#learning disabilities in adults

[tomatisaustralia]

Determining Learning Disabilities

All parents want the best opportunities for their children to be successful. Often, the first step in this process is to make sure their child receives the best education possible. For some kids, this might not be as easy as it seems.

A child's ability to learn can be hampered by a variety of factors, with learning disabilities being a common one. Learning disabilities may impact a variety of topics, including science, maths, reading, and writing.

These difficulties might not seem like much at first, but if they are not resolved over time, they could have a big effect on your child's future. A neurological condition that affects a person's capacity to understand and react to information is known as a learning disability.

All types of learning, including spoken language, maths, reading, and writing, might be hampered by learning difficulties. They may also make it more difficult for someone to focus, organise their thoughts, or recall details.

Therefore, a person's social life, relationships with friends and family, and job may all be impacted by learning difficulties. Learning disabilities can range widely in severity and are often undetected until a kid reaches school age. Some people have trouble with only one of these skills, while others have trouble with several of them.

It's critical to realise that learning disabilities are not the same as mental retardation or intellectual disability, which are both indicated by low IQ. Contrarily, differences in the way the brain processes information lead to learning difficulties.

The majority of those who struggle with learning are intelligent, if not exceptionally so. Their brain structure prevents them from processing information in the same way as other people.

Although there is no known treatment for learning impairments, individuals with them can benefit from early intervention and specialised education to help them develop the skills they need to lead happy, productive lives.

Visit Tomatis Method Australia to find out more about learning impairments in adults and children.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[enbycrip]

One common experience of disability all across the board - relating to everything from learning/intellectual disability to neurodiversity to physical impairment to chronic illness - is the way that “one little thing” can make everything - work performance, school performance, ability to communicate etc - go right off the rails and collapse.

This is an issue I frequently see abled doctors, therapists, psychologists, teachers, social workers etc speaking about in terms of “poor flexibility”, “need to teach resilience” etc etc, focusing on this as an issue *with the disabled person.*

And that illustrates absolutely *perfectly* why a) disabled people are the experts in disability, not abled “specialists”, and b) why the social model of disability *needs* to be taught and centred.

The issue in such circumstances is not some sort of “innate preference for rigidity” (you may laugh, but that’s a phrase I sadly *still* see used about autistic folks far too often) or even “innate widespread lack of capacity” in the disabled person. It is a symptom of a system - in this case, a disabled person’s *life* - that is under immense strain and operating without spare capacity available to be used to respond to unforeseen circumstances.

Disabled people are, almost universally, *master* adapters. Incredibly adept at adaptive thought; incredibly resilient and incredibly dogged. We are that way because we *need to be* to survive in a world that is incredibly ill-adapted for our needs. The reason we are *perceived* as “inflexible”, “rigid”, “fragile”, “incapable” etc etc is because we are, very very frequently, *already* operating at the limits of our capacity just to survive in a world that is incredibly hostile to our needs and to our existence.

The medical model of disability judges all people to exist in the same world under the same circumstances, and thus judges the disabled person to be “lacking” when we struggle. Thus the onus is put on *us* to “correct” this “lack”. “You need to build resilience”.

It is the exact same mindset that blames people living in poverty for their lack of available resources, and suggests “budgeting classes” or “stopping spending money on avocado toast and Netflix” instead of recognising the need to raise wages to liveable levels in low-paid work and provide genuinely affordable housing. Focusing on, and *blaming*, the individual rather than recognising the systemic injustice and the desperate need for systemic change.

“Resilience” as long-term quality more or less means “having the resources to put into dealing with unexpected difficulty while still maintaining other functions.” Whether those resources are time, energy, money, family or community support - if a person does not have access to enough of them, the system - in this case, their life - *will* become overstretched, and they *will* fail on one, or, very often, on multiple points.

That does not represent a personal or moral failure. It represents having access to insufficient resources to meet needs. It is genuinely that simple. And that is what needs to be addressed for disabled people to live and thrive.

[imaginmatrix]

“Percy Jackson would be a marine biologist” “no he’d be a fireman” “no he’d drop out of school” “no he’d—“

Everyone be quiet that man got his degree in social work and specializes in advocating for children with learning disabilities and rough home lives while scoping out potential demigods. He’s not gonna let any child, whether they’re mortal and dealing with a Gabe or half-god and dealing with monsters, feel like he did.

[nonconstories]

Someone pissed me off a couple of days ago

So! Below are several links to programs and foundations that promote adult literacy! Hundreds of millions of adults world wide were failed by their education system and now must fend for themselves while trying to read contracts and hospital bills and infographics from the CDC. But they don't have to be alone, and it is never too late to learn!

ProLiteracy: A network of educators, researchers, and advocates which provides research reports, learning materials, and other support to adult education programs. They assist with connecting volunteers to local programs and provide guidance and support to community leaders trying to use their programs' findings to advocate for social and political change.

Adult Literacy League: An adult education program in Central Florida, which aims to provide students with one on one attention to foster growth and confidence. It also offers English Second Language courses and job skills training, and each new student receives a comprehensive assessment to determine the best plan for them.

Saint Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center's Foundational Skills Program: A 100% free adult education program aimed at adults reading below a fifth grade level. It operates year round and is either in person or remote, and they now have a GED testing center that is open to students and the public alike.

Washtenaw Literacy: A free network of trained tutors for adults in Washtenaw County, Michigan.

Adult Learning Program (Las Vegas/Clark County): Free education classes to those lacking a high school diploma, those seeking to learn ESL, and adults who read below an eighth grade level. Also assists in students' search for gainful employment. Nevada got so fucked by COVID and the education/literacy numbers in the South West are grim. Please help these guys.

Hawaii Literacy: In addition to helping adult residents of Hawaii Island learn to read and write AND bridging the education gap in Hawaii's underserved children, they offer computer literacy classes, ESL classes, and a bookmobile. 1 in 6 Hawaiian adults struggle to read and write.

[spectrumgarden]

Okay so I've never really joined the whole "small talk" argument that's been happening increasingly over the last years because I tend to just not agree with anyone I see discuss it. Like no I dont think people who use it are evil or making things hard on purpose, I also dont think it makes them lesser, ... I Also dont think that someone who refuses to use it / cant use it is automatically worse and will not make friends.

Importantly i also dont think everyone can learn it. I should know because I spent multiple years with professionals trying to teach me how to have a conversation At All and I still am actually nowhere near what would be expected at my age group. (Most recent reports usually go something like "makes slight improvements in having a two sided conversation" - because I can say nothing, or I can ramble on and then not react to your answer. The rest? Struggle time, to this day, in every aspect) No matter how many intricate guides you write, if I fail at the basic concept of a conversational structure very frequently then I will not succeed at small talk either. And additionally I also genuinely can not tell what might be too personal for this other person.

A lot of these people who get upset when people say "I cant do small talk because I'm autistic and I cant learn it, I tried and failed" and go "of course you can!", just sort of like. Ignore that a lot of the developmental delay in conversation and / or (nonverbal) language never closes up for many of us, the way a lot of us generally never reach the developmental level of our peers (in some areas). and it's not because we have not seen enough complex flow charts or not practiced enough. when so many of us literally spend so much additional time of our youth sitting in front of whiteboards and workbooks and such, being explained over and over how to talk to someone at all. I am 22 and after years of explicit teaching I still have to ask for verbal confirmation and explanation of any nonverbal cues that I think were used by my conversational partner, but do not know what they mean. Which is pretty much all of them. And I probably miss a lot of them existing at all. You can scream "just practice until you can recognize the other persons little cues on if they want to deepen or end this" until you turn blue but it will not actually make me accomplish it if the fucking people who've been spending their whole life teaching it didnt make me figure it out. On account of, you know, the developmental delay.

Sure some people can learn! That's why they try to teach us after all! Cause it has been successful! But generally stop with this shit of "everyone can learn this you're just choosing not to!"

I will never be rude to someone for engaging in small talk, I will obviously fail at their attempts to engage me in some, which usually makes them stop trying (thank god). But I will not tolerate others talking shit about it that is uncalled for (implying malice from every user, making fun of people who seem to crave it, ...).

But I also do not care to learn it anymore at this point? It's no goal of mine. I have made multiple friends, most non autistic, without ever using small talk. Including in adulthood. We simply skipped that stage. We went from "hi!" "Hi!" Immediately to "heres when it went wrong in my life (humorous but still often dark / personal). Also these are my political opinions. Sure I want to hear about the girl you dated for years in excruciating detail. Let me retell you the plot of this old indie movie you will never watch for 20 minutes and why I enjoy it. Let's go to a concert together after talking slightly in depth like this twice". Is this the way that you creep everyone out in everyone's friendship acquisition theory I've been seeing? Sure! It's been working perfectly fine, enough of the times for me, though.

Will this work in like a work environment or something? Most likely not, which is why I generally plan to keep to myself. Does this mean I still confuse every stranger who approaches me trying to small talk? Sure. that's why I'm still fucking disabled. But I have created meaningful relationships as an adult without small talk. I have genuinely tried learning in many ways and failed. And I'm done apologizing for that, either you take me with my inability to small talk or you wont.

[notexactlyrocketscience]

Mini “Should I consider whether I may actually have ADHD?” masterpost:

“The lost girls: ‘Chaotic and curious, women with ADHD all have missed red flags that haunt us’ ” by Noelle Faulkner for The Guardian

“The Lost Girls of ADHD: Getting diagnosed as an adult hasn’t been the relief I thought it would be” by Kara Eva Schlegl for Human Thoughts

“ADHD Is Different for Women” by Maria Yagoda for The Atlantic

“Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story” by Jessica McCabe for TEDx

“Should You Be Assessed for ADHD?” by Dr Stephen Humphries for Harley Therapy

Bonus: “The Results of My Brain Scan” by Laura Clery

There are a growing number of similar articles and resources that you can easily look up now, but the above list, starting with the first article (shared by a woman of colour friend with ADHD), is how I dove headfirst into a rabbit hole in January 2021 that's become a years-long journey.

I grew out of my selective mutism and into an incredibly organised student as a teenager, but my productivity and focus quickly went downhill halfway through twelfth grade before I took my IALs.

The first time I considered having ADHD was in August 2019, during my freshman year in university. After a friend (who grew up with far more prominent mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety that affected her grades) shut me down saying I was probably just “demotivated” instead, I quickly dispelled the thought. I didn’t want to be yet another neurotypical person trying to use mental health issues as an excuse for my laziness. I grew up with crippling, alienating social anxiety, and it had gotten worse with my move to the US for university—I wondered if I might have autism; I had always been so different from other kids. But I didn’t get a high probability on the free quizzes on the internet, and that had been the end of that.

I didn’t know at the time what masking was, and how ADHD and autism symptoms can overlap—how the two are often mistaken for one another. I didn’t know that ADHD can present differently in women and people of colour because of the environment we grow up in, and because of how we have been excluded from medical research from the moment of its discovery.

In Bangladesh, we’re expected to grow out of our neurodivergence, which is euphemised as personality quirks. There is a great stigma around having children with disabilities, and around mental healthcare in general, so parents often live in denial about their neurodivergent children. There is a very stereotypical view of how a child or adult with autism is supposed to appear, and about the occasional “hyper little boys” that will usually grow up to become quiet, calm, mature and shy. Girls are raised in an extremely regulated, structured environment with high expectations. We begin developing masking skills from the moment we develop a sense of gender.

If you are struggling to understand yourself, look up your symptoms. Do a deep dive. Ask your friends—multiple friends. Trust your instincts. Be patient and forgiving of yourself. There is so much more dimension to mental health and neurodivergence that may not be well-known within your community. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

[allisonmartyjarvis]

Story time: So I had just recently discovered that dyscalculia (or math dyslexia) is a thing, which is a learning disability that affects your ability to do math and other number-related things. I’m definitely sure that I have it, but I didn’t tell anyone about it. I didn’t think anyone would know what I was talking about, and I’ve been out for school for a while and have never needed to use math.

Anyway, I’m working at the movies one day and I’m ringing up this woman’s popcorn order. The computers we use at the register will automatically calculate the change for you (which was a life saver for me!) But one day I hit the wrong button or something. I asked my coworker what to do and he said that it was fine, but I would just have to calculate the change myself.

Now the woman in line must have seen the look of horror on my face because she says to me “You can do it! I’m a math teacher, you can do it!”

I thought this was very sweet but also hilarious. I don’t know how she thought telling me she was a math teacher was going to help me, also I appreciated her belief in me but she has not seen me do math!

So I laughed it off and said “Yeah, numbers are definitely not my strong suit. If math dyslexia was a thing I’m sure I have it.” To which my new math teacher friend very confidently replied “It is.”

My coworker ended up doing the calculation for me and we just moved on. I am still terrible at making change and I have no intentions on practicing. But the point of this story is that I’m just glad that that math teacher is out there. Because I’m not sure how many math teachers will actually acknowledge that dyscalculia exists. For my whole life I struggled with math classes and didn’t learn about this disability until after I graduated college. If I had known before, if my teachers had known before, it probably would have saved me a lot of struggle.

So to that math teacher who so strongly believed in me that day, I just wanna say thanks. Your students are very lucky to have you.

[fecto-forgo]

btw not to be a disabled poor piss baby but the way ppl (SPECIALLY americans) treat struggling to recall things deemed common sense that you learned in school/straight up not knowing them as some personal moral failure is fucking weird lmao.every education system has a problem w failing disabled kids that cant follow along typical learning by just letting them fall behind w zero ways to catch up n my country has an issue w teenagers dropping out to support their families so they dont starve to death so it just rlyyy doesnt sit right w me when ppl claim if you cant remember some random fuck middle school class fact youre an idiot that doesnt remember bc you dont want to.i dont know how to explain to you all if a CHILD is being failed by adults to be taught smth its literally not their fault specially when in nearly all cases its bc of outside factors (i mentioned disability n poverty here but lets not forget stuff like abused kids being unable to focus due to stress or bc they lack a safe environment to study at home, for example)

idk ig my point is not everyone had a great home life w a stable financial situation n zero genetic conditions that let them get head pats from adults for being good at memorizing books, n its weird af to want to be superior than ppl who didnt have those bc its literally not our fault that as CHILDREN we were failed by adults n nowadays only managed (at BEST scenario, remember lots of ppl nowadays still cant even read bc they didnt even get the chance to do elementary) to remember actual essential basics that let us get by n not high school physics trivia.also if all those things r suuuuch big common sense idk why yall want to feel better than us for knowing them, by your own reasoning theyre completely worthless knowledge everyone has, no point in showing off you know smth like that, but ig at the end of the day its all abt feeling special for having success handed to you in a silver plate compared to the losers not born as lucky

[spookysalem13]

I couldn't agree more

[bedcorpse]

but yeah to piggyback off that post y'all have to understand that if you're not usamerican or got lucky in regards to english teachers, even writers like myself got so sick of being handed boring, surface-level interactions with media and being discouraged from anything else that ofc we hated having to explain why the curtains are blue. because it wasn't a discussion of "okay is this meant to set a tone? tell us something about the character, like is blue their favorite color? or is it meant to symbolize something deeper? what are the different ways we could interpret this?" it was "the curtains are blue because the main character is sad. we don't have time for anything else bc public schools are wildly underfunded and overcrowded depending on the district and i make like 40k a year so any differing opinions will be shrugged off at best and punished at worst."

[chryblossomjjk]

…

[enbycrip]

Honestly, the fact that people feel compelled to say how much they love the NHS before describing horrendous stories of medical abuse and neglect makes me feel continuously sick with fury and, y’know, trauma.

It needs to be possible to know that universal healthcare is absolutely essential in any society, and, indeed, be incredibly grateful that unlike too many Americans, for example, you’re not going to go bankrupt while receiving substandard and often actively abusive medical care, and yet be allowed to acknowledge that medicine in the UK as in the rest of the world is incredibly flawed as an institution, and, for example, it is systemically misogynist, racist, queerphobic, fatphobic, and *intensely* disableist to the point of being actively eugenicist, without facing abuse for it.

I’ve lost far, far too many good friends to medical neglect. I’ve got far, far too many who are only still here due to an unexpected turn of good luck amidst terrible medical neglect. I live with the ongoing effects of it myself, and, absolutely honestly, as a disabled person it’s broadly what I expect to kill me. That makes me much less angry than that the same is true of my younger brother, who is learning disabled and nonspeaking. For him, it fills me with such intense fury and grief that I mostly avoid thinking of it at all if I can avoid it.

[safefort]

Ya’ll have no idea how much this purple haired, morally grey, misunderstood scientist, Autistic, made me feel seen

“Your imperfections make you beautiful”

[bbreaddog]

I have a student who wears glasses. They’d been my student for just over a year and I had no idea they wore glasses until I rocked up to class at the start of this year wearing my new glasses every week. And then they started coming in with their glasses.

Some time a couple months ago the same student asked what my background was and when I told them, they were like “oh, that’s the same as me!” They look a lot like my cousin did at that age.

Today they pointed out the pimples on my forehead and we talked about our how we have acne in similar places—they had one on the tip of their nose today and begrudgingly told me their friends are calling them Rudolph because of it. I shared with a laugh how I used to get pimples on the tip of my nose every now and then, and how my brother would call me Rudolph too. I have a yellow silly face mug sitting right next to me right now actually that has a little red dot on its nose, like us. They laughed at that.

They’re at that age where they’re insecure about their abilities and skill level. It’s so hard to get out of that headspace once you’re in. I don’t think anyone really gets past that past high school. I wrote them a card at the end of last semester saying I’m proud of them and how I admire their persistence even when things in class get hard. Some small part of me wishes I had something like that when I was a kid but I think me doing this for them is sort of doing that in a way. Like I’m living vicariously through them or something. They haven’t made a single comment at their own expense since the card. I’m not waiting on it either.

Idk what I’m trying to say here. We’re both people living on this rock with similar experiences. We look the same. We laugh the same. We dress the same. Idk. The only difference is they’re 12 and I’m 25. We should be worlds apart. There have been so many technological advances and changes in the school system between the two of us. I have no clue what school is like nowadays. I have no clue. But I do, at the same time. I know what school is like. It sucks. It sucks so much. We should be worlds apart, but we’re not. We’re the same. Idk I’m just feeling something about this. We’re the same, y’know? We’re the same.

[housemousecooking]

Using Packaged foods to make cheaper lunches

This came to me because of a friend. As always prices are from my sister's college town and will vary.

Asian Lunch 6 servings (465/495 Calories. $15.80 for 6 servings or $2.64 Per serving)

InnovAsian Vegetable Fried Rice, 18 oz (Frozen). About Half a cup per serving. 1 package at $4.24

InnovAsian Orange Chicken Meal, 36 oz (Frozen) OR InnovAsian General Tso's Chicken Meal, 36 oz (Frozen) About 1 cup per serving. 1 package at $10.58

Great Value Steamable Broccoli Florets, Frozen, 12 oz. 1 or 2 packages depending on how much broccoli you want. 1 package for $0.98

Italian Tortellini soup 5 servings (560 calories. $9.67 for 5 servings or 1.94 per serving)

Great Value Cheese Tortellini Pasta, 19 oz. Half cup (9 servings per bag)

Great Value Tomato Condensed Soup, 10.75 oz 2 cans 2.5 servings each $0.68

Great Value Italian Diced Tomatoes, 14.5 Oz 2 cans, 3.5 Servings each $0.88

Great Value Ultra-Pasteurized Real Heavy Whipping Cream, 16 Oz Used instead of water(plus water) $2.98

Mexican Lunch 5 Servings (690 calories $8.96 for 5 servings or $1.80 per serving)

Old El Paso Cheesy Mexican Rice, 7.6 oz. About Half cup, 6 servings per box $1.98

Great Value Flour Chicken Taquitos, 19.2 oz, 16 Count. 3 per servings $4.98

Great Value Traditional Refried Beans, 16 Oz 7 servings in 2 cans. $2.00