#just had some old feelings/memories stirred up this past week

[xoxoemynn]

In general, I really do try to assume the best in people and give them grace, even if their actions upset me. Because I do know there's no way of knowing everything someone else is going through. And I also know that even if it may feel that way, it's more likely than not that the way a person is acting has nothing to do with me. We're all just making do the best we can with the knowledge and emotional resources that we have available.

Sometimes that bites me in the ass. Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole. Sometimes I end up feeling more hurt later on. Sometimes the other person isn't interested in giving that same grace to me.

And that's okay.

Because I'd still rather hold to the belief that we are generally good people who sometimes unintentionally hurt others because our own loads become too great, or because we didn't fully understand another person's POV, or because we're just human beings and that means we can kind of be dicks at times, than to become the kind of person who views everything that makes me feel bad as an attack, and anyone who makes me feel bad as a Bad Person.

[sofiascripts]

love in recovery!: the unmanliest of pairs ✧˖° ༯

༉‧₊˚. part two to love in recovery ✧˚ · . bakugou cant stop thinking about you, he reflects on your moments together during the last few weeks and decides hes gotta see you! one problem though, schools are out of session for winter break and he has no idea where to find you. thankfully theres midoriya!

✎ wc: 7946

⤑ tw: not proofread, cursing, also i ended up taking the love at first site route with this so it might be ooc bakugou… </3 or maybe its very in character bc ur just that awesome he couldnt help himself really (it gets pretty ooc at the end, i was struggling but i NEEDED it to end that way so his usual demeanor had to disappear for a sec.)

bakugou was in what he believed was a state of despair. his mind, usually consumed with concerns about hero work and his so-called “publicity problems,” had recently become fixated on something entirely different: you.

it all began when bakugou was enlisted to help out during finals week at his old high school. the hero course students were gearing up for a practical exam against pro heroes. he remembered his own practical exams, which were conducted by his old teachers. this time, however, the school decided to mix things up by bringing in younger, fresher heroes. the idea was to inspire the students and give them a chance to work with their idols, pros they don't get to see on a daily basis. additionally, it provided a great opportunity to boost the young pros' hero rankings–

and it was a nice tax break for the agencies involved.

“itll be nice to roam those familiar halls, and visit our old teachers and our classrooms, where our forgotten youth still lingers.” tokoyami remarked, his voice heavy with a wistful undertone. they all exchange uneasy glances before kirishima placed a comforting hand on tokoyamis shoulder and cleared his throat.

“yeah something like that man– heard midoriya talking about a few new heroes joining in,” kirishima added shifting the focus.

“yeah! heard recovery girl finally retired. the new one’s apparently a cutie,” kaminari said leaning back into his seat with a wide grin.

“she is! izukus invited her a couple times when we met up with our old group,” uraraka said, her face lighting up with enthusiasm. “she’s got this really warm, friendly vibe. every time ive worked with her, she’s been so caring and attentive. it’s clear she really loves what she does”

“yep! she’s healed me once! she really knows her stuff–her quirk is impressive, shes also got this reassuring presence that makes you feel better just being around her,” tsuyu added with a smile.

“who cares about that kind of crap?” bakugou grumbled, rolling his eyes. “didnt meet up to talk about some new nurse. what i want to know is what kind of target practice we’re dealing with for the next two weeks."

the group let out a unified sigh as the conversation shifted back to their work. they shared notes from the recent sports festivals and began detailing the students they’d be testing, outlining the quirks and abilities to expect. each pro hero reviewed the information attentively, mentally preparing for the demanding two weeks ahead.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

 on the first day of finals, the six pros entered the building, the familiar halls of u.a. stirring memories of their own time as students. the air was thick with anticipation, a mixture of nerves and nostalgia that tugged at their senses. aizawa met them at the entrance, his usual tired expression softened slightly as he acknowledged his former students with a curt nod.

“you’re cutting it close,”aizawa murmured, gesturing for them to follow him. “the students are already in the testing site, so we need to head there immediately”

“apologies, mr. aizawa," tokoyami added, his tone somber. "i feared glimpsing the shadows of our past selves, the echoes we once cast.” his words left the group staring at him awkwardly.

“he missed the bus,” kirishima clarified with a shake of his head. aizawa nodded, already familiar with tokoyamis, interesting demeanor. there was no time for pleasantries or catching up with their old teachers, as they were already running a bit late. the group moved swiftly through the corridors, their footsteps echoing in the quiet of the school.

as they rounded a corner, they passed by the infirmary. the door was slightly ajar, and midoriya was leaning casually against the doorframe, his posture relaxed. he was engaged in conversation with someone inside, his voice carrying a tone of lighthearted teasing that caught their attention.

“yeah, well, let’s hope we don’t run into each other too much today. if the students stay injury-free, you might actually get a chance to relax!” midoriya’s smile was bright, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he spoke.

bakugou barely registered midoriya’s words, his attention immediately caught by the soft, warm laugh that followed. 

“god, i wish,” you replied with a playful sigh, amusement lacing your voice. “but if these kids are anything like aizawa described you, i’ll probably end up needing help myself.”

as the group walked by, bakugou’s eyes were already peering in, there you were standing in the infirmary, leaning against a counter with a white coat draped over your frame. the crisp, clean fabric paired nicely with the light color of your sundress which fell loosely around you. your arms were crossed casually, and the cheeky grin on your face sent an unexplainable jolt through him.

for a brief moment, bakugou’s mind scrambled for an explanation—had one of these brats used their quirk on him? his palms grew damp, a slight prickling sensation tingling beneath his skin, but he quickly dismissed it, convincing himself it was just the heat of the building, the stress of the upcoming practicals. but deep down, he knew that wasn’t it.

your eyes briefly met his as they walked past, and the world seemed to snap back into focus. he scowled, turning his gaze back to the path ahead, but the image of you lingered in his mind, seared into his thoughts like a stubborn ember refusing to die out.

“damn brats,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anyone else, as they continued on their way to the testing site. but his usual biting tone lacked its usual conviction, the warmth of your laugh still echoing in his ears, a sound that somehow felt both familiar and entirely new.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

at the end of the day, bakugou found himself walking down a very familiar hallway, telling himself it was only because this was the way he’d come in. why wouldn’t he leave the same way? his idiot friends were probably lost, trying to find their way out of the school from the testing site, so it only made sense to take this route.

right?

as he continued down towards the front entrance of the school, he just so happened to pass the infirmary.

he noticed two students exiting the room. one of them had a faint blush on his cheeks—probably a reaction to your quirk. bakugou’s mind flashed back to his first time being healed by recovery girl. even though she was an old lady, the awkwardness of the whole process still made him flush with embarrassment. he couldn't imagine how much worse it wouldve been if the healer had been someone like you someone younger.

just then, he remembered the scratch—no, more like a faint slash—on the right side of his forehead. 

might as well get checked out while he was here, he reasoned. hed be cursing himself if that damn wound messed with his performance during his shift later. plus, if he was going to be dealing with more students tomorrow, he needed to be at his best.

with that excuse firmly in mind, bakugou took a deep breath and headed towards the infirmary, trying to ignore the way his pulse quickened, though he figured it was just the tightness of the quirk nullifying bands around his wrists. it couldnt have anything to do with you.

he stepped in quietly, noticing how you were engrossed in paperwork, likely documenting all the students you’d treated that day. the room was filled with the soft rustling of papers, and the sterile scent of antiseptic lingered in the air. bakugou stood at the doorframe for a moment, feeling like an idiot the longer he stood there. despite his intense glare, you seemed completely oblivious to his presence.

with an irritated huff, bakugou strode over to one of the infirmary beds and dropped himself onto it, the springs creaking under his weight. the sudden noise finally jolted you out of your focus. your eyes snapped up, widening in surprise, and bakugou smirked to himself when he saw your hand tighten around your pen, like you were ready to use it as a weapon against whoever dared to intrude.

“got hit,” he stated flatly, pointing at the cut on his forehead.

you raised an eyebrow, “oh? pro hero dynamite got bested by a couple of kids?” you teased, your tone light but your eyes filled with a playful glint.

from you, his usual scowl deepening. “second, they made me go easy on those brats. ‘course they landed a hit. not like they could keep up with me.” he said, mimicking the instructors’ voices with exaggerated annoyance. “‘told me i couldn’t just fail them all, it would ruin their self-esteem.”

he grumbled, still irked by the memory. he couldn’t shake the irritation gnawing at him. he was totally against going easy on them; he knew firsthand that failure was crucial for getting stronger. it wasn’t about being a jerk—it was about giving them the chance to face their weaknesses and improve. he was pissed off that they were missing out on that important lesson. but he also knew that if he defied the rules, it would only make things worse for everyone. so, as much as it grated on him, he followed the damn rules.

as he watched you move closer to him, he noticed you were trying to hold back a smile, he also saw the glint of amusement in your eyes, which made his chest tighten in a way he wasn’t used to. while you inspected his forehead, he felt an odd vulnerability. 

he felt your gaze scan his entire body, a mix of frustration and discomfort bubbling beneath the surface as your closeness stirred unsettling feelings. a strong heat rose at the back of his neck, and he tried to distract himself by focusing on the wall behind you. when your eyes finally landed on his wrists, you picked up one of his hands and examined it with even greater intensity. your shocked expression was unmistakable, and it was clear you couldn’t hide it.

“they slapped these on too,” he grumbled, gesturing to the heavy weights strapped to his ankles. he couldn't stop himself from trying to show off a little bit more, “said it was to ‘even the playing field.’ whatever that means.”

you hummed thoughtfully, gently inspecting the quirk-suppressing bands. “they really didn’t want you going all out, huh?” you murmured, your tone both curious and sympathetic.

he huffed, crossing his arms defensively. “if i hadn’t been wearing all this crap, they wouldn’t have landed a damn finger on me.”

he pointed to the small cut on his forehead again, a slight tilt of his head trying to hint that he was expecting something. he remembered the conversation with his friends when they were going over the students quirks, someone had mentioned that you were like recovery girl or something, using a quirk that required a kiss to heal. he didn’t get why you had to be so soft about it, but he also didn’t want to look like a complete idiot and ask for it directly.

“what, you think i’m here for a band-aid? just get it over with already.”

you stared at him with an odd look on your face. after a moment of silence, you muttered a quiet, “right,” before your lips brushed lightly against the cut on his wrist. the warmth of your touch was unexpectedly soothing, sending a strange flutter through his chest that he quickly shoved aside.

“all set!” you said softly, moving over to your desk to busy yourself with paperwork. he glanced at the mirror, checking the spot where the cut had been. satisfied, he started to leave but paused when he heard you chuckle softly.

“what’s so funny?” he asked, irritation mingling with curiosity.

“oh, nothing,” you replied, “just picturing you going easy on a bunch of kids. it’s hard to imagine.”

he grunted in response, feeling a rare twitch of amusement at the corners of his mouth. it was an unfamiliar sensation, and he didn’t know how to process it, which seemed to be a recurring theme in this room.

“don’t get used to it,” he warned, “next time, those brats won’t know what hit ‘em.”

you rolled your eyes, finally allowing yourself to smile as you watched him head toward the door. “try not to get hit again, dynamite,” you called after him, half-teasing, half-serious.

he glanced back at you, smirking. “don’t hold your breath.”

bakugou made his way down the halls toward the front of the building, a strange shift occurring within him as he thought about the odd sensations he’d experienced in your room. he’d always prided himself on being the toughest, most unbeatable guy around—someone who didn’t need anyone’s sympathy or affection. he certainly didn’t care for any of that sappy, lovey-dovey stuff.

but after you gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and let out that soft laugh—just like the one he’d heard earlier, but this one had been for him—he felt an unfamiliar warmth. your playful teasing, the way your cheeks flushed as you avoided his gaze, and the gentle touch as you healed his cut all lingered in his mind. as he walked out the doors of ua, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he might actually care about that ‘kind of crap.’

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

after that, he stopped by every day, always after the students were gone. he didn’t want them getting the wrong idea about his frequent visits. he was only coming by because it was convenient and you were tolerable. plus, you just happened to be on his way out, so he figured he might as well check in to make sure you weren’t slacking off. with the kids getting roughed up more than usual because of him, it was his duty as a pro hero to ensure the school’s support staff could handle the extra strain.

they had reached the end of the week, marking the completion of the first half of finals. students would rest over the weekend to prepare, as next week the rest of the second-years and first-years would be taking their tests. after that, school would be out for winter break and the young pro-heros would get to go back to working full time. 

today, he decided to check in and ensure the infirmary was fully stocked. it wouldn’t do for you to run out of supplies in the middle of finals. he couldn’t focus on his part if he knew the kids wouldn’t get the proper care they needed afterward. so he had to make sure you had everything you needed for the upcoming week.

he marched in with his usual scowl, pretending to inspect the shelves while you stared at him, an eyebrow raised in confusion, “do you need anything dynamite?”

“making sure youre all stocked up.” he grumbled, refusing to meet your gaze. “don’t need any of these brats whining because you’re out of bandages.”

“oh? you know, i’m perfectly capable of keeping things in order,” you teased, leaning back against the counter with that same cheeky grin that had been haunting his thoughts.

as if on cue, he’d suddenly remember a tiny scratch on his cheek today. they were always minor injuries—barely worth a second glance—but he made a point of showing them to you, as if they needed your immediate attention, always saying something like:

“got a cut on my finger. don’t need a fuss, just make it quick.”

“got a little nick on my palm, just need it wrapped up or whatever.”

“got a scratch here. honestly nothing, but i guess you should take a look.”

you always had something smart to say, today you went with, “oh, look at that,” 

after his second visit, your tone began to shift from actual concern to a mix of amusement and feigned concern. “you’ve got a little scrape. better let me take care of that.”

he’d huff, pretending like it wasn’t a big deal. “just get it over with.”

during his second, third, and fourth visits, you tended to his injury with a regular old first aid kit. you explained that it was better to let such a minor cut heal on its own, emphasizing how small the injury was—something that only seemed to irritate bakugou. you wanted to ensure that his body didn’t become dependent on a quirk for healing, even for minor wounds.

bakugou didn’t argue or ask for any extra attention. he was determined to stay above such petty requests. however, he found that he didn’t mind the touch of your hands, which were gentle and precise. each time your fingers brushed against his skin, he felt a small, unwelcome jolt of warmth, though he never let it show.

but today was different.

today felt like the first day all over again. 

he hoped you couldn’t see or feel the heat radiating from him as you leaned in and teased, “so, bakugou, are you here for the healing, or do you just enjoy my company?” you raised an eyebrow playfully. “because these tiny bruises hardly seem worth the trip.”

you gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and he instantly felt the soothing effects of your quirk.

“told you, it’s about staying in top shape. can’t have anything slowing me down, not even a damn scratch,” he snapped, his voice tinged with a forced irritation. “gotta be at my best if i’m gonna be number one.”

as you leaned back, your gaze lingered on him with an unreadable expression. the soft, ambient light of the infirmary cast a gentle glow around you, accentuating the warmth of your smile. despite the cool air, he felt an intense heat creep to his neck, betraying his attempt to stay composed. 

bakugou turned his face slightly, trying to ignore the way his heart was pounding. mumbling a quick thanks, he tried to regain his composure, his movements slightly stiff as he prepared to leave. 

he walks out of your office thinking about how he wished he would have let his friends talk about the new nurse at ua.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

bakugou nearly missed his visit today. it was the last day of finals, and his friends were eager to celebrate the end of the grueling two weeks of work. they wanted to head to a café around the corner—a favorite spot from their school days. bakugou had initially planned to meet them there, but they insisted on walking together. this was why he now found himself angrily trudging through the school halls, his frown evident as he moved.

when they stepped out of the school, bakugou abruptly stopped in his tracks. he quickly patted himself down, feigning realization that he had forgotten his phone. he put on a show, acting as if he was in a rush to retrieve it.

after a brief and hurried detour, he found his way back to the infirmary, dashing through the corridors with the same urgency as a student late to class. he slowed down every time he passed an open door, then sped up again, repeating this process until he finally arrived back at the infirmary.

his frustration was already high from the charade, but it reached new heights when he saw you and midoriya together, seemingly engrossed in each other. you were sitting close, helping midoriya upload the practical grades onto a computer. the sight of you two so close, with midoriya’s easy smile and your focused attention, only intensified bakugou's irritation.

he slumped onto one of the infirmary beds, his posture stiff and impatient. he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the ceiling, waiting for you and midoriya to finish what he perceived as an overly affectionate interaction. he tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy that flared up every time he glanced at the two of you, his mood darkening with each passing moment.

“i don’t think i’ve ever seen you visit recovery girl this much back in our school days, kachann,” bakugou quickly turned to his childhood friend, his eyes narrowed and his palms began to warm up. but just before he could bark out a reply, you had cut in, “what?” 

bakugou’s patience snapped as midoriya’s smirk widened. midoriyas voice dropped to a teasing tone. “oh, nothing. just noticing how often you’re in here these days, bakugou. you know, back in the day, you couldn’t stand being patched up, always rushing out before recovery girl could even finish. funny how things change.”

the words hit bakugou like a punch to the gut. he felt his anger flare, his fists clenching at his sides. he shot to his feet, his voice coming out in a low, threatening growl. “scram, nerd. didn’t want old lady lips on me back then, and i sure as hell don’t want you flappin’ yours now.”

midoriya chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender as he took a step back. he thanked you once more before giving bakugou a teasing smile and walking out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

bakugou’s irritation simmered as he watched midoriya leave. the heat in his cheeks was a mix of embarrassment and anger. he slumped back onto the infirmary bed, trying to shake off the tension that midoriya’s comments had stirred up inside him.

you turned your full attention to him, a small laugh escaping your lips. “you’re really going to blow a gasket one of these days, bakugou,” you teased, walking over with a calm, collected grace. the way you moved, so assured and at ease, only seemed to fuel his inner turmoil.

“shut up and just get on with it,” he grumbled, but it was clear there was no bite to his words. he was trying to mask the red creeping up his neck. he was determined not to let you see how much midoriya’s comments had affected him.

and its like the universe was against him because you couldn’t resist one last tease before getting down to business. “you’ve really gotta tell me, are you here for the treatment, or is it my company you’re after?” the playful glint in your eye made his facade crumble a little bit.

“just do your damn job,” he muttered, though he couldn’t entirely hide the faintest hint of a smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth as he sat back down. your teasing, while annoying, had a way of making him feel strangely at ease.

he decided the universe was on his side again when you leaned in, pressing a light kiss to the small bruise on his shoulder. bakugou watched you intently, his irritation slowly melting away under the soothing warmth of your quirk. despite his gruff exterior, he always found that during these moments with you, whether you used your quirk or not, the constant pressure he carried with him all day would finally start to ease up.

as you gently pulled back, your eyes locked with his. today was the last day he’d have the chance to drop by like this. over the past two weeks, these visits had become a regular part of his routine. lately, he’d started coming in the mornings and in between his scheduled practicals, under the guise of “checking up on the students he roughed up.”

this would be the final time he could casually walk in and share these small, meaningful moments with you. the thought of missing these interactions left him more unsettled than he wanted to admit. before you could say anything, he stood up abruptly, a mix of emotions flashing across his face. without another word, he turned and made his way to the door, his footsteps heavy with unspoken feelings.

“bakugou,” you called out, making him stop pause. he turned to face you, the hint of curiosity in his eyes.

you offered him a playful smile, trying to lighten the mood. “be careful out there. won’t be around to patch all those little scrapes and bruises.”

he raised an eyebrow, his scowl softening slightly as he took in your words. “so?”

you shrugged, a teasing grin on your lips. “sooo don’t want those little injuries to add up and start slowing you down, especially with your fight for the number one spot and all.”

he huffed, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “no promises,” he muttered, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned and walked out of your little office for the last time. 

the door clicked shut behind him, and as he moved down the hallways, now deserted with all the students gone, he realized that the mess of emotions inside him wasn’t from any damn quirk. on top of that, he couldn’t shake the relentless feeling that he’d regret leaving you behind without finally tell you how he really felt, even if it still confused the hell out of him.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

he was right.

bakugou walked out of his agency with his usual scowl, but his mind was elsewhere. instead of focusing on his next mission, he replayed every interaction between the two of you—how you treated the students and tended to his cuts and bruises. he thought about your caring nature, your teasing attitude, and how your presence seemed to calm him despite his usual irritation. admitting that he missed you or cared more than he let on was still out of the question; he wasn’t ready for that. which is why he found himself in a state of despair.

but it wouldn’t hurt to see you again, he reasoned. after all, he had a sizable cut on his hand from a fierce battle earlier that day—a paper cut from adding more paper to the printer. he blasted his way back to ua high school, his heart pounding for some odd reason.

he rushed up the front steps, frustration barely contained as he shook the door handles, convinced they were just stiff from the cold. as he stepped back, preparing to blast the doors open, he noticed a small sign that read, "winter break has begun—ua is closed." his face fell, disappointment clear in his features.

he completely forgot.

with a muttered string of curses, he turned around, heading back to his agency, his mood darkened by a sense of missed opportunity and lingering irritation.

that same night he nearly looked you up on social media, but decided he was above that–although he had no problems getting purposely ‘injured’ just to see you again. he decided that he needed to talk to you in person. he was not gonna message you on social media like some extra. 

though it was painful to admit, bakugou decided midoriya was his best bet for advice, you two were colleagues after all. the two had gone through a rough patch during middle school and their first year of high school, but they’d grown closer after the war. their relationship was like that of brothers, marked by teasing and occasional verbal jabs. and just as midoriya had influenced bakugou, bakugou had also rubbed off on midoriya.

“holy shit, just admit it! admit you like her,” midoriya whisper-yelled, his voice trembling with exasperation as he buried his head in his hands. he’d spent the past hour trying to break through bakugou’s walls, desperately attempting to get his childhood best friend to confess his obvious feelings for you.

“i don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” bakugou replied with a dismissive shrug, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned back in his chair. he crossed his arms over his chest, feigning indifference, but his heart was racing so fast it felt like it might burst out of his chest. the muscles in his jaw tensed as he tried to maintain his composure, but even he could feel the cracks forming in his facade.

midoriya looked up, frustration evident in his furrowed brow. “you’ve got to be kidding me, katsuki. you dragged me out here to talk about her. it’s written all over your damn face.”

bakugou’s eyes flickered with irritation as he let out a low growl, his voice rising slightly in response to midoriya’s persistence. “seriously, what’s your deal with this lovey-dovey crap?” he snapped, leaning forward so forcefully that the chair creaked under the pressure.

“i came here to hang out, not to spill my guts about feelings, and the only thing written on my face is— ”he paused for dramatic effect, pointing to his left cheek,“—number,” he pointed to his right cheek, as if marking the spot. “—one!” his voice rose in defiant emphasis, though the strained expression on his face revealed just how much he was trying to keep his composure.

midoriya’s gaze sharpened, a mix of irritation and amusement dancing in his eyes. but before he could respond, bakugou cut him off sharply.

“i also didn’t drag you anywhere!” bakugou snapped, his voice cracking slightly as he fought to keep his emotions in check. “you came here on your own.”

“so—” midoriya began, but bakugou was already back on the defensive.

“but if you’re so damn desperate to talk about her, then go ahead. i won’t stop you” bakugou interrupted, his voice laced with challenge as he glared at midoriya.

midoriya couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “you’re impossible, you know that? you’re just making it more obvious that you care.”

bakugou’s expression suddenly shifted. He stared at his friend, frustration and resignation mixing in his eyes, his shoulders slumping slightly as if he’d finally decided to let his guard down. “damn it, fine,” he muttered, the words coming out in a mix of defeat and reluctant honesty. “i thought it was just her quirk at first—you know how it works, right? you had that old lady’s lips on you all the time. figured i was just feeling awkward from the situation.”

midoriya’s eyes widened in surprise. “wait, her quirk—”

“hold on, i’m not done,” bakugou snapped, cutting him off abruptly. “after that, she started taking care of me without using her quirk. like, really looking out for me, making sure i was okay. that’s when i figured out it wasn’t just her damn power messing with my head. it’s her. it’s the way she talks, the way she looks at me, the way she gives a damn about people. the more we talked over the past two weeks, the more i realized…i actually give a shit.”

midoriya’s mouth opened, but he was interrupted by both of their phones buzzing with an urgent alert. they both glanced at their screens, and midoriya’s expression shifted to one of concern.

“shit,” bakugou muttered, grabbing his jacket. “they need all pros in the area.”

midoriya nodded, his face set in determination. “we’ve gotta go. now.”

“yeah,” bakugou agreed, already heading for the door. “we’ll talk later.”

they both slammed some cash down onto the table before rushing out of the café, the urgency of the situation taking over. bakugou's thoughts about you and the emotional revelations would have to wait; their immediate priority was to respond to the villain attack and protect the city.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

bakugou limped through the bustling emergency room, his face twisted in pain and frustration. he tried to ignore the nagging sense of vulnerability that came with his injuries. that stupid villain had managed to pull a fast one on him, landing a nasty hit before bakugou practically blew him to bits.

midoriya, being his usual self, had quickly suggested that the best treatment for bakugou’s injuries was at the very hospital where you volunteered, an effort to have you guys see each other again. normally, bakugou would have avoided causing a scene in a hospital, preferring to get patched up at his agency instead. however, midoriya’s persistence and his offer to handle all the paperwork made it difficult for bakugou to refuse.

he sighed as he let kaminari, sero, and kirishima come along with him, clearly annoyed but determined not to let midoriya’s plan fall through. as he trudged along.

the chaotic hustle and bustle of the emergency room was in full swing, a symphony of beeping monitors, hurried footsteps, and urgent conversations. nurses and doctors moved briskly, attending to patients with practiced efficiency. bakugou’s irritation only grew as he was directed to sit and wait for some doctor anderson. 

“i’ll wait,” bakugou growled, clenching his jaw. “i want the best of the best. that means ms. y/l/n.”

the medical staff exchanged uncertain glances, trying to balance their duties with the stubborn hero’s demands. “she’s just a volunteer here, and she already has quite the list,” one of the doctors said, attempting to reason with him. “we really need to—”

bakugou’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “you questioning me?!” he snarled, his voice thundering through the corridor, shaking the air with its intensity. the staff, taken aback by his explosive temper, quickly scrambled to comply, knowing better than to argue with him. 

with a flurry of activity, they stabilized bakugou’s injuries as best as they could under the circumstances. the urgency in their movements betrayed their anxiety over his demands, but they managed to prepare him for your arrival.

∘₊ ────── ₊ ∘ ♡︎ ∘ ₊────── ₊∘

you moved quickly through the halls of the hospital, your heart racing as you had just received word that pro hero dynamite had just been admitted, and had demanded you to be the one to help him. you had a aching feeling that it wasn't for another scape. you spotted a group of familiar faces clustered together just outside bakugou's room. kirishima, kaminari, and sero were chatting animatedly, their conversation punctuated by bursts of laughter and occasional glances toward the door which gave you a small sense of relief.

“seriously, this is just karma,” kaminari said with a thoughtful frown, peering up at the ceiling as if searching for divine answers. “he was coming to recovery girl for every little scrape, it was so obvious he was trying to get an excuse to see her.”

“yeah,” sero chimed in with a smirk, “ bet you he was milking those tiny injuries just to get a little attention from her.”

kirishima laughed, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “he probably thought if he kept getting those little nicks and bruises, he’d get a chance to talk to her more. pretty clever, but also so very unmanly.”

their laughter and commentary were a strange mix of sympathy and light-hearted teasing. you found yourself frozen in place, hiding just out of sight as you overheard their conversation. the realization hit you hard—bakugou’s frequent visits and seemingly pointless injuries had been his way of getting close to you.

swallowing hard, you took a deep breath before making your way toward bakugou's room. you quickly greeted the pro heroes offering polite nods before pushing through the door. your hands began to sweat, nerves getting the better of you as you creaked the door open.

inside, you let out a sigh of relief mixed with concern. his condition wasn't as dire as you’d feared, but it wasn’t exactly good either. instead of the usual tiny cuts and small bruises you were accustomed to, bakugou had a deep, painful-looking gash on his side. it looked serious, though you could tell he was trying to downplay it.

he turned his head slowly toward you, his eyes barely open but trying to focus. his usual fiery glare was subdued, replaced by an almost vulnerable expression. “hello, dynamite,” you greeted him gently, a playful hint in your voice despite the situation. “thought i told you to be careful.”

bakugou's lips twitched into a weak, smile. “told me not to get any small ones, think i listened pretty well,” he joked, though his voice was strained.

you gave him a small smile, but it quickly faded as you noticed his vitals starting to waver on the monitor beside him. the steady beep of the heart rate was becoming irregular, and your concern spiked.

without hesitation, you activated your quirk, letting your hand hover over the deep cut on his side. the air seemed to crackle with energy as you focused intently, channeling your power to heal the wound. bakugou watched you with growing shock, his eyes widening as the extent of your quirk became apparent.

as you worked, you kept your focus on the healing process, determined to stabilize him. his expression of surprise and awe. despite the situation, you felt a pang of satisfaction seeing the wound slowly mend under your touch.

the room was filled with the quiet hum of medical equipment and the occasional murmurs from the pro heroes outside. you could feel the weight of the room’s concern, but you pushed through, driven by the need to get bakugou patched up.

finally, after a few tense moments, the monitor’s beeping steadied and bakugou’s breathing became more even. you pulled your hand away, your energy slightly drained but relieved that the worst was over for now.

bakugou’s gaze softened as he looked at you, and despite the pain, there was something almost tender in his eyes. “thanks,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

you offered him an awkward smile. “just doing my job.”

the two of you sat in an awkward silence, his gaze fixed on the wall in front of him while you stared at the sheets. you got up, slowly preparing to say goodbye.

“so... your quirk isn’t like recovery girl’s, huh?” bakugou blinked slowly at you, his tone a mix of curiosity and irritation.

you nodded, your expression growing more serious. “yeah, it’s not.”

bakugou’s expression hardened, his voice sharp. “why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“didn’t think i’d have to see you again,” you admitted, frustration creeping into your voice. “and you’re not exactly the saint you pretend to be, either,” you added, your face flushing as you turned towards the window.

bakugou’s eyes widened in surprise, his face turning slightly pink. “what the hell are you talking about?”

“you kept coming to me with those tiny scratches. you never really needed my help; you just wanted an excuse to see me.”

“are you out of your damn mind?!” bakugou roared, his face flushing deeper with anger. “i was using my resources to stay in top shape, alright? nothing more, nothing less!”

“top shape—who the hell talks like that?!” now you were a dark shade of crimson, your face blazing as the argument escalated. “bakugou, just admit it already!”

“there’s nothing to admit! how about you admit you were just waiting for an excuse to kiss me, you perv?!” bakugou’s voice rose, his face now a deeper red, frustration clear in his eyes.

“what?! don’t try to twist this around on me, you little shit! you’re the one who kept stopping by for the most ridiculous reasons—half the time, i didn’t even see anything wrong!” you shot back, your anger matching his.

“and yet you still acted like you wanted to kiss me, you damn freak!” bakugou’s face was now a deep shade of red, his embarrassment and anger mixing in equal measure.

“what?! i’m not a freak! you’re the freak! you just barged into my office and pointed at your cheek. who assumes something like that? if anything, you’re the perv for thinking healers just go around kissing people!” you exclaimed, your frustration peaking.

“that shitty little short circuit said you were the new recovery girl??” bakugou snapped, his patience wearing thin.

“i am? doesn’t mean i have the same quirk,” you retorted, crossing your arms defiantly.

“well, you should’ve just said that’s not how your quirk works from the start!” bakugou growled, his tone defensive, his face still flushed.

“and you wouldn’t have blown me to bits. you were so damn confident when you just pointed at that tiny little scratch! i was just trying to protect myself!” you said, your voice rising in frustration as you turned away from him.

“oh, you’re really pushing it—” bakugou began, his anger barely contained, but he was cut off by kirishima barging into the room.

“sorry, but you’re both being unmanly right now.”

“stay out of this!” you both yelled, turning to the pro. he simply sighed and walked out, shaking his head and muttering about how things were just getting more unmanly by the minute.

there was a long pause as both of you sat in the silence, the weight of the room’s emotions settling around you. the air felt thick, charged with the intensity of the argument and the vulnerability that had emerged. bakugou’s gaze softened as he looked at you, the anger in his eyes giving way to something more introspective. his shoulders relaxed, and his voice took on a quieter, more tentative tone. “didn’t really need your help then,” he said, the words laced with an awkward honesty that caught you off guard.

“i know,” you replied taking a seat at the edge of his bed, your own embarrassment matching his. you took a deep breath, feeling the fight drain from you as the truth settled between you. the tension in the room shifted, morphing from anger to something more fragile and uncertain.

another moment of silence stretched between you, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. 

“bakugou,” you started softly, searching for the right words. your breath caught in your throat as you looked at him. “i like you,” you confessed, the words slipping out with a mix of shyness and sincerity.

bakugou’s eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before he quickly masked it with his trademark scowl. “had a feeling,” he grumbled, his tone a blend of annoyance and something softer beneath. “took you long enough to admit it.”

before he could react further, you reached out and gave him a playful yet firm slap on the arm. your face flushed with embarrassment and frustration. “what was that for?” bakugou exclaimed, rubbing the spot where you’d hit him, his expression a mix of genuine confusion and mild irritation.

“don’t act all smug,” you shot back, your voice laced with indignation. you’d just confessed your feelings, and instead of offering a heartfelt response, the idiot in front of you had simply said he knew. it was like he didn’t even grasp the weight of what you’d said.

bakugou’s scowl faltered as he looked at you with an unusual hint of vulnerability. his gaze dropped to the floor, and a flicker of uncertainty crossed his features. it was clear he was struggling; he wasn’t used to expressing his feelings or dealing with someone else’s, and it showed.

when he finally looked back up, his expression was serious, but you noticed a rare softness in his eyes. “alright,” he said, his voice low and gruff but edged with an awkward sincerity that seemed out of character for him. “i like you too. a lot. more than i probably should.”

as you both sat there, basking in the newfound honesty between you, the tension began to melt away. bakugou let out a deep breath, and you could see the muscles in his shoulders relax. a comfortable silence settled in, and the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you enjoying each other’s company. for now, there was no need to rush or worry about what came next. you simply savored the moment, feeling a deep sense of connection and contentment.

after a few moments, bakugou shifted slightly, a small, thoughtful look crossing his face. he wasn’t sure if it was the pain meds or the weight of your confession, but he was starting to feel a bit bolder than he had been. breaking the comfortable silence, he turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “ya know,” he said, his tone carrying a hint of his usual gruffness, “i’m still in a lot of pain.” he paused, watching you, as if he was testing the waters for your reaction.

you looked at him, puzzled. “what are you getting at?”

“well, we don’t know for sure if your quirk isn’t like recovery girl’s,” he said, leaning in slightly. “ worked pretty well last time.”

you tilted your head, catching on to his subtle hint. “oh, so you’re suggesting that my quirk might work better if i used it the way recovery girl does? you know, with a bit more—” you paused for dramatic effect, “—personal touch?”

a soft smile spread across his face, his gaze locking onto yours. “something like that.”

you laughed softly, shaking your head. “well, if that’s the case, i’d better go check on your friends then. they might need some help too, after all.”

before you could move, bakugou’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with a firm yet gentle grip. his eyes softened slightly, a mix of playfulness and sincerity in his gaze. “hey, don’t be a smartass,” he said, pulling you closer. “just... stay here for a minute.”

your heart skipped a beat as you were drawn into his personal space. you looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat. his expression was earnest now, the playful facade giving way to something more genuine.

“bakugou?” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

“yeah?” he replied, his tone softening as he leaned in slightly.

you could feel the tension between you, a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. his gaze was fixed on your lips, his intention clear even if unspoken. the moment hung in the air, charged with the possibility of a kiss.

finally, with a playful smirk, you tilted your head and teased, “i suppose if you’re still in pain, i should take care of that.”

before you could react, bakugou closed the distance between you. his lips brushed against yours in a warm, gentle kiss. it was soft and sweet, carrying a surprising tenderness that left both of you breathless. the kiss was fleeting but filled with a depth of emotion that spoke volumes. as he pulled away, his smirk was replaced by a genuine, tender look. his eyes searched yours, revealing a vulnerability that contrasted with his usual fiery demeanor.

you blinked, still processing the kiss. with a shy smile, you asked, “feel better?”

he quickly buried his face in the side of your neck, causing you to giggle. "yeah," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. you could feel him slowly start to smile against your skin, "better."

ੈ✩‧₊˚ tagslist: @kirikiss @ah-mya @terralupa @purplebirdds @semiji ᐢᗜᐢ

♡ a/n: haha ember refusing to die? yk whos embers died… also haha reach out????! also sorry for the ooc at the end. i just needed that no lie... :D also part of me wants to do a part 3?? but just a bunch of random drabbles of you both getting together and your relationship 🤗

꩜ fr a/n: THANK YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE ON MY RECENT POSTS LIKE SERIOUSLY THIS IS AMAZING <3 LOVE YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH! I PUMPPPPED THIS CHAPTER OUT AS MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

[gemstone-roses]

Make it better

Hannibal x reader

Hurt/ comfort.

no specific plot. I’ve just really needed this.

Thankyou @ajokeformur-ray for reading this over and assuring me it wasn’t utter garbage. ILY ♥️

Warnings: reader is estranged from her family. Female reader, Mentions of death, panic attack, anxiety, stress. OOC Hannibal maybe. Shush. 🤫

A/N: I know I’ve been a bit absent. I’ve had an incredibly difficult few months and it just keeps getting worse. I’m working on all your requests I promise. I wrote this in the hopes it would make me feel a tiny bit better. If anyone needs any comfort I do hope you find a bit in this too.

The ache in your chest that’d settled there the past few weeks was showing little sign of residing. You sat in the worn armchair in your little office flicking through the brown folder making sure your work was correct before handing it to Dr Lecter. You took witness/ surviving victim statements, and passed them onto Dr Lecter to look over at the beginning of any case that came through. Hannibal admired you and your strength, sensing a deep wound buried somewhere in your past.

A few weeks ago, on the way to a crime scene, he’d asked you how your week had been you’d told him you’d had news of an estranged family member who’d passed, and said nothing further. Hannibal could sense there was a struggle of some sort, like you didn’t know what or how to feel, and a stirring of horrid memories you’d hoped long ago to bury. He’d offered sincerely to be a listening ear as a friend, and you’d waved him off, thanking him, assuring him you were fine.

You’re here later than everyone else, a consequence of your unrelenting mind, not wanting to go home just yet.

Every single bone in your body aches, the events in your personal life of the past few months weighing heavily on you.

With a defeated sigh you untangle your legs from beneath you and head to Hannibal’s office. You’re not expecting him to still be in, taken aback slightly when his door is ajar and Bach is sounding softly through the door. You knock, even though he always insists if his door is open you may come in without doing so.

“You’re here late” Hannibal cocks an eyebrow, he’s not at his desk, he sits on the couch that divides the room of his office, his slight curiosity soon turns to concern as he regards you. The bags under your eyes are considerably deeper, your slightly hunched frame, arms wrapped around your middle, folder tucked under your arm, like you’re subconsciously trying to comfort yourself.

“Ah, I just wanted to get this done for you” you say, passing him the file. He notices the slight quiver of your hand as you pass it.

“Thankyou, do you want some tea?” He asks kindly , getting up to get you a mug before you’ve even answered.

“I don’t want to impose” you said a little awkwardly, old insecurities coming to the surface thanks to the past few months.

“You are never an imposition” he says, his voice laced with concern. He’s missed you these past few weeks, you’ve been present, physically, but your sarcastic quips and laugh hadn’t filled the room for weeks. You’d told him in general conversation how you were estranged from your family- they were awful people, who did awful things, and he never pressed you further. Only assuring you that it was their loss, and they were undeserving of a person as lovely and kind as you.

“Sit” he says, gesturing to the seat next to him and handing you the mug, his fingers brush yours as you take it, his hands are warm, at one point you’d wonder how they’d feel holding yours, now, feeling like you’d insulted him by accidentally brushing your fingers against his.

“Sorry” you mumble, Hannibal catches it, his heart aching at your words, wanting nothing more than to take away whatever was hurting you.

Hannibal places his cup on the side, kneels down in front of you. It startles you slightly. You’re glad you have your hands wrapped around the mug, as Hannibal would definitely pick up in your nervous fidgeting.

Hannibal reaches a large hand to cup your face, you turn towards it.

“It’s alright” he says lowly, stroking your cheek.

You bite the inside of your cheek, lest the tears that have been unable to fall finally spill. You shake your head, lip quivering.

“I’ve got you, I’m here, your safe” he soothes as you blow out a shaky breath, chest tightening.

“Y/n, darling” Hannibal speaks, he’s lowered his voice, cupping your chin now forcing you to look at him. His brows furrow, taking in your struggled breathing and your shaking frame. “Can you take a deep breath for me?” You try, unsuccessfully of course, eyes slightly wild with panic. “Okay, Okay, look at me, slowly, yes?” He coaches, splaying his hand on your chest. “Good” he nods, his other hand squeezing your shoulder. “Again” , and you do, Hannibal nods, a reassuring smile on his face. “Good girl” he says, thumb swiping at your tears. He stays holding you, hand on your chest comfortingly until your breathing returned to normal.

“I’m so-

Hannibal cuts you off.

“Ah, no, none of that” he admonishes gently.

He rises from his knees, towering over you on the couch, his arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into him. His hold is strong, Hannibal presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m making your favourite this evening, come home with me” he says. You tense slightly, again not wanting to impose.

“Allow me to make it better for you, even just for a night” he whispers. “Okay” you say.

He insists you sit by the fire as he cooks, refusing any pleas from you about helping. You eat together, and in the night, he holds you. You curl into his open arms as he wraps them around you, encasing you. You feel safe there, Hannibal pressing soft kisses to your forehead and muttering soft compliments as he waits for you to drift off, and you think, perhaps everything will be alright as long as your here with him.

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Leave The Past Behind | Park Seonghwa

-> Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

-> Request: No. I just watched Hotel Del Luna and finished Goblin a few weeks ago. I got inspired. I thought about making this a series but I'm not sure yet. Let me know if you want more.

-> Synopsis: Y/N encounters her past love again.

-> Warnings: Supernatural element. Mentions of past lives. An old lady deity.

-> Word Count: 754

-> Requests: Open.

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©️ 2024 woojoongstreasure - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

Likes, comments & reblogs are welcomed and appreciated, thank you. 

Y/N stands on the corner of street adorned with cherry blossom trees. The air is filled with a sweet, floral scent, her favourite scent. As she stands there, a gentle breeze stirs, causing the petals to dance and twirl in the air before gracefully descending to the ground. With a smile, she extends her hand and manages to catch one of the petals. Just as the petal brushes her skin a sudden gust of wind sweeps through, snatching the petal away from her. 

As the petal floats further away from her, Y/N’s attention is drawn to a figure approaching from the distance. Her smile fades as he recognizes him. He’s a familiar face that she had once held dear. 

As he walks pass her, he bows his head slightly, a warm smile on his handsome face, in greeting, before continuing on his way to wherever he’s heading. As she watches him walk further away, her face remains stoic, her emotions hidden behind a mask of indifference. But deep in her eyes, a flicker of hurt and longing can be seen. Her heart aches, burdened from the curse that had been placed on her as images of their past encounters flash through her mind, until it settles on one memory. It’s a memory from centuries ago. 

“You shouldn’t be with a commoner,” his voice rings loud, as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before cupping her cheek. “A noble woman like you should be with a man of her status.” 

“But I don’t want a man of nobility,” she tells him, turning her head and places a soft kiss on his palm. “I want the man who holds my heart. The man standing in front of me right now. The man I love more than life itself. I only want you. I only need you.” 

Shaking her head, pushing away all the mixed emotions, she continues her walk back to her apartment only to step back in surprised when she finds the old lady who has been a pain in her side since her first life centuries ago.  

 "Aish," she says under her breath, frowning at the deity disguised as a sweet little old lady. She was anything but. 

 "Avoiding him isn't going to break your curse," The old woman smiles. The smile doesn't match the overly friendly tone of her voice.  

 "I'm beginning to think you don't know how to break it," the younger woman says, glaring into her soul. “That I was just some experiment to you.”  

"You must confront it," the old woman advises. "Confront your sins, leave the past behind you, and begin anew. Do not flee this time. It’s really that simple. I was so sure you’d have it figured out and broken by your third life." 

"I-" 

 "Excuse me."  

 A voice from behind Y/N interrupts her and causes the old woman to disappear with a smirk. She swears under her breath before turning to face the person. Her heart skips a beat seeing him, the man she has loved and lost many times standing before her.  

"I found this back there," he says holding up her wallet and pointing down the street in the direction he’d been walking in.  

Her eyes grow wide, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she frantically searches her bag for her wallet, which she was certain was safely tucked away. 

"I... I must have dropped it," she stutters, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude towards him. The relief quickly fades as she realizes that this was the work of the deity, fuelling a hidden anger within her.  

He smiles warmly, handing her the wallet. "I checked the ID and recognized you. I'm glad I caught you so I could return it to you instead of taking it to the police station."  

"I can't believe I didn't realize it was missing."  

He shrugs, his eyes filled with empathy. "It happens to the best of us."

She nods, "You're right. Thank you..."  

"Park Seonghwa," he introduces himself, bowing slightly and extending his hand to her.  

"Thank you, Park Seonghwa," she expresses her gratitude with a kind smile, shaking his hand.  

"I don't usually do this, but would you like to go get a coffee?" he asks, appearing unsure and nervous. "If you're not busy... I mean, you don't have to... I don't-"  

"I would love to," she interrupts him this time, the words of the deity echoing in her mind. Confront your sins, leave the past behind you, and start anew. 

TAGGING: @staytiny2000 - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @green-agent - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie – @hollxe1 – @laylasbunbunny – @deltamoon666 - @skz1-4-3 - @pinkies-things

[sixhours]

One Day at a Time - Chapter 4 - Gestation

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel Miller x f!OFC, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, SMUT, gratuitous smut, dubious consent (drunk sex), unplanned pregnancy, fluff, references to past miscarriages, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, age gap (~21 years), childbirth, fluffy baby stuff, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

He’s browsing at the trading post when he sees Charlie again. He’s checked off 14 more days in his little calendar, and each time he picks up the pen, it stirs a bittersweet feeling of anticipation and sheer terror in his gut.

He’s picking over the trades, looking for new sneakers for Ellie, when his eyes fall on something else.

Footed pajamas, impossibly tiny, the little plastic price tag still clipped to the sleeve. His hand drifts over the yellow fabric, faded but minky soft. Warm. Good for winter.

Sarah had pajamas like this once…a sleep suit with a hood and little round ears peeking up from the top. He hasn’t thought about that outfit in…well, decades. The memory of her toddling toward him with those silly little ears poking up from her downy head is so vivid that he can almost hear her trill of laughter and he has to lean on the table to catch his breath, the yellow onesie still clutched in his hand.

“Joel? Are you okay?”

Charlie’s voice comes from over his shoulder, snapping him out of his reverie, and he turns around.

“Yeah…yeah just, uh…yeah, m’fine. What’re you doin’ here?”

He hides the pajamas behind him, balling them up in one large fist.

She holds up a white package. “Heard they had TP. Figured I’d better get down here and snag a roll before it was all gone. You?”

“Lookin’ for stuff for Ellie.”

“Find anything good?”

“She won’t think so.”

Charlie smirks. “Teenagers, huh?”

“Yeah,” he says, shoving the onesie deep into his bag and making for the counter. He drops off a sack of old clothes into the donation bin, all the stuff Ellie has outgrown, and watches as Charlie does the same with her trades.

They find themselves outside, the warmth of late spring making everything smell fresh and green. Charlie’s button-down shirt floats over her jeans in such a way as to hide her midsection, but her proportions have changed. Her face is fuller, her breasts are swollen, and her skin looks so soft and smooth and—

He coughs and looks away, feeling a brief wash of shame for noticing her. Again.

“So you’re, uh…still…”

“Yeah…I’m still,” she says.

“That’s good,” he says, and means it. “Feelin’ okay?”

She shrugs. “A little tired…but yeah. I feel better. So far, so good, I guess.”

He nods thoughtfully and bites his lip, thinking of the calendar next to his bed. He can almost hear the days falling away.

“Look, I…uh…I shoulda said somethin’ before now. I…know I haven’t been the most…uh…I’m not trying to get out of…anything.”

She blinks up at him, brow furrowed, waiting for him to make sense. He winces, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I wanna help,” he tries again. “However I can. I know it’s not easy goin’ it alone,” he says, looking down at the bag with Ellie’s clothes and the onesie tucked at the bottom. Then he’s thinking of Sarah, of long nights spent pacing and rocking and soothing.

“You’ve done enough.”

“Oh,” he chokes out. “Uh, I, uh…s’pose I deserve that.”

Her eyes widen, cheeks turning a faint pink. Now it’s her turn to fumble her words.

“Oh…I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…you’ve been good. You’ve helped. I–shit. I’m sorry.”

There’s a painfully awkward silence as this sinks in and he bites back a smirk.

“We’re pretty fuckin’ bad at this, huh?”

“Yes,” she sighs. “We are.”

This admission seems to ease something between them. Before he can lose his nerve, he continues.

“Could I come to your next appointment? Is that somethin’ people still do?”

She nods slowly, considering this. “I have one next week. It’s not very exciting, but…you could come with me.”

“I’d like that.”

“I’m not sure you will,” she says. “The midwife is…intense.”

“I’ve heard,” he says. “I think I can handle it.”

He can’t handle it.

The midwife, Joanie, is cold and abrupt and downright abrasive. He can’t imagine this person welcoming anyone, let alone his future child, into the world. He wants to put his arm around Charlie, turn her around, and tell her they’ll find someone else.

But he can’t. Jackson has one midwife. And the town doctor is a 76-year-old man who “doesn’t do babies”.

The woman is dressed in a long, flowing caftan, gray hair pulled neatly into a braid down her back. She looks like a hippie but her eyes are sharp, and her tongue is sharper.

“You brought the boyfriend this time,” she says as Charlie settles on the makeshift exam bed, a chaise lounge with a sheet draped over it. Joel can’t help but notice that Charlie doesn’t bother correcting her.

“You can sit,” Joanie says to him, gesturing to the chair next to the chaise. When he doesn’t move, she throws her hands up. “Or keep hovering. Whatever.”

Joel crosses his arms and barely restrains a snarl. Charlie shoots him a look as she slides her unbuttoned jeans down to her hips.

I told you.

The woman performs a cursory physical exam in silence. It’s obvious they’ve done this routine several times, and neither seems to feel the need to explain it to Joel.

The midwife is frowning, digging into Charlie’s belly with pointed, demanding fingers, feeling around until Charlie winces. Joel clenches a fist at his side, resisting the urge to snap at the woman for being so careless and rough.

“Growth is on track. You’re measuring at sixteen weeks.”

She pulls out a speaker attached to a wand–he vaguely recognizes it from appointments with Sarah’s mother at the beginning–and a tube of gel. She covers Charlie’s lower abdomen with goop and presses the wand in, levering it this way and that, seeking the sound of a second heart. There’s a long moment where he thinks they won’t find it–that this will be the day it all goes to hell.

But then there’s a familiar but distant echo, a rapid pulse of sound, the memory coming back to him across thirty-five years and an apocalypse. It’s the sound that once filled a small room in a sterile hospital. He remembers it as a black-and-white flutter on the ultrasound screen, fast and vigorous and alive .

Mine , he thinks dimly. He sinks into the chair because his legs no longer want to hold him.

The midwife, satisfied she’s found what she’s looking for, holds the wand steady and looks at her watch. It’s the shortest fifteen seconds of Joel’s life and he doesn’t want it to end.

“One-twenty-six. You can sit up.”

Charlie does. Joel notices she doesn’t bother trying to button her jeans. He vaguely remembers Sarah’s mother needing soft, stretchy things, and wonders if Charlie has anything like that.

“Any cramping?” Joanie asks, flipping through a file.

“No.”

“Still bleeding?”

Charlie hesitates for a fraction of a second. “A little. Not every day.”

Joel’s eyes snap to her at that, but she’s not looking at him.

The midwife frowns. “Given your advanced maternal age and your history, I don’t like to hear that.”

Her sharp eyes focus on Joel. “You’re, what, sixty?”

“Fifty-seven.”

“Mmm. Sperm quality after fifty is a crapshoot,” she sighs. “You’re looking at an increased risk of genetic defects.”

Joel grips the arm of the chaise hard enough to rip it from the frame. He’s going to kill this woman.

“Look, I’ll be honest with you,” she continues. “Maternal-fetal medicine in this country was a shitshow before cordyceps, and the pandemic might as well have sent us back to the dark ages. I’ve seen one death for every five live births. Maternal survival rates are better, but only slightly.”

She’s looking at Charlie. “I can’t tell you you’re going to be okay. I can’t tell you your baby is going to be okay. I can only tell you what I think will help your chances and then…we wait and see.”

Charlie nods, her face drawn into a flat, emotionless mask as she takes this in.

“No more patrols. Light duty work only. No lifting. I can give you a doctor’s note for the council to reassign you if your regular job is too strenuous. No sex,” she says, looking pointedly at Joel. “And if the bleeding gets worse–if it’s bad enough that you need a pad–you go on bed rest immediately.”

Her eyes shift back to Joel. “Stress is a baby-killer. Your job is to take care of her and make sure there is no stress. None. If you can’t do that, you need to find someone who can.”

He grinds his teeth so hard he thinks he hears a molar crack.

“We’re done. I’ll see you next week,” she says dismissively.

And then Charlie’s off the chaise and ushering him to the door before he can open his mouth to give the woman hell and they’re stepping out into the rain. They make it to the end of the street before he stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he says, hating the way his voice shakes, recognizing the animal clawing within his chest as barely contained rage.

“I did–I warned you,” she frowns. “She’s rough.”

“No–I mean, the bleeding. You said you were fine.”

“I was. I am,” she says flatly. “You heard the heartbeat.”

“S’not what I meant and you know it,” he hisses.

Her lip curls in a snarl. “You fucked me once . You think that gives you the right to—to everything?”

He blinks. “That’s not what I said.”

“Then what are you saying?”

When he can’t answer, she turns and walks away. The sight of her retreating back hunched against the rain only serves to stoke the fire of his anger further. Her shirt is getting soaked.

Where the fuck is her jacket? She’s going to get sick.

He catches up and grabs her by the arm, turning her around and holding her in place.

“You heard her. How am I supposed to take care of you if you won’t fuckin’ let me?”

Only then does he see the tears in her eyes, rain mingling with salt on her cheeks. Guilt stabs at him and he loosens his grip.

“I don’t know,” she hisses. “I can’t just…be that person with you. I don’t fucking know you! I don’t even know your middle name, but we’re having a fucking baby. Or maybe we’re not, because our odds are shit, and I should have taken care of this when I had the chan–”

The words hit like a punch to the gut. Without thinking, he pulls her to him, wrapping her in his arms until he’s holding her in the middle of the street. “Stop. Please.”

She shudders but doesn’t push him away. The sky rumbles, threatening a downpour.

He ducks his head, speaking softly. “It’s Arthur.”

She snorts into his shoulder. “What?”

“My middle name. S’Arthur. After my grandfather.”

She makes a noise that sounds like a sob…or a laugh. He can’t tell. The sound stirs a frantic need within him and he grips her by the shoulders.

“Move in with me.”

“What? No.”

“Just until the kid gets here. Let me take care of you both.”

She looks up at him, eyes ringed with dark circles. A raindrop splashes on the tip of her nose and drips into the divot above her upper lip. 

“Do you even want this? I need to hear you say it.”

Any lingering anger melts away. He thinks of the soft yellow onesie still tucked into the bottom of his pack.

“I do,” he says, hoping the two little words are enough to hold her, to convince her.

She ducks her head with a watery sigh, close enough for her hair to brush at his chest. “Let me think about it.”

He nods. “Alright, but…not too long, okay? You’re, uh…”

He trails off as the back of his hand touches her stomach, just grazing the fabric over her bellybutton, before dropping back to his side.

She sniffs. “Yeah. I’m well aware we’re on a schedule.”

“Okay…okay then,” he nods, resuming their walk toward town. They’ve almost reached the trading post when she speaks again.

“It’s Sarah, by the way.”

The name takes his breath as it always does, pulls at that black hole in his heart that even Ellie can’t completely fill.

“I don’t under–”

“My middle name,” she sniffs. “You didn’t ask, but…it’s Sarah.”

He doesn’t trust himself to speak, just ducks his chin in a nod. Sarah. Of course it’s Sarah.

“C’mon,” he says. “Let’s get out of the rain.”

That night, she appears on his porch. The rain has let up, but her hair is still damp, matted to her temples. 

“I’ll stay with you,” she says without preamble. “Under one condition.”

He blinks. “Anything.”

“We don’t talk about the kid. No names, no what-ifs…no…playing house. I can’t do any of that,” she says. “We take it one day at a time and…see what happens.”

“If that’s what you want,” he says, swallowing hard.

She nods, satisfied. “Alright. I can bring some stuff by tomorrow.”

“Good. That’d be good. But I uh, need to tell Ellie,” he pauses, thinking. “Can I make dinner for you? For the three of us, I mean?”

She raises an eyebrow.

“Not playin’ house or whatever,” he clarifies, feeling a blush creep up his neck. “Just…figured the news might go down better with food.”

She nods slowly. “I could do that.”

“You like spaghetti? S’Ellie’s favorite and it’s hard for me to fuck it up.”

“I like spaghetti,” she says, smiling a little. “I get off work at six.”

“Tomorrow,” he says. “Six. See you then.”

That night, instead of staring at the ceiling during his usual sleepless hours, he moves most of his clothes into the spare bedroom closet and cleans his stuff out of the attached bathroom.

As he works, he thinks of Charlie’s unbuttoned jeans straining around her womb and the climbing summer temperatures. Soon there would be no hiding her stomach under a jacket or sweater.

Jackson was friendly, but it was still a small town. People got bored and they talked, and anyone who paid attention would have seen Charlie and Joel together. There were already enough rumors about Tommy Miller’s broody older brother and his mysterious adopted daughter, the one who wore long sleeves even on the hottest days and carried a switchblade.

Ellie.

Another pang of guilt gnaws in his gut. He’d done enough damage to their relationship as it was, and now he’s about to drop a fucking bomb.

He finds himself knocking on the garage door the next morning, hands rubbing restlessly at the thighs of his jeans as he waits for her to answer. He realizes it’s been a few days since he’s talked with her beyond a simple “hello” in passing, or to pass the salt at dinner, or to ask where she’d put the TV remote. He chides himself; Ellie is independent by nature, but she’s still a kid, still his responsibility. She’s never going to trust him again if–

She answers the door, rubbing her eyes and blinking owlishly up at him. She looks so young when she first wakes up, hair tousled, sleep lines on her cheeks.

“Hey, I uh…we’re, uh…having dinner at the house tonight. Makin’ your favorite. Spaghetti.”

She raises an eyebrow. Joel doesn’t usually cook if he can help it; the caf is easier and less prone to burning things. “What’s the occasion?”

He swallows hard. “There’s somethin’ I need to talk to you about. And…Charlie will be there.”

“Ooooo-kay,” she yawns. “Love a good third wheel situation, I guess.”

“S’not like that,” he shakes his head. “She’s just a friend.”

“Yeah, I bet,” she smirks, then sighs dramatically. “I guess I can make room in my packed social calendar for dinner. As long as it’s spaghetti. Maria’s sauce, right? ‘Cause yours is…yikes.”

She sticks her tongue out to drive the point home.

He snorts softly. “Yeah. Maria’s sauce. And garlic bread.”

“Cool.”

He nods, and the moment draws itself out, that awful, awkward, twisting silence filled with all the things he can’t say.

“So…was there something else?” she asks. “I gotta get ready for school.”

“No…nope,” he mutters. “I guess not. I’ll see you tonight, kiddo.”

He doesn’t quite burn the garlic bread, but it’s pretty fucking dark. He’s scraping the crumbs into the sink when Charlie appears at the door with a salad in hand and a backpack slung over her shoulder. She’s wearing an oversized blue button-down over soft black leggings. For comfort’s sake, he hopes the jeans have been retired for a while.

“Thanks,” he says, taking the bag, frowning at its weight. “You’re not s’posed to be lifting stuff.”

“I can handle a bag of clothes.”

He grunts, gestures to the salad. “You can put that on the table. Ellie’ll be over in a few.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“You can sit,” he says, perhaps too gruffly, placing her pack by the stairs. On the stove, the reheated marinara starts to bubble, spitting red flecks. He rushes to take it off the heat.

Ellie arrives just as Joel is setting the last bowl on the table. She nods in a wary greeting to Charlie, then helps herself to spaghetti and salad and bread.

“So what’s up?” she asks around a mouthful of food, forgoing any small talk—his kid, through and through.

Joel swallows hard, looks at Charlie, who simply shrugs as if to say this is your show .

He opens his mouth but the words are stubborn and nothing seems right.

You’re going to be a big sister.

Your old man is going to be a dad again.

I fucked up and we’re having a baby.

He’d never had to worry about this with Sarah. On the rare occasion a date went further than dinner, he’d been cautious to a fault. He’d been considering a vasectomy before the pandemic but time and savings were sparse. He probably could have had the procedure done back in the QZ, but Tess had been his only partner, and she’d had a hysterectomy in her thirties. An operation that would put him out of commission for any length of time seemed like an unnecessary waste of ration cards.

He realizes he’s lost in thought, and they’re both watching him, still waiting.

“So, uh…Charlie’s gonna move in with me for a bit,” he says. “I’m givin’ her my room, and I’ll take your old one…if that’s okay.”

Ellie narrows her eyes. “You two aren’t… together ?”

“No,” Joel mutters, meeting Charlie’s eyes across the table. “S’temporary. She just needs a place for a bit.”

“Weird, but…fine with me,” Ellie shrugs, then turns to Charlie. “Joel’s good at taking in strays, it’s kinda his thing. Case in point.”

Charlie smiles a little at this, takes a sip of her water.

“She’s, uh, gonna have a baby,” Joel continues, focused on his plate, pushing the food around.

“Oh shit, congrats!” Ellie grins at Charlie, then looks back at Joel. He can’t meet her eyes.

There’s a heavy silence. Joel grips his fork until the design in the handle makes an imprint in his palm. He waits for Ellie to do what she does so well, to pick up the hints, put the pieces together, and say the things he can’t.

“Wait,” Ellie says, looking back and forth between them, mouth dropping open in a scandalized O .

“You didn’t—”

She coughs then, choking on a mouthful of food, and fumbles frantically for her water glass.

“Joel,” she says when she can speak again. “Tell me you didn’t.”

All he can offer is a tiny shrug.

“Holy shit ,” she breathes, fork clattering to her plate. “You slut !”

Not for the first time, Joel wishes she had a proper full name–Elspeth, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Eliza–anything that, combined with a solid middle name, made for a convincing and forceful reprimand.

“Sarah Elizabeth Miller” was always effective when his first kid was being a little shit, even if he rarely had to use it.

As it is, he can only growl Ellie’s short-and-sweet name under his breath and watch it roll right off her back. She doesn’t miss a beat.

“Wow, I can’t…I mean, you just said you weren’t even together –”

“We’re not,” he grates out. “It was a…a one-time thing.”

His face is so hot, he can practically feel the vein throbbing at his temple. He wonders if his second kid will give him a fucking aneurysm before his third kid can even be born.

“Thanks for that, now I need to bleach my fucking brain,” she says. “Gross. So, so gross. Dude, you’re like, sixty .”

“I’m fifty-seven,” he grumbles.

“Yeah, so really fucking old . Do you not know how babies are made ? FEDRA school was shit but even they taught us how to put on a fucking condom—”

“Ellie, we didn’t—“

“Don’t, dude. Just stop. You’re really fucked up, you know that? Like, I know I have issues, but this is fuckin’—”

She’s interrupted by a muffled snort from the other side of the table. Charlie has clapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes are brimming with tears. She’s going to fucking cry because his kid is an asshole and he is an even bigger asshole and this has gone all fifteen kinds of wrong.

Joel would like to die, right now, face down in a plate of spaghetti with his face the color of marinara—anything to end this godawful conversation.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie gasps, and it dawns on him that she’s not crying at all–she’s struggling not to laugh. “I’m so sorry. It’s just, I haven’t–this is just–holy shit .”

She breaks out into a peal of giggles, leaving both Joel and Ellie in stunned silence.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, heaving and hiccuping as she tries to catch her breath. “Everything has been so awful and serious and…this is just so…so…fucking funny –”

Ellie blinks, looking back and forth between Joel and Charlie in wide-eyed amazement.

Something in Joel’s chest unfurls from its tight, anxious knot, and when he meets Charlie’s eyes, he can’t help but return her grin.

“You two are fucked ,” Ellie pronounces, but there’s a slow smile spreading across her face.

“We are,” Joel agrees. “We’re fucked.”

“Totally fucked,” Charlie agrees, then giggles again.

Ellie shakes her head in disbelief, digging back into her spaghetti. “Welcome to the fucking family, I guess.”

Joel shows up for work the next day feeling lighter than he has in weeks. He’d finally slept . Ellie, while completely disgusted, hadn’t disowned him; she’d even hugged him before returning to the garage. And Charlie had made herself at home, joining him on the couch to watch a movie after dinner.

Maybe this could fucking work.

His newfound peace lasts about as long as it takes for Tommy to find him and clap him on the shoulder.

“What’s this I hear about you takin’ in strays?”

Joel scowls, picking up an extension cord and trying to untangle it from a pile of the things. “Don’t believe everythin’ you hear.”

“So Charlie isn’t shackin’ up with you, then?”

“S’not like that. It’s temporary.”

“Uh-huh.”

He shoots his brother a look over his shoulder, weighing his options. The rumor mill isn’t churning as fast as he thought or Tommy would be all over it by now. He rolls his eyes, knowing what comes next will be just about as bearable as a tooth extraction, aware he can’t put it off any longer.

“She’s gonna have a kid.”

“Right,” Tommy snorts. “Your kid?”

Joel turns and holds his brother’s gaze.

“Holy shit,” Tommy breathes. “You’re serious?”

“You’re gonna be an uncle again,” Joel says dryly.

Tommy whistles. “Well, don’t that just beat all. How the hell–”

“The usual way,” Joel grumbles, turning back to his work. “Can we not do this here?”

But Tommy has never been easily deterred. He practically launches himself at his brother for a bone-crushing hug while half the work crew looks on, bemused.

“Christ, get offa me.”

Tommy doesn’t. When he finally pulls away, grinning and gripping Joel’s shoulders, he’s almost teary-eyed.

“Maria’s gonna be thrilled.”

“I doubt it,” Joel mutters, thinking he’s already not held in high esteem by his sister-in-law. Knocking up a girl twenty years his junior is hardly going to redeem him.

“Does Ellie know?”

“Yeah, we told her last night. She’s…about as excited as you’d expect.”

“Damn. I can’t—I mean, I always thought—after—“

Tommy sobers, and the word lingers heavy between them.

After .

“I know,” Joel says, realizing with a dull ache that his brother is the only other person alive who understands the gravity of the situation…the only one who knew Sarah as more than a sad story in their history.

Joel closes his eyes and sees his brother at twenty, Sarah’s tiny arms wrapped around his neck as she clings to his back, laughing wildly as he dives through the sprinklers on the front lawn.

He blinks the memory away, busies himself with the extension cord again. He doesn’t even remember what he wanted it for, but he needs to do something with his hands.

“But it’s good, right? This is good,” Tommy says, finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” Joel swallows hard. “It’s good.”

Tommy grins, then frowns just as quickly. “Oh, man. The midwife–”

“Yeah, she’s awful.”

“Maria damn near killed her when Izzy was born.”

“‘Bout ready to myself,” Joel mutters.

“And…you and Charlie ain’t…?”

Joel glares at him in answer. 

“Alright, brother. Damn, man. A kid…and at your age…”

Tommy laughs and ducks just in time to avoid the extension cord as it whips by his head.

[cheynovak]

A Soldier's past

Soldier boy x F/Reader  

Warnings:  none I guess

Side note: English isn’t my first language.   

*Does not follow the boys timeline* 

--

Y/N is a museum clerk at the old Vought Museum on the edge of town. The only and old exhibition about Soldier Boy standing will end in a few weeks, Vought found a new purpose for the museum. Meaning the exhibition will end and Y/N will need to search for a new job. 

She takes one last tour around the museum before locking it down, seeing a man in the shadows.  

-- 

Y/N sighed as she gazed around the dimly lit museum hall.  

The old exhibition about soldier boy came to an end, marking the end of an era for the museum and for her. She had spent countless hours organizing artifacts, answering questions from curious visitors, and preserving the stories of brave men who had fought in the war.  

She started as a college student but became more and more invested in Soldier Boys past. Getting to know the man behind the mask. When she eventually got her degree Vought offered her a fulltime managers function. Which she accepted with pride.  

As the clock struck midnight, signalling the end of a long last day, Y/N decided to open the museum till now, hoping some last costumers would step in to say goodbye. But per usual, the rooms were empty part from one high school tour in the morning.  

She had known this was to happen, fewer and fewer people came to see him, schools went to see the new museum where all of Vought's greatest heroes were presented.  

With a heavy heart she takes one last tour of the exhibition before locking up for the night. The soft glow of the display lights cast yellow shadows on the walls, giving the room an otherworldly feel.  

She loved to walk around after closing time. As she walked among the relics of battles gone by, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of melancholy that hung heavy in the air. These artifacts told stories of courage and sacrifice, but they also held memories of loss and pain. 

Lost in thought, Y/N almost didn't notice the figure lurking in the shadows near the back of the hall. It was a man, tall and imposing, his features obscured by darkness. Instinctively, Y/N's hand went to the panic button on her belt, but something stopped her. 

"Hello? Sir... are you okay?" she called out, her voice echoing in the empty hall. 

The figure stirred, stepping forward into the light. 

He stood tall, his muscular frame evident even beneath the fabric of his green jacket. Broad shoulders tapered down to a trim waist, giving him an aura of strength and athleticism. 

The dim light of the exhibition hall cast shadows across his rugged face, accentuating the sharp angles of his jawline. His eyes, green, once bright with determination, now held a world of pain and regret, their intensity piercing through the darkness. 

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as she recognized him, how could she not... It was Soldier Boy, the legendary hero whose exploits were immortalized in the exhibition. 

As their eyes met across the silent expanse of the exhibition hall.  

"I'm fine," he muttered, his voice heavy with sorrow. "Just needed a place to... forget." 

Y/N found herself drawn towards Soldier Boy, her footsteps echoing softly against the polished marble floors. With each step, the distance between them narrowed, until finally, they stood mere inches apart. "Forget what?" 

"Forget everything," he replied turning back to his statue, his voice barely above a whisper. "The battles, the bloodshed, the lives lost... the pain I've had over the years.”  

As his heavy words lingered in the stillness of the exhibition hall, a sudden interruption broke the fragile silence. The ringing of the phone echoed through the room, its shrill tones startling Y/N, her heart racing as she realized she had neglected her duties.  

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her voice tinged with regret. "I need to answer that. I should make sure the doors are locked too. Soldier Boy nodded in understanding, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features. "Of course," he replied, his tone resigned. 

Y/N offered him a reassuring smile saying he was welcome to stay as long as he needed, before hurrying towards the reception desk, her footsteps echoing against the polished marble floors again. With trembling hands, she picked up the receiver, her heart pounding in her chest. 

"Hello?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

On the other end of the line, a familiar voice greeted her, its warmth a welcome balm to her nerves. It was her colleague, Sarah, calling to check in before the end of her last shift. 

Y/N quickly assured her that everything was fine, offering a brief explanation for her delayed response. After confirming that the doors were securely locked and the museum was empty, she bid Sarah farewell. 

As she hung up the phone, Y/N felt a sense of relief wash over her. With the doors secured and her duties fulfilled, she could finally devote her full attention to Soldier Boy, the mysterious stranger who had stumbled into her life on this fateful night 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat with worry as she returned to the exhibition hall, only to find it empty. Panic in her mind, hoping he didn’t leave, as she scanned the dimly lit room, searching for any sign of him, her eyes darting from one shadowy corner to the next. And then, amidst the flickering glow of the display lights, she saw him. 

Soldier Boy stood before a massive painting, his gaze fixed upon the canvas with a mixture of reverence and regret. The painting, his team, Payback, frozen in time like ghosts from another era. 

Y/N approached cautiously, her heart heavy with concern for the troubled hero. She could sense the weight of his memories pressing down upon him, threatening to consume him in their relentless grip. 

"Soldier Boy," she called out softly, her voice a gentle whisper in the stillness of the night. Y/N stepped closer, her hand reaching out instinctively to touch his arm. "Are you alright?" she asked, her voice filled with genuine concern. 

“Hm” was all he reacted, she saw his emotions in his eyes. Piercing at the painting. "What happened in 1983?" She asked him. 

Soldier Boy's gaze flickered with a mixture of emotions as he turned to face her. There was a haunted look in his eyes, a sadness that seemed to stretch on for eternity. Anger blazing through those beautiful green eyes.  

“These fuckers betrayed me. Vought betrayed me. Made me a fucking lap rat for the Russians. After all I did for those fuckers.” He turned back at the painting. She could see the pain etched into every line of his face, the weight of his regrets pressing down upon him like a heavy burden. 

"Is that why you're here?" she asked gently, her voice filled with compassion. "To confront the ghosts of your past?" Soldier Boy nodded solemnly, his gaze still on the painting of his team. "I thought coming here would help me find closure," he admitted. 

Y/N reached out a comforting hand, her fingers brushing against his arm. "Sometimes, confronting our past is the only way to find peace," she offered softly.  

“What are you doing here?” He asks stern. Y/N took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding, her gaze meeting Soldier Boy's. She gestured towards the surrounding exhibition hall, the artifacts and relics of wars long past serving as a testament to her words. 

"This museum holds a special place in my heart," she continued, her tone turning more serious. "It's a sanctuary of sorts, a place where the echoes of history can still be heard if you listen closely enough." 

He rolls his eyes. “This are pieces of shit and dirt. Half of it isn’t even real.” His words made her feel a sting in her chest, a sense of pride swelling within her. "I like to think it is of import," she replied, her smile widening.  

"Every artifact, every story... they all have a part to play in shaping our understanding of the world and our place in it." “Is that why they are shutting it down.” It wasn’t even a question. 

"Let me give you a grand tour," Y/N offered with a warm smile, gesturing toward the museum's exhibits. Soldier Boy chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with a hint of mischief. "I know my history, doll," he replied, a touch of playful arrogance in his tone. 

Y/N arched an eyebrow, her lips curving into a teasing grin. "Fine then, let me tell you what I see when I tell your story," she countered, her voice tinged with a challenge. 

And so, they went on a journey through time, with Y/N serving as the guide and Soldier Boy as the reluctant but intrigued traveller. With each artifact they encountered and every story they uncovered, Y/N wove a tapestry of Soldier Boy's past, painting a vivid portrait of his journey through the ages. 

She spoke of his triumphs and his failures, his moments of heroism and his moments of weakness. She delved into the depths of his soul, exploring the complexities of his character and the struggles he faced along the way. 

As they walked, Soldier Boy listened intently, his gaze fixed upon Y/N with a newfound sense of appreciation. He found himself increasingly captivated by Y/N's passion for this place. 

 He saw himself reflected in her words, not just as a larger-than-life hero, but as a flawed and vulnerable human being searching for meaning in a world fraught with uncertainty. 

Her enthusiasm was infectious, igniting a spark within him that he hadn't felt in years. He watched in awe as she spoke, her eyes alight with excitement. It was as if she breathed life into the artifacts.  

In that moment, amidst the hallowed halls of history, Soldier Boy found himself drawn to Y/N in a way he hadn't expected. Her passion, her knowledge, her unwavering dedication, it all spoke to something deep within him, stirring feelings he hadn't dared to acknowledge. 

She knew him without knowing him. The real him, and yet isn’t scared. 

And as the tour drew to a close, Y/N turned to Soldier Boy with a smile, her eyes alight with excitement. "So, what do you think?" she asked, a note of anticipation in her voice. 

Soldier Boy chuckled softly, attempting to lighten the mood with a playful remark. "Well, I must admit, you certainly know your stuff," he teased, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You are either a nerd or some sort of paid stalker, creepy.” 

His attempt at humour masked a deeper truth, he was afraid to let Y/N see just how much he had enjoyed listening to her. The vulnerability of opening up to someone, his emotions behind a facade of strength and stoicism. 

But as he watched Y/N's smile falter ever so slightly, a pang of regret pierced through his jest. He realized that his attempt at humour had fallen flat, and he cursed himself for his lack of tact.   

“I’m sorry. I asked too much of your time. I’ll leave you to it.” She said before making her way back to the front desk. He watched walking away.  

Soldier Boy's footsteps echoed softly in the museum as he made his way to the front desk where Y/N stood, her gaze still fixed on the ground with a hint of disappointment. 

Clearing his throat, Soldier Boy took a deep breath to steady his nerves before speaking. "I'm sorry," he began, his voice gentle yet filled with sincerity. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad.” 

Y/N looked up, her eyes meeting his with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. "You don't need to apologize," she replied softly. "I understand."  

“I realize I never asked for your name." He said still trying to meet her eye.  

Y/N's lips curved into a small smile, touched by his gesture. "It's Y/N," she answered, her voice warm. "Y/N," Soldier Boy repeated, the name rolling off his tongue like a whispered promise. "Thank you, Y/N, for everything. " 

He hung over the desk. “I’m Ben.” “I know” she said, now looking in his green eyes. 

With one last smile, Soldier Boy turned to leave but decided not to. Turning back towards Y/N, who still stood behind the front desk, he found himself unable to walk away just yet. The thought of leaving without knowing when he might see her again felt like a missed opportunity he couldn't bear. 

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he found himself asking, the words tumbling out before he could fully process them. Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, a hint of curiosity flickering in her gaze. "Um, nothing in particular," she replied, a touch of uncertainty “It’s my last night here.” 

"Would you...” A nervous energy coursed through Soldier Boy's veins as he searched for the right words to say. “Like to grab dinner with me? 

Her eyes grew wide “Me?” He nodded slow. “You don’t have to... I mean you don’t own me or need to make up or something.” Mischief dancing in his eyes as he looked at her with a playful grin. His gaze lingered on her, taking in every detail from the way her hair fell to her soft plump lips. 

"I love your stories, doll," he said, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “I want to hear more.” Y/N couldn't help but blush at the compliment, feeling a warmth spread through her cheeks. 

“So, dinner it is?” He asks. 

“I’d love to.”  

-- 

What do you think... Do we need to continue this story? Or is the idea of having a date with Soldier boy enough?  

[anniemika]

Lost and Found

Eren Jaeger x Female reader

Chapter 1: Past and Present

Chapter summary:

After deciding to come home and try to fix the mess he made seven years ago, famous musician Eren Jaeger finds that not all things are as he left them behind.

Words: 2.9k

Prologue Chapter 2

…..

Eren Jaeger had forgotten what it felt like to be nervous.

Spending so much time on stage, in front of thousands of people, was sure to make you numb to the feeling. Alcohol and substances were a great help, too. Meshing them together was bound to bring success.

He wasn’t on either of those now, but his heart pumped like he hadn’t stopped for days.

The 26-year old man took a deep breath as he stood outside of his father's doorstep. The mix of excitement and apprehension was almost too much to bare. It had been exactly seven years since he’d last seen him, and he wasn't sure what to expect. Although, he was sure joy wasn’t one of the emotions he was about to see on his father’s face. He rang the doorbell once, then stepped back, his face down at his feet. Jaw clenched, fists balled. He was nervous alright.

A few moments later, the door swung open, and Eren raised his head up.

There he was, in the flesh. His father. Grisha Jaeger. The wrinkles on his face were deeper, his hair was thinner, but overall.. he hadn’t changed that much.

The man’s eyes widened, blinking a few times, like he was trying to make sure that the person who stood in front of him was truly his son.

"Eren?," he finally muttered, his son’s name sounding almost foreign to him.

Eren felt a lump form in his throat. “Hey, dad.” When was the last time he said those words? “Long time no see," he said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

The older man remained quiet for a while, the shock still evident on his features, "When did you come back?”

“Just the other day. I’m staying at a hotel downtown.”

An inevitable quietness settled, as Eren watched his dad try his best to comprehend everything.

“I- I was around the neighborhood, and I thought..”, the attempt of making his appearance out of the blue seem natural crashed down as soon as he spoke the words. He hadn’t been here in seven years. Not sevens days, not weeks. Years.

“I see.” Grisha’s tone was low, not emitting any type of warmth. Not that Eren expected any. “Well, then.. Come on in, I suppose.”

Eren looked at his dad like he wasn’t supposed to let him in so easily. He realized that deep down, he expected to be rejected, just like he rejected him all those years ago. But nonetheless, as soon as he stepped inside the house, he was instantly hit with a wave of memories. The smell of his mother's cooking, the sound of his father's laughter, the feel of the carpet under his feet. It was all so familiar, yet so different. Like it was just yesterday, yet so long ago.

The younger man walked through the house, taking in the changes that had been made over the years. The furniture was different, the walls had been painted a new color, and some of the pictures had been taken down. It was clear that life had gone on without him.

“Go in the kitchen. I’ll make us some coffee.”

His father’s voice echoed through the hallway as Eren took step after step. The emotions hit him like a truck. He thought he was ready for this, but boy, was it tough.

When he reached the kitchen, the image of his mother instantly flooded his brain. He remembered her standing over the old stove, stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce while he sat at the table, writing songs instead of doing his homework. He remembered the smell of freshly baked cookies, the sound of his mother’s soothing voice, and the warmth of her embrace. This was her space, and Eren was happy his father hadn’t touched a thing in it.

“Hasn’t changed much since she left it, huh?” Grisha asked while reaching for some coffee mugs from the upper kitchen shelves.

“Yeah.. it hasn’t.” The dark-haired boy replied, still looking around the room like it was the first time he was seeing it.

“Take a seat.” His father instructed before pouring the freshly made coffee into the mugs.

Eren sat down on one chair, while his father sat on the opposite side of the table. Silence crept up again, as the younger man tried to find the words to begin. His arms were on the table, his face down. He felt like he was 15 again, having to answer before his parents for coming home late. Although he’d much prefer having to deal with that a hundred times over, than having to deal with this once.

“So, Eren.” Grisha started, his dark eyes on his son, “What made you come visit after all this time?”

What made him come back? Starting with the real questions. Questions that Eren thought he was prepared for.

“Look, dad”, his voice was weak, still not having enough courage to look his father in the eyes, “I know that it’s probably too late to say this, but.. I wanted to come here and tell you that.. I’m sorry.”

Grisha stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. Eren thought that he must’ve sensed how hard this was for him.

“I’m sorry about everything.. I’m sorry I abandoned you.” Saying the words out loud cut like a knife. “It was just.. I was stupid. Too stupid. And wrong. I was so wrong, and you were right. And I know that it must mean nothing right now, but.. I just wanted you to know that.” He finally looked up at his father’s face, “I’m sorry.”

The older man didn’t say a word. He just stared at his son, reading his face.

Eren felt the need to continue, “I- I shouldn’t have left like that, without saying goodbye. I should’ve called you, kept in touch. I know I messed up.”

After a few seconds, Grisha crossed his arms over his chest. "You're damn right you messed up. You left everything behind, without a word. You didn't care about anyone but yourself."

Eren flinched at his father's words, but he knew that he deserved them. "I know that. I was selfish, and I didn't think about the consequences of my actions. But I'm here now, and.. I really want to make things right."

Grisha let out a bitter laugh, “You want to “make things right”? Eren, it’s been how many.. seven years? But I suppose with your way of living, they might as well have been a few months.”

Another silence. Eren wanted to disappear. The words “you deserve worse than this” echoed in his mind.

His thoughts went to a dark place. What if something had happened to his dad? What if he’d needed him and there was no one else he could turn to? In the seven years that he’d been gone, he was sure there were moments when his father needed him the most but had to live with the thought that his only son had abandoned him. Those thoughts brought an instant headache, along with the inevitable regret and anger he’d been living with for so long.

“I know I can’t fix the past. It’s there, and it’s never going away. But I do want you to know that I’ve spent my fair share of being miserable.” He shared a quick look with the older man, then continued to stare at a little crack on the wooden table. It’d become his comfort zone throughout this entire conversation. “There were times when I wanted to call you, come home.. but then the shame made me decide against it. And then one day,” he took a deep, exhausted breath, “I realized I couldn’t do it any longer, so.. here I am.”

Grisha fixed his glasses, then continued to stare into his son’s piercing green eyes. Or were they blue? He never could figure it out.

“Here you are.” He repeated the words, and the reality of them made Eren want to pinch himself. He was really here, in his old house. Talking to his father. It felt surreal until now. “Eren.. I truly want to believe you’ve realized the severity of your actions. And if that’s true, I’m happy for you. You’re my son.” The word made Eren draw the tiniest smile. He hadn’t heard that in years. “But it’s not so easy. You can’t just waltz back in and expect everything to be okay after the mess you left.”

“I don’t expect it to.”

“That’s good.” Grisha took a quick sip of his coffee, “Because it won’t be. You’ve hurt a lot of people.”

Oh, how Eren knew that.

“I know. Trust me, I do.”

“Well, then, if that's true.. maybe you aren’t as hopeless as I thought.”

Eren nodded his head, eyes focused on the black coffee in front of him, “Thank you, dad. Really, I don’t deserve you even talking to me right now. You’re too kind to me.”

“I’m not kind. I’m old. And I only have one son.“

Eren couldn't help but chuckle at his father's response. "Well, I'm lucky to have an old man like you then."

Grisha rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. "Don't push it, kid.”

And just like that, Eren felt like he was a teenager again. He truly didn’t deserve his old man.

Another silence settled, but this time, it was a more comfortable one. The two men stood there, father and son, both thinking about what could’ve been.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, dad,” Eren spoke after a while. The need to get the guilt off his chest was too much to handle, and he thought now was the right time to acknowledge it.

“Yes, you have.” Grisha nodded his head slowly, “Leaving Y/n was the biggest one.”

Eren’s whole body stiffened. He didn’t expect his father to be the one to bring the subject. In a way, he was kind of thankful. Uttering your name was hard enough for him.

“You had a good thing with her, Eren. A really good thing.”

Eren’s jaw clenched. He deserved to hear it, not only think it.

“Why’d you throw it all away?”

It was a genuine question, without any malicious intent. And still.. he felt the weight of the words. He knew that he had no one to blame but himself.

“I don't know," and with his voice tinged with sadness, it was a genuine answer, "I was young and stupid. I thought I could have it all."

Grisha set his eyes on his son, no longer a boy, but a grown man. He noticed that in the past couple of years, he had begun to look a lot more like him. When he was younger, he was a carbon copy of his mother. He still had her eyes, though. That was never going to change. "Listen, Eren,” he spoke firmly, “I don't know if you can make it all right.. But you can start by making better choices for your life. That’s what Carla and I always wanted for you.”

Eren's eyes widened at the mention of his mother's name. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest, knowing that she would’ve been so disappointed with his life choices. "I know. I still want to make her proud. I want to.. become the man that she taught me to be."

Grisha looked at his son for a long moment, studying him carefully. "Alright then. But remember”, he stood up from his seat, collecting his coffee mug, “It’s not just about making things right with everyone else. It's also about making things right with yourself. You have to be at peace with the choices you've made, and you have to be willing to move forward."

Eren nodded, feeling a sense of gratitude towards his father that he hadn’t felt for anyone in years. The first sincere conversation he’s had in a long time. "Thank you, dad. I will."

And forward, he would move. The first step had been taken.

…..

Time moved faster than anything else in the world, relentless and unforgiving, and with it, everything changed. The world spun on its axis, the seasons came and went, and people grew older as well. Nothing stayed the same forever, and that was the nature of life.

Eren felt a sense of nostalgia come over him as he drove through the familiar streets of his hometown.

As he drove past the old diner he used to go all the time with his family and friends, he couldn't help but smile. It was still there, just as he remembered it. The same neon sign, the same red and white checkered tablecloths. It was like stepping back in time.

But as he continued down the road, he noticed how some things were never going to be the same again. The old hardware store that he used to visit with his father was now a trendy coffee shop, complete with outdoor seating and a fancy espresso machine. He couldn't help but shake his head at the irony.

And then, as he walked into the local grocery shop, the one he and his mom used to shop at every week, he realized that it was possible to stay the same, but also go through change. His footsteps echoed on the well-worn floor as he inspected the rows thoroughly. The fresh produce was now positioned at the front of the store, with the intent of driving people to be healthier. The rows of canned goods had been moved to the middle, and the alcohol section which his dad loved to choose from had been moved to the back. And then, there were the things that looked just as he remembered them. More precisely, the bakery sections with their mouth-watering treats.

As he walked past them, he wondered about your favorite dessert. You used to come here together, and with your big sweet tooth, he remembered how you used to watch the treats with hearts in your eyes. He wondered if they still sold the same chocolate cake with strawberry filling that you used to love.

Lost in thought, he didn't notice that someone was walking towards him until it was too late. Eren stumbled backward, almost knocking over a display of apples. "I'm sorry," he said, looking up to see who he had bumped into.

He swore his heart could’ve stopped right then and there.

The person he'd spent the last seven years longing for, the one that had haunted his dreams every night, was now standing in front of him, looking as stunning as ever. You.. you were exactly the same. Your hair was now shorter, with a couple of hairs framing your pretty forehead, but other than that, it was like he was back seven years ago. You had a simple white sundress on, that showcased your collarbones and slender shoulders. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The one he had let slip through his fingers. His dreams could never do you justice.

"Y/n..,” he muttered, still in shock.

You looked up, your pretty eyes going wider as you took in the image of him, like you’d just seen a ghost, "..Eren?”

Frozen in place, his heart was palpitating as he struggled to process the sight before him. However, his surprise was multiplied when he saw a little girl clutching to your hand, with a tiny dress resembling yours, and a cute little bow on top of her head.

Eren, too stunned to speak anything with a little bit of sense in it, exchanged looks with the little girl. She had dark hair and the most striking eyes he had ever seen.

"Who’s this?", he asked, not leaving his eyes off her.

You visibly swallowed, taking a moment to comprehend his question, "This- this is Lily."

His tongue was tied inside his mouth like he had forgotten how to speak. He had always imagined a reunion with you, but never in a million years did he expect this.

“Is she..?” Eren didn’t know exactly what he was asking, but he knew he needed some kind of answer.

You looked back at the little girl, who was questioningly staring back at Eren, “Yes.. she’s mine.”

He had to take a small step back.

You had a kid.

“I’m sorry.” He said weakly like he’d run a thousand miles. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"It's fine," You replied, voice cold and distant. The shock that you’d felt had now visibly turned into frustration, "We have to go now."

Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked away, the little girl still clutching your hand. He watched you go, feeling a mix of emotions - shock, confusion, sadness.. and happiness. Happiness that he’d finally seen you in the flesh, and not in his dreams.

He couldn't ignore one thing, though. That little girl.. She looked.. No, it couldn't be. Eren stood there, too dumbfounded to move.

When he found the strength to walk back to his car, his mind was racing. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say. But he knew that he had to be patient, that he couldn't rush things.

At the end of the day, he didn’t know how many hours he’d spent driving around town with his car. What he did know, was that something important happened today. Something that was probably going to change his life forever.

…..

A/N: Hiii<3 So, the idea for this story is inspired by a movie I watched a few weeks back. If anyone’s watched it, you may find quite a few similarities, but that would be only in this and the next chapter. I just love the idea so so much, and I couldn’t help but imagine it with Eren. I also decided not to make Grisha a bad father just like in every AoT fic I’ve ever read lol. I hope you like it. I’ll try to post the next one soon.💙

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If you want to be added, please say so.:)

[mothwingwritings]

When The Smoke Clears

F! Reader X Katsumi Orochi

What’s this?! A Katsumi fic where he is the central focus and has all your love without anyone trying to fuck with your relationship?! It’s more likely than you think. (☞⌐▀͡ ͜ʖ͡▀ )☞

I had forgotten I had written it until I was looking over some old drafts that I started forever ago and never finished. I unearthed this little number that I vaguely remember writing in a fit of passion after originally reading Katsumi’s fight with Pickle. It may be my favorite Baki fight thus far and filled me with all the emotions, so this was born from that lol. And now that the anime released, what a perfect time to finish and post it! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ – ✧) Thanks past me and my horrible memory! :D

That being said, since it deals with post battle bullshit, it is a little angsty and you do pop off on Katsumi a little bit in this one. But other than that I just wanted to make something on the sweeter side for our dear boy. He deserves all the love and affection, dammit! 😤 I made it a bit mushy and maybe Katsumi is sorta OOC but to be honest… August has been dreadful and I think I needed it that way to keep me from completely losing it. ^^;

I hope you all enjoy~!

Warnings: Mentions of violence/gore, spoilers up through the Pickle fight w/Katsumi, some language, white lies, you are mean to Katsumi for a lil tiny bit but it’s just cause you are worried. :<

Katsumi Orochi has always been a horrible liar.

He would slightly scrunch his nose when eating something he disliked, while telling the chef he thought it was delicious. His face would noticeably tighten whenever someone was annoying him, even though he acted like they weren’t a bother at all. His shoulders would sag when he didn’t meet his daily goal, though he’d shrug it off and act like it was no big deal.  When he hadn’t done as well as he had hoped during a tournament placing, he’d always don a bright smile and laugh it off by saying there was always time to improve.

Maybe those excuses worked on other people, but you knew him far too well for them to fool you. Katsumi knew you could see right through him and that any attempts at concealing his true feelings were pointless. So it was only in the privacy of your shared home that he let his guard down, letting you truly experience how his self-perceived short comings broke him down.

These moments of self-doubt seemed to be happening more frequently in the past few weeks, specifically since news of Pickle hit the general population. Pickle’s arrival stirred something in the fighters of Shinshinkai Dojo, and try as he might to convince you otherwise, Katsumi was not exempt from this excitement. He always was a cocky man, often times too arrogant for his own good, and the thrill of besting a beast like Pickle was a siren song he could not ignore.

However his cocksure attitude and the exuberance he had for fighting was a double edged sword, often also being the instigator of the ruts he would find himself in. Through his life he had garnered a fair mix of friends and enemies alike- Admirers who were rooting for him and despisers who were praying for his downfall, all inexorably drawn to his proud aura. It wasn’t until Retsu had easily defeated him in the Maximum tournament that a major change sparked within Katsumi. Though admittedly for the better (nothing opens your eyes to your own faults quite like getting your ass handed to you), the total thrashing he had received at the hands of his friend opened his eyes to what was stunting him previously. It was a hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one to shape him into the man he is now.

But the entirety of his doubt would not be quelled so easily, and it remained festering in his heart to this day. The challenge Pickle posed excited him, but also daunted him. The conflicting feelings irritated him, igniting him with the desire to attack, but fettering him from doing so.

When he got like this, no one experienced his lows and frustrations quite like you did. Katsumi’s anger and disappointment at his own limitations had a way of pouring out of him and spilling into you, making his torment become your own. In public it was so easy to get thrown off by his nonchalance and easy smile, his gusto so great that even if you were able to pick up on the turmoil that lied beneath it, it was easy for him to get you to believe he was OK and move on. 

But when you were alone at night and he was lying in your arms, lulled to sleep by the caress of your hand, it broke your heart to hear his whispered apologies. That he could be better and WOULD be better for you. Your gentle assurances that he was already your hero, that you loved him and no amount of losses or wins would change that, always seemed to fall on deaf ears. It ate you up inside to hear him speak so badly of himself. Since day one you had been his most ardent supporter, whatever flaws or negative self-critiques he had that he believed were imposing on your life were purely in his head.

How many times had you told him his feelings of inadequacy as a lover and provider to you were all nothing more than cruel lies his own brain concocted? You wished he would believe you, get it through his thick skull so that he could have one less thing to fret over. All you ever asked or expected of Katsumi was his love and honesty, and those you had unconditionally.

At least, you had until this morning.

Though usually an early riser, he got up sooner than normal, dressed and ready at the very crack of dawn. Smiling down on you as the sun was just beginning to peek through your bedroom window, he brushed your hair away from your sleep ridden face. He was typically eager to get up and go, but today he lingered in your presence, peppering your face and head with soft kisses. Taking full advantage of your barely woken state to express his love, it both warmed your heart and confused you. Katsumi was well aware you could be quite the grump in the morning so he usually avoided giving you too much attention too early, concerned that he may fully wake and irritate you. His slightly obtrusive presence was out of character, and you couldn’t help but be further roused by it.

“I’m leaving a bit early today love,” his whisper tickled your ear, causing you to hunch your shoulders. He chuckled, placing one more kiss on your temple. “…Thank you for sticking by my side. You deserve only happiness throughout your life.”

In your sleepy haze you almost felt you had dreamed his words, but as you squinted at him in the bedroom doorway, the look on his face filled you with concern. He kept his eyes trained on you, staring at you as if they were looking at something very far away. They held a wistful glimmer typically reserved only for painful goodbyes, and paired with the crooked smile on his lips, you couldn’t help feeling that if you let Katsumi leave now, you would regret it the rest of your life.

“Katsu?” You slowly pushed yourself up into a seated position, rubbing the grogginess from your eyes in the process. “Where are you going this early?”

When you turned your full attention back to the door, he was gone.

You dragged yourself out of bed, calling out for him as you padded around the entire apartment. Your cries remained unanswered, as did calls and texts to his cell phone, which made sense when you discovered he had left his phone discarded on the kitchen table.

Seating yourself at the table, you rested your chin in your palm, eying his phone with trepidation. Katsumi wasn’t one of those people who were glued to their phone, if anything he griped at you for how much time you spent on yours. But still, to leave so abruptly, without any means to contact him directly and little explanation to where he was headed… It wasn’t like Katsumi at all.

Distantly, you heard the TV in the background. You must have forgotten to turn it off before you headed to bed yesterday, the volume just quiet enough to blend in as background noise. The usually obnoxious banter of the morning news came as a welcome change today, the sound of other voices keeping you from feeling totally abandoned.  Your eyes flicked to the screen, a ‘breaking story’ about Pickle the hot topic again this morning.

You hadn’t been too keen on the Pickle hype from the get go. You understood it, sure. It was extremely exciting to discover such an intact specimen of humanity from a time when dinosaurs walked the earth, and even more astounding that they were able to revive him, get him up walking and interacting with people and his environment. You were just as tuned in as the rest of the planet, intrigued to hear what breakthroughs and discoveries come from reanimating this prehistoric man.

At the same time however, you couldn’t help feel disgusted over what a media circus his awakening had caused. From the initial live on air assault of that female reporter, to the subsequent late night talk shows hosting a multitude of specials on the moral standpoint of his existence, it all felt dirty to you. You couldn’t help but feel bad for Pickle in most instances. Alone in a foreign world he didn’t understand, surrounded by swarms of people requesting things of him he couldn’t comprehend, it must be an incredibly bewildering and lonely life. You felt equally bad for the people he unintentionally hurt, damaged (sometimes irrevocably) by simply coming in contact with someone so feral.

And that is what put you off about Pickle the most, was how dangerous he was.

Not that he was a direct threat to you, per se, but as soon as news of him hit the media, the entire dojo was abuzz. He was all anyone could seem to talk about or focus on. His strength, his combat style, what it would feel like to fight him. The conversations reminded you of children on the playground coming up with pretend battle scenarios with their friends, their eyes lighting up as they discussed it during warm ups and spars. The first of the group to be truly captivated was Retsu, which took you by surprise. Retsu is one of the most disciplined men you know, so to see him become so single mindedly obsessed over one fight with a single opponent was disconcerting to you.

Curiosity was expected, but all-encompassing obsession could drive people to do unfortunate things, and that was the mindset that encompassed the men around you.

You weren’t thrilled when you learned a whole squad of fighters (Retsu, Katsumi and Doppo amongst them) had broken into a heavily monitored government facility just to come in contact with Pickle, especially when you found out the extent of their plan was ‘get in, find Pickle, fight’. You and Natsue made sure to give them all an earful they weren’t soon to forget when they returned.

You had a hard time comprehending their thought process. Was it worth risking getting arrested for potentially the rest of your life for the chance to battle one person? They all turned rather sheepish under your scolding, but their unified response only boiled down to ‘you just wouldn’t understand.’ You didn’t deny this; there was plenty in the world of fighting you had a hard time empathizing with. But that sentiment could go both ways, because you were positive they couldn’t begin to fathom the myriad of emotions that flowed through you as you watched their walk of shame back to the dojo, knowing  that should it come down to it, they left ready to die at Pickle’s hands. Did they even consider how their loss may affect the people around them, or was the appeal of a once in a lifetime battle so strong that they didn’t care?

You were no fan of Yujiro Hanma, but in this instance you were thankful he was able to get your boys home without further incident.

Alas, things only got worse after Retsu orchestrated the first battle against Pickle. At the time you were not privy to it happening, most likely because Retsu knew just how against the idea you would be and how much it would hurt you to know he was going to participate anyway.

Nothing could quite prepare you for seeing him in that hospital bed, leg half missing and shoulder torn to shreds. Retsu was one of your best friends, undoubtedly one of the strongest and most capable people you know. To see him reduced to a prone state, covered in bandages, chunks of his body missing… You were surprised you were able to hold your tears until you left the room.

Before even leaving the hospital, you had made Katsumi swear to you that he would stay away from Pickle. That whatever devil was sitting on his shoulder, whispering in his ear to go fight that monster of a man, was ignored from here on out. He had looked you in the eye, earnestly promising you he would stay away from Pickle. You had his word.

But now you feared it was all just idle chatter.

You wanted to have faith, and forced yourself to give Katsumi some time. Maybe he just went out for a jog, or had to run an early errand before going to the dojo? Surely you were blowing this whole thing out of proportion and only assuming the worst.

But the longer you waited, the more your anxiety mounted. You only lasted an hour before you started to make calls.

Doppo, Retsu, Baki, you even grew desperate and tried Katou-none of them answered your call. After a few attempts you were able to get through to Natsue, but she offered very little in the form of comfort, only telling you in a rushed tone that she had been in contact with Katsumi briefly and all was well, before saying she needed to go and disconnecting the call.

The hours that ticked by were maddening. The wait got so overbearing that you eventually decided to go to Shinshinkai to seek answers on your own. If no one would respond to you, you would just have to go to them and force answers from them yourself.

But to your great surprise when you had arrived to the dojo, you found it closed. Locked up and void of any inhabitants, you were dazed. Never before had you ever seen the dojo completely closed and locked up, with nary a soul in sight. Sure, there were holidays and week days where attendance was waning, but the building itself was never fully uninhabited. In fact, some people where there so often it felt like they practically lived there.

However as dumbfounding as it was, it did not change the fact that the Dojo was in fact closed for the day. There wasn’t even a sign on the door explaining why, and when you cupped your hands against the window for a better look inside, you were met with empty dark halls as far as the eye could see.

The building loomed over you, cold and barren as it mocked your attempt at clarification. Planting yourself on the front steps, you buried your face in your hands.  Completely discouraged, the dreadful, creeping realization that Katsumi had gone against his vow over took you. Though you could come to no other conclusion, your mind still struggled to come to terms with it. Did he really go after Pickle? Would he put himself in danger like that and not tell you? Heaviness had settled on your soul, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

… What if Katsumi never returned home?

As if triggered by that horrid thought, your phone began to noisily ring, cutting the tension with its piercing jingle. Fumbling as you fished the phone from your pocket, the screen lit up to show the caller was Retsu.

“Retsu,” Your hurried voice answered before he could greet you, “Where’s Katsumi?”

Save for some background noises you could not decipher, there was silence on the other end. Your heart was pounding in your chest, the hand holding your phone shaking so bad you were worried you may drop the damn thing. After several agonizingly long seconds passed, Retsu let out a heavy sigh.

“He’s at the Ebara memorial hospital,” his voice sounded strained, like he dreaded telling you the news, “We all are. He’s in private room 309 in the ICU. Please come when you can.”

Your body turned to ice at the revelation. Your hand sprang to cover your mouth, muffling the sob that was desperate to come out.

“… (Name),” Retsu questioned on the other end, his voice much softer than previously, “… He’s beat up, but he’s OK. Please, take deep breaths and be safe getting here. The last thing any of us want is you getting into an accident and hurting yourself over this.”

You released a shaky breath, forcing yourself to calm down, “Thank you, Retsu. Tell Katsumi I’ll be there soon.”

~

You had spent the whole cab ride there mentally readying yourself for what awaited you. Was Katsumi in a coma, could he talk? What if he was hurt so badly you couldn’t recognize him? What if he was beaten so intensely he had become a vegetable? You tried to quell your concerns with Retsu’s reassuring words, but your anxiety kept winning out in the end. ‘OK’ was not the descriptor you were looking for, you wanted to hear that Katsumi was safe and in one piece, up and functioning. You wanted an explanation about the lack of communication- reassurance that it was just some big misunderstanding and he was sorry to make you worry.

But that was just your desire speaking, and the reality of the situation was that he truly had broken a promise to you and got himself hurt in the process, bad enough to be in an ICU in god knows what condition.  Tears stung your eyes as you forced yourself to breath, focus on the fact that Katsumi was alive and being cared for, that he was no longer in danger. But even the relief those facts brought was diminished in your heart, overshadowed by the immense pain you felt over his betrayal and what state you may discover him in.

When you arrived at the hospital, Retsu greeted you in the entrance lobby. His eyes were serious, but a tired smile graced his lips when he saw you rush through the door. As he led you to Katsumi’s room he did his best to try and soothe you, telling you that Katsumi was awake and alert, heavily drugged so that his pain was nearly nonexistent. You only half listened, nodding every now and again to let Retsu know you heard him, even if the words weren’t truly absorbing. Your sole focus was getting to Katsumi, seeing with your own two eyes that he was as alive and well as Retsu was stating he was.

Just as you had reached the door to Katsumi’s room, Retsu halted you from going any further. Shooting him a look, he placed a heavy hand on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I know you are upset,” his words were deliberate, his eyes fixed on yours as he spoke calmly, “And you have every right to be. We kept this fight from you to protect you, but I now see that even with our best intention, that has done more harm than good.  Just please understand (Name)… You are the most important person to Katsumi. He did not do this to cause you any misery or strife. I know I may have no right to ask this, but try not to be too hard on him.”

You gave Retsu a quick nod, steeling yourself as you focused your attention back to the door, “Please, let me see him.”

When the door was pushed open, a rush of emotions washed over you. Frozen in the entryway, words could not describe the consolation you felt seeing him sitting up in the hospital bed, his eyes lighting up in recognition as they passed over you. Your body began to shake, overcome with relief to see him breathing and attentive, elation coursing through you so fiercely you felt lightheaded. Another wave of happiness overtook you when he smiled at you, bright and full of love, the frigid grip of fear instantly began to loosen its hold on your heart.

But when you took in the rest of him, your joy began to waver. He was covered from head to toe in wounds, vicious purple and black bruising marring his pale flesh, cuts and scrapes painting him in strokes of vibrant red. And that was just the areas you could see-A vast majority of his body was wrapped up in bandages, as if someone was trying to mummify him while still alive, giving him a very macabre essence.

The most shocking however was the notable absence of his right arm. Despite the discourteousness you exhibited by staring at such an injury, you couldn’t look away. Katsumi noticed you honing in on it, his smile weakening at the concern reflecting in your eyes. He looked abashed, like a child caught by their mother after doing something they knew they shouldn’t have. He shifted his body slightly as if to try and hide the missing limb, growing increasingly bothered over how it was unsettling you.

“Hi baby. I’m glad you came.”

His words broke your spell, and you rushed to his side, stopping just as you reached the bed. You wanted desperately to fling your arms around his neck, pull him close to you and feel his warmth, experience firsthand the life force that thrummed through him. But you stopped yourself from doing so, partially out of fear of hurting him, but more so over just how jarring he looked close up. You were sure the doctors did all they could to clean him up, but blood still seeped through his bandages, irritated flesh held together by countless stitches made him look far too corpse like for your liking. His eyes seemed so tired, and you had a hard time discerning if the heavy bags and dark shadows that rested beneath them were due to exhaustion or were another lesion from the fight.

Tears began to pour from your eyes, coming in a violent downpour. Your breathing grew labored as you wept, your hands balling into tight fists at your side.

“Katsumi…”

His name came out strained, and his shoulders tensed as he watched you cry. You saw his right shoulder quiver, a deep frown immediately engulfing his face. He must have tried to reach out to you with his phantom limb, his body not yet use to its absence. But the reminder of what he had lost didn’t upset him nearly as much as your tears did.

“(Name)-“

“Shut up!”

You cut him off, a look of surprise flashing across his features over the bite in your voice. Your anger startled you as well-it had consumed you in a flash, leaving you with no choice but to ride it out and voice the worst of the pain you were feeling. Distressed, garbled words began to spill from your lips in an exasperated tirade, a culmination of all the frustration you had felt up to this point.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” your voice wavered, tears so heavy you could barely make out the man by your side, “Why did you do this Katsumi?! You promised me you would stay away from Pickle! You PROMISED me you wouldn’t fight him! Do you know how fucking scared I was when you left this morning? Do you know how horrible it felt not being able to get ahold of anyone for answers, how shitty it was to be left clueless? I thought you were dead Katsu! I thought I may lose you forever and I spent this entire day broken over the thought that I would have to live the rest of this life without you in it!”

Your hands wiped roughly at your eyes, trying in vain to clear the mucus and tears from your reddened face. Katsumi opened his mouth to respond, but thought better of it, letting you continue your vent uninterrupted.

“Was it worth it? Fighting Pickle, losing a limb and nearly your life, driving me to the brink of heartbreak? Did it scratch your itch? Do you feel better now? I just don’t get it, wasn’t it enough to see what was done to Retsu, or were you really so blinded with stupid levels of machismo that you felt you were untouchable? What would have happened if you actually died? How do you think Doppo and Natsue would have felt, or all the people in the dojo? What would I have ever done without you? If I lost you, I wouldn’t even want to live anymore you dumbass idiot! This whole thing is so fucking stupid!”

For a short time, the only sound that could be heard in the room was your muffled cries. Retsu had long since left, leaving you and Katsumi alone to wallow in your oppressive grief. Slowly, your tears began to die down, shrinking down from a raging torrent to small sniffles and hiccups. After sufficient time was given to collect yourself, Katsumi quietly addressed you.

“… (Name)?”

You looked up at him, slightly embarrassed now that your passionate explosion had died down. He took a deep breath before continuing, turning his full attention your way.

“I’m not expecting you to understand why I did this,” His words came out like a caress, gentle and kind, matching the sincere look he held in his eyes, “Honestly, I am not sure I completely understand it myself. What you said is correct; I did this for my own selfish reasons. I single mindedly went after Pickle to test myself, to prove that I could take him on, and out of fear of missing out on a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “Though you may hate to hear it, I don’t regret this fight at all, even with the lasting damage it did to my body. But what I do regret is how this has impacted you, and I realize now the way I went about this in regards to you was all wrong. I should have never hidden my intentions, I was just so afraid of upsetting you that I convinced myself that this was the best way to handle it. You know me, I guess I had to take the hard path to find out just how wrong I was.”  He gave a forlorn chuckle.

“I never want to hurt you. I never want to make you cry. The moment you became mine I vowed to keep you happy and smiling, but I broke that vow and went against my promise to you. You have every right to be mad, and I understand if you stay mad at me for a while, but I want you to know this. I only took on Pickle because I earnestly believed I had a chance at beating him, and I only believed I had a chance of winning because of how strong I have become.”

A wide smile spread over his face as he beamed at you, his eyes softening as he held your gaze.

“I am only this strong largely thanks to you, (Name),” He averted his eyes, a small blush gracing his cheeks as he continued, “Without your ceaseless support and steadfast love and commitment, I would have never made it this far. You give me strength, and each victory I claim is just as much yours as it is my own. I love you with all that I am, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone tear me away from you prematurely, be it caveman or otherwise.”

He laughed a bit, returning his focus back your way, “So please, stop crying baby. I’m here, and I don’t intend on going anywhere anytime soon.”

The warmth in his voice caused a fresh bout of tears to cloud your vision. You looked at your feet, unable to stand the pious endearment he was heaping upon you.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke, your hands going to cover your face in embarrassment, “I’m sorry I yelled at you Katsu. I said horrible things to you that I didn’t mean, I was just so worried I couldn’t stand it…”

As your voice trailed off, you felt his hand rest softly atop your head. Pulling your attention back his way, you stared at his radiant smile through your fingers, butterflies flitting through your stomach as your eyes drank him in.

“No, I’m glad you can be honest with me. Sometimes I need someone to give me a verbal lashing to bring me back down to earth,” he chuckled, shooting you a worn out smirk, “And besides, you’re right, it is stupid. Though I did consider your feelings, I let my own overcloud my better judgment. I should have never kept you in the dark. I’m so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you like this.”

He leaned over, placing his wrapped hand on your wet cheek, wiping away any tears that lingered. Slowly, he guided your face towards his until your foreheads were touching.

“Thank you for loving an idiot like me,” He murmured, tears dotting his own eyes as they gazed at you tenderly, “I’ll never betray your trust again, you have my word.”

Unable to stand it any longer, you flung your arms around him, pulling him into a gentle embrace, gingerly stroking his hair and face as you cried out the last of your sorrow. He in turn buried his face into your chest, whispering words of love and thanks as if he were chanting a spell to help drive away your residual woes.

Seconds turned into minutes as you held each other. After an indiscriminate amount of time had passed your tears had been quelled, and an air of peace replaced the stagnant feeling of the once oppressive hospital room. Katsumi listened to your heart beat, sighing happily as he lost himself in your hold. You smiled down at him, kissing the crown of his head softly.

“Now that you scratched that itch, which do you prefer,” you asked teasingly, a sly smile taking over your face, “Pickle’s hold, or mine? If you answer incorrectly here I am going to use your weakened state to my advantage and kick your ass.”

Katsumi laughed loudly, pulling away till he was looking up at you, “Are you threatening a wounded man right now? And here I thought you were a sweet, gentle girl…”

“Only to nice people,” you flicked his forehead playfully, “Not mean people, like you. It’s going to take quite a bit to make this up to me, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” He cocked his brow, “Why not shoot me some ideas. Whatever it is to get back in my lady loves good graces, I’m all ears.”

“Hmm,” you mused, finger tapping your cheek, “How about setting up a fight for me? Pickle has pissed me off sufficiently by hurting not just my friends, but now also the love of my life. I think I have enough rage built up in me that I can finish the job you all started, don’t you agree?”

Another laugh, “As much as I would love to see that, I want you as far away from Pickle as possible, thank you. If that man laid his hands on you in any capacity I would be forced to break my promise and go after him again, understand? I think we both lose in that scenario.”

“You’re right,” you sighed dramatically, sitting yourself down on a seat beside his bed, “Well, I will think of something. But in the meantime, the only request I make is that you let me stay by your side, at least until you are back to full health. I’ve had more than my share of anxiety attacks today alone, so I would feel much better if you let me oversee your healing.”

He shot you a suggestive look, a smirk ghosting his lips. “What a coincidence, I was hoping for a hot stay at home nurse to be on standby should I need any assistance.”

“You’re pushing your luck,” you held back a laugh, but couldn’t stop the smile that overtook your face, “I will let your suggestive comment slide this time because I am feeling benevolent, but if you don’t take your healing seriously you are going to be in a world of trouble, understood?”

He leaned back in the bed, a thoughtful expression engulfing his face as he closed his eyes, “I hear you loud and clear and leave myself in your capable hands.”

You stood up, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on his lips, one that he reciprocated with a pleased hum. “I love you, Katsumi.”

“Love you too,” he kissed you again, smiling against your lips as he tugged you closer, “And I’ll make sure you never doubt that for the rest of our lives.”

[fairy-isa]

!Surprise date!

Paring(s): Dean Winchester X F!reader

Summary:Dean decides that after the past week of back to back cases and long hours of research as well as barely any time to really focus on each other. He will to treat you for a date. But not just any date a surprise date. but most importantly to get away and enjoy each others company

Tags:Slight pampering, Pet names, Personal attention, gentle love, surprise, Fluff and F!reader.

Word count: I don’t fucking know😍🪽✨

The outfit your wearing:

You and Dean just had the worst week possible.

Constant cases and long hours of researching on Sam’s laptop. The search bar filled of searches on the topic of bad omens, legends , mystical beings. And of course their being a bunch of confusing drama on angels and demons that needed to get straightened out. Frustration, focus, as well as a bit of anxiety were the emotions of the past week. Due to the cases you and the others had to put up with.

So Dean decided to treat his sweet little princess to a date but it’s not just any old date it’s somewhere you’ve been dying to go back to but haven’t been abled to due to constant moving around, motel to motel. he knows you’ll be very happy once he reveals the surprise. It’s perfect since he just got an off day in what seems like forever its refreshing, being able to pull away from the chaos of the cases and the supernatural life. But it’s even more refreshing that he’s spending it with you, the person he loves so much.

You’re sitting in his car looking out the window of his black impala known as ‘baby’ Enter the sand man by Metallica plays. Even tho you don’t really like loud music it some how is stilling you in this moment making you appreciate the little things like how warm the atmosphere feels as well as how comforting and fresh the car smells after the deep clean you and Dean gave the car a while back, holding that somewhat clean smell still.

In the back of your mind you’ve been sitting in silence wondering for almost half of the car ride where he’s taking you he still has yet to tell you but you just figure it’s..probably just to go run some errands or to get some new equipment. Metallica still plays loudly in the car almost blowing your ear drums out as he hums to the lyrics and drums his pointer fingers on the top of the stirring wheel here and there when the drums in the song goes solo.

He then looks over at you and then back at the road he turns down the music a bit. Then speaks to you in his deep husky voice.

“You okay princess..?..has the music blow your ears out yet..?” He says in a teasing joking way with a wide smirk on his face proud that the music can possibly be heard from all fifty states.

“I’m okay…Dean?…I forgot to ask but I just remembered…I was wondering where we are going..”

You speak in that sweet soft voice of yours being all curious as always you watch as deans green eyes look over at you as he says “can’t tell you princess…it’s a surprise..”

What does he mean he can’t tell you he always tells you where you both are headed all the time so this time seems a little odd of him to come out of no where with a random surprise but you just decide that you’ll leave it be and leave him alone for now.

You’ve been in the car for at least about a good 45 minutes, now you’ve been talking with Dean about certain topics. About memories or his memories with his brother Sam, places you guys wanna visit, things you wanna see along road trips.

Yet you start to feel really hungry your soft tummy growling you can’t help but place your hand on your stomach and slightly groan in a way signifying your in a light pain of hunger. “Dean…are you almost there..?..it’s been already 45 minutes” You speak in tone almost sounding like your urging him to drive a little faster by how hungry your getting. “Be patient doll face we’re almost there..” he says as he then makes a turn. And with that turn your eyes widen at the sight..it’s your most favorite bakery. The bakery you’ve been dying to go to for so very long!

“You really drove all the way here just for me..?..!!” You say in a sweet, excited tone. Your feet start to excitedly tap on the floor of the car getting all excited to the point you can’t even contain yourself.

“No I did it cause I wanted pie..” he saying in a teasing manner before following up with “of course I did it for my special girl..why else would we be here?..” you can’t help but giggle as you get all happy. He drives into the park lot while your basically rushing him to find a parking spot just so you can go in a get all the sweets you want to get a sugar rush.

Once the car is parked you walk out of the car running over to Dean getting on your toes ever so slightly to reach his cheek and give him a glossy glittery he returns a big great smile you then say a happy “your the best boyfriend ever Dean!” You say almost jumping up and down but you contain yourself. Dean gives a blushy smile almost like a little kid on Christmas Day repeating what you said. “I’m the best boyfriend ever..” he says but gets cut off by you quickly grabbing his hand and rushing into the bakery to get the sweets you’ve been craving for far too long.

You both go into the bakery pushing past the door as it hits a bell above it and makes a jingle sound, going over to one of the tables as you sit looking all cute your pupils dilating at all the pastries on display he can’t help but raise a little hand to your cheek caressing his thumb on the apple of your cheek which then catches your attention looking up at him.

“Your so precious doll you know that..?…order whatever you want..okay?..it’s on me don’t worry about it sweetie” you giggle and tilt your head into his hand “thank you Dean..!..I love you so much..” you reply back with in a grateful happy tone

“Love you more baby..” he says in a deep husky tone.The waiter comes by and gets you guys ready with some drinks.You both order milkshakes but of course you get a strawberry one and he gets a chocolate one. Throughout the date you guys are trying all the pastries all these different cakes Dean making slight groan sounds when he takes a certain flavor and it hits his souls.

Once the date comes to a stop both of your guys bellies full walking back into the car and getting in your hand resting on your adorably full belly, you let out a sigh and say “thank you dean…m’so sleepy now but the cakes were really good..” he nods as he looks at you and then says “yeah baby the cakes were good but the pies where better..” you shake your head no as you then say “the cakes were better to me but whatever tickles your fancy I guess..!” He then giggles and shakes his head he leans over and kisses your cheek you then move your head slightly so your lips can kiss his. Two deep kisses of pure love he then pulls away and says

“surprise..baby I hope you liked our little date because I know I did” he said in that same lovey husky tone he moves a strand of hair behind your ear then placing one last kiss but this time on your temple you smile up at him as he then pulls away and starts the car.

[heleentje]

Revalink week day 5: Paraglider

A day late, but I'm glad I got this out!

In loving memory of that time I started a new save of botw, got to the cryonis shrine, and killed myself by jumping down because I'd forgotten I didn't have the paraglider yet.

The hill felt perfect, though for what exactly, Link couldn’t tell. It is meager consolation: when no reassuring tug jolts his shoulders to break the plummeting sensation of freefall, he realizes just how badly his memory has failed him again.

Ah.

Later, when he’s gingerly prodding at his bruised ribs and the scrapes his tumble earned him, he gives it some thought. What exactly made him think jumping was safe?

Really, the answer is obvious.

The paraglider in the old man’s hands had filled Link with a profound sense of wrongness. It was ill-suited to the man’s size, the delicate frame looking like it should break under the weight. More than that, Link had taken one look at it and known he’d wanted it, more fiercely than anything he’d wanted in his half day of memories. But even that fierce longing doesn’t explain his sudden recklessness. It doesn’t explain the vivid sense-memory he gets whenever he looks at the nearby hills and the far-off mountains, the tug of desire to make it to the highest peaks only to feel the rush of descent again.

It must have been his, then. He wants it back.

The thought of having it in his possession again spurs him on. He fights his way past the monsters with skills only half-remembered and climbs to the top of the icy mountains to reach the last of the shrines the old man indicated. When he emerges again, the power of a new rune in the Sheikah Slate, the old man appears with the paraglider and more empty promises in hand. He thinks of taking it by force, and only barely quells the urge. Then he thinks of jumping down the mountain again, and somehow that urge is even harder to fight.

When he finally has it in hand again, after a trek to the very top of the temple, he finds that he cannot even enjoy it. The revelations of the old man — of the king — weigh him down. The castle in the distance is no longer an abstract danger he planned to avoid, but the embodiment of his own failure. How is he supposed to succeed on his own where an entire army failed in the past?

At least the feeling of flight, of the wind rushing past his face, is enough to distract from it for a moment until inevitably, his feet touch the ground outside the Great Plateau. That night, when he has reached the first stable on his journey and has learned not to flinch whenever people’s voices get too loud, he takes out the paraglider again. The wood has been treated by an expert hand; the cloth has been made so well that neither rain nor heat affect it. Still, it is not new: time has had its effect on the paraglider as well. He begs needle and thread off another traveler and finds that his hands remember the action of darning.

He does not remember the symbol woven into the cloth.

“Looks like something from the Rito,” says the innkeeper. “There’s this Rito bard who comes around every so often. If you stick around, I’m sure you can catch him.”

Bird people, something in Link’s deeply buried memories says. It would make sense, for them to be the ones to create a way for a Hylian to fly. Up on the Great Plateau, he had seen the menacing shape of a giant bird circling the western reaches of Hyrule. His feet wish to take him there. But he has to continue his journey towards Kakariko Village. So he does not wait for the elusive Rito bard, but instead takes the path further north from the stable.

Lady Impa’s words at least give him an excuse to seek out the Rito. They also give him a name.

Champion Revali of the Rito. The words stir little within him, but they sound as if they should. He fought side by side with the Champions. So was the Rito Champion a friend of his, someone who would give him the tools to take to the sky?

It takes days and days before he can even find out. The plains of Central Hyrule are treacherous and leave him no chance to use the paraglider; the eternal thunderstorm above the Thundra Plateau makes flight a hazard. Even the mountains of Tabantha, so inviting from afar, are buffeted by harsh winds that would crush him against the cliffside given the chance.

But at least he gets there in the end.

Rito Village would be idyllic if it weren’t menaced by the Divine Beast Link spotted all the way back on the Great Plateau. No memory comes to him as he enters the village either, but that’s okay, because near the top of the spiralling staircase, he finally finds what he was looking for, in chipped paint on wood: the same symbol woven into the cloth of his paraglider.

Revali’s Landing.

This must be it, he thinks, elation making him light-headed. And then his memories finally catch up to him and crush his delusions to dust.

If Champion Revali was an ally of his, it was only in the most technical of senses. The Champion saw no worth within him, felt no desire to take to the sky and fight side by side with him. The trail he’s been chasing for so long is a dead end. Champion Revali could never have been the one to give him the paraglider.

He sits down heavily, hands clutching the cloth of the paraglider. Whoever gave it to him must have seen some worth within him regardless. But Rito history is short and fleeting. Their name, and who they were to Link, are long lost to time. All he has of them is this one gift and the freedom it has afforded him.

[foxydivaxx]

ZOSAN: End Of Pardise Chapter 1

ZORO'S POV

I must admit, I've been skating on thin ice of luck. My old man, Mihawk, kept me sheltered from the gritty underbelly of the mafia scene for ages. Sure, I knew what pops was up to, but I minded my own business. Getting tangled up with those unsavory types was never my cup of tea.

Or so I told myself. Then along came Sanji. Curse that stupidly handsome Sanji. The day he sauntered into my life was etched in my memory like a tattoo; September 15, a day to remember.

Everyone in the hallway stopped dead in their tracks as Sanji strutted past, paying no mind to the gawking masses. Confidence dripped off him like sweat on a summer day. And why wouldn't it? He was hotter than a furnace. Decked out in rebellious glory—long tees, shredded leggings, boots bedazzled to the nines, and a touch of eyeliner that screamed rockstar.

Silent as the grave, too. Almost eerie. Rumor had it some poor soul ripped his tongue out for getting too cozy with the wrong girl. To add to the mystery, nobody knew a lick about him. He was a lone wolf even during lunchtime.

Intrigued, I decided to play detective. During class, I'd catch him shooting glances my way, a smirk playing on his lips. Was he interested in me, or was I just imagining things?

The mystery deepened during lunch one day. My buddies and I had just polished off our meals when I spotted Sanji slipping out the door.

"Where's he always sneaking off to?" Luffy wondered aloud, his gaze following Sanji's disappearing act.

"Maybe he's a loner," Robin mused.

"Yeah, noticed how he shies away from girls," Nami chimed in.

"Maybe that tale about some dude punishing him over a girl is true," Usopp shrugged.

"Alright, let's play detective," I declared, rising to my feet, Luffy and Usopp trailing behind me.

Call me nosy, but I had to uncover the mystery behind that blonde bombshell who'd been renting space in my head for weeks. Why'd it always have to be blondes, anyway?

But as I followed him, I stumbled upon something I hadn't expected. An older man, stepping out of a sleek red sports car, escorting Sanji away without a word. The sight left a bitter taste in my mouth. Was this guy Sanji’s sugar daddy?

Sanji's POV

Leaving school midday was always a gamble, especially when my dad summoned me with a text during lunch. Being the Consigliere of the Mafia, though, it was par for the course. While others in the gang had their roles, there were certain tasks only I could handle. Maybe it was because I was the youngest member, or maybe it was my knack for blending into the shadows and slipping through the cracks.

“So, what's my mission, Pedro?” I asked as our car sped away from the school.

Pedro, my silent companion and fellow spy, glanced at me from the driver's seat. “Your mission this time is to infiltrate the Charlotte's party.”

Years ago, Pudding had played me for a fool, her deceit staining our once-promising connection. Now, Dad spoke of arranged marriages and alliances as if my heart were just another piece on his chessboard.

But this party—just the mention of Blackbeard sent a chill down my spine. His name carried weight, a dark cloud looming over even the toughest of us.

“Blackbeard,” I repeated, feeling the gravity of his influence.

Pedro nodded gravely. “It’s risky, Sanji. But your father insists.”

“This is going to be one risky assignment. But we have no choice here. I don't know what Father's intentions are, but there's only one way to find out.”

As we returned home to prepare for the mission ahead, I braced myself for the storm brewing on the horizon.

Father greeted me with his usual stern demeanor, and I steeled myself for the conversation to come.

“Did Pedro brief you?” he asked, his eyes piercing through me.

“Yes, but I'm still unclear. Why him, Father? Going after Blackbeard will only stir up more trouble for us.”

“Indeed, but I've made a shocking discovery, son,” Father began, his voice low and intense. “Remember your accident years ago? Turns out that bastard was keeping tabs on you.”

He handed me a document, and as I scanned its contents, my blood ran cold. “Your mother was informed by her sister, Isolde—part of the Italian Mafia, by the way—that Blackbeard wanted to kill her as punishment for a bad trade.”

The revelation ignited a fire within me. “What's the plan, Father?”

Normal POV

Sanji arrived at the party venue dressed in a sleek black tuxedo, his disguise of choice for blending into the shadows. It was situations like these that made his job as an assassin all the more convenient. After all, who would suspect a blonde teenager of harboring such deadly secrets?

That's why they called him the Angel of Death—his presence unnoticed until it was too late. It was his double life, navigating the treacherous waters of high school by day and the dangerous underworld of espionage by night.

Being homeschooled had shielded him from prying eyes, but now, as he mingled with the crowd, he couldn't help but feel exposed. His father's decision to send him to high school had seemed odd at first, but then he met a certain Marimo—a certain Zoro—who added a new dimension to his life. But thoughts of Zoro had to wait; now wasn't the time.

To protect his family's secrets, Sanji had adopted a facade of silence, distancing himself from his peers. So imagine his surprise when he spotted Zoro standing next to who he suspected to be Mihawk Dracule—his own father. Mafia ties, it seemed, ran deeper than he'd realized. His mission to observe Blackbeard suddenly became more complicated.

As Zoro's gaze met his own, Sanji felt a flutter in his chest. What was he doing here? Before he could contemplate further, Mihawk approached him with boisterous greetings.

"Ah, Sanji! Look at you, all grown since the last time I saw ya!"

Zoro's glare didn't go unnoticed as he questioned their connection. Sanji, deciding it was time to drop the act, revealed his true self.

"Our fathers know each other. No big deal," he said with a nonchalant shrug.

Zoro's surprise at hearing Sanji speak was evident. "Why the silence in school, then?"

"Some secrets are best left hidden."

Zoro's attempt at lightening the mood with a joke about "sugar daddies" earned a chuckle from Sanji, though he quickly corrected the misunderstanding.

"Dad's driver, Pedro, is hardly a sugar daddy," Sanji retorted, the tension easing slightly.

Their moment was interrupted by the arrival of Helmeppo and Pudding, casting a shadow over the conversation. Zoro's protective gesture didn't go unnoticed by Sanji, who appreciated the support.

"The only losers I see here are you and your companion. Seriously, that suede suit? It's so outdated, it hurts my eyes. And don't even get me started on that princess outfit—it looks like something a child would wear to a tea party. Do yourselves a favor and upgrade your wardrobe, pronto."

With a well-timed insult, Zoro deflected the awkwardness, leaving Pudding and Helmeppo fuming as they retreated.

"Thanks," Sanji murmured, a hint of gratitude in his voice.

"Don't mention it," Zoro replied, the tension between them momentarily forgotten in the heat of the moment.

"You know, you clean up nicely in a tux," Sanji observes. Zoro chuckles. "Funny, considering I despise formal wear. But since Papa Hawk insisted on dragging me here tonight, I had no choice."

Sanji nods, suspecting that Zoro's father wants to gradually introduce him to the Mafia world. "You look stunning tonight, Curlybrows. Quite the departure from your usual rocker look at school."

Sanji laughs, knowing Zoro would bring that up. "Oh, this? I enjoy dressing up. I don't attend many events like this, but when Dad needs a representative, I'm the go-to person. So I make sure to look my best."

"Your beauty truly shines when you're all polished, with minimal makeup," Sanji smirks. "Is it just me, or do you have a soft spot for blondes?"

"Maybe," Zoro replies.

Pedro watches their interaction with a grin. Compared to the other potential matches Judge had suggested for his son, this one feels different. The fact that Sanji chose Mihawk’s son over the others is significant.

He always knew Sanji had a type, but he never imagined it would be Mihawk’s handsome son. He immediately informs his boss.

"Boss, I think we might need to reconsider marrying Sanji off to that girl."

"Has someone caught his eye?"

"Mihawk’s son Zoro. He's at the party, and he and Sanji seem to have great chemistry."

"Is that so? Perhaps we should invite Mihawk and his son over to solidify the relationship, then."

At that moment, the party's host arrives, and fear grips Sanji as memories flood back, overwhelming him until everything goes blank.

This is the first part of the story. Things are heating up as you can see.

[aashiquidreams]

This week has been especially tough, both physically and emotionally. It began with severe knee pain that worsened as the days went by, robbing me of sleep and making even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. My knee issues have been ongoing since 2022, and despite staying active and committed to my CrossFit routine three times a week, this latest flare-up was a painful reminder that the road to recovery is often unpredictable. But I pushed through, even making it to training despite the pain—proof that, no matter what, I refuse to let these setbacks define me.

On top of that, I had a re-intake appointment with my therapist, which stirred up a lot of mixed emotions. Sitting in that familiar office, with the same therapist, felt like revisiting an old chapter of my life, one I thought I had moved past. It brought back memories of a time when I was struggling deeply, and being there again felt like a reminder of how much has changed over the years, yet how some wounds still haven’t fully healed. This realization hit me hard, and I felt a wave of sadness that I couldn’t quite shake off.

As the seasons begin to shift toward autumn, I’m feeling the absence of my cats, Tijgertje and Suzy, more than ever. Their presence once filled my home with warmth and love, and without them, the loneliness I’ve been feeling has deepened. The thought of facing the upcoming winter and holidays without them feels overwhelming, as if the road ahead is growing darker and more uncertain. It’s a loneliness that extends beyond just missing them; it’s about missing that connection, that sense of home, and the comfort of knowing there’s someone—or something—there for me, no matter what.

There are a few people I can talk to, but after the betrayals and disappointments I’ve faced over the past year, I’m more guarded. I’ve learned to be cautious with my trust, but that also means I often feel alone, even in the company of others. It’s not just that they don’t understand me; it’s that they don’t quite see me in the way I need to be seen. I miss having someone who is emotionally intelligent, someone who can offer me the kind of romantic and supportive connection that makes everything feel a little more bearable. I yearn for that deeper bond, for someone who truly gets me and can walk beside me through this journey—and I want to be that person for them too.

Despite everything, I’m still here, standing my ground. This week was physically painful, emotionally draining, and yes, I’m tired—more tired than I care to admit. But I’m also proud of myself for continuing to move forward, even when it feels like the world is trying to push me back. I’ve been through a lot, and though I don’t have all the answers and often feel like I’m navigating through the dark, I’m finding strength in simply taking it day by day and some days, moment to moment.

In the midst of this challenging time, I’m also reflecting on the broader cycles at play. With Pluto’s final transit back into Capricorn, a chapter that began in 2008 is coming to a close. As a Libra rising with my 4th house in Capricorn, this transit has deeply influenced my sense of home, family, and emotional foundations. I’ve been reassessing what stability means to me, and this phase of transformation has prompted me to confront old patterns related to my inner life and sense of security.

Starting in late November, Pluto will move into Aquarius, transitioning into my 5th house, which governs creativity, self-expression, and romantic relationships. This shift signifies the beginning of a new chapter, where I’ll be encouraged to embrace radical change in these areas of my life. The 5th house is also about joy and pleasure, suggesting that this transit will inspire me to pursue passions and relationships that resonate with my true self. On a personal level, this transition resonates with my experiences of letting go of old patterns and stepping into a new phase of my life. As I look back at pictures and videos from the past few years, I sometimes struggle to recognize myself or my life, as if I’ve jumped timelines or dreamt it all. This profound shift mirrors the transformations I’m undergoing, even if the path ahead is still unclear.

The Tower card from the Rider-Waite Tarot deck still lingers in my mind. It symbolizes the upheaval and transformation I’ve been experiencing, reminding me that sometimes we must endure chaos to rebuild something stronger. Each painful moment feels like a necessary part of this transformative process, where the chaos ultimately leads to clarity and growth.

While writing this, I had flashes of the Fool card and the ways it has shown up in my life over the past year. Even though I haven’t used my tarot deck in over a year, the Fool card has appeared in synchronicities, always in prominent ways. This led me to look up its astrological correspondence, and I was amazed to find that in the Rider-Waite Tarot, the Fool card corresponds to Aquarius. This association emphasizes themes of new beginnings, freedom, and a sense of adventure, which aligns perfectly with Pluto’s upcoming move into Aquarius and its placement in my 5th house. It feels like the universe has been guiding me to embrace this new chapter, encouraging me to trust the process, no matter how uncertain it may seem. The Fool card, much like the Tower, serves as a reminder to embrace the uncertainty, trusting that each step forward, however small, is part of a greater journey toward self-discovery and renewal.

Life has an interesting way of throwing hints at us when we least expect it—whether it’s through a tarot card, a fleeting thought, or those little synchronicities that make you stop and wonder. Even when the path ahead seems unclear, I can’t help but feel like the universe is aligning the stars, guiding me toward something new and exciting. So, here I am, ready to follow the signs, trusting that the twists and turns are all part of the adventure. After all, who knows what surprises lie just around the corner?

[deannagrey]

A Mendell Christmas: Part Two

A/N: I meant to have this up so much sooner! The end of the year was far busier than I expected. And because I had to take care of some personal things, my writing became a low priority. Thankfully, I finally have time to sit down again.

This Christmas project became far longer than I expected (I still have one more part to post). When I finished this part, I hesitated to share it because it didn't feel exciting or interesting. It felt too cheesy. But then I remembered how much I used to write when I was younger. And how much I used to just want to have fun. So, I've decided that's what all my posts on this Tumblr will be: simple fun. The characters might be all over the place, the dialogue might sound weird, and there probably won't be any real plot. But I want a space to have fun again. Writing as a job has been a blessing but it's not my escape anymore. I miss it being my escape.

So, for the year ahead I want to post random writing on this blog! Stories, shorts, and snapshots of characters that may or may not be in my published books. This is my sandbox. My place for quiet moments with the characters I love. I hope you enjoy this quiet moment with Finn and Sam. I had so much fun being back in their heads and spending more time with them.

Happy New Year! I hope 2024 brings you everything you desire. I hope you enjoy these small moments too.

(Also apologies for any inaccuracies! I'm Florida-born & raised, I don't know how frozen lake fishing works and didn't want to do research for such a small piece of writing lol)

Finn 

“We’re going on a road trip,” Sam said as he joined me in the kitchen.

“When?” I stirred sugar into Naomi’s morning tea.

“As soon as you get your shoes on,” he said. 

I looked up, noting how he was already dressed. “Are we in a hurry?”

“Oh yeah.” Sam glanced at the time on his phone. “Should have left here an hour ago.”

“You’re not going to get everyone else ready on such a tight schedule. You know Henrik’s going to need at least an hour to make food to pack.”

“Well it’s a good thing they’re not invited, isn’t it?” 

I raised my brow at Sam’s smile. It’s the first time I’ve seen his smile reach his eyes since Aderyn asked for space and time. There’s a lightness to his energy. An excitement I’ve been trying to draw out of him for weeks. I kept failing over and over until disappointment became an all too familiar feeling. 

Being there for Naomi felt like putting on custom-made skates with the blades perfectly sharpened for a smoothed rink surface. When trying to comfort the guys, I was in secondhand skates, trying to stay upright on an uneven, frozen lake. 

Maybe today could be different. Sam was already primed for a good time. All I had to do was lean in and try to summon a bit of old Finn energy. Some part of me must remember how to be a good friend to him. If not, I'd learn. I'd already learned how to talk to people again…kind of.

“What’s the destination?” I asked while topping off Naomi’s drink with oat milk. 

“A trip down memory lane,” Sam said. “It’s my not-so-secret Santa gift.”

My stomach jumped, curiosity making me more alert. I’d been vehemently against learning about my past earlier this semester. But after finding my own rhythm and becoming more confident in the person I was now, I couldn’t help but harbor a bit of wonder about what I’d left behind. What memories I’d once shared now only belonged to one person. 

“That cool with you?” Sam asked just in case. “It’s fine if not. I know you’ve been hesitant but figured—or maybe hoped—you were more comfortable with it now that things seem to be better for you. You're more settled.”

“Umm…” My mind was trying to catch up to everything. 

“I got a far more traditional gift option as a plan B,” Sam offered. 

“No, I mean, yeah, I’m cool with that. With the memory lane,” I said quickly. My curiosity evolved into nerves. What if I didn’t like it and that fucked up his mood again? I wasn’t good at faking happiness. Hell, I was barely good at expressing happiness even when it was genuine. 

“Relax,” Sam said gently. “If you hate it we’ll come right back, no questions asked.”

The muscles in my shoulders loosened a bit. 

“Sound good?” he asked.

“Sounds great,” I assured.

Sam

Whenever Finn was keeping something to himself, he became an excessive throat clearer. Even after his accident that hadn’t changed. On the ride out of town, I listened to his symphony of nerves. And let him go on until I decided to throw him a line.

“It’s a good memory,” I promised and smiled over at him. “If that does anything to help your anxiety.” 

Finn grunted, pretending to be more interested in whatever he was doing on his phone. 

“A memory that'll make you feel all fuzzy and warm,” I teased. "Like the teddy bear, you truly are thanks to Naomi."  

He rolled his eyes. “That so?”

“Yup.” I put on my turning signal, pulling off of the busy highway. 

Finn and I used to be inseparable when we were in middle school. As we got older we were far less codependent but still close. Close enough for it to sting like hell when I realized he wasn’t going to remember most of what we’d been through. 

Sometimes, when I looked at Finn, I saw the guy who used to sneak me an extra Jello in the lunch room because he knew how rough the first half of my day was. Sometimes I saw the hothead who’d threaten anyone who hurt me even though most of the time he was far outnumbered. Sometimes I saw the guy who told me I’d be the best choice for captain despite my then doubts. Those parts of him were still there and alive. So even if the parts of him we shared were forever gone, I found comfort in those memories. 

“It’s not my goal to try and spark something,” I said gently. “Today is just for fun. We really loved this place. I still do and I figured you should see it and maybe…I don’t know, you might find some joy here too. What was that thing you told me about muscle memory?” 

“I can always count on it.”

“Exactly. I wanted you to feel that this year. Remember you can have something to count on and a place to go if you need.” 

It was quiet for a minute as I made our final turn. Finn cleared his throat once more before saying, “Thanks…for letting me know you’re not trying to trigger a memory. I like the idea of just being here…with you.” 

“Look at us, a couple of assholes with hearts. What have Naomi and Aderyn done to us…?” My mood shifted slightly at my mention of Aderyn. I chewed on my bottom lip, hoping Finn didn’t sense my brief dip in energy. Unfortunately, he’s getting better at reading between the lines. 

“I don’t know how to get you to talk about it,” Finn confessed. “I’m sure there was a method I used before.”

“It’s fine,” I said quickly. “I usually mope around until one of you guys gets pissed enough to drag it out of me. You weren’t the only one to try and help.” 

“I know but…I was your person, right? Your main person.”

My main person. That’d shifted over the years. I bounced between all the guys. And now, Aderyn was in that mix. She could have probably been at the center of it if things hadn’t gotten so twisted. 

“You still are.” I pulled into a parking spot that faced the river. 

“I just have to figure out how to make you talk,” he said. 

“Don't stress about it too much. I'm good. Or, will be good eventually." 

Finn followed my lead out of the car. He watched as I unloaded a gym bag and a couple of folding chairs from the trunk. He was quiet until he saw me check the bag for my ice pick. 

“We’re not secretly murderers, are we?” he asked when he saw my stash. 

I snorted. I'm sure he was joking but Finn’s deadpan delivery often left me with some uncertainty. 

“Nope. Just two fishermen are about to waste their time while the sun comes up.” 

Finn frowned when I tossed him the extra bag of supplies. “We’re going out there?” 

His finger pointed toward the frozen lake. Snowfall had been sparse this morning. The lake would be picturesque once the sun leaked over the horizon. We were already getting a sneak peek of what the morning would have to offer, so I decided to hurry Finn up. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong but we don’t feel like people who fish,” Finn called after me. 

I laughed as I continued our trek forward. The snow crunched underneath my boots. “We weren’t until we met Mr. Meyers."

 Finn paused for a second. "Mr. Meyers?" 

I froze too, my stomach jumping with excitement. "You remember?" 

"Not at all."

It was hard to mask my slight disappointment. Sometimes – when I least expected – it hurts to hold memories on my own.

 "Meyers was an old guy who spent all his free time over there during the summer." I pointed to the boardwalk about a half mile away. "And around here in the winter." 

I gestured to the middle of the lake. At our backs was the parking lot and to our front a dark, thick tree line that was covered in frost. It smelled like sixth grade out here, all pine needles and frozen earth. 

"We met him out here when we decided we would become Boy Scouts." I unfolded the chairs and pulled out our Thermos. Henrik had enough time to force me into packing something warm to drink. I was grateful for his persistence now that the cold wind was biting at our skin. Finn let out an agreeing sigh when I offered him the Thermos. 

"We were Boy Scouts?" Finn asked. 

"No, not officially." I chuckled at his look of confusion. "We wanted to be but your folks couldn't afford the annual membership at the time and wouldn't accept the money from my dad."

He nodded. "I suppose I wouldn't have either. At least not now…it doesn't feel right."

"You're stubborn. Always have been, always will be," I agreed. "But I would have convinced you to take it if your parents didn't have the final say. But, anyway, we decided we'd be Boy Scouts on our own. And that meant earning badges on our own. Of course, our first attempt couldn't be something simple like learning to tie a knot. No, we wanted to fish in the dead of winter. Like someone in a post-apocalyptic Arctic landscape, as you put it – you were really into post-apocalyptic books back then." 

"Was I?" Finn nodded and undoubtedly tucked that information away for later like he always did with tidbits I shared. 

"Hardcore. So you had me out here hammering away at the ice with a screwdriver." I laughed at the memory of us on our hands and knees, trying to chip away the ice with runny noses and burning ears. "Mr. Meyers saw and got on us until he was blue in the face. When we finally got a word in, we let him know that we weren't trying to crack through the lake and drown. But we were trying to be resourceful members of society. He folded then and decided as a former boy scout himself, it was his job to teach us everything he knew." 

Finn smiled and I motioned for him to come closer. I talked him through how Mr. Meyers showed us the way to create a clean circle in the ice. I explained how we were supposed to pick a spot where the ice was thickest and the cracks were little to non-existent. 

"He made us badges," I said when we settled into our seats. "Whenever we learned something new and proved ourselves to him, he'd have these incredibly unique badges that'd he designed from scratch. The guys at school got so jealous that some of them quit the Boy Scouts and wanted to be taught under Meyers." 

"Did they?" 

I shook my head and pulled out our fishing rods. "Meyers wouldn't teach anyone but me and you. Said he only had enough time and energy for two pupils. And he only had enough extra cash for two sets of badges. For a moment, we were the cool kids…until people decided Boy Scouts were dorky and gaming was everything." 

"Sounds like we had a lot of fun." Finn smiled. Maybe he was playing the spoken memory over in his head, trying to fill in details to construct something he'd be able to recall. Or maybe he was simply smiling because I hadn't stopped. I felt good today. Better than I had in a while and that's because I enjoyed being outside. I enjoyed the open sky, the chilled air, and being able to sit across from Finn. I loved my friends but these quiet moments with Finn were few and far between. After almost losing him, I cherished this. 

"I'm sorry," I said, my smile fading when I realized what I'd done. 

"Huh?" Finn frowned. 

"I…I brought you here as a gift but just realized–" I sighed and ran my hand over my head. "This was more of a gift for me than you. I was being selfish bringing you here. I thought it'd be nice to get away and be like we used to but this doesn't mean much to you." 

"Sam, this is good. This is fun," Finn said firmly. "I'm having fun." 

The tightness in my chest loosened. "Really?"

"I'm not a good liar just yet," he reminded me with a smile. 

"True." I laughed in agreement and leaned over to bait my hook. Finn did the same, listening to my instructions on how to do it. He watched me toss the line in before mimicking my motion. 

"I have something else for you," I announced once our hooks had sunk. "You didn't get to earn your last badges because, like the other guys at school, you thought Boy Scouts were dorky." 

"Really?" Finn's forehead furrowed as if he was disappointed in himself. 

"Yeah, but I kept coming to hang out with Meyers," I said. "Got a couple more badges until he got sick." 

"Is he…" Finn paused, not sure how to finish. 

"He's fine," I quickly confirmed. "Lives in Florida now with his granddaughter." 

Finn nodded, relieved for a man he didn't remember but would forever be tied to through me. 

"I got him to send over the badges you didn't get to earn." I dug through my bag and pulled them out. I'd wrapped each one in green and red striped paper. They were misshaped and poorly taped up presents but Finn accepted them like they were precious pieces of gold. 

"You can't open them yet," I reminded him. Lincoln wanted all of us to open them together. Since a fishing trip couldn't be wrapped, I figured it was best to do it before Christmas. But, the tangible gifts were to be kept for later. 

"But you when do–" I shrugged and laughed, feeling silly all of a sudden. "--we could finish earning them together. Like, gradually, throughout the year when we have time. I already have mine so I could make sure to teach you how to do it. Teach you in a way I'm sure Meyers will be proud–at least, I hope. You could finally fill up your sash–even though it's probably collecting dust in your family's basement and you don't care like that. But lately, you've been really into renovating the house and you look like you used to when we were kids." 

"That's why I like doing it," Finn said as he took a deep breath. "I think the muscle memory part of me liked figuring out the practical." 

I smiled. "I think so too. It's a part of you." 

"This was perfect, Sam. I…thank you." Finn looked back down at his badges, which now felt like pieces of himself he didn't know were missing. "I can't wait to earn these with you." 

"Not too dorky anymore, is it?" I teased. 

He shook his head. "Not in the slightest." 

We were quiet for a moment, enjoying the sun's heat as it crawled up in the sky and the warm tea that I'd accidentally put too much sugar in. The fish never bit. Finn never remembered Meyers on his own. But none of that mattered. We were happy. We were once again on track to earn badges. Once again trying to figure shit out together. 

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

Heaven- Flicker Chapter 5

Warning. This chapter contains smut. Use of toys, teasing, fingering. Probably a bunch more. Language. Proceed with caution. Minors DNI

Friday, February 3rd. 8:30am

I wake up with the sun glaring in my eyes. I move to sit up when I feel something pulling me back down. I'm turned around only to face a sleepy Niall, who is squinting with a smile on his face.

He leans in and pecks my lips, sighing into the kiss.

"G'mornin' Em."

I smile and snuggle up to him.

"Good-"

Before I can finish, my bedroom door slams open and in stomps a fiery Jenny.

"Em, I can't fucking take them anymore! I swear to god I'm going to actually kill them!"

My mouth gapes open as I turn my head to her and she finally calms down enough to look at me clearly. It then seems to sync in with her that I am not alone.

"Oh... Well this is very awkward. Okay.. Um just letting you know, I'm gonna be burying some bodies. Cool okay so you guys have fun and um use protection!"

She rushes through her words and quickly leaves, though her embarrassment is clear on her face as she closes the door.

Niall and I burst out laughing and he hugs me tight.

"Should we go see what that was about?"

I giggle, running my fingers through his hair as I nod.

"I suppose we should before I find blood on my hardwood floors. But I think I need coffee now."

He smiles and nods, squeezing me one more time before he lets me go. I sit up, getting out of bed as I run my fingers through my hair, too lazy to grab a brush. I walk over to my dresser, pulling out Niall's sweatpants he gave me and a pair of basketball shorts.

"Babe."

He looks up at me from across the room as he rummages through his bag, just soon enough to catch him the sweatpants I tossed to him.

"Ah! Thank ya, Petal! Perfect! Maybe a shirt too? All I've got is polos."

I smile and nod, slipping on my shorts and throwing my hair in a ponytail before walking over to my closet. I pull out an old Fall Out shirt and hand it to him. He chuckles when he sees the shirt and shakes his head.

"What? Would you rather I give you a shirt with your face on it?"

I pull out my Midnight Memories shirt slightly and he throws his head back in a laugh.

"I'm fine, Babe. This is perfect."

I smirk and let the shirt go before closing my closet. He takes the shirt from me and quickly gets dressed, taking my hand when he's finished. I open my bedroom door and we walk down the hallway and down the stairs, reaching the living room.

Jenny is standing at the kitchen island, voice raised at she yells at Aleks and Zach. We walk past them into the kitchen and I start preparing my coffee when Jenny snags my attention.

"Em! Will you please remind these idiots about our rules for takeout containers?"

I sigh, setting down my mug as I lean on Niall. I turn around, all eyes on me and nod my head.

"If you didn't buy it, don't touch it. If you really want it, text the group chat and ask. If you're told no then it's no. Now can we chill out? It's way too early for this shit and I haven't even had coffee."

Jenny huffs and the boys, excluding Niall, groan. I pour creamer into my steaming coffee and stir it as I continue to talk.

"Zachary, you're replacing Jenny's sushi."

"How did you-"

With my coffee ready, I pull down a mug for Niall and step aside a little, giving him room to make his own before turning around.

"I'm not stupid? You ate my leftover Kura last week too but I didn't care and was in no mood to complain. You've been doing it a lot. Aleks ate my leftover Firehouse too. You guys just gotta get better about asking."

I begin to sip my coffee but stop mid sip as Zach lets out a snarky reply.

"Maybe you should be asking if you can have people over."

I drink the remainder of my coffee, setting my mug down on the counter behind me before grabbing the collar of Zach's shirt.

"Listen up, buttercup. Last time I checked, you're not paying rent on the house. I do, so I have a say in who comes into my home. And another thing! We never made a rule about bringing anyone home! You've brought all your girlfriends home! Check your bull shit at the door or don't bother coming home. I'm getting kind of sick of your attitude lately."

I let go of him and walk back over to Niall, leaning on him for comfort.He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close, rocking me back and forth.

"I'm sorry... You guys were... Just a bit loud last night. We're all a little tired."

My face heats up and I bury my head into Niall's chest as his hold on me tightens.

"Um... 'M sorry about that. Not really used t' havin' others in the house. We'll try and keep it down next time."

Jenny snorts, Zach rolls his eyes and Aleks begins to make gagging sounds. I lift my head up and glare at them as Niall chuckles.

"You're children. All of you. I hate you."

Everyone laughs and Niall starts to rub my back when I hear a phone begin to ring.

I can feel it vibrating and that's when I realize that it's Niall's phone.

Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) Such a lovely face Plenty of room at-

Niall sighs and reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out his phone before hitting the green button and raising it to his ear.

"Yeah, what's up- What?! Yer fuckin' kidding me... Alright... Yeah yeah I'll be there soon. Okay... bye."

He hangs up and tucks his phone back into his pocket before wrapping his arms back around me and I look up at him and he stares into my eyes.

"M sorry Petal, but I have t' go. Somethin' went wrong at the studio and I gotta go fix it."

I nod, trying to hide my sadness. He lets me go and we head upstairs so he can get dressed. He quickly gets dressed and gets his things together, so we head downstairs. He waves to everyone, but only Jenny and Aleks wave back to him.

"It was nice seein' you all! See ya Sunday!"

I nod to them and open the door, walking Niall out to his car. He loads his bag in and opens the driver door before turning back to me, holding his arms wide open.

Tears threaten to spill as I walk into his arms and he squeezes me tight as I start to let out little sniffles. He kisses the top of my head and begins to rub my back with one hand and caress my head with the other.

"Shh I know. It'll be okay though, Em."

I pout and bury my head in his chest.

"Just... I'm gonna miss you a lot."

He pushes me away and before I can argue, he lifts me up and presses his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer as my lips move against his.

He squeezes me tight before pulling away, setting me back down on the ground. He kisses my forehead and lets go of me, a small smile on his face.

"I promise, it'll go by fast. It's only 2 days. Think you can do that for me?"

I pout but nod my head.

He's right... It is just two day but the thought of him leaving... It hurts thinking about it, let alone seeing him leave...

With one last kiss, he lets me go and gets into his car, waving as he pulls out of the driveway. I sigh and head back inside, praying for the days to go by fast.

Sunday, February 5th 2:15pm

It's the day of the party and we've been running around the house all morning. Cleaning up messes the boys forgot to clean up and putting away all the miscellaneous shit that shouldn't have been out in the first place.

Jenny and Aleks went to go pick up the food and Zach is doing a last minute recording session, leaving me home to decorate and wait for people to get here. I finish hanging up some extra decorations Aleks had picked up when there's a knock at the door.

I look down at my watch and furrow my brows.

It's not even 3. Who could possibly be here?

I pin up the decorations in my hands and step off the stool before walking over to the front door and opening it. As soon as I see who it is, a wide smile makes its way on to my face.

Before I can say anything, arms are pulling me through the door, lifting me off the ground as I'm pulled into a tight hug.

"Niall!"

I look down at him and his comforting smile gives me butterflies. He holds me close to him and I take in his comforting scent.

"I missed ya, Em. Y've no idea how much."

I giggle and shake my head as he pecks my lips before putting me down.

"I don't know... I probably missed you a lot more."

He keeps an arm around my waist as we walk inside, Niall letting out a small laugh as I close the door behind us.

"That's one hell of a shirt, Em. Ya tryin' t' spread the luck?"

I look at him, raising a brow in confusion before it hits me.

Oh yeah. That.

"Hey! I got it for Christmas! It just felt fitting and I don't have a Lizzo shirt."

He laughs once more as I guide him over to the long couch and he takes a seat at the end, pulling me down into his lap.

" 'M just teasin' ya, baby. It's cute. Maybe you'll get one of me if I ever win one."

I look up at him to correct him.

"You mean when you win one. And you will. I know you will. But I will never be any less proud of you. I love your music and I will always be supportive of you."

He smiles and leans down, pecking my lips.

"Thought I's supposed to be the cheesy one in this relationship."

I giggle and cuddle up to him, shaking my head.

"No, sorry. I coined the cheese. You got your pretty looks and sexy voice without it. I got jack shit."

He lets out a loud laugh as he squeezes me tight. He than leans down to my ear and whispers something to me, causing shivers to run through my body.

"Now that's not true. Yer funny, kind and y've got no idea how sexy yer voice is t' me. 'Specially when yer moanin' fer me or sayin' my name."

"Ni-"

He begins to trace kisses up and down my neck before he settles on my collarbone and sucks on it.

"Missed my girl... So much. I think ya missed me just as much, didn't ya?"

I nod my head as continues to suck, letting out little moans as my toes curl.

"Ni- More. Please? L-like you did the other day?"

He pulls away from my neck and I pout as he turns me around in his lap so I'm facing him. He pulls me back in close and whispers to me.

"Ya liked that, honey? Ya liked when I ate ya out?"

I blush, nodding as he smiles and pecks my lips.

"Me too, Petal. Y've no idea how good you tasted on my tongue. Can I taste you, baby?"

Instead of answering, I grab his shirt, fisting it in my hands, and pull him into me, slamming my lips on his in a kiss. I feel him smile against my lips as he wraps his arms around my back, pulling me even closer to the point where there is no distance between us.

Our lips move in sync and all that can be heard is quiet moans and panting coming from our lips. Niall taps on my back and I hesitantly pull away from him, leaving both of us a panting mess.

"Hold on, Em. Let's... Let's go upstairs, yeah? Wrap yer legs around me."

I nod and do as he says. He holds onto me tight and stands up. Just as he turns to head to the stairs, the front door opens and I groan. In walks a horrified Rico and a very confused Aaron.

Niall puts me down and I get flustered, turning to yell at the two men in frustration.

"You idiots! You don't live here! Why didn't you knock?!"

Aaron covers his mouth to hold back a laugh and Rico shouts back at me, totally out of character.

"Nuh uh, missy! You're still a little girl! No sex for you! Stay little forever!"

He pulls me away from Niall and holds me in a protective but possessive embrace, one arm around me and the other on top of my head.

"Aaron... Be my voice of reason, please! This is embarrassing..."

Aaron laughs and I look at Niall with a pleading look on my face. He simply smiles and nods. I manage to get out of Rico's monster hold and leap to Niall, who catches me in his arms. Our attention then turns to the other two men, Aaron with a hand now on Rico's back.

"Listen, buddy. She's not a baby anymore. She can take care of herself! Trust me, especially because it's me. I'm her older brother. Let's give him a chance."

Rico sighs and slumps where he stands, nodding his head before he straightens himself. Niall lets me going and I walk over to the other two, pulling them into hugs.

"I love you both, you know that. But Niall is important to me, and I want you to like him and get to know him."

I pull away from them and they nod and I make my way back to Niall, who happily takes me back into his arms, my back resting against his chest and his arms around my waist.

Aaron and Rico walk up to us and shake hands with Niall, introducing themselves.

"It's nice to meet ya. But I do have a question. I thought ya only had sisters, Em. Aaron is your brother?"

We all laugh and I shake my head, turning in his arms and patting his chest.

"I've known Aaron the longest out of anyone. My whole career. We were both itty bitty fetuses when we started and he was the closest to my age and wasn't trying to parent me. So he kind of took me under his wing and we pretty much just became siblings."

Aaron smirks and nods.

"That's true. In fact, I've got a shit ton of embarrassing videos and pics from the years and I've got time."

Niall and Rico laugh and I just scoff.

"Don't forget, I know where you sleep Aaron Mitchell and I have your mother's number. Try it, I dare you. "

I glare at him, only causing him to laugh more. Before I can say anything else, the front door opens and in walks Jenny, Aleks, Zach and the rest of the people that were invited.

We get the food set up and then everyone settles in the living room as Aleks sets up the projector. I cuddle up close to Niall as he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. With a bowl of popcorn in my lap and snacks shared through the room, all eyes shift to the screen to see the awards starting.

"Hey, Niall, did you ever go to the Grammys? Seems like something you would've done over the years, right?"

Aleks looks away from the screen to look at Niall, waiting for an answer. Niall gives him a small smile and shakes his head.

"No, never. One Direction was never nominated and I've never been nominated as a solo artist."

I smile and kiss his cheek.

"Yet. You will be, though. You're gonna kick ass too."

Niall laughs and pecks my lips and it's quiet for a minute until Rico says something.

"Wait... You were in a band?! And you're a musician?! I thought you were just a normal dude!"

We all laugh and I can't help but snort.

"Rico, I swear to god. I used to talk about him all the time before I met him, do you not listen to me?"

He shrugs and shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth, returning his attention to the screen. We spend the rest of the night cheering and dancing as awards are presented. When Harry wins album of the year, Niall gives me a bear hug, a huge smile on his face.

"He really deserves that. That album was something else!"

I smile and nod, kissing his cheek as he holds me close. We all hang out for a bit until Rico and Aaron decide to head home, due to it being almost midnight. Aleks gets up from the couch, stretching as he begins to make his way to his room with Jenny and Zach following him to their own rooms, leaving Niall and I alone.

I cuddle up to him and he squeezes me tight, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

"It's late, do you wanna stay the night? I think I've got some of your clothes in my dresser."

I pull away and he nods with a smile, before taking me back into his arms and picking me up, carrying me to my bedroom as my laughs echo through the hallway. When we get inside my room, he puts me down and heads over to my dresser to pull out his clothes while I throw the extra pillows off my bed.

"Em."

I turn my attention away from the pillows and when I look at Niall, seeing what is in his hand, my face burns up.

That's... That's the vibrator that Jenny gave me... She had accidentally bought an extra and couldn't return it and forced it on me...

"Um-."

"Ya don't have to hide from me, babe."

I turn my attention back to my bed, now embarrassed as I continue to prep my bed for sleep.

"Forget it, Niall. I haven't opened it. Just pretend like you didn't see it and put it back."

"Did ya... Do ya want me to use it on ya?"

I drop the covers as I turn back to him, my cheeks bright red and my mouth gaped. He steps closer to me and I start to get a little nervous.

"I-I've never used it.. Used any... How would-."

"Do ya want me to, Petal? We don't have to, but if you and to try, I would love to help ya..."

I bite my lip and advert my eyes to the floor as I nod. Niall pulls me into his arms, both hands on my waist as I look up at him and he looks down with a smile.

"Can we try something else, Petal? I wanna see ya. All of ya. Can we... Are you comfortable enough to do that now?"

I bite my lip once more before pausing.

"Could you... do it first? T-take yours off... J-just not your underwear."

He smiles and nods, quickly removing his shirt and his shorts, leaving him in his boxers. He turns his attention back to me and I slowly remove my shirt before unbuttoning my jeans and stepping out of them, leaving me in my bra and panties.

"Can those come off too, Baby? I want to see you. All of you. I want to see my girl."

I give him a nervous nod and I reach around my back and attempt to unclasp my bra with shaking hands. Niall puts his hand on mine and gives me a smile, somehow giving me the push I needed to relax and give in.

He unclasps my bra and pushed the straps off my shoulders, causing it to fall to the ground. I pull down my panties, leaving me completely naked in front of him. He pecks my lips a few times before he guides me over to my bed and we sit down. He pulls me into his lap, my back to his chest and my cheeks start to burn up again.

He pulls the toy out of the packaging as he starts to rub my back in a comforting manner.

"Hey, Petal. Ya got any batteries? I need two AAA."

I nod and lean forward, reaching into the nightstand closest to me. I pull out the batteries and hand them back to him. He puts them in and I hear a faint buzz before he turns it off again.

"Okay, pretty girl. I gotta make sure yer doin' okay, first. You want me to touch ya a bit before we start?"

"P-Please. I'm a little nervous..."

He leaves a couple kisses and I feel a finger start to rub on my clit, causing me to gasp and lean more into Niall.

"Dirty girl. Did ya get this wet jus' thinkin about me touching you with your little toy? God baby, you're practically dripping."

I let out a quiet, breathy moan as he continues to torment my clit with his finger, only pushing his finger an inch in before pulling back out.

"N-Niall, please. I-I've wanted you all day. Please... I need more, I'm ready. Please touch me..."

He sucks on my neck as he turns the vibrator back on, slowly bringing it to my clit.

"Alright, baby. Im gonna start ya on the lowest setting and we'll work our way up to more. But ya gotta keep quiet, remember?"

I bite my lip as he places the vibrator on my clit. My breath hitches as he begins to rub it up and down, the unfamiliar feeling threatening to send me over the edge already. He turns up the setting more and I have to swallow a moan as I throw my head back onto Niall's shoulder.

"Okay pretty girl, I'm gonna throw ya a bit of a curve ball. Think ya can handle it?"

I nod and I squirm in his hold. He smiles and pushes the vibrator onto my clit a little more.

"That's my good girl. Ya see that mirror right in front of us? I want ya to watch what I'm doing to ya. Keep yer eyes open and on us. Every time ya look away, I stop. Think ya can handle that?"

I nod my head as I curl my toes, my eyes opening and looking into the mirror.

"Words, baby. I need to hear you."

"Y-Yes, I think I can do that."

I see him smile in the mirror as I feel him turn the settings up. I throw my head back, letting out a quiet moan until I feel the buzz between my legs stop.

"Niall!"

"Eyes on us, Em. Eyes on us."

I look back into the mirror and as he rubs the vibrator on my clit, I start to find it hard to breathe.

"Niall-."

He hushes me and turns the vibrator onto the highest setting, causing me to squeal and once again, throw my head back into his shoulder as my toes curl at the unbearable pleasure. Until he stops. Again.

"I'm not gonna tell ya again, pretty girl. Look at what I'm doin' to ya. Yer probably close, right? Yer gonna be a good girl. Since ya can't seem to look in the mirror, yer gonna turn around. Yer gonna look me in the eyes and stroke my cock while I fuck you with this little toy of yours. And yer not gonna come until I say. Understood?"

I nod my head but instantly whine as he turns the vibrator off again.

"Y-Yes."

"Yes who? I can't hear ya much, Petal."

"Y-Yes sir, I understand."

I feel his cock harden against me before he quickly flips me around and kicks his boxers off before I can even blink. He turns the vibrator back on and I spit in my hand before placing it on his cock. We give each other a knowing look before starting.

I stare into his ocean eyes as I start to stroke his hardened cock, already dripping with arousal as he starts the vibrator again, pushing it back against my clit as he starts to rub it up and down. It only takes a few minutes but I feel as if I'm about to burst, and I think he is too.

"Fuck, baby! Doin' such a good job fer me. I think I'm gonna come, are ya ready baby? Where do ya want me, Petal?"

"God, Niall! Fuck! P-please! On me! I'm close too!"

His other hand finds my clit as he continues to pleasure me with the small toy.

"Come for me, baby. Come with me."

With one last pump of his cock, Niall comes all over my chest and it drips down my breasts, onto my stomach. I let go of his cock and grab onto his shoulders, riding out my own high as I come all over the vibrator.

"F-Fuck! Niall! I-I! I feel so!"

He hushes me as I come undone, whispering words of comfort.

"I know baby, I know. You did so good. Just let go fer me."

He tosses the vibrator off to the side and we both look down to see one another coated in the others come.

"F-fuck Petal, ya squirted on me! Fuck that's hot."

I let out a small, breathy laugh before falling back into my bed, my arms spread out. Niall gets up from my bed and grabs a towel from my closet. He wipes himself off before he comes back over to the bed and gently wipes me clean.

"Ya did good, Em. So good. I'm proud of ya."

I give him a small smile and he walks over to my dresser, starting to pull out clothes, but I stop him.

"Hey... Ni? Can we... sleep like this? I want to be close to you..."

He smiles and nods, shutting my dresser before walking back over to the bed and he gets under the covers. He pulls me under the covers and pulls me close, laying my head on his chest and he begins to rub his hand up and down my back, causing me to drift to sleep.

————————————————————————

February 11th, 2023 Animate Columbus Columbus, Ohio

I'm currently at another convention, this time for Galaxy Con in Ohio. It's late though and everything is starting to settle down, especially for a Saturday, so I send Penny, my assistant, to fetch us some dinner while I check my phone.

Upon seeing my most recent text notification, a smile appears on my face. Niall.

I open his text and begin to text him.

You're kidding me... Right? There's no way he's actually torn up about this.

I sigh as I text him back and settle on FaceTiming him. My phone barely rings for a second before he answers and I see his face appear on the screen, his eyes lighting up the second he sees me.

"There's my girl!"

I giggle and shake my head at him as I hold my phone in my hands.

"Hi Ni. You miss me that much?"

He throws his head back in a laugh before shaking his head.

"No! More! Oh, forgot t' ask ya. Valentine's Day, can ya take it off?"

I open my mouth to say something and I suddenly remember.

Shit! My mom's birthday! I'll be home! Crap.

"Actually... about that. I totally forgot but I don't need you to pick me up Sunday. I have another flight to catch. It's my mom's birthday on the 13th and I promised her I'd be there to meet her new boyfriend. And I won't be back until the 15th..."

He frowns and nods in understanding. My heart drops seeing him so sad when I suddenly think of something.

"Hey! Why don't you come home with me! My mom already knows you but now you can meet her as my boyfriend! And you can meet my sisters and my nephews! That way we can spend Valentines Day together too! That is... If you don't have anything planned."

His eyes light up once more and he flashes me his gorgeous smile, never ceasing to make my heart melt.

"I'd love to! If yer willin' to have me, then fuck yes! Maybe you can show me around-."

I notice a little girl and her brother I assume, start to come up to me, cosplaying as one of my characters. I cut him off for a quick second so I could talk to them.

"Hey Niall hold that thought a quick sec, just a quick sec, baby."

He nods and I lay my phone on the table so he can still see me but I turn my attention to the little girl in front of me.

"Hello, Gorgeous! What's your name?"

The little girl smiled shyly and I can barely see her, so I get up, coming around the table to kneel to her height.

"L-Lily! Y-You're Nezuko, right?"

I giggle and nod as I start to talk to the little girl and her brother.

"Alright Miss Lily. Here you go! Can I take your picture with your big brother really quick? Is that okay? I'd love to show Tanjiro!"

I look to her brother and he nods with a smile. He picks her up and I take a quick picture of them before waving goodbye.

I sit back down and pick my phone back up, my attention back on Niall, who has a huge smile on his face.

"What's got you so happy, mister?"

He shrugs, his smile only growing as his chin rests in his hand, propping himself up with his elbow.

"Nothing. Yer just cute. 'Specially around kids."

I blush and let out a small laugh.

"Well, I have to keep up with being the best auntie ever so I have to be good with kids! Besides, they're cute! I love kids!"

He smiles and nods and we continue to talk for a bit until I decide to head to bed. I pack up with Niall still on the phone, bidding Penny a goodnight as I head back to my hotel room above the convention. I continue to talk to Niall as I change and he whistles as I take off my shirt.

"Oh hush, you horn dog! You'll get this tomorrow. Oh wait, no you won't!"

He pouts and rolls his eyes.

"That's yer fault. Ya can't stay quiet so we can't do it when we're at yer mom's. Since ya insisted we haaaaad t' stay in yer old room and not in a hotel."

I laugh as I slip on his shirt that I stole, kicking my shorts off before burying myself under the cold covers. I hold my phone up so he can see me, though the room is dark.

"I think you'll survive. I'll make it up to you when we're back in LA, okay? Now I gotta go to bed, you dork. So I can see you tomorrow, remember? We'll meet at baggage claim?"

He nods and blows me a kiss.

"I'll be there. Now get some rest. I'll see ya tomorrow, Petal. Sweet dreams!"

I blow him a kiss back and wave goodbye before hanging up.

————————————————————————

Sunday,February 12th 6:30pm

When I wake up the next morning, my day goes by fast and suddenly I'm landing back home, headed to baggage claim to meet Niall. I look down at my phone for a second to text him and before I can, I'm tackled in a hug and lifted off the ground. Panic quickly fills me until I see who it is.

"Niall James! You scared the absolute shit out of me! Meanie! No kisses for you!"

He lets out a laugh as I lightly smack his chest before he puts me down and leans in, giving me a passionate kiss.

"You wouldn't do that, Em. Ya missed me too much."

I roll my eyes and peck his lips once more before taking his hand. We grab our bags pretty quickly and head outside. I start to search through the lines of cars outside the terminal when I spot hers. Niall and I walk over to her car and as soon as she spots us, she parks and gets out of the car.

She holds her arms out to me and I give her a hug, letting her squeeze me tight as I take in the familiar scent of home. She finally lets me go, but not without leaving a kiss to my forehead.

"Ugh my baby! I missed you! I'm so glad you're home! And Niall! It's so good to see you! I'm really happy to see you both together!"

Niall smiles and gives her a small hug. They let go after a minute and we put our things in the car before we get in: Niall is in the front with myself in the backseat. We all talk as we make our way to my moms house and when we pull into the driveway, my sister is out front with my nephews.

As soon as my mom puts the car into park, I quickly unbuckle and get out. James, or Jamie as we usually call him, runs to me squealing with the biggest smile on his face. I tear up as I pick him up, holding him close as I press kisses to cheeks.

"My monkey! I missed you so much!"

Katie laughs and shakes her head as she walks over to me with Oliver in her arms, who reaches out to me. We laugh and I adjust Jamie on one side because taking Ollie in my other arm, so I'm now carrying both boys, loading them with kisses as they giggle. My mom and Niall grab our bags from the car and when Niall sees me, he flashes me a smile.

Katie raises her brow at me and we all walk into the house. I put down the boys, my back hurting as I lean into Niall.

"Okay sorry, I needed my catch up on baby cuddles. I will be needing more, but my back can't take it right now. Katie, this is my boyfriend, Niall. Niall, this is my sister Katie and my nephews: Oliver and James."

Niall laughs and shakes Katie's hand and gives Jamie a little fist bump, making him giggle. We then carry our bags to my room and when Niall sees it, he laughs.

"Seems like you were just here, Em. I can definitely see this being you."

I blush and shrug. We push our suitcases under the bed and then down, the mattress causing us to bounce just a little. I sigh at the comfy feeling as I lean against Niall, who wraps his arm around me and kisses the top of my head.

Hey holds me for a minute as we sit in a comfortable silence until my mom calls us for dinner. I sigh and we stand up, though Niall takes my hand with a soft smile and leads me to the kitchen where our mouths. Fucking. Drop.

My mom sees me and she walks over with a smile.

"Oh! Emmers! This is-."

"Joel fucking Miller. Ho-ly shit, Ma."

Pedro lets out a laugh and my mom looks confused.

"Now I know for a fact that you lied when you said you watch every stream of mine. I freaking played The Last Of Us last week, Ma. I talked about how I've been watching it?"

She gives me another confused expression and I let out a small sigh and turn my attention back to Pedro, who gives me a smiles as he holds his hand out to shake my hand.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Emily! Your mom has told me so much about you!"

I shake his hand with a small smile.

"I wish I could say the same! All she told me was she was seeing some super nice guy and that she liked him! Shame shame, madre."

She flips me off and we laugh, and Niall steps closer to me so he's now at my side. He shakes Pedro' hand and introduces himself with a smile.

"Niall Horan. It's really great to meet you!"

"You too! I feel like your name is really familiar but I can't really put my finger on it. What do you do for a living?"

I pat Niall's back lightly and plant a kiss before going into the kitchen to help my mom.As they talk, I help my mom unpack dinner and set the table before she calls everyone to the table. Jamie runs over to me giggling so I pick him up, planting a raspberry on his cheek before setting him in his chair.

Niall pulls out my chair for me and I kiss his cheek before sitting down, scooting myself in as he sits down next to me. Just as I'm about to dig into my food, my mom clears her throat to get my attention and I look up at her.

"We're saying grace, missy."

I scoff and shake my head.

"You know, as someone who has never been a dedicated Christian and even raised her own daughter as a jew, I'm calling bull. Since when are you this religious?"

She sighs and shakes her head. I start to take a drink of my water as I wait for her response.

"About the passed year. I got more involved a little after Pedro and I started dating."

I choke on my drink and start to cough as I hear the words leave her mouth. Niall pats my back and looks at me with concern but I shake my head.

"So what you're telling me is you don't want to talk to me anymore? You told me you were dating someone 2 months ago. Never gave me his name, never really told me anything else other than that he was good to you. You don't even talk to me anymore. Is it all just about Katie and Claire now?"

My mom huffs and snaps back.

"It wouldn't be this way if you hadn't have left! You couldn't wait to leave! I knew I never should've let you do voice acting! You could've been so much better and I failed you! So yes, I don't talk to you! Sometimes it hurts to even think about you! Raising you was the hardest thing I ever had to do and you always made it harder! I couldn't have a life because you couldn't be alone! So yeah, forgive me for wanting to keep this from you so I could actually be myself for once and not have to be your mom!"

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as she finishes. I can't even bring myself to say anything. I simply stand up from my chair, pushing it back in and walk to the door. Niall stands up to follow me, taking my hand but I wiggle out of his grasp, shaking my head.

"Niall, please, not now. Just...Not now."

Niall's POV

"Niall, please, not now. Just...Not now."

She grabs her keys and heads out the door, my heart splitting as I watch her leave. The rest of the house is silent for a good minute before I can't take it anymore and I decide to say something. I stare straight at her mother, and I just let everything go.

"Ya know, she tries hard to please ya. All the time. She wants ya to be proud of her but she feels like ya don't care. She just wants ya to be interested in what she does! She's amazing at it! And she loves to do it! I love seeing her so passionate about what she does and that's all she wants from you! I know she hasn't told me everything but she does try for ya. She misses the relationship she used to have with ya, and she was really trying. I hope for yer sake, she's willing to forgive ya."

I can see tears in her eyes but I turn away and head out the door myself to look for Emily. I'm not even a foot from the house when I hear someone calling my name. It's Katie, Emily's sister.

"Niall, wait-."

"Look, if yer gonna try and convince me to apologize, I'm sorry but I can't."

She shakes her head and folds her arms.

"No, she deserved that. She asked Claire and I to not say anything to her about Pedro. Since Em moved... It's been hard for my mom. She was angry even though she agreed to let her leave. She was mad that she wanted to. She'll never admit this to Emily but at first... She regretting getting pregnant with her. Emily's dad... He's serving a live sentence. He killed a lot of people and my mom didn't know that when she met him. But she felt bad and allowed his family to see Em when she was younger. That sparked a lot of problems. She's very insecure now and I just... I don't know what to do to help her... And I hate seeing them at odds like this."

She wipes the tears that have fallen down her cheeks before she continues.

"I came out to give you a few places to check for her. She'll most likely be at the park though. There's a giant Willow tree there and she used to hang out there all the time when she got upset. I'll stay here and talk to my mom."

I nod at her, giving her a small smile as thanks before running off to go find my girl. After about a 15 minute walk, I reach the park and I let out a sigh of relief.

Just as Katie has said, she's under the Willow tree, her knees to her chest with her head down. I sit down next to her and hearing her quiet cries breaks my heart. I pull her into my lap and she starts to panic, but I hush her calmly. I begin to rock her back and forth and I start to softly sing to her.

"When you feel your love's been taken, When you know there's something missing, In the dark, we're barely hanging on. And you rest your head upon my chest, And you feel like there ain't nothing left-."

Her cries only get louder and I pull her to my chest, holding her tight as I continue to sing to her.

"I'm afraid that what we had is gone... Then I think of the start, And it echoes a spark. And I remember the magic electricity. Then I look in my heart, There's a light in the dark."

She begins to settle down, only faint sniffles coming from her as she adjusts herself in my arms so she sees my face.

"C-can you keep going?"

I give her a smile and I nod, adjusting her in my arms before continuing once again.

"Still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me. That I wanna keep-."

I look into her eyes and I hear her quietly whisper, her voice full of sadness as she holds back her tears.

"Please don't leave..."

I lean down and peck her lips before whispering to her.

"Never. I'm always here for ya, Em. No matter what."

She sniffles, laying her head on my chest as we sit in silence for a few minutes until she speaks up.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry you had to see that... I just.. I wish I was good enough for her. Like I don't care that she's dating Pedro Pascal but she never told me anything! I just-."

She begins to tear up again and I rub her back as I continue to rock her. After a few minutes, her phone starts to ring and she reluctantly answers, she talks for a minute before looking back up at me.

"Katie asked if we could come back... My mom wants to apologize and talk to me..."

I kiss the top of her head as I squeeze her tight.

"Whatever you want to do, Petal. I'm here every step."

She cuddles up to me and she's quiet for a second before she pats my chest.

"Could you- could you carry me back? I think my legs are still a bit shaky..."

I chuckle and adjust my hold on her before standing up and making the trek back to her mom's house. As soon as we arrive at the house, I see her sister standing outside waiting for us. As soon as she sees us, she lets out a sigh of relief.

We head inside to see her mom on the couch and Pedro in the recliner in the corner of the room. I set her down on the couch and before anyone can say anything, my phone starts to ring. I pull it out to see it's Paul.

Emily squeezes my hand and gives me a small smile.

"Go, it's important. I'll be okay."

I give her a look filled with worry and she just puckers her lips. I roll my eyes playfully and peck her lips a few times before going outside to answer the phone.

Emily's POV

After a long, tear-filled conversation with my mom, I'm feeling a lot better. After hugging it out, she decides to head to bed early but Pedro stays up.

"Hey Emily, I was wondering. Would you want to maybe go out and get some ice cream? I've gotten to know your sisters pretty well in the past year and I was hoping you and I would be able to do that."

I nod with a smile and he smiles, grabbing his car keys before we head out the door. When we walk out, I see Niall still on the phone, leaning against the garage. I lean up to him and plant a kiss to his cheek. He lowers his phone down and I whisper into his ear.

"We're gonna go get some ice cream. I'll be back in a little bit."

He nods and pecks my lips before opening his mouth to ask what I already know he's going to ask.

"Wi-."

"Yes, I will bring you back a couple scoops of Cookie Dough. Don't stay out here too much longer or the mountain lions are gonna eat you."

He rolls his eyes before raising his phone back to his ear and I walk to Pedro's car, giggling like a child. We get in and we chat as he drives. He pulls up to the shop and my mouth drops.

Icicles? How the hell-.

"Did you-."

He only smiles at me as he parks the car.

"I heard you mention how much you missed it to your mom once on the phone so I thought this would be a good choice."

I smile and we both get out with Pedro locking the car before we head inside. We get our ice cream and find an empty table to sit at.

"Hey... I'm sorry about dinner. I don't usually like to confront things but I guess-."

He smiles and shakes his head.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I love your mom, I do. But she definitely had it coming. For the record, she is proud of you, but she feels like she failed you. She thinks you're capable of so much more and she said that she regrets letting you leave.."

My heart drops and I try to fight the tears threatening to spill.

"Is that why she won't talk to me anymore? Because I do try... I try to talk to her and I just can't reach her anymore. I found out you guys were dating like 2 months ago and I didn't even know you were... Well... You."

He sighs and nods as he leans back into his chair.

"Your mom and I talked about that after you left. She wants to try better. She wants to be there for you."

I take a bite of my ice cream before speaking again, trying to push down all my feelings in the small bowl in front of me.

"And you? What do you think?"

He raises his brows for a second, shock evident in his expressions before he smiles.

"What do I think? Well... I think you killed it in Assassination Classroom. That second to last episode was brutal."

My mouth gapes and he laughs.

"Y-You've... You've seen my work?"

He nods with a smile and I can't help but smile as well.

"I have. I've got nieces and nephews that watch anime and they like a lot of different ones. Attack On Titan was a bit brutal for me but I thought you did great. Have you done any non-violent ones though? I don't think my heart can take much more."

I laugh and we continue to talk and eat our ice cream.

"Hey, so I wanted to talk to you about something serious."

I give him my undivided attention, a brow raised as her sighs and looks into my eyes.

"I want to propose to your mom tomorrow. Your sisters have already given me their blessing but I wanted yours as well."

My mouth drops a little and I start to choke. I cough into my arm a few times before regaining my composure.

"Wow... Okay. Sure? I mean you seem great and she seems to really like you... I'm just a little surprised you asked me. I am the child that she didn't mention."

He shakes his head with a frown.

"You're important to your mom, so you're important to me. I care about your sisters as if they were my own. Of course they don't need me to be their dad or anything-."

"She told you about him... Didn't she?"

He gives me a somber expression as he nods, causing me to let out a sigh.

"Yeah well that's what happens when you open your legs for the next guy you see. She was freshly divorced and itching for another kid. Big mistake that was."

"But you wanted one... right?"

I let out another sigh but I can't bare to look at him.

"When I was a kid, yeah. But it was a stupid dream...What are you trying to say?"

He sighs and hesitantly puts a hand on top of mine.

"Only that you don't have to worry about it anymore. I'm gonna be here for you. Maybe we can go from there?"

I snort and shake my head.

"Pedro, are you trying to steal someone else's kids so you can have your own? Is that why you're with my mom?"

He blushes, his eyes widening as he fumbles his words and I start to laugh.

"Well I-."

"I'm just fucking with you! She does the same thing! And that's really sweet of you to offer and I'll definitely think about it..."

He smiles and we talk for a bit longer before we decide to call it a night. I quickly order Niall's ice cream and we head back to my mom's house. Pedro playfully ruffles my hair and says goodnight before he heads into my mom's room.

I laugh as I open my bedroom door and I see Niall sitting on the bed.

"What's so funny?"

I blush when I see him, shaking my head as I walk in, closing the door behind me. I walk over to the bed and hold the ice cream out to him.

"Nothing. Here's your ice cream."

He takes it from me with a smile and I move to my bag and pull out clothes. I quickly change and go back to the bed where Niall is still eating his ice cream. I climb on the bed and over Niall, sitting down in the open spot.

Niall holds out his spoonful of ice cream to me and before I can take a bite, it starts to drip on my chest, causing me to gasp.

"Niall!"

He laughs and puts his cup down on the nightstand before turning back to me. He pulls me into his lap and slips the straps of my dress down my shoulders. He lowers his mouth down and begins to lick up the ice cream that spilt. I let out a small squeak as his licks turn into sucking and he pins me down on the bed.

"I thought you said I couldn't keep quiet."

I smirk and he smiles, hovering over me.

"Yeah, I did. But I had a thought. And I need my girl real bad. Wanna try somethin' new?"

I bite my lip and nod, already feeling myself start to heat up. He smiles and before I can blink, he flips us over so I now sit on top of him. He then leans in a little bit and starts to whisper to me, his sultry voice making me wetter.

"Alright, baby. I'm gonna move ya, okay? We're not takin' our clothes off but it's still gonna feel good."

I nod, biting my lip as he positions me over his crotch. I can already tell what he's planning, so without further instruction, I lower myself onto his hard on and I start to move back and forth on him. He groans quietly and I hold back a moan.

He grips my hips and starts to help me move on him, dipping my hips a little. He holds me close as I continue to grind on him, and he smashes his lips against mine in a hot kiss.

He starts grinding into me and I moan into the kiss, my toes curling at the intense feeling. He pulls away from my lips, panting and whining a little.

"F-Fuck, Petal. I'm gonna-."

I nod and pull him back into a kiss, grinding harder on him. I moan into his mouth and he groans, squeezing me tight as we reach our highs. We pull away, panting as I flop on my spot of the bed. Niall gets up and pulls some towels out of my closet before pulling out a new pair of underwear for each of us.

He comes over to me and gently slips off my soiled underwear before gently cleaning me up and slipping on the fresh pair. He then cleans himself up, throws everything into the hamper and then crawls into bed next to me. He pulls me into his arms and lets out a content sigh.

"That felt really good, Ni. I-I was a little surprised but... Wow."

He nuzzles his head into my shoulder, pressing a kiss to it before he lets out a small chuckle.

"Me too, Petal. I missed ya... So much."

Before I can respond, I hear the sound of his soft snores, signaling he fell asleep. I cuddle up close to him and close my eyes, falling asleep in his arms.

—————————————————————————

February 14th, 2023 5pm.

The day had mostly gone by fast. We had a small family get together to celebrate my mom's engagement and then everyone else parted ways, leaving Niall and I alone in the house.

He walks up to me, in casual clothes, and plops down next me on the couch.

He leans over and presses a kiss to the side of my head as he pulls me into his arms.

"Take out is ordered, should be here in about 20. Are ya pickin' the movie?"

I curl up in his embrace and nod against his chest.

"Yeah, I figured we could watch a few comedies. Oh shoot! I forgot your present!"

He chuckles as he watches me shoot up from the couch. I race to my room, grabbing his present as I hear a knock on the door. When I re-enter the living room, Niall is unpacking our take out and setting in on the coffee table.

I hold his present behind my back as I walk up to him and he turns to face me with a smile. 

"Whatcha got there, Em?"

I unveil his gift and he smiles. I hand it to him and he opens it, tearing up immediately. I made a scrapbook of us, with little cute notes and plenty of empty pages to be filled.

"Do you... Do you like it? I know it's not really anything elaborate or expensive but I-."

Before I can finish, his lips push against mine as he engulfs me in his arms. He pecks my lips a few more times before he pulls away, still holding me in his arms.

"Are ya fuckin' kidding me, Emily? I love it! This has t' be one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. And I can't wait to put more pictures in it."

He kisses me one more time before pulling away.

"Lemme go get yers, really quick."

I nod as he walks off and I sit down on the couch. He comes back as I start to dig through the bags of food and I look up to see him holding a small bundle of items: a blanket, a small teddy bear and my favorite chocolates. I take them from him, tears threatening to spill.

"I know it's small, but I promise it's not everything! Just what I could do since we're not home. I promise when we get back-."

I put my gifts aside and pull him into a kiss, shutting him up. He sighs and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. Our lips move in sync until we're rudely interrupted by my mom's cat clawing at my leg. I pull away from Niall, groaning in pain.

"Lucas! You little shit! Naughty kitty!"

I pull away from Niall and deal with the cat before dealing with my bloody leg. When I come back into the living room, Niall has everything ready and it makes me tear up. I cuddle up to him on the couch and he hands me a bowl.

We curl up and eat as we watch movies and as soon as I finish eating, I set my bowl on the coffee table.

"Hey.. Niall? I have a question for you."

He puts his bowl down on the coffee table before he turns to look at me expectantly.

"I have an event... On Saturday. It's a premiere... For one of the animes I'm in. I was wondering... If you maybe wanted to go with me? I know it's like a public event but I just wanted to ask..."

He smiles and pulls me into his arms, pecking my lips softly.

"I'd love to. Don't think I have anything that day. Lemme know what yer wearin' so I can match with ya."

I smile and nod, hugging him before laying my head on his chest. We silently watch the movie until he pops a question.

"Hey... Em? I've got Late Late on Thursday night into early Friday morning... Ya know.. Heaven and all... Come with me. Please?"

I lift my head and look at him in shock.

"Late Late? Niall... That's a really big deal... Are you sure you want me there?"

He smiles and places a kiss on my forehead.

"Yer the only one I want there."

I smile and nod. He hugs me closer and I lay my head back on his chest. We continue to watch movies until about 11pm, when he taps me on the back. I look up and he stares into my eyes.

"Ya know... Pedro said he and yer mom were stayin' in a hotel tonight... So we're alone. And I got ya somethin'. Thought we could try it out."

I raise my eyebrow but I nod. He smiles and picks up the remote, turning off the tv before throwing it back onto the coffee table. He then adjusts his hold on me and stands up, carrying me to my bedroom as I laugh. He sets me on my bed and I lay back as he pulls something out of his suitcase.

He pulls out a small box and walks over to me, a small smirk on his face.

"I want ya to take yer shirt and skirt off fer me. Can ya do that, Petal?"

I nod with a blush, quickly removing them before throwing them in a random corner of my room. Niall whistles at my appearance.

About a week ago, Jenny and I went lingerie shopping and I bought a few sets since I didn't have any. I wore a white set today.

"Ho-Ly shit, Em. Is that new? God.. Ya look... Fuck..."

I blush as he walks closer and sits on the bed. He holds out the box to me and I hesitantly take it. It's a small-ish 'u' shaped vibrator.

"Y-You got me a vibrator?"

He smiles and shakes his head.

"I got us a vibrator. This one specifically can be controlled from m' phone. So when I'm gone... 'Specially on tour... I can still make ya feel good. But this one... It's a little extra special. Remember how I made ya feel good with m' fingers in ya?"

I blush and nod, biting my lip at the thought.

"Well... This one goes inside ya a little bit. Just like my fingers did, only a little deeper. Ya wanna try it?"

I nod quickly and Niall smiles. He opens the toy and sets it up, quickly installing the app on his phone and syncs it. He tests it out a few times, changing the settings. I only grow more wet from the sounds. He then sets it down and lays down, his head close to my clit.

"Fuck... I haven't even touched ya yet and yer soaking through yer panties, babe."

He runs his finger up and down the wet spot of my panties, teasing me before he pulls my panties down and throws them somewhere in the room.

"Alright, baby. I gotta stretch ya out a little bit, okay? Just like I did last time. If it hurts, don't be afraid to tell me."

I nod and he looks at me, nodding when I give him another nod of approval. He begins to tease my clit now, running two fingers up and down before he pushes them in all the way. I gasp a little but he continues, moving them around.

He makes a 'come hither motion and I let out a little squeak. He moves his fingers in and out until he slowly adds in a third. I throw my head back, moaning quietly.

"F-Fuck.. Niall.."

He smiles and shushes me before adding a fourth finger. I grasp the covers underneath me, trying not to wiggle at the pleasure.

"Fuck! N-Niall! I think I'm!"

He pulls his fingers out and I let out a cry of frustration. He smirks, grabbing the vibrator and quickly slips it inside me, though he keeps a hold on the other end. I gasp, throwing my head further into the bed.

I feel... So full... And it's not even that deep...

"Be a good girl. Ya gotta make it to the highest setting. Don't come until I say, okay?"

I nod and bite my lip. He smiles and grabs his phone, turning the vibrator on to the lowest setting. He teases me with it for a few minutes, pulling the vibrator in and out just a little as it vibrators against all the my sensitive bits.

"Yer doing so good. Hold on just a bit longer, okay?"

I nod and he turns it on to the highest setting. Pleasure shoots up through my entire body and I begin to shake a little.

"F-FUCK! NIALL!"

He starts to push the vibrator in further and I move my hips to meet his movements. I moan loudly, letting out curse after curse.

"Fuck! Haa! Baby! Please! I-I can't! Shit, Niall!"

"Fuck, yer so sexy. Come for me, baby girl. Ya deserve it."

The second the words leave his mouth, I let go, my toes curling as I writhe in pleasure. I slowly calm down, a little overwhelmed with that being the hardest I've ever come.

"Shit... God Em. Ya fuckin' squirted, baby. Ya know how hot that is? God I love it when ya do that.F-Fuck..."

He pulls the vibrator out of me and I whimper at the loss before quickly adjusting again. I slowly sit up and grab Niall.

"Let me help you, Ni. I wanna make you feel good too."

He smiles and shakes his head.

"I'm fine, Petal. I don't need ya to. Today was about you. Lemme get ya cleaned up. We gotta be up early to leave in the morning."

I pout but nod. Niall cleans me up with a towel before sliding my panties back on. He wipes off the vibrator and puts it back into his suitcase before changing himself, since he was now covered in my release.

He finishes packing up and then gets into bed with me, pulling me into his arms. With a kiss to my forehead, he turns out the light and we fall asleep to the sound of each other's breathing.

Thursday,February 16th. 4:40pm

I finish putting on my makeup, checking myself out in the mirror before deeming myself ready. Just as I grab my person, my phone dings.

I smile when I see it's from Niall, quickly texting him back before I leave my room. I walk down the stairs and grab my keys before turning to Zach.

"Hey, Zachy? Would you please pick up my dress when you go pick up your shirt? I'll Venmo you some gas money."

He gives me a thumbs up from the couch but then turns with a questioning look.

"Where are you going? I mean I don't mind but why can't you get it?"

I sigh as I slip on my heels.

"It wasn't ready before and I'm not gonna be home until late tomorrow.I'm not gonna have any more time. Please?"

He groans but nods. I rush over to the couch and reach over from the back, giving him a small hug. I then let him go, quickly leaving the house. I walk down the driveway and see a Black SUV. The back door opens and out comes Niall, looking hot as ever.

He smiles when he sees me and holds his arms out to me. I walking into his comforting arms and he quickly wraps me up tight. He kisses me, lifting me up a little before pulling away.

"Wow Emily... You look... You look breathtaking."

I giggle and peck his cheek.

"You don't look too bad yourself, slugger."

He chuckles and squeezes me before helping me inside the vehicle. He introduces me to his manager who is sitting in the passenger seat and we all talk until we arrive at the studio.

Friday,February 17th 2am

The night goes by pretty fast and quick into the morning when we finally leave. Paul drops us off at Niall's house and the second we step into his bedroom, we collapse on the bed, still in our clothes.

I groan as I roll onto my back, reluctantly getting up. I kick off my heels and strip out of my dress before tossing it to the side and raiding Niall's closet. I slip on one of his t shirts before coming back out to see him in just his boxers sitting up tiredly against the headboard.

I smile as I climb onto the bed and curl up next to him. He wraps an arms around my waist and just as we're about to lay down, I remember something, my body instantly shooting back up.

"Shit! Heaven is out now!"

Niall groans and tries to pull me back down but I push him away and grab my phone.

"Em, please. It's so late-."

"Nope, I'm listening to it right now."

He sighs and I pull open my music and sure enough, it's the first song sitting in my recently added. I press play and shivers run through my spine as it starts.

Strange light revolves around you You float across the room Your touch is made of something Heaven can't hold a candle too You're made of somethin' new

I lay there quietly as it plays, nodding my head to the beat. Once it's over, I plug my phone back and and I hug Niall right, finally laying back down with him.

"What'd ya think, baby?"

I peck his lips with a small smile before laying my head on his chest.

"Perfect. Just as I expected."

He squeezes me lightly in his arms until he slowly lets go, the only movement coming from him is his breathing as he sleeps. I smile to myself and lay my head over his heart, falling asleep to my favorite melody.

Saturday, February 18th. 2pm THE ORPHEUM THEATRE Los Angeles, California

Niall and I step out of the SUV and onto the red carpet. This isn't my first movie premiere for an anime I've been in, but it is my first time bringing someone with me that wasn't already in the cast.

Niall gives me a comforting smile as we walk down, taking pictures, both together and with the cast, and I do a few small interviews.

I get to the last interview, a young woman named Natalie, who has interviewed me at almost every premiere I've had. She gives me a soft smile and I return it.

"Emily! It's always so good to see you! And you look incredible, as you always do!"

"Thank you Natalie! So do you!"

She smiles and nods.

"So, this is big for you! Demon Slayer has absolutely blown up! As one of the producers of the anime,as well as the darling, fierce Nezuko, did you ever think you would get this far?"

I giggle and shake my head before answering her question.

"Not really. I have loved it from the very beginning, but I don't think anyone expected it to blow up as much as it has."

She asks me a few more questions before getting to the one I've been waiting for.

"I see you've brought someone with you tonight!"

I nod with a small smile. I look at Niall for reassurance and he nods with a smile, so I turn back to Natalie.

"Yeah, this is my boyfriend, Niall."

Natalie nods with a small smile.

"Have you seen the series, Niall? What do you think about your girlfriend's role in it?"

He smiles and squeezes me tight as he answers.

"I think she's doin' an amazing job. I love the show, for sure, and I can't wait to see what's next."

Natalie smiles and jots down a few notes before looking up and gesturing to her photographer.

"Would you mind if we took a photo of you both?"

We smile and shakes our heads, cuddling up close for the picture. We then wave goodbye to Natalie and head inside the theater. We take our seats with Niall on one side of me and Bryce on the other.

When it's finally over, we all head back to my house for the after party. I change out of my dress into something more comfortable and when I come back down, Niall is chatting with Bryce and his wife. He smiles when he sees me and pulls me into his side, a drink in his other hand.

"There she is! We were just talkin' about ya."

I giggle and shake my head. We start to chat and Zach walks by, a glare present on his face. He grumbles something but I manage to catch it.

"Yeah, that's all you do. Use her to stay relevant."

I growl and grit my teeth, scolding him.

"Zachary, shut it before I throw my shoe."

He rolls his eyes and shrugs as he grabs something from the fridge.

"You're just mad that I'm right. Get over it."

Before I can yell at him again, he walks away and joins a group, starting to chat with them. Niall lets me go and refills his drink, filling it all the way before he chugs it.

Throughout the night, I fight back the urge to smack Zach as he continues his attitude towards Niall, and Niall continues to drink. I hadn't kept a good enough eye on him and now he's so sloshed, he can't stand straight. I hold him up, deciding it's time to take him home.

"Ya know... I don't understand why ya keep him around, Em. He's an asshole. And ya let him get away with it..."

I sigh, trying to shrug off his words as I get him into my car, buckling him before getting into the drivers seat. He continues to drunkenly ramble until we reach his house and he lets out a groan.

"I know Niall, hold on. Let's get you inside."

I get out and help him out before walking us to the front door, unlocking it with his keys I snagged from his pocket. I struggle, but I manage to get him upstairs and into bed. 

I get him a glass of water from the kitchen as well as some Advil, leaving it on his bedside table. I sit down on the edge of his bed for a minute, running the day through my head when he interrupts me.

"Ya know, maybe he's right. Ya let him talk like that to me, about us... Maybe yer the one using me...Maybe ya are too young... Maybe-."

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and stand up, not even responding to him as I storm out of his house. The second I'm in my car, I breakdown completely. I reach for my phone and call the one person I can think of. My mom.

Too shaky to hold the phone up to my ear, I place it on speaker as it rings, and eventually it's answered. I try my best to calm my breathing, but I let a shaky cry.

"M-Mama-."

"Emily? Are you okay?"

That's not my mom... That's not even female.. Is that-

"P-Pedro?"

"I'm sorry, Emily. Your mom left her phone at home. She won't be back for a while. Are you okay? You sound like you're crying..."

I sniffle and let out a whimper, and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Mija, listen to me. Take some deep breaths okay? In for 4, hold for 4, out for 4. Can you do that for me?"

I let out another whimper but I nod, doing as he says. After a couple breaths, I'm able to calm down enough and I pull out of Niall's neighborhood, Pedro still on speaker.

"T-Thank you.."

I hear him sigh through the phone and I sniffle as I drive.

"Of course, mija. ¿Qué pasa? Why are you crying?"

I sniffle wait I start to explain to him the events of the night and I hear him let out another sigh.

"I'm so sorry he said that, Emily. I'm sure he didn't mean it, but it doesn't make it easier to hear."

I stay silent as I drive, only letting out little sniffles.

"Are you going to go home? If I were you, I would want to cool off, not be around your roommate for a bit."

"I think... I think I'm gonna go stay with someone else... I really don't want to go home... I'm just so hurt... I'm angry and I'm frustrated... I feel betrayed..."

"Well, whatever you decide to do, you know your mom and I will support you. I head back to LA in about a week. We'll get lunch okay? Talk some more. I'll next you my number from your mom's phone. If you need anything, anything at all, you call me, okay?"

I sniffle as I pull into the parking lot of my friend Christina's apartment complex. I park my car and sit there for a minute before I answer him.

"I will, I promise. I just got to my friend's place. I think I'm gonna try to get some sleep. I'll keep you and my mom updated and I guess I'll see you next week?"

We say goodnight and hang up before I get out of my car, locking it and heading up to Christina's door. I knock softly and it quickly opens to reveal the tall, dark haired woman.

Before I can say anything, she pulls me inside and wraps me in a tight hug. It's only then that I start to fall to pieces, and I know I won't be okay.

WC 12,912

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Tag List!

@harrysmimi @violetsandfluff @be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @strwbrrydaydreams @kaminokatiee @buffysimonriley @freedomfireflies @babyiamperfectforyou @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs

[fenimores-book-nook]

day 18 // a lil' life update :)

dates written : January 16th/17th - 2024, Tuesday/Wednesday

Well! It has been quite a while since I last wrote, hasn't it? Exactly two weeks, dang. So, I thought about just doing more of a life update for this one. ;) Which will probably, basically still be about self focusing.

!! WARNING !! I will be using a lot of photos. ;)))

Well, at the start of the month I had some friend hand outs I went to. My bestie since grade school and I hung out together finally, we don't see each other too often since she's still in school; senior year of high school, which is a very busy year. Or it was for me.

One of our favorite things to do that we've done since we became friends and "hangouts" were a thing for us, is dressing up to different, fun themes! So we did that again, bringing back old memories. :,) The theme above is: Going to a 1882 French Play. Very specific, I know. But that makes it more fun.

I had two more friend hangouts after, one was with some of my "once in a while friends." Like the friends you get together with once in a while. One of my close friends is involved in those hangouts, though, which I'm very grateful for since at times I feel like I don't completely fit with the group. But she helps. :) And I'm not saying my other friends are bad, they aren't, and I do like seeing them every now and then.

Speaking of that one close friend I mentioned:

Okay, okay, let me give context. At this group hangout, it was with my closer friends, for one friend's 19th birthday. One of the games we played was called "Stir the Pot." Which is a fun game, but it can be a little iffy sometimes. You just gotta remember it's a game. But me and another friend didn't want to be too mean, so we played more mellow cards.

Now, the photo context: one friend got this card to give to someone and during their time of debating who to give it to, Zainah and I (the one in the white dress) were being incredibly silly and laughing while Zainah was trying to pour some coca-cola into a cup. So the card ended up going to both of us which was probably the core highlight of the night, because we both absolutely lost it together.

Getting into the topic of all things books-of course-I got another bookshelf! I currently have three, but one of them is a very small one, and the other one is about half the size of the one in the photo, with less shelf room. So obviously, I need more book space. AND- I got this one for free! It used to be from someone my family knew that she was going to throw out. So with the help of my brother and virtual encouragement of my sister, we spent a day fixing it up and putting it in my room! The next day I shelved books and decorated it. :)

One of the books I'm making my way through is Live by Sadie Robertson. It's a really amazing book for me to read right now, it's helping with my faith and also gives me comfort! I really like Sadie's style of writing, so I'm enjoying this one. :) I have also been doing a study in Psalm too, I read at least one chapter a day, or at least, I try to. Focusing on myself has really helped me focus on my relationship with God too. It's been a rough time in the past, but it's better now. <3

Before I get too invested in talking more about my self focusing journey, some last minute things: it has been very cold here in good ol' Kansas. We've been getting a lot of snow and when, yes, it is so pretty and I love snow, I am SO ready for spring weather. But a cool thing that I was able to do, because it was so cold, is walk on a frozen lake! (or pond, my park ranger brother would know, haha) My parents and I visited my brother at his work where he's a park ranger and my brother and I walked along the edge of the lake! It was so cool to see all the frozen things beneath me. The little feather lookin' things on top of the water are frozen leaves! Even if it was freezing and I definitely should've worn boots, it was beautiful.

The other day, my mom and I went to one of our small town coffee shops; I can't remember exactly what drink I got but it was super good. I've come to really love that place and their drinks. :) When we got back home, Mom made a pot of tea and it was just a nice cozy day. It had started to snow and became very windy on the way home, so I'm glad we left when we did. It was a good day to just chill and hang out with my mom. :) <3

Back to some *new-ish* self focusing/discovery things!

(I hope you like my very well thought out title) ;p

So, a little bit of backstory: some people might remember, if you read my posts when I first joined tumblr, I would write some things about the Aspec/AroAce* community. Those posts are not up anymore, the reason being is that I stopped identifying as AroAce. But what I didn't realize until now is the real reason why I stopped identifying as AroAce. The reason I had thought why I stopped is, that I felt like I could/did (wanted to) experience romantic or sexual attraction. So, really, I was like: I was wrong (I was sad), I want a romantic relationship (do you, though? really think about it bro). I left the label behind, not wanting anything to do with it. I wanted to feel those attractions and when I thought about how I couldn't, I would feel really sad about it. How I would end up alone (which is not a bad thing) and my friends would all leave me behind to live lives with their romantic partners (my overthinking brain was telling me these things). I felt extremely lonely. That's when society's ideas and views on the Aspec community/labels started contorting my own. I started believing society's thoughts on it and thought that I just needed to stop being sad and how to do that was to ditch the AroAce label. (which, in some cases/for some people, ditching labels helps, but for me, labels can help me understand who I am and why I feel/think the way that I do)

Little did I know that the reason why I felt so sad every time I thought about being AroAce wasn't because I'm AroAce, but because of what society says about the Aspec community. I let those false ideas and thoughts into my head when I should've been kicking them to the curb. BUT! We all learn from mistakes and honestly, I think that it wasn't a complete mistake for me to stop identifying as AroAce. Because NOW, I have a much better understanding of myself and my identity, and some of it comes from me attempting to hide who I really am back then. (I say "back then," but it was really only a couple months ago)

Of course, I'm still working through my self acceptance and self discovery, but really, me realizing that I'm Aspec-again-couldn't come at a better time! It has helped me focus more on myself as well as help me discover more about myself. :) Earlier this week I had an amazing realization that God's timing really is perfect. If I wouldn't have been thinking about my Aspec identity, I probably would be struggling more to focus on myself. So it works out great!

*Aromantic Asexual - a person does not experience, or rarely experiences romantic or sexual attraction. There are many different kinds of AroAce and countless ways on how to be AroAce, and none of them are wrong! It just depends on the person and how they identify with their own Aspec identity. (Aspec definition in photo above)

(AroAce art from pinterest) The AroAce flag are those colors, if you didn't know. ;) (though, there are many different versions of the flag)

As you might've already gathered, I used to identify as "AroAce," now, I think I prefer "Aspec." I feel like Aspec is more broad than what AroAce is, in my own opinion. Honestly? I don't know exactly where I land on the Aromantic Asexual spectrum. And that's okay! I'm actually okay with that now. I'm fine with just doing my own research at my own pace, wanting to think about my Aspec identity as much as I want to. :) I had so much trouble accepting and loving my Aspec identity before and I'm not going to let that happen again. If later down the road, I decide it isn't a label for me, then okay! IDENTITY IS FLUID! Which can be very frustrating at times, but it's a beautiful thing too. :)

And now you see why I wanted to wait until the end to talk about my self focusing things: I have a LOT to say. So, don't be surprised if I have more Aspec-focused posts coming out! The world needs more Aspec representation!! Plus, I like writing about it. ;)

One last photo of my doggo, Charlie who got a haircut the other day and my mom brought him to our shop. He approves. ;)

I hope you enjoyed my life update! And if you didn't, well, no offense, but I don't really care. I do these writings for myself because I enjoy doing them. :)

And, if you are a fellow Aspec, remember that there is a place for you in this world! It is a wonderful and beautiful thing to be a part of this community. You and how you feel are valid, no matter who you are or how you identify.

Until next time,

Thalia <3

[blood-injections]

This is part 1. Part 2

I have a scrapped killjoy au that I got about five chapters in before I rewrote and the plot changed and I’ve been sitting on what to do with those chapters, cause they’re still good writing and a great idea for something, they just we’re going nowhere. Maybe I’ll make them into a one shot or something. The rewritten version changed the beginning and reused some of the stuff and that’s a fic in my drafts that I’m slowly but surely working on. It’ll be out at some point, maybe when I have time to write this Christmas break.

Anyway the scrapped au was called My Way Home Is Through You, it was about dealing with loss and grief and regret and hope and the joy of being reunited with something you thought you lost forever. Fun Ghoul was ghosted in a clap gone wrong and as I wrote in the first chapter:

Every killjoy knows they’ll be lucky to live to twenty-five, but this was still too soon. They had been through so many fights together over the past few years, even worse ones than the one they had had today- so how had this firefight been the one to take someone? How can everything be perfectly fine, everyone on their feet and all alive and then all of a sudden-

So they have to learn to deal with loss, Party Poison has to learn to live with the absence of the killjoy who was in pretty much every sense their soulmate. They ask, “How do we do this without him?” Jet Star says, “We keep running, keep loving and keep fighting.” And Poison thinks How do I do this without him?

Weeks go by before it happens for the first time. Poison sees Ghoul’s ghost. The three remaining killjoys are out on patrol when Poison hears a whisper on the wind, echoing in a tone so familiar it clenches their heart. He looked to the horizon and saw it, the shadow out in the wavering sand, the outline of a familiar figure. They run towards it but their arms close around nothing but air, the figure vanished, nothing but a mirage.

From then on the encounters started happening more often, Poison would hear that voice in their ear or head or they’d see that figure in front of them or they’d have violent dreams, reliving the moment they lost Fun Ghoul over and over again, listening to the words keep running escape his bloody lips on repeat. It’s what he said as he bled out onto the sand and the killjoys listened, running from his glassy eyes and the pursuing enemies.

The encounters gradually get more corporal, Poison swears they feel Ghouls lips on their forehead when he appears one evening, whispering killjoys never die to them in the darkness of the diner. The nightmares start blending with old memories of Poisons life, memories from when the brothers first escaped to the desert, memories from when they met Ghoul, memories of the stories Doctor D would tell the four of them, huddled around a campfire outside the radio shack.

Poison knew what they were, Hallucinations. Visions sent by their unending grief to torture them. Jet and Kobra do their best to support them, Kobra held them though each torturous night like they were little kids again but Poison knows that between their own grief and helping Poison though their screaming nightmares and heaving sobs whenever they see Ghouls ghost, it’s taking a real toll on the other two killjoys.

But one particular night, after two months of agony, one of Poison’s twisted dreams played them one of the old fireside memories and as I wrote:

There was an interesting dream. A sort of flashback to days when he was younger, when he and Kobra had only just escaped to the zones and were taken in by Jet Star and Doctor Death Defying, when they hadn't even met Fun Ghoul yet. It would be a few months more before they ran into the teenager that was drifting thorough the zones and somehow stirring up trouble wherever he went. But then the scrappy young Fun Ghoul had stumbled upon Poison and the others and wormed his way into their hearts, from that point becoming the fabulous four was inevitable.

But Doctor Death Defying would tell them all about the zones and the myths within them and on this particular night he remembered, he was telling them about the Phoenix Witch and about some of the beliefs surrounding her.

"Theres energy that flows through this static." Doctor Death spoke. "Energy that connects everything and everyone, something that will speak to you if you choose to listen and that will listen to you should you need it's guidance. The Phoenix Witch guides the souls of the departed to the afterlife but it's said she'll guide any lost soul, even a living one. If you allow her to, the Phoenix Witch will speak to you and guide your way when you need her." He told them, bathed in the light of a campfire outside his radio shack.

"We killjoys are one with the desert." He'd say and Ghoul's spector appeared, just staring at Poison and sitting by the campfire with the rest if them as if he had been in that memory.

As the dream ended and Poison woke up with a start. He didn't expect to see the hallucination still right there, now leaning over him.

Ghoul pressed a kiss to Poison's forehead and he swore he could feel it. "Killjoys never die" The entity said smoothly, then Ghoul's eyebrows furrowed and his voice became more his as he uttered his next words.

"My way home is through you."

That was the final straw for Party Poison, they needed to get out immediately. They needed air, they had to get out and drive too fast and feel the wind in their hair and fucking shoot at something, so that's what they did. They left before Jet could protest or Kobra could pester them to let him come along to 'have their back' and Poison wouldn't have been able to say no to their brother. They needed to be alone so, they left quickly.

They couldn't stop thinking about the dream, about the memory, about the ghost of Ghoul's words. He didn't mean to head in any specific direction but ended up at Doctor Death Defying's anyway.

"Fuck." He muttered, it seemed he'd have to voice his fears that he hadn't even accepted yet.

Show Pony greets him and soon enough, hes sat down with Doctor D, trying to figure out how to unravel the mess that is his mind. Doctor D asks them how they're doing and as I wrote:

Poison looked down, digging in the sand with the heel of his boot. "It's been really hard. It's been four months, it still feels like it was yesterday. I keep expecting to wake up next to him or see him walk into the diner but I never do." He confided, squinting his eyes as they grew closer to watering. His hand fell to the holster on his thigh, fingertips hovering over the handle of the old green gun he had kept.

"The others are still affected too, they don't say much but they don't smile like they used to, we're all flying half mast. The diner, it's so quiet now without him. When we'd go out a couple months ago, fighting like usual, we'd keep slipping up and having close calls, Jet's shoulder was grazed when he forgot he didn't have him to cover his flank." He explained. "So, we haven't been going out as much. Staying in and just fighting locally when we're needed."

And then they finally voice the doubts, the fears that have been stirring ever since they saw that first mirage.

"But there's- theres something else that's been going on." Poison finally said after a moment of silence had passed. "And recently I've been.. doubting it all. Wondering if- what if he isn't really dead? If he isn't then I- I left him there to die." He choked. This was the first time he had voiced any of this.

"I ran away like a coward while he bled out. Even if we barely stood a chance- what if there was a chance we could saved him? What if we left him there and- and now they have him."

Doctor D tries to let them down gently, saying he knows what it's like but that he remembers getting the news. That Fun Ghoul is gone, that he sacrificed himself so the rest of them could escape. That he couldn't survive a wound like that. But Poisons spiralling now, they stand up and start pacing.

"I know but- they got his body- who knows what technology they have. I know he's with the Witch and I- I've been seeing his fucking ghost." He said frantically.

"D, the last two months I've been having these hallucinations and these dreams and he keeps fucking telling me things, this morning I woke up and he was right in front of me and I swear I felt it when he touched me. He told me 'my way home is through you' and I just-"

He took a deep breath and stopped pacing, Doctor Death was watching him freak out with wide eyes.

"I remember the stories you'd tell us of the Witch and of the energy that connects us to eachother and the desert and all that hippie shit and I never really believed the deeper parts if it, but I know you do and I know Ghoul did more than me. You'd say how she guides lost souls and that if we need help that she could guide us too if we listen and what if what I'm seeing isn't just psychosis- what if it's actually him, connecting to me from wherever he's being held?"

He finished, sitting back down and wiping his face. "I know this is the craziest thing I've ever said, but even if it turns out it's just a case of moon madness- I don't care. I just need to know for sure."

They dont expect Doctor D to say "You're right." after the long silence that followed their tangent. He says he dies believe in the witch and he says, "If you really think what you've been seeing could actually be him reaching out, then I'll help you try to connect as well." And he asks what the hallucinations and dreams have been like. They conclude that it really does seem like Ghoul is haunting Poison and that the thing's he's saying are connected.

"If he's out there, his way home is through you, that was the truth."

Poison sniffed, quickly wiping his nose on a sleeve. "How?" He choked. "How can I bring him home?"

And then we get a scene out of ttlotfk comic, the one where Cherri's teaching the girl how to aim and hit a target, explaining that mystical energy. Except now it's Doctor D, telling Poison how to see.

"You'll start to see movement- like heatwaves in the air- auras bleeding into natural electricity. The unseen is all around us. If you were to fire a gun, the blast can ride those waves and make it a perfect shot every time. You can ride those waves too, you could see all the way to Bat City from here- and that's how you can try and connect to Fun Ghoul.

"It can be very overwhelming, but if he's out there your mind should connect to his. Just focus, see the waves, then think of him. Feel his energy surround you, his soul- connect to it and you'll be taken to it, you'll combine with it. Maybe he can show you where he is."

It was like nothing Poison had ever experienced before. The static, the airwaves, they could see it all, the energy that surrounded them.

"It's just like you said." He breathed, trying to focus on Ghoul, on the memory of him, on his voice and his laugh and his being that would always be inside of Poison even if it turned out he really was dead.

He wasn't sure if it was working but something was definitely happening and across the desert, behind buildings and barriers- a pair of dull emerald eyes snapped open.