#navigating relationships

[askanautistic]

I am self diagnosed on the spectrum, I struggle heavily with social cues and communicating with other people. It’s hard for me to ask other people questions about their day without being promoted, I expect them to tell me those things without me having to ask. This has become a huge issue in my relationship and recently escalated pretty severely. I have been open with them that I believe I’m on the spectrum, but I don’t want to use it as an excuse. How can I start a conversation with them about how my neurodivergent tendencies are the cause of what they feel is me being inattentive or self-absorbed?

Personally, I prefer addressing issues in writing. I find it easier to express myself, and it means that they have to read what I write and consider it in its entirety before responding (whereas attempting to have a face-to-face discussion means people can interrupt and people get sidetracked by perceived tone or attitude).

So I would send them a message, explaining things from my perspective.

But, as you are now aware that this is an issue, and something that is important to your partner, in this case I would also then say that I'd like to find ways around this issue that works for both of us. To make it clear that the issue is with both of us having different ways of thinking and different expectations, and we need to respect each other's differences and find a compromise.

This might be trying to find prompts/set times when you'll ask them. Maybe they could ask you first and you could use that as a prompt to reciprocate once you've answered. Or you could decide that you'll ask them first thing as soon as you are both together (whether that's one of you arriving home to the other, or both of you meeting up elsewhere).

Or, if there are other barriers to this (like needing to decompress when you get home, or being in the middle of something you're focused on) scripts or expectations for discussing your days. Scripts could be along the lines of: 'Hi! I need some time to decompress, but then I'll come find you so we can tell each other about our days.' OR you could both just expect that you decompress up until dinner time, then you'll both eat a meal together and discuss your days then.

(If you don't live together or have those natural or regular times when you'd be together to catch up, then you could arrange to catch up or eat together via video call, or set an alarm to send a text checking in at a certain time.)

Also, if they are being a bit unreasonable, and wanting you to show excessive interest and to ask multiple questions, then they need to also compromise in this, and understand that you might be able to ask more routine questions, like asking how their day was, but that they can't expect you to know everything that needs to be asked, or to take specific interest in aspects of their day that might be of little consequence (you don't need to care about what they had for lunch every day, or how the traffic was, so why would you ask for those details?). It might be fair that they want you to ask about their day, or take some interest in how they are and what they've been up to, but it's also fair for us to assume that the people we're close to might WANT to share things with us and so might volunteer things instead of always needing for us to prise that information from them.

Tip jar.

[xxdreamscapes]

honey brown

Honey brown, aglow in the sunlight Refracted rays, Pools of amber & gold

Feared to ever describe something as just what it is Just brown alone, normal but beautiful, you’re scared to admit you’re just like anyone else

“Honey” makes it special Like hair you refuse to dye unless called by any name sweeter than simple a “brown” shade

When your parents split up, Up. You got two houses I got half a home, some floors, and maybe some couches Sometimes I wish I didn’t try so much We aren’t the same as I thought.

Your mom thought we were together Our friends told me that. Were you just embarrassed? Maybe it’s the level of care I give all my friends in a shallow world, where Everything’s centered on romance

You sink into your novels blue light, bright screen There’s romance in friendships You’re just too dull to see.

Do as you say, not as you do can’t commit to big change It’s not your nature to. When you cut your hair short Remember who was there? All my of support, and care, until the bitter end. Try to rebrand, by doing the same every time, you like to lie. Swear you’re so different

Say let’s take space, say you "support" me what you wanted was exit. Cowardly lion. Condescend me, be honest. Your problems would know it. You say that you’re sorry, Put me down in the same breath Would your parents be proud, of how you treat your friends?

Felt you were better, felt you’d “level up” "If someone doesn't add to your life, subtract them" How does it feel to cut my nose clean off of my face, just to land in the same goddamn place? Everything's you, main character syndrome. Think people should serve you, their value determined. By what’s in their pockets, Like your family's servants? I’m still me and you’re just the same dumpster fire, tragedy you’ve always been

Unlike you, I don’t give up when it’s hard You think you’re lazy, I think that you’re on to something so meta. You know what they say, birds of a feather they flock together

And I should be thanking you ! giving me the space to grow, and time to pick out the splinters By now you’re long gone, and I don't really miss you We never finished our film list. It’s kind of poetic, how you make grand gestures but never commit to finish

We’re not really strangers, not by a long shot. Getting closer as friends, Flowers, she hated it. We’re not really strangers, guess now we kind of are You took off on your flight, and I took it to heart

[setokaibapetty]

Fic Friday 5 + 1 Roundup: Poly

In the interests of representation during Pride, have some more non-heteronormative couples, have some fics with poly relationships.

Where the Wanderer Goes (AO3) - "A whirlwind romance during the Red Raids between Nil and Fashav is brought to a tragic end at Cinnabar Sands. Both men think the other is dead. Fashav finds happiness with the Tenakth, and with Kotallo. And Aloy burns away the mangled shadows of Nil's past. When they meet in the Forbidden West, four worlds will be shaken. Thrown together by circumstance and necessity, old flames will rekindle as well as new. Fashav and Aloy are soulmates, but, they discover, so are Nil and Kotallo.

On Freedom and Other Formalities (AO3) - "When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC"

Suddenly, Qunari (AO3) - "Life surprises a Dragon Age fan, who wakes up in the body of Kaaras Adaar. When push comes to shove, what else can you do but help to save the world?" Set to Private

denizens of the sands of time (AO3) - "Happy accidents were less rare than they used to be, even if they still had a trend of making things worse before they got better. Gaara would take what he could get."

i am out with lanterns, looking for myself (AO3) - "When Dark Woman orders him to fall in the name of finding the Sith Lord and ending the war, Jon obeys the way he always does. If it's in the name of saving more lives, he can believe it's worth it, no matter what he has to do. Rex and Cody getting dragged down with him was never something he intended.

Bonus: We Don't Do Normal (AO3) - "Peter Parker hits the dating scene at the same time Deadpool makes a move on Spider-man. Peter never intended for his and Spider-man's life to be so separated that he ended up dating two different people in each world. Yet, here he was... Now all he had to do was figure out how to fix it without everything exploding. (Perhaps literally with Deadpool involved.)"

[themindfulfemale]

The Key Signs of Emotional Intelligence

Active Listening: One of the most obvious signs of emotional intelligence is the ability to listen attentively and actively. An emotionally intelligent person will give you their full attention when you’re speaking, making eye contact, nodding, and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. They don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions. For example, if you’re telling a colleague about a problem you’re facing, they might say, ‘I hear you. That sounds tough. What do you think is the best next step?’ This shows empathy and validation of your feelings.

Self-Awareness: Emotionally intelligent people tend to have a high level of self-awareness. They know their strengths and weaknesses and aren’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong or need help. You’ll notice that they’re comfortable talking about their own feelings and can express emotions without shame or defensiveness. For instance, in a disagreement, a self-aware person might say, ‘I realize I got really defensive just now. I’m sorry.’ This takes courage and emotional maturity. It’s a sign of someone who is aware of their emotions and can regulate them.

Empathy: Emotionally intelligent people are able to put themselves in others' shoes and truly understand what others are feeling. You’ll notice that they’re not just sympathetic, they’re deeply empathetic, which means they take the time to understand others' perspectives. Imagine you’re going through a tough time and a friend says, ‘I’m here for whatever you need.’ That kind of response shows empathy and it acknowledges your pain and offers support without trying to fix or judge.

Emotional Regulation: Emotional intelligent people know how to manage their emotions, especially in stressful or challenging situations. They don’t lash out in anger, become passive-aggressive, or shut down. Instead, they remain calm, composed, and respond thoughtfully to situations. For example, in a stressful meeting, an emotionally intelligent person might say, ‘I’m feeling frustrated right now, but I think it’s important we focus on the solution. Let’s take a moment.’ This shows they can regulate their reactions and keep the bigger picture in mind.

Conflict Resolution: Emotionally intelligent individuals are great at resolving conflicts in a calm, constructive manner. They don’t escalate tension or play blame games. Instead, they work collaboratively toward solutions and focus on mutual understanding. So, let’s say a friend is upset with you, and instead of blaming them back, an emotionally intelligent response could be, ‘I understand that my actions hurt you. Let’s talk about what happened and find a way to move forward.’ This shows maturity and the ability to navigate tough conversations without damaging the relationship.

Adaptability and Flexibility: Emotionally intelligent people are adaptable and able to cope with change. They don’t get stuck in rigid thinking and are open to new ideas and perspectives. In a workplace or social situation, they can shift gears easily when things don’t go as planned, showing that they can remain positive and constructive in the face of uncertainty. If a work project changes unexpectedly, they might say, ‘This is a big shift, but I think we can adapt to the new plan. Let’s figure out the best.’ Their flexibility in moments of change helps ease tension and uncertainty.

Positive and Supportive: Finally, emotionally intelligent people tend to be positive and supportive without being overly pushy or fake. They uplift others and offer encouragement, whether it’s in personal or professional settings. They celebrate others’ successes and show genuine happiness for their achievements. For example, if a friend gets a promotion, an emotionally intelligent person might say, ‘That’s amazing! You worked really hard, and I’m proud of you.’ They celebrate others' wins with and don’t feel threatened by it.

[toni-onone]

Navigating Relationships: Losing Some When Living for Christ and Its Impact on Marriage

Title: Navigating Relationships: Losing Some When Living for Christ and Its Impact on Marriage Introduction:Embarking on a journey of faith and living a life devoted to Christ can be a transformative and deeply fulfilling experience. However, this spiritual growth and renewed commitment can sometimes lead to shifts in relationships, causing distance or even rifts with certain individuals. One of…

[shreeisspecial]

Navigating relationships in the modern world can be both exhilarating and challenging. With evolving societal norms, increased access to technology, and shifting gender roles, modern women face unique dynamics in their personal and romantic lives. This blog will provide practical advice for modern women on how to build and maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships.

[artofthechristianninja]

Crowdsourcing a Complicated Emotional Situation - Stream Stories

Listen to the “Stream Story” Podcast Episode here: It came out of nowhere, completely unplanned. We were in the middle of playing NieR:Automata—a game full of philosophical questions and complex moral choices—when a viewer named “Kit the Dragon” started pouring out a complicated and emotional situation: “My housemate admitted they have feelings for me, and it’s definitely interesting.” Her best…

[everythingsdestiel]

There’s something so tragic about Cersei hating Robert (rightfully so) but becoming him all the same.

She hates ruling but loves the power it gives her over others. She drinks heavily. Abuses those around her. She fantasizes about a life with Rhaegar a man she never knew and never loved in the same way that Robert obsessed over Lyanna. She becomes someone that even Tommen (her son whom she loves dearly) fears. It mirrors the ways in which Robert abused Joffrey, but she hurts Tommen emotionally as opposed to physically.

All her life she wanted to be Jaime but instead she becomes the man she despised.

[crawlingdrawing]

The Cage - Epilogue, Kurt and Rogue, part one

master post

Since the whole ordeal is over, everyone's now fine, all good, no complaints, doing superbly 👍

[xxdreamscapes]

I sleep well knowing when people I love raise an issue in our relationship, I don’t rush to defense or make the conversation about fairness

p.s. rushing to resolve, 9 times out of 10, is to make yourself feel better, not the person on the other side of the conflict ✧ദ്ദി (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[point-two-two]

Letting your business partner pretend you're abusing him so you can con the living daylights out of foreign diplomats that you kept waiting for nearly three hours is crazy. And to rub it in by planning a skit where you bring him iced coffee and he complains about it? Iconic showstopping never seen before this is EVEN BETTER than the little show they put on for Taewon which was one of my favorite jinjae moments truly I feel like I just received a surprise custom-made cake after ordering a custom-made cupcake

[solarmorrigan]

oooh. fic requests! how about 6 - fight or 19 - allergies for steddie?

Hello! I'm sorry it took so long to get to this one, but I hope it's alright! I went with:

6. Fight - Steddie

cw: implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced domestic violence, unhealthy relationship dynamics (not between Eddie and Steve)

-

The most frustrating thing about fighting with Steve is that he doesn’t fight. Not really.

Sure, he’ll poke and he’ll prod and he’ll snip and he’ll snap; he’ll dole out bitchy, passive aggressive comments and roll his eyes and sigh pointedly, but the moment things get heated, the moment an argument gets real, it’s just–

“Fine. Fine,” Steve snaps, tossing his hands up with an exasperated huff. “You’re right, okay? I’m– I’m sorry.”

And at first, Eddie had always felt so vindicated, so flush with the triumph of winning an argument, that it had taken him a while to realize that it felt– wrong. That Steve—so confident, so sure in his opinions, so willing to stand up to people when he has something to defend—would just give in without a fight– it feels wrong.

So Eddie had tried to pay attention – really pay attention. They don’t fight often, but when an argument inevitably does crop up, Eddie always wins. Rather, Steve always lets him. He never raises his voice, never gets in Eddie’s face, never really even makes counterarguments. He cedes to Eddie’s points and then subsides and it’s– it’s infuriating, because Eddie doesn’t understand.

“Don’t do that,” Eddie growls, tugging a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Don’t– what? Don’t apologize?” Steve asks incredulously.

“No!” Eddie bursts out. “Not if you don’t mean it!”

“Excuse me?” Steve draws back, offended. “What the hell do you want me to do to prove I’m sincere? Get on my knees and fucking grovel?”

“That’s not–” Eddie leaves off with a frustrated noise, trying hard to keep his tone level. “I don’t want to win an argument just because you let me. I don’t want you to apologize just because you think it’s what I want to hear.”

“I’m not letting you win,” Steve says quickly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You are, though. You do. Every time. You won’t actually engage, you just say I’m right and then clam up and that’s it,” Eddie says.

Steve levels him with a look of disbelief. “So– what, you want me to yell at you? You want me to tell you that you’re wrong?”

“I want–” Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a second to gather his thoughts. “I want you to feel like you’re allowed to argue with me. I don’t want you to just give in and then resent me or something.”

“I don’t resent you, Eddie,” Steve says with a roll of his eyes.

“No?” Eddie pushes. “How many times have we gone to bed after an argument with me perfectly satisfied, thinking I’ve won, while you’re actually still mad at me?”

“That’s– I don’t…” Steve shifts uncomfortably. “If I’m still mad, that’s my problem. I can just get over it.”

“But that’s exactly what I mean!” Eddie insists. “That shit builds up! And besides, what if you’re the one who’s really right? I might actually be wrong, and you should tell me. Or maybe there’s some kind of, like, compromise we can reach, I don’t know! I don’t want you to be afraid to push back – I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Steve says, jaw jutting out stubbornly when Eddie fixes him with a considering look. “I’m not. I’m just– how long before yelling turns into a screaming match? How long before it turns into throwing shit around, or– or shoving each other, or worse?”

“Steve…” Eddie murmurs, the last of his heated frustration draining away, leaving a clammy kind of dismay in its place. “Steve, I would never do any of those things to you.”

“I know,” Steve says, and it sounds like he means it. “I know that. But what if I–”

“No,” Eddie says firmly, because he thinks he understands now – Steve isn’t afraid of him, he’s afraid of himself. Afraid of turning into everything he’d been raised around: the blowout arguments between his parents, his mom’s petty destruction of his dad’s things, his dad’s frustration turned back on Steve, a cycle of violent familial bullshit that Steve is determined to break free from, even if it means saying that he’s wrong every time. Eddie comes forward, grabbing Steve’s hands; he can’t even remember what they’d been arguing about moments before, but he knows he doesn’t care anymore. “You would never do that. I know you, Steve, you are nothing like that.”

Steve looks down at their joined hands, blinking rapidly. “This– you… You’re more important than winning. Than any stupid argument,” he says.

“That’s exactly why we should have stupid arguments,” Eddie says, grinning a little when that gets a choked laugh out of Steve. “I’m serious. Let’s have stupid, petty arguments so they don’t turn into big ones. I swear I’m not going to stay mad if you get on my ass about not doing the dishes.”

Slowly, Steve nods. He doesn’t entirely look like he believes Eddie, but that’s fine. It’s always been like this – Steve unwilling (or unable) to believe that someone will love him if he doesn’t make it easy for them. Eddie’s been breaking that down, bit by bit, and this is no different. This is no chore.

“I’ll still love you even when I’m angry. Even when you’re angry,” Eddie promises. “I just love you, full stop.”

Steve nods again, more certain this time as he looks up to meet Eddie’s eyes. “I love you, too,” he says, because he always, always says it back, which suits Eddie just fine.

He figures if they can agree on that much, every other disagreement will be a breeze.

[ginpotts]

DOCTOR WHO: THE NINTH DOCTOR ADVENTURES Big Finish Presents ✧ STAR-CROSSED ✧ 2024

[theliving-radio]

Big Brother Malleus Series

Hello! This is where I will be keeping all of the Big Brother Malleus Content!

Notice: ALL CONTENT FOR BIG BROTHER MALLEUS ARE PLATONIC ONLY! NO ROMANCE INVOLVED BETWEEN BIG BROTHER MALLEUS AND BABY SIBLING READER!

Ideas and asks~

Introduction on Big Brother Malleus

Leona discovers Baby Sibling is a Draconia

The Meaning of Big Brother: Part 1, Part 2

Baby Sibling has a Nightmare

Baby Sibling wants to be like Big Brother

Baby Sibling turns into a Baby/ Baby Sibling gets Kidnapped

How Big Brother Malleus got Baby Sibling: short answer

Clingy (and Manipulative) Baby Sibling

Baby Sibling turned into a Dragon: Part 1, Part 2

Baby Sibling Getting into a fight

Big Brother is Big Dragon

Big Brother finds a love letter for Baby Sibling

Baby Sibling Supports a different team

Malleus discovers Baby Sibling has an older brother back home.

Silly Promps-

Sick Baby Sibling

[stoat-party]

I’m rewatching the companions’ breakup/makeup dialogue like “they would not ****ing be that emotionally mature”:

Preston should give an over-rehearsed spiel and then completely withdraw. Just be 100% emotionally unavailable for in-game weeks.

Piper should be wittily avoiding her feelings (and trying to spare yours) until it’s unclear whether she’s taking this seriously at all.

Hancock should be suave but quietly paranoid you’re going to forget him and find someone whole.

Curie should be completely incapable of setting boundaries with you, and/or cry a lot.

MacCready should unfavorably compare you to his wife.

Cait should imply that she’s going to get back into drugs or worse, to see if you care enough to stop her.

Danse should be panicking and aggressive because he feels like he’s losing the only proof his life has value.

And Gage should cuss you out to convince himself he never cared that much anyway.

(This post is a joke and I could list at least 20 reasons these shouldn’t actually be in the game.)