we got to talk about this bizarre... pressure to be non binary coming from certain people.
honestly, i think its rooted in exorsexism/enbyphobia, which may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.
when i came out as a binary guy, i wanted to test what i was comfortable with in gender presentation. i tried on some nail polish, and then my mum tried to say i was non binary... which im not, im a guy.
ive also heard of butches going through the reverse.
certain cis people learned that non binary people exist, and dont even know that its an umbrella term that has no set definition. a seemingly cis masculine guy could use he/him pronouns but not care about gender and so consider himself non binary. but some people dont understand how this is possible.
some cis people think non binary = androgynous or gnc, resulting in attempted allies thinking feminine men and masculine women have to be non binary.
these people of course also are weird about non binary people who are not woman lite. its its own form of exorsexism.
in my experience, certain queer spaces find masculinity to be frightening, and will pressure masculine people to be more androgynous, or even feminine. id guess that theyd probably find too much femininity to be annoying.
gender is a social construct, but no one is obligated to break it. i enjoy masculinity because it feels natural to me. pink is also a social construct, itself being light red, but people can still like pink more than darker reds.
gender is a bit silly, and you can join in if you want. if you don't like it you can opt out.
cis folk trying to be supportive need to understand that sex, gender, and clothes are entirely separate, unless you personally like joining them for yourself and no one else.
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So this ficlet-ish thing was inspired by @hydrachea, nsfw super genius extraordinaire, but also by the fact that in addition to Boothill's left eye being cybernetic, I like to hc even the parts of him that look human aren't fully natural. I mean the dude eats bullets, after all. I think he should also have vents in his mouth so he can literally blow smoke/steam, it would look super cool. Think Father Gascoigne or Studio BONES' Todoroki. We as a fandom deserve that!!
So anyway, of course, sometimes these vents get blocked up and need to be cleaned manually. Thankfully, Dan Heng is super helpful ☆
Like there's one day where Boothill is lazing around in the archives, fresh off a bounty and happily soaking up the luxury of the Astral Express after however long he's spent tracking his prey through all the dust and dirt with almost no rest.
Boothill likes it in the archives. It's not silent, but it's quiet. There's no music and only muffled voices from outside, but there's the hum of all the computer systems. It makes for a nice place to hide away and recharge when he's just finished exhausting himself.
And besides, Dan Heng is there.
Sometimes the two of them talk back and forth, but today it's mostly quiet...except for-
"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sick."
...Except for Boothill having to constantly clear his throat. That's the thing about your mark trying to flee into the desert. You either go after them and get sand everywhere (and even worse, sticky sand once it gets all bloody) or you wuss out and lose out on the bounty. Personally, Boothill likes being able to afford to eat.
"Grit's stuck in a vent somewhere, 'n' the usual maintenance ain't gettin' it. I'll prob'ly have ta manually dig it out." But later, when he's not laid out half asleep on Dan Heng's extra futon. Usually after a chase as long as this one took, he can shut down for almost a full day. He doesn't want to get up yet.
Something shadows over him, and reflex demands Boothill's eye open. Dan Heng steps around him on his way to some drawer built in the wall on the other side of the room or something. Boothill closes his eye again.
From under his hat he hears the sounds of rummaging, drawers sliding open and shut, the swish of a long coat. The shadow returns.
"Sit up, just momentarily. I have something to help." And Boothill groans a tired don't wanna, but he does it anyway, he hauls himself upright into a kneel. And then he sits up a little straighter because he realizes Dan Heng is standing right over him.
Dan Heng tells him "open your mouth," and Boothill's jaw pops open without his permission, without even a second thought, and hey, what protocol in there ok'd THAT?!?!
Before he can really unpack whatever the heck that just was, though, Dan Heng murmurs for him to say so if he needs them to stop, and then he's sliding a long, hard rod down Boothill's throat, tipped with some soft little brush he probably uses for all his fancy archival equipment.
Dan Heng tells him the handle of the brush is straight and can't be bent, he needs to move his head to be able to reach the vent in his throat. Boothill hums affirmatively; he can't do anything else with his mouth occupied.
Dan Heng's free hand holds him by his jaw, tilts it up slowly but firmly so he has to look straight up at him.
Boothill feels dizzy.
The cycle of blue blood through his artificial heart whirrs just a bit faster, his temperature sensor pings an internal alarm to warn for imminent overheating. Boothill curls his fingers into the guard over his knee as Dan Heng carefully brushes at the dust irritating him. All other sounds- the hum of running equipment, the occasional beep from the computers, the noise of the crew outside of this room- seem to pull away, until all Boothill can focus on is the steady and measured breathing from the man above him.
"Almost done."
Thank the aeons, maybe one of them likes him after all.
"Your tongue is in the way... I'm going to hold it down, ok?"
Nevermind.
The fingers holding his jaw curl around his chin, thumb slipping past open lips to dip into his mouth and pin down his tongue. One of his teeth catch on the digit, breaking skin just enough to bleed a drop where he can taste it. Dan Heng doesn't even flinch. Another temperature alarm pings off in his brain, then another, then another.
Boothill has never been shy about eye contact but oh, god, it nearly kills him when dull green irises flick away from their task and look down right at him as his mouth is held open. He quickly squeezes his own eye shut for some relief.
With his vision cut off, the rest of his senses automatically recalibrate to compensate. He can hear every breath even more distinctly now, every soft inhale and exhale, feel the strain in his neck, the softness of the brush, the hard floor beneath his knees, the hand holding his jaw and the fingerprints that feel like they should leave burns in his skin, the taste of Dan Heng heavy on his tongue-
Forget it, eye open, eye open!!
"Alright. There's one last pebble stuck."
Boothill had been trained to endure torture, back on his homeworld. It was part of being in a gang, part of being a bounty hunter.
Somehow, keeping himself quiet and still as Dan Heng inches the brush even further down the back of his throat is a profoundly similar experience.
The seconds tick by, Dan Heng's brow furrowing, face growing ever more concentrated and Boothill struggles not to watch him too closely, fights down the noise that suddenly tries to escape him as the brush withdraws-
"Swallow."
Stars and aeons, Dan Heng is going to be the death of him.
Boothill swallows. He feels it when the movement finally dislodges the loosened pebble from his vent.
His face feels shockingly cold now bereft of touch, even though Dan Heng's hands are always cool. He asks to see, and Boothill's mouth is already open again to show him, even as he belatedly realizes he could have just told him it had worked.
"Good." There's the slightest smile on Dan Heng's lips as he finally, mercifully, leans back out of his personal space, goes to put away the brush. "That should feel better now." Boothill spends a moment dizzy and dazed, feeling the need to blink spots out of his eye even though his vision is clear. He still hasn't moved off his knees.
What the fudge.
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A Hand To Hold Forever
Summary:
Wallace and Todd have been dating for two weeks now. While on a date in the park Wallace realised they have yet to hold hands; He is going to change that today.
Pairing: Wallace Wells x Todd Ingram
Genre: Fluff
wc: 570
a/n: I have an AO3 account now where I will also be posting my fics- “ScottsGayRoomate”
Wallace and Todd had been dating for two weeks. It's not really that long, if you think about it.
People usually date for months or even years before really getting close and moving on to the next stage.
Even if they were not super close Wallace felt proud of himself and he wanted to share that with Todd any way he could.
As a result, they ended up going on a date- a simple trip to the park to walk and laugh together.
The first half of the trip had gone really well. They visited the rose gardens and shared some ice cream.
After finishing the ice cream, while walking on one of the smaller trails, a thought occurred to Wallace.
He had noticed a couple not far from them holding hands, and almost instantly his hands flickered to Todd’s hand.
What would it feel like in his...? Would it be soft? Rough? Probably rough right? Would he hold Wallace’s hand lightly or squeeze it? Would his hand be hot or cold?
Suddenly, Wallace wanted to find out. He really, really wanted to. He was no longer focused on his surroundings and instead directed his gaze directly to Todd’s hand.
Todd wasn't looking his way, and Wallace slowly reached over.
Just as their fingers were about to touch, he caught his breath and pulled his hand back just as Todd turned, pointing towards a squirrel travelling up a tree.
Wallace awkwardly chuckled, but his thoughts were elsewhere.
What if Todd freaked out when Wallace tried to hold his hand?
What if he became uncomfortable, or got disgusted, or just pulled his hand away ignoring it and dismissing Wallace altogether?
Would he cancel the date and go home early? That would... really hurt.
Two weeks. Wallace repeated those two words a few times in his head, first slowly, then faster.
Was two weeks too soon for hand holding? Or maybe it was too soon for Todd?
Which would be worse? Wallace continued to smile and agree and joke and pout for the next hour, trying to act normal. It was not important, he should just forget about it, right? Easier said than done.
After nearly 20 minutes of contemplation Wallace decided to just suck it up and hold his hand.
Even if it didn't work out and something bad happened, he would just forget about it eventually, right?
It is not like it would stay on his mind forever, slowly eating away at his thoughts, making him worry and freak out over every future thing he ever did with Todd.... riiiight?
Wallace waited until Todd was not looking, he reached - and chickened out again. He just... could not do it.
It freaked him out just too much, he wanted to, he wanted to have the experience, but it was so hard to make the first move!
He tried to continue acting normal, to not let his worry show.
They still had another hour before they would go home so it would be best to just try and enjoy it.
Half an hour later as they re-entered the rose gardens when suddenly Todd reached out and held his hand.
Wallace was in shock as his worries instantly began to melt away.
He looked up to meet Todd’s soft gaze as he smiled supportingly. This instantly snapped Wallace out of his daze.
Flustered, he slowly squeezed Todd’s hand.
It was... warm
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