#narcissistic abuse isn't real

[alostlittleriverlotus]

what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

[adhbabey]

When people are saying "narcissistic abuse doesn't exist", we're not saying that person didn't abuse you, we're saying that there is no differentiation from a neurotypical/abled abuser and an abuser with a personality disorder.

There are different types of abuse, such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, etc. But there is no unique abuse caused by someone with mental illness.

We're saying that abuse isn't specifically caused by mental illness, and to insinuate that is to be ableist. Not all crimes nor abuse are caused by people with mental disorders. It's an ableist myth that mentally ill people are evil or dangerous just because they're mentally ill or neurodivergent.

You could be abused by anyone, with any type of abuse. But narcissistic, bpd, or otherwise abuse is NOT a type of abuse. Stop being ableist. Stop pushing narratives that people with these disorders and disabilities are evil just because they have them.

Be real for one second and don't assume strangers are evil because they're mentally ill. Sure, you got abused by one. But plenty of us have been abused by people who have traits that make them systemically oppressed. Like abused by women, abused by people of color, abused by queer people, etc. But we don't say their abusive traits are caused by that. They're abusive because they're a bad person, not because they're a minority.

[crimsoncosmic]

Just coming here to say that:

Narcissism and being a narcissist is a mental illness. It is not an adjective you can use to describe your ex who just happened to be a bit of a jerk.

Bipolar is a mental illness. It is not an adjective you can use to describe somebody who’s just a bit moody

Psychopath/Sociopath are both extremely stigmatized mental illnesses, and should not be used as a word to describe someone you simply just don’t like

OCD isn’t just being a perfectionist and being obsessed with cleaning.

ADHD isn’t just some quirky trait and having a lot of energy. It’s actually a learning disability

Autism IS A DISABILITY. It’s not a “different ability” it’s a disability, and it’s okay to acknowledge it as that.

Narcissistic Abuse isn’t a real thing, and the term only “narcissistic abuse” only causes more stigma around people who have NPD

That’s all.

[cupboard-of-npd]

Oh the world would be so great if 'narcissistic' abuse referred to someone using someones NPD against them to abuse them instead of the ableist bullshit it currently means

God I wish we lived in that world

[leo--png]

I love having NPD because everyone thinks I am inherently evil and an abuser!! I love having NPD because everyone thinks that I have a comically high ego and will only ever think or talk about myself!! I love having NPD because people believe that I can never have a healthy relationship or truly love anyone!! I love having NPD because everyone hates me just because of my disorder!! I love having NPD because everyone thinks I am completely cold and uncaring because of my lack of empathy!!

Everything aside, I am not inherently evil because of my disorder, I also can love people and have healthy relationships with friends and family and everyone else, because healthy relationships are formed on communication, which is something I'm good at. I am not an abuser, I do not deserve to be abused or hated. I do not feel empathy but that does not make me "uncaring", I care deeply for everyone I am close to, I express this through sympathy rather than empathy.

I need people to understand that NPD is a personality disorder and does not make you a bad person.

Thanks guys!!

Also to anyone else reading who has NPD, I love you and you are not deserving of abuse!!

[thecupboardhasitsmoments]

NPD culture is

I made another conversation about myself: 😃😃😃

I made another conversation about myself: ☹️☹️☹️

[narzoid]

There's this annoying narc abuse truther on tiktok. He armchair diagnosed his mother and two siblings with a RARE traumagenic disorder and claims to have better knowledge on cluster B disorders and wholeheartedly believes in narcissistic abuse while also claiming to support people with NPD. I'm name dropping him because he made a video about me. His Tiktok user is sonofanpd

Mind you, both me and my mutual were trying to tell him that npd is already stigmatized enough, and if he truly wants to support the NPD community like he said, he should stop believing in and spreading the harmful misinformation about "narcissistic abuse", or as he likes to call it, "NPD abuse". He calls this harassment while he was literally making smart-ass comments and mocking us the entire time, telling my mutual that they should befriend his "narcissistic" mother.

Update: he privated his video to delete the comments from me and my mutual, blocked us, then unprivated his video and claimed that me and my mutual were the same person, claiming that I was a teenage girl with npd. I called him out on it, only then to obviously get blocked again.

So npd community, do your worst.

(Rearranged some paragraphs to make it more understandable. I also regret not taking more screen shots to show what led up to this happening)

"You listen here, pal! 😡" ass video

[sassypotatoe1]

Since I just met someone who believes this in real life this is your friendly reminder that there is no such thing as narcissistic abuse, people with npd are much more likely to be abused than to perpetrate it, and if you think npd makes people abusive you fundamentally misunderstand what npd is and how it works.

Have you tried referring to the abuse you face by the correct terms, ie social abuse (when they cut you off from friends and family and control who you have contact with), financial abuse (when they control your income and access to it and make you completely financially dependent on them by making sure you don't work or earn your own income), emotional abuse (when they insult, criticize and emotionally manipulate you into behavior they deem appropriate), or psychological abuse (when they gaslight you or purposely traumatize you to make you feel and seem like you're going crazy so the attention and blame is off them).

Npd only has to do with abuse in the sense that they're more likely to end up and stay in abusive relationships because the trauma that caused their npd is from abusive relationships, making them more vulnerable to abuse. They are, and I cannot stress this enough, not abusive. Some of them might be, but it's not caused by their npd, it's a conscious choice they make as people. Their npd might just exacerbate it, but they are very likely in the minority.

[queerfemboybf]

ah. love scrolling down my dash to see a bunch of reblogs demonizing people with NPD and using the term narcissistic abuse./s

please fucking educate yourself. npd ≠ abusive. abusive people are abusive, no mental health issue or disorder is inherently abusive.

there are so many abuse descriptors you can fucking use: mental, emotional, physical, sexual, psychological, financial.. fucking! use! them! and stop adding onto the massive stigma NPD has. it's a fucking personality disorder. they are also likely to be victims of abuse.

sorry for the swearing and all but I'm so fed up with this

[intersex-idiots]

"narcissistic abuse-" no FUCK YOU lmao. FUCK. YOU. i'm so done with you people. genuinely, fuck you. i hate you. i HATE you. i genuinely fucking hate you.

[solitaryschizoid]

neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist

[alostlittleriverlotus]

All I did was look up "word salad" trying to understand it since I'm having a bit of an episode and needed to explain it to my non-psychotic friend.

So. Many. Articles. About. Narcissistic. Word. Salad. What???

Saying it's an intentional gaslighting method by narcissists. Even saw one for psychopaths. When did the anti-narcs steal the term word salad??? Word salad is a symptom of schizophrenia. What the actual fuck? I can't even feel truly mad, I'm just disgusted.

Word salad isn't just "bringing stuff up that doesn't have anything to do with the current conversation" or "throwing in words to manipulate you into feeling like it's your fault." Guess what. As a narcissist and psychotic, my narcissism has some bad delusions with it especially when I'm triggered. So yeah, some things I say may not make sense. Cause I'm having a fucking episode. It is not intentional manipulation.

Seriously. I have not fucking seen this until I just wanted to Google word salad to try to give my friend an idea of what was happening since I'm having a moment of clarity. Did not need to be met with anti narcissist bullshit. I typed in TWO WORDS. That is how fucking easy this information is to find. I'm sick of this shit.

[adhbabey]

I've noticed a lot of people unfollowing me lately after I posted NPD positivity and support.

Well, I'm someone with a stigmatized disorder too, Dissociative Identity Disorder. And I honestly see all of us with stigmatized disorders in the same boat, whether it be personality disorders, dissociative disorders, bipolar or other mood disorders, schizo-spectrum disorders, etc. I see all of us in solidarity, even if I don't have every single disorder that I support.

So if you can't handle that, if you choose to see everyone with a stigmatized disorder as an enemy, if you see us as lesser or as dangerous, just unfollow me completely. My blog isn't for you just because you can "accept" less stigmatized mental disorders and not other ones.

I hope all trauma survivors who stand by the term of "narcissistic abuse", know that you make a mockery of those of us with severe trauma. You make a mockery of the trauma community in general, and you are a fool. How dare you? When you never faced jack shit in comparison to what some of us had to face. If you can't accept that people develop painful and difficult disorders due to trauma, especially childhood trauma, then you know nothing about what it means to be supportive to other trauma survivors.

How dare you treat other trauma survivors like this? Its fucking pathetic. And you say someone like me knows nothing about being abused? I literally have dissociative identity disorder, you know, the one caused by prolonged childhood trauma? Not only that, it's polyfragmented, meaning I have several layers of trauma that causes me to split more alters on average. And you say I know nothing about what it's like to be abused? You're pathetic and ignorant of the struggles of other trauma survivors and it shows.

All of you say that you have empathy, that you're empaths, but yet you won't share a shred of empathy to anyone who you deem as bad, just because they have unpalatable symptoms? Its fucking hypocrisy. Get a grip and give me a fucking break. You have it bad? Go fuck yourself if you're using your abuse as an excuse to enact ableist abuse and harassment onto others. My blog will never be for you. Give me a fucking break.

[autopsyfreak]

tired of people on tiktok acting like BPD and HPD are the ‘good cluster b disorders’ or the ‘victim cluster b’s’ meanwhile NPD and ASPD are the ‘evil mean abusive cluster b’s’

stfu.

we’re in the same cluster for a reason, you can’t support some whilst demonising the others.

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

🧝🏻‍♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow

The first signs of a narcissist is their bad energy. You’ll feel engulfed the second you step into the room. Their eyes will turn black and they will start using their satanic manipulation powers on you. Then, it’s very subtle, but they will sprout huge, curled, black devil horns from their head and will tear you to shreds, all in the span of a second, and then personally drag your body to hell. The only way to stop them is to literally kill them.

Follow for more tips on how to stay safe! 🤗

#positivity #empathy #empath #self care #self love #NARCS KILL YOURSELVES #abuse survivor #recovery #love #hope #happiness

1 bazillion notes

🌼 npdiscovery

hey guys can we please stop throwing people with personality disorders under the bus?

🧝🏻‍♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow

This is a prime example on why narcissists will always be evil abusers. Here one is, right now, denying that I went through abuse and saying my trauma isn’t real. It’s messed up. We need to permanently kick out narcissists from public spaces, because stuff like this is NOT okay. Here is a link on how to trigger a narcissistic collapse for your next encounter. Just be warned, some narcissists are known to shoot lazers from their eyes when they’re angry.

#stay safe! #abuse surviver #narc abuse #ppl with npd are inherently evil #i would know i’m an empath so i’m better #i mean not evil #positivity #safety #self care #a better world #self love

26 notes

[will-pilled]