#lessons in failure

[fanfictasia]

Angstober Day 15

Lessons in Failure

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Favorless

Instead of instantly pressing the attack, Windu turns away, going for Anakin instead. He hastily brings up his blade to deflect the purple one, and he can see that determination, that loathing in the Jedi’s eyes of what he is – so unlike what the Jedi preach to be.

Windu is using every move Anakin fuels with the Dark Side against him, though. He’s… countering it easily, far much more so than the  Kel Dor was.  He’s – he’s better than Anakin, and there’s no doubt about that.

The other three are… doing poorly against Sidious’ without Windu’s help, but if –

Windu strikes faster than Anakin can block, blade burning across Anakin’s left arm.  It’s not that bad, but it burns, and he jerks back instinctively with a hiss.

Long enough that Windu twists his blade, sending Anakin’s lightsaber flying from his hands. He steps forwards swiftly, catching Anakin’s right arm so he can’t Force-throw him or get away, leveling the lightsaber at his neck.

Anakin can feel the heat of the blade against his neck and he presses away from it instinctively, but he can hardly pull away without getting himself killed.

“Surrender,” Windu orders, a distinct note of dark satisfaction in his voice. The implications are obvious enough to not need to be voiced.

And here Anakin genuinely thought the Jedi were above things like this. He has no idea why.

They’re going to kill him anyway, and even if Anakin doesn’t have that much he cares for, doesn’t have many people alive who would miss him, he doesn’t want to die. Certainly not like this. He doesn’t know how he let himself get defeated and whatever happens next will be his fault and – 

Sidious pauses, turning towards them, expression darkening. “Or what?” he asks, mockingly, though Anakin can hear the suppressed fury, “Killing him is against the Jedi way, is it not?”

“Surrender,” Windu repeats, voice icy, and Anakin struggles against him, but there’s nothing he can do. He can’t pull away, unless he wants to get beheaded or stabbed two seconds later.

He could swear the blade moves just slightly closer, which is so totally against everything the Jedi preach, but he’s not really surprised about that.

[kakief]

What the Cracked Pot Can Teach Us About Leadership: A Business Parable

Every morning, a water bearer carried two large clay pots, suspended from a yoke across their shoulders. Each day, they made the same winding journey from the stream back to the village. Even what’s broken can bring beauty to the path. One of the pots was flawless—smooth, symmetrical, and dependable. It always delivered a full portion of water. The other pot was cracked. Along the path, it leaked…

[lemonomelette]

Lord of the Werewolves

[emmabirb8]

It really is SO funny (and meaningful, actually, if you think about it) to me that Stanley was the only member of the Pines family who was never able to be manipulated by Bill.

Stan's paranoia and distrusting attitude served him in the best way possible. Yeah, it sucks that he was basically cut off from forming lasting positive relationships up until he moved into Ford's shack in Gravity Falls, but MAN, that was kind of a small price to pay when you realize he unknowingly kept himself protected from one of the most dangerous entities in all of space-time by having that mindset and keeping his walls up all those years.

Can you imagine how fucking disastrous things could've turned out if Bill had gotten to him? Successfully infiltrated Stan's dreams, utilized his connection to Ford to his devious advantage as a bargaining chip, and used Stan for all he's worth to orchestrate Weirdmageddon his way? Ford spent 30 years hiding from Bill, constructing the quantum destabilizer, and putting all his energy into taking him out - to prevent him from meddling in the lives of those he cares about and to protect the world from his evil.

But it turns out, all you really have to do to foil Bill is just... not be swayed by him in the first place. There was NO combination of words in the human vocabulary Bill could have said to get Stan on his side at any point in the story, and tbh that's fucking hilarious.

Get fucked little man, you got outsmarted by the '''lesser''' twin, and he didn't even have to put any effort into it at all.

(And as the icing on the cake, he wrecked your sorry ass too. Smashed you to smithereens in one second flat.)

Truly tho, I think Stan is Bill's match. His equal opposing force. The yin to his yang. Essentially, when put together, they cancel each other out, lmao.

And I just know Bill will be forever haunted by that old man. He can make all the pitiful attempts to reach out from the Theraprism all he wants, but even if he were to escape someday, somehow, there is no coming back from that level of pure humiliation. 🤣

[yuwuta]

i want you to know i’m literally kicking my feet and giggling anytime you do anything yuuta related

teehee this ask is old but i’m gonna use it as an opportunity to talk more about tennis player yuuta in light of spending my entire day watching the olympics 

let’s talk about yuuta girlfailure core <3 ik i wrote a drabble about you pretending to want tennis lessons to get in his pants, but allow me to offer you this: he legitimately cannot be around you, much less attempt to be your teacher if you decide you wanna dress up in a tennis skirt. the first time he sees you in one (or worse, on the little tennis dresses) he makes up some excuse about having to take a call or not feeling well, when really he’s just in the bathroom trying to get a grip (and it does not work). 

the second time you get all dressed up for lessons from him, he pawns you off to megumi. he doesn’t want to disappoint you with completely cancelling your lessons and wasting your time, so he figures his very decorated doubles partner will make for a good stand in teacher while yuuta scurries back inside and takes a very cold shower. 

and when he finally does get a hold of himself, it’s not even like he goes easy on you bye, he’s pummeling you but it’s only bc he’s so frustrated, and unfortunately for you, tennis happens to be his outlet 😭 when you finally march you way over to his side of the court and grab him by the ear and ask him what his problem is he’s literally trying to count sheep in his head to avoid saying something embarrassing or flat out moaning because wow you look kinda good when you’re mad and him and why does the pain of you pulling at him feel kind of good and he’s wondering if he just stands there long enough if you’ll slap him and, and—

“yuuta okkotsu are you whimpering?”

“no…. maybe,” he pouts, dipping his head down to rest it against your shoulder. he can feel the vibrations of your laughter as he shamefully confesses, “i didn’t know i’d have a thing for you doing this and… dressing like that but i do.” 

“yeah, join the club, loser,” you giggle when he pulls back with a scrunched expression. you smile as you press your index finger between his furrowed brows, “the only reason i have any remote interest in learning to play is because you look crazy good while you’re playing.” 

“oh, okay…. wait—really?” 

you nod earnestly and it paints the sweetest blush across yuuta’s cheeks. instinctually you reach out to pinch them, bemused by how your boyfriend has the ability to go from hitting a ball several miles per hour to being reduced to a reddening mess at the touch of your fingers.

“yes, really,” you tell him, “but i do actually want to learn, so we’re going to have to figure out a way to do this that doesn’t involve you running away, or me getting clobbered by tennis balls.” 

“yeah, okay,” he nods, breathless, and that intense look is back in his eyes when he places his hands on your hips, “but, not now. later. i don’t want to play anymore.” 

[shallowseeker]

I was thinking about Cas's little sarcastic dig in Family Matters here ("Of course. Your problems always come first.")

Sam, and especially Dean, don’t want to be treated like they’re being babysat by Cas, yet in the early days, they often hope Cas will be endlessly available, invincible, and strong.

(And it's complicated because... compared to them, Cas kinda IS!!!)

Cas, for his part, occupies a complicated space for them. While he is given room to be vulnerable at times, he’s also relied on to be everything at once: Dean's partner in times of trouble, someone who will "be there when Sam calls" and "tear the attic up for Sam," all while shouldering cosmic battles.

The irony is even deeper when Cas gets referred to as "a child" or "a baby in a trench coat"—yet his strength, sacrifice, and loyalty are counted on without question.

(Cas is often goaded into being stronger, of course, because Dean is scared and needs that strength from Cas more than Dean needs it from anyone else, even if Dean doesn't understand why that is. And even if Cas doesn't catch everything in those references, Cas can't help but FEEL that expectation.)

///

BY ANYWAY, BOBBY. In Weekend at Bobby's, Bobby is SOOooooo parent-coded in this episode in a way that kinda parallels Cas in s6.

It's an off-key parallel, but both Bobby and Cas are expected to be there. Bobby without "selfish" complaint, Cas without visible weakness.

Their struggles often go unnoticed unless voiced outright—something Bobby, in true crusty Bobby fashion, has no prob doing in Weekend at Bobby’s:

INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT BOBBY: I – I hear you, son. I – it just ain’t a good time. DEAN (over the phone): Yeah, okay. You know what – Forget it. I mean I'm baring my soul like a freaking girl here and, uh –And you've got stuff to do. So that is – that's fine. That's fine but, seriously, a little selfish. Not all about you. [Bobby gets angry and leans forward.]

///

Dean is going through a LOT, but it's funny how like a child he comes off here. He's spinning out, and he has "no one to talk to," and Bobby's his DAD!

Dean invokes his own emotions like "baring his soul," and is clearly taken aback when Bobby isn't immediately receptive. It shows how Dean expects Bobby to always be there, without question, no matter what Bobby might be dealing with.

That’s classic "invincible parent" territory: the idea that their needs are secondary, or even non-existent.

(Aside// This is sometimes a bit how Sam can treat Dean throughout the run of the series, and how both boys occasionally treat Cas in s6).

///

And then Bobby tears them a new one!!! :D Yay!!! It's a real family moment and I LOVE IT:

DEAN (putting Bobby on speaker after Bobby tells him to go get Sam): You're on speaker, Bobby. BOBBY: Sam. Dean. love you like my own. I do. But sometimes [Bobby pauses and takes a long drink.] Sometimes… You two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met! I'm selfish? Me? I do everything for you! Everything! You need some lores scrounged up – You need your asses pulled out of the fire –You need someone to bitch to about each other – [Sam looks at Dean, puzzled.] BOBBY (over the phone): You call me and I come through – Every damn time! And what do I get for it?Jack with a side of squat! DEAN: Bobby – BOBBY: Do I sound like I'm done? Now look. I know you've got issues. God knows I know. But I got a news flash for you. You ain't the center of the universe! Now, it may have slipped your mind …that Crowley owns my soul! And the meter is running! And I will be damned if I'm going to sit around –And – and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once? Dean looks very humble and Sam calm. SAM: Bobby, all – all you got to do is ask. DEAN: Anything you need... we're there.

Hits like a tired, overlooked parent.

He reminds them he gets nothing in return from them, which is a HUGE call out to how invisible and thankless his role as caretaker has become.

Bobby’s "sack up and help me for once" is both a plea and a challenge, demanding they grow up and recognize that he, too, is vulnerable and needs support.

It's the parent figure finally voicing the toll of always being strong—for once, asking to be seen.

Dean especially is humbled here. He's been the caretaker for his family, so he gets it immediately.

How hard he was leaning on Bobby.

///

Aside/// This season, Dean's actual support group is small, maybe even consists of just Bobby and Cas. Dean is short on "Dean understanders" this season; that is, he's short on people who see his core experience as not merely a brother, but an actual *pseudo-parent. Dean is a parent of Sam Winchester: and Sam is a complicated, apocalyptic-torn person who's often saddled with shouldering waaaay too much cosmic responsibility...

...which in turn has Dean shouldering too much responsibility too!

So when it comes to Bobby and Cas, Dean puts what he can't take on them! His family!

///

But unlike Bobby, Cas doesn't ask for help.

Which... it's complicated. (And very human.)

For starters, thanks to his upbringing, Cas WANTS to be strong. He thrives and is comfortable being that. Second, there are definitely little ways Cas gets the not-so-coded message that it's bad to be weak, even if those weren't the messages Dean intended to send. (Dean is desperate for everyone to be okay, and he needs someone to want to shoulder the real, complete Dean, with all his duties and complications. And for some reason, subconsciously, Dean wants that someone... to be Cas.)

Regardless, lines like "Babies whine" and "Without your powers" dig a lot deeper than intended for Cas, because Dean didn't have the full scope of the angelic war or Cas's fears about Raphael. And even when Dean DID get glimpses of that, it didn't yield the full story.

///

For his part, Cas is keeping Sam and Dean at arm's length, trying to place them in a "these are my charges to protect" role.

Bu unlike with Bobby, who Dean firmly places in a parental role, something is trying to FUNDAMENTALLY shift between Cas and Dean.

They often find themselves eye-to-eye in the kitchen, making decisions together in a way that feels imho very spousal, creating a dynamic where Dean doesn’t quite know how to navigate this growing sense of wanting to be an equal partner with Cas.

So you get their weird push-pull power struggle between them, sniping and bitching, mirroring what happens in real-life couples early in the relationship when responsibilities are heavy and scary. It's this swirling mix of "Oh shit, I don't know what to do! And YOU don't know what to do! What do WE DO?!" And "You are such a baby / be careful you idiot / be stronger plz for the love of god"

But yeah.

So... Cas holds himself in the role of an ANGEL, remaining largely invisible throughout the season and trying his best to keep his struggles INVISIBLE too, including the war he's fighting on humanity's behalf. Cas prefers that. From a distance. Emotions are scary af; he even calls them CRIPPLING in Mommy Dearest.

(Aside///Call-forward to Mary’s: "I was trying to make things right. Just from a distance, because... being here with you was too hard. Seeing what I'd done to you and to Sam, I..." /// Mary was ashamed of her deal; And Cas was ashamed of his brothers, of angelicity itself, of what they KEEP doing to humanity.)

Anyway, Dean doesn’t quite know how to handle their strange bond, that longing, that closeness, especially as Cas insists on remaining emotionally and physically distant, trying to handle a war they can't even see.

//

As for Bobby and Cas...

While they have their moments of pushback (Bobby’s explosion in Weekend at Bobby’s, Cas’s barbed sarcasm in Family Matters), and it definitely reveals the strain they’re under...

...it often also works to underscore just how invisible their labor has become to the very people they love.

But while Dean begins to grow up enough to see and name Bobby's sacrifices, his understanding of Cas's struggle is murkier, tangled up in pride, love, and the deep, unspoken hope that Cas will always be strong enough for both of them. (Save-me-save-US-but-let-me-help-you.)

I think the thing I love about it all… is the dualistic (subconscious) desire for Cas to make everything okay versus the worry for Cas not to shoulder these burdens alone. It's SOOOOO! HNNNNNnNNnngg. It's very real.

///

EDIT DISCLAIMER: This wasn't exactly the point of this post (Bobby and Cas feeling misunderstood/underappreciated), but for completionist's sake:

Dean's grief is attenuated by the experience of being a "pseudo-parent," and definitely a caretaker in the context of "cosmic-inflicted illness," and that's a riptide that runs through season 6 in a big way. Dean needs the people he loves to SEE this aspect of his life in order to feel understood.

That's what 12x22 is all about. The thread from season 6 to season 12 is surprisingly thick! That's why this:

prefaces this: BEING SEEN

It's not a question of how fair or unfair it is, or if he "should be" or "shouldn't be" "a parent." It's about those very real efforts being seen and understood by those around him, including the grief and continued sense of responsibility this has wrought under worsening and frankly, incredibly unfair cosmic circumstances.

[mrkmciver]

I Learned

[astrogirlythings]

I wish I knew this in my early 20s:

I promise.. these advices r gold.

You don't have to achieve everything ASAP.. Take your time.. don't put too much pressure on urself about ur career. Because ur career plans / interests might change by ur mid 20s..

Self help books >>>> fictional shit .. if u hate to read.. there r always audio books on YouTube or torrents 😝.

There is nothing wrong with being or wanting to be in a relationship... All those uncles and aunties r just manipulating us into believing that it's a bad thing / taboo. (*In Indian household*).. and by ur mid 20s.. these mfs ask u.. y u didn't find someone for urself. 🙄😒. So don't listen to them.. ever.

Some men r just pussies. Girls should not be afraid of making the move. Society will look at u like u r shit... But don't be afraid of doing what is right for u. (*In Indian household*)

There is nothing wrong with having male friends.. tbh.. they r so much better than female friends. They don't beat around the bush and they r extremely honest.. do not hide them or treat them like a secret.. it's nothing to be ashamed of. (*In Indian household*)

Don't give another chance to someone who belittled u or insulted u or provoked u... They will do it again.. they r wired to be assholes.

The only way to deal with manipulative people (who make u doubt about yourself) is by... Cutting off their access to u. U r a diamond and not everyone deserves to access u.

God has a weird way of showing love... He teaches detachment before giving u what u want. If detachment happens... Just ask for forgiveness, genuinely mean it and change ur ways.

Clear, respectful and straightforward communication without involving any 3rd party / outsider... Will avoid any / every conflict / misunderstanding. It is the only way to start / maintain a healthy relationship.

When u feel off about some situation or person.. ur body will warn u.. through tummy aches or shivers...etc.,.. listen to ur body. Ur body is intuitive about energies & happenings.

Animals have the power to heal u.. just feed them and love them.

Always use sunscreen.. purchase only the best quality sunscreen.

Don't tell ur plans to anyone. Not everyone is a supporter. There are people who are mentally fucked up enough to devote themselves to ruining ur plans.

Money spent on learning something or experiencing something or eating something is never wasted.

Enemies >>>>>> than friends who r secretly ur haters. As soon as u detect ur secret hater.. cut them from ur life(*aggressively*).

To those without a parent (passed away) or with an absent parent: Don't search for ur mom or ur dad in a romantic relationship. Not only will u be disappointed af... A partner can never replace ur parent. It's common sense - Parent and partner r 2 separate people.

Don't worry about someone that treated u like an option or Plan - B (been there.. it hurts like hell).. TBH.. by letting go of those who didn't / don't value u.. u r clearing the path to find someone who will prioritize u. Be patient and be positive.

[thepersonalwords]

Our reaction to any situation will determine the outcome.

Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

[mouthtapedguy]

[kattahj]

Listening to Stevie Martin talk about how terrible she is at driving, I was all, oh good, it's not just me!

[binabadaboom]

maybe when people say it gets better, hold on until you get there, they mean stuff like tomorrow you will drink a delicious cup of coffee, and a week from now you will find a new favorite song, and a month from now you will see a child jumping in a puddle and smiling

it doesn’t stay better, but there are moments that are better than right now and sometimes life is holding on to one of those moments until the next rolls around

my moment to hold onto right now is a cherry tomato i snuck from the neighbors bush, which tasted like bacon and was probably the best thing I’ve ever consumed. it’s fading though, hopefully a new moment comes soon

[quotelr]

I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they're your parents. Because, if you're the kind of person who senses there's something out there for you beyond whatever it is you're expected to do - if you want to be EXTRA-ordinary- you will not get there by hanging around a bunch of people who tell you you're not extraordinary. Instead, you will probablybecome as ordinary as they expect you to be.

Kelly Cutrone, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You

[mrkmciver]

#Failure

[monstermoviedean]

my favorite interpretations of supernatural are always the ones about the power of love. it doesn't matter how many times the show says "love saves the world," it gets me every single time.