#just half-orc/barbarian/paladin things

[carrion-whispers]

I was surprised to find the next dialogue after multiclassing into paladin looked like this:

Use your regular words

Persuade

INTIMIDATE

INTIMIDATE

INTIMIDATE

Attack first

Leave

[biscuitdragonwithastick]

CW: Drider Sex, Implied Somno, Implied noncon/rape, Forced Eggpreg, Unsuspecting, Aphrodisiacs, Breeding kink, Incubator Kink, Lactation

You thought you had scored big when you got to lay with a female drider. Their large breasts and dexterous bodies made for scandalous nights the stuff of legends. A check off the list for any adventurer looking to call themselves well versed in their sexual exploits.

You had smiled as the drider enraptured her body with yours, cock sure that you’d have much to brag about with your companions in the morning. That was until a sharp pain at your neck and darkness.

When you awoke, you found your belongings looted and a raging headache. The humiliation of have to trudge, naked, back to your adventuring party was more than enough to keep you quiet of what had actually happened. Their laughter and your embarrassment was what kept you distracted from the additional bloat to your middle. It was such a minute thing compared to everything else that had occurred.

It was only when you felt an ache within you that things took a turn. Your body began to feel hot. A growing need eclipsing all thought and your hole pulsing with arousal. You needed…something. It didn’t take long for you to strip for the nearest stranger you could find.

But that need didn’t go away. And neither did that weight in your middle.

You found yourself laying with your companions, becoming the whore of the party to be toyed with and used as they wished. You’d even rather be plugged with wooden recreations of the real thing than be left empty and dripping of the cum your body endlessly desired.

At last, on one fateful stop in a town, you find another drider. Male this time. The lust you’ve felt for months now clouds over your mind fully as you embrace the drider to fill you too. You hump and grind onto him as he hisses into your neck, but he doesn’t push you away.

Instead, claws dig into your shoulders as he whisks you away to the nearest bedroom. His body is as hot yours, almost like you’d melt into each other if you don’t fuck right now.

The sudden feeling of sheets against your body and the bottom half of a drider standing above you stalls you heat for just a moment. It’s then that you see the slimy cock extending beneath his spinnerets. You close your eyes and spread your legs furthest that you can. Your body needs no preparation for his inhuman cock to spear inside.

In one fluid motion, he thrusts inside like an animal. You barely register the growls he makes while the bedframe rattles against the walls. But you body is keening in response, something inside you is finally being fulfilled like nothing before.

He speaks to you, though you can barely understand a word. Something about how good of an incubator you’ve been, that it must’ve been so hard carrying “these” eggs with no one to fertilize them. You don’t understand. But it doesn’t matter. He thrusts once more inside and cums, filling you with enough cum to slosh as he grinds against you.

He pulls out then. You blush as he pushes your plug back inside to keep the cum from dribbling out. He gives you a kiss on the cheek and thanks you for being an excellent breeder before leaving.

You can’t make sense of it, but that ache is gone. Your normal again. Or so you think.

You return on you adventures, only to find with each passing week your middle grows. You try to excuse it away as weight gain – you had grown a newfound hunger since that drider – but it was harder to excuse the chest growth and sudden aching within.

Your party’s paladin was the one that gave you the news, but you still refused to believe it. It was you companions decision to stop and wait this out when it became clear you weren’t going to relax yourself.

You all rested at a remote inn, you pregnant belly large enough to prevent you from scootching your chair all the way in. You couldn’t wear your armor anymore. Now stuck wearing a borrowed shirt from barbarian orc and even the shirt was struggling contain your width.

When you all settled in for the night, the paladin offered some ointment for your breasts. He knew you were aching. Though tried to deny it, you didn’t stop him when he settled a hand under your shirt and began to rub. Your stubbornness had always made you refuse help. You couldn’t stop the groan of gratitude when ache turned dull, then gasped.

The dullness turned pleasurable. Looking down, you saw wet spots had formed were your nipples had been.

“Milk”, the paladin explains.

You don’t say a word as he lifts up your shirt and covers your breast with his mouth. The suction causes you to gasp and grab and his hair, unsure whether to pull him closer and push away.

The orc laughs at the sight, walking over with a leather canteen. He tugs on your other breast, filling the bottle while the paladin continues to suck.

“Might as well make use of your udders while we can.”

You blush and open your mouth to argue, but a fat palm grinds over your crotch and more milk spurts from your cumbersome breasts. “Breeder” is what the drider had called. You want to disagree with the word, but as your companions take turns fucking you, trading mouths over your sloshing breasts, all while your egg stuff belly jiggles and grows with each passing day, you find it hard to disagree.

[quirkwizard]

So recently I have been on a huge tabletop RPG kick so I thought it would be fun to talk about Class 1-A playing their own tabletop game, both the characters they'd play and how they'd be as players. For the sake of this, I will be writing in the context of Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition since that's the system myself and others would be the most familiar with.

Rikido Sato: Half Orc Life Cleric Doesn't really get the game too much. Tends to forget the rules a lot and his own abilities. Just kind of picked a class at random. Is the king of bringing snacks and the like, all of which are homemade.

Mashirao Ojiro: Wood Elf Open Hand Monk Pretty average in all respects as a player. Not too remarkable in all respects. Doesn't realized how bad the monk is until they started playing, but is too attached to the character and their concept.

Koji Koda: Firbolg Shepard Druid Is only really here to hang out with his friends. Too shy to really do any roleplay with the rest of the gang, mostly doing small moments with his animals friends. Accidently made an overpowered build.

Minoru Mineta: Dhampir Phantom Rogue Knows the rules, but is a power gamer. Uses the game more as a power fantasy to look as cool as possible at all times, even if it is dumb, though will quickly panic if anything goes slightly wrong.

Hanta Sero: Gith Horizon Walker Ranger Really interested in all the lore and history of whatever the dungeon master came up with. The kind that dungeon masters either love or dread. Is the one constantly asking question and cracking the odd joke about it.

Toru Hagakure: Changeling Arcane Trickster Rogue Super big into the roleplay of it all and is always excited. Mostly took Changeling so she'd have the excess to play as many roles as possible. Probably makes little masks to remind people who she currently is.

Yuga Aoyama: Aasimar Glory Paladin Is insanely devoted to the role of the noble paladin, much to the detriment of everyone else. Likely says the line "But it's what my character would do more then any other player. Constantly hints at a backstory that nobody is biting on.

Mezo Shoji: Hobgoblin Gloomstalker Ranger Not the biggest into roleplay, does fairly well with the actual gameplay. Plays the typically reserved ranged. Tried to tie his and Koda's backstory together to try and take some of the stress off of him in terms of roleplaying.

Kyoka Jiro: Half Elf Whispers Bard Wasn't really sure about all of this before play and went with a bard because she liked the idea of playing music. It was a rocky start, but quickly got into it and started having fun. Will make custom songs and playlists for the party, as well ambient tracks and battle music.

Denki Kaminari: Air Genesi Storm Sorcerer Wanted to try it out because it was popular. Went with something he thought was cool and did not expect it to be so complicated. Needs to be constantly handed the book and remined of the rules in order to make sure he gets it. The amount of math hurts his head. Eijiro Kirishima: Goliath Giant Barbarian Like Denki, wanted to get into because it was popular. Bakugou helped a lot with building the character. Has a lot of fun smashing stuff. Plays his role pretty well, even if his character doesn't go beyond the nice brute whose name is very close to Kirishima's own.

Mina Ashido: Satyr Glamour Bard One of the students the most into the roleplaying. Is very light hearted and goofy about the whole thing. Can play a lot in bard stereotypes because she thinks it's funny. Another instigator, though mostly from her getting too into character at the worst of times. Fumikage Tokoyami: Tiefling Fiend Warlock Has been playing the game the longest and super familiar with all of it. Always makes characters he thinks are "cool", which means are super gothic and depress, both in class and in race. Does occasionally have Dark Shadow dress up and roleplay as his patron. Ochako Uraraka: Fairy Zealot Barbarian Ochako just wants to smash stuff. She has a lot of fun rolling dice and doing cool stuff with her friends, both good and bad. Likes playing the typically pixie before going nuts. Can be an instigator, but tends to backtrack when she realizes just how badly it goes wrong. Tsuyu Asui: Halfling Moon Druid Like Koda, is mostly here to have fun with friends. Often plays mediator both in and out of character. Does a good job with roleplaying thanks to how much she had to play pretend with her simplies. Always causes a riot whenever she becomes a dinosaur. Shoto Todoroki: Hill Dwarf Fighter Champion One of the worst players both in game and in roleplay. Played a character Izuku basically made for him. Is somehow still one of the best because he is constantly getting amazing rolls at the most critical moments, much to the frustration of Bakugou.

Katsuki Bakugo: Custom Lineage Chronurgy Wizard Powergamer, no question. He knows the rules back and forth to make the most broken build possible. Acts like D&D is a game you can win, even when it comes to roleplaying. Not a full on murder hobo, but by far the biggest instigator in the group.

Tenya Iida: Warforged Devotion Paladin Very much devoted to the rules, both in and out of the game. Gets confused when people say that he's doing a good job at playing a robot. Collects a lot of dice. One of the best Dungeon Masters of any of the students, though can be rather controlling at times. Momo Yaoyorozu: High Elf Forge Cleric A really good player with the rules though can be pretty awkward with the roleplay with how much she tries to get into it. One of the best DMs in the class. Makes custom miniatures for everyone in the party. Puts a lot of money to make the ultimate game room. Izuku Midoriya: Variant Human Bladesinging Wizard The perfect player. Knows the roles, but focuses more on making characters. Takes the most notes, pay attention, and makes sure everyone is having fun and feels included. Likely gets roped into the role of dungeon master more then anyone else because of these reasons.

[ambitionsart]

So... Deadlands but make it a Guild?

Putting it under read more because there's a lot.

So given the Deadlands characters have very little backstory we are headcannoning a lot here. Bare with me.

Edie, I imagine as a rouge (was torn with bard), who uses her sweet charms to get the information she needs. Picks up shifts in taverns in exchange for a roof for a few days.

Garnet is just Prudance 2.0. Since we don't know much of backstory, I can imagine her being a reserved magic user who does not talk about where her magic comes from, because lets be honest a less than savoury patron really doesn't go down well. (Also the idea of her having like a deck of many things, or where her patron picks the cards delt to deal damage would be fun)

Silas, I'm sorry this man is a barbarian. There is no other thing he could be, it's the unfiltered rage. Though I liked the idea of him duel wielding blades like his pistols. Also having miss matched armour to reflect he used to be someone important, the hints of his 'law man' image.

Nate, Okay so. Nate I struggled with. I'm thinking a paladin of some kind? Also I don't know how to translate, was at one point dead and now lives on alcohol and jerky, other than the common stereotype of Dwarves. So. Yeah. Sorry Nate. Though I do imagine him keeping his shirt as if it was something his late wife embroiderd for him and now it's too sentimental to get rid of so it's got patches holding it together.

Delacy, the idea of this relatively human party having a child half orc running around with them felt apt but also the level of humor of oxventure. Also Delacy being an unusually strong child also very good. I can imagine him being a fighter or some combat specific class.

If anyone has any better ideas, hit me up I'm not 100% on all of these, so please add your own to them.

[gloomwitchwrites]

I know you're a huge fan of DnD. So, I need to know, if 141 also plays DnD, what are they playing as?

Anon! I know who you are! Expect me in your inbox shortly to beef with you about going anon on me!!! (if it's not who I think it is this will be absolutely embarrassing but fuck it.)

Yes, I love Dungeons & Dragons. I've been a DM twice, and I've participated as a player. Currently DMing a campaign now. So, combining Dungeons & Dragons w/ Task Force 141 is SENDING ME!

Can you imagine the four them sitting around a table to play a TTRPG? I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it. Would Laswell be the DM? I feel like she would be.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick Class: Paladin Race: Human or Orc Sacred Oath: Oath of Glory Alignment: Lawful Good

Gaz has a solid sense of justice. He’s quick to vocalize when he doesn’t think something is fair or when he believes something isn’t right. He’s also a team player and wants what’s best for everyone. He also wants to get the job done. Kyle is the support of the party. He’s gonna be smashing heads as much as he’s using Healing Hands on Soap & Ghost for also smashing heads.

John Price Class: Fighter Race: Human Martial Archetype: Battle Master Alignment: Lawful Neutral

I love Price. You love Price. We all love Price. But let’s be honest here…when it comes to Dungeons & Dragons, Price is a Basic Bitch™. He doesn’t know the rules, is overwhelmed by all the options, and Price just wants a character handed to him because he simply doesn’t want to deal with it. He is being dragged to the session by people who loves it and just want him to have fun.

John “Soap” MacTavish Class: Barbarian Race: Minotaur Primal Path: Path of the Berserker Alignment: Chaotic Good

Soap loves chaos and he loves to fuck shit up. He’s the demolitions expert. If he’s not blowing something up, he wants to be sent in, coach. A team player who is a tank in-game and in real life. Soap wants to be the biggest brute. The tank of the party. Barbarian’s get to Rage, and you know that appeals to Soap.

Simon “Ghost” Riley Class: Blood Hunter Race: Half-Drow Blood Hunter Order: Order of the Lycan Alignment: Lawful Good

Blood Hunters are monsters who fight monsters. They are often feared, ostracized, and misunderstood. They adhere to a strict code of discipline so they don’t succumb to their Hemocraft while fighting the forces of evil. Simon is a man that sticks to a strict discipline. He is feared and misunderstood by those that don’t know him. Plus, he hates talking. He likes to keep things to a bare minimum. Blood Hunters are not considered charismatic until the rest of the party gets to know them.

I could also see… Gaz: as a Ranger, Monk (Way of Kensei Only), or Cleric Soap: as an Artificer (Artillerist Only), Bard, or Paladin Price: as a Cleric (War Domain Only), Barbarian, or Paladin Ghost: as a Rogue, Ranger, or Barbarian (Path of the Beast Only)

[gunpowderraven]

critical role: by someone that hasn’t seen any of it

hi so we recently got into dimension 20 and our friends have been tugging us towards critical role for a very long time at this point but we still haven’t watched any of it nor do we know all that much about anything that actually happens in it. however we do intend to actually start watching soon so we decided it was the perfect opportunity to make one of those ‘all the things i know about this thing i haven’t watched’ posts, show it to our critrole friends, and then actually get into critrole and be able to look back and laugh about it later

also the images are all sourced via friend so this is all one hundred percent no wiki no google knowledge, just from tumblr and discord convos and stuff. and some cast compilation videos that were very funny

update: we are now watching cr3! liveblog tag for silly lb -> #cr3 lb

vox machina

from left to right:

- i have literally no idea who the two halflings are. i’ve never seen them before in my life. what. uh. paladin and bard? im literally just guessing. who plays these characters. what

- grog? grug? this is travis’ pc maybe. also hypothesizing hes a half-orc barbarian or something similar? ive seen like one clip of him

- percival frederick von something something de rolo i think there’s a iii in his name as well, his name is long and very german but he does not have a german accent. or a french one. at separate times i have thought this character was german and french and then i heard him talk and was like. What. anyway i know he’s taliesin’s pc and he invented guns and is also possessed sometimes by big bird demon, and he has a nifty plague doctor mask. also tragic backstory. his entire family is dead i think. no mercy percy! he has a thing with vex? also his hair did a wilbur. the gay people on tumblr love this twink. i also think i love this twink

- vax’ildan! i think i may have actually spelled that right! half-elf? vex is his twin? and he’s... liam’s pc i think. yeah that’s it. he gives me angsty boy energy tho. not as much as percy but this boy has seen some shit. also he might be a rogue or a ranger who even knows. he looks like gay jon snow

- vex’ahlia which i definitely didn’t spell right. i think the next one is marisha’s pc so this one is... uh... laura? i think she’s the ranger actually. i think she has a bear. not like a gay bear like an actual animal bear. though it could be gay too i dunno. she has a think with percy. or everyone wants her to have a thing with percy. i genuinely can’t tell. anyway get that traumatized twink girl

- keyleth... marisha’s pc. some kind of spellcaster? maybe sorcerer? wild magic? she Also has a thing with percy maybe. or vex. or both. who even knows. everyone wants that twink. one time she threw herself off a cliff and turned into a goldfish and almost died and it was hilarious

anything else i know about this:

- there are evil bitches called the briarwoods and they might be vampires

- this is the one that got a tv show and might have also been the first critrole campaign idek

- d. ragons? chromia something. dragons. i hope i haven’t been lied to about the dragons. i hope there are actually dragons in this. there’s like a chromium something with dragon symbols tho

mighty nein

from left to right:

- mollymauk! ...tealeaf? another taliesin pc. the trans people like this one. i don’t know what their pronouns are. but theyre slaying every time i see them at any time. no idea what class but maybe a spellcaster?

- ...beau? i know her exclusively through lesbian ship art so i know her name is beau something bc that’s the ship names but i don’t know if that’s short for something. monk? no clue. also no clue who plays her either. maybe marisha?

- i have seen this character but i do not know their name. or anything else about them

- oh this is the sad wizard boy caleb widogast. he’s gay for essek thelyss (or something. i didnt spell that right) who is a npc i think. yeah. sad wizard. every time i see him he’s just being a wizard and sad. the gays love him too but he’s more of a distraught otter than a sad twink. maybe he and percy should start a club tho. also i think he’s played by liam

- i KNOW this character’s name i think it starts with s but i can’t remember for the life of me. scriv? scrat? no thats the rat from ice age. possibly a menace? i think im getting them mixed up with someone else. they look cool as hell though

- jester!! laura pc i think perhaps. i want to get drunk with her and tell her about all of my problems. yeah. i dont know anything about her actually. beaujester exists tho i know that

- YASHA. CRUSH ME HOLY FUCK. sorry im normal ? her voice makes me a little crazy insane. ive seen a few clips of her. mostly gay shit with beau. uh she’s played by ashley and she could kick my ass very easily

oh my god there’s another photo

- i think there’s only one character different here and it’s caduceus clay fun fact i hated this mfer for really dumb shitty personal reasons for a while before deciding it was very stupid to blame a fictional character for interpersonal drama and now im fine with him. wait does mollymauk die or something. wait a second. no, wait, fuck—

- ALSO WHO’S THAT FUCKER IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST NOTICED THAT

anything else i know about this:

- yeah i got nothing. no idea about the lore or the plot or anything bc i pretty much exclusively see gay ship art of these pcs. love wins i support it

bells hells

from left to right, one more time:

- look my brain is just saying gertrude from dungeons & drag queens but obviously that’s incorrect. so i don’t know who this is

- or this! but she looks very pretty and i love the little... monkey... bird? pls tell me these two characters have some kind of wild opposites dynamic they look like they do

- LITTLE ROBOT GUY . fcg? fgc? i think it was the first one. uh. liam pc? ?????? i think he gets bitches

- orym...? i know one of these characters is named orym. and i think it’s this one. i also see gay fanart of him

- i don’t know who the guy underneath him is

- or the lady with the purple hair god i really don’t know shit about this campaign sorry

- ashton greymoore, taliesin pc, my friend luna loves this guy, he’s. rocks? he’s rocks. groovy.

- someone in this campaign is named like dorian or something and im guessing its this one bc idk who they are either

anything else i know about this:

- flying.......... ship?

- this is the ongoing one i think

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i can’t wait to look back at this in a few months and laugh my ass off. hope u enjoyed this mess

[the-whole-shebang]

BOTW Champion Headcannons: Dungeons and Dragons Edition

Prepare for the chaos.

Characters:

Link was the Dungeon Master and the one who introduced the Champions to the game. He's been waiting for this moment.

Zelda played a half-elf druid. The second Link mentioned turning into animals she was all in.

Mipha played a fairy cleric. Link was worried she wouldn't have fun because she's always a healer, but she was just really excited about the cleric abilities.

Urbosa chose a fire genasi barbarian with a massive double-blades battle axe. She's never been more hype for anything in her life.

Daruk played an orc paladin. He didn't really understand what was going on but he knew Link was really excited about the game so he did his best.

Revali played an aarakocra ranger. When Zelda pointed out that he was basically playing himself he responded with, "Exactly."

Riju picked a kobold rouge and made a point to point out that her character was chaotic neutral.

Teba was a harengon monk and dumped all his stat points into dexterity.

Yunobo played a minotaur artificer with the most heartbreaking soul crushing backstory ever.

And finally, Sidon chose to play a satyr bard for no other reason than it sounded fun.

The Shenanigans:

Link spent weeks planning, plotting, worldbuilding, and hyperfocusing on this fiction world and campaign. He definitely lost sleep over it.

Zelda was the only one who actually tried to stay with plot. However, she still took every opportunity avaliable to abuse her wild shape ability.

Mipha got incredibly attached to every single NPC they met and begged the others to let them come with them.

Urbosa's play style consisted of two things: A. Antagonizing as many creatures, enemies, and NPC's as possible and B. Bullying Revali.

Because Daruk knew how hard Link had worked, he stopped to investigate anything and everything, much to Link's delight. He was also definitely the player who spent 30 minutes trying to get through a door when all he had to do was open it.

Revali insisted that his character was super angsty and hated the rest of the party, but they all completely disregarded it. He also spent most of his time trying to avoid Urbosa's antics.

Riju was the most chaotic and unhinged of the party, and she totally tried to fight the BBEG at like level 4.

Teba really tried to strategize and find a way to defeat every enemy in the most efficient way possible, but his efforts were sadly in vain. Most sessions ended with him pinching the bridge of his beak in disappointment.

Yunobo obsessed over the story and lore and took detailed notes for the whole campaign.

Sidon abused his charisma stats to befriend everybody and everything. He probably ended up defeating the BBEG with a therapy session.

[zeggyzone]

d&d / fantasy valorant

has been on my brain. so here’s my little masterlist on what i think everyone would be.

DISCLAIMER

i’ve played d&d like three times so don’t expect all of these to be accurate/they’re my opinion :(

astra // astral elf monk

hey, i just think it makes sense. monks can deal damage and since astra derives her power from the astral guardians, it makes sense, no?

plus, i think she’d be really badass with astral elf genes…

breach // centaur barbarian

WALK WITH ME HERE. just listen to me. A CENTAUR. HE’S SO CENTAUR.

he’s very tanky and i think it very much fits his whole vibe— and if you think he’s annoying with two legs, he’s gonna be ten times more annoying with four. can totally see him absolutely destroying someone by bucking his back legs into someone.

brimstone // dwarf paladin

honor is huge for dwarves and i really want to play that in with brimstone. i want to say that kingdom could’ve been this crazy god thing but maybe i could look into that later. all i know is that he is a paladin with a heart of gold.

in a little doodle i did, i made him a tavernkeeper… so maybe he’s an ex-paladin now-turned a humble tavernkeep.

chamber // high elf artificer

i wanted to make him a ranger, but an artificer makes me giggle. probably because one of my d&d characters is an artificer and was loosely based on chamber. (she’s a rich tiefling seamstress of many talents, if you even care.) also you can imagine chamber as a tiefling too, but, i think high elf works better.

deffo still a weapons designer, maybe even a blacksmith. probably works closely with magic users to make custom weaponry to channel their mana in.

clove // fairy bard

look, as much as i’d LOVE to make clove an immortal god watching over the whole fantasy world, i just HAVE to include them as a fairy who CONTINUOUSLY breaks the 4th wall. it’s so funny.

clove would probably have DEADPOOL level fourth wall breaks, and constantly make jokes and references of ‘the real world’ and how they’ve ‘seen all of you before.’

cypher // tiefling wizard

WALK WITH ME HERE. he had his horns ripped off. WALK WITH ME.

he hides his identity partially because iirc tieflings aren’t exactly … liked by the public eye? i also like to think he uses his wizardry to fuel his whole information broker schtick. he uses arcane eye and everyone hates him for it.

deadlock // snow elf beast hunter

i know that beast hunters aren’t exactly a CLASS but come on. lets be honest with ourselves.

deadlock who lost her team to a rabid mythical beast, now dedicating herself to hunting them down and neutralizing them, one bounty at a time. i like to think that she doesn’t necessarily kill them if they can be saved, or at least put them down painlessly. otherwise, she aims for the fuckin’ throat.

fade // half-elf sorcerer

walk with me here. fade is a MAN in the universe OKAY walk with me. i made a hc video on tiktok where i made fade a half-elf sorcerer that is haunted by the voices in his spellbook. his character name is demir, and upon further research, i have found out that sorcerers CANNOT use spellbooks. (stupid, i know.) so work with that as you will.

i think she works for nightmare to feed it in return to find information on her father. she's a bounty hunter, but ONLY for nightmares and for information. you feel me?

gekko // tall-man druid

i think this one’s a given.

i’m practically making him beast boy, BUT IDGAF!!!! he has a connection with his buddies and often shifts as needed. he likes turning into a dog and cuddling. trust. his character name is oetam. yes, it's mateo backwards.

harbor // warforged artificer

this one is kind of me fucking around. as much as i wanted to make him a water based race, he was chosen to hold the artifact.

i think he was made by realm to be their historian and antiquities expert, but as soon as he was the chosen one, was shut out, just like in the cinematic.

iso // half-orc fighter

i know i could've put iso as a tiefling or something like that but i think him as a half-orc is cooler. he's tall, bulky, and TANKY.

i originally wanted him to be a paladin, because he could change oaths from hourglass to the protocol through a huge quest in sparing omen... that whole thing, but i think a fighter works better.

jett // air genasi rogue

let's be so fucking for real JETT WILL BE PUT ON SOME ROGUE SHIT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. I WILL FORCE FEED IT TO YOU WITH A GOLDEN SPOON.

if omega earth isn't canonical in the d&d world (which i highly doubt) she has an evil twin that does shit on her name, henceforth, she has to hide. otherwise, same backstory.

kay/o // warforged fighter

HE. IS. WARFORGED. [actively shoving food down your throat]

very much strikes me as a robot learning how to be normal. definitely works along brimstone-- he got a job at the tavern and helps him sort out bounties and act as security. he's also totally a bodyguard for money.

killjoy // tiefling artificer

she's so tiefling u can't say anything. she's a PINK tiefling thank you very much. definitely a party girl, too!

i think she's the same idea as chamber, but she's paid by brimstone! i wanna think he took her in as his protégé but atp he might as well be hers. initially he wanted her to help with kay/o, but she just ended up control-freaking everywhere and upgrading everything in sight. she has matching names with oetam. it's aralk.

neon // wood elf ranger

neon is a speedster, so it makes sense to give her one of the fastest races in d&d (based on walking distance, at least). i wanna think she's a knight... stay with me here.

ex-k-sec makes sense for her to be a knight? so maybe she just has the title, but kind of just does contract work? also! the whole lightning thing... mayhaps cursed? or maybe just a lightning god didn't want her. choose which one you like out of those two.

omen // tall man-tiefling rogue

hear me out; he used to be a tall man, but after the whole 'incident' was turned into a tiefling. LISTEN BRO IT MAKES SENSE.

he works as a merc, sporting a cloak to shield his 'hideous' self. he frequents brimstone's tavern for jobs, and always emerges from the shadows instead of using the door. he's become accustomed to showing up after closing with the bounty, and in return, spooks everyone working there. killjoy had to hit her fantasy equivalent of an inhaler after a few spooks.

phoenix // dragonborn bard

[shoveling food down your throat] that is a fucking dragonborn if i ever did fucking see one.

and, he's a bard because he was in theatre school, duh. i like to think phoenix is a very popular entertainer but also uses his talents for other jobs on the side. otherwise... maybe he's a knight! i don't know. i like the performer idea better.

raze // dwarf alchemist

she was also in the d&d video! her name is razinho ('little raze' haha). probably a merc with a very, err, explosive personality. wandered in the tavern a lot and hit it off with aralk.

if i had to assign her a class, maybe a fighter or a barbarian.

reyna // vampire warlock

listen. i want to say that the vampire side of her is empress. she has to devour souls (or blood!) to keep empress happy. you see where i'm going here? [fade bulletin board spray]

she's tied to empress so long as lucia is sick. gekko and her met after she found him injured in dog form... guys please i love them so much.

sage // high elf cleric

her healing is a gift. come on bro. she's as cleric as it can get. while i think she also derives power from the earth (she's in fact a geomancer) i think the majority of her mana comes from the higher power that gifted her.

i want to think she also works as a ... well, sage. she does so back in shaanxi. otherwise, she's found at brimstone's tavern providing her healing. sometimes she goes into dungeons and does free revivals.

skye // dryad druid

[shoveling food down your throat] dryad skye [more food] druid skye. also isn't it crazy how THAT is the only skye picture we have. rest in peace.

i wanna think that her pack is a bunch of animal-shaped plants that she helped escape a garden. i think that's really funny. 10+ points if it's a garden belonging to kingdom.

sova // avian (owl) scout

a former knight in charge of reconnaissance. he left after a tragic accident.

he lives with his babushka and takes care of her-- sometimes he takes up bounties for extra cash, and brimstone is trying to work his way into sova's good side-- he could really use a scout.

viper // naga shifter alchemist

probably used to be a cleric but renounced her belief-- even better, after doing what she did to omen, she lost her power and took it as a sign to take up researching death.

yes, she is a naga. it makes so much sense, nobody talk to me. her and brimstone are old friends and she frequents the bar also because of omen. the reason he was sent to kill her should stay the same i think.

yoru // changeling rogue

last one! he was also in the hc video. except he was a fighter. his name is kurayami. no, not kuronami. he's a runaway samurai and hella edgy. oetam bullies him. demir, too.

changelings can impersonate people they've already seen, so maybe yoru uses paintings of his ancestors to decide on his identity. he has the mask still, too! he uses it when he's on his rogue shit.

thanks for reading! would love to hear what you guys think about these!

twitter | tiktok | archiveofourown

[sotwk]

Hi Naneth! Do you know and/or play D&D? So...I've recently started playing it and got addicted to the game (surprisingly for someone who's always been a bookworm than a gamer hehe), and now I can't help but be curious what would the Thranduillions (maybe bonus Thranduil and his wife?) be like as D&D characters (or what kind of characters would they create and play as during D&D sessions)? Ooooh, now I wonder what a Thranduillion D&D session would look like XD!

Omg it's amazing that you asked me this question, because literally just this morning I was chatting with my sister about her starting to play tabletop D&D with her old college buddies! I said to her, "Man I'm jealous and I wish I could join in, but I would just be so lost and confused and annoying because I'll need everything explained to me multiple times." XD My sister is also trying to get me to play BG3, and although it's really, really tempting, I'm afraid even venturing into that would take up what little free time I have left!

Anyway, going into your question that I LOVE so much, about what the Thranduilions would be like if they had a D&D session. Using my limited knowledge of the actual gameplay, it would go something like this:

The Royal House of Greenwood Plays Dungeons & Dragons

Characters Chosen

Everyone in the family prefers to play Elves but sometimes may choose a Half-Elf, Human, Dwarf, or Halfling. Legolas may dare to try controversial classes (i.e. dragonborn, half-orc), but only when their parents aren't playing.

Mirion: Barbarian. Values Strength.

Turhir: Paladin. Values Constitution.

Arvellas: Wizard. Values Wisdom.

Gelir: Ranger. Values Dexterity.

Legolas: Druid. Values Wisdom.

Thranduil: Rogue. Values Dexterity.

Maereth: Bard. Values Charisma.

How They Would Play

The family likes to run the campaign as a group that quests together, rather than individuals, so they work together as a team.

Arvellas is the Dungeon Master mostly because he wrote the guide books and has by far the most organized brain among the brothers. He's also the calmest, most patient, and can keep his brothers in line in case things descend into chaos.

Legolas was the ringleader who initiated the idea to start/play this game in the first place. He begged and helped Arvellas to create the game books, with Arvellas wrangling Legolas's wild enthusiasm and all-over-the-place ideas into brilliant manuals. Legolas also crafted the dice, miniatures, and game boards himself, and he always has the most elaborately detailed character sheets.

Mirion is not much for this sort of game but is absolutely happy to humor Legolas and spend time with his family. Barely knows what is going on and essentially just follows what Legolas tells him he "has" to do. His character is often first to get injured or in trouble, but he laughs it off. Is eating an unholy amount of snacks the entire time.

Turhir is the tactical genius who thinks of creative ways to solve problems and defeat opponents. Mostly does his thing to keep the quest going and everyone alive, but also gives advice regarding combat tactics when asked. Is quietly the MVP of the campaign.

Gelir is just really annoyed by the concept of dice controlling his fate and blames lousy dice rolls a lot. Protests and argues against the "logic" of difficulty checks. Heckles any of his brothers who "mess up" (in his opinion). Chooses courses of action based on what's flashiest instead of what's wise. (He's much more strategic in real life, but this is a GAME. Plus he likes to mess with Legolas.)

Thranduil picks up on the game super quickly despite having the least experience. Frequently leaves the table to attend to crown business (or grab more wine). Assigns Turhir to play for him in his absence because they have the same mindset. Drinks a crazy amount of wine during the course of the game (it helps him relax) but still does not appear drunk, nor is his gameplay affected.

Maereth never gets into trouble (in the game) because literally everyone is half-focused on protecting her. Eventually she gently removes herself from the game so they can play for real without having to consider her. Helped Legolas make the dice, miniatures, and game boards.

I hope you (and all D&D/BG3 readers) enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for this very fun Ask! <3

For more SotWK AU headcanons: SotWK HC Masterlist

Elves HC Tag List: @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @achromaticerebus @acornsandoaktrees @aduialel @asianbutnotjapanese @auttumnsayshi @blueberryrock @conversacomsmaug @elan-ho-detto-elan-15 @entishramblings @glassgulls @heilith @heranintomyknife23times @ladyweaslette @laneynoir @lathalea @quickslvxrr @spacecluster @stormchaser819 @talkdifferently6 @tamryniel @tamurilofrivendell @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras

Special Moots who are BG3 fans and might be interested tag: @ass-deep-in-demons @kylobith @tolkien-fantasy @creativity-of-death @missiemoosie (I probably missed some.)

Other useful links:

Introduction to SotWK

Fanfiction Masterlist

Fanfiction Request Guidelines

[sawtastic-sideblog]

DnD night at the Kramer residence:

Jill: provides snacks and ambiant music, helps make the props and costumes, acts like she's not listening but if secretly taking notes as she does embroidery or something idk, secretly has a high elf druid character called Aria

John: DM, has these elaborate plots planned out for the campaign, tries to be annoyed when things go off the rails, can't because it's actually funny, "it's a team building, strategy game. Work together or perish in the bog of perpetual sadness," if he actually plays he's a tortle cleric called Gideon

Lawrence: secretly stoked that he gets to play again, played as a kid but mom put a stop because its witchcraft and the devil will consume his soul, played in secret, bro is an orc paladin called Sedgewick, he heals people irl and in game, once a doctor always a doctor

Mark: lizardfolk barbarian called Marco, he's very creative, he fights anything he comes into contact with, literally no stopping him when he gets angry, once punched a tree over and killed Amanda's first character, she still hasn't forgive him

Amanda: half elf bard called Lorna, she constantly makes fun of and pranks Marco, has a satchel full of flowers, once helped everyone escape a dungeon by singing lullabys to the guards

Adam: fairy warlock called Thomas, constantly casts fireball, in a great amount of debt to a powerful wizard for a house fire he certainly has no idea how it started don't ask him, on the run from said wizard

Peter: bugbear rogue called Thornax, once has a love spell cast on him by a fey and now everyone calls him Horny Thorny, high stealth level, once killed a high priestess while she was giving a speech to her cult

Logan: sea elf paladin called Ronin, excellent mimic, aided Strahm in his quest to end the high priestess by continuing to address her people while dressed in her robes, married a homeless Tabaxi begger man and runs a nice little farm and bed and breakfast on the banks of a river, swims daily, kinda a siren

William: has had many characters, he doesn't really understand how to play but he's happy to be included, all of his characters die, he has notoriously bad luck with rolls, longest character run was 3 sessions, normally dies early in sessions so he just play npcs and takes half ass notes

Billy: the God of the game, watches from his tower (China cabinet), Jill dresses him up, greatly worshipped throughout the land

[talenlee]

3e: Monk Attacks

Have you ever encountered something where a system is evident but the language for discussing it isn’t?

Cast your mind back to the days of Dungeons & Dragons 3rd edition. No, not 3.5, the one that forms the basis for Pathfinder that people generally claim is ‘the good one’ before 4th edition (the best edition) came along. 3rd edition, the edition before 3.5, which is what it definitely was, was notable for being ‘the things people like about 3.5 D&D, but all quite a bit more shit.’

Know what was really bad in 3rd edition? Well, a lot of things, including Paladins, Rangers, Fighters, Barbarians, Bards, Half-Orcs, Half-Elves, Halflings and all but two melee weapons, but, in particular for this conversation, one class that was quite bad was the monk.

I won’t relitigate the whole story of how 3rd edition was a bad place to be a person whose primary job was punching things in the face. If you want to know more about that, I’ve written about it elsewhere, but just as an example, haste was a really stupidly powerful spell that made every melee character struggle to keep up. But if we cut off the top of the graph where all the spellcasters that are good (like the wizard, druid, and cleric) live, and focus just on the 3.0 Loser Brigade that do melee damage, even then in that space, the monk had some problems.

The way the monk worked is that the monk, limiting itself to melee attacks made with its fist or its collection of ‘exotic’ monk weapons, would get to attack more often, at lower accuracy. At level 1, instead of swinging a 2d6 greatsword, you could make two 1d6 attacks at -2, for… well, less likely to deal 2d6. But okay, you may think, the trade-off isn’t good at level 1, but what if the monk gets better, faster, than the fighter does?

Well, let’s assume that’s the case, and before we move on to talk about how badly that is implemented, that idea is a really bad one for the actual game. If a level 1 wizard, level 1 fighter, and level 1 monk all approach roughly equal threats knowing that some of them are just plain out worse at dealing with things, then you’ve got a balance problem. Being unfairly bad at level 1 doesn’t make being unfairly strong at level 16 okay, and vice versa. The notion that power ‘scales up’ in this non-linear way is one of the poisons 3e has had in it, because you run into a problem so obvious that it’s got a TVtropes page.

No I’m not going to link to it.

But here’s where things get really weird, when we talk about iterative attacks. Except I’m not sure the game rules call them ‘iterative’ – that’s game language that cropped up for sad dorks online. The way the rules worked is that you have a stat, universal for all characters, called a base attack bonus. When your base attack bonus passed a 5 threshold, you got another attack at -5, at the end, if you ever did a full attack. That means when your base attack bonus was 6, you could make two attacks, one at +6, one at +1.

Monks got a different version of this; they got to iterate their attacks when their Base Attack Bonus crossed the number 4. Since they got the medium Base Attack Bonus (which improves at a rate of three points every four levels), that meant that they got their second attack at level 6, just like a fighter, their third at level 10, one level before the fighter, their fourth at level 14, two levels before the fighter, and their fifth at level 18. Fighters never got a fifth attack (I know, I know, you in the back, you’re very clever, leave it for now). At level 18, the monk could be attacking for 6d20, whenever they make a full attack, with their flurry, and that sounds pretty cool!

And we’re going to set aside the gap between magical powers and weapon enchantments and things like bleeding weapons that monks can’t use and all that jazz, but the important thing here is this is all due to the way that the monk adds its base attack bonus. The rules, once you know that iterative attacks work by adding base attack bonus, are evident. Monks get their extra attacks at +4, so, hey, maybe you could push the monk to get more attacks, faster, if you mix monk levels with fighter levels? What does that do?

It does nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, there were some vague attempts to work on it – there was in the 3e book Sword and Fist, where a monk prestige class said some things about adding and it counting, and monk levels count, but the whole thing was written in a very confusing way. And like, the rules didn’t have a good formal way to say: Monks gain extra attacks for every 4 points of base attack bonus. Or A monk’s unarmed attack iterates at +4.

It was a weird thing where the game rules clearly had this complex rules operation, but also the game had no in-language way to refer to it. Like, the game doesn’t refer to as ‘points of base attack bonus’ or even ‘when your base attack bonus exceeds.’ It’s just something the game only represented on tables. And that means that it was very easy to work out how the rules worked, but the game rules then had a very hard time explaining how the rules worked to players. The way it wound up wording things for Monk Prestige Class is that monk prestige class levels stacked with monk class levels for determining bonus attacks, but not actually base attack bonus. So you had to always make sure you were taking levels in 4s, which was awkward and untidy.

Monks were helped quite a bit in the next edition, 3.5, where they had a smoother damage curve and more abilities and they were just a little bit less hooped by damage resistance and the like in general. It was a much needed improvement necessary to keep Monks as about as shitty as Barbarians and Fighters, and well away from being actually strong.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[cod-dump]

After rewatching the dnd movie, I can't stress enough how much I need the 141 to play it. To everyone's suprise, soap is the DM. Price plays a oathbreaker paladin with a few levels in warlock and it turns out he is a total nerd. Nobody knows why they are suprised.

I feel like Soap would be a chaotic DM, has the most intense storylines, well thought out NPCs, detailed locations- There is no fucking around in his DnD sessions, he has a story he needs everyone to play out. Laswell would probably be a good DM, too, and I know she has some damn good campaigns hidden up her sleeves.

What I think their races and classes would be:

Nik as a Dragonborn barbarian: Sometimes roleplays but switches to being his usual self because he forgets to roleplay. His character is just named Nik as well. He's happy to be here.

Soap as a human eloquence bard or artillerist artificer: Becomes deranged quickly into the game (either as bard or artificer it doesn't matter). As a bard he flirts with everyone. Other players, NPCs, the enemy- No one is safe. Is here to cause mayhem, that is number one priority next to trying to seduce everyone/thing.

Ghost as a Shadar-kai rouge: Man gets deep into roleplay, just embodies his character. Ghost is not there anymore, he's Cronothos the Fallen and he will have his vengeance!

Gaz as a Elf paladin: Talks in a 'fancy' accent the entire time, even when not roleplaying. Has made out with Alejandro for a bit in the game but now they're having their characters romance each other. Has a in game beef with Price.

Price as a Fire Genasi oathbreaker/or Oath of the Watchers paladin: Would be an excellent DM but he would rather play. Has all his shit together and has a notebook with his character's story, skills, strength and weaknesses- Man is prepared. Has a romance going on with Rudy and has a whole page in his notebook dedicated to pick up lines and pet names that flow with their campaign.

Alejandro as a Leonin paladin: Is called 'furry' throughout the campaign by Valeria and Graves, Ghost sometimes joining in. Is romancing Gaz, is trying to see if he can kill Valeria, is also narrowly avoiding getting punched by Ghost. Has in game beef with Price.

Rudy as a human war cleric: Trying not to lose his shit because everyone won't stop goofing around. He later, also, starts goofing around. Like how Alejandro and Gaz have a romance going on, Rudy has a romance going on with Price. They're competing to be the most dramatic romance with Alejandro and Gaz.

Valeria as a Tiefling assassin rouge: Her and Ghost get up to mischief. Loves to fuck over Alejandro at every given opportunity and has made it where her character hates Alejandro's.

Graves as a Half-Elf warlock: Actually gets really into roleplay and has a really thought out backstory for his character. Actively trying to romance one of the NPCs (a orc shopkeeper) and has threatened to fight Soap for her hand.

Laswell as a human Circle of Stars druid: Her and Graves actually getting really along while playing which is a shock to everyone. Supports Graves' romance with the orc shopkeeper and is his wingman.

[cloud-monki]

Unsorted list of funny dnd things

Barbarians and orcs can refuse to die.

Certain barbarians take half damage from everything except being insulted.

Berserker barbarians cannot be charmed nor frighten because their brains don’t work well.

Standing near a paladin makes it more probable that you don’t brainwashed.

If you wants to snap someone out of hypnosis you shouldn’t hit them, you should hit the person hypnotizing them.

There’s monk subclass that basically is only there to allow you to do kamehameha.

All Clerics can raise the dead.

Wizards don’t know how to cast spells while in leather armor

1/2 of the base full spellcasters use the rizz stat for magic.

Because of a misunderstanding from a popular voice actor and dnd streamer, a race a became more cow like.

There’s a subclass for the monk class called “Drunken Master”, which is funny in it of itself, but it’s basically a person pretending to be drunk so people underestimate them and then kick them in the balls.

Goblins have an ability called fury of the small, which basically means that if you attack a creature larger than you every once in a while you deal more damage.

Kobolds used to have an ability called cower, grovel and beg.

There’s a subclass that makes you surround yourself with magical bees.

Barbarians get mad at surprises

Halfling are only alive cuz they’re lucky.

Borrowing is extremely op.

The idea of peasant rail gun.

Only martial artists and trained warriors can attack more that 2 times a turn without additional features. And at certain levels, only sometimes.

There’s a spell that’s just called “Weird”

Rogues and monks can take 0 damage while engulfed in flames.

[solradguy]

Do you play D&D and if so (or if you have an idea of them from memes/pop culture osmosis) what is your favorite class? Mine's Warlock, though Wizards and Sorcerers are up there with 'em.

I DOOOO PLAY D&D!!! My group and I have been playing together for 6 years now but me and some of my buddies from this group hopped DMs for a year or two before this.

I think I've made more paladins than any other class, but my favorite characters have been a Tiefling barbarian/fighter who was a vessel of Ilharg the Raze Boar from Magic the Gathering and an Aarakocra fighter that was pirate themed. Right now I'm playing a Dhampir (human base) monk (Konstantyn) that was from a space colony of bone-eating vampires and he's lowkey trying to make up for all the people he kidnapped/murdered while part of the space colony, and my other character is a Leonin (lion anthro, basically) wizard (Gringdor) going to Strixhaven (magic wizard college). Gringdor is useless, he's so bad and his dice hate him. Like his stats themselves aren't bad, there's no real reason FOR him to be bad, but he CONSTANTLY fails the absolute easiest rolls lmao

Warlocks are awesome. My character before Konstantyn was a pact of the old one half-Orc/half-Tiefling (Mirasaran/Mira) that had Nyarlathotep living in his brain. He died because he teleported on top of an enemy tentacle while the party was in a collapsing void realm and the tentacle flung him out into the abyss lol

Anyway, I'm a big fan of not thinking too hard and just bonking things over the head with a big metal stick 👍

[valiantstarlights]

The Endless siblings' (and Hob's) DND characters

Disclaimer: I only used stuff from the PHB (5E) to make things easier for everyone, including myself.

Destiny

Race: Half-Orc

Class: Monk (Way of the Open Hand)

Background: Acolyte

Wanted to be a monk so he can reason that his entire body is a weapon and therefore can't be allowed in fancy gatherings.

Wants to have a low INT character because he's tired of knowing everything IRL.

Likes stealing things and gets away with it thanks to his high DEX score.

Carries Death and Delirium's characters on his shoulders when the party has to flee. (Destruction can fend for himself.)

Death

Race: Rock Gnome

Class: Cleric (Life Domain)

Background: Sailor

Nobody dies on her watch. Don't fight her on this. She will win.

Helps everyone, even villains.

Loves shopping episodes.

Dream and Hob's characters' #1 shipper.

Dream

Race: High Elf (or Drow--check with the DM first)

Class: Bard (College of Lore)

Background: Noble

His character is literally the antithesis of what a bard is usually portrayed as.

Wears only black, grey, or white clothes and loves to play melancholic music. Flirting? He doesn't know her. (Desire once called him a College of Eral bard because he took the fun out of funeral.)

Wanted to have a sad ending for his character in the beginning but changed his mind after Hob made him feel so loved that he chose to live happily with him instead. (in-game and in real life.)

The looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll. Donates 10% of his earnings to schools and orphanages and thus is well-loved by good NPCs of the realm.

Destruction

Race: Mountain Dwarf

Class: Barbarian (Path of the Berserker)

Background: Outlander

Tries his best not to be a murderhobo.

Sings Misty Mountains every short/long rest. He's actually more of a traditional bard than Dream is, and he's also proficient in a musical instrument thanks to his background.

Likes drawing (stick figure) fanart of the party.

Describes his character as having the most magnificent beard.

Desire

Race: Tiefling

Class: Sorcerer (Draconic Bloodline)

Background: Charlatan

Tried to seduce Hob's character once and it almost resulted in a PVP with Dream.

Calls the big bad 'mommy/daddy.'

Successfully fucked a genasi who was the big bad's right hand and in doing so saves the day.

They ended up married to him and they have adorable little tiefling-genasi children together.

Despair

Race: Green Dragonborn

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengeance)

Background: Urchin

Amazing at roleplaying.

Likes having the tallest character.

The party's leader via unanimous decision.

Likes to haggle during shopping episodes.

(Note: The twins' characters are siblings. They have literally planned their characters to both have wings that matched the other's race.

Desire's tiefling will have dragon wings at level 14. Despair's dragonborn will have wings at level 20 and she's gonna describe them as bat-like and demonic in appearance.)

Delirium

Race: Lightfoot Halfling

Class: Druid (Circle of the Moon)

Background: Hermit

Just wants to turn into all the animals and talk to plants!

Druidcrafts flower crowns every day for everyone (Dream and Hob get matching ones)

Likes to be the party's weather forecaster.

Hoards all the dice.

Hob

Race: Half-Elf

Class: Rogue (Assassin)

Background: Soldier

Here to romance Dream's character. That's pretty much it.

Will do anything for Dream, including giving him all his gold. Literally the simpiest simp to ever walk the earth.

During character creation, when Dream says he's gonna be an elf, Hob immediately called dibs on being a half-elf. (They gotta be anatomically compatible, okay? For reasons.)

The sunshine of the party along with Delirium. That is, until Dream gets hurt. And then no one is safe from his wrath. He's the looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you. Do not fuck with him (or Dream). He has the power of god and anime on his side.

[belphegor1982]

The thing with Saturdays is that because I work until noon (and sometimes the afternoon too) and then usually use the afternoon to do grocery and stuff shopping, they often feel like two days crammed into one. Not necessarily in a bad way! Just that Saturday evening = knackered Bel. But this Saturday seemed like it was one big DnD day in the best way and wow, rpg really makes me feel like... coming home in some way? Like something was missing from my life and I had no idea until I really gave it a shot. Like fanfiction, in a way.

Case in point: this morning my DM came by my office to ask my help to scan and print something administrative (generally my Saturday mornings are for leaving the door open and encouraging people to come in and ask questions, but people rarely come, unfortunately). Then, because I'd shown interest in DMing one day, and he wants to encourage me and also get to play for a change, we created a character for him that I could DM for and send on solo adventures. So that was super fun and I didn't see the morning go by ✨

After that, because it was grocery shopping time (which we have to drive ~35 minutes for), the Best Beloved and I had a lunch at the nicer version of Olive Garden, and we talked about DnD a LOT, and he decided to create a character I could DM for, too :D He made a half-orc barbarian with kiiind of a paladin mindset (I guess) of "I just wanna help people like people helped me went I was a kid", and due to bad rolls and him embracing them, the character ended up with a wisdom of 6 😆 Now I have to figure out how that translates in RP and how to explain it to him!

Oh, and the kicker? The younger guy who waited on our table approached me afterwards and kinda sheepishly said that he heard us talk, that he used to play DnD in college but hadn't found anyone to play with since he moved here, and would it be possible to join our party? I gave him the DM's number and everyone is very excited at the prospect of getting another player ^^

All in all, a good day!