#made these for my own scientific research.

[yuri-is-online]

Jade desperately googling and reading threads about mer x human pregnancies before he even dates yuu.

It differs from species to species, usually fem mer x male human results in viable pregnancies, there are a two articles about eels and humans, but none about morays.

His hope is dwindling, and the general consensus about deep sea folk relationships with humans isn't very good.

I HC that male mer x female human pregnancies don't last very long. After the sperm makes contact with an egg, it'll need a few months of growth before it's expelled from the body and put into the sea. Those kinds of couples usually have one child at a time, it depends on the number of available eggs.

Modern day people in twst have aquariums that are made to hold the clutches in a safe environment away from predators. The aquariums can be used both underwater and on land. After 'hatching' the babies are translucent, they are kept in the aquariums until they gain colour. Once they have enough colour they are let out.

The smallest aquariums need to hold at least one human adult, so that a parent can interact and communicate with their clutch during the growing process.

I think I read a post/fic with a similar headcannon to this? Long long ago, perhaps even before I even downloaded Twisted Wonderland. I don't fully remember... but it is something I have been thinking about a decent bit ever since you sent this ask because it raises so many questions.

I think it makes the most sense in human x mer relationships for one or the other to take a transformation potion and move onto the land/into the sea. In these cases pregnancy/egg laying would go as it would "normally" but what you're suggesting made me think about what would happen if a couple got it on raw in their normal forms and not transformed. Would that result in a viable pregnancy? If it did would it produce the sorts of offspring you are suggesting or would it result in some sort of hybrid child, barely held together by their own magic?

The aquariums are a good idea, the story seems to suggest that Jade and Floyd had other siblings once but they didn't make it. Their mother's obsession with checking up on them and teaching self defense makes a lot of sense if you think of that... she lost most of her babies, she wants the two she has to remain safe (i bet she's going feral rn, let Mama Leech into the enclosure S.T.Y.X. she'll put Malleus in his place ٩(๑`^´๑)۶) My question is whether or not that would interfere with the development of the eggs, especially on land. The deep ocean is very cold, recreating that on land could be problematic. With how few merfolk seem to bother with land (Azul mentions not many people bother with the free program in Book 6) there likely wouldn't be much of anyone thinking up a solution to this problem so few people have.

But Jade has that problem. Or will, he's sure of it but that's a minor detail- point is this is a problem he's actively thinking about. It keeps him awake at night, Jade strikes me as someone who would do a lot of research about this. It's part of how he loves, pouring through a pile of scientific articles that was slim to begin with but feel irrelevant now. None of these help him understand his chances because he is from the deep sea, Jade might be hardened towards the death of his siblings but he thinks of his own children and a rage unlike any he's ever known begins to stir in the pit of his stomach. Later, much later when he is explaining this all to you he will brush it off as him considering your human sensibilities, but the truth is written plain on his face. This little aquarium he has made was a solution painstakingly crafted with help from his own obsessions. It's the most important terrarium he has ever made because it will contain the most precious of all life forms, ones he watches grow in awe as he coos softly. These children were wanted long before they were ever born, their parents loved them to the point of invention and every second up until they hatch and forever after.

[romanreigns]

📹: majed1414gh/tiktok

[aru-art]

happy 2nd anniversary to what continues to be the game of all time!! 🪐

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

As my following grows and as I meet more and more people who have rats, had rats, know someone who has/had rats, and love rats...

increasingly I wonder if/when a day will come... a day that I'll express rat enjoyment to someone and they'll enthusiastically ask me if I've heard of This Funnie Little Rodent Blog they like, figuring I may already know it or will enjoy it if not...

and it's.. my blog... and then I have to come out as popular Rat Tumblr blogger that they follow and now know IRL.......

[joyceyayo]

Pt. 2 Imagine having a baby with Ford Pines. When he found out you were pregnant, he immediately shifted his research and got numerous books about prenatal and childcare. (Also, a dad joke book.) He also had created a vitamin regimen to help boost the child’s development and health during the pregnancy by the very next day, which had you scared but flattered. He’d be endlessly fascinated by his baby’s growth and tracking every milestone, undoubtedly making a detailed journal about the development. He’d always ask how you’re doing and offer you anything you crave. Sometimes, you get very frustrated as he pulls out a journal and starts writing about you during a conversation.

When the child comes, he’s protective and caring, but his scientific nature sometimes makes him a fascinating parent, talking to your kid about the wonders of time and space at three months. I can see him writing his own picture books about his adventures to read to them at night, but either way, they would hear all about the paranormal; let’s say your kid is not a fan of garden gnomes. He’s a cool dad, though sometimes he gets frustrated when the child plays with something dangerous, his past experiences making admittedly a bit paranoid and overbearing. He’d always have a new toy being made for them in his lab, spoiling them with an abundance of insane inventions they think are normal but any other kid wouldn’t be able to comprehend. I imagine him making a mini transformer that actually transforms into a drivable car for them. Other kids would come over for a play date, and yours would say, “Yeah, these are my Magna-Tiles that my dad tweaked to have endless combinations.” And the other kids like 😲

[ashwhowrites]

Hi! Can I send kinda silly request for Eddie and reader? (I read this fun fact in some scientific magazine 😅)

Reader and Eddie are trying to have a baby so she's getting off pill but Eddie read in some girly magazine that after getting on pill women's taste in men changes.

So after getting off, it changes again to original set up. (Scientists conducted some research in which women even started to hate smell of their man, pheromones or some shit.)

The boy is scared that this scientific thing is gonna work in their case also. So he starts to take a shower few times a day and wear enormous amount of cologne non stop.

Reader can't stand it so she have to prove him she still desires him. (Also she can't stop laughing for a while when he tells her)

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

His smell

Y/N and Eddie had been married for almost two years, and they were itching to have a baby.

Y/N went off the pill and they had been trying and trying for a baby all the time. Eddie swore he was in the prime time of his life.

Eddie waited in the waiting room as Y/N sat in her appointment. He was bored out of his mind and picked up one of the magazines. He flipped through it, even more, bored as the scientific facts put him to sleep.

But then something made him jump awake

"Getting off the pill? Think twice because you may not desire your man anymore"

Eddie quickly skimmed the page, his eyes reading the words faster than he had ever read in his life. Eddie felt like he held his breath as he read all the small articles. From what his brain understood, Scientists conducted some research in which women even started to hate the smell of their man.

Eddie closed the magazine and threw it back on the table.

"Ready?" Y/N asked, looking down at Eddie with a huge smile

Eddie nodded and stood up. He kept looking back at that magazine until they were out the door.

Then he sprayed cologne on like he had the money for ten bottles. Which he did not.

~~~

Eddie hated how paranoid he was. He woke up and showered, he refused to wear anything twice, and then he'd shower before bed. Sometimes he even took up to three or four showers. He was constantly scrubbing his body. He even stole her body wash and towels.

But he refused to smell around his wife.

~~~

"Eddie? This water bill is through the roof. What have you been doing?" Y/N laughed as she looked at their bills.

"Nothing, why is it me?" He asked as he sipped on his cold beer. He took the seat across from her.

"Because I haven't been doing anything different. So that leaves you. Why is the water bill so high?" She asked again

"Just taking some showers" Eddie shrugged

"But why? I mean you sometimes shower even if you did nothing."

"You can still be dirty after doing nothing!" Eddie defended

"Eddie, I've seen you not shower after many things that needed a shower. What's going on?" She asked, she reached over and rubbed his hand. "Are you sneaking in there to do something?"

"NO!" Eddie said, "It's just...I don't want to smell around you."

Y/N blinked in confusion as she stared at her husband

"Since when have you ever cared about that? Two weeks ago you shoved my face in your armpit and asked if you need more deodorant." Y/N said

"Fine, remember when we went to the doctor?"

Y/N nodded as Eddie continued

"I read something that said...after you get off the pill things change. And sometimes women begin to...hate the smell of their man." Eddie kept his eyes on his beer

It was silent

And then

Y/N was laughing her ass off

"Wow, what an amazing wife you are!" Eddie pouted as he yanked his hand away from hers.

"Oh Eddie stop it!" She laughed, "I just...you are adorable."

"You are laughing at me!" Eddie whined as he threw his head back

"Baby, look at me," she said, she tried her best to hold back her laugh

He sighed but looked at her

"I still desire you and your smell." She said, but giggled.

"I so believe you," Eddie said as he rolled his eyes. "My own wife making fun of me." He continued to pout as he stood up and walked over to the couch.

Y/N followed him, holding back her laughs.

Eddie planted himself on the couch with a huff

"I'm just surprised you read science," she said as she stood above him

"I was bored!" Eddie defended

"I think it's sexy you wanted me to desire you."

"Really?" He asked, his puppy eyes looked back up at her

"Makes me desire you even more," she said, her voice low as she placed herself on his lap.

His hands moved to wrap around her waist without a thought

She leaned down and smelled his neck, her nose traveled up his neck and tickled his skin.

"You smell good enough to sink my teeth into," she purred into his neck

He squeezed her hips as he felt his body react to her words

"Want me to prove how much I still desire you?" She asked, a twinkle in her eye as she smiled down on him

"I think that's the nice thing to do," he said with a smirk

She squealed as he threw her over his shoulder and ran them into their bedroom.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[deception-united]

Let's talk about writing fantasy.

Fantasy is one of my favourite genres, to read and to write. But the worldbuilding required and the existing tropes can make it difficult to craft a unique, compelling novel. There are a number of less-discussed nuances that might not always be at the forefront of writing discussions. Here are some tips to help you out:

Ground it in reality: Even though fantasy allows for boundless imagination, grounding your world in elements familiar to readers can make it more relatable and believable. Making it too otherworldly can make it difficult to understand or follow, and will likely make it much more difficult to interweave the explanation of your world and its society into the text seamlessly.

Consistency: Fantasy worlds can be complex, with their own rules, magic systems, and histories. Ensure consistency in your worldbuilding, avoiding contradictions or sudden changes without explanation. I find it helpful to keep a world bible or notes to track details and maintain coherence throughout the story.

Character-driven plots: While epic battles and magical quests are exciting, don't forget that compelling characters drive the heart of any story. Develop multi-dimensional characters with strengths, weaknesses, and personal arcs that resonate with readers (see my post on character development for more).

Avoid clichés and stereotypes: Fantasy often draws from familiar tropes and archetypes, but try not to rely on them too heavily. Subvert expectations and breathe new life into old conventions by adding unique twists or exploring lesser-known mythologies and cultures. Make it your own!

Magic has consequences: Magic adds wonder to fantasy worlds, but it should also have limitations and consequences. Consider the societal, environmental, and personal impacts of magic on your world and characters. A well-defined magic system can enhance the depth and realism of your story.

Worldbuilding through storytelling: Instead of dumping large chunks of exposition, reveal your fantasy world gradually through character interactions, dialogue, and plot progression. Show, don't tell, and let readers piece together the intricacies of your world as they journey through your story (check out my previous post on worldbuilding for more tips).

Embrace diversity: Fantasy worlds should reflect the diversity of our own world. Include characters from various backgrounds, cultures, and identities, and explore themes of inclusivity and acceptance within your narrative.

Conflict beyond good vs. evil: While the battle between good and evil is a classic fantasy trope, consider adding layers of moral ambiguity and complexity to your conflicts. Explore themes of power, redemption, and the consequences of choices made in the face of adversity.

Research is essential: Even in a world of imagination, research plays a crucial role in grounding your story in reality. Whether it's drawing inspiration from historical events, cultural practices, or scientific principles, thorough research can enrich your worldbuilding and add depth to your narrative. Even fantasy worlds and elements require some sort of basis to make them more believable.

Revise: Like any genre, writing fantasy requires extensive revision and polishing. Be prepared to revise your manuscript multiple times, seeking feedback from beta readers or critique partners to strengthen your story, characters, and worldbuilding.

Happy writing!

Previous | Next

[jenneyquinn]

𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

in which the pine tree and llama are the epitome of soulmates w/c: 11.2k words (not proofread) masterpost

“in case if you have forgotten, pacifica northwest is the worst.”

well, near the end of their first summer in gravity falls, worst would be the cumulative word to describe pacifica—in the view of dipper pines, that is. and how could he not? so far, all he’s seen of her was a spoiled, rich, mean girl who was nothing but awful to his sister. a product of a family consistent with fraudulence and an unwavering desire to be at the top—

“pacifica’s rich, she’s cheating at life”

“nathaniel northwest didn’t found gravity falls and your whole family’s a sham”

—dipper could describe pacifica in many words that would paint her in a negative light, but there could be only much to say about her that is justified by his character. he doesn’t hold a lot of money to his name, or his family for that matter, but he lived life honestly. to find the truth in all things.

and considering pacifica northwest was cruel enough to make his sister feel bad about herself? what more truth was there in calling her the worst?

amongst the roars and cheers of the audience in the telepathy tent, there was a pair of starry eyes that were completely struck in awe, and maybe... admiration?

but how could she not? from the flashing lights to the glowing cerulean bolo ties that match their eyes (which also managed to glow?)—pacifica southeast was hooked on the gleeful twins, especially the male counterpart of the pair; as revealed by the faint blush on her cheeks.

her cousin, gideon pines, begged to differ. though knowing him, pacifica knew that the chubby little nerd is hard to impress—hard enough that he might as well be dubbed the "fun police".

gideon just doesn't get it, she thought, if those dreamy blue eyes were in front of him, alluring as he is mysterious...

she then gets lost in the image that occurred just a moment ago: the gentle look of dipper gleeful's eyes boring right into hers, taking her warm hand in his cold one as he brings it to his lips, barely grazing the surface; all the while looking directly at her, the smallest hint of a grin gracing his face right after.

despite how cold he felt, how cold his aura was—pacifica couldn't have felt any hotter that summer night.

“i went from undergrad to phd three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked and was awarded an enormous grant for my own scientific research! but what to study…?”

after being rejected from his dream school, dipper pines worked twice as hard from his time at backupsmore uni to reap success similar to what he would’ve achieved had he made it into west coast tech.

one day, dipper pushes his hair back when he looks at himself in the mirror, pondering over his constellation-looking birthmark…

then suddenly, click!

in the blink of an eye, he finds himself in the middle of nowhere in gravity falls, oregon, obviously needing a place to stay.

that's when dipper goes to northwest realty, where he meets up-and-coming realtor, pacifica northwest.

"so, you wanna buy this lot?" she asks, unclear if she heard the guy right. "are you sure you wouldn't like to reconsider and opt for an alternative location? i mean—given this lot has been a preserved environmental space, and you'll be ways away from the town—you'd be funneling a lot of money just to get this lot and build a home here."

"oh, it's alright, miss—"

"just call me pacifica." she interrupts, but smiles.

"sorry—pacifica, i can assure you that money is no issue to me. i've recently received quite the grant to pursue an independent study, and this would be the perfect location to conduct my research."

"i see, but mister pines—"

"it's dipper," he cuts off, returning her smile from a moment ago.

she chuckles before continuing: "if it's researching your business here, i can gladly show you a place close to the local library—or the museum? our town archives?? surely this would be a more efficient use of your money."

"heh, you're not like the other northwests," dipper replies, reflecting on his own knowledge of the northwest family, "aren't you supposed to be like, bleeding me dry? i'm practically helping you more than myself here."

pacifica gasps, looking offended: "excuse me?"

suddenly, dipper realizes he's messed up. sometimes that mouth of his is too smart for his own good. he didn't mean to insult her, it was meant to be playful teasing that's all!

so he stammers, trying to undo the damage.

"i-i'm so sorry! i didn't mean it—to be insulting, that is! i s-swear it was only meant to be a lighthearted joke! you smell r-really pretty—"

amidst his ramblings, pacifica breaks into a fit of laughter.

"you're something, dipper pines. you know what, let me sell you the lot, and i'll pay a lumberjack to build your new home for you. don't worry, you seem to know a thing or two about my family anyways, so it's no big deal."

"really?" he asks, dumbfounded. "you'd do that? but why?? surely i have some money to spare after getting the lot—"

"i do have one condition, though."

dipper breaks into a sweat—though, he thought he's already gotten past that phase from his adolescent years.

pacifica takes out a small, square pad of yellow sticky notes from the front pocket of her orchid-purple blazer, puts it on her clipboard, taking a pen and writes on the pad. when she finishes, pacifica peels the sticky note from its pad and promptly hands it to the brunette.

"when that house of yours is built, how about i drop by for dinner? that better be some study if it's taking you away from civilization."

“call me crazy, but maybe she’s not so bad after all…”

dipper thinks aloud, surprised by the sudden change in his opinion. besides, how does one go from being the worst to not so bad?

perhaps he was crazy, or maybe it was the faint smell of champagne and flowers in those probably-fake blonde locks of hers... could there be something more to pacifica northwest that goes deeper than the surface? or something deeper between them??

impossible! come on, this is pacifica he's talking about. pacifica northwest! the greatest link in the world's worst chain—but that's like picking out a fresh apple from a basket filled with mouldy fruit.

so, as soon as he let his vulnerability scrawl across the journal page through his pen, dipper just as quickly crosses it out.

the picture can stay, though. after all, his artistic ability does a great job capturing the likeness of her beauty—

okay, i've got to stop that!

pacifica, on the other hand, could not have slept any better.

sure, she had to endure a grounding by her parents and a nightmare traumatizing enough to keep a tapestry of a one-eyed triangle demon locked in her closet so it would no longer bore through her eyes and into her soul.

but she also couldn't deny that it was a humbling experience for herself. pacifica had to face the music and realize that the pines twins were far from her problems... in fact, they might have been the first real friends she has ever had in gravity falls—and she's lived here forever.

the pines twins were the first to show pacifica northwest the truth—about her heritage, about what her family has really done to others, about the kind of person she's come from and whether she wants to maintain that legacy or not.

when she refused to shake that stony, moss-riddled hand, something clicked in pacifica. something that said her integrity was worth more than a dollar sign, that the price of morality could actually mean more than money; and she would have never come to that epiphany if it weren't for dipper and mabel.

after all, them being here has to mean something, knowing that she could sleep in peace, with dipper pines only a call away.

as the morning newspaper plopped on their doorstep, gideon was the resident of the mystery shack who picked it up off the planked stoop. what once was a facial expression of exhaustion immediately turned to one of shock and possibly disgust?

of course, when you read a headline talking about gravity falls’ most dangerous guy dating your cousin, those sort of things will do that to you…

GLEEFUL’S NEW GIRLFRIEND? LADIES STEP ASIDE!

gideon doesn’t bother reading the article himself, but he could tell from the pictures of his mortal enemy and his best friend-slash-cousin being dangerously close to each other—there is something calculated about gleeful’s smile… it’s clearly there for the paps, cameras and flashing lights and all, but there’s something more sinister to that small, suble, charismatic grin.

and that something sinister says: screw you, gideon pines.

“PACIFICAAA!”

despite the local news jolting him wide awake, nothing could’ve prepared gideon for the wolf-pitched squeals filling the shack, all coming from the small southeast.

“no! there is no EEE-ing about this, pazzy!” he bursts, all red in the face and pouty, to which pacifica couldn’t help but laugh to; it was a sight for sure.

it doesn’t take long for them to have yet another conversation about dipper gleeful being too dangeous for pacifica to date—let alone be in close proximity with—but she knows, deeper than the dark side dipper does have, that he is a good person.

but when you see the good in everything, rationality and skepticism won’t budge—which exactly is making the subject between the pines-southeast duo a million times rockier than it needs to be.

i should really get that mirror dusted… dipper thinks to himself as he adjusts his tie using his apparently dusty reflection in the mirror.

embarrassing. the man is already in his twenties, and you think that growing up properly-dressed, the least he could do is put on a tie correctly…

a ding-dong from the front of the shack pulls him out of his concentration, causing dipper to groan and throw his hands up in frustration. he was so sure he was going to get it right this time.

but a final tired, defeated glance at his reflection said otherwise.

nevertheless, dipper goes to answer the front door, where he sees his date looking… why is she wearing sunglasses, a shapeless trenchcoat, and a big hat? is she wearing a disguise??

is she embarrassed to come out here to see me?

letting herself in, pacifica removes the big hat and sunglasses, her platinum blonde hair cascading on her shoulders and down her coat, diamond eyes and strawberry-pink lips giggling at her dorky-looking date.

she approaches him already, which makes dipper more red-faced and sweaty. they couldn’t have their first kiss already?! not when their first date barely began!

he’s all the more ashamed when he puckers his lips only to meet air—cracking one eye open to look down at the woman adjusting his tie, smiling fondly.

when she finishes, she tip-toes to meet his height, giving a single peck on his red-hot cheek and chuckles.

“glad to see you, too.”

if there was anything that mabel has brought to the people of gravity falls, it would be her natural talent for matchmaking.

it’s already one thing that your enemy has stopped being your enemy, and another thing that your twin brother is finally starting to get over his one-sided crush, but for both your ex-enemy and twin brother to have a spark and potentially experience an epic enemies-to-lovers romance?!

it wasn’t the match she ask for, but love works in mysterious ways…

and if this match needs to be made, it shall be made!

it all started with the party at northwest manor…

while mabel had made up with candy and grenda, done with eye candy for the night, she just wanted to have fun and appreciate her girlfriends for a night—after all, it was their dream to party inside of northwest manor than camping out by the main gates like the rest of the townsfolk…

but then… from the corner of her eye, had she spotted her brother… smiling? and having fun?? with another girl???

if mabel has to be honest, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to find out said girl was pacifica northwest, but hey—if dip had to get over wendy, he had to start somewhere…

it didn’t help that she was laying in bed, wide awake in the dead of night, trying to figure out what was going on between the unlikely pair. it got more frustratingly confusing the more mabel paid mind to it, and can someone stuff a sock in her snoring brother’s mouth’s already!

but for a guy who rarely gets any sleep, mabel’s grateful that pacifica was able to entertain dipper enough that he practically went out like a light as soon as his body hit the mattress…

‘though not before sneaking in another quick entry in his journal,’ mabel notes in her head as her tired eyes spot the open journal laying atop dipper’s chest; rising and falling with it.

her eyes squint, trying to make out the drawing of the creature in his journal (not to mention, she’s trying to figure that image out in the dark)

when she catches a glance of the side profile, puffed dress sleeves, and voluminous hair, mabel’s hands join together as her eyes sparkle and a smile spreads across her face.

a scheming smile, that is.

roses are red, pacifica's blood is blue i read what you crossed out i'm onto you!

then, before she signs off her short, yet beautiful poem, mabel takes a final look at dipper's sleeping state; squinting her eyes and chewing the tip of her gel pen.

"start combing your hair, bro-bro..."

although pacifica southeast has barely cried in her lifetime, given that seldom events and things have caused her to be in such a miserable state, nothing could have possibly prepared her for the worst forms of sadness.

betrayal, deceit, heartbreak.

she knew she should've seen it coming, deep down in her heart she knew the true nature of the boy who instantly caught her eye... but it didn't stop pacifica from ignoring all of her cousin's warnings and looking on the bright side, as she typically did.

but maybe this time, there was no silver lining.

she looks back at the polaroid pictures in her summer memories scrapbook, a memorabilia she compiled of her first vacation in gravity falls and the first moments she would share with her family and new friends.

thinking that she would look back at these times in the future and see heartfelt memories, pacifica could only see the polaroid picture where she looked her happiest with dipper gleeful, as a tear drops between where the pair are shown.

he broke her heart, made her cry, but after some tears were shed and noses were blown, pacifica southeast was left with a heart done wrong and justice to be served.

if the gleefuls thought they would get away with this, they were dead wrong.

walking up to the doorstep of her boyfriend’s place, pacifica holds a small gift bag on one hand as she uses her free one to knock on the front door.

excitement is spread throughout her face as she smiles from cheek to cheek, unable to maintain her patience with each passing moment.

though, she wasn’t prepared for her smile to drop the instant when another woman opens the door, greeting pacifica with a single smile before swiftly exiting dipper’s home.

“oh, hey paz!” he greets his girlfriend, smiling. as if some other woman didn’t just leave his place—a woman pacifica clearly had no idea about.

she looks indifferent, refusing to give the guy any sort of response as she enters the shack, bumping her shoulder against his as she walks in.

noticing her sour mood, dipper tries to sweeten it up by using up his nerd charm. i mean, it was how he got to date her from the start.

“c’mon, northwest, no ‘hey four-eyes’?” he asks playfully, dropping his arms to her waist, “no ‘hi dip-head’?”

pacifica pulls away from his arms before he got the chance to pull her in any closer, turning her nose up and away from him as she closes her eyes and huffs.

“hey…” hurt starts to rise in dipper’s voice as she pushes him away, “are you okay? if i did something wrong, you need to tell me. you know i’d never hurt you, right? paz…”

“do i, pines?” she retorts, sounding frustrated. “do i know anything about you? because i know nothing about that girl who just left your house in a good mood, i know nothing about your family, i don’t even know what the heck you research or why you’re in gravity falls!”

“pacifica…”

she sobs as more tears stream down her face: “is it because you don’t think i’m smart enough for you? that i’m nothing more than a pretty face and sort of walking, breathing trust fund you hold onto so when you’re short on money, i’ll be the one saving your butt??”

the blonde turns away from him, not wanting him to see her so vulnerable. dipper, on the other hand, refuses to take this. was this what his girlfriend really thought of their relationship… of herself?

in that moment, dipper curses preston and priscilla northwest for causing their daughter to possibly think so low of herself.

“pacifica,” he speaks up, bringing a hand to her chin and getting her to face him, “the reason why we’re dating isn’t only because of your looks… surely, you must know that?”

he looks into his girlfriend’s tear-filled eyes, his heart breaking at the sight of her miserable state: “you’re so much more that what your parents make you out to be. i date you because i have fun whenever we’re together… you absolutely destroy me in fight fighters and show me that there are other ways to have a good time than books…”

he blushes, internally recalling their shared moments, “the truth is, i get scared. a gorgeous woman like you, inside and out, going out with a nerd like me? it’s like a dream i don’t want us to wake up from… but what if one day, you do wake up? i have nothing much to give to you, pacifica. i don’t have much money to my name, and my research is… laughable to a lot. what if you laughed at me too? you’d think i’m just some loser that’s wasting his time and grant money on weird stuff…”

“dipper pines…” she looks into his eyes intently “do you trust me?”

a silence fills the room for a moment, until he replies.

“of course i trust you, pacifica.”

taking a deep breath before she continues, pacifica continues to look into his eyes through those big glasses of his: “maybe i don’t understand what you research… maybe i never will… but, your work makes you happy."

she smiles at him, her diamond-blue eyes still hot with tears: "i like when i see you happy, dipper. it's... cute? i never felt this way about anybody else before, but i like feeling like this. i like when you geek out about weird stuff—it's when you're really yourself, and i like that you don't let what other people think change that about you."

now, dipper begins to tear up, but trying his best to compose himself—wondering how he got so lucky to be dating such a person.

finally back in her good mood, pacifica hands the gift bag to her boyfriend.

"i got this for our one-month anniversary, it's not much, but i thought i'd get you some more 'thinking pens' for your research... and a pack of chewing gum because i don't want to date someone with braces... or worse—toothless."

after sharing a laugh together, dipper takes pacifica by the hand, leading her to his lab.

"maybe now would be the perfect time to show you what i've been studying since i've moved to gravity falls."

mabel knew that summer's end was fast approaching, but it doesn't mean that there would be no time for romance!

besides, she knew that the plan she was about to concoct wasn't something to be done overnight... sure, making a match for robbie stacy valentino took a couple days to work out—along with the consequences of her social circle—but this project? compared to robbie, he was a piece of cake!

this was her brother. and her former enemy.

the seeds still needed to be sown.

it wasn't completely hopeless though. at least, after the events of the northwest's party and dipper's journal entry, there was potential to be explored. and if dipper pines singlehandedly had the ability to spark a change of heart in pacifica...

if only mabel knew how pacifica northwest felt for her brother...

then, just like a prayer answered, a 'ping' goes off on mabel's phone, revealing a text from an unknown number...

hey, dipper... so about that hug...

hug?! what hug?! she had all wendy's, candy's, and grenda's numbers in her contacts, so who could've possibly wanted to text her brother about some hug that they wanted to forget—

suddenly, as mabel gasped, it was totally clear who it was.

now, there was many ways she could approach this. so many possibilities. does she pretend to be dipper and try to hook him up? does she try to be a supportive friend and be honest with pacifica??

actually, come to think of it... after all the times she's been embarrassed by the hands of that northwest, she's been overdue for a bit of humiliation herself.

a mischievous smile spreads across mabel's face. matchmaking can wait, anyways.

“it’s over, southeast!”

cornerned by the two terrorizing twin-bots, pacifica is left out of options as the gleeful twins have captured gideon, his tiny body restrained by the big metal grip of the mabel-bot.

“you’ve been had,” mabel continues, “the only way for boys to be interested in you was by pretending—which is exactly what my dear brother had just done."

as pacifica turns from mabel to dipper, he turns his head; refusing to look back at her. whether he actually felt a twinge of guilt or didn't care enough to return her gaze was irrelevant—pacifica's heart broke all the same.

"now, we’ve won! with gideon possessing the first and third journals, the gleefuls can finally take over gravity falls… heck—we can take over the galaxy!”

as she laughs maniacally, the turns to gideon, still in her steel grip: “with you as my lil’ king!”

“a-hem,” dipper calls from behind—his robotic hips on one side, metallic arms folded over each other, and a foot tapping against the forest floor; probably scarring away any woodlen creatures nearby.

“you heard me, diphead. there’s only room for one pair of rulers here—but hey! you and will have made decent sidekicks in the past. if all goes well, i’ll make sure there’s room for the both of you in my court—ha!”

with that, mabel’s robot violently shoves dipper’s with one hand as she keeps gideon the other; her grip still tight on the poor child.

“AHH!”

dipper screams as he falls out from the robot’s head, his eyes shut as he braces his demise… if only he still had his amulet.

pacifica gasps, watching dipper in the sky.

“dipper!”

pulling out her grappling hook, she shoots it without a second thought, praying to whatever force out there that it latches onto some sort of strong branch, and leaps forward; the recoil pulling her towards the endangered gleeful twin.

then, before he had any idea, dipper doesn’t feel the weight of the wind and gravity pushing him down anymore. instead, he feels the warmth of something… or rather yet, someone, holding onto him.

he cracks one eye open to see that, pacifica southeast, the girl he’s been deceiving for the past month, glaring at the mabel-bot.

“pacifica?”

“shut up, gleeful. the only reason you’re alive is because you’re helping me get gideon back.”

TACK!—TACK!—TACK!

the stones that hit against the glass of pacifica's bedroom window were enough to annoy her awake. she hoped that her parents weren't bothered by the sound as well, despite her doubts.

"chiu?!" she exclaimed in a hush voice, "the heck are you doing out here? it's three in the morning!"

"pacifica!" the ravenette in the lab coat calls out to the northwest, fiddling with her hands, jerking her head from side to side; as if somebody was watching her. "y-you need to talk to dipper! he doesn't g-get it! wh-what's coming—"

"whoa, candy, hold on," pacifica interrupts, rubbing her temples, "chill. breathe. slow down. what doesn't dipper get? what do you mean 'what's coming'?"

"i'm not crazy, pacifica!" candy panics. "something's coming. something bad. but dipper's too stubborn to stop his work! if you don't stop him, this could be the end of gravity falls!"

"c'mon, talk sense. this is dipper, we're talking about. he wouldn't hurt a fly."

"i don't think we're talking about the same dipper."

with that, candy makes a hasty leave from the grounds of northwest manor, leaving pacifica in a mixed state of exhaustion and confusion.

candy doesn't know what she's talking about, the blonde tries to convince herself, dipper's stubborn, but not stupid.

she sleeps with some difficulty that night, but come morning, she goes to her boyfriend's place to visit; clearly concerned about candy's warning from the night before.

when the door opens, pacifica greets dipper with a big smile, to which he reciprocates, but then asks about the reason of her visit.

"can't i just visit my boyfriend? c'mon, let's go to the lake—your skin's getting pale, dip."

"look, pacifica," dipper speaks as he takes her hand, leading her down to his lab, "i need your help. you've got to take this journal, get as far away as you can from me, and bury it where nobody can ever hope to find it."

as he gives his instructions, dipper shoves a journal into his girlfriend's hands; on the cover is a blue pine tree with the number '2' printed on it.

candy was right. why would dipper need her to go away from him? what did that dummy do??

"wait, you can't just tell me to do whatever you want—especially getting away from you. why do you need me to do this?"

he opens his mouth, but pauses before answering: "i don't think i can tell you that."

she scoffs, "you're kidding. you can't tell me or you won't?"

"i'm serious, i'm not going to risk you knowing too much."

"that's a whole load and you know it. what about candy?" she asks, pointing a finger at him, "she's clearly capable of knowing more than me."

dipper sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "don't make this a whole ego thing, pacifica—"

"an ego thing?! i thought we were a team, dipper. i thought you trusted me! or was that nothing more than a bunch of words filled with empty promises?"

she angrily waves the journal, now pointing to it accusingly: "recently, you've been doing nothing but coop yourself down here and write in these dumb books of yours! i swear, these journals have probably gotten more action with your face than i have for the past few weeks. and after finally getting to see you in person for so long—you want to tell me to get away from you? sending me off like some sort of blind dog?!"

"it's not dumb, pacifica—it's dangerous!" dipper exclaims, losing patience with the blonde, "don't ever talk down on my research—"

"well, it must be so lame if you never want it to be seen again. in fact, i'm going to walk to the city dump right now—"

"pacifica, don't!"

as she walks away, dipper goes up to her, trying to tear the book from her hands.

"my life's work!"

as he hastily snatches the book from her grip, dipper gives her a single push of his hand while protecting the journal with the other.

pacifica yelps, losing her balance as she is forced backwards. the side of her head makes an impact with one of dipper's many machines, cutting into her skin before meeting the ground.

"oh my god, pacifica! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean—"

"stuff it, pines." she spats back, dismissing him with her hand. pacifica tries to recollect herself by getting herself off the ground and dusts her clothes.

she then looks directly into his eyes with pure disgust.

"if your work matters more than our relationship, if you don't even trust me enough to let me help you or even tell me what's going on, i'm done."

pacifica turns away from him again, but dipper calls out to her.

"pacifica, wait."

she only turns her head: "do you trust me, dipper?"

just like before, the room is filled with silence. only this time, pacifica doesn't get any reply.

so, she leaves his house for the final time, leaving dipper by himself.

hey mabel, um... is it okay if i could text dipper for a bit? need to ask him something real quick

summer is almost over, her thirteenth birthday is fast approaching, but it already seems like mabel pines' wishes are already coming true.

"DIPPER! PACIFICA'S ASKING FOR YOU! I THINK SHE WANTS TO GO ON A DATE!"

"WHAT?!"

dipper didn't find mabel's exaggeration amusing in the slightest. "it's not a date mabel, she just wants to hang at the lake—as friends."

"okay, so maybe i should join you guys. after all, we're all friends, right?" she shoots back, taunting him.

"no!" dipper objects, his voice squeaking; to which mabel smirk grows. going red in the face, he clears his throat before continuing: "i mean, since paz only asked for me—"

"i'm gonna ignore the fact that you're on pet-name terms now, but you do realize she only asked for you because she—i don't know—might be totally into you!"

his blush deepens at his sister’s accusation.

“c-c’mon! this is pacifica we’re talking about! she only just stopped hating our guts like, less than a couple weeks ago?”

“fine, but you’re still gonna hang with her today, right? she still needs a friend, bro-bro.”

dipper knew mabel was right, and even if she wasn’t as encouraging, a part of him deep down was genuinely looking forward to hang with pacifica one more time before his birthday and leaving gravity falls.

before summer ended and heading back into the unknown.

“help us, will! don’t forget i’m still your master!”

“don’t listen to him, you moldy nacho! i’m your master, not dipstick’s! obey me!”

“ENOUGH!”

the sound of will’s voice booms throughout the forest, bringing the town of gravity falls to a standstill. apart from the triangular demon, only the gleeful twins, pacifica, and gideon remained unfrozen

"i've had just enough of you two brats! generations of torment... well i'm sick of it. no longer is will cipher going to be a slave to the gleeful family! from now on—you guys are on your own! good luck taking over gravity falls without me, you weak flesh-sacks!"

the four children gasp, in shock at the enslaved demon's outrage. with a single snap, the mabel-bot goes powerless, causing it to go limp and tip over.

dipper and mabel clutch onto pacifica for dear life as the latter panics; trying to find a way to get to gideon as he is loosened from the metal grip, freefalling to his demise.

BOOM!

an electric, smoky bubble of blue bursts upon the mabel-bot’s impact on the ground, a ripple spreads throughout the town; bringing a gust of wind to the to the townsfolk.

because of the robot’s explosion, the people of gravity falls gather towards the source of the damage, where they don’t find bodies.

instead, they spot pacifica, mid-air, her hold on the grappling hook breaking her fall. dipper and gideon cling on to each of the blonde’s sides, with mabel’s arms wrapped over her brother’s shoulders from behind; nearly choking the gleeful twin.

as officers powers and trigger catch sight of the gleeful twins, they rush even closer to their aid.

"mabel! dipper! what happened?" trigger cries.

already pulling out the waterworks, mabel puts on her mask again: "it was southeast and pines! they tried to attack us and blew up our statues with dynamite! arrest them!"

dipper simply rolls his eyes as powers gets the handcuffs ready; gideon and pacifica gasp.

"officers, she's lying!" gideon exclaims.

"sorry kids," powers apologizes, "but we trust the gleefuls. and there's nothing short of a miracle that could ever—"

"okay, i'm getting tired of this," dipper deadpans, cutting off the officers. "pacifica southeast and the pines kid are innocent. we were the ones responsible behind the—"

"mason pines you shut your mouth right now!" mabel snaps, momentarily breaking through her façade, before realizing her slight error and giggles it off.

"heh, what i mean to say officers, is that my poor brother must be concussed and clearly has no idea what he's saying—heh—right, dipper?"

"hmm..." he hums, tapping his chin in thought, "i don't think so, i remember someone shoving me... causing me to fall from seventy feet high..."

staring at mabel, dipper gives a smirk her way before swiftly referring to the hand in his front pocket, revealing only a sliver of a small, black, flash drive.

then he leans close, whispering to his sister: "now wouldn't exactly be the best time to put our enemies incarcerated, mabel. don't forget who saved your butt from meeting death just a moment ago."

mabel growls for a moment, then takes a deep breath before she speaks again.

"as a matter of fact... it was all a misunderstanding, officers. gideon and pacifica were saving us," mabel explains, pulling gideon close to her for a peck on the cheek: "my heroes!"

it has been weeks since pacifica had left dipper's place for the last time, and obviously, the heartbroken blonde hadn't heard from the four-eyed dork.

good riddance, she thought bitterly. as if it was any surprise.

but as the days turn from weeks to months, pacifica knew she needed to leave the house. the fluorescent lights and chandeliers in her family mansion wasn't doing much to help her tan... but what to do...

she starts by walking to dusk2dawn, the same darn convenience store where she met her ex-boyfriend.

yeah, smart move there, northwest.

as pacifica reaches for the smile dip, mainly to take a closer look at it, she can't help but to overhear some commotion going on by the register.

"i've heard some strange stories about that old shack, strange and spooky experiments..."

"gosh, i'd pay anything to see what sort of shenanigans you've got going down in there."

no... could it be?

when the curious blonde sets down the smile dip and heads to the front, she couldn't believe her eyes on what's happening before her.

it was a woman. she looked like her ex-boyfriend. similar build, similar facial features. her appearance could easily mistake anybody for dipper, but the fact that this was clearly a woman kept pacifica's mind focused.

what is this lady doing here in gravity falls? why does she look like dipper pines?? and why is she claiming to live where he lives???

"what is your name, you madam of mystery?"

"uh ma—" the woman takes a brief pause, "mason pines. parents thought i would come out a boy, so you can call me dipper."

pacifica gasps, but covers her mouth to avoid drawing attention. she stumbles back, then rushes out of the store.

dipper, where are you?

"when are you going to start opening your gifts? i broke a nail wrapping mine."

as pacifica holds up her taped-up hands with an amused smirk, the pines twins laugh along, picking up their gifts—though none of them were from pacifica.

not that she minded. in fact, she hoped that no one else would watch as dipper got to opening her present. she didn't think it was much special, so it must've been embarrassing in comparison to the other gifts the twins will receive, especially after losing northwest manor to preserve their fortune—but she did put a lot of thought into them.

after selling her parents' yacht and her last pony, she hoped that the presents she prepared for both dipper and mabel would be enough. more than enough, ideally.

"oh, pacifica! i think this one is from you!"

dipper's voice pulls her out from her thoughts. he gives her a big smile as he holds up the gift box, which is evidently, poorly wrapped. everyone else sees this, all of them giving her looks.

unable to take all this attention, pacifica's cheeks flush red, rushing towards dipper before pulling him over to the side of the mystery shack.

"whoa, sorry! i didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed," he immediately apologizes to her, reassuring her that it was never his intention, "if it makes you feel any better, i did so much worse my very first time gift-wrapping."

the two share a laugh, followed by a single nudge from pacifica.

"just open it, dork."

"you don't have to tell me twice."

so, dipper rips his gift open, revealing a book with a written note placed on top of the cover.

something to go with that new journal mabel got for you - paz :)

"you got me a revised, updated copy of anomalous phenomena!? anomalous phenomena was one of the books grunkle ford studied after university! how did you get a hold of one of these?!"

"i'd be lying if i said i didn't ask around for help," pacifica answers, looking a bit bashful, "mabel suggested i talk to ford, and he told me about the book. apparently, fewer and fewer copies of the book get made with every revised edition, so i called in some favours. it did cost me my last pony and my parents' yacht, but after everything you've done for me—i mean, the town—it's worth it."

"pacifica..."

she really has changed, he thought. and to think, this was the same girl who bought her way to keep up her family's fraudulent past, who actively tried to humiliate his sister every chance she got.

it can't be, not since he can't see her that way anymore.

so, dropping the gifts to the ground, pacifica lets out a small yelp as she is caught off guard by dipper's arms wrapping around her; pulling her in for an embrace.

"thanks, paz. i couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift."

returning the hug, she rests her head on his shoulder. "don't mention it, dork."

i'm watching you

at the gleeful manor, dipper and mabel haven't been getting any sleep. not since they've brought will to the edge and emancipated himself from their family.

where will has been tortured day-by-day, he has generously returned the favour to the gleeful twins nightly.

but today, mabel isn't having it.

"ugh! how the hack can we defend ourselves against will if we only have the second journal?! everything we know, will has a way to counter-act it!"

"you know, if you keep pacing like that, you're going to burn a hole into the ground."

mabel stops pacing at her brother's words, noticing how much she actually had been pacing. she groans in frustration, all while dipper smiles into his phone.

"you know, instead of being completely useless, you could help me—considering will's going to be after you, too?"

"i could..." dipper chimes back, "but where's the fun in that?"

"are you implying that staring at those not-so-secret creepy photos you take of the southeast girl is more fun than helping me? your own sister??"

"pacifica saved our lives, mabel."

"you heard her—she's done with you. why don’t you just move on like the rest of the human race?"

but if there is anything to know about the gleefuls, it's that they are indeed stubborn.

“how could i have moved on when i’ve never been infatuated at all?”

as if the timing couldn't have been any more perfect, mabel's phone buzzes.

"besides, i suppose your recovery in getting over gideon has been going spendidly, is that correct?"

“you better watch that mouth of yours since will’s not around to protect it anymore,” mabel threatens, turning away from her twin and picks up her phone.

“looks like my widdle giddy-widdy’s going golfing with—” she shivers before finishing, “pacifica.”

dipper sighs, putting his phone down.

“i’ll call soos to bring the car up front.”

"thanks for visiting the mystery shack! come back soon!"

as dipper waves off the last customer of the day, she goes back inside to close the front door; turning the sign from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED'.

what she didn't notice, however, was that there was a stranger out in the woods nearby... hiding in the bushes...

wait, it was not just any stranger...

"alright, you con-artist..."

pacifica mumbles to herself as she observes the shop owner as closely as she can, though the windows prove themselves a difficult task for the blonde.

"i don't know what you've done with my—i mean—the real dipper pines..."

the merchant remains on the sales floor, adjusting, tidying, and restocking product. it looks like... she has even more knick-knacks to display, and...

oh god, that does not look fashionable at all...

pacifica shakes her head, getting her focus back.

"i don't even know who you are... but i know you're not good news..."

she looks down at the notebook before her, filled with notes and sketches of some sort...

maybe you're not such a dummy after all... she thinks to herself, reminiscing her former partner, hopefully these parts of your research will be enough to find you...

pacifica reflects on one of her many dates with dipper, this one taking place in her room at northwest manor...

"whatcha working on there, dummy?"

pacifica's question pulls dipper out of his thoughts, turning away from the open notebook before him to face her. he chuckles before answering her.

"you'll see..." he replies as he concludes his notes, "... and there!"

upon finishing, dipper tucks his pen back in his pocket, closes the notebook shut, before handing it to his girlfriend.

"what... is this? you know i can't understand all this anomaly junk like you do..." she says, chuckling afterwards.

"you're selling yourself short, paz," he speaks as he places a hand on top of hers; which is on the notebook. "you're smarter than you realize. when you put your mind into things, you excel at them..."

he then looks back at her, making direct eye contact with his partner.

"... this isn't to say that i want you to get into this life with me... i could never force you to do what you are not interested in... but i have a feeling, paz. a gut feeling... that i may be getting in too deep, that i'm about to discover some truths that will come with dark consequences..."

"dipper... don't scare me like this..."

"sorry, pacifica. i didn't mean to... but it's the truth. this research of mine—i have a feeling that someday, i won't be as careful as i usually am... so when that happens..."

he looks back down at the notebook, causing pacifica to look down as well.

"let this notebook help you. it may not be as detailed as the journals—but this information is still important. i'm going to need someone that i can trust and count on to help me if i get myself in trouble."

she's silent for a moment, taking in her boyfriend's words: "... but you're gonna be safe, right? if this is very serious, maybe candy would be a better—"

"it has to be you, pacifica. i trust you."

as she finished her reminiscence, she looks back up from the notebook to the newly-opened 'mystery shack'—catching the right moment that dipper inputs some sort of code into the vending machine, creating a secret passage for her to enter through.

"i'm going to save you, dipper. i promise."

"so this is it... you're really leaving, huh?"

dipper is in shock to see pacifica northwest standing at the front door of the mystery shack as he is about to leave it for the final time this summer.

she looks at his bags, then back at him as she makes her comment: "i guess gravity falls is about to have two less dorks once again... heh, g-good riddance."

her voice trembles a bit toward the end of her words, clearly saddened by the twins' upcoming departure.

yet, dipper gives pacifica a soft smile in reassurance.

"it was bound to happen sooner or later... but you did it. you finally got rid of us, right?"

she sniffles, but gives a chuckle, "right."

"hey... it's not like we'll never talk again. we have each others' numbers—well, you have mabel's and we have yours. we'll always be a call away from each other."

pacifica's eyes begin to water, trying to keep up her act up: "ha! l-like i'd ever miss you or your weird sister..."

she crosses her arms, turning her head away, but he sees right through her.

pulling her in for a hug, he whispers in her ear.

"i'll miss you too, pacifica."

as a crowd gathers around pacifica, at the final hole, she gets her golf club ready; a determined look written across her face.

from afar, the gleeful twins and observe with two wildly different facial reactions: mabel's being of digust and unimpressed, while dipper looks rather bemused and intrigued.

as the golf ball makes it way through the final hole, it becomes merely inches away from a hole-in-one, which draws further attention from the gleefuls.

so close... so, so close... is it going to—

but right as dipper thinks about it, the ball misses the hole by some centimetres, swerving around it and landing in a muddy puddle.

"pathetic, isn't it, diphead?" mabel taunts, "anyways, it's about time to show that loser how a real golfer plays, right?"

dipper scoffs, "whatever."

with that, the gleeful twins make their appearance known to gideon and pacifica: mabel sucks up to gideon as usual, but he rejects her advances and reacts uncomfortably.

dipper goes back to his antics, as well. he steps closer to pacifica, taking a bow, as well as her hand. however, this time, she quickly pulls her hand back and gives him the cold shoulder.

"what gives, sunshine? c'mon, let me see that contagious, cute smile of yours, huh?"

pacifica doesn't say anything back, but only frowns deeper.

"can't you guys just leave us alone?" gideon asks, breaking the silence, "you two have been enough trouble for us this summer!"

then pacifica finally speaks up, only looking back at mabel: "and apparently now we can't even play golf without you two stereotypical horror-movie murderous magical twins lurking over us!"

mabel gasps in disgust, but dipper is dumbfounded... maybe even impressed?

"oh, it's so on."

oh, dipper... what have you done?

as he wakes up, dipper finds himself in... he can't even begin to describe his surroundings. though, to sum it all up in one word: unnatural. yeah, that's the word.

even though he could try to pin all the blame on her, deep down, dipper knew he had no one else to blame but himself for putting himself where he is right now.

"bill! you lied to me! where does that portal really lead?!"

"oh-ho! looks like mister brainiac finally got smart! let's just say, when that portal's complete—your dimension's gonna know how to party!"

"no, i'll stop you! i'll shut it down!"

"a deal's a deal, pine tree! you can't stop the bridge between our world from coming, but it would be fun to watch you try! cute even!"

good going, dipper! he berates himself in thought, internally facepalming, if you didn't build that dumb portal, you wouldn't even be in this mess!

after lamenting his current situation, dipper thinks of his loved ones, those that he's come to realize—he's just left behind.

pacifica... oh, god—pacifica...and █████... take care of yourselves, please.

in the first month since they've returned home in piedmont, dipper and mabel were stuck in a loop between sleeping and hour-long calls to friends back in gravity falls while bringing their parents into the loop of their family lore as well as going back to school.

sadly, they couldn't make time to talk to their grunkles as much as the likes of wendy and soos, but, given that the stan brothers needed time for themselves to catch up with each other, the mystery twins weren't bothered in the slightest.

in fact, there was so much that was happening—with melody permanently moving in with soos and his abuela to assist her boyfriend's new promotion in the mystery shack, wendy working less hours as she faces another year of hell— high school along with the rest of the group, and the friends of the twins who were closer in age also preparing their return to school.

"so..."

"you can stop smirking, dipstick, we both know i'm not enjoying this."

pacifica orders as she looks at her phone screen, currently on a video call with dipper... on mabel's phone, that is.

"c'mon, public school isn't as gross as you think it is, paz..."

"it's not just that... i just— i don't know how people will treat me... after, yunno..."

"hey," dipper smiles empathetically, trying to reassure her, "we've been over this. candy and grenda promised they'd take care of you and have your back."

"i know, i know..." she waves it off, knowing all that worry to be a waste of energy, "it's all too surreal though... like i'm trying to wrap my head around it. after all, a lot has changed for the northwests since we've had to sell the mansion."

"well, at least you can take this fresh start with a sense of pride, right? you could change what it means to be a northwest. make something honest of yourself and bring truth to your heritage. you were the chosen one!"

pacifica giggles at dipper's clichéd humour, "speaking of... lazy suzan said she'd be glad to take me in. something about needing an extra set of hands at the diner—another pretty girl to reel in some empty stomachs with full wallets."

"she's not getting any younger, right?" he asks.

"more like, she could only handle so many customers at a time."

"you'd make a pretty cute waitress, greasy's won't know what hit 'em."

heat instantly rises in pacifica's cheeks at dipper's sudden comment, immediately taken aback by his words.

although it looks as if dipper didn't fully register what he was saying either, as his facial reaction practically mirrored pacifica's as soon as the words left his mouth.

"you're getting too clever at sucking up for your own good... before you know it, i'll be hearing about a new girlfriend by the time you come back to gravity falls, huh?"

pacifica tucks a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, revealing more of her face along with her signature purple hoop earring; to which dipper's blush intensifies.

"maybe... it's not a bad thing, right?"

"i will sue you! i will sue you and i will own you!"

gideon, pacifica, and dipper share a victorious look as mabel threatens the lilliputtians from the outside of the gold course. though, those looks were wiped off their faces as soon as the latter turns back to look at them.

"look, i don't have any idea what just happened right now," mabel speaks, pointing a finger at pacifica, "but if you think—"

the guilt-ridden blonde cuts off the angry mage, handing her a turquoise-colored sticker with bubbly text which reads 'i a-paw-logize', featuring a mini illustration of a small—yet adorable—puppy.

"i'm sorry mabel," pacifica apologizes, rubbing her arm in shame, "i should've let you beat me fair-and-square."

mabel looks down at the sticker in her hand, inspecting it with a look of indifference as she raises her eyebrow. then, after a small moment, she looks back up at her arch-rival; reverting back to her casual behaviour, but visibly calmer.

she replies as she pats the sticker on her teal polo, "you're just lucky this sticker looks good on me."

pacifica smiles, a sense of hope and the idea of finally leaving this feud between them in the past. although mabel isn't as joyous, a hint of a grin graces her face, showing that the feeling is mutual.

then, a tap on the former's shoulder along with the sound of someone clearing their throat causes pacifica to turn around, finding the other gleeful twin holding a rose, looking more shy and sympathetic than he's ever been in his life.

"i believe i owe you an apology as well, sunshine," dipper says nervously, "it wasn't right to toy with someone's feelings, especially somebody who's kindhearted as you—"

"can it, gleeful." pacifica cuts off coldly, which is rather out of character for the bubbly blonde.

"you've got to try harder if you think i'm trusting you again."

twenty years have passed...

twenty years since dipper had mysteriously disappeared... the real dipper pines, that is...

and as much as pacifica hated to admit it... the search for her former partner is getting more and more difficult with each passing day.

when she looks at herself in the mirror first thing in the morning, she doesn't even recognize herself anymore, but it wasn't her looks she was thinking about... in fact, she aged gracefully and managed to stay as radiant as ever.

though, as someone who's been self-absorbed in their personal vanity throughout their whole life, pacifica doesn't see the point anymore. what's a couple wrinkles compared to losing someone who actually meant something to her?

so instead of the natural blonde that remains in her hair, or her designer top, pacifica looks into her eyes and sees someone who's stopped living twenty years ago.

in her reflection, pacifica sees nothing more than a shell of who she used to be.

however, today, she decides to try something different. since she's heard word of the new twins that have come to town, descendants of 'dipper' that are staying in gravity falls for the summer.

especially the six-fingered child. something about him reminds pacifica of the man she once dated—but she can't put her finger on it...

she goes to her walk-in closet, rummaging through the deepest corners to pull out... a-ha!

it wasn't anything special, no name to it, unlike her designer top, but the worn-out, slightly oversized cotton orange shirt brought some warmth to pacifica's cheeks as well as a heartfelt smile.

so, she replaces her slim-fitting lavender top with the worn-out shirt. seriously, it's a miracle how this shirt hasn't managed to get any moth holes in it or gradually fall apart after multiple washes...

then again, as long as that shirt's in pacifica's care, she can take care of that shirt for as long as she's willing to.

she has to—because it means that one day, he'll come back, and who knows if he needs something decent to wear.

after a few more months pass since the young pines twins have returned home, christmas has come to both piedmont and gravity falls—and though the feeling is supposed to be merry all around, it's not exactly the case for either dipper and mabel this holiday season.

with the possibility of their parents' separation being more and more of a reality each day, it's also becoming more and more difficult to keep spirits up—even for the shooting star.

but not all hope is lost—because today, the pines family has gone out to do their christmas shopping, and mabel was obviously looking forward to restocking on yarn for more sweaters to knit for her friends and family back in oregon.

dipper on the other hand, was stuck. not only did he not have the slightest clue on what to get for the others, but his mind was simply too pre-occupied with his parents' situation to even distract himself by consumerist indulgence.

"hel-lo! earth to dipper!"

the sound of mabel's voice was enough to pull her brother from his thoughts.

"c'mon bro-bro, i'm all stocked on yarn but you haven't touched anything yet... what gives?"

he sighs, clearly not interested in talking about their current familial situation, "i just... don't know what to get anyone. stan and ford are practically neck-deep with treasure, soos and melody are more interested in raising funds to improve the shack, wendy and her family are visiting relatives out-of-town, and pacifica—"

"ooh, pacifica~" mabel teases in a singsongy tone, smirking.

dipper blushes, but continues: "pacifica has everything. well, she lost all her ponies and the yacht after weirdmaggedon, but what do you get someone who has the money to get anything?"

as he crosses his arms, dipper leans back against a nearby wall and sinks down to the ground; bowing his head into his arms as if suggesting defeat.

so, mabel sits down as well, placing a hand on his shoulder: "dipper, you're the smart one here. if i was the one upset about being unable to find the right gift, what would you say?"

he raises his head slightly, giving only a peek at his sister: "i dunno, something about how christmas shouldn't be about gifts, but the people you care about?"

"ding-ding-ding!" she cheers, smiling proudly.

"okay, but it doesn't change anything. stan and ford are probably still out in the middle of the atlantic or pacific ocean or whatever, wendy's not even in town, and everyone else is with their own families. so what does that solve?"

the once bright, encouraging grin on mabel's face begins to falter, disheartened by dipper's sadness.

however, he catches sight of this, beginning to feel worse by his own actions. after all, his sister was only trying to lift his spirits and make him feel better. he told her what had been going on between their parents before they left for gravity falls in the beginning of the summer, and she's been trying to look at the bright side even more than usual.

this christmas might've not been perfect, but mabel was trying to make the most of it... maybe dipper should as well.

"i'm sorry, mabel. i've been too much of a buzzkill. the holidays have just been sucky this year... we've never known our family outside of california, but now that we do, i guess i wish we could've gotten together this year. things haven't been great since mom and dad... yunno... and things aren't getting better..."

"i know, dipper." mabel says, a mix of bitterness and disappointment in her voice.

"—but we have each other. we've had each other our whole lives, so at least there's one thing that can save this christmas from completely being the worst."

mabel sniffles, holding back her tears as she smiles at her brother.

"let's go home, bro-bro... i have a feeling that it'll feel better being there than at the mall."

so, the pines family leave the mall, returning home to rest before dinner. while mabel is beginning to knit sweaters for candy and grenda with the help of waddles, dipper plays dungeons, dungeons, and more dungeons with their father; leaving their mother to cook dinner for the family.

however, beknownst to her children, mrs. pines prepares a dinner that is definitely much more than four stomachs to fill.

as the family is occupied with their own activities, the ring of the doorbell along with a knock at the front door gets the attention of everyone in the household.

"dipper, mabel, could one of you please get the door?" their mother asks, remaining at the stove.

"not it!"

"not it—augh."

mr. pines smiles at his son amusedly, nudging his head towards the door.

"maybe next time, dip."

getting up from the floor, dipper walks towards the front door.

who could it be? he asks in thought, it wouldn't make sense if it was a food delivery, especially when's mom's already cooking.

nevertheless, dipper turns the doorknob, to which he's met with—

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

he couldn't believe it.

"grunkle stan?! grunkle ford?! soos?! melody?!"

as their names take mabel away from her knitting, she dashes towards the front; squealing and jumping into the arms of her grunkles.

"you've made it! you really made it!"

dipper, taken aback by his sister's words, asks, "mabel, what are you talking about? they never told us they were coming."

"correction, bro-bro: they never told you they were coming," mabel says, "but actually, they didn't tell me they were coming—not if i was the one to invite them over!"

"what?! what about mom and dad?"

"why do you think mom's been cooking a lot since we got back home?"

the sound of their dad's voice causes dipper to turn around. jaw dropping, his shock intensifies as he realizes that their parents were in it too.

"we totally got you dude!" soos exclaims, laughing with melody, "just look at the look on your face!"

"what about candy? grenda?? wendy???" mabel asks excitedly, tugging on stan's dress-shirt.

"sorry, pumpkin," stan apologies nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, "of course they wanted to come over, but they have their own families to spend the holidays with. i hope you're not too upset, honey."

"besides, you still have one friend who'd rather drop dead than spend christmas with her own family, anyways."

as the four visitors step aside, another familiar face is revealed to be in their company.

same old blonde bangs and bouffant, same atlantic eyes, but in place of her signature purple eyeshadow, she wears silver with a subtle red to frame her eyelids paired with a slightly-muted matte red lipstick. instead of her diamond-shaped earrings, are diamond-encrusted snowflakes, her classic purple outfit replaced with a lake foam green chiffon dress stopping at the knee with a fur wrap that is white as snow, finally completing the look with a pair of pumped-up silver louboutins (remember, pacifica is less rich, not flat-out broke).

"pacifica?" dipper says, his cheeks turning into a very faint pink.

"lied to my parents that i was going to the bahamas with tiffany, alexis, and tiffany's parents—thank god they make good alibis."

mabel's squeals cut off the blonde as she rushes over to her old enemy-turned-frenemy-turned-friend; the former pulling the latter into a crushing hug.

"AHH! PACIFICA!!" mabel screams in excitement. "i'm so glad you're here with us for christmas!"

"so, you must be the pacifica our mabel and dipper have been telling us about," mrs. pines approaches, rubbing her hands off on a kitchen towel, "i've heard a lot of things about you."

the child's eyes widen, immediately turning bashful: "um, more good things than bad, right?"

"of course," mr. pines answers, "we knew mabel would take a liking to you, but dipper? well, i—"

"okay!" dipper intervenes, laughing rather too loudly for comfort. he takes pacifica's hand, leading her into their home. "i think that's enough of that! everyone, come in!"

pacifica giggles at the boy's awkwardness, her cheeks growing a tad warm.

"glad to see you too, nerd."

"my wittle giddy-widdy! i need your help—"

"you're the worst."

and with that, gideon shuts the door, already heading back to the armchair before he hears the same pounding on the front door a second time.

"mabel?! let me answer!" pacifica beams in excitement, causing gideon to shrug and continue to make his way back to the television.

"go nuts," he deadpans.

"hey, mabel!" pacifica waves, smiling brightly, "what brings you here?"

"oh, hey pacifica," mabel replies, instantly losing her enthusiasm, "there's something haunting gleeful manor—"

"it's true, sunshine," dipper says, smiling at her, "if your cousin can't help us, our party could be ruined."

"okay, first of all, you're the worst." pacifica narrows her eyes, glaring daggers at the gleeful brother before turning back to his twin, "the party? you mean the same party your family throws at gleeful manor every year?!"

"yes, this party," mabel answers indifferently.

"hmm..." the blonde hums, tapping her chin in false thought, "i suppose i can convince gideon to help you guys."

"really?!" mabel asks, suddenly beaming.

"i guess..." pacifica draws out in response, "but in exchange, he's going to need three extra tickets to the party."

"what?!"

gideon's attention breaks away from the television once more, returning to the front door to clarify what he just heard. he tugs his cousin's arm, pulling her aside to speak to her in private.

"pazzy, these are the gleefuls! the same pair of twins who tried to kill us earlier this summer?!" he says in a hushed voice.

"but it's tiffany and alexis' dream!" she explains.

the two then turn to pacifica's friends, still by the television.

"DREAM~"

gideon then sighs in defeat, turning back to dipper and mabel.

"you heard her, it's three tickets or nothing."

"aah! i don't understand—what could i have possibly done to warrant this much arrest?!"

today's the day. after twenty years, pacifica had finally done it. she had caught that imposter; resolving the last piece in the puzzle to bring back dipper pines.

stepping outside of the government-owned vehicle, she joins agents lee rianda and nate menville, smiling victoriously as an officer pins the person identifying as 'dipper pines' onto the hood of the car, placing handcuffs onto her wrists.

agent menville takes out a tablet, displaying it in front of the felon, revealing footage of a government waste facility.

"at 0400 hours last night, we've noticed footage of an unknown party stealing three hundred gallons of hazardous waste."

"that's not me!"

pacifica, having just about enough of this con-artist's cover-up, steps up, raising a finger, pushing dipper's chin up.

"don't play dumb, pines. we all know it's you. you're as guilty as stealing that nuclear waste just as much as you're guilty for committing identity theft and causing a disappearance!"

the northwest was by no means, as smart as her ex-partner, but she used her strengths where they were needed.

she had connections. people she knew who specialized in genealogy, the kind of people who could scientifically prove that the apprehended woman before everyone wasn't really the person she claimed to be.

because of this, the evidence made the poor woman all the more incriminating to the government agents; fueling the grounds on which she were to be arrested for.

"miss northwest, you're making a mistake! sure, grauntie dipper might shoplift the occasional sticker sheet here and there, but she wouldn't make herself a threat to national security."

feeling guilty for the confusion and childlike naïvety that the young stanley pines was experiencing, she walks over to him, squatting down to his level and placing a empathetic hand on his shoulder.

"look, hon, these guys may have been watching your grauntie all summer—but i've known about her ever since i've moved here. i know i've been nothing but civil to you ever since you boys have come to town, but what you need to know is that your grauntie is not what she seems."

"you're lying!" stan accuses, pointing a finger up at her. "a-are you?"

"i wish i was... but the truth is... uglier than i'd like to talk about."

A/N: that's the end of the first part! if you want more, don't worry! i have a lot more coming! unfortunately, i reached the limit of 30 photos per post, so i'm going to have to make this a two-parter! basically, what i wanted to do here is work on three arcs in one! the thing that i really love about gravity falls, really comes down the endless possibilities! i've heard so much about the reverse falls au, but the relativity falls au is also brand-new to me. also, when it comes down to it, i really am just a sucker for multiverses (one of my first gravity falls fanfics was a crossover between this show and rick and morty—it was for a creative writing class in high school). i'm not sure if i'm 100% certain if i'm going to post the second part, because if anything, this was mainly me yapping about how i see dipcifica becoming official in not just the canon universe, but also the other au's i've included here. but if this turns out to be interesting for you guys, i might as well try to finish it.

in the meantime—please please please tell me what you think of this! i wanna know about your guys' interpretations of dipcifica in both canon+other au's! or maybe just other au's in general, since there are slightly different interpretations in both relative and relativity falls... i noticed that i've had more fun writing relativity falls, probably because that au is more new to me than reverse falls...

now that i'm yapping here, i gotta cut this short and get into the next part of this... fic?

and if you actually read through all this and got to this part—thank you so much :') it's been fun writing this so far, especially since this has heavily distracted me from the pain of my wisdom teeth extractions.

[prismalmelonman]

So much trans advice I see online is mainly for trans femmes/trans women (in the vein like "estrogen will do x, t and z, be careful!" And things like "testosterone blockers will so these things too") and that's really awesome and I'm glad the girls got each other,

but most of the advice for trans guys i had to seek out myself. (And I still don't know like much past "testosterone makes you retain body heat" and I don't know about any of the other effects like stuff for trans girls being a diuretic and can make hydration harder most of the side effects lists for testosterone therapy don't mention those things despite my hours worth of research) And yeah it's good to do your own research, but like I have to get my warnings from scientific journals and whatnot. I'm not qualified to give any of the advice bc I'm still pre-everything (hormones, surgery). Like social transition is all I have rn. Anyway if there's any good like resources made by trans men/mascs for trans men/mascs please drop it below and we can help our fellow guys out! 🫶

But yeah any trans guys that can offer some health advice regarding post-op, hrt, effects of testosterone and so on, it'd be super appreciated!

[copperpipes]

I spec bio'ed Ultraman from Ultraman:Rising for fun (part 1)

the actual file I've written (and still writing) is now far over 2k words, so I desided to break it down to a series of posts so that it would be easier to digest, but if you don't want to wait for me to get them one by one out you can just go and read that long ass file yourself/lh

I understand that the film wasn't meant to be looked into on this level, at the end of the day this is just fan speculative biology, not an official theory, nor is it law, if you find a scientific inaccuracy i'll gladly hear you out in the comments to this post. but essentially what i'm doing here is having fun in my own silly little way :]

I've done some research into ultra physiology and some things didn't make sense to me, partially because there are more than one iteration all with their own worldbuilding, but I'll do my best to try and piece them all together without losing the source material too much.

[updated ultra Kenji design]

(The rest under cut) vvv

fact no.1

ultras are aliens and before they were ultras they were humans (or humanoids, or human-like, i'd like to believe so and i will do you one better).

not going to spoil much but something happened, and they were forced to build this thing called the ultra-spark to keep their civilization going, and the ultra-spark turned them all into giants, ultras.

fact no.2

the weapons ultraman uses (those buzzsaws thingies, shields, beams and glowing fists) are made out of something called spacium energy, positive running through the right side of ultraman’s body and negative running through the left, with the spacium beam appearing when he connects those energies by crossing his arms.

fact no.3

Ultraman himself is made of spacium energy and its presence is vital for him to exist. the ultra-spark is what gave and gives the ultra species spacium energy, ultras can also produce it on their own using other types of energy (solar energy on earth for example) but are not as efficient as the source material, hence why on earth ultraman’s energy runs out quicker then it would for example in space where energy is more abundant.

What is spacium wasn't completely clear to me, what I understood was that Ultraman has it (I think it was his skin that was made out of spacium?) and uses it to convert solar energy into spacium energy. 

I think spacium is meant to be an original element. and from what a mutual kindly told me (thank you @bazookaboi!!) its atomic number is 133. very very unstable in natural environments and extremely radioactive, so with all due respect allow me to ignore that entirely and let it remain a mystery for everyone’s sake.

fact no.4

ultras as a culture have a very strong sense of justice and moral code. (and I guess very emotionally intelligent? empathetic? but i'm not sure about this part ;-;)

Now let us finally start with the Ultra spec bio:

i'll start from the less obvious half for my own sake, you may skip this part if you're here just for Kenji’s human part (which i won't blame you for the designers cooked with this one) but just so you know there would be parts you won't be able to understand.

general ultra spec bio: physiology and body structure (my favorite part):

Do ultras breathe? was my first question and my answer would be, i don't think so.

down to the cellular level cells use oxygen in order to generate chemical energy that comes in the form of ATP, out of glucose and oxygen with ATP and CO2 as the outcome. (The difference between animal and plant cells is how they get their glucose.)

Now ultras don't seem to eat, and why would they? and breathing is not necessary since they already get the energy they need from spacium converting outside energy into spacium energy, on the outside there’s the spacium, and on the inside there’s the spacium energy just running around. it can be let out in certain areas of the body, but essentially this energy is all held together by the ultra’s skin (also probably why ultras have no openings on their body, so there wouldn't be a leakage of their life soup).

An ultra's internal structure is unknown, or at least I haven't been able to find anything on the matter, but in the movie both Kenji and his dad get injured, which means that there is something to be damaged.

i really like how the film handles injury actually, it shows explicitly the consequences of a serious injury and how it can sometimes be a life changing thing. It has a blatant effect long or short term and I need someone to analyze it more in depth. I know someone will eventually.

part 1

All the people who wanted this, i call thee.

next, part 2

@wtf-a-psychoanalysis @fantasma-espacial @spuuks-s @theviewer @whimsicalloser @m1lf-hunter-69

[deadandphilgames]

A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)

Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.

In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.

Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.

It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.

This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.

Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.

All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.

Love and good luck.

- Dan

[sluttycinderella]

Razorgate: an empirical, peer reviewed study*

*there is nothing genuinely scientific about this, it is merely a result of mental illness and unemployment.

So we all saw this right?

But after this bomb was dropped I began to get curious about the other slittenings. Did they use the same razor for all of them and no one had noticed? Do they actually own more than one razor? And if they don't, if this is truly the only phrazor, then I don't think I have to tell you that raises a lot of questions.

Firstly, I went back to where this all began, Phil's Birthday stream, to identify the razor that carved the very first slit and forever cemented itself as a part of herstory:

Now that is very clearly the Manscaped logo, no question about it. Here’s a high quality photo of the logo for comparison:

(You can also clearly see in the Twitter post that it says "Manscaped" across it but I like to double check my work and I also wanted to prove that they were both Manscaped)

And it's a good thing I did double check because OP made a CRITICAL ERROR in their post! They claim that the razor in question is the Lawn Mower 4.0 when in fact it's the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra! Unlike the PUNY, PATHETIC, UNMANLY 4.0, the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra comes with an interchangeable foil blade, a USB port, and a more advanced spotlight!

How could OP be so careless? Dan and Phil would never own an outdated razor! They require only the finest in ball shaving technology!

Also fun fact: The first appearance of the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra on the Manscaped YouTube channel falls right in between the dapg return announcement and their first video back so make of that what you will...I for one shall be sculpting my own hill out of the very earth itself, "Manscaped Sponsorship Hill", I encourage you all to join me.

So after spending far too long researching the intricacies of razors that shave an organ I don't even have, I now needed to check if it was the same razor being used in every slittening:

Here they are side by side for comparison, left is Phil’s birthday, middle is the We're All Doomed post-premiere, right is Dan’s birthday. Now it appears the WAD one is missing the logo but I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to the poor quality of the clip I found (if anyone has a better version PLEASE hit me up so I can confirm my hypothesis). And considering the photo taken in the aftermath seems to show Phil holding the 5.0 Ultra:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the same thing.

“But,” I hear you shouting, “so what if Dan and Phil used the same razor for all the streams? They already said they only owned one razor so who cares?” Well this isn’t so much about proving that they’re the same razor as it is establishing a baseline. It’s hard to trust basically anything Dan and Phil say lately, what with piggate and the “pillow” bar and the fake view from the Phouse, knowing that they aren’t lying about only having one razor (to the best of our knowledge) is crucial in figuring out what exactly is going on. Remember, we’re doing science here.

And with that in mind: In my professional opinion, I can say that for all three slittenings, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra was the weapon of choice.

Sidenote: I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of Manscaped reviews during all of this and apparently Manscaped razors are kind of just a scam. This razor is $109 and they try to trick their customers into subscribing to their "Peak Hygiene Plan" which you don't actually need by offering a deceptive discount and hiding the terms where people aren't likely to see them. So yeah, fuck Manscaped and I for one think we should cancel Dan and Phil for not ethically consuming under capitalism.

But that's beside the point, we know that they indeed only have one razor and that that razor...is for balls. What does that tell us?

Conclusions

There are a multitude of conclusions one could jump to in the light of such a revelation, I shall display them in a convenient numbered list for your viewing pleasure:

One of them prefers to use straight (lol) razors to shave their...you know...I don't actually know if this is a thing people do or if it's even possible, people with balls please sound off in the comments, thank you

Only one of them actually shaves in which case I support them as an infamous pussy hair enthusiast (iykyk)

They share a razor (Please, God, no, that's actually disgusting)

Either way, this thing was on someone's balls and then it touched both their faces so I really hope they cleaned it properly!

Alright, so that whole exploration may have been a bit useless, it indeed only confirmed what we had already been told, but I spent literal hours comparing photos of ball hair trimmers and I'm not one to admit defeat. Consider yourselves peer reviewed, Dan and Phil, and maybe check out Beardscape instead! Apparently they have better, more comprehensive razors for the same price.

If anyone even more demon than me has any corroborating evidence (maybe of them using straight razors at any point or anything else razor related that they've said in the past) please let me know so I can take it into consideration! Thank you all for your time.

[oviraptoridae]

research & development is ongoing

since using jukebox for sampling material on albedo, i've been increasingly interested in ethically using ai as a tool to incorporate more into my own artwork. recently i've been experimenting with "commoncanvas", a stable diffusion model trained entirely on works in the creative commons. though i do not believe legality and ethics are equivalent, this provides me peace of mind that all of the training data was used consensually through the terms of the creative commons license. here's the paper on it for those who are curious! shoutout to @reachartwork for the inspiration & her informative posts about her process!

part 1: overview

i usually post finished works, so today i want to go more in depth & document the process of experimentation with a new medium. this is going to be a long and image-heavy post, most of it will be under the cut & i'll do my best to keep all the image descriptions concise.

for a point of reference, here is a digital collage i made a few weeks ago for the album i just released (shameless self promo), using photos from wikimedia commons and a render of a 3d model i made in blender:

and here are two images i made with the help of common canvas (though i did a lot of editing and post-processing, more on that process in a future post):

more about my process & findings under the cut, so this post doesn't get too long:

quick note for my setup: i am running this model locally on my own machine (rtx 3060, ubuntu 23.10), using the automatic1111 web ui. if you are on the same version of ubuntu as i am, note that you will probably have to build python 3.10.6 yourself (and be sure to use 'make altinstall' instead of 'make install' and change the line in the webui to use 'python3.10' instead of 'python3'. just mentioning this here because nobody else i could find had this exact problem and i had to figure it out myself)

part 2: initial exploration

all the images i'll be showing here are the raw outputs of the prompts given, with no retouching/regenerating/etc.

so: commoncanvas has 2 different types of models, the "C" and "NC" models, trained on their database of works under the CC Commercial and Non-Commercial licenses, respectively (i think the NC dataset also includes the commercial license works, but i may be wrong). the NC model is larger, but both have their unique strengths:

"a cat on the computer", "C" model

"a cat on the computer", "NC" model

they both take the same amount of time to generate (17 seconds for four 512x512 images on my 3060). if you're really looking for that early ai jank, go for the commercial model. one thing i really like about commoncanvas is that it's really good at reproducing the styles of photography i find most artistically compelling: photos taken by scientists and amateurs. (the following images will be described in the captions to avoid redundancy):

"grainy deep-sea rover photo of an octopus", "NC" model. note the motion blur on the marine snow, greenish lighting and harsh shadows here, like you see in photos taken by those rover submarines that scientists use to take photos of deep sea creatures (and less like ocean photography done for purely artistic reasons, which usually has better lighting and looks cleaner). the anatomy sucks, but the lighting and environment is perfect.

"beige computer on messy desk", "NC" model. the reflection of the flash on the screen, the reddish-brown wood, and the awkward angle and framing are all reminiscent of a photo taken by a forum user with a cheap digital camera in 2007.

so the noncommercial model is great for vernacular and scientific photography. what's the commercial model good for?

"blue dragon sitting on a stone by a river", "C" model. it's good for bad CGI dragons. whenever i request dragons of the commercial model, i either get things that look like photographs of toys/statues, or i get gamecube type CGI, and i love it.

here are two little green freaks i got while trying to refine a prompt to generate my fursona. (i never succeeded, and i forget the exact prompt i used). these look like spore creations and the background looks like a bryce render. i really don't know why there's so much bad cgi in the datasets and why the model loves going for cgi specifically for dragons, but it got me thinking...

"hollow tree in a magical forest, video game screenshot", "C" model

"knights in a dungeon, video game screenshot", "C" model

i love the dreamlike video game environments and strange CGI characters it produces-- it hits that specific era of video games that i grew up with super well.

part 3: use cases

if you've seen any of the visual art i've done to accompany my music projects, you know that i love making digital collages of surreal landscapes:

(this post is getting image heavy so i'll wrap up soon)

i'm interested in using this technology more, not as a replacement for my digital collage art, but along with it as just another tool in my toolbox. and of course...

... this isn't out of lack of skill to imagine or draw scifi/fantasy landscapes.

thank you for reading such a long post! i hope you got something out of this post; i think it's a good look into the "experimentation phase" of getting into a new medium. i'm not going into my post-processing / GIMP stuff in this post because it's already so long, but let me know if you want another post going into that!

good-faith discussion and questions are encouraged but i will disable comments if you don't behave yourselves. be kind to each other and keep it P.L.U.R.

[communistkenobi]

Hi, genuine good faith question if you'd like! How is TOS racist? It was my understanding that the OG Series was like, huge for equality in media?

I’m speaking primarily about the content of TOS itself, not its historical impact - I understand it had various historic firsts in terms of having characters of colour in respectable roles, which I’m not dismissing. My experience with the discourse on here surrounding the show is that people front-load these character representations as emblematic of the show’s progressive politics. Which, if we want to go that route, TOS was contemporary to the US civil rights movement, which provides us with a handy measuring stick to see how TOS actually grapples with race, not just the presence of characters of colour themselves. I'm going to be kind of defensive in this explanation, not towards you specifically, but because I have had this conversation with people online many, many, many times, and so any defensiveness on my part is in anticipation of arguments I know will come up as a result of making the basic claim that a show made in America in the 1960s is racist. I'm also going to be copy + pasting from an older post I've made on the subject since it's been a while now since I've watched TOS so some of the details are fuzzy.

Like okay, the premise of TOS is that the Enterprise, as an ambassador of Starfleet/the Federation, is seeking out new alien life to study. The Prime Directive prohibits the Enterprise crew from interfering with the development of any alien culture or people while they do this, so the research they collect needs to be done in an unobtrusive way. I think this is the first point at which people balk at the argument that TOS is racist or has a colonial conception of the world - the Enterprise’s mission is premised on non-interference, and I think when people hear ‘colonial’ as a descriptor they (understandably, obviously) assume it is describing active conquest, genocide, and dispossession. Even setting aside all the times where Kirk does directly interfere with the “development” of a people or culture (usually because they’ve “stagnated” culturally, because a culture "without conflict" cannot evolve or “develop” beyond its current presumed capacity - he is pretty explicitly imposing his own values onto another culture in order to force them to change in a particular way), or the times when the Enterprise is actually looking to extract resources from a given planet or people, I’m not exactly making this claim, or rather, that’s not the only thing I’m describing when calling TOS racist/colonial.

The show's presentation of scientific discovery and inquiry is anthropological - the “object” of analysis is alien/foreign culture, meaning that when the Enterprise crew comes into contact with a new being or person, this person is always read first and foremost through the level of (the Enterprise’s understanding of) culture. Their behaviour, beliefs, dress, way of speaking, appearance, and so on are always reflective of their culture as a whole, and more importantly, that their racial or phenotypic characteristics define the boundaries of their culture. Put another way, culture is interpreted, navigated, and bound racially - the show presents aliens as a Species, but these species are racially homogeneous, flattening race to a natural, biological difference that is always physically apparent and presented through the lens of scientific objectivity, as "species" is a unit of biological taxonomy. Basically species is a shorthand for race. This is the standard of most sci-fi/fantasy genre work, so this is not a sin unique to Star Trek.

Because of this however, Kirk and Co are never really interacting with individuals, they are interacting with components of a (foreign, exotic, fundamentally different) culture, the same way we understand that a biologist can generalize about a species using the example of an individual 'specimen'. And when the Enterprise interacts with these cultures, they very frequently measure them using a universalized scale of development - they have a teleological (which is to say, evolutionary) view of culture, ie, that all cultures go from savage to rational, primitive to advanced, economically simple to economically complex (ie, to capitalist modes of production). And the metrics they are judging these cultures by are fundamentally Western ones, always emphasising to the audience that the final destination of all cultures (that are worthy of advancing beyond their current limited/“primitive” stages) is a culture identical to the Federation, a culture that can itself engage in this anthropological mission to catalogue all life as fitting within a universal set of practices and racial similarities they call “culture.”

This is a western, colonial understanding of culture - racially and spatially homogeneous people comprise the organs of a social totality, ie, a society, which can then be analysed as an “object,” as a “phenomenon,” by the scientists in order to extract information from them to produce and advance state (ie Federation) knowledge. The Enterprise crew are allowed to be individuals, are allowed to be subjects with a capacity for reason, contradiction, emotion, compassion, and even moments of savagery or violence, without those things being assigned to their “race” or “culture” as a whole, but the people they interact with are only components of a whole which are “discovered” by the Enterprise as opportunities to expand and refine the Federation’s body of knowledge.

Spock is actually a good example of what I'm talking about, because he is an exception to this rule - unlike the others in the crew, his behaviour is always read as a symptom of his innate Vulcan-ness, where his human and Vulcan halves war for dominance in his mind and character. Bones (the doctor, one of the main cast) constantly comments on Spock's inability to feel things, that he is callous and unsympathetic, ruled by Vulcan logic to such an extreme that his rationality is a form of irrationality, as his Vulcan blood prohibits him from tempering logic with human emotion and intuition. Now you can argue that Bones is a stand-in for the racists of the world, that Spock proves Bones wrong in that he is able to feel but merely keeps it under wraps, that Vulcans are not biologically incapable of emotion but merely live in a socially repressive culture, but this still engages in the racial logic of the show - Vulcans are a racially-bound species with a single monolithic culture, and Spock's ability to express and feel 'human emotions' is the metric by which he is granted human subjectivity and sympathy.

And on the flip side you have the Klingons - a “race” that is uniformly savage, backward, violent, and dangerous. In the episode Day of the Dove, where Klingons board the Enterprise along with an alien cloud that makes everyone suddenly aggressive and racist (this show is insane lol), the Enterprise crew begins acting violent and racist, but the Klingons don’t change. They aren’t more violent than before (because they already were fundamentally violent and racist), and they don’t become less violent when the cloud eventually leaves (because they are never able to emerge from their violence and savagery as a social condition or external imposition - they simply are that way). Klingons are racially, behaviourally, psychologically, and culturally homogeneous, universally violent and immune to reason, and their racial characteristics are both physical manifestations of this universal violence as well as the origin of it. The writers and creators of TOS are explicitly invoking the orientalist idea of the “Mongolian horde,” representing both the American fear of Soviet global takeover as well as blatantly racist fears about “Asiatics” (a word used in the show, particularly in The Omega Glory where a fear of racialised communist takeover is made explicit) dominating the world.

This is colonial thinking! Like, fundamentally, at its core, this is colonial white supremacist thinking. Now this is not because TOS invents these tropes or is the origin of them, it is not individually responsible for these racial and colonial logics - these conceptions are endemic to Western thought, and I am not expecting a television show to navigate its way outside of this current colonial paradigm of scientific knowledge. I’m also not expecting an average person watching this to pick out all the intricacies of this and link it to the colonial history of Europe or the colonial history of western philosophy/thought. But this base premise of Star Trek is why the show is fundamentally colonial - even if it was the case that the crew never intervened in any alien conflict, never extracted any material resources from other people, this would still be colonial logic and colonial thinking. The show has a fundamentally colonial imagination when it comes to exploration, discovery, and culture.

I think a good place to end is the opening sequence. The show's first line is always "Space! The final frontier." I do not think the word frontier is meant metaphorically or poetically - I think the show is being honest about its conception of space as an infinitely vast, infinitely exotic frontier from which a globally Western civilisation (which the Enterprise is an emblem of) can extract resources, be they material or epistemic

[transmutationisms]

genq what are the actual reasons that plagiarism is bad apart from profit and prestige?

so there are two main angles i usually think of here, which ultimately converge into some related issues in public discourse and knowledge production.

firstly, plagiarism should not just be understood as a violation one individual perpetuates against another; it has a larger role in processes of epistemological violence and suppression of certain people's arguments, ideas, and labour. consider the following three examples of plagiarism that is not at all counter to current structures of knowledge production, but rather undergirds them:

in colonial expeditions and encounters from roughly the 14th century onward, a repeated and common practice among european explorer-naturalists was to rely on indigenous people's knowledge of botany, geography, natural history, and so forth, but to then go on to publish this knowledge in their own native tongues (meaning most of the indigenous people they had learned from could not access, read, or respond to such publications), with little, vague, or no attribution to their correspondents, guides, hosts, &c. (many many examples; allison bigelow's 'mining language' discusses this in 16th and 17th century american mining, with a linguistic analysis foregrounded)

throughout the renaissance and early modern period, in contexts where european women were generally not welcome to seek university education, it was nonetheless common practice for men of science to rely on their wives, sisters, and other family members not just to keep house, but also to contribute to their scientific work as research assistants, translators, fund-raisers, &c. attribution practices varied but it is very commonly the case that when (if ever) historians revisit the biographies of famous men of science, they discover women around these men who were actively contributing to their intellectual work, to an extent previously unknown or downplayed (off the top of my head, marie-anne lavoisier; emma darwin; caroline herschel; rosalie lamarck; mileva marić-einstein...)

it is standard practice today for university professors to run labs where their research assistants are grad students and postdocs; to rely on grad students, undergrads, and postdocs to contribute to book projects and papers; and so forth. again, attribution varies, but generally speaking the credit for academic work goes to the faculty member at the head of the project, maybe with a few research assistants credited secondarily, and the rest of the lab / department / project uncredited or vaguely thanked in the acknowledgments.

in all of these cases, you can see how plagiarism is perpetuated by pre-existing inequities and structures of exploitation, and in turn helps perpetuate those structures by continuing to discursively erase the existence of people made socially marginal in the process of knowledge production. so, what's at stake here is more than just the specific individuals whose work has been presented as someone else's discovery (though of course this is unjust already!); it's also the structural factors that make academic and intellectual discourse an élite, exclusive activity that most people are barred from participating in. a critique of plagiarism therefore needs to move beyond the idea that a number of wronged individuals ought to be credited for their ideas (though again, they should be) and instead turn to the structures that create positions of epistemological authority under the aegis of capitalist entities: universities, legacy as well as new media outlets, and so forth. the issue here is the positions of prestige themselves, regardless of who holds them; they are, definitionally, not instruments of justice or open discourse.

secondly, there's the effect plagiarism has on public discourse and the dissemination of knowledge. this is an issue because plagiarism by definition obscures the circulation and origin of ideas, as well as a full understanding of the labour process that produces knowledge. you can see in the above examples how the attribution of other people's ideas as your own works to turn you into a mythologised sort of lone genius figure, whose role is now to spread your brilliance unidirectionally to the masses. as a result, the vast majority of people are now doubly shut out of any public discourse or debate, except as passive recipients of articles, posts, &c. you can't trace claims easily, you don't see the vast number of people who actually contribute to any given idea, and this all works to protect the class and professional interests of the select few who do manage to attain élite intellectual status, by reinforcing and widening the created gap between expert and layperson (a distinction that, again, tracks heavily along lines of race, gender, and so forth).

so you can see how these two issues really are part of one and the same structural problem, which is knowledge production as a tool of power, and one that both follows from and reinforces existing class hierarchies. in truth, knowledge is usually a collaborative affair (who among us has ever had a truly original idea...) and attributions should be a way of both acknowledging our debts to other people, and creating transparency in our efforts to stake claims and develop ideas. but, as long as there are benefits, both economic and social, to be gained from presenting yourself as an originator of knowledge, people will continue to be incentivised to do this. plagiarism is not an exception or an aberration; it's at best a very predictable outcome of the operating logics of this 'knowledge economy', and at worst—as in the examples above—a normal part of how expert knowledge is produced, and its value protected, in a system that is by design inequitable and exclusive.

[glassrowboat]

Ruffled Crow. Dottore.

Really just a few headcanons.

Dottore, once upon a time, used to be really bad about safety measures once upon a time, but now there's eyelash stations in every section of his lab along with showers and signs to remind people to wear their safety glasses on every door. Though, he did assign the task of handling that to his segments.

Each segments hair is synthetic, so instead of it being able to grow itself they would have to uproot their hair and fix a new one much like you would do a doll for their new wig (aka the good old push pin method) if they wish to change it.

Dottore has a chemical burn under his mask from an experiment gone awry that caused one of his eyes to go blind. Nowadays, it's been changed out for a robotic eye. It may or may not be like bluetooth connected to the monitor on his mask.

The bracelet Yelan lost that she cherished as family heirloom was actually made by him. When he was in that lab in Liyue (Childe’s story quest for a reminder) he had started tinkering with the idea of making the prototype for what is now his network with how Dottore communicates with his segments. This is why he ended up breaking out in a hysterical fit of laughter when Pantalone brought it to him one day out of the blue and asked him if he knew what it was. 

He knows how to swing dance. It's just you have to be careful with him because those stupid (cunty) boots of his are a hazard. One time they may have even gotten caught on your pants leg and tripped him. A fact he still denies. 

Dottore has a child segment he finds himself disassembling and reassembling every few years. To see the face his own parents turned away running around with a smile, giddy and without worry, is something that always has his stomach turning without fail. So wouldn't it make sense he simply ignores the thing before he turns it to a pile of parts again? So why is he currently building the little boy again with gritted teeth?

Major sweet tooth. To the point he had done some bullshit scientific method to make the perfect baklava. Still, Dottore finds himself preferring the one his mother made.

He does not have any game. Sorry guys, but this is the same man who prefers to hide away in his lab rather than interact with other people. You can't tell me he knows how to flirt, and it ends up affecting any romantic relationship he has because he knows about such practices in theory, but not in reality. It can make his time with you rather....well, let's just say he tries.

(Welder Dottore is so real in my heart, guys) The reason Dottore's bangs are uneven isn't because of a fashion choice, despite the fact he says it is. Rather, it's because one time when he got too wrapped up in his excitement, Dottore didn't properly secure his hair behind the welding mask, and it caught on fire. The only reason he hasn't let it grow back out is because he knows Pantalone would call him out that it was never a fashion choice in the first place. 

He has worked with Sandrone on multiple projects. Their research tends to lean towards the same subject, so it only makes sense that they have collaborated multiple times even if their interactions can be tense and full of snark. But a like, mind that can challenge your ideas is what Dottore needs so he can reach new heights, no? 

His sharp teeth aren't natural. They're the result of one of his first experiments. After all, he didn't have any willing subjects besides himself now, did he?