#learn to recognize bigotry in your community and fight it

[bifrosted-flakes]

You guys HAVE to stop putting punk on a pedestal

[decolonize-the-everything]

Also idk what parent needs to hear this but with the curriculum changing to reflect bigotry, you'll have to pickup the slack at home.

Not knowing your history and awful education leads to entire countries of people that dont know what communism actually is, never learned about organized workers movements (despite capitalism being the system), and can't recognize fascism when it's staring them in the face.

It's not a coincidence bigots are densely populated in areas with awful education systems. And it's not a coincidence they don't even see it as bigotry.

My kid is 9. She knows about police brutality, classism, and racism and why we fight it. She had to. She's brown kid, poor, and ADHD; naive by nature for the moment and I don't want her being taken advantage of or exploited. It's why she knows about boundaries, saying "no", and listening to herself.

This year during PRIDE she'll learn about stonewall and why we're still fighting for that too. She's old enough to tag along and participate with more understanding so she will. She's learned about bodily autonomy and women's rights as well. And she's learned about having a healthy relationship with nature; to respect the critters, plants, water, and climate.

Protest and fighting and standing up for yourself and your rights and being a good ally are all family values in my house. And if the school won't teach that to her then it's on me, just like it's on all of us.

And no, she doesn't know or understand enough to have a whole debate but she's 9. There's still so much time to teach her more. But she understands the basics and for kids, it really doesn't need to be more complicated than that because she's just interacting with other kids.

I taught her about police & homophobia in 2020 as soon as I got her back from her homophobic dad. She was 6.

It was as easy as "But I'm a gay people too & when you say theyre gross that hurts my feelings. Do you have to think what your dad thinks?"

Giving her the freedom to make that choice herself, to disagree, and grow out of it and end that association with "gross" was the best thing I could've done for her. Cuz guess who told me she might like boys and girls 3 years later?

Those many tiny talks over time could've saved her from decades of shame induced trauma.

Our kids deserve everything. And they deserve better. We must teach them that and we need to teach them to fight for it. Teach them what to fight against.

They aren't too young. Give them more credit. "Think of the children" by educating yours.

[cripple-punk-dad]

i hope you don’t mind this but like i’m 14 (not white, trans, gay, that stuff) and seeing a lot of people talk about how a lot of countries are going far right & extremism is coming back in full swing & no rainbow capitalism, etc is kind of scary. how do i like. not be so scared all the time? i just thought you’d know but if this is a weird ask i totally get it

It is scary. It's downright terrifying, looking out into the world and seeing the pattern of hatred, bigotry, and violence that is feels like its only growing more prevalent. Sometimes it feels like I'm on an island in a huge ocean of people who just want me to die, or change who I am, or both.

Not only that, but being 14 is fucking terrifying. You're not an adult yet, so you can't enact 'real change', you can't even drive (in the U.S) so your transportation is limited. You can't (legally) even get a job or anything. The world has done pretty much everything it can to keep you feeling scared. That's really hard to deal with!

This is usually where I'd say something dramatic, like "don't let them get away with that." But that's easier said than done. And that doesn't really answer your question, either. So instead I'll say this: It's hard to be scared when you 1) know your enemy, and 2) have other things to focus on. I don't mean that you should go debate every conservative you see, or even interact with them. But taking the time to understand the ideologies of fascism, alt-right conservatism, TERFS, white supremacists, etc. not only helps you to see how wrong they are, but also how they always fail and will continue to fail. This is also a good time to research and reinforce your own ideologies and beliefs. No one is immune to propaganda, but it's a lot easier to recognize it if you know what you're looking for.

But don't let that consume you. Remember, these people want you to be scared and isolated. If you spend all your time obsessing over everything wrong with the world (which is very easy with social media and the internet) then the people who want you gone will only grow stronger. So it really is a good idea to fight against that by building up a community of friends, and by building yourself up too. What I mean is this: Go outside, look at the ground, find a weird bug you don't know anything about. Read the obituaries in a newspaper. Go dumpster diving. Learn about something that interests you. Write a letter to somebody and never send it (or do). Pick up a weird hobby. You can just start gluing shit together, no one is gonna stop you, there are a lot less rules than you think.

But above all, remember that while history is full of empires collapsing, and wars, and horrors beyond imagination. The fall of Rome didn't happen overnight, it happened over centuries. But even in the midst of all that, people still made art, and had families, and not only survived, but lived fulfilling lives. I promise that you can and will be able to do that too. The sun will continue to shine, the grass will continue to grow, and the Earth will keep on spinning.

[purplenidoqueen]

why did you read “let’s hold transmisogynistic trans mascs accountable and not humor their bigotry” as “i hate trans men”? come now. the post only criticizes transmascs who engage in transmisogyny. nowhere does it say that transmascs are a threat or danger to trans women, just that they’re capable of being shitty to us and shouldn’t. you have to learn to read trans women in good faith.

Sorry for the wait! I have too little free time and too much to say on any given topic.

The reblog that garnered these messages can be found here.

Since this was split into two messages I'll have to respond in two parts, so bear with me. While I don't have much of an audience, it's important to me to head this off, so I'd appreciate it if anyone who reads this and agrees with my stances here also walks away with the message of patience and solidarity, and doesn't send messages her way for whatever reason. This isn't a callout and I don't believe in callouts; this is just how the inbox function works.

Anyway! First:

I can understand your rush to send off these messages, considering the amount of pushback you seem to have gotten, but as I said at the end of my reblog, I'm a trans woman myself; I've been out and proud with my she/they pronouns for over a decade. It's not about learning to understand trans women, is it? It's about the communication of ideas in the midst of a disagreement, itself in the midst of one of the most volatile and socially violent moments in our corner of the platform.

First, and perhaps most confrontationally, you didn't start with transmisogynistic trans mascs. You started with how this is our fight, and this isn't about them. That's the bit I take issue with. You say we have to stop excusing this behavior, and stop getting defensive and generalizing this shit, and that we cant be afraid to recognize their bigotry just because they’re also trans, but you are the one who started generalizing, and this is me recognizing it. You're lumping the guys who said "this is why we have to care about trans people, listen to trans siblings" in with the trans mascs -- including those which are profiles worn by the dedicated terf brigade that has been antagonizing Rita and other trans women for years -- who are spreading callouts and being part of the problem. We can't go into this acting defensive against our allies. I'll double down on this: You're playing the game the terfs want you to play.

To clarify a related point, this isn't about whether or not you hate men. I'll admit that I did check your reblogs, and that I give a little nervous side-eye toward some of the content you've posted, but that's honestly not my business and it wasn't the point. The point is that, whether you hate men or love them, whether you're helping to sow discontent among the community intentionally or unintentionally… you're still playing the game the terfs want you to play. This isn't about feelings; it's about the results.

"Nowhere does it say that transmascs are a threat or danger to trans women, just that they’re capable of being shitty to us and shouldn’t"…

Sure, but it does say

"it’s kind of fucking annoying as hell seeing transmascs watch all the insane recent transmisogyny and go “this is why we have to care about trans people, listen to trans siblings” no. this is about trans women."

And isn't that the point? This isn't just about trans women. This is about the BLM protest, and all the black bloggers who got called russian bots and were terminated. This is about every sex worker who straddled the line of post-porn-ban TOS as best they could and still got banned for presenting wrong, from trans women posting their faces to trans men posting their nipples. This is about every voice that has consistently been eradicated from Tumblr, and Rita's is the latest and the loudest explosion heard but hers is not the only one we should be talking about, and her situation and ours is not the only one that matters.

I did read the rest of the post before I responded, and I'll give the same note here that I give when "journalists" front-load their articles with falsehoods because they know that the first few sentences are the most important ones: if you don't want your work to be adversarial, don't start it adversarially.

Part two here, and since we're on to the second message I promise it's less about personal presentation of the message and more about the greater topics.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

So usually I don’t read the Daily Beast (often sensationalized news/tabloid outlet), but I clicked on this article today:

I can’t tell if I’m angry at the author of this article or feel extremely sorry for her. Essentially, she’s a lesbian conservative who’s feeling disillusioned by DeSantis’ anti-LGBT policies. But some of what she says is genuinely making my head spin:

DeSantis has been governor of Florida since 2018. He’s built a platform on being anti-LGBT since around 2020, and only now that he’s released an advertisement that makes absolutely no departure from his previous statements and actions, suddenly you’re shocked?

I’m sorry, but “limited government, personal responsibility, and individual liberties” like what? The government keeping themselves out of the decisions women and trans people make with their bodies? Personal responsibility like recognizing one’s place in systemic injustice and working to right it? Or do you mean “personal responsibility” in the conservative ideological belief of only looking out for oneself and not one’s community? Individual liberties? This woman lives openly as a lesbian, and it sure as hell wasn’t conservatives that gave her that right. By “individual liberties,” is she only talking about not caring about issues until they affect her own freedom? Because that’s exactly what’s happening. Conservatives have been working for years to oppress the LGBT+ community, but as long as this particular woman isn’t feeling threatened, it’s fine. She can even join them in oppressing members of her own community, until they actually turn on her, which, surprise, they did.

The ignorance here honestly breaks my heart. DeSantis “tarnishes the image of the conservative movement” by being homophobic? What image did the conservative movement even have in the first place that positions them as a champion of LGBT+ rights? DeSantis isn’t “going against conservative principles” by being a bigot; he’s embodying them. Those “conservative values” the author is championing are exactly what got him to where he is now. The author is shocked at his bigotry, but as of writing the article, she’s still ignorant to the fact that because she’s only looking out for her conservative “individual liberties,” she and the rest of our community are in danger.

Ms. Yvonne Dean Bailey, I doubt you’ll see this, but I feel sorry for you. But the truth is, DeSantis is not just one bad individual tarnishing your ideology. He is your ideology, and the only reason why you have the freedoms you speak of is because of generations of sacrifices by the LGBT community fighting against those “conservative values” to give you and the rest of us better lives than the ones they had. Conservatives may say they promote “individual liberties,” but what that means is stepping on the most convenient marginalized group to give more power to a privileged demographic that gets smaller and smaller the more they’re allowed to oppress people. Being a conservative lesbian woman is not going to stop them from seeing you as a lesbian woman, and therefore a target of homophobia and misogyny. Your ideology and “values” will not protect you from them.

I don’t hate you, Yvonne Dean Bailey. I think you’re ignorant, but I don’t hate you. I’m scared for you, just like I’m scared for myself and every other person in this country. I hope you take the long, painful, terrifying journey of introspection and deconstructing the harmful values you’ve spent so long supporting, because I want you and our whole community to be safe. You can do a lot of good if you keep questioning and thinking. But please, Yvonne Dean Bailey, as a queer person who lives in Florida, I want you to understand what’s going on, and despite what you’ve learned, bigotry doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You’ve taken the first step, but it’s not the end. Please keep moving.

[missvieee]

COVID 19 REFLECTION PAPER

How has the way you live altered since the institution began offering online classes? For starters, learning becomes ineffective. I no longer need to attend school, including the library, as online education begins, but I including the library, as online education begins, but I must continue to study at home due to the coronavirus. However, there are numerous temptations at home, and I am unable to concentrate on my studies. For instance, because I can engage in gaming on my computer and cellphone at any time, and because I only must view instructions online videos rather than taking classes, I only have time to view videos before I start doing my homework, and I will not watch them carefully, causing me to miss a lot of significant information and ideas. Also, because I can engage in computer games throughout the day and night, I may forget today's date and night, I may forget today's date, and forget assignments due. As a result, I lose a lot of points. Second, I can't always go to the dining hall. Because I needed to stay within my house for the sake of myself, I must cook for myself. I know I can order delivery, but I don't have much money. However, I am not a competent cook, so am not a competent cook, I must prepare culinary textbooks and comply with the instructions. This is great fun for me.

During this period of "social distancing," how had you been engaging with others?” Yes, I've been communicating with my close companions during this period of social isolation, but only through my personal computer and phone. We do, indeed, feel lonely and bored. We would like to go shopping outside, but we know how dangerous it is outside and how important it is to protect ourselves against the coronavirus. As a result, we solely utilize our phones to talk with one another or play games collectively. This is sufficient for me. Also, I believe that connecting online is critical. Sometimes, people feel lonely and bored and need sometimes feels lonely and bored and needs to chat with a particular individual, which is good for their mental health.

What would you want other people to know about your current situation, both now and in the future? Why? First and foremost, I am willing to inform prospective readers that my encounter was not all awful. Actually, due to our superior technology, I think that we'll ultimately control the coronavirus and develop a vaccine. As a result, I don't want them to be scared or worried. Second, I'd like future generations to learn from our errors of judgment. They should not only be astonished, but they should also summarize our faults and take action to prevent this issue from happening again. They will thereby create a healthy and wonderful world. Finally, I hope that future generations recognize the doctors, nurses, and those who gave their lives during this pandemic. They should be acknowledged all the time. They're considered superheroes as they have saved the lives of numerous people. How had the global epidemic affected your neighborhood (in broad terms)? For instance, there has been an increase in bigotry, intolerance, and violence directed at Asian and Asian American groups. Well, I believe that the epidemic has a significant impact on their connection. For instance, my extended family members banded together to fight the epidemic, and they become closer as a result of one another. This is fantastic. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some people are estranged from their pals. Also, when someone coughs in this condition, everybody around him assumes he has a global epidemic and avoids him, yet he is simply unpleasant with his throat.

[charmegddon]

fight back black lives matter!

Why We Need to Stand up for Black Lives and Fight for What's Right

The #BlackLivesMatter movement has been a rallying cry for millions of people around the world, standing up against the systemic racism and police brutality that has plagued the Black community. The message of this movement is simple yet powerful: Black Lives Matter. We must fight for what’s right, and that includes protecting and advocating for our Black brothers and sisters. In this blog post, we will discuss why it’s important to stand up for Black lives and why it’s our responsibility to fight for what’s right.

Racism is real and it's alive and well in America As much as we'd like to believe that we live in a post-racial society, the truth is that racism is still very much present in America. It's not just about the blatant acts of bigotry that we see on the news, either. Racism can be subtle, and it can be insidious, infecting even the most well-meaning among us. But make no mistake, we cannot afford to ignore this issue any longer. Black people have been marginalized and discriminated against for centuries, and it's high time that we took action to stop racism in its tracks. This is where the Black Lives Matter movement comes in. It's a call to action for all of us to stand up for what's right and fight for the rights and dignity of black people. It's about recognizing that we are all human beings deserving of respect and equality, regardless of the color of our skin. So, if you believe in justice and fairness for all, then I implore you to help us with this fight. It starts with spreading the word and educating yourself about the experiences of black people in America. It starts with challenging your own biases and prejudices. It starts with being willing to listen and learn. Let's work together to stop racism and create a more just and equitable society for all. Black lives matter, and it's up to all of us to make sure that they do.

Black people have been fighting for their rights for centuries It's important to remember that the struggle for equality and justice is not a new one for the black community. For centuries, black people have had to fight against discrimination, oppression, and systemic racism. From slavery and segregation to police brutality and mass incarceration, the black community has endured countless injustices throughout history. But despite facing such adversity, black people have always risen up to fight for their rights. From the abolitionist movement to the civil rights era, black activists and leaders have been at the forefront of social and political change, advocating for an end to discrimination and the promotion of equality. However, the fight is far from over. Racism is still prevalent in our society today, and black people continue to face countless barriers and injustices as a result. From the racial wealth gap and educational inequality to voter suppression and police brutality, the challenges facing the black community are many. It's time for all of us to take a stand against racism and fight for what's right. We must work to dismantle systemic racism and support initiatives that promote equality and justice for all. We can start by educating ourselves and others about the realities of racism and the ways in which it manifests in our society. We can also support black-owned businesses, donate to organizations fighting for racial justice, and use our voices to advocate for change.

The events of the past year have brought the issue of racism back into the spotlight It's no secret that racism is deeply ingrained in American society. Black people have been subjected to systemic oppression for centuries, with little change to their plight until recently. The senseless deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and countless other black Americans at the hands of racist police have forced us to confront the reality that we cannot continue to turn a blind eye to the injustices faced by people of color. Racism is a disease that needs to be eradicated, and it starts with recognizing the humanity of black lives. The murders of Floyd, Taylor, and others are just the tip of the iceberg; there are countless other instances where black people have been discriminated against or targeted simply because of the color of their skin. This kind of treatment is unacceptable, and we need to work tirelessly to stop racism in all its forms. In order to stop racism, we must start by addressing the issue at its core. That means holding racist police accountable for their actions, dismantling systems that perpetuate racial disparities, and actively working to create a more inclusive society. This is not an easy task, but it's one that we must undertake if we want to ensure a brighter future for all. Black lives matter. This isn't just a catchy slogan, but a reality that we need to fully embrace. The events of the past year have brought the issue of racism back into the spotlight, and it's up to all of us to use our voices and our actions to fight for what's right. Let's work together to create a world where everyone is treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their skin color.

We need to stand up for black lives because all lives matter Some people may argue that the Black Lives Matter movement is exclusive and that all lives matter. While it's true that all lives matter, the Black Lives Matter movement exists because black people have historically been oppressed and continue to face discrimination and violence. We need to stand up for black lives because black people are our fellow human beings and deserve the same respect, dignity, and opportunities as anyone else. Black people have contributed to every aspect of society, from art to science, music to literature, and more. It's only right that we recognize their humanity and support their struggle for justice. Furthermore, standing up for black lives does not mean we're disregarding the lives of other races. It means we're recognizing that black people have been disproportionately affected by systemic racism and violence, and that we need to address these issues head-on. When we address the issues facing black people, we're working towards a better world for all of us.

We need to fight for what's right, and that means fighting against racism in all its forms It's no secret that racism exists in America. It's been woven into the very fabric of our society since the first African slaves were brought here over 400 years ago. And despite the progress that's been made over the years, racism is still very much alive and well in our country today. But we can't give up the fight. We can't let racism win. Black people have been fighting for their rights for centuries, and we can't stop now. We owe it to our ancestors to continue the fight and make progress towards a more just and equitable society. The events of the past year have brought the issue of racism back into the spotlight. The murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and countless other Black Americans at the hands of police officers has sparked nationwide protests and a reckoning with our country's racist past and present. It's time for us to take action and fight against racism in all its forms. This means challenging the racist systems that have been in place for centuries, and actively working towards dismantling them. It means holding people accountable for their racist actions and words, even if they're in positions of power. It also means recognizing the impact of microaggressions and casual racism. Words hurt as much as punches and kicks. Black people have been subjected to racism daily, in both overt and subtle ways. But we're not here to be servants sent by God to do white people's bidding. We're real humans with real feelings, and we deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

[mothergamer28]

Doing My Best

I've been struggling with my anxiety a lot today. It happens sometimes. I've been living with anxiety and depression a long time and now recently SAD (seasonal affective disorder) so it's been overwhelming sometimes. I've also been kind of anxious about recent events in content creation because again and again it shows that sometimes people who have power let that power get to their head and treat others with terrible cruelty.

I'm Filipino and queer and while my relationship is not a queer one because I'm married to cis hetero man, I'm very much queer. Ron is kind and understanding when I talk to him about issues with racism and erasure of my identity that I have struggled with in the past and issues I deal with in the present. He's been honest about how he knows he can not know what I'm going through because he recognizes his privilege, but he can listen and he can be supportive. He has done that for me for almost 15 years and it's helped me get through some of my toughest days.

To say I'm disappointed that someone from our community (LGBTQIA+) who had a lot of reach and power repeatedly talk over and dismiss black people from our community who tried to talk to them about how something they said came across as ignoring the constant hate that they deal with is an understatement. It was awful and they doubled down, they behaved really unkindly, they didn't say anything about people from their community actively harassing anyone who spoke up until it got to be a problem too big to ignore, and then gave a very half assed non apology. It did not help that white people accepted that apology that was not meant for them and proceeded to tell them they did nothing wrong. I wish I could say I was surprised by it, but I wasn't. I learned that lesson when I was a kid by my mother. The system is not built for people like us, it never was. So to see someone from our community double down on ignoring fellow community members trying to educate them on colorism and bigotry within our community and how we must work together to do better and change that so all feel welcome is just disheartening and frustrating.

Frankly, when I see white/white passing people do that, it makes me wary of them. It lets me know that I am not safe in their community no matter how much they claim it's a safe space and inclusive. Their actions showed me who they really are and I believe them. I can't risk my safety and well being or my community's. I don't think they're a bad person, but their actions were not great. It's why I just keep my circle small. It's why I tell my community don't put people on a pedestal and that includes me. I am not perfect, no one is perfect, and I have to hold myself accountable. I'm doing the best I can because that's all I can do. That's all any of us can do.

We must show up for everyone. We don't cherry pick who is the more "marketable" person to show up for. We show up for everyone in our community because everyone matters and we're fighting against a system and people who hate us simply because we exist, because we're just living our lives. So today I'm anxious and worrying about everything, but I'm still here, still doing my best, and holding onto hope. I love you all. Please do your best to be kind to yourselves and each other.

[adultingautistic]

Hi! Adult diagnosed with autism just recently and I’m trying to understand more terms used by the community! I have masking, stimming, and samefoods learn but are there other common ones I should know about?

Oh wow!  This is a good idea, a glossary of sorts! 

At first I was like “HOW WILL I EVER THINK OF THEM ALL?? MY MIND HAS GONE TOTALLY BLANK, WHAT’S AN AUTISM???”

But then I realized I already HAVE a pretty extensive list- it’s my tag list for this blog!  So, here ya go, starting with the 3 you listed:

masking

stimming

samefoods / samesong / samemovie

sensory input - the 5 senses, and how they interact with your brain.  When you see/hear/feel/smell/taste something, that is “input” into your brain

Bad Sensory Input / sensory hell - Autistics experience horrific sensory input in a way that allistics just do not, and there are no words to describe it, so we invented our own.  Bad Sensory Input is something that is far, far more horrible than just “unpleasant”.  For example, smelling a dumpster is a bad smell, but smelling mint for me is a Bad Smell, it makes me react very violently and almost puke, and I would much RATHER smell a dumpster than have to smell mint, so for me, mint is a Bad Smell.  

sensory sensitivity - Describes the condition of being affected by Bad Sensory Input

sensory overload - When your 5 senses are receiving too much information for your brain to handle.  Can lead to a meltdown/shutdown

autistic burnout - When you’ve been dealing with overload situations over an extended period of time, and run out of spoons (the energy it takes to do day-to-day things)

spoons - Not strictly an autistic term, but used by the entire disabled community at large.  Wikipedia explains it really well

self diagnosis / self dx - Because of a huge number of difficulties in getting professionally diagnosed, the autistic community accepts and advocates for self-diagnosis, that is, a person saying they are autistic based on their own personal experiences and research, without the diagnosis of a doctor

special interest / spIn (abbreviation, that’s a capital i) - More than “just a hobby”, an intense interest in a particular subject that takes away from learning about other subjects (causing “narrow interests” in the person), because so much time is spent on the special interest.  

hyperfixation / hyperfocus - When you are so engaged in the task you are doing that your brain has no room left to process other stimuli, such as hearing the world around you, realizing you need the bathroom, realizing you’re thirsty, etc

emotional overload - When your emotions become so intense it can send you into meltdown / shutdown

emotional dysregulation / emotional regulation - The inability to “reign in” emotions; having emotions that are much too big for a situation, having emotions that are a huge overreaction to a situation, or also a huge underreaction

auditory processing disorder - A hearing disorder that occurs when there is nothing wrong with the ears, but the brain struggles to interpret sounds.  Greatly affects the ability to understand speech.

echolalia / echologia - Repeating of words or phrases that you’ve heard, for various reasons.  Echolalia is repeating the words out loud, echologia is repeating them only in your mind

face blindness - A deficiency in the ability to recognize/remember faces

executive dysfunction / executive function - Poor executive function causes a person to struggle with planning, organization, remembering to do tasks, etc

propioception - the ability to feel the position of one’s body in relation to itself and the world around it.  Struggling with proprioception causes a person to be “clumsy” or “accident-prone”

meltdown / shutdown - A reaction to sensory or emotional overload.  The brain taking drastic measures to protect itself from more input, as it cannot handle any more.  Meltdowns are outward survival actions such as fight, flight, or hide, including kicking, screaming, or running away.  Shutdowns are internal reactions, where the person no longer responds to outside stimuli.

nonverbal - Nonverbal autistics are people who have very limited speech or are not able to speak

going nonverbal / becoming nonverbal - Many autistics are “partially” verbal, meaning they can speak when not stressed, but if they become overloaded lose their ability to effectively communicate with speech (called ‘going nonverbal’).  Can be a symptom of a meltdown/shutdown.  While I’ve seen this term used in the autistic community, @garbageonionpeople pointed out “I’ve seen a lot of nonverbal autistic ppl say they’d rather if people who are not nonverbal use something like “lose speech” instead of “go nonverbal”, since it gives the word an implication of impermanency”.

nonverbal communication / nonverbal cues - The parts of human communication that are not speaking, such as body language, facial expression, and gestures.  Autistics struggle to both interpret and display these forms of communication.

accommodation / self accommodation - The changing of an environment or behavior to alleviate autistic symptoms so that the autistic person can function in a less stressful way

abelism - Bigotry that stems from the attitude that disabled people are somehow worth less than non-disabled people.  The idea that disabled people are the ones who need to change to fit into an abled world is abelism.

allistic - a non-autistic person.

empathy / hyperempathy /hypoempathy - Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of others.  Autistics tend to have either high empathy or low empathy, meaning we are either very affected by the emotions of others, or are not affected much at all.  This is not the same as compassion, autistic people with low empathy can still be very compassionate and care very much about others.

So even though this is a pretty good list, I’m sure I still forgot stuff!  If other people want to add stuff I forgot, please do so!  I also realize that these definitions are VERY short.  If you have more questions, search my blog for the tags, as all of these I got from posts I made with much more detailed explanations.  Or of course, search the tumblr tags, or google.

[plumrabbit]

DA Fandom and moving forward - Calling In vs. Calling Out

Hi everyone,

As a PoC member of the DA fandom, I felt I have been quiet for long enough on the issues that have been presented recently. I am not here to argue against or on behalf of any individual or group, I am only here to present some information that I hope will be helpful moving forward. This is a long post, but it’s my hope that if you read it and want to help contribute to making this place better for everyone, then you will be willing to try to put what is said here into practice.

Since I am a relatively small blog, I wanted to start with a little personal introduction that will segue into the topic at hand. My name is Liz (you can call me Jade too, that’s part of my middle name), and I am a mixed race, “ambiguously brown”, aspec person from Canada. I grew up around mostly other immigrant families, attended predominantly non-white schools that were run by mostly white admins, and completed my degrees at a very white university in a field that does not have much racial diversity. I have experienced racism first-hand many times including, but not limited to, name-calling/slurs, fetishization/exotification, being followed by staff, people second-guessing my name, jokes about hurting/killing people of my race, etc. as well as witnessing racism directed at my friends and peers. I know exactly what it’s like to be exhausted and feel unsafe or othered.  There is, however, one thing I need to point out about the multitude of instances of racism I’ve experienced - most of them were caused by ignorance, and not malice. Yes there are absolute assholes out there, but personally I can count those people I’ve encountered on one hand (I am not speaking for everyone, though). The vast majority of racism, bigotry and general harmful acts come from a place of ignorance, particularly on left-leaning tumblr (to clarify, this discussion is centered around well-meaning people and not the actual lost causes). When I say ignorance, I don’t mean a lack of education or intelligence, I mean not being able to see or understand an issue from another person’s perspective. It’s not quite the same as empathy either (where empathy means you are able to feel another person’s emotions), but fighting ignorance does require empathy. It also requires knowledge on the context of the specific situation, and that I believe is the crux of the problem.  I think the main reason why this is issue is particularly prevalent in the DA fandom is a result of the too-close-to-reality-to-ignore inspirations that have been confirmed by the devs. Yes, it’s fiction, but there are also a lot of people that see themselves (mis)represented in the themes and characters. And what one person sees as disrespectful, another person may not see at all. This can come full circle, too, for example: one person sees themselves and their trauma represented in a character, another person sees their race misrepresented in the same character. Person 1 uses the character as a comfort character or coping strategy. Person 2 thinks using that character in certain situations is disrespectful. Neither one sees the other’s perspective.  This is where intersectionality starts to come into play, and requires empathy and effort to address the intentions and emotions of the other person. Perhaps person 1 is LGBTQ+ and has been traumatized by being as such, and uses Dorian as a character to explore their trauma. Perhaps person 2 is Brown, and racism towards their people is their trigger, and thinks person 1 did not do Brown representation justice in their creative works.  Looking at this more specifically, person 1 may have put Dorian in sexual situations. Person 2 feels that the way it was conveyed was fetishist or exotified. Person 2 doesn’t know person 1′s intentions. Person 1 is not aware of certain descriptions that are racist (e.g. using food to describe a PoC’s skin tone). Perhaps person 1 was self-inserting and wanted to feel desirable on their own terms, but this gave person 2 that squick factor.  Now person 2 wants to address this issue, and I think this is where a call-in (not a call-out) would be appropriate. Here is a good infographic that compares the two: 

(Original source)

Note that there is quite a large difference in the language used. Going back to the above example, person 2 could privately message person 1 asking them why they chose to represent Dorian the way they did, with specific examples, and using call-in language (and I’m going to get back to this in a minute). 

The point of this post and infographic isn’t meant to tell marginalized groups how they should be bringing up issues (though it is a good guide if you are concerned about being polite, particularly to a first time offender), it’s intended to demonstrate to people unintentionally participating in harmful behaviour what a call-out vs. call-in looks like. For PoC and other marginalized groups, yes it does take emotional labour to use call-in language and to try to understand someone that wounded you (here is a good read that incorporates the concept of emotional labour for call-ins, and discusses asking yourself if you are ready to do so). For the people who have unintentionally hurt a marginalized individual or group, please understand that someone calling you in is not an attack, it’s a chance to explain why you expressed something the way you did. 

That being said, we may have reached another hurdle. What if you call someone in, and the person called in does not want to discuss the fact that they were inserting their personal trauma? I think this is where things start to get a bit messy, but I am of the opinion that if you’ve unintentionally triggered someone else’s trauma through ignorance present in your work, you owe it to them to at the very least mention that you were inserting your trauma, without having to bring up specifics (anyone is allowed to set boundaries). From there, the discussion can be hopefully be opened up to learning from each other, and reaching a consensus. Sometimes that consensus requires the creator to edit or remove their work. As an addendum, if you are a creator that unintentionally hurt someone with your work that didn’t have an ulterior personal motivation, it’s your responsibility to understand why what you did was wrong, apologize, remove the work and do better next time. I know some people cherish their OCs, but you are allowed to change your perspective and make adjustments to your character without erasing them entirely. Now we’ve reached another potential obstacle - what if an offender doesn’t respond to your call-in? First of all, ask yourself, did you actually call them in, or did you attack them? Here is a good opinion piece from a Black professor on this matter. I’d like to clarify that I am not trying to tone police, I am speaking as someone that used to go ham on ignorant people on Facebook and Reddit, and has since changed their tactics and has even gotten through to Trump supporters (some of this stems from my spiritual growth as well, but that is not the point here).  There is another issue to address here now as well - what if you have tried, repeatedly, to call someone in and they just don’t change their behaviour? Alright, then it’s probably time to call them out. But again, ask yourself, did you truly try to get through to them? If so, well, at the end of the day, some people are, unfortunately, lost causes. In summary, a call-in is meant to come from a place of wanting to help someone who has seemingly gone astray, because you are worried about their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours towards a marginalized group. You know that if they made a mistake it isn’t them, isn’t their heart, and you want them to be able to understand why what they did hurt others, and give them the chance to correct themselves. It comes from a place of love and acceptance, because you don’t want your friends to harbour negative beliefs.  Finally, I want to give a real example of this in action. My cousin is a photographic artist, and was recently called in to discuss the nature of one of her pieces. Her subjects are usually people, and they come from a wide variety of backgrounds. To help support BLM (she does a lot of work to help fight racism in general), she auctioned off one of her pieces. The subject of the piece happened to be a Black woman. She was called in by Black members of her art community to discuss how people bidding on an art piece that featured a person from a marginalized group perpetuated the ogling and monetization of Black people. She gave a response that acknowledged that her piece did perpetuate this issue, because she wanted to raise awareness of this historical harm, and recognized that her intention was ignorant of this perspective. The Black community also acknowledged that the piece itself was not harmful in any way, only that the surrounding issue that they were painfully aware of needed to be brought to light. The auction went ahead, and the piece sold for ~$1000, all of which was donated to BLM.  I think as a fandom we should be cognizant of when a work itself is harmful, or when the intention is harmful. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don’t. Both are talking points, and we should not be afraid to discuss them, but this requires respect from all parties. We also do need to be able to recognize what is strictly fiction, versus what has real-world impacts. My askbox is always open and my DMs are open to mutuals if you would like anything clarified or expanded upon. Or, if you’d just like to discuss a topic, vent, or have any questions about my own beliefs, you are welcome to reach out. I am happy to discuss anything, as long as there is mutual respect. 

[skeleton-monarch]

We really need to talk about how unsafe it has gotten being transmasc in queer spaces is.

We’re pushed aside, told that we have male privilege, told we oppress women because of our identity, and that our oppression isn’t as bad as others. It makes us easy targets to manipulate, to abuse, to ridicule.

TERF talking points have been spread over the queer community like soft butter on warm bread. It’s melted in.

I see so many think pieces and posts about how trans men as a whole are drowned in toxic masculinity and how it harms women. How passing trans men are basically cis men. You see pieces like this

[Image ID: a cropped screenshot of an article that says:

Although they are transgender, Ashley and Man’s medical transitions have allowed them to conform to traditional standards of beauty and thus access cis-male privilege. They both fail to recognize that, as cis-passing folks, they are not in fact pushing society to accept new beauty standards. it’s more like they are implying that the trans community needs to conform to cis-typical beauty to be accepted.

End image id]

(source: https://gender.medium.com/14-1-context-of-abuse-1b14effa72aa)

I really do want to stress that these men were just talking about being openly trans and modeling. And how that was pushing the boundaries of beauty standards.

In addition to this transmascs who are abused have nowhere to go. nowhere to turn to. [links: https://medium.com/the-establishment/finding-nowhere-to-go-when-youre-transmasculine-and-sexually-assaulted-de360054cdcc

https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/07/23/op-ed-trans-men-experience-far-more-violence-most-people-assume?amp]

Most shelters who help with these issues are focused on women and only accept women, which harms all men. This part is purely an opinion and has no backing other than personal experience, but, I think this is due to a conservative-christian-turned-TERF idea, bio essentialism and gender essentialism. “All men are rapists. All men are abusers. Women are soft and pure and need to be protected from the evil abusive men.”

The online queer community is especially hostile to transmascs. Constantly downplaying our experiences. Claiming we cant call our experiences certain words. Claiming we’re talking over women. Claiming we’re raging misogynists at every turn. I’ve been afraid of talking about my own experiences, in fear of being told it’s all “misdirected bigotry”.

The other day an ex-coworker of mine called a trans man the t slur. I wonder if he has anyone to turn to when the transphobia gets too much. or if he’s isolated. And it brings up another point. that ex-coworker? He was gay. People constantly talk about the transphobia within lesbian communities (which frankly turns lesbophobic extremely quickly.) but rarely is it mentioned the extreme transphobia within the gay community. The chasers, the abusers, the plain transphobes.

None of this even touches the double standards, the misogyny, the self-loathing and self-flagellation transmascs are expected to preform, the racism inherent in these ideas, or the lack of research on transmascs experiences. but I’m burnt out and I don’t think I can read one more account of the bigotry we face. And I am not the person you should be looking towards to learn about racism.

Please listen to us and support us. We need to stop fighting with each other and start fighting for each other.

(if you shit on transfems while replying to this or adding onto it you will be blocked and reported.)

[harostar]

How do you think of how AoT handles Anti Semitism, X Men fallacy aside. I've heard of how the reason the Eldians are so Hated was a result of reprehensible things there ancestors had done, and there religon with Ymir was sort of based on a Lie.

That would seem problematic at first glance, But I did want to learn more from someone who actually knew the series. Especially as I do know the situation in real life has complexities regarding Cycles of hate

You know, I had kind of set this Ask aside and been unsure about answering it. But I think I will give it a poke, as best as I can as someone that is one-degrees of separation from Jewish folks. So obvious disclaimer that I am approaching things from an outsider’s perspective.

The series stumbled heavily in choosing to so closely use allegories related to Nazi Germany and the Jewish people. I think a large percentage of the problem is because the Holocaust has become short-hand in public consciousness for Genocide and atrocities. Those images are scorched into the world-wide mind, and unfortunately touching on it as an allegory or using it as the basis for fictional discrimination is a very, very, very messy and difficult thing. ESPECIALLY when the creator(s) involved are not Jewish, and don’t understand the deeper aspects of Antisemitism that have been weaved into Western culture for centuries. 

Isayama borrowed from European history, used a historical atrocity to create a comparison in his work. He.......made many mistakes in doing so, because it’s a messy thing to do even when you ARE familiar with how much that hatred is woven into a lot of European imagery, stories, and beliefs. A Japanese audience is probably not going to pick up on those elements, the way a Western reader might for better or worse. 

I think that decision has muddled and tainted a lot of discussion around the series. Some people outright call it “Nazi Propaganda” and refuse to associate with people that read the series. I would argue that we are the audience have a lot of digest and discussion in terms of how the “Eldian Allegory” plays in comparison to the other themes of the work. 

Because the series would have worked MUCH BETTER had he not made the decision to base his fictional ethnic group on a real one. It was a mistake that casts doubt on a work that focuses so much on themes so opposed to a “Nazi” or “Fascist” ideology.

The atrocities of the Eldian Empire simply being exaggerations and demonizing, not matching a simple history of neighboring groups/nations fighting each other for resources and land. The idea of Ymir as a Goddess or a witch that made a deal with the Devil both being false versions of what was simply....a girl. An ordinary girl that stumbled across something Otherworldly, and gained a power that was exploited. 

The history of the series is simply about one group gaining an advantage over their neighbors. The Titans served as numerous metaphors throughout the series:

Dehumanization, especially in times of war

Gunpowder 

Chemical weapons

Nuclear weapons

The largest theme that emerges particularly in the final arcs of the story are explicitly Anti-War, Anti-Imperialism, Anti-Militarism, and Pro-Humanitarian.

Hatred and Bigotry are learned, they are things that people actively have to teach their children. The most powerful counter to Hatred is simply meeting other people. Our shared humanity proves that we are more similar than we are different. 

(This is beautifully illustrated in a flashback, in which the Survey Corps are infiltrating Marley. They end up meeting a group of foreign refugees, who welcome them into their camp for helping a child. Though the two groups do not speak the same language, they are able to understand each other enough to share in a communal meal and then party the night away. Even when we come from vastly different cultures and don’t speak the same language, we can find common ground. There is a simple joy in how people are people are people, no matter what differences we might have.)

In terms of the problematic elements, I would argue that Isayama did not intend anything Antisemitism about his work. In particular, he frames the allegorical Eldians as sympathetic with most of the cast coming from this group. The story centers on their plight and spends the most time in humanizing them. Ignorance rather than Malice. It taints the work, but also clashes with the major themes of the story. 

Indeed, our common humanity is such an important theme. Hatred and Revenge are empty, only leading to further tragedy. Eren represents those emotions and urges taken to the extreme, and that is ultimately why he becomes the Final Villain of the series. Because he allows hatred to consume him, and loses hope in the world. He can only see “Us vs Them”, and cannot see a path forward that does not involve Genocide. It’s a tragedy that warns us about letting anger consume us, and the dangers of surrendering ourselves to Violence being unavoidable. Eren can see the Future, and therefore he is trapped with the belief that there are no other paths forward. That he must follow in the footsteps of his future self, no matter what. 

It’s an ugly, tragic turn that transforms the series protagonist into a Monster. Into a world-ending monster that his loved ones must now deal with, because they have learned the lessons he did not.

The thing that separates the heroes in this story is Hope, but also a willingness to recognize the futility of revenge and hatred. As the final arcs progress, they are increasingly confronted with the option to look away from atrocities or to take revenge on people. Increasingly, they choose to take a different path.

The story of Sasha and Gabi is central in this particular theme. Sasha kills soldiers that Gabi knew, and attacked her home. But she cannot bring herself to shoot a child, even one that is clearly an enemy. Gabi is a child indoctrinated into Nationalistic, bigoted views. She kills Sasha as an enemy, but then finds her world turned on its head when she accidentally meets Sasha’s family. She’s forced to confront the reality that there are no Monsters and Devils, just ordinary people just like her that have suffered tragedies because of war. 

When given the opportunity for revenge, Sasha’s father refuses. He gives the “Forest” speech, comparing his daughter’s decision to become a soldier in war to letting her go alone into the forest. He accepts her decision and the tragic outcome, but also HIS responsibility as an adult to not pass burdens of Hatred and Revenge on to the next generation. He will not punish Gabi for being a child caught up in war. 

And this becomes an important moment for Gabi and for everyone else. She is not FORGIVEN for her crime, but these people make the conscious choice to spare her. Mikasa shields her from harm, Jean regrets hurting her in anger, they all make the choice to treat Gabi as a CHILD and not a soldier. To recognize their responsibility in doing better than the adults responsible for them. They were Child Soldiers, but they make the choice that the next generation SHOULD NOT be soldiers. 

The series deals heavily in Trauma, especially the ways that War destroys people. The physical, mental, and emotional cost to people are heavily on display throughout the series. The cast have suffered emotional and mental injuries that will never heal, and they struggle with wanting a better world for the next generation.

Children are another big theme. We have the cast start out as children, becoming Child Soldiers, and eventually reaching Adulthood. As they become the adults, we have a new generation introduced in Gabi, Falco, Udo, Sofia, and Kaya. The series gets a little heavy-handed with how Children are the Future, and people have a responsibility to not burden them. To not force their sins upon the children, to not teach them hatred or revenge, to not use them as tools. 

Zeke’s storyline contrasts with Eren’s in that each brother has reached a different conclusion about the central problem. 

Zeke wants to snuff out their own future, preventing more Eldians from being born. Their lives are suffering, so the kindest thing that can be done is to kill them or prevent them from being born. Life is meaningless, because living means suffering. 

Eren takes his hatred to its most extreme, deciding that to protect his “In Group” (the Island of Paradis) that he will destroy everything else. He has taken Dehumanization and Us vs Them mentality to its greatest extreme. He sees no future where people can do better. He refuses to even let them try. He has no hope, he sees only ugliness in the world.

In contrast, we have what has become the alliance. The surviving members of the Survey Corps, the surviving members of the Warriors, and an assortment of people from other nations. A motley group of people of different backgrounds, races and political alliances that are all brought together by a singular belief that the world is worth saving. That it shouldn’t be a Zero Sum game.

That the world is very cruel, but also very beautiful.

Hatred, cruelty, selfishness, greed, militarism, nationalism, imperialism, racism, and bigotry have led the world towards possible destruction. The Rumbling as a metaphor for Nuclear War, humanity destroying itself because it cannot look for a path besides violence.

The pure Destructive urge that is Eren, contrasted against the other two parts of that Golden Trio. 

Mikasa, the girl that was saved by a single act of kindness. The strongest of all, but also so very kind. A girl that has seen the ugliness of the world, but also the goodness in it. 

Armin, the boy with a dream. The intellectual that once asked if it was necessary to abandon your humanity to win, but has realized that our shared humanity is more important. The one filled with hope, even in the darkest moments.

And of course into this, we have Falco Grice. The boy that embodies the central themes of the story: a child soldier that has seen the worst of humanity, and has decided the best way to fight is by being Kind. 

[thorraborinn]

Hi, in your answer about the concept of 'Mythic Time' you describe paganism "as an appendage of Modernity". I was wondering if you can explain more about that (or if you've written about it before) or if you can point me anywhere to read some more on this idea? Thank you!

I’ve talked around it a bit but mostly in the process of answering other things. Mapping this out is a long-term project for me and my thoughts are complicated so I’m going to narrow to one angle.

A couple years ago I started trying to get involved in face-to-face organizing against racism and other bigotry with other heathens, and in most cases I just ended up frustrated. It seemed to me that most heathens insisted on doubling down on strategies that have been proven completely useless. In my opinion, this was related to heathens acting in relation to an idea of “legitimacy”; they wanted to demonstrate that they were not dangerous, immoral followers of an arbitrary or obsolete set of beliefs and that they were rational, contributing citizens, and therefore that they were deserving of the same respect afforded to other religious communities. But how are we supposed to fight racism within the horizon of “legitimacy” compatible with a white supremacist settler state? Worse, there was always a rationalization for why those compromises were, in fact, not compromises, but rather, the proper heathen thing to do.

It might not be transparent that this is related to the actual content of heathenism, but it absolutely is. When I said “Modernity” in that post (which I capitalized to distinguish it from the common meaning of, like, the present) I mean a diverse but interrelated set of ideas about reality, life, humanity, governance, technology, progress, etc that characterizes Western civilization, with roots in the Renaissance and the Enlightenment; which analyzes human beings as individual rational historical subjects; which are foundational to modern nation states and to capitalism (and some forms of anticapitalism). Despite all of their “reject modern degeneracy” bullshit, the folkish and other fascists are also entirely products of modernity (see Zygmunt Bauman).

There’s an article that’s had a lot of impact on me called “Maya Moral and Ritual Discourse: Dialogical Groundings for Consuetudinary Law” by the anthropologist Garry Sparks. The article is about the philosophy of K’iche’ Maya people in Guatemala that underlies and informs their customary laws and the systems of signification that they use to apply it to their lives, but secondarily it’s also about the encounter between them and the settler state of Guatemala. Some years ago Guatemala came to recognize the jurisprudence of indigenous law within their communities, but there were difficulties with incorporating this recognition into the national laws which are based on the same set of universalist liberal democratic principles as other western states are based on. The Maya were required to represent themselves in a way that makes their customs legible to the state. One of the ways they did this was by using philological, text-critical, and archaeological methods to demonstrate that their customs were genuinely older than European contact.

Now, I’m glad they were able to do that successfully, and (obviously) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using philology and archaeology as a way of learning about the past, but the fact that it was required in order to make them legible to the state is an operation of colonialism. But the reason this is relevant is that it also appeals to the exact same value system that modern heathens and pagans uphold, and in fact, it’s actually the best or maybe even only thing we have at our disposal since the people we’re attempting to dialogue with have no living members outside of smaller-scale (but important) living folk traditions. This is most obvious with recon but not exclusive to it, not only because non-recons also make historical claims, but because at the end of the day it isn’t actually about the well-formedness of the historical argument, it’s about performing expectations, and the well-argued historical position is only needed when something falls outside of those expectations, and they serve to reintegrate the deviation back into modern western value systems, to make it legible. When this operates on colonized people, it’s demanding proof of blood quantum in exchange for recognition (in my area, Indigenous nations have been stripped of their status by a state-appointed “genealogist”); it’s repatriating artifacts to state-recognized Indigenous institutions instead of the actual family they belonged to; it’s believing that Haiti is poor because the people there are backwards and not because of puppet regimes and other interventions on behalf of capital; it denies Black people the level of humanity afforded to white people.

Its operation within heathenry doesn’t have all these consequences directly but there is a serious danger in elevating this sort of value system to the level of religious import (though frankly, the way American heathens treat Scandinavians, while obviously not rising to the level of the racism I just described, very often actually is tokenizing and patronizing). But again, our starting position is here, we are dependent on it to have any meaning at all, and that’s the central problem.

I talked a bit about how I think our contemporary values condition the reception of runic divination here: https://thorraborinn.tumblr.com/post/620723624681308160/probably-a-dumb-question-but-why-do-you-think

So by “an appendage of modernity” what I mean is that modern pagans’ experience of their own religion is mediated by modern systems of signification that alienates them from their actual goals. What we should be doing instead is emphasizing the contradictions between them to the breaking point. But of course, there’s something missing from this formula -- how do we do that if, as I said, we begin in a state of dependency on the epistemological tools of modernity? Is it possible to use those tools to build something distinct from it and which can challenge it?

Well first of all, this is kind of already happening somewhat within Norse academia. I’m not sure how many heathens are aware of how much Norse studies scholarship has advanced in the last decade+ but it seems to me that Norse Tumblr actually is aware of this and following it better than other concentrations of heathens on social media. The more we know about pre-Christian Norse people, the more we realize how diverse and internally conflicting they were, how difficult it is to even define the boundaries of what we’re talking about when we say “pre-Christian Norse people,” and how different they were from both us and what recent centuries’ conceptions of them. This helps, but isn’t sufficient.

Heathens say “we are our deeds”; I know this is considered cringy now due partially to its origin but I think it’s approaching something true, that we don’t believe in universals or in eternity, or in identities that exist in a vacuum. We believe in events and we identify with our actions. What we are isn’t an unchanging essence but a concatenation of events that condition future actions, verk mér af verki verks leitaði. This is very different from liberal heathen “anti-racism” that consists mostly of signalling static identity attributes such as that we are “aren’t racist,” and expecting this to have any actual impact on the world (the folkish are in no way thwarted by a rainbow hammer icon and signalling that you are “one of the good ones” only benefits yourself, not victims of racist violence). The path to a collective heathen self-creation is joining our customs with organized struggle against the capitalist settler state in solidarity with and accountability to the colonized peoples who have been victimized by liberal nation state ideology. It isn’t just that this is good, and heathens should do it because it’s the right thing to do, but our existence is actually dependent on it. That’s how we kill the colonizer in our heads. Until then, our relationships with our gods, ancestors, and each other will always be mediated by the alienating ideologies of late liberalism.

[alifeasvivid]

The Idea of America

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been listening to the audiobook of “These Truths,” a political history of the US by Harvard history professor, Jill Lepore and... actually knowing the history and not just the propaganda has changed much of my perspective.

It’s made me realize that this country has never not once in its entire history lived up to its ideals. We have always been marred by in-fighting, violence, slavery, and genocide. Where we are now is not the most insane that we have ever been, though it’s kinda close.

And whether or not I’m proud to be American, I am invested in the idea of it.

So this may be the last moment I have to wax poetical about, I may have to eat these words in the coming days, and I’d ask that you just let me have this for right now. 

feels under the cut

Because as I learn more and more about our history, I see the wounds and the scars and all the horrible, unforgivable things we’ve done and will in all likelihood continue to do...

But I see people who risk their lives to come here (including my family). People who leave everything behind, knowing that things won’t be any easier here. That they will face discrimination and hardship, possibly deportation and death. People beg for asylum from my government, knowing it probably won’t be granted even though it should be.

Why? Why do they want to come to this terrifying dystopian mess where people care more about guns than children? When there’s nowhere to turn if you’re sick and have no money? Where your labor is sure to be exploited even if you aren’t an immigrant? Why come here when there are people who hate you just for existing?

And on that note, why does the LGBTQ community keep fighting for a place in the public sphere? When we can’t even get people to agree that love is love, why are us trans people so delusional to think we can be ourselves ever and be recognized? Why do we stay?

And for people of color, whose experiences I won’t speak on at length of course, but whose existence here is so reviled that the very structure of public life is rigged specifically to exclude them... to erase them... to kill them... why do they stand up and fight? 

Our foundation is rotted. Our structures are cracked. The people in charge are cruel and violent, as they have always been since 1776.

So why?

Because we all believe in that dream--the dream that if we’re here we can have a say and make a difference. We all believe in that dream we got sold as kids... that this is it. This is where you can make your way. This where you can be free. This is where you can change things for the better. 

Whatever happens, whatever you do, keep fighting. The violence, bigotry, exploitation, and death that define our past absolutely cannot be allowed to define our future and anyone who insists otherwise must be censored. 

A nation governed by the people is an experiment still on-going and so far the evidence isn’t good. A place where every person is free and equal is lunacy. Our ideals are heavy and impossible. For that reason we have to keep fighting because we can change. If we carry those ideals together, they won’t be so heavy. We have to stand up every time we are asked to do so and even when we aren’t because America is not great.

Not yet.

But we can be. 

[belonglab]

Gaslighting: A Tool of Oppression and Exclusion

by Alisha Patel, Communications & Research Fellow at GenLead|BelongLab

February 2, 2021

“I don’t see color.” This is one of the most common phrases people will use to defend themselves against accusations of racism. It isn’t the best, but at least it’s not explicitly racist, right? In a culture where calling out institutional and systemic racism feels like an ongoing battle that’s fought tiny steps at a time, that phrase feels like an adequate place to start. However, this phrase is actually a form of racial gaslighting, and its acceptance only perpetuates stereotypes and the racism we are trying to fight.

Gaslighting in general is a form of manipulation and psychological abuse where the perpetrator convinces the victim that they are imagining or overreacting to abuse. Over time, this can solidify the perpetrator’s position of power over the victim, turning it into an ongoing cycle of abuse. The effects of gaslighting are extensive-- the victim will start to second guess themselves and their judgments. While this form of manipulation is often talked about with regard to personal relationships, it can additionally be used to to cloak bigotry like racism.

Racial Gaslighting

Racial gaslighting often is used to excuse microaggressions in all forms. It can invalidate someone’s experience of perceived racism by subtly denying their feelings and emotions, excusing implicit comments meant to demean or discredit them, or even excusing explicit attacks on them. Its effects are grave; it subtly reinforces and sustains racial and social hierarchies that inevitably hurt minority groups. Not only does racial gaslighting allow stereotypes to continue, but it also degrades the victim’s sense of self and teaches them to invalidate their own instincts and judgments.

For example, imagine if someone had experienced racism in the workplace and attempted to tell a fellow coworker about the incident; instead of empathizing, the coworker reassured the victim “it couldn’t possibly be racism,” “it is all in your head,” or “you’re too sensitive.” Statements like this place the perpetrator in a position of power and control under the guise of morality, while undermining the victim’s experience as lesser-than. In turn, the victim can develop feelings of anxiety and depression as they start believing they cannot trust themselves and cannot express their emotions outwardly. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Roberta Babb, racial gaslighting also, “overtly and covertly erodes a person’s sense of self, self-worth, agency and confidence.” Thus, racial gaslighting feeds internalized oppression and Imposter Syndrome.

Racial gaslighting is so common that it is sometimes difficult to tell when it is happening, and it can even be unconscious or unintentional. Normalized phrases like “I don’t see color” seem to mean well at first glance, but in actuality serve to invalidate the struggles of a minority group while erasing the group’s lived history. It tells the listener, quite unequivocally, “I am not racist. What you are perceiving as racism on my part cannot possibly be racism.” Phrases like these are un-nuanced and oversimplified takes that may have been accepted in the past, but as we learn more about deep and entrenched racism, we see they are outdated, insensitive, and quite frankly, racist.

This type of manipulation often is used by mainstream media and people in power, ingraining its use in our culture and further highlighting the power dynamics underpinning racial gaslighting. Think of Donald Trump and his response to protest movements through the past year: On one hand, he refused to condemn Neo-Nazi protestors, saying there were “fine people on both sides.” But he mischaracterized Black Lives Matter protests calling for an end to police brutality as thugs and threatened them with the National Guard, warning “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.” He then mischaracterized the white supremacist, violent insurrection he incited on January 6th as a march, declaring his love for the insurrectionists. According to Trump, white supremacists are allowed the benefit of the doubt and could possibly be good people at heart. Yet, those in support of black lives are automatically dangerous and should be perceived as a threat. With these statements, Donald Trump at once validates the platform of white supremacists while invalidating black lives in the United States and negating the idea that racism is a problem; he normalizes the presence of white supremacy while revealing the inability of the country to acknowledge its inherent racism and bigotry. Anyone witnessing photos and images of how the BLM protesters were treated versus how the white supremacist insurrectionists were treated at our Capitol can see that racial gaslighting has deeply permeated our country systemically and is a problem that outlives the Trump presidency.

Gender Gaslighting

Also problematic is gender gaslighting, where a woman may not feel comfortable voicing concerns about sexism because her concerns are automatically dismissed. Consider a woman -- let’s call her Jana -- who has been working for a company for many years and is very qualified for a promotion. Yet every time Jana expects to be promoted, a man is given the promotion instead, even though he has had less time at the company and is not as qualified. Jana may attempt to discuss this with her boss, but he insists it has nothing to do with her gender; he tells her she is overanalyzing the situation and being over-sensitive. While it is possible that Jana’s boss could be telling the truth, it is more likely that her gender is in fact playing a role in not receiving a promotion, as this pattern has repeated multiple times. However, Jana has learned that she does not have a space to speak up about this sexism, will likely be negatively judged for speaking up and thus have an even harder time getting that promotion, and therefore most likely will not attempt to speak up again. This is the same situation that is seen with racial gaslighting-- the cycle will continue for Jana, and her emotions may inevitably turn inwards, convincing her that she is not qualified for any promotion and deserves to be limited to her current level.

COVID-19 Gaslighting

We even see gaslighting around COVID-19. As a college student at a very urban university, the pandemic has shaken up every single aspect of college life. Though my school has adjusted as best as possible (we are tested twice a week and receive our results within 24 hours; most classes are online and if they aren’t, there are usually less than five people in-person, all socially-distanced; so on and so forth), interacting with other students and people my age really reveals the mindset around the pandemic.

As the pandemic has raged on, it feels as though people have accepted its presence, or stopped caring altogether. It’s a stark difference from the first lockdown in March, where it felt (at least for the most part) that everyone was on the same page. But now, instead of staying inside and mitigating the impacts of the pandemic, it feels as though it’s now a matter of working around the pandemic to do things we used to do. Those who are still staying inside have become more of the minority than the majority, and are sometimes gaslighted to feel overly paranoid for continuing to take the pandemic seriously. This gaslighting is clearly very harmful to society as a whole, as it simultaneously perpetuates coronavirus while undermining common sense and the empathy to care about the collective nation.

COVID gaslighting can exist on a small interpersonal level. Consider a situation where two friends want to get together, but one is insisting on following social distancing regulations while the other is suggesting to abandon them altogether. The one wanting to abandon social distancing may claim that they have both been isolating themselves since the beginning of the pandemic, and it is unlikely that they could infect each other. They may go on to call their friend overly paranoid of the virus and accuse them of not wanting to get together. Though this is not actually the case, the friend who was attempting to follow COVID regulations is made to be the villain, which is a common gaslighting mechanism.

Even worse, COVID gaslighting has been perpetuated by some people in power, who can afford to preach a careless and selfish mentality around COVID-19 because, even when they contract the virus, they have the money, power, and resources to combat it. Meanwhile, they continue to manipulate the American public into believing that COVID is not something to be taken seriously.Their followers adopt the same invincible mindset, but it is clear that they -- and most other average Americans -- are not in the same situation and do not have the same money and resources to combat COVID if needed. The situation is even worse for identity groups that have been historically oppressed.

Many Black and brown communities are disproportionately affected by COVID-19: African-Americans deaths are two times higher than would be expected for their population, and it is the same for Hispanics and Latinos. On the other hand, white deaths from COVID are “lower than their share of the population in 37 states.” These disparities result from institutionalized and systemic racism (fed by racial gaslighting) that has been snowballing since our country’s inception.

Combatting Racism by Contending with Gaslighting

It is in no way, shape, or form the victim’s responsibility to attempt to change their gaslighter’s behavior. Instead, it is important for us to create safe spaces for these victims to be heard and validated. Thus, putting a stop to gaslighting begins by looking inwardly at our own behavior and preconceived biases; particularly, if you find yourself recognizing some of the behaviors symptomatic of gaslighting, it may be wise to engage in self-introspection and attempt to accept some responsibility. Though some gaslighting may be done unintentionally or what you believed to be well-meaning, it clearly is still harmful and must be mitigated. To confront the biases that may underlie your possible gaslighting of others, you can also take this online test that examines and assesses internal biases that you may not have even noticed (it takes about 10-15 minutes). Attempt to challenge these internal biases, and pay attention to how they affect your interactions with others.

Additionally, be prepared and open to truly listen to and learn from other people and their experiences, and focus on increasing your awareness of others’ circumstances. These steps can begin the process of acknowledging gaslighter responsibility. By first starting on a personal scale, we can expand this introspection to a larger scale and begin holding the racist systems in our country accountable.

If you find yourself a victim of gaslighting, it is important to safeguard your mental health. This can be done by taking a step back from the situation and removing yourself from the environment to consider the hurtful behavior and resulting emotions. You can write down your thoughts to affirm your judgement as valid and for reference if necessary. It also can be helpful to talk with other members of your identity group and share experiences like this. Affirmation from others with similar circumstances can validate your experience of harmful gaslighting and remind you that you are not alone. This can help you to trust yourself more as well as recognize the gaslighting as it is happening.

In the moment gaslighting is occurring, it is important to call out the behavior publicly (when possible and safe to do so), showing the perpetrator and others in proximity that the behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Further (again, to the extent safe and not harmful), you can talk one-on-one with the perpetrator to discuss the behavior, making sure to describe the behavior and why it is harmful. Setting boundaries (e.g., taking a step back, removing yourself from the situation, as described above) will help to loosen any grip the negative environment or perpetrator may have on you.

As an ally, it is important to help support victims of racial gaslighting by helping to call out the unacceptable behavior, as well as creating a safe space for victims to express themselves and be heard and respected. Make sure that what you are doing is not self-indulgent or performative, but rather is truly helpful to the victim and in their self interest.

Combatting racism in a present day context is not an easy task -- it is extremely complicated and has far-reaching and entrenched roots in the United States. That said, the task should begin with dismantling the practices that perpetuate racism on interpersonal and societal scales. By recognizing racial gaslighting, it is possible to disrupt stereotypes and racial hierarchies, while also offering the historically oppressed, excluded, and marginalized a safe space to speak and be heard, which uncloaks hard truths from underneath imposed false narratives. Those who insist they don’t see color are not seeing people of color and their lived experiences.

Without seeing the hard truths, we are unable to address them.

[thewitchofthenorsetrilogy]

i don’t use “hate” lightly but i absolutely hate that alt-right groups are taking nordic symbols for themselves, and i didn’t realize it was as much of a problem as it appears to be. I’m also rather upset i didn’t know more sooner, because i have an Algiz tattoo. didn’t know it to be anything but a tube of protection and healing. do you have any suggestions for norse pagans who want to take back our symbols from these hate groups?

Don’t fret! I have an Othala and Algiz tattoo.🖤While it’s certainly important to recognize where our imagery is being misused, we definitely shouldn’t stop using it. When a symbol becomes too closely connected with a racist movement, it becomes theirs – it belongs to the racists and eventually, it’ll be seen as a symbol of hatred. Ultimately then, the symbol is removed from common cultural use.  Now is the time to step up and show the world the true meanings of runes, especially since we are in a time where these symbols are being bastardized. If we do not fight this, then white supremacists will continue to perpetuate the message that Nordic paganism is evil, no matter who is practicing it – which is simply not the case. So, how can we reclaim our runes and images?

When talking about Norse paganism talk about our stand against hatred. Make it known that racism, transphobia, homophobia, anti-semitism, misogyny, ableism, and bigotry are not tolerated in the community. Make it known that everyone is welcome to participate in Norse paganism and worship the Norse gods if they choose to. Norse paganism is an open religion and the gods hold no prejudice.

Raise awareness about viking history/culture and make sure it’s known that anyone is welcome to participate and enjoy it. Does your town/state have a yearly Viking festival or reenactment?  Go to it! Invite your friends to it, your loved ones, share posts about it on social media so word gets out there is an open-to-all educational, fun space about Norse history. The more interaction non-Norse pagans have with a healthy, welcoming community, the more often that’s what we will be associated with.

Wear our symbols with pride! If someone asks about one, be open with it’s true and original meanings. Let them know why it’s important to you. When someone I worked with found out I got a bindrune tattoo that incorporated Othala they asked me, “isn’t that a nazi sign?”. I was able to tell them no and how the The U.S. National Socialist Movement were the one’s to misuse it, informed them of the original meaning, and they were happy to change their perspective of the rune. I also like to literally where Pride Symbols. I have a rainbow Mjolnir bumper sticker I made for my car. The more our imagery is tied to support, the more people will realize we want to offer support to everyone.

**It is extremely important to note if you’re going to be wearing Othala or any of our symbols currently tied to hate that you wear something to offer your political stance next to it(i.e. blm badge, LGBT flag, anti-fascist pin, GNAR pins, etc)**

This leads to my next point, learn about when which symbols were appropriated and when. If we want to keep our holy symbols free of bastardization we have to know who, when, and why they were appropriated. That way we can better inform others of how recently they were “changed” and for how long in history they had their own meanings.

Actively fight hatred. If we want people to believe in our community is a safe one for everyone we have to be vocal when you see hate within the community. If we just let it slide – on any scale – we’re part of the problem. We have to be vigilant and actively do our best to be allies to every marginalized group of people.