#just don't let Jack be the only selfless one

[joeythefrog]

Race gives up food for other newsies constantly to the point where he was on a totally not date with Spot and they got bread, which as soon as he ate he instantly voimited up, then after continued to vomit bile because his body had so little food that his stomach had started to eat itself and to survive the acids that were supposed to break down food that were instead breaking down his stomach needed to be out of him before he actually died.

Plus bonus distressed Spot playing with his hair and patting his back as Race vomits into the brooklyn river and very confused comforting attempts because he has no clue what's happening but Race is vomiting and crying

[yuujispinkhair]

Rough Mission -> Rough Sex

You always offer Yuuji comfort with your hugs, your kisses, and your words of reassurance. But on the nights when he comes home covered in blood and with that strange look in his eyes, you know that there is only one thing that helps him feel ok again: Sex. And not the sweet love-making kind, but the feral, rough-fucking kind, where Yuuji can let all his pain and anger out.

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (female) Genre: smut Word Count: 1k Warnings: 18+, smut, rough sex, creampie, squirting, biting. Yuuji and reader are in a loving relationship and everything happens with reader's consent. All characters are of age. Divider by @/cafekitsune

The first time it happens, Yuuji tries to flee from you, walking past you with that haunted look on his face, and disappearing in the bathroom, where you find him a minute later, slumped against the wall, breathing harshly, with his eyes pressed shut, and his pants pushed down, his fat throbbing cock in his hand, jacking off furiously in a desperate attempt to get his mind off the horrible mission.

"Yuuji, what are you doing? Why are you here all alone? Let me..."

Golden eyes fly open and stare at you with a mix of pain and despair and something else. A feral glint you have never seen in Yuuji's eyes before. Even his voice sounds different, a low, barely restrained growl,

"Please, stay away... I don't think I can hold back when I'm in this state. Please, baby."

And you realize what the problem is. Oh, sweet Yuuji. Such a hero. So caring and selfless to a fault. He's scared to touch you because he's scared of his own strength. Scared to be too rough with you now that he's losing control.

But you're having none of it. You don't run. You walk over to the boy you love. You tilt your head to look up at him and cup his cheek tenderly while your other hand wraps around his rock-hard cock and pumps it in your fist, milking fat globs of pre-cum out of Yuuji's swollen, dark-pink tip as you tell him,

"I love you, baby. Just fuck all your troubles into me. I promise you it's ok. Please don't hold back."

And Yuuji growls. He really growls, and you know his resolve is slipping.

He fucks you hard on the bathroom floor, rutting into you like an animal in heat, growling and sobbing while he presses you down with his heavy body, taking you over and over again until he has fucked it all out, has fucked all his pain and anger into your spasming cunt.

After that night, he doesn't try to run from you anymore. He comes to you eagerly, seeking the comfort of your body. Seeking the sweet relief he can find in your arms and in your tight pussy.

The moment Yuuji walks into your apartment, you can already see when a mission was a rough one. His golden eyes are on you with that feral glint in them, his broad chest heaving, and his hands balled into fists as he strides toward you like a tiger on the prowl. So strong, so buff, so deadly. You are so wet for him that you don't just soak your panties but also your pajama shorts.

"Come here, Yuu. Fuck me, baby. Be as rough as you need."

He is on you in a split second, growling in the back of his throat as he presses his lips against yours in a fierce, desperate kiss. You still gasp anytime Yuuji lets you get a taste of his superhuman strength and speed. When he rips your clothes off, tearing at them with his strong hands in his urgent need to get you naked and sink his needy cock into your tight cunt and fuck all his anger into you.

His clothes follow a moment later, dropping to the floor in ripped pieces, exposing Yuuji's tall, buff body to you. His buff muscles are flexed, veins standing out from all the adrenaline still pumping through his body. He looks even bigger than usual, so strong, so feral, so fucking sexy.

You moan as Yuuji manhandles you, his large, strong hands flipping you onto your stomach and pushing your head down. A hard slap lands on your ass, and you hear Yuuji growl, followed by a hoarse,

"Fuck! I need you, baby, need to fuck you hard. Please... can I please?"

His fat cock is leaking pre-cum all over your ass in his need to fuck you. He wouldn't even have to ask. You will always give him anything he needs. You push yourself on your knees, ass up, face down, Yuuji's favorite position, offering yourself to him, moaning his name, and telling him to take you as hard as he needs.

And he does.

The growled "Thank you" has barely left Yuuji's lips when he already slams his thick needy cock deep into your soaked cunt with a brutal snap of his hips that makes both of you cry out loudly. Yuuji apologizes even while he grabs your hips and pulls you toward him, rolling his hips against you, fucking you open with hard, deep thrusts that knock the air out of you.

And from now on, it's rough fucking in the most primal way. The headboard is hitting the wall loudly with every hard snap of Yuuji's hips. His grunts and sobs fill the room, just like the wet noises of his fat cock pistoning in and out of your creamy cunt.

It's rough, it's loud, it's messy. Yuuji doesn't hold back anymore, and neither do you. You cream all over his cock several times, shameless and eager, unable to stop yourself from squirting when his swollen cockhead overstimulates your g-spot and the rough slaps of Yuuji's heavy balls against your swollen clit make you keen.

And he cums in you over and over again, not even pulling out in between, cock staying hard all the time because of his insane stamina, fucking you rough into the mattress while his large hands hold you in place and your name falls from his lips like a prayer.

You are both in a frenzy. Both like two animals in heat. Chasing one orgasm after the next.

You push yourself up, reaching frantically behind you to grab Yuuji's hair and moan his name with a voice hoarse from all the loud moaning and squealing, growling just like him as you give yourself over to the most primal need, screaming his name when he rams his fat, angry cock even deeper into you.

Yuuji's muscular arms wrap around you, his large, calloused hands kneading your tits roughly while he fucks you hard. And you urge him on, so eager to make him nut again, to make him forget anything else but the feeling of cumming in you and pulsing his hot seed into your tight cunt.

"Yes, baby, like that, oh god! Fuck me harder, Yuuji! Fuck it all into me, baby!"

Yuuji's teeth close around your shoulder, biting you just like he bites his enemies in the heat of battle. Leaving a mark in the shape of his teeth that you will carry for the rest of your life. He growls and sobs, desperate and horny, even as his hot tears drip down onto your naked body, running down between your tits that jiggle from Yuuji's hard thrusts.

"Fuck! Fuck yes! Thank you, baby, thank... fuck!! Gonna cum again!"

You feel him throb in you, filling you with another thick load of his hot cum, and you follow him a second later. Your cunt clenches wildly around Yuuji's fat, veiny cock, gushing over him and spraying your squirt all over the bed.

You mewl weakly as Yuuji finally slumps against you, his firm pecs and abs pressing against your sweaty skin, his strong arms wrapping tightly around you, this time in a loving embrace. His tall, muscular body embraces you, and his warm lips are on your neck, trailing tender kisses over the fresh bite mark he left, offering his love and care to you now that he feels better.

And you kiss him sweetly, moaning at the feeling of your cunt pulsing around Yuuji's gradually softening cock. There's a tender smile on Yuuji's face when he tells you he loves you. And you caress his hair and tell him you'll always be there for him. Any way he needs you. It's ok. Rough mission, rough sex.

FERAL YUUJI DRIVES ME FERAL TOO 💗💗 I love seeing him fight and get angry, but it also makes me yearn so much for him and want to comfort him. So yeah, he could get anything he needs, anytime he needs and as often as he needs it. I am so in love aaahh 💗

I hope you liked this horny little story about comforting Yuuji with sex ;) Please let me know what you think and scream with me about our fave hero!!

Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[islayhawkin]

Let me help you

Newt x f!reader

Summery: you're both in love with eachother and newt pays you a visit in the med hut so you can take care of his limp.

Pining teenagers/feelings/slight hurt/comfort/ pure fluff

Trigger warning: mentions of injury and suicide attempt

part 2

The light was getting darker outside the med-hut and you could see the boys return to their sleeping bags as you pulled out a lighter and lit the candle on the table. Every day was like this. You'd take the afternoon shift in the med-hut, you'd have no work to do when it got dark, then you'd do some reading and wait for newt to pick you up. Somehow this routine developed over time. Newt had to do his evening round to check if everything was normal and safe to go to bed. The two of you weren't dating, though the others teased newt constantly about it. And if he would be honest he wished it would be true.

Ever since you came up he couldn't help but adore you. It was about a few weeks after his suicidal attempt. He still had his improvised prop around his leg and crutches to move around. His thoughts had been eating him up from the inside.

And there you were. Of course there was a big ruckus about you being a girl but after a while they all realised how much they needed you in their group. Between the boys there was rarely a gentle touch or loving words. You brought a bit more love, bit more home into their midst. And newt was probably the one most needing of it at that moment. You became a med jack and every boy tried to come up with various reasons to need to be taken care of by you.

Newt obviously didn't need to find a reason. You were the one searching him out. Looking after his leg every other day. Doing what you could to ease his pain even thought he was always terribly embarrassed of needing help. But he loved those moments. It gave him hope. He felt comfort, he felt loved and cared for just for a moment and he chased that feeling ever since. At first he didn't understand what this feeling in his chest was when he saw you laugh, or look at him, crinkle your nose...literally anything you did. He was just a kid after all.

But now he wasn't anymore and he could tell exactly what he was feeling.

Newt walked into the doorway of the med-hut and leaned against the doorframe. Deliberately released the pressure of his bad leg and leaned on his good leg only.

You looked up from your book and gave him a smile. You noticed that his hair was a bit wet and because of this a bit darker than usual. "Hey. You finished?"

"Yeah." He gave you one of his sweet cheeky smiles.

You scanned his form as you noticed his stance against the doorframe. A small frown building on your face. "Is your leg acting up?" You asked softly.

Newt looked down at himself. "Uh I suppose that bloody thing is giving me a hard time right now. But it's alright. No need to worry." He dismissed.

"Is that why you're here?"

"Wha- no I was just gettin' you. I don't need anything..." He broke your gaze suddenly very interested in the wooden floor.

You gave him a look and stood up. "I'm gonna help you wether you want it or not. We can do it here or in bed if we're going anyways."

He sighed as a slight blush crept up his cheeks. "No that's really not nec-"

"It is newt. I know you want it too. You're just too..." you gestured at him. "Selfless to ask for help. Has always been the same with you..." you shook your head slightly. "Just sit down please." You pointed to the nearest bed.

He dramatically sighed and limped over to it to sit down. "How long have you been walking around like this?" You asked softly.

"Week or so." He muttered meakly.

You gave him a incredilous look. "Newt! I told you to come. Bloody shank." You scolded him in a loving way.

He looked down in his lap again. "Sorry. It wasn't that bad..."

"Yeah you could've gone a bit more until you literally collapse like last time. I don't know what you're punishing yourself for but I'm not allowing it again."

"I'm not-" he sighed and looked up. His deep brown eyes scanning your face. "Okay."

The side of your mouth quirked into a smile. "Good."

You lit the little stove with the flame of the candle and set a pot of water on to heat up. Clint and jeff had improvised a heat pad and filled a waterproof bag with hot water a while back. It worked surprisingly well. You always used it for your period days.

Meanwhile newt layed down on the bed. His leg dangled from the side and his arms rested lazily behind his head. That's when you realised his damp hair again. "Why's you're hair wet?" You pointed out.

He grabbed a strand to inspect it. "Showered."

You hummed in acknowledgement.

"I need to show the greenie around tommorow." You could hear that he was tired. His accent was getting thicker.

"Why you? Alby's in charge of that." You raised your brows.

"Yeah but apperently he's gone nuts the last few days and minho told me to do it because I'm a warmer welcome. I need to do every bloody thing around here. These shanks can't do anythin' on their own." He muttered.

"True. They'd be in chaos without you to keep them in line. Honestly a lot of them have anger issues I'm telling you."

Newt snickered.

"You wanna walk around with that greenie all day? I can ask fry. Or minho for that matter. He owes me a favour anyways."

Newt puffed some air out. "S'alright." His head turned. "Wait he owes you? For what?"

You supressed a smirk. "You don't wanna know."

Now newt wasn't able to stop his thoughts from running wild of possibilities what you did for minho.

You filled the heat bag up with hot water from the pot and closed it securely. Then you made your way over to him again and sat down on the bed. You lifted his limp up slightly and as he noticed your intention he moved it over your legs so you had a good acess to it. You softly pushed the trouser leg up above his knee that you could see his naked leg. His leg was skinny and pale as the rest of him. It had hair on it but not long and they were blonde so you couldn't really see it.

Not that you were thinking about such things in this moment.

Newt didn't really think about his body. Other then the hate he felt for that bloody limp he didn't care about such things. They were stuck in the middle of a maze with old clothes that they had to wear everyday. Those things weren't important to anybody in the glade.

But when you were looking at his bare leg he always was nervous. His eyes watched you closely from the position he was laying in. You could feel his eyes on you but it wasn't unpleasent.

You took the heat pad and layed it on his knee, making warmth spread through his leg. It eased the throbbing in his leg as his muscels relaxed. You both stayed like this for a moment. Your hand surrounding his knee with the heating pad. Silence filled the hut but it was comfortable. After a few moments you removed the pad again and layed it to the side. "Feels good right?"

"Yeah..." He whispered.

You placed you hands onto his warm knee now instead. "You tell me if something hurts. No refrain."

He hummed contently and nodded slightly.

As you started to massage the area around his knee gently you watched his face very closely for any discomfort. He let out a sigh with a small unwilling sound making it's way out of his throat. The blood rushed into his cheeks and his eyes snapped to yours to look at your reaction. "Sorry I didn't mean to..."

"Sorry for what? Enjoy to get your pain eased?" You gave him a comforting smile.

"Yeah." He mumbled. Relieved at your reaction he tried to let himself relax again and slow his heartbeat a bit.

You stroked and pressed over his calf and stretched his leg softly. Bending his knee and stretching the fascia. Every move of you made was tender and deliberate. Made with care.

Newt loved the feeling of your hands on his leg. It felt heavenly and he never wanted you to remove your hands from him again. This continued for minutes in silence. Only small breaths that escaped his mouth were heard in the room. When you hit a particular spot he let out a "ow."

"Sorry. In what way did this hurt?" You asked softly.

"Uh in my knee."

"Alright. Sorry."

"Didn't hurt much..." he trailed off as you put your soft hand onto his knee and caressed it with your thumb as if to soothe it. The warmth spread through his leg again. Now because of your hand He blinked and swallowed hastily. You didn't move your hand, just let it rest on him. His heartbeat increased slightly aa he took deep breaths. For some reason there were tears behind his eyes.

"Does it feel better now?" You looked up at him with soft eyes.

"Great." He breathed out. Still a bit out of it.

You removed your hand reluctantly and pulled the leg of his trousers down again. You gave his leg a little pet and stood up from the bed. He rolled himself up to a sitting position again and watched how you extinguished the flame of the stove.

"I need to sleep otherwise the alarm won't be able to wake me." He jawned.

You chuckled. "Now then let's get you snuggled up." You ruffled his hair playfully and he gave a small protest. You picked the lit candle from the table with the other hand. The two of you made your way outside and newt secured the lock on the door of the med-hut.

You strolled side by side over the field to the homestead in the light of the candle and your arms were brushing against one another to seek the others presence.

"You know, your accents gets a lot thicker when you're tired or drunk. Drunk is so bad sometimes I can't even understand you." You noted as you looked up at him. The soft light of the candle flickered over his soft features and enlighting his hair in a golden hue.

A smile appeared on his face though he was a bit embarrassed about your comment as he didn't meet your eye. "Really? I didn't know that. Sorry I guess. You'll have to remind me when I'm drunk so I'll speak more clearly."

"Oh you're just speaking nonsense anyways when you're drunk." You nudged him with your shoulder and he laughed.

"You really don't understand me sometimes?" He asked still perplexed about these news.

"Rarely. But it happens sometimes yes. If you're talking fast. Or as I said when you're tired or drunk."

"Oh that's- didn't know it was that noticeable. Can't really do anything about it. I'm not aware that I do it." He shrugged sheepishly. You could clearly hear his awareness of it now and how he tried to speak more clearly without a accent.

"I wouldn't want you to change it. I like it." You grinned.

He looked down to you stunned. He'd never thought someone would like that about him. And the way you said it so nonchalant perplexed him. "You like it?" His voice was slightly higher than normal.

"Yeah sure. It sounds...nice to listen to." You looked ahead.

His cheeks bore a taint of red again. "I er- thank you. I never thought of it like that." You liked his accent. His voice. You liked to listen to him. Newt felt a tingling sensasion in his belly.

He opened and held the homestead door open for you. You made your way inside and up the steps to your room. You had a own as the only girl and alby and newt insisted on it for your safety. You didn't always use it as you enjoyed sleeping outside with the others too.

Newt and alby had a room together next to you as the leader and second in command. So you stopped in front of your respektive doors. "Night newt. See you tommorow."

"Good night Y/N. Sleep well."

You smiled at eachother before entering your rooms. You had a smile on your face as you tucked yourself into bed and thought of newt doing the same on the other side of the wall. Newt layed down in his bed too with a grin on his face. Alby gave him a knowing look but didn't comment on it. His limp long forgotten and the pain eased for a moment as the warmth spread throught his form. For this evening he felt at home.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hmm I wonder if Crowley and the school staff, Riddle, Dence, Ruggie, Azul, Jamil, Epel, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Sliver and Sebek found out that some certain people skipped the school and went to the amusement park? Also how would they react?

I’d imagine they'd mostly have the pretty normal and expected initial reaction of being shocked that the others snuck out on a school night to a sketchy theme park and managed to come back from a human trafficking operation in one piece. To give a little more detail to each:

Riddle would collar Trey, Cater, and Ace, then lecture them for breaking various school rules, putting themselves in danger, disobeying his command to not sneak out and skip school, etc. He especially lays into the seniors for "not setting a proper example" for the Heartslabyul students.

Deuce awkwardly stands off to the side and watches as they get berated, occasionally nodding and going, "That's right!" in response to their dorm leader. (Ace gets annoyed and tells Deuce off, probably saying something like, "Don't act like YOU weren't interested in going earlier, dummy!")

Ruggie wails about how he would've enjoyed hanging out at a place that offers free everything. He makes jokes to cope with the situation, like poking fun at how the "straight-laced" Jack has a rebellious streak and how Leona's soooo responsible and selfless for chasing after his juniors. Ruggie also jokes about how he's glad his walking wallet "best" employer Leona-san made it back safely... and hey, he wouldn't have happened to have brought back a souvenir for his ever-so loyal hench-hyena, would he?

Azul tries to present as cool and uncaring to the twins; he tells them that if they fucked up and lost their autonomy because of their poor decisions and giving into their curiosity... well, that's their bad and they deserve the consequences of their actions. Jade and Floyd pal around with him, draping themselves over his shoulders and teasing him about how "It's okaaay, just admit that you missed us, admit that you were worried!" Deep down, Azul really was (but he'll never say that out loud and let the twins have an upper hand over him).

Jamil has a fucking heart attack knowing just how close he was to a dead and/or missing Kalim. Not because he cares or anything, but because his own ass would be grass if anything happened to Kalim. Jamil looks him over like five times to make sure not a hair on his head is harmed (all while Kalim is laughing, reassuring Jamil that he's fine, and telling him stories about all the fun times he had at Playful Land). When Kalim starts to suggest inviting Fellow and Gidel to their next banquet, Jamil silences him with a firm, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"

Rook waxes poetic about how he's so relieved that their beautiful Vil has returned to them. He'll faithfully fetch Vil whatever he needs to rest and recover from such a heart-pounding adventure!

Epel grumbles about how he wishes he could have gone too ("'N shown those puppets what fer!!"), only to get bonked and told off by his dorm leader. (Ace will tell him stories later, which makes Epel super envious.)

Idia tells Ortho that "touching grass" does them no good, it only brings misery and suffering like what he went through at Playful Land! The worry dies down and is replaced with keen interest the more Ortho tells him about the island's operations. They have a jammer that prevented Ortho's normal functions from working? Idia takes it as a personal challenge--who do they think they are, trying to trump this genius inventor? He'll show them what he's made of by powering up his little brother!

Sebek loudly insists they need to go and dismantle the shadowy organization responsible for attempting something so foolish as to entrap and sell THE Lilia Vanrouge off! Who do they think they are?! Man's absolutely appalled and enraged but also choking back tears at what he perceives is Lilia's nobility, so willing to throw himself into the heat of battle to save others!! Sebek tells Ace he should be "grateful" that Lilia saw it fit to save "such a pathetic lot of humans" from absolute destruction.

Silver frets over his father, but he's ultimately proud of him for acting the role of a reliable senpai and looking out for his underclassmen. (This is the reason he assumes for Lilia going to the shady park.) And, of course, he's glad to have his father back home with him. He insists on looking after him the day of his return, saying that Lilia has gone through a lot lately--and as the triumphant hero, he deserves to relax!

Malleus isn't worried about Lilia (he knows that Lilia can handle himself just fine) so much as he's disappointed that he wasn't invited to go along. He's curious about all that Lilia experienced in Playful Land and listens to his tales with wide eyes. Malleus is not really paying attention to the dangers present (after all, he is confident he could blow it all away if it dares to encroach on his autonomy). Lilia laughs and says they should take a trip to another amusement park sometime.

The staff would be collectively sad that their students would act out like they have. This is especially true of Trein, who is more disappointed than mad. He chastises the boys in a way that makes you feel bad for making like... a grandfather upset. He wonders if he has somehow mentored his students incorrectly or instilled the wrong values in them.

Crewel expresses his disappointment in a different way. He's harsher with his students: "Since you bad boys thought it fit to skip Crewel-sama's lecture, you must have already mastered the materials. Pencils out for a pop quiz!" That's his tough love out on full display, stemming from the desire to ensure that his students can survive on their own out there in the cruel wide world.

Vargas tries to not linger on the negative feelings for too long. He'll encourage the boys to get back on their feet and moving. Movement means more blood circulation, and less of a reminder of the stiff puppets the kids almost turned out to be. Vargas never vocalizes his intentions for fear that him having a negative outlook might influence his students. So instead, he wears a grin and belts out a hearty laugh to keep their spirits high.

Sam will listen to his customers' woes, just as any good shopkeep would! There's a lot of useful information to pick apart from the people who drift in. A strange business like Playful Land? It piques Sam's interest in the mysterious and the unknown--he's delighted with such fantastical tales, and invites his customers to tell more. Sam's always here to lend an ear! And hey, if you get thirsty from all the gabbing, why not buy a drink from the Mystery Shop since you're already there? :)

Crowley wipes his brow and sighs in relief... What could have been a massive PR nightmare was just narrowly avoided!! (He still crows at the students that snuck off though, since he's suuuuuch a caring instructor that deeply cares about their education!!)

[imagine--if]

hii i saw that requests for alice in borderland were open and i rann 🏃🏻‍♀️

could you do a scenario where chishiya and banda have a crush/interested in the same s/o?? how tense would that be, especially in the solitary confinement game?? 👀👀👀

A/N: Oooo this is an awesome scenario idea, thanks for your request!! I'm still open for AIB requests until the 15th, so if you're interested then send some in!! A particular ask has caught my attention for after this... jealous Chishiya 😵😍 Little obvious disclaimer that the GIFs aren't mine- but look at Chishiya's, he's staring RiGhT aT uSsS 😭

Chishiya and Banda Both Crushing On You Includes...

💛• How'd you even manage to get the attention of both these guys?!??! I'm jealous 🥲 because the way these two fall for someone, combined, is basically the most intense and warm and crazy hot experience you'll have in quite a while. Let's say that this all starts in the Jack of Hearts game:

💛• With Chishiya, he's drawn to the little, unnoticeable things that interest him, like being a lot smarter than you look, or making a good decision that surprises, or even outwits him somewhat. There's not much of that in the borderlands, apart from Arisu's selflessness that absolutely confuses him until he starts admiring it, and the deadliness of the games, everyone looks like they're going to die. Except you. So he'll most likely start following you around - very subtly - observing your way of doing things and interacting with other players, until he properly approaches you. Probably asking you for his symbol on his collar, and asks you if you want yours. If you turn him down but give him his or something, he'll actually be taken aback... in a good way, because now he's obsessed with wanting to know how your mind works. So, basically, you've got yourself a new partner.

💛• With Banda, however, subtly and patience are not his things. All it takes is one minute of eye contact, or hearing something a little psycho come from you, anything that's potentially original and beautiful to him, and suddenly he's right in front of you with that dark smirk, giving you a twisted but flattering compliment. That's it. Now you've got a new protector who grows oddly possessive and obsessive over the first few rounds, pulling you back when you think about joining the others' big group. You don't need them. You've got him.

💛• So when the two ultimately end up bumping into each other when they both go to talk to you or something, there's just a moment of stretched, painfully strong silence as Banda eyes up this new 'distraction' to your attention, and Chishiya takes him in with that annoyingly indifferent, and kind of smug, look, before his brown eyes meet yours. Banda looks in your direction too. No pressure 😅

💛• I mean, Chishiya tolerates pretty much everyone, but Banda lurking around and infecting your brain with his sadistic ideas of entertainment and advice on how to win every game like he has, is something he's apprehensive of. He'll see how you react to it at first before jumping in, but overall, Chishiya thinks you're the first truly curious and inspiring person that's caught his attention in the Borderlands, and that's something he doesn't want to let slip as soon as he's found it.

💛• Banda has little to no empathy or care for anyone except what you're happy and unhappy with, so he's gonna be pretty forward with Chishiya and give him one of his hushed, intimidating, close-up threats to move along and find someone else to play with. When Chishiya retorts smugly with a comment about how the last women he hung around with suddenly made it onto the murder section of the newspapers, he'll get a deathly glare in his eyes, and basically the only thing stopping him from snapping at that moment is the rule of the game being that you can't outrightly hurt anyone.

💛• They let it go for now, but neither one of them is put off from hanging around with you. The rest of the players in the big group find it odd how you're just sitting there at a table, and within a few moments, Chishiya comes striding in offering his snack with you, sitting beside you on the table, all the while Banda's unblinking gaze is fixed on you from the other side of the cafeteria, where he sits on the floor against the wall. The Jack probably notices it too, but doesn't say anything, since no one really wants to see Banda Sunato get angry.

💛• Once the game has gone on and it's over, Banda has some 'business' to attend to with Jack, and probably makes you wear a tracker or something so he knows how to come and find you when he's done and figuring out how he can have more, or all, control over the lands. Cocky psycho even tries to kiss you goodbye too, and whether you let him go for it and leave you flustered after an intense few moments, or push him away gently with a blush is your choice. Either way, he'll still respond with one of his smirks and a wink before he causally pulls out his pocket weapon and goes into one of the cells after Jack.

💛• That just leaves you with Chishiya, who Banda has 'trusted' to keep you safe while he's gone. Since Chishiya figured it all out with him and survived the round in a pretty impressive way, Banda doesn't misjudge his intelligence and capabilites, even though he seems a little too relaxed when entering these life-or-death games. Still, you'll end up leaving with Chishiya wandering by your side and making small talk about who you are as a person as you go for the next game, or to meet his gang from the Beach, like Arisu. He's surprisingly talkative in his own way as he uncovers more about you and listens to every word you say, but when the questions are reflected back at him, the answers are simple and short - at first, anyway. It's not all because he's reclusive, but mostly because he didn't really like his life, or have much of one, in his opinion, before the Borderlands. But now, maybe he does. Intelligent and nice to look at. He'll stick around for sure 😉

💛• Elsewhere, Banda basically pulls up every file and piece of information on you instead of outrightly asking. It's safe to say that he's an obsessive and possessive crusher/lover, and he'll make that known once he's sorted things out and comes to find you again. And he will come and find you again 😏

[ssaahthings]

I aimed to help you, in return you helped me too. (Reciprocity)

Sometimes you noticed when things were off with Hotch, it seemed like a glitch in his armor. Specifically moments when you would hand him his coffee if it was out of reach, as he would move around any table the team was working at; walking and thinking. Your fingers would brush and his grip would tighten. It happened when you would squeeze by to step into the elevator at the office in Quantico, arms brush by, and he would freeze. It was never a noticeable thing, if anything it was only retrospectively apparent in those moments.

When it became clear to you, that he was likely touch starved, was when you needed to hold on to his arm to balance yourself because you had a rock stuck in your shoe; you felt his bicep flex under your fingers and heard his breath hitch yet when you casted a glance up at him he was focused on the squad cars parked in front of the crime scene you were needed at, your interest was piqued then.

After that you began noticing he would never partake in the physical camaraderie; Emily would hug and lean on JJ, Morgan would ruffle Reid's hair as he passed the genius and throw an arm around Penelope when she joined them from her office, and Rossi would pat their backs in a paternal manner when he spoke to them. Sure he had Jack, to hug and cuddle with but you deemed it was different with a father-son relationship, he most likely thought he was giving his son what he needed. Aaron Hotchner is selfless like that, one of the reasons you love him as much as you do.

For a while it was all observations and your heightened sense to notice patterns, especially when it was regarding the man himself.

You were already having a bad day today, the team had made a miscalculated judgement based on the competency of the officers in the local precinct, who were also ridiculing you as well as the whole of the team, but because of the past days, past week, past month it hit you harder than the rest of your coworkers. It's not like you don't know you can go to them with your troubles, considering they're also your closest friends, it's just hard to paraphrase it in a way that would make sense. It felt like everyone was going through something this time of year, but with the jobs you all had, there wasn't much else to do but move onward.

So here you were, standing next to Hotch who was holding a piece of gauze to his forehead from where the unsub's submissive partner, the team had failed to profile, struck him from trying to save the offender you were after. Your eyes roamed his face, his arms, his chest cataloging to make sure he wasn't harmed anywhere else. When you heard the paramedic say he didn't need to go into the hospital you sighed in relief and took some of the fresh pieces of bandages that had been placed beside him and offered to take over cleaning and bandaging him up, making sure he was okay.

"Y/N, you know you don't have to do this." You heard Hotch mumble, seemingly far away but still alert enough to be aware of his surroundings, always on guard like that.

You nod and smile softly and you say, "I know, but it's making me feel better to take care of you right now." You finish cleaning off the blood from his face, gently press the ends of the butterfly bandage in place, "There, good as new." You let him know you were done, squeezing his arm for nonverbal punctuation.

You notice again that he tenses and avoids your gaze, "Hotch? Are you okay?"

"Aaron?"

Still no response, you think back to when he got injured and you don't remember his arm being hurt, so then you start to remember all the other times he's tensed up and you remember all the evidence that leads to him being touch starved, you remember the time you had to physically lean on him for support.

But by the time you're ready to do something about it, he's already assigning tasks to the team and then it's back to the hotel. You have to stop by the precinct to wrap up and grab your work and personal belongings when you overhear some officer make a snide comment about you and your team, it puts you on edge and in order not to make things more complicated you keep quiet and leave for the hotel.

You're quiet and they all notice it, they see how your shoulders are tense and that you're not joining in on the conversation, and you fail to hear the others making plans for dinner or to notice how Hotch is acutely observing you, trying to piece together why you're feeling the way you are in that moment.

His room is on the same floor as yours, across from yours even, so when you walk up to your room and just stand there, Hotch is watching you from the doorway of his. He takes a step forward leaving the door open, observing you.

"Y/N?" Aaron spoke softly as to not disturb the quietness of the hallway.

You turned around and looked at him, he seemed to be concerned. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay? You've been off since we got back to P.D." His voice tender, eyes shining under the lights.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine, Hotch. Don't worry about me." You wave him off unconvincingly.

"You sure? Because you could come in and we can order room service for dinner, the others already left. You could consider it making things even for you patching me up." He vaguely gestures to his head.

That amuses you, so you smile and agree, crossing the way into his room, looking it over your eyes fall on the open windows on the opposite side, "You got a really nice view of the city, I just face the nextdoor building." You sigh dramatically, side eyeing him so he knows you're just teasing.

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's a great building." He retorts, "What would you like to eat?" holding the phone and menu card in his hand

"I think we've eaten enough around each other for you to know what my preferences are." You turn to face him, with a brow raised.

He huffs out a laugh and nods your way, afterwards placing your dinner order. It was a timid sense of normalcy, forgetting what the day trailed behind the two of you, your nerves come back so abruptly it it feels like a force knocked a breath out of you, and of course he notices it. He notices you.

"Y/N... I'm here if you want to talk about what happened. I noticed that you seemed a bit shaken up after we came back." He comments while moving to stand before you, the sincerity in his eyes gives you the illusion of making them brighter, and your heart clenches for him in affection.

"It's just... been a tough day, Hotch." You confess, keeping your eyes wide in order to combat the stinging behind them that you know means you'll start crying soon, "at first it was one of those days, you know? The kind that you just go through the motions, but ultimately you're alright in the end. And then I had to deal with those officers, they belittled me so much but I know with this job and being on this team, we have a duty to a sense of professionalism, so I kept my mouth shut, reserved. And then you-" You blinked and a rogue tear escaped, keeping your eyes closed for a moment while you let out a hushed, "I was so scared when I saw you get hit... It was hard to focus because I needed to make sure you were okay but we also had a job to do."

Your eyes begin to sting further with oncoming unshed tears, blinking rapidly to fight the sensation and giving up the fight to falsely show your resolve. With your view downcast you noticed one of Aaron's tells for when he was contemplating something; his thumb would move up and down his index and middle fingers. Up and down two times, switch, up and down two times more. Your mind begins to race, what could the eloquent Aaron Hotchner be contemplating saying or doing in front of, or to you.

Whatever it was you looked up and locked eyes with him, something unspoken passed and all you could do was nod your head minutely. Standing still, allowing him to make the steps to come to you, and to wrap his arms around you. One around your shoulders, and the other around your waist. You laid your head on his shoulder, face tucked between the crisp fabric of his shirt and the soft skin of his jawline. You took a deep breath, and wrapped your arms around him in return. Sliding your palms from his midsection, feeling the muscles ripple in their wake, to then connect your hands together in a lock.

"It's okay to asked to be touched, you know." He startles at the sound of your voice.

"I... It's been a while. Not since..." He trails off, knowing you would understand.

"I know, but it's okay, Aaron."

"How come you're the one comforting me now, I was supposed to be consoling you."

"Well, that's what partners do right? An equal give and take for what's needed," You inquire, "And don't think I didn't notice the subtle topic change, Mister."

"Oh we're partners, now?" He says playfully, giving your side a squeeze in further acknowledgement of what you said.

"Well yeah, I mean..." Trailing off when you feel a soft press of his lips to your temple, "Oh..." You breathe out.

"I was teasing you, Honey." He says with a chuckle. Clearing his throat he begins, "You know, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to feel so much again, for someone, for you. Everyday I see you at the office in the bullpen, or in a precinct when we're away, or if I'm lucky enough to see you sleepy in hotels. Y/N, it feels like a second chance I'm not certain that I deserve."

You move to pull away, so you can look at him in his eyes when you say the words you heard unspoken, but his arms tightened around you, you smiled brightly.

"Aaron, love," You give him a squeeze for emphasis, he viscerally reacts to the term of endearment "I think we all deserve a second chance in life, in love."

After you're able to step back enough to press a kiss to his cheek, right where it meets the corner of his mouth. He gives you the privilege to see his blinding smile.

fyi: it's been a little while since i've written anything like at all but !!! i'm trying my best now to get to writing and post things because it's one of my favorite things to do ❤

this is for: @greg-montgomery @criminalskies @htchnr @ssahotchnerr

[doverstar]

Even 1991's Hook showed that Jack and Peter fell for the allure of Neverland while Maggie never forgot and just wanted to go home. Implying, the way 2003's Peter Pan outright said, girls are much too clever. Disney is stomping all over this story.

Listen to me, Hook is a genius Peter Pan adaptation/reimagining. In so many ways. I know as a film, it apparently had its disappointments, but just speaking as a Peter Pan fan (of the book and the play), whatever Jim Hart/Nick Castle were doing when they were making story decisions for that movie, it worked. I could gush.

I'm going to gush. This is going to be long. If you like Peter Pan, keep reading.

Disney is stomping all over the story with their new movie in so many ways. And Peter Pan 2003 is an almost one-to-one, 108% accurate adaptation of the original book/play, so I'm gonna talk about that in regards to Hook- First of all, yes, the whole Maggie thing is SO smart and SO accurate to how Barrie chose to portray women in general in the original story. All the major female characters have their silly, petty, foolish moments like real women of all ages do, yes, but when Barrie portrays what's naturally good about good women, he knocks it out of the park. Wendy is selfless and compassionate, Tink dies for someone she loves, Mrs. Darling is a graceful nurturer and her husband's rock. Like, when Barrie uses Peter to say "girls are too clever to fall out of their prams", that's not just Peter being manipulative, that's the kind of thing Barrie really thought about females. It's in all of his plays and all of his books. He doesn't ignore women's general faults, but he does love to showcase why it's not good for man to be alone. In the original story, when you're in the Neverland, the longer you stay there, the less you remember of your life on the mainland. John and Michael just totally forget they ever had real parents and start acting like Wendy, who is playing pretend, is their only mother figure. Wendy is realizing she's forgetting real life too, and makes it a nightly thing to tell all the boys the same story - of how they got to Neverland and how they're eventually gonna go back, and why, and how their real mother specifically will always be waiting for them and she has no doubt about that because that's real love. And that's what Hook is about, second of all. Peter forgets who he used to be as a child, and it's actually normal for Peter to forget important things - finite memory in an infinite existence - but this is him forgetting who he is. And that's a big deal because he forgets not only what it was like to be young and what he personally was missing (parents, a family, the gaping hole in his magical life that created a lack of consistent real love), but he forgets what made him as a character the hero of the story. As sword-fighting leader of the Lost Boys, Peter Pan was confident, honorable, and unafraid.

This is who Peter Pan is. He's selfish and arrogant and kind of a butt sometimes (like little boys often are) but the thing that makes him special isn't that he can fly or never age (though those things are cool). The other Lost Boys can fly and don't age, either, in the original story. Peter is a born leader. Peter protects the Lost Boys. Peter doesn't kill a pirate while he's sleeping; he waits for the guy to wake up. Peter won't strike Hook while he's unarmed and tries to help him up onto solid ground in the middle of a fight before continuing the duel because that's the right thing. Peter won't keep a girl in Neverland against her will. Peter lets the kite take Wendy to safety and sits wounded on a rock alone, waiting to die without being scared. Peter Pan is a hero. Peter Banning forgot all of that. Peter Banning doesn't remember what it's like to be young, or to want parents, or to crave real love. He doesn't remember that to die will be an awfully big adventure. He's terrified of death. He's terrified of heights. He's scared of everything. He doesn't protect his kids or care about their interests or watch when they're putting on a play or attend a single baseball game or spend any time with them at all. The one thing Peter Pan had to be forever barred from, Peter Banning got to have - a family - and he forgets what it feels like not to have that and neglects them. So Jack gets to Neverland and is scared (and manipulated by pirates, the thing his great-grandmother before him went through and never fell for), and he's spent his young life craving the attention and affection of his workaholic Peter Banning dad and never gets it, literally watches Peter give up on saving him and Maggie because he's too scared (Peter Pan never gave up) and that hurts, so of course he starts forgetting who he is and where he came from because that's easier and he's his father's son. But Maggie!! is Wendy's great-granddaughter!!! and like the other women in the Peter Pan canon, she doesn't forget for one second who she is or where they came from or what's important, and she knows the pirates are bad and Peter is good, and she knows her family loves her, and she knows her dad loves her, and even though she watched Peter give up too, she begs Jack not to forget and tries actively to remind him of the truth. She rejects the pirate life. She never loses faith. She's just a little kid but she's polite and she's a good girl and she won't do what mommy said not to even in Neverland. Wendy wrote "dirty pig" on the greasy windows of the Jolly Roger because she wasn't scared of pirates and she was disgusted that grown men never took care of business on that ship and it was filthy. Maggie is cut of the same cloth, just much younger on her first trip to Neverland.

LisTEN. There are no girls in the Lost Boys because GIRLS in the Peter Pan canon have something that little boys don't right away, because girls are different from boys. Girls are naturally more in touch with emotions. Girls are often (not always) more mature. They understand things little boys sometimes (not always) don't understand. Girls are sometimes (not always) smarter than boys in certain areas. Girls are much too clever to fall out of their prams, and girls don't forget what's important and that they must grow up someday, and girls - mothers - will always keep the window open for their children. There are no girls in the Lost Boys! DEAL WITH IT. It's OKAY.

Hook is amazing. It takes little details in the margins and paragraphs of Barrie's story and incorporates them in this one zany film. It takes some of the clearest messages and themes in the book and yells it through a megaphone. "Don't forget the great things about being a child! Don't forget what true love is! Don't forget why it's necessary to grow up! Don't forget what's bad about staying a kid forever! Grow up, but keep the childlike faith and the childlike confidence and remember what kids need, and give those things to your own children!"

Hook says this stuff with Tootles. It says it with Rufio. It says it with Jack and with Maggie in two different outcomes. It says it most of all with Peter. 

I LOVE HOOK. I watch it all the time, especially on rainy days. I will die on this hill. Go watch it. It's on HBO Max and you can watch it free right here with no ads you're welcome, and I myself own two copies of it on DVD just in case. 

Thank you for listening and drop me a line with your own thoughts if you have any; I don't want to be rambling in a vacuum XD

[dewofthesearosemarygrey]

Nathan And Elizabeth Vs Jack and Elizabeth

I've noticed a Lot of People saying Not another Mountie, Or that they don't want anyone Replacing Jack, or that Elizabeth Is just Jack projecting again on Nathan. I think there is some merit to that argument but a lot of the worry is Unfounded Lets look at some of the similarities and Differences and Why I think Nathan is a Good choice for Elizabeth and NOT a replacement.

Similarities.

Nathan is a Mountie

Nathan Loves Elizabeth

Nathan makes Elizabeth think deeply

Nathan is friends with Bill

Nathan has a dog

Nathan is not good at speechmaking

Nathan uses intuition

Differences

1.Nathan is Quieter than Jack

2. Nathan Has a daughter figure.

3. Nathan is a mountie by Job rather than Calling and would give it up for Elizabeth. His calling is more to be a family protector figure.

4. Nathan has only a few best friends, but loves and protects them intensely, wheras Jack was more generally friendly.

5. Nathan is a more awkwardly quiet dorky hero , Jack is more confident and bold hero

6. Nathan is more sensitive, Jack is more thick skinned.

7. Nathan is more small detail oriented, Jack is more big-picture.

8. Nathan is much less jealous than Jack he wants Elizabeth to be Happy even if its not with Him whereas Jack was more Annoyed/Angry at Elizabeth's other suitors such as Billy and Charles and Abigail had to tell him outright that he was Jealous and that the best way to Get Elizabeth Back would be to be nicer. "you catch more flies with Honey than Vinegar"!

When we first met Jack he was Bold confident and really annoyed at having to Look after Elizabeth. his relationship with Elizabeth was Hate-to-love dynamic and there was a lot of rough teasing banter and Jealousy.

With Nathan it is a Completely Different situation when he meets Elizabeth it is a shy but friendly meeting, and as we know from season 8 he had chosen by himself to come there to look after Elizabeth, The Exact Opposite of Jacks Situation. His whole goal was to protect her and leave it at that, Until he began slowly to make friends with her and find out what an amazing woman she was. then he didn't want to Love her becuase He felt Guilty about it, but slowly they overcame that and became really close Friends When she Chose Lucas he was the one to Go to Lucas WHY? Because he loved her so much he wanted her Happiness no matter what even Over his Own Happiness, Jack would never have done that for Elizabeth He Loved her a lot But not quite at the cost of his own Dreams, Goals and Happiness. Jack and Elizabeth had a healthy Balenced relationship where both could Express there own personalties and follow there callings, but I think Nathan Loves Elizabeth in a different and more Selfless way than Jack something which would be Amazing to see play out on screen, not to even get started on the mixed Family Dynamic! This difference Is why after saying Not another Mountie in season 6 I changed to Team Nathan in season 7

[madrone33]

So, I've been re-reading the Deltora Quest books for the first time in years because my obsession with them has recently been revived (just finished Valley of the Lost), and man, I don't think I realised before just how, like, absolutely devoted Lief is to getting rid of the Shadow Lord and freeing Deltora. It's especially apparent in the first few books.

The Belt is basically all that matters to him. Not even finding the Heir is more important, honestly the heir is very much secondary to the Belt. They're just the person who will put on and activate the Belt's magic; they are a means to an end. His own life is secondary to the Belt - which isn't to say he's not afraid of dying, he really really is, but when shit gets real and it looks like this is the end, his thoughts almost always go to the Belt. Just like the heir, Lief thinks of himself as a means to an end. (Which is ironic, seeing as how he is the heir.) Lief will make the Belt, and the heir will wear the Belt, but it's the Belt itself that matters most to him. Because it's the Belt that will save them.

'Do not worry about me,' Lief whispered, trying to keep his voice steady and calm. 'Nothing matters but that we seize the gem. If I die in the attempt, it will not be your fault. You must take the Belt from my body and go on alone, as you have wished.'

I must prepare myself for death, Lief thought. But he could only think of the Belt around his waist. If he was killed here, the Belt would lie forgotten with his bones. The gems would never be restored to it. The heir to the throne of Deltora would never be found. The land would remain under the Shadow forever.

'No!' Lief cried. 'Wait!' At this moment of terror, his one thought was for the Belt of Deltora and the topaz fixed to it. If he did nothing to prevent it, this golden eyed giant would surely find the Belt after he was dead, take it from his body- and perhaps give it to Thaegan. Then Deltora would be lost to the Shadow Lord forever. I must throw the Belt over the cliff, he thought desperately. I must make sure that Barda and Jasmine see me do it. Then they will have some chance of finding it again. If only I can delay him until I can do it...

[Literally just died] Lief felt himself pulled to his feet and slung over Barda's shoulder. His head was spinning. He wanted to cry out, 'What of the crown? The opal?' But then he was that the crown was in Barda's hand.

Lief's fingers felt for the clasp of the Belt he wore under his shirt. If necessary, he would unloose it and let it fall into the mud at the bottom of the stream. It would be better for it to lie there than for it to fall into the hands of the Shadow Lord again.

And maybe it didn't really hit me when I first read them 'cause I was approximately A Child, but it's really sinking in now just how bad things have been in Deltora for the last 16 years. When they talk about slavery and fighting arenas and brandings and starvation and executions in the streets. For some reason all these human atrocities are hitting home a lot more than before. It used to be the monsters that seemed the scariest, but now I can see that yes, the monsters are horrifying and traumatising and terrifying, but Lief and Barda and Jasmine continuously choose to keep going, they willingly put themselves through hell, because the Shadow Lord is worse.

Anyway, all this to say, Deltora really couldn't ask for a more selfless and loyal King that Lief. This kid is willing to die so many times over if it means his people are safe.

(The only thing he tends to go off mission for are his friends and family, but even then, I'm thinking of that part in Isle of the Dead where Laughing Jack holds Jasmine hostage and demand the Belt in return. And Lief refuses. Because his people must come first. And he knows Jasmine would never want him to betray their land for her. Like??? So many feels.)

[queermania]

(last reblog made me realize something but i didn't want to add it to the post or in the tags because it's spoilery if you've only seen up to s8)

there are a lot of reasons why cas' confession is so unsatisfying to me but one of the reasons i haven't been able to articulate until now is that it kind of.... undoes everything that preceded it? cas gives voice to the thing we've all been watching play out for twelve years and that should feel like a win, it should feel like relief, because happiness isn't in the having, it's in the just being, it's in the just saying, right? but, in saying it, cas removed the being part of it from everything that happened prior. cas' speech made it feel like we haven't been watching two people who are in queer love and who are very much in a queer relationship.

instead, we've been watching a guy secretly pining for another guy who may or may not have secretly loved him back. and that... is not true to the story i've been watching unfold? that only works if i accept the premise that the writers and the actors and the directors and the crew and the editors weren't actually telling a queer love story to the best of their ability the whole time. and i don't accept that! they were telling the story!! it was on purpose!!!

like, the reason dean's confession-prayer in purgatory is satisfying is because it doesn't undo anything that came before it.

Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me… that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I-- Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know -- I know that it's -- i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just -- it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how -- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And -- and I-I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long -- I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm -- I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. Okay.

this is dean reiterating everything we as an audience already know because we've already seen it (dean wants cas there and he regrets letting him go and there is nothing cas could do that would make dean actually give up on him). if you replace "best friend" with literally anything else that effectively means "romantic partner" this still works. it doesn't change it at all. this is dean and cas. this is destiel. this is the story i've been watching since lazarus rising. maybe even the pilot.

contrast that with 15x18, however:

I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it . . . I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean . . . I love you.

this is a different story. it changes everything. and, like, i think that was supposed to be the point, but unfortunately for me it is one of the reasons it doesn't work. why doesn't cas think he can have dean? is it simply because he thinks dean doesn't want him back?? is it because he thinks dean is straight?? like, the fact that i don't instinctively know the answer to that is a problem, and the reason i don't know the answer is because it doesn't jive with the show i've been watching for fifteen seasons. castiel's confession is the conclusion to a different show's run, one where they were actually queerbaiting the whole time and decided to throw the fans a bone at the very end.

but they weren't queerbaiting. they were writing textually queer characters with textually queer relationships.

and so a speech where cas is confessing to being in love with dean even though he thinks dean's straight doesn't really work at any point in the show's timeline for me.

and a speech where cas is confessing to being in love with dean even though he doesn't think dean loves him back in that way doesn't really work at any point past s12 for me, and even within s12 to be honest.

like, the narrative actively starts to fall apart in 13x01 if you don't take dean and cas being in love/in a relationship as a given, but even episodes like 12x10 and 12x19 imply something was already happening with them.

so. yeah.

[henrysglock]

Now the bitches and babes are going to hate me for this (they already hate me), but I still don't think the 1979 escape plan fell apart because of an outright failing in either Henry or El.

(This post is for people who can be normal about the 1979 escape)

I'm almost inclined to think that the tunnel plan failed because both parties got too close to each other, and they both lacked the wisdom/foresight to see that distance and selfishness are useful in some scenarios.

I've said multiple times now that I don't think there was malicious manipulation going on re: the tunnel plan and Soteria. There's just not evidence to substantiate pursuit of an ulterior goal.

With that in mind, the scene bears quite a bit of resemblance to Jack's escape in Room (2015). If you haven't seen it, the captive mother has her boy play dead to escape and get help when the captor inevitably goes to dispose of the body.

I'm inclined to think that's how 1979 was supposed to go: El escapes by herself out the tunnel, Hawkins PD gets wind of this bizarre child who appeared out of nowhere, and HNL gets blown open.

Hell, that's what happens in 1983. One kid goes missing, another appears. Hopper sniffs Brenner out, only to stumble upon the basement of HNL, upon El's room, no less...about 4 years too late. Hopper was there around 1979. There's a case to be made that things might have gone much the same in 1979 as they did in 1983.

But El was too thoughtful, too selfless, too attached. Henry got too close, behaved in a way that allowed El to become so attached. She refused to let go. He didn't stick to plan, whatever his thought process might have been there (anything from the relief of having Soteria removed to being able to go with El and control the escape/make it more reliable). Neither of them had the wisdom to just stick to the damn plan.

If Henry had been a touch more distant, or El had been a touch more selfish...Hell, it had a fighting chance of working. The guards didn't come until Soteria was removed. El probably would have made it out. The police might have stuck their noses in. We might not have had a story post-1979.

Isn't that a tragic thought? A plan based in kindness and a desire for freedom that devolves into madness due to a lack of wisdom. (And wouldn't it be just like Brenner to prey on the relationship he'd allowed to blossom between the two of them?)

But can you imagine if it had worked? Imagine being Hopper, seeing this abandoned girl with a number stamped into her arm, and digging into HNL thinking it's going to be a one-off sick kid, only to end up wandering down into the basement after-hours and find no less than 16 other children staring back at you. To find a guy who looks suspiciously like the kid who was murdered 20 years ago, in your senior year of high school, staring back at you.

I mean...Jesus Christ. The horror of it all.

[impossiblyfreshdonut]

A collection from memory.

“i’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” - Castiel, s4 ep1

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“you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” - Castiel, s4 ep1

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“dean and i do share a more profound bond… i wasn’t going to mention it.” - Castiel, s6 ep3

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“Castiel? Oh he's, he's not here. You see he has this weakness, he likes you.” - Uriel, s4 ep10

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“I was getting too close to humans in my charge. You.” - Castiel, s4 ep16

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“I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did all of it for you” - Castiel, s5 ep1

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“So what, I'm Thelma, you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” - Dean, s5 ep3

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“Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend.” - Castiel, s6 ep21

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“A part of me always believed you'll come back.” - Dean, s7 ep17

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“When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!” - Naomi, s7 ep21

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“We're family. We need you... I need you.” - Dean, s8 ep17

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“Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks, our time together.” - Castiel, s9 ep3

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“Maybe you could fight the mark for years. Maybe centuries, like Cain did. But you can't fight it forever. And when you turn, and you will turn, Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the only one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there's even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you out of this room.” - Castiel, s10 ep 22

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“Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That's a pretty damn big win.” - Dean, s13 ep6

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“Cas! No, no, no. Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I -- Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know -- I know that it's -- i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just -- it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how -- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And -- And I -- I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long -- I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm -- I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. Okay.” - Dean, s15 ep9

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Castiel – “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

Dean – “What are you talking about, man?”

Castiel – “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

Dean – “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Castiel – “Because it is. I love you.”

Dean – “Don't do this Cas.”

Castiel – “Goodbye, Dean.”

— s15, ep18.

[not-psychotic]

i wanted to reblog, but then i figured i didn't want to take up space in your notes in case this is an astronomically bad take, but. regarding the hannibal liking/disliking bella discourse.

i think one of my favourite aspects of the episodes involving bella is the nuance with which her relationship with hannibal is treated.

on her part, she trusts him and considers him if not a friend then an ally. she likes him enough to be willing to die in front of him, enough to bring him a token of her gratitude.

hannibal feels about her the same way he feels about a lot of people on the show: indifferent, but faintly amused. there's like a distinction between the humans he considers no better than pigs, humans he only deems worthy of his time because he can play with them/enjoy what intellectual stimulation he can get from them (think jack, bedelia, abigail, alana, and yeah, even bella), and finally people like will.

he throws a coin to decide whether he wants to save her or not precisely because he feels so ambivalent. if he had disliked her the same way he did... i don't know, franklin? he probably would have poured himself some wine and just let her pass. i think he betrayed his indifference in throwing the coin, and when it landed on the "right" side, he was acting in a way that would protect him from any judgement, as is his usual.

after all, a doctor is morally obligated to give first aid to anyone in need of it – it's literally in their oath. if questioned about it, he could have defended himself by saying that while he respected bella's freedom, by choosing to die in front of him she had put him in the position to save her.

i think the best part about his manipulative skills is that he always, always covers himself by making it sound as if he were in a corner, forced by circumstances apparently out of his control to act in a certain way. he had to kill tobias, or he would have died. he had to save bella, or he would have betrayed what all doctors stand for. no one can question him, so he acts undetected.

at the same time, i wonder how much bella actually trusted him. she didn't seem too friendly with him, almost as if unnerved by his presence. she knew he was a doctor, knew that he would be obligated to help her, so why choose to die in front of him? she says she didn't want jack to find her, but i'm sure there must have been plenty other ways to go about that without involving hannibal. honestly i'm curious to know if maybe she also wanted to know what hannibal would do.

sorry now, this has become a GIGANTIC ask and i don't even know how i got here. but yeah, that's just my twopence on their dynamic, because it's really interesting and criminally overlooked. anyways. hope you have a good day!

yeah he flips the coin because he doesn’t care to make the choice himself. as to their relationship, we only ever see bella in scenes with jack or with hannibal or both. she wanted to die, she didn’t want jack to find her so her only other option was hannibal. which is extremely sad. saying that hannibal saving her was one of his “nice” “selfless” moments is insane to me. bella wanted to escape and hannibal plunged her right back into the miserable life she tried to escape from, now more trapped than before. and we shouldn’t act like the hippocratic oath is important to hannibal in any way

[destiel-wings]

Listen I love jack I think he's awesome but I still dont feel like jack was an elevated replacement of Crowley cause man did I LOVE Crowley either way I still love jack...but I had a thought imagine if jack storyline didn't existed that castiel was made god Instead...can you imagine the poetic implication of God being in love with Dean Winchester omg like that has just bamboozled my mind...dean Winchester who never takes credit of anything being loved by the absolute supreme??? him being bestowed the absolute validation??? LIKE THAT IS JUST PERFECT....AND LIKE CAS WAS LITER LIKE

cas to anyone else: I will kill you

cas to dean: I'm your huckleberry

God being only soft for one individual yea no bye i want to bury myself rn cause I need this

I absolutely love Crowley too!! I never thought about Jack as a replacement for him, but I see where you're coming from.

The thing about Jack is he brought a whole different dynamic for team free will, narratively speaking. He reshaped all of them, bringing a lot of new story territory. When i first watched s13 I remember that I noticed and loved how much Sam's soft approach towards Jack made me appreciate him once more, reminding me why I love Sam so much. His own storyline had been weaker up until that point, but when he decided to take care of Jack, fighting for him and taking upon himself the responsibility of a child (the way Dean had done for him), that was a huge step for the character. It was growth, and it shed some very much needed good light on Sam and his good empathetic heart.

For Dean, Jack brought an intersting conflicting dynamic. I love the initial opposition that seeing Jack triggered in him, for the way it underlined his grief of losing Cas. I think seeing a character like Dean, who had always been collecting stray kids, and whose main role since he was a child had been that of the caretaker, struggling so much with Jack, was very interesting. Because Jack is a mini Cas. He's Cas's kid. And so, Dean's kid. He's not his brother, or a stray kid that he can befriend providing a parent-like care (like with Claire or Kevin, in a way). Jack is, in every way possible, more like a son. And for that, it gets harder. One gets meaner sometimes, because it's family. And it's not fair, but in the dynamics of the show, in the portrayal of family that we've seen, and that the boys have grown into, it's as real as it gets. And one makes mistakes. Dean certainly made so many mistakes with Jack, and he sometimes went way too far (like when he said Jack wasn't family in the end of s15 and then the show ended and never let him eat his words to Jack - but again, there's a lot of things that the show never let Dean say in the end...), but still, one can't deny that he cared about Jack and that his introduction didn't bring new flesh for Dean's storyline.

I don't need to explain how Jack affected Cas' storyline. It was simply wonderful to see. To witness Cas genuinely develop a father side and learn a different, completely selfless kind of love. All of that love had always been in Cas, but I think Jack brought it to surface even more, and who knows, maybe that's even what helped Cas realize that his feelings for Dean were different, romantic. Because he now had something else that was just as strong, but felt completely different to compare it with.

Ultimately, I think the point is that Jack kind of brought the whole team together even more strongly. He was like glue that kept them together, in a way that felt even more impossibly like family. And that's why i think it's so beautiful, and why his introduction was a great move that gave new life to the show.

With Crowley... they did him dirty. He was such an interesting character but towards the end the writers stopped caring about him and his storyline had become stale. His main feature, his wit, had been turned against him when they had him do a couple of stupid things (the whole storyline with Lucifer), and they just demeaned his character until he killed himself. And while i love that he was the one to do it, and for a good cause, to save our boys, his sacrifice was ultimately rendered useless too since Lucifer didn't even stay trapped but escaped and kept bringing problems.

I think the wiriters got a little bored with the character and didn't really know what to do with it, but they should've given him a refresh instead of killing him. I would've loved a storyline where he became a real part of the team. Imagine team free will being formed by hunters, a nephilim, an angel and a demon? Seeing Crowley become one of the good guys (while still being a demon) might've brought a lot of interesting story territory for them. The constant diffidence. The struggle to constantly prove his loyalty and gain their trust and approval, his relationship with Rowena developing in all this... it would've been fun. I'm thinking it might've been something like Spike's storyline in Buffy's fourth season (for those who are familiar with the show).

OR, imagine if they had him develop on what s8 started, and had him be cured as a demon and become human. Either by his own free will or by force. I'm imagining him somewhat like Endverse Cas, some sort of pariah, maybe hiding away as a hermit with a life crisis, that could've been treated both in a funny way, but also with some real moments of depths. With the Winchesters coming to look for him for his knowledge, seeking help and finding him in a sea of bottles, depressed and purposeless and overwhelmed by feelings, until they gave him something to fight for, a reason to get up, and eventually he might have become part of the team.

That's what I would've done, and I think either solution would've been better than what his character got, but anyway. 😅

I'm not sure i understand how Jack's absence would be linked to Cas being revealed God, since Chuck had already been established as God by the time Jack arrived (are you talking about Godstiel?) but anyway I see your general vision about Cas being God and being in love with Dean and... yes, oh, yes, that definitely would've been something. I'm thinking about Dean's "Cas? Are you God?" and that would've been sweet. Instead we got a different kind of God who was still obsessed with Dean, but unluckily, not in a good way.

But again, every show needs conflict, so we couldn't have it the sweet way. Just like the characters, we were doomed from the start.

Thank you for the message <3

[taumoebaa]

Finished reading the chapter. My lungs feel like rocks rn. My heart is broken. An entire fic populated into my head as I stared at the wall processing the chapter. I will never recover.

There it was—an empty space by her side—the space I was meant to occupy. This space was reserved for me; her shadow, her guard. I needed to reach out to her, needed her next to me, immediately.

I don't even know where to start. As one does with time loop fics, I ponder the ramifications of changing the course of history by saving Liam.

He didn't die, therefore his life thread continues. He didn't die, therefore Sloan is not so wounded and bitter. He didn't die, therefore he developed feelings for Violet and she for him. (let's be real) He didn't die, therefore he and Ridoc were able to become friends in their mutual concern for Violet, and Ridoc is obviously quite happy to be in Liam's proximity. (who wouldn't)

He didn't die, and it changed everything.

He didn't die, and it changed him.

What are the differences between the life he could have had, versus the life Violet stole for him? She straight ripped him out of fate's hands, and how does that impact Liam as a person, though he has no conscious understanding of the act? Does it tie his soul to hers in a way that neither of them realize? Does his blood thrum with some divine need to balance the scales? Does dragon magic require a tit for tat? Is his love real, or is it just an illusion brought on by forces he has no understanding of?

Does it even matter? Can we not just settle into some ravenous urge that he feels to please and care for Violet, and just let it happen? She tried so hard to save her golden boy, twice, and doesn't she deserve a little worship?

Her time loop signet basically makes her a god in my opinion, and I love how you effortlessly write the draw she has, even Jack seems compulsive in his obsession with her. And it feels natural, though no one else understands why they sense her otherworldliness.

Anyways, this was THE BEST chapter I've read in a long time. You remain my favorite Fourth Wing writer. You inspire me.

I had to sit down and re-read this a couple times just to process everything but I'm dying. DYING. Over your take on the chapter.

He didn't die, therefore he developed feelings for Violet and she for him. (let's be real)

This here is so important to me. I needed the reason for Liam catching feelings to be related to her signet. Like all this would've never happened if Violet hadn't grown in some way.

Does it tie his soul to hers in a way that neither of them realize? Does his blood thrum with some divine need to balance the scales? Does dragon magic require a tit for tat? Is his love real, or is it just an illusion brought on by forces he has no understanding of?

On this, I wanted Liam's attaction to her to be incredibly un-divine. The juxtaposition between Vi/Xaden vs Vi/Liam is something I think about a lot. Like. In my mind, Violet and Xaden and bonded in life, in an almost 'fated' way. There's a forced proximity because of Tairn and Sgaeyl. But in this story, the Liam/Vi relationship only exists because Vi has literally fought for his life against all odds. So in a sense, Xaden/Vi exists because of some divine fate, but Liam/Vi exists in spite of fate.

So to hopefully answer your questions, Liam's realisation of his love for Vi is very much a result of the way she's changed because of the time loops. Because she learned to be understanding of secrets and the war, and because she learned to accept a bit of caretaking from him. I need their attraction to be real and romantic in a very un-magical way, forged through Violet's brute force, and existing only in the 0.000001% of alternate timelines.

Do I sound insane? Yes. Probably. This fic is driving me insane.

She tried so hard to save her golden boy, twice, and doesn't she deserve a little worship?

Seriously. And he!! Doesn't even!! Know!! I love a selfless tragedy.

Anyways, this was THE BEST chapter I've read in a long time.

Every time I think a chapter is about to be a flop, it's nice to know that at least one person out there enjoys it!! And this is a bit off-topic, but I can't believe how you slept on your latest Service Dog Johnny chapter, and talked about struggling with his characterisation, only to put out the best communication and care I've read in a smut fic in forever. The way you write dialogue and realism inspires me to step up my game 😤😤

[pyropsychiccollector]

Akari: (❋•‿•❋)*** I don't like this. Yukiko: *huffs* I know. >_< But what can we do? Rinka: *organizing Nagisa's desk area; leaving his lesson plans untouched like he preferred, but otherwise keeping the desk tidy and arranging the parent-teacher conferences for next week, on top of keeping him well-stocked on supplies and maintaining his schedule for the week* ... Akari: (❋•‿•❋)********* Yukiko-chaaan, she's literally a Super Nanny...!!! Yukiko: n___n;;;;;;;; Koro-sensei told her that she's a jack-of-all-trades... Plus, she's pretty much as selfless as Nagisa-kun. I think it's natural she pursued the path of being Nagisa's personal assistant... Akari: ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶ The first day I get some time off from filming, and I'm not allowed to help Nagisa in the classroom!? That's just not fair...! Yukiko: >_<*** I know, Akari-chan, I know... But Rinka-chan IS highly qualified. We should be... happy... for Nagisa-kun's success. ... A-And Rinka-chan's, of course. n___n*** Akari: ≖‿≖*** She seems laser-focused on the desk. I'm going for it. *slinks toward the exit of the faculty lounge* Rinka: *without looking up from her work* Sit back down, Akari. You still have your visitor's badge revoked from the last stunt you pulled. Principal Asano doesn't want another report about you. Akari: (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) HOW!? Are you a psychic or have eyes in the back of your head!? Rinka: You talk too loud. (╬≖_≖) *still moving stuff around on Nagisa's desk methodically and with purpose* Besides, drama class isn't until this afternoon. Even if you wanted to, you'd just distract the kids. (╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖) Akari: ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶ I just wanna play Santa, Rinka!!!!! Principal Asano doesn't HAVE to know...! Rinka: *casually holds up a dart gun, training it on Akari without looking up at her* You sit back down, or I'll help you take a nap, myself. (╬≖_≖) Akari: *sags in defeat* ... You're a butt, y'know that? (╬≖_≖) Rinka: It's exam week. *as if that explains the universe* (╬≖_≖) Yukiko: Um... Principal Asano lets you carry around firearms? n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Rinka: *deadpans* It's exam week. (╬≖_≖) Akari: I'll bet she smuggled that thing in, the phony. (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) Rinka: *casually flashes handler's permit while still diligently working, then repockets it* Principal Asano knows I don't act unless absolutely necessary. Besides. You'd only be out for a few hours. I'm not allowed to use the high quality tranquilizers. I lost the negotiations with the Principal. >___> He's good. Akari: Σ('◉⌓◉’) Yukiko: I'm pretty sure that's always been the case? n___n;;;;;;;;;; The fact he allowed one of his staff to carry a firearm of any kind is a bit...? n___n;;; Rinka: We're E-Class. *as if that explains the universe* Akari: So!? Like anything can be worse than the year we went through...! (╬ಠ益ಠ) Rinka: Sato-kun's mother attempted to make her burn down the campus five months ago. Akari and Yukiko: ......... Rinka: For getting a 98 on a pop quiz. Akari and Yukiko: (⊙▂⊙✖ ) Rinka: Times may change, but some families out there are pretty messed up still. (╬≖_≖) Principal Asano just wants some preventative measures in place. Student safety is HIGH on his priorities. *nod nod* Not to mention Nagisa's. Yukiko: *weakly raises an index finger in objection* ... B-But Nagisa-kun has the Stunner Clap...? n___n;;;;;;;;; Rinka: Yep. Nagisa does. I don't. *files some papers* Akari: ... *grumbles sourly* ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶ Yukiko: ... W-Well, Akari-chan's badge is revoked, but mine should still be functional? n___n;;; Akari: Σ('◉⌓◉’) *staring at Yukiko like she kicked her puppy* Rinka: You walk out that door, you're taking a nap on the floor. (╬≖_≖) Yukiko: But...! Σ('◉⌓◉’) Rinka: It's exam week. *as if that explains the universe* Yukiko: ... *joins Akari in the corner, mushrooms growing out of their heads*