#but then again weirder shit has happened

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

---

Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

[quietwingsinthesky]

🌹:O

:3c

Lucifer doesn't care how the labcoats say it works; he knows there's no such thing as a clean break from a drift the minute the plug is pulled. Instead, Michael goes from a second consciousness beside his own to being dragged out of Lucifer the further Lucifer gets from him, both of them gripping tight to the connection until it slips, until it snaps, with a violent recoil that knocks Lucifer's brain out of alignment and reminds his legs that they don't work. His next step falls too fast, too heavily, and refuses to take his weight. It's only Michael, now only a voice outside of Lucifer's head yelling his name, catching him from behind that allows Lucifer to collapse to the floor with his dignity intact.

[custer-mp3]

might fuck around and make some decaf idk

anyway just saw a line of fifty-dollar plain greige shirts marketed to trans ppl that were so fucking joyless i want to gouge my eyes out lmaoooo. truly 20-y.o. me did not foresee this potential monkeys paw when begging the universe for clothing options specifically for People Like Us. sorry for possibly in any way speaking this into existence along with the accompanying hundred-dollar pants that only come in a 28 inseam & eighty-dollar FITTED dysphoria hoodies lmao i'll go crawl in my fucking hole now

[aemiron-main]

if the weird anon who keeps sending me my full name AGAIN would please knock it off that would be very cool

[elytrafemme]

i love google docs and google drive but sometimes opening that shit is a nightmare bc literally what do u mean i have access to a state candidate for senator (?)’s campaign organizer in my docs. literally why would i have that shit readily accessible i haven’t worked any campaigns like, ever. ???

[cafterdark]

There's something about gradual mind breaking that drives me wild.

Imagine this. Your life is shit, you're stuck ina deadend cubical job. 9-5 bullshit galore. One day, you're assigned to train a new coworker. She's pretty, way above your league. And yet she's kind. She compliments you and your skills honed to perfection working these bullshit shifts. But still, she's way prettier than you so you feel awkward even acknowledging them.

The two of you have lunch together. The two of you were talking, and she was still complimenting you for some reason. About how pretty your hair is or how cute your smile looks. You can't even comprehend looking anything but shit. She pouts and fiddles with her phone a bit. Then she asks you to watch a video. Suddenly you're back at work. When did the break end? No matter.

She tells you how pretty your eyes were. You smile because good girls accept compliments and tell her how gorgeous her lips are because good girls are honest. The rest of the day the two of you compliment each other.

It's beenmonth since then and both of you just keep complimenting each other. Sure, your compliments are getting kind of weird. You don't know when you started calling her Mistress as a joke, but it's hard to stop now. But she tells you that it's normal for good girls to call their Mistress Mistress so you keep doing it anyway. Besides, her compliments are getting weirder too. Mistress has made it a habit to pin you to a wall before telling you them. Then she just tells you how submissive and docile you are. She kisses you a lot now. Good girls deserve to be kissed by their Mistress ofc, so you don't complain.

Work itself is harder now. You just can't keep up like you used to. You're just so horny and Mistress doesn't help. You know that good girls are horny messes, but it's so aggravating. The tight clothes that show off so much don't help, but good girls are required to wear them so what can you do? Mistress has to pick up a lot of your slack, but she doesn't seem to mind. And besides good girls let Mistress do the work for them.

Breaks are great. Mistress shows you another video and you feel so good and good girls deserve to feel good. You feel so good that you don't remember what happens during them. You've started finding bruises and bite marks on your skin after them, though you don't know why. You don't care because good girls need to be marked. For the rest of the shift, she keeps touching you and teasing. By the end you can barely stand.

At the clock terminal, Mistress pins you to the wall and makes out with you before leaving. You're frozen by lust for several minutes before stumbling to your car.

Three months in and things are now really weird. You can't tell why anymore. Your head feels like cotton most of the time. You ask Mistress why everything feels so weird, because good girls always ask Mistress for help. She gives you some pets and kisses you, reminding you that dumb puppies don't think. Your boss threatens to fire you because of poor performance, but it's not your fault you're a dumb puppy. Everyone knows that dumb puppies don't work. Dumb puppies are to be submissive and docile. Mistress does most of the work, she's so good at it that she's up for promotion.

Breaks are so fun. Mistress shows you another video. When you wake up, you feel sooooooo good. Like all the energy built up during the morning was just released. Mistress cleans you up and then she starts working again while you heel. Then when you clock out, Mistress attaches a leash to your collar and gives you a walkies home. The walkies home is the best part.

Six months in and life is perfect. You don't work anymore and that's okay. Dumb puppies don't work anyway. You and Mistress live together at her place. You sleep in your cage and if you're a really good puppy, Mistress lets you sleep at the foot of her bed. The best time is when Mistress works. She works at home now. Your job is to be adorable by sleeping in a dog bed under her desk. Well, that and pleasure her, because a dumb puppy's only role is to be her Mistress's fucktoy.

During lunch Mistress fills your bowl with kibble and it tastes amazing. She doesn't show you videos anymore. She says you're perfect now. You don't understand what she means but it doesn't matter. Dumb puppies don't think after all.

After Mistress finishes working, she takes you on walkies and plays with you. It's so fun and nice and amazing. And if you're a really good girl, the best puppy in the whole world, she'll let you sleep in the bed with her. Your life is amazing.

[fatuismooches]

fabulam diu oblitus - first interlude.

synopsis: The tale of the raven and the sparrow has long been forgotten by most, but some will always remember.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: This is the second part of a multi-chaptered Dottore fic, please read the prelude before reading this one. Your and Dottore's life continues to be told via a fairy tale crafted by the one and only Dendro Archon. Mostly fluff this chapter but the last two will not be so nice. Obligatory @kaixserzz mention and all my anons who inspired me to write this! (🎐 anon <3)

prelude. first interlude. second interlude. postlude. sequel.

“But one day, a miracle happened. The bird woke up from their eternal rest, utterly confused and lost.”

When you woke up, everything was hazy. Your eyes were open, but you couldn’t see anything. Rather, you could not process what you were seeing. It was a strange state. Everything felt fuzzy… but then the light from above glared suddenly right into your eyes, and you instinctively moved your hand to block the blinding light.

You were wide awake now, blinking your eyes and rubbing them. And though you had just woken up from a good nap, you quickly realized nothing made sense. Everything was eerily quiet, to the point where you could hear a pin drop. The grand and expensive room, the large plush bed. This wasn’t the hospital! And it looked absolutely nothing like the Akademiya either, not even the architecture! When you moved to stretch your arms, that’s when the biggest discovery finally hit you. 

Attached to your arms was an alarming amount of wires, hooked up to machines and whatnot.

Okay… now you had gone from mildly confused to kind of scared. You weren’t dead, right? Nope, pinching yourself still hurts. And- ouch, the random sharp pains you suddenly got in parts of your body were most definitely real. And these clothes, they weren’t yours, but they looked like something you’d wear. But… why were you like this? And more importantly, where was Zandik? You remember your beloved quite clearly… you were waiting for him to visit you again… hmm. And for some reason, you felt… a lot better than what you remembered? You felt super tired in that hospital, but now, you think you got a bit better. That was weird. But anyway, you had bigger issues. It was even weirder how you were no longer in that drab, busy hospital.

There was no other option than to go find Zandik and learn where you were. However, you had to get rid of these wires first. Without putting too much thought into it, you pulled one off your arm.

Horrible idea.

Before you could even blink, a loud alarm suddenly started blaring inside the room, scaring the shit out of you. What the hell? As any frenzied person would do, you began to pull off even more wires from your arm rapidly before finally all of them were off. The alarm merely kept going off which was obviously quite disturbing to you. Were people going to burst through the door at any moment and incapacitate you again? Wait, were you kidnapped? Oh, you just wanted Zandik to be with you right now, you thought as you pulled the heavy blankets off your body. Surely he’d know what to do. And then the door to the room slammed open, immediately beckoning your attention as you snapped your neck to see who it was. 

And lo and behold, it was Zandik. 

Your Zandik, draped in the Akademiya’s robes. Those red eyes and blue hair that you loved. Suddenly you could forget about your current abnormal situation and block out the noise, solely focused on your heart positively soaring as you gazed upon your love. 

But you quickly realized that he did not share the same expression. Not in the slightest. Rather, Zandik was looking at you with surprise, shock, astonishment, whatever you wanted to call it. It made you feel wholly uneasy. Why was your love looking at you as if you were from another universe? Like you had come back from the dead? Before you could question him, another person barreled in through the door. Another mop of blue hair. Another pair of red eyes. Another Zandik. 

Your heart stopped for a moment. 

Who were these people, and what have they done with your Zandik?

It only got worse when yet another Zandik look-alive entered. Only this time he was wearing bloodied clothing and gloves. You were too shocked to scream, and now all the other blue-haired people were panicking at your fearful expression and began fighting amongst themselves.

“Why would you come in looking like that?!”

“How was I supposed to know they had woken up?! It’s been centuries, I thought a wire detached by accident or something!” The one with the bloody coat and pink bow tie snapped back. The bickering continued but that was the least of your worries right now. You glanced around the room, trying to see if there was another escape route.

The windows. Yes, they would have to work. You didn’t know what floor you were on, but you’d have to take a gamble. You inched towards the end of the bed and swung your legs off the edge, hoping to bolt to it quickly. You placed one foot on the ground, putting all your force into it to sprint and-

Instead, your legs buckled and you fell pathetically to the floor, squeaking in a mixture of pain and surprise. You tried to heave yourself up with your arms, but your legs felt too weak. It was as if your legs wouldn’t, or perhaps couldn’t listen to your demands. You wiggled them around a bit, but it seemed as if they didn’t have enough strength to stand up on their own. You didn’t understand. Even though you were quite sick before, you could still walk a bit. This, however, was an unfamiliar sensation that filled you with dread. And now the Zandik clones’ attention was back on you.

“Oh fuck,” one of them mumbled, running his hands through his hair. You gulped, but they seemed reluctant to come near you judging from their nervous expressions. Well, you were going to take advantage of that, so you continued crawling toward the window. “Go get Prime. Now,” he hissed. A clone rushed out of the room but that was the least of your concerns. It was slightly humiliating to be watched as you crawled, but you persevered anyway. Thankfully, there was a table near the window, so you could use it to pull yourself up without using your legs too much. How were you going to escape with virtually no legs? Well, that was future [Name]’s problem. 

The clones, on the other hand, seemed incredibly antsy about your hand on the curtain, ready to pull it away. It seemed as if they were trying to speak but didn’t know how. But without any more delay, you yanked the curtain to the side to reveal…

A completely white background. Snow that certainly was more than knee deep, that clung to the windows and weighed the trees down. You had never seen anything like it before. The mere sight of it made you dizzy and a nauseating feeling came over you as you stumbled back and landed on the floor again. Wherever you were, it was not Sumeru. And even if you could escape, you would certainly freeze to death in a few seconds. The reality of the situation made your skin crawl and overheat. You looked back at the fake Zandiks and noticed they were a bit closer than before. Your rapidly beating heart was not a good combination for the major headache that was beginning to grow. 

“Don’t… don’t come near me,” your lightheadedness made the words come out more of a mumble than a command, your throat now dry and clogged. Not being able to defend yourself was a horrible feeling. Through your blurry eyes, you think the clones felt sorry for you… which really made you feel worse, to be honest, actually to the point of feeling like you were going to pass out from all of this stress and pain.

… And you did pass out. But not before a pair of hands caught you before your head hit the floor.

—

“Meanwhile, the raven could not contain his excitement. Finally, after four hundred years spent alone, his beloved was back. Despite all of the power and knowledge he basked in, he was admittedly… lonely without them. If the raven had never met them, he would have been fine. But the sparrow had relentlessly pecked a hole into his formerly impenetrable heart, one that they vowed to fill for eternity as an apology. But… they were not here to fill it for so long, creating an indescribable void in him.”

When one of his segments burst into his office without even knocking, Dottore was initially irritated. He did not like to be disturbed, especially in the middle of his own personal research. But 02 only had to say one word for his attitude to flip dramatically. Your name. He didn’t even wait for the clone to finish his sentence before he quickly made his way to your room, multiple possibilities running through his mind as to what could have happened. Surely it wasn’t possible for your condition to get even worse, right? He gritted his teeth and increased his pace until he saw the crowd at the door of your room. He didn’t bother questioning any of them as he stepped into the room, expecting to see your body still lying on the bed. But it was empty… because you were awake, wide-eyed, and a bit terrified, but awake nonetheless.

Even the wise doctor couldn’t help but be frozen in shock. Four hundred years of emptiness, of silence, of nothingness. A stagnant eternity had passed in front of his eyes. You had remained ever so still for so long, but now you finally were moving and speaking in front of him.

Would he call this a miracle? No, he would not because the scientist did not believe in miracles. He didn’t believe in anything that the Gods supposedly granted. He knew you would wake up, it was just a matter of when, and however long that was, he would wait. Contrary to what many people thought, Dottore could be a patient man. Perhaps it was because all of the people in the Fatui were witnesses to his short fuses and a low tolerance for inability, but he could be extremely patient with the proper circumstances. Now, all his waiting had finally paid off, Dottore thought as he caught you in his arms. Indeed… everything had finally paid off.

Dottore wondered how you would react when you woke up again. How much would you remember? Would you recognize him? He already had a multitude of notes and plans written for when you woke up, but it would depend all on you. You, you, you… yes, he would go to astonishingly and morally dubious lengths just for you.

—

“The butterfly had come to realize that their beloved raven had changed while they were sleeping. The raven had draped himself in fox fur, no longer the same from hundreds of years ago. The butterfly was not too bothered, as they were changed too, but they could not help but feel that they were left behind.”

When you woke up once again, the ceiling looked different and the bed you were in was much more plain and stiff than the previous one, as if no one used it. Though the out-of-place blanket and pillows looked as if someone threw them in out of consideration for you. You raised your hand to your temple and gently rubbed it. Somehow, your oncoming headache was gone, which was good. You began to observe the room. This one was a stark difference from the other one. It was mostly plain and boring, and much smaller. It literally only had this bed and a desk which was crowded with piles upon piles of paperwork, and you could faintly make out the writing. It was hard to read and bore a resemblance to… Zandik. Instantly your curiosity was piqued.

You don’t know what happened during the time you fainted, but somehow your legs seem to have gotten a bit stronger. In fact, there seemed to be a new bandage on your leg. Did someone inject you with something while you were sleeping…? You swallowed the unease before you hobbled over and quickly took a seat on the chair, eyes sweeping over the multitude of papers. You began reading the one on top.

“Experiment 23 has failed me once again with their utter uselessness. No matter how many times I modify the drug, their body keeps rejecting it leaving me only with a mess to clean up. What a pathetic waste of my time.” Alright, that was… something. You pushed that one to the side and began reading through more, but they were mainly the same gist. “Subject 14 died today. I must tell one of the segments to take care of it. Perhaps we can still get some use out of the body… A test subject attempted escape today. That was the first one in a while, but it was handled quickly.” More experimentation on different subjects, all labeled with a different number. It was no doubt horrifying but… oddly interesting to you. But one thing that stuck out to you was the name signed at the bottom.

Il Dottore. Il Dottore? What kind of name was that? You kept flipping through the papers, many falling to the floor when you noticed the desk also had some drawers. Pulling them open, there were a few notebooks inside. But that’s not what bothered you. It was the fact that each of them had one word on the cover.

Your name.

This day could not get any creepier. The theory of you getting kidnapped by some crazy person was starting to seem a lot more plausible. Though you hesitated at first, you just had to know what was inside, picking up the notebook on top. You flipped open to the first page. It had nothing but the same few words repeated over and over, divided by lines as the day changed. “No changes in [Name]’s condition.” Alright then… strange. Your eyes flicked over to the date written at the corner of the entry. Month, day, year, yes…

Wait. That year. Your eyes nearly popped out when you looked at it, for it simply could not be true. Because it was… extremely far into the future. A horrible feeling sank into you as you began rapidly turning the pages. Maybe it was just a mistake, you begged no one but yourself, but it was the same over and over again. And that’s when you got to the page that made you dizzy. “Today marks four hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” The sheer shock of that sentence could have made you faint again. 

Gulping, you grabbed the next notebook in the pile. The dates of these were before those of the first one. Yet again, one of the pages stated, “Today marks three hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” And then the next notebook said, “Today marks two hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” The last journal in the pile ended with, “Today marks one hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.”

In that one, the first page started with, “Today marks the first day since [Name] fell asleep.” The date on this page was very familiar to you. It was the year when you got sick. Trying to calm your unsteady breaths, you read the writing.

“I would have never thought things would have turned out like this. This possibility is one that I never thought of. That was completely foolish of me. I should have been more practical, more realistic. If I had planned for and acknowledged the possibility, perhaps I would have been able to prevent it. But it is too late now. I will write here every day to keep track of [Name]’s condition. If all goes accordingly, they will wake up in due time.”

You placed down the book and put your face in your hands, contemplating what you just read. So… if you were understanding this correctly… you’ve been stuck in a coma for over four hundred years, only now waking up. And this person, it had to be Zandik. He was the only one who would do all of this for you. But that didn’t explain why there were multiple copies of him running around… Oh… but the fact you were asleep for four hundred years… was that even possible? Was this real? A wave of fatigue at this information rolled through you again.

Not only did you miss over four hundred years of life… that meant you weren’t exactly human, were you? Or perhaps you were and you simply had your lifespan increased? So, so many questions. What happened to Zandik during this time? What happened to you? Were you even okay? How had your body survived such a thing? You felt like crying. How could this happen to you… you were about to actually start weeping when the door opened, giving you a start.

Another Zandik - or perhaps this was Il Dottore - stood at the entrance, hand frozen on the doorknob as he looked straight at you. You instinctively backed into the chair. You couldn’t help but still be uneasy after everything you just went through.

“[Name],” your name spilled out of his lips almost unconsciously, his face still expressionless, but that quickly changed as he broke out into a large, pointy smile. “[Name],” he said again, though much louder this time before locking the door behind him. “[Name]... you’re truly awake.” The way he reveled in your name seemed almost mad and obsessed. The man then noticed the disarray of his desk and grinned even further, striding up to you.

“Ah, ever the inquisitive one, are you? Seems like your curiosity has not changed. And you can still read my notes… good, good. Better than what I expected.” Zandik’s(?) voice only grew more delighted. You remained silent, to which he looked slightly disappointed, but he seemed to have expected this reaction as well. He bent down on one knee, placing one hand on his chest while the other intertwined with your own hand. He didn’t externally show how he felt when he did so, the sheer excitement he felt when your hand was no longer deathly cold, instead some warmth running through it now.

“Do not look like that, [Name]. You know who I am, do you not?” The scholar looked up at you expectantly, the pleased smile never leaving his lips. His touch, though it was through gloves, was so familiar. The voice, that was deeper than how you remembered it, made you feel a certain way. Your free hand reached out to his face, fingers tracing the mask he wore. Slowly, you began to remove it to see if he would object, but he did not even flinch. When you looked at his uncovered face, you just knew deep down it was Zandik. It was your Zandik who belonged to you. Though his face now had scars, it was him. Your beloved. You brushed your fingers against the scarred skin, and this time he nuzzled into your touch as if you were some kind of divine being.

“Zandik… Oh Zandik,” you murmured, staring right into his brilliant red eyes. “It’s you, isn’t it?” Zandik moved your hands closer to his lips, before biting down on your fingers with those sharp teeth of his.

“Indeed I am, dearest, but these days they tend to call me The Doctor.”

After that, you wouldn’t let go of Zandik, or rather, Dottore, as he came to explain. He answered your barrage of questions, one by one, which only blew your mind each time. After you fell into a coma, he was recruited by the Fatui. With their funding and support, he was able to keep you stable and also advance his own research, even reaching the high position of the Second Harbinger. Il Dottore, The Doctor to be exact. And those other people you saw, those were his segments. Segments from different periods of his life that he made… You were stunned by those accomplishments.

For hundreds of years, this went on as you remained stagnant… until now. Now, everything had changed, and Dottore was entirely fascinated with you. He ran countless tests, poked and prodded at all parts of your body, all while dumping so many things on you rapidly and excitedly. A recollection of all the things that had happened during your slumber. There were a good amount of words that you didn’t understand too… the language of Teyvat had surely changed a lot. It was quite reminiscent of the old days when he would keep you awake in the dorm with his rambling, but this felt oddly… different.

Dottore was a completely different person from the Zandik you knew. Though the old Zandik wasn’t a good person, Dottore was… different. Very different. There was no boundary he wouldn’t cross for his research, ignoring the laws of Teyvat and life itself. And he was wearing a fucking harness too… but… he did look quite attractive in it so… it was an upgrade for you. Though what really happened while you were asleep? He was different, so so different - powerful and intelligent enough to rival even the Gods, among numerous other feats. It felt like he was a completely different person.

Meanwhile, you felt as though you were stuck as that useless, weak student whose purpose was dwindling by the day. And that wasn’t really a lie to be honest, as you soon learned you still were quite ill. You had only woken up from a coma. You weren’t cured. Your body was still frail and fragile, needing medicine and lots of rest otherwise there would be consequences. And your legs, they were able to get a little bit better from the shot Dottore gave you that worked since you were no longer unconscious, but you still wobbled a lot. You still had a lot of pains in general from this mysterious illness as well. So all in all… conscious and alive, but not very well. But, you were still grateful. You had over four hundred years worth of life you missed out on… you wanted to catch up desperately.

Of course, there was also the number one desire to spend countless hours with Dottore now. And you had to get used to his new personality… No longer was he the snarky, snappy, and irritable boy you once knew. Now he was effortlessly cunning and charming, so above others as their opinions could not mean anything to one akin to a God. And while he had always been possessive, Dottore seemed to ramp it up out of nowhere. In a way, you understood, because if you had to be consciously separated from Dottore for that amount of time, you would have gone crazy a long time ago. 

You were possessive too, but Dottore somehow was much more comfortable with physical and verbal affection than his old self from over four hundred years ago. You remember you’d have to beg and plead to merely sit on his lap before, but on the first day you awoke, he hoisted you there and refused to let you leave. He nipped at your ear and sensitive spots teasingly with no hint of embarrassment, all within a few hours after you woke up as if he couldn’t wait another moment. His hands were so big and they seemed to know every part of your body, he seemed to know exactly what to say to push your buttons now, all so different from when the positions were reversed a while ago… Of course, you still knew him quite well too, but still, you felt as though maybe he was partially a stranger now… Only time would tell you how much he had changed. You just hoped you were still good enough for him.

—

“Over time, the raven had divided himself into numerous others, each with a unique personality. The butterfly was initially scared by these new creatures, but eventually, they warmed up to the new ravens.”

It had been only a few weeks since you’d woken up, and although Dottore presented you with your own grand room in the lab, you hadn’t touched it much. Who could blame you? You were still jittery and nervous about all the new things in this world, and how to adapt to your new life. So he had gotten used to you crashing on his bed now every day. No, he wasn’t upset in the slightest. After all, he still had a lot to talk to you about. It would probably take a few centuries to tell you every little thing that happened during the last few centuries.

Dottore had shown you so many new wonders of Teyvat, things that could have never existed centuries ago, in all subjects and areas. It made you feel a bit scared and almost disheartened to know the world changed so much in your absence. But… there were some people in the lab to help you.

Dottore’s segments. 

You had learned that the numbers went up to 24, but there weren’t actually 24 segments. They were numbered in the order of creation, and not all of Zandik’s created segments were successes so it jumped around at times. For example, there were no 11, 12, 17, and so on. Even with all of Dottore’s expertise in making clones, he didn’t guarantee success. And yes… their names were merely numbers.

Although the segments hadn’t hurt you in any way, you were still a bit… scared. Hearing that your lover now had copies of himself running about was one thing. Accepting it was another thing, and you tried to cling to your Zandik as much as possible. But the clones were always scattered throughout the laboratory, so you usually ended up bumping into them. Or perhaps they were following you on Dottore’s orders. He probably thought it wasn’t safe for you ever to be alone, especially right now. But you were trying your best to warm up to them, because, after all, they were still Zandik, no? Their love for you stemmed from Zandik’s overwhelming love for you. They were really a testament to how much you were cherished. And so, they were obviously worthy of your love and attention. 

01 was the spitting image of Zandik when he was in the Akademiya. The last person you’d seen before you fell into a long sleep. Every time you looked at him, your heart hurt a little bit. He still had that snark you remembered so well, especially towards other people. And he still had that subtle softness afforded only to you, that you also remembered.

The bloody one who gave you a fright was 02. He had a pink bow tie and also donned a suit. You honestly weren’t sure what kind of phase Zandik went through during that stage of life to dress and act so drastically differently compared to his other clothes but it was… cute. You liked 02. He was a stark difference from the composed nature of the other clones, but you liked his laugh. Whenever you responded favorably to one of his long tangents, he sometimes hee-hee-ho-ho-ed loudly. 02 was also the most likely to bite you unprompted.

You had yet to meet 10, which was surprising because all the other segments were jumping at the opportunity to merely be in the same room as you. All Dottore had said was that he “needed some time” before he decided to speak to you. You weren’t sure what that meant, but you didn’t question it further. There were other segments as well, like 04. He was a serious and stern segment. The others were especially cautious around him. You were too, seeing his demeanor, but thankfully, he seemed to cool down around you. And 18 had a noticeably softer tone than the other segments and longer hair that embroidered his face nicely. He was also the one who seemed to smile a lot. This segment would always wave hi to you as well, funnily enough.

Meanwhile, 24 seemed to be the strongest of the segments and the highest-ranking one. The others didn’t seem to like him very much, but in the end, they always had to listen to him. He also seemed to be the boldest, and the most greedy. You distinctly remember your first meeting with him. It was something alright.

24 had raised your hand to his lips and kissed it, the smile on his face never leaving. “I have been waiting a long time to finally meet you, [Name].” Your words almost got stuck in your throat from the blatant display of affection. None of the other clones were ever so daring, instead settling with awkward conversation and fleeting glances of longingness at you. 

“Oh… well, it’s nice to meet you…?” You waited for his name.

“Twenty-Four.”

“Ah. Nice to meet you then, Twenty-Four.”

“No, the pleasure is all mine,” he hummed before releasing your hand. “If you ever need something, by all means, feel free to tell me. I shall see it done, far more efficiently than anyone else.” You ignored the subtle remark thrown at his other fellow segments.

“Thanks, Twenty-Four,” you smiled slightly, not sure what else to say after that.

“Of course. I do look forward to our further conversations, [Name]. I imagine they will be quite enlightening,” his deep voice chuckled as he walked away. Well… that was certainly something. You swallowed your throat that had gone dry, still feeling a bit fuzzy from that kiss. His lips felt soft against your hand.

Well, regardless of how you felt about the segments, you had to warm up quickly as they were starting to be with you for almost every task. Though Dottore had solely administered your medicine at first, you learned that his Fatui work kept him far more busy than you anticipated… he really was different now, huh? No longer the student you could bother all day. 

So instead, the clones had begun to share the responsibility of taking care of you, whether that be medicine, shots, check-ups, general tasks, or anything really. Nothing was off the table, considering how much you still struggled sometimes. You felt awkward at first, asking them for help, seeing as you felt embarrassed asking people who you didn’t know well, but they always seemed pleased to do it. Especially if you asked them specifically rather than another clone. So it would only be fair if you returned the energy to them.

You began with conversation. They reciprocated. You moved on to small touches. They liked that. You decided to give them each a kiss on the cheek. You probably should have thought some more about how that would affect them because there was no going back after that. Once you had shown so much interest, there was no way they weren’t going to take you up on your offer. Let’s just say it never ends with just one kiss. It ends with too much to count. So… nowadays it wasn’t unusual to find yourself on the operating table after a check-up, a segment on each side of you fighting over your attention. Perhaps one arm wrapped around your waist and another resting on your thigh… yes, very normal.

However, dealing with your health concerns wasn’t the only purpose of your beloved segments. They also had to teach you other things. 01 was on academics, as you would assume, him being the Akademiya clone and all. Well, it was less academics and more like relearning how to write properly and Teyvat’s new language. It was really hard, to be honest, to have your brain try and keep up with the sudden onslaught of new information, and for you to steady your hand from shaking so much, but surprisingly enough, 01 didn’t lose patience as quickly as you thought he would. You thought he would, considering how snappy you remember Zandik being in the Akademiya. 01 noticed your curious stare.

“What?”

“Nothing… I was just wondering why you haven’t said anything remotely snarky yet,” you hummed, leaning into the segment with squinted eyes. He rolled his eyes.

“You act as though you want me to yell.”

“Well…” you giggled at his incredulous expression before quickly retracting your statement. It was fun to tease him. And you already had a suspicion as to why he was so patient with you. That was… nice of him.

And 02… well, you weren’t exactly sure what 02 was supposed to be teaching you. He would just… talk a lot, about many different things, pace around the room as he did so, long coat fluttering after him, periodically fixing his bow tie. At the very least, he was quite knowledgeable and had experience journeying in other nations. Yes, that was what intrigued you the most out of all his rants. Especially when he spoke of his exploits in Mondstadt.

“You’re saying… you slayed a dragon? Like, killed it? It’s dead? All by yourself?”

“Indeed, I did. Though it’s a shame that-” Before 02 could finish his sentence, you could not help but jump up and clasp his hands in yours, beaming with excitement. Because really, how could you not be ecstatic at something like that? If one of Dottore’s clones could use such strength easily, it only further boggled your mind as to how strong Prime was.

“That is so, so, so amazing! I had no idea you were so strong!” Your eagerness to hear more was easily noticeable in your tone of voice. 02’s expression went blank for a few seconds, seemingly processing the sudden physical contact and how close you were to him, along with your words, before erupting into loud laughter, his very pointed teeth gleaming in the light. It suddenly occurred to the segment that this would be a perfect opportunity to unabashedly display his brilliance to you.

“Hahaha, if that story pleases you so, then you’ll be far more interested in what I have to say next. That was nothing really, hehe,” 02’s razor-sharp grin did not leave his face, nor did his hands release yours. Let’s just say 02 has a lot of tales to tell. Some were… not for the faint of heart, but you still loved them!

Though, all of the segments’ general duty was to help you regain what you’ve lost. Even the simplest things were not easy anymore. You had to come to terms that your stamina wasn’t the same. Yes, you even had to practice learning how to eat and cut up your food again. Your tongue had to adjust to the flavors of cuisine all over again. Deal with the suddenness of feeling very cold to suddenly hot. Shaking fingers and hands. You had to understand that you had stricter limits now, no longer being able to run or do certain tasks that would overexert yourself. Or sometimes you simply didn’t have the mental energy. Bathing, changing clothes, brushing your hair. Resolving yourself to get out of bed when you knew nothing you could do would amount to anything special. But… the segments helped you with everything. Every morning. Every night. And you were thankful for that.

So, all in all, your relationship with the clones was going pretty great! It's not like it couldn’t, considering how much they all adored you, to be honest. Yet, you still had not met the segment named 10. At first, it didn’t really cross your mind, but the more time you spent with the clones, the more you pondered about who the mysterious segment could be. When you asked 01, you were met with a scoff and eye roll. Hmm… guess they weren’t really a fan of him. However, your curiosities would be remedied soon enough, for there was a quiet knock on your room door a while later. 

It was so quiet as if the person was unsure about whether they wanted to knock or not. Was it one of the segments, trying to slack off work again to talk to you? You quickly opened the door and were met with… nobody. You furrowed your eyebrows before a timid voice sounded from below. 

You tilted your head down and there he was, a young child with blue hair and red eyes… that was startlingly similar to some people you knew… Then, everything seemed to click, and you instinctively knew who this mysterious child could be. It was 10. The one segment you hadn’t seen yet, the one Dottore told you not to worry about. Well, he was here now, but… that meant 10 was a clone of Zandik from when he was a child.

You were, quite frankly, shocked, because never did it cross your mind that Dottore would ever clone his child self. You couldn’t think of exactly what purpose that would serve, considering how the kid couldn’t do the same tasks his adult versions could. His perspective, perhaps? But you knew what happened to Dottore during his childhood. You clearly remember the night in the Akademiya when you told you. He didn’t want your pity, your sympathy, he spat. Despite his protests and attempts to push you away, his words were smothered when you held him close to your chest that night.

But nevertheless, it was time to put those feelings away for you must put your attention on the child in front of you, who was now fiddling with his clothes and fingers in silence. His eyes flicked back to you and the ground, his mouth opening to speak but closing it again before any words could escape, so you spoke first, crouching down to his height.

“Hello, little one. You must be Ten, am I right?” The boy perked up at the mention of his name.

“You know me?”

“Of course I do,” you smiled. “I’ve been eagerly waiting to meet you.” Those few words made 10’s face light up. It seemed like he enjoyed attention. But he still looked nervous. Based on what you knew, you guessed that he’d been hurt by adults and people in general far too much than he should have been, so he was wary about you for a while despite Dottore’s and the older segments’ adoration for you. Of course, you wanted to help him feel safe and reassured around you. And that would only happen by spending time with him.

“Would you like to come in? I have snacks we can share!” You gestured to the inside of your room, and the child looked intrigued, but still on the verge of indecision. “... And I can also read cool stories for you!” That was something kids liked, right? Well, it looked like you guessed right because 10’s whole expression changed as he nodded and suddenly invited himself into your room. It seemed like 10 wanted to trust you badly… and trust you he did.

10 was absolutely precious, more than words could describe. During the first few days, he was quiet, preferring to listen to you read the books he brought you. Sometimes you caught him looking at you, perhaps studying you. But once you continuously showed him kindness and love, the child transformed into a brand new person. He was glued to your side, and all the segments knew about it too. 10 always wanted to be near you. 10 liked the other segments, he really did, but you were the only one who was so nice to him. Ruffling his hair whenever he learned something new. Always indulging his silly little requests, drawing and coloring with him. Showing you his favorite hiding places around the lab. You were sad you couldn’t carry little 10 in your arms, but holding his hand as you two walked together was more than enough.

There was just something about 10 that was so endearing, that felt like he was healing your soul, even just a little bit. He was also extremely openly worried about you, scared that you would get winded over the simplest things. Which was a valid concern, but you reassured him you were stronger than it. It was quite sweet to see him run in front of you to open the doors for you like a gentleman, however. You also learned not to underestimate him, because 10 could truly give some of the most crushing hugs ever. In a loving way, of course. If only you didn’t need the ability to breathe, you’d let him hug you like that whenever. In other words, 10 was your baby.

But, in a way, it was strange to know that Dottore was once a child as simple as they come, although with his own eccentricities and curiosities. A child who did child things before he was deemed a monster. A child who just wanted to be held and reassured.

Regardless, lately, you've been thinking about something. Thinking about the segments’ names, to be exact. You really did love them, and so now you were starting to have an issue with calling them random numbers. They were clones, but they were still people to you… their identity was more than a number! Especially 10. You really did not want to refer to the sweet child as 10.

This had been resting on your mind for a few days and the segments noticed your contemplative expression. It was one of those days where you would just sit in the lab and watch them as they scurried about, doing their duties. It was interesting to watch. But you were caught in a daze more than normal when a voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Do tell me [Name], you seem to be in deep thought lately. What plagues your mind so?” It was 24, his deep voice resonating in your ears. It was then you realized all the other segments’ attention was on you too. Oops. Perhaps you were daydreaming too much.

“Oh… it’s nothing really,” you wondered if they would think your idea was stupid. After all, they didn’t seem to really care about being called a number.

“Nonsense,” 24 shook his head. “Speak your mind.” Well, here you go.

“How do you all feel about your name?” You asked, addressing the other segments as well. “About being called a number, I mean.” The segments looked at you a little strangely.

“I don’t really care,” one of them spoke.

“I care,” another huffed. “Why does Prime get to be called Prime while we’re nameless?”

“That’s a stupid question. It’s because he’s the creator, and we’re merely the segments.”

“It is annoying when someone mixes up our numbers and then something gets messed up with the operations. But nothing major.”

“Why do you ask, [Name]?”

“Well… I was thinking of not calling you guys numbers anymore. I just don’t like how it sounds, considering how much I know you all now, you know? I was just wondering if maybe I could give you all real names instead. But if everyone likes it the way it is now then that’s fine too.” When you finished speaking, the lab was uncharacteristically silent.

“Um… hello?” You chuckled awkwardly as you looked around to find the clones with blank looks on their faces before they all started speaking the same thing at once.

“I want the name.”

“I would like one as well.”

“Me too, dear [Name].”

“To think you would be the one to bestow me with a proper name. How fitting,” 24 smirked. Shit, even he was on board with this.

“Huh? Didn’t you all just say you didn’t care too much about it??” You could have laughed at the dramatic switch-up.

“I’ve changed my mind. Being called a number is actually quite a hindrance.” (That was mostly a lie, this segment didn’t want to admit he just wanted to own something that was given by you, and what bigger honor could be given by a name?)

“Indeed, having a real name would surely be beneficial for many reasons.” (The many reasons being that he could be happy that you gave him a new part of his identity.)

And now, all of a sudden, you had many pairs of eyes directed towards you, waiting expectantly, and you felt extremely unprepared now. What would you name them? For one, you really weren’t that good at names. And you didn’t want to name them something weird either. They were Dottore’s segments after all. It had to fit them… Think, [Name], think… think of something good right now or else you’ll disappoint these poor segments who look so pleased over a name. You then remembered a book you had skimmed through while practicing with 01, that held the letters of a certain alphabet. And suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into your head.

“I’ve got it!” You jumped up and exclaimed to the room. And then, with glee, you swung your hand and pointed it to 01. “From now on, you are no longer 01. You are Alpha.” Alpha blinked at your declaration. 

Then, you moved onto 02. “You, my dear, are Beta. And you,” your finger moving to every clone in the room. “you’re Gamma. Delta. Epsilon. Zeta.” The more you went on, the more they predicted what their name would be. “Eta. Theta. Iota. Sigma. Phi. And lastly, Omega.” You grinned pretty widely after that. That was pretty smart of you, wasn’t it?

“I see… using the letters of that alphabet also corresponds with the numbers that we were given… hehe, how clever,” Beta grinned to himself, enjoying the first few seconds of being Beta.

“And they are short and easy to remember,” Omega hummed. “Good, very good indeed, [Name].” Omega’s hands brushed your cheek, always the possessive one, while the other segments looked on in jealously. You cleared your throat.

“A-Anyways, make sure to tell everyone your new names!” And soon enough, everyone in the lab was aware of the replacement. Even Dottore, as you had made sure to tell him right after. Initially, he thought you were joking, but nope, you were one hundred percent serious. Alright then, he’d let you have your fun. He didn’t know you were this bored, to be honest. 

But it wasn’t until previously named 24 corrected him with only the word “Omega” when he referred to the segment as a number that he realized that you really did change all of their names. Well, Dottore didn’t care too much for names or numbers regarding them, it was all the same anyway, but he’s been letting you spend too much time with the clones… he’ll have to force you to sit on his lap for a while when he’s stuck doing paperwork. He’s the only one who should be the center of your attention.

There was still one last segment you had to name - your dearest 10. You were most excited to name the little boy, having wanted him to have a name to call his own the most. But, there was something that didn’t feel right. Sure, you could just give him another letter of the alphabet but 10’s one had to be… different. The child just had that much of a special place in your heart. And so you pondered and pondered until you came to a decision.

Zandy was the one who would quite literally run behind you and cling to your leg whenever another segment was near. Zandy was the one who would sit in your lap and ask you to read and explain big words to him. Zandy was the one who wouldn’t let go when he softly spoke about the nightmare he had with his hometown.

He was Zandy.

—

“Although the flightless butterfly found great company and love in Dottore and his segments, they still longed for the companionship of others. Thankfully, they managed to make a few friends - a friendly orange fox, a lovely white dove, and a sly snow leopard.”

There was no one that you loved and cared for more than Dottore. That was a fact that would never change no matter what he did or how much blood stained his hands or morals. His presence was one that brought comfort to you, which obviously would sound like a deranged lie to anyone else considering the kind of man Dottore was. But so be it. No one would ever understand your relationship.

But… it would also be a lie to say you didn’t long for the camaraderie of others. It had been a while since you woke up, and the urge to have a friend or two was much stronger than in the Akademiya. Perhaps the loneliness that came with your illness was getting to you. You knew you could tell anything to Dottore but… it would feel nice to have someone to chat with every now and then about mundane, funny things, to get your mind off other stuff, and not to bother your lover so often. It seemed luck would be on your side this time (how rare) because you got exactly what you wanted.

Childe was the first one who had found you first, and it was wholly a chance encounter.

You were simply going back to your room when suddenly a voice called out to you. (Speaking of, you began living in your own room instead of hogging Dottore’s one all the time. You liked it there, you really did… but it was too boring and bland, and your bed was way more comfy than the brick that was Dottore’s bed. And you were starting to adjust to life a lot more now.)

Regardless, the voice certainly wasn’t Dottore or the segments. Turning to look, it was the unfamiliar face of a blue-eyed ginger-haired man. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull.

Practically no one knew of you. The few Fatui assistants there who happened to come across you merely thought of you as another experiment, perhaps one he favored more than the rest. You didn’t talk to them, and they didn’t talk to you. Dottore’s order of others to leave you alone was understood as just another one of his cruel ways of isolating you.

Of course, this wasn’t his intention. If you want to talk to others, then you should do as you please (within reason… no one else shall be hogging your attention besides him.) He respects you. But at this point, it was simply far too risky. Even with the clones, it could be dangerous for you. And of course, not only as a scholar but your lover, he must take into account all possibilities. If there was the slightest chance you’d be hurt, he wouldn’t do it. So you were resolved to be lonely for a while.

Until now. The tall man continued walking towards you, donning a gray suit with a contrasting red mask and scarf, Hydro Vision hanging off his hip. His smile seemed friendly enough and he even raised a hand to greet you, but you were stuck with your hand on your doorknob.

“Hello, comrade. How are you doing?” He was awaiting a response but you were just stuck in the same blank expression, completely unmoving as you gaped at him.

“Are you alright?” He noticed and inquired. Oh dear. This was growing far too embarrassing for your liking. No one had ever prepared for you for what to say in these situations. Should you respond? Or leave? You decided to go with the former, opting to simply nod your head in confirmation. The ginger chuckled, playing it off as you were probably being intimidated by his Harbinger ranking, unbeknownst to him the fact you had no clue who he was.

“I was wondering if you knew the way to Dottore’s office? The segments gave me directions, but every time I come here, I always get lost. This lab is never easy to navigate,” he sighed, scratching his head. 

You raised an eyebrow at his comment. This hallway with your room was specifically hidden within the lab, woven deep between many twists and turns. You genuinely wondered how lost he had to be in order to find himself here. But more importantly, you were faced with the question of whether you should help this man or not. Surely it was okay, you were just giving him directions after all. You would be irrelevant in his mind soon enough. It wasn’t like you were craving some human interaction even though you were a bit scared of talking to people.

Decisively, you turned around and pointed forward. “Go down that way,” you began softly, “and then take two lefts, then a right, another left, then straight, and finally one more right.” You knew the way like the back of your hand, after all, you went there frequently when you were sad, happy, in pain, whatever. When you looked back, the man looked as if you had just spoken another language.

“...Thank you, comrade. Hopefully, I find it, then!” You smiled at him. He was pretty nice.

“Of course. It’s not as long of a walk as you think, too.” The man chuckled in response.

“Whatever distance is fine with me. I always welcome the extra training!” With that, he waved you goodbye and began walking in the direction you pointed him to. Ah, you didn’t ask him his name… but you probably wouldn’t see him again anyway. But he did have a Vision so he was probably fairly strong… oh well. When you were all comfy between your blankets you’d soon forget about it anyway. 

And you were right. You did forget about it once you were tucked in with a nice book to read. Until there was a knock on your door. You thought nothing of it, thinking it was a segment at your door for whatever reason. A snack perhaps. Or one of them snuck away from their duties to visit you. Or maybe even Dottore himself! Regardless, you opened your door without hesitation ready to greet them. Unfortunately for you, it was not a segment. It was not Dottore. It was the same ginger from before, standing at the entrance to your room, with that same smile except it was more apologetic this time.

“Hi there again. You see, I did follow the directions you gave me but I was unsuccessful. So I’m back here again,” the man laughed and rubbed his neck. “I was wondering if you could take me there yourself? You seem to know this place pretty well.”

Your throat went dry as you had to hide your incredulous expression. Seriously, what kind of person did he have to be to end up here not once, but twice? Though he didn’t seem to think anything of it, which was good. But it was then he took notice of the environment behind the doorway, a brief surprise flickering across his face.

“Wow, quite the room you have there.” His stature made it easy for him to peer into your room. Since there was not much for you to do with your illness, you had a lot of fun designing your room (which came out of the “Regrator’s paycheck” according to Dottore.) Your room was decorated and tailored to your preferences, whether that was posters on the wall or hanging lights, shelves lined with your special interests and hobbies. It was easily the most “normal” room in the lab like someone actually lived there. Quite unlike the clones’ room which was literally just a bed and desk. Zandik’s wasn’t much better, but you bought stuff from your room and left it in his in hopes of making it more comfy for him. Instinctively you closed the door further in.

“Maybe you should just go back and ask one of the segments,” you murmured, trying to escape the situation and inching the door closer and closer in.

“I could, but those guys would probably ignore me and give me the same directions again. They aren’t very fond of me.” Well, even you couldn’t really deny that. They didn’t really like anyone… besides you of course. “And then I would end up back here, bothering you again. And finding another agent to assist me would take even longer. And Dottore doesn’t like to be kept waiting, you know.” 

He did have a point… really, it wasn’t like you minded taking him, you were just worried about if it would have any consequences. But, when you finally got a good look at the ginger, for some reason, you didn’t feel like anything bad could possibly happen. Plus, it wasn’t like the segments had to know… maybe, just maybe, you could trust him and finally have a real human conversation with someone besides your lover and his segments. Before you could change your mind, you agreed to his proposal with newfound confidence. 

“Okay, follow me then.” Then you locked your door and the man began to follow you. Thankfully the dull-eyed man had no problem starting the conversation first.

“By the way, I don’t think I’ve got your name.”

“I’m… [Name].” For a brief second, you contemplated giving him a fake name but couldn’t think of anything good. “What is your name?” He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“You don’t know me? I’m Tartaglia, one of the Fatui Harbingers. But you can just call me Childe.” Childe. Childe. That name sounded vaguely familiar. Childe… that was one of the guys Dottore always complained about.

“Oh, I think I’ve heard of you from Dottore.”

“Plenty of bad things, I assume. But I can promise you, I’m not as bad as he says.” You giggled a bit at that.

“Well, I’ll trust you on that.”

“But I am curious. You don’t seem like one of Dottore’s experiments.”

“Yes, I’m not.”

“So are you a Fatuus?”

“Well, I guess you can say that.” Does being Dottore’s lover make you a member of the Fatui by extension? 

“Most members of the Fatui know who the Harbingers are, you know.”

“Err, well, I’m one of his personal assistants,” you lied. “So I don’t know much about the organization itself, since he makes me stay here all the time. You know how he can be. Haha.” You didn’t know what kind of bullshit you were spewing but you just hoped it made some sense.

“Oh, you’re one of his assistants? I haven’t seen you around. I thought he goes through assistants like nothing.”

“Yeah, he does, but… I have special… skills that he likes.” You hoped that would be enough. Childe seemed to nod in understanding.

“Your clothing doesn’t seem to be one of an assistant, though.” He was referring to your casual and comfortable daily outfit.

“As I said, I am special. You know, I have privileges.” That wasn’t a flat-out lie, at least. Childe looked amused.

“How interesting.” And then the conversation moved elsewhere. Childe was still definitely a bit suspicious of you. You could tell by the way he looked at you. But he was a seemingly friendly and easygoing man. If he asked a question that you couldn’t answer, he steered the conversation elsewhere. He was a great conversationalist in general, allowing you to open up a bit despite having just met him. Childe spoke about many things, his training, some battles, his cooking (he even shared with you some new Sumerian recipes you never heard of!), and most interesting to you, the world beyond the lab. Time flew quickly and soon enough you two were outside of Dottore’s office. And you couldn’t help but admit, that was incredibly pleasant.

“Well, here we are, Childe. Dottore’s office.”

“Ah, you were right! That wasn’t as long as I thought. Thank you for your help, [Name]. I’ll go in now.” He sent you a final smile before turning around but you quickly interrupted.

“Oh! Um, by the way, it would be for the best if you kept the fact you met me a secret. Please.”

“Alright then, I will. No one will know.” You beamed in response.

“Thank you! Now, I guess… good luck with the meeting!” And then you two went your separate ways. 

You liked Childe. He was fun to talk to. And it seemed like your wish would be granted because the next week, there was a familiar knock at your door. It was Childe. Although he knew the way better now, he still wanted you to guide him “just in case.” And of course chat with you along the way. Perhaps the latter was the true purpose of his visits, but regardless, this was the start of a secret friendship between you and the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. Childe’s visits to Dottore were sporadic and you couldn’t predict when he would come, so it was a nice surprise whenever he did come around. And no one, not even Dottore himself knew. You didn’t like keeping secrets from your beloved, but it was too good to stop. But of course, all secrets are revealed in the end…

You had once again fallen asleep in Dottore’s office, refusing to leave his side and actually sleep in a proper bed. So he was carrying you back to your room to tuck you in so you wouldn’t whine to him about cramps and sores later. You’d probably complain to him about how you wanted to stay with him but he was used to it.

Dottore didn’t need to worry about being seen as these hallways were specifically hidden and practically couldn’t be found unless you were perhaps looking for them. And no one would look for them as no one besides he and his segments knew of their existence. So Dottore took the time to gaze down at you as he walked. There you were, sound asleep without a care in the world. A part of him still found it amusing how knocked out you were in the arms of a person like him. Weren’t you even the least bit concerned about what he could do? (Of course, the answer was no, because you knew he would never hurt you.)

He continued to your room with an uncharacteristic softness that would almost appear disturbing to others. At last, he reached it, without any-

… Problems, is what Dottore would have liked to say, for at your door was the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger, hand about to knock but now frozen, the two Harbingers standing silent as they stared at each other, almost comedically unmoving. Childe immediately took note of how Dottore held you in his arms bridal style, your head nuzzled into his chest and arms bunched together there as well. The soft rises of your chest signaled that you were peacefully asleep in the Doctor’s arms. There were absolutely no signs of discomfort or fear as any normal person would have around the mad doctor.

Unconsciously, he gripped your body tighter. As much as Dottore would have liked to know why and how the fuck Childe managed to get here, and somehow want to knock on your room of all doors, he was absolutely beyond the point of questions. 

“Tartaglia.” From his tone only, Childe knew he had stumbled upon something he should not have seen. “Speak of this to anyone, and not even your title will save you.”

After that little encounter, when you woke up, Dottore confronted you about what happened, and immediately couldn’t help but spill everything that happened over the course of the past few months. When you looked up at his expressionless face, you were internally scared that he would be angry with you, the silence after your confession driving you crazy, but thankfully he wasn’t. The only thing he did was sigh at your pleading face and then thumb your cheek.

“Perhaps I’ve been too harsh on you. I do remember how you liked to talk to others back then,” he hummed, which was the complete opposite of his younger self. You buried your head in his chest and looked up at him with imploring eyes. 

“So can he come over again?” Of course, Dottore’s first instinct was to reject this proposal for he didn’t want that fool to be even six feet near you, but the helpless expression you were giving him made him waver.

“I shall… think about it.” That was enough for you as you kissed him on the cheek. “At least it wasn’t the Third or the Ninth. They would be insufferable.”

“Those are the other people you always complain about,” you giggled.

“Yes, but you needn’t think about them. They won’t be coming around here anytime soon.”

Unfortunately for Dottore, it was already too late.

A few days later, there was another knock at your room door. It was almost comical at this point, you thought when you saw a young woman with numerous white accessories and a man as tall as Dottore wearing an unreadable smile at your door. Hell, you should just host a sleepover at this point.

“Well, it seems that Childe didn’t lie after all. Now I know who Dottore spends my precious Mora on behind my back,” the smiling man seemed more amused than angry if anything. Oh, so this was the guy who funded Dottore…

“You know, it was quite a challenge to get here, dear [Name]~ It’s not that easy distracting so many segments.” The girl also seemed amused and giggly. Both of them had their eyes closed with only smiles… it was an odd combination that worked.

“Um… are you Miss. Columbina and Mr. Pantalone by any chance?” You managed to piece together the names and rankings by paying more attention to the segments’ rants. The two most “nosy and annoying” people that Dottore has the displeasure of working with, apparently.

“Why, did you hear that, Lone? They know our names already! Perhaps our dear Dottore has been talking about us more than we think,” Columbina laughed, treading her fingers through her long hair, to which Pantalone chuckled along.

“Indeed, though I wonder what kind of tales he has told this one. [Name], may we come in?” The banker tilted his slightly to the side, and you had no reason to refuse. You just hoped Dottore wouldn’t be too mad. (Poor him, his dear darling being corrupted by the likes of the Damslette and Regrator. Oh well.) 

Regardless, the three of you hit it off immediately. The conversation flowed naturally, a lot of it being stories of Dottore that you had no clue about. You were surprised by how naturally everything came. Of course, the two powerful people still largely had their guards up, but it was still… nice. Fun. Perhaps the Harbingers have a little more humanity in them than most people think.

Columbina found herself around you the most. You were surprised at first - she was the Third Harbinger - surely she had much more important things to be doing besides hanging out with you. But she always laughed airly, reassuring you. She had known Dottore for a long time, she said, but never knew about you. And she would like to learn more about her newfound friend. Especially to see the annoyed expression of The Doctor when she steals too much of your time. (She loved to irritate him.)

Pantalone valued your intelligence. For some reason, he began asking you for your opinion in matters, nothing confidential of course, but still, it was notable. You were no Dottore, but the difference was that you were always willing to assist, much unlike The Doctor and his segments. And, you were greatly helpful in deciphering the confusing words of the segments and Prime himself, so Pantalone ended up taking a strange liking to you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were useful to him and his endeavors, or if he just found you amusing, or if he genuinely thought of you as a friend or just probably just an acquaintance, but no matter the reason, it was… nice to be around him every now and then. So long as Dottore wasn’t there. Otherwise, the calmness would quickly become tense instead.

Childe too, was like a little brother to you. You didn’t know why you felt that way, but you just did. He was arguably the most “normal” out of all of them (as normal as a Fatui Harbinger could be) and he was just… pleasant to be around. He was knowledgeable in the more “ordinary” aspects of life, having his own family which he loved dearly. You liked that about him. It felt silly talking to Dottore about such simple things, but not with Childe.

At the end of the day, your friends made you happy. Whether it made Dottore and his segments happy, seeing these three idiots invade the lab more often than they liked, was something you already knew the answer to. But your lover wouldn’t do anything too harsh. Not when you looked so joyful from this. So perhaps this was a small price to pay, considering how miserable you looked in the beginning.

And really, you always would belong to him, after all. Nothing would ever come in between.

—

“Though not everyone liked the butterfly. In particular, there was a fierce cat that always seemed to swipe at them whenever the two met.”

The Balladeer was someone whom you were used to seeing in the lab every now and then. You didn’t really care much for him in all honesty, but he certainly had taken some kind of interest in you, at least enough to say some not-so-nice things to your face. The puppet had seen you with the clones, with the Doctor himself, and the adoring looks you sent to them… he was disgusted by the notion of love to say the least, especially between you two but… he was intrigued. Scaramouche wanted to at least have a glimpse into the person who would make the Doctor leave in the middle of his beloved experiments to check on.

What he found was nothing spectacular. You were so fragile, even frailer than the young child he met all those centuries ago. You were weak, so weak. In fact, even an insect would be harder to kill than you. Useless too, he thought, and it was as if you knew it too because he’d see you beg the clones to just give you something to do, something to occupy your hands and mind. And… he found the personality and looks of all humans to be unexceptional so that didn’t help your case either. Scaramouche was practically convinced you were nothing more than a source of amusement for the Doctor, the doting only a form of his usual cruel manipulation. Again, you didn’t care for his theories, but his voice did grate on your ears.

Though, this time, the Sixth Harbinger had caught you on a bad day. There was no particular reason why you were having a bad day. It was just one of those days, where everything seemed to bother you. Not to mention you felt your illness was acting up more than usual… going on a walk around the lab’s endless corridors always seemed to free your mind up though.

Though of course, you were accustomed to things not going your way.

“Well well, look who we have here. The Doctor’s little plaything,” Scaramouche mocked. Oh, it was just your luck. Out of all the deserted halls, he had to be in this one. You decided to try and simply ignore his words, yet in an instant, the Harbinger was in front of you.

“I really don’t see what he sees in you,” he narrowed his eyes at you. “What kind of amusement does he use you for?”

“... I would appreciate it if you left me alone.” Scaramouche scoffed in response.

“Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but the Doctor has no capacity for feelings or emotions. Anyone close to him will meet a nasty end. Do you really think you’re any different?” The Balladeer smirked.

“...” Normally you would just turn a blind eye, but you were just so annoyed with everything today.

“What’s wrong? You’re usually so lively and talkative-”

“Look,” you finally interrupted, “just because you’re pissed with the world doesn’t mean you have to bother me with your delusions,” you snapped, fed up with his bickering with you. Hell, your life was no sparkles or rainbows but you didn’t go around making everyone miserable because of it. “At least my lover didn’t abandon me for crying, unlike someone else’s mommy.” It was only after the words had come out of your mouth that you realized what you said.

For a few seconds, there was a tense silence in the corridor. The expression on the puppet’s face made you stiffen. Oh fuck.

“How dare you, you insignificant-” Before the Balladeer could hurl any more insults at you, a stern voice interrupted him.

“I suggest you speak to them in a more respectful tone, Scaramouche.” The sudden intrusion made both you and Scaramouche jump. Neither of you had sensed the Doctor’s presence, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere as he loomed over Scaramouche. “Any further language will not be tolerated.”

For a split second, Scaramouche froze but quickly regained his usual demeanor, his ever-present scowl and balled fists returning. “Whatever,” he flipped around mumbling some more curses under his breath, the back of his hat swaying with every movement. In no time, it was just you and Dottore in the hallway, and he was staring right at you.

“How long?”

“Well-” you were going to try and blow it off as nothing important but the look he was giving you made you realize that he wouldn’t take that as an answer. “A w-while now,” you admitted. Dottore was silent for a few moments before he spoke.

“He will be dealt with accordingly,” Dottore promised as he cupped your cheek.

“...Okay,” you murmured, leaning into his touch. You knew that this wasn’t exactly right. You knew that later today you’d hear the screams of the puppet echoing throughout the lab. But as the warmth of Dottore’s hand permeated your cold skin, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

—

“The butterfly’s life seemed to be going well. A partner who loved them along with multiple segments. Friends who spent time with them. But in reality, life was much harder and dim for them than they outwardly showed sometimes. In fact, the butterfly found themselves plagued by dreams. They weren’t nightmares, but when they woke up, it certainly felt like one. Or when they did have genuine nightmares, they felt the same unease and wept about their unfortunate situation.”

Ah. Nahida was at this part of the tale. Though she would always disapprove and be the enemy of you and the Doctor, the kind God couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy for you. In all of her wisdom, even she had no information of your illness. Not to mention your loneliness… she too, was lonely once, when she was trapped all by herself in the Sanctuary. But at the very least, she was able to visit others through dreams.

You, on the other hand, had no such escape. Trapped forever in your own body, with not much to be done… your own dreams serving as torment instead… how tragic, Nahida admits. But nonetheless, the Dendro Archon gets herself ready to continue the fairy tale she’s crafted.

[findafight]

how do you think a Stobin body swap would go down? (any season/scenario/au you fancy)

definitely depends on era!

pre s1? Screaming. chaos. yelling and panic. Robin is having a crisis about somehow being in the body of her nemesis. Steve has no idea who he is and that is freaking him out.

post s1? same for robin, but Steve is like ahhhhh what the fuck? ok this sucks but at least I'm not dying? not the weirdest or scariest shit to happen to him. it's not a monster trying to kill him? so it's mostly fine. He should probably tell nancy though. Also robin is mad because she would absolutely blame steve lol.

post s2? (I'm not even going to delve into during a season really because. that complicates things so much.) depending on when, if steve's still beat up robin may take pity on his pathetic sadboy self. She'd also be pissed because now she has to deal with a concussion. Steve is like woah. heart: still broken. Life: getting weirder. Head: no longer concussed! should probably figure out how to not be in someone else's body though!

pre s3? hilarious. they're coworkers. robin blames steve for this. they are scooping ice cream. dustin's there and robin is like listen i am NOT your babysitter I am just in his body. look over there. do you think that's me? Robin? spinning the scooper? no. go to him with whatever you have.

post s3 they wake up and are like huh. hm. this is a pickle! and steve is like what a fucking second i am NOT going to highschool again!! that's the biggest issue they have. Robin says she's gonna make him look bad in front of babes. steve threatens to flunk robin. They barely question it though. very much a "ah. well. this makes sense. may as well happen" they want their bodies back but aren't particularly fussed about it.

at no point is gender an issue they stole that from each other a long time ago without realizing it.

[hornedqueenofhell]

Steddie Sick fic pt. 2

Pt 1

“Eddie!” The kids shrieked as they all ran to the unconscious Dungeon Master’s side. Dustin knelt down and reached for Eddie’s forehead, yanking it back seconds later. “Shit he’s burning up.”

“He’s sick.” Gareth huffs as he helps the kid shift Eddie onto his back. The metalhead’s breath is rattling in his chest and he’s covered in a layer of sweat.

“Why didn’t he cancel then?” Lucas asks, looking at the older kids.

“Because he’s a stubborn ass who doesn’t know how to ask for help.” Gareth turns to the others, “Can one of you get him home?” His mom had the car tonight.

“Jeff rode with me and we still have all those stupid boxes of my dad’s shit in the back.” Frank said with a shrug, “Besides he probably shouldn’t be alone if he’s sick man, you know Wayne works nights.”

“Okay but we can’t take him and what are the kids going to do, strap him to their handlebars?”

That caused all the kids to glance at each other before turning to Will, “Is Jon still coming to get you tonight?” Mike asks.

“Yeah, and I know he doesn’t have a shift tonight.” With that settled Dustin gets up and goes to his backpack. He pulls out a walkie talkie and after fiddling with it a moment he starts speaking.

“Steve, Steve come in, over.”

Steve? How was Steve Harrington going to help here?

“I’m heading out the door Henderson don’t worry, you guys ended early tonight.” Dustin normally would ignore Steve until he used proper radio etiquette but Eddie took precedence. And besides, Steve’s little ‘secret’ isn’t so secret when he leaves his books open on the Family Video counter.

“Actually we need your help, over.”

The response was immediate and tense, “Code red help?”

“No, no, leave Lola in the trunk. Eddie is sick and passed out, no one else can help him.” Dustin turned back to Eddie who now had a wet rag on his head courtesy of someone.

“Who’s Lola?” Jeff asked the other kids who just rolled their eyes, except Will.

“Steve’s melee weapon, he named her Lola.” Well that cleared up exactly nothing.

“Because you have lifeguard training dumbass!” Dustin says, the others having missed Steve’s reply.

“Lifeguard certification does not equal a doctorate Dustin! What about his bandmates, why can’t they take him?”

Huh, Steve Harrington knows they exist, and not just in a they’re also in Hellfire kinda way. This day just gets weirder and weirder.

“No one has a ride or space available. Please Steve, he’s got a bad fever and his breathing is really shallow. There’s no one at home to keep an eye on him.”

The line goes silent for almost a minute and a half before finally crackling to life again, “Low fucking blow Henderson,” The ex-jock hisses out, “I’ll be there in five. Who is taking you brats home?”

“We’re going to bully Jon into doing it. Thanks Steve.” He shuts the walkie off and puts it away before going back to Eddie. 

The older man had sort of regained consciousness by now but whatever he was mumbling wasn’t coherent. Seems he’d gone delirious from the fever.

Less than five minutes later, Jesus had Harrington floored it all the way here, the old King of Hawkins High strode through the drama room doors. He ruffled Dustin’s hair before quickly going to Eddie’s side. After also checking his temperature and his pulse the brunette turned to the band.

“Has he had anything to eat or drink today?”

The other two shrugged and turned to Gareth, “I gave him some water and crackers at lunch since he didn’t have any food with him, also brought him some tea before we started tonight. I don’t know about anything else.”

“Okay, thanks man. Dust,” He pulls out his car keys and hands them off to the other teen, “Get the back door open for me please.”

The kid runs out to do as requested, Steve turns back to the other kids, “If you haven’t yet, let Jon and Nancy know what’s happening. I don’t want one of you stranded here while I get Munson settled.”

Lucas nodded and went to do as the older boy asked. The Coffin boys knew Steve was a babysitter/overbearing sibling figure to the kids, the way they sang his praises, but this felt like a commander giving orders and everyone followed them like their lives were on the line. It was weird.

“Give my best to your families, I’ll be there for Saturday dinner kay?” He pats Will’s shoulder fondly and then turns back to Eddie.

“Okay Munson, are you with me enough to hold onto me?” Steve coaxes Eddie’s arms into looping around his neck, he’s not expecting one to immediately curl into his hair and tug weakly. Whatever face Steve made as he held back from making any kind of sound besides a pained grunt seemed to amuse Eddie greatly as he started giggling.

“Yes, yes you’re very funny.” Sighing, Steve digs his arms under Eddie and scoops the metalhead into his arms. Eddie lets out a very soft ‘whee’ in response as he’s lifted and his head tucked into Steve’s shoulder. There’s a small smile teasing the corner of Harrington’s lips. He stands and makes sure Eddie isn’t about to fling himself out of Steve’s arms before he starts walking back out to the parking lot. The rest of the group scrambles to pack their shit away and follow after them.

Pt 3

[suzukiblu]

Day two NaNoWriMo; obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

"Well, you are the plan guy," Kon says, grinning again and pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. "Supreme?" 

"Works for me," Tim says. It's meat and dairy and bread and vegetables and Kon is probably invulnerable to heart disease, so he figures that's basically health food to him, right? Especially if he needs more calories than the average guy. 

Pizza's sure as shit gonna be more satisfying than a protein bar, if nothing else. 

Tim's definitely ordering like, breadsticks or wings or something too. And maybe a two-liter or two. Cinnamon bread. Something. Hell, he'll buy all that and then some if he has to. He's got the money. 

Who the hell decided it was okay to let this happen? Really. Is there literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation? Dubbilex was made by Cadmus too and has his own issues with managing to have an out-of-lab life, Rex Leech is apparently out of the picture, which might be a blessing anyway, Tana Moon is equally MIA, and Superman has apparently lost his entire damn mind, so . . .

There's literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation, is there. There's no irresponsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation. As far as Tim knows, every single other one Kon knows is either Cadmus-employed or a supervillain or just completely uninvested in his existence. 

Maybe Tim should be talking to Red Tornado about this. Is this something he should be talking to Red Tornado about?

. . . sure, that'd help. Red Tornado is about five minutes back into being a person and has Traya and Kathy and the whole team to worry about, and absolutely could handle something like this while also trying to figure out his own shit and keep an eye on all the rest of them too. Sure. That'd work. 

This is a problem, Tim thinks. 

This is a definite problem, in fact. 

He has no idea what to do about this problem, though, so he just orders a truly inadvisable amount of pizza and wings and double-iced cinnamon bread for pickup. They've done weirder than get takeout in the Super-Cycle and they'll do weirder again. Besides, it could use the . . . exercise, or whatever that counts as. Not like the Super-Cycle has muscles, but it does get tired sometimes and seem to appreciate getting out and–well, whatever. That's just something to figure out later, probably. 

Tim really should figure that out, though. And also if the Super-Cycle is gonna be down for going supervillain, because yeah, that's obviously a thing to keep in mind. 

He flies it to the pizza joint, and spends the flight casually grilling Kon about his coworkers and employee benefits and the Cadmus security systems. The answers are: a lot of lab-born clones and too many grown-ass adults who have no excuse not to know better, work-related health care and nothing else, and Kon and Guardian, mostly. And also some random weird death traps and a couple of cameras here and there, apparently, but it all sounds incredibly dated to Tim's ears and it really seems like Kon and Guardian are taking on the lion's share of everything more complicated than watching a feed or flipping on an alarm system. Like, it really does. 

So that's not great. 

"Jesus, man, how much did you order?" Kon snorts with a laugh while Tim's paying the girl at the drive-up window in cash. He doesn't really want to explain this particular expense on the Bat credit card. Generally he doesn't want to explain takeout and junk food on there at all, in fact, though obviously he makes a point of going to Batburger with Steph once a month, just to hear Bruce sigh about it later. Appropriate teenage nonsense and all. He gets the kids' meal and the terrifyingly purple Spoiler shake every time. It tastes like acidic cotton candy. Yes, literally. "Like just the whole menu or what?" 

"Of course I did. I've got a Kryptonian to carry it all for me, don't I?" Tim replies with a smirk he doesn't really feel after everything he's learned today. Everything Kon just told him, because he doesn't see what's wrong with any of it. 

It reminds him of the abused kids he meets on the job who insist they're fine, and they don't need Batman and Robin to save them. 

He wonders if Jason was like that, when Bruce first met him. 

He also wonders if he maybe did over-order a little on the pizza, but worst case scenario the leftovers should fit in the fridge. 

. . . maybe, anyway. Probably. 

Mostly? 

Kon immediately cracks into the cinnamon bread on the flight back because he has absolutely no manners whatsoever, and Tim rolls his eyes at him and tries not to visibly brood over the five-alarm fire burning down his brain right now. 

He just . . . doesn't understand how Superman is apparently just fine with this situation. He doesn't even understand how Kon is fine with this situation, but is increasingly certain that the answer to that might just be that Kon doesn't think he has another option. 

He doesn't have another option, as far as Tim can tell. What would he do, crash at the base and just mooch off everyone else for food and gear and whatever else he needs day-to-day? 

Yeah, not exactly a sustainable lifestyle, that. 

Not even a little bit of one. 

Technically, Tim could just pay for whatever Kon needed, between his allowance and his trust fund and without even taking his Bat-stipend into account, but there is no possible way Kon would ever actually go for that. He's way too proud, and even someone with no pride at all would probably find "please let me pay you to quit your horrible job" a hard pill to swallow from a teammate, much less the leader they only barely recognize the authority of.

[mylarena]

kicks feet. wolf shifter au but its just soap whos a shifter and ghost is a regular human who does not know that the weird wolf who keeps showing up at his little cabin/cottage in the woods is actually john from the repair shop in the nearest village.

either that or soap just isnt present in the village at all and spends a lot of time in the fuckin woods

but like. ghost is tending to his vegetable garden one day and feels keen eyes watching him, so he observes the area around himself subtly and theres a rustle in the brush so he zeroes in on that while he goes through the motions of weeding and watering and such. and eventually he feels the eyes on him leave. so he finishes his work and goes inside (made sure to lock the door that night)

he goes out again the next day to do his tasks and eventually feels the same gaze on him. but he just pretends he doesnt know something (someone) is watching him and continues his work. eventually they leave again, and he continues on.

this happens a few more times, then one day he can actually see the eyes in the bushes. he makes eye contact, holds it until the other pair of eyes blink, then continues with his business (never turning his back to the creature)

and sllloooowly over time, the creature inches its way out of the cover of the bushes. and its the biggest fucking wolf ghost has ever seen in his damn life.

eventually the wolf just sits right outside the fence of his garden. and he starts talking to it. its not often he gets any kind of visitors out in the woods, and hes a bit of a Lone Wolf ™️ type so he doesnt really mind,,, but theres a fuckin wolf. right there. a huge ass wolf. and he starts making comments to it. which turns into full sentences, then one-sided conversations of whatever he thinks of.

then one day the wolf is inside the fence. with no evidence of how it got in. the gate is still latched, theres no holes in the fencing, no marks left from and kind of scrabble over the wood.

but the wolf is just There. Sitting. Waiting for him.

and hes apprehensive at first because theres nothing between him and this wild fucking wolf. but he goes about his day and the wolf just follows him around the garden, somehow managing to not trample a single plant (ghost sees how hes exceedingly careful to not even brush his tail against them. weird.)

by the time the sun is going down, he opens up the gate for the wolf to leave, and he just looks at him for a long moment, before ghost gestures his head for him to leave, and he does.

and the next day hes back in the fuckin garden

whats even weirder about the whole situation is the fact that the wolf engages in the conversations. not speaking words, but replying with barks and growls and whines and gestures, gestures that arent natural for a wolf, gestures that are human.

the wolf slowly inches his way closer and closer every day, eventually daring to sit right up against ghosts leg when hes taking a break. then he sets his head on his knee and looks up at him and pretty much fucking pouts until ghost hesitantly places a hand on his head. his fur is fucking soft. silky smooth, fluffy down his back, and soft as a fuckin cloud.

now that hes up close, ghost can see little scars and features that he couldnt from a distance. hes got nicks in his ears, a scar on his chin, one going over his eye, and one that looks fairly new down his chest.

some days the wolf (ghost just calls him "Wolf" in his head. he's not gonna name the fucker.) doesnt visit. ghost pretends it doesnt strike a bit of concern in him, forces himself to focus on his tasks instead of worrying about the animal.

hes a fucking wolf. he lives in the wild. he can handle himself.

what really concerns him, though, is when a harsh thunderstorm hits. its raining hard, the trees are thrashing violently in the wind, and the rumbling of thunder gets ever closer.

hes stuck inside, knowing better than to try and do jack shit outside when the wind is strong enough to take him off of his feet.

but for once he doesnt worry about his crops or the chair he keeps on his porch- he worries about Wolf.

again, wild fuckin wolf, can handle himself, but the weather is absolutely abysmal.

so ghost cant help but pace around, having forgone his usual reading after he couldnt focus on what the words on the pages were because his thoughts were consumed with worry.

the thunder is louder than ever, the lightning is absolutely blinding, and he can hear how the fence gate outside is swinging madly in the wind, having opened when the weather started growing worse. he cant hear his own breathing, the only thing he can hear is the torrent of rain and howling of the wind and his heart thumping in his chest. its a fucking wonder that he actually manages to catch the scratching at the door.

he freezes in his pacing, listening in silence for the noise to happen again, and when it does he all but rushes to the door and swings it open (the wind did most of the work, quite frankly.), and there. Wolf, soaked to the fucking bone, ears flat to his skull. ghost stares, Wolf stares back, and then theres a blinding flash of light and a deafening clap of thunder, and hes reaching out and dragging Wolf inside.

he struggles with the door for a moment, fighting against the wind, but gets it close and latched. he turns to the wild fucking wolf that stands in his actual fucking house, takes in the sight of his violent shivering and dripping pelt, and swears as he jolts into the motion of getting a towel or two to try and dry him off.

when he kneels in front of the dog, dropping a towel on his back and starting to ruffle his fur dry with it, he starts talking. talking about the shit weather, about the damage thats surely going to come to his garden, about his concern about Wolf himself, how worried he was. as he rambles, he takes note of the scratches and scrapes that hide under Wolf's thick pelt. theyre all small, likely from branches and other debris flying around while he made his way to the cabin.

theyre all small, except for a gash across the flank of his left hind leg. ghost can see the blood mixing with the rain water that pours off of him, but only realizes where the wound is when Wolf yelps when he tries to dry the spot.

he apologizes quietly, and quickly finishes drying him the best he can. he sits back on his haunches and takes in the sight of Wolf- his fur ruffled far more than usual, his blue eyes that are filled with exhaustion and lingering fear, the blood thats already starting to make its way down to the hardwood floor, and the way hes trembling like a leaf. he looks ready to fall down right there in his place. so ghost stands after giving the wolf a scratch behind the ear, and ushers him towards the crackling fire thats keeping the place warm. Wolf staggers over, managing to keep himself upright up until ghost finishes laying out a blanket on the floor for him, then practically collapses on it.

ghost heads to where he keeps his medical supplies, grabbing everything he thinks hes going to need to patch up Wolf (hes never treated an animals wounds before. hopefully it isnt too different from patching up his own). when he steps back into the room, he takes a moment to stare at the bizarre scene in front of him. a massive wolf collapsed right in front of his fireplace, eyes closed and chest nearly heaving, surrounded by ghosts neatly arranged living room furniture and bleeding onto one of his favorite blankets. shit, hes bleeding still.

spurred into action, ghost crosses the room in a few quick strides and kneels next to Wolf again. "hey," he whispers softly, watching Wolf open his eyes to look at him, "im gonna patch up your leg, yeah? might hurt a bit. ill be careful." Wolf simply whines softly, closing his eyes once more. ghost runs a hand down his side, then shifts to take a better look at his leg.

the wound isnt incredibly deep, but as he cleans it ghost can tell that itll need stitches. fuck, how is he meant to give a wolf stitches without getting his fucking face mauled off? Wolf had been docile and friendly ever since they met, but ghost also hadnt tried to poke him with a needle and thread before.

he cant just leave him without them, though. hes not keen on letting Wolf be injured and bleeding any longer than he needs to be.

"hey, Wolf," he reaches over and taps the side of Wolf's neck, "i need to stitch up your leg. are you alright with that?" ...as if a fucking wolf is going to know what that means. but Wolf lets out a whimper at his words and fucking nods at him, eyes still shut. alright then.

he prepares everything he needs, taking a look at Wolf's face and giving him a gentle scratch under his ear. "this is gonna hurt," he shifts back to look at the wound, "please dont maul me."

and Wolf doesnt. he whines and whimpers and growls a bit, baring his teeth and thrashing his head, but he never tries to attack ghost and he even keeps his leg fairly still. the whole process ghost whispers apologies, reassurances and praises. when he finishes, he wraps a bandage around the leg then sits back. "we're done now, its over." ghost looks over Wolf as he lets the tension in his body release, listening to his long, relieved whine as he goes limp. "you did good. thanks for not chewing my face off." Wolf simply huffs at him.

he stares a moment longer, but a loud hit of thunder breaks him out of it. he had fixated so intensely on Wolf that he had entirely tuned out the raging storm that was still going on.

he sighs and collects the leftover medical supplies, standing to put them away. instead of making his way back to Wolf's side, he decides that the wolf is probably hungry as all hell and heads towards his kitchen instead.

he prepares a quick, simple meal for himself and his visitor: reheated venison & vegetable stew, leftover from the night before. he carries two bowls back to his living room, crouching and placing one in front of Wolf. "here." ghost watches his nose twitch as he catches a whiff of the stew. the wolf doesnt open his eyes, though. "dinner, Wolf. i know youre hungry." Wolf opens his eyes and looks up at ghost pleadingly. "whats that look for? i cant exactly feed you myself. you need to sit up." Wolf whines at him imploringly. "no. i cannot feed you by hand, youre gonna have to sit up." Wolf downright groans, bracing himself before pulling himself up until hes propped on his front paws. ghost pushes the bowl closer to him. "eat up."

once Wolf sniffs at the stew, he practically lunges forward and starts devouring it. ghost stares with a raised eyebrow for a second, then turns to his own bowl and begins to eat.

they eat in silence- as silent as it can be with a hell-raising storm outside and the sound of a giant wolf gobbling down a bowl of stew. when Wolf finishes literally licking the bowl clean, he flops back down onto his uninjured side. ghost continues to eat, obviously not half as hungry as him. when he finishes, he picks up both bowls and takes them back to his kitchen. ghost takes a moment to place his hands on the counter and lean on it, running through the events of the past hour. theres a fucking wolf in his livingroom. an injured wolf. a wolf that befriended him over the past few months. a wolf he doesnt feel like he can kick out of his house without proper treatment.

he sighs and runs a hand over his face. hes too fucking tired for this shit. he feels unreasonably exhausted just from the excitement of this whole ordeal. he decides he can deal with the situation in the morning, after hes gotten proper sleep.

when he steps back into the living room, Wolf is asleep, chest rising and falling steadily as he breathes. ghost watches him for a moment before giving a heavy sigh. he grabs another blanket off of his couch and throws it over the wolf, hoping the fire doesnt go out overnight and cause Wolf to get cold. he makes his way to his bedroom, getting ready before throwing himself down onto his mattress and staring at the ceiling for a few moments before passing the fuck out.

he wakes in the morning to sunlight filtering through the window into his eyes. he groans and rolls out of bed, pulling a shirt on and stumbling out of his room. he only remembers that theres a fucking. wolf. in his living room when he steps into it. its a bit jarring to see that said wolf isnt there. its even more jarring to see a full fucking grown man asleep in the wolf's place, haphazardly spread out on the ground, nothing but the goddamn blanket to cover himself. ghost thinks he can see a peek of white bandages wrapped around his thigh. he takes a deep breath to center himself.

"what the fuck."

[polarspaz]

WerewolfLeonRE AU! (( Because F!@# me, apparently I can’t go a week without making another damn werewolf AU for some reason..!    ૮ ⚆ﻌ⚆ა  ))

What Leon doesn’t realize is that the dog he saved from the bear trap was in fact, not a normal dog, far from it. The so called dog is actually a wolf spirit that has lived the woods for eons, a supernatural creature that held some powerful sway over nature.

Leon’s mercy endeared the spirt, but his battle prowess with the El’Gigante impressed it as well. So when the battle is over and Leon gives the wolf a heartfelt thanks, the spirit decides right there to bless him with it’s ‘gift’.

Before Leon can act, the wolf lunges forward and bites into his neck. Leon bucks his arms underneath the wolf, who immediately lets go and allows Leon to throw it backwards. When Leon snaps around, his knife out ready to parry a follow up attack, the wolf is simply gone. Even weirder is that he felt teeth pierce his skin, but he looks, his shoulder bears no signs of wounds or blood.

Disturbed and confused, Leon brushes the event aside and heads off after Ashley.

Then twenty minutes later he’s throwing up the Plaga that had been residing inside his chest. The small thing lets out a pitiful whine as it dies in his puddle of vomit, much to the shock of Luis and to his own relief.

But like a creeping cold Leon starts to feel off. Smells and noises are becoming almost unbearably acute. The rancid smells of blood, rot, and mucus have intensified and Leon finds himself stopping to gag a few times and collect himself.

And damn, when were guns this loud? It takes way more effort than he would like to stop himself from full body flinching every time he fired his guns now. Yet it all comes to head when they get to the mines and he yanks Luis back, making the other man narrowly miss a knife aimed for his spine.

The ensuring fight with Krauser ignites a fire in Leon and suddenly he’s transforming. Both Luis and Krauser share a moment of sheer bafflement as they watch the agent morph into a 7 foot tall, snarling werewolf.

Leon, not really aware of what is happening, uses this opportunity to beat the ever loving shit out of Krauser, who escapes after, still utterly confused. 

Luis finds himself awkwardly standing there with panting beast, who looks at him sharply with it’s blue eyes. Neither of them move for a moment until Luis puts his hands up and smiles nervously. “Leon? You’re not gonna eat me are you?” 

Leon jolts at the sound of his name and looks down at himself before making a confused warbling growl. Then, within a few scant seconds he’s back to being a human again. 

“What the actual fuck is going on?!” Leon manages to ask after a moment, looking to Luis who honestly looks just as confused as he is....

[stevespookington]

role reversal au part 2! (part 1)

“What the hell!” Eddie shouted, pointing past Dustin at the TV screen. 

Dustin winced and raised his hands slowly, “Eddie, hey, uh… you want to come in and sit down?”

“Yes! We have a couch in the break room, how about you come sit down?” Robin chimed in from over Dustin’s shoulder. 

Eddie’s gaze darted rapidly from between the TV screen and the three of them standing there, Dustin’s hands were still outstretched in what probably was meant to be a calming manner. 

It was not a calming manner. 

“Okay, Dustin. Quick question, why should I stay here and more likely than you get involved with that?” Eddie paused to gesture at the TV screen, hand shaking. “When I could, instead, not?”

Dustin winced again and exchanged looks with the other two. He looked back at Eddie and let out a sigh, “Because it’s probably already too late, Eddie.”

“Dustin you know I am excellent at running away, it’s never too late.” Eddie couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. Steve fucking Harrington not only was at his drug stash this morning but he was also most likely the top suspect in a murder case.

“Eddie…” Dustin started, but paused when Robin put a hand on his shoulder. 

She looked over at him and Eddie froze, for Robin wasn’t just looking at him, but was looking into him. Like seeing like. “Hunt the freak.” Robin said quietly. 

Oh. Shit. 

Eddie swallowed shakily. Any reason to go after those who were different, Harrington might be the top suspect right now, but that didn’t mean it would stay that way. “That couch is sounding pretty good after all.”

Robin gestured to the back room before she crossed to lock the store door, flipping the sign to closed with a sigh. Eddie followed them blindly back into the break room, still not processing what was happening. Hunt the freak, played in a loop in his head. He sank down on the couch and buried his head in his hands, what the hell happened. 

Eddie looked up at the others, Robin was perched on a chair while Dustin had claimed the other end of the couch. The redhead leaned against a patch of wall, anxiety on every line of her posture. Max? Yeah, Max sounded right. Eddie paused, he had forgotten a very important detail, “Who died?”

Dustin winced again, before he exchanged a look with Max. “Max and I think it was most likely Chrissy Cunningham. We biked by Steve’s house before coming here and it was a mess, police everywhere. We, uh, saw someone get carried out and then we came here.”

Eddie froze. 

“She was pretty messed up yesterday, I ran into her in the bathroom at school and she did not look good.” Max continued before rubbing at her head, brow furrowed. 

Well shit. Eddie was supposed to have picked up Chrissy after the game yesterday. He had gotten out of Hellfire and she wasn’t there, but that wasn’t surprising, people bailed on buying all the time. He figured she had just got swept up after the game and gone to some after party. But not this…

He didn’t think she would have gotten murdered… Maybe if he had wrapped up the session sooner. Maybe if he had looked around more or had just given her weed after lunch instead of promising something harder. 

Eddie swallowed and tried to fight back the guilt swarming him. What fucking if. “Oh, well. Shit. Harrington did that? I thought you said he was okay now, Dustin? Not, uh, a murderer…”

“He’s not!” Dustin shouted, indignation showing in every line of his body before he repeated more softly, “He’s not.” 

Robin placed a hand on Dustin’s shoulder, “Eddie, there’s some weird shit that goes on in Hawkins, weirder stuff than you have seen before. The kind of weird shit involving monsters, but right now what we need to know is what you know and what Steve told you. I can promise you, Steve did not murder Chrissy Cunningham. I know Steve was a jerk back in school, but I swear to you, he has changed. And even back then, he was not going around murdering people.” She leveled him with a clear look, no bullshit, and continued. “Please tell us what you know.”

Eddie desperately wanted to know what shit they had gone through together that Robin Buckley, band geek, was so unwaveringly defending Steve Harrington. He also really did not want to find out first hand, but from the looks that all three of them were leveling at him, Eddie thought he might already be involved in their shit. “Oh, well. She wanted to buy some…” Eddie paused and glanced at Max and Dustin. “Stuff from me yesterday, but she didn’t show up after the game so I went about my night.” Eddie paused and looked down at his feet, hands clenched in his jeans, he had just left. He thought it was alright and so he just left. 

Dustin chimed in, “Wait, Steve was supposed to give me home after Hellfire yesterday… I thought his date had just gone really well, but maybe he ran into Chrissy there? Or something?”

Robin scoffed, “His date most likely did not go well, that dingus doesn’t know what the hell he wants.” Robin stopped herself before she could continue, her brief laughter at Steve’s date cut off as her face fell. “But I can mock him later, more important things now. Eddie what happened next?”

“Uh, well I this morning I went out to Reefer Rick’s place, I was supposed to drop off some cash and pick up some stuff. And out of one of the boats, out jumps Harrington. He looked really fucked up, not physically, just mentally really bad off. And well, I guess dead bodies would do that… he uh, roughed me up a bit. Well, just startled, I think? He didn’t actually hit me or anything, but then he paid me to come here and get a message to you all. Code Red?”

Eddie stopped as the others all inhaled suddenly, the anxiety in the room rocketing up. The three of them exchanged looks and Dustin cursed under his breath. 

Eddie hazarded a guess, “Code Red is bad?”

“Code Red is very bad.” Max said with a jerky nod.

That very much did not sound good and Eddie knew what he was good at, running away. “Well, that sounds, not great. I think it is time for me to be heading home…”

Robin winced and cleared her throat, “Uh, not a good plan. Sorry. But you are probably safer with us for one thing, from what I understand, although I have only really been through this once, things tend to get pretty gruesome after Code Red is called. But also, they are probably… well they are probably going to have you on the suspect list pretty soon.”

Eddie blinked in disbelief and shot Robin a flat look. “What.”

“Uh, the whole ‘freak’ thing?” Robin winced again, “But even without that, Steve hangs out with basically two people. Me and Dustin. I do band, but what does Dustin do…” She trailed off meaningfully. 

Eddie stared blankly at Robin as she made small hand gestures before it finally clicked. Shit. Dustin was in Hellfire, they were going to think that Steve was tied up with something with Eddie. 

Dustin stood up and moved in front of Eddie, a pleading look on his face. “Eddie, we can explain more on the ride there, but I need you to trust me. You are not going to escape suspicion on this and even without all of the stupid people in this town, the implications of Code Red means you probably are still in danger.”

Eddie was very good at running, thank you very much Dustin Henderson. But also… he hadn’t gone looking for Chrissy and maybe he could have saved her from whatever this Code Red worthy thing was. A monster by the sounds of what Robin had said earlier? It sure as hell sounded like he was already going to be a suspect in this mess.

And maybe he could actually save someone this time. Maybe he could help.

He would much rather run away from this whole mess, but it sounded like it was too late.

Towards danger it was instead.

[whxre-bxby]

Could you do a recoms x recom!reader where all the guys suddenly go into heat (?) at the same time and reader is like 'oh shit' and tries to run but they catch and Fuck her?

Kinda like cursed by blue but then with reversed roles lol

Yes my lady, here it is

F. Recom Y/N x Recom Lyle, Mansk, Prager, Lopez, Ja

"Get It Together"

Masterlist

Summary: read the ask :)

Warnings: smut, tiny bit of angst and fluff, cursing, non-con, breeding kink, mating, heat cycle, unprotected sex, oral sex, penetration

Word Count: 4085

A/N: sorry that the uploads are slower, I'm busy and losing motivation just a little. I've also revived my Harry Potter obsession

Today felt weird. Weirder than usual. Waking up in an Avatar is already odd enough, but something seemed even more different today. The team seemed different. 

Quaritch is desperate for you all to help him successfully find and kill Sully, so you’re back in the forest again. The Deja Blu squad seems to be spending more time outside than anywhere else. But you’re not complaining. To you, the world of Pandora is beautiful. You’re not as afraid of it as before. Probably because you’re no longer human. But that’s your secret. You’re scared to find out what would happen to you if anyone found out you like this planet and its nature. 

The Colonel split the squad into two groups again. He led his team while Lyle led yours. Lyle was ranking second highest out of all of you, so he was put in charge. He’s leading the way through the large leaves and past the hundreds and thousands of trees. Behind him, Mansk is following. You’re after him. Trailing slightly behind you is Lopez along with Prager and Ja is watching the back. 

You were pleased with this group because you all got along well. But today is different. No one is talking. You’ve tried to initiate a conversation multiple times but they either don’t listen or just nod and hum in response. Even Lyle has his mouth shut today. Not a soul seems to be in a good mood, so you decide not to push it. There’s no need to start an unnecessary fight. 

“You always wear that?” someone says behind you, suddenly breaking the long-lasting silence. 

You recognise Lopez’s voice and when you turn around you see that he is looking at your lower half. 

“The shorts?” you ask while continuing to walk. He glances up for a split second before fixating his gaze on your shorts once more. His head nods. 

“No. It’s just warmer today.” you answer him, not thinking anything of his question. Maybe he didn’t even know the RDA provided shorts. 

‘Fuckin’ right it’s warmer.’ Lopez thinks, wiping his hand across his forehead. It was warm but the temperatures here never reached the high of making their Avatar’s sweat. He doesn’t know what’s going on with him and why his body temperature seems to be through the roof, but he notices he isn’t the only one. Lopez had vaguely scanned the others and everyone seemed to be struggling. Everyone except for you. And he doubted it was because you’re wearing shorts. 

As you keep walking, you can feel Lopez’s stare on your body. It never leaves and when you look over your shoulder, he doesn’t seem to notice or bother to hide it. 

“Can you not?” you ask, making him suddenly lock eyes with you again. He looks confused. “I can feel you looking.” 

Lopez internally curses himself for being so obvious. He didn’t mean to, but his judgment is not trustworthy today. His ears occasionally ring and his mind seems to go blank. Especially when he looks at you. 

Prager lightly punches his shoulder, seeming to tell him off through actions.

“What’s he doin’?” Lyle asks, calling out his words from the front. You open your mouth to reply but Lopez quickly intervenes. 

“Nothin’.” he says, making Lyle turn around and cock an eyebrow. 

His words make your ears tip back. He never acted like this. 

“Walk in front of me then.” you say, stopping so that he can overtake you. 

Lopez shakes his head, taking your arm and pulling you along. 

“So that Prager can get a look? No way.” he scoffs and Prager glares at him. 

“The fuck does that mean?” you ask, pulling your arm from his. 

Mansk had turned around and saw how Lopez held you. It pissed him off too. 

“Keep walkin’.” Lopez says, avoiding eye contact. 

“What is up with you, today?” you ask with a small chuckle. 

But not even Lopez knows how to answer that. His behaviour is confusing him too.

You shrug it off, continuing to follow Lyle and Mansk. Many minutes go by in silence and you think that things have returned to normal again. 

They haven‘t. 

In the next few seconds, you feel your tail brush against something. Assuming it‘s a plant, you don‘t bother checking. But then it happens again. And again.

Finally, you turn your head and see Lopez much closer than expected. It gives you a little fright. 

“Shit-“ you gasp, inhaling deeply to calm down. “Lopez, what are you-“ 

“Look at her tail.” He exclaims, interrupting you and taking your tail into his hand. Ja walks up next to him, looking down at it. 

One of his hands is holding its middle while his free one caresses the tip of your tail, examining the soft hair coming out. You’ve also noticed that yours was longer. And your stripes continued all the way down. Everyone else had their tail partly shaved. 

“Check out the stripes.” Ja chuckles, watching the odd pattern of so-called stripes spiral up your tail until their eyes reach its base. The rest is covered in clothes.

“Yours are different from ours.” Lopez murmurs and you stop walking, trying to snatch your tail away but they won't let you. Both of them are still looking at where your tail ends and you don’t understand why they’re so fascinated by it. 

“What’s it look like?” He asks, looking up at you with a shit-eating grin. Your eyes go wide at his bold question and you frown. 

“Doesn’t concern you.” You snarl. What’s under your clothes is none of his business. 

“Hey!” Lyle calls from the front. He and Mansk both turned around, watching the interaction before Lyle felt like he needed to step in. “Let ‘er be.”

Lopez meets his eye, staring him down for a few extra seconds before scoffing and letting go of you. Once free, you’re being touched again. Lyle is guiding you by your shoulders to the front, not wanting Lopez around you anymore. 

You just go with it, assuming he has some kind of plan. At the end of the day, you trust Lyle with your life, so you don’t question his decisions. 

While walking away, you feel Lopez’s and Ja’s fierce eyes on you. Behind them you can hear Prager panting and nothing seems to make sense anymore. 

You keep walking and you hear Lyle faintly call them both insulting names under his breath before he stretches his arm around you. He starts by throwing it over your shoulder and your walking pace stutters. Mansk is keeping a close eye on what's happening, as is everyone behind you. He doesn’t want Lyle crossing the line either. 

But your presence and the close physical contact have Lyle under a sort of spell. It makes him crave more from you and within minutes, his arm is around your waist and he’s holding you to his side. You’re body tenses and you stop walking. Everything is so confusing you can’t even think straight.

Lyle looks back at you and your concerned eyes before Mansk grabs his arm and removes it from your body. 

“What are you doin’?” Lyle asks him, wanting to snake it around your waist again but you push it away. 

“No, what are you doing? All of you!” You shout, looking around. You’re about to exclude Mansk from the lecture you plan on giving them but you notice his pupils dilate and target lock on you. It makes you forget what you were about to say. Luckily you recover quickly.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you, but you need to sort it out right now so that we can focus on this mission!” You shout, folding your arms in front of your chest and glaring at all of them. 

There’s a few seconds of silence. As if they need extra time to let your words sink in. 

“All right.” Lyle growls. His voice is lower than ever. You want to nod and thank him for his agreement but the look in his eye tells you that you’re not both thinking of the same thing. 

You thought that maybe they all got in a fight and didn‘t want to mention it around you. But the dark hunger in his expression suddenly makes you feel like you need to escape. 

You don’t know why you feel the need to run when a part of you longs to be around them. 

Lyle is walking back up to you and his arm stretches out to grab a hold of you once more but Mansk once again intervenes. It seems as though his last functioning cell of common sense told him to help you. But right after he pushes Lyle’s arm away, he’s just as lust-blinded as the rest of them are. You see it in him now too. 

Which is why this time, you don’t hesitate to run. Your feet take off in the opposite direction and you’re sprinting through the forest. 

You hear Lyle growl at Mansk before your ears pick up the sound of hammering footsteps behind you. They seem to be moving faster than yours which surprises you because a human’s survival instinct is the strongest.

However, you’re not human anymore and neither are they. It seems as though your new bodies have a stronger instinct than just survival. 

Mating.

You’re fast, but unfortunately not fast enough. All weapons and tools have been dropped to chase you. They have to catch you by hand and force. The way nature tells them to. For once, they must give in to what their body craves and forget their human morals. 

But their rut doesn’t just affect them. Being around them, hearing them, smelling them, seeing them, and feeling them kickstarts hormones in your own body. Ones you were suppressing until you started running. Running and chasing are apparently common during heat-cycles so the instinct that told you to run is also the one that betrayed your mind and gave all power to your body and its needs. 

Lyle caught your arm, making you stumble and slow down. With his next step, he managed to wrap an arm around your middle and lift you off the ground but the sheer force of the turn had you both falling into the grass. 

You shriek as he spins you both around once before you hit the ground first with him falling on top of you. Immediately, you struggle beneath his weight, trying to crawl out from underneath him but you can’t move him. 

Suddenly, you felt like it wasn’t Lyle who was holding you down. You know it is, but he’s never growled and acted like this. It feels so foreign to you but then again, you feel your body doing things you would never do. 

Almost instantly his large hands start tugging your clothes off of you but for whatever reason, you lean against his touch. 

You’re still trying to hold on to your common sense, desperately attempting to not give in to his touch whereas Lyle is a lost cause. 

Your last spark of hope forces you to kick Lyle’s middle but he is unfazed. 

“Sorry- can’t help it.” he breathes out, pulling your shorts down your legs. Well, there you have it. You’re done for. Might as well enjoy it then.

The others have already caught up with both Lyle and you. Ja wanted to get closer but Lyle snarled at him, making him back off. You guess that since he has the highest rank in this team, he wants to go first. 

Lyle’s body feels strange to him and foreign. It’s overheating as well and the only answer to help him feel normal again is in front of him. His large hand comes up to knead the flesh of your ass before he’s hastily opening his belt and clawing at his pants. 

You know what to expect at this point. It’s inevitable really. There’s five of them and one of you. You can’t escape even if you manage to push Lyle off. And quite frankly, the longer you inhale his musky scent and feel him on you, the less you want to leave. It irritates you how easily your body is swayed by them but you can’t help it either. 

Lyle grabs the side of your underwear, hooking his fingers underneath it and literally tearing the fabric off your body. If you were in your right mind right now, you would have felt exposed. But no, you don’t even feel the need to hide from their eyes. In fact, their presence seems to make you more aroused. 

Suddenly ripping you from your thoughts is the feeling of Lyle pressing something right up against your entrance. Feeling its form, you straight away know what it is and without any hesitation, Lyle starts to push it inside you. He hisses as your walls clamp down on him, not seeming to be used to this intrusion. But it doesn’t stop him. The man is desperate for you and desperate for release. 

Within seconds he has bottomed out, holding himself inside you for an extra few moments to contain himself. But it’s no use. The second he starts to move, completely loses himself and his motions become primal.

Lyle doesn’t start off slowly either. He’s already harshly fucking himself into you while his fingertips dig into the flesh of your hips. You spread your arms slightly past shoulder distance to steady yourself while your hips push back against him. 

Everything suddenly feels sensitive and all his touches spark more excitement in you. Which is why Lyle knows he won’t last long. You feel too good and it’s been too long. 

“Fuck- so good,” he groans, wrapping his hand around the base of your tail to pull you back against him. Small whines and whimpers leave your lips whenever it feels like he is pushing the air from your lungs. 

“M’ gonna fill you up,” he grunts, speeding up his thrusts. You weren’t expecting any of this to last long, but you know that just because he’ll be done soon doesn’t mean you will. The other four men around you look even more interested in you than before. There is no way you’re leaving without having to go through each of them first. 

“Gonna make this pussy mine.” he growls, not stopping his rough thrusts until his hips stutter and you feel him spurt his cum inside you. You still your small rocking movements, taking all of him into you. His large hands are holding onto your waist while Lyle gathers himself. His problem seems to be cured for now. But the others are still very bothered by it, so the second Lyle pulls out, Mansk takes his place. He pushes Lopez to the side because he can’t wait any longer. 

Mansk falls to his knees behind you, immediately pushing your tail to the side to see your throbbing cunt. God, what a luring sight it is. Especially with Lyle’s cum slowly dribbling out. It just makes Mansk want to wash it out and replace it with his own. 

To your surprise, Lopez settles himself in front of you. You can hear Ja complaining but Lopez doesn’t care. Sure, he would much rather be where Mansk is but right now he’ll take whatever he can get. His skin is glistening in sweat and he just needs to feel you on him in any way possible. 

Mansk’s pants are gone faster than Lyle’s and he doesn’t even need to line himself up with your entrance to guide himself in. He’s so hard he just bucks his hips forward blindly while pressing his chest against your back. He feels his dick sink into you on his third attempt and it has him melting against you. Mansk is and has been desperate for this kind of relief for so long. The fact that it’s you he’s getting makes this so much better for him. 

Lopez has managed to free his aching erection from its restraints as well and is now panting while watching you stare at him. He can feel your hot breath fan against his bare skin and it causes his eyes to flutter closed. He never thought he could get this close to you. 

Mansk moves behind you, making your body jolt forward. Your cheek brushes against Lopez’s dick and you give up on staring. The sight has your mouth salivating. Not only are they all so big, but fuck he looks so needy. 

You turn your head, opening your mouth and licking up his shaft. He groans and you notice the goosebumps erupt on his skin. Lopez is so hard it hurts so he attaches his hand to the back of your head, hoping to encourage you to finally help him out. You obey his silent pleas and open your mouth wider to welcome his tip. His breath gets caught in his throat and he doesn’t exhale until you’ve swallowed down almost all of him. 

“Fuck, such a good girl,” he purrs his praise, gently rubbing your cheek before holding the base of your queue to help guide you along his dick. 

Mansk’s thrusts are already getting sloppy so you arch your back to give yourself to him, making it easier for him to reenter you. 

Then you focus on the heavily breathing man in front of you and decide to finally focus on him. You gulp around him, feeling his tip in the middle of your throat. Having something stuffed so far down your mouth is not a pleasant feeling, but seeing how it drives Lopez wild just gives you the equal pleasure he is receiving. 

You don’t need to move your head, he’s already pulling his hips back and slowly pushing them forward again for you. All you have to do is not choke and not let him feel your teeth. This gets twice as difficult when you have fangs but so far you’re succeeding. 

You flatten your tongue out and occasionally swirl it around him when he draws back. 

Both of them have sped up their thrusts and you feel Lopez’s dick twitch inside your mouth which lets you know that he won’t last much longer. 

Mansk is now hugging your waist and one of his hands digs into your thigh. 

You start to feel your own orgasm slowly build up but with the way they’re feeling, you know you’ll still need more time until you start feeling euphoric.

“Shit, take it.” Mansk growls, biting your shoulder while he humps you from behind, shooting his load into you just like Lyle. But you honestly don’t care about that at the moment. You even doubt whether your Avatar is fertile. 

Mansk is regaining his breath above you when Lopez hisses and throws his head back. His hips reflexively buck forwards and he covers your tongue in his cum, making it flow down your throat. You lick him clean after swallowing everything he gave you before gently pulling away. 

He smiles down at you, lightly tapping your cheek in praise before getting up. 

Mansk carefully pulls out, running his hand over your smooth back and humming appreciate before Prager is urging him to move. He listens. You display yourself for Prager byopening your legs and lifting your tail but he seems to have other ideas. The sight makes his stomach twist in excitement but he still turns you onto your back. You’re looking up at him and he flashes you a smirk before Ja interrupts your moment. 

“Seriously, what about me?” he asks, not seeming happy with the sudden position change. 

Prager’s ears flatten back against the sides of his head and he frowns at Ja. 

“Work it out.” he growls. Then his hands find your knees and he opens your legs for him. He wants to properly see you, not just use you. 

Ja huffs in annoyance before lifting your upper body and resting your back on his lap. Prager runs his fingers over your entrance, parting your lips before pushing some cum back inside you. His motions make you shiver and you roll your hips forward while Ja open his pants just enough to relieve himself.

Your body starts reacting to Prager's touch and you realise he’s helping you reach your high too. But since he’s having a hard time containing himself, he removes his fingers from inside of you and replaces them with his length. Suddenly, it feels so good. You’ve gotten used to the intrusion now and it’s becoming pleasurable. 

You turn your head to the side, noticing Ja trying to win your attention over. His dick is next to your face and at this point, you’re too tired and too unbothered to question anything. You just do. They’ve already seen all of you, you have nothing to hide anymore. 

You open your mouth for him just like you did for Lopez but right before you want to wrap your lips around him, a gasp leaves you. Prager has started moving inside you and the new angle and change of position have you enjoying all of it. 

Quickly, you fill your mouth with Ja’s length to prevent moans from slipping out. Those are still something that makes you often feel embarrassed. You know it’s stupid because usually, you want to be able to hear how you’re pleasing someone. But then again, you happen to be in a forest full of creatures that may not welcome you. So you don’t want to be screaming and crying on his cock (you do, but you won’t). 

Your head gets all fuzzy with how good Prager is treating your body. You feel so stimulated that whimpers and moans do leave your body. However, they’re muffled through Ja but the vibrations of it drive him wild. 

He’s been touching himself while watching you with Mansk and Lopez, so he feels like he will spill any second now. 

Prager is just diving into you at this point. His hand comes up to apply gentle pressure to your clit while his other lifts one of your legs onto his shoulders. Everything is good right now. You have no worries. 

“You gonna cum?” he asks, knowing you can’t reply with words. You frantically shake your head, slowly arching your back off the ground in preparation for your orgasm. 

He grins and his pace never falters. 

Behind you, Ja is a groaning mess. He’s just watching you struggle to angle your head for him but he can’t help you with that. He’s so close, you just need to continue for a few more seconds. You do and in moments following you hollowing your cheeks for him, his tail trembles as he cums. Some of it spills out onto your lips but you don’t mind. You just need cum yourself. 

Prager doesn’t stop, in fact he just slightly increases his touch on your clit and you cry out once before your legs tremble and your orgasm floods your senses. Feeling you clench down around him has Prager in pure bliss and he follows almost straight after you. 

What an odd scene this is. You hadn’t expected your day to go like this. 

Lyle comes to your aid while the two soldiers redress themselves. 

“You alright?” he asks but he can’t hold back the cheeky grin on his face. 

“Yeah-” you breathe out. “I’m just so done.”

He chuckles, handing you your shorts and helping you put them on.

“You fuckers, it’ll stain the cloth.” you mumble, knowing all the cum will just leak out of you for the rest of the day. 

“Don’t worry, you can get a refill later.” Lopez smirks as Lyle helps you to your feet and you punch Lopez’s shoulder. 

A loud sigh leaves your lips. 

“I can’t even walk back now.” you whine in frustration. 

“I’ll carry you then.” Lyle offers with a grin and Mansk smirks. 

“No, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” you say, realising you’re contradicting yourself. 

Mansk raises an eyebrow at you and you wipe your hand over your face. 

“I just like to complain.” you mumble, starting to slowly walk ahead. Your first few steps are wobbly, but you manage because Mansk and Prager walk next to you, letting you use them for support. Lyle leads the way again. 

He’s calling off the mission for the day. We just have to come up with some excuse as to what happened. 

Tag List: @ken-dala @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @numarusworld @number1gal @ikranwings @jatwow

[moonshynecybin]

#thinkin about teen dad marc…. like diplopia year…. <- say more callie

eye got. SIX asks about this lmao. but anything for you elle ofc. required reading on this is @yekoc’s vale knocks marc up in like 2013/14 post found here go read it (AND THE REPLIES !!! ). foundational text.

but in this one. vale is jerry springer voice NOT THE FATHERRRR. which i think would make his specific commitment issues significantly weirder and more complex. and marc MUCH more neurotic lmao. he has a baby to look after !!! AND he’s doing death defying stunts !!!

so marc either gets a girl pregnant and keeps the baby or gets knocked up and keeps the baby. choose your own adventure. he’s a teen. diplopia year cwaziness. fully like. i am injured and may never race again which i can’t fix instantly and easily so i’m going to HAVE THIS BABY. tries to #win at teen pregnancy. and marc is part of a VERY tight knit little family so once he gets better he absolutely carts that baby all around the world and inside the garage. (which. he comes back because he both wants to and HAS TO. marquez family finances already depended on him, now you add a tiny sweet infant into the mix that he is responsible for. marc is already psychotic about winning because of natural competitiveness and the aforementioned family pressures this would literally make him worse. crazier.) babychamp t-shirts new meaning. bouncing her on his knee in the box in 2012 BIG ASS baby ear protectors. santi very seriously explaining shit about tire pressure to the side. kissing her little cheek in parc ferme.

and vale. meets this baby/toddler. LOVES this baby/toddler. and as his relationship with marc takes shape it’s a little different! marc’s i’m old for my age complex is 9000x more pronounced but VALE’S i’m young for my age complex is toooooo… so it’s weirder. yes they start fucking but it’s also like. less often. less free time more baby time they don’t hang out at bars as much but every time vale sees marc he gets to hang out with a hot person he likes and sometimes he gets to be goofy for a leedle baby that he is RAPIDLY gaining affection for. marc leaves her with vale (HUGE TRUST. THE BABYSITTING LIST OUTSIDE OF FAMILY IS LIKE TWO PEOPLE.) when he goes to the bathroom and vale reaches over to grab her favorite toy (bugs bunny plush iykyk) without thinking and it’s like oh. oh no. like he spends enough time with her that he KNOWS HERRRR… doesn’t have the rigidity of the fuckbuddies dichotomy because they hang out so often WITH the baby so he can’t write the whole thing off as much. truly what do you do if you love and want to coparent a child. but are also exceedingly scared of commitment and growing older. well.

anyways vale is a freak so he turns that over in his head for a bit. scared 2 death. chews on that for a while. but when it really gets too deep for him is hmmmm ranch visit. when marc rocks up with his toddler (hot pink tiny bike for her that goes 1mph. baby pecco and luca and franky braiding her hair.) lethally adorable in a too big yellow vr46 hat that makes vale’s chest feel like RIBBONS.) and then marc races vale like he’s going to DIE. for NO reason. in a fun vibey recreational session. and vale’s fucking in it now!! every time marc takes a corner too fast his heart seizes up and marc’s daughter flashes in his brain (the baby curl of her hair and the way she reached for marc laughing from the crowd last race…) ans cold sweat breaks out across the back of his neck because if something happens to marc then—

so he pulls back. still waves to her in parc ferme. still makes stupid faces to make her laugh (feels like he’s FLYING. feels like WINNING.) and does grabby hands with marc on cooldown laps (eye ALSO think he doesn’t realize that his marc feelings are a separate entity for the baby feelings lmao. like that he would be worried about marc regardless. the baby is a good excuse here…) but. it’s interfering with his focus. he has to win his tenth. he can’t be coparenting this kid (she’s turning FOUR he’s been giving her bday presents for THREE YEARS NOW.) and worried about marc like that because marc is a competitor. and marc doesn’t feel that way anyways. marc is a bastard to him on track. marc is crashing all the time (WITHOUT VALE THERE. he hears about marc’s summertime hand injury and is like haha. and the baby was WERE. who is HOLDING HER??). and suddenly uccio is at his door and marc is a saboteur. and he’s getting older and he’s slower and jorge is GOOD and that’s— that gives something for vale to grab on to. to self destruct this before it can implode by itself. to make sense of all of this.

and afterwards— after sepang and their text thread drying up and everything. she still runs up to vale allll the time… finds him in the paddock tugs on marc’s hand until he lets her go… and vale always picks her up spins her around sends her back to her dad… still gets her a bday gift… marc watching with a sad smile on his faceeeee… vale DOES get over things faster in this universe because he wants to be more involved for babychild but. it’s rough there for a while when vale is still lying to himself and marc is creating RIGID structures for who he lets in to his daughter’s life because she STILL asks him to call vale so he can read the bedtime story because marc does NOT do the voices right… and he CANT CALL HIMMMM

[tennessoui]

Miss Kit as mistress of bikin aus how funny would it be if canon ahsoka tried to change events and ended up in a time period where obikin are adults and she's behind their first meeting only to discover they just immediately are Like That and want to bang. All your aus where they meet as adults and are Like That inspired me but I couldn't help thinking what poor canon ahsoka would make of her master and grandmaster being such openly horny messes around each other

ok lol BUT what if it’s like. Time traveler Ahsoka who like…..has an instant reset button a la Michael in the Good Place, and has gotten it in her head that the galaxy is really better off if Anakin and Obi-Wan never meet because even in the canon timeline and with a wife, anakin was weird about obi-wan & even with a whole Jedi order that he adored, obi-wan was weird about anakin

so it’s really for the best if they never ever even meet and Ahsoka is going to make that happen!! In her first attempt, she decides to save qui-gon so that he raises anakin as his padawan instead but that just makes obi-wan and anakin even WEIRDER about each other for some reason??? Anakin grows up wanting obi-wan’s approval more than anything else in the entire galaxy and obi-wan takes 2 different padawans just so he never has to go on missions with his old master and anakin, and the galaxy STILL falls apart

Reset button, ok. So. Ahsoka buys baby anakin and Shmi from slavery and frees them. Years later, she’s aghast as she watches smuggler Anakin cozy up to promiscuous slut Jedi Master Obi-Wan even though his padawan, a baby Ahsoka, is RIGHT THERE. After one night together in some backwater cantina, they become weird about each other AGAIN. Sidious finds Anakin because Obi-Wan “””reforms””” him and gets him a job in the Senate (so they can more easily carry on their stupid affair) and Sidious convinces Anakin that Obi-Wan could never really love him because he loves the Jedi Order too much….Anakin Falls, galaxy destroyed—RESET BUTTON

Ok. Ahsoka manipulates it so that Obi-Wan is sent to the Agricorps and not kidnapped and enslaved so he just becomes a farmer instead. Good. Safe. He’s happy or he will be — ok. Oh shit anakin gets sent to the AgriCorps because he’s too angry and untrainable and now he’s meeting Obi-Wan who recognizes himself in this angry teenager and takes him under his wing and shit, now they’re being weird about each other — RESET BUTTON

ok!!!! Ahsoka convinces obi-wan’s parents to not give him to the Jedi Order. Instead, he’s raised as…huh. Prince of Stewjon? Ahsoka didn’t know that but that explains so much about obi-wan’s innate bitchiness and haughty eyebrow movements. Fine, that’s ok. Anakin doesn’t like royalty—no never mind, anakin LOVES royalty how could she forget that anakin married a former queen??? It takes one Jedi mission for padawan anakin to be head over heels for prince obi-wan and then suddenly he’s taking every possible mission to Stewjon he can to convince obi-wan to sleep with him oh NO obi-wan keeps rejecting him but Ahsoka recognizes that fond twinkle in his eyes as being the same way he looked at anakin in the original timeline they’re being WEIRD ABOUT EACH OTHER AGAIN. RESET BUTTON.

ok. Ahsoka KIDNAPS baby anakin to raise by herself in the corner of the galaxy where obi-wan and fate will never find them. baby anakin’s first word is inexplicably “obi”. Ahsoka knows how this is going to go. RESET BUTTON.