#like even if those stories get told there’s no guarantee they’ll be told well

[sonic-adventure-3]

My general opinion on Sonadow is that like. Because it's the most popular ship in the fandom most casual enjoyers just gravitate towards it and produce content of it which doesn't exactly match the characters or their actual dynamic, which is totally fair but as a canon enjoyer means I just don't enjoy like 99% of the fan content. And the stuff that I do enjoy definitely doesn't fall within the bounds of a healthy, traditional romantic relationship. However I will say that because there's so much art of it there's some legitimately gorgeous/hilarious art even if the characterization in it isn't totally accurate to canon

OH JUST SAW THIS SORRY IM LIKE A WEEK LATE TO THIS ASK. (context)

anyway yeah i completely agree! personally it can get a little frustrating to see so much of it everywhere, as i do really love sonic and shadow’s dynamic, but dislike the most popular interpretation

and yeah the stuff that i do end up liking definitely doesn’t fall into the ‘stable and normal’ category. like personally i just don’t like romance much in the first place, and i still don’t like any romance with these characters whatsoever, conceptually, but there is some stuff out there that does some really interesting things and tells compelling stories even if i don’t agree with the premise of romance.

overall far more than the concept of the ship itself i personally just actively dislike 99% of the fanwork, cause it’s not catered to my tastes. finding good sonic & shadow characterization can already be like finding a needle in a haystack, and finding good characterization that also isn’t romantic (or at least doesn’t end in a romantic relationship) and tells a story i find interesting is like finding a tuft of cotton candy in an asbestos insulated wall

but fr there’s some really truly amazing and hilarious art and writing out even if i’m not the right audience for it!

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 14)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (14)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(**Been waiting a while to introduce this new character... **)

Lucy was gripping the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb, her eyes closed, jaw twitching. Katie reached across the table to touch her but stopped at YFN shaking her head. “No,” she said gently. “Just… give her some time to process.”

Katie began looking around for the stalker.

“What are you going to do?” Jordan asked, her eyes also wandering. They all knew they were safe together.

“Well it says they want to see me within 48 hours.. so I’ll prepare tonight and go in tomorrow. I’ll give them all my information and explain. I have proof of them stalking me and I’ve done nothing wrong.. it’s not like I’m from a threatening country. Australia is part of the Commonwealth so everything should be okay..”

Lucy stood and left, scanning around for the stalkers as she waded through the crowded area, though always keeping YFN in sight.

“What time are you leaving?” YFN asked Jordan.

“Tomorrow morning. I’m giving myself a day for the drive and to settle back in before training starts again. When are you coming?”

YFN looked around to see Lucy talking to someone who looked like a Manager. “I’m not sure.. Luce is here for another week but I think she wants to see her family in Manchester.. so maybe we’ll be staying there for a few days and then with you for a few before she leaves?”

“Sounds right, I think Luce wants to get you settled in with me before she goes.” Jordan cringed as realised what she’d said and gave a sheepish look to YFN who rolled her eyes. Of course Lucy spoken to Jordan about staying with her in Birmingham. She looked over at Lucy who was heading back to them, her heart melting even more.

“If you’re still hanging around with your Visa thing, you should come watch us train,” Caitlin said.

“Plus, aren’t you a writer?” Katie asked. “They’re always lookin’ fer writers for sports columns but they can never find good ones. They’re always so borin’ and invasive so none of the players want ta open up to them. But we all already know you..”

Lucy sat back down as YFN mulled it over. “Sports column?” Lucy asked gruffly.

“Just an idea.” Katie shrugged. “It’d be great to do interviews where we know the person and know they aren’t going ta just make up a story. We always have to be so careful with the media trainin’ and such.”

“It’s… it’s a really good idea. I love it, actually. It would be great if it were across all of the leagues..” Her pinky reached out for Lucy, testing the waters, and Lucy hooked her pinky around it. Their little way of communicating.

“I think they’d want you to cover as much as possible." Caitlin said. “Especially if lots of players know you. I’ll send you the details of the company. They just can’t find anyone to cover one league let alone all of them. It’ll be a lot of work but if you’re keen..”

YFN nodded. “I’ll be interested but… maybe don’t send me anything yet. My Visa… I’m not allowed to work. And tomorrow I guarantee they’ll go through my phone and messages with a fine-toothed-comb so if it all goes well then I’ll ask them about the possibility of changing to a working visa… and also having to travel across Europe and what those entry requirements are.”

“Okay… we may already have chatted to the company…”

“What?!”

“It’s okay! It’s nothing official, we didn’t give them your name, we just told them about you and that you used to write a column and that you’re here now and have made a lot of friends with the players..”

“Wow, is it really that bad for you guys with media?”

They all nodded.

“The amount of media training we’ve been through is ridiculous.” Jordan said. “And then we stress about what parts they’re going to use and what they’re going to cut! So if we have someone we can trust then it takes all of that stress away.”

“Okay…. Okay.. I’ll think about it and see how tomorrow goes. If they barely agree to accept my current Visa though, I won’t ask them..”

“That’s fair enough, it was just an idea,” Jordan shrugged and YFN chuckled at that. “Wait.. you’ve all spoken about this?” She thought it was just Katie and Caitlin.

“Of course mate!” She slapped a hand to her shoulder. “We don’t want you going anywhere.”

YFN’s heart filled just a little more as she smiled at her friend. “Birmingham is going to be so much fun.”

“Ohhh yes.” She leant around YFN to look at Lucy. “Any news?”

Lucy shook her head. “No one saw them and they’re not here now. I want us to get out of here though.” She looked at YFN, her protective green eyes locking with hers from behind her clear framed glasses. “I want us to get you out of that hotel, and I don’t want us to be in public longer than we have to.”

“Yeah we’re goin’ ta leave ya’s to it. I’m feeling weird just waitin’ for someone to put a bag over my head.” Katie pushed her sunglasses back up her nose, looking around like she wanted a fight.

“I can help you pack if you need?” Jordan suggested.

“Oh yeah, Dory! You can come over if you want? I’d love to spend some time with you before you leave tomorrow..” YFN looked over her shoulder at Lucy who nodded at her friend, looking a little on edge. “It’s settled. Come with us.” YFN smiled and took Jordan’s hand.

They said their goodbyes and hugged. YFN again thanked Katie and Caitlin for last night, checking that Katie’s hand was okay after trying to break the window of the car. They had a good giggle at that. She promised to get back to them about the strangely vague position of interviewing players, and they both again showed their enthusiasm.

Lucy practically bodyguarded YFN the entire way to the car where YFN encouraged Jordan to sit in the front. She sat behind Lucy who had one of her arms behind her, fingers tangled with YFN’s. She liked needy Lucy. She liked all of the Lucy’s to be honest.

They went to YFN’s hotel and Lucy spoke to the staff to check her out early while Jordan and YFN packed. Somehow, Lucy was able to get her a refund for the nights she didn’t stay, and then they were in Lucy’s car and headed to her London home.

YFN felt strange unpacking. She was technically moving in with her partner… whom she hadn’t known for long.. who also lived in Spain. She felt a little like she was pushing herself onto Lucy too fast, but at the same time, all of it was at Lucy's request. Her insistence. And, it had been one of her three demands.

Jordan and YFN spent time together unpacking, researching and bantering while Lucy was on the phone, pacing. She was talking to lawyers, discussing Visa’s and restraining orders. She was frustrated but would pause past YFN often to touch her, give her a kiss wherever she could reach, or just wave from the patio. She didn’t like the idea that she was putting so much extra stress on Lucy when she should have been resting and recovering her knee, but she also knew that this was Lucy’s choice. She was so sexy the way she took care of things. YFN watched her pace the patio, talking on the phone with her AirPods and expressing so much with her hands, the artery in her neck becoming more prominent when she got more frustrated demanding things. The efforts that woman was going through just to keep her safe and in the country was more than anyone had ever done for her in her life.

She spoke to Jordan about Leah who’d dropped the drunk trio home last night, and who’d apparently dropped Jordan home last.

Jordan sighed. “Leah tried talking to me.. she asked how I was doing and how things are at Villa but I just wasn’t in a state to talk. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea of people following you and Luce…”

“So you pretty much blew her off..?”

“Yeah.. pretty much. I didn’t have the capacity to talk. She left me. She didn’t even give me a reason, she just said that she changed and I hadn’t and… and she left. I tried to talk to her, you know I tried, but in the end I left my club for her. The club I spent most of my career at.” She was getting teary eyed and YFN moved next to her and wrapped her arms around her. Jordan leaned into her and sobbed a little.

“You still love her,” YFN said softly. Jordan nodded against her. “Oh Dory..”

She leant over to get some tissues and blew into them. “I can’t just let her back into my life after that. She… she can’t just do that. I don’t even know if she misses me as a friend or as a girlfriend but she lost both.”

“I… I think it’s both.”

Jordan lifted her head to look at her. She continued. “The way she looked at you and spoke about you when you weren’t watching.. especially with that girl at the bar. And she thought we were together…”

She could see the thoughts running behind Jordan’s eyes before she shook her head. “No, she doesn’t get that from me anymore. She did this. She made this mess.”

“She did, she absolutely did. Let’s just bench it for now and take it as it comes, okay? I’m right here for whatever you need.”

“I’m so happy you’re coming to Birmingham,” Jordan said with a tremble in her voice.

“Me too, mate. Me too. We’re going to have so much fun!”

Jordan’s mood picked up as they changed topics and kept researching. They found a lot of good news and information that had them positive about the outcome the next day.

“Oh this looks promising,” Jordan said. “It’s talking about a character reference who’s known you for at least ten years? Not related to you though..”

YFN laughed. “Ohh I have just the person.” She took her phone out and scrolled through her contacts. “Ridley. We grew up together.”

“I thought you didn’t have a best, best friend?”

“She’s basically family and… an acquired taste.” She laughed again. “God, I love her. We go through periods of not talking for 6 months and then talking every day, but that’s just us. She’s the closest person I have from Australia besides my nan. She actually works in Spain, it was one of the reasons I was going to visit, to see her!”

She called her up and a drunk Ridley answered, music blasting in the background. “Hey baby Blue, what’s doing?”

“Hey Riddles, you busy?”

“Nah, never too busy for you. When are you coming to Greece?”

“Are you still partying?”

“You know it baby! Way too many hot Europeans here.” She started talking to someone near her. ‘In a minute, love, just get us some more drinks.’

YFN laughed. “I can call back…”

“Bullshit, they can wait. What’s up?” She changed to Facetime, and it was exactly what it sounded like. Some sort of party at night in Greece, people crowded around. She had a bottle in one hand and some colour sunglasses on which she look like she stole, covered in several beaded and glow in the dark necklaces.

“Having a good night?”

“You know me mate - always.” She said with a grin as someone bumped into her. ‘Watch it!’ She yelled at them.

 ‘Doesn’t cost anything to be kind!’

‘Costs me my fucking sanity, move your big ass feet away from me.’

She turned back to the phone and took the cap off the bottle with her teeth, spitting it and taking a swig. “I’m just about to throw hands, Blue, I swear.”

YFN and Jordan laughed. “Blue?” Jordan asked.

Before YFN could answer, Ridley noticed her and got closer to the screen with a smirk. “Oh, hey there Jordan Nobbs, you’re looking sexy tonight.”

YFN groaned. “She flirts with everyone, don't be surprised.”

Jordan laughed and answered politely. “Hey mate, nice to meet you! Where was our invite?”

“Oh baby, you’re free to join me aaanytime.”

Jordan’s mouth dropped and YFN groaned, knowing this would happen. “Anyways! Riddles, you know the stalker issue?”

“Oh yeah, you need me to come sort them out?”

“Oh, Lucy’s all over that. No, they put a complaint in about my Visa so I’m headed to the embassy tomorrow. I need a character reference who’s known me at least ten years-”

“-say no more, baby Blue, I’ve got you.” The girl reappeared and was grabbing at Ridley’s face, kissing her cheek. Ridley pulled away, her attention still on her close friend.

“…Yes… but will you be awake tomorrow around 10am your time?”

She hummed and then agreed to set her alarm. Anyone who didn’t know her would think she wasn’t reliable for this, but she knew Ridley and knew she could trust her with anything, anytime. She was incredibly loyal, and the distance between Spain and Australia had meant they’d spoken less which wasn’t what she’d ever wanted with their relationship. But regardless, they were always the type of friends who could call each other up after 6 months and everything was the exact same between them.

Ridley was still flirting with Jordan when the girl from earlier again tried to drag her off the call. Jordan was flirting back, enjoying the attention and YFN made sure to end the call before she saw the girl’s tongue down her throat.

“An acquired taste, I told you. She’s one of my favourite people though. She’s basically family to me.” She laughed.

YFN and Jordan made them dinner while Lucy was still off and on the phone. They ate and then Lucy took Jordan home with hugs and promises that they’d see each other soon in Birmingham. YFN ‘requested’ a shirt with Jordan’s name and number on it. She wanted to wear it to her first Villa game. Jordan was excited that she wanted to wear her shirt, and promised to sign it for her.

Lucy returned to the dishes done, and a squeaky clean YFN who was ready for bed. She looked tired and threw her AirPods and phone onto the couch before taking YFN in her arms. She was so warm and soft and felt like… home. Home had never been place to Lucy. It had always been either her family or wherever she made it with a club. She and YFN hadn’t known each other long but the best way to describe their relationship was that she’d always felt like home to Lucy. For the first time in her life, home felt like a person. The thought of Spain in the back of her mind was a dark thought that she tried to keep back there. She groaned and hugged her little Australian tighter.

“Luce?” She said softly. Lucy pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you for today. Thank you for looking after me… I know it’s been a lot to deal with.”

Lucy’s eyebrows furrowed. “This is all on me, all this happening has been because of me and I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. I just….” She paused as she tried to keep her emotions together. “… I really don’t want to lose you.” Her voice was husky as her emotions seeped through.

YFN took her face in her hands. “Luce, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, as long as you want me. I need you to know that.”

She was right, Lucy did need those words. A tear slipped out and YFN wiped it away from under her glasses.

“I still want our dates though, regardless of what happens. I’ve planned one for us tomorrow after the… you know. And then the next date-”

“-is all me.” Lucy cut off. “I’ll plan the third.”

“Okay.. but I need to talk to you about… amending one of the deals we made.”

Lucy’s head tilted in question.

“We’re not sure what’s going to happen. We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring. I want to spend every night with you like it’s our last because we deserve that. Regardless of if I’m sent away tomorrow, or in a week, or when you go to Spain…”

As if to prove her point, she pulled Lucy closer, walking backwards until her back was against the wall, Lucy pressed up against her. Lucy couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss her. It was soft and gentle, full of emotion. YFN’s hand found its way to the back of her head and tucked itself into the strands of dark brown hair, using that as leverage to be able to tilt her head and control the kiss a little. They let themselves enjoy it until they could feel each other getting excited, their bodies beginning to move like they wanted more. Lucy pulled back unwillingly, their mouths still close.

“Little one, are you asking me for sex?” She couldn’t help the soft chuckle building up in her throat.

YFN looked up at Lucy a little guilty, her lips pressed together, dimple on full display. “I want all of you. I don’t want to have to wait.”

“Are you… okay after last night?”

She nodded. “That’s part of it, I think. I feel like I lost control of myself at the bar, and I just need… I need to feel like I’m in control of my body again. This is my life, these are my choices, and no one can take them away. And I’ll always choose you..”

Her palms were flat on Lucy’s abs, her body shaking as she rocked, feeling the strap slide in and out with a silky wetness that only Lucy could make her body produce. Lucy’s hands were on her hips, guiding her as she fucked herself while Lucy looked up at her like she was Aphrodite herself. YFN leant forward over Lucy and started taking the strap that way, moaning at the different angle, the wet fucking sound changing notes. Lucy was caught by surprise at the new angle she took so deep and needily. Her rhythm was so ruthless and the new position felt so good on her clit that Lucy knew she’d orgasm soon. Her hands tightened on her hips, her own hips thrusting up to meet hers. Lucy’s back arched and her head bowed back.

“Oh…ffffuck. That’s th…the spot. Fuck. I can’t… I can’t keep.. God I’m going to come.”

This only encouraged YFN who’s pace increased slightly, her hands either side of her head, looking down at her whimpering Lucy. She took her right to the edge, knowing just how well the strap was riding her clit and just before she came, she sat back upright and changed her approach. Lucy came back to life, whimpering at the orgasm she was just denied.

“Little one… I… I was…”

“I know,” YFN panted, her hands again on Lucy’s abs as she rode her. “I know.. just let me get a little closer first and we can finish it together, Luce… argh… just…fuck…just give me a minute. It’ll feel so much better n…now that you’re frustrated.”

Lucy’s hands on her hips encouraged her some more, almost fully picking her up and slamming her back down again. Her hips eagerly thrusted upwards, as deep as she could go. Her little Australian was riding her so well and god, she was a sight. Hair down and well messed by Lucy’s hands during their sex, mouth still wet from the taste of Lucy, her lips swollen and bruised. Her tits were bouncing and excited, nipples out and well sucked. Lucy pulled herself up and grabbed a nipple in her mouth, eagerly sucking the sensitive bud. YFN whimpered and grabbed her hair, holding her head to her tit while she sucked. And god, she sucked. And licked. And nibbled. When she was finished with the first, she moved onto the second and when YFN couldn’t bare it any longer, she pulled Lucy’s head back, making her groan in annoyance as her lips were forced to part with her nipple with a wet popping sound. YFN’s mouth found Lucy’s jaw and with one hand in her hair, she pulled back to give her access to that sharp jawline and strong neck. She nibbled and kissed along those areas that took up so much of her daily thoughts all the while continuously riding her in desperation and need. She knew Lucy wasn’t used to being in a situation like this, but her Englishwoman was taking it so well. Her hands moved from her hips to slide up YFN’s back, pressing her close as she moaned at the feel of her mouth on her throat. Their panting and moaning and swearing were filling the room along with the humidity from their sweaty bodies sliding against each other.

It was taking YFN a little longer than usual being her fifth orgasm of the night, but god, she was getting there. Her rhythm increased to more of a bounce, encouraged by Lucy’s thrusts upwards meeting hers.

“Fuck, you’re doing so well. You look so good, my love.” YFN pulled her mouth away from her neck and looked down at Lucy with hooded eyes. It’s the first time Lucy had ever called her that. She pushed Lucy onto her back again and pressed her hands into her tense abs to help her slide up and down the strap with a depth that she just couldn’t get any other way. The sound of fucking resonated the room, drowned out by their gasps and moans and whimpers. She could feel her wet excitement dripping down the insides of her thighs and undoubtably coating Lucy also. As she was about to come, she leant forwards again to her previous position, hands either side of Lucy’s head and she rode her until Lucy was so wound up that she couldn’t breath.

“Fuck….fuck…fuck…little one…y…yes… oh God….” Lucy had never not been in control of her orgasm and she didn’t realise, but it just made it so much more intense.

YFN leant down and swallowed her moans with her mouth, their tongues meeting. “Come with me, Luce…. Come… come with me…”

They came so hard and tight that they could barely move. A cry ripped from Lucy’s throat and YFN could barely continue to ride the strap as she was so clenched around it. Lucy shoved her up and down on it, needing that bit of friction on her clit to drag out her orgasm, knowing that YFN needed the same. They rocked until they came down, their movements slowing and relaxing.

YFN wasn’t an athlete like Lucy, but she’d just put in a hell of a workout. Her body was tingly and drained from her fifth orgasm, and she just wanted Lucy to hold her and kiss her to sleep. She managed to lift herself up off the strap and Lucy unharnessed, throwing it to the floor and pulling YFN down onto her. YFN laid her full body weight on her, head in her neck.

“You did so good, little one. So, so good.”

“I… I really like you Luce. My body just wants you again and again and it scares me how much I want you. Not just sex… I want you. All of you. Grumpy, happy, protective... sleepy.” She admitted huskily with a yawn into Lucy’s neck, and Lucy wondered if she were sleep talking.

Lucy hummed happily, her fingers tracing up and down her spine, finding those little back dimples at the bottom. “However much you want me, just know, I want you more. I’ll always keep you safe. I’ll always be right here.”

She knew she was speaking to herself as YFN was already asleep, her breathing had changed and her body was fully relaxed onto her. She pressed a kiss to her forehead and was similarly out like a light.

[its-ironic-right]

Coalecroux prompt idea as requested sir! Mayhap a double date with Frosty and Gricko?

Never written Gricko and Frost, I did my best??

There was no reason for this. They all fucking lived together for gods sake. ‘It’s a great idea Kremy, it’ll be fun!’ Baron help him.

It’s dinner and a show. Fucking dinner theater because Gricko found a place that did that sort of thing. He’d be surrounded by theater kids for a whole fucking evening. He wouldn’t survive.

“Listen Gid, I know we’re not that high up but I imagine if I throw myself out the window we can get out of this whole thing. Whatta ya say?” His eyes plead but Gideon just laughed.

“It’s dinner with our friends, no need to break into theatrics.”

“It’s a room full of grown up theater kids Gid! I don’t know if I can handle it! They’ll be projecting their voices right in my ear, doin’ all kinds of weird shit with their hands. And I have to sit there and pretend the whole thing isn’t a ridiculous waste of my time! And you know the food is shit, they’re too busy doin’ improv games to focus on a well executed menu.” For dramatic alligator that relied heavily on performance, he hated theater with a passion. If Gideon had to guess, it was an inferiority thing. Kremy lied for a living but theater was all lies. People had their guard down for an actor, not a conmen.

“Gricko and Frost want to go to dinner theater, I think it’ll be fun. We can throw bread rolls at the actors!” Kremy thought for a moment. This was tempting. He hated how ‘on’ those guys were, knocking them down a peg could be therapeutic.

“Fine. But if someone asks me to volunteer for a bit, I’m setting the place on fire.” Gideon wrapped an arm around his partner.

“I believe that’s my job.” Flaming hair burned a little hotter. Kremy snorted.

“Sure, but I want to be there when it happens.”

Dinner theater is not for the weak of heart. Gricko expected shenanigans. You couldn’t get the gang together in one place without shenanigans, but burning down a theater was not on his list.

“Gideon what the fuck!” Frost was incensed. He foolishly expected a quiet night out. A drink, maybe a light mystery depending on the story, and nice company. Sure they all lived relatively together, but it was so rare to get a quiet moment as a group.

The two couples lived in tandem like binary stars orbiting the same space. It worked out well for them most of the time. Gricko and Frost were two complimentary halves; larger than life Gricko and reserved Frost. They had a depth to them that people seldom saw. Gricko could go from his usual jovial self to serious when the time came; Frost could be cold and logical until the opportunity for his own fun arose. Yin and Yang, balanced. Kremy and Gideon were chaos incarnate.

“I told them I didn’t want to participate! I was extremely clear.” Gideon nods.

“It’s true, I heard him.” Gricko prodded at the burning rubble.

“Well he definitely didn’t heed that warning.” The goblin wondered where he could find marshmallows at this time of night. Frost brought a paw to his temple.

“One night. that’s all we asked, was one night where we could all just exist in peace.”

“That experience was NOT peaceful. The way that woman did jazz hands was menacing.” Gideon nodded. They heard a pop of exploding wine bottles.

“Next time you want a double date night, maybe no theater kids?” Frost sighed.

“Fine. Maybe we can go to a concert or something.” Gricko’s face brightened.

“Oh! I heard the Phil’s Harmonic is coming into town, maybe we could do that!”

“You mean a philharmonic? Like an orchestra?”

“No, it’s a guy named Phil on the harmonica. I’ve heard great things about his latest blues number.” Kremy didn’t love the blues, he was more of a jazz man himself, but it sounded infinitely more entertaining than whatever the fuck they just witnessed.

“Fine, we can go to Phil’s Harmonic. But I want a guarantee there will be no thespians, mimes, or clowns involved.” Gideon shivered.

“Gods no more clowns please.” Gricko nodded vigorously.

“Nope! Just a bullywog named Phil that loves the harmonica.” A fiery dinner roll shot through a window. Frost patted at the flames eating his pants.

“I believe we should make our escape. It seems the singing waiters are chucking projectiles.” Kremy adjusted his hat. He held out an arm, Gideon hooked his around it. It was a beautiful night out. Stars shone above the billowing smoke, little lights almost obscured by ash.

“I could go for something sweet.”

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Taiga Crane Game 4* Card Story

ran pov

chapter 1 -game centre-

saki: (Unei-san told me that a cast member had left a message that they’d like me to meet them here…)

taiga: Looks like they’ve installed a new action controller over there… Hweheh, it was worth coming to the first day of play testing. Next I’ll try a different combination of attacks~….

-saki walks over to him-

saki: Taiga-san, sorry for making you wait.

taiga: Saki-san…? Wasn’t expecting to see you here, what a coincidence.

saki: Coincidence…? You mean you weren’t the one that left that message asking for me to come here?

taiga: Message? Nope, that wasn’t—

-ran appears-

ran: It was me, me! I’m the one who left it! I was the one who called ya out here, Nee-chan. Actually, why are ya even here Taiga? Are ya bein’ all clingy actin’ like you’re her boyfriend or somethin’?

taiga: Scary, he just picked a fight with me as easily as he breathed. I’m here because an arcade version of a mobile game I play just came out, that’s all.

saki: So you play arcade games as well as phone games, Taiga-san?

taiga: Yeah, I guess. I play a bit of everything really. Despite being the same game there’s different skills in the arcade version compared to the mobile version… Like the cabinet that’s being play tested here for example has a rare special skill that’s only available in the arcade version. But well, if there’s anything about game’s you want to know more about just let me know.

saki: You sure know a lot, Taiga-san. It’s reassuring having you here.

ran: When ya played that fightin’ game way back I remember that ya lost hopelessly though~!*

taiga: That’s because my opponent was an anomaly.

ran: Oh really~? Makin’ excuses is lame ya know.

taiga: I mean, if you had been my opponent I definitely wouldn’t have lost.

ran: What was that just now? I don’t think I heard ya correctly?

taiga: I said that if it were a match between you and me, my victory would be guaranteed. My experience level is simply that much higher than yours.

ran: Damn you’re really talkin’ yourself up, aren’t ya? A match that uneven wouldn’t be fun at all! If ya wanna go then let’s have a crane game showdown!

taiga: Huh? I mean that’s fine too, but why the crane games?

ran: I have some tricks up my sleeve too.

taiga: Well whatever it is there’s no way in hell I’m losing. 

saki: (It suddenly became a competition…)

ran: I’m definitely gonna take out the win, so make sure ya watch me, Nee-chan!

taiga: Is it not obvious that I’m gonna win? Saki-san can be our witness then.

saki: Umm… Then, Ran-san, Taiga-san, do your best!

(*note: I think they’re referring to the trick or truth event story where taiga lost to gui in a fighting game)

-

chapter 2 -game centre-

taiga: When it comes to games there’s no way I’m gonna lose. I’ll show Ran that I can win this contest.

saki: Good luck!

taiga: My first target will be those boxes of sweets. It’s the most suitable for working out the specifics of how the crane’s arm and claw works. It’s an important factor you need to check.

saki: Those look like they’d be really hard to pick up… The box is smooth so it would slip easily.

taiga: That’s exactly why I’m going for them. Ah well, you’ll understand in a minute. Watch closely now.

-taiga starts playing the crane game-

taiga: Let’s see, for the horizontal placement… about there should be good. And then then… about that far back. Perfect. Go, Crane-chan!

-cg

taiga: Heck yeah!

saki: Yay, it picked the box up! Ah, but it looks like it might fall!

taiga: Don’t worry, this is all according to plan.

saki: It slipped out…? Amazing, you really did get it!

taiga: The centre of gravity on these kinds of boxes is right in the middle. However, if you position the claw in a way that’s slightly off centre, then they’ll slip and fall right into the prize collection shoot as you saw. Well, this is just scratching the surface of kinds of the techniques you can use. Here, you can take the prize.

saki: Thank you. I’m happy to receive a gift from you.

taiga: …….

taiga: I think I’ll try this machine again.

saki: Hm? Are you sure?

taiga: Yeah, it’s easy mode. It’s always convenient having some snacks around. I can munch on them whilst messing around on my computer… By the way, is there a specific kind that you want in there?

-time pass-

saki: Woah, you’ve won so many! You really are great at this. I wonder how your competition with Ran-san will pan out?

taiga: Competition…? Oh right, that was a thing. He started it didn’t he? At first I just didn’t want to lose to Ran, but then I started thinking that as long as you’re enjoying yourself then I’m a winner either way.

—end

[granulesofsand]

Past Present and Future

I feel like there isn’t a right time to disclose our trauma history. Our therapist always scolds us when we do, and it’s never gone well. Not always bad, but never good.

Roommates, professors, friends. There’s a window of opportunity, but we usually don’t make it that far. The roommates we told because they kept asking; they called the police. Our ASL professor sent out surveys, always asking if there was anything else to know about us; she never acknowledged our reply.

We told two people a little of our past, them and another about our plurality, and we talk to none of them regularly. One shut down as we told them, the second was mostly our friend because we’d known each other so long, the last we’ll likely not see again.

Even begging for help with the legal group or the student services, nothing. Nobody can hold space for us. We cry out that we will die, they say it’s unfortunate and turn away.

We’re rushing to get safe enough to guarantee literally any future, but our efforts are invisible. We get in trouble with grades and programs because we can’t prioritize them but don’t want to give them up completely.

We want someone to see us and care. It’s not a matter of knowing boundaries or not oversharing, it’s having to lie and hide active threats out of fear that we will be totally alone if we don’t. Superficial relationships with people I don’t remember.

If we make it another six months, we can run for good. Maybe not immediately, but a fighting chance. Desperately hoping that this time will really be the end and we will have won.

We’re going on a trip to a place we were programmed with cult-involved family. It’s only a week or so, but so much can happen in that time. The only way to turn them down at this point would be running away early, which we already know won’t work.

They know we told their secrets. If it were just a trip, we could hope it was innocent. There is no doubt now. We even got one of those weird calls with the dial tones from our mother. She said it was a butt-dial when we asked what that was about.

I’m deciding how to time this post; I don’t want to cause problems, but I do want someone to know in case we disappear. Even if we come out of this one, our next deathdate is fast approaching.

We still have to pretend this is fine, go about daily life with school and chores. The university already knows our story, so I guess we’re a casualty to them. There’s a humor to it all. We’ve got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, yet we still need groceries tomorrow.

If we don’t come back, we either got sucked back into the cult or died. Either way, we won’t have the capacity to be angry anymore. Maybe our grudges are strong enough to make us ghosts, could haunt our perps and any others we find.

The trees will turn and lose their leaves, the snow will cling to their branches. We’ll get to see these things at least once more— unless we get hit by a bus, that would be funny.

We’ve always been prepared to die, did all the little things for when we’re gone. Rings have been scattered, messages written on walls, secret gardens and strange knickknacks all set up. I might have time to find and dump that jar of glitter before we go, they’ll never get rid of that.

I wish we could find freedom, but it’s been alright. We were never meant to live this long, so I can hardly complain after a few nice months compared to everything prior. Kinda hope there’s a hell, though. Got some dead assholes I’d love the kneecaps off of.

Just in case: goodbye. It’s been a good run.

[sketchyfletch]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @feralkwe (thank you!)

How many works do you have on AO3?

11. I also have various ones scattered on ff.net, as well as lost to time on livejournal and a graveyard on my googledrive. 

What’s your total AO3 word count?

77246. In terms of fic writing output, I’m one of those little pilot fish that hangs around friendly sharks. 

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Dragon Age and the Arcana mobile game. I want to write more Mass Effect and I’ve done a Yasmin/Thirteen Dr Who ficlet. I used to write a lot of stuff for Naruto in my teens. 

What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Little Tender Loving Care - Arcana. Smut. Giving Nadia a massage. 

A Little Stronger You Thought - Arcana. A sparring practice with Nadia gets a bit hot and sweaty. Not actually smut this time. 

Won’t You Cleanse My Soul - Arcana. And we’re back to Smut. The bathroom scene taken to a conclusion not in the game. 

Not So Clean - Mass Effect. Smut again! Shepard and Traynor share a shower. 

Alone At Last - Dr Who. After Ryan and Graham leave the TARDIS, Yasmin and Thirteen finally push past a barrier in their friendship. 

Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I didn’t used to, but I love giving energy back to the people who took the time to write. 

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Back in my ff.net days, Leliana grieving after losing the Warden to the Ultimate Sacrifice. It implies Leliana dying as well. The angiest one on AO3 is Let it All Out, with Hawke spilling her guts to Leliana over everything that’s happened since they last saw each other in Lothering.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Alone At Last. Most of my one shots have a happy ending but this in particular. 

Do you get hate on fics? 

I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid it, although I have had a couple of ‘helpful’ comments telling me what I should do with the characters next (which is a guaranteed way to make me go in the opposite direction, not least so the commenter can’t claim credit for the idea). 

Do you write smut?

Cough. See above. 

Do you write crossovers?

I sort of am between Dragon Age games as I like bringing characters from one game and putting them in the setting of another. I’ve also been picking at a ‘Shepard crash lands on the Wounded Coast’ fic which I’m not sure will ever see the light of day. 

Have you had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve co-written a lot of storylines on forums, some of which have sprung out into me working on fics separately, but not collaborated on a fanfic before. 

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That’s a tough one. I adore Isabela/F Hawke, and ship Leliana very specifically with my jabby Siali Tabris, but if I was to pick one it would be Korra/Asami. When the first season of Korra came out I made a post on tumblr commenting on the chemistry between the two and really liking the idea of them together, but stating that the network would never, ever let it happen. (Child of the mid-2000’s ‘bury your gays’ wars here.) Having it come true was huge from a cultural standpoint, and I remember sitting at the computer sobbing my eyes out at the finale. It was so important to me so for that reason, I think they’ll always been my OTP even if I never write a fic for them. 

Which now I want to. Dammit. 

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really, really want to write more of Aliyah Hawke’s story. I love DA2 but Hawke as a protagonist never grabbed me by the brainstem in the way my Warden and Inquisitor did. I want to build her up some more. She has five chapters up on AO3 and I want to save her from the ashes. 

What are your writing strengths?

I’m told I’m good at distinctive character voices. I like to switch around POVs a lot during fics to give different perspectives on familiar scenes, and the way I write inner monologues is very specific to the character who is the focal point at that time. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m not an especially funny writer. Some people have a real knack for turns of phrase that leave you rolling on the floor, and sadly I am not one of those people. 

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done this a lot as Nicolette is either Orlesian or French depending on what world she’s inhabiting at the point I’m writing her, and in reference to her faceclaim also has Indian/Rivaini ancestry, so I’d sprinkle her speech with bits of whatever her mother tongue is. I’ve learned to be increasingly careful about this because a) a lot of free translation tools are absolute arse and b) context is very important. 

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I’m actually currently writing it. ‘I Cannot Fly, So Let Me Sing’ started as a joke of me taking my very pacifist wandering minstrel character who I have been playing for years and playing with the canon like a ball of yarn until I could justify making her Inquisitor. It has been great working her into the story and also trying to weave in other character POVs, but I am currently taking a bit of a break as I have two bridging/important infodump chapters to write before I can move onto the next bit and I am STUCK. 

Tagging @shenaniginstigations, @aithne and @zombolouge

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Falling (Alec Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: Gore! Death!

The day had started off so well, peaceful. More peaceful than it had been the past couple of days prior. Yet things went down hill as night fell and seemed to only get worse. Eventually you were told what was happening. The Volturi was under attack. 

Aro didn't have to touch Alec to know his thoughts as his gaze fixated on you. He couldn't leave you unprotected but couldn't neglect the leaders. Ultimately, you were sent to be with the wives who were at the very top of the tower, guards standing guard at the entrance. 

"Everything will be fine." Athenodora told you as she gripped your arms tightly. "Our husbands will be with us soon. You don't need to fear." Sulpicia added. You nodded but were unable to hold back tears. Athenodora pulled you into her arms, holding you close. Her motherly instinct coming through in your moment of need. Truth be told, the Volturi were ever so slightly more attached to you than regular humans. Not just because you were Alec's mate but also because you were very unlike them. You were completely innocent and it often made vampires wonder just what Alec saw in you considering the two of you were so different. Now if anyone were to question it, Alec would lose his temper considering it an attack on you. It also meant you were very sheltered by the Volturi. You didn't know the details of Alec's past. Only the necessary parts and you knew next to nothing of what he had done over the centuries. Alec wanted it that way, considering it to hurt you more than anything. It wouldn't have been to your benefit. 

Before you could be reassured any further, there was loud thuds, one after the other. Athenodora gestured for you to go to the other side of the room. Whatever caught their eye made both Sulpicia and Athenodora hiss and growl. As they moved to maintain their distance, a man, also a vampire, made his way into the room. He had platinum blonde hair and striking red eyes. "Good evening ladies." He smirked, his accent very prominent. He cast a glance to you. "Good evening to you too, little human." You stayed quiet, nervous and something about the man told you that you had every reason to be-even if you don't know those reasons. "I assume you may not know me. I doubt they'd tell you and judging by your face I would be correct." He grinned at you, the grin sinister. "My name is Vladimir and I have some business to attend to with this coven." You trembled in fear as you looked between who you now knew to be Vladimir, Athenodora and Sulpicia. "Shaking like a leaf." Vladimir said to himself, his eyes running up and down your figure. "I wonder if you'd do the same if you knew what those witch twins have done in their wretched existence." "It's alright, sweetheart." Athenodora called out from behind him. "You'll be alright." "Don't say that." Vladimir said softly, over his shoulder. "It's a lie." "They aren't involved in this. Don't hurt them when they are innocent." Sulpicia responded. Vladimir scoffed. "Since when did the Volturi ever care for innocents?" Vladimir said coldly before turning his attention to you once more. "They're involved now. Alec is the one infatuated with you, isn't it? Or was it Jane? I'm quite certain it was Alec." Vladimir was in front of you in moments. You stifled a scream, biting your lips and breathing quickly. Vladimir tilted his head with sympathy, whether it was real sympathy or not, you couldn't be sure. "Poor thing, you'll have a heart attack if you don't calm yourself little one." Vladimir took your face in his hands and you froze. "Come now, deep breaths. I want you aware for what comes next." You did as he asked, simply out of fear of what would happen if you did not. "That's it." He said with a malicious smile. "I must inform you that Alec isn't coming for you. You see, the higher ranked guards have their leaders as priority and their leaders...are only really concerned for their remaining mates. They're going to discover that I've incapacitated their guards protecting their wives." You immediately thought to Afton, Chelsea, Corin and then Renata. Although she must have been with Aro. Vladimir continued. "I have no doubt they'll come in time for them. I can't say the same for you, little one."

A tear ran down your face and Vladimir brushed it away with his thumb. "Are you going to kill me?" You asked quietly between breaths. Vladimir nodded with a hum. You immediately broke out into sobs, terrified of the man who had your head in his hands. Vladimir hushed you softly. "I know, it's not fair. However, if you knew... you'd understand." He walked you back towards the balcony door. "I'm not going to bite you. I'm not going to break your neck. I'm not going to do anything like that. That's too easy and I don't particularly want you to suffer. I want that wretched witch twin to suffer. Although I'm not going to guarantee you a painless death." "Vladimir..." Athenodora called, trying to take his attention from you, a small but desperate attempt to save your life. "I know, even I am struggling to go through with this. That terrified face, a little human who doesn't understand what's happening around them. Even I can feel sympathy." Vladimir said to the wives as he stared into your eyes. "Then don't." Sulpicia said flatly. "You've made your point." "No, I haven't." Vladimir responded. "You took everything from me. I will make you all suffer and those witch twins will know the feeling of what it's like to lose someone you love. When every last one of you are in pieces. Only then, will I have made my point." His face softened once more. "However, I will extend my apologies to you. You seem to be a lovely person but the company you keep...not so much. So you pay the price. That is the way of the world." 

Before you could even register what was happening, Vladimir forcefully walked you back before pushing you hard. Your eyes widened, mouth opening with a silent scream as you felt your body topple over the banister. Vladimir turned back to the wives with a smirk. "Do you really think me such a fool that I wouldn't notice Jane slowly getting closer?" 

Vladimir was thoroughly enjoying the current predicament. He had both you and the wives in the same room and at his mercy. He would enjoy it for as long as he could. Therefore Jane had to be particularly careful. She couldn't rush there, not when you were there. There was a better chance at keeping all three of you alive if she moved slowly, let him talk as she sneaked closer. However she knew she had to get there before any were hurt. Jane heard your pounding heart and then your sobs when Vladimir made his intentions known. She made it to her room and stilled. This would be the one place she had a good chance at hiding as it was filled with her scent. 

From this point onwards, she had to be quick. However she couldn't being herself to move. She looked up towards the ceiling, listening for the tower. Vladimir had moved, as you had and realisation struck. She wouldn't make it in time, not for you. The wives yes, but not you. She couldn't let the panic set in even though she knew it was over. The next thing she knew, you were falling. 

Everything went quiet for you, only the wind whistling in your ears as you floated. Maybe if you thought you were floating, it wouldn't be so frightening. Although the thought didn't help because you weren't floating. You were falling. You couldn't even scream, clawing the air as though that would have stopped you. If you didn't move, you'd land head first and if you had to land, then you didn't want it to be on your head. 

For Jane, time slowed down as soon as she saw you passing her window. The two of you locked eyes for a moment. Her shocked eyes meeting your terrified ones. There was so much she wanted to tell you in that moment and even more so, she wanted to grab you but couldn't believe her eyes. You were falling too quick and she wouldn't reach you in time. 

Time seemed to gain speed once more once you passed the window. All the while Jane rushed to the window, falling to her knees letting out a scream of horror. Her twins mate was falling to their death and she couldn't do anything about it. You had moved, you'd land on your back but suddenly that didn't matter anymore. You knew you wouldn't survive this. You looked up at the sky- trying to ignore how the castle's tower grew taller and taller by the second. 

Glass shattering was the next sound to be heard beyond Jane's scream. Demetri and Felix were running towards Jane whilst Alec headed towards the shattering glass. Demetri and Felix rushed into Jane’s room, four stories up the tower. Jane was supposed to be guarding the entrance to the tower and to hear her scream was beyond concerning as well as frightening. The two men found her on her knees, staring at the window. "What-" Demetri couldn't finish his sentence because multiple stories down, Alec's own scream could be heard. "Alec!" Jane screamed as she clutched the floor boards, almost as though in pain. In agony for her twin. 

Alec could smell the blood, but didn't think it could be yours. However when he found your body sprawled out across the ground surrounded in glass and covered with cuts and blood. There was more than that though, a small steady pool of blood had began to grow from underneath you. The smell of blood suddenly for overwhelming, along with the shock. He slapped a hand over his mouth and nose, throwing himself against the stone wall behind him. Before he could hold back, Alec let out a gut wrenching, agonized scream. 

The receptionist, Carmella, rushed in hearing the commotion. Perhaps it was a foolish thing to do, if anything survival instinct should have told her to run the opposite direction of the screams but they sounds so pained and panicked, with so many other emotions there was surely a list. She gasped, a cry of horror escaping her when she opened the door to see you across the room, sprawled out on the ground, surrounded by glass. A hole in the glass roof where you had fallen through. Carmella turned hearing more cries and screams in the corner. Alec had nearly indented the wall with his attempt to push himself back. His hands covering his nose and mouth but his screaming was so loud that it did nothing to really muffle the screams. Carmella was quick to take off her heels rushing towards you. "Help them!" Alec began to scream. "(Y/N)!" Alec continued to scream and cry as Carmella moved as much glass as she could to allow her room. "They're not breathing!" Alec cried out in hysteria. Carmella was quick to press a finger to her lips, doing her best to calm him despite the scene having her tremble too. "Alec, shh! You need to be quiet, these men are still here!" "Save my (Y/N)!" Alec yelled back. "Alec, you need to stop screaming! I will try to help them but you'll bring them here. Don't scream!" Carmella pleaded.  Alec curled into himself, still in hysterics, but not screaming as much. Mostly talking to himself, begging you not to leave him, inconsolable for his (Y/N). Carmella looked at your lidded eyes, swallowing hard. You were younger than her and to see you lifeless hit her very hard. She put her hands on your chest, pressing down repeatedly. After sometime, stopping to pinch your nose and breathing twice into your mouth. You didn't respond and she repeated the process. "(Y/N), please!" Alec begged. "You can't leave me! Please! Wake up!" Alec took a deep unnecessary breath. "Breathe!" He screamed. 

Athenodora looked at Vladimir with disgust but was unable to hide her own grief. "Breathe!" They heard Alec scream. "Now he knows what that feels like." Vladimir said flatly. "Now he knows what that loss feels like." Vladimir smirked slightly. "Maybe he has it worse. Our kind are still alive when ripped to pieces, it's the fire that kills us. Humans are such fragile beings." Athenodora glowered at him. "You chose the easier target, that is all." "No I chose the one you least expected." Vladimir retorted. "You're all so busy protecting yourselves. You would know, you're kept in a tower. That all of you forgot the easier target. I know how much that human means to many of you. Him, no less." Vladimir nodded behind him, talking about Alec. "Aren't they they child you never had?" Vladimir asked, tilting his head. Athenodora glared at him. "You don't know what you're talking about." "I'll admit, they almost had me. That face, filled with fear. They're innocent, I'll give them that much but this world punishes you for the company you keep." Vladimir sighed. "I'll admit expect you two will put up more fight, won't you?" Athenodora and Sulpicia stared him down, they wouldn't show him any fear. They wouldn't give him the luxury. Instead, they looked at him in anger. 

"Come back to me!" Alec cried out as Carmella bit her lip, beginning to lose hope. "Breathe!" Alec pleaded. "Please, breathe!" Carmella froze, she could have sworn you moved. "Alec?" Carmella said quickly, feeling for a pulse. However, Alec was too distraught to hear anything. "Alec!" Carmella yelled. It was enough to gain his attention. "Are they breathing? Are the alive!?" Carmella continued to dig around your neck for a pulse when Alec gasped. At the same time Carmella felt it. A faint pulse, but there. "They're... they're alive." Alec said quietly, eyes wide with disbelief. In that time Demetri rushed in. His eyes darted around the room, taking in the scene. "Is there a heart beat!?" It was Carmella's turn to feel hysteria as it slowly built up. "It's...it's still there." Alec said quietly. If he could have cried he would have. The relief, silencing him.  "It won't last long." Demetri ground out before looking to Alec. Alec looked back at Demetri, understanding what Demetri had to do. Alec nodded.  Demetri moved Carmella out of the way. "Carmella, leave. Get out of here." Demetri ordered and she did.  Demetri moved your head to the side, biting your neck, moving your head to the other side before biting your neck again. He took both of your wrists, biting each. "I can't do anymore. I won't be able to stop." Alec nodded. "Four should be enough." 

Carmella broke out into a run before being face to face with Stefan. She screamed before Stefan roughly grabbed her by the neck. "You are interfering." Stefan snarled before biting into Carmella's neck and pulling back, taking any flesh latched against his teeth with him. Carmella immediately began to choke, as Stefan dropped her to the ground. Alec and Demetri heard the commotion. With a newfound calm Alec turned to Demetri with a dark look in his eyes. "Get them out of here." Demetri understood. Alec couldn't take you away from here, the smell of your blood being too much. Demetri's gaze flickered to the door. It seemed Alec had other ideas. Demetri nodded, scooping you up. 

Alec marched down the hall, seeing red, everywhere he went. Before him was Carmella, choking on her own blood. He bent down. "Thank you." Alec said without emotion. "I am grateful for all you have done to save my (Y/N). I'll make this easier for you." Alec took Carmella's head in his hands as she continued to choke, but maintained eye contact with him. He twisted quickly with ease as and loud snap erupted.  With ease, Alec stood up once more, hunting down every last one who was responsible for your possible demise. Alec wasn't stupid, you were still in danger, you had to survive the change and whilst that was still to be known, the hurt and rage he felt continued to build. 

"Jane, have you fed?" She heard Demetri demand as he marched down the hall. "Yes." She opened the door, meeting Demetri with your limp body. She let out a choked gasp. "Are they...?" "I had to. They had already died once." Demetri said quickly and Jane swallowed, remembering your eyes locking with hers as you fell. "Will you stay with them?" Demetri asked as he put you on the bed. "Yes. You go. Make them suffer for this." Jane said firmly. "I won't lie to you, Jane." Demetri said, turning to meet her gaze. "If Alec gets to them first, there won't be much left." 

Aro, Caius, Marcus, Renata, Santiago and other guards burst through the tower doors. Immediately, Caius and Aro grabbed their wives, pulling them behind them. Vladimir simply grinned, raising a finger. "Can you hear it? The agony of losing a mate?" They all could, Alec's screams, Jane's agony for her twin. Vladimir turned to Marcus specifically. "You and I know that pain better than anybody." Marcus glowered at him. He could tolerate being the cause of misery for many, he had taken many mates from others but seeing his mates killer before him, grinning at the loss of Alec's mate was something that filled him with rage. Yet he did not move. Vladimir was alone and with them and if the Volturi had anything to say about it, he wouldn't be leaving alive. "I have a whole castle to my disposal so, stick together is my advice." Within seconds Vladimir jumped over the same balcony you had, in the other side from which you fell and landed on the roof. Then he was gone. 

"Santiago, help Afton, Chelsea and Corin." Aro said lowly. "Dear ones, we best find a safe place...for now." The group had moved to Jane's room, where Demetri was just about to take his leave. This was the safest place they could be, Jane being one of their greatest weapons. Athenodora smoothed back your hair, kneeling at your bedside. "You're going to be alright sweetheart." She said quietly. Her eyes ran over your broken, bruised and bloodied body as the group were updated on what happened to you after the fall. Demetri explained he was the one to change you, biting four times but it was the self control he had left. Aro wasn't entirely certain it would be enough considering the amount of damage you had taken. Nearly all of your bones were broken and the venom needed to travel throughout your body before your heart gave up for a second time. "Let me." Jane said suddenly, from the other side of you from Athenodora. "Let me match the number of Demetri's bites." "Jane, your self control isn't as refined as Demetri's, even if you have just fed. Can you be certain you could stop four times?" Marcus responded. Jane hesitated. "I have to try. I can't let them...they can't die." She whispered. "Do as much as you can." Athenodora said firmly, reaching for Jane's hand. "I'll take over if I need to." "Athen-" Caius spoke up but she cut him off. "Caius, if you don't support my decision then do so but keep it to yourself. (Y/N) will be one of us and I refuse to lose another person I loved to the Romanians, to anyone." The group knew immediately she was talking about Didyme. Athenodora had struggled greatly when Didyme died. She had lost a sister and it nearly broke her. When the twins introduced you to her, she loved you immediately. Something about you drew you in and made her feel protective of you. Whenever Caius gave you a hard time, as he did everyone, Athenodora would shut him down on it immediately. She was the only person who could. However Caius, knew you were different to Athenodora, you weren't her sister. Athenodora couldn't help but look at you as though you were her child. Filling the motherly role you had since lost when being brought into the vampire world by Alec. It came so naturally that it even rubbed off on Caius ever so slightly. He was harder on you not just because you were human but because he cared. Almost taking the fatherly role but refusing it with every fibre of his being. Yet no matter how much he tried, his intentions were always in your best interest. No matter how hard on you he was. 

Caius sighed, moving to his wife's side on the floor before looking to Jane. "If it's too much, you stop. We'll take over." Jane nodded, looking at you one last time before leaning towards your shoulder. Jane managed two bites, cursing herself for her poor self control. Whilst Aro reminded her that it takes more self control to change someone in such a condition, if anything it showed how much self control she could find within herself. As Aro reassured Jane, Caius and Athenodora nodded to one another before she bit down.  Athenodora hadn't changed anyone before despite being one of the oldest vampires in existence. She reeled back trying to focus on you rather than your blood in her mouth, mixed with venom. Caius gripped her hand, silently questioning her. She squeezed his hand. She just needed to do it one more time. He nodded to her, silently promising he would help her. They managed to match the number of Demetri's bites, four turning to eight on various places of your body. It was rare to have more than one vampires venom. Although it meant that if anyone had attachments to the Volturi, it was you. You had Athenodora's vemon, attaching you to her, as well as Caius by extension. Demetri's venom and Jane's venom. Whilst it wasn't Alec's venom, Jane was his biological twin. It was the next best thing. You were their responsibility. 

Usually someone would be thrashing in agony. They couldn't help but wonder why you were still but your heart pounding almost out of your chest, stronger than ever. Aro and Marcus came to the realisation before anyone else.  Almost all of your bones were broken, you wouldn't have been able to move. Alec turned to be met with Demetri and Felix. Their eyes turning black by the second but nothing close to Alec's completely pitch black ones. "Need a hand?" Felix smirked, eager for the hunt and fight almost immediately. "As we speak, Afton and Santiago are making their way towards us. Renata, Corin and Chelsea are with the masters. (Y/N) is in good hands." Before Alec could respond Afton and Santiago had arrived. "They're going to suffer." Alec said through a clenched jaw. "Damn right." Felix grinned and Alec appreciated how quickly Felix had agreed. Alec turned to Demetri. "You know where they are?" It was Demetri's turn to smile as he nodded. "Then let's go get them." Afton spoke up. "Make them hurt." "You're not usually the type to encourage violence." Felix smirked at Afton. Afton looked at Felix. "Vladimir took Chelsea's head off before me. He's given me just as much of a reason as he has Alec. As far as I see it, doing that to (Y/N) was more than enough for brutality. I'm more than happy to assist for my Chelsea." Felix clapped Afton on the shoulder. "Good man. We'll show 'em not to mess with our mates." 

"We need to move their head." Marcus noted softly, looking at you. It was clear your neck was healing judging by the bones beginning to knit together once more, less jutting out and threatening to break the skin. Marcus delicately moved your head that had moved to the side and held it straight. With a pop, the venom swarmed the remaining broken areas. It's success was heard when a broken pained exhale passed through your nose. Marcus carefully let go, allowing your now completely healed neck to rest.  “It's their spinal cord, just under their skull." Marcus answered Athenodora's silent questioning as to what the popping had been. "What about the back of their head?" Sulpicia asked. "They're laying on it and..." She trailed off. Judging by the look on Athenodora's face, she struggled to finish the sentence. That your head was caved in and bloody from the back. "It'll be fine, my dear." Aro reassured his mate. "The venom will fix it. It may just take a little longer." "I want to make them hurt." Jane ground out, gaining the attention of the rest of the group. She glared at the wall, jaw clenched tightly. "You must stay with us, dear one." Aro responded. "Your brother has this handled. You know him. Those two will have hell to pay." Marcus added. "The look in (Y/N)'s eyes as they fell. They were terrified. They looked at me and I couldn't do anything to stop it." Jane continued somewhat weakly. Athenodora rose from her chair to Jane's side and pulled her in. Athenodora kissed the side of Jane's head delicately. "You did everything we could have ever expected you to. (Y/N) knows that. There was nothing you could have done. Don't torment yourself so." Jane stared at you from her own seat as Athenodora cradled Jane as best she could standing up.  "After all these years, the Romanians still don't understand one simple thing." Caius said. "What's that?" Jane asked. "That they might win some battles but the Volturi always win the war." Caius said with ease. 

Stefan was fast but Afton was faster. Afton had him by the neck, turning visible once more. "You've made quite a mistake coming here." Santiago said from behind Stefan. "Ready to pay the price?" Felix asked, grinning widely. "You did it to yourselves." Stefan responded before swiping at Afton. "What was it Vladimir said up at the tower again?" Felix asked. "Anyone recall?" "I believe the words were 'you seem to be a lovely person but the company you keep- not so much. So you must pay the price.' " Santiago responded. " 'That is the way of the world.' " Demetri added. "So you'll understand what comes next, won't you?" Felix grinned. The group lunged at Stefan. 

Sulpicia was the first to make comment on the brutality they could hear. Tearing, ripping, snarls, growls and groans as well as many thuds of footsteps and likely bodies hitting the ground. "Such brutality..." She said as though considering the sounds to be impolite. As though higher than what was happening. "Good." Athenodora said darkly. "I hope they do more." 

Stefan was covered in cracks, his limbs jutting out in odd angles, some nearly torn from him completely. Alec kneeled down, his knee going on Stefan's chest who groaned as he felt the cracks along his chest get pushed in further, threatening to tear more. "I'm going to make you both hurt. Just as (Y/N) did. I will break every bone and just when you think I'm done. You'll realise it's only the beginning." 

After staring at you for some time, Athenodora rose from her seat once more. Immediately going to Jane's bathroom with a random bowl shaped decoration, she turned on the tap, filling it with warm water. "What are you doing, my love?" Caius called out to her. She re-emerged with the bowl and a towel. "Getting some of the blood out of their hair. When they wake up, the last thing we need is to either scare them or having them try feed from their own blood." Athenodora said firmly. "Jane, might I use your comb?" Jane nodded immediately grabbing it and moving towards Athenodora. Sulpicia sighed with reluctance. "Very well, I'll get the other side." She went into the bathroom and returned with another towel. "Are you dividing each section and working through?" Sulpicia asked. "Yes." Athenodora said quietly, already focused on the section she had. She was delicate with her tactic. She started at the bottom of your hair and worked her way up to the roots, wetting the comb every so often as red smeared the crisp white towel. Caius couldn't help but be in awe of his wife as always. He was certain no one had even considered taking the blood out of your hair the whole time yet she was the first. "We're going to have to clean them properly when we can move them." Sulpicia said. "One thing at a time." Athenodora said quietly, swallowing hard. "Right now we just need to get the blood out." 

Alec gripped Stefan's head by his hair bringing it to eye-level. "I'm not done with you yet, you're coming with us." Afton looked at the scattered limbs across the room that were covered in cracks, including Stefan's face. "What do you want to do with these?" He asked. Alec cast a glance to the limbs too. "Leave them. They aren't going anywhere." The guards moved down the hall once more Alec having Stefan's head on proud display. "We're close." Demetri said quietly. Alec gripped Stefan's head tightly. He felt the rage build up in him and everyone knew exactly what was coming next. 

The guards were in an intense stare down with Vladimir. "You understand now, don't you? The pain you caused." "I took people from you." Alec said stoically. "I understand that." Alec lifted the head to Vladimir's line of sight. "I took another from you." Vladimir hissed, angered by the sight. "Or at least I will." Alec said before he tossed the head towards Vladimir. His eyes narrowed on Vladimir, his jaw tight. "You took my human from me." Alec began. "Maybe they'll survive this and be fine after this night but no matter how this ends- I'll never see my little human again." Alec's jaw twisted. "You hurt my mate and I will rip you limb from limb and make you suffer for it. You think I was bad back then? Well, you're about to face your worst nightmare. That was nothing! Nothing compared to what I will do now!" Alec began to hysterically scream, the other guards just barely catching up to him when he lunged at Vladimir. 

Demetri was the first to enter Jane’s room. "It's over." He said, confirming everyone's speculations. Everything had gone quiet after a long time of hearing Alec's constant screams. When it finally stopped, they couldn't help but think the Romanians were no more. The others followed through. Alec's eyes were pitch black and immediately moved to you on the bed. "For a second I thought Alec was going to put the Romanians back together with the other's limbs as well as a mix of their own. Neither of them went peacefully." Felix said. "They burn as we speak." Demetri said. Afton was next to move heading towards Chelsea, his hands cradling her face and inspecting her. 

Even after the rest left, Jane, Alec, Demetri and Felix remained with you. "What if they aren't...what if they won't...?" Alec trailed off unable to say the words. "Who knows if they hear us but...we have to think they'll survive. They will. They have to." Jane responded. After a moment of silence, Jane looked to her brother. "Talk to them. It'll help the two of you."  "Despite my appearance, I'm old (Y/N). So very old. You asked me how old I was when I was changed and I couldn't answer you. That's always been the one question my sister and I could never answer. We had forgotten any kind of clue to help us figure it out. Although it doesn't matter. I've been on this earth so very long. So if you could please just, save me a broken heart and survive this." Alec pressed your cold hand into his cheek tightly but still reminding himself to be gentle. "You're young. You- you need to survive this. I have seen some wicked things, oh, but sweet-face the beautiful things I have seen over so many years. I want to you to see it. Even more so I want you more selfishly for myself. I can't imagine continuing this existence without you. You have given me the most wonderful time I have ever had. I want more." Alec let out a short pained laugh. "I know you said you weren't fond of becoming a vampire but there are less extreme ways to go about it." Alec pressed a kiss to your hand, squeezing his eyes shut. "I know you're not that opposed though." He said quietly. "You promised me remember? You promised me I could keep you."  “They’ll make it, Alec.” Demetri assured him. “This is (Y/N). They’re one of the strongest humans we know.” Alec’s eyes drifted to Demetri. “They died already. I felt it, the pain of losing them and I can’t help but think it’s only the beginning.”  “It isn’t, we got them back.”  “Now they’re fighting for their life once again.” Felix cracked a smile. "That's love for you." He said simply, catching Alec, Demetri and Jane’s attention. “What?” Alec said in confusion.  "Funny thing I've noticed about humans, if they love you, they'll always come back to you." Felix smiled before meeting Alec’s eyes. “Believe me, (Y/N) will pull through.” Felix raised his index finger. “You can hear it.” They could. They could hear your heart pounding fast as the venom coursed through your body. “You’re right, (Y/N) died after that fall. However, we got them back and right now i am willing to bet that human is fighting with everything they have to wake up and come back to us.” 

The twins lowered you into the tub, in a sitting position but your back propped against the end of the bath. Allowing clear access for Alec to see the back of your head. He immediately faltered. "I can do this alone if you like?" Jane offered. Seeing her brothers black eyes with his face contorted as though pained by the sight and he was. Seeing your now healed head and remembering how it was previously as well as the large amount of blood dried into the back of your head was painful. Alec shook his head. "No, I'll help. It's healed. It's only the aftermath." Alec responded, mostly reminding himself. He grabbed the shampoo, pouring a large amount into his hand. Carefully, he rubbed it into your head. He'd never done this before but he couldn't consider this a positive first time given your condition. The white liquid began to foam and then redden by the second. Alec continued to work his fingers through your hair and scalp. As Alec dealt with your head, Jane got a damp cloth running it over the bite marks on your neck. She paused hearing her brother swallow down a moan of pain. She looked towards him. "There's still some glass...in their head." He managed out weakly. Jane said nothing at first, the venom should have pushed the glass out as it passed through healing any breaks in the skin. Although those remaining must have been dug in deep. "I don't want to hurt them." Alec said. "Brother, they're already in pain." Jane said weakly seeing how this tortured her brother. "The wounds will close immediately after." She reassured him as she stood up, digging for tweezers. She had never used them, never had the need for them yet she was glad she had them in that moment. Neither twin fond of the thought of digging into your head with their fingers. "Let me." She said quietly as Alec moved to give his sister some room. Her movements were delicate and quick four tiny pieces of glass removed quickly and effectively. However the two stared at the small pieces before looking at one another. Alec inspected your scalp, brushing the hair around. Where the glass had been imbedded. "No blood." He confirmed, his eyes widened slightly. That was a very good sign. Jane nodded with a small smile. "They're already closing up." Jane moved back to the side of the tub and Alec once more focused on your head. "I'll need to take their clothes off." Jane sighed. "We got anywhere we could reach at the time." Alec nodded. "I'll lift their head. Whilst you remove their shirt." If it had been anyone else, a comment would have been made about Alec seeing you topless. However, the twins could be significantly more mature about that than Felix. The one that was most likely to make such a comment. Thankfully, Felix had kept his distance...mostly thanks to Demetri who had him preoccupied. 

"They've begun to lose their colour." Jane said. "I thought so too, sister." Alec replied. The blood washed away from the bites with ease, leaving small prick-like dark holes that would be closing and change colour soon enough. 

Alec carried you back to the bed as Jane fixed the pillows. Gently, Alec lay you down. "There, that's better." Alec said, relieved that no longer had you been covered in dried blood. A gruesome reminder of what had happened to you. "We should go and feed now." Jane said, taking her brothers hand before he could consider refusing. 

A day passed. Alec's eyes widened as your head moved slightly. Your breathing had started to slow, your body forgetting the constant need to breathe. The movement wasn't rigid and forced out of you like movements and moans had been out of the agony. This movement looked more willing and peaceful. A soft exhale passing through your nose. 

When you woke up, it was Demetri and Felix's job to get you fed before Alec could even see you. He understood of course but Alec couldn't help the need to see you again. His gaze snapped towards any footsteps that neared throughout the eight hours you had been awake. Alec felt hopeful when Demetri returned. "Ah, you have returned, dear one." Aro smiled. "I trust (Y/N)'s first feeding was a success?" Demetri nodded. "They aren't driven constantly by the next meal but their control is as much as can be expected." His eyes moved to meet Alec's. "Someone really wants to see you." He smiled slightly, aware of Alec's emotions. "Bring them in." Aro said warmly. "Reunions can be such happy times." Demetri nodded at the permission. 

Felix entered, with you beside him. His eye was on you constantly, as everyone knew was necessary. However you didn't seem remotely bothered. Actually, it was as if you didn't know he was there. Your eyes immediately locking on Alec's. Alec broke formation immediately walking up to you. You looked at him in adoration, with new eyes, now bright red, seeing every little detail of him and seemingly, falling in love all over again. It was strange not hearing a heartbeat, or feeling warmth radiate off of you as Alec had grown accustomed to. He didn't want to startle you in any way, remembering you were still a newborn. You smiled at him brightly. When you reached out for him, he couldn't take it anymore. Against better judgement he quickly pulled you into him, his forehead against yours. His hands cradled your head as you continued to smile at him. Your own hands reaching up to cover his. He couldn't talk, emotions overwhelming him into silence whilst you seemed too focused on him to actually say anything. A few of the Volturi in the room couldn't help but smile at the scene. They knew how much Alec struggled and to see have you back with them, smiling when they thought you wouldn't make it was very much the happy ending Aro had always been so fond of.

[zuko-always-lies]

Unpopular Opinion: Zuko’s treatment of Mai is deeply toxic.

Mai is a character who is often maligned in the fandom, with it even occasionally being claimed that she was “abusive” toward Zuko. Any objective analysis of Mai’s behavior in her relationship with Zuko will instead find that she was, in fact, a shockingly good romantic partner, generally treating Zuko very well and being loyal to him far beyond reasonable expectation.  Claims that Mai behaved toxically toward Zuko seem to be instead founded in misogynistic expectations that women be perfect caretakers for the men in their lives.

That is not to say that the Zuko-Mai relationship isn’t still deeply toxic. However, its toxicity stems from the manner which Zuko badly mistreats Mai, often in ways which devalue her. Much more under the cut.

Our story begins in the first half of Book 3.  The vast majority of episodes there don’t show anything particularly toxic going on in the relationship. The most you can say is that they suggest that Zuko tends to dump his problems on others and doesn’t have best understanding of his girlfriend.

However, inevitably we must turn to “The Beach,” the episode which, by far, gets the most into the Zuko-Mai relationship. To say that Zuko doesn’t behave well toward Mai in this episode would be an understatement. I don’t speak here of Zuko’s unsuccessful attempts to please Mai early in the episode, but instead how badly he starts treating her beginning at the party:

Ruon Jian: Hey, first ones here, huh? Zuko: (cut to shot of Zuko and Mai walking side by side) Pft. He thinks he's so great. (to Mai) Well, what do you think of him? (they stop walking) Mai: I don't have any opinion about him. I hardly know him. Zuko: You like him, don't you? (Mai sighs and walks away, as Zuko looks angrily in the direction of Ruon Jian. The camera zooms in on Ruon Jian)

And

(Cut to shot of Ruon Jian leaning over Mai. Zuko rushes toward them angrily and pushes Ruon Jian away from her. Cut to shot of Ruon Jian straightening his hair.) Ruon Jian: Whoa. What are you doing? Zuko: (close-up shot of Zuko, angry) Stop talking to my girlfriend! Ruon Jian: (Ruon Jian approaches Zuko) Relax, it's just a party. (Zuko pushes Ruon Jian hard, sending him flying across the room, breaking a giant vase.) Mai: (Mai stands up and grabs Zuko's shoulder. He turns towards her.) Zuko, what is wrong with you?! Zuko: What's wrong with me?! Mai: (angrily) Your temper's out of control. You blow up over every little thing. You're so impatient and hot-headed and angry. Zuko: Well, at least I feel something...as opposed to you. You have no passion for anything. (raising his arms is the air) You're just a big "blah". Mai: (turning away from him) It's over, Zuko. We're done.

 And:

(Zuko follows her and the camera pans down to the handprint, left alone on the porch. Cut to wide view of the camera panning down Ember Island Beach. Zuko and Azula are walking side by side toward Mai and Ty Lee. Close shot of Zuko looking toward Mai and then looking away. Close shot of Mai looking angry and a bit sad.) Mai: Hey... (Interrupted) Zuko: (close shot of Zuko) Where's your new boyfriend? (Mai turns away angrily. Zuko comes and sits next to her) Are you cold? (he puts his arm around her, but she slaps it away)

Zuko is acting in a massively controlling fashion toward Mai, motivated by his violent and rage-filled jealously.  She literally can’t talk to a boy without Zuko flying into a jealous rage, trying to separate her from the person she’s talking to, and accusing her of emotional infidelity. In real life, this is considered a warning sign for an abusive relationship(although I don’t think Zuko has crossed the line into abusive yet).

“The Beach” also gives us this:

Mai: Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you. (Cut to over-head shot of the four teens. Zuko walks closer to the fire and Mai.) Zuko: I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once, (Close shot of Mai looking away and Zuko standing over her) instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside. She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

Zuko tries to provoke Mai into having a fight with her best friend Ty Lee just so he can watch her express strong emotions.  Zuko very much wants to Mai to be and act like someone she’s not, which has its own issues.

Overall, Zuko treats Mai quite poorly in “The Beach.” The episode ends with this:

Mai: I know one thing I care about... (Cut to shot of Mai smiling at Zuko) I care about you. (Mai and Zuko kiss. Azula claps, causing them to separate and turn toward Azula. The camera pans left to include her.)

Mai forgives Zuko and accepts him back without him acknowledging his behavior was wrong, apologizing for it, or giving her any guarantee that he will treat her better in the future. That’s unfortunate, as Zuko soon ends up treating her far, far worse than he ever did in this episode.

Zuko’s disregard for Mai cumulates with the manner he commits treason on the Day of Black Sun. Let us start our understanding of what he did wrong from the beginning. Breaking up with Mai via a letter which didn’t give her a real explanation was a real asshole move, but it’s not at the core of what he did wrong.  For that, we need to turn to this conversation from “The Headband”:

Zuko: Can't you see we're busy? (He and Mai resume their "business".) Azula: (not to be put off) Oh, Mai... Ty Lee needs your help untangling her braid. Mai: (complaisantly) Sounds pretty serious. (She gets up and leaves. Walking past Azula, towards the camera, she shoots the princess a quick, poisonous glance behind her back.) Azula: So...I hear you've been to visit your Uncle Fatso in the prison tower. Zuko: (standing, incensed) That guard told you. Azula: (smugly) No, you did. Just now. Zuko: (sitting back down) Okay, you caught me. What is it that you want, Azula? Azula: (solicitiously) Actually, nothing. Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you. If people find out you've been to see Uncle, they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful, dum-dum.

Zuko has proven his loyalty to the Fire Nation beyond doubt, yet Azula is still very worried that him spending time with Iroh will get him accused of treason, because having a close association with traitors puts oneself under almost automatic suspicion of treason.

“Day of Black Sun, Part II”:

Zuko: First of all, in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar, not me. Fire Lord Ozai: Why would she lie to me about that? Zuko: Because the Avatar is not dead. He survived. Fire Lord Ozai: (alarmed) What?!

Zuko deliberately throws Azula under the bus, hurting her and reducing her status with Ozai as much possible while effectively accusing her of deliberately committing treason. He also deliberately pisses off Ozai as much as possible.

So where does this leave us? Mai is Zuko’s known girlfriend and extremely close associate. Automatically, the suspicion of knowing of Zuko’s treason ahead of time or being involved falls upon her. She’s in grave risk of being imprisoned, tortured, or executed, especially since Ozai seems not the type to be strictly concerned with ensuring those he punishes are guilty beyond reasonable doubt. The Fire Nation seems like a society which might have collective punishment(as historical East Asian societies, Nazi Germany, and the Stalinist Soviet Union did), and Mai might be under risk from that direction.  Finally, Ozai might hurt her simply as way of retaliating against Zuko.

Normally Azula would almost certainly be able to protect her friend, even under these trying circumstances, given Azula’s prestige and accomplishments.  However, Zuko has deliberately undermined Azula as much as possible and effectively accused her of committing treason herself, dramatically reducing the probability that she will be able to protect Mai.  In fact, Mai stands risk of being accused of being involved in Azula’s effort to “conceal the fact that the Avatar survived,” given Mai’s close association with Azula and her close involvement in the events where the Avatar “died.” She’s thus under danger from two different directions.

“But Zuko had to betray his father and become good through aiding Team Avatar.” Yes, it’s a good thing he did so. But Zuko had other options than the course he adopted. He could have avoided confronting Ozai at all and instead focused on rescuing Iroh(interesting AU idea right here).  He could have confronted Ozai but not thrown Azula under the bus, and that alone would have vastly reduced the risk to Mai(and also made Zuko out to be a better person, because deliberately throwing your younger sister under the bus and then abandoning her to the mercy of your abusive father is not a good look).  Zuko could have killed Ozai right then and there during the eclipse.  He even could have tried to lead Team Avatar to the bunker and tried to end the war right then and there.

“Zuko didn’t understand that he was placing Mai in danger.” Quite possible, but Zuko being so self-centered that he is unable of understanding that his actions can have negative effects on other people is a mark against him, not for him.

Now we turn to the Zuko’s behavior toward Mai in the rest of the third season.  Let us start with “The Boiling Rock, Part 1”:

Sokka: (emphatically) I think your Uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us, that's hard. Zuko: It wasn't that hard. Sokka: (Cut to a side view of the basket) Really? You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about? Zuko: Well I did have a girlfriend. Mai. Sokka: (He goes closer to Zuko with a surprised look on his face) That gloomy girl who sighs a lot? Zuko: (Cut back to show Zuko grinning goofily) Yeah. (his face turns serious) Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it. Sokka: (Cut back to Sokka who leans back on the basket) My first girlfriend turned into the Moon. Zuko: (looks up) That's rough buddy

There are two things to unpack here. First, Zuko claims he “couldn’t drag her into it,” yet he already did, as I’ve illustrated above. Second, Zuko seems to expect that Mai would have followed him into treason if he asked her, that she would be willing to betray her nation, ideology, family, and friends just for the sake of her love for him. That’s an insane and pretty toxic expectation for Zuko to have for her relationship with him, especially since he wouldn’t do the same for her.

We also get more confirmation that Zuko doesn’t care at all about Ty Lee or Azula.

I don’t have a lot to say about the Zuko-Mai conversation during Boiling Rock, Part 2. The only things I would like to note are that Zuko is not very sorry for what he did, not very empathetic toward Mai’s pain, and doesn’t give Mai a real apology for his actions.

Of course, Mai proceeds to save Zuko’s life through committing treason in front of dozens of witnesses at Boiling Rock, something which places her own life in serous jeopardy. How does Zuko react to this?

Zuko: (Cut to a shocked Zuko) It's Mai. Azula: (Cut to a furious Azula) What is she doing?! (Cut to the backs of Azula and Ty Lee as Ty Lee shrugs and makes a "I don't know" noise. Cut to the gondola as it reaches the outer part of the crater. Cut to the inside of the entrance tower as the door opens and Suki rushes out followed by Sokka, Zuko, Hakoda and Chit Sang. Hakoda turns towards Chit Sang and points to the inside of the gondola. Chit Sang proceeds to throw the warden back in.) Hakoda: (Cut to the back of Hakoda's head looking at the warden lying on the floor) Sorry Warden, your record is officially broken. (Hakoda walks off screen while the warden continues to struggle on the floor. Cut to a front shot of the group as they run up a rocky incline.) Suki: Well, we made it out. Now what? Sokka: (Sokka stops and looks back at Zuko who pauses in his tracks, thinking) Zuko, what are you doing? Zuko: My sister was on that island. Sokka: Yeah and she's probably right behind us. So let's not stop. Zuko: What I mean is she must have come here somehow. (He runs to the edge of the rocks and looks down) There. (Cut to an area looking up at the edge of the cliff) That's our way out of here. (Camera pans down to reveal a Fire Nation zeppelin docked at the shore.

Zuko says Mai’s name once and then abandons her (to die?) with zero hesitation.  This is probably objectively the correct decision. It would probably be extremely difficult and dangerous if not outright impossible to save Mai.  The prison-break crew do have access to an airship, but it’s difficult to fly an airship over the lake’s thermals.

Yet that’s not my point. Zuko abandons Mai with zero hesitation, with zero anguish, with zero angst. He doesn’t even to seem consider the possibility that he should save her.  Something tells me if Iroh had just saved Zuko’s life under identical circumstances and then was in imminent risk of harm, Zuko would act very differently, that Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda would have to drag him off that island.

Zuko’s complete disregard for Mai continues for the rest the series. Remember this exchange from “The Cave of Two Lovers”?

Zuko: (losing his patience) We're not taking any more chances with these plants! We need to get help. Iroh: But where are we going to go? We're enemies of the Earth Kingdom, and fugitives from the Fire Nation. Zuko: (musingly) If the Earth Kingdom, discovers us, they'll have us killed. Iroh: But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula.

Zuko considers being captured by Azula a worse fate than death!

But do we see Zuko worry once about Mai’s fate? Do we see angst about what might have happened to her? Do we see him make any effort to even discover her fate, much less rescue her?

No. In fact, Zuko launches a sophisticated operation to infiltrate a Fire Nation information center so that he can gain intelligence in order to help Katara murder someone so that she’ll like him, but he doesn’t even consider doing the same to find out about Mai’s fate so that he could potentially rescue her. Zuko doesn’t even mention Mai once after Boiling Rock until the very end of the series finale, even though she sacrificed herself to save him. Remember this exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 3”):

Zuko: Sorry, but you're not going to become Fire Lord today. (jumps off Appa) I am. Azula: (laughs) You're hilarious. Katara: (standing beside Zuko) And you're going down. (The fire sage motions to crown Azula, but she raises her hand, signalling him to stop.) Azula: Wait. You want to be Fire Lord Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai! Zuko: You're on. (Katara turns to Zuko, surprised. Cut to a close up of Azula's lips as the curls into a smile. Cut back to Katara and Zuko.) Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both so she is trying to separate us. Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time. Katara: But even you admitted to your Uncle that you would need help facing Azula. Zuko: There's something off about her, I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt. (Fade to a shot of the courtyard from the side. The camera pans from Zuko kneeling on the right end to Azula kneeling on the left end. Cut to a shot of Zuko rising and turning around, then cut to a shot of Azula rising. Each can be seen behind the other. Cut to a shot of Azula from the front turning and removing the Fire Lord robes.) Azula: I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother. Zuko: (in his stance) No, you're not.

Notice something? Zuko doesn’t demand to know what happened to Mai! It’s almost like he forgot she existed!

Now we turn to the final infamous exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 4”):

Mai:(off screen) You need some help with that? (He looks up surprised and moves aside to reveal Mai leaning against the doorway. Cut to a close up of Mai as she walks towards Zuko.) Zuko: (Cut to a delighted Zuko) Mai! (Walks off screen) You're ok. (Cut to an area behind Mai's back as Zuko opens his arms out in a hug) They let you out of prison? (Mai walks behind Zuko and lifts up his empty robe sleeve.) Mai: My uncle (Zuko puts his arms through the sleeve) pulled some strings, (she proceeds to fasten his robe) and it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend. (She walks in front of Zuko and places a hand on his chest) Zuko: So does this mean you don't hate me anymore? Mai: (she blushes) I think it means... (Cut to a close up of the couple) I actually (places a hand on Zuko's cheek) kind of like you. (They lean in for a kiss and part a fewseconds later, looking into each other's eyes happily) But don't ever (She jabs a finger into Zuko's shoulder and Zuko's eye traces the movement of her finger) break up (She lifts her finger into the air and Zuko's eyes still follows it) with me again. (She jabs her finger into Zuko's shoulder one last time and Zuko smiles goofily. They embrace and the camera zooms out slowly.

Zuko seems surprised to learn that Mai is OK, almost like he made no effort to find out her fate once he took charge of the Fire Nation. And indeed, his first acts as leader of the Fire Nation were not to find out what happened to her or, if he actually knew, to get her released from prison.  Mai only got released from prison when her uncle and his connections got sufficiently confident that Zuko had been completely accepted as the new leader to release a massive traitor completely on their own initiative.  This was quite possibly weeks after Azula-Zuko Agni Kai, yet he made no apparent effort to get her released. It’s almost like Zuko completely forgot about Mai, even though she sacrificed herself to save him.

And, of course, Zuko doesn’t accept responsibility for any of the awful ways he treated Mai, much less apologize to her or offer any guarantee he will behave better in the future. Mai still forgives him anyways, just like she did in “The Beach,” only for Zuko to continue to screw her over. There is something deeply depressing here, as there’s every reason to believe that Zuko will screw over Mai over, devalue her, and disregard her well-being, desires, and interests again the moment it’s convenient for him to do so. He certainly has not recognized that his toxic behavior here is something he needs to stop doing. Ironically, the comics get this right by having Zuko try to use his power as Firelord to order Mai to stay his girlfriend.

Ultimately, Zuko loves Mai and cares about her deeply, yet he still treats her as a tool and acts like she exists to serve him. It reminds me how show! canon Ozai genuinely loved show! canon Ursa, but still used her as a tool and threw her away.  Honestly, I doubt 16-year-old Zuko is really ready for any romantic relationship at all, given his often toxic behavior, his trauma, and the incredibly stressful position he’s placed in at the end of the series.

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Hansol Vernon Chwe

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Vernon is a big fan of affection, he’s big on cuddles and loves to hold your hand at any opportunity that he can. Affection is a good distraction for him when he wants to focus on something else, often focusing on your hands instead.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

You’d met by sheer coincidence when you accidentally walked into the wrong room on your first day at Pledis. Luckily, Vernon was on hand to lead you back into the right direction, but not before he’d also slipped his number into your pocket, just in case you ended up getting lost again and needed him to help you out.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

Confessing to you left Vernon terrified for quite some time, for a while you’d sensed that something had been off with him whenever the two of you met up. You tried to push it to one side, but eventually, on one evening together, you just had to ask him what was going on. The plan that he did have to confess was thrown out of the window as he told you there and then what had been really going on in his mind.

D ⇴ DATES 

Your dates are often spent watching movies, either at the dorm or the theatre. You know all too well how much Vernon loves franchises, and with that, the two of you have a lot of movie marathons. You’ll be bundled underneath your duvets all day with plenty of snacks in between you both whilst you watch whatever Vernon has usually chosen. Even if he’s watched the movies a thousand times before, he’ll never say no to watching it again, especially now he’s got you for company to join him too.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

The whole dating experience made Vernon very nervous, he was worried about putting his foot wrong or making a mistake. It took him a while to really feel comfortable around you and trust in himself too to do the right thing. He put a lot of thought into even the smallest things that he did, and even though there were times when he was easy going, he never wanted that to be mistaken as not caring. If anything, Vernon cared too much about making sure that his first relationship was as perfect as he hoped.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

Arguments between the two of you weren’t very common, these were the times when Vernon’s easy-going personality really came to the forefront. If you had a grumble or complaint, he’d listen and work on it, still with a smile on his face. It takes a tremendous lot for you to push his buttons to a point where he wants to argue with you. There are times when he feels like he has to bite his tongue, but he acknowledges that arguing is natural between couples, and that he’s far from perfect. Once you’ve told him what the problem is, he’ll never fail to fix it right away so the two of you can move on.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You were welcomed very quickly into his family, especially by his sister. She loved having another girl around who could wind Vernon up which certainly helped with integrating you into the family. As happy as Vernon was to see the two of you getting along, he was still bitter that the two of you constantly teased him.

H ⇴ HOME 

The two of you spent a lot of time in his room at the dorm, enjoying your own space. Vernon wasn’t huge on finding a place of your own just yet, but as soon as you’d begin to weigh up a few options about what you could do in the future, he’d definitely be open to starting to do a bit of house hunting with you.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

You were the first to say, ‘I love you,’ when Vernon returned from his first tour. You never imagined that home could become such a quite place, but not having him around really took you by surprise. As soon as you saw him, you just couldn’t help but blurt those three little words out before Vernon even had the chance to say, ‘I’m home!’

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Being jealous wasn’t something that Vernon tended to experience, he trusted a lot in people, and most of all, in you. The biggest sign you’d normally get when something wasn’t quite right, would be his smile dropping. He would never say anything to anyone, but as soon as the two of you are alone and you ask him what’s going on, he’ll tell you, and you, only. It’s not something he likes in himself, and he tries hard to brush any situations that make him jealous aside like they’re nothing. But he’s human, and he knows there are times when jealousy can’t be helped.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Starting a family was something Vernon often thought about when he was with you. Whenever the two of you began to talk about the future, his mind would naturally wonder to begin to think about children. It was a topic that he was very nervous to bring up around you, because if you started talking about children, Vernon wouldn’t be able to stop, he’d surprise you often by how well planned out his future was.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

If there’s one person around you who can be guaranteed to always be wearing a smile, it’s Vernon. If you ever see him without a smile, then you know something’s wrong. He knows he’s cute too, and aegyo is definitely a good friend of his when he wants to try and put a smile on your face. He loves to joke around and make the most out of his time with you, and best of all, he loves ticklish. If Vernon is ever not smiling, your hands will be attacking his waist in an instant as you know it’s the best solution. He’ll try and fight you off, but he’ll be too lost in his laughter to even try and be able to put up just a bit of a fight.

M ⇴ MISSING 

Being on the road is hard for him, whilst he’ll wear a smile around every single member of the crew and the team, his eyes will often tell a different story. There’ll be plenty of moments where he’ll end up drifting out of conversation because he finds himself thinking about you, and not paying attention to what he’s being told. Whilst the boys will never make him feel bad about missing you, they’ll often encourage him to go and ring you if he needs it. They know that he wants to protect the group when he misses you, but as with so many other things, he’s human, and he can’t keep up the smile forever, even if he wants too.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

You’ll often shorten his name to ‘vern,’ when you want him, if he ever hears you call him ‘Vernon,’ then he’ll be pretty certain that he’s done something wrong. His full name is usually only ever used when you’re angry at him.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He’s obsessed with your hands, his favourite time is when they’re drawing patterns around his body which he can focus on, to forget about the outside world.

P ⇴ PDA 

Affection in public isn’t something that Vernon does often, he’ll often get incredibly shy, even if he’s just holding your hand. He’ll often find himself being put in articles with blushed cheeks because a pap has photographed a photo of the two of you, he just can’t help but getting incredibly flushed when he’s around you.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

He can be quite a deep thinker at times, so he’ll often ask you questions to get yourselves into pretty deep discussions. The topics are often very random, but Vernon loves unfolding them and exploring so much about them too.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Having family split between South Korea and America is hard for him, he barely ever has the time to visit them. Whenever he gets a break in his schedule, the two of you end up playing a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide which members of his family you’ll visit that time. He can never choose between the two sides, so he much prefers to leave it to fate to see where the two of you end up travelling to.

S ⇴ SEX 

He’ll often get very shy during intimacy, the close proximity between the two of you will make his heart flutter uncontrollably. Vernon will love when he can feel your hands around his body, they’re always very warm and comforting to him. It’s often a very romantic time, Vernon puts a lot of thought into things, he’s not one for a quick fix, he likes to take his time and make sure that it’s always special for you.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

Throughout the day you’ll often receive texts from Vernon just to see how you are. His mind will often wonder to you whenever he has a moment free, and so naturally, he’ll text you too to let you know you’re in his thoughts.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Even though everyone knows him as the cute member of the group, even the rest of the members have never seen Vernon as shy as he is when he’s around you. He just can’t help but get nervous whenever he’s around you.

V ⇴ VACATION 

If there’s ever free time, then it will be spent visiting family. When the two of you aren’t visiting either side of his family, you’ll be visiting your own. Vernon makes sure to make time for your family too whenever he has free time, he wants you to see your loves ones just as much as he wants to go and see his own.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Vernon isn’t someone that will whine, if he wants your attention then he’ll usually just go very quiet and not be able to meet your eye.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Just like his hugs, his kisses are very frequent too. Whenever he looks away from you because he’s getting shy, you’ll be right beside him, kissing against his red cheeks until he looks at you again. If he refuses, you’ll throw in a few tickles too until he’s kissing you back. Kisses from you are definitely a weakness for Vernon, no matter how shy, mad, unhappy, or moody he is, just a couple of kisses from you will do the trick and brighten the mood.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his weakness; he was completely infatuated with you.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

Together you’d always fall asleep close together, he’d often be the big spoon as he liked to hold you against his chest and be the one to keep you safe. For you, falling asleep over his heart is always a comfort too.

---

Masterlist

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.

[britishassistant]

Crowley kid! Yuu gets kidnapped by one of the villain dorms and Crowley is touring the the lair and just come across his kid, just chilling their designated chair snacking and roasting the villains, maybe joking around with the minions a bit and then they see each other and it’s like that Spider-Man pointing meme

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

This kiiinda got away from me a bit, but I thought it would be good since this blog has now reached over 200 followers! Whoo! Thank you all for your support!!

Crowley was just popping by to see how Leviathan’s operation was running.

He liked to do this kind of thing, show up when the supervillains competing for his attention least expected (or appreciated) it and demand they show him how their operations were running. The reactions and sights he got to see where always so much more honest than what a prearranged visit could offer him.

Take Leviathan-kun, for instance.

The young man is uncommonly nervous in Crowley’s presence, not quite stuttering, but clearly not far off from it either. He keeps adjusting his glasses minutely, making the light flash off them even as he rattles out his salesman’s spiel of guarantees and flattery.

The thieving corvid inside Crowley preens. Today was an excellent day for a surprise inspection.

There’s clearly something going on right now that Leviathan was desperate to hide from him, which just makes Crowley want to dig deep and uncover whatever this dirty little secret is and drag that wriggling, struggling weakness into the light.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

It doesn’t take long for him to ferret it out—as desperate as Leviathan is to redirect his attention the loyal minions moving like schools of fish through the lower levels of the lair, he doesn’t have the authority to do anything but totter after Crowley as he strides towards the control room of this fine establishment, his cane clicking against the ground with every step.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

There’s the raised voices of Leviathan’s lieutenants emanating from within, along with...someone else?

Crowley pauses, taking in the scene inside.

There is a person is tied to a chair in the center of the room with one of the Leeches hanging sideways off of their lap, arms wrapped around their shoulders as he leans backwards and swings his legs back and forth. The chair is beginning to teeter dangerously.

“Floyd, if you make us fall again, I’m suing you for damages.” A familiar voice quips.

Crowley’s insides go cold.

“Aha! So mean~ I’d never let you get hurt, Shrimpy~” The reckless and violent twin coos, nuzzling close.

“You already did.” The most kidnapped reporter in this city deadpans. “Twice.”

“Bold of you to assume that you’d be able to press charges in the first place, Yuu-san.” The sadistic and coldblooded twin grins.

“Azul likes me better than you two, he’ll represent me if I sell him my kidneys.” Yuu says loftily. “Plus I have witnesses, like that guy...there...”

Well, that’s ruined his dramatic entrance, but Crowley slams open the doors anyway, making his cloak billow and letting those leeches see the angry flash of his eyes.

“A-hem!” He booms. “What exactly do you think you’re doing? Is this how you think professional villains behave?!”

The sadistic twin stands to attention, bowing shallowly to him, as though that will keep Crowley from noticing how he’s moved in front of the hostage and his violent brother, who’s curled over Yuu with his feet planted firmly on the ground and is cocky enough to think baring his teeth at Crowley is somehow a good idea.

“Floyd.” Leviathan’s voice is clipped, moving towards his henchman and the captive. “My deepest apologies on behalf of my staff, sir. I’ll instruct them to take the prisoner back down to the holding cells to continue the inter—”

“No, you will not.” Crowley commands, swirling towards the aquatic supervillain. “You will release them from your custody immediately, and as I am so gracious, I will be sure to educate all of you about how violating personal boundaries—”

“Oh, come off it, you old crow.” Yuu drawls, one eyebrow twitching. “Don’t start pretending like you care now.”

The sadistic brother makes a small, choked noise. Leviathan has gone so still it’s doubtful he’s even breathing. Even the violent twin is staring at the reporter like they’ve grown a second head.

He clears his throat to hide the small sting in his chest at the remark. “W-why I don’t know whatever you are talking about, stranger I have never met before. I will arrange for an escort to guide you home, as I am so gracious.”

The reporter scoffs. “Well, isn’t that just the story of my life. I told you last time, I don’t want any of your goons within ten blocks of my apartment, remember?”

“Yuu, while I always appreciate your sparkling wit, please stop talking.” Leviathan mutters, eyes focused on Crowley. “Are you aware of just who this person is?”

“Who he is? Of course I know who he is.” Yuu’s exasperation is evident in their voice. “He’s my bio dad.”

Crowley bristles, feeling his feathers puff up in alarm. “Hatchling!!”

Leviathan chokes, wheezing for air as he gasps out, “Bio—what—?”

The sadistic Leech brother is visibly startled, whipping his head back and forth between Crowley and Yuu, lips moving too fast to read though no sound comes out.

“Eeeh~? The big scary boss man is Shrimpy’s dad? No waay~” The violent Leech brother jabs a thumb in his direction. “Who would fuck him?”

“HOW DARE YOU—!”

“Nobody.” Yuu says. “I was born via in vitro fertilization.”

“Hatchling~!” Crowley whines, disliking how wrong-footed his child leaves him. “That is hardly kind!”

Yuu lets out an undignified snort. “Sure, because that compares to dumping me back on Uncle Divvy after a week out of the test tube with instructions to leave me under a bridge somewhere.”

Both Leech twins pin him with equally unnerving stares, and Crowley has to remind himself that he is three times the villain they’ll ever be, that they couldn’t actually hurt him even if they did both attack at once.

Leviathan is just leaning against his desk, mouthing “Uncle Divvy” to himself with the sort of frquency usually reserved for those afflicted by Divus’ hysteria gas.

“We talked about that!” Crowley pleads desperately. “It was to make sure that you could grow strong through adversity! I could hardly expect you to take up my position if you grew up soft and dependent, now could I?”

“Babies are soft and dependent, that’s the whole point. I’d have been dead within the week if Uncle Divvy hadn’t given me to Mom and Dad.” Yuu sighs, slumping back into the chair. “Whatever. I’m never taking over from you and I don’t want any of your money. Can I go home now?”

“I’ll arrange for a car as I am so gracious—” Crowley states firmly at the same time as Leviathan interjects with “Ah, let me take you—”

He shoots a poisonous glare at the young upstart, and then at the unprofessional lackey who’s still clinging to his child.

“No thanks, to both of you.” Yuu sighs. “I’ll just call Yuuken to pick me up—”

“Eeeh?! But Shrimpy, he’s so lame and boring!” The twin in Yuu’s lap whines. “I can’t even squeeze him properly!”

“Yeah, that’s not really a negative here.” The reporter quips, putting up with the way the merman whines and nuzzles into their shoulder, teeth dangerously close to their jugular.

“I don’t like him.” Crowley sniffs. “He’s too good an influence on you.”

“Well, guess whose business that is?!” His offspring asks cheerily, before dropping back into their irritated moue. “Not yours. I’ll spend time with whoever I please, you can go suck an e—”

“I’ve called you a cab, Yuu-san.” The sadistic Leech brother pipes up, pulling his phone away from his ear. “It’s already paid for, so please don’t worry about it.”

The reporter frowns again, before shaking their head with a tired sigh. “Thank you. I need to go sleep off a migraine, so untie me and I’ll see you three next week or something.”

Leviathan moves forward to tug swiftly at the ropes pinning their arms behind their back and pulling his henchmen off of them, finally. “Let me escort you out at least. It wouldn’t do to have any more unpleasant surprises before you got home.”

“Fine.” Yuu pins Crowley with that look that always makes him want to squirm. “Have a lovely day, Dire Crowley-san.”

“Likewise.” He watches his heir walk out as the violent Leech twin calls out “Bye bye, Shrimpy~!”

He turns to those two upstarts, drawing himself up to his full height. “I am certain I don’t need to impress upon you the fact that none of what went on in here leaves this room, yes?”

The sadistic one meets his eye for a moment, spreading his hands wide with an unpleasant smile. “I am unsure of what you mean, Crowley-sama.”

“Yeah, dunno~” The violent one chirps from where he’s now perched in the recently vacated chair.

“Well, suffice it to say that Divus came up with a very interesting potion to affect merfolk, some years ago.” Crowley allows himself a cruel smirk. “One that gives them legs permanently. Shame it doesn’t do the same for lungs. I will not tell him how...carelessly you boys have been treating one of his most prized experiments, as I am gracious, am I not?”

He watches the pair of them swallow reflexively with a thrill of dark satisfaction. “Yes, Crowley-sama.” They chorus.

“Wonderful!” Crowley chirps, clasping his hands together. “Now, I think it’s time for a special lesson on respecting the personal boundaries of one’s hostages, don’t you?”

[guardianofrivendell]

The Odd Ones Out

Kíli x OC (platonic)

Summary: Tullaina and Kíli were best friends from day one. Getting into a fight to the death together tends to do that to you. Of course, it wasn’t actually to the death, but Kíli kept insisting it had been a close call. This is the story of how their friendship started.

Warnings: bullying, young Kíli (Tullaina and Kíli are 34 and 33 in this one, which is the dwarven equivalent of a young teenager)

OC: Tullaina, you can read her character sheet here

A/N: My first oneshot with Tullaina! A big, massive thank you to @lathalea who helped me find the motivation to finish this and gave me the nudges and the kick to my butt that I needed to keep going! I love you!  Also a thank you (and maybe an apology too) to @anjhope1 and @laurfilijames because they had to hear me nag and complain about this story over and over again :)

Kidizbuhâ. Friendship.

What exactly is friendship? What defines it? It’s something Tullaina always wondered about.

According to one of master Balin’s many books, it can be described as a state between two or more individuals, a mutual affection that is strictly platonic. 

Your best friend is even more than that. They are that one special person who sticks with you no matter what. You talk about anything and everything, have fun together, comfort each other, and you accept one another with all their flaws. It’s almost like finding your One, but without the romantic love. 

Tullaina had often dreamed of finding that one true friend...

Born and raised in the mountains of Ered Luin, she had a pretty normal childhood as a pebble.  With only a few friends and a loving family, she was as happy as a young girl could be. 

When she grew older, her friends’ appearance started to change. 

They grew wider, more muscular and their facial hair started to grow out. Each of them turned into perfect examples of how a sturdy dwarf or dwarrowdam should look like. 

Tullaina however stayed exactly the same. She grew in height, but kept her lanky figure. She filled out the appropriate places, but not as much as her friends or peers. Her freckles became more pronounced and the increase of birthmarks started to raise questions among those so-called ‘friends’. And on top of that, as if she couldn’t be ridiculed enough already, she lacked the pride of every Dwarf… facial hair. A fine layer of down hairs where her sideburns should be was all she could grow, and it was barely even visible.  

There was no denying that she looked different than your average Dwarrowdam at that age. 

And that’s when the teasing and bullying began. 

One by one, she lost her friends, none of them wanted to be associated with the ‘elf child’ or khathzith, as they started calling her. 

Everywhere she went, she could hear the dreaded word, whispered among the people of the Blue Mountains. And after a while, Tullaina started to believe them. Maybe she wasn’t a Dwarf after all?

No matter how many times her parents had tried to convince her she was of full Dwarven descent, a proud Longbeard, she never stopped asking whether what they said about her was true. 

Maybe she was a late bloomer, like her mother sometimes said in an attempt to comfort her. When Tullaina’s tears had dried up, she usually told her daughter the story about her late auntie Marthosia whose beard only started to grow after she turned 30, and it turned out to be the most glorious beard of them all. The Dwarrows stood in line to ask for her courtship.  And every time Tullaina would simply roll her eyes and thank her mother. 

By the time she turned 30, there was still no trace of a beard or proper sideburns. Not that Tullaina had expected anything, but she couldn’t deny that there was a tiny sliver of hope left that maybe, maybe she was like auntie Marthosia after all. 

Her mother eventually stopped telling the story and Tullaina had given up all hope. She started to isolate herself more, hardly leaving the safety of her home, losing herself in books and her own imagination.  

The only time she would leave the house by herself was to visit the mines and bring her father his lunch when he forgot to bring it with him. Which happened a lot more than you would think.  Tullaina suspected her father did this on purpose to get her out of the house more often, but she never said anything about it. 

It was on one of those trips that she ran into Kíli for the first time...

*

Tullaina hurried through the small, slippery streets of the mountain city, her shawl wrapped securely around her head and neck, head down and eyes fixed on the ground. 

She was on her way back from the mines having delivered her father’s lunch, but she’d dawdled when the baker’s cat had crossed her path. It wasn’t her fault she absolutely had to pet it, right? 

So now she was in a hurry to get home. And she would have been there in a matter of minutes, if her ears hadn’t picked up the teasing laughter coming out of one of the dead-end side alleys.

On any other day she would have tucked her scarf a little tighter around her, bowed her head a little deeper to avoid any unwanted attention, and definitely walk a little faster. 

But it turned out today wasn’t like any other day…

There could be many reasons as to why she felt the need to investigate further. Some would call it being adventurous, fate, maybe even Mahal’s will if you want. But for Tullaina it was her sense of injustice that drove her to the alley. 

There was something familiar about the laughter that made her suspect this wasn’t just some friends having fun. She tiptoed towards the corner of the building and peeked around the corner.

Her curiosity often got the better of her and her mother used to warn (okay fine, she guaranteed it) that it would get her into serious trouble one day. Who knows, maybe her mother was right after all...

At the end of the dead-end alley she could see three dwarves, at first sight probably not much older than she was. It was almost comical how they were all so different but clearly looking like they were up to no good: you had the short one with flaming red hair, the muscles and then one who was fairly normal at first until he grinned and Tullaina could see he was missing a front tooth. These three dwarves practically screamed trouble. 

They were all looking at a boy who was standing in the middle of the trio. 

The boy had shoulder length brown hair with no braids. He was taller than the others and had a slender build. He was wearing a simple dark blue tunic and black trousers, and his unruly hair framed a kind face with large brown eyes. No beard.  

And that’s precisely what they were bullying him about...

Tullaina could hear the insults they were throwing at him, she flinched because she knew them all too well - having heard them many times before - and something in her snapped. Before she realised what she was doing, she called out to them.

“Oi!” 

All four heads turned towards her. 

Well, that’s what you get for calling out to them, she thought. Now what? Quick, say something so they’ll know you mean business! 

“Leave him alone!”

Oh wow, she thought, almost rolling her eyes at herself. Great choice, that’ll make them tremble with fear! 

The boys started snickering, excited about the prospect of another victim. One of them grabbed the beardless one by the shoulder and pushed him forward. 

The Muscles came up towards Tullaina and it took all her restraint not to take a step back. 

“Aww Kíli, look at that, your girl is here to save you!”

“I said, leave him alone,” she repeated, trying to look confident by straightening her back and balling her fists at her side, but her voice gave her away. It earned her a chuckle from the dwarf in front of her.

“No, this can’t be his girl,” he sneered, removing her scarf, “Look at her face, not a hair in sight! It’s the same babyface as our dear Kíli. Who would’ve thought there were more of you khathzith?” (young Elves)

Oh, he should not have said that! 

The familiar insult triggered something in her and her hands moved on instinct. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed with all the strength she had.

It took him by surprise, he didn’t have the time to brace himself and he fell on his back in the dirt with a grunt. Mistake number one.

One of his companions, the one with the flaming red hair lunged forward and pushed her in turn. Tullaina didn’t stand a chance with the force he was using against her lanky figure and immediately fell to the ground. She cried out when her arm scraped against a small rock. Mistake number two. 

They started laughing at her, until the one who was holding Kíli cried out in pain.

When Tullaina looked up she saw him clutching his nose with both of his hands, tears springing in his eyes. 

Before she could figure out what had happened, Kíli threw himself on the redhead with a loud cry of “Du Bekâr!” and something about not laying your hands on a lady. Or... that he shouldn’t have handed him a baby? 

It wasn’t her fault that it was difficult to understand him with all the shouting and the curses being thrown around. If her mother was near she would’ve covered her ears. Luckily for Tullaina she wasn’t, at least now she could learn a thing or two for future use!

But this actually was the moment she should have decided it was time to go. Mistake number three.

They were all distracted and not paying attention to her whatsoever, the short one was still busy crying over his nose, the redhead was wrestling with Kíli and Muscles just stood by and watched it all happen for some reason. Really, what was stopping her from running? Her more reasonable side was yelling at her to go home. Let the boys fight it out themselves! 

But she couldn’t leave this Kíli to himself now, could she? After he so valiantly defended her? No one ever stood up for her before, and here he was literally fighting for her honor. 

No, she couldn’t leave him…

When Muscles finally noticed Tullaina was still there, he came towards her with a loud roar - or what should’ve been a roar, it was more a gargle really - and the decision was made for her. She was going to fight. 

Well… It seemed her mother was right after all. Her curiosity got her into trouble. 

*

One of the last things Dís had expected to see when she opened her door was a pair of young Dwarves, battered and bruised. Well… half of the duo was her youngest son, so their disheveled state shouldn’t come as a big surprise.  

“Amad, this is Tullaina,” Kíli introduced his new friend with a wide smile, wiping a drop of blood off his chin with the back of his hand like it was the most natural thing to do. His left eye was a little swollen and starting to bruise. And still he was as chipper as ever.

Tullaina waved timidly, getting a bit uncomfortable. She had recognized the dwarrowdam as soon as she opened the door and suddenly it had clicked in her head who Kíli was. She knew how this might look and the last thing she wanted was to get in more trouble. Typical of her to befriend a prince of all people…  

“Nice to meet you, Tullaina.” Dís smiled kindly to let her know she wasn’t angry. It seemed to relax Tullaina a little, her shoulders slacked and she returned her smile.  

After the introduction Dís switched into full mother hen mode and ushered the two inside, so she could take care of their injuries and hopefully get some answers to the many questions that flooded her mind. For one, who Tullaina was. As far as she knew, she hadn’t seen the girl before. And Dis took pride in knowing everyone in Ered Luin. 

But getting the information out of these two turned out to be a lot harder than Dís had initially thought. 

She told them to sit down at the dinner table while she got everything she needed to clean their wounds. 

At first sight it was only Kíli’s busted lip that needed attention, their bruises would heal on their own. 

When the only daughter of Thraín asked her youngest how he and his new friend got their bruises and Kíli his busted lip, he only shrugged his shoulders. 

Kíli clearly didn’t want to talk about it. 

And that worried her, because if there was one thing Kíli liked to do, it was talking her ears off about what he had done or discovered while out with Fíli or by himself.

She guessed he probably stood up for Tullaina and had valiantly defended or even rescued her, in which case Dís wouldn’t hear the end of it. So the silence of her youngest was rather alarming, to say the least. 

In the end, it was Tullaina who reluctantly explained to her that she stumbled upon Kíli and a couple of other young Dwarves, who felt the need to mock the young prince. 

Dís’ eyes widened and her hand that was cleaning the dried blood around his mouth, froze midair. The cut on his lip had finally stopped bleeding, and it looked a lot worse than it actually was. 

“Kíli, that is still no reason to start a fight! And certainly not in the presence of a lady.”

Kíli straightened his back at the scolding of his mother, but didn’t contradict her. 

“He didn’t start the fight, Lady Dís, I did,” Tullaina answered before Kíli could stop her.

The large Dwarrowdam frowned, and she absentmindedly started stroking her beard. She was happy Kíli seemed to have made a friend who was not Fíli, but if she turned out to be a troublemaker…

Her sons definitely didn’t need help in that department.

“Now why did you do that, nadanê?” she asked her. (my child) “Amad, please just let it go,” Kíli said before Tullaina had the chance to explain.  “I wasn’t asking you, Kíli.”

Tullaina hesitated. What if lady Dís blamed her for his injuries, or getting him into the fight in the first place?

Her new friend obviously didn’t want his mother to know about the bullying and she understood that better than anyone. Tullaina herself had kept a lot from her mother, the things she had to go through, all the insults, the name calling, the laughter… 

But she also knew her new friend needed someone he could talk to. When it gets too bad, you need to vent, let everything out. And since she wasn’t sure she’d be welcome again in Lady Dís’ house after today, it might be better to tell his mother what had happened. 

“They were teasing and bullying him about stuff they used to bully me for as well,” she finally caved. 

“And what might that be?”

“Our lack of dwarven features,” Tullaina answered, as she lowered her eyes. “I’ve been bullied and made fun of for years because I don’t have a proper beard, and don’t look like most other dwarrowdams… So you see, my Lady, I couldn’t just stand there and watch. But they would not listen! So I pushed one of them and started the fight.”

“I see,” Dis hummed, before she placed her hands on Kili’s and Tullaina’s knees. “You did what you felt was right, and that is very admirable. Nadanê, never let anyone make you feel inferior. No matter what you look like, what you have or do not have. It’s what’s inside that matters. You’re both courageous, headstrong and maybe a little reckless too, but that’s alright. That sounds like a true dwarf to me.”

Tullaina smiled in return.  It wasn’t a lot different from what her own mother would say when she tried to comfort her, but somehow when Lady Dis said it, it added more weight to it. 

“Now tell me about the fight?” Dis smiled, trying to lighten the mood. 

Kíli’s head shot up and his eyes sparkled, and Dis knew that look all too well. Now she was going to hear every single detail about their little adventure. 

“So I found myself surrounded by, I don’t know, ten, maybe twelve other dwarves-”

“Three. There were three Dwarves, Kíli,” Tullaina interrupted with a straight face.

“It’s not like I was counting them!” he said to Tullaina, before he turned to his mother again. “I was too busy fighting for my life!”

“I bet you were,” Dís chuckled. 

Kíli explained how he was trying to find a way out so he could run home, but they wouldn’t let him. 

“And then Tullaina showed up and she came to help me, Amad. She gave the biggest one a shove, can you believe?! But then one of the other dwarves pushed her to the ground! You and uncle always told me I should treat all dwarrowdams with respect, right? But I don’t think his parents told him, because why would he do that? Anyway, then Tullaina hurt her arm,” Kíli paused his rambling and grabbed Tullaina’s arm to show the scratch she got when she fell, but she immediately pulled her arm free and muttered something like ‘i’m fine, it’s nothing’. Dís made a mental note to clean it later. 

“So I had to defend her honor! Fíli will be so proud of me when he hears about it, I punched that atnuzab right on the nose!” (prick)

“Then how did you get your lip cut and your eye so bruised?” his mother asked him, already knowing the answer, but playing along. It was better to let him continue his story, but it was Tullaina who cut in. 

“It turned out the atnuzab knew how to hit back,” she grinned.   

“And that’s when the fight really took off,” Kíli continued enthusiastically, a wide smile on his face. 

While Dís took care of Tullaina’s arm, he explained everything in detail, waving his arms in excitement, while the girl filled in the blanks or corrected him, which happened surprisingly often. 

Dís chuckled every time it happened. It was refreshing to see Kíli being reprimanded for not telling the truth or exaggerating by someone his own age. Who knows, maybe Tullaina will turn out to be a positive influence on her son and his vivid imagination?

“And then he ran off, crying about his bloody nose,” Kíli cackled, holding on to Tullaina’s shoulder to keep himself up since he was laughing so hard. 

“Which I believe you gave him?” Dís commented. 

“I did,” he said proudly, wiping a tear away. “A true warrior I was!”

“Or tried to at least, did you forget you tripped over your own feet? Twice?” Tullaina laughed, recalling both times she had to help him up before the bullies could get to him.  

“I was creating a diversion!”

Tullaina raised an eyebrow at that in disbelief, but decided to let it slide. 

Dís shook her head at their friendly banter and left for the kitchen, taking the bowl and the dirty rags with her.

Tullaina watched her leave and smiled to herself. Isn’t it strange how one hastily made decision had changed her entire day? It had been ages since she laughed this much, it was amazing how quickly she felt comfortable in Kíli’s company. Was this what true friendship felt like?

When she looked back at Kíli, she caught him already staring at her.

“What?” she asked with a frown. 

“Thank you,” he said. “You came to help me and I’ll never forget that.”

Tullaina felt her face flush at how sincere he was, his big brown eyes looking at her intently.  

“Don’t mention it,” she grinned, playing with her fingers in her lap.

They sat side by side in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, their hands tucked away under their thighs before Tullaina spoke up again.

“You know, I need to thank you too,” she said, bumping her shoulder against Kíli’s.

“Me? What for?”

“Defending my honor.”

Kíli gave her a broad smile and puffed out his chest. “It was the right thing to do. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.” He placed his hand on his heart to emphasize his words. 

Tullaina believed him. Kíli seemed that kind of person who would rather follow his heart than his head, someone who would act on impulse before thinking about the possible consequences.   

“Besides, friends take care of each other right?” he continued, pushing himself off the table. 

Dís returned from the kitchen with two slices of cake in her hand. 

“I believe you’ve more than deserved this,” she smiled. “A good fight works up quite an appetite.”

The two new friends eagerly accepted the treat, and while they were eating Dís watched them carefully. She had noticed how these two interacted with each other; as if they had been lifelong friends, even though they met mere moments ago. Yes, this wouldn’t be the last time she saw Tullaina. Dís was sure of it. 

That reminded her of something…

“How come I haven’t seen you around, Tullaina?”

“I like to stay home, inside, where it’s safe,” the girl looked down in embarrassment and whispered. “There... there are no bullies there.”

“Then why were you even out there in the first place?” Kíli wondered.

“Kíli!” Dís chided him. She gave him a stern look but he didn’t even falter and looked at her expectantly. 

Tullaina chuckled. She kind of liked Kíli’s cheekiness and lack of filter when he spoke. It was a nice change from the usual harsh words and sneers she had to hear from others. 

“It’s fine. My adad works in the mines and I sometimes bring him his lunch,” she explained to Kíli. 

“He does? I know where that is!” he said enthusiastically. “You know what? Next time you have to go there, I’ll go with you!”

“That’s a great idea, Kíli,” Dís agreed, she couldn’t be happier that her youngest had found a new friend. He was starting to get lonely now Fíli spent more time with Thorin. Tullaina might be exactly what he needed to stay out of trouble. 

But Tullaina shook her head. “No, I can’t ask that of you! I’m-I’m sure you have much more important things to do.”

“Nonsense,” Dís waved her concern away. “You’re always welcome here, Tullaina.”

When Tullaina said her goodbyes - her mother will be worried sick by now - she had to promise Dís to come back the next day.

Kíli caught her off guard a bit when he hugged her, squeezing a lot harder than she expected him to.  

“See you tomorrow,” he said, and then his eyes lit up and a face-splitting grin appeared. 

“What?”

“I can’t wait for you to meet my brother!”

.

Kíli taglist: @elles-writing @sxperncturalimpala67

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If your name is scratched through, it means I couldn’t tag you! You might want to check your settings ;) 

[mardereads19]

Elriel Month 🌸🦇

Day 3:

Azriel followed the carriage silently, winnowing from tree to tree, his shadows informing him Elain was in position and ready. He didn’t feel comfortable in letting her do this, but he also trusted her to do her part well. She was more than capable, more than prepared. He had trained her, after all.

Well, he hadn’t been the only one. Elain had revealed to him that she had been training in secret for a while with Nuala and Cerridwen. They’d done a good job. He made a mental note to give them a bonus come Calanmai.

Also to reprimand them for keeping secrets while being his spies.

The sun had already set and there was no moon tonight, giving Azriel the perfect cover from the males Elain had to distract and dupe into giving away what they knew.

“If these males are being controlled by Koschei, will it even make sense to kidnap them?” Feyre had asked on their meeting in Rhys’s study this afternoon. Azriel had been quietly observing and listening to the plans his High Lord had been piecing together. “At least, when Briallyn had control over Eris’s males—”

“And me,” Cassian had supplied from where he stood next to his mate, his arms crossed over his chest and face contemplative. Az had noted the way Nesta’s jaw clenched and her eyes shined silver for a second. The need to kill. The drive to eradicate the threat against her mate. Az had looked away.

Feyre had nodded. She’d looked tired, an expression that’d been mirrored in Rhys. The baby kept us awake all night. He wouldn’t stop crying, Rhys had told him earlier, but there had been light in his eyes, a quiet happiness even as he’d yawned.

Az had not seen his brother yawn in a while.

“And Cassian,” Feyre had added, a spark of anger in her eyes, “they would not talk.”

Az had agreed, “When we brought them to the Hewn City, they hadn’t given anything away.”

There’d been a silence for a moment. They had all, save for Nesta, witnessed Azriel’s administrations to the males of Autumn. No torture had gotten them to open their mouths, to reveal who had sent them after the mask. Feyre had pointed out how wrong it was to do that to them when they were not themselves.

Nesta had sat up straighter in her chair in the study before saying, “But what if they are being partially controlled?”

Rhys had raised his eyebrows.

Nesta had stood, Cassian reaching for her hand. Nesta let their fingers intertwine. It had brought a small pang of envy into Az’s heart. He’d pushed it away. “Bellius,” she said with disgust, “that male from the Blood Rite. He constantly mocked us, tried to rile us up. Sometimes I wonder if he gave too much away.”

Rhys had frowned. “Perhaps he wasn’t being controlled. He was only in on the plan.”

“He was being controlled,” Nesta insisted. Her gaze had been unfocused, as if lost in the memories. Cassian’s wings shifted. “He had that glassy look in his eyes that were on the Autumn Court males. I noticed it from the first time I met him. I thought he had been drunk at first.” She had blinked and, as if remembering where she was, had turned to Cass. He had pulled her closer to him, his eyes reassuring her.

Amren’s lips had twisted upwards in what might have been a smile before she turned to Rhys. “So there is a possibility that Koschei only partially controls these Fae, especially if they are far away from where he is located now. His grasp on them through his power may be less strong, perhaps allowing them the freedom to speak, like that male from the Blood Rite. What would you plan now?”

“I’m still not sure about this,” Feyre had contributed. “The Crown may not work the same way Koschei’s powers could. He could still have full influence over them.”

“Koschei is a death god,” Rhys had said, “I don’t think his power excels in controlling others more than it does in killing them. The crown’s whole purpose is to control living beings and, if it has that limit, then I’m willing to bet Koschei does, too.”

“I wouldn’t place a bet on a thought, Rhys.” It had been clear Feyre was worried. Her fingers had kept tapping on the table. Az wondered if it came as a result of being a mother, that worrying. That caring for the well-being of others. “If we brought them here, could you guarantee they’ll break?”

“I don’t think Azriel could get them to sing for us.” Rhys inhaled. His eyes roamed the map of the continent, focusing on the coast of the human territory. “If Bellius spoke to rile Nesta and her friends up, then only their own arrogant boasting will get them to talk. They have to feel like they are giving the information out of their own free will. That they’d be gaining something by it, even if it’s admiration or applause.”

Azriel had tilted his head, analyzing what Rhys was implying. “There is no one in this room that can convince those men to speak.” Feyre and Rhys were recognizable to all the Fae. Cassian and Az were Illyrian, which would raise suspicions. There was no reason for an Illyrian be on the mortal lands of the continent. And Amren and Nesta had as much chance of charming those Fae as Bryaxis had of calming people.

Mor would have been their best choice, but she was on the Fae side of the continent, too far away to reach in time for tonight.

Rhys had met Az’s gaze. There was a shine on them that often told Azriel that Rhys had an idea. Something in his gut had told him he wouldn’t like it. “No. No one in this room can do it. But I know who.”

“Stop your games and just spill it, boy. I don’t have time for this.” Amren had said, narrowing her eyes at Rhys.

Cassian had rolled his eyes, “What could possibly be more vital than this right now?”

“I have a date with Varian to taste different types of meat and I’m starving. If I stay here any longer, I might eat yours.”

Cassian had barked a laugh. “I wanna see you try, tiny ancient one.”

Azriel had kept his focus on Rhys. Waiting. Fear making his heart beat faster. He knew what was coming.

Finally, Rhys had asked, “How has Elain’s training gone?”

And now, Azriel was following the carriage to where she would be waiting for the Fae. Where she would pretend to be a victim of a robbery. A female riding a wagon on her own in the lonely road when a thief took advantage of the solitude to steal the resources she was on her way to sell in the market and make a coin. Az was to stay in the shadows. He was only allowed to be here in the case the Fae males wanted to take another type of advantage out of her.

Azriel fisted his hands. He had half a mind to destroy the males now and claim a freak accident had killed them rather than find out what they’d intend with her.

He stopped a second, telling his breathing to calm, waiting for his rage to subside. He couldn’t make decisions when his mind was violent, he needed a clear head.

He kept moving only because the carriage did, but he still wanted to spill blood.

A noise caught his attention. There, just beyond the curve of the road, was Elain kneeling on the floor crying as she held a few pieces of the wagon’s wood. Azriel fought the impulse to winnow to her, to console her, to hold her. Tell her everything was alright. That he was with her and no one would hurt her.

She’s pretending. Her cries aren’t real. She knows I’m here.

But it was difficult. His wings twitched, his shadows scattered towards her, but still hid from view. They were ready to strike at his command. Anyone who got near her.

Stand down, he said to them.

The carriage had gotten close enough to to see Elain on the road, see the mess of the wagon, and notice the horse that led it missing.

“Ho!” The rider called to his own horses while pulling on the reins. They stopped next to the wagon’s destruction. Pieces of wood lay around it and Elain. Rhys had taken care of that.

“Cover your face,” he had told Elain before sending a wave of his power to the empty wagon. Elain had covered her face, but noticed it hadn’t been necessary. Azriel had secured a dome of his own power around her. Wood struck a blue wall and jumped off harmlessly. Rhys had narrowed his eyes at him, “Disperse the wood, Azriel. Otherwise it will be weird indeed that the wood landed all around except for that clear demarcation of a dome.”

Azriel looked down. Right, there was a clear difference between where his power had encircled Elain and where it hadn’t.

She had sucked on her lower lip to hide her smile. Azriel felt hot in the face, but he didn’t care that he had made a foolish mistake to protect her. She met his gaze and he saw a promise there that he tucked away before his scent gave away the direction his mind had gone off to.

Elain turned to Rhys, her pale pink dress looking white in the dusk light. Rhys had estimated the Fae would take this road and would be here in half an hour. It was an isolated enough road, one Fae loved to use to stay hidden inside the mortal lands. It was surrounded by forest on both sides, the smell of pine was strong here, but it was a scent Azriel liked. The wagon was brought here by both males in their winnowing.

“Was it really necessary to destroy the wagon like that? Wouldn’t it have sufficed to simply break a wheel?” Elain had asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Rhys studied the mess in the road, his brow furrowed in thought. “A thief would have no need to go to all that trouble.”

“Perhaps not,” he had answered throwing her a wink, “but it just contributes to your woeful story. Make sure to cry extra loud.”

Elain had shaken with laughter and Azriel had taken a step closer to her impulsively. He wanted to lay a hand on her waist, to feel her laugh reverberate through him.

Now, he watched her shake in sobs instead. One of the males from inside the carriage stepped down and walked closer to her. He was dressed in cheap armor, dirty from use, and his brown hair was tied at his nape. The male surveyed the wagon, the destruction and lack of a horse, and finally glanced at Elain. His eyes roamed her body, but Azriel couldn’t tell if the glassy look in his eyes were from the control the male was under or for a different drive.

Azriel felt that hunger for violence stir inside him and fought with everything he could to keep still.

Stand down, Azriel repeated to the shadows when he noticed how they were risking exposure by getting closer to Elain. Hesitantly, they skittered back into the dark.

“What happened here, dear?” The male asked, though his voice didn’t drip kindness.

Elain put on a good show, sobbing and wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her simple dress. She had to look the part of a Fae in hiding, so the dress was akin to the human clothes this area donned, her hair was arranged over her ears, and the glow of her High Fae beauty had been glamoured to an acceptable degree.

“Good, Sir.” She stood and curtsied. “I was riding on the way to the market—” a sob “—when a thief came by.” Tears flowed down Elain’s cheeks so effortlessly Azriel wondered if she was hurt. Did she twist her ankle again while he was away? Perhaps with one of the wood planks he himself had dispersed.

Not real tears, one of his shadows assured him.

He didn’t relax.

“When were you attacked?”

“This afternoon.” She sniffed. “I’ve been here hours, seeing as how hidden this road is. I have no way of getting home.” Elain covered her face in her hands. “I live too far away, and I have an injury in my right leg that makes walking for long periods unbearable.” She wiped away her tears. “I stayed here hoping someone might come around and help me get to a place where I could sleep the night and hopefully rent a horse during the week.”

“Did the thief not take your coin?” The male sounded skeptical.

She nodded, “They did, of course, but I could work for a few days and make the money. I just need a ride.” Elain fidgeted with her dress, successfully looking devastated and scared.

The male gazed back at the carriage and the others, considering his options. Azriel held his breath as the male regarded Elain once more. His face revealed he felt superior, a male who knew he had control of the situation. Exactly what they needed him to think. He also looked like he wanted to impress this lovely female he happened to rescue.

He inclined his head to the side, a smile spreading over his face. “Alright, sweet face. We can take you.”

After a few teary grateful expressions from Elain, the male opened the door of the carriage for her with all the satisfaction of a savior. She climbed the first step, pretending a limp, and as she did so, she glanced over her shoulder.

To the male, she was looking back to the destroyed wagon and up to the trees in sadness. But her gaze met Azriel’s. She had know exactly where he was. He hoped she could read in his eyes what he wanted to tell her.

You’re not alone. I’m right behind you. You’re doing great, lovely fawn. You’re doing great.

Her head dipped in the smallest of nods and then she was inside and the male was closing the door behind him.

Azriel clenched his jaw.

Now the real work begun.

[radiant-flutterbun]

Just Evan 2

Previous

(This is a side story happening alongside Mason’s Brightside)

Evan woke up to pain. Neglecting to use his crutches the other day had proven to be a mistake.

“Oh come on body,” Evan grumbled “You either feel the pain or not! Make up your mind!”

He crawled out of his bed and made sure to keep the weight off his injured knee until he could grab the crutches.

“Well this blows.”

He took some medicine for the pain and trudged down the stairs into the clan’s lobby. There he saw Fallen reading at one of the tables. Evan grinned and sat next to the pearlcatcher.

“Hey, good morning!”

Fallen jumped “Oh! Didn’t see you there. Good to see you again and good morning to you too!”

“Whatcha reading so early in the morning?”

“It’s 11 AM.”

“Yeah. Super early.”

“I’ve been up since 6.”

“Why would you ever want to get up that early?”

Fallen gestured toward the stack of books beside him “Because I’ve got a lot of work to do!”

“How many of those have you read today?”

“I’m on my fifth right now.”

“Holy shit dude, you should take a break.”

“I did! I had a freshly baked croissant from Firespitter two hours ago.”

“That’s hardly a break. What are you even studying anyway?”

“Magic!”

“But why? Aren't all dragons just inherently magical beings?”

“Well yes, but no. We are all born with magical ability, some of us more than others. But for magic to be any use we need to train our minds and bodies! Think of it like wings, you and I both have them but we were born with different structured wings and we weren't born knowing how to use them! So the magical ability of dragons is part genetic and part skill. I have a lot of magical potential within me, so now I must learn how to use it!”

“Ok but how does reading all these books help?”

“Isra is my teacher. These are the books he told me to read. He will be testing how much I learned from these books in a few days.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me.”

“H-huh?” 

“So you’re reading some books to take a test on how well you remembered the material within the books right?”

“Yeah?”

“So you’re just being tested on how well you memorize the material. You’re not really learning anything.”

“What! I am too!”

“I’m just saying, I remember seeing kids just like you at my old high school. They’d spend all their time studying and do nothing else. And well, as someone who died I’ve got another perspective on how valuable time is. It’s limited, you know.”

“And I’m spending my time wisely! I’m getting up early to study instead of sleeping through the morning! I’m studying as an investment for my future!”

“And there’s no guarantee you’ll have that future,” Evan stood up. “But if you want to study, I guess that’s cool too. But it’s still a gamble. No one knows when or how they’ll die. No one knows which choices will pay off in the end, so at least give yourself another break.”

Evan left Fallen and entered the kitchen to grab something to eat. Fallen frowned after him.

Evan was in his own secluded corner in the kitchen as he ate. From experience he knew others found his way of eating uncomfortable. So he made sure to have his blood meal away from anyone else. He sunk his fangs into a rabbit. He could tell the kill was fresh from the taste of the blood as he drained the creature dry.

He looked up as a dragon entered the kitchen. It was Fallen. Evan wiped away any excess blood around his mouth and stood up, only to stumble from putting weight on his bad knee.

Fallen noticed him immediately.

“I thought you were studying,” Evan said as he adjusted his weight onto the crutches.

“You convinced me to take a break,” Fallen said “A proper break. I decided that I can spare an hour away from my books.”

“Hey, that's great!” Evan discarded the now mummified rabbit.

“And since you’re so concerned about my time management I wanted to know what you would suggest I do on my break.”

“Well what do you want to do?”

“I want to study.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. But you’re right that taking breaks is good, so I’m determined to stay away from my books until the hour is up.”

“You don’t want to do anything else? Don’t you have any hobbies?”

Fallen frowned “Well… I used to read books unrelated to my studies a lot when I was younger. But it’s best not to strain my eyes on other books.”

“How about a nap?”

“I’m not tired.”

“A walk?”

“Sure! That sounds good. Would you like to come with me?”

Evan grinned, but then remembered his knee “Well yes but…”

“Your knee. Right. Sorry.”

“Wait, you know what? I think I could still go for a walk. It doesn’t hurt that much.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! I’ll be fine.” It was true that the pain was starting to go away again. He wasn’t sure if it was from the medicine or just his fucked up body.

***

The two boys walked away from the clan, and into the more densely populated communities surrounding the Beacon of the Radiant Eye. They were so busy making small talk that Evan didn’t even notice he’d stopped using the crutches and was starting to put weight back onto the knee again.

“So, how do you know Muerto?” Fallen asked.

“Oh, he just killed me at the ripe old age of 16 and I woke up as a corpse. But that was the past! It’s fine! I’m over it!”

“It doesn’t sound like you’re over it.”

Evan shrugged “It was a long time ago. He made me a god, and now we’re even.”

“Whoa, that’s a thing that can happen?”

“Yeah. Muerto told me it was an ability every major god has, but they can only do it once. This of course only applies to the gods of my world. I don’t know about your dragon gods.” Evan looked up at the Beacon.

“Huh. Well we should probably start to head back. I really didn’t mean to walk this far away from the clan. My hour is probably nearly up!”

“Hey there’s no need to rush. Why not make your break a little longer?”

“Because it’s a break. I need to get back to my studies.”

A poster caught Evan’s eye “Whoa, did you know about this?”

It was a poster with a painterly image of lanterns drifting over the Beacon of the Radiant Eye.

“Yes, it’s the annual Lantern Festival,” Fallen answered.

“It’s tonight! Why isn’t anyone at Ton Theon talking about this?”

“Well, because we try to stay away from the Beacon when we can. Unfortunately, we’re no longer favored by the Lightweaver what with Inkdrop, and the Emperor incident and well…” He looked at Evan.

“The aliens. Right. Figures,” Evan frowned.

“But I suppose you could still go. I’m sure if it’s just you no unwanted attention would be drawn.”

“... Can’t you go with me?”

“Oh no, I’ll be in bed by then!”

“C’mon, please?”

“No. I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“Have you ever seen it yourself?”

Fallen bit his lip “Well no but-”

“You should go! What’s the harm in staying up a little past your bedtime? You only live once!”

Fallen clicked his tongue “... I’ll think about it.”

***

Evan found himself a decent seat to watch the lanterns. He was alone.

“Eh, I’m a big boy. I can do things by myself. It’s fine.”

“Oh, if that’s the case then I’ll head back to the clan.”

Evan turned around to see Fallen standing awkwardly behind him.

“I thought it was your bedtime.”

“Well yes but… I’ve always wanted to see this.”

“I can't believe you’ve lived here all your life and never stopped to see this.”

Fallen shrugged. “Mind if I sit by you?”

Evan patted the space beside him and Fallen sat down.

It wasn’t long before the Lightweaver made her appearance. She gave a speech that was hard to hear from where Evan and Fallen were sitting, but the speech wasn’t why they were there. Soon they could see the first of the lanterns enter the sky.

Evan smiled at the sight. They looked like fireflies in the night sky. 

“Wow…” Fallen was memorized by the sight.

Dragons around them ooed and awed as the lanterns changed colors.

“They’re telling a story!” Fallen clapped his hands.

“They are?”

“Yes! Each of the colors represent the different flights. Did you notice they started as light green, dark blue, orange and brown? They represent the first flights! It’s about the creation of Sornieth!”

“I don’t know how you got that from a couple of colors, but it sure is pretty.”

The festival ended too soon. The sky was dark save for the stars and dragons began to disperse. 

“Ok, now I really must get to bed,” Fallen said “But I had a really great time. Thank you for convincing me to come.”

Evan blushed “Hey, no problem! Maybe we could… Do something like this again?”

“I don’t know… I don’t want to get behind in my studies. And as nice as this was, I don’t want to mess up my sleeping schedule!”

“Right…” Evan tried to hide his disappointment “Well I’m glad we both got to see our first Lantern Festival together. Have a good night, Fallen.”

“Night Evan!”

Evan went to bed that night with conflicted thoughts. He really did enjoy spending time with Fallen, but the young pearlcatcher was too preoccupied with his stupid schoolwork! How was Evan supposed to socialize with Fallen if he had his nose stuck in a book? He’d have to find more ways to get him to stop studying. How important could all that really be anyway?

Surely friends have to be more important than stuffy books, right? Evan thought to himself as he drifted to sleep.

[annab-nana]

Is There Something There - Tom Holland

During an interview that you were doing with Tom for Endgame press, some of the questions catch you both off guard and one leads to you two talking about something you’ve both been feeling about each other.

A/N: I’m going to be honest. I don’t really like this one because I already feel like I use a lot of dialogue as a writer and this is an interview so there is a lot of dialogue, but I also like the story here so that why I decided to post it. Also, it’s my first Tom fic so I hope you all enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated!

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 4.1k+  

--------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you didn’t know who Obadiah Stane was,” you giggled with Tom as you two left the room you had just been in doing an interview to head to another one in a few minutes.

“He asked what an Obadiah Stane was, so I thought it was a thing, not a person,” he defended, his smile stretching as his words brought you more laughter.

“I’m sure Robert would love to know that his little buddy didn’t even know the name of the villain in the first Iron Man movie,” you teased Tom while he chuckled along with you. “But I will give you the infinity stones question. All I could remember was the reality stone and the time stone, but you rattled off the first five in a matter of seconds and then the last one came to your mind shortly after. It was impressive.”

“Thank you, thank you,” he stated sarcastically with a bow and a tip of his head. “You know what was funny? When you said Sebastian would be a bad baby name. That was hilarious,” he brought up before dying of laughter again at the joke you made earlier in the interview.

“Yeah, and I can guarantee you that he said my name too when they asked him which MCU name would be the worst as well,” you told him while laughing along with him.

“This is it I think,” the man who had been leading you to your next interview announced to you both before opening the door.

“Ladies first,” Tom said to you while holding a hand out to show you the way. You playfully rolled your eyes at the dork you had been paired with for the day as you walked into the room.

It was no secret that Tom Holland could not keep his mouth shut when he needed to. He just gets too excited and has to tell someone. He along with Ruffalo were terrible secret keepers and when it came to interviews, they had to do them with someone who could pay attention to them and catch them before they slip up. Benedict got paired with Mark and you obviously were with Tom.

“Good morning you two! I imagine you both have been very busy today,” the woman who would be conducting the interview asked when you and Tom walked over to her and got settled in your spots on the couch after you each shook her hand.

“Yes ma’am, we have been busy, but it has been loads of fun I would say,” Tom responded first while he got comfortable on the couch and stretched his arm to lay against the back of it before you nodded your head in agreement at his previous statement.

“Super fun especially since we get to do it together,” you spoke to the lady before meeting the dashing brown eyes of your partner for the day.

“She’s just saying that because she has to be with me. She actually hates me,” Tom teased while you rolled your eyes at him.

“I do not hate him. Does he get a little aggravating from time to time? Yeah, but I don’t hate him,” you played along with the boy’s joke as he chuckled lightly at you.

“Wait, y/n has to be with you, Tom?” the interviewer inquired, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion as to why you were forced to be with him. She probably thought it was a little weird that you, the actress who plays Guardian of the Galaxy Willa Adler, and Tom, the actor of Peter Parker who was also known as Spider-Man, were doing press for Endgame together. If she saw Infinity War, she knew you were both onscreen together a good bit in that movie, but still she most likely was wondering why you were not doing interviews with Chris Pratt like you normally were since he played your older brother figure in the past few Marvel films you have done.

“Well, yeah, someone has to be with me because I can’t keep my mouth shut and y/n is good at telling when I’m about to say something I shouldn’t, so she is here to help me not spill the beans on anything,” Tom laughed while a slight blush of embarrassment dusted across his cheeks.

“Yeah, I have been told I’m good at reading people and we’ve become really good friends lately, so I guess I better at reading him than some of the others. I don’t know. I think it’s funny that he has to be with someone, or he’ll spill all the information on everything,” you giggled as you responded to the question too.

“Oh well, I guess it’s good you two have been paired together and later on I’ll have some questions specifically for the both of you. Anyway, I spoke with Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan and that pair,” she paused for a chuckle, “They like to tease you two, don’t they?” As soon as she mentioned their names, you both knew where the question was headed and you and Tom both nodded towards the woman.

“Yeah, we have quite the rivalry with those two, don’t we?” Tom led the answer for you to continue.

“Yes, but it’s all out of love,” you reassured the interviewer while you all shared a laugh.

“It’s all love, for sure. I think it’s because we are the youngest and easiest to pick on because we take the jokes well and we’ll shoot them right back. I find it funny how it's them against us. We will tease them and they’ll tease us, but at the same time, we split it up and it’ll be me and Mackie going at each other, and y/n and Stan will pick on each other quite a bit. It’s like the big brothers teasing their younger siblings and they each have their favorite one to pick on. I love it. I find it so hilarious,” Tom told the woman, a chuckle falling past his lips.

“Especially the juice box joke,” you laughed. “That one is my favorite.”

“Juice box joke?” she asked, her emerald eyes dancing between you and Tom while you both wore huge smiles on your faces from all the laughing you both had been doing.

“Yeah, Mackie likes to joke and say that ‘I need my juice boxes or I’ll go crazy without them’ that I need the sugar or something,” Tom expressed using air quotes with his fingers to show Anthony’s words. “They say I need juice boxes and y/n needs water bottles.”

“Why’s that?” the lady quizzed at the second part of his sentence as a light laugh escaped her mouth. You audibly groaned, knowing which story was about to come up next.

“She forgets to drink water sometimes and then she’ll get dehydrated and when we’re shooting harder scenes or if there’s a lot of light on her and it gets hot, then it doesn’t end well,” Tom told the interviewer honestly before she looked to you to continue or confirm his statements.

“It was one time and I just forget to drink water sometimes. I’m okay,” you reassured before taking a sip of water from the glass next to you.

“One time?” the blonde woman inquired further. You loved doing these interviews, but at times the people conducting them tended to be a little pushy and don’t pick up on the hint that you don’t want to share this story. You knew she wasn’t going to give so you spoke.  

“Tell the story, Tom,” you instructed with a sigh before turning in your chair to face him better. His hand still rested on the back of the couch behind you and he brought it down slightly to rub at the top of your back and play with your hair a little, a friendly and comforting gesture that you were very thankful for at the moment as he was about to share one of your more embarrassing experiences.

“Okay, so you know that scene in Infinity War where the Guardians, Strange, Tony, and I are in that spaceship and the Guardians are coming at us because they think we’re with Thanos?” When she nods her head, Tom continues with the story.

“Well, that particular day, y/n forgot to drink basically anything and in the makeup and suits and stuff, it gets really hot. It’s the scene where Willa has Peter Parker in a chokehold and Peter Quill has a gun to my head. So, when we were shooting that, y/n has her arms around my neck, not tightly obviously. She’s not actually trying to choke me, but you can feel it, you know. So, as I said, she wasn’t holding me tightly, but I felt her arms loosen from around me before she was supposed to, and she leaned against me a little.” The interviewer let out a slight gasp before looking at you and you nodded towards her, letting her know his words were true.

“I turned my head and asked her if she was okay, but she just nodded her head. She didn’t say anything, just nodded her head, and right then I knew something was wrong just by looking at her. I turned around and grabbed her before she fell and sat down with her. Chris came as well and was checking on her while Benedict and Robert went to get help and some water. But we got her some water, and she was good to go shortly after.”

“That must’ve been scary for the both of you,” she commented while her widened eyes jumped from yours to the set of honey brown ones to your left.

“It was honestly one of the scariest days on set for me,” Tom added before looking to you, his fingers still switching from rubbing small circles into your neck and twirling your hair between them.

“I was in and out of it, so I don’t remember much. All I remember is leaning against him and him helping me down. It was more embarrassing to me and I hate thinking about it, but now I will never get to forget about it because Anthony and Seb won’t ever let me live it down,” you told the woman with a small laugh which she joined in on along with Tom.

“Your characters both have this relationship with someone older than you that you look up to, Peter Parker with Tony Stark and Willa Adler with Peter Quill. How was it for you both to do your death scene in Infinity War with those people?” she asked you and Tom. Tom looked to you for you to start off the question so you do.

“Both Willa and Peter have had it rough as far as a mentor or someone who can really help guide them in life because they keep losing them. Peter lost his parents when he was younger, then his uncle, and then he disintegrates in Tony’s arms. Willa lost a lot of people in a short amount of time. Quill and Willa were both taken by Yondu at different times for their own good to save them from their terrible fathers, so she didn’t have anyone to look up to on Earth. Then she lost Yondu and feared she lost Quill when things with Ego went down. Then in Infinity War when they are all trying to take the gauntlet off Thanos, she finds out that she lost Gamora, the only girl Willa has ever had by her side, so that breaks her even further. Then after the snap, she watches all of her found family turn to dust around her. She watches Quill turn to ashes right before she can get to him and then she tries to run to Nebula who is the only person she has left before she goes with the rest of them. Right after that, we watch Peter and Tony hold each other and Peter goes so the scene overall is a terribly sad one. It took a lot of emotion for both of us I think.”

“Yeah, like she said, both of them have experienced great loss. Peter is a little more used to it while Willa loses someone before she’s done grieving the last person she lost. She definitely had to put a lot more emotion into it, but Willa is also the kind of person who holds her emotions in. You can see in that scene she was talking about, Willa tried to hold it in when she found out about Gamora but started to break down as she saw everyone she loved dissipate into nothing. Peter was emotional of course and he didn’t want to go like he just saw everyone around him do but at least he went out in the arms of someone he loves and looks up to a lot,” Tom added to your explanation with his own.

“I would say that scene after the snap with you two is the saddest in my opinion. So, to lighten the mood a little, there is a lot of talk about the family feel that the cast has, and the people wanted to know if that is true?” she asked as she flipped through her cards.

“Yes!” you immediately agreed.

“Of course, we all get along and it is super fun especially in films like these where we get to be together. Peter got to be with Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and the Guardians of the Galaxy and it was amazing filming with everybody. I loved it, didn’t you?” Tom pushed the question over to you.

“Yeah, it was super fun. I always get to film with a large group of people, but I got to film with Chris Hemsworth and then later on with RDJ and Benedict and Tom. It was great to work with so many amazing people,” you commented while you shifted in your seat a little, trying to get comfortable again.

“Mackie and Stan are like our annoying older brothers as I said earlier,” Tom mentioned with a light chuckle.

“Yeah,” you giggled before continuing with his analogy. “RDJ, Evans, and Hemsworth are like the fathers, the founding fathers really since they’ve been there since the beginning. Umm, Pratt and Rudd are the funny uncles. Elizabeth, Zoe, Karen, Scarlett, and Danai are the cool aunts. And then you’ve got people like Benedict, Chadwick, Pom, Letitia, and Tom who are absolute sweethearts. Everyone is just super cool and fun and sweet, and we couldn’t ask for a better group of people to work with.” The lady awed at your words while Tom’s eyes softened at them.

“That was really sweet, y/n, and you are amazing to work with as well,” he grinned as he spoke which you returned him on as well while you nodded at him. His hand shifted down to your shoulder and he kept it there, something you didn’t mind at all. “Everything she said was spot on and everyone we get the opportunity to work with is awesome and they’re great people. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Do you think your characters will appear onscreen together in the future?” the interviewer questioned before she looked up from her card to the both of you.

“Um, I’ll take this one,” you said to both of them, but mainly to Tom so he knew he wouldn’t have to add anything or spoil anything without knowing it. “So, Peter normally protects Queens, and Willa’s territory is all of outer space. In Infinity War, you saw that Peter’s experience in space wasn’t the best and Willa had a terrible life on Earth though she didn’t know it at the time because she was so young when Yondu took her. I don’t see them crossing paths again in the future if everything gets ‘fixed’ like everyone is hoping for, but if another space titan comes to destroy half of all living things or something big like that, then yeah maybe you’d see Willa and Peter onscreen again, but I don’t think it is likely,” you told the woman as she nodded her head.

“Marvel is full of surprises though, so you never know what is going to happen,” Tom added, earning a laugh from you since you knew firsthand how true the statement was.

“The fans love seeing you two together and you both clearly have good chemistry so what is it like working with one another?” the blonde asked before pushing some fallen hair behind her ear.

“I’ll go first,” Tom stated as he turned a bit in his seat and smiled your way. You playfully rolled your eyes, getting ready for him to completely roast your ass.

“She’s mean, a total diva, a drama queen,” he started listing off several false claims before busting out laughing at your pouting face. “I’m kidding,” he chuckled while he leaned over to grab your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“No, go on. I’m thinking about teaming up with Mackie and Seb and all three of us can rip you to shreds,” you sarcastically smiled at him before you dropped the grin and shot him a death glare.

“Okay maybe I wasn’t lying about the mean part,” he joked causing you to smile again. His brown eyes lit up at the sight and he finally continued with answering the question.

“No, but for real, she is amazing, as a person and as an actress. Every time I watch her, I am reminded of how phenomenal of an actress she is. You all have seen the gag reels of me and how I can’t keep a straight face if my life depended on it, but I watched her and the person she was filming with slipped up. She kept a straight face until they started laughing so she started laughing too. If that was me, I would’ve started laughing before anyone even messed up. And even when she’s feeling poorly, she performs so well. Y/n is so incredible to watch and work with. She is truly a great person and an even better friend. I’m glad we have each other to lean on when we get teased for being the youngest out of everyone,” he chuckled after literally just melting your heart. You leaned over to wrap your arms around his torso, his arm going around your back to rest his hand on your side.

“That was really sweet, Tom,” you whispered while giving him a little squeeze before pulling away from him. He did not remove his arm from around you though, so you scooted closer to make it more comfortable for you both.

“He may say my acting is good, but I’ve got to brag on his as well. He is so good at improvising and going with the flow of things. I am a very ‘follow the lines and stick to the script’ kind of person, but his improv makes his scenes and character so much better. That may be because he is basically Peter Parker in real life so when the cameras are rolling, it is truly interesting to see. He lights up any room he walks into and makes every day easier when we are working. He is a delight to work with and just generally be around and I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Thanks y/n,” he grinned down at you and you smiled right back.

“How is he like Peter Parker in real life?” the woman further inquired as she adjusted herself in her seat to sit more comfortably.

“For one, he is a major dork,” you started before snickering at Tom’s furrowed brows and stuck out lip.

“You just said all that nice stuff and then called me a dork,” he huffed and turned his head from you. He dramatically removed his arm from around and placed his hand in his lap.

“Oh, come on. You know it’s true,” you told him to which he sighed.

“Yeah, it’s true,” he gave in before nodding at the interviewer.

“So, there’s that,” you continued to answer the question. “He’s a little awkward, but in a charming and lovable way. He cannot keep a secret at all. There’s probably more, but that’s all I can think of right now. Everybody loves Peter Parker and everyone loves Tom Holland. I mean it when I say they are the same person.”

“So, there is a good bit of speculation of a budding romance between the both of you and the people want to know if there is something there,” she stated before playing with the rings on her fingers.

Before you could open your mouth to deny the suspicion, Tom grabbed your hand in his, interlacing his fingers with yours. A blush crept up on your cheeks when he placed his lips against the back of your hand.

“Do you want to tell her, babe?” he asked as he shot you a wink, the small act telling you it was a joke. The growing grin on his face told you his actions were false as well, but you couldn’t help how your heart fell that it was all a lie. You once again rolled your eyes at the boy who held your hand.

“You can tell her, sweetheart,” you giggled while Tom held your hand in both of his and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Y/n and I have been in a relationship for a little while now and that relationship has been completely platonic and we are just friends,” he laughed as he placed your hand back in your own lap. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t miss the feeling of his hand in yours, but now was not the time to think about that.

“Yeah guys, we’re only friends,” you chuckled, making eye contact with the camera that was filming the whole thing while you lifted your head from its previous resting place on his shoulder. “Nothing more.”

Later after the interview, you and Tom are walking to the car that was going to take you both back to your hotel and the events of earlier kept circling through your mind. The way it felt to have his arm around you and you leaning into his side. You craved that feeling. His hand in yours and his lips pressed to the back of it. You wanted more of that. Just being with him, you strived to have more moments with him, but you always thought that it was because you were really good friends and you liked having his presence near. However, you feared that you were into something more that he was not going to be interested in.

“You did good with the whole dating joke. That was funny,” you giggled lightly as you bumped his shoulder while walking by his side.

“Hopefully, you didn’t think it was too funny,” he mumbled, his own eyes widening at his slight confession. Your eyebrows drew together in confusion and your feet stopped moving forward.

“What?” you spoke the only word that was running through your mind at the moment. Tom stopped walking as well and turned to face you.

“I kinda liked holding your hand and I kinda like you,” he stated sheepishly, his gorgeous brown eyes looking everywhere but at you.

“What are you saying, Tom?” you asked, knowing exactly what he was saying but you wanted to be sure. He stepped forward a bit and took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers just as he did before.

“I’m saying that I like you, y/n, and I want to be with you. We can just try it out for a little bit?” he asked more than stated.

“You mean we can try out being together?”

“Yeah, we can keep it quiet until we’re sure and then if you want, we can go public with it. I was not lying when I said I love working with you. It wasn’t because you’re great to work with because you are. It was because you are great to be with. So maybe we try this out and see how things work with us while we do press and see how things work after this when we are separate and doing our own thing. We can go from there and see if this is something we want to continue or announce?” he questioned nervously while his eyes finally locked with yours. The corners of your mouth turned upwards in a huge grin, happy to be hearing what you had wished to hear for a while now.

“I’d love to be with you, Tom,” you gushed, grinning ear to ear.

“Well, that’s great, babe,” he chuckled after using the nickname he called you earlier. His other hand slid around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You felt his breath fan over your lips before he closed the space between you two.

“But you know that Mackie and Seb are going to pick on us about this too right?” you reminded him when you pulled away slightly and he giggled.

“Yeah, we’re never going to hear the end of it.”

--------------------------------------------------

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[theheartchoice]

post-15.19 coda  |  dean/cas  |  dean + sam  |  1.3k  |  ao3 

"We're all set here."

Dean hums as Sam brushes his hands together in his periphery. He didn't even realise they were so close to finishing the set up. 

"Now it's just a matter of timing." 

Timing. Cas had the worst timing. Saying something like that at a time like that, leaving Dean with more questions than answers. 

"Dean?" 

"..Huh?" 

"You okay? You spaced-out, for a minute there." 

"Yeah, I'm just—" he waves a hand around, trying and failing to capture what he's feeling. 

"Look, about Jack," Sam steps closer, voice dipping to a tone that means sympathy and support, the kind that gets a work out on a case. "I know things with you two have always been kind of complicated, and I can imagine that him not bringing Cas back has only made things harder—" 

"—Woah, Sam. No. I get it—really. He's hands off, y'know? Probably for the best. Meddling was Chuck's problem, it's how everything got so screwed up in the first place." Not that he's palming all his mistakes off on bad writing, but still. Jack not intervening is a good thing, in a way. 

"Yeah, I guess. Makes you wonder if he might not condone what we're doing here, you know?" 

Dean hums again. "But you'd think if he let anyone have one more get-out-of-jail-free card it'd be Cas. Who knows, maybe Jack's rootin' for us."

"Yeah, maybe," Sam chuckles. "Don't worry. It's gonna work."

That's sort of what Dean's worried about. 

"You seem nervous."

Maybe Sam could help. 

"You sure you're okay?" 

"I just—" how does he even phrase it? "When Cas was—I mean, before he saved me, he.. said some stuff." 

"What kind of stuff?" 

"Big stuff. Deathbed confession, type-stuff." 

"Confession? What did he—" and realisation dawns on Sam, because of-fucking-course it does. "Oh."

No use hiding it now. "Yeah, 'oh'."

"So. He finally told you." 

Wait what? "What d'you mean finally?" 

"Dean." And there's so much in just that one word. "Cas has been in love with you for.. well, I don't know how long, exactly. A while, I think. Years." 

Dean's lungs empty in a rush. "Okay, see, that's the thing: he's an Angel, Sam."

"Yeah, I kinda picked up on that."

Dean sends him a bitch face but Sam just smiles. "Tha—it's a human emotion. Angels don'—they can't feel that way." Right?

"Serafina did."

"Pretty sure she and Adam from the freakin' Garden of Eden knew each other for more than a few years. More like eons." 

"Since when does time determine love?" Sam gets a look Dean remembers from when he'd talk about the past, about Jess. Probably not something he wants to bring up right now, seeing as how Eileen's right outside. 

"Cas is my best friend, but he's literally older than the world." 

"So it's an age-thing?" 

"Wh—? No!" Dean takes a deep breath, to steady himself, steady his train of thought. "I know Cas is an Angel, okay? I mean, there's the mojo, and the not-sleeping, and he saw the first fish crawl outta the ocean—the whole nine. That's not what's botherin' me." Sam waits patiently. "I know he cares. I just don't know if.." If he feels the same way I do. "If he really feels the way he thinks he does. About me, about love, an'.." Dean swallows. "Love."

For all his tact in handling witnesses during a case (people who're at their most vulnerable), Sam fucking snickers. 

Dean glares daggers; half-hurt, half not surprised because isn't that how little brothers are supposed to act? They laugh at their sibling's relationship troubles? But Sam gets it, because his face softens. 

"Dean. Maybe Angels do feel things differently from Humans. In fact, it's pretty much guaranteed. But Cas has always been different from the rest of them. And I've been here over the years, you know. I've seen it." 

"Seen what?" 

"The way he looks at you. And I never thought it was some big secret, I mean—you saw it too! And you looked at him the same way." 

"Did not!" Sam gives him that: c'mon Dean you can't fool me here face, and he let's it go. Sam's probably not wrong. 

"What did you say? After he told you."

"I.." Nothing. He told Cas—begged him not to do it that way—but everything was happening so fast, and there was a decade's worth of doubt stopping Cas' words—those three huge words—from sinking in. Even after, as everything finally hit him and he curled up on the dungeon floor and cried his freakin' eyes out, even then, even now, he still doesn't know what he would've said if he had the moment again. "There was no time."

Sam nods. "Well, now there is. You guys can talk—"

"—What if I'm right?" Sam's brow crinkles at that. "I mean, no offence Sam, but I know him better than you do. What if.. what Cas feels, is.." he trails off, unable to get the words out. 

"..Are you worried he's not in love with you, or that he is?" 

One sounds better than the other. Both sound kinda terrifying. 

Sam sighs, and it's almost pitiful.

"I don't wanna lose him." As a friend, most of all. Because if Cas misunderstood the whole love-confession thing being for non-brotherly love then Dean won't say anything, obviously, but it'll hurt. Cas will be back but things will be different—worse actually, because that whole thing with The Empty made him confront his own feelings (or stop suppressing them, at least). Cas isn't just a friend to him, and it's not familial either. But can they go back to being 'just friends' after everything? Can Dean? 

"Dean, no matter what happens you're not going to lose him. Just look at everything the two of you have already been through."

Now there's a distracting and somewhat depressing train of thought. Apocalyptic times can't tear them apart, not for good, and even death is nothing new. It would be a painful joke of cosmic proportions if the thing that actually ruins their friendship is love. 

"Do you love him?" Dean's head snaps up to meet Sam's eyes. "Are you in love with Cas?" 

Eileen returns before he can think of a way to deflect, cutting off anymore talk about it. 

She gestures to Sam and he tells Dean, "It's time. You ready?" 

Dean's not sure what he would've said but the truth is best kept for Cas' ears anyway. And Sam's right. They have time. They can talk, and hopefully they'll figure things out and where they stand with as little heartache as possible. There's no avoiding it, not now, not after everything. He nods, steeling his resolve. "Yeah. I'm ready." 

At least he knows Chuck is no longer pulling their strings and that whatever happens from here on out it really is just him and Cas. The thought never even crossed his mind that Cas' confession might be Chuck's doing. Chuck didn't care enough about him to bother, and besides: Cas was always the rebel against God's story.

Dean steps over the threshold of painted sigils, taking his place in the centre of the circle. As Sam starts chanting he feels his worry over the truth of Cas' words ebb away and hope flow in to supplant it. The phantom scar of a handprint on his shoulder from when Cas rescued from Hell seems to flare to life and brand itself back into Dean's flesh, and the only thing going through his mind is: what if Cas really is in love with me? He smiles at the thought. 

As the glowing portal tears into existence before him he remembers something else Cas said to him, back when Dean was questioning his whole reality. Cas was steadfast and sincere as ever as he held Dean's eye and told him that they were real. And for the first time Dean knows that to be true. He feels it in his very soul. 

With his hand raised he moves towards the portal and braces for some kind of inter-dimensional shift, but he's not scared. This is the right thing to do, for both of them. 

Time to grip an Angel tight and raise him from perdition.