#medicated gummy bears

[abblebasket]

tf2 doodles + an extra because john patrick lowrie saw it (head in hands)

(repost from twitter!)

[cheebapot67]

New arrival 🎁

THC OIL 🫙For Vapes

15 ML 🟰 180 dollars.. to order telegram id:@cheebapot or wire app id:@dexo420

[oasisr]

[goblinbabe666]

i fucking haaaaaate. and i mean HATE. having to stock up when i get my period. this is bullshit. i’m already in pain and extremely sweaty and nauseous. on top of having to leave my house to glower at hygiene products and pain relievers and snacks for an extended period of time trying to figure out what i need or want i have to go spend my OWN MONEY? TO NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE? ITS SO EXPENSIVE.

[cupcraft]

Okay noo let's talk about that wilson tried to make house feel better after kutners death by purposefully eating "healthier" to gaslight house into thinking he had a deep secret that was eating at him and then being absolutely whimsied at house being fucking crazy about it and stealing his medical records and following him and scrutinizing every behavior but having to pretend to be upset with that for the game and then buying gummy bears so house would realize wilson wasn't eating healthy for a fear of mortality to extreme secret reason but because he wanted house to figure out that the common denominator was house not being able to steal his food bc he hates those things and that the only thing that would make house feel normal was wilson absolutely psychologically fucking with him and house then fondly being sooooo happy wilson manipulated him and then they go on a lunch date and house steals alllll his fries and it's the one time Wilson's like yeah yeahhhhh steal them baby and they're fucking smiling giggling like yes thanks for manipulating me ur so hot god like they just write gay sex like this in house md

[thcscout]

What's all the buzz about CBD oil? | Just The FAQs

What's all the buzz about CBD oil? | Just The FAQs

CBD, or cannabidiol, is said to help alleviate pain and certain disorders. It has exploded in popularity since President Trump legalized the cultivation of hemp, but is CBD a medical miracle or just another fad? RELATED: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfY2plkH7pw Is America on the verge of going CBD-crazy? There’s some evidence that we’re headed that way. Cannabidiol, or CBD – an active but not…

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was at a hospital with no apparent medical reason to be there - no injures, no surgery, no nothing. I was sitting on a hospital bed, eating gummy bears, watching a documentary about gummy bears, and apparently gummy bear lore existed. The creator of the gummy bears, James, said, “James is my persona, Jameson is the real me.” Then I woke up.

[stealingyourbones]

Hello

I just finished reading the chemistry teacher Danny phantom post and saw you and your twin mention a really chaotic chemistry teacher you had

It's fine if not, but I was wondering if you had any more stories about that teacher?

They sounded really fun and I am now curious what other antics they got up to.

Sorry if I'm asking too much.

Oh no absolutely I can! That man was my chemistry teacher for two years and was my favorite teacher of all time.

Ok sO.

- The Fume Hood Incident (twin shall explain @bonebrokebuddy)

- making an absolute SHIT ton of thermite when we couldn’t inhale boron gas as our last chemistry club experiment. We initially wanted to melt a hole in a junk car with it but the dude who offered his car backed out :(

- did the “exploding gummy bear” experiment that made a lot of very toxic gas for shits and giggles. We had to stay in another teachers classroom for the next class period because the room had ventilate for a while.

- once burned some extra magnesium for fun DIRECTLY UNDER THE FIRE DETECTOR and made the entire school leave because the fire alarm got set off in the dead of winter. Things akin to this happened two more times.

- since the first incident, he found out how to TURN OFF the fire detectors in his room whenever he’s doing experiments involving fire. Evidently he failed twice in this exercise.

- self medicated ADHD with coffee and drank at least 3 pots of the stuff during school hours. He had his own coffee machine in the classroom. Once did a presentation on potency stuff and brought in espresso for the class to drink. That man drank a whole pot of it before the end of the school day.

- during said coffee drinking experiments, he broke his one mug he used and used a new beaker for 2 weeks until he bothered to get a new one. Rinse and repeat this exact scenario from the beginning of his teaching until he left.

- would buy pure chemical or whatever un watered down esque chemicals are and would lower the molar count himself because “he didn’t want to pay for water” and did it IN THE CLASS ROOM BY HIMSELF WITH NO FUME HOOD. (Chemistry terms are bad I haven’t had a chem class in 5 years)

- this man is now a college professor I think. Where he rightfully should be because there is no way the experiments we did with him were given a green light through the wavers we signed.

- he bought the school a blast shield with the rest of the chemistry club funds to encourage the next chem teacher to do more dangerous experiments. (They never did :( )

These are just annecdotes. If @bonebrokebuddy wants to add onto it they’re free to do so :)

[akirayuri]

Post fire down ( 15 ) Soukoku holding a cashier at gun point as they rob a pharmacy off it's painkillers, antiseptics, bandages and surgical alcohol and a whole fucking row of gummy bears, cause they lost their wallets. The poor guy is torn between being scared to death and genuinely concerned as the two kids hold a fucking gun to his head ( one looking like he's straight out of a vintage horror flim with bandages and dark clothes and all, with a face like a fucking dead doll or some shit. And the other cosplaying a street racer, well. Yeah. With the most dirtiest, Spitfire mouth to exist.) While they rob candies and medical supplies, leaving blood trails in their footsteps and tiny hand prints.

[miasmaclockworks]

Inhale (killk me)

kinito pet au ideas (all mine now)

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[kisbunzies]

More silly tf2 headcanons because i know more about them than valve does.

Sniper is practically nocturnal. You wont see him all day but you will find him sitting on the couch in base with snacks and a movie going like it 3am , no shoes or shirt despite it being February and his camper being parked like a mile.away acting like its totally normal. Will literally nap anywhere during the after noon dont be surprised if one day you find him hanging upside down like a vampire.

Speaking of which this mans goes everywhere shirtless and shoeless . gas station ? Shirtless and shoe less . walmart ? Shirtless and shoeless .middle of winter ? Maybe he's got socks on. They have to yell at him to get dressed or atleast put on sunscreen so he doesn't get crustier than he already is.

Pyro's really good at open flame cooking , bonfire grill gas stove flambae torch they can make anything as long as it requires fire. Also pyros mexican and atleast half of their "strange noises" are just them mumbling to themselves in spanish.

Heavy likes cozy stuff , he's struggled enough if he wants hot cocoa and a knitted blanket he can have hot cocoa and a knitted blanket. Owns the fuzziest pair of bear slippers known to man. Also i feel like he's a salmon guy idk maybe he rlly is just a bear but guy.

Saxton hale likes men.

Scout if so painfully straight. And i dont mean straight as in sexuality i mean straight as in pure fucking aura. Ms pauling comes out as a lesbian and he says "oh shit i like girls too we should date" sees heavy and medic kiss and his brain doesn't acknowledge it. This is true even is scout likes dudes he's the 1970's equivalent of those guys nowadays who wear nothing but nike and use the word gyat unironically and im tired of pretending like he isn't.

Ms pauling wants to be a merc so bad she thinks that its so cool but her mom told her murders for boys so she's just the administrators assistant/hj

Demoman has the most curly , bouncy , volumous gorgeous hair under than beanie. He keeps it in cornrows most of the time but when he does wear his hair out its a sight to behold.

Engineer makes the corniest , most dad like jokes known to man , its literally horrible they all groan so loud whenever he does but he thinks its hilarious.

Sniper , scout , pyro and soldier are all sour gummy worm addicts to the point that their stash takes up and entire shelf in the base pantry. Go through a costco bag a week.

The local costco dreads their presence , engineer and sniper and in the outdoors section, medics necromancing the chickens , pyros was the one roasting those chickens before they got necromanced, they managed to lose heavy somehow , scout managed to convince spy to get into a toilet paper fort they made and now their introuble with management, soldiers ordering a forth of july cake despite it being october and demomans buying premade meal kits for dinner for him.and his mom over the week. Pyro saved him a necromanced rotisserie chicken. And yes sniper still isn't wearing a shirt or shoes they've given up.

Spy had eyebags and grey hair , misses when was young and spry , is a little jealous of medic managing to have a full head of dark hair.

Medics ethnically jewish. He gets his black market organs kosher .

And finally out of all the mercs soldier goes to.medic the most for actual injuries , scout goes the most for.minors , engineers got the most perscriptions including hearing aids and stuff for pyro he picks up , sniper never goes to the doctor and medic has to drag him in . spies the worse when it comes to appointments (doesn't like any part of him being seen and despit having spy training still doesn't like.needles) and medic favorite patient is heavy for obvious reasons

[xerith-42]

My Inner Demons Stoner Headcanons

Part 3 in my Stoner Headcanons series!

Fuck you I love this show and think it's the perfect setting for stupid shenanigans like this

Leif learns what weed is from TV (mainly cop shows) and knows Ava won't answer if he asks so he just asks Mrs Oats when Ava isn't around and she gives him some because she just has a medical card.

Leif fucking loves it. My man has such a hard time relaxing because he is always ready for a threat, always ready to kill, that he's honestly forgot what real relaxation feels like until this funny little plant turns his brain off.

He shows it to Asch first, who quite enjoys the ability to actually lower his guard. That and they don't have to use the lighter that still doesn't make sense. They can just have Asch light the blunt.

Rhys catches them smoking one time, but Leif is so chilled out he just passes the joint to Rhys and badly explains how to use it. Rhys does not have a good time initially, but he eventually settles into it. He decides he likes second hand smoke more than ingesting it directly

Noi is scared of smoking because his body is already considerably weaker due to his lack of magic. He's too scared to bring this up because he doesn't think there's an alternative, but Mrs. Oats leaves them a goody basket one day, saying she made too many sweets to eat on her own. There's a bag of "special" gummy bears for Noi.

Now I'm imaging Noi eating like 20 of them and not realizing they were edibles and going straight to god. Like he's just lying in his bed thinking about Ava, he blinks and then he just sees the portal of truth.

Pierce is the last to discover it, and he never voices an opinion on it. If he happens to walk into the room where it's being smoked, he'll join the rotation for a hit or two, but then he just leaves. He lies to lie on the floor of Ava's apartment with Johnny on his lap and just relax. Ava's caught him, but he's usually asleep, so she doesn't realize he's baked as fuck in his dreams.

The plot twist is that Ava has a medical card she just has to keep it hella on the down low for her dad's campaign. He wants to make it legal recreational, but until then, she has to be fuckin chill about it. One time Leif walks into her room without knocking to ask her something and despite everything seeming normal, he stops and then sniffs the air. And then he sees Ava's slightly bloodshot eyes.

I feel like Lorelei isn't an active stoner, she's the kind of person who only smokes around her friends who smoke. She never smoked it with Ava (because Ava's actually really good about hiding it), but one time she visits Ava's apartment and catches Leif about to duck into the portal to their place and he has a fresh joint in his hand. Instead of just smoking it on his own, Leif actually smokes it with her and hotboxes Ava's bathroom.

Oh god Ava getting sick at the festival because she took a hit off a vape before going on a roller coaster the fuckin dumb ass.

When they're forced to go back home Leif is pissed for a lot of reasons, but partially because he doesn't have his stash on him :(

[phoenix-and-found-family]

More random headcannons because I keep procrastinating writing part two

Practically the entire agency is scared of Phoenix, but all for different reasons. The other field agents are jealous of the fame they gained from the peace summit (but also intimated by the fact they survived), the other handlers besides Reggie are concerned Phoenix has got some kind of dirt on him (see here for rant explaining the headcannon), the R&D department is just kind of annoyed by them because everything they send with them comes back broken in half and/or on fire. The doctors/medics are the most scared of Phoenix because they should have died from alcohol poisoning eight years ago but they're clearly standing there alive in the breakroom stealing donuts and drinking a diabetes causing coffee-gummy bear-creamer-sprinkles with more sugar added in because who needs teeth, right?

Phoenix goes into the normal world regularly to buy snacks and has only been caught once, but it was when Reggie was also feeling peckish so they had a sweet father-child moment together (Phoenix nearly broke a vase, and they had to shoot someone in the knee, you know, typical father-child stuff) [Should I write something on this? Yes. Will I write something on this? Probably not.]

Phoenix loves fast and hard- someone being nice to them usually means they will protect that person with their life (ex. Dr. Prism) [all of this is /p, by the way]

They accidentally flirt with people all the time, because they can't read social cues very well (ex. complimenting people on their shoes and such) and then gets really confused why the person's partner gets mad at them

Phoenix is terrified of fire. Now, this sounds really weird considering how often they burn things, but it's in that way where you're so scared of something that you want to see exactly what it's going to do. Because you don't know how exactly it's going to react to what you introduce it to. It might explode, it might burn it down, it might get snuffed out only to reaper along the way. It's full of far too many possibilities for you to stay away for too long. So while it scares you, you observe it because it's so unpredictable, like nothing else you've ever seen. (to be clear, this is a metaphor for how I think Zor views Phoenix)

Dat all I got. Go away (/j)

[cod-dump]

the fact theres possibly gummy bear edibles hidden around base makes me worried for the fact roach steals food and will happen upon them :')

After the Soap incident Price cracked down on edibles being on base. Any that remained could pass of as normal food or were hidden. Though the vents to the kitchen were screwed shut, rest the vents around base were not.

So Roach continued his thievery of food. Since the food he was now stealing wasn’t in the kitchen, Price wasn’t being hounded by everyone to make it stop. Roach had a stockpile of candy and other things he had taken, stuffing his face. He still gave some food to Ghost, and that’s when it happened.

Roach was eating a bag of gummy worms, sitting under Ghost’s desk as the man worked. He offered him a worm and he took it without thinking. He was about to stick it in his mouth when he stopped.

“Roach… where did you get these?”

“Some rookie.”

“Roach… how many did you eat?”

“Half a bag?”

Ghost scooted his chair back to look at the bag in Roach’s possession. His eyes widened when he saw the identifying logo on it.

“Gary those are edibles!”

Roach froze as he was chewing. He slowly looked at the three pound bag of gummy worms he had half eaten. He swallows the mouthful he had, licking his lips as he closed the bag.

“I-I’m sure I’ll be fine…”

He was not fine.

Thirty minutes later Roach had gotten back in the vents and immediately got lost. He crying loudly for Ghost to get him out.

“SIMON THE SPIDERS ARE EVERYWHERE!”

Others, of course, heard the screaming and came running. Price was one of them and Ghost had to explain what happened. That Roach stole a bag of gummy worms that ended up being edibles and ate around one and a half pounds of them.

They tried coaxing Roach out but he kept insisting that the spiders would get him if he moved. So they ended up having to rip out the wall and get him out that way. He was placed in medical and stayed there until the edibles ran their course. Afterwards he was punished for continuing to steal food.

It wasn’t that severe of a punishment, though. Price felt he had learned his lesson. He still cringes when he sees gummy worms.

[judasgot-it]

Tecchou x Reader

"Really? Anything for 20 dollars?"

Scenario: You try not to vomit on Tecchou's shoes after eating one of his food combinations.

Warning: There's vomit. Also might make a part two? I don't know tbh.

As the secretary for the Hunting Dog's, you were privy to a lot of their personal lives. You had access to their medical records, taxes, personal files...as well as seeing just how downright weird they are.

It was no secret that they were bizarre, but the longer you were exposed to them, the more you realized that they were just...like that.

Somehow you still cared about them.

"Tecchou that is nasty, I would rather die than be around that." You could hear yelling from across the building, meaning that the group had come back from a mission.

Which was actually good news seeing as you had managed to finish your paperwork for the day, so you could take your leave without much notice. No one would mind if you left anything for the next day anyway, seeing as no one got much done in the building when they were around.

It wasn't their fault, they were just...loud.

"Why don't we ask y/n? They'll judge it fairly."

Oh great.

You started sneaking around the room, trying to find another exit other than the single door you had to your office. You really wanted to take your early leave without their shenanigans.

Surely there was a secret exit somewhere behind your desk?

Too late. It opened.

"Y/n, could you assist us?" Tecchou sounded far too calm and polite after slamming open your office door, causing another hole into your wall. Jouno followed, leaving the door open as if your privacy didn't matter.

It really didn't, not with this group.

You didn't bother responding, just waiting for them to explain what they were arguing about.

"Tecchou made the most disgusting drink and this time he is actually trying to convince me it's consumable. Please tell him even you won't try it." Jouno was ranting, standing as far as possible from Tecchou who was holding a gallon jug of some strange concoction.

Tecchou, to make a point, took a swing of it, drinking a third of the drink and making a loud noise of satisfaction. Jouno screamed in annoyance.

"OK. What's in it that's so bad?" If you were being honest, you tended to think Jouno was being dramatic sometimes. Soy Sauce Latte's weren't that bad - not a drink of choice, but not exactly worth a tantrum.

"Eggs, Ramen noodles, protein powder, monster energy, sour gummy bears and ginger."

He said it with a straight face as Jouno gagged. It was dramatic but it was warranted this time. You felt bile rise in the back of your throat at even the thought of that. You couldn't even move from your spot.

"Tecchou...what made you think this was a good idea?" You were having a staring contest as he swished his drink around, which you now noticed had a sort of mushy consistency. Did he put it in a blender?

"I combined my lunch with my pre-workout and my snack, it's genius. Now I can take it while I'm on the go."

He took another swing, face unchanging. It was a challenge, almost.

He was a smart man who has gone undefeated in battle, with unquestionable morals. But his idea of a 'genius' drink...

"I'm going to vomit..." Jouno was almost sweating.

"Why would you want me to try that?" You really did not want to try it. The gallon jug was halfway empty now, which astounded you. How did he drink it so fast?

"Please?" His face was genuine. Like a sad puppy.

You looked to the side, and then back at him. Maybe he was secretly a genius, able to toy with your emotions so easily.

His puppy eyes were very persuasive if you were being honest.

"20 dollars. 100 if I vomit. And I take only one swing."

Jouno gagged again.

"Really?! You can be bought out so easily?" Jouno wasn't even drinking it but he was suffering so much, his face red from being near the drink. How was he considered a super soldier?

"Anything for 20 dollars Jouno. Seriously, I did some crazy things before I had this job."

You weren't kidding either. This job payed well enough to keep you in the position, so you didn't bother finding a new one. You weren't exactly the most employable person out there anyway.

"Really? Anything for 20 dollars?" Tecchou walked over to you, handing you the disgusting mixture.

"I'm gonna have to keep that in mind."

His tone sounded odd. Did he really plan on using this against you?

"Please don't make me doing this a regular thing." You looked into the jug finally, seeing the weird piss color of the mixture as it sloshed around in the jug.

Tecchou just smiled at you. You didn't know what his intentions were.

Maybe 20 dollars wasn't enough.

You didn't bother prepping, just raising it up and taking a swing. As you did, you heard Jouno choke on air again.

You choked too as you felt the mixture hit your mouth. It was horrible.

First it was the texture. It was a mixture of liquid and some sort of mashed substance. The gummy bears and Ramen made it a strange mix of chewy and soggy. Then it was the taste. It was everything and nothing. But it sure as hell burned everything it touched. There was a lot of ginger, with a hint of artificial sweetness from the energy drink.

You kept it there, scared to swallow, before you tried to take it all in at once. You had to take the jug away as you choked with your mouth closed, trying not to spit everything out.

You closed your eyes and put a hand over your mouth, forcing yourself to swallow anything left in your mouth. You felt spit quickly building up in your mouth. You swallowed it down, hard - allowing yourself to breathe air finally.

Looking at the jug, you barely had drinken anything. But your stomach felt disgusting, as there was bile building up in the back of your throat.

You felt a hand pat your shoulders, as Tecchou leaned over you. His other hand reached for the jug, now moving to set it aside onto the nearby desk. Thank god.

If you looked at that thing you might vomit enough to reach Jouno, who was practically hiding behind the doorframe in disgust.

"Are you ok?" What a stupid fucking question. You straightened your back, trying to compose yourself despite still feeling unease in your body. You managed to push it aside.

"Yea, I'm fine. But that's absolutely revolting, I have to be completely honest with you."

"I'm surprised you haven't managed to vomit yet. You'd get a hundred dollars out of it." Jouno's face was still red from the gagging he himself was doing, so you felt satisfied that you weren't the only one suffering.

"No, I wouldn't want too. Then I'd have to leave the office for a day while they do a carpet cleaning. I'd rather take the 20 dollars." You finally managed to smile, feeling the horrible sensation of bile and evil settle in your stomach. How it was digesting you didn't want to know.

You turned towards Tecchou, smiling as you held your hand out expectantly for your payout.

It was absolutely disgusting but 20 dollars? Was 20 fucking dollars.

He began reaching for his pocket, looking for his wallet, when you felt the uneasiness come back tenfold.

You put a hand over your mouth, and the next thing you knew, felt nothing but that same burning sensation come back out of your throat.

It was disgusting, and you could faintly hear Jouno leaving as you bent over to relieve some of the pain in your stomach.

As quick as it came it left, and you were left looking at a yellow mess over your pants and on Tecchou's shoes. Your chin was dripping wet and all you wanted to do was sit down.

There was a horrible, awkward pause where neither of you said anything to one other.

"You owe me 100 dollars now."

You were hoping to ease the tension, but you still were heaving after that small event.

Tecchou said nothing as he led you over to your desk chair. His face portrayed nothing to the disgust he was probably feeling at having been vomited on, which you really could commend him on. This was definitely not exciting or fun.

"Let's just get cleaned up right now. Do you have any wipes?"

"In the first drawer to the right."

He leaned over, pulling them out. As gently as a man like him could, he started wiping your pants down with them.

"You don't have to do that." You smiled a little, taking a wipe and wiping off the chunks that got on your shirt. You didn't even drink that much, how was it everywhere?

"It's fine, this is my fault. Let me clean it up." He took a new wipe from the box, wiping off your face. His eyes were concentrated as he wiped a little roughly, trying to make sure you were as clean as possible.

This was embarrassing, as well as a little intimate. You couldn't help the blush that spread across your face at how close he was. It felt nice to be taken care of, but really, like this? This was just gross.

"You know your shoes are still dirty, right?"

He looked down at his, sure enough, vomit soaked shoes. He hummed, cleaning them off as well.

"Sorry about that. Didn't think the drink would be that bad."

There was a pause. He stood up, throwing the dirty wipes into trash under your desk. He then turned to you, his face for once showing bashfulness.

"Is it really that bad?" His eyes were a wide, as if embarrassed at the notion that he might have been a little odd. This might really have been his first time noticing it.

You gave him a small smile, standing up alongside him. The calves of your pants were soaked, as well as the bottom half of your shirt. Thank god you were going to leave work after this.

"Yes. Yes it is. But that's a you thing, and I wouldn't have you any other way." You really did mean those words. He was odd to an extreme, but you wouldn't want him to change. You've grown attached to the odd behavior, it almost makes your day sometimes when it doesn't leave you vomiting on your carpet.

He deserved to know that you did in fact, care about him.

Tecchou stared at you, analyzing your face. You stared back, keeping your smile.

This went on for a while before he finally replied.

"Do you want a ride home?" His hand went to the hilt of his sword, thumbing the cold metal.

You simply nodded, following behind him as he walked out of the office. Tomorrow you could deal with it, as for now you just wanted to get home and change, maybe take a nap.

Tecchou giving you your 100 dollars you could also deal with later.

This honestly turned into something else? Idk, it's kinda gross and also NOT the best but I'm bored at work