#maybe also ptsd? not sure abt that tho

[aropride]

autism and/or schizospec and/or aspd and/or other reduced affect havers gang rise UP!!! we should all hold hands and frolic in a field together like this -> 🌻🌱😐🤝😐🤝😐🌷🌾

[conanssummerchild]

writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️

tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end

Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.

An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.

When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.

"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."

Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?

"W-what thing, Rick?"

"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."

"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"

"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.

"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"

"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."

He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.

"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."

"I'm busy."

Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.

Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.

"Rick!" Morty frowned.

"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"

"I want you to have lunch with the family."

"And I said no, so screw off."

"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."

Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.

"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.

Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.

"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.

"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"

"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.

Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.

Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.

"What was that about?"

Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.

"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."

"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.

"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"

"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."

Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."

"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"

"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."

"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"

Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.

"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered

"Guess it does."

---

Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.

If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.

Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.

However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.

Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.

He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.

"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.

"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.

"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.

"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.

Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"

"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."

"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"

"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."

"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."

"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."

"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.

While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.

He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.

Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.

"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.

"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."

His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.

"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."

Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.

Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?

"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"

"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."

Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.

"'S no point in anything."

Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.

"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.

"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."

Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.

"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.

"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?

"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."

The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.

"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.

"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.

Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.

"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.

"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."

He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.

While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.

"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.

"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.

"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."

"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.

"What did you take?"

"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."

He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.

Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.

Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.

"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."

Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.

He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."

He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.

He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.

"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.

"No."

Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.

"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."

She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."

"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"

"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"

The garage was deathly quiet for a second.

"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"

He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.

"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.

"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.

"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.

"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."

"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.

All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.

Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.

Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.

Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.

"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.

"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.

They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.

Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.

He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.

"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.

"I did warn you."

"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."

"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.

She sighed softly.

"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"

"Jeans an-and a lab coat."

"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.

Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.

"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."

"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."

Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.

Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.

Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.

"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.

"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.

He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.

He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.

As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.

"R-rick?"

"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.

Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.

"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'

"Don't count on it."

Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."

"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.

"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."

"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."

Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"

"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."

"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.

"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."

"Fuck."

---

thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that

[ghostytoad]

🎃 ROTTMNT Halloween Headcanons 🎃

Haunted House Edition

Summary: The gang go to a scare attraction/haunted house. Headcanons for: Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey, April, Cassandra, & Casey Jr

CW: panic attack/ptsd mention, v mild violence(?), overall spooky vibes

Raph:

is a big baby when it comes to scare attractions/haunted houses

tries to worm his way out of their plans every year

goes anyways bc mikey needs someone big to cling onto & raph can't say no to his baby brother

has all of the exit locations memorized in case he needs to make a quick escape (aka run away)

has never made it to the end

will usually tap out at the halfway point

has the highest pitched scream out of all of them

never admits he's the one screaming tho

accidentally k.o. punched a scare actor one year after they jumped out at him

he cried and apologized to the poor actor for hours after that

still feels bad abt it to this day

Donnie:

is thoroughly unimpressed by all the theatrics

will only tag along to watch & record raph and mikey running away

the only scary thing here is the abundant use of pyrotechnics and the stark lack of fire exits

makes it to the end every times

goes into a long rant about the science of fear and how misused it was afterwards

can predict where every scare actor is/when they'll pop out with scary accuracy

once stayed behind after closing & redid the layout to "improve" the scare factor

he also reprogrammed a few animatronics & amplified the pyrotechnics

things did not go as planned at all

he's now banned from every scare attraction in new york

still sneaks in tho

Leo:

scare attractions? total walk in the park for this guy

sure, he gets scared a few times but he thrives on the adrenaline rush

will tease raph and mikey about their fear stink the entire time

sometimes likes to portal behind a few hiding scare actors and scare the living shit out of them

once snuck into a scare attraction after closing and stole a ms. cuddles prop

hid it under raph's bed (and gave the poor turtle a heart attack)

post-movie: the worst part about scare attractions are the slithery/tentacle monsters

his brothers make sure to cover his eyes & stay on guard for him

he's never backed out once

but he did have a panic attack one year when a kraang-looking monster came out at him

donnie had to carry him the rest of the way after he refused to tap out

Mikey:

is scared easily but loves the thrill of getting scared

has to convince raph that he's old enough to go with them every time they make plans

put on his cockiest brave-face standing when they're waiting in line

will cling to raph as soon as they go in tho

won't admit he's scared until raph (inevitably) runs away without him

taps out usually near the end

not bc he's scared at all, no!

he's just worried abt raph is all

he totally didn't scream and run away

will approach scare actors afterwards and gush about their costumes and makeup

sometimes helps april with her halloween makeup

only made it to the end once; he had his eyes closed the entire time

so it doesn't really count even tho he insists that it so does count

April:

loves scare attractions!! halloween is her holiday, baby!!

usually the first one to make plans to go to a haunted house

works as a scare actor some years

absolutely loves every minute of it

ignores donnie's suggestions on how to improve her scares

not bc they aren't great ideas, some of them just aren't "legal"

knows where all the best scares are & is friends with most of the scare actors in the area so they get "unlimited rides"

was fired one year for stealing a few scare props to bring home

now has leo help portal her in to steal more props

makes it to the end of every attraction with a huge grin on her face and an upbeat attitude

nothing can scare this girl!

except maybe long lines.....

Cass:

haunted house? is that like.... a code word for something?

the gang tried taking her to a haunted house one year

now they all have a lifetime ban there

she wouldn't stop attacking the poor scare actors

"CASS, NONE OF THIS IS REAL! PUT THE TEENAGER DOWN AND LET GO OF THE SCYTHE!!"

she's still new to the concept of haunted houses

but she's trying

she's determined to "beat" the attractions and make it all the way to the end

but she's usually kicked out for beating up another scare actor

she's getting better at it tho

prefers haunted mazes bc they give her a chance to practice her stealth skills

Casey Jr:

the boy grew up in the apocalypse so he's always on edge

scare attractions probably aren't the best for him

has never hit anyone but will dodge and weave all scares like its an obstacle course

usually carries his weapon and is always prepared for an attack just in case

v protective of raph & mikey

he's usually on body guard duty for those two

sometimes the noise and chaos is too much for the poor boy

he tries to tap out before it gets too bad for him

one year, he didn't tap out soon enough & ended up having a bad episode

paramedics had to be called and he had to be rushed to hospital that year

the gang hasn't forgiven themselves since....

leo especially

but he insists he'll be okay every time they ask!

[uraverageimp]

Ok, so uhm, finally finished!

I got lazy with the design lmao- (and also got too lazy to finish the rest of the chain)

I'm proud of the eyes tho, so pritti!! :3 ♡♡☆

ok anyways-

So In this AU, Adam was a fallen Angel (was fallen before exterminations exists) bc ????? I don't know the reason, this was just a poorly thought of AU that came to me like a vision when I was tired, barely awake and sleep deprived at 3AM. Idk abt that but I'm sure I'll come up with a good reason maybe in about 4 months or so- anyways, back on track.

After his fall from grace, he gets desperate to get back on his feet, so he makes a deal with this woman who let's call B (cuz she's a bitc-) and B owns a talent agency and Adam is pretty good with the guitar so she offers to be his manager in exchange for his soul (I think that's how it works? Idrk and Idrc abt logistics, this is just a silly AU I made) and Adam accepts her offer and starts working as a singer/guitarist in a band with 3 other dudes called "__". (I'm trying to come up with a clever name but nothing seems to be going on in this mind of mine. Pls help)

He gets popular and is pretty much well known. He sleeps around a lot (he has extreme hypersexuality) has a terrible alcohol, cigarette and drug addiction, is depressed, has severe anxiety and PTSD, abandonment issues, dependent, trauma, etc... all those good character ingredients that makes them much more flavorful.

His relationship with B is an open one but B can get very possessive at times. B has sharp nails, she would sometimes grab Adam very hard that it scratches him and during sex would scratch him that results to him bleeding.. a lot.. everywhere- (he has many scars from B and SH). During fights, B would always bring up the fact that if it weren't for her, taking him in, giving him a job. He would still have been on the streets and/or dead by now (which is true) so Adam's basically powerless and indebted to her. And ig that's all that i could think of saying for now, I'm pretty sure i had a lot more to say but I think i lost it somewhere.. I swear I just put it here... ah- anyways-

Conclusion: B is a gaslighting, manipulative, lying narcissistic bitch.

And Adam has 10+ mental illnesses/issues and a shit load of trauma that not even therapy can fix

TL;DR: Adam is a rockstar and is in a deal he can't escape. He's also in an abusive relationship with the woman holding his soul/his manager. :3 (He also has a shit ton of trauma)

Uhm I'm very bad at explaining so sorry if you don't understand it much 😭

Also, sorry if the color coding is annoying, i got carried away TT _ TT

[newsafeconfinement]

RESIDENT EVIL HEADCANNONS BECAUSE AUUGGHHHHHHHH

request more people, its abt 1am and im about to conk

chris:

- filipino, but his and claire's adoptive family are white

- contrary to popular belief, hes never used steroids. he just loves his partners. ( @kernelpanicart and i's funny headcannon)

- nd: obvi ptsd and amnesia, but he also strikes me as the autistic type: my autistim sense is tingling when i look at him

- in a "everyone lives" scenario, he defo dates jill, piers, maybe wesker, and leon, and theyre all in a poly relationship

- trans but transitioned pretty early in life

- bisexual asf

jill:

- keeping the canon french/japanese bc yes

- hates all forms of makeup. not even for formal events. over her dead body would she wear makeup. youd have to hold her down to put it on.

- dating chris, leon, and carlos because 💞

- she marries them and doesnt cry while the boys are openly weeping

- trans!!! transwoman!!!!

- absolutely completely bisexual as hell

piers:

- whiteboy (terminal)

- has the hardest time focusing because of chris. he cant help it. chris sexy :(

- just dating chris

- demisexual and bi

- trans too because he got the tboy swag

leon:

- also a whiteboy (terminal)

- in my stars!leon au hes been caught making out with every single stars member. even wesker.

- the members affectionately called him "leon slutboy kennedy"

- dating chris like a little BITCH (but also makesout with helena when he can) and also ashley and luis

- trans

- bisexual

brad vickers (sorry im a brad stan):

- columbian

- GOD i could talk abt my brad hcs all day

- i might make a post abt him alone. hes so silly

- trans and doesnt really want to completely transition

- bi and proud

- annoys wesker

- also wesker's boyfriend because hehehehehehehehe

- and jill's

- and all of stars

- he loves his partners and snuggles them all the time

wesker:

- cunt (whiteboy, more specifically FRENCH)

- dating: chris, jill, brad, william birkin, and rebecca

- before you say it

- him and rebecca thoroughly talked it through, and do not have sex or any sort of major flirtation WITHOUT rebecca first engaging

- im mixed on the trans idea tbh

- pansexual

william birkin:

- dont get me started on the whiteboy.

- him and annette are in a open relationship and hes with wesker too

- loves his daughter so much

- honestly i feel like if he saw sherry in re6, he would be so proud of her

- bisexual? more like. more li. i dont have anything clever to say

sherry birkin:

- japanese/american (i like referencing the re2 concepts of annette bc i like variety in my women, so i feel shes japanese)

- also i feel like shes not like. completely thin like in re6. "oh but guuiiiii shes training with the government! she should be small!!!" no shut up. she deserves a little bit of plus sized body as a treat.

- JAKE WIFE'D HER.

- adores jake, even if work makes them not see eachother as much

- whenever theyre both home, they just hold eachother

- loves halloween and makes her own costumes

- cis

- defo bisexual

jake:

- white (french/eastern european, ukranian most likely)

- loves his wife

- sherry makes sure on his missions thathe eats properly

- doesnt really understand halloween but loves that sherry makes them both costumes

- sherry's definately helped him experience more western things

- cis

- bisexual

ashley:

- whitegirl

- dating leon and luis

- shes their self control bimbo

- has cried to the stupidest things

- she defo smokes ouid with luis and leon for fun

- we know what that always leads to, dont we?

- cis

-pansexual

finn:

- chinese/native-american

- has feelings for piers and chris but never will talk about it

- piers and chris do notice his heart eyes tho

- trans

- gay gay homosexual gay

ada:

- chinese

- full fledged lesbian that makesout with claire to piss off chris

- cis

claire:

- filipino, but also raised by white people so she doesnt really know that

- bi

- transwoman but doesnt get bottom surgery bc she doesnt wanna

barry:

- all american dad

- trys to stay up to date with everything so he can stay close to his daughters, but unironically says "yeet" instead of "yes"

- hes just my dad basically

rebecca:

- japanese/american

- literally adores wesker

- she patches him up after rough missions and talks about what shes been working on to keep him calm

- cis

- probablt bi? shes questioning mostly

[sophiesophsofia]

Indroducing Irisia characters

Let's start with the main character - Violet Smith-Cupido !

This is how she looks like :

All fact abor her :

She's 13 y.o in season 1

She was born im US, although she has Pakistani origin 🇵🇰

She's bi 🏳️‍🌈🩷💜🩵 (first has a crush on Bluey, but then she fals for Cherry)

She's adopted by Pamela and Miguel and has a sister called Veronica

She suffers from PTSD becouse of the abontment by her own mother (earlier her father; her perents got divorce) and also bullying in child care home when she was younger

She also has a lil trust and huge abontment issues and additionally anger issues (even though she's usually kind and calm person ; it's all couses by her trauma and anxiety)

She doesn't like socialising, but deeply wants to have friends so badly

She is crazy about fantasy (well, if she didnt, she wouldn't get to Irisia)

So my second Irisia oc is Cherry Myan ( Well, actually jp. アケネ・ミャン [Akane Myan])

This is how she looks like (in normal version and in Irisia version :

All facts abt her :

She's 13 in season 1

She's the leader of the group the protects Irisia

She is from Japan 🇯🇵. She was born in Sendai, but was living in Japan from the age of 2 to the age of 12. Then she moved to LA with her dad and older brother

She's lesbian 🏳️‍🌈❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 (has huuuugee crush on Violet, she hadn't been sure abt for a long time)

Her mom died in the Tsunami tragedy when she was 2 y.o

She suffers from PTSD after betrayal by her friend who was also her crush (that girl will be a main villain in season 2)

Also becouse of that she has huge trust issues

She adores watching anime

She would also be a Mitski and Girl in Red fan

Bluey Dipper :

And now everything about him :

This big boy is 13 (like everyone in Irisiadecs)

He's from Canada 🇨🇦 and live in Toronto, but his family comes from Brittish Colombia

He's pan 🩷💛💙 (ex-partner : Billey, I'll tell more about them latter; preveos bf : Forest)

His step-sister's name is Amber

His parents are got divorce when he was litlle, which was (and still is) something kind of tough for him, but generesly he doesn't suffer from PTSD or anxiety like Violet and Cherry

He has ADHD though. He has some problem with hyperactivity, focusing, social skills and emocional sensitiveness, but he tries his best to make his disorder imposible for others to notice

In Irisia, he's got the power of water, ice and super-sences

So about Forest Parker :

He's 13 y.o.

He lives in USA although he's got Etiopian origins

In Irisia He has the power of the element of earth and he's super strong

He's gay 🏳️‍🌈💚🤍💙 (dates Bluey)

He's easy-going and always relaxed (just like Bluey and Bowie btw)

He gaves a "bad boy who is crush of every girl at school" vibes (same as Bowie and Bluey)

He unfortunetly has some daddy issues EDIT : No, more like lil mommy issues (he has two moms, that are overprotective over him EDIT : One of his moms is his biological one and Forest's dad was murders when Forest was like 7, that's kinda long story)

Bowie Jackson

He's also 13

He's 🇮🇱jewish-american 🇺🇲

He's trans 🏳️‍⚧️(FTM of course)

Simps for Amber

He has a power of lightnings and superspeed

His personality is similar to Forest and Bluey (in season 2 will bw also Amber tho)

And yeeah speaking of her :

She's also 13

She's has a power of fire and she's super smart

She's brittish 🇬🇧 (her family is christian ac)

Her step-brother is Bluey

Her parents also got divorce (she's been struggling with that worse than Bluey; she doesn't trust men, as her dad cheated on her mom)

She's also trans🏳️‍⚧️(but not FTM, but MTW)

At the beganing she has no feelings to Bowie, but their relationship will grow in the season 2 (yes, they will be a t4t couple)

And that's it. Maybe I'll show you main villains in some time

Anyways, thanks for reading <3

[baglsasha]

Mental health vent below. CW for abuse, mental health issues, sexual abuse, manipulation, and stream of consciousness writing with little concern for grammar.

If anyone actually reads this idk like if you experience similar stuf can u mayb hmu. It's 3:30am and I can't sleep so I'm just gonna rant

I have issues with how I view ppl like when I meet someone or like someone's art they'll be fucking perfect then the second they do something I slightly dislike they instantly become all bad in my brain and I like have to fight that base instinct to have a fucking normal perspective on people and it's fucking annoying

I'm p sure that's a borderline tendency or maybe it's just normal and I'm over critical of my mind. I have a weird history with borderline tho bc the person who abused and raped me tried to like gaslight me into believing I had serious borderline issues to make me feel less competent and like manipulate me more or some shit so like if I actually do have borderline tendencies I don't know how to deal with it's just colored horribly by that. And I guess also mixing with ptsd from that.

I feel horrific imposter syndrome for my own mental health too. Like I have a hard time saying I have post traumatic stress even though if I see or think certain triggering things I flash back to how I felt in those moments and fall apart with anxiety and have to re center myself and I basically have been made asexual bc the thought of sex fucking terrifies me. And it fucking hurts me too bc I get tense when I see people who look like her and those are just innocent normal people and I'm internally freaking out around them just bc they look like the woman who tried to break me what am I supposed to do abt that.

I like feel generally mentally healthier now on a base level, like I've got my meds, I'm productive, im doing things I love but I still feel like im one tiny mistake away from burning all my friendships over an idiotic impulse or running away for no reason. Like someone will just say something mild I disagree on and I'll fucking suddenly want to fucking despise them over it and I don't want to do that I love them they're great ppl I can't take that why is my mind like that.

I want to say I want the me I was before she hurt me back but that me was horrifically mentally unhealthy in other ways. I want the me who's figured this shit out. I want the me who doesn't want to hurt people. I want the me that doesnt eventually clash with people and make things falls apart. I want the me who's at least decently sure of myself and has any self esteem at all. I want the me who can finish any art ever.

I can't keep going with so little. I'm not suicidal. I'm about as far from that as I've ever been. But despite my happiness I have the overwhelming constant deafening background noise telling me that I don't deserve it, that I'm not worth anything, that I shouldn't be happy. And I hate that. Fuck

Sorry.

[caseyjonesisinthehouse]

hey i need to talk abt some camp camp shit bcause i have no one to vent to. (srsly if u see this and u wanna talk abt cc dm me i am lonely.) so yeah i want to take a good look at one episode in particular- episode 12 of season 4, the forest. (putting a ‘keep reading’ here bcause hoo boy is this shit long)

aight so first things first- how fucking long was david gone????? so we know he broke his leg, and pretty badly too.

look at that. bone fucking cronched. according to some base-level research i did, severe fractures can take BETWEEN THREE AND SIX MONTHS TO HEAL. even if we assume the horrific angle of the break is bcause its a cartoon, and it wasnt rly that bad, it would still take at least a month to heal.

another thing that points to how long he's been gone: where we see him when he's ready to go back to camp. look at this.

FUCKING LOOK AT THIS. this fucking twink has apparantly had enough time to not only partially heal from a severe fracture, but enough to also build all of this shit from the base up. i dont care how good he is at wilderness survival, that shit takes a fuck ton of time.

so yeah he basically spent a bare fucking minimum of two months away from camp.

im not gonna say we didnt get enough of a reaction from literally anyone tho. theres actually enough believable evidence to support the fact that theres a brief period of time we missed between when he returns to camp and when we see him back to his regular self. theres two main details that point towards this.

heres one of them-

he has an actual splint. its unclear whether he went to the hospital or not, but either way this proves that he's gotten at least somewhat professional help for his leg. maybe he saw a doctor, maybe gwen did it, i dont know, but for some reason i feel like he probably didnt do it himself. idk. anyway, theres something that took me a while to realise what was up with the reaction we got from the campers when we see david with them when he gets back.

the this is here is that no one reacts. like yeah niel and nerris look concerned, but thats about it. at first it might seem weird, but it actually makes more sense the longer you think about it. if theres a few days that we missed, its possible the campers would have been filled in on at least the basics of what happened to david.

so yeah theres that

theres a couple other things i wanna quickly run thru that im just gonna list here

david actually trying to land in the safest way possible when he falls from the cliff lookit ma boi flexin his knowledge

hE SMILES WHEN HE SEES THE NOTE MAX LEFT IN HIS WALLET AAAAA

im impressed the writers didnt make him an idiot for comedic effect he would absolutely know his way around the forest

bonus points for using lavender on the bee stings

how does my bitch not have ptsd or physical scars wtf

just the 'Whoops!' followed by the terror in his eyes like 'oh fuck'

i dont cry but i DO get emotionally wrecked seeing david slumped over in a canoe floating out of the lake

the way his eyes focus one after the other when he wakes up after being knocked out is... i mean i dont hate it, but its rly weird in like a good way?

and then the small 'huh?' followed by sheer terror

at one point he starts whistling the theme song and i luv it

bit of a yikes but im pretty sure getting slammed against a tree by a bear doesnt do any favours for ur ribs

wait how would he have made sure nothing got infected both for him and wolfie

also yeah pretty sure davids bi at this point just look at this bi lighting

oh yeah my favourite thing about this episode is that we learn even when david is broken down and literally staring down death he's still the same and being kind and caring is just in his nature

HE IS PURE RIGHT DOWN TO HIS LANKY TWINK-ASS CORE THATS WHO HE IS IN HIS MOST UNADULTERATED FORM I LOVE A BITCH

im more surprised than i should be that david carries around a swiss army knife

give my man his free smoothie

i love it when david looks up at the stars and smiles. this lil bitch loves nature and being out in the wilderness so freakin much

also im legally required to mention the fact he's probably thinking something along the lines of 'everyone at camp's looking at the same stars/sky i am' or some shit like that

he throws up way more water than is healthy. like yeah ok at least its out of him now but istg it is NOT ok to ingest that much unsafe water

oh yeah he also does most of the shit he does with a concussion. ive had a serious one before, and holy shit is it so hard to do literally anything, INCLUDING WALKING, without an insane headache and almost blacking out for at least the first few hours. like jesus christ how does david do the shit he does

he literally falls down a mountain. with multiple crunches.

holy fuck this man is allergic to bees normal bee stings do NOT swell up that much

i mean at least he's not anaphylactic? I dont think?? otherwise he'd probably be dead???

love the continuation of the 'david lists tree species while sleeping' joke this fucking dork

"Well, that's not the best.."

ok im dying because i know this one survival fact and im so goddamn glad david knows this too BUT when he sees some berries, he keeps walking. why? NEVER EAT BERRIES OR PLANTS IN THE WILD UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN SOMETHING ELSE EAT IT FIRST. you never know what effect certain plants will have, or if they're poisonous or not. always make sure you know for a fact its safe before consuming something. my bitch was so hungry, but he didnt eat the fucking berries bcause he knew there was a chance they could be harmful and there were no other animals around that could have shown him whether or not they were.

the pure fucking joy when he realises he's made it back to camp is just- omfg i cant

"No, I'm not- I didnt mean to scare you, just- im not- Just please don't- ᵀᴱᴸᴸ ᵞᴼur ᴹᴼᴹ"

'Whoops!' -it was at this moment, he knew: he fucked up.

this was almost certainly intentional but i like that theres a leitmotif that plays throughout the episode thats on guitar and david plays guitar

oh yeah as if he wasnt dealing with enough from being attacked by a wild animal, the probable ptsd from Jasper is also present bcause, yknow, getting slashed across the chest and falling down a ravine is what happened to jasper too. i mean not in that order but the point still stands

[danteinthedevildom]

Ngl I’ve been thinkin over the brother’s fears stuff from the most recent (?) lessons (bc I’m a dirty cheat and saw spoilers so ofc I went and looked up as much shit as I could) and like,

Ok shovin thots under the cut bc it got long oop. Also bc spoilers but y’know.

1 - Lucifer thinkin the “light” (which is ofc God lbr) was his fear despite not fearin it at all is p. weird. Like there was no hesitation, no fear. He just looked at it and went “ew it’s you never thot I’d see you again” and killed it. So clearly that’s NOT his actual fear. Def. Simeon’s I think, like he says a lil later.

So either Lucifer knew it was Simeon’s and “claimed” it to save Simeon’s feelins or smthn or he legit figured it was his fear bc the only thing he could think to be scared of is the guy who threw him out. 

Which like. Is such a fuckin non-answer re: his actual fear (tho he did say once goin back to the Celestial Realm was his “greatest fear” or smthn so maybe that’s still true so they didn’t figure that bringin it up again’d be that fun), but is interestin bc it says a lot abt how he sees God. 

Like. He got beat and kicked out and had his sister (almost) killed, but he’s still got 0 goddamn fear of his dad. Literal creator of everything God with a capital G don’t scare him. I figure bc he already did the worst thing he could’a done, and he survived that, so what else’s there to fear?

Tho it bein Simeon’s fear is... hm. Def. makes it sound like Simeon’s fearin seein God again. Either bc that’s just smthn any angel’d fear - maybe they only see God one-on-one if they’ve done smthn wrong so that’d be like seein your headteacher pop up outta nowhere, knowin he only comes outta the teacher’s room when you done fucked up - or bc he’s hidin smthn that makes seein God a really Bad Thing. Guilt or worries over some kinda sin? 

I mean duh. He’s in love with MC. That ain’t a hidden thing anymore. He’s kissed MC plenty times and I think even said the L-word once or twice. That’s def. grounds to get murderised (as we know, RIP Lilith). 

Also hella interestin in a metaphorical sense tho. Like, God’s a light. Simeon’s scared of somethin comin to light. Da-dum-tss, but what a hella cool way of showin that it’s a (technical) secret that’s got him all wound up.

2 - Mammon and Levi both fearin demon-form Lucifer is... understandable, but also kinda sad. Like, legit sad, not “wow ur so sad lol”. 

Levi’s way of sayin it makes sense tho. Lucifer only goes full demon form when he’s hella pissed, or outta control. He’s so damn powerful he don’t need to go into that form often, bc he can handle p. much anythin without it - plus he’s just got a p. good control on himself, so no accidental demon-form slips.

Unless ofc he’s so fuckin angry that it just leaps out. We’ve seen it. He gets murderous, and boom - form’s out. Or, situation’s so damn dire it’s got him on edge, and boom - form’s out. Him bein in demon form’s never good.

But him bein in demon form and after them is even worse.

Makes me wonder tho. If it’d just been angry Lucifer, why’d Levi specify it as his demon form’s anger? He gets angry at them hella often, and Mams esp. is strung up p. much daily, so clearly they’re not scared of him bein angry at them. 

It’s him bein angry at them while enraged. So either they’ve both pissed him off before bad enough that he’s gone full demon form, and whatever happened then was so fuckin terrifyin they’ve never recovered from it, 

Or they know that demon form Lucifer is scary shit, and even tho he’s not gone for them like that before, it’s smthn they’re terrified of in principle. Like, you’ve seen your dad mad on the phone before, and he’s never yelled at you like that, but you know he’s capable of it and that’s terrifyin as shit bc what if you do smthn that pisses him off enough to yell at you like that?

A lil part of me leans towards the latter bc tho they were scared it wasn’t smthn Levi said as tho it’d happened. More like smthn he’s hypothetically scared of. Plus idk what times Lucifer’d be so pissed he goes full rage at them? His demon form’s only really come out when the family’s in danger. Even shit like Lotan bein summoned don’t usually end in a demon form Lucifer (I’m p. sure anyway).

3 - Ok so like who was surprised by this. Asmo’s beauty is p. integral to who he is. He’s nothin if he’s not beautiful, and that’s what I think scares him. Not the bein ugly, but that bein ugly means he’s not Asmo.

Means he can’t get the attention he needs, can’t be loved by ppl, won’t get all the adoration and affection - he won’t be popular. And Asmo hella needs to be reassured that he’s pretty and loved. It’s who he is and what his identity is based on. 

Plus we’ve seen I’m p. sure a couple scenes where he’s been a lil worried/nervous abt if MC likes him for him. Beyond the beauty. He legit don’t think there’s anythin worth lovin if he’s not pretty, so ofc him bein ugly’s gonna be his biggest fear. Bc who’s gonna love him then. 

4 - Also smthn no-one’s gonna be surprised by. It’s his whole sense of identity. That’s not gonna go away for him overnight, y’know? The fact that it was angel Lucifer, tho - not just, like, normal Lucifer - was a p. cool touch.

That’s his roots. Not Lucifer the demon - Lucifer the angel. That’s what he’s based on. Smthn he never was but was always part of. 

He’s legit just the Lil Hal-Dirk connundrum which jfc that’s showin my fandoms huh. Is smthn that comes from smthn else its own unique person, or is it just a copy that’s always gonna get drawn back to what it was? How can it be original when everythin it is came from smthn else? 

That’s a hell of an identity crisis. Even bein Wrath and bein p. physically different and even likin different shit’s not enough to stop that feelin of ig imposter syndrome? Or of just bein a fragment of smthn else. Esp. when you know everyone else’s their own damn being. No one can understand where he’s comin from bc his “birth” was totally unique. He’s not just, like, Lucifer’s son or whatever - he’s legit a part of Lucifer’s emotions that just got plopped out one day. 

(Except ofc he’s not bc Lucifer knew he was different and felt him like a different presence for a while before the Fall but Satan’s got his memories and that’s kinda like bein someone anyway, ain’t it?)

So yeah, not surprisin, but also? I rlly hope he gets confident in who he is one day. Legit the idea that he’s still sittin there goin “who am I?” just hurts. 

5 - This bitch got trauma. Lbr it was either gonna be Belphie or it was gonna be Lilith and we all knew that was comin. Beel’s still not over the death of Lilith and his “role” in it (bc survivor’s guilt is a bitch and he’s still thinkin “not being able to save two ppl in two different places at the same time” is a sin), so losin anyone else is gonna hurt him.

But bein the reason he lost them? Oh that’s gonna hurt him even more. Esp. with the blame he’s still puttin on himself. It’s one thing to be like the passive cause that someone died but bein the active cause? Even by accident? Poor Beel. 

I don’t think anythin could’a been worse for him. That ain’t just a fear, that’s outright smthn he’s still strugglin with PTSD over. Like hell no shit he almost/did break down over it, that’s just shovin a trigger right in his face. 

6 - Bein alone, bein abandoned, not bein able to find anyone in pure darkness. That’s... damn. Either that’s lingerin trauma from bein locked up in the attic, knowin that no one was gonna find him or could hear him (which, fuck, how much did he try’n call for his brothers to come get him only to realise no one was gonna come?), or smthn set up that fear before the attic and the attic just made it hells of worse.

Like that wasn’t just “bein in a room apart from ppl”, it was outright “not knowin where anyone is, or seein/hearin/feelin them”. Total sensory deprivation. 

Oh. His worst fear’s not feelin anythin. That’s. Y’all. 

Idk how to end this now I’m just big hurty thinkin abt the last two jfc. No wonder Belphie’s always wantin to be asleep next to smthn. “He sleeps better with someone there” no sir you just hella fear sleepin bc your sin’s legit exactly what you’re terrified of and havin smthn there’s the best way to fix it. 

[funsizearsonist]

I have a confession to make

I really don’t know that much about batman. Or any of the batfam tbh. I reblog stuff about them sometimes bc I think they’re cool but I really haven’t seen like. Any of the source content. but here’s some stuff I’ve picked up

- Batman/ Bruce Wayne is just a Tired Dad (tm)

-He’s got ptsd and doesn’t know how to handle it so he adopts children and helps them and sort of?? lives vicariously throught them?? like taking care of his traumatized child self but actually it’s other traumatized superpowered kids

- Jason Todd/ Red Hood is more like,, anti- hero?? Like he carries guns so he probably kills people which is frowned upon but he’s actually totally still part of the famthey just act like he isn’t

- Also he like?? Died? He was beaten to death with a crowbar?? But now he’s alive again?? And im pretty sure it was one of the villains who did some magic-y stuff to revive him??? idk im probably wrong

- Tim doesn’t sleep.

- theyve al been robin at least once im pretty sure? like Dick is Original Robin but now I think he’s Nightwing? Idk im bad with their names except I know Jason is Red Hood

- Alfred is the most badass. Period. I don’t care if they’re vigilantes 

- Also Commissioner Gordon is a Tired Dad

- He has a daughter named Barbara who was like a vigilante also  but now she’s in a wheelchair I think

- And I think she’s a hacker now?

- Damian is like Bruce’s kid by blood I think

- but like the rest of them are adopted or like basically adopted at this point

- there’s also a Stephanie and maybe a Cassandra?? idk there’s some girls in there and they’re cool

- There’s a lady named Selina who’s Bruce’s age and he’s in love with her? but I don’t they’re together

- The Joker is like a complete bitch 

- But Riddler is cool and like harmless? even tho he’s supposed to be a villain?

- I have no idea what’s up between the batfam and the Teen Titans

- just. so many. Shenanigans.

so yeah there’s probably more but I think that’s enough for now! Let me know how I did! Also I would probably die for them even tho I barely know anything abt them

[hatake-kakashi]

kakairu ideas:

- hs teacher kakashi x elementary teacher iruka.  naruto is iruka’s (adopted) son who thinks kakashi is weird. (toying w the idea that sasuke is kakashi’s adopted son but we’ll see) 

- kakashi is the frontman in a band and he meets iruka (who is the watier) at a restaurant over summer. iruka isnt really in tune w pop culture so he doesnt recognize kakashi at all; kakashi asks for his number and iruka says “my number isn’t on the menu” but anyway he ends up getting it and they fall in love. iruka is a teacher and also naruto is his (a) son bc i said so. naruto is 6

- iruka gets a new dog for him and his son (you guessed it) naruto. he sees kakashi in the park walking dogs often so he thinks hes a dog walker, resulting in him asking kakashi to walk his dog while he’s working with kids after school. kakashi is not a dog walker he just walks his own dogs but agrees anyway because he thinks iruka is cute

- iruka helps ‘coach’ the kids (~8 year olds) basketball team (its mostly just playing around but there are some ‘serious’ games) and kakashi (sasuke’s dad) goes to the practices and pines over him (as do literlaly all of the other parents but anyway). kotetsu is the coach. features tetsu walking over to iruka and saying “oh youve met kakashi! you sure do have a type” (gray hair) (mizuki is irukas ex bc i said so) 

- tired phd student kakashi frequents the coffee shop iruka works at. iruka leaves him notes on his cup telling him he hopes he gets rest and to have a nice day/etc

- canon universe where kakashi is hokage and asks iruka if he’d like to have dinner at his house. iruka agrees. kakashi has fangs here. they both have been yearning for years. also kakashi has never been on a real date 

- uh i have an au based off of the song ribcage by andy black. basically its kakashi ignoring his feelings for iruka until he cant anymore

- super hero!kakashi au. basically hes spiderman but like not. iruka is mj but also like not.  its set in a college universe tho, iruka is an intern. kakashi is called white fang

- iruka is a writer (yes of icha icha but sh); naruto is his son; naruto joins a self defense class for the fun of it bc he ‘wants to be a ninja’; kakashi is one of the instructors

- kakashi is a writer and iruka is a teacher.  naruto is irukas adopted son. theres a lot of referenced angst but like its really happy. very soft and they fall in love fast ////////////// i have a seqeul planned for this one but it could possibly be stand alone. kkir are married and naruto is their son. they agree to do foster care---the foster 12 year old sasuke. sasuke is dealing w a lot of trauma (his parents are dead and itachi is in a coma. he hates all his foster familes and is kind of a trouble maker. kkir dont want to give up on him. they support and love him and also get him therapy bc he needs it )

- this is one of my favorites but its also angsty. kkir are married but kakashi still has yet to talk to iruka about his nightmares/share them w him and his coping mechanisms aren’t the best. its kind of a study on kakashi’s ptsd w rin and obito but also like eh (the title of this i think will be ‘set fire to the person i was’)

- (nsfw) but kkir are uh. friends w benefits i GUESS. they dont talk abt their feelings tho and end up being way to tender w one another and falling in love. kakashi is bad at love tho so he kinda,,,,runs away from it but like its happy i promise

- this is also one of my faves basically set like. right after the 4th war . iruka has a feeling something bad happened to kakashi, and it did. he died, however. like kakashi and the rest come back. anyways iruka sees kakashi, runs to him, kisses him in front of a lot of ppl bc like. thats love baby. its really short and sweet

- “he’ll cry over him, kakashi thinks vaguley as iruka presses a hot kiss to his neck. maybe not now, maybe not in the coming weeks, but he will, some day, cry over love lost” is an excerpt. yes it another fwb au. fight me over it

[glitterwolfvi]

Can you talk abt ur favourite fallout character and your hcs for them?

OK YEAH I CAN! this is going to maybe get a bit long tho because I have.. a few favorites from each game

also in general, I want to smooch all the ghouls

Fallout 3

Butch DeLoria: ah yes, the boy, the bastard. I love him and his whole look, and the Tunnel Snakes! first off, I like to imagine he is a GNC Trans Masc dude, he’s gay, and he’s 5′1. he/him pronouns! he HATES how short he is and will fight anyone who calls him that, don’t test him. huge fear of radroaches AND the dark, don’t mix them. he’s bipolar and autistic, and favors vocal stims. echolalia!!! growing up he was forced to be pretty feminine and hated that he was forced, so when he first came out, he tried to be as masc as possible, but later at 19, he started letting himself being as feminine as he wants, but not forcing it, y’know? smokes and drinks. later, I imagine he absolutely gets his gang up and running again, with better people. they stab transphobes. Tunnel Snakes Rule!!

Charon: heart eyes motherfucker. I love him. he’s a big dude, and I mean big. 6′10. he’s bi! he/him pronouns! he’s always super nervous to act on his attractions, because not only is he a ghoul, he’s honor bound to a contract. Azrukhal said he got hypnotized to follow it I think?? I imagine he actually did! he’s not a pre-war ghoul, but a more recent one. maybe ghoulified during the what the people did to hypnotize him. canonly, he has a 3 Intelligence, and I like to think before he got hypnotized, he had a higher Int. but still had a low Charisma heh. probably also has a brain injury. selective mutism! BIG softie under all that grump

Sergeant RL-3: love this Mister Gutsy! I think he sounds way too like.. charming to be a Gutsy, but I love it. good robot! they’re definitely demi-bi/ace and Masc Nonbinary! He/They pronouns for this bot. they’re protective of the Lone Wanderer, and he just wants them safe and secure. I think he should be a companion that doesn’t have karma requirements to have them. despite his... patriotic comments, I feel like he doesn’t really care who you are or what you follow, as long as you don’t harm those they care about. the patriotism is just how he was programmed anyways. they love to just be called Sarge, rather than Sergeant RL-3

Gob: ;o; I want him to be safe and ok. Trans Masc and bi with a preference for men. He/They. 5′6. PTSD, anxiety, depression. he’s autistic too! vocal stimming and hand flaps. but he can’t because of stupid Moriarty. loves his lesbian moms and just wants to go back to them, where he’s safe. crush on Charon!

Fallout: New Vegas

Raul Tejada:  love this old ghoul and his voice. augh I just can’t get over it. anyways, he’s gay, 5′8, and he/him pronouns. he absolutely hates being alone, but is scared to get close to anybody. if you do manage to get close to this man, he’s a ride or die kind of friend, y’know? he’s also the type of guy for lots of platonic ‘I love you’s and cheek kisses if you’re close. he doesn’t like when those he cares about wanders far from him when they’re traveling, and gets super nervous, and just wants to run and make sure they’re ok. he respects boundaries, but still worries over them. sweet man, jokes a lot, but also complains a lot about being old

Arcade Gannon: I haven’t known him for very long, but I love he. he’s a Demi-Boy, he’s gay, and he/they pronouns. 6′0. autistic and will go on and on about certain topics, there’s no stopping him. not like you’d want to, but still. likes the sound of a clicking pen and stims with it. more stims than that, but y’know, his favorite. he has lots of anxiety, but does have plenty of ways to cope. he gets crushes super easily. you’re nice to him? he loves you. that cute guy over there that said hi to him? love. dhfgkjgf

Lily Bowen: don’t have much for headcanons. but just... grandma. I love her. lesbian grandma. she/her

Yes Man: the best bot in the Mojave!!! good bot!!!! baby boy. baby. anyways, Masc Nonbinary, bi, and He/They. just loves everyone! easy to make friends with. when he’s allowed to feel other things and say no, he’s still super friendly and happy. he just... he’s filled with love. shaped like a friend. relationships with them? lots and lots of affection, and sweet gestures, and gifts. he tries his best, and likes making people happy. but he’s also a sarcastic shit at times, and can get very passive-aggressive

Fallout 4

Deacon: stealth egg!!!! Trans Masc Genderfluid, Demi-Bi, and He/They/She. 5′5. the sunglasses are to hide who he was. jokes about his depression and anxiety and ptsd. which is.. not good. he’s super good at sewing. he has lots of wigs, but that pompadour is his favorite! it’s so so so hard to get him to open up, but when you do, it’s only in private, with said person, but when he is, he’s super sweet and soft-spoken, makes less jokes. sensitive, but has it easier time hiding it when not being... himself

RJ MacCready: trash husband. rude garbage weasel. I want to smooch. Trans Masc, Bi, and he/him. 5′2. don’t call him a mungo, he gets super whiny and pouty. he’s a good dad tho and loves his son very much. probably spoils Duncan a shit ton when he’s cured. he’s very awkward with relationships but is very loving. he’s very nervous something will happen to his partner a lot, considering what happened to Lucy. loves dogs a lot

Nick Valentine: ahh, the reason for my last name. synth detective. BETHESDA LET ME ROMANCE HIM. Questioning his gender, Bi, and He/They. 6′0. it’s easy for him to defuse a situation. one of the sweetest people alive. he’s comforting, and if someone he cares about needs it, will sit by them while they sleep, just to make them feel safe. good singing voice. pre-war Nick wasn’t a movie person, more of a book person, so everyone’s favorite synth detective is the same. puts himself down a lot, because he’s an old synth. especially if you confess to him. doesn’t feel like he deserves whoever is his partner, but is so sweet and loving

Ada: not many headcanons for her yet. tiny lesbian bot, she/her. gives you anything that reminds her of you ;o; and random junk to help build settlements

Oswald the Outrageous: LOVE. good ghoul. Trans Masc Nonbinary, Demi-Bi/Ace, and He/They. 6′2. autistic, love performance and painting. tbh? water is a big sensory issue, especially now because water has been described as ‘sludge’ now. often covered in paint

Kent Connolly: I love him and his excitement. Demi and He/Him. 5′7. autistic and his special interest is The Unstoppables! specifically the Silver Shroud! sweet man. easily flustered

Fallout 76

Mordecai McCoy: good ol Morty-Mort. Trans Masc, Bi, and He/Him. 5′6. wants to make a name for himself, besides just being able to go into heavily irradiated places for people. a sweet man and easily excitable, but always tries to put on like.. a kinda tough guy act. but it’s super easy to break. likes to joke around a lot, and can be a flirt

ok to rb!!!

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

DUDE can u imagine like, Izuku has decay quirk and Aizawa sees him use it and remember Shiggy and the USJ and how he literally had his elbow decayed like, I think he would be at least a little freaked out by it djfjihir basically ANGST

BRO HOLY SHIT IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND??? NONY UR GALAXY BRAIN IS A LITTLE EVIL

I LOVE THIS IDEA THO OHHHH FUCK OH FUCK,,,

i imagine it’d be the first time the quirk rears it’s head So mido just accidentally like decays his desk or smth and aizawa’s crippling ptsd is like “o- OH SOUND THE ALARM SOUND THE FUCKING ALARM” god rip this man

anyway by “sounding the alarm” he just reflexively flings his capture weapon @ mido and can u blame him bc mido is also freaking out now so he’s gonna hurt himself or smne else if he continues like that

anyway but ofc mido accidentally decays the capture weapon too and now aizawa activates his quirk

mido calms down while aizawa just keeps his eyes trained on him and iida probs goes to get all might or nezu or someone but aizawa just cannot. stop staring. at his problem child. like literally

every time he wants to blink or glance around to make sure the other students are okay, alarm bells ring in the back of his head like HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU but he’s midoriya HE HAS THE KILL QUIRK he is having an Episode

anyway all might nd mic probs show up soon nd all might takes care of mido while mic is like “hey sho you okay??” and aizawa just needs like maybe thirty years to just sit down

anyway i think. he’s not like scared of midoriya of course and he’s still his teacher but he’s really like wary around mido for a while. and mido cant blame him rlly bc he has his Owns issues w having this quirk (u dont get held by the throat like he was that one time w/o lasting issues) and beyond that, to aizawa’s knowledge he keeps sprouting quirks seemingly out of nowhere and he knows aizawa’s trauma probably made immediate Associations with the decay quirk too but it still hurts he misses dadzawa :^(

im sure mic nd all might talk w aizawa abt it and he gets on somewhat even footing w mido again. nd eventually he’d have a talk w mido himself abt like “sorry ive been acting kinda unprofessional its the ptsd” and mido gets it bc he Also has some ptsd. can class 1-a do group therapy sessions.

anyway mido starts wearin like one/two-fingered gloves nd that makes aizawa feel,,a lot better a lot less tense and suspicious and also it helps mido to reign it in so it’s a win-win. it doesnt fix their issues ofc but it’s a good thing to help ease em

but still,,,bro,,,bro this hurt i,,,nony,,,

[bau-rookie]

started the last season of Castle, so some random thoughts (tons of spoilers for s6-s7, some of s8):

okay this ended up longer than i thought lmao this is what happens when i obsess over a show and just binge without having anyone to talk abt it so i’ll just put it under the cut:

im not entirely mad about the way they ended season 6, but couldn’t they have done what they did after the wedding. you seriously had everyone all dolled up in the beautiful Hamptons and did nothing with it

when they finally get married in s7, it is lovely and the vows are so sweet. but it did feel a little anti-climactic. i totally was on ryan and esposito’s side when they were salty abt not being there, even if it was impromptu.

i also noticed right away when s7 has different names in the credits. and then s8 had ENTIRELY different names again. so the original producer jumped shipped after s6, then the s7 team didn’t stick around after one season, and it kinda shows. it doesn’t feel like the same show.

that’s not say that it’s BAD. in fact some of the individual eps and their cases are some of the funnest, most interesting ones they’ve put out. like the plane one with Alexis. and the Saw-esque experiment one. but the bigger seasonal arcs are weirdly done.

the whole ‘Castle disappeared for two months’ plot is so contrived, and just seems like something for a show’s changing cast of producers to just fill in the blanks as they go because there is no clear vision for where the show should go anymore.

s8 kinda makes up for it by tying Castle’s disappearance back to Locksat. but!! Beckett’s characterization about the whole thing is so inconsistent. they are so past the point in the relationship where Beckett should feel the need to justify keeping Castle in the dark to protect him.

and when it comes out that Castle’s lost memories were partly about Locksat she is really upset and that scene where she tells him to stop talking and they just start drinking??? what??? they are MARRIED ffs, they’ve learned by now to just talk things out?? esp Beckett who they emphasized is willing to put in the work like when she voluntarily went to therapy for her PTSD in s4.

like yeah Castle, decided to have his memories abt Locksat wiped, so there is intent to keep things secret there, but that is not the same to the way Beckett consciously made the decision to lie to him

Castle had every right to be mad about Beckett leaving him, because it was kinda unnecessary. the moment Beckett comes to her senses and apologizes, her apology is just too little too late. ‘Don’t make me do this alone’ is also a little insincere, because she brought it on herself if Castle has had enough.

it looks like Castle isn’t going to forgive her immediately, but then... he kisses her and everything’s okay suddenly. cuz they’re in love and horny for each other, i guess lmao

i also dislike how they end seasons with this huge cliffhanger moments and big decisions only to have them reverse them after only a few episodes. how do you expect ur characters to change and grow if you just keep them in the same situations?

like Beckett being Captain is a huge deal, but oh she also happens to become the Captain of the 12th Precinct?? im pretty sure that’s not how it works.

the only growth from Ryan’s side so far is that he... is having a second kid? off screen? like we get it his married and he’s a dad. lol.

the animosity with Esposito abt the sergeant’s exam had potential, but they really had to resolve it with ‘you took a bullet for me bro’. like they couldn’t just actually talk abt their feelings.

all this Lanie/Esposito buildup for nothing lmao. they seriously dangled a potential new love interest in that train hijacking, and had them go ‘nope you have Lanie, don’t take her for granted’ and then they just. break up amicably anyway.

what is up with s8 and replacing familiar faces with new ones? im surprised Gates left, just when she seemed to be getting more airtime on the show. also where is Tori??? is Vikram our new tech guy now????

Haley, is pretty cool. tho i hate how they shoe horned her into Castle’s missing two months arc. she’s solid enough of a character to hold out on her own, and would’ve preferred her just growing attached to Castle (or maybe just more to Alexis) and just becoming an ally/friend that way.

i will end with one thing S8 has going for it: ALEXIS CASTLE!!! after sidelining her in S6 with that awful Pi storyline and being almost non-existent in s7, they just abandoned all pretense of her still being in college and just made her a Private Eye in her own right. PI Alexis kicks ass!! Haley mentoring her is wonderful. they’re using Alexis to her max potential, and her short hair looks this season, iconic. i’ve always loved Alexis, now im sticking it out for her.

[sumeshi-t]

fav fic game!!!

tagged by: @writeiolite 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 bby this is so long overdue and I ONLY JUST NOW saw that u responded to my ask on ur bday ALSKSISNJED and it made me vvvv soft eye u give me uwu's ma'am, like lots- i hope you've been doing well, been drinking ur boba AND water, and that you continue sLAAAAYYYIIIN kween 🤩

n e waysss HAHAHA

rules: make a new post and talk abt one of ur own fav written works

👁👄👁 as i stare at my little content on here... pffft- aight, here it goes. watch me break the single rule of putting just (1) fic because i am an indecisive ho.

definitely falling. because it wasn't planned at all, and sakusa, at the time i wrote it, was a character i haven't fully grasped yet like, personality and character-wise. but then i was listening to this sad songs compilation on youtube, focusing on lyrics and i went "🤔 ok this sounds like a good thing to write about... but who? maybe someone hot..." — so when i posted, i didn't have much hopes for it but 😳 the feedback i got, to me, was all a surprise. also it was the first ever fic i had beta-ed, and that didn't take me more than two days to finish, so there's that. i received some asks about a part 2, and i did promise that ahaha- but i haven't worked on it i'm sorry.

i would have had lifetime as one of my fave works too if i had finished it; but, really, i enjoyed my own weird and 'different' take on a hanahaki au. also because i wasn't really confident about writing hinata. it was like, so many firsts: writing for hinata, writing hanahaki au, and taking part in a group of great writers' event. lmao it still kinda gives me a liiiiitle ptsd please don't ask why HAHAHAH but yeah!!! will i ever finish it? eye dee kay

for hc's my fave is... giving head to ushijima LOL i am kidding-

wait actually- why not? HAHAHA it was my first hc's that came in from an ask, and, well, in roleplay, i really do adore playing as stoic characters? like, ngl my confidence isn't the highest but with ushijima and writing him? i think i'm a bit more at ease...? maybe.

okay but seriously the haikyuu love languages one. it was an attempt at analyzing characters KSKSKSKS but it was so fun just... thinking about it. it's not the most accurate i'm sure but, personally, i adore seeing like, mbti stuff of characters around here and see things from different perspectives. writing isn't about giving only tho, it's also uh, mainly, learning and taking in from what you see around you— at least, for me, that's how i think of it HAHAHA

[vausemania]

What's your take on the Alex&Mccolough affair?

Remember how many times Laura described Alex as a “survivor” ? Well, I think that had a lot to do with Alex’s affair with McCullough.

I apologize in advance for the long reply. I’ve been thinking about this since s7 streamed and tbh the whole thing initially upset me even more than the Piper-Zelda thing (and that’s saying something bc Piper cheating on Alex in s3 upset me so damned much). After a month of trying to figure out what the hell happened, I came up with what I think is an explanation (or at least, a partial explanation) for what happened between Alex and McCullough...

So, episode 7x01 finds Alex in a terrible situation—she’s stuck in a Max prison with 3 years still left on her sentence, she has very limited opportunities for any in-person interaction with Piper, she can’t even hold or touch her wife, she’s worried about her marriage because of these restrictions...and on top of all that—she’s being blackmailed into dealing drugs by a CO who shoved a condom filled with heroin down her throat. It’s pretty hard to think of a situation where a person has less control then that...and we know that control is important to Alex. She’s not someone wanting blind power... or even a control freak...but control equals power, and in 7x01, Alex was essentially *powerless*. Because of this, I think Alex allowed the affair with McCullough (McC) to happen (and remember McC was the one who actually initiated it, in 7x07) as a way of getting some degree of control in prison, especially after dealing with a creepy, sadistic CO who forced her to deal drugs. Why McCullough? I think Alex’s interest in McCullough was piqued after she saw McC’s tattoo photo on Nicky’s phone, but I didn’t think much of it at the time because Alex had basically the same reaction when she saw that lingerie catalog model (“Lola”) in s3. Alex and McC’s first meeting in the utility closet (in 7x04) is terribly awkward—Alex turns her head when McC starts undoing her CO shirt (slowly and seductively) and she then looks even more awkward when McC unzips her shirt again to retrieve the chargers she “forgot” in her bra. When Alex sees the “Texas” tattoo on McC in 7x06, though, she teases her about it (“Couldn’t you have gone with “Aloha”?) and McC teases Alex back about her “lucky star” tattoo. This gets a laugh out of Alex, a genuine laugh. While McC is fastening Alex’s bustier onto Alex’s torso (in that same scene)—Alex looks uncomfortable, and maybe even a bit….vulnerable??…but she also doesn’t look like she /dislikes/ what McC is doing. And then we have McCullough’s personality—she’s thoughtful (e.g. suggesting Alex buy a case for her phone lol). conscientious… but she’s also vulnerable and has weaknesses (her PTSD, her feelings for Alex) underneath that dour exterior. In other words, she’s the perfect person to manipulate. Timing       Earlier in that episode (still 7x06), things with Piper had shifted—Alex had suggested an open relationship to give Piper some freedom so she wouldn’t break her parole and wind up back in Max…but then regretted it almost immediately afterwards. Later in 7x06, Piper gets a sexy text from Alex while she’s in her NA meeting and texts back “Stop pushing!”, and I always wondered if that kind of bothered Alex and if so, did it affect her behaviour in the bustier scene that followed, or her response to McCullough’s kiss in 7x07 ? Maybe I’m overthinking that and/or I still find it hard to believe that Piper would turn down any form of sex with Alex lol.

At their next utility closet meeting (in 7x07), Alex is a bundle of nerves, thinking about Piper having sex with other people. McC offers some (really bad) marital advice to Alex, but Alex awkwardly dismisses it and quickly leaves the room after she gets the new chargers from McCullough. At this point, their relationship is still all-business, ..which is surprising because at their next meeting (in a later 7x07 scene) McC kisses Alex…and Alex—-very surprisingly— kisses her back. While this is happening, Alex’s cel phone is ringing on “silent” mode, with  Piper on the other end of the line leaving a message telling Alex sadly that the open relationship thing isn’t working :/ Vauseman have always had terrible timing—they’re like a fucking O.Henry story. Taking Control In their next meeting (in7x08), McC apologizes for kissing Alex, Alex agrees that it was stupid and adds that it was also inappropriate because she’s married, etc. and then they get into an argument about the contraband smuggling that McC is still forcing Alex to do. Alex says that she didn’t ask for McC’s help “to become your mule” and I think this is Alex reacting to a lack of control she thought she had with McC. Despite the kiss they shared, Alex was still being blackmailed into dealing contraband for McCullough. She angrily reminds McC that if caught, she could have extra time added to her prison sentence (even though Alex was kind of cavalier abt it when she initially suggested smuggling chargers). I think though, that Alex *really* resented being forced to be someone’s drug mule…again. If you recall, Alex proudly described her career rise in Kubra’s cartel to Badison (in 6x07) as “a simple mule who climbed the ranks to become a top trafficker in a transnational criminal organization” and I think Alex strongly resented McC’s power over her *even more* bc of the high rank she once had in the cartel. Later in that episode, Alex narrowly misses getting caught with contraband in her cell and (by the look on her face) McC realizes just how much danger she’s putting Alex in. She comes by Alex’s bunk later on and tells her she can stop smuggling chargers, apologizes, and gives her a couple of chargers as a parting gift. It’s at this point where Alex could have stopped their relationship from progressing beyond that single kiss—she’s free from McC’s blackmail but she’s still on good terms with her—-but then Alex kisses McCullough once, and then a second time (after McC gently resists, then relents) and slowly pulls her into her bunk. Immediately before this scene, though, Alex is seen composing a text to Piper (“I need to tell you something…”) but then she erases it just before McCullough enters her cell. I think Alex felt guilty about kissing McC in 7x07, but on the other hand, she chooses not to send Piper that text. Why? I think Alex took the relationship with McC to another level in this scene because she wanted to have control over her…and McC was even easier to manipulate now that Alex knew *just* how much McC cared for her. Was Alex hoping that by being in a relationship with McC she’d continue to watch Alex’s back (ie. so she could avoid dealing with Hellman again) ?? Alex knew that McC wasn’t happy being a CO, so perhaps continuing their affair was Alex’s way of ensuring she’d continue working at Litchfield Max?? If so, yes–it’s cold-hearted and mercenary of Alex to exploit McCullough’s weaknesses, but Alex is pragmatic… and she’s a survivor. And surviving prison and not getting any extra time added to her sentence is what she vowed to Piper at their wedding. In their next utility closet meeting (7x09), Alex says she doesn’t want to “stop….selling chargers”, smiles at McC (in a way that indicates she’s not just talking about selling contraband) and continues to turn on the charm. At their next visitation, Piper tells Alex that she had sex with two randoms and met someone named Zelda who was her roommate at a retreat. When Piper asks if  McC is still making Alex sell chargers, Alex says “No”…which isn’t technically a lie (bc it was Alex’s decision to continue selling them)….but it really is lying…and Alex is breaking her wedding vows by continuing the smuggling operation. As bad as that is, though, I’m pretty sure Alex thought it was the lesser of two evils (breaking her vows vs. being able to bend McC to her will and have some form of control/safety in a harsh prison situation). Alex’s pragmatism at work again... Thoughts –Did Alex consciously turn McCullough into *her* mule? Because it seems to me that Alex had the upper hand now, being able to manipulate McC into continuing their illegal activity… –Was there some affection for McCullough on Alex’s part, because of the way Alex comforted her in the next episode (7x10)? As I said in a long reply to a recent ‘ask’, I don’t think Alex is someone who is looking for broken people to make her feel needed and that’s why she comforted McC; I personally think she genuinely felt sorry for McC and that’s why she hugged her after she saw McC’s burn marks.Protecting Her HeartThe shower scene in 7x10 is pretty easy to explain—Alex, after not being able to get in touch with Piper, finds out that Piper and Zelda have been hanging out a lot (thanks to Instagram), Alex is hurt by this so she decides to amp things up and protect herself from Piper by initiating sex with McCullough in this scene. Alex even admits to Piper that this was her reason for doing so in their 7x12 visitation scene (“I was trying to protect myself”….“I was scared that you would leave me”). It’s interesting that Alex has *never* done that before (protecting her heart like that) in any previous season…. because she could have done it in s1 (with the Larry situation) or in s3 (Dark!Piper’s cheating with Stella). In s7, though, Alex is still in prison and Piper is free, and Alex has absolutely no control over what Piper is doing with other people….one of whom is /not/ a random stranger but someone Piper obviously likes. Things Get Better….and Then They Don’t …and Then They Live Happily Ever After :)  Episode 7x11 sees Alex opening up the envelope with Piper’s love notes, and in her next scene with McC, Alex calls off their affair completely and apologizes for making McC think it was a real relationship (even tho Alex told her it was real, in the shower scene). I honestly think Alex was trying to let McCullough down easily by saying “It could be if things were different, but I’m married”. I don’t think she would *ever* choose someone else over Piper. Like never. McCullough is hurt by the breakup and gets Alex transferred to a prison in Ohio, Piper moves there to be with her wife, we see them touching hands (!) during some future prison visitation in Ohio, and they live happily ever after :)       One last thought I absolutely hate what happened with Alex and McC (and btw you will never see me using the term “McVause” after this post because ugh) and I didn’t see it coming *at all* based on Alex’s behaviour in seasons 1-6, so I was completely blindsided and in total shock after watching season 7. Thank god, though, that it was McCullough who discovered Alex trying to put the drugs into Hellman’s locker and not some other CO or we’d have had a very different season 7 and who  knows what would have happened to Alex in Max :/

Thanks for the ‘ask’ and once again, sorry for the long reply. A lot of it could have been said more concisely, but it was also me putting thoughts into written words as I tried to figure out what the hell happened in s7.