#lots of dancing lots of kissing gay people and lots of being weird

[wurm-food]

not me getting caught at the function looking through pictures of Sanji 😭

[itsgwencayyye]

Been thinking a lot about the queer rep of the qsmp and like how much i appreciate characters saying full stuff about being only into women, or liking men, or being gay in general. Like I remember distinctly during the first movie night is when it first hit me. The milk carton animatic was playing and it ends with qcellbit and qroier kissing at the wedding. And like i remember physically looking away and preparing to see one or both of them be really uncomfortable or joke about it. But they were really happy about it instead and I felt like just weird relief from it. Cause like yeah mc smp's tend to be very homoromantic, but everyones tends to be very almost prudish about wanting those relationships to be shown or go anywhere or be drawn kissing and stuff like that( At least in previous smp fandoms I've been in). Then, although it was before that moment, cellbit saying "I want to be gay and happy" although funny, it's just so nice to hear the word and have it not be a joke or not danced around cause someone's uncomfortable with it. Like the character likes men and wants to be gay and happy, simple as that. Then you have q!bagi saying that she's only interested in women, and liking melissa, but not roier, even though they're the same person. Then there's q!fit who told Ramon "I'd prefer another dad for you" and just how much knowing his backstory that being canonically a gay man adds to his characterization(i could write like a 5 page paper on that alone). And on top of it all it's the language and seriousness of all the relationships as well. Foolish and Vegetta were calling each other boyfriends, and 'my love', people go on dates and talk about what they want out of their relationship and how they're feeling about it, and like it's even normal for a lot of the couples to normalize implying or just having straight up sex (thanks for the trauma slimeriana and maxpierre/lh). Like I know I'm rambling, but, it genuinely means so much to like have the queer romance be explicitly queer and also more than just a joke. Like in ways I didn't realize at first, but it's kinda fucking awesome.

[leuchtstabrebell]

just saw the Jesus Christ Superstar production in Nuremberg with a friend and thought i'd share some of my observations because this was WILD

details under the cut because i have a lot to say but this might be one of the queerest and boldest productions of JSC i have ever seen. the pope is herodes, nuns are participating in orgies, Mary is a mother, the catholic church is critizised every step of the way, hirarchies and power structures are questioned, and Judas wears a skirt. There are neon crosses and halos and a lot of blood, and so much thought and love put into this. The production value is very good as well. The cast is very young, especially the apostels and Judas and Jesus who are all in their early to mid-twenties, and the vibes are simply amazing.

This production is set in modern day rome and the vatican. jesus and the apostels are queer leftists activists trying to reform/act against the catholic church. like, this is the central element of this production.

(text on these signs reads, from l. to r.: No mandatory celibacy, God is a woman, Maria 2.0, #outinchurch, renewal now, the head of the fish is rotten. The banner reads "God is the love")

Many of these signs are references to reform movements inside the church and discussions around abuse of all kind in the catholic church, as well as demands for a more inclusive christianity (and society).

Jesus officates a wedding between two women apostels and everything is very gay. there are several rainbow flags involved. jesus is draped in a giant version of the flag at one point.

that being said, it is made pretty explicit that mary and jesus have some kind of relationship thing goin on??? They also sometimes seem removed from the rest of the group who have major found family vibes. they go on picnis and protests together, they care for each other, they dance, they sing, they cuddle. there was so much going on, I probably missed a lot of interactions between the apostels. Judas was very involved in the group, more than mary or jesus even, and judas and simon had a very cute friendship (they even play-fought in the beginning). They all hugged and kissed each other a lot as well. (Fun fact: many of the apostels are still in actors school and they did a cooperation with the staatstheater nuremberg which offered them the chance to participate in such a big production)

Now my thoughts on the individual characters:

Mary: sadly, my least favourite character in this production. i didn't really vibe with the actress, although she was great vocally. She rarely interacted with the apostels and kept mostly to herself and the apartment she shared with jesus and her child (I don't like the decision to have them live together almost like a nuclear family). it also did not help that she was noticeable older than the rest of the group and her costume wasn't great either. i loved her kid though, she was really cute (apparently, the gender of the kid changes depending on the child actor that day, here it was a girl). The child also connects the group, there were some cute found family vibes (although they could have done so much more with this ahhh). there are also several moments where the child symbolizes a brighter future to come, and hope, and innocence. she was such a cutie!!!!

This Jesus is a weirdo. Just a weird guy. Kinda Enjolras vibes, kinda angelic, kinda high as a kite beliefs in magic, depressed queer vibes. He would sometimes do weird motions with his hands to summon his powers to heal people????? his outfit was a statement as well.

I liked the acting, although the interpretation is one i had not seen before. The singing was pretty good, although the actors voice was a bit weak sometimes and he often had difficulty with belting higher notes. the actor has a very very soft voice in general??? it kinda contributed to the vibes of this jesus though and worked fine

I didn't like that they actually showed him being able to heal people, I like it more when it stays ambigious if he can actually do wonders/if he is actually the son of god. Interestingly, at the same time this Jesus felt very deserted by God to me? Gethsemane was very intense but also so absolutely defeated. it did not feel like a conversation with god but more pure desperation screamed into a void... This Jesus was really broken :( Also, the torture and whipping (which happens in the vatican???? kinda illegally???) was absolutely brutal and very bloody and he was sobbing in fetal position at several points of this production. also shaking like a little deer. in the last scenes, they filmed close-ups of his tortured face with a camera live and projected it on the large background screen which was very horrifiying and genius, especially during superstar. poor guy. he seemed very sad and burdened a lot of the time

Judas: There he is!!! My boi!!!! He was my absolute fave. The acting and singing was amazing, one of my fav interpretations of this character. The costume choices for him were amazing ( I mean look at him in that skirt and these boots) and this production chose to portray him in a very sympathetic light. He is the soul of the group in this production, while Jesus is the brain and Simon is the heart. (Peter is the bedrock, and Mary and her kid are honey-grease holding them together)

I mean, look at him!!! This judas cares so much, he contains multitudes. He is clearly loved by the people around and loves them back fiercely. He hugged people a lot and was very physical in general and the actor had so much charisma!!! In this version, Jesus and Judas also kind of seemed like two sides of the same coin, which I really liked. While Jesus is kind of otherworldy, charismatic, calm, and enigmatic, Judas is much more hands-on, real, passionate and energetic.

This Judas (like the whole production really) was very angry but he had every right to. In this production it also seemed like his anger at Mary and Jesus being with her was less about Mary (taking out some of the misogyny, luckily) and more about jesus retreating to something that could be perceived as a bourgouise lifestyle (my interpretation, at least). This judas seemed very queer but then again, most apostels in this production seemed to be queer. (The betrayal kiss was very passionate, btw)

Oh, and the cardinals waterboarded Judas with holy water in a church on wooden benches they put together??? And they also threatened and hurt him several other times??? I'm not sure what to feel about this because this makes the betrayal very very cooerced and that might flatten the character but it adds so many new layers as well. They also just push suitcase full of money on his arms and leave him there clutching the thing and sobbing??

Judas death ripped my heart out, it was so raw and cruel and also put emphasis on the cruelty of the catholic church and an uncaring or even cruel god?

and then he absolutely slayed in superstar. all the background dancers were the apostels (which was a deliberate choice because they had a huge cast they could have used for this), including Mary and they all had neon halos?? Judas descended from the ceiling. the staging was kinda similar to the 2012 revival with Judas as a show-caster and entertainer. there was golden glitter falling from the ceiling.

the whole production seemed very angry at institutionalized christianity and God himself but also full of hope and love, and superstar really examplified that.

Herode is the pope. Just straight up the pope. At first I was a bit underwhelmed because the set was very minimal bit then they revealed the pope and started their amazing choreography and I really loved that! just a good solid portrayal, very sexual as well. (this production was very much about hypocricy and not about condemming lust, the opposite really. this production is pretty sex-positive) 8/10

Caiaphas and Annas were pretty solid, like all the other high priests they were cardinals. I thought the actors did a good job although would have liked a deeper base for Caiaphas and a higher tenor for Annas. I thought it was interesting how often the priests/cardinals crossed themselves and blessed people and did christian gestures, especially during "This Jesus must die". They were also pretty violent both towards the apostels and towards jesus and judas.

Peter was really giving dark academia vibes except a bit more boring. I thought it was pretty funny that it was easy to tell that he was Peter just from the costume alone. he had a nice, warm voice and I liked the acting choices - he was very soft and calm, except for when he went absolutely wild on the SWAT team coming to arrest Jesus and broke a bottle to use a shard to cut of the ear (i suppose) of one of them. iconic. 8/10

Simon: what an icon! at one point, he carries petrol and a lighter around to fucking burn the whole thing to the ground. he is passionate and kind and ready to punch someone at any time. his acting and singing were really really good. At the last supper, Simon sucker punches Judas in the face and calls him a "fucking traitor" before shakily ending the song on his guitar to try and comfort the other apostels because their whole world just fell apart. I really love this Simon

Pilate: He had such a great voice and presence, and carried himself with a lot of gravitas. Pilates dream was very stripped down but it worked because of the actor. He seemed really desillusioned and kind but ultimately deafeated, conforming to the will of people around him (lower clergy and devout catholics in this version) (That reminds me, the ouverture was accompanied by various clergy making out in the vatican with each other while headlines about scandals in the church were projected in the background.

There are probably a lot of things I forgot to mention, and there were also some things I did not like about this production but overall, I am really really impressed and just happy that I got to see it live.

You can still see the production too btw, at least if you can make it to Nuremberg :)

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so, there is a thing twitter does and you sometimes see it here, when people are professing that a certain block man relationship is platonic, and/or that anything else is boundary breaking. The stance is that you love the platonic relationship so much, and anything else is "weird". So you're defending from the weirdos.

And the thing is, I am not intending to say that you personally have to be comfortable with romantic or sexual relationships when it comes to the block men. If you go "y'know this is not for me", that is 100% fair. That's why I do think that appropriate tags are so important, so that you can curate your space. However. This specific interaction has been sitting in my head for days.

First of all like slimarina has repeatedly rped gay sex on stream, artists drawing them kissing should not be getting death threats on twitter. Second of all— why is it weird. Why are you saying specifically that a relationship between two men is weird or bad or unclear inappropriate? Do you know what you sound like when you say that?

Cause it isn't just "keep the nsfw away from the minors", which is fair and based. Tag that shit. People also acted like this with beeduo when all we were talking about was handholding and kissing, which a) they were making jokes about lap dances on stream, I don't think a kiss is too far, b) handholding your beloved is a behaviour that shows up in humanity in *middle school*. Like this was the type of romance that would show up in disney movies, and people would be like "I am protecting the streamers from the weirdos" by saying that this is abhorent and you're a degenerate if you think about it!

Cause the thing is, when you are saying that queer romance is somehow inappropriate for minors, or saying that a "gay couple" is incompatible with the concept of nsfw without being weird, this is indistinguishable from homophobia. It is literally a homophobic talking point, that gay romance is inherently sexual and inappropriate, and that gay sex is inherently weird and bad. This is a thing politicians are using to push regressive political agendas.

A lot of people are not comfortable with nsfw and that is fine, but when you are making broad statements about sex and romance In General, you start to fall into some traps where like, literally I have heard these talking points from evangelical christians telling me that sex would make me inherently unclean and broken. I am begging people to draw a distinction between "i don't want to see that" and "all of that is bad/weird/inappropriate/should never be talked about in public".

Uncomfortable with slimarina nsfw? Fine. I don't necessarily want to see slime physics sex either. Saying that all engagement with nsfw between two adults who are enthustically consenting and having fun with it and specifically asking for tiktok edits of the sex scenes but happen to be guys is weird and needs to be defended against? FOLKS. You literally sound like a conservative politician.

Like something like 98% of the population is sexually attracted to other people, at a low estimate. And that is FINE. That is how humanity works. We have social rules about how to navigate that, but it's not inherently weird or dirty or inappropriate to be attracted to people, or to think or talk about sex, or to have sex! Average age of having sex for the first time in north america is 16! People are having sex and that's FINE. I'm not but like, sure I'll read stories that include that as an element, because I'm an adult and it's part of the human experience. I also read stories that don't have sex. Neither is morally superior or less weird than the other just by virtue of if there's sex in it or not.

So like, man. We have GOT to stop assigning anything sexual as bad and wrong. It's just a thing that adults do.

[aromantic-enjolras]

This is a Drink With Me gift for @gay-rad-desert! You asked for Courfeyrac and Marius, and. Well. This turned out a little heavier than I was expecting it to go, but I hope you can enjoy it anyway! I love these boys, and I was happy to do something for them <3

Marius is a good Christian boy. He is 20 year old virgin, still does altar boy duties, helps at his local church every Sunday. One day, when he's playing waiter at a church event, a beautiful young man (everyone notices when a man is beautiful, right??) comes sauntering by and starts flirting outrageously.

Courfeyrac, who is a rogue and a bit of a fuckboy, was walking around with some friends when he spotted a cute boy at a church event, and decided it would be very fun to try and get a fling out of this. If it turns out badly, Bahorel is in the nearest bar, and they are definitely enough to rescue him should the boy turn out to be a homophobic straight dude.

But then, instead of either responding to his flirting or getting pissed off and defensive, the cute boy looks at him with scared eyes and says "I'm not- I don't- I don't do that" in a voice so unconvincing that Courf immediately changes directions. This boy doesn't need a fuck. He needs a friend.

Marius is very relieved when the pretty boy seems to back off. "Okay. You don't do that. Do you do friends? Because I'd love to have one of those," he says, and it should have felt condescending, but he has such a disarming smile that Marius can't do anything but say "I guess I can do that, yes."

They don't hang out that much at first: Courfeyrac swings by a few church events, being friendly (but not overly friendly) and charming, and Marius enjoys his company a lot, but he also conspicuously never attends any masses, and people are starting to talk...

So he asks Courf if he would be up for coffee, and that's how they end up going out more and more together. Nothing big, nothing flashy, always public places, but it's just the two of them, and it feels so nice??

Courfeyrac is aware that he is on very shaky ground. He likes Marius now, and he wants to push him into being more comfortable with being gay, but he knows a false step and Marius will bolt. So he never hides the fact that he likes boys, but he only does it in very casual ways: never draws attention to it, lets Marius ignore it for as long as he needs to.

When Marius starts asking tentative follow-up questions, he takes his chance. "My friends and I have a queer space. Do you want to come by? No pressure, we can go at a weird hour, just have a coffee, talk to a few people. See for yourself."

Marius says yes, and that's how they end up going to the Musain, collectively-owned, alternative queer bar/café extraordinaire, at 4pm on a Thursday.

Everything seems to be going well, until Marius starts getting heated about God, and he makes a little speech of his own. "What is better than being loved by God?" he asks. "To be free." answers Combeferre.

And look, he is terrified of Combeferre, but he also can't help but admire the little he saw from the man, and he doesn't want to back down. Something draws him to these people, to that place, and if he can only convince them, if he can help bring them back to the light.... It can't be a sin, now, can it?

Slowly, very very slowly, he starts loosening up. He gets more relaxed, he enjoys himself, and where Courf made him comfortable with the idea of being around gays by letting him get passively used to it, these people challenge him, questioning his beliefs to his face.

It all comes to a head when he slips out of his house on a Saturday night. Courf is performing at the Musain for a drag show, and he has promised he will be there to cheer him on! And he does, and Courf is wonderful, and he has had a few drinks, and when a boy asks him to dance he is just high enough on the magic of the evening (and Courf's enthusiastic thumbs-up) that he goes for it. And then the boy kisses him.

And he can feel the panic grow in his throat, because a boy is kissing him, and he likes it. He likes it way more than he ever liked kissing Cosette, who he dated for years, who was pretty and funny and he thought he was going to marry someday. And this kiss, from a random man he doesn't even know, in a gay bar, feels so much better.

Courfeyrac shoos the man away, also in a panic, because he can see Marius' thousand yard stare from the other end of the bar. But it's too late: all Marius wants is to go home.

And he tries to rationalize it: maybe Courf just rubbed off on him. Maybe all this talk of gay people has influenced him. Maybe if he stops talking to all of them, if he doesn't think about it, the feelings will go away. But then he goes back to the church, to his old friends, and he realizes talking to them is not comforting anymore. He can't tell them anything that's bothering him. And now that he knows what it feels like, the idea of kissing men doesn't seem to go away: it only seems to grow stronger.

At last he ends up calling Courf, asking him to come over while his grandfather is away, and unloads everything on him. "I can't do this, Courf. I can't. You can be- you can be brave, and be you, and have it all, but I can't. I can't be- gay".

And Courf's heart is breaking, but what can he do? So he holds his friend, and comforts him, and tells him he is loved and worthy and that he's done nothing wrong; and that if push comes to shove, his door will always be open. "For a day, for a month, for a year. Anything you need. I promise."

And so, when Marius appears at his doorstep, one duffel bag on his shoulder and one suitcase dragging behind him, and says "I have come to sleep with you", he doesn't need to ask. He just smiles a sad smile, drags Marius into a hug, and lets him in. Into his life, and into his heart. Forever.

@drinkwithme-exchange

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Multiple Thrupples are Forming

June 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - Emotional blackmail from the ex notwithstanding, I guess it’s Pat’s turn to break hearts. I have to say Up was really well cast in this part - extremely believable. Well done all around. Jeng is so smitten, so awkward, so cautious, yet so sharp when it comes to a seme confrontations. I LOVE how sensitive Jeng is to the fact that he has a one-sided crush but also deluded by how much he wants the fantasy of the relationship. The agonizing roller coaster we watch him go through in this ep did a lot of work to elevate and expand his character. (Oh hi Green!) Poor Pat: thinks he’s teasing his straight boss, is actually slow dancing with future husband. Happens to the best of us. 

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - Don’t kiss someone else. Just argh. Dumb plot divice. I expected better of you LP. Everyone is so overdramatic and overreacting. I wonder if (in addition to all of the other tropes this narrative is scrutinizing) it’s examining bisexual identity through Pat + his ex? Like, this episode is actually about trusting the bisexual to choose his gay lover when he has the so called “option of being normal.” That soulmate is an allegory for gayness & identity & choice (and whether we even have a choice in who we love and are attracted to) and the interplay all of this has with one's own perception of self and other's perception of you… Or am I giving it too much credit? Meanwhile... l flipping adore the love triangle twist, and really wonder if they’re gonna have the guts to take this aspect to its inevitable triangular conclusion. Such a good show. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 10? - Screw all y’all, I’m eloping with Pair & Max. We forming a thrupple and pretending Jittirain doesn’t exist. Trash watch here. 

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - I love the high school boys so much it’s scary: flirting, biting, frankness, roughhousing + lap sitting! Also messy high school gay triangle. Gah. All of this for little-old me?! I was mad every time we jumped forward in time (to the adults) or whatever the hell is going on. Thank goodness this is only 6 eps. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

 Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS EVERYTHING. SHUT UP I AM FERRIL FOR THE BEAUTIFUL CITY BOY & HIS YOUNG FARMER. Come on. Korea. Have mercy? Plus some language play? Slayed. Right... the episode; This show reminds me so much of a Korean style Restart After Come Back Home. I’m not even slightly mad about it. It’s the BL I didn’t even know to ask for. Soap opera tumble and baby in hospital is SUCH a princess moment and I am living for it. Although the reversal is even cuter, princess turns out to be a caring tsundere Dom. And then obligatory water-hose frolicking! Oh, stop, you. (Allegory much? i being to think hose spraying is just another way of BL saying... well... hose spraying) AND “there is only one bed but they slept together on the floor together anyway”. These boys are hitting all my favorite tropes. BL please never lose your sense of childish wonder. And... the hose spraying is nice too.  

Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Based on a NSFW yaoi, this is a reunion romance that takes place in an office. Look, this is a weird little 2nd chance at love that reminds me a bit of Our Dating Sim. But it’s more traditional yaoi office romance with evil boss and inter-departmental politics. The leads are cute childhood (almost) sweethearts and I adore it unreasonably already. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 6 of 12 - Vertical video prod is stupid. I’m sorry young people. Stop it. BUT the cuddling is cute. Christ BV can kiss. Is there anyone he doesn’t have amazing chemistry with? Oh the sunshade trope I haven’t seen that one in forever. Also clearly his character has a type, and that type = ultra-bitch. 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 2 of 6 - It’s fine. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Oh dear. Baby is hurt and rejected. Faen fatal knows her competition is a boy, she also knows what jealousy looks like. But this baby has his own boy. This is all feeling rather Thai BL. There’s even an ep 11 of DOOM coming up next.

It’s Airing But ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering but the first one did drop.

Ever After (Pinoy ????) - I got nothing.

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

Boys Love Omegaverse (Japan ????) - honestly tho? Who tf cares? You’ll still tell me if you find it, because inquiring minds... Irony of this airing at the same time as Takumi-kun. Full circle much, Japan?

Ended This Week

Tin Tem Jai special showed up on Gaga as ep 11 & 12 under the original show. (Indebted to spies reporting in.) Also on YouTube. What was that I just watched? Did I watch something? Was there anything? I suppose the bathtub scene was cute. Subs are bonkers. Seriously. Do. Not. Bother.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan) - pay attention TTJ THIS is how you do a special. But I’m gonna do a series review, here ya go: I was always gonna love the show if they stuck to the manga (which is very dear to my heart). And they did, paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do (like Restart After Come Back Home), it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL. 9/10

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting this Week

6/22 About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy movie from 2022 on Prime) - A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student.

6/24 Tie The Knot AKA Under the Same Sky (Pinoy movie on Prime) Trailer - I guess Prime is coming for our Pinoy BL? From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), announced for 2022 based on a true story, Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never had a chance to fall in love until he meets Shao, a groom to be.

6/24 Why You (Khmer BL ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series or where it will air.

6/25 Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 5 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I will not watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? Never again with them.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Step by Step knocked it outta the park this week. 

Stupid Genius (speaking for all BL) 

No baby. Pretty much every human on the planet would react that way. (Love Tractor) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? IVE’s I Am 

[steddieficfind]

Hi! I was literally just reading a fic on the little pop-up safari window you get when you click on a link on tumblr and then my phone died and I lost the fic and arghhhhhhh

Basically I saw a post on my dash earlier today that was someone reccing an author and it linked several of their works with a brief description and the ao3 summary, with a link to the fic on ao3. It was complete and it had 3 chapters but I don’t remember anything else from the ao3 info box.

The plot is that Robin wants to go to a gay bar so she can kiss a girl (or maybe Eddie suggests it?) and Eddie’s taking her (he’s out to Steve but that doesn’t happen in the fic) but she’s really nervous so she asks Steve to come along and he agrees. Eddie gives him this whole talk about how there are going to be gay people at the gay bar and Steve can’t freak out if they’re being gay or if guys try to flirt with him, which kind of insults Steve, kind of makes him feel really weird about the potential of getting gay flirted with, and kind of makes him super determined to show that he’s a Good Ally. Eddie helps Steve get ready and when they get to the bar Eddie pretends to be Steve’s boyfriend to stop guys from hitting on him. A drag queen tells Steve that Eddie’s in love with him and Steve freaks out about it and talks to Robin, who points out that maybe he should just be gay for Eddie. At first Steve is like No Way I’m Straight but then he thinks about it a bit more and decides to test it (his possible bisexuality) out by taking Eddie back to the bar to see if he (Steve) likes the fake boyfriend thing, which Robin thinks is an awful idea. In the meantime Eddie watches a basketball game with Steve and Steve goes to a hellfire meeting. They go to the bar and Steve is like Yup I’m For Sure Crushing On Eddie and I don’t remember what happens next because that’s about where I lost the fic.

Some details I remember are as follows: the drag queen is named Connie and she has a bet going with Steve about the basketball game and she promises to buy him a round of drinks in after the game airs in three weeks which is Steve’s excuse for bringing Eddie back, Steve bumps into one person on his way to the bar and the guy starts flirting with him/asking him to dance and that one guy is all it takes for Eddie to swoop in like Nope I’m Your Boyfriend Now, the author refers to the tops that Steve and Eddie wear as “singlets” (which was really confusing to me at first as I could only picture the wrestling leotards until I turned to google), Eddie puts makeup on Steve and it’s black and gold, Eddie give Steve a sword necklace and a spiky bracelet, neither of them return each others clothes because they liiiiiiiiiike each other, at one point eddie says that Robin has experienced being part of a “lesbian sandwich” (a term that Steve doesn’t know) and points out that she has red lipstick on her face

Sorry that’s a lot of details but I was reading the fic literally just a few hours ago before my frantic search to find it again

Thank you guys so much you’re truly doing god’s work o7

Request 904! Send us an ask if you recognize this fic!

[blitzosicedcoffee]

Might Regret this and delete it later but answering a question about my most traumatic experience made me want to list all the fucked up and just...weird as fuck things that have happened to me. Like I can't sleep til I do this. Maybe it'll be cathartic I dunno:

Tw: Sexual assault, all other assault?

-Age 3 force fed Tabasco

-Age 2 Thrown in pool by Stepdad

-Age 4-6 locked in room when parents screaming at one another

-Age 6 or 7 Witnessed mom throw a hairdryer at stepdad because he verbally abused her.

-Age 5 Fell off a table from dancing and broke my leg, my dad didn't tell my mom.

-Age 2-7 Forced to stay at the table (sometimes falling asleep) cause I couldn't finish my food.

-Age 7 Forced to eat chicken and dumplings and immediately threw it up (still can't eat It today)

-Age 7 Got laughed at by my whole elementary school class because we had to say our times tables in front of the class and I couldn't get past 5's. Sobbed in front of them all.

-Age 8 Moved across the country to a whole new state.

-Age 8 lived with a family friend for a year who had five other kids (add on myself and my three siblings) so there was not quiet ever for that whole year.

-Age 9 Cried in front of *that* class about math and being the new kid.

-Age 9 Got pressured by neighborhood kids into stealing from 7/11.

-Age 10 Got made fun of for having certain friends

-Age 11 Got made fun of in fifth grade for still playing pretend.

-Age 11, Almost lost friends cause I tried to convince them I was a real witch (damn you halloweentown and your influence).

-Age 12-14 Pervy PE teacher that made the girls all do squats and the boys do jumping jacks. Never the other way around.

-Age 13 A middle school science teacher is Arrested for child pornography.

-Age 13 Had a boy tell me that kissing me made him realize he was gay.

-Age 13: Become my science teachers' TA (different teacher than the one above). Mostly spend the time watching cash cab and Bill Nye in his room.

-Age 13 I received my first tiny acer laptop and start playing Webkinz online, club penguin, and Wizard 101. (Also looking for dates on there but I don't tell people that).

-Age 14 Got my first flip phone, add my friends' contacts for text. We don't have Internet yet.

-Age 14 Start playing around on Omegle. Where kids SHOULD NOT BE.

-Age 14 Met one of my best friends on Wizard 101 and cheated my bedtime and played more when I really should have been sleeping.

-Age 14 Read Twilight, got obsessed. Started my first babysitting gigs. Overpriced myself but they paid it so.

-Age 14 Best friend in person at the time was a really bad influence and decided to pretend she was possessed and drown me in a pool. I begged her to stop and she pretended that the demon in her left.

Okay it's about to escalate:

-Age 15 Tried out for my first play, it was hairspray. I wanted to be one of the leads. I could sing but I couldn't dance. I ended up a techy.

-Age 15 Had my first girl/girl relationship And I kiss her on Halloween and I like it and she says she likes it too. But then she has to break up with me cause she's Mormon and doesn't want to leave her church.

- Age 15 Gets into an online relationship with two British guys from Omegle who are definitely adults. Sent them underage nudes cause I didn't know better.

-Age 16 Said British guys decided to blackmail me with my nudes and threatened to post them online if I stopped meeting with them over cam. (I was regularly doing shit over cam with them. It was gross). Told my mom, she had no idea what to do. She just took away my phone and laptop for a while which??? Didn't do anything to help???

-Age 16 Started going out with my first in person boyfriend after we sang owl City at the same time and fell on top of one another on the theater stairs. LMAO it was so cringy.

-Age 16 Six months later I broke up with him over text by trying to scare him away by telling him I thought I was a fallen angel so he'd think I was crazy. (He was ignoring me a lot so I was done) Then I gaslit his friends and said he broke up with me. (I don't act like this anymore, teen me was WILD).

-Age 16 Pretended I was in a romance bdsm novel and handcuffed myself to my own dresser and had to make an excuse for my parents not to come in, so they wouldn't see me.

-Age 17 Met my current partner of 10 years over Tumblr, we started talking over messenger then skyping every day.

-Age 17 Parents kept fighting and stressing out younger siblings so I had to take them all to the park to get them out of the house.

-Age 17 Mom kept telling me that my partner over Skype was a 56 yr old man. (He looked 19 to me).

-Age 17 I finally got my own room.

-Age 17 I ended up trapped in my walk in closet while naked because there was a brown recluse in a power stance. I stayed in the closet for an hour until it moved.

-Age 18 We had to move to a house where we didn't have enough rooms for everyone so I was put into a makeshift room in the dining room where I had no privacy.

-Age 18 My partner visited for the first time.

That's where I'll stop. Holy hell. It feels good to go through it all. I'm sure there's more. But this is just some of the weird things that have happened over my childhood and teenhood lol. Not to mention everything that's happened in my adulthood. That'd be a whole novel. Maybe this is why I follow Loki because I've been through so much chaos 🤔

[merv606]

“Tanner is gay”

Tanner was in a relationship with a woman for like 6 years prior to Mary. 😭😭 And she was dating a guy as well for like 5 years until they broke up around 2020/2021 (that’s my guest). Also I’m pretty sure Mary herself has aluded to the fact she’d would date anyone not matter the genre. Like, some of ur anons are trying so hard to deny bisexuality or any other sexuality (pan) just based on vibes and that’s weird.

This fandom is going to continuously deny this relationship that’s been as obvious as ever until they themselves say it from their own month. Like, they went vacationing alone to greece last summer and have been caught making out by multiple people before, this isn’t even “speculation” lmao they just don’t want to straight up say it which is totally their choice.

And Peyton too let it slip on the podcast by alluding that Mary had to watch her kiss her boyfriend (as in Robby aka Tanner). Why people deny this so hard is beyond me and that’s because they want or expect people to act a certain way to be considered straight or gay.

Yeah and like I said I doubt it was for PR reasons or she was his beard as they were very private (which defeats the purpose) and I doubt, even if he was gay, it would take that long to realize and accept - he seems to just be comfortable doing his own thing TBH.

If anything I would think he swings both ways or it could be an attracted to the person/individual or attraction from an emotional connection.

Once again, not for me to speculate on.

Parts of Tumblr sometimes has this weird view on straight people TBH - like only queer people play with gender and fashion - it’s bizarre how some parts of Tumblr don’t realize that a lot of straight people do not have these rigid roles they adhere to all the time, especially with clothes and how they act 🤷‍♀️

Yes, I think I referenced the podcast in one of the asks 🤔

Also, Tanner was there even though he wasn’t being interviewed.

It’s very much - where Mary is you’ll find Tanner vibes lol

Yes vacationing in Greece, him buzzing around helping with her birthday and come on, that video and stills of them dancing at it?!!!

They have attended various weddings together, they hang out with each other’s families, Mary with Tanner’s cousin/nephew etc etc and they are always together! Rarely seen with other friends.

Some things are very much what friends do while some are not - but 💯 they aren’t just friends - all things considered.

And no man goes to Disneyland that much unless it’s to make his girlfriend happy lol

I mean, seems the dude wasn’t at Disney every other weekend until Mary.

Look I’m not here to speculate on their sexuality but, at the end of the day, people seem insistent that Tanner especially is rigidly one thing and it seems heavily based on how he dresses.

But, considering how often he throws the tongue between the fingers wellllll 😏

[hatosaur]

How exactly did you come to love TLOU? I have my own special interests that just happened upon me, so I want to know about how it was for others. also, any other games that you like?

you've asked the golden question so strap in because this is gonna be LONG:

i first got into tlou through part 2! admittedly i didn't play the og first. i did own it at the time because it seemed like one of those games you just gotta play (and i was right) and yknow ellie's gay and i dug that, but at that point i hadn't played it but knew the plot through a cinematic compilation video.

i was intrigued by part 2, specifically because of the teaser at e3 where ellie and dina dance and kiss. though i didn't have a BURNING desire to have the game, me being down for anything gay pretty much what sealed my fate. so i bought the game and played it on my older brother's ps4.

and MAN, was i obsessed pretty much immediately. looking back, it was a fever dream, just me playing the game from the moment i woke up to the moment i went to bed, nonstop...until i reached the point where ellie leaves and i stopped playing, completely distraught, and ended up watching the ending on youtube.

i was pissed, conflicted, legit fell into a deep depression after knowing how the game ends. after that point, because as we all know the shitstorm over the game was not pretty, i lingered on both sides of the fanbase for a while. because as someone who went in for the gay and had to witness the gay be destroyed, i was hurt -- but i realized after seeing anti-tlou2 people talk about their (weird and irrational) reasons for hating the game that i didn't hate the game, i was just that. hurt.

but the game is meant to hurt. there's a reason for the hurt.

and once i looked past the hurt that i felt, i analyzed hardcore, discussed with people (this is the nicest environment to do so), ate up every single detail discovered, replayed, and then i was making art, obsessively so, writing fanfiction, and now it's been 3 years and those fictional fuckers still live in my brain to this day.

and of course, i dove into the og! i remember playing the game while my online lectures (because covid lol) played in the background.

tlou is fully my biggest hyperfixation/special interest to date. i went into how but here's more of the reasons behind it:

i've talked about this a ton before but i love that though tlou has a reputation of being a dark game and people tend to read it as being about "the darkness of humanity", it's really not about that, but love and what people will do for it, as well as seeking and obtaining a purpose, even in the world's darkest conditions.

i love that it's about found family, that joel can't help but love ellie, because at the end of the day, he's not really supposed to be the heartless person he wants to pretend he is, but he's supposed to be a DAD. i love that ellie, despite never knowing the feeling of a parent, loves joel right back. i love that despite disliking him at first, she warms to him so quickly and she wears him down with her stupid jokes and her endearing weirdness.

i love that the themes of love persist through the second game even as it drags the franchise to darker places. that these are the lengths that ellie will go to not to get abby, but for joel. i love that part 2 says, "hey these bitches unhealthy" and that despite love being their motivation (abby for her dad, ellie & tommy for joel, dina for ellie, lev for his mother), it shouldn't be driving them to those ends!!!!

.....anyway for your second question, i'm picky about games but some recurring favs are apex legends, minecraft, breath of the wild, stardew valley, life is strange (watched the playthru only but loved the story sm), tell me why, and i just started horizon zero dawn! the way things are going, i think i'll like it a lot :)

[bard-llama]

ATLA WiP List: Shippy Fics

So, yesterday I did a list of all my unpublished gen fics and it came out to 73. Let's see how much bigger the list gets with unpublished shippy fics.

Zukaang Fics - non-smut

Our Love Become a Funeral Pyre - In his dreams, Zuko is someone else, someone who lives a life he much prefers. Someone who has a best friend who is an airbender named Aang. Someone who falls in love with Aang, even though Aang’s not real. How could he be? He’s a figment of Zuko’s imagination.

Gay Bar - outsider POVs of two weird kids who come to a gay bar in Ba Sing Se to hang out

Fluffy Zukaang at the Sun Warriors' Island - Zuko practices on the terrrace of the room the Sun Warriors gave them and Aang is enthralled.

“My heart feels like it’s dancing when I look at you.” - Zuko thinks there's something wrong with him. As he tells Aang about his symptoms, Aang wonders how the hell he's supposed to tell Zuko that he's maybe in love with Aang.

Fealty - now that Zuko is Fire Lord, Aang pulls him away from celebration to pledge himself to Zuko - but Zuko beats him to the punch

Pampering Zuko - Aang and Zuko ran into each other in Ba Sing Se and ended up dating. After a while, Aang managed to convince Zuko to take a holiday, so to speak, and come to a private retreat with him where they can be together without a time limit. Now he gets to lather Zuko with affectionate touches.

Treasure (sequel to Pearl) - when Zuko first took the Gaang diving, Aang discovered a black pearl. Now, he's decided how to give it to Zuko.

“I’m in love with your voice.” - Aang wakes up all tied up in the North Pole and ends up talking with Zuko. Zuko is baffled at how this is turning out. He's never just had a conversation with the Avatar before.

Blue Spirit x Avatar Aang - Aang and Zuko both know that people will be weird about them being together. So they hide it. But when a kid asks if Aang is dating the Blue Spirit during open audience, they have an idea - which ends up leading to the next open audience day, where everyone and their mother comforts Zuko that true love will out and that vigilante is no good anyway. Zuko is frustrated.

“We need to stop dancing around it. All it does is hurt us both!” - Aang dreams about his pursuer a lot more than is probably right. But it's just idle fantasizing, and as his enemy, Zuko is safer than Katara to dream about. But when he wakes up at the North Pole in Zuko's arms, he assumes that he's dreaming and kisses the Fire Nation Prince, who is shocked, but responds. Only turns out, it's not a dream and suddenly there's a fight and then he has to save the spirits. So even once Zuko is no longer his enemy, they avoid talking about it until they can't anymore.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. When I wake up, when I’m about to fall asleep…” - Zuko is haunted by Aang and doesn't know what to do about it. Aang has a few ideas.

Soulmate Potential - there are no preassigned soulmates. Anyone has the potential to be your soulmate, and if you happen to click with them, you can build that bond yourself. Your soulmate could be anyone - including your enemy.

Crystal Catacombs - okay admittedly, this was supposed to be the setup for Zuko's POV of same side sex, but so far, they haven't actually reached the same side.

Author Zuko: Blue Spirit/Avatar Aang - a new play comes out about the Blue Spirit and Avatar Aang. A new romantic play. Aang is not impressed. Zuko, meanwhile, is acting a little shifty.

Zuko writes about the Fire Lord and Avatar’s Bond Thru Time - Zuko writes a book/paper/whatever about the clear bond between the Fire Lord and the Avatar. He did not think to tell the Avatar that he was doing this.

Zukaang Fics - smut

Rope Burns - 2 times Aang was roughly burned by rope and one time he asks Zuko to tie him up

Shirtless Sparring - Aang and Zuko spar shirtlessly during training

Airbender Blow Jobs - airbender lung capacity makes for great blowjobs

Zuko blows Aang while Katara watches - inspired by this art, Katara walks in on Zuko and Aang and Zuko makes a show of it.

Aang Approaching Zuko Morning After - after running into Zuko at Pao's Teashop in Ba Sing Se and ending up spending time together, Aang returns to the teashop to see if he can have what he actually wants. Encountering Zuko's Uncle was not part of the plan.

Dreams/Nightmares - when Sokka recommends that Aang picture the bad guys in his nightmares not wearing any pants, his dream about Zuko attacking him takes an unexpected turn.

First Kiss/First Time - when Zuko kisses him out of nowhere, Aang panicks and runs away. Zuko assumes this means he ruined everything. It's left to Mai to force Aang to come back and make them actually talk.

Pao’s Teashop Office Sex - when Aang coming to Pao's teashop leads to unexpected sex, Zuko breaks into his boss' office to use his couch, just because.

Sexytimes – Voyeurism - upon request, Aang pins Zuko with earthbending and makes him watch what the thought of him watching does to Aang

PWP Genderbent Aang picks up Zuko without Zuko knowing - there's no logic to this, it's just what it says on the tin

Identity Porn - Aang doesn't know who the Blue Spirit is. That does not stop him from picking up the mysterious vigilante when they run into each other in Ba Sing Se. Zuko doesn't know what to think.

Other Ships

Zuko navigating 10 (billion) relationships - aka Zuko is involved with literally EVERYONE and they figure out how to share lol

Zutaraang - Aang gets all hot and bothered watching Katara and Zuko spar. They find this very concerning until they figure out why he's all flushed and flustered.

Zutaraang Lap Sex - Katara decides to make a move that lets them all have what they want - she can have Aang, Zuko can also have Aang, and Aang can have them both, like he clearly wants. Win-Win, even if she's not such a big fan of Zuko.

Aang loves his friends - eh, this might actually be gen, but kinda started out about Zukaang, and may go towards the whole Gaang together??? Idk

Katara and Aang decide to pursue Zuko - post-canon, Aang approaches Katara to talk about polyamory, because to the Air Nomads, him loving Zuko as well was no big deal, but to other nations, it could be. Katara needs some time to think about it.

Everyone is in love with Zuko: He catches a clue - Zuko confesses to his wife that he's in love with his friends - to which she responds "oh, you finally figured it out? Good job."

I Still Dream About You - Gaang/Zuko where for his 30th bday or so, they all get wasted. His memories of that night are a little iffy, but he definitely remembers Aang kissing him and the others watching him. He dreams about it a lot. Meanwhile, the rest of the Gaang misses him and looks fondly back on their memories.

Sparring for who gets to take Aang - Zuko and Katara take sparring very seriously. Aang doesn't get what the big deal it.

An Arrangement for World Peace - Toph and Zuko get married. For world peace. The Gaang is shocked.

Toko S3 Hookup - a series of encounters that start when Zuko accidentally walks in on Toph, who's swearing up a storm bc her earthbended dildo just broke. Zuko makes himself useful.

The Southern Waterbending Line - Zuko's maybe a little bit jealous of Katara and Aang getting married, but the important thing is that they know what they're getting into. Which leads to a conversation about bending genetics and what their kids could end up being - and a question of where Katara's waterbending came from.

Zuko is not in touch with his emotions - Mai and Ty Lee sit Zuko down and force him through some therapy to help him recognize that he's in love with his friends.

38 total! See, that's not so bad! I mean, in total total, that would be 73 + 38 = 111, which is.... kinda high, but at least it's a nice number!

[shytastemakerthing]

hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

[kazz-brekker]

wait tell me more of your thoughts on interview with the vampire (1994), i'm intrigued

Okay SO, me and my friends watched the Interview with the Vampire TV show (I persuaded them by being like "I hear it is extremely good and also gay and also vampires and also dramatic unhinged gothic romance" and so dragged them on a journey that involved a lot more fake blood and levitating sex than we originally thought it would) and to cope with the stress of final exams we then later watched the 1994 movie. I think it was definitely an … interesting experience to have watched the show first and then the movie rather than the other way around.

So, thoughts on the movie. The movie is incredibly not heterosexual and yet still, somehow, not gay enough. Louis and Lestat are basically a married couple raising a daughter but the movie can't quite seem to commit to making them canonically a couple even though there are, like, scenes of Lestat lying on top of Louis whispering to him about how great it is to be turned into a vampire. There is a scene where Louis and Armand have an entire conversation with their faces approximately half an inch away from each other, there is basically no other way to interpret their relationship than gay, and yet they DON'T KISS. It's absolutely maddening.

Another weird thing is how … compressed the movie feels? I'm pretty sure I would think this even if I hadn't seen the TV show first, it's just really hard to fit 100+ years of plot into a 2 hour movie. Louis is turned into a vampire so quickly in the movie that I have absolutely no sense of why on earth Lestat is so obsessed with this guy that he HAS to turn him into a vampire and live with him for eternity. The whole Louis-Lestat-Claudia household drama also unfolds wildly fast (there's like, one scene with Lestat and Claudia having drama and then she kills him). The vampire theater in Paris is pretty fun (all vampires are secretly theater kids, this is a simple fact of the world) but it only gets introduced in the second half of the movie. It felt like there was so much to fit in the story that things didn't have time to breathe.

Every single act of this movie ends with arson, which is kind of iconic and I do have to support that.

Louis owns slaves in the movie. This is extremely bad and awful. It is never remotely portrayed to be as evil as it is and the whole thing is basically forgotten as soon as he and Lestat leave the plantation. I support the slaves for burning down his house. Yvette should have gotten to stake him and set him on fire.

Louis in this movie is just … sad and kind of whiny and drinks blood from rats. He almost feels like a Nick Carroway sort of character where he is a very boring guy narrating a story full of people much more interesting than him, except those interesting people (Lestat, Claudia, and Armand) are all totally obsessed with him. One of my friends said that Louis is the most boring character in the movie but everyone acts like he is the most interesting, which is 100% correct. Brad Pitt you are nothing compared to Jacob Anderson.

Lestat is fun though! Not as good as Sam Reid (who could be!) but he is at least entertaining to watch. At one point he dances with a corpse.

There are fun 18th and 19th century outfits. The coats and dresses in this movie are pretty cool and according to one of my friends at least somewhat historically accurate.

Claudia's actress was very good! Apparently Kirsten Dunst was only 10 when she filmed this movie which is nuts, she honestly acted circles around everyone else and did a great job pretending to be an adult stick in a child's body.

The interviewer in this movie is basically a non-entity and I had sort of forgotten he existed until he came back at the end. No interrogation of the narrative going on here!

The ending of the movie is quite obviously a sequel hook for a movie of The Vampire Lestat that never got made but is still kind of fun.

End verdict: not a horribly, irredeemably bad movie, I had a somewhat entertaining time watching it and I don't regret doing so, but the TV show really is light-years away from it. I am now EXTREMELY hyped to see Louis and Claudia go to Paris in season 2.

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Just had a thirty min good-bye kiss with one of frisbee teammates 👀

It had been building for a while and then he finally asked me out after leiout two weeks ago. We got dinner last week, and then went to meow wolf a weird interactive art experience. He had picked me up so then he walked me to the door after and then well…..

We made out on my porch for awhile and then I finally offered to show him my house and then we made out in my living room for a good while before I finally said I had to go to bed.

Okay but also what do normal people think about when they kiss someone because y’all my mind fucking wanders. I think I’ve mostly kissed people I don’t know very well or when really drunk so I’m normally stressed about if they like me or like what will happen, but because I’ve known him for so long it was more comfy so my mind aimlessly wandered. I felt like a 12 year old in one of those cheesy ya books having their first kiss and wondering if they’re doing it right. Like is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Or am I doing this wrong somehow? Particularly because I’ve had so much musings on what even is my sexuality between straight, gay, asexual, and never really making any progress towards any one direction. Because it mostly feels like I like him but then I’m also thinking about how weird it is that people have noses or that I have to laundry tomorrow or weird meta feeling like a ya character (specifically a tomboy who was previously uninterested in boys) or thinking that it’s weird that I’m thinking this much or wondering how one transitions out of it.

But overall it feels like I like him and that’s probably good enough.

But then me and my inexperienced never had a relationship virgin self am also real nervous about like how this progresses from here. Because I like idk how any of this works but it feels like I should. And it feels like I should know what pace I want to go, but like I really don’t. I don’t really know where I want to put my lines or when I want to put them or how or like anything. And despite knowing for several years really all I know about his dating history is that he had his first kiss with his college girlfriend and that he hasn’t dated anyone seriously since I’ve known but has gone in like hinge dates ect.

And the problem with dating your friends is that it feels like there’s so much more at stake. Like he’s very much already a large part of main social circle and if things go sideways they will go real sideways. Like at one point half way thru making out I just got this giant pit in my stomach that I’m going to fuck this up and It’s going bad and it’s going to be me that makes it bad. But he is so nice and he is so fun but I’m just feeling on edge. But I think in a good way. A healthy mix between excited and nervous and a lot of anxious.

It is funny tho because I’m not sure I’dve ever ended up dating him off of an app. He can be a wee bit pretentious at times and that’s like my biggest dating app turn off 😂 but like because I know that it’s just in like a superficial way and that he’s actually a really good person and really fun to be around it doesn’t matter so much. (Although it is probably my biggest like reservation of dating him(outside of general dating anxiety that is) but like I also know how much he just goes with the flow and the way he sees everybody’s individual strengths and like respects other peoples opinions). He is also not a tall man. I think he says he’s five seven but he is only just barely tall than me. But he is taller and it’s not like it really matters anyone. But he’s fun and easy to talk to and it feels like our lives would mesh really well in terms of what we’d want to and how we’d like to live and how’d we’d have fun. And in terms of like between being nerdy and staying and reading and like going out dancing or shutting down every sweet action party we’ve been to together.

Okay I’ve rambled enough on my excited but nervous night. Goodnight

[ponyregrets]

okay watching hsm last night I couldn't help thinking that fantasy high uses the same "get the party together" setup of "everyone gets detention" and so obviously my brain went to WHO IS WHO and like honestly this doesn't work super well and I have two options for everyone and you WILL hear about them

Gorgug Thistlespring as Troy Bolton or Ryan Evans

Gorgug is obviously not as socially successful as Troy, but I think he works well as someone caught between two worlds who is also not necessarily the brightest. And let's be real, if Troy Bolton didn't know who his dad was, he'd probably ask a bunch of people just to check. They're both strong and athletic but have other interests they want to pursue, they don't want to let people down, and they longer than anyone expects to kiss the girl they're dating. As for Ryan, he and Gorgug would both struggle to read "go drama club!" and if (spoilers) Fig is Sharpay, obviously Gorgug is in her band.

Fig Faeth as Gabriella Montez or Sharpay Evans

I recognize these are both wild picks but tbh Fig does not slot easily into HSM in my opinion. Gabriella works for Fig for me because they both have the theme of reinventing themselves--Gabriella is at a new school, not wanting to be known as the freaky genius girl, and Fig is rebelling against her own good girl image. And if Gorgug is Troy, then Fig being the one to get him into music works. As for Sharpay, well, what is Sharpay Evans if not a bard who also wants to take barbarian classes?

Fabian Seacaster as Chad Danforth or Troy Bolton

Obviously Fabian is a jock, I think we can all agree on that. He makes sense to me as either Troy or Chad, depending on where your focus is. Chad has the iconic "I Don't Dance" sequence, which of course parallels "toxic masculinity is over, I dance now" for Fabian. I also think that Chad works a little better in terms of how Fabian presents himself in terms of bravado and confidence; Troy is much faster to accept that he can maybe like things other than sports than I think Fabian is. On the other hand, Troy, like Fabian, is The Ace, and has a bunch of weird daddy issues, so that's an argument that can easily be made.

Adaine Abernant as Taylor McKessie or Gabriella Montez

Taylor is probably the least sketched out of the main HSM characters, which is saying something. That being said, I would fully believe she rolls for panic attacks, and her main defining feature is being a big old nerd, so, here you go, Adaine. I think Adaine as Gabriella also makes a lot of sense, though--still a nerd, but also a transfer student who probably also rolls for panic attacks.

Riz Gukgak as Ryan Evans or Taylor McKessie

Riz was my biggest casting woe, and I don't think he fits super well into any of the HSM roles. Taylor is probably a better fit for him than Ryan, but neither is great IMO. Ryan is the HSM character who's most likely to be called "the ball," and he and Riz share a desire for friendship without a great idea of how to get it. Also I gather from AO3 that people ship Riz and Fabian, so that works for the "I Don't Dance" dynamic. Taylor, meanwhile, probably wants to be a private eye and definitely has business cards.

Kristen Applebees as Sharpay Evans or Chad Danforth

Kristen's zeal for the sun god and Sharpay's zeal for theater vibe for me, although obviously Kristen would be thrilled if her friends were as interested in Helio as Troy and Gabriella were in the musical. I also feel like the outwardly supportive and chill family Sharpay has (I love the Evanses tbh) probably contributes to her need to be the best, and she has similar "golden child" expectations. idk maybe this makes no sense to anyone but me but it makes a lot of sense to me. I hope Sharpay can grapple with herself and get to a better place as Kristen did. Meanwhile, Kristen and Chad are both struggling with being gay.

anyway this was my morning happy new year y'all

[henryclaremontdiaz]

faith.

What is faith to a god when they’re the one doing the worshiping? -- Ronan wonders what it means to be a god that believes in God. If there is a God when he's a god. Contains Greywaren spoilers read on ao3

What is faith to a god when they’re the one doing the worshiping?

Ronan had spent his whole life worshiping capital G God. And when he found out he was essentially a god himself, lowercase g, it made him wonder. 

Wonder if he wasted his time. 

If someone like him could be a god, what did that mean?

He was the least deserving of something like this, in his eyes. Why would he, as flawed and angry and moody as he was, be considered anything other than just a lowly human. 

When he found out what he was, what his parents had done to make him, he thought it was a mistake. While he had his times where he felt powerful, needed, above all, he knew deep down he always felt so… insecure. Incomplete. And what were those feelings to a god?

When it did set in, the way he never felt like he belonged made sense. He thought he felt that way for different reasons through his life: because he was a dreamer, because he was gay, because he was Catholic in a friend group of magic and nonbelivers, because he was more punk when he went to school with a bunch of trust fund frat boys. But now he knew, he knew he wasn’t of this world. 

He wasn’t exactly of the other world either. 

And after a while, he realized that was okay. 

He could be of both, of neither. He was just him, he was just Ronan. Greywaren. Lowercase g god.

But he goes back to the question of what was worship to him, now that he knew what he was. Was there still a Capital G God? 

Ronan found himself in the sanctuary of St. Agnes, in a random pew with his hands folded. He had worried it would feel weird now that he knew what he knew, being in a church, but it filled him with the same relief it always did. Going to church was alway something he actually enjoyed, rather than some of the other people he knew growing up that only went because they felt like they had to. It wasn’t making a show for him, it wasn’t paying lip service, it was something he truly believed in. The presence of God brought him peace, a sense of calm and belonging. 

He felt that feeling even now.

So here he was, a god worshiping God. Asking Him for guidance, begging for acceptance. And like every time before, He gave it to him. He decided that he could be a god and there still be God, even if he was bigger than being human there had to be something bigger than him - there just had to be.

So, what is worship to a god that isn’t being worshiped?

Ronan didn’t feel deserving of being worshiped, and that was a defining factor of being a god, right? Gods needed to be worshiped and feared, though that was something he could do - something he could be. He had spent a lot of time building up a persona of something to be feared, and it didn’t bother him one bit. He wanted to be feared, there were very few people he wanted to not fear him.

And one of those people was the only one that would worship him.

Adam Parrish, known heathen. Believed in nothing. Worshiped nothing.

But when he got on his knees before Ronan, or was praising his name on his lips as they kissed, Ronan never felt more divine. 

They laid together on the swing on the back porch, Adam tucked under his arm as they watched the dreamt lightning bugs dance along the pasture. “I went to St. Agnes today.”

“Oh yeah? How was that?” Adam asked, cuddling up a little closer. He knew the dilemma Ronan had been having, he knew everything about Ronan. Knew every inch of his mind, body, and soul and always had, even before he knew he did. It was terrifying sometimes, the thought of being known. But when it came to Adam, he’d bear his heart bare just for a moment of his time.

“It was good,” he assured him. “Very good. Normal.” Adam knew what that meant, it meant Ronan was still Ronan. Which was a relief. 

“Good. I’m glad you can go back to being you,” he said with a small, teasing smile.

“Just being me?” Ronan asked, tilting his head down to look at him. “You don’t want me to be… you know, more?”

“Never,” Adam said quickly, easily. Was Ronan perfect? Not by a long shot. Was he easy to love? Not always, but he was to Adam. “I love you. Ronan Lynch. Greywaren. Dreamer and god. Brother and lover and friend. You’re everything, and everything to me.”

Ronan’s heart constricted at that, it made him nervous and put him at peace all at once. Adam made him feel the same way God made him feel, warm and accepted and loved. So fucking loved.

He leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, lacing his fingers with one of Adam’s hands. His perfect, knobby hands that had haunted his dreams for years. 

“I might not believe in God, but I believe in you,” Adam whispered against Ronan’s mouth. “You’re my beginning and end. I never thought I’d believe in anything but you’re the one that saved me, not some man in the sky. That’s why it’s not hard for me to believe you’re a god, you’re the only thing I’ve ever met that’s half worth praising.”

Ronan swallowed thickly at that, pressing another kiss to his lips before kissing down along his jaw, to his ear. “You’re such a sap, Adam Parrish,” he teased lightly. 

“Only for you, Lynch,” he said back, shaking his head as he pulled away to watch the stars again. “You’re the only one worth being sappy for. Life sucks, but you don’t,” he said with a small shrug.

What was a god with just one worshiper?

When that worshiper is Adam Parrish, it is everything.