#ladies gentlemen and nonbinary beings i present to you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

popculturebuffet · 2 days

Text

X-Month: X-Men Blue Origins: Kurt has Two Mommies (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy muties and welcome back to Mutant Month! And it wouldn't be mutant month without a look at the Krakoan age, the previous era of x-men that sadly just ended.

So quick recap: Krakoa was a living island the x-men lived on for the past 5 years, an island nation that offered them peace, security and immortality. This sadly could not last as status quos in comics do not last nor do dreams: So late last year at the third hellfire gala all hell broke loose: Orchis, a secret shadowy enclave of humans being manipulated by robots for their own ends, launched an attack, poinsing the life saving drugs krakoa had used to barter and killing everyone present at the gala who wasn't a mutant to frame them, while then tricking charles xavier into making everyone walk into a portal.. that lead to some limbo dimension instead.

The X-Men and associates resisted thanks to something Xavier had taught and passed on, something Al Ewing had came up with in his run on New Avengers and brought with him when he came onto the x-side of things, the red triangle protocol. Basically you focus on a red triangle to block out a psycic attack. SO the x-men and allies they presumibly taught it too resisted and went underground.

So the x-men were scattered to the winds leading to a bunch of mini series leading into the end of the era. And one of those is one of the most delightfully batshit and brilliant ideas of the krakoan age: The Uncanny Spider-Man. Ladies, gentlemen, and my nonbinary folks... Kurt Wagner.. was spider-man.

Uncanny Spider-Man was the third and final part of Simon Spurrier's trilogy of x-men books. Spurrier had previously worked on the awesome and underated X-Men Legacy, following Xavier's son legoin in the wake of Charles death and fleshing out Legion tremendously.

So unsuprisingly while Kurt was the main character of this , trying to find a spirtual way forward for a mutantkind that had put a stopper in death, Legion was the deutragonist, following kurt every step of the way and helping him found their own religion/way of life, the legion of x. This eventually collapsed thanks to david having to take his girlfriend and leave reality to escape a witch after his soul, while Orchis made Kurt into a monster man that killed people and not taking that well being who he is, Kurt vanished.

So he became a spider-man. It was with Peter's full approval, as Kurt needed to hide and like any good spider-man Kurt swung around, had fun and dodged his problems till they came down on him.

And during all of this, dodging his angst, dating silver sable, and other stuff.. Mystique came back, having escaped the gala but in a barely coherent state. And it's here our story picks up.

X-Men Origins Blue is a one shot taking place during uncanny, with the comic itself pointing out exactly where. And as the title suggests it gives the REAL origin of nightcrawler... or rather his birth.

Nightcrawlers origins are a complex topic I don't know enough about, but Chris Claremont's intent for them was made clear the second he brought Mystique over from Ms Marvel to the X-Men comics with days of future past: Kurt noted they looked similar.. and she brushed it off.

Then.. this wasn't adressed for some time until his excalibur run from what I could dig up (and parts I hadn't gotten to) where it was finally confirmed. So far so simple. Thing was Chris.. intended for Mystique to be not his mom.. but his biological father.

See Chris was progressive for his time when it came to queer characters, having a LOT of friendships that had sapphic overtones. It never felt like he was intentionally queerbaiting, merely that he coudln't do anything because JIm Shooter was gay. And while some you could debate he made his otp obvius: Mystique, mistress of shapeshifting and her lover, friend and confidant Destiny, a precog. He did everything he could to make it clear these two were a thing.

So it's not a suprise his plan was to have Myistque shapeshift into a man to impregnante Irene. Granted the time scale given her age dosen't completely add up, but honestly the idea is so audacious and brilliant i'm willing to ignore it. People saying "Well irene was too old" clearly forget this universe is fucking weird and that, as many on reddit pointed out, they knew sinister.

It's even less suprising Edittorial said fuck no because gays, and tried to give Mystique a case of the not gays forgetting.. she's bisexual. Even Claremont had that in mind as when Destiny was dying she left Mystique in forge's care having a vision of them together. He also wrote Kitty Pryde as bisexual and that later became canon.

So time passed and as far as I can tell there wasn't a clear winner for Kurt's dad. So enter Chuck Austen. For those of you who are bilsfully unaware of this guys existance and thus didn't want to reflexively go numb with terror at the mention of his name, a primer: Chuck Austen wrote Uncanny X-Men during Grant Morrison's legendary run on New X-Men and proceded to write the worst run in x-men history. That's not hyperbole and having recently read most of the 90's x-men comics to filll that gap in my history, it's not a high bar to clear.

Austen's run includes: A plot by the anti mutant church of humanity to install nightcrawler as pope then fake the rapture, mutanting Juggernaughts hetero lifemate black tom into a plant monster they only stopped by having leftover member from the previous run stacey x use her phermone powers to get him horned up, angel getting healing blood and being made a literal angel, angel's healing blood making him immune to aids which is brought up for no specific reason, Angel having aerial sex with a minor right above her poor mother, and Havok's relationship with Polaris being broken up because a nurse's psycic son got the two together while Havok was in a coma.

I.. I wish i'd made all of this up but no. He also killed off two beloved gen x characters, Skin and Synch, for no adquate reason. This isn't as wacky as the rest of that, but it's still a noticable fuck you. How he got away with this while Grant Morrison was chased out I don't know. I just.. don't know

SO you may be asking/dreading "What.. what else did he do to kurt?" and the answer? He took a mutnat famed for being one of the most kind , loving beings in the marvel universe who just so happened to look like a demon.. and made him half demon. He introduced Kurt's father Azazel who you may remember from First Class where he wasn't a demon nor kurt's dad. Both improvments. Yeah so we got a whole story I haven't forced myself ot read yet that spits on the characters concept and generally sounds awful and like a bargin bin version of Raven's arc from New Teen TItnas

Azazel was largely ignored for good damn reason till Jason Aaron brought him back and decided since he for whatever reason couldn't retcon him out to make the best of a bad situation: he made Azazel into a pirate who was stealing souls from heaven, forcing Kurt to summon his friends as a crew to have a pirate fight with his dad. I swear to god this will be covered some pirate month.

This helped a little but Aaron leaving the x-side of things and no one wanting to touch this left Azazel in the wind. So with the x-men at their peak and Myistque and Destiny at the center of things after she finally brought the latter back, the time seemed right ot finally fix this. So the question is simple: how do you fix the origin to it's original form while accounting for the demon man retcon and the baron introduced Mystique cucked. The answer is convoluted, fun and mildly beautiful and it's under the cut

We begin with atiny gremlin resembling an albino nightcrawler recapping where we're at up to this point, which i've already covered. The little guy is kurt's tiny friend that talks to him during his solo and narrates the recap for us. I'll also let him explain who he is

Fair enough. I also love the tone our little narrator keeps. Winking and nodding to the fact that while part of the narrative of Uncanny it's also a standalone mostly there for the retcons it's about to do and Spurrier's clearly aware plenty of future fans will read this on marvel unilimited or pick up the issue simply FOR this one reason.

So at this point Kurt is trying to comfort his mother whose lost in the memory of loosing her baby and this being Mystique is waving a pistol around at people. Kurt tries to help by giving her the version they both know: While Mystique and Destiny were firmly together for most of their very long lives, meeting in the 1900's with Mystiques past before that a giant question mark, they were on and off for a variety of reasons from normal couple issues to the simple facts of their powers: Raven is a shapeshifter meaning she's often living a whole other life that can't always acomedate the love of her life and Destiny being a precog means sometimes she has to go off and do shit to make sure things go the right way. So while they were wives for lives, they also had a very open marraige, with Raven taking partners for lonliness, to get by what have you and vice versa.

One of these was Christian Wagner, Kurt's alleged dad and a eurpoean count Raven hooked up with soley for money's sake and being a sexist dick, it wasn't easy. So she cheated on him with Azazel because sexy devil man, had his child and had to abandon kurt.. only.. the story isn't making sense to her and her head is hurting. After another round of his mommy waving a gun in his face, Kurt decides to cut the thing with the hopesword.

Thankfully Marvel knew this might be a lot for people reading Uncanny at the time and explained it in an article. Which is good for me as I haven't reread legion of x and forgot how the hell all this happened. So Nightcrawler's stepmom whose magic made mutants into rampaging monsters to help Orchis plan, Kurt included, hence the spider-man getup, and turned Kurt's hope into a sword that his friends made sure he got back.

Said sword is the hope of posisblity what can be and Kurt hands it to his mom in the hopes it'lll help her mind.. and not cut him in half. Lucky for Kurt he has a long history of taking a bet on someone everyone else says to run the fuck away from and it works.

So we get the FULL story and the full retcon of what happened, keeping Count Wagner and Azrael, but reframing it.

So like I said the two had an open marraige, with the two open to date whoever provided it benefitted them as a couple. Hence count wagner: he was rich, full of himself and has the kind of vibe that just screams "I cum in two minutes", so while obnoxious, he was easy enough to put up with as the long con was worth it and it was easy enough to get Irene in as her bang maid since Count Wagner really wasn't paying any attention to the house as long as it didn't cost him anything.

Instead of the torrid affair it was portrayed as in the past, Raven frames it as.. honestly way more realistic for how the characters are played in most comics not written by the nightcrawler pope guy.

It didn't help she sensed Raven was growing distance, figuring he was her fairwell gift. Raven's exact words. Which honestly satan's dick isn't the worst farewell gift but... get her a demon who can perform at least Irene sheesh.

Turns out though Irene had other plans.. she wanted to make a baby just the two of them. And I love Marcus To's art in this issue in general, beauitful, heartbreaking, well done, especially since as the one handling the present day wraparound he has to carry a LOT of emotion as the wraparound is mostly talking.. granted Kurt is wearing a spidey suit so only his eyes can emote for most of it but still. But I love this panel after she gives the reveal, as Raven sokes int he emotions

I also like the charcterization of Raven: Spurrier and To don't forget that Raven. .is a bad person. While I saw a complaint or two on reddit in doing research, honestly.. it dosen't sugarcoat it. She talks about the men she dated as toys she broke, waves a gun around and is harsh with Kurt, who she later reveals once she got the memories back she knew was her baby boy. Raven is a pragmatic person who wants whatever the hell she wants and will steal and kill to get it. Yet this tale.. still works. Just because a person is awful.. dosen't mean they can't love and just because neither Raven nor Irene is a good person... dosen't mean they don't deserve a child made of love. There were other births but this was thehirs.

Raven is also recast as nonbinary, saying the only real diffrence between genders is those who can be who they are and those denied the right and Raven Darkholme is who she is. I also find Kurt's inital bafflement that 'but your both women" hilariously naive for a man who was spending his time being a spider-man while palling around with what he knew deep down was the conciousness of one of his best friends pretending to be gremlin him, while wilding a sword made of pure hope.

The comic does retcon Mystiques abiliteis; she CAN change her dna. She dosen't often becasue she dosen't WANT to but given how she can fool any scanner imaginable this makes perfect sense. Her power isn't mimicking apperance.. it's altering her genes. We get a file page from Dr. Nemisis, an immortal mutant nazi hunter who played a supporting role in both previous spurrier nightcrawler books and who fleshes this out more. She's near omega levels. Omega is a term that was just vauge shorthand for "really powerful" that kept being used way too often, and which Jonathan Hickman helpfully redefined so it was still useable, but also limited it to a handful of mutants: any mutant whose power has no upper limit. The only reason he can't formally classify her as omega as he dosen't know if she could mimic x-genes or change her own. Basically a way that leaves the door open to that but dosen't shove it too open as it was clear Spurrier didn't really have time to get into this concept and left it for future writers to do more with.

So after a brain headache, Mystqiue presses on: she immediately dumped Azazel, who took it with a lot of bitch crying and "I'M DUMPING YOU YOUR NOT ME" nonsense as you'd expect.

Christian was less easy at first: while Raven grew a bump to match his , the Baron wanted a dna test. Which given Raven used a bunch of male dna she had lying around including his could've been bad. Thankfully Baron Incel walked in on them and honestly in other circumstances i'd feel bad; Raven cheated on him, was using him for money and slits his fucking throat.. but given he both calls them Sapphic Harlots, in what given the floating timeline would've been the early 90's, planning to have them WHIPPED for it...

So they go through with the pregnancy with Raven pretneding to both be her pregnant self and the baron, dismissing the staff and generally enjoying the process. She also keeps the prengancy belly even when not in public at times... to carry the prengancy with her wife. Awww. And I like this a lot.. is it idealized.. yeah. But again a bad person CAN be happy. Evil can love. Raven being terrible dosen't mean she can't genuinely have cared.

So the baby comes and the doctors.. arne't exactly impressed.. raven though

There are so many little touches to this I didn't notice the first time I read it... but this one is so damn good. The "see me".

Sadly this didn't last as naturally the doctors of 1990 in a small villiage weren't ready for sapphic mutants and their elf child so they attacked. The setup is as it was many times and showed up in x-men the animated series, evolution and others: nightcrawler is born, and the poor boy is, like too many mutants hated and feared just for being born. So Raven flees while Irene stays behind saying she'll be fine. And it's that last part that flips the script. Raven leaves her baby boy.. but unlike the past where she threw him away , choosing his life over hers.. she simply left him. That simple. She left him at the base of a tree to go save irene.. only to find as she said, she'd left. And when Raven returns.. Kurt is gone.

Kurt tries to comfort her in the present taking off the mask.... but she knows already. Kurt does see this as a possible new beginning because.. he's Kurt Wagner. He sees the good in people even after the many horrible things his mom has done. Mystique however sees it as the past: it was a lifetime ago, theyg rew apart and what's really important is seeing this memory through.

So a few years of in her words sex, violence and nihilism that meant nothing thorugh the pain later, Raven catches up to her wife in the usual way

Yeah the story dosen't really let Irene get away with things easy either. They only reconcile, and then only barely, because Destiny basically waves Rogue in front of her face and forces her to adopt the daughter Raven always wanted. I do like how the narrative dosen't cheapen her adopting Rogue either: While Destiny does again essnetially go "here's another child to raise", when confronted with what the pimps and pushers might do to this poor child , despite all the hate and needed explinations.. Raven's first insitnct.. is to comfort Rogue. She's still fucking pissed, at her worse.. but she sees a child lost due to her gift, needing her and ignores her pain to help.

So Destiny explains once their alone and Rogue is getting so me much needed sleep now happily adopted. Turns out the reason Kurt was abandoned.. was fate. And these retcons are the parts where the issue reaches a bit for me. The rest is fine: that Mystique did love her son once, as while her abandoning him is somewhat in character, her having genuinely loved him and given him away not because she wanted to but because Destiny played it that way feels more in character with who she's become, the more nuanced character versus the pure evil she could be at times especially in the late 2000's and 2010's.

This though.. is reaching. So Azazel of all people would've conquered thew orld, which I call bullshit on as while he was portrayed as a genuine threat, and admittedly I haven't read the draco because if i'm going to do it i'm damn well going to get some content out of it and possibly money, he was never.. this level. And sure he could purely focus on it but.. dr strange existead at this point. The idea he needed to be distracted isn't terrible but I don't buy from the story set up he needed that to be stopped. It's servicible enough but dosen't feel valid.

The second part is more... iffy. Kurt needed to grow up hated nad feared , left with Margalai and growing form his pain. That feels very chosen oney and I don't like it. Kurt is who he is not due to fate but who he is. Thankfully what saves this from being pure garbage.. is the reactions of mother and son to it. Kurt is broken up, not wanting ot think he's bound to fate this tightly and just a puppet on invisible strings, while Raven.. nearly chokes irene scremaing MY SON IS NOT A TOOL OF FATE.

So Irene knowing they can't go on like this decides to mindwipe the whole stuff, something Raven agrees to but unlike irene she wants to remember Kurt's her son. Unforutnately they went to Charles Xavier for this and he warns her what her mind might do and wipes his own mind. Because he can do that. This is flimsy, but it makes sense and while Raven blames charles saying he made her hate her child, it was her own brain doing that. He warned her it might happened and as usual she didn't listen.

But she's more upset that in her rage and need to move on she let herself forget breaking down.. and as usual kurt forgives her

It's pwoerful words.. and the truth. Destiny may of seen how things were going.. but Kurt isn't who he is because of some fated path. As much as I hate that chosen oney framing, the comic does a good job making it clear that whatever Destiny saw.. Kurt is his own man.. and he's a man who wants the mom he never really had back. So the two forge an uneasy possible future, walking off.... tommorow is another day.

And so far this has stuck. Irene got restored too not wanting it at first but accepting kurt once she did get her memories properly restroed, and while both left, it wasn't to just abandon their kids, but simply because of that whole fate thing combind with being wandering soles. Plus it's easier for them to show up later in uncanny than have them in the cast from day one. Raven and Irene wander, it's what they do. So for now Kurt seems to be joining the cast of Uncanny X-Men while Myistque is getting her own mini up to some mysterious gameplan. But wherever they go... Kurt now has two mothers who love him.

X-Men Blue Origins is a fantastic issue packed with tons of fantastic emotoinal artwork, great writing and a really compelling wraparound as our heroes go through this story and find the truth. It also does the best it can to stand alone while not ignoring the story it's part of and nicely implements an idea decades in the making. This CAN go wrong as just because a great writer came up with it dosen't mean it's.. good as claremont also had some less stellar concepts, see x-men forever for that. Another sword of damocles over my head for another day. It's a great issue and well worth checking out on Marvel Unilmited or if you find it in a back issue bin or online or whatever and a gloriously gay idea executed at long last.

Next Time: We close out the month with a list! My top 12 x-runs! From factors to men it's the best of x

#x-men blue #x-men #mystique #raven darkholme #irene adler #destiny #mystique x destiny #nightcrawler #kurt wagner #azazel #comics #krakoa #fall of x #simon spurrier

13 notes · View notes

officalroyalsofpierreland · 10 months

Text

The Engagement Press Call: Oliver & Hortense

Stéphane Bernard: My esteemed collegues, I'm afraid I must cut you off to inform the people that Tulleries Palace and Holyrood Palace in Scots are announcing that Her Imperial Highness Madame Hortense and His Royal Highness Prince Oliver are engaged! I'm being told that we shall be peering into the press call with our collegue at the Scottish Broadcasting Corporation, Mr. Travis Middleton. Monsieur?

Travis Middleton: Thank you Stéphane. It is an honor to be introduced by one of the greatest presenters in not just the Europesim but the simverse. Ladies, Gentlemen, and Nonbinary guests, I am Travis Middleton of the Scottish Broadcasting Corporation and I am here in the throne room of Holyrood Palace in Scotland as we await His Royal Highness Prince Oliver the Duke of Rothsey and his fiancée Her Imperial Highness Madame Hortense of Francesim. The room is buzzing in excitement as this is the first royal engagement that is being announced in the throne room since the engagement of the Duke’s parents, King Alexander and Queen Marie Christine. The press is excited, the Kingdom is excited and I must say, I believe the couple is excited to finally share this with the world. It is quite the time for celebrations, is it the same in Francesim Stéphane? Stéphane: That it is young Travis, we too are excited to see Madame Hortense so happy as she is with your prince. I feel like I've been preparing for this wedding for twenty years, ever since Princess Hortense was born! Travis: And with that, I believe the King’s Equerry is about to come in and we are about to start.

Equerry: Members of the Simverse’s press and those watching from home, His Royal Highness the Duke of Rothsey and Her Imperial Highness Madame Hortense of Francesim are about to enter. Those in the room, please wait for the couple to address you. And now, His Royal Highness the Duke of Rothsey and Her Imperial Highness Madame Hortense of Francesim.

[The murmurring of the gathered press and clicking of cameras]

Oliver: Well..Hello everyone! It’s nice to see so many familiar faces and I think some of you are thinking…it’s about time for you to get engaged [Room collectively chuckles] and by some I am refering to Mr. James McKinnon from the Highlander [The room roars with laughter] I jest I jest. But seriously, I knew that when finding my life partner, I knew I would like to take it slow and enjoy the process. I just didn’t expect my studies at the Polytechnic would also lead me into finding my soulmate who happened to forgive and see past my quite awful attempts at French. Hortense [chuckling]: You do not give yourself enough credit Oliver. Oliver: And you give me far too much mao gaol. Now…I believe we would like to give the Press a chance to ask us some questions. Equerry: Sir & Ma'am, our first question comes from Mr. James McKinnon from The Highlander Mr. McKinnon: Your Royal and Imperial Highnesses, congratulations from all of us here at The Highlander. I’d like to ask Her Imperial Highness, how did His Royal Highness propose?

Hortense: It was quite sudden for me. We were going for a drive near Compiègne and he pulled up to a château that I had seen near the Imperial estate over the years. He tells me that he wanted us to tour it together, and then proceeds to inform me that he has purchased the property! We were in the gardens and we walked to a gazebo. Then he asked and I accepted! Equerry: Sir, Ma’am, we now have a question from Arthur Thomas, a reporter from Point Royal Mr. Thomas: Congratulations from the French, Madame Hortense and Prince Oliver. Can you tell us about the ring?

Oliver: It is quite a unique piece. The ruby comes from some loose gems that belong to my grandmother Queen Victoria, the diamonds come from a historical gift from the French people to the Scottish Royal Family, and the gold is actually from a nugget given by my Uncle David, the Emperor of Pierreland so the ring is quite international!

Hortense: I got to meet Her Majesty and she is quite the woman, I admire her tenacity and her wit! I find it so touching how Oliver selected pieces of this ring that symbolize the places and people that have brought us together. Equerry: Next we have a question from Travis Middleton on behalf of the Scottish Broadcasting Corporation and Francesim 2 Travis: Your Royal and Imperial Highnesses, congratulations on behalf of the staff of both the Scottish Broadcasting Corporation and Francesim 2. Madame Hortense, are there any pieces of Scots culture that have taken your fancy?

Hortense: I have definitely become fascinated with the love of tartan and the scottish highlands. Oliver has worn his kilt on some occasions and it only improves his handsomeness! I love that tartan can show family unity but also bind the nation together. Oliver: I’m also glad that the Council of Clans has also given the Imperial House of Simparte a clan tartan as is traditional for families marrying into the Royal Family who do not have tartan. Hortense: I’m excited to be able to share the tartan tradition with my family. Equerry: And Rolf Marchand, reporter from Voici will take the last question. Rolf Marchand: Congratulations Your Royal and Imperial Highnesses. Your Royal Highness, did you get the blessing of all the Imperial Family?

Oliver[chuckling]: I wouldn’t have proposed if I didn’t that is for sure. First of all, my father has known of my intentions for a while so I was clear to ask the Emperor. I asked the Emperor privately during the end of year ball for the école polytechnique. Hortense[laughing]: So that is where you and my brother went! Oliver: yes! And before that, I asked Her Imperial Majesty Madame Mère, since I know that I personally wanted her blessing. I only wish I could’ve asked His Imperial Majesty Emperor Napoléon IV. Hortense: I’m sure he would’ve definitely approved of you Oliver. And I believe, we now need to pose for you lovely people to take pictures.

Stéphane: A lovely and charming interview from the couple. The people of Francesim are rejoicing and have been on this couple's side. It is quite an exciting time with this news and the upcoming coronation of Napoleon V.

Travis: Indeed Stephane, I know the Scots have fallen in love with the beautiful and wonderful Madame Hortense. It'll be as if we've won the world cup here in Scots because I am starting to hear the faint sounds of dancing in the streets. I'm Travis Middleton of the Scottish Broadcasting Corporation here at Holyrood Palace. Thank you for joining me on this, remarkable occassion.

Hortense and Stéphane Bernard belong to @empiredesimparte

#officalroyalsofpierreland #story #collab #sim: oliver stuart #sim: hortense #empiredesimparte

19 notes · View notes

scattered-winter · 1 year

Note

I was think more about Shiro’s Bayard being able to turn into a fan (or maybe a pair of fans) and this popped into my head:

*Team Voltron is planning on how to infiltrate a heavily fortified Galra base*

Coran: The place is absolutely crawling with soldiers. There isn’t a single blind spot along the perimeter or gap in the patrol schedule.

Pidge: So, stealthing our way in is pretty impossible. We’re going a distraction if we want to get in, and a big one at that.

Lance: How the heck are we going get the attention of all those guards? An explosion?

Allura: Unfortunately, no. An explosion way draw the exterior guards’ attention, but the soldiers inside the base will be put on high alert.

Shiro: Let me handle it, I’ll distract the guards while you get inside.

Hunk: Uh, you sure about that, it could be really dangerous.

Lance: Yeah, what are you gonna do, enrapture them with a fan dance.

Shiro: *smiling* Actually, yes.

*Later, at the base*

Guard 1: Hey, Gorlak?

Guard 2: *sighs* Yes. Steve.

Steve: You ever think that, I dunno, we’re the bad guys?

Gorlak: I honestly try not to think to much at all. Less likely to be executed for treason that way.

Steve: See, that’s what I mean! If the Galra Empire and Zarkon are so great, why do—

Coran, projecting his voice through his Olkari Cubes: Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary persons, may I please have your attention!

Gorlak: The fuck is happening?

Coran: It is with greatest pride and deepest please that I welcome you welcome you hear tonight. We invite you all to please, relax, put your swords and guns away as we present, the one, the only, Kuro no Shishi.

*a spotlight suddenly appears, illuminating Shiro, who is dressed in a beautiful black kimono patterned with stars and a porcelain lion mask. His Bayard is transformed into a pair of folding fans*

*Music plays from the cubes as Shiro begins to dance. It is entrancing, slow, graceful, and elegant, not a single wasted movement.*

Steve: *utterly enraptured* …what were we talking about.

Gorlak: *similarly enraptured* Stop talking and watch the pretty dancing lion.

*The guards all gather in a crowd to watch Shiro’s dance, completely unaware of the other Paladins sneaking towards the base behind an outcropping of rocks.*

Lance: Huh, when Shiro said he was going to do a fan dance, I was expecting something more… sultry. But this is amazing.

Keith: Shiro’s classically trained in nihon-buyo. You should have seen him at the party they held before the Keroberos mission.

Pidge: Shiro can apparently cut a rug, that’s great. Now come on, we’ve got more important things to do, right Hunk?

Hunk: *completely mesmerized by Shiro’s dancing* It’s so beautiful, I never want him to stop.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO REAL REAL REAL REAL

#this is so fucking funny #voltron #xpegasusuniverse

2 notes · View notes

tr3ns-d3ath-d3ity · 2 years

Text

"LGBTQA+ is one of the most accepting communities, you're not being targeted by other queer people!! 😤😡"

Aight, time for the list of things related to my queer identity I've been yelled at for by other LGBTQA+ people (for context: I am an oriented aroace, trans, queer, and polyamorous dude):

・Being a trans man.

・Identifying as queer/calling myself queer.

・Saying that gay And mlm are two different things, just like wlw and lesbian are two different things

・Saying that trans women are women.

・Being attracted to men.

・Not being attracted to women and people on the genderqueer/nonbinary spectrum.

・Being oriented aroace.

・Not being monogamous.

・Talking about genuinely loving men.

・Being aspec and having npd (quote the girl who yelled at me for that: "your npd made you aroace, you're just to selfish to commit to genuine love lol.").

・Not being lesbian.

・Not being pan.

・Saying that I support mspec gays/lesbians because it’s not my place to judge other people’s identities just because I may not fully understand them.

・Saying mspec, the multi spectrum, or multiromantic/multisexual (to include ply, pan, omni, bi, neptunic, uranic, and every other pluralian sexuality) instead of just bi.

・Saying that nonbinary people can present themselves as masculine, androgynous, neutral, or feminine as they want, and still be nonbinary.

・Literally just. wearing green eyeshadow????? (quote the person who yelled at me for that: “t hat's a lesbian color, bro, you're literally appropriating lesbian culture by that.")

・Presenting masculine.

・Using he/him pronouns.

・Referring to the D-Slur as tThe D-Slur (y'all want me to say a slur I can't reclaim?????).

・Saying that the og polyamory flag (the blue-red-black one with the yellow pi symbol in the middle) looks neat.

・Not using any of the new polyamory flags because I prefer the blue-red-black + pi symbol one.

・Asking if there’s a word for nonbinary people who are exclusively/only attracted to other nonbinary people.

・Hating non-men who fetishize achillean relationships.

・Being specifically Half-Asian and queer.

・Writing books about exclusively queer men/non-women, mostly to cope with trauma stuff (apparently if your writing doesn't consist of a trillion sapphics, two gay fathers that get three seconds of screentime, and the occasionally non-human nonbinary person, it's automatically bad writing???? Okay damn. Sorry for focusing on my own experiences, I guess?).

・Not necessarily wanting to get married or have a romantic/sexual relationship.

・Shipping two characters in a queerplatonic way instead of a sexual/romantic one.

・Headcanoning a popular fandom character as aroace.

・Mentioning aroallo people.

・Saying that straight asexuals and straights aromantics are LGBTQA+ since that's what the A stands for.

・Not being T4T (I just wanna love men in peace fuck off with your "but cis men are horrible!! 🥺🤢😱 Limit yourself to trans men because I said so!! 😤🤬🤬"-Bullshit).

・Using someone’s neopronouns.

・Supporting xenogender people.

・Headcanoning a canonically lesbian character as trans female.

・Saying that I want more representation of achillean, aroace, trans, and asexual men in media.

・Asking asking someone who knew I used he/him pronouns to not refer to me with they/them (like, girlie, that’s called misgendering).

・Mentioning that women can be aroallo.

・Saying that people who don’t label their genders/sexualities can be LGBTQA+ too.

・Saying that two pan women I know in reallife dating each other aren’t lesbians because... they’re both pan?

・Mentioning that queer men should always be welcome in queer spaces.

・Saying that amab nonbinary folks can be lesbian.

・Wanting to go on T.

・Jokingly referring to my tiddies and my pussy as boys.

And last but not least,

・Saying "people", "y'all", "esteemed guests", or "everyone present" instead of "ladies and gentlemen".

I dunno, homie, I actually do feel a little targeted here.

807 notes · View notes

goddammitravio · 4 years

Text

alright so I don’t think anyone HAS capitalized on it so I’m now going to. ladies gentlemen and nonbinaries I present to you: Miraculous Rhythm Thief (basically rhythm thief but hawkmoth starts fucking things up also)

ladybug and chat noir chase after a thief who broke into the louvre, only to lose him when they’re attacked by some mooks in old soldier uniforms

the next day marinette runs into her friend marie as she heads to the notre dame for some reason (accompanied by raphael)

in the notre dame marie plays a magic-ass violin and uncovers a pretty-looking crown

they’re attacked by mooks AGAIN so marinette hides and transforms to come back and beat them up

raphael admits that yeah he’s Phantom R who stole from the louvre and marinette has a bluescreen moment because this kid just openly telling her his secret identity goes against everything she knows about being ladybug

she agrees to help him with this shit on the condition he returns what he stole from the louvre

hawkmoth at some point makes everyone’s problems worse by akumatizing multiple main cast members, climaxing in akumatizing a dude claiming he’s napoleon

there’s a ball scene at one point where everyone dances together. chat noir and ladybug waltz for like five minutes before everything goes to hell

raphael and chat noir develop a fucking bromance within five minutes of being alone together

this wild conspiracy they eventually uncover leads back into the miraculous

raphael and marie get miraculouses at some point, or they even get to be ladybug and chat for a bit bc marinette and adrien are incapacitated for some reason

there’s a reveal in there somewhere so marinette and adrien can stop pussyfooting around each other

mr. pigeon is there for no reason other than I love him

#aimless chatter #text shit #miraculous ladybug #rhythm thief #miraculous #listen. the possibility for this crossover is AMAZING

5 notes · View notes

jabbers-written-world · 4 years

Text

Jabber’s Writings

Blossoms of the Heart

All right, ladies and gents and nonbinary friends! As it stands, I am currently beginning work on a novel series called Blossoms of the Heart. I don’t know how many books will be in the series. I don’t know how many of you will be interested. I don’t even know how this series will end! But guess what. That’s where you guys come in.

Blossoms of the Heart is planned to be a series of novels surrounding the female lead. Princess Alyria of Belanor. She is nineteen years old, and her father King Aldric has sent her to live at the secluded family estate, far away from the castle. Now, you may be wondering why he would send his daughter away. Is there a threat? Did she anger him in some way? Perhaps he’s ashamed of her behavior? None of these, my friends. The plot here is something far more interesting and exciting.

King Aldric has sent Princess Alyria to live in the family estate, alongside fifty young men all vying for her hand in marriage. Yes, that’s right. King Aldric has sent his daughter to live with her suitors, for as long as it takes for her to finally choose a husband. Now, this may seem like unfair treatment, to leave his daughter alone with fifty young men all competing for her. It even seems like it could be dangerous. So many possibilities for what may happen if these gentlemen are left unchecked, with only the princess.

Well, that’s just it. Alyria has insisted to her father that she would rather marry for love, than just for politics or because she’s told to do so. So, he is letting her make her own choices, and get to know these young men on her own, so that she may possibly fall in love with one of them, and finally take a husband. To protect their family line, and so that he no longer has to worry about what will happen to their kingdom when he is no longer there.

Oh, and don’t worry. She isn’t left alone with just her suitors. She has all of her most trusted attendants and staff right alongside her as well. All of these individuals are present for her protection, her support, and to ensure she is well taken care of while she is away from the castle. All of them as well, are people her father trusts most with his daughter’s well-being. And they are as follows:

Harrison, her direct attendant and confidant, as of the last seven years. He is elusive, and hardly shows his true feelings, but he is the most capable individual of all the staff present. In a test years ago to earn a place attending to royalty, as is Belanorian custom, there was no one who could compete with this man.

Devon, her favorite cook who has a mysterious way of knowing all that goes on around him, despite rarely leaving the kitchens. He’s a riddle, inside a puzzle, wrapped in a mystery and bound in an enigma. He tends to keep to himself and not cause much trouble, but there are others who seem to want to cause trouble with him.

Elias, the groundskeeper she adores dearly and who manages the horses, though for some unknown reason he doesn’t dare enter the estate unless absolutely necessary, and it could be due to what seems like a secret feud between him and Harrison.

Haru, the secondary captain of her father’s guard who she has known since they both were children, and who so often is like an older brother to her, especially in the way he teases her and even perhaps bullies her a little.

Crosjando, the weaponsmaster who has taught her self-defense and genuinely cares for her safety, and who also manages the excess energy of the suitors by keeping them busy in the training yard.

Gintoki, the king’s advisor who has been lent to Alyria in case she may need his input on these matters (don’t worry, he has another he can rely on back at the castle), and while he may be a bit of grump, he is calmed by his cat and does genuinely care about the princess despite his gruff attitude. Though, he too may have a bit of a feud, and his is less than secret.

Rowain, the king’s most loyal soldier who has also been lent to Alyria for her time at the estate. He is bound by an oath of honor and a life debt to serve King Aldric in whatever his wishes may be, and he is genuinely loyal to the man, and to Alyria. He is her greatest asset alongside Harrison and Gintoki.

Vasha, the djinn that was once given to King Aldric as a gift but instead bonded to Alyria and so now follows her everywhere. He’s mischievous and clever, and more than a little prideful, but truth be told, what djinn isn’t? He doesn’t always obey Alyria, and instead prefers to tease her, but she trusts him with everything. More so than anyone else.

And of course, Alyria has a few maids and housekeeping staff around the estate as well. Which is of course beneficial, since her male attendant Harrison cannot accompany her for certain tasks regarding her privacy. It would be far too indecent to have a man assisting the young lady in bathing or changing her clothes. And that is why the female staff are present for such things. Still, they all report to Harrison, as he is head of staff.

Now, that brings us to the suitors. Fifty young men of all sizes and species, and varying ages, and they are all vying for Alyria’s attention. Some are more polite than others, some are crude, some are lords in their own right, others are of the more common people. The king left it all up to Alyria to decide, and so did not discriminate based on class or species, especially considering that Alyria herself is half-fae. That being said, let us discuss these young men. They are as follows:

Adam, the quiet and loner-ish half-Minotaur from Kalein. He is 21 years of age, and due to his Minotaurian heritage, he has been largely discriminated against. Even King Aldric was hesitant to allow him as a suitor, but gave in with only one condition. If Adam could defeat the strongest castle guards in fair combat, then he would be requested to protect Alyria and stay by her side even if he doesn’t win her affections. Adam agreed, and defeated the guards with barely any harm done. Only minor scrapes, and nothing at all that painful. He treated the men with kindness in battle, and intentionally did not hurt them. He only subdued them, and so has been allowed as one of Alyria’s suitors.

Aden, the charitable half-elf from Kalein. 19 years of age, he is genuinely kind-hearted if perhaps just a little reckless at times. But what he lacks in impulse control, he makes up for in generosity and.. perhaps a little too much honesty. It may be a benefit that he’s as straightforward and direct as he is, even when admitting to his feelings, or it may be off-putting and drag him down instead. Aside from that though, Aden is always willing to lend a hand, to anyone who needs it.

Aladi, the enthusiastic Ha’adani tailor with stories to tell. Also 19 years of age, Aladi has an abundance of energy and good cheer, even if there is a hidden darkness behind it. He has his secrets that he’s hiding behind that smile, and it isn’t just that he used to be a thief. Still, he’s kind and always there to help cheer someone up. The problem is that he has fast hands and a fast tongue. So, by the time Alyria or anyone else may have caught up with the conversation, he’s already taken measurements and mentally chosen fabrics.

Alekai, the younger of a pair of half-demon brothers from Tesak. 19 years of age, Alekai can be considered the more mild-mannered and sweet-natured of the two brothers. He’s often the one apologizing for his brother Eivan’s temper, and is more adaptable and not quite so stubborn. Still, he blames himself for the injuries his older brother sustained on his behalf, and if he could turn back time and fix it all, he would. He loves his brother, but he worries that the elder of the two hates him and blames him for all that happened.

Archer, the gluttonous demon monkey from Belanor. Like quite a few of Alyria’s suitors, he is 19 years of age and full of life. He’s stubborn and a bit of a hot-head, and honestly, he thinks more with his stomach than with his head. He’s an honest sort, even if he is a little slow on the uptake from time to time. He loves to eat, and will happily do so all day, but don’t think he can’t defend himself. Oh, and don’t ask why he’s a monkey without a tail, he doesn’t like to talk about that particular incident.

Arten, the chivalrous knight of the Belanorian guard. 23 years of age, and one of the older suitors at the estate, Arten has actually known Alyria, or Lia as he calls her, for a good portion of her life. Orphaned at a young age when his parents were killed by undead, Arten trained to become stronger and specifically, to fight the undead. When he was sixteen, he offered his services to King Aldric, who.. at first didn’t take him seriously. But when a roaming skeleton attacked the king while out on a hunt, and the creature was quickly dispatched by Arten, King Aldric gave the young man a high honor, and of course made him a member of the guard.

Avis, the ever-praised phoenix of Ha’adan. 21 years of age, and raised as a god. Avis knows he isn’t truly a god, but all he has ever known was growing up in a shrine in Ha’adan, and told he was their god. He has no knowledge of where he really came from, but he knows he isn’t of Ha’adani heritage. Recently, he left the shrine to venture out on a sort of pilgrimage to hopefully find answers, though he is a bit shy when meeting new people. However, while roaming Belanor, he took one look at Aurelia and was infatuated.

Balthazar, the gentleman dragon of Belanor’s seaside. 19 years of age, Balthazar comes from a long line of dragon chieftains, but he was separated at a young age from his clan and instead found himself washed up on the shore of an abandoned shipyard. He has tried over the years to find his clan again, only to learn in recent years that they had all been slaughtered. So he is the last in his line, and it is up to him to carry on their heritage. Upon discovering he was the only one left, Balthazar at first attempted to throw himself into the sea in a fit of despair, but he was rescued by an avian Beast named Marius. The two have been friends ever since, though Marius may deny it. Still, Balthazar knows. They are definitely friends.

Bartleby, the feral but friendly Beast of Belanor. 21 years of age, Bartleby used to be a pirate plundering ships on the high seas. It was a good life for him, but it wasn’t meant to last. A wild storm, coupled by an attack from a serpentine sea beast, and Bartleby washed up near-dead on the shores near the shipyard that had by then become a permanent home to Balthazar and Marius. And with Balthazar’s soft spot for broken things and people, the bear-like Beast was nursed back to health. But no sooner had he recovered and gotten back on his feet, when he was abruptly arrested and thrown in prison for his crimes against the Belanor Empire. He was set for the gallows, soon to be hanged until dead, when Balthazar once again came to his rescue. To this day, he still doesn’t know how the dragon pulled it off, but now he is utterly devoted and loyal, and where Balthazar goes, Bartleby goes.

Blaine, the not-so-angelic angel from Oslana. 18 years of age, and with a bad attitude for the record books. Blaine is far from being the most angelic of angels, and his black wings have nothing to do with it. For one thing, he actually can’t fly. His wings were badly broken when he was a child, and never quite healed the same. But the fisherman who raised him has always done his best. However, now that there’s a dire shortage in Oslana, Blaine has reluctantly come to Belanor to ask for aid. Though, he has yet to actually ask for it. Instead, he set himself as one of Alyria’s suitors, perhaps to gain her assistance first before discussing the problem with her father.

Caine, the blinded serpentine blacksmith of Ha’adani heritage. 20 years of age, Caine has only live in Belanor for the last five years. Before that, he spent much of his life in slavery in the deserts of Ha’adan. He was born to a slave mother, and so has never known freedom until he escaped while in transit to a new master. Surviving on his own has always been difficult, after he was blinded at the age of two, but for a naga at the size he is now, it’s gotten even harder. Still, he made his way to Belanor, and found work for himself as a blacksmith. But when he heard of the call for suitors, well.. he figured why not give it a try.

Cale, the young lord from Oslana. 19 years of age, Cale does his best to be a kind and forgiving person, but he does have a bit of a stubborn streak. So while he is always willing to help out, he may have his own opinions about how things should be done. And he will stick to them. Now, of course his father sent him to court the princess of Belanor, simply for the money and political power that could be gained from the union. Cale, however, has his own reasons for courting Princess Alyria, and his are genuine and honest, and only for the sake of love.

Dantalion, a demonic prince of Belanor with a darkened past. 22 years of age, Dantalion is polite and charismatic, but his life hasn’t really been quite as charmed as a prince’s should be. But of course, demonic politics are those of a separate realm, and so may not always be acknowledged by those living across the veil. Summoned by a warlock and bound to the man, forced to call him ‘master’, Dantalion has been wretchedly abused for years. Only recently was he finally able to escape, and he ran straight to the king, setting himself as a suitor to the princess, citing his own nobility as the prince he truly is, and if all goes well, the warlock who he is still bound to will be dealt with, and he can truly be free again.

Dezimir, a flirtatious Pennari from Roveska. 19 years of age, and very confident in himself. Not many know what a Pennari is, as they are only found in Roveska and some small islands off the coast of Kalein. They are unusual to say the least, and could even be mistaken for elves. Except.. for the tail. And the fact that they tend to be a little broader and even more lanky than elves. The species runs to tallness, and has one very particular trait that is genetic to the breed. Addiction. But not quite in the way anyone might think. Pennari are often more likely to be addicted to an activity, rather than substance. And Dezimir is no exception. His addiction is somewhat more lewd than he probably should ever admit in front of the king, but at least it boosts his confidence. And his flirtatious charisma. But everyone should be careful if he is forced to go too long without tending to that addiction.. Because he can, and will, turn dangerously feral and could cause serious harm, only by pure instinct and a genetic code in his very existence.

Eivan, the elder brother of the pair from Tesak. 21 years of age, Eivan is stubborn and has a very short temper. Also, it probably doesn’t help that he’s actually shorter than his younger brother. And the fact they’re both half-demons certainly doesn’t do him any favors either. Still, he would do everything in his power to protect his brother from any harm that may come to him. And the proof is in the prosthetic arm and leg he has, from an incident in which he defended his brother from being attacked by a monstrous beast. And now, in recent years, he and Alekai have been forced to flee their home, and they settled in Belanor, trying to start their lives over again. And now, hearing the call for suitors, they’ve realized there may be something they can do, for all those like them.

Elliot, the Doomwood mage of Belanor. Everyone knows Doomwood Forest is a place of nightmares, but the people who live there either had no choice, or they settled there to protect the rest of the kingdom. To keep the monsters at bay in the forest and prevent them from spreading across the rest of the kingdom. Elliot is one of those people. Training as a mage, he does what he can to keep the spectres and ghasts and undead, and all manner of monsters from leaving Doomwood. But he’s still training, only 18 years of age, and all he could do for now was to cast a barrier spell over his hometown, hoping that it’ll defend them, and keeping the monsters interested long enough that he can get help, and better training in the capital city. However, his plan was somewhat derailed as he developed a crush on the princess, and so now is among her suitors trying to win her affections.

Ferrin, the half-fae swordsman of Oslana. 19 years of age, Ferrin is not quite all he seems to be. At the surface, he is stubborn, blunt, and confident, even occasionally a bit too confident. But he does know when to back down and when to shut his mouth. He’s not the idiot he occasionally pretends to be, and he is loyal to those who earn it. He appears as a wandering swordsman, roaming the land with no ties to anyone. But that is far from his real story. Truth be told, Ferrin is actually a prince among Fae, but being that he was only half-blood, he was deemed unfit to ever inherit the throne, and was cast out, his memory of his heritage erased. He feels drawn to Princess Alyria, though, like she might have the answers to fill in the blanks he can’t remember.

Ferris, the boisterous Kaleini pirate of the high seas. 20 years of age, and already captain. Ferris started out as a cabin boy, and worked his way up the ranks faster than anyone had ever seen. And when the previous captain was lost to a sea monster attack, the crew was left without a leader. And they chose Ferris. Even men older than him who may have deserved the position in their own right, chose the wild and adventurous young man to lead them to glory. Which worked out for the better, seeing as he lost a leg in that same attack, now living with a prosthetic in its place. He’s been captain for four years now, and now he’s suitor to the princess, alongside two other members of his crew.

Garrick, the second-sighted scaredy-cat from Doomwood Forest. 20 years of age, Garrick has a gentle and kind heart and he’s even perhaps protective of those who need him to be, but he’s also so easily frightened that he may even burst into tears if he’s scared badly enough. Like Elliot and Arten, Garrick comes from Doomwood Forest, born in one of the two known towns in the woods. But he wasn’t born like the others. They can see the physical monsters, and perhaps they know of the rest. But Garrick can see it all. Spectres, ghasts, spirits and all other creatures otherwise unseen. As a young child, he watched his family get carried off by spectres and dragged deep into the woods, never to be heard from again, except for the occasional lingering screams. He has recently come to King Aldric for help, but was distracted as he found himself infatuated with the princess, and just seeing her made him forget his fear, if only for a while.

Geilver, the second son of a Belanorian lord. He was not the one who was intended to be suitor to the princess. His elder brother was the one their father would rather have sent, but as the elder of the two happened to be away on an overseas journey, Geilver was instead the one sent to court Princess Alyria. He is 21 years of age, and is actually rather overconfident, even perhaps to the point of mild narcissism. And he likes to talk, especially about himself. Still, underneath all of that bravado, is an uncertain young man who is deeply loyal to his brother and would like to see him home safely. His father sent him as a suitor for the politics of the affair, but Geilver just isn’t interested in that side of it.

Ifari, the mysterious fae of Ha’adan. His age is a mystery, and really all that is known is his species and his gender. Very few have even seen more than his eyes, his face usually covered by a cloth mask. He is actually the advisor to Prince Rukh, and followed him to this whole affair if only to keep the poor-tempered prince in check. But.. now he too has made his own decision to court the princess. And no one knows what reason he may have for it.

Karval, the foul-mouthed troll from Teris. 16 years of age and the youngest of all the suitors, Karval fled his home country and didn’t stop running until he collapsed in Belanor. His breed of troll is unique only to Teris, and they are hunted for sport, like they are no more than animals. Karval lost his parents to hunters at a young age, and was forced to survive on his own, dodging all manner of dangerous people and animals. He has had a few close calls though, and even he feels it’s a miracle he’s even alive today. Nursed back to health by a kind Belanorian duchess, she has more or less adopted him as her unofficial son, so to speak, and it was she who sent him to court the princess, telling him that if he can gain influence with the royal family, he may be able to use it to change the way things are for his people.

Kin, the devilishly clever kitsune mercenary from Koshima. 21 years of age, Kin is a mercenary who was hired by a lord in Belanor to guard his home and possessions. However, the lord thought little of him, and refused to pay Kin what the job was truly worth, instead only offering the barest of bare minimums. Offended by the man’s rudeness, a state no one should ever want a kitsune to be, Kin simply left the man to fend for himself, instead roaming the kingdom looking for work that would actually pay. When he heard of the call for suitors to the princess, he joined among them. For even if he isn’t chosen, he may still offer his services to protect the royal family.

Lowell, Belanor’s free-spirited bookkeeper. 19 years of age, and.. only technically a bookkeeper. Truthfully, he’s the old man’s apprentice, and he’s easily distracted from his real work. It’s that that led him to become a suitor to the princess, believing in his own charms to help win her over. However, his teacher almost didn’t allow him to do so, reminding him that their work was far more important. But, after some persuasion, they came to an agreement. If Lowell does not succeed in this endeavor, then he will return to his duties with renewed diligence and will never stray again.

Lyric, the patient and watchful nymph from Umai. 18 years of age, Lyric is a lotus nymph who grew up in the lotus ponds and the shade of their trees, in a monks’ temple in Umai. While he isn’t actually a monk, he enjoys their companionship and finds comfort in following their teachings, and joining them in meditation and prayer. They are his family, and he is their beloved lotus child. It was they who sent him on his worldly journey when he was of age, as all monks must do, and that was how he discovered the princess and her father’s call for suitors. But he has to be careful. As a nymph, he can’t venture too far from his source without risking his life, and so to travel, he carries a piece of home with him. A lotus seed, tucked carefully in his pocket. But he may die if that seed gets lost, so he needs to watch his possessions wisely.

Marius, the wild and aggressive avian Beast of Belanor’s shores. 21 years of age, Marius has a foul temper and an even fouler attitude. He’s not fond of most people, and usually minds his own business, acting as lookout around the shipyard and guarding Balthazar from harm. Together, the two of them fixed up the yard and made it livable, even perhaps functional as a proper cargo dock too. Except Marius’ attitude does tend to scare away potential customers. However, he has his reasons for being aggressive, though he won’t speak about it to anyone.

He was once a brawler in the arenas, enslaved in the underbelly of Belanor’s darker districts. He was forced to fight for his life, and was the reigning champion for quite a while before he was finally defeated, and tossed to the streets, left to die from his wounds. However, he was found by an old man called Magnus, who returned him back to proper health, and taught him how to work in the shipyard. But when Magnus was killed in an attack from raiders, the loss shattered Marius. He became foul-tempered and bitter, and he returned to the arenas with a renewed vengeance. But he wasn’t a slave this time. He was free to come and go. And he did leave after a while, only to return to the shipyard on a whim, and that is when he saw Balthazar, and made his own private oath to always protect him no matter what. So now he’s followed him all the way to become a suitor to the princess. Go figure.

Mikhael, Oslana’s feline farm boy. 22 years of age, Mikhael is generally friendly, though he can occasionally come across as rather forceful and aggressive, being rather loud on occasion and bearing a pretty bad temper. Sometimes that temper causes him to storm off in a fit of rage, especially if he has repeatedly failed at a task. He can be kind, however, and also has a great sense of humor. Which, actually helps considering his start in the world. Abandoned as an infant one stormy night, he spent the entire night in the rain, shivering and hungry, only to be found the next morning by a farmer and his wife. They quickly adopted the young feline Beast, and raised him as if he were their own. Now he’s a grown adult, and he does well in keeping pests out of the barn, and works hard to help his father tending the fields. But.. Well, he isn’t entirely sure how he ended up as a suitor to the princess of Belanor, but that isn’t to say he entirely minds.

Montague, the cursed son of a Belanorian lord. 17 years of age, Montague was probably not his father’s first choice to send as suitor to the princess. But, similar to Geilver’s situation, his older brother was not available as an option. So, the lord sent his unfortunately cursed son. Montague was cursed as a young child, after he managed to offend a witch living in the woods. Now, when he gets too excited or angry, or is incapacited and weak, Montague transforms into a river otter, and he has no control over doing so. Only time will tell how this will work out. But at least he’s a friendly sort.

Nathan, the feline member of Kalein’s pirate crew. 20 years of age, clever and quick on his feet, Nathan is never short of something to say, and he certainly puts on a show of confidence. Of course.. That confidence is mostly fake. He has been on the pirate ship he calls home since he was two years old, and has actually never set foot on land. This is uncharted territory now, and he has no idea what he’s doing. He just followed his captain, and may or may not have taken interest in the princess himself as well. But.. hopefully at least Ferris knows what he’s doing.

Niklaus, Roveska’s best kept secret. His age is a mystery at this point, even to him. But he is more than certainly a gentleman, polite and mostly keeping to himself, except to restlessly roam the halls at night. However, to those he does encounter in the night, and in the moments around dawn and dusk, he is charming and dignified. He became Princess Alyria’s choice of his own accord, and perhaps simply out of curiosity, but truth be told.. He hasn’t done this sort of thing in 200 years. Niklaus is a vampire, and one of the oldest still existing in Roveska. After a storm of raids on vampire castles, the slaughter of many by overconfident vampire hunters, Niklaus and a few others are now kept secret under the protection of the Roveski government. But.. Niklaus apparently no longer wants to stay in hiding.

Nora, the dragon bookworm from Teris. 18 years of age, and with quite a story to tell, Nora is one of only a few on the outside now that is privy to one of Teris’ darker secrets. While things may seem rather pleasant on the surface, at least if you aren’t a Terisian troll, underneath all that charm and political majesty, there are prison camps in Teris, where the Crowned Prince or.. someone who may simply look eerily like him, has been throwing all those who he disagrees with or simply dislikes. Until a few months ago, Nora was trapped in one of those camps, until he and three others managed to escape. The rest have gone into hiding, but Nora is looking for help. Setting himself as suitor to Belanor’s princess, this may be the most strategic opportunity to gain aid from Belanor.

Orson, the wild and untamed bear warrior of Belanor’s forests. 22 years of age, and barely more than a feral animal, Orson comes across unfortunately rather aggressive, pushing and generally being a rather physical individual, he is actually rather sweet and loving, but.. Well, he comes by it honestly. He was abandoned in the woods as an infant and expected to be eaten. However, instead of devouring the human child, a mother bear who had recently had her own cubs simply adopted him and raised him like her own. So Orson was raised in the woods by a bear, and as such is the case, he’s unfortunately rather disconnected with civilized society and is easily confused. No one is sure how he got the approval of the king, but having recently ventured into town, Orson has become suitor to the princess, largely due to an interest in learning human courtship, and curiosity about her as well.

Pallum, the winged loudmouth of Kalein’s plundering pirates. 18 years of age, Pallum generally comes across as a very angry bird. He has a quick temper, and he’s very loud and aggressive when he’s upset, but he can be calmed as easily as he’s angered. This little harpy has a lot to compensate for though, considering he’s a runt. As such is the case, many adult harpies in his clan tried to simply kill him, seeing him as useless because he was so small. However, Pallum survived every attempt on his life, until he was simply exiled instead. And that was how he made himself at home in the crow’s nest of a pirate ship, and quickly earned his place as the barrelman. And now that his captain and another member of the crew decided to court the princess of Belanor, that’s what he’s going to do too.

Pteryn, the littlest angel in Belanor. 17 years of age, and largely considered a runt among angels, he’s determined to prove all those who doubt him wrong. He’s stubborn, and a little bit naive, but he has a kind heart and is always willing to help. He is just as trained in combat as any other angel his age, even if they might have tried to stop him from training at all. And now he has pledged his life to King Aldric, in addition to becoming a suitor to the princess. All to prove himself just as strong as any other.

Rai, Oslana’s wandering warrior of the demon sword. He is 19 years of age, and he was human once.. But he has since become a demon of rage and hate. He comes across as cold and unfeeling at first, but he is actually surprisingly agreeable, and even friendly. Perhaps a little forceful with his friendliness, but it is only because most of his emotions have been suppressed by his sword. He gets easily frustrated, or angered. Most of what he can feel is anger in some form or another. Still, he is usually understanding if what aggravated him was an accident. But beware if he is intentionally crossed, for he will be on a very dangerous warpath.

He has been an orphan as long as he can remember, alongside his younger sister, and together the two of them struggled to survive on the streets. At least, until they were called before the Prime Minister. They hoped that perhaps they would be saved, and something would be done for the starving children in the streets. But they should not have hoped at all. His sister died only a few weeks later, and Rai barely made it out with his life, only to find his way to an old and long-forgotten battlefield.. Where he found the Azel Sword. He took hold of the weapon, and his life was forever changed as he was twisted and warped into something no longer human. He is out for blood now, vengeance for all wrongs that had been done to him. And yet.. Maybe Princess Alyria can soften this tormented soul.

Reiss, Kalein’s most stubborn half-fae. If anyone of these suitors could really be considered a wild child, it’s this 17-year-old. He comes across as rude and even inconsiderate, but truth be told, he doesn’t actually know much of human culture, as much as his family may have tried to teach him. He was orphaned at a young age, and was instead raised by the mountain trolls near Roswater. They tried their best to teach how humans live, and even about fae. But there wasn’t much they really knew either, so it was difficult for him to learn. Instead, he lives as the trolls do, hunting and foraging alongside them, even joining in the occasional playful wrestling match.

Recently though, he has set out from home to venture into the world and learn what he can. Or.. rather what he has interest in, which unfortunately isn’t much that would actually help him in the societies outside his home. But, due to a growing interest in Princess Alyria, perhaps there is some hope for him yet.

Rukh, the winged prince of Ha’adan. While his age is unknown, he has lived much of his life praised and practically worshipped. He is a very rare being himself, named for exactly what he is. A rukh. It is due to his existence being seen as a blessing, that he has known nothing but praise, and so he has turned out rather spoiled, and rude. No one has ever told him ‘no’, and so he has a bit of a foul temper whenever someone tries. Only one person has ever been able to get away with it, and that is his advisor, Ifari. And now, at the suggestion of Ifari, Rukh has left his home in order to learn more of the world, and in doing so, he has insistently set himself as one of Princess Alyria’s suitors.

Sadir, the silent warrior of the Ha’adani deserts. There isn’t much known about Sadir, not even his age. All that is known is that he is a half-demon, and he is a rather reclusive and elusive individual, even with all his curiosity. He typically keeps to himself and very rarely speaks, even when spoken to. He often comes across as somewhat gloomy or melancholy, but if asked, he won’t say much more than that those who come near him will only get hurt. Still, for whatever reason that is known only to him, he has come to play suitor to the princess.

Sindar, the charming Ha’adani sailor of the high seas. 23 years of age, and practically swimming in his own charisma, Sindar is the type of individual many young men dream they could be. He is a man of courage, of charm, and of independence. A free spirit living his life upon the seas, a new adventure has been brought to his attention, by a very particular tailor in the bazaars of Ha’adan. Now, he is a suitor to the princess and ready to sail those uncharted waters.

Sun, Umai’s most mischievous monkey. 19 years of age and ready to face the world, Sun is an energetic young monkey Beast with what he considers a great sense of humor, even if others may disagree. However, beneath his carefree attitude and his penchant for mischief is an anxious and stressed young monkey who would do anything to keep those he cares about safe. Though.. that may be on the more difficult side.

Sun was one of eight children and his life started out happy. Until their town was raided and he and his family were sold into slavery. He put up with years of abuse before he was given a chance to escape. He broke loose, but turned back to save his family too. However, his mother shooed him away, telling him to just run and not to worry about them. If one of them was free, that was all that mattered. So he ran. He ran as far as he could, only stopping to rest when he couldn’t bring himself to go any further. He became a brawler in a few underground arenas to train himself so that he may one day save his family. Now, he’s become a suitor to Princess Alyria, with the hope that she and her father may give him the help he needs.

Taeval, the last of Kalein’s oldest breed of dragons. 20 years of age, and the last of his kind, no one is quite sure where Taeval came from. He is a gentle soul, however, calm and respectful. He is always there to support those who need him, traveling only to learn what he needs to and to help where he is needed, before disappearing again to return somewhere else. However, now something has drawn him to become a suitor to Belanor’s princess, and no one is exactly sure what that might be.

Takhal, the prideful and spoiled Oracle from Ha’adan. 18 years of age, and somewhat of a spoiled brat, Takhal has been praised from his early years and onward, which has led him to be rather arrogant and even childish. He boasts about his accomplishments, and how powerful of an Oracle he is. But.. little does he know, he was kidnapped in infancy as part of a far greater plot. And underneath his bravado as well, is a scared and lonely child. But he saw Princess Alyria in a vision, and now has come to understand why.

Titian, a fierce Norland warrior with a dangerous curse. 21 years of age, and he is already as foul-tempered and bitter as an old man with too many bad memories. But there is a reason for the aggressive way he behaves. Titian is under a curse, and so is possessed by a spirit of anger, turning him into a Berseker. The only emotion he is allowed to feel much of is anger, and so he comes across fairly aggressive and rude.

But the truth is that he’s looking for someone. The man who raised him in place of the parents who bore him. After an attack on their hometown, by soldiers who claimed to be from Belanor, the only father Titian has ever known has disappeared. So now he has come to Belanor, both to seek out his father, and to get vengeance for the attack on his home.

Toris, the sweetheart of Oslana with a dark secret. 21 years of age, and generally rather shy and gentle, Toris seems utterly harmless, and for the most part he is. Except for one tiny detail. He has in fact killed a man. But of course, as with all good murder mysteries, there is more to the story. Toris was a slave for many years, shuffled from one lord to another and to another, and he had even just simply grown used to it. Or at least.. he thought he had. As his last master was dealing out punishment yet again, something inside Toris snapped, and he murdered the man in a fit of rage. Now he has fled to Belanor, and perhaps the princess can find a way to help him.

Vince, Princess Alyria’s oldest friend. 19 years of age, and another one who comes across somewhat aggressive, the truth is that Vince is lonely, and he has a lot of trouble expressing it. But it’s no wonder he is the way he is. His birth was an accident, and his aristocrat mother immediately decided she wanted nothing to do with the half-troll monstrosity she had given birth to. She ordered her servants to get rid of the infant, and they would have.. if they hadn’t fallen in love with him themselves. Still, they knew they couldn’t keep him, and so took him into the forest, giving him to a troll woman who was out foraging for berries.

She gladly took him and raised him as her own in the troll village that was her home. But, despite all the love she offered him, Vince knew he didn’t fit in there. He remained lonely and misplaced, even venturing to the edge of the forest to look upon the estate that belonged to the woman who had given birth to him. Several times when doing so, however, the woman caught sight of him and sent her hounds to chase him off, not even knowing that he was her son.

At some point while he was young, Vince happened to encounter Princess Alyria and her father, and the two have been friends ever since, ultimately growing up with each other. And now that he’s heard King Aldric calling for suitors for Alyria, Vince is determined to win the heart of the only one who ever made him feel like he truly belonged.

Warren, the changeling child that replaced a Belanorian lord’s son. 19 years of age, and a bit pushy and snappish, Warren is a tough nut to crack on occasion. He comes across as rude and self-centered, and is generally fairly difficult to get along with most of the time. But the truth is that he is deeply insecure and very sensitive to insults. While he was raised as the son of a Belanorian lord, the truth is that the real son of the lord was stolen as an infant, and replaced with the changeling child that is Warren.

However, Warren genuinely believes he is the lord’s son. He knows nothing about changelings, and the lord as well is unaware of what Warren is. As such is the case, when Warren’s form shifts even a little, it makes him panic and he believes it’s some strange disease that flares up from time to time. So, he mostly tries to ignore it, and now, of course, he has been sent to court the princess for the sake of politics.

Yukito, the lone warrior from Koshima. He is 21 years of age, and he generally comes across fairly moody and lonerish, even perhaps a little cold and unfriendly. But underneath it, he does actually genuinely care about others and would give his life to protect everyone around him. He is diligent and hard-working, and very loyal despite his grumpy attitude. Whatever drew him to court the princess of Belanor, though, is something only he knows.

Yuri, the Belanorian noble that grew up on the streets. 18 years of age, and fairly confident in himself and even a bit flirtatious, but.. could that be just a front he puts up? Nah, couldn’t be. Or.. could it? Yes, it is. The youngest in a family of ten kids, Yuri was mostly ignored as a child, and so developed a bit of a habit of showing off just for the attention. However, when he was about ten years old, his home was raided and his family scattered. He has no idea where any of them are now, and since then, he grew up mostly on the streets, learning to cheat, gamble, and steal to survive.

He’s been arrested several times for his thefts, somehow managing to talk his way out of most of his possible punishments. Still, he’s stolen a few too many things by now, and was set for execution. Except.. he was recently pardoned by the king, who saw that the young man still had some good in him, and had hope he could be rehabilitated. Now, Yuri has set himself as a suitor to the princess, hoping maybe she’s that rehabilitation the king wants from him.

Zoroaster, the mercenary from Teris. 20 years of age and highly trained with a sword, Zoroaster spent most of his life at sea. He hardly knew his own parents, and was instead raised by a crew of naval warriors from Norland. However, his ship was recently sunk by pirates, killing most of the men on board, and so he has lived ashore in Oslana for the past year. Training himself further in swordsmanship, he is now nearly unrivaled with a blade, and he has come to Belanor now, as suitor to the princess, and to offer his services in her protection.

Zuri, the naive Beast of Ha’adan. 21 years of age, and a member of a rare clan of Beasts known as Bengalit, Zuri is.. Well, he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, to put it lightly. He’s easily trusting of most people, despite what his best friend Sindar may tell him. He can of course defend himself if things turn out wrong, but he likes to look for the good in everyone, really. He trusts Sindar with his life as well, and will follow him to the ends of the earth, which.. is of course how he became a suitor to Princess Alyria as well.

#;; the word of a beast (jabber writes)#writing #romance #novel discussion #critique welcome #be prepared for the longest post ive ever written in my life #and i know who to blame #this took me twelve hours to write #and after that long of writing #you start to hate things about it #don't follow my example kids #just don't #you'll never want to write again

2 notes · View notes

teacupfulofstarshine · 5 years

Text

lamp!college!verse chatfic is up!

LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND ESTEEMED NONBINARIES OF THE COURT

I PRESENT TO YOU

aMERICA EXPLAIN -

this is a groupchat!fic set in my college au! it’s gonna exist only on ao3, not tumblr, but i’ll make tumblr posts when it updates and put my taglist on them so that people can read the new updates!!!

let me know what you think, and if you have any requests lmk!!!! i love you all!!!

(also shout out to @notveryglittery bc i asked her what to name the fic and she said that title at the same time i thought of it bc we are hive mind wives and i love her sm)

taglist below cut (if you wanna be added, pls send me an ask!)

@bunny222

@phlying-squirrel

@scorching-scotch

@accio-hufflepuff-power1

@ironwoman359

@ab-artist

@a-lexicon-of-words

@samathekittycat

@confinesofpersonalknowledge

@backatthebein

@princeanxious

@serious-ppl-wear-neckties

@ascreamingstrawberry

@thekeytohappiness-is-you

@smartestowlgirl

@silverrhayn

@221b-quote

@generalfandomfabulousness

@deverick-racoma

@dkg-racoma

@starryfirefliesbloggo

@justanotherpurplebutterfly

@minshinxx

@hpjkfgw

@pearls-of-patton

@couch-potato-1890

@isdisorigionalenoughforyou

@notveryglittery

@imantisocialgetoverit

@deamondisciple

@purplepatton

@iris-sanders-athena

@magicalmayhems

@fightingswedes

@chaosgaminggirl

@book-of-charlie

@anuninspiredpoet

@wicked-delights

@bleaktuber

@purpleshipper

@c4t1l1n4

@illiani

@maxiswriting

@cutie-whore

@magnificentme513

@no-life-no-problem

@sockpansy

@ocotopushugs

@mauvelavender

@hahanoiwont

@ravenclawunicorn1

@terriblietired

@nightmareelmst

@bread-potato

@gaygreekboi

@drawyoursword

@thebeautyofthomas

@anxiousangelvirgil

@greeneggsandham1998

@shesavampirequeen

@phangirlandkilljoy

@sortablue

@humorlover1233

@allycat31415

@fangirltothefullest

@ashrain5

@white-spirit-of-darkness

@rejectedathena

@hedgehoghumor

@gay-and-exhausted

@vir-gull

@romanthroughthestars

@savingshae

@daughterofsomnus

@unikornavenger

@awesomelissawho

@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2

@radioactivehelena

@ethospathoslogan

@anxietyisthebestme

@pinkeasteregg

@entpscarleharrrr

@a-snoway-afternoon

@it-is-i-music-note-anon

@tera-91

@thisismedamit

@indanegalaxy

@so-many-ships-i-have-a-fleet

@maybekatie

@forsakethegodsbeforetheydoyou

@areyousirius-noheisdead

@curlycutiekinz

@arandompasserby

@youllnevertaketheskyfromme

@shadowsoul357

@pandagirl0730

@bibbidi-bobbity-booyah

@kittycake574

@uh-r00d

@fall-chemically-atthedisco

@wolfiegamer2007

@phander-trash

@faithfulcat111

@fangsandrainbows

@redundant-statements-for-400

@adka2333

@theresneverenoughfandoms

@regen-cecilos

@pinkpandapancakes

@the-better-bard

@a-little-bit-of-ace

@bisexualellaphants

@echomist13

@pokeeevee100

@light-it-on-fire

@kaileah-kat

@thatonetuesdaywhensam

@savemefrompainfulagony

@flamingfawkes

@browniebri

@romanssippycup

@soft-transboy

@somehowsnakesblog

@lunareclipse-524

@wattysthebrokenangel

@saphael-malec102

@rieka-onyx

@booksgamesnetflix

@dragonheart905

@starrynightaurora

@dedaartist

@pattons-cardigans

@emilyinhernaturalhabitat

@dontbugmeimantisocial

@icantbeme71097

@derpiest-unicorn

@sirasanders

@tinkslittlebelle

@joyful-milkshake-observation

@redhoneysugarorange

@lunacatzuniverse

@itsausernamenotafobsong

@virgilcrofters

@cdragontogacotar

@wildheart49

@welp-im-undertale-trash

@randomrainbowslushy

@logical-but-anxious

@ebony-wolf

@morality-is-anxious-too

@angered-turtle

@shadowjag

@ihateitwhenyourejustvague

@punsterterry

@royallyroman

@rainfilledskies

@fandomsofrandom

@trust-me-i-just-get-weirder

@anxie-teaa

@moonfang03

@didnt-murder-anyone-yet

@hungry-red-panda

@holdyourbreathfornow

@forrestwyrm

@thefluffypuppyishere

@oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall

@statsvitenskap

@yty-is-a-gfeat

@wit-is-wisdom

@siren-art

@anxietyisthebestme

@randomfanderfriend

@kittengiggles-puppysnuffles

@a-saltine-in-trying-times

@queer-human-being

@thatpinkpony59

@i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing

@breloomings

@noneed4thistbh

@kikirwheeler

@the-gayest-one-of-them-all

@thegoofyseadragon

@fantasyandfairfolk

@trashysugarbaby

@bassacaglia

@justanormalfoot

@alkimara

@apologetically-anxious

@stardustedsweaterlover

@punkassplonker

@wicked-universe

@maya-tl

@magicalmayhems

@lockolocka

@whyme-tho

@starbuckssippinson

@imnotcrazy-i-swaer

@jemthebookworm

@witchybitchylesbean

@blocksavage1776

@luckybanana948

@why-should-i-tell-youu

@wouldthehill

@pheasantjj

@themainhome

@cats-vetal-miking-vomit

@merlybird500

@error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong

@bangthekobrakid

@absoluteturnip

@dragonwitch20

@goofypersona

@anyay666

@teethietoothies

@smokeyrutilequartz

@i-really-dig-the-purple

@thinniewhinnie

@cieltheanon

@alotofstupidstuff

@impossiblepentagon

@sandersidestrash1

@suspicious-sweaters

@asymmetricalgarbage8888

@lollife

@insanegoldie2

@daring-elm

@why-should-i-tell-youu2

@paperghastly

@theunoriginaldaisy

@emocatholic

@the5thcoy

@apologetically-anxious

@radioactivehelena

@llamaly

@cloudedskies29

@riley-castillo

@nonbinarybullshit

@aleicim

@asymmetricalgarbage8888

@analogical-mess

@smolbeanchildofdeath

@sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet

@opaque-puppet

@shootingace

#starshineposts #LAMP/CALM #polyamsanders #lamp!college!verse #america explain -#i'm so excited for this you guys #i hope you like it!!!!#<3<3<3<3

100 notes · View notes

umbrahighpriestofgiratina · 5 years

Text

Greenhorn Prometheus Chapter 3 - FINALE

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Here's the final installment of these mad science shenanigans. Hope you enjoy. Chapter 3: Breakaway

The next morning, in a quiet backyard, a young girl was picking flowers, singing quietly to herself. Suddenly a tall shadow loomed over her. ~Mmmmmmm.~ --------------- Within the house the backyard belonged to, a man was boarding up the windows. "If a monster is loose, the boards have to be tight," he said. He turned to his wife. "Good thing you put Sadie to bed." "But I was ironing clothes!" said the wife. "I asked you to put her to bed!" The two just kind of. Stared at each other. As people are wont to do when they make a mutual huge mistake. ------ The Mewtwo was now gently picking flowers with the girl, albeit with her psychic powers rather than her fingers. The two started picking petals off and dropping them in a well. "Now blow a kiss and say bye-bye!" said the girl. The Mewtwo pantomimed a kiss and dropped a flower stem down the well. "All gone!" said the girl. "Now what do we throw in?" The Mewtwo looked at the girl. Then at the well. Then presumably somehow in the direction of this very narrator. -------------- The wife and husband were now panicking. "She must have been in the bathroom," said the husband. "But I didn't look upstairs!" said the wife. "I thought you did!" "You didn't... look... upstairs..." The two immediately rushed up. -------------- The little girl and the Mewtwo were now at a seesaw. "Sit down!" said the girl, on one end of the seesaw. The Mewtwo pawed at the seesaw. "Sit. Down!" said the girl again. The Mewtwo plonked down onto the seesaw with tremendous force, flinging the girl upward, through an open window, and onto her bed. Her parents entered the room and gave a mutual sigh of relief. ----------------- In a small house on Kanto Route 16, a certain Mr. Dazzling was alone, in a corner, pondering. "A visitor is all I ask... A temporary companion to help me pass a few short hours in my lonely life." The door was promptly bust down by a certain Mewtwo. ~Aaagh!~ "Oh! Thank you, Mew, thank you!" He wandered over to the door to greet the Mewtwo. "What sort of Pokemon are you?" he said. "...I forget. I'm Mr. Dazzling, what's your name?" ~Mmmmmm.~ "I didn't get that." ~Mmmmmmm.~ "Forgive me, I didn't realize you were mute... But how does a nice bowl of soup sound to you?" ~Mmmmmmmmm.~ Mr. Dazzling led the Mewtwo over to a table. "I know how it feels to be cold and lonely and in need of a helping hand. Here's your soup!" He poured a ladle of hot soup straight into the Mewtwo's lap, causing her to let out a psychic yell. "...Whoops," said Mr. Dazzling, "forgot the bowl." He quickly fetches a bottle of wine, which the Mewtwo was careful to pour herself. As she was about to drink it, however, Mr. Dazzling interrupted her. "Wait! A toast... To friendship." The metal cup he was holding instantly shattered the Mewtwo's wine glass upon a forceful toast, causing the Mewtwo to stare in shock. "Whoopsie. I'll clean that up..." As he bent over however, he knocked over several candles on the table, causing them to fall right onto Mewtwo. This sent the Mewtwo into a panic, causing her to let out a psychic yell, bust another door down, and flee. "Wait!" said Mr. Dazzling. "Don't go! I was gonna make espresso!" ---------------- Alone, the Mewtwo wandered the dark streets, letting out psychic moans of discontent. Suddenly, however, she heard music. Familiar music. Sweet, sweet music. She followed it, drifted toward it, until she reached a man in baggy clothing and a hat playing a violin. She drifted idly in front of him, pawing the air, until the man yelled. "The sedative! Now!" The Mewtwo was suddenly hit by a psychically-propelled dart. Before she could react, she slumped down with a thud... landing directly on Colress. "She's out!" said the man, revealing himself to be Silver. "Oog... Believe me, I can tell," said Colress. ------- Back in the lab, the Mewtwo was fast asleep in a room. Waiting outside were Silver, Sabrina, Colress, and Agatha. "What are we going to do?" said Colress. Silver sighed. "I've got to go in there." ~And get yourself killed?~ said Sabrina. "Don't you understand?" said Silver with a scowl. "She's afraid. If I can make her less afraid maybe we can get somewhere." He turned to the others. "No matter how much I beg and scream, don't let me out of there." ~You mean the old movie cliche that never works?~ said Sabrina, "...Yes but I mean it." said Silver. "Good luck dear," said Agatha. "Nice working with you," said Colress. Silver entered the room. Agatha locked the door. Silver approached the sleeping Mewtwo, shaking. He stopped as the Mewtwo's eyes snapped open. He bolted for the door as the Mewtwo's eyes glowed and she sat up with a psychic scream. "Let me out let me out pretty please with a Cheri Berry on top." The Mewtwo began floating over her bed, glowing eyes locked on Silver. Silver rattled the doorknob. "What the hell guys I was being sarcastic earlier of course I don't buy into that cliche now let me the fuck out." The Mewtwo floated closer. On the other side of the door Colress moved to open it only to be blocked by Agatha. Sabrina had somehow procured a bucket of popcorn. "Open the motherfucking door or I'll let this Mewtwo explode your brains too!" The Mewtwo was almost upon him. "...Damn it." The Mewtwo loomed above him, eyes like tiny purple suns. "...Wait." said Silver. "I know why you're mad. I'm sorry." The Mewtwo's eyes stopped glowing. She gave an inquisitive headtilt. "We... We didn't treat you right. And... And that's not right because... Because we're like your parents. And I'm like your dad. And I had a shitty dad and I don't want to perpetuate the cycle, you know? So... Yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything." He sat down and put his head in his hands. The Mewtwo paused, eyed Silver inquisitively, before letting out a psychic purr and resting her head in Silver's lap. Silver uncovered his face and looked at her in awe. "I... I did it. I got through to her!" A strange look crossed his face. "Heh... I really did show up my old man... I created a beast that can do good!" ~Silver? Silver Altimira are you OK in there?~ said Sabrina. "It's not Altimira!" said Silver. "It's Altamura!" ------------- The night after, in a Viridian theatre, a show was about to start. Looker was in the audience, watching, waiting. Eventually a man with slicked-back hair and a red suit walked up on the stage, to much applause. "Ladies and gentlemen, nonbinary pals, tonight it is my, Mr. Contesta's, great privilege of introducing to you... A man whose family name was once both famous and infamous! I give you... Dr. Silver Altamura!" Silver walked onstage. There was no applause. "My fellow scientists!" There was a hiss. "I used to believe in stern scientific rules, much like the rest of you... But I found a way to go further beyond. Me and some associates rediscovered a particular way to reconfigure a Mew's genome." The crowd gave some hushed gasps and mutters. "Ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary pals may I present, for your intellectual and philosophical pleasure... Mewtwo TWO!" The curtains opened and the Mewtwo floated onto the stage. The crowd started panicking. "Wait, wait!" said Silver. "I've got her under control." He turned to the Mewtwo. "Walk!" The Mewtwo landed on the ground and walked forward with her feet. The crowd gasped. "Now backward!" The Mewtwo complied. "As you can see," said Silver. "She's still learning the basics. But once she does..." Colress came on stage and opened a device that projected a holographic image of the Mewtwo doing various tasks. "Her phenomenal psychic powers will allow her to do a variety of beneficial tasks." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo scanning a person's brain. "Detecting Alzheimer's and tumors..." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo levitating steel beams as people and Pokemon watched. "Helping with major construction projects..." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo evacuating a burning building. "And search and rescue! And there's doubtlessly countless mo-" It was then the Mewtwo noticed the fire in the hologram. She let out a psychic scream and threw an Aura Sphere at the hologram, which sailed onward as it crashed into the back of the theatre. Colress ducked as the crowd started screaming. "W-wait!" said Silver. "She just needs to be restabilized is a-" He was knocked down by a Psystrike as the Mewtwo roared telekinetically, hurling blasts of Psychic energy everywhere until a tranq dart hit her and caused her to slump over to the ground, unconscious. ---------- When the Mewtwo came to, she was locked in an Interpol containment unit. She could see people outside, watching warily. She did nothing. She could do nothing. ----------- Back at the lab, Silver was moping, as he is wont to do, Sabrina by his side. "I failed her... Lugia damn it I failed her." ~Maybe you shouldn't have shown her off while she was still unstable.~ "I thought she was stable! But it seems there's only one way to make her so..." ~And that would be?~ "DNA transfusion. If I can transfer the right genes to cope for the damaged Mew DNA... It'd take a dangerous amount of body fluids but it could work." ~But... If I'm reading this right that could kill you. I don't think that's necessary.~ "It's worth the risk." ~Alright, it's just...~ she sighed. "What is it?" "You know how I mentioned the Black Fog incident?" ~Yeah?~ ~The Black Fog is a notorious killer Haunter. Attacked me when I was a child. Killed some of my Pokemon. I was withdrawn and hostile for years since. Took meeting a much kinder Haunter to snap me out of it. But even since... I don't like losing people. I don't think you're that bad that I'd want to be rid of you forever.~ "I... I see. Thank you. I guess." ~Be careful OK?~ It was then that Agatha entered the room. "Silver! Your phone is buzzing!" Silver checked the phone once Agatha handed it to him. "...Oh shit. Kris is coming any minute!" ------------- At the door to the estate, Silver, Sabrina, and Colress stood as Kris walked up to them. "Kris!" said Silver. "You found us!" "Are you surprised?" said Kris, smirking. "And I see you've made some friends. I recognise Sabrina but who's the other guy?" "Colress, Pokemon power researcher, at your service!" "Charmed," said Kris. "What exactly are you guys doing here?" "Science!" said Colress. "Like we-" "Yes, science, but only mundane stuff," said Silver. "Can we take your bags?" ~On it,~ said Sabrina. The bags hovered in. Kris raised an eyebrow and followed them in. ---------------- The Mewtwo was still alone in her containment unit. Quiet. Seething. Until she heard a voice. "Humans are awful, aren't they?" The Mewtwo's head cocked, her psychic powers trying to scan for the source of the voice. "Oh don't worry about me. I'm here to help!" The containment pod started to open up. The Mewtwo looked around in confusion until the pod fully opened and she could see a strange, lanky human in skimpy clothing with long hair and glowing green eyes. "Don't mind the disguise, I needed it to get in here. Rest assured I'm not one of them. But hey you're free now!" The Mewtwo stared at the new visitor oddly. "In return for me freeing you... Get some revenge on those humans for me, okay? Benefits both me and you." The Mewtwo clenched her fists. "Good girl! Now let them have it." The Mewtwo flew up and busted through the ceiling as her visitor looked on and grinned. --------------- In Viridian City, a mob was forming. Crowds of people with torches and pitchforks and knives and cattle prods and all that had gathered in front of the town hall, yelling and chanting. Eventually Looker came out to address them. "Now hold on," said Looker. "Are you all sure this is a good idea?" Unfortunately he still had a cold. "What did he say?" said a townsperson. "I think he said this was a good idea!" said another. "Alright chums then let's do this!" said a third. They all stormed off. Looker sighed and headed after. -------------- Kris and Silver were busy unpacking her bags when Kris checked her phone. "Oh dear... Apparently there's a second Mewtwo on the loose." Silver froze. "Hold on, I'm trying to see who created the thi-" Silver grabbed the phone. "I already know, it was a Rocket remnant group." "...Really?" "Yeah! One that's really good with genetics!" Kris rolled her eyes. "Those assholes don't know when to quit." "Yeah, they sure don't," said Silver, sweating. "Have you noticed it's unusually hot in here?" "I kinda have actually," said Kris. "I think I'm gonna go on a walk." "Have fun!" said Silver. Once Kris left Silver slumped onto a chair and groaned. --------- Outside the estate, off in the woods, Kris wandered down a path, her Typhlosion at her side. Suddenly the Typhlosion's ears perked up and his back stiffened. "What is it, Jet?" she said. Suddenly a chill ran down her own spine as the Mewtwo emerged from the trees. "Jet! Flamethrower now!" Jet launched a Flamethrower in the direction of the Mewtwo. It barely phased her as she launched a Psystrike back, slamming Jet into a tree. Jet growled. "Thunderpunch!" said Kris. Jet roared and lunged at the Mewtwo with an electrified paw, only to be stopped by a barrier and sent sprawling by an Aura Sphere, unconscious. Kris quickly recalled her. "Okay, new plan... Raphael, it's on you!" She sent out a Togekiss, who chirped in shock at the sight of the Mewtwo. "Hit it into submission! Air Slash!" Raphael launched a blade of air at the Mewtwo, causing her to flinch and not move. "Again!" Raphael did it again, but this time the Mewtwo's eyes glowed and a powerful Psychic blast knocked the Togetic down to earth, unconscious. "G-Go Slice!" A Scizor was sent out, who looked at the Mewtwo, then back at Kris, then back at the Mewtwo before giving Kris a "really" look. Kris sighed. "Only one thing to do... Tactical retreat!" Kris and Slice ran. The Mewtwo zoomed after... And promptly stopped when music echoed through the air. "What..." Slice shrugged. The Mewtwo drifted in a trance toward the source of the noise. Kris and Slice followed. ------------------- At the estate, on the rooftop, Silver was playing an electric violin hooked up to some very large loudspeakers, maintained by Colress and watched by Sabrina. ~Are we sure this will work?~ said Sabrina. "It's worth a shot," said Silver, still playing. "Look!" said Colress. "She's coming back!" Indeed the Mewtwo was drifting out of the woods toward them, pawing the air and mewling psychically. "Yes, that's a girl... Come back, come back..." The Mewtwo floated over to Silver, looking at him with big wide eyes. "Yes... Relax..." The Mewtwo rested her head in her lap and purred. "We've done i-" He looked over the balcony to see Kris looking up at him in utter bewilderment. "...Oh." -------------- Back in the lab, the Mewtwo was strapped to a table. Colress and Sabrina were making preparations while Kris and Silver were arguing. "You made this thing?!" said Kris. "I wanted to use this old science for good! I didn't know it'd turn out like... Like this!" "You should have!" "I know!" "And now what are you doing?" "Using my body to do a DNA transfer." "When it could kill you both?" "Yes." "Fuck... Silver, what am I going to do with you?" ~I wonder the same thing,~ said Sabrina. "It's... It's the only way I can save her," said Silver. "All... Alright," said Kris. "Just... take care." "I will," said Silver. "Everything's ready!" said Colress. Silver sighed and strapped himself into a table next to the Mewtwo, a device connecting both their heads. Colress flipped a switch and electricity started crackling. Silver drifted into unconsciousness. "Okay, we'll need exactly fifteen minutes," said Colress. "No more, no less." The trio waited. "Two minutes." More waiting. "30 secon-" It was then the angry mob burst in the room, yelling and smashing everything they could. "Wait! No!" said Kris. ~All of you shut up we still need time!~ said Sabrina. Too late. They had unplugged Silver. They were getting ready to carry him off. ~Put that human down!~ said a feminine voice. The crowd turned. The Mewtwo rose from her table. ~I said, put that human down.~ The mob did. The Mewtwo floated to her feet, looking down at the crowd. Looker pushed his way through the others. "What is going on here?" said Looker. ~I am Mewtwo Two. I seek a more befitting name but that is what you can call me for now.~ "I see that," said Looker. Agatha peeked in the lab to look on. ~As long as I can remember, humans have hated me,~ said Mewtwo Two. ~They looked at my face and body and ran away in horror. In my loneliness I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my dearest hope, I would instead cause fear.~ She looked at the unconscious Silver affectionately. ~And yet I live because this poor half-crazed genius has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful. And then when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger he used his own body as a sacrifice to give me more stable DNA and a more stable mind.~ "Well then!" said Looker. "It seems like you won't be a problem for these folks. Good to know you're a friendly sort." Looker offered a handshake. Mewtwo Two returned it in kind. The crowd cheered. Agatha wiped away tears. "Oh Mary Louise..." ~Thank you,~ said Mewtwo Two. "You are entirely welcome," said Looker. He looked to Silver. "What about him?" It was that moment that Silver started opening his eyes. "Trashy... Man... Huh?" he opened his eyes fully. "...Did... Did we do it?" ~Yes,~ said Sabrina. ~We did.~ Silver staggered to his feet, having to be supported by Colress, and looked up at Mewtwo Two. "How are you doing?" Mewtwo Two smiled. ~Very well. Thanks dad.~ Silver smiled back. *** Epilogue Kris gazed over the bow of the cruise ship she was on, her Typhlosion looking out with her over the waves. Soon Sabrina, and Colress joined her. "Glad you guys could join me for this vacation." ~Trust me we needed it after all that,~ said Sabrina. "The fun doesn't stop for me!" said Colress. "After this I'm heading to Alola! Designed a labcoat for the hot weather even. I've got a big client there too..." "Sounds like fun. I know Red and his buddy Blue started a thing in Alola." She frowned. "Too bad Silver couldn't come... He said he had something to take care of." -------------- Blaine and Mewtwo One were standing together on the beach south of Fuschia, waiting. It was then Silver and Mewtwo Two arrived and Mewtwo One's eyes widened in shock. "Uh, hey! Mewtwo One, I know you're just back from Rhyme City and Ferrum and all that but... you have a sister! Or niece. I dunno." The two Mewtwo looked at each other, touched hands, sized each other up, then locked eyes and stared at each other in complete silence. "...What are they doing?" said Silver. "Having a mental conversation!" said Blaine. "It's a common Psychic-type thing." "Er yeah, right." said Silver. "But I thought it'd be good for them to meet." "You thought right kid," said Blane. He raised an eyebrow at Silver. "Say, you said you did a DNA transfer to stabilize her. Any side effects? "Well. aside from the empathic connection," said Silver, "a weird draw to certain types of music and also... Pyrophobia." It was at that point Blaine's Rapidash popped out of one of Blaine's Pokeballs and gave a neigh of greeting at Silver. At the sight of the Rapidash's fiery mane Silver screamed and ran off. Blaine just laughed. ------------- In a dark cave - though not THE Dark Cave, something squirmed. "Me damn it! It didn't work! But I have plans, other plans... I just need to pull all the right strings... Those two Mewtwo can still be of use." ----------------------- Agatha was relaxing with a cup of tea when there was a knock at the door. She got up to open it and gasped at the person on the other side. "Mary Lou!" "Please, call me Madame Boss, we're professionals. I heard my brat grandson finally did it." "He did! And I helped." "That's my girl." Madame Boss leaned over and kissed Agatha. Agatha swooned. The End Whew! This whole shebang has been a long time in the making. I originally conceived of this story a few years ago brainstorming how I could justify the existence of the infamous "femtwo" from the 16th Pokemon movie and some way, somehow, Young Frankenstein got thrown into the mix. I knew I had to do it on Halloween, but it took a while because I needed Splice Of Life to happen first and after that I needed a good block of time to just... write this ahead of time. But I did, and now it's all out in the wild. ...Which means I get to move on to another project. It's a bit of a silly symphony with a bit of mystery to it if I do say so myself. You'll see it tomorrow.

#pokemon #young frankenstein #halloween #greenhorn prometheus

5 notes · View notes

joisbishmyoga · 6 years

Text

Here's another something frightening about Harry Potter. (I have so many of those headcanons that Hogwarts is terrifying.)

Justin Finch-Fletchley was going to go to Eton. Hermione Granger is, well, Hermione Granger, if her parents were going to send her off to boarding school they'd have sent her to, like, wherever gets her into Oxford by age 15. And yet they go to Hogwarts. HOGWARTS. Some school they've never heard of, where they aren't going to be educated with royalty and nobility and diplomats' kids, or be on track for their first doctorate by 25, or anything. Hogwarts doesn't have math, or foreign languages, or even literature. What kind of school doesn't teach literature, Muggle parents ask? (And ask, and ask, so many questions, so much ignorant disapproval and distrust about a perfectly normal and clearly objectively better education, how very frustrating!)

And what do good wizards do when faced with Muggles frustrating them?

Well, you can't Obliviate Muggleborn parents. They do need to remember Hogwarts exists so they can send their child there. But Confunding them, now... that's just sensible. And bonus, it makes all refusals and need for in-depth explanations stop.

Now, personally I think that the acceptance letters arrive in the third week of June, period. But fandom likes to go with arriving on the eleventh birthday (or a week before, since that's when Harry's actually started to arrive), so let's go with that. Hermione Granger is the oldest of her year. She gets her Hogwarts letter barely halfway through September in 5th grade, or whatever the last year of elementary is called in England.

See above for what happens next. Because Hermione's parents Have Questions, and the Hogwarts representative -- even if it's McGonagall, okay, because refusal to send a child to magical school just doesn't compute for any magical person -- eventually has to Confund them to get their agreement.

Even if Hermione doesn't witness this, and why would she not I have to ask, she has literal months to ask her parents all the zillion questions she would have by nature about her schooling. First and foremost with, "but weren't you going to send me to [accelerated prestigious school]?"

Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary peeps, I present to you: a Hermione Granger who discovers her parents have been Confunded, months before starting Hogwarts. She's getting the kind of super-creep vibes of pod people or Stepford wives on this one topic, always the same kind of vaguely-intoned sentence, "you're going to Hogwarts, dear, where you get to learn magic", and with magic a proven fact there is clearly only one conclusion to come to.

Hermione Granger's trust in authority is broken. So now we have a Hermione Granger with the brakes off.

(You may take a moment to shiver in mortal terror. You are much more sensible than the wizarding world, after all.)

Pushing isn't working on her parents. The magicals are a threat, they've already hurt her family. It's time to get sneaky.

Dear Professor Hogwarts Person, I am so so so excited to come to Hogwarts and learn magic! I really want to learn everything! Can I get books to read beforehand? Can I meet my future magical classmates? The ones in the normal world like me, I mean, I'm sure there are kids with witch parents who have told them lots already and wouldn't understand how new it all is to us. I wouldn't want to bother you of course, an address list would be fine, I am just SO SUPER EXCITED about MAGIC! Sincerely, Hermione Granger, age 11

Now, Hogwarts has some serious failures with privacy policies (see: Rita Skeeter netting zero reaction from the school in GoF) or giving a damn about Muggleborn rights, so she gets the address list and a book catalog with Gringotts currency conversion, orders everything that looks even halfway relevant and doesn't have an age restriction on it, and starts visiting other Muggleborns.

Did they get your parents too? We can't trust this. I've read about a lot more things than stranger danger and this has all the signs of a cult. We can't get out of it, they've already come after our parents, but if we try to go it alone we'll probably get brainwashed even knowing what's happening. We have to band together.

La Resistance is born. All the Muggleborns of Hermione's year are in it. They plot strategy, they pre-Sort themselves based on Hermione's reading -- Hermione is a shoo-in for Ravenclaw, they can't hide her intelligence but they can hide her determination, right? -- they set themselves up in smaller House cells so they can hold meetings and pass information around without having to get together in large noticeable groups. They're scared stiff but they got this.

And then Hermione discovers Harry on the train. He's Muggle-raised and no one knew. He's the biggest target for the brainwashing, and by everything Hermione's read he's being groomed as a sacrificial war figurehead for the front lines, and he's clueless. THIS WILL NOT STAND.

Harry: But... but Ron was nice... are you saying he's out to get me? Hermione: Harry, no, of course not. He was raised in the system, he doesn't know anything's wrong. No one had to hurt his parents to get him in the school. Harry: Then shouldn't he know? Hermione: ..... Maybe. We'll discuss it. (The debate about including halfbloods and purebloods rages for months. They need to get the idea out that wizarding society is not okay, get allies for the future, but they also need to protect themselves.)

Hermione: A broom and the Seeker position? They aren't even trying to be subtle! Harry: I know, isn't it stupid? Hermione: What are you going to do? Harry: Well I'm going to take it, of course. Don't want them getting suspicious.

When Harry gets no letters over summer break, he clings to the idea that social isolation is a thing cults do. Dobby's visit and return of the letters just proves that Hermione is 10000% right.

Harry is not ostracized by the Muggleborns in any year. Not after losing a ridiculous number of points for the dragon in first, not after the Heir of Slytherin, not after the Goblet of Fire... none of it. The cult is so clearly trying to get Potter. They will not abandon him to that.

La Resistance actually never does anything to Draco. They want to, ohhhh do they want to, but he is far too useful as a loudmouth barometer of what wizarding society really thinks.

578 notes · View notes

tooangrymustinternet · 5 years

Text

For my cisgender friends, followers, and allies:

This is a long post. It's long because what I need you all to understand is complicated and nuanced, so it cannot be summarized in a short post if I want you to actually understand. Please bear with me, and please read the whole thing if you can, as I will consider that an act of love, allyship, and/or community. (Skip the glossary if you don't need it of course.) ____________________ Glossary of Terms in this Post

♡ Binarism (noun) - This is a specific form of sexism and transphobia that elevates binary genders (men and women) above all others. As of this posting, binarism is currently so pervasive that most people don't realize they are participating in it.

♡ Binary [genders] (adj) - This term refers to men and to women, regardless of cis or trans.

♡ Cis/Cisgender (adj) - Cis is a shortening of cisgender (sometimes written as cis gender). Cisgender people are people whose gender identity, sex assigned at birth, gender presentation, and chosen/performed gender role all line up in one neat little package. Mainstream western culture likes to pretend that all people are cisgender.

♡ Nonbinary (adj) - This term refers to the entire category of people who are not strictly 100% men or 100% women. Sometimes it refers to people who are somewhere between the two; sometimes it refers to people who are totally off of that spectrum and have genders entirely separate from it; there are a lot of possibilities, but the bottom line is that this is a category of genders which intersects with the word "transgender" like a Venn diagram.

♡ Segender (adj) - This term refers to someone whose gender is not recognized within their own culture. It is not a specific gender, but rather describes the state of a person's gender just like "cisgender" and "transgender" are not specific genders. In Western cultures, many people of nonbinary genders are segender. Other cultures are more likely to recognize one or more nonbinary gender.

♡ Sexism (noun) - prejudice, stereotyping, and/or discrimination in thought or action, on the basis of either sex or gender. Sexism is, as most people reading this know, highly pervasive. Our society is actively working to correct this.

♡ Trans/Transgender (adj) - Trans is a shortening of transgender (sometimes written as trans gender). Transgender people are people whose gender identities do not match the gender assigned to them at birth. This is a loose term; there are people who technically fit this definition but do not identify as cis or trans.

♡ Transphobia (noun) - a form of sexism which raises cis people and/or harms trans people. Transphobia is pervasive, but as of this posting, it is finally being talked about a lot more so things finally have a chance to start getting better. ____________________ PART ONE: Pervasiveness of Binarism

Binarism is pervasive in our culture. The idea that everyone is either a man or a woman is simultaneously false, and something our culture has steeped itself in. From binary check boxes on dating apps and doctor intake forms, to binary restrooms, to phrases like "Ladies and gentlemen," or "boys and girls," the concept that other people exist too has been purged from our cultural collection of colloquialisms, constructs, and more.

This means that the number of segender genders here is pretty darn high. It also means that binarism is one of the most common forms of transphobia. And that, my dear friends and community members who have decided to read this essay, is the first main point I need you to understand or the rest of what I have to say in this won't make sense. Binarism is a specific form of erasure and bias related so strongly to transphobia and sexism that a lot of people refer to it as a subset of those things. It is the erasure of the existence of nonbinary people like me to the point of not being able to safely use dating apps or public restrooms because they don't exist for us. And that's just the built environment; I haven't even begun to touch on being treated with respect by the people we interact with, in a culture where strangers will almost certainly never get our genders right.

Right now, as I write this, I can't handle talking about how afraid I am of gender-based violence and murder or the very real reasons I have for those fears, so I am going to skip that part.

I don't think I know how to describe the sheer depth and breadth of binarism people like me deal with on a daily basis, so I ask that you consider that it is similar to any other form of sexism in that it happens All The Time. Every time I want to use the bathroom at work, I have to walk to a different building because the restrooms are segregated and none of the ones for people like me are available in my building. Exactly once in my life, a stranger assumed the correct gender for me. The rest of the time, it's a day-long mix of Sirs and Ma'ams from well-meaning people who I know are trying to be polite despite their massive failures at it. There's a lot more, but I want to move on to my next point. Just know that binarism hurts me and others like me several times per day. That's just life for people like me in western cultures. Sucks to be segender in that sense. ____________________ PART TWO: On Being Silent

I work 2 jobs, both in academia. I commute with a mixture of car, bus, train, and walking on most days. This means I run into a lot of people. Almost every time I do, gender comes up in a bad way due to the pervasive nature of binarism. When this happens, I have a variety of choices.

Do I correct and educate the person? Do I stay silent? Do I just sort of laugh and make a joke about it in what is often a vain hope that they'll realize it's actually a softened callout? The answer varies dramatically in terms of the situation, my mood, and my energy level.

I often stay silent with these one on one encounters simply because I don't have the energy to deal with it. Yet, every time I do that, I find myself kicking myself for it mentally for hours after the encounter. Why? I have had some variation of this conversation countless times:

Me: **attempts to educate**

Person: "My friend is trans and I said this in front of them, and they didn't mind, so I don't get what your problem is."

Me: "Your trans friend said this was okay?"

Person: "No, but they didn't say anything, so they don't have a problem with it."

Trans people often say nothing. Some of us have these education conversations several times per day, some of us opt to never have them. Different people find different things stressful, so some trans or nonbinary people are more likely to ask strangers to change transphobic or binarist behavior than people they know well, while others are more likely to have that conversation with friends than with strangers. But in just about all cases, it takes energy. That energy is not always there, and it's not uncommon for someone to have already reached their quota for these kinds of conversations for the day before you do or say something transphobic or binarist in front of them without even realizing it.

Someone staying silent in front of you does not mean that what you did is acceptable. ____________________ PART THREE: On Speaking Up

Everyone is different, but I know that for me, I'm far more likely to speak up in a group setting than I am in a one on one setting. This is for a variety reasons that go well beyond the simple fact that it is also simply less frightening and stressful to me personally. These other reasons culminate in the end result of a lot less work for myself and others like me.

If someone does something transphobic or binarist and I stay silent, as I have shown above, I know they will think that I think their action is just fine and may even use my silence to justify their actions to others when called out later on the same thing. This is (obviously) damaging to the entire goal of reducing the ambient levels of transphobia and binarism, but it becomes far more so when this happens in a group setting. An entire group relearns the wrong cultural lesson when transphobia and binarism go unchecked. Instead, I say something, and that way the entire group can learn together. Because it is absolutely a learning process.

This goes well in spaces where accountability and intentional reduction of social harms is part of the norm. In these spaces, things like "hey that was kinda racist," or "could you change this so it is not transphobic" are met with thanks for the opportunity to self-correct, discussion for the sake of learning, and apologies. These discussions allow everyone in the group to learn the same lesson together and support each other in this learning process. I like this because it allows me to learn from others' mistakes as well as my own instead of continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again. I also like this because it's a LOT more efficient at reducing those ambient levels of transphobia and binarism I was talking about than talking to one person at a time.

I keep having the same exact education conversations over and over again on a nearly daily basis, so I am absolutely certain that these group conversations help a lot more people learn the same lesson than me putting the same amount of energy into a private conversation and only helping one person learn how to stop being an accidental asshole. Besides, then I can stop watching the faces of the other trans people in any given group fall in marginalized silence. It breaks my heart to watch that.

But anyway, this only works in these groups where people want to do better and care more about accountability in terms of how their actions impact others than they do about appearing to be perfect. In other spaces, it causes a shit show. ____________________ PART FOUR: My Request

So, if you have made it this far, you finally have the context for what I request:

If I or someone else lets you know that something you did or said was transphobic or binarist and asks you to make a change, please keep in mind that speaking up at all is often a fearful thing for us. We are afraid of physical and verbal violence, of losing social capital, of being told we are being dramatic or otherwise not being taken seriously, of losing your friendship, and more. If we thought you didn't want to learn or do better, we wouldn't bother. In that sense, it's a compliment, even though it feels uncomfortable if you aren't accustomed to accountability culture (and sometimes even then). Those of us who are accustomed to accountability-oriented spaces can forget that this isn't the assumption a lot of people have.

Take feedback to heart, and if the conversation starts publicly and you're able to keep it there, please do so as an act of allyship. Transparency and accountability are acts of allyship when it comes to these things because they become agents of cultural shift.

Thanks for reading my essay, I hope it makes sense. Again, questions are welcome in the comments.

#allyship #enby #binarism #transphobia #sexism #Oct 2019

1 note · View note

theclaravoyant · 6 years

Note

Hi sorry I’m new to the community and I was wondering what exactly non-binary people entails and how can I support them more?

Hi! Thanks for asking.

“Nonbinary” in its broadest sense is about anyone with a gender identity that falls outside of the binary - ie anyone who does not identify 100% as a woman (including trans women) or as a man (including trans men). There are infinite possibilities within the realm of being nonbinary, it is not really a third gender in and of itself, but some people (such as myself) do use it as their gender identity label. Others prefer terms which are more specific to their experience such as demigirl/demiboy (which is how some people describe an alignment to a certain gender without ID’ing as fully that gender), genderfluid (the experience of shifting between genders over time, binary or otherwise), genderqueer (not a man/male or a woman/female), or agender (having no gender at all).

It can be hard to know how to support nonbinary people being that we’re such an eclectic bunch, but here are some tips:

Respect pronouns: Many (but not all) nonbinary people use pronouns such as they/them. The level of importance of these pronouns differs between nonbinary people - for example, I use they/them but I also don’t mind she/her pronouns, which is helpful bc I’m afab and fairly feminine presenting so I get it a lot, but I have a friend who finds it deeply uncomfortable to be gendered, particularly with she/her pronouns which reflect their assigned gender and which they can even find triggering. On the other hand not all nonbinary people use they/them so if someone tells you otherwise, respect that too!

Respect self-identification: Gender is a mess and it’s really hard to be ‘sure’ of anything. People are often skeptical of nonbinary people because of this, and in my experience as an afab person, can take it to mean that you don’t understand that women can do ‘masculine’ things or other gender-role-based things. But gender is not as simple as gender roles and the best we have to go on is what people identify themselves as. Trust what people say they are and support them. I know it’s hard with people out there being all “my gender is helicopter” and that bullshit, but I promise it’s harder on actual nonbinary people to have people out there mocking us like that.

Respect the complexity of our experiences: As I said above, nonbinary is not just one thing. Some of us ID as trans, some don’t. Some of us experience an alignment of sorts to a binary gender and some don’t. Some undergo social and medical transitions, some don’t. Nonbinary is one identity but it is also thousands so don’t assume you know one person’s relationship with gender from another. This point also applies to sexuality. It is really hard to describe your sexuality when many sexuality terms, representations and conceptualisations are based on the binary, particularly when it comes to hetero- and homosexual identities. A lot of us, again including myself, feel a bit stuck between labels and it’s not always as simple as saying we’re all pan, or something like that. Personally I would use gay or queer to describe myself, and sometimes lesbian, as I came out about my sexuality before my gender and have a bit of a relationship with the lesbian identity. It’s complex, and we don’t really have a history of communal language or terminology to draw upon such as butch/femme to describe our experiences. Work with us and be supportive as we navigate our lives, relationships and labels.

Gender NEUTRAL is not necessarily the same as EQUAL: This goes back to something I mentioned above about how sometimes nonbinary people are discredited by people who generally mean well such as people who think progressively about gender roles. It is common for people to criticise particularly afab nonbinary people by saying that “anyone can do anything! women can do those things, why do you have to be that other gender?”. Similarly, some literature or language is increasingly using things like she/her pronouns for examples when he/him would historically be the default (even sometimes for god(s)!) or phrases such as “he or she”. THEY people. Just use THEY. or PEOPLE / guests / etc rather than “ladies and gentlemen”. That kind of stuff. It’s quite easy in most cases to make language more inclusive, and I’m really glad that people are trying to be more progressive, but it would be super cool to be included in this progressiveness early rather than have to tack ourselves on all the time.

I’m sure there are more, but I hope that helps! I invite anyone reading this to ask me questions any time and I will do my best

Thanks again for the ask!

Clara

#ask me stuff #nonbinary #lgbt #lgbt+#about me #Anonymous #welcome to reblog

9 notes · View notes

snarktheater · 6 years

Text

Ghosts of the Shadow Market — Every Exquisite Thing

Today, we’re still hanging out with the gang from an unreleased book trilogy. And to be fair, we’re in much less angering territory than the previous story. So there’s that—we’re back to “mostly okay, but also, why isn’t this just fanfiction rather than a published work you’re expecting people to pay you money for?” So, you’ve been warned, this is mostly lacking in any kind of proper fire.

It’s also lacking in any kind of meaningful presence by one Jem Carstairs, which may be an interesting correlation. Then again, I didn’t hate Cast Long Shadows for Jem’s part in it, so…who knows, really.

Every Exquisite Thing focuses on Anna Lightwood. If you’ve been following, Anna is Gabriel Lightwood and Cecily Herondale’s oldest daughter. She’s also Christopher’s older sister, and as such, the modern-day Lightwoods' great-great-something-aunt.

Anna is also a nonbinary lesbian. I think that’s the best way to label her, seeing as she seems to still use she/her pronouns, is attracted to women and refers to it specifically in lesbian terms. But Every Exquisite Thing opens before she’s out of the closet. And I mean that both metaphorically and literally, seeing as she’s also in a closet at the start of the story.

Specifically, she’s in her brother Christopher’s wardrobe looking for clothes of his to steal and wear for herself in secret. See, she likes wearing men’s clothes and assuming a more manly presentation in general. This does come at the cost of criticizing the “girly” persona she’s forced to assume, and…you know, I’m not touching that one, because while rejection of femininity by women is its own problem, I feel like it’s excused for a genderqueer character.

Anna’s room was so different from her brother’s. Her walls were papered in a dusty rose […] Given her choice, the paper would be a rich, deep green, her decor black and gold. She would have a deep chaise longue on which she could read and smoke.

You get the gist.

Now, you may be thinking: “wait, she’s Cecily’s daughter, and Cecily couldn’t wait to be a warrior and use Shadowhunter fighting gear, so why is she even dressing up like a man in secret?” And if so: congrats, you spoiled yourself the end of the story. Thankfully, the conflict in the story isn’t really about her coming out as genderqueer, because otherwise this would be really dull to anyone who knows the previous generation of Shadowhunters (and Clare’s refusal to let her darlings show the slightest hint of modern-day intolerance, even if it would be justifiable in their own time).

So anyway. Anna retreats to her room with the stolen clothes to change. This is complete with telling us Anna doesn’t wear a corset ever, because feminism, and then describing her feelings on wearing men’s clothes.

Even in these clothes—stains and ham sandwiches and all—her confidence swelled. She was no longer a gangly girl who looked awkward in ribbons and flounces. Instead she looked elegant, her lean body complemented by more severe tailoring, the waistcoat nipping in her slim waist and flaring over her narrow hips.

She fantasizes about using Matthew’s clothes instead, since he’s the fashionable one, but even Christopher’s clothes, damaged as they are due to his one character trait being “mad science”, are good enough for now. She also fantasizes about charming young ladies in her attire, just so you know that yes, she is a lesbian, and then the plot kicks in in the form of Cecily calling her downstairs.

The plot, in this case, is Inquisitor Bridgestock and his family being in London, and since the Lightwoods are a big deal, they were invited for dinner to talk politics. Anna’s not pleased, but she has no choice. Cue meeting the Inquisitor’s family, and specifically, his only daughter Ariadne.

In the doorway of the dining room stood a girl, probably Anna’s age, in a midnight-blue dress. Her hair was jet black, like Anna’s, but fuller, more luxurious, deep as night sky against her soft brown skin. But what captured Anna were her eyes—eyes the color of topaz—large, the lashes thick.

Guess she’s our love interest for the evening.

Ariadne is from India, and was adopted by the Inquisitor after her parents died in a demon attack. She’s also involved in politics, even if her politics make no sense to me as she argues against a Shadowhunter currency…

“Shadowhunters are an international group. We must blend seamlessly with many international economies. Having our own currency would be a disaster.”

Like, it makes sense to use local currencies in the Institutes, but…what about Idris? What currency do they use there? Wouldn’t it make sense to pick a standard to trade in in your own country? Or do you just not need money in Idris? Is it a communist utopia where everything is free? Now that I think about it, I remember Clary getting weapons from a blacksmith in Idris, but I don’t remember her paying for it.

Anyway, back to Ariadne. She’s also very hot, hot enough for even Christopher to notice. If this seems like setup for something…it’s not. The book literally uses Christopher’s obliviousness as a way to highlight how hot Ariadne is. There’s a lot of purple prose about how hot Ariadne is. Plus some fantasizing on Anna’s part, who thinks Ariadne might be requiting her attraction, but isn’t sure if it’s her gaydar or her please-be-gaydar. And that’s pretty relatable, if I do say so myself.

After dinner, Ariadne shows Anna the library alone, just long enough to establish that Ariadne, in fact, is probably interested.

“I am modern and possessed of all sorts of advanced notions.” […] “Your brother’s eyes are quite extraordinary,” Ariadne noted. Anna heard this a good deal. Christopher’s eyes were lavender in color. “Yes,” Anna said. “He’s the good-looking one in the family.” “I quite disagree!” Ariadne exclaimed, looking surprised. “Gentlemen must compliment you all the time on the shade of your eyes.”

She also asks Anna to be her training partner, because she’s very late on combat training, and absolutely flirts with Anna in the process.

“You may find me clumsy.” Ariadne twisted her hands together. […] “You will have to be delicate with me, then,” Ariadne said, very softly.

The parents come in before this can go anywhere, and we soon cut to the Lightwoods on their ride home. It’s a fairly cute family moment, but there’s also a meaningful moment of Cecily asking her daughter what she thought of Ariadne.

And this is where I skip forward a little, because it turns out, most of the kids of Anna’s generations know about her being attracted to girls. So the conflict here seems to be mostly about whether her own parents know and what they’d think of it. But since it’s not brought up again until the very end (which I somewhat spoiled already), you can guess how tenuous this conflict is. Good thing we have a love interest to spice things up, right?

But first, this is where Brother Zachariah comes into play, as he’s still in the London Shadow Market. And yes, that includes referencing the previous story.

Tonight, he also glanced around to see if he spotted the vendor he had seen on one of his previous visits. [��] She sold colorful potions, and Matthew Fairchild had purchased one and given it to his mother. It had taken all of Jem’s efforts to bring Charlotte back from death’s door. She had not been the same since, nor had Matthew.

I’m glad you’re finally acknowledging Charlotte’s grief…in a story where she’s not even present, and in a man’s point of view. Yeah, that’s a good way to treat your female character.

We also learn that Jem’s mission for Ragnor, which I’d assumed last night was looking for a cure for himself, is actually something else. He’s looking for the demon who sired Tessa, because now that her kids are manifesting powers of their own, she’s hoping that knowing the demon she’s descended from might help her…I don’t know, figure shit out.

Ragnor has made no progress, though. Oh, à propos of nothing, Jem also runs into Malcolm Fade, along with another warlock named Leopolda Stain. Who I’m sure is totally not a villain, by virtue of being friends with the villain from Lady Midnight. I mean, that’d just be ridic—

“Leopolda is a bit of an odd one,” Malcolm said. […] “She is … […] more connected, I suppose, to her demon side than her human side than most of us are.”

Yeah, no, she’s our villain for the evening.

But for now, let’s check back with Anna, who’s fixing the clothes she took from Christopher.

Anna was not a natural seamstress, but like all Shadowhunters, she possessed the basic skills to repair gear.

You…didn’t really need to justify that, but okay, I guess. If mentioning this may empower you.

While doing so, she muses about how differently people treat her when she’s wearing dresses compared to her wearing men’s clothes, which she’s only done twice so far. I’d say it doesn’t sound very statistically significant, but also I’m fairly sure it’s mostly hyperbolic on purpose.

[Women] looked at her soft lips, her long eyelashes, her blue eyes; they looked at her hips in tight trousers, the curve of her breasts under a man’s cotton shirt, and their eyes spoke to her in the secret language of women: You have taken their power for your own. You have stolen fire from the gods. Now come and make love to me, as Zeus made love to Danae, in a shower of gold.

I mean, maybe there is a secret language of women and this is how they all talk to each other in that language. I obviously wouldn’t know. But it does sound pretty hyperbolic to me.

Ariadne goes to visit her cousins at Gideon and Sophie’s house, mostly to stop angsting about Ariadne. This allows us to introduce Anna’s relationship to the other kids. By which I mean mostly just mention how hot James Herondale is, like all Herondale men.

Anna loved all of her cousins, but she had a very soft spot for James. He had been a somewhat awkward young boy, gentle and quiet and bookish. He had grown up into a young man Anna could see was extraordinarily handsome, like his father.

She tells them about Ariadne, but only as a potential training partner, but she seems to be mostly here to make plans with Matthew. And if there’s a surefire way to make my mood go sour, it’s Matthew Fairchild.

He and Anna often spoke of gentlemen’s fashion together, but today Anna noticed that his hair was a bit wild, and one of the buttons on his waistcoat was undone. These were small things, to be sure, but on Matthew, they spoke of something larger.

Oh no, the poor guy caused his mom to have a miscarriage because he was too dumb to just talk to her! Weep for him and his angst!

I swear I’m not going to harp on this too much. Although I will note now, before the rest of the plot unfolds, that Matthew is also responsible for the bad shit that will unfold in the rest of the story. Well, most of it, anyway. Because fuck Matthew Fairchild.

Specifically, he suggests to Anna that they go out to a place in “a nefarious corner of Soho” at night, and that she’ll have to put on a disguise to go. Needless to say, she takes the opportunity to dress with Christopher’s clothes. And because Matthew is a great friend, he shows up already drunk when they meet.

He had been like this a lot in recent weeks—what was fun and light about Matthew had taken on an edge. On some level, she felt a bit of worry rising.

This is no cute, this does not inspire sympathy, and to be fair, Anna’s absence of reaction beyond “a bit of worry” doesn’t make her look much better.

Anyway. The place is a…club? I think? Frequented by mundanes and Downworlders, including Woolsey Scott (who everyone knows is the head of the Praetor Lupus, you know, that oh-so-secret organization that the TMI cast wasn’t sure was real at all) and Yeats (because real people). And Leopolda Stain, because duh.

Oh, and creepy cultists, too.

Next to them was a woman wearing a gold turban scarf pinned with a sapphire. “Are you two of The Chosen?” she asked Matthew and Anna. […] “[Leopolda]’s going to help us,” the woman said. “Obviously, we’ve had such troubles here. Why, Crowley wasn’t even recognized here in London! He had to go to the Ahathoor Temple in Paris to be initiated to the grade of Adeptus Minor, which I’m sure you heard about.” […] “I was an Adept of the Isis-Urania temple, and I can assure you that I was adamant that—”

I guess Matthew didn’t learn anything from the previous story after all, because not only is this not alarming to either of them, but Matthew actually acts like he and Anna are also part of her cult, and she invites them to a private ceremony the next week.

“The faithful will be rewarded, I promise you. The ancient ones, so long hidden from us, shall be revealed.” “Of course,” Anna said, blinking. “Yes. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” While she was simply making conversation, Anna found that she would like to return to this place.

As Matthew and Anna leave, we cut to Jem, who’s just…watching them leave the house and thinking about how much Anna reminds him of Will. And then we cut to one week later, when Ariadne randomly shows up at the Lightwood house to ask Anna to train with her, after not talking to her the entire time. The training scene itself is mostly just Anna being too gay to function, and noting that Ariadne is in fact not that great at fighting, and ends with Anna inviting Ariadne to come with her that night to the house where the creepy cultist invited her to come back. I guess she didn’t pick up on the creepy cultist vibe.

So Anna dresses up like a man again that night, goes pick up Ariadne at her house (she’s wearing a dress, because I guess we have to keep the butch/femme dichotomy)…and they get stopped at the door by the bouncer. Ariadne’s reaction?

“Now I am curious,” Ariadne said. “We must go in, don’t you think?”

They climb up a drainpipe to the roof, and suddenly Ariadne is showing a lot more skill than she did during training. And when they get inside, they find Leopolda summoning a bunch of demons and sicking them on the human cultists. The girls engage in combat, and Jem shows up as well, since he was obviously tailing Leopolda since they met in the Shadow Market. Also, Ariadne fights with an electrum whip, which…is notable for some reason, although I’m not sure what that reason is, because the story never explains it. Same with how Ariadne can suddenly fight at all. Maybe she was just faking to get an excuse to get close to Anna?

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself again. During the fight, they manage to contain the demons, but Anna gets wounded. Jem wants to heal her, but Ariadne says she learned healing techniques from the Silent Brothers herself, and she offers to take care of Anna while Jem goes after Leopolda. Jem…does, in spite of having no idea who Ariadne is. Luckily, it’s true, and Ariadne takes Anna back to her home and heals her. Also, some romantic tension…

Throughout all of this, Anna was silent, breathless. She did not feel pain. She felt only Ariadne’s careful hands on her.

…and resolution.

“I would like to kiss you,” Ariadne said. […] “Please, Anna, may I kiss you?” Unable to speak, Anna nodded.

They kiss, and Anna in fact spends the night here, mostly because she’s too weak to leave. It’s not made explicit if they have sex, and I don’t think it really matters.

Before we cut to morning, I do have to check back with Jem, though, since this is also where his involvement in the story ends. Remember how he was looking for Tessa’s demon dad? Yeah, turns out Leopola 1) knows about this in spite of it supposedly being a secret and 2) claims she knows who it is, and will reveal it to Jem in exchange for Shadowhunter blood. Jem is at least smart enough to say “that sounds like an evil plan, so, no.”

Actually, he’s even smarter than that. This exchange happens before Anna gets wounded, so after that, he goes after Leopolda. But he’s not actually on his own: turns out he had Woolsey Scott and the Praetor Lupus on alert as well, since Leopolda’s actions revealed the Shadow World to humans, which could be detrimental to all Downworlders. So we return to Jem meeting Scott at his home, and sure enough, he has Leopolda in custody.

She reiterates her bargain, but Jem’s not swayed. Apparently, her request for Shadowhunter blood is only so she can continue Mortmain’s work…somehow. And he won’t allow that.

Her lip curled. “But you are kind,” she said. "You are famous for it. You will not hurt me. […] That was my Shadowhunter self, he said. I have killed with this staff, though I prefer not to. Either you tell me what I wish to know, or you die. It is your choice.

She tells him Tessa’s father is a Greater Demon—a Prince of Hell, in fact—and “the greatest of Eidolon demons”. Didn’t we already know that? I don’t feel like re-reading all of my TID recaps, but it sounds like something we already knew. She won’t tell Jem the demon’s actual name, though, and so Jem…lets Scott’s werewolves kill her. Admittedly, she did try to fight her way out of here, but that still feels very…um…

Leopolda screamed and whirled on Jem, wide-eyed. “You said you would let me leave! You swore!” Jem felt very weary. I am not the one who is stopping you.

It feels villainous is what it feels like. “Oh, sure, I swore to let you walk free, but the werewolves, whom I had come here on purpose, didn’t!”

So Leopolda is dead, and this whole subplot was essentially useless to this story, so I assume this is going to be our “main” story thread uniting all the short stories? Only took three stories to get to it.

Let’s wrap up with Anna, shall we? She leaves Ariadne’s house early in the morning before anyone can spot her, but she’s giddy because…you know. Gay love. Except when she goes to visit Ariadne officially later that day (after catching some sleep), guess who’s visiting but Charles Fairchild. You know, Matthew’s older brother, who was born during TID? Well, he’s our random eleventh-hour drama for the night.

See, he’s just been named interim head of the Paris Institute for a year, and he’s the Consul’s son. In other words, he’s a perfect match, and Inquisitor Bridgestock wants to marry Ariadne to him. Anna is immediately shocked by this, because she lives in Edwardian England but is baffled by the concept of political marriages, I guess.

“Charles is quite a good match,” Ariadne said as if she were discussing the quality of a piece of cloth.

Ariadne’s argument boils down to “I don’t love him since I’m a lesbian, but I do want to be a mom”. Also, she refuses to come out because she’s adopted and fears her parents would reject her. Her offer is to have a secret relationship with Anna for a year, after which they’ll be over because she won’t cheat on Charles after they’re married.

Anna is not interested. Which, fair enough.

“Good-bye, Ariadne,” she managed, and staggered from the room.

She goes home to cry, Christopher tries to comfort her in his own awkward way, as does Cecily (minus the awkward part…I think).

“She broke your heart, didn’t she? Ariadne?” Anna was speechless. So her mother did know.

So…yeah. Cecily knew, and she’s fine with it.

“Mama,” she said. “You do not mind—that I might not get married, or have children?” "There are many Shadowhunter children orphaned, as Ariadne was, seeking loving homes, and I see no reason why you might not provide one someday. […] As “for marriage …” Cecily shrugged. “They said your Uncle Will could not be with your Aunt Tessa, that your Aunt Sophie and Uncle Gideon could not be together. […] Even where laws are unjust, hearts can find a way to be together. If you love someone, I have no doubt you will find a way to spend your life with them, Anna.”

She also knew about Anna crossdressing, and she’s fine with that too, going so far as to give her a specially tailored suit for her. So did Gabriel, as it turns out when Anna puts the suit on and joins the rest of her family for a walk in the park.

Of course, this begs the question: why now? If Cecily and Gabriel knew, why did they buy Anna dresses and decorate her room in a girly way that she hates? And if they had that suit, why wait for the most dramatic time to reveal it? Well, it doesn’t matter, because that’s not the point, I guess.

“I have always known you, my love,” Cecily said.

And…I mean, I’m sure this is empowering to someone who will read this. I personally feel like narratives where the parents (or other closed ones) already knew and were fine with it, while they certainly reflect a truth, really should be toned down at this point. Most queer people’s families don’t know, and don’t react positively to the announcement. But hey, I guess this is fiction, and it is a fantasy, and there are worse fantasies out there.

So Anna puts on her suit, and cuts her hair short, and she’s a new person. Oh, and Cecily also gives her the family necklace. Well, it’s not a family necklace yet at this point in the timeline, but…you know, the necklace that detects demons? Yeah, that one. I’m not sure why it’s there except to remind readers of a thing in the rest of the series, but it sure is there.

That was Every Exquisite Thing. As I said in my intro, it’s mostly okay, honestly. The Jem stuff feels even more extraneous as before, and I’m back to feeling like Anna’s story could have just been alluded to in her own books and left up for fans to actually write about, but it’s not the worst thing out there. And that’s really all I have to say about this.

#every exquisite thing #cassandra clare #maureen johnson #ghosts of the shadow market #young adult #ya books #books #young adult books #book reviews #ya #reviews #book #book review #review #st: ghosts of the shadow market

15 notes · View notes