#like what do you even do when someone is having intense hallucinations and you've never dealt with that before

[rin-hanarin]

There's something I really appreciate about Cloud Strife, and it's the fact that he's mentally falling apart half the time he's on screen. Like, people sometimes lose the plot because of 20 years of cameos and spin-offs, or love making him out to be this broody tough super soldier, or just straight up make a self insert out of him because they can't relate to him at all, but the fact that he's having all kinds of episodes every other game hour and it's not some cryptic subtext just speaks to me for some reason.

Cloud is this "legendary video game protagonist" and whatnot, but his actual story is so much more complex and choke-full of vulnerability and really down to Earth human weakness, amplified by a cocktail of all sorts of trauma and crazy alien influences. My guy is so not okay and is so messed up in the head he accidentally dooms the planet to a literal fiery death from a meteor strike, and it's just so different from what you might expect from him, considering how famous of a character he is.

I really respect the fact that he was written this way back in 1997, and the way his unstable, fractured sense of self is even more apparent in Remake series makes me really happy and really unsettled in equal measure. The OG game couldn't convey how bad it was within its graphics, but I think I managed to grasp what they were going for the first time I played it, and it is heartbreaking, with or without clear presentation attached to it.

[unhappy-last-resort]

Counting Minutes (Yandere Roland x GN Reader)

Warnings: Implied stalking, unstable grip on reality, bombing threat, abandonment issues, non consensual touching (basically a strip search, not in a sexy way)

A/N: Finally working through my drafts.

Status: edited

Where. The fuck. Are you?

Roland glowered at the digital clock on the wall the numbers 7:30 glowing into the dim room. Usually you'd have been here by now, tactical terminal in one hand and coffee in the other, but you're late.

Everything was already a drag when you weren't around to tease or observe, even more so since he had to sneak onto Babylonia and absolutely can't be found out so he's forced to stay within a more abandoned area of Babylonia.

He already fears that he may have alerted Lee on accident when he was exiting your room earlier this morning. What the hell was that bastard doing outside your room so early anyway? Did Lee also have a habit of watching his Commandant sleep, or was he suspicious of his presence? Roland heaved a sigh, honestly, you should be honored by his presence here, he wouldn't endure Babylonia and their lackeys just for anyone. The only thing that makes all his efforts worth it is you. Being able to hear you, touch you, watch you, see you, being able to confirm that you're real. That he's not lost himself to an insanity so intense he's hallucinating everything, that a camera crew won't jump out somewhere.

"Roland, Roland, Roland...how naive you are." Roland tenses at the familiar voice. Of all things, he doesn't want to have this talk now.

"Whatever do you mean, my dear Hermano?" Roland responds with a languidness that they all know is merely performative as he slowly leans onto the wall behind him and casts a side glance at the door. Just come here already, what's taking you so long? Did you sleep late? Are you in a meeting? Are you...

Hermano bursts into a small fit of laughter. The sound irritates the edges of his M.I.N.D. "Of course they'd sell you out! Why wouldn't they? You're enemies after all, they were always going to abandon you in the end."

Roland's fists clench, anger coming over him so strongly it's almost shocking to him. No, no, no, no! You can't, you wouldn't! You would never do such a thing! You were too loyal to those morals of yours to back stab him like this, but... if you did, would it truly be such a surprise? Would it be that shocking if you did? After all, capturing him would give you a great amount of fame and power in Babylonia. Slowly, his hand reaches down to his coat pocket, the familiar square shape of that small remote in his palm as the room starts to feel almost suffocating.

Roland stills suddenly and he smiles, a chilling clarity surging through his M.I.N.D. like a tidal wave clearing away the filth. Well, then...if you're going to betray him like this, he slowly brings the remote out of his pocket and holds it to his face as his smile widens. Then no one will be opposed to him setting off the bomb he put in Babylonia's engine systems, no? To be fair, he has warned you a number of times to not betray him. Whether you understood them or not, well, that's not his problem now is it?

His thumb brushes over the detonation button in contemplation. Yes, he may as well before he gets caught and used for Babylonia's-

Click.

His breath hitches and his eyes immediately stare at the door, pointedly ignoring Hermano's scoff. Could it be that you've finally returned to him? His mechanical heart thrums at the thought, his grip on the remote becoming shaky and weak as seconds turn into hours. Would the door open to you, or an army? Will you betray him like everyone else, or will you stay? He hated to admit it, but he was desperate that it was the latter, he was desperate for something- someone that wouldn't abandon him and leave him floundering in an endless sea of regrets.

If fate was listening, grant him this one thing and let it please be you, please be you, please be-

The door opens to you, with your tactical terminal in one hand and fresh coffee in the other, just like how you look every morning, you're too busy studying your terminal to notice how your entrance has shifted every star in the universe back to their place and made everything right again. You're here, you're here at last in this little side room you've made your temporary office, you're here with him where you belong and you're real...you're real, right?

His body starts moving before he can stop himself, his breath lodged in his throat. He has to know, he has to confirm you are what you say you are and not just a cheap copy made by some invisible puppeteer. He yanks the terminal out of your hand, knocks your coffee away and drags you to him, terminal clattering to the floor and the mug shattering just after it, spreading coffee and ceramic everywhere as you voice your confusion. He wraps his arms around you tightly, too tightly, his hands moving all over your body, needing to confirm that you are made of flesh and bone as you claim. He slips his hands under your shirt to squeeze at your ribs, pushing just enough at the bone to feel it give slightly as it should, he buries his face in your hair and neck to make sure you smell the same way you should, he pries your mouth open to shove his fingers inside and thoroughly check your mouth for anything that might feel synthetic or mechanical, he shoves you against a wall so he can put his ear against your chest to count your heart beats, all these checks and more he conducts not even so much as responding to your cries for him to stop, opting to clamp a hand over your mouth when you become noisy enough to distract him.

After an hour of invasive and painful poking, he finally feels certain that you're human and real, with a sigh he lets you go and relaxes. Roland stares at you for a moment, observing your disheveled appearance, emotion absent from his face. Your commandant attire has been thoroughly picked apart. Your navy blue turtleneck is wrinkled and pulled unnaturally in several directions, the beige coat having been discarded long ago, your buckle is probably somewhere on the floor behind him, the fly of your pants hanging open. If he wasn't so upset with you he'd help put you together again. "Don't be late like this again." He mutters coldly before turning to stand at his usual spot beside your makeshift desk, leaving your dumbfounded and agitated expression behind.

For a few seconds, there's silence. The anger radiating from you is palpable in the air. "What the fuck are you talking about? Late? It's 6 AM? If anything I'm late because of you and your freakish strip search." Roland freezes in his place. Six? But that would mean when you arrived it was five.

Seeing his confusion you grumble and walk up to him, shoving your watch in his face with a look of disdain. The LED numbers stare back at him coldly.

6:04 AM.

Your expression remains unimpressed at his stunned countenance. Dropping your wrist you glance at the clock on the wall. "The clock in here is broken, that's why I started wearing my watch again."

You were indeed, not late. For the first time in a very long while, Roland feels humiliated. He even almost apologizes to you before stopping himself. If a simple misunderstanding is enough to break him, then he might as well give you another warning. A wide grin quickly replaces whatever apology he was going to say before.

"Well then, little rabbit of mine," Roland leans down towards you, his tone was taunting but a glance at his eyes would tell you the true weight of his words. "You'd better make sure you don't keep the wolf waiting for too long. Who knows what might happen if you leave a hungry wolf unattended."

[l1tw1ck]

Secret Online Life

While trying to befriend your stepson, you find something you weren't quite expecting to see

Stepdad Reader (No Pronouns)

Bottom!FTM Idia x Top!Masc Reader

{Request} [Series] | [No AFAB Language Ver (AO3)]

CW: Getting Caught, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Oral, Praise, Cum Shot, Taking Pictures, Lingerie, Belly Bulge, Squirting, Nipple Play, Creampie

📝 1,975 Words

──────────────────

You've been married to Idia's dad for about a year now and you can count on your fingers how many times you've seen Idia. He usually stays holed up in his room all day, only leaving to eat, pick up packages, or go to the convenience store.

When you do talk to him, he's shy and his face gets red. He avoids eye contact and looks like he wants to leave the conversation as soon as possible. You managed to ask him, your husband, and his brother if Idia hates you and all three of them said no. You figured he's just nervous so you decided to try and get him to warm up to you.

You asked his brother what he likes and got him some snacks. You walk down to the basement and knock on his door a few times but get no response. You open the door to make sure he's okay and the sight before you causes your mouth to hang open.

Idia's wearing a white lacy lingerie while sitting on a chair, not his gaming chair as he'd probably struggle to...ride the dildo he's currently on. His panties seem to have a hole in them and the dildo inside him is thick and transparent. He's pinching his nipples and talking to the multiple cameras pointed at him, one pointing in between his legs. You've never wanted to be a camera so bad in your life.

"You think I'm pretty?" Idia questions shyly. "Thank you.."

You stare at him intensely, eyes moving all around his body before focusing on his lower half as he grinds down on the dildo.

You're the only one home so you stay there, stroking yourself to the sight. He may be your stepson but by all hell is he irresistible. You stay there until he shuts off the stream.

Now you know why he chose to live in the basement of all places. The house had plenty of rooms but the basement's practically soundproof and very secretive. The perfect place to record adult content.

You pull your pants up and leave to take a shower, planning on talking to him about it tomorrow.

──────────────────

You started to think about his body language when he's around you, the way he'd squeeze his legs together and chew on his bottom lip had you wondering if it was less about being uncomfortable with someone unfamiliar and more about being attracted to you.

And so, you decided to take a shot in the dark. More like a dimly lit basement, metaphorically speaking.

You knock on his door and he says "hold on" just loud enough for you to hear. You hear some shuffling and then some soft footsteps.

"Oh.." Idia looks up at you then down at his feet. "Yes..?"

"Can I come in? I need to talk to you."

Idia's heart pounds faster, he knows he's done something but he doesn't know what. He wonders if you opened one of his packages or even worse found one of his social media accounts. He lets you in but lets his mind wander to different things.

You motion for him to sit on the end of his bed and he does, looking at anything but you.

"I found out about that little hobby of yours, Idia. You're an adult and I'm no prude so I'm not upset at you, however, since you're doing this under my roof and likely buying things thanks to the allowance I give you...I think I'm entitled to some benefits."

"My...my money..?" He asks. Idia gets all his money from you, some from his father, and from being a camboy. With the money he gets from you and his father, he isn't really bothered by having to give you the other money. "Okay.."

"You know I don't need money, sweetheart." You chuckle. "I'll put it bluntly, I wanna fuck you."

Idia's face gets redder than before. He wonders if he had an auditory hallucination. "Me..?"

"If you don't want to, that's fine."

Idia finally makes eye contact with you, his lips trembling as he forms the proper words to say. "I want to.."

Your guess was right, he likes you. You move back and point to the floor, Idia immediately gets on his knees and looks up at you.

You pull down your pants and boxers, your semi-soft cock flopping onto his face. A small moan leaves Idia's lips.

You jerk yourself to full length, the sight making Idia ache in anticipation. You're bigger than all the dildos he has and he can't wait to feel you inside him.

You guide your length into his mouth and Idia stays pliant for you, eyes turning half lidded as you slide your cock in and out. "Such a good boy, taking me so well." You push his hair back gently. Even when you hit the back of his throat he doesn't gag, his mouth is perfect.

Idia moans vibrate along your shaft, his hand reaching down in between his legs to relieve some tension. He ruts against his palm erratically, loving the feeling of your thick length in his mouth but also anticipating it's entrance inside him. The more you thrust into his mouth the more he anticipates it.

"Getting desperate, Idia?" You chuckle, pulling out of his mouth and pumping your cock a few times before coming over his face. "You don't mind if I take a picture for myself, do you?" You take your phone out.

Idia shakes his head and looks up at the camera, unintentionally making a cute face for you.

You snap the picture and move him onto the bed, making him lay on his back. "Such a pretty thing.." You move your hand up underneath his shirt, feeling a lace bra. "Oh? Were you about to stream?"

You notice his weirdly put together outfit, a big wrinkly t shirt and some pajamas pants. He clearly put it on when he heard you knock.

Idia shakes his head. "I was just gonna...take pictures.."

"Really? Where's your camera? Can't have me be the reason your fans miss out on some sexy pictures."

"You don't have to.." Idia bites his lip, not wanting to wait any longer. "I...want you to- to fuck me already.." He says, his body language and voice madly sinful yet somewhat innocent.

You press a finger to his lips, resisting his charm. "Not yet, princess. You're going to be patient for Daddy, okay?"

Idia pouts, getting even more aroused. "Okay.." He shakily points to his high quality camera.

You take a few pictures of him with his clothes on, some pictures focusing on his cum drenched face. Then you push his shirt up, showing the baby blue lace bra he has on. They hold his small breasts nicely, squeezing them together perfectly.

You squeeze one of them and snap a picture before moving down to his pants. You help him pull them down and you pause, a grin growing on your face.

He's wearing garters, which are holding up two white stockings.

You squeeze his soft, thick thigh before taking a few more pictures. Idia forgets about his whiny complaints, getting turned on by your focused and lustful expression. He feels like a work of art being observed by an art critic. He's never felt this beautiful before.

He looks at you dreamily as you bring his legs up in the air and point the camera at his clothed pussy. Idia lets out a soft moan when your finger slides up to his t-dick, brushing against the sensitive growth before moving your hand down to push the fabric aside.

You take one final picture of his wet pussy and then one of his whole body before placing the camera down on the side drawer. You wipe up his face so he doesn't have to have cum on his face all night.

"You're so wet, baby." You slide a finger into him with ease, adding another to loosen him up a little. "You've been so patient for me, such a good boy.." You kiss his little dick, licking it a bit before pulling away.

Idia moans, twitching from the contact. "Please...please fuck me.."

"Daddy needs to loosen you up first, 's gonna hurt."

"I don't care...I need your cock, please, Daddy."

You bite your lip, you're painfully hard and Idia's doing an amazing job at seducing you so you sigh and let him win. "Fine, all good boys deserve rewards after all." You climb onto the bed and slot yourself in between his legs.

Idia watches as you push the tip of your cock inside him, stretching his hole out nicely. He bites his lip and hisses as you move further. You pause and look at him in worry. He shakes his head. "Keep going.."

With that reassurance, you do as he says, pushing your length further and further inside him until he's completely filled up. His hand moves down to his lower stomach, pushing down the bump. He'd been masturbating to the thought of this, fantasizing about what it could look and feel like if you ever had sex with him. Idia almost came from seeing the bulge in his stomach.

You smirk, feeling him clench your cock. "See how good I'm filling you up, baby?"

Idia nods with his cheeks flushed. His toys pale in comparison.

You grab hold of his waist and slowly pull out before thrusting hard, making Idia mewl. You set a fast yet comfortable pace for him. "You feel amazing–"

Idia moans, feeling pure bliss from having you take his virginity. Barely comprehensible mumbles of pleasure leave his soft and wet lips, hands making its way up to his chest. He pinches his nipples through the thin lace, feeling more pleasure from the fabric tickling the sensitive buds.

You move one of his hands away, replacing it with your mouth.

Idia rolls his head back, gasping as a sudden sensation of pleasure overwhelms his body. "Da- Daddy~!" He chokes out. "Gonn- gonna co- come~!"

You keep going, your hand fondling his t-dick and instantly bringing him to an orgasm. He arches his back and squirts, walls spasming around your cock.

You pull away from his nipple and kiss the tear that fell from his eye, slowing your thrusts. "That's right...squirt on Daddy's cock." You groan in his ear, nibbling on it.

"No- no- keep...keep going..faster..." Idia weakly rolls his hips. "Want...want Daddy to co- come too-"

"I can't or I'll come inside you, baby, I have to pull out." You kiss him softly, retracting yourself from inside him.

Idia wraps his legs around you, giving you a pleading look. "Come inside." He says with a surprising amount of confidence while he tries to fuck himself on your length. "Wanna feel it inside me...'M on the pill." He takes it to stop his period but he always hoped he could use it for one of its other functions.

You bite your lip and grip his hips hard enough to bruise them, fucking him hard enough to bring you to your orgasm quickly. "You're perfect.." You groan. "Gonna fill your pretty pussy up with my cum, sweetheart."

"Yes~! Oh- please~!" Idia moans, jerking himself off to come with you.

You kiss him sloppily before moving to his neck, nipping away at it as you reach your peak. Idia lets out high pitched moans and comes quickly after you.

You slowly pull out and watch the cum drip out of him. You quickly grab the camera and take a picture, wanting to savor this moment. You give his pussy a harsh but loving smack, you smirk when it squeezes around nothing.

He looks so pretty with his face flushed and his body trembling.

Makes you want to go another round.

[voxofthevoid]

your thoughts on the other (popular) yuuji pairings? 👀

How many hours do you have 👀

I love too many Yuuji ships for my own good, honestly. But I'm not much of a multishipper, so everything else comes secondary to goyuu. Buuuut JJK is also the first fandom for which I've liked multiple ships enough to try and write more than just my OTP, so it's safe to say I like these Yuuji ships a hell of a lot.

Putting it under a cut because concision and I are arch-enemies. Also, I don't want to clog up the ship tags with my ramblings, so before you click through, know that this talks about nanayuu, chosoita, itafushi, and sukuita.

Caveat that I've read very, very few JJK fics, so I'll be talking mostly in relation to canon and my own writing.

Here goes, in order of adoration:

Nanami/Yuuji

Their canon dynamic is so good; I love how Yuuji's exuberance contrasts with Nanami's reticence, and more than that, I love how they're both intrinsically kind in a really similar way, even if Nanami's version has been tempered by the harsh realities of their world. Plus, it never gets old just how much Nanami lets Yuuji get away with—I mean, Nanamin, seriously. He protests once and then goes "well, guess I'm Nanamin now." Amazing. Predictably, Shibuya did unholy things to my poor heart. When the "You've got it from here" scene gets animated, I will lose my entire goddamn mind.

That said, I started out liking them platonically, but well, other than vertical incest, there's no relationship dynamic that's safe from my gremlin hands, so I wound up shipping them sooner than later. Specifically, I wrote a goyuu fic with a heavy focus on platonic Nanami&Yuuji and plummeted headfirst into shipping them, so now I've got like three different ideas that's a mix of nanayuu and goyuu. If I don't write at least one of them, someone should punch me.

Chōsō/Yuuji

Listen, brocon just comes very naturally when Chōsō is involved, and it doesn't help that sibling incest with fuckery potential has always lit up my brain (Sam/Dean from SPN, Vash/Knives from Trigun, etc.). What I like about their canon relationship is the...imbalance that's kind of there, especially at the beginning. Chōsō has family revelations after hallucinating one near-death-experience-induced (and Yuuji's NDE at that) picnic scene and is immediately ride or die, while Yuuji's just there going "???" He's treated complete strangers with more delicacy than he affords Chōsō when they're alone in Shibuya, which makes perfect sense given the circumstances and Yuuji's mental state at the time. And even once Yuuji seems to remember his "mum" and realize Chōsō is his brother, there's the distinct sense that Chōsō's attachment is a hell of a lot more intense and more explicitly connected to the blood relation, as opposed to Yuuji's usual warmth to an ally and friend. And that contrast of complete, immediate devotion and cautious, burgeoning affection makes me want to do unholy things to them both.

Which is why Chōsō is currently getting enthusiastically eaten and eaten out by Yuuji in my Word document. It's not even subtle as far as metaphors go.

Megumi/Yuuji

A friend described my thing for this as a "tiny, doting crush," and it's pretty accurate. Canon sells this pretty hard from the get-go, and something that struck me is that, a lot of the time when you have a shonen hero who's dragged into a new world, it's a female character, usually the future love interest/main heroine/first girl, that does it. In JJK, you have Megumi in that role—fun all over. Also, the narrative is highly consistent about highlighting both of their complicated feelings about their involvement in the other's current predicament. Their interactions are also interesting from the beginning, both the lighthearted moments and the heavier stuff. And the manga panel split between a freshly Sukunafied Megumi and a very horrified Yuuji remains one of my favorites.

Thing is, since canon feeds me pretty well in terms of this ship, I don't feel much of an urge to read or write it. I have one(1) idea that's a mix of goyuu+gofushi+itafushi+goitafushi (it's...complicated), but it's pretty low on the priority list.

Sukuna/Yuuji

I'll be frank: I want to like this ship a lot more than I actually do. And that's mostly because Sukuna is a bit hit-and-miss for me. There are parts in the story where I've loved him and parts where I wanted to step on his face—not in the fun way either. And ever since he took over Megumi, I've been in "step on his face" mode. Their canon relationship appeals to me mostly because Sukuna brings out a side of Yuuji that only Mahito has managed, and their scant interactions while sharing a mind and body were pretty interesting. The blend of hostility and humor was nice, and I kind of like that there's pretty much zero chance of it getting resolved like with, say, Kurama and Naruto.

Anyway, I do see a lot of potential in this ship for hate sex, except what I'd like to see is a very specific dynamic that I haven't been able to find—and one that's complicated enough that I'm not sure I could write it either. I might try some day, especially if inspiration strikes.

Thanks for asking, anon ❤

[sealrock]

Which Poisonous Flower Are You: 4/4

so I was tagged by @thefreelanceangel and @icehearts a while ago for this neat quiz that I finally got around to doing, ty guys! I'm gonna use this opportunity to show off my brand new shiny ask banners so the results are under the cut

not tagging anyone so this is an open tag. take the quiz here!

doll's eyes; This is the poison of unchecked vices. You slip into hallucinations. You are wracked with convulsions. The delirium threatens to overwhelm you. What are you running from? You look in every direction, wild-eyed at every turn, seeking some reprieve from what torments you. Each vice brings new consequences, and the price of escape seems too great, and yet you cannot seem to face things head on. If you aren't running from yourself, I hope you find a true way to freedom soon. And if you are running from yourself, perhaps you would do well to realize your pain is not something you can simply escape by avoidance. You deserve healing just as much as the ones you love. Someday, soon I hope, you will know this and feel it and reach inward to grant yourself all the kindnesses you offer others. That is the only true way to peace for ones like us. Oh, and if the pain of it seems too great? I hope that you realize you don't have to do it alone.

hemlock; This is the poison of intense fear. Your body trembles, your flesh burns. Your limbs won't respond to you. You convulse. You can't seem to control the fear. It seems that it has always lived within you. You hesitate, you agonize, and that breeds regret. Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm you, and that frightens you more than anything. But panic is survival mode in overdrive, and something within you knows you must live. Creation seems to be the only balm for you. Perhaps you survive so stubbornly because you have stories that must be told, songs that must be sung. Soothe your stage fright. The path from surviving to thriving is having a good garden to grow in. And you can't do that completely alone.

oleander; This is the poison of stagnation. You grow drowsy. Your heart rate slows, and when you do move you can't seem to stop shaking. It may seem to others that you're lazy, or reticent. Like you avoid hard work on purpose, like you always take the easy way out. But you know deep down that it wouldn't be like this if you weren't so tired, so deeply tired. If you weren't crushed under the weight of sorrow like a mile of water over your head. Nothing brings you peace, except rest and-- though you can hardly dare to ask-- having someone tend to you gently and sweetly. A good gardener speaks to their plants, sings to them, waters them, fertilizes their soil, prunes the dead parts, nurtures the new growth. You yearn to be cared for like that, even though you feel you don't deserve it. The secret is that you do. You always have. And someday, you'll learn that, and receive that care, and the exhaustion won't keep you from growing strong and lovely anymore. You were never the problem. These are simply poor growing conditions for you.

belladonna; This is the poison of falling in love. You taste it and your heart beats fast. Your eyes dilate, you fall into deep delirium. You may be a bit dramatic and impulsive, and it gets you into trouble sometimes, but you just can't help yourself. It's in your blood. You love because it is the truest beauty you've found in this harsh world. Even when it's hurt you before, when it's poisoned you, you still find a way. They may call you naive for still believing in it, or vain for making yourself and your surroundings so meticulously lovely. But to love like this is brave and noble, and I hope you find the beauty you seek. Chances are, it's within and all around you already, if you know where to look.

[gogolstoelicker]

﹙>︿< ) ᶻz . . .

I love your writings sm!

Can I request Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, and Pomefiore with a yumeno kyūsaku! Reader/Mc?

Heartslabyul, Octavinelle and Pomefiore with a Yumeno Kyusaku! MC

warning(s): -

notes: MY CHILD YUMENO<33333 HAVE U SEEN YUMENO????? WELL NOW U HAVE<333

You're a twisted and sadistic individual. While you can play the part of a harmless, innocent child, you are quick to 180 into your darkest nature. You have an intense hatred for humanity, yourself and your ability that you've never asked for.

Your ability, Dogra Magra, is a mind control curse that curses your targets or 'receivers' by ravaging their consciousness with hallucinations, causing them to attack everyone in sight with no regard on whom they might be; allies or foes, friends or enemies. The 'receivers' are those that "hurt you".

Heartslabyul:

riddle went easy on you with the rules

u act pretty young and u look pretty young so there's no way riddle might not go easy on you

but he still teaches u about it

other than that, he would try his best so you won't be too influenced by those things you called as friends

cater always wants you on his magicam

he said you're just so cute that he couldn't resist

like u could do smth and he would go😍😍😍📸📸📸📸

he's that one parent that won't stop taking pics of their child and putting it in their social media

trey is probably the best at taking care of you

like hm? you're hungry? *whips out skills to make the best food*

you're sad? he's already comforting u with comfort food in his hands

someone made fun of you? excuse him while he goes to have a small talk with them🤗

ace and deuce are literally ur playmates

you always asked them to show u cool tricks with their magic

being nice a showoff, they did show u some cool tricks that quickly resorted to a competition that turns into a fight 🤗‼️

aww so sweet amirite🌹⁉️

you guys causes problems together every single day

riddle:

honestly? u probably tried to use ur ability when riddle overbloted

but thank god u got stopped‼️ who knows what would've happened if u have did that

Octavinelle:

oh sevens

azul and jade had a hard time seperating floyd from you

bc if he were to accidentally hurt you, you will surely use that ability of yours on him and that's no good at all

other than that, nothing much!

jade might be uh

uh a little like ur kin rn💀

HELPP I'M /J I SWEAR

or am i

well u probably kin them honestly

mostly floyd tho

u probably tried to make them show u cool tricks everytime

azul saw this as ANOTHER business opportunity🤗

he'll show u cool tricks but youll have to pay him‼️

almost put ur curse on him

thank god ace, deuce and grim saw what you were gonna do and stopped u before anything

speaking of which, u probably used it on the twins during the whole take the pic to win this contract thing

was not the best of experience, they had to go out, drag riddle to collar ur doll or smth

jade might be holding a little bit of grudge though

they'll happily be ur playmates if they're not busy with the lounge tho

Pomefiore:

rook is the one having the time of his life with you

he's walking in the hallways and then saw you and just

scoop you into his arms and walked around that way

he tries to find u in school every single day just so he can play with you

best playmate honestly

ok maybe not too much since you guys were seconds away from accidentally burning the school together for ur entertainment or smth

epel is kind of awkward with you but warms up eventually

would try to carry u to prove he's strong

yes epel, u just carried them, pls put thrm down now...

vil doesn't mind having u around much

maybe he'll play dress up with u here and there tho

like whats that in ur hands vil?🤨

oh, ur clothes^^ go change into this👹right👹now👹

he'll even happily do ur hair and put some accessories in them‼️

[a-blue-comedy]

Bad omen

Part II

TW: Blood 

"Something very bad is going to happen"

An old phrase, full of nostalgia, which Hero stopped saying when had no effect; no one believed in their power or curse. They never managed to pick a appropriate name for it. 

Hero, in exchange, had been told as an imaginative child, but after high school, they learned what happens when people think you are crazy. Otherwise, Hero would believe they were. They would not let the stress of being a hero come with it. So Hero wasn't going to put their last hopes on the group of villains that cornered them.

They were desperate to find a way out, marks and wounds all over the body, from punches and kicks and blows that Hero tried to fight back. Their instinct tried to tell something under the wind hitting their ears, but they wouldn't listen while they were outnumbered.

Now, thinking a little bit clear, some of that anxiety wasn't anxiety at all. The sweat didn't come only from fatigue. But a macabre nostalgia.

Hero believed in scientific theories, superstitions, curses, myths... Any name for what they could do. That thing lived under their skin, trying to get out, whispering in their ears, making their blood cold and unable to move. After all that, they started to see shadows in the corners of their eyes. When that happened with such intensity, only them could be standing in the end. Although is questionable if Hero, the pain in their leg and blood falling off the nose, would do. 

"Truly" Villain took a step back, still with a good view of their hero "A very bad thing is going to happen"

Hero swallowed hard, their eyes running over their trembling hands. "T-There's something... You have to go. Now"

"Nobody knows you're here, Hero" Villain 2 said "But we all know what you've done to us, every time you've got in our way. Hopefully, at some point or another…" they twirled one of their guns in hand "We would do the same, wouldn't we?"

A shiver ran through Hero body, one that must have been because of how long they would stay there, moaning in pain, until someone realized they were gone, in time for the lack of blood not to kill them.

But they will kill them? Maybe they just wanted to scare the shit out of them to the point they start to see things, right? I mean, It’s all a trick, isn’t it? 

That dizziness, though, wasn't from the fall, and the shapes in the corners of their eyes weren't hallucinations.

Hero knew too much to believe those lies. Those ones they tried to believe all their life. At times hit them on their back and stay there, became their second shadow.

"You are weaker than before, by the way," Villain commented. Hero gave them a venomous look, ignoring the rest of the villains who share the same amusement. They really wished that just looking at them could fall hard to the ground.

"Why… Did you guys drop me from the building?"

"It was an accident actually" Villain 3 eyes went to the six-story building "Like you didn't fight us too? How are you still awake?" 

They were right. Hero wouldn’t endure that fall like… 

"I don't…" Their ribs ached with the effort to breathe. Hero swallowed, shaking their head. They always expected… conflicts, it's what you got for having enemies. But… "What do you want?"

"Many things, maybe today’s lesson is…"

Hero grunted, as low as they could when they felt themselves trembling more. They thought if they could have the strength to attack them one last time. How much they wanted to take their fun out of seeing them miserable, taking the same amount of blood they took...

The wind brought whispers from all directions. Hero looked around, even though they knew they had no owners.

All sense of time and space become lost in brief seconds. Suddenly, Hero didn't know what time it was, didn't know if they were still in the alley, if they'd dragged them to another neighborhood, to someone lair, or if they were still on the side of the building; if all of that was happening in the same day or passed weeks. 

They could feel, actually, every solid shape around as they projected into space and remained standing. Heard the macabre stories the voices told, increasing their strength to know more. The thing is, when they heard a few sentences, Hero couldn’t help themselves to stop. The hero doesn’t have a choice to not listen. 

It's too much for a person to know that Hero, when got back to normal, didn't remember anything. 

But the heavy feeling that there was something inside them was always there. 

Weak sometimes, but always there. 

"Hero…" a thin voice reached them. They didn't hear anything around them either. Looked up at the group, guessing they were saying something when Hero wasn't paying attention. 

They would lie if they deny the wish to make them pay, because none of them ever felt guilty about their actions, ever. 

Would be a huge lie either if say that they trying to stop that, despite, at the same time, don’t have the slightest idea how will end. 

Their hand curled into a fist.

"Go… Now… Please..."

"I think their head hit too much…" In the ironic tone, Villain 4 rotated their finger in a circle near the head, looking at their companions. Villain 2 just nodded seriously.

"Get out of here" Hero forced themselves to speak louder, holding back a sob "Get out"

"Why?"

"Just…" a bigger whisper in their right ear. Hero jumped, looking to the side and seeing nothing. They turned to Villain again wide eye "Just get out of here, please" 

Villain cocked their head to the side between interest and amusement. But mostly, indifferent at what Hero was saying. 

"Why is that, little hero? Does something bother you?"

"You've got what you want, now…"

"No, no, no…" Villain spoke calmly "It's not up to you to decide this"

Hero tried to get up. Villain watch them fail again. 

"Why are you shaking like that?" Hero didn't know if it was a genuine question or not, but they ground their teeth anyway, mostly in pain.

"I have to go… This… There's something inside me" They looked down at their hands, fill of blood and sweat in the palm, their red fists  ``There's something inside me and it's coming… It's… it's too strong. And I don't know what will happen, you had to believe me. Please, just leave" 

"What is inside you?" One of them asked. 

Stop. Just stop. Not now, please. Not now…

When then? What will happen if you are at their mercy?

What a difference it will make, isn't it? You are defeated, you are weak, no one is waiting for you at home and no one will save you. Why hold back?

Hero swallowed hard. I don't know what will happen if I let this thing out...

"They went crazy for good" They heard the comment.

Hero jumped and looked at the group of villains staring back at them again, now a more serious look and not as amused as before. Sometimes Hero would also end up talking aloud without realizing it.

"What the fuck?" Villain 3 murmured. 

" You guys won, that's great. I'll spend a whole week recovering while you have fun. Now let me...

"I hadn't thought of that, to tell you the truth" Villain 2 commented "But we still want to chat with you about certain things that will change from now on. Since then your head is unstable…"

"No, no, no. Stay there" Hero took a deep breath "No, not now. You have to believe me" lowered their head, letting out a cry. They dug the nails into their hair as if they could stop all that if they pulled their scalp for real, "What to do? What… "

Hero grunted loudly as the whispers increased their pitch and tickled their skin.

And stopped. Their breathing became shallow and silent again, the spine still bent. Villain no longer saw any pained expression on their face, only their eyes closing. The shaking stopped too. 

The villains looked at each other.

"Let's just take them" Villain concluded "Before Supervillain…"

"Go" Hero whispered "Now"

They clenched their fists tightly, and the figures became shadows advancing upon them. The omen is no longer just an omen, but a certainty. 

After all, Hero was looking for a way out, and they managed to find one. Suddenly, that is what made their feet no longer touch the ground.

"V-Villain…" one of the villains commented, watching Hero body in the air.

"What…"

"No one really believes" they sighed and opened their eyes, not looking at them, but straight ahead. "When I say something bad is going to happen" And everything around the Hero and the villains faded to the shadows. 

As usual, only Hero was standing to walk away.

[sage-nebula]

Saw u posting about Arcane and wanted to share a HC about Jinx and Caitlyn where Cait bandages Jinx's wounds instead of firing a shot with her rifle, bcuz it's what her dad taught her (he's a doctor right?)

Reminded me of the scene in Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood where Winry patches up Scar instead of seeking to kill him bcuz that was what her parents did before he killed them. They saved his life cuz they were doctors.

Idk it might be interesting???

HMMM, as nice as this image is, unfortunately I don't think it has a good chance of working out, for a few reasons.

1.) Winry was never a soldier, but Caitlyn is. Well, more specifically, Caitlyn's a cop. Caitlyn has been trained to use her gun and to fire if necessary, and it's been shown repeatedly that she recognizes Jinx as a threat. I saw someone say that in a preview for s2, Caitlyn tells Vi that if she and Jinx encounter each other when Vi's not around, it's very likely one of them will end up dead. (I haven't seen this preview myself though, so I can't confirm if that's true or not.) That's acknowledging that Caitlyn is prepared to kill Jinx if necessary, and considering what Jinx has put her through personally (the assault, the kidnapping, trying to make Vi kill her, killing her mom, etc) I can't blame her.

1a.) On that note, on top of Winry never being trained to handle guns or shoot anyone, Winry does actually have experience in the medical field already, having helped deliver a baby and also assisting Pinako in attaching Ed's automail, which is surgery. While Caitlyn can do triage on the field (presumably at least a little, though she had to seek help for Vi's stab wound), she doesn't have any experience in the medical field or, as far as we can see, any inclination toward that.

2.) Perhaps most importantly, Jinx sees Caitlyn as a MAJOR threat. Not only is she intensely jealous over her presumption that Vi has replaced her with Caitlyn (as a result of her insecurities over her relationship with Vi), but her psychoses makes her literally see Caitlyn as an enemy, as someone who would take glee in hurting her, as we see from her hallucinations when Singed was using the shimmer to save her life. (We also see this in a few other scenes I think, such as I think on the bridge? But the ones during the surgery were the most notable since Jinx was screaming / begging "Caitlyn" to stop, but "Caitlyn" continued to smirk while "Vi" let her do it.) Jinx not only harbors hatred for Caitlyn out of jealousy, but also out of paranoia and fear. No doubt due in part to Silco assuring her for the past eight years that everyone was out to get them (something he hammered home again at the dinner party), but as far as Jinx is concerned, Caitlyn would take the first opportunity presented to kill her, and make it painful. What this means is that even if she was injured and Caitlyn did try to help, Jinx is far more likely to see that as a threat and lash out / try to attack rather than let Caitlyn get anywhere near her. Contrast this with Scar, who although he knew that Winry hated him for valid reasons (given that he killed her parents, although he didn't do so on purpose exactly, but he knows she doesn't know that and he also knows that his own feelings of revenge stem largely from the death of his own family, etc etc I assume you've seen the show / read the manga), never really saw her as a threat, even when she was pointing a gun at him, and was prepared to deal with that head on. Like Scar wouldn't just let her kill him, but also he was never afraid of her. He was more like, "You hate me, and that's fair, we can settle this if you want, but otherwise I have no issue with you since you're not a State Alchemist." So while Scar would let Winry bandage his injuries, Jinx would never afford Caitlyn that opportunity because she is, tbh, far too afraid of her to take that risk.

So while it's a nice though, especially since I would love for Jinx to get a redemption arc and be a happy family with Vi again (and thus have a nice sisters-in-law relationship with Caitlyn), it's not one that I can see happening, unfortunately. At least not at this point in time. :(

[cher-writes]

Ethereal | Vladek Klimov x Reader (18+)

Read part 2

Word count: 4.6k

CW: Smut, NSFW, Wound, Blood

A/N: I know it's hella long but it irks me to make two people have sex when it doesn't make sense for them to do so. Hopefully you'll enjoy.

It was an exceptionally cold day. Not that it was never not cold in your little northern town. But even among the cold ones, that day felt a bit too cold to you. You were feeling lazy from the very moment you woke up, but after leaving your warm comforter the cold bit into your skin like a snake, even though you had the heater on. 'I gotta get this heater checked’ you thought as you opened up the blinds to look outside. Surprisingly it was neither snowing nor much cloudy. You could almost make out the sun behind the wispy clouds. This cold but almost sunny day lit you up with an amazing idea. You called in sick to your work without wasting any time. Quickly gulping down some leftovers and grabbing your meticulously packed little bag for this exact occasion you were on your way. Hoping none would see you was a terrible stretch of luck cause in that town, everyone knew everyone and everyone saw everything. You were confident you could lie your way out of trouble if you got in any so you didn't quite care anyway. You had only thought in your mind, The hot spring.

The hot water welcomed your skin like an old lover. As you hoped, the water soothed every aching and sore muscle in your body. The spring was empty as usual. The town people weren't quite fond of taking a bath there, unlike you, who even after being born and brought up there couldn't quite get over the euphoric feeling of bathing in a hot spring in the freezing cold weather. Sometimes you wondered if god made a mistake cause you clearly were meant to be in a more warm climate. The cold and the mundane nature of this place got under your skin way too often. Although there were some weird and unexplainable events occurring recently that left the town in quite an unrest. You knew some stuff but honestly you couldn't differentiate the truth from the rumors so you preferred to keep your distance. Anyway you didn't wanna think about that, all you wanted to do was to float in the tranquil hot water, tune everything out with the ecstatic feeling and you could do that forever.

Unfortunately, your forever was interrupted rather quickly as you felt waves behind you. You turned around only to be greeted with a man's face you've never seen before. And working at the local convenience store, it was unlikely you haven't come across almost everyone living in that godforsaken place. He was adrift a bit too close, and you were taken aback, visibly.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else, didn't mean to scare you” he blurted out sensing your shock and possible discomfort.

“I-It's fine. I just wasn't expecting anyone to be around” you replied. you could see his piercing green eyes even through the steam and they were gorgeous, to say the least. There was this intensity in them that you've never seen in anyone's eyes before.

You could feel yourself staring. So as to snap yourself out of it and to break the uncomfortable silence you quickly spoke up, “You aren't from around here!”. You meant to ask but it came out as a statement somehow, his intense eyes were messing with your tongue.

“Hah! No. I'm not.” he said ever so calmly. You could make out his face clearly from the steam now, and it was angelic. His slick neck and collarbone glistened in the warm water, now at more of a distance from you than before. Yet to you it felt like he was almost pressing against your skin. It made you uncomfortable, in a sensual way. But you played it cool, you had to play it cool. You weren't the type to flirt with unknown people let alone feel this way for a complete stranger that you met like 30 seconds ago. But it was a fact that you never came across a stranger that looked like him. You couldn't really blame yourself for feeling like that. You shook off your body's fervent reaction to him and said, “I see. We don't really get any tourists around here, especially during these months. Are you visiting someone?”

“Not really. I'm here to fulfill my duty.” he said, the words rolling out his tongue like butter. You've always adored that accent, rarely you heard it around there.

-“Duty?”

-“Yes.”

You understood he probably wasn't interested in explaining anything further and you quite weren't in the state to ask anything either. Your mind was getting hazy. There was a considerable amount of distance between the two of you but his presence felt electrifying. The tension, you felt, was excruciating yet exciting. He on the other hand, seemed extremely and unusually composed. Even smirking, ever so slightly

You were starting to realize there was something unnatural about this man, your head now completely fuzzy and that was your cue to leave. You dipped in the water and swam away without saying anything else. You didn't look back when you got out of the water. When you parked your car in front of your house 15 min later, you were panting.

It had been a few days since you saw him. Yet you couldn't get him out of your head. You saw his intense gaze at the back of your lid everytime you closed them. There were things happening around you but you were out of it. You felt faded everywhere you went. It was as if he took a part of you with him. It was so dumb when you thought about it, you were with him for like 2 minutes at best, yet he rubbed off on you so badly that you couldn't stop thinking of him. And sometimes you caught yourself wishing you met him again, maybe feel his skin this time. You wanted it to happen so much yet you were afraid of it happening, no, you were terrified. Cause if you felt his skin once, touched him even for a moment, you would lose control over all your motor function. Feeling this hot and bothered for someone you didn't even know the name of, left you quite ashamed.

That evening when you came home from your disturbingly tedious job, you weren't expecting for your wish to come true and that too to such an extent.

You walked straight to your kitchen to pour yourself some rosé cause it was Saturday and you had nothing better to do. You preferred the high of alcohol more than whatever you've been feeling for the last few days. It was way better to be actually drunk. You heard some rustling behind you as you were emptying the first glass. You didn't pay it any mind. As you were pouring yourself the second glass you heard footsteps, that sent you on alert mode. When you turned around, ever so slowly, you saw the guy in glasses. Standing, rather leaning against the door frame, with his left hand pressing against the side of his stomach. You were out of everything these past few days that's for sure but you still heard about him. Panic struck you quicker than the alcohol could. ‘How did he get in?’ you thought then immediately answered you own question by cursing yourself for not properly locking the door, the want to get drunk as quick as possible came back to bite you in the ass. But beating yourself up for that wouldn't help now, the danger was already in. With your back against the counter you started fumbling around with your hands in the back looking for something sharp, anything but the only thing you found was the bottle of rosé and the half poured glass. You cursed yourself again and understood that luck wasn't on your side so you decided to run for your life cause you didn't wanna die yet. But your body froze in place and nothing you could do would help it move. Fear took over your being like a frostbite. All of this happened only in the matter of a few seconds. You were now standing there, glaring at him with wide terrified eyes, preparing yourself for the bitter embrace of death. He was standing there still, crouched a bit, till then. Seeing you stop moving, he laggardly took off his glasses and the mask and threw it aside. Your eyes darted towards the accessories as they fell on the floor with a soft thump. It was only then that you noticed he was bleeding all over your floor. When your eyes came back up to see his now bare face, your body went numb and blood flooded the back of your neck like a tsunami at the sight. It was him.

Nothing was making sense to you. Right then probably the alcohol kicked in cause you started feeling tipsy and was starting to doubt if all of that was just a mere hallucination. You were starting to spiral in your absurd thoughts when he spoke up, his voice sharp from the visible pain he was in, “w-will you help-p me p-please?”

Hearing his aching voice something went off in you. The fact that he was the guy in glasses, the dangerous demon people kept talking about, completely washed away from your immediate memory. You rushed over to him and held him by his shoulder to walk him to your bedroom. You helped him out of his coat and the clothings underneath. He inhaled sharply when the t-shirt brushed against the side of his stomach as he was taking it off. It was then that you could see the wound. It was ghastly and bleeding still. You gasped at the sight of it. You blurted out, “How did you get this?”

He didn't answer your question, rather went on to say, “it's a...um.. grazed bullet wound”. His voice strained from the agony.

“W-we need to go to the hospital, what if the bullet is inside!”, you said as your fingers were ghosting over the wound, your teeth clenched. You were growing more and more worried with every passing moment.

“Look at me”, he said firmly with his tired voice and you did, he was looking more human now. Still as unreal as that day, but somehow more human. ‘It's probably all the blood’, you thought to yourself.

“I can't go to the hospital, you understand? You have to help me however you can right here, yeah?” he had this expression, this strange mix of pleading and pain on his face as he said that and nodded slowly. You nodded back in return like an old partner in crime would. After carefully sitting him down on the bed and giving him one of your T-shirts that was just lying around to press over the wound, you practically ran over to your bathroom to get your first aid box. You came back equally hurried. He was slouching in pain. One hand pressing the t-shirt over his wound, other one supporting his body weight on the bed.

You laid him down slowly and then sat beside him. He hissed as you took off the now bloody t-shirt and exposed the wound again. You started cleaning the wound with an antiseptic liquid and you could feel his body shudder under your touch from the pangs of the liquid.

“I think it needs stitches” you looked up and said. He looked fatigued but still more beautiful than any human you've ever seen.

“Can you do it?” he managed to say, with labored breathing.

“I-i learnt it in highschool. I have the supplies but I don't know. It may hurt. I still think we should go to the hos-”

“Do it.” he cut you off quite abruptly. And as if under a spell, you complied.

Halfway through the process, you looked up to see him staring at you. His eyes sent a chill down your spine. The intensity was now setting in, he was half naked, almost under you, you were touching his warm skin and he was staring at you, like that. You couldn't bear the tension so you decided to speak up. Besides the questions were bubbling under the surface for quite a while now.

“How did you find my place?” you asked, and genuinely wanted to know.

-“Freya told me. She was curious to know with whom I confused her with.”

- “How do you know Freya?”

- “I do.”

- “and she told you my name too?”

- “Yes, (Y/N). She indeed did”

Your hand hitched a bit hearing your name roll off his tongue like that. You weren't prepared. He hissed at the sudden sharp pain.

- “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.” you apologized quickly. He didn't say anything. For a while you went quiet but the questions started pouring in again.

- “So why didn't you go to Freya's? You're clearly her guest. Why come to me?”

- “There were police at her place.”

And at that sentence, everything came back to you like a flood.

“Who are you? What's with you and the glasses? And what is this demon people keep talking about? What the hell is this bullet wound and how did you get it? Why are you on the run from the police? Did you kill someone?”, in one singular breath you asked. Your hands stopped working at his wound. The fear was slowly creeping in again.

He looked at you blankly for a little while and then chuckled. It caught you off guard and you couldn't but relax a bit.

“You ask an awfully lot of questions to someone who is getting stitches on his stomach, don't you think?” he said in a strained but adoring voice.

You felt a bit humiliated and looked down to continue your work.

After a while, he let out a sigh and said, “I'm a Shaman. I came to save this town. From a demon who possesses people and slowly becomes them.”

Whatever he said didn't quite make sense to you but there was something so religious about the way he spoke, something so otherworldly about him that you believed him without a shadow of a doubt. You realized he didn't answer all your questions either and honestly you didn't need him to. You believed every word from of his mouth like it's the word of the lord. And at that point, if he said you were the demon, you would have believed him. Maybe that's what compelled you to ask the next question, “Am I the demon?”

- “No. Never. The demon wouldn't touch someone like you.”

Again it didn't make sense to you what he meant, but you felt it and you believed him. He was growing visibly weary so you decided not to ask him anything further. And when you were done stitching, he was fast asleep. You bandaged up the wound, turned off the lights and left him be.

You made your way to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of rosé. Your brain was banging against your skull, whatever happened from the evening truly felt like a fever dream. The man that you've been thinking about for the entire week and the man who this town thinks is a demon was fast asleep in your bedroom, it wasn't setting quite right in your brain. You drained the bottle, hoping you'd wake up from this. But instead you started feeling terribly exhausted. You wanted to just lie down on the floor and pass out right there but you deserved more than the hardwood floor after what happened that evening. Now if it was any other day, you would have slept on the couch but something about him was so magnetic that you couldn't keep yourself away from him. You stumbled your way to your bedroom and collapsed on the bean bag opposite to the bed. He was sleeping peacefully like a child. And looking at him, you too fell asleep with an empty bottle in your hand.

When you woke up, everything was blurry. Your headache hit your head before your vision did. As everything came into focus you saw him kneeling in front you, looking at you with his burning green eyes. The sun was coming in through the window above your head and it's glorious yellow glow bathed him. He looked like an ancient greek statue. However little humane he felt yesterday vanished just like that. With his soft lush curls draping over the face, he looked ethereal, kind but regal. You kept staring at him and couldn't quite speak. Whether it was the effect of his beauty or the hangover, you didn't know.

“You're awake” he said in a mellow soothing voice. He sounded much more lively than yesterday. He was still wearing only his pants. His body looked like it was carved out of a stone under the fuzzy sunlight.

You tried to say ‘hmm’ but made somewhat of a weird raspy sound. He didn't seem bothered by it.

“How's your wound?” you asked as you were trying to sit up properly.

“Better. Thanks to you.” he gave you a cordial smile. Something about that smile made you feel so safe even though a literal stranger was in your house at 6 in the morning.

-“um- do you want some coffee?”

-“No, you've already done enough, I think I should leave now”, he said as he looked at you with those mesmerizing green eyes. “Thank you (Y/N), I really appreciate your kindness”.

You didn't know what it was. Whether it was the way your name fell from his lips or the idea of him leaving and you not being able to see him again that sent a mix of anxiety and urgency down your body. You leaned in from the bean bag and crashed your lips onto his. Holding onto his shoulder for dear life, you pushed his body backwards with all your weight. You kept kissing him as if trying to devour him as quickly as possible. Running out of breath, when you pulled out, he had his back against the bed and you were half crawling half kneeling over his now stretched out legs. The position was almost as awkward as the situation. He looked at you with a startled expression, mouth slightly agape. You were just as appalled by your sudden inappropriate action.

“I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I should have asked. That was so inappropriate. I'm really so-” you blabbered on, flustered and ashamed of your actions.

“It's okay. I like you (Y/N)”, he cut you off and said with a soft loving voice, almost like you'd coo to a baby.

“B-but you don't even know me!”, the confusion in your voice was more than apparent. You looked at him wide eyed, hoping he would explain. Cause if he didn't, you wouldn't have the mental strength to ask him again after hearing what he just said.

“I don't need to know people like you all do” he spoke, the sunlight falling on him still making him look heavenly. “There's...There's a deeper knowing within me about people. From the place above and beyond. I knew you before, I know you now and I'd know you after this place too. I know you more than even you do perhaps. And I like you in all my knowing.”

His words felt like honey in your ears, his voice and accent made you feel light-headed. Or was it the hangover again? You couldn't tell. You didn't know. None of anything he said registered in your brain. Baffled, you just gawked at him, frozen in your uncomfortable posture.

Sensing your astonishment, he cupped your face with his hands and brushed your cheeks with his thumbs, with a smile that you were sure could cure you from all your illness. Under his touch you melted. It felt like electricity was running up and down your body. At this moment, you truly believed, he wasn't from this world.

Every bone in your body wanted to possess him.

And so you did. Kissing him with all the force you could muster. You crawled your way over his body, then straddling him. He kissed you back although more softly compared to your burning urgency. Your hands wandered into his soft hair, tugging and pulling. You were getting sloppy but you didn't take a moment off, you felt like if you did he might just slip off from under you like sand. Or you might wake up from this very vivid dream. You couldn't take any chances, you had to make the most of whatever it was, real or imagined. You were grinding against him slowly but aggressively. Your clothed chest rubbed against his bare skin. As his tongue mingled with yours, he tasted heavenly, like nothing you've tasted before. Your hands wandered all over his neck, shoulders and arms. You were trying to touch and feel everything that he was, he still didn't feel real to you. In your fervid bliss, you mistakenly pressed against his bandaged wound making him hiss out in pain against your mouth. Your ardent movements came to a halt as he slowly pulled away, saliva dripping from the side of his mouth, his lips glistened in the yellow sunlight.

“Go a bit easy on me, yeah?” he pleaded, his doe eyes piercing your soul. At that moment if he stabbed you in your heart, you'd die happy. But you wanted to please him, make up for whatever hurt you caused him. So you kissed him again, this time feebly. His mouth, the side of his mouth, jaw bone, neck, collarbone, you kept showering him with careful kisses, licks and bites all over his upper body. He was brushing his hands lovingly on your back. It felt like this was the moment you've been waiting for your whole life, you were quite sure you wouldn't exist afterwards. When you were done bathing every inch of his upper body with your lips you looked up to see his face. His affectionate gaze was sending warm ripples down your stomach. You felt his hardness against you and you knew what you wanted to do. You started kissing your way down towards his crotch, and after a bit of fumbling, you slid his pants off of him. There he was in all his glory. Without wasting a second, you took his cock in your mouth completely, as far as you could. His breath hitched at your sudden action. You glided your mouth up and down while your tongue went in circular motion around his length. If he was the god there then you were his one true devotee and you wanted to worship him, please him like your life depended on it. You heard him grunt softly and that made you soak through your panties. You could feel his body tense up, his breathing starting to get more and more rushed. You would finish him off like that if it weren't for his hands reaching down to cup your face and pull you up back on top of him. None of you were talking but it felt like you were communicating with him more than you've done with anybody before. He took your top off in a languid motion, followed by your bra. Your bare skin flush against his, like your body was on fire.

He eyed you up and down slowly, and uttered “you're beautiful”. You wished you could reply and say something but you were too out of your mind to do so. You only kissed him in return. After another fervent make out session, you pulled away, breathless. You were starting to get needy again as you felt your stomach slowly tightening up. He then pushed his back upwards in a clumsy way and sat up on the edge of the bed. You looked up to him and he looked celestial. At this point you weren't thinking anymore, everything you were doing was purely instinctual. He reached his right hand out to you and you took it. With one fluent motion he pulled you up and pinned you on the bed. He was now on top of you, staring down. You could see a glimpse of hunger in his eyes but his kind smile felt otherwise. It was him now who bathed your body with kisses. He lovingly took one of your nipples in his mouth and stroked the other one with his hand. With his warm tongue working on your nipple and his soft curls tickling your breast, you were quite sure you were in heaven. But you were getting impatient and you wanted to feel him inside of you. Unknowingly to you, your hips went up to grind against him as you whined sensually. He looked up at you and chuckled softly. You felt your cheeks warm up from embarrassment. But he complied with your will and helped you out of your pants and underwear. Now there was nothing between the two of you. He came up to face you as he positioned himself at your entrance. Your body felt like it would turn to dust at any moment. Your vision was hazy but you could swear his angelic beauty lit up the whole room. You felt like you were drowning in his eyes. But your reverie broke as he entered your body, filling you in. You wrapped your legs around his hips and your arms around him. Your back arched up like a cat as he quickly found a rhythm and started hitting the right spot. Waves of pure bliss started to take over your whole body as your core started building up. You were a moaning mess under him, and his grunts felt like music to your ears. He was navigating the boat and you were just riding. He picked up the pace and became more and more aggressive. You could feel him smothering your cheeks, neck and breast with kisses. But honestly you couldn't tell anymore, you could only feel the waves rising and the tension building. Building and building and with a final hit, it all came undone. You came crashing down a mountain top but it felt euphoric. Your eyes rolled back somewhere into my skull. You could feel his tongue in your mouth, as his thrusts became more and more sloppy until it finally halted. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, and you could feel his warm fluid fill your insides.

When you opened your eyes, you were a panting and sweating mess. He pulled out of you slowly and rolled over to your side. He was equally as messy as you were. You turned on your side to face him. He was smiling at you coyly and in that moment it felt like you've known him for eternity. He was practically gleaming in the afterglow. As you were slowly coming down from the high a very embarrassing realization hit you. You didn't know his name. You just fucked someone you didn't even know the name of. You were becoming red with shame and he noticed.

“What's wrong?”, his voice filled with genuine concern. You were seriously considering if you should ask him that at this point. But you did,

-“I- um... what's your name?”

-“Vladek” he said softly and in that moment he looked so beautiful that you were afraid you'd go blind. Yet in his beauty there was this delicacy, this vulnerability. For some reason you felt like he didn't have much time left on his hands. As if he had to go back from where he came. He looked too vulnerable for this world and you had a very bad feeling.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

I would like to know your theories for Ogata we know that he represses his guilt and all his human feelings, I think that repressing allows him to cope because if he stops repressing he will have to face everything he has done, do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side? If that happens I can't imagine his reaction, because when you realize you've done such horrible things you can sometimes stop trying to survive, do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

Well...

I would say for sure Ogata represses his guilt as this seems to be the whole point of his Yuusaku hallucinations and nightmares and overall a central thematic in his character due to what happened in chap 165.

Repression is, after all, nothing else but a defence mechanism that ensures that what is unacceptable to the conscious mind, and would, if recalled, generate anxiety or pain or other unpleasant emotion, will remain in the unconscious so of course Ogata has to repress guilt. Even the fact Yuusaku’s face isn’t clearly visible is, in itself, a hint of how he tries not to ‘see him’ even in his memories/hallucination.

Of course I wouldn’t say Ogata represses all his emotions. We see him angry or annoyed or worried or proud of himself but with human feelings I think you mean the noble feelings like guilt, love, caring, empathy and so on, right?

Now... I wouldn’t put it on the moral perspective.

I think Ogata started repressing guilt from when he killed his mother but likely he didn’t repress his guilt because he felt he had done an amoral thing, but because he actually loved the woman and missed her and regretted killing her for basically nothing as his father didn’t came back to her. In a way the fact he loved her and yet he killed her can also be what has stunned his ability to form emotional connection. The bond between a mother and a child is a big thing and yet due to her insanity his mother rejected it and he ended up severed it. And the bond between him and his father never got a chance to form itself as the man rejected him and again Ogata had to severe that bond.

It’s no real surprise he’s not prone to form emotional bonds after the two most important bonds in his life ended with rejection and death.

There’s also to say at the time in which Ogata lived insane people more often than not lived with the family who would them provide to keep them jailed somewhere in a basement or in a room in the house, or that would conveniently lose them up on some wild mountain (basically they would take them there and abandon them there to die).

In short discreetly dispose of someone insane wasn’t viewed as ‘amoral’ and it’s meaningful once Hanazawa learnt Ogata killed his insane mother he doesn’t condemn it for that, even though it would have been very convenient for him.

The whole thing coped with the military brainwashing he underwent later, likely affected his ability to emotionally connect with the people he killed... until he met Yuusaku who somehow managed to get under his skin a little since Ogata keeps on being haunted by him.

But again accepting this would mean accepting the guilt he felt for his mother’s death so Yuusaku is sacrificed on the same altar that’s supposed to lead him to have his father ‘come back home’... only for him to discover later on it was all for nothing and the man had never cared about his mother or him.

Yuusaku in a way is the wall and the bridge between himself and the guilt for his mother’s death.

And then Asirpa shows up and Asirpa is a mix of his mother and Yuusaku.

It’s easy to see her approach with Ogata is the one of a mother figure, she does what his mother didn’t do, accept the birds he hunt and cook them, she feeds him (and the others) like children but, at the same time, she also love a man who loves another woman like how her mother loved a married man.

At the same time Asirpa shares traits with Yuusaku, she refuses to kill, she’s the daughter of a ‘soldier’ who plan to use her in his war as some sort of idol to lead men.

And it’s interesting Ogata gives her a chance to destroy him, telling her to kill him. She would be the mother who destroys the child she has generated, the brother that proves him everyone is capable to kill without regret.

But she’s also someone he’s not capable to kill.

On the ice field he points his rifle at her and just... stalls. If he had wanted to kill her all he had to do was to push the trigger and she would have died before Sugimoto had the time to scream.

And then there are two circumstances once he’s back in Hokkaido in which he thinks it would be convenient to kill her and... can’t.

After Noda built all this I would expect him to resolve this situation by forcing Ogata to face Yuusaku, accept he can’t kill Asirpa and that all this is tied to him also feeling guilt for what he has done to the people he loved, for having lost them, for having been unable to save his mother and bring his father home.

How will Ogata cope with this?

Well, Ogata knows he has done something ‘wrong’, what he has repressed isn’t what he has done, but the feeling attached to it.

He hadn’t made an excuse for his action, he just had a reason for them.

So accepting his guilt it’s kind of different from people suddently realizing they did something bad (like suddently discovering you’ve killed your beloved mother) and it might not affect how he perceives all his kills as I don’t think guilt will abruptly fall on him for all he did.

I’m more expecting him to feel guilty for the people he actually had an emotional connection with, as small as it could have been.

In itself Ogata has already shown borderline suicidal tendencies in the sense he didn’t kill himself but took unnecessary deadly risk as if completely okay with betting his own life even when unneeded and losing said bet, as if living and dying amounted to more or less the same.

We see it when he exposes himself to Tanigaki in chap 5, or when he plays bait with Vasily in chap 17, but even better when he tells Asirpa to kill him or when, instead than flattening himself against the horse, he raises himself and stretches his arms offering a better target to Sugimoto.

In this he’s a bit similar to Sekiya, who didn’t kill himself but wanted to be killed by God or Nihei who wanted to die fighting in the wilderness or Henmi who also wanted to die fighting for his life.

Ogata seems to want to die in action, challenging his enemies.

Would cope with his guilt make him even more suicidal?

It’s hard to say.

Many expect this to hit him hard when it’ll happen, possibly with him breaking down and cry but it can also come as a slow realization... though with the series being about to end I’m not sure how much time he has for this... but Noda might aim at planting the ember of a realization, not go for a full understanding complete with intensive coping and, possibly, healing.

Overall I see the idea Ogata might face his guilt and that Ogata might meet his own death as two separate problems.

I don’t think facing his guilt will make him more suicidal but he might decide to get involved in a basically suicidal mission to avoid having something else to feel guilty about... if it makes sense.

Basically if you realize that something makes you feel guilty and feeling guilty is something painful and you can’t repress that feeling you might find another way to fight it... whcih might be too risky for you to survive to it but it’s not seeking death, it’s just trying not to do something you’ll regret.

Now... I personally would prefer if Ogata were not to be conveniently killed in a heroic act like in many redemption storylines but live, learn to cope with his feelings and his actions and make up for what he has done but that’s just me.

I prefer people to start working improving the world than them being merely put out of it.

Anyway to sum it up...

1) do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side?

I think for sure he’ll have to face his guilt, which means to connect with his ‘human side’. No idea how long that connection will last though and how deep it will be. It can be just him acknowledging he was wrong in his belief and that he actually regret what he did. It might be him still trying to reject this notion as it’s painful. It might be him managing to improve positively from this realization.

So far Noda didn’t go for complete heel turn but for slow changing so if Noda were to have him take a more positive approach to life we probably won’t see it unless there’s a flash forward.

2) do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

I don’t think he’ll kill himself out of this relization but he might take a decision that might bring him to meet his death out of it as a consequence.

We’ll see though. Noda poured a lot of care on him. Of course it’s possible he’ll ruin him at the last moment, it can happen, but I still hope he’ll handle Ogata well. It’s too early to tell though as we’ve only scratched the surface of who Ogata is and what he wants.

We’ll need more info to judge.

Thank you for your ask!

[mamichigo]

Title: glass bottles

Pairing: Kokichi/Shuichi

Rating: G

Word count: 2,1k

Tags: Fantasy, Fairytale Elements, Phantom Thief Thief Kokichi (with a twist), First kiss

Summary: Shuichi has something of his stolen in the quiet of night, by a boy with mischief in his eyes.

Notes: Gift for participant #29 in the @kokichigiftexchange

*

Shuichi had seen them only briefly. One glimpse of a large smile with sharp teeth and purple eyes that seemed to glow. They were light on their feet, quiet as the night as they made it inside Shuichi's room on their tiptoes, like a particularly graceful ballerina. Shuichi didn't have a chance to speak up before the person raised a hand and blew glittering powder into his face. He had collapsed on the spot, but not before the mysterious person supported his swaying body by keeping a hand on his back and another to the back of his head.

The next morning, Shuichi woke up with glitter in his hair and on his fingers, along with a sense that something had gone wrong. Or, like something had gone missing.

He didn't realize the source of that impression until his friend, noticing Shuichi failed to react at all to upsetting events, joked that maybe his emotions had been snatched while he wasn't looking. Kaede had also been startled when he pinned her with an intense gaze and agreed with a terse nod.

"Is it really possible to steal someone's emotions?" Shuichi asked.

Kaede, never one to ignore even his silliest remarks when he was serious about it, put a hand to her chin. "It's not impossible around these parts. I might have heard something like that before, but it's more of a story to scare children than an existing fact."

"But we can't say for sure it doesn't exist?"

"That's right."

Satisfied, Shuichi relented and allowed the topic to change. As soon as he was done, Shuichi set out to research if there was any chance that he had been robbed of his emotions after all. After days of talking to more people than he was comfortable with, Shuichi found somewhat of a specialist (or so that was what he claimed to be). He had an oppressing, almost scary aura to him, but the man spoke of tails that made Shuichi go a little bit starry-eyed.

"Spirits are quite the trick loving bunch," Korekiyo explained over a cup of tea, "perhaps to compensate for what they didn't have the chance to do in life."

"So they're dead…?"

Though Shuichi couldn't see Korekiyo's mouth, he was sure he was smiling somewhat mockingly. "Yes, that would be the logical conclusion."

Shuichi hummed and looked down at his hands. Maybe he'd feel a little sad for this person, if they hadn't stolen his ability to do so.

"Is there any chance for me to find them?"

"Luckily for you, I have many reasons to believe you've encountered a spirit I'm already familiar with."

From the subsequent long monologue that he listened to, Shuichi extracted two important pieces of information: go north, find the closed orphanage that stands at the top of the hill; and, his little robber was apparently a boy who called himself a phantom thief. Or rather, the Phantom Thief, capitalized. Shuichi was doubtful that was his true name.

Nonetheless, Shuichi set out just as instructed. On the sunset of the next day, Shuichi had found himself facing the building that looked a bit like an abandoned church rather than an orphanage, if only because all the windows were stained glass colored vibrant red and pink, for the most part. Shuichi squinted at the building as he struggled to catch his breath.

Though Korekiyo had believed the opposite, Shuichi didn't feel safe, after all. Even a village kid as him knew the stories about people who encountered spirits and never came back afterwards, and knew even more of the ones who returned but not as themselves. Shuichi clutched the sleeves of his shirt.

While he pondered if he should go in or not, the doors slammed open on their own. A giggling voice could be heard, distant; a whistle of the wind. Shuichi tensed up, but shrugged to himself. That was as much of a friendly invitation as he would get, he decided.

The atmosphere inside the orphanage was strange, but perhaps only because he passed rows and more rows of open bedrooms, with beds as small as the ones he used to have in his room when he was nothing but a child. The place was covered in dust and debris, as well as wildlife, like it had been standing so long it was now splitting at the seams.

Though Shuichi was sure he had been wandering without aim, his feet took him to the only room that seemed lived in, to a sense. The dining hall had a table in the middle that went on for miles, and it was the first object Shuichi saw in here that was not dirty. It was also lined with candles in fancy candelabra, making the room just a bit too warm.

The room changed once he stepped properly into it. The bare, rotting walls were now covered in an intricate, elegant wallpaper; the table was surrounded by too tall chairs with plushy looking cushions; the table itself was now full of plates of all kinds of sweets that Shuichi had never seen before. At the center of it all, a carefully balanced tower of beautiful glass vials, adorned with flowers or stars or wings.

Finally, at the head of the table, swimming in his chair, sat a boy who watched him predatorily. Shuichi recognized his teeth first, bared in a childish smile. His face was framed by swirls of red paint, but the rest of his attire was perfectly pure white.

"Phantom Thief," Shuichi greeted.

"So you already know who I am," the Phantom Thief drawled his words, pleased with this outcome. "I'm so glad you went through the trouble of finding me!"

Guessing it was alright to do so, Shuichi sat on the opposite side of the table. The glass tower in the middle obstructed their vision, and they both inclined their heads at the same time to look at each other.

"Of course I did, you have something of mine," Shuichi said, straight to the point.

The Phantom Thief pouted. "We could've made a game out of it, you didn't need to say that right away." He heaved a forlorn sigh. "The rudeness of it all."

"Game?"

"Of course, I love games. Don't you?"

"Occasionally."

The Phantom Thief nodded twice, then dipped his finger into the nearest platter of food. He stuck his finger into his mouth, and promptly spat out whatever it was he just ate.

"Let's talk business, then," the Phantom announced magnanimously. "You're here for what I've stolen from you, is that right?"

"Yes."

"And what are you willing to do to have it back?"

Shuichi blinked. "I don't have to do anything since it's rightfully mine."

There was a stunned silence, followed by loud laughter. The Phantom Thief clutched his sides and his head dipped out of sight for several moments, but Shuichi could imagine the amused expression that was currently on his face.

"That's not how it works here, sorry." He didn't sound apologetic at all. "You have to try harder than that if you want your flask back."

Immediately, Shuichi's eyes were drawn to the glass standing between them. The Phantom Thief applauded him.

"That's right, that's where it is!"

The Phantom Thief stood up and turned to face his chair, then he put one foot up on it, followed by the other. He climbed onto the cushion, then the table with the nimble movements Shuichi just vaguely remembered from their first encounter.

"You see, this wasn't my first heist," the Phantom spoke while he kicked food, delicate china and expensive cutlery aside with the tip of his shoes. He walked to the middle of the table until he could reach for the vials shining in the candlelight. "Yours wasn't all that difficult to catch, either. But it's very special to me, so I can't give it back so easily."

The vial at the very top, placed in the spot of honor, was removed from the overall tower by the Phantom's hands, then held to his chest as if cradling a child.

"So, what is your proposition?"

Shuichi frowned as he watched the navy blue liquid inside slosh. He wondered what would happen if it fell, then broke. Shuichi clutched his hands to his knees.

"What could you possibly see in my sadness?" Shuichi inquired, and if he sounded miffed, well. He was. "Wouldn't it be more rewarding to steal someone's happiness?"

The Phantom contorted his face into a grimace. It made the paint on his cheek distort disturbingly.

"For the record, we don't steal anyone's happiness. That's against the rules." He tilted his head. "Right?"

The question wasn't directed at him. He saw nine heads, nine people all dressed similar to the Phantom Thief, nod in agreement then disappear before Shuichi could process that he wasn't hallucinating. He shuddered as he realized he was being watched by whoever those people were.

"I suppose that's fair," Shuichi conceded. He added, mildly, "But that doesn't explain why you did it, and why you won't return it to me."

The Phantom Thief rolled the flask in his hands and spun a circle himself as he went over the question.

"You wouldn't remember anyway," the Phantom decided.

"Enlighten me."

The Phantom was slightly taken aback by the response, a small stumble to his steps a proof of it.

"...Huh." The Phantom thought and thought, and finally said, "You felt sadness for me."

Shuichi furrowed his head. He was sure he wouldn't have forgotten about an encounter like that.

"When?"

"In a dream."

The Phantom decided to continue his track, this time towards Shuichi. There was more clatter as everything in his path was damaged beyond use. He came to stand above Shuichi, chin tilted up as he looked down on Shuichi.

"Or maybe I'm lying,?" The Phantom Thief challenged. "You'll have to find out yourself, all you have to do is remember. Now, I'll be taking this--"

Shuichi grabbed his ankle before the Phantom could turn on his heels. The Phantom tested the strength of his grip, but didn't try to break free.

"What do you want?" Shuichi asked.

"Oh?"

"We could strike a bargain."

The Phantom smiled in clear self-satisfaction, and from this angle it looked especially cat-like.

"Aren't you the courageous type," the Phantom complimented.

"It can't be anything too bad," Shuichi defied, but the words weren't convincing even to himself.

"You're so lucky I have just the thing in mind today, and it should cause you little to no pain, as long as you don't struggle too much." The Phantom Thief bent down, and suddenly he was crouching and leaning close to Shuichi. "How about it?"

"I'd like to hear what it is, first."

The Phantom Thief giggled. "Alright." He tilted the vial this and that way, showing it up to Shuichi. He inched himself a tad bit closer. "I'll give you your precious emotions, the one I've been treasuring… I'll give it to you, as long as you kiss me in return."

Shuichi couldn't help but gape. He was back to clutching his knees, for an entirely different reason. 

"...Is that all?" Shuichi choked.

"You're blushing," The Phantom pointed out without mercy. He watched Shuichi as his face went through the full spectrum of the color red. "So, what will it be? Take it or leave it, I won't take any other bargains, and I won't wait forever. Tick tock, Shuichi."

Shuichi swallowed dryly, and, with his head blessedly blank, pushed himself up by the chair's armrest, and his head met the Phantom's halfway. Shuichi expected him to be cold, to be a corpse covered by a porcelain face, but the Phantom was warm and pliant above him. The Phantom's hands trembled and Shuichi had to grab for the vial before it fell. The sudden touch of skin on skin broke Shuichi's thread of reason, and his other hand found the Phantom's hair and stroked the back of his head.

The Phantom's lips tasted of nothing. Shuichi exhaled softly and found some echo of a distant memory, not his own. Shuichi pulled back, vial in hand.

"Was that enough?" Shuichi asked, voice hoarse.

The Phantom was unresponsive for a beat. Then, he leaped forward, kissed the corner of Shuichi's mouth and demanded, "Call me Kokichi."

"I can do that."

Without a moment's delay, Shuichi downed the contents of the glass vials. It went down like a block of ice. Shuichi watched Kokichi from the corner of his eyes, and the boy did the same.

"This won't be the last you'll see of me, you know," Kokichi commented.

"I'm not afraid."

Kokichi smiled, sharp teeth in his mouth and glitter at the corner of his eyes, with a mess of a hair that framed his innocent looking face.

"Good, I won't stop until I have your heart."

Shuichi chose not to reply. As he left Kokichi standing alone atop the table, too small among the too big furniture, Shuichi could finally feel the stab of sadness that came from the sight. 

[scripttorture]

I perused your solitary tag but didn't get the answers I needed so sorry in advance if this is something you've answered or way too long and specific! Thanks so much for doing this! So I have an MC who was kept in solitary for about 10-11 months when she was seventeen after her father was executed for treason and she tried to complete his goal. She failed but has a plan for how to kill the person who executed him. She is kept on a regular schedule, given any art materials and books she wants 1/?

2/2 and allowed to see her mother for an hour for one hour everyday. She knows her isolation will end in a year, knows shell probably be executed, and she has a cause like you mentioned being important. Immediately following her lock up she was thrust into a variety of stressful but social situations but about two and a half years later it's slowing down. She lives with her gf, but is far away from her mother and not close with many of her friends. What long type of term effects would she have?

Iknow this is no one’s favourite answer but- it really is hugelyindividual and impossible to accurately predict.

Fromthe details you’ve given me I get the impression you’ve thoughtabout this scenario and this character a lot. That’s will help youdecide on the symptoms you want her to have. But those symptoms areyour decision.

Ican tell you what the common symptoms are. What I can’t do ispredict symptoms, no one can. I also can’t tell you definitelywhich symptoms will be the ‘best’ pick for your story. You knowthe story and the character far better then I do. That means you’rebest places to judge what adds to the story and what doesn’t.

Ithink it would be best to start by picking the character’s symptomsand go from there.

Mostpapers put either depression or anxiety (or both) as the most commonmental illnesses solitary confinement causes. From what I can tellpolitical prisoners also report these conditions very frequently.However I get the impression (anecdotal rather than based onstatistical analysis) that political prisoners are less likely toself harm or attempt suicide then the average solitary prisoner.

Difficultyinteracting with people is probablymore common in younger solitary survivors. The brain is still growingand we arestill learning social interaction throughout our teenage years. Sonot being able to interact with others during that time is reallydamaging to someone’s social development.

I’msaying ‘probably’ because I don’t have good statisticalanalysis focused solely on teenagers in solitary.

But-well based on what I do know about normal social development andbrain growth, I think it’s highly likely she’d struggle withsocial interaction. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she’d beanxious around people, although that would be a common way for thisto show up. It’s often a…. feeling of isolation, disconnectionfrom others and being unable to engage in ways that are seen associally acceptable.

Itcould mean social interaction is draining or often unrewarding. Itcould mean ‘always’ doing or saying the ‘wrong’ thing ineveryday situations. It could mean a feeling of constant pressurearound others and misinterpreting their social responses.

Ithink irrational impulses and mood swings can be really narrativelyuseful symptoms. They fit well in a lot of different kinds of plotsand they can easily be used to make life more difficult forcharacters in interesting ways.

Psychosisand hallucinations are rarer symptoms generally. They also mightbe less likely if cell conditions are better (theevidence is unclear on this point).Which sounds like it’s the case for your character.

Thisalso seems to apply to some of the physical symptoms, particularlyeye problems. Insomnia and lethargy seem to show up however ‘good’cell conditions are. And I’d suggest considering the other physicalsymptoms for the period the character is confined.

Thetime frames you have don’t seem unreasonable to me. Neither do thegeneral conditions.

Themain thing that’s standing out is the set up after she’sreleased. Being suddenly thrown into intense social situations wouldbe incredibly stressful. For some people just out of solitary itmight be impossible to deal with and trigger an obvious breakdown.

Nowthat doesn’t seem like a fit for your story and there are otherpossibilities.

Theone that’s coming to mind is- Sometimes people with mentalillnesses can… for want of a better term ‘push through it’ fora short time. This is incredibly unhealthy. It’s a little likeignoring a fracture in the foot to keep walking. It can be done butit makes the problem worse.

I’m-not entirely sure how to describe this which is somewhat hampering myability to explain it. I’m thinking of things like- the number ofpeople I knew with severe depression and suicidal ideation whocompleted competitive, high-pressure degrees, without medication orprofessional help.

Itis possible, sometimes, for people to just… keep going, ignoretheir mental health problems and try to ‘act normal’. If they’revery good at what they’redoing then there may not even be a noticeable drop in performance,whether it’s academic or social. People do this, it happens. It’snot unrealistic.

But-this is incredibly badfor someone. Having a character with severe mental health problemstry to bottle them away or hide them or power through them- it isn’ta bad thing to write. Just be aware that if that’s the route youwant to take it will be damaging for the character. She’ll bepushing herself too far too fast and sooner or later she willcollapse.

Fora lot of the people I knew that happened at the end of their degree.If your character knows roughly how long she’ll have to keep upthis mad social schedule then- it is possiblethat she could keep going right until the end.

Ifyour character is doing something like that over several years then Ithink she’d need some kind of outlet and the ability to retreatfrom social situations at least some times.

Thisdoesn’t have to be dramatic or seem strange in the setting. It canbe things like- establishing a daily routine that involves getting upearly and walking alone in the woods for an hour before having to doanything or taking time to herself at night after her obligations areover. Little things like this and small outlets for unpleasantemotions can keep someone with a mental health problem alive in astressful situation.

Oncethese social obligations are over- Honestly I think it sounds likelythat someone in this situation would have an obvious breakdown. Thatsort of bottling, avoiding behaviour often ends up… bringing thingsto a point when all the problems seem to explode at once.

Essentiallysurvivors need to make adjustments in order to live their lives.They’re generally not able to just pick everything up again asnormal. Their limits, physical, mental and emotional are oftendifferent. (It’s also pretty normal for survivors and people withmental health problems generally to blame themselves to a degree fortheir limits changing. To feel bad about no longer being able to do aparticular things, as if it’s somehow their fault.)

Yourcharacter could put off those adjustments and live in denial for awhile. A lot of people with mental health problems do. But shecouldn’t put off those adjustments forever.

Thissort of scenario would probably end up putting a lot of pressure onher girlfriend to act as a carer. Whether her girlfriend is willingto or not that’s a lot of work. It’s difficult to do alone. @scripttraumasurvivors has posts on characters helping traumasurvivors in a non-professional context, take a look through theirtag because I think you’d find them helpful.

Ifyou don’t want thecharacter to be bottling everything up and powering through likethis- Then you’d have a healthier, better adjusted character at theend of the two and a half years. You’d also need a world that’smore supportive of mental health problems.

Soa- non exhaustive list of things that I think this society would needto normalise would be things like- letting her drop out of socialengagements suddenly with no warning and no negative repercussions.Greater understanding of different peoples differing needs forpersonal space. Physical adjustments to spaces to make them moreaccessible. Social acceptance of expressing negative emotions andemotional pain. Open, honest discussion of mental health.

Alot of this would be possible in a culture that’s in roughly thesame place the West is now about mental health- if the character’smother was managing this sort of thing for her. Making sure she’sdoing OK, encouraging her to stop if she isn’t. Insisting on anyadjustments or consideration she needs. Standing up for her.

Thatkind of role for her mother would require a very close relationshipbetween the characters. The daughter would need to feel that shecould tell her mother anything and share details about her mentalhealth.

Thecommon symptoms are here. But what those look like in the longterm for your character are really dependant on the story, thecharacter, her relationships with the people close to her and theworld.

Givenher age and the time she’s confined this character would probablyhave mental health problems for the rest of her life. That doesn’tmean she’d never learn to manage her symptoms. Part of that isusually a process of trial and error, trying to find out what helps.Sometimes the only answer is waiting until the mood passes.

Takea look at the Masterpost and have a look at the sources I link tothere. I think reading what people who’ve come out of solitary sayabout the experience will help you feel more confident about handlingthis. Shalev’s Sourcebook on Solitary Confinement and SolitaryWatch will be particularly useful to you, I think.

Thereisn’t a formula. There isn’t a standard set of symptoms or waypeople heal. Which means that we should be working it out anew foreach character, making the process feel unique to each individual.

Ihope that helps. :)

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20 Banned Books you've probably read

Banning books from schools and libraries is a form of censorship that predominantly hurts the people that would benefit most from keeping the book(s) available. It is not up to a few to say what book is available to who. Making a choice for a group of people based on the decision of a small group is morally wrong in my opinion. There is a difference from a book being challenged, which probably happens to just about every book at one point, and banning, which is when the book is actually removed from a library or school. The following is a list of some of the best books ever written that were banned at one time or another.  

1. The Scarlet Letter by: Nathaniel Hawthorne (1850) A woman has an affair with a man of the church which results in a love child. As a punishment for her transgressions, she has to wear the scarlet letter “A” for Adulterer.  There were some that felt the author was too lenient in the character Hester and that she didn’t get what she deserved. There was complaint of immoral content and sympathy to the sins committed. Considering the time this was written, this one isn’t too surprising.   2. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865) My wedding was Alice in Wonderland themed so this is obviously one of my favorite books. This has had some controversy because of suggested drug use (eating mushrooms that change your size, a caterpillar smoking a hookah…) as well as speaking animals which is considered evil or something. It was banned in Hunan China for that reason in 1931 because of the way the animals acted like humans. The Censor General feared children would see animals and humans as equals and also believed allowing the animals to speak was offensive to humans. I have also read something about the author’s sexual preference, but that refers to Lewis Carroll, not the story.   3. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by: Mark Twain (1884) I enjoyed this book quite a bit growing up. I was oblivious to the racism in it as a child, but ultimately that is why it was banned. Now, of course racism isn’t ok, but during the time the story takes place (and at the time it was banned oddly enough), racism was a very large part of everyday life. Jim was Huck’s friend and seeing the way he was treated was cruel. Though, I personally feel it was showing the intensity of racism many feel like the book itself was racist. While it may have been called “trash”, it is now considered an American classic.   4. The Tale of Peter Rabbit by: Beatrix Potter (1902) When I saw this book was banned, I couldn’t think of a single thing that would do it besides the fact that Peter’s father was killed. That wasn’t it. This book was banned for portraying “Middle class rabbits”. Yep. I don’t even really know what that means, so while I technically know why the book has had controversy, I’m still really confused.   5. The Great Gatsby by: F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925) This was fairly recently made into a film that did well, and it’s a favorite of many readers, but this novel has had its fair share of complaints. The novel contains a sexual affair (which is never portrayed in detail), bad language, and violence, which is the formula to set people off. The novel is set during the prohibition where the drinking was heavy and the partying described was also considered uncomfortable to some.   6. Winnie the Pooh by: A.A. Milne (1926) Pooh? Pooh was banned? This one was a little all over the place. The talking animals being against God is brought up with this one as well. Piglet being a pig had some controversy over if it would offend Muslim children. One thing that blew my mind, was apparently pooh wore a swastika and was seen as a Nazi supporter. It’s been awhile since I’ve read it, but I don’t remember that.   7. Gone with the Wind by: Margaret Mitchell (1936) This is the only book on this list that I have never read, which is horrible considering I am a romance writer. I will remedy that soon, but that is neither here nor there. The book was primarily banned because of the racism and the way they treated slaves. Like I said, I haven’t read it, but I’m pretty sure slaves were never treated well, hence the name “slave”. As an author I strive for authenticity, and while slavery has never been acceptable, it did happen. Slaves were, in fact abused, so reading about it isn’t going to be pleasant.   8. Of Mice and Men by: J.D. Salinger (1937) I remember the effect this book had on me the first time I read it. While it was intense I still don’t feel as if I was too young to be reading it (around 12). A major complaint was that this book didn’t fit in with the age group it was being taught to in schools. There is bad language and violence, but another problem was that the book glorified euthanasia. That seems like a bit of a stretch to me, but ok.   9. The Catcher in the Rye by: J.D. Salinger (1951) The Character Holden is often compared to number three’s main character Huckleberry Finn. The book follows a teenager who has a pension for drinking (Underage) and a potty mouth. Those were two large reasons the book was banned combined with sexual content. While the book still faces controversy, it has come back from being banned and continues to have an influence on teenagers all over the United States.   10. Fahrenheit 451 by: Ray Bradbury (1953) Yeah, a book about burning/banning books was itself banned. No irony there. Yes, there is bad language, blasphemy, as well as the bible being burned, which is what lead to the banning, but I think the message of this one was lost on more than a few.   11. Lord of the Rings by: J.R.R. Tolkien (1954) This was another beloved book that spawned multiple, wildly popular films. One issue with this book is the smoking. The characters do smoke, from a pipe mostly, but if we ban all books with smoking in them… that is a lot of books. The magic involved is seen as witchcraft and un-Christian. What I find interesting is that apparently, J.R.R. Tolkien was not only a Catholic, but the book are said to be symbolic to Christianity. Similar to The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (with whom he was actually friends).   12. Lolita by: Vladimir Nabokov (1955) When I first heard what this book was about, I was shocked that it was put into print, but later found it was done so through a pornographic press.  When my curiosity got the best of me and I read it, I was stunned because it was so beautifully written. Yes, the story is about a pedophile that makes my skin crawl, and is infatuated with a twelve year old, but the truth is, it was so tastefully told that it didn’t make me as uncomfortable as it would have otherwise. Humbert Humbert was the narrator, and I hated him, but still, I loved the book. France, United Kingdom, Argentina, New Zealand and South Africa have all banned it for its obscenities and is was temporarily so in Canada.   13. Green Eggs and Ham by: Dr. Seuss (1960) I thought for sure we would have more talking animal issues, but the only complaint I have been able to find is that portrayed “early Marxism”. Dr. Seuss was open about the fact that he wanted kids to question their government. From what I can gather (because I had no idea what that meant), Marxism is a belief that our social class system, and the constant conflict between upper and lower class, is responsible for the way history has turned out. And apparently that’s why it was banned, but the ban has been lifted since the death of Dr. Seuss.   14. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by: Ken Kesey (1962) This book is pretty crazy. There is a lot of sexual material and has been called “pornographic”. Many parents and school boards have fought to get this removed from shelves. It was said to glorify immoral activity and the profanity, torture, and death was seen as inappropriate for high school students. Let me just say, the story is told by a character who is mentally ill, which I always saw as unique and eye-opening and is set in a mental hospital so it isn’t going to be gumdrops and unicorns.   15. Where the Wild Things Are by: Maurice Sendak (1963) The fact that any childhood is without this book is sad to me, but when I saw why this book was banned, I had to laugh. Because Max was sent to bed without his supper, apparently his hunger sent him into hallucinations of monsters, and is “psychologically damaging” to young children. Really? Because he missed one meal? The book made it clear that Max has an active imagination and was rambunctious hence why his mother called him “Wild Thing”.   16. Where the Sidewalk Ends by: Shel Silverstein (1974) This book is a fantastic compilation of poems that often have the message to not listen to everything you are told, and use your imagination. A lot of parents and teachers don’t like that message because they believe it teaches them to be disrespectful. It was also accused of having references of suicide, Satanism, and drug use. There is one poem called “Dreadful” about the baby being eaten and the narrator burps at the end insinuating he ate the baby. Ok, maybe it’s a little disturbing, but children are just going to find it funny and amusing, not resort to cannibalism as some parents were concerned would happen.   17. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (1991)  In Australia, the book may be purchased by someone over the age of eighteen, but at one point in the State of Queensland sale and purchase of the novel was illegal. The story is of a man who is extremely concerned with how the world sees him is also a sadistic killer. It was a concern that the book would bring about violence. Simon and Schuster dropped the title three months before the book was scheduled to be released because of a lot of pushback from the media. The problem people had was with the inner dialogue of Bateman, but when you write, the characters become their own entity in a sense. That was who Bateman was, and being true to the characters and their story is the art of storytelling.      18. Harry Potter Series by: J.K. Rowling (1997 -2007) The most common problem with these books, is the fact that the characters are good witches and wizards that perform magic. Since religious teachings say witchcraft, demons, sorcery, etc. are a sin against God, they feel this is confusing to children because the [main] characters are seen a good. The themes in the book can get somewhat dark and there were concerns that it would be too intense for children. However, the millions of adolescent Harry Potter fans would probably disagree. Another problem is the fact that Harry and his friends lie, sneak around, steal, and break other rules to accomplish what they are doing in the story. Parents were upset that he never got in trouble, but that’s probably because the headmaster was in on it half the time.   19. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by: Stephen Chbosky (1999) This is a novel about teenagers coming of age. The sexual content is the main concern, especially the witnessing of date rape. There were complaints by parents for drug and alcohol use…did I mention the book was about teenagers? The mention of masturbation was reason for some controversy (Again…teenagers). What really got me, is the fact that people were appalled that homosexuality is even mentioned in the book. Like homosexuality is some terrible thing. You want to talk about offensive… and this was published less than twenty years ago.   20. Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy (2011-2012) Compared to the other books on this list, this isn’t exactly surprising, but I primarily read and write within the same genre as FSOG, and this book is like the training wheels for the genre. I kind of have to wonder what these people would say about books like “Captive in the Dark”. It was taken out of libraries for immoral content and sadism. They don’t want pornography or erotica in their libraries, and there were also concerns of the character’s religious views. It’s no secret what these books are about (Hot young Billionaire + Virginal young woman + mild BDSM= Book), so if someone wants to read it should be available for them to do so.   These are the books that have shaped us (Well, maybe with the exception of number twenty) and if these books aren’t safe, I don’t know that any books are. I am a proud reader of banned books and will do my part to fight censorship in any way possible.   *What would you add to the list? Did you enjoy this post? I would love to hear from you!     Charity B.