#me personally when I don’t like something I’m not making huge threads about all the ways I hate it

[yannfredericks]

being online rn is such a fucking nightmare oh my god!!!

[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[treysimp]

You can ignore this if you're not taking requests but your recent Ace x reader fic got me thinking...what about Ace and Floyd being wingmen for Jamil with reader?? Cause they're the basketball club who does anything but basketball 😂

Backboard - GN!Reader/Jamil Viper (Explicit)

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Reader’s body not described nor are pronouns used (things are described as going in holes without specifics lol), mutual pining, grinding, heavy petting, kissing, dirty talk, talk of penetration, ask to tag for more.

Words: 3.3k

Silly author’s notes: Hey so this was probably a fluff request but uhhhh it became uhh smutty by accident so... oops?

Want more TWST? Here’s my masterlist!

“Prefect!” Yelled a familiar voice behind you. Before you could turn around to see who it was, you felt two different hands clap onto each of your shoulders.

With a blur of teal and ginger, you felt yourself being swept away to who knows where while Ace and Floyd bicker about their club.

“So I was sayin’...” Ace coughed stiffly, glaring at Floyd as his jaw tightened “...what was I saying, Floyd?”

“Oh!” Floyd nodded, “You were saying…” He tilted his head to the side in a look of confusion and not-at-all-subtly was mouthing words to Ace. 

Snapping your gaze to your redheaded friend, you missed the first part of the sentence, but you could make out Ace mouthing the words ‘you idiot’.

“I’m clearly missing something.” You say, trying to dig in your heels to stop your two troublemaking friends from continuing to orchestrate your kidnapping.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that!” Floyd whined, “We just wanted you to watch us practice! Finals are coming up and Jamil’s been on our asses about improving.” 

“And that involves me how?” You say, crossing your arms but allowing them to start walking you again. You had a huge crush on the hardworking and clever Jamil, not that you would ever admit it to anyone. If the smirks on Ace and Floyd’s faces were anything to go by, though... you might not have been as subtle as you hoped. 

“He’s nicer to us when you’re watching!” Ace said with a grin, “Come on, don’t you want to do this for your besties?” 

“Yeah, shrimpy! We’re besties!” 

“Um, I’m pretty sure that I am the bestie, Floyd.” 

“If you’re the bestie, how come I’m the one that got slapped by them the other day?” 

“Floyd!” You exclaimed, “I told you that was an accident! You surprised me!” 

You had slapped Floyd across the face two days ago when he had jumped out and screamed bloody murder as you were walking out of the bathroom. Fight-or-flight instincts kicked in, and you learned that day that apparently you are a ‘fight’ person. Floyd’s reaction was to cackle and then pretend to run and cry to Jade, who teased that he was disappointed that you had only slapped Floyd and not him yet. 

Dangerous, both of them.

The three of you had finally reached the gym, so it seemed like that particular thread was going to be left forgotten. Grabbing your hand, Ace pulled you inside.

“Jamil! Look who wants to watch us practice!” He exclaimed, holding your hand up in the air like a referee calling a boxing match. 

Jamil’s face did not show even the slightest change of emotion while he stared at Ace. “You’re both ten minutes late, you know.”

“Yeah yeah, but we’re here now, right? Let’s get practicing!” Floyd said playfully, grabbing one of the discarded basketballs off the ground and biting his tongue while he tried to spin it on the tip of his finger. Well, you supposed that was a kind of basketball practice. 

“Uh, if you’d rather only club members be here, Jamil, I don’t want to bother you.” You offered. You would rather stay, but not at the cost of annoying him, even if Ace saying that he was nicer around you made your heart flutter. 

Jamil sighed, his neutral expression falling into a gentle smile.

“You are fine to stay, if you wish. I very much doubt that you were brought here only of your own volition.” He said, side-eyeing Floyd and Ace who had gotten distracted enough within seconds to be horsing around and making repeated missed shots at the home team hoop. Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Did he really always have to play babysitter? 

“Go ahead and take a seat, Prefect.” Jamil said, lightly touching your elbow to steer you towards the bleachers. You go to sit, unconsciously stroking the skin that his fingertips had just ghosted by. This was going to be bad for your heart, you could already tell. 

There was a strange dynamic between the three at practice, you could tell that they were all talking to each other while playing, all three pairs of eyes darting between each other and sometimes even making it your way. Both Floyd and Ace had been going out of their way to talk to you and were being strangely flirty. They were calling out that shots were ‘for you’, winking at you, saying things like ‘if I get three baskets can we go out on Saturday’, or walking off the side of the court to talk to you while everyone else continued to play. It was not your usual dynamic, and it was very confusing.

Jamil however, looked pissed. He was playing a great game, especially since the ever mercurial and unnecessarily tall Floyd was playing seriously for once. There was a flurry of movement, sneakers squeaking on the court, the echo of the ball bouncing and every so often you would catch a word of one of the boys’ mysterious conversations. Unfortunately the only part so far you were able to glean were the words ‘cute’ and ‘fuck you’, so… not much in the way of success so far.

Practice went on that way for a while and then came to an early close. Since Ace and Floyd were late and the second years had a big test coming up, they were leaving early. You decided that the least you could do is help pick up, so you volunteered to help Jamil put all of the equipment away. He gave you another soft smile and thanked you, showing you the equipment closet and instructing you on where everything went. 

You thought that Ace and Floyd would have left by now, but they were huddled together and whispering, which frankly made you nervous. Jamil called you back to reality as he got your help to grab the last of the practice gear and hauled it into the closet, letting out a sigh as you finally got everything put away.

“So Jamil, do you…” You began, but you were interrupted by the lights turning off and the door slamming shut with a loud clack. The distinctive laughter of two of your new best frenemies rang from behind the closed entryway and the sounds of loud running footsteps got quieter and quieter.

Those assholes.

Jamil was closer to the exit than you were, and you could hear him rattling the door while trying to turn the handle.

“It’s locked,” Jamil groaned while burying his head in his hands. He didn’t trust those impulsive assholes for one second, and they still got him with this elementary-level setup. “And the light switch is on the outside.”

You walked uneasily forward and called for Jamil softly, your shoulders relaxing as soon as you felt the warmth of his arm. You tried to look at his face, but it was just a bit too dark.

The darkness was actually lucky for Jamil, because that meant that you would only see outlines of shapes rather than see him grinding yet another layer of tooth enamel off in stress. He was going to strangle those boys with his bare hands. 

Okay Jamil, breathe. You can get out of this. He inhaled slowly and exhaled on an eight count. Calm. Calm. Collected and calm. 

“I’m so sorry you got wrapped up in their pranks,” Jamil said, sighing as he rubbed the back of his neck in a self-soothing motion. The good mood he had from having you helping him significantly dampened. 

“I don’t mind an excuse to spend time with you, even if I wish the circumstances were a little more fun.” You said with a bubbling laugh. 

Your laugh sounded like a chime in the spring, it felt like a fresh breeze caressing Jamil’s burning skin. You were going to be the death of him. 

How was he supposed to focus on finding a way out of this escape room when all he wanted was for it to be even smaller so he would have another excuse to feel the brush of your cool fingertips on his boiling body?

He had been dying for the entirety of practice, having to listen to Floyd and Ace try to egg him on by talking about how cute you were and how they were going to steal you away if he didn’t make a move. They had been offering to ‘wingman’ for him as soon as they had realized that he seemed to have a soft spot for you, but he had refused the offer. 

Apparently, they had decided to go ahead and take matters into their own hands anyway. Idiots.

Jamil is snapped out of that thought by a loud clatter further in the supply closet, accompanied by your voice letting out a yelp, then followed quickly by a loud expletive and more noises. 

“You okay?” He asked into the darkness, blindly walking forward while waving his hands warily in front of him. The closet wasn’t that big, but there was enough junk in it to make it a bit of a maze.

“Yeah!” You reply with a slight hint of frustration, “I was just trying to see if there was anything useful in here but…” A groan, a shuffle, and your voice sounded quite a bit nearer, “That was a bust.”

You sighed, “My phone is in my bag so I don’t have a flashlight. I’m guessing yours is also?” You asked, wanting to kick yourself for not keeping your phone in your pocket for once. 

“Same.” Jamil chuckled sardonically and began reaching out his hands in the direction of your voice. “Maybe we should work together, huh?”

“Probably. That’s why you’re the famous genius, Jamil.” You said teasingly, feeling along the wall to where it sounded like Jamil was.

Jamil was going to combust if you complimented him like that again. 

He scoffed, “Is the otherworldly non-magical yet still straight-A Ramshackle Prefect, really going to try and call me the famous one?”

It sounded like Jamil was almost right in your ear now. You decided to use that to your advantage. Your eyes had adjusted just slightly, and you were pretty sure you could see the barest outline of the handsome sorcerer you were trapped with. 

You quietly sneak behind him and snake your arms around his waist, feeling his entire body stiffen under your touch. 

God, he was so cute. Your next sentence was breathily whispered over the shell of his ear.

“I mean if one of us should have a fan club it’s you. How do I sign up?” You murmur, taking joy in the quiet gasp that fell out of Jamil’s mouth. “You're always so busy, how do you keep it up?”

It was taking every well-trained muscle of his body to not start shaking in a mixture of intoxicatingly new and intriguing emotions your touch gave him.

“You should be a little more careful in the dark, you know? You did just fall after all.” He mumbled, waiting for a moment for you to relax and reply to his light jab. 

He felt your arms loosen as you began an undoubtedly sassy reply. Jamil took the opportunity to spin around and pin you against the wall. One palm next to your head and the other next to your hips. He could just barely see the cheeky grin on your face. Were you messing with him?

“You should also be careful when it comes to playing with others,” he hissed, pressing his body closer to yours, the sweet scent of dried Scarbian flowers escaping from the fabric of his clothing. 

You felt dizzy from the almost touch, the enthralling smell of him, the heat of his gaze. Would it be too forward to just pull the clothes off of him with no explanation? Well, yes obviously, but should you do it anyway? While you were mulling this over, you felt warm breath fanning over your lips. 

“Jamil?” You asked shakily, feeling the body heat of the man in front of you seeping below your skin. 

“Yes?” He replied, moistening his lips with a lick of his tongue. 

“Can I touch you?” You nearly whimper, desperate to close the millimeters of space between the two of you as soon as possible. 

Jamil barely makes out the start of a “yes“ before you were on him, devouring him with kisses for dear life. It felt like you had waited years to feel him, to taste him, to explore the soft cavern of his mouth with your own. You listened to his moans and gasps for air like a symphony made just for the two of you. 

The darkness added to the thrill of exploration as you felt your way across his body: his gorgeously defined shoulders, the flexibly sleek muscles of his chest, his abdomen. 

It was so sudden, you both had barely even talked today, but your eyes had been burning into him as you had daydreamed for the past hour about how much you wanted to put your hands on him and make him speak your name.

Watching him focused on the court, the way his hair would fly in the air as he would duck and weave like the finest silk, the glint in his eyes when he would see an opening, and the dangerous grin that would grow on his face when he took advantage of the opponents single moment of weakness to their doom. You would stare at him, his smile wide, his perfectly smooth complexion gleaming with sweat, just a hint of scarlet on the tips of his ears and the ends of his fingers from the exertion. Laughing in joy for securing that final point they needed to win the match. How could you not be enthralled by him?

You thought of how the world seemed to stop spinning when he danced, how wide he would smile, the crease of his eyes, the sway of his hips. He was intoxicating.

And now, he held your chin in his hand, gently guiding your head back against the wall he had the rest of your body pinned against, his other hand cushioning the back of your head from the hard surface. Pupils blown wide, chest heaving. 

Jamil worried that he might be dreaming and would wake up any second now. He moved closer to your body again, unwilling to miss out on a second of feeling your skin before he awoke. If this was a dream, then he would make sure to take every advantage. If this was reality, then he would just need to thank his lucky stars for the opportunity as soon as he could.

Moving his lips down the shell of your ear, he traced his tongue down from your lobe to the base of your neck. Jamil’s knees almost buckled in overwhelm as he heard you moan his name while you threaded your fingers at the nape of his neck and pressed your body against him as hard as you could. He pushed you flush to that goddamn wall, scraping his teeth on your soft skin onto your pulse point as you gasped and murmured praises for him, scratching at his back with your nails and pulling at the roots of his hair. 

It felt like he was on fire, it felt like the world would end the second that you were no longer touching him. He needed more, he needed every last drop of your affection that you would give him. Kissing a path back to your face, Jamil smoothed his tongue over yours as he gave your soft appendage a strong suck, pumping your tongue with his mouth as the messy kisses and overwhelming sensations caused your lips to redden and swell from the rough contact. 

You separate for air and stare at his almond eyes in a daze. The brief thought that he could ask you to do anything at this moment without even bothering to hypnotize you first and you would do it without question. Jamil’s hands had begun exploring more of your body, squeezing at your chest, stroking his thumbs over your hip bones, tracing the curve of your ass. He would map out every inch of your body until he had memorized it, this was only the beginning after all.

You pushed your fingers under the hem of Jamil’s shirt and started tracing the lines between his stomach and his hips, kissing up and down his jaw and whispering how beautiful he was, how long you had wanted to touch him, and how lucky you were. 

This seems to have gotten him worked up faster than anything yet. Jamil balled up your shirt in his fists to pull you back for breathless kisses, telling you how much he wanted to feel you, how your every action affected him so, and the sheer amount of times he had seen you look into his eyes and smile and how he had to do everything in his power to not pull you away to his room to fuck you right there. Shove himself inside of your shaking frame as his fingers trace the shape of your tongue to make sure that you don’t get too loud. Permanently indent the shape of his fingertips into the divots of your hips as he slams into you over and over, praising your name like you had both been made for the express purpose of being with each other. 

You wished he had, but it wasn’t too late to start. 

You shamelessly told him the details of how you would touch yourself to the thought of him at night, stroking, bucking, biting your lip near bleeding from the imagined sensation of him, his cock, and the repeated sensation of your bodies meeting over and over as you both screamed each other’s names so loud that your voices would be hoarse the next day. 

You felt like you could burst from this heavy petting and erotic descriptions of your collective fantasies alone. You already knew that he was perfect, but you had never been this aroused before in your whole life. You needed relief, you needed him.

“Jamil…” You breathe out, feeling Jamil’s lithely muscled arms envelop you in a desperate embrace, clearly trying to resist (and then immediately failing) to grind his hips against you in a desperate bid for relief from the flames that were clawing their way out of his body inch by inch. 

You were so aroused right now, you didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately for the two of you, there was an audible shuffle and a knock outside the locked door and both you and Jamil’s heads snapped up, separating from each other in surprise. 

A sliver of light flooded in from the door, and Ace and Floyd’s giggles floated in along with it.

“Sea snake? Shrimpy? You alive?” Floyd called, snapping the lights on while you and Jamil grimaced and covered your eyes from the bright lights. 

Jamil didn’t answer, he just held his head high as he plastered on a fake smile, pulling you along with him to the door. 

“Ace? Floyd?” Jamil began, tilting his head to the side in a closed-eyed grin.

“Yeah, Jamil?” Ace beamed, scratching the back of his head like he was a kind samaritan waiting to be thanked for their act of charity. 

“You two are the dumbest motherfuckers alive. Go run laps until your legs give out.” 

Both Floyd and Ace’s expressions went slack, and the two boys nodded and began sprinting outside. You looked at Jamil quizzically. 

“Did you just…?”

“They’ll be fine, they need the exercise anyway,” Jamil replied slyly, his fake smile melting away into a genuine one. 

“So are we going to your room or mine, gorgeous?” He cooed, leaning to place a chaste kiss on your cheek.

You went to his.

What TreySimp? A plot got away from you? How shocking! How novel!

Okay anyway Jamil is a babe he is a hottie I love him etc etc etc I am insufferable with my 500 fictional boyfriends sue me

Let me know what else y'all wanna see. Love you, reader!

Requested tags: @readinganas, @yandere-kou, @daeda21, @sideofblog, @buckketboy, @kxhyuns, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu, @destinationdesignation, @ninjas-are-the-shit, @star-gods, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @sunnyseaside, @twstandsh0ut, @rebel-faes-writing, @witch-waycult, @fr0llo, @bluesylveon2, @dari-kun, @kit4kat256, @naniky, @kashasenpai, @the-mermaid-of-the-stars

[fairyhaos]

ᥫ᭡ // dude, i can see (through) you

vernon x gn!reader fluff, crack(?), supernatural au, non-idol au, ghosts, ft. ghost!jeonghan

3.5k+ words

warnings for: mentions of insomnia, pills

summary: when you move into your new house that seems almost too good to be true, you find yourself (not quite) face-to-face with the prettiest boy you've ever seen.

“Hey, hey, Hansol, did you hear that the family are finally leaving the house?”

“What? Already? Hyung, come on, why do you keep doing this?”

“It’s fun! I bet it was the floating pots and pans that did it. You know how much effort I put in to get those to lift up.”

“I liked these people. They had a dog!”

“Yeah, and the dog could see us. That’s a no-no.”

“Still, hyung, don’t you think we should just… try to live peacefully?”

“Ha! That’s funny. Anyways, I bet I can make the next tenant move out in just a month.”

“No. You shouldn’t do that.”

“So you don’t think I can?”

“I don’t think you should—”

“Oh, it’s on, Hansol! I'm gonna prove it to you!”

“Please don’t.”

───────────── 👻

There is something seriously, seriously wrong with your new house.

It’s nothing obviously wrong, however: on paper, it’s a perfect place. Situated in a nice town, not in an hugely overpopulated area, with various convenience stores and a park close by. Even the house is perfect: not too big, not too small, and, above all, startlingly cheap.

Everything about it is perfect. But from the first day that you move in, you realise that things are a bit… strange.

“Where the hell has my laptop gone?”

You thread your hand through your hair, exasperated. In the middle of your desk, where your laptop ought to be, there was an empty space.

You’ve always been a forgetful person, accidentally leaving your shoes in the wrong place or leaving doors open or forgetting where you put your keys, but this is getting ridiculous. Losing an entire laptop? That’s odd, even for you.

Frustrated, you open your various boxes that still contain half of your worldly possessions, wondering if you’d gone mad and somehow put it away in them instead.

When it becomes clear that your laptop has not been accidentally packed away, you straighten up, shaking your head and resigning yourself to the fact that your laptop is simply lost to the void that is your new house. Hopefully, you manage to find it again before you have to go to work in a couple of weeks.

───────────── 👻

“So, what’s it like, living by yourself?”

You huff, adjusting the phone against your ear as you crawl around on the floor, bending down to look under the sofa. “Really, really weird.”

Your friend laughs over the phone. “Weird? How?”

“Well, for starters,” you say, fishing out yet another fork that had somehow made it under your upholstery, “I think I’m being haunted.”

There’s a pause. “What?”

You don’t believe in the supernatural, or the paranormal, or anything mythical or to do with ghosts and vampires and the otherworldly. They’re all just tales, made up by idiotic people and spun into a capitalist plot by the media, creating franchise after franchise surrounding possessed dolls and muscled Hollywood men playing traumatised werewolves. It’s irritating, and most of all, it’s all fake.

Science and supernatural cannot coexist, after all.

But now, you’re beginning to question whether that’s really the case.

“—turned all my clocks forward by four hours. Four! I thought I was going insane,” you say, standing up and returning to your kitchen with the fork in your hands, after finding your cutlery drawer empty an hour earlier, despite the fact that you’d put away all your cutlery only yesterday.

You put the fork away, and then open up a cupboard to grab a glass, only to flinch and scream at what you see.

“Oh my god, Y/N? Y/N, are you okay?”

“This is ridiculous,” you breathe, staring up at your cupboard.

Every single row is squashed full of your soft toys.

“Hey, Y/N, are you listening to me? Hello? Can you hear me?”

You blink up in extreme despair at the cupboard before shutting the door. You don’t have the energy to deal with it right now. “Yeah, I’m here,” you say, holding the phone more securely against your ear. “Listen, I might have to call you back. I still haven’t fully unpacked yet.”

“Are you okay? You screamed and then suddenly went silent.”

Heaving a sigh, you close your eyes for a moment and then open them again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll call you later, alright?”

You hang up, and walk out of the kitchen and into the hallway, before pausing in your tracks, staring wide-eyed at the front door.

The front door that was wide open.

You blink.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the door begins to swing shut, before suddenly closing with a sudden bang.

You stand there for a moment longer, before shaking your head and walking up the stairs.

Whichever ghost was haunting you, they sure were weird.

───────────── 👻

“Hey, Hansol, why is this tenant not leaving?”

“I told you. You shouldn’t do this.”

“Hmm, nah. It’s okay. It’s only been a week. I can do this.”

“Should you, though?”

───────────── 👻

Hansol is, unfortunately, so dead.

Very much in the literal sense as well, because he's a ghost. Don't ask him about the logistics of that, or how it came to be, because he doesn't know. All he knows is that one day he died and the next, he opened his eyes and no one could see him. 

But he's also so dead in the figurative sense, too. Because he and his Jeonghan hyung (who was technically a year or so younger than him when he died but still insists on being called ‘hyung’ because he died around a century earlier than him, and “you ought to respect people’s deathdays, Hansol”) have been inhabiting this house for several years, now, but he’s never had a desire to be human again in all that time.

That is, until he meets you.

You’re the latest owner of this house, and you’re… well, you're interesting.

Never before has he seen someone so tolerant of Jeonghan’s schemes. In his attempt to win at a bet that he’d created by himself, Jeonghan was pulling out all the big guns on you: starting off by being a nuisance, then an irritant, then infuriating before escalating into downright chaotic, in a climax where he made all the doors open and slam repeatedly in the middle of the night.

It’s enough to make anyone want to move out. Hansol half-expected you to leave within the first five days, but instead, you clench your jaw and plaster a smile on your face and keep on going.

He thinks it’s a little curious that you’re putting on a smile, even though there’s no one to see it. Like you’re constantly always alert of people watching you, and feeling the need to put on a mask. It makes him want to be human, just for a second, to put a hand on your shoulder and ask if you’re really okay.

During the second week, however, he realises that you really aren’t okay.

“The tenant still hasn’t gone to sleep,” Jeonghan sulks, floating through your bedroom door to sit (well, hover) beside Hansol on the floor just outside. 

“You can just say Y/N,” Hansol reminds him. “What do you mean, though? All humans are meant to be asleep by now.”

“Yeah, well, ours isn’t,” Jeonghan huffs. He crosses his arms petulantly, and his translucent ghost self flickers and wobbles at the dramatic movement. “Why not?”

Hansol shrugs. “How am I meant to know?”

Before Jeonghan can say something snarky in reply, the door to your bedroom door swings open, and the two ghosts flinch and freeze up, momentarily forgetting that they're ghosts. 

They watch as you slowly trudge down the stairs, muttering annoyedly to yourself. You had a dressing gown drawn over you, and you hug it against yourself while you shuffle through your house, before walking into the kitchen.

Hansol looks at Jeonghan, and the other just shrugs, and they both decide to follow you and see what you’re up to.

Hansol peeks his head through the wall just as you pop a few pills into your mouth.

“What’s going on?” Jeonghan asks, pushing Hansol through the wall so that he’s standing in the kitchen properly. “Are those drugs?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Hansol says, and then floats closer so he can see the writing in the bottle you’re holding. It doesn’t help, though, because the writing is all faded, like this is a bottle you’ve had for a while. “Medicine? But what for?”

Jeonghan folds his arms, sitting on the table. “Great. Our new tenant is dying.”

“Does this mean you’ll stop being mean now?” Hansol asks, coming to sit next to Jeonghan.

“I’m not mean.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not! When have I ever been mean, hm? Tell me, Hansol!”

Suddenly, there’s a clatter, and a mess of white pills spread out across the floor, under the table and throughout the entire kitchen. Both of the ghosts, pause, and when Hansol looks up, his eyes widen.

You’re looking directly at him.

No one says anything, and for a long, long moment, you continue to stare directly at Hansol, and he swallows uneasily, glancing over at Jeonghan. The other ghost is just sitting there, too, but he’s looking at you with interest, eyes flicking between you and Hansol.

“It’s… it’s not me, right?” Hansol says hesitantly. “Surely our tenant isn’t seeing me.”

“Try moving,” Jeonghan says, and directs his gaze back to you. There’s not a trace of wariness in his eyes, and Hansol feels more confused than ever. Jeonghan was the one who said that the last family ought to be kicked out because their dog could see them.

Nevertheless, arguing with Jeonghan wastes fifteen years of Hansol’s (undead) lifetime every time, so he does as he’s told, hopping off from the table and almost falls on his face when your eyes track his movements as he does so.

“Holy shit,” you whisper. Hansol’s beginning to feel a bit panicky now. “Dude, I can see through you.”

And then your eyes glaze over and you crumple into a heap on the floor.

───────────── 👻

“Y/N can see us,” Hansol says, pacing frantically. “Hyung, we’re doomed! We’re—we’re gonna get exorcised and go to Hell and have to meet the Devil!”

Jeonghan just hums, looking down at your sleeping form. “I don’t think so.”

After you had fainted, the two ghosts had (very painstakingly) carried you back up the stairs and back into bed. It takes a huge amount of effort for ghosts to be able to make themselves felt in the living plane, and Hansol had been gasping from the effort for a solid hour afterwards.

Now, though, the exhaustion has worn off, and he’s currently making Jeonghan mildly dizzy with all his pacing.

“Hyung.” Hansol whirls around again to face Jeonghan, making the elder ghost raise his eyebrows. “You know what this means, right? This tenant is unwell. You’re not allowed to play your tricks anymore.”

That makes Jeonghan pause. He bites his thumb, then, thinking, before nodding his head. “Fine. I don’t like tormenting the sick, anyways. It hurts to think about.”

Hansol sighs at that, mouth twisting in sympathy. He pats Jeonghan’s shoulder. “Don’t think about it. You’ve been dead for ages, hyung. I’m surprised your memory is still intact.”

Jeonghan scowls, pinching Hansol’s side, making the younger ghost yelp and then laugh. “Hey! We’re basically the same age.”

“Give or take around a hundred years.”

“Yeah, barely anything!”

The two ghosts continue bickering, their voices absorbed into the nothingness that was the plane of the dead. 

In your bed, you turn your head towards the direction of warped voices, squinting at the faint outlines that you can see near the window.

───────────── 👻

“—really handsome dude, oh my god,” you’re saying while you sort through your papers. Your laptop still hasn’t turned up. “Is there any side effect of taking sleeping pills again after a long time of not using them that, like, causes hallucinations of hot guys?”

Over the phone, your friend laughs. “I guess living by yourself really is making you go insane, huh?”

“I’m not insane,” you insist, chuckling. “It sounds insane, but I swear, he was so…” You hide your face behind your hand, despite the fact that no one can see you. 

“That gorgeous, huh?” comes the response from the other end of the line, and you get the distinct feeling that your friend doesn’t really believe you. You take your hand away from your face, trying to rub away the blush on your cheeks.

“Yeah, actually, he was! Anyway, I gotta go. I still haven’t found my laptop, and doing all my work by hand isn’t going well.”

“Go to the library and use a computer there.”

You pause. “Oh. Good idea. I’ll do that tomorrow. Goodnight, I gotta go now.”

There’s a laugh on the other end. “Okay. Goodnight, Y/N.”

The two ghosts sit on your bed, watching you as you hang up the phone and go back to your work.

“So,” Jeonghan says, and his tone is light and teasing, ��Y/N thinks you’re pretty gorgeous, huh? I guess you really were seen, after all.” He nods his head in your direction. “Our new tenant is definitely really interesting.”

Silence falls again, and Hansol watches you agonise over your sheets, one hand permanently buried in your hair.

“Hyung,” he says after a moment, “You should give Y/N the laptop back.”

───────────── 👻

“Stupid goddamn insomnia,” you mutter to yourself, trudging down the stairs yet again. “Why can’t I go to sleep?”

You’ve been in your new house for just over two weeks, now, and things are… normal. After the initial weird things happening during the first several days, everything seems to have settled down, almost like the house had gotten used to its new owner. It makes you laugh, every time you think of it in that way, but there’s no other way to explain how the sudden door slammings have stopped, and all your things seem to be exactly where you left them.

And even the other day, you’d found your laptop again.

Everything was going well.

A flash of big, translucent brown eyes flash across your vision, and you shake your head, trying to dispel the memory.

You despise taking your pills, hate them for how drowsy they make you throughout the rest of the day, but just over a week into moving in, you’d caved and succumbed to their awful numbness. Your insomnia had flared up, almost, as if panicked by the new environment, leaving you unable to sleep for several days.

Strangely, though, after you’d had that… vision, you’d been able to sleep easier for a while. 

Large, surprised eyes flood your memory again, and you frown, scrunching your eyes and attempting to get rid of it.

That boy hadn’t appeared in your vision again after that night, and you’ve reluctantly convinced yourself that it had just been a side effect of the sleeping pills and your own lack of sleep. Hallucinations weren’t uncommon with strong sleeping pills, after all.

You finish downing your pills, drinking the entire mug of water for good measure, before wiping your mouth and setting the mug down on the counter. 

Groggily, you rub your eyes and attempt to head out of the kitchen, stumbling a little as you go. Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you aren’t tired, after all. It’s just your stupid body not allowing you to fall asleep.

Abruptly, your foot catches against your other ankle, and you slam into the doorframe with a cry of pain. Eyes still bleary, you move jerkily only to feel yourself keeling over backwards, falling faster and faster towards the floor, and then—

A pair of arms catch you, and you fall back against a sturdy chest that stumbles, just slightly, under your weight, before gaining control and slowly lowering you to the floor, still in their embrace, head in their lap.

Your head is spinning, vision blurry, but as you look up, the sight that stares back at you is as clear as day.

Big, brown, translucent eyes.

Your own eyes widen in shock, and the pair of eyes staring into yours widen too.

“Oh my god,” you say. “How did you get into my house?”

The boy above you opens and closes his mouth wordlessly. “Um… I live here?”

“Like hell you do,” you return. Before you can say anything else, however, the feeling of his arms disappears and you drop the last few inches onto the floor, back making contact with the hard wood. You yelp in pain, and he cringes apologetically.

“Sorry! Sorry. Uh, it’s hard to make myself tangible for long. I didn’t meant to do that. Sorry.”

You sit up, rubbing your back. “Wait, what do you mean? Are you not…”

Another boy steps into your vision. No—he floats, feet constantly millimeters from the ground. He bends down over the boy sitting on the floor next to you, looking down at you with interest. “I’m surprised that you’ve managed to make yourself visible to our tenant for so long, Hansol.”

You blink, lost. “Hey, I can see you too, you know.”

The new boy looks bewildered at that. “You can?” Then his eyes widen. “And you can hear me?”

“You’re talking, aren’t you?” You narrow your eyes. “Is this some prank? Halloween is right around the corner, after all. Are you playing with me?”

“No, no!” The boy who caught you shakes his head frantically. “No, we’d never. Well, Jeonghan hyung might, but I wouldn’t.” He pauses, and then smiles hesitantly, standing up. “Um… we’re ghosts?”

You don’t say anything for a long moment. And then you tap your chin thoughtfully. “Prove it.”

“Please don't pani—what?”

“Prove it,” you say, and then shrug. “I gotta make sure that you’re really ghosts, you know? How do I know that you’re what you say you are?”

The other ghost, Jeonghan, raises an eyebrow. “Why would we lie to you?”

“I dunno. You’re bored?”

Jeonghan thinks about it for a moment, before nodding. “Fair point.” And then, abruptly, he walks up to you, and you expect him to stop right before you, but to your surprise, he carries on going and walks right through you instead.

“Jesus!” you shiver, a horrible coldness running down your spine. “Don’t do that!”

Jeonghan just beams. “Do you believe us now?”

You look back at Hansol, thinking. If you tilt your head just slightly, he flickers out of focus, like a mirage. But when you look at him in just the right angle, he looks as present as any human, only a little less so. Like he’s almost here, but not quite.

After a second, you nod your head. “I suppose you really are ghosts,” you say, and there’s just enough awe in your voice to make Hansol’s eyes widen in confusion.

“You’re… not going to run away?”

“Are you kidding? This is so cool,” you say, clasping your hands together. You grin. “It was getting lonely here anyway. And besides, you’re also really pretty.” Your eyes widen at your own words, and you backtrack. “Uh, pretty cool. That’s what I meant. Ghosts are cool, you know?”

Jeonghan laughs. “Hansol already knows that you think he’s gorgeous. We heard you.”

Instantly, a flush surges up into your cheeks, and Hansol rubs at his nose, embarrassed, before punching Jeonghan in the shoulder. He doesn’t deny it, though, which makes you feel kind of really flustered, but there’s a shy smile on his face as he looks at you.

“I think you’re also really pretty, too,” he says, and goddamnit, a ghost shouldn’t have the power to make you blush like this.

Jeonghan is about to say something, but then gets interrupted when, abruptly, a yawn wracks your frame and you cover your mouth, face scrunching up.

“Well, I think I need to head to bed,” you say, rubbing at your eyes. “Think I’m finally getting tired.”

That makes Hansol almost wilt in disappointment, and it’s such a cute sight that you almost reach over to ruffle his hair. Which is weird. Because he’s a ghost, and also because you hardly know him, but there’s something just so endearing about Hansol that makes you feel like you want to know him forever and ever.

Slowly, you make your way back upstairs, the ghosts trailing after you.

“I’m going to pester you both with questions tomorrow,” you inform them as you get into bed. “Like, about how I’m able to see ghosts and why I can hear you and how long you’ve both been here. I really will.”

Jeonghan laughs. “We look forward to it. It’s been a while since we’ve had someone other than each other to talk to. I think we’ll both like your company.” He nudges Hansol in the side, smile turning devious. “Hansol even more so than me.”

Hansol groans, covering his face, and you just smile, too drowsy to think of what that means at the moment.

“Leave my room before I go to sleep,” you say, as your eyelids close. “I heard you talking in my room a few nights ago, you know. You should know it’s not good to spy on people in their sleep.”

Jeonghan might reply with something, but you’re not entirely sure. Sleep is already pulling you under, pulling you far away from the state of being awake.

The last thing you recall is a cool pressure against your forehead, and a warm voice whispering your name.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @butiluvu @sakufilms @eightlightstar @aaniag @amxlia-stars

[hypermania]

transcript of the full thread:

"A very long thread: To the League fans, We found out this news along with you on Friday. I see the pain and anger and worry out there, which for the LGBTQIA+ fans of the show is of course compounded by what’s happening across the country right now. #ALeagueOfTheirOwn

So the first and most important thing to say is: Before anything, before you fight for the show or each other, please take care of yourselves. Reach out to your community and ask for help if you need it. You aren’t alone. Please be kind to yourselves.

As I’ve been thinking about what’s happened, I come back to a quote from Penny Marshall’s film: “The hard is what makes it great.” Making this show is so hard and so great. There’s quite a bit to say about what’s been hard, but at this point that’s in the past.

Of course, if we have an avenue to do it well, we will continue the show, and I love seeing the noise you’re making in support of that. The noise matters!

And it’s hard for me to imagine there wouldn’t be a home for a show that thanks to you was in the Nielsen Top 10 for three weeks, was the top show on Amazon for a month and in the top five for six, that was recognized by critics as something special, that’s been recognized…

…with awards from GLAAD, HRC and a million other organizations, that was on a million year-end top ten lists, and that has a built in and deeply passionate audience.

Amazon is pursuing different kinds of programming, but to the rest of the world this show is a hit and has huge value and even greater potential. But first things first, we have to win this strike and get a fair deal before we can explore what comes next.

But for a moment, I want to talk about what happens if the world didn’t quite change quickly enough for you to have all the seasons of this show that we want to give you.

If we don’t find a good path forward, I will still know that League did what it came here to do and, in its own small way, changed the world.

And that’s because of all of you, and the light you continue to shine on the show — How you let it matter to you, how you let it become a mirror, how you let it change you.

I’ve never experienced a response to a show that’s as deep, personal, creative and meaningful as what the fans have done with League. When we were making the season 1, we all wondered and worried about whether people would accept it on its own terms next to the film.

They have, and you did that, and so much more. You lit up the internet on your first watch throughs of the show, when you realized where it was going (and made all of us laugh in the process).

You wrote enough fan fiction for 100 novels and created an outpouring of art and creativity that could fill its own museum — I’ve truly never seen anything like it.

You lifted up a 95 year old who had just come out of the closet and made her into a celebrity who gets recognized wherever she goes. Every time any member of the cast appears at anything, you turn it into a convention.

You stop Abbi wherever she goes, and though I’m a happily inconspicuous person, and you constantly find me and stop me and give me gifts that now have a shelf in my house.

When thousands of you appeared to see D’Arcy at the stage door of The Thanksgiving Play over its run, you turned it into the hottest queer bar in New York. You made Max’s suit and Chante’s beautiful performance into a movement.

A mob of you went to Pittsburgh and saw all of our locations. You dressed as the characters and made our characters into one of the biggest halloween costumes of last year.

You came out, you changed pronouns, you started living more openly, you gave sermons in church about the show, you opened bars, and you got a truly mind boggling number of tattoos that say “to the five” and “rob the bank.” What else am I forgetting? I'm sure you'll remind me.

But most importantly, you made a community, you found each other and found joy, which of course is what the show is about. In many more ways than I would ever have let myself imagine while we were making it, you literally bring the show to life every day.

Thank you for making our work mean something bigger. We’ve heard from so many different kinds of people around the world who are watching League.

But, in a time when all queer people are personally and politically under attack across the country and HRC has declared a “state of emergency,” my biggest fear is that the many queer fans of League will take this reversal as one more invalidation, one more blow, one more…

…effect of the general politicization of our identities. Most of us grew up feeling invisible, and as we gain strength, the predictable backlash forces are trying their hardest to get us to go back underground.

In case anyone needs to hear it: You are not small, niche, modest, off-putting or marginal, and neither are your stories. You are multitudes, you are building, and your stories are universal. You are the most rapidly growing audience and consumer group in this country.

You are powerful. You are the future, and the people who don’t recognize your importance now will feel be clamoring to catch up in a few years. As Chante said so beautifully when we received the Human Right Campaign Visionary award, you are the main characters. Be proud.

Be angry if you that’s how you feel, but know that we are going to win, and don’t ever let this moment or any other make you small. The biggest lesson of the characters in this show is that, in a world that had no space for them at all, they LIVED. (Continued)

They found love, they did the things they loved, they won. You’re doing the same thing, and just like them, you are heroes. We are still fighting for League. But whether we win or lose this one, I’m so proud.

From the time when we began working on the season, Abbi, Deta and I said to each other — Let’s not hold anything back, for as long as we get to be here, let’s do this the right way.

We got so many notes wondering if the exploration of the queer world of the 1940s or Max’s world would be better saved for season 2, if people needed to start somewhere a little more familiar. I’m so glad we didn’t listen, cause now I’m sitting here without any regrets.

And no matter what happens, the people behind League aren’t going anywhere. Give us a minute, we will be back with more for you to watch and read and feel. We’re going to win.

And you’re not going anywhere either, because what you’ve built and what you are is bigger than this show. It’s the story of our community, that comes to us through the hidden history that League shows just one small part of: The bars got raided and shut down.

But the people didn’t go anywhere, and they opened a new bar, and out of those spaces came music, cinema, dance, culture — What we now see as mainstream was birthed from the spaces our predecessors were forced to hide in. They made joy there."

[inbarfink]

Alrighty, so a second season of ‘Fionna and Cake’ is now Officially Confirmed! I was being very cautious about speculating and getting my hopes up until it was Actually Announced, but now that it has, I can’t say I am necessarily shocked that there is going to be a continuation. Looking back on what we can now confidently call ‘Season 1’, there are a few peculiar threads which seem like they are probably meant as a set up for this second season.

Now, everything in this post is going to be very speculative. This is just me going over aspects of Season 1 which seems weird from a perspective of set-up and payoff or just feel like they need more elaboration and thinking what might be done with them in S2. With basically nothing to go on for what will Actually Happen in Season 2 save for the fact that it will exist, just remember to put a huge caveat of ‘I don’t actually know anything yet!’ next to everything I type lol

Fionnaworld Stuff

I wanna start by talking about the one part of Fionna and Cake’s Season 2 we can be pretty certain about - which is that it’s going to feature Fionna and Cake and probably the rest of the Fionnaworld gang. Although, to be perfectly honest… Right now, I am struggling to think of a clear ‘loose thread’ that can hint at where these characters will go in future. Season 1 seemed to have left everyone fairly content. 

I’m not saying that there’s no place to explore these characters further - obviously I’m sure Season 2 will find whole new unexpected angles to develop them. I’m just saying that Season 1 doesn’t really have any clear threads you can point at as a basis for a prediction. At least nothing I can really see myself. 

Perhaps we can give more focus to the Fionna/Hunter stuff we hinted at during Season 1, but wasn’t really given center stage? Or something about Fionna learning how she can be an adventurer on her own terms, after her Season 1 experiences kinda convinced her she couldn’t at all? Or maybe since Season 1 was kinda Fionna-focused, we’re going to get a more Cake-Focused Season 2?

That’s all I got for now, at least. I guess with ‘Fionna and Cake’ being a very character-focused show, and the idea of a renewal probably not being certain when S1 was developed - it makes sense to prioritize giving a strong sense of closure for the main characters and keep the ‘sequel teasing’ stuff to just Lore/Plot hints. Like, if there’s a little Hint of Things to Come that doesn’t amount to anything because the show got canceled that’s just like a Little Weird, but leaving the main characters’ arcs/relationships feeling unresolved forever would be a much bigger problem for the show’s legacy. And speaking of which…

Prismo Stuff

And here’s the real Interesting Stuff that inspired me to make this post in the first place. I think the most notable potential ‘sequel tease’ in F&C Season 1, the thing I always noted as Odd before the second season was confirmed, the main reason I suspected a second season was probably in the works -  is definitely this little moment with Prismo during the ending…

Where he seems to ‘glitch’ for a moment.

What could this possibly mean? I am not sure, but I feel pretty confident that it’s Plot Relevant. It’s a quick but pretty noticeable Moment that doesn’t really seem to have a clear explanation within the first season, especially as it happens just as everything is wrapping up. Perhaps this is the first sign of Prismo becoming sick/malfunctioning/infected, and Season 2 is going to be about unglitching him?

Speaking of which, going into more character-related stuff… while Prismo's grief-induced-depression-spiral from Jake’s death is constantly hinted at throughout the first season - it’s never really confronted directly. I mean, we can assume that between helping out F&C and having Scarab around as a personal assistant - that could’ve helped him get a new lease on life… But maybe a second season could explore Prismo’s grief more deeply?

And then there are also these two

That’s another thing I always found very peculiar in a “hmm, are they planning on making an S2??” sort of way. Like, they spend a minute-and-a-half establishing the Core and the way it works... when I first watched it I was pretty certain it was going to come back later. Like, Simon is going to try to fuck with Time Itself to get Betty back or something. But then they just… loop back to it. It was just a piece of Lore Trivia and a background for the Actually Lore Relevant Infodump.

It might indeed be just that. Just an extra bit of Worldbuilding and a neat change of scenery in the middle of the chase scene. But I still suspect that these Time Titans will become plot-relevant at some future point. 

Multiverse Stuff

Well, out of the myriad worlds that F&C have already visited, it seems like the one that has really left a lot of lingering questions in the minds of the AT Fandom is Farmworld, and those questions are primarily…

HEY!? What the FUCK??? Is he okay?? Is he dead??

So yeah, some sort of confirmation of whatever or not Farmworld Finn is/isn’t dead, and if he is dead - some sort of confirmation of how his kids are getting by considering that their eldest brother just fucked-off to another universe one day… that would be nice and give a better sense of closure on the Farmworld segment of F&C Season 1.

But personally…I think the Multiverse Moment that really rings to me the most as a ‘probable future plot point’, is definitely this little moment in Vampireworld.

The show deliberately emphasizes the moment where the Vampire King saw our Trio use God’s Remote Control to warp to another world. And personally, the vibes here seem… meaningful.

With Bonnie also drawing attention to the fact the Vampires have over-hunted the humans and basically doomed both the world in general and Vampirekind specifically… Could this be the Vampire King’s solution to that problem? Now that he has seen ‘a new thing’, a hint at the existence of the Multiverse - will he try to find a whole new world for his children to feast on?

Well… that’s an alright villain concept and a decent plot hook. My current problem with it is just… the Mainworld Vampire King made for an intriguing and interesting character due both to his compelling dynamic with Marceline and the way he has been changed by the destruction of his people into a very contemplative and complex person. Vampireworld Vampire King doesn’t really have that, as a Vampire King who has never known defeat, he's just a Very Dramatic Evil Vampire. And I feel like Adventure Time aspires to more unique antagonists than Very Dramatic Evil Vampires. 

Now, it’s not impossible to make Vampireworld Vampire King a bit more Interesting if he ever takes center stage - maybe the population collapse of Vampireworld affected him in similar ways to Mainworld Vampire King, or maybe it affected him in a totally different direction, maybe we can give a bit more focus on the influence the Crown has or doesn’t have on him, maybe something else completely out-of-left-field could happen to him.

Or maybe the Star did end up surviving the Doomed Yuri Freefall and she’ll be the one trying out for Vampiric Multiverse Conqueror. She was always the, well, Star of Vampireworld - and she has the potential to be a very fun antagonist with cool thematic implications. I mean, like, Imagine her in contrast to Marshall. He gave up on a comfortable life in the laps of luxury due to wanting some freedom from his over-controlling mom and also it seems some level of moral outrage at her Landlordy ways

And the Star is a Daddy’s Girl Evil Vampire Princess and basically everything he has tried not to be. And yet… will he see a bit of himself in the Star?

Also, I wonder if we’ll see some more of the Alternative Universes Simon stumbled on during his trip back to Ooo. You know, the ones we haven’t actually seen in the main plot.

Simon Stuff

Okay, so… even before the announcement was made official, I have seen a lot of people assume that F&C Season 2 will be just as Simon-Focused as the first season. But personally, I am not sure about it just yet. I mean, I’m a huge Simon Fan, being part of the Petricollective ever since I started to watch the show, so I sure as hell will not complain but… it is important to remember the show is called “Fionna and Cake” and not “Fionna and Cake and Simon”.

I can see the idea being that Simon works as more of a ‘link’ between regular ‘Adventure Time’ and ‘Fionna and Cake’. You know, he’s a fan-favorite and the one major ‘loose thread’ in the original show that can draw old fans into this series which is mostly an all-new cast (considering the Fionnaworld Crew consider themselves to be distinctive from their old magical counterparts).... Kinda like he was the link between Fionnaworld and the rest of the Multiverse, actually. So he’s around as a major character for the first season and from then on he takes more of a secondary role. Since he is a good friend of F&C by this point and their main connection to Ooo, I doubt he’ll disappear completely, but he just might not be as central a character. Or maybe the theme of ‘Fionna and Cake’ is F&C teaming up with different Mainworld characters for different kinds of adventures? 

I mean, it still could go either way. Simon’s arc feels pretty well-concluded to me but the same is true for the Fionnaworld crew and… obviously they’re going to have more Character Stuff in the upcoming season and it’s the whole thing about how it’s important to make your character arcs feel concluded if you don’t know if you’re getting another season. We’ve talked about this already. 

And also… There is one aspect of Simon’s Problems at the start of the show that didn’t truly get to a satisfactory conclusion by the end of the first season. Namely, his loving-but-rocky relationships with both Marceline and Finn.

Like, y’know, he’s generally handling his Stuff better by the end of the season so I guess we can assume he’s also better at communicating with his loved ones but… it is very peculiar that we didn’t actually get to see it. Even as just a moment in his Happy Ending Montage when we see him hanging out and being happy with Finn and/or Marcy. Like, there is certainly a Point to be made about the importance of Simon making friends with people who didn’t know him much as Ice King for the sake of his recovery…

But the total absence of Finn and Marcy from Simon’s epilogue still feels… odd. So that could be something to return to in a future season. Like, I did speculate the F&C ‘format’ might be the Fionnaworld Crew + a different Mainworld character given focus every season. So maybe Simon’s still-not-fully-concluded interpersonal issues could be a launchpad to a F&C season with a primary focus on Finn and/or Marceline.

Finn and Fionna adventuring together would be pretty neat, and if we’re going to give more focus to Prismo’s Grief Problem, it would be very Thematically Appropriate. But also....confronting Finn’s own Jake Grief Problems is actually kinda challenging because we already had a whole special about it.

And that special is happening way way farther in the timeline and explicitly established that Finn never truly got over the grief of losing Jake.

So making an F&C adventure that tackles Finn’s grief in a satisfying manner without feeling it steps over Together Again’s toes… Well, it’s not impossible, but it is quite a tall feat.

Meanwhile, Marceline has less Obvious Issues That Need to Be Addressed right now but also… if we do have the Vampire King and/or the Star as a major threat for this new season, she would clearly be the one to get the Maximum Amount of Drama out of it, so…

Other Ooo Stuff

Okay, so speaking of Finn and things established early on in F&C which then didn’t really come back by the end of the first season, let’s talk a bit about the Heart of the Forest.

So this whole thing could be just a Joke. It could just be a gag about Finn disregarding Huntress Wizard’s warnings and taking his depressed middle-aged friend hiking in the Most Sacred and Ancient Forest in all of Ooo, as a joke. Haha, oh this Finn, so irresponsible! But also…

Finn and Simon were being watched. By a being wearing the same mask as the ‘Evil Bear’

But one that does not quite move like a bear world…

And then of course, this supposedly ‘Evil Bear’ only attacks Simon after he tries to get his little nerdy hands on this peculiar and important-looking tree. 

This really seems to have some implications that the ‘Evil Bear’ is not just one more random ‘evil’ monster that Finn and Simon stumbled across. That they might be some sort of Guardian for the Heart of the Forest, and that their shapeshifting abilities also extend to having some sort of humanoid form, and that they are not quite as monstrous or bestial or ‘evil’ as Finn pegged them out to be.

But all that happens is that Finn kills them, and then the whole matter is not brought up again…. Well, as of Season 1, that is…

So if we are doing some sort of Finn Focused Season, that might be something to bring up. Especially if it’s paired up with some of the Fionna/Hunter stuff I brought up above. 

Again, everything here is just Wild Wild Speculation at this point. This is just a bunch of Stuff that felt Weird resolution-wise in Season 1, and some loose ideas about how they might connect. If you guys have your own ideas and observations, I would love to hear them too!

[txttletale]

I feel like the reason people get like this with dnd as opposed to other art forms is that with other art forms you aren’t like spending 2-3 hours every week experiencing them. so when someone says “oh this thing you’re dedicating substantial time to is bad” it triggers the need to be like “oh I’m not bad, I don’t consume bad media, here let me explain(and or attack your position)”

that and also the culture around dnd is such that even if you’re playing something radically homebrewed you’re still encouraged to view it as “playing DnD” instead of “playing (heavily modified) DnD”

this would of course be fixed by people not staking some portion of their personality on “playing dnd”

yeah i mean i 100% agree. wizards of the coast market d&d as a lifestyle brand more than as a game and cultivate an extensive cottage industry of lifestyle accessories for that brand, both with the intent of creating a walled garden of sunk cost and with the intent of getting people to invest significant parts of their self-image in the Dungeons And Dragons Brand. & of course there are DMs who put huge amounts of effort into making their games fun and enjoyable but because of the marketing people thank "D&D" for the fun they've had rather than the person who's done all the work to make it playable (there's a good thread about this). it's genuinely kind of sad to see people arguing that D&D is good and then describe something that obviously took their DM hours of work and involved creativity (often totally outside of or in direct violation of the rules) from the whole table. like! stop thanking Wizards of the damn Coast for you and your friends' creativity in your make believe! stop giving them credit, you did that!

[francesderwent]

Hello! I hope this doesn't come across as a Taylor-bashing question. While I believe that artists should be able to sing/write/create about their lived experience, there's something about the way Taylor handled mental health in this album that rubbed me the wrong way. I'll try to put it succinctly in three points: 1) TTPD seems to spill out the mental health issues/depression of Joe Alwyn, who seems like a very private person. I don't want to bring celebrity drama into this, but there's something discomfiting abot Taylor being more subtle and silent about his mental illness when they were together, and then spilling about it when they've broken up. 2) The way that she writes about mental illness/depression strikes me as hurtful. An example: "You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days." The takeaway seems to be an accusation that the subject chose his depression over her, which is...iffy. 3) The aesthetic of her album seems to be 'insanity' and 'mental torture' and, especially given the above two, it seems to be in poor taste?

I don't mean that Taylor shouldn't write about her experience about being resentful for a partner's mental illness/how they handled it, it just seems she's threading a sketchy line and I'm not sure if she handled that very well. But, I would really appreciate it if you have another way of looking at this. I do like Taylor's songs, and I appreciate your insights to them!

well first of all I sincerely love you for numbering your ask, it’s so readable and coherent. bless!! I’ll answer in order:

I think she absolutely was not any more subtle or silent about his struggles while they were together. his sadness has been all over so many of her love songs about him, using the exact same images that she brings back in ttpd. she says in hoax, “don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do”. and she talks in the long pond sessions about this for her being an example of true love, the person you want to be with in really dark times. in renegade she says “the shape of you was jagged and weak, there was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway”. a lot of what she says in ttpd is a purposeful callback to words of love she spoke in earlier songs, not undoing them, but mourning the fact they weren’t enough. mirrorball says “I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me”, So Long London says “I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe”. it’s not about airing his private business, she doesn’t give us any more details now than she did when they were in love. the only difference is in how it made her feel.

I don’t think Taylor is saying that her partner chose depression over her, or that it’s his fault for not pulling himself out of it. if we look at You’re Losing Me along with this album, I think it’s abundantly clear that the reason she left is because She Wanted To Be Married. “do something babe, say something. choose something babe, I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.” “are we really gonna talk about timing in times like these??” she wanted them to choose each other despite everything difficult and sad. and he simply never did. you can say that a huge commitment like that would be horrifically hard for a person deeply depressed, but she waited six years, and he was showing more interest in anything but her (“I’m the best thing at this party” “I founded the club she’s heard great things about” “it’s not right to be scared every day of a love affair” “fell victim to interlopers’ glances”). “is it your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to?” indeed.

I don’t think there’s any reason to assume this is merely an album aesthetic. I don’t necessarily take it as literal-diagnostic as some other commenters have, but when Taylor talks about her mental health on this album, I think we can take her pretty seriously. “how much sad did you think I had”, “am I allowed to cry”, “you don’t get to tell me about sad” are repeated through this album, but it’s not new. “I’m with you even if it makes me blue” in Paper Rings, “when my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people I ghosted stand there in the room” in Anti-Hero, “a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care” from Dear Reader. she’s suffering too. the breakdown that happens over the course of this album is not a performance, it is very very real and a long time coming.

tldr: I think she really really loved him. and she loved him while both of them were really sad. he didn’t choose depression over her, but he also didn’t choose her, and that finally broke her. she has every right to leave a relationship that’s dragging on and never going anywhere to seek somebody who wants the same life she does.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Hi!! I would love to hear your thoughts about Marius' experience of captivity and how this affects his relationship with Armand. You alluded to this in Gallows Bird and I think that's a super interesting thread to pull

[ Let me drop these two fics real quick to get it out of the way for reference sorry if this is obnoxious LOL but Gallows Bird (Marius/Armand) and The Lotus Eater (Armand/Daniel) !! ]

Asdgahsdk oh boy

I have so many deep nuanced feelings about Marius de Romanus so be patient with me while I try to sketch this all out, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!

So one thing I want to mention off the bat, which is not necessarily canon VC but is relevant to my fics and how I write, is that I process a lot of ND/ADHD stuff when I write, and this goes way back before I even knew I had ADHD. So even going back to like my earlier VC fics from like 5-6 years ago, I think I was constantly inserting traits of myself into my fics and trying to process them in the way that I thought they were just character flaws at the time. AND LIKE this is also relevant because I wrote Gallows Bird to be directly correlating to my Devil’s Minion fics. For example, in The Lotus Eater, one of my huge emotional cornerstones in that fic/me talking about my own perceived character flaws, was the “he had been careless with this boy” theme. And I repeated that in Gallows Bird on purpose to link them lol. So that example is like, I was really inspired by like how ADHD can ruin things on accident; like you don’t take care of something, miss a deadline, break something by being careless even though you DO CARE. At the time when I wrote The Lotus Eater I had no idea about ADHD so I just thought it was like this bad part of my personality that I was really struggling with. I am more forgiving of that now.

And I connect this also to Marius in Gallows Bird because like, something I really struggled with as a person is like the ND/ADHD impulse to like RELATE TO PEOPLE when they’re trying to talk, like bringing up my own experience as a way to say “Something like this happened to me too so I can empathize with you”, which is always well intentioned! And I’ve seen so much convo from ND folks that struggle with this because NT folks tend to misunderstand it as changing the subject/being narcissistic/whatever.

Anyway!!!!!!!!! Sorry for that preamble but I’m saying that like, I kind of approach writing Marius as a mix of canon & projection, because yknow it’s my fuckin story and I feel like it lol but I think like the fun of fanfic and what makes people’s styles unique and interesting is our mix of perspectives and personalities and like how we choose to fill in the blanks in canon or interpret characters, right?

Canon Marius makes a few comments when he meets Armand about how like, this is someone who is as bruised and damaged as he is, and someone who can heal him, and he feels their souls understand each other. And Canon Marius is like, arrogant enough (by his own admission!) to see the absolute HORRIFIC trauma the Armand went through and go “Oh yeah I had horrific trauma too.”

How do we compare Armand’s trauma to Marius’s trauma? Idk. No one can answer that because we all respond to trauma differently. So I think to some extent there’s some headcanon territory here of how everyone interprets Marius, and do we believe him that his trauma was SO SEVERE that it IS on par with what’s happened to Armand? Or do we believe what he went through isn’t so bad/was 1500 years ago and he’s being obnoxious by comparing the two because he should be healed by now?

I’d also ask like, to what extent is neither true/is it not that fucking deep, like is Marius simply saying “wow this looks really bad, I want to know him for centuries so he has time to grow and heal”; like perhaps Marius at this point sees his captivity & murder as this awful thing that happened to him 1500 years ago and maybe it feels sort of disconnected.

BUT I DON’T KNOW, the thing about Marius is that he’s so fucking stoic! Like I know I’ve brought it up a couple times recently but it’s because I was reading some Marcus Aurelius to put in Gallows Bird lol so using that to like fill in some blanks with Marius, he reads like someone who is constantly trying to rationalize away his own emotions. And like! IDK! Maybe beliefs about psychology are always a phases or temporary until we learn more, but reading him in 2023 I just call bullshit on that! It doesn’t work that way! So who’s to say that his 1500 year old trauma isn’t actually still very close to the surface, and who’s to say he can’t be easily retraumatized whenever it comes up because he’s never meaningfully recovered?

AND LIKE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED TRAUMA THE AFTERMATH IS SO OFTEN ABOUT JUST FINDING CONTROL OVER WHATEVER YOU CAN, NO MATTER HOW USELESS OR UNHEALTHY IT IS. And that's also the sort of central thesis of Gallows Bird; giving Armand a space to process his trauma where he's in control. And for Marius it's just really sad how often he tries to control his own personality, his own feelings, his own mask, the way people perceive him, and it's such a struggle for him that it always eventually collapses.

I want to pause here for a second too and bring up a couple old posts I’ve written so I’m not repeating myself too much LOL but let’s also consider:

Trauma Hole Theory and if vampires are stuck forever within the trauma of their turning

Marius & Armand’s equal-opposite religious trauma

Marius’s struggle with feeling emotion

I think if we start dissecting ANY vampire in VC we’ll see thematic ways that their turning has traumatized them forever, between the violence/trauma around the act itself but also whatever ways they’ve been frozen as their mortal selves. Lestat is a perpetually insecure 20 year old who can’t emotionally regulate and must prove himself to everybody, Louis is someone who didn’t want to live at all and was given eternal life rather than death, Armand is deeply wounded and fucked up but is having like 2 years of relative peace and safety. And Marius is like, older, has lived life, knows what he’s losing and gaining, and has his entire worldview shattered after spending a year resenting religious zealots only to find out that everything they believed was true.

So I bring all these points up because I don’t think there’s a simple answer or a direct correlation here. Marius recognizes that they’ve each suffered a trauma, but he hasn’t really dealt with his own in a meaningful way, therefore he is not equipped to help Armand deal with his either.

I constantly go back to when Marius hits him after they come back from Kiev and I think this really hammers it home for me—Marius is someone who wants to strangle all of his emotions into submission, and he’s really trying to believe that it’s a matter of willpower to simply NOT FEEL THINGS. So much of Marcus Aurelius is about this! AND IN SOME WAYS LIKE, YEAH THIS IS MAYBE AN ANCIENT VERSION OF CBT??? Like we do CBT to patiently teach ourselves to think differently, but it’s obviously not as easy as simply shutting your emotions off or bullying yourself out of feeling any. And he’s trying SO SO hard to be this way, and it doesn’t work, so it’s not going to work on Armand either!

And like it’s not Marius simply being a dickhead, simply being abusive; I do think he’s really trying, but he’s fucking lost! HE HAS LIVED LIES! And god it just really hurts to see him as someone who struggles with this shit and who lies to himself about it, LIKE WHO HASN’T BEEN THERE? How many of us who struggle with mental health haven’t had those moments like, those tiny glimpses seeing behind the veil and being honest with yourself, but being so fucking powerless and not knowing what to do with it.

I know I’ve personally had moments of realization like “I am going to be like this forever” and it’s SO defeating, and imagining that sentiment for someone who will LIVE FOREVER just hurts me so bad!

We see this trope in media sometimes—certainly it’s based in real life!—of parents projecting onto children, trying to correct mistakes by breaking a cycle, but which only serves to treat their child like an extension of themselves and not a whole individual. So I think of that, too—Marius seeing himself in someone who was also abducted, and even though he also plans to turn Armand, he wants it to be beautiful and gentle! (He even changes his mind about it several times before he does it in a panic because Armand is dying! {this is heavily referenced in Gallows Bird because he realizes he's fucked Armand up to much to let him live anyway.} ) He also is sorta trying to fake it till he makes it with all this emotional stuff; like even though he KNOWS he can’t simply shut emotions off, he’s still trying to teach Armand to. And going back to Marius being a lil arrogant, I think sometimes he does project himself onto other people, or treat people better if they remind him of himself. So like, projecting some wounded version of himself onto Armand to try to rescue, vs risking it all for Lestat a few centuries later because someone who reminds him of himself actually WANTS to be rescued.

The IRONY too that like he spends his whole time in captivity as a skeptic, not believing that there is a God in the Grove, and for that entity to turn out to be a vampire!!! Marius presenting HIMSELF as a god-figure to Armand, but trying to be safe and friendly about it! I don’t know man I’m really fucking hsdkjgladsghkjl upset right now lol

And after all that like, not really knowing what exactly happened to Armand to indoctrinate him into the cult, just knowing that he’s thriving with them, that he gave it all up to be their leader, is such a betrayal of everything and so traumatizing!

Gosh.

Anyway.

I DON’T’ KNOW WHERE TO START I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO END, THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKS ME UP I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION LOL

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Kicho's Main Story Chapter 7 Part 1

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. JP SPOILERS under the cut. Expect mistakes

A few days later.

Mai: “Okay! I’m done!”

I snipped the thread and unfolded the garment I had just finished sewing.

(I didn’t have enough time, but it turned out pretty good.)

(All that’s left to do is to add some minor touches and do a final check. I think I can make it in time.)

Although the work is not yet complete, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction fills my soul, bringing a smile to my lips.

(I hope he’ll be happy with the rest.)

The last time I spoke with Kicho was a few days ago when he told me about his past.

After that, he briefly summarized the story.

He met a professor at Honnoji Temple, where he learned about the wormhole and was finally able to return to the Sengoku era after three years.

The place he returned to was the same as mine on the night of the Honnoji Incident.

After telling me all that, he laid down on the bed, exhausted, and told me to get out of his room.

(Since then, we’ve been so busy that we haven’t seen each other.)

(Well, I’m sure we’ll see each other tomorrow.)

(Anyway, I gotta do what I gotta do now!)

I lightly slapped my cheeks with both hands and started working again.

Mai: “Ouch!”

I lost my focus for a moment as I pricked my finger with the needle.

(I’ve been doing this for at least two hours straight.)

(I feel like my eyes are starting to hurt from all the work I've been doing.)

Mai: "*sigh* I think I'll take a break."

I put the needle back and stretched as far as I could, when一

Subordinate's voice: "Excuse me."

Mai: "Yes, is something wrong?"

Subordinate's voice: "I heard there's a package addressed to you. Do you know anything about it?"

(Delivery?)

???: "Hello. Sarutobi Delivery at your service."

(Yes!)

Mai: "Yes, I asked for more fabric. Let him in."

Subordinate's voice: "I see. You can come in then."

With permission to enter, the door opened, and a familiar face appeared.

Sasuke: "Hi, Miss. Thank you for your patronage."

Mai: "No, not at all."

Mai: "Thank you for coming at just the right time. I really need it."

While talking casually, I listened for any noises on the other side of the door and signaled Sasuke with my fingers as soon as the footsteps moved away.

Sasuke: "Mai, it's been a few weeks."

Mai: "Yeah. How have you been?"

Sasuke: "As you can see. No matter what kind of mission I'm on, my health comes first, so I pay attention to that."

Sasuke: "Proper sleep, diet, exercise, and makibishi (metal spikes) are crucial."

Mai: "Does the last one have anything to do with health?"

Sasuke: "Of course, just having these things makes a huge difference in how I feel. How about you?"

Mai: "Hehe, I'm okay."

Mai: "By the way, the fact that you came like this today means..."

Sasuke: “Just as you expect. I have a message from Mitsuhide for you.”

Mai: “I see, so you got to meet him safely. Thank you for doing this.”

Sasuke: “You’re welcome.”

Sasuke: “This may sound personal, but I’m grateful I got to talk to Mitsuhide Akechi in person. So don’t worry about it.”

(His eyes are twinkling.)

(Sasuke is really tough in this way.)

Sasuke: “Let’s get down to business.”

Sasuke: “Mai, you need to get out of this place.”

Mai: “Huh?”

Fuku: “This way.”

Mai: “Yeah, thanks for showing me the way.”

I was on my way to Kicho’s room after catching Fuku as he tried to escape.

Fuku: “Kicho.”

Mai: “It’s gonna be okay. Let’s go back to your room first.”

(Her chirping is somewhat listless. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t been able to spend much time with Kicho.)

(Well, it’s normal to miss the person you love. I miss him too.)

(Wait, what the hell am I thinking?)

I need to concentrate and drive the feelings that keep popping up in my heart.

(I should never feel lonely.)

(After all, I will be his enemy soon.)

------------Flashback------------

Sasuke: “Mai, you need to get out of this place.”

Mai: “Huh?”

Sasuke: “Mitsuhide told me that things had changed while you were here.”

Sasuke: “I think it’s true because it was consistent with the information I had gotten from Kasugayama.”

Mai: “What do you mean by ‘things’?”

Sasuke: “Recently, the rebellions suddenly calmed down.”

Sasuke: “There are almost no skirmishes happening, and Japan is eerily quiet right now.”

Mai: “That can’t be a good thing, right?”

Mai: “Is someone else behind it?”

Sasuke: “Yeah. There must be something going on.”

Sasuke: “It looks like the Oda forces intend to capture Kicho before he can attack them.”

Mai: “Capture!?”

(Capturing Kicho?)

Sasuke: “Mai, are you okay?”

Mai: “Yes, of course.”

He looked at me worriedly, seeing my reaction, and I nodded, pretending that nothing was wrong.

Sasuke: “Anyway, you’ll be in danger if you stay here.”

Sasuke: “We don’t know what might happen, and he might take you as a hostage.”

Sasuke: "They'll execute the plan tomorrow night. You need to escape with Mitsuhide."

Mai: "Tomorrow? That's just too sudden."

Sasuke: "Yeah, but it's much better than taking our time to make a plan."

Sasuke: "You, of all people, should know better that we're dealing with the enemy here. It's better to move before he senses we're on to him."

Mai: "Okay."

---------Flashback Ends---------

(Midnight, huh?)

(Normally, I would be in my room after work, but tomorrow...)

Mai: "I hope the party will be a success."

The same day, time of the boar (9-11 p.m.)

Motonari: “So, everything is pretty much as planned.”

Kicho: “I see. No problems here, either. We’re moving forward with the plans I previously told you about.”

Kicho: “The first ship will arrive tomorrow morning to unload.”

Motonari: “Yeah, I know. If they leave right away, they can make it in time.”

Motonari: “But you’re right. We should have had that thing if we’re going to stock that many.”

Kicho: “What are you talking about?”

Motonari: “Air transportation. Well, I’m sure a ship can carry more than a bird (plane) can.”

Motonari: “Or is there some other way to get around in this world that I don’t know about?”

Kicho: “There is no point explaining it to you. In any case, it’s not possible in this era.”

Motonari: “This era, huh?”

Kicho: “Why are you suddenly saying this? You weren’t interested before.”

Motonari: “Yeah, not one bit.”

Motonari: “You’re always talking nonsense like you’ve really seen it with your own eyes, but...”

Motonari cut off his words and lit the cigar he had taken out. Then, as the tip of the cigar lit up with the same color as his eyes, a thin wisp of smoke rose.

Motonari: “Lately, you’ve stopped talking about this nonsense.”

Motonari: “You’re acting strange today, too.”

Kicho: “..............”

Kicho said nothing and pushed the ashtray quietly toward Motonari, who sighed and blew out the smoke.

Motonari: “I’m telling you, the only reason I’m working with you is that we have the same goals.”

Motonari: “If you ever start acting weird, you know what will happen, right?”

Kicho: “Of course. I’ve come this far. I have no intention of twisting the cause I’ve set forward.”

Kicho: “Besides, I’m no different from you. If you were in my way, I would have taken care of you long ago.”

Motonari: “Ha! Sure.”

With a satisfied grin, Motonari pushed his cigar into the ashtray and stood up.

Motonari: “That’s the end of this pain in the ass talk. I’ll still be your partner for now.”

Motonari: “Let’s watch the grand march in the same hell.”

Kicho: “Yeah.”

After Motonari left, Kicho remained alone in the room and stared at the ashtray.

The remaining cigar was no longer lit and only slightly charred at the tip, but when shaken by the slightest breeze, it started burning red again.

At the same time, in Sakai.

Messenger: "These are the instructions from Lord Nobunaga."

Mitsuhide: "I understand."

Messenger: "Well, I'll be going now."

As the messenger quickly left into the night, a man appeared in his place.

Sasuke: "Mitsuhide, good evening."

Sasuke: "I told Mai about what you said."

Mitsuhide: "I see. Sorry for the trouble."

Mitsuhide: "By the way, why are you dressed like a ninja?"

Sasuke: "Because I'm a ninja. I received an order from the top to return home, so I have to leave this town."

Mitsuhide: "I see. But still, I never thought she knew someone from Kasugayama."

Sasuke: "No matter where we are, we're still friends and from the same hometown."

Mitsuhide: "Same hometown, huh?"

Sasuke: "Yes. I can't go into details, though."

Mitsuhide: "Did you know you can get information using torture?"

Sasuke: "My apologies."

Mitsuhide: "I'm kidding. If anyone can make up for that girl's ambiguity, so be it."

Sasuke: "Mitsuhide. Please take care of Mai."

Mitsuhide: "Yeah, you don't have to tell me. That's what I'm here for."

The Next Day

I was cleaning the area around the entrance in the early afternoon.

Mai: "Hmm. What should I do?"

Sweeping over the cobblestones with my broom, I glanced at the upstairs window.

(I wonder if Kicho is in his room today.)

(I want to deliver it after cleaning this, but I might annoy him if I give it to him out of the blue.)

Last night, after much worrying, I managed to complete the outfit.

However, I still couldn’t decide how to give it to him.

(No, maybe I’m not worried about giving him the clothes. Maybe I’m afraid of meeting him.)

(Because today...)

Kicho’s subordinate: “Hey, Lady Mai!”

Mai: “Y-Yes!”

I turned around to see Kicho’s men beckoning me through the entrance of the trading post.

Kicho’s subordinate: “Lord Kicho wants to see you.”

Mai: “Ehh!?”

Mai: “E-Excuse me.”

Kicho: “You’re here.”

He was standing by the window when I entered the room.

He then looked at me and shifted his gaze to the package I was carrying.

Kicho: “What’s that?”

Mai: “Um, I made you this outfit.”

Kicho: “Outfit?”

Mai: “Yup. A foreign style outfit for today’s party.”

Mai: “Oh, but don't worry. I’m not forcing you to wear it.”

I quickly said this and put it on the desk.

(I don’t have much time to prepare myself for this, but I think it’s better than not giving it to him.)

Kicho: “I see. You beat me to it.”

Mai: “Beat you to it?”

He walked towards the corner of the room and removed the cloth, hanging on to something, revealing a magnificent dress.

Mai: “Wow! It’s beautiful.”

Kicho: “I called you here to give you this.”

Kicho: “Since it’s a party, you can dress up to your heart’s content tonight.”

Mai: “Are you sure you want me to join the party?”

Kicho: “I’m not forcing you to do this, but I need a companion tonight. That’s why I’m inviting you.”

(Is that?)

My heart beats faster as I get the meaning of his words.

(I’m not gonna change my mind now, but I want to be with him as much as possible.)

Mai: “Are you sure about this?”

Kicho: “Do you want me to say no?”

Mai: “No.”

Kicho: “Me neither. I don’t want you to say that to me.”

Kicho: “So much so that I cut off your escape route first with this dress.”

(Kicho...)

Mai: “Then, by all means, please.”

Kicho prepared not only the dress but also the shoes and hair accessories.

Just as I returned to my room and finished putting it all on, someone knocked on my door.

Kicho’s voice: “Mai, I’m coming in.”

Mai: “Sure.”

(Wow...)

I blinked a few times when I saw him enter the room.

Kicho: “How is it?”

Mai: “You look really cool.”

(I designed it myself, but it’s more powerful than I ever imagined.)

Mai: “The colors are perfect for you. It’s really nice.”

Kicho: “I was asking about your dress. It looks like I didn't say it properly.”

Mai: “What?”

Kicho: “First of all, let me thank you. I guess you went out of your way to prepare this for me, even though you have other work to do.”

Kicho: “I could tell how good you are when I put the sleeves on. You’re very meticulous in your work.”

Mai: “Thank you. I’m glad to hear you say so.”

(It’s been a while since I’ve had someone wear and be happy with the clothes I made.)

(I’m really happy.)

As I reflect on my feelings, I realize again that I love doing this.

(Even after coming to the Sengoku period, I’m still me.)

Mai: “Right. Let me thank you too.”

Mai: “Thank you for the beautiful dress. It fits me perfectly and is very comfortable.”

The dress, like those worn by fairytale princesses, was elegantly colored in white, and the hem was made of a generous layer of fabric that, even with the slightest movement, fluffed up.

The waistline was also tight, making me straighten up my back unconsciously.

Kicho: “I’m glad you like it. Now, let’s move on to the finishing touches.”

Mai: “Huh? Finishing touches?”

He placed a wooden box on the table he had brought from his room, opened the lid, and I saw some cosmetic kit inside.

(What on earth?)

Kicho: “Sit on the chair over there.”

Mai: “Okay.”

I sat down, and he stared at me while carefully taking out the makeup kit one at a time and placing it carefully on my skin.

Mai: “You know how to put on makeup?”

Kicho: “Yes, my sister taught me.”

Kicho: “Not only makeup but also how to dress, behave, and everything else so that I can live as a woman.”

Mai: “Your sister really cared about you.”

Kicho: “I wonder about that.”

Mai: “You’re very gentle with your hands. I can tell that you’re taking good care of me right now.”

Kicho: “I see. Well, it’s only natural.”

His long fingertips lifted my chin.

Kicho: “I cherish you. I can assure you that much.”

Mai: “............”

Previous╏Kicho's POV╏Next

[icey--stars]

Stories To Be Told: PART 18

Series Index

A shadowsinger, a warrior, an Illyrian, that's what she was. Trained by one of the most formidable female warriors. Escaped the Illyrian camps and her clipping when she was barely sixteen and is now the holder of 6 siphons. What happens when she tries to sneak into the City of Starlight? And starts down a whole new road of chaos?

a/n: ya’ll just gonna have to deal as i make y/n more of an oc without a name lmAO, im enjoying this characterization. bit longer part too! enjoy <3

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

“Alright! First order of business,” Mor announced to everyone. “We’ve got to find a dress–or something else–and jewelry!”

I smiled faintly. I didn’t know Mor very well, but it seemed someone must’ve told her that I didn’t really like dresses too much. Luckily, I did also have some money I could use to splurge a bit like this. I never did spend too much of my earnings from the docks. The House was luxurious, and all I’d had to do was find some clothing, and someone willing to put wing slits into it, or do it myself haphazardly.

Mor pulled Emerie to her side by her waist, and I saw a small blush creep onto the Illyrian female’s face. I shot a cheeky grin in her direction. Her blush only deepened when she caught my eye.

We walked through the streets of Velaris, heading for the Palace of Thread and Jewels. I’d foregone my leathers today, instead in a simple undershirt and leggings. But I did still carry a weapon.

“Alright, this is my personal favorite boutique,” Mor said, stopping in front of a window that had a beautiful navy blue dress on show. “I’m sure we can all find something here of interest.”

The bell rang as Mor barged in, startling a few of the people already inside. A brown-haired female came walking toward us with a huge smile on her face. “Mor! It’s so great to see you again! Here for Starfall?”

“You know me so well Isa,” Mor replied, grinning from ear to ear. “I have a couple friends.”

“Ah yes,” Isa focused her gaze on us. “Nesta, it’s great to see you again. Gwyn and Emerie! I’m so happy to have you here…” When her gaze fell on me, her gaze scrunched up in confusion. “You’re new… What's your name?”

“Y/N,” I answered, shoulders folding in. I felt so out of place with all the finery in this place. It made me feel as if I had to be small. I pulled my wings in tighter as Isa came walking over, holding out a hand.

I took it, shaking gently. “I’m Isa!”

I smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Great. Mor, straight to the red section. Nesta, how would you feel about navy blue? Emerie… you follow Mor. An orange might look good… or cream? Yes… Gwyn, straight to the blue section. Pick out a couple things and I’ll help you out. But first I plan to assist the absolutely stunning Y/N pick something out,” Isa directed, pointing in the direction of each color. I saw Nesta wink at me before wandering off in the direction of what I assumed to be the blue section.

“So! Y/N,” Isa regarded. “Tell me what you’ve looked good in in the past. Colors?”

I winced. “I don’t like wearing dresses,” I said plainly. “Makes me feel trapped.”

Isa’s smile didn’t falter. “That’s fine sweetheart. We’ve got loads of other options! Are you not too experienced with clothing?”

“Not really,” I admitted. A life full of running and only training to fight would do that to you.

“Great, that means I get to have more fun with you. How about we… hmm. Actually, I might have the perfect thing already. I designed it personally… yes. Yes, follow me,” Isa ordered, turning to walk farther back into the store. I passed Mor who was looking at two different styled red dresses. One with an off shoulder neckline and the other sweetheart. She was holding them up for Emerie, probably asking which looked better. Emerie’s blush had not gone away in the slightest, and for some reason, that filled me with a giddy sort of joy.

I quickly followed after Isa, not willing to fall behind too far. Isa took me into a back corner, covered by a velvet curtain.

“So, I’m not one-hundred percent sure you’ll like it or it’ll look good… but here it is,” Isa said, side-stepping to reveal a manikin covered in a dark gray fabric.

“I’ve been looking into stylish non-dress options,” Isa explained, letting me observe the clothing.

It was a near-skin-tight polyester long-sleeved shirt with a high collar and swirling silver embroidery covering the upper part, before swirling down the sides of the shirt, ending just above your hip bones. At the shoulders, two separate capes came down to about what would probably be mid-calf, that were made of a tightly-woven, clear, gray lace. It was paired with equally gray high waist leggings where the silver embroidery followed down the sides of the legs.

“I could probably put in some wing slits in easily. Might need to find someone who’s made wing slits before… but what do you think?” Isa asked, looking at me hopefully when I met her beautiful amber eyes.

I looked back to it for a moment before a grin broke out on my face. “I think I’d love it. It’s beautiful,” I complimented.

Isa grinned wide immediately at my approval. “Oh! I’m so glad, I was worried! I was searching for someone with slightly darker skin to wear it, if anyone at all… and you’re an Illyrian so it just worked out so well! It’ll match you so well.”

“Emerie might be able to help you with wing slits,” I offered. “If not, I can certainly try.”

She nodded, listening intently. “I’ll definitely ask her. She makes sense to ask, since she has wings!”

“How much do you think it’ll cost me?” I asked curiously.

She listed a price that was surely too low for something that seemed so beautiful. Way below what I was expecting to spend to be honest.

A squeal sounded from the other room and I pivoted immediately, shoving my head out of the curtain to look around, heart rate picking up.

I saw Mor holding Emerie in a hug and I raised a brow, seeing no danger. I walked toward them, hearing footsteps telling me Isa had followed me out. 

“Mor? Emerie? Everything okay?” I asked. I saw Nesta and Gwyn also walking over, probably equally as startled as I was.

Mor turned to me, a huge grin on her face. “Oh nothing,” she lied. “Emerie just agreed to be my date for Starfall.”

My eyebrows shot up, eyes widening. Emerie squealed again, and I recognized the tone as excited. “Mor! You could’ve asked me months ago and I still would’ve gone with you!” Emerie exclaimed, dragging the female into another hug.

I smiled warmly. “I wasn’t aware…” I trailed off, not sure how to put it.

“Oh yeah,” Mor sighed, shoulders falling. “I prefer females. I’ve been meaning to tell everyone… but I was worried.”

“Don’t be-” Gwyn immediately protested. “I certainly don't care. I have numerous friends who enjoy the company of females and males or one or the other!”

I nodded in agreement. “I haven’t exactly… explored anything, but I always did find both appealing,” I admitted.

“You and me both, sister,” Emerie said, grinning wildly. “What did Isa show you?”

I smirked. “Come see,” I prompted, waving her over toward the curtained area.

Emerie gasped when she saw it, turning back to me. “That’s perfect!” She shrieked, running forward to run her hands along the fabric and embroidery. “Oh it’s so pretty…” she cooed. “Is that a cape!?”

Isa was clearly also enjoying this as she chuckled and moved forward, lifting the right cape to show Emerie. “I was hoping you might be able to help me make wing slits.”

Emerie nodded. “I can do that quickly and show you where to sew in clasps real quick.”

“Nonsense!” Isa exclaimed. “Go pick yourself a dress first.”

I wandered back over to where Nesta was scanning two different styled dresses, one a dark navy blue and the other being a sky blue. Gwyn was staring at a peach and sky blue as well, in a different style than the one Nesta had chosen out.

“Need help deciding?” I asked, walking up to Nesta’s side.

Nesta nodded, “Please, I can’t tell which one will look better. I look good in all blues! It’s an issue.”

“What’s Cassian’s favorite color?” I asked curiously.

“He doesn’t give a fuck. Red maybe? I don’t know, he likes the night sky and that’s all I know about his favorite color,” Nesta said. “He doesn’t realize how hard he makes this for me.”

I chuckled in amusement at her frustration, and took the sky blue one from Nesta, holding it to her torso. Nesta wordlessly handed me the navy blue one when I held out a hand.

“Navy one, or find something silver,” I said. “But I definitely think the navy one would match you better. But you’d better try them both on.”

Nesta nodded, holding both the dresses close when I handed them back. “You’re a lifesaver Y/N. Now go sit over there near the mirrors while I try these on. You’re now officially the person I’m asking the opinion of.”

I scoffed. “Nesta, I don’t know dresses that well. Gwyn-”

“Too bad,” Nesta snickered. “You’ve been chosen.”

I rolled my eyes, smiling. “Fine.”

Nesta tried them both on, and the navy one still ended up looking a lot better on her. Gwyn picked her sky blue one, and Mor returned with the off-shoulder red dress, and Emerie ended up picking out a beautiful rusted orange dress with criss-crossing straps going up to a collar around the neck.

“Now!” Emerie said, setting down her dress beside the others’. “Wing slits, come on Y/N, I might need your measurements.”

I followed after her, jogging slightly toward Isa who’d moved the manakin out of the curtains and into plain view.

“Now, this fabric is quite stretchy, so it’ll fit most body styles. So we don’t need to worry about that,” Isa explained. “The leggings are the same. The issue is, I have no idea how wing slits work.”

I turned around, spreading my wings out a bit to let her view the slits I had in the shirt I had on right now. “I did these myself,” I explained. “It’s just mostly an oval around the wings cut out, with a line per oval down to the end where clasps can clamp it together.”

“Zippers sometimes work too, but it has to be a small one where it won’t chafe the wings,” Emerie added. “Say, Y/N,” She said. “What if we got one of your other shirts? And used it for measurements?”

“That’d work,” I replied. “I can go grab that… like 15 minutes? Maybe longer?”

Isa nodded. “Yes, yes, that’d be so helpful. Emerie, could you also show me your shirt? Just to see how they look against the skin.”

Emerie nodded, turning.

“Spread your wings a bit?” Isa requested.

I saw Mor pop up out of nowhere. “I’ll help,” she said, whispering something in Emerie’s ear before I saw her grabbing onto the claws at the apex of Emerie’s wings. I tried to keep my eyes from widening in shock. Isa examined the shirt before turning away. When Mor let go of Emerie’s wings, I saw the female Illyrian let out a swift breath.

-----

After bringing back one of my more… well stitched shirts, Isa promised to have it done tonight, so I can pick it up tomorrow morning. My sisters eagerly ushered me into the jewelry store next.

“Come on! Y/N! You have piercings, we’re getting you earrings!” Mor dragged me into the nearest store, with Nesta cackling delightfully behind me, shoving my thighs with her knee.

As soon as I was in, I had no choice but to stay when the store owner greeted us all gleefully.

“Welcome! I’m Meri, how can I help you gals today?” The owner introduced themselves, walking out from behind the cabinet and smoothly darting past all  the little displays of different types of jewelry.

Mor grinned. “Mer, we have a friend here who has no idea how pretty jewelry will make her and we definitely need to get her something.”

Meri’s face lit up in pure joy. And set her sights on me immediately. “I can definitely help with that. I’m assuming this is for Starfall?”

Emerie nodded.

Meri smirked. “Come here,” she ordered. “I trust you all are more experienced?”

“Oh yes,” Nesta replied. “We’ve got it covered. Y/N, you go with Meri, and find something pretty.”

I blushed, and followed after Meri immediately, pulling in my wings tightly and trying to be conscious of where my back ended up.

“Now, I see you have 4 loops, how about we find some earrings first?” Meri asked, leading me through the small corner store easily.

“Sure,” I said, trying to hold back my shaky voice.

“How do you feel about chains hanging in between?”

“Uhm…” I hesitated. “Maybe?”

“Good enough,” Meri chuckled. “How about you take out those loops and start browsing this section? I’ve got to find one particular piece I have that I think will be perfect for you.”

I nodded, obediently pulling out the loops and sliding them into a small pocket on my pants. The earrings Meri had set me in front of were little crystals with chains in between, meant to hang between two different piercings.

I picked up the first one that looked interesting. A sapphire decorated one with a dark metal holding it in place and a similarly colored chain in between. It looked like a similar color to Azriel’s siphons.

My thoughts paused. Why did I care if it matched the color of his siphons? And yet I still kept a hold of the earring. I tried to convince myself it was because it would easily match the gray and silver of my outfit for Starfall.

“Alright!” Meri announced herself. “I found it.”

She held out her palm, revealing an ear cuff with Illyrian wings. One piercing went through one of my lower ear ones, and then a piece of metal looped around the back of my ear to create a second wing just over the crest of my ear.

I picked it up, staring at it with interest.

“Oh, and that sapphire…” she hummed, noticing the other earring I had a hold of. “That’s perfect.”

I smiled at her approval.

“I agree, get them both.” Nesta’s voice made me jump as I turned around to look at her. “The blue matches the gray well and the Illyrian ear cuff is just so you.”

I smiled. “Alright, fine,” I conceded.

“Try it on!” Meri urged. “I can clean it off if you don’t want it.”

I nodded, popping open the package the sapphire one was in and easily sliding it into the hole in my ear. One went in my lowest piercing, the other in my second to highest. The dark chain hung just below the end of my ear. 

“Yes,” Gwyn said, staring at me from where she’d walked into the aisle. “Yes. Y/N, that is perfect.”

I smiled, blushing a bit at the compliment. I slid the ear cuff in next and got the same praise from Emerie and Mor. I had a feeling they’d all been curiously watching or listening in on me. I popped in the loops into the remaining piercings I had open and looked up again, almost flinching when the chain came back to hit my ear. I’d have to get used to that, I thought to myself.

“Want anything else?” Meri asked. “I could find some smaller things to fit in the other places.”

I shook my head. “I think this will satisfy me for now.”

Meri nodded in understanding. Nesta handed me a necklace with an amethyst sphere with metal swirls going around it.

Once everyone had everything they wanted and we’d paid, they also forced me to get some small navy blue heels with little support, and I’d almost stumbled in them in the store, but Nesta promised to help me get used to them before Starfall with all the dancing.

Returning to the House was a step-by-step process, with Cassian and Azriel busy with something apparently, I had to take turns carrying everyone into the House.

“Right, tomorrow morning everyone,” Nesta ordered. “We all meet and help each other get ready, got it? Y/N, you’re with me for dancing practice in those heels.”

I almost groaned. Almost.

-----

“Never thought I’d see you in heels,” Azriel’s taunting voice echoed in the hallway. Nesta had just left, and as I was about to lean down and take off the torture devices, Azriel had appeared.

I rolled my eyes. “Nesta insisted,” I reasoned. “I blame her. These things are dangerous.”

“Hmm, and new earrings,” he noted. “They look good.”

I pressed my back against the wall, lifting a foot to peel off the heel and stand barefoot. I sighed as my feet were allowed to stop suffering.

“How was shopping with everyone?” Azriel asked, leaning a shoulder against the wall casually. “Find what you were looking for?”

“I did,” I answered. “Shoes, jewelry and an outfit.”

“Oh?” Azriel asked. “What’s the outfit look like?”

“You’ll have to see like you will any of them,” I chuckled. “Is patience a quality you lack, spymaster?”

I didn’t know where the sudden confidence boost to taunt Azriel had come from, but I was definitely enjoying it.

“Oh I can be as patient as I want,” He replied, smirking. For some reason, I felt like that had a very particular hidden meaning. “Especially with someone as beautiful as you.”

I blushed. I hadn’t heard him compliment me before like that. So openly. “Shut up,” was the best response I could come up with.

His chuckle was deep, reverating throughout his chest before it came out of his throat. “Very well, see you tomorrow.”

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

TAGLIST (see post for getting added)

@mis-lil-red, @bunnymallowo, @judig92, @biblophilefox82, @azzydaddy, @thegirlintheshadows101, @whatupmydudes01, @feyres-fireheart, @elizarikaallen, @xenlynn, @panzees-bizarre-adventures, @starswholistenanddreamsanswered, @baebeepeach, @nyctophiliiiiaaa, @brekkershadowsinger, @officiallyunofficialperson, @bookslut420, @margssstuff, @bluephoenix908, @goldentournesol, @rebloggiest-reblogger, @inpraizeof,

[showtoonzfan]

If you’re not familiar with the musical “Ride The Cyclone” and it’s current script situation with one of its main characters, this post is not for you! Thank you!

So I understand the “Ride the Cyclone” Fandom is really upset, including me ESPECIALLY and we all have a right to be, but I think at the same time, we all need to realize these four things regarding the “Ricky Potts script change” situation: Keep in mind I am NOT disabled so I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I do want to share important things that I think most of the fandom needs to acknowledge:

Despite the change being an unnecessary piss poor decision and a HUGE downgrade compared to what the script was like before, we need to acknowledge that Ricky STILL has a disability. He may not have the same one he had before, but being mute from trauma is in fact a disability. I say this because everyone keeps saying he’s no longer disabled and that’s just not true. Again, it was still a bad change but his disability wasn’t completely erased like everyone keeps saying.

Disability representation in theater and casting more actors with said disability’s is something that NEEDS to be spoken up about, but harassing the creators and actors are NOT the way to do it. If you’re just telling the crew to off themselves and painting them as one note monsters, that is not getting anyone anywhere, and not helping.

Speaking of portraying people as one note, some of y’all honestly need to stop painting Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond (the writers of the original script) as irredeemable monsters. Again, this issue in theater is something that desperately NEEDS to be spoken up about, and voices need to be heard, but as much as I hate to say it, we really DON’T know all the details on why the script was changed. We don’t know what was going through the writers heads, we DON’T know the full story, so seeing everyone say the writers changed it simply because they were ableist and nothing else are just jumping to conclusions way too early. Regardless if you think they’re truly ableist or not, regardless if you’ve lost all respect for them, these writers are still PEOPLE at the end of the day, and people make mistakes. There is always room to grow, there is always room to learn and improve. We need to actually speak up and inform them that this change was not a good one, instead of just screaming at them, sending threats and calling them ableist pieces of shit, something that I’ve seen SO many people do and it’s an issue. It’s hard to actually IMPROVE yourself when everyone is just calling you bad names and not seeing you as a layered person.

At this point of making this post, people really need to stop arguing with Kholby Wardwell (actor for Noel Gruber) on twitter. I don’t care if you like him, I don’t care if you don’t like him……STOP….arguing with him. I shouldn’t say everyone is, but there are a few, and there’s no point guys, stop harassing him. He’s made it clear on how he feels about all of this, and its obvious at this point, nobody can change his mind on his viewpoints. People also need to stop calling him ableist as well, because if you’ve read his twitter thread, you can tell he never had malicious intent. Of course I’m not excusing some of the way he worded or said things, but again, these issues for the RTC crew as a whole need to stop being viewed with a one note lens. While it’s not hard to say “theater needs to hire more disabled actors and make it accessible for them”- it’s ALSO not hard to NOT see everything as black and white, mainly the motivations behind the writers and actors. These are all things that need to coexist within the fandom, and people also need to stop pressuring the others to speak on this subject. Again, when you speak up about an important subject matter like this, doing it with aggression is not the way to go.

With all of that said, this script change has heavily disappointed me, even hurt me. I personally thought it was perfectly okay for Ricky to be a kid who got a degenerate disease at 6 years old and lost his ability to walk and talk, but somehow the writers felt the need to change it. It was unnecessary in my opinion, because I felt like the script wasn’t really the issue, it was casting able bodied actors as disabled characters, and getting rid of Ricky’s crutches five minutes into the show. That, as well as treating his disability as a joke, mainly the comments by Ocean. These were all criticisms the show has gotten over the years, so it hurts to see that what we got was the writers idea of “improving” that. Instead of “improving” it however, it felt more like they erased the issue so they wouldn’t get controversy and could avoid the problem, without putting in the effort. HOWEVER, despite that I don’t truly feel like that was the writers intentions. For now, I’ll give the writers the benefit of the doubt, because I do believe that they truly felt like they were helping and encouraging the disabled community, even if the outcome didn’t turn up that way. Again, we STILL don’t know the full story, so I sincerely hope Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond come out with an official statement soon giving us the full insight to why they did what they did, since the new script has gotten so much backlash. It’s clear this change has done more harm than good, and with respect, I hope the writers can be educated and more open minded to why their idea wasn’t the best at all. I have always praised the writing of this musical, I haven’t been in the fandom that long but it has become one of my current favorite musicals of all time, and Ricky Potts has always been a character I adored, and he deserves SO much better. For all of this to happen because of one huge fuckup, hurts. At the end of the day, we all want the same thing. We all want disabled people to be treated like human beings, with respect, and have more accessibility, not just in theater, but EVERYWHERE. We all have a right to be mad, we all have a right to speak up, and I just hope that as a society we all can educate one another without it being taken too far. I sincerely wish the fandom, the writers, everyone, can bounce back from all of this, and society improves as a whole when it comes to the disabled. I will still continue to enjoy Ride the Cyclone, and watch it over and over because no script change can get in the way of my enjoyment of the show. With that said, things NEED to change, and I especially hope the Mccarter Theater gets the consequences to their horrendous action of illegally firing it’s only disabled actor. With that said, feel free to say your thoughts, feel free to disagree, I just needed to get this all out. Thank you for reading.

[twosides--samecoin]

also, unsure if you ever read pokemon fic, but if you appreciate music informing the reader of a character's personality and diegetic music, you may enjoy "make you suffer" by girllikesubstance on ao3. i certainly did! it's written like an action movie but with solid characterization; i literally cannot recommend the author's work enough.

Oh, I have not, thank you for the recommendation!

"Diegetic music", for anyone who's never heard of it, refers to any in-universe music or lyric that is interacted with or acknowledged by the characters. The musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is entirely diegetic music, performed by the characters; however the intro theme of that show is not.

I consider music a main character in the fic. It started with choosing song titles for chapters and the fic title, then it snowballed into, "How do I indicate to the reader Music Is Happening in a natural way that doesn't always need me introducing, like, 'a guitar rang out/a solemn voice sang', etc?" How do you solve the characters hearing what the reader can only, well, read? Sure, I have some playlists on Spotify to follow along, but as Marshall McLuhan said, "the medium is the message". It must be clear in the writing that music is playing. A new voice has entered the room.

One of my favourite novels is Ulysses by James Joyce. He had a masterful talent for cacophony and onomatopoeia. Several threads of conversations and voices and thoughts all happening at you on one page. And he just goes for it.

I chose to solve the problem by having my own style guide. Lyrics just happen as though they're a person speaking, they're just italicized to indicate it's a recording. Here's an excerpt of one of the most successful examples of diegetic music I have written in the fic, from the chapter Thunder Road.

The radio DJ’s voice interrupted the silence. “Hi, it’s Delia, we got the weather monitor fixed. It’s only a few degrees below freezing tonight and I’m not in a sour mood anymore, so.. Here’s a favorite, for my favorite. Here’s Thunder Road.”  Olivia’s eyes widened as harmonica and piano played together. She turned towards the radio. “Are you serious right now?”  “What?” RJ asked.  "..The screen door slams, Mary's dress sways. Like a vision, she dances across the porch as the radio plays.." Jack smiled. He knew what this song was about and wondered just how well she knew it. He caught Olivia’s eye as she turned away from the radio. RJ saw Jack’s shit-eating grin and knew it meant he figured something out with her. A smile that could mean he was having fun, or he could checkmate you.  The same glance Olivia and Jack shared about him earlier. "..Roy Orbison singing for the lonely, 'Hey that's me and I want you only,' Don't turn me home again, I just can't face myself alone again.." “I- what, why are you looking at me like that-”  “Good song, huh?” he responded, smiling at her. "..Don't run back inside, darling, you know just what I'm here for.." RJ didn’t quite understand what Jack was getting at. The radio was low enough that he could hear the music, but the lyrics were harder to hear from across the room.  “Bruce fan?” Jack asked her. “Yeah, um.. I like him.” Jack’s heart melted. “My wife, Nora, was a huge fan. We have the first seven albums on one holotape,”  “Wait, no way-”  "..So you're scared, and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore.." “Yeah, way. How many Bruce albums you got in this vault, huh?”  “I don’t,” Olivia told him, looking almost apologetic. “I only get to hear Bruce when he’s on the radio.” 

[youmissedone]

i found this amazing art and it made me think of your account ! your resi muses are canon for me and i want to pass on the positivity . so my question for the mun is do you have any muses who are canon for you , or if not what are some muses / threads you are currently enjoying ?

also, a question for Carlos, what’s something you like about each of your girlfriends / ships ?

__________

{out of ammo} That is gorgeous art, omg. And oh wow, my muses are canon for you? That’s a huge compliment, thank you for taking the time to tell me so! =D

For a number of years, I considered @realprojectalice’s Alice to be my canon. She was the first Alice I wrote any of my muses with when I started writing in the Resident Evil fandom years ago, and the portrayal was so detailed and true to the character. I remember we has so many threads that were just going through our wish lists of all the different AUs, decisions that could’ve gone differently, characters that could have survived, etc., indulging ourselves in complex and interesting what-ifs. We don’t write together as often anymore, but for me, some of those early threads I wrote with Alice’s mun really helped to shape my own canon for my muses too.

As for threads I enjoy... this is going to sound like such a cheesy answer, but I honestly enjoy all of them! I’ve had a lot of fun on my RE blogs over the years with all sorts of AUs and what-ifs, new ships and unlikely pairings, angst and fluff. If I didn’t enjoy almost everything I was writing, then I wouldn’t 

And now I’ll let Carlos answer your question below. =)

- - - - - 

Carlos x Alice (Anderson verse)(@mxrvelouscreations, @realprojectalice​)

“Alice is one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, and I admire her for that. But everyone has their moments when they need some help, or some comfort, and I enjoyed being there for her when she did. We made a good team, a strong team, but I’m a protector by nature, and being there for Alice when she let me be, when she maybe wouldn’t let anyone else be, I considered that an honor. She wasn’t always the easiest person to love, but that didn’t stop me. Even after she left, I still cared.”

Carlos x Ada (game verse)(Ada Anon)

“You know sometimes I wonder if anything I know about Ada is actually true? But it doesn’t matter. Her name could be wrong, all the stories she told me, maybe she never even worked for Umbrella in the first place. I can still see the person she is underneath all that, and I care a lot about that person. She makes it damn hard to do that,” he chuckled a bit, “but I’m gonna love her anyway. She’s got a good heart under all the bullshit, and that’s what I stick around for.”

Carlos x Wanda (Anderson verse)(@illbringthechaosmagic)

“There’s a grace and beauty about Wanda that’s intoxicating. She always made me smile, just by being in her presence. We didn’t start off on the best of feet but thank god for second chances, right? We really connected with each other, and with wanting to leave our pasts behind to start over again. I’d like to think I’ve helped her do that, and she’s certainly helped me in return, whether she realizes it or not. Sometimes she’s unsure of herself, but I see so much in her, and I won’t stop until she’s able to see herself more through my eyes.”

Carlos x Leah (Anderson verse)(@mxrvelouscreations)

“Leah has an infectious smile. I mean that in the romantic sense, not the viral sense, of course. Every time she smiles, I find myself doing the same, it’s impossible not to. She has a great energy about her, very light, cute, and funny. Humor is a big thing with me, so I really appreciate when a woman takes my bad jokes and fires right back at me with her own. It’s sexy, trust me. Sure, she’s got her problems, just like anybody else, but I wanna be there for her to help her out with them. I wanna be the person she feels she can go to with anything. I deeply care for Leah, and I hope she feels the same about me.”

[mynameiseno]

Felt like writing a reminder on how to improve since I find myself feeling inadequate often. (I even made a short film about it). Might delete later. This is solely from my own experience. It’s easy to get discouraged when looking at work you’re making. For years this would lead to me to not even attempt to improve (or even draw, I sometimes wouldn’t for months) . I would find workarounds, or not work at all. It added a huge amount of pressure to do good. I’d often find myself comparing my work to others, peers, people I looked up to, plus I’d be very harsh on my own work. I feel like I’ve gotten alot better. Some things that helped: - Realising why I wanted to be better, and working on reasons that aren’t helpful. Things like jealousy, wanting to be better than others and not for it’s own sake aren’t productive and just add pressure, plus it’s just not a healthy way to be. I’m even cautious of being happy when a drawing gets alot of likes, what should be important is what pleases me, find what that is and you’ll find what speaks to you, and you will develop in a more personal and probably unique way of drawing or making art. A good reason is simply wanting to hone your craft. -Talent is a thing, to an extent, but hard work is more of a thing. And consistency is key. Draw often, don’t always draw well.

-Thread the needle, in multiple ways. Draw regularly, but don’t overwork yourself. If you feel pressured to be better, that’s good, let that be a motivator, however don’t let that pressure take over. Don’t feel like you HAVE to improve fast, this will just add pressure to every drawing. Use that feeling to bust out a sketchbook and stay limber: a good drawing will happen when it happens and it’s more likely when you’re in a nice flow. -If a page is intimidating, get a garbage sketchbook and purposely make junk. 

-If you don’t like drawing because you’re a perfectionist, realise that to truly perfect your craft you would need to draw more. Don’t perfect one drawing, it’s a lifelong thing to master the act of drawing itself.

-Whatever it takes to return to the basis of why you enjoyed drawing in the first place, remember it’s something you enjoyed doing and let go of the pressure to perform. you *WILL* improve and you *WILL* find your voice as long as you enjoy yourself and hone in on specifically what you enjoy drawing and how you enjoy drawing it.

-Remind yourself that as you improve your drawings will look worse. This is demoralising but ultimately a good thing, your eye has improved. Push through! Ask yourself, what specifically bothers me in this drawing, shake it off and work on it!

-When asking yourself what you hate about a drawing be as specific as possible. does the arm feel wrong? Why? What specifically about the arm? experiment and ask more and more specifically and you will figure it out.

Keep it fun!!! You can’t do more than your best (accept that), work hard but keep the pressure off!!! Insecurity adds pressure, deep breath and remind yourself that you enjoy the act of drawing.

[tacit-semantics]

Hi there! Can I ask what resources you're using to learn netting and filet lace? I usually use youtube for learning a new fiber art, but a lot of what I'm seeing is crochet to mimic the filet look. Or, like, it's in French. Any websites, videos, books, etc you've come across would be super helpful!

Hey!! I’m gonna go under the cut for this because I started typing it out and it got. Long. Anyways, here we go!!

My favorite book for netted lace (and for learning the netting techniques themselves) is netted lace: techniques and patterns by Margaret Morgan!! It teaches basic netted shapes, and it’s got patterns for lace doilies, as well as larger pieces too I believe. There are also some filet lace patterns there, but no instructions for the technique itself

Filet lace is… unfortunately a little bit harder in that I haven’t found something that actually definitively walks me through it in a way that I’d be able understand but I definitely do not speak for everyone there, so I’m gonna point you towards what I think are gonna be the best bets:

First off: Lacis, practical instructions in filet brodé or darning on net by Isabel A Simpson!! That one’s on internet archive so it’s pretty easy to access too. It also has a pattern that shows you the path that the thread is supposed to take when you embroider, and I’m hoping that that’ll kickstart a better understanding of how the actual technique works

Other than that, I’m gonna say The Technique of Filet Lace by Pauline Knight, also on internet archive- not entirely relevant but that one actually directly quotes the previously mentioned book, and both of them mention the lack of written instructional literature on the subject, so if nothing else were in good company adjsks. Also, as a warning, an issue I’ve been having is that a lot of instructional books spend a not insignificant amount of time teaching the netting technique itself which definitely makes sense but can also be a bit frustrating if you’re looking for the embroidery technique

The Priscilla netting book (if you look it up then the university of Arizona should have a free pdf) has a lot of good decorative stitches!! It can be a little hard to parse though

For a tutorial walking through two small patterns, there’s filet lace tutorial by elinor’s crafts on Wordpress!! I’m going to hyperlink that at the bottom of this because I came back to add this section and do not want to risk losing everything by rearranging alsdkdk

Luckily, patterns themselves are way easier to find- i’d go to antique pattern library for those, or again internet archive, where I usually just look up filet lace and have at it. I don’t think the language barrier will be as big an issue once the technique is down, or at the very least that’s what I’m hoping sjsjjs

I’d also very much recommend checking the back of any instructional books for like a bibliography kinda thing and using that for additional resources. Makes for a good jumping point!!!

And unfortunately that’s about all I’ve got!! As with anything self-taught, there is a very real possibility that there’s a HUGE gap in my knowledge that I am just outright unaware of so if that’s the case then I apologize in advance- that said, I hope this helps a bit!!!

Edit: if you have anywhere from $100-160 then there’s filet lace: introduction to the linen stitch by Marie-jo quinault. I absolutely cannot vouch for quality because I do not have $100-160 and the closest thing I’ve found to the content is a thirty second video of someone flipping through it but this one’s like my white whale ok supposedly its very detailed and illustrated and very very out of print from the looks of it. Pour one out, etcetera. It’s SO so expensive