#masking cluster

[septembersanctuary]

Masking Cluster — An internal group of system members that aim to mask a system’s large member count and complex structures.

They are often the first system members one speaks about when introducing the system.

[sillynarcissist]

"you can unmask around me! I'm supportive" no you don't understand I will literally ruin this friendship in a day. I will just be a complete asshole. masking is the only way I can interact with other people

[lightningant]

trying to draw all the marauders era characters as i see them and gaslighting myself into being a barty crouch jr fan

[thebibliosphere]

Re-reading Ch28 of Phangs to double-check some details (just as well because I completely fucked up Vlad's room in the next book.) and not to toot my own horn or anything, but it's so fucking funny from an ADHD perspective.

Nathan just walked into a veritable treasure trove of Vlad's psyche.

He's walking around in awe, like, whoa, is that a hand-painted celestial map on the ceiling? Gods, Vlad's so talented. I bet there's nothing he can't do. Oh, a pianoforte! He's musical! Wow, look at all these books. He's so smart. I love how smart he is. I want to fuck his brains out. Oh! Look! A telescope!

As opposed to Vlad, whose internal monologue is: don't look at the mess, don't look at the mess, don't look at the mess. Okay, just act normal. How... how do I do that? Oh gods please don't think I'm weird. Please like me.

I know I wrote him, but he's in such a mood sometimes, lol.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Wishing that I could be softer and sweeter and more loving and affectionate but simultaneously being absolutely disgusted and repulsed and enraged by the very notion is kind of exhausting actually

[autopsyfreak]

expressing emotion + ASPD

{this is only speaking from my own experience}

before i say this i would like to clarify that i do experience emotions, they’re just more muffled than how they would normally be experienced by others.

due to my emotions being muffled by my ASPD, i often have a flat facial expression regardless of how i’m feeling. over the years i’ve had to learn to mask this through almost training myself to move my face in a way that mimics how i’ve seen others express emotion. this involved practicing in the mirror and a lot of confusion regarding understanding when those expressions are deemed as appropriate to do or not in regards to context.

it’s something i don’t see spoken about much but it’s an experience that shaped how i now act in response to my own feelings.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

high masking npd culture is someone getting mad at you for liking their post – which is ridiculous and pathetic – but you apologise and wish them the best because I'm the sweetest kindest most benevolent being ever

.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

ASPD culture is having perfected a "soft and kind" mask over the years to the point where every single person you meet now only wants you for trauma dumping and you're just standing there listening to vent after vent knowing you can't do shit and you also just. Can't be bothered to want to do shit about it.

To other pwASPD who chose the "loving person" mask I feel for you so bad

.

[narcpocalypse]

My narc ass: I am so powerful. I am not afraid of anything, I can kick someone's ass so easily. I am an inspiration. I am a GOD.

Thunder: boom :3

Me: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUCK I'M GONNA DIE FUCK FUCK DEAR GOD FUCK FUCK SHIT

[mirrorobsidian]

Having disorders such as ASPD, Autism, and even DID you mask a lot, sometimes you mask the mask. We have been masking since early childhood knowing and not knowing we were masking and when you have been masking for so long and so hard, identity crisis can come so often. It leaves you wondering if there is any mask that is genuine or if they're all fake then what is the real you. Masking for so long leaves you so confused about yourself that you begin to create another mask just so you can say I am no longer confused, I no longer have an identity crisis, leaving the cycle to continue endless because you never were given a sense of self identity to begin with

[dyingvoid]

me: I hate people. Inner voice: don't be like that, you only hurt yourself with an inflexible worldview. me: I highly dislike SOME people.? Inner voice: good enough. still hate everyone though.

[madamefeu]

Anyone who says, “Just be yourself!” to anyone who’s neurodivergent can fucking choke. I hide who I am because I live in a world where being my true self isn’t safe. Being visibly neurodivergent isn’t safe in this world.

[aspdpsychology]

Its honestly so relieving to be able to come home to an empty house, i can finally be me. No mask, no feigned feelings, just me.

Anyone else?

[ur-all-fucking-idiots]

I hate forgetting to mask bc I'm constantly asked 'Are u okay?' and I have to be like 'Oh sorry, I'm just rlly tired today' and pretend that day isn't like the rest of my entire life

[ersatz-introspective]

anyone else listen to any cluster b coded song and get really internally defensive over it because there's no way anybody else relates to it as viscerally as you do. like people listen to it because it's cool, or to cheer up from a break-up, or to pump themselves up before some event, and you're here like

"no actually at all times i have the need to start shit to stave off the ever-consuming boredom. no actually at all times i Am better than everyone in this room. no the egotypicals cannot relate to my entire life being constantly this song. no you don't get it you can't even confidently ask for a ketchup packet. I Am Going To Light A Fire."

[aspd-thoughts]

I don’t feel emotions often, if ever. I still like talking about my problems.

But if I say “I don’t really feel sad about it,” then my venting is going to be dismissed as nitpicking or whining, and I know that because I’ve been honest before. So I’ve learned to over exaggerate how I feel about things, even in situations where I probably don’t need to. Because of that, “I got annoyed today” turns into “god I’m so fucking angry”, because I habitually over perform my emotions to seem neurotypical.