#like okay think i invented being abused just so i could pretend to be a lesbian online for a niche group of anti-feminist women that no one

[menalez]

also legit u do not have to believe every woman’s story of sexual assault or rape. ur allowed to believe that they actually simply regretted sth they had full autonomy and choice in like the MRA you are. but maybe keep that shit to urself. bc you may very well be telling someone who actually faced what they say they faced that they’re lying and making them relive traumas that they’re trying to overcome. it’s basic decency and it won’t hurt you to not accuse rape victims of lying about it.

[merrivia]

hi, do u know why some ppl in the fandom think laurent and damens first time was r*pe? i get that damianos was selfish but i just can’t see it as *that*

I went back to read chapter 19 of Captive Prince just to make sure of my stance on the chapter. I honestly can’t tell you exactly why people think that, but I have my theories.

If you were going to superficially read this scene in that way, I would have thought people would question the master/slave dynamic Laurent has over Damen, more than the other way round.

It could very well seem like it’s Laurent who pushes Damen into it to begin with:

Damen says “I-don’t-“ and Laurent speaks for him. Laurent acts as if Damen is a slave and has no choice.

Now, to be clear, Laurent doesn’t rape Damen either. But if you read this bit in isolation, you might get concerned about consent. That’s why it’s important to read the chapter in its entirety (syncing it up with the bonus chapter 19 and a half) and making sure you contextualise it within the wider plot of the novel. They’re both still pretending in this scene, and that pretence is what allows them license to sleep with each other. Enemy princes, one of whom killed the other’s brother, cannot lie together. But a Prince can lie with his bed slave. So they both keep up this pretence to be able to have this.

Look at the pain it causes Damen, who is someone who is aching desperately for physical intimacy with Laurent, to try and clear his head and stop. It saddens him so much that Laurent might be trying to reward him with sex:

Pacat had difficult choices to make in this scene. She wanted it to be almost unbearably private and intimate. It needed to stay true to the characters and their arcs and the world she had created. Sex isn’t always an easy cheerful tumble as Damen has experienced it to be. This is intensely personal as it’s also about two people falling in love, and who in this moment cannot see a way as to how they could possibly be together.

The scene progresses in such a way which shows the two communicating- as much as one can, when one is lying about his identity, and the other is feigning ignorance. When one is sexually liberated and experienced and the other, hugely traumatised and repressed. In a novel whose invented world is modelled on societies from centuries ago.

Damen stops and checks for what Laurent wants:

Damen literally asks Laurent to tell him his own pleasure, because he wouldn’t just roll him over and mount i.e he literally would never rape him.

He lets Laurent control what he wants at numerous points, such as kissing and double checks that he’s okay with actual penetrative sex:

I really don’t know what person imagines that Laurent, a victim of sexual abuse, who as a consequence was probably unable to feel any kind of sexual feeling in himself until Damen and might even be enormously terrified of sex, could just casually open up verbally about what he wants. Pacat makes it clear multiple times that Laurent gets turned on by Damen and has no idea how to deal with that vulnerability, when sex is tangled up in his mind with all that happened to him.

Damen literally double and triple checks as to what Laurent once and Laurent directly asks him for sex:

I just can’t see where people are getting this idea from.

I have also read that Damen ‘fantasises about Laurent as a slave’ as part of this but…he doesn’t.

In CP he acknowledges Laurent would fetch a fortune at a slave auction, which is a material reality in his culture.

Later in KR, he wishes Laurent’s body didn’t have to be extensively prepared each time and was more like a slave or a pet, because they have no oil as lubricant (he smashes an oil lamp to solve the issue). In PG he thinks about the fact that if he turned Laurent over to the nearest Akielon army, it would lead to Laurent being given not to Nikamdros but to him. However there is no elaboration at all on what that may entail. It’s very much a hmm that would change our power dynamic, and I actually think Damen is a little turned on by the thought that Laurent could be in that role but its made very clear in the text that Damen is not a rapist.

In this scene in particular, Damen sees his first time with Laurent as incredibly meaningful:

A moment he wishes to be “worthy of”. It’s an expression of love not violence.

So why do people think this then?

Damen doesn’t pick up on Laurent’s psychological state because he doesn’t know that Laurent knows he is Damianos the man who killed Auguste. He is being selfish by sleeping with him and taking what Laurent is giving him, yes, but he really does think this is his last night with Laurent and isn’t strong enough to resist his yearning for him.

Which still is all categorically not rape.

So again, where does this come from?

Well…I do think a lot of people read a little carelessly? I’ve done it sometimes, though maybe more rarely as someone with a background in literary study. Not everyone reads closely, not everyone remembers everything that happens in a book and they form some half-baked theories due to this.

But why misread this scene to that extent, where I’d go as far as to say that it stands in direct opposition to what Pacat intended and how the scene actually reads?

If you want my theory on it, I think many white readers (and non-white) have unconscious prejudices. The darker, muscular character evokes highly racist stereotypes of rape and assault; the fair, blond characters are the idealised objects of beauty and desire (who clearly need saving from dark men and their brutish sexuality 🙄).

I do think some people must surely be mapping these prejudices onto this scene and making it fit. It’s the only plausible reason I can think of.

I sometimes wonder whether some of the Auguste/Laurent shippers are people who want the fantasy of two blonds together. Like *ugh get that dark man away from Laurent*. I am not one to morally police the fiction people write and consume, I’m just saying the personal is the political and I can’t help but feel there might be some who think that…

So yeah that’s what I think! Hope that helps.

[crossroadsghost]

fargo s5 details i have noticed on rewatch:

-munch's differences in body language/behavior/violence around men vs around women is so pronounced and tangible when you pay attention. even when he's supposed to be helping abduct dot, he hands the hammer off to donald instead of wielding it himself, and the only time in the rest of those scenes he ever touches her is when she's at the bottom of the stairs and he goes to pick her up. he kills the guard outside roy's house, but doesn't lay a finger on karen or the twins when he goes into their room. i can't actually think of any time he's violent towards women.

-munch's blood type is mentioned to be O negative, which is universal donor. fitting for a sin eater to have blood that can be exchanged to save anyone.

-sam spruell has such long eyelashes

-at the scene where ole munch is waiting at the gas station to kill gator's partner, the final lyrics of "this is halloween" to play are "i am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red/i am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair." given the visual emphasis on ole's teeth and hands, i assume it's meant to be a comparison to him

-one of the street signs dot rearranges is named nylund circle. rose nylund from the golden girls is supposed to be from minnesota. whether it was intentional or not, it made me giggle.

-subtitles say ole munch's original name was bryn.

-the symbol on ole munch's chest during his ritual looks like the Peorð/ᛈ symbol from the elder futhark, a rune that has unknown meaning. the rest of the symbols shown are invented, so this could be a coincidence.

-"ring the door bell pretending to be trick or treaters and grab whoever answers" is literally how they catch santa in the nightmare before christmas movie. i'm still not sure what they were driving at with so many TNBC references in this season.

-there's gotta be a reason danish has one eye and lorraine's husband is named wink, but i don't know what that reason is.

-crack theory time: danish is wayne's real father. wink is so busy drinking and playing with models he would never notice. danish refers to wayne as slugger, and wayne refers to scotty as slugger, which implies something. it would also explain some of danish's emotional investment in the family and willingness to try to save dot with or without permission from lorraine--it's not only lorraine's feelings he cares about. and it's only after lorraine finds out that danish disappeared on the ranch that she decides to go full tilt against roy--she wasn't willing to go that far for dot, but she is for danish? maybe this isn't a crack theory at all actually.

-donald trump in the chat on roy's livestream lmao

-it feels like the dugout is meant to be a metaphor for . . . violence? trauma? manhood, patriarchy? okay i'm not exactly sure, but it's where munch performs the ritual, where witt dies, where gator has to pass through to get home and injures himself as he goes, it's where roy escapes to and says, "my destiny is at the other end of that tunnel." there's some significance to it.

-i don't adhere to the theory that the ending is a dream/delusion/afterlife/whatever, but if it is, i think it starts in the moment when the fbi rolls up on dot as she's about to kill roy, not in the backseat of the fbi vehicle. IF i supported this theory i would say they shot dot and killed her because she was holding the gun, and everything after is unreal. but i don't really support that theory to begin with, so eh.

-lorraine occupies the same metaphorical-and-literal narrative space as munch, of being a device of debts paid and owed, of use and abuse through the concept of debt, but she exists at the other end of the scale. she represents the eternal "ruling class" in both a literal and metaphorical sense, just as munch represents an eternal "oppressed class" in both a literal and metaphorical sense; he is forced to take on the debts of others because he's powerless, lorraine claims the debts of others to be empowered by them. i don't think we're meant to see her as a redeemed girlboss; she's supposed to be an implacable force of nature, and sometimes awful people like roy get swept up in that tide too, but that doesn't mean she's on anyone's side but her own. it's just that now she sees dot as "belonging" to her, and she protects what belongs to her.

-when they're praying at the dinner table and the prayer ends munch does not let go of dot's hand; she has to pull her hand away from his. thisisfine.jpg

-a charting of ole munch's life: we know he was born in wales, but uses a scandinavian name and mentions crossing the sea in longboats. vikings did know how to travel by water from scandinavia to greenland to canada, but they had basically stopped doing this completely by the 1500s; idk if we're meant to believe ole hitched a ride on an ill fated expedition or what, but technically they did know how to get there, they just had given up on attempting to colonize it, so the timeline is a little wonky there. regardless of that, the indigenous groups he mentions are the cree, arapaho and tonkawa, which were primarily in canada, colorado, and oklahoma, respectively. judging by this, he left wales and traveled north to adopt a new identity in scandinavia (sin eaters were treated as pariahs in their communities, so that's presumably why he left), then at some point sailed across to canada, then traveled west across canada, then south through colorado, then on to oklahoma. the tonkawa were forced south into texas in the 1700s, but then were relocated back to oklahoma later; during the civil war they were heavily massacred, so it could be that is what he's referring to when he talks about "the cannons and the muskets," but the timeline on when he actually lived with them is wobbly too. it's all kinda vague and the timeline is a little weird but not unfeasible.

-all throughout the final scenes, ole refuses to eat or drink anything the lyons give him- he doesn't actually drink either the orange soda or the beer wayne gives him, and when he's describing the "sins of the rich," he pushes his untouched plate of chili away without tasting it. like maybe he's convinced this is all a big trick; that the last time people brought him into their home and gave him a plate of food, it condemned him. ergo, the biscuit is more than just a gesture of forgiveness from dot; for him, taking a bite was also a gesture of trust in her. ow oof my heart.

[rivetgoth]

Yknow, I really enjoyed Bojack Horseman for awhile as a teenager. There are a handful of characters I super loved that I’m still pretty nostalgic over and who hold a place in my heart, especially Princess Carolyn who was my absolutely favorite.

I think the thing with Bojack though is it just really had a hard time balancing cynicism with. Anything else. I think it got stuck in this kinda self-pitying tone that they tried to pass off as “realism” but it just started to sound like whiny wallowing. Like, okay, we get it. These characters are traumatized, miserable, mentally ill, unstable, making bad choices, stuck in cycles of abuse and generational trauma and a shitty system that doesn’t care about them, nothing ever gets better and any glimmer of hope is false and life is nothing but feeling uncomfortable and fucking up and awkwardly reflecting on past traumas that you can’t escape. And like, man don’t get me wrong I enjoy “bleak” media that doesn’t pretend to have all the answers or offer some kind of solution or hope, but idk I feel like there is a limit when you’re writing a TV series, or any kind of series with a bunch of different parts, and there just feels like no growth happening, no real lessons learned or forward momentum that isn’t impeded by this constant backdrop of awareness that somebody is going to fuck up again and restart the cycle of self-depreciating cynicism under the guise of “realism.”

But that being said, I think what’s disappointing to me is that I do feel like Bojack really excelled at this kind of nonlinear or experimental writing that actually felt really cool and innovative at its peak. The episode where Bojack goes on that huge drug bender and keeps losing time and coming to at random locations and things get increasingly erratic and fucked up was one of my absolute FAVORITES, or the one that’s told through the POV of Bojack’s dying mom with dementia and she’s kinda reminiscing on her past in this disorganized nonlinear way, or the episode that’s told by Princess Carolyn’s future great grandchild, or the one where the entire runtime is Bojack’s eulogy to his mom, or the one where Bojack is underwater and trying to chase after a baby seahorse and it’s like entirely silent with these huge surreal underwater landscapes. Those episodes totally felt standout and TBH I haven’t really seen anything like them in other series. It feels almost like some weird dissonance that a show that seemed to fall so hard on unimaginative cynicism could capture these kinda odd inventive forms of creative writing so successfully?

[morifinwes]

wangxian fic rec list!

aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!

modern

wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)

Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.

Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.

Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.

between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)

☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die

Bluetooth: no.

"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.

resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)

In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.

It goes about as well as can be expected.

drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)

"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."

OR

Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.

the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)

Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…

“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.

leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)

The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.

Wei Ying has no marks at all.

public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)

Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.

Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.

AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))

The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.

Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.

axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.

Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.

The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."

"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"

"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.

"Okay and…?"

"With someone else." The slurping resumed.

Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.

these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)

When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.

 

But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.

 

(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)

good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)

Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.

 

“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.

Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.

wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)

“A ring?”

And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.

“You swallowed it.”

“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”

of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)

Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.

of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)

For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it

canon setting

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)

Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.

Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.

lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)

Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)

Times change, but some people remain the same.

The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.

For one of their own, they will stand against the world.

Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.

so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)

Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.

Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.

Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

 

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

[no-psi-nan]

Okay it's mean to only pick on Kaido so...

Ways Akechi would entertain himself at the expense of Saiki's friends

Saiki: Actually they're besties so I think Akechi would try to reduce the volume of his own thoughts temporarily to be able to send mental messages at Saiki and hold conversations during class. Saiki allows it because he actually gets good grades and is less likely to talk about boobs.

Kaido: Made a post about this one already. Sorry buddy, but you already exhibit several highly entertaining behaviors and have very poor observational skills. Training you to do this on command is barely unethical considering that you do this all the time at your own expense...

Hairo: Akechi shows up at sports practices to cheerfully suggest water and rest breaks at appropriate intervals. He's trying to find out if he can get the class to unionize against Hairo's extreme athleticism. Hairo hates this but can't actually do anything about it and sulkily hydrates and rests with the others. This is technically a good deed on Akechi's part.

Teruhashi: Offu... Umm... Uh... Well, you see... Ah... Hehe... Ummmm... The thing is... Ahaha...

Toritsuka: He'll provide mean and accurate commentary on what the girls around them currently think of Toritsuka. He'll immediately expose or mess up any attempts at pervert crimes and looms ominously if Toritsuka looks like he might actually try to complain. Toritsuka's only saving grace is that Akechi is likely curious about ghosts and will refrain from bullying him if he's sufficiently entertained by ghost stories and facts. But he'd better not try to invent anything...

Aiura: Akechi reflects light from the window at the crystal ball on her desk in such a way that it flashes light across her face to annoy her. He has to be strategic about it though because if he annoys her enough, she'll go sit on top of his desk and try to explain her powers to him. He can't escape because of his own curiosity but valley girl quantum mechanics hurts his brain.

Kuboyasu: Akechi remembers how he almost got decked in the cafeteria. He'll mostly play it safe. Though if Akechi sees any other punk types causing trouble in what he considers to be his territory, he'll make sure to discreetly bring it up to Kuboyasu's attention and let his natural blood-thirst take its course. Sure, he could tell Saiki, but people who annoy Saiki tend to come back. People who annoy Kuboyasu don't.

Mera: Okay, Mera has enough problems and she's badass as hell. Akechi is impressed by her appetite and go-getter attitude. If he catches wind of one of her employers trying to take advantage of her, he goes Nuclear Karen on their ass.

Chiyo: Honestly she's too easy to mess with. Akechi tends to forget she exists. Though if she's blatantly thirst-stalking, I can see Akechi sidling up and being like "HEY WHAT'RE YOU UP TO, YUMEHARA-SAN?" just to embarrass the hell out of her. She'll try to scold him for it, but by the time she's done panicking about being caught stalking, he'll be long gone and when she brings it up later, he just pretends he has no idea what she's talking about or acts surprised like "wow you were really stalking that guy??".

Saiko: Akechi's never had a direct shot at the oligarchy, so he's going to have a blast now! He likes to drop capitalism #fun-facts like how many of Saiko's luxury goods involve conflict minerals and human rights abuses. He spaces these out enough that Saiko isn't totally bummed out by despair and has time to try to address these things. In between harsh truths, Akechi will probably have fun engaging him in conversation actually, Saiko is pretty fucking funny. He'll also casually drop mentions of Saiko's secret bodyguards or security measures just to establish that he knows everything, all the time. Scares the hell out of Saiko's staff but also he got them all raises so...

Nendo: Nendo perplexes Akechi. Akechi can't understand him and even Saiki doesn't understand him either. He doesn't try to mess with Nendo.

[the-awful-falafel]

Am i the only one who doesn‘t see why people say Morty was so degraded as a character 😅 i mean sure the „i refuse to do that i‘m just desperate to get back together“ line was dumb, but it was just a joke, Rick literally explained it was basically Morty‘s midlife crisis talking: as soon as he‘s 14 again he would be less codependent and that‘s exactly what happened. He started setting boundaries and telling Rick he won‘t be with him anymore if he‘s not honest with him. Him supporting and forgiving Rick for now because he has a lot of empathy is in character for him but it does not and should not mean every bad thing Rick has done is just forgotten and that Morty is fully reset and healed. And despite the writers commentary, I really do think that they know this, I don‘t think this is an indication of Morty‘s character growth being tossed out. He‘s still going to snap eventually and Rick will still be held accountable. Nothing that happened made me think otherwise, it‘ll all happen in time. I can‘t see them just glossing over fucked up things like the vat of acid

Not really sure about everyone else's reasons, but the reason I felt like Morty got degraded/done dirty is mostly due to how needy, dependent, and clingy he was written towards Rick in the S5E10 opener (not even really the midlife crisis thing, which I know was just a joke, but more just in general), in a way that felt downright disturbing considering his solo development the rest of this season. At bare minimum they should have given Morty a few more weeks before he missed Rick enough to try and mend things with him (because I agree with you, he's forgiving enough to at least try, but he shouldn't be so forgiving he's going to grovel over it like he did here). Show him enjoying his own solo adventures with Rick's portal gun, going to school like a normal kid, surviving by himself, just something that doesn't imply that he's doomed to fall to pieces without Rick around. Like... when was Morty being desperate/needy enough for Rick's company that he'd attempt to emotionally blackmail Rick into coming back ever built up as part of his character? If it's due to the fact that Rick was the one who unexpectedly owned up to his abuse and left (which I acknowledge could change Morty's reaction), why did Morty's characterization still feel so exaggerated and specifically designed to shit all over the independence that they've been exploring in his character up to this point, and implicitly justify both his codependent relationship with Rick and the continuation of the status quo?

It also felt like the finale wasn't really respecting the sheer extent of Morty's abuse when it came time to address it in S5E9, which is bizarre since it was meant to be the episode where his and Rick's conflict reached a fever pitch and they split apart, so you'd think the core problems would be addressed... more clearly? Instead, it muddled their relationship as a weird, both-sidesing "okay but what if they BOTH had a lot to learn" allegory while also giving Rick a complete softball in his culpability by having him be the one to realize that their relationship is toxic (in a super broad way that noticeably didn't bring up any specific abuse he had done to Morty), therefore he must leave with the crows and inadvertently deny Morty (or the narrative) the opportunity to truly hold him accountable for anything. And even that character development on Rick's part gets regressed barely a few minutes into the next episode, but since Morty missed him so much, Rick doesn't have to do anything else besides the bare minimum to earn forgiveness! Status quo restored, hooray!

Yes, I know they tried to show it's not a complete regression since Morty is setting boundaries and stuff, saying stuff like "I don't want to do this anymore if you're not honest", but it came off as... rather weak to me, tbh. Not only was the buildup unearned, it didn't sound that different to how Morty tried to set boundaries and "invent honesty" in season 4, and that didn't hold up in the long run, either. Rick has always caved to a certain degree of Morty's wishes/nagging, even from the earliest seasons, so it's how he handles Morty's outright defiance to his ego/control over the relationship that is much more revealing about him as a person (like in Morty's Mindblowers and Vat of Acid). Rick being somewhat nicer to Morty in these episodes just doesn't feel like a significant enough improvement to justify how quickly the narrative forced them back together. Morty's forgiving nature felt uncomfortably utilized, too, like they were simultaneously acknowledging it as a fucked up trait "bred" into him to facilitate Rick's abuse, but also trying to have it both ways by painting his unconditional forgiveness of Rick as the first step in Rick realizing his mistakes and the two of them working to become true partners. If that was what they were going for, I'm sorry, but they executed it very, very poorly and left a lot of harmful implications with how it ends up framing abusive relationships in the process.

Like, the way they wrote it, I don't get the impression this is the start of Rick and Morty's relationship improving at all. I get the impression this is the start of them pretending their relationship is improving (and maybe genuinely trying for a while) but more and more of the fucked up stuff gets brushed under the rug and they start falling into the exact same patterns as before once "honesty" and "respect" stop working, because abuse built on such a one-sided inescapable power dynamic isn't fixed just by deciding to be nicer to each other.

If this discomfort is intentional, if they're planning on this "equal partnership" thing to eventually crash and burn since it's built on such an unbalanced, consequence-free foundation, bringing the conflict to a head in a later season in a way that respects our Morty's growth and finally holds Rick accountable in a way he can't depend on his victims' forgiveness to get out of, I'd... still view these episodes as ultimately a regressive cop-out, but I'd be slightly more tolerant of it, at least, since it would feel more intentional? The finale's excellent characterization of Evil Morty and how he called out Rick's abuse without much pushback indicates some self-awareness at least, so I'd like to have some faith this will be handled better in the future, but the behind-the-scenes writer commentaries are... very worrisome. I guess I'll have to wait and see what they do in Season 6 onward, but how they handled this particular conflict will probably leave a bad taste in my mouth for a while.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 8 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

A/N: I don't know if anyone got confused, I noticed it late, lol, but the actress that I take as Lily's reference will always be Mackenzie foy, Lily Collins is Jessica. Ok enjoy -Val

Warnings: panic attack, child abuse.

Words: 2, 944

Masterlist:

Chapter 7 / Chapter 9

"Please, answer,” Jess groans, her phone against her ear and with the emergency number sheet in her other hand.

"Who is it and why do you have my number?" Tony answers.

“Mr. Stark,” She sighs. “Thank God! I'm Jessica, Lily's babysitter,” Tony frowns when he hears the girl.

"What's going on?" He checks the clock in his room, calculating the time difference. It should be one in the morning there.

“I'm not sure, sir— We were sleeping and I heard her screaming. I-I thought she was having a nightmare,” She stops, controlling her breathing. “She was sweating and screaming. I tried to help her, but she ran away and—”

"Okay, you have to breathe. Where’s Lily?"

"She went down to the workshop, J.A.R.V.I.S won't let me in and says that her temperature is very high.”

Tony sighs, since Lily told him about the nightmares, he’d never been around and now he thinks that maybe their argument has something to do with it.

"Okay. Go to the workshop and put me on speaker.”

Jess takes the phone and obeys.

“Done."

"J.A.R.V.I.S, grant access to..."

“Jessica,” She adds.

"Access conceived,” answers the AI.

Jessica opens the door and is about to look for Lily, but Tony's voice stops her.

"Find her, leave the phone near her and get out of there.”

"What? What if she needs medical help?" She says deactivating the speaker. "Sir, something else happened when I tried to touch her, I’m afraid she’s hurt…”

"Trust me, she's not," He answers, seeing another small screen that is holding in his hand, projecting the girl's vital signs. "Do it.”

Tony hears movement. Jess sees the bulge under one of the cars and puts the phone on the ground, activates the speaker, and walks away from her.

"Kid?"

Lily knew Jess had found her, but hearing her father's voice makes her jump. She slowly turns around looking at the phone on the floor.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend you're listening to me,” He sits on the bed. "A nightmare, huh? I thought you hadn't had one for a long time,” He waits a few seconds, but gets no response.

Lily hugs her legs tighter. Tony sighs.

"Kid, come on, tell me something. Shows signs of life. I just want to help you…”

"I hurt her,” She says in a small voice.

"What?"

"I hurt Jess,” She says louder.

"It was not your intention, kid,” Tony answers.

“But I still did. I didn't want to, I'm sorry,” She says between sobs. Tony closes his eyes not knowing what to do. He’s about to call Pepper, but he remembers how stressed she has been since they arrived.

“It wasn't my intention. I didn't want to hurt anyone. It was the same with my mother and she left me. I don't want Jess to leave me,” She continues. She feels a strong pain in her chest.

"She won't go away—”

“You don't know that. She was scared. She has blisters and her hand was all red,” She cries. “I’m a monster!”

“Okay, this is what we’ll do, Lily. Where are you?”

"What?"

"Tell me where you are.”

"Under the blue car,” She frowns.

Tony ignores the fear that runs through his body with the possibility that the car might react badly to the high temperature.

"Get out of there. I need to hear you better.”

"I dont want to go outside…”

“Do what I tell you, please. I know what’s happening to you and it’s better if you get out of there.”

She obeys, grabs the phone with her shaking hands as she leans on one of the car's tires.

"And now?"

“I want you to do exactly what I tell you. Can do it?"

"I don’t know.”

“Yes you can, come on. You’ll breathe with me, it's simple. When I tell you one, inhale, and two, exhale slowly. We’ll do it together.”

"I don’t think that-"

“One," Tony interrupts and inhales making an exaggerated noise so that Lily knows what he's doing. There's no other option but to imitate it. “Two…”

They did so five more times. The pain in the girl's chest subsides and her shoulders relax.

“You're better?"

"Yes," She answers hoarsely.

"Okay. The nightmare. Do you wanna tell me?"

She bites the inside of her cheek and hugs her legs again.

“You'll feel better if you tell me.”

"How do you know?" She frowns.

"It has happened to me.”

"When?"

"When my parents— that's not important,” He checks his watch. He knows that Pepper is about to come in to urge him about dinner, lunch, or whatever they have planned.

Lily sighs.

“I was in a white room,” She says slowly. “I had a straitjacket, like the one they put on crazy people in the movies. No one was coming for me and I tried to scream, but I-I wanted to use my hands, nothing worked… You weren't there to help, or Happy, or Pepper, or Rhodey. I was alone…”

‘Why can’t she have nightmares about normal monsters in her closet…’ Tony thinks.

“Why aren’t you here?" Lily sobs. Tony feels an emptiness in his chest, he’d never felt that way before.

“Maybe you can't see me, Flower. But I’m there. I’m listening to you.”

"But I want to see you. I… I miss you, daddy."

"I miss you too, Flower,” He sighs. “I'm sorry for what I told you before I left. I wish you were here. At least it’d be more fun. I'm sick of hearing people ask me about the suit. One of them asked me why I’d chosen those colors as if they were the worst choice!”

"I chose them!” She answers offended. Tony smiles.

"I know. I like it like that.”

“Well, you could make another one blue. I also like blue,” She comments, looking at the other armor prototypes that are in the back of the workshop.

Tony can't help laughing.

"I'll think about it," He clears his throat. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes, but,” She wipes her nose. "What will happen to Jess? I don't want another babysitter.”

“I'll talk to her, but I can assure you that she’s more concerned about you than she is about herself.”

"Really?"

"She called me.”

Tony's bedroom door opens, but before Pepper can say anything to him, Tony points to the phone, gets out of bed, and walks away from the redhead.

“Dad?"

"Yes, Flower?" He says remarking the words for Pepper to understand. The redhead frowns.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you before you left. I just wanted to spend more time with you…”

"I understand, but you know that we can’t risk it.”

“Okay…”

"Hey, I have to go. Pepper's face is redder than my armor.”

For the first time in all that time, Lily laughs.

"It's fine.”

"See ya ', kiddo.”

"Goodbye, Dad.”

Lily hangs up. She hears footsteps approaching.

"Hi," Jess says sitting across from her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you,” whispers the girl.

"Are you okay?" Jess asks.

"I'm better.”

"Do you want to go up?"

"Won't you go? Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Why would I be afraid of my friend?”

"I hurt you.”

"It was not on purpose.”

“B-but it's not normal. You only touched me…”

“Yes, it’s rare, but it’s still an accident. I'm not going anywhere, Lily.”

Lily still doesn't understand why Jess is so calm, but she's too tired to keep asking. She just nods.

"Do you want to go up?" She asks, offering her good hand.

They both go back up to Lily's room.

"Can you sleep with me?" The girl asks.

“Sure."

They prepare the bed, but a call on Jess's cell phone interrupts. Mr. Stark.

"I'll be right back…”

Jess leaves the room and walks as far away as possible.

"Should I ask the same as the girl?”

"How is it possible that such a little girl suffers so much?"

“I'm not sure yet, but it has happened before. Now, do I have to hire another babysitter?"

"Will you tell me what’s wrong with her?"

"What would you do with that information?" Jess rolls her eyes.

"I just want to help her.”

Tony sighs.

"She was born with something strange and bad people wanted to take advantage of it.”

“So what she dreamed… It is a memory?"

"Did you hear it?"

“She screamed before she woke up. She begged not to be hurt.”

"Yes, they’re memories.”

Jess bites her lower lip. She turns over her shoulder to make sure Lily isn't listening.

"I have a theory.”

"I don't have much time, speak up.”

“Miss Potts warned me a bit about the nightmares, but I understand that they hadn't happened for a long time. Did you and Lily argue at other times before?”

"I don’t think so.”

“Don’t you think that the nightmares return when she doesn't feel the security that you give her? By not being home and knowing that you’re upset. They also told me that her mother abandoned her, fear makes her memories return.”

Tony doesn't respond for a few seconds.

"What degree are you studying?"

“Psychology."

Makes sense. I don't know, Miss Adams. But I’ll take it into account.”

“Okay, sir.”

***

After Mr. Stark explained a bit about what really happened, Jess felt scared, but not for her. The brunette had witnessed the very agony in the body of a little girl. She’s never lied by saying that she just wants to help her. She’ll never abandon Lily.

"Do you want to see a movie?" She asks from across the kitchen table.

"I have to do homework,” replies Lily scratching her eye wearily.

"I think you deserve a break.”

“Maybe…”

"Mr. Stark is in the news," reports J.A.R.V.I.S.

They both know what it means. Scandal. They run into the living room and turn on the television.

"Oh no…” says Lily.

She doesn't know what surprises her the most, her father driving a race car or the man with two energy whips trying to hurt him. Although her father got the Iron Man armor in time and was able to contain the villain, Lily knows that something else is going on and the comments from others don’t help. They all allude to Tony's opinión that the new technology that he invented no one else would have for a long time, and now an unknown man has succeeded.

***

Lily turns when someone knocks on her bedroom door. She smiles when she sees the colonel.

"Uncle Rhodey!" She squeals and runs to hug him. The man receives the hug with a smile.

"I hope you always receive me like this, Lily.”

"I can do it,” She replies as they part.

Rhodes sees the room now painted sky blue, some paintings as decoration, with each color and furniture it’s quite obvious that Lily was the one who chose everything, especially noting the vibrant colors that don’t match the rest.

"I like what you did with your room.”

"Thanks. Look!” She takes his hand and leads him to her desk. "I found a video of how to make the Iron Man reactor shape out of cardboard," She explains, pointing to the process.

Rhodes laughs heartily. It’s not the most accurate model in the world, but it is really impressive that Lily is already so detailed in her creations.

"Will you give it to Tony on his birthday?"

She nods. "Do you think he’ll like it?"

"I'm sure. This is pretty good,” He agrees. "How are you doing in school?"

"Good. It's kind of boring, but my teachers seem to have fun when I understand things quickly,” She shrugs.

"You should be happy too.”

"I guess, but… I don't know."

Rhodes frowns.

"I know that face, it's the same as Tony does. What's wrong?"

She turns to face him.

“I want to do more things, but everyone says I can't. Everything is dangerous or someone else can see me. I feel like those dolls trapped in a toy house.”

Rhodes sighs.

"I wish I could have a better answer,” He crouches down to look at her. “But all I can tell you is that it’ll be better once you’re older. I'm sure we'll have better options,” Lily seems disappointed with his words. The man makes a face. Then he comes up with something. “How about I talk to your father to start a little self-defense class? Do you remember the movies we saw?"

"That would be great!" She says smiling.

For James Rhodes, this made sense. He knows that Lily is still very young, but he also knows that Tony's world is very unpredictable, especially with what happened in Monaco. It would be a great opportunity for her to at least know how to defend herself.

"Well, I'll talk to him,” He says getting up.

“Oh, tell him that Natalie can teach me something! She promised!”

He looks at her confused, but doesn't take it too seriously.

“Okay… Do you know where your father is?"

"In the workshop, I'll take you,” She takes Rhodes's hand and they both walk towards the stairs of the workshop, but a corridor before Jarvis interrupts.

"Incoming call for Miss Stark.”

"Kid, I need you to do me a favor,” Tony’s voice says.

"What's going on?" She asks releasing Rhodes's hand.

"Do you remember the little screen I have to play with?" Although the last use of it was to infiltrate Senate screens, she usually uses it to play games.

“Aha..”

“It’s in my room. I want you to bring it.”

"Why don't you go get it?" Rhodes intervenes, annoyed.

"I'm busy— Wait, how long have you been here, Rhodey?"

"We need to talk.”

“I don't like that tone. Kid?"

"I'm coming!”

The girl goes to look for the screen while Rhodey follows the path to the workshop, ignoring Natalie's warning when he passes by the room where she’s with Pepper.

Rhodes walks into the shop, finding Tony looking at his projector for some files on him while he's sitting in one of his cars.

“Tony, you gotta get upstairs and get on top of this situation right now. And what’s that about, sending Lily to look for your toys?"

Tony doesn't respond, further exasperating the colonel.

“Listen. I've been on the puts with the National Guard on the day, trying to talk them out of rolling tanks up the PCH, knocking down your front door and taking these,” He says, pointing to the other armor prototypes. “They’re gonna take your suits, Tony. Okay? They’re sick of the games. You said nobody else would possess this technology for 20 years. Well, guess what? Somebody else had it yesterday.”

He walks towards him.

“It’s not theoretical anymore. And now can you imagine how all this would affect Lily? If the National Guard or anyone else in the government finds out about her, they’ll take her away without hesitation and they’ll all be against you. All this time you've kept her locked up, but you don't mind acting in a way that could affect her in the future.”

He stops at the side of the car.

“Are you listening to me?" He grabs his arm to get his attention. Tony is pale and tired. "Are you Okay?"

"Let's go,” answers Tony getting out of the car, but when he closes the door, he loses strength and almost falls to the ground. Rhodes helps him by holding him up.

"You all right?" He asks worried.

"Yeah, I should get to my desk,” They both walk with difficulty. "See that cigar box?" Rhodes nods. "It's palladium,” The colonel puts him on a chair and opens the box, revealing small blocks of material.

Tony pulls the reactor out of his chest and opens it, causing a block of Palladium to come out with some smoke.

"Is that supposed to be smoking?"

“If you must know, it's neutron damage. It's from the reactor wall,” explains Tony. Rhodes helps him switch blocks.

"You had this in your body?" Tony turns around. "And how about the high-tech crossword puzzle on your neck?" He points out.

"Road rash,” Tony puts the reactor back on as Rhodey watches him. "What are you looking at?"

"I'm looking at you. You wanna do this whole lone gunslinger act and it's unnecessary. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“You know, I wish I could believe that. I really do. But you've gotta trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I'm doing."

"And what about Lily?" Rhodes asks. "Are you also hiding all this from her or what excuse do you give her?" He says thinking that Lily notices many details, especially about her father.

“Makeup isn't just for women, Rhodes. Update yourself, and she doesn't know about the Palladium, she doesn't need to know.”

"Will you hide everything she shouldn't know from her?"

“It's called protection. Something that you’ve asked me to do for her many times.”

"I don't think that lying is the solution.”

Tony rolls his eyes.

"Miss Stark is coming, sir," Jarvis warns.

Rhodes now understands Tony's request for the toy.

Someone enters the code to enter. Both men are silent. Tony hides the cigar box. Lily runs up to him and gives him the screen.

“Your room is messier than mine. It took me centuries to find it,” She complains.

"Thanks, kid.”

Lily watches Rhodes.

"What were you talking about?" She says tilting her head a little towards the colonel. Rhodey remembers his promise. He smiles.

"We haven't talked about your stuff yet, Lily.”

"What did I miss?" Tony asks.

"I think it's a good idea for Lily to take self-defense classes."

"With Natalie,” adds the girl.

Tony sighs.

Taglist:

@silenthappyplace @yourbonesareinmybody @aylauwuuniverse    @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs @heavenlymistakes @my-love-of-books @dielgonacoffee

[werezmastarbucks]

xenia

honeymoon masterlist

word count: 2851

warnings: mentions of parental abuse

music: damsel in distress by neck deep, beautiful stranger by halsey

You did shots that night.

Xenia has been one of the stops on your ridiculously meticulous search through Ohio. One mention that one of Kai’s grandmothers might be buried here somewhere, and that she was a siphoner, too, which is a rare, and you stopped in Xenia, digging up every inch of the earth.

In fact, at some point, as you lived on in this weird world, systematic search has grown into a kind of manic entertainment.

You took everything to extremes. Searching for the grave, that might have answers and magical solutions, you basically unearthed the whole cemetery, because Kai said that maybe somebody wanted to hide his nana’s body, because she was a shameful accident, being a siphoner and all that. And that random guess got stuck in your heads, turning you into paranoid diggers. Really, you were just keeping yourselves busy. Doing the things you would never normally do in your usual life. Why would you walk around a town, digging the ground randomly, and putting so much effort in it? After a couple of days of incredible stamina fueled work, Xenia looked like it’s been ravaged by gigantic moles. Then Parker remembered. She has never been to Xenia, she lived, and died in Cincinnati.

And that’s why you were doing shots.

You invented a reverse never have I ever game which was called nobody has ever. The point was to think of all the things other people never did for you, and the luckier one had to drink, but obviously, pretty soon the game turned dark.

You found this nice house on the Creek Green Street that overlooked an old alley with a post office that must have been about sevety years old. You wondered how it survived the tornado.

The kitchen was big, and the table, square and made of very thick, nice looking wood, consumed the soft golden lights of the evening. Although your shoulders were hurting you almost to the point of whining, since no matter how many days you dug, your body wouldn’t get stronger, you made a salad. Kai cooked up a myriad of snacks, and they were all piling up on the table in a colorful, tasty mess. It felt like you were both drunk from work and the absurdity of your chore even before you opened up the bottle.

“Nobody has ever”, he said, narrowing his eyes, “hit me in the throat with a tennis ball”.

You shook your head slowly. The shots rested on the table. You were leaning against the table, one foot under you, and listened to music and your joints singing the mournful song of pain. Kai was rubbing his chin musingly. Days in Xenia were very warm - unlike in all other towns. That was amazing to you. Without the people, and the hurry, you could concentrate on the world itself and actually found every location had its own smell, temperature, color. Once you got out, you’d never be the same.

“Nobody has ever cut my hair while I was sleeping”.

Kai nodded responsibly and downed his shot. You raised your brows.

“Oh, I was way too agitated, and never liked scissors near my face. Mom always cut my hair while I was asleep. I was ugly when I was little. One more reason”, he shrugged, “to be hating on lil Malachai”.

You hummed.

“Nobody has ever said they loved me”, he continued, gravely.

Air got stuck in your throat.

You swayed in your place.

“Come on. Not ever?”

“Nah”.

You took your shot and thought, who actually said that to you, except your mother. People usually said it in a friendly way. You couldn’t count how many times Elena said she loved you, and it didn’t mean much at the end of the day.

“Not even in a casual way, like, oh my god, you like Metallica, too? I love you!”

Kai chuckled.

“I don’t like Metallica”.

“Jesus. Okay. You wanna go hardcore. Nobody has ever chose me over everything and everybody else”, you offered.

Kai smirked and took his shot, and then reached for the bottle again.

“How? How come? And they never said they love you? Who?”

“I have learnt to manipulate people into choosing me over everything else. That’s how I keep sane, ha”, he noted. You frowned.

“Who was it?”

He looked at you with surprise.

“You. You chose me over everything else in your life when you decided to spend an eternity here with me. That was pretty nice of you. Cheers”, and he drunk again, forgetting he had already done his shot. You could feel the blood flowing to your face.

“I did it because I thought Damon would stop. I didn’t expect him to send me here”.

Kai shrugged, as if saying, it wasn’t really his problem Damon was a piece of shit.

“And why did you mainpulate me into it?”

Bold of him to assume he had manipulated you into liking him, but his way of thinking is different.

“Because I like you. I wanted you to stick with me. You’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel like a burden”, he replied with a lot of importance. He was a little tipsy.

You sighed heavily.

“Nobody has ever buried me under the ground in a drain pipe”, he ogled.

“Mm-hmm”.

He grinned as you drank.

“By the way, after that, when I made a scene (because I was sixteen) about Damon not killing the love of his life over me, Katherine called me a delusional teenager. God I hate that bitch”.

“Katherine Pierce never infuriated me because I never met her”, he put it.

“It’s not your turn”, but you drank anyway, “Nobody has ever called me an abomination”.

He saluted you with his shot.

“Nobody has ever made me his door boy”.

Shot.

“Nobody has ever took away my natural right of being the leader of my coven”.

Shot.

Your right shoulder stang you with annoying pain, and you glanced at the clock. Midnight would come in a couple of minutes. You always started drinking just before midnight because the change of the day brought you back to sobriety, and you could go on and drink the same amount again without feeling bad in the morning.

As the midnight struck, you suddenly found yourself sitting so close to Kai your foreheads were touching.

You both straightened up and looked at the time. He stretched his neck.

“Were we drunk-confessing our mutual respect for each other?” you asked.

“Think so”, he pulled a bowl of salad to himself and started eating, without forgetting to fill the shots again.

“Happy birthday”.

You clincked your tiny glasses together, and the game went on.

“Nobody has ever cooked for me”, he said.

You downed your shot thinking about how fabulous it is, to have your own chef who is also in love with you.

At the same second, you wondered if he has ever thought about poisoning you, just for the sake of it.

“I have hard time believing it. You’ve made it to twenty-two, which meant your parents cooked for you”.

“We had lots of kids in the house. We always had to eat all together”, Kai shook his head, “if you were late to the table, you had to starve. Besides, I started cooking for myself pretty early”.

“Okay. Nobody has ever locked me up in the basement”.

He was so good at this game, taking his losing drinks like a champ, like a very diligent student. As his adam’s apple went down, you gasped.

“Oh, wait. Spit it out! Spit it out. I recalled. I’ve been locked up in basements plenty of times, it was just... more like... a dungeon”.

“In the Salvatore house?” he asked, displeased.

“Yeah. And once, in the Lockwood mansion. Damon was raging then. We got stuck and...”

“Whatever”.

You licked your lips and shut up, seeing the familiar irritated spark in his eyes. Kai hated Damon at this point; for sending him away; for being not his type of person; but most importantly, for the fact you still lingered on the memories of him.

Gradually, you started running out of ideas, drunk again, and it was barely past one in the morning.

Kai at least was constantly eating, while you just drank, so you now had a hard time focusing on one thing, your thoughts drifting apart like ripples on the water. You looked at his white wrists, his knees hopping lightly as he bounced to the music, and tried to think of something.

“Nobody has ever... ever...” you puffed. Kai smiled. “Ever stood over me at night, watching me sleep”.

“Yes, I have”.

You didn’t get it at first.

“What?”

“I have”, he repeated.

“Oh, you mean... of course, I mean, back in the outer world”.

He nodded, like it was just a tiny misunderstanding about the size of a cheesburger he’s ordering.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I was in your house at night before we got here”.

“What?!” you snapped.

All your body moved you towards him to slap him on the head, but out of instinct, the unkillable, fundamental instinct that kicked in when he was around, you took his head, let your palms slide down to his neck, as you hugged him.

“Kai, why would you do that?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted to see what you look like when you’re not around me”, he said simply. You could feel his mouth moving against your hair close to your ear. “What you look like when you stare at yourself in the mirror. What you do when nobody’s watching”.

You shut your eyes with embarrassment, your brain trying to recall all the things you did alone back in your house one hundred years ago.

“Oh god...”

“What you smell like when you’re just out of shower. You know, stuff like that”.

“God, this is so embarrassing”.

He laughed out with amusement.

You pulled away and took his head, covering his ears with your plams. His face swayed in front of you a little, as you muttered,

“You have to promise me something, Parker”.

“Okay”, he said carefully.

He could’ve said, of course! because you knew him. You knew how he pretends to be this enthusiastic person. Who is only serving you. But he was real right then, at that moment, looking you in your drunk eye, really considering what you’re about to ask. He could’ve said of course! and not mean it. But he said okay, ruffling up like a ferret, and you loved him at that moment.

“Once we get out, don’t stalk other girls”.

His face moved with laughter he contained inside.

“Why would I do that?”

You thought of that wretched universe full of good-looking girls, and all their different shapes and colors, the way they smell and how gracious they are, and felt scared of losing him for the first time.

“They’re all so pretty, and I... just don’t. Do whatever you can to...”

“You don’t think you’re pretty?” he asked in his are you dumb tone. “You’re a solid eight”.

You have lived enough to feel all kinds of wonders when intoxicated. You’ve sang, blacked out, stumbled, yelled, fought and slept when drunk, and now the very logical reaction followed, which you have also experienced many times.

You started sobbing.

“Eight”, you put your hand to your face, cradling yourself, and consoling yourself immediately.

Kai’s face went almost pale with shock. Then he started giggling uncontrollably, reaching his arms for you.

“I’m joking! Hey, I’m joking”.

He couldn’t start laughing.

“What are you upset about? I’m just fooling with you”.

“I’ve always been an eight!” you cried out, suddenly.

“For your information, eight is fantastic!”

“Katherine has always been a ten”, you finished solemnly, drowning in the pleasure of digging into your deepest wells of insecurity.

Kai froze.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking about Damon right now. I swear to fuck, I’ll break your neck”.

You tilted your head miserably, letting the tears stream down your face in a dramatic fashion.

“Aaaahhh”.

“Y/N...”

“Damon has made me think that I’m a fool for ever thinking somebody can be into me”, you said quietly. You could feel his hand on the base of your neck. As your hot tears dripped down, heating the perfume on your skin, his grab tightened lightly. He didn’t know how to hold tenderly, it was always half-clutching with Kai. With time, you came to realize it was so reassuring you felt the safest when his hands were around your throat. Whether it was playful or menacing depended on his mood.

“Let me rain on your self-pitying parade”, he murmured, “okay? My parents made me think I didn’t deserve to breathe even. Pretty natural, don’t you think? Everyone has their right to have air in their lungs”.

You looked at him. Kai was being serious. You wiped your cheek with the back of your hand, and his face softened a little.

“But my dad decided I wasn’t worth even that”.

“What are you saying?”

“Once I was sitting in the bath, when I was about five. That was the time you start getting your magic and learn how to control it. That was the time the whole coven found out I don’t have it. That Jo is useless, too, because I’m a siphoner. So one night, when I was in the bath”, he repeated, like he was trying to hypnotize you, “he came in, and...” he looked away, blinking several times. “I remember, he was wearing this dark green shirt. Green is the color of the coven. He held my head under water”.

There was a short break between two songs, and when the next one came in, blasting sounds, you shivered uncomfortably.

“He decided he’d spare himself and everybody else the headache. That’s why I don’t like water much and barely ever go near it. And now you taught me how to swim”.

“How did you survive?” you whispered.

“My mom barged in and pulled him away. I don’t know how she knew. Maybe it was her motherly instinct. She used to have that one for me long time ago”.

The tears welled up on you, pressure pushing on the sides of your skull. You took him, kissing his face, kissing his mouth, as Kai leaned in, quiet, and just let you dote on him. You held him tight, trying to kiss the memories out, begging him to forget.

“I’m okay. Hey, I’m fine. It was a long time ago, and he’s dead. And I’m alive. And I have you”.

You were so drunk, falling apart at the seams like a badly sewn jacket, that he had to hold you so that you didn’t fall off the chair. Hangover was guaranteed.

“Let’s just go... let’s go to bed”, you whispered, your face against his. “You can do whatever you want”.

Kai smiled. His eyes glinted in a familiar way. This kitchen, the house, it all grew on you. The way he held you, you didn’t even know if your feet touched the floor.

“Whatever I want?” he asked.

“Whatever you want”, you echoed.

He put your body onto the couch, and you could feel he moves your limbs a little, and then the weight of his body was next to you.

Fifteen minutes later, you pulled the covers down, and turned towards the light, and saw the TV shining through the blackness of the room.

Kai was watching Lethal Weapon on VHS and cuddling against you.

You inhaled, feeling he room spinning. The light stang your eyes, so you rolled back away and pressed your face into him, into the darkness.

The next time you woke up it was already dark.

You moved a little just to know where you are, and indicated his arms around you. Comfort settled down immediately, but the insane temperatures of his dozing body was too much, so you tried to kick the cover down to your feet. Kai lifted one of his arms unwillingly. It was still deep dark outside the window, and the old post office must have been standing there in complete fright.

“How many parts have you watched?”

“Three”, he said sleepily. You considered whether you were thirsty enough to try and go to the kitchen. Decided it wasn’t worth it. Your face felt a bit swollen with tears, but you felt comfortably tired. You wouldn’t leave this couch even if somebody lit it on fire.

“It’s not true, by the way”, he said.

“Huh?”

“My dad never tried to drown me”.

You rolled your eyes without opening them up.

“Wha...”

“I made it up, I was just trying to make you feel better”.

“You moron. You unbelievable moron, you...”

“You really have to stop calling me names, it hurts”.

“Douchebag. Why... Kai, you told me you weren’t a liar”.

He did something resembling a shrug. You felt his knee between yours, and slid your arm onto his back.

“You made me a liar. You’re changing me”, he mumbled, “I’m changing here with you. I can feel it”.

[dazaiswindow]

ikevamp oc: franz kafka (pt.2)

More elaboration on his background, general idea of how his route would be like and some random headcanons i have about him!

If you haven't read the first part yet, i would recommend reading that first before reading this one, as it would make much more sense

Part 1 // Part 2

By the way, i'll be using the tag '#ikevamp oc' '#my oc' and '#ikevamp franz' for whenever i'm talking or making a post about him!

Background (past life and relationships, why he came back as a vampire, etc.)

a/n: first off, i know cybirb don’t really delve too far into the suitor’s past life and doesn’t even bother to mention their families and wives and/or past relationships, but for the sake of this oc of mine’s story, i am going to mention some parts of the life he led before

In his past, Franz was a German-speaking novelist and short-story writer. His father was abusive and was a tyrant of sorts, with a wicked temper and little appreciation for his son's creative side. His father had a habit of dismissing anything that excited and inspired young Franz, invariably crushing Franz’s interest in pursuing anything.

The reason he agreed to the contract with Comte de Saint Germain in the brink of his death, to come back to live as a vampire in the 19th century Paris, was because he felt he hadn’t lived his life to the fullest, to truly do what he would have wanted to do without the pressure of his father’s oppressive presence in all of his life.

Much of Franz's personal struggles, in romance and other relationships, also came in part from his complicated relationship with his father. In all his first life, he had not known what it’s like to be loved, to be the object of affection, and it was the reason he spent his nights with some of the women of Paris, to seek a fleeting feeling of love and affection in the heat of the moment.

Although, due to the emotional abuse he received in his past life, he had withdrawn himself from emotional attachments, it's not like he's completely isolating himself, in fact he's quite sociable, however, he had sealed his heart from becoming emotionally attached to other people.

Sources: I // II // III

How his route would be like

At first, on the night when mc first arrived at the mansion, he thinks nothing of it, he felt indifferent towards her but still being nice to her out of courtesy, but although he's very kind and friendly towards her, mc could still sense the way he subtly puts a distance between both of them, it's like a transparent wall separating her from truly knowing who he really is.

Wanting to know him better, mc sets out to spend more and more time with him in hopes that he would be able to slowly open up to her and that they could form a true, genuine friendship between them. But with the more time they spend together, and the more he felt comfortable to let himself loose around her little by little, she soon fell in love with him and felt hopeless because she was sure that her feelings would in no way being returned, she never planned to tell him about her feelings and stick to her plan to come back to the time she came from, hoping that she would be able to forget him by doing so.

Little did she know that he also fell in love with her and that he felt conflicted because he's been in denial for the most part of it. He always told himself to stay away from emotional attachment and yet this one was inevitable to him, how very much of a fool he is! Now he feels so emotionally attached to her, knowing that she would soon go back to her own time. Not wanting to put a burden on her, he decided that he would never speak of his feelings and will let her go home without the burden of knowing how he feels towards her.

Of course, all of this plans were thrown out the window when one day, mc suddenly got kidnapped and very surprisingly... the man who kidnapped her turns out to be his own father. Hermann Kafka was supposed to be dead shortly after Franz himself and it was impossible for him to still be alive during this time period, and yet he had come back to life, as a vampire.

He claimed he was brought back by a figure who Hermann refused to tell the name. It was unclear what was the reason that he was brought back to life, but Franz did notice that there was something off about his father, the man in front of him was his father, but at the same time he doesn't sound like his father, it was like someone had took out some parts of him and replaced it with something else.

After some confrontation between Franz and his father, it eventually became clear that Hermann had originally agreed to be turned into a vampire on the edge of his last breath, because he felt that he had been a terrible father to his son, and that he had felt an immense guilt about it for all the time he was confined to his deathbed and wanted to ask Fran'z forgiveness for all his missdoings-- before being manipulated by the person who brought him back as a vampire.

Franz eventually forgave him, and managed to safely bring both mc and himself back to the mansion, where they confessed their feelings to one another in true sincerity and truthfulness, there was no more walls separating them now. Franz asked mc if she wanted to stay with him here in the 19th century, to which mc delightedly said yes.

"You have bring light into my life and saved me from my solitude, from the moment I fell in love with you I knew that I am a changed man. You're meine Schätze and I shall cherish you as such."

(please excuse my attempt at trying to be ✨poetic✨ rip)

Headcanons

This is where all the fun stuffs at! These are not at all related to Franz Kafka's real self and history for once 🤣

Franz likes to play chess and is actually pretty good at it, he plays a lot of games of all kinds with Arthur (board games, card games, etc.) but the only time Arthur had ever felt on edge is whenever they’re playing chess together (Franz has not beat him yet but Arthur is convinced that he could do it one day).

As i have mentioned on the previous post, Franz has a great amount of respects towards Napoleon, and he’s lowkey a Napoleon fanboy, sometimes he and Sebas would gush talk about Napoleon (in a good way ofc) together in their free time, it could vary between his legacy during the Napoleonic Wars or even something as simple as what has Napoleon been up to today.

Has a pet red fox which he named Robin (okay idk if the disney version of Robin Hood was already invented during the time in which ikevamp took place in —it was invented on 1973— but pls for the sake of this just pretend that it already was 😂).

In the previous post, i've also mentioned that he’s not really comfortable around Theo, tbh it’s mainly because he doesn’t quite know how to act around him, Franz tried striking a conversation with him once and Theo’s replies were short and snarky (tbh just how Theo usually talks lol), it ended up being so awkward.

He acts very naturally around girls, what i mean is, when Arthur's way of attracting girls is by complimenting and flirting with them, Franz is more like being abundantly nice and sweet towards them, like paying close attention when they're speaking, offer to escort them someplace, etc., it's not that he's manipulative, but he's just a genuinely nice and courteous person, and girls flock to him naturally.

He's very soft spoken, ok i know i don't watch a lot of animes but listen-- i think Yuki Kaji's voice when he's voicing Kou Mabuchi from Ao Haru Ride would be close to what i imagined his voice would sound like! That voice but with a little more light-hearted tone !!

He and Dazai sometimes exchange ideas about writings, or just recommend each other's a weekly book to read, both of their works tend to take on a more depressive themes, they really have a lot of ideas to exchange and talk about lol.

[fanfictionaries]

Oh So Many Years: Ch. 18 - Until the End

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary:

Fred and Hermione deal with the crazy aftermath of Harry’s brush with dementors. Hermione finds conflict within herself over her feelings for her headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. Fred just wishes the mornings would last longer. 

Warnings: Swearing, Death, Smut/18+ NSFW

Author’s Note:

It's a short one this week my loves, but still very good in my opinion. Next few chapters get exciting, so strap in and enjoy this sweet little thing before then.

I'm back to my normal posting schedule - Sundays before midnight (US MST).

And as always, feel free to like, reblog, and comment! I love to hear your thoughts!

Masterlist

<<<Chapter 17 

You’ve got a famous last name

But you’re not to blame

Baby, I see you for who you are

  Early morning sunlight woke Fred that day the way it normally did. Ever the early riser, it had to be barely five in the morning considering the fact that the sun was just breaking over the horizon. Usually he spent his mornings in comfortable solitude. He could do research without George constantly asking questions or tinker with his inventions without his mum interrupting. Back at the burrow he would often go for a morning fly or drink tea in the garden. But that morning when he rolled over in his bed, the cotton sheets twisting between his legs, he was compelled to do little else but stare at the girl beside him.

Hermione Granger. In his bed. Imagine that. They weren’t wrapped around each other like the morning in the library. She was a good foot away, arms tucked under a pillow and head turned facing him. But somehow, it felt even more intimate than then. Sleeping in the same bed as a girl without doing anything, not even touching, it felt very grown up in a weird way. Fred imagined it’s what proper couples did. Except they weren’t a couple. But still, in the peaceful silence with the sound of her soft breathing and the heat of her body radiating from across the mattress, Fred thought it would be very easy to pretend that they were. To pretend for just a moment that he was good and lucky enough to do something so adult and dare he say romantic with Hermione. Fred felt a pull in the pit of his stomach as the witch across from him gave a little shaky breath in her sleep.

  His thoughts went back to his conversation with George at dinner a few weeks ago. He was honest when he voiced his worries then. Was the way he felt for Hermione the same way he felt for Angelina? Perhaps a few months ago he’d have said yes. But now, looking at the witch in his bed, he was pretty sure he’d never felt this way with Angelina. He wasn’t sure what that “way” was, but it was certainly different from any “way” he’s felt before. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, staring at Hermione. It might have been a few minutes, or it might have been an hour. It didn’t really matter.

  When the colour in the room began to shift from warm oranges to light yellows, he decided it was probably best to wake Hermione before George woke up. The last thing he needed was a repeat of the library. Speaking of George. Looking over his shoulder, he saw his twin’s head still buried deeply under a mound of pillows and sighed in relief. Fred reached out and rested his hand on Hermione’s shoulder. He rubbed up and down the length of her arm gently.

  “Hey,” he said, voice so low you could barely call it a whisper.

  Hermione’s eyes fluttered open and her mouth stretched wide in a yawn. For a moment, confusion flashed across her face, quickly replaced by recognition and a light blush.

  “Hi,” she whispered back, the side of her head pressing further into the pillow.

  There was a brief silence as Fred decided on what to say next. There were plenty of things he wanted to say, but all of them fell flat now that Hermione was staring back at him. So instead, he landed on something easy. “Tea?”

  Hermione nodded and sat up cautiously, sneaking a glance over at George like Fred had done moments before. The pair tiptoed out of the room and down the hall before descending the stairs and entering the kitchen. It was empty, although the still-warm kettle and smell of baking bread told Fred that his mother was sure to be nearby. He always assumed he must have gotten his proclivity to early mornings from her. Fred approached the kettle, ready to fill it with fresh water and prepare their tea, but Hermione stopped him.

  “I’ve got it. You sit,” she murmured, her voice lower and gravelly, having just woken up.

  So Fred sat and watched Hermione put the kettle on and slowly prepared their tea. It would have been faster if she had just let him do it with magic, but he could feel the nervous energy rolling off of the witch like a thick fog. He figured she probably needed a moment if she felt anything like he did. A few minutes later they were sat next to each other, straddling the bench seat of the kitchen table, and facing each other – a cup of tea nestled in each of their hands.

  Fred took a tentative sip from his cup and relished in the taste. She’d made it perfectly. Strongly brewed with just a splash of milk. He tried not to focus too hard on the warmth that filled his chest at the thought that she’d remembered how he took his tea. Afterall, they’d had tea together enough now for it to be normal. Surely, she knew how Ginny took her tea as well, or George and Ron and Harry even. Fred couldn’t be that special. But then, it was his bed she had gone to last night. Not Ginny’s or George’s or Ron’s.

  “So…” Fred began, scratching the back of his head. He felt a prominent part in his hair from where he’d slept on it and was suddenly self-conscious of the state of himself. It was an odd feeling. He’d never cared too much about his appearance before. He ran a hand over it, trying to fix the mess as discreetly as possible.

  “So…” Hermione mimicked, chewing on the inside of her bottom lip. Fred watched as the sleep swollen skin tugged inward, coming back slightly damp once she finally released the abused flesh. “I’m sorry if last night was…inappropriate in any way.”

  “No!” Fred said a bit too quickly for his liking. He cleared his throat, taking a bigger sip of his tea and scalding the back of his tongue but bringing a bit more clarity to his mind. “I mean, no. It wasn’t—it was fine.”

  Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, shoulders relaxing a bit. “Okay, good. I was worried you might think it was invasive. I just—”

  “—no. You’re more than welcome in my bed anytime. That came out wrong.” Fred scrunched up his face, eyes closing tightly when he realized how his words sounded. He was making a right mess of this. He tried again, “I just meant…do you want to talk about it?”

  Silently he really hoped she did, because he needed someone besides himself to speak for fear of saying something else stupid.

  Hermione looked down pensively at her cup of tea, thumb rubbing at the side of the cup and face twisting in that oh so familiar Hermione way. “I suppose I should. I’m worried, obviously. About Harry and the Ministry and what’s going to happen. And I can’t help but feel responsible—”

  “For what?” Fred couldn’t help but interrupt. Responsible? For what happened to Harry? Ridiculous. “Hermione, none of this is your fault.”

  “Not directly, no. But I know Harry. I knew when Professor Dumbledore told us to keep him in the dark that it was a mistake. He’s just so reckless sometimes and he doesn’t think. I should have gone with my instinct and written him anyways,” Hermione confessed, continuing to look down guiltily at her tea.

  “Hermione, you can’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could have known that this was going to happen.”

  “Except, I sort of did, didn’t I.”

  “Well that’s what you get for being so clever,” said Fred, immediately regretting the words. Perhaps now wasn’t the time to make light of a situation. However, his worries were quelled when Hermione let out a short and breathy laugh.

  “Stop it,” she smiled, looking up at him through her lashes.

  “What?” Fred asked innocently, now smiling himself.

  “Doing that thing you do.”

  “What thing?”

  “That thing where you make everything feel like it’s going to be alright. It makes sulking incredibly difficult.” Hermione lifted a foot and pushed playfully at his shin with her toes.

  Fred couldn’t help the genuine smile that spread across his face and melted into his heart.

  “Who would I be if I didn’t make light of a situation?” It was his turn to lift his foot and push playfully at her leg.

  “Certainly not Fred Weasley,” Hermione responded, both of her feet then moving forward to rest on the tops of his own. Fred left them there, wondering if it was inappropriate but ultimately decided that no, it was only feet.

  “Morning—" a yawning Ron came around the corner and into the room “—is the water still hot?”

  Hermione sat up straighter at the entrance of her friend, moving her right foot off the top of his left. The small change made Fred frown, but the fact that she kept her left foot, the one protected by the cover of the kitchen table, right where it was, made him feel a bit better. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of resentment towards his little brother.

  “Morning,” Hermione greeted Ron kindly.

  “How long have you two been up?” Ron asked, pouring himself a cup of tea, and sitting down across from them with a heavy thud.

  “Not long. You’re up early,” said Fred, just then realizing that Ron was in fact up uncharacteristically early.

  “Couldn’t sleep,” Ron mumbled, sipping his tea.

  Fred and Hermione nodded in understanding.

  They sat there, quietly sipping their tea at the kitchen table. It wasn’t long before they realized that the house they’d previously assumed to be desolate in the early hours, was actually uncommonly busy, even for headquarters standards. Fred’s mother was the first to enter the small kitchen, taking out the loaves of bread from the oven and using a towel to cool them quickly before cutting off thick slices. Then came his father which was odd as it was a Tuesday, and he would normally be at the Ministry. His brother Bill, who’d taken a desk job to be closer for the Order, came running through grabbing a piece of bread and greeting them cheerily before disappearing. By the time the clock struck seven in the morning, they’d seen at least twenty witches and wizards cross through the kitchen. Some were very serious, like their father, Lupin, Moody, and Kingsley. Others had a more relaxed mood like Tonks, Sirius, and Fletcher. Fred was surprised Mundungus Fletcher had the gall to be anything but a nervous wreck considering, from what he heard, he was one of the soul reasons Harry was in this mess.

  Still, as he watched the scrambling adults run to and fro throughout the house, Fred couldn’t help but find a small amount of humour. Try as he and George might, they could never cause this amount of discourse. Only Harry Potter could thrum up chaos like this. He hoped the stupid git was alright. For Hermione’s sake but also for his own. Harry had become something like another little brother to him over the years and he didn’t know what he’d do if he was expelled. Probably Dungbomb the whole Ministry or charm all the doorknobs in the building to move when you tried to use them. That seemed somewhat fitting.

  It was around seven thirty in the morning when the tap of an owl came from the kitchen window. All three of them looked up to see Harry’s snowy owl, Hedwig, sitting on the ledge. Hermione was the first to leap to her feet. Crossing the kitchen she swung the window open and let Hedwig in. Ron was at her side a few seconds later, feeding the bird a piece of bread and taking a rolled-up scroll from Hermione.

  There were three scrolls: one addressed to Hermione, one addressed to Ron, and lastly, one addressed to Sirius.

  Hermione and Ron’s scrolls said the same thing and Fred could only assume that Sirius’s did as well:

  I’ve just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what’s going on and when I’m going to get out of here.

  Hermione sat down heavily at the table again, staring down at the parchment.

  “What do we tell him?” asked Ron, taking a large bite of bread, and chewing broodingly.

  “I mean, we have to tell him something. Don’t we?” asked Hermione, looking at them both with a conflicted expression.

  Hedwig flew across the kitchen and perched herself next to Hermione. She reached a hand up to stroke the brilliantly white bird but let out a little yelp and a hiss when it bit her finger. Ron attempted to shoo Hedwig away from Hermione but was met with the same fate.

  “Ow! Bloody bird,” grumbled Ron, cradling his bleeding hand.

  The bird made another attempt to bite at Hermione and Fred batted her away. Hedwig gave an indignant hoot and flew back to the kitchen counter looking decidedly put out.

  “We can’t tell him anything, Hermione. You remember what Dumbledore said,” said Ron.  

  “Yes, and look where that’s gotten us,” spat Hermione.

  “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but even if the Ministry or You-Know-Who weren’t intercepting owls before, they’re more likely to be doing it now.”

  Fred thought this was incredibly astute of his little brother. Hermione must have thought so too as she took to chewing on her lip and staring glumly at her empty teacup instead of arguing back.

  “We can’t not write back at all. We have to say something,” Hermione finally said, sounding crestfallen.

  “Maybe dad will know what to do,” said Ron, standing up and exiting the kitchen to go and search for their father.

  It was then just Hermione and Fred in the kitchen once again and Fred took the brief moment of privacy to reach out and place a hand on Hermione’s knee.

  “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. All these people haven’t been running around like chickens with their heads cut off to not help Harry. He’s got the full force of the Order behind him. We just have to be patient – not worry,” he said, hoping that his words helped and didn’t just sound like empty positive affirmations.

  Hermione sighed heavily before responding, “You’re right. I just hate feeling useless.”

  “Well if you want distraction, I can help with that.”

  He didn’t mean for the words to sound so provocative. In the hectic morning, he’d almost forgotten that they’d shared a bed all night. Hermione however apparently had not forgotten as she blushed a pretty shade of pink from her chest to her hairline, eyes growing slightly wide.

  “There’s plenty of things to work on for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes and you can always knit some more—” Fred thought on his feet, coming up with something that would draw away from his previous statement “—From what I’ve seen, you could really do with some improvement.”

  Hermione scoffed, eyes growing even wider now but this time out of surprise from the sheer cheek of his statement, rather than the implication of something more inappropriate. She slapped him lightly on the arm and Fred snickered. He stood then, stretching out the kinks and stiffness from sitting too long so early in the morning.

  “Come on then, best get dressed and sorted. We have a long day ahead of us – I’m thinking we start on brewing a few batches of Fever Fudge. I got that shipment of pigeon berry in yesterday and then there’s the Nosebleed Nougats. They need a bit more tweaking. The mustard root works but a bit too well. Practically felt the blood thickening in my veins the other day—”

  “Probably too much, or perhaps the potency of the mustard root is too high, have you thought of diluting it?” Hermione asked, standing as well. Fred smiled, liking that he could practically see the cogs in her brain whirring over something that wasn’t Harry Potter and the Wizarding world’s impending doom.

  “I was thinking perhaps just cutting the amount in half—” Fred climbed off of the bench and headed towards the kitchen door “—Oh, we also need to work on the Puking Pastilles and then George was saying something about packaging the other day.”

  “Yes, I was there. I believe he was saying that you needed some. Packaging makes half the product, you know—” Hermione followed him “—have you heard of the plant ipecacuanha? It grows in South America and muggles use it to induce vomiting.”

  Fred gave a dry short bark of a laugh. “No need to lecture me on the importance of style versus substance.”

  “I made one comment on the colour of your shirt Frederick once and you still can’t let it go.”

  “How can I when it—” Fred stopped, nearly colliding with someone in the kitchen doorway. “Oh sorry mate,” Fred apologized casually, only then realizing that it wasn’t just a random Order member, he’d almost walked into, but his headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

  “Professor Dumbledore—” Fred blanched “—I didn’t mean-I’m sorry—” Could he get detention for calling his headmaster ‘mate’ if it was still the summer holiday? Fred wondered briefly.

  “It’s quite alright Mr. Weasley,” said Dumbledore kindly, giving him a calm and polite smile.

  “Did you need my mum or dad? Or maybe Sirius?” Fred asked, pointing a thumb over his shoulder vaguely.

  “I was actually hoping to speak with Ms. Granger and your brother.”

  “Which one? I’ve got about twenty of ‘em,” responded Fred, immediately regretting his knee-jerk reaction to be funny in uncomfortable situations.

  Luckily, Dumbledore merely continued to smile, the corner of his mouth twitching up ever so higher than before. “Your younger brother, Ronald please.” 

  “Right. He went to go find dad. I’ll go get him.” Fred gave a quick glance over his shoulder at Hermione who looked at Dumbledore with an unreadable expression on her face.

  “Thank you, Mr. Weasley. Have him meet us in the second-floor parlour, please,” said Dumbledore, staring back at Hermione now with an even more unreadable expression.

  Fred nodded, stepping around his headmaster and heading towards the dining room to search for Ron.

    There was something very odd and uncomfortable about sitting in a room with your headmaster wearing nothing but your pyjamas, thought Hermione. Especially when you currently had a slight disliking for him. There were a thousand things she wanted to say to the aged man swimming through her brain. Some of it was polite – fair questions about Harry and what their plan was to help him. Some of it was not so nice – stinging insults and belittling of ability to properly lead. The rude thoughts were much louder than the nice ones. So loud, in fact, that Hermione was surprised Professor Dumbledore couldn’t hear them pouring out of her ears. Still, out of all these thoughts she decided to refrain from saying anything until Ron was there and the old man had said what he had to say. Although, Hermione had a good guess what he came to tell them, and she wasn’t at all looking forward to hearing it.

  Ron came bursting through the door not too long after her and Professor Dumbledore entered the parlour. Hermione sat gingerly on the edge of the settee this time, leaving only the armchairs for her headmaster. She didn’t mean for the choice in seating to be a power move, but when the bearded man raised an eyebrow giving her a curious look behind his half-mooned spectacles, she realized that taking his previous seat of choice it could be construed that way. In silence response, Professor Dumbledore chose to remain standing. Hermione didn’t know if this was deliberate or not. Ron sat next to her, looking for a moment as if he were going to reach out and cover the hand that sat tensely on her knee with his own. He shook his head slightly, apparently thinking better of it. This, Dumbledore rose an eyebrow to as well – nosey old man.

  Their headmaster paced quietly in front of them, his long fingers steepled in front of him. After a few minutes Hermione wondered why he had asked them to meet with him at all if he wasn’t going to speak. Surely this was a waste of time.

  “Sir, Ron and I both received messages from Harry this morning,” said Hermione, unable to bear the silence anymore.

  Professor Dumbledore stopped, his steepled fingers breaking apart as he turned to them.

  “Ahh, I assumed as much. I also assume that he sent a message to his Godfather as well?” It was a question, but he said it with such conviction that it sounded more like a statement.

  They nodded.

  “He wants to know what’s going on, yes?”

  They nodded again.

  “I trust you have not given him any information.” The statement was slightly chiding. As if they were small children and he a well-mannered parent reminding them of the rules.  

  Hermione opened her mouth to respond but Ron beat her to it.

  “No, Professor. We haven’t.”

  “Good, that’s good,” said Professor Dumbledore distantly, and he began to pace again.

  Hermione felt herself prickle. Where was the formidable man she’d seen the night before, storming into headquarters, leader of the Order of the Phoenix, fire ablaze in his eyes and purpose in his step? He looked ready to fight an entire army then, but not now. Here, he was distractedly contemplating something as if they had all the time in the world.

  “Sir, I know you said that it’s important not to write anything that could give information away, but shouldn’t we at least write back? I’m sure Harry is crawling up the walls right now, wondering what’s going on. Don’t you think it’s best we give him something?” Hermione stared hard at her headmaster, feeling conflicted. This was a man she’d looked up to for years. It felt wrong to question him, or worse feel a waning for the respect she held.

  Professor Dumbledore seemed to contemplate her question for a moment, before turning to them both and answering, “No, I don’t think it is.”

  In the end their headmaster had made them both swear to not write Harry back at all. Not even a single word. By the time he’d swept out of the room and Hermione and Ron had made their way back up to the third floor, Hermione was beyond frustrated.

  She slammed the door to Ron’s room open and barged in. It was her time to pace the floor, but instead of imitating Professor Dumbledore’s steady and sure steps, she took quick and angry strides.

  “Ridiculous! It’s absolutely ridiculous! Barmy old man…” Hermione seethed, placing her hands on her hips. She could feel her hair growing in crackling frustration and for once she didn’t try to flatten it. She didn’t care. The only thing she did care about in that moment was Harry.

  “Hermione…” Ron began, sitting down on his bed.

  “I knew it! I knew we should have given him something more than ‘Hey Harry, sorry your summer’s crap, but there’s big stuff happening here. We’re so busy, wish you were here!’. I just knew it.”

  “Hermione—”

  “I mean, who is he to decide what’s best for Harry? He barely knows him!” Hermione threw her hands up into the air.

  “Hermione,” Ron said a bit more forcefully this time, pulling Hermione out of her rage and back into the present. “Look, I know it sucks, but we’ve got to follow orders. I mean, he is the adult after all and we’re just kids. Bit low on the pecking order to be making big Order decisions.”

  Hermione slumped, sitting down on the bed next to him and laughing cynically. “Since when are you the practical one and I’m the hot-headed one?”

  Ron laughed as well. “Well, you’ve always been hot-headed, but my talk with dad before Dumbledore got here helped put it in perspective. He said, it’s best not to send anything Harry’s way because they’re planning on going and getting him. They don’t want anyone knowing – makes it more safe I suppose.”

“I know…I guess it’s just that…Harry’s going to be so mad at us,” groaned Hermione, letting her head fall into her hands.

  “Maybe he’ll understand once we explain everything,” Ron proposed.

  Hermione shot him a wary look and Ron looked back at her with a tired but hopeful expression. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, before breaking out into a light laughter.

  “You’re right—” Ron breathed deeply “—he’s gonna be furious.”

  “He’ll probably yell at us,” sighed Hermione.

  “And do that self-pitying thing where he says we couldn’t possibly understand,” added Ron.

  Hermione gave a humourless laugh through her nose.

  “Sorry if your visit hasn’t been as fun as you expected,” said Ron lightly.

  His comment caught Hermione off guard. It was an incredibly thoughtful thing to say.

  “It hasn’t been too bad. Better than spending the summer at my grandparents. At least here I have friends and of course, it’s never boring,” laughed Hermione, giving Ron a small smile.

  The ginger boy smiled back, glancing to the hands in her lap in the same contemplative manner as in the parlour. This time, however, he did reach out and take her hand in his. His hand was nice, warm, and friendly, and while Hermione wanted so desperately to just enjoy the weight and comfort of it, she couldn’t help but think of how it didn’t feel anything like Fred’s. It was nice nonetheless and so she let it be, placing her right hand over his and squeezing it firmly. Ron really was a good friend when he wanted to be.

  And Ron wasn’t the only good friend that week. It seemed the five of them: Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Fred, and George, all took turns the next three days acting as each other’s emotional supports. Every time one of them showed the slightest bit of worry or stress when it came to the topic of Harry, the others would band together to distract them. The twins were the best at it, having had years of practice distracting people, but Hermione found that Ginny was best at changing the subject with George. All she had to do was say she could do something better than him and he was immediately on the defence, demanding that they hold some kind of competition. Ron was surprisingly good with Ginny. He had gotten into the habit of spouting his opinions on certain quidditch teams whenever his little sister seemed to be in a mood. And Hermione found she could pull Fred out of whatever pensive thought he was having by teasing him over silly things like the way he held his quill or how he wrote the letter G. He seemed to get both endless amount of confusion and entertainment from the odd comments and it was easy to not focus on serious things when you were debating something as inconsequential as how to properly write a letter.

  Mrs. Weasley also kept them busy. Tasks seemed to triple in amount and intricacy after Harry’s run-in with the dementors. Hermione knew it was to keep them out of the way. There were more Order members in and out of headquarters that week than there had been the entire time she’d been there that summer. Mrs. Weasley so desperately wanted them to know as little as possible about what the Order was up to, especially the twins. Hermione still remembered the way the Weasley matriarch had turned three shades of red when Fred and George stated they wanted to go with the party that was to pick Harry up that Friday night. You’d reckon she was a tea kettle with the way steam poured from her ears at the notion.

  “You know she only said no because she cares, right?” Hermione said later that night in a whisper. George was sleeping soundly in bed beside them and while he was a sound sleeper, neither of them wanted to chance waking him up. Sirius and Professor Lupin were in the library once again. They had hogged the space since Harry’s brush with the dementors and while Hermione had come to think of the library as her and Fred’s space, she couldn’t really be mad. It was Sirius Black’s home. Not hers.

  “I’m annoyingly aware of that,” whispered Fred back, pouting a bit like a child. “I just wish she cared a little less.”

  “No you don’t,” said Hermione, giving him a pointed look before yawning deeply. It was late.

  Fred caught the yawn, laying down and pulling his covers fully over him. “Are you staying?” he asked, so casually you would have thought he was asking if she’d like a late-night cuppa and not whether she’d be sharing his bed again.

  Hermione was a bit torn. On one hand, yes she very much did want to stay and on the other, she didn’t fancy someone finding them or worse, Angelina finding out. The other girl already didn’t like her. Still…

  “Just for a bit longer. Then I really should go back to my room,” said Hermione, laying down as well and bringing her face parallel with Fred’s. “Harry’s going to be angry, you know.”

  “Hmm?” hummed Fred sleepily, eyes now closed as his head rested on the pillows.

  “When he gets here tomorrow night. He’s probably going to yell – mostly at me and Ron. He always likes to yell at us when things get tough. I imagine it’s easier since we’re his friends. Ya know?” Hermione twisted up her face at the thought. Why was it so much easier to be mad at those you were closest to?

  “Do you want me and George to keep an ear out? We can pop in if he gets particularly nasty.”

  Hermione’s heart gave a little tug at Fred’s sweet and sleepy offer. “It’s just Harry. He’s been through a lot. I can handle him,” she responded half-heartedly.

  “I couldn’t care if he were Merlin himself. Doesn’t mean he gets to yell at you.”

  Those were Fred’s last words before he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. It was much deserved too. When they weren’t distracting each other or doing one of the endless chores Mrs. Weasley gave them, Hermione was keeping their noses to the grindstone when it came to their business. Less than a month left of the summer and she insisted that they get a good inventory if they were going to take out more advertisements in once the school year started. Plus brewing got a bit difficult with classes and other school obligations. As a result, both her and the twins were looking more tired these days. But then in the moonlit room, it was nice to see Fred’s face relaxed in sleep. He looked young and peaceful and devastatingly handsome. Hermione’s eyes played connect the dots with the freckles on his face for a while, making a game out of it. She tried to spot as many constellations as she could on the cloudless map of his face. He had Cygnus over the bridge of his nose and Gemini right under his left eye.

Those were Hermione’s last thoughts before she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.  

Chapter 19>>>

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[tsskyx]

Unmeta

You know what’s ridiculous? This post was originally supposed to be an essay, an entire thesis backed with unshakable logic that I wanted to become my magnum opus. But as it turns out, I’m pretty terrible at doing that sort of thing. The first day I’m full of enthusiasm, while the next day I reread what I wrote and I delete it all again. It’s terrible.

For this reason, I’ve decided to just start with the opinion part. Instead of laying out the facts and easing the reader into it, I’ll just blurt everything out in one go. Instead of neatly organizing everything, I’ll write my thoughts as they come to me.

(Update for 2/Oct/2021: I no longer remember when I made the first draft of this post. Maybe it was in 2018, maybe even as early as 2017. Who knows. This post existed in my drafts since forever. It is time to finally publish it. It contains very little information, very little evidence for anything or logic or facts, it’s just a one big opinion piece that I began writing years ago out of frustration. Frustration not aimed at the game itself, nor at Toby or anyone else, but at my inability to decouple the “meta” from Undertale and thus causing me to disassociate from the characters that I loved, when I didn’t plan to do so. All I ever wanted is to make sense of the Undertale world, instead of giving its inhabitants a meta-existential dread. In a nutshell, for the Undertale world to be self-contained, the 4th wall must stay intact, and the mechanics of the UT world mustn’t resemble a video game. That’s basically the gist of this post. Proceed with reading.)

You know Undertale meta? All the 4th wall breaking stuff and whatnot? The stuff that makes the game so awesome?

What about it you say?

It’s not real. I don’t think it is. It cannot be.

Tell me, has Undertale personally impacted you? Was it more than just a game to you? I know for a fact that for many people, it was much more than that. So tell me, is it fine by you that despite presenting itself in this way to us, it still sort of cops out of this at the very end? (By which I mean, when we learn that we aren’t Frisk. That we’re just someone controlling them.)

Some say that this cop-out, this act of “disassociation”, is necessary for our psychological journey to end. And I agree. We cannot dwell on this forever, else we lose our minds. But what I meant is something much more... materialistic.

Let’s take Oneshot, a game that’s arguably even more meta than Undertale. Oneshot embraces the 4th wall. It labels us a god. It portrays the game itself as an in-game machine. And yet, it feels real. Despite all this ridiculousness, the story feels real and possible. Kind of like The Matrix. Perhaps think of everyone in Oneshot except for the main character as a Matrix program, while Niko is the only user hooked up to it. It still feels real, because Niko is real, because there exists a real world they can to return to.

But Undertale floats somewhere between being real and being a fairy tale, a mere bedtime story. The reason is its lax handling of the 4th wall. Say, if Undertale were to be considered a “real” possibility, as in, entirely fictional, but still believable, kinda like The Matrix, kinda like any science fiction, or just fiction in general, what would it be like?

I’ll tell you, everything would have to be real, everything would have to look exactly how we see it. There’d need to be turns, there’d need to be save files, there’d need to be so many bizarre things, it probably wouldn’t take long before the NPCs themselves realized their own nonexistence, probably around the time they developed computers and video games. It’d be so similar, they’d have to be either stupid or under some kind of spell to not realize that their entire world is just one giant video game. Especially Flowey. Some say that he has already realized this, as his dialogue hints towards this. Which puts a super unfortunate spin on his condition. Furthermore, the entire game could be described through its Game Maker code. No need for laws of physics, just observe the if-else statements!

It would also mean that Frisk is controlled by a third unknown entity. If we were to take everything we do to Frisk at face value, it must all be them. Except... after a true reset, everything gets reset, even things about Frisk, such as them expecting the whoopee cushion prank. So... Frisk isn’t in control. But Chara isn’t either. Take for example the final fight against Asriel. Chara appeared pretty enthusiastic during it. What if someone were to reset the timeline during the fight? Either it wasn’t them who did so, or they were just pretending to be entertained, or perhaps they aren’t the narrator in the first place even.

No matter what, there will always be an instance where Frisk forgets, and where Chara doesn’t do something when they could have. Once you mess with the game enough, their personalities stop making sense.

This gradual breakdown of the narrative as I keep attacking the logic of it from every direction imaginable is a symptom of something far bigger. The fact that unlike The Matrix or Oneshot, there is no “real world” in this game. The virtual part of it is what the game is trying to make us focus on. It’s all there is. There is not even a hint of “another” world in the game, a world that wouldn’t be governed by these terrible rules. And even if there was one, even if you consider what Sans said to be that world, even if you considered Deltarune to be that world, there is still no guarantee that everything will be okay. What if the characters - your friends, aren’t real in this actual real world, what if they’re all just computer simulations? There’d have to be an entire population hooked up to a virtual reality for everyone to be “safe” as I’m putting it in this hypothetical real world, which sounds not only ridiculous, but like a direct ripoff of The Matrix.

The game has made Frisk the main character. Why, when making Sans the main one, the one who at least has a possibility of coming from a “real” real world, would be far more logical?

Because it lacks logic. Undertale is an experiment. Toby Fox is not a genius. He was just messing around, he didn’t think of literally every tiny little logical detail (contrary to what some individuals would like to think), he just explained enough for most of the story to make sense. But, no matter how you spin it, this fundamental flaw will always be there. The story tries to merge you and the protagonist, before disassociating you from them. Even if you always were disassociated from them, how can the in-game world be real, when other aspects of your reality weren’t disassociated yet? Where’s the disassociation for battles and turns, for save files and time travel, for stats and everything? How can Undertale claim to be complete, when it isn’t? ... Perhaps because it is not claiming to be. It’s an experiment after all. And I don’t mean “incomplete” as in a single update / new game can fix it. I mean the premise itself is already broken from the start. And while there are many fictional worlds which function on a similar level of meta, Undertale is the only one that appears to irk me mad. I don’t know why. Maybe I love the characters. Maybe I love them very much. Maybe I love them so much, that I wanna write a fan fiction about them. And maybe, just maybe, this tiny little issue is making this dream of mine impossible. Undertale is a story conveyed through game mechanics. Choosing any other medium breaks everything down and the author needs to invent their own rules. There’s simply no way around it. Unless someone has the balls to program a fan game of their own, there’s just no way to resolve this without adjusting the canon a little bit, to make it “a little bit more sensible” as some would put it. Just a small nudge, a lil’ nudgie wudgie to the canon mechanics AAAAAND we’re in fanon territory. Excellent, better go all out.

Here’s my head canon, my little “adjustment” of the canon rules. Thanks to it, I can once again think about Undertale as a real world, I no longer need to philosophize over the meta like I did above, I can all put it past me:

Saving, loading, resetting? Regular sci-fi time travel.

The save file? The parameters of the time machine.

LV and EXP? Another set of properties of the machine, though it could be properties of the soul too. I’m undecided on that note. But either works, that’s what’s important.

Chara destroying the world through LV? No, screw that, Chara merely tuned Frisk out. And the black void was the inside of their mind as Chara denied them access to their own body.

The intro? Literally never happened, no one “saw” it. (The past was still real. It’s just the intro that never existed.) The outro? Literally never physically occurred, Frisk wasn’t “stuck” on the ending credits, unable to go further, fuck that.

Flowey? No screw everything meta about Flowey, there exists a perfectly logical explanation to everything he says, and if not, such as in the genocide run with him hinting towards people watching but not acting... he never said that in the first place!

Same with turns, the battles don’t actually look that way, there are no turns, what Sans perceives and abuses as such is just an illusion, the actual battle against Sans is absolutely fluid. And him pausing at the end and not letting us go is him keeping his guard up, until falling asleep and giving us an opportunity to sneak near him and strike. We don’t need turns to explain it. And what he said about turns... just ignore it! Ignore everything that directly proves me wrong! Because resolving that fucking conundrum IS more important than being logically consistent, and you can’t change my mind on that. Screw logic when the foundation of the entire fandom, of every UT-related fiction, is at stake here.

And I shall call this philosophy... the Unmeta. Because it attempts to undo the meta. Hence, “unmeta” for short.

[forestlingincorporated]

Since it seems like some people haven't actually read the origonal Death in the Family, and with the animated movie maybe coming out in the fall, I thought I'd make a quick friendly fandom PSA on what happened in the comic.

So we open with Batman and Robin tracking down pornographers... I'm assuming child pornography, cause I don't think regular pornography was a crime in 1988. Jason is reckless and rough with the criminals, and this is notably after Jason's already maybe-maybe-not pushed an abuser/cocaine trader off a roof. Bruce has a Concern.

So then Bruce's like "maybe I made a mistake and Jay should take a break from being Robin because he's clearly still traumatised" like a hypocrite. Jason does NOT handle this well.

Careful Bruce, that sounds a lot like therapy you're suggesting.

So, Jason goes for a walk to blow off steam and finds himself at his old Crime Alley apartment where he lived with his mom and (sometimes) his dad.

This is Mrs. Walker. She was Jason's neighbor and a friend of his mom. She saved a bunch of the Todd's personal papers when their shit got auctioned off. She sees Jason stop by the apartment and gives him the box.

Meanwhile, Bruce's is handling a case involving the Joker, but nobody cares about the details on that... yet.

Jason goes through the box and finds his birth certificate. But what's this! He can't read his mother's name due to water damage, but that sure looks like an S!

Could it be Catherine Todd isn't his birth mother? (Yes.) Could it be his real mother is... Superman? (No.)

So, Jason's SAD Catherine's not his "real" mom, but then he's happy because that means he might not be an orphan anymore.

So, he finds his dad's old adress book and finds three women with names begining with S: Sharmin Rosen, Shiva Woosan, and Dr. Sheila Haywood. Can I just say? Goddamn, being a low-level Two-Face henchman introduces you to some Interesting people. And Jason gets it in his head that he's going to Find His Birth Mom.

He goes overseas to do just that. Bruce goes overseas on a lead with his Joker case, which happens to put him an Jason in the same spot. Jason "Are You My Mother?"s Sharmin and Shiva. Sharmin says she's never had a baby in Gotham, Shiva says she's never had children - which has notably been retconned, since Cassandra Cain is a few months older than Jason, but wouldn't be invented for several more years.

"Are YOU my mother?!"

So Jason finds Sheila Haywood, who - surprise, surprise - is his bio mom. But oh no, the plot! Remember how there's a Joker plot happening? Well...

So Jason sees the Joker and runs off to tell Bruce who's like "stay put, the plot is happening and I don't want you facing Joker alone." And Jason's like "okay, sure, but..."

Notably, Jason DOESN'T go after the Joker alone. All he tries to do is get his mom to safety, and makes the mistake of telling her he's Robin. And what does Sheila do with this information?

Turns her biological child over to a known violent criminal. And pulls a gun on him.

This is the part most people know. Joker beats Jason with a crow bar (Sheila pretends like it's not happening...) and then she asks him what they're going to do when BATMAN finds out, because she just had to open her big mouth. So Joker decides he can't leave evidence because the Bat only goes "nova" when he's positive someone is guilty, so he and his goons tie Sheila up and leave her and Jason to be exploded.

Jason wakes up and despite being BETRAYED by his birth mom, he still tries to save her. I refuse to say she redeems herself, but she does TRY to rescue both of them, but the door is locked and they get exploded anyway.

This would later be retconned as Deadman possessing Sheila's body, so yeah, Sheila is a huge piece of shit and doesn't even get her one redeeming thing.

When Batman arrives, it should be noted that all he knows is what a dying Sheila tells him, which isn't much. Mostly that the Joker did it and that she doesn't deserve a good, kind child like Jason. BRUCE DOES NOT KNOW JASON DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY CONFRONT THE JOKER. This fact will effect the way he interacts with his children for, oh, the rest of his goddamn life. Bruce's waffling between "Jason was reckless and it got him killed" and "it's all my fault" begins the minute the warehouse explodes, when in reality the only people at fault are the Joker and Shiela Haywood... and, like, those two goons with the Joker, but fuck 'em, I'm pretty sure they dont have names and I think they die via Joker gas or something.

So then there's this whole plot where everyone thinks Bruce wants to kill the Joker, and they don't want him to because Joker is *checks notes* the ambassador of Iran? So he's got diplomatic immunity?

...I'm not gonna touch that.

Anyway, so Superman gets involved. Shit goes down. A helicopter blows up. Bruce begs Clark to find Joker's body in the water, but they imply they can't. As ya do.

And so that's death in the family. Some aspects of it didn't age well from the late 80s to now, but it's overall a really solid story with some very good scenes between Jason and Bruce and I hope the adaptation does it justice and improves on it.

[anethara]

I know this is not something I am supposed to do — but I can’t remember the last time in my life that I cared about “supposed to.”

So lately I’ve been thinking about what my life might have looked like under different conditions. The usual suspects: what if I was cis, mostly. I don’t know if I would still have a neurochemical disruption or not. I think we still would have moved around a lot. Childhood stability is as important a factor in mental health as gender — more so, arguably. I don’t know if I would have experienced the abuse that I did — in degree or frequency. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen to little boys — it does, all the time. Just...the nature of the crimes committed against me never felt like that of convenience. It wasn’t just that I was available, it felt very targeted, very based in the shape that my body was forced into.

But I also worry at times that I could have been a real jackass. Suffering does not necessitate compassion: some of the worst abusers I’ve known were just echoes of their own abuse. But it does tend to give one the opportunity to open one’s mind. In any case, pretending to be a girl positioned me to bear witness to the gritty details of misogyny in a way that makes it a plain and undeniable fact. Perhaps being raised by a single mother would have kept me nudged towards feminism regardless, but I’d hate to think undeservedly well of myself.

I’ve also been thinking about the course my life may have taken. I probably would have gone to college right out of high school. I probably would have had better grades. I might be on an incline in my career right now. Then again, who even knows what field I might have chosen with that kind of freedom.

I wonder if my mother would have handled my queerness with more welcoming hands. As it stands, we had two nasty fights, a years-long cold war, and then one day it was as if nothing had happened. I was wringing my hands at introducing her to the woman who would become my wife (because at the time, it looked very gay), and she was just so excited to welcome her. Like those fights had never happened. Like she had never used the word, “disgusts.” Like the idea of my holding hands with a girl had not revolted and disturbed her. And God forbid I bring it up, because she doesn’t remember saying that. So I wonder, if she had known I was a boy all along, if my being attracted to masculinity would have been an approved form of deviance. Because my mother is a straight woman: she can relate to desiring a man. That’s all right.

The joke is on her, really, because now I have a husband and a wife.

I can’t know what life is like for alternative-universe cisgender me. I can invent ideas, over and over. My favorite involves acres of land, three kids, and a big old renovated farm house. Cold winters and muggy summers. An auto shop I operate out of my garage. Fulfilling, keeping my hands full and my mind clear.

I think I might be mourning him. I think I might be mourning the fractured remains of what should have been childhood. That’s okay. I think I look good in black.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA SHOPS / MALL AU

(This is a weird ass mall just work with me here okay)

(Oh, and did I mention they’re all staying in the mall because they’re the last humans left after the zombie apocalypse?)

(BEWARE: mentions of abuse and harassment/assault, murder, death, annihilation, zombies, implied cannibalism but that kind of comes with the territory with zombies let's be honest, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Mechanics Shop) Luther came here after an accident left him deformed and lonely. He expects he’ll be there the rest of his life, having no other prospects to fall back on, and he actually thinks that might be alright, maybe. He likes fixing cars well enough and the donuts at Agnes’ are to die for, even if he has to pay for them with some bickering with Diego. He has a good routine - a good life. Until the zombies come to town and stay, and Allison the Fallen Angel Actress comes with them.

(Bakery) Diego took over the bakery when Agnes died. He’s been here since the first zombies came in, and sleeps around with Klaus almost every day, though they both deny feeling any sort of love for each other. (What fucking liars.) Diego wants to get the fuck out, to end it all if that’s what it takes, but his family keeps him here. And then Klaus storms off after one of their fights, and gets bitten, and Diego holds him in his arms as he fades, finally confessing that he loves him. Klaus looks at him with his wide green eyes one last time, whimpering Diego’s name, and Diego makes a split-second decision and kisses him on the mouth. And Klaus bites his lip.

(High-End Fashion) Allison was an actress who fell from grace about a week before the apocalypse. She came to stay with her brother Klaus and Ray, her childhood friend whom she’s almost laughably in love with, helped her get a job here. It’s just as well, since the zombies moved in three days later and they’ve been trapped here ever since.

(Vintage Shop) Klaus is happy to have Allison back in his life. He’s been stuck here in the mall in this weird vintage record/clothing/shoe/whatever store since he turned seventeen, hooked on drugs and going mad. He’s a brilliant inventor, but he can’t cure zombies. And he can’t cure a broken heart, which is what he’s got ever since Dave. And Diego - oh, Diego - Klaus loves him more than he thought it was possible to love another human being, and Diego - Diego - Diego is gonna leave him to save the goddamn world. Fuck, Klaus needs a drink.

(Comic Book Store) Five hates people, but he hates them even more when they’re dead. He’s crazy okay, he knows that - his best friend Dolores died in the first wave and he’s been pretending this mannequin he stole is her ever since. He buries himself in his comic books to distract himself from the doomsday sure to come soon enough, and finds solace in his family’s company - mostly Ben and Diego and Klaus. When Diego and Klaus are turned, Five is the one who has to burn their bodies… and that’s what makes him do it, really. End the world.

(Library) Ben has been researching zombies since long before they were real. One of them tried to bite him, but he dodged them, though only by leaping too close to a grenade. As he was dying from the gashes in his chest filled with shrapnel, Klaus found him and dragged him to safety inside the mall. They’d never met before that day, but now they’re partners, especially as it was one of Klaus’ wacky inventions that did and continues to save Ben’s life, implanted in his chest and keeping his lungs from being impaled by the shrapnel. Ben will always carry, both figuratively and literally, a piece of Klaus in his heart.

(Musical Shop) Vanya mostly stays in her music shop, playing violin by herself. Klaus likes to tweak all the other instruments so they play by themselves like ghosts. Vanya doesn’t let herself get bitten - but Leonard tried. And she made him pay. She spends her days with Sissy, trying to cheer up the beautiful woman she fell in love with when she first moved here… but Sissy is a shell of herself, sad and lost and lonely, and there’s nothing Vanya can do to change that, no matter how hard she tries. And she tries. So. Goddamn. Hard.

(Tech Store) Ray is just trying to get the wifi working again. He reads as many books as he can, mostly on civil rights movements and survivalist theory, but there’s not much time. If they want to send out a signal for help, someone has to brave the outside and reattach the antenna. And Ray knows, has always known, that that’s gonna be him.

(Martial Arts Studio) Lila used to be a martial arts teacher before all this shit went down. She watched her studio and students get ripped to shreds by zombies, and she could save nobody. She made it to the mall by pure luck, and is decorated in scars from scratches and attempted bites. She still practices her craft every day, training to break them out to somewhere safer. But the longer she spends here, the more she knows they’ll never make it - they’re all going to die for each other, in the end. And die for each other they do.

(Record Shop) Eudora used to be a cop. She’s always been on the side that’s moral, righteous, and good. So what’s she supposed to do now that she has to steal and kill to survive? (Make Diego do it for her, that’s how.) She’s bunkered down in the record store, blasting music throughout the mall randomly every day. She’s found out classical lulls the zombies to sleep and metal sends them running. But they always return, more feral than before. She falls so deeply in love with Lila she’s terrified to act on it, but in the end it doesn’t matter - Lila is bitten, and Eudora’s the one who has to burn her down.

(Cooking Store) Sissy is anxious and paranoid, having lost her son Harlan in the first wave of zombies. He ate her husband - not that she cared. He was a dick. But - but - her son. She drifts along like a ghost now, without him. Vanya loves her, and holds her, and takes care of her, but there’s just nothing that can be done. When the zombies finally get in, Sissy just bares her neck and gives in.

(Baby Boutique) Grace is a brilliant inventor and healer who taught Klaus everything he knows. She’s responsible for the shields and fences that keep the zombies out of the mall, and is working towards a cure for the zombie infection. Hopefully one she can dump out on the masses. She dies fighting off the zombies long enough for Ray to fix the antennae, feeling humanity slip out of her as she stares at the sun and moon, eclipsing in the distance. She figures a blind zombie is better than another seeing one.

(Evil CEO) Reginald invented the zombie serum, and he’s not sorry. It’s just a spot of fun that… got out of control, he guesses. He just had some people he needed to get rid of, and this way everyone would be focusing more on the oh-my-god-real-life-zombies part than the hold-up-were-they-murdered part. But then Ben figures it out. Reginald’s stupid, annoying, nerdy son figures it out. And what was Reginald to do? Just let him live? His Klaus-touched heart sits in Reginald’s bloody hand, and Reginald grins and shoves it in his mouth whole.

(Wedding Boutique) The Handler is that crazy bitch who wears wedding dresses every day. She always looks a bit sick, but she also always wears crazy make-up, so they just brush it off. Until one day Five catches her changing and sees the prominent bite marks all over her, proving she’s been bitten nearly six times over. She turns around and looks at him, sneers, and opens her gaping maw when he grabs a nearby candelabra and sets her hair on fire.

(Sports Store) Hazel and Cha-Cha are partners who have been here since the beginning of the apocalypse. Hazel used to be a girls’ soccer coach and Cha-Cha ran the boys’ football team at the same high school, but that’s all over now. Hazel’s been fucked up since Agnes died (only of natural causes. Ha!) and Cha-Cha’s seen her zombie walking around since then. She makes it her mission to shoot it down before Hazel sees it, and manages - but the two of them still go out in a blaze of glory together, sacrificing themselves to take out a horde of the undead just days before the mall falls.

(Woodworking Shop) Leonard got bitten in the third wave, just before entering the mall. He made it a week before they found out. He tried to bite Vanya and she pitched him over the side of the terrace. They use the logs from his wood shop to kill zombies who get too close, setting them on fire and hurling them into the masses.

(Thrift Shop) Dave was travelling with Klaus, the two of them rather involved, and got bitten just before he and Klaus made it to safety. Klaus had to kill him and has been depressed about it ever since, setting Dave’s body to rest in the thrift shop where Klaus does all his experiments. Five and Grace use the body as a test subject, but Klaus doesn’t need to know that. When he figures out how to make a zombie-killing nuke, he lays the button down with Dave, hoping they’ll never have to use it since it will most certainly destroy the world along with all the zombies. The last human left alive runs from the zombies towards the button. He presses it. The zombies close in, Five shuts his eyes, and the planet explodes into nothing.