#like. I'm sorry but I can't get behind a romance where one person doesn't know basic facts about the other

[clfixationstation]

one thing that I will criticize about Mikasa's character is that she doesn't understand Eren's (and Armin's) dream at all. The only insight we're offered into Mikasa's perspective of their dream is that she doesn't understand it and doesn't know what they're going on about. Like?? She doesn't get Eren's basic motivations?? Unless I completely missed something, Mikasa doesn't know that Eren wanted to explore an unoccupied world with Armin or that he desires 'freedom'. Which again, are Eren's base-level motivations. And she just. Isn't allowed to know??

[jeongheart]

super shy

summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?

w.c: 7.1k.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.

a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!

It was there again.

Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.

The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.

However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.

After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.

He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.

The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.

Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.

'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).

Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:

Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.

I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.

Fondly,'

And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.

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He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.

His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.

"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.

"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.

Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

You didn't answer him.

Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.

"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.

"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.

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You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.

It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.

Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).

Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.

Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"

You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.

From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.

You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.

"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.

"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.

Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.

"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.

Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.

"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.

You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.

"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.

After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."

Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.

You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!

While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.

You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).

He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.

"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.

"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.

"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.

Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."

You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.

When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.

"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.

"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.

"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.

Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.

"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.

You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.

You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.

The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.

The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.

You liked him a little too much.

His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.

That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.

You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.

At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.

And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.

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Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.

Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."

At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.

"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.

"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"

Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."

“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.

Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."

You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.

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If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?

Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?

No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.

The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.

"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.

You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.

Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"

His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.

Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.

Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.

The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.

Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.

"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.

Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."

Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.

You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.

If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.

"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.

Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.

You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.

"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.

Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.

Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."

His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.

You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.

As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."

The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.

You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.

Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.

Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."

You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.

In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.

Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.

"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"

You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.

Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.

"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"

Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.

His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.

"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"

You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.

"It's me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.

Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.

Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."

As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.

After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.

Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."

You blinked in surprise.

Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.

Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."

You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.

With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"

Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."

As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.

"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."

"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."

Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.

And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"

Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"

You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."

[usmsgutterson]

Hi! Could I request an Aaron Warner x fem!reader where reader is always flustered when Aaron flirts with her and one day she flirts back with Kenji. Aaron is frustrated (and obv jealous), he didn’t know it was a joke between them and he confronts her about it. This time she’s the one teasing him cause he’s jealous and then LOVE CONFESSIONNN

Thank you!! And sorry if it’s too long

So Am I- A.W x fem! reader

All right, hi! Again, I am so sorry about how long this took and I hope you like it in spite of that.

As I did with your last request, this is a headcanon/fic combo--I wrote out the headcanons first and then turned the confession into a fic because writing it that way is just easier on me when my motivation is somewhat lacking lol

Fic type- this is fluff with angst but only if you squint

Warnings- none!

Okay, so!!

You and Kenji are exactly the kind of friends who flirt but like,, platonically

it's never anything too serious--at most, it's typically just stuff like: "Lookin' good, L/N!" or just random compliments, the occasional wink here or there

also, on another note, Kenji is definitely the type of person to either bring up or agree to marry his best friend if they're both still single at 30

it's lighthearted bantering that you guys do for the hell of it, and it generally gave you both a bit of a laugh so it brightened the mood significantly while you were with him when things got bad at Omega Point and stuff with the Resistance

HOWEVER

when Aaron flirts with you???

it's not platonic (you're in love with him)

it's never platonic (he's also very deeply in love with you)

you ALWAYS, ALWAYS get just a bit flustered around him

kenji teases you for it RELENTLESSLY too because he finds it to be the funniest thing in the world??

"C'mon, Y/N! Warner saying that your eyes look nice in the sun can't just be platonic. He's in love with you and he's flirting! Flirt back and let me officiate your wedding."

"Did Warner flirt with you again??" He asked one time as he caught Aarons back fading from view as he walked away and noticed you standing there, a loving look in your gaze as you watched him go. "Oh, shit, Y/N. You are in so deep."

Warner doesn't really know that you and Kenji flirt platonically, so when he does hear that for the first time, this is how it goes:

"Lookin' good, L/N!" Kenji called out as the two of you passed each other in a hallway, Kenji likely going to visit Castle while you were in search of his daughter.

"This from you, Kenji? You look flawless."

TO YOU, that was where the interaction ended--a bit of harmless flirting, words of encouragement to keep one another on your feet.

whereas warner?? warner was like "Okay, gotta confess my feelings now and see where that goes."

He, however, is a gentleman who finds you in your room that night, and the confession goes as well as Aaron could've hoped--better than that.

Aaron finds you in your room, back against the wall, blanket tossed over your lap and a book in hand. A candle had been lit to keep the room lit well after you were meant to have been sleeping, and when you saw him enter after knocking and you'd said it was fine, you gave him a grin and set the book in your lap.

"Hi," you greet. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Aaron says, closing the door behind him as he steps into the room. "I have something to talk about, is all."

You glance at your book, and Aaron has to fight a grin as he watches you grimace at the cover.

"This book sucks anyway," you tell him, nodding. "Say your peace, please. Anything to distract me from this god awful prose."

Aaron laughs, and your heart gives way to a funny little flip.

"I love you," he says, figuring it best to just rip the bandaid off. "I'm in love with you, and I have been practically since we met. I was content to just wallow in it forever but you and Kenji were flirting and my insecurities got the best of me, so here I am, pouring my heart out like some fool in a romance novel."

"Aaron," you say, laughing a little as you say his name. "Kenji and I aren't romantically involved, I promise. We flirt from time to time but that's just been something we've done all our friendship--it's kept spirits up in the worst of times because we find it hilarious. I'm in love with you too, and I tended not to engage with your flirting because every time you flirted, my heart kicked off into a racing pace and I almost forgot how to breathe."

Aaron can't help the way that his eyebrows raise or the surprised expression on his face, which makes you laugh and in turn makes his heart race just a bit.

"Do you want to stay the night?" You ask. "We can talk, maybe go to see if theres any tea left in the kitchens."

Aaron steps forward, takes your hands and sits down beside you on your bed, glad that he'd decided to change into sweatpants and a shirt before coming to confess his feelings.

"Kenji is going to lose his mind," you say, laughing a bit as Aaron wraps an arm around your shoulder and you let him pull you close. "He's been telling me to get on with it for a year at this point, to confess my feelings, but I've not found the strength. I was afraid I wouldn't adequately be able to put it into words."

Aaron presses a kiss to your forehead, laughing just a bit in turn.

"I didn't do so much better," he comments. "Glad I did it though."

You hum, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "So am I."

[miss-nandini]

hiii

Can I request the dorm leaders with a reader who rejects them? They have not declared themselves but the reader notices their attitudes and I confront them by telling them that she is not interested in teenage romance and that she just wants to return to their world (or if the reader cannot return to her world, live a quiet life outside of the island in some nice foreign country)

Thank you and I'm glad you write again.

A/N: I can't handle sad endings. So, here it is, a bitter-sweet fic that probably won't end in hopelessness. Anyways, I hope you are doing well. Enjoy! 💜💜💜💜

Apart but still together! (Housewardens x F! Reader.)

Riddle: At first, you thought you were just imagining stuff. Riddle Rosehearts has feelings for you? Can't be true, right? You never believed in rumors. But, even you could see the changes in him. Those longing looks, dreamy smiles and the soft blush cannot be just your imagination. He always invites you to the unbirthday parties of Heartslabyul, offers to tutor you all the time, asks you out to take a stroll with him around the rose maze... No, all of them can't be just friendly gestures. Not to mention Riddle isn't too good at hiding his feelings. But, the thing was you just... weren't in the position to be in a relationship with someone. All you wanted was to return home.

"I'm sorry Riddle. But, let's stop there. I'm sorry."

Leona: He hides his feelings well behind his snarky remarks. Yet, the way he is protective of you, the way his eyes softens when he gazes at you and when his tail sways around you in happiness... well, yeah that was a deadass giveaway. He was too soft with you, that isn't very Leona-like. He would even buy you stuff at times. You didn't have the heart to tell him off when he actually looked happy for once. But...

"Leona... we can't do this. Don't do this to yourself. I'm sorry..."

Azul: He is fidgeting around you? Trying to talk to you again and again? Giving you free food he cooked himself? Well, damn even a dense person would find out by then. This guy tries so hard to act cool around you but, always ends up blushing and stuttering. He had to work real hard to get out of his aloof self and be his real self around you. You were his friend. But, oh boy he definitely wanted to be more than friends with you. Why is this happening? After all this...

"Azul, stop. You know you are expecting the unexpected. Please... I'm really sorry..."

Kalim: He is trying to stick around you 24/7. Always inviting you to parties, asking Jamil to make special recipes just for you, spoiling you with extravagant gifts. That IS Kalim, but not to that extent. Then again, he doesn't bother to hide those lovesick looks. He is very open about it. He is always fo caring, so gentle, so loving. How can you not fall for a guy like that? But, unfortunately...

"Kalim, sweetie, please... You know this is not possible, right? You know one day I will just... return to where I belong, right? I'm really sorry Kalim. But, let's stop this..."

Vil: The way he acts around you is so different. Yes, he still calls you a potato and scolds you here and there but he has gone awfully soft around you. He is always looking out for you. Let it be a healthy diet or skin care products. He invites you in his room for spa days, let's you see his vulnerable side at times. Why? The answer was crystal clear. You really didn't want to break his heart but...

"Vil, this is going too far. I'm really sorry, but we gotta stop. It will never happen. I'm sorry..."

Idia: This guy already has more than enough issues. So, when he is making the effort to spend time with you and even go outside for it, you knew what was coming. You are his player two no matter what game it is and when Idia himself invites you to his room and shares some of his stories with you... you just...knew. But, you already made a decision the moment you ended up in this foreign world, far far away from your own. That's way...

"Idia, I think we should stop this now. This won't get us anywhere. I'm really sorry..."

Malleus: You were his first friend. You weren't afraid of him, never shit-talked about him, always made an effort to make him feel loved... How can he not fall for you? He already sees you as his future queen. You are everything to him. Before he even knew he was already drowning in love. It was so obvious. But, you two just weren't possible...

"Malleus, I hate to say this, but we have to stop here. I will just... fade away one day... then? Don't hurt yourself over me. I'm sorry..."

(BONUS HOPEFULL ENDING)

Years passed. Unfortunately, you never returned to your world. Then again, you made some really great friends, passed school eventually and grew up. Now, you even have a job. But one thing— no, one person was missing from your life. Looks like you were only lying to yourself when you rejected...HIM.

Riddle: It was a rainy day. Thanks to that you were struck midway. How could you forget your umbrella? That's when you saw him... Oh!

"(Y/N)?"

"Riddle...?"

You two walked closer to each other. You could see surprise in his eyes, but beneath that... oh? As you gazed in his eyes, you just knew everything was going to change in your life. That look of love can't be mistaken.

Leona: Running into Leona came off as a huge shock. But then again, the first time you saw him, you stepped on his tail.

"Still clumsy as ever huh, herbivore?"

Rather than letting you go, he pulled you closer and... you could easily see that fond look behind his smug grin.

"Yes... Leona."

Azul: "(Y-Y/N)?"

Finding him near your work place is even weirder. Didn't he go back to the coral see? Oh, how wrong you were. Turns out, he came back again, for you...

"You won't say no this time, will you?"

You smiled softly.

"You already know the answer, Azul."

Kalim: Going to the Scalding Sands again wasn't really a part of the plan. But, ever since you went to that special event with Kalim, you can't help but go back there. Maybe... a part of you just wanted to find him...

(Y/N)?!

"Huh?!"

Before you had a chance to blink, someone straight up flung himself at you.

"Kalim...?"

"You are here for me, right?!!!!"

He giggled.

"Yes..."

Vil: Honestly, you didn't think you would ever see him again. But, who knew life had another plans for you? You found him near a flower shop, lost in thought.

"Vil?"

"Ah, (Y/N)— wait, (Y/N)?!

He came closer and placed his hand over your head. It's like, he couldn't believe you were there.

There was also something else. Once again... you recognized the same look in his eyes you saw years ago in school.

"Vil?"

"Yes...?"

"Go out with me."

Idia: There was not a single chance to meet Idia. But, oh well, when life has plans, things happen somehow. Both of you were equally shocked to see each other. When the shock faded, he was ready to run away.

"Idia, wait!!"

"W-what is it?!"

"Marry me!!"

"H-h-HUH?!?!"

Oh well, the way he totally turned pink. You knew the answer."

Malleus: Visiting Briar Valley definitely wasn't in your bucket list. But for the sake of the meeting your company will have with him, you had to go there with your boss and colleagues. You had be lying if you said you weren't excited to see him. Not to mention he really is a king now. The entire time during the meeting he never once looked at you. That was just... sad. But, you kinda deserved that, just a little. That's what were you thinking while packing up.

(Y/N).

You almost jumped.

"Mal— I mean, your highness."

"You are really going to be like that?"

"What... do you mean?"

"You are aware."

"Well..."

"Stay."

"...I will..."

[darkphoenix07]

Paper rings by Taylor Swift

<Song prompt au>

Masterlist

Mental Health Request

Paring : Jongho x Reader

Genre : Romance, Friends to lovers

Word count : 2.6k

Synopsis : You two are college mutual friends but you act like you can't recall his name intensionally everytime he comes to buy his pistachio latte ☕

Warning : Adorable, Soft Intimacy

9.32 p.m.

You keep staring at your phone as you have been for several hours by now for being bored. The song playing in the background is making your ears bleed but you are scared to go home alone at this hour because this city isn't safe for girls to be anywhere alone. Your friend has promised you that he will drop you home as soon as the party ends but now he is nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Y/n," finally you hear your friend, Yunho from the background and look behind. But instead of meeting his eyes, you meet a pair of dark brown eyes, chubby cheeks and dark black haired boy wearing a simple black t-shirt with no design but only black cargo pants. For some seconds you feel like his eyes sparkled and he looked like he smiled at you. But the next moment, it was all gone and he shoved one glass of whiskey in his mouth without sparing you a single look.

"I'm sorry for keeping you here. I was with my friends. You haven't meet Jongho, right? He is Choi Jongho, one of my friends and Jongho, this is y/n, my childhood friend," Yunho says and you stand up awkwardly.

You don't understand what to do but gladly the word, "Hi," comes out from your mouth easily enough for being social.

One the other hand, he doesn't even smile and you. He only blinks at you in a way of making you understand he heard you and starts talking to Yunho instead. They sit around you in the couch of the party house and keep talking all night. But Jongho doesn't even glance at you for once or talk to you or ask you something.

But unintentionally your eyes keep going back to the mole on his throat. A little far from his chin and from his collarbone. It is making him look a bit too much attractive than he already is. That is making you feel so hot though the air conditioners are on.

You have always felt unattractive throughout your whole school life and college was another run as your friends got boyfriends but you got none. Sadly, no one even approached for you which made it worse. Your insecurities about your features kept getting higher when you started having guy friends but they were only comfortable in keeping you friend.

Jongho was in another college which is why you've never seen him until now. Up until now, no one has ever caught your eyes like he did. Something about him, maybe his eyes or that mole on his neck makes you weak for him already when you don't even know him.

Finally the time comes when Yunho drops you home and the first time you do after reaching home is look for Jongho in the social media and damnit, he looks like someone's boyfriend in every picture without even trying. He has gummy smile which you notice in a photo Yunho tagged him on his birthday. Oh that smile, it looks like you are about to lose your mind.

After roaming a whole hour in his social media account you notice the books beside his bed. There is a white bookshelf covered with plant and various books. You take a screenshot of that and order every book online so you understand what type of person he is and what type of romance he likes.

It's hard to sleep when for the first time you are feeling the adrenal rush for someone who didn't even talk to you for one second and completely avoided you like you are invisible. You know this isn't right but you can't help it. After knowing it is going to be a long night, you kept tossing and turning until the sun comes up and it becomes the time for college.

In college, you try to ask your friends about him but it feels wrong. So you simply finish college and enter your cafe where you work as a barista. It's very weird but you've become barista because you love brown color and the smell of coffee. It always makes your day when you are in the cafe.

Days go by as you meet Jongho often but the routine is the same. You keep staring at him while he keeps giving you cold shoulder. Sometimes it feels like he avoids you on purpose and talks to every other person in the party.

After losing your mind and reading three of the books that you saw beside his bed, you've decided to give up. He's too good for you. His morals, his thoughts, the type of books he read. Everything is out of league.

One morning, you are working in the cafe when suddenly a order comes up like this, "One pistachio latte please."

You feel your head has started to burn hearing the soft voice. You know he can sing very well but hearing him order something like that starts making you feel weak on your knees. You want to jump or scream but you only smile looking at him, "Alright, it will be 5 dollar and 25 bucks," you tell him.

"Y/n, you are work here!" His voice is a little heavier when he asks you that.

You nod smiling again when your head goes, he knows my name, he knows my name, he knows my name.

"Choi San, right?"

Jongho's face turns blue, you think when you get his name wrong on purpose. You remember Yunho showing Choi San long time ago at a party so it was blurted out in front of Jongho as an accident but kind of intensionally. Because you are practically stalking his social media without following him. How can you not know his name?

"Nevermind, give me my latte quickly," he looks annoyed but doesn't show it to you as he waits for his order sitting on a corner while reading a book you've finished reading last week.

Someone delivers the latte and thus the day ends while he keeps reading the book having two lattes and you working like a madwoman so you don't see him looking like a painting in your peaceful cafe.

Maybe intensionally but you start avoiding him in the parties like he has been doing like a stupid girl you are. Part of you were tired of chasing him and part of you were feeling like an idiot. So, you wanted to stop.

What you kept up was calling him by everything except his own name.

And the day occur when you were alone in the cafe. It was night time, no customer was there neither the barista with you. You were about to close the cafe but suddenly the bell of the cafe ring and you look up meeting his sparkling dark brown eyes.

People in the world have brown eyes mostly. So, if you say dark brown is your thing that will sound wrong. But whenever you look into his eyes, he looks so dreamy and different from every human being who has brown eyes.

"Welcome, Kim Jongin."

Did you just call him by your favorite kpop man? Yes, you did.

Do you feel embarrassed? Yes, you do.

Do you want to run away? Yes, you do.

Do you want to say sorry? Absolutely not.

He looks around then right into your eyes and you don't know why your cap decides to fall from your head. Does he have any super power or your brain just pushed the cap away?

"You!" He sounds mad but then he pauses, takes a deep breath and thumps a tiny box in front of you on the table, "Yunho has told me to leave this box to you as he is busy."

You keep looking at him while he starts leaving but then looks back at you, "Why do you keep getting my name wrong?"

"Excuse me?"

Maybe you are not good at acting but you are genuinely surprise or maybe you are surprised because he has snapped.

"My name is Choi Jongho and you know it very well. Don't you?" He asks you that question a little too loud that it strikes right into your heart making your heart thudding so bad.

"I-I"

"Is there a problem with you and me?" He asks looking straight into your eyes. Maybe he didn't want to just look at your eyes because you feel his eyes dropping on your lips for a tiny second. Not once or twice but a multiple times. It was making you feel like he is having a hard time keeping his eyes focused on your eyes only.

"Isn't it normal for me to forget the name of a guy who doesn't even look at me in the party?"

You snap back at him. Maybe not because he snapped. Maybe because he is not pulling you for a kiss when your eyes have fallen on his lips a multiple times by now too.

"Nevermind," he says and walks away making the ring bell again leaving you there all alone by yourself.

You keep sitting in a chair for a while before locking the cafe. It's a bit late but you are feeling so full right now. You need to walk it out but as you turn, you see a familiar black Hyundai Accent car in front you.

"May I drop you home?"

Jongho asks you with a look of apology.

You keep standing there not understanding what to do.

"As an apology, please?" He asks and you smile softly before getting beside him.

For a long ten minutes none of you talk. But then Jongho starts, "I am not good at people."

"Me neither."

You reply and you both sigh together.

Before he can say anything further, you tell him to stop his car in front of your house, "This is it."

You don't look at him. You can not. You simply leave his car but look from the window, "Will you come for a pistachio latte?"

"You make that home?" He asks looking purely shocked and you nod.

"So, will you?"

"I can. It's not like I've things to do," that's a lie Jongho says to you. Tomorrow is his midterm exam and the subject feels vomiting to him. He doesn't tell you that or worries about it.

He follows you like a bear he is and enters in your abode. The first thing his eyes fall on are the books you bought after seeing them beside his bed's shelf.

"Have you read them?"

You mentally slap yourself seeing them on the couch.

"I have," there are seven books. The rest of them are in your bookshelf covered in packets. New as gold. He will see them soon and you'll regret calling him inside.

"Sit here," you move the books, "I'll bring the latte."

"Okay," he sits awkwardly on the couch and keeps staring at the new books. They look like they haven't been touched but they are circled, underlined a multiple times.

After a while, you come back with the latte and your cup of coffee simple but dark. Maybe like you.

"So, you read them recently?" He asks you and he knows the answer so you only nod.

He takes a sip of his coffee, "I didn't know how to approach you properly so I could never."

"Me neither."

Did you say that twice? Yes???

You try to cover the problem with intensionally getting his name wrong, "I- am not good at remembering things."

"You were pretty good with recalling my favorite flavored latte," he says and for the first time he smiles at you showing his gums. He looks at you smilingly but for some reason looking at you his smile falls out and his eyes drops on your lips.

He doesn't speak, he doesn't ask for anything. He knows he doesn't have to when he bends over you and you move closer too meet his lips closing your eyes.

Your lips melt into his when he gently wraps his one hand around you pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. His lips are like marshmallow and he tastes so good after having the latte maybe. The kiss doesn't leave you breathless because it keeps going smoothly with one lips to another. It drives you crazy and calms you down at the same time.

When he releases the kiss and looks at you, he reads your eyes that you are not satisfied with this much. He touches his forehead with yours, "Can I stay here tonight?"

He will definitely fail in his exam but he doesn't want to fail with you.

So, you nod too and the kiss turns into making love and making love one night turns into 3 years of dating.

You keep on working as barista not worrying about life as you have the best boyfriend ever but he doesn't get a job yet which keeps making him anxious.

Four of your friends have gotten married already after graduating with you but he doesn't want to talk about starting a new life. His part time job doesn't go well neither he is good at doing business. He can sing well but that isn't giving him chances to earn enough money for both of you.

You keep worrying over starting a journey with him when on new years eve you kneel on one knee in front of him and ask for his hand in marriage with you in front of all of your friends, "Marry me."

His shocking face tells you everything but you smile because you know why he hesitates. Your life style and his were always different. He knows what hunger is where you don't understand what shoe to wear on each day. He used to save money forgetting about breakfast while you couldn't stop eating though you wanted to lose weight.

You never knew what saving was until last year when you decided to propose him on one knee saving some money for further time so he can still work on his songs. You wanted to support him until he gets something for himself though luxury was always your normal chore.

"Listen, I have enough for the two of us. I have joined a company too. From dad's help but I know you would never take dad's help. So, I am going to do for both of us until you reach your goals. So, marry me," you tell him as he makes you stand up.

He doesn't say anything, only keeps his head down not being able to meet your eyes.

"I don't want to get old and wonder I should have married you long ago. Living with you is not enough, Jongho. I want to be called wife by you everyday," you tell him touching your forehead with his.

"I am sorry for not being enough," Jongho says holding your hands tightly.

But you smile, "Don't say that and listen, I love to waste money, Jongho. But I won't love to waste the rest of our lives."

"I won't be able to give you a diamond ring," he says.

"I want you to make me walk on the aisle. I don't care if it's a diamond ring or paper ring," you tell him and pulls you for a kiss in front of everyone while helping you to insert the ring inside his finger.

Breaking the stereotype was nice and it was hard living like he lives.

But waking up next to him and watching him breath where divorce never come as an option was the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Putting the whole song in the au. Did you like it?

Taglist :

@yeologicc @notyuji @theaufanartist @hwanchaesong @littleninja97 @fudgeflyssworld @loosmyshit @pinki-minki @sanshinee-world @harusomi @kitty4hwa @northerngalxy

[creepyfruit]

Favorite Exocolonist characters? And maybe least favorites if you have any?

I'll give you my character tier list (I decided to include only the kids idk maybe I'll make a separate one for adults)

Answer under the cut ↓

My least fav is obviously Vace. I don't think I need to elaborate but to make it clear l, I haven't ever tried to befriend him so I don't know much about him other than his obsession with killing things, being abusive and a bully.

Next I'll have to put Nomi Nomi not because I don't like them but simply because I've never went out of my way to befriend them so I don't really have an opinion.

Cal was my best friend in my first play through so it hurts me to put him so low but he deserves it. Listen mate I love animals as much as the average gal but you're doing too much. The victim blaming as well?? I'm sorry that I was born on a spaceship set to colonize an alien planet, what did you want me to do? Swim through space and go back to earth? Also your girlfriend's dad died a horrid death and that's still all you have to say? Pacifism isn't a good look on an environment like this one.

Rex is a great dude, there's nothing I dislike about him, he's just simply not as interesting as the others.

Tammy is also kind of on the same boat. I did have a lot of hearts with her on my second play through and helping her be more confident was a very enjoyable journey, she is obviously very kind and empathetic and that makes her incredibly likable. I wish she had some flaws to make a bit more realistic.

This is where things get tough because all the next characters are kinda close but Nem will have to take this one. I romanced her in my most recent play through and she really is just the cutest... until Kom dies and she adopts the whole Helio package. She did become slightly annoying even though I understand her trauma. It's good that you can help her grow out of it, that gives her bonus points. A fun character with some nice character development.

And here comes everyone's fav boy Dys. It took a lot of trying to befriend him, he made it very hard for me and I liked that. I liked how they made him weird and antisocial, he wasn't the misunderstood boy that no one likes but rather it's actually the opposite. His relationship with Tang is so beautifully complex I love every part of it although I still haven't gotten them to reconcile (that damn bar will be the death of me). I would have put him much lower if it wasn't for the exploration buddies relationship that he had with Sol because the most unlikable thing about him (that I honestly never understood) is his obsession with the gardeners. Maybe it's my lack of understanding or the fact that I never really went down that road (making him a gardener/befriending Sym) because it creeps me out but I just don't like his views on the subject. And also I hate his relationship with Sym, nothing cute about a 100+ yo alien praying on a 16 yo boy.

Marz is a character that I thought I was going to hate straight from my first play through. She seemed like the typical mean girl character, who's very pretty has a lot of money is obsessed with clothes and stuff and also bullies every one just because but she's not exactly like that. Sure she has kudos and status and loves her fashion but she has genuinely kind intentions behind her "bullying". She doesn't understand how words can hurt because due to her augument they can't hurt her, she thinks she's helping Dys fit in with her comments and she doesn't want him to be lonely. She's naturally a very commanding person and a true leader but she isn't looking for mindless sheep, she wants you to have self respect and a backbone and I love her for that. Also bonus points to our girl for helping us overthrow the government. I have to say though, all the above doesn't excuse the fact that she can be seriously mean sometimes, but we love her regardless.

My favourite girl, my sweet baby Tangent, who's gone through so much but no matter what you do she doesn't really get a happy ending. I had my eye on her the moment I saw her (her child sprite reminded me of Ino from Naruto that's why) and she was my first romance. Obviously that didn't end well cause my first ending turned out to be tangent's cure (I thought I was just helping my gf bro) and now I'm scared to even talk to her thinking I'll trigger it again but I love her non the less. She's such a complex character I could talk about her for days (special thanks to the person with the multiple tangent discussion posts) her relationship with Dys, the obviously toxic and abusive relationship with Instance, her importance to a whole colony at such a young age, the fact that she's held to adult standards which results in self harming habits and her loneliness, her struggle with mental illness and the death of her mother. I'm writing everything down in a synopsis pretty much because if I start I won't stop. I also love how this abusive relationship was handled compared to Nem and Vace. No matter what you say she won't see how bad Instance is for her and the product of all this abuse is ultimately horrible for her. It adds a realism that hurts to death but is necessary. I also adore her character because it gives us a reminder that not everyone gets a happy ending in life, sometimes the things people go through never really leave them, although admittedly I would kill to see my baby happy, she deserves it.

[skylarsblue]

★Rules & Links★

☆Characters I Write For ☆Masterlist One ☆Masterlist Two

Border by @v6que

☆Yes☆ ⭑Fluff, NSFW, Headcanons, Oneshots, etc. I can write angst, but I'm an escapist most of the time, so don't expect it too often/heavy. ⭑I don't like writing in a first person perspective, so, you'll likely see a "Y/N" in 'x reader' content. If you specifically request a POV, I'll try my best, but I warn you it might suffer in quality. ⭑My 'x readers' will be blank slates physically unless stated otherwise. (Ex; black!reader, fat!reader, AMAB!reader, female!reader, etc etc.) Note; I tend to write fem!readers. Not for any particular reason aside from me liking women. Women are hot. ⭑I'm fine writing most taboo topics, though subtext might change my want to write it. (Ex; I will write a character with a reference sexual assault if it's important to the story, such as trauma representation, I will not write the assault itself.) ⭑Examples of taboo subjects could be murder, gore, PTSD, mental illness, age gaps(WITHIN REASON), forbidden romances, religious imagery, monster characters, & SFW age/pet regression. If you're unsure if what you want falls into the 'yes' category, just ask. ★Note; If you suggest something with a character/self-insert that has a mental illness or culture that I don't understand, I'll try my best to research it properly and honor it. But if I slip up in anyway and make an inaccurate assessment, let me know! I wanna make sure my work is relatable and representative, not innacurate.

☆No☆ ⭑While I can maybe get behind consensual noncon or dubcon, I will never write a rape scene. Ever. If a sexual assault is important to a character's story, I'll imply or mention it, but you will not get me writing out the act. ⭑Incest, Pedophilia, Necrophilia, Racism, & Beastiality have no place on my blog. ⭑Age Play is a no. I'll do a corruption kink,I'll write a power play dynamic, I'll even do a daddy/mommy kink. You will not see me lewding things like coloring books and pacifiers. ⭑Cheating is also a no. The only loophole is if it's in the past or on an abusive partner. My reasoning? It makes me too sad. ⭑Not really a hard no, just a preference; I don't write hinge poly relationships very well. Poly is perfectly fine, but unless they're all in love, it's a little uncomfortable for me. I won't outright turn it down, but I'll probably struggle on that kind of dynamic. ⭑Any kink with body fluid that isn't saliva, blood, or jizz is a huge no.

★Note; I have ADHD and find it really hard to fulfill requests if it doesn't pique an idea/interest in me. So, if I don't get to your request, I'm sorry. I promise I try, but I can't do much bout it, believe me. ★Note 2; if you aren't sure about your request and where it stands, you can still ask! I'm well aware that context and scenarios can make a request not quite fit the rules. If I outright don't wanna write something because it breaks a rule or makes me uncomfortable, I'll just tell you privately.

[elena-gilbert]

after reading s1 interviews it becomes clear that everything we loved about sylki/sylvie and everything that made sylki/sylvie great came from kate and michael.

s2 doesn't feel like a continuation of s1, sylki dynamic in s2 isn't the same as it was in s1, and sylvie is reduced to a sidelined low-key love interest in s2 when she was a co-protagonist in s1 because kate and michael, the main creators behind s1, are not in charge of s2.

their s1 ideological dispute in the citadel alone was a lot more engaging than their whole relationship in s2.

and the most importantly, i could really get why sylvie fell for loki. he saw her as a hero when everyone else saw her as a villain, he told her she was amazing to fight against the dictatorship, he was caring and attentive towards her. he is a completely different person with her in s2 and he is different in the worst possible way - he has became a stereotypical man invalidating his female "partner's" suffering, anger and opinions.

I think it's clear now that most of Sylki dynamics in season 1 was the brainchild of people who are no longer involved in the show. The new showrunners have a completely different point of view on them. Definitely, it was a conscious step away from romance. 😞

This whole season has been one big nothing for Loki and Sylvie's relationship. I want to hope for some kind of confession and a kiss in the final episode, but it just feels like the writers this season don't really care about their relationship. If cut out all these Sylki moments from s2, you know what happening? Nothing. It will absolutely not affect the plot in general, you could easily watch without it and understanding everything, which cannot be said about s1 where they were the driving force of the plot.

I like Loki but I can't understand his actions towards Sylvie anymore. I tried the first four episodes, honestly. The first-season Loki would never have been so cold to her even if he knew that she was wrong and did not agree with her. He would tried to convince her. You mentioned a fight in the Citadel. Yes, it was a kind of first big fight and a divergence of views on the situation, but God, how well it was done. All their dialogue as well as the fight itself were just *chef's kiss*. And I'm not talking about how much passion there was and the chemistry just sparkled between them! And compare this scene with their fights in season 2. All they do is exchange some random phrases with mutuals accusations and screaming at each other. I can't even call them enemies, they're just strangers. I'm also sorry for Sylvie as a character, her screen time has been cut very much this season and from this we can't understand her point of view. The plot in general is still all right, Loki/Sylvie dynamic just doesn't make any sense and most importantly has absolutely no connection with the first season.

If a miracle happens and they somehow ending the season together as a couple (which I doubt now) it won't be as epic, beautiful and emotional as if it were if Michael and Kate were still running the show.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

So with Clementine Book Two coming out in October, I decided to do another reread of Book One. Though, I'll be honest, the bigger reason for this reread was out of spite; I follow Tillie Walden on instagram, and while I don't go on there often, I usually check her page when I do so I can see any new artwork or Clementine updates. Her latest post is from one of her other graphic novels, and I guess I just... don't get it.

I don't understand why people are like this:

This is on a post that has nothing to do with the Clementine comics. As for ones that are about Clementine-

Those are just a handful from a few Clementine-related posts, but there's so much of this all over Tillie's posts and I don't understand.

What does this accomplish? Other than making you look like an asshole? Like... no one is impressed by this. No one is applauding you for repeatedly commenting "lol we didn't want a forced gay romance ew," which by the way? Repeating that in every single paragraph you comment? Tell me you're homophobic without saying you're homophobic, y'know?

There are legit criticisms to be had of Clementine Book One- The pacing is all over the place where it starts very slow and then goes into whiplash mode after Amos dies. Georgia as a villain is a weak point in the story. Clementine naming her leg after Kenny is a bit icky considering in canon, he physically and verbally abused a disabled person with a brace on his leg in S2. I don't think there was much thought behind that decision past "Hey, the fans like Kenny," and I think that's worth pointing out as "Hey... maybe don't?"

Some of the dialogue is a bit stilted, but some of it is actually pretty good. My personal favorite is when Clementine and Amos are fixing a roof-

Amos: Lord, this roof is... Clementine: ...fucked? Amos: SHH, don't say that! It's... troubled.

I'm sorry- that's funny! And it actually says a lot about who these characters are and the kind of friendship they have.

And yeah, Ricca is just okay. She's clearly the love interest, and I'm hoping we get more development of her character. And yes, the "baby" thing is still weird.

There's a lot about the art style that I'm not crazy about, specifically Clementine's face and expressions, and I hope to see an improvement in that for Book Two.

And then the obvious: Clementine leaving because she was unhappy and felt everyone thought she was a liability doesn't match up with the end of TFS.

I don't think it's mean to say that Tillie wasn't the best fit for this project, but that's on Skybound. They're the ones who reached out to her and hired her. I think Tillie's a great artist and her graphic novels have great queer, wlw representation in them. Just because she wasn't the perfect fit for Clementine that doesn't mean she's bad, it means that maybe she should've been considered for a different project.

And honestly...? Y'all, Book One isn't THAT bad. It's not great or anything, but the comics can't take the games away from you. If you want to say canon ends with the TFS, then that's where it ends. That's where it ends for me; these comics are more of a "what if" scenario than anything.

No one is forcing you to accept this as canon, and if you're so pathetically butt hurt over the existence of a comic that you feel like you have to go on Tillie's instagram, the artist who is only doing the job she's obligated to do, and comment shit like this on every. single. post-

Maybe, just maybe, you need to go outside. I'm serious.

This isn't the only comment about grooming on Tillie's posts, or that I've seen on reddit. Like... do you understand what grooming actually is and how serious it is? Or are you just using it as a buzzword that you know is bad and triggering as a means of insult and convincing others that she's bad, too?

Also, I don't think you really understand how creativity and writing work. Maybe it's just me, though I doubt it, but when I create characters or write already established characters in my fanfiction, they all have a piece of me that's apart of them. My life experiences and who I am as a person influences everything I write, and that bleeds into the characters, for better or worse.

What, you think Louis having a random pillow collecting problem was something I just pulled out of my ass? No, it's because I have a pillow collecting problem! Do you know why I've always had a such a hard time writing for Violet? It's because I see a lot of myself in her and that scares me and I'd rather just not unpack all of that, okay?

I mean, how many times on this hellsite have you come across someone saying, "lol my otp is just Person A is my type and Person B is the one I project onto" and it has thousands of notes because, on some level, we all get it.

Tillie has talked about Ricca before and like most creative people, she's drawn from her own life to create her characters. Ricca isn't some self-insert character just because they both wear glasses, I'm-

You are just being an asshole! I just- I'm getting pissed off because this shouldn't even be a thing. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? WHO HURT ALL OF YOU?

I love Clementine, too! She's important to me! I have replayed TWDG more times than I can count! I was pissed about the comics in the beginning! You can go back on my blog and I probably said stupid shit, too!

But Clementine isn't real. She's a fictional video game character. She isn't going to reward your bullying or white-knighting because she doesn't exist. You're not doing this because you're a "true fan" that loves Clementine. Honestly, if you were a true fan, you would know that if Clementine was real, she would find you and this behavior disgusting. Tillie Walden is a real person and I don't give a flying fuck if you hate her work. By all means, hate the comic! Criticize the comic and Skybound for continuing the series, but leave Tillie out of it.

And I think the part that sucks the most is it doesn't matter what I say, you can't rationalize with irrational people intent on being assholes so they're not going to stop.

I guess what I'm trying to show with all of this is when Book Two comes out, and y'all start reading it and making posts... please don't be these people.

Whatever you may feel about Clementine Book Two, try to remember that Tillie Walden is a real person and she's just doing the job that Skybound hired her for. Tillie's an artist just trying to live her life in Vermont with her wife and their cats, and she's gotta deal with all of these people harassing her posts. She can't even post something non-Clementine related without a bunch of #notmyclementine shit in the comments.

I don't even know what else to say... Uhm, I guess if anyone from those screenshots sees this, then... I don't feel that bad about calling you an asshole. We all learned in kindergarten to treat others the way we want to be treated, but maybe you were sick that day, I don't know. Go outside. Get your life together. We have a short time on this planet and maybe you should try to actually accomplish something while you're here. Eat a kitkat or something👍

[pasteloctoz]

Day 2 of redacted "what ifs"

I know mermay is almost over but i can't stop thinking about who in redacted would be mermaids and how the romances would work. So here. I tried to stay as close as I could to the original tomance storylines as I could.

Damn crew first

Gavin and FL-

Gavin is a merman (specifically a siren) while FL is a shifter that just recently found out they can shift. When they met, Gavin was singing in a large cavern and FL wasn't drawn in by it even though they appeared human. They got to know eachother after a while and Gavin started looking for a way to shift to a human form so he could spend more time with FL. FL had started to meet other merfolk including Hux, Dames, Laz, and eventually Kody. For some reason they were drawn to FL (FL having some type of energy close to what lovely had before they were revealed to be a latent). Kody (shark merman cause predator), pulled FL into the ocean. FL had shown a fear of the ocean for a while up until that point and freaked the fuck out when Kody did this. Luckily, Hux was near and he scared Kody away. From there FL tries to deal with this while also still having a life as a human to. Eventually they ditch the human life and live with Gavin in the ocean city.

Freelancers, including Sam, would probably be able to shift to whatever kind of merfolk they'd want, though it'd take a toll on their magic if they do it too much. Which means that Sam would have a harder time shifting from one form to another.

Huxely and Damien-

Huxley is a whale shark merman because they can withstand high temperatures and those goofy ahh fish always remind me of gentle giants. Damien is some kind of magma merman just because. I love them both but there is not much to talk abt they're just gay/pos.

Lasko and Lasko's Listener-

Not sure what I have in mind for Lasko but he's tiny and his listener is Large. Thats all I have in mind for either of them, so far their story doesn't have much so i don't have much for them.

Shaw pack now. All shaw pack bois are Dogfish shark shifter merfolk 😌 (say that 10 times fast)

Ash and Baaabe-

This ones hard cause they met when the elevator in their apartment broke down with them in it. And Baabe is unempowered so for this one imma say that at the shaw pack bois live on land but for jobs they go into the ocean and do their thing. That makes the thought that Ash would shift to get out of going to the door for pizza 10 times funnier. Guy would just see him laying on the floor behind the couch and He'd just be used to it at that point. It also makes it way easier for Guy to find out abt magic which i think is funny.

David and Angel-

This one would also be really close to the og way they met. If it weren't for pack meetings and the security jobs David probably wouldn't even tell Angel. (Sorry this one was so dull-)

Milo and Sweetheart-

Sweetheart is a octopus shifter (octopus can camoflauge and squeeze through tiny spaces, closest i could get to a stealth). Their meeting a such would also be very similar to the og story. Though I personally think that when they move, they move into ocean city to be closer to work n stuff.

Last but not least, the vamp bois. All of the vampires are some kind of squid shifters. I'm not gonna say vampire squids specifically bc those thing are tiny and I can't think of Sam as a tiny mf next to large ass shark darlin'. Also its a little bit cliche. Maybe squid shifters are the only ones who can turn humans/ressurect (kinda) merfolk. I wouldn't think that turning a merfolk would change them from being a shark to a squid or something. But when a human is turned they can shift to a squid only.

Also the places where they all meet is no longer a carnival its apart of the beach thats cut off for safety reasons. (Like in steven universe)

Sam and Darlin'-

With the whole Quinn thing, I wouldn't want too change much. Darlin' used to live in the land city but sold it after the Quinn stuff happened. They did go back to washington ofc but when they came back, they bought an apartment in the ocean city and lived there for a while. Then they met Sam at the beach and things were pretty similar from there. When they moved in with Sam they moved to a house hidden and out of the city but still close. Im not gonna talk abt what type of fish quinn is bc he doesnt deserve it (neither does kody but i had to make the joke abt him being a predator since that is literally what he is).

Vincent and Lovely-

Similar story to how Gavin and FL's was except Kody is replaced by Adam, Hux in that situation is replaced by Vincent and Lovely is an Eel merfolk instead of Freelancer merfolk. Pretty self explanitory- Vincent is a squid guy bc he was a human before obv.

Bonus: Caelum is lil anglefish merfolk ♥️♥️♥️

And uh- yea not much to talk about other than that. Happy mermay!!!

[ben-talks-art]

Why I like Makima

"The truly necessary evils are always collared and controlled by the state."

When I started reading Chainsawman I honestly didn't have many thoughts about the character of Makima.

I thought her design was fine, her personality was fine, her chemistry with Denji and the other characters was okay, and she did have a few cool lines and moments here and there... But overall for the longest time, she was just the "girl boss" character, that person that sits behind the desk and deals with paperwork while the heroes get all the action...

And then I kept reading the manga... And finally found out what her deal was, and that completely changed everything about the way I looked at this character, making me go from "Yeah, she's cool, I guess..." to "Holy f*cking sh*t!! This character is fascinating!"

(Spoilers for Chainsawman)

Before I keep going on why I like her, I want to make clear that my appreciation for her comes from a personal reason. I'm not trying to say this character is great and everyone should love her, I'm just saying why I like her myself and if anyone can't stand her, that's totally understandable.

My personal reason is that after diving into a lot of forms of storytelling, be it books, movies, comics, shows, games, or anything like that, one of the character traits that annoys me the most has always been entitlement.

I can't stand whenever I see a character in a story going "I deserve this more than you! I know what's best for everyone! My opinion matters more than yours! My pain matters more than yours! My happiness matters more than yours!"

I hate when characters just put themselves on some form of high horse and act like the feelings of others just don't matter as much as theirs. I usually see this a lot in bad romances where the male leads usually act like the female lead is some object that belongs to them, but it's painted as charming because "It's his way of showing he cares!"

Entitlement for me is one of the most toxic mentalities, if not the most toxic mentality someone can display, so I really appreciate it when it is used in villains to show how damaging it can be, and I feel Makima is the best example of why this mentality is so harmful.

Makima's entire thing is that she's basically a fangirl. She's completely in love with her hero and wants nothing more than completely monopolize him.

Everything she does, everything she says, every person she interacts with, it's all for the sake of getting the thing she thinks she is entitled to, which is, her hero. And the reason she feels entitled to him is because, as she says, she gets him better than anyone, even though the hero himself wants nothing to do with her. She's basically that crazy woman from Stephen King's "Misery."

And what I find so brilliant about how her story is told, is that the point isn't to make us sympathize with her obsession, but rather show us the lives that are getting destroyed because of it.

Something that always bugs me when people try to tell a redemption arc about a villain becoming a hero is that they always just ignore all the pain of the victims they made.

It's kinda why I can't get into characters like Walter White or Homelander. These stories about villains usually are about how "cool" the villains are with all the people they hurt, or how "damaged" they are inside and trying to explain how they became who they are and get us to feel sorry for them... But a lot of times they focus a lot more on that than those that got hurt along the way.

Meanwhile, in Chainsawman part 1, the story is all about showing all the path of destruction Makima is leaving behind in her pursuit for her obsession. Making us fall in love with all these characters and sympathize with their pain and loss when Makima starts using them.

The story shows her just like how I wish it would. It shows her as this cold heartless monster who doesn't care about how many die or suffer because, in her mind, her cause is all that matters. What she wants is more important than what others want.

I like Makima because it perfectly shows the harm and ugliness of entitlement, because the manga remembers that the focus of a story about a villain shouldn't be just the antagonist but also its victims. It doesn't glamorize her actions, it shows just how horrifying they are and why she needs to be stopped.

That's why she's one of my all-time favorite villains. She's a terrible person but an amazing character.

Favorite character list>>

[sexybabystevie]

✨ So in (positive) response to your lesbian label & liking fictional men post- That’s way more than okay!!! I mean, how many times do straight people say there’s one person they’d go gay for? Sexuality & Romance are all super fluid, like a sea. You can have a pink sea with just a couple food dye drops of blue if you want ☺️ It doesn’t detract from how you identify at all! It’d still be a pink sea! Even though I’m asexual, I find that I like ladies more in real life and men in fiction (but that might be cause theres tons more men lol, and the ones I like tend to be written by women even) But I’m still ace, no matter what anyone else believes. So if you say you’re a lesbian, then I’m the supporting “Let’s go lesbians!!!” fan from behind :)

thank you so, so, so much 😭 i truly cannot explain how much i needed to hear this. for years i've flip flopped between a few different labels, bi and lesbian being some of them, and every time i identified as a lesbian before i just felt like i was lying to myself or to others because i thought maybe one day i would find a guy that i would like. but there are just so many instances where i COULD have been with guys, i could have pursued them or more, but i never did because something always made me feel off and sick about it in a way i can't really explain.

the thing now is that i don't think i could see myself with a guy at all. and yeah, maybe that will change, but i just really do not feel or get what other people who are into guys feel about them. i've only ever fixated on fictional men and sometimes actors, but it's always unattainable and also i really do sincerely think that that wouldn't make me bi, because i'm at a point where calling myself bi doesn't feel right because of all of this.

i don't know, lol. girls are always just easier and can only ever imagine myself with a guy if it's for the purpose of others (as in like societal norms). and i do think a huge part of me being so confused is that i just wanted to be with a guy, even if it didn't feel right to me, because it would be so much easier than being who i really am. it was always just the idea of it rather than my reality, i think.

anyway, sorry if i rambled a lot because i absolutely did not intend on that lol, but i am so incredibly grateful to you and i thank you a lot for sending this in!! <33 i'm sticking with the lesbian label for now and seeing how things go :))

[queentheweeb]

Alpha Denki Kaminari X Omega Koji Koda

Admittingly Denki never thought he would actually get to be friends with the quietest student in the class, right behind Shoji. He was Denki after all. He was loud, rambunctious, liked pulling pranks a lot, and the works. However, he did suffer from anxiety and has ADHD. Both mental illnesses occurred as a sort of side effect of his quirk. Electricity ran through his veins, pumping through never fully at ease. He always needed to do something which is why studying was always hard for him. Math and Science? God help his soul. Languages, the arts, and history? He had the best grades in the class behind Izuku. He never said anything to Iida or Bakugo because their egos would not be able to handle it. He is sure to tell Izuku though because he's Izuku. He is just a great person. He needed something though to help with his anxiety when the buzzing was too much when everything was too much. His need for something to relax him is what leads him to knock on the shy Omega's door at midnight. It was Saturday, just turned Saturday so he knew he wasn't sleeping yet. He waited patiently for an answer smiling sheepishly at a surprised Koda 

"I know this is sudden and you don't have to but, uh, I was wondering if I can pet Yuwai-chan. It's okay If I can't." He waited for any indication that Koda wanted him to leave or not. He was expecting him to shake his head no but, was surprised when he opened the door a little wider allowing him to come inside. "Thank you Koda-kun." He stood by the door not sure where he was allowed to be. He was just happy he was allowed to come inside at all. They both were risking it being inside his dorm. Aizawa would have both their heads. He watched as the boy went to the center of his room with Yuwai in his arms and patted the space in front of him. Denki walked and sat down in the space holding out his hands and arms the way they all do when petting Yuwai. Carefully Koda placed her in his arms. 

"She likes you..." He looked up surprised at the sudden voice. It was really rare for him to talk. He wanted to hear more of it. He was staring because Koda started shrinking in on himself. 

"I'm sorry for staring...You have a nice voice." He looked down at the very calm rabbit rubbing gently down her back repeatedly. He doesn't know why but when he was around Koda he felt the need to be reserved and more calm. He didn't feel the need to be seen, Koda saw and heard him just fine. If only he knew that this one night of needing to be calm was going to lead to a whirlwind of emotions and a blossoming romance.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Denki found himself distracted a lot in a good and bad way whenever anything and everything involved Koda. His feelings caught him off guard in the beginning. He never did expect to fall for the quiet animal lover but, here he was with heart palpitations, sweaty palms, grinning like an idiot in his presence, training with him, trying to make him laugh and impressed with animal information, buying nature books and stuff he likes. God, he was courting him without telling him it was courting. 

"I still can't believe it's Koda you have the hots for." He felt his eye twitch at Sero keeping himself from snapping at him. He did not mean anything by the statement because yes, it was a bit of a surprise to really like the animal lover, wanting to court him and all of that. However, there was nothing wrong with Koda. He was fine just the way he was from his face to his body to his personality. "You good bro? You're glaring at me." Denki blinked not noticing that he was glaring at Sero 

"You low-key just insulted Koda." Mina the ever so smart one pointed out. The cog wheels turned in his head before clicking. 

"Oh shit, man, I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it-" Denki waved his hand at him. It was just his feelings for him. Alpha instincts. Make him feel protective and all of that fancy jazz.

"It's fine. I think I'm overreacting to you. I know you don't mean any harm. None of you do." Denki took a deep breath biting into his sandwich harsher than intended. His eyes instinctively went over to Koda who was sitting with his usual friend group. He had turned to catch his eyes and Denki gave a wave, like he always did, happy to get a wave in return. He turned back to his friends who were all smirking at him "Ah, fuck you, you guys know how I feel already." They all joked and teased talking about different things. He appreciated that despite being bashful, they all can be quite open with their crushes. Mina is the best because she knows how to toe the line of teasing without making it super obvious. A precarious line that she teeters over dangerously but, never has crossed. 

"So Kirishima likes Tetsutetsu, I like Koda, Mina you like Ochako, and Sero you like Jiro, I'm pretty sure Bakugo likes Todoroki or Midoriya, maybe both." He ducked in time to miss the swing from Bakugo. He was being violent which meant he was right. The rest of lunch went by smoothly, with the end of the day coming by with free-lance training. It was Friday and the last hour where Aizawa didn't give a shit whether or not you trained properly as long as you were moving and doing something. Denki decided to see if he can grab Koda and train together a.k.a semi-train and more talking. He loved it and he was confident enough and observant as well to notice Koda at least enjoyed his company. He was surprised though when they all changed into their gym uniform and went outside he was approached by Koda first. A pleasant surprise. 

"D-do you want to....train?" He was shuffling side to side and it took everything in Denki not to bear hug the gentle giant. God how can one person be so cute, he doesn't understand

"Of course! I was going to ask you but, you beat me to it." He grinned happily ear to ear. A smile never leaves his face when he was in his presence. He really was head over heels. For the next hour, the two of them focused on his electricity control as well as Koda's anivoice range in between using sign language to talk. A few people knew sign language so Denki made sure they were a little secluded so, said, people won't snoop in on their conversation. "Hey Koji, I got something I want to give you later on. Text me sometime this afternoon when you're free, yeah?" Denki was nervous but, he refused to show it. He was an Alpha! He had to be cool, calm, and collected. At least for Koji anyway. Koji stared at him, blinked, and with a soft smile nodded his head. Denki was excited.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Too soon it was the afternoon just about the evening time and Koda texted him to come to his room. Denki was nervous. He looked at the gift basket that he was working on for the last month to pop the question. He had a wolf, a giraffe, a penguin, and a raccoon stuffed animal, with candies, some nature DVDs, books, and tickets to go to the botanical gardens and the zoo. He did all of this so he can pop the question. It's been festering. He wants to ask him to be his Omega. He really hopes he says yes.

"Okay, Denki. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." He had his scent patch off and the basket in his arms. He took a deep breath, looked at the text sent a minute ago, and made his way to Koda's dorm. He let his squad know what was happening so they were aware. If it backfired, they had snacks and movies, and ears to listen to. He really hoped it didn't backfire. He made it to the dorm knocking and waiting for an answer. He heard shuffling 'here goes nothing'. The door was opened to a smiling Koji

"Hi, Denki! Come in." He was so cute allowing him inside his humble abode. He looked and saw a nest built on his bed. A really comfy-looking nest at that. The door was closed and locked behind him. That's when he pulled out the basket before he chickened out. He heard the gasp and couldn't look so he focused on the nest. 

"I, uh, have been courting you for a very long time. Even before I acknowledged it myself. It all started that night I asked to pet Yuwai. I loved being your friend, it's the best and most soothing and calming friendship I ever had the pleasure of experiencing. However, I wanted more...so I started courting you slowly and I thought, um, I would ask you with a basket. I got tickets for botanical gardens and the zoo...I-if you want t-to go that i-is." He was stuttering, his nerves getting the best of him. That's why he was surprised when he got an armful of Koji. He obviously hugged back. 

"I...would love to go with you...." Denki couldn't believe his ears. He squeezed Koji back loving the muscles and softness as well under his pajamas. 

"Does...this mean you...want me as your Alpha?" A quick yes was heard and Denki was on cloud nine. He couldn't believe it worked and his pining and his feelings were all returned. This was the best day of his life. "Thank you." He couldn't wait to show him off to everyone. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you guys think about it?

[mintharan]

God, I so agree with you about playersexual characters. That’s not even mentioning that usually when romanceable characters have specific sexualities, the most plot relevant characters are straight. You don’t have to look farther than the dragon age games to see examples of this (Alistair and Morrigan, Solas and Cassandra). And people talk up DAI like it’s the gold standard of representation when the lesbian character has so little content that she could be completely removed from the game with no consequences to the overall plot. They did a good job with Dorian and no one will look past that to see that the options for women feel pretty halfhearted. Anyway, it’s way more important to me from a representation standpoint that plot-relevant content isn’t locked behind having to play as a certain gender than it is for romanceable characters to have defined sexual orientations. I play on a console so I can’t install mods, and the options that I have in BG3 or even DA2 make the experience way more satisfying than games where I have to play as a man just to see the better developed, more plot-relevant romances. Sorry for the novel but I have a lot of feelings about this and get so frustrated seeing all the most popular takes.

Yeah ultimately this is my take as well! I actually like Sera better than Dorian tho! I think he's a good character despite the large part of his narrative that revolves around homophobia, which isn't to say that homophobia doesn't have a place in fantasy, it does! It can be done so well and in such a threatening way and as something that the characters have to overcome or that makes their romance even more meaningful.

But that's not what happens with Dorian, he has a homophobic dad, in a country where homophobia is kinda sorta common among the upper class of what is largely a slaver society, aaaand he's away from all that in a nation where nothing of that happens. So the major 'conflict' of his personal quest falls flat. There are no stakes, he's not in Tevinter, so none of the homophobia really matters. I just included him in the list of good gay characters because he's brought up by so many other people. I do think he's a great character, actually, I just think the way the game handled his sexuality was super silly.

I only romance female characters with female pcs and likewise for male characters, so yeah I agree with you that it's insulting when you realize that right I paid for this game and can't really get more than one playthrough, maybe 2 out of it and with a narrative experience that is much lower in quality.

It's frustrating as a gay person to be forced to play a straight romance, which is why the playersexual model (where characters still have romantic and sexual interests outside of the player) is the best way to do it. Because the alternative is that gay people get fucked and I absolutely hated the argument I saw on twitter that it's 'more realistic to real life experiences' which is so fucking condescending.

In real life I'm married to a woman and all our friends are dykes, fags and trannies, so by that logic in the game I'll develop in the future all companions will be gay, a good many will be gay and trans, but there's going to be a single cis het person whose narrative revolves around how horny I don't know, reproduction, makes them, in order to be the most realistic to 'real life experiences'. I expect that cishet people will be part of my game's playerbase and be fine with this and pay full price for this fantastic gaming experience.

[withjake-blog]

After the battle

Hey hey hey ! I AM SOOO HAPPY to come back here for a new story about our favorite duskwood couple I named : Jaaaake annnd Mccc(me). The story that you're gonna read takes place after Richy and Jessy phone each other in the tunnels.

There will only be 2 points of view. The first is mine. I don't know if I would do other chapters of this one, this story is mostly about what I would have done I was in the game. Good ! We can start I think :)

Genre : Romance, violence, mystery

Warning : spoil ep 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mc pov :

It happened too fast. It shouldn't have happened. Why? Why did he do that? We could have talked about finding a solution. I had forgiven him!

The only thing left was the fire. I can't leave my phone. A solution, I needed a solution. I have to go see them.

But you made a promise.

But they need me! I was desperately looking for a bag in my vast apartment. Shit. Shit. Shit !

-Where is it ! I scream

A bark made my head spin. It was Whisky my dog, he has my travel bag in his mouth.

-Good boy !

I run to take the bare necessities and I take the first ticket for Duskwood. Only six hours away, okay. I'm sorry Jake, but I have to do it. I take Whisky with me and I grab my phone.

-Here we go my baby.

Jake pov :

I am stuck. Between one of the tunnel exits, the river and two agents. Okay Jake, think twice. If they catch me I'm finished.

And you made a promise

Yes. Well I have to attract one to me to knock him out. It will give me more chances to go into the water and go through the forest. But if I do that my hardware will be damaged.

Ok. So we improvise.

I took a stone to throw it towards one of them, he turned around and came towards me. It was dark, so I was able to go behind him and nudge him behind the head, without making a sound I took off his uniform and put it on. His colleague who was talking on the phone doesn't pay attention to me. Quad I was far enough I started running in the forest even if I didn't know where I was going. Behind me I heard dogs barking. Shit ! I ran even faster but I heard it getting closer and closer to me fortunately I fell on a road and I stopped one of the cars passing by to get into it.

-Get started !

The person who was driving rushes towards the city and luckily for me, the agents had probably lost me in the forest. I took a moment to breathe but when I turned my head I saw a familiar face staring at me like I was a ghost. Wait a minute?

-Dan !

-But who the fuck are you?! He shouted

-And why did you jump in my car ? said a female voice to me

-Cleo ? I say shocked

What a crazy coincidence

-How do you know our name ? Who are you ? she ask me

I take the hood off my hoodie so they can see my face.

-My name is Jake. I say seriously

Cleo braked suddenly and Dan put his hands on his head.

-Jake ?! they both screamed

-We don't have much time for presentation, i need you to get me away from here.

-Ok

-Was it really Richy ? Dan ask me

-What are you talking about ?

-Jessy... Jessy was crying before we left for Duskwood, she said it was him and then she locked herself in a room. Cleo answers me

-So that was him... He is the one who started all this, but how? And why ?

-We don't know more than you. As usual it is Mc who has the answers to our questions. But she answers none of our calls and messages. Dan tells me

Mc... I hope she don't do what I think she wants to do.

Mc pov

Five hours after Jake escaped.

One more hour until I get to Duskwood. I was on a bus after taking a train, Whiskey was sleeping next to me, but I couldn't. I kept crying thinking about Richy and Jessy. I thought that after I found Hannah, everything would be easier. But it only got worse. I didn't even know what to do when I arrived.

The bus stopped at the penultimate stop, Moonvale. I think I'll go see Alan Bloomgate first like I promised him if he was going to save Hannah.

-Everyone get off, last stop Duskwood !

-Come on come Whisky, we've arrived.

Yeah it was short ;) I wrote it just for fun and because I missed Jake...

[noa-ciharu]

Heh Heh

What about....

Yuna D. Kaito, Akira Ijyuin, Seishirou, and Best boi Clow? (I am kidding on the Clow part though)

I haven't read ccs2 so I'll skip Kaito. Ik who he is but idk anything about him. Also based on diversity of length of replies you'll clearly see my favoritism lol 😎

Akira:

Sexuality headcanon:

I guess he's straight? He had crush on a woman his whole life, married men and they're living happily together

Gender headcanon:

Cis male

OTP:

Probably him and that girl of his. Sorry I keep on forgetting her name, I'm rly bad with names

BROTP:

Suoh, Akira and Nokoru

NOTP:

Who is he paired with anyway? If someone is shipping Akira with Suoh or Nokoru that's fine with me really. So no ship I dislike

Random headcanon:

I'm 300% sure Akira met his dad by accident (from Akira's perspective) on street, on his bday to the boot, and just never figured out it's his dad. Comedy shojo style ofc

General opinion:

He was so adorable, I adore him. Also I like how Clamp draws his hair nowadays

It's cute and someday unique

Clow:

Sexuality headcanon:

I guess he's bi? He was too touchy with Yue and it got me like SUS

Gender headcanon:

His gender is magical bastard

OTP:

None really

BROTP:

Also none. We don't know anything about his past so we dont know who his friends were

NOTP:

I'm actually not opposed to Clow/Yuuko, I just like to joke about it. I don't ship it but I can see why some people do. Beside Yuuko, idk if Clow is shipped with anyone else

Random headcanon:

I literally can't come up with anything. Sorry :<

General opinion:

Actually this is where my problem lays, it's bc I read CCS hurriedly back in 2015 and all I know about Clow is that he was some powerful dude that acted nonchalant and managed to fuck up time and space somehow. Also that clamp somewhat used his as plot device (?). Ik he appeared in Tsubasa too but I feel like I'd have easier time getting college degree than understanding trc ending

So yea, I basically lack info on Clow to form an option that isn't based on jokes and what I've learned from fandom

Seishirou:

Sexuality headcanon:

Subaru-sexual he's gay af. His TB vet persona is literally campy older gay guy who preys on younger males. Chicken Hawk really. Because look. Sumeragi twins are bi bait. They look the same and are both beautiful af. We all know who Seishirou had eyes for during whole year. So yea, defo gay. Actually, let's just keep it as Subaru-sexual, yea that's the most fitting description

Gender headcanon:

Bastard babygirl cis male I guess

OTP:

Seisub ofc. If I had to sort them then X>TB>TRC versions. They're just so... written. Honestly in the end it doesn't even come to whether one ships them or not, bc their story altogether is a very powerful tragedy. Also I'm generally non-emotional person and extremely hard to emotional affect (literally over 95% of media I watch leaves no profound effect on me) but two of them (TB/X in general), damn did it cut. Damn does their story cut in deep, not just in terms of romance, but in terms of lonliness and isolation of modern cities; in terms of tragedy, character development and complexity of human nature and interpersonal relationships. Honestly I can go miles about seisub and how it fundamentally changed way I do and view shipping but I'm a bit sleepy rn. I've been chasing high I experienced with seisub and whilst I can recreate it with some other clamp ships at the moments, I can't with ships outside clamp fandoms.

BROTP:

In TB/X it absolutely has to be his relationship with Hokuto. Power duo they were unstopable, Subaru couldn't catch a break. In that manner TB trio too. But not just comedy moments, but ones like this:

At moments I wonder if Seishirou underestimated Hokuto. She is bubbly, seemingly has somewhat shallow interestes and such, but behind cheerful surface (maybe even front she puts up for Subaru's sake so she'd cheer him up), Hokuto is extremely sharp and mature girl for her age. There were few moments where Seishirou and Hokuto had serious convos, usually about Subaru's self sacrificial and sensitive nature. And Seishirou always had his smirk and inner 'quite observant out of you Hokuto-chan' moment.

In X he barely interacted with anyone beside Subaru. Ik we as fandom joke about Seishirou and Fuuma being bastard bffs but if we were to serious take X, then I'd say Seishirou would prefer to avoid Fuuma altogether. Ofc he'd never let Fuuma know that, it'll be considered vulnerability. He'd be unnerved not only by someone stronger than him, but also with ability to see what dwells in one's heart. Fuuma could hold a mirror reflecting his soul and Seishirou would rather stay blind to what he sees there

NOTP:

Ofc I saw some crack ships with Seishirou but I never saw a serious ship with fanbase that's not seisub. I guess I'd be a bit ?? if he's paired with a woman. Ofc unless said woman is Setsuka, because tbx fandom is still torn whether motherfucker is just an insult or description for Seishirou

Random headcanon:

He wears sunglasses to save eyesight and 'put distance between himself and world around him'. But I'm sure Seishirou keeps sunglasses on regularly to turn blind eye to reason behind his blind eye, so to speak. Deep down he knows he moved in front of knife on impulse to protect Subaru and that deeply unnerves him. Of course all subconsciously, thus he'd rather not be reminded of that inner turmoil. Still it's rather ironic Seishirou and Subaru parted in TB with both leaving marks of reminder on each other's body. Subaru remembers Seishirou whenever he looks at his hands and Seishirou sure as hell remembers Subaru from time to time when he looks at his blind eye

Also I think Seishirou made bet on impulse based on deeply rooted wish for connection with another human being. Ofc he never became aware of said wish because it's ego-dystonic to him. He views emotions as weakness, love included.

General opinion:

😎🦅🌸🌈🚬