#maybe somehow they are half siblings and if not that then well. same trauma? same trauma

[soulscrying]

@heartinhands: ‘ throwing the battle? looks to me like you just plain old lost the battle. ’

if raven had learned anything about dante, it was this: what he lacked in brain cells, he made up for in audacity. this revelation made her blood boil, but she couldn't afford to lash out at him. giving into any volatile emotions for even a second would only serve to worsen their current circumstances and, subsequently, prolong their time together.

neither of them were particularly keen on this prospect becoming a reality.

raven instead looses a scoff, effectively expelling the string of insults burning the tip of her tongue. “you know, if you'd just kept your mouth shut, that minotaur wouldn't have charged at us to begin with." and by proxy, she wants to add, it also wouldn't have brought down several layers of limestone on top of them, stalactites and all.

she kicks a meandering piece of rubble in his direction. it unfortunately does not nick him in the head nor assist in clearing out the cavern's passageway. "besides, picking fights with pissed off interdimensional beings is part of your job description, not mine."

[sirspazingtonthefourth]

Did You Miss Me?

Summary: Katsuki worries that you might be cheating on him when you don’t seem to miss him when he leaves on long missions. 7.5k, angsty fluff, domesticity, Bakugo x Reader

A/N: A story I’ve had kicking around for a while and decided to write and post. It is almost entirely fluff, with a little bit of angst mixed in. It’s aimed at military brats in general and I may or may not have written this to help myself deal with that trauma a little bit.

Content Warnings: Cursing, implied sex once, suspecting partner of cheating, might be a little ooc

You were terrible at expressing your emotions. It had always been that way. You never learned how to say the things you wanted to say, and you hardly even understood them enough to know what you felt at all.

It was one of the reasons you and Katsuki got along so well.

You two had met at the entrance exam to U.A., and it had been anything but a happy meeting. He’d thought you were stuck up, and you’d thought he was an ass. You both somehow ended up in Class 1A together, and had butted heads through half of the first year. But somewhere in that half a year, something about the way you saw each other changed.

You couldn’t put your finger on it, at first. The both of you sniped at each other as you had been doing for months, still insulted each other, still tormented each other. But somewhere along the way you both realized a fundamental misunderstanding in your communication.

Katsuki, you realized, didn’t talk with words. At least, he didn’t express what he meant with words. And you, he realized, didn’t either. Katsuki spoke with actions, and you spoke with body language. And once you both realized that, no one could tell the difference between how you two acted.

You both sniped still, insulted still, tormented still. But you were actually speaking to each other now, in a language no one else understood. His friends knew his actions spoke louder than his words, that he rarely meant his insults wholeheartedly, but they could not trade words without speaking one, as the two of you did by the end of that first year.

“How do you do that?” he asked aloud that summer, staring up at the stars from his backyard. The two of you had just had a silent argument in front of both your parents at your birthday party. It hadn’t been anything big, just friendly teasing about your choice in cake flavor.

“Do what?”

“Talk like that. You say things without talking, and you’ve started to do these weird… bird chips too. How do you talk like that?” You shrugged, laying down next to him to look at the stars too.

“Oh, the chirps? You just-”

“I don’t mean how you physically do it. How do you understand what I mean, even when I don’t say anything?”

“Because you do say things.” You turned to look at each other, and the look of contentment on your face melted Katsuki’s heart a little.

“Every time you crunch your nose when you’re confused, or raise your left eyebrow when you’re impressed, or scoff when you get embarrassed, you say something without even meaning to.”

“Tch, whatever,” he grumbled, turning back to the stars to hide the light blush on his cheeks.

“See, you did it just now, Pop Tart.” You poked his cheek as he pouted at the sky.

“I’m not a damn Pop Tart, whatever the hell that is.”

“‘Course you are! I mean, you’ve got such a sour personality, it’s a wonder anyone can stand you,” you said with a smile. “And when you get angry, you set your quirk off a little, even if you don’t mean to. It makes this little popping noise. So, Pop Tart.”

It was quiet between you two for a while, the sound of both of your parents talking amongst each other reaching into the night through the screen door. Your siblings were upstairs, keeping each other busy away from the adults. Maybe playing hide and seek, maybe just yelling at each other, speaking to one another the same way you spoke to Katsuki.

“Why do you talk like that? Without saying anything?” Katsuki whispered. You sat, still staring at the stars as you tried to figure out what to say. He almost thought you hadn’t heard, when you replied.

“Because words never worked for me. I mean, you’ve met my dad, he’s a bit of a hot head. Worse than you, sometimes,” you chuckle lightly, trying to push away the bad memories. “Someone like that isn’t in touch with his emotions enough to teach a kid how to talk about them, let alone how to deal with them. So I taught myself a way.”

You both kept talking that way your whole lives. Your classmates picked up that they could talk to you without talking, but only a few realized how to talk back. Katsuki, of all of them, was still the most fluent in that language, one you had spoken before learning how to actually talk.

You knew what he had meant in second year, when he sat with you in a tree after school, stuttering over his words and unwilling to meet your eyes as pink dusted over his cheeks. You had kissed him, just a quick peck on the lips. He knew what you meant when you pressed your forehead to his after, eyes scrunched tight and noses brushing together.

He had known what you had meant when you stood outside his dorm in the middle of the night a month later, dark rings under your eyes as you stared at nothing, looking so much smaller than you had ever let yourself be seen. He had pulled you into his chest, clutching you tight as you did the same, tears finally slipping from your eyes. And you had known what he meant when he rested his head on yours as you cried into his shoulder.

You stayed with him once your family left, the military calling your mother back to the States, your father and younger siblings in tow. The two of you had been prepared to fight on the matter. Fight for you to stay behind, finish your education at U.A. But it hadn’t been necessary. Your parents and his had pulled you two aside and suggested the idea before the two of you could even bring it up.

Your families had grown close over the year you and Katsuki had been friends, and your parents would have no one else house you if you were to stay. You both agreed quickly, and within two weeks of the conversation, you were moved into the Bakugo’s spare bedroom and your family had moved back to somewhere in the States.

It was the first time he noticed something truly strange about you. You moved on with your life almost too quickly. You adjusted to living with him and his family within a week, as if you had always lived with them. You never talked about your family. Granted, you rarely had, there’d been no need. Your house was practically Katsuki’s house too, your younger siblings had practically become his, too. Hell, he found himself missing them more than you seemed to.

But he brushed it off. After all, it was the middle of the school year. You couldn’t exactly let this shake you with the mandatory work studies and homework and all. And you still called your family, when you could. Time zones were quite the pain, but you made it work.

You graduated together. You were there when he and Eijiro opened their agency a year later. Hell, you were the first person to turn in an application to join, handing it to him the moment he clocked into the place for the first time. It was more a gesture, you both knew; you could have handed it to him that morning at the breakfast table.

Through everything, you both made communication a priority. You were both well aware of how you two couldn’t talk about your emotions to save your lives, so sat down regularly to talk things through. Even when your anger issues fed off each other and the two of you blew up, you would make it a point to come back later and talk it through. Sometimes it took a few days, sometimes you needed to talk with a friend to mediate, but you would talk.

You both wanted this to work. Katsuki knew that. You wouldn’t put so much effort into something you didn’t want to work out. Neither would he. But lately, something had been feeling wrong.

Katsuki and you both had started to take missions that required you to leave for weeks at a time. He always made a big deal about you leaving, getting a “last date” in before you left. He'd almost made you late for several flights because he didn’t want to say goodbye yet. When you were gone, he couldn’t wait for you to get back. He was antsier than normal, more likely to snap at the heroes and sidekicks at the agency. He called you every night before you went to bed, even if it meant he had to wake up at 3 a.m. to wish you good night.

When you got back, there was always something that had to happen. A date of some kind, no matter how small. He would be nigh inseparable from you for hours, showering you with affection the whole time. Whether he picked you up from the airport or you took an Uber back to the house, the first thing he would always do was pull you into him, smothering you in a hug and kissing you all over your face to make up for lost time.

But when he left… it was different.

You went on a “last date” with him, too, but it never seemed like you were as desperate to make the most of it like he was. You’d help him pack, sneaking in some of his favorite snacks somehow no matter how hard he tried to keep you from doing it. You’d kiss him at the door, or at the airport if you dropped him off, but it was him that always tried to stay longer, never you trying to make him stay. No one ever mentioned you seeming more stressed with him gone, even Mina and Eijiro, who could read your body language almost as well as Katsuki himself could after seven years of constantly being around you.

When he got back, you would have your own little celebration. You’d greet him at the airport gate, pulling him into you for a hug as he did for you, rubbing your head against his in a gesture that meant more to you than kissing him ever could, whispering how you missed him. You’d make a meal, cuddle under a blanket for a movie night that would often turn into something more.

But you were not constantly seeking to be by his side, like he was seeking to be by yours. You never pulled him into you like he was the last source of air, like he did for you. The thing that really made him suspicious was that you outright said that you missed him. You never outright said what you were feeling. You were too uncertain of how, usually.

“It just… it feels like they don’t miss me when I’m gone,” he confessed to Eijiro. It was one of his days off while you were gone, something he hated since it meant he had nothing to do and you weren’t there. The two of them were sitting in a nice cafe in a back corner, away from windows with hats pulled low to hopefully avoid being spotted.

“Have you guys talked about it yet?” the red-head asked. “If it’s really bothering you that much you know they wouldn’t brush you off.” Katsuki’s leg was bouncing under the table, and he raised the paper coffee cup to his lips. It was good coffee, one of your favorite places, in fact.

“It’s just… what if there’s someone else?” Eijiro choked a little, setting the cup down and turning his head as he tried to hack up the coffee that had gone down the wrong pipe.

“I know, I don’t think they’d do that either, but-”

“Clearly you do, if you’re bringing it up. Seriously, man, talk to them. As soon as you can. What even makes you think that, anyway? You know how they feel about stuff like that. They can’t even stand when two love interests try to kiss when one of them is in a relationship, and that’s TV.”

Katsuki rubbed at his face, shaking his head. His hand came to rest on his mouth as he tried to form into words what he was thinking. There was an old coffee stain on the edge of the wooden table. He remembered it from one of your first dates. Someone had closed the cash register too loudly and you’d jumped, spilling coffee over the table and your leg. It was an old joke between you both, now.

“I don’t really know. But… they don’t seem like they miss me, and I can’t think of another reason they wouldn’t. It doesn’t make any sense!” His hands ran into his hair, tugging on the strands as his hat began to ride up. Eijiro let out a sigh, the two of them oblivious to the growing noise in the cafe.

“Whatever you decide to do, it should probably be face to face. This is not the kind of conversation you have with someone over the phone.”

“You got that right,” Katsuki mumbled, hands pushing his hat further up his head.

“Mommy, look! It’s Dynamight!” Oh shit.

The day you got back was tense. All the usual things Katsuki would have planned were canceled. Eijiro was right, he needed to talk to you about this. He asked Mina and Eijiro to show up, just in case it turned into a fight. He prayed it wouldn’t.

He picked you up at the airport, pulled you into him like he always did, but you knew something was wrong. His shoulders were tense, and he had looked nervous when you saw him. He pulled away faster than normal, hands on your shoulders to tell you he meant business.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about tonight.”

You were tired. You’d just gotten off a four hour flight, the mission had been exhausting, and you hadn’t slept right since you left home. You never slept right without Katsuki around. The part of you that sounded like your dad told you to brush him off, reprimand him for asking this of you so soon after your arrival.

The rest of you told that part to shove it. Katsuki was worried, and he wanted to talk about something. You owed it to him as your partner to talk it over with him, whatever it turned out to be.

“Of course, Love. Am I allowed to change beforehand?” You cracked a small smile, resting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder so he knew you were taking him seriously, so he knew the joke wasn’t meant to be a jab. He smiled in return, resting his head against yours.

“I guess.”

Katsuki’s prayers were answered. The conversation didn’t turn into a fight. In fact, it didn’t happen at all. Almost as soon as he got home, right as you left to change into clothes that didn’t “reek of plane and airport,” as you liked to put it, his manager called.

“Hello, Dynamight. I know this is short notice, but there’s been an emergency in Okinawa. It’s all hands on deck over there, and we need you to get over there. There’s a plane leaving in five hours, we need you on it. I’ll text you the details.”

“The hell? I have the next two days off and Y/N just got back!”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but this came directly from the Commission. I tried to keep you out of it, but they wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry. It’s supposed to take a month, that was the shortest they would allow you to stay.”

“Tch… fine. Send me the details. I’ll be there.”

“Will do, sir. Sorry, again.”

The line went dead, and Katsuki wanted to throw his phone so badly. Blame it on some accident in the kitchen or something. He couldn’t make it to a flight if he didn’t know where it was, and he couldn’t get the information if he never got that text from his manager.

“You have to go in, don’t you?” Katsuki turned to you. You were on top of the stairs in your favorite pair of pants and an old All Might t-shirt you had stolen from his side of the closet. You still looked tired from the flight, but you gestured for him to come up.

“I’m sorry, baby. I-” You pulled him into a kiss, letting him hold you as you did. When he pulled away, he rested his head on yours, noses touching.

“It’s fine. I know you would have stayed if you could. We can talk about that thing when you get back, okay? Now come on. How long do you have to pack?”

“A couple hours at best. The flight leaves in five hours,” he said. You closed your eyes and nodded softly, taking the information in. You were no doubt already planning what he would need. He could do it himself, you both knew, but it was something you cherished doing with him.

“Alright. How long?”

“A month. But it’s an emergency situation, so it might go longer.” You nodded, pulling your head away and holding his hand as you looked into his eyes. The look you gave him, tired but full of love, made him feel awful for what he wanted to talk to you about.

“Let’s get packing, then.”

When he got to the hotel he would be staying in, he wanted to just collapse. But he was still in outside clothes, and he refused to go to bed without pajamas. He dug into his bag for where you always packed the comfy pants he liked sleeping in.

They were a pair you had ordered for yourself last year with angry chihuahuas, but you’d gotten them in the wrong size. You had been rather upset, excited for the new pair of silly pajama pants, and he had immediately taken them and put them on, fully expecting them to be so ridiculously not his size that it made you laugh. He had not expected them fit him perfectly, and when he walked out with the angry chihuahua pants you had been equally stunned.

The memory of your face when he’d walked out, utterly gobsmacked that the pants had fit him, stuck with him. You had been surprised, and trying not to laugh at his face. And then you’d pretended to accuse him of switching the sizes because he “wanted the damn things so bad,” even though he hadn’t even been in the house when you ordered them. It made him smile, even now as he pulled the pair of pants out. They were bigger and more crinkly than normal.

He pulled the couple bags of snacks out from where you’d folded the pants around them. A bag of extra spicy kaki-no-tane, and two packs of his favorite instant ramen had been hidden in the pants, and the pockets felt like they had some kind of candy in them. But most important was the note you’d taped to the snacks.

Come back to talk to me about that thing, okay Pop Tart?

Love

Y/N

There were a couple of hasty doodles on the note. A few hearts, a stick figure drawing of him blowing up a villain with a cartoonishly angry face, and a stick figure crowd cheering for him. Your notes were as cheesy as they had been in high school, and he laughed. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see you calling.

“Your doodles are still as terrible as always,” he said by way of greeting. You huffed good naturedly on the other end.

“Well, I’m sorry Mr. Art Critic, sir, but I only had a few minutes to make them.”

“In a few minutes you still managed to make my mouth bigger than my damn head. And the hearts? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had feelings for me.” The exchange felt nice, but something about it felt hollow to him. The nagging feeling that you had someone else wouldn’t leave him alone, making him feel guilty for having this silly little conversation with you.

“Maybe I do, or maybe I thought they just enhanced my masterpiece.” You sounded less tired than earlier. Maybe you’d gotten a nap in. Maybe someone else was there with you, making you feel better after a long day.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, trying to sound as happy as you did. But it was hard. The doubt, the frustration, and the missing you all made it hard.

“... It’s really bothering you, huh? That thing you wanted to talk about?” He sighed. Even three hours and hundreds of miles away, you could read him.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to feel worried about something like… like whatever it is that’s bothering you.” He almost broke, told you right there what was scaring him so much.

“I… I don’t think I can talk about it over the phone. It’s a face to face kind of conversation, you know?” he said, swallowing a lump in his throat. He could almost see you nodding, that stupid, warm smile on your face you used to reassure him.

“I get it. And I meant what I wrote on that note. Come back, so you can tell me all about it. Don’t think you get to die just to get out of talking through this,” you said, and he could hear your own throat start to tighten.

“I will. Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Katsuki. Love.” He smirked at your unconventional confession. Though he supposed he wasn’t much better, for playing along with it.

“Love, too.”

The month dragged on for Katsuki. Helping with the disaster relief, keeping villains from taking advantage of the weakened infrastructure, and his worry made every hour feel like days. But he had a date marked on his calendar, exactly a month after he left. The day the Commission said he could go home.

Until it wasn’t

“Those fucking bastards! Changing the date last minute. They told me I’d leave tomorrow two days after I got here, just to fuckin’... Others are going home on time, but-”

“Katsu, hey.” You pulled his attention back to your face on the computer screen. Your arm was stretched out of frame, and he just knew you were holding your laptop screen. “It’s okay. I had a feeling.”

“It’s not okay! First they pull me here right after you get back, despite the time I took off, then they change the day I’m supposed to go home… Sometimes I just wish I was able to blast myself all the way back to you, so they can’t keep me here like this.” It felt like he’d grabbed your heart and squeezed it. You had to hold back a couple tears, and you resolved to call your mother about it later. You owed her… you weren’t sure what, but you owed her something.

Katsuki was just sitting silent on the other end, staring at you for a minute.

“What do you mean, you had a feeling?” There was the edge of suspicion in his voice, and it cut. You didn’t know what he suspected of you, but it hurt that he did at all.

“It was like this with Mom a lot. Anytime she would tell us when she was going to come home, it would get changed. It’s why I told you not to tell me, it’s bad luck.”

“But I’ve told you when I’ll come home before, and you’ve told me too. It hasn’t changed before. The Commission’s just being-”

“A government entity that doesn’t care about either of us beyond numbers in a list. Pieces to push around on the board. The other times were with other agencies, and agencies care about their heroes because their heroes are the ones running the agencies. The Commission doesn’t give a shit.”

He sighed on the other end. He was laying on his stomach talking to you, chin in his hand as he turned his head away. His elbow braced him against the bed, and his feet kicked up behind him. He would kill you if you mentioned that he kicked his feet up like a teen girl on her phone to anyone. It made it that much more funny to you.

“It sucks. I just wanna get home, and now I have to wait another week.”

“Check the inside pocket on your suitcase,” you said, a mischievous little smirk starting on your face.

“You didn’t.”

“You won’t know unless you look~!” You sang. He huffed, going off screen to check his bag. It took too long.

“The other pocket,” you yelled. You heard the telltale crinkling of the bag of wasabi kaki-no-tane and Katsuki cursing you as he stomped back to the bed.

“How the fuck do you always manage to sneak these things in?! I swear, you have a second quirk you aren’t telling me about,” he said, opening the bag and grabbing a few pieces.

“Sure I do. Not my fault you never check your bag,” You shot back.

“I do! And then this shit appears out of nowhere!” You laughed at his false indignation. You knew he liked the snacks, or you wouldn’t pack them. Plus, it was a game the two of you could play, no matter how far apart you were. No matter how suspicious of you he felt.

“I’m going to have some extra time while I’m here. Anything you want?” He asked. You snapped back into reality. You hadn’t even realized you’d started to drift away.

“Oh, um… Could you bring back some brown sugar senbei? They’re super tasty, and I wanna mail some to Mom for Christmas.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll pick a couple packs up. We could just get some back home, you know.”

“I do, but the Okinawan ones taste better, and those cost an arm and a leg everywhere else.”

“So I hear. Anything else you need?”

“Nah, just the head of whoever made the decision to yank you around, but they’re probably here, which means I can get that myself,” you joked. Katsuki cracked a smile.

“Careful, they might be listening to you through your computer mic and charge you with conspiracy to commit murder. Then we’d have to go on the run, and you and I both know Ei couldn’t handle running the agency alone.”

“He won’t be alone, he’s got Mina and Denki and Sero.”

“Oh, yes, and they just inspire confidence.” You blew a raspberry at him and his attitude.

“You know damn well they can handle it if it’s all four of them.”

“You’re right, I do.” Katsuki fought down a yawn. “I gotta turn in. G’night, Y/N.”

“Night, Katsu. Stay safe.”

“I will.”

There was another delay in getting Katsuki home, and you scolded him for mentioning he had a week left. You made him promise not to tell you until he was on the plane and had taken off that he was coming home. You worked on getting ingredients together to make mapo tofu and miso butter cookies in the meantime. You wanted to have everything put together for when he got home.

You had a feeling he was going to want to talk to you the minute he got home, so you called Eijiro and Mina to let them know ahead of time that you would be calling them in to mediate. You didn’t think it would escalate, but Katsuki had been sitting on this for over a month. He might blow up after keeping a lid on this for so long. He had been adamant about not talking about whatever was bothering him over the phone, and you didn’t push him.

The minute you got the text that he had taken off, at 2:27 p.m., you started cooking. You didn’t want to cook the tofu until he got back, so he could have a fresh, hot meal, but the cookies could be made ahead of time. Once they were done, you did a quick round of the house to make sure everything was put away and clean.

You checked the time. 5 p.m. You grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and a packet of Airborne. You opened the packet and the water bottle, dumped the powder in, and popped the cap back on. You shook the bottle to mix the two together all the way to your car.

It was with you as you sat in the arrivals area in the airport, waiting for Katsuki’s flight. You’d been waiting for twenty minutes. Not uncommon, but you were worried. Had something happened once he got airborne? Had the plane needed to turn back? You checked your phone for any new messages from Katsuki.

The waiting was always the worst part. Flights weren’t always on time, and you hated it. It meant you could never be certain when Katsuki was going to be in your reach again. Or if something had happened that the tower just hadn’t found out about yet.

The relief you felt when you looked at the big screen displaying the arrivals and departures and saw that Katsuki’s flight had landed ten minutes ago almost knocked the wind out of you. He was safe, nothing had happened midair, he would probably be out in a few minutes.

Ten more minutes passed before you saw Katsuki walk out among the crowd. He had his carry on bag over one shoulder, scanning the crowd of people sitting, looking for you. You stood, walking over to him. He picked up the pace once he saw you, crushing you with a hug once you got close enough and burying his head in the crook of your neck.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” you said to him. His shoulders tensed a little. You’d said the wrong thing. Or maybe it was something you’d done. Whatever it was, you didn’t know what to do to fix it.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered into your neck, not letting go of you despite his want to leave.

“Okay,” you said, pushing your head into his through the ball cap he wore, waiting for him to let go so you could go get his suitcase. He did eventually let go, and you handed him the water bottle.

“Okinawa’s hot this time of year, and you just got off a plane,” you said as you handed it to him. He stared at the pink lemonade flavored death you’d just handed him.

“You trying to kill me or something?”

“Look, I hate it too, but it does work and I don’t want you getting sick right after you’ve gotten home.” He rolled his eyes, but did as you asked and drank the vitamin C rich water. You pretended not to notice him fake gagging after he’d downed the water bottle as you walked towards the baggage claim.

When you got home, Eijiro and Mina were already there. You had long since given Mina a key to your house, and Katsuki had given one to Ei. They were your closest friends, welcome in your home anytime, even if you had to fight Katsuki to agree to give them the keys. He’d said they could know they were welcome without having the keys, but he ultimately caved.

The worrying part was that you hadn’t asked them to come over or told them Katsuki was home yet. Which meant Katsuki had called them. Which meant he was also worried this would blow up. Not a good sign.

You greeted your friends before helping Katsuki carry his bags upstairs. He didn’t even take time to change clothes or unpack anything before heading back downstairs. That really set off alarm bells. True, you both had only been taking missions out of the city for a year now, and Katsuki didn’t always unpack and change right away like you, but it didn’t sit well with you.

You both sat in the living room facing each other. Mina had made tea, a small tactic to keep things civil. You couldn’t very well flip a table over dishes when there were dishes on the table.

Eijiro sat to Katsuki’s right, Mina on your left. That way they could signal each other without necessarily alerting either of you in case they needed to act without you both noticing.

“Okay, Katsuki. We’re both here, what do you need to talk about?” He took a deep breath through his nose, gathering his strength. His fingers were steepled, hiding the lower half of his face as he stared at the coffee table between you. Kirishima rested a hand on his shoulder to encourage him.

“Do you miss me?” he blurted out, looking you in the eyes. “When I leave, do you miss me at all?” It felt… bad. You didn’t know how to describe the feeling, though you supposed hurt was the best way to say it. 

“Of course I do. Why would y-” you stopped yourself. This wasn’t a blame-game, he was worried. “What was it that… that gave you the impression that I didn’t?” You looked away from him as you chose your words, but you brought your gaze back to his as you finished.

“You… you don’t act like you miss me. You don’t… treat me how I treat you when you come back. Or when I leave. It’s like it’s just a normal day for you!” His shoulders were tightening, and he tore his gaze from you, like he couldn’t stand the sight of you.

“Hey, man. Calm down,” Ei urged.

“Okay,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “What exactly do you mean, when you say I don’t treat you like you treat me?”

“Do you honestly not see it? I… When you’re about to go, I take every second I can with you. I feel like part of me is gone when you aren’t here, and-” Katsuki started to stand, and Eijiro stepped in.

“Sit down, Kat. You’re worked up. Take a breath, a drink, something.” Katsuki looked like he wanted to challenge the red head, but Mina stood too.

“Bakugo, he’s right. You need to calm down.” He sighed, collapsing back to the couch. You had a feeling he’d been planning on pacing, but it was best for everyone to stay seated. It was easier to get worked up if you were already up and moving around. Katsuki took a drink of the tea, wincing as he burned his tongue. You reached a hand across the table to him, and he took it as he set the cup down.

“... I’m different, when you’re gone. Everyone knows it. Hell, Ei’s had to stop me from blasting a hole in my desk over the stupidest shit when you’re gone. When you get back I…”

He sat, thinking about how to say wherever it was he needed to say. You rubbed your thumb across the back of his hand to comfort him, and he did the same.

“I can’t let you go when you leave or when you come back. But when I leave… you act like you don’t care.”

“Of course I care!” You interrupted. You winced as soon as you said it. Why was it that the tactics you hated when they were used against you were always the first ones you used? “Sorry. Please, continue.” Katsuki nodded.

“You don’t seem like you value the time before I go the same way I do. No one notices you acting any different at the agency when I’m not around. You don’t… you act like there’s someone else here while I’m gone.”

The bottom dropped out of your stomach. He thought what?

“And I don’t think you would, but I don’t know why else you would act like that. I mean, you don’t talk about how you feel, even less than me. But every time I come back you have to tell me that you missed me, and it just… it doesn’t make sense.” He spat out all at once, his free hand tangling itself in his hair.

You just sat there, breathing. Did he think you were cheating on him? Or was it just his bad communication skills? Granted, they were better than they were, but it was times like these you wondered how much they’d improved.

“Katsuki,” you said, reaching your second hand to grab his, “if I tell you that there’s no one else, will you believe me?” Tears were starting to fall as you looked at him. He moved his hand from his hair, wrapping it around yours.

“Promise me.” He lifted his hands from yours, leaving you free to hold your hands up. It was something you’d started with your siblings. The childish game of crossing your fingers behind your back to get out of a promise had taken hold in them when they were younger, and so to prove honesty you would hold your hands in front of you. Proof that you meant what you said. It was something you still did, no matter how childish it seemed.

“Katsuki, I promise you… I would never, ever, cheat on you.” Relief washed over Katsuki, the tension draining from his shoulders as he watched you.

“I believe you. And… I’m sorry, I don’t- I…” You rested a hand on his again, tears still bubbling op and spilling out from your eyes.

“What do you actually want to ask? Because if you actually thought I was cheating-”

“I didn’t! I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of another reason you would act like that.” He’d cut you off, but you decided to let it slide.

“Like what?”

“Like me leaving isn’t a big deal! When you leave, it feels like everything falls apart. When I leave you just… act like it’s business as usual.” he took a deep breath, grabbing your hand from across the table. You nodded in understanding.

“Do you think you’d feel okay doing the rest of this in private?”

“Yeah. Just… didn’t want things to get out of hand. Are you okay with that?” you nodded.

“Okay, Eiji. You heard them. We come back to find the house destroyed again and you both are grounded, ‘kay?” Mina half-joked. There would be hell to pay if she found out you two started fighting once they were gone. Eijiro got up to go with her, giving a last supportive pat on Katsuki’s back before walking out the door.

You took a breath, drawing back into yourself as you carefully put the words together.

“When you leave… I don’t know. I don’t miss you the same way you miss me. I can’t miss you like you miss me. I don’t know how, I guess.” You paused, taking a minute to breathe. You were already crying, and you still needed to explain. Katsuki didn’t ask anything as you pulled yourself together, so you continued.

“Mom… the first memory I have of her is when I was two. She’s in the kitchen making eggs. My second is a couple months later. She was in the desert, and she’d recorded a message to send to me and Dad. She couldn’t come home when she said she would. She… was trying really hard not to cry.” Again you paused. Again, Katsuki didn’t ask anything.

“That kept happening. Over and over and over again. I got older and older, and I started to understand what it meant for her to leave. I never knew for sure when she’d come back, cause if she told us it was almost a guarantee that the date would change. Hell, I didn’t know if she’d come back. And that was everyday for me for a long time.

“The point is… When you have to keep saying goodbye to someone, you learn how to let them go, even if it is just because you can’t remember how to hold on. You keep going because life keeps going and you can’t afford to spend time thinking about how they might not come back this time.”

You took a last, shuddery breath, staring down at the coffee table between you two.

“I don’t know how to miss you like you miss me. I don’t know if I know how to miss anyone, anymore. You’re right, I do say it when I hate downright talking about things like that, but it’s because you deserve to hear it even if I don’t know how to say it how we normally talk. You deserve to be missed. And… and I’m sorry that I don’t-”

Katsuki pulled you to your feet, guiding you around the coffee table towards his couch. You collapse next to him on the couch. He holds you close, and you do the same, crying, terrified that after everything you said, he doesn’t think you care. You do care, you care so much, but you don’t know how to express it. You hardly know how to feel it.

“Hey, shh. It’s alright. I get it.” You sag into him even more, relief flooding through you. He didn’t think you were cheating on him. He didn’t think you didn’t care about him.

“You’re shit at explanations, though. Did you really have to bring your mom into this?” he joked.

“Shut up, you dick,” you laugh back, tears and a little snot still running on your face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know. I should’ve asked.” You gently swatted his shoulder. It was awkward, considering it was behind you, but you made it work.

“You didn’t know to ask. I can’t blame you for that. Thank you for wanting to talk to me about it. Even if you did think there was someone else.” Katsuki chuckled at you, rocking you both on the couch as you just enjoyed each other’s company, something you hadn’t been able to do in person in months.

“Can you blame me? You and I both know you could pull just about anybody you wanted. Long as you managed to keep your big fat mouth shut, that is.” You snorted, snuggling in closer to your partner.

“You’re half right. I managed to pull this fucking amazing guy a while back, and I didn’t have to watch my mouth at all. In fact-” you pulled back to look Katsuki in the eyes, “As I recall, he said it was hot after I cursed him out for making fun of me for being scared of a cash register.”

He smirked back. Your eyes were puffy, there were tear tracks down your face, and snot ran down your nose, and he was certain it was all over his shirt now. You looked a total mess. But you were his mess, and he wouldn’t give you up for anything. He brushed a thumb under one of your eyes, wiping away a lingering tear.

“Dude must have some pretty shitty taste to still like you after that, huh?” Your laugh came out almost like a cough.

“Oh, the worst. He’s got these chihuahua pajama pants that he insists he didn’t want, just took them cause they were his size. As if he didn’t go behind my back and change the size so they could be his.”

“And you didn’t make fun of him? I’m impressed.”

“Oh, no. I made fun of him all the time, even before that. Gave him this stupid nickname but he didn’t even get mad about it once.”

“Bet he loved your stupid doodles.”

“Oh he did. Absolutely head over heels for those dumb things. Never critiqued me once, no matter how awful they were. I mean, seriously, they were just stick figures.”

“He sounds boring,” Katsuki said, leaning in so your noses brushed.

“Oh, god, he is awful. But I’m glad he’s in my life, even if I don’t tell him to his face as much as I probably should.”

“Yeah, well, just because you don’t say it to his face doesn’t mean he doesn’t know.” You leaned up to kiss him. It was slow, loving, the both of you just taking each other in again after so long apart.

“Good. I’d hate to have wasted so many cuddles on him for him to not get the message,” you said, snuggling back into Katsuki. He shifted so he was laying back with you on top of him. You stayed that way for a minute, listening to each other’s breathing.

“You wanna watch something?” he asked.

“Only if you want to,” you said, eyes closed as your head rested on his chest, listening to his heart.

“I do.”

“Then turn on something.”

“The remote’s on the other side of the table.”

“And?”

“And I can’t reach it with you laying on me.”

“Sucks.” Katsuki sighed in mock annoyance.

“Can I at least get a blanket?”

“No. I’m the blanket now.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“Fine, I’ll get the remote. But I still get to be the blanket.”

“Deal.”

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

If ur still accepting writing prompt, could I kindly request the relationship situation #18 for either the twins/partners and Velora?

I’m feeling siblings feels today for some reason, maybe I miss mine 😭🥰

Their sibling(s) need help

If Percy is honest with himself, he's never really liked kids all that much. He doesn't know how to talk to them or what to do with them. Somehow, Velora is the exception. Since she appeared in the twins' lives, she's become part of his life as well. He's walked her home from school a few times and looked after her when Vex got stuck at work late.

He knows that she vastly prefers Keyleth and Grog as babysitters which is why he's more than surprised when Velora appears at his door one night.

She's wearing her pajamas under and coat and her feet are shoved into boots. Velora's cheeks are wet with tears, eyes red and lip wobbling. Percy just stares at her for a long second, no idea what to do. Velora makes that decision for him by bursting into a sob and throwing her arms around his waist.

He stumbles back a step before putting one hand on the back of her head, "Uh, what's wrong?"

Velora pulls away and looks up at him with her big eyes, the same color as Vex's. She holds out her hand to him and he can see one of Vex's necklaces, the arrow pendant broken in half. Through hiccuping tears, Velora manages to tell him, "I-I didn't mean to I swear, I just thought it was so pretty-" She cuts herself off as she gasps for air. "Can you fix it?"

Despite himself, Percy smiles, "Of course I can, do you want to help me?"

She shakes her head quickly, "I don't want to mess it up more."

As he takes the broken necklace from her hands, she wraps her arms around her stomach. Percy wishes he knew what to do to make her less scared, Vex has told him about the trauma she went through with her father and how she's so scared of Vex and Vax abandoning her.

Percy puts a hand on Velora's shoulder and guides her into the apartment. The apartment that he shares with Keyleth (and sometimes Scanlan) isn't really furnished for a kid. Nearly every piece of furniture was found on the side of the road or given to them for free. Percy's tools lie strewn about the counter and tables. He sits her down in Keyleth's arm chair, tucking a blanket over her legs and handing her a box of tissues.

He sinks down onto the worn couch, moving aside Keyleth's textbooks and homework assignments to find the tools he needs buried under them.

It takes him a few minutes, but before long, the necklace is as good as new. When he hands it back to her, she throws her arms around him again and thanks him over and over again. Despite the fact that they live in the same building, Percy insists on taking Velora back to the twins' apartment himself. Vex says that she gets flighty when she's scared and the last thing he wants is her running away.

Velora hides behind Percy when he knocks on the door. Vex throws open the door, face a mask of panic, "Percy, have you seen Velora? She's not in her room-" Velora steps out from behind Percy then, cutting Vex off. "Oh darling," Vex hugs her little sister tight, stroking her hair as she says, "you have to tell us when you leave, I was worried sick."

"I'm sorry." Velora's voice is muffled against Vex's hair and shoulder. "I needed Percy to fix this for you." She shows Vex the necklace, eyes fixed firmly on her feet.

Vex chuckles and tucks Velora's hair behind her ear, "Thank you. Now go find Vax, okay? He was so worried about you." Velora nods and walks into the apartment, calling her older brother's name.

Vex rises back up and looks at Percy, "Thank you for looking after her."

"Of course," Percy says. "She's your family," he says as an explanation.

Vex kisses him then, one hand on his chest, "I love you so much right now." He laughs, letting her kiss him again. "I should go, see you tomorrow?"

Percy nods, "See you then. Tell Velora goodnight for me."

[redactahoe]

In celebration of the new guy audio here’s some honey and guy specific headcannons(tank is mentioned abunch though)

Tw:again hella unorganized, cussing, maybe some angst, mention of of abuse and neglect, fluff so fluffy it’ll rot your brain, i can’t spell or edit for shit

Srry for formatting issues, I’m writing this on mobile

Honey grew up in a shit home with tank as their older sibling and only care taker, their mother was incredibly sickly and wasn’t given proper medical care until honey, tank, and their dying mother ran away from Washington to daliha after somehow getting Gabe’s number and leaving a mysterious ass message to look out for a 14y/o(tank) and 9y/o with their half dead mom on sled in the middle of winter

Honey and tank grew up in a cult like environment with a small ‘settlement’ of people in the middle of bum fuck nowhere Washington, with honey and tank living the farthest in the woods. To far for them to talk to anyone other than each other and their parents

Honeys father was neglectful and possessive of their mother, so he would often hurt honey and tank(tank mostly) for taking their mothers attention away from their father

After they moved to daliha, instead of spending the holidays with the pack, they spent it in the hospital with their mama until she finally was able to leave when honey was 16 and tank was 19, but anyways this is how honey first met guy

Guys family (including himself)was and still is incredibly accident prone and got himself a trip the to the hospital cause his dad fell of the roof trying to put up Christmas lights, guy was bored in the waiting room while honey was two chairs away from him waiting for tank to fill out hospitals papers(idk wtf I’m talkin about) and guy decided there and then that they were the love of his life….. I’m kidding, they’re like 15 kinda

Guy struck a conversation with a reluctant honey but they end up hitting it off really well. Though all good things come to an end and honey had to go visit mama and thought that was the last time they would see that cute(tanker teases them endlessly for this one) guy….

That is until when school is back in session and they find out they have like 3 classes with him

Guy doesn’t find out why honey was at the hospital until years later and their pretty deep in their relationship that honey tells him

On less angsty note honey is a very large wolf shifter(slot like tank, it runs in the family apparently) with an affinity to healing magic

When guy is told/finds out about the whole magic thing he is elated at the idea that honey can get even cuddlier and give him magic boo boo kisses(they vehemently deny the notion)

When guy met the pack David,Milo,asher, and tank gave him the some shovel talk put in their own ways. Guy was scared shitless but honey ended up defending their lovable idiot

At said pack meeting guy and angel have a spider man meme moment and david and angel shared the same “oh god there’s two of them now”. Lovingly though

Guy know how to cook two things and two things exclusively, and that’s pizza (obviously) and box Mac n cheese but honey is the chef in the relationship.

Honey is mixed Romanian and spanish and use to spend a lot time in kitchen with mama and tank so honey knows how to cook

Honey works out a lot as an outlet for all the trauma and anger issues so their pretty beefy and guy fuckin loves it

Guy is almost always the little spoon but whenever honey is having a bad day or feels like it they’ll let him be the big spoon

Honey is secretly super cuddly but only with the people they trust

Guy is scrawny af

Guy can’t take much seriously but the first time honey had a bad day while they were just roommates, it was the first time guy got seriously with honey, he was so gentle though.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Rants under the read more

Nightmare blunt rotation: The cursed creation of like. 4 people on a niche fandom discord. Polycule consisting of pretty much every adult character in the series. It's awful and somehow the best thing ever. The potential for both crack and angst is unmatched. The divorced parents energy is OFF THE CHARTS. Marcia realizes she is a morosexual and has a crisis about it. Gringe confronts his prejudices by falling for a no-good wizard. Jillie Djinn is Marcia's ex and also dead and also GHOSTING ON HER COUCH which makes it very hard to bring her boyfriends over. Marcellus tries to be dramatic about the fleetingness of human life (except his) and gets made fun of until he confronts his trauma instead. Sarah and Mrs Gringe are having tea and getting a break from the drama.

Gorlois/Nimueh/Ygraine: I am pretty sure that I am litetally the only person invested in this ship.

2 and a half of these characters are dead before the show starts. The last dies within season one. One of them is never seen on screen, and they definitely do not interact.

But. They must have at least known each other, in the past. (the very vaguely defined only alluded to past).

Oh, and the "a half"?

Well. Buckle in.

This particular rarepair hell started because I realized that there are technically 4 characters in this show sharing the identity or name of one mythological character - and wouldn't it be so interesting if two of them (the Villain Nimueh and Morgana's mother Vivienne) turned out to be the same woman? So many interesting implications. So much canon to be reevaluated. This is how I started shipping Gorlois/Nimueh, and it could and should have ended there.

...except halfway through that process I got sad and invented a self-indulgent modern au instead. And since it's self-indulgent, I decided that Ygraine would divorce Uther. And since they were already neighbours, and parenting half-siblings, Ygraine and Nimueh became closer and closer in my mind, until I decided to let them kiss aboit it. After all, nothing makes you closer than bonding about being upset at the man who cheated on you/lied aout being in an open relationship. (except maybe the codependent co-parenting lavender marriage I envision for Ygraine and Gorlois.)

And now I even ship them in canon. I suffer alone.

[friendfromdsmp]

What would you think if an evilized villain(maybe a wishmaker-like villain or maybe even a villain that's unrelated to the butterfly miraculous) caused Chloe and Zoe to switch bodies somehow, and nobody fully understands what's going on, so Zoe(in Chloe's body) is taken by Audrey back to New York, despite Zoe desperately trying to explain things. But Chloe enters a fugue state(heavily due to trauma caused by the neglect of her parents) and genuinely thinks she's Zoe, and is even able to recall many of the things Zoe did due to being in Zoe's body. The class thinks "Zoe's" change in behavior is due to the psychological effects of method acting, since "Zoe" is playing Chloe in Astruc's new movie, but they gradually convince "Zoe" to let them help her relearn how to be "herself" again. Meanwhile, in New York, Zoe is trying to get back to Paris, but when she gets there, “Zoe” thinks she’s there to try to hurt Marinette.

Ooh my first ask!

Well that’s certainly a very specific scenario, and one that raises further concerns; firstly, why was the villain’s power not reversed?

That would mean that the akuma was never purified, at least not by Ladybug, if we’re to believe everything else is still completely normal. Or maybe Ladybug never knew about the akuma at all? Could they have served a purpose similar to Volpina in Heroes’ Day, where they were akumatised for a purpose outside of going after the Miraculous?

I’d imagine that Hawkmoth would have wanted to keep Chloé in Paris after learning she was leaving. And then he realised; he didn’t need Chloé, he just needed someone with the *mind* of Chloé. And so he found a target he would be able to make use of to swap the bodies of the two siblings. Zoé was an obvious host for Chloé’s mind, of course; it wouldn’t be *as* big of a shock for people to see Zoé acting the same way as Chloé used to after the pair effectively traded lives, especially when they could claim the loss of her sister and mother to be a ‘traumatic incident’. What? If those kids would believe Lila Rossi’s lies, they’ll believe that!

And at first, everyone *does* believe it; they try to support ‘Zoé’ at first, but quickly figure the best way to support her is to give her space after she snapped at them in a particularly Chloé-esque manner when they made the attempt. Sure, there were *jokes* about ‘hey, maybe they actually sent Zoé to New York and Chloé stole her life or something’ or similar humorous comments that were scarily close to hitting the mark. But ‘Zoé’ retained all her memories, and aside from the attitude shift she wasn’t acting too much out of the ordinary. Besides, most of the class could agree that, if Chloé were really in Zoé’s body, she wouldn’t settle for being considered her ‘half-of-a-sister’, as she’d always put it

Mylene is the one to craft up the first serious theory; that ‘Zoé’ was simply method acting as her sister in order to play a role. She explained that ‘Zoé’ had gotten a big role in a play the pair were involved in, and she was playing a stereotypical mean girl with a rich and doting father. “That must be it!” Mylene assured everyone. “I’m sure she’ll be just fine once the play ends! She’s been absolutely incredible in rehearsals; it’s like she just *becomes* her character, like she’s a goddess of self-confidence!”

And of course the class needs to show their support to their friend, so they all stop by to watch ‘Zoé’ rehearse. ‘Zoé’s’ performances in her scenes always stand out as her being completely and utterly in her element, able to dish out every line with an extra serving of self-righteousness and a haughty air. Even the minute movements that wouldn’t be visible to an audience from on the stage - the way she turned up her nose at her fellow cast, the way she side-eyed the other actors when they took over the spotlight, the way such malice could be seen burning behind those blue eyes so vividly that the class would have been convinced it were real if they hadn’t been aware they were watching an act - all of it was just so immersive and well-crafted and *perfect*!

“Zoé, that was amazing!”

“You’re really talented!”

“How did you get so good?”

The class was enthralled and couldn’t help but shower ‘Zoé’ with compliments and praise after rehearsals, which appeared to surprise the girl for a minute, but then she smirked and flipped her hair in a dramatic, smug manner

“Well of *course* I’m great and talented! I’m flawless, utterly flawless~!”

The class all laughed at this, finding her ‘Chloé impression’ to be spot on. “I’m so glad you could take those tough experiences with Chloé and put them towards something you love and are really good at!” Marinette grinned warmly at ‘Zoé’. “I’m so proud of you, Zoé! We all are!”

Now, of course, this wouldn’t normally be anything of note to Chloé. Perhaps Marinette’s sincerity would have surprised her, possibly even made her a little suspicious of her, but it wouldn’t have left any notable impact on Chloé. But the thing is, this wasn’t just Chloé; it was Chloé with Zoé’s memories. Memories of friendship and fun, of kindness and laughter and forgiveness

A genuine smile came to ‘Zoé’s’ face

“Thank you, Marinette. That means a lot coming from you.”

She still had a bit of a way to go before the Chloé personality had been softened by the Zoé memories, but it was the start of a monumental change for her, albeit the class simply saw it as their friend using her ‘method acting’ to keep prepared. The switches between kindness and corruption were viewed as her reactions to stress about the performance, and so they encouraged ‘Zoé’ on her good days and did their best to steer clear but offer gentle support on her bad days. And by the time the final performance was given, ‘Zoé’ was back to her normal self, completely charmed by her classmates and their kindness

And when ‘Chloé’ stopped by Paris for a visit during her summer break from her new school in New York, she was astonished to find that ‘Zoé’ was still just as beloved and accepted as ever. Not only that - she looked *happy*

Her first instinct was to storm over, but Marinette, who had been naturally on-guard the moment ‘Chloé’ had made her presence in the building known, stepped between the two sisters, as if forming a human shield for ‘Zoé’

“Marinette! I need to speak with my sister quickly.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Marinette glared at ‘Chloé’. “Not after all you’ve put her through! Not after all you’ve put *any* of us through! You can’t just walk back in and hurt anyone here ever again, Chloé!”

‘Chloé’ was hit hard by this, her face displaying her pain. She had been so looking forward to seeing her best friend and brief crush once again, after so long apart by such a cruel and unlikely turn of fate, and to see Marinette yelling at her, treating her like a threat, stung bitterly. She bit her lip, having to remind herself that she was in Chloé’s body. She’d gotten used to the fact by now, of course, but coming back here, the last place where anything had felt truly *right* to her, helped her to momentarily forget her troubles

But now, staring into Marinette’s hate-filled eyes, a look reserved for so few people, she could feel her heart shatter into two pieces

“Marinette…”

“What is it, Chloé? What do you want?”

‘Chloé’ found herself struggling to answer for a moment, the shock of the situation jumbling the words in her brain every time she attempted to settle them into a coherent order

“I… it’s nothing… I just… it’s nothing…”

Now Marinette’s expression softened a little, a touch of concern passing over her features. She had always been too altruistic and empathetic for her own good, and she assumed this was one of those times, but she couldn’t stop herself from worrying over this completely different side of ‘Chloé’

“Chloé, is… everything okay? You seem a lot… different… since we last saw you…”

Chloé could only chuckle humourlessly, shaking her head. There was the Marinette she knew. Kind and compassionate to everyone she met, even to those who probably didn’t deserve it, least of all from her. But unlike the real Chloé, she would never take advantage of such kindness

“You have no idea, Marinette… I’m… I’m not the person you all once knew. That’s not the person I am, and that’s not the person I want to be. I know Chlo- I know *I* have done some horrible - uh, utterly horrible! - things in the past, to all of you. And I’m *so* sorry for that. I know I don’t deserve your trust, or your forgiveness, but… I’d like the chance to prove that I mean what I say. If you’ll give me that chance, of course…”

It was the class’ turn to be shocked. ‘Chloé’ was *apologising* to them? It seemed out of the question! And yet here she was, in the flesh!

I’m sure we all know that the class are an incredibly forgiving group of people, even at times when their kindness may have been wasted on someone, and so of *course* they’re willing to give this new ‘Chloé’ a chance. And does she prove herself? Well, of course she does! This is Miraculous, after all, and with good intentions and the power of friendship comes success! (If you’re not Marinette, at least)

So now we have ‘Chloé’ and ‘Zoé’, who grow closer as time passes on. ‘Chloé’ is suspicious of ‘Zoé’ at first, but when she realised that her sister genuinely had no memories of her past self, and she truly wanted the best for others, she was quick to warm to this new sister. As for ‘Zoé’, she was looking upon ‘Chloé’ with Zoé’s memories, and was equally cautious and ready to put ‘Chloé’ in her place, if necessary. But as one warmed up to the other, the other sister reciprocated until all their suspicions and doubts were gone

‘Chloé’ was still vastly unpopular in Paris due to Chloé’s past, and as such she could only stay briefly over the summer break. She was dreading returning to New York. She’d been back with her old friends again at last, she finally had a sister who truly loved and cared for her, she was happy for the first time in a long time. She couldn’t possibly give that up to serve out Chloé’s sentence and not her own, could she? But how could she get out of it?

But the morning when she had to go leave for New York, she was shocked to discover a familiar pink streak in her hair, like an old friend welcoming her back home the moment her eyes fluttered open in response to the weak sunlight slipping through the crack in the curtains. And as she looked in the mirror, it was as though the sun had been shining out of her face with how much it brightened

She was herself again, after all this time

If you asked her how, she wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Perhaps the magic had worn off? Perhaps something happened to the akuma that caused this? Perhaps there was some test she and Chloé had fulfilled?

Her blue eyes widened

“Chloé…”

She rushed to Chloé’s room, knocking on the door frantically. “Chloé?! Chloé?!”

The door opened, and there Chloé stood, her own eyes wide with a similar realisation

“A-are you…?” Zoé could hardly bring herself to ask. “Are you… still the new you? Or… or the old you…?”

Chloé opened her mouth to speak, but at first no sound came out. She tried again, still in shock

“… I… I had *friends*… real friends…”

Zoé nodded slowly at this, trying to gauge where this was going. “Yeah, you did. You *do*. What… what do you remember…?”

“Everything. I remember *everything*.”

Chloé hesitated for a few moments, unable to meet Zoé’s eyes

“I, um… guess I’ll be the one going to New York now, then…”

“… You’ll… be able to make friend there,” Zoé assured gently. “I couldn’t; I don’t quite fit in there. But you… you have so much more in common with them than I do. It’s not a good school for me, but I think you’ll get along better than I ever could there. And if you ever need any help with adjusting, you know I’m only a phone call away. Always.”

Chloé remained silent for a long moment, contemplating her next words

“… Okay… thanks…”

The door closed, and Zoé couldn’t help but smile slightly. She was back in her own body, she was free of that horrid school, and maybe, just maybe, her relationship with her sister could be made all the better from this event?

They may not be far along now, but they were at least polite and civil, and that was certainly a grand start

[theinnerworkingsofthenerdgirl]

Hey so,, someone on the clock app commented a headcanon about Mia, Maya, Miles, and Gregory being Filipino and that they were related which,, I thought would be so interesting. So initially I think they said Gregory was their dad, making them half-siblings (the comment is gone now unfortunately) which I thought was very cool! But I’ve just got around to thinking about it again and that doesn’t make sense for Gregory to have a child with Misty (Mia), have Miles with another woman, go back to Misty to have Maya, and then return to raise Miles?? No that’s weird, especially for Gregory. SO. They’re just full siblings!! This is it guys!! The Fey-Edgeworth family!! So Gregory and Misty meet, marry, and have Mia and later Miles. Now. The Fey clan seems to be very matriarchal while somehow also very old-fashioned, so as well as Morgan obviously despising Gregory (she just would I don’t think I need to explain), maybe Kurain village wouldn’t have the same opportunities for boys as they would for girls who would eventually channel their powers and assume all the leadership roles. And so, Gregory and Misty, knowing this and wanting their son to get a proper education, agreed that Gregory and Miles would go to live in the city during the school year. Few years later, Maya is born but then BAM !! Y’know. DL-6. The timeline roughly fits so that Maya would only be a baby at the time, WHICH would explain why Maya doesn’t remember Miles and because Miles was also relatively young at the time, coupled with the fact the family would only spend school breaks all together and also his trauma, wouldn’t remember Mia very well either. Obviously, Mia and Maya are taken in by Morgan and Miles is taken in by Manfred, and because Misty goes missing at this time and Morgan’s hatred of Gregory and Miles anyway, the family is split up. Mia is old enough to remember Miles as her brother but too young to do anything about it and so years later when she encounters him again, she wants to reconnect with him (OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED this might give Mia the exact same reason as Phoenix to become a lawyer, oh god the pain). Obviously again, Miles becomes the way he does under the tutelage of von Karma, and claims to have no memory or connection to Mia (and in truth it is probably quite a fair one anyway). Mia gives up because she can’t get through to him and makes the decision not to tell Maya about their relationship, as she doesn’t want her baby sister to know someone like that or try to connect with him and go through the same heartbreak she did.

I’m not sure if it would be better for them to somehow discover this later on down the line or have a Thalassa situation where no one ever seems to find out but anyway.

Now, while this is a very nice way to tie everything in together and answer a few parentage queries, I don’t know how well this would actually fit into the story of Ace Attorney itself. And honestly these characters’ backstories are tragic enough without all this as well

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕💕💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

[hollyhomburg]

Reasons Wretched and Divine (Pt. 6) (Yoonminjoon x Reader)

Genre: hybrid au, polyamory au, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Pregnancy, Mafia au

Parings: Snake hybrid! Yoongi x Dog hybrid! Jimin x Dog hybrid! Namjoon x Pregnant! Reader, Platonic Vmin, allusions to 2seok,

Summary: After years of abuse, you’ve all finally found each other. But for one of you- the fear still lingers, hidden in the shadows. Yoongi doesn't want much, just a few more weeks, but he only has until the end of the summer. 

Tags: Hurt/comfort, physical abuse, polyamory negotiations, Post-traumatic stress disorder, low self-worth, bonding over trauma, themes of healing, mute characters, scent-marking, brief gore, themes of deception, complex characters 

W/c: 10.6k

Song Rec: Hozier ~ Eden

Series Masterlist 

An informative bulletin on Hybrid sense of Smell:

Out of all of the positives that hybrids inherit from their animal dna- their sense of smell is simply unparalleled. It’s one of the more peculiar and therefore interesting subsets of hybrid behavior. Hybrid sense of smell is just like any of the other senses though, in terms of the amount of sensory information contained, it is more on par with sight than the fragile human nose. It is possible that the vast majority of hybrid to hybrid communication is completely pheromonal. most scent glands are found on the wrists and neck.  

When an owner or human initially comes into contact with a hybrid, the flush of new sensory information will be hard to parse out for most hybrids (and all but those with the most sensitive smell). At first, a hybrid will only be able to sense if you are feeling “good” or “bad” the same way we can often only tell when food smells good or bad. 

But as time goes on, and hybrids become more accustomed to the particular hormonal balance of their humans they become more adept at deciphering their emotional state through their scent. Eventually, a person smelling simply ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ becomes “amused” and “contemplative” or any other host of emotions.  This is one of the reasons why hybrids make intense emotional partners, as hybrids become accustomed to their owners or pack mates and they become extremely attuned. Some hybrids are even able to smell their female owner's ovulation cycle and if they’re pregnant before the owner themselves. 

Scent is one of the most highly individualized parts of hybrid society, with no two hybrids smelling exactly the same (some exceptions can be made for close siblings and twins) scent-marking behavior is something commonly seen only between hybrids and their owners, as well as between hybrids in the same pack. As scent-marking leaves sort of an imprint of hybrid's emotional state on their partner. It is also a nonverbal queue for other hybrids “this person makes me very happy- please be kind to them for me” or “this is my human, please stay away” a negative impression will also be left on a human if they cause a hybrid distress.

Of course, certain species hybrids are more adept at this kind of empathy than others, with rabbit hybrids having the most sensitive sense of smell and therefore pungent scents, and most exotic hybrids including bird hybrids and snake hybrids, having a less sensitive nose and more mild scents which are harder to discern.

Many other tidbits of information can be conveyed through scents, weather a possible partner will be compatible for a heat/rut cycle, if they are upset and if they are injured or hurt, and their emotional state. There is even some debate that deception can be gleaned through scent (but that claim will need further research).

~~~~

- You wake with a start, started into wakefulness by a piercing shriek and then shouting. Out of all of the times you’ve suddenly woken out of a dead sleep this is by far the least violent. There isn’t anyone in your room but you, the covers overly warm, golden early morning light seeping through the windows, peaceful and idyllic. 

- it isn’t one of the times that your late husband had dragged you out of the bed, kicking and screaming because he’d found something on your phone, a strange charge on your credit card, or woken to the feel of him above you, or woken to his screaming at Namjoon. 

- You tell yourself that it’s just any other day, that this morning isn’t one of those. but your heart dosent understands that. thundering, your hands shaking. 

- The days when you wake up slowly in Namjoon’s arms- those are the best mornings. But Namjoon isn’t next to you- and somehow your heart won’t start shuddering. Namjoon isn’t here and you want him there and your mind somewhere else entirely as you shakily exit your bedroom, tying your robe around you deftly. 

- One benefit of living in an old house is that you can hear nearly everything that goes on, and you can hear Jimin's words below you “Yoongi- don’t look” 

- Sometimes- you still have days where you hate your bedroom. Days where you won’t cross over the threshold with Namjoon already there, his every presence comforting to you- willing away any bad thought that might arise, any trigger or memory. You’d painted the walls a different color- the dark green changed to a light pastel blue- but some of the memories still linger even though it looks different and far warmer than it did when it was your husband's old bedroom.

- Most of the positive change has to do with Namjoon’s presence, the countless pillows that he likes to sleep with, the fluffy throws, his organized but slightly wry shirts in your open closet, his small stack of parenting books by your dresser. It might be the same room you were hurt in, but it feels different most of the time, especially when you’ve got namjoon all stretched out in your bed, All of the peace you have starts and ends with Namjoon.

- But maybe that’s changing, maybe you find a certain calm in Yoongi and Jimin too. Jimin is the first one you see, sending you a panicked glance as Namjoon cleans his face of blood, trying to stand in front of Yoongi for whatever reason the snake hybrid looking a little paler than usual.

- You stumble to the bottom of the stairs in your thick fluffy robe, some of your hair sticking up at the back. You take one good look at the snake, rub your eyes a bit, and then turn to the cat hybrid sprawled in the grass. Your eyes are steely, unflinching as you help her up, ask if she’s okay. All the while, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin blink back the sleep from their eyes, not knowing what to do about the snake, hanging flayed open on your front door.  

- You take one long look at the snake too. All of you silent for a moment before you jump into action. “We’ll get this cleaned up before you get back with the others, wake Taehyung too if you wouldn’t mind? Tell him I’m calling a meeting before breakfast to make sure no one slips away for chores.”

- That Jimin understands, Many a time had he seen the younger and teenaged hybrids leave the table the second their plates where finished. Though he has to admit- this feels less like a prank gone wrong and more like I direct threat with the way Yoongi is blinking behind Namjoon, the other hybrid talking to him in his low voice. Hands out like they might touch him, Namjoon’s tail hanging low between his legs.

- You’re just about to turn away when Jimin grabs your arm. “There’s something you should know,” he’s quick to explain what happened last night, who kicked him out of his bed and the reason why he’d been asleep on your couch. Your mouth turns down the more he talks. “Bring Minhyung too okay? Are you okay lovely?” you keep Jimin’s hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

- The cat smooth’s out a wrinkle in her skirt and clears her butt of any dirt that might have gotten on it when she’d fallen backward, her tail flicks agitatedly “I’m okay miss, it just gave me a fright.”

- “I can’t imagine how none of us heard anything,” Namjoon says- finishing cleaning the blood from his face, thanking Yoongi for the towel. He looks a little shaken but mostly all right. “I know” Jimin agrees- “it was barely 10 feet from me and I didn’t hear it.” You grimace, still looking at the door and the snake, Namjoon finished wiping the blood off his face and you gesture for the rag.

- Jimin steps up “I’ll do it- you don’t have too” surprisingly the nail isn’t that deeply driven into the wood once Jimin gets over his initial squeamishness over handling the dead animal. Namjoon heads off as soon after Jimin gets it free to bury it in the garden. Still in his pajamas. You usher Yoongi upstairs while Jimin cleans the door of blood.

- You’ve been in Yoongi’s room a handful of times (when it was just your husband's house it used to be an office) but the dark blue walls fit Yoongi better now. His queen mattress pushed in the corner, an old ladder that Yoongi had repurposed hanging with half a dozen thick blankets and fluffy duvets, assorted space heaters and fans sitting on the desk pushed up against the foot of his bed. It’s cozy mostly- the curtains all drawn so the room feels more like a den or a cave. Dark- but warm and comforting, it feels safe even. 

- Now that Yoongi’s away from the others it looks like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, raking his fingers through his hair and twitching a little, He can’t relax or standstill. You set a cup of coffee for him on his bedside table and linger. Unsure if you don’t want to leave him alone or if he wants to be to regroup for a second. “Yoongi” he turns and looks at you, and sometimes- like this time. It almost seems like Yoongi wants to say something to you- but just- can’t get the words out.

- You wonder more than you’d care to admit- if his muteness is selective or something physical. Namjoon wonders too, what his voice sounds like if his laugh is more of a giggle like Jimin’s or something crackling like Nam Joon.  “Do you-“ a little noise stops you, Yoongi’s hands clench and unclench by his side.

-  You reach out a hand unthinking, stopping a second before you actually cup his cheek. You and Yoongi are no stranger to almost touches, especially on his good days. Many times you’ve felt the almost brush of his hand on your lower back when you stand, sometimes you actually do feel it. 

-  You were no stranger to slight touches either, always in the secluded privacy of your garden or the house when it’s late and the curtains are drawn. In front of namjoon too. You’d linked pinky’s more than once over a bed of flowers when you were taking a break. as he fed you a sweet strawberry or green beans from the garden. The pad of his finger lingering on your lower lip for just a second too long to not be intentional.

- But never had you initiated the touch, not like this. Your hand cups his cheek and Yoongi leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. The bags under his eyes are almost black-purple. The scales under his chin feel cool under your fingers, only slightly smoother and cooler than the rest of his skin. 

- You’d asked Namjoon about it, pacing in your room after one day when you’d seen Namjoon watch you and Yoongi with a strange look on his face. You didn’t want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. At the end of the day, it will always be Namjoon. You won’t leave him or hurt him- not ever if you can help it. Thought at the beginning, you feared you could hurt him by accident with Yoongi. 

- It was back when your baby bump had barely been visible- not like now when even your baggiest dresses barely conceal your bump. Nothing but a strategically placed pillow concealing Namjoon’s nakedness as he laid back in your bed late at night. Namjoon scrolling through his phone (new, a gift from you. though it will only last about a week until he decideds to try and ‘wash’ off the dirt that got on it and compeltly ruin it)

- You’d had minor disagreements over other hybrids in the past. Namjoon was mostly okay with you giving out pets like they’re one-dollar bills at the strip club. And was equally as nonplussed when some of the younger hybrids that don’t know any better cuddled close enough to you that you ended up smelling like them. But there had been one incident where one of the older canine hybrids had mistakenly scent marked you.

- Namjoon had been a little angry growling at you the second he’d smelled the fox’s scent on you and demanding you shower. Rightfully upset, he’d explained that that was practically a claiming mark. He’d been touchy and a little bit grumpy the rest of the week, an arm thrown around your waist whenever the other hybrid was around.  

- But Yoongi Doesn’t seem to upset him in the same way. “I don’t get what you’re so worried about- it’s fine- it’s not like he’s not part of our pack or a stranger.”

- You’d stopped where you’d been pacing a hole in your carpet. “What do you mean- apart of the same pack?” Namjoon sighed, tossing his phone to the side (he doesn’t quite understand that he needs to be gentle with it yet). “it’s like- it’s not the same as if it was a random farmer across the street- because it’s Yoongi and he’s one of us, it doesn’t make me feel possessive because he’s mine too you know?”

- They had been getting close recently, there aren’t many hybrids at the farm yet, and Yoongi, Taehyung, and Seokjin are the only ones who’ve stayed any length of time you’d consider significant. You’d woken alone late at night a few times in the last week and gone down to the living room lower level only to find Namjoon and Yoongi asleep on opposite ends of the couch.

- “But he’s not a canine hybrid Joonie? Don’t you only form pack bonds with other dog hybrids?” Namjoon shaking his head, ears flapping a little, “not at all, though it is rarer- and Yoongi won’t exactly feel it the same way I do, he’s still apart of this too.”

- It hits you like a truck, “you mean- you love him too?”

- You’d been meaning to ask Namjoon- if the pack bonds now extended to Jimin too, you had a feeling they did but it was probably better to ask…before anything more significant happens.

- You know that Yoongi is okay with touch as long as it’s not skin on skin and if he can control it. But you can’t not offer the affection now- not when you think it might help- not when Yoongi looks like he’s about ready to jump out of his skin with how afraid he is.

- You can tell his whole body is shivering but he doesn’t move to pull away when you lift up your other hand to slowly cup his cheek. He doesn’t move away when you get up on your tippy-toes to press your lips to his forehead. He smells soft and sweet like freshly done laundry. His hands come up too, loosely settling around your waist like he’s not sure he wants to pull you in for a hug yet.

- “We’ll get to the bottom of this yoongi, I promise” you give him one shorter squeeze and then separate. And Yoongi looks like he wants to keep holding you and also like he doesn’t. So you figure it’s best. You hover in the doorway, “take your time coming down today okay? We’ll have the meeting and then we can have breakfast up here if you’re not feeling up to being around the others today.”

- Your front door is clean, the light blue wood spotless when you come down the stairs, and By that time the cat hybrids have already returned to the kitchen. after changing into a loose knee-length dress, spotted with little flowers. It’s too hot for anything-tight today- but with your growing bump- everything feels tight. You’re only a few weeks away from the end of your second trimester, and you’re thankful that so far- you haven’t felt much morning sickness. You think you have a doctor’s visit later this week though- you’ll have to ask namjoon, he’s better at remembering that sort of thing than you are.

- One hybrid comes through the backdoor with a clutch of eggs from the chicken coop, the egg basket piled high, Jimin is with them too- holding a few eggs in his shirt- held out tight to make a basket, the cat hybrid smiles at you, “got almost 3 dozen today miss!”

- “Perfect for the frittata?” Jimin asks, unsure. “Quiche.” you and the cat hybrid correct at the same time. The three of you filing into the kitchen, Jimin careful not to break the eggs.

- A certain sleepy wolf hybrid is already sitting at your prep table, looking nervous, his scent souring when he sees you and Jimin. Jimin stays, this time crossing his arms and leaning up against the cabinets to watch Minhyung squirm. You sit down at the prep table across from him and pour him a cup of tea.

- He looks worried- sending a glance back and forth to Jimin and then to you. He knows what he did last night was wrong- and though Jimin can’t see any snake’s blood underneath his fingernails, the suspicion and dislike of the wolf hybrid still linger.

- But he doesn’t look like he’s trying to conceal anything. He just looks scared, eyes flicking from hybrid to hybrid, to the door and then the window and anywhere but at you and Jimin. Before the conversation’s even started, Jimin’s suspicion dissipates. While he agrees that Minhyung may be a dick, Jimin can’t believe that a hybrid would do this- they all know what discrimination feels like. Which is what makes their distaste of Yoongi particularly abhorrent.  

- “I hear you have a certain problem with how I treat Yoongi, Minhyung. Would you like to elaborate? Or maybe explain why you kicked Jimin out of the bunk room last night? Or why you left a snake nailed to my front door-“

- “What?! I didn’t- I promise that wasn’t me,” Minhyung is smart- he understands what the commotion this morning was about. By now Taehyung must have woken everyone up- must have already told everyone about the meeting. Jimin doesn’t know if they’ve ever had one before, but judging by the general tense atmosphere in the kitchen alone- it must not be a regular occurrence.

- “I’m sorry,” he says, turning to Jimin, “I honestly thought you would be sleeping up here. I don’t sleep well and when you woke me up- I reacted badly.  I promise I’ll be kinder- just don’t- please don’t throw me out.”

- “It’s not up to me,” Jimin says, his voice small, he gives you a look- that he hopes you interpret as ‘it’s up to you- I’m done with this’ and leaves the room. Only to find Yoongi hovering just outside, hidden behind the wall listening in.

- Jimin hears you and Minhyung starting up the conversation again, mostly it's him speaking this time- talking about his old owner who used sleep deprivation as a tactic to make him obedient. You don’t say much, just listen sipping at your tea. Yoongi lifts a finger to his lips and hands Jimin a carefully folded piece of paper. “I don’t think it was him.” By now Jimin is used to the way Yoongi sometimes converses on paper when he needs to communicate.

- “Do you know who it was then?” Jimin whispers, Yoongi shakes his head, but there is something about the tilt of his eyes that Jimin can’t find it in him to trust. But if there is a reason that Yoongi has for lying to him- then Jimin will trust it’s a good reason.

- He goes back into the kitchen, summoning you; you stand and walk to the door so that you won’t be overheard. Teetering a little bit, you look a little shaky too like you aren’t quite awake. Maybe that’s it- or is there something else? A shakiness behind your eyes too? Jimin can’t decipher it. Minhyung stays there, sitting looking contrite and like he’s close to tears. Fiddling with his hands under the table.  

- “What are you going to do?” Jimin asks, Yoongi waiting too, his note crumpled in his fist. Namjoon comes thundering down the stairs in his work boots, looking intimidating as ever in all black. He must have snuck upstairs to change after he buried the snake in your garden. “I don’t know,” you say easily, crossing your arms over your baby bump, looking at Namjoon and sighing before you meet Jimin and Yoongi’s eyes. “Do you think he did it Yoongi?”

- Yoongi shakes his head, pursing his lips and Jimin decides that damn- he’s either a convincing liar or what he noticed earlier was just something else. Maybe Yoongi feeling uncomfortable. The buttons on his usual linen button-down aren’t buttoned right and his hair doesn’t have that usual perfectly swept out of his face look. Jimin is the only one still in his pajamas (which actually belongs to Yoongi) but he’ll try to change during the meeting.

- “If I throw him out there is a chance I could be punishing someone innocent, and if I let him stay there is a chance he could be guilty” Namjoon sits across the armrest of the old couch. “You’ve never thrown out someone before,” he says, bending down to tie his work boots.

- “No,” you say, eyes sharp on Namjoon, “but I’ve let you do it.”

- Namjoon freezes, standing up looking contrite, “I didn’t know you knew about that” Yoongi sends Jimin a panicked look; worried they’re about to witness some sort of fight between the two of you.  But you just raise an eyebrow at Namjoon looking more tired than annoyed. “I’m not angry, but this should always be a joint decision,” you fiddle with Namjoon’s sleeve, tenderly smoothing over the edge of it. “So it’s settled then?”

- “This isn’t only our home anymore” you peer into the kitchen, keeping part of your body hidden by the wall. Minhyung still sits hands underneath his thighs, his head snaps up, black ears still buried in his hair. “You can stay, I trust you know that if anything else happens…” you trail off, he scrambles up from the prep-table. “Well, I trust you’ll have more sense than that.”

- He scrambles up from the prep-table. Minhyung almost breaks his back bowing to you, promising that he won’t do anything, that he’ll be the perfect hybrid again and again before he’s off down the hill- back to change out of his pajamas.

- It’s a humid day out and it isn’t even sunny, the moisture in the air oppressive. The hybrids are sleepy- hair and ears ruffled from sleep, some of them in work clothes and some of them still in their pajamas.

- Jimin sees one of the little ones make grabby arms at Seokjin (who looks clean pressed as ever) and the alpaca hybrid heaves the young one up into his arms, where it promptly closes its eyes and leans on his wide shoulder- the perfect place for a nap. Seokjin blushes when the new hybrid from a few weeks back, the otter Hoseok, comes over to coo at the little doe hybrid. His hands smoothing up and down her spine.

- Someone gets you a step stool and though Namjoon makes a face- he lets you use it to climb up onto a table. His hands anxiously hovering around your waist to make sure you won’t fall, he whines. But you ignore his instincts to be overprotective. Jimin can see the tension in Namjoon’s arms- he seems so worried that you’re going to fall- it’s almost cute.

- “This morning, a snake was nailed to my front door.” This is greeted by a few murmurs, nervous glances, and internal cringes. You hold up a hand, and the gathered hybrids all fall silent again. “You should all understand what safety means for a hybrid, and the fact that you would make one of your own feel unsafe and unwelcome- it hurts me. Because I obviously haven’t done a good enough job of taking care of you if you’re lashing out at one of your own. Yoongi is not to blame for your hurt.”  

- Jimin is impressed by the way that you command their attention, The surrounding hybrids look scared; some look contrite, but most just look uncomfortable at being called out. They all know that Yoongi staying up in the main house and not in the barns isn’t a result of favoritism, but a necessity because of his inability to regulate his own body temperature. And even if you were playing favorites- it’s not like you don’t do the same with Namjoon?

- “If anyone has any complaints or is upset by the way I treat any one of you- you should come to me and talk about it. Not take it out on each other or my front door for that matter.” that gets a few chuckles out of the crowd. And it’s mostly the cat hybrids that have left the dishes in the kitchen to simmer rather than miss your announcement.

- After the meeting and breakfast, the four of you linger in the lower level of your house. The cleanup crew already blasting country music in your kitchen, and Jimin can see every twang of the country music irritates Yoongi and Namjoon

- Namjoon even making a small noise and rubbing his ears. You sigh, straightening out your dress on the bottom step, your hands shake a little. And you’re not the only one, Yoongi sits, his shoulders hunched. It only takes one glance up at them all for you to stop. Setting your sun hat back on the hook.

- “You know what- fuck this. We need to get out of here today.”

- All of you piling into your beat-up red truck, the same one Jimin had come to the farm in. Namjoon runs back in at the last moment to grab your purse. Yoongi and Jimin in the back two seats, a little cramped. Namjoon gets the front on account of his long legs. None of you talk about a destination as you make a three-point turn rather than try and back out of your near mile-long driveway.

- Not one hybrid lounging in the fields or moving about had given them so much as a look when you’d drove down the long hill. Pausing at the end only because Taehyung was nearby, the hybrid calling to you and trotting over to lean at your car door, his smile as happy as ever. Bear ears flickering in the holes cut out of his baseball cap.

- “Want to come with?” you offer, but Taehyung just shakes his head, “Nah my queen needs me” he tilts his head back in the direction of the bee hutches. is it Jimin’s imagination, or do you look a little crestfallen? “Need anything?” you’d proffered. He’s so tall he has to slouch to be at face level with you. Taehyung doesn't ask where you’re going, only looks as Yoongi leans over the front seat to fiddle with the radio, as if judging how affected the snake hybrid is by what transpired this morning. he flicks from channel to channel trying to find a song he likes. “Nothing really, maybe some more jars for honey if you can find them?”

- You nod softly “that I can do.” Taehyung steps back and waves as you pull out of the gates of the farm. And Jimin feels anticipation build underneath his skin. He’d rarely ever been outside of his old home before and now- now he was leaving the farm too- the destination uncertain.

- “Please don’t speed,” Namjoon says, Yoongi leans back from the radio, finally settled on some song with a low thread beat, more musical than anything else. The snake seems to vibrate with the force of the music and between that, the sound of the engine, and the wind whipping through the open windows, Namjoon has to shout to be heard. The wind tickles, but it’s the only relief from the muggy June heat since your air-conditioning is busted.

- You smile at him lightly; at 10am on the dusty dirt road there isn’t a sing soul with you on the road. You gun it. Namjoon grips the handle on the roof looking green, but when jimin looks over and sees you and Yoongi smiling at Namjoon’s queasy ness- his anxiety dissipates. It doesn’t matter that your truck is rusty and that you’re barely going over 40 in a 35- to Namjoon, one mile over the speed limit is breaking the law. 

- You stop at the drive-through before you get on the highway, iced coffee for Yoongi, blended lemonade for Jimin, a hot chocolate for Namjoon (a travesty when it’s this hot) and an iced tea for you. The yellow lemons in your tea Jiggling with the ice as you hit potholes with little care for your truck. Yoongi leaning over periodically to change the song. Namjoon telling Jimin what genre is playing when he confesses he doesn’t know one, “is it jazz or ska?” Yoongi holds up two fingers- indicating the second choice, Namjoon nods. 

- You look over your shoulder- sharing a special secret glance with jimin, rolling your eyes a little. Now he understands why you rarely ever play music when you work- if you did yoongi would get up to change the music every few seconds. 

- “So where are we going?” you tap your fingers against the steering wheel, waiting to turn south onto the highway. “Probably not the beach, but maybe the State park? What do you think Joonie?”

- “I wouldn’t mind the state park, it’s got a pretty view” Jimin tries not to let his Disappointment show, especially when Namjoon turns to Jimin, sensing the whine that died in his throat. Yoongi nudges Jimin's foot with his own. The light turns green and you start to turn onto the highway. “I’ve never seen the ocean.”

- “What!?” you and Namjoon shout in tandem, you lurch to a dead stop, suddenly turning, around instead of just turning left. Yoongi turning to jimin mouth open.  “Yeah- I’d never- I’d only been outside of like one block before coming to you?” Yoongi shakes his head as you get going the opposite way on the highway- getting into the slow lane because your truck just can’t handle going over 60 no matter how much you want it to be able to do that. “You don’t have to” Jimin tries to say; you smile when you glance over your shoulder at him. “I’m already on the highway Jimin.”

- Jimin pretends it doesn’t make his heart hurt a little bit to see you change so easily for him, the truck thudding along. Yoongi holding out the last half of his ice coffee for Jimin to try, smiling when he makes a face at the bitterness. You hold out your ice tea too, trading it for a sip of Jimin’s frozen lemonade. Namjoon offering him, but you being a little snarky, “sorry babe but I don’t think anyone but you want a hot chocolate in the middle of June.”

- Namjoon turns his full lanky body in your direction, thighs bulging out on the pleather, tipping his back and out of the window. “It just makes me unique,” you swallow, and jimin sees how viscerally you’re affected by the long line of him stretched out in the front seat of your car.

- Yoongi’s writes something on his notepad and handing it over to Jimin. “Yoongi wants you to know that you’re as unique as a dog sticking his head out the window of a car.” Namjoon scoffs, you laugh, Namjoon’s smirk as he looks at Yoongi is shy, and Jimin knows how that feels- the pride you feel at being known enough to be teased. “At least I know the difference between Ska and jazz now, that has to count something for uniqueness.”

- Jimin scoffs, “you gonna keep an imaginary tally or something?” Namjoon flicks his ears in Jimin’s direction, grinning, happy to be teased. “Yes- we can keep track, start being really weird like cutting our shirts into crop tops and painting them and shit,” 

- “Oh please do that,” you say, and it’s a surprisingly attractive offer. Jimin has seen Namjoon’s stomach, all hard lines, and juicy skin when it pulls up or when it gets really hot and he takes off his shirt. And he can’t say he disagrees and judging by the high blush on Yoongi’s cheeks, he dosent either. All of you laugh with the way that Namjoon blushes and grumbles and fiddles with the edge of his shirt. The puppy is just too easy to tease. 

- After some prodding, Jimin is tempted to lean his head out of the window too, and when he does he has to admit- looking down the narrow stretch of highway, eyes watering, his ears getting battered like hell because of the wind.  It is worth it, his sensitive nose catching bits of something that smells like salt and fish the closer you get.

- Even Yoongi is tempted to do the same, though he might not get the same amount of joy the dog hybrids get from sticking their heads out the window. The wind sending his hair all windswept against his forehead. Curling because of the humidity. 

- Yoongi’s tongue sticks out a little, as a snake hybrid his sense of smell isn’t nearly as good as Namjoon and Jimin’s, but it’s better when he can taste the air, the saltiness thicker the closer you get to the coast. Namjoon and Jimin’s tails wag out a rhythm on the seats.

- The beach is absolutely beautiful, the waves rolling and curling light blue but stormy the further out you go, Namjoon leaves his workboots in your truck and Jimin gets his knees and shorts all dirty in the sea spray, Yoongi declining to join in the water, writes that the salt makes his scales feel sticky and sits in the sand with your and Jimin’s shoes. Content to lean back and watch.

- Namjoon holding your hand to keep you steady as you dip your feet into the spray, your dress wiping in the wind. Jimin going crazy with excitement for a moment before he kicks at the spray and chases a few seagulls. None of you brought your swimsuits but Jimin dunks his full body once you gesture for him to take off his shirt so it won't get wet. You and Namjoon seem to have enough fun just dipping your feet in the cold water- but Jimin can’t get enough of the ocean now that he’s seen it. The way the waves curl, the thunder, the sharpness of salt on his tongue.

- He gets to knee height, and then to stomach height, the water is cold and a little unpleasant, but it’s worth it for the way the small waves ripple around him. Looking down at his body in the sea spray Jimin realizes- he doesn’t have a single bruise left on his body. It’s been some time since he came to stay at the farm and besides a few scars and aches, he doesn’t have a single mark on his body from what happened to him.

- The marks that lie underneath his skin- on Jimin’s soul could never go away as easily as that- but for a moment, he lets himself believe that the water could wash away even the wounds unseen. The last few weeks have taught Jimin that it’s not that easy, but if grief is the cousin of healing then Jimin will let himself feel sad about this if it means he can hope that one day he’ll barely feel broken.

- When he submerges his body and feels the drag of the ocean out to see, he lets himself imagine that the ocean is taking something from him and dragging it to a deep place where it can weigh on him anymore. And maybe when he gets his head above water- he feels a tiny infinitesimal bit better. but only time will tell if it actually makes it better. Jimin is on his way to healing and he knows he only needs time. 

- When he gets back out, he almost stumbles in the surf and looks back at the beach, where the three of you are waiting for him. The three of you watch him separate himself from the waves. Your eyes going up and down his chest. Yoongi looking away after a moment. Writing on his pad of paper and scribbling it out angrily after a moment. Handing it over to Jimin

- “Feel better?” “Yeah- it’s” he shakes his body, ears flopping and sticking to his wet hair, the seawater beading in the sand. “It's nice in there. You should go in” “next time,” Yoongi writes. “You look a lot better Jiminie,” Namjoon says, handing over his flannel so that Jimin can use it to dry off. “What do you mean?” you stand to poke playfully at Jimin’s little poochy tummy, “you’ve gained a lot of weight you look healthy, I love it. ”

- He feels the fire in his cheeks, your words making his heart stutter. “Just one second” he turns away and hides his blush in Namjoon’s flannel, a high-pitched and very loud whine building in his chest or something like the need to scream swallowed by his throat because- ah fuck. He’s feeling something he shouldn’t be, isn’t he? But he must make some noise because you’re all laughing, Yoongi’s shoulders shaking as he hides his smile behind his hand.

- Before he’s turning back and handing it back to Namjoon face redder than a tomato. The other hybrid doesn’t say a thing about how it’s soaked in both water and Jimin’s scent, he Just ties it around his waist like Jimin’s scent clinging to him is the most natural thing in the world.

- You go back to the car so Namjoon can get his shoes, you talk about heading back but Yoongi isn’t ready to leave, wants to stay a little bit longer. You walk along the boardwalk; you buy some fried food that the three of you snack on, cyclone potatoes, and fried clams. Yoongi crunches into them happily, his cute little fang curling around his lip.

- Eventually, the boardwalk turns from games and restaurants into a small flea market, kitschy decorations, an overpriced Pepsi sign from the 1950s, a table made out of a glass coffin, curling horns mounted from some sort of creature. You mill about when your phone rings, shrill. “Hey Tae, what’s wrong?” you fiddle with a glass wall hanging; the stained glass fashioned to look like a cherry. Prattling onto Taehyung over the phone as Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin look through the tables of knickknacks.

- Yoongi eyes a silk dress shirt- Kind of garishly patterned. As behind them, a little girl points in their direction. There aren’t many other hybrids out on the boardwalk today, so Namjoon smiles at her, his scarred lip always moves a little less than the rest of his face, and the little girl’s mother pulls her closer and moves on quickly. Namjoon’s smile falls crestfallen.

- But as quick as the disquiet comes Yoongi is making him laugh by showing him a figurine- a piggybank that looks like a butt, the crack a hole for a coin. And the moment is forgotten. Most of the time- Jimin forgets what Namjoon must look like to the others, the scars that stretch, one from his jaw to halfway up to his cheek, another across and eye, and the newer one- from his chin to his lip.

- Jimin spies a weird metal holder, a sun on the front, mostly rusty, weird holes and test tubes set up so that they can stand in the holes. The man who runs the stand comes over to him.  He’s not unkind to them, seems to be something of an outcast himself with his tattoos and gauged piercings. He greets jimin with a wide smile. “It’s meant for flowers, the test tubes hold one a piece” Namjoon smiles at him too. Sidling up behind Jimin, putting a hand on his shoulder. Namjoon’s warmth splaying over half his back “how much is it?”

- By now it's no secret how much Jimin loves flowers, a love both of you share (Yoongi’s thing is more vegetables). “Namjoon you don’t have too- I don’t need it” he looks like he’s about to say something, Yoongi scrawling something but before either of them can say anything, you get off the phone a few feet away. Pinching the bridge of your nose and their attention is diverted.

- You look substantially more stressed and they don’t need to ask what happened. “Apparently everything goes to shit when we’re gone, but a fuse blew in the house and now none of the refrigerators are working. We also got another call but the old owners are gonna drop the hybrid off later tonight. And apparently, a goat got into the garden but Seokjin got to him before he’d done any damage.” Yoongi looks about ready to run back into the truck at that.

- “Probably because he was distracted running after that otter hybrid again” you slap Namjoon’s arm good-naturedly. “Hush they’ve got crushes, and you remember what that’s like right?” Namjoon glances at Jimin and then at Yoongi, “yeah- I think I do.”

- As you’re on the way out you pass by the fruit section of the flea market- the place that is more a farmers market at the edge of the boardwalk. “those watermelons look good” you divert your course, and Namjoon rolls his eyes, “next thing I know her cravings are going to have me putting watermelon in sour cream soon”

- “That doesn’t seem like a bad combination at all” Yoongi makes a disgusting face, suddenly freezing when he looks over your shoulder, someone walks close to him, nearly knocking into Yoongi and his scent, disquieted and afraid fluffs towards Namjoon and jimin, they hover- instantly surrounding Yoongi while you are unaware. 

- Which is fine- you’re not a hybrid and you can’t smell Yoongi’s distress like they can, you’re distracted by the lady who owns the stand coming upfront to greet you. Namjoon shrivels his nose, the smell of cigarettes permeating and making it hard for him to smell anything else.

- He tries to waves his hands and tell Namjoon and Jimin he’s fine but they won’t listen, the two of them stand on either side of him, staying close but not touching Yoongi- keeping anyone else in the crowd from coming close.

- You start talking to the woman who looks like she owns the stand. she gives one of the watermelons a hearty slap and yoongi flinches. She’s got long black hair and a wide smile- but she looks nice. She makes a wry comment about your baby bump and the watermelons, which you laugh about good naturedly about even if it is a little rude in Jimin’s opinion. Saying that you’re not at the true watermelon part of your pregnancy yet.

- In the end- you part with 10 (for everyone on the farm- it can never hurt to have easy snacks like watermelon in storage) and a half-bushel of their assorted vegetables. As much as you want to be completely self-sustainable your vegetable garden isn’t nearly ready to support every hungry mouth at the farm, and their English cucumbers are long and hard. You look happy to do business with them all said and done.  

- The lady directs one of her farm hands, a big burly man with a bunch of tattoos to help Namjoon, Jimin and Yoongi carry them back and fort to your truck. Yoongi stops you when they’re finished. Shoving a note in your direction. “There’s something I want to go do, can you give me a second?”  

- You nod, already taking out your wallet. Behind the two of you Jimin sneaks a handful of grape tomatoes into his pocket- they’re still his favorite. “we’ll get a few snacks for the drive home, take your time” he tries to not take your money but you won’t take no for an answer. Eventually shoving it in the breast pocket of his linen shirt if he won’t take it with his hands. He grumbles, shoving the wad of 20’s deep in his pocket.

- The three of you don’t think anything of it at all. After all- snake hybrids have uniquely tricky scents to parse out. So it’s no wonder why Jimin and Namjoon don’t smell the distress coming from him still. You think you notice something- but you let it slide. You’re never one to let Yoongi’s sudden mood changes affect you or take them personally.

- Sometimes he just gets too overheated to process things right. And you can tell from the way he’s listless that he’s at least approaching overheating. Getting into the car with the air-conditioning will be good for him. You make a mental note to pick him up another ice coffee.

- But meanwhile- while you’re waiting in line at a fast-food stand, Namjoon grabbing a few bags of chips off of a rack and jimin screwing around with a soda dispenser- figuring out how many different types of soda he can fit in one cup. Yoongi is being thrown into the side of a truck with a loud clang. His back hitting it and then his head jarring painfully. The sound alone sending him reeling into the dirt. But the man doesn’t let him fall. A hand savagely yanking his hair back. The unwanted contact sending shivers all up and down his body.

- “And here I thought you’d be more careful not to come so close. Did you think no one here would recognize you? We knew you where here the second you stepped out of that shitty truck.”

- Yoongi blinks, trying to keep the black spots out of his eyes. And she’s right. He did know better, the beachfront has always been their territory. Yoongi remembers the days he’d sneaked out and walked down to the beach in the middle of the night. The only time he ever felt some semblance of freedom. As long as he remained unseen and unheard she didn’t care. But today he’d been the opposite of unseen.

- He can’t respond. And Knows better than to try. His owner has never been fond of Yoongi’s voice, and she’s trained him well enough to know not to use it ever in front of her, his whole body had almost jumped out of his skin when he’d seen her, and seen you in front of her. All of the protective instincts in his body screaming at him to get you away from her to get you away from danger.  

- Yoongi might be a liar, and a filthy double-crosser, worth every bit of ire and distrust from the other hybrids. He might not deserve your kindness or your care- not even a little bit and still, he’d never let anyone hurt you.

- She kicks off a crate of peaches; her black boots clicking on something metallic in the dust, cracking into one with a pop of her teeth into the tight skin. Coming close and getting in Yoongi’s face as the man holds him there for a second more, but then releases him. Both of them know they can’t rough Yoongi up like usual- any bruises would be too suspicious.

- “Did you like my little present this morning?” Yoongi flinches and she laughs. He’d suspected but hadn’t really known for sure if the message this morning was from her. But now he knows, he’s even more afraid than he was opening the door this morning. At least he’d come when called, Yoongi doesn’t want to think about what would have happened or what might have popped up on your front door had you gone somewhere else today.

- Yoongi is a good hybrid. Years of getting thrown into walls and slapped and kicked and burned by the stray end of a cigarette have trained him well, he always comes when he’s called.

- “You have until the end of the summer Yoongi- after that if you’re not back and with what I asked for, I’ll make sure that house goes up in flames.” She flicks a lighter, starting up a cigarette that makes Yoongi’s nose twinge uncomfortably. Bad memories. So many bad memories from looks like that as she puffs on her cigarette and blows the smoke in his face.

- “It’s a cute house, especially the garden. I didn’t know you had a thing for that- maybe I’ll have you grow some kale or vegan shit for me when you get back. And then I’ll really be like little miss high brow too huh? Looks like she eats healthy” Yoongi shakes and his owner laughs. So then she has been watching him. He doesn’t let himself wonder who at the farm might be there for a reason like Yoongi. What other snakes you might have in your garden.

- Yoongi can’t be there for long, can’t be absent. But he knew from the second he met his owner’s eyes over your shoulder that she would expect him to report back. That to not come when he was called would be as good as promising violent retribution, something far worse than a snake nailed to your front door.

- She leans in close to Yoongi, and Yoongi can’t resist leaning away, as she breathes the smoke in his face, his hands shaking at his sides. He watches her put out her cigarette in the peachy pink flesh of the peach wincing.

- He knows better than to talk back now or even squirm as she leans closer, barely a centimeter from his face. Even though a hook on the side of the truck is digging into the small of his back. “Remember little viper- if I see you so much as touch them- or let out even a fucking whisper- I’ll kill them in front of you then kill you myself”

- Yoongi understands- how could he not- he’s nothing more than her plaything- her spy. Yoongi wonders what she’d do if she knew he’d already broken the first rule. No touching though there had only been a few times, your hand on his arm when he was in the middle of a heat-induced meltdown, and this morning when you’d cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead.

- Before anything else happens, 3 other men of her’s come around the corner of the truck, two of them hooding up the third who looks close to passing out. blood dripping down the side of his shirt. Yoongi has seen enough fights to know how someone looks when they’ve lost one. What’s more surprising is the fact that they’ve lost one here- the boardwalk is supposed to be his owner's territory. To touch her operation here- that means something significant, but even more strangely, his owner and her right-hand man don’t even look surprised.

- He struggles to put the situation together, Yoongi remembers one time when they were teenagers- back when it wasn’t his owner's gang, but her father’s. How he’d gone into a rage because some rival had decided to even vacation on their beaches- nearly unloading the full clip of a gun into their group in broad daylight.

- If they’re being pushed back- even to here, then there is something wrong- a rival gang or the police- whichever party had earned his owner's aggression this time, was surely soon to fall. But a gang war isn’t something that Yoongi’s ever seen. She fusses over the man two others holding him up, and Yoongi slides away, back into the crowd of the boardwalk. Knowing this time- he won’t be missed.

- Yoongi walks back to the car, telling himself to enjoy every minute that he has left. Because once the summer heat fades. He knows it’s all going to go away. As he walks, even as he knows there’s probably someone watching him. He stops in front of the flea market. His feet unable to take him closer to you, the closer he gets- the less safe you are. and still- he wants to be close to you- for just a little longer, so that he knows what it’s like.  

- To have a pack, a family, people who care about him and love him. Before he goes back to how he lived before he wants you to know that he loves you, loves Namjoon and Jiminie too. That he would stay if he could. 

- He might not be able to touch any of the people he wants to touch in the way that he wants or say the words that he wants to say, but he can show you all that you mean to him. At least now- before time runs out and it’s too late.

- Maybe some acts of defiance are less about trying to live, and more about making sure you have a chance to live before his misdeeds eventually catch up with him. And if anyone is deserving of some sort of karmic judgment It’s Yoongi.

- He hopes you won't hate him when you find out- if you ever do.

- It’s worth it- it’s all worth it to see the way that Jimin’s ears perk up when Yoongi brings back the flower holder from the stand for him, that and a silk bandana for Namjoon to keep his hair back when he’s working, and the little wall trinket you were looking at. stained glass cut in the shape of a pair of cherries. (He won’t know- but later- you’ll hang it in the window of the nursery of your and Namjoon’s room)

- The puppy holds the flower holder in his lap the whole ride home. Nearly getting his chubby finger stuck in one of the test tubes at one point. That nearly makes Yoongi laugh out loud. As you wind your way back to the farm, snacking on fried dough and blooming onions making Namjoon’s breath stinky enough that you press on his chest when he leans in for a kiss and eventually relents when he lets out a heartbreaking wine.

- Yoongi doesn’t let himself dream for more of this- because however long he gets he know he won't deserve it either way- he doesn’t deserve a single act of kindness from you. Let alone the kind of care and love you’ve all shown him. He just closes his eyes, leans his cheek against the open window, and lets his soul rest. Just for a little longer. All he needs is a little longer.

- Yoongi lies to himself and tells himself that the summer will be enough.

- Later that night, You’re already underneath your covers, turning restless in your too warm sheets. Namjoon lingers in the bathroom brushing his teeth. “Did you notice something strange with Yoongi today?”

- “No- why?” you fiddle with the edge of your coverlet. 

- “He seemed super tense on the way how and somehow I got it into my head that there was something more wrong with him than usual” Namjoon sets a glass of water for you on your bedside table pulls himself over the top of your bedspread. Pressing a toothpasty kiss to your mouth that makes you smile. His hand coming up to cradle your hip, thumb rubbing wide strokes over your baby bump.

- He always gets this look in his eyes. A little lost in his own love when he looks at you late at night like this. You pepper a kiss down his cheek and over his scar, making his face twitch a little-you know it tickles in the same way he knows you’re teasing him- just a little. “If you want to go check on him, I don’t mind.”

- Namjoon’s point is clear, the emphasis on check you know what he means and what he wants. The emphasis on hybrid pack dynamics, that it really wouldn’t be strange to Namjoon If you went to Yoongi’s room…and ended up spending a little time there. If anything- it probably seems weird to him if you haven’t.

- You let the moment slide, lean over to turn off the light, and kiss Namjoon a little more, his lips are hot but gentle on yours. Taking the time to kiss you without a rush for more, nipping at your neck once before he settles in- you’re getting into the stage of your pregnancy where its hard to lay on your side too much so instead- Namjoon mimics your usual position, his leg slung over your thighs, head tucked close to your shoulder.

- And he makes these cute little noises, little huffs and small growl groans that remind you of a puppy before he falls asleep. But you can’t sleep- you stare at the ceiling in your bedroom and can’t help but think about Yoongi earlier. How you thought for a second you’d seen him crying on the way home, spied in your rearview mirror, head hanging out the window and his cheeks wet. somehow your bed feels more empty than it used too. Even with you and Namjoon in it. 

- after a few more minutes where you wonder if you’ll ever get to sleep, You slip out of your and Namjoon’s bed and sneak down the hallway. Your footsteps cushioned against the carpet as you head down the hall to Yoongi’s room. and you know it’s late but you can’t leave him alone- not when you could fix it and help him.

- You knock softly; thinking about all of the times in which you try to help- on your worst days- when it feels like helping others is all your good for. nothing else in you but that, nothing to appreciate or love beyond what you can do for others because you feels so broken- too broken to be loved without giving up your time like an apology. A lot of the time it feels like you have nothing but acts of service to offer. But on those days, it’s always Namjoon, Yoongi, and jimin that soothe you without even trying,

- Your lover cupping your chin in his hand and telling you that he can’t get enough of you, that he thought about you all day and couldn’t wait to just stand close to you. The quiet care he shows you, massaging the puffy ball of your ankle. The way sometimes he’ll come up behind you when you’re fiddling with your outfit in the morning, his wide hands fisting in the sides of your dress. Making a low whine and scent marking along your shoulder so that every hybrid on the farm knows you’re his. 

- The way namjoon can tell just by looking at you if you need his help, and knows better, like today, when you need a little distance to get your thoughts sorted. 

- Yoongi’s soft companionship the way he’ll shake his head and take the heavy things from you, the roll of his eyes doing the speaking for him, “what would Namjoon think if I let you carry this on your own” or the way that he’d sometimes tap the edge of your hat with his long fingers making it bounce, lip pulling up to show his cute little fangs.

- When jimin looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the side for him. Ready to ramble on and on about whatever new thing he’d tried today. Wanting to include you in his process as he became adjusted to the world. The way that he hangs on to every word you say, following you around like a lost puppy, but you would never mind that- how could you? When he was so smitten that it made your heart flutter to be liked with such loving intent.

- You knock on Yoongi’s door, and he answers with wet cheeks, looking startled, rubbing his cheek with the side of his hand. “Yoongi, are you alright?” he shakes his head, hovering, body swaying. You can tell from the hum that the air-conditioning is on high. Not too surprising given the heat of the day, and you know it’s easier for Yoongi to make his room cool and then work up to the kind of warmth he needs then do it the other way.

- His blinds are all drawn, no light on in his room. Thought you peeked outside and sure enough- the stars were shining bright, no moon in the sky.  “Can I come in?” Yoongi looks like- fuck- this is going to hurt him, but he nods anyway. 

- He scoots over in his bed and moves one of the covers down and lets you climb in on the other side of the bed, and the covers are cool and comfortable beneath your skin, the only light in the room comes from the display panel of the air-conditioning unit and the green makes Yoongi’s eyes glow yellow. “You can tell me- something’s wrong, isn’t it? if its something I can fix you’ve got to tell me- Yoongi- I-“

- Yoongi pulls himself up to hover over you on one arm, his other hand coming up to comb back your hair, you’re stunned into silence. The words leaving your mouth as you find yourself inches away from him, the cool line of his body pressed up against yours. And you think- because you’re both in pajamas and not actually touching skin to skin- you think that is the reason why it might not bother him so much. 

- Yoongi is all lithe muscle and harsh edges, but he’s nothing more than gentle with his hands when he softly brushes over your cheek, his eyes molten gold as he tilts his chin up, his soft lips press against your forehead for just a second, the reverse of what you’d done for him this morning.

- Maybe you were both too worn out from the day’s events not too need each other’s company. He tilts his body to the side and leans up on his elbow to watch you. And you might expect it to feel strange- his body and it’s the absence of heat, but underneath the covers it actually feels comforting, cooling amid the summer humidity that just won’t quit.

- He leans in close to poke at your cheek with his nose, nuzzling with slow curling motions as if to tell you- go to sleep, and sleep you do, the coolness of the bed and Yoongi’s body supplying relief to your overheated muscles. Yoongi knows what you needed without you having to say it- the same way that you always knew what he needed. Yoongi stays close and curls around you tightly- his arm and his leg wrapping around you, protecting you both from something you might not see.

- Your last thought before you fall asleep is a question, is Yoongi’s strong grip on you- like he’s holding on for dear life, something to do with his snake genes? Or is there some other reason why his muscles and legs tremble when they hold you close like he’s afraid something is going to be able to separate you.

- Before you truly fall asleep, you think you hear a low voice say something, just a few words, but regardless of what Yoongi might have said- or if he spoke at all, You won’t remember it in the morning. 

Kofi

BONUS: Jimin’s little flower holder!

[abbysfrenchbraid]

hi! i love all of your writing, especially your abby fanfics. i know you’re in the middle of your eivor series right now, so pls disregard if you don’t feel like writing this request or don’t want to write for abby, but i was wondering if you could maybe write a hurt/comfort type imagine where abby either comforts the reader when they’re sad or after they have a nightmare. i get really frequent nightmares and love to read fanfics like this but totally understand if you’re not into the idea. all the love and i hope you’re doing well; merry christmas if you celebrate!

so this is half a year late, but I finally have a little more time to go through my requests so here it is! this is also the first time I've actively avoided gendering the reader as I've gotten a few requests for a nonbinary or genderfluid reader. This is not a cop-out on that, I definitely want to write an explicitly nb reader but I figured this would make the reading experience better for quite a few people!

Summary: The reader has recently lost a family member and stranded with the WLF. They struggle with frequent panic attacks and nightmares. Abby notices and tries to take care of them.

CW for loss of a family member (sibling), death and grief, heavy trauma, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares, and struggling to breathe. The nightmares are also fairly violent and creepy so please watch out for yourselves and only read this if you're in a good state of mind <3

I've Got You

The truck rattled as Leah drove it up the road to the WLF stadium. It had been a particularly rough day on patrol. You and the other wolf had run into a group of freshly infected that seemed to have been three families once. The children had been the worst. The youngest had probably been about ten years old before she had turned, her eyes bright blue and her blonde curls matted with dried blood. You had taken care of them all, of course you had. But it had been horrible. You folded your hands in your lap to keep them from shaking.

You had joined the WLF a few months ago after losing your team and your little sister in a clicker-infested cellar you had set up camp in. It had been so fucking stupid, so careless. But everyone had been tired, you hadn’t seen any infected in days, and so only one of you had kept watch. He barely had time to scream before the clicker had ripped out his throat. It had been chaos, madness, everyone scrambling to escape into the network of damp corridors and storage rooms, more and more clickers being drawn to you by the noise.

Leah raised her hand at the armed guards at the gate and they opened for your truck. The sun was setting behind you and most people were inside the stadium now, eating or spending time with friends. Both of you were quiet. Leah’s legs were covered in slowly darkening blood and the smell was nauseating. The tall wolf pulled the truck into its designated spot and took a deep breath.

“Y/N?” You looked up at her. The circles under her eyes could compete with yours, but her face was still as kind as ever.

“Yeah?”

“You take care of yourself today. Take a long shower, get something to eat. I’ll let Martha know to give you a double portion for dinner.”

You smiled faintly at her. This was how it was here. All the wolves had seen terrible things and probably done even worse. They all chose to let it out in training and then leave it behind them. No sense in holding on. You nodded.

“Thanks, Lee. See you in the gym tomorrow.”

The brunette grinned and patted your thigh.

“6 am sharp!” She jumped out of the car and gave back the keys at the checkpoint, then she vanished inside the stadium.

You stayed in your seat. Your fingers had cramped up and you were scared to unfold them, scared you would never be able to stop them from shaking again.

Sierra had held your hand all the way, not letting go as you dragged her through the darkness, fought off four infected, stumbled up stairs you had not come down on, and found yourself in a ravaged theater. You had run all night and only stopped when you were unable to go a single step further. When you had found a small pawnshop that you could lock up safely, you had made a bed of your jacket and a moth-eaten blanket from the theater. Sierra had started to cry. You would never forget the way dread had started to creep into your limbs, seeping into your skin and stretching dark tendrils toward your throat. You had rolled up Sierra’s sleeve and there it was. A relatively small mark, just the puncture wounds from two teeth turned into mean scratches as Sierra had pulled her arm from the jaws of a clicker and kept on running. But it had already begun to fester, the edges of the wound an angry red contrasting the white blisters forming around the site. It felt like the ground had been pulled from below your feet. You fell and fell, unable to speak, to do anything, just staring at the thing that meant the end of the world. The end of your baby sister.

A shout caught your attention - another car had returned to the stadium and was pulling into a spot a few paces away. It was Manny and Abby, everyone’s favorite duo. The attractive joker and the stoic warrior. They were among Leah’s best friends and she had introduced them to you a while ago, all of them welcoming you warmly. It had been strange, being part of a group again, a team. Your heart was still too sore.

So you had quietly pulled yourself out of most of the group evenings, the film nights and game nights and arm wrestling tournaments and what else there was to do. Manny had tried his luck flirting with you a few times and one time you had even joined him for a dance, but after realizing he wouldn’t land with you he had respectfully backed off and now treated you more like a little sister. Mel and Owen had been nice, too, both very secluded when they turned up together, but Owen was funny and enthusiastic and always yelled your name across the cafeteria or the training course when he saw you. He was one of the few people who could make you laugh no matter how hard you tried not to.

Nora was a whirlwind, the smartest person you had ever known and unfaltering no matter what the universe threw at her feet. She liked poetry and hard rock music, big men and even bigger women. You had often wondered whether she and Abby had ever hooked up. But you weren’t sure of anything concerning Abby. Always the stony face, the impenetrable wall, the arms-length smile and polite nod in the hallway. It could be infuriating at times. Especially because despite it all, against all your better judgment, you could feel yourself growing more and more interested in her, constantly looking for her in a crowd and sneaking side glances to see if she was listening to you or laughing at the same things.

The car doors banged and the sound echoed through the small space. Manny was laughing about something Abby had said and walked with a bounce in his step as he approached the counter to hand back his keys. Abby looked like she always did, khaki cargo pants and a black cutoff, her green backpack slung over one muscular shoulder. Some strands of hair had escaped her braid and curled up at the back of her neck, slightly damp from her sweat in the hot summer air. Trying to calm down and distract yourself, you let your gaze wander up her strong build, freckled biceps flexing as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. And then she looked straight at you. You didn’t move, stayed frozen as you had for the last few minutes, wishing you were invisible.

Your face felt hot and suddenly there were tears blurring your vision - what was happening?! Your knees started shaking as well, bouncing uncontrollably as your nails dug into the backs of your hands. Your throat was closing up and your bottom lip was quivering. All you saw were specks of grey and green, all you felt was your body resisting every command and rebelling against you, trying to hold you in place and suffocate you silently.

Suddenly the door opened beside you and a soft, deep voice said your name. You tried to blink the tears away but your vision wouldn’t clear up, panic blinding you further. You began shaking your head as your chest convulsed in a desperate attempt to draw breath.

“Fuck, Y/N, okay.” Abby’s voice was determined and suddenly her hands were on your wrists. Her skin was warm and dry, her grip firm. She softly shook your clasped hands and somehow moved so her face was in front of yours, a mess of green and brown and there, soft pink where her lips moved, speaking quietly and telling you to breathe with her. One hand stayed on your wrist and her thumb massaged the cramped up muscle there, digging painfully into your flesh but pulling you back to her slowly. One hand came up closer and a calloused thumb brushed the tears from your cheek before her hand landed on your shoulder, fingers pressing into your upper back.

“Hey, look at me, look at me, Y/N, you’re okay, I’m here. Can you try to breathe in with me on three? Just stop fighting for a moment, count with me and then we’ll breathe in together. Okay? One.”

You tried to sit up straighter and stop the erratic twitching of your chest, still choking on your breath as you waited for her commando.

“Two. Three.”

Her hand pressed between your shoulders from behind and suddenly you could breathe again, a loud gasp that turned into quiet sobs as you fought to release the air from your lungs before breathing in again.

“There we go, you’re doing so good,” Abby’s hand was on your cheek again, “so good, Y/N, breathe with me, that’s right.”

Your vision slowly returned to you now, though it was still distorted by  tears. Abby had half-climbed into the truck, one foot between yours and one dangling out of the open door, her weight held up only by her right leg as she pressed her back against the dashboard. A wet laugh escaped you. Abby shot you a confused look, paired with the hint of a relieved smile.

“What?”

“You’re gonna get a cramp as well,” you rasped, “if you keep that up.”

You slid further to the inside of the broad seat, making room for Abby next to you. She grinned and sat down, one hand still on your wrist. Her eyes went down to your trembling hands, your knuckles still white from your iron grip.

“Okay, let’s take care of your hands, hm?”

Her fingers wandered softly over yours, then she rested one hand over your tangled fingers and pushed her other thumb between your palms, gently loosening your hold. She pulled back each finger slowly, starting with your thumbs and stroking each one as they relaxed. Finally, your shaking hands lay freely on your thighs.

“You’re doing so well, Y/N, don’t worry.” She took one of your hands in her lap and started massaging the inside of your palm. “Wanna tell me what got you there?”

You sighed, breath still shaky with tears.

“Um.. We ran into infected today. Runners. Families, it seemed.”

Abby sucked in a breath and gave you back your hand before taking the other and starting the same gentle procedure.

“Those are the hardest. Kids?”

You nodded and Abby made a soft noise. You took another rattling breath.

“I… I lost my little sister. Back when… before I came to you.”

Her head shot up and she stared at you, shock and sympathy playing over her features.

“Fuck, Y/N, you never said…”

“I know.” You lowered your head.

When you had stumbled out of the woods around the WLF stadium and begged them to let you in, they had stripped you and searched you before bringing you to their leader. After hours of questioning to make sure you weren’t a spy for any other group, he knew about your team and everything you had done in the last three years, but you hadn’t mentioned Sierra once. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. They had brought you to Nora who had patched you up, examined you, and fed you before showing you to your new room. It was a small closet on the base level of the stadium, with only a tiny window letting in some light. You were thankful for a roof over your head and the armed posts surrounding the stadium.

“I didn’t want to talk about her. I didn’t lie to Isaac or betray you. It wasn't anyone's business.” You gave Abby a fierce look. Nothing would change your mind about this. She just nodded, her eyes wide. You sighed, brushing your hands against each other.

“She was bitten. I see her every time I close my eyes. It wasn’t fair.” You dropped your hands into your lap. “I just don’t… I can’t -”

Abby’s hand was on yours again, her fingers sliding between yours.

“Hey. I won’t tell anyone. But I’m here, okay? If you want to talk.”

You scoffed.

“No one ever talks here. You’re all made of stone.”

Abby contemplated this for a few seconds, then she squeezed your hand.

“My dad was murdered a few years ago. Almost all of our families are dead.” Now it was your turn to be shocked. Fuck. You had been so insensitive. “By us, I mean Owen, Nora, Jordan, and me. Owen lost his parents to infected and his brothers to the scars just last year.”

Abby leaned back and stared out of the windshield, the garage now dark except for a few small lamps at the exits.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. Of course, I’m in no place to tell you how to deal with it.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right, you know. We don’t talk about those things.” She looked at you, her gaze so intense you almost pulled back. “Would you like to?”

You forced yourself to hold her gaze.

“I think I would. Now that it’s all… further away.”

Abby nodded, squeezing your hand again.

“Then we’ll talk. You can tell me all about your sister. And… I haven’t talked about my dad in a long time. I think I’d like to tell you about him, too. He was great.”

A small smile played around her lips and you felt a rush of gratitude for this wonderful woman. You could practically see the memories playing through her head behind those green eyes. She blinked, looking back at you.

“Wanna get something to eat? You must be starving. I know I am.”

“Sure.” You shared another smile and exited the car together, fingers still intertwined as you crossed the lot and Abby held the door open for you.

Dinner was already over, but Leah had kept her word and the elder woman at the counter gave you both gigantic bowls of beef stew with thick, coarse bread. You told Abby about your patrol that day and she hummed sympathetically. She knew what it felt like to deal with infected children. After a while, the door to the cafeteria flew open and Manny came in, sleek black hair still wet from a shower. He grinned brightly as he made his way over to you and sat next to you on the metal bench.

“You coming along tonight?” he asked you, drumming his fingers on the table. You raised your eyebrows.

“What’s happening tonight?”

He tutted at Abby and gave her a theatrical frown.

“You didn’t invite Y/N? It’s Mel’s birthday! Owen got his hands on some prime hooch. You celebrating with us?”

You smiled at your plate. The last thing you needed was to get wasted and completely lose any shred of sanity you had left.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll join you. I still haven’t showered and I had a terrible day. I’m just gonna read a bit and pass out, I think.” You gave him an apologetic shrug.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. Read and pass out? It’s a special occasion! You sure?”

“Yeah, but really, thank you for inviting me. Maybe next time.”

He sighed heavily, then he clapped his hand on the table and stood up.

“Abby, you need to get moving, girl. We’re meeting in 20 and you stink.”

Abby just raised her eyebrows and shook her head, finishing her stew. Manny's laughter echoed through the empty room as he left.

“Do I really smell that bad?” There was a twinkle in her eye, a conspiratorial smile on her lips. You smiled back.

“Not at all. He probably smelled me.” You grabbed her empty bowl and placed it in yours. “Go have fun, I’ll clean this up. See you at training.”

Abby cocked her head to the side, seemingly not sure what to do. You gave her another encouraging smile.

“Really, I’m fine. Thank you for taking care of me, I owe you. Go celebrate!”

The tall blonde stood up slowly. She still seemed hesitant.

“I’ll come check on you later if that’s okay. And you can always come over and talk to me if something’s wrong, alright?”

Your chest felt tight all of a sudden, but not in the way it had earlier. It was the feeling of reaching for something knowing you’d never have it, of wanting something so bad and only being able to admire it from a distance. It felt like being homesick. You thought of Sierra again and how she had been your home, the only anchor in your life. Fuck, not now.

You shook your head as if to get rid of your thoughts and gave Abby a brave smile.

“Okay. But I’ll be fine. Promise.”

“Okay. See you later, then.”

“See you.”

Abby gave you a last look over her shoulder before exiting the cafeteria and you made your way over to the kitchen. The cooks had already left and a lanky red-haired boy was the only one still there, washing dishes and listening to music on an mp3 player. The metallic sound in his headphones echoed through the peacefully quiet kitchen. He almost jumped two feet into the air when you approached from the side, bowls in your hand.

“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me! Jesus Christ.” He pressed a wet hand to his chest, the suds leaving a dark print on his shirt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how not to scare you, music and all. Sorry.” Both of you had to laugh and he held his dripping hands out for your dirty bowls.

“Don’t worry, I just wasn’t expecting anyone this late. You just come back from a mission?”

“Just a patrol run.”

You leaned against the counter and watched him clean the dishes.

“Anything exciting happen?” His eyes were bright and excited. He was even younger than he had looked at first, he couldn’t be older than 15. “My brother is on patrols too. Maybe you know him, his name is Danny.”

You crossed your arms and tried to remember the face that matched that name. Danny had been on patrol with Owen for a while when you had first arrived, but now he was stationed on some outpost and you hadn’t seen him for a long time.

“Yeah, I think I do. He’s not here at the moment, right?”

“He’s at the Serevena Hotel. I may be able to visit him there soon, depending on how my training goes.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“Training to be a soldier?”

“Of course.” He stood up straight. “I want to do my part, protect our people. Fight the scars.”

You didn’t really know how to respond to that. Even though you were thankful the WLF had taken you in and even though you had also participated in rigorous training from the first day on, soon being cleared for missions, you didn’t really have the same loyalty and faith for the organization. The seraphites were your enemies now, of course, but they were just people. You all were. Sometimes you wondered how it could have come to this - so few people left on this earth and here you were, slaughtering each other.

“I hope you can visit your brother soon.” You let your arms fall to the side and turned to leave. “Thanks for the dishes.”

“No problem,” he mumbled, putting his headphones back in.

You were in no rush to get to your room and so you took a few detours, passing the gym which was filled with quite a lot of people getting their training in after work. You looked into empty classrooms, trying to decipher what was written on the board. Would Sierra have studied here? Sat in the front, eager to learn the things you hadn’t been able to teach her? What if you had come here earlier, before it all happened? Could they have protected her better than you had? She would probably be walking next to you now, telling you about her day.

When you finally arrived at your room, you just quickly grabbed a towel, a clean shirt, and some shorts and headed for the showers. The hot water seemed to help somewhat. You wondered what Abby was up to right now. Probably getting drunk and having fun. Was she the type of person who danced? You had never seen her dance before. Maybe Nora would persuade her. There it was again, that heavy, pulling feeling. You turned the water off, got dressed, and went straight to bed. Enough heartache for one day.

-

You woke up confused, not knowing where you were at first. It was pitch black and there was some kind of noise outside. You reached around you and finally found the flashlight next to your pillow, turning it on and trying to wipe the sleep from your eyes. What was going on?

It had to be after midnight. The lights in the stadium were only on from 5.30 am to 10 pm in order to save power. You untangled yourself from your sheets and got on your feet, swaying a little. There it was again, that strange scratching noise accompanied by a quiet mumbling sound. It wasn’t directly at your door but seemed to come from further down the corridor. There were a few other people living down here in storerooms and sectioned hallways.

Yawning, you walked to the door and opened it ever so slightly, pressing the flashlight to your thigh in order to keep the light down at first. You couldn’t see anything, so you waved the flashlight around the corridor. Your stomach dropped.

At the far end of the hallway, a small figure stood in front of one of the doors, trying to open it to no avail. Small hands scratched at the wood, quiet brabbling reached your ears. This was wrong. Very wrong. The figure hadn’t noticed the light yet. It went on to the next door, trying the door handle and whining in frustration when it didn’t open.

Why didn’t the people inside wake up from the noise? You stood frozen as the figure tried the next door. It was a child, dressed in dotted pyjamas. Its blonde hair was shoulder length and tangled in knots. You slowly pushed your door open wider in order to step out into the corridor. Suddenly, the hinges squeaked and the sound echoed through the hallway.

The child slowly turned toward you. Blood was dripping from its mouth, its eyes were cold. It took a step toward you. You looked down and realized you were holding a gun. Oh. Right. Infected. You were supposed to shoot them.

As the kid made another strange brabbling sound, more blood ran down the front of the cotton pyjama shirt. You raised the flashlight with shaky fingers and aimed it right at the child's face.

Your blood froze in your veins. No. This couldn’t be. You had taken care of her, you had made sure she wouldn’t… wouldn’t turn into one of these… No, you had given her a peaceful ending.

“Sierra.” Your voice was raspy, quiet with terror. “Sierra, what are you doing here, baby?”

She growled. A horribly wrong sound, coming from someone so small and so lovely. Only she wasn’t lovely anymore. She was sick. Infected.

“Sierra!” You spoke louder now, your voice pleading. “Baby, please don’t do that. It’s me, see?” You raised the flashlight to light your own face for a moment. When you put it back on her, she had stopped walking. Her face was a mask of ice-cold fury. When she spoke, her voice rattled like nails in a metal box, rough like chalk on board.

“Y/N… Why?

You sank to your knees.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry Siri, I was so helpless. I didn’t know, I didn’t…”

“You… killed… me.”

She was getting dangerously close now and all of a sudden you could smell her, too. Foul, dead, vile. The smell of sickness and decay. You raised the gun, a war raging between your head and your heart.

“Sierra, stop. Stop.” Tears were streaming down your face. “Please stop, Siri. Don’t come any closer. Stop, stop! Please stop!”

Your little baby sister was so close that you could have reached out a hand and brushed through her hair. You stood up and took a step back.

“I’m gonna have to shoot you if you don’t step back. You’re infected, Siri. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you can’t, please Sierra. Don’t, please don’t…”

She hissed at you and lurched forward. A shot rang through the air and the girl fell to the floor right before you, her tiny body at your feet, blood slowly pooling around her head. You dropped the gun and it clattered on the concrete floor. You clapped your hands to your mouth and screamed into your palms, crying out again and again, trying to gasp for air. It felt like your heart was being torn in two.

Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder. You whirled around, but there was only darkness. You let yourself fall to the floor and kept weeping into your hands. Someone gripped your wrists and shook them slightly. You opened your eyes.

Abby was sitting on the side of your bed, her face right above yours and full of worry. You shook your head, frantically looking around your room for any kind of danger. The room was almost dark, light just seeping through the crack under the door. It was still early in the night.

“Y/N? Hey, hey. You’re okay.” Abby slowly let go of your wrists. “You had a nightmare. You’re okay now, I’m here.”

You were still too terrified to speak, so you just scooted further to the side and grabbed Abby’s hand, giving her a pleading look. She understood immediately, kicking off her shoes and climbing into bed next to you, holding out her arm for you to crawl into. You pressed yourself to her side and rested your head on her chest, feeling yourself tremble in her arms. She just held you for a while, letting you listen to her heartbeat until your own body began to calm down.

“Hi,” you whispered into the dim room. Abby stroked your hair while she held you tightly.

“Hey there,” she mumbled back. “Feeling better?”

“Not really.” You looked up at her. She smelled faintly of alcohol and something sweet. “How was your party?”

The corner of her mouth twitched.

“It was absolute chaos. I had to escape from there before it could consume me. And I also had someone to check on.” She squeezed your shoulder. You cringed at the thought of her finding you like this, writhing and talking in your sleep, crying out or even fighting her without knowing who was in front of you. You had always had horrible nightmares and Sierra had taken the brunt of them, waking you countless nights and trying to stay brave when you yelled at her or shoved her away in the first moments of consciousness, not yet fully back in the real world. Now that she was gone, they were a hundred times worse. You pressed your forehead to Abby’s shoulder.

“Did I scream?”

“Not really. I just knocked a few times and then I heard you talking, and you sounded so panicked that I thought I should make sure… I’m sorry I just came in like that.”

You shook your head.

“No, don’t. Thank you for waking me. It was… God, I hate this.”

Abby’s fingers combed through your hair, massaging your scalp. It was heavenly.

“Does this happen a lot?”

You snorted involuntarily.

“Every night. Several times. I never sleep through and I never sleep enough.” You wiped a hand over your face. “Sorry, I know I’m not the only one and it could be worse. It’s just… hard.”

“Excuse me?” Abby’s tone made you look up at her. “You’re telling me you have several panic attacks in your sleep every night but it’s fine because others have nightmares, too?”

You frowned. Panic attacks? You’d never thought of it that way.

“Y/N, you’re allowed to complain. To me especially. Remember, we wanted to talk about our problems? Be open about all this?”

She was right. You pressed yourself closer to her.

“I guess, yeah. Thank you for… for being here.”

“Wanna tell me about your nightmare?”

You held onto Abby’s shirt, clenching the fabric in your fist as if she might be ripped from you at any moment.

“I don’t know… I mean, why not. Well…” How were you even supposed to explain all this? How would you ever talk about your sister without freaking out again?

Abby pressed a kiss to the top of your head and you felt the tension in your stomach dissolve. You took a deep breath.

“I can never tell I’m dreaming. This time I thought I heard something in the corridor and I went to see what it was. A little girl was scratching on doors, trying to get in. She looked like the… like one of the infected we ran into today. But I made a noise and when she turned around she was... She was -” You gasped for air, trying to keep your calm. Abby hummed softly, stroking your back and giving you time to think.

“She had the face of my sister. Sierra.” You hadn’t said her name out loud in so long, only in the nightmares. Maybe it was time to rid her name of that terror, that fear, and grant it the love and warmth it deserved. “Sierra was my little sister. We ran with a group the last few years, stayed with them after our mom died. But she was bitten and I had to… I had to let her go.” You swallowed hard. Abby’s thumb drew circles on your back.

“So in the dream… the girl turned around and she was her . And I didn’t know what to do. I begged her to stop, to not come any closer because she was infected, she was bleeding, and -” You drew in another breath and buried your face in Abby’s chest. “She asked me why I’d done it, why I had… and she kept coming and then she attacked me and I - I had to, I had to shoot her.”

Hot tears were burning in your eyes and your throat was impossibly tight again. Abby gently placed a hand on your cheek and turned your face up toward her.

“I’m not gonna tell you it was just a dream because I know it's more complicated than that. I get them, too, sometimes. But what I can tell you is that I’m here, that you’re safe now, that your sister is in a better place and that one day you will be able to speak about her without feeling like you’re falling apart.”

“You think so?”

“I’m sure of it. And now you're with me. We can heal together. I’m here, I’ll always be here for you, okay?”

You raised your head from her chest and turned a little in order to get face to face with her.

“Abby?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you doing this? Why now? I didn’t even think you liked me. You don’t have to take care of me.”

Abby’s features softened and she huffed out a silent laugh.

“I don’t know. I really… You were right when you said we keep everything to ourselves. But some of us do it more than others. And I guess I’m the worst when it comes to showing what I want.”

The sentence hung in the air for a moment. Abby took a deep breath.

“I like you, I really do. I just thought you needed more time. I know what it’s like to suffer and to feel like you can’t breathe. I wanted to give you space. But then I saw you in the car and I immediately knew what was happening. And I finally realized that I wouldn’t make things better by staying away.”

She held your gaze and you felt something shift between you. Her hand on your back came to a halt. You smiled softly.

“I always thought you didn’t find me interesting enough to talk to me. I was so jealous of the others for being this close to you and for making you laugh. I wanted that, too.”

“You’re the most interesting person that’s ever walked into this stadium,” Abby said softly. “God, I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to feel left out.”

You rested your head back on her shoulder.

“You made it up to me already. Really, you saved me today. Twice.”

Abby chuckled.

“Just wait until I have my next breakdown and then you can return the favor. Shouldn’t be long, they get to me every few days.”

You wrapped your arms around her torso.

“Well, then you’ll just have to stay close by.”

She hesitated, holding her breath for a second. You waited.

“Do you want me to stay? Tonight?”

You smiled to yourself.

“Would you?”

“Of course.”

You kept talking for a while. Abby told you about the party and about the cook Nora was currently hooking up with, and you told her about the boy in the kitchen. She recalled training with Danny when she first joined the WLF, laughing about how he had boasted that he wouldn’t lose to a girl and how she had him on the ground in a headlock in about two seconds.

At some point you must have fallen asleep, because the next thing you knew you were in the truck again, sitting in the passenger seat as the car flew through Seattle at top speed. You looked over and in the driver's seat there was the red-haired boy from the kitchen. His face was determined, a hard mask of concentration. He was panting hard, driving as fast as he could. Arrows were flying around you, soaring through the broken windows of the car and missing you by mere inches. A horse was whinnying. Scars. You immediately pulled out your gun and started shooting at everything that moved outside, hitting at least three people and a horse.

“Sorry,” you whispered as you reloaded. Animals weren’t fair.

You looked up and suddenly there was someone standing in the middle of the street. A small girl, brown-haired and in a red dress. Her back was to you. You screamed at the driver, but it was too late. The truck hit the child and it was thrown against the windshield, making a horrible noise as it cracked the glass and rolled over the roof to the back of the car where it fell to the ground. The truck came to a shrieking halt and you jumped out, gun drawn. The scars had vanished. You and the redhead ran back to where the girl was laying in a heap on the street, so small and fragile. Blood was running through the cracks in the pavement.

You turned the girl on her back and froze when you saw her face.

“Sierra! No, no, no, oh god no, what have we done - Sierra, Sierra, baby, look at me!”

“Y/N!” You heard your name but Sierra’s lips weren’t moving. “Y/N!” You whipped your head around and woke up.

It was dark and Abby had an arm wrapped around you, the other was holding your cheek. You swallowed and struggled for air.

“I’ve got you, hey, just breathe for me, I’ve got you.” Abby’s voice was sleepy and rough, something you'd have never thought you’d have the privilege of hearing. It calmed you down instantly. You dug your fingers into her arm, strong muscle flexing beneath your touch.

“Shhh, that’s right, just hold on. You’re okay.” You melted into her arms, hands and legs still shaking. She made a quiet humming noise in the back of her throat and pressed another kiss to your scalp. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you. I’m here.”

“You’re here,” you whispered and she hummed again in response. You rested your head against her chest and listened to her breaths as they slowly became more regular, chest steadily moving against you. Her heartbeat thumped softly in your ear. Cocooned in the wolf’s arms and serenaded by the quiet symphony of her sleeping body, you finally drifted off to sleep again.

[bigskydreaming]

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

[black-rose-writings]

I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

So, it's time I post something about the things I liked and disliked about Stranger Things season 4 because many people discuss this half season.

Let me tell you, I don't hate it and I don't love it. It has its flaws but that doesn't mean there are no good parts about it.

What I loved about Stranger Things season 4

Max is filled with deep regret and guilt she didn't try to change it, didn't try to change the way they see each other. And the trauma of seeing him die, sacrificing himself to save El and Max and all of them, sits deep. It's the whole package of grief. Her mother has a lot of stress, they moved to a trailer park and Max feels empty and alone. Isolation is what easily happens when you grieve and work through trauma. You don't have enough energy for socializing because you barely sleep and feel like others might not understand you because they haven't outlived something similar. I remember when my grandpa died and my best friend was there, silent, and just said "oh okay" because she didn't know what to feel. You can feel more of an outsider than ever before when people you care about react this way. It totally makes sense for her to break up with Lukas. He reminds her of the time before all of this, when life was a light breeze, but it pains her that he is holding on to that old version of her. "I have changed", she feels misunderstood, too caught up in her head and overwhelmed by life going on and people not stopping for a minute like she did.

My first point is Max played by Sadie Sink. I love Sadie Sink, especially since "all too well" because she nailed that. Here in this fourth season, she could show off her potential as well. After the finale of season 3, it would have been cold of the writers to let her move on as if nothing has happened because Billy was her brother after all. At his grave she says something like "you hated me and I hated you but maybe we could've started again" which captures very well how much she was used to his attitude. She was used to it. Billy was always moody and an ass but somehow they were stuck together. I wouldn't say it was hate, it wasn't love either. They lived together without existing together. Just a mutual understanding of the situation with the deep wish to change it but communication is too hard.

I think it's a very interesting storyline and showed an extremely different side of Max and the way she copes with strong emotions. Before, she swallowed all of it, but now, she's at a loss. I find it truly amazing how well Sadie Sink portrays this grief and dispair. The graveyard scene had me holding my breath when she read out her letter and started crying.

Also, we see Max having a very strong will. She was always part of the team, part of the plan, didn't stand out. But here with Vagna, she is alone, she fights her battle and she has such a strong will to live, this whole scene reminded me of Harry Potter. Vagna is the dementor Harry pushed away with a patronus filled with happiness. It's the same Max did and she holds on to dear life because despite it all, she wants to live. It's a very different character approach.

Let's move on to Will. Will and El work out great as siblings and it's of course because Milly Bobby Brown and Noah Schnapp are such close friends in real life. Else this wouldn't have worked out so great as it did. But I truly love their sibling dynamic with both of them being the outsiders but Will always tries to let the situation seem brighter than it actually is. He comforts El and tries to show her that even though he doesn't understand her the way she wants to be understood, he is there and will always be. He never takes her for granted, never calls her stupid and tries to save her from herself mostly. Other than Mike shouting "what did you do", Will knew El didn't mean it that way. She didn't mean for Angela to be hurt that fatal and El is obviously very disturbed afterwards.

Side not: I love how the Byers are calling her their sister/daughter. Like when Joyce is handcuffed, she says she has three children at home and begs for mercy. Joyce is always so warm-hearted, I love her.

The whole Satan thing Jason believes in. We love a little drama and Jason definetly called it the second he went onto that Basketball field and gave us a little speech before the match. When Patrick dies, he goes on a rampage and explains this weird incident as a satanistic sacrifice and I can't tell you why but I just love this. He doesn't know anything about the upside down. He is just a lost young man who saw something unexplainable and nobody wants to listen. Why not explain something that's scientifically impossible with a myth? It's what every culture does. It's human. And it causes a lot more stress because now, they are all on a run and have two problems to fix. One is fixable in sight but the whole town believeing they are vessels from satan is a whole new, more political and societal problem. I am excited to see how this will work out.

Next, we have Steve and Robin. The iconic duo. I love these two. Robin is so smart, she just needs the right spotlight and Steve calling himself "their babysitter" is hilarious. And this may be an unpopular opinion because Nancy and Jonathan are epic, but I like Nancy with Steve. I kinda liked it in season one when Steve was not a total douchbag, he had his moments, and I like it even more now that he has grown. Nancy has changed. So much so, that going back to Jonathan may even hold her back. I feel like they grew apart. Maybe they will find their way back but right now, I'm on the NancyxSteve ship.

My issues with Stranger Things season 4

I have to say, this won't be shorter than the things I liked because there are some things in writing that I can't agree with. They make sense but then they don't and I am lost.

First of all, it makes sense El is sad and angry at the world. Her life is shit, really, and I think telling Mike a different truth made the real one easier when she was alone. School is hell for her and a different reality, a reality you'd love to be true can be soothing but it makes reality so much more suffocating to a point when you can't breathe any more. It's why she explodes and hits Angela with her skate.

Mike and El were always about not lying, El herself always says "friends don't lie" but she's going against her principles and straight up lies to Mike, knowing he is not there to see how much she suffers. Suffering alone is just not any option, Will knows that but can't reach her. El is basically pushing everyone aside, feeling like an outcast and it never reached this extent before. She isolated herself before, was irationally angry at others and hurt innocent people. But it was never that far. And Mike doesn't make it better. The fight was really important and it showed all the insecurities they both have. Mike is not well with emotions and El has too much of them, it's all understandable but I somehow don't get their whole drama. I don't get how it could go this far, how Mike acts like he did in season one. Hasn't he grown one bit? The last time he blames El was in season one. He screamed "what did you do" as well and he makes the same mistake. I just don't want to see it because it doesn't make sense to me why he would talk to El like that when he knows her so much better now.

I think Mike finds himself again when El is arrested and they go and try to find her. Here comes the next problem: their story just ended. Jonathan, Will, Mike and Argyle are on the run, try to figure out what the Nina project is and they are so important characters (Mike is the original protagonist) but they are hardly seen? They have like 10 scenes and then that's it. Nothing happens on their way once they hit the road and the imbalance of storytelling starts.

We have El returning to "Papa" which I deteste because why is this man still alive? She is given a choice but doesn't have one. When she walks away, implicating she says no, she is being anaesthetized. After that she agrees to all of it, desperate to get her powers back. And I'm totally on dr. Owens' side here because El is really just traumatized and needs to be away from it all. Unhappiness can cause much more damage to powers and the will to life than dr. Brenner thinks. El might be strong but there's always a limit and she didn't ever take a rest. He is pushing her, following a goal we can't see.

As you can see, I don't like the way they bring back season 1 because season 4 has moved on so much further.

Let me tell you, there's something else I dislike very much. It's the imbalance of storytelling. The roadtrip is barely mentioned, El has the brainwash going on and the two most viewed storylines are Hopper and Eddie which I find weird because they are all equally important. The priorities of the characters have suddenly changed and I don't know why. Hopper's story and rescue is way too long. We didn't need this back and forth for hours. And upopular opinion: I don't like Eddie that much. He is freaked out, I know, but he is kinda incompetent and slows them down and he looks like someone who can't live on his own...

And here, the most unpopular opinion ever because I haven't met anyone who agrees with me: I don't like that Hopper is still alive. There, I said it but stay with me, I'll explain. See, I am in general someone who says she didn't need season 4 to happen because season 3 was so hyped up, I feared they couldn't recreate that. I was right, they didn't. But that's not it. I personally think the ending of season 3 is a proper ending. It's a small open ending but most things are settled there. Billy died and Hopper did as well, both for the better cause. It would have stayed as heroic as that was, if the show would have just ended and their deaths saved the world. Because now it's like Billy died for nothing because the upside down still messes with the reality and the fact Hopper didn't die, means the gate is not fully closed. They did all of this for nothing. And I don't like it. The fact Hopper lives, is not logical to me because everyone else in that room vanished. Why didn't he? Even if he fell down, he was still in the same room... doesn't add up to me.

As you can see, I had a lot to say about this season and I only checked it out because I was curious to be honest. But let's see what's about to happen in five weeks

[creepypasta-archive]

Jeff the Killer vs Homicidal Liu: Confrontation

by DarknessTeddyBear

The only brother vs brother story i've found on the internet, this is a short tale finally making both Jeff and Liu (with Sully) collide. This short story however reveals a new aspect of both characters that will make the delight of some fangirls and will probably irk some due to how it's written.

As set up on the canonical timeline this serves as the payoff for a buildup of grief and guilt

CW// half-reclaimed homophobic slurs, trauma, death, misrepresented DID/MPD

Click below to read the original unedited story

No... He couldn’t be staring at his brother’s face right now. He SHOULDN’T be staring at his brother right now! And yet, somehow, there he was.

As Jeff had approcahed the graveyeard he recognised very well by now, he was shocked into silence and stillness by the presence of the young man leaning against the gravestone he had gone to see. Liu... was waiting for him.

“Liu?” Jeff called out at the figure he saw, eyes travelling up and down the now late-teenage body of the boy he remembered killing brutally.

Since not too long ago, Jeff had realised how much he had regretted what he had done. His family, maybe not. His parents were never on his side, never there to listen, never understood. Liu was his best friend, took the fall for him, did everything for him on so many occasions! His madness had driven him to seeing even his only friend, his brother, as one of the judgemental prick that he#d have to deal with had he remained and returned to school once he had somewhat recovered- he had never ffecovered from losing his sibling... or murdering him.

“It’s been a long time, Jeff,” he heard a somethat flat voice comign from Liu. It truly had been years. Liu possessed a vice that Jeff almost didn’t recognise, but he was sure that it was probably the same for him too. “Have you missed me, brother?”

Jeff was still stunned, watching as the other boy hopped down from his place, sitting on his own gravestone, not saying anything yet, in both confusion and relief at the same time.

“H-how? How are you ere?!!” Jeffrey yelled, his voice breaking part way through his declaration.

Liu stepped closer, the silver glow of the moonlight falling upon his face, revealing the deep anf still bloody stitches that ran across his face, over his nose and from the corner of his mouth up to his cheek. The half-smile Jeff had carved into his face before fleeing from their family home had been sealed shut, making it difficult for him to make out the slight smirk appearing on his brother’s face as his bright, green eyes landed on Jeff.

“I like that expression, Jeffrey,” he spoke in that same flat voice, “you look so shocked to see me. It was your old friend the Slenderman that stitched me up.”

“Slendy? That fucking octopus?! Wait, why?! How are you alive right now?!”

Liu chuckled, his voice low, his eyes darkening slightly. “Yes, Jeff. He knew that I had some unfinished business with you... Or at least, someone did.”

Jeff wasn’t following what he was saying. “What? Then who? What business? Aw, shit, Liu, please don;t be so pissed, please! I regret what I did I real-”

“YOU FUCKING LIAR!” Finally, there was a tone in Liu’s voice, he sounded livid, his eyes darkening again, almost looking like they were turning completely black instead of the lively green. His face... it didn’t even look like Liu anymore. As the growling he was producing turned into a quiet laugh, Jeff continued to just stand still, watching his lost brother throw his head back and laugh maniacly. “LIU!” the stitched-up man screamed to the darkened sky, confusing Jeff even further. “LIU WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, JEFFREY! NEITHER WILL I! I WILL PROTECT LIU! I’LL KILL YOU!” He screeched, lunging towards Jeff, producing a long knife from inside his coat posket. Jeff produced his own knife, his reflexes kicking in as he blocked the attack, both boys tumbling to the ground.

“Liu, stop! What the hell are you talking about?!”

“It’s Sully! I’m protecting Liu from yoouu!!”

“Then leave my brother the fuck alone!” Jeff managed to puch ‘Sully’ off himself, both standing up in fighting stance.

For a moment, Liu’s shoulder’s hitched, and as he looked up, his face looked.... he looked devastated.

“Jeff,” he spoke and Jeff could tell that his brother was back, “why’d you do it?”

“Liu... I- I don’t know....... I wasn’t in my right mind at all. I was losing my mind!”

“You lost it, Jeff,” the younger boy’s eyebrows furrowed, her teeth gritting, some of the stitches in the corner of his mouth seeming to split just a little. “Why’d you do it, Jeff?” He began to yell again, all hints of sadness replaced with rage. “I went to fucking JAIL for you! You were my best friend!”

His face darkened again... And out emerged Sully once more, the alter of the stitched boy growling to his other personality.

“I’m trying to save you, Liu... I’ll get the answers.”

With that, he moved to stab Jeff again. Jeff grabbed his wrist, beinding his arm behind his back until he dropped the blade, gritting his teeth as ahe growled. “I’m not gonna fucking kill you, alright?”

“You already DID KILL LIU!” Sully continued to scream, even as he broke free of Jeff’s grip, spun and punched him in the face. Jeff felt the sting in his face as he stumbled backwards, the same pain then reaching his stomacch as Sully kicked him in the gut. He held his middle, looking up at his attacker.

“WHY, JEFF?! WHY DID YOU KILL YOUR OWN FUCKING BROTHER?!”

Jeff didn’t say anything.

“BECAUSE HE STOOD UP FOR YOU? BECAUSE HE WAS MORE POPULAR? BECAUSE HE’S QUEER? IS IT THAT, JEFF?! DIDN’T LIKE YOUR BROTHER WAS QUEER/!!”

“That’s not the reason why, I’ve already told you, I regret this!”

“regret doesn’t take it all back,” Sully sneered, his eye twitching as he quickly lunged to grab the knife he had dropped. Jeff didn’t pick up his own, still standing defenceless in front of the granite stones lining the graveyard. He sprinted forward, aiming to slach at Jeff repeatedly.

In a split second, Jeff found himself being jumped on, but it didn’t... it didn’t feel like hed been stabbed. AS He fell backwards, landing on his back on the ground, he looked down to see his btoher clinging to him, the knife once again ddiscarded on the ground.

“I don’t want this, Sully,” Liu muttered, “I don’t hate him that much...”

Jeff saw Liu’s shaling hands on his hoodie and brough his own white hand up to the back of his head.

“Liu, are you back?”

Liu nodded, rolling off his brohter, lying on his back beside him. “Sorry, Jeff.”

“No, Liu... I deserve it after all I did to you.”

“Fuck that.” Liu nudged him. “I’m alive... Sorry I didn’t come to see you sooner.”

“Nah, had you seen me years ago.... I don’t know. I probably wouldnt have bad the chance to realis just how much I actually missed you, huh?”

Liu smiled only a little, fighting back the screams of his alter, doing his best to remain in charge of this stitched-up body he now had.

“Are you really queer?” Jeff suddenly asked, making Liu laugh properly.

“Yeah.”

“Well congrats, bro.”

They had a lot of time to get sed to one another again, Sully never really calming down in Jeff’s presence. But Liu was happy, and that was enough for him. They continued their murderous sprees with the rest of their newfound superhuman friends, the proxies, slenderman, and the others they’d found. Jeff never reconciled with Jane, but he didn’t care about that. And no, he wasn’t disgusting and have a secret crush on her, but he approved of the oy his brother seemed to like; another man their age who suffered deep stitches too, Rowan. The brother’s had ofound one another, and would remain close by one another until their days came to an end.

[kar-krashew]

life could be a dream [AO3]

Alec navigates first dates, second dates, and general panic, while accidentally making a friend along the way. He's not sure how to feel about any of that, but it seems to be going okay.

Rated T for language and implied sexual content.

@arsenic-creator for you, my lovely ❤ This is an interlude, of sorts, between the Cars AU and the planned Cars 2 AU :D

Alec is ninety percent sure whoever came up with the concept of first dates was a sadist; who else would devise a concept so nerve-wracking and excruciating? Currently, he’s in a random hotel in Spiral Springs, aptly named as he’s spent the last hour spiraling into insanity as he tries to figure out what normal people wear on first dates with people like Magnus Bane. He can’t even call Izzy, because she’s off on some “important work trip” with Jace. (That basically means that they’re going to be mysterious and vague during phone calls the whole time— and that’s only if they answer. He knows better than to ask.)

Thus, Alec has two options: suffer, and show up to his first date with Magnus in his normal shitty worn-out jeans and shirt, or suffer more, and ask someone in town for help. Unfortunately, the only other people available to him are Raphael (Alec is pretty sure he’d be found dead the next morning if he asked Raphael about dating advice), Ragnor (the man dresses like a reclusive British hermit, Alec really doesn’t think asking him will help), and Simon.

Shit.

“Do I really need someone else’s help?” Alec asks his own reflection in the mirror, “I look fine, right? And it’s not like Simon’s got a better idea of how these dates work.”

He looks great, honestly! Probably. He’s fine, as long as he ignores the suspicious fraying of his collar and the faded white patches on his jeans, and okay, he lied, he does not look fine.

Also, Simon’s had like three pretty steady girlfriends already. The kid must be doing something right.

“Shit,” Alec groans again— out loud this time, for intended effect— before taking a deep breath and grabbing his phone.

Fine. If it takes talking to Simon, he’s going to talk to Simon. Besides, how bad could it be?

---

Really bad. Like, really fucking bad; Alec had forgotten how annoying Simon is, and he’s regretting this decision wholeheartedly now.

“No one’s really asked me for dating advice before, you know,” Simon says from where he’s rummaging through Alec’s suitcase, “And of the people I would expect to ask me, you’re, like, last on that list. Not in a bad way or anything, it’s just weird, you know?”

Alec does know. This is the third time Simon has said this.

“Sure, totally,” he grits out, watching Simon carelessly toss his neatly folded clothing onto the hotel bed. Alec is going to have to reorganize the whole case after this is over, because these sorts of things have systems and the kid is ruining it. This was definitely more trouble than it’s worth.

“Yep. Anyway, wow, I’m no expert, but you really don’t have a lot of options in here.” Simon whistles, pauses for a minute, then upends the entire suitcase onto the mattress before Alec can intercept. God, Alec’s going to strangle him. “That’s better! So, you seem to only have, like, one decent button-down, and those always look nice. Maybe pair it with a tighter pair of jeans? Your jacket would look nice with this, too, though I’d leave it out in this weather.” Simon tosses the articles of clothing towards Alec as he speaks, hitting Alec squarely in the face, but he’s already been distracted by something else before he can register the glare being sent his way.

“Okay,” he says after another moment, “Show me what you got.”

Alec’s skeptical, to be frank, but he decides to indulge Simon anyway, so he heads to the bathroom and tries on the outfit and—

Oh.

Simon’s really not bad at this thing. Izzy probably could’ve picked something a little more flattering, but this is way better than whatever Alec was wearing earlier; he didn’t even know he’d remembered to bring this shirt when he’d packed his bags.

“Hey, man, you look great!” Simon beams. “I wasn’t totally sure that would work out, but you look awesome! Magnus is going to love it.”

“Thanks, Lewis,” Alec replies, and he’s surprised to realize he means it. Simon’s grin stretches out wider, somehow, and Alec doesn’t even feel that annoyed.

(Oh no, does this mean he tolerates Simon now?)

“It’s gonna go great, Alec, don’t worry about it,” Simon responds, oblivious to Alec’s internal turmoil— Alec is seriously having a breakdown over the fact that Simon has somehow made it onto the short list of people Alec doesn’t want to punch on sight, because what the fuck does that say about Alec’s standards? His reputation is on the line. “Magnus has lived here for a while, which means I know him well enough to tell you that you make him really happy.” Alec stares at him blankly.

“I— That means a lot, actually,” he manages, then they both just kind of. . . stand there for a minute. Alec isn’t sure how to process the fact that they seem to be having a moment when he was preparing to initiate anti-Lewis measures just seconds ago, so it’s almost a relief when Simon ruins it with the next thing that comes out of his mouth.

“I feel like a proud mother sending her kid to prom. Do I need to give you a sex talk? No one actually gave me that speech when I was younger, but I did improv in highschool, so I could probably work something out.”

Scratch whatever he said earlier; Alec hates him.

---

The trauma Simon inflicts on him is almost completely worth it when Alec sees the way Magnus checks him out for a moment. The other’s standing outside the entrance to some obscure Chinese restaurant, smiling warmly and turning Alec’s knees to jello with his low-cut blue tunic and shimmery eyeliner (not helped by the fact that he has managed to find pants that are even tighter than his usual leather ones— Alec’s going to die of a heart attack before they can even enter the establishment).

“Hey,” he says, trying not to look stupidly overwhelmed at Magnus’s answering smile, “You, uh, you look amazing.”

“I could say the same, Alexander. This shirt is definitely doing you favors,” Magnus replies, and Alec blushes.

“Would it be completely unattractive if I admitted Simon picked it out for me?” he asks, half-serious, but Magnus just laughs, taking Alec’s hand in his own.

“Of course not. Remind me to thank him next time we meet.”

The rest of the night goes by in a blur: Alec’s sure that the restaurant and everything was amazing, but it’s hard to notice things like ambiance and food when one has a front row seat to the wonder that is the gentle tilt of Magnus’s mouth. He spends the night being regaled with far-fetched anecdotes in between shameless bouts of flirting and giggling, and it’s nice, it’s really nice; alone, away from cameras and parents, just the two of them tucked away in a cozy little corner booth together.

It’s kind of the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him.

Maybe first dates, Alec thinks, lying in bed later that night, the taste of lip gloss still faint on his tongue, aren’t too bad after all.

---

“Oh my gosh, are you going on dates and making friends? I’m so proud, my baby brother is all grown up,” Izzy sniffs over the phone, “Do we need to talk about safe sex?”

“Why is that the conclusion everyone draws? Do I look that repressed?” Alec groans, thinking back to Simon’s earlier pursuit to educate him on the carnal pleasures of the world. He’d managed to cut the kid off after the first use of the word “penetrative,” but it had been enough to fuel his nightmares for a solid two days afterwards. “Also, I’m older than you.”

“Details,” Izzy dismisses. “Speaking of which, spill! How was it? I still can’t believe you ran off to Spiral Springs without telling anyone. Mom must be absolutely livid, I just wish I was there to see it.”

Alec rolls his eyes, even though she can’t see it over the phone— the sentiment is there, and that’s what matters. “You would be here to see it if you weren’t off doing lord-knows-what in god-knows-where every other week with Jace,” he replies.

“Import-export business, Alec,” Izzy says, “I’ve told you this.”

“Right, the same way you’ve told me you can cook without poisoning everyone. We both know it’s a load of bullshit.”

“We’re getting off topic!” his sister exclaims, which is Izzy-speak for “We’re not talking about this for another year or so,” as she artfully changes the subject. “I believe I asked for specifics about your date with Magnus, hermano. You are not getting out of this.”

Luckily for her, Alec is easily distracted by even the vaguest thought or mention of Magnus, because he’s a total fucking sap and Izzy knows exactly how to use it to her advantage. He would say he hates her, but, well: he’s thinking about Magnus now. That’s infinitely more important, obviously.

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he sighs. The exhale’s got this kind of pathetically lovesick quality to it, but he barrels on, praying Izzy won’t comment on it. “We ate, then he walked me back to the hotel and kissed me at the door before he left. It was amazing. God, Izzy, I like him so much.”

In a perfect, normal world, this would be an opportune time for Izzy to realize that Alec is kind of horribly vulnerable and honest when it comes to Magnus, and for her to be gentle and supportive about it. However, because normalcy is a pipe dream that Alec’s siblings are hellbent on crushing, he is treated instead to an inhumanly high-pitched squeal, followed by frantic shuffling before a voice that sounds suspiciously like Jace’s floods the phone speaker. Given that the most-definitely-Jace-voice is currently yelling something about condoms and endowment and the logistics of same-sex intercourse, Alec decides that hanging up is the appropriate course of action here.

(God, they’re the worst. He’s never going to talk to them again. Or at least, he’s not going to pick up their calls for the next week. Okay, maybe, like 3 days. Probably.)

Great, he thinks, mentally patting himself on the back. Now that that’s settled, he can get back to other matters, like fucking losing his mind because he had totally forgotten to ask Izzy how to plan a second date so he’s now screwed but he’s definitely not calling her back especially now that he knows Jace has her phone and that means he’s been left to his own resources to plan the perfect second date for Magnus and he’s going to have to do it all by himself and he’s going to fail spectacularly because he’s never had to do anything like this before and no one can help him unless—

Unless. . .

“Shit,” Alec says— out loud, for intended effect again, as a horrible flash of deja vu strikes him— which is how, minutes later, Simon ends up sprawled out on the hotel bed next to him at 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon.

Alec should really start looking into better coping mechanisms before this becomes a problem.

“Okay, so the first thing about this is that you’re approaching it all wrong,” Simon says, sitting up to peer at Alec over his glasses. “Dates are about spending time together, not about being perfect, so don’t stress! What did you initially have in mind?”

That’s the issue: Alec didn’t have anything in mind, because when he had said that he’d organize the next date, he wasn’t exactly operating on full brain function. Impaired thought processes tend to be a common side effect around Magnus, now that Alec thinks about it— he should probably get that checked.

“I really have no clue,” Alec groans. “There’s so much that could go wrong! What if I take him somewhere that reminds him of his ex? Or I stumble and spill slushie all over his shoes and they’re brand new designer ones and he ends things with me on the spot? Or he hates the food there and realizes that my tastes are shit and he decides to cut his losses instead of being forced to eat shitty food everyday that he hangs out with me? Or—”

“Alec, jeez!” Simon interrupts. “Man, you’re kind of a mess about this, huh?”

Okay, rude. Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean it needs to be pointed out. Alec just groans louder, and lets his head fall heavily against the headboard. “I’m so fucked.”

Simon shakes his head, standing up to pose solemnly. “Don’t lose hope yet, young padawan! Come on, you gotta have something. What do you know he likes?” he says, and because Alec is a sucker when it comes to talking about Magnus (as established earlier), the tactic totally works.

“Okay, well,” he starts, “I know he likes expensive wines with names I can’t pronounce. He likes late nights and old classical music, but his ringtone changes every week to a different Britney Spears pop song. He’s kind of a horrible romantic, but I really like that about him. I. . . like a lot of things about him.”

Simon blinks for a moment, and Alec hurries to wipe the besotted smile that’s inevitably found its way onto his mouth. It’s too late, though— Simon’s already grinning back at him, looking too excited for his own good. “That’s so cheesy,” he coos, “But in, like, totally a good way, I promise.” He pats Alec’s shoulder, once, then stands up. “I think I have an idea of what would work. Any ideas in terms of the venue?”

“Oh,” Alec says after a moment. He’s still thinking about Magnus, which means he’s thinking about their previous meetings, which means he’s thinking about—

“Yeah,” he replies, “I have the perfect place in mind.”

---

“So, where are we headed?” Magnus asks. He’s beautiful like this, in the light of the passing streetlights, silver chains glinting like stars, silk tunic flowing like water, hair mussed from the wind. If Alec didn’t have a plan for this evening, he’d probably do something very dumb like slamming the breaks on the car and kissing him senseless. It’s not the first time he’s had the thought, not by a long shot.

Maybe he can fit that part later into the evening.

“You’ll see,” Alec replies, beaming a little at the pout it brings on Magnus’s— stupidly kissable— mouth. “It’s meant to be a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises,” Magnus frowns, but he still leans forward as they pass by a familiar waterfall. Alec can see the moment he processes what that waterfall means, his face lighting up completely as he does so. “Are we going to the Dumont?”

Alec shrugs, trying to be mysterious, but he’s grinning too wide for it to mean anything but a yes. It’s fine; if ruining the surprise means that he gets to see Magnus’s bright smile an extra few moments earlier than planned, it’s totally worth it.

When they finally pull up next to the old sign, Magnus has already noticed the changes to the hotel. “Oh,” he gasps, stepping out of the car, “Alexander.”

Lights are strung up around the outdoor courtyard, with a singular table in the center, a candle and plates arranged across its surface. Simon’s standing there, dressed in a black dress shirt, grinning at the two of them as music plays softly from some unknown corner. It’s horribly cheesy and romantic, and, judging by the way Magnus is excitedly clutching Alec’s hand as they approach the table, it’s worked like a charm.

Alec could marry Simon after this; the kid’s a fucking genius.

“Good evening, sirs!” Simon grins, “Welcome to the Hotel Dumont. We’re so glad you could join us this evening.” He bows, pulling out a chair from behind him, and Magnus laughs delightedly.

“This is absolutely lovely!” he exclaims, settling down. “Did you come up with all this?”

Alec blushes, sitting down right beside him. “Well, Simon did most of the work,” he replies, and Simon shakes his head.

“He’s totally lying; he did, like, all of the decorations and set up, and most of the plan, too. I’m just glad to be of help, man.” He hands them menus, then steps back. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone for a moment while you decide. Don’t do anything too scandalous!”

Alec rolls his eyes— because really, what could they get up to sitting like this?— but then Magnus places his hand on Alec’s thigh as he leans closer and okay, maybe there’s a lot they could get up to, and maybe Alec is now thinking about all those things in a setting he really should not be, and maybe he should’ve let Izzy give him that talk after all.

“Alexander,” Magnus smiles, leaning closer still, “All of this is amazing, I don’t know how to thank you enough.” He tilts his face up invitingly, and Alec’s helpless to the pull of it, pressing his lips against the other’s. It’s supposed to be just a light brush, but then Magnus shifts nearer and opens his mouth up a little further and fuck, Alec’s libido is suddenly making a desparate appearance in this very public locale. That’s an issue, probably. Whatever. He can’t really bring himself to care right now.

“Mm,” he hums between kisses, “we should really decide on what to eat— hm, before Simon comes back,” but then he chases after Magnus’s mouth right after saying it, so that undermines the message a little. Though no one can really say it’s his fault: kissing Magnus is temptation incarnate, and Alec is a weak, weak man.

They do, eventually, unfortunately, break apart, which is exactly when Simon finally shows up with some expensive drink that he’d sworn Magnus would like. It seems to fill the has-an-impossible-to-pronounce-name quota that Alec had mentioned earlier, so he’s rolling with it. He’s also rolling with the menu, because Alec had planned on pre-planned meals for this thing, so he has no clue where Simon had managed to get proper menus with a selection of food (though the Spanish-themed cuisine on the menu and the passive-aggressive text he receives the next day from Raphael might be able to explain that).

Simon’s left them and they’re finally finished with their courses when some even sappier song starts playing on the speakers, and Alec, being a total dork, stands up and invites Magnus to dance with him. Alec’s kind of shit at dancing, so he’s not sure why he does that, but they end up pressed against each other, swaying slowly, and he can’t even regret it, not even when Magnus laughs at him for stepping on his toes.

It’s perfect. Alec has no clue how he’s going to live up to this on future dates. He’s also, like, halfway to proposing on the spot.

“I reiterate my statement from earlier: this is absolutely lovely, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs after a while. His head’s pressed against Alec’s shoulder, so the words brush Alec’s ear softly as he speaks. “I have quite a bit of planning to do for our next date if this is the standard we’re setting already,” he teases.

“We could eat takeout on my couch while watching some boring regency-era movie and I’d still love it,” Alec replies bashfully, “I got a little nervous this time and went really big, but I promise you don’t have to go this hard to impress me.”

“And you thought you did?” Magnus asks. He pulls away slightly, looking Alec in the eyes. “Darling, the same goes for me. This is stunning, but I genuinely just like you and your company, and that takeout thing sounds more than enjoyable. Though we might have to revisit your opinion on regency-era movies.”

Alec grins. “Why, Mr. Bane, don’t tell me you enjoy watching such long-winded pieces of media, filled to the brim with such stuffy, superfluous dialogue?”

Magnus gasps, seemingly affronted. “How dare you!” he exclaims, “It’s about the drama, the yearning! I’m sure you just haven’t seen the right ones. Next time, I’m making you watch my entire collection.” Alec laughs in response, and it seems to soften something in Magnus’s eyes, because he pulls close again, tilting their foreheads together.

“You know, Mr. Lightwood,” he murmurs, “I’m not the sort of gentleman to invite someone into my home on only our second evening together, but I’m sure I could make an exception for someone of your stature, especially given the amount of time we’ve spent together outside of these official meetings.”

Oh fuck, this is really happening. “How scandalous, Mr. Bane,” Alec somehow manages, then Magnus is giggling and kissing him, and yeah, Alec is so on board with this plan. He’s even more on board with the plan when Magnus leads him to the car, and then leads him up the stairs to his loft.

He’s not even annoyed when he wakes up to Simon’s strangely supportive “Congrats on the sex!” text, because there’s a man lying against his chest who he thinks he could easily fall in love with, and literally nothing else matters right now. It’s him and Magnus against the world: everything else can wait.

(Alec replies to Simon with a single middle finger emoji. He likes the kid, but Simon doesn’t need to know that.)

(The Star Wars movie marathon the two of them end up doing a week later kind of gives it away anyway.)

[hyperfixationtimego]

Alright we’re trying this angst thing again

Diamond Brothers Angst because I said so

Both Daiya and Mondo have huge self esteem issues bc of the crash

Both think stuff along the lines of what the fuck I could have prevented that

Neither Daiya nor Mondo can sleep very well because when they hear vehicles driving past and the occasional screeching tires they’re back at the scene of the accident

They hear a semi truck rumbling past? Suddenly neither of the brothers remember how to move or breathe properly

They both survived the crash but they were both injured severely bc fuck dude that was a truck that hit them

The Crazy Diamonds witnessed the whole thing and they were Worried™️

And we all know how the Owadas hate being vulnerable

Neither of the brothers could actively ride their motorcycles for a long time after the crash because they couldn’t handle it emotionally

They played off their mental recovery time as time in the hospital

Daiya made Mondo promise not to get back on his motorcycle, much less the road, until he was 100% sure that he was prepared to handle it because what if there’s another freak accident that neither of them have control over

Mondo made Daiya promise the exact same thing because He Cares™️

Mondo has reoccurring nightmares about the crash and often sees Daiya dead in those nightmares

The gang shows up in the nightmares too and they’ve all been hit and it’s all Mondo’s fault and he couldn’t be a good leader because he wasn’t strong enough and why couldn’t he just be more like his brother god fucking dammit

Sometimes he sees Taka or Chihiro in place of Daiya and the Diamonds and that Absolutely Terrifies Him™️

Daiya has reoccurring thoughts about hijacking a truck to hit the driver who hurt him and his little brother

He wants them to feel all the same pain and more that they put the Diamond Brothers through

Daiya has breakdowns over this because even if he is a gang leader, he would not go that far

cue the Am I A Bad Person Complex™️

Mondo does not let himself stim

He doesn’t think it’s manly and it definitely doesn’t fit the Tough Guy™️ act

This leads to worsened focus and next thing you know he and Daiya are having a yelling match at home because if Mondo’s grades drop any lower he’ll be expelled soon and Daiya just wants the best for his brother but nothing works out the way it was planned

One time Mondo received a popsicle stick and paper heart from Taka

He was extremely happy

When he got back to his dorm he was that happy that he was shaking and then oh shit

Mondo broke it

He snapped the popsicle sticks in half

the note that Taka wrote,, it got ripped in the process

Mondo full on sobbed over this for an hour at the least

Like

Actual

Real

Tears

He broke something that Taka— not just his bf, but his best friend— had worked so hard on to make just for him and he fucking broke it like a shit for brains idiot

Mondo is terrified of hurting his friends

Because what if he forgets to take his adhd meds one day and his emotional dysregulation is all fucked up and he has an outburst again and actually hurts his friends

Or what if he takes 2+ doses by accident and focuses too hard and is left staring at one (1) spot and everyone hates him and what if they think he’s a creep

Mondo hates going out of his dorm at night because what if someone else is out and they have a flashlight and now they’re pointing it at him and it’s bright and those are headlights and that’s

that’s his brother

on the ground

not moving

Mondo will start shaking and he’ll break down hyperventilating or freeze on the spot

Either way, he hates being vulnerable

Whaddaya think? :D was that enough angst?

also can you tell that i kin Daiya on the dl bc i too got hit by a moving vehicle to save my young mer sibling from being hit /lh but also srs lmfo

HEY TINK??? HEY TINK????????

GodDAMN make me cry over this shit oKAY-

also sorry this took ✨forever✨ I had to gather my Thoughts™️ and my brain did not want to work today 😌

also before we get into my things, tw for trauma (obviously), unhealthy coping mechanisms, underage smoking/drug relapse/smoking as a crutch, and suicidal ideation (passive, but still there)

First of all, y e a h oh my god?? There is literally so much internalized guilt for both of them,,,,,like they rlly do have episodes sometimes where they just. Play over the events of what lead up to the crash in their heads and fixate on what they could have done differently,,,,,even though in the moment they both did their best? Like “well, I shouldn’t have taken us down this street” or “if I had acted quicker, maybe it wouldn’t have happened” and.....yeah those thoughts really fuck with them, y’know?

and 100% that unexpected/overwhelming vehicle noises and/or presences are nearly debilitating. Honestly, I imagine that Mondo can’t go hang out with Leon and Taka or whoever else if said people are hanging out in Kaz’s workshop. Owada’s only ever been in there once and immediately had to leave when he heard Kazuichi starting an engine he was working on. Not to mention being surrounded by a shit ton of vehicles, even if they were idle, had kept him on-edge the entire thirty seconds he was able to handle it.

They both deal with a lot of phantom pain, as well. Like something triggers them and suddenly, even if they’re able to remain in the moment and keep conscious of their surroundings, they somehow feel every ache, every twinge of pain, every breaking bone, or bruised patch of skin that they felt on that day. It’s a lot more prominent in Daiya than it is with Mondo, but they do both experience it!

And neither one lets the other know when they’re feeling like shit or having an episode because 😌 Daiya. wants to be strong. for his little brother. and Mondo. sees his brother basically functioning like a typical person. and figures that there’s something wrong with him. because he can’t get over what happened.

Takemichi is absolute shit with Emotions and being vulnerable or getting people to open up to him, but he’s like..........internally these bitches are Not Okay what the fuck am I supposed to do about it???? So he kind of...tries to hint to both of them that he’s worried? Without making it obvious or embarrassing them, but he’s like.......fuck these assholes.......making me be the one to make them realize they need help goddamnit........

And michi exhibiting a change in behavior is pretty 👀 because. it’s michi I mean he’s not just gonna change the way he talks in front of u for nothing, u know? So both Daiya and Mondo are actually able to pick up on it, although their reactions differ pretty greatly.

Like Daiya’s first thought is “wow, he’s worried, that’s really sweet of him. Better convince him everything’s okay.”

Meanwhile Mondo’s is “wow, he’s worried. my stupid emotional turmoil is that obvious. he must think I’m some sorta fuckin idiot for not being able to get over it. or selfish. or both. yeah, probably both.”

Also I think Daiya’s pretty perceptive in general? Like he can Tell™️ that something’s going on with his brother, but........yeah emotional conversations....vulnerability......that’s rlly neither of their strong suits. + he also figures that if it were something mondo were really really really having trouble with, he would come talk to him!

And so Daiya has absolutely no concept of just how Not Good his brother is doing right now hbbvvvv

So he settles for being like “I’m just gonna stay strong and act like the memories and intrusive thoughts aren’t affecting me in any way because I want to be a good role model” (which. is not healthy obv)

oh g o d the nightmares

they are so horrible and vivid and concentrated at times that Mondo simply.....refuses to sleep. He’s exhausted, both mentally and physically, and yet he can’t bring himself to close his eyes because he knows what he’ll see if he does.

And of course it affects him to the point that his friends start to become worried. Like Taka notices a stark increase in tardiness or general absences, and, after an initial assumption that it was simply Mondo choosing not to care about his academics again, realized that there was probably a lot more going on than he realized. He really, really wanted to bring it up and let his boyfriend know that he’ll always be there for him no matter what, but he couldn’t quite figure out how to articulate it properly. The farthest he gets is with the question, “is everything okay?”

And as much as Mondo wants to respond to him by saying that no, in fact, everything is not okay, everything sucks and everything hurts and he’s tired and he hates himself and sometimes he wishes that the crash had killed him, but that’s selfish so he should shut up- he just.....can’t bring himself to open himself up like that. Yes, he and Ishi are dating, so logically he should be able to tell him all this, but.....it’s so much. It’s too much. Too much to think, too much to feel, let alone try to explain. So he shuts himself up with a quick, curt, “Yeah.”

And....Taka knows he’s lying. He’s not sure how he knows, but he does. And it hurts to see someone he loves so much in such a state of anguish, and basically be unable to do anything about it because....how is he supposed to respond? What is he supposed to say? Navigating everyday interaction is difficult enough without having to improv something that could affect his partner’s mental health indefinitely. So....he does his best. Which isn’t enough, really, but it’s something.

“You can tell me anything.”

Mondo wants to believe him.

—

Another side of that same coin is Mondo skipping class a lot more than is typical for him. It’s almost always with Leon, but he’s also begun slipping away on his own, occasionally, as well, now.

And....y’know, at first, Leon thought it was super rad that Owada and he were skipping more! Like it used to be that Kuwata would offer for them to miss the next class, and Mondo’s usual answer would be ‘not today,’ and then Leon would keep bugging him about it until Mondo either gave in or told him to fuck off.

But....there’s just something about how it went from Leon being constantly shut down, to being told yes around the first few times the idea was brought up, to how, suddenly, Kuwata wasn’t even the one asking, anymore. It’s....depressing? Uncomfortable?

There’s also the fact that hanging out while they’re cutting just....isn’t as fun as it used to be? Leon’ll crack jokes or come up with stupid dares, and Mondo’s responses will be noncommittal at best. And Leon’s had enough experience with sleep deprivation to know it in his friends when he sees it.

He’s never been put in this situation before - usually it’s kuwata having some sort of stupid episode and usually it’s owada who’ll tell him to chill the fuck out and think rationally about things, but....Mondo acts a lot different when he’s upset than Leon does. He smokes more. Cuts himself off from everyone. Doesn’t engage with anything.

It’s different with people like Toko, or Makoto, or Kaz, because Leon knows what they need. He knows whether or not they need vulnerability, or a physical presence, or tough love, or tactile grounding, or a willing ear or shoulder to cry on, but with Mondo......he just isn’t sure.

So Leon doesn’t comment.

——-

Chihiro’s probably the one to get him to open up about it ngl.

ANYWAY-

y e a h Daiya intrusive thoughts?????? fuck yeah???? absolutely??????

god yeah I rlly feel him on that ngl hbhdbdbdbbb

and MONDO DARLING 🥺

god okay it SUCKS because????? he doesn’t judge his friends for stimming????? Like he sees his friends fidgeting or repeating phrases or rocking back and forth and he’s like???? Hell yeah you go u funky kid ilysm

But when it comes to himself????? he’s like if I do anything aside from stay perfectly still, I’m weird and bad and a failure so I simply Will Not

he’s wrong but it doesn’t change the fact that he feels that way ❤️

hhhvhvvdd I’m also a slut for daiya doing his best as a makeshift parental figure,,,,,,,like fuck dude okay,,,,,,as an older sibling who also loves and cares about their younger sibs but often finds emotionally connecting with them to be difficult,,,,,,,,,mood??? And having all of that amplified by rlly being his younger bro's only support in his home life,,,,,,,like ok mr. owada go off

he feels a lot of pressure to get it right and make sure that Mondo's doing okay, so the grades really worry him. but, of course, grades are a touchy subject with mondo regardless, so as u said it devolves into arguments and yelling and a lot of defensiveness!!

and god okay,,,,,,,the heart rlly got me,,,,,,,like that hurt. it rlly hurt man okay damn

honestly??? I think that might be the thing that gets him to break. like that might be his final straw.

because when they meet up again, Ishi asks him about it and whether or not he liked it. And Mondo just.

fucking.

breaks.

down.

He’s shaking and he’s crying and there’s snot running down his nose and this is so ugly and so not manly but he can’t stop. he can’t stop. Because there is this sweet, gentle, kind, sweet, beautiful, darling, sweet man before him who did something so nice for him, something he didn’t deserve, and he destroyed it.

Like he destroys everything.

And so when Taka panics and asks him what’s wrong (yes Ishi gets worried that he did something bad and yes ishi also gets worried that his boyfriend didn’t like the present because hdbdvdvd kin 💛) owada just. spills everything. and he doesn’t even begin with the gift??? he starts with apologies upon apologies, many of them incoherent, and many of them with Mondo not even certain what he’s apologizing for, just that he knows he needs to

and ofc Taka is like o-o because wow ok

but after his initial shock, and after Mondo has thoroughly cried himself out and explained everything he could stand to explain at that point in time, Taka just......holds him. And strokes his face, brushing away the tears that have not yet dried, simply offering his body as a weight, as something for Mondo to ground himself with. And it works.

And Taka insists that Mondo has nothing to apologize for, only that he wishes Mondo would have told him what was going on sooner. Because he wants to help. And hearing that just gets Owada’s waterworks going all over again, but he’s still got Ishi there with him. He hasn’t scared him off.

And it’s more than enough.

—

and UGH yeah????? yes absolutely absolutely okay okay so,,,,,,,,mondo comorbid adhd/depression/anxiety

like sir 🤝

got me fucked up smh

honestly he’s probably not diagnosed with the depression or anxiety, either, until something like the incident with ishi prompts him to realize oh wow I’m not okay actually

so yes he 100% does???

he constantly has all of these what if situations swirling around in his brain about what might happen if he fucks up, or does something that he doesn’t qualify as fucking up in the moment, but leads to something awful or painful or harmful for someone else, and he’s just??????? g o d