#my silly little bitch

[slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea]

How long do you think it would take before he forcefully shakes himself awake?

[relaxxattack]

people will really write rose as a badass girlboss as if her main character trait isn’t hubris. as if her main story arc wasn’t her fucking things over for everyone time and time again by assuming she was better and wiser. oh you think rose is a girlboss? rose who intentionally allowed herself to be corrupted by morally ambiguous terrors because she thought it might give her a slight mental advantage on the game? rose who willingly went along with the manipulation of a groomer because she thought his idea of putting a tumor into the universe was smart? THAT rose? that rose??? why don’t you ask her where the green sun is. since she’s such a competent and intelligent boss bitch

[puppyeared]

Odd couple <3

[snufkins-boot]

Dc x dp idea: time travel yaaaay

Danny, Sam and Tucker get back from fixing some errors in the time line in France just before the French Revolution.

And sure Danny got mistaken for a French aristocrat that had died the day before they got there but it wasn’t to bad, it only made their jobs easier. It won’t be a problem for them.

Meanwhile Constantine, Batman and whoever the fuck else (imma say Hal, I love that green bitch) are exploring an abandoned manor in France after there being reports of strange, violent activity, and with their latest teammate Phantom not picking up their calls Constantine had to pull these two with him instead.

“Hey guys, Phantom’s a ghost, right?”

Hal sounds hesitant as Constantine replies

“Yes, why?”

“I think I found a picture of him living.”

and there on the wall is a picture of a long dead french aristocrat, with black hair and blue eyes but every other detail the same as Phantom’s

There on the wall sits a photo of Daniel Nightingale, a teenager who was possessed by a demon and killed two servants, then himself.

[captain-rickbond]

"Left a bit!"

[pussypopstiel]

Sometimes I watch a clip of the show again and I’m like oh yeah actually Sam was the one who rarely spoke about his emotions and the idea of him being the emotionally intelligent one is just because sams way of coping is intellectualizing his feelings and distancing himself from actually feeling his emotions when he talks about them.

[sigmalaussene]

Top ten weird ways Oswald Cobbepot gets called in Gotham

As I was rewatching Gotham, I decided to write down every name that people in the show canonically call Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. It was a wild ride. Please enjoy

10. "Funny looking fellow"

(season one)

We start with a simple one. This isn't even an insult, it's just a fact. He is, indeed, a funny looking fellow. I'm pretty sure they say it more than once too.

9. "The Dapper Gangland Kingpin"

(season two)

This one it's just silly, especially since it was written on a newspaper. Just... that's weird ? Idk it's silly it makes me chuckle

8. "Yellow rat snitch"

(season one)

We start getting a little weirder. Why a rat? And, more importantly, why yellow???

7. "Stupid lame birdbrain"

(season four)

Just so mean. Especially since this scene it's his dumb husband making a room full of people chant it

6. "Golden goose"

(season one)

Right back to season one and it's incredible dialogue. This one is particularly amazing thanks to Oswald's reply to it, which was, of course: "Honk honk". I can't even start to describe that scene. It's a classic.

5. "Beaky nosed freak"

(season five)

Definitely the best nickname the last season had to offer. Like, you know that moment when a guy kills your bestfriend/girlfriend and you call him the silliest name you can think of? This is one of those times.

4. "Scaley faced bitch"

(season one)

This is the first one in the show, directly from the first episode. I am a firm supporter of calling men bitches when they deserve it, and he did, so I wholeheartedly approve this message. Adding the scaley face part just makes it more poetic.

3. "Sad little breadhead"

(season two)

This one from never fails. Imagine it delivered with the most condicending tone in the world. Just amazing. Makes me laugh every time.

2. "Fruitcake leprechaun"

(season two)

This. This is the one that started it all. It was thinking about this one that I decided that this rewatch I was gonna write down all the nicknames. I dont know if it has something to do with english not being my first language, so I don't have the background of the word "fruitcake" used as an homophobic remark, but this name is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.

1. "Limping little chickenbutt second banana"

(season one)

This couldn't not be on the first place. I am obsessed with the writers of this show, i want to get inside their brains. Because like what does it mean? How did they come up with this? I need to know every thought that crossed their mind for them to write this. This is art. This is poetry. Incredible. Amazing. Absolutely insane. Kudos to the actor who played Maroni because if they gave me that line I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face.

Bonus:

(For the fans, he is also called "the only thing Nygma cares about". Just... you know, in case you forgot)

Some recurrent nicknames are: "Pengy", "Ozzie", "freak", "cockroach", "punk", bird related names (bird/birdman, feathered friend, chicken, turkey...) and "little"/"tiny" followed by almost anything (man, friend, dirtbag, bastard, creep, twerp, freak, weasel...)

Edit: i realize i didn't mention "Major Crumblepot" and that's on me sorry guys

His haircut is described as "disco vampire hair" at one point (another classic)

He is also called "specimen", which is really funny, and "dewdropper"?? for some reason I don't remember but it was in my notes and I couldn't ignore it lmao

[sleepire]

They are extremely precious to me

For Valentine's day!!! :) 🩷

[ibeewashere]

I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.

[hydros-art-and-gaming]

Berdly being a flustered mess is my fav <3

[chlorophyll-tints]

every metal bat and garou interaction looks like this to me

[deadscell]

if you ever feel safe, remember that he’s out there

[hp-hcs]

(Fine, I’ll do it my damn self: part 4 of my silly lil mlm stories <3)

Surrounded By Fucking Idiots (Chapter Two of Gay Awakening) — smitten! mattheo riddle x male! reader

TWs: implied violence

homeboy is s m i t t e n (also i tried to make him a little less ooc this time lmfao)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Dude, why is Y/N in your bed?”

Mattheo yawned, blinking up at Blaise who was standing by the side of the bed, hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised.

Mattheo’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned his head to find you—sure enough—lying on your stomach, asleep, next to him. You had one hand loosely fisted in the front of Mattheo’s shirt, and he had his tangled in your hair.

Mattheo’s mouth suddenly went dry as he tried to think of any explanation, running over a dozen half-believable fibs in his mind.

However, Blaise interrupted him before he could spin an elaborate story. “I don’t care if you’re gay, Theo. You’re my friend. Just treat ‘im right, yeah?”

“How’d you-” Mattheo licked his lips. “How’d you know?”

“I have eyes, Riddle. Now, wake up your lover boy and come down for breakfast. I’m starving.”

Mattheo let out a soft huh as Blaise walked out, shaking his head to himself and muttering something about being “surrounded by idiots in fucking glass closets.”

~~~

That day was entirely and completely odd. Your masc friends wouldn’t even make eye contact with you while your fem friends would burst out into nervous giggles when you said hello, immediately coming up with some half-baked excuse to hurriedly run off.

“Theo,” you mumbled as you sat down for dinner next to him at the Slytherin table, the third years next to you instantly scooting away. “Why’s everyone avoiding me?”

“I wonder,” was muttered across the table by the chaser for Slytherin, Adrian, who pointedly stared down at his plate rather than anywhere else. Despite that, his fresh black eye was still clearly visible.

Mattheo smiled at you, saying nothing, but tugging at the hem of your shirtsleeve.

You glanced down, turning a beet red when you realized that you hadn’t taken off his quidditch jersey—the one he’d let you borrow to sleep in last night. “Oh-”

“Yep.”

Glancing around the Great Hall, it didn’t escape your notice that the eyes of the professors’ table kept falling from your face to Mattheo’s last name on the back of his jersey, doing mental gymnastics to figure out what was even going on.

“I think you should wear my last name more often, love. Really get the message across to everyone.”

“Oh, I think they got the message already, dickhead.”

He snickered and kissed the top of your head, a smug look on his face as your classmates purposefully kept their gaze in any direction but where you both were.

The only person who seemed entirely unbothered by the situation was Blaise, who was indifferently stirring sugar into his tea. “Congrats, Riddle. You’ve just sprinted out of the closet. Admirable, certainly, albeit entirely moronic.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate your honesty.”

“No problem. It’s what friends are for, Theo.”

You just drop your head down onto the table, groaning to yourself. “I’m the one surrounded by fucking idiots.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter Three

[0605018redactedasmr]

Me: I love plot heavy asmr/audios !!!!

Person: That must mean your favs are the Solaire Clan and the Shaw Pack right ???

Me: no...

Person: Ah got you ! Is it The Balance or Project Meridian then???

Me:...

Person:...

Me: It's the Damn Crew

[sciderman]

Tips from a trans masc that passes pretty damn well even though I haven’t started transitioning and can’t bind.

1. Walk like you carry your manhood between your legs! If you pretend like you got a “package” while you walk (if you don’t have a packer which I don’t) it’ll make your stride look way more masc. it’s the shuttle things people.(don’t overdo it though)

2. Looking for Jeans? Levi’s 505 pant cut. I personally think this cut is great for people who don’t want their wide hips to be so obvious. Thigh room and baggy legs. I should be a 32x33 but I always go for 34x34 for the best baggy effect. Got like three pairs of these.

3. Tired of wearing huge shirts? Sometimes smaller is better. When buying a shirt make sure it’s cropped above your hips so it doesn’t hug your figure, the shirt must fall straight from the pit (make sure it’s lose around the torso to hide the waist), keep sleeves of shirt short and tight (makes arms look bigger and muscular)

4. I know putting weight on one leg is much more comfortable but sacrifices need to be made. Keep weight equal on both feet, and keep them apart by about a foot in distance (Evens out the curve of your hips and makes it a little less noticeable). To be more comfortable I like to sway back and forth if I get tired of standing like that for too long.

5. DARK CLOTHES CREATE LESS SHADOWS, BETTER AT HIDING THE CURVES!

6. I know you want to slouch. Don’t do it. It’s not worth the terrible posture. We men got to stand up straight and maximize our height.

I could keep going but I’ll cut it short at the MOST achievable stuff.

you’re forgetting one vital step and that’s to listen to this song every morning at breakfast

you can skip all the other steps if you can’t remember them it’s fine (I’ll forgive you, king)

[averagebsdenjoyer]

dottore fans are so funny bc wdym "y/n has terrible nightmares so Zandik spends the night with them, craddling their head in his lap until they fall asleep🥺🥺" or "dottore is mean to everyone but has a soft spot for you" Dottore would literally call y/n a slur and spit in their grave after putting them in said grave. He is absolutely feral, this man is NOT for relationships and love, he probably thinks the cl!t is a myth to fuck with men's self esteem (greatest doctor my ass, he can't even hold a crying baby without shaking the little sperm for "experience")