#more anxious again but kept it under control well

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: You vs Them - Love Connection Check-in

Hello and welcome to another love reading pick a card.

This is a pretty classic, you vs them romantic connection check-in, where we'll look first at both of you currently are, your respective thoughts feelings and actions you are taking, as well as the connecting dynamic between the two of you.

This pick a card reading is meant for any type of romantic connection, whether it's a crush situation or a more established connection.

Like my style and want to book a paid reading with me? Check out this post or my pinned post :) You can book through DMs or ko-fi.

PILE 1

You

Cards: 6 of Swords, the Tower, the Warrior of Love, Jealousy, Strength, Knight of Swords, 3 of Pentacles

You are currently experiencing quite the conflict. It seems you are not satisfied with your love life in general, but also with the state of this connection. This is triggering heavy feelings and even making you experience a personal crisis. You feel doomed in regards to love and this connection, like nothing ever works and that it might not be in the cards for you. That you spent all that time loving them for nothing. As a result, you are feeling jealous, either of other people's love or of the potential of your person being with someone else. You are also wondering if you should cut your losses and let go of this connection to look for something better. This is adding to the inner crisis you are experiencing because its like your logic is telling you to let go to avoid being hurt further, but your heart does not want to. Like at all. It's like in the inside you're determined to see this through and try everything you can until you are 100% sure this relationship is dead and buried. There is a very combative vibe to this ad in you do not want to give up and you're ready to take risks. You go back and forth between being determined and wanting a way out.

Your thoughts towards them is again some type of combative mind game. It's like you are very observant of your own thoughts and try to keep them under control, both to avoid being unrealistic about what's happening, and also to avoid falling into despair. You're trying to keep the balance and be strong in this situation. You may also be trying to temper your emotions with your mind as a way to avoid doing something you think you might regret. Overall you are very active in your mind and have some type of iron grip over this.

Your feelings regarding them explain why you feel this need for control, as it seems you feel some type of emergency, that you are extremely scared that this is going to slip away if you don't act and that you need to find a way to either make it work or exit fast. This is making you feel restless and anxious.

Your actions are also kept under control by your thoughts as I see you talking to them and building a foundational friendship, hiding everything. Collaboration or work might also be important to some of you. So yeah your actions are not romantic at all and seem to be calculated and carefully paced. Which contradicts totally with your feelings, which you seem to hide very well.

Them

Cards: 9 of Swords, 4 of Cups, at Peace, Judgement, the Sweetest Taboo, the Fool, 4 of Swords, the Hanged Man rx, Queen of Pentacles

On their side of things, I'm getting that your person is involved with someone else, and they are toying with the idea of you, the card the sweetest taboo is quite telling. They may be daydreaming about you and imagining what it would be like to let themselves have this, but in reality, they are not acting on it, and it remains a fantasy. They are simply remaining quite apathetic, withdrawn, and not taking any steps towards you. They might go hot and cold quite often with you. They seem to be keeping this mask if calmness that is a front because the 9 of swords tells me the situation distresses them quite a lot, even if only when they stop distracting themselves and think about it. They are definitely thinking about this a lot. Judgement also tells me they are well aware that their actions will have consequences, whatever they decide to do about this, and they are taking it very seriously. 

Their thoughts on the matter is that while again they seem to be toying with the idea of a new beginning and taking a risk with you, they are also playing dead, so to speak. It's possible that they have recently withdrawn compared to what they used to do. Its like they think about going for this carelessly, but they also feel the need to think about this deeply and carefully. The thought it there but they haven't made up their mind and right now they are just withdrawing and thinking about what they could do.

This is reflected in their feelings. With the Hanged Man reversed they are taking this sweet time to think about this, feelings very indecisive and not ready to make a choice. They are still considering the different paths they could take, whether with you or not, and are also considering their feelings quite a lot.

Their actions towards you seem to be focused towards being friendly and showing they care for you on a personal level. They may be giving you advice or paying attention and remembering what you said. They are super careful about keeping the relationship stable and well meaning, and just like you are doing they are hiding they inner state pretty well. Again might be a co-worker or a friend, again not showing super romantic actions towards you but keeping things harmonious between the two of you.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 7 of Pentacles, the Empress, a Loving Gaze, Soft Whispers, Inner Awareness, Wishes Fulfilled, Optimism

Despite the lack of romantic actions on both sides, I'm getting that gazes seem to be a pretty important way for the both of you to communicate. It seems that a lot of things remain unsaid, but a lot is communicated through the eyes.

I'm also getting that the way you talk to each other in the tone you take is quite important in this dynamic. You might be talking about mundane things but you communicate your feelings through the way you both speak, keeping things sweet, lighthearted and friendly. So yeah again everyone avoids the important issue here but you try you best to be perceived in a good light.

This is represented further by the Empress, both of you want to  look, smell and act your best, trying to attract the other in a magnetic way rather than through direct flirting. Again the idea of keeping things amicable shows up and you both seem quite interested in building things slowly and carefully, observing intensely how things are unfolding.

The cards also shows quite a lot of optimism connecting the both of you, showing that despite the inner conflicts and indecision, you both still have hope for this, even if it seems quite far away. You are both wishing for each other and for the situation to magically fix itself, like with some grand intervention of fate that would unite you.

You are also both trying to stay aware of yourself and control what you are doing while not being super aware of what's happening on the inside for the other. It's also like you're trying to both deal with your own shit first, keeping you quite blind on the situation and self-centered.

PILE 2

You

Cards: King of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, Physical Attraction, Longing and Desire, Optimism rx, the Lovers, Temperance rx, Queen of Wands, 6 of Pentacles

It seems you went through a breakup with your person and you're left feeling like you have nothing left, completely trapped in pessimistic feelings about having lost the relationship and thinking it will never be gained back. However, you still hold deep feelings and desire for them. You are very protective of the idea of this relationship and this person and you can't let it go. This person still lights your fire up and you think about them longingly, with intense sexual attraction. You keep imagining what it would be like to get back together with them and what to do to win them back.

So it makes sense that you got the Lovers as the card defining your thoughts. You keep thinking about your past relationship and being able to come into union with them again. You are dead set on fixing things up and bring harmony, even of you don't really believe it will happen.

For your feelings, with Temperance reversed, again, you have trouble letting go of this and healing, and you are neglecting your own emotional needs here. You feel like they are the missing piece to fix you instead of looking within to see what you could to do heal your heart and move on.

The actions you take show me that as a result of feeling like there is nothing left, you keep on trying to give and reach out, even if you don't get anything in return. You feel insecure and you're trying to get a hold of that by not letting yourself go and trying to do whatever you can to make things happen.

Them

Cards: 5 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Anger, à Loving Gaze, the Lady who Waits, 7 of Cups, 6 of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, the Hermit, Knight of Swords, the Hanged Man, King of cups

The breakup wasn't easy on them either even though it seems they triggered it, as there is evidence of a battle that ended and losses were made on both sides. However there is an idea of celebration and getting back together with friends and enjoying time with them, so it seems they needed that even if it's really hard on you. So they might be spending time with friends, partying and getting their life moving again.

It seems they are still quite angry at the situation though and have a lot of resentment for you. They have definitely moved on and left behind what they had with you. They are currently contemplating their options moving forward, looking to open up to new connections and waiting for the right opportunity. They are wondering where life will take them next and everything seems rather hazy and not grounded in anything yet.

For their thoughts, it seems they are embracing the change and again let go of what once was. The wheel as turned and a new chapter has opened. They seem to think this was bound to happen, whether they believe in fate or not, they think there was no other option here and that it was meant to happen at some point.

For their feelings, they definitely are very focused on themselves and are more focused on how you make them feel than how you feel. They are withdrawing and we already saw they are not giving anything to you anymore. They are focused on what this whole experience has taught them and doing some soul searching.

Which shows in their actions as well, withdrawal and contemplation while trying to remain calm and emotionally stable by distancing themselves. Their own emotional balance is very important to them and they are very protective of that. They do whatever needs to be done to keep the upper hand and stay in control of the situation. They might lash out or behave harshly as a result of you pushing against them.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 3 of Swords, Knight of Wands, the Warrior of Love, Unrequited Desire, Reflection rx, Shadow Work

The main thing I get is that emotions are running high. You've got passionate longing for you and anger for them, which connects in intense headache, sorrow, fresh wounds from the past. It seems you are both triggering each other, bringing out the worst both of you have to offer. It's definitely a toxic situation, not necessarily because you are toxic individuals, but because the dynamic has turned sour and feelings are too high to behave differently.

There is also some type of chase going on like you are still hung up on them but they aren't reciprocating but you feel like they aren't closing the door properly, which is delicate and is quite complicated in reality. They might act like that as a reaction more than a real desire. Which again is triggering the worst of both of you and making a messy and painful situation on each sides.

You also can't seem to understand the each other's perspective because everything looks distorted by your own thoughts and emotions, like you're looking in a broken mirror.

PILE 3

You

Cards: 7 of Pentacles rx, Queen of Wands, Reflection, Jealousy and Possessiveness, King of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups

Currently, you're feeling quite frustrated by the pace of things in this connection, feeling like you've invested a lot of time and effort in this and not gotten the reward you were expecting. You have expectations regarding what your person should give you, and you're eagerly waiting for them to meet them. You know your worth and feel quite annoyed because you feel you should be getting more from this whole thing. This is pushing you to weigh things out and reflect on the dynamic of the relationship, and you're actively seeking advice about it, to the point of being quite obsessive and overthinking it. You feel quite jealous and possessive of your person, and you feel like they should be yours and yours only.

In your mind, you are very clear about what you want from this relationship, and you keep thinking of a long-term future with them. There is no hesitation on your mind. You have a vision and you feel like there is real potential for success here.

This is reflected in your feelings. You feel at home with this person and have a deep desire to build something solid and committed that could lead to building a life together.

For your actions, though, it seems you are not showing your cards fully, keeping them close to your chest. Your feelings run deep, and you seem to be spending a lot of time in them without necessarily acting on them, and definitely not communicating them to your person. It's like you're facing away from them, refusing to show your depth of emotions.

Them

Cards: King of Pentacles, 10 of Wands, love's embrace, stress, Jealousy, the Tower, 3 of Pentacles, Page of Cups, King of Cups, Wheel of Fortune

On their side of things, they seem to be quite overwhelmed by the situation, to the point of feeling burdened by stress. On their side of things, the situation seems a bit "stuffy" or "suffocating" and they have a thousand things they need to do which adds up to the stress. It's like, they are not used to this game of love and feel quite a bit out of their depth here. They are definitely not at ease with the attention and it may be a distraction from their work and they have trouble balancing that. They are also mirroring you on the Jealousy aspect as they seem to worry you might have other suitors more fitting for you.

This is reflecting in their current thoughts, which shows that they are at a breaking point. Their whole world is being turned upside down, and they feel pushed towards a transformation they don't think they are ready for. This might feel like something they didn't ask for is happening to them, and they don't think they have any control over this.

For their feelings, they again seem to mirror you in their desire to build a foundation for the both of you, although they seem less long term oriented than you and more focused on the task at hand. Perhaps getting to know you or building positive exchanges. They do feel the massive amount of work that it requires though and they might feel the need to reach out to others to help them in their task and give them advice.

For their actions, they appear like a shy, not super confident or particularly determined suitor, testing the water and making careful moves. They do want to show you that they are reliable and full of desire to provide for you, but they are not exactly showing that very well. Its also like they are waiting for a change coming from the outside to solve the situation, perhaps the intervention of someone else or a big fated event, which may make their actions appear quite erratic and random, because they lack the drive and focus.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 10 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Page of Swords, Standing Alone, Seeking Pleasure, Doubt and Indecision, Sweet Surrender, 8 of Wands, Worry

So you both feel like you've reached some type of low here, as if you could not get any lower. Its a bit dramatic because the cards are also showing the a new start here. Perhaps things had indeed ended here but they are picking up again, and fast. However you both are quite defensive and on your guards regarding this new beginning and are being quite suspicious about it, wondering if you can really trust it or not. It seems that during that time where things where low, you both had to stand on your own and learn to care for yourselves, building and healing you own issue.

However there might be some reluctance to leave this state, because it asks to be vulnerable with the other and neither of you seem totally ready to do that. This is leading to doubts regarding this relationship, wondering if it is indeed the right path for both of you. However, the promise of love and pleasure comes out very strong and I think it has been building for a while without finding a release. You both seem to desire and dread this equally. The whole situation is making you both quite worried and disoriented and there is a need to communicate things in a straightforward way.

[jmdbjk]

Mental gymnastics...

I am flipping out. That's all. Just my brain doing cartwheels and whatever those things are called where you flip between those high bars and let go for a breathless second and then grab onto reality again. Or this...

Too much Olympics these past few weeks I guess... anyway.

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I may or may not mention scenes in detail and their outcomes during these long rambling messy posts beginning with the next sentence.

Before I get into it... kudos to the staff for keeping up with these two and for suffering many extremely anxious moments as Jimin and Jungkook drove themselves through NYC, as Jungkook and then both Jimin and Jungkook rode the motorcycle through traffic, and the few heart stopping moments when JK flipped his kayak over and then they took off down the river alone before staff caught up with them. Not to mention probably looking up the nearest ER/urgent care facility in case Jimin got too dehydrated from his bout with the stomach bug.

Seriously though, their lives and global headlines had to flash before their eyes when JK disappeared underwater under that kayak... so big applause for the staff/production crew for not shitting THEIR pants thirteen times too.

So here are some of my thoughts. I'll begin with the first episode...

Episode 1:

In the opening scene, I'm assuming this is Antoya Korean BBQ restaurant. They were talking about JK's sore throat and that he had to visit a medical facility. Jimin kept on about it. It seemed like JK's "stop babying me" attitude bubbled up a little bit. Let them be them. As you can see, JK adjusted Jimin's beanie so he could see his eyes. They were fine.

Pause and reflect: they didn't know what to expect with this idea of a travel show. The moment above happened on Thursday evening, July 13. Both of them were working. Jimin was still working on his concepts, photos, MV and whatnot, planning to finish everything for Muse in the coming months. Jungkook had a full schedule for promoting Seven which was dropping the next day. He had to get up early for Good Morning America concert in the park.

I'm stating all this for point of reference. Nothing is static. JK was in work mode: he had a performance the next day and also not feeling well himself. Jimin had been on a plane for 14 hours. Just keep these things in mind before jumping to conclusions.

In the next scene (the next day) back at the hotel after JK's done with his performance and when he's packing to go on this trip he's all in and ready to go. Hurry up Jimin!

Jimin asked him how the live performance went. As we know, the GMA live performance was mostly rained out. Before the storm came through, they quickly pre-recorded the performances before it would have been time for the live broadcast and then shut it down. Jungkook had to be driven quickly to the studio to be interviewed to fill the leftover time in the program that more of his live performance would have taken up.

Hearing Jungkook say "this isn't my first rodeo" was never going to be on any bingo card in my lifetime.

I don't know what he was scribbling on that iPad but it looked geometric. He was focused. Maybe it was something for the next week's performance, maybe it was a sketch for music show staging, trying to recreate that flower archway they saw at Antoya the night before? maybe he was doodling in Canva... we don't know.

Me either, Jimin... (this was the first of all the hilarious gems that begin to shower down on us).

They are both known to be perfectionists when it comes to their work. And we know they've also both performed when feeling less than 100% on that stage. Jungkook realized there were circumstances beyond his control and he took it in stride.

FYI, in New York City, they stayed at the Loews Regency on E. 61st Street in Manhattan. It is between Madison Ave. and Park Avenue and not far from Central Park. Swanky. The suite looks like the 2-bedroom "Park Avenue Suite" and runs $2100 a night... gasp. Yes, its the same suite where JK did his live after his rained upon GMA appearance. During this live he mentioned being poked with needles, IV's and shots in the butt as well as teasing us with what would become Are You Sure:

No, I don't think Jimin stayed in this suite with JK. Jimin's room had a smaller bathroom and a shower curtain instead of a glass shower door. Staff with camera woke him up.

To be that beautiful when rolling out of bed... anyway, I digress...

It truly was unplanned and spontaneous as if they were doing this with the idea of "let's try it and see if it can be viable." Even Jimin wasn't sure if any of this could be aired.

Once they got in the Jeep they started to find their groove. Being alone, just them, was what they needed. They could focus on what was ahead of them. The driving moments were some of the best for me.

We eventually learn that Jimin wasn't feeling well and I'm certain this is what Jungkook was telling Yoongi during that episode of Suchwita, along with the elbowing in the nose.

Seems like Jimin's stomach trouble started when they were at the first restaurant, the burger place. The bathroom visits continued at the brewery and into the evening at the campsite.

Jimin had some sort of stomach bug that kept him on the toilet a lot and he ran a little bit of a temp. I am sad that he wasn't feeling 100% when they were on the yacht the next day but he still seemed to enjoy it enough to find the humor in his situation. He was a real trooper.

It sure didn't stop him from eating. My man was very brave in that regard. Me... no way I'd be stuffing my face with a big greasy burger when at any moment I might need to make a run for the toilet.

They get back on the road and these are the moments that I wait for:

After arguing in satoori about who is the worst driver between them, they start shopping at Dick's.

And get recognized...

After shopping excursion at Dick's, they finally head to High Nine Brewery...

Jimin's first sample wasn't to his taste (again). His taste buds were probably a little off since he had the stomach thing going on... but JK's eyebrows say that his sample was pretty good.

They finally settle on a hard seltzer and a pale ale and relax for a little bit. Jungkook is still wondering what would make good subject matter to film. They are truly making it up as they go...

Jimin proceeds to explain and an interaction happens and I am not sure what to think about it:

I am going to end this post here because they are now on their way to the kayaks and that segment deserves its own post and I have too many screen shots of it to fit in this post.

[These are all my own opinions about what I am seeing and hearing them say and from what I am observing from the video. It's ok if your opinion is different from mine.]

[xxventiswindblumexx]

Here I am. Do not hold back. Write the filthiest Dom! Tighnari in heat smut that you can. Forest chase, aphrodisiacs, primal urge, marking, knotting, choking. Go absolutely ham.

Of course! Sorry it took so long to get this one out! But I hope you enjoy my Smut Soulmate ❤

⚠Warnings:⚠Predator and Prey, Marking, Breeding, Knotting, Choking, Aphrodisiac usage, Hate fuck, Dubcon/Noncon.

You where a forest ranger, you where decent but not near as good as your superior Tighnari and you hated that. He was kind but comes off as cocky a lot especially with you.

You two have been arguing and always fighting anytime he corrected you, couldn't he just let you be? Well luckily you might get just that, the two months he hides away is coming up, it starts in a day and you'll finally have two months of peace.

During his last day the two of you where bickering as usual, you where supposed to survey parts of the forest but you missed some areas and according to Tighnari they where 'the most important area's' and if you hadn’t found the spot by sunrise tomorrow then ‘it wouldn’t make sense to go through it again tomorrow, so you must do it today’. You tried protesting but it only resulted in him huffing and walking back to his hut giving you no room to argue anymore. Great just how you wanted to spend your night, in the dark forest.

You packed what you needed and headed out that night, frustrated and annoyed but vigilant, you couldn't mess up again after all no matter how much you despised him he's still your superior.

Meanwhile at his hut Tighnari was pacing back and fourth biting his knuckles. He knew his rut was starting soon and he was very anxious on it, it always came so suddenly, no matter how much he prepared he was truly never prepared for it.

The thought of losing himself in his rut made him anxious. It was like a parasite in his mind, slowly taking over his thoughts. His brain kept telling him it wasn't going to happen, that he would be strong enough to suppress it, he had control. However it was never enough, so he always stayed in his hut during it, it wasn't too bad until you came around. He hated to admit it but his instincts wanted you, everything about you was perfect, well almost everything. He hated how you retaliated against him, to his animal side it was a sign of dominance and it was very degrading to him that this female he wanted as a mate kept trying to over throw him, he couldn't have that, but he also didn't want to admit he liked you. So he hid it under aggression, even when he was calm.

So tonight before you left to go on patrol he slipped some aphrodisiacs in your water bottles, if he must suffer this lust so should you.

It was late when his rut hit him like a ton of bricks, it wasn't something he could ever ease into, it always hits him at once.

He's on his bed rutting into his pillow, he couldn't get enough, he kept thinking of you, it didn't help the paperwork from your sloppy survey was scented by you. He got annoyed and stood up, he couldn't stop it anymore he needed you. He didn't even bother to put anything on, only wearing boxers. Tonight was the new moon so the area would be pitch black, hiding him well.

Back to you, after drinking almost all your water as you used a flashlight to look around, you noticed yours starting to feel hot, thinking maybe it's just humid you pull off your jacket leaving you in a tank top. But it didn't help, your body was reacting to something but as you looked around none of the flora or mushrooms should have any effects like this. Arousal bubbling in your stomach as you felt a bit dizzy, you continue to walk trying to find your way home as the dizziness made it more difficult.

"You don't look so good, maybe you should let me help" you heard his voice though it didn't seem like him at all. You turn to see Tighnari, well kinda it's hard to see but his green brown eyes shined fairly easily. They're hazed over with lust his voice also spoke of it.

"Tighnari.. i-i don't know what's g-going on its like some flora-"

"I'll give you one minute to run, after that I won't show any mercy to you or your soft body" he spoke as he looked down on you, it was like a predator looking at his pray, drool slightly gathering at the corner of his lips, picking them as he watched.

"But Tighnari-" interrupted again as he started to count down, realizing he was serious you turn and make a run for it, however it was hard to run with your head and body in another place, the dizziness making it hard not to run into something as your legs felt weak, but you continued.

Tighnari followed you but in a walk, he didn't need to run, your arousal was enough of a trail for him to find you easily, that and you weren't that quiet either as you ran. His tail swishing back and fourth eagerly as his ears twitched to every little sound you made.

Though you had more stamina when it came to running then he thought, annoyed it's taking longer he used his Dendro vision to create a root below you, causing you to fall over.

"Too bad you didn't survey the area huh? You would've known of these roots being everywhere" he scoffed, even though he did create this one, it was merely an extension to an already existing root.

You reached out trying to crawl away but was stopped as soon as you felt his body against yours, more roots gathering around your wrists to hold them still as his hands start to pull your clothing off, his claws tearing at them easily. You whine and squirm under him, only causing him to become more aroused if possible "You're not helping your case, then again when do you ever do anything right? " he scolds and degrades as he nuzzled into your neck, licking and biting at spots until he found your sensitive spot, causing you to let out a moan, his tail swaying faster at your response.

His hand traveled upwards slowly to stroke along your skin and he started moving his tongue up against your throat, lapping at your tender flesh. Your breathing grew heavier at the sensation and you tried to fight it but were unable, Tighnari started kissing your jawline and ear lobe and you let your head hang to the side.

He soon grew more impatient as his he wanted to make you his, he couldn't wait as you felt his tip press against your hole

"T-Tighnari wait!" you whined in protest yet he didn't pay any mind slamming himself into you, a low growl leaving his throat as his clawed hands grip your hips, his snapped into yours over and over, causing his claws to leave red streaks behind. With each shove he felt himself getting closer to his goal as his mouth latched on to your neck, teeth grazing the soft skin there as you squirmed under him.

Your hands clawing the dirt and vines holding them, your body felt closer to a release, as much as you tried to hold back you couldn't, his hand holding your throat tightly as he groaned, feeling your walls clamp against his cock, causing him to feel his release coming quickly. As he moaned loudly you couldn't help it, you were about to cum as your whole body tensed up, letting out a scream that you instantly regretted as your back arched as your climax washed over you with force, Tighnari bit your shoulder leaving his mark as you felt his knot swell, shoving it into as far as he could, filling your womb with his seed.

Once you calmed down he laid there panting and moaning,his knot finally going down, his claws digging into your arms which you could now see were covered in red welts. "I'm not finished yet" he said in a dark tone as he slammed himself back in "by the time the sun rises I'll make sure you take, you'll be so full of my pups" His hand grazing your stomach as he picked his speed up once more. Your body spasm as you couldn't stay awake, slowly passing out, feeling that he wasn't slowing down.

[hxjikonn]

Could I request headcanons of Leona, Ace, Deuce and Jamil with an s/o that forgets everything except for their name, their favorite food and the boys' names?

A/N: Hiii! A little heads up, The Reader would be GN! Thanks so much for requesting and for being patient<3

——————————————————————————

Scatterbrain

☆Staring☆: Leona Kingscholar, Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, and Jamil Viper

Synopsis: Their Headcannons with an GN!Reader who forgets things easily.

Warnings/Heads up: There are some hurt to comfort parts but mostly fluff, harmless lighthearted cuss words, LONG ASS HEADCANNON, prolly not proofread.

Leona Kingscholar

We all know the stubborn king can be impatient and irritable so the great 7 decided to test him more when they gave him a s/o who forgets everything all the time.

He does this all the time that whenever you’d call him and he already has default questions he’d ask you.

“Where did you last see it?” “What were you doing last?” “When was the last time you saw it?” “Who were you last with?” “Did you retrace your steps?”

Before you could even ask him, your questions were already answered.

Thinks it’s cute and funny sometimes that you forget.

Like whenever you’d put a pencil behind your ear and then proceed to look for it 2 minutes later, he’d just watch you for a bit looking confused and laugh, then he’d tell you it was on your ear

Thinks it’s hilarious when you don’t remember irrelevant people’s names. The headmage of RSA went to greet you one time and your response was “Sorry, who are you?” you meant well but it was just funny

He usually lets Ruggie deal with his responsibilities, but you? No. He’s responsible for you, it’s rare that the students of NRC sees Leona far from you, he’s always beside you or behind you.

He snapped at you one time but never again, he was EXTREMELY MOODY that day so he tells you to go piss off and bother Ruggie or someone else instead.

He took a long ass nap and when he woke up the next morning he thought you probably have forgotten about it by now, breaking news you didn’t.

Leona started noticing you never came to him to ask questions whenever you forget about something, and when he was around you dont even speak or come near him that much. Strike 1.

He was on edge the whole day, he told Ruggie he wasn’t upset or anxious but his tail betrayed him when it kept swinging and hitting the floor making a thumping noise.

He told Ruggie to go get you, and when you arrived you didn’t even look him in the eye, strike 2, he called out to you and instead of walking towards him you asked him “why?” Strike 3.

He was now fully aware that you in fact DID NOT forget about him yelling at you yesterday. He stood up, went towards you, carried you like a sack on his shoulder and went back under the tree he was sitting at.

He sat down, sat YOU down infront of him and dragged you down to lay with him, he curled up against you and apologized. You apologized for being a pain but he stopped you and told you that you shouldn’t.

Was so worried he drove you away from him. Was 10x more clingy and controlled his temper a lot more, only around you of course, he couldn’t give a single flying fuck about losing his cool with other people.

Would kill people who snap at you for being forgetful, figuratively and/or literally depending if they beg you for forgiveness or not.

When you start talking badly about yourself for being forgetful or if you get stressed when you forget things, he’d calm you down by forcing you to take a nap with him and tell you that you two will find it when you wake up.

Ace Trappola

He wouldn’t be annoyed at all, honestly this is nothing compared to the ridiculous rules at the Heartslabyul dormitory.

He doesn’t really remember much either, he tends to forget things he finds uninteresting or unimportant too so he understands what you feel.

He’d help you find whatever or whoever you’re looking for, cuz if you ask him if he remembers he probably say he doesn’t, because he really doesn’t.

Thinks it’s funny whenever you two ask each other the same question in unison when you both forgot about something.

Since he’s the one who remembers more at classes, he helps you by going through the textbook to highlight important words so it’s easy for you to remember.

He knows it’s a struggle to remember what you review before a test so he takes the time out of his day to highlight words for you so it’s easier to remember.

Always takes it lightly when you forget about stuff, and just helps you find them but there was one time where he got angry at you. It was winter, He lended you his jacket while heading to school since you forgot yours, he was already snappy cuz Riddle gave him a scolding that morning.

He tells you to put it in your bag when you get to class, cuz if you forget it somewhere, both of you are going to have to go home freezing cold. You said yes and you two went your separate ways into your first classes for the day.

When the bell rang, he just got out from yet another scolding from one of the teachers, he had a bad day, he just wants to go home and go to bed. But he remembers he still has to wait for you. So he did.

When you got there, he told you to take out the jacket he gave you from your bag so you two can use it as head cover since it was snowing really bad. The moment your smile dropped he knew, and he let out a frustrated groan.

“You lost it didn’t you?” He asked you angrily, you apologized and you told him you’d go look for it but he snapped at you telling you to not go cuz it’s pointless, telling you that you wouldn’t remember where you left it even if he’d hit you in the head.

He walked home on his own, left you there. When he got back home to Heartslabyul he took a warm bath to calm him down. After he’s cleared his head, he realized it wasn’t fair that he snapped at you because HE had a bad day…so he got out of the bath, put some clothes on and went to call you.

You didn’t pick up, he thought it was fair, since he was a jerk anyway. He laid on his bed thinking about how he’d apologize to you tomorrow when Deuce came back from school too. After Heys have been exchanged he asked Ace if you had been taking extra classes, ace said no and asked why, Deuce told him he still saw you in your classroom when he was about to leave.

Ace stood up immediately, it was so cold out, why were you still at school? He grabbed his coat, put on a beanie, scarf and gloves and brought extra for you. He ran to go back to NRC, when he got there you were roaming the hallways, so he ran up to you scolding for staying there for that long. Then he noticed that you were clutching on to his jacket that he lend you this morning.

You were so frustrated with your forgetfulness you started crying while apologizing for being the reason why he got mad, He felt like he just shattered when he saw you like that, he gave you the tightest hug ever and told you it wasn’t your fault, and that he was sorry for being a jerk to you earlier. You two went home and he slept over at Ramshackle with you because he feels really bad for what he did he couldn’t leave you alone.

He’d repeat many mistakes, but not that one, he made sure he never repeated that one ever again, he always reassures you that you’re not a burden and that he’s not mad or annoyed with you when you forget things.

Deuce Spade

His patience capacity is literally so long it’s VERY rare that he’d be annoyed by you forgetting things

Would be so sweet about it too, whenever you’d call his name or go up to him telling him that you lost something, he would tell you that it was okay and that he’s gonna help you find it.

Would remember things for you, like where you put down your keys last, where you were about to go for the day, errand you needed to run, etc.

Doesn’t like you to fuss and get stressed over losing / misplacing / forgetting something so whenever you’d ask he doesn’t panic, instead he tells you to calm down so you two can retrace your steps

Is literally so proud of you when you remember something on your own, he’d smile brightly and praise you for remembering little things. He just loves you that much.

Would threaten to beat a guy up if they ever even think about making you feel bad for forgetting something.

Helps you with school work, though he’s struggling himself he knows that he probably remembers most out of the two of you.

He never got upset over you forgetting things, but there was this one big misunderstanding between you two a while back, NRC was going to visit RSA for a joint school event, and everyone was busy packing.

He was in Ramshackle with you, packing your things before he went back to Heartslabyul to pack his things cuz he knows you might forget important stuff.

When he was about to leave he told you which part of the school you needed to wait until they arrive so you can wait for the bus together, he also reminded Grimm but unfortunately Grimm was busy packing tuna.

Came the next day, everyone was already on the bus but you were nowhere to be found, Deuce excused himself to his dorm leader, telling him he’ll just take the next one with you, Riddle allowed it. And Deuce got off, he was worried so he searched the whole campus for you while carrying his bags.

He found you wondering around in a hallway and he was quick to approach and scold you about worrying him, turns out you were already frustrated from your own forgetfulness, but you didn’t tell him and just apologized.

He dragged you to where you were supposed to be and neither of you uttered a word, the bus came you two got on and sat down. Grimm sat on your lap asleep, you played with his ears so hoping you stress would be relieved but it didn’t.

It was too quiet and Deuce noticed that, he glanced at you to see you frustratedly fiddling with the ends of your sleeve, he sighed grabbed one of your hand and kissed the back of it.

He apologized for lashing out on you, explaining that he was just really worried, you let your head rest on his shoulder and also apologized for worrying him, he hums and kissed the crown of your head. You two feel asleep until you got RSA.

He always makes sure to tell you that he wasn’t angry at you, and that he watches his tone when speaking to you, so you don’t think that, Deuce would always resolve conflicts and misunderstandings between you two immediately.

Jamil Viper

He’s been taking care of Kalim all his life, you think he’d still be fazed by your forgetfulness? Not even in the slightest.

Plus he’s a virgo male for god’s sake you wouldn’t even know what’s going on in his head since his default face is 😐

Would always assure you isn’t mad tho.

Like Deuce, he’d remember things for you, but in his case he’d remember EVERYTHING for you.

What class do you have next? He knows where that is, and he’ll take you there

You didn’t drink water today cuz you forgot? No that’s not possible he always reminds you to.

Where did you put your phone down? He’s got it, he’d pick it up whenever you put it down and forget it.

Would find it cute that you forget most people’s names but not his, that means he’s left an unforgettable impression on you, which he still wonders what he did for you not to forget his name.

When he asked you your favorite food he was prepared to be met with a “I forgot” but surprisingly you told him, and he was happy you remember it cuz now he has something to cook for you.

When you misplace something the conversation usually goes like this: “Jamil do you know where I put my—“ “It’s in the bottom drawer of your cabinet” “I didn’t even say what it was” “was it your favorite hoodie that you stole from me?” “….yes.” “See? I knew” “okay thx love you” “love you too *continues what he was doing”

Whenever he’d feel like he’d reach his breaking point, he steps back and calms himself down before he starts an unnecessary argument.

He started doing that because he snapped at you by accident one time and he still beats himself up for saying the things that he did. He was having an extra stressful day because of school work and Kalim’s shenanigans. He had to deal with people Kalim accidentally offended by his carelessness with his words.

He had a pounding headache after defusing the situation and it wasn’t over cuz he still had school work to take care of, little did he know Kalim invited you because he knows you’re able to calm Jamil down when he feels stressed

But it turned out to be opposite this time, when he heard the knocks on his door it already pissed him off, so when he heard your voice call out to him his automatic thought was that you forgotten about something again.

He let out a loud frustrated groan so you were taken a back and you asked what was wrong. He immediately turned to you, glaring, and told you that it was you, he told you to stop being stupid and remember things on your own because he’s not you caretaker, he ranted about all the things he’s been through today and told you to never come to him again.

His words were only anger fueled, you knew that…but it still hurt a lot, he said it with such spite that it stung like venom so you only responded with a small ‘sorry’ and you closed his door and left Scarabia without uttering another word.

You didn’t see each other for a whole 3 days, you avoided running into him, looking at him, just avoided him in general thinking he was still mad at you. He noticed this because whenever he’d walk up to you, you’d turn around or walk right pass him.

He felt that you needed space and he gave it to you but he really did start to miss you, he knew about the things he said, he knew how it must’ve made you feel, it sickens him to his stomach that you had to hear that coming from him of all people.

Jamil couldn’t sleep at night, and this was the last time because he got up and went to your dormitory. He had to fix this, he threw pebbles at your window to get your attention, and it did. You poked your head at the window to see him standing there, you were taken aback cuz it was so late, so you went down and met him outside.

You hurriedly ask what he was doing out here so late and all he did in response was drop his head on your shoulder. He wanted to pull you close but he chose not to yet. He apologized and told you that he never meant all those horrible things, when you started crying he pulled you closer to him peppering kisses on your shoulder mumbling i love yous and I’m sorrys. He slept there for the night making up for all those days he couldn’t hold you.

When he remembers that memory and how he hurt you, he’d suddenly go up to you and hug you, reminding you that he loves you and pressing butterfly kisses on your cheek, just resting against you, until he forgets about it again.

[slickfordain]

Heyy! I love your works and I just got into SAGAU. I was planning on making a second acct for genshin and it got me thinking how the charas would react in the second acct where their creator basically speed runs the quest XD, how do you think they will react? Keep up the good work and have a great day ahead <3

Wish to relate,, but I think my twin can relate to you AKDBSKBS - also forgive me for the delay, I had so much work

Yandere-themed, male MC (Aether), Abyss princess (Lumine), platonic children

Consider this as… Creating a second universe, a second world. So everything and everyone would be the exact same, having the same thoughts and same dialogues that would take many minutes to finish. So your first instincts?

It was leveling Aether up to 40 along with the characters that the Mondstadt quest ended so quickly. The battle with Dvalin wasn’t even that badly… And how do these characters react?

Mondstadt arc, Amber felt the light of her God before her speech was being somehow interrupted so quickly. Aether couldn’t quite catch on with what she said, before feeling his body movement speeding up somehow… His eyes were widening every time, and many, MANY characters didn’t understand how and why were their speeches going shorter.

Jean tried finding a solution, she did, really. But while everyone was so confused— this made Aether incredibly happy. Don’t get him wrong, he would like to know more about the world of Teyvat- but just feeling someone guiding him the right path… He couldn’t help but feel so— powerful. The way he defeated Dvalin under just a mere minute.. He was in euphoria. Oh, whoever controlled him, please marry him.

Then there was the Liyue arc. Zhongli has tried stopping the nonsense of the dialogues being skipped, but even his own ability rejected him and now he can’t even speak properly. So many complaints.. So many questions— Liyue and Mondstadt were at this point having a conversation and deals with one another to figure why the hell is Aether getting so strong these past few days.

Until, Xingqiu and a person from Inazuma named “Ayato”, have been doing secret deals with Inazuma, to encounter many characters with a suspicious book shipped from Sumeru. Yes, Kaveh and Alhaitham have visited Mondstadt before the festival— To greet their old witch friend, Lisa. So thanks to Lisa, she has tried giving Diluc and Jean some clues but…

Considering how competitive the blonde and the red haired man is;; you can tell they didn’t really listen to Lisa, so the woman gave up on lending a hand to them and kept talking to Xingqiu about the secret of Sumeru to ship it off to Inazuma. Ayato was the first one to reach it, so now, everyone is ecstatic to hear the theory Xingqiu and Ayato has for now.

You.

It was you all along who controlled the traveler, leveling him and making sure he stayed in shape. The book is scarily detailed about your features and shape, and how you are just a human Godly being speeding everything up. Was everything slow? Why were you speeding up?

Just… Who were you, and why do they feel like they’ve seen you before?

The first account you made, or well, the first “world” of Teyvat— would become anxious. Where have you been? They haven’t seen you since “one week ago”. (Remember, one minute in-game = one second irl) Zhongli was impatiently sitting by his chair, biting his tip of the pen aggressively because he missed you so.

Why did you leave?

Why aren’t you coming back?

Did the Acolytes and him… Scare you?

No. All warmth came back when the sun shone brighter, revealing your name up in the sky again, mentioning you’ve logged back on.

You were back. As you should be.

You got so many mails from the Acolytes. The desperate cries, the gifts of primogems and wishes, the salted tears being soaked into a bottle- To say the least, you were pretty shocked of what just happened. There were detailed apology letters, the “last” confession letters;; thinking it was all over therefore they’re confessing to you.

You could even notice when you went to check on your party, that, Lumine’s skin / arm was completely slightly literally peeled. You were horrified. Was this a new update? Did you miss anything? Was this Lumine’s new skin? Can you change it???

“Man what the fuck I just started another Teyvat story by using Aether this time— is mans gonna have peeled skin too?”

Your voice was very quiet, very soft and gentle;; but the Acolytes heard your voice clear enough because you were near the screen. Their eyes would widen, the Shogun would stop her little “festival” of the visions— and stare at the sky with everyone else. Another story of Teyvat?

The Raiden Ei wouldn’t think it would be possible to go across a dimensional world… But clearly you’ve proven yourself YOU could do that. Only you. The Archons are… Confused…. But so excited… Another story? Did you enjoy them that much, that you’ve created another world? Oh… Oh sweet sweet divine.

Venti’s on his knees, hands clapped together and gazed upon the sky with a massive blush crossing his face. Praying, yelling, being in euphoria. “Your grace! We love you so much! We will try our best to keep you more happy!” Was all that left Venti’s lips, before the Acolytes decided to let you have your fun, and tell them about your story of using another twin that technically was related to the female traveler, Lumine.

Lumine glances at you once in a while in complete awe. You… You can control her other twin too… You knew where he was— and you decided to make a world where he isn’t with the Abyss… But question is, who is in the Abyss then?

Curious Acolytes… They couldn’t help themselves but to also feel jealous. They wanted to keep you for themselves but… Now there’s a different version of them. And it’s not wrong to say the second account felt the same way despite not even knowing who you are and what they were doing… They just felt like they suddenly knew their backstories and knew they just existed.

The Abyss princess Lumine, in your second account, was able to even understand who you were immediately, quicker than the others as her hands were nothing but spilled with cherry red. Her sword drawn with a small glow, blood leaking down, her eyes darting up in the sky with a massive blush;; her pupils being replaced with hearts. And her soul? Corrupted. This was her reason of staying in Teyvat. This was her reason of choosing the Abyss over her brother. It’s because of you.

The second account’s world with the Acolytes soon starts to grow on understanding the situation. Their minds and feelings have gone completely out of hand, and they don’t know why. The story of the God, you, being read about… Just twisted their minds and hearts. Shaky breaths, scratching their skins, it was a mere second they could see you up in the sky too.

Oh good gracious…

You were…

Beautiful / handsome.

And Aether could’ve sworn he feels himself getting distracted over and over again, accidentally killing the Mitachurls and destroying ruin guards out of love.

Yae Miko has insisted herself, from now on, the Inazuma civilians will now only write the story of how the God looks like. Something the other Yae Miko wouldn’t do. Oh, did you think this was over? Haha. I blame you for making a second account, dear.

You see, if the accounts— worlds— knew they were created by you, then it’s obvious they’re trying to show off which world is better.

They will always find a way to outshine the other— which lead them having the same goal. They want to be with you. Gifts, more gifts, and gifts again. You were gifted with primogems. You at this point, didn’t even say anything else as you had to be very grateful of what you were gifted with. For Hoyoverse, clearly has favorites.

Ayaka challenging the other Ayaka by dancing is something you could notice by. The other Ayaka would seem stiff while the other would be more smooth and elegant- not that you gave a shit by… Or, perhaps noticing Venti’s small mistake on a song while the other Venti did it with no mistakes. Not one bit.

Perhaps Diluc and Kaeya getting along more better than the other Diluc and Kaeya. Such immature boys, who would ever want to fight by such little things? Totally not them.

Or, again, maybe you could notice the quality of the two worlds. The high intelligence, Alhaitham suddenly knowing more about the Archons and Khaenri’ah, Dainsleif flooding you and the traveler with so many lore and informations, Nahida dumping you a whole fucking book about the war, the other children damaging more and more.

You were…

Interested, to say the least… But being tired, you never really cared about stuff like these. You still thought this was part of the lore of the characters doing such things, and somehow, you ended up getting Snezhnaya, Fontaine, and even Natlan into your map that had you going: 🗿⁉️

Since when did you even have that much storage?

Now there’s more characters— and the Hydro Archon was there too? Oh… Oh shit. If the Hydro Archon is there, that means clearly the other world of that said account you’re in right now has to do better. Cute, they got Snezhnaya and other nations? Baby shit.

Feast your eyes on Celestia.

“Ayo what why is Celestia here I— Are we really gonna fight it? Hell no—”

You were now just peacefully collecting papers and things to defeat Celestia;; feeding your characters and pampering them. Doesn’t matter which account, because why in the ever loving Archons is Celestia even released? You’re going to die like this without a spoiler alert from Hoyoverse.

You’ve got whatever you needed, didn’t you? If that wasn’t enough, then the Acolytes will do more. Xiao and Hu Tao will erase every ruin guards. You hated them so much didn’t you? It’s only right they eliminate those bastards.

The Fatuis, are no better either in condition. The Tsaritsa has sent many and many workers to kill off innocence, and some people who are never good enough for you.

Say for example the perfume lady and her crafting boyfriend who were making and crafting potions for a way of letting those two into your place, and take you in for the care… Yeah they absolutely died too. They weren’t safe to begin with.

Oh, would you look at that? You logged off.

I should make a second account

[danikamariewrites]

do you write for dark reader?

if so could i please request a slightly dark reader x slightly dark batboys, reader might be obsessive and wants them to herself so seeing their exes drives her crazy with rage. the thought of there being someone else who used to share a bed with them makes her mad. slowly all the people they used to see end up missing , they eventually catch her but aren’t afraid or mad. They finally stop hiding their dark side aswell.

They discovers she has one of the girls rhys dated a while back tied up in her basement and they are so happy bc she is showing them she cares and is possesive, yeah they’re all just nuts idk🙏😍

Missing

Poly!bat boys x dark!reader

A/n: I’m loving these dark!reader requests plz send me more guys

Warnings: kidnapping, mentions of torture, mentions of violence (plz lmk if I missed anything)

“Curious,” Azriel said under his breath as he ran his eyes over the cork board set up in Rhys’s office. The reports of missing females from around Velaris are tacked to the board. Each with notes underneath from Rhys. “There has to be something connecting them, right?” Cassian asked.

“The names look familiar,” Azriel looked over his shoulder at Rhys. “Cass, didn’t you briefly see Melody a decade ago?” Cassian stepped up to the board, staring at the name and notes. “And Rhys, you were with Dela before we were mated to y/n.”

Rhys stood, crossing the room to inspect the board as well. “These are all females we’ve dated.” Azriel connected the dots for them, their eyes went wide. Rhys’s mind was running wild with theories.

Cassian voiced what the three of them were thinking. “Do you think y/n has something to do with this?” Azriel and Rhys turned to him with a bewildered look. Appalled that he could suggest that. But Rhys couldn’t be angry at Cassian. Not when he was thinking the same thing.

Azriel was fuming. He grabbed Cassian by the collar of his leathers, slamming him into the wall, causing the room to shake. “Don’t you dare think for a second she could do anything like this.” Azriel growled at him. Cassian held up his hands in defense.

Rhys pulled Azriel off Cassian, “Az, I won’t lie to you, I’m having the same thoughts. You can’t deny she might know something.” Azriel took a deep, shaky breath. “I know,” he breathed out, “I just…you think she would do this? We have that side to us but her? I’m not sure.”

“I’ll talk to her.” Rhys would have to approach this carefully. He didn’t want you to shut down or push him away.

———

Later that afternoon Rhys found you in the garden sitting with the flowers. You looked so sweet. So perfect. He didn’t want to ruin this peace, but he’s High Lord and he has a duty to the citizens of his court. Rhys sits with you, putting a smile on his face.

When you look at Rhys your face lights up. You throw your arms around him, tackling him to the soft grass, both of you giggling. You rest your chin on his chiseled chest and bat your eyelashes at him. “Hi Rhysie. I thought you were working.”

Rhys rested a hand on your back tracing small circles as he smiled back at you. “I am baby, but I was hoping you could help us with something.” You tilt your head curiously at him. Your brows knit together in confusion. “Me?” Rhys sits up turning you to sit with your back to his chest.

That’s when you noticed the file in his hand. You were praying to the Mother that this wasn’t what you thought it was. You were trying to keep your heart rate under control so your mates wouldn’t feel it. When you saw the first paper with Melody’s name you wanted to freeze up. You kept your body as relaxed as possible. You can get through this, you kept telling yourself over and over again.

“The three of us knew these missing females.” Rhys was taking a gentle tone with you. You could tell he was worried you would get flighty or anxious. “That’s weird. I didn’t know females were going missing?” You might’ve over done it with the innocence in your tone, but Rhys, Cass, and Az would never know anything.

Not if you could help it.

So you pulled out your greatest weapon. Your fear. “Am I safe Rhys?” You were trembling. You couldn’t help it at this point. What would your mates think of you if they knew you were the one doing this.

Rhys’s eyes went wide. “Oh darling, of course you’re safe. You have the three of us. No one would ever get you.” He coos at you, holding your face in his hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck forcing out tears. You sat like that for a long time. Rhys eventually carried you inside, leaving you in the kitchen. With a quick kiss on your head he was headed back up to his office to finish up his work for the day.

When Rhys was out of ear shot you snapped back into your cold self. They we’re getting suspicious and you didn’t like that. You’d have to make this last one count then.

It’s not like you were going after all of their ex-girlfriends. Just the ones you knew they had briefly passed by in shops or at you guy’s favorite coffee shop. You could scent them. Knowing that those females touched your mates drove you insane.

They had their chance. And now they needed to stay very far away. You had ensured they did. But there was one last female you had to tend to.

You remember what you did to all of them. Their punishments fitting their crimes. One lost all her fingers simply for handing Azriel a napkin and letting her touching linger too long. Another lost her beauty for trying to seduce Cassian. Dela was the most fun. She lost her pretty singing voice she claimed Rhys loved soooo much.

They all ended up in the same place. Dead, never to be seen again.

You flung open the door that lead to the dungeons deep into the mountain the House of Wind sat on. Azriel hadn’t used this place in centuries. Nor did he watch over the secret passage way at the bottom of the house. You’d have to seal that permanently when you were done here.

As your footsteps echoed around the cavernous halls you heard Maurelle’s muffled screams. Another one of Cassian’s exes. Approaching the cell you stop outside the cell door. Maurelle starts screaming and tugging at the chains tying her to the wall. Her face was splotchy and covered in tears.

You unlocked the door smirking as you slowly made your way to her. “Sshhh,” Maurelle’s yelling faltered. You grabbed her jaw forcing her to look at you. She struggled against you but your could tell she was getting weaker.

“Unfortunately, our fun has been spoiled.” Your voice was quite laced with fake sympathy, “I haven’t decided how long I’m going to keep you though.” Maurelle started sobbing again, lolling her head back and forth in your grip.

“Awww. I know I’m upset too.” You pushed her head back into the stone. After she let out a cry you started walking away, slamming the cell door shut again, locking it. Not like she’d go anywhere. “I’ll be back later!” You shouted over your shoulder, heading back up to the house.”

———

Coming back up to the main house you scurried off the the library to bury your face into a book until dinner.

An hour later Azriel was pushing the door open of the upstairs library, his shadows swirling around him and daring ahead of him, as he looked around for you. “Y/n,” you put your book down and hurry over to Azriel before he could cross the threshold.

“Hi Azzy. I missed you today.” He smiled down at you, holding your chin between his fingers. “I missed you too princess.” Azriel leaned down to place a small kiss on your lips. He slipped his large hand in yours and pulled you out of the room. “Dinners ready so I thought I’d come get you.” “Thank the Mother, I’m starving.”

———

Dinner was going by far too slow for you. The clock on the mantle behind you seemed to be ticking extra loudly this evening. Your nerves had gotten worse. You felt yourself slipping. If you gave something away they’d get suspicious. And you were already uncharacteristically quiet tonight.

“Sweetheart, are you ok? You’ve barley said anything?” You jump a little looking at your mates. “Oh. I’m fine. Just thinking.” Cassian reaches across the table to hold your clammy hand. “Rhys told us you were nervous. It’s ok y/n. We’d never let anything happen to you.” He swiped his thumb across the palm of your hand and gave you a small smile.

“Thank you, Cass.” You squeezed his hand, returning his smile. When Cassian pulled his hand back he looked down at his plate, picking up his fork. You watched him blink down at his hand.

Cassian’s eyes narrow at his thumb as he brings it closer to his face to inspect it. “Dried blood?” Shit. You didn’t wash your hands when you came up from the dungeons.

Cassian sniffed, but your could tell he didn’t recognize the scent. He held his hand out for Rhys and realization dawned on his face when he recognized the scent. All three of them were now looking at you. “Darling, is there something you want to tell us?”

Rhys had the feline grin plastered on his lips. Your heart was beating so fast you were certain they could feel it. Suddenly you felt waves of reassurance down the bond. “You’re not mad?” They all shook their heads. “Just tell us what’s happened, y/n. I promise everything will be fine.”

“Are you going to break the bond? Am I going to jail?” You ask quickly, eyeing them in case they moved to grab you. They each let out a deep chuckle. “No darling. We would never dream of that.”

You slowly stand from the table motioning for them to follow you. As you lead them to the dungeon you explained everything. Your jealous tendencies. The rage you felt scenting another female on them when they’d come home from the city. How you just wanted to rip your hair out at the thought of another female with them in any way.

Entering the dungeon Azriel stopped you. “You did all of this for us.” You nod. “You’re so cute princess.” You were confused. And it clearly showed on your face. “What, did you think we didn’t hunt down your ex-boyfriend’s?” Cassian asked with a deadly smirk.

A devilish smile broke out on your own lips. “We couldn’t let those males think they’d have another chance with you now could we?” You shook your head in agreement. Good, you were all on the same page.

Rhys brought a hand up to cup your cheek. “Now who do we have down here darling?” You grabbed his hand, guiding them towards the cell at the very end. “Maurelle.” Your voice chipper with your nerves gone. “I could scent her perfume on you last week. It was an unwanted hug I assume?” “Of course it was darling.”

You hummed in approval at being right. Oh you were going to have so much fun with them as you ended Maurelle.

[slasherstories123]

Roommates

Chapter 2

Summary: You get attacked by Michael Myers and do something that you think you’ll regret.

Tagslist: @dootys @callmemeelah @fluffy-little-demon @mehidktbh @slash3rl0v3r @the-anxious-youth @charliedawn @mrs-heelshire @naxxsstuff @turdmongler @kawaistrawberry21 @l0sercat @beanbagbitch @oneofvincentscandles @vexeliers-breakroom @beel-mcburger @sleepypersonblog @slasherscrybaby @sadskies @bunnysenpai31 @alexxavicry @emychan @pink-apollo @misscaller06 @7iluc

Your head was practically pounding as you got slammed against the wall, hot, tight fingers were wrapped around your neck, choking you. You dropped the knife trying to get the hand off of you so you could breathe. The grip was too strong, it hurts. You kicked the person in front of you, they didn’t budge. Clawing at their hand, you tried scratching it, digging your nails into their skin, they still didn’t budge. As you tried to look at them, you realized that it was a man who wore a mask and blue coveralls. Dark spots blurred your vision, clawing at the mask to rip it off. The man put you down, giving you a small amount of time to catch your breath and grab the knife again. You took another good look at him, the realization then hit you. This is Michael myers.. You ran past him, out the room, taking in a painful gasp of air, your throat hurts. But you didn’t have time to groan in pain about it.

How did Michael Myers find you? Why is he after you? Doesn’t he only catch babysitters? A loud slam made you flinch, he’s angry. You quickly hid in one of the kitchen cabinets under the sink. Curling up in a ball to fit. Your shaky hand held onto the knife, trying to control your breathing. It started to get hot underneath the cabinet, sweat slowly piling up on your hand that held the knife. You needed air, cool air. It felt like you were hiding in there for hours. Back starting to ache being in a curled up position. You hoped and begged that Michael left, left you alone and went to find a different victim to mess with, anyone but you. You wanted to live, still having a lot of life ahead of you.

You slowly opened the cabinet, quickly sticking the knife out just in case Michael was present. When the coast was clear, you slowly crawled out of there. Sighing at the feeling of being free and not stuck under the darkness of the cabinets. It was dark, but not pitch black to where you couldn’t see, which was good, but you had to be on the lookout. You've heard many rumors about Michael Myers, well enough to know that he could pop out any minute. A hand tugged your shirt, making you look at the dark abyss of the mask. You screamed as you swung the knife, managing to cut his hip, he looked down at the wound, but then looked back at you. Is this guy immune to pain or something?! He threw you against the couch, you bounced off and hit the ground, groaning in pain since you landed on your face. Back hurting to where your back was used to being hunched over.

The man picked you up by your hair, you felt his knee pressed against your back, his other hand pinning your two arms behind your back with a harsh grip that was sure to leave bruises.You were pinned down to the ground, you couldn’t do anything. His knife aimed at your neck, getting ready to slice your throat. “WAIT!” You screamed, it caught him off guard, stopping his movement, still having a firm grip on your hair. Your heart beating rapidly, the adrenaline running through your whole body. ‘I’ll… give you an offer.” You waited for more movement, a reaction, heck even him speaking. Instead, he dropped your head, letting out another groan since you hit your nose this time. Shakily, you stood up, looking up at the masked man with the knife. You now had to think of an offer now that you said it, but what can you give him in exchange for your life. You looked back at the stairs, a stupid idea popping up in your head.

No way! I’m not gonna ask a killer to live with me! Voices in your head kept screaming at you to not do it. What if he kills you in your sleep and just betrays you? There’s no other choice, it’s either you let him live with you or get killed by Michael Myers, and there's no stopping him.. “If you let me live…. You can live here in this mansion. I won’t call the cops… and you can live here as a hiding place. You have my word.” Silence filled both of you, you shrewd at him even though his eyes weren't visible. He towered over you, breathing heavily, gripping the knife to where his knuckles turned white. You hoped that he’d take the offer, you want to live, you just got the mansions and wanted to be by yourself. He walked past you with a huff, waiting by the stairs.

You were confused until he looked back at the stairs, then at you. It clicked in your head. “Oh!” You slowly walked past him, only taking your eyes off of him when you went upstairs, by the time you made it upstairs, he was right behind you. You picked a room, any room, hoping that he wouldn’t stab you or hurt you. “Here, this will be your room. You can stay in here for as long as you need too, especially if the police are on your tail, but also do me a favor and make sure you don’t get me or yourself caught, it won't look good on either of us..” He let out a small huff in response. Walking past you and dropping the knife by the bed. You took a few steps backwards before entering your own room, closing the door behind you, pressing your back against it before sliding down to the ground. “Great,” You whispered. “Now I have a killer living with me.” You laid on the ground.

Luckily he didn’t hurt you too bad to where you can’t move. Eventually making it to your bed to lay there. Eyes slowly dropping, you needed to stay awake, there’s a killer in the house, but you were tired after that encounterment. Eyes finally closing. Taking deep breaths before you finally went to sleep.

[morelikeravenbore]

🍭Sebastian Sallow fluffy oneshot.

No trigger warnings unless you can't handle Sebastian being a anxiety-ridden love-sick cutie patootie face (ie it's me, I cant handle it, help) Written for a discord writing event. Inspired by the song Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles.

Sebastian Sallow x Aurélie Collins (my original character).

Word count: 1.4k

Sebastian Sallow had landed himself in a predicament so dire that despite applying every ounce of his impressive mental facilities to finding a solution, only two viable options were clear to him: he could fake an illness and flee back to Scotland, or he could throw himself off the cliff he was presently stood atop and drown in the Mediterranean Sea below.

[WATTPAD | AO3 | HL Masterlist]

Read below the cut :)

Sebastian Sallow had landed himself in a predicament so dire that despite applying every ounce of his impressive mental facilities to finding a solution, only two viable options were clear to him: he could fake an illness and flee back to Scotland, or he could throw himself off the cliff he was presently stood atop and drown in the Mediterranean Sea below.

Unfortunately, as an apprentice Healer and a rather magically adept wizard, there weren't many illnesses he couldn't cure with a wave of his wand or a well-brewed potion (unless cheese poisoning was a thing, in which case, the French were most certainly trying to kill him and death was imminent), and cliff diving was - well, perhaps a little extreme.

Still, the desire to distract himself by doing something impulsive was as deeply ingrained in him as were his freckles or his untamable brown curls; brashness was a Sallow trait, one his father had possessed in spades and one which, as much as he'd like to believe otherwise, he was very likely to pass onto his children one day - if he lived long enough to father them, that is.

Sebastian's stomach twisted into nervous knots, and he wondered vaguely whether the pain au chocolate he'd eaten for breakfast might just kill him yet. He was grateful that the sun had yet to rise; cloaked in purple twilight, his racing pulse, wobbly knees and shaky fingers were hard to spot - but soon the horizon would turn golden, and the morning sun would blaze across the ocean to illuminate his panicked state in acute clarity.

And when that moment finally arrived, he'd have nowhere left to hide.

'Come on, Sebastian, we're going to miss it!' Aurélie's gentle voice pulled him back from the precipice of both the cliffs' edge and his internal implosion. Her accent was stronger after almost a month in France, but her hand on his elbow was as familiar as it had always been; a small, warm anchor that, under normal circumstances, was the only thing that kept his feet on the ground and his anxious thoughts under control.

But today was not normal. Today was different.

With a deep, steadying breath, Sebastian touched the small box concealed in his pocket, wiped his clammy hands on his trousers, then turned to face the girl whose presence in his life was as brilliant and warm as the sun itself.

'And whose fault will that be if we do?' Though he longed to touch her, he knew that if he drew her against him now, he'd have to explain why something as benevolent as a sunrise was making his heart smash like fucking mad against his ribcage. Except, of course, it wasn't the sunrise that was inducing a panic attack, but what the dawning of it symbolised.

'It'll be your fault, of course.' Aurélie grinned at him over her shoulder as they picked their way along the cliff top, her long red hair dancing in the warm ocean breeze. He stumbled along in her wake, wondering how in the name of Merlin's old knickerbockers he'd ever lived a day in his life before her.

'Mine?'

'Yes, yours!' she laughed. 'You with your "just one more kiss before we get out of bed". It's never just one more kiss with you, and now we're going to miss the sunrise. Again.'

Sebastian's nerves lightened just enough to allow a single, strangled chuckle to escape him. 'You weren't complaining about my kisses an hour ago,' he teased, resisting the urge to pick her up and march them right back to the bed they'd gotten very little sleep in the night before.

From the outside looking in, there was nothing to suggest that Sebastian was anything less than deliriously, perfectly happy. And for the most part, he was; after all, a month-long holiday in France with the love of his life was hardly a burden to bear, but darkness and doubt had a way of dulling even the brightest days of his life.

His anxieties didn't stem from their daily consumption of cheese and wine though, nor the blissful halcyon days spent exploring the south of France, strolling hand in hand through tiny seaside villages, kissing melted ice cream off each other's faces; no, his dire predicament lay in the small velvet box he'd been carrying around in his pocket and how foolish he'd been to believe that bringing it to France was a good idea.

Because love, in all its warm, healing glory, wasn't meant for him - not after all the pain he'd caused, the unforgivable mistakes he'd made; not for someone whose soul was torn and whose hands were stained with blood that would never wash clean. And yet, like the stubborn twit he was, he stumbled after it like a man starved, his hands outstretched, clawing at the air for scraps of happiness he didn't deserve.

Sebastian had always lived in the darkness; why should that change now?

By the time they reached their destination - a little stone bench overlooking the vast ocean - the horizon beyond was just beginning to lighten, and the birds were rising, jubilant and carefree, and had it not been for the adrenaline flooding every cell in his body, all would have been perfectly right with the world.

Unfortunately, nothing was right with the world because Sebastian had really fucked up this time. What a prat he was to presume she would choose him out of literally anybody else on the planet.

She, like fire.

She, like the sun.

She, whose smile was triumphant as she eyed the luminescent horizon with bated breath and bright eyes.

'We made it!' Her excitement was palpable, but Sebastian's mouth was too dry to echo the sentiment; all he could do was hitch a stiff approximation of happiness onto his face and watch on as the moment of truth raced toward him, as unstoppable as the rising sun itself.

The weight of the small innocuous box in his pocket grew heavier.

His palms grew sweatier.

Bloody fucking hell.

Bloody fucking hell.

How utterly absurd to think that he'd once delved headlong into the Dark Arts without so much as a backwards glance, yet couldn't muster the courage now to look his girlfriend in the face.

Don't be such a fucking knobhead, Sallow. It's now or never.

Aurélie tugged on his sleeve, her face a picture of such unrestrained joy that it made his heart clench and expand. How could she ever be his? How could she ever agree to this?

'Here it comes!' she sang, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 'Here comes the sun!'

But Sebastian wasn't looking at the sun.

He steeled himself. Felt into his pocket. Fumbled with the velvet box. Tried not to throw up. But when the sun crested the horizon, clarity blazed along with it, and his entire future lit up in her eyes.

'Aura' - he cleared his throat - 'Aurélie, I...'

The words scraped up his throat like sandpaper. He swallowed once. Swallowed again. Aurélie's gaze turned to him, expectant, patient, full of all the love he wasn't worthy of receiving.

He couldn't bear to look.

'My Aurélie...'

His hands shook so badly he had to fumble around in his pocket for several thousand years to extract the velvet box, but finally, when he handed it over, struck dumb with terror, she took it with a steady grip, tentatively opened the lid and said -

'Oh.'

Oh? Oh? What the fuck was oh?

If Sebastian were able to move, he'd have thrown himself over the cliff right then and there, but instead, he stood frozen to the spot while the enigmatic oh stretched on for all eternity and beyond.

'I know I don't deserve you,' he tried. 'But...' Bloody fucking bloody hell. 'But, I...'

Aurélie gingerly lifted the ring from its satin cushioning. The sunlight caught the flash of blue sapphire, a stone he'd chosen to match her eyes.

And then she smiled, sun-drenched.

'Sebastian!' She laughed aloud as the first rays of aurelian dawn gilded her hair, her face, her eyes; an incandescent vision of beauty so vivid it paled the sun. 'It's been a whole month, I thought you were never going to ask!'

[animeyanderelover]

It's totally okay if you don't want to write for him, but I would practically die for yandere Shirabu (Haikyuu) REALLY liking a classmate that's super sweet but too intimidated by his salty attitude to actually interact with him (and feel free to change this as much as you want if you do write for him!) I love your writing either way and am excited to read more from you! >3<

I think that's the first time anyone has ever asked for something with Shirabu.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, manipulation

Too salty

🐾There you are again, sitting in front of him whilst chatting with your close friends, that damn smile on your face that always manages to speed up his heartbeat a bit. How long has this been going on now? A few solid months would be Shirabu's guess, he can't get much more accurate as the line between a huge crush and a fine obsession has been a fluid transition for him. An obsession with you, the infamous sweetheart in his year and due to that quite liked by almost everyone. That includes him but his feelings are a bit different from everyone else around. He has never considered himself as someone who would start obsessing over a person like in some fanfiction written by a teenager yet here he is, finding himself studying you again from behind, accurately guessing what you'll have in your bento box as he's familiar with what you enjoy eating and your preferences. He could be proud of himself, unfortunately he can't help but feel a bit like a creep because he knows that despite never having interacted with you before.

🐾To his defence, that is largely your fault. Sure, his own pride has held him initially back, it took a while to gradually come to terms with his unhealthy feelings. By now everything is blamed on you though as Shirabu has actually tried to approach you in the past before only to discover that for some reason you don't seem to like him. You have never been downright rude but kept the conversations short before storming to your friends as soon as you caught a glimpse of them, excusing yourself and fleeing the scene. He's not willing to make a fool of himself, he has gotten the message. You're for some reason nervous and slightly anxious around him and for that reason he has stopped trying to talk to you. He won't admit it, but you did hurt his feelings with your behavior. Worst of all is that he seems to be the only one you're intimidated off as you have no problem offering your help or sparing a sweet smile and encouragement to other classmates of yours. That is just infuriating.

🐾The lack of willingness from your side to interact with him only worsens his jealousy of literally everyone else you're willing to talk with. Unconsciously he starts comparing others to himself. He has excellent grades, he's diligent and he's the setter for the volleyball team which is famous even across their prefecture. By all accounts, Shirabu can't help but feel like he deserves a slice more attention from you than some other people you chat with. So it's not uncommon that people catch him with a scowl on his face, glaring at you and whoever is your company at the moment, eyes narrowing angrily as he wonders what's so special about them anyways. He catches Taichi talking with you once and holds a grudge against his teammate afterwards, tongue sharp and tone rude during their training together and it isn't until the coach nearly yells at him that he passes him acceptable tosses, purposely making it harder for the male. Shirabu is aware that he's being irrational but it's hard to keep his boiling jealousy under control and he partially blames you for that.

🐾He has to find out what he's doing wrong or otherwise he fears that he might literally go insane. Luck seems to be on his side though when he overhears during a conversation between you and your friends, a conversation he just happens to eavesdrop on for a bit, that you need to score well on an upcoming test in a particular subject he knows you've always struggled with to make up for the abysmal score you had in the last test. Your teacher wants to help you though, has offered you to find someone to help you with, ideally someone in the same year as you. Shirabu is exceeding in this subject and he knows instantly that this could be his chance. He approaches the teacher in talk soon enough, slyly convinces them to set him up for coaching you. It's quite easy because Shirabu is an obvious choice so soon enough said teacher approaches you, Shirabu following him closely behind. You have a look of slight panic when you realize who they brought but are stuck, Shirabu is fully aware of that. If you reject him right now, you would openly insult the kind teacher and him and you could never do that.

🐾He schedules for you two to meet tomorrow after school so he can start coaching you and the night before that, Shirabu diligently creates notes for you and comes up with a whole plan how and what to teach you. You're awkward and stiff when you meet him, still a tiny bit anxious which does not make the male happy. This is a good chance to cleanse whatever bad image you have of him so he's on his best behavior. He's patient, explains everything in great detail to you and gives you tips or shows you tricks how to solve questions easier. This is a matter of pride for him because if he helps you to get a good score in the exam, you'll definitely have to change your mind about him so he can't fail you here. His sheer dedication to help you doesn't go unnoticed by you nor his polite behavior that soon makes you question your previously bad image of him. Sure, you've seen and heard about his salty behavior but in private he does not seem to be all that rude. At least not to you.

🐾You start to crumble with your cautious behavior around him, something Shirabu notices and he knows that he needs to push you a bit further to hopefully break all mistrust you hold against him. He purposely lets Taichi hand you over something he prepared for you to help you with the stuff, fully aware that Taichi will mention to you that he's been preparing sessions for you even in the locker before and after training, only deepening your guilt for having judged him without ever having properly interacted with him. It's by that point that he dares to ask for your number to communicate easier and so that you can ask him questions even outside of those private sessions and you cave in, a little bit hesitant but also unable to reject because of all the work he pours in for you. At times he purposely lets you solve stuff that is quite advanced and specifically catered to the areas you struggle most with. He can easily cover it with the excuse that he wants you to learn how to solve those problems, in reality it's just as much for his own want as it allows him to keep you longer with him.

🐾He approaches you for the first time outside of those private study sessions the day before the exam and hands you notes specifically made for you so you can prepare yourself for the test, right in front of your friends who afterwards can't help but talk about how detailed he made them and how much time he must have spent on them. All for you. Don't just think he did it out of altruism, Shirabu has been eavesdropping on you and your friends. Their image about him has majorly improved because of what you have told them that by now they almost scold you a bit for your unjustified fear of him and their words get to you as you already feel very guilty. If he can get them on his side, it would make things a lot more easier for him. The next day, during the exam, Shirabu can't help but glance over to your table multiple times, more nervous for you than for himself. There's relief though when he always sees your pen moving and never stopping for too long as you can write down an answer to everything.

🐾It seems quite normal when he approaches you after classes and asks how it went. You appear still surprised when you tell him that you were needlessly worried as you had only little problems because of everything he has taught you, genuinely thank him for his help. It's the first time that you've actually given him such a sincere smile and to his slight embarrassment, and to your friends delight, he starts blushing a bit. When you get your test back, with Shirabu having written the best one out of the class, you're delighted and relieved to see that you have majorly improved and have over 80% right. You're so relieved because this really is the final proof that you've been able to use everything Shirabu has taught you. If you would have failed, you think you wouldn't have been able to look him or the teacher in the eyes anymore. You come running to him excitedly afterwards, show him your exam joyfully and Shirabu hides the smug grin as he receives an ego boost. He knew he would be the right one to help you, luckily he convinced the teacher on that day.

🐾You want to pay him back somehow for his help and simultanously apologize for your bad behavior before because you've realized that you judged him wrongly. The male accepts your invitation and both of you agree to meet up on the weekend. You want to thank him for his help but are unprepared when he actually gifts you something to congratulate you for your good score on your test. Initially you want to reject since he's done enough for you already but can't do so in the end as he insists that he wants you to have it. You're slightly surprised when you realize that he just so happened to gift you something you've wanted to have for a while now but never had the time to buy due to all the studying. You think of it as a very lucky coincidence, Shirabu certainly won't tell you that he has listened on the conversations of you with your friends one too many times and has studied you closely for months and knows you for that more than you know. He feels satisfied though when noting your bashhful reaction because this confirms that he has definitely managed to make you forget about your assumptions about him. That means he can move on to the next step now.

[mothytheghost]

Away From Home

Chapter 2: Let's call it all a Dream

"Are you doing okay?"

Sun looked up at shock. Nodding as he falsely smiled. "Yeah... It's just... So different..."

Moon rolled his eyes. "Well thank god because I have other things to deal with..."

Sun looked at him. He reminded him of his Moon. He couldn't help but feel a sense of not feeling alright with him. But he's trying his best to not grow that fear in him. He never gave this dimension a chance. And he wants to make sure it's a safe new home.

"What are you doing?" Sun questioned. Hoping this doesn't annoy him.

"I'm just trying to build some stuff. Nothing much" Moon looked at the computer as Sun was trying to get up and walk on his own. But he felt a bit hazy. Not use to the new body.

"Oh I forgot to do something too. Just let me look into your head at the moment..." Moon walked to Sun as he felt anxious. Fidgeting with his fingers as he heard a snap and it made him jump.

"What did you do?" Sun felt scared. Not liking how his systems are reacting to this.

"Oh, I added a bit of star power. you're a weapon now."

"You Added What!?" Sun cried. Trying to control himself as Moon laughed.

"Calm down it's only for defense. Don't get so dramatic of it...."

Sun dropped the 'oh' under his breath. But he didn't like what he did to him. Feeling anxious and hoping this kind of power doesn't do anything ridiculous to him.

"Oh yeah. You have a new name now too.. It's stupid but my brother chosed it" Moon walked back to the computer as he laughed thinking about it.

"What is it?." Sun was curious. He's gonna have a new name. It sounds nice but hoping it isn't kinda boring.

Moon tried holding his laugh. "Sunflower. God such a wonderful name..." He said sarcastically. Leaving Sun to smile in awe.

"I'll take it..."

"Okay 'Sunflower'" Moon wheezed. Typing on the computer as Sun was looking at his hands. Smiling as he took the new name Sunflower.

°°°°°°°°°

It was night. He was sleeping on the couch as he was trying to get use to his new body. He couldn't without thinking about Solar. And it scared him.

He thought that going to sleep would help him. So when he wakes up he doesn't have to worry much about it since he wouldn't notice it in the morning anyway. Staring at the ceiling as he rested his eyes for a bit.

Sun drifted to sleep. Hoping he would have some peace after a rough day. It was just him and the darkness. His body felt heavy as he powered off. Only to wake up once again. But he wasn't on the couch anymore. He was in a calm breeze wind. Resting on the cold grass as he heard birds chirping.

It all felt so strange to him. He was dreaming. But it felt so real. Trying to get up as he looked around his surroundings. Feeling a bit scared as he noticed flowers around him. He wasn't sure if was dead or just dreaming at this point. He was more focused on where he is at the moment.

His breathing felt cold. And his arms felt heavy. "Hello?" Sun spoke softly. Noticing a drip of water fell on his hand. Looking at it made him realize he was.... Crying?. He didn't felt any emotions. But his tears kept dripping non stop. Letting out a small sob as it became hard to breathe.

"Sun?"

Looking up as he tries to find where the voice came from. Noticing a red figure.it was blurred because of his tears. Unable to control them. Wiping them away as he had a better look at them. Feeling frightened as it was a familiar person. "S-Solar..... "

Sun crawled back in fear as his heart raced. He looked at his hands again and noticed they're like Solars. He couldn't let him see him like this. But he's not real right? It's all a dream.

Just before Sun cried. Solar kneeled down as his boot crushed the grass beneath him. "Sun...i wanted to see you again.... I wanted to say I'm sorry for what's happening...you don't deserve to go through this...."

Sun felt strange. Unsure if he was going crazy or not. But it was him. Looking away as Solar reaches his hand to his cheek and wiped his tear away. "Why are you here?... Y-Your Dimension."

"I know..."

Sun took a moment to process what he was seeing. He was gone for so long seeing him made his heart wrench. Everything hurted.

Shutting his eyes tightly as he sobbed. He didn't understand these emotions. Sun was never that close to Solar. Only Moon did. It became hard to breathe and his eyes hurted.

Solar carefully hugged him and soothed his back. It all felt so real even as a dream. He didn't understand it all.

"I'm here for you...Don't forget that. Please be careful..."

"I will" sun cried. Shutting his eyes as he sobbed onto his chest.

"SUNFLOWER! "

Sun was woken up my scream as he was shaked back awake. Seeing the Sun animatronic in front of him as he became a nervous wreck. His yellow and grey hands shivered on his red shoulders. Woken up as his entire face was covered in tears. The entire room was dark and all he could see was the other Sun in a panic.

"Are you okay!?. I heard you crying!" Sun tried to speak up. But he was breathing heavily. Tying to calm his nerves.

"I'm fine... I just..." Sunflower spoke as he tried to forget the dream he had about Solar. Feeling as Sun held his hands and checked his fever. Taking a deep breath as he wiped his tears.

"Hey... You can sleep in my room if you want?. I just want to make sure you're going okay."

Sunflower smiled. Nodding and getting up holding Sun's hands. "Yeah... I think sleeping on the floor near you would be nice..."

[chaosheadspace]

In case no one's asked, I'd like to know more about Child of the Depth

Hey! Thank you for asking about it. I didn't think anyone would, bc it's an original story and this is, well, a fandom blog. I just included it because it's an active WIP and I thought the list looked a little sad with just three entries. Child of the depth is a working title for now for lack of one that fits better. Have a look:

(I will not be italicising this one for tumblr bc it's a lot. Apologies.)

The sound of drums rang through the halls of the mountain, deep and echoing. The wind had changed. Idil busied himself with the levers, closing and opening the vents, ensuring that the city inside the mountain could breathe.

The excursion the president had sent out a month ago still wasn't back. Three of the dwarven folk had been chosen to go into the depths, following a path of natural tunnels and caverns, looking for new ore deposits, most importantly wiremetal. It should have taken them three weeks at most.

It was not the dwarven nature to be anxious about such things, or so they behaved, and life milled through the city like normal. Idil watched it from the perch of his workplace, nestled into a stone shelf high above even the tallest buildings.

Up here, the bustle of the streets and forges was quieter; quiet enough to hear the hum and moan of the air piping through the many tunnels drilled into the crown of the mountain. They ran high, some of them as small in diameter as Idil’s little finger, some of them as wide as an orehorn’s torso. They carried air and light and meltwater, engineered and perfected over centuries upon centuries; filled with turbinating spirals and prisms and small grooves to better aid their purpose.

The pipes catching the water gurgled happily as Idil pulled the last lever to open the final tunnel towards the southeast where the rhythm of the drums had told him the wind was coming from. Only then he closed the southern ones. It was vital that the air was never cut off completely. Eight hundred years ago the control shelf had collapsed, leaving open only two minor airways, killing half of the city before the gates to the outside could be pulled apart.

The story of the collapse was carved into the stairs leading up to the shelf; the collapse itself a grand mosaic at the bottom of the steps, the bannister lined with the tight coil of the spiral rune for “Dwarven soul”, repeated three thousand and eighty one times for every death. The balustrade of the control shelf itself featured the group of eleven people who had fought to open the great gates to let in air again. The great gates themselves were painted on the wall where the levers were installed, reminding every dwarf who worked on the shelf that their duty was to the stone lungs that kept their entire people alive.

The world sang under Idli’s hands, wood and wire, stone and metal, sparking, alive, breathing. He completed the shut off and sat down on the floor again, waiting for the next signal. Closing his eyes, he listened to the drums as they cycled through reporting the weather, inside and outside; as they announced break time for the welders and the shift change for the second mine shaft; as they announced today’s yield of wiremetal ore. Then they beat out the first verse of a children’s lullabye, announcing bedtime, and Idil realised that Basaa must be on shift. Her daughters were just old enough to go to bed by themselves, to fall asleep soothed by their mother’s drumming; the heartbeat of the city. Sometimes it was easy to know who was operating the big woolen mallets simply by the messages they choose to send between the important ones. Just like in a three-chambered dwarven heart, the pulse of the drums was ever present.

And then the drums stopped, and Idil’s eyes flew open.

His breath stalled until their sound picked up again, frantic, sharp, hammering out the words that everyone had been waiting to hear for a whole week. *Excursion team back—three dwarves and child entering hall from the west downward tunnel—alive—on foot and carried—fourteen beats before sundown—excursion team back—three dwarves…*

The city exhaled with relief.

Half an hour later, the drums message deviated from schedule again. The elders were called into the main hall, which included Idil as the eldest of the Guards of the shelf. He stood and leaned on the balustrade, waiting for his replacement. The shelf was never to be empty. Despite the calm and stoicism that were most valued character traits, he felt a spark of impatience and restlessness at his core, fingers tapping away at the carved stone.

*There*. He could see someone weaving through the city towards the bottom of the steps, quick, determined, faster than its beat. As they were crossing the mosaic he could see that it was Udain, apprentice in the sixth year.

By the time Udain was halfway up the steps, Idil stood at the top of them, left hand on the rail, right hand at the leather rope attached to his belt. It had a peculiar hook at the end, fashioned after his precise instructions, and he was the only one carrying a tool of this fashion. The others did not dare.

“Please don't,” Udain wheezed as she approached the top. “One of these days, you'll kill yourself.”

Idil shook his head and unhooked the metal hook, uncoiled the short leather strap. “This is an emergency. You heard them.”

Udain reached the top, and as soon as her foot touched the shelf, Idil clamped the hook onto the handrail of the steps, which it was made to fit.

“Don't pretend you don't like it!” She scolded.

Idil jumped over the rail.

The metal welting at the bottom of his left shoe hit the stone beneath the rail, and the speed blew Idol's hair away from his face and the collar of his shirt back. Udain was right, he loved this. *Klack-klack*. The others were too afraid, afraid of the height, afraid of the flimsy leather, afraid of the jumps the hook did frequently. *Klack-klack*.

Only Idil knew what they meant, what they were for, and he counted each one carefully as the metal of his shoes rained sparks down into the dark. *Klack-klack*. At every sixtieth soul mark carved into the rail there were two notches, making the hook rattle and jump.

*Klack-klack.* Twenty-one. Idil braced himself and at the next rattle he jumped, away from the stairs, turned to account for the turn in the stairs, and set his foot down again with a screech. That's another thing the others were afraid of, the turn of the stairs, the agility needed for the jump, the fall if they got it wrong. *Klack-klack*. Thirty-two.

Idil had failed to make the jump often, in the beginning. There was no fall, only a face full of stone rail, which is the reason for his crooked nose and his gold-rimmed front teeth. Cowards, the lot of them. *Klack-klack*. Forty-five.

Idil readied himself, put his second hand onto the strap, pulling the knee of his other leg up. *Klack-klack*. Forty-six.

He put his second foot against the stone and braced himself, his shoes screeching and shaving over the marks left by him and, he had no doubt, others before him. They were what gave him the idea in the first place. *Klack-klack-klack*. Forty-nine.

Idil snapped the hook off the rail and jumped, landing heavily at the edge of the mosaic with a clang, breaking the energy of his descent with a few hasty steps. Pressing his right thumb to the deep indent that once must have been the fiftieth notch at the bottom of the stairs for good luck, he turned towards the city. Countless fingers had worn a small bend into the rail.

With the small gesture taken care of, Idil took the path Udain had come from and ran. He was expected, and he could not wait to hear the news. To see for himself.

[splintergirl13]

ANGST DAY ANGST DAY ANGST DAY

Cough herosteve pining words under the cut

-

Uh trigger warning for self harm, angst, etc. Bad stuff. Beware. Also forgive me I literally wrote this off the top of my head

"Why do you scratch your wrists?"

The softly spoken sentence was not a true question. As the asker felt like they knew the answer already. But wanted to hear the answer out loud.

The rain was the loudest thing besides the silence in the dark room. It hit hard against Steve's wooden roof.

The dead of night. Another summer storm. He had begun to dread them. It seemed like night after night they kept on happening. With no end in sight.

It wasn't the sleep he was loosing that he lamented. No. It was Herobrine. Who wore a dent into his rug as he paced back and forth in front of the window. Flinching at every flash that lit up the room.

Steve never lit any candles. The demon's bright eyes were better than any flame at lighting up the room. Especially at this hour.

Herobrine flinched at the question. As he always did with the miner spoke to him.

It was the only thing Steve had said tonight. When he heard the thunder roaring in the distance and dragged his lethargic body to the living room couch. To wait for the horrible ritual to begin.

Herobrine tensed and then let out a breath. Continually scratching at his arms. He wet his lips as sparks flew from his finger tips.

"Chains." Were his final response. He turned his head towards the window. A long scratch at his arms. Steve caught the faint glow of blood mixed with his healing powers. "My brother... held me down with chains when we fought. He-"

He broke off to pace again. His voice was taught. Harsh. Steve leaned forward, not expecting this much of a response.

"H-he would use the chains to hold me down." Herobrine shook his head. "To signify that the fight was over. I was powerless. It usually was when he grew bored of the fight. Because everything I did-"

The words grew more desperate. Louder and scared. He haunched over. Hands on his head. Steve was about to tell him to stop when he spoke again.

"I could never beat him. And we both knew that. I tried my best but it was never enough! Nothing I ever did was ever enough for HIM! I just wanted to do well! I just, I just-"

He sighed a full body tremble and lowered his hands to look at his wrists.

"I just wanted to do something right by him. The chains signified to me that I had not performed well enough. And it was time to send me back to the nether so I could try again. Bashing in my head with that fucking hammer. Waking up alone. A failure."

Steve was frozen. Needing to hear all of this. Rationalizing it as healthy. Maybe to get it off his chest. But he was mostly just curious.

"I scratch my wrists." Herobrine continued. "Because they hurt. They itch with power. Power that I can't control. They itch when I feel. When I feel anxious or a failure or- I don't fucking know." He spat. "They just hurt. And I can feel his chains. I can feel his magic."

He pinched his temple. "And sometimes I can still feel the hammer."

A loud clap of thunder had them both jumping. It rolled across the plains like a train. Slowly disappearing into the world.

Herobrine shook. Holding himself in his arms. Licking his lips. Anxious and scared and hurt.

An idea popped into Steve's mind. He quickly got up from the couch, gently apologizing when Herobrine jumped back. And went to the kitchen. He grabbed a towel and turned his water tap on as hot as it would go. He then places the towel under it when the temperature was adequate.

He went over to Herobrine and held out the towel. The demon didn't move as Steve drapped it over his wrist.

"Warm towel." Steve spoke gently. "Makes my shoulder feel better after a hard day mining. Doc recommended it for my old wound. Maybe...it can help you?"

Herobrine stared at the towel. Allowing a small smile. "This is hardly warm."

"Listen, it's warm for me!" Steve laughed. Herobrine did as well.

"Thank you." The demon breathed. Placing a hand on the towel. "You... it does help."

[darkeraurora]

Admissions - Chapter 9

Very mild NSFW this time.

Chapter 9 of ??

Status: ON GOING

The ever-present whir of the heaters kept the silent Brit company. Simon sat on a weight bench in the gym, alone with nothing but his thoughts in the twilight’s quiet stillness. Sunrise wasn’t for another few hours and only a small handful of people around base would be awake at this hour. Perimeter wall guards mostly.

He’d woken up quite early, even by military standards, and slipped out of bed once he detangled himself from the warm clutches of his little one, leaving Sereza to continue sleeping. While he’d slept fine last night, his mind wouldn’t fucking shut up about what might potentially happen later today.

Last night he’d told Sereza he’d found his bandana.

Consequently, his anxieties and insecurities were all in overdrive. Even if she had agreed – or rather, offered – to allow him to blindfold her so he felt more at ease, Simon still felt off. Considering what he would be doing to her – or might end up doing, since he wasn’t particularly confident that he’d be able to actually go through with it – it would terrify him if the roles were reversed and he was the one unable to see. What if he scared her? What if she was secretly feeling apprehensive about being blindfolded but was forcing herself to go through with it because of him? God that would kill him.

And also…

Even if she wasn’t able to see him, she would still be able to feel his skin.

What if it repulsed her? His physique was impressive, he knew. Fucking ought to be after the innumerable hours he spent in the gym burning through nightmare-fueled adrenaline rushes. But his body was covered in evidence of things best left forgotten. And he fucking hated it. Every fucking time he saw a glimpse of his skin or his reflection the urge to carve those reminders out himself was overpowering.

The worst ones were under his shirt. So far Sereza hadn’t seen or touched them, but she would when Simon made love to her; or feel them if she were blindfolded. How would she react?

But on the flip side… if Ghost didn’t take her…

What if she grew tired of waiting for him to be ready? He was pushing himself already as it was, and though he’d done more with her than he had with anyone else in what felt like an eternity... what if it wasn’t enough? She had been nothing but patient, understanding, and helpful. Always ensuring he felt safe and in control, but what if she decided he was too much trouble? Simon could certainly see that being a possibility. He was well aware he wasn’t an easy partner to have, not by any means. Or what if she grew tired of waiting on him and she moved on with someone else? Someone less complicated? All because he took too long to fuck her?

Ghost immediately felt horrible for thinking of his girlfriend that way. Complete shit. The one good thing that had happened in his rotten fucking life and this is what he was thinking about her? Bloody hell he was an arse.

Perhaps he should just force himself. Maybe once it was over his mind would decide it wasn’t so bad. An involuntary shiver made him wince. Simon was not at all sure he could do that. Plus, if he didn’t already feel like shit for thinking of Sereza the way he had, he definitely would if her first time ended up being a disaster or something he rushed through. Damn him and his issues.

Oh shit.

That’s right… it would be her first time with a man. Ghost would hurt her when…

Fucking shit; another thing for his mind to obsess over.

Trying to redirect his thoughts – force that mental-emotional pendulum to swing the opposite way for a fucking change – he thought back over the past several months. It had been maybe four months now since he first met Sereza and Simon ate better, was learning to trust touch again, slept peacefully almost all of the time, and felt less anxious… well, generally.

Looking back, Ghost was truly amazed at just how much she had already helped heal him.

No one, aside from his mother, had ever meant as much to him as she did. The rest of the 141 was important to him also, of course, but that was different. They were his family but Sereza… Simon simply couldn’t conceive of a future that didn’t include her in it.

But, his thoughts circling back around, would he lose his chance at that future once she saw all of him?

Ghost paused, blinked then sighed irritably upon realizing he’d long since lost count of his reps. Dammit, he’d have to start over. Veiny forearms flexed as he readjusted his grip on the kettlebell and began again. What a troublesome little one he had. Not even in the room and still she was distracting him. Such a naughty girl, Love. What am I going to do with you?

“Taken to haunting the gym mi amor?”

Ah, speaking of naughty… His beauty was out of bed. Her sleepy voice echoed across the cavernous space, coming from the doors behind him. He could tell by the sound she hadn’t been awake very long. The sleepiness made her voice sound so unbearably precious he couldn’t help smiling under the mask, despite her being the current source of much of his consternation. His free hand rolled the balaclava up to the bridge of his nose as he angled his head backward in her direction in a silent request for a kiss. “Bloody hell your lips are sweet, Love,” he complimented, picking up her hand from his shoulder to kiss her wrist. He looked up into deep hazel eyes, waves of honey tumbled around their faces and obscured the light. An image he tucked away to cherish when they had to be apart. Even from upside-down like this, she was the cutest thing.

Sereza grinned at his words. “Want another taste?” she offered, cocking her head to the side and sliding her palms over Simon’s pecs down toward his sternum. An affirmative groan rumbled through her ghost’s chest. His little one leaned down again and offered her lips.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked once they finally parted, coming around to sit near the opposite end of the bench from him so he’d have space to continue his set.

The half-masked Lieutenant poked her side, a place he’d recently found out was ticklish. “Quit that worrying, Gorgeous,” he reassured her, “I slept fine, just woke up is all.”

She was not at all convinced her ghost was telling her the full story, but let it go for now. Ghost seemed to be handling whatever bothered him well enough so she’d leave him to it, not wanting to nag or hassle him. There would be time to check in with him later if need be. “Mind if I sit and watch you?”

“Don’t mind at all, Sweetheart.”

The windows lightened from pitch black to sapphire to pale blue as dawn came to the Arctic sky. Simon and Sereza chatted about this and that. Simple small talk and making each other laugh with dumb jokes, just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Hey Si, a fish swims into a wall – what does he say?”

“Hm?” he paused, dangling from the grips he was training on.

“Dam.”

The Brit laughed hard at that one. “Not bad,” he chuckled. He’d have to remember it for the next mission with Soap. “Not bad at all, Love.”

XXXXX

Ghost’s shot cracked the stillness of the tundra. Perfect bullseye.

He fired his final shot, splitting the frozen silence and sending birds fluttering. Once more hitting the target dead-center with surgical precision. His little one sat just behind him and kept watch on their surroundings. It was time for Simon to qualify again, which meant a visit to the range outside the protective walls of the base. Which meant polar bears, so Sereza was on guard duty. That left Ghost free to focus on what he needed to.

While he trusted her – she had been out here for years whereas it hadn’t even been six months yet for the lieutenant – he still preferred to finish quickly and take over the role of Polar Bear Guard himself. He knew it might sound chauvinistic and insufferably alpha male-ish of him, but dammit he couldn’t help it. The urge to protect the woman he loved at any and all costs was ferocious.

Naturally Ghost qualified without issue. Not that he had any doubts – as arrogant as that might sound, but his little love being there this time did provide a hint of nervous jitters.

The range cleared not long after, leaving only the petite female and her towering ghost alone with the snow. Simon decided to take the opportunity to see how well his girlfriend could shoot. He had only his M4 with him, which should be fine, and he doubted with her small form she could use a shotgun or some such without risking injury to her shoulder. Sereza was tiny, but she wasn’t some fragile female. However, as the surgeon on base, neither she nor anyone else could risk her being injured.

But to his bewilderment, as soon as the Brit suggested a bit of shooting practice, she began to argue with him.

“I really don’t need to Si,” she refused, waving as stood and made ready to head back to the base. Why did it sound like she was trying to hurry off? “Let’s get back, I’m freezing anyway.”

Ghost knew that wasn’t true. The way she dressed and layered for the cold was impeccable; there was no way she was freezing. Chilly possibly, but not freezing. “You telling me stories, Little one? I think you forgot that I watched you do your layers this morning,” the Brit chuckled from behind his mask, “Come on now. Two shots left in this mag and they’re both yours.”

Sereza shuffled on her feet. “Nooo I’m pretty positive they’re yours actually.”

“Saved ‘em for you because you’re just so damned cute.” Simon took hold of her wrist.

“I-I don’t want to…” she continued protesting, trying to back away further, but the iron grip around her wrist gently pulled her back toward the firing line.

“One shot then,” he attempted to compromise. “Show me what you got, Love.” Ghost held the rifle out for her to take.

“NO!” Sereza shouted, pushing roughly away from him.

Ghost’s strength could, of course, have held her in place but he immediately let go of her wrist at her vehement refusal. She continued taking tiny steps backward from him, hands shaking, eyes wide, arms wrapped protectively around herself. Her behavior stunned him. “Sereza…?” he whispered in concern. She had always been the calm one but right now she looked positively panic-stricken.

Frosty clouds of her breath puffed out rapidly, fearful eyes fixed upon the snow, seeing someplace far from where they both stood as she fought back tears. “I-I don’t, I don’t…” she whimpered incoherently, shaking from head to toe.

Simon hurriedly set the rifle down behind him, out of her line of sight. He held his hands out to her, showing the weapon was gone. “It’s alright Love, it’s gone, and you don’t have to shoot.”

Ghost slowly stepped closer to his love until she blinked, as if only just realizing he was in front of her, then lunged into his chest and clung to him. Strong arms picked her up, smoothing down honeyed curls while he shushed her, sitting them both down on a nearby log and guiding her tiny form into his lap.

As much as he hated to see her cry, seeing her this scared was worse.

What the hell had set her off? Was it the gun? Sure a lot of people were afraid of guns, but it didn’t seem that the cause of her behavior was as simple as that. Everything had appeared perfectly fine and she was acting normally up until the moment he tried to get her to shoot. There was something else she was afraid of. Not the weapon itself.

Ghost slipped her beanie off and kissed her forehead. Once her breathing calmed, he pulled back to see her face.

Instead of the fear from earlier, Sereza now looked self-conscious. Embarrassed. Shoulders slumped, she turned away from him and hid her face in the soft fleece of his jacket. “I-I’m sorry,” his little one dolefully apologized while refusing to meet Simon’s eyes.

His gloved thumb wiped icy tear streaks from her pink cheeks. “Nothing to be sorry for, Love. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Uh… I-n-…”

Simon waited as she uncharacteristically fumbled with her words, never taking his hands from her. It was odd seeing her like this, and it spoke to how scared she’d been since normally Sereza was quite articulate, but whatever had spooked his little one had evidently rattled her enough that she wasn’t able to get her thoughts in order.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, adjusting her so he could see her face better. “It’s alright, I’ve got you. Look at me, Sereza.” Uncertain hazel eyes jumped to his at the command and Ghost ran his hands over her arms consolingly. “That’s my girl. Can you listen to me? You are here, with me, and I will not let anything harm you. You know that, right?” He smiled at her small nod. “Good. Please Love, try to tell me what happened. Was it the gun?”

She shook her head.

Ghost inwardly puzzled over her nonverbal response. Looked like he’d have to fish for answers.

“Me holding the gun?”

“No.” A single small word but a step in the right direction. Ghost found the stronger reaction encouraging; maybe they were getting somewhere.

“Is a rifle too much for you?”

“I-I…” Her voice came out in a pitifully small quiver that tore at his heart.

“You can tell me Little one, it’s okay.”

“I… can’t shoot.”

Well yeah - Ghost gathered that much by the way she reacted but it didn’t answer his question. It was clear to him that something had happened to his love just a moment ago, but what? And why? He could almost swear it looked like a flashback, but she never…

That was when it hit him.

It was a flashback. Something had happened that left her with her own scars. Not that he’d believed her life had been all sunshine and rainbows up until now. The lieutenant knew perfectly well very few had such privilege. But he now understood the reason why Sereza could handle him and his laundry list of issues so well. Because she had survived her own personal hell.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she continued, “When I try-” She had to pause when her voice cracked. Ghost wrapped her in his arms as if he was shielding his love from whatever distressed her. “My father… when I was very little… he’d shoot at me. Sometimes he’d sneak up behind me or he’d make me stand still and shoot the ground around me. Just centimeters from hitting me. One time he did graze me,” Sereza paused as she sniffled, “I don’t think he’d intended to; he was just very drunk. He’d laugh as he did it. It was fun for him.”

The lieutenant was beyond enraged. “Where?” his deep baritone rumbled. Sereza gestured at her left shin, about halfway between her knee and ankle. “Your mother didn’t stop him?”

“…my mother was worse,” she faintly admitted. Quietly as though something bad would happen if she spoke any louder.

Sereza's body beginning to tremble again told Simon just how much worse. 

He wanted, with everything in him, to know what had been done to his little one so he could arrange a bit of… retribution. But that would have to wait. Now was not the time. Plus he supposed his girlfriend might not want that, and what she wanted was ultimately what mattered most to him.

Still though… it’d make him feel a bit better.

But his vengeance-plotting would have to wait. Right now his little one needed him. Ghost pressed her close, cradling her head to his chest. “I’m so sorry, Sereza. I should have listened the first time you said you didn’t want to. I’m sorry I didn’t. I didn’t recognize what was happening until I pushed too far, and I’m sorry for that as well. I just hadn’t seen that happen when you’ve been at the ranges with us before.”

Small hands squeezed his arm wrapped around the front of her, trying to convey her appreciation as well as forgiveness. “Not your fault, and you can’t notice things you haven’t seen,” she reassured, wringing her gloved hands in her lap. "I should have told you sooner."

Simon lifted the petite body, moving her until she straddled his lap so he could see her properly. “Why do you seem embarrassed about it?” A finger hooked under her chin. “It’s just one skill out of many. You have a lot of other valuable skills.”

She chuckled half-heartedly. “Someone in the military that can’t shoot?” she replied emotionlessly.

“I see where you’re coming from, but you aren’t actually in the military though Love,” Ghost tried to reason, “You’re contracted, and for very different work. It’s quite normal to be afraid of guns. That’s a healthy fear. I think… that you being the surgeon here, putting us back together again after a mission, is a far more important skill.”

Sereza bit her lip and looked away from her ghost again. “A lot of the others don't make that distinction and wouldn’t approve of me being here if they found out I can’t shoot. Not that I care about what they think – I don’t. They don’t know the reason why and don’t need to. But the whole thing frustrates me to no end.”

It angered the Brit to learn that others found fault in his girlfriend. Whether they knew the reason behind her lack of firearms skills or not was irrelevant. Sereza was a person – a human being with feelings and inherent value – whose job was to take care of them after injuries. How that made her somehow less in their opinion Ghost would never understand. And didn’t care to try to understand either.

XXXXX

The pair walked side by side back toward the gates, trudging slowly through the snow, while Sereza told Ghost more about her mental stumbling block. “It doesn’t make any sense,” his little love ranted, airing her frustration. “I’m around guns - big guys with guns at that," she gestured at her massive ghost beside her, "all the freaking time. I’ve gone to the ranges with the guys and watched them shoot… so, so many times. Never a problem. I hold them, I carry them, I’ve helped clean the damn things – also not a problem. It starts right as I aim.”

The skull hummed as he pondered over her words. That was peculiar. It would make sense if the sound of gunshots triggered her, but it was only once she took aim. Was she even able to get off a shot? Probably not, he decided. But she was perfectly capable and comfortable with every other aspect except for firing the weapon herself.

Ghost knew better than most how bizarre the brain could behave when triggered, but what many people didn’t seem to understand was that triggers were never random – not really. Whatever it was, it made sense somehow in the mind of that person. Maybe, for Sereza, when she was aiming and ready to fire, perhaps her mind put her in her father’s place and she was the one shooting at the terrified child.

His heart ached for her.

"Si… will you teach me?”

“To shoot?” His little one looked up at him with hesitant eyes.

He was willing, of course, but he also didn’t want Sereza to feel that level of fear again. Back to that manly-man urge to protect his woman… thing. Besides, there were other ways he could teach her to defend herself that didn’t involve firearms. “You were so afraid Love-”

“That’s exactly why I’m asking,” Sereza interrupted. “I spent years learning to come to terms with all the shit that happened when I was growing up, and this is the last thing. I want to be able to move past this too, but I… I don’t think I can do this one on my own.”

The towering skull thought it over as he held his love’s hand while she struggled through some particularly deep snow.  “You're sure about this? I mean, I will, of course – and your brother could also help you,” he questioned.

“He… doesn’t know,” she confessed, finally breaking free with a huff. “My brother’s mom actually cared about being a parent and she escaped with him one night while our dad was passed out. A few years later our dad moved on and started a new relationship. That's when I came along. My brother carries a lot of guilt because I didn’t have a safe or happy childhood while he was the one who did – which I’m very glad of, by the way. That makes me happy. But he blames himself for not knowing about me or finding me sooner.” The skull silently listened, holding her hand warmly within his. “I tell him all the time that it wasn’t his fault, but like any big brother, he doesn’t listen.” Simon chuckled along with her, being an older brother himself.

Sereza hooked her arm through his elbow. “Would you? Please?”

He stopped walking and pulled his mask up. The main road back to base was just ahead so they couldn’t be seen where they currently stood. Wrapping an arm around her waist, Simon lifted her up and kissed her as deeply as he possibly could. “Didn’t need to ask, Love. I’d have helped you anyway.”

Simon sat his little one back on her feet, steadying her by the arm when she swayed. Knowing his kiss had left his love weak in the knees he gave him a satisfied grin.

XXXXX

The lieutenant had a short late afternoon meeting with Price.

And couldn’t concentrate for shit.

He put on a convincing performance though and it didn’t seem Price was aware that his lieutenant wasn’t as laser-focused as he would normally be. Simon was much the same during dinner too. One leg bounced incessantly beneath the table, and he kept forcing his shoulders back down from under his ears.

His distraction didn’t go unnoticed that time however and both Soap and Gaz found it immensely entertaining to tease him about it. They had convinced themselves that Sereza had sent him a text – of a spicy nature that included, perhaps, a spicy picture – thus concluding that the reason their lieutenant wasn’t his normal gruff self was all the blood leaving his brain. Occupied elsewhere, about three feet lower.

The idea had them snickering and cackling like poorly behaved school children. The sergeants both stubbornly kept with their concocted story despite Ghost’s insistence that their story was hopelessly wrong. “Maybe we should lay off, eh Gaz? LT’s got a busy night ahead of him, aye? Don’t wanna tire the ol’ boy out before he can satisfy his lady.” Soap was enjoying himself far too much in Simon's opinion. 

He wearily shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his masked nose, grumbling under his breath at Soap’s teasing. Fucking hell, you two. Honestly. Was this how parents with small children felt? Because if so Ghost could understand why they looked tired so much of the time.

It had been a long fucking day and it was nearing the end.

Which was what had him feeling antsy. Last night Ghost had asked Sereza if she would be busy tonight… and told her he’d found his bandana. Now it was getting close to time to use said bandana.

So, yeah…

Antsy was a fucking colossal understatement.

XXXXX

Back in his quarters after dinner, Simon anxiously paced around the small space. An internal debate raged in his head about whether or not he was ready for this. Thus far the negative side was winning out, as per usual.

Bloody hell, I can’t do this! I CANNOT fucking do this!!

Yes you can. With her, you know you can. You need to.

Back and forth, back and forth. Mentally and literally. With all the walking and his thundering heartbeat, the lieutenant felt like he’d just come off the longest ruck march of his life.

Ghost was so jittery when Sereza walked in a bit later that she half-expected to see him start climbing the walls.

“Si?” Her Brit turned to look down at her, her touch relaxing him somewhat as she threaded her fingers through his. “You look like you’re about to crawl right out of your skin mi amor.”

…my skin…

“What has my love so stressed? Wouldn’t have anything to do with you not being able to sleep last night, would it?” she asked rhetorically.

The Brit sighed as he realized she’d seen right through his fib in the gym this morning and found a sudden, singular interest in their entwined hands. Admiring just how much his love was dwarfed by the size of him. Finally he answered her with only an affirming grunt, nerves having made him slightly tongue-tied.

Sereza rubbed her thumbs over the back of his hands as she squeezed them. “Can you tell me now what had you so anxious last night mi amor?”

Her love audibly swallowed. Did she have to be so damn observant all the damn time? She was giving him the opportunity to open up, and he appreciated all of her efforts, but fucking hell that was hard when it came to… this.

Feelings and whatnot.

She kissed along the printed knuckles on his skeleton gloves. “You know that it’s okay to tell me, if you choose to, yeah? It stays between us, and I will still love you and be with you regardless of what it is,” she encouraged.

Well she had certainly proven that to be true. All the emotional baggage he’d heaped on those slender shoulders, yet she was still here, as unshakable as any mountain, willing to put up with him for some unfathomable reason.

Ghost felt like an arse – again – for making her worry like this.

Fucking hell.

It was time to come clean with her.

Scooping up his little one bridal style, Simon climbed into bed and snuggled into her neck. Giving her a few ticklish kisses. The chaotic storm of thoughts in his mind calmed while he breathed the scent of her. Sereza’s nails traced across his neck and upper back while she left small kisses over his hair.

“… I’m scared Love,” her ghost whispered. “Scared I’ll remember… shit I don’t want to. I’m worried... about what you’ll see. But I'm much more scared-," He paused as his voice cracked. Ghost pressed against her tighter, seeking reassurance. “I'm fucking terrified... that- that I’ll hurt you. And it’s going to hurt you anyway. I want you so goddamn much but... I can’t… I can’t fucking stand knowing that I’ll cause you pain.”

Always such a worrier, mi amor. His worrying over her wellbeing she could address quickly enough, but the lingering trauma from his assault would take time. Sereza hugged around his dirty blond head. “Simon, Love – I swear, you have the sweetest heart,” she affectionately whispered before kissing his forehead. “Can I tell you a couple of things, my love?”

Her ghost grunted a reply, flustered at being called sweet like that.

“I absolutely adore your touch. It feels indescribably good to me, did you know that? Whether we’re just relaxing or… doing something else. Even before we were together, you’d touch me in subtle ways or pat the top of my head while you told me how short I am,” they both chuckled at the memory and cuddled each other tighter. “Everyone else who did that I wanted to punch in the face-”

“You couldn’t reach their face Love,” he interjected mischievously.

“Oh shut up,” Sereza huffed, making Ghost chuckle. “…I loved when it was you though, always made my day and left me wanting more. I was happy simply being with you. And I still am.”

Simon was touched. All tingly and warm inside knowing that he made his little one happy, both now and back then without actually trying.

“Please don’t torment yourself mi amor. Talk to me when something’s bothering you, okay? You aren’t alone anymore Si, and you don’t have to deal with everything on your own either. We’re here to help each other, yeah? Just like earlier today.” Sereza cupped his face and guided it up to hers, kissing the scar cutting through his eyebrow. “I love you Si. No matter what your mind tells you, please don’t think you have to force yourself into doing anything physical for me to love you or stay with you. If any memories come up I'll be right there with you and we'll get through it together. But just so everything is clear going forward, I will never be put off by your touch. It’s alright for you to touch me when you want to.” Another tender kiss to a scar along his temple.

Ghost closed his eyes as he basked in the gentle care Sereza was giving him. The feeling of her fingers combing over the shorter hair on the side of his head made him feel slightly drowsy.

“Always,” another kiss, by his ear…

“Anytime,” under his eye...

“And I will love it.” His love ended with a lengthy kiss to a deep scar across his cheek. “You won’t scare me Si, and I know you would never, ever intentionally hurt me. When you feel like it, you have standing permission, does that help?”

Yeah.

Yeah it did actually.

Rules, regulations, and permissions spoke to his military side; something that gave the soldier in him parameters to operate within.  That familiarity brought with it comfort and security. Simon’s spirit felt so much lighter now and he was kicking himself for not talking to Sereza sooner.

Right then, Ghost’s mental lightbulb clicked on.

He understood now that when he was happiest… when he felt the strongest and safest… was when he was like this with Sereza. Facing what troubled him with the support of his other half. Not when he internalized or withdrew into isolation to fight his inner wars and mental demons alone in some twisted protective display – whether that was protecting others or himself.

The haunting voice of his father, with his vicious threats and cruel insults, quieted. For the first time, Simon could admit to needing the presence and love of another person and felt no weakness or shame in doing so.

The woman holding him in her arms was the source of his peace.

He didn’t just need her – he also needed her.

Mind and soul, he needed her.

Simon made up his mind.

No more overthinking and obsessing. Tonight, he would take her.

[maireyart]

I love your writing! You do so well writing Obito’s headspace! Hmmm…okay. If Obito is going through all this emotional turmoil, then what is going through Kakashi’s head? Is he feeling anything? Or is he forcing himself to stay apart from it?

Re: Obito in prison & Obito in denial

It's often hard for me to imagine Kakashi's headspace and especially his possible (romantic?) feelings and fears, so I had to ask for @cool-thymus 's opinion since we've been discussing this AU for a while xD

This AU has grown out of Anon asks & my doodles and jokes, so it's very random, probably illogical and not thought through really. If we imagine that the plot goes like this:

Obito somehow lives and is at first under house arrest (under Kakashi's direct control ofc xD) since his fate is not decided yet. Some court sessions might be going on. Konoha ppl and others start gossiping about Hokage's "kept man", “boy toy”, etc., and Obito dislikes that. Finally the court decides that he can either contrinue being under house arrest or go to prison, and Obito wishes for some alone time in prison, to brood and enjoy his denial in peace xD And ponder on some way he can be actually useful again. Being a lifer in prison or sitting in four walls like a home pet are really useless options. It's not like he was brought back to life to waste his time like that. So he's thinking if there's anything else he can offer to the world at his state. Now, Kakashi, and I shamelessly quote Ana here xD

If Kakashi already had Obito living with him, and then the drama happened, i think these ideas would plague Kakashi's mind: a) Obito is mad because my recklessness caused him more trouble b) he chose prison over my home.. omg am i so terrible? i must be... c) i don't know what to do now because it seems like every choice i make about him makes things worse d) HURT ( what do you mean he's not there when i come home???) e) What if HE gets hurt in prison?! I no longer can check up on him whenever i feel anxious or worried. SHIT!

At first he'd feel super insecure and hurt and upset. But since he'd already got a taste of living with Obito he'd want him back. And all the worrying would take its toll anyway. So he'd initiate the conversation of him coming back home. At first these kinda talks would be brief and one-sided, but he'd pinpoint smth that Obito's not telling him.

End quote xD Obito finally agrees to return if Kakashi finds something for him to do, something where Obito can apply at least some of his skills that don't rely on the chakra since his chakra is sealed. If Obito can serve some good cause again, help Kakashi or Naruto, or something, he would go back, and he hopes he'll just focus on it instead of certain feelings he can't accept in himself.

[ourghoststories]

Carrier Chaos [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

I was losing my mind, I couldn't cope with the loud noises of the crew drill outside and around the ship going on.

I was on a carrier ship and it made me feel anxious, I thought I started hearing the voices of everyone in my past who had kept me control under HYDRA.

The avengers carrier was what I was on and it was in the ocean, I was with Bucky on the Ship and I needed to find him before I had a panic attack.

Sweat beaded my forehead as it intensified, he was on the same floor as me, I just had to make it down to his room.

Finally I made it down the ship to his room, but he hadn't answered, dang it, he would've been in the training room, working on his form for fighting, the drill was probably getting to him too.

I walked to the lift and took it up two floors, with the sirens still blaring so I felt woozy, I took a minute, before I got off the lift, but by that time it started to head up to the cafeteria.

Lucky it did because Bucky walked in and saw me "hey y/n what are you- oh shit doll you aren't doing too well and look like you're struggling with the drill" he said with a concerned tone.

"Hey, look at me, you're doing fine, you just need to look at me and breathe" he said softly, pulling me into a hug.

"I- i- Bucky, I'm having a panic attack" I breathed rapidly, feeling the panic take over.

I blanked out.

--

"It's gonna be okay, it usually happens to me but I've learnt to get used to it. I know what you're going through Doll, just trust me and try to breathe. In... And out... See like this" he explained, motioning to his chest when he was breathing.

I tried breathing in and out but the panic was still overtaking me, my eyes filled with tears and I hugged him but pulled back "I'm sorry Buck" I cried.

"Hey, calm down... I know it's hard but you can do this. If I can, you can. I promise. Cross my fingers and pinky swear" he smiled softly.

My breath hitched in my throat, the alarm subsided and I felt like I could calm down, it had me exhausted as I used up so much energy having the panic attack, Bucky knew how to help me.

"Let's go to your room, how are you feeling?" He ushered before taking me to my room.

"Don't worry, we'll be docking soon and we can get off for some quiet time, before they send us on our upcoming mission. I think you should take it easy for the next day, keep a low profile" he smiled, patting me on the back.

I planted a kiss on his cheek, he looked a bit shocked but overall grateful "thanks Bucky, I really appreciate your help. You know how hard it's been lately... I've been struggling to sleep, been hearing voices, having flashbacks. It's been awful. But you've been helping me through" I smiled.

"Hey it's gonna be okay, I'm going through the same stuff, I can barely get through a night without having a night terror, I wake up sweating and struggle. You've seen me up at ridiculous hours of the night, I can't stop shaking." He gulped, looking at the group and shaking his head solemnly.

"Hey Bucky, stop being so hard on yourself" I reassured, I cupped his chin with my hands, before slowly and deeply kissing him, trying to make him feel better like he made me feel.

"I didn't know that's what you were going to do, please do it again. I love the feeling of your lips on mine y/n" he smiled, I hadn't seen him smile like that before.

"Wow, I didn't actually think you liked me back like that" I said, unknowingly.

"You bet I do, I have for a while y/n, I just didn't expect you to feel the same about an old guy like me" he said in a more serious tone.

"Old guy, please Bucky- I like you for you" I quipped back.

He cocked his eyebrow up, as if to say he didn't believe me "do I have to prove it to you super soldier?" I laughed, reminiscing about old times.

"Hmm I'll get back to you on that one" he laughed, pulling me into another hug and returning a kiss on the cheek.

A/N----

sorry this is a repost, just fit the formatting better

[eightlightstar]

The First Real Chance

pairing: seungcheol x jeonghan genre: angst with a happy ending, drabble warning(s): mentions of anxiety, insecure!seungcheol, yelling. word count: 2.5k

A/N: Below is an attempt to write an angsty and fluffy fic with a happy ending based on the following prompt by @whygodohgodwhy: “Why did you save me? Why did you give me a second chance?” “Because… honestly? I don’t think you ever had a real chance at all.”

3 Years Ago:

"Are you okay?", Jeonghan asks while bending his head down as far the as the table in front of him allowed, to try and get a better look at his date's face.

"Huh? Oh uhm...yeah! I'm totally fine. I was just thinking about how well this date is going", Seungcheol answered with a small smile even as a wave of anxiety hit him.

"Is it though? I mean, we haven't talked much except when you asked me what I wanted to eat", Jeonghan shrugged nonchalantly while picking at his noodles.

"No!"

Jeonghan's head shoots up to stare at him.

"I mean, yes!! I- I guess I'm just nervous. Because...you're...so pretty", he whispers the last two words to himself.

"I'm what?", asks Jeonghan curiously while leaning over the table, noodles long forgotten.

'I should be able to do this, this is the bare minimum. I do not want to disappoint a pretty and kind boy like him', Seungcheol thinks to himself.

He takes a deep breath and musters up all the courage he has when he says, "You're...pretty", and smiles to himself shyly.

Jeonghan is thoroughly endeared and replies, "Why, thank you! You're not so bad yourself!", and chuckles when he sees Seungcheol turn a deep red.

When they get up after paying and walk out of the restaurant, Jeonghan slides his hand into Seungcheol's, which makes Seungcheol turn more redder than ever and makes Jeonghan feel more giddier than ever he felt on this date.

---Time Skip---

Cheol : Han! Where are you? Hannie : Heyy! Just left the salon. You're already at the Han River? Cheol : Yes! Logged out of work a little early! A rookie designer took some of the work load. Hannie : Oh that's cool. See you in 15 then! Cheol : See you!

It had been 15 minutes but there was still no sign of Jeonghan. Seungcheol started thinking about how much he's had to go through to get this far with Jeonghan because every date before this 5th one had been him silently battling his anxiety and Jeonghan being unaware but always shining bright in Seungcheol's eyes. While he was lost in thought, he suddenly realized that it had been more than 25 minutes and Jeonghan still hadn't arrived. He immediately called Jeonghan.

"Jeonghan? Are you okay? Where are you? Are you on your way?", asked Seungcheol while panic kept rising in him.

"Hey! Got called by the manager as I was leaving. He wants me to come in this Saturday for one of our very rich regulars. I'm almost there. Reaching in 5.", Jeonghan answered without minding Seungcheol's tirade of questions as he was driving.

"Oh okay. Uh...can you send me your location? I can come to you while you park your car...?" Seungcheol asked unsurely.

"Huh? But I'm really close by...?" reasoned Jeonghan.

"It's okay! The parking lot is a huge place haha, and it will be difficult for you to find me..." trailed off Seungcheol.

This was the first time Jeonghan noticed something.

"Uh...okay then. I'll send the location. Bye!", Jeonghan said and hung up.

'He hasn't always been like this though? Why is he so anxious about a little delay? Did I do something that made him think I wasn't reliable?'

Jeonghan's thoughts were a mess as he sent his location and tried to find a spot to park.

The moment they spot each other, all anxiety and worry is immediately replaced by a feeling of joy for Seungcheol. Even Jeonghan's mess of thoughts couldn't resist his shy smile. They have a nice time walking along the riverside and catching up and all is forgotten. Until, Jeonghan remembers it again.

---Time Skip---

Seungcheol's anxiety about messing it up with Jeonghan has been well under control since they grew close enough to spend the night at each other's places. And also because they've never had a fight. Ever. While happily reminiscing about all this, Seungcheol puts in the code for Jeonghan's door. But he's met with an empty home and no sign of Jeonghan. An familiar feelings starts invading Seungcheol's senses as he texts Jeonghan:

Cheolie : Hannie! You said you were at home? Where are you? Cheolie : Han? Are you okay? Hannie : Cheolie, hi! And yes, I'm okay. I forgot to mention because I was in a hurry. I had to come in for a client who requested me by name. Cheolie : Oh okay! Should I stay here or...? How long will it take you to come back? It seems rude to stay at your place without you? Idk... Hannie : I don't know how long it'll take...I'm not sure if you should stay back

Seungcheol feels like he's been punched in the gut. Because why did this hurt so much? Why doesn't Jeonghan want him to stay? Was it because...his thoughts ran a mile a minute as he typed:

Cheolie : Oh. Okay. Uh, I'll go home then. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. Hannie : Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you? And why are you sorry, baby? Cheolie : I thought you told me not to stay because you're mad at me... :( You're not? Hannie : Why would you think that? Of course I'm not mad at you. Listen, I have to go. I'll come over in the morning, yeah? Cheolie : Thank you! <3 See you tomorrow!

Back at the Salon, Jeonghan thinks about Seungcheol's behaviour just now and suddenly remembers their date that night at the Han river when he got the same uneasy feeling. Only this time, he has the time to sort through the mess in his head. So he has anxiety huh. How come I only noticed it then and now? Had he developed it before the Han River date? Or did he always had it?

As he keeps thinking, his mind goes as far as their first date and suddenly, all the puzzle pieces fall into place and Jeonghan bitterly muses: So SeungcheoI has anxiety and has been trying to desperately hide it from me? Who's gonna tell him that I love him and that I'm ready to be there for him through not just his anxiety, but throughout the rest of our life?

The answer to this rhetorical question comes soon enough, and Jeonghan does not handle well the fact that it was he that had to break it to Seungcheol.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME KNOW!? I'M LITERALLY YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT!? Seungcheol's yells ring out in the squeaky clean private room of a hospital, where Jeonghan is sitting on the bed with a bandaged arm and a weary expression.

"Cheol, baby, I'm sorry? Okay? There was no time to call you from the salon. I'm fiiine!", responded Jeonghan. The word "fine" didn't even feel like a word anymore because he'd reassured Seungcheol so many times with same word in the past hour, for the most part of which, Seungcheol was yelling.

"BUT YOU'RE NOT THOUGH? THAT'S WHY YOU'RE IN A HOSPITAL! WITH BANDAGES ON YOUR ARMS!!" Seungcheol cried out. "Okay okay fine I agree. I may not be exactly fine seeing that a significant amount of very hot wax fell right on my arm, causing blisters to erupt almost immediately", Jeonghan gave in, crestfallen. "OH MY GOD!? YOU ONLY TOLD ME IT WAS A SMALL ACCIDENT!? THIS ISN'T SMALL HAN OH MY GOD", Seungcheol was frantic now, which made Jeonghan rethink his decision to tell Seungcheol about it in the first place.

Jeonghan sighed. "Cheolie, my baby, please. Okay, it's not a 'small' accident, I know. I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't want you to panic and that's why I told you after I got treated".

"YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED, BY YOURSELF, AND AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO PANIC, HAN. I PANICKED ONLY BECAUSE I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM THE SALON THAT YOU WEREN'T THERE BUT AT THE HOSPITAL!! AND THEY LITERALLY SAID "SERIOUS ACCIDENT". DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH ON MY WAY HERE!?, screamed Seungcheol.

Jeonghan had had enough. He was trying his best knowing that it was not his Cheolie, but his anxiety that was yelling at him. But how much could be bear when all he was trying to do was prevent this very thing that was unfolding in front of him? It did not help that his own anger was also rising by the minute. He spat angrily, "Cheol, get the fuck out if you're going to keep yelling. I didn't know it was wrong to try to not worry one's partner, especially when the said partner has anxiety!" Seungcheol froze. "Y-you knew? All this time?", his voice trembled as he asked. "Yes, all this time. And how could I not when it was very obvious right from the first date? I never saw it as an issue! I noticed and I decided that to never give you a reason to be anxious when it came to me! But looks like I decided wrong", snarled Jeonghan Seungcheol gulped. 'Any minute now, it's all over', he thought.

"Get out Cheol. And don't come back. I can't talk to you right because I feel like I'm about to pass out from the pain. I'll let you know after I'm discharged. Just...I need some space right now" stated Jeonghan, as he lay down and turned away from Seungcheol.

It was like Jeonghan had confirmed his worst suspicions.

"I-I'm so sorry Jeonghan. I was scared and that's why I was yelling. I see now that it was not the best of reactions. And now that you know, I hope you can forgive me for not telling you. This is the reason I didn't tell any of my previous partners about my anxiety. I wish it wasn't like that but it looks like you've made your decision. It was nice knowing you Jeonghan. For what it's worth, you're the only one I ever felt safe with", Seungcheol murmured sadly, with tears in his eyes.

He turned away and left with a heavy heart, thinking that his anxiety had once again rendered him lonely, not realizing that Jeonghan hadn't heard his apology and adieu because he had indeed passed out from the pain.

Seungcheol's anxiety was replaced with grief since the moment he stepped out of Jeonghan's hospital room and he had been grieving for over 48 hours now, if the wall-clock in the living room was an indication. He hadn't done anything in that time except for drinking some water which was not quenching his thirst (and hunger) but only replenishing his tear ducts.

This wasn't new to him - he had gone without eating for more than 48 hours when his anxiety had taken a hit for the worse one day. But it was first time doing the same due to grief. He hadn't had much to grieve for in his previous relationships seeing as they ended before he had time to get attached. But with Jeonghan, he hadn't just gotten attached, he had fallen head-over-heels in love with him. But none of that mattered right now, because it was all over.

As fresh tears started rolling down his cheeks, his door opened. His hungry, thirsty, and sleep-deprived brain couldn't comprehend it immediately but slowly caught up to the fact that a very bewildered Jeonghan was standing in front of him right now. "Cheol, what happened? Why have you been crying?", asks Jeonghan while shaking him a little.

When Seungcheol stumbles and fall on the couch as a result of the little shaking, Jeonghan is alarmed.

"What in the world? Cheolie? Have you even eaten today? Why do you look so pale and weak? And your eyes!? Why do you look like you haven't slept in two days?!?", Jeonghan goes on as he starts to panic. "It's because...I haven't slept in two days Jeonghan. I have done absolutely nothing since I sat on this couch after coming back from the hospital", Seungcheol replies quietly. "CHEOL WHAT THE FUCK!? Thankfully, I got food! Please eat first, then you can tell me what happened", Jeonghan said as he tried to compose himself. Seungcheol sees that his arm was fine except for fading circular scars where the blisters used to be.

"But why are you here Jeonghan? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?", questioned Seungcheol.

"Ah yes. I was about to get to that. I was angry and I was in pain. I lashed out and I'm very sorry. I know that you were yelling because you were worried. But, really, I was in no position to take that and that was the reason why I asked you to leave", Jeonghan explained.

"But you didn't call me after getting discharged. So I thought...you know...that we were broken up", Seungcheol uttered sorrowfully. And then added, "You do remember what I said when I left, right?"

"Huh? You said something before leaving? I'm not sure, I passed out right after I asked you to leave and lied down. Was it something important?", Jeonghan asked sheepishly.

Seungcheol was flabbergasted that his woeful monologue went unheard but he shrugged it off as he said, "No, it was nothing important. Don't worry about it."

Jeonghan continued, "See, I know it looked like that - both from what I said and the fact that I didn't call. But, truthfully, the thought about wanting to end things did cross my mind. But only for a fleeting second because I was feeling vulnerable then. And then I decided against it because it was the easy way out". "Why decide against it when it was easy, Jeonghan?", Seungcheol interrupted.

"Because I don't want the 'easy' Cheol, I want you", declared Jeonghan. "I knew it wasn't easy when I chose to go on the 6th date, after I wondered if you had anxiety. I knew it wasn't going to be easy at all after the 8th date when I realized that you had anxiety. So yes Seungcheol, I choose you, the you who may not be easy, but are so easy to love", whispered Jeonghan, while looking tearfully at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol, albeit happy, whispered miserably, "But why did you choose me over and over again? Why give me a second chance after the thought of breaking up had crossed your mind?"

"Because… honestly? I don’t think you ever had a real chance at all. What with the anxiety, I believe you were not able to show your true self", said Jeonghan wistfully.

"I love you, Han. I'm sorry I put you through this. Now that you're here and you know, I feel more confident about dealing with my anxiety. And it wasn't as bad anyway after the 8th date you know?", Seungcheol chuckled wetly.

"I love you too, Cheol. And no, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. And it's true that it wasn't that bad after the 8th date. I saw that too. See, if you need any help, as in therapy or something else, we'll look into that too, okay? You don't ever have to feel like you're alone in this. We're in this together okay?", promised Jeonghan as he kissed the top of Seungcheol's forehead.

A/N: It's my first fic here on tumblr. I don't usually write angst but I tried something because the prompt caught my eye. And it took me so long to finish it because I was so busy T_T. Anyway, it's over so that's that. And I'll add a header and all that pizzazz later.

Thanks for reading! <3

Consider buying me a coffee if you liked it!

Comments and Feedback are appreciated.

Send me an ask if you have any fic/au/imagines/reaction requests!