#like the clowning has to escape somewhere right

[dramaphan]

At this point I almost feel like the phanfictioncatalogue anons are fucking with you specifically

It's literally never normal it's always the most fucked up fanfiction prompt you've ever heard in your life and the admins just never clown about it I don't understand where they get their willpower from I don't get it they're so professional for you freaks 😭

[sporadicthingcollection]

The Unskinny Bop (Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: You're a really good cook and that's most of the problem. The rest of it is that he's too weak-willed to resist a treat right in front of him. Pairing: Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: 🌶 Explicit 🌶 Word Count: ~6.1k Warnings: Body insecurity (male and female), cunnilingus, masturbation, PiV sex A/N: Dad Bod Buggy my beloved

---

She's playing all night And the music's all right Mama's got a squeeze box And Daddy never sleeps at night

---

It's his own damn fault, really.

He's the one who charmed the pretty diner cook — that’d be you — into joining his crew. It was an easy sell. You get off of the little podunk island you’re stuck on and he gets those delicious little puffy pastry things every morning.

What he didn’t expect was how well you made everything else. He's had to let his pants out three times in two months because of it.

Fluffy pancakes, perfectly slung hash, and a pie-looking thing with eggs and vegetables and cheese you called a “keesh” for breakfast. Sandwiches stuffed with veggies and meat, piles of pasta tossed in rich sauce, and thick slabs of juicy steak for dinner. Not to mention the mountains of snacks and treats in between.

He came to realize that food is a key aspect of your personality. It's just what you do. A dog chases its tail, Richie pushes things off of tables, and you flit around the deck like a pastry pixie, abducting people into the galley for taste-testing. 

Like right now.

His only warning that you're coming is a chirped “Captain!” before he's yanked through the door. He doesn't even have time to react before you've shoved a spoonful of something into his mouth.

He's not surprised. You do it to everyone who walks in. Food is how you show affection.

“Whaddya think?” you ask.

He swallows it too quickly to make a judgment, but it's sweet and that's all he needs to know. “Tasty.”

Every time you smile, he swears a flashbulb goes off somewhere. “Good,” you say. “It'll be even better tomorrow.”

He doesn't even bother to hide the whine. “What?”

“They're icebox pies, silly goose,” you say. “You gotta let ‘em chill.”

Another thing about you is that you're a tease. Form-fitting blouses done up just a button too short and your hair pulled back to show off your soft shoulders. A sweet little wink and a touch of the shoulder as you place a plate in front of him. And now feeding him something delicious only to tell him he has to wait until tomorrow to have more.

Your fingers snapping in front of his face jolt him back to the present. “Huh?”

“I asked if you wanted to lick the spoon,” you say.

Does he wanna lick the spoon? What kind of question is that? He plucks it from your hands. “Is the sky blue? Do bears shit in the woods? Am I the captain?”

You roll your eyes, but you smile. “Gonna stick these in the big cooler and I'll be right back for the other,” you say.

Carefully, you pick up two of the three foil-covered pie tins resting on the counter and turn on your heel.

He watches you closely as you round the corner and out of sight. Such a nice soft ass you've got. He desperately wants to grab it, but the one time you got goosed, you slugged the guy so hard he was out cold for the rest of the day.

Something pink, creamy, and flecked with seeds coats the wooden spoon. He drags his tongue along the back of it and--

Oh. Oh, that is good.

His taste buds scream in ecstasy. The slightest little moan escapes his lips. For the briefest of moments, he thinks it's better than sex and his cock twitches, but he regains his sense of self before going completely mad.

He licks and licks and licks until every little drop of pink, sweet, creamy filling is gone.

Frustration bubbles in his chest. Waiting all night for this is gonna suck. Especially since you probably won't be whipping it out for breakfast.

He is captain, though. He could order you to give it to him. But you'd almost certainly laugh in his face and he really, really doesn't want that.

The shimmer of foil catches his eye. The third pie sits on the counter. Untouched. Uneaten. Mocking him in its creamy deliciousness.

He looks around. You're nowhere to be seen.

...maybe just a little bit.

He scrapes barely half a spoonful from the top. Not enough to be noticeable, just enough to satisfy his sweet tooth.

Mmm. Smooth. Thick. Sweet. Fruity. Delicious.

...a little bit more can't hurt. Then he can wait until tomorrow.

He gets a piece of the fruit itself this time and the squirt of juice on his tongue is enough to make him spoon up another dollop. And then another. And then another.

This is why your pants are so tight, his inner monologue chides. This is why you need a new belt. This is why you wear that thing around your waist. Goddamn hedonist.

They're not that tight, he retorts. And they wouldn't be at all if you weren't such a damn good cook. It's all your fault for putting delicious food in front of him and looking so pretty while doing it.

He turns to lean against the counter, only to stop dead.

You're standing there, eyes wide and brows raised. You point at him, then at the pie tin, then back at him. “Are you... Eating the...?”

“No,” he says quickly. He realizes he's holding the pie tin. “No.”

Something odd glints in your eyes as you approach him. Gingerly, you take the pie and the spoon from his hands. He lets you. You step even closer.

You're so close to him, close enough for him to feel the rise and fall of your breasts. Hell, you're so short compared to him that he can see straight down your shirt.

His heart races. What are you going to do? Throw it out? Throw him out? Punch his lights out? Never speak of this again? 

To his amazement, you do none of those things. Instead, you spoon up a bit more of the pie filling and raise it to his lips. You blink up at him with big doe eyes.

He looks between you and the spoon a few times. This can't be right. You should be furious. He opens his mouth to say something, but it's forgotten as you shove the spoon in his mouth.

Why are strawberries so delicious? Why is he so weak? Why are your breasts so warm and squishy against him?

He swallows it and, as he opens his mouth to breath, you shove another spoonful in. It's just as good the twentieth time.

You offer him another. And another. And another. He accepts them all.

Until he goes to take another and you pull it away. He frowns at you. You pull it back farther and farther. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand closer. You resist, but he's spent every day of his life trimming sails and hauling cargo.

He gets the spoon into his mouth and claims his prize with a smirk.

That glint in your eyes turns into a blaze. You drop the pie tin and spoon and they hit the floor with a clatter. Pulling your wrist from his grip, you grab him by the cheeks and yank him into a kiss.

He yelps against your lips and you take the opportunity to shove your tongue between them. Licking, lapping, pressing your soft, warm body right up against his.

Only a eunuch could resist this.

He kisses you back with the same fervor, grabbing your ass to lift you up a bit and it's so soft and pliant and perfect that he can't help but dig his fingers in.

Oh, it's everything he dreamed it would be. Your warm lips moving against his, your slick tongue dancing in his mouth, your soft palms gripping his jaw.

You've lapped up all the lingering sweetness in his mouth by the time he runs out of breath. He pushes you away and you whimper, your eyes wide and your shoulders heaving up and down.

Deprived of oxygen, he says something completely, absolutely, utterly brain dead. “Can I touch your tits?”

Instead of slapping him, you nod so hard your updo shakes loose. Curly strands fall in your face.

He blinks. “Wait, really?” You nod harder. “You sure?”

Something in you snaps. He can see it in your eyes. You grab him by the hand and damn near drag him out the door.

A quick trip up the stairs and across the main deck and he's pushing open the door to his quarters. You bustle past him and, once the click of the lock sounds, you grab him by the collar and yank him into another kiss, just as wet and desperate as the last.

He barely has enough time to shuck his coat about you throw him onto the bed, clambering atop him. You're a bit heavier than he expects. Not that he says that to your face, but you’re so light on your feet that he was starting to think you were filled with cotton candy. You're certainly sweet enough.

You yank his hat from his head and toss it aside. His bandana follows and his hair falls around his shoulders.

You suck in a breath. “So pretty.”

He shrugs. “Thanks-- mmph.”

He’s silenced by you standing on your knees to pull his hair out of its pigtails. This requires you to stick your tits in his face and oh my god they're like big marshmallows you smell like cinnamon.

He can't help himself. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in closer, breathing deeply. So warm, so soft.

You giggle and the vibration makes his face tingle. You pull away to fiddle with your blouse buttons. “Wanna know a secret?” you whisper.

“Is the secret boobs?” Wow, what the hell was that? He needs to stop talking.

Lucky for him, you grin. You open your blouse and a whole lot more than he was expecting spills out. You toss the blouse to the side and plant your hands on your hips. “Va-va-voom.”

He's speechless. Shaken. Struck utterly dumb by the sight before him. All he can do is pull off his gloves and take them in his hands, pushing them, weighing them, squeezing them. There’s just… so much. Round, squishy, bouncy, threatening to surge right out of your lacy bra.

“I am but one man,” he mumbles.

That makes you giggle and that makes them jiggle. Like two sacks of...like a pair of...

...he can't think of a metaphor that isn't unpleasant, so he just sticks his face in there again before something else stupid comes out of his mouth. You laugh even more and it vibrates against his cheeks and his -- that... -- and if God struck him down at this very second he would die a happy man.

You let him linger a moment before throwing your weight forward to push him onto the bed. He whimpers like a kicked puppy as you pull away.

You nibble your lip and knit your brow up as you fumble with his belt. “I showed you mine, now you show me yours.”

He's flattered, but it's the only thing keeping his stomach in check. That can't come off yet.

He takes your hands in his own. “What's the rush, beautiful?” he says. He brings them to his lips, first one, then the other. He gently kisses your knuckles, your palms, your wrists. “This is your show. We got all night.”

You're cute when you huff. You're even cuter when your face screws up into a pout. You yank your hands away and plant them on your soft hips. “Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this?” you whine.

That throws him for a loop and a half. You've wanted him too? Someone as clever and cute and talented as you wanted... him? He's not used to that. Not used to that at all.

He's stunned just long enough for you to get his belt open. You move on to his vest straps next, making quick work of those. He sucks his stomach in just as you pull it open.

Your eyes widen, and you break into a grin as they sweep up and down his torso. “Oh, hell-o,” you say, voice breathless.

He's bright red, he just knows it. “Hi,” he replies dumbly. He hopes the strain in his voice isn't too obvious.

You grin even wider. Your fingers ghost up his sides -- thank God it's his feet that are ticklish -- right up to his pecs. You give them a squeeze, not unlike how he palmed your breasts a few moments ago. The slightest of squeaks escapes him.

“I knew you were hiding something good,” you say. You give his nipples a tweak -- he squeaks louder -- and trail your fingers down to his waistband. “Let's see what else you've been keeping from me.”

He knows you're talking about his dick. He panics all the same.

He shoots a hand out to kill the light -- that should buy him some time -- and throws his weight into flipping you over. You squeal as he pins you to the bed and yanks your pants off.

And then he realizes. Your breasts? They're proportional.

Beneath him is the most lovely expanse of body he's ever seen. Soft and warm and squishy and made of convex curves that flow from gentle arms and smooth shoulders right into a pair of plump hips and shapely thighs.

He can't form words. He can't form thoughts. All he can do is stare with his mouth dropped open. What else can you do when you're in the presence of the divine?

And then he sees your face. Your eyes wide and unsure as they dart around the room. Your lips pressed together into a terse line. 

“What?” he asks.

The line scrunches to the side. “I'm bigger than I ought to be, I know,” you say. You sound as if you've said it a thousand times.

He gets mad. He can't help it. It's what he does. “Are you shitting me?”

You flinch a little, though more out of surprise than fear. “N-No, I don't--”

He wants to say so many things. About how this is perfection. About how you are the most gorgeous human being he's ever laid eyes on. About how this is everything he's ever wanted in life. How you're everything and you shouldn't be so damn sheepish.

But he can't get it out. All that comes out is a raspy, rude, “Shut the fuck up.”

You stare at him in shock. And not the fun shock. It's the kind where you're not sure if you've stepped on eggshells or not.

Fuck it. No time for words. He grabs your thighs and pulls you forward, yanking your panties off and sweet holy shit you don't shave down there how could you possibly be any more perfect?

His mouth waters. His cock throbs. He dives in. He drags his tongue up your inner thighs, soft and smooth and sweet as that pie.

“Captain--!” A nip to the tender flesh turns the exclamation into a squeak.

“I said shut up,” he says between kisses.

Finally, you stop talking. You only pant and moan as he shoves his face into your pussy, lapping at your already sopping cunt. Did he do this? Are you this wet because of him?

He can't help it. He stuffs his hand down the front of his pants to fondle himself. Like the desperate bastard he is, his cock’s hard and leaking already.

He grinds against his palm as he gorges himself on you. Licking, sucking, swirling, punctuating with a few nips for good measure. It's all harmonized by the most beautiful sounds he's ever heard flowing from your lips, high-pitched and whiny.

He's not sure how long has passed when you grab his head and push him away. Time flows strangely between your thighs.

You've got a crazed look in your eyes again. “I want you inside me.”

He wants to say something clever, something cool and on brand for him, like it's not time for the finale yet or but my leading lady isn't satisfied.

But that would delay being inside you and he's too addled to think of anything. He jumps to his feet and wriggles out of his trousers and shorts. If he were more aware of himself, he'd be humiliated by just how much he has to shimmy and dance around to get them off his hips, but there's not enough blood in his brain to be self-conscious.

He kicks them away in whatever direction. Something crashes to the floor and he doesn't care. He looks back to your beautiful face--

You're wide-eyed as you look at him. He follows your gaze, right down to his--

In all the excitement, he's not sucking it in anymore.

Now it's his turn to be sheepish. He sucks it in again. But he can't hold it. Too much blood in his cock. He tries again with the same result.

Unfortunately for him, it's drawn your attention even more. Off comes your bra, and you don't take your eyes off his stomach the whole time.

Now he really can't think anymore. They're just so pretty and perfect. You're so pretty and perfect. He doesn't deserve this. This is a hell of a mismatch if ever there was one. You, divinity in the flesh. Him, a fat, dirty old clown.

This is a joke. It has to be. Someone put you up to this and now you're gonna back out and he's gonna let you because you deserve better so he better just rip the bandage off now and--

“Out,” he spits. “Get out.”

You blink at him in shock, then your face hardens. You speak with the firmness of a queen who's sick of her courtiers’ bullshit. “Get over here and get on top of me.”

You're mocking him. You gotta be. There’s no other explanation. “I said--”

You look him in the eyes. Something dangerous glitters there. “Buggy, get the fuck on top of me.”

It comes out at a hoarse yell. “Stop mocking me!”

You spring upwards and, with that wild strength that surprises him every time, you throw him on the bed. It squeaks as he bounces -- actually, that might have come from him.

You've got a look on your face he can only describe as murderous. “I did not wait two months for you to chicken out,” you say. You clamber onto him. “I did not wait two fucking months for you to finally man up and say something only for you to get self-conscious!”

Fear, anger, and arousal battle for control of his body. Arousal wins. You are hot as a griddle when you're mad.

You sit yourself on his belly, just above his cock. It twitches against your ass and he's sure it's made of clouds and he groans.

“Look at me,” you say.

He doesn't. He can't. He doesn't want to see the scorn that's surely in your eyes.

You learn forward and grab his chin, squeezing his cheeks and forcing him to look. Even in the dim light, he can see the sheen of sweat on your face and the rise and fall of your chest as you pant.

“If you want me to leave, I will,” you say, “but you will never get this chance again.”

No. No no no no. He wants you. He wants you so bad. He's never had perfection this close and it's never wanted him as much as you seem to.

“Do you want me to leave?” you ask firmly.

He shakes his head so hard it hurts.

You don't grin. You simply release his chin and lift yourself up. You lower yourself on his cock and, as he watches it disappear, inch by slick inch into your hot, wet pussy, the battle is over.

He doesn't care if this is a trick anymore. He's going to get his.

He grabs your thighs and pulls you down onto him, fingers sinking into the smooth flesh. You gasp as he bottoms out, gripping the swell of his hips. He doesn't care. They're called love handles for a reason.

And then you start to bounce.

It starts in your legs. Pumping your thighs to lift yourself up and drop down onto his cock. The jolt ripples through your whole body, from your thighs to your belly to your breasts.

He's transfixed. So transfixed that he doesn't even notice you grabbing his pecs, squishing and squashing them between your gentle fingers. You tweak his nipples and he damn near howls.

He can't let you have all the fun. He pops his hand off to swirl his fingers around your clit.

But you don't cry out or moan. You start babbling. Something about eating and how hot he is and how much you love that he loves your cooking and it's all interspersed with pleasant-sounding gibberish. But he doesn't hear a word of it. You're too warm and slick and it goes in one ear and it the other.

But the sounds. God, the sounds of him sliding in and out of you. Wet and disgusting and it makes his mouth water and his cock leak and that just makes it wetter--

The slap of skin on skin and wet on wet and his moans and your chattering all mingle into a delicious symphony. 

But it stops all too soon. Your breath hitches and you bend at the waist, singing his name like a songbird, the same little melody over and over. “Buggy, Buggy, Buggy...!”

His name dissolves into little yips and gasps as your cunt flutters around his cock. It's so good. Better than treasure. Better than adrenaline. Better than a full belly after a hard day's work--

He realizes he's not wearing a condom. Fuck. “Where ya want it?” he grunts.

You don't hesitate. “In me,” you say between gasps.

In you? Inside you? Spilling his hot, wet cum into your hot, wet cunt? Your cunt? Soaking it? Seeding it? Making it even messier and sloppier and filling you up so much that--

He almost pops right then and there, but he bites his lip. “Nuh-uh. Where?”

“In me!” you spit.

He whines the most unmanly of whines. He will. He won't. He wants to. He can't. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Captain,” you whimper, “Buggy, please...”

He looks up at you. Your hands on his chest, your breasts heaving with each breath, your little belly rising and falling, your luscious thighs on either side of his hips, your lips dropped open as you pant, your bush surrounding his fingers--

God damn it.

He throws you to the side as he pops like a champagne cork. A few drops end up on you, but most of it splatters onto the underside of his belly, where it's started obeying gravity.

One hand grips the sheets and the other grips something warm and his hips buck and his head swims and his mouth makes utterly pathetic noises. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

He crashes back to earth like a meteor strike. All he can see is white as he flops back onto the mattress, gasping for breath.

He has no idea how long it takes for him to recover. But something soft tickles the knuckles of his detached hand. A shudder racks him as he turns his head towards you.

Post-orgasm haze still clouds your eyes, but they're big and round as a doe’s as you cradle his hand close to his face. You press your lips to his knuckles.

He gives a weak smile. “Hi.”

You giggle. God, he loves that giggle. He wishes he could hear it every day. He'd put it in a sea shell if he could, carry it around in his pocket and press it to his ear whenever he feels lonely. Or spin it into cotton candy. It's certainly light and sweet enough. Or whip it up onto a foam and fold it into batter like he watched you do that one time for cake...

His stomach growls. He needs to stop thinking about food.

You kiss his knuckles again, still smiling so very sweetly. “Are you alright?”

“Fuckin’ amazing,” he mumbles. It's the truth.

Detaching his other hand, he feels around on the floor. There's a towel here somewhere... Unless he threw it on the chair... Or over the folding screen...

He finds it slung over the door of his wardrobe. He offers it to you, but you shake your head. “After you.”

Suit yourself. He mops his belly up as you watch. Shit, this was a big one.

Satisfied, he tosses the towel away. He rolls over to take you in his arms, but he finds nothing. You're standing up, pulling his coat on and closing it around your front.

“Get over here,” he says. “That's an order.”

“I gotta clean up,” you say.

He panics. He can't help it. His voice quivers like a child's. “Don’t leave. Please.”

You give him a kind look that almost makes him cry. “I’ll be right back,” you coo. “I promise.”

He doesn't want to be alone. Not now. Tears prick at his eyes and his lip quivers. But you're out the door before he can stop you.

You're not coming back. He knows it. He disappointed you. How could he not? You're beautiful. You're divine. You're perfect.

And what is he? A fat old clown.

He lays there, shivering in the cold air, too afraid to move. Too aware of his shortcomings. Too aware of every flaw, every defect, every deficiency. His temper. His teeth. His nose. His appetite. His everything.

The door opens. The moonlight frames your silhouette for a moment before you close the door behind you.

He nearly sobs with relief. You don't notice, thankfully, as you shuck his coat.

He launches his arms at you as he sits upright, pulling you into an embrace as he falls back down. He lays you to the side, slipping under your arm and tucking his head in the crook between your chin and chest.

You thread your fingers through his hair. “Don't tell me you thought I wasn't coming back.”

He murmurs something he forgets as soon as it leaves his lips. You're so soft. So warm. So comfortable. And he's so exhausted.

You giggle. You kiss his forehead and slide your fingers through his hair. “Bonwee, sha.”

He has no idea what that means, but you say it with such warmth that it must be something good. He snuggles up close to you.

Rocked by the sea and calmed by your heartbeat, he drifts off.

---

He sleeps well, but he stirs a few times.

The first is when you shift out from under him, mumbling something in a language he can't place. You roll onto your side, your back to him. He doesn't like that at all and pulls you in to be the little spoon. You squeak. It's cute. He doesn't care that his belly presses against your back. 

He stirs again when his arm falls asleep and he rolls onto his side. You follow him this time. You press yourself right up against his back, breasts and belly and thighs squishing against him. You're so warm.

The final time is as the gray light of dawn slips through the windows. He's shaken from a dream and he grumbles.

“I gotta go get started on breakfast,” you whisper. “Just wanted to let you know I wasn't lovin’ and leavin’.”

That's so sweet of you. “You're so sweet,” he mumbles sweetly.

You giggle. “See you in a few hours.”

You kiss the tip of his nose and he's not even upset.

===

You had a lovely night, but you're walking a bit funny and it's making your usual bustling around the galley just difficult enough to be annoying. And the visions of your stark naked captain filling your head are making it even harder.

You're a very simple woman, like your mother before you. You like men. You like food. You like men who like food. You especially like men who like your food.

Captain Buggy's a man. Captain Buggy likes food. And he loves your food, if his constant hovering in the galley is anything to go on. And he loves it a lot and it's showing.

The memory of him lying beneath you, his warm hips against your thighs, his belly wobbling as you bounce atop him, his head thrown back in bliss, surprises you just as you're tossing a flapjack. It slams into the ceiling and stays there.

Your fellow cook, a swarthy fellow going by Bloomer, casts the new ceiling decor an odd look. He turns it on you. “You alright, girl?”

You know what? Screw this. Everyone else can handle breakfast. “I'm gonna go wake up the captain,” you say. “How's he like his coffee?”

Milk and two cubes of sugar, he tells you. You put in cream and three cubes. Man's gotta get his strength back from last night, you tell yourself as you set off across the deck. 

You knock three times on the door. No answer. You knock harder. Still nothing. You take that as a sign he may be dead and enter just in case.

Captain Buggy is, in fact, quite alive, if not also naked. He's in front of the mirror... or his face is, anyways. His body is turned completely around as he examines the reflection of his rear. He grabs a handful, thick fingers sinking into the squish. He gives it a jiggle and it wobbles.

You don't blame him. It's a great ass. Perfect for grabbing and digging your nails into. Next time, you're making him get on top so you can do just that. 

But you prefer his front. That's where all the good shit is. Soft, muscular pecs, perfect for grabbing and groping, covered in a dusting of hair that trails down to his soft belly.

His hands go there next, pinching his sides. He gives them a shake and his belly bounces. 

That little zing shoots up your gut and into your throat, that one you always get around men like him. That same one as when you first saw him from across the diner, draining a pitcher of beer. The same one you had last night when you walked in on him eating pie filling. And now, watching him preening after a wild romp.

...or you thought he was preening. He turns his body around and as his hands go to his face -- he's got a stronger jawline than you'd expected when he's barefaced -- you notice his laugh lines deepen. He lets out a grunt of disgust as his lips curl.

You frown. He's saying ugh as if you couldn't keep your hands off of him last night. Coaxing him in closer with pie filling just so you could feel his body molding against yours. Grabbing his cheeks and yanking him in for a kiss you'd been craving for months. Dragging him to his cabin and fucking yourself on him while you dug your nails into whatever soft flesh you could grab.

You close the door with a firm check of the hips. The slam startles him, but he calms as he sees you. Somewhat. There's still an uneasy look in his eye.

“G’morning,” he says. A little blush blooms across his cheeks. He avoids eye contact.

He'd be cute if he wasn't pathetic. You set the coffee down on the nearest surface and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your hands on the swell just above his hips and resting your cheek between his shoulder blades.

“Thank you for finally taking the hint,” you say into his skin.

He chuckles, a low, vibrating thrum. “I never miss a cue, baby.”

Lies. You've been trying everything. Flirting. Making his favorite food. You even went braless one day on a supply run with him and he didn't even blink. Idiot.

“Then why'd it take you so damn long?”

He scoffs. “Had to make sure I wasn't seeing things,” he mumbles.

He's so pathetic. Like a wet cat. You can't help but squeeze his sides--

He jumps away from you like you gave him an electric shock. “Stop it!” he spits.

You blink. “Stop what?”

“Stop-- Stop mocking me!”

You blink a few more times. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

The flush deepens along with his scowl. “Quit touching me like that.”

Not what he was saying last night. “Like what?”

“Stop grabbing my--” He huffs. “I know I’m fat. Quit rubbing it in.”

Pardon? Did you hear that correctly? Does he know who he's talking to? You try to keep your tone even, but you were never good at that. “Permission to speak freely, Captain?”

He blanches. “...No.”

Too bad. You grab him by the waist and throw him onto the bed. He yelps as he bounces, then once again as you straddle his waist.

“Buggy. Darling. Cher,” you say. “Do you really think I would have fucked you if I didn't think you were hot shit?”

He simmers like a boiling pot with the lid still on. “Maybe!”

Pour l’amour de Dieu, c’est un contraieuse et un tête de cabri et pourquoi ce clown so fucking stupid?

You scoot backwards, kissing your way down his chest. Each one gets a tiny grunt from him until you get to his belly. He growls and tries to roll away, but you hold fast. You gently kiss just above his navel, then the tuft of blue hair right below it.

You peer up at him. He peers back, brow knit up, questioning you.

You press your face into his navel and blow a raspberry against his skin.

Buggy squeal-laughs. You've never heard him make that noise before and it's very cute. You do it again and he devolves into laughter.

“Sto-o-op!” he cackles.

You do not. You do it again and again until he's wheezing and not scowling any more. You stare up at him, fingering the tuft of hair below his navel.

He comes down slowly, cackles turning to giggles to breathless gasps. He finally sees you staring. “What?”

“Feeling better?” you ask. He huffs, but he does nod. “Good. Now stop being mean to my favorite captain.”

He frowns a bit at that. “Who’s that? Alvida? When'd she come up?” You keep staring at him. He blinks. “Wait, you mean--?”

Gros couillion. “No, the other guy I fucked last night,” you say. He bristles. Fuck’s sake. “Yes, you!”

He blinks again. The flush returns. “You mean that?”

“I wouldn't be on top of your naked-ass body if I didn't.” You place lean in close, the tip of your nose bumping his. “And you have a very nice body, Captain.”

Just for emphasis, you grab his side, right at the fleshiest part, and give a hard squeeze. He jumps, but nods.

He tries to dive in for a kiss, but you pull away. If you do that, you'll be here all morning. You stand up, offering him your hands. “C’mon, breakfast is ready,” you say.

“I'm not hungry.” His stomach growls. He glares at it. “Shut up.”

Trump card time. “Guess I'll just have to feed all those beignets to Richie, then.”

His eyes go wide. “...you made bin-yays?”

He still can't pronounce it right, but he's getting there. “Sure did,” you say coolly. You examine your nails. “Won't be good for much longer.”

His stomach growls again. “And that pie?” 

“Should be good to go, but you better be quick. They'll go fast.”

He jumps to his feet and licks his lips. “Well, keep some for me! Lemme-- Lemme get dressed and I'll be right down.”

“Don't take too long,” you say.

You turn to leave, but he grabs your hand. With a yank and a twirl, he pulls you flush against him and into a kiss.

You melt right into it. Rough lips move against yours, his warm body molds against you, strong arms holding you tight, belly pressing against yours... his nose squishing into your cheek. Wonderful, all of it.

You separate with a pop. He grins at you and wipes his wrist along his lips. “Didn’t think I was gonna let you leave without that?”

You blush. Now he decides to be slick. “Just get dressed.”

You twirl him around and, with a flat hand, you swat his ass. Just to see it quiver. The slap echoes in the small room and he jumps, but you can't stick around to see the look on his face.

You've got work to do.

---

Special thanks to my bf, Meg, and Ollie for beta-ing!

To the Mastahpost | To the Tip Jar

[bloodykora]

Hi hi!! I love your work and I seen the request for buggy related things ! I’ve had touch starved buggy in my head for about a week maybe some head canons or a Drabble where reader is the one who’s been watching him till they get to Arlong park and has been the one to wash his hair n such till that point and when he gets his body back it’s like instant tackle that man just needs a hug

Lord, this man just wants love. I’ve kinda already covered bits and pieces of this in other writings so if it’s more empty then that is why.

- You’re definitely feeding him, making sure no bugs get to him, putting him somewhere safe for the night.

- And honestly, you’re touch-starved too. It’s a mutual benefit. And you don’t expect anything back, no berry or promising he won’t continue pirating on. Just accepting who he is

- In his head he is holding your hand, in his head he’s grazing the side of your face with his thumb, in his head he’s getting on his knees and kissing your hand like you are royalty.

- But he’s still Buggy. He complains about soap getting into his eye, how you don’t put his cap back on properly, etc. Pushing you away but not whole heartedly.

- On the late nights you hold his head while mumbling about nothing, just stroking his cheeks. He almost tears up, wanting to sob in your arms but holding back.

- You’re there with Sanji and Zoro, trying to keep up with them fighting. You can hear Buggy begging to be let out, feeling his body nearby. And Sanji does so.

- You watch the head fly through the air to the body secured to a fair like game wall. Watching as he pops his hands off to escape the restraints. He makes a quick exit, the boys not caring but you.

- You look between them and the blue haired clown running, an instant decision made. Your legs taking you as far and fast as they can towards him through the woods.

- He didn’t even notice you at first until he slowed a bit to hear thumping behind him. He spins, stopping entirely when he sees your face and panting chest,

- “You were just! You’re going! No thought of it?” You can’t really compose your thoughts into a coherent sentence. “I have my own ship to captain bugaboo, I wasn’t expecting you to run after me.” You just stand there panting, tears welling up in your eyes.

- He feels bad, guilt for just leaving you. He’s not really sure how to help, his hand reaching out to you but pulling it back. You’re the one to cave in first, swiftly getting into his arms and shoving your face into his chest.

- Buggy freezes for a minute before wrapping his arms around you tightly, his head leaning onto yours. He doesn’t know how it’s going to be when he leaves but right now, right now this was the most important thing.

- And maybe.. just maybe. You leave with him. (That’s up to you though) 

[cookierunauprompts]

Okay, okay hear me out.

This is an idea me and onesies thought of..

So you can go where ever direction you want with this prompt

But I give you

Shadow milk with hypnotism

Anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain I've ever seen?/pos

Requested Prompts #3 - 💓

You had gotten separated from your friends when the beast had escaped, the blast of energy knocking you a decent way out of the fairy kingdom and into Beast Yeast... Thank God that White Lily Cookie had managed to seal up the rift before the other four could get out beforehand. One gigantic cookie to fight against was enough after all. It was rather unfortunate that you got blasted into a rather dark part of the forest, you felt like there were eyes watching your every single movement. You wandered around, a chill seeping into your dough as you remembered Shadow Milk Cookie's words before you all got blasted away... " Ready or not, here I come! Ehe he he ha ha hah~!" Was this all like a game to the giant beast? The thought terrified you, you should hide, and quick. So you looked around for a hiding place, any kind would be good so long as it was a good one. Was it just you, or could you hear his laughter echoing through the trees? it was totally just you, right? Apparently the universe loves to prove you wrong, seeing as two giant cookie hands slam down onto the ground at both your sides as a humongous shadow is cast over you. " Peek-a-boo~ I see you~!" You could hear Shadow Milk Cookie almost mockingly coo as you turned around and fell on your backside out of fear. How'd he find you so quickly?! " Oh my dear, there's no need to be scared!" He chuckled, scooping you up in one giant hand. If there was a chance you could escape unscathed before, then it was certainly gone by now. " After all, you've got me here!" " Wh-what do you want from me?!" You stammer out, voice catching in your throat one he stared down at you with those absolutely humongous heterochromatic blue eyes of his. You felt like a new piece of candy in a candy store being examined by at kid to determine if it's worth eating or not. The overgrown jester sighed, putting a hand to his head in an exasperated manner. " Oh, woe is me! The rare moment I find kindness in my heart to bestow upon another cookie, they be ever so rude about it!" He dramatically sulked, you almost felt bad for the guy... almost. " But! Such a small little treat like you shouldn't be wandering the forests of Beast-Yeast alone! No no no no no! That wouldn't do at all!" He proclaimed, suddenly a lot more cheerful that it almost gave your emotional whiplash. With his other hand, he tilted your head up so you'd be staring right into his vibrant gaze. Was it just you, or were his eyes swirling? " So just trust in me alone, and I'll get you somewhere safe~" You can feel something worming it's way into your head. Why shouldn't you trust Shadow Milk Cookie? Maybe he's just a huge softie under all that malice and mischief. No, no, he definitely tried to crumble your friends earlier. But he's so strong, and you're just a weak little cookie who can barely fight off the monsters of Beast-Yeast on their own- Wait. " Gah! No! Get out.... of my head!" You squirmed away from his grasp, shutting your eyes as you buried your face into his hand. You refused to be mind controlled by this... this giant clown! You could hear him laughing again, a sound that haunted your ears as you felt him tenderly stroke your back in a way that made your shiver. " Eheh he heh~ It's really cute when you try to resist," He purred, flipping you onto your back with a simple maneuver. Then, to your absolute shock, he lent down and kissed your forehead...? " I like you, Reader Cookie!" He chirped. What.... what even was that?! He kissed you!? That- what- That's certainly not a normal thing to happen! Your guard had been lowered into the ground and buried, allowing Shadow Milk Cookie to worm his way into your mind without any issues whatsoever. Your vision felt hazy, what were you doing again? Oh, right, staring into Shadow Milk Cookie's eyes... They really were pretty eyes, so many pretty shades of blue swirling around in them. But before that? ... Does it really matter? Shadow Milk laughed from above, his voice echoing all around the forest.

" There we go~! That wasn't so hard now, wasn't it Little Star?" He cooed, stroking your face gently with his hand. It was an almost tender motion, you weren't really sure what to make of it. " Now, why don't we go and find your friends? I'm sure that they're dying to reunite with you!" You slowly nodded, right, your friends… Your friends? You… don't quite remember their faces, but it'll come to you eventually… you hope. " Eheh he he he he~! One down, five to go~" Shadow milk cackled to himself as he began walking through the forests of Beast-Yeast with you in hand.

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

---

Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

[acescorazon]

A continuation of this ^^^^^^ ((posting a screenshot of the original ask because before the fic/new series didn't have a name lol))

Title: Changes

Pairing: Cross Guild

Rating: M

Chapter 2/?

Word count: 2385

Warnings: Crocodile, Violence, Explicit Language.

Chapter excerpt:

“Hey, Clown, what the fuck is this?!”   

Don’t tell his crew this, but, Buggy isn’t the brave pirate that they think he is! As soon as he hears that all too familiar cold, emotionless, voice belonging to Crocodile, he tenses. He’s going to die. He’s going to die. He’s going to fucking die. Buggy doesn’t turn around, he’s too afraid to look at Crocodile. He doesn’t want to see what kind of face he’s making right now, but he knows he’s probably red in the face and glaring at him. Buggy feels hot again, and now a little dizzy, like he might faint all of a sudden. He doesn’t want to die, not like this.

Before Crocodile can approach him, before he can so much as say another word, Buggy’s feet are acting on their own accord. They lift up off the ground and carry him away from this newfound threat as fast as possible. He briefly wonders if he should risk taking one of his ships out to sea anyways, or if he should just hide somewhere and wait until he can figure out how to get off the island, but he doesn’t know what’s the right thing to do and he’s terrified of making the wrong choice.

[Previous Part]

Buggy is doomed. He’s going to die. He’s really going to die. He feels like he’s waiting for the end of the world to come, and he can’t breathe. This is his last day on earth. His men made sure that stupid Cross Guild flyer was distributed all across the globe, and it’s only a matter of time before Crocodile and Mihawk catch wind of what the flyer looks like. Oh, Buggy is in deep shit. He’s been wandering around the island for over an hour in a panicked daze, checking his ships, and hoping that one of them is in good enough condition to use for an escape, but the fucking Marines either sunk or severely damaged every ship he’s got.

There are tears in Buggy’s eyes already, he’s so scared to find out what Crocodile is going to do to him once he sees that damn flyer. He has to go, he needed off this island, like, a whole day ago, and he doesn’t know why he didn’t leave before all this could happen…oh, wait, that’s right, he doesn’t have any functioning ships thanks to the Marines… Good grief, what did he do to deserve this? Buggy’s going to die. Crocodile is going to murder him, he’s going to murder him and no one’s going to stop him because all of his men think that Crocodile is a hero and on their side. They don’t know Buggy borrowed money from Crocodile and….

“Hey, Clown, what the fuck is this?!”

   

Don’t tell his crew this, but, Buggy isn’t the brave pirate that they think he is! As soon as he hears that all too familiar cold, emotionless, voice belonging to Crocodile, he tenses. He’s going to die. He’s going to die. He’s going to fucking die. Buggy doesn’t turn around, he’s too afraid to look at Crocodile. He doesn’t want to see what kind of face he’s making right now, but he knows he’s probably red in the face and glaring at him. Buggy feels hot again, and now a little dizzy, like he might faint all of a sudden. He doesn’t want to die, not like this.

Before Crocodile can approach him, before he can so much as say another word, Buggy’s feet are acting on their own accord. They lift up off the ground and carry him away from this newfound threat as fast as possible. He briefly wonders if he should risk taking one of his ships out to sea anyways, or if he should just hide somewhere and wait until he can figure out how to get off the island, but he doesn’t know what’s the right thing to do and he’s terrified of making the wrong choice.

As Buggy runs for his life, he hears Crocodile shouting at him from a distance, which is to be expected, but he also faintly hears a pair of footsteps growing closer and closer to him as if there’s something or someone right behind him, chasing after him. God, please don’t be who I think it is. Let it be a bug. Let it be Richie. Let it be anyone, but…  

Buggy turns his head slowly, looking over his shoulder and through blurry vision. He screams in absolute horror the moment he locks eyes with a pair of piercing yellow eyes that are right behind him, “Hawkeye, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” He screams, trying to run away from both Crocodile and Mihawk now. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” No matter how many times he apologizes, Mihawk doesn’t reply. There’s a look of disgust and what can only be described as pure hatred on Mihawk’s face as he reaches behind him and grabs the sword off his back.

No, no, no!

Buggy splits his body into pieces before Mihawk can slash him with his sword, “Mihawk! Hawk…Hawkeye! Please.” It doesn’t have to be like this! The last thing Buggy wants to do is fight or get pummeled. It’s just a flyer, can’t Mihawk and Crocodile be more reasonable? Do they have to be so angry?! Can’t they talk about it like three adults?! “Mihawk, I’M SO SORRY.” He screams, dodging another slash from Mihawk’s sword. He continues to run despite the fact that his lungs are starting to burn, knowing that if he stops, things are as good as over for him.

All of a sudden, A cloud of sand engulfs him. It’s as if he ran right into the center of a sandstorm, and sand gets in his eyes, in his nose, and in his mouth. He starts coughing violently, unsure of where the hell all the sand even came from until he feels a very firm hand wrap around his throat. He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe…

“Croc.…” He tries calling out for Crocodile, unable to even see the other man, but he knows somewhere in the back of his mind that all this sand and the hand around his neck right now can only belong to Crocodile. The grip around his neck only tightens as Buggy tries to beg for his life, and Buggy can’t think. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s dead. He’s so dead. Out of instinct, and instinct alone, he splits his body into pieces again with the goal of getting Crocodile to let go of his neck, which he does… But a moment later, Crocodile tangles his fingers through Buggy’s hair, “Fuckin coward.” he hisses, and Buggy’s close to bawling his eyes out. He can fix the flyer, he can have a new one designed, he can do anything Crocodile wants him to as long as he doesn’t kill him.    

The sandy cloud around him slowly disappears now that Crocodile has him by his head, but sand is still burning Buggy’s eyes, nose, and throat as he cries, “Please.. I’m sorry. I didn’t know tha--”

Never in Buggy’s thirty something years of life has he ever been punched in the face with a hook, until now. Crocodile’s gold hook catches him right on the eyebrow, almost striking his eye but not quite, regardless the pain is indescribable and as soon as the cold metal makes contact with his skin, he lets out a pained shriek, “Crocodile…I…wait…” he mutters, honestly feeling like his brain got a little shaken from one punch from Crocodile, “Wait, please, don’t kill m---” Crocodile punches him again, and this time his hook does make contact with his eye, and it’s more painful than any strike that Buggy’s ever been dealt before.

 Don’t wanna die…Buggy thinks, pathetically.

“Wanna punch this piece of shit too?” Crocodile asks, suddenly, raising Buggy’s head up in the air. Buggy opens his one good eye, realizing that Mihawk is now standing in front of them, still looking as pissed off as before. Mihawk is a man of honor, right..? Mihawk wouldn’t beat an already beaten and bruised clown, would he?

“Do you even have to ask such a pointless question?”

…

Okay, wow, Mihawk Isn’t a man of honor after all! He and Crocodile beat Buggy’s face in, then Crocodile carries Buggy’s decapitated head back inside Buggy’s main tent like it’s nothing but a sack of shit. Buggy’s face hurts so much and he can taste blood at the back of his mouth…and he didn’t want to die before, but now… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. “Can’t fucking believe this shit.” Crocodile mutters as he and Mihawk have a seat on the luxurious couch in the center of the tent.  At first Buggy thought they were just pissed because of the flyer incident, but it turns out that they’re mad about that and because…because…

Buggy’s one of the four emperors now?!

Now if this was announced when he wasn’t being brutally assaulted, maybe he’d be overcome with joy by that announcement. The government feared him so much that they made him one of the four emperors and he should be happy, but since it was announced while Crocodile was stepping on his skull at the time, he didn’t have much to celebrate about. Even now, as Crocodile and Mihawk continue to hold him hostage essentially, he can’t enjoy his new power and status. “I’m so sorry,” Buggy apologizes for what has to be the hundredth time within the last hour. Crocodile and Mihawk don’t care if he apologizes though, they hate his guts, and they've just been insulting him and humiliating him nonstop, and their cruel words repeat in Buggy’s throbbing head, over and over again:

“Worthless fuckin clown.”

“It blows my mind that they made you one of the four emperors.”

“Can’t do a goddamn thing.”  

“You’re pathetic, stop crying.”

“Fucking crybaby.”

There are so many other things that the two have said to him within a short span of time, so many vile, hate filled things that he can’t remember it all, but everything hurts the same. And some things even hurt more than being punched in the face. “I’m sorry…” he repeats, “Please, spare me…” Mihawk makes a comment about how Buggy’s the only man who’s become an emperor by just apologizing after that, while Crocodile goes on about how he and Mihawk are the ones who founded Cross Guild, questioning why everyone thinks Buggy is the boss instead of them, and Buggy whines pathetically. He didn’t want any of this! He was honestly fine just being an errand boy.  He doesn’t know why the government made him one of the four emperors either! And He didn’t know his men were going to make their flyer look like that.

 Everything’s been out of Buggy’s control, but they won’t listen to him. 

To make things worse, that insufferable traitor, Galdino, is right by Crocodile’s side, once again offering him his loyalty. After all the two have been through, he’s really just going to side with Crocodile again…? It’s mind boggling. He does see what kind of situation Buggy’s in right now, right? And he’s just going to ignore it all and pretend that Crocodile is some kind of larger than life superhero?   

Buggy doesn’t get to bicker with Galdino for long even though he wants to, because Crocodile is back to aggressively questioning him, asking about the flyer design as he shoves one of said flyers into his mouth. Buggy didn’t know any of this was going to happen! He tries to explain everything to Crocodile, again, hardly making sense because one, he has a busted lip, two, there’s something in his mouth, and three, because his mouth is moving a mile a minute. “I’m sorry, I’msosorry. So, so sorry.”

“SHUT UP.”

Having Crocodile screaming at him only makes Buggy sob harder, he’d be trembling violently if he still had his body right now. From his side, he faintly hears Mihawk sighing, “Maybe having him take all the spotlight off of us wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world…”

“You for real?!” Crocodile asks, seemingly in disbelief at Mihawk’s suggestion.

“Very. Let him be the center of attention since he wants it so badly, and let the world government worry about him instead of us. And if he becomes an inconvenience, we can just get rid of him.”

“Ha. I like that idea.”

Those brutes finally release Buggy after that, and whilst still a little dazed and shaken up, Buggy makes the announcement to all his men that Cross Guild is not only a thing, but that Mihawk and Crocodile are its chief officers, wondering where he went wrong in life at that very moment as he can still taste metallic in the back of his throat after his previous altercation.

His men are so…blind…and not in a literal sense. They cheer for the formation of Cross Guild, and Buggy can’t help but feel a little bitter because how can they be so…oblivious to what’s going on?

As soon as his announcement is finished, Crocodile orders Buggy to show him around the island better, meaning that Emptee Bluffs island is going to get three new permanent residents. Buggy is in desperate need of an ice pack but follows through with Crocodile’s cruel and unreasonable request, showing Crocodile, Daz, and Mihawk around the island, still in pain.

Crocodile is a man with many critiques, and Buggy finds that out quickly… “This place is like a fucking circus.” Well…Yes, yes it is. “It’s so tacky and tasteless… and It honestly gives me a headache. I’m not going to live in a damn tent forever.” Buggy holds the side of his head, listening to all of Crocodile’s complaints and criticisms, biting his tongue because he doesn’t want another ass beating. “I want my own private living quarters built, and I’ll also need an enclosure with a pond built.”

“...For what…?” Buggy asks cautiously.

“Pets.”

Buggy isn’t even going to ask Crocodile what kind of stupid pets he plans on bringing to the island, or why he needs a whole enclosure for them, instead he nods his head obediently and says he’ll see if he can find someone who can fulfill Crocodile’s requests. He’s kind of afraid that Crocodile will take everything over and redesign the entire island after Buggy painstakingly had someone else set up all the tents  on the island and decorate it. He likes the way the island looks and doesn’t want someone to come and change everything overnight…

“Daz needs a better place to stay in too, so better make it two private living quarters.”

Daz literally hasn’t said a word since he got to the island, how can Crocodile know what Daz wants, or rather needs in this case?! “What about you, Hawkeye?” Crocodile asks, lighting up his cigar, “You got anything you want?” Buggy feels like he’s going to cry again. God, these people have already beaten the shit out of Buggy and taken control over the island in less than two days, why do they just keep wanting more and more?

Mihawk looks around, taking a moment to think before replying to Crocodile’s previous question, “The circus tents are rather…tasteless.. but I can make do with my current accommodations.”Oh, god. They’re literally the worst people Buggy’s ever met in his life. How is he supposed to make this whole Cross Guild thing work with them? And, more importantly, how is he supposed to live on the same island as them?!

((A/N: Okay, now the story will get a little goofy and silly and separate from canon (as you can probably tell.) because Oda won't give us more Cross Guild content >:((( The only other additional thing i'm probably going to add to the story that's also canon is 1. The clown flagship and probably the part where Buggy's like my ex is going after the one piece and so are we boys uwu!!! ))

[Next part]

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) This is a very emotional episode for Lucy. Melissa’s acting in this one is outstanding. All I want to do most of this episode is hug her. And tie Chris to the back of a truck and just drive…Our lovely couple are apart in this episode but it’s such a good one. I have a lot of Chris rage in this one so prepare yourself haha Let’s get started.

4x17 Coding

We start off with Tamara making Lucy breakfast. I love her natural instinct to take care of Lucy in these moments. Just like Lucy did and still does for her. I adore their dynamic so very much. Tamara is protective when they talk about today. She doesn't understand why Lucy has to do this. Noting Rosalind is already serving four life sentences. She doesn’t like that the DA is making her dredge up painful memories just to slap on more charges. Lucy tells her it’s important to make sure she’s charged as an accessory to Caleb’s crimes. That Rosalind needs to be held accountable for that.

Most of her victims didn't make it...She is one of the lucky ones and doesn't want to waste that. Can see a strong sense of justice brewing deep in her soul as she explains this. I love how strong she is being for Tamara. Showing her what a bad ass she is. Modeling that for her. Tamara still has worry in her eyes and says she’s coming with. That she will have snacks and puppy videos at the ready. Be her emotional support human. Since her normal emotional support isn’t with her today. Love them.

Speaking of Lucy's ESH he’s at the hospital with Nolan. His car crash victim was a a rough one. I can’t watch the cold open for this one ever. I did it once and I bawled my eyes out. I can’t do stuff with kids after becoming an auntie. Her being sad the popsicles were gonna melt for her kid. That her husband would be mad about the car.

Makes me think of my niece, nephew and my sister. I just can’t handle it. But kudos to the writers for evoking that out of me. Glad John was there in her final moments but it was rough to watch. Tim comes up to him and notices Nolan is still in shock about it. Gah I would be too. I still can’t handle rewatching it let alone living it.

Tim is so wonderful and gives John some good perspective about it. That yeah it was rough and tragic no doubt about it. But that girl is going to get a new heart because of it. Tells him to try and focus on the silver lining of it all. Love this man. His empathy has grown leaps and bounds since we first met him. Was always there Lucy just needed to get it out of retirement when they met.

Lucy and Tamara arrive at the DA's office and we can see Lucy tense up. Just being in the office is setting her off already. She tells Tamara she’s going to the bathroom. She is so sweet and asks if she needs her come with? Lucy tells her no she handle that solo. We watch Lucy escape into a stairwell. Poor thing is in an absolute panic. Rubbing her DOD tattoo trying so hard to ground herself. I’ve been there where something just triggers your PTSD.

All you need is to find somewhere to expel all that energy surging through you. Because she is having an intense fight or flight moment. She is desperately trying to ground herself. Breaks my heart because I love her. Also because I’ve been her. I know this feeling she is experiencing. Nothing worse than getting engulfed in that sort of emotion. It's like the walls are closing in on you. It's what creates that flight instinct and you just need to get out just to breathe.

To be able to function at all. You can feel the panic rising in your throat and you’re drowning in it. Poor thing is getting flashes of what happened to her. It's taking her right back there. We watch her take a deep breath trying to reset her body. She clearly doesn’t want Tamara to see her like this. Ugh. This is just fuel for my hate fire later when I wanna bitch slap the clown. My heart hurts for her in this ep. It really does.

Tim is still at the hospital with Nolan. He continues his sweetness with John. Saying if he needs to see a counselor he can. Won’t be any charge to him. Look at our sweet empathetic Tim. I love it so much my heart is gonna burst. Their chat is interrupted by the hospital shutting down.

They find out quickly the man before them is ransoming the hospital to get his wife the heart. Wanting to steal it from that young girl for his wife instead. Threatens that he’ll shut down their entire network if they don’t do so. Tim looks pissed as hell. Which is kinda sexy tbh. They’re at his mercy it would seem...

Lopez comes charging in clearly ready for a fight. Asking for a status update on everything. They have the husband and wife separated atm. Her husband is being held in a conference room with an officer. Angela wants Tim to take a run at Jonah and sends Nolan to crack the wife. Hoping either the IT dept. will crack the hold on the network or they guys will get one of the spouses to fold.

Nolan is a swing and a miss with the wife. So we cut to Tim and Jonah. Tim looking particularly fine as he questions the husband. Has his hard stance going on trying to get this guy to crack. Telling him to dial back the threats that if he scales back now it won’t be as bad.

It’s here we see a man with nothing to lose. We watch Tim soften a little bit. It's when he says his wife is his entire life. Tim can relate to that and it shows as he’s listening. Doesn't last long though. He goes back into cop mode when Jonah starts threatening again. Saying soon enough something else will start with a new phase. It’s here we see a complete lock out of the system for the staff. Phase 2 has started.

We rejoin Lucy at the DA’s office. Chris has to take over since her normal person is out sick. He tried to reschedule but Lucy pushes against this. Saying they’re professionals and she can do this. I think she just wants it done and over with tbh. I hate how he questions her though. With this smug authority I cannot stand.

The more he pokes at the wound the more we see Lucy get agitated. Like a cornered animal being poked and prodded. Ready to lunge and attack at the slightest provocation. He is questioning everything about Caleb being connected to Rosalind. We watch her go back into fight or flight mode. As she examines the pictures and gets more flashes of her time in that horrible barrel.

Love her snapping at Chris when he says he’s just ‘Wants her to be ready.’ Schmuck.... He has this semi smile the entire time and I just wanna clean his clock so badly. He is beyond insensitive about this entire thing. Not reading her body language whatsoever. Seeing how tightly wound she is. I wish Tim could be there for her. He would be a much better rock for her. I hate Chris and this episode just ramps that right up.

Then comes the moment I was to punt Chris down the stairs. Like skipping a rock across the water. See how many flights I can get him to fall down with just my rage. He starts singing her barrel song like the dumbass he is. Showing the clueless SOB he truly is. Melissa crushes this scene though. The shaky way she delivers her lines. How she backs up every time Chris tries to approach her. Needing as much distance as she can get in that room.

The way she snapped at him earlier should've been evidence enough. The writing on the wall was there. He just needed to be extra sensitive. What does he do? Sing that song. It’s the way he says ‘Yeah it’s evidence.’ All cavalier. No clown it’s visual proof of the worst and most traumatic moment of her life. It is far more than just evidence you stupid schmuck. That was her death song. She thought it was over and she sang that as a way to comfort herself. It’s a deeply intimate and emotional thing for her. He’s treating it like it’s just part of the case.

We can see how the thought of him watching it is wrecking her. He keeps trying to close the gap and she keeps widening it. He is pushing her physical boundaries when she is screaming for him to stay away. Being the clueless oaf he is Chris continues to try. Saying he’s sorry, he’s in the DA office, blah blah blah. Meaningless words to her in this moment. Her saying ‘Yeah you said that already…’ She is disassociating in this moment. Trying to distance herself from him. Because he has wounded her and she needs time to regroup.

I hate that stupid semi smile on his face still. He’s truly not understanding what she needs in this moment. Makes my blood boil. Further proof he's not the guy for her. Tim can read every emotion. Know exactly what she needs. Then there is this putz. Shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as her at this point. Lucy has to practically beg him to give her a moment alone. Shaking and absolutely wrecked emotionally. I hate this so very much for her. She is in serious distress right now.

He's so selfish all he can thinking about is absolving his involvement. Not reading her emotional state whatsoever. Trying to push past her boundaries. She finally makes him go away. He storms off like a child. I'm shaking at how mad I am rewatching this. Especially with carrying PTSD myself. One of my trauma triggers is my physical boundaries being pushed. He had no damn right to impose himself on her like that. Chris has already proven he’s not the guy for her. This was the nail in his coffin IMO for that. What an absolute clown this man is….Melissa killing me softly with this scene.

We return to Tim and Nolan at the hospital. Someone has died due to Phase 2. So the hospital gives into his demands. Let’s his wife get the heart. I love how Tim wants to clean this guy's clock. Telling him to lose the attitude. Gah if he only knew what was going on at the DA’s office. His rage would be ten times what it is right now. Jonah restores the lights but only for the OR. Tells them he wants to be there for his wife’s surgery. To make sure they’re really doing it. This guy is something else. Tim re-cuffs him and they head to the OR together.

Lucy finds Chris and he jumps up and apologizes again. She cuts him off not having time for his BS. This isn't about you bub. She asks for him to get her the video. That he’s seen it and half the lawyers in this bidding have. But she hasn’t. Chris tells her it’s incredibly hard to watch. Lucy doesn’t care and tells him she needs to see it. My girl I just wanna hug her. Also I’m so damn proud of her for standing up for what she wants.

Chris having no leg to stand on agrees to show it to her. He has the gall to ask if he should stay? Obviously not you friggin stunad…Got me so angry I’m calling him an idiot in Italian. He really doesn’t get it. It’s ridiculous. After how she reacted earlier. How she's been this entire time you’d think she was going to say yes? The last thing she needs is your stupid ass there. She thanks him for the video. He doesn’t deserve that,

All he deserves is a swift kick to the nads. So he doesn't reproduce little clueless offspring….Whoever set up these shots did a good job btw. They are so well done. She’s psyching herself up to press play. The shot of her with her ring. We see it visible on her hand. The ring that saved her life. The ring Tim found and held onto until she was ready to have it back. Trying to ground herself before watching this. The way her hand shakes before she hits play gets me all in the feels.

Melissa continues to crush this scene. Watching her watch that video makes me wanna cry. It’s so hard to watch her witness the worst moment of her life. Once again another beautiful shot of Melissa above. The way she closes her eyes as she listens to herself sing, the way she touches her lips in an anxious manner, the ring close to her as she continues to listen. Having the object that saved her close to her as she watches. Like a safety blanket as she takes in the video.

You can see her whole body trembling as she tries to get through it. Hurts my damn heart to watch unfold. Serious props to Melissa for conveying so damn much in this short scene. Lucy trying to prove to herself she is strong by watching this. By going through with this whole thing at all. Trying to push down all the emotions eating away at her. Last ep all I did was laugh. This one all it does is hurt my heart. Hurt for her. It's so good though.

We return to the hospital. They’re wheeling Jonah’s wife back. Tim is super stern with him and I’m here for it. You tell him babe. Directs him not to mess with the surgeons or how they do their job. Is that understood? Jonah goes on to say how he never would since it’s saving his wife. The saddest part is next. The father of the daughter they’re stealing heart from comes after them.

Trying to kill his wife because if he does his daughter will live. The love a parent has for their kid is immense. How it it should be really. Sadly he gets arrested and Jonah continues on like it's nothing. Like he isn't destroying lives with this decision of his. They have to continue their march towards the OR despite this. Because Jonah still holds all the cards right now.

This next part gets me right in the feels. Nolan is able to get his wife to listen to the daughter. Her speech gets me teary every time. What a strong and amazing young woman to say what does. Did what Nolan couldn't do in the first place. Build rapport and get her to break. To change her mind on this whole thing. I think it's the fact that she forgives this woman that gets her to break. To let her know she forgives her even thoush she's taking away her second chance. This episode is all kinds of emotional in the best way.

His wife withdraws consent after that. Says she can’t do this anymore. Just like that it's over. Or so we we think. Jonah tries to turn off the ransomware but can’t. His partners have locked him out and want a ransom to unlock it. One the hospital cannot afford. Tim and John are escorting Jonah out now. He’s going on about needing to be there for his wife. Tim tells him he gets nothing since he let someone die. He’s going to prison for a murder charge.

John steps in and says if he can tell them who he’s working with they can help. It's possible Jonah can get bail so he can spend what time she has left with him. He lets them know who he was hired by. That it was their idea to hack the hospital. Saying they’d pay him to build the ransomware. He was an easy target due to his medical debt. He’s slowly figuring out they were just a means to an end. Tells them the IT dept. can track messages they sent him.

Cue to sexy OP Tim mmm. Tactical Tim is one of my favs. Also nice shots of his ass and I’m not complaining LOL The house is empty once they clear it. They're worried they've already left or haven't been here for awhile. Tim noting it has to be here. No way they could run that kind of software on a laptop. They decide check outdoors and Nolan see's transformer with a cable running from it.

Tim follows Nolan as he sees a massive cable running along the grass. They trace it to a container on the property. This is where the hackers are set up. Nolan tells one of them they can have a deal the other gets way more jail time. Just depends on who answers him first. One of the hackers easily gives up their partner in a flash. Tim's ‘Good answer’ cracks me up LOL I love him.

Lucy is in an emotional coma when Tamara and Chris check in on her. Really it's Tamara that says they should. Chris has no drive to check on her himself. He tried knocking once and gave up. Tamara is the one to push it and make them enter the room. She doesn't have time for Chris to grow some balls to check on her. Dipshit I mean Chris asks her if she watched it? Not a single brain cell in that head is there? How did you make it through law school sir? Seriously? Of course she watched it you idiot. I love Lucy for not testifying. This was so big for her to step away from. It was not an easy decision for her to make. Once again being the strong role model for Tamara.

I'm so proud of her for being courageous enough to watch that video. I get why she did. Everyone else had access to it. Seen it. I think it was part of her decision to move on. Her processing things was her realizing she had nothing to prove. Damn right you don’t. Screw Rosalind, screw Chris and this whole thing. Her saying she survived that felt like a call back to 2x12. Where Tim helped her see it wasn’t a failure but proof of what a survivor she is. His words sticking with her in this moment. I love it.

Tamara coming over and hugging her is the best part. She is so proud of Lucy for making this call. It was her's to make and a place she needed to get to on her own. If it had been up to Tamara she never would've gone through this at all. I love her telling her she is going to make dinner. They really are a make-shift family and it's so lovely to see. I just love them so much. How she instantly wants to take care of Lucy. Makes my heart happy in an ep where all I wanted to do was murder Chris.

How their relationship survived this episode I couldn’t tell you. His ass deserved to be dumped so very hard. Like a cat with nine lives. He keeps on ticking. When all he deserved was to be shut out of her life for good. Also of course Chris doesn’t cook... Chalk another one up for the clown. I seriously have zero idea what she sees in him. Other than just being lonely and wanting companionship. So ends this episode. I wanna say I’m sorry for all my Chris rage but I’m really not LOL

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

James and Nyla be cute. I love them. That be it.

[eldritch-spouse]

GIMMIE THE ANGST IT FEELS TO WARM AND FUZZY AROUND HERE

 (I -I really like like your characters Pinnie)

When Adrul takes full control of Perdition that means most, if not all, of the Ring’s inhabitants respect and fear him. As his partner nobody would dare to harm us -we’re mostly safe, but not completely. 

There has to be some radical group somewhere that believes a half human demigod doesn’t deserve to rule. 

So what would happen if, on a day Adrul had some important business with his parents at the clergy, his beloved was attacked and succumbed to her wounds before Adrul could return? Despite all the protection placed around them and the highest medical care, they still died. Adrul wasn’t quick enough. He wasn’t prepared. He miscalculated. He wasn’t as in control as he thought he was -and that cost him his heart.

What are Belo, Admin, Miara, and Krulu’s thoughts about this?

What does Adelo think of him now that he’s finally failed at something?

How much of Krulu’s callous apathy did Adrul inherit?

[Hellow and thenk you!- I'll humor the scenario, but know that it is out of character, Adrul is far too cautious to leave you, supervised or not, in any part of Hell while he's in the surface.]

TW: Death; Gore; Torture; Suicidal ideation.

For as much as his Lord-Father wishes he take command of Hell, sometimes Adrul has to agree with his celestial father. Demons are the scum of this planet. They're the lowest of the low, the most disgusting lifeforms to ever enter the planes of existence. Made out of spite, made to spite-

Belo had always been right. Perdition doesn't need to be ruled over, it needs to be decimated. Torn asunder, rent to a crisp. And its verminous inhabitants should be hunted down to the very last curly-tailed imp...

But alas, orders are orders, and Adrul's fate had been spun long before his mother birthed him. So Hell still stands, mocking the universe.

Sometimes, now more than ever, Adrul feels that he's a clown. A fool made to lord himself over degenerates. It's a sinking feeling that curls in his gut like poison, and now, he has no means of escaping it.

See, demons, in their endlessly abundant mental stunting, fail to grasp that Adrul is not some half-human nitwit. He's less than a tenth human, if he had to guess... Father weaved his power into both his and Adelo's development during pregnancy, there is absolutely no way he would have allowed a half-lesser child. They both know this, and truthfully, are also grateful for such.

But again, demons are just brainless. They're hardly even people, in Adrul's eyes. So it's no wonder they can't put two and two together, it's no shock groups of overconfident scumfucks gather to plot against the King of Perdition on a daily basis.

Adrul simply... Underestimated them.

It's something harrowingly painful to admit.

Because it implies he's getting out of touch, he's lowering his guard too much, getting tired maybe. It means he's succumbing to something, that his thought process is deteriorating, that he's not as competent as his parents trained him to be, that he's a let-down, useless- He makes mistakes because he is a mistake, they're all extensions of him.

And his biggest mistake, was letting his heart die.

Carelessly tossing you to a brutal end, the details of which gruesome enough that Adrul can't bare to recall lest he fly into another soul-shattering meltdown. His most selfish action, marking the day he lost everything.

Adrul's reaction to your death was stone cold.

He's never been good with displaying emotion. Never been very facially expressive, strayed from hysteric tones, hardly laughed and hardly cried. Though, in that moment, he felt that he didn't react because he simply couldn't. Reacting would have killed him. It would have broken his mind beyond saving.

The servants didn't know what to do, rushing back and forth, too afraid to direct any words at him, everyone hovering around the scene of the crime, trying not to touch what's left of your body or the mess that spattered the rest of the area.

Adrul collected your butchered remains silently, slowly following the trail of blood leading to other divisions, indicating you had put up a valiant fight. The constant dripping off your torn body echoed through the walls, reminding him that it was over. That you were gone, that he would never get to hold you again, or hear your voice, feel your touch. He would never love again. He would never want again, he would never live again.

Hell burns. But Adrul is cold.

You were handed over to people he knew could never betray him, ordering them to fix your form as perfectly as they could- Because their lives depended on it. And while that happened, the prince crowned King went hunting for the animals that did this, the insects who couldn't even fathom the horrors they'd face.

It wasn't hard. Adrul knows how to manipulate crowds. Turn them against each other. All he had to do was identify the culprits, offer compensation, and allow the entirety of demonkind to turn against each other, a slaughter the likes of which not even Kalymir could dream of. The Icons themselves are involved in this search, which means whatever rebellious sect initiated this had less than days to get their shit kicked in.

Most of them were brought to him captured, alive. Others dragged in dead. Some stragglers who made it to the surface in hopes of escaping were severely wounded but there nonetheless. Adrul kept the leaders to himself.

And then, he loaded the rest into a transportation device, preparing to visit the surface, and bring the news to his family...

Adrul hadn't shed a tear yet.

Admin was devastated. She could not imagine a fate more disturbing for the human Adrul favored, for the one her, Belo and Krulu approved of. A lesser truly worthy of uniting with her son... She was the first to offer Adrul solace and comfort, and the first to see him react minimally, face twitching erratically, silent tears flowing down his face. She understood Adrul is just like his Father, that he doesn't show what he's really feeling most of the time, that she shouldn't expect him to bear his heart to her in this time- But she wouldn't be a good mom if she didn't make it very clear that Adrul needs to process things and mourn you properly. Easier said than done. She couldn't imagine the grief it would cause if either one of her partners died, if she died.

Adelo, for once, took something seriously. Adrul had spared him a venomous look upon first sight, as if expecting the angel hybrid to crack a tasteless joke, and it genuinely wounded him to know his brother thought that little of Adelo. He's always been bad with wording things, so the older brother merely offered his condolences and volunteered any sort of necessary help. He could tell Adrul was dead inside the moment he glanced upon his brother, having learned to read the monster quite well. It was hard to witness, and he figured he ought to keep his distance for a while.

Belo was equally stunned. That's always been the problem with lessers, hasn't it? They're endlessly fragile, they need constant surveillance, constant protection- A herculean task. Like Admin, he cried for his son, he joined in her comforting efforts, using his properties as a celestial to offer calm, and did his best to guide poor Adrul into calm mindsets. Belo knows what it's like to want to drown one's sorrow in work, productivity is oftentimes a coping mechanism, so he urged his son to work and help around as he visited, keeping him safe from his thoughts, gentle silence shared.

Krulu's gaze is hard. Adrul did fail, he said to his own son's face. That was failure, there's no escaping it. And before Adrul's soul could shatter deeper, the siadar proclaimed that Adrul didn't have the luxury of following you. Adrul is bigger than you and he serves a purpose that precedes your involvement in his life. You were a marvelous lesser, and he recognizes his son loved you more than anything- For his eyes blazed with the same intensity around you as his do towards Admin. Although it may have felt that way, Krulu reminds his inwardly grieving, breaking son that not all was lost. That he couldn't let himself fail further.

Miara deflated like a balloon at the news. She was looking forward to seeing you and him become a big, happy family. Adrul was hastily invited into her main lands, and after some bickering with both Krulu and Belo, Miara convinced the stubborn bulls that their son needed rest, distraction, care. Not pain, not being around people who remind him of his responsibilities. Adrul needed healing of the highest degree, he seemed to attract misery and those who covet it like moths to a flame. To see wraiths hover around his vicinity like vultures was infuriating and extremely disappointing. She had wisdom to impart on the demi-siadar, and more than enough nurture to spare, as well as guidance for Admin in how to care for her wounded son.

The rebellious demons who had been transported to the surface were handed to none other than his Lord-Father.

Adrul knew that, no matter how creative he got, Krulu would always be able to unleash torture the likes of which he can't even conceive of. Seeing the mind-shattering terror on the demons' faces as they got swept into the bowels of The Clergy's Eye, taken into the depths of it by his Father, it was something truly marvelous.

Krulu used these demons for just about everything, spending most of his free time delighting in their meticulous torture. For once, his chosen and his dove were invited to see the process, to aid in it. Not Adrul, Adrul was still too shattered to glimpse into those instances and Krulu knew that. Although, his son does get a couple of "finished pieces" sent back to his residence in Perdition, with a message from the higher suggesting that he should display them where all could see. Beautiful omens born out of pointless lives. Adrul did like them, enough to show them to the mangled leaders of the resistance.

They don't get to die, naturally.

After all, Adrul didn't get to die either. To this day, he's not afforded that luxury. He has to drag himself onwards with his many legs, pretending to feel any sort of drive for anything, pretending he doesn't just want to loiter around the garden the two of you made, now a burial ground of unimaginable beauty, and curl up next to your headstone for the rest of time.

Adrul was merciless and blind to morals when he hunted down the families of those leading demons. He forced them to stay by his side, bound and gagged and screaming, because they knew exactly what was going to happen when the King ordered his most loyal warriors to bludgeon and massacre and do anything they wanted to those innocent lives. Wives, parents, sons and daughters- Adrul smiled, grinned, it was the first time he laughed ever since you were taken from him.

The demi-siadar almost wished he was a wraith, just so he could savor the pain his prisoners felt as they froze, or erupted into hysterical babbling, screaming at the top of their lungs until their throats tore.

Adelo and Adrul are sons of Protector Saudramar, of Plaguemaster, of Lord-Master Krulu.

Sure, they may also be born of Admin and Belo, elements that keep them minimally grounded, bearable. Still, it would be foolish to assume they couldn't choose their Father's path when poked just right.

The King of Hell became something uncontrollably evil.

Adrul is now consumed by a rage not too distant from that of Krulu's. Having his most important element in life mauled to an untimely end, then forced to rule over the cretins that did it, forced to think in their best interests and keep them safe, keep the comfortable.

As if they fucking deserve the bare minimum consideration.

He can't take it.

He can't fucking take it anymore.

That's why Adrul seizes any opportunity he has to slaughter hundreds for the smallest of misdeeds. A trail of bodies follows Adrul wherever he ventures in his own domain, the streets cleared for him. If he could, he'd wipe out the entire population of all rings. Even if he knows it wouldn't fix him. It would be just.

It would be fair.

Sometimes, he comes back home showered in blood, letting droplets taint the flowers of your garden as he lays on the ground and speaks to you.

Begs you to take him with you.

To forgive him.

He failed you. He failed the person who was there for him through thick and thin, through his anxieties of wanting to live up to his role and getting caught up in tornados of endless conflict. He conquered Hell for you, in the end, because of you.

And now... It means nothing to him. Everything Adrul spent his youth training for, attaining, means absolutely fucking nothing to him.

He just wishes he could die, anything would be better than this joke of an existence.

And maybe, it's that desire to shed his husk and his life, that brings Dorem to Hell.

Granted, the ruler of Limbo isn't there for small talk or a pat on the back. No words are spoken between Adrul and the soulkeeper when Dorem produces an intricate container of what appears to be (but definitely isn't) glass. Inside it dances an extremely bright light, molding into all shapes and states as if agitated.

Then, once passed onto his dark hands, it calms immediately. The entity flattens against the glass, drawn to him, emitting a comforting warmth he could never mistake.

Dorem fades with the shadows.

It's you.

It's the essence of you.

Adrul sobs so hard he chokes on his own screams.

[beanieman]

Assigning You A Liminal Space Based On Your Favorite YTTD Character

Sara Chidouin - A classroom where words appear on the chalkboard every half hour. Sometimes they tell of false hints and other times they ask why you came here. There's a knife in the middle desk.

Joe Tazuna - An endless metal tunnel where you can see light at the end. It always glows a different color and you feel like you're getting farther away the longer you walk. You can hear a dog barking beyond the "exit."

Gin Ibushi - An animal shelter that smells like wet dog. In the upper left corner there's a pile of stuffed animal that you can use as a bed. Sometimes they come to life.

Keiji Shinogi - An airport that feels just slightly too humid. Out of the corner of your eye you can see visions of the dead. It's always 3AM.

Alice Yabusame - The hallway of your childhood that's filled with family photos and the smell of something you can't quite place but fills you with nostalgia. No matter how far you walk the path things stay the same.

More Undercut

Reko Yabusame - A mall where a new store opens every hour. It's never similar to one that you've seen before. It looks like light is streaming from somewhere, but you can't see any windows or doors. The bitter smell lingers in the air.

Nao Egokoro - A train where little snacks and drinks are sat upon the table. You aren't sure where you're going, but it seems like you have a destination. It's a little too cold but there's a blanket under one of the seats.

Kazumi Mishima - The room is totally empty expect for chalk on the floor. The walls are chalkboards so you can draw or write your thoughts. Too bad you can't do anything else.

Q-taro Burgerberg - An empty stadium that's closed off from overhead. You hear cheers and boos from an audience you not see as if you're the only one invisible. There's a popcorn and slushy maker at the top bleacher.

Kai Satou - A grocery store that smells oddly like plastic and seems to restock itself. You haven't seen any employees, but you feel like they're in the vicinity.

Kanna Kizuchi - An endless hallway where flowers grow up to your knees. Sometimes it feels like they're wrapping around your ankles and trying to drag you down, but you can pull them off with enough might. Some flowers smell like pudding, and the others smell like metal.

Shin Tsukimi - A convivence store filled with neon lights where the air is thick and it feels hard to breath. Exits sometimes appear only to disappear right before you reach them.

Dolls

Ranmaru Kageyama - A doorway with a black void at both sides. No matter which way you go or how far you run you'll always end up back in the same place.

Naomichi Kurumada - An indoor pool where the smell of chlorine hits your nose and makes you dizzy. There's floats for you to lounge on if you get tired, along with dive rings if you're up for a challenge. Just don't go too far down or you might think you've found an exit and won your escape...

Anzu Kinashi - A circus tent that's one big circle. Music played by horns and trumpets ring in your ears and you can vaguely taste the flavor of cotton candy. A clown is watching you but you'll never know as he always disappears before you turn around.

Mai Tsurugi - A bakery that only has one small lamp by the counter. There's a tip jar that shows you an exit if you put in enough coins, but it vanishes just as fast as it appeared. This is a metaphor for capitalism.

Shunsuke Hayasaka - A library that makes you forget your name and where you came from. You aren't sure which books you've read and which you've forgotten. There's a papercut on your finger. You aren't sure how you got it.

Hinako Mishuku - The place is indistinguishable. You don't know where you are or how you got here. It's dark and none of your scents work properly. All you can wonder is if you're actually dead. You know it's some kind of room because every once in awhile you run into a wall. You didn't know you were in a room.

[stars-n-spice]

I have a lot of thoughts regarding the first three episodes that are bouncing around my brain and I'm going to try and wrangle them up here in this post-

They will probably not be coherent or in order of the episodes or what happened but they're thoughts-

Spoilers for TBB S3 under the cut!

Hemlock is such a dickwad, holy shit. What a great antagonist, kriffing hell. When he made threats to hurt Crosshair in response to Omega's disobedience?? FUCK.

Crosshair and Omega my beloveds,, they have my hearts, I love them so much

Crosshair's shaky hands. I can see the floodgates of all the angsty art and fics that are going to come out of that. IT AFFECTING HIS AIM??? Gods above- If we get a scene of someone holding his hands while they're shaking I'm going to lose it

I'm a fucking clown for thinking we'd get Crosshair's reaction to the news of Tech's death. Absolutely CLOWN. Like they didn't give us Echo's reaction to Fives, of course they wouldn't give us Crosshair's to Tech's

Speaking of Tech,,, I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that special trooper in all black is totally him,, right?? The scrawny ass legs?? The goggles on the helmet?? Fuck,, I even think I saw the guy limp away.. It HAS to be him

THEY HAVE A DOG NOW!!! That's so sweet :(

You guys do not understand the immediate reaction I had to seeing Omega older with the new hairstyle (which I love). Fucking burst out into tears at the sight

Nala Se is so dead. So dead. I've never seen a more deader alive character than Nala Se.

Also my hopes for Emerie helping them or turning out good or something went down the drain :(

OMEGA IS FORCE SENSITIVE??? like,, that's what they're implying right??? They wanna have DNA or whatever to make Palp clones yeah??? Is that were this is going??? FUCK.

On that note, if she IS force sensitive I really really really wanna see Asajj helping her out with that because I think that would be fucking NEAT

Omega making a Lula doll out of straw took me out :( I was holding my own Lula plushie and crying

Crosshair is such a little shit. I love how he was trying to dissuade Omega from escaping with him by saying shit like, "If I got the chance, I'd leave you behind" and the moment that Omega's like, "I've got a plan" he's like "What do I do?"

Them hijacking a whole squad's ship was fucking hilarious though, get fucked

"Tech had me memorize all the plans." - "Of course he did." <- bawling my eyes out.

SO DOES THIS MEAN WE HAVE TO WATCH OMEGA GET CAPTURED AGAIN?!?!

OK ONTO THE ADVENTURES OF HUNTER AND WRECKER

ECHO ALREADY FUCKING LEFT??? <- i knew we wouldn't get like,, a conversation or a reason,, it would just be he left off screen and we've got to deal with that

Echo my love come back :(

On another note,, Wrecker and Hunter's beat up armor is such a good look but also ouch because it shows all the shit they've been through since the last season

Y'all don't understand how great it is to see my man again (Wrecker ily so much)

SPEAKING OF MY MAN!! The little,, fucking touches of reassurance he kept giving Hunter?? How he was being a voice of reason?? making sure Hunter didn't do anything reckless?? :((

I know that man is tired and he's trying so hard to hold the last remaining bits of their squad together and it hurts so bad but I love him so much for it

Clone Cadets :(( they don't really look like clones though :/ but to be expected ig....

THEY'RE GONNA TAKE THEM TO PABU :((((

the lula and tech's goggle shots took me out

Hunter fumbling around with Tech's datapad :(((

Wrecker carrying Gonky upside down with the harness was fucking amazing, oh my god

"Defective AND effective" DAMN RIGHT YOU TELL HIM 여보!!!

'slither vines' fucking ass name

makes you wonder what else hemlock is cookin up

Wrecker laughing and talking with the clone cadets :(

GONKY TO THE RESCUE

Either next episode we're going to get Hunter & Wrecker back on Pabu or continuation of Omega and Crosshair crashing their ship somewhere and Omega potentially being captured again and Crosshair eventually being reunited with Hunter & Wrecker (pretty please)

Anyways,, thankfully the episodes weren't as devastating as I thought they would be but I know it's only going to get worse from here before it (hopefully) gets better.

[ashipiko]

hi SO UM. IM KINDA OBSESSED WITH DECO*27 AS OF LATE AND LIAR DANCE…. HAS ME IN ITS GRASP…. FUNNY THING IS. IT WORKS REALLY WELL WITH ASHI’S OB!!! SO YEAH. here’s a whole post dedicated to her OB

(dunno if this group exists but if anyone is like?? interested in Ashi lore/deep ashace lore I hope you enjoy 🫶🫶 they’re v deep i prom)

INCLUDES: art (you can see it!!!) and a long ashace lyric breakdown to liar dance 🫶

HIGHLY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO RACHIE’S COVER OF THIS SONG WHILE READING! IT HELPS A LOT ESPEC IN THE END OF THIS BREAKDOWN

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

(“it” refers to a show, like “steal the show”. This is all from Ace’s point of view so he refuses to agree— He doesn’t like and doesn’t understand Ashi’s habit of putting up a front, hence why he dismisses it.)

My darling

You cross your heart and then you hope to

Die

So keep on lying to my face and see if I

Comply

(Ace going “OK BET keep slowly killing yourself and see if I stop trying to save you”. Spoiler, he doesn’t.)

"I stole it?

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You speak clichés and reap the praise of all the fools in doubt

My darling

Why can't you see that there's no fooling

Me?

Our love is much more of a mess than even you could be

(Again, same thing with the “steal the show” bit. Ace refers to everyone who falls for her front as a fool, and he insists that no matter what, he can’t be fooled. He’ll forever see Ashi for who she really is. Ace tries to convince her that all of the mess that they’re causing right now is way more of a mess than what she is.)

Blah, blah, blah, blah, do me a favor and

Shut up for now

You think you sound clever, but 'cause I

Know better, you sound just too loud

Try to escape and you'll see that you don't

Have a place left to hide

So speak of the devil, but know that you're

Summoning me to your side

(Ace wants her to shut up so that she can stop and be saved. He thinks that he’s the one with the superior mindset in this situation, and that Ashi should listen to what he’s saying, which is that no one will run away from her for who she really is.)

1,2... 1,2,3

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Ace refers to Ashi as a liar— It’s what she sees herself as, and what Ace sees her as (a person lying to people with her front in order to please them), but Ace just believes that it’s a faulty way of living. Only you, only me, bit refers to their relationship and special connection. It can also be seen as an attempt to comfort Ashi as well, since she’s the most comfortable with Ace. Ace promises that he’ll forever stay by Ashi’s side, no matter what.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

And then we’ll meet our end

(I interpret this line in a way that Ace persists and continues to go “I’m gonna keep knocking down your walls, no matter what” and he hopes to finally get to Ashi’s head. He does BTW! Eventually. In the future.)

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking 'bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

It's hidden

It’s tucked away somewhere that's safe and

Sound

I hear you loud and clear, so baby, there's no

Need to shout

(Ace once again references this charade and front which Ashi uses, but the thing that’s hidden and tucked away is her true nature. There’s no hiding that from him— It’s no use to attempt to hide it.)

"You got me!

No wait, I've got no clue, what could you

Mean?

Caught you again today, again you slip away

From me

You're sinking

Digging your grave deeper and deeper down

For all your talk, I see you're nothing but a

Helpless clown

(Refers to Ashi’s slow descent into overblot! She slipped between Ace’s fingers and became distant, only to emerge as her jester, clown faced, blot. Ashi’s slow, lonely descent into madness is greatly shown through the grave line.)

Everyone and my own mother is starting to

Make fun of you

'Cause nothing about all the lies that you tell

Yourself seem to sound true

But in the end, you're the beautiful liar who's

Stolen my heart

You're just the devil, but I'm on your level

So drag me down now

(The first bit references the fact that after this is all over, everyone will know Ashi’s secret (which Ace finds a bit stupid) and that by the end of it, Ace believes that no one will really care. Everyone will accept her, and nothing will change, and that all of her doubts aren’t true. In the end, Ashi’s the one that stole Ace’s heart, and he’s willing to go through so much to save her.)

1,2... 1, 2,3

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace trying to convince Ashi that she’s not anything special— People will be empathetic towards her. He’s here with her too. The love is wrong line references the fact that Ashi thinks Ace is wrong for loving her true self.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

No, it's far too late

(Ace trying to catch Ashi’s attention and get through her blotted state. It’s too late to turn back now.)

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Let’s change gears for these repeated lines. I’ll paint a picture for you. The way that Ashi’s overblot works is that she carries a marionette doll. The doll represents her front that she puts up, and how “that Ashi” would react to this situation. And so, through the entire fight it holds a concerned and scared expression. Ace notices this, and the scene changes.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

Veins

(He figures it out, and everything clicks. Overblotted Ashi represents her true feelings— What she wants people to love, but everyone turns for the puppet version of her. If he’s going to save her, he has to be the most straightforward he can to get through to her blotted mind.)

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace uses all of his strength that he can muster after going at this fight for a while. to jump around Ashi as she proceeds to attack everyone around her. He moves swiftly, almost in a dancing motion— He needs to destroy the marionette. Destroying it proves the point; that he doesn’t need all of this fake stuff. He needs the real Ashi, and he’ll care for her.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

(Ace finally catches Ashi’s attention and is able to talk to her. Once again, he tries to get through her head. All of the memories and journeys they’ve been through will never fade away, and all the things that Ashi believes people will hate are things that Ace will love.)

No, it's far too late

All the things that I should hate

But the moon is in the sky

So guess

This is goodbye

(Ace is able to pry the doll from Ashi’s grasp as he gets her distracted. The goodbye is the final hit, as Ace smashes her marionette to pieces, and from there, her overblot is finished.)

NOTE: I used Rachie’s lyrics, but I know for a FACT there is a line that says “turn me inside out and I look just like you”. This line is really important too (so I’m sad it’s not included here), but I think it’s a really good one because Ace and Ashi are really similar when it comes down to it. Ashi’s so scared of showing it, but in the end Ace is there, to be by her side and be the absolute worst with her.

[andaniellight]

The Punisher, Deadpool, and The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen team-up ended up pretty ok. 

ID: Three panels of comic-version Matt Murdock and Frank Castle interacting after a team up with Deadpool. Matt’s face is dirty from the bridge of his nose to his chin because he’s wearing his usual cowl/mask on the mission, in his full Daredevil red suit. On the first panel, after he takes off his cowl Matt is saying, “Aw, what’s wrong? Can’t keep up, old man? I’ll make sure to slow down after this.” He’s smiling, feigning innocence like a menace he is. On the second panel, Frank Castle in his full Punisher gear, face entirely blackened and some of his hair burned because there must be an explosion somewhere that he and his team-mates had to escape from, is deadpanning and annoyed at Matt because he’s actually staying behind for a bit just to kick Deadpool’s ass because Deadpool wouldn’t stop singing: “Matt Murdock is too damn pretty pass him arou--I mean, pass it on.” On the third panel, Matt gets his right cheek pinched quite hard by Frank’s hand (Frank is off-frame), chiding Matt with, “Shut the fuck up, toasted-looking Santa Clown,” because Matt does look like he has full burned-beard covering his lower face. Matt can only protest with “ow, ow, ow”. End of ID.

[dramatic-squirrel]

Daminette December Day 14- Bind/Toxic

@maribat-calendar-events

It was a strange experience for Marinette, walking around in disguise. Usually when she wore a disguise she swung between buildings and beat up villains. But nowadays, she found herself in the awkward and invasive view of the public eye. Dating a Wayne tended to do that to a person, especially while living in Gotham and especially when that Wayne was Damian. It was kind of embarrassing how often Damian appeared in the news, sometimes it was good news– an appearance at a gala, working out a shelter— usually it was bad. Like setting all of the animals at the circus free, or any outing with the rest of his family.

All of which meant that the press talked about him, and subsequently that meant they talked about who he was dating, aka Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Usually, it wasn’t so bad, most people mind their own business in Gotham, but occasionally she’d been photographed by the occasional tabloid, which led to her habit of wearing hats and sunglasses in public.

That’s what she was wearing when someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her into an alley. She reacted quickly. Dropping slightly, she slid one foot behind the kidnapper, grabbed his legs and pulled up, using the side of her hip as a pivot to drop him to the ground. 

“She’s got strength for the tiny bug that she is. Hahahah! I crack myself up.” A bit further down the alleyway, the last person anyone wanted to encounter in Gotham appeared. The iconic purple suit, green hair and white face.

“Putain de merde!” Before Marinette could even try to run, a figure blocked the entrance to the alleyway. It didn’t stop her though, as she rushed towards the henchman and threw a punch to the face. The guy went to block it, obscuring his line of sight, so she kneed him in the abdomen causing the man to bend over in pain. Taking advantage, she sidestepped, elbowed him in the back and attempted to escape. It still wasn’t enough though, as there were too many henchmen with the joker and before Marinette could escape, she was grabbed from behind again, this time a needle was stuck in her neck. Soon, her strength abandoned, her vision blurred and then darkness greeted her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Light burned Marinette’s eyes as she woke up, causing her to squint and causing a headache that pounded her skull with reckless abandon. She really needed to get black out curtains for her room. But something didn’t feel right, there was a weird crimp in her neck, and for some reason, her shoulders were unusually stiff. She tried to move and when she couldn’t, she panicked. Jerking, her last memories came back to her and she struggled even more. All that she discovered was that her hands were tightly bound behind her and that she was alone in the room. 

At least, Marinette was alone in the room until a door opened somewhere behind the blinding light, accompanied by maniacal laughter. “Glad to see sleeping beauty awake! Are you ready for your close up, princess?”

“Salopard! Why did you kidnap me?” If it was anyone else, they would have been terrified but Marinette was past caring and wanted to get the pleasantries of kidnapping out of the way.

“Ah, looks like we’re getting right to it. I just wanted to give a big Gotham welcome to our newest visitor and eventual Wayne– got to let you know what you're in for.” He stepped into view, just to the side of the light. “And since you’ve become such a big celebrity I figured it would be best to let your adoring public see the sunshine princess’ big day.”

“Do not call me ‘princess’ you tête de nœud.” Marinette glowered. “Only one person has the right to call me that.”

“You’re boyfriend?” He laughed again. “I don’t really care, princess.” Marinette just shook her head at his stupidity. She wasn’t going to concern herself when Joker got a late night visit from Chat Noir. She bet even the “clown prince” would run away from the black cat’s puns.

“Let’s get started! Lights! Camera!” Joker looked around the room at things Marinette couldn’t make out. “Action!” He walked over to her side and Marinette cringed away in disgust. “Hello Gothamites! Allow me to introduce my special guest here with me today. The one, the only, sunshine of Gotham and the Ice Prince’s girlfriend, Marinette!” He placed a hand on her shoulder and actively fought to push down her anger. “Why don’t you greet the public, Marinette?”

She didn’t bother responding, knowing that the only thing that would come out was a string of swear words. “Oh well, looks like she’s a bit shy. Let’s get on with the show!” Joker pulled out a needle and syringe. “Don’t worry, it only hurts-” the sound of glass shattering cut him off, he sighed. “Well, well, Batsy and the bird, I didn’t invite you here.”

“Let the girl go, Joker.”

“Sure, sure. Just one thing.” And without pause, he plunged the needle into Marinette’s arm. “There we go.” The effects were immediate, as laughter took over Marinette, a big grin overcoming her face. “Much better.”

“Joker!” Robin charged toward the rogue but pulled up short when the clown held a knife up to Marinette.

"Relax," Joker's maniacal laughter echoing in their ears. "I used the non-lethal version just for her. After all, the tourists'll stop coming if we keep killing them." He used the knife to cut away Marinette’s bonds. “Although you might want to get her to a hospital soon before her face sticks that way.” He put the knife against her throat, close enough that he could do some serious damage quickly, far away enough that her perpetual laughter didn’t bite into the blade. “Now, I’ll walk out of here, then you can take the girl.”

They started backing out of the room, Batman and Robin were watching and waiting. When they were a few feet from the door, Marinette took a chance. Grabbing the knife with her left hand, she pulled it away from herself, cutting her palm. Then twisting around to face Joker, she grabbed his wrist with her right hand. Letting go of the knife, she pulled the Joker’s arm forward and, with her free left hand, she rammed it into his elbow, breaking it. 

The forced laughter almost made her screw up the next part but she did her best to pull herself together as she hooked her right foot behind his left and yanked it, hurling him to the ground. Batman and Robin wasted no time, running up to the two of them. Batman subdued Joker while Robin checked in on her.

“Are you ok, miss?” Robin grabbed her hand. Still laughing, Marinette nodded. She wasn’t ok, per se, but she was alive and away from the fashion freak known as Joker, so that counted for something. “We’ll get you to a hospital soon. Just follow me to an ambulance.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hours later, Marinette was given an antidote for the Joker venom, had her hand stitched together and had already given her report to the police. The first person she saw after that was Damian who quickly entered her hospital room. “How are you? Are you ok? Did they give you an antidote? Treat your wound? Did they harass you too much?” The questions flowed out one after the other.

Marinette held up her uninjured hand to stop him. “I’m going to need you to slow down a bit Damian.”

He looked away, the slightest bit of contrite adorning his face. “Pardon my abruptness.” 

Marinette accepted his apology. “To answer your questions…. Yes, yes, yes… they stitched my hand, and no not really. The hospital is keeping me overnight to monitor any side-effects.” He nodded his head in approval, before an air of reluctance passed over him

“...I suppose this incident means that you…” he paused, not wanting to continue. After taking a moment to gather his courage he finished his thought. “...I suppose you would like to break up now.”

“No!” Her shout startled both of them. “I mean, yeah it was terrifying, but I’m not going to run away just because of this.”

“You could have died, Angel.”

“Ah, but I didn’t. And I have lady luck on my side Damian. Even if I have to face every Gotham rogue just because I’m dating you, I’m staying.” He was conflicted, happy that she still wanted to date him, concerned that he was putting her in danger. 

He came up with a solution, “I’ll train you in combat then.” 

A small laugh escaped Marinette, and a smile that warmed his heart graced her face. “I’ll take you up on the offer, but I’m not as helpless as you think.”

He gave her a satisfied smirk. “I know. I saw the video of you taking down the Joker. I’d expect nothing less from the woman I fell in love with.” His expression went blank at that, meanwhile Marinette blushed at hearing him say I love you for the first time.

“I love you too, Damian” He looked away, hiding his face with one hand. 

“Never speak of this to anyone.”

Marinette looked at the entrance to the room where Dick, Jason, Stephanie, Alya and Adrien were standing. “I think it’s too late for that.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quick note, if this story feels familiar then it’s because I was inspired by both this fanfic https://archiveofourown.org/works/22843114 and this tumblr post https://www.tumblr.com/stareyedmoonchild/188615603032/mid-day-thoughts 

[bloodgulchblog]

Right? The whole thing was that the UNSC’s stance was that, ‘if you won’t do it, someone else will.’ She had a gun to her head and the certainty that it was just going to happen anyways.

Halsey’s no saint. But the IV’s that look down on her and the navy higher-ups seem to conveniently forget that she had to get her resources from somewhere. The same place they do. That must be incredibly galling for her to know and not be able to communicate in any way that they care about.

Like, almost everything Halsey ever did was done with the explicit knowledge, approval, and material support of someone else. The crimes she committed would not have been possible otherwise. Every order she gave, every test she conducted and every small body she mangled had someone else’s signature on it- the same people signing off on the modern-day supermen.

YES

(This turned into me writing dramatically and clowning for a while i hope u don't mind)

They recruited a teenager (albeit a very smart teenager) to solve a big scary oncoming war against the scary insurrectionists that they'd been pumping out scary propaganda against for decades.

Her solution was fucking wild, and they went with it because now they had a scapegoat in hand.

As she got older, as they began to build the monster she designed, she began to regret. She began to hate herself for it, and she couldn't escape.

And when it stopped being convenient for them to cover it up, they fucking devoured her and blamed her for all of it.

Margaret Parangosky herself came down from on high and performed outrage for actions she sanctioned, and Halsey had to live with it. Halsey had to die with it, even, from a legal perspective. They imprisoned her and forced her to work for them and erased her from existence.

She couldn't make it up to those kids she hurt. She couldn't stop most of them from dying. The most insidious, fucked up part was she couldn't even convince them that what was done to them wasn't okay, that the ends didn't justify the means, that demanding the sacrifice of innocents wasn't acceptable.

She couldn't save her own family from the war, she couldn't even save her relationship with her daughter from the damage caused by her job. (And the UNSC recruited Miranda, too.)

It is no wonder she is so, so, so bitter.

I feel like Halo after Reach didn't know what to do with Halsey anymore and has kind of drifted writing her as just a haughty evil scientist with sometimes incomprehensible motives, but........... but...........!

[jkpfr]

Circus music plays in his head non-stop; that’s the kind of person he is. It always gives an edge to whatever situation he’s in.

Right now, there are only two things he knows for sure:

1. Everything burns.

2. Circus music is playing.

He’s not a religious fellow, but he thinks that surely, this must be Hell.

Whatever is the rough texture underneath him, its tiny pieces each eat at his skin. He’s being cooked from above and steamed inside his clothes. It hurts and it’s not even funny.

Now he hears a crunching sound somewhere near him – most likely the crackling of flames making their way to him. Shouldn’t he be dead already?

No, never mind. He remembers the “Hell” shtick. This might go on a while.

“- Ciel.”

Lucifer has the strained voice of a familiar young woman.

“- Ciel, open your eyes.

- Hmrghmpf…”

Oh, the horror. Whatever noise escaped his throat launches him into a painful coughing fit.

Ack! Euargh! Rah!!!

“- Are you okay?

- No!”

He’s lost and in pain! The last thing he remembers is terrifying – and now what? Eternal punishment? What did he do wrong?!

“- I’m so sorry.”

And that woman – she doesn’t sound like the devil. Once he’s done trying to reject the dry insides of his throat, he turns his head in the direction of her voice, having to blink to adjust to the blazing light for longer than he’s ever had to before.

When he’s done…

How weird. The woman in front of him looks just like Emily...

The Emily who died not so long ago.

“- I can’t believe… I can’t believe someone killed you.

- Me?”

The circus music continues to play. He was the one to think of Hell, to flinch upon thinking of his most recent memory, and yet when she – she, of all people, faces him and says that, he questions it immediately.

“- I can’t be dead.”

He’s digging his own grave right now, after all. Emotionally, at least.

The proof is in the pudding: she looks at him like she’s had this exact conversation before.

“- You say that… But you probably remember what happened to you.”

He can’t argue with that.

It’s still a little difficult to accept.

“- It was terrifying.

- I know.”

She probably doesn’t know what happened to him, but…

“- Emily…”

A man chased after her and slit her throat. Without thinking about it, the clown lowers his gaze to look at her neck, where he finds a thin white line right where her life was taken away from her.

He remembers seeing her dead. Again, without even thinking about it, he brings his hands to his own neck. Did he die from being strangled? He can still see himself fighting back. His insides were burning then nearly as hot as his skin right now; he knew that nothing could save him – he scratched and scratched above him with an energy only despair can bring about, aware that he was dying.

He’d never felt like that. He’ll never feel like it again.

“- Let’s move. You’re probably uncomfortable.

- You bet…

- I built a tree house. It can accommodate for you too.

- You… did…?”

He finally takes the time to look around them. It looks like they’re in the middle of a wide beach, sandwiched in-between a thick forest and an endless sea.

How did he get there? Is this supposed to make sense? He’s supposed to believe that he just spawned on this strange beach… on an island where a changed Emily built a tree house to live in?

He chuckles to himself. It’s just absurd.

“- You built a tree house all alone?”

She nods shyly.

“- Yes. Ben helped me make it better, though.

- WHO?”

A stinging yell escaped his throat of its own. Hearing this name—that information takes a few seconds to reach his brain. Of course, he thinks. Of course. But before he can register the pit in his stomach, the cracking sound of steps in the sand reach his ears again, and soon enough, a tall figure steps next to him, covering him in shadow.

“- Tch. Be louder next time. Scare the Gods awake.”

Huh?

“- Quit being so pissy. Let’s bring Ciel to the cabin.”

Wah?

“- I’m a sore loser. Now keep an eye on the beach.

- What? Why?

- Where do we come from? Have you ever asked yourself an existential question like that? What put us here? Why are we here?”

Ben has changed too.

Though he’s furious, the young clown is somehow left in admiration of the person standing above him, shielding him from the sun.

“- Pff…”

Emily stands up. She’s quick on her feet, and as soon as she’s standing, she does an unnecessary little jump; most likely for no reason other than to prove she’s herself.

“- You’re being weird! Just tell me what’s wrong.”

A pause. Benjamin is carefully watching the beach.

“- Ciel.

- Yes?”

Fuck. He shouldn’t have answered. But how do you react when a horrible person talks to you? When does it become okay for your priorities to shift?

That's something only someone with future-reading abilities may be able to tell...

“- Did someone else die?”

[starcrossedjedis]

SARA did I just see you have a MK oc??! TELL ME EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY -🍂

ALVITA you totally saw that right 😁

Mortal Kombat was my absolute comfort film of 2021 and I have watched it an unhinged amount of time 😅

So naturally an OC was spawned 🥰

Meet Detective Katherine Chen, currently undercover as a small scale drug dealer, because these jobs have a tendency of opening doors within the LAPD - and she has her eyes firmly set on the homicide division.

But even the most meticulus preparation doesn’t account for bad luck and so she's made by another dealer she'd taken in way back in her patrol days.

Kate makes a narrow escape and even manages to take out one of the drug ring’s most nefarius enforcers. But not before he puts a knife into her, leaving her to bleed out in a dark back alley somewhere in Central City.

When Kate comes to, she finds herself in an ancient Shaolin temple at the end of the world with a strange dragon branding on her torso and a mysterious man with glowing eyes telling her she killed one of Earthrealm’s champions and now has to compete in an ancient tournament called Mortal Kombat.

She has only a few months left to get battle ready with the help of two other champions and to unlock her Arcana - the ancient power awoken by the dragon mark.

She arrives a few months before the others, training with Liu Kang and Kung Lao - who make no secret of the fact that she probably killed the other champion by dumb luck and that while her martial arts training might have been enough to stun the guys at the academy, it's nowhere near where it needs to be with nothing less than the fate of all mankind at stake.

The weeks fly by and while her fighting improves greatly, Katherine still hasn't unlocked her Arcana. Much to Raiden's dismay, who likes to remind her that the clock is ticking for Earthrealm. And who suspects that his two best students might be finding it hard to train her with the appropriate urgency.

And when the others arrive and it turns out that it's not just Katherine who isn't ready for the tournament it soon turns out that a certain monk especially might be pulling his punches...

So, that's the (I'd say) first act on Katherine 🤗

Her Arcana is the ability to turn the kinetic energy of an attack into a shield (looking like a sort of glowing/fiery force field or throw it back at her opponent like an energy ball/sphere). She unlocks it during the fight in the temple, when she steps between Liu Kang and what would have been a deadly attack and turns it into a shield covering the both of them long enough for Raiden to get them out alive.

Liu Kang is in love with her and has no idea what to do with that, Kung Lao calls her mèimei (little sister) - losing him wrecks her almost as much as it does Liu Kang - and she hates Kano so fucking much she wishes her Arcana was to make people drop dead with a glare. Also, I am pretty sure that she'll gonna get along great with Johnny Cage (I love Karl Urban, sue me) and again, Liu Kang has no idea what to do with that 😁

I am always down to clown if you wanna know more and since it looks like my creative rut is still going nowhere, I am thankful for anything that keeps me working on any of my OCs in any sort of capacity 🤗