#like bro he was ATTACKED. BY A GROWN MAN. WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING. IN HIS OWN BEDROOM.

[matt-murdick]

I feel like we don’t acknowledge the level of trauma Remus Lupin went through when he was four and a werewolf came through his window whilst he was sleeping and mauled him. like he would have died rather than be turned if his dad hadn’t shown up throwing spells about. that shit is heavy

[summercreolefanfictioner]

headcanon: what happened during Kanato and Maya's wedding reception

A/N: Since posting the storyline about my OC, Maya Sakamaki, aka vampire doll, some of my friends have been asking me questions about what happened during the reception. You see, I posted a brief moment about it in one of the chapters of my fics in AO3, but I never elaborated.

But spoiler alert: sht gone wild haha. So yeah, here's my headcanons on what happened during the wedding. Please take note that Kino and the Mukami brothers weren't invited since it was a private ceremony. Carla and Shin were invited because they officiated at the wedding.

Here's how it goes:

Since it was a once-in-a-lifetime event for the brothers, Christa gifted them yet again another batch of those vampire juice drinks. And yes, Subaru wasn't able to escape this one. Like Ayato and Shin forced him to drink much to his dismay. What's worse? Shin brought a wine that First Bloods like to drink a lot and the stuff's waaaaay hard. Even took the initiative to mix them with the vampire juice much to Subaru's warning.

Yui didn't get drunk ofc. No matter how hard the drink is, our precious Yui never gets drunk. Maya, on the other hand, took only one sip and made a bitter face bcos she immediately detected a faint scent of alcohol

So all the bros were drunk. Even Carla and Shin!

Carla is this type of drunk who gets sentimental but unlike Reiji who cries a lot, he's the quiet sentimental. He even freaking sounds like the old man he is.

"The youth is such a lovely thing," he would say as he sips his drinks. And yes, they've lived longer than the brothers but they still get drunk. Dunno why.

Shin is an annoying drunk like he literally laughs at anything. He's not like Shuu though cause Shuu still has evil shenanigans. Shin just... laughs waaaaay hard at anything. Like every little thing he hears them say is a joke.

Ayato and Subaru are prob picking fights at each other cause drunk Subaru has turned into a more violent Reiji version and Ayato kept on talking abt violent ninjas attacking Kanato's wedding.

Ayato would also annoy the sht out of Subaru for constantly dedicating a song to Kanato and Maya so Subaru had to grab the guitar and threaten to hit the redhead with it. Shuu laughs at this and urges Subaru to just hit Ayato in the head.

Reiji ofc is a crying mess. He would be crying tears of joy bcos Kanato has all grown up. "I remember brushing his teeth when he was young cause he has a mouth full of cavities, but now he has all grown and married the love of his life."

I swore drunk Laito cried at his speech and said, "CAN YOU BE OUR MOM?!" But wait he already is

On the other hand Shuu made fun of his speech and said, "Are you sure he has grown?" And they were all laughing at his joke. Well he has grown but not in height

Kanato avoids crowds so he would prob be sitting with Maya on the staircase. Maya thinks he's just silent, drinking himself to his heart's content cause he still hugs Teddy while watching his brothers bicker. What she didn't know is that Kanato is a horny drunk.

Like one moment he was just talking to her about their wedding and the next thing he was already sniffing her. "Hmm... You used the perfume I gave you. That's great. You smell like marshmallows. Can I have a bite?"

Well, a flirting Kanato wasn't new to Maya, but he was being waaaaaay flirtier than usual, giving her those sweet, seductive smiles. He didn't even frown when she refused him or threw a tantrum. He's just like "Mmmmkay" and then he starts to show a trick up his sleeve by sneakily hugging her or dragging his finger on her exposed skin.

Ayato even has this one semi-blurred picture of Kanato leaning his forehead on Maya's, a pout on his lips as Maya tries to cover her blushing face. The story behind this is that Kanato kept on asking Maya aloud, "We're supposed to have sex, right? Let's do it now." Oh dear...

Carla would be so drunk he just fell asleep and the next thing Ayato and Shin taped him on the wall. Like TAPE. And he'll be sleeping there without even budging.

Because Ayato was feeling jealous of Kanato and Maya, he decided to flirt with Yui and do some French kissing. But the thing is, he's French kissing a vase while Yui was seated on the couch, observing him with shock.

"Ayato-kun, that is not me!"

"Shut up, chichinashi! You have no right to refuse me!"

Ofc drunk Laito removes him from the vase and lectures him. "Ayato-kun! Stop kissing the vase! You're betraying Bitch-chan and it will make her sad!"

But Ayato thought he was some evil ninja so he punched him and claimed victory.

Shuu and Shin kept laughing at all of them, even teasing the newlyweds about how to get the fire going in the bed. And since Maya was so embarrassed about the whole thing, Kanato smirked and decided to take the matter in his own hands by carrying Maya bridal style and taking her to their shared bedroom.

Shuu and Shin cheered on the newlywed couple while Reiji only cried further at the sight of them

That was all they remembered until the next morning, Kanato woke up and he was horrified at the countless hickeys on his whole body. Like from his neck down to his legs, there are freaking hickeys and he has to go to school!

On the other hand, Reiji was terrified, throwing his hands in the air when he saw their tall, spooky manor gate destroyed into pieces. What's weird is that Subaru is passed out in a bush, the lower half of his body sticking out from it.

Ayato and Laito were found a few minutes later on the balcony huddled up together. However, Yui was still figuring out how they both got bruises and bumps on their faces. What's more, there was a big tooth in Ayato's hand that resembles a fang.

Carla was still taped on the wall, sleeping soundly like nothing happened while Shin was buck naked sleeping on the floor near him.

And yes, it took them a while to locate Shuu until they found him sleeping in the bathtub filled with water. Like they even thought he freakin' drowned but he was still alive tsk bastard

So yeah here's what happened to them the previous night:

And in case you're wondering...

In a nutshell, Reiji cried at their own chaos.

[moemammon]

So how do the brothers react to an MC who’s strong enough to pick them up and just carry them around bridal style with no issues? Xx

The Demon Bros reacting to a Hella Strong GN!MC Picking them Up

:readmore:

Lucifer

Bold of you to assume he'll let you pick him up. Don't even try to get the jump on him, it's impossible. Everyone knows this.

But if you insist that he lets you, he miiiiiight go along with it. Just to see if you can actually do it, tbh.

Honestly doesn't think you've got the strength to pick up a while grown man.

But fact that you CAN lift him up with ease is just??? Haha you've had your fun now put him down right now.

Now that you confirm that you CAN pick him up, he bans you from doing it ever again. Your puppy eyes will not make him change his mind :)

Mammon

Goes from immediately holding on for dear life, to spitting out profanities in surprise-

"Wh- MC?!?! What do ya think yer- How the hell are ya so strong?!"

REFUSES to let you look at his face. It's not because he's embarrassed or anything, damn it! He was just caught by surprise! Yeah, that was it!

"O-Of course you'd wanna pick up the Great Mammon! ....But couldn't ya give a guy a warnin'?! Thought I was gonna have a heart attack!"

Kinda tempted to use you to make money. He'll set up a little booth, people can make bets on whether or not they think you can lift them... And nobody's gonna believe a human like you can pick up a demon! He'll be rich!

Levi

If you do it in public (assuming he's even outside), he might never forgive you. Let's play it safe and assume you pulled this stunt in the safety of his room.

Ngl he's gonna be jealous of your strength. HE wanted to be the one to pick you up, like in the anime!!!

So when you show off your scary strength, you've got one (1) red-faced otaku in your arms. You can hold him for thirty seconds max. Any longer and he might burst into flames-

Too shocked for words tbh. How??? Are you managing this??? Being strong is one thing but being able to walk around with him in your arms????

May or may not imagine you doing it again some day. He'll never admit that though. Put him down, you stupid normie!

Satan

When you scoop Satan up, he immediately clings to you. You caught him by surprise so what did you expect? He doesn't wanna fall-

There's a 50/50 chance that he'll either find it entertaining, or be pissed. Let's just assume you had enough common sense not to do this around other people

The look on his face is enough to tell you to put him down without him even having to say it, so he's not in your arms for long-

Clears his throat when he's on his feet again, and he's trying to act like those cheeks of his aren't burning red-

Distracting himself from his embarrassment by researching how the hell you can just??? Pick people up so easily like that. Are you really human? Are you secretly training with Beel? Is it your diet??

Might see how he can use you against Lucifer 🤔🤔🤔

Asmo

You already know this boy is all over being carried around like the queen he is. He ADORES the fact that you can lift him up with ease, all romantic like~

Asmo wants you to twirl him around and dip him low, like in the movies. He's already fanning himself at the thought! 💕💕💕

"Oh MC, I always dreamt of you sweeping me off of my feet like this, but I never knew you could actually do it~!"

What else can those big, strong arms do? 😏😏😏

Expect to be carrying him around a lot more often. He's got to show of your strength to everyone he knows! Oooh, he can already picture their faces when the two of you walk into the club, while he's being daintily carried in your arms~

Beel

He's usually the one picking YOU up, so when you pick him up for a change, he's shook-

Beel wants to know where you've conjured up the monster strength. Whatever you're eating, he wants to try it ASAP

You're a lil human,,,,, a wee creature,,, and yet,,,,

Honestly he's more amazed than embarrassed about it. Definitely not used to being picked up by ANYONE. He does ask you to put him down after a while, though-

Wants to know all the details of your workout regimen. If it's good enough that a human can lift someone like him, imagine what it’d do for a demon! Will you be his workout buddy? Please?? 🥺

Belphie

Belphie's probably lighter than his brothers because he doesn't eat much and sleeps a lot, so he's easy to lift. You catch him by surprise, but he's not even fighting it

But you shouldn't have shown him what you're capable of because not he's going to milk it at every given opportunity. Now there's TWO people who will happily carry him around??

"MC, my legs are tired. Why don't you you just carry me up the stairs?" "No? But aren't you strong enough to do it?"

He acts like he's not spoiled, but he definitely is. Tries to find every excuse to be carried by you, but most often when the two of you are alone.

Offers to carry you for a change, but then hits you with that signature "Just kidding."

Datables React Here!

[moemoemammon]

MC's Chuck E Cheese Birthday Party!

(Feat. The Demon Bros and Luke)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Did everything in his power to try to talk you out of choosing Chuck E Cheese's as your party destination, but,,, it's what you wanted, so,,,

He'll sit in a booth and watch you like a moody parent. That is, until Mammon harasses him into joining in on the "fun".

LONG, DRAMATIC SIGH,,,,, if he has no choice, he supposes he could play a few games and give you whatever he wins. 

Satan somehow managed to convince him to play air hockey, and Lucifer surprisingly agreed. Yeah he was suspicious of his gremlin brother’s intentions, but it’d probably be fine.

What was supposed to be a friendly game between brothers has turned into an all out war. Their blinding speed turns the puck into a blur, and they’ve gathered a crowd-

Lucifer wins, but he doesn’t have a chance to celebrate because someone throws a fucking slice of pizza at the back of his head

Mammon

This isn't what HE would've chosen, but he guesses it's fine. An arcade means gambling in some way, right?

Makes a beeline for the coin drop game. He loves also loves the games that give you a 20% chance of winning a jackpot of some kind and honestly?? He's fucking GOOD... when Asmodeus isn't constantly poking his sides and making him mess up.

It takes him no time to figure out the algorithms of those games and now he's raking in all the tickets. Staff is suspicious as hell

Especially when they see a grown man walk up to the prize counter with his arms full of tickets, no children in sight.

"MC! Get over here and pick out some prizes! I won all this for yet birthday, so let me spoil ya!"

Ok thank you for the hundreds of stuffed animals and cheap plastic toys Mammon

Levi

See, Levi was excited when you suggested going to a human world arcade, but he didn't think you meant.... something like THIS. Why don’t any of the dance games have songs by Ruri-chan??? What a waste...

But it's still technically an arcade, so he might as well enjoy it since he couldn't go home. And maybe he could impress you by earning a ton of tickets! These human world arcade games are gonna be a cakewalk.

...Is what he thought, until he realized that the controls were so worn from millions of children manhandling them that he couldn’t play at all! Why couldn’t these stupid normie games cooperate?!

 But the thing that finally made him snap was when a little kid told him he sucked. 

Cue Levi abandoning all moral principles and absolutely OBLITERATING this toddler at Frogger. You think he won’t go all out against a baby?? You are wrong. 

It’s not about morals, MC. It’s a matter of his pride as a gaming master, so please stand back while he makes a human child cry.

Satan

See, Satan is all for celebrating the way you want to (and he's good at pretending like he's not bothered), but he can't really say that a pizza and sweat scented arcade full of screaming children is the best place to read a book

Regardless, it’s pretty funny watching you run around like an excited little kid, dragging everyone around to the nearest game.

Then he gets the great idea of harassing Lucifer into playing air hockey with him. “It’s MC’s birthday, so why don’t we let loose a little?”

All hell breaks loose and now they’ve attracted the attention of a crowd of amazed children, all according to plan. How humiliating would it be for Lucifer to lose in front of CHILDREN?

Thought he was slick and cursed the puck to move away from Lucifer every time he tried to hit it, but somehow he’s?? still winning???

Satan would’ve been pissed off if not for the mysterious slice of pizza that came sailing through the air and hit Lucifer in the back of the head

Asmo

The tables are sticky. Everything smells weird. Children are everywhere. Everything is so flashy and gaudy that it’s giving him a headache-

This wasn’t Asmo’s party destination of choice, but... well.. it’s fine as long as he sticks to you, right? 

Also refuses to touch anything because as familiar as he may be with sticky surfaces, this ain’t it chief.

Since he’s so bored, he decides to Mammon, constantly poking and tickling him so he’ll loose at the games he’s playing, and runs away when he’s attacked

Soon enough though, Asmo excuses himself to the bathroom, thinking no one notices how he’s dragging a staff member toward the supply closet-

Eventually comes back to tell you that he set something up, so now you can get whatever prize you’d like!

Beel

Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pi-

Yeah, Beel is fine with wherever you wanna go for your birthday. It's your special day after all! So when you suggest whatever the hell 'Chuck E Cheese' is, he's just happy you're happy

Also wants to know what kind of cheese they have. Asks you if Mr. Chuck himself can be eaten. Sad when you say no....

At the end of the party, you notice that the other staff members are whispering amongst themselves about the sudden disappearance of a certain rat mascot.

Beel is sweating. Why is there stuffing on your shirt collar, Beel.

Oh man oh no, Lucifer got hit with pizza! Beel thinks he should go over there and eat it for him. Sorry, gotta go-

Belphie

Belphie wasn’t a big fan of your choice for a birthday destination, mostly because there was no way he’d be able to sleep with all the music and screaming going on, but who is he to argue against your decision?

Besides, he soon realizes that the sky tunnels are the PERFECT nap spot, save for the occasional kid crawling over him.

It also gives him a bird’s eye view of everything that’s going on, including the intense air hockey battle between Lucifer and Satan.

Hey wouldn’t it be funny if he uhhh threw a slice of pizza at Lucifer’s head lmao yEET

Seeing Lucifer’s reaction is everything he needed to turn this day into an even better one. Now he can sleep peacefully <3

Falls asleep and gets left there on accident because no one can find him

Luke

Belphie is literally blocking Luke in and he can’t eSCAPe

All he did was follow a kid into the tunnels! They looked so fun that he couldn’t resist, despite his many claims that he wasn’t a child and shouldn’t be treated as such. 

But when he saw you waving at him from one of the tunnel windows, he became determined to crawl to every window he could find and wave from there, too.

Then Belphegor came along.

How can anyone sleep so soundly?? He’s been smacking, shoving, and poking the sleeping demon but nothing is working! Time to cry-

Also gets left behind because no one can hear him screaming.

[toosicktoocare]

Going to Master List my 911/911 Lone Star fics because I think I have enough to accumulate a decent list!

911

- this one here has good, ole Buck cutting his arm on a call and not realizing until he’s half naked and Eddie looks like he’s about to have a heart attack

- this one has Buck coming down with a cold after a water rescue, and whOOPS the cold gets worse because he doesn’t know how to pace himself ever and winds up with pneumonia

- this one takes place after that damn well/Eddie almost drowning episode that was dangerously close to ruining me and has Eddie ending up sick because bro’s been through a lot okay? 

- this one happens after we learn Eddie’s been fighting for sport because his boyfriend Buck hurt him realy badly. Basically, Buck finds out and he’s nOt happy about it

- this one has Buck meeting Eddie at a hospital bc Christopher’s been sick, but he finds out that Eddie’s also sick and has to take care of both his boys 

- this one has Buck feeling anxious, sad, and insecure and just overall not having a great day and boyfriend Eddie’s the only one who really picks up on it and goes to help

- this one is a little Valentine’s Day fic where Eddie and Buck have dinner plans but dinner plans end up not being dinner plans because Buck’s sick and tries to ignore it bc [cue heart eyes] Eddie

- this one has Buck getting stuck in a burning building a little too long and he gave his oxygen mask to someone else bc of cOURSE he did and he’s a little woozy and Eddie’s a lot not happy and gets him out despite his shoulder being a little not great at the moment (dislocated; his shoulder’s dislocated bc the two can’t just keep themselves together)

- this one has some Buck and Eddie sleeping quarantining together and just being too cute and it’s really not allowed

- here’s just a little, domestic Buddie where Buck’s retelling a riVETING story about his call today to Christopher, and Eddie didn’t sign up to have two children in his house tonight

- here’s a little one where Buck’s a little sick (he’s a lot sick bc he doesn’t do things halfway literally every) and he spirals a little, so he drives to Eddie’s house and Eddie looks after him bc we stan soft in this household

- (crying) this was my first 911 fic wowowow so this one has Buck throwing himself back into work once he’s back (and we just don’t fucking discuss the lawsuit bullshit okay?) and he’s pushing himself way too hard and ends up being really not okay at Eddie’s house while he’s playing games with Christopher

- this is a sequel to the fic above so my second first 911 fic lmao it’s a continuation. Eddie’s worried. Bobby’s worried. Buck’s “fine,” grown men watch cartoons-- it’s really a whole thing lmao

- this is my most recent 3-chapter child that i spent an embarrasing amount of time on and it’s set after the crossover episode and has Buck driving to Texas right after a 24-hour shift to confide in TK about his feelings he’s having (feelings of the sexual preference nature) bc as said above he really doesn’t do things halfway and of course Eddie gets involved, proving Buck’s not the only one who’s overdramatic 

911 Lone Star

- here we have a little drabble of how I imagined TK would react finding out about Owen’s diagnosis in Season 1 bc I was having feelings, okay? 

- this is just a little Valentine’s Fic in season 1 setting where TK and Carlos are striclty NOT on a date (are they doing date things? Yes, but for TK purposes, it’s not a date)

- this one is a little drabble where TK’s v upset and might be having a break down, and Carlos is there (too soft, very sharp on the cheese in this one)

- this one’s a little drabble where someone spray paints something not nice at all on TK’s locker, and TK’s all whatever shit happens about it and his Team + Carlos is NOT HAPPY (as they should be)

- this one is a little deep dive into that whole comment TK made in season 1 where everything’s gray and he just wants to feel so, in the tornado episode, he goes toward the tornado and Carlos takes care of him after

- this one has TK getting trapped on a call and Carlos pANICS bc of feeLINGS and goes in to save him and there’s some after hopsital revelations to be made

- this one’s a little role reversal where Carlos gets hurt on the job, and TK seems like he’s the last person to find out and he’s 100% not happy and is 100% going to take care of Carlos

- this one has TK thinking he picked up a small cold from Carlos so he goes about his business but gets worse and passes out while on a call bc his single brain cell is stretched a little thin

- this one is season 1 setting (catching a trend here? lmao) that has TK kind of running himself into the ground trying to be the perfect son after he learns about Owen’s diagnosis but he disregards it bc Owen is more improtant and ends up at Carlos’s house later in the night, where Carlos very quickly learns he’s not here to vibe with fever sex

- this one has Carlos working too hard to catch a dangerous man and he ends up collapsing after they finally catch him so Michelle brings him to TK, and TK’s left to deal with a feverish, tired, yet still very much on edge Carlos 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns

Previously on BnHA: 

Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.

ouch. we knew this was coming, but still

A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”

though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS

this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??

that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this

though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it

and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there

once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback

this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself

“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN

(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)

“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”

lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away

seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”

anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well

definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep

“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??

apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time

anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”

LMAO

the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then

looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four

“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage

and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple

so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight

I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis

guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again

even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well

yep. fuck

that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it

“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man

okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids

but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves

so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about

anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam

sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...

“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”

guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/

oh for fuck’s --

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess

I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here

oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here

ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding

-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI

go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch

POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD

AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK

(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)

you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now

holy shit, actual Rei thoughts

“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol

oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part

get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE

yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich

(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)

and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”

ohhhhhhhh fuck me

LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)

I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh

I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization

and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes

oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji

SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT

oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition

goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes

;_;

well well well would you look at that

imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up

OH MY GOD

holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk

OH MY FUCKING LORD

(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)

“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR

and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then

AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality

so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕟 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕙 𝕕𝕒𝕪

≛ ft shota aizawa, ejiiro kirishima, katsuki bakugo and izuku midoriya with a black!reader.

≛genre: fluff

≛warnings: light swearing, izuku and kiri being adorable supportive boyfriends

≛a/n: honestly i’m procrastinating on chapter three, so have some soft wash day hcs with our 1-a bbys and our fav sleep deprived teacher🥺

aizawa:

having long hair himself, he’s well prepared and has virtually anything you might need

but he understands that your hair textures are so different

so he does his homework on black hair and how to take care of it

we love a s/o who educates THEMSELVES

and when wash day comes around, this man is more than ready to help

need a denman brush? he’s got it. curl smoothie? duh. growth oil? hair masks? heat protectant? rat tail combs? of course. diffuser? baby have you SEEN his hair, mans owns too many blow dryer accessories it’s almost embarrassing.

he’s patient during the detangling process, letting you take the lead

he knows how bothersome it can be to have people try to help when you’ve got a set way of doing things

so he lets you do what you have the energy to, and he does the rest

he’s so gentle, and kisses your forehead as an apology when he hits a particularly painful snag

he’s quick too, making short work of the process and decreasing it by a solid 20 minutes, which if you know the pain of wash day, it means a LOT.

he’s not a super romantic person, but he does his best to make washing your hair a relaxing experience

he’ll lower the lights, and run you a hot bath, coaxing you between his legs, sitting on the edge of the tub while he massages the shampoo into your hair slowly

his nails are blunt for obvious reasons, but he makes an effort to scratch as much as possible, and his heart flutters just a bit with how at peace you look

he focuses on the roots as that’s the only place that needs such attention and rinses with cold water to seal up your cuticles

he’d help you towel off and will sacrifice one of his comfier long sleeve shirts to help you dry your hair, since you mentioned towels add frizz and remove moisture.

he’s so good with the LOC method, applying just enough oil to seal, but not weigh your curls down too much.

always delicate with your ends

he lets you work the parts you can reach, and for places like the back of your head, he takes over, working the leave in conditioner in with ease

shota can two strand twist tf out some damn hair no i don’t take criticism

he’s also obsessed with the way your hair shrinks, though he’d never admit it

so much length compressed into gorgeous coils, he wonders how the hell does hair just...defy gravity🧍🏾‍♀️

all in all, wash days are the highlight of his day, plus it gives him an excuse to whip out the matching bonnets he gets for y’all every time he goes on a beauty supply run

katsuki:

surprisingly enough, he’s another patient one

but this is both in part to him having done his research due to his thick hair, and he’s had black girlfriends in the past

so wash day ain’t nothin new to him, when you come to him the next morning dreading what the day had in store, he’d already whipped out the box holding your shared hair supplies, towel and brush at the ready.

he can be a little overzealous when it comes to brushing out your curls, having grown up on the “you just tenderheaded” bullshit

but he makes sure to never actually hurt you, or tug too hard

he’s also a firm believer in finger detangling, opting to use the brush for your ends, and going over the section with his fingers to get out any lingering kinks

will trim what needs to be trimmed, to him length is not worth retaining if it’s split half to death💀

once detangling’s done, he’ll breeze through the shampoo section

which brings us to his favorite part: deep conditioning

he’s partial to Uncle Funky’s Daughter’s products, combining their Heal & Renew deep conditioner with the Midnite Train leave in to get you allllll the way together.

this, plus a hot oil treatment will have you ready to marry this mf on the spot🧎🏾‍♀️

he knows your hair is a huge source of pride for you, so he does his part to help keep it voluminous and defined whenever he can

does give unsolicited advice (criticism)

but knows when to pull back, knowing that nobody knows what’s best like you do

still won’t keep him from getting pissed at you for not having had a trim in 4 months tho 🤷🏾‍♀️

his strength is cornrows, he keeps a perfect grip that isn’t so tight it’ll snatch your damn edges out but tight enough to last you a while

you always find a way to con him into braiding your hair down before you do an install. how? he don’t know

he loves you, that’s how.

wash days with katsuki are so frustrating, but the both of you wouldn’t give them up even if the world depended on it.

kirishima:

i can’t think of a more supportive (yet clueless) bf

but that doesn’t mean he’s not ready to learn!

it starts when he asked you if you wanted to go out saturday, and you said you couldn’t cause you had to wash your hair

he was like ?????

let’s just go after????

and so you had to break it down to him that your hair requires a lot of attention and care that you NEED a whole day to tend to it, not just wash

he nods, face lighting up as he proposes that he just come over and help

you’re a little hesitant, as you don’t just let anybody play around in ya hair like that

but he says he’s really intrigued and he wants to learn, so you agree

he mostly just watches, not wanting to mess up your flow, but participates on some of the easier parts, like working the curling cream into your locks

he’s also really good with massaging your head while you wash, his fingers nearly putting you to sleep

his sectioning needs a little work, but it’s nothing practice can’t fix

although you really gotta catch him up on what certain things actually mean

mf nearly had a heart attack when you said the words “hot oil treatment” and spazzed thinking you was about to put ya head in some damn chicken grease🕳🤸🏾‍♀️

over time though, he gets better at things like flexi rods, and even learns to do how to do crochets (my heart just MELTED)

he even takes some pointers and gets better at taking better care of his own hair. between hero work, hittin the gym, hanging with you and having “bro time” his hair is the last thing on his mind

plus it’s dyed, so he should be taking better care of it anyway🙄

wash days with kiri are so fun tho, and you’ve even made a habit of spiderman kissing whenever you’re upside down and scrunching your curls🥺🤎

izuku:

asks!!! so!!! many!!! questions!!!

honestly is just happy to be there

wants to know what everything is, what it does, if you like it, etc.

also takes notes on what you do and how you do it so he’ll remember for the future 🥺

he’s so nervous when you ask him if he wants to help

he doesn’t wanna mess it up, your hair’s so pretty 🥺🥺

he has curly hair too, but it’s much easier to manage, so he’s wayyy outta his depth

you help him through each step though, and with some time he gets more and more comfortable

shampoo is his favorite part cause he gets to try and make your hair do different shapes (the number one hero is secretly a big ass baby...who knew)

he’s another one that’s amazed by the way your hair can shrink

he knows your hair’s pretty long, you got a blowout one time and you swear he had a mini stroke for a good five mins with the way he just....froze

he fell even more in love with your hair that day

so to see it so short just wows him

if you’ve got really short 4c type hair, he wants you to go green with him so y’all can match🧚🏾

gets really good at protective styles (especially box braids)

cause at heart he’s a hero and wants to protect everything he loves from harm

yes, that includes protecting your curls from split ends and keeping em fresh.

thanks so much for reading! let me know if you guys want more of these, and feel free to throw me a like or a reblog if you enjoyed! mwah!

[deniigi]

I love the fic you showed on Luke, Han, Chewie being kidnapped by the trio- I would love to see more! Is there a chance we might see that fic or sections of it? I hope you are having a great day!

You may see more sections of it! It’s like 30k because I have zero self control sometimes, so idk if I will post the whole thing, but snippets I can do!

I wrote a fuckin’ hilarious bit where Han tells Paz that Luke’s got a crush on Din. Paz thinks about Din’s sexuality for .05 seconds and immediately has an anxiety attack that Din feels like he’s got to hide his queerness.

He brings it up with Din, who promptly astral projects in embarrassment.

--------------

This was a reconnaissance mission now. One which Luke was again having fun on. With Djarin refusing to speak to his comrade, Luke wriggled right into the place he’d left behind and started agitating again. He goaded Djarin and Fett that he could shave hours off the current course time. Han and Chewie hung back and strategically did not back up a damn thing he said.

Paz, uncomfortable to be on any ship that was not his own, clutched at his fingers and watched Luke chasing Djarin like an underfoot puppy in concern.

“What does he want from Din?” he asked Han and Chewie quietly.

Han blinked slowly.

“He’s got a crush,” he said.

Paz’s helmet managed to blanch.

“You’re kidding,” he said.

“Yeah, your boy’s ticking every one of Luke’s boxes, I’m afraid,” Han said while Chewie snickered. “He’s already decided on a destination wedding.”

Paz rubbed a few knuckles under the edge of his helmet and looked away.

“I dunno if the Armorer’s gonna be cool with that,” he said.

Han snorted.

“Armor isn’t strong enough for him, he’s got mind powers,” he said.

Paz’s helmet turned slightly back towards him.

“The Armorer is Din’s parent,” he said. “She leads the teachings at our covert.”

AHA. Orthodox. Han had it now. Djarin was a preacher’s son.

“I don’t know what that means,” Paz said.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Han told him sympathetically. “It’s okay, though. People are more tolerant than you think.”

“I still don’t know what that means,” Paz repeated.

“You will,” Han soothed, “You will.”

--

 It was an hour before Paz blurted out, “Wait you mean he’s gay?” and Han almost cried, he was laughing so hard.

--

 This was supposed to be a hostage situation, but Paz was making this trip a pleasure cruise. He’d gotten about fourteen thousand times more awkward around both Luke and Djarin anytime they passed by. Luke had caught onto this with interest.

Han did nothing to stop him. He and Chewie finally had entertainment after hours and hours of torture.

Paz inched away.

“I’m happy for you,” he told Luke. “It’s fine.”

Luke cocked his head at him and got closer.

“No, man. Not me, sorry,” Paz said. “You got—you got Din. He’s—well, honestly the last I saw him he was like, fifteen and sort of scrawny, but you know he’s probably grown a couple muscles by now.”

Luke lit up.

“I know, he picked me up,” he said.

Paz vibrated.

“Mm-hm,” he said.

“Do you think he likes me?” Luke asked him.

Paz vibrated so hard his armor nearly started knocking against itself.

“He’s really into ancient Tusken shit,” he said. “Ask him about ancient Tusken shit.”

Luke’s eyes couldn’t get any wider or rounder. Any more of this and his pupils would start dilating, too.

“Copy that,” he said, then vanished.

Chewie whimpered and wiped tears from his eyes. Han leaned into his side and grinned so wide his face hurt.

--

 Luke took to flattening himself against the cockpit door and serenading Djarin in the other side with pleas for information about Ancient Tusken culture. Djarin was understandable baffled. He smelled a rat and refused to be forthcoming with any new knowledge.

That made Luke caterwaul louder until Fett had enough of him and locked Djarin out of the cockpit too, with instructions to ‘silence the Jedi before I do permanently.’

Djarin was now stuck out here with the rest of them. He crouched in front of Luke and they had a staring contest for a good two minutes before Djarin got up and sighed.

“You have so much energy,” he said. “No wonder Grogu likes you.”

Luke rocketed up to stand next to him proudly.

“I don’t sleep most nights,” he said.

Djarin studied him.

“I see that,” he said.

“Han and Leia say that I’m a ‘hostile’ bedpartner when I do,” Luke said with finger quotes for Djarin’s benefit.

Djarin, Han swore, was trying to think of a polite way to say, ‘Sir, I think you’re at breaking point.’ But instead he said, ‘do you like tea?’ to which Luke said, ‘absolutely not.’ Djarin told him that he had a great tea for him to try and was thereafter followed into the Falcon’s kitchenette around the corner.

Paz, in the meantime, was absolutely shitting himself. No longer able to avoid this conversation with Djarin.

“I think it’s cute,” Han goaded with Chewie nudging his ribs the whole time.

“The Armorer will not approve,” Paz insisted.

--

 Djarin had done the impossible: he’d put Luke to sleep. He delicately removed the mug of (possible sleep medication) tea from Luke’s unconscious deathgrip and asked Han where the used dishware went. That was thoughtful. Han told him to just stick it any damn place around the sink and he or Chewie would get to it.

He did and then came back to settle in next to Paz. Paz visibly experienced a rainbow of emotions. Djarin didn’t notice a single one of them. Instead, he crossed his legs and held the orange tips of one hand in the orange tips of the other.

“I wanted to apologize, Paz,” he said. “After what you’ve sacrificed for me and the kid, I should have been more grateful.”

“D—don’t mention it,” Paz stammered. “It’s—it’s the Way.”

“It is the Way,” Djarin agreed. “I think I was afraid of how to face all of you afterwards.”

Han could hear Paz’s internal scream from here.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll bet you, uh, did. It—it wasn’t the first time, was it?”

Djarin sat up a little straighter.

“No. How did you know?” he asked.

Paz shivered.

“Just a feeling,” he said. “You know, uh. Din. You don’t have to be ashamed of anything, right? You’re—you’re like my little brother. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you or anyone say anything to you. Okay?”

Awwwwwwwww.

Djarin looked up into Paz’s visor.

“Are you sick?” he asked.

“What? No. I’m. I’m saying, that if you ever had something you wanted to tell me, or you know, any of us. We’re always here to listen,” Paz said. “And to support you.”

Djarin’s silver helmet tilted worriedly.

“I already did,” he said.

“GREAT,” Paz said. “Perfect. You’re doing amazing.”

Djarin pulled back, officially disturbed.

“Right,” he said slowly. “So I’m gonna—”

“Listen, kid,” Paz said, grabbing the strap between Djarin’s chest and back plates and dragging him back down to sitting. “Think about your parent.” He took Djarin’s hand from where he was actively trying to escape and held it in a firm, masculine grip. “She loves you, you know that.”

“Paz, I’m panicking,” Djarin said outloud.

“And she was so happy for you to have a foundling,” Paz carried on like plough. “So she’s gonna be happy for you, no matter what.”

Djarin could not pull his hand out of Paz’s grip, and boy was he trying. He’d started a cool descent to the floor, he was trying so hard.

“I know,” he grated out.

“But a jedi, Din?”

“He can’t help it, man,” Djarin said, still struggling almost on his back now. “You said it yourself. It’s a born-with-it thing.”

Paz stared forcefully at his knuckles.

“You’re right,” he said, letting out a slow breath. “But if that’s how it gonna be, you really should propose first.”

Djarin’s helmet somehow managed to emote ‘shock’ on the ground there.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked. “I barely knew her.”

“Her?” Paz asked, then caught himself. “Sorry, sorry. Not my business—”

“It was like, a week at most—”

“Not my business.”

“And yeah, she had a great kid and—”

“Wait, wait, hold up,” Paz said. “Who are you talking about?”

Djarin stared.

“My friend? From Sorgen?” he said. “Who are you talking about?”

Paz went very still.

“You’re fuckin’ some gal on Sorgen?” he asked.

“No?” Djarin said. “I mean. She wanted to, and I thought about it, but it was only a week, and I didn’t want her to feel like I’d used her only for—who are you talking about?”

“The jedi,” Paz said, pointing at Luke’s languid, curled up self on the table’s bench.

“Why would I be fucking the jedi?” Djarin asked. “He’s my son’s teacher, Paz.”

“Because he’s crushing on you?” Paz asked, equally upset and confused. “And you’re gay, so?”

“I’m what?”

“Gay????”

“I am??”

Han was crying. Han was sobbing.

These idiots were days of comedy. Look at them go. Look at ‘em spin.

“Din, please. You don’t have to fake it. I support you—”

“I didn’t ask for your support?”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of—”

“I’m not ashamed.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m picking up some strong feelings. And I don’t want you to think that—”

“Paz, what I want more than anything for you to do right now is to stop thinking. I’m not gay.”

Paz pressed a hand against his helmet like he was in physical pain.

“But the way you always looked at Teyo,” he said.

Djarin had a tiny stroke and slammed his fist into Paz’s arm.

“DON’T MENTION—”

“What the FUCK, brat?”

“HOW DARE YOU—”

“Why’re you yellin’ at me now??”

“Why’re you bringing up some childhood shit, haven’t we done enough of that already?”

“Why’re you so mad? I’m tryin’ to be supportive. If you wanna fuck the Jedi, fuck the Jedi. I’m just sayin’ maybe don’t tell the Armorer until after you’ve done it, so she doesn’t think you’re under some kinda mind-trick or somethin’, alright?”

Han no longer needed those helmets. He had these characters down. Djarin was gaping now. In shock and offense.

“Never speak to me again,” he decided.

“Bro,” Paz said.

“NO.”

“Karkin’ hell, Din. What’s your problem?”

“Excuse me, I must drown, where are your facilities?” Djarin asked Han directly.

“Round the corner, on the left,” Han told him.

“No, no, no,” Paz said, grabbing Djarin by the cape and dragging him back. “We gotta talk about this. We gotta process.”

“I’m not processing shit with you,” Djarin said. “I am not fucking the jedi.”

“But you want to,” Paz deduced.

“I—what? Wh—do you want me to have relations with him? Did I miss something?” Djarin asked.

“I want you to feel supported,” Paz said.

“I don’t. I feel targeted,” Djarin said. “Stop targeting me.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

“Good. Let go.”

“But if—”

“Paz, I’m going to behead myself.”

“If you do want to have sex with the jedi, later. That’s fine. Or anyone else. That’s fine, too.”

“BOBA.”

Behold. A breaking point.

--

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT Oneshot: Sweet Sixteen

((This scene just popped into my head, aaaaand I don’t feel like writing anything else atm so- hope you all enjoy))

It wasn’t often that the lair was bustling early in the morning; the Hamato-Jitsu family stayed up late, and often slept in even later. But on certain days such as these, only one person was allowed to sleep in...

At about 7 a.m., all activity was quickly shushed as silent shadows crept towards a specific room - a bedroom with red-tinted walls thanks to the small lamp that was still lit. They could hear quiet snores, and grinned to themselves as they snuck inside.

Still somewhat asleep but awake enough that his ninja senses were reacting to certain noises and scents, Raph snorted a bit and turned over as he began to stir from his slumber. He instinctively hugged his teddy - he had chosen Dr. Huggenstein the night before - close and tried to bury his face in the back of its head, hoping for just a bit more sleep.

And yet, his mind was slowly starting to wake. He could smell something fruity and buttery near. He could hear quiet giggles and quiet steps padding across the floor of his room. And, despite his eyes being closed, he could still somewhat ‘see’ figures coming closer and closer, until they were standing right in front of him...

With his curiosity now too much for even his sleepy mind to ignore, Raph opened one eye, and-

“SURPRISE!”

The snapper flinched, startled as he sat up and nearly throwing a punch at his ‘surprise’ - although this was anything but a surprise attack, and due to expecting it, his family easily stepped back, avoiding the hit expertly as they laughed. 

Donnie and Mikey threw bundles of red and green confetti at him, and as Splinter held up the stack of strawberry and chocolate waffles, Leo leaned over and placed a plastic “Sweet Sixteen” tiara right on his big brother’s head. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you~!”

Although he groaned a bit at being surprised by one of their family’s longest running traditions (again. You’d think expecting it would be enough to STOP him from freaking out), Raph still smiled as his family sang and clapped. 

When they finished, Raph naturally invited them all in for a group hug. “D’awww, thanks guys.”

“No probles, Big Brother.” “Happy birthday, Raphie!” “Heh, seems like we got you pretty good this year, huh?”

“Ugh, only ‘cause I was in a deep sleep!” Raph argued, pouting only a little, “I’ll be ready next year.”

Splinter just chuckled at his boys, shaking his head. He hadn’t expected this Birthday Morning tradition to last sixteen years when he started doing it when they were all tots (albeit with less screaming involved, at first) but he was sure glad that it had. “Here,” he said, handing the snapper his breakfast, “Best to eat them before they get too cold and soggy.”

“Right, don’t wanna lose that crunch,” Raph agreed, quickly digging in. Although they still had their own breakfasts to prepare, his brothers and father kept him company as he ate. Honestly, Raph appreciated that just as much as he appreciated the breakfast itself.

Naturally, they discussed Raph’s ‘birthday wish’ plans for that day first - another family tradition, the birthday boy (or girl, in April’s case) gets to decide what they all did as a group that day. For his Sweet 16, Raph had decided on some sparring with Frankenfoot, go-karting at Albeartoland, a small shopping spree at Teddy Bear Town (gotta spend that bday money somehow) and capping off the night with a three-hour wrestling special that was premiering on TV (after presents and cake, of course). 

His bros approved of all these ideas, and after texting the schedule to April and CJ, they gave her approval too.

Afterwards, the brothers moved on onto talking about past birthdays, followed by Leo, Mikey and Donnie all talking about the plans that they had for their upcoming birthdays. But as fun as this conversation was, Raph couldn’t help but notice his father growing quieter the longer it went on.

Eventually, his brothers excused themselves to both grab their own breakfasts and give Raph some space to get ready for the day. (The guy didn’t even have his bandana on yet! How embarrassing - or at least it would’ve been if there was anyone but family there). The only one who stayed was his pop, sitting there as content as ever with a soft, slightly bittersweet smile on his face.

“...Everything alright, Pops?” Raph finally asked, once he had polished off his waffles.

“Hm? Oh yes yes, I’m fine... So, how are you feeling, my son?” Splinter asked, “Sixteen is a pretty big milestone, after all.”

“Heh, I’m good. ...Honestly, it doesn’t feel all that different from fifteen” Raph replied. Thinking about it, he added, “Maybe ‘cause a bunch of stuff has already happened in the past year?” He was now officially a year older, yeah, but it felt like he had already done plenty of changing and growing before then.

Who would’ve thought that he would be given mystic weapons (and later mystic powers), learn about his dad’s past, take down several city-ending threats, meet the spirits of his family, and become a hero alongside his family and friends all before his next birthday? That whole situation was... pretty crazy to think about. Amazing, yeah, but definitely still crazy. In that sense, maybe a more normal and lowkey birthday was just what he needed.

Raph was brought back to the present when he felt his father patting his shell. “Yes, you make a fair point... Still, this birthday is just as much an accomplishment as anything else, and certainly worth celebrating properly.”

The old rat sighed a bit, closing his eyes for just a moment. “You boys are growing up so fast... Before I know it, you will be all grown up. You and your brothers...”

“Aw, come on, Dad...” Setting his plate to the side, Raph pulled Splinter in for a one-armed hug. “We’re always gonna need ya, no matter how old or grown up we get.”

“Heh, I know...” But it was still admittedly nice to hear. “Still, you cannot blame me for being a bit... well, a bit shell-shocked as it were whenever I think about how far you have come, Red. I remember when you were all small enough for me to hold in my arms, and now-”

Splinter stopped, his eyes widening as if he realized (or maybe remembered) something - something apparently funny enough to make him laugh. “Did I tell you- ah, no, I wouldn’t have... Well, no time than the present. Want to know something about the day you were born?”

Raph’s eyes widened at the suggestion, more than a little surprised at his dad’s sudden openness about that day, which Splinter supposed he should have expected, considering previous reactions to anything (or anyone) relating to it.

“I know I do not always-” or ever- “talk about the day I was mutated, but it was not a completely bad day.” He smirked. “I got you boys that day, didn’t I? Heh, you were all so tiny and cute! And you-” Splinter laughed again, and while he was still a bit surprised, now Raph was curious about what was so funny, and how did it involve him?

“Okay, so- this was before your boys were- yourselves. Back when you were norm- ah, average turtles. I was picking you all up, looking at how cute you all were and, well, at one point I decided to give you a kiss on your little head - and you know what you did in return? You bit me!”

“Pffft-!” Raph brought a hand to his mouth, hiding his laughs. “I did not!”

“Oh yes you did!” Splinter shot back, grinning now, “Bit me right on the lip! And I am pretty sure I still have the scar to prove it, somewhere under all this fur. Oh, I was so mad! Heh, but only for a few seconds. It is cruel to be mad at a baby, after all...”

His expression softened a bit as he thought about what happened next. Although Splinter was sure that he would always have mixed feelings about what happened that day and the transformation he received, he would always see the creation of his sons as a blessing that he would always be grateful for.

“Once you were all yourselves, I did all I could to get you boys to safety. And when I held you and your brothers in my arms and saw you all looking up at me... I knew that I would never be able to let you go.” 

Even before he began calling them his sons, even when he still only saw them as ‘innocent creatures’ and had no idea what they would eventually become, they were still his. And they always would be. 

“You have all grown so much that day... And I am not just talking about size, although you especially have certainly gotten bigger.” Splinter looked up and smiled at his eldest. “You are strong, and brave, and so kind... You are more of an honorable man at sixteen than I ever was, and I am so, SO very proud of you, Raphael.”

By this point, Raph’s tears were already beginning to fall, but the snapper could hardly care about that. He just brought his rat dad in for another hug - one that Splinter happily returned. When he eventually felt his son’s grip begin to loosen, Splinter moved to stand on his tip-toes and moved his tail towards his son’s head.

Understanding what he was getting at, Raph lowered his head, allowing Splinter’s tail to lift up the silly tiara as his dad planted a kiss right on the center of his head. “Heh... Happy birthday, my son.”

Wiping his eyes, Raph nodded back. “Thanks, Pops.”

“Oh please, thank YOU for not biting me again.” 

The two shared another laugh, staying beside each other a bit longer. When Splinter did finally decide to leave, he made sure to grab his son’s plate to take back to the kitchen. “Try not to come home too late, I’ll be sure to have supper waiting for you all when you get back. But make sure to enjoy yourself today too, okay?”

Raph chuckled, nodding again. “I will,” he promised - easy enough to do, considering it already felt like a great day. Splinter gave him one last smile before walking away.

As he put on his bandana and his wraps, Raph continued to smile to himself. Maybe he didn’t feel any different than he did at fifteen, and maybe in comparison the days where he escaped a Battle Nexus or fought a dark armor, a birthday wasn’t THAT big of a deal.

But maybe his dad was also right. Maybe it was still an accomplishment that he was a year older - that he was still there, still living and still right beside his family, even after a less-than-normal ‘birth’ and everything that came after. 

Maybe that really was worth celebrating, especially when that celebrating was done with the people that actually made his life worth living.

Speaking of which- “Hey, Raph! You still in there?” “Come on! We’ve already got the dojo set up, and we’re pretty sure Buddy’s just gonna start punchin’ stuff if you don’t get in here!”

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming - and you guys better be ready!” Raph shouted back, grinning. 

With his wraps, belts and bandana all now on, he grabbed his sai, spinning them a few times before sliding them into their holsters. Once that was done, he happily raced out of his room and ran towards the dojo, more than ready to seize the day - seize his birthday - for all it was worth.

THE END

[angelthebedsheet]

Can you do a modern zuko x male reader where they vlog their day or they go on vacation. It’s okay if you can’t

a/n: ahhhh thanksies anonnie! i’ll try my best. zuko and m/n are camera transitions kings, i also have no idea on how airports work bc i’ve never been to one 💀💀, for their hotel room think of it was one of the waikiki resort hotel rooms w/ a balcony, i had fun with this!! lemme know if yall want a part 2!

lets get it yall!

“Hello, Zuko here. Welcome back to our channel. So tomorrow we’re going to Hawaii and we’re gonna take you guys with us.” Zuko said as he shot finger guns to the camera. “Right now, M/N is in the bathroom packing the last bit of his things. He’s a procrastinator.” Zuko commented. “YOU ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T WAKE UP AT 5AM TO EVEN START PACKING.” M/N’s voice yelled from the bathroom. “He’s a liar don’t listen to him. He’s hangry.” Zuko said as he smiled.

“I’m hangry?” M/N walked to him. “Hey hey wait.” Zuko said as he turned the camera to record him. “C’mere. Imma teach you a lesson, boy.” M/N said as he rolled up his sleeves. “No wait you don’t haVE TO.” Zuko squealed as M/N threw him over his shoulder. “PUT ME DOWN!” Zuko yelled as he banged his fists on his back. “Nah you can’t talk mess like that and expect me to not attack you.” M/N teased as he walked out of frame. Zuko yelped as M/N dropped him in a chair. He started tickling him. Zuko busted out laughing. “B-Babe no!” Zuko exclaimed as he rolled the chair back. He slid back into frame with M/N tickling his sides. “Shut up and feel my wrath, pretty boy.” M/N cackled as Zuko squirmed around.

“I’m gonna piss my PANTS STOP.” Zuko cried out between laughs. M/N stopped and pressed a kiss to his lips. Zuko hummed with a soft smile. “We’re gonna edit that out?” Zuko asked. “Keep it in. They deserve to see how cute you look when you laugh.” M/N said. Zuko scoffed and slapped his arm. “Shut up. My image will be ruined.” Zuko said dramatically. “What image? You realize our fans have edits of you smiling and laughing?” M/N said as Zuko looked at him. “They do?” He whispered. M/N snorted. “Yeah they do. You’re on Twitter everyday, Zu. What do you think those profile pictures are?” M/N whispered back, amused. M/N watched as Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. He started laughing when Zuko’s face dropped. “Cut the camera, deadass. I’m an idiot, hold on.” Zuko whined as he ran a hand down his face. M/N kneeled down laughing. “It wasn’t that funny stop itttt.” Zuko said as he used his hand to cover his face. He gently kicked M/N’s side, causing him to wheeze.

“I’m turning off the camera. See you guys tomorrow, I’m tired of getting clowned.” Zuko mumbled with a small smile. “It’s just that you looked so fucking confused, I couldn’t handle it.” M/N cried. “Bye.” Zuko said as M/N raised his hand to wave. He covered the camera with his hand.

—————————-

M/N uncovered the camera with his hand. “And we’re back at the asscrack of dawn. It’s M/N here. Our plane is at 6am and we’re up at 3am. I already hate life.” He said as he wiped his eye. “Same here. Also why are you still wearing that bandana you can put on your durag. Isn’t that better for you?” Zuko commented as he looked at the f/c bandana. “Nigga why you still wearing that shirt you can put on your hoodie. Isn’t that better for you?” M/N said as he looked at Zuko. Zuko scrunched his nose and pushed M/N’s face away. “This is why we don’t speak early in the morning. His mouth is so rude.” Zuko whined. “You fell in love with me because of this mouth, sir.” M/N said. “Shush.” Zuko said as he covered M/N’s mouth. “Kinky.” His muffled voice said. Zuko groaned and wiped his hand off on M/N’s hoodie.

“I hate you.”

“Stop lying to yourself. You love me.”

“Yeah.... Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?? Guess I’ll just run away then.”

“Have fun.”

“You’re an asshole.” M/N chuckled. Zuko hummed with a smile. “But please change that bandana you look goofy with it.” Zuko said. “Garsh.” M/N commented as he set the camera down. He ducked out of frame and went to grab his durag. Zuko fixed his messy bun and threw on a hoodie. “Is that mine?” M/N asked from out of frame. “Yeah. Cry about it.” Zuko said, earning a pillow to the face. “Bitch.”

“Hoe.”

“Slut.”

“Cougar.”

“Whore.”

“Dumbass.”

“Clown.”

“Oh we’re talking about ourselves now?” M/N said with a false sense of surpise. “Low blow you lil shit.” Zuko grumbled. “I’m leaving you and asking Sokka to come with me instead.” He said. “Tah. You think Sokka’s gonna wake up at 3:30 in the morning on a Saturday? He’d skin you alive.” M/N commented. “Somewhere in the distant he woke up sneezing.” Zuko said dramatically. M/N chuckled. He picked up the camera and adjusted his backpack strap. “Autobots roll out.” He said, making Zuko rolled his eyes. “See yall in the airport, teehee.” M/N said as he held his hand up. “Did you have to say teehee like that.” Zuko said. “Stop shitting on my parade before I fart on your pillow.” M/N said. “You’re disgusting, why do I date you?” Zuko grimaced. “Because you’re stupidly in love with me and you’re whipped for my stupid ass.” M/N sang.

“N. e. ways. Before I was so rudely interrupted by this big baby—”

“I’m NOT a baby.”

“Uh I’m not finished—”

“I’m a grown MAN.”

“Oh my god, can you let me do what I need to do.”

“Go on.”

“Okay damn. As I was sayin—”

“I just think—”

“I’m gonna beat you with a tiki torch, Zuko. Shut UP. Let me do the fucking transition, fireboy.”

Zuko bit his lip to hide his smile. M/N huffed before smiling at the camera. Zuko waved. “See y’all in a few!” M/N said before covering the camera with his hand.

——————————

Zuko uncovered the camera. “Well hello there again. We’re in the airport now. It’s too bright in here.” He said quietly. “This tastes like shit. Like it makes me depressed even drinking it but caffeine.” M/N said as he grimaced at the taste. “I told you to not buy that brand. You don’t listen.” Zuko commented as he balanced the camera ontop of his suitcase. “It’s not even brand coffee.” He mumbled. “What is it then?” Zuko asked as he fixed his bun. “You wanna try?” He asked as he handed him the cup. Zuko took a sip and gagged. “That’s gonna give you some type of heart disease what the fuck is that? It tastes horrible!” Zuko exclaimed as he pushed the cup away. “Just a shit ton of caffeine shots and 5 hour energy.” M/N said.

“Jesus fucking christ. How do you drink that crap? Give that to me. I’m getting you actual coffee so you don’t die of high blood pressure before the age of 50.” Zuko said, snatching the cup away. “Zukooooo.” M/N whined. Zuko stood up. “This is basically gasoline. As a matter of fact, no more coffee for you. I’m supposed to be the coffee addict but this here is death in a cup. I’m getting you go gurt or some shit.” He said as he left. “He’s a hater he just took my gasoline.” M/N whined. He sucked his teeth and grimaced. “It was pure fuel. Can you get high off of caffeine? I mean it is an adrenaline.” He said as he fixed his durag.

Soon Zuko came back with a water bottle and a smoothie. He sat down. “Drink some water to wash that god awful mix out.” Zuko said, tossing it to him. “You couldn’t hand it to me?” M/N mumbled as he opened it and drank some, swishing it around his mouth before drinking it. “What flavour’s the smoothie?” He asked. “Piña colada.” Zuko said as he gave it to him. “But aren’t we gonna have that in Hawaii?” He asked again. “Stop complaining before I take it.” Zuko groaned. M/N shook his head before drinking the smoothie. “See you guys soon.” Zuko said, covering the camera.

———————————

There was a montage of Zuko and M/N, going through baggage claim and boarding the plane before Zuko turned the camera to face them. They waved at the camera. Zuko covered it again.

———————————

M/N uncovered the camera. “Hey girl hey, I’m in a plane.” He said. “That was awful.” Zuko grumbled as he adjusted his seatbelt. “When will you brighten up? Is it because you’re pastey?” M/N asked. “Pastey? I’m not pastey.” Zuko said. “You need some vitamin D? The sun? That good ol melanin? Cuz your panties are in a twist.” M/N teased. Zuko only rolled his eyes.

———————————

M/N recorded the plane taking lift off. There was a monatage of the plane getting higher and higher off the ground till clouds started to show. He turned the camera to show him and Zuko. Zuko rubbed his eye and waved. M/N only smiled and pressed a kiss to Zuko’s cheek. Zuko closed his eyes and smiled. He covered the camera.

———————————

He uncovered the camera to show Zuko hugging his arm while sleeping. He cooed. “See how cute he is when he sleeps? Lil chubby ass cheeks. Lookin like a dumpling. I can’t even turn on my laptop because he’s hugging my arm. He’s just so....” M/N trailed off to fondly smile at him. He pressed a kiss ontop of Zuko’s head. “Since I’m editing this video before it comes out y’all gonna see some real mushy shit because we are simply two stupid guys in love. I know some of y’all just gon eat this shit up. See y’all in Hawaii.” He said softly before covering the camera.

————————————

Zuko uncovered the camera. “We’re in a car and M/N’s out like a light.” He said as he showed M/N’s head on his shoulder. “I like him when he’s quiet sometimes. S’nice. Forgot to mention we’re in Hawaii now.” He said as he showed the scenery that passed them by as they sat in the cab. “I can practically feel the jet lag so we’ll probably stop filming after we show you our hotel room and continue tomorrow.” Zuko said, leaning his cheek ontop of M/N’s head. “We’ll be back.” He said before swiping his hand down the camera.

———————————

Zuko’s hand swiped down the camera revealing their shoes walking down the sidewalk. There was a montage of them walking into the hotel, checking in, going up the elevator and walking to their room.

——————————-

“Time for the big reveal.” M/N said as he held the keycard. Zuko hummed as he swiped the keycard and opened the door. They gasped as they looked at how cute the room was. “Bro... this is...” M/N said as he held the door open for Zuko. He walked inside showing the camera the whole room. “Cute.” Zuko mumbled. “Better than our room.” M/N said as he closed the door. M/N placed his luggage in the corner of the room and plopped down on the bed belly first. “Holy shit, Zu baby come HERE.” His muffled voice said. “Why what happened?” Zuko asked as he went to sit on the bed. “Oh my god.” He said.

“I know. Yeah no we’re gonna sleep and cuddle the rest of the day cut the camera.” M/N said as he turned to lay on his back. He kicked his shoes off and pulled Zuko down. Zuko squealed before he moved his head to lay ontop of M/N’s. He kicked his shoes off. “Welp. We’re gonna knock out. Bye.” Zuko said with a smile. M/N waved and covered the camera.

[fixeddawn]

Boy do I love this blog so, so much.

Was there a New Moon in the AU? Or did Bella put a stop to that nonsense immediately.

(Spoilers for the story Clotho (The Moirai Saga) ahead, beware!)

Edward: "Okay so what had happened was-"

-Bella and Alice appear, shoving him out of the way with a squeak-

Alice: "GURL YOU KNOW HE'S STILL AN IDIOT."

Bella: "I- ugh, I tore him a new asshole when he told me he didn't actually love me, and he got me FUCKED up, but he still left. It was rough, especially when my powers started acting up and I started having panic attacks and meltdowns. The wolf pack over here is a bunch of different families, all somewhat Irish, they're descendants of the people of Ossory. Jakes grand-dad immigrated here in the 60's. Actually, OI, JACOB-"

-Jacob shoves into the room, but knocks his head on the doorframe on the way in.-

Jake: "FUCK. Finally man, the Boyz can talk!

Bella: "Eagan (Embry) Got you saying that now too, huh?"

Jake: "Ye, it's funnier. Anyway, shit happened WAY different than in the original plot line. Bella and I still got to be friends, and she hung out with my fam a lot, we have massive bonfires cause my dads the youngest of eight kids.

I helped her find her own place actually! My auntie had a 2 bedroom 2 bath house for rent cheap and she took it on the promise of painting it and shit. Of course then she got mixed up in all of our chaos, especially with the pub my dad runs in town, we got the Blacks, and the O'Clearys and the Udys, three old bloodlines. Bella actually found out about the pack by accident, I uh...I had a massive crush on her and she wasn't ready and stuff got tense and I just...poof, y'know?"

Bella: -makes exploding hand gesture- "Poof."

Jake: "Paul didn't like it at first but she became a member of the pack, we don't really imprint like...romantically, it's super rare, but mostly we imprint familial-y, Bella kept helping Emily cook and clean up and deal with a bunch of rowdy guys. (we got put to work too, don't worry) And she just meshed. She also became our field medic. It got so bad that if we weren't at The Farm, we were probably sprawled out on Bella's living room couch and floor, passed out.

Bella: "It was like snow white and the 7 goofy werewolves, it was great. Leah disliked me at first, but she still went through that thing with Sam, so she was struggling. We actually bonded over the whole "Fuck having a supernatural Ex" thing. Girls gotta support each other, you know? She and Emily also made up with a little time. When I was having my nightmares, facing all the shit that was going down alone and helpless, I told her about them. She's a professional kickboxer! She's fucking badass!! I begged her to train me and kept shoving cash at her until she let me hire her. I was USELESS at first, but she ran me hard, and eventually I could even hold my own in a fight against (human) Seth! All the while, Jake here was finding it hard to keep it in his pants, but he was really my rock, I tried to do everything I could to support him through his change and the aftermath, but it...well. You know who I married. -she cringes, Jake puts an arm around her shoulder for a rough squeeze and a small smile, obviously forgiving-

Jake: My crush was hard man, it still is low-key, (J: 👀 B: 😑) but...well, her panic attacks were still coming. And one night we were dancing, and I...well..."

Bella: "We kissed, I was so desperate to move on, feel something else, but I panicked. It wasn't right."

Jake: "She bolted from the party, ran into the woods, I remember screaming, and then this awful earsplitting sound, and a shockwave.

Bella: "....I kinda, blew down like 30 square feet of the forest around me. Thats when I realized all the popping lightbulbs and shaking surfaces weren't earthquakes...but, well, me. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had. So now, my vampire Bf dumped me, my best friend is a werewolf, and I can fuck shit up with my mind on accident when I'm highly emotional. Queue complete mental breakdown."

Jake: "...Then the redhead showed up."

Bella: "Victoria...she killed my coworker, my friend, horribly, gave him the same injuries James did to send the message. We realized she would start going after the people I was close to if she couldn't get to me. I pretty much hunkered down at The Farm after that, the pack did rounds and tried to protect so much land...I was terrified someone was going to get hurt. When she attacked The Farm, we were blindsided. She caught Seth around his chest and almost crushed him. I was terrified, I managed to use one of my "Bubbles" to blow her away from both of us so I could get him to safety and reset his ribs."

Alice: "And all 𝘐 saw was victoria closing in on Bella from above for a third of a second, when she let out her bubble, so, ofc, I thought she was dead and immediately bolted back to Pullman. Everyone else came too, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper... We were so shocked Victoria went after her and 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴.

"We found out, when we arrived at her apartment and she was still alive and being guarded by werewolves, that it was because my dumbass brother never gave her my goodbye letter, and lied to both sides about his intentions for what happened that day in the woods. He told the family he was going to tell her the truth, that he was going to take himself away from the situation and see if she couldn't move forward, if she couldn't have a human life. Not that he was going to lie to her that he "found out it was infatuation and not love" or whatever the fuck the Drama-King decided made sense. -steps hard on Edward, he squeaks mournfully-

"Emmett and Jazz were about ready to hunt him down for not giving her a way to contact the family, Esme was devastated that Bella thought we'd just abandoned her, Rose was...well, rose, and Carlisle and I were dissapointed, (mine was more on the murder side tho.)

Bella: "We really didn't think it could get much worse, but Edward's creative."

Alice: "Rose calls him to tell him Vicky killed Bella, because EMMETT NEVER FUCKING CALLED HER. Edward flies into a fucking rage tantrum and ofc, goes to italy. When I told her what was happening, Bella was 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥, like, walls shaking, lightbulbs popping pissed, and tbh I kinda wanted to see her kick his twink ass."

Bella: "...The emotions were wild. Rage, betrayal, relief, fear, it was such a jumble. When we got there, saved him, and got passed the volturi, we stayed overnight- well, over𝘥𝘢𝘺 in one of the dorm room things. I was still in my funeral dress and nylons and had lost my shoes, so they let me shower and sleep. First however, I laid into Ed. I wasn't going to carry the weight of "if I accidentally die, I'm gonna be the fuckin reason Edward is taken from his family too." Especially not as a Human. I informed him he was going to come home, apologize, take his lumps, and cope. He was a grown ass man and he needed to act like one and clean up the mess he made."

Edward, from the floor, muffled: "Safe to say, I learned my lesson. My self flagellation and pity-party was immature at best, destructive at worst. I apologized to Bella and my family, and did not yet ask for forgiveness, just for the opportunity to prove that I 𝘩𝘢𝘥 learned something from all of this."

Bella: "...We didn't get back together at first. I couldn't trust him, and he obviously did not trust me or my feelings. But I still loved him. When he was there for me and recognized/supported my autonomy, over a little bit of time I was able to trust him again. I think we both grew a LOT during the experience, and while it sucked the whole time, it was also a catalyst for better things to come. Jake was upset, at first, but we had a long and hard talk. Honestly about what I was able to give to a friendship and if it would be enough for him. He eventually decided, that it was. We still bro's. He even made friends with Edward."

Jake: -Grins and steps on Edwards head. Edward growls and rolls over to drag him to the ground. The boys play-wrestle in the background, though it looks less playful than others. Growling, gnashing, and the word 'fuck' is heard often from the fray.-

Alice: "Idiots."

Bella: "The Cullens and the wolves actually bonded as Esme and Sam strategized about the newborn war. We're not "natural enemies" after all, just smelly to alert the other we're in the area. So Jake and the pack and I are still close as ever. "

"Sorry if this was long winded, but it deserved an explanation! I'm gonna go break the boys up now, thanks for your question!"

[beekenners]

headcannon(s), how the boys met phil:

tommy: he had been wondering around for a while, he got lost whilst chasing a bunny. he had seen phil, techno, and wilbur hunting, and went up to them. “hi!” he had said, opting to start conversation and find his way home. phil looked down at the small child, his sympathy for the child showing in his face. “hello there, my names philza, what’s your name?” “i’m tommy!” “well hello, tommy.” phil gave him a warm smile. “where are you parents, tommy?” phil asked, his concern growing as he saw the dirt covering the boys clothes. “i don’t know, i was chasing a bunny and got lost, do you know where ___ village is?” phil shared a glance with wilbur, who had turned to face the boy. “that’s.. really far away..” phil said. wilbur spoke up, “hello tommy! i’m wilbur!” he introduced himself, holding out a hand. tommy shook it. “who’s the cool one with the pink hair?” tommy asked. “that’s-“ phil started before being cut off. “i’m techno.” he said, an emotionless look on his face. “i like your hair!” techno didn’t respond. “how about you come back with us, tommy?” phil asked, sharing a glance with techno and wilbur, silently asking for confirmation. “that sounds nice!” tommy said, a smile on his face. phil put a hand on the boys shoulder. “let’s go get you cleaned up, huh?” he smiled looking at the boy.

tubbo (a year after they found tommy): tubbo had been on the side of a dirt path, in a box, for a few hours. his parents had said they’d be back soon, and he was keeping them to that. phil and tommy had been in the village, buying food, when they saw the young boy. tommy, upon seeing a young lad his age, walked over to him. “i’m tommy! what’s your name?” “i’m tubbo” phil walked over, also introducing himself. “i’m philza.” he smiled at the boy. “what are you doing out here all alone, tubbo?” “my parents told me to wait here while they got food.” phil’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “how long have they been gone?” “um i don’t know, really. it was early morning when we arrived.” it was now around sunset, and phil guessed they weren’t coming back for him. “that’s quite mean of them, tubbo. OOH phil can we bring him back with us?” tommy asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. phil looked at tubbo. “would you like that, tubbo?” tubbo smiled at him. “yeah, i would”

techno: phil had been in the nether, gathering various resources. he had his gold earrings in, so piglins didn’t attack. a young piglin, about 4 had came up to him. “gold!” it squeaked, reaching up for it. phil’s heart swole. “i’m philza, what’s your name?” he asked, hoping it would understand. “techno” he said. “where are your parents techno?” phil asked, glancing around. “i don’t know, i’ve been alone for a long time.” phil’s concern only grew. “well, i’ve also been alone for quite a while,” he trailed off, thinking of his wife who had passed away. “would you like to walk around with me?” he asked, offering a hand to techno. the young piglin took it, whilst saying a ‘yes’. when phil was done getting his resources, he looked at techno. “would you like to come to the overworld with me?” he asked, hoping he would say yes. “sure! is there gold?” he asked phil. “yes, there will be, i’ll even make you a crown.”

wilbur ( 3 years after techno): phil and techno were walking around in the forest, gathering wood. they had stumbled upon a boy, around 7, wearing a yellow jumper. the young boy turned and saw them. “hello, i’m wilbur! what’s your guys’ names?” he asked, flashing them a smile. phil’s heart melted. “i’m philza, and that’s,” he said pointing to techno, “techno.” “nice to meet you!” wilbur offered his hand to the grown man, and he shook it. “where are your parents, wilbur?” he asked. “i don’t know, never met them. i’ve been on my own for as long as i can remember.” at this, phil’s brows furrowed, and techno looked over. “oh, that’s what happened to me, but philza saved me!” techno jumped in, smiling at both of them. “oh! that’s quite kind of you.” wilbur said, looking at phil. “it was the least i could do, so, wilbur, if it’s okay with techno, would you like to come home with us?” techno nodded violently, smiling at wilbur, encouraging him to say yes. “sure! thank you, philza!” “please, just call me phil.” he smiled, taking the young boys hand in his own.

(BONUS!! ) ranboo (a year after tubbo): ranboo didn’t know where he was. he had teleported in his sleep. again. the 9 year old groaned. he was in a village he didn’t recognize. he wandered around a bit, until his eyes fell upon a man with a green bucket hat . he walked up to him. “hello? sir? can you tell me where i am?” when phil laid eyes on him, he immediately felt a connection, both being hybrids of a sort. “why hello there. this is ___ village.” phil smiled at they boy. ranboo didn’t recognize that name. he must’ve gone far. “do you know where ___ village is?” ranboo asked, being hopeful. phil frowned slightly. that was a very long ways away, he hoped the boy didn’t walk. “um- yeah but it’s extremely far. i can take you back, i’m philza.” “i’m ranboo.” they made it back to ranboo’s village, and he thanked the man, feeling a bond with him. the next night, ranboo woke up, in the same village. he did it, again. he wandered around, and found a tall boy, with glasses and yellow jumper. “hello, sir? do you know a man named philza by any chance?” he asked. wilbur recognized the boy immediately, phil had told him about the boy. “yes, i do. my names wilbur.” “i’m ranboo.” wilbur walked ranboo to a little cottage. ranboo was in awe of the happiness radiating off of the building. wilbur walked him in, and led him to phil. “phil?” wilbur called out, gaining the mans attention. “yes, son?-“ he asked, but soon cut himself off ups on seeing ranboo, ranboo shyly looked at the floor. “oh, hello ranboo, have you teleported again?” phil asked. “yeah, i’m sorry to be a bother.” “oh, you’re not a bother son-“ he said, but cut himself off afterwards, realizing his mistake. ranboo looked at him. “son?” he asked, a small smile on his face. phil smiled at him. “hey, instead of the tread back there, would you like to spend the rest of the night here?” phil asked. wilbur had smiled at the interaction, finding it cute. “yeah.. that sounds nice.

(BRO HELP ITS SO LATE RN AND IM RUNNING OFF OF PURE ADRENALINE RN LIKE IM MANIC RN)

[tf2-hellhole]

Do you have any Parent!Merc headcanons? (Honestly, all of your content clears my skin and waters my crops)

Awww I’m glad you like my blog!! I kinda based this off of my merc retirement headcanons btw

Scout:

When his first kid is born/adopted, he’s really nervous. He doesn’t know if he can be a good parent for his kid, and the idea of letting his child down the way his father let him down terrifies him. It takes a lot of comforting from his S/O to make that anxiety go away.

Whenever the baby cries in the middle of the night, he always gets up to go to them, every time. He’ll fix whatever is upsetting and will just sit with them until they go back to sleep, silently and lovingly watching over them before going back to cuddle his S/O if they woke up too.

He’s the friend-dad type. The kinda guy who runs around the house playing tag with his kids and eventually breaks something by bumping into a table.

He will absolutely teach every single one of his kids to play baseball. They have broken seven windows while practicing, some of them the neighbors’ windows.

He will show up to PTA meetings, and he WILL throw tons of shade at the asshole soccer mom

Soldier:

Soldier is so unbelievably excited when the child is brought home. Finally, he’s a dad!

Will unironically tell his baby to stop being lazy and to get up and help around the house.

He’s a little strict but he’s actually an excellent parent. His S/O was actually a little worried about how he would be with the kids but he spends a lot of time with them and they have a great relationship

He’s that parent who shows up to every band concert/sports game/whatever and screams encouragement from the crowd. He has been kicked out of several events.

He’s always encouraging his children to put in lots of effort and work towards achieving their dreams. He’d like his kids to join the military, but he surprisingly doesn’t complain if they don’t

Pyro:

Pyro is excellent with babies and children, though they can’t care for them. Like, he can play with and entertain a baby and is very careful with one, but he doesn’t know how to properly feed, bathe, or clothe it. That part of raising the child is more up to their S/O.

Somehow, they can get the baby to go to sleep very easily

They’re always wanting to go on fun adventures with their S/O and kids on the weekends. They all travel all over and it’s really fun.

Annual Disneyland trips are mandatory

Overall, Pyro is the fun parent and they have an excellent relationship with their kids. But the dynamic is more like the S/O raising a few normal kids and one larger kid that has a job.

Has a very cute nickname for each kid, each one related to some kind of candy or small animal. Only their S/O and kids know about it, since they always wear their mask in public.

Demo:

Demo absolutely panics when he learns that his S/O is pregnant/wants to adopt. He wants kids but he’s really convinced that he can’t raise a child, and he’s scared that his S/O will leave him over this. He literally has a panic attack and needs to be comforted by his S/O.

His S/O acknowledges that he’s not perfect, but they know that if he really wants kids, he can put in the effort to change for the better. With their encouragement, he goes into rehab and after several attempts he manages to quit drinking.

But this also results in Demo’s family distancing him more over the fact that he knows what his parent’s methods of raising him did to him and doesn’t want that for his kid. After this, the only person who will still talk to him is his mother, but he couldn’t care less.

He’s a surprisingly responsible father, but he’s still very playful with his S/O and children.

He’s very physically affectionate. He always gives his little children lots of cuddles and tickles and playful kisses to make them laugh. Once they’re grown, he always hugs his daughter(s) when he sees them and gives his son(s) the handshake-bro-hug because he’s the cool dad

Heavy:

While his S/O are trying to find children to adopt, he falls for all the kids who have been through the most. He wants to give them the future they’ve been denied by the circumstances of their life. He will demand to adopt any Russian immigrant children if they find any

He hates how he intimidates the children with his size when they’re first brought home. There are a few nights he can’t sleep because of how horrible he feels about it, and even fewer where he has to be comforted by his S/O the whole night.

He finally gets his children to trust him with reading. If they’re little kids, he’ll read to them all the time. If they’re older, he’ll buy them books of their favorite genre and will probably try reading it himself so he can discuss it with them. It totally works.

He’s a very, very good listener. His kids will often go to him for advice, even once they’re adults. He’ll listen attentively and he won’t say a word until they’re finished speaking, then he’ll give his thoughts. It’s almost like therapy.

Engie:

Engie is a family man, through and through. He’s always dreamed of having a family and he’s so excited that he’s finally made it!

He’s always giving his kids tons of encouragement, and he is always reminding them of the value of hard work and lots of effort.

Once his kids are old enough, he has them help him around his ranch and teaches them to ride horses.

He loves to take his family to all sorts of fun places on weekends and vacations. His personal favorite place to take them is the rodeo, of course.

He barbecues and grills stuff all the time. It’s one of his favorite things to do, and will definitely teach his kids how to do it. His kids are always excited for the weekend because that’s usually when he has the time to grill, and some of his kids will pout if he doesn’t have the time to do it.

He loves telling people about his kids. He’s so proud of all of their accomplishments and loves them all dearly.

Medic:

He’s actually kind of distant from his child for the first few years of having them in his life. It causes some tension between him and his S/O. But after a while, he sees that this is what his parents were like to him. He remembered how little they cared for him, and how much that hurt him. So he makes an effort to bond with his child, and over a long while they eventually become very close.

His child will absolutely also have an interest in the human body, and will often join their father in the lab, even if Medic’s S/O thinks it’s not safe for them. Most of their bonding is over their shared interest

He lowkey spoils his kid, but he’s very good about not taking it so far that they become a brat. He doesn’t want his kid to be like he was when he was young.

He loves traveling with his family, and he’ll take them all over the globe. He encourages his child to learn a language other than German and his S/O’s language and to study in another country for a while. He absolutely wants them to get a higher education. He doesn’t understand if his child chooses not to, but he still supports them.

Sniper:

He misses his S/O and kid(s) so much when he’s out working for several days, but he has to get money to support them. He has a bunch of pictures he keeps in his camper for when he misses them or feels lonely.

When he calls to see how his family is doing, he always has to talk to his kid(s) and ask them how their day was, and how school was.

He loves to take his kid(s) out into the wild and teach them about plants and animals and all sorts of things about nature. By the time they’re 18 they’re practically an expert on the ecosystem of where they live.

He definitely teaches his kid(s) to use a bow or gun once they’re older, even if his S/O tells him it’s unsafe. It’ll be he and the child’s little secret.

He’s a surprisingly playful and affectionate parent, and is always getting up to all sorts of shenanigans with them.

He has a bunch of silly nicknames for them, most of them animal names. He probably started jokingly calling his S/O his ‘roo and his kid(s) his joey(s), but it eventually sticks.

Spy:

Like Medic, he’s a little cold to the child for the first few months after they’re adopted, but he sees how much this hurts and worries his S/O, so that’s when he starts making an effort to bond with them. It’s pretty awkward at first but he eventually becomes close with them. He does this by taking the child wherever they’d like to go and basically getting them whatever they want.

Spy sometimes cries quietly during the night with his partner there to comfort him. He never thought he’d have a family of his own, and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve his S/O or his child.

He will absolutely make sure his child knows how to defend themselves. He’s still paranoid that his enemies will find his family someday despite how good he is about keeping his connection to them secret, so he teaches them to fight with no weapons and with some small melee weapons.

If his child is homeschooled, (they probably will be) he teaches as many lessons as he can. He’s kind of an asshole teacher at first but after receiving some pointers from his S/O, he becomes a very patient and gentle teacher.

[inkribbon796]

Alea Iacta Est Ch. 3: Fighting Back

Summary: The heroes and Dark start enclosing on the two remaining demons.

A/N: Mori = Death. Tempus = Time. Memento = Remember.

Which coincidentally is the order of the trio, if we were going to put age order into them.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Ethan was having one of the worst mornings of his life, and that was after finally gaining some ground in fighting against the demon that had hijacked his body. He’s been subdued by surprise initially and watching it drain the life out of people and get stronger was horrifying to watch.

This would make the second time someone was using his identity to do heinous things and he was sick of it. So as the demon was using his body to skim along the surface of the river — Ethan almost drowning twice since he’d been forced to jump in — Ethan kicked up enough of a fight that they had to exit the water.

“Get out of my head,” Ethan gasped for air.

“Nah, I’m using it, you can have it back later,” the demon chuckled. “Or . . .”

Ethan didn’t like that pause, he could feel it thinking. “What?”

“I wanna find that guy in the hat,” the demon told him.

“You killed enough people,” Ethan spat, he didn’t know who the hell he was talking about. “I’m not helping you find shit.”

“Fine then,” Ethan’s body was shoved back up, he was soaking wet.

He walked down the road and saw Mark standing there. Ethan wanted to be relieved, but that wasn’t just Mark there . . . it was the other demon.

“Hey bro, could you?” Ethan’s hand came up to his own temple as the demon walked them over. “He’s being a little difficult.”

“Oh yeah,” Mark’s voice chuckled and his hand came up before stopping and the demon became frustrated. “Stop that, I’m not—”

Mark’s hand came up and he grabbed at Ethan’s temple and something came out of his head. It looked like an old fashioned photo reel. The color of the reel was black and white, but the images were in vivid colors. All of them were Ethan’s memories from his own eyes.

“I’m looking for the one in the hat, you know the one?” The older demon sibling asked.

“Yeah,” his brother promised, going through Ethan’s memories and looking until he found Chase. Ethan had been talking with the hero before going out on patrol the night before

“Found him, now where does he hide,” Mark’s demon mused and started focusing on Ethan leaving the base and then his route until they were attacked by the demons.

As Mark’s demon was looking for the answer when they were both hit by bolts of magic, and a couple long range TASER rounds.

The sudden attack caused Mark to let go of Ethan’s memories and they shot back into his head, giving the young hero a slight migraine.

When they recovered, Mark’s demon growled, “Arghhhh! That hurt just as bad the second time around.”

“Drop the fookin’[1] humans, an’[2] they better be alive!” Marvin shouted. He had magic at his fingertips and Chase was standing next to him, calling in back-up.

But Ethan wanted to scream for Average to run away, that they had just given the demons what they wanted.

Ethan felt the swirl of dark aura before he saw it.

“Hey! Hey!” Marvin shouted. “No!”

Chase, who had mostly been running around, trying to stop Mark, saw Ethan’s demon’s aura and froze.

He felt his stomach drop and he was aware he was crying but didn’t understand why?

“Average?” Marvin asked in concern. Then he turned back to glare at the pair of demons. “What did yeh[3] do ta[4] him?”

To make matters more chaotic, Dark’s ringing began to fill the air as he and Illinois portaled in and Dark glared at the two demons. “There you two are, get out of those bodies, now!”

Chase hid behind Marvin so he could dry his eyes before fixing his mask. Then he stepped out from around Marvin.

“Wait,” Marvin grabbed onto Chase’s arm.

“I’ll be fine, they won’t hurt me,” Chase promised.

“How do yeh[3] fookin’[1] know that?” Marvin demanded.

I don’t. Chase wanted to tell him, but he felt that would be the wrong thing to tell him, especially after the morning they’d had. “Just trust me, I’ll get them out.”

Marvin reluctantly stepped to the side and Chase stepped forward.

“Out boys, out now,” Chase ordered and motioned, holstering his gun.

Dark and Illinois were just staring at Chase as if he’d grown a second head.

The two demons were just looking between Dark and Chase and their human hosts felt tension slowly bleed away.

“They still alive in there?” Chase demanded.

Ethan’s demon rolled his eyes. Mark’s was the one who answered, “Yes.”

Dark walked over and his aura pulled both spawnlings out of their human hosts. Both of them still resembled their respective hosts, but now they were in suits. One white and one black.

“Pair of troublemakers,” Dark glowered at them as Mark and Ethan scrambled away from them, “the both of you. You two were not supposed to glut yourselves on my town. We would have gotten you all the aura you wanted if you just asked.”

“Totally worth it,” the white-themed spawnling told Dark.

“Would do it again in a fucking heartbeat,” the black-themed one agreed, starting to chuckle.

“You didn’t even know if one of them was a bull,” Dark snapped. “You would have been trapped.”

The darker themed spawnling looked back at Ethan, “Hmm, I liked that body, wouldn’t have been so bad.”

“Average, give me your gun,” Ethan shouted. “I’m not letting it walk around with my face.”

Dark and Illinois were defensively moving to pull the spawnlings back, but Chase was faster. He moved without thinking and suddenly he forced Ethan’s arm behind his back without even thinking about it and instantly let the young man go in surprise.

He turned to Marvin and quickly said, “Take them back.”

“Yeah,” Mark was pulling Ethan back and sharply told Chase, “don’t touch him like that again.”

“I won’t, I don’t know what happened,” Chase apologized to Ethan.

“I’m not leavin’ yeh alone with ‘em,”[5] Marvin told Chase.

“I’ll be fine,” Chase told him. “Check on the others.”

Marvin glared at him but eventually left with Mark and Ethan.

Chase looked back at Dark and the spawnlings. “Took yer[6] sweet time.”

“We had other matters to attend to,” Dark defended heatedly, smoothing out his suit. “Not that it matters to any of you.”

“It does when they turn the whole fookin’[1] city upside-down,” Chase snapped. “Do yeh even know how many people died?”

“Enough people that Damien will have to make some statement, I’m sure,” Dark dismissed. “It’ll all be forgotten eventually.”

“Yer fooked, this whole city is fooked,”[7] Chase growled before turning to the spawnlings. “Yeh[3] two got names?”

“Memento,” the brighter themed spawnling greeted.

“Mori,” the darker themed one finished.

“Unus,” Mori began again.

“Annus,” Memento concluded.

“I take it they’re yers an’ Wil’s?”[8] Chase asked. “What is this, nine?”

“Yes,” Dark said, his tone a little guarded. With a flourish of his wrist, a portal opened up. “Head back to the Manor, we still have introductions to do with the rest of your siblings.”

After a little bit of a standoff, Illinois led the two spawnlings through and Dark snapped the portal closed.

“A fair bit of warning, one or all three of them might have access to my portals,” Dark warned him.

“Shite,”[9] Chase cursed, then thought on that, “wait, why are yeh tellin’ me that?”[10]

“Because after some sleep and a moment to think for five seconds, something dawned on me,” Dark began. “That and you are overly emotional and Damien is quite insistent that I tell you before you hear it from someone else.”

“Okay,” Chase mentally braced himself for more bad news.

“These three new spawnlings were created when I was attacked directly by the Guildmaster,” Dark started, clearly expecting Chase to come to some big conclusion already. When Chase didn’t he kept going. “After the attack, I was given aura by both Wilford and the future version of yourself.”

Another pause.

Dark groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose, “Ughh, why does he like you again?”

“Who?” Chase asked.

“Nevermind,” Dark groaned. “I can’t believe I have to have this discussion with you. So demons are either made from human souls, or they are split off from a main demon and if allowed to exist on its own for a while gains sentience and becomes a demon.”

Chase’s blood ran cold. “Are yeh sayin’ that there’s a chance that those spawnlings are mine?”

“Not a chance,” Dark corrected, “these spawnlings are both yours and Wil’s, demonic lineage doesn’t work like human ones do. Humans can only have two parents by nature.”

Chase looked back at where the portal had been opened. He had a thousand questions.

“This won’t be the last time you see them,” Dark told Chase, a gentler tone to his voice. “But today has been . . . too busy to leave them out of the Manor for long.”

“Yeah,” heard himself say, he felt like he was on autopilot.

“Another day then,” Dark bid him farewell, his tone tense and stiff. Chase wanted to reach out and grab Dark’s arm. He wanted to . . .

He wanted to tell him . . .

But Dark left through a portal and Chase felt like his heart was being torn in two as it closed.

It took him a while to leave, his heart and his head not sure what to think or what to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. fucking

2. and

3. you

4. to

5. I’m not leaving you alone with them

6. your

7. You’re fucked, this whole city is fucked

8. I take it they’re yours and Wil’s?

9. Shit

10. wait, why are you telling me that?

[libraryofmegharoni]

The Traitor Queen (The Bridge Kingdom | #2) [Danielle L. Jensen]

started: May 08, 2021 finished: May 08, 2021 rating: 4.5/5

review:

so we got the utter heart break of Aren finding out about Lara's betrayal in the first book and we get the impact of it here.

i'll start from the beginning, which is where i partially have issue with. the book begins with Lara having fled Ithicana and Aren captured by Lara's father and in his compound in Maridrina. we get a brief kind of recount of what happened in the world between The Bridge Kingdom and The Traitor Queen, but just like how i was still kinda confused about how the world was set up in the first book, i was still a little confused about all the events that happened between the books. to be fair Jensen does a solid job of making me forget that i was confused in the first place. the couple time characters either reflected on the 'past' or were informed about the events that happened after Lara left Ithicana (or Maridrina at very beginning) it wasn’t the clearest explanations?? not the best way to phrase it but idk how else. like the writing was fine and understandable but i didn’t feel like there was enough explanation of the events between books to make me fully understand what happened. that's not to say there was nothing to fill in what happened, maybe im just (which is highly likely) because i just wanted more. ahh ok so i think the best way i can describe it is that there was a surface level explanation of the events that supposedly occurred between the first and second book but not anything more in depth in detail. which considering im a very detail person, i want to know everything there can be known, i want everyone's full history and actions and rationales and intentions and everything else about all the main characters. and i don’t think that it’s actually a fault of Jensen in this or the first book but it’s just what i ideally want out of a perfect book.

anyway other than me being a picky bitch and just wanting more when i like a book, broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s so good.

i mcfucking loved the tension between Lara and Aren after she organizes his rescue. but before that --

THE REST OF THE SISTERS.

one of the first things i said to my roommate when i was reading the first book was "i cannot wait until all the sisters come back and completely fuck up their father" anD GUESS WHAT??!?!?!?!

THEY FUCKING DELIVERED SO GODDAMN HARD

it was perfect that there was one sister who was super against what Lara did and came to Ithicana to murder the King and Queen (but ultimately failed and was killed by our Queen Lara). the rest of them living in small groups but never too far apart from each other - perfection, just perfection. them being 100% down to infiltrate their father's compound - beautiful. them willing to rescue the man they were all trained to hate and want to kill because Lara loved him??????? THE LOVE BETWEEN THE SISTERS - THE SHARED PAIN - THE RIDE OR DIE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT THEY ALL (minus the one Lara kills lol) FUCKING ARE -- I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I WAS SO HAPPY IT PLAYED OUT PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO

i loved Lara sailing to Ithicana's island of Eranahl to talk to Ahnna about freeing Aren and her actually sailing there all by herself proved how dedicated she was to saving him. i just loved how the first book drives home just how terrified Lara is of the open sea and how it is the only thing that scares her and the only time she sails be herself in the second book (bc we know she fled from Ithicana by island jumping) is to save Aren.... and Ithicana but mostly Aren. its shown time and time again how much Lara came to love Aren and how much she was willing to risk or give up just to save him. TEH FUCKING ANGST      I LOVE IT  !!!!!!!

so yeah i just really love the dynamic between Lara and Aren in this book. they both know that they cannot continue to be together after Ithicana is free but they desperately want to. they've grown to love each other and despite Lara's betrayal, they both trust each other. but like for his country, Aren cannot recognize Lara as the Queen of Ithicana or his wife anymore. bro that scene broke me. it came right after Lara tried to leave Aren and he was essentially like "no it’s not safe here for you to go now, im keeping you with me". so yeah Aren having to admit that he doesn't recognize Lara as anything anymore HURT. and i loved how Lara was also hurt by that. they love each other so much but their situation and the world want to rip them apart :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

the final battle was confusing and seemed a bit fast but ultimately so satisfying. i guess it kinda started with the battle on Gamire Island when Lara got injured saving the life of Taryn, Aren's cousin she has befriended in the first book when she was Queen. also Lara saving her was just big proof to the rest of the Ithicana that she was there to fight to right her wrong and get their freedom back.

anyway so Lara gets injured and it was so sad to see how she knew she was seriously wounded but didn't believe that she was allowed to ask for help from the people whose lives she helped destroy and ended up going off on her own. it was so heartbreaking when Aren went to go patch up Lara and end up caving into sleeping with each other. he promised her that they were leaving in the morning and that she could rest then he went back to camp and realized that he could never leave her if he didnt in that moment and told them to get ready to leave - i started crying so much. bc when Lara woke up to everyone gone she thought that that was the plan the whole time and that Aren lied to her to leave her and then she was hit with the fact that it was Eranahl that was being attacked, and put away all her heartbreak and was determined to sail there to help against the Maridrina navy.

how she realized that it was her father on one of the ships and dueled him - so god damn hot. her swimming through the shark infested water to get to Aren????? ughhhhhh im crying. her up against the portcullis telling Aren to leave so he would live??? im crying even more. Aren desperately trying to save her bc he knows he cant live without her???????????? im bawling. her waking up in the bed she's familiar with?? im hopeful. Aren telling her about the trial by sea (and sharks) method used in Ithicana and how she passed so the sea has determined Lara is innocent and loyal to Ithicana????? IM BAWLING AGAIN  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mcfucking knew that it had to end with Lara and Aren ending up together but i didnt know how it was going to happen. and while i wish the trial by shark thing was mentioned in the first book -- like the game they play at snake island with the running through the snakes and climbing up to the bridge and how that was called back to in the second book where Lara had to do the challenge to help free Ithicana. like that little game was a significant scene in the first book with Lara kind revealing her abilities with a bow and arrow and a little bit of Aren's recklessness, want to show off to Lara and how he was as a child. point it is served a purpose and it was a great scene and situation to call back to in the second book, but with more at stake this time. so i would have liked to see someone in Ithicana just mention the trial by sea idea in the first book. i mean when it was revealed i still teared up bc like yeah but i think it could have been a cool thing that was not quite foreshadowed but referenced at an earlier point.

tl;dr - the love between the sisters? perfection. the love between Lara & Aren? heartbreakingly beautiful and such a satisfying arc <3

[patroclusonly]

Well y’all, here is my awaited (by like, two people) really long post explaining why I think Bobby is not that great of a character and why I hate his relationship with Buck. 

(this was supposed to be for a reblog but it’s way tooo long for that)

Be warned, this will be me pointing out everything he did wrong and why the way he acts with Buck is just wrong too in a very direct way and with lots of swearing because that's how I express my anger in writing. So, if you like Bobby you probably won’t like this.

I will put a cut here so only the people that want to read it, do it

To start let me say what I think about the man.

Bobby is the most boring character in the show. There, I said it.  

Yeah, his backstory is super sad and whatever but he’s just bland and I think the reason the fandom loves him so much and loves to see him as a father figure is because he’s an old, non-threatening, white man. He said two coherent thoughts in season one and treated Buck like a kid and everyone bought this “nice, wise and always right” idea of him. 

Also, his natural stand is the ‘welcome to chili's’ stand. Yes. You know it is. Okay, keep going.

To be someone so “mature” and “wise”, he has the emotional maturity of a child. He snaps when he’s angry, he gives the silent treatment and he changes the subject when he feels threatened. 

Every time he’s mad at himself or about something in his life, he snaps at the team or even at people in calls, he gets defensive when someone calls him out on his self righteousness and his superiority complex. Now, to expand that i’m going to give some examples:

-He snaps at Chimney when they learn about the blood thing and he gets mad at the fact that now he has something good in his life because he doesn’t deserve it and so he’s all moody at work???

-He snaps at Hen days after asking for her help to stay sober, 

-He snaps at Buck when he says he read his book and even gets physical, pushing him against the wall 

*Now, because I have a thing against men and threatening physical movements, I’m going back to episode one and how he physically moves to make Buck feel scared (that he might hit him) when he walks towards him in the roof, making him back up.* (yes, Buck was afraid of his reaction and since he’s Buck he wasn’t just gonna stand up to him, much less because it was Bobby, and I’m pretty sure he (bobby) knew that)

-Also, the way he says “what did you just said to me?” to Buck in 3.18 like Buck had just insulted him. That was just a stupid and out of place reaction, not a reaction of a boss in the middle of a disaster but it will be talked about later. 

-That one time when he snaps at the owner of the building where the floor collapsed during the wedding 

-That one time he snaps (and again, gets physical and pushes him against a wall) at the dude in the episode with the vegan protesters because he can’t handle how he’s feeling about Buck and the lawsuit. (I’m vegan so yeah, fuck that dude, but the point is: that was another immature and unprofessional reaction)

(I could take that time when Michael is telling him he’s done enough (after harry sets a fire on purpose to play firefighter) and Bobby says “What’s that supposed to mean?” But I won’t because that’s just another immature reaction but for different reasons)

Going to the silent treatment or change of subject when he feels threatened:

-When Chimney is telling the team he proposed to Tatiana and Bobby is standing as Chim says “silently judging right there with that smirk on your face” (which is the vibe he gives all the time, thinking he knows best, and now quoting De Luca, who was a little jealous but a lot right saying “you come in here with your nose in the air and your eyes looking down”) then he just says “you know what? you’re upset. Let’s drop it.”But Chim keeps pushing and then he just attacks back.

-Also, he wants things his way and isn’t willing to understand the other’s reason for something. “I’m not gonna be satisfied with stolen kisses and take out containers. I don’t like keeping us a secret. It feels like lying.” (remember when Eddie says to Buck “a lot of Is there”? mhmm) and the fact that he worded it that way makes it worse. Also, “it feels like lying” really? what are you, five? 

-another moment that shows his immaturity and stupid things he’s said: “Well what am I supposed to do? Forget it, forget all the mean thing she said to her?” Are you a grown man talking about your wife (who can fix her own shit, thank you very much) and her mother, or about a little kid getting bullied bro?

Jumping to the next time we see Athena’s mother. In episode 7 from season 3 he literally calls her so she would make Athena stop investigating Emmeth’s case and after she convinces Athena to tell them everything, he tells her he can do it, like he’s giving her his permission or his blessing to do it? She was gonna do it anyway, fool.

another stupid line: “he called me a liar and it stung.” why does he sound like a five year old all the time? 

another stupid thing he said because he doesn’t take blame in anything apparently (and this is going to be mentioned again when I get into his relationship with Buck but I’m going to talk about it now too) Athena jokes about not inviting Buck over anymore because something always happens and Bobby says “That’s a great idea. None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t invited him over for dinner.”  (HMMMMM)

Also, he’s mocking and condescending. But well, I don’t have the time to find all the scenes for that. Let’s just say he is with Chim sometimes (maybe some other character, let me know if you have someone in mind) and then with Buck the rest of the time and you can clearly see it. 

There are some other examples that could be used here but will be used to analyze his and Buck’s relationship in this next part.

Now the idea was to divide this by season and try to organize by episode but it got a little messy. You can understand everything anyway and that’s what matters, okay?

Season 1: 

You can see the potential for a father-son relationship, but all the patience and understanding he has at the beginning is gone after the roof scene (personally, I think it’s all about projecting his own past mistakes and that why he looks so angry and resentful).

He goes from “He just needs a little direction” and explaining things like why Buck can’t go into the hospital with the baby to “leave your problems behind” and kind of shaming him for sleeping around? Saying “we work with women side by side” as if Buck was harassing someone?

“So you wanna disrespect yourself, that’s fine with me. You wanna disrespect all these women that you chase around, that’s on them.” He’s clearly way too old school and apparently doesn’t understand that as long as there’s consent, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping around, it’s not something to be ashamed of. And Bobby (the whole team, honestly but Bobby has some defining lines) make him feel so ashamed to the point that once he feels bad about himself when he wants to start having sex again. 

Then after Buck comes back to the station with the truck, after helping with the little girl, he asks Bobby if he’s giving him another chance and Bobby says he’s out of chances and that he  “failed to communicate”  how lucky they are to do what they do.

To which Buck answers: “You’re wrong, Bobby. I absolutely do get what a privilege it is to serve here, and you know what? You were right to fire me. I was a punk. I still am one. But I’m a punk who understands what he lost.”  I think between that and the “I don’t have anything else.” he said in the roof scene, Bobby should’ve stopped doubting Buck’s commitment to the job. 

But he stil thinks throughout the seasons that he doesn’t take it seriously and that it’s all a game for him. 

In episode two, you can see once again the potential to this relationship when Buck thinks he’s letting Bobby down and Bobby takes the time to sit with him and explain that it’s okay to feel like that after losing someone and that he should talk to someone. And he helps him past that fear (when he tells him to do the maneuver) because he knows he’s just afraid and needs a little push. 

(Also, maybe this is not as important but he says “this is not a family” to Buck, but when they’re in the hospital with Chimney after the rebar thing he says “his family is right here”? Which is it man?)

(Also pt 2, I don’t like tatiana but he was super rude. “this is not about love, it’s about decency”. How about you find a better way to phrase your thoughts bro, because somehow you come out with the rudest thing to say every time.)

In episode three, Buck insists about knowing about his little book and Bobby just, pushes him against the wall?? And everyone is like, okay with it??

In episode fours he relapses (still don’t understand what triggers him?But I guess alcoholism is a complicated thing). Buck and Hen help him and he’s all snappy with Hen. 

Now, with the flashbacks you can see how he’s been an alcoholic for years and his wife tells him that she thought he would do everything to stay sober so he “wouldn’t be caught at work again.” 

And he says “I’m strong. I’m unbreakable. I’m superman. I go into burning buildings and I come out without a scratch. That’s me.”  You can see why he projects so much on Buck, but he’s projecting about the wrong thing.

Buck doesn’t think he’s invincible, he just would do anything to save people. Even put himself in danger. And yeah, thinking he can do anything while in the uniform is something that we see him say but it’s still not the same thing. 

(And this is just me being petty about how bland he is but that scene is supposed to be sad and it’s just meh. His wife tells him to leave because she can’t see him and he gives the blandest (and kinda rude considering the situation) “then what?” and when she tells him “I’ll forgive you, just not tonight.” he just goes out again and keeps drinking.)

Also, we know he spent years working while drinking but he can’t let Buck work while just sleeping around 

Okay, I kinda lost the episodes’ numbers here but when Buck starts seeing Abby and he asks Bobby for advice, his advice fucking suck. 

“Why don’t you try something new, just once, getting to know her.” Now, listen here, my boy Buck wanted that intimacy shit. Remember when he asked for truck girl’s number in episode one? That was him wanting more, but he hadn’t been lucky there so just, meaningless sex was the other option for closeness. 

“If you’re interested in her, a woman like that deserves chivalry.” 

“Any woman with substance and experience has lived a life and she’s gonna come with some baggage.” 

He is the definition of old school sexist. My man, every woman deserves chivalry, okay? And please rethink how you value a woman’s worth, thank you.

(Another comment about episode eight: He was snappy and mad a himself and just drops the bomb on Chim about his plan of killing himself???Go to therapy bro, Chimney did not needed that weight on him.)

Entering season 2  (which doesn’t have that much scenes between them)

Let’s jump directly to the famous “I feel like, if I ever did that, you would yell at me.” that Buck says because he’s so right. He’s always treated like a reckless kid that doesn’t think things through but the fact is that he’s really smart and his plans and the times he’s jumped in to save people have worked out just fine? 

You can see the difference between how he treats Buck, who has been working for over a year now, and how he treats Eddie, who is supposedly a probie, from the start. 

And as a mutual pointed out not long ago and it stuck with me, Bobby plays favorites and Eddie is clearly his favorite. He can do no wrong and doesn’t need to be told what to do. He has Bobby’s trust without even working for it and Buck, who’s been there working his ass off for the recognition (not the approval) that he is good at his job (because it’s everything for him), gets nothing but being told off over and over. 

In Bobby Begins Again we learn that after he almost drank himself to death, Bobby gets sober again and tries to come back as fast as he can to work and he just wants the big boss to make it happen. Doesn’t stop to think maybe he’s not ready yet, he just wants to go back to work to, as he says, “atone for what I’ve done in my own way and if you won’t let me do that then send me some place that will.” (also, again, and example of wanting for things to go his way, no matter what)

He also doesn’t even stop to think about how much he fucked up and that, even though he thinks he’s ready to go back, everyone else might not think that. (Also, other reason as to why he projects so much on Buck)

Then 2.18 happens. Everything starts to go wrong for Buck and good for Bobby. 

Bobby goes back to work and Buck has months of recovery after the truck bombing. That was aimed for Bobby. And to which he never apologised or said anything about. 

They can’t fire the “guy who was a hero on the 6 o’clock news” but they can not let back the guy that was actually crushed, because the “hero” doesn’t allow it. 

He’s looked as a hero but everyone forgets that it happened because of him in the first place. 

Season 3:

In episode one, Bobby thinks Buck is ready to come back. Then the blood clots happen and he starts projecting again. 

“I thought I could handle it. Lied to everybody, ignored the pain. I don’t want him making the same mistakes that I did. The job should mean a lot, but it shouldn’t mean everything. He’s gotta learn that.” 

Buck was out for five? six months? And the blood clots were something he couldn’t see coming. It’s not that a month happened and he wanted to go back, even when he wasn’t fully healed. He did everything right but still, Bobby was projecting through his own past mistakes. 

Also “The job should mean a lot, but it shouldn't mean everything. He’s gotta learn that.” Bobby should only be worried about Buck being able to do his job because other people depend on him, not try to teach him some life lesson. And Buck was able to do his job, he passed the recertification, the clots were just a set back. He should’ve been able to come back after healing from that. 

Athena sees how Bobby is bringing feelings into it. [“He’s not my kid”]

“No. But he’s also not you. Maybe he’s making the same mistakes you did. Maybe he’s not.”

Bobby says “Just wait and see?” and I thought he would understand and he would let Buck back and wait to see if he actually had a reason behind his doubt. 

“You gotta let them grow up sometime.” Athena says, clearly seeing that Bobby is too attached to Buck and does (kinda) try to protect him like a kid. 

(Now, from here on I forgot (again) to write down some of the episodes’ numbers so it’s a bit of a blur but I’ll keep talking about how Bobby keeps projecting and lying)

We know that Bobby gets a call to talk about if Buck and his return to work. Let’s keep that in mind for a second. 

“It’s the blood thinners. The department is concerned about liability issues and since the doctors haven’t figured out what’s causing the clots.” He lies. Right to his face. 

“Well, Buck if we were out on a call and something happened to you…” He acts all concerned about how they can’t be worrying about him while on a call. Let’s remember now how Chimney got a rebar through his head and got stabbed and within a month he was back, and no one was worried about him getting any side effects in the job. 

“Then I would have two paramedics standing next to me. I would be fine.”

“They can’t do this to me. You can’t let them take away my job.”

“Out there in the world, helping people. That is where I belong. That is where I have spent five months fighting to get back to. And now you’re gonna tell me that I can’t?”

“I don’t want light duty, okay. And neither would you. I quit.” 

Now those are all things Buck said and Bobby, at any moment, could’ve said something like “I was the one to tell them you weren’t ready but as soon as you get cleared, you’ll be back.” But he chose to keep quiet, to keep lying. 

And then he dares to say “Buck has us”? Really? Like he wasn’t the actual cause of everything Buck was going through.?

Then Buck goes back for light duty as fire marshall and Bobby says: “For what is worth, I’m proud of you. I’m glad you didn’t throw away your career ‘cause you had a little set back.” (and dares to be annoyed with Buck for how he is as a fire marshall)

“I promise you,  your place will still be here for when you’re ready” PROJECTING. 

The whole scene with Bobby, Athena and Buck at dinner is Bobby being a coward because he knows what he’s doing is wrong. The projecting and lying.

“You’re not ready, that’s what I told them when they asked.” 

“You’re the reason they won’t let me back?” That was a clear question, basically “you told them not to let me back” yet Bobby deflects and denies it’s his fault:

“Medication is the reason.” 

Athena tries to help and says “Bobby is just worried about you, that’s all.” and to try and get Buck’s focused anger out of Bobby she says “We all are.” But she made it clear before that she thought he should let Buck back. 

“I thought you were my friend.” 

“I am your friend. I am also the captain of almost twenty other firefighters whose life and safety depend in the decisions I make and I can’t put them at risk if you’re not operating at 100%...” 

“Buck, I know that you went through a lot in that tsunami and maybe you feel like you can survive anything…” 

Now, for those last quotes I would like to remember the “I’m strong. I’m unbreakable. I’m superman.” dialogue and the fact that Bobby never cared if Chim was at 100% or if he himself was at 100% when he was asking to go back to work that time in Bobby Begins Again. 

Also, that night before Buck tells him about the lawsuit, he still doesn’t apologise. 

In episode five, when Athena jokes with Michael about not inviting Buck over anymore because something always happens Bobby says “That sounds like a great idea. None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t invited him over for dinner.” My initial reaction to this was EXCUSE YOU BITCH??? but what this actually tells me is that he was never planning to tell Buck the truth about him being the reason he couldn’t go back to work.

Now this is both the fucking funniest and the fucking worst thing because this fucker really doesn’t see how wrong his is: 

“I don’t treat Buck any differently than I do any other firefighter under my watch.”

And I think even people that do like Bobby can see the bullshit in that. 

Buck is literally the only firefighter that gets treated differently. And you’d think that since everyone seems to believe their relationship is “father-son” like it would be a good thing for Buck, but no. He’s the one always getting screwed over while the rest can do whatever they want without any consequences. 

And we’re gonna quote the lawyer now because even though he used Buck’s lack of knowledge about how attorney-client relationship works, he makes some pretty on point arguments:

“It’s relevant because it illustrates how everyone except mister Buckley is allowed to return to the job no matter the injury or infarction.” 

“You asked my client for his help that day. That’s exactly what he did, without hesitation, he helped you get sobered up and you returned to your full duty as captain of the 118. (...) So isn’t the only difference between your off duty relapse and mister Buckley’s that he actually did everything in his power to help you return to your job?” 

I think the city tried to settle the lawsuit with so much money for a reason, don’t you?

You can also see how Buck, the one that was actually affected by what Bobby did, doesn’t hold any resentment towards him and is just glad to be invited to the rage room thing. And is the one to apologise AGAIN, when Bobby hasn’t apologised once.

“Brass didn’t want the headache, they’re afraid of the bad press (...) They gave me the option to transfer you, they understood how I might not want you back after everything you put us through.” 

Put them through what? Honestly. Buck was the one crushed. Buck was the one left behind. Buck was the one lied to. Buck was the one doubted and betrayed by one of the people he trusted the most. The rest was put through...? some truth thrown in their faces? 

In episode six, Bobby tells Athena “Well, he’s signed every liability waiver and release forum that the department threw at him. Pretty sure we could drop a piano in Buck’s head and he wouldn’t be able to sue the city for it.” 

And then later he says “I don’t know what I’m doing. He just, he doesn’t think things  through. He acts and reacts and that leaves the rest of us to have to deal with the fall out.” I would like a list of the times Buck did something that actually affected the rest of them in a bad way aside from the lawsuit where everyone was just left with hurt feelings, please and thank you.

Buck takes his job seriously. I would say more than anyone else. Because for Buck the job is the most important thing in his life, unlike the rest of them because they all have families to put first. 

Athena, again, because she’s a queen that he doesn’t deserve, sees that Bobby’s just angry and has hurt feelings. 

Buck is finally back and of course, because he’s Buck, he doesn’t just shut up and obeys, and Bobby says:

“You know Buck, someday  you’re gonna figure out when to stop pushing and learn some patience. I hope we’re both alive to see it.” He’s talking all patronizingly again and he uses the word “learn” (which is something important, they way he always uses that or implies that with Buck) because he still sees Buck as a kid that needs to learn a lesson. 

Hen, because she’s another queen, also sees that Bobby is being too emotional and unprofessional with Buck and Bobby says:

“I can see that he’s trying. It just still seems like he doesn’t get it. Like this is all a game to him.” Which honestly, what the actual fuck. Remember that speech Buck gave Bobby in season one when I said that’s the last moment Bobby should’ve thought Buck didn’t take his job seriously? Well, apparently even though he’s been working for two years now, to him,  he takes his job less seriously now. Crazy, right?  

Hen, beautiful smart and objective queen Hen, explains to him that if it was all a game to Buck, he could be fucking around with the millions (MILLIONS) he was offered on the lawsuit, but that he chose to go back to work and that Bobby is just being selfish (she doesn’t say selfish but we reading between lines here) by holding him back. 

Apparently, Bobby kinda gets it and is ready to let Buck back in for real. 

Then the scene where Buck helps the lady with the dude in the windshield happens and Bobby is called to the hospital because emergency contact? Buck explains what happened and Bobby, because he’s so fucking rude without even noticing how that makes everyone else (mostly Buck) feel, says: 

“‘cause you jumped in and saved him. Probably didn’t even occur to you to worry about yourself.” He says this like Buck just proved to him that he had a reason to not let him back. 

“Yeah, I know. I know. I didn’t think, just rushed in like I always do. I guess it’s like, the uniform is my costume. You know, I put it on and suddenly I’m brave and I’m strong and make a difference. Feels like without it I’m not much of anything.” (That last line broke my fucking heart btw) But here you can see Buck knows he’s impulsive, but he’s not really reckless. He can’t help his impulse to save people, it’s who he is. (what bobby isn’t naturally, but that’s another topic we’re not going to talk about right now)

I think here is when Bobby finally starts to understand that Buck is not a kid that doesn’t understand what he has and needs to be taught a lesson. 

“Does that mean you are ready to let me back for real?”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m ready, you are. It’s time for me to get out of your way.” This line says a lot. He finally understands that he can’t just hold Buck back because he sees his own mistakes on him and that he was doing that before. Buck is ready and has been ready for a long time but he just now sees that it’s not up to him to decide over Buck’s life like that. 

(For this next part we’re going to remember how I said that the only one to ever really suffer the consequences and to be treated differently is Buck)

In episode seven, Bobby finds out Eddie’s been street fighting. He listens to Eddie and understands, doesn’t judge him, doesn’t get mad for putting everyone at risk by coming to work injured. He doesn’t even tell him “hey, maybe you should take some time off and figure your shit out.” He just send him to therapy and lets him keep working like nothing happened.

In episode nine, when Hen hits the girl (as in crashes with the ambulance, yk, not actually hit her), everyone is sure that it’s not her fault and they let her return to duty right away, she’s the one to ask for some time off. 

And everyone doesn’t doubt for a second that the accident wasn’t her fault, doesn’t judge her at all. (which is fine because it wasn’t her fault but my point is, would’ve Buck been the one in this situation, I don’t know if it would’ve been as easy to resolve) 

When Buck is worried about Bobby and the radiations thing, he asks him how he feels and if he’s hiding symptoms, and Bobby thinks he’s annoying. But maybe that’s what he should’ve done with Buck when he was the one recovering instead of just assuming and lying and keeping him from returning to work. 

In episode sixteen, Hen just “felt like breaking every rule in the book” and does what she think is right no matter what (which was actually right and we understand but that’s not the point). We’re gonna add some quotes here:

“You can do what you want, I’m doing this.” She says to Chimney like there was any other option for him. 

Everyone praises her and is proud of her. Then Bobby comes in:

“Feels like this is about more than Anton. That girl, the cello player. You’re still thinking about her.” 

She knows what she did was wrong and asks “How much trouble am I in?” 

“Patient didn’t die. No one’s lodged a complaint. It’s a great save. Don’t do it again.” That's it. 

He doesn’t get mad, doesn’t reprimand her, doesn’t suspend her. Doesn’t say “Hey, you just did a really reckless and impulsive thing that broke many rules and I’m sorry but I have to reprimand you . Also, maybe you should take some time off? Go to therapy. Chill. Learn that even though you were right, you can’t just pull that shit at work.”

In episode eighteen, they’re talking about saving Abby’s fiance after Bobby finds out, and I’m going to put the dialogue first and then talk about it. 

 “Stop. You’re too close to this. This is too risky.” 

“Well, I am willing to take the risk.” 

“It’s not yours to take. You can’t just rush into any dangerous situation and assume it’s gonna be okay. ´Cause it’s not and I am tired of being on the wrong side of those hospital doors.”

“Bobby, I am not Athena.”

“What did you just say to me?”

Well, first of all, his priority should be doing the job, saving as many people as they can. Buck is WILLING to take the risk to save both people and  it is his to take. And not only because he promised to Abby he would save Sam, but because it’s who he is. He saves people, no matter the risk for him. (which again, three(? years of knowing him and Bobby still doesn’t understand) 

Also Bobby, hun, if you’re tired of seeing your team (and Athena) in the hospital, maybe you should reconsider your life choices because you’re captain of  a group of people that literally  puts themselves in harm’s way to help other people for a living. 

In conclusion, Bobby is kind of a hypocrite that projects a lot, is immature, resentful and has issues expressing how he feels properly, most of these things are always directed at Buck and that’s why I don’t like him and their relationship. 

You have reached the end! Amazing. This was a really long rant honestly but I believe everything I wrote here, so hopefully y’all understand my perspective and I don’t gain haters for this

 I think I make some pretty good points.

Okay, if you really read all that, thank you! It took me a long time lol 

(Tagging you because you asked: @angelcamael) (And my girl @himbo-buckley who is always there to listen to me rant about this)