#like people send me asks telling me about stuff i missed instead of talking to me to talk to me

[cloudcountry]

i think i may have created way to much pressure on myself when i tell people to send stuff that theyve tagged me in that i've missed. like yes i'd love to be able to read everything you guys send me but im gone most of the day now and its just not possible anymore. it kinda makes me sad because ive probably missed out on so much because of the sheer amount of things in my mentions.

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?

Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide

I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.

From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.

I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.

About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.

The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.

After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.

My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.

Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.

Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.

It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.

Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.

(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)

I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.

The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.

@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[yooglefics]

Reveal — Part three: celebrating

Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader )  Wordcount: 4,513 words Genre: 18+ / smut. mdni! remember to not use fics as your only source of sex ed.  Summary: Your birthday celebration takes a turn when Jungkook forgets to uninvite a particular guest. Part 3 of Recording & Editing. Read it in that order for context. More warnings under read more.

Includes: 3k words of just smut. Mentions of posting / selling sex content. Dirty talk. Use of pet names ( baby, doll, good girl? ). Fingering ( f ), Oral sex ( f and m ). Frottage. Cum play? A bit of overstimulation? Possessive Yoongi because Reveal!Yoongi is just like that and I can't do anything about it. It's true, I tried.  Author's note: Okay, I think this is actually the last one for this. A trilogy is fine, right? But also don't quote me on that because clearly I can't seem to know how to stop writing this pair and I'm watching Jungkook from a distance like 👀 but shhh Which speaking of, I was thinking and if you want to know more about the characters in this verse specifically, you can send an ask with “( reveal!verse )” at the beginning, maybe specify if you want it to be answered ic with “( @ reveal!theirname )” , and a question or whatever you want to say. Idk, thought it could be fun~ Also, I made a post with different options for tag lists in case anyone is interested. You know, for future projects and stuff. But don't feel preassure to request it, and thank you for following this mini series. Anyway. I hope you like this and if you do please remember to comment, reblog, ask, follow, and whatnot. And again, thank you for reading <3

“You know, you could reply instead of just staring at it,” Jungkook says, over your shoulder.

You're sitting in your living room, phone in your hand with the audio post on screen. There was no way of denying you were caught, you had already embarrassed yourself by acting like a schoolgirl when telling him about SugaD leaving a comment.

“But what if I say something dumb and he deletes it?”

“Why would he do that? He thinks you're cute,” he teases.

“The cutest,” you correct, silly smile on your face once again. 

“See. You should shoot your shot and talk to him, he clearly is interested in you too,” he winks, finally walking around the couch to sit at your side, fresh bowl of popcorn on his lap.

“But it's all so crazy. I don't even know how he found my page, he only follows big creators.”

“Well, he asked me.”

“What?”

“He asked who you were,” his Bambi eyes blink at you, fear creeping on his soft expression, “I… don't kill me, please.” He moves away from you and that makes you turn to him, leg over the couch and phone forgotten.

“Jungkook? What did you do?” All the scenarios go through your mind, imagining the worst. He told him you kind of have a big old crush on him even if you have never seen his face? Did he tell him about the joke of suing him because he is so—

“And I was busy so I thought, you know, he works with music and edits his own content and it seemed like a good idea,” he is talking so fast and you realize you missed the beginning of it, but before you can ask him to start over he just burst it, “so he edited it.”

“He what?”

“The audio. Your audio. He edited it.”

“My… audio.” The audio you're sure included the start of his video.

Fuck.

Shit.

That's so much worse.

You should delete your account. Delete yourself. You want to move to another country and change your name. 

“Fuck.”

“I'm sorry. I should have asked you, but I figured…” he trails off, coming closer again. “I just… I didn't think it was a big deal because… well, I didn't know he was gonna subscribe to you. He only subscribes to people he is friends with and I know he doesn't even watch their stuff.”

You can tell he is trying to make you feel better, and although you appreciate the effort, everything is confusing. Does that mean he wants to be friends? But he doesn't watch his friends's content so… no friends?

“Fuck.” You murmur again.

“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook asks softly, worrying the ring on his bottom lip. 

“I… don't know.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No. Let's finish the movie.”

But you can concentrate for the rest of it, and know that you'd have to watch it again another time in case your friend brings up something important about the plot. But now, the only thing in your head is theories about what you're going to do about that one particular comment and, again, you consider just deleting the whole thing.

Jungkook invites you the next weekend to the restaurant, it's his free day but he tells you he can get you the birthday special even if it’s one day early and he can even sing for you. You tell him you are only going if he doesn't make a whole thing out of it. You'd wear the birthday hat and blow out the candles, but if he dares to bring more attention to you, you actually will kill him.

He believes you. 

And so, here you are. Sitting in a booth in front of Jungkook and Hanna, your best friend. Big chocolate cake in front of you that they insisted on getting because “you can have it for dessert for the next week and think about how much we love you”, and also because you love chocolate.

“Sorry. Am I late?” A voice behind you interrupts the end of the birthday song, your smile falling because you could recognize it anywhere, and the fact that he is here makes you panic.

“Oh, shit… ah…” Jungkook stumbles over his words, even comes close to knocking his drink. “Sorry. Hi.” He greets the guy and throws an apologetic look your way. “This is my friend Yoongi.”

“Oh, hi. I'm Hanna and didn't know we were waiting for someone, but good thing we got a big cake, uh?” she jokes and looks at you. She does that whenever you're around people and you don't talk, her way of making you feel included. 

But right now you want to disappear. Birthday crown and all. Maybe take the cake too.

“Hi,” you say timidly, eyes on Jungkook instead.

“I…” he starts, remorseful look on his face as he explains, “invited Yoongi last week, didn't want to third wheel with you two.”

“Oh, that's fun! Well, you want to sit there or should I move?” Hanna proposes and you're about to say she should come to your side even if that means Jungkook has to stand up too, but Sug— Yoongi speaks faster.

“I’ll sit here. Is that okay?” 

You only nod, scooting to your right to make space for him. To not be so close he notices how nervous he makes you just with his presence.

He smells nice. Fresh and woody at the same time, and is only overwhelming because is him. Because a lot of things about him are a mystery still and you are about to unlock them all right now.

“Those are cute,” Hanna says.

“Ah, yes. I… these are for you,” a bouquet is presented on your line of vision. Is not big nor too much, the perfect size to be a nice present and it lets you admire the flowers’ beauty. “Happy birthday.”

“You didn't have to.”

“You don't like it?” If you weren't so focused on your own nerves you'd have noticed the ones on his voice.

“I do.” You quickly say. It's cute. The lavender mixed with two types of white flowers you don't recognize but you love the look of, mostly the one that looks like little stars. “Is really pretty. Thank you.”

“I'll bring you a drink,” Jungkook says, and looking at him you know he needs one himself. You could actually kill him after this.

“Wait, where is the restroom?” Asks Hanna and your eyes lift from your present so fast your neck almost hurts, but she is quickly disappearing in the direction Jungkook points her to.

And that's what you get for keeping everything a secret from your best friend. Karma as its finest.

“Pff,” you breathe, sinking into your seat. 

“I can go if you want me to,” Yoongi says softly at your side.

“What? No, no is—” you try to explain is not him. Nothing is wrong actually. Everything is perfect and you're totally not freaking out.

“You haven't looked my way,” does he sounds hurt? “Is alright. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just thought… I don't know. JK invited me weeks ago and then I found out who you were,” you cringe at that, knowing he most likely means when he listened to your audio. “I figured I'd take the chance and meet you.”

“Why? I mean. Don't you feel uncomfortable because of the…” finishing your sentence feels unnecessary and saying it at loud is embarrassing.

“The fact that you watch my videos?”

“I swear I only watched like three and I don't do that with all of them is just— Are you laughing?” Finally you turn to him, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Sorry, sorry. But is that supposed to make me feel better?” 

You don't answer. 

“Of course I don't mind.” He leans in, "If you sound that cute, I'll let you watch all of them for free.”

Breath caughts on your throat, looking at him with big round eyes. His face is right there and you try to take it all in. Clean shaved, jawline not too harsh and with soft features, crested moon shaped brown eyes, pink lips, and the way they curve up when he catches you staring at them.

“I don't want to go, but if you want me to, I'll do it.” he backs out, and somehow you can tell he is genuine.

“Stay.”

After dinner and some chatting, Jungkook offers to drive Hanna home and Yoongi takes you to his place. It’s fancy, looks like taken out of a magazine and you tell him exactly that. He asks you if you want to judge his room too and with a laugh you tell him yes, because honestly, you're curious now.

You tell him it doesn't look too cozy and suggest investing in a nice blanket, he raises an eyebrow at you and finally you confess you're an interior designer by day. He tells you he is a music producer. And then you talk about how and why each of you decided to join OF and what kind of things you have discovered you like during that journey.

“Interesting,” he says when you confess you started following him because of a hand picture you saw somewhere else. He has been playing with your fingers while you lay on his bed, is relaxing and you don’t mind at all. “You said you were going to sue me, should I even be this close?” 

“Oh my—” you pull away, covering your face. And he laughs. “Go away.”

“No, c'mon. It's cute.” He tries to turn your body to its side, but you don't give in. “Look at me, please.”

“No. I can't.”

“Why?”

“Because no.”

He laughs again, hand on your hip, “Baby, please?” Head shake is your answer, “I'm sorry. Should I confess something too?” 

“Yes.”

“Let's see,” he props himself on his elbow, looking at you even if you are still covered. “I knew about you before the audio.”

“You did?”

“Well, Jungkook talks about you all the time and I was curious. I think it was the third time you guys collabed that I saw a picture and he mentioned your name on his page.”

“Which picture?” You ask, uncovering half your face to look at him, he smiles.

“The one with the books. You were holding one in front of you.”

You remember that. Like all your pictures with Jungkook, it was suggestive more than anything and in that one the pose made it look like you were touching yourself.

“And now I know what you sound like doing that,” he teases, “wonder if I'd be lucky enough to see it someday.”

“You've to stay subscribed and see,” is your turn to have fun.

“Should I make another instruction video for you?” or maybe not. And before you cover yourself again, he holds your wrist, bracelet digging a little on your skin but not enough to actually hurt. “Don't. Let me see you.”

“Yoongi…”

“Fuck. Don't say my name like that,” is only half joking, but he knows you can tell he wants you just as much. “Can I kiss you?” 

You nod and his lips touch yours in a millisecond. They are soft, but his movements are quick, and soon his tongue is asking for permission to enter your mouth. With a moan, you granted happily and hungry to taste him. 

His hand goes back to your waist, only resting before squishing it gently. Your own hand traveling to his nape and bringing him closer, your chests touching.

In need of air you break the kiss, and instead of stopping, his mouth keeps working down your jaw and neck, “ohh…” you try to breathe, throwing your head back just enough to give him space. It feels so good you don't want to stop.

And he doesn't. He continues until he reaches the fabric of your dress, covering your chest. He imagines your little gold collar he saw in some pictures. He thinks about buying you one on silver to match his own jewelry or buying a chain for himself the color of yours. Anything would do, he just wants you to be his and for people to know.

“W-wait,” your voice brings him back, and he stops immediately, “don't leave marks. At least not visible.”

“Okay, I can get creative.” A wink seals his promise and his hand moves to the buttons in the front of your dress, his lips following soon behind to attach themselves to the exposed skin. To your breast. He licks and kisses and when he reaches your nipple he flicks his tongue a few times. 

That gets a good reaction from you, but he still asks “You like that?” because it does good to his ego and the mid-erection on his pants.

You nod between whimpers and can feel his laugh through his chest resting on your stomach, “is that enough?” You look at him, the lust on his eyes and his stupid smirk on his lips when he frees your abused skin from his mouth, leaving a bruise on your breast. “Is my tongue enough to make you cum, doll?” 

And your pussy answers for herself. Legs impossibly close in search of some friction and, of course, Yoongi noticed.

“You need something?”

“P-please…”

“Tell me. I'll give you anything, baby.” His voice is raspy like on the videos you watch alone at night. Except is not through a screen and is actually directed to you. Is everything you wanted while touching yourself and for a second you wonder if it's really happening.

Running your hand through his hair you look at him, now lower on the bed and playing with the bottom of your dress while he waits for a sign between your folded legs, cheek against your thigh, letting you catch your breath. 

“Yoongi?” 

“Hmm?” his hand stops on your leg, heavy and warm.

“Touch me, please.”

And you don't have to tell him twice. His hands roam your body, while he leaves kisses here and there. Too desperate to finish unbuttoning it, the bottom of your dress gets pooled at your waist, revealing the lilac lingerie he saw a picture of the other day. 

“So pretty,” he whispers, fingertips traising the embroidered details. It makes you shiver. “Fuck, I can see how wet you are.” His movements travel south to the patch over your entrance, and you respond just as he expects, moaning.

And before you can get used to that, his tongue is on you, flat over the wet and thin fabric. “Can't wait to taste you properly,” sounds a lot like a promise.

Biting your lip, you contemplate asking him to hurry, to give you anything. To get rid of all of your clothes yourself.

But he knows exactly how to drive you crazy. 

Moving your panties to the side with the help of his left hand, the fingers on his right one make an appearance again. Collecting your wetness and using it to rub over your pussy, only applying little pressure at first. Moans echo throughout his room once again, louder and this time in the company of a couple groans from him when he finally pushes in. 

“O-oh… oh my,”

“That's it. Let me hear your pretty sounds,” he encourages, letting you get used to the sensation before adding another one, his eyes on you the whole time. In the way you lick your lips before moaning, the way your hips move towards his hand asking to be fucked, the way your pussy wraps around his fingers. 

“...more.” Is barely a whisper but he hears it, smiling at you.

“Want more? Is not enough?”

“Need you, please” 

And how can he say no to you when you look at him that way. Like he is the only one that can give you what you need, how you want. 

His head disappears between your legs, mouth watering at the thought. He can't even deny he was waiting for you to ask him to eat you out, he would do it in a second, whenever you want, because “oh, god, you taste so sweet.” 

Feeling your legs closing he holds them back, pushing them against your torso with his free hand and squishing your soft skin just as tight as you are doing to his fingers. Thinking about how much force he would need to apply to leave a mark.

“F-fu… fuck. It, it feels so good, please.”

He is proud, lips curving lightly but without wanting to pull away to smile properly. His tongue laps at your entrance alongside his fingers, moving faster and faster, against that spot that makes your body tremble and makes the knot at the bottom of your abdomen want to scream.

“Please, please, please…” 

And he knows what that means. Knows you're close and just need a little push, and he gives it to you in the form of a “Cum for me, baby.”

And you do. Head back and pussy tight around him, legs closing and hand pushing him away when his tongue keeps working, overstimulating and catching all that you give him.

“Oh… my…” you breath. Legs still shaking but feet finally on the mattress again. 

He is standing at the end of his bed, one hand pushing his long hair back and the other unbuckling his belt, eyes on you while he takes you in. “Was that good?” He asks, you nod and he smiles matching yours. “Great. You deserve it.” 

“You want some help with that?” 

“What do you want?” Yoongi throws back, “You’re the birthday girl, after all.”

Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, thoughts filled with ideas of the things you had wished to be able to do before, you watch him get rid of his jeans and boxers, his dick on full view for you. Only you. “Can I suck you off?”

Obviously, he can't say no, so he nods and you are quick to stand up, legs still feeling a bit weak after your orgasm, but it isn't a problem because as quick as your dress falls completely to the floor, you're kneeling in front of him, between his legs and hands on his tights.

You watch him stroke himself a couple times through gritted teeth, his other hand coming to cup your cheek as you get closer to his length. Saying you had been waiting for this wouldn't be an exaggeration, and without breaking eye contact you stick your tongue out, touching the blush tip slowly. 

He sighed, as if he was, too, relieved at the contact. “So pretty.” 

You push his hand away, taking his hardened length into your hand, only realizing then how big he actually is.

Tapping his dick on your tongue gets you a groan from him and you hum as you wrap your lips around the head, circling your tongue around it inside your mouth before letting go. He smiles at you, his chest moving fast as his breathing increases and his eyes are filled with lust. Your hand moves up and down when your mouth is not working, still wanting him to feel good.

Preparing yourself, you get closer again, taking more in and closing your eyes, adjusting to the girth. 

“Fuck,” he moans, thumb softly stroking your face as his hand moves to the back of your neck when you imitate the previous movements of your hand, going up and down, taking more and more into your mouth. “Y-yeah, just like that.”

The encouragement helps the feeling on your lower abdomen to build in again, pussy squeezing around nothing and moaning around his dick, making Yoongi clench his jaw, bucking his hip up, and letting his grip go only at the last second. He wants to fuck your mouth so bad. Only watching your lips around him is driving him crazy and you feel oh, so warm. 

“So pretty, doll,” he compliments as you try to keep your eyes on him as much as possible, only closing them when he hits the back of your throat. 

You come up, catching your breath as you let your hand do some more work. Collecting your spit and rubbing your thumb on his sensitive tip. He reacts just as you expect, groans and head tilted back slightly, with his hands on either side gripping the black sheets. And that gives you an idea. 

“Can you…” eyes are on you immediately, but you wish they weren't because that makes you shy and is even more difficult to ask.

“Tell me, baby.” He pleads, “I'll give you anything, just ask.”

But is easier to show than tell, and your fingers grab around one of his wrists, positioning his hand on the back of your head. “Just… hold it.” 

“Fuck.” He has to inhale quickly before nodding, are you reading his mind? “tap my thigh if it gets too much, okay?”

A nod of your own, licking your lips before taking his dick in your mouth once again, the simple weight of his hand being enough to encourage you to take more in and staying there a bit longer before bobbing your head.

Yoongi alternates between letting you follow your own peace and holding you down for a few more seconds every once in a while, finally letting himself slam his hips more harshly against your mouth and the back of your throat. His moans fill the air as he pushes into you. “feels amazing… you take my cock so well.” You hum, making his hips fuck into you at the vibration, increasing the tension on his lower abdomen. “Such a good girl.”

“I could fuck your pretty mouth all night,” he goes on, looking down at you and all the mess you've created between his legs. “Oh f-fuck. What a beautiful sight.” opening your eyes makes the view even better, and he holds your head down, making you gag around his dick, “ah… ah…” he lets go, not wanting to come just yet.

And it might be the first time you see him and his beautiful dick in person, but SugaD’s last video is fresh on your mind, —how could it not after the anxiety of him finding out— so you remember he likes to hold back. And is hot. But he is right, is your birthday celebration and you don't want to play by his rules.

“Are you close?” the hoarseness in your voice is surprising for a second, but you don't have time to think about how it's most likely going to hurt tomorrow because he is fixing your hair behind your ears with a devious smile on his beautiful face.

“Want me to come in your pretty mouth?”

“No.” He raises an eyebrow at the quickness of your answer. “I have an idea.”

Standing up, your knees thank you, only realizing then you'll also have to deal with that later, being so in your head while giving head, the weight of having him in your mouth a priority, that you didn't even care until then. 

You're back laying on his bed, pulling Yoongi to be in front of you, between your legs. “Is going to be embarrassingly fast if you ask me to fuck you right now.”

And for a second you consider it. Because he is not saying no and because he looks so good like this, hands reaching down to hold your waist and bring you closer to him down the bed. But you shake your head no. “You ruined my plans today,” feeling the need to justify your pervy desires you explain, “I was supposed to take pics today for my birthday post, so now you have to help.”

“You want me to take pictures of you?” also not saying no, just clarifying, and you can see in the lust of his gaze he likes the idea.

“I want you to do something first,” shyness invades again but looking down at his hardened length is enough to deliver the message, “and then take a picture. If you want.”

Yoongi is close to you again, bending down to kiss you with a “fuck yes, I want to.” His dick is resting over your pelvis, and you can't help the involuntary thrust your own body does. It feels heavy, and warm, and just so perfect. And when he thrust his hips, frotting against yours, you can't take it.

“Y-yoongi,” and he does it again and again, and soon you're cumming by just the feeling and the thought of how would it be to be actually fucked by him, how much would he reach inside you, making you feel so full and “Ohhh… oh”

He holds you and kisses down your neck as you come down your high a second time, before kneeling once more at the end of the bed. “You look so fucking precious, baby,” he notes, hand wrapping around his dick once more.

“You look great too,” you offer, biting your lip before letting honesty take over shyness, “I finally get to see you.”

“You been thinking about it?” He knows exactly what you mean. The reason he cuts it off his videos isn't just for privacy, is to give people something to wish for, to yearn.

You nod.

“Baby wants to see me cum?” Another nod, lost for words, but he is not having it. “Tell me.”

“Yoongi…”

“C'mon, baby. Tell me,” he taps his dick over your clothed pussy. Once, twice. Making your body jump at each touch. He teases the tip over your over-sensitive area and then taps again. Honestly, is hard to tell if he is teasing you or himself, but either works.

“I-I want to see you, please.”

His wrist moves in a faster rhythm, his other hand resting on your leg because he just needs to touch you. “Yeah? I'm going to cum,” he pants, “and you're going to show people how gorgeous you look covered on it.” 

You really don't know how much he loves the idea of that, how much he wants to show the world you let him ruin you, how you whisper “please, please,” as he finishes, head thrown back and your name escaping his lips on a moan, shooting white over your naked stomach.

But you can imagine, his victory smile gives him away. And the way he keeps complimenting you all the while grabbing his phone and snapping picture after picture just confirms it.

But you can judge Yoongi too harshly, it does something to you as well. It helps your confidence and a proud smile matches his as he tells you people are going to hate him if you really post this on your page. And that newfound confidence tells you is going to be the first time you click upload without second-guessing yourself.

[     afterhours(y/n):     Thank you for the birthday wishes!     I indeed got a nice present, don't you think?            [ picture ]                                                                          ]

[    SugaD:     Unbelievable 😻     Can we do something for my birthday too?                                                                                                                   ]

♡ Tag list: @m00njinnie , @sexytholland , @seoullove96 , @thelilbutifulthings , @disneyprincessshuri , @yoongibaybee ,

Thank you so much guys for your interest and support on this little series, I appreciate you 🥺💙

➪ Part one. | ➪ Part two | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi

➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡

[finniestoncrane]

General!Harley x GN!Reader, word count: 1k commission: yippee!! thank you @unlucky-words for the treat of getting to write for harley again!! reader and harley have reuinted finally after meeting in college. now there's no criminal activity in the way of them hitting it off finally 🩷 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: fluff and flirting!!

Sometimes, the best place to come to feel alone was a busy bar on the weekends. Where you could get a drink, people watch, and feel assured that no one was going to interrupt the loner in the corner from whatever it was they were thinking over silently.

Not that night though. That night was not a solitary affair.

"Shut the fuck up!"

The shrill voice rang out over the top of the crowd, parting them like waves as the small but powerful source of the noise began to barrel towards you.

"This is like, kismet or somethin'!"

Before you could quite get your bearings, you were no long quietly sipping your drink at the table in the corner. Instead, you were being accosted, an immediately recognisable figure approaching your table, one you knew wasn't going to leave in a hurry, and not without a lot of talking first. And you weren't the least bit bothered by that. If it had been anyone else, you would have been. But not her, never her.

"Harley! Wow!"

You wanted to ask how she'd been, but you knew. It was impossible not to know. She was at the centre of most of the news in Gotham, even now, long after her highly publicised and very volatile break up with the Joker. Asking her what she had been up to or how she was feeling these days were both minefield subjects. And she seemed to know this herself as she began laughing and waved off your expression, surprise, shock and confusion all weighing heavily on your features.

"Yeah, yeah, I know! What's a gal like me doing in a reputable establishment such as this one? I could ask the same about you, y'know."

She elbowed your side, pushing you over so she could ease her way into the long bench seating beside you. Once she was close enough, she immediately pressed her body into yours, holding you in a hug so tight that her arms around you felt like a cage, her sweet smelling hair in your face.

"So! How have you been?"

Trying to avoid too much of anything that might sound like bragging, considering you were talking to someone who had gone through the worst and had been incarcerated several times since you had last been in touch with her, you filled Harley in on what you'd been doing since your time together at Gotham University.

She listened intently, so enthusiastic, asking questions, prying a little. You knew to expect that though. You knew Harley well, having gone through your doctoral programmes together. You'd seen her at her best and her worst, and everything in between.

"You don't gotta ask me how I've been doing, I'm sure that's everybody's news by now. But I can tell you the juicy stuff none of them know."

She winked, nudging you with her elbow again, an exaggerated smile as she tapped her nose. Instead of divulging any information that might have you on a list somewhere, she instead shared all of the good news from the past few months. Her time with the Birds of Prey seemed to really be good for her, and the excitement as she spoke about this new chapter of her life was palpable. You were happy for her, smiling along as she enthusiastically detailed her new apartment and what kind of stuff she was hoping to do with her new friends.

It felt like no time had passed between you both at all. Everything felt so easy with her, and it always had. There was no difficulty in talking to her, partly because she could have kept a conversation going in an empty room, but also because she made you so comfortable that the usual nerves and social anxiety that could plague a conversation just dissipated.

"I gotta be honest with you, though... I've missed ya."

"You have? You've been so busy though, I didn't think you'd have time to miss anyone, let alone me."

"Are you kidding!?"

She slapped your arm, a playful gesture, but with her surprising strength behind it, it kind of stung a little. Sensing that she might have been a bit too rough, she placed her palm against you, stroking your arm softly as she smiled. The gentle expression seemed so different to how she had been the rest of the night. It was genuine, vulnerable almost. A glimpse into her true self. The one you had spent long nights with in the library, crying and laughing together.

"Y'know, I always knew you'd be the one who did it right. I think that's why I missed you so much. You kept me on the straight and narrow, and then I took a big left turn into complete chaos."

You laughed as she did, although a sudden pang of guilt crossed over your mind. What if you had been able to pull her back? Would she be different? You didn't have time to dwell on that nasty little 'what if', however, as Harley was grabbing your hand and looking into your eyes with a strange sincerity.

"Not your fault or mine. Shit happens, huh? But... if it didn't seem too much like I was piggybacking on your good vibes... maybe we could, like, start fresh or somethin'?"

It took you a moment to reply. You were too busy thinking about how much fun you had with Harley, and how much you potentially could have now that you had been reunited with her.

"It can't be that hard to decide... you worried I might make you put on some clown makeup and rob a bank?"

You weren't. But who knew? If Harley asked, maybe you would.

"I'd like that Harley. The... start over thing! Not the circus themed heist."

She leaned in and placed a soft kiss to your cheek, standing up from the table and leaving you with a card, her number hastily scribbled onto it.

"Good. It's a date then, sweetie!"

[weebsinstash]

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

[cursingtoji]

I hope it's okay to send another one of the cliches in! (I absolutely ADORED the Toji one you did! Perfection, pure perfection) I saw you wanted some Itachi and I feel like 23 is just so perfect for him. Maybe adding prompt 12 with it too? (Feel free to ignore if we can only send in one ask though!

𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒖𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔

⊱ plus touching foreheads; The Clichés ™ event

note: bless you darling for giving me the chance to write for my beloved itachi

A warm night embraces you as you walk amongst the villagers with a basket of ingredients for your dinner. A million thoughts go by your head and you aren't quite aware of your surroundings until you focus on your path ahead and notice a familiar figure walking towards you.

You gasp once you notice who it is, dropping your basket.

"Itachi?" panic threats to take over you, he can't be seen here, yet no one else seems to have noticed the most wanted ninja standing in the middle of the busy street.

"Hello, angel."

"Am I in a genjutsu?"

"No," he leans, taking your basket from the ground and handing it back to you, "But everyone else is."

"Isn't it too risky?" your eyes wander through his pretty features, realizing that it has been a few months since the last time he sneaked in the village to see you. Tonight he doesn't have his usual cloak, instead he wore a gray shirt and no bandana, you reached for his hair, brushing it away from his face.

Itachi takes your hand delicately, kissing your fingers, "You're worth it."

You take one step closer, touching his forehead with yours and breathing in his scent.

"I missed you" you confess, it's a weird feeling being so intimate to him in public, you can hear people talking around you, buying and selling goods, kids running, playing ninja, but you thrust his skills.

"I'm afraid I can't stay much longer, angel" he holds your hand tightly, his face is the same as the boy you knew years ago, yet his dark circles look deeper every time you see him.

"Let me take care of you, 'tachi" you beg, wanting nothing more than to take him home with you, have a bath, wash each other's hair, make tea and kiss every inch of him in a fresh bed, loving and being loved by him till morning eventually comes.

"There's nothing I want more" he confesses and you know it's true, but his tone indicates that will not be possible tonight.

"Promise me you will be back soon" you know it's hard for him to catch a break to come here, besides all the risk he takes getting into the village he still has to mislead his fellow akatsuki members so they won't find out about his Konoha love, making a potential target out of you in case things go south.

"I'll try my best" he brings both his hands to your face and takes his time admiring your face until his eyes eventually fall onto your lips, he misses your kisses more than anything else he had in konoha.

Your eyes close but right before he can kiss you he feels a disturbance, like someone is beginning to notice the genjutsu.

"Sorry, angel, I must go now" he lets go of you and you sigh, "I love you" you watch him walk backwards until he fades like smoke.

"Sensei!" you hear a yell and look over your shoulder seeing Naruto and the rest of team seven coming towards you, Kakashi looks around suspiciously.

"Naruto, hi" you greet and the boy begins to tell you about the mission they just came back from. You try to dismiss the look Kakashi has on you.

"Were you shopping?" Naruto notices your basket.

"Yeah, just some stuff for dinner" you open your basket to show him, but you're surprised by a bouquet of flowers lingering on the inside.

"Wow, is it a romantic dinner?" Sakura inquires.

"Now, now, kids, you gotta wake up early tomorrow for training” Kakashi claps once, making the kids whine. You look at Sasuke, noticing the similar features with the man that was there just a few seconds ago.

Sasuke meets your gaze, you dismiss the nostalgic feeling by ruffling his hair.

“Good luck, guys.”

see also: “what if someone see us?” + Jiraiya

[sunshine-theseus]

Follow | Alex Chidiac x Reader

Word count: 2.3k Summary: you hate Alex Chidiac. Until you don’t Warnings: angst, fluff, I swear I’ll try to do non-angsty stuff soon this is for @charligrantismygirlfriend - feel free to send requests

Alexandra Chidiac made me want to rip my hair out and simultaneously smash my lips against her own. She was just so full of herself and insulting and… extremely beautiful and funny. But she had a way of making me despise her without even trying.

And it seemed that wherever I went, she would follow.

The first time we’d played together outside The Matildas was in Madrid.

In the 2017/18 January transfer window, I moved from Perth Glory to play for Atletico Madrid. 7 months later and Alex was sat in the cubby next to me in the locker room, telling jokes and connecting with the team, something I’d been struggling with despite having been there significantly longer and being able to speak Spanish.

During my time at Atletico, I had become reserved and preferred to stick to only going between my house and the training grounds, even if asked to join for celebrations or team bonding. It’s when I began to hate Alex.

Then during Covid, I’d decided to move back to Australia. Melbourne City had been the closest club to my hometown that had made an offer, so I packed my bags and went back to Australia. How I’d missed the news that Alex was moving there too was beyond me, but I found myself in a similar situation as Madrid. I was excited to play with some girls I was already friends with and have people to spend time with between quarantine and games. But Alex had managed to capture everyone’s attention again. The friends I had, began to rush over to Alex instead of me and I’d be left desperately searching for a partner in warmups because they wanted to be around her.

Then she was put on loan to Melbourne Victory for the next few years and I managed to escape her presence outside of National camps and games for a while. People liked to ask why I avoided her so much, especially Tony and Sam, because “getting along with the whole team is important”. I never really had an answer.

It was really only toward the end of the World Cup that the ‘rivalry’, as I so graciously named it, began actually affecting my game play and the team as a whole.

Alex and I were paired up for some exercises, but I was stubborn. She was so annoying.

So stupid, so rude, so pretty, her smile was so bright. I don’t understand why I have a crush on someone I despise so deeply.

So, while doing some passing and skill practice, I found myself playing and passing harsher than required as Alex made small comments about my abilities. And when Alex made a joke about it to Kyra and Mini who were next to us, both of whom told me off and to get over my issues with Alex, I’d made the decision I was done.

“Do you get off on making me feel shit?” I approach Alex, my finger poking her chest.

“Do you enjoy making sure I’m alone wherever I go? Did I do something to you 6 years ago that I’m unaware of that made you feel like you had to take everyone from my life?” I could feel 36 pairs of eyes on me. Have the whole crew always sat out with us?

I don’t get much time to think about it.

“Me?! You’re the one who’s always been in some fucking mood with me. Ever since Madrid you’ve just ignored any situation where I’m around. You hate me for no reason!”

“I only ignore you because you isolate me from every single team we’re on together. You show up and take my friends away from me and then have the audacity to shit talk my playing ability while I’m right in front of you but of course I’m the bad guy here. I’ll always be the bad guy!”

I then sarcastically add, “Oh and thank you Kyra and Mini for standing up for me. It’s really appreciated”. They look at the ground.

“Maybe I wouldn’t say that shit if you didn’t let your unwarranted emotions take a hold of you. You’re sloppy.” My arm is swinging before I can think of any consequences, but it’s caught midair, and I notice the familiar ‘20’ and kangaroo tattoos adoring my captain’s fingers.

“Let’s take a fucking walk.” I’m about to protest, say that Alex deserves to have a talking to as well, but Sam starts pushing me towards the tunnel before I can get anything out.

“Dude what the fuck is going through your head. I’ve known you for 7 years and you’ve never done anything like this.” I shrug in response.

“We play England tomorrow, and you’re a consistent starter, but if you and Alex are going to squabble like this and jeopardise us as a team, you might be benched for the rest of the cup.”

“You’re fucking kidding me. Sam you can’t do that!” We’ve reached the locker room.

“Y/n, you nearly punched Alex. I might be your friend but right now I’m you’re captain. I have to do what is best for the team.”

“Yeah… right… maybe I should head back to the hotel. It’s probably best I take a break.” Sam sighs and pulls me into a hug.

“I know you feel alone and that we’re against you, but I promise we aren’t. I’m going to talk to Alex with Tony. She’ll probably be sent back with you. You should talk, like adults and teammates. If you show that you won’t be distracted tomorrow, I’ll talk to Tony about subbing you on at half time or something. I do wish you’d mentioned how you feel earlier. Like years ago, earlier.” I simply nod.

“Thanks Sammy. I really am sorry for today. The team didn’t deserve that.”

Sam pats my back before going back down the tunnel and onto the pitch to talk to Alex and Tony, leaving me to get changed and get an uber back to the hotel.

~~~~~

It’s only about 40 minutes after I get to mine and Sam’s room at the hotel that I hear a knocking on the door. At first, I think it’s someone who has the wrong room, but they don’t stop knocking and soon I’m groaning as I drag my sock clad feet to the door to look through the peep hole. And there stands a slightly distorted Alex Chidiac who seems awfully nervous as she looks up and down the hallway.

“I know you’re in there Y/n! You know Sam said we have to talk so let’s talk.”

 She goes to knock again but I’m already swinging the door open.

“Yeah whatever let’s get it over with.” We move to sit down on the two beds facing each other.

It’s silent for a moment and neither of us look at the other, fiddling with our hands and the bed sheets. Alex is the first to break the silence.

“I don’t understand why you hate me so much or why you think I’m trying to turn people against you. I was super excited to join you in Madrid in 2018, to have someone I already knew, but you were always so cold.”

How do you tell someone after 6 years that you started hating them because you were jealous? That it took you 7 months to even feel comfortable at the club, just for it to be stripped away within the first week of them joining.

“I hate you because everyone loves you so much!” she gives me a confused look.

“I mean, it took me months to start fitting in at Atletico and you just swooped in and made everyone adore you and they stopped even trying to talk to me. And then when you followed me to City, all my friends I already had, dropped me to follow you around like lost puppies. I spent years alone because you were Ms Perfect to everyone, and I wasn’t social enough or carefree or noticeable or funny. Sam was all I had, and she wasn’t even really there. I don’t know.” I rub at my eyes to stop the tears that are inevitably forming behind them.

“And then you made those comments today and Kyra and Kat said nothing to defend me, they told me to get over it, and that was it for me. If I always have to be the bad guy in everyone’s story, I’ll be the bad guy”.

Alex reaches for my hand and I don’t pull back.

“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I-” she pauses and seems to contemplate what she says next.

“What?”

“I followed you to Madrid and Melbourne because I liked you. I wanted to be with you, get to know you better. But after that year in Melbourne is seemed clear you hated me so I signed with JEF and went on loan to Victory.”

“Y- you liked me?”

“Well, it was hard not to. I still do. It was hard seeing you be so kind to everyone else, every time you played you looked so angelic, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’m sorry I made you feel like you were the bad guy. I should have talked to you about it all when we were in Madrid.”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me. Please. I like you too. Like so much and I’m sorry for being so horrible and cold to y-” I’m cut off my Alex, who pulls me up and grabs my face.

She’s significantly shorter than me so I have to lean down but I kiss her, hard.

“I’d say we talked enough to please Sam and Tony, right?” she whispers against my lips as my thumb traces the light freckles on her cheeks.

“Absolutely.”

She waists no time on pulling me down on the bed and as we giggle, cuddle and kiss, we loose track of time.

Before I know it, Sam is bursting through the door.

“I’m baaack you better have talked to Chi- o…h” she stumbles over her own bag as she sees Alex curled up against me, now fast asleep, as I trace shapes on her arm.

“Ok I know I said you gotta work it out, but this isn’t what I meant.” She plops down on her bed.

“Y-  yeah I wasn’t expecting it but she has a way with words.”

“Two hours ago her ‘way with words’ made you try to punch her in the face.”

“Yeah well, things changed.”

“Stay right there! I’m taking a picture to send to the group chat.”

“What!? Sam no!”

“Oh no not the team group chat” I sigh in relief. “The one with Kristie, E.V.E and Kate (emily’s wife)”

“SAM NO!” I try to slide my arm out from under Alex to grab Sam’s phone but it’s a worthless cause when the familiar sound of a message being sent is heard.

“I’m going to kill you when Alex wakes up.”

“Yuh huh ok. I’m going to call Kristie.”

“Tell her I say hi! And I hope Sammy M is doing well.”

~~~~~

Four days pass. We got knocked out by England and Sweden, finishing fourth overall in the World Cup. We all sat on the field as we watched Sweden get their bronze medals, I held Alex close to my side as I held Sam’s hand. We keep getting so close before a medal is ripped right from our grasp and we were all beginning to get tired of it, but Sam was taking it the hardest.

“I’m so proud of you Sammy. You weren’t even sure you’d get to play at the start, but you came back and lead us this far. We’re going to get to the Olympics and win the whole fucking thing.” She kisses me on the head before getting up to hug some of the girls before trying to find Kristie and her family in the crowd.

“I’m proud of you too.” I hear Alex whisper beside me.

I pull her up and hug her tight.

“I’ll always be proud of you too Al.”

I know there is a camera next to us but I kiss her anyway. Now I have her, I won’t let go of her any time soon.

~~~~~

Alex and I spend some time alone over the short rest of our break, only going between the beach that she unreasonably hated, and her apartment. We’d met up with Sam and Kristie for a sort of double date, before they both left to America for Sam’s birthday, and bid farewell to all the other girls who had to fly back to their respective clubs.

It was my last day before I had to fly back to my club. I’d been cooking dinner for a rather helpless Alex when her arms wrapped around my waist.

“I’m going to miss you so much when you leave.” She groans as she peppers kisses across my back.

I think I feel a hint of a smile on her lips but decide not to think too far into it.

“I’m going to miss you too. Especially your lips. And your cute freckles. And you’re pretty green eyes. Every. Single. Thing.” I peck her lips after each sentence.

“I promise to call every day.” I let out a hum.

“You can barely remember to have breakfast.”

“Hey! For you I’ll remember anything.” I just smile and kiss her once more.

Tomorrow I’d have to say goodbye, unable to see her for months on end.

~~~~~

“You’re fucking kidding me!” is yelled across the Tigres locker room as our late transfer walks through the door.

It’s non other than Alexandra Chidiac. My girlfriend who I thought I’d left behind to continue out her loan for Melbourne Victory after the world cup.

She won’t stop fucking following me.

[halemerry]

I read your meta on the manipulation the Metatron used on Aziraphale, and it was such a great essay laying out every detail. When I watched the end of the episode it was early morning for me and I was super tired and I missed a lot of those details. What did manage to come through in my sleepy mind, was that I was very confused about Why This Happened? As in, I understand now that Az was manipulated, I definitely agree with that analysis, but I don't understand yet if this decision was foreshadowed anywhere in the first 5 and a half episodes. I haven't rewatched the season yet (too busy reading meta lol) but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that?

I just feel like, other than Aziraphale saying in the first episode that it's nice sometimes to tell someone about something good you've done, now that he's not reporting to heaven, Az doesn't actually seem to care all that much in the present day about his old allegiance. I wonder if maybe that's part of the point? He didn't want Heaven anymore and so he wasn't thinking about it? After all, the show begins with Aziraphale enjoying his new life. As the interviews said, he's living his best life. Good music, good food, and the love of his life.

Because if that's genuinely the case, then perhaps the point of the season is that the soft gentle romance of the first five episodes is Who They Are, and it's just that Aziraphale was rushed and manipulated into something he genuinely did not want even a little bit.

Or maybe he always thought he could fix it, because of the Before The Beginning where Crowley said, "If I was in charge, I'd want people to ask questions." Maybe that planted a seed in Azi's mind. Maybe Azi does want to run Heaven, only in a way that Crowley could be proud of it again. Fix it FOR Crowley. Even though Crowley doesn't want that (and Azi maybe doesn't understand that yet).

I came into your askbox intending to ask a simple question about your thoughts, but I have instead written an essay and asked for one in return. Consider it a quick temptation lol

Temptation accomplished hehe - though a little later than I'd have liked. No though genuinely I love this sort of thing a lot and really appreciate all of it. Anyone please feel free to do this at any time!

But uh so. Since that first meta I've done a lot of stuff breaking down that last scene here and also breaking down Aziraphale and the minisodes from this season here. Both of these operate ascribing to the idea that Aziraphale has been threatened into pseudo compliance on top of the active manipulation the Metatron was doing to him. I'll admit this is the theory I currently favor. But, while that's something I find more thematically interesting and also in more narrative alignment, I do still think there's narrative weight to this on its own.

And I think in the case you've got it dead on with the idea of fixing Heaven FOR Crowley.

Most significantly I think this is viable in the way Aziraphale views Crowley. Like. We know he thinks Crowley is Good and that he has thought this for a very very long time. Arguably his instincts have been telling him this since even before he could consciously put it into words given that even as early as Eden he was being honest with Crowley - a thing he even then did not feel he could do with God Herself. Despite being Fallen, Crowley is safe. Crowley is right. Crowley is Good.

Despite is important here. Because it is notably not and. The lesson being taught here is not that Hell can be Good. In fact Crowley himself actively encourages this idea. I'm not taking you to Hell because you wouldn't like it. My lot don't send rude notes. I need a weapon that could destroy me to keep me safe from Hell. I'm a demon: I lie. A demon could get in a lot of trouble for doing the right thing. I'm a demon, demons aren't nice- You're an angel you can't be tempted. You're an angel - you can't do the wrong thing. All of these things in culmination with the way Crowley talks about his Fall to Aziraphale - I didn't really Fall just sauntered vaguely downward - sets Crowley up as unique in the way he transcends what he is.

Meanwhile Aziraphale has been learning the hard, slow way that the people running Heaven do not necessarily have good intentions and more critically that they are not in alignment with what God actually wants. The problem is the management. The angel who would become Crowley said as much himself.

He has every reason to believe they fix it together too. He now knows that together they can perform archangel tier miracles while they're both actively trying to hold back. He knows that even when they're making mistakes and fumbling through the apocalypse they can help defy the world ending. He knows that they are perhaps the only two beings alive that even remotely understand God's will.

So here's Aziraphale given the opportunity to put himself in charge along with theoretically the single most Good being he's ever met. Of course that's appealing. You could give the person you love the power to create again - something we are explicitly shown at the beginning of this season to bring the angel that would become Crowley more joy and delight than we have literally ever seen Crowley have on screen - and the power to create a world together that actually deserves to have that person? You could undo something that you've slowly been coming to terms with believing should have never been done to him in the first place? You could be Adam, rewriting the end of the world and making it so the Bookshop never burned. All you need to do is change the color of the paint job.

Because he'd never change Crowley. He loves Crowley. Crowley is Good already it's not about making him better. The bit with the Bentley is the scene this season that encapsulates this sort of worldview most. Aziraphale changes the color of the car (which is being presented to us as literally physically linked to Crowley) but not the model. He changes how it looks just like Crowley changes into angel wear without a second thought. Neither change the core of what they are, just the aesthetics. And Crowley is always trying on new aesthetics without letting them change who he is. From Az's perspective why would this be any different?

He doesn't realize that sometimes even if you make it so a Bookshop never burnt that doesn't mean the memory of it doing so ever leaves. You still line the shop with fire extinguishers. You still swap to battery operated candles. The memory lingers as they always seem to do.

Crowley can't ever go back. Won't ever go back. Because the trauma of the Fall draws a clearer line for him both in his own identity and in his worldview than it ever could for Aziraphale who came to his own much more slowly. And because of that it's easy to see a reading of Aziraphale that can't see the specific way what he's saying eats at all Crowley's insecurities because all he can see is what they're capable of together and how that aligns with the greater good. It's all part of God's plan, just like they've always been.

[irbcallmefynn]

Okay this is a very hard post for me to make but i feel like i have to make it. I can't be quiet about this any more. I can't keep saying it where nobody will see it because i need people to see it. If the friends of anyone mentioned in this post want to send it their way, feel free. This is not a call-out post. This is an apology, and an ask for explanation.

I want to preface what I'm about to say with: I'm not mad at anyone mentioned in this post. I don't think anybody in The Creachures is. We all miss you and wish things could've worked out. I'm sorry if what I say comes off as hostile or aggressive, I'm not great at wording this sort of thing, and it's coming from a place of much emotion.

@hexedbug @juneibyou @xxthunderthedragon @bobisnotaperson @razzytism

You five have caused me a lot of stress and anxiety in not telling me what i did to hurt you. You haven't given me the opportunity to improve upon myself or correct these transgressions, or even apologize to you. I'm sure you're all at least somewhat aware of how I handle feelings like this, and I understand you not wanting to pander to me or hurt yourself by putting up with me and my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. But you all let me down very harshly, and I've been unable to move past what happened because of it. You've made being on Tumblr miserable, to the point you're making me consider quitting Tumblr, because being on here and seeing you constantly and feeling that sense of hatred hurts, especially when you're being closer to my friends than they are with me. I've been told you don't hate me, but it's hard to believe and accept that when, in my head, you've all decided to block me for unknown reasons, and denied me the ability to apologize.

Hexed. I understand you find what I post about weird. And I understand I was interacting with people who "dragged the server down". You're the one I understand the reasoning of the most. Not following me back because you don't like my posts is fine, though you could've just blocked tags/post content about that stuff. If I was tagging things improperly you should've told me so I could correct it, instead of letting it sit inside you until you couldn't handle it. I get I was encouraging people to vent in Tau Heximus 2, something you didn't want. But again, you should have said something, or done something. I contributed to making your server a place you didn't enjoy. I feel like you wanted both a strictly positive place, and a place where people can be honest and close, two things that don't mesh. I chose the one that I enjoyed more, a close, honest community. I'm sorry I went against your wishes.

June. When you left the server, you said that "Bug Squad" were real ones, and that you still liked us. You then went on to call us and our friends Delusional for starting a new server after the old server's death. That hurt immensely. I understand you were in an emotional place, but using a word like that is not acceptable. You also went to my girlfriend's private vent blog to target it directly. You're the only one I ever blocked, because you were being actively hateful, and betrayed my trust directly. I have since unblocked you, though, because I'm not mad at you, not anymore. You were trying to cope with what happened, and I get it. I just wish you handled things more gracefully and politely. I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you, besides joining a new server. Just, please, work on your emotional control some, so outbursts like this don't happen again.

Thunder. You're the one I miss the most. I felt so close to you. You almost felt like a brother to me. But the way you've been avoiding bringing up what I did to hurt you makes me feel like you either don't want me to know what i did, or don't know what I did yourself. I just wish you'd be more open to talking, so we can work things out. I'm so sorry for hurting you.

Bobbu. I thought we were still friends when you invited me to join Art and Slimes. I turned it down because I don't think I could handle a server of that size, and had already joined the new server. While we maybe weren't as close as some of the others, I still considered you a friend. I'm sorry for whatever I did.

Raz. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. TH2 was the only place that you had found comfort and support in to such a degree, and I've been worried about how you've been without that support. I feel like you used to trust me a lot, enough to confide in me about some of your issues. I wish I knew what I did to betray that trust.

There's three others I wish to bring up that haven't hurt me as bad, but I still wish to say something to.

Mars, I'm glad we're still friends. But it feels like you're less a part of Bug Squad than you are Hexed and June's friend group. I'm always worried about the state of our friendship, since you interact with them so much more than Me, Rico, and Tetra. I just feel excluded and neglected, is all. I'm sorry.

Yaza, I don't know how to feel about you. You're clearly more of June and Hexed's friend than mine. Clearly you don't like the new server because we kept bringing this stuff up in the early days, and I'm so sorry for that. I just wish we could still be friends. Because right now it doesn't feel like you want to be my friend.

Eblu. I don't know what to think of you. You're a good guy, really. But when you say you're my friend and then turn around a few days later and say "if you're friends with [close friend of mine] don't interact with me" I have issues with that. Deciding that everyone who's friends with someone is now bad because they made a mistake is not okay. Yes, it was bad that it happened. Yes, that friend should've been more careful. You are valid for being upset by what you saw. But you don't have to declare everyone who likes that person undesirable. You took it too far.

There are two things I did that I feel I need to apologize for that I actually know of.

When Tau Heximus 2 was dying, I had said that killing the server would kill me. That was disgusting of me. I should not have said that. It was emotionally manipulative of me. I was scared, and confused, I had never experienced something like that before, the loss of somewhere that felt like home, it really felt like I was going to die, and I spoke with my heart instead of my head. If this is what I did to hurt you, I am deeply sorry for saying something so uncomfortable. I'm doing my best to keep my emotional responses under control. And I hope that should anything like that happen again, I won't have such a dramatic response.

I would also like to apologize for being so difficult to help. Whenever I'm offered advice on how to improve or fix something, I have a habit of coming up with excuses, or just flat out rejecting it. I don't mean to come off as ungrateful or opposed to your help. Stressful situations cause me to mentally shut down in a way where anything to help that takes even a slight amount of effort becomes an insurmountable task. I'm trying my best to be more receptive of help, even if it's just agreeing that it would help. I just wish I had the means and energy to actually act on the advice. I am so sorry for anyone who I've hurt by denying your help. Offering me advice does help me mentally, because it lets me know people care, but I feel terrible that I hurt people by not being able to accept and act on the help.

This isn't a call-out post. This is me asking for clarification on what I did wrong, apologizing for what I know I did, and wishing to clear things up.

Thank you for reading.

[baby-xemnas]

I’m really glad you enjoyed gold, it’s one of my favorite movies of the OP franchise!! Zoro my beloved. Also damn they really threatened to publicly execute Zoro like that (keeping in mind this is AFTER Ace stuff so. I always felt that may have dug up some negative emotions for Luffy.)

And while I understand that the whole gold dust thing was done to have sway over everyone that comes in, Zoro is still the only Straw Hat who’s canonically always wearing gold—dude has those earrings in!! It would’ve been fun to see such a present detail of his character used against him like that. Although I faintly recall hearing at one point that Tesero only has control over gold he’s touched im still unsure about it.

Law and Bepo definitely need to be in more of the movies tbh. I love them.

I think this is also like the second or third movie where Zoro’s been captured and held at ransom; but this was the only one where it was solely him.

Also I can’t shoutout the outfits enough!! Loved the fits. Very good stuff.

I’ll forever be disappointed that there isn’t more fan content of this movie, especially in Luzo terms; shit was GOOD.

Anyways lol sorry for the rambling I always get excited to send you asks and talk to you!! Expect some lawbepo from me soon while I’m here >:3c

❤️ looking forward to it ❤️

and honestly???? i think movie itself wasnt luzo enough! that with Zoro captured i was expecting more freaked out Luffys but we only got first capture and luffy running down a hallway yelling ZOROOOOOO

honestly Zoro telling Chopper to not come closer when he begun getting Midas touched - was more emotional than Luffy stuff...big brother Zoro moment love that

like i said i kinda didnt like how chill everyone was abt Zoro being captured

i guess they had to keep the tone light but i wish there were more Very Angry Luffy moment so Nami could be like- that Tesoro dickhead is all abt theatrics so he won't do anything before the time he set himself - we will get Zoro out before that! and for Luffy to be like ye you are right you are right :')))

my gay wishes for THAT to be emotional core instead of - random people who lost and who Tesoro owns - Zoro capture was neglected and we had Luffy show more emotions towards randos rather than his dear Zoro - definite miss by the writers there

[lonesome-witching]

Remind Me

Another part to the Spider Man No Way Home AU where Robin Buckley is your friendly neighborhood spider man and Nancy Wheeler is the alluring love interest. This story only focuses on the love part. Hope you enjoy. (Part 1 - Part 2)

Do you have any prompts yourself? Or do you want to dive into what I wrote before? You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

It was odd to her. Knowing what she knew now. Knowing she was missing a whole part of her life. Mostly just one person. One person that had meant a lot to her. It wasn’t particularly hard to imagine liking Robin when she smiled the way she did. Not that she smiled all that often. But when she did, it was magical.

“What does that mean exactly?” Nancy asked. She avoided looking at Robin. Instead, she stared at the book she had pulled from the shelf. It was frustrating that people refused to replace their books in their assigned spots.

“What does what mean?” Robin replied from the other side of the bookshelf, staring through a small in between two copies of the same travel book. The best places to visit when in France.

“That everyone forgot you. How is that even possible?” Nancy turned to put the book back on its own shelf.

“It was this whole magic thing. You were there when it happened. It was the only way.”

“That guy knew who you were.”

“No, he didn’t. He knew of spiderman and somehow, he knew of you. Which is still a mystery to me, but he didn’t know me. He didn’t know Robin.”

“And I did? Know Robin.”

Robin shrugged, disappearing behind the piles of books. “You did. It’s hard to talk about.”

“It’s hard to listen to as well. But I should know. I want to know. I need— I need to know. It feels like this part of me is missing and you’re the only person that can tell me about it. And I felt like that before we met. Or before we met again. I told Steve— I told Steve that I felt like a part of me had vanished. That there was a puzzle piece missing, which sounds entirely too cliché. And then you stumbled into my life and it makes sense. Somehow you make sense, Robin. So, I need to know all you can tell me.” Nancy walked over, seeing Robin standing there, slumped against the bookcase behind her.

“We’ve met before,” Robin whispered.

“I know that now, but I can’t remember that. You’re the one who made me for—”

“No, not that. We’ve met before, but after. When you didn’t remember me. I visited the bookstore. This bookstore.”

“Oh,” Nancy sighed. She wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t remember. How didn’t she remember?

“It’s no big deal. You didn’t know who I was. I just had to see you.” 

“I feel like I would have remembered. I can’t explain why. There is just something about you.”

“It’s alright,” Robin assured.

“How does it feel?”

“It hurts. It hurts more when I look at you. Because I look at you and see the life we had. I see what we shared and all you see is a stranger.”

“A very beautiful stranger,” Nancy interrupted.

“But still a stranger. It’s harder when I start to forget. Because I only forget the details. I have a hard time remembering which side of the bed you slept on. Or the exact way you said my name. Or the way your face looked when we— I just forget stuff and there is no one to remind me.”

“Left.”

“What?” Robin frowned.

“I prefer to sleep on the left side of the bed. And if you want, I’ll say your name a thousand times over. I’ll record it on one of those tapes so you can play it back whenever you want to. That way you can always be reminded.”

“Thank you. I just— I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it won’t ever be enough. Because there is stuff that you won’t want to repeat and that might hurt the most.”

“Try me,” Nancy dared. Her memories might have been gone, but she could feel that slimmer of emotion resurface as she listened to Robin’s voice.

“I have forgotten the way it feels to kiss you,” Robin admitted with a soft blush on her cheeks.

“Alright, I’ll kiss you again.”

Robin looked up with wide eyes. “I didn’t—”

“I know, what else?”

“I have forgotten the way your moans sound,” Robin said, her eyes widening even more. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Nancy moaned, surprising herself at the volume.

“Nancy!” Robin laughed. “We’re in public. You’re at work.”

“I just wanted to remind you.”

“How far are you going to take this game?”

“Who said it was a game?” Nancy wasn’t even sure herself where all of this was coming from. She wasn’t even sure what she was saying, what she was signing up for.

“Nancy, you barely know me. How do you know I’m not lying? How do you know I’m not making stuff up just to get you in bed with me?”

“Are you? Are you trying to take advantage of me, Robin?”

Robin shook her head. “I wouldn’t—”

“Exactly.”

“But you couldn’t— you can’t know that.”

“I feel like my heart does. It doesn’t make sense, none of this really does. But my heart trusts you and believes you and that has to be enough for me.”

“And is it?”

“What else have you forgotten, Robin?” Nancy took a step forward.

“Nothing.”

“You were saying something else. My face when we…?” Another step closer. There were close to being pressed together against the bookcase.

“Nope, that was nothing.”

Alright, well I have forgotten everything. So, you’ll have to remind me.”

Nancy was being careless. She knew that before she ever even did anything. Robin made her careless and it felt nice. It felt wonderful. It was fucking addicting. So, she had no choice. She had to press her lips against Robin’s. She had to kiss her. And when she did, she realized what she had been missing. Her memories might have not come back, but right now that didn’t matter. What mattered was the electric feeling seeping into her body through her lips. She vaguely realized she had missed this.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Leona Kingscholar Beastly Garb Personal Story: Part 1

"Whatever I feel like doing."

Part 1 (Part 2) (Part 3)

[Sports Field]

Leona: We'll end today's practice here. Make sure you do your cool down exercise on your own.

Magift Club Members: YESSIR!!!

Leona: Ahh, I'm beat. Think I'll head back to the dorm and snooze a bit.

Epel: Um, Leona-san! There's something I'd like to ask of you…

Leona: Ask of me? If it's something stupid, I ain't gonna hear you out.

Epel: Uhhm… That means I can still ask, right? Thank you very much.

Epel: Recently, I keep missing passes and dropping discs a lot.

Epel: Please tell me a way to train so I can improve my control of the disc and make less mistakes!

Leona: Oh, is that all? Don't worry about it. Bye.

Epel: Eh… Wait, no, I wanted more specific advice…!

???: EH!

Epel/Leona: ?

Ruggie: You guys are gonna go into town? By bus?

Magift Club Member A: Yeah, but… What's up, Ruggie? You wanna go too?

Magift Club Member B: You can come, but we're not gonna buy you any food.

Ruggie: Tch, that sucks. But puttin' that aside… If you're headin' there, can I getcha to buy somethin' for me?

Ruggie: It might be a liiiittle heavy, but… It should be easy enough for two people to carry 20 boxes of sports drink powder packets!

Magift Club Member A: No way!! You can do that by sending a first year to the Mystery Shop or something, instead.

Ruggie: YEAH BUT THE SPORTIN' GOODS STORE IN TOWN'S ABOUT 6 MADOL CHEAPER PER BOX!!!!!

Ruggie: If I ask you guys to do it for me, then that saves me on the bus fare, and the club's money. It's basically killing two birds with one stone.

Magift Club Member B: Not my problem. It's not like that amount saved is gonna go into our pockets or anything… If you want to save money so bad, why don't you go yourself?

Ruggie: Mmkay, I mean, I don't really care～ But there's that time you owe me from when I swapped clubroom cleaning duties with ya…

Magift Club Member A: O-Okay, okay! We'll go buy some on the way back!

Ruggie: Thanks a bunch. 'Kay, here's the money for it. I need the usual 20 boxes of sports drinks!

Leona: Man, you're being so cheap…

Ruggie: Ah, Leona-san. Were you listening to all that?

Ruggie: I'm not being cheap at all. That's me saving 6 Madol on 20 boxes each, y'know!? It's completely a rip-off otherwise!

Epel: 20 boxes of sports drink powder…

Epel: That'd be difficult to carry by broom, maybe? I guess it would be pretty impossible to bring back without taking the bus.

Ruggie: Riiight? Brooms're great 'cause you don't gotta think about schedules and fares, but...

Ruggie: If you gotta carry stuff, it's basically the pits…. Or more like, someone scrawny like me can't do that.

Epel: Yes… Whenever I try to fly with my stuff on the broom, I'm always swaying so hard it makes me anxious…

Epel: If I try to use magic to carry it, then I get so focused on the floating luggage that my speed drops.

Leona: See, you get it.

Ruggie: Huh, but your flight ability's way out of our range.

Leona: Well, yeah. But that's not what I'm talking about.

Leona: I meant about what I said to Epel earlier to not worry about making mistakes when handling the disc.

Leona: Your flying's one of the best out of all the first years.

Leona: If you're gonna try to greedily grab at everything and neglect your actual strong point, how're you actually gonna be useful?

Epel: That's…

Leona: You don't need to think about anything unnecessary right now.

Leona: If you think about it, the disc is just a single object. Moving it with magic is like, the fundamentals.

Leona: As long as you keep up your studies, you'll improve over time.

Epel: I see…!

Ruggie: Shishishi, can you really say that, though, since you skip all your classes?

Leona: Hah?

Epel: Ahahaha…

Leona: But when it comes to shopping… You guys figure it out on your own.

Ruggie: Ehhh. Even if you say that…

Ruggie: Public transportation costs money, and there's not that many buses running on Sage's Island to start with!

Ruggie: If we used brooms, then that'd help save time, but… If there's a ton to buy, then we'd need a bunch of people to work together to go get it.

Leona: Luckily, the Magical Shift Club has more members than any other club. Shouldn't be a problem.

Ruggie: What're you even saying? There's no way any of these guys would take on something like this before coming to practice.

Epel: And magical wheels… Aren't really geared towards hauling stuff, either.

Ruggie: Maaan, it'd be great if we had someone who could bust out a car in times like these.

Ruggie: If we did, it'd be so easy to go shoppin' for the club, and we could totally use it to take full advantage of all the bargains that happen in town!

Leona: …

Epel: Most of the adults back home have cars… But I don't think I know anyone here at school with a license, I think?

Ruggie: I mean, the first years're probably too young, and everyone at our school's pretty busy anyway. I don't think there's anyone who'd be able to get one.

Epel: I thought you'd be someone to get something as useful as a license as soon as he could, Ruggie-san.

Ruggie: Eh? But getting a license and renewin' it costs money, don't it?

Leona: How long're you guys going to be talking about something you can't have? No one can drive, so just give it up.

Leona: C'mon, it's an easy decision. Just don't go to into town.

Leona: Night Raven College is a prestigious Magical Shift school. Our club's really well funded, if not abundantly so.

Leona: Basically, the Mystery Shop should be enough. Just don't be greedy.

Ruggie: Tch. This island's reaaaally inconvenient.

Part 1 (Part 2) (Part 3)

Requested by @dorito9708 and @kiingsroar.

[redrydersrequiem]

The Raven and the Vampire

Chapter 3

Walking with Angela was nice; she seemed nice, and very smart. The classroom was again in shades of white but did have pops of color from the artwork hanging all around. Setting down your stuff and waiting for the teacher, a familiar figure bounces up and sets down.

“Are you Elara, I'm Alice Cullen. It's so nice to meet you.”

“ You as well” reaching out to shake the girls hand I notice how cold she is, which must be cold if even I notice she’s cold,

“Wow you’re hands sure are cold”

“Oh yeah you know what they say, cold hands warm heart.”

“Agreed.”

“You know I can already tell we are going to be great friends. I really hope everything comes together for you.”

“Oh thanks and I hope we become friends as well.”

Just as that is said the teacher comes in to begin the lesson. Looking back and forth between the canvas in front of me and Alice I try to not stare at her the whole class but the mystery of what she is to strong, So instead I send out my senses like aunt sif always said “when you can’t use your eyes use your other senses” I can hear all the heart beats in the room the air filling their lungs. Well all except one. Looking towards Alice I can clearly see her moving and blinking as she worked on her sketch. Now that’s new, What on earth are these cullens?

“So elara how old are you” alice asks noticing i was watching her

“Im 853 as of September 13th”

“What?”

“Sorry I was joking, I’m 18”

“Oh you're the same age as some of my siblings.”

“Yeah, I saw all of you at lunch. I'm sorry for how the people at the table were talking about your family. I'm sure that’s not a good feeling.

“Oh no it's fine they’ve all talked about us since we moved here.”

“ At least what they did say it seems you have an amazing family.

“Thank you, I can tell you're really sweet, you're going to make someone very happy someday.”

“Why thank you thats” The bell rings, cutting me off.

“Have a nice next class elara. I think you’ll really enjoy it.”

Before I can even begin to interpret what she just said she’s gone. Well aren’t the clues just lining up for me. I ponder as I walk to the last class of the day, Cold skin, they reacted to my magic but didn’t know it came from me. Alice didn’t have a heartbeat but I hadn’t checked the others yet so I don’t know if i can count that yet it could just be her, and they seemed really fast. My mind whirling as I walked into the room, the first thing I noticed was him. The very air around him seemed to shimmer.

“Ah miss lane I presume Im Mr Wright welcome to ap history please take a seat over by Mr Hale. Mr Hale please raise your hand so she knows where to come.”

Jaspers pov

Doing as I was asked, trying to mask the internal crisis brewing within. God Edward wanted to kill Bella upon meeting her and I wanted to kill everyone most of the time, and now the new girl is being sent right into the lion's den, damn my luck. I didn't want to breathe or move, but as she got closer, her presence washed over me. A cooling breath of air in the never ending smell of the other students' blood. It was incredible her whole being captured me and it was in that instance I knew she's my mate.

Elaras pov

I was raised in a noble court. I've had over 800 years of speaking experience, but now while I'm sitting shoulder to shoulder with my soulmate I can’t under a single syllable. I'm not even listening to the teacher rampling on, all I can think of are the subtle things I see on him. The way that one curl brushes above his right eye. Speaking of his eyes, his eyes alone are the most beautiful color of ember. The plaid blue shirt he was wearing fit him so well oh for the love of the gods just say something to him.

“Um hi,”

“Hello.”

“Im Elara”

“Jasper hale, pleasure to meet you darlin”

Wow darlin is my new favorite word, especially when said in that beautiful accent.

“ Are you enjoying forks?”

“It’s definitely starting to grow on me.”

“I think I can understand that.” The rest of the class I exchange notes and made small talk before that dreaded bell rings and it signaling my departure from him.

“I guess I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course, see you tomorrow darlin.”I almost don’t want to part from him, but I know now isn’t the time for us, but it is a start.

Busting through the front door I call for Mila and Lucas. I have to share all my experiences with them. I have to call mom and dad, I have to…….

“Odins beard, Elara is that you banging around out there.” I hear coming from the kitchen cutting off my inner rant.

“Yes Mila but I have a good cause, where’s Lucas I need to speak to him too.”

“I'm right here princess, how was your first day of school? ' Lucas asks as he steps out of the study.

“I found them, I found my soulmate”

“That's terrific news my lady!”

“Isn’t it. It’s just um”

“I sense a but coming.”

“You’d be correct Mila that's why I need you and Lucas. From everything I’ve observed today his family and him are not human.

“Ok before we start getting into what was just spoken, first at least tell me you know their name.”

“Oh yes sorry Mila. His name is Jasper, Jasper Hale

“How lovely a strong name.”

“I would like to be more focused on the non human part,

“Of course do Lucas.”

“I'm sorry Mila but the princesses safety is my first concern, I promised her father and more importantly the Allfather.”

“Yes yes we shall let you complete your duty, now dear what were you saying about them not being human.”

“From what I observed they don’t have heartbeats and seem very fast. Alice, Jasper's sister, was also very cold, colder than any human should be.”

“Hmmmmm, by any chance did they seem inhumanly beautiful.?”

“Yes actually, they did stand out more than the other children.”

“What about their eyes?”

“ Well my soulmate had beautiful ember almost yellow eyes”

“Then I do believe I know what they may be my lady.”

“You do.”

“Yes midgardians have a legend of an inhuman species that survives on the blood of other sentient beings. While many believe these stories to be just that, the being is very much real. Here the local tribe calls them the cold ones”

“Local tribe?”

“Yes there is a tribe here of children of Fenrir.”

“Oh wolf shifters then, amazing I remember reading of them as a child, I'm glad they are still around.

“Yes they are. Many of them have taken on the charge of maintaining peace

and protecting the humans from the cold ones.”

“Why must they protect the humans?”

“Anciently cold ones while intelligent many would be overcome by their darker tendencies and slaughter full villages. Though from what you’ve told me your soulmate and his family seem to be the other end of that spectrum.

“What do you mean.?

“ Well with the speed, beauty,cold skin but more importantly the gold color of their eyes it would seem your soulmate and his family are in a way vegetarian vampires, meaning they don’t prey on humans but animals instead.”

“Amazing, what else do you know of their species’

“Well a good thing is they are a long lived race they do not age from the time they are turned.

“Perfect I wouldn’t have to worry about out living them, and the aging we could possibly figure out later on but that is so far away.”

“The cold ones can also have gifts my lady”

“They have aesir.”

“No my lady, not really asgardian aesir, it's a special form that we don’t have much knowledge on, all I know is that they can have abilities from telepathy to elemental manipulation and so on from my understanding it all depends on their lives before they are turned and even then not every vampire has a gift.”

“Interesting, mom and dad will be impressed.”

“Elara dear if you contact them please don’t forget to tell them we’ve finished the preparations for the house so they can send over your pet.

“Really, Mila you're the best, Aurelius will love the woods here.”

“Yes, I'm sure your giant pet wolf will love the woods.

“Oh Lucas, it'll be fine. I already decided we’d cloak him to look like that fluffy bread. What was it called again?”

“A husky dear.”

“Yes a husky, to the midgardians he will just be a regular husky.”

“I hope so cause I believe a 12ft silver wolf would upset the locals.”

“I would expect no less from a direct descendent of Fenrir,”

“ Think of it this way, Lucas, he can help you protect me.

“Whatever you say, dear princess whatever you say.”

Cullens pov

The next day at school the cullens including bella all stand by their cars like usual waiting for the new girl to come into the parking lot.

“Jasper are you sure it's her you felt the connection to”

“Yes, I’m sure. She’s the only one around that I don’t feel the urge to kill.”

Her presence alone feels like a cool blanket covering the aching heat in his throat. Not that he’d admit that to his siblings yet.

“Well everyone, how do we think we should handle this.?” Alice asks the

group surrounding her

“ Last time we got involved with a human it didn’t go well, Sorry Bella”

“No offense taken Rue.”

“I haven’t seen anything in any of our futures that suggest she’s a danger and this could be Jasper's chance to finally have the happiness he deserves. I'm not going to let you all ruin that for him.”

“Thank you Alice.”

“I think we should get to know her and if she is a danger we'll speak to Carlisle and go from there.”

“ See rue agrees besides I've already introduced myself to her and I like her. I know she'll be a wonderful addition to our family”

“Just make sure you respect her boundaries babe.”

“Rue Im offended I have great respect for boundaries” Rue shakes her head with the rest of the cullens in a knowing way

“Sure you do sweety. Come on y’all the bells about to ring wouldn’t want to miss another glorious day of highschool.

Elaras pov

Watching the cullens enter the school I feel the smile spread on my face as I lean against the purple jeep Lucas suggested I drive instead of my bike. I can see them all once again watching me from the gourd around their cars. Vampires huh how very very interesting .Most of them i.e. Emmet, Alice and Jasper have smiles on their faces while the others look somewhat grim. It’s almost like they are suspicious of me, but for what i couldn’t figure, i guess we'll see who approaches who first.

The morning was going well when I saw Alice while walking to my next class. She was standing in the hall with her girlfriend rue and their other sister Rosalie. I waited for the rushing crowd of teenagers to disperse a little before making my way over. Alice saw me and shot me a giant smile, gleefully motioning me over to them.

“Elara, good morning.”

“Morning alice.”

“Let me introduce you this is my girlfriend rue and my older sister Rosalie,”

“It’s nice to meet both of you.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Alice wouldn’t stop talking about you yesterday after art. It's almost like I already know you. Rose say hi hun don’t be stiff”

“No, it's fine she doesn’t have to say anything if she doesn’t want to.”

“Sorry I was just thinking to myself, hello my name's Rosalie, it's nice to meet you. I assume you got the whole tour yesterday from everyone.”

“Yeah it was sooo much fun. Especially all the staring and whisper you hear all day ”

“ I can definitely understand that it was the exact same when we all started school here.”

“At least you all had each other. You all seem like a very tight knit family”

“Yeah we can be.”

“elara I'm so excited you just have to sit with us today at lunch and meet everyone. I can definitely tell we all make fast friends.

“Sure Alice I would love that, only if everyone would be comfortable with it.”

“Oh no everyone would be just fine i'll make sure of it. Now I'll see you at lunch. I'll wait for you by the front door”

“Sounds like a plan I respond when he schools bell sounds in the hallway.”

“Ok elara well see you at lunch come on rue we have science class “

“Oh joy, bye elara” rue replies her whole body slumping with disdain or the upcoming class i simply laugh at her.

“Bye good luck,” the two girls walk off more like alice drags rue off. Rosalie is stood beside me still also lightly smiling at her siblings behavior

“What about you Rosalie?”

“I have math next with Emmet but I guess I'll see you at lunch.”

The blond walks off as I now make my way to my own class. It seems that I have a lunch date with the Cullen family now. This will be a more productive day than I thought.

Jaspers pov

“You did what? Alice what in the hell”

“Oh calm down Jasper, this is the perfect opportunity to formally introduce her to our family.”

“Have you met our family? Look what happened when Edward met Bella, we're still dealing with that. I'm not gonna let my mate get hurt.”

“Jasper calm down nothing will happen to elara”

“How do you know? Isn’t she’s a shield like Bella”

“Well I wouldn’t say she’s necessarily a shield. I've seen glimpses of her in your and our future but it's like she’s surrounded by bright light every time I see her. Almost like she muffled in a way”

“Muffled. That still doesn’t mean she won't be hurt by me or anyone else”

“Jasper you can’t live your life in fear or you won't live at all. I want you to be happy and I know she’s what’s going to make you happy, now pull yourself together and she's joining us for lunch.”

Oh lord, I really hope Edward is wrong about all his eternal damnation because I could really use some hope right now.

Elaras pov

Lunch is only fifteen minutes away. The bells blares in my ears, tuning out the fast beating of my heart momentarily. Ok elara you can do this. You're a 853 year old princess of Asgard. You’ve been trained in the mystic arts and fighting from the moment you could walk. A group of midgardian teenagers should not be a problem. Now put on your big girl armor and let's do this. Pep talk done, I head into the lunch room and immediately see alice bounding up to me.

“There you are girly right this way and don’t worry only Edward bites but you can just ignore him. The rest of us do most of the time.”

Slipping her arm through mine I have no choice but to follow her as the whole cafeteria watches. It’s just like a court function back home keeping my head high and taking a step at a time. Till I see the table come into view and there he is, Gorgeous curls and all. Then he turns and the smile he shows is like being hit with the bifrost full force. All of them are beautiful in itself but him, he's even more so.

“Here she is, everyone. elara you’ve already met, my better half Rue,” you wave and smile at rue which she copies

“Next to her is Bella swan. I don’t know if you have officially meet”

“Hi Bella”

“Hi elara”

“The brooding one beside her is her boyfriend and our brother Edward.”

“He just nods which is fine for me as I reciprocate the gesture.”

“Hey don’t forget about me, I want to say hi too.”

“Yeah yeah emmet hold your horses. elara this is emmet the loud one of the group

“Don’t you mean the fun one of the group?”

“No i mean loud”

“Hahaha hi emmet it's good to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, elara. I gotta say your bike the first day was sick we'll have to talk.”

“You bet”

“Like you know about motorcycles”

“Hey babe that’s not nice im a wealth of knowledge”

“If you really want to talk about cars and bike I’m the one to talk to”

“Oh really that's really cool Rosalie I would love to talk.”

“Hey see, we're all friends already.”

“Sure Emmett and last but not least is Jasper you can take the seat next to him I'm sure you’ll get along great” The blush that enveloped your checks didn’t go unnoticed by the others but thankfully none of them commented on it.

“Hey darlin, it's nice to see you again.”

“You as well jasper.”

I take the seat next to him that he pushed out, ever the gentlemen that definitely a plus check for him. The table is quiet as everyone settles in, not knowing what to say I wait for one of them to hopefully start speaking and thankfully emmet doesn’t miss his que.

“So elara how's the rain been treating you.”

“I actually like the rain, it's comforting to me.”

“Really wow the complete opposite of Bella. Hahaha” Everyone silently chuckles the brunette glaring at Emmett

“Where are you from Bella I was told you where new last year”

“Yeah I was I came from phoenix Arizona”

“What’s it like there”

“It was mostly like a desert so this was a big change.”

“Oh that's cool.”

“Yeah I was kinda iffy about it at first but now it's really grown on me.” She hugs edwards arm and they both stare at each other with clear love in their eyes”

“Get a room you two, so elara tell us about yourself” rue asks from the other side of the table

“Well I just moved from insert ( fake hometown) and I moved here to travel a little with my aunt and uncle since my parents are really busy.”

“Wow that's cool, but do you not have any siblings or pets or anything?

“No, I have two new baby brothers, Vance and Nate and then my pet dog aurelius actually came with me.“

“Oh you have a pet, what kind of animal are they?” Alice asks from her seat next to rue

“He’s a silver husky. Here I have a photo of him on my phone.”

Pulling up the photo of transformed Aurelius I show the group with a smile”

“Wow , he's really pretty, almost kind of looks like a wolf.” Bella says with aw in her tone, the slight shift from the rest of the table though from her words does not go unnoticed by you. I hope these people don’t have issues with wolfs (foreshadowing lol) But then what Lucas said about the local moon children tribe comes to mind and everything just drops into place in your mind.

“Let's change the subject elara what’s your favorite class so far

“Well rose I would have to say history so far”

“Oh that's the class you have with Jasper right?”

“Alice!” jasper scolds her silently as he sees the blush form on my cheeks

“Yes, that is the class I have with jasper. I must say your whole family is amazing. Jasper has been nothing short of a gentleman to me since he got saddled with me being his desk partner.”

“That’s how my momma raised me, true southern hospitality.”

“I'm glad it’s definitely an attractive feature, I will say.” Alice suddenly Interrupts the staring between you and jasper

“Hey elara you wouldn’t happen to have any plans this weekend would you”

“No I don’t,”

“Then you should come to port a with all of us girls, i think we would all love for you to become a friend”

“I would love that actually.”

“Hooray, ok here let me get your phone number and we'll get all the details finalized.”

It feels so mundane exchanging numbers with Alice,she even whispered she'd give you the others numbers later, only if you wanted them. The rest of the lunch is filled with general small talk. Bella really being the only one at the table eating the rest of us converse. The conversations actually feel pretty easy making time go by faster, the bell echos in the room signaling the end of the lunch period

“Oh shoot there's the bell right when the conversation was getting good to”

“It’s ok alice maybe elara would like to sit with us again.”Jasper asks

“Of course I will. Besides Alice, you and I have the next class together, we can continue talking there.”

“Perfect well then let's go.” She hops up quick kissing rue on the cheek before taking my arm in hers to start walking to our class.

“Bye Elara, I'll see you in last period.” jasper manages before emmet slings his arm around him in a half choke with a giant smile on his face

“Yeah elara he’ll see you last period” Laughs emmet as he drags jasper off

“Bye jasper.” you wave after them just in time to see him look back and give a final kilowatt smile

The rest of the week eating with the cullens was amazing. I actually had gotten pretty close to everyone including Edward after I bonded off one of his favorite philosophers quotes and the following debate about it. They were all amazing, I was over the moon with the progress, they of course wouldn’t trust me with their family's secret yet but at least they are welcoming, now I just have to get through meeting the cullens matriarch.

It’s finally Saturday morning and i'm ready to experience midgardian shopping, but not ready for meeting my mates parents. Arriving at the beautiful house I arrive at the door but before I can even attempt to knock, the door flies open to reveal a smiling alice.

“Oh elara I'm so happy you're here.”

Alice practically pulls me through the house to the kitchen where the amazing smell of cookies wafts. Behind the kitchen island a beautiful woman stands, she almost reminds me of my grandmother, the grace, strength and kindness just radiating off her in the same waves as her beautiful chestnut hair. This must be Esme Cullen, their mom.

“Esme look who’s here”

“Oh hello there dear, how great to finally meet you, the children haven’t stopped talking about you.” She crosses over to you and pulls you into a quick Hug.

“Oh thank you, it's wonderful to meet you too and I have to say it smells amazing, in here.”

“Oh thank you dear, I'm making some cookies for Carlisle's colleges up at the hospital.

“Did I hear my name?”

A sweet honeyed voice calls as the head of the family walks up to his wife embracing her from behind.

“You did, but now that you're here, introduce yourself to the children's new friend.

“Ahh you must be elara lane” Carlisle greets as he reaches his hand out to shake yours

“That would be me sir.”

“Well it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm glad the kids have all made another great friend here in forks.

“They are all amazing, it's sad that the other kids can’t see that.

“Well isn’t that great. I hear you girls are going up to port Arthur to shop.”

“Yes sir, Alice graciously invited me along. I’ve never been up there so i'm sure it will be exciting”

“Oh course it will elara well go to all my favorite stores and find the perfect outfits for everything.

“What about us alice?”

“Oh there you two are. I'm guessing Bella was able to get out of girls trip this time?

“Yeah she’s with Edward today.”

“Oh are they that couple”,

“Yes they are girl! But Rose can’t say much, her and Emmet are about the same.”

“Oh please rue, like you and alice aren’t.”

“I wont say we aren’t I love my little pixiepie ” Rue rushes over to alice to kiss her cheek and squeeze her

“Ok whatever, elara we're gonna go in my car if that's ok, trust me you don’t want Alice to drive.

“I heard that Rose,’

“Good you were supposed to. Come on”

As the girls all say their goodbyes and walks away I can’t help but turn back to again say goodbye to Carlisle and Esme,

“Thank you so much, it was amazing to meet you both

“You too, dear.”

“Yes don’t let those girls bully you into anything you don’t want to do we thought poor Bella would never go with the again”

“I'll keep that in mind Dr.Cullen”

“You can just call me Carlisle. I'm sure we'll be seeing eachother again.

“I hope so”

Honking from the garage signals your retreat from the loving matriarchs in front of you.

Esme and Carlisle’s pov

Watching the young girl leave i turn to my beautiful wife

“So that's Jasper's mate?”

“Yes and I can already tell shell be an amazing mate for him. I mean I’ve never seen him smile as much as he has this past week. He’s finally coming out of that scared shell of his.”

“I agree dear and all of the others seem to really like her as well. I do hope Rose stays so open with her and we don’t have another repeat of Bella.”

“I believe she will, elara has a very unique air about her, I’m sure good things will come to our family.”

Taking one last look in the directions the girls went I silently agreed with my wife as I pulled her into my side.

Elaras pov

The red bmw drives down the street top down and music blasting . The wind flowing through my hair as Rose expertly drives into town.

All I can really hear is the occasional signing from rue beside me, as alice and rose go on about Alice’s driving skills. After what felt like five minutes we all pulled into a shopping district and the day began. Shop after shop we go and I now have no doubt that these girls are inhuman. So many stores we’ve blown through, it's almost shocking. But the fun and light conversation between all of us keeps driving me. Finally we stop at the food court, they all get a smoothie while I find whatever here seems the most appetizing.

“So elara tell us what do you think about jasper?” I simply look up at Alice a smile on my face

“Alice what happened to any subtlety.”

“Oh come on Rose I know you wanted to ask. So elara tell us.”

“Are you sure you want to know given he’s your brother.”

“Uh yes. Especially since none of us have seen him smile so much in a long time.”

“Rues right you’ve truly had an amazing effect on him.”

“What can I say?”

“Just tell us what you like, it doesn't have to be about jasper.”

“But Jasper is who I like.”

“Aww” Rue smacks Alice’s shoulder at the sound.

“Stop it let her continue, go on elara”

“He’s kind and he’s funny, super smart. Being around him is like being wrapped in my favorite blanket with a cup of tea in hand.”

“Aww that's adorable. I’ve got to tell you that he thinks the same.

“Alice for gods sake stop”

“No Rose, I want my brother and our friend to be together, so this is what’s going to happen. We’re going to beautify elara all up which wont be hard your gorgeous love, show jasper what he’s missing and i promise by the end of the week you two will be together i have it all planned out”

“Oh it’ll work out just like that”

“Yup you leave everything to me, it's the least i can do for my future sister “

“Oh lord alice one step at a time i think we all need to get to know each other a lot more before that. And we still have some family things to take care of remember” rose says chastising the small brunete

“Yeah yeah yeah it's only a matter of time”

“Family stuff is there anything i can help with?”

“No elara it's fine, maybe someday but for now let's just think of prettying you up. Come on girls I hear a Sephora calling our name.”

And just like that rue whisks me away with rose and alice following a smile on all of our faces, and all I can think of is how much I'm ready for all our secrets to be revealed so we all can actually be sisters. But first we may have to get none of them being human out of the way

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey, cas!

I think I need some advice. Apologies in advance if this sounds too urgent or something. I know one of your boundaries is to not feel pressured to answer immediately and I don’t want you to feel like that’s what I’m doing.

So school started again about three weeks ago but I was sick the entirety of last week, so I’ve only actually been to school for two. Where I live the school system is a bit different from America, but you could say that this is my first year of high school, only that I didn’t have to change schools.

Even though it’s only been two weeks, I’m already immensely stressed out. Now that I’ve been sick for a week, I’m scared I missed too much stuff, especially because the level of things we need to do has doubled since last year. I’ve always been pretty lazy and never really studied for anything except sometimes math. I never needed to because I got Bs and often As anyway. Now however I’m completely overwhelmed.

Last night I panicked so much about having to go back to school today, that I almost threw up. When I realized, I found myself thinking about forcing myself to throw up to prove to my mother that I was still sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school.

When I realized that that was what was going on I had another breakdown and didn’t do anything. I felt almost disgusted at myself for even thinking about that.

This morning I wanted to fake a headache, but ended up not because my mother kept insisting I go to school.

When I was on my way to school, my bike had issues, so I asked my mom to come help me. I had a breakdown before she even arrived. When she did, she tried to help me and understand what was going on, but I couldn’t really speak or listen to anything she told me. I think I may have had a panic attack of some sort.

When I’d calmed down enough to explain what was going on, she tried to reassure me that everything would be alright and that my grades didn’t matter to her. I knew all of that already, but it did calm me down a bit.

After we agreed that I can stay home today as long as I promise to go tomorrow, no matter what, she suggested that I go to therapy, which I was planning on asking for anyway.

All in all it doesn’t sound as bad anymore now that I’ve typed it all out like this. The only issue is that in my country Therapy waiting lists take an average of 6 months. I don’t know how I’m supposed to wait that long.

Do you have any advice on how to get my anxiety under control until then. Or how to feel less stressed about school in general. I can’t talk to my teacher because she’s very strict and her method of teaching people who don’t know stuff yet is to repeatedly call on them and throw them in ice water basically. I’m sure she means well, but it only increases my anxiety by a tenfold. What would you tell your students if they were having trouble with something?

I definitely struggled with this when I was younger, so I completely get it. I think one of the things about feeling overwhelmed like this is you feel like you have to get it all done in one day. So instead, could you maybe make a list of the things you need to get done, but then separate it into manageable chunks? Like Make up all your math work on Monday, science on Tuesday, etc? You could even show your teacher your plans to let her know you're working toward getting caught up.

Honestly, I would tell my student that you need to go easy on yourself. If you push yourself too much, you're going to end up learning less because you're too stressed! The people what expect you to be perfect aren't worth it. Take breaks, do a little at a time, and remind yourself that it's just as important to take care of yourself as it is to catch up <3

Sending love and naming you catch up anon!