#like. im never excited about it. ~just aro things~

[wild-moss-art]

I’ve been dating and I try not to dress my absolute best for meetups bc I don’t like to be held to that standard but it’s so difficult bc I slay too hard in everything I wear 😔

[declawedwildcat]

.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! This isn’t exactly a sex Ed question but it is related to sex. I’m aro/ace, and I’ve noticed that a lot of other aro/aces say that allos see friendship as a stepping stone to sex or romance, and less important than romantic relationships. I guess it makes sense, but my best friend irl is a gay boy (im a girl) and he obviously isn’t interested in dating an aro/ace girl. I made a post saying this and people in the notes were saying that he’s either secretly bi and lying to make me feel safe, or I’m an egg. I don’t believe either of those things but it got me wondering, is it common for allos to use friendship as a way to get close to people for the purpose of dating or having sex with them? Personally I’ve never experienced that but enough aro/aces are saying it that I have to wonder

hi anon,

okay so we need to start with the part about your best friend, because it's really important to me that we take a minute to recognize anyone trying to convince you that a gay boy is only hanging out with you because he has secret romantic feelings is being a homophobe. I mean, listen, it's annoying and childish when people act like men and women can't be friends in general, okay? but in this case they're not just being heteronormative, they're being actively homophobic. block anyone who said that. jesus christ.

secondly: I don't know if you've ever, like, spent time with people, but yes, many folks find romantic partners amongst their circles of friends because that's who they spend a lot of time with and build meaningful connections with, which can develop into feelings of sexual or romantic attraction for people who experience those things. I'd say it's less often a a case of anyone "using" friendship as a means to an end and more often a case of people realizing that a friendship is taking an exciting new direction and deciding to pursue those feelings.

there's a long-lasting trope, especially prominent it sitcoms and romcoms, of someone (usually a sleezy man) acting friendly to get close to someone else (usually a woman) with the intent of seducing them, but a.) like most works of fiction, that's much less common in real life, and b.) there's a huge difference between lying to someone intentionally and just developing a crush on someone you already know and like, which I think is the MUCH more common scenario.

like, don't get me wrong here, it's absolutely true that we live in a society(TM) that pretty materially privileges romantic relationships - specifically monogamous, legally-binding relationships - over other types of relations, and that's a fucking doozy. that's a thing to work on, for sure. but it's also not weird or creepy that some people couple up with their buddies.

[simpfordemetri]

THEY PASSED THE TEST! VOLTURI KINGS X READER

Y/N never had any good relationship,in the past she always conformed herself with the bare minimum,her last boyfriend were absolutely horrendous,she begged all the time to him to even show a bit of his love for her but he never did.

Then the relationship turned into complete manipulation as he promised he will change and act like a man,you believed him over and over again hoping some day it will be true.

Until you started therapy,that women helped you a lot to achieve self love,self steem,and what you deserve in the person you love.Not talking about material,no,love can be show in many ways and there are many love languages.

Time later,in a ship to Volterra you met them,the Kings,Aro,Caius and Marcus,at first you were reluctant to met them,to be fair they were three men who said you are their mate,they are vampires and they are kings who rule the vampire world.

You spent your days in the library,reading through all the mistery books they have there to entertain yourself and everyday trying new recipes from a kitchen book they keep there.Or on the music room,learning easy song on the piano that you barely know how to use.Days were long and each day you noticed changes in their behaviour that made you question yourself if you should give them a try.

First month when you entered your room a huge buquet of flower,that you didnt know how but they were your favourite,was there in the middle of the room.

Everyday your breakfast was delivered to your room without question.There wasnt a day they skipped it.

All weeks you received love notes,each week from one of them,and they all have a special talent on writing romantic quotes.

Expensive jewlery appear out of nowhere every once in a while with your favourite gold color.

That list of things could go on until today,the day you decided to go in the throne room and talk to them,in private,just you…four,sounded weird.

You woke up early,and there was your breakfast,after eating it,you took a shower,changed into something nice but comfy,did your makeup natural just adding concealer,blush and lash mascara and with that you headed to the throne room.

The doors were opened for you as you entered the big room where you have been just a couple of times.

The big smile of Aro greet you as he shouted your name in happiness.

Not knowing what to said,you decided to let them talk.anyways they were the ones that had to show their truly excitment of being with you.

-Cara mia,is a pleasure to finally have you here,we decided to give you some spice as you seemed…a bit unwilling of getting to know us-Aro started.

-I was,and im still are-

-No need to be like that,we are sure you saw all our gifts right?All of that were your favourite,we got contacts-Caius,for the first time in ages,were truly happy and soft while talking.

-I can see the bound grew strong,you can give as a chance,we are good lovers for you,afterall we are mated,its not decided by us,its decided by destiny.If you dont like it,you are free to go.-Marcus said,and he wasnt lying,he and his brother agreed on letting you go if thats was what you wanted

When you hear that,your heart made a click,you want to go?No you dont want that,its not that bad here and the feeling of letting this behind was very stressful to think about.

Without warning Aro took your hand in his reading your thougts as you seemed to be zoned out.His face light up in love looking back to his brothers.

-We have a chance-

Hope you like this🫶🏼

[shigayokagayama]

gender+random headcanon for tome? or tsubomi, whichever one you're feeling

why not both?

tome:

Sexuality Headcanon:

lesbian!!!

Gender Headcanon:

trans girl! ive actually thought about this one a lot but her whole arc of like. coming out of her mostly male friendgroup and trying to totally remake herself to fit into a girl friendgroup and make herself more palatable to girls her age before realizing that all her friends have weird hobbies too and you dont have to stifle all your interests to fit in with other girls fits the experience of a lot of trans girls i know

A ship I have with said character:

her and keiko from the reigen manga

GAY PEOPLE

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob's friendship is very special to me but her and the whole telepathy club ouuughhhhhhh alien arc my beloved... i miss when youd get like 20 posts a day of her and takenaka messing with each other with telepathy shenanigans they mean the world to me. i also think she and teru would get along really well theyd be terrible influences on each other.

A NOTP I have with said character:

i really cannot see her with mob i know this is punching down because theres maybe 1 person on the planet who ships this but theyre definitely a "mob-kun youre my best friend and i love you but i would never date you under any circumstances" sorta friendship. also not really a notp just a "?" but of the possible femslash ships i feel like her and tsubomi appeals to me the least. probably just because they never interact and we dont know enough about tsubomi's interests to know if theyd have anything in common. it gives "pair the spares but we dont like mezato" to me.

A random headcanon:

tome mentions in one of the semi canon anthologies that kijibayashi asked her out when they were first years and im incorporating that into my worldview. i also think she and takenaka had a like one week long middle school "relationship" that consisted primarily of them being too awkward to speak to each other or be in each other presence until they broke up over text just because it makes alien arc even funnier. also more of a reigen headcanon than a her headcanon but in the context of reigen manga i think it makes sense if reigen was very similar to her in middle school then when he was approaching highschool he was like "well i cant stay passionate about things forever" and dedicated himself solely to being a good student and good employee til he burned himself out.

General Opinion over said character:

she is solidly my second favorite mp100 character i love her so so much shes so special to me shes like. level of favorite character where i get excited handflaps seeing art of her. daughter of all time.

tsubomi:

Sexuality Headcanon:

aro lesbian is fun for her i think!

Gender Headcanon:

one of my friends really likes transmasc tsubomi and i respect the vision. boy fans be like "not yet"

A ship I have with said character:

mezato and tsubomi. listen. listen to me. of all the femslash ships it makes the most sense. every time we ever hear mezato talk about tsubomi it gives "dear dumb diary". that girl is one long psychoanalytical speech about this girl she's never even had a conversation with from realizing she's bisexual and i think tsubomi would find mezato a really interesting person to interact with. they'd study each other like bugs. it's perfect.

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob staying friends is really important to me i like them a lot </3

A NOTP I have with said character:

honestly none really, like i said with tsubomi i dont really get tsutome but i dont dislike it. i prefer her and mob as friends but i dont necessarily think them getting together like. years post canon really ruins the message of the show or anything bc the whole point of the confession arc is that he was chasing this fake image he'd built of her as this perfect person so them getting to know each other and dating in the future wouldnt really ruin that i dont think.

A random headcanon:

i think she's a music person!!! one of her fanbook interviews mentioned that she likes to scream as loud as she can in empty piano rooms and it kind of put the idea of her going into music theory or smth when she's older into my head

General Opinion over said character:

i really really like her and find her narrative role interesting and i both wish we got more of her but also understand that knowing tsubomi would kind of ruin the plot of the show. seeing her only as glimpses and trying to extrapolate who she is through that is unfortunately the point </3

[radios-universe]

how come you like heartstopper and not romance? is it that you like the idea of romance but not the real thing? did you say romance as in you just don't like being involved in it yourself?

i have no idea what post this might be referring to or maybe just in general but i probably have talked about this so here we go!

fun ask to get tbh i Do talk about this a lot

short answer: you’re right, i enjoy consuming romance media (especially queer media) because i love the idea of romance…. however, when i personally have gotten too close to it in the past, i just freak out.

no matter how much i think i want it, my brain and my body just shut down when i get too close… and then the aftermath of that can feel pretty shit! bc usually i’m just annoyed at myself in some weird way, as if i didn’t just experience the same thing as i did last time, and the time before….

LONGER answer:

in terms of heartstopper, of course there are aro/ace characters represented (i mean, come on, duh, even alice themself) but we all know it’s a very romance centric show/comic

i’ve never been able to define if it’s just… a sense of identity within the characters or just generally being happy for them or…. a whole mix of emotions but!

seeing characters im emotionally attached and invested in get together and be happy is like!!!! drugs!!! idk!!!! and probably the closest thing i’ll get to experiencing that with… another person which seems like a very odd thing to say!!!

but that kind of excitement is something i guess i could never feel with a relationship of my own so… living vicariously through characters like the ones in heartstopper actually really helps me with aromanticism? it’s odd! and that def doesn’t go for everyone but it’s at least what happens for me

to expand on the queer media comment too, i’ll consume queer media that even might not represent aro/ace people at all! and still feel that same fulfilment!

if you take a story about a character realising they’re gay, people will focus on them realising they feel attraction for the same sex. i mean, that’s what it is at face value.

but an equally important part of the representation for gay characters is the realisation that they are not attracted to the opposite sex. and THAT i can relate to.

when representation for aro/ace people is this sparse, you get pretty used to finding representation in people you don’t really expect to. and that’s also what heartstopper does for me, while it fulfils my desire for romance through me living vicariously, it also represents me, not just in its aro/ace characters, but in every queer journey! because there’s always a sneaky hint of aro/ace representation anywhere as long as we can do something about it! hah

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

(not an ask literally just ranting about something you did that made me happy)

this is probably completely unnecessary but i literally follow you like religiously and i just wanted to let you know that you literally made my freaking day i reblogged something about aro week with like a thought or whatever (idk what to call it sorry) and you reblogged my thing like i don't know if it was just coincidence but it made me actually super happy because like - you're a HUGE blog to me and never imagined that anything aroace i said would like be noticed much less enough to be REBLOGGED like that's so snazzy i was literally text-screaming my friend i was so excited when i saw that notification

like literally i am happy stimming so much rn AAAAAAA

(i'm sorry if this is weird i'm high-key autistic and just really love your blog)

(also sorry i don't really get like the ENTIRE social thing at all so if i did it wrong sorry)

sorry if it was a waste of your time i just really really adore your blog and it made me super super happy sorry

Holy fuck I’m sobbing this is so kind of you 💜 😭 this made my day thank you so much!!! This is 100% not a waste of time 🫶 I’m glad you love my blog <3

( @awokenbydreams I’ve made it I’m being noticed bestie BESTIE IM BEING NOTICED)

[altschmerzes]

Hey! im ace and aro and was wondering if you could talk about what being engaged and getting married means and looks like to you as an aro person? I feel like so few people talk about it that i have no real frame of reference. it’s really cool that you’re happy and living authentically doing all these things and i guess yeah i just wanted to hear more about that if you felt like sharing! have a great day <3

yeah!!! i'm happy to talk abt that!! it's definitely nothing i've seen any kind of like..... broader awareness of, or people talking about, and i probably would've been like. more optimistic about my future if it had been something i'd seen, i think. this got a little long so i'm throwing it under a cut but here it is!! a bit of an explanation of like. How My Engagement/Marriage Works And How That Came To Be. (signed off on by my fiance, for the record - i didn't want to write out an answer to this without checking with them, but they're totally fine with it!)

i think it's probably wildly confusing to some people to see me post and talk abt being aro A Lot (it's one of the most prominent aspects of my online personality i think sdlfjs) including being like. incredibly romance repulsed, and then mention being engaged or having a fiance or referencing 'my wife' (though we're not married yet it is one of my Favourite jokes to make because 1. i think it's very funny, and 2. i just like saying it). people contain multitudes etc etc but i do wonder if people are confused by that sldfjs. my engagement is like... honestly everything i'd ever have hoped for if i'd asked myself at any point in the years since i started identifying as aromantic what my ideal life would include.

i've always had a hard time being alone and i wanted the intimacy and mutual support and just. ability to Do Life with someone that a relationship involved, while also being, as i've said, intensely romance repulsed and not really open to sex either. really just sort of figured that wasn't going to happen for me. the odds of not only meeting an aroace person (the only sort of person i thought might have an interest in the same sort of relationship i wanted and was comfortable with) irl never mind being compatible with them personally and in our priorities just seemed incredibly slim. which like... made me sad sometimes. i'd always sort of daydreamed about getting married which is wild for someone who is as romance repulsed as i am, which i know i keep saying but it really is an incredibly intense feeling for me (i tried dating once in high school and had several panic attacks before breaking it off after our third extremely mild fourteen/fifteen year old date, and often feel physically ill trying to read about fictional romance/watch it on tv). but y'know. sometimes we just don't get what we want in life, and i was fine with the idea of having my friends and my synagogue community and like. hoping my friends wouldn't all leave me behind alone as they all got into relationships.

what ended up happening is obviously not that. i'm really truly unbelievably thrilled every day to wake up and remember what i've got to look forward to every day. my engagement is entirely platonic, and it's exactly what both of us want and are just. beyond happy with and excited for. my fiance is a lesbian, actually, and has been incredibly good and patient with reassuring me that the relationship we have, exactly as it is, is what they want too, that they don't feel like i'm depriving them of anything. we love each other very much, and we're building the life together that we want, in exactly the way that we want.

and that's how it happened, really. we talked about what we wanted. i got engaged at the end of what i've referred to as a 'several hour long conversation' which is the truth sdlkfs. a close friend and i both had sort of 'evaluating the next couple years of our lives and how we wanted pivotal parts of our futures to go' moments about the same time, and it came up i think mostly as a half-serious suggestion that we could get married. for logistical reasons, it made sense for us. and then we started talking about what that might look like - what we wanted, from our lives and our futures, and our hypothetical marriage. and the more we talked about it, the more serious it got, the more real it got, and the more we both i think realized we wanted the same thing. the same life, the same way, together.

we talked about a whole lot in that first couple of days. one of the very first things we talked about actually was kids - did we want them? what was important to us about having and raising children (names, religion, etc)? then it was stuff like did we have strong feelings about where we lived. did we want our own rooms in our home, did we want to wear rings (i love my engagement ring. it makes me smile every time i notice it on my hand), what did we want to tell our friends. we had conversations about whether and how we wanted a wedding. what sort of physical intimacy we were comfortable with, what sort we might want (really glad we did that, and that we were honest and open about that - nothing better, it turns out, than Cuddling Your Wife). what sort of affection we were comfortable with around other people.

our relationship, our life, is what we want it to be. exactly what we want it to be. what makes us happy. we've built it from a vast and beautiful array of choices and options, adding the things we want and leaving the things we don't. it's an approach i would highly recommend to everyone, honestly - talking about what you want out of your relationship, what you want to do and how you want to be with someone rather than just picking which of a short list of proscribed 'types of relationship' you want to have. it leaves a lot more room for nuance and what will actually make you happy than much less contextually nuanced things like assuming your definition of 'dating' will match the other person's, or that the kind of relationship you want just isn't possible. setting up that kind of foundation in communication and honesty and being clear about our expectations and needs has fostered a relationship where i feel respected and valued and heard - and i'm reasonably certain (and i hope!) that they feel the same.

we travelled to my birthplace so they could be introduced to my family and my childhood best friend. it's always both surprising and amusing to me every time someone assumes i'm gay (gender is complicated but we both tend to read as women) - this happened a lot there, and as i've told my extended family and other more casual friends about my engagement. this doesn't bother me at all (i'm not out to almost anyone irl as aromantic, and it's a reasonable conclusion to reach given what information they have) but it's extremely funny when i also get to find out which of my family members/people i knew in middle school always sort of wondered if i was gay but never asked sldkjs. turns out the answer is 'a lot'.

re: assumptions, for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that does lead to some like... i can't speak for them but it gets a little weird for me sometimes, i'm not gonna lie. it feels a little like getting misgendered, having people assume that i'm in a romantic relationship. i say that as a nonbinary person who's mostly just. chill about not being out about that irl. that's the best descriptor i have to help people understand what might be a hard thing to understand. but it doesn't bug me enough to want to put myself - or my fiance - through what correcting that assumption would involve. i mostly don't blame anyone for it - it's extremely reasonable to assume someone who is engaged is in a romantic relationship with the person they're engaged to - except for when friends who know i'm aromantic and somehow think this means that's... changed, somehow? or jump to assuming i'm in a romantic relationship before considering i might not be in one and still be engaged anyway. so it's kind of weird, and feels a little bad, but not enough to really do anything about it except hope the world changes a bit and stops making assumptions about other people's relationships at some point.

that's really the only downside, hand to gd. that and worrying that there might be consequences, legally, if the wrong person finds out we're married but Not Like That. everything else is honestly amazing. it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so unbelievably happy. i never thought i'd ever get to be this happy, or have a future this bright and warm and full of love to look forward to. having spent a lot of my life for various reasons thinking i just wouldn't have a future at all, it's like every day is a really incredible dream, except i'm never going to have to wake up.

the moral of the story i guess, if you've made it this far in this novel of an answer, anon, which i wouldn't bet on, because it's so much longer than i planned on it being (SORRY SDLKFJS i guess this is more than just a 'writing fic' problem for me now XD), is that your relationships are what you make them. assuming that what you want isn't possible, or that nobody could possibly want the same thing, is a great way to cheat yourself out of something wonderful. nobody has to have any kind of relationship, obviously, if they don't want one, but i think there are a lot of people - aromantic and not! though i do think this probably impacts aro people. more. - who could benefit from the idea that there are more options out there than just like... 1. romantic relationship constructed in a specific way and following a specific path, and 2. being alone.

[hiro-doodlez]

Being aroace does kinda suck sometimes. Like, yeah, I don't have to worry about relationships and drama, but also the more my friends get into relationships the more I realize that I'm gonna get left behind. I feel like I'll always be the third wheel while all of my friends are off with their s/o

That might be why I get so hyperfixated on fandoms so much. Its like an escape, and how silly it is, something that can replace a relationship. While everyones at prom it'll be okay for me because I can still draw the skeleton and monkey guys. Those are things I have

And I'm not upset my friends are in relationships, not at all, but just. I wish romantic relationships weren't so.. valued above platonic ones

I can not tell you how badly I want to have a crush. I want someone who I'll get excited and blush over and just.. someone that has more chances to not find someone else and just. Leave.

Maybe I'm too clingy, maybe I get hurt too easily, but you gotta see this from my point of view. Imagine that all of your friends are in relationships. And you wanna be in one too. But you can't fall in love. You don't get that. Youre everyone's permanent third wheel.

Imagine it's valentines day and while watching everyone kiss and be together you get to sit and realize just how alone you truly are. And how it seems you'll always be.

"Everybody's falling in love and I'm falling behind" Laufey managed to catch so many of my jumbled and mixed feelings in a single line of a song, and it makes me.. happy to know that at least im not alone.

And. It goes back around to feeling mad at myself for being upset. And grahhhhh

Maybe this is just because those stupid kids were invalidating me SO HARD. I told them. My friends, that I'm aro/ace. I explained it. I told them what it was, how it feels, how much it can hurt, yet they keep telling me how it's a choice. How I'm just lesbian and refuse to come out.?? And?? Gruh

And also could be because both of my brothers invited their boyfriends over. And it was fun!! So much fun!! We were having a jolly ol time!! And then they did some little.. like. Smash bros but one s/o had the left side of the controller the other had the right side. And it was fun!! It was funny!! Until!! I realized I'm never gonna get that!! That person I can just turn to and hug because we won that round!! Im not gonna get to have that rush of joy that I can so openly and happily share with them!! I'm stuck like this! Alone!

And it's not their fault because they were just wanting to have fun together!! As couples!! But it still kinda hurt realizing I was just the third wheel!! Like always!! And!! Uh

Sorry

Bleh

Okay gbye

[peepeepoopoo1221]

Am I aromantic or self sabotaging?

ok so basically ive been in a relationship with my gf for two months, we were introduced by a mutual friend and she took the reins instantly. We went on our first "date" and it went great and I had so much fun and we continued to talk and she asked me to be her gf after 1 month of talking and it's been a dream since then. But i have a dilemma, since our first date she has been talking about me moving in with her after high school (my home life is not ideal) and calling us soulmates and saying we are perfect and has been planning our future since day one, the thing is I've been thinking about us and our relationship and i genuinely can't tell if i'm self sabotaging and think i don't deserve her or if i'm actually on the aro spectrum (specifically rose-romantic which is a micro label where you desire a relationship but once you actually are in one the attraction and desire is lost) which is why i'm freaking out a bit cause it's been fun talking and hanging out with her but idk if i was just so excited to finally have dated someone that i was ignoring how i felt or if i was like preforming how i thought i was supposed to act when dating someone and looking back i realised i was more excited about the milestones of going on my first date and having my first kiss more than the actual experience of it.

Like I actually can't tell if i just don't think i deserve this perfect girl (cause like i spent most of elementary at my catholic school thinking i was the actual worst person ever and also the part of me where im living in a house where my relationship would get me kicked out) but then also i feel like if that was the case id be able to talk to her about it but this thing. I feel like i'm fucking her over by doing this and dragging it on. I semi freaked out last night and did over 200 online quizzes which all said i was on the aro spectrum.

It's been causing me so much anxiety lately that my mom will find out and idk if i should be dating right now especially in a situation like this is a house like this with the added part of me like figuring shit out with my sexuality but idk if that's me trying to rationalise it. I have realised I feel more like she is a friend I hang out with and let kiss and do coupley things with me so she is happy but ive never felt good with them or like I enjoyed them, so i dont know if thats part of me being asexual or if its me being aro or even me not liking girls. LIfe is so over complicated someone on the internet please just tell me what I am.

[aroaceconfessions]

so im quite young but I think I'm aroace. I know I'm romance favorable definitely and sex-averse. things I know:

-I'm cupioromantic even if I don't use microlabels and won't say I'm cupio the majority of the time, I am

-I'd always be like "augh were too young to be having sex/dating/whatever" and soon that's not going to apply as much but it's still going to be my thought

-I think I've had 1-2 long term crushes. this makes me hesitant to ID as aro because I'm p sure I've HAD romantic attraction, just ya know twice in my entire life (for one of them my feelings were extremely strong, for like 6 months, and I wanted a relationship but every time I pictured us doing something sensual it was extremely weird. for the second sensual stuff came easy, I even dreamed about kissing them once lmao. but it was only like 2 weeks. a potential third was like 3 days, and idk if I wanted to date them but I also dreamed about us kissing?? I have no idea what that was) but basically I feel like I'd be like not really aro because I've felt a sparing amount of romo attraction

-on this note, I have dreamed about being in a romantic relationship with a LOT of people and I've crushed on 1-2

-aesthetic attraction is strong strong for me, where I mistook it for crushes often.

-I'd do the thing where I'd make up crushes to fit in and make my life feel more exciting because what could be more exciting than romance?? (now I could say cuddling with my cat or perhaps strawberry syrup on pancakes but amatonormativity was a biotch to my little self)

-I thought I was mspec for the longest time, not based off experiences but just like "would i be okay doing xyz with this gender?" and the answer was almost always yes but I'm a physically affectionate person and now the idea of like "let's kiss but platonically" is so appealing

-I always have kind of craved being in love or having someone crush on me, choose me. I don't think this was romantic attraction though- especially since I've struggled with being left out and being "no one's favorite" in friendships a metric crap ton. I was attracted to the idea of being wanted.

-one time my bsf (we were YOUNG young dear god why was i even wise to all this stuff at the time) admitted she had a huge crush on me like 9/10 intensity and I was flattered as fork but I wasn't romantically attracted to her. I said me too, 6/10 on feelings. I never had a crush on her but I would've been a-okay being in a relationship with her. and we "dated" and when she "broke up" with me it hurt but not in the way that "I love you so how could you" just that I felt this meant I'm no longer someone's top person.

-I would LOVE a qpr where we do traditionally romantic stuff^^ + calling someone my bf/gf?? wow /pos

-I think I'm experiencing aro grief and it's not the vibe

-relating to that one^^ I was afraid to ID as aro rather than greyro because I was afraid it was permanently cutting myself off from romance. I think I still subconsciously have that fear.

-the fact that I'm ace was never important to me like "duh I'm ace" so I don't feel the need to mention it ig?? it's just not important to me, is what it is. aromanticism takes center stage for me so I think I wouldn't use the SAM and just say I'm aro... but I feel like IDKKK it's weird okay feelings ufffff but if I identified as greyro I'd want to say greyroace I guess. this could change with time because I'm not at the age yet where I'm expected to be having sex.

WOW this was long, thanks for reading. I just needed to let all my thoughts and feelings out about this. I am still confused and conflicted but it's cool

[cerealmonster15]

ok twst sims update from when i was playing last night, continuation of my blabbing here lol + some DOODLES about it

opens discord dms...

ok so i think i literally was planning on just going to my heartslabyul household and organizing their garden a little but i did not end up doing that at all, bc i immediately got distracted by i guess the new(? idk when they implemented it) 'event' system in sims 4 in real time where theres like, weekly goals for shit you can unlock? anyway this one was about the grim reaper and i wanted to unlock the reaper scythe earring for my diasomnia boys [i unlocked it and then forgot to give it to them lol]

but i had tasks to do! including asking some sims about ambrosia. this is what silver had to say about it

hes really excited about necromancy or whatever i guess

i did complete this week's tasks for the event thing but i immediately got distracted in the middle of it because i forgot that i'd ALSO toggled recently the story progression for relationships, as i mentioned in the other post i linked. so i see this stuff

and im like. when did sebek start dating jamil. when did silver start dating cater. why do they look like Hell [they had just come home from work and were Exhausted lol]

so i've been sleuthing around trying to find other relationships that have spawned [i cant always remember if it's something i did or if it happened on its own lol] and like i checked beloved son juice spade, where i could see i had been working on forming the first year's polycule with him last time i played- but also. chenya was there.

meanwhile ACE had formed no new romances but he DID form HATER BEEF with ORTHO FOR SOME REASON SKDJHKGSJD

[sorry ortho literally doesnt look like ortho LOL i dont use CC and i believe i didnt have the option to make kids hair blue]

one day ill learn how 2 draw chenya but NOT TODAY IM BUSY SOWWY KING

trey also had started a strong romance with floyd,,, and like i think i had him start something with jade a while ago but never maintained it / a while ago before i got a certain mod to help w/this, there used to be a lot of relationship decay bc i had trouble keeping up w/all the different households lol so i think jade and trey just hadnt gotten much attention but they look so funny in treys relationship slots

i think when the game does it by itself it just slots them as partners immediately so like im assuming it's treating floyd and trey as partners, idr exactly, but this just looks like trey and jade are best friends w/some budding romantic tension, and then floyd just walked up to trey and was like hey wanna go smash our faces together KLFHSLKDJGKL. godspeed trey good luck w/whatever that is

and then cater and trey have a romantic bond but i guess hadnt actually kissed yet so i decided to move them along so they could be an Official Couple but like.

right after they kissed, caters son walked up and was Not Having It kfsdhlkJFDSKLJKLG

anyway we got the item that let us summon the grim reaper

i tried so hard to get cater to hook up with him but sims 4 said NO FUN ALLOWED THIS TIME >:'(

thats ok tho he can just be an ace aro king and we can be besties instead :] it's also really funny seeing The Grim Reaper respond to social interactions like an average sim ksdlghkljf

ANYWAY,

chenya was scared of him. but also still dressed for the pool. and thinking about flirting with trey fdjksjfgklsd deuce was also scared of the grim reaper bc my poor boy is like constantly Haunted. i think he has three fears now and i dont know how to Help Him

i jumped around a bit more and found rook and jade have a romance and i truly dont remember if i did that or if the game did it kfdsjfkljsd but i DO like jade/rook so theres a good chance It Was Me, but i have no memory of it kfdsjklfs.

vil also has beef with jamil and azul

but thats been there for a lil while and i think i remember seeing it sometime after i was playing jamil or azul and they were on a date at a convenience store that vil was Also At, and vil was 🧍 standing like right in the midst of them so i think it did that thing where he inserted himself into a group convo with them and then got mad that they were flirting, bc i think sims usually get mad when 2 are flirting within a 3+ convo LOL

hes in his crumplebottom era. no pda in my lobby.

i had idia hit on cater by bragging about his gamer skills

then i found out idia also had a game-spawned romance with none other than

KALIM JSKFJSDLKJKFLKSD despite the fact that he was like actively currently annoyed by CHEERY PEOPLE [i think bc rook was there and i have him as cheerful lol]

idia voice wow all these bubbly extroverts suck wheres my boyfriend kalim al asim kJFLDSJFD

ok almost done now we're back at silver and cater again where kfdljsfkljs silver was still Yearning so i had him invite cater over to try and clear the wish to Smooch Boyfriend but like. i could NOT get the make out option to appear and thats specifically the one he'd rolled for so i was trying to spam romance w/them and it was like

i had them do their first kiss. then cater auto kissed silvers cheek and it was cute!

[i'd also given silver a small makeover lol]

then i saw shortly after the convo turned to very awkward and i was like huh why, theyre having positive reactions, theyre both flirty still, what- LILIA?!?!?!?!

dad walks up from behind them and is like ARE YA WINNIN SON??? so i got him the hell out of there klsdjflk he was embarrassing his son.... then as soon as he was out it swapped back to romantic interactions lol but i still couldnt get make out to appear. but u know what did if you saw the other post where i talked about this

silver nearly instantly had the option to propose to cater but he coudlnt bc their friendship is BARELY ANYTHING [you can see it peeking out on the right over there lol] so like. flash fire romance of them spawning something, me spamming romance interactions to try and fulfill the want, and no friendship progression fdksjgkldf

anyway then they all went to work can cater just kinda hung out in the kitchen w/their broken stove

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BYE!!!

[rynnlovers]

i just need 467s RPG au or just modern au for no reason at all

actually there is a reason im so tired of the angst fucking hell orz

so like modern au right rynn the third son and representative salesman of a biiig gem company and oswald a newscaster / journalist who travels a lot of places for inspiration / news and stuff. rynn is like this very handsome, calm, kind, considerate young man who's really friendly in contrast to his status. but no one can really read him and don't really know what's going on in his life and stuff.

but like then imagine the gem company CEO's son one day just, catch his eyes on a journalist, then like something just spark inside of him (who is severely sleep deprived) so he just run just to the journalist and ASKED HIM OUT ON A DATE LOLLLLL few seconds passed and after the journalist said a quiet "Pardon?" rynn realized what he had done and just SPRINTED OUT OF THERE LOLLL hes so funny i love it

rynn's situation

so like the mym's had no prior connection to the big clan, maybe its like they're under their influence or its just like kinda a mafia of that area but the jewelry company is just the mym's family business.

in this au rynn is the miyami's biological child tho so thats really really sweet 😭😭😭 finally the truest the mym's can be :') okay so getting to the thing

so, after rynn had graduated for 2 years (his major is just business & marketing) the company went into a major decline and they had to ask for the clan head to help. they agreed to help but on one condition that one of their child must get married to one of their daughters, essentially joining the clan. rynn's parents was hesitant on this, rys is already married, sol is working overseas + currently dating and their youngest son is just in a beginning stage of their adult life. but the company is hit pretty hard and they really have no other choice or else they'll just have to shut down entirely.

but rynn's fine with the marriage tho. it's not really like he just want to sacrifice for his family or smth also, rynn knows that it's extremely unlikely that he'll ever really put effort into finding a life partner otherwise (aro stuff). rynn had never have much expectation for marriage and he figured that:

1. rynn has had quite an experience with roommates in the past and get along with people really well & easily.

2. since hes really doing numbers in his current job (not working in the mym's company currently) it's quite enough to feed another mouth in worst case scenario. plus if they decided to have a child, rynn'll be really happy bc he loves kids and had dreamt of adopting one in the past.

so the situation doesn't really effect rynn much. he doesn't feel too strongly about just marrying a stranger anyways and worst case scenario, he can just move out and leave that apartment to her if she so wants. its a huge change and risk for him but if it's for his family he's very much happy to do so.

safe to say they got the help they needed, rynn got married to a woman in that clan and everything is… well i guess?

so rynn and that woman started to develop a relationship. rynn made it clear from the start that if she's uncomfortable staying with him, they don't have to be a couple at all. just consider him a roommate, they're only married by name and rynn respects her boundaries fully. so months passed and rynn actually started to care for the girl for a bit, the more they spend time together the closer they get. rynn really enjoyed coming home to a non empty apartment and their xx life had been exciting. so imagine his surprise when the girl got pregnant and he’s about to be a dad. rynn beamed at the news, promised the girl he’s gonna do anything to make their child and her happy and that she had nothing to worry about. he’s gonna provide for them to have a comfy life and she can do whatever she wants he just wanted her to be happy with their child. (they literally hit a gold of marrying rynn.) so the pregnancy continued and rynn’s very excited at literally every doctor’s appointment

[mothmovies]

Just a half rant, but like I feel like im the only one who didn't immediately sus out that Tyler was the hyde in Wednesday. I was so focused on how nice he was, and I loved that he talked about going to therapy and semi standing up to his dads toxic masculinity never talk about your emotions view on things. He wasn't particularly great as a love interest, but as a character, I was excited to get a more emotionally open guy who stood up for that and was really hoping he would be around in season 2 so we could hopefully see more of that... idk feel kinda disappointed he was the Hyde, but at the same time, it was a decent twist cus of how attached I was to him. Mixed emotions.

Edit: Im an Xavier hater fr though and still fully support Wednesday being aro/ace

[toh-tagteam-au]

Is Hunter still going to be aroace in your au?

EDIT: I’m going to be sticking with Aro Hunter going forward, and I appreciate all the replies to this post! I’m keeping this up for personal reference, but just a heads up I’m no longer unsure. 

Original answer below:

----

Im glad you asked this because I've been wanting to make a separate post about this since Labyrinth Runners but I kept chickening out. Apologies for the wall of text in advance.

Full disclosure + some context before I get into it: I really like keeping Tag Team as close to canon as I possibly can. It's why towards the beginning of development I kept certain plot points open ended. I'm lucky that I didn't have to retcon any comic parts that were already posted pre-season 2b (the next few updates would have been ruined by some of the reveals in Hollow Mind, so I'm kind of glad I waited).

I never really expected Hunter to get into a relationship/hint at attraction at all back when it was season 2a, so I was comfortable having him be aroace since the chances of it being conflicting with canon were slim. I was in the group of people who were like "there's no way his character arc would have that much time/it would be rushed/wouldn't make sense if it did happen" etc. Plus, I'm aro myself. I was kind of excited to do a storyline that sort of reflected my own experiences with attraction and lack thereof. And I liked the ships that fandom brought forward, but I wasn't expecting them to move past the crack-ship category. So again, I felt secure in my canon-compliant-ness of Hunter's aro-ness.

But season 2b introduced the REALLY INTERESTING concept of Hunter and Willow actually being canon somehow. Or at least Hunter being attracted to her in some way. I was fascinated. Their actual canon dynamic is GREAT!! Teen soldier who was introduced as a hard-ass gets blushy at a school girl who can and would kick his shit in and is implied to not even think of him romantically yet. Not to mention the whole narrative catharsis at seeing a clone of Caleb, notorious husband of a witch, also falling for a girl. I love it SO MUCH!

So that brings me to an unfortunate choice I was sort of hoping you guys would help me with?

On one hand, I love Hunter and Willow. I love that they're implied to be a potential thing and that they'll have more dev in season 3. Their dynamic is my jam and it makes so much literary sense that they'd have chemistry, not to mention it just brings out the best in both of their developments in canon (Willow being a nervous shy girl with no self esteem turning into someone who can and will kick the emperor's ass to save her friends, Hunter being a heavily abused high ranking child solider turning into a blushy mess in front of a strong girl). I just love it. Nothing about his sexuality has come up in-comic so far, so I wouldn't have to retcon anything to make that a thing in TT.

On the other hand,,, I've already said that TT!Hunter is aro on this blog. I've sort of built up/mentioned this pseudo-romance arc he was going to have around the Grom episode. A lot of you seemed super excited about him being aro back when I first mentioned it, and I don't want to disappoint you guys and fake you out by being "surprise!!! he's allo!!!" I guess I could have him be Demiromantic or just ace to keep that vibe of aspec, but I don't want it to feel like a consolation prize either.

So it's this unfortunate back and forth between me really liking Willow and Hunter/wanting to keep things as canon as possible, versus sticking to what I've said out-of-universe in the past. I kind of get the sense that both options have their own baggage – I'm unsure if the aro hunter vs hun//tlow discourse is as intense as my dash makes it out to be since I try to avoid it and I generally like both options, but choosing one kind of feels like I have to choose a side. So I wanted to ask you guys what you think/want to see.

Feel free to reply to this post, say ur opinions in the tags, or send me asks on what you think. I probably won't respond to all of them, but I'll definitely read them all and take them into account.

[mariii1]

~LGBTQ+ Exclusive~

What will your first sexual encounter be like? 18 +

This is my first pick a card on Tumblr and I'm so excited!!! Lipgloss was the main inspo for this if you couldn't already tell. This is an 18+ reading, LEGAL ADULTS only :) Let me know what other pick a cards you want and readings are done below <3Edit: My Masterlist!

1: You might feel really nervous and embarrassed like wanting to hide within yourself. It something about genitals, I'm getting your own; you may just feel very insecure about them maybe dysphoric as well. You're very in your head about this, you may even feel pressured (NEVER have sex with anyone that pressures you; NOBODY is entitled to your body nor can they tell you what you can't and can do with your body, you don't have to have sex just because other peeps said you should) I'm getting the nervousness might make it hard to get aroused and just relax in general. This person who you're having it with may try to comfort you but I personally don't like their vibe. I feel they know you're uncomfortable but won't back down. They're extremely excited/horny but they don't get the memo that their partner doesn't feel the same way. In order to prevent this from being an experience, you may want to think about how you can better your relationship with your body and form new opinions on sex and sexuality in general.

2: Whats up to all my non binary folx??? I see you:) Cobrah-good puss is coming up, I'll link the song, this giving very much gay/lesbian vibes, a lot of people here are attracted to the same genitals they got. Wetnesssss, or lots of body fluids or lube, especially if d1cks are involved.  All the cards have something dripping or emphasis on the prrssy. Lots and lots of orgasms, you guys might feel very sticky from sweat and other body fluids. Some of you might be under the influence when this happens (I don't encourage doing things like this intoxicated) You're just gonna feel very good and I feel like the focus is more on you and you being satisfied. Whoever your doing stuff with is very chill, go with the flow type of person, even if they're cishet, they respect your identity fully (we love allies, especially when they eat us out 🥰) Yeah, think about the most arousing/ appealing scenario in your head and it will happen :)

3: Do some of y'all listen to hard techno? HEX?? Ifykyk That was v random anyway, you might feel alone? Not in a depressing way though like I think some of you consider penetration as losing your virginity so you might take it away yourself by using a d1ldo. You could have it in public, (some of you are sooo bold) you'll probably be intoxicated, like someone might just watch you touch yourself/ mutual master6ation vibs fr. Sounds v nice tho but honestly this is nothing too hot or even scandalous but I feel like this will happen where there's a lot of people. A lil quickie but make it solo and voyeuristic.

4: honestly might not be that great. Yeah I feel like its gonna happen then you'll be over it. A few of you are ace/aro trying to prove to yourself that you are... You might talk about it afterwards with a few friends or for some of you, your first experience has more than one other person involved. It might be pretty bad I'm not sure if you'll regret it though. Im not seeing pain or anything serious,  but there's a lack of interest it might be boring or not arousing at all. I feel you might do this with someone you don't care about or it could be someone very random.

5: This could take awhile to manifest/ happen. You'll feel very contradictory thoughts while its happening like you can't make up your opinion. Honestly what will happen will be different scenarios for all of yiu so maybe I'll do a reading only focusing on the physical side of it (let me know!) but you might really like some aspects and hate others. I think you're really just exploring, i think your partner/ whoever you're having this with is into helping with that. For some of you, maybe you've never  mastur6ated or watched p0rn or talked about s3x so you really might have no clue what will feel good and Im guessing you're trying to figure that out. By all means have sexual experiences whenever you want to, including masturbating; if it’s not personally something you care about and you're perfectly happy without sexual experiences, you don't need to pay attention to it, regardless of whether other people think you have to:)

6: I'm hearing focus by Allie x, this person could be older than you. This may be a very masc coupling (or actual couple) with you and your person and I mean that in terms of gender expression/identity. Age is really emphasized, maybe you find them hotter because they're older (also please pleeasse remember age is NOT just a number, the concept of maturity exists, science and common sense easily prove it) Very chill experience, for some of you, you may think its a bit lackluster. This will happen on a bed or somewhere private for most people. You guys may argue over what to do to each other,  oddly enough. They feel much more sure of themselves than you when it comes to s3x but you might just disagree on some things.  Like for example,  you might want to go all out (something like full on penetration) but they just want to give you a handjob and have you cum a few times then stop. They might not even let you touch them, not bc they doubt you or don't like you, but they have a weird mindset that your first time needs to be about getting pleased and feeling more confidant with your partner so they're only focusing on you. Its honestly kind of cute, they feel stubborn in that they want to do "the right thing". I like this (sexual) partner of yours.