#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello

[icewindandboringhorror]

misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol

[frenchfrywrites]

Under Your Skin

MINORS DNI

Warnings: Top dom trans man reader, sub bottom Yandere/obsessive Cater Diamond, emetophilia, Cater's signature spell, spit, tummy bulge, super under negotiated kink, everything is consensual and worked out in the end

Cater practically lives under your skin these days.

It’s not like you mind him wanting to hold hands between and during class, or his frequent kisses, or the way he hugs and clings to your body, or how he will use his signature spell to make sure he’s always around when you’re available, nor do you mind the way he favors sitting on your lap when you hang out together. If you did mind, you’d say something. 

Thinking back on it, you can’t remember if he was this touchy before your relationship started, or if it increased with your status as a couple.

Whenever or however it started, his physical affection shows no signs of stopping. Which is good, because you don’t think he has to change. Though Trey and Riddle have checked in, asking if he’s being too much, it’s not like they’re his boyfriend. You are, and you like him like this. It may not seem like it at times to outsiders, but you go beyond with simply accepting Cater’s physical affections. You encourage it.

Like today, when you retire to your dorm with him, you’re the one who pulls Cater into your lap. He doesn’t even have to ask. 

“I missed you soo much today!!” he cries as he finishes making himself comfortable, doing the honor of bringing your hands around his waist. You’re not sure how that’s possible. The two of you only parted during club activities. 

Regardless, Cater smiles at you like you’ve blessed him simply by being here, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. You return his smile, expecting the kiss. Cater, being Cater, pulls out his phone, snapping a quick pic of the two of you. You squint at the flash and he giggles at the photo. 

"You look so silly LOL," he goes about editing blingees and stickers all over as you watch him, your thumbs drawing random shapes against his skin while you do. Cater’s taken so many pictures of you, and the two of you together, that you wonder how he has storage on his phone for more. 

“I haven’t seen you post on Magicam in a while babe,” he says after a bit. He makes it sound like he doesn’t mind, but you can tell he’s got more to say as soon as he says it. 

You shrug, nothing that exciting has happened within the last couple of days, and you certainly don’t feel the need to post as much as your boyfriend does. 

“It’s just,” he twirls his hair around his fingers, applying the finishing touches to the post before plopping his phone down on the bed next to you. He wraps his arms around your neck, making a serious face, “be real with me hun, you totes don’t have a side account that I’m not following, right?” you can’t help but laugh at that, and Cater predictably pouts.

“Sorry,” you pause, still trying to figure out how he got to that conclusion, “no, Cater, I just haven’t seen anything worth posting recently,” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth. Cater gasps loudly, smacking your chest lightly.

“Fuck you! I’m literally right here,” luckily you can tell that’s a playful “fuck you,” and he’s not genuinely upset. You smile, kissing him as an apology anyways.

“You’re right,” his smile melts back onto his face, “you are worth posting every day, but,” you squeeze his sides affectionately, “what if I want to keep you to myself?” A blush erupts over Cater’s face. 

“C’mon, babe, you’re too sweet,” he giggles, flipping his hair behind his shoulder.

“Thought you didn’t like sweets CayCay,” you tease.

“Mmm it’s fine when it’s you,” to prove his point, he leans in to kiss you. Quickly, he deepens it, his arms wrapping tighter around you as he presses his body closer to yours. 

“I wanna” he pulls back slightly to speak against your lips, “I wanna keep you to myself too, and like, be with you always and forever,” he stares into your eyes, his pupils blown wide, looking at you like he’s going to find some way to fuze your bodies together so you can truly never separate. 

Cater goes in for another kiss. You feel his hands move down from where they were wrapped around your neck to fumble with the hem of his shirt. Again he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your lips, making puppy eyes at you while slowly pulling on it, waiting for your permission to pull it off. “Go ahead,” you murmur, watching him intently. You can feel a heat spread as you watch more and more of his skin be revealed with each moment.

Cater flings the shirt elsewhere, and takes your hands in his, guiding them along his stomach and torso, up to his chest. You take the hint, rubbing your fingers over his nipples, then pinching them. He gasps, arching into your touch.

“You’re so needy today,” you murmur, almost in awe. That statement is a bit off though, you suppose, due to the fact that Cater is always needy.

Instead of offering an excuse or explanation, he takes a hold of your face, pulling you into more kisses as you play with his chest. It doesn’t take long until he’s grinding himself against you. You can feel he’s hard already and you try not to smile over how cute he is getting so excited over just this. Cater whines and gasps as one of your hands finds its way to his bulge. 

“More, more,” he groans against your lips, getting spit and drool all over your mouth. You let out a pleased hum, pulling away so you can see how desperate he looks.

“What’s got you so worked up?” you ask, pinching his nipple when he tries to grind into your hand.

Cater whines, “I dunno,” he licks his lips, “dunno, just gotta have you inside me, please,” he bats his lashes at you. You pretend to think about it, stroking him over his pants as you do. Cater is practically panting as he awaits your answer, doing his best to keep his hips still. “Please, please, fuck me, please,” he whimpers softly, looking like he might cry if you deny him.

“Alright sweetheart lay down,” Cater practically flings himself off your lap and onto the bed at your directions. You move to get the things you’ll need but his hand around your wrist stops you. 

“Split card,” he mumbles his signature spell as he tugs you onto the bed with him. Another Cater materializes, this one dressed in Cater’s lab uniform. “Can you get the lube and the strap for us bestie?” he says to Cater B, who salutes and winks,

“You got it boss,” he responds before rushing around your dorm. 

The original Cater tugs at your clothes, making it clear that he wants to see more of you.

The two of you finish fully undressing each other by the time Cater B returns. He tosses the lube to the original Cater and gently hands you your strap and harness, his hands lingering on yours as he does. 

“Okay you can leave now,” Original Cater waves him off, 

“Waaaah! You mean I can’t join?” Cater B pouts, taking in the scene before him. Original Cater shakes his head, 

“Not this time babe! I want him all to myself,” Cater B nods in understanding, but before he leaves he presses a quick kiss to your lips. No part of him is withholding with physical affection. 

You turn your attention to Cater, who is now on his back with his legs spread to show off how aroused he is for you. Seeing him like this, you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly hot and bothered all over. 

Setting the strap to the side for a moment, you make yourself comfortable between his legs. Cater reaches out to you, again wraps his arms around your neck to keep you as close as possible. You run your hands along his thighs, savoring the way his breath hitches when you do. 

“I can’t wait much longer, please, I’ll literally die if you’re not inside me soon,” he’s obviously being dramatic, but he sure sounds convincing. Maybe he truly believes it.

“Okay, calm down,” you coo, grabbing the lube and silently thanking Cater B, “I still have to stretch you.” You coat your fingers quickly, and press them against his hole. The feeling of your fingers against his entrance makes Cater’s cock twitch. With a smile you slowly press in one- he moans, melting into the bedding- and wiggle it around until he’s stretched enough for another.

“Yes, god yes,” he babbles, opening up for your fingers. You scissor him open and finger fuck him, looking to see which strap Cater B chose to determine how long you need to focus on prepping him.

Cater starts to beg for your strap as soon as you press your third finger into him. 

“Want you to fuck me- need it, please, fill me up, ah, please,” his voice cracks as he jerks his hips back against you. Taking pity on him you lean down and kiss his neck lovingly, stretching your fingers as much as you can before slowly pulling them out.

You regret not putting on the strap earlier, because Cater whines and paws at you while you struggle yourself into it. Finally you have it on securely, and after hastily lubing it up you return to your previous position. 

Cater looks down and watches with glee as you position the head of your strap against his hole. The tip pops in easily, and you waste no time with sheathing yourself inside of him.

Cater clings to you, his legs wrapping around your waist, pulling you deeper as he gasps and moans. When you bottom out you give him time to adjust, rubbing his hips gently. His chest heaves as he stares up at you, unblinking and unwavering.

"There we go baby, taking me so well," you praise softly, rubbing at his stomach where a small bulge has formed from the size of your strap.

After a moment that feels like hours, he breaks eye contact, his gaze flicking downwards as he shifts his hips back. You take that as cue to start moving, slowly thrusting into him.

Cater knocks his head back against the pillows, letting out a choked moan of your name. You can feel his arms tightening around your neck, pulling you closer. You lean down to kiss him- though it’s barely a kiss with how messy it is- as you speed up. You're still rubbing at his stomach, feeling the bulge appear, disappear, and re-appear. He babbles into your mouth, unable to contain how good he feels as you pick up the pace. 

You pull away when you become breathless, instead focusing on fucking him good and deep. Cater pants, trying to catch his breath, drool shining his pretty lips and chin.

“Please let me- oh- taste you,” he begs once he finds his voice. He doesn’t wait for permission, grabbing the hand touching his stomach and stuffing your fingers into his mouth. He sucks and swallows around them like he’s sucking on your strap, but he’s never been too good at giving head. You know he’s got a bad gag reflex, but your brain is muddled with lust as you watch him drool and gurgle around your fingers.

It ends up being too much. You knew- in the back of your head you knew- it would be too much having your fingers down his throat while you’re fucking him so deep and hard.

It’s so sudden and quick you barely process what's happening when he yanks your hand from his mouth and leans over the side of the bed as best as he can, emptying his stomach.

“Sorry, sorry,” his eyes are frantic when he turns back to you, his voice hoarse. Upon seeing that you’re not reacting negatively he relaxes, smiling shyly, “my tummy, you’re so deep inside me,” he wipes some of his puke from his lips, “churning up my guts, and making me totally nauseous,” he says playfully. 

It should be gross, you should want to pull out and away to get him water, to clean him up, to coddle him now and get him off later. Instead, your loins feel on fire and your hips snap on their own accord. You return to fucking him, barely giving him the chance to catch his breath. Cater clenches to the sheets under him and lets out a string of moaned gibberish, looking at you with those wild green eyes, his red hair framing his face like a halo.

He cums untouched, barely seconds later, looking like it caught him off guard. His eyes roll back as he stills under you, and if the way that he tightens his legs around your waist is any clue, he’s clenching onto your strap like a vice. You fuck him through his orgasm, your lust and arousal over everything that’s just happened climaxing as you do. 

When the two of you catch your breath, reality hits. You stare, a bit like a deer in the headlights, down at him, and Cater looks so small under you. 

“Are you okay?” you ask softly- guiltily, because this is the first time you’ve asked- gently massaging his hips and torso. Cater opens and closes his mouth before laughing hysterically,

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he reaches a hand up to play with his sweat drenched hair, a nervous tick, “I just came harder than I have in… a long time,” he flushes, looking away, “and- and you’re not grossed out?” He sounds so small. It’s been a long time since he’s been so vulnerable with you.

“No,” you’re surprised you’re not, but it’s the truth. “I’m glad you’re okay,” you tell him, bringing your hand to his cheek lovingly. “Because it was kinda hot,” you confess quietly. You wouldn’t have admitted it if it weren’t just between the two of you.

You can see the way Cater falls back into his usual self, “yeah it totes was,” he agrees, biting his lip afterwards to hide his grin. “I wanna do it again TBH,” he admits, squirming a bit under you. You look over the side of the bed at the mess and grimace,

“Yeah, next time we’ll put a bucket or tarp down,” Cater laughs at that. He pokes you, 

“Bath time now, please?” he says, making grabby hands. You slowly pull out of him and strip off the harness before collecting him in your arms. Cater clings, and not because he’s scared of being dropped. 

You avoid the mess and deliver him into the tub connected to your room, kissing his cheek before turning on the water for him. You move to go deal with the bedroom, but for the second time Cater stops you by grabbing onto your arm. 

“Come in here with me,” he gives you his best puppy eyes, “pwetty pwease,” you huff out a laugh and join him. Even though you know you should be cleaning up the vomit.

It’ll take both bleach and magic to get it out by the time that you’re out of the bath. But that’s fine. You don’t care much when you’ve got Cater cuddling and clinging to you. You'd stay in here for hours if that's what he needs.

Cater may live under your skin, but you’re the one who welcomed him home.

[sheinthatfandom]

Title: my brothers keeper

Prompt: "I need advice" (time passes) "never mind I already did the stupid thing"

Rating: mature

Word count: 464

Pairing: Matt Jackson/Wheeler Yuta, Nick Jackson/luchasaurus

AN: Written for @wrestleprompts thankyou @icecream-and-gadreel for helping me come up with it and @sarahcakes613 for telling me not to throw it out after it was done lol

Matty 🤼‍♂️🏆🥇🐮💆🏻‍♀️

11:25pm

"I need advice"

1:59am

"never mind I already did the stupid thing"

Nick groaned seeing the missed texts from his older brother and tag team partner. Tonight was going to be a night of many regrets, and the first one was going to the casino with Brandon and missing the opportunity to stop Matt from doing something foolish.

“I’m afraid to ask”

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“Is that…”

“No! Matty no!!”

“Matty YES!”

There in 5k on his wide screen phone was a crystal clear photo of the Blackpool combat clubs young lion Wheeler Yuta. Yuta was in what looked to be Matt’s hotel room, the white blanket thrown haphazardly over him as he slept on his back. His neck and shoulders bright with purple marks Nick knew if he zoomed in would have teeth indentations in the middle.

Kenny was going to be pissed, Don would gleefully used this as more fodder to light their friendship up and Adam…actually Adam probably wouldn’t care since he and Mox had their own thing going on that didn’t look like pure hate, it was all together confusing, but Nick still didn’t want to be put in the middle of this. Because even though his side would be mad and rightfully so they’ll still work together the BCC on the other hand were… all around strange and did not behave in any way that the brothers could predict. Was this part of their plan? Were they going to jump Matty in his room? Was Wheeler trying to romance his brother into turning on them? Actually no that was stupid and honestly Matt got around enough everyone should know being good in bed wasn’t enough to gain Matt’s loyalty. But still what the hell Matt!

“Are you effing kidding me!”

“I'm going to effing murder you!”

“That's it find another tag team partner!”

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“awww that's funny.”

“you're a funny guy”

“Anyway, time for round 2!! 😇🥰😘🤯”

“Damnit Matt!” Frustrated, he slammed his phone down on the bureau.

“Hey babe, what’s wrong?”

Nick turned to his bed seeing he had woken up his own roommate. “Sorry Lucha, Matt just… thinking with his dick again.”

Luchasaurus grinned and gave Nick a look that sent an excited shiver down his spine. “Oh yeah that’s just a Matt thing, no way does anyone else in the Jackson clan have that problem.”

“You know I could always kick you out.” They both knew that threat was empty.

“Hmm you could, though I would hope you’d at least fix this before you threw me out.” The Dino moved the blanket showing off his impressive length, hard and slightly curved.

“Well… I did wake you up. It’s really the least I can do.”

[purplesurveys]

1783

How long has it been since you moved out of the house you grew up in?    I haven't moved out.

What color shirt are you wearing?    It's light purple.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating?    I think it's been a while since I have a terrible habit of keeping leftovers and then never coming back for them ever again... BUT OH I think it was a double cheeseburger from McDonald's? sometime earlier this week. I still have a handful of other paper bags in the fridge that I need to get to soon.

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate?   I had Aice's coffee popsicle when we went to Tanay over the weekend which I was super stoked about since it's my favoriteeeeeeeeeee and I haven't had the chance to have it since 2021 ehehehe. I must have finished it in 5 minutes and chewed my way through the ice cream for the most part lol.

Do you regret anything you've done in the last 24 hours, and if so, what?    Not charging my laptop last night because I had to painstakingly migrate from one outlet to another today, given that I was out all day for work.

What is your favorite type of soup? 🍜    Miso soup, mushroom soup, and this last one is more stew than soup but I love kimchi jjigae.

When was the last time you saw a beautiful sunset? 🌅    It's honestly been ages. I haven't had the time to pause and simply watch a sunset happen and silently soak in those few minutes in a while. The last time may have been all the way back in June when my friends and I had dinner on a tiny cruise boat in Bangkok.

What is your favorite song at the moment?    Cult of Personality by Living Colour for reasons that anyone who even slightly follows wrestling would know, haha.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest?    I'm not that deep into Pinterest to have boards. I only ever use it for quick searches when I need certain pegs for work Powerpoints.

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more?    I'm on the Reels tab on Instagram more frequently than I would like to admit, lol. I'm connected to more people on Facebook but it's also still more boring, so when I'm on there I typically just look at the first 10, 15 posts on my feed to see what people are talking about then already close the app.

What color is your favorite sweater?    I don't have a favorite sweater.

What are three things people would never guess about you just by looking at the photos you post on social media?    I don't talk to my brother; I don't know how to ride a bicycle; I was deep into the British YouTuber invasion of the early-mid 2010s.

What is one thing you have too much of?    Right now that would be boxes of my fave coconut-scented reed diffuser but that's only because that's what I got my workmates this Christmas and I have yet to wrap them and give them out, haha.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? It must've been months or years now; raspberry is definitely not something I encounter a lot.

What are three of your favorite scents?    Vanilla, anything that's being baked, and apparently coconut.

What was the last flavor of tea you drank? ☕️    Lemon.

When was the last time you wore your hair in a fishtail braid?    Almost exactly a year ago.

What is one annoying thing your computer does?    I'm so attached to this laptop and it's my baby that I don't even have the heart to say anything bad about it lol. It's extremely slow and the 10 hour battery life has turned into 1 hour in the last six years and it barely has any storage left and has stopped becoming eligible for updates, but IT'S MY BABY DAMMIT.

What type of fruit do you eat the most?    I avoid fruits.

How often do you go out to eat?    Once or twice a month, I would say.

What would your dream wedding dress look like? 👰‍♀️    I'm too lazy to describe anything in detail as it is 10:30 PM and I'm too tired from work lololol but I would love anything that'd channel Audrey Hepburn. Something that'd be able to accentuate the waist with verrrrrrry subtle sleeves and a quiet yet elegant train that doesn't try to steal attention.

Which fall flavor do you prefer: pumpkin spice or apple cinnamon?    Pumpkin spice. Got to try the Starbucks drink when they were randomly giving out pumpkin spice free samples and I came out of that store a changed and converted woman.

What is the most annoying thing about your life right now?    All other PR/ad agencies are going on shutdown by the end of this week and my fuckin workplace isn't starting ours until next Friday.

Which holiday treat do you like better: candy corn or conversation hearts? Candy corn I guess, but I'm not a big candy person to begin with so eh.

What is your favorite apple-flavored treat?    Chewy candies, like Mentos.

What are you counting down the days to right now, if anything?    Our office shutdown. I'm so excited for it that I've started to stop exerting 100% effort at work lol.

What was the last book you read about?    It's an autobiography.

Have you been daydreaming a lot lately about a scenario you wish would happen?  I've been dreaming about it a lot, frustratingly enough.

What are three of your favorite things about camping? ⛺️    I've never gone camping before.

If you could choose what month to be born in, what month would you have chosen as your birth month, and why?    My birth month has never really been an issue to me and I wouldn't change it even if I could.

...and what is your actual birth month?    April.

What are three of your favorite things to do on a rainy day? 🌧️    If I had it my way I'd turn on the aircon, make my room as dark as possible, and take a long nap.

Would you rather eat strawberries 🍓 or watermelon 🍉?    Neither.

Do you prefer smoothies or milkshakes? 🍹    Milkshakes.

Do you prefer hamburgers 🍔 or hot dogs 🌭?    Burgers.

When was the last time you felt nauseous?    I had the most awful motion sickness last Monday.

What was the last thing you ate that made you feel nauseous?    The bagnet and bone marrow dish I had two weeks ago didn't necessarily make me feel nauseous but it did give me awful heartburn.

Do you enjoy going to your local county fair?    We don't have one in my city.

How far away do you live from the place where you were born?    I'd say it's a 1.5-2 hr car ride.

Do you prefer zebra print or cheetah print?  Cheetah.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

tw grief tw loss

Maybe I have never really said goodbye to you. Maybe the idea of really having to do that, of really having to let you go, scared me too much. Or maybe I did, despite I never allowed myself to feel it was so. I always searched for you in a shadow, in a shape, in a feeling, in a gesture, in a thought... in a dream too. And sometimes I had found you there, smiling back at me. Even in that dream in which you were more than 100 years old, lol. You, with that kind, pure and gentle heart... life could have never let you live for so long.

I have to thank you. You taught me so much, about love, about me, about others, about life, about living with no regrets, day by day, following your heart. About being cared for. About being loved. And you did all this just by being you. Fully yourself. Funny, curious, extroverted, excited, joyous, impulsive, hyper and hyped about things, welcoming, nice, weird, but also so tender, silently present, cautious, wild, protective, strong. You were so many different souls all in one. The whole package, one would say. All I have ever needed. Especially in a moment in which I needed support and a way out, in which I needed to grow, to feel real love, to learn how to care and to take care. You were there. A look in your eyes, and all the problems were just memories. You were my safe place, and I like to think I was yours too, somehow. You know, I probably was slightly obsessed with you... a bit of a toxic love? Who knows... but sometimes when you learn unconditional love and how strong it may be, it's hard to stay away from it even for just few seconds. You crave more and more. You crave its stability, its warmth, its safe embrace. You need to learn how to deal with it and its power, to not get burned or annihilated. You need to be (or grow) ready for it.

And when it leaves, so suddenly, when it goes away, you feel lost. You feel guilty, you feel powerless. So powerless that it kills you. You let the harsh part of life hit you all at once in your face, and let it all crash you down. You see no point in anything anymore, in experiencing happines or any other positive emotion... "it will end, sooner or later". That's what your mind keeps telling you. Touching, feeling warmth in another one, feels so impossible because you only want the warmth that you know and miss so deeply. The one that was "yours". And if you're not aware, if you don't pay attention, if you don't let this pain get out of you, if you don't ask for help or talk about it, it will start bringing you down and down and down... And once you're that far down, if you haven't taken care of your energy, it's hard to get back up. To do it for real. With your whole self.

I did it wrong, ofc. I didn't know what to do. I only felt empty and alone. I missed hearing your breath even. I isolated myself and got even more isolated as well. Instead of trying to help me, people let me alone. Not just cause I always acted independent or pretended I was fine. People never want to see others cry, it's triggering, "it's bad". But crying is only our own way to purify ourselves. And there's nothing wrong or bad in that. At all. But they just cannot bear with it, so they either pretend to not see you or they ask you to stop. To be strong. When the real strong ones, need to cry their pain out first.

I have always solved stuff alone, but sometimes, we need external help sources, when it's too hard to find support from the inside. I started doing what I could. I started writing, I started focusing on studies, I started doing other things among which taking photos (something I had left aside in my life until then, and I will never know why... but I'm thankful I came back "home"). I still pretended it was okay, it was life, I was fine. But the pain, the void, was fixed inside of me. Rotting, waiting for my weakest moments to take the best of me and ingest me once more, to leave me breatheless and useless. But photography was there, together with music, trying to suggest me how to heal, how to look at things from a different perspective, how to get back up. How to focus on what has been good, on what I learned, on what you gave me... and not on what I lost. You gave me parts of you that will always stay with me, as I gave you parts of me that will probably always be yours and I'll never have back. But that's part of some relationships, those that are created to help you grow the most. Those you enjoy the most too. Those that help you change for good, even after they're ended. I will always miss you probably and how I felt/who I was when I was with you, but this doesn't mean I have to live only partially now. That's not what you taught me. You taught me to live fully, to be me. Entirely. To always be me. And so, I'm trying to find myself again. Exactly that specific myself.

Despite this search is still on, I can say that I am who I am today also thanks to you. Also thanks to how you behaved with me. Also thanks to how I learned to behave with you, and how I keep trying to learn more everyday by being curious and hyped as you were (at least on my best days). You didn't change only me, you kinda changed for good all the people you had gotten in touch with. And if this is not magic, I don't know what it is! I just hope I will make you proud one day. Even if probably you were already proud of me, and happy about me. You really never cared much about results, you only cared about hearts and souls. And that's something I learned from you too. And what I want to keep doing in my life.

I hope you're doing good wherever you are now, and whatever you're doing. I'm sure you're taking good care of and teaching important life lessons to someone else. You'll do an amazing work, that's out of question. And maybe one day we'll meet again, somehow. I hope so. Thank you. Bye.

[pandemellia]

Fuck Hope

This is basically me being mad at myself for still having some feelings for my ex, missing him, and deep down still hoping that he'd regret breaking up with me. I hate how even after almost a year when he's clearly happy with someone else, I still wake up every day wishing things were back to what they were before. Hope really is a double-edged sword.

As established before, Eufrene (the one in yellow) symbolizes my hope and generally optimistic side More about her here: www.deviantart.com/pandemellia…

And Antera (the one showing Eufrene the middle fingers XD) symbolizes my anger, heartbreak, and sadness.

More about Antera here: www.deviantart.com/pandemellia…

Because of my contradicting emotions about how I feel about my ex, they don't get along well right now. XD Eufrene miraculously still tries to see the good in him and desperately wishes he'd come back. She's the part of me that romanticizes the good times I had with him and still clings to the illusion he created of being a kind-hearted person. However, Antera knows that holding on to hope is only causing her (me) to feel more heartbreak. Also, Antera's that part of me that'll seemingly forever hold resentment and anger for my ex cheating on me and leaving me for someone else. Her ability to hold a grudge is no joke.

Think about this dynamic like the characters in Inside Out.

God, this sounds so cringe when I write it out, but it just makes perfect sense in my head!

I tried making this kinda funny by basing this off that meme with someone giving the middle finger to a crying cat, but I don't know that joke lands lol. It was hilarious in my mind until I drew it.

Here's the image: knowyourmeme.com/photos/138454…

As for the process of creating this, this drawing was me experimenting with trying a different style again. I tried using a charcoal brush for lineart/shading in Photoshop instead of the usual round hard pressure brush I use and drew the lineart with slightly thicker lines this time. I was going for this rugged, dark look, but it just ended up looking wrong to me. Lowering the lineart's opacity saved it a bit. This is disappointing because I see other artists draw with even thicker lineart and it looks good when they do it XD 

Right now, I don't know if I should keep using textured brushes, or go back to my smooth lines. I don't think using a charcoal brush worked as well in this image because of the thicker lines, but it did work for my Dr. Two-Brains drawing.

Probably because the lineart was thin. On the other hand, drawing and shading with the hard-pressure brush is just so satisfying, but I feel like I could achieve a darker art style if I use textured brushes.

Speaking of brushes, I used these embroidery brushes (by NadinePau-stock) for Antera's sheer sleeves to make them look like lace. You can barely see it because she's mostly in the dark foreground, but I still think it was a nice touch. c:

Drawing this was also a challenge too. It's rare that I draw multiple characters where not only do I have to draw them from different angles, but also in different spaces relative to each other. I really tried my best with using references and all, so I hope I got the perspective right.

Another challenge was trying to shade in different textures. I used the same brush for everything, but I redesigned Eufrene a bit. She's one of those baby dolls that have a plastic/rubber head, and a plush body, (like this one: www.ebay.com/itm/233705053614) which is why her neck looks weird. XD But hey, that's what the references on this type of doll showed me.

So I started off cell-shading her face and used soft shading on the rest of her body, but halfway through rendering, the filters, and other shadow layers I added to the characters....overshadowed that.

I know she looks cuter when I first drew her, but I wanted her design to reflect my deteriorating mental health, so I tried to make her look weirder and creepier looking. Especially with her face, I wanted to exaggerate that chubby face that these baby dolls have. I'd like to think that her first image portrays her (me) in a slightly better mental state (not like I was better at the time of that drawing lol) and that my OCs start to look better as I heal.

And my OCs look weird and cursed as fuck in general because I want to go out of my comfort zone, and create a horror/ gloomy-like art style.

I have more OCs, and I'm gonna try to make them look just as cursed as these two XD.

And then there's the usual challenge of drawing different emotions other than having characters smile all of the time. I think I did okay this time.

Overall, I'm on a roll with this because it hasn't even been a week since I drew Dr. Two-Brains, yet I still finished this. That is extremely rare, and I really hope my energy doesn't run out. I think this was mostly because I drew this during my days off from work, but I actually did something instead of just rotting in bed and scrolling through social media all day. I still feel depressed and heartbroken, but drawing things like this helps me out a little. Every time I finish a drawing; I feel so accomplished like I'm getting my shit together X'D

Unfortunately, I have to do a lot more than just drawing if I actually wanna get my shit together, but it's a start.

[pies-writes-and-more]

Haikyuu boys and wearing their clothes

Characters: Asahi Azumane, Kageyama Tobio, Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Kotaro, Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a gender-neutral reader :) (let me know if I missed a pronoun change or made something too femme! I very much so did not proof read this lol)

Warnings: Probably some swearing

A/N: This might be an overdone topic but I love it so much soooooo no regrets :) Let me know if you’d like more!

Asahi literally carries a picture of you in his phone case because he loves you in his clothes so much. He also has a pic of you wearing his hoodie as his wallpaper, and another printed pic of you framed in his room. I don’t care what size you are, his sweaters still manage to feel gigantic on you. It is like a hug FOREVER. 

He literally could not care less that his closet is slowly growing smaller because it means that he gets to see you in his clothes. Eventually, you’ll carry them all back to him in a bag so that he can make them smell like him again. But this is his favourite part, because now his favourite items smell like you. 

Daydreaming in class? Thinking of you wearing the sweater he has on. 

Gets smacked by a volleyball during practice? It’s cause the smell of you is still on his jersey. 

This man trips over his own two feet cause he’s trying to find you in the halls and you wave at him wearing his volleyball jacket ”So that’s where that went. I thought I forgot it somewhere...”

The two of you would trade sweaters before he went on any overnight trips and you’d send him snapchats of you cuddling with the sweater over a pillow or just you snuggled in bed with it on. He’d screenshot all of them, regardless of if you thought you looked good. 

He has an album of you. He will never delete them because they’re all precious.

His teammates have accidentally caught him looking through it before a game because it really de-stressed him if you weren’t able to attend the game in person (though you made it to most of them). Tanaka would burst into tears over not being able to have a significant other with cute photos of and would make Asahi promise to always treat you right. And Asahi would just stare at your photos with his cute little smile and obviously promise because his least favourite thing in the world is seeing you sad.

(Look at how cute he is omg)

Kageyama is confused when you ask to wear his sweater. You probably did it at a time that made some sort of sense. Like it was late at night and you were studying in the gym while Hinata and him were practicing. 

The cool breeze into the gym made you shiver a little and you noticed that his sweater was just sitting there on the ground so when he came over to grab some water you just looked up at him with your signature puppy eyes. “Can I wear it?”

“Why?”

“Oi, stupid head. They’re probably cold!” 

It would probably annoy him so much that Hinata figured it out before him. He’d kneel down and help you put it on, pulling it over your head and giving you a little smile cause you looked so damn cute in his sweater. 

But now that you’ve started wearing his things, he’s still very confused as to why you ask for them. “Should we go shopping?” He’d ask you randomly on a weekend when there was no volleyball practice. And you’d just stare at him because why would Kageyama want to stand somewhere that wasn’t a gym. “Aren’t you running out of clothes to wear or something?”

It would take a while and some conversations before you realized he was asking cause you had like 3 hoodies, a t-shirt, and some track pants in your room that were very much so his. “I just like having a piece of you with me,” you’d explain. He would have to think it over but he was very happy with this idea.

There’s only one shirt you’re not allowed to take and it’s this cute little graphic tee you got him for his birthday that has a nice drawing of a milk carton on it. He loves it. He will kill anyone that laughs at it. And no, you cannot wear it because if you’re wearing, what is he supposed to wear.

Sugawara and you regularly switch clothes because this man gives no fucks for your gender roles thank you very much. He shows up to practice one day wearing a dark pinkish basic, or some floral print shirt that you had in your closet and the boys are like “um Suga what are you wearing?”

And he���s probably just like “it’s call fashion, look it up.” (Like Suga sweetie, it’s just a shirt lol)

If you own any tighter pants like yoga pants or leggings? Suga has worn them because his legs and ass look great in them and he will strut around fully confident with that knowledge.

Honestly, he probably steals your sweaters more than you realize. You guys are baking at his house one day and you’ve made a mESS of your clothes and he’s just like oh it’s okay I’ll get you some new clothes.

And you’re expecting this cute little pj set that he has that might fit you or some comfy clothes that he’s lending you. No. He legitimately has some of your clothes and gives them to you and you’re just like.... “Suga I’ve been looking for this shirt for weeks. I even asked you about it.”

And he is suddenly deaf, little shithead.

He likes you in any clothes but they have to be his comfy clothes or he will set that shit on fire. Ennoshita once offered you his gloves because it was fricken cold out and you forgot yours at home and Suga literally threw him across the road and was like “hello angel I have gloves for you”.

You’re just like “um... Ennoshita are you okay?” Boy probably has a concussion and Suga’s just like “who’s Ennoshita?”

Tsukishima will kill you if he finds you raiding his closet. Like if he walks into his room when you two are supposed to be studying and you’re just casually picking out a sweater, he will throw you on the bed and tickle you until you call for mercy.

Will he offer his clothes to you if you’re in need of something? Most of the time, yes. But you have to ask. No stealing allowed in this household.

Except one night you stayed over and totally forgot a night shirt. Tsukishima is already like half asleep because he woke up way too early for practice that morning, so you just sneak into his drawers and pull out the first shirt you can. You can’t even see what it has on it cause it’s fucking dark. Then you crawl into bed with him, figuring you’ll accept your punishment for stealing tomorrow.

And when he wakes up, you best believe he was annoyed. First off, who plans to stay over and doesn’t bring a shirt? Stupid, can’t you remember anything? But then he realizes, you grabbed this cute little dino graphic shirt and his face is RED. Pasty boi so bright, he might as well be Hinata’s hair. And he’s desperately trying to get out of the bed and run to the bathroom before you wake up because holy fuck you’re PRECIOUS?

But all of his squirming just wakes you up and you see him all flustered, and just assume he’s mad and you’re like I’m so sorry I just didn’t have anything else and was stupid and forgot. And he just hits you (lovingly) on the head, mutters some sort of insult, and moves on.

From then on, that is your designated shirt. It’s a comfort item almost. He’ll only really wear it when he has to be away from town overnight, in which case he’ll wear it as a reminder of you (he won’t admit to it but you tried to take the shirt as a keepsake for while he was gone and he only had a heart attack. Tsukishima Kei does not believe in lucky charms. But he has yet to lose a game when he wears that shirt the night before).

Bokuto has been WAITING for you to wear something of his, but you haven’t yet. And it’s been stressful. He keeps trying to find a good excuse to see you in his clothes but you’re always too well-prepared.

“It’s kinda chilly out, Y/N, want my sweater??”

“I brought one, don’t worry!”

-.- *cue owl boi pouts*

And he doesn’t want you to wear something of his just because he asked. He wants to you want to wear his things. So he just waits. And pouts. And waits some more.

The day finally came when he was least expecting it. The gym that his game was in was freezing and you couldn’t imagine why. Most of the gyms they had played before in were pretty standard temperature but you were going to die if you stayed in the clothes you came in.

You had snuck onto the court while the boys were stretching, Akaashi smacking Bokuto in the head and interrupting his hype session to help him notice you.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sweater with you, would you? It’s freezing!”

His eyes would widen. The day has finally arrived. He would finally get to see you in his clothes!!!!

But of course he has no sweater because he had not planned on needing one. Cue more sulking. Of course Akaashi comes over and offers his sweater and Bokuto almost bites his hand off.

“Well offer her your jacket then, idiot.” Akaashi just needs this man to hold off pouting till later. 

Bokuto’s jacket just looked so perfect on you and it was a nice way to keep warm. You cheered him on during the games and after some jaw-dropping move of his, he would turn to your direction and send you a kiss. Embarrassing? A little. But he was such a cutie, how could you deny his air kiss?

Wearing his clothes became more common after that and he will literally bring you his whole closet so you can pick your favourites.

Ushijima didn’t even wait for you to ask to give you his clothes. He probably folded up his hoodie or jacket for you before a game and placed it awkwardly on your lap or in your arms and you’re just like um... do you want me to put this away for you or?

“Would you wear it for me?” How can you say no??? His cheeks are just slightly going red and he’s avoiding your eyes a bit so of course you have to wear it.

Ushijima thinks you look so nice in his clothes and he really likes how happy you look when he asks you to wear something, so he keeps doing it. That and he knows that sometimes people ask you out during his matches and he likes knowing that they’ll recognize his school colours or his jersey number and at that moment, he will send a calculated glare in their direction. And they will run for the hills, never to bother you again :)

I feel like he’s accidentally shrunk his clothes in the wash before and he just keeps them in a small pile in his room so that you can wear them when you come over. He also buys you proper house slippers that you can wear around his home because he wants you to be as comfy as possible.

Sometimes when you guys are just standing around waiting for a game to start, or if you’re all done eating lunch, he’ll unzip his track jacket and open it up so you can stand there and hug him, and he’ll hug you back with his hands in the pockets so it’s like you’re in the jacket with him (Tendo has definitely zipped it up before and trapped you guys in an awkward hug like stance and he will continue to do this because he thinks it’s hilarious. Has definitely snapped pictures of it and sent it to Ushijima. Ushijima saved it because it was kinda cute).

[otakusheep15]

Tittfucking - Diavolo (Kinktober day 21)

Today’s fic is purely crack. This is not meant to be taken seriously in the slightest, it’s just made for laughs. It’s literally an amab reader fucking Dia’s massive tits lol. And, no, Dia is not genderswapped, I assure you. 

CW: bottom (?) Diavolo, top MC, amab MC, tittfucking, pure crack

Everyone knows that Diavolo, future Devildom king, has amazing tits. Not a single day goes by without someone mentioning it on Devilgram somewhere or spamming photos of zoomed in picture of his chest in the R.A.D. newsfeed somewhere. Lucifer and Barbatos were never happy with this sort of behavior, but Diavolo loves it. After all, he is an attention seeker, so it only makes sense that he’d live for this kind of thing. 

He’s also very grateful when he realizes just how much you, his precious human, loves his chest just as much as everyone else. Maybe even more so. Diavolo has a fun time teasing you about it, often pulling you into his chest to hug you. Obviously, you know exactly what he’s doing, but there isn’t much you can do back. You can’t tease him back because he would love it if you did, and any other plans of revenge would most likely be stopped by Barbs or Luci. 

And, now, he’s decided to step his teasing up. You two tend to find yourselves hidden away in random closets or empty rooms since Diav never has much time to get away from his duties. However, today was different. Today, he finally had a break to fully enjoy you. Which, of course, came with teasing. He has you on his bed, sitting on his lap, gripping your hips, mouth pressed harshly against yours. Your hands are firmly gripping his shoulders as your hips grind down into his own. 

Then, he releases you from the kiss. You’re about to complain until you feel his breath ghost the shell of your ear. Apparently, he decided to exploit your greatest weakness, his chest. According to what he’s just whispered, he wants you to fuck his tits. Now, you’ve seen enough porn to know what he’s referring to, but it’s still a shocking thing to hear from him. Not that you’re opposed to the idea at all. 

While you’re distracted, he lifts you off of his lap so that he can lie down. He also takes the time to remove his shirt, giving you a full view of his upper body. Diavolo looked absolutely gorgeous, but you knew that already. Without even thinking about it, you move your hands to his pecs, and you squish them gently. They feel nice and soft underneath your hands, and you wonder just how they’d feel with your cock between them. 

It’s not like you need much longer to find out because Diavolo is already reaching down to your crotch to pull your cock free from your pants. You hadn’t even realised just how hard you were until his hand was on you. Deciding that you didn’t feel like waiting anymore, you move his hands out of the way and more your body up his own. You place your cock in the space between his pecs, and that small sensation alone already feels amazing. 

You are also slightly embarrassed, but the horny wins this round, and you push any embarrassment aside for now. Diavolo grabs your hips to help you balance on his chest, and you starts to move. The drag of your cock between his chest feels incredible, and you regret not doing this with him sooner. He also seems to be having the time of his life underneath you, loving the way your face contorts into one of pleasure at every movement. His hands start guiding you into a faster pace, and you’re too out of it to argue. 

In all honesty, you did not expect your orgasm to hit you as fast as it does. It happens without warning, catching both you and Dia by surprise. Your embarrassment comes back twice as hard as before, and all Dia can do right now is laugh. Now his chest is covered in cum, and you’re a blushing mess. 

He pulls you off of him only to lay you down next to him and cuddle into you. You kind of wish he would’ve cleaned up a bit first, but you’re too tired to ask. Instead, you push your face between his tits, and you fall asleep being smothered by both his massive love and his massive chest. 

This is easily the greatest story I have ever written /hj

[elijahs-wife]

congrats on 700! your sleepover sounds fun so i thought i'd join and request a lil blurb from the prompt list! can i get one for #14 (“am I your lock screen?” “you weren’t supposed to see that.”) with either loki or scott lang??? :)

@tripleyeeet thank you for participating!!💞 this is the first time i’ve EVER written for loki (its,,, fucking hard lmao) and i spent like 3 days writing and re-writing this so,,, this is the best you’re getting lol

pairing: loki x female! avenger reader

warnings: um. nothing except some second hand embarassment maybe

wc: almost 900

You hate to admit it, but you’ve got a major dependency on coffee. Its the only way that early mornings could be bearable to you—you’re barely human before the caffeine, your movements slow and your patience for other people threadbare. Today is no different. When you finally get to the kitchen after navigating the stairs in your sleep-deprived state, you’re surprised to see Loki there as well, but you don’t have the energy to comment, not yet. You have priorities. Setting your phone down on the kitchen island, somewhat close to Loki, you go to finally pour yourself a cup.

The kitchen is quiet at this time, with all of your colleagues already off in the other areas of the tower, occupied with their busy schedules, until Loki breaks the silence. “It would appear that someone is sending you a message. Messages,” he corrects himself as your phone buzzes on the counter at least another three times.

“Oh. Could you check who it is?” you ask him, nonchalantly stirring creamer and sugar into your coffee until the realization of what you just allowed to happen hits you, oh fuck oh fuck, no— but it’s too late and suddenly you’re very, very much awake. “It’s from ‘Sammy’,” he reads out the contact name, completely deadpan as usual, until he notices. Shit. His signature smirk is growing at an alarming rate as he turns your phone around, showing you what you already know is there—a picture of Loki you took last week.

It was after dinner and everyone was loosening up before the weekend, getting tipsy—even the elusive God before you was sipping his special Asgardian mead. He was more relaxed than you’d ever seen him, actually smiling and engaging in conversation with Thor. Evidently, Thor had just said something hilarious because Loki started to laugh—his head was thrown back, raven hair tumbling over his shoulders, carefree—and he was beautiful, otherworldly, and you couldn’t help yourself from capturing the moment with your phone. And now here you are, caught red-handed by Loki himself.

“Am I your lock screen?” he asks with a wicked grin, and you wish the ground below you would just open up and swallow you whole, anything to escape this horror.

You huff and sigh, letting your face fall into your hands as you cringe. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” You don’t think you’ve felt this embarrassed since you were in middle school. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken the picture without telling you, that’s really creepy.”

He nods his head slightly. “Creepy, yes,” he agrees somberly, “however, it is quite an excellent picture if I say so myself. I don’t blame you for being unable to restrain yourself.”

Despite your embarrassment, you roll your eyes exaggeratedly at his hubris, until you hear him actually laugh out loud, making you snap your head back up. “I’m joking,” he chuckles, “God of Mischief, aren’t I?”

He’s walking towards you, long deliberate strides, and you feel yourself getting more flustered with each step he takes. He’s staring, but his gaze is soft and gentle, not harsh and unapproving like the way he regards almost everyone else in the tower. He’s almost too close, your noses mere inches apart, a simple movement away from touching. A silly part of you worries that he’s taking in every flaw, every imperfection on your face. “I don’t mind the picture,” he murmurs. “But why me?”

For a moment, you wonder what you can tell him, a believable lie, anything but the truth. Because the truth is your most absurd, ridiculous secret—you like Loki. He’s been the secret object of your affection for weeks now but saying it out loud would only cement the fact that nothing would ever come of it. He’s a God, for fuck’s sake. So with a shrug of your shoulders and a muttered “it’s a nice picture,” you turn away from him, pretending to revert your focus to your cup of coffee that was getting colder by the second, when you jump at the sound of his voice in your ear. “You’re lying.” It feels like velvet, rich and deep, seductive. Ignoring your previous attempts to avoid him, he leans with his back against the kitchen counter so you have no choice but to face him.

“I can always tell. I am not just the God of Mischief,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, brows furrowed as he gazes at you, searching for the truth. You swallow nervously under his scrutiny—part of you wants to tell him more than anything, another part is deadly scared of humiliating rejection, and yet another part is screaming that if you don’t tell him right now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

So you look him dead in the eyes, those perfectly green eyes and you want to be confident, but your anxious half-smile gives you away. “Perhaps I like the subject of the photo,” your voice comes out as just more than a whisper. You see his hand moving up out of the corner of your eye, then feel it touch your cheek ever so lightly—his fingers are smooth and cool like marble and they send chills down your spine, the best kind of chills. There’s that wicked grin again.

“And perhaps I like the photographer.”

[chihomichannel]

of candy wrappers and unprecedented endings

| pairing: choso x reader | genre: angst & fluff | warnings: mention of death; sad things blended with happy things | word count: 2330 words | a/n: hi! this is clem! this is the 3rd and final part of “bittersweet lollipops” so read the first two parts before this but it can also be read as is. this wasn’t my first plan for the 3rd part and i had actually written a lot when i realized that i don’t want it to be the 3rd part lol. so i rewritten this today and here it is! hope you guys like it!

◄ previous |

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Time has always been the limit for humans. We were born and raised, thrown into the world and built our lives only for everything you’ve worked hard for to be left behind once death came right by your door. And for sorcerers like you, death has always been just a step behind, ready to take you once it was your time. But in your case, you miraculously lived long enough to know you would die with no regrets.

Feeling the hand clung onto yours, your eyes woke from its slumber. Your eyes were met with the bright sunshine that illuminated the whole room, the white of the ceiling shining brighter than ever. Your head turned to your side to see Choso sitting asleep by your bed, his hand on top of yours while the other held your family scrapbook. The page was open, showing a picture of your family at its early stages. It was you and Choso both holding onto your newborn with your friends by your sides. You remembered it was your first born’s first birthday and you smiled at the vivid memory that crossed your mind.

You thought back to that day when everyone was present, celebrating and just pure happiness. You remembered Megumi tackling Yuuji when he was about to feed your baby he didn’t know your daughter could not eat. You remembered Panda with your baby lying on its stomach and Inumaki shoving toys to your daughter to amuse it. You remember Gojo arriving late with a bag full of sweets to which Choso took eagerly. You remembered Nobara continuously flaunting her outfit. You remembered Maki and Nanami just being there. And you remembered looking at everyone, just taking in that moment and storing it inside your treasured memories. You remembered the atmosphere, the calm and the chaos in the house. The hot rays of the sun shielded by the window pane. You remembered that moment and longed to return to that day.

Blinking, you were snapped back to reality. You took note that the atmosphere was the same as that day. You smiled, eyes tired even though you only just woke up. You glanced at Choso’s hands that clung onto yours, it was tight but he held you as if you were fragile glass. You knew he’s worried and so you moved your hand and intertwined it with his. Choso stirred awake, licking his dried lips as he leaned up from his position “Hey” he said, his voice cracking slightly. He looked tired, the look in his eyes told you they’ve lived for so long. They’ve seen so much yet his face was still the same. His body looked the same, everything looked the same. His youthful face hid the hundreds of years he’s lived.

He smiled- oh his smile. His smile is something you never got over. When you first knew Choso, you would have never guessed that he could be so expressive. With his indifferent mien, even at the start of your relationship, you would always be so surprised to see another expression on his face. You loved it especially when he has this confused, wondering face. You always found it so cute. You found everything he does cute. It scared you just how much you’re in love him. But you could never imagine nor wish for a better life because the life you have with Choso by your side is a life you would never bargain anything for. You are content and you are in love. You didn’t even realize it but Choso became your life. The little world and family you’ve built with him, it’s yours and his. No life was better than this.

“Morning” Choso scooted his seat closer to your bed, he had his elbows on the soft mattress, taking your hand to his lips. “It’s afternoon, silly” You weakly told him, softly chuckling. You felt him smile in your hands and you gazed at him adoringly “I see you’ve been looking at the scrapbook again”

“Yeah” Choso pulled away from your hands and flipped the scrapbook to the next page “I guess I fell asleep while doing so” He mused. He stopped and you looked at the page to see a picture of you and him decades ago. It was a selfie when you two eloped that one fateful night. The two of you never planned for a wedding nor did you think you would ever get married. It was never a thought in your mind but during that night, Choso looked so beautiful. Even with his mouthful of tacos you grabbed on the way to Panda’s birthday, something about the night with the streetlights and the swarm of people highlighted Choso in your eyes. And at the bus stop, just as you were about to get on it, you pulled Choso into a halt and waited until the crowd got on the bus before you spoke “Will you marry me?”

You both skipped on Panda’s birthday and got married. It was a decisive decision but no doubt the best you’ve ever made. A year later after that, your daughter was born and you swore, Choso had never glowed brighter. Your heart felt soft whenever you see your daughter and husband bonding. And the sight of your daughter cuddled up against Choso made you feel so thankful that these beautiful people are part of your life. Because of them, life was so much brighter.

You and Choso bore four more children after that. To say that life is noisy is an understandment but the noise made you happy anyway (albeit stressed). You stopped at baby number 5, with your eldest being 15 at the time. As expected, your daughter became a sorcerer, proving to be much stronger than either of you with a cursed technique she invented on her own. Your second didn’t follow onto the jujutsu society and made a life of his own outside the dangers of your reality. Your third inherited Choso’s blood manipulation and was almost bought by the Kamo clan but of course, you and Choso shielded your child away from the mess that is clan families. Your fourth also became a jujutsu sorcerer and your youngest inherited your cursed technique. All in all, your children now had lives of their own with all of them being fully fledged adults.

With a sigh, you yawned, reaching out for the scrapbook and putting it on your lap. You flipped to the next page and a grin etched on your face. You giggled, motioning to Choso the scrapbook. It was you and Choso all those years ago before you were married. It was that day out when Choso kissed you on the ferris wheel. It was when you two were sitting on the sea wall when he secretly snapped a picture of you looking the other way. A glint flashed through Choso’s eyes, his lips mirroring your grin. Choso traced the design by the photo, it was a bunch of lollipop wrappers you two had been eating when you were designing this specific page. He remembered you chastising him for almost emptying the packet of lollipops. Chuckling, he turned to look at you to see you looking at him so lovingly “I love you” you told him and Choso felt his chest tighten. It was a wonder how you still had so much effect on him when you had literally spend your lifetime together “And I love you”

Choso examined the wrinkles in your eyes when you smiled. Your once smooth skin was now wrinkled out of old age. Your once vibrant hair is now a dull white. Both your eyes now have a cataract that clouded your sight. And your lips remain chapped no matter how many times you apply a lip balm. But even with all these things you’ve obtained as you aged, you still looked so darn beautiful. It was no secret that his never changing youth made you insecure. You wished he could age up with you but realized that was selfish and so you brushed off these thoughts. What you didn’t know is that Choso also wished the same. He wished he could grow old with you and get wrinkly together.

It was cruel how he couldn’t age with you. If you thought about it, he’s actually more than a century older than you yet here you are, minutes away from letting go. Choso clutched your hands, his eyes shaking as you breathed frailly. He breathed out your name, tears brimming in his eyes. He let out a whimper when you called his name, hiding in the cold of your hands “Choso” You repeated, feeling a pang on your chest. You leaned forward to embrace him, trapping him in your arms resulting in Choso to lean on your shoulder, letting out a quiet cry.

You cooed, kissing his temple before hiding your face in his hair, his locks drying the tears that fell on your cheeks. “Don’t go” He cried, his voice muffled “Not you too” His voice cracked causing your arms to tighten around him “Choso, Choso” With that, Choso looked you in the eyes.

“Please never be alone-” You paused, composing yourself. Choso held your cheeks as you continued “-find someone-” “I could never love someone else other than you” Choso said committedly. You gave him a look before you continued “-please, please don’t blame yourself” You held his cheeks, giving him a soft smile as you plead “And please don’t be sad”

You broke, Choso catching your tears with his mouth. Planting kisses on your face, Choso savored you in. The both of you could feel it. It was the worst feeling ever. But thinking back to your life, it was never short of happiness. Choso was the pill that gave you the energy to live your fullest. He was the reason you found a purpose in life and became a mother of five. He was the reason you ever felt true happiness. And thinking back to all those memories, you can confidently say that you left this world with no regrets.

 ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

A snowflake fell on Choso’s nose causing it to twitch at the contact. It was cold and Choso stood in the midst of the crowd, unmoving as stone. He sighed, a cloud forming in front of his mouth. Yuuji had called him to meet him in the plaza in front of the huge clock that stood tall in the middle of the park. Choso scanned his surroundings and took note of the large crowd that flocked together at night. It was the night before Christmas eve and Choso was alone. His children all had their own families to tend to. The original plan was to celebrate at his home but plans tend to change and Choso ended up alone. If not for Yuuji, he would probably be asleep by now.

“Choso!” Hearing someone call out his name, Choso turned to see his brother and his friend, Megumi, heading his way. Yuuji’s pink hair is now white, his smile now has wrinkles on them. It was the same with Megumi and Choso remembered he couldn’t age. It made him sigh, wanting nothing but age together with the people he cares about. It bothered him so much, especially with his eldest child looking much older than him. It was unfair, Choso wailed to the gods.

Choso let them pull him wherever, going along with the flow. But even with the boisterous laughs of his brother and the chatter that filled his ears, he felt alone. He was surrounded by people yet he felt so cold. Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, Choso going along wherever his companions went.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Yuuji. He was worried about his brother which is why he called him in the first place. His legs hurt from old age but if it means his brother would feel better, he would go out in the cold to walk with him. Megumi already went home and Yuuji is walking Choso home. He noted the faraway look Choso held. Yuuji felt sad at the sight. He remembered how Choso shined when you were still alive. But the Choso walking beside him now was nothing but the shell left of his body. His eyes held no soul, that is until Choso’s eyes landed on the ferris wheel.

It was the same ferris wheel as back then. Like before, it flickered in different lights, switching its color as it rotated. Choso held a cry, feeling a lump in his throat. You. Oh, you. He is so in love with you still. He saw that yellow pod, though unsure if it was the one, his heart ached at the memory of you. His heart always aches every second of the day. You, he thought of you. He felt the linger of your touch on his skin, your breath as you laughed against him. He felt your kisses and the love you felt for him. The clutch of your fingers as you held onto him. He felt you.

He breathed in the cold air, taking his eyes off the ferris wheel into the night sky. The jet black sky was painted with the white of the snowflakes that fell. One dropped on his cheek and rolled down the same time a tear fell down from his hollow eyes. A breath left his throat, a smoke coming out of his mouth. He will find you, he is determined to find you. No matter how long it takes. No matter what millennia he meets you again. He will be there and you would be in his arms again. He will tell you the stories he’s lived and live another lifetime with you. No matter how many lifetimes, what matters is he’s with you.

Another set of tears run down his cheeks. He misses you but he will live on. He will live on.

He will live on.

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[taetaespeaches]

“It’s everything to lose.”

taehyung x reader/oc  (but also jimin x platonic reader/oc) genre: angst word count: 6K

a/n: well, this was a process to write lol. Basically, Peaches/reader and Tae are experiencing a mix of feelings due to their best friends’ (Jimin and Dear) break up. Fears of a possible relationship with each other are worsened, plus, Tae and Peaches are just sad because their closest friends are sad. Also, Peaches finally talks to Jimin for the first time after he broke up with Dear, so that’s a big part of this as well. And we get a brief moment between Peaches and Dear, our ride or die duo. Ok, that’s really it. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks so much for reading! :))

Grasping the back of your neck, you massaged your muscles as you yawned, your eyes set on the coffee percolating into the pot. You loved your best friend, and of course you wanted to be there for her, but her post-break up antics were beginning to wear on you as you failed to get accustomed to running on five or less hours of sleep night after night.

Leaning over the countertop, you looked through your most recent texts with your other best friend, Taehyung. The conversation, which started with him bragging about an amazing waffle he had just eaten, had turned a bit sour as you both defended opposing friends in their recent breakup.

It was hard to find common ground with the man these days, as he was on tour with the antagonist of your friends’ little drama, and you were in a constant state of being the shoulder to cry on for the dear protagonist. A sigh slipped from your lips as you scanned through the messages, the grumbling of the coffee pot sounding in the otherwise silent apartment.

You: He dumped her through text while he was away on tour. That’s fucking ridiculous and it’s cowardly.

Tae: You don’t know what’s going through his mind though.

You: There’s obviously not much going through his mind.

Tae: He’s your friend too.

You: And he broke my best friend’s heart.

Tae: I know that. I’m sorry, I hate this whole situation.

You: Me too. I’m sorry and I hate it too.

Tae: Is she at your place again?

You: No, I’m sure she will be but right now she’s out drinking with those stupid friends she has.

Tae: Oh….

You: Yeah. I’m anxious as fuck. I wanted to keep her from going out but you know, I can’t do that. She has to do what she’s gonna do.

Tae: I’m sorry to add to your stress.

Tae: She’ll be ok, Peaches.

You: No, it’s ok, you could never truly add to my stress. You’re my comfort, Tae, you know that.

Tae: I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle like this.

You: I’m sorry you are too. I’m gonna try to get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, have a good night, Dearest.

Tae: Sweet dreams, Peaches.

Craving for two seconds away from the ongoing story of your friends’ turbulent romance, you scrolled up on your text conversation with Tae, a faint smile appearing on your lips at the photo of a waffle the size of the plate it sat upon, followed by a photo of Taehyung shoving a massive bite into his mouth.

Tae: It’s definitely big enough for the both of us but since you’re not here I guess I’ll have to manage it alone.

Tae: I miss sharing breakfast foods with you.

Tae: Never mind, this is so good, I’m glad you’re not here to eat it all.

Your brief moment of relief was broken when your screen changed to display a caller you were not prepared to speak to. Guilt and anxiety settled into your stomach as your breathing hitched slightly at the image of his name and photo. The contact ID reminded you of simpler times, the man pulling a silly expression with his chin tucked into his neck to give himself two of them. He had called you a few times the past couple days, but you’d consistently ignored them, trying to avoid hearing the voice of the man you considered one of your closest friends.

You almost didn’t answer again. Looking to the room your best friend slept in, a serious hangover awaiting her on the other side of slumber, your thumb pressed on the green circular button on the right side of the screen.  

Pausing a moment, you shook your head before raising the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You answered, your voice hushed as to not wake up the girl a few rooms away. A rush of air sounded through the phone, as if the man was sighing in relief, but that was the only response you received. “Jimin,” you sighed.

“Hey,” he spoke quietly, defeat coating his tone. He must not have had the strength to pretend to be ok.  

Another awkward pause ensued, both of you waiting for the other to break the silence first. With another sigh, you stood up straight, turning your back to the counter as you leaned against it. “Can you say something?” You asked.

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted lamely, you licking your lips which became quite dry suddenly.  

“You called me,” you pointed out, annoyance in your words that wasn’t intentional but was true to your current mood. “You’ve been calling me for days, but you don’t know what to say?”

“I didn’t think you’d answer,” he said shakily, and you were sure there were tears bubbling up in his eyes.

Hearing the sadness in his tone, you chewed on your bottom lip, trying to conceal your own emotions in response to his tone. You weren’t sure your feelings even mattered right then. “Well I answered,” you told him, in a sort of assurance. Assurance of what, neither of you were sure, but it allowed Jimin a small sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” the man whispered, causing you to clench your teeth to hold back your pity and consideration for him as you turned back around to the coffee machine.

“Don’t thank me,” you told him, a slight anger behind your tone. “What do you want to say? I have errands I need to run.”  

As Jimin prepared his words, going through his mind to figure out exactly why he was calling you, you patiently waited, halting your movements as your hand sat on the handle of the coffee pot. You knew he needed time to gather his thoughts, and though you were angry with him, you cared for him enough to give him that. “I just miss you,” he admitted, a crack in his voice indicating the earnest admission.

Taking in a shaky breath, you let it out in a wobbly exhale. “Of course I miss you too,” you said honestly. You refused to lie to him about that. “But I don’t want to talk to you, Jimin.”

His words tumbled out of him bitterly, but it was shrouded in frustration, which you believed to be with himself. “You were my friend first,” he said, uncertain whether he regretted the comment or not.

“I’m still your friend,” you told him adamantly, though your voice was still quiet.  

“Then please talk to me,” he begged, almost desperate for the affection you normally showed him. Well, that you showed him before he broke your best friend’s heart.

“I can’t,” you told him trying to sound stern, but your exhausted state ruining your feeble attempt to put up a front.

A sniffle sounded through the phone, adding to the heaviness in your heart. “Why not?”

Holding the phone to your ear with one hand, you moved your other from the coffee pot to the top of your head as you scratched your roots in frustration and distress. “I can’t risk saying something awful to you,” you confessed through an unsteady voice. And that was it. You were angry with him, but you didn’t want to hurt him. “I love you, you’re one of my favorite people on this entire planet, Jimin,” you cried, your sniffling giving away your emotion to the man on the other side of the phone.

“I’m sorry,” he told you in a rush as you wiped away a tear.

“I see her every day,” you told Jimin in a whisper, ensuring your voice was too low for your friend to hear you if she suddenly awoke. However, you were sure the quietness of your voice was giving away that the woman he still loved was just feet away from you; just feet away from the conversation currently taking place, asleep in your spare bedroom. “I’m so mad at you, Jimin, god I’m mad at you,” your voice suddenly broke, no longer able to hold back the pent-up emotions. If Jimin’s thoughts had strayed to the girl nearby, the sound of your distressed voice surely brought him back to the present conversation; the present state of your friendship. “I need to process all of this before I talk to you because I love you and I can’t say something I’ll regret or something I don’t mean,” you explained as tears spilled over your lash line.

“I understand,” he said roughly, clearing his voice right after as if he was trying to pull himself together for your sake.

“I just-” You paused, holding your breath as you attempted to swallow more tears. “I need time so I can forgive you,” you told him sadly, clenching your fist together as you tried to steady your breathing. “I’m sorry,” you told him, your voice just above a whisper.

“Please don’t apologize,” he begged, choking back a sob. “I get it, take your time,” he assured you. “I’m really sorry for doing this,” he admitted sadly. The man sounded regretful and broken, your pity for him swirling around in the whirlwind of emotions you were currently experiencing. “All of it.”

You knew that was true. You knew he still loved her. And you knew he felt immense guilt for what he did to her, you, Taehyung, your whole friend unit, but mostly her. That much was obvious.  

“I do miss you,” you assured him through a small whimper, choosing to give him the reassurance rather than responding to his apology. “I won’t be mad forever.”

“I miss you too,” he told you sorrowfully. “I’ll be here whenever your feelings change.”

With that, you ended the call, leaving Jimin alone in his hotel room. Setting the phone to the counter, you wiped your face once more before grabbing the handle of the coffee pot, pouring some into the mug you had taken out earlier.

Thinking upon your conversation with Jimin, you wanted nothing more than to scream at him; tell him what an idiot he was. But you also wanted to wrap him up in a hug and tell him that he would be ok. You were my friend first. You scoffed, thinking of his remark, though a tear slid down your cheek. You wanted to be there for your friend, but how could you be when your other friend was just down the hallway, passed out after a night of trying to numb her heartache through the use of alcohol? He caused that pain. You were right to be mad at him… weren’t you?

It was almost astonishing how things, seemingly meant to be, could fall apart right before your eyes. Things weren’t always easy for Jimin and your friend, but they loved each other. One would think that love would be enough to get them through. But maybe love isn’t enough. Maybe fate isn’t enough.

Fate. Soulmates. They’re interesting concepts. Souls destined to find each other. But the rhetoric surrounding these notions don’t suggest that you’ll end up together.

But maybe if Jimin and your friend could see past everything that went wrong, they would find something worth fighting for still. It wasn’t simple, but it could be simpler for them.  

Something also simple but not simple at all was you and Taehyung. More and more recently, you had been realizing how much you love him. Maybe you both were meant to be together too. Tied together by the fate of your souls. But seeing how things can fall apart, perhaps it’s more risk than it’s worth. Wasn’t it better to have Tae in your life in the role of your best friend than it was to complicate things and lose him? You couldn’t lose him. You wouldn’t let yourself.

You sniveled as you brought the coffee to your lips, making an attempt at a deep breath before taking a sip. Your emotions needed to be locked down by the time your friend awoke. However, that concern came too late as two arms wrapped around your middle, the surprise affection causing you to jump in start.

The presence of her limbs were tentative as he she carefully rested the side of her face against your back. Breathing out in a huff, you relaxed a bit. “Jesus,” you spoke softly, but your friend gave you no response. Alarm bells went off in your head as her body trembled just slightly against yours. “You ok?” You asked, setting the mug down carefully.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed against you, and as your mind went into high alert, your heart plummeted into your gut. Immediately, you turned in her arms, wrapping your own around the back of her head, holding her impossibly close to you. Sorry?

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” you assured her, leaving a kiss to the side of her head on the top of her hair. “Absolutely nothing.”

“My behavior last night could use an apology,” she admitted, causing you to smile slightly though she couldn’t see it with her face buried against your neck.

“Well, maybe that,” you teasingly agreed, thinking back to the few hours earlier in which you had to drive to the club she was at because she had broken down on the dance floor. All anger, if there was any to begin with, however, had completely dissolved when you pulled up outside the establishment to find her sitting against the wall in the cold, mascara stains down her cheeks as she sobbed about how much her heart hurt. “But are you even apologizing for that?” You asked her, realizing she must have heard you on the phone with her ex.

“Partially,” she cried harder. She knew the strain the breakup had put on all four of you, and though it wasn’t her fault, she still felt guilty. You knew she did. Her heart was too soft for her to not take some sort of blame.

Allowing her to cry in your arms, you moved your hand to the back of her head as you tried to make her feel safe. “You’re gonna be ok,” you whispered to her repeatedly in a gentle tone.

After a few moments, she pulled away to look at you, your thumbs moving to her cheeks to wipe the tears away, though more continued to fall, quickly replacing them.

“How is he?” She suddenly asked you, her lip trembling as she held back a sob.

Scanning her features carefully, you debated your answer. If you told her he was ok, it would make her feel pitiful for not being ok, plus it would be a lie. If you told her he wasn’t ok, it could possibly hurt her even more. Locking your eyes on her pleading ones, you sighed. “About as good as you,” you told her simply, holding back your own tears as she broke down, your arms wrapping around her shoulders to bring her close once again.

Placing a hand back against her head, you held her to you tightly. “Why does that make me feel worse?” She asked against your shoulder, her voice muffled from your sweatshirt.

“Oh babe,” you spoke softly near her ear, a tear slipping from the inner corner of your eye. “Because you still love him.”

You weren’t sure if you should have said that, but it was true. And maybe if she heard it from you, she would face those feelings. As she cried against you, your mind raced over everything that had happened that morning already. Everyone was so broken, and suddenly your mind found its way to Taehyung. Because he was the only one you wanted to talk to in that moment. He was your comfort.

But what if you didn’t have him anymore? Two people as meant to be as Jimin and the girl in your arms couldn’t even make it work. Add in your fickleness in love, and where did that leave your odds at success with Tae? You refused to break him, and you couldn’t lose him. You just couldn’t.

Hauling your groceries through your apartment, your phone started ringing in your pocket. Rushing to the kitchen, you set the bags on the floor before grabbing the device, finding Tae on the other side of the video call.

Accepting it, you waited for his face to appear on the screen before greeting him. “Hi,” you answered in a huff, Tae immediately chuckling at your hectic state.

“Hey,” he greeted, “Are you busy?”

“No,” you shook your head, dropping the phone to the counter just after speaking the word, causing the man to giggle further. “Just got home from grocery shopping,” you told him as you discarded your bag off your shoulder and onto the countertop. Taehyung hummed in response just as you propped the phone up against the side of your bag, situating it so he could see you as you stood in your kitchen.

“Did you get anything fun?” He asked, as you scanned the bags on the floor.

“Um,” you cut yourself off with a yawn, “I got those cookies you like,” you spoke through your exhale, looking at him through the screen to take in his appearance. “You look handsome,” you told him, the man smiling slightly at you as you stared at his still damp hair atop his head, giving away that he had showered recently.

“You tired?” He asked suddenly, being met with your groan as you stared down at the groceries without moving. “What happened last night?”

“Well, she went out with those friends and of course it was too soon for her to be out partying and I had to pick her up at 2 am outside of the club because she had a break down,” you ranted to him as you knelt down to begin taking items out of the grocery bags.

“Jesus,” he sighed, your eyebrows raising at his response.

“What?” You questioned defensively, piling items onto the floor as you emptied all the bags.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he tried to evade your anger. “I’m assuming she’s not there right now?”

“No, she went back to her place for a bit,” you told him. “What was with the judgmental tone just now?” You pressed.

Looking up at the phone, you watched as shook his hair out with his hand. “It’s just, that’s not really fair to you, is it?”

Scoffing at him, you stood, not bothering to look at the phone as you brought some juice and a few other items to the refrigerator.

“I just mean, you deserve some rest,” he added. “A break maybe.”  

“Well I don’t get a break because your best friend broke up with mine and she’s devastated,” you said coldly, shutting the fridge door and turning back to face the device.

“He’s your friend too,” he reminded you, his eyebrows raised, causing you roll your eyes.

“I know that,” you said in annoyance. “But you don’t see what she’s going through every day,” you pointed out, feeling protective over your friend and her broken heart.

Reaching to grab a box of crackers off the floor, you headed toward the cupboard as Taehyung told you, “You really should talk to him.”

Letting out a dry laugh, you nodded to yourself. “Tae, she’s my best friend,” you reminded him once more.

“I get that, but he’s your friend too,” he repeated, causing you to sigh. “He’s going through stuff too,” he added. You wanted to scoff, but if you were being honest with yourself, your anger towards Jimin had diminished significantly since speaking to him briefly that morning.

“Well,” you thought out loud, facing the man once more. Folding your arms over your ribcage, you shrugged. “I’m sure he is but he did this,” you said, trying to remain firm in your coldness.

You were met with the sound of Taehyung breathing out slowly as his eyes stayed locked on you. “That’s not really fair, he’s hurting too,” Taehyung defended his friend.

“I love Jimin,” you clarified. “But I don’t have time to think about him when she’s at my place all the time because she can’t handle being alone in her own apartment for a single night,” you told him, staring at him as you waited for him to respond. Taehyung ran his tongue over his bottom lip as you sighed. “I know Jimin is hurting, but she is too. And it’s bad, Tae,” you told him sadly.

Taehyung sighed as you stared at him through the phone, waiting for his next words. “I know, I don’t mean to be insensitive to her. I know he hurt her, I get that. I’m just here with him and he’s a fucking mess,” Tae huffed. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted sadly, giving you a defeated shrug.

Stepping closer to the phone, you shook your head slowly. “I don’t either,” you admitted. You both sat in silence for a moment, watching each other through opposite sides of the phone, your remaining groceries still waiting on the floor.

Taehyung was the first to break the silence, asking, “What are you thinking?”

Sighing, you ran your hands over your face. “I don’t even know, I’m just-” you stopped yourself, not sure if you should speak your next words; because of the implication to you and Tae.

“What is it?” He pressed, resituating himself on the bed as he sat laid across a pillow, his head supported by his hand. “Peaches,” he said gently, causing you to relent.

“Maybe they shouldn’t have ever gone from friends to more,” you thought aloud, Tae’s silence feeling heavy on your heart as he tried his best to keep his face from giving away any emotion.

“You think?” He asked simply, his feigned indifference covering up the hurt you knew was there.

“It’s just a hard leap to make,” you explained, leaning against the counter on your elbows, holding your chin in your hands. “If it doesn’t work, this is where it leaves you.” Your eyes were glued to the phone as you watched him carefully. Suddenly, you felt angry at these fucking phone companies who couldn’t make a better camera or give you a better connection to be able to read the emotions flashing through his eyes and features more closely.

“Sometimes it works though,” he told you quietly, his voice nearly shaking, almost as if he was meekly defending himself.

A lump formed in your throat that you didn’t believe you’d be able to ever swallow, knowing you were the cause of the sadness he was feeling. “But if it doesn’t, that’s a lot to lose,” you argued, your voice faint as the emotions sat in your vocal chords.

“But it can work,” he said a bit louder than his last comment, his voice more assured as he licked his lips.

“Tae,” you sighed, cocking your head to the side just slightly. You both knew you were no longer talking about your friends’ experience with moving from friends to lovers. There had never been any confirmation from either you or Taehyung, but sometimes it seemed as though there was an unspoken understanding of how you both thought of each other.

“Look at Jin,” Taehyung countered, pointing to the fact that Jin and his old friend had successfully added romance to their relationship over a year earlier. “They’re doing really well, they’re happy.”

“Tae,” you called out to him gently, attempting to swallow as your eyes shined with emotion. When he responded with his silence, his sad eyes scanning over your features carefully, you chewed on your bottom lip as you attempted to hold in your emotion. “It’s a lot to lose,” you whispered, holding his gaze. “It’s everything to lose,” you added, blinking a few times as Taehyung looked down to the bed and began picking at the comforter. A few seconds of silence went by and you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you suddenly exhaled, feeling breathless and tired. “Dearest,” you addressed him softly.

“No, you’re right,” he said half-heartedly, keeping his eyes directed downward. “It is everything to lose,” he agreed with a small nod, looking up to you.

“Everything, Tae,” you emphasized, hoping he would recognize that he was everything to you.

“You really should talk to Jimin,” he changed the topic, his tone stronger as he seemed to easily move on from your unspoken confessions. Inhaling deeply, you nodded slowly, standing up straight before moving back to the groceries. Trying to shake yourself out of the conversation that just took place, you spotted the cookies sitting on the floor.

“I’ll think about it,” you replied before reaching for the package. “I’m not gonna save you any of these,” you teased, holding them up for him to see as his lips spread into a mildly amused grin.

“Well I didn’t save you any of the waffle so it’s only fair,” he played along, both of you pushing aside the tension between you both once more.

You would think about talking to Jimin, you meant that. But it would be hard to think of anything but Taehyung.  

With your thumb hovering over the call button, you sighed deeply as you tried to muster up some courage. Lowering your digit to the phone screen before you could change your mind, you nervously raised the device to your ear.

The rings were deafeningly loud as you awaited the answer, running your hand through your hair and chewing on your bottom lip; nervous gestures.

“Hey,” Jimin greeted suddenly, his voice appearing breathless as if he rushed to the phone.

“Why’d you do it?” You asked him, skipping greetings and pleasantries. A moment of silence encased the phone call before Jimin sighed.

“I don’t even fucking know anymore,” he said, a sob following the words as if he had been sitting on the edge of a break down for days; weeks. The confusion and heartbreak in his tone shattered your heart, filling you with guilt for evading his calls and texts for so long. “I don’t know if there was even a valid reason and I regret it so much.”

“I don’t understand what happened,” you admitted, thinking back upon their relationship and what they had revealed to you.

“Me either,” he barely spoke through his cracked voice. “I don’t know, it’s like, as secure as we made each other feel, it was like we could never fully rid ourselves of our own insecurities,” he explained through his cries. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” He asked as he held back tears.

“Oh Jimin,” you sighed, realizing what drove them apart. And suddenly, you had the urge to wrap them both up in hugs because in an instant, there was nowhere to place the blame you were previously placing on Jimin. It was both their faults, and also no one’s fault. Jimin had made the wrong move, your best friend didn’t make enough moves, and yet they were both just victims to their own intrusive perceptions of themselves.

“Our own shit just got in the way and-” he let out a harsh breath. “When I sent the text I immediately regretted it and I was just trying to convince myself that it was for the best,” he sniffled. “And I was about to take it all back and beg for forgiveness, fuck, I was thinking about leaving tour and coming back to her so we could fix whatever the fuck was causing all of this shit between us,” he paused as his cries took over.

“Why didn’t you take it all back?” You asked him.

You collected up the patience as you gave him time the time to think back on the breakup. “All of a sudden, she just stopped fighting,” he said sadly. “We were always fighting for each other, and she finally stopped. And I don’t know, I think it kind of cemented the idea that I did the right thing. It hurt, and it felt wrong, but she accepted the breakup and gave up.”

“Fuck, Jimin,” you held back your tears at the defeat in his voice. “She didn’t stop fighting for you, she just didn’t have enough fight left in her to take on your insecurities any longer,” you told him.  

“What’s even the difference?” He asked. “Whether she stopped fighting willfully, or whether I took the fight out of her,” he scoffed, “I became too much for her.”

“I don’t think you could ever be too much for her,” you assured him. “Look, do you want me to speak to you compassionately or truthfully?” You asked, the question being met with a dry laugh.

“You’re always compassionate, but I want the truth,” he told you, you nodding though he couldn’t see it.

“You fucked up,” you told him, “but also I don’t think this is entirely your fault,” you quickly added. With a sigh, you thought out loud. “How do I word this?” you pondered. “You two are two of the most incredible people I’ve ever known and yet, you guys can’t fucking see it.”

Jimin scoffed, making you roll your eyes. “I said I was speaking truthfully, so just listen to me and try to actually hear what I’m saying for once,” you told him, the man agreeing to listen by giving you his silence. “You see how incredible she is and that makes you insecure because you don’t see yourself living up to what she deserves. And it’s the same for her, she doesn’t think she can be what you need and what you want, despite you assuring her constantly that she’s everything to you. And that holds you both back from being exactly what the other person wants,” you paused for a moment, letting the words permeate Jimin’s brain. “If you two could just be who you are and give each other that version of yourselves, you wouldn’t be in this situation,” you explained to him. “She fell in love with you, she just wants you.”

“Fuck,” he sobbed, the pained understanding echoing in his single expression. “But I fucked it up, I hurt her and I don’t think we can fix it this time.”

“I truly do not understand how you can be so wrong about this all the fucking time,” you groaned. “She is in love with you,” you told him, enunciating the words carefully. “You hurt her, and you hurt her bad, but she hasn’t given up on you,” you told him. “Whether she admits it or not, she’s waiting for you to fix it,” you informed the man. “So fucking fix it. Stop holding yourself back and just be happy, Jimin.”

“I don’t know if-”

“Be happy,” you interrupted him. “Stop being so idiotic and just fight for your happiness. Fight for hers,” you begged him, frustration over both of your friends’ moronic actions getting the best of your patience. “You both deserve each other because you’re both the best,” you went on, trying to convey to the man how strongly you felt he and the girl you both adored belonged with each other.

“She still loves me?” He asked, being met with another one of your groans. “Sorry, I just, she does?”

“Do you still love her?” You asked, knowing the answer but wanting him to speak it out loud so maybe he could truly hear it.

“With all of me,” he admitted sadly, a sniffle following the words, allowing you to visualize the tears running down his cheeks in that moment.  

“Do you really think that’s one sided?” You asked him.  

“I really don’t know,” he admitted, a small sigh leaving your lips.  

“It’s so simple but you guys make it so complicated,” you complained, the man giving you the slightest chuckle in the form of a single exhale. “You both lost the fight, but you didn’t lose the fight for each other, you lost it to yourselves. Does that make sense?” You asked.

“I think so?” He said, thought it came out as a question.

“You guys were defeated by your own insecurities. It’s not like you chose to give up on her, just like she didn’t choose to give up on you. You both just feel hopeless right now, that’s-”

“It’s not hopeless?” He asked, and despite the negative comment, there was a renewed optimism in his tone that lifted your lips into a faint smile.

“No,” you shook your head. “It’s not hopeless.” You both sat in silence, nothing but your breaths sounding into the phone receivers. “I’ll talk to her,” you assured him. “If I get any sense that she doesn’t want you anymore, I’ll let you know and I’ll be full of apologies and you can hate me forever,” you told him.

“I could never hate you,” he scoffed.

“But if I’m right, which I know I am, Jimin, I know it,” you assured him, “then you need to find that hope and bring it back to her.”

With a sigh, Jimin agreed with a simple, “ok.”

“Ok,” you replied. “Fix it.”

“I hope I can,” he spoke softly, his voice still sad, but much less defeated than the start of the conversation.

“Hope is enough right now,” you told him.

“Thank you for finally talking to me,” he said, a hint of a smile evident in his voice.

“Thank Tae,” you corrected. “He talked me into it.”

“He really is the only one who can cut through your stubbornness, huh?” He asked teasingly, you chuckling lightly in response.

“I guess he is,” you agreed.

“Speaking of simple but making it complicated though,” Jimin noted, drawing upon your earlier words, and reflecting them back on you and your relationship with Taehyung.

“Tae and I aren’t complicated,” you negated Jimin’s observation, only to be met with a disbelieving laugh. “We aren’t,” you remained firm. “I know it seems complicated but, when it comes down to it, it’s the simplest thing ever.”

“Ok, break it down for me then,” Jimin asked for your elaboration. “How is it simple?”

“Because at the end of the day, we just love each other. So much so, that we’ll do anything to keep one another in each other’s lives,” you explained. “And that makes my relationship the simplest, easiest relationship I’ve ever had.”

Jimin hummed in return, thinking over your words. “That does sound simple, I guess,” he agreed. “But are you happy?”

You paused for a moment, surprised by the question. Were you? Were you fulfilled with Tae’s role in your life as you went and dated other people, finishing each escapade craving for more, anxious for the night to be over so you could call Taehyung and hear his voice as he expressed whatever was on his mind? The truth was, no one was or ever would be Taehyung. No matter how great they were, no matter how smart, kind, funny, genuine they were, they would never be him. But Taehyung was in your life, and maybe that was enough. So, were you happy? Turns out that’s the most complicated question you could have been asked.

“This isn’t about me,” you told Jimin with a small smile.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Are you happy?”

“I’m not unhappy,” you said assuredly. That was true, for sure.

“But is that happy?” Jimin pressed, causing you to sigh in annoyance.

“It’s happy enough,” you told him. “But one of us has to be happy, right?” You turned it back on him.

Jimin breathed out your name, but you dismissed him. “This is about you right now,” you told him. “If you fix things on your end, then we can entertain a discussion about my happiness, ok?” You asked him, though it wasn’t really a topic up for debate which he understood.

“Deal,” he agreed with a light chuckle.

Happiness, you thought. What was it? You were sure it was different for everyone. Just as you were sure it comes from many different sources. For you, though, your main source of happiness was seeing Taehyung smile. His happiness mattered most in terms of your relationship. And if he was happy being your friend and having you as his, then you were happy. Happy enough.

If he wasn’t happy… well, something would have to be done about that.

[aomine-ryo]

hi!! could i please request aomine + kise w a super insecure s/o but she doesn’t really say anything about it? but overtime the boys see how closed off she seems w everything ? aaa sorry if this doesn’t make sense

It made sense, don’t worry!! I hope you like this x

Scenario: Kise and Aomine with an insecure s/o

Kise

You loved dating Kise— you really did. As someone who had tendencies to worry about what others thought of you as well as be over-critical on yourself, being with him was quite refreshing. His bubbly personality and constant reassurance definitely helped you gain some self-love that you probably wouldn’t have been able to find without him.

There was one issue though. Kise was a rather popular person, being a model and all. For the first few months of your relationship, you managed to stay hidden by not going out in public with him too often. Of course, the two of you couldn’t always have dates at each other’s houses because there were so many places Kise wanted to take you, so you slowly began to go out together.

It didn’t take long for rumours to go around about your relationship, considering Kise’s popularity as a model was growing quite rapidly at this point. At first, you didn’t mind too much because they were just rumours and no one could confirm nor deny it per say. Furthermore, you felt quite happy knowing that Kise was all yours, and that you were in a relationship where you lifted each other up, so what others said about it wasn’t something you were concerned about.

However, that was until people started sneaking pictures of the two of you in public. You didn’t notice anything as it happened because you were caught up with Kise, but a few hours after you returned home, your social media was plastered with mentions as people tagged you in photos with your boyfriend. Looking at the surge of those photos made you begin to feel overwhelmed. You couldn’t help but read what people had to say about it, even though you knew you’d probably regret it.

At first, you didn’t really see anything too bad. Things like ‘Oh a new couple! How cute’ and ‘They’re adorable together, Kise-kun looks so happy’ seemed to be scattered amongst more surprised and sceptical comments that questioned the validity of the photos. And then you found the hate.

‘Yikes. Why is Kise dating someone like that?’, ‘No offense but Kise can do better’, ‘Did they pay Kise to date them or something? I never imagined him actually dating someone like that lol’ along with many other comments of that sort was soon all you saw. The nicer comments that were sprinkled here and there suddenly lost all its value as the meaner ones were all you seemed to look at.

You switched your phone off and put it aside as you began to feel your throat close up. As your brain began to question your self worth, a few tears managed to escape, even though you were trying so hard not to let it get to you. Maybe they were right? was all you could think about as you slowly but surely beat yourself up about it.

“Y/N-cchi! Are you free after school?” Kise chirped as you met up with him at recess a few days later.

“Probably. Why?”

“Let’s go on a date! There’s this boba café nearby that I think you’d really like,” he said with a smile, cheery as ever.

“I’m not sure. I think I’ll have to pass,” you said softly. You really didn’t want any more online attention than you were already getting.

“Why not?” he pouted.

You looked up at his frowning face and felt a wave of guilt. You made him sad. The comments were right. You don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel like it,” you shrugged, pinching yourself.

“You’ll feel better when you try their drinks— trust me. It’ll be fun,” Kise said, giving you a smile that never failed to make your heart melt.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded slightly, “Alright I guess we can go then.”

Kise’s face lit up once again as his arms wrapped around you so tight that you felt like you couldn’t even breathe. “Yay, a date with Y/N-cchi!” he sang.

After school, the two of you walked to the cafe together. The weather was quite pleasant, and the bright yellow sun definitely improved your mood ever so slightly. As you walked, Kise took your hand in his like he usually would, but almost instantly, you pulled it away from him, gaining a look of confusion in response.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-cchi?” Kise asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing. My palms are just a bit sweaty, so I don’t think you’d wanna hold my hand,” you lied. You couldn’t help but be on edge in the case that someone was watching you.

“They felt fine to me, don’t worry about that,” Kise said, reaching for your hand once again.

You couldn’t really think of anything else to say to refuse without garnering any questions from him, so you reluctantly let him hold your hand, looking around anxiously. This keeping an eye out lasted for quite some time and Kise seemed to notice that your attention wasn’t fully directed towards him like it normally would be.

“Y/N-cchi, are you really sure everything is okay? You’ve barely even looked at me today,” Kise said as the two of you sipped on your drinks in the cafe.

“I’m fine,” you answered simply, over-correcting your actions by focusing on Kise and pretending everything was okay.

“Really? You seem really nervous,” Kise said.

“Ryouta, I’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

“If there’s ever anything worrying you, you can tell me,” he said sincerely, placing his hand on top of yours and giving it a tight squeeze. “You know that, right?”

For a moment you really considered telling him what’s been bothering you, but you were afraid. You thought that it was really stupid of yourself to get affected so much by something like this and you didn’t want him to judge you for it— even though you were aware that he’d never do that.

“I know,” you nodded as you leaned back in your seat, filled with uncertainty and regret.

Once again, when you got back home, you were met with even more pictures of you and Kise from your date. You noticed that you had a frown on your face in pretty much all the photos. And of course the comments seemed to notice too.

‘lol his date doesn’teven look like they want to be there’, ‘that person looks annoying, why’s Kise dating someone like that’, ‘if I were with Kise I’d probably pay more attention to him than they are’.

Day by day, the comments increased. Kise’s agency managed to be able to keep the tabloids relatively silent about it. There were small articles here and there, but none of them were all too bad. However, there was no way they could control what was being said on the internet. Kise did call you up to remind you not to be too concerned about what people were saying. In fact, he urged you to do what he does and avoid the comment sections completely. But at that point, it was already too late. Looking at what others said about you online quickly became a daily thing, sending you down a spiral of self-destruction that only got worse.

Slowly, you began to avoid going outside and started making more and more excuses to not go out with Kise. You did still really like spending time with him, but the only time you were truly comfortable was when you were somewhere private with no other people around, and that wasn’t something Kise could do too often because he liked going outside.

He’d invite you to hang out with his friends every so often but you’d always refuse, saying that you were too busy. In all honesty, you hated lying to him but you felt like you had to.

One afternoon, you were laying down in bed after a tiring day of school and scrolling through comments yet again, when you heard the doorbell ring. It was Kise.

“Ryouta? What are you doing here?” you asked with a confused expression. “Don’t you have practice?”

“Yeah but you didn’t come to watch so I got worried,” Kise explained as he stepped into your house. “What happened, Y/N-cchi? You always watch my practice.”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t feel too well,” you replied, your eyes fixed on the floor.

“What? Are you okay?” Kise asked, in a slightly panicked tone as his hand immediately reached for your forehead to check your temperature. “You seem fine.”

You responded with nothing but silence as you pursed your lips and continued to stare at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Kise leaned down to try and meet your gaze. “Y/N-cchi, what’s really going on? You’ve been really distant lately. Have you gotten tired of me or something?” Kise asked, his usual cheery voice suddenly going all soft.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” you shook your head, surprised that he’d even think of something like that.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled.

“Y/N-cchi, please tell me what’s going on so that I can help. I really hate seeing you like this. I can’t remember the last time I saw a genuine smile from you, which sucks because I really like your smile,” Kise said as he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up to look at him in the eye.

You felt tears well up in your eyes as you thought back to all the things you’ve read about yourself. Kise genuinely cared for you and you told yourself yet again that you really don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel very confident going out so much with you,” you admitted softly.

“What? Why’s that?” Kise asked, amber eyes filled with concern and worry.

“Because there are people who sneak photos of us and post them online. And the comments are always just so... mean,” you said, your voice breaking as tears began to roll down your cheeks.

“Didn’t I tell you not to look at those? What did they say?”

“T-That I’m not good enough for you, and that I don’t deserve you,” you replied, sobbing like a baby at this point.

“And you’re going to believe what a bunch of random people say about you?” Kise said, which silenced you for a moment as you thought about it. “Listen Y/N-cchi, you’re beautiful and kind and one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. I’m the luckiest person in the world because I get to call you mine. If anything, I don’t deserve you— I mean it. No one could ever make me think that you’re not good enough because in my eyes you’re my everything,” Kise said, voice so soft and tender that it just filled your body with warmth.

“Are you sure?” you asked, unable to process the fact that this boy had so much love for you.

Kise pecked your lips and gave you a smile. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

“I’m sorry for not talking about it to you sooner and acting so aloof,” you said.

“It’s okay. We can take it slow and just spend more time alone, alright?” Kise said as he wiped your tears away with his thumb.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you sniffled.

“I hope you can see yourself the way I see you someday. You’re really amazing, Y/N-cchi. I love you so goddamn much,” he said, honey eyes full of care and sincerity as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of those words that made your heart skip a beat, “I love you too, Ryouta.”

Kise’s face brightened up again as he too began to grin, “There’s that gorgeous smile— I’ve missed it.”

Aomine

Aomine was aware that you had times where you felt insecure every now and then and of course, he did his best to minimise it and check up on you to make sure you were alright. He seemed to be doing a fairly good job as well because your confidence was rather stable for a while.

One of the main reasons he’d always check up on you was because he was really slow on picking up when you did feel insecure. You were the kind of person to sit quietly and deal with your issues by yourself rather than reach out for help so that made it slightly difficult for him sometimes. Along with being slow at noticing, Aomine was often one to take things for granted. So when you seemed to be all happy and confident, he’d slowly begin checking up on you lesser and lesser.

You never realised how much you valued the attention from him though until it began to reduce. You seemed to have become emotionally dependent on Aomine and by the time you realised it, it was a little too late.

Slowly, as days went by, you began to feel more and more unsure about yourself as Aomine got busier. The Winter Cup was just around the corner and he was caught up with practices that he didn’t have as much time to tend to you. Nevertheless, he still went out of his way to call you up or visit you during his free time, though that time was never enough for you to open up about how you felt.

You weren’t sure when it happened, but before you knew it, your mind was clouded with dark thoughts that criticised your appearance and abilities. You’d often stand in front of the mirror and pick yourself apart piece by piece, feeling nothing but hatred towards the person that looked back at you.

You stopped enjoying the things you’d normally enjoy too. Things like art and reading became a burden as every time you’d pick up a pencil, you’d hate every stroke you made, and you couldn’t immerse yourself into books anymore because your mind would only just wander off into thoughts about the things you wanted to escape.

“Hey babe, how are you doing today?” Aomine said when you picked up his phone call one evening.

“I’m okay, are you heading back from practice?” you asked, able to hear a faint sound of footsteps in the background.

“Yep. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he sighed.

“Didn’t you see me in school today?” You pointed out.

“Barely. Besides, that was hours ago. I miss you,” Aomine said.

“I miss you too,” you replied, hearing his voice somehow put a small smile on your face.

“Can we FaceTime instead? I want to see you,” he requested, which immediately wiped the smile away.

“I don’t think so,” you said, shaking your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“Why not? You can’t just keep that pretty face to yourself, you know. It’s not fair.”

“I look anything but pretty, trust me,” you said, playing it off as a joke even though you actually meant it.

“Oh come on. Please?”

“I said no, Daiki,” you snapped suddenly, shocking both you and Aomine. You definitely didn’t want to put yourself on video, however you didn’t realise how defensive you were about it until that point. But you stood by it.

There was a moment of silence as you took in what just happened before Aomine let out a heavy sigh. “Alright. It’s fine then I guess,” he said. There was definitely a change in his tone after that. What was previously an energetic and happy sound, was now more lukewarm and mellow, and you couldn’t help but feel responsible for it.

And now there was one more thing for you to beat yourself up over.

Aomine finally had a few days off of practice, and of course, the first thing he wanted to do was spend time with you. So he called you up.

“Hey, do you want to go out for a movie or something? I finally have some free time,” Aomine asked you.

“Um, I’m not sure. I don’t think I feel too well,” you said. The last place you wanted to go was outside. You had to walk to the convenience store the other day and you absolutely hated it because you felt like everyone was judging you in some way or the other, even though in reality, no one really looked at you for more than a second.

“Really? Is everything okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I guess I’m just not feeling up to it,” you said.

“Then how about we do something tomorrow?” he suggested.

“I don’t know...”

“Y/N, I barely get to see you anymore. Are you sure you’re not avoiding me or something?” Aomine questioned, being more straightforward not to mask his hurt.

“I’m not.”

“Then why don’t you want to spend time with me?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, feeling overwhelmed at the pressure you felt to not make him hate you even more.

“Y/N, that’s not an answer,” he sighed.

You responded with silence as you finally decided to shut yourself up before you made things worse. With one more disappointed sigh, Aomine ended the call. The sound of the ringing finally caused you to break down into tears. You finally reached rock bottom. You chased away the one person who actually cared about you. He probably hates you now too.

Meanwhile, Aomine was striding towards your house after ending the phone call. It may have been a bit cruel to just cut it without saying a goodbye, but the frustration just took over. You weren’t even responding at that point so Aomine just decided to see what was wrong for himself. It took you a while to answer the door, and when you did, there was a forced smile on your tear stained face as you let him in.

“I’m sorry for cutting the call short. What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked.

No response. You just stared at the floor.

Aomine’s hand reached for your cheek, “Hey, were you crying—“

He stopped when you flinched and shifted away before he could lay a finger on you. “I’m fine, it’s nothing,” you said coldly, wrapping your arms around your body and clenching your shirt.

“You won’t even let me touch you. Did I do something wrong?” Aomine asked, trying to think about whether or not he’d done anything to upset you recently. However, nothing added up as he barely saw you— there was no way he could’ve done anything.

You hated every moment of this. All you could think about was how you probably looked awful at that moment. He came so suddenly that you didn’t get a chance to fix yourself. Furthermore, you’d just been crying so you probably looked like a train wreck. He is definitely thinking about how bad I look, you thought. You didn’t want to find out though, so you just avoided all eye contact.

“You’re really not going to even talk to me?” Aomine asked, and as he expected there was yet again no response. He sighed. “Fine then. I’m not leaving your house until you tell me what’s going on.”

You watched as Aomine walked further into your house. He went straight into the kitchen, and you, not knowing what else to do, trailed behind him as he began to check the cabinets.

“I’m starving. Have you eaten lunch yet?” Aomine turned his head to look over at you. You shook your head. “Alright. I’ve been learning how to cook. I’m not guaranteeing a gourmet meal, but it should be edible... hopefully,” he said, beginning to pull out different ingredients.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled.

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“No.”

“Yeah I thought so. I’m making us some food,” he said dismissively.

You knew Aomine was stubborn so you didn’t try to argue any more because he’d make it no matter what you say.

You watched him walk up and down the kitchen and do his thing in silence. You really weren’t sure what he was trying to make. There were so many different ingredients that just didn’t make sense, but you just stood and watched.

About half an hour went by without a word from either of you. Aomine began humming a song as he stood over the stove, which strangely made you feel more at ease. As he stirred the pot, he seemed so harmless that you began to finally calm down and build up the courage to tell him.

Almost as if he could read your mind, he finally spoke up, “You ready to say something to me yet?

Another moment of silence passed by as you bit your lip in hesitation. Aomine was just about to let out another disappointed sigh when you muttered, “I’ve just been feeling really insecure lately.”

Hearing your voice caught Aomine off guard for a moment. Even though he was the one who asked you to speak up, a part of him was expecting nothing to happen yet again. He switched off the stove, wiped his hands and turned to face you, leaning against the counter as he did so. “Insecure? About what?”

“I don’t know. I just hate how I look. And everything I do feels so inadequate. Plus I haven’t gotten to see you in a while so I got the feeling that you probably hate me by now. I’m acting like a brat now, after all,” you said, voice soft but the pain was evident.

“I want to start off by saying, I could never hate you. You’re always on my mind Y/N. Why do you think I like to call you so much? Actually, why do you think I came all the way over here? It’s because I care about you,” he said.

You finally looked up at him again. He looked as gorgeous as ever. And this dark blue eyes were gentle and caring. Maybe you were overthinking it.

Aomine took you getting your eyes off the floor as a good sign. So he took a few steps closer to you. “And I get how you feel about the other stuff. I feel like that too sometimes. But honestly, I find you absolutely beautiful. I really don’t know how much weight my words have, but that’s what I think. You’re also so smart and talented, I really just think you need to be a little kinder to yourself,” he continued.

And just like that, the waterworks went for round two. You didn’t know how much you needed to hear those words until right then.

Aomine felt his heart ache at the sight of you in this state. He hesitated for a moment because of what happened when he tried to touch you earlier, but he soon wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight. Almost immediately, you too wrapped your arms around him and sobbed into his chest, the smell of his cologne making you feel safe at your most vulnerable moment.

“I’m so sorry for being so distant. I’ve been so awful. I should’ve talked to you,” you cried. It was a bit difficult for Aomine to understand what you were saying through the tears but he processed it a few moments later as his fingers brushed through your hair reassuringly.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said softly as he pulled away and held your shoulders so he could look you in the eye. “I’m just glad you told me.”

You nodded as you tried to stop yourself from crying.

“Here,” Aomine said, as he pulled off the black dog tag necklace he wore and put it around your neck. “It’s not much, but think of it as a reminder that you’re always amazing in my eyes.”

You felt your heart burst as you became teary-eyed again, except this time it was out of gratefulness.

“...is that too lame?” Aomine asked as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly when you didn’t say anything.

You immediately shook your head. “No, it means a lot. I-I love you.”

A smile spread across Aomine’s face. “I love you too, Y/N,” he said. “Alright, I’m gonna finish making our food, okay?”

“Sure,” you nodded as you watched him return to the stove. “But, can I ask what exactly you’re trying to make?”

“Um, ramen?”

You began to giggle, “Babe, I don’t think you should put tomato sauce in ramen.”

“Oh, right... I knew that.”

[pdaliceliveblogs]

Ahhh yes someone linked me that tweet on discord, it made me SO happy! There’s no heterosexual explanation for any of that episode tbh. It was an absolute delight.

Yeah, I wouldn’t expect Disney to accept it, but I’m so glad it’s there.

This ask surprised me, because it felt pretty obvious that was Lily, and I hadn’t really questioned why. I guess... next to Eda, almost the same hair colour as Eda, her eye colour (only just visible in the photo, but visible nonetheless), forelocks like Eda’s, and looking kind of sour and annoyed.  Also I had been very slightly spoiled by seeing someone’s username “lilyshairwaspoofierthanedas” so I knew she hadn’t always been sleek, lol.

Man, I only saw Bend It Like Beckham once, and it was a long time ago, but I remember it being about as explicitly gay as anything I ever saw at that age. Wow, sports!

...oof. Yeah. I’m amazed she was still walking.

She is! She definitely has that ‘lawful stupid’ paladin edge to her, even though the laws in question are often evil as hell. She follows the rules and expects everyone else to do the same, and it comes back to bite her over and over. (Of course, then you look at that versus her defining moment being an actively harmful method of cheating, and wonder if it’s compensating for her greatest regret....)

It was her childhood dream, and it’s a dream that was actively harmful-- to her sister, in obvious ways, to her, as it’s run her ragged under a lying supervisor, and to their community at large as it’s the support system for a tyrant. Her leaving it will probably be very good for her in the longer run, but it’s still painful as hell for her right now.  I’m not gonna say she didn’t deserve it, because she absolutely did, but it’s definitely rough.

Hey thanks, I’m really glad to hear you’re enjoying! I’m not gonna all the way finish Tutu before I carry on with Owl House, but I’m definitely going to do an episode or two before I start the next season, and I’ll try to wind them in more frequently. I’m also going to do a big post of my s2 predictions before I keep going, but I’m still typing that up haha.

...that’s surreal as hell. Wow. It’s been a while since I was into a show that was actively airing-- IT gets dropped several at a time, and b4 was all at once, so I think it’s been... since SUF was on. Woah.

[mxngy]

summary: a tipsy hook up with atsumu. this is a enemies to friends (kinda) with a little bit of twist

characters: atsumu x f! reader (characters are aged up) post time-skip!

tw: dubcon*kinda (they were tipsy), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it lol), slight degradation, curse words!! (the f word lmao) please lmk if there’s more!

a/n: this is my first time publishing a smut lol pls bear with me guys i’m not v good at this 😬✋🏻 minors please dni! or else i’ll cry myself to sleep. so,, hiyaa! i am back on this blog with a nsfw hshs

“what the fuck? you said you fucking hate me but what did we do for fucks sake, atsumu?!” you yelled at him. and he hated it. your voice was the first sound he woke up to today. he groaned slightly and took a look at himself, no strings attached. fuck, he fucked up real bad this time.

you? out of all people?

“you were grinding on me and you expected nothing will happen? miss girl, where are all your senses?” atsumu snapped back. he palmed his face, all thoughts have flown out of the window when he decided to dance with you last night.

you scoffed at his response. “are you insane? both of us were tipsy as hell!” you felt your tears almost fell on your face when you were reminded of what happened last night. it wasn’t your intention, but you regretted nothing. at least for now.

atsumu took a sip of his wine as his eyes trailed your movements on the dance floor under the dimmed lights. why do you look so hot even though he hates you? he couldn’t think straight as the alcohol kicked in.

you felt a pair of hands snaking around your waist from behind. your mind was hazy because of the alcohol, but even you knew that the devilish smirk he showed you was a trap.

you have fallen for his trap.

“you look hot” atsumu crouched down just so he could whisper dirty things in your ears. he earned a scoff as a response.

he held your waist as both of your bodies moved along to the rhythm of the songs. all of your friends were eyeing both of you guys with a bet that you guys would eventually slept together by tonight.

atsumu was right, you were grinding on him as that one particular song you have always liked came up. atsumu felt hot in all of sudden when you grinded on him without further thinking. he hates you, but he just can’t resist this flirty side of you.

his grips on your thighs were enough to be bruised the next day. his tongue lapped on your dripping arousal. he watched your body squirmed with a smirk. “you said you hate me but why are you so wet, hm?”

you wanted to kick him in the face but your legs had given up on you. “pl-please ‘tsumu” your soft whimpers only pushed him further. atsumu spanked your inner thighs, “say what you want or you won’t be getting any from me. say your words, pretty girl.”

“i want your cock so bad, ‘tsumu” your fucked out face was enough to show him that you wanted him to rail the shit out of you right then and now.

atsumu’s slender and long fingers pumped in and out of your cunt. he watched you as you threw your head back and eyes rolled back with your cute little whimpers asking him for more and more. his arms caged your body on either sides of your body, “look at me. you are so dirty asking for my cock.”

he scoffed. he aligned his throbbing cock with your entrance and slammed his hips onto yours. your hips bucked up with the sway of his hips. “fuck, you look so cute with my cock splitting you open, you slut” he chuckled sarcastically. his thumb found your clit and rubbed small circles on it, trying to get you your first orgasm.

your knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets too tight. “tsumu tsumu please please please” you begged for your release. atsumu thrusted into you mercilessly, holding himself from coming first until you came.

“fuck fuck fuck” you cursed as you felt the climax washed over you. not long after he came inside you, painting your insides white with his thick cum.

atsumu panted as he laid beside you, looking at you with a smirk. both of you had lost in the petty fight you guys were having. the worst thing is he didn’t remember if he actually helped you to clean up after because he was sleepy.

the next thing he knew he woke up to your voice and found both of you with no strings attached. right...

both of you just left after the unwanted tragedy and avoided meeting each other at all cost. until one day you decided to take pregnancy test. your face turned white as the results showed positive.

“atsumu.. i’m fucking pregnant and it’s yours” you texted him with a photo of the pregnancy strip. you had to ask for his number from suna, just because he’s still friends with the idiot.

“how do you know it’s mine?” atsumu asked. he legit called you to meet up because if it’s true, then he has to be responsible for it.

“because you’re the only guy i ever hooked up with for the past few weeks you idiot” you snapped. you took a deep breath, “i don’t know. i-i just.. i am clueless okay!”

he looked at your restless face. “as much as i hate you, but i think i have to be responsible. after all, we were tipsy and both of us forgot protection. so, you like it or not, you are stuck with me.”

you wanted to be sarcastic, cussing him and whatnot but right now you just wanted to make the right decision. “let’s sort this out like a rational adult.”

atsumu smiled. this time it’s honest.

[mythicamagic]

As usual... I can never just choose one... soo here are my top choices you choose one. Lol

1. Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?

2. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.

3.that ship has sailed. i’ve had my one great love already

4. we’re just…friends.” “friends don’t do this type of shit!

5. Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” 

Why did I decide 2 of the hurt/sad/angst.. idk.. i suppose im glutton for punishment. Dont hurt me too bad if you choose to do one of them myth.

Decided to do a part two for - this ask. 

I chose;  The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.

---

The air felt crisp and clean, biting at Kagome's cheeks as she wound her scarf tighter around her neck. Winter markets were so much fun. The vast array of cute little items on display made warmth light up her chest, even as the candy and children's toys reminded her of a certain fox she'd left behind in the past.

Kagome smiled at Ayumi as she prattled on about something or other.

She shouldn't feel guilty. Shippo had barely visited the village in the last year she'd been there. Everyone had moved on. Including herself, somewhat. She'd been so wrapped up in her whirlwind romance with a certain Daiyoukai- the feudal era had been irreparably damaged as a home for her the second they'd broken up.

But she missed her friends. Dearly.

She shook herself. It was too late to go back on her choice now. The well had sealed shut for good.

Ayumi stopped to grab some hot chocolate from a street vendor, allowing Kagome a moment to warm her hands, rubbing them together.

Snowflakes gently danced about like powdered sugar, kissing Kagome's face as she turned- almost bumping face-first into a muscular chest. Fresh scents of wild forests and thunderstorms filled her nose, and she stiffened.

He smells the same.

Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, blue eyes narrowing. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

"Haven't the faintest idea of what you mean," he arranged his features into mild innocence, which was near impossible due to his smiling eyes.

"Riiight," she muttered, wishing Ayumi would hurry up.

Sesshoumaru gazed down at her, a pink gift bag in hand. Kagome grit her teeth, hating that she wondered who it was meant for.

"I did not intend to run into you here, before you accuse me of anything," his silky voice caressed her hearing once more. It sounded so lulling, designed to draw her back in. "Did you take my gift home with you or did you throw it away?" he asked, deceptively casually.

"Home. But don't think that means anything- it's not the plant's fault you're trying to worm your way back into my life."

The Daiyouki smiled to himself, obviously absurdly pleased. He began pursuing the street vendor's items right beside her, gazing at children's toys with a touch of gentleness in his steady gaze. Kagome was prepared to ignore him- until he leaned down, breath fanning 'accidentally' over her cheek as he picked up a doll and straightened.

"Do you remember Rin? And the other children-"

"Don't," Kagome said, unable to move away. She hated the thrumming of her skin so much. The way it cried out. Hated him.

Her skin flared alive, body humming with hunger. Like a shot of adrenalin to the heart, Kagome dipped her chin into her scarf to try and mask her escalating breathing due to his proximity. When they'd had sex- so many years ago- it hadn't been like human lovemaking.

He'd wired new pathways within her system via his youki. Sometimes she felt like it still lived inside her, having made a home for itself. They hadn't mated, but she felt irreversibly changed by it.

Kagome made a faint noise, squeezing her eyes shut.

Resist him-

"Kagome?"

Oh thank God.

"Ayumi, let's go," she said abruptly, facing her friend with an urgent look in her eyes.

Ayumi tilted her head slightly, eyeing Sesshoumaru curiously. "A-alright?"

"You do not need to leave," he turned, exuding a magnanimous air. "I am the one who intruded on your time, please continue," he gestured to the market, ensnaring Kagome's gaze with his own. Unblinking, unable to hide his more animalistic habits even after so many years.

"I hope to see you some other time when my presence does not disturb you," he said softly, walking away.

---

When entering work that Saturday, Kagome could already sense the buzz in the air. Someone had generously donated some priceless artefacts to their museum. The previously undiscovered finds that shaken everyone due to their rarity and mint condition. No one could stop talking about it.

Kagome's blood ran cold the second the items in question were described to her. Pushing through the crowd that had gathered, she stared in horror at the display case.

Itching for a fight, she immediately stormed to his office downtown, opening the door to reception and letting herself in. "Is Sesshoumaru here?" she burst, stopping in front of the secretary's desk.

"Mr Taisho?" the woman blinked, obviously thrown by the petite, angry miko currently glaring at her and using his name so informally. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No. Just tell him Kagome is here."

She was let into his office soon enough, trying to keep a lid on her crackling reiki. Sesshoumaru glanced up from his computer. "Miko? What a pleasant surprise."

Kagome slammed an article atop his desk. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped.

He raised a brow, briefly flicking his attention to the contents. A photo of red and white silks, coupled with polished spiked armour sat in a display unit. "Something wrong? It was just a donation, given in good faith."

"Donated to my workplace!" Kagome seethed, groaning and burying her face in her hands. "Don't you realise I'm going to have to see your things now every day? I've worn those clothes! I've slept in them as pyjamas! Are you trying to mess with me because you want me back?"

"That's a little dramatic, dear one, I'm not trying to 'mess with you.' It was just a donation," he rose from his seat, face inches from hers. "And if I wanted to romance you, I'd go about it much differently."

"Don't 'dear one' me," she snapped. "You could've donated that stuff years ago- or to a different museum. But no, you had to give it to mine."

"My gift was not meant to distress you, but," he rounded the table slowly, fingers dragging over the wood. "It does make me worry, seeing you so worn thin. Is something else going on? Separate from...us?"

Kagome stiffened, avoiding eye contact. Things with her boyfriend had been strained as of late, and the Daiyoukai's sudden appearance back into her life wasn't helping matters.

"There is no 'us.' I'm frustrated and exhausted, that's all. Don't make things even more complicated by asking about that stuff."

Sesshoumaru lingered close, and Kagome didn't shy away. The one person she couldn't bear to be near was also the only being who could offer some semblance of comfort to her due to his familiarity.

"This one meant to give you something," reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a business card, handing it over. Kagome immediately froze, staring at the name. "You miss him," Sesshoumaru murmured. "The kit lives in Kyoto now with his wife and children. Call him."

Tears pricked her eyes, and Kagome bowed her head. Full lips crumpled into a wobbly line.

"If there is something I regret more than our parting, it is that you felt compelled to leave. The fault lies with me."

Shaking her head, a saddened laugh bubbled up her throat. "It was my decision to break up, and it was my decision to leave the Feudal Era. Don't...blame yourself for that part."

"You did not do anything wrong," a long-fingered hand reached out, blunt nails losing their glamour. Sharp claws stroked dark curling hair back from her neck. Kagome's breathing hitched. "When we were together- you did not do anything wrong. We were both so young. It was foolish of me to act as I did, but I think it is now... that we are in the right place for something more."

Kagome shivered, body warming to him. Intuitively, the brush of fingers on her neck made her foolishly anticipate a kiss- sorely disappointed when it didn't come. "I'm not," she forced herself to say. Seeing the disappointment darken his brown eyes, she sighed. "I miss you," Kagome admitted quietly, turning away to escape from his touch. "I miss how... we were. I'm terrified of that, though. I was...under the impression we'd be together. Permanently. Then you had to go and tell me you needed 'pure' heirs to continue the family bloodline."

She laughed bitterly, loosely holding her arms. "The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I'm still in love with you."

"You are frightened that I will hurt you again."

Kagome nodded mutely. She then forced a giggle, giving a weak smile. "Besides, you may not like me as I am now. I'm more jaded than before."

"I like what I see very much," moving closer once more as though experiencing a gravitational pull, he stopped inches away. "I have missed you too," he muttered quietly, genuinely. She could feel him inhale her scent through her hair. "Very much."

Her mouth suddenly became dry. "I'm with Natsuki-"

"Leave him," a rush of passion entered his voice as Sesshoumaru swept closer, backing her into the desk. The wood dug into her thighs, their hips meeting. "This one is not interested in being 'the other man' in an affair. Nor am I interested in watching you remain with someone less than ideal," he snorted, resting his hand over her wrist and grazing his thumb over it.

"Y-you don't know anything about it!"

"I could smell your scent. It was not bright and cheerful even before I re-entered your life the other day. His feels...murky on you. Unhappy."

Kagome swallowed thickly, glancing away. "Observant as ever," she admitted softly.

"Or perhaps you did a poor job of hiding it," backing off a little- he rested his hip next to hers beside the desk, remaining near but barely touching. And yet everything felt so close. "You've changed. But you're still the same at your core, miko," hot breath fanned over her neck, teeth ghosting over the shell of her ear. "If you permitted me, I would not be reckless with your heart again, as I was in my youth."

Her palms traitorously slid up, sliding over firm muscles- running across his chest. He felt warm. His heart was beating fast. Was he nervous? Such a thing sounded impossible.

She bit her lip, secretly longing for the sensation of silks under her hands again instead of the modern cotton of his shirt.

"I don't know that I believe you," Kagome met his gaze, rewarded with the golden glow of his eyes instead of human brown.

"I've gotta go," she said reluctantly, forcing herself to pull away. "I need to be at work."

"Very well," he hummed, unmoving. "But if you...need something. You know where to find me."

He sounded almost desperate for an excuse to talk with her. Giving a curt nod, she let herself out of his office with a long breath, shaking her head. Sesshoumaru's static youki haunted her steps for the remainder of the day.

[littlemisslipbalm]

“I know you, Harry Styles” Pt. 2

aka “You’re an Angel”

how harry always be lookin’ at you ^^

AHHH so I’m so glad I wrote a second part of this! It got to be much more enjoyable once I just starting writing what I wanted and not keeping with the original idea I had lol. - I hope y’all enjoy: give me feedback and also I’d love some requests :) 

Cannot believe I gave this a slight musical twist bahaha

Also more music was inspiring me to write (that’s usually how it goes) so main songs were: Besame Mucho - the beatles and Time of the Season - the zombies (both mentioned in the story but if you wanted to get ready lol

Word Count: 6.6k (lmao what is wrong with me) | Warnings: kissing, allusion to smut, mentions of covid/quarantine, a little self-doubt/allusion to insecurity, FLUFF

Part 1

-

His fingers came down to your chin and tilted your head back up to look at him.

“You’re an angel and you deserve to be told so more often.”

His lips connected with yours. The kiss was chaste, but it felt so good. Your lips tugged slightly on his lower lip and Harry continued to kiss you. Then he gave you one more kiss that lingered on your lips, his lower lip slowly pulling itself over yours before he completely pulled away. The warmth of his lips remained on you even when he was gone, but you couldn’t help yourself from trying to tug him back down onto you.

-

You went to bed that night flustered, to say the least. You couldn’t shake the thought of what almost was down on that couch. It excited you, but it scared you a little too. You didn’t actually know this guy, even if he was famous Harry Styles. You wanted to get to know the actual person, Harry, before you did anything you might regret. It also scared you because this would eventually end. Your lives weren’t connected except for David and that was a rather loose connection. It wasn’t realistic to get involved with Harry, no matter how hot it felt to almost kiss him.

-

You woke up from the light flooding into your room, through the beautiful, yet impractical, sheer white curtains. You groaned, a slight grogginess from drinking last night. Then you remembered the events of last night, and you groaned louder. 

“Oh God,” you moaned to yourself in disbelief, before sliding out of the bed. You padded to the window and looked outside, the view from here was incredible, the city to your left, the vast hills to your right. This offered you some comfort. 

Then, you went over to the mirror in the corner of the room. Your hair was a mess from sleep, your eyes were drooping, and your clothes that you had slept in were askew. You rubbed your face with a single palm before setting out to the bathroom down the hall. You crept slowly, worrying you might run into Harry in your unideal state, which would make the events of last night all the more embarrassing. However, when you left the room, you heard music coming from downstairs and decided Harry was likely down there as well.

After the bathroom, you looked in your mirror once more. Your appearance was far more uniform now, even if you were still in your sleepwear. Harry still hadn’t learned what quarantine was so you were assuming he’d be in some nice outfit. You didn’t know what would be worse, going down in the oversized t-shirt you had worn to sleep last night or getting dressed like you actually had something to do today - when you didn’t. You decided to go with the easiest option, go with what you got. You added shorts underneath the shirt for some coverage and ventured downstairs.

There, the music became clearer to you. The Beatles’ rendition of “Besame Mucho” had just begun and Paul’s voice was extra sultry in it. You loved this song and you almost ceased to exist when you saw a shirtless Harry singing animatedly to it as he made himself cereal. 

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Harry. He had begun to sing to his cereal box when it had started, but he looked at you directly when he realized you were there. The way he sang out, “Besame, Besame mucho,” similar to Paul, was full of sexual yearning. 

His tone made you feel something deep inside, but it also made you feel like you were right where you were last night. But it was morning now, no wine to blame. Just the two of you with your eyes locked and Harry singing “kiss me, kiss me a lot.” The two minute song seemed to last forever. However, when it finally ended, Harry released you from his stare. You were in disbelief that the tension from last night had been so quick to pop up this morning.

“Lovely song,” Harry threw out as he passed by you and went somewhere else to enjoy his cereal. You stood there, still dumbfounded at what had just happened. You shook yourself out of it and went to prepare your own breakfast.

Finding all the ingredients for your breakfast smoothie, you blended them up, poured it into a glass, cleaned up and headed out into the house. Slightly in search of you entrancing roommate, but also interested in taking advantage of all the space this house provided. 

Harry was sitting in a different sitting room than the one from last night. You were happy with the change in scenery, not wanting any more reminders of last night. This room was smaller than the other, but it had a cute, little fireplace and you could imagine nights of laughing around the crackling fire, snuggled up next to someone you loved. You pushed the thought from your mind, knowing you didn’t have someone to snuggle with.  

Harry had transferred his music to this room's bluetooth system and a random playlist was on, you assumed. He was happily chowing on his cereal when you entered and you smiled sheepishly at him. You crossed to the empty spot on the couch, the furthest one from his toned, tattooed, naked torso. 

He raised his brows at your presence. “Hey,”  you said, you had no clue what else you could say. “Hey,” he echoed in response. Silence. God, this is awkward, you thought. How could you have gone and screwed this up already? You mentally facepalmed.

Harry broke the silence, “Any plans for today?”

“Ah no, David doesn’t really have anything for me to do right now, but,” you stopped for a second to sip on your smoothie, “I think I’m going to take Checkers out on a walk at some point.”

Harry perked up at the mention of Checkers, “Let me know when, I’d love to get some fresh air and play with Checkers, too.” 

You nodded, knowing the conversation was ending already and you’d go back to the awkward silence.

-

Harry and you went your separate ways again after breakfast. 

At around 3, you decided it’d be a good time to walk Checkers so you grabbed one of his leashes and searched the house for the dog. In the living room, from last night, you found Harry, laying on his stomach, with his arms around the tiny pup, snuggling him and whispering to him. 

You heard one snippet: “You’re such a cute lil’ baby, aren’t you? I love you,” he cooed to the dog below him. Your smile made an appearance on your face.

Clearing your throat, you notified Harry of your presence. 

Harry flitted his gaze up to you standing behind him, brows raised once again. “I thought we could go for the walk, if you’re still interested,” you said, holding up the leash. 

Harry jumped to his feet and thought better of making a comment about who the leash was for. Instead he said, “Yeah, thanks for letting me tag along.” 

“Of course.” You leashed up Checkers and went for the front door.

“Actually,” Harry’s words stopped you, “do you think we could go out the back gate?” 

You stood there slightly confused, you knew there was a path from the back, but you preferred walking to a patch of grass that required you to go out the front door. 

“Um,” you started, not particularly wanting to change your plan. 

Harry elaborated, “It’s just, I’d prefer no pap photos and the back walk is much more private.” 

You understood his preference and you knew you didn’t want to be part of a twitter storm of “Who is that with Harry Styles!” and you, even more, didn’t want to be part of the twitter storm that followed the first: the deep dive into your life and then whatever terrible thing they decided to say about you afterwards.

“That’s fine, I wouldn’t want that either.” You switched courses and Checkers was roaring to go, prancing and yipping excitedly. 

Harry mulled over what you said, he was, on one hand, glad you weren’t eager to be seen with him, but he also felt another feeling, possibly rejection, on the other hand, that you didn’t want to be seen with him. He didn’t know why he felt that, especially because he had been the one to bring it up.

-

Once out on the path, you actually let Checkers off his leash, he knew to stay close and since you weren’t walking next to streets you didn’t have to worry about cars. 

That left you and Harry to walk beside each other while Checkers went around exploring and sniffing everything. It felt weird to have your hands next to each other yet not touching as you walked. The path was wide enough for the proximity of your bodies to not be as they were, but for some reason you and Harry had decided to walk within touching distance.

Harry wasn’t one for silence, you were beginning to realize, as he always seemed to be the first to fill it whenever it fell between the two of you. 

First, he commented on Checkers and how smart of a dog he was for how small he was. You responded with something about how looks can be deceiving, even with dogs. Harry laughed. Silence. Then, he commented on the nature around the two of you and how beautiful it was. You only said “I love it.” Silence. 

Harry was at a roadblock, mentally, there were no roadblocks on the path. The three of you had been walking for ten minutes and you had only said about ten words. Last night had been so fun for him and then you ran off and he felt like it all had been ruined. Now, today the two of you had been walking on eggshells around one another.

He thought back to last night and ran through the list of things the two of you had meshed on. There was actually quite a bit and he was determined to get back to the ease of conversation that had occurred between you two last night. Finally he had it. Travel.

“If you had to live in one country for the rest of your life, where would you go,” he paused, “And why!” 

“Did you just pull out an icebreaker on me?” you asked, incredulous at the man walking beside you. 

You had been content with the silence, but obviously had to bite at his question. It was a good question. 

“I have no idea what that is,” Harry shrugged, crossing his arms nonchalantly. Your face turned to him and you couldn’t help your laughter. You could tell he was trying to be cute - and it was working. 

You thought about his question for a moment.

“Am I able to travel still or am I required to stay in that one country at all times?” “You have to stay there at all times, but you can travel to different places in the country.” 

You hummed at his response. “Alright,” you began, “Do you want to hear my thought process?” 

Harry nodded eagerly, “Please.”

You knew you talking more would make him happy and honestly you were happy to oblige. As awkward as you felt after last night, you knew you had to shake it off. You were both adults, Harry probably has kissed plenty of his friends and it's been nothing, you sure had. You could’ve been another name on each other’s list of friends you’ve kissed. It was hard for you to think of a reason as to why it had been so daunting for you to face Harry today.

“Ok, so the smart choice for a travel happy person would be the United States because it is very large and you could travel around within the country to different places.” 

Harry looks at you, a smile beginning to grow on his face. “Uh-huh,” he encouraged you to continue. 

“But, honestly I’ve always wanted to get out of this country. So then my next idea was Japan because while it may be small, I love it there and everyone is wonderful. It’s just this awesome place.” 

Harry’s smile was now an entire grin, he loved how animated you had become. “But?” 

You laughed at the fact that he already knew what you were going to say. “Exactly, but! I don’t know the language, so I would have to spend a long time learning it either there or here first and as you get older, picking up a language is hard, and Japanese is a complicated language even if you are young.” 

Harry nodded, again. This time you needed no verbal encouragement to keep going, travel excited you.

“Final answer,” you said, tone dire, like you were on a game show about to win the big money prize. 

“Final answer,” Harry echoed. 

He had flipped around and was walking backwards, you had no idea why, but he had wanted to get a better look at your face. It had lit up while talking and he just wanted to memorize the twinkle in your eye. 

“France. It’s relatively large - with cities, coasts, and countryside. It's wonderful, filled with beautiful art and history. I speak the language already, and even though the French can be a little mean, I, also, in fact, can be a little mean.” 

Harry bit back his laugh and clapped his hands.

“Wonderful answer, Ms. ...,” He paused, confusion filling his face, “I actually never got your last name, Y/N.” 

“Oh,” you said before quickly telling him your last name, then he repeated his praise, adding it to the end. 

You smiled back at him, feeling pride for your answer even if it was something silly. Harry made you feel extremely special. It was almost like you were the only person in the world when he looked at you. 

You jumped a bit to get back in pace with him and he turned back around. 

“What about you, Mr. Styles, where would you go if you could only live in one place for the rest of your life?” You nudged his exposed arm, the one that wasn’t covered in tattoos - just the eagle, as you repeated his question.

He sighed and looked at the sky, thinking for a moment. 

“Are people allowed to visit me?” he asked, turning his head back to you. 

“Sure, it’s not like you’re dropping off the face of the earth, people would know where you’ve gone,” you said. 

“But you wouldn’t be able to visit me?” Harry followed up. 

You responded to Harry with a question. “In this scenario are we both moving to places that we are never able to leave?” 

He shrugged, looking to you for the answer since he had asked the initial question that had complicated the scenario. 

You huffed and then took it upon yourself to decide. “Ok, so anyone who is not in a similar agreement as the one we have entered into in the scenario is allowed to visit you. So as long as your mum doesn’t enter into an agreement where she moves to one country for the rest of her life - that isn’t the same as the one you pick-  then she can still visit you.” 

Harry nods and snorts a little at how much you had just said in one breath. “Still no you though?” he teased. 

“No me,” you confirmed, smiling that he was considering you in the scenario, even if it wasn’t plausable thing at all. Like you said, he made you feel special.

“Ok, well,” Harry finally began his answer, “I like France.” 

He continued to look at you, but you knew he wasn’t done. “And I’m glad you cleared up the mum thing, because that would’ve probably swayed me back to England.” 

He chuckled at himself, which caused you to roll your eyes playfully and whisper a little laughing “Shut up.” 

He went on, “I like the idea of Japan or Italy as well, but I don’t know the languages there either. I don’t know, even with my Mum still able to visit me, I just love my home.” 

You bit your lip, that might just be the cutest thing in the world. 

“I love traveling around, I do. But, I want to go live in the English countryside some day. Have a little farm and a little family. We could go into the city if we needed, but it’d be a quiet little life and it’d be all mine. So, if I could only live in one country for the rest of my life it’d have to be England.” 

You blinked and smiled softly at the sentiment. He described something so beautiful and the way he said it, he sounded so sincere - he’d obviously thought about the idea before - settling in the English countryside with a family.

“That makes sense,” you started, your voice low, just above a whisper. 

Harry must have thought he detected some sadness in your voice because he was quick to say, “Technically, you know, the English Channel is half English territory and half French. So if we wanted to see each other, we could take boats out and meet in the middle,  without leaving our respective countries.” 

You threw your head back in laughter, but then you stopped in your tracks. You turned to your right and went off the path to a little patch of flowers you had noticed out of the corner of your eye. Your body crouched and picked one of the taller wildflowers. 

Harry had followed after calling to Checkers, letting the dog know of your pause in the walk. He and the dog came up to you. You turned your body back to Harry who was watching you intently. 

“We could see each other,” you looked at him and extended the long flower to him. “But we wouldn’t be able to touch,” you studied him carefully, he was like a puzzle - and you weren’t very good at puzzles, “Not without breaking the rules of our agreements.” 

Harry delicately touched the opposite end of the flower between you. His eyes flickered between the flower and your face. He smirked, “It’s a good thing that none of it’s real, then.” 

He plucked the flower from you with one hand and grabbed your now empty hand with his other. He spun you around and your laughter came out a little high pitched from the surprise of his actions. 

“Harry!” you exclaimed, you loved his spontaneity, but you felt like you couldn’t show just how much you really enjoyed what he was doing. He was still spinning you until he extended his arm and you thought it was the end. Until he tugged you and you spun right into his chest, leaving you wrapped up in his arm and staring at his face right above yours. 

As you worked to catch your breath, you placed a hand on his chest. You could feel his heart beating below your hand, it was practically in sync with yours. Harry didn’t know that though and he feared you’d think his heart was racing unreasonably. Your smile calmed him down as you continued to stare adoringly up at him. It was nice to be held so close. He was so warm and soft.

“Can you not run away this time?” His tone was playful, but his eyes were serious. His jaw flexed beneath his skin as his eyes squinted slightly at you. 

“I’m sorry?” you licked your lips. You didn’t understand his question. 

“Can you not run away before I can kiss you,” he repeats. Oh, you thought.

“Harry…” you trailed off, conflicted. You wanted to kiss him. You really wanted him to just lean down and take your breath away with the touch of his lips. 

“Just let me kiss you, please,” he was begging. Why did he have to beg? And give you that look that made you want to melt into him? 

“We barely know each other,” you finally get out. It pained you to even put your thoughts into words. 

“So what?” It was more of a statement, than a question when it came from Harry’s lips.

You realized he had a little clip on the top of his head, pulling back his curls. He still managed to look despicably handsome. He reached a hand to curl a strand of your hair between his fingertips. You sighed. Your eyes faltered from the hold his eyes had been keeping, his dimple making an appearance as he smiled sweetly down at you. You could tell that he knew what he was doing to you.

“Wanted to kiss you so bad last night,” Harry continued when he realized you hadn’t formed any words in the last minute. 

He began to sway the pair of you slightly in the March breeze. You couldn’t stop your tongue from darting out and wetting your lips at his words. His eyes trained on your face of course didn’t miss the small movement. He only blinked. 

“I wanted you to,” you said, still unsure of yourself, “I still want you to.” 

His hand in your hair moved to the shell of your ear and trailed lazily onto your jaw. “Then I can kiss you,” he stated, but his voice faltered giving away that he was still a little uncertain. 

You put pressure into the hand on his chest, “I’d say you’d have to make me dinner first, but you already did that.” He raised his brows at your change in tone, your words sounding slightly more flirtatious. 

You knew what you wanted and hell, maybe this would be the two most fun weeks of your lives. 

He leaned down to meet his lips with yours. Softly, your mouths danced together. You pushed your lips into his and his brushed against yours expertly. His pink lips were soft and you felt his bits of chin and mustached scruff on your skin. It all felt amazing. His mouth practically engulfed yours as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. 

Your body responded by pressing closer and humming a slight moan of satisfaction. Harry liked what he heard. Eventually you both had to come up for air, unbeknownst to your counterparts, both of you had asthma and this hot kiss had taken away your breath a little more than you’d like to admit. 

You pulled away from Harry a bit, but he kept his arm around you. “Seems like a good end to the walk, yeah?” Harry asks you. You bit down on your lip and nodded. Checkers had stayed close throughout your whole ordeal, thankfully, but it seemed like he was ready to go back home as well.

-

Back at the house, Harry and you flowed so much better now. Whether it was the chatting or the kiss, it didn’t matter. 

You planned for dinner again, deciding on take out, talked about watching a movie tonight, and then occupied yourselves with various random thoughts. 

Whenever you were in reach, Harry had his hands all over you. You weren’t complaining. You liked having him close to you. His skin was fiery while his rings somehow managed to maintain a coolness about them. 

The two of you settled in the back room with Checkers. You laid on the couch, while Harry was on his back, on the ground with Checkers laying on his chest. He lazily ran his hand through the dog’s fur, his other hand was extended up and you held his large hand in yours. 

Harry had insisted on being the music player for the evening. It had prompted the discussion of music selection switching between the two of them every day, which was reasonable. It wasn’t too awful, Harry and you had similar tastes in music and it was only one day if one of you wasn’t loving the choices being made on your off day. You liked the simplicity of it all.

Over the speakers, “Time of the Season” by the Zombies began to play. You started moving your head side to side to the beat. Harry began singing the main verse. Then you both sang out “it’s the time of the season for loving” not fully grasping at the meaning behind the words. 

Harry shifted as the music played so he was sitting at eye level with you. Your face turned to meet his and he smiled as he sang, “What’s your name?” And you giggled and pushed his shoulder. He stayed right where he was, leaning in closer. 

You spoke the next verse, “Who’s your Daddy?” while looking straight into Harry’s eyes. He threw his head back and groaned at this, there was no other word for what you had just done to him, it was simply hot. 

He tried to grab for you, but you pulled away and sat up, still singing the song. “Is he rich like me?” You caricatured yourself as if you were a wealthy woman on a yacht, flipping your hair and fanning yourself, and finished with a bite to your lip. 

Harry followed you up, taking over control of the lyrics, “Has he taken any time?” While he sang he pushed you softly into the back cushions, “to show you.” He pulled his body up over yours, face skimming over the front of your body, then when his face was at the shell of your ear he whispered, “what you need to live?”

You let out a shaky breath. His whisper against you sent sparks tingling straight to your core. He was pressed against you, waiting for you to make a move. The song and performance the two of you had begun was forgotten. You turned your head towards him and he moved to face you.

“Hi,” you giggled and brushed your nose against his.

“You’re an angel.”

“Oh?”

“You’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met. Only makes sense that you’re an angel.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes, “Down boy! Don’t go writing an album about me.”

You placed your hands on his shoulders and he looked at you with slightly squinted eyes. Then he smirked, sneakily, “I just might! I can see it already: Quarantine Angel the Album.”

“You already have a song called ‘Only Angel’ and she was your ‘only’ one so you can’t have another angel?” You tried to sound logical, but you were playing with him and had to try to hide your growing smile.

“Ah-ha!” Harry jumped up at your words and pulled you up with him. This left the two of you standing chest to chest, his hands now taking up residence on your waist. “You are a fan, I knew it!”

“That proves nothing!” You tried to break away from his grasp, but he refused to let you go. Your body twisted in his grasp so that your back was now against his chest and he was hunched over you slightly, trying to keep you from running away.

He scoffed, “C’mon that’s one of my least streamed songs and it’s off my first album. You obviously listen to my music, Y/N!” 

You didn’t dignify his remark with a response. You continued to wriggle in his grasp, but you actually were quite happy in his arms. 

“You can say you listen to my music, angel, won’t make me like you any less,” He smirked down at you.  

“You really are a narcissist,” you muttered under your breath. 

“What was that, angel?” He moved his head around to try and see your face. You huffed, it was clear he wasn’t going to stop with the pet name now that he had it. “Did you say I really am an amazing artist?” 

You finally wriggled yourself from his grasp and turned to face him, “No, I said you really are a narcissist.” 

Harry’s lips pressed into a thin line as you smirked at him. His mouth then shifted into a frown as he tried to suppress his laughter. 

“Hmm, maybe you’re right. You’re not an angel. More like an evil nymph.” 

“Why not just make me a demon?” You teased. 

He was backing you up into the wall as you continued to talk. “You’re sexier than a demon,” he replied like it was common sense. 

“Oh, alright.” 

Harry pressed up against you, your back on the wall, his hands back on your body. “See,” he whispered, “That right there. Who responds to someone telling them they're sexy with ‘alright’?”

“I don’t know,” your blush crept up your neck, suddenly feeling much more shy. Harry caressed your cheek, urging you to make eye contact with him. It was hard, but you obliged.

“I don’t usually receive comments like that.”

“But you’re stunning, angel?”

“Thought I was an evil nymph…”

“‘M not calling you an evil nymph, as a petname, you’re so weird.”

“You said it first, not me. But, seriously, I’m not usually one who receives constant attention - like that…”

“That,” Harry paused, nibbling his lower lip, “makes no sense to me. I find you unbelievably attractive and then your personality makes you all the more amazing.”

You continued to blush at his praise. “That,” you poked a finger into the center of his chest, punctuating your words, “is because you're able to find the good bit in everyone that makes them attractive. Plus, most people find my personality to be rather...off-putting.”

Harry tilted his head at your response, the playful conversation had quickly turned serious. “How do you know I always see the good in people?”

“We’ve already been over this, I know you, Harry, you’re a kind person. You do good by others, even if they don’t always do good by you,” you looked at him meaningfully, you wanted him to know that was a good way to be.

“I can be mean sometimes, unkind, angry, jealous, spiteful, all of it. I’m human, Y/N. I like you, not because I like everyone I meet, but because of who you are. Who you’ve shown me you are.” His eyes were looking intently back at you and you thought you might melt. “Your personality is refreshing, it’s real and honest. Anyone who doesn’t like it just doesn’t like being challenged.”

Your eyes faltered from meeting Harry’s gaze. Your hand on his chest fiddled with his cross pendant. 

He was wearing a white tank beneath an open short sleeve white button down. It was clean and refreshing. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing come out of his mouth. Like his shirt, it was refreshing to hear someone speak so kindly of you, even though you barely knew one another. It felt so good.

His fingers came down to your chin and tilted your head back up to look at him. 

“You’re an angel and you deserve to be told so more often.” 

His lips connected with yours. The kiss was chaste, but it felt so good. Your lips tugged slightly on his lower lip and Harry continued to kiss you. Then he gave you one more kiss that lingered on your lips, his lower lip slowly pulling itself over yours before he completely pulled away. The warmth of his lips remained on you even when he was gone, but you couldn’t help yourself from trying to tug him back down onto you. You whined a bit, pulling on his open shirt.

“You’re an amazing kisser, by the way,” you said quietly. Harry chuckled at your words and how you sounded so timid. 

“Next you’re gonna tell me you’ve never been properly snogged.” 

You disregarded his words, not trying to make yourself sound pathetic, that yes, no one had ever kissed you like Harry did.

“And I’m sorry I boxed you in before. I know you’re human and you have a full range of emotions. It’s unfair of me to say I know you, when I so clearly don’t.”

“Hey, hey, no. I know that’s not what you were saying. I just wanted to show you that I’m not perfect and I have my fair share of critics. Doesn’t mean I’m any less worthy of being treated well. Same goes for you. That was what I was trying to show you.” He wrapped you in his arms and you sighed content to rest your head on his chest and be engulfed by him.

“I want you to believe me when I say you’re an angel,” he kissed the top of your head. “And stunning,” he continued, kissing you again. “And sexy…” he trailed off, stroking your hair. You giggled as you nuzzled into his chest.

-

The two of you spent the rest of your day together, cuddled on the couch talking and flicking through the various streaming services David had, never able to settle on anything. For dinner, you decided on Chinese takeout and you ate it on the couch.

After you both were satisfied, you leaned into Harry’s side and he extended an arm around your shoulder. You placed one of your arms over his stomach and circularly rubbed him over his butterfly tattoo. You also threw one leg over his lap so your entire body was pressed against his. Harry liked the feel of your body on his, so he adjusted his arm to pull you flush against him.

“Wanna watch a movie?” You asked. Harry nodded. “Ideas?” He laughed before saying, “Earlier when we were singing Time of the Season, made me feel like I was in a musical.” You echoed his laughter as you looked up at him from your spot on his chest. “Mamma Mia?” You suggested. “Love that one.” “It’s probably on one of these apps?” You scrowled through until you found it for free and flicked it on.

The two of you settled again, pressing closer even if there was nowhere closer to go. It just felt good to feel Harry’s body against yours. Warm and strong, yet soft. You both sang softly to the songs in the beginning, but you loved hearing Harry’s voice so much that you stopped singing along by the third song. You laughed along to the antics of the characters, but you couldn’t help but stare at Harry when he would sing. He mostly kept his eyes on the screen, but would sometimes flicker them down to your face and smile dopily at you.

You fiddled with his necklace again when you would watch the scenes go by. You’d also comment on what was going on, you were never able to sit quietly during a movie or show, you liked to talk about it too much. Harry didn’t seem to mind, saying something if your comment warranted a response.

When ‘Our Last Summer’ started, Harry began to sing again and you motioned between Colin Firth on the screen and Harry. You said, “Harry and Harry.” He laughed while he continued to sing, the words slightly hiccuping due to his laughter. His soothing voice overpowered the three men, who weren’t actually that good of singers, despite him not trying to sing very loud at all. Then, you had to sing, “And your name is Harry!” when it came around. All Harry did was tap your nose and smile down at you. He wanted to tease you, but he liked how sweet you were being with him.

You continued to watch and about half way through the movie you shifted your spot so your face was in line with his. “You really are an amazing singer Harry, like to hear you right in my ear - it’s like magic.” Harry shook his head and grinned. “You’re too sweet to me, angel. Thought you said you weren’t going to give me special treatment.”

You pecked his cheek and bucked your head softly against his, similar to a cat. “It’s different now.” “I know,” he trailed off again. The pair of you turned your focus back to the screen, finishing the movie with some more side comments and kisses throughout.

When it ended, you yawned slightly, “I forgot how long it was.” Harry nodded his agreement. You began to sit up, but Harry pulled you back into him. A sigh left your mouth as you were able to explain how you wanted to upstairs and get ready for bed. “I just want to keep snuggling, angel, you’re so warm.”

“Harry, I need to go to bed.”

“Then sleep with me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Sleep with me in my room. You’re such a child, Y/N.”

“Says the one who won’t let me get up and go to sleep just because he wants to keep cuddling,” you gave him a shake of your head with squinted eyes.

“Look, I can guarantee you will enjoy it. I’m a very gentle man in my sleep.”

You threw your head back, still in slight disbelief of the situation you currently found yourself in. Cooped up in a house with Harry and no one else - besides the dog - the end nowhere in sight, since the news kept telling you how dire the situation was, and him constantly flirting with you. Not to mention the casual kissing that always seemed like it was on the verge of going somewhere else. You had no idea what sleeping in the same bed as him might bring. Sure, you didn’t know each other all too well, but look at him, he was gorgeous and if he wanted you, you were definitely not opposed to giving yourself to him.

You blew the air out of your nose and looked back at him. “Fine,” Harry lit up at your words, “But, you have to go let me brush my teeth and change.”

“I can agree to those terms.”

Then the two of you set off upstairs, Harry practically dragging you by the arm. But the smile never left your face. Checkers had gone to bed hours ago in the den, he preferred to sleep downstairs.

Once you were ready, you headed down the hall to Harry’s room. You admittedly had done a bit more than just change and brush your teeth - full skin care, reapplication of deodorant and some lotion, you didn’t want to smell gross when you were sleeping in the same bed as him.

He’d left the door slightly ajar, but you still decided it was polite to knock. “Come in,” he called, he was already in bed. You stepped into the room in some sleep shorts and a shirt that ended below the shorts, meaning you appeared to be only in the shirt. The room was dimly lit and you scurried to the bed. Harry sat up and dangled his legs off the bed when you came over. You stood in between his legs as he looked at you, running his hand over your face. You loved when he touched you, even in the simplest of ways.

“C’mere,” he pulled you into his lap and you straddled him daintily. Your thighs rested on his and you felt his hands move to cradle your round bottom. He shuffled the two of you back so he was resting against the bedpost. Your hands rested on his chest so that your fingertips fell into the dips of his collarbones.

He was only wearing boxers and you had to remind yourself to keep your eyes at his neck or above. The tiger on his left thigh was almost fully visible and you just wanted to trace it with your mouth. He kneaded your cheeks slightly and you jerked your body forward into him in response. He chuckled lowly.

“You’re very...responsive.”

“Harry,” you practically whimpered.

You knew where he was going and like you said, you wanted to go there with him, but you could feel your exhaustion wearing on you.

“Can we wait?” You leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m so tired and I know that it wouldn’t be enjoyable for either of us if I wasn’t fully into it.”

You took a hand and ran it through his locks, he sighed at your touch. He moved his hands up to your waist and rubbed up and down softly.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just look at you and I just want to kiss every inch.”

You took one leg from around his waist so that the two of you could settle in for sleep.

“Same here,” you laughed quietly.

He gave you one last searing kiss before you fell asleep.

“Goodnight, angel.”

-

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