybe this game gives you a chance to fix that future??? I don't know.