#needle and thread. no thoughts in its head...

[patchworkcuddlebug]

We have a silly little mantra for when we're feeling dolly and we wanted to share with that one bc we thought it might find it fun :)

It's "needle and thread, no thoughts in its head" and we don't know whether we heard it from somewhere else or it just popped in our head but it's fun to think or say when this one is up front and feels like a dolly

Oh, gosh, wow, that sounds like a lot of fun...

It has a good little rhythm to it, y'know? This one can just imagine itself smiling in stillness, its mind lolling back and forth like a little metronome.

Needle and thread, no thoughts in its head.

Maybe if it had a real metronome, it wouldn't even have to worry about thoughts as simple as keeping a rhythm. It could just lie in stillness, thinking about the stitches in its mind...

This one, um, finds this very fun! Thank you for sharing!

[carnalcrows]

EVER EVER AFTER

summary: You were supposed to marry a prince, not fall into a city full of strangers, skyscrapers, and coffee machines. But getting cursed was never part of the plan—and neither was meeting a little girl whose tired, sharp-eyed father who looked at you like you were something real. Tokyo isn’t a fairytale. But maybe, if you’re lucky, it doesn’t have to be.

pairing: robert! nanami kento x giselle! male reader

content warnings: 18+, romance, fluff, angst, smut (oral + p in a), bottom male reader, transdimensional travel, poisoned fruit, found family, light swordplay, reader wears enchanted formalwear, dragon lady attack (brief) unreliable narrator (even the author is confused).

word count: 5.2k (the lack of motivation is CLEARLY visible lmao)

better viewed in dark mode

The sun rose over the hills of Andalasia—or what you had always called home. A forest made of dream-soft pastels and impossible light, where the air smelled faintly of honeysuckle and every morning began with birdsong, where deer peeked from behind trees and squirrels held sewing needles with practised grace. It was perfect. Which, to you, meant it was normal.

You twirled on the cottage balcony, robe fluttering behind you, humming a half-finished melody. Bluebirds circled your head in swooping arcs. A pair of chipmunks tugged ribbons between their teeth, and a badger attempted—unsuccessfully—to thread a button onto a coat with trembling paws.

"Almost done!" you said brightly, kneeling beside the dress form shaped from hollowed bark and stitched leaves. “Prince Gojo is going to love this. Well… maybe. I mean—I hope he loves it. It’s just our wedding, after all.”

You paused, blinking, suddenly dizzy with the thought—your wedding.

The forest rustled its approval.

Of course, you’d only just met yesterday. But he’d heard your song. You’d danced on the edge of a waterfall. And when you’d fallen into Gojo’s arms—gracefully, from a cliff, as one does—it had just felt right. That had to mean something. That had to be love.

“Right?” you asked a passing bird.

It chirped something vaguely affirming.

You sighed dreamily, collapsing onto a bed of moss as the birds fluffed the hem of your suit. “A fairytale beginning. A prince. A kiss. And a happily ever after. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

But the forest didn’t hum back the way it usually did.

There was a pause—a stillness.

Then, from the trees—

A rumble.

The birds scattered. The chipmunks dropped their thread. You sat up just in time to see a troll barrel through the glade, teeth bared, claws glinting, eyes wild.

“Okay—not part of the plan!”

You scrambled upright, tripping over a ribbon, only to be yanked backwards by the collar as vines snared your feet. “Seriously—why is it always vines—?!”

Just before the creature could swipe you in half, something silver flashed through the air. A sword. A scream. A blur of white and gold.

Prince Gojo.

He looked like he’d leapt out of a painting—shirt torn, hair somehow perfect, grinning like the chaos was part of the fun.

“Darling!” he called, catching you one-armed while slashing the troll with the other. “I missed you!”

“I saw you yesterday—”

“Too long!” Gojo laughed.

And just like that, the troll was gone.

Vanquished. Heroic. Timed perfectly to the end of a crescendoing song you didn’t realise had started.

Gojo dropped the sword, cupped your face in both hands, and beamed. “Tomorrow,” he said, “we’re getting married.”

And you—still breathless, still dizzy—could only smile and nod.

Because why wouldn’t you?

You had everything you wanted.

Didn’t you?

The next morning bloomed golden and soft. Sunlight filtered through stained-glass leaves, casting patterns on the forest floor as woodland creatures bustled in preparation. Birds carried garlands of silk, chipmunks stitched last-minute adjustments on the embroidered sash, and even the badger from before had seemingly mastered buttoning techniques overnight.

You stood before the mirror, smoothing down the front of your ceremonial robes. Soft blue and ivory, lined with hand-stitched petals, every seam kissed by your own hands. It looked exactly like something you’d imagined as a child—what your future would look like. A storybook ending written in fabric.

Your reflection smiled back. But there was a weight behind it. No doubt. Just... static. A kind of quiet you hadn’t expected.

You shook it off. Today wasn’t for wondering. Today was for joy.

Outside, trumpets rang through the glade.

“Ready?” Gojo called, already astride a white horse, grinning like he was late to his own coronation. A dove landed on his shoulder. He winked at it.

You barely had time to laugh before someone stepped into your path—a stooped woman in a cloak, half-shadowed beneath a crooked hood. Her voice was like splintered wood wrapped in silk.

“Excuse me, dearie,” she said. “A moment, before your big day.”

You paused. The animals hesitated, feathers ruffling.

“I’m in a bit of a hurry,” you said politely, taking a half-step back.

She smiled—wide, too wide—and reached into her cloak. “Just a wedding gift.”

You didn’t see the hand until it was on your chest. You didn’t feel the ground until it was gone.

The sky twisted above you. The trees blurred, then bent, then shattered into light.

You were falling.

And falling.

And—

Your body slammed into something wet and hard. Your ears rang. Lights flashed—unnatural ones, bright and red and harsh. There were no birds. No singing. No flowers. Just the sting of pavement and a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

You groaned, rolling onto your side.

Towering buildings loomed above, steel and glass swallowing the sky.

And around you, a dozen strangers in suits and jackets walked past without even blinking.

You sat up, wide-eyed, soaked and shivering.

You weren’t in Andalasia anymore.

—

You stumbled to your feet, blinking hard against the lights. They came from everywhere—flashing boxes in the sky, windows that moved, towers made of cold silver and too much glass. The air stank of smoke and iron. The ground beneath you was not grass but something hard and grey, painted with stripes and humming faintly beneath your boots like it was alive.

A giant, glowing sign buzzed somewhere overhead in a language you couldn’t read. Another flashed to life with a jingle that made no musical sense. And still, not a single soul stopped.

People brushed past you without looking. Men in black coats talking into small glowing boxes. Girls with skirts that barely covered their knees, chewing gum and laughing too loudly. A man walked by holding a bag of something fried and orange, and no one said hello. Not even the dog he dragged behind him.

You blinked up at a traffic light.

A robot voice said something you didn’t understand.

“W-what is this place?” you breathed.

No one answered.

A car honked—an angry, blaring sound that made you spin around too fast and nearly fall again. It wasn’t a carriage. There were no horses. Just metal beasts that screamed without mouths, hurtling past in streaks of black and chrome.

“This isn’t right,” you murmured. “This isn’t real.”

You looked around wildly, hoping—praying—for a patch of trees, a trail of birdsong, anything that might lead you back. But there was only noise. Towers. People moving like they couldn’t see you.

Your throat tightened. You spun in place, chest heaving.

“Hello?” you called. “Can anyone hear me? I think—I think I’m lost!”

A businessman glanced at you briefly, eyes skimming your embroidered robes and curling shoes. He shook his head and kept walking.

You swallowed. Hard.

Your hands trembled.

And for the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to sing.

Then—

“Papa, look!” a voice cried. High-pitched. Excited.

You turned.

A little girl was tugging at a man’s sleeve, pointing directly at you. She looked about six or seven, dressed in a tiny school uniform and pink sneakers. Her pigtails bobbed as she dragged her father toward you.

Her father—tall, broad-shouldered, dressed in a dark coat and tie—stopped just short of you. His expression was… tired. Mistrustful. And unreadable.

“Please,” you said, stepping forward. “I don’t know where I am. Or how I got here. But I think I’ve been cursed.”

The girl beamed. “I told you, Papa, he’s a prince!”

The man blinked.

Then sighed.

And said, flatly, “Oh, hell no.”

The man turned as if to walk away—already fishing in his coat for what looked like a phone, his jaw tight, his whole posture radiating not my problem. You scrambled after him, nearly tripping over your own hem.

“Wait—please!” you said, voice cracking. “I don’t know where this is. I was on my way to my wedding and then a hag—well, a woman, but you know—she pushed me down a well, and now everything smells like metal and why is the sky flickering—?”

“Okay.” He stopped, hands raised. “You need to calm down.”

“I am calm!” you said, not calm at all. “This is just my very composed panic voice!”

The little girl looked up at him. “Can we keep him?”

“We’re not keeping anyone,” he said, but his voice lacked conviction. He looked at you again—really looked this time. The dishevelled hair. The mud-spattered sash. The way you stood with your hands wringing in front of you, like you didn’t know what to do without a song to fill the air.

“You’re not from here,” he said slowly.

“No,” you breathed. “I’m from—” You paused. “Actually, I don’t think it exists here.”

“That makes two of us,” he muttered.

There was a long pause.

“Fine,” he said, and ran a hand down his face. “You can come with us. Just for now. Until we figure out who you are, or where you escaped from.”

You blinked. “I didn’t escape from anywhere.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

The little girl took your hand. Her fingers were warm. Grounding.

“I’m Nobara,” she said. “You’re gonna love our apartment. It has a couch. And juice.”

“That sounds…” You swallowed, trying to think of the right word. “...Comforting.”

The man sighed again, as if regretting every choice that led him to this moment.

“Kento Nanami,” he said.

You blinked up at him. “That’s a lovely name.”

“Don’t make it weird,” he replied flatly. Then turned, gesturing for you to follow.

So you did.

Because what else was there to do?

You were lost in a kingdom that didn’t believe in magic. Your prince was in another world. Your clothes were soaked. And nothing smelled like flowers anymore.

But for the first time since the fall, you felt just a little less alone.

The next morning, you tried your best to be helpful.

You folded the couch blanket into a perfect swan. You brewed tea using what you thought was a teapot—it was actually a rice cooker. You gave Nobara an elaborate forest-style braid, complete with twigs and a flower you found in the stairwell. She looked thrilled. Nanami looked... tired.

You were in the middle of sweeping the floor with a curtain rod when the doorbell rang.

Nanami opened the door and immediately tensed. The man on the other side stood tall, dressed in a tailored black coat, hair tied back with the kind of precision that said he’d never forgotten a single appointment in his life.

Suguru Geto.

He didn’t smile. “She ready?”

“She’s finishing her breakfast,” Nanami said, jaw tight.

Geto’s eyes slid past him—and landed on you.

He took in your embroidered cuffs. Your flower-pinned sash. The fact that you were still barefoot, holding a curtain rod like a staff.

There was a long pause.

“New roommate?” he asked.

“No.”

“Dating?”

“No.”

You stepped forward, cheerful. “Hello! I’m staying here until I figure out how to undo a terrible spell that may or may not have involved a cursed well and a power-hungry sorceress. Also, your daughter is delightful.”

Geto blinked.

“...Right.”

Nobara skipped into view, backpack in hand. “Dad, this is the guy who sings at the furniture.”

“Of course he is.”

Nanami handed her a lunchbox. “Back by six.”

“Don’t give me rules in front of the furniture guy,” she muttered.

Geto’s hand rested lightly on her shoulder. “Say goodbye, sweetheart.”

“Bye, magic prince,” she chirped. “Don’t turn into a tree.”

“I’ll do my best.”

The door clicked shut behind them.

Nanami stared at it for a long beat.

“Your co-parenting seems… tense,” you offered.

“I’m going to lie down on the floor.”

“That’s fair.”

⋆｡°✩

Down in the subway, Toji checked the note pinned to the inside of his jacket. A crude drawing of your face. A Tokyo address, scrawled in angry cursive.

He pulled out a polished apple, turning it slowly in his hand.

“Should’ve poisoned the horse,” he muttered.

But he took a bite instead—just to test—and promptly spat it out.

“Ugh,” he grimaced. “Too early for this.”

Then he tucked the apple away.

And followed the scent of magic through the city.

The next few days blurred.

You tried to adjust. Truly, you did.

But Tokyo wasn’t a fairytale kingdom—it was loud and messy and fast in ways you couldn’t quite understand. The birds didn’t sing back. The mice refused to sew. And your songs, no matter how sweetly sung, only earned you startled stares and someone in a bear costume handing you a flyer for a karaoke bar.

Nobara took it all in stride. She made you a “Do Not Pet the Pigeons” sign after you got pecked in Ueno Park. She showed you how to use a vending machine. She explained what an elevator was only after you had screamed.

Nanami… tolerated you.

Most of the time.

He scowled when you rearranged the bookshelf into colour-coded rainbow order. He gave you a deadpan look when you introduced him to your “talking shirt” (it wasn’t talking, you just liked it). But he never made you feel stupid. Or small. Or wrong.

And sometimes—only sometimes—you caught him watching you. Like he was trying to solve something he’d forgotten how to understand.

Those were your favourite moments.

⋆｡°✩

Toji arrived on day four.

You were at the apartment alone, dancing with a mop (named Gregory) to a tune you were humming. You twirled toward the door just as the bell rang and flung it open with a smile.

The man on the other side was all shadows and scar tissue.

“Oh!” you said. “Are you a delivery—”

The world tilted.

You hit the floor hard, dazed, a sharp smell filling your nose as something was shoved under it.

“Breathe deep,” the man said, crouching beside you, voice low. “Apple extract. You’ll be out in thirty seconds.”

You blinked. “Is that supposed to be threatening?”

“I mean…” He hesitated. “Yeah?”

“Oh.” You frowned. “It just smells like cinnamon.”

He blinked back at you.

You both stared.

“…Are you immune to poison?” he asked.

“No, just—very good at holding my breath.”

Toji groaned. “Of course you are.”

You scrambled backwards across the tatami mat, brandishing Gregory like a sword. “Are you a bandit? An assassin? A disgruntled pastry chef?”

“I’m your fate.”

“That’s very dramatic.”

Toji lunged—and was immediately tackled to the ground by an eleven-year-old with a bag full of textbooks.

“GET AWAY FROM MY GUEST!” Nobara screamed, absolutely feral.

Toji wheezed. “What the hell—”

Nanami arrived thirty seconds later, briefcase in one hand, tie askew.

He took one look at the scene—Toji pinned to the floor, Nobara biting his sleeve, you holding Gregory like a knight in training—and sighed so hard you could feel it in your bones.

“I don’t even want to know,” he muttered.

Then calmly tasered Toji.

You never loved anyone more.

Toji hit the floor with a grunt, the taser still humming in Nanami’s hand like the ending chord of a very satisfying song. Nobara stood over him triumphantly, arms crossed, one knee planted on his back like a gladiator claiming her kill.

“That’s what you get for sneaking up on a magical prince,” she said, breathless but proud.

“I’m not sneaking,” Toji groaned, dazed. “I rang the doorbell. I had manners.”

Nanami sighed and stepped over the fallen assassin, loosening his tie. “I told you,” he said, eyes on you, “don’t open the door for anyone.”

“I thought he was delivering something!” you said, indignant. “He looked vaguely gift-shaped!”

“He had a knife.”

“It was sheathed!”

Toji coughed. “You guys are the weirdest hostage situation I’ve ever seen.”

Nanami turned to him. “You’re going to explain everything. In detail. And if the words ‘poisoned apple’ come up again, I swear to god—”

Toji lifted his hands weakly. “Alright, alright. Let me sit up first. Your daughter’s kneecap is in my kidney.”

“She’s not my daughter,” Nanami muttered.

“Rude,” Nobara said.

⋆｡°✩

After Toji was zip-tied to a dining chair (you were very proud of that knot, by the way), he admitted to working for “a certain powerful woman”—which, with a little pressing, turned into “Queen Meimei,” which then quickly turned into “look, I just do what I’m paid for, alright?”

“She sent you to kill me,” you said, arms folded, standing like judgment incarnate in your mismatched pyjamas.

“I mean, she said gently assassinate, but yeah.”

Nanami looked at him, stone-faced. “That’s not a real phrase.”

Toji gave him a lopsided grin. “It is in my line of work.”

“And where did you even get these apples?” Nobara asked, sniffing one suspiciously. “They look like they’ve been dipped in nail polish.”

Toji groaned and leaned back in the chair. “Look, I just need the guy to go back through the magic well, and everything’s fine. No more apples. No more death. No more me being choked out by an eleven-year-old.”

“Ten and a half,” Nobara corrected.

“I stand corrected.”

You tilted your head. “So... you’re not evil. You’re just... working retail for witches?”

Toji blinked. “Honestly? Yeah.”

Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is insane.”

You smiled widely. “But at least now we know I am cursed! Which means if we find the well again, I can return to Andalasia and marry Saturo—Gojo. Prince Gojo.”

And just like that, the room went silent.

You didn’t notice. You were already dreaming aloud again, pacing slowly, hands gesturing at nothing. “He must be worried sick. I hope he’s okay. He’s probably searching every corner of this strange kingdom for me as we speak—”

⋆｡°✩

Gojo sneezed into a Tokyo metro map, upside-down, perched on top of a garbage truck.

“Megumi,” he muttered, “I think we’re lost again.”

The chipmunk on his shoulder did not answer.

Nanami didn’t say anything.

He just turned, walked into the kitchen, and opened the fridge with slightly more force than necessary. The door creaked like it was used to this. Like it had seen one too many magical princes show up in silk pants, talking about true love.

You stood frozen in the centre of the room, suddenly aware of how quiet it had gotten.

Toji raised a brow from the dining chair. “So. That’s awkward.”

Nobara leaned against the wall, chewing her rice cracker. “He’s jealous.”

“What?” you blinked. “Jealous of Gojo?”

She nodded sagely. “Mmhmm.”

Toji chuckled. “Yeah, buddy. He is so in love with you.”

“I—he’s not—” You faltered. “He barely even likes me.”

“He let you reorganise his bookshelf,” Nobara said.

“He cooked for you,” Toji added.

“He let you stay on the good couch.”

You blinked. “There’s a bad couch?”

Toji pointed. “You’re sitting on it.”

“Oh.”

You turned slowly, looking toward the kitchen. Nanami was still there, still pretending not to listen, still staring into the fridge like he expected it to give him emotional clarity.

You bit your lip.

“I didn’t mean to make things weird,” you said quietly.

Toji rolled his eyes. “You’re a singing forest prince. Things have been weird since you showed up.”

Nobara nodded solemnly. “He needs a push.”

“A gentle push,” you emphasised. “Not—”

She was already gone.

You heard her in the kitchen.

“Hey, Nanamin,” she said sweetly. “You still into emotionally repressed denial, or should I start calling him Dad?”

Nanami choked on his water.

You sank into the couch. “I’m going to die here.”

⋆｡°✩

Meanwhile, across the city, Gojo had decided that the best way to find you was to sing louder.

He stood on top of a moving float in a parade he was not invited to, throwing roses and belting ballads while Megumi tried to chew through his robe in protest.

“Where is my prince, so noble and kind—”

A child threw a soda at him.

“Rude,” he muttered. Somewhere above, a crow perched on a lamppost and cawed once, low and warning.

Back in her suite, Meimei tapped a finger to her wineglass and smiled slowly.

It was time for her to take matters into her own hands.

You stood by the window after dinner, watching the lights of the city flicker like stars fallen to earth. There was a moment, quiet and small, where it hit you all at once. The strangeness. The softness. The fact that you hadn’t sung in days and didn’t miss it like you thought you would.

Behind you, Nanami moved through the kitchen like a man on autopilot. Cleaning a plate. Drying a cup. Never looking directly at you.

“I didn’t mean to make things difficult,” you said, breaking the silence. “With Gojo. With everything.”

Nanami paused. His reflection met yours in the window, faint and ghostlike.

“You didn’t,” he said. “You just reminded me that... I used to believe in love, once.”

You turned. “You still do. You just don’t want to.”

He leaned against the counter. “Maybe.”

There was a beat.

Then—

“Are you going back to him?”

The question caught you off guard.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I was so sure, before. But now… there’s something about this world. It’s messy and loud and everything hurts more, but it’s also real. And honest. And—”

You looked at him.

He was already looking at you.

“I think I’d miss this,” you whispered. “You.”

The air thickened between you. You took a step forward. So did he.

And then—

“Formal invitation,” Nobara announced from the hallway, holding a sparkly gold envelope. “From Geto’s weird rich cousin. You’re all invited to a ball tomorrow night.”

You stared at her.

Nanami groaned.

“I already picked your outfits,” she added.

Of course she did.

⋆｡°✩

The next evening arrived faster than you expected.

The ballroom shimmered in warm gold and marble. The floor was polished to a mirror shine, reflecting the chandeliers like upside-down constellations. You stepped inside in a suit that Nobara had helped tailor herself, complete with lace cuffs and a soft lavender ribbon at your collar. You hadn’t seen Kento yet, and your chest ached with how badly you wanted to.

Then he appeared.

Dark vest, gold trim, hair swept just slightly off his brow. He looked uncomfortable and perfectly composed. But when he saw you, really saw you, something softened around his eyes.

“Wow,” you breathed.

He stepped closer. “Likewise.”

There was music, low and elegant.

He offered you his hand.

And when you took it, the world fell away.

You danced like you’d known each other forever. Quiet steps. A shared rhythm. A warmth you didn’t know how to carry in words. His hand on your back. Yours at his shoulder. Eyes never leaving one another’s.

When the final note faded, he didn’t let go.

And when he walked you home through the quiet streets—through alleys lit by vending machines and the distant hum of traffic—you didn’t want to say goodbye.

So you didn’t.

You took his hand.

Led him upstairs.

And kissed him like it was the only magic you still believed in.

⋆｡°✩

He led you to the bedroom like he was afraid the spell might break. The city lights spilled in through the blinds in fractured gold, brushing along your skin when he pushed your jacket from your shoulders, slow and careful. When you reached for him, it was with both hands and everything you hadn’t said all evening.

He was warm beneath your touch. Real. No prince. No fantasy. Just him.

And you wanted him more than you’d ever wanted a fairy tale.

He kissed you as if he meant to remember every sound you made. His mouth moved slowly along your jaw, your collarbone, down the centre of your chest—each touch deliberate, tender. His hands never rushed. He made room for you to gasp, to pause, to smile between breaths. He only moved closer when you pulled him in.

“You’re beautiful,” you whispered.

He touched your face like he wanted to say something back, but just couldn’t.

⋆｡°✩

Clothes slipped away quietly. The warmth between you built in slow waves—hands gliding over skin, mouths tracing every curve, breath curling soft and shaky in the quiet.

It was not hurried. It was not practised.

It just was.

Every sigh from you drew one from him. Every time you reached for him, he was already there. When he finally pressed against you fully, it wasn’t about lust—it was something deeper. A need to feel known. To be held in a way that felt like truth.

You trembled. He kissed you through it. Moved slowly. Anchored you.

The rhythm you found was soft. Gentle. Like music made without notes. It built in heat, not force. In need, not hunger. Until the world narrowed to just breath and skin and the steady echo of your name on his lips.

You let go with your head tilted back and your heart aching with how much you felt. He followed, arms wrapped around you like he didn’t want to let go. As if he were terrified you’d vanish if he blinked.

⋆｡°✩

Later, the two of you lay tangled in quiet.

His fingers trailed absent-minded patterns against your spine. You watched the light move across the ceiling and listened to the city outside. For the first time in your life, you didn’t wonder if this was a dream.

You knew it was real.

And that, somehow, was even better.

The morning came softly.

You woke with Nanami’s arm still draped across your waist, his breath warm against the back of your neck. The light through the curtains was a pale gold, gentle, hesitant. The kind of morning that didn’t rush you.

You didn’t move at first.

Not because you were afraid—but because you didn’t want to disturb what felt, impossibly, like peace.

When you did shift, just slightly, his grip tightened. A subtle, instinctive pull that made your chest ache in the best way.

You turned to face him.

He blinked once, slowly, then smiled the smallest, softest smile you’d ever seen on him. No walls. No filters. Just… him.

“Good morning,” you whispered.

He answered with a kiss, quiet and unhurried, like a secret passed between you.

For a few minutes, there was nothing but the rustle of sheets, the hush of breath, and the way his hand never left yours.

Until the doorbell rang. You both froze.

Nanami groaned. “Tell me that’s not your enchanted raccoon again.”

You laughed. “Megumi is a chipmunk.”

“Not better.”

You pulled on your robe as Nanami padded to the door. He opened it—

And found Toji standing on the other side, holding out a glinting red apple in the palm of his hand.

“I come bearing brunch,” Toji said. “Very specific brunch.”

Nanami frowned. “You’re supposed to be in jail.”

“I was bored.”

You stepped into the hall, hair tousled, smile still warm from sleep. “Oh! Good morning—”

“Don’t eat that,” Nanami cut in, pointing at the apple. “That’s definitely cursed.”

Toji looked wounded. “What, just because it’s glossy and red and I’m a former assassin working for a magic sociopath? Wow. Judgmental.”

You squinted at it. “Is it poisoned?”

Toji hesitated. “Maybe just a little.”

Nanami reached for the taser.

Toji backed up. “I didn’t give it to him yet! Geez. No appreciation for dramatic timing.”

⋆｡°✩

But later that evening, after laughter, after tea, after something that felt dangerously close to happiness, you stepped into the kitchen alone.

The apartment was quiet. Nanami was brushing his teeth. Nobara had passed out face-first on the couch.

And there, sitting in the fruit bowl like it belonged, was the apple.

Red. Shiny. Smelling faintly of roses and honey.

You stared at it. A whisper trailed through your thoughts.

Forget him.

Forget all of this.

One bite—and it all goes back to the way it was. The ball. The prince. The perfect fairytale ending.

You reached out. Touched the apple’s skin.

And just as your fingertips curled around it, A voice behind you said, silk-smooth and evil:

“I knew you’d choose the story over the ending.”

You turned.

Meimei stood in the doorway, all dark velvet and cold eyes.

And in that moment, you knew.

This wasn’t over.

You stepped back instinctively.

The apple clattered to the floor, rolling a few inches before coming to a stop, glinting under the overhead light like something out of a dream you no longer trusted.

Meimei smiled, slow and catlike. She looked impossibly at ease, standing in Nanami’s kitchen like she owned it. Not a wrinkle in her dress, not a hair out of place. Like she hadn’t crossed dimensions to murder you.

“Not quite the fairy tale you imagined, is it?” she said. “Too loud. Too grey. Too human.”

Your hand hovered behind you, searching for the counter. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Her eyes gleamed. “Neither should you.”

Nanami’s voice rang from down the hall. “Everything okay?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but Meimei was already moving.

Her hand struck with blinding speed, a push like wind and stone. The world lurched. You slammed back into the cabinet with enough force to knock the breath from your lungs.

“You should’ve stayed in the story,” she said. “Married your prince. Let me keep my crown.”

Your vision blurred. You tried to speak—call out, cry for Nanami—but the words got lost between your heartbeat and the copper taste in your mouth.

Meimei knelt beside you, lifted the fallen apple with two fingers.

“Don’t worry,” she said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “It’s painless. Mostly. And after midnight, no one will remember you anyway.”

You reached for her wrist.

She offered the apple.

You hesitated.

And that was all she needed.

She pressed it to your lips—gentle, deceptively so—and the moment your teeth sank in, the world tipped sideways.

The floor vanished.

Your limbs went cold.

And then everything went black.

⋆｡°✩

Nanami found you less than a minute later.

The apple was split open on the tile. Your body lay crumpled against the cabinets, motionless. Too still.

For a second—just one—he couldn’t move.

Then he was at your side. Kneeling. Shaking your shoulders. Repeating your name over and over like it was a prayer he was too late to make.

Your eyes didn’t open.

Your chest didn’t rise.

Nobara screamed from the living room. Toji cursed. Someone called Geto. But all Nanami could do was hold you—arms wrapped tight around your limp frame—while the clock on the wall ticked closer to midnight.

And nothing happened.

⋆｡°✩

They gathered at the ball.

Meimei, radiant and smug, stood on the highest balcony like a queen crowned by cruelty. Gojo arrived too late. Nobara cried so hard her nose bled.

And Nanami—quiet, steady, breaking in the worst way—pressed one final kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” he whispered, broken.

And just as the clock struck twelve—

You breathed.

Your fingers curled in his lapel.

And your eyes opened.

⋆｡°✩

Meimei screamed.

She transformed—claws, wings, teeth. A dragon in heels. She lunged for Nanami. For you.

And you, in your borrowed suit and bare feet and messy hair, picked up the nearest decorative sword and ran.

You climbed, ducked, and dodged. She followed. Fire at your heels. Wind at your back.

On the rooftop, it ended.

One wrong step. One well-timed slip.

She fell.

And you watched as the last petal of the old story turned to ash on the breeze.

⋆｡°✩

The next morning was warm.

Gojo returned to Andalasia. Geto stayed behind, promising to stop being dramatic about joint custody. Toji left Tokyo with a train ticket and a new appreciation for tasers.

You opened a small fashion studio.

And Nanami?

He stood beside you, hand in yours, watching Nobara chase pigeons down the street.

“Are you really staying?” he asked.

You looked at him.

Smiled.

“I already am.”

© carnalcrows on tumblr. Please do not steal my works as I spend time, and I take genuine effort to do them.

Taglist: @zolass @edensrose @tamias-wrld @ilovesugurugeto69 @planetxella @mazettns @longlivegojo @midnight-138 @literallyrousseau @vimademedoitt @useless-n-clueless @flatl1n3 @hikaurbae @lexkou @razefxylorf @abrielletargaryen @coco-145 @eagleeyedbitch @deathofacupid @gayaristocrat @porcalinecunt @whatsaheartxx @thecringes2000 @sageofspades @g4vcat @itsrandompersonyall @blvdprn @blueemochii @sappychat @onyxxxxqq @axetivev @s1llygo0s3 @crazydirectioner2000-blog @thestarsallowed @honey-valentin3 @academiq @gaozorous-rex-blog @idkmissgurl @sooniebby @seomn

[bluemotifofsleep]

The tongue piercing of unimaginable joy |

Sukuna x Fem! Reader

Inspired by the delicious fan art above by @/hunnismokah!!!

MDNI

Content: piercer! Reader, sukuna is a freak, inappropriate use of a stomach mouth, needles, making out with sukuna’s stomach, face sitting (kind of?), oral f. receiving, p i v, doggy style, creampie

A/N: finally got it done after like three weeks. this is absolutely freaked right out to the max. Enjoy🫶🏻

As a piercer, you’ve seen a lot of freaky shit. Some scary shit, honestly.

Rejected and angry piercings of all kinds, insane requests for you to poke holes in body parts that shouldn’t be named. You’ve seen people faint and vomit. You’ve seen blood, pus, and other bodily fluids.

You’ve quite literally seen it all.

Or- well, you thought you had.

Your whole world tilted on its axis on what started as a relatively normal day.

The sun was shining through the shop windows, and some soothing music played through a small speaker on your station desk. Nobody had passed out yet, and you had an appointment for a midline tongue piercing later, something you’d done a hundred times.

Easy.

Then, he showed up. Tattoos all over his body- wide, dark bands that marked his thick muscles, and a general air about him that said “don’t fuck with me if you want to keep all of your teeth”. Your immediate thought was that a tongue piercing would look good on him.

Too good, maybe.

Now imagine your surprise, when he caught you staring at his tongue while he spoke, said “not that tongue, stupid.” and lifted his shirt to reveal a second mouth with- you guessed it, a second tongue. It flopped out comically and waved at you through sharp canines as if to say “down here, dummy!”

So, yes, the day started off normally. But it ended with you crouching in front of a very toned abdomen, gripping a flexing, wide tongue with P-clamps, trying desperately to avoid eye contact with its owner.

The situation was bizarre enough, but the added stress of the simple fact that he was objectively an extremely hot man creeped up your spine like wildfire, leaving your cheeks hot. You were made aware, too aware of the strong thighs clad only in adidas shorts while fit snugly between them, watching the muscle flex while he shifted his legs wider around you. And you were definitely made aware of the bulging abs you kept accidentally making eye contact with, slopes of muscle that had you unconsciously clenching your thighs together.

You just wanted to get this weird- and strangely, inappropriately arousing ass situation over with. It was the last appointment of the day, and all the other piercers were already cleaning and packing up, heading out the front door to leave you with this strange, sexy monster you couldn’t figure out if you were scared of or insanely attracted to.

Probably both.

You grabbed the sterilized 14 gauge needle, told him to take in a deep breath (he ignored you in favour of staring intently at your face like he was trying to explode you with his mind) and slid it through the anomaly of a tongue.

He hadn’t even flinched- not a breath, not a blink. Just stared at you in that searching way, like he was peeling back layers of you and making himself cozy under your skin- like he belonged there.

“I was told they were pleasurable.” He grunted down at you in a voice that did strange things to your thoughts while you slipped the silver jewelry inside.

You squinted up at him, unconsciously eyeing the beautiful way his features were put together, confused at his words.

“Tongue piercings.” He clarified, almost exasperated like you should have figured it out already, like you instantly should have caught the direction the conversation was going in.

You paused while screwing the threaded end on, eyes flickering back upwards to meet red ones. “Pleasurable?” The questioned slipped out while you tried to ignore the drool dripping down your gloved hand.

Tried.

Was he some kind of masochist? getting off from the pain of a needle going through his tongue? He didn’t really look like the type. Honestly, he sort of looked like the opposite of a masochist-

“For the receiver.” He bluntly cut off your unprofessional train of thought, but unfortunately led you down an even darker alleyway of sinful visualizations.

Oh.

For the receiver.

You stared at him after you’d finished inserting the jewelry, your gloved hands lying limply at your sides. You didn’t instantly move to get up, and he grinned down at you like the sight of his teeth alone could swallow you whole.

You cleared your throat, maybe trying to break whatever spell was being cast between you, before finally moving back from the overwhelming heat of his body to fiddle with the tools at your station.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Guess I’ve heard that.” But he stayed seated, eyeing you like you were a snack he wanted to feed to his stomach mouth for easy digestion.

“So you’ve tried it.” It wasn’t a question, more of an angry statement while he stared at you like there was a magnetic pull from his eyes to your body.

What was this guys fucking deal?

You raised a brow, flicking your tongue over the roof of your mouth to confirm you didn’t have a polished piece of metal there. “Uh, I don’t have a-“

“I was talking about being on the receiving end, dumbass.” The parchment crinkled under him when he stood from the bench, stalking forward to crowd you against your desk.

Your brain stalled.

He was asking if you’ve ever been eaten out with a tongue piercing.

Right…

“I- uh…” you stared dumbly up at him, suddenly all too aware of the dwindling inches between you- all too aware of his red eyes that set every inch of you on fire, that were flickering up and down like he was sizing you up.

For some reason, you were afraid to tell the truth. Afraid of what this failed science experiment turned extremely hot man was going to take from it- take from you.

But his prying gaze was too much, and it forced out a tiny “no” from your clenched teeth.

He seemed to like that answer, judging by his wolfish grin and the way he dragged a big hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trailing his fingers down your neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Good.” He hummed. “I’ll let you be the first to try it out then.”

Any normal, respectable piercer would have scoffed and shoved him out the door. You, however, were clearly not one, because instead of saying no, you whispered out “you need to let the piercing heal for five weeks first.” hurriedly like it would shield you from him and the things his presence was doing to your body.

And, of course, Sukuna just smirked like he’d won a million dollars. “See you in five weeks, then.”

And then he was gone, the shop bell jingling with his exit. You had stood there, a strange intoxicating concoction of fear and arousal swirling in your lower stomach while your heart pounded away in your chest like you’d just narrowly escaped a bear attack.

You hadn’t expected to ever see him again.

Now, imagine your surprise when exactly five weeks after your appointment you spot a large, tattooed, unmistakable form standing at the bar while you’re out for some drinks with a couple of piercer friends.

“Oh my god, is that him??? Mr. stomach mouth? Wow, he really is hot. Like, smoking. Like, I’d let him ruin my life hot.”

While your friend Mia was a great piercer, unfortunately she was really bad at keeping her mouth shut. And, unfortunately, she was already several drinks in. Enough to squash her volume control into nothing.

Sukuna’s head whips around to your table like a shark that just smelled blood in the water.

You barely contain a gasp when his heated eyes land on you, drinking you up like you’d just been served over the bar counter for him.

“Oh my god, he’s totally coming over here! Dude, he looks like he’s going to-“

“- shutupshutupshutup- oh, uh- hey! Long time no see.” Your smile wobbles when your eyes drag up his large frame, noting the way his shirt hugs the abs that you were already eerily familiar with.

Jesus, did he somehow get bigger from last time?

Sukuna peers down his nose at you like you’re gum he’s trying to peel off the table. “I need you to check if my piercing is healed.”

Wow, okay. Has he ever heard of the word hello?Are pleasantries a foreign concept to him, just like getting a shirt that isn’t two sizes too small seems to be?

Your friends cast bewildered glances at you, like you have any explanation for why this freakshow of a man was so damn strange. “I’ll- uh… need to wash my hands first.”

He just grunts and follows you like a dog when you head to the washroom, into the single stall and locking the door behind you two.

You- admittedly stupidly- don’t protest because, well, it would probably be better to do it in private without people gazing at you like you’re inspecting a gaping hole in his stomach.

That might raise some unwanted questions.

You wash your hands intricately, making sure to get every crevice a germ could possibly be hiding in, for health and safety reasons. Sukuna glares a hole in your back, tapping his foot impatiently like he’s never heard of health and safety in his goddamn life.

“Jesus, are you scrubbing in for surgery? Hurry the fuck up.”

You sigh and turn the tap off with your elbow, drying your hands on a paper towel before approaching him, cautiously. “You don’t want it to get infected, right?” He grumbles, peeling his shirt up to give you access to the bizarre piece of him you unfortunately hadn’t hallucinated.

Like it had a mind of its own, it grins at you sharply before opening wide. Sharp, white canines split to frame his pink tongue, nesting the metal ball you’d placed there weeks ago.

You notice then, acutely, that it does not drop its tongue out for you.

With a jostling shiver, you come to the dazzling conclusion that you really, really don’t want to stick your fingers in there.

Sharply, accusingly, you glare up at him. “Are you going to bite my fingers off?”

he just rolls his red eyes like he doesn’t look like the type. “If I wanted to bite your fingers off, I would have done it already.”

Alright… that doesn’t really help you feel any better, but whatever.

With a deep breath, you power on, hesitantly sticking your thumb and pointer in between too-large canines that you’re trying not to look at.

He sighs when you grab the muscle gently, and you can’t tell if it’s a happy sound or not. But you slowly drag the slick muscle out anyways- eager to free yourself from his wide jaws that look like they have the same psi as a pit bull.

Looking for any signs of irritation, you eye the smooth ball of metal in the centre of his large tongue, watching as saliva pools in the centre. There’s no redness, pus, or blood.

The tongue wiggles in your hold, as if trying to pull you in closer. You shudder.

“Well, doc? What do you think?” You ignore the jab at your earlier hand washing with an eye roll, taking one last lingering look at the metal.

“Looks healed to me.”

Just as you’re about to pull away, a big hand lands on the back of your head, keeping you in place right in front of his stomach mouth.

Your back is hunched uncomfortably like this, and as much as you don’t want to kneel on the grimy bathroom floor, your knees are forced to hit the tile with a thud anyways. Your hands fly out to his thighs to stabilize yourself, accidentally squeezing at the hard muscle there.

“Prove it.”

You squint up at him through the flickering bathroom light, wondering if maybe he’s lost his goddamn mind. (Though you’re starting to suspect he never had it in the first place. Guy with the stomach mouth? Huh, who would have thought).

“What? how?” The fabric of your pants shuffle in the silence from the way you rub your thighs together, because this scene was starting to do some very, very naughty things to your brain. Who can blame you, when he glares down at you like that, when his hand shuffles in your hair and his nails scrape against your scalp.

“Prove it’s healed, with your tongue.” He grunts out, and you almost think your knees are going to give out underneath you.

Prove it’s healed. With your tongue.

Makeout with his stomach.

He doesn’t really give you time to process or make any sort of decision, because he drags your head forward- gently, and shoves you into his second mouth.

It’s… odd. Not in an entirely unpleasant way, but it’s definitely different. Especially when a too-big tongue slides into your mouth, nearly filling it, licking along your gums and sliding between your teeth like it owned the damn place.

When you feel the telltale hot metal ball running over your own tongue though, sliding pointedly along the nerves there, your head spins and your thighs shake. You lost in it, running your tongue over the crevice of the piercing and moaning when his tongue pushes in further. Almost forgetting what you’re even there for, until he drags you away from his mouth.

The world spins, the mouth-watering abs in front of you coming into focus until he uses his grip on your hair to tilt your head back to look him in his eyes.

“so?” You might be imagining it, but his voice sounds deeper, rougher than before.

all you can reply is a breathless “huh?”

“Is. it. healed.” He somehow always manages to make questions sound like threats, and it makes your eyes widen, thighs grip each other tighter.

“I- uh- yeah. It’s healed.” His eyes darken then, into something sharp and promising, and he reaches down to grab you under the elbows like a stray cat, setting you down on two unsteady feet.

“Great. Let’s not waste any more time then.” He ushers you out of the stall bathroom like his stomach hadn’t just kissed you stupid, like you had any idea at all of where you were headed.

“Uh- okay.”

He certainly wastes no time getting out of the bar, barely giving you a chance to wave goodbye to your smirking friends before dragging you out into the cool street, over to the parking lot where he ushers you in to the passenger side of what you assume (hope) is his car.

Despite every self defence and women’s safety book you’ve ever read, your guardian angel cringes when you let him shut the door, buckling yourself in while you watch him get in the drivers side.

“So, where are we going, exactly?”

Sukuna seems to be getting tired of how slow you are on the uptake, an angry tick forming in his brow. “Back to mine, obviously.” He grumbles.

“Why the fuck would that be obvious?”

“I already told you, that you’re going to be the first to try out my piercing. Now shut up and sit tight.”

Normally, you would squawk back after someone told you to shut up- especially a man. but you’re too busy hanging onto the first part of his sentence to really fight back all that much.

With a jolt to your stomach, your mind reels back to that conversation you had all those weeks ago, when sukuna promised to eat you out with his brand new tongue piercing once it was healed.

And now, it’s healed.

Before you know it, he’s pulling up to an unfamiliar apartment building in a well-off neighbourhood, practically dragging you out of the car while you barely manage to get your seatbelt off.

During the elevator ride up to his apartment, he makes sure to get you familiar with his face mouth, too. Kissing you silly against the ugly wallpaper and groping at anything he can reach until you mewl into his mouth.

You know now that both mouths are greedy, both tongues slide against your own like they’ve got something to prove, like they’re telling you what else they can do.

When the elevator dings, you squeal as your view tilts and he lifts you into his shoulder like a wriggling sack of potatoes, fisting the back of his shirt in panic. He has one hand gripping the back of your thigh while he makes his way to his apartment, dangerously close to where you know you’re dripping wet for him, and you squeeze your eyes shut as blood rushes to your head, heating your cheeks red-hot.

You half expect him to bang your head on his doorway in his haste, but you’re pleasantly surprised when he carefully steps through, probably deciding to leave all the brain damage for when he’s fucking you stupid.

you certainly won’t complain about that.

You do squawk in protest when he drops you from his shoulder onto his mattress, though. But quickly forget about it when he climbs over you, placing two possessive hands on either side of your head.

“Been waiting to do this forever.” And like he has absolutely no patience left in his system, he tears off your shirt like it just flipped him off, giving the same rough treatment to your pants, taking your underwear along with them while he’s at it.

“It was just five- ah! w-weeks.” His sheets are soft under your head when it tilts back in pleasure, a moan ripping from your throat while he sucks a dark bruise into the curve of your neck.

“Felt like five fucking months.”

For a guy who seemed oh so impatient to get you here, he spends an awfully long amount of time marking your throat, dragging his teeth down to suck a nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling around the sensitive skin.

You squirm under him, back arching up into his greedy mouth, unconsciously grinding down against his thigh in between your legs, moaning at the friction while he smirks into your chest.

“Desperate little thing, aren’t you?” He pulls back from you to tare his shirt off, staring at the ruined look on your face, eyeing the way your hips squirm in search of any friction he’ll allow.

You huff, ready to argue that he was the one who dragged you from the bar and was definitely the only desperate one here. but like he sensed you were about to disagree, his grip on your waist turns to steel and he flips the two of you around, setting you down on his lower stomach.

Right in front of his … friend, who was grinning at you like it knew what was coming.

Sukuna grinds his hips upwards, jostling you forward and making you catch yourself on his chest, hands instantly gripping the thick muscle there greedily.

“C’mon, brat, sit-“ he uses his grip on your waist to drag you forward those few extra inches, right over top of his second mouth, instantly pressing you down, hard.

The first broad, wet swipe has you keening, your hips instinctively jerking back at the overwhelming pleasure but sukuna holds you steady.

It’s odd- he has full view of your face like this, he can stare at the way your eyes squeeze shut, the way your mouth drops open in a moan while his other mouth does all the work. He doesn’t have to split his attention, and it makes you feel all the more exposed. He can watch every single reaction- can calculate exactly how good he’s making you feel.

Does this count as face sitting or ab riding? Can it be both? How many unspoken rules are you breaking here, exactly?

All thoughts are jolted from your head when you feel it- that little ball of metal. An addition to his tongue that honestly should be illegal with the way it allows him to pinpoint your clit, circling around while your arms give out underneath you, crushing you against Sukuna’s broad chest while you moan into his neck.

“Mmh, does that feel good?” His breath is hot against your ear, his teasing tone shooting straight down your spine and into your pussy.

All you can do is moan in response, hips twitching forward and back- unsure of whether to run away or towards the blinding pleasure, but his iron grip gives no leeway.

You can feel the moment he doubles down, the curl of his tongue against you turning mean, all malicious intent behind every swirl. And you swiftly realize that you severely underestimated the control he has over his second tongue, because the way he flicks the piercing against you feels damn near weaponized- like he’s thought about it a thousand times before.

You can feel the promise of your orgasm creeping up the base of your spine, hips starting to grind down into his wet muscle, feeling the hot metal roll against you. But it’s only when he grips a hand into your hair and tilts your head back to watch your face intently that it roars through you like a punch to the gut, choking out all the air in your lungs while your jaw drops open and hips lock up against him.

His tongue pushes you through your orgasm, right until the last aftershocks.

But then, it doesn’t stop. Even while you twitch in overstimulation, your eyes widening in panic.

“W-wait! I can’t-“ he just grips your twitching hips harder against him, dragging his tongue down to your entrance to push inside while you groan at the stretch.

“Can’t what, brat?” You’re trying to listen to his words, but the curl of his tongue inside you has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “You made me wait five whole weeks and you’re only going to give me one? Fuck, no.”

And just like that, he’s fucking you with his studded tongue until you’re moaning brokenly, gripping a hand into his pink hair while he groans at the feeling of you clenching down on him.

Impossibly, the second orgasm is even sharper, more intense than the first. It sears through you like wildfire until you lay boneless on top of him, and only then does he stop.

- only to flip you back over underneath him, grinning at the whine that falls from your lips when he frees his throbbing dick to rub it against your clit, circling down to tease your entrance.

“Think you’re ready for me, sweetheart?” He doesn’t even give you a chance to say yes before he’s pushing in that first inch, stretching you out until your head presses back and your jaw drops open, unable to make a sound at the overwhelming stretch.

He groans- something deep and guttural as his hips twitch forward like they want to slam home all in one. He hesitates though, just barely. Probably conscious of the fact that his dick is a monster and would split you open in one go. So he slowly grinds into you instead, giving you time to adjust, time to feel every vein rub against your walls. Spreading you in slow thrusts until he’s bumping against your cervix.

You pant into the air between you, meeting his heated gaze with your own, watching the way his eyes flick from where the two of you are connected and back up to your face.

The restraint on his features is clear, along with the iron grip on your waist- and watching him struggle to keep his hips from moving sends flares of heat through you.

You don’t really mean to- it’s more of an experiment, really, when you squeeze down around him, hard. But the breath is knocked out of you when he groans deeply and drags his hips back, slamming them forward again.

He glares down at you, gripping the back of your thighs and bending forward until you’re squashed against the mattress like a bug.

“You want to play dirty, brat?”

And then he’s fucking you for real. Long, hard snaps of his strong hips that have your eyes rolling back into your head. Your moans getting caught in his mouth when he leans down and connects it to yours.

His hips are just as mean as his tongue, like they were made precisely to ruin you, genetically engineered to make you see stars, especially when he thrusts up and-

“Fuck!” All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut when he rams into your sweet spot, sending jolts of lightning through your nerves.

You can already feel it- the telltale heat creeping up your spine, just from a few snaps of his hips.

“Yeah? Right there-?“ he emphasizes the word with a precise thrust in the exact same spot like it’s a bullseye he’s aiming at, leaving your jaw hanging open with moans that you couldn’t stop if you tried. And then he does it again, and again, and again until you’re locking up underneath him, moaning his name with your orgasm.

You spasm, thighs twitching under his hands and eyes rolling back into your head at the absolute bliss that washes over you. Every sharp pound into the back of your pussy pushing you further and further.

Sukuna moans while you clench, his grip turning harder against you.

“Shit, you’re fucking- tight-” It’s almost a struggle for him to keep fucking you through it while you squeeze around him, sucking the thoughts right out of his brain. He almost cums right there- but the sheer need to feel you reach another high keeps his hips still, waiting for you to stop spasming around him like you were trying to cut off his blood flow.

You’re spent, panting up into the air, barely conscious as he pulls out and flips you onto your stomach underneath him, tilting your hips up and rubbing through your folds until you whine.

He lines himself back up, both of you groaning while he slides in.

Everything is tighter at this angle- when he bottoms out, he hits up against something devastating inside you, something that makes tears gather at your lower lash line.

Then he pulls out, and slams back in, and you’re officially fucked right out. Your arms collapse underneath you, muffling your squealed moans against his sheets, until he plants a big hand in your hair and drags you up so his breath hits the back of your neck.

“Tell me how good I’m fucking you.” He thrusts harder, faster- making you choke up, your eyes rolling back at the searing heat- fat tears rolling down your cheeks.

You don’t reply, too brainless to even process a response.

“Tell-“ one thrust. “-me.” Then another, meaner thrust, until you’re babbling-

“Yes! S-so- ah! So good! Fucking me sooo good-“ your words are choked off when he doubles down, reaching a hand around to circle your clit while he angles his hips upwards and fucks you until you cum around him, hard.

Probably the hardest you ever have.

“Fuuuuuck yes, give it to me. Keep fucking squeezing-“ the feeling of your walls around him pushes him into his own high. Thick spurts of cum hit the very back of your pussy while he groans brokenly, his chest collapsing onto you and effectively squashing you to the mattress while you both twitch.

Panting in the aftermath, you can feel him smirk against your shoulder blade, and a rush of adrenaline and fear surge through you.

“Now it’s your turn.” His words are husky, panted against you.

Huh? What could he possibly want from you now, after he fucked you completely brainless into his mattress? You couldn’t stand up right now if your fucking life depended on it.

“It’s your turn to get a tongue piercing.” His smirk turns evil against your skin. You can feel his teeth. “It’s only fair. don’t you think, brat?”

[bcksbarnes]

between a dream - chapter two

pairing: tws!bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky barnes has just found out his entire life has been a lie. that his life as the winter solider has been nothing but mind control. instead of running off after his fight with steve, he returns to the avengers tower where he trusts no one. everyone takes turn on watch, and this time it's yours.

word count: 5.1K cw: self-harm tendencies/talk

read the: previous chapter | next chapter

a/n: thank you for all the love and support on part one of this fic, it means the absolute world to me! due to popular demand, i've decided to make this a three-part series so there will be one final chapter after this!

The hellscape that was Bucky’s mind felt like absolute torture every second of every day since he was brought back to the tower and away from Hydra’s control. It felt like someone had injected venom into his veins and now, as he tried to grasp onto reality, his body and mind writhed in pain with the thoughts of what the Winter Soldier had done, what he had done. How was supposed to live with himself?

He had hurt people, killed them even, and he was supposed to find a way to adjust back to a normal life? It was an impossible task brought on by a man he barely knew. 

He tried to remember, on the days that were really tough, what you had told him about Steve. That he was just a man living in a time he wasn’t supposed to be in, with a friend he had thought he lost all those years ago. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it made him even more angry, because Bucky, too, was a man who was not supposed to be here, he was not supposed to have been made into a monster. Yet, he was.

Steve had caught Bucky one night banging his head against the concrete wall of his new room. Blood trickled down his face as his hands trembled at his sides. He just wanted it to stop. The voices. The screaming. The cries. The flashbacks. Everything. All of it.

“Jeez, Buck.” Steve said as he grabbed the man’s shoulders trying his best to hold him back, it took everything inside of Bucky to stop the innate reaction of punching Steve’s lights out and running far away, very far away. “Stop, stop.” Steve’s voice was shaky and he didn’t know what to do, the man who was normally put together was suddenly very frazzled. 

Bucky just wanted it to end.

That’s how he ended up in the infirmary getting stitches in his head, his metal hand gripping the exam table firmly as the doctor threaded the needle, ready to close the now open gash in his forehead. The left side of his face was covered in blood, which had now made its way down to soak into his t-shirt.

The room was stark white, sterile, and easily reminded him of the many different locations that Hydra used to torture him in. Bucky was trying his best to keep himself calm under this situation but no one seemed to understand what he was going through. No one seemed to understand that there is no life after being created with the sole intention to destroy.

“I got here as soon as I could.” You say to Steve, your footsteps echoing in the empty hallway as you approach him from behind. He’s standing outside the exam room, looking into the window. His brow is furrowed and his arms crossed over his chest. He’s worried. 

“What happened?” You ask.

Steve had called you the second they brought him in, something about how you seemed to be the only person Bucky had been asking for hours before the event took place.

“I don’t … I’m not entirely sure.” Steve says softly, shaking his head. “One minute, he was going to bed and the next I heard screaming and this banging sound. By the time I walked in, he had already busted his head open. He looked … so … so …” He can’t find the right word so he trails off instead.

You wince at the thought, your eyes traveling over to the room where Bucky sat, watching as the doctor’s worked on him, the top of his forehead bruised and stained with blood. Silence washes over the two of you as you wait.

You hadn’t seen Bucky since that night it was your turn to watch over him a few weeks prior, Nat ended up pulling you into a mission that was way more important and time sensitive than anyone could have planned for. Sam and Steve kept their eyes on Bucky instead, well, mostly Steve who barely left his side. If you had been around, you would have reminded him to give Bucky some space to breathe, but now after seeing Bucky getting stitched up on the table, you weren’t too sure that was a good idea anymore, no one knew what he was capable of doing to himself or others. 

Guilt passed through your body at the thought of what had happened. The night the two of you shared felt like there was a chance for some progress to be made, but it seemed like whatever Hydra put Bucky through was worse than anyone had originally thought, which meant that proceeding with caution was probably the best way to handle this situation.

“Has he talked to anyone?” You mutter, finally breaking through the silence. Your stance matches Steve’s as the two of you stand shoulder to shoulder, your arms crossed over your chest. “This can’t happen again, Steve. He’s shutting down.”

“I know!” Steve snaps, his hand running through his hair. You flinched slightly at his outburst, this obviously had been eating at him for a while. “I know,” he says again softer this time, a sigh leaving his lips a few moments later before he continues. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him.”

You turn your head to the side and take in Steve’s features. His jaw was set, the muscles in his neck taut as you could tell he was trying to think about what to do - how to fix this. You knew that whatever you were going to suggest was going to be shut down immediately, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try.

“Let me handle him for the next few days.” You say. 

His head snaps to look over at you, his eyes narrow as he takes in your request. 

“I’m not saying you’re not capable of taking care of him, Steve, but you have an emotional connection to someone you don’t know anymore. Between that and what’s going on in his head I think it’s overwhelming him.” 

You try to be delicate with your delivery, noticing the way his emotions change with each of your words. He knows you’re right and his face shows it, but suddenly he can’t bring himself to let anyone watch over Bucky. His best friend. What if something happened to him? What if something happened to you ? Steve wasn’t sure it was worth the risk.

“Just a few days.” You remind him of your proposition. “We’ll move him to one of the trainee rooms so I can stay with him.” You knew Steve would want Bucky to have constant surveillance, hopefully this would be the best solution, and the one he would say yes to.

“No.” Steve shakes his head as he responds, the wheels in his brain turning. “He could kill you in a second if you’re not careful. You’re not a super soldier, you’re great at what you do; but he’s not in his right frame of mind. It’s not happening.”

“Please.” You say, reaching your hand out to rest on Steve’s arm. He sighs again, your name slipping out as he does.

“This is worse than we thought. His brain is going through things that no one can understand right now. He could snap in a second, I’m not putting my best team member in there. That’s that.”

You expected rejection, but that didn’t mean you were going to accept it so easily.

“Listen to me.” You take a step towards Steve, your hand still on his arm. “You need someone who can objectively think about Bucky. You’re too close to him, you’re going to freak him out even more. Nat is off on another mission and Sam deserves a break, he wants to go see his family.”

Steve groans, rolling his head back as he takes a moment to consider your words. He doesn’t like them, though he knows that what you’re saying is obvious and true, there’s just a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him not to let you go through with this.

“I’ll train with him, see if he can get some of the aggression out. I’ll try and get him to work with the doctors, try to talk about some of this. Come on, Steve,” you basically plead with him, your hand falling back to your side. “Give me a chance. Give Bucky a chance.”

Hook, line and sinker.

Steve can’t argue with you there, you said the magic words and it was all he needed to hear. He brings his hand up and pinches the bridge of his nose, annoyed that you somehow managed to convince him.

“Fine. I’m giving you a week. If nothing improves within a week then we’re going to figure something else out.” He drops his hand and takes a step closer to you, he towers over your figure. “And if he does anything, and I mean anything , out of line we’re pulling you out of there. Do I make myself clear?”

You nod your head at him as you straighten your posture a bit, Steve Rogers was still, after all, your commanding officer.

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good.” 

The sound of the door opening causes both of your gazes to shift, Bucky stepping out of the doorway. His eyes find yours immediately for the first time in weeks, it’s automatic, as if he had been searching for them all this time. He’s stitched up now, they cleaned out his wound and only a nasty bruise remained under the stitches, you knew they’d be healed up in no time due to the serum, but for now he had seen better days.

“Hey,” Steve says. You can see that he’s itching to take a step forward to check if his friend is okay but that he restrains himself. Bucky’s eyes flicker over at Steve for a moment, nodding in his direction, before he turns his attention back to you. Steve analyzes Bucky’s features while the other looks away as if to assess that he really is okay now, a moment later he turns back to look at you as well.

“Can you give us a second?” Steve asks.

You don’t need to know any more details so you just listen to his command, turning on your heels and make your way out of the infirmary wing, your boots echoing once again down the hallway as you exit. As you enter the elevator to head to the floor where your current dorm room is, you can’t get the image of Bucky’s gaze on you out of your head. He seemed tired and stressed, no doubt from the events earlier in the night, but he also looked … surprised … relieved … a bit of both? You weren’t sure you knew.

There was no time to think about it. You had to pack a bag with your essentials for the week.

The trainee dorms were on the 72nd floor of the tower, they were small rooms equipped with two twin beds and just enough space for two people to barely live within the confines of the walls. You remember your early days there and though you didn’t miss them you knew this was exactly the place that Bucky needed to be in order to start over. He needed a mentor, someone to watch over him, someone to teach him how to start from scratch and that someone could not be Steve.

It didn’t take you long to get your items together, making your way out of your room and down the hall once again. The elevator dings, the doors sliding open to let you inside, you promptly push the button and feel the cart start to move down to the floor that you need.

It hadn’t dawned on you how close of quarters this would be for you and Bucky, the rooms were usually small, trying to prepare recruits for their times on not so lavish missions. He hadn’t transitioned into regular life yet, so you wondered how he was going to feel rooming with you in such tight quarters.

The elevator dings once more, signalling your arrival to the correct floor as you make your way off and down the corridor. You couldn’t help this gut feeling that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, that nagging voice in the back of your mind sure had a way of making you regret this before it started. Steve was right after all, if Bucky snapped, he could kill you in an instant. But, that night you watched him all those weeks ago popped into your mind, and something tells you that Bucky Barnes was looking to hurt himself more than anyone else.

At the end of the hallway sat a room that was tucked away and barely used, Tony Stark made sure there were more rooms available than actual trainees when converting the place - you never knew when a hero might need to crash for the night.

The rooms were standard for all trainees and looked exactly the same as they did all those years ago and for a moment you were transformed back in time as you stood in the doorway. The twin beds are pushed up against adjacent walls, two dark wooden dressers each with three drawers were all you had to put your stuff in (they made trainees remember that most of the time you only needed the essentials) and besides a mirror on the wall … well that was it. Bare bones.

You remember your very first days, being excited and nervous, eager to prove yourself but also worried that there would always be someone better. That was the drive that pushed you. You got the last laugh in the end, working so closely with Steve Rogers made you the best in your class by default. Those times felt so close, but in reality that was your past and it was so far away. 

The sound of a throat clearing startles you, you turn to see Bucky standing in the doorway, his bag in his hand. You’re pretty sure there’s nothing really in it, Bucky didn’t have many possessions, they were probably clothes someone in HQ got for him and some essentials for the day to day, but you were sure that he owned nothing. 

Your eyes scan over him, there’s a frown on his face, though you’re pretty sure that was permanently there.

“Sorry,” you mumble as you take a step into the room, placing your bag on one of the beds to claim it. You hear Bucky shuffle in behind you, the door closing so it’s now the two of you, alone, for the first time in weeks.

You don’t know why you felt so guilty that you had to leave for that mission, it’s not like you made him a promise to come back. The image of the way he looked at you while he watched you eat his food to promise him it wasn’t poisoned flashes in your mind again. You realize it’s probably the first time in a long time that he actually could trust someone. Now you remembered why you felt guilty.

“Did Steve explain why you’re here?” You decide to ask. You’re unpacking your bag, opening the drawers and folding your clothes into them. 

When you don’t hear a response you turn around and see that Bucky is laying down in his bed, his back towards you as he faces the wall. He’s not laying under the covers and his arms are crossed over his chest. He’s shutting down once again, but you’d rather him be like this than banging his head against the walls.

You can’t see his face, but his eyes are open as he stares ahead of him. For some odd reason, maybe it was the events earlier in the night, or it was being in the presence of someone his brain deemed at one point as trustworthy, his thoughts seemed to have slowed down, not halted but slowed. He can hear you shuffling around the room unpacking your things. Knowing he has to be stuck with you for a week brings up conflicting feelings, he had trusted you for a quick moment all those weeks ago, but you didn’t come back and to Bucky’s brain right now that was as good as a traitor.

The emotions of the last weeks have fallen right on his shoulders, he’s already gone from one prison and now he feels like he’s back in another. He can’t see that ahead of him is a life of freedom. He doesn’t know that it’s an option for someone like him.

The bed next to him squeaks and he can tell you’re getting ready to sleep. It’s late, probably around midnight now, and Steve had told him all about the plans you had for him in the morning, how the two of you would work on training, on channeling the negative thoughts and aggression. Yeah, like that was possible.

You take one last look around the room before you shut the light off, climbing into your bed and laying on your side facing away from him. You could hear Steve’s voice in your head telling you that was a stupid move, that if he wanted to attack you that you were opening the door for him. But something deep inside of you knew that if they wanted Bucky to feel like a human again, everyone would need to stop treating him like a threat, like a weapon. 

Though, you’re not entirely stupid, you weren’t going to fall asleep just yet, you still needed to keep your guard up.

“You left.”

The words shocked you to your core, you shifted in your bed so that you were laying on your back now, your face turning on the pillow in his direction. He was still turned away from you, even in the dark you could see his broad shoulders, the way his back muscles moved as he breathed. If you reached your arm out you were sure you’d be able to touch him. Had the beds always been this close together when you were a trainee? Or did the room suddenly feel a lot smaller with Bucky there?

“I had a mission.”

There was a beat of silence as if he was assessing if that was true trying to gauge if you would lie to him at all.

“I came back.” Your words slice right through the silence. 

“Because I asked for you.”

Yeah. He’s got you there.

“Why?”

Bucky shifts in his bed, the silence now filled with the sound of the comforter moving under the weight of his body. He lays on his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling and he’s acutely aware of your gaze on him.

“Because he was getting on my nerves.” You assumed ��he’ meant Steve. “I told him I don’t remember anything. I still don’t.”

“I know,” you whisper back. “He’s trying.”

Bucky clenches his jaw for a moment, taking a deep breath through his nostrils to try and center himself.

“I don’t care about some stupid friendship I had with this guy 70 years ago. He expects me to remember baseball games and childhood memories. All my brain is filled with is the screams of the people I -.”

His sentence abruptly ends, he can’t say the words, he can’t speak of the unthinkable acts that he had done, his throat is dry and his body is on fire again. The feeling of wanting to hurt himself is still there, but with you in the room he won’t act on it. His metal hand clenches the comforter under him, his hands trembling as he does so.

“It’s okay.” You try reassuring him, his body is rigid, like he’s biting back all the emotions in his brain.

Neither one of you speaks after that and as the night goes on the silence returns, only the sounds of both of your steady breaths fill the room. Your eyes try their best to adjust to the darkness, wanting to see his face to know when he fell asleep, but at some point you have to just trust that he is.

Hours tick by and the two beds are occupied by both of your sleeping frames, both experiencing different dreams. You’re dreaming of all the work that needs to be done within the next few weeks. Vivid images of training with Bucky, hopefulness that he’s able to conquer these demons and move forward.

While Bucky’s dreaming of all the people he’s killed. Relentless. Suffocating. Run. Wipe out. Pull the trigger. Destroy.

His eyes snap open before the dream version of himself can do harm, sitting up as he pants deeply, his flesh hand resting over his chest as he feels the way his heart beats wildly. For a moment he doesn’t know where he is and it rattles him. Is he safe? Is someone going to hurt him? Is he going to kill? It takes a second for his eyes to adjust to the now dimly lit room.

He didn’t hear you get up as his ears are ringing and his vision is blurry, but once he finally comes to he sees you standing at the edge of his bed, a knife in your hand, worry etched over your features.

A pang of frustration runs through Bucky’s core, he was still being treated like a threat. The rational part of his brain was trying to tell him that it was fair to assume he still could very much be one, but he knew deep down that more harm was the last thing he wanted to cause.

“You can put the knife down.” Bucky says dryly, his hand snaking up to run through his long hair.

You didn’t mean for him to see it, you had woken up when he started screaming and wanted to be prepared for the worst, though maybe you should have had more faith in him; call it a momentary lapse of judgement.

There’s a small noise when you close the switchblade, throwing it on your bed before taking a closer step towards him to get a better look at his features. Small beads of sweat are forming on his brow bone, his chest is still rapidly moving up and down as he scans your face.

“Are you okay?” 

Bucky’s breathing stops for a moment almost as if it hitches in his throat; you are the first and only person to ask him that question since he’s arrived at the tower. 

“Yeah.” It’s a lie, but for a moment it feels like he is, even if the moment passes quickly.

“You’re shaking, Bucky.” 

The morning sun was just starting to rise, the room now basking in an orange glow as you took another step forward. He brings his shaking hand up to his face, wiping his eye to try and draw attention away from the fact that the nightmare did in fact have more of an effect on him than he’d like to admit. Maybe if he acted calm and collected you’d believe it.

You don’t realize you’ve reached out to him until your hand is already on his shoulder, you can feel him tense under your touch for a brief moment before he relaxes. A wildfire runs through your fingertips and through his body, the warmth of your touch radiating off the two of you. Time seems to slow as you catch his gaze in the dimly lit room, something shifts between the both of you.

His hands are shaking still, but you’re unaware that it’s for a totally different reason. How was Bucky supposed to know that kindness like this existed in the world? That scared him more than he cared to admit.

He clears his throat and you’re quick to retract your hand, Bucky holds back a sigh as the warmth of you is quickly replaced with something much colder. You want to mumble an apology but the words don’t seem to leave your lips, instead you glance down at your hand unable to suddenly meet his eyes.

“We should get ready.”

It was a long night filled with the worst rest either you or Bucky had gotten in a while, but you figured it’d be better to utilize the training room while no one was around. You excuse yourself from the dorm with a change of clothes, your eyes locked on the floor as you make your way to the bathroom down the hall.

Back in the room, Bucky is staring at the door that you had just left out of. He can’t understand why his body relaxes around you, why his mind is suddenly at ease or why it feels like he’s always searching for your gaze.

You had done something to him that night all those weeks ago, something he wasn’t sure you could ever undo. He was free from a life of torture and in came someone so willing to help him, willing to show him that there was no one here to hurt him - you just failed to miss that he would want to hurt himself.

A sigh escapes his lips as he pushes himself off the bed, making his way over to the only mirror in the room and assessing his injury from the night before. It had healed a bit in the hours since, lucky that the serum he had taken had made these things not last as long as they should, but it was still pretty brutal. He didn’t even remember snapping, one minute he was asleep, the next he was banging his head … it was like his subconscious wanted it, or wanted to get revenge for the things he’d done.

But, then he thinks of what had happened just a few minutes ago, about the nightmare and how he woke up - dazed - but not a threat to anyone or himself. There’s a connection to your proximity and he knows it, he just is refusing to admit it.

You walk through the door to the dorm a few minutes later catching a glimpse of Bucky pulling his shirt down, able to see his back muscles, and more importantly, the edge of the scar of where his metal arm met his flesh. 

“Hey.” you say, shaking your head as you want to get the image out of your brain. “Are you ready?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything as he moves to face you, the look in his eye was all you needed to see before you nodded towards the door. You walk in front of Bucky as you guide him through the halls of the tower, he isn't far behind you and the sound of your footsteps falling at the same time echoed throughout the hallways. You could feel his eyes watching your every step and you struggled to not think about it.

It’s once you’re in the training room and the lights are turned on that things start to feel real. You would at the very least need to spar with Bucky, and at most need to try and control his emotions. Steve’s stark reminder that you’re not a super soldier rings through your ears, you push down in favor of hoping that he’s not right.

“Alright,” you clap your hands together as you walk out into the middle of the mat, facing him. “We’re going to do some light sparring first, see how your brain reacts to thinking it’s in danger even if it’s not.” 

Bucky’s arms were crossed over his chest, the silver metal shining brightly from the fluorescent lights above; it makes him look even more intimidating than you knew he already was. 

“I could kill you.” He says bluntly.

“I can handle it.”

His eyebrow quirks a bit at your response, it’s the most emotion you’ve seen from him since he’s been here, you’ll take it. You wave him forward as you get into position, your hips are wide set as your arms and fists stay close to your chest, Bucky copying your stance as the two of you circle around the mat for a moment. A game of cat and mouse. 

It takes only a moment for the two of you to lock up, but it’s incredibly obvious how strong he is already. Neither of you notice the electricity that’s running through your veins when your skin touches, mostly concerned with trying to knock the other one off their feet. Bucky pushes you back causing you to stumble for a moment, you quickly regain your balance and bring your foot up to kick him; you know that it should connect with his face, it always does, but he catches your foot with ease spinning you around as he grabs your arm and twists it behind your back all in one swift motion. You hit the floor before you know it, an ‘oof’ leaves your lips as you feel the impact of your body being knocked down. Bucky’s knee is on your back as he presses into your spine, the force so strong it constricts your airflow.

You sputter as you try to wrangle your way out of his hold, your head turning to the side so your cheek was pressed down against the vibrant blue mat. The grip on your arm is sending pain coursing through you, a screech leaving your lips as you try and turn back to look at him.

The second your gaze connects with Bucky's, there's a brief moment when you see it, when you see him: The Winter Soldier. Feral, unrelenting, looking to kill, his brain was telling him to strike while you were down. It’s almost as if it’s gone in a blink of an eye because the very next moment the look in his eyes it’s one of concern, understanding and horror of what he is doing to you.

It was as if the second the two of you locked up in each other's arms that his mind played these flashbacks, he felt the pain of when they would wipe his memory, he felt the fear running through his bones that everyone was out to get him; and in that moment you were no exception. Bucky watches you for a moment, his metal hand on your arm shaking as he lets out a growl of frustration at what he had just done, he didn’t think about it, it was innate because he was a cold blooded assassin ready to strike at any moment whatsoever. 

You feel his grip on you loosen, his knee moves off your back, the pressure relieving you of the sharp pain you were in. Suddenly you’re gasping to breathe, your fist punching your chest as you try to get air into your lungs. 

“I told you,” he says, wearing a frown on his face. “I could kill you.”

Shit. This was going to be harder than you thought.

[mimiii-3]

Batsib finally getting attention because daimg goes off on everyone ??

Imagine this.. batsib and darling are rlly close and batfam hates it. Darling eventually getting annoyed of the neglect that batsib is getting so they go off on the family, and the family realizes and now give the yandere treatment to batsib instead 😭‼️

Great idea!

…

Saboteur: Obsession

Yandere Platonic Batfam x GN Neglected Reader

Notes: typical yandere themes

…

What if Batsib became the family’s new obsession…

🦇- it has only been about a month since darling’s outburst but it feels like a whole year

🦇- you lay in bed, numbly staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across the ceiling

🦇- the freshly planted camera in your room adjusts its lens to focus on your motionless form

🦇- you should have never said anything. You should have been grateful

🦇- sure your family could care less about you…but at least you were free

🦇- you let your thoughts drift to the day that this all started

🦇- the day that darling accidentally ruined your life

1 month ago

🦇- you lay on the fuzzy rug, attempting to pinch the worn material of the old jean jacket

🦇- you bite your lip in concentration as you thread the needle

🦇- darling chuckles at your focused state while attempting to sew a small tear in your jacket

🦇- “Didn’t Alfred teach you how to sew,” they ask before snatching the needle and jacket out of your hands.

🦇- you purse your lips in irritation and embarrassment. “Of course he didn’t teach me,” you think.

🦇- Darling expertly sews the torn jacket and throws it back to you.

🦇- you catch the jacket and eye their handiwork. It’s good. Alfred must have taught them well.

🦇- you look up to find darling staring at you expectantly. They’re waiting for an answer

🦇- “No, he never taught me. He doesn’t like me much.”

🦇- they pause and think for a minute. “That doesn’t sound like Alfred. Are you sure he doesn’t like you? Maybe you should try and ask again,” Darling rambles.

🦇- your rub at your forehead in irritation. They just don’t understand

🦇- “Alfred doesn’t like me. None of them do.”

🦇- Darling quiets down at your statement. They crawl over to your side on the bright pink rug, “well even if Alfred doesn’t like you, I’m sure dad does.”

🦇- you shake your head. “Dick?” You shake your head again. “Tim?” You sake your head for the third time in row. “Damian?” At the mention of Damian you let out a deep laugh

🦇- “Those three have told me how much they hate me more times than I can count. I appreciate that you care but they will never love me the same way they love you,” you sigh melodramatically.

🦇- at the thought of just how much your family hates you, your laughter kicks back up again

🦇- it’s funny really. They love their kidnapping victim more than their actual family. Why wouldn’t they?

🦇- while getting over your bout of laughter, you miss the stormy look in darling’s eyes

…

🦇- you were working on your book nook when out of nowhere you hear screaming and the sound of glass shattering

🦇- you quickly drop what you’re doing and race down the mahogany stairway

🦇- in the hallway, darling stands in front of a mess of shattered vases and picture frames that were impossibly expensive

🦇- your father and brothers surround them. Nervously assessing the damage and what could have possibly set them off

🦇- Damian looks up and spots you on the stairs, “what have you down now you hellion?!”

🦇- “no,” Darling interrupts, “I won’t let you talk to them like that!”

🦇- Damian’s eyes widen at darling’s tone. He drops his tough guy act and looks down in shame

🦇- “you all have to start being nicer to them! They’re my big sibling and if you can’t respect them, then I don’t have to respect you,” Darling huffs

🦇- Bruce puts his hands up in a show of peace and tentatively approaches darling. He takes their hands in his and offers a small smile, “sure thing, kiddo. Anything you want.”

🦇- darling looks back at you with a wide grin. They shoot you a quick thumbs up before taking your father’s hand again and dragging him to the cinema room

🦇- you can feel the air shift and your stomach drops instantly. Dick, Tim, and Damian all stare at you with unreadable expressions.

🦇- Dick clears his throat, “well come on then. We’re watching a movie.”

🦇- Dick holds his hand out to you. It’s different than the way your father reached his hand out to darling. It feels like an obligation. What would happen if you didn’t take his hand? What would happen if you ran back up the stairs?

🦇- Dick seemingly reads your mind and closes the distance to grab your hand. He pulls you down the remaining steps so quickly you almost fall.

🦇- His grip on your hand is tight as he marches down the unending hallway. Tim and Damian walk on either side of you and Dick. You can feel their stares burning the back of your head.

🦇- Your heart feels like it’s about to beat right out your chest. This doesn’t feel right. Darling says one thing and they all just obey. That’s it?

🦇- Your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of a new pair of eyes watching you. You tilt your head back a bit and look up. Dick is staring at you. His piercing blue eyes look like they’re gazing into your soul.

🦇- You try to read him but fail. You look back at your feet as you all round the corner into the cinema room. You can hear the opening score. It’s The Shining.

🦇- “How fitting,” you think bitterly.

Present Day

🦇- hot tears cascade down your face and dampen the pillow beneath you

🦇- you’re so stupid

🦇- you should have never said anything to darling. They meant well, they truly did. But this is not what you wanted

🦇- your quiet tears transform into hiccuping sobs

🦇- the loudness of your cries shocks some sense into you. you quickly slap your hand over your mouth

🦇- with bated breath, you watch the door

🦇- please don’t come in, please don’t come in, please don’t come in

🦇- the handle turns slowly

🦇- Dick and Tim enter the room. Tim scans your teary face, “why are you crying? Is something wrong?”

🦇- Dick rubs sleepily at his eyes and sits down at the end of your bed. There’s that look again. A mix of adoration and a predator-like gaze. What does it even mean?

🦇- Tim waves his hand in front of your face. “I asked you a question,” he hisses.

🦇- you sit up in bed, “sorry, I was just thinking about that new show I started. The one with the president and the underground dome. It made me a little emotional just thinking about it.”

🦇- you chuckle nervously before wiping at the almost dry tears on your face

🦇- Tim takes a step back and you try not to let the relief show. “That’s fine,” he sighs, “try and get some sleep.”

🦇- Tim turns around and head back to the door. You peer over at Dick and find him still staring at you.

🦇- “is that the show with the apocalypse and the fake sun?” His sudden question shocks you. Did he know about the show himself? Or had he been spying on you while you watched it a few days ago?

🦇- “yup! That’s the one. Y’know I think you’d like it. Maybe you should check it out sometime,” you say with a faux cheeriness.

🦇- “Hm. Maybe I’ll join you for the next episode.”

🦇- you smile at Dick and try to mask your disappointment at his answer. He rises from his spot on your bed and approaches you

🦇- Dick raises his hand and pets your head. “Tim’s right. Get some sleep.”

🦇- you nod and shoot him a small smile. He doesn’t return it and instead turns and walks to the door

🦇- Tim is still standing in the doorway with his arms folded. You wave bye at him and he leaves without another glance.

🦇- “Night,” Dick mutters and shuts the door behind him.

🦇- you lay back down and let out a breath you had been holding

🦇- the sound of the camera lens adjusting returns a minute or two later

🦇- it means that Tim has made it back to his room and is watching you again

🦇- no more crying

🦇- you’d rather suffer in silence than have that awkward interaction happen again

🦇- you turn in bed and pull the thick covers over your head. You grab your red panda plushie and pull it closer to you

🦇- you can’t take much more of this. Their overbearing nature is starting to wear at you psyche

🦇- they’re insane. You should’ve called Commissioner Gordon the second they kidnapped darling

🦇- maybe this is what you deserve. A life of imprisonment in exchange for your complicitness in the kidnapping of darling

🦇- yes, you were complicit but you didn’t know any better. You thought going along with their plan would make them love you

🦇- turns out you were right. It just didn’t go at all like you thought it would

🦇- sure, you’ve made some mistakes in your quest for love and family. But you don’t deserve this

🦇- you don’t plan on being kept here like a pet for the rest of your life

🦇- there’s only one solution: escape

…

Extra notes: this one was kinda long

Tag list:

@jjsmeowthie @shawty-a-lil-baddie @butratherbutrather @shirp-collector-of-fixations @stove-top96 @yaoizee @bellethesleepypotato @salfishers @eli-mayhaveatencats @wisefuncherryblossom @c4xcocoa @twismare @icanmeltanigloo @tatsuri-zomushiki

[potatoplace]

I Don't Feel Alive

The Afterthought: Chapter 4 | series masterlist

ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader

part 3 | part 5 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: Starfall means dress shopping, and dress shopping means spending time with Nesta and Elain... the celebration is its own set of challenges that you struggle with.

Warnings: Body shaming, toxic family, slight disordered eating, suicidal ideation, self-deprecating thoughts (let me know if I missed anything)

Words: ~9.2k

Author's Note: it's heeeere I didn't get quite as far into the story as I wanted, but this was a good cut off point too. I really hope you guys like this one! I don't think I made it quite angsty enough, but there's still some. Plus a lil fluff to start. Enjoy! p.s. let me know who you think Y/N will end up with! Or anything else you have to say 🫶

18+ only pls

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

Your dreams were soft and fuzzy, filled with hazy scenes of you laying in bed and cuddling with your sisters, just like you had every night so long ago.

Waking felt similar, your body cocooned by soft blankets and warm arms, your own wrapped around someone's torso. You took a deep breath before opening your eyes, blinking them a few times to adjust to the sunlight filtering in through the curtains.

Mor's face was laying on the pillow in front of you, still relaxed with sleep. She looked even prettier like this, without stress and her busy schedule hanging over her.

You slowly unwrapped your arms from around her, taking care to not wake her. She deserved the extra sleep, with how much time she was going to be spending in the Hewn City through the end of the year.

You rolled onto your back, Mor's arms tightening around you as you did. It felt nice, being held again. In the past two years, you had forgotten how lovely it was to wake up feeling safe, snuggled up with your sisters.

The sound of Mor's soft, even breaths nearly lulled you asleep, before your eyes flew open.

Shoot! You had forgotten Nuala and Cerridwen's Solstice presents...

Mor's arms were gently pried from your body, which was harder to do than you had anticipated, but you managed without waking her.

You pulled on a dressing gown and quietly grabbed the two bags containing their presents. Your bedroom door snicked shut behind you, and you padded down the hallway, down the stairs, and to their bedroom. One knock had the door swinging open, this time greeted by Cerridwen.

"Y/N? Did you need something?" The wraith asked, her eyes widening slightly when she saw the presents in your hand. "Oh, you didn't have to do that, Y/N," she said, letting you into their room.

"But I wanted to, both of you have been so wonderful to me. And I already got them for you, so you have to open them," you insisted, placing each bag in their new owner's hands.

Nuala shook her head but opened her present anyways, a wide smile overtaking her face. "This is wonderful Y/N! Oh and you even got me metal threads, how did you know?!" The wraith embraced you tightly in her arms.

"And you remembered me complaining about my needles, oh mother, Y/N, you are the most thoughtful person!" Cerrdiwen exclaimed, stealing you from her sister's arms. "You will be the first person I make something for," she said after she loosened her hold on you.

"You don't need to do that..."

Cerridwen looked at you sharply. "Yes I do, and I will. Would you prefer a hat or scarf first? Oh, I'll just make you both," she finished, not giving you time to answer.

"Thank you in advance, I suppose," you said, blush dusting your cheeks. "I'm glad both of you liked your gifts."

"Of course we do! You pay so much attention to what you buy for people, it's so sweet," Nuala said kindly.

A heavier blush rose to your cheeks at their sweet words. "I just like to make people happy. Speaking of which, I should get back to Mor-"

"Back to me? But I'm right here!" Mor said brightly from behind you, causing you to jump in shock. "Sorry, Y/N, did I scare you?" Mor's arms wrapped around you from behind. "You left me, so I came down to find you. Want to do breakfast before everyone returns?"

You nodded in agreement, but turned your eyes to the twins. "Do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to," Nuala said, and Cerridwen nodded her head before replying the same.

"Girls' breakfast! Let's go!" Mor exclaimed, pulling you out of the twins' room, down the hall, and into the kitchen.

The twins trailed behind at a less excited pace, and met the two of you in the kitchen as Mor was pulling food out of the cold box. Bacon, sausages, eggs, broccoli, and cheese were taken out, and the four of you began making breakfast- most likely too much food for the four of you, but Mor insisted that once Cassian had returned he would eat any food that was left over.

You provided the tea, rushing upstairs to pick out an orange and ginger tea.

Breakfast with the three of them was lovely, only kind words and soft smiles being exchanged between you. It was much more peaceful than most of the meals you had taken at the dining table, and for that you were grateful.

Your sisters, their mates, and Azriel returned while the four of you were still gathered round the table, talking over the last of the second pot of tea you'd made.

"Good morning, ladies," Rhys said as he slipped into one of the chairs, pulling a glowing Feyre into his lap a moment later. "Did you have a good breakfast?"

You nodded in response, but it was Mor who spoke. "Yes, in a team effort we made far too much food. What about you lot?"

"It was good, but there wasn't enough," Cassian complained as he sat down, plucking a piece of bacon off of a plate. You smiled at his antics, you'd always found it funny how the male never seemed to be truly full.

"There's never enough for you, Cass," Nesta said as she took the seat next to him- directly across from you- and glared hard enough at you that the small smile on your face fell off in an instant.

"That's true, even though he devoured all of the sweets you gave him, Y/N, he was asking for more the moment they were gone," Lucien laughed as he did the same as Rhys, pulling Elain into his lap in the chair next to yours.

Fear clutched at your heart, though you knew it shouldn't. But the thought of Cassian enjoying the sweets you had made so much that he asked for more... You were scared of how Nesta might retaliate this time.

You tried to keep your breathing even as the conversation passed from one ear to the other, no words registering as they spoke.

"Y/N?" Feyre's soft voice broke through, pulling you out of your worried heart and back into the moment. "You're still up to go dress shopping with us tomorrow, right?"

Your eyes flicked up to her, then to her mate behind her who had a stern look on his face. You forced your eyes back to her slightly worried ones, focusing on the gentle blue that you'd known your whole life. "Uhm... Yes, I am," you managed to respond once you had played the question over in your head.

"Good! We were all thinking that noon would be a fine time to leave, that way the three of us can sleep in a bit after the revel tonight. Does that sound good to you?"

You could feel Nesta's burning gaze and Elain's judgemental eyes on you, stoking the fire of your fear.

"That sounds fine to me, Feyre," you replied, fingers working nervously over the painted irises on your teacup, focusing on the tiny ridges that the paint had created, your gaze now trained on them.

Better than seeing the hatred in Nesta's eyes.

"Perfect! Now that that's settled, I think we should all get to perfecting the revel for tonight," Feyre said, causing movement from all around the table.

Except you.

You sat, staring at your teacup until everyone was gone, disappeared off to their rooms or offices, or wherever they needed to be.

That left you to clear the plates, quickly washing the dishes and leaving them to dry in the rack. Your teapot was dried by hand, and filled with tea leaves and hot water once more. Thankfully you were able to retreat to your room without question, letting you escape back into your fantasy world you had created in your mind. Away from Nesta and Elain's combined ire, combined disdain for your very existence.

The lovely jasmine tea Azriel had gifted you helped you forget where you were, nearly convincing yourself you were back in the human lands, sipping tea in the living room with your father as you watched snow fall and bury that tiny little shack, falling asleep to the thought of it in your arm chair.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

The next morning, you forced yourself from the arm chair, stretching out your neck as you did.

Somehow, it was less comfortable than sleeping in the bathtub.

Your soreness abated as you slid into steaming water, bubbling with rose scented soap- something that you were absolutely delighted by, loving that no matter what, your body was completely covered by bubbles. You hardly caught sight of your skin at all, though you knew with the day's plans, you would be forced to confront how your body had changed.

You could feel it, every now and then. The way your bones protruded just a bit more than they had a month ago. How your joints got sore from sitting or laying faster than before. How pale you had become compared to this time last year, when you had a slight glow to your skin.

This year, you were pasty. As though you had been locked away from the sun the entire time.

A sigh left your lips as you finished your skincare, the one act of kindness to yourself that you always made time for.

Your body didn't matter. It's not as though you would find someone in Prythian. After all, fae and humans shouldn't mix...

Feyre had said something similar to you, so long ago about your past crush on Cassian.

Thankfully in that time, only one person had caught your eye... And you were certain that Irina would never stoop so low as to date you of all people.

Another long breath, lungs deflating.

No, you were here to be alone. Mor and Feyre had begun trying to engage with you, for that you were grateful. They were keeping you from losing all hope once more, and it was all you could do to keep that flame alive.

Especially knowing that your own issues with your body would be added to by whatever Nesta and Elain deigned to say to you. Feyre may have told them to behave, but that wouldn't stop them from throwing barbs at you, thinly veiled by concern or 'opinion.'

Your cycle had finished the night before, leaving you tired but free of its scent, which you were overly thankful for. Mor's present was very nice, but you did not want to try the underwear out while dress shopping with your sisters.

You forced yourself to get dressed and headed out of your room, noting the time on the clock in the hallway. Half past eleven.

That should be enough time for a pot of tea, maybe taken in the kitchen? Or should you retreat to your room...?

You turned around and headed back to your room for a packet of tea leaves, this one a plain green tea. After grabbing it, you made your way downstairs, ears listening for any sign of life.

Perhaps they were all asleep still, exhausted from the revel the night before.

The kitchen was empty when you entered it, and you quickly set to making your tea. A few minutes later you were sat at the island in the kitchen, a cushioned stool beneath you. The tea was lovely and calming, it's clean, slightly sea scented aroma perfect for clearing your head.

That was until Nesta and Elain sauntered in, already talking about what dress styles and colors they were hoping to find today. Their conversation didn't stop once as they walked straight past you and into the living room, the only evidence of them noticing you was the feeling of their eyes on your back.

Suddenly, your heart wasn't so calm.

Feyre walked in a minute later, rushing over to you once she saw you seated at the island. "How are you?"

"I'm... I'm okay. How are you, Fey? How's the baby?"

"Oh I'm just fine, baby was being a little fussy earlier but they're all settled now. Are you ready to leave?"

You finished the rest of your tea in a few quick gulps, enjoying the feeling of warmth it brought, and stood from your stool. "I just need to wash this, and then I'm ready," you said, already making your way to the kitchen sink. That was done in a flash, and soon Feyre was ushering the three of you out the door, Nesta and Elain immediately locking arms and taking the lead. You and Feyre trailed after them, your own arms locked together after Feyre forced her elbow around yours, smiling at you when you looked at her.

All too soon, you arrived at the dress store in the middle of the Palace of Thread and Jewels, greeted by the owner, Tarin.

"Ah, the High Lady and her sisters! This is a lucky day for me, that's for sure," Tarin exclaimed as she approached Feyre, clasping their hands together. "What can I help the four of you with?"

"We're looking for dresses for Starfall, I know we're cutting it a bit close-"

"Oh, nonsense! For the High Lady, even the day of Starfall is not too close. Please, look around and pick out what interests you, we can have them altered if need be," Tarin said, waving her arms at the racks upon racks of dresses filling the shop. "I can also have them made up in different colors, and with any variations of fabrics you may like. Any way I can please you, my dears, and I am happy to do it."

Nesta and Elain set into the sea of fabric together, keeping close to each other as they picked through the racks. You stayed near Feyre, feeling wildly out of your depth.

Shopping for Solstice was one thing, it was shopping for those you cared for. But this...

This was shopping for yourself, and you struggled more with that. Buying the hairpin that you currently had twisted in your hair was a rare action, and one of the first non-practical purchase you had made for yourself since coming to Velaris.

"How about this one?" Feyre asked you, drawing you from your thoughts as she waved a dark purple dress in front of you, it's long sleeves waving as she did so.

"It's pretty," you said absentmindedly, staring at the way the fabric shimmered in the light.

"Do you want to try it on?"

Your eyes snapped up to Feyre's. "Me?"

Feyre laughed softly. "Yes, you. The cut is similar to dresses you've worn before, and you like purple, right?"

You looked back down at the dress, taking in the modest bodice and neckline, and the long length of the dress. "I like the design, but I think I'd prefer a lighter color, Fey," you said politely, but grabbed the dress anyway. "I'll try it on, though."

"That sounds fine, we could always get it made in a lilac color if you'd like," Feyre suggested, her hands already moving over more dresses. "You can go put that at the dressing rooms, then come back and look for more, okay?"

You nodded and did as she suggested, returning to her side and half-heartedly looking over the dresses hung in front of you.

Many of them were far too revealing for your comfort, with low necklines and slits up the thigh. You did find a few you thought Feyre may like, gowns that reminded you of the shimmering night sky, and showed them to her when you happened across them.

"Oh, I love this one," Feyre gushed when she saw one you had handed her, this one a dark blue silk with a smattering of silver stars embroidered across the chest and stomach, with a sweetheart neckline. The length of the dress would like reach her mid thigh, and hang just slightly on the tiny bump that was forming on Feyre's stomach. "What do you think?" She asked, holding the dress up to her body. "High Lady of Night enough?"

Even held against her body, the dress looked perfect for her. "Definitely. You should try it on, Fey," you suggested.

"Hmm... I think I will, Y/N. Are you ready to try yours on? I think we've both got a decent number," Feyre said, slowly walking with you to the back of the shop, where the dressing rooms were located.

"I am, I think," you replied, though you were unsure of being anywhere within a ten foot radius of Nesta. Especially if she couldn't find a dress she liked...

Thankfully at the moment, Nesta and Elain were both in their own dressing rooms, trying on whichever ones they had picked out.

You and Feyre entered your own curtained room, the dresses that you had picked out hung on the hooks inside.

A quiet sigh, and you set to undressing yourself. There was no mirror in here, likely to force people out to get recommendations from their friends. The purple dress that Feyre had found was the first you tried on, the soft fabric flowing down your body like water.

It clung too much.

That was your first impression of the dress, even with the modest neckline and hem length. The soft fabric seemed to be molded to your body, and even a cursory feel of your hands over your hips had you wishing you had rejected Feyre's offer to go shopping. You did not want to hear what Nesta would say about the slight show of your bones in the dress.

"Y/N, are you almost done? We're waiting for you," Feyre said softly from the other side of the curtain, and you forced yourself out of the dressing room. "Oh, you look lovely! I think the color looks nice on you," Feyre said kindly, even as her eyes lingered over the sharp edges of your shoulders, the noticeable bump of your hip bones.

"Do you eat?" Nesta asked sharply from across the room, her nose wrinkled as she took you in. "You look like you're still living in poverty, Y/N."

Blood rushed to your cheeks at her words. They were true, though. "I eat. I've just been..." you paused, trying to find a word that wouldn't irritate your sister. "Stressed."

Nesta scoffed, but shut her mouth at a stern look from Feyre.

"The color is nice, Y/N," Elain said weakly. You forced a smile in her direction.

"Thank you, Elain. Your dress is lovely, green is a wonderful color on you," you said, taking in the flowing layers of fabric that made up the skirt of the dress, all in varying shades of dark green.

"Thank you," Elain replied, but moved her gaze to Nesta. "Nes, your dress is gorgeous. I think you should stick with that one, no need to look for others. You look perfect," Elain said excitedly, so different from her reaction to you.

You tried not to let it sting, turning instead to Feyre. She was clad in a floor length dress in black, tiny diamonds sewn on in patterns that you thought were constellations. There was a slit up to her mid thigh on both sides, allowing her to move freely. "This one is beautiful Fey, you look stunning!"

"You think? I still want to try on that last one you picked out, but I really like this one," Feyre said. "Oh, and I may have put an extra dress in your dressing room, please just try it on, I think you'll really like it. It's the pink one on the left hand side. Just, try it," Feyre begged you softly before returning to her dressing room, Nesta and Elain already back in their own.

Your mouth set into a line, you entered the curtained room again. As she said, there was a glittering pink gown hung on the left hand side when you walked in. Your mouth fell into a frown at the neckline.

Entirely too scandalous for you.

But still, you forced yourself to shed the purple dress and shimmy into the pink one as Feyre had asked. The long, flowing sleeves were off the shoulder, connected to the bodice by a small amount of fabric. The neckline of the dress was far lower than you were normally comfortable with, showing more cleavage than you ever had. The dress was loose fitting past your chest, the flowing skirts moving beautifully as you examined them. The pale rose pink of the fabric was one of your favorites, and didn't wash out your complexion. A difficult task, with how pale you are at the moment.

You walked out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirror, assessing the dress. Your shoulders were far too bony, but even so... You felt beautiful in the dress, like a princess. The skirts reached your feet, billowing out around you. The neckline was lower than you wanted... But it looked lovely, and really, wearing one low-necked dress in your lifetime would be fine. A turn in the mirror showed you your prominent scapulae, half hidden by the fabric of the dress. That could be fixed by styling your hair in large ringlets, enough to cover most of your back. But the gown... The gown was lovely.

"Oh, I knew you would look perfect in that one!" Feyre cheered when she exited her dressing room in the dress you had picked for her. "You look amazing! Please tell me this is the one you want?" Feyre asked, standing by you as both of you stared in the mirror.

"You don't think it's too...?" You gestured to the neckline. "Revealing?"

Feyre shook her head. "No, mother no. I've worn much worse, you have nothing to worry about. It's just a little bit different than usual, is all. And it's perfect on you."

You tried to believe Feyre, and you did like the dress...

But then Nesta walked out. Her eyes narrowed and nose wrinkled as she gave you a once over, obviously displeased with how you looked.

She was so good at that. Tearing you apart with just one look.

"Your shoulders stick out," Nesta remarked as she took her place in front of the mirror, looking herself over. Her dress was made of shiny silver fabric, a corset in the same fabric serving as the bodice with thick straps wrapping over the tops of her shoulders.

You ignored her comment as best you could. "You look amazing in that dress, Nesta. The corset fits you perfectly."

A cold look over her shoulders, followed by a clipped, "Thank you."

Elain came out of her dressing room last, this time clad in a cream colored dress, looking every bit like the bride she was always destined to be.

"Oh, Elain! You look wonderful!" You said brightly as you took a step toward her, stopping when her gaze hit you- cold as ice. "This one looks very nice on you, but the last one looked amazing too," you said, more nervous now.

"Thanks," she answered coolly, setting her eyes on Feyre. "Feyre, that dress is stunning on you, and very fitting for Starfall."

You nodded in agreement, the dress was perfect for her. And just like you thought, it just barely highlighted the tiny baby bump Feyre had. The sight of it made you smile.

You were overjoyed that your sister had found a loving partner in Rhys, and was looking forward to motherhood.

"Thank you, 'Lain, I really like that it shows my bump just a bit, I think Rhys and I are ready to let our court know that we're expecting at Starfall," Feyre said excitedly, a hand stroking her belly.

"That's amazing, Feyre," Nesta said softly, sounding the kindest she had since they had been taken by Hybern.

"You'll be the talk of Starfall," Elain said, holding Feyre's hands in her own. "I'm so excited for you and Rhys!"

"I don't want to make the biggest deal out of it, after all, it's still early, but... Rhys is so excited about finally being a father, I had to talk him down from telling the Hewn City residents about it last night," Feyre sighed. "I am glad that I'm going to have all of my sisters with me, supporting me along the way, though. Thank you all for coming shopping today," Feyre said tearily.

"Of course, Feyre," you said, taking her in your arms. "We're always going to be by your side."

Elain's arms followed next, barely touching you but clutching Feyre close. "Yeah, Fey, we'll always be with you. Right, Nes?"

"Of course. I will always be here for you, Feyre," Nesta said, and reluctantly wrapped her arms around Feyre and Elain, one hand just barely touching you.

When you all pulled away, Feyre was crying softly, tears streaming down her face. You grabbed tissues from a nearby table, dabbing away the tracks of starlight on her face. "It's okay, Feyre. We're all here."

"I-I know," Feyre sniffled. "I just... I love you all so much. I can't imagine life without any of you." She let you wipe her eyes, dabbing away the last of her tears after she collected herself. "Now, let's try on the rest of the dresses, we shouldn't waste too much of Miss Tarin's time."

The four of you continued to try on dresses, with much of the same behavior. You attempted to compliment your sisters, only to be met with cold responses. If they did talk to you, it was to point out how the dress didn't suit you.

You still chose the pink dress that Feyre had chosen for you, Feyre choosing the blue one that you had picked for her. Nesta picked the silver gown. Elain had taken the longest to decide, eventually choosing the green dress she had tried on first.

Feyre had argued over the payment with Tarin, demanding that she pay full price for the rushed orders, eventually winning the argument. Nesta and Elain had left by that point, taking off to some vague location that contained books.

That left you and Feyre, walking slowly across the bridge that would lead you to the Rainbow. She wanted to look at paints, and maybe get something special for the canvases that you had gotten her.

And that's how you found yourself entering Irina's shop once more, your heartbeat kicking up when you realized it. Feyre led you to the wall of paint, her fingers hovering over the tubes as she searched for the colors she wanted.

Soft footsteps approached from the back of the shop, and you were met with Irina, her face just as beautiful as you remembered, her smile just as warm.

You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat.

"Ah, Feyre and Y/N, it's lovely to see both of you," Irina's smooth voice said. "You came in just in time, I was about to close up early."

"Lucky us!" Feyre said, eyes still glued to the paint tubes. "Any special occasion?" She asked Irina teasingly as she pulled a few out of the selection.

"Oh, hush you," Irina scolded, swatting Feyre gently on the arm. "You know that I have a date with Rivin tonight."

Oh.

Your heart sank.

"Well, I wanted to make sure the plans were still on! You know I was rooting for the two of you to get together," Feyre said. You grabbed the paint tubes she had picked up from her, pushing her slender hand away when she attempted to take them back. Your fingers rolled over the cap, giving you a sensation to focus on besides your crushed... crush. "The way the two of you danced around each other since I first met you was adorable- I'm so glad you're going out now!"

"Well, I'll only be able to go out with her if you choose what you want soon, or she'll think I stood her up!" Irina laughed, her skin shifting colors under the light.

"Oh, fine, fine," Feyre said, pulling out three more tubes of paint, all shimmering metallic shades. You followed her as she followed Irina to the back counter, placing the tubes on it. Soon enough, the paints were rung up and bagged, and clutched tightly in your arms. "Thank you, Irina. I hope your date goes well."

"Oh, I do as well!" Irina said as she walked the two of you out of the store, locking the door behind her. "I hope the two of you have a lovely rest of your day as well."

"You as well, Irina," you said quietly, nodding your head to her before she turned to leave. She flashed you a dazzling smile, her eyes a bright pink today.

So pretty.

"I'll see the two of you around!" She yelled, waving goodbye over her shoulder.

You and Feyre began the walk home, arms linked together one more, your other balancing the bag of paint.

"How do you know Irina?" Feyre asked once you were crossing the Sidra, taking careful penguin steps so neither of you would fall on the slippery bricks.

Color rushed to your cheeks, though they were already pink from the cold. "Oh, I went into her shop to get one of your birthday presents. The canvases and all," you explained.

"Ahh, that makes sense. She's nice, and she has a great selection!" Feyre said excitedly as the two of you passed through the door of the River House. "I cannot wait to start the first three panels! I'm not quite through my third month yet, but I know some of what I want to do for it."

"I'm glad you like it Fey! I can't wait to see what you make for each one." You kicked off your boots after unlacing them, and let Feyre pull your jacket off your arms, you doing the same for her after. "I think I'm going to head up to my room," you said quietly after you hung up your coats and put your boots on the rack.

"Oh, alright. I... I hope you didn't feel too uncomfortable while shopping," Feyre said. You knew what she meant: with Nesta and Elain.

"I was... fine," you lied half-heartedly.

Feyre stared at you, and you would have thought she was reading your mind, but you didn't feel anything similar. "If you say so. You know you can talk to me, right?" You nodded. "Okay... Well, I'll let you get to your room. Did you want me to start water for tea? I was going to make a cup for myself anyway," Feyre offered, a soft smile on her face.

You nodded again. "That would be nice, thank you, Fey."

Feyre's smile broadened. "I'll see you in the kitchen, sissy."

You went to your room to grab another packet of tea from the sampler Azriel had gotten you- so far, you were a fan of every blend he had chosen. You were hoping today's choice of a rose petal tea would be just as lovely.

The trip back to the kitchen was quick, with no sign of your other two sisters. Good. You weren't in the mood to see their sneering faces again so soon.

Tea was made quickly, thanks to Feyre boiling water for you. You gave her a hug before returning upstairs, tray balanced in your arms.

Just before you opened your door, the door to Rhys's study swung open, Azriel emerging from it.

Oh!

He came down the hallway, and once he was near the stairs you finally got your brain to move past your anxiety of starting a conversation.

"Hi, Azriel, would you uhm... Would you wait here for just a moment?" You asked. "I have that Solstice present I got for you."

"Alright," Azriel replied quietly, moving closer to your doorway. You went inside quickly, fishing the already wrapped box out from under your bed, and a moment later you were back in front of him, offering the gift to him.

"Open it," you said, pushing the box into his hands.

Soon enough, the dagger was in his hands, his fingers running over the inlaid crescent moon made of sapphires, then over the blade itself. "This is wonderful, Y/N, thank you," Azriel said, sincerity in his tone. "I happen to have gotten a gift for you as well." A moment later, shadows materialized, depositing a festive, glittery evergreen tree colored bag in his hand.

"Oh, Azriel, you didn't have to-"

"Open it," Azriel said simply, transferring the handles over to your hand in a quick movement.

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, but opened the bag. Inside was a beautiful, hooded cloak that would reach at least your mid back, made of a soft, white yarn. Beneath it was a matching scarf, little tassels on the ends, and a pair of mittens. They even had a small button on the top, allowing for the and of the mitten to be lifted and become a sleeveless glove if needed.

"Its made of rabbit fur," Azriel said quietly as you ran your fingers over the fabric. You looked up at with him with wide eyes. "Oh- they just brush or shave the rabbits, don't worry, no fluffy creatures were killed in the making of your gift," Azriel reassured you.

You let out a breath of relief. "Good. Good. It's a beautiful present, Azriel, thank you. Could I- could I give you a hug?" You asked nervously, regretting the question the moment you asked it. "I mean, you don't have to-"

"That would be fine." You blinked up at him. That would be- You allowed yourself to wrap your arms around him, noticing how stiff he was for the first few seconds before relaxing, his own arms coming up around you.

He smelled nice. Like cedar wood and... And night? Whatever it was, it was nice. Calming.

You both retracted your arms at the same time, pulling apart. A soft smile at him and one last thank you, and then you were in your room once more.

You were happy that he liked your present, but the slight wash of warmth it had given you was quickly chased away by the rest of your day.

Nesta and Elain... You were sure that they would never look at you like a sister again.

And Irina... It was such a silly crush that you had, based almost entirely on how pretty she was. You had been taken with her instantly, yes, breath catching in your throat. But that... That meant nothing.

Especially with you still being... Human. Frail. Less than a century from dying.

No fae, no matter how they looked, would ever take you as their wife, that you were sure of. You only had a couple of decades left of looking youthful, and perhaps only a few more past that before illness would inevitably take you.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you sat at your desk, a cup of tea poured out in the next moment.

At least tea could never not choose you...

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

The next week and a half passed dreadfully slowly, spent mostly in the solitude of your room.

Feyre came by when she could make time, the two of you sharing a pot of tea and the occasional snacks that she would bring.

Mor was stuck in the Hewn City, all the way until the morning of Starfall, when she would have a slight reprieve. She had already promised to come and spend the morning with you to get ready and catch up.

But until then, or until Feyre could make time... You stuck to your room.

Apparently your giving a joint present to Nesta and Cassian, and Elain and Lucien cause some extra anger in the two of them towards you. Nesta's glare had seemed extra fiery, and Elain had appeared perched on Lucien's lap more often than not when you did happen to wander into the living room.

You tried not to let it get to you, you did... But between the extra tension at home and the sadness in your heart from your silly little crush... It was weighing you down.

The days ticked past, counting down to an event that you weren't particularly excited for...

The morning of Starfall arrived, bringing with it the bright ball of energy that was Mor.

"Y/N!" Mor shouted, startling you awake. "Wake up! Wake up wake up! I'm here, I'm here. Please. Wake up. I've missed you!"

"Oh my gods, Mor, I'm awake," you groaned, rubbing your hands over your eyes. "Do you know a gentle way to wake people up?" You asked as you sat up, pushing your hair away from your face.

"Mm, not really. But, my way is super effective," Mor said cheekily, grinning when you stood up in the tub to glare at her with no fire in your eyes. "Come over here, sweets," she demanded, patting the bed next to her. You went over to her, collapsing onto the bed next to her, and swatted at her with a pillow in revenge for her waking you so abruptly. "So, how have the past two weeks been for you?"

"Oh... You know... Boring..." You said quietly. "How's it been for you? Is everyone behaving?"

Mor narrowed her eyes at you for a brief moment, before accepting your change of subject. "Oh, most everyone has been fine... I've been trying very hard to change the city's voting system plus helping plan their Starfall event, so my hands have been full every waking moment. And Keir has been an absolute pain..." Mor sighed. "He doesn't like that he's losing most of his control by the city moving to a full population vote rather than just the nobles, but it's going to happen whether he likes it or not. But for me, that just means him being more of an ass."

"I'm sorry Mor. I wish that someone else was able to help you..."

"Feyre offered, but, well, with her being pregnant that's not the best idea. And I'm sure Amren would enjoy going solely to terrify the citizens, but that's not exactly... What we're aiming for. And I can do it, and I will, I just wish my stupid father wasn't a factor." Mor sighed dramatically and flopped back on your bed, arms flung out to the sides.

One smacked into your thigh and you laughed, pushing it off of you and back over to Mor's side. "I know something that will cheer you up," you offered.

"Oh?" Mor asked, peeking over at you. "And what would that be?"

"Doing our skincare!" You answered brightly, using the same tactic that she always did with you.

"Oh, I should have guessed!" Mor giggled. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, sweets. Let's get to it!"

"Wait- let me take a quick bath first, and then I'll be all ready for it."

Mor nodded. "That sounds fine, I'll go make some tea and grab some breakfast for us."

The morning moved quickly from there- too quickly, in your opinion, your alone time with Mor slipping away so fast. After you had bathed, the two of you did your skincare, doing an extra mask and moisturizer to give yourselves an extra glow.

Into the second pot of tea Mor started doing your makeup once she had seen your dress. She spent nearly an hour on you alone, taking her time to perfect your eyeshadow and lipstick, getting just the right about of blush coloring your cheeks. You felt beautiful, seeing yourself like that in the mirror.

Mor's own makeup didn't take near as long, but she was even more beautiful than usual, with the extra time she had put in.

The two of you spent a bit more time together before she had to leave and return to the Hewn City for a bit longer, to make sure their celebration started smoothly.

"I'll see you at the House of Wind later, yes?" Mor asked before she left your room, a stern eye on you.

You sighed. "Yes, Mor, I will see you at the House of Wind. I won't skip out on the celebration, I promise."

Mor nodded in approval. "Good. I'll see you in a few hours, Y/N."

She breezed out of your room, leaving you alone once again.

You sighed, and sat down on your bed. Then collapsed back onto it.

Just a few more hours, and your anxious anticipation could subside.

Starfall would be fine this year. You will stay away from Nesta, Elain, and their mates, and instead stick around Feyre, Mor, and possibly Azriel, if he didn't seem too annoyed by your presence.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

Four hours later, you were dressed and ready to leave for the House of Wind. Your hair was half pinned up by the hairpin you had bought yourself, half left down in loose curls that conveniently covered most of the bones in your back.

There was little you could do to cover your shoulders, what with the style of the dress, but you felt pretty nonetheless. The gown had been taken in slightly, just enough to fit more snugly and leave you feeling more comfortable with such an exposed neckline, more secure. And the way the skirts flowed around your feet made you feel more graceful than you were.

Overall, you felt decent about yourself tonight. Your hair had cooperated, not making you late for the start of the event by taking too long to style. And the makeup that Mor had done was perfect, just enough to enhance your natural features.

You had even opted for heels tonight, little sparkly silver boots that Feyre had gotten for you, in case you wanted something more than flats to wear.

When you finally left your room, you made your way downstairs where Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel were waiting in the entryway, seemingly for you.

"Oh, Y/N, you look beautiful!" Feyre exclaimed when she caught sight of you, rushing over to pull you into her arms. "I just love this dress on you!"

"Yes, both of you look lovely, but Feyre...?" Rhys started.

"Oh, shoot! We need to get going, Y/N, but Azriel will take you up to the House when you're ready!" Feyre said brightly, leaving the house a moment later and letting her mate take her in his arms, shooting of into the sky together.

Your heart dropped. Flying? You had only flown a few times, usually to get to the House of Wind as you would be tonight. It still terrified you as badly as it did on the first time, leaving you shaking every time.

"Are you ready to leave?" Azriel asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You nodded, and followed him outside, even as you felt like your heart was in your throat at the prospect of flying.

He gently pulled you into his arms, one hooked beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. Your arms instinctively flew around his neck, ready to hold on for dear life.

Not that you didn't trust Azriel to keep you alive, just... You weren't made for flying, you don't think.

The push off from the ground had you closing your eyes, squeezing them shut tight. You could feel your heart racing, trying to leave your chest as you were overtaken by fear.

"You look beautiful tonight," Azriel said, his deep voice in your ear causing your eyes to snap open.

"You don't have to lie..."

Azriel let out a soft breath. "I'm not lying, you look beautiful tonight. Pink is your color, I believe," He said, his voice right in your ear again. Color rushed to your cheeks at his compliment, and you smiled- small, but there.

A moment later, he had landed solidly on the ground, carefully placing you on your feet.

You'd nearly forgotten you had been flying.

Soon after distancing yourself from him, Rhys rushed over to pull him away for some reason or another. Which left you standing alone in the House of Wind, for the first time since Bounty Day.

Anxiety grew in your gut again, making you feel queasy.

Especially when you saw the feast, laid out over that same massive dining table.

You turned away from the banquet, navigating instead to Feyre's side. Already she was surrounded by a few citizens, but you were able to make your way in for a hug from your sister. Soon though, far more crowded in, and following the arrival of Rhys you broke away from your sister, no longer feeling welcome next to them.

You wandered off, searching for Mor in the ever growing sea of people, with no luck yet.

Azriel, the other person you knew that could be safe to talk to, was occupied talking to a very pretty redhead, and also next to Nesta and Cassian.

Definitely a no.

After a while, you filled a small plate with food, picking at the smoked meats, cheeses, and some pieces of fruit until you couldn't stand it anymore, taking the plate back into the kitchens.

Back here, it was quieter. A few stragglers were wandering in and out between the balconies nearby, but you paid them no mind as you got a glass of cool water from the sink.

You let yourself take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, to bring yourself out of your anxiety. It helped, but not much.

It was enough to allow you to wander back out into the party, passing more than enough males who eyed you up and down, leaving you nervous. You were almost tempted to grab a glass of wine, but you knew all that was provided was faerie wine, something that you never wanted to try after hearing some of Feyre's tales involving it.

You knew this dress was a mistake. A beautiful one, yes, but it left you feel exposed unlike every before.

Every few minutes, you circled back to where Feyre was, seeing if there was an opportunity for you to ask her to take you back to the River House, or have someone take you back. But every time you passed, there was somehow more people crowded around Feyre and her mate.

Mor was nowhere to be seen two hours into the party, leaving you adrift in the sea of fae that had overtaken the House of Wind. You were overwhelmed and feeling so alone, the noise of the party drowning out any coherent thoughts you could have.

Just make it to the Starfall, and you can go.

That's what you told yourself for an hour as you continued your slow circles of the main rooms, attempting to find Mor or see if Feyre was available. No luck for you, though.

Cheers erupted as the first streaks of glowing green overtook the sky, giving you your cue to leave.

You didn't care that it was cold and snowy out, you just needed away from the noise, the lights, the everything that always surrounded you.

The stairs were hell in your heeled boots, but you dealt with them, forcing yourself to go one step at a time. By some miracle, you didn't fall, merely ending the massive flight of stairs by sitting down at the bottom to catch your breath.

Tears had begun falling down your cheeks at some point, driven by the cold and how lonely you feel, how forgotten you felt yet again.

You finally pushed yourself off of the cold stone, the bottom of your dress now wet with snow.

The forest would give you the peace you wanted, though you wouldn't venture near as far as you had last time. No, tonight you just wanted a bit of peace, a bit of time with only natural light shining upon you, even if it was enhanced by the cosmic phenomenon going on above you.

Your feet carried you to the edge of Velaris, the forest in your sights. A sigh of relief left you as you saw the trees, so reminiscent of the ones you had grown up near.

And then you crashed into a wall.

"What the-?" You rubbed at your nose, attempting to soothe the pain of crashing into- whatever you had crashed into. You held your hands out, shocked to find that they rested perfectly on an invisible force in front of you. Nothing that you tried let your hands pass that point, and a kick at the area led to the same results- a foot that you knew would hurt badly in the morning.

You couldn't believe it.

They had locked. You. In. They had taken any amount of freedom you could have, no matter how fleeting it would inevitably be.

Ice cold rage and swells of disappointment left you a sobbing mess as you stumbled away from the wall of your cage, following the Sidra with no true destination in mind.

You would not be going back to that house. You couldn't. Not when- when... Not when Feyre had okayed you being locked inside of the city like nothing more than a pet, like you weren't a person with feelings and needs and desires.

You were sick of being alone, sick of feeling alone even in a sea of people. You had no one who was just yours. And that would never change in Velaris, would never change unless you were around humans once more.

"Y/N!" A warm voice said, drawing your eyes from the snow covered ground to the person it came from. "How did the recipe I gave you turn out? Good?" Sevenda asked, her smile turning to a frown when she saw your tear covered, blotchy face. "Is everything okay, dear?"

Another sob left your lips, despite your attempts to quiet it. "I- I- No," you managed to get out.

"Oh, come in here for a minute, Y/N, you're freezing!" Sevenda said, pulling you into the back of her restaurant. She pushed a cup of tea in front of you, which you gladly accepted, your fingers warming instantly from the mug. "Did you want to talk about it?" She asked after a couple of minutes.

You shook your head, but sighed and answered anyways. "I just... I don't belong in that house, I don't belong in Velaris... I can't... I can't keep pretending like I do, acting like I'm happy to be there... I need..." You sighed again. "I need out of there." And then an idea struck you. "I- I know this would be a lot to ask, and that you likely don't need help from a human but... Do you happen to need help here? I could do anything you need, I just..." You trailed off.

"You need out?" Sevenda asked, sympathy on her face and in her voice. "Well, I did lose one of my prep cooks to the Continent recently, he went to study new styles of cooking. If you are serious about this, I will have you show up at nine tomorrow morning. Okay, dear?"

You nodded your head vigorously. "I would be so grateful, Sevenda, truly, thank you so much." You let the older fae pull you into her arms, the gentle hug enough to stop your tears for the moment.

"Are you going to be alright, dear?" She asked once she pulled away, looking you in the eyes. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice at the moment. "Okay. Let me get you a cup of tea to go, and you should go straight home, hmm?"

You let her do just that, accepting the hot jasmine tea in a lidded cup that she made you promise to bring back in the morning. After saying goodbye, you set off in the opposite direction of the River House.

No matter how cold you were, you didn't feel like going back there yet.

Some time later, you found yourself on a cliffside, overlooking the bay of Velaris. Your tea was long gone by now, any warmth it had given you gone with it.

The rocks down below looked so inviting, as though they would welcome you in an instant. You let out a long, heavy breaths, tears beginning to flow again.

You wish you had the strength to jump.

Instead, you sat on the edge of the cliff, booted feet dangling over the side. The snow underneath you was frigid, leaving you colder than before. But still, you sat and watched the waves, and listened to the crash on the rocks below.

"Y/N?" A deep voice asked from behind you, but you paid it no mind. Maybe they would leave you alone. "Y/N?" The voice asked again. After another length of silence from you, the person took another approach, and sat next to you instead, their own long legs dangling over the edge. A warmth behind you, and less wind hitting you after the male readjusted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You still didn't answer.

Instead, you were surprised by gentle hands winding a scarf around your neck in two loops, then a cloak being fastened over your head and buttoned in the front, and finally a pair of mittens slid over your hand.

Azriel didn't make you talk, didn't make you do anything. He simply let you take the time you needed to recover, to stop your tears.

A while later, the waves started to lull you to sleep, your head tilting to the side until Azriel pulled it to his arm, letting you rest against him. Your eyes fluttered shut, your cheek soaking in the warmth of him, even through the hood of your cloak.

It was only when you nearly pitched forward off the cliff that Azriel insisted on taking you back to the River House, or at least to a café where you could warm up.

"I suppose..." your voice cracked. "That going back to the River House would be... fine... for now," you whispered, glad that he didn't force you to speak any more. A moment later and you were pulled through shadows, similarly to how Nuala and Cerridwen travelled but... different in a way. Almost warmer, you would say.

The two of you appeared in front of your bedroom door, the warm air shocking your skin and making you feel clammy.

"I'll have my shadows bring you a pot of tea, feel free to take a bath or change so you can warm up, Y/N. I hope you have a better night that it has been so far," Azriel said quietly before turning to leave.

"Thank you, Azriel," you croaked just before he turned to go down the stairs. He gave you a small smile and nodded before continuing on his way.

You entered your bedroom, tears falling almost instantly once you were alone again. You forced yourself to strip, hanging up the pink gown to dry and setting your sparkly boots near the door. The bath felt soothing, at least, warming you to the core by the time you got out.

And there, awaiting you on your desk, was a fresh pot of the lavender and chamomile tea that you preferred for sleep.

A few extra tears fell at that small act of kindness, and you helped yourself to a still steaming cup of it, settling into the armchair that you had perpetually pulled near your window, a throw blanket across your body.

Sleep claimed you before you had even finished your second cup of tea.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

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[clementineinn]

call me on the line

abstract: when the BAU investigates a string of disappearances in the forgotten logging town of Stillwater, Washington, two agents are sent to question a possible lead — deep in the woods, where a storm is rising, and the line between hunter and hunted begins to blur.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (usage of Y/N)

genre: angst / fluff

word count: deadass, you don't want to know. but it's long.

note: did i make this longer than it had to be? 1,000 percent yes. but finals are lowk kicking my ass so i let myself just go off on this. writing angst is kind of hard for me bc i love fluff, so if it's cringe SORRY LOL. also, it's not really proofread so, ignore any misspelled words. enjoy :)

The case had the air of something unfinished. Not cold, exactly—but quiet. Unsettling.

Stillwater, Washington wasn’t a town you stumbled into—it was a place you had to mean to find. Tucked between jagged peaks and black-needled evergreens, the logging town had once thrived on sawdust and sweat, its heartbeat synced to the drone of machinery and the scent of fresh-cut pine. But that was decades ago. Now the mills were silent, the tracks rusted over. Paint peeled in long, curling strips from shuttered storefronts, and hand-painted For Sale signs clung stubbornly to rotting fences.

It had the kind of quiet that didn’t feel peaceful.

It felt like watching eyes. Like a breath held just behind the trees.

Four disappearances in under eight weeks hadn’t made it past the usual bureaucratic filters—until one of them had a last name that opened doors. The niece of the mayor had vanished without a trace, and the calls went higher. Stillwater finally showed up on someone’s desk. That’s when the Bureau had been called in.

Now, the BAU team was crowded into the back room of the sheriff’s office, where the walls were stained an old tobacco yellow and a ceiling fan turned in slow, listless circles overhead. The air smelled of mildew, old paper, and coffee gone to burn.

A radio crackled somewhere in the front office, too far away to catch words. The rain had picked up again—sharp now, rhythmic, like fingernails tapping against the tin roof. It filled the silences between breaths, between theories.

A map of Stillwater was pinned to the far wall, dotted with pushpins and red-thread lines. Property boundaries faded at the edges, roads narrowing into nothing. The forest swallowed everything beyond a certain point.

And that’s where they were headed.

Soon.

Hotch stood at the front of the room, arms crossed, jaw tight. He didn’t like unknowns. Didn’t like how much of the town seemed to exist in whispers and folklore.

Reid’s fingers moved restlessly against the file in his lap, flipping pages he’d already memorized. Morgan leaned against a cabinet, the tension in his shoulders more visible than he thought. Emily paced, silent, her boots creaking on warped linoleum.

And Y/N sat still—too still—in the corner, her gaze fixed on the map, brows furrowed just slightly. As if she’d already seen something there the rest hadn’t.

“We’re working on the assumption that the unsub is someone local,” Hotch said, voice low but unwavering, the kind of tone that cut clean through the hum of bad coffee machines and rain-heavy silence. His hand swept across the makeshift evidence board—grainy photos, hand-drawn maps, weather-stained documents clipped under yellowing light. “None of the victims traveled far from home. No forced entry, no signs of struggle. Whoever this is… they’re moving through the cracks. Operating in the blind spots.”

The storm outside clawed at the edges of the sheriff’s office, wind rattling the single-pane windows. Fluorescent lights buzzed faintly overhead.

Garcia’s voice crackled over the speakerphone, the brightness of her tone oddly eerie against the static interference from the rain: “I did some digging on anyone who might’ve had a reason to watch those woods closely, and a name came up—Walter Massey. Sixty-eight, retired forest ranger, lives alone near Deadman’s Ridge. He filed multiple complaints with Fish and Wildlife about unregistered hunting trails about three weeks before the first disappearance. That’s a breadcrumb if I’ve ever seen one.”

JJ flipped open a manila folder, brows furrowed. “Massey was also the last confirmed person to speak with one of the missing women. No phone record, but she was seen heading in his direction on a convenience store camera the day she vanished.”

“He has a cabin out past the old ridge road,” she added. “Next nearest neighbor is two miles downhill. Closest cell reception’s even farther.”

Emily leaned forward, arms crossed. “Could be nothing. He could’ve just seen something—or someone—he didn’t know how to explain. Or he might be too scared to come forward.”

“Or he’s a link to someone who is,” Rossi muttered, eyes never leaving the board.

Hotch gave a tight nod, arms crossed as his gaze swept the photos pinned to the board, then flicked toward the map spread across the center table. The rain outside hammered the windows in steady rhythm, underscoring every word.

“Either way, we talk to him,” he said. “Quietly. No flashing badges. No tactical presence. If Massey’s involved, we don’t want him running. If he’s just a frightened old man…” His jaw tightened. “We don’t want him shutting down.”

He turned, addressing the team with that low, clipped authority that didn’t invite questions — just motion.

“Emily, JJ — keep working the geographical profile. Focus on any repeat paths near Deadman’s Ridge. If he’s stalking the victims beforehand, he’s walking terrain he knows.”

He looked next to Morgan. “Coordinate with the sheriff. I want a list of locals with military backgrounds and hunting violations within the last ten years. Start with rangers. Forestry. Anyone who knows the woods well enough to vanish inside them.”

Then Hotch turned back to the table. To Spencer—then Y/N beside him.

“You two take the Massey interview.”

Spencer straightened slightly, nodding once. Y/N didn’t move, but her posture shifted — alert, coiled like she was already halfway in the field. The weight of the assignment passed between them like a silent current.

Hotch’s gaze lingered a beat longer. “No pressure. Just a conversation. If anything feels off, you pull back. Clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Y/N said, steady.

The room moved around them again — chairs scraping, files opening, murmured replies. But Spencer only glanced sideways, eyes catching hers just briefly.

No pressure.

Just a cabin in the woods.

Spencer dipped his head in a silent nod, already flipping the page in his notebook, though his hand paused briefly on the paper in front of him—just for a second, a flicker of tension behind his eyes.

Not fear. Just the quiet knowledge that something about this wasn’t sitting right.

But Y/N didn’t say anything. Just squared her shoulders, voice level. “We’ll head out now.”

Spencer glanced at her as they rose—catching that flicker again. Just long enough to feel it echo.

Morgan leaned forward in his chair, the legs creaking faintly beneath him. His arms were folded tight across his chest, the sleeves of his jacket pushed up just enough to show the tension in his forearms. Rain hammered the roof above them in steady pulses, the storm pressing harder against the windows with every gust.

“That cabin’s deep,” he said, voice rough around the edges. “Trees out there are old. Thick. Signal won’t last long once you hit the ridgeline.”

He wasn’t scaremongering, just stating facts. The kind of facts that only came from years of walking into places no one came back from easily.

“We’ll stay in range,” Spencer said, nodding as he adjusted the settings on the handheld GPS unit. The small screen flickered in the dim light.

But Morgan didn’t answer right away. His eyes drifted, settling on Y/N.

He dropped his voice.

“Just… be careful out there,” he said.

There wasn’t a joke in it. No usual smirk. Just a quiet weight, something steady and weather-worn, like he’d seen too many people walk into places like this thinking they were fine—until they weren’t.

His gaze held hers.

“This feels like the kind of case that turns on you when you stop looking.”

For a moment, the room fell quiet but for the scratch of JJ’s pen and the whisper of the storm.

Y/N tried for a smile, soft and crooked. One corner of her mouth lifted just enough to pass for ease.

“You always say that.”

“Because it’s always true.”

Morgan stepped closer, his boots quiet on the worn linoleum. He stopped just beside her, voice dropping low—meant only for her and Spencer.

“I know you like to play calm,” he murmured. “But you don’t have to prove anything. Not to us. Just come back in one piece.”

Y/N blinked—slow, measured. For a second, her eyes flicked away.

And then, true to form, she bumped his elbow gently with hers.

“You’re getting soft on me, Morgan.”

He snorted under his breath. “You wish.”

They shared a look—mocking on the surface, playful even—but there was something else beneath it. Something older than the case, older than the moment. Trust carved out of too many nights watching each other’s backs in godforsaken places.

Morgan stepped back. Spencer shifted beside her, glancing down at the map again.

Hotch handed over the file without ceremony, the folder already creased at the edges from too many hands. His expression didn’t shift—still carved in quiet stone—but there was something in the way his eyes held theirs, a flicker of weight that went unsaid.

“According to county records,” he said, his voice low and even over the soft rumble of rain, “Massey’s property has one road in.”

Y/N took the folder, her fingers brushing briefly against Spencer’s as he leaned in to glance at the top page. The map was crude. Hand-drawn annotations. The kind that didn’t inspire confidence.

Hotch continued. “Narrow. Gravel. Unmaintained.”

He looked to them both.

“Use the Jeep.”

There was no room for argument in his tone—only the practiced cadence of someone who’d seen too many search parties stall because the wrong car bottomed out before the trailhead.

The overhead lights flickered once as the storm deepened, shadows slanting across the faded floorboards. Y/N gave a single nod, sharp and controlled, and tucked the file under her arm. Spencer followed, the weight of the assignment already settling between them like mist.

One road in. No promises about getting back out.

Y/N zipped her coat — a tailored dove-gray trench that framed her silhouette like it had been made for her. The collar stood slightly askew, catching the light with the faintest sheen of rain-soft wool. Beneath it, a blouse in the softest shade of lilac peeked through — silk, high-necked, and delicately ruched at the shoulders. It tucked seamlessly into crisp white slacks, expertly pressed, the hem brushing just above pale suede boots that clicked softly on the concrete floor.

She looked like she belonged in a courtroom or a gallery opening — not a muddy precinct hallway. But somehow, she always managed both. A study in contrast. Formidable. Graceful.

Spencer watched as she lifted her arms and swept her hair back — slow, efficient, thoughtless in its elegance. Her fingers worked easily, pulling the strands into a low knot at the base of her skull. Her hair, even when gathered, fell in wispy waves around the edges. Loose strands curled around her ears, temple, neck — impossibly soft, like the inside of a flower petal.

One wisp curled across her cheek, fine as a brushstroke, and rested just at the edge of her lips.

He couldn’t help it — he stared.

Not inappropriately. Just quietly. Like his eyes couldn’t quite let go.

He desperately wanted to reach out and tuck that loose strand behind her ear — the one that danced every time she turned her head, feather-light against the curve of her cheek. It would’ve taken barely a movement. Just two fingers. A breath of courage.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he swallowed the impulse, let the ache lodge quietly beneath his ribs, and cleared his throat like it might shake something loose.

His eyes dropped back to the map in his hands — too fast, too pointed — as if they hadn’t just been tracing the delicate fall of her hair, the light pooling in it like water catching sun.

As if he hadn’t almost reached for her at all.

Then, against his better judgment — against the quiet thrum of logic that always tried to keep him grounded — he looked up again.

Just for a second.

But it was enough.

The curve of her jaw, the way her lashes kissed the top of her cheekbone when she glanced down, the almost imperceptible rise and fall of her shoulders as she settled her coat more squarely around them — he took it all in like a man starved for something he couldn’t name.

There was a steadiness to her, a kind of elegant gravity that drew his gaze whether he meant to or not. She didn’t just walk into a room — she inhabited it, quiet but certain, the way a candle settles into flame.

And for a breath — a single, weightless breath — he let himself look.

Y/N caught the movement, just barely.

Her eyes flicked toward him — not sharp, not teasing, but knowing. A soft glance, almost accidental, that met his and held it just long enough to say I saw that.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to.

Instead, she turned her head, adjusting her holster with practiced precision, her expression smoothing into something steady and composed.

The moment passed. Filed away between them.

Then it was gone — smoothed over with the practiced ease of someone who knew when to draw the line between charm and duty.

Her voice cut cleanly through the low hum of the room—measured, even, with just enough lift to draw attention without sounding urgent.

“Anything else we should know?”

Y/N didn’t look directly at anyone in particular, though her question angled toward Hotch. Her posture remained composed, the press of her palm against the grip of her holster casual but intentional—like muscle memory. Her other hand smoothed a slight crease in her light wool coat, the pale fabric catching dull gold light beneath the ceiling fan’s slow, uneven spin.

Garcia’s voice crackled over the line, bright and tinny through the static. “Only that Massey hasn’t answered his landline in over a week — but that’s not exactly uncommon. He’s more tree than man at this point.”

There was a short pause. A raindrop struck the window with a hollow tap.

Y/N’s brow arched, mouth quirking—not a full smile, but enough to show she was still listening, still present.

“Excellent,” she murmured, deadpan.

The room shifted faintly around her—Morgan exhaling through his nose, Emily’s mouth twitching in restraint. Spencer glanced at her, caught between fondness and concern, but she was already sliding the safety of her sidearm back into place. Calm. Professional. Sardonic, even when the air was thick with something heavier.

The storm outside groaned louder. But Y/N just reached for her coat collar and adjusted it with a practiced flick, already moving.

Spencer tucked the folder under his arm and followed her out into the drizzle. The air was sharp with the smell of pine needles and wet earth. Cold enough to sting, not enough to snow.

Y/N moved ahead of him without a word, boots scuffing lightly against the wet pavement, keys already in hand. Her coat caught the wind as she moved, the hem lifting just slightly before falling back in place. Her hair, still pinned into a smooth low knot, gleamed faintly under the lot’s overhead lights, rain-softened tendrils escaping to cling along her cheek and temple.

The Jeep door gave a low creak as she swung into the driver’s seat, motion fluid, practiced. She adjusted the mirrors like she’d done it a hundred times before, fingers moving with quiet assurance, sleeves pushed up just far enough to reveal a thin silver bracelet at her wrist — the only bit of ornamentation she ever wore in the field.

Spencer slid into the passenger seat, his coat damp where it clung to his shoulders. The door closed behind him with a muted thud. Inside, the air felt still. Sheltered. The faint scent of lavender and leather and coffee grounds clung to the cab like memory.

He glanced sideways.

Y/N was buckling her seatbelt one-handed, the other brushing droplets of rain from the cuff of her sleeve. Her jaw was set, lashes still wet, the curve of her mouth unreadable as she turned the key in the ignition. The engine rumbled to life, a low, steady purr beneath them.

Outside, the trees swayed against a sky that hadn’t quite let go of the storm.

Spencer’s voice came quiet. Careful. “Think he’ll talk?”

Y/N didn’t answer right away. Her hand turned the key, and the engine stirred to life beneath them — a low, steady rumble that filled the hush like a second heartbeat. Her gaze lingered on the road ahead, eyes narrowing slightly as the rain skated across the windshield in whispering arcs.

And then — something softer.

She glanced over at him.

Spencer sat with one hand loosely curled in his lap, the other resting near the passenger-side door. His coat — charcoal gray, collar turned up just slightly from the weather — was still damp around the shoulders, drops clinging like glass beads to the fabric. A soft blue oxford peeked from beneath, the edge of his tie tucked neatly down, a shade somewhere between plum and midnight.

His hair was drying in unruly curls, the kind that always sprang free no matter how many times he tried to flatten them with nervous fingers. One lock in particular hung just above his brow — curled and dark and boyish in a way that made her heart catch for reasons she didn’t often name.

But it was his face she lingered on.

The angle of his jaw — elegant, sloped like a sculpture just slightly unfinished. High cheekbones flushed faintly from the cold. His skin, pale but not sickly, with the kind of delicate texture that caught every shadow and turned it poetic.

And his throat — she didn’t know why that part always struck her — but the long, clean column of it moved as he swallowed, Adam’s apple shifting subtly under skin. A tension there. A thought not yet spoken.

Then his eyes — always his eyes.

That soft, impossible shade: somewhere between warm hazel and the color of honey in shadow. Eyes that could go wide with childlike wonder one second, and dark with knowledge the next. Now, they watched her carefully, the way he always did — not intrusive, not pressing. Just waiting. Open.

Still, she didn’t answer.

Just studied him in the silence, her fingers unconsciously tightening around the steering wheel like they were holding something else in place.

And then — she smiled. Just a little. Just to herself.

“If he’s who we think he is? Yeah,” Y/N said, her voice steady — not clipped this time, but level. Assured, because Spencer had asked.

She didn’t take her eyes off the road — it was narrowing now, damp earth darkened by the rain, pines arching overhead like ribs. But she glanced his way just enough to let him know she was listening. That she always did.

Then her hands tightened slightly on the wheel — not fear, but anticipation. Her shoulders didn’t tense, but something in her posture shifted. Focused. Alert.

“But if something’s off out there,” she added, “we’ll feel it before it hits.”

She paused, only long enough to exhale — a breath that filled the space where silence might’ve gone. Then she continued, voice lower now, but still laced with that dry, familiar wit he’d come to memorize.

“And we’ll deal with it. Like we always do.”

Spencer glanced sideways at her. The road curved ahead, shadows crowding the edge of the tree line, but her expression hadn’t changed. Calm. Sharp. The kind of calm you could lean on if the world cracked in half.

He didn’t respond right away — didn’t need to. She’d already answered the part of him that hadn’t made it into words.

Then she added, almost too casually, “And if I get shot, I’m haunting this Jeep. You’re never playing jazz in here again.”

Spencer glanced over at her, brow raised. “I don’t play jazz.”

“Exactly,” she said, with a little smirk. “It’d be a tragedy. Think of the acoustics.”

He let the corner of his mouth twitch, but the worry didn’t leave his eyes. “Don’t say that,” he said softly. “I worry about you.”

Her smile flickered, just for a heartbeat.

Then, without looking, she reached over and gave his knee a gentle squeeze — not quick, not rushed, just soft and familiar, like it was second nature. “You’re cute when you’re concerned. All furrowed brows and fidgety hands.”

Spencer blinked.

Twice.

And then sat up just a little straighter in his seat, hands fidgeting with the folder in his lap as though the paper had suddenly become very complicated.

“I—uh,” he started, clearing his throat like it might help him form a coherent sentence. “I don’t… do that. Exactly.”

But his ears told a different story — the pink rising fast beneath the ends of his hair, climbing like a confession he couldn’t quite swallow.

Y/N didn’t look over, but the corner of her mouth curved just slightly knowingly.

Outside, the trees loomed closer—still and watchful.

Inside the Jeep, the air was warmer. Charged. Quiet.

Not safe, but close.

The tires crunched over gravel as they pulled away from the sheriff’s station, the sound sharp and hollow beneath the growing hush of the woods. The world beyond the windshield blurred in shades of green and gray—fir branches heavy with rain, trunks slick with moss and time. Water clung to the windows in thin, trembling streaks, catching light like veins of glass.

Y/N kept one hand steady on the wheel, the other shifting gears with a smooth, practiced touch. Her eyes were fixed ahead—alert, but calm. The low clouds muted the light across her features, softening the curve of her jaw, casting pale shadows beneath her cheekbones. Again, a single strand of hair had slipped loose from behind her ear, curling along her temple, but still, she didn’t seem to notice.

Spencer watched her in that quiet way he always did, half out of habit, half out of awe. The shape of her profile had become familiar in the way only long hours and quiet car rides could make it — the slope of her nose, the way her mouth twitched slightly when she was thinking, the calm stillness she wore like armor.

She looked relaxed. Or—she had, until the forest deepened and the gravel began to thin beneath them.

It was subtle. Barely there.

But Spencer always noticed when it came to Y/N.

He noticed when she was happy, when her laughter hit a little higher in her chest. He noticed when she was tired, the way she rubbed at her temple with the back of her hand. And he noticed now—how her fingers tightened just slightly around the steering wheel. Not tense, not afraid. Just anchoring.

Her shoulders had crept a little higher, her posture shifting with the faintest trace of something coiled. Her breathing changed too—not loud, not shaky, but quieter. Calibrated.

Her eyes flicked toward the blur of evergreens passing the window, landing on something between the trees that he couldn’t see—but she could. Her jaw had settled tighter, not clenched exactly. Just bracing.

And that was all it took.

Spencer’s gaze didn’t leave her. He didn’t ask yet. Didn’t press. But he knew her. Every mood. Every flicker of emotion she didn’t want to show. 

He didn’t say anything at first. Just watched her from the corner of his eye as they bumped along the narrowing road, the Jeep swaying gently with each dip and rise.

The forest pressed in thicker now—trunks close, shadows dense, branches arcing overhead like a tunnel built from dusk. The sky had dimmed to a washed-out gray-blue, streaked with low, restless clouds. The kind of light that made everything look slightly unreal. Suspended.

Beside him, Y/N’s focus hadn’t wavered. But he could see the change in her.

He’d watched her do this a dozen times before—lock herself in, pull steady, stay quiet. And once, not so long ago, she’d noticed it in him.

Had reached over and tried to pull him back to center with nothing more than a quiet touch and a crooked smile.

Now he did the same.

As they rounded a bend and the cabin finally came into view—half-shadowed, still, like a smear of darkness at the end of the trail—Spencer reached over.

His hand settled on her knee. Gently. Warm and steady through the soft fabric of her pale slacks.

He didn’t say anything. Just let the contact speak.

She blinked, just once, and turned her head slightly toward him. Not enough to take her eyes off the road — just enough for him to see the flicker of surprise soften into something smaller. Something quiet.

“You okay?” he asked, voice low. Careful.

Her answer came after a beat — a breath. She nodded once and offered him a smile. Easy, almost light.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Probably just cold.”

But it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

And he knew her well enough to see it. The way she carried unease like a private secret — tucked neatly beneath her professionalism, beneath the steady hands and quiet confidence. He gave her knee the faintest squeeze, then let his hand fall back to his lap.

She didn’t say anything else. Just kept her eyes on the road, that smile fading to something quieter. More thoughtful.

When they finally reached the property, it emerged without warning — a jagged clearing carved into the forest like a scar, sudden and jarring beneath the darkening sky. The last sliver of daylight had already given up the fight, swallowed by the storm clouds pressing low and mean above the trees. What little light remained was the dull, coppered sheen of dying sun behind a curtain of gray, thickening by the minute as the rain picked up again — steady, cold, and relentless.

The cabin sat hunched in the middle of the clearing like it was trying to disappear into itself. Sagging at the roofline, its edges blurred in the mist, it didn’t look like it had been built so much as abandoned mid-thought and left to rot. Water streaked down the wood siding, gray and splintered, veins of moss threading between the boards like old scars. Shingles peeled from the roof like curling bark, flapping weakly in the wind. Ivy clung to one side of the structure, wet and slick, gripping like desperate fingers.

A rusted pickup truck leaned just off the gravel, half-sunk into the earth. One tire had collapsed entirely, and the windshield was filmed with grime. Moss clung thick across the hood, glinting damp in the half-light. The rear bumper was hanging loose, barely attached. An old blue tarp lay crumpled nearby, water pooling in its folds, its color leeched pale as bone.

Near the porch stood a battered rain barrel, the metal sides dented inward like something had struck it hard once and never cared to fix it. It was brim-full with black water, still and viscous. Leaves floated on the surface, already turning to pulp.

The porch itself looked no better. Boards bowed and cracked under years of rot, the whole frame tilting just enough to be unsettling. A mesh screen door hung half-off its hinges, the bottom corner torn, tapping irregularly in the wind like a slow, reluctant metronome. Thunder growled somewhere in the distance, low and constant.

Inside, the windows showed nothing. No movement. No glow. Just pale curtains stirring faintly — or maybe not at all — behind glass long gone cloudy. It didn’t feel empty.

It felt like it was waiting.

And the storm, as if answering that silent promise, surged harder around them — wind pressing against the car, the trees creaking in warning.

Y/N eased the Jeep to a stop, the tires crunching softly over damp gravel. Her hand slipped from the wheel and dropped into her lap, slow and deliberate, like something inside her had stalled with it.

She didn’t move.

Didn’t blink.

Her eyes were fixed on the cabin just ahead—at the crooked front steps, the sagging roofline, the stillness that pressed against the windows like a held breath.

Spencer looked at her, not the house.

“You’re quiet,” he said gently. “What, nothing smart to say about the murder shack in the woods?”

That earned him a ghost of a smile.

But it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

She inhaled slowly, eyes still on the porch.

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “Something just feels… off.”

The wind moved through the trees then — not in a rush, but in a long, drawn-out exhale. It slipped between the trunks of the evergreens like a ghost, brushing needles aside with soundless fingers. It twisted around the Jeep in thin, spectral threads, pressing against the windows like it was trying to peer inside. A shiver of motion stirred the underbrush and carried the scent of rain-drenched soil and wood gone soft with rot.

It wasn’t stillness. Not really. It was silence with intent. A hush that hummed with something just beneath it — like the forest itself had stopped to listen.

Spencer felt it in the hollow beneath his ribs. A pressure that wasn’t pain, but wasn’t peace either. He shifted slightly in his seat, hand hovering near the door handle, fingers flexing once before curling tight. His eyes lingered on her — not the cabin. Never the cabin.

Y/N sat rigid in the driver’s seat, posture straight, every line of her body coiled with purpose. The faint light through the windshield brushed her features in silver — sharp across the line of her cheek, soft at the curve of her jaw. Her gaze had narrowed. Not alarmed. Just focused. Sharpened.

She felt it too.

Then, without a word, she moved.

The door creaked open, the sound swallowed almost instantly by the hush outside. The cabin lights flickered and died as the wind caught the door’s edge and pulled it wider — a breathless kind of opening. She stepped out with quiet precision, boots meeting the soft, saturated forest floor and sinking half a step into moss and old needles. Her coat flared slightly behind her in the gust, dark fabric whipping once around her legs before settling. Her hand slipped beneath the lapel of her blazer, fingers brushing the grip of her weapon — not drawn, but near.

The air around them felt dense. Drenched. Cold enough to cling to the skin.

Spencer followed, slower. The door closed behind him with a quiet thud, more final than it had any right to be. He slipped the GPS into the inner pocket of his coat, his fingers pale at the edges from how tight they gripped it. His eyes moved over the clearing with care — from the twisted vines along the base of the trees, to the rust-streaked pickup hunched by the treeline, to the warped wooden steps that led to the cabin.

Each one sagged with age, dark with moisture and furred in places with moss. The porch looked as if it would groan beneath a whisper of weight.

The clearing was still — painfully so.

No birdsong. No snap of twigs. Not even the distant hum of insects.

Just the soft rattle of the mesh screen door, its bottom corner torn, banging irregularly against the frame like a warning. The solid door behind it stood shut. 

Unmoved. Unreadable.

Faded paint curled from the panels, flaking like dry skin, as if the house was trying to peel itself away from whatever lingered behind it.

And above it all — the clouds pressed heavier. Storm-wet. Thunder rolled low and slow in the distance like something circling. Watching and waiting. 

Spencer stepped up beside her. Neither of them spoke.

But both of them felt it.

“Walter Massey?” Y/N called out, her tone firm but even, just loud enough to carry through the trees. “This is Agent Y/L/N with the FBI. I’m here with my partner, Dr. Spencer Reid. We just want to ask you a few questions.”

Nothing.

No footsteps creaking across old floorboards. No shadow shifting behind the warped lace of the curtains. 

No sound at all—except the wind.

It threaded through the trees like a murmured secret, brushing past the cabin with delicate, eerie intent. A breath against the siding. A whisper through the loose gutter. It rustled pine boughs and dead leaves on the porch in soft, spiraling motions—as if it knew something they didn’t. As if it had been waiting for this.

The mesh screen door swayed once, clicking faintly against the wood. Beyond it, the heavy main door stood silent and still, paint cracked in jagged lines like old scars. Just watching.

Spencer stepped up beside her, frowning as he scanned the shadowed windows. “Maybe he’s around back,” he said, though the uncertainty in his voice gave him away.

Y/N called out again, projecting just enough to reach through the stillness.

“Mr. Massey? We’re not here to arrest you. We just need to speak with you. If you’re inside, could you come to the door?”

Silence.

Not the kind that felt accidental.

The kind that felt chosen.

Y/N glanced at Spencer, then eased the screen door open with the back of her hand, careful not to smudge the handle. The hinges creaked softly, the sound swallowed by the mist-thick air.

Spencer stepped up beside her, eyes scanning the porch, the roofline, the stillness pressed into every crack of the old wood.

“This doesn’t feel right,” he murmured.

Y/N gave a small nod, more to herself than to him, her hand tightening instinctively around the grip of her gun.

With a sharp breath, she drew her weapon—fluid, practiced, no hesitation—but her posture shifted in a way Spencer rarely saw. Not just alert. Guarded. Protective.

She stepped in front of him before he could speak, placing her body squarely between him and the door. One hand briefly touched his chest—not forceful, just enough pressure to guide him back. Her fingers lingered there for a beat too long.

It wasn’t protocol. 

“I’ll take point,” she said, voice low and steady, but softer than usual. “You stay behind me.”

She didn’t turn to look at him, but she didn’t need to. The tension in her shoulders said it all. The subtle tremor in her breath. The way her body shifted like a shield between him and whatever was waiting inside.

She joked a lot. Always had.

But not now.

Now, she was dead quiet.

And she was ready to take the hit before it ever got to him.

Spencer opened his mouth—maybe to argue, maybe to offer something else—but the set of her jaw made him pause.

He just nodded—once, tightly. The motion small, but sure. There was a gravity to it. The kind that came from knowing there was no turning back.

His hand brushed against the fabric of her sleeve as he stepped forward, barely a touch—but enough to tether him to the moment, to her.

And then he followed.

Whatever was waiting inside the cabin had already started listening. There was a gravity to it. The kind that came from knowing there was no turning back.

Y/N stepped ahead, boots pressing softly into the damp wood of the porch, her body angled with trained precision. The mesh screen door creaked as she eased it further back, and in the same breath, her hand came up — steady, firm — guiding the barrel of her gun to the door’s edge.

The main door gave way with a low groan. Wood strained against rusted hinges as it swung open, slow and grudging, like the house itself was reluctant to let them in.

It wasn’t locked.

That alone rooted something cold and shapeless in the pit of her stomach — a sense that curled low and tight behind her ribs.

Spencer felt it too. He didn’t have to say it.

Cabins like this didn’t stay unlocked. Not in towns like Stillwater. Not with four people missing.

The door swung inward on a breath of cold air, and immediately, the smell hit her.

Pinewood, sharp and resinous—what should have been comforting—but laced now with something metallic and wet. The bitter, iron-wrought scent of something that had bled too long into the floorboards.

And beneath that, something older.

A rot that didn’t belong to nature. Stale carpet. Damp mold. The cloying, sour note of a refrigerator long left without power. It wrapped around them like old breath, like something exhaled by a house that hadn’t seen life in weeks—but still remembered the shape of it.

Y/N stepped inside first, every footfall deliberate. The floor creaked beneath her boots, the sound echoing too loud in a space that felt like it had been holding its breath.

The air was thick. Heavy. It clung to her coat, her skin, the back of her tongue. Wrong. Not empty or abandoned. Just waiting.

Y/N slipped through the doorway first, silent as a shadow, her weapon raised and steady. Her eyes swept left to right in quick, surgical passes, cataloguing the space in layers. The sharp angles of furniture. The thin shaft of gray light cutting through a crack in the boarded window. Dust spiraling in the beam like falling ash.

Her body stayed close to the wall, a breath away from the peeling paneling, boots placed with deliberate care on the worn floorboards to avoid giving herself away.

Spencer followed, just behind her—close enough to match her rhythm, but not close enough to disrupt her line of movement. His hand hovered near the grip of his firearm, fingers curled just shy of drawing it, every nerve thrumming with silent urgency. The weight of the weapon was grounding, familiar—but the air around him felt anything but. Cold. Pressurized. Like the storm outside had seeped in through the walls and settled beneath his skin. The air inside the cabin was colder than it had any right to be, clinging damply to his skin, to his throat. Like the house had its own lungs and was breathing around them.

A small table lay overturned just inside the entryway, its legs twisted at awkward angles like they’d been kicked or dropped. Two mugs lay beside it—one intact, the other shattered into a fan of ceramic shards, edges dulled by dust. Liquid long since dried had stained the floor beneath them a dark, reddish-brown. It wasn’t blood. It might’ve been tea. But it looked like a spill no one had cleaned up; like someone had planned to and then never got the chance.

Spencer crouched for a closer look, fingers tracing the uneven trail of footprints smeared into the dirt between the broken pieces.

“This wasn’t recent,” he whispered. His voice barely carried, but it pressed into Y/N’s spine all the same.

She didn’t answer. Just nodded once, jaw set tight.

They moved forward together—past the narrow hallway, where the faded wallpaper had begun to peel at the edges, curling like old parchment. The floor creaked beneath their weight, long and low, like something waking up beneath them.

They entered the den.

It was darker here. The light didn’t reach as far. The room felt sunken somehow, like the cabin had settled too deep into the earth. The ceiling sloped low above them, pressing down like a held breath.

Hunting gear lined the walls—bows, empty gun racks, a mounted buck’s head with glassy, dust-covered eyes. The fireplace beneath it was cold and lifeless, filled with half-burnt logs and ash long gone damp. A copper kettle sat off to the side, untouched.

Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust.

Except for one thing.

A single trail of muddy boot prints.

They cut across the wooden floor—messy, staggered, the pattern uneven. They led toward the far archway where the kitchen opened up, shadowed and still.

Spencer’s eyes tracked the prints. Something about the weight distribution was wrong. The left boot dragged just slightly. A limp?

Y/N moved ahead, muzzle of her gun rising with each slow step.

Then—

A crash. Not loud. Sharp. Sudden.

Metal against wood. The sound of something falling, something moving.

Then silence.

A birdshot of adrenaline spiked through Spencer’s chest. Y/N whipped her gun toward the sound, shoulders tight, finger ghosting the trigger.

They both froze.

In the stillness, every sound grew louder: the tick of something dripping in the next room, the groan of the wind outside, the faint electrical buzz of a dying bulb overhead.

Spencer’s breath caught.

Then—a door slammed open.

Hard.

The edge of it cracked into Y/N’s temple with a sickening thud, sending her stumbling backward into the wall. Her head snapped sideways, blood already welling where the wood had split her skin. The world tilted around her—sharp and white-hot—but she didn’t fall.

She didn’t even hesitate.

Her body jerked forward on instinct, staggering back into the hallway, gun half-raised, breath heaving, vision already blurring around the edges.

That’s when he came.

The figure burst from the bedroom like a wrecking force—tall, gaunt, clothes hanging loose over sharp shoulders, eyes blown wide with manic rage. A shotgun was clutched in both hands, its muzzle swinging like a compass needle toward chaos.

Y/N threw herself forward, arm reaching toward Spencer—

But she was a second too late.

The butt of the shotgun slammed into the side of Spencer’s head, full force, a brutal crack of bone on bone.

His body crumpled immediately, knees buckling. He collapsed in a heap beside her, eyes glassy, breath shuddering.

“Spence—!” Y/N shouted, the sound strangled by pain, voice cracking through the cabin like a whip, raw and full of alarm.

Her gun was up in a breath.

The motion was smooth—reflex, born from training and repetition—but what followed was anything but automatic.

The world sharpened around her. The air seemed to crystallize. Every sound pulled inward: the creak of wood beneath shifting weight, the faint tick of the cabin cooling in the silence, the whisper of breath between her teeth.

And then—Spencer, on the floor.

Still.

The sight knocked the air from her lungs.

Blood curled from the side of his head in a slow, serpentine trail — dark, too dark, in stark relief against the pale, fragile stretch of his skin. It traced the curve of his temple, threading through the fine strands of his hair before pooling at the edge of his jaw, where it soaked quietly into the collar of his shirt. The fabric was already turning crimson, blooming with it, blooming with him.

His lashes fluttered once.

Barely.

Then stilled again.

The room seemed to tilt. Or maybe that was her.

Her stomach dropped — a violent plunge, like the floor had disappeared beneath her feet. She could feel it then, the rise of something hot and nauseating in the back of her throat, clawing up as her eyes locked on the wound. It wasn’t just blood. It was his blood. Spencer’s.

And he wasn’t moving.

His face was slack — not peaceful, not asleep, just vacant. The faintest crease still lingered between his brows, like the pain had caught him mid-thought. There was something deeply wrong about it, about him lying there like that. Off-center. Unanchored. Dizzy, disoriented, even in stillness. Like someone had unplugged the world’s sharpest mind and left it flickering.

Her body locked down—every instinct bracing to protect, to react, to end this now.

Then the shotgun shifted.

The barrel snapped toward her chest with sudden, jolting force.

“Drop it!” the man barked, the words mangled and ragged—voice gone to gravel, each syllable trembling with something unstable. His lips curled back from his teeth, not in a snarl, but something worse—something uncertain, like he didn’t know if he was threatening or pleading.

His hands trembled around the shotgun stock—not from fear, but from how tightly he was clinging to control. The kind of trembling that came right before the trigger was pulled.

Y/N’s gaze didn’t waver.

Her arms held steady, the muzzle of her gun pointed square at his chest. Her breath slowed, deliberately measured, as if even the air between them might shift the balance.

She didn’t blink.

She took in everything: the angle of the barrel, the taut twitch of his jaw, the half-step he’d taken forward, the glint of something flickering in his eyes—resolve, maybe. Or desperation. There was no time. No room for fear. Only calculation. Only timing.

Her finger tightened over the trigger.

She could make the shot.

She was sure of it.

But Spencer was still down. And if she missed—if he flinched—if the recoil shifted his aim—

She didn’t lower the gun.

But she didn’t fire either.

The room held its breath with her.

The man shifted again—barely a step, but it was enough.

His boots scraped over the worn floorboards as he moved toward Spencer’s crumpled form, the barrel of the shotgun lowering, inch by inch, until it hovered just above Spencer’s head like a verdict already decided.

“One second longer,” the man growled, voice cracking like splintered wood, “and I’ll blow his fucking head off.”

Y/N didn’t move.

But something inside her shifted.

A full-body stillness snapped into place — not the poised quiet of control, but the rigid, sickened kind that hit when reality dropped too fast, too sharp. Her heart didn’t race. It slammed. Once. Hard. Then again. Every beat ringing in her ears like the tick of a detonator.

She had played this carefully, clinically — willing to risk herself, willing to bleed if it kept the attention off Spencer. She could take it. Had taken it. But this—

This was different.

Now it was him.

And the gun was angled down, close enough to his skull that she could see the reflection of blood in the barrel. Spencer lay curled against the warped floorboards, disoriented and dazed, his breath fogging faintly at the edge of the wood. His lashes fluttered. His mouth parted, like he was trying to speak but couldn’t find the thread of it. There was blood smeared along his hairline, drying now, catching in the curve of his ear and soaking down his collar. His pulse was there — visible, trembling in his throat. Too exposed. Too human.

The sight of it — him — nearly undid her.

Her whole body locked into place, a machine with too many variables flooding the system. Her brain calculated trajectories, angles, impact velocities. But no combination ended without risk to him. Every outcome cost him something— and that, she could not accept.

Her hands shook.

She could have made the shot if it were her life on the line. Could’ve gambled with her own ribs, her own skin. She’d taken worse. But not this. Not when it was his blood on the floor. Not when she’d promised — not him.

The weight of that promise settled in her arms like iron, and it took everything she had to keep from shaking apart beneath it.

Her throat burned. She swallowed against it.

And then, with a precision that felt like peeling skin from bone, she began to lower her weapon.

Inch by inch.

Slow.

Controlled.

Deliberate.

Her fingers ached as she loosened them from the grip. Her shoulders screamed with the effort it took to obey the moment’s demand.

Every cell in her body recoiled.

But she did it anyway.

“Alright,” Y/N said at last, her voice low, level—scraped clean of anything but clarity. Each word fell with weight, not surrender.

Her fingers loosened from the grip, slow and deliberate, knuckles pale as she uncurled them.

She didn’t drop the gun.

Instead, Y/N began to lower herself — inch by inch — until one knee touched the warped wooden floor. The boards creaked beneath her weight, the sound barely more than a breath. Her hands moved with careful precision, every motion telegraphed and measured.

She set the gun down flat on the floor. Not a toss. Not a surrender.

A choice.

The cold barrel met the wood with a muted clink. No ricochet. No chance of it firing by accident. Just the sound of something vital being set aside.

The silence that followed was cavernous.

But Y/N didn’t look at the weapon.

Her eyes stayed locked on his.

Unblinking. Unflinching.

Not begging. Not pleading.

Just there—steady and grounded in the storm of his breathing, reading every flicker in his grip, every tremor running down the barrel aimed squarely at her chest.

“Kick it away,” the man barked.

She didn’t hesitate.

She shifted her foot forward, slow enough not to startle him. The toe of her boot met the side of the pistol.

One push—measured, mechanical—and it scraped across the floorboards with a sound that felt too loud. Too final.

But her eyes never moved.

Not once.

He moved fast—faster than she anticipated, with a kind of jittery violence that didn’t follow logic, only impulse.

Before she could fully register it, his hand was on her—gripping her arm and yanking it behind her back, fingers digging in just above the elbow. The coarse scrape of rope unfurled from his belt with a harsh, leathery hiss.

She twisted against his grip, tried to shift her weight—anything to make it harder for him to drag her.

Her boot skidded against the floor.

She shoved backward once—elbow clipping his side, sharp and purposeful.

But the shotgun.

It was too close.

Even without looking, she knew it was hovering just to her left, the cold presence of it looming like a second heartbeat. Her brain echoed with the imagined sound of the blast. Too loud. Too final.

So she stilled.

Not from fear, but control.

She let him drag her toward the fireplace post, every muscle coiled and burning, her breath tight behind her ribs.

He slammed her back against the wood.

Her spine jolted.

Then came the rope—rough, thick, unyielding. It bit into her wrists as he yanked it tighter than he needed to, the fibers already cutting into raw skin.

Y/N clenched her jaw, head bowed slightly, refusing to make a sound.

But then—he cinched the last knot.

Too tight.

The pressure bit deep.

And before she could stop it—a small, involuntary whimper slipped past her lips.

It wasn’t loud.

But it was real.

Spencer flinched where he lay on the floor.

The unsub didn’t notice.

Or maybe he did—and liked it.

“You’re both just more of them,” the man spat, pacing in short, sharp bursts. “Spies. Liars. Think you’re gonna dig around in my head and tell me what I am.”

His voice cracked at the end—too high, too jagged, like the thoughts were unraveling faster than he could speak them. His eyes flicked between them with the wild precision of someone looking for betrayal in shadows.

Then he lunged straight for Spencer.

He grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up with violent force—fingers digging in, dragging him across the floor like dead weight.

Spencer groaned, a smear of blood trailing along his cheekbone like a brushstroke. His limbs lagged behind him—slack, dazed, his knees buckling as he was thrown down hard beside her.

Y/N’s breath hitched.

“Don’t touch him,” she growled, low and raw.

There wasn’t room for rage. Only instinct.

But the man laughed—a high, manic sound, half-breath, half-breakdown. He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to.

Instead, he dropped to one knee and cinched the rope tighter around Spencer’s wrists—too tight, sharp enough to bite skin. Y/N jerked against her own bonds, but the rope held fast, burning against her raw skin.

She could hear Spencer's breathing now—shallow, wet, just inches from her.

The man stood again, chest heaving, eyes bright with something slick and poisonous.

Then—stillness.

He looked down at them, head tilted just slightly to the side, as if studying insects under glass.

“Let’s see what you’re really here for.”

Time moved differently inside the cabin.

Minutes passed like hours. The air hung heavy—thick with moisture and decay. It reeked of damp wood, mildew, and something more feral. Sweat. Fear. Old blood gone to rust. Each breath felt like swallowing the underside of a storm.

The ropes around Y/N’s wrists had long since burned their mark into her skin. Coarse and waterlogged, they bit into the delicate ridges of bone and tendon with each twitch of movement, the fibers soaked red where her skin had broken. Her fingers tingled—numb at the edges, aching down to the knuckles. She kept them still.

Beside her, Spencer sat slumped but conscious, his body curled slightly toward her. His head hung low, curls matted dark where blood had dried into them, crusting in uneven lines along his temple and jaw. A single streak of red had reached the collar of his shirt, staining it like a slow bloom. His breathing was shallow but even, lips parted just enough for each exhale to pass through. His lashes fluttered now and then—not from sleep, but from pain. Dizziness. That half-lost place between awareness and dark.

Across the room, the man paced in slow, uneven circuits—like an animal trapped in a cage of its own design. He hadn’t given a name. Not once. Just circled, muttered, barked at things neither of them could see. His footsteps creaked against the warped floorboards, syncopated by the occasional clatter of the shotgun being picked up, set down, picked up again. It never stayed far from his grip. Even when he spoke to the shadows, it was there—his anchor, his threat.

The windows were dark. Not because of nightfall, but because the storm still pressed against them in sheets, casting the room in the kind of gray that felt less like light and more like breath.

And then—Spencer’s voice. Quiet. Threadbare.

“What you’re experiencing—it’s not uncommon. Prolonged isolation can create patterns in the brain that reinforce a heightened sense of danger. It’s a survival response. You’re not crazy. Your mind is just trying to protect you.”

The man turned slowly.

Not with the casual movement of someone listening—but like a storm cloud gathering mass. His eyes were wide, bloodshot, pupils dilated so far they nearly swallowed the color. His breath dragged in through flared nostrils, ragged and wet, as if each inhale hurt. The barrel of the shotgun dipped slightly, but didn’t lower.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” he hissed. His voice cracked halfway through, but it didn’t make him sound weak—only volatile.

Spencer stayed still. Perfectly still.

His eyes found the man’s, steady despite the pulse jackhammering behind his ribs.

“I think you’re scared,” he said softly. “And I think no one’s listened to you in a long time.”

Something shifted.

The man didn’t move, not visibly. But his shoulders dropped just enough to notice. His jaw flexed. One foot shifted back on the floorboard. The storm rumbled outside, low and distant, as if even the sky was holding its breath.

And Y/N—reading the moment like a fault line ready to split—spoke too. Her voice slid in beside Spencer’s, quiet but deliberate, threaded with caution and calm.

“We’re not here to take anything from you,” she said. “But the people who disappeared—”

“They were spies!” he snapped. The words broke out of him like shrapnel. “Government plants. They came to silence me. To bury me in my own house.”

The shotgun lifted a fraction. His hands shook with it. Not from hesitation, but from the force of his belief.

Spencer’s voice didn’t rise. If anything, it softened.

“You don’t have to hurt anyone else,” he said. “You’ve already proven you can outsmart all of them. You’ve stayed hidden for months. That takes skill. Foresight.”

For a heartbeat, the silence returned—tight, watchful.

Then the man exploded.

“Don’t patronize me!” he bellowed, the sound reverberating off the cabin walls like a gunshot. His body jerked forward, wild-eyed, the shotgun twitching like an extension of his nerves.

Y/N flinched—but barely. Her eyes flicked toward Spencer, the smallest movement, like a tether tightening between them. He didn’t speak again. Not yet. But his breath hitched, and Y/N could feel it—not just the air between them, but the weight of everything unspoken. 

The unsub had been pacing for minutes, muttering under his breath like the words were boiling over faster than he could contain them. His boots scuffed the warped floorboards in erratic steps, his fingers twitching at his sides. One hand dragged roughly along his arm—scratching, clawing—like there was something under his skin he couldn’t reach. Couldn’t dig out.

Y/N kept her gaze angled downward—not submissive, but steady. Controlled. Her breaths came in slow pulls through her nose, paced like clockwork. She was counting. The distance to the nearest window. The time between his steps. The angle of his shoulder when he turned.

And then, without meaning to, her eyes drifted sideways, toward him.

Spencer sat just inches away, his wrists still bound, shoulders drawn tight with tension. But it wasn’t that that made her stomach drop.

It was the blood.

A dried trail of it streaked along his temple, curling into his hairline—matted in soft, uneven strands. The edges of the gash were clotted now, crusted and angry red against the pale cast of his skin. His jaw was tight, lips parted just slightly, breathing carefully—like even that took effort.

His eyes weren’t on her. They were scanning the room with clinical precision, flicking from shadow to shadow, reading danger the way he read case files—quietly, methodically. But she saw the way his brows were pinched. The faint tremble in the line of his throat. The sharp, inward hold of his breath when the unsub moved too fast.

Her heart twisted at the sight of him—gentle and brilliant and so obviously in pain—and the ache that bloomed in her chest had nothing to do with the bruises blooming across her own head.

And everything to do with the blood on his skin.

The kind that shouldn’t have been there.

Not his.

Not ever.

Spencer sat still beside her, hands bound, blood still dried at his temple. His lips parted just slightly, not in fear—but focus. His eyes flicked toward the far wall, the boarded window, the crackling fireplace. Listening.

Beep.

Faint. Almost imperceptible beneath the restless creak of the old cabin and the wind pressing against the windows like a warning.

Beep… beep.

It wasn’t loud. No louder than a watch alarm. But in the silence that followed the shouting—in the dense, static-charged quiet—it may as well have been a scream.

The unsub froze mid-step.

His shoulders jerked to a halt, spine locking with an almost mechanical stiffness. His eyes snapped upward, scanning the room with twitchy, animalistic precision.

Then his head turned. Sharply.

“What the hell is that?”

The words came low, clipped, scraped raw at the edges with suspicion. Not curiosity—alarm. His gaze sharpened like a blade, eyes narrowing into slits as he started to pivot in place.

Y/N stiffened.

Not a flinch. Not a twitch. Just a subtle hardening of her frame, like a wire being pulled taut beneath her skin.

Her pulse stuttered once. Then leveled. But her mind was already racing—calculating how long it had been since the last team update, how close backup might be now, if the signal had already pinged—

Beep.

Spencer’s breath caught.

It was nearly silent—but she heard it. Felt it, even. The way his ribs expanded slightly beside her, the shallow edge of air slicing into lungs held too tight for too long.

Beep.

The sound was steady now.

A small, rhythmic pulse.

The unsub took a step backward, turning in a slow, tight circle—eyes scanning floor to ceiling, nostrils flared, the pipe still trembling in his grip.

Spencer stayed still.

Too still.

The tracker was close. Too close.

And they both knew it.

The green LED blinked softly beneath the hem of his coat pocket.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Like a countdown. Like the signal of rescue—or exposure.

Y/N’s breath ghosted across her lip. Barely a shift in her chest, but she felt it burn in her throat like static. She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t dare turn toward the sound.

But the unsub heard it.

And worse—he understood it.

His eyes narrowed, head tilting with the eerie focus of a predator locking on. The shotgun rose a few inches, uncertain now—not who to point at, but what was coming. His jaw clenched, teeth bared just enough to show the ragged edge of molars grinding.

“Where’s that coming from?” he hissed. “What the hell is that?”

No one answered.

The storm outside raged harder, wind driving against the cabin in gusts that rattled the loose windowpanes and hissed beneath the warped doorframe. Rain lashed the roof in waves, a cold percussion over the mounting tension.

Y/N’s fingers flexed slowly in the ropes behind her back—blood slicking the coarse fibers where they bit into her skin.

She didn’t look at Spencer. But she felt him beside her. Breathing faster now.

The noise wasn’t loud. But it was loud enough.

A steady pulse, mechanical and unrelenting, threading through the cabin like a fuse being lit.

Rhythmic. Unmistakable.

Coming from somewhere on Spencer’s side—muffled beneath his coat or wedged between the folds of his satchel, but there all the same. A beacon. A countdown.

The unsub’s head snapped toward him.

His eyes went wide—too wide.

The whites stark in the dim cabin light, the pupils blown and darting. Something behind them gave way, cracked clean down the middle. That dangerous shift from suspicion to certainty. From unease to revelation.

“You’re tagged,” he spat. 

A whisper at first—horrified. Then louder, venomous, full of rage: “You sons of bitches—you led them here.”

Y/N didn’t breathe.

Spencer froze, spine rigid, his limbs still sluggish from blood loss and shock—but his gaze locked on the man.

The unsub moved like lightning after a coil—storming toward the fireplace, shoving aside a battered chair and knocking over a rusted floor lamp in the process. The bulb burst in a brittle flash—shards of glass scattering across the warped floorboards with the sharp crack of splintered light.

Sparks flashed, brief and bright, then vanished.

His boots crushed the debris beneath him as he spun back toward them, shotgun raised, his breath sawing in and out in uneven gasps. Every step vibrated the floor like a war drum. His finger tightened on the trigger—his face carved into something raw and volcanic.

Y/N opened her mouth—tried to intercept, to redirect, to deflect him back toward her—

But it was too late.

He lunged, grabbing Spencer by the front of his coat and yanking him forward with a violence that cracked through the air like a snapped bone. Spencer’s breath left him in a choked sound—sharp, involuntary—as his body pitched forward under the unsub’s grip, knees scraping the wood.

Then came the hands—rough, frantic, clawing through layers of fabric like a man possessed. Fingers tearing at the buttons, wrenching open the coat with jerking movements, searching for proof with the blind desperation of someone who already knew what he’d find.

Y/N strained against the ropes, breath caught behind her teeth, her wrists burning against the binding.

And then—

He found it.

A small black device, tucked just inside the inner lining. No bigger than a matchbox. Sleek. Silent. The unsub ripped it free, holding it up in a trembling hand.

It blinked.

Once. Green.

Steady. Alive.

A heartbeat in plastic casing.

Hope, caught in circuitry.

The unsub stared at it like it had just condemned him—like it had always been there, whispering in the dark, waiting to betray him. His breathing hitched, deepened, then turned ragged, fury igniting behind his eyes like fuel to flame.

“You think you can track me?” he hissed, his voice trembling with rage and disbelief. His grip tightened on Spencer’s collar. “You think you’re smarter than me?”

The GPS blinked again.

And somewhere in the woods beyond the cabin, help was coming.

But inside—

Inside, time had just started ticking faster.

Beep.

The unsub stared at the device—frozen, pupils blown wide, chest heaving like a cornered animal.

Then, without warning, the fury broke loose.

He snarled—a guttural, full-body sound that ripped up from somewhere beneath language, raw and unfiltered, more beast than man—and in the same motion, hurled the GPS unit to the floor. It hit the boards with a sharp crack, the plastic casing skidding across the grain and coming to rest by Y/N’s boot.

His foot came down a second later—hard—a stomping blow that sent a sickening crunch through the room. Sparks shot out in jagged arcs, tiny bursts of light skittering like electric fireflies into the shadows beneath the table, the edges of the walls.

The blinking stopped.

So did everything else.

The cabin fell still in the aftermath, as if recoiling—its very air taut with held breath, the storm outside now muffled by the weight of what had just been destroyed. Smoke curled faintly from the shattered casing, wires frayed and twitching like exposed nerves.

Spencer didn’t move. Y/N didn’t breathe.

It hit like a drop in barometric pressure—

the tilt in the unsub’s posture, 

the wild shine in his eyes,

the shift from suspicion to certainty to rage.

“You lying little shit.”

The words burst from him like a snapped wire.

Spencer’s mouth parted—instinct, an attempt at reason, at reach—but nothing came. No room for logic. No space for calm. Just static behind his ribs.

The man’s hand shot out, snatching a rust-flecked pipe from the clutter near the hearth—three feet of old steel, cold and cruel in his grip. His fingers twitched as he raised it, knuckles pale, tendons straining like they wanted to break free from the skin.

“You came here wired,” he spat, his voice cracking at the edges. “You fed them my location. You think you can dissect me? Turn me into a case file? Break me down into numbers and symptoms and—notes?”

His voice rose with every word, nearly feral now. Each syllable was jagged with betrayal. The pipe lifted—shoulder drawn back, locked and ready.

Spencer didn’t flinch.

He tensed instead, a small shift in his spine, a tilt of his head—not from fear, but readiness. Bracing not for pain, but for the rhythm of it, the moment to move, to shield.

But before the blow could fall—

“It was me.”

Her voice cut through the room like a scalpel.

Sharp. Deliberate. A clean slice through the thick, rancid air that hung heavy with sweat, dust, and old wood smoke.

The unsub froze—mid-motion, mid-breath—the rusted pipe still raised high in his trembling grip. His chest heaved under the weight of adrenaline, sweat painting dark patches across his collar. His eyes, rimmed red and ringed in sleepless mania, flicked between the two of them—Spencer on the floor, unmoving, and Y/N upright, bloody, but burning steady.

She didn’t blink.

Didn’t flinch.

She held his gaze with the precision of a knife thrower lining up a kill shot. Her wrists bled where the rope bit into raw skin, her breath shaky from pain—but her posture never wavered.

And then—a chuckle.

Low. Dry. The kind of sound that slipped from the edge of a cracked smile—not amused, but knowing. Cold. Calculated.

She leaned forward slightly, enough to shift the tension in the room.

“You want the truth?” she said, her voice now wrapped in something quieter. Meaner. Intentional. “You’re right. You were always right.”

The unsub’s grip flexed around the pipe. He twitched—not from fear, but recognition.

“I’m the one they sent,” she continued, tone sinking deeper, silk over steel. “Not him.”

She jerked her chin toward Spencer without looking. Didn’t dare. Couldn’t see the expression on his face—the confusion, the betrayal, the heartbreak—because if she did, she’d fall apart.

“The kid?” Her voice dripped disdain. “He’s nothing. Still green. He’s read the textbooks but he hasn’t seen the dirt under the floorboards yet. He thinks we’re here to help you.”

She let out another soft, bitter laugh. “That’s cute, isn’t it?”

Spencer stirred beside her. His breathing hitched. But she didn’t look. Couldn’t. She was too deep now—buried in it. And this wasn’t about him. Not right now. This was survival. This was the only hand she had left to play.

“I’ve been inside this operation for weeks,” she said. “Studying your patterns. Cross-referencing your routines, your history, your trauma. I’ve read your medical records. Your military discharge. I’ve talked to the people who used to know you—before.”

She tilted her head, slow and deliberate, eyes never leaving the unsub’s face.

“Before you woke up.”

He was breathing faster now. Mouth slightly parted. Sweat trickling down the side of his temple, collecting in the notch of his jaw. His eyes didn’t blink. Didn’t need to. He was locked on her.

“Everything you’ve been feeling? The eyes? The pressure? The sense that you’re being dissected in real time?”

Her voice dropped.

“That’s me.”

His fingers twitched. His grip on the pipe slipped a little before snapping back tighter than before.

“I was sent to infiltrate. Quietly. Completely. Not to arrest you. To study you. To peel you open. Reduce you to variables. Numbers. Labels. Paranoid. Unstable. Prone to violence.”

He twitched again. A sick little shiver of something that looked far too close to understanding.

“I was meant to map your entire psyche without you ever knowing,” she said. “To catalog your impulses, your threats, your breaking points. Not just to control you—but to reconstruct you.”

Another beat. Her voice dipped, softer now. Like a lullaby made of glass shards.

“We build the cage from the inside.”

And she smiled.

Not wide. Not cruel.

Just enough to make him believe it.

The unsub staggered back—just half a step, but it landed like a blow. As if her words had struck something inside his chest, something hollow and long-rotting, and rattled it hard enough to sound.

The pipe in his hand dipped slightly.

Spencer was staring at her now—wide-eyed, frozen, a single streak of dried blood tracking toward the edge of his jaw. He didn’t look dazed anymore. He looked like he was witnessing a slow-motion train crash with someone he loved still standing on the tracks.

“Y/N—” he choked out, voice cracked and raw at the edges.

But she cut him off. Fast. Sharp. Surgical.

“I made the call to come here,” she said, and her tone had changed again—now clinical, ruthless, the voice of someone who’d been hiding in plain sight. “I brought him with me because no one looks twice at the rookie. That’s how I got so close.”

The unsub’s breath hitched. The kind of breath you take before deciding to kill someone.

Y/N pressed forward.

“While he asked you polite questions, I was the one watching. Recording. Cataloging every blink, every tremor, every tell. The way your hand twitched when we said the word ‘discharge.’ The way your pupils shrank when I stepped too close.”

The unsub’s fingers flexed around the pipe—bone-white and twitching, the metal trembling just slightly in his grip.

His face contorted. Slowly. Not in confusion. Not in disbelief.

But in recognition.

Like something had finally snapped into place.

“You lied to me,” he said, voice barely more than a whisper. But it held teeth. The kind of whisper that precedes a scream.

Y/N nodded once. Slow. Deliberate.

“Every word.”

The room shifted around them. The air grew heavier. The shadows deeper. The hunter had found his traitor—and now, the line between predator and prey was gone.

His jaw clenched hard enough to tick. His nostrils flared. He blinked once—a muscle twitch of betrayal—and then something darker flooded his eyes.

Rage.

“So you admit it,” he spat.

“I do.”

She didn’t blink.

Didn’t tremble.

Didn’t look at Spencer—not even for a second.

“I told them I’d draw you out,” she said. “Told them I could build the perfect bait. I designed the plan. I volunteered to come in first. And I brought him with me to play innocent, so you’d never look twice at me.”

The man stared at her like she’d just changed form—like every feature of her face was shifting into something monstrous, into the villain he’d been waiting for all along. The hand holding the pipe twitched again. The muscles in his arm drew taut.

He saw her now.

Not as someone in his house.

But as the one who’d built the trap.

And walked in willingly.

And Spencer—God, he knew.

Knew exactly what she was doing.

He could see it—unfolding in real time, like one of those impossibly slow Rube Goldberg machines, every gear turning, every trigger rigged, every step more dangerous than the last. Y/N wasn’t just improvising. She was sacrificing. Building the narrative. Crafting the role she knew he’d buy.

The villain. The infiltrator. The enemy.

Spencer’s heart thudded so loud it drowned out everything else. Not from the pain in his temple, not from the rope biting into his wrists—but from the sheer, gut-wrenching certainty of it.

She was painting a target on herself.

Not just with words—but with the precision of someone who knew exactly where to stand so that when the shot came, it would hit her and not him.

And he couldn’t stop it.

He couldn’t move. Couldn’t reach for her. Couldn’t say her name the way he wanted to—not the warning, not the plea, but the real way. The way that meant don’t do this. Please.

His eyes flicked over her—sweat at her hairline, blood dry, hands trembling just barely where they rested behind her. But her face?

Stone.

The kind of stillness that came just before collapse. The kind that broke you from the inside out.

He felt sick.

Because Spencer knew this wasn’t just a bluff.

She wasn’t just buying time. She was making a deal. And she hadn’t yet figured out how she was going to get out of it.

The unsub’s knuckles tightened on the pipe.

And this time, he turned toward her.

The unsub stood in front of her, hovering like a storm about to break. His chest heaved, his breath fast and uneven, the sound wet at the edges—like he was choking on fury. His eyes shimmered, bloodshot and wide, and behind them was nothing but chaos: betrayal, humiliation, the raw ache of someone who believed he’d finally uncovered the truth—and wanted someone to bleed for it.

Y/N didn’t flinch.

She lifted her chin. Her wrists still burned from the rope, the skin there already raw, but she sat taller. Straighter. Not defiant— but anchored. She wasn’t trying to fight him. She was trying to pull him in. Away from Spencer. Away from anyone who couldn’t take what was coming.

“You want to dissect me?” the unsub hissed, spittle catching in the corner of his mouth. “You want to peel me open and write me down like some—some experiment?”

Y/N’s throat was bone-dry. Her breath felt thin. But her eyes didn’t waver.

“Yes,” she said.

The pipe arced through the air like lightning.

The first blow cracked across her ribs.

A sickening thud—deep and solid, metal against bone—and it knocked the air from her lungs like she’d been punched by the sky. Her body snapped sideways, collapsing onto her hip, rope barely catching her before she hit the floor completely. The sound that left her mouth wasn’t a scream. It was sharper. Shorter. Like breath torn in half.

Spencer’s voice broke behind her, sharp and helpless. “Stop—!”

Y/N didn’t turn. Didn’t flinch. She didn’t risk shifting her gaze or moving even an inch toward him—didn’t dare let the unsub sense where Spencer’s voice had come from.

She kept her eyes locked on the man in front of her. Kept the weight of his rage squarely on her shoulders.

“It’s nothing,” Y/N gasped, her voice splintered at the edges like cracked porcelain.

The words weren’t for him—not really.

But they were said loud enough to reach the unsub, to thread into the air like a challenge. Flat. Dismissive. Designed to taunt.

And yet, there was something beneath it. A note of softness buried inside the brokenness—so subtle only Spencer would catch it.

She glanced at him. Just once. Barely more than a flicker. But it was there. Not a cry for help. Maybe an apology.

A warning. A reassurance. Don’t move. Don’t speak. I’m still here. Let me do this.

Spencer's throat constricted. He couldn’t breathe. His whole body screamed to reach for her, to throw himself between them, but he stayed frozen—because she was protecting him, even now, even like this.

The unsub didn’t catch the shift.

He was too deep in it now—

Too tangled in the scent of blood and sweat, in the heat of betrayal clinging to his skin like a second layer.

His gaze flicked to Spencer again—not with doubt, but with a kind of furious clarity. A moment of recognition between predator and prey.

“You see?” he rasped, voice hoarse and shaking with conviction. “She used you. Just like they all do.”

Spencer didn’t speak. Couldn’t. But his jaw twitched. His fingers curled slightly where they’d been slack.

“She’s one of them,” the man hissed, his eyes blazing now. “Wrapped you around her finger so you wouldn’t see it. Made you feel safe. Needed. Like you mattered.”

He took a step closer. The pipe shook in his grip.

“But it was a lie. And now you brought them to me.”

His head cocked sharply to the side, a grotesque mimicry of sympathy. “I’ll solve it for both of us,” he whispered, too calm now. Too sure. “You don’t have to suffer anymore. Neither of us do.”

His gaze was locked on Spencer—but his knuckles flexed around the pipe as he turned toward Y/N.

“They’re the poison,” he spat. “She’s the worst of them.”

He looked at her like he was seeing something grotesque and glorious all at once.

And then—

The rage twisted. Broke open.

With a jagged, animal sound caught somewhere between a sob and a snarl, the unsub howled and wrenched the pipe backward—

Only to throw it.

The metal spun from his hand, sailing across the room in a flash of rust and fury. It struck the floor with a brutal, echoing clang, the sound ricocheting off the cabin walls like a gunshot. The pipe rolled once, twice—then stilled in the dust.

Not mercy.

Not remorse.

Just escalation.

His shoulders rose and fell like a wave crashing, chest heaving with the strain of restraint. He ran a shaking hand down his face, smearing sweat and blood together, jaw locked tight like he was chewing on bone.

“No,” he growled, low and guttural, voice thick with the weight of too many nights spent talking to ghosts. “That’s too easy.”

He took a step forward.

Then another towards her.

“I want it real,” he seethed. “I want to look in your eyes and see it. I want you to know what it’s like—to feel hunted. Dissected. Reduced.”

His voice rose with each word, fraying at the edges.

“You think you’re clever. You think I didn’t see it. But I saw you the second you walked in.”

Spencer shifted beside her—slow, deliberate—but didn’t speak. He knew. Any wrong sound, any motion now could tip this into blood.

Y/N didn’t move either.

But her pulse thundered in her throat.

The unsub’s boots thudded against the warped floorboards, closing the space between them inch by inch. His hands trembled at his sides, fingers twitching like they still held the weapon.

“I want you to beg,” he said. “Not for you. For him. So he knows what you really are before it’s too late.”

His breath was ragged. Wild.

And his eyes—locked on hers—were lit with the glow of delusion, of violence waiting for permission.

Y/N didn’t have time to move.

His fist came down hard across her jaw.

Her head snapped sideways, a sharp gasp breaking from her throat as blood flew in an arc across the floor. Her body recoiled instinctively, but she had nowhere to go—arms bound, knees failing.

Another hit.

Knuckles against cheekbone.

Crack.

She didn’t cry out this time. Just a low, wet sound from deep in her chest. One eye squeezed shut. The other barely tracked.

Spencer shouted her name—screamed it—but she couldn’t look at him.

The next blow hit her temple, dazing her. Her limbs jerked once, then sagged, and she started to tip—eyes fluttering.

He grabbed her by the front of her shirt and hauled her up, letting her head loll against his shoulder for a split second before slamming her back down against the post.

She choked on her own breath. Blood pooled in the corner of her mouth.

Still, she tried to speak. Tried to draw his focus back—keep him off Spencer.

“Go ahead,” she gasped, voice shredded. “You’ve already lost.”

Spencer’s voice cracked wide open. “Stop! You’re going to kill her!”

“I’m supposed to!” the unsub roared. “You think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know how this ends?”

He wiped his knuckles, hands shaking, and reached for the knife on the table.

“No—no—” Spencer’s voice rose, frantic now. “Listen to me, just—just wait—”

But the unsub was already behind Y/N, cutting the ties loose with the knife. 

She hit the floor hard, shoulder slamming into the boards, the air knocked from her lungs in a sharp wheeze. Blood was smeared across her chin, a glint of it now soaking into the collar of her shirt. Her arms shook as she tried to push herself up.

The unsub stood over her, chest rising and falling with erratic, animal rhythm. He saw the flicker of her hand as she reached—slow, shaky—toward the knife that had fallen nearby during the struggle. Fingers grazed the hilt.

He kicked it away.

Hard.

The blade skidded across the floor and disappeared under the edge of a cabinet.

Y/N didn’t react fast enough to hide the effort.

He saw it and laughed. It was a jagged, broken sound—half snarl, half thrill. Then he stepped forward and crushed her hand beneath his boot.

Y/N’s cry was small and raw—closer to a breath than a scream. Her eyes squeezed shut. Her other hand curled into the floor.

Spencer strained against the ropes again, his voice hoarse with panic. “Don’t touch her!”

The unsub didn’t even glance back.

He knelt.

Slowly. Like he was savoring it.

He flipped her over, one knee pressed into Y/N’s stomach as he leaned forward, one hand pinning her shoulder down, the other hovering just over her throat.

“I want to see it,” he murmured. “The moment you realize you’re not the one in control anymore.”

Y/N coughed—barely able to lift her head. Her breath came in short, shallow bursts now. Each one sounded like it scraped the inside of her chest.

Then his hand wrapped around her throat, and squeezed. 

She clawed at his arm, both hands wrapping around his wrist, trying to pry him off, her grip slick with sweat and trembling with effort.

A low, pained sound escaped her throat—part snarl, part choke—as she gritted her teeth and fought back, muscles straining against the weight of him. She twisted beneath his grip, her nails biting into his skin, but he only squeezed harder, knuckles white, lips pulled back in something that might’ve been a grin or a grimace.

Spencer’s mind was racing. Every second like a blade in his chest. Every flash of her body jerking beneath the unsub’s grip chiseled deeper into him.

“Stop!” Spencer shouted, voice raw. “Hey—look at me!”

The unsub didn’t flinch. His grip only tightened.

Y/N’s body arched slightly beneath the pressure, her fingers still scrabbling against his arm, trying to peel his hand away from her throat.

Do something. Think. Think, think, think—

And then—

He found it.

A fracture in the man’s mind. A mirror.

Spencer’s voice dropped an octave, fast and sharp now, like the sound itself might wedge into the fracture. “You were right. You were right, okay?”

The unsub didn’t stop—but his grip faltered. Fractionally.

Spencer lunged toward that moment like it was oxygen.

“You knew they were watching you. You knew they were lying. That they wanted to control you, label you, shut you up. But you were smarter than them. That’s why you’re still here. You saw the truth and no one believed you, and you made it anyway.”

Y/N gasped—one desperate breath into her bruised lungs—and coughed, chest heaving.

The unsub’s hand wavered. Confusion clouded his eyes.

Spencer’s words poured out now, urgent and unrelenting. “You didn’t lose it. You adapted. You survived. You outmaneuvered everyone trying to cage you. That’s not a breakdown. That’s brilliance. That’s strength.”

The fingers at Y/N’s throat loosened. Barely—but enough.

Spencer’s voice softened, but the tempo stayed fast. Intent. Begging. Calculating. Focused.

“Don’t give them what they expect,” he breathed. “Don’t let them turn you into the thing they’re afraid of. You’re better than that. You know you are. Don’t let your story end in their headlines. Don’t become the monster they want to write about.”

Y/N coughed again—sharp, alive—and Spencer’s heart crashed against his ribs like it wanted out of his chest.

The unsub’s shoulders dropped. Just an inch.

Silence.

The unsub’s breathing hitched.

His hands fell away.

And just then—the door exploded open.

Boots stormed the cabin.

Voices shouting.

The unsub turned, disoriented—eyes wild, breath coming in short, confused bursts as the front door burst open in a hail of shouting and boots.

But he didn’t even have time to reach for the shotgun.

Morgan was on him in an instant.

Not tactical, not measured, but angry.

He slammed into the unsub like a wrecking ball, driving him back with a crash that shook the floor. They hit the boards hard—shoulder to ribs, elbow to throat—Morgan pinning him down with every ounce of fury in his body.

“You son of a bitch!” he roared, his voice pure, guttural violence.

His fist cracked against the unsub’s jaw once—twice—before Hotch grabbed him from behind, pulling him back.

“Morgan!” Hotch barked. “That’s enough!”

But Morgan’s eyes were locked on the blood smeared across the floor—on Y/N, curled on her side near the fireplace, gasping.

Her throat was mottled red, fingerprints blooming dark against her skin, and her face—her cheekbone already purple and raw, lips split.

She coughed again, ragged and wet, and blinked through the sting of light and dust as boots thundered toward her.

Rossi dropped to his knees beside her. “Y/N,” he said, voice taut. “Are you—can you hear me?”

Her hand wavered slightly, lifting from the floor with a tremble that shook down her whole arm. And then—miraculously, impossibly—she gave him a shaky thumbs up.

“Madonna santa,” Rossi muttered, relief crumpling across his face. 

Morgan was still breathing hard, knuckles white, even as the rest of the team moved in—cuffs, weapons, orders flying like a storm around them.

“You don’t touch her,” he spat, voice shaking as the unsub was hauled to his knees. “You don’t get to touch her.”

And then he was on his feet, already rushing to her side.

Hotch’s voice echoed like thunder. “CLEAR!”

But Spencer barely heard it.

He was already crawling across the floor, knees scraping wood slick with blood, hands shaking as he pulled himself toward her.

“Y/N,” he choked out.

She was curled on her side near the hearth, one hand limp across her stomach, the other barely twitching. Her body looked too small, too still. Blood matted her hair, smeared across her jaw, soaking into the collar of her shirt. Her breathing was shallow—thin—but there.

“Y/N,” he said again, softer now, breath catching.

His hands hovered just inches above her. He didn’t know where to touch—what not to hurt.

She turned her head slowly, her face a map of pain and resilience. A small, broken smile curled at the corner of her mouth, tugging against dried blood.

“Still here,” she rasped, trying to catch her breath, voice barely above a whisper. “Told you it was nothing.”

And then her eyes fluttered shut—not from unconsciousness, but relief. Like she finally believed she was safe.

Spencer’s chest caved inward, his hand finally settling gently against her shoulder.

“Stay with me,” he murmured. “Please.”

A pair of hands touched his arm.

JJ.

“Spence—Spencer, you’re bleeding. Let us—”

He shook his head without looking at her.

“I’m fine. Help her.”

Emily dropped to her knees beside JJ, composure cracking the moment she saw her.

“God—Y/N,” she breathed, her voice tight with panic she didn’t bother to hide. Her hands hovered over the bruises, the blood, the torn fabric, unsure where to touch without making it worse. Her eyes flicked rapidly from Y/N’s face to her ribs to the blood trailing down her temple, cataloging everything, but none of it fast enough.

“Talk to me, okay? Just—keep talking.”

But Morgan was already there too, hitting the floor hard on the other side of her, breath still ragged from the fight, jaw clenched like he wanted to throw another punch.

He didn’t say anything at first.

He just looked at her.

Then he reached out, gently brushing a matted strand of hair from her face with the back of his knuckle—fingers trembling.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly. “You’re okay now. We’ve got you.”

But Spencer never let go of her hand.

Her voice was the first thing to break the silence.

“Well,” Y/N croaked, barely above a whisper, “that went great.”

Spencer let out a sound that hitched in his throat — somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

She winced as she tried to push herself up, breath catching sharply in her throat. “Oof—okay, okay, maybe I should’ve opened with a knock-knock joke instead.”

“Y/N—don’t,” Morgan muttered, crouched beside her, one arm braced behind her back to steady her as she shifted upright. “You’re barely standing.”

“I’m hilarious,” she argued through grit teeth, her voice rough with blood and pride. “You’re just not in the mood.”

“Damn right I’m not,” Emily snapped gently, crouching in front of her, eyes wide with worry that she didn’t bother to hide. “You look like you went twelve rounds with a semi. Sit your ass down.”

Y/N tried to grin. Failed. Winced instead.

But she stayed upright. Just to prove she could.

Emily shook her head, but her eyes shone. “You scare the hell out of me, you know that?”

“Mutual,” Y/N rasped, and finally let her weight rest back into Morgan’s arm.

Spencer moved in quickly, his hands gentle but firm as he helped guide her into a seated position. “You shouldn’t move yet.”

She glanced at him, eyes still glassy, one brow arching faintly. “If I wait for your approval, I’ll die waiting instead.”

Morgan huffed—less annoyed, more relieved.

Spencer didn’t argue. He simply shifted to support her weight as she slowly—agonizingly—got to her feet. She swayed, hissed, nearly buckled again, but he caught her. Both arms steady around her as he drew her into his side.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“I know,” she whispered back.

The air outside hit like a wall.

Cold, wet, alive with stormlight. It smelled like moss and mud and gunmetal, and Spencer didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until it stung his lungs on the way in.

Behind them, the cabin was alive with noise. Paramedics rushed past. JJ gave orders into her radio. The unsub writhed on the ground beneath the knee of a state trooper, snarling, face twisted, voice hoarse from screaming.

“You don’t know what they do,” he shouted after them. “You don’t know!”

Y/N flinched slightly at the sound, but didn’t look back. Spencer angled his body in front of hers, shielding her from the view.

She let him.

Morgan followed close behind, jaw tight, eyes still burning. “Let him scream,” he muttered. “He’s got nothing left.”

The ambulance came into view—doors open, floodlights painting everything in harsh yellow. Emily waited by the entrance, but her face softened when she saw Y/N walking under her own strength.

Barely. But still.

Spencer helped her up the step, one arm still wrapped firmly around her.

“You’re okay,” he murmured again, more to himself than to her.

“I know.”

“Almost there,” he murmured, voice barely audible above the wind.

Y/N gave a rough, rattling chuckle. “You said that five steps ago.”

He looked down at her—at the blood dried in the corner of her mouth, the bruises blossoming along her jaw, the torn skin on her knuckles—and felt something fracture in his chest again.

“You shouldn’t be talking.”

“I’ve earned the right,” she rasped. “Pretty sure I just out-profiled you.”

Spencer huffed, incredulous. “You’re making jokes?”

“You’re the one who talked a man off my windpipe with behavioral theory. We’re even.”

Her knees buckled suddenly. Spencer caught her with a sharp inhale, adjusting his grip and pulling her tighter against his side. She didn’t fight it—just leaned in, forehead briefly pressing against his shoulder, blood smudging the fabric of his coat.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“Know you do.”

The ambulance doors were open now, floodlights casting harsh gold light over the clearing. JJ ran toward them first, her eyes wide with horror when she saw the state of them both—but mostly Y/N.

The paramedics helped ease her onto the gurney, moving fast but careful. Spencer started to step back, but her hand caught his.

“Don’t go far,” she said, her voice going soft now. “I don’t want to wake up alone.”

He squeezed her fingers gently. “I won’t.”

And as the ambulance doors closed — sealing her from view with a dull metallic finality — Spencer remained frozen in place.

Rain streaked down his face in thin, icy threads, soaking through his shirt and coat until the fabric clung to him like a second skin. His curls lay plastered to his forehead, water dripping steadily from his lashes, from the sharp line of his jaw. The cut on his temple had gone from a sharp burn to a dull throb, blood mingling with rain and trailing down the side of his face in a diluted red smear.

The paramedics circled him now, gloved hands brushing over his injuries with clinical care — gentle, practiced — but he barely registered them. The world felt muffled, as if the storm had pulled a veil over everything. All he could hear was the sound of her voice echoing in his mind, hollow and brave and unbearably steady:

It’s okay. I can take it.

He hadn’t believed her — not really. Not in the way she meant it. And now the weight of that moment sat like stone in his chest, pressing against his ribs, caught somewhere between the cracked floorboards of that cabin and the way her eyes had locked onto his. Not pleading. Not scared. Just herself. Fierce and unwavering and hurt. So deeply hurt.

Spencer blinked, slow and stinging, and for a heartbeat he thought he could still feel her fingers curled around his, warm and trembling, as she told him not to go far.

His heart hadn’t moved since.

It was still there — with her — wherever they were taking her now.

And for the first time since it all began, he realized: 

She had taken it. 

But he hadn’t.

Not really.

The apartment was dark when he stepped inside.

Not silent — the rain still fell against the windows in a steady whisper, and the old radiator creaked with every shift in temperature. But still, it felt like stepping into a vacuum. Like his body hadn’t caught up with him yet. Like a part of him was still in that cabin, still on the floor, watching her bleed.

He dropped his go-bag by the door and stood there for a long time, wet curls dripping onto the hardwood. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Not badly, just enough that he noticed. Enough that he wrapped them around a mug he didn’t remember filling and stared into space.

He didn’t even hear the knock at first.

Just the rhythm — soft, then urgent. Three beats. A pause. Two more. Like she didn’t want to wake the neighbors, but she couldn’t not be there.

Spencer crossed the room in a daze. When he opened the door—

She was standing there.

Coat wrapped tight around her. Hair pulled back but messy, the bandage above her temple visible under the porch light. She looked small. Pale. But she was on her feet.

He stared at her for a heartbeat too long. 

Then stepped aside without a word and let her in.

Spencer took her coat carefully—more gently than she expected. Like she might break if he touched her wrong. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” she muttered, lowering herself onto the edge of his couch with a hiss between her teeth. “You’re gonna make me think I actually look as bad as I feel.”

He didn’t answer. Just folded her coat neatly over the armrest and crouched down in front of her, eyes scanning her face like he could take inventory of every bruise, every cut.

Before he could speak, she reached out—fingers brushing his jaw, then cradling the side of his face with both hands, steady and careful. Her thumbs skimmed just beneath his cheekbones as her eyes flicked up to the angry stitches near his temple, expression darkening with concern.

“Spence,” she said, voice low and earnest. “How do they feel?”

He blinked, startled slightly by the question—by the way she always noticed, even when she was the one who nearly didn’t make it out. 

“Sore,” he admitted quietly. “But manageable.”

Her brow pinched as her thumb hovered just shy of the wound, like she could soothe it just by being near.

“Good,” she murmured. “Because if they botched it, I’m filing a complaint.”

He huffed a faint laugh. But his eyes never left hers.

She glanced down at herself — the clean bandages wrapped snug around her hands, pale against the faint shadow of bruises blooming at her wrists. The ache in her ribs pulled with every breath, dulled by medication but still present, a quiet reminder. Then she looked back up at him, her smile crooked and dry.

“I mean, it’s not my best look,” she said. “But I’ve definitely worn worse on surveillance gigs. Remember that one time Garcia put me in a wig and said I looked like a discount Loretta Lynn?”

Spencer blinked. His mouth opened, then closed again. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but couldn’t remember how.

She nudged his knee gently with her hand. “Come on, Spence. I’m okay. See? Talking. Breathing. Being obnoxious.”

“You’re not okay.” His voice came out quiet, hoarse. “You were—he was—”

She cut him off gently. “You were there. I know.”

A pause. She softened.

“But you were also the reason I got to walk out.” She reached out, brushed her fingers lightly across his wrist. “So maybe I’m not as okay as I usually am. But I’m still here. That counts for something, right?”

He didn’t move away. If anything, he leaned in.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” he whispered.

Y/N’s smile faded. Just a little.

Then, with a lopsided grin: “Are you kidding? After all that? You really think I’d let some backwoods psycho have the last word?”

He huffed out a laugh. It sounded broken. Real.

“Besides,” she added, settling back into the couch with a wince, “I like your couch too much to die. I mean—this thing is weirdly comfortable, right?”

Spencer looked at her like she was made of glass and gravity and everything that could undo him. But he smiled.

And for the first time all night, she knew he believed her.

The apartment hummed quietly around them — the radiator ticking, the rain soft against the windows. Spencer moved to sit beside her on the couch, but not too close. Just near enough that their knees touched lightly, unspoken reassurance pulsing in that one point of contact.

Y/N leaned her head back against the cushions. Eyes closed. Breathing slow.

Then, without opening her eyes:

“You’re doing that thing again.”

Spencer looked over. “What thing?”

She cracked one eye open and gave him a look. “The thing where you spiral quietly and blame yourself for everything within a hundred-mile radius.”

“I’m not—”

“Spencer,” she cut in, gentle but firm. “Don’t lie to me. Especially not when I look like this.”

He swallowed hard, gaze dragging up despite himself.

The bruises along her cheekbone had deepened into dusk-colored blooms — stark against the bandage at her temple. A fainter one curled near the corner of her jaw, half-hidden beneath the fall of her hair. Even cleaned and stitched up, she looked like she’d been through hell. And she had.

His eyes dropped to her hands — wrapped in clean gauze — then to the faint rise of bandages under her shirt, just visible at the edge of her coat. Her throat bore the worst of it: a scatter of red and violet where the pressure had been, ugly and fresh.

“I shouldn’t have let you—”

“You didn’t let me do anything.”

Her voice was quiet, but clear now. Unapologetic.

“I made a choice. I saw what was going to happen. I knew what he was going to do, and I made a call.”

He didn’t speak. Just stared at his hands in his lap like they might have done something different, if only they’d moved faster.

“I would do it again,” she said simply.

That got his attention. His head snapped up.

“No—Y/N—”

“Yes,” she said, unwavering. “Every time. If it’s between me or you, I’m choosing me. Every time.”

“You could’ve died.”

Her expression softened. “So could you.”

His throat tightened. “But I didn’t.”

“Because I was there.” She turned to him then, fully. Her voice dropped. “And because you distracted him. You did exactly what I hoped you would.”

“I didn’t know if it would work,” he admitted, voice breaking slightly.

“But it did.”

He looked at her for a long moment. There were tears in his eyes, unshed, and he wasn’t even trying to blink them away anymore.

“I hate that you got hurt,” he whispered.

“I hate that I had to,” she said, not unkindly. “But I don’t regret it.”

He reached out then — tentative — and let his fingers brush lightly over the back of her hand. Just enough to let her pull away if she needed to.

She didn’t.

His hand shifted from hers — slowly, carefully — until it hovered just beneath her chin. When she didn’t move away, he let his fingers graze the edge of her jaw. Gentle as breath. Like she was made of something more fragile than bone.

Y/N blinked once, then closed her eyes.

And leaned into the touch.

His thumb brushed gently across the curve of her cheek, over skin still tender and faintly swollen. His touch lingered—careful, reverent—as if memorizing the shape of her face one fragile line at a time. Like she was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.

She let out the softest breath — not pained, just tired. Trusting.

Her hand came up and wrapped around his.

Just that.

Soft. Steady. Real.

Spencer shifted forward before he could think better of it. Just enough to bring his face close, so close he could feel her breath fan lightly against his mouth. But he didn’t kiss her there — not yet.

Instead, he pressed his lips to her temple. A barely-there touch. Then the other side. Her eyelid, warm beneath him. The bridge of her nose. Her cheekbone.

Tiny, aching acts of reverence.

He paused at the corner of her mouth.

Stopped there, hovering.

Her lashes fluttered open, and she didn’t pull away.

But she didn’t lean in either.

Her thumb ran across the back of his hand, slow. “Spence,” she murmured, voice low, a little raw. “You don’t have to be careful.”

“I know,” he whispered. “But I want to be.”

They stayed like that for a moment — her fingers curled around his, his palm resting against the side of her face like he couldn’t quite let go.

Then Y/N exhaled a slow breath and pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. Her voice was quieter now, but still laced with that familiar edge — dry, wry, undeniably her.

“So…” she began, dragging out the word like it weighed something, “I was thinking I might crash here tonight. You know, if the offer’s still on the table.”

Spencer blinked, lips parting — caught somewhere between surprised and relieved. “Of course.”

She nodded, pretending to consider. “Good. Because I’m not entirely convinced my legs still work, and if I try to drive, I’ll probably end up in Delaware by accident.”

He almost smiled. “You’re welcome to the bed.”

“Tempting,” she said, already shifting her weight with a small wince. “But if you give me the bed, you’re just gonna sleep out here on the couch like some noble, long-suffering martyr, and then I’ll feel guilty and it’ll be this whole thing.”

“You won’t feel guilty.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Spence, I feel bad leaving voicemails. I will feel guilty.”

That pulled a real laugh from him — short, breathy, almost startled. The kind of sound that cracked something open.

She smiled at that, but it faded slower this time. Her eyes dropped to where their hands were still joined — his fingers curled carefully around hers, the pulse at his wrist still quick beneath her touch.

Then her gaze flicked up again, quieter now. Sharper.

“And stop looking at me like that,” she said. “Like it’s your fault. I swear, if you keep blaming yourself, I really will be mad at you.”

He opened his mouth — to protest, to explain, he didn’t even know — but she was already lifting his hand gently to her lips and kissing it. Soft. Steady. Like a promise.

“Just… stay close, okay?” she asked. “I don’t want to wake up and think I imagined all of this. You being here. Us getting out.”

His reply was immediate. Steady.

“I’ll be right here.”

She nodded, swallowing whatever else she might’ve said. Then, quieter:

“And if I start snoring, you’re not allowed to mock me until at least after breakfast.”

His eyes crinkled faintly. “Deal.”

[mysticdreams10]

Keen and alert—Toji was fast asleep on the worn couch when abruptly awakened by a resounding thud. The vintage porcelain vase you bought from that antique shop collapses; now, it is nothing but shards. Porcelain pieces sprawled across the hardwood floors. Your pained groans fill the room, and it was then that he blinks his eyes, adjusting them to the flickering lights of the hallway, rubs the exhaustion out of his eyes, and finally, he sees you.

You barely manage to venture further into the dimly lit apartment, battered, bloodied, sticky with sweat, and tears flowing down your face from the excruciating pain. You are tripping over your own feet, trying to shut the damned door. The door slams, and the chain attached loudly rattles. A cry flees from your mouth, and his eyebrows furrow in confusion as he watches you sink to the floor. Sitting at the leg of the dining table.

“ Aye, what’s goin’ on? You alright? “

His hoarse voice breaks through the quietude. It sobered you up. Toji—the best assassin you have had the fortune of knowing, of working with, cannot see you like this, all weak and vulnerable and beaten. Your skin was broken, your hair matted, clothes torn. He could not see you like this. The sole thought brought tears to your eyes, your eyes fixated on where he was lying.

“ Oi. “

You flinch at the bass in his voice and the way he hastily sits up, rapidly nodding your head. The older male frowns at the audacity that you would wake him up like this, yet deep inside, his heart erratically pounds at the sight before him. You look horrible.

“ Didn’t know you were gonna be out- sorry. “

You stammered out.

Flailing your arm around in hopes of finding something to help haul yourself off the floor, but your legs are screaming in agony, and blood continuously trickles out of your open wounds. You want to rest, to get in bed and hide underneath the covers with a heart heavy with humiliation and frustration. Why weren’t you getting better? Why couldn’t you just be…good? Your checks were insufficient, barely enough to keep you afloat, funds calculated solely based on your skills. You despised the body you were born in, made to fight, yet failing to sustain yourself in a battle. You hated this all.

A tiny puddle of crimson forms beneath you, your body grows limp per second, and he finally thinks quickly. All the survival tips he had received throughout his life flashed through him. He dashes to his feet, hurriedly rummaging through the kitchen for the first aid that was nearby for instances like this. Fetching a bowl of warmed water and a clean cloth, listening closely to your sniffles and whimpers, watching as you absentmindedly eye the puddle.

He nears you with stealthy steps and caution. The water whooshes delicately as he dips the cloth into the bowl before ringing the excess water. Kneeling down before you, he raises it to your face. You flinch when the dampened fabric comes into contact with your face, slowly leaning into its warmth—or was it his?

You let him tear the rest of the shredded fabric off your aching body, leaving behind a tank top and nothing else but your underwear. Toji focuses on closing up your gashes, the graphic wounds decorating your thighs, your arms, your waist. Softly shoving your clothes to the side, bringing you closer to him with a grunt, and threading the stitch through the needle. Deep-set, tired eyes meet emerald-green orbs, and even through the abyss, he sees emotion and tears in your eyes—fretful, sweet, but melancholic. A glint that almost looked like you were on the brink of halting, of giving up. He bites his lip, gazing down at the shaky needle he lifts up so you can clearly see it.

“ ‘M gonna have to close you up myself. “

You nod, mentally preparing yourself for this newfound pain.

He slowly begins, wincing when quiet sobs rack your body at the raw, piercing feeling—it sheathes into your taut skin, pulling and easing, assuring and cooing you as you paw at his corded arms and plead for him to stop.

Your body slacks, pliant when he is over, crimson staining the whites of his hand. He makes it quick to clean up all the blood, the tears on your face, the sweat beads pricking at your skin, with softened eyes. Shallow breaths overcrowd the room. And just so suddenly, he is overwhelmed by your state. Reminding him of everything wrong with their lives, their jobs, and this situation.

He knows the company cares nothing for people like you—the weak, the people whose every mission is merely an attempt at proving themselves. The ones who can barely dodge a simple challenge, a blazing bullet, to save their lives. They only want people like him; they need people like him. Born with an innate talent to grab and cease. The ability to control and fight. To kill and destroy, winning the prize of millions of dollars.

Yet, he watches the glimmer in your eyes dull every time you barrel through the door. And he is not supposed to care like this. You were a shot at having a warm place when it was nighttime, a couch to crash on when he was too tired to get a hotel, that was all. You had a working faucet, that fancy heater cooped up in the storage room, that he hogs occasionally, food and company when he is tired of Shiu. A nice person who did not mind this arrangement. He is not supposed to care this much or even at all. It is insignificant, fickle, and triggering, even.

He’s talented, what does he do with you? That small voice at the back of his head tells him to do the one thing his job does not require him to do—to protect you.

You cough, covering your mouth before rubbing at the nasty bruises on your face. His eyes follow your every movement—when you lean backwards a bit, uncomfortably shifting, fresh tears cascade down your face.

“ Who did this to you? “ He mutters, and you say nothing. You just shake your head with a soft, disapproving hum.

“ Tell me… please. “

The plea catches your attention immediately, and you open your mouth to respond, but you can only get a whimper out.

“ It was just a mission gone...really bad. " You whispered, eyes fluttering shut. " Thas'all. "

Two pairs of hands cradle your cheeks, unusually delicate yet firm in guiding your attention to him. The skin on his hands is calloused, rough and clammy against your flushed, bruised face. Your teary eyes blink, fleeting all over his face. Taking in the details from the specks of light in his eyes, his imperfections and his perfections, the flare in his nostrils. Blood trickles out of your nose, mingling with the tears and snot, yet he does not mind it, as he gingerly wipes the fluids away.

“ Who did this to you? Don’t let me repeat myself. ” He slowly utters. “ You know me, I will find this person, yet I want to make this a tad easier. “

Toji stares and he stares deeply into your eyes, and you have no other choice but to speak. And you do. He attentively listens as you speak about your failed mission, sobbing when you tell him about not wanting to do this anymore. Of being so exhausted, so ashamed. He listens as you tell him about what you wanted out of your life, needing, yearning for more of its essence and happiness than whatever you were experiencing right now. No more nights of being yelled at for not being talented enough, for being such a failure. He carries you in his arms, trudging over to your room with your head laid against his shoulder, slowly falling in and out of consciousness. When he lays you in your plush bed, you immediately fall asleep, hands forming fists in the fabric of his t-shirt. He stays nearby, listening to your soft and chopped snores, watching the flutter of your curled eyelashes.

He promises himself to make a couple of calls and arrangements in the morning, maybe talk to Shiu about blowing the brains of the people who did this but right now, he wants to make sure you are fine.

[saphig-iawn]

A New Song For Her Music Box

This story is about a real session with a real person.

One of the joys of clockwork is that there is always room for more additions, and a darling of mine found this out the good way.

Transcript below the cut.

A doll I have seen for so long came to me with a simple request, she wanted to have a little spell reinforced. You see, when she started visiting me every week we did so many fun little things together. Each session bloomed from a thought, a fantasy, and had it all realised in that moment. But like hungry window shoppers in a bakery, we only had a sample of each thing and moved on. This was the first time we decided to return to an idea and give it the space it deserved.

When I brought this doll in for her second ever session with me we created a special place in her mind for her spells to go. Hers is a beautiful music box, with a pretty dancer on its top. She is adorned with ribbons, all from each of the spells we’ve woven together. A vision in my green.

She knows now that whenever she visits me she doesn’t need permission to drop. She knows she crosses into a space that is all made for her to feel safe and comfortable. I just need to shift my words and my voice, and she begins to drift like its second nature. She has had such a long week, a busy beginning to a new chapter and she didn’t want to be a person.

I brought her down, gently and slowly, letting my words guide her through the trance she was feeling. Darlings of mine will know there is a moment where I take them by the hands and bring them deeper, and this time I wanted my darling doll to feel like she was truly escaping, and so I began to start a gentle ticking sound. As she neared the edge of this deeper trance I slowed it down, letting her feel like time was holding still for her to relax. Each tick bringing her deeper, each tick slowing down until she falls between the hands of the clock, threading the needle between the cogs and gears on her way to my embrace.

I plucked her from the air and wrapped her in my arms. Her descent was almost done and the final steps were mine to make. Laying her gently down on my lap, I ran my fingers through her hair, resting her head in the crook of my elbow.

I brought out her music box, and instead of bringing out a spool of ribbon to weave a new spell, I traced my finger along the edges of the front panel, that panel that sported a beautiful brass key and keyhole. The whole panel slid forward, revealing an intricate but dusty assembly inside.

At this point, I just cooed in my darling’s ear as I cleaned the clockwork. Polishing the wind-up key, cleaning and repairing the music cylinder. Reinforcing and revitalising the spell I had woven into every piece, a spell that turns her into a sweet clockwork doll whenever I wish.

But then I added a new little cylinder, adding new notes, new chords. A new melody for my clockwork doll to dance to. There were a few ideas floating in my head, so many cute wind-up toys I could’ve turned my darling into, but I know what makes my darling tick. That she revels in being made small, being reduced, all her stresses washed away.

The song this new cylinder sings will bring forth that beautiful brass key, but when it gains purchase my doll won’t find her posture straightening and her smile brightening, her thoughts ticking in beautiful rhythm. Instead, she will feel her body grow hungry, needy, the ticking ratcheting up a deep gnawing arousal, and then she will find that she can’t do a thing about it, well… not under her own volition anyway as her body will begin to enjoy her arousal for her.

Unthinking. Unfeeling. Unrelenting.

It will explore and tease and rub and caress simply because it has been told to.

From the neck up she will still be her, still cognizant, because I love nothing more than watching my doll try and reconcile with the fact that the pleasure she is being played with, that there is nothing she can do but be a passenger in her own body.

She tried so hard to speak, bless her little clockwork heart. I asked so many sweet and innocent little questions, and her body always seemed to interrupt, groping and rubbing in a heightened vigour to silence the sweetheart.

Her moans grew louder and louder, she was at the whims of my clockwork and it was exactly where she wanted to be. Her arms slipped the straps from her top and crawled beneath her panties like they were merely distractions. Her fingers were calculated and meticulous, knowing how to extract every single sound from her lips.

Soon her body had had enough of her attempts to converse and sent two fingers of her right hand to invade her mouth. She was so lost in that pleasure that she diligently began to greet and suck the captor between her lips. She had nowhere to go, held and pressed against the wall by her arousal, knowing I held the key to let her body push her arousal over the edge.

My teasing questions bore such delicious fruit, as she tried so desperately to speak around the finger she was servicing. Asking her how she felt, if she was enjoying, coy little jabs at my damsel doll in distress. One question made her eyes widen and she tried so hard to nod her head when I asked if she wanted to finally feel that release, the fingers in her mouth reducing her answer to a quiver of her head.

As she peaked in her pleasure and began to descend into the throes of what her body had been doing to her, that was when I began to wind her key down.

To bring her back down to Earth gently.

The ravaging of her body slowed to caresses slowed to massages slowed to a stop.

She slackened and softened, the glow of the climax gently blooming on her skin.

A faint smile curled in the corner of her lips.

[novaursa]

The Second Daughter (the princess and the lion)

- Summary: You were born as a second daughter under the watchful eye of a full moon. And just like the moon you were beautiful—and cursed to exist only in the dark.

- Pairing: targ!reader/Jason Lannister

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Previous part: introduction

- Next part: the rogue

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @oxymakestheworldgoround @l3thal-l0lita @ninihrtss

The air in your chambers is quiet, save for the soft scratch of needle against fabric. You sit by the open window, the summer breeze carrying with it the faint hum of festivities from the Great Hall below. Your hands move deftly, each stitch guided by memory and touch. The image of Silverwing, wings spread in flight, begins to take shape beneath your fingertips. You feel the curve of the threads, the texture of the fine silk as you pull the needle through, and you can almost hear the rustling of her wings in your mind.

"Your Grace," a voice interrupts gently. You turn your head, unseeing lilac eyes tilted toward the source of the sound. It is Marna, one of the older serving women, her voice always warm and kind. "The King has requested your presence in the Great Hall."

You pause, your fingers hovering over the embroidery. “The King?” you ask softly. It is not often your father summons you to public gatherings, preferring to shield you from the watchful eyes of the court.

“Yes, Princess,” Marna replies. “He wishes for you to join the festivities.”

You lower your hands, the needle resting against the fabric. "Very well," you say after a moment, though a pang of unease stirs in your chest. These celebrations are not your realm. You are content here, in the quiet of your chambers, with the world as you imagine it rather than as it is.

As if anticipating your thoughts, Marna steps closer. “His Grace will be pleased to see you. The court will be honored by your presence.”

Before you can respond, the door opens again, and two more servants enter, bustling with quiet purpose. You recognize them by the shuffle of their steps and the rustle of fabric they carry. “We’ve brought your gown, Princess,” one of them says—a younger girl named Alys.

The gown they bring is a masterpiece, as all your garments are. The fabric is a deep black, soft as shadow, embroidered with threads of silver that shimmer like moonlight. Tiny scales glint along the bodice, evoking the image of a dragon’s hide. The servants help you rise, their hands gentle as they guide you away from your seat and toward the center of the room.

Alys speaks as she works, her tone light. “It’s a fine thing, this gown. Fit for a dragon princess, if I may say so.”

You smile faintly, letting them guide you as they slip the gown over your shoulders. The fabric is cool against your skin, the weight of it settling around you like a second layer of armor. "Is it truly so grand?" you ask, your voice tinged with humor.

Marna chuckles softly. "It will leave the court speechless, Your Grace. They won’t see a thing but you.”

Alys hums in agreement as she adjusts the folds of the gown. "Even Princess Rhaenyra will find it hard to outshine you tonight."

The mention of your sister brings a small pang of guilt. “Rhaenyra is the Realm’s Delight,” you say quietly. “She belongs in the light. I am content in the shadows.”

Marna stops pinning the gown for a moment, her hand resting lightly on your arm. “You are both daughters of the dragon, Princess. The light would be lesser without its shadows.”

You nod, though the words do little to ease the flutter of nerves building in your chest.

Once the gown is secured, the servants turn their attention to your hair. Though already braided, they begin to pin the strands closer to your head, twisting them into an intricate crown that leaves no stray locks to chance. The weight of the pins presses lightly against your scalp, and you can feel their careful hands working as they speak.

“You’ll look like a queen, Your Grace,” Alys says softly.

“A queen I will never be,” you reply, not with bitterness but with quiet acceptance. “But I thank you for your care.”

When they finish, Marna steps back, her voice filled with approval. "You are ready, Princess. Shall I summon Ser Lorent?"

“Yes,” you say, smoothing your hands over the fabric of your gown. You can feel the texture of the embroidery beneath your palms, the shape of the dragons etched into the cloth. "And Marna," you add, your voice soft but firm, "thank you. All of you."

The servants murmur their thanks and curtsy as Marna exits to fetch Ser Lorent. The sound of her footsteps fades, leaving you alone in the quiet chamber once more. You sit for a moment, your hands resting in your lap, breathing deeply to calm your nerves.

It isn’t long before the sound of armor announces Ser Lorent’s arrival. The Kingsguard enters, his boots light on the stone floor. “Princess,” he says, his voice steady and reassuring. “I am here to escort you.”

You rise, placing a hand lightly on his offered arm. “Thank you, Ser Lorent,” you say, your voice calm despite the anxiety you feel.

As the two of you leave your chambers and begin the journey to the Great Hall, you can hear the distant hum of the festivities growing louder with each step. The scent of roasted meats and spiced wine drifts through the air, mingling with the faint notes of music and laughter.

Though you cannot see the grandeur that awaits you, you hold your head high, each step measured and poised. You know the court will be watching, their eyes on you as much as on your sister or your father. For now, however, the hall is still beyond reach, its doors waiting to be opened.

Ser Lorent pauses outside the towering doors of the Great Hall, the noise within a muffled roar of celebration. “Are you ready, Princess?” Ser Lorent asks, his voice low.

You draw in a steady breath, your fingers tightening slightly on his arm. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” you reply, the faintest smile playing at your lips. Then, with the faintest nod, you step forward into the unknown.

The towering doors to the Great Hall creaked open with slow grandeur, the sound of revelry spilling out into the corridor like a wave. Laughter and music mingled with the scent of roasted meats, spiced wine, and the faint tang of woodsmoke from the hearths. Your grip on Ser Lorent’s arm tightened slightly, but his steady presence was a comfort. The Kingsguard knight guided you with quiet confidence, each step forward measured and sure.

Before the herald could announce your presence, the rhythmic sound of hurried boots echoed against the stone floor—a stride too quick, too heavy, to belong to anyone at ease. Ser Lorent stopped abruptly, his body tensing, and you tilted your head slightly, listening to the approaching figure. The boots grew louder, their pace betraying haste or retreat, and then—just as you sensed the figure nearing—a clash was narrowly avoided.

"Hold," Ser Lorent’s voice was firm, his free hand raising to stop the oncoming lord. The boots skidded to a halt mere feet away, followed by the faint scrape of leather on stone as the figure steadied himself. A warm, rich scent of leather and sandalwood enveloped you, the fragrance unfamiliar yet striking.

“Forgive me,” came the hurried apology, the voice deep and resonant but rattled, as though its owner was caught off guard. “I did not see—” The man paused mid-sentence, and you could almost feel the shift in his demeanor, the sudden awareness of who stood before him. “Princess,” he finished, his tone now layered with formality and astonishment.

You inclined your head slightly, your soft voice breaking the tension. “There is nothing to forgive, my lord. No harm was done.”

The man, still somewhat flustered, cleared his throat. “Jason Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock,” he introduced himself, his confidence beginning to return. “I pray you’ll forgive my haste. It seems I’ve had a day of missteps.”

“Lord Jason,” you acknowledged gently, your lips curving into a faint, polite smile. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

For a moment, Jason Lannister did not respond. Though you could not see his expression, you sensed the weight of his gaze upon you. His silence stretched, filled with something unspoken, until he finally spoke again, his tone lighter but no less sincere. “The pleasure is mine, Princess Y/N. Your presence graces this hall far more than I ever could.”

There was a charm to his words, one likely polished by years of courtly practice, yet something about his tone carried an edge of genuine awe.

“Are you enjoying the festivities?” he asked, clearly striving to maintain the conversation and regain his footing.

“They are as lively as I imagined they would be,” you replied, your voice calm and measured, each word deliberate. “Though I confess, I find the quiet of my chambers more familiar.”

Jason chuckled, a sound rich and warm, though you caught the slight unease beneath it. “A sentiment I share more than most might believe, though it seems neither of us has much choice in the matter tonight.”

The remark brought a faint smile to your lips. “Indeed. Duty often calls us to places we do not choose, but such is the way of the world.”

Jason hesitated, as if weighing his next words, but before he could speak again, you felt a subtle shift in Ser Lorent’s stance. Though his silence remained, the stiffness in his posture was unmistakable, a wordless warning meant solely for the lord before him.

Jason stopped abruptly, his earlier confidence faltering once more. You could almost hear the unspoken exchange between him and Ser Lorent—the quiet assertion of the knight’s duty, the unyielding reminder of your protection.

“I’ve taken enough of your time, Princess,” Jason said finally, his voice tinged with reluctance. “Your family awaits you, and I would not delay you further.”

You inclined your head graciously. “You have been kind, Lord Jason. I wish you a pleasant evening.”

“And to you, Princess,” he replied, his tone softer now, almost reverent.

As Ser Lorent guided you forward, you heard the sound of Jason’s boots retreating a few steps, then pausing. Though you did not turn, you felt his gaze linger, the weight of it following you as you were led toward the dais where your family sat. His earlier thoughts of leaving the hall, you suspected, were far from his mind now.

For you, the encounter was little more than an unexpected moment in a long evening. For Jason Lannister, it was the beginning of something far more profound—though even he could not yet say what.

Your grip on Ser Lorent’s arm was steady, your steps slow and deliberate, as the herald stepped forward to announce your presence.

"Her Grace, Princess Y/N Targaryen, Daughter of King Viserys I Targaryen and the late Queen Aemma Arryn, of House Targaryen."

The herald’s voice boomed across the hall, and in an instant, the revelry died. Silence swept over the crowd, leaving only the faint crackle of torches and the low hum of the hearth. Though you could not see the eyes upon you, you felt their weight, hundreds of gazes fixed on your form as you entered the hall.

Whispers stirred at the edges of the silence, hushed murmurs of curiosity and admiration.

“She’s even more beautiful than they say,” someone breathed.

“Blind, yet she moves with such grace,” another remarked.

You kept your head high, your lilac eyes unseeing but calm, your expression serene as Ser Lorent guided you further into the hall. Your gown, a masterpiece of black and silver, shone under the torchlight, the embroidery of dragons glinting like scales. Your hair, intricately braided and pinned, crowned you in a way that whispered of royalty even without the weight of a diadem.

At the high table, you could hear your family stirring. The clink of goblets being set down, the faint rustle of Alicent’s silks as she adjusted herself, and the soft cooing of one-year-old Daeron in the arms of his nursemaid.

"Ah, my daughter," your father’s voice rang out, breaking the silence with jovial warmth. King Viserys’s tone was light but full of emotion. "Come, come, Y/N. Do not linger at the edge of the hall! Let them see you properly."

His laughter rolled across the hall, easing the silance. The murmurs grew louder, but the crowd relaxed, the King’s mood infectious. You were led closer to the dais, where the high table overlooked the grand hall.

“Here,” Viserys continued, gesturing eagerly, “sit beside Rhaenyra. You two have spent too much time apart of late.”

You could hear the scrape of a chair being moved and felt the shift of the air as Rhaenyra rose to guide you the last few steps. Her touch on your arm was firm and familiar, her tone bright and full of affection. “Come, sister. Father would not forgive me if I let you sit anywhere else.”

As you reached the table, you felt the gentle tug of her hand as she guided you to the chair beside hers. The high table was filled with those you knew so well: your stepmother, Queen Alicent, her hands folded neatly in her lap; Aegon, the prince whose nameday you celebrated, fidgeting with the hem of his tunic; Helaena, quiet as ever, her soft murmurings almost drowned by the noise; and young Aemond, his chair pulled slightly away as if he wished to disappear entirely.

Before you sat, you turned your head slightly toward your father’s voice, offering a small smile. “You honor me with your kindness, Father.”

Viserys laughed again, pleased by your words. “It is no kindness, my dear. You belong here, with your family.”

As you settled into your seat, Rhaenyra leaned in closer, her tone low enough for only you to hear. “They are all staring, you know.”

“They always stare,” you replied gently, your hands smoothing the fabric of your gown as you settled. “I do not mind.”

Rhaenyra huffed softly, but there was a note of protectiveness in her voice. “You should. Half the lords here don’t deserve to lay eyes on you.”

Across the table, Alicent cleared her throat delicately. “We are grateful for your presence, Y/N,” she said, her voice measured and composed. “It is rare that the hall is so quiet—it seems your arrival has had quite the effect.”

You inclined your head toward her voice, offering a polite smile. “I am pleased to bring some order to the chaos, Your Grace.”

Alicent’s lips curved faintly, though there was a flicker of something unreadable in her tone as she replied, “Indeed.”

Aegon, ever restless, shifted in his seat. “Does this mean we can eat now?” he asked, his tone bordering on impatience. Helaena giggled softly, her voice like the tinkling of a bell.

“Hush, Aegon,” Alicent chided gently. “This is your day, but do not forget your manners.”

The nursemaid cooed to Daeron as he fussed, her voice soft and soothing. Aemond remained silent, his presence more a shadow than a boy of his age. The atmosphere at the high table was a strange mix of celebration and tension, as was often the case in these gatherings.

You turned your head slightly, as though surveying the room through senses other than sight. The hum of voices, the clatter of dishes, and the faint strains of music filled the air once more. Somewhere in the crowd, you felt a subtle ripple of attention still fixed on you—perhaps the lingering gaze of a certain Lord of Casterly Rock.

For now, you let the world move around you, content to sit beside your sister, your father’s warmth anchoring you amidst the sea of courtly intrigue. The celebration continued, though its true tone—one of alliances and ambitions—lay just beneath the surface.

Jason Lannister’s stride, once filled with determination to leave the hall and the sting of rejection behind, slowed as he found himself retracing his steps. The echo of her voice still lingered in his mind—soft-spoken, gentle, so unlike the cutting sharpness of Rhaenyra’s words or the King’s dismissive tone. It was unintentional, of course, but the blind princess had unraveled something within him, leaving him both unsettled and curious.

As he approached the table where his family was seated, he became acutely aware of the stares that followed him. His siblings and cousins had witnessed his earlier debacle, and judging by the smirks spreading across their faces, they were eager to make the most of it.

“Well,” Tyland began as Jason took his seat, his younger twin’s voice laced with barely contained amusement. “That was… eventful.”

Jason glared at him. “Don’t start, Tyland.”

“Start? I think I’ve already missed the best part,” Tyland quipped, leaning back in his chair. “Though I must admit, I’ve never seen you move with such haste. I thought you were fleeing the hall entirely.”

Jason ignored the laughter that rippled through his family and reached for his goblet. “I had no intention of fleeing,” he said stiffly, taking a long drink of wine.

“Oh, of course,” Tyland replied, his tone mockingly agreeable. “You were simply… what? Taking a scenic stroll? Stopping to admire the craftsmanship of the Red Keep? Or perhaps nearly colliding with a princess was all part of your grand plan.”

At this, the table erupted into chuckles. Jason set his goblet down with more force than necessary, the sound cutting through their mirth. “It was a momentary lapse,” he said, his jaw tight. “Ser Lorent intervened before anything happened.”

“Ah, yes,” Tyland said, a glint of mischief in his eye. “And what did happen, brother? You looked as though you’d seen a dragon rise from the floor when you realized who you nearly bowled over.”

Jason hesitated, his mind returning to the brief but memorable encounter. The scent of her—delicate and floral, like something ephemeral. The serene way she had spoken, her words measured and without any hint of malice. Her presence had been disarming in a way he could not explain.

“She was…” Jason faltered, searching for the right words. “Unexpected.”

“Unexpected,” Tyland echoed, feigning deep contemplation. “Yes, that certainly explains why you looked ready to fall to your knees in apology.”

“She is blind, Tyland,” Jason said sharply, his voice low. “Do you think I would risk injuring her? I merely acted with appropriate care.”

“Appropriate care?” Tyland leaned in, his smirk widening. “Brother, you practically stumbled over your own boots apologizing. She left you speechless.”

Their mother, Lady Leonella, who had been watching the exchange with mild interest, finally interjected. “Enough, Tyland. Let your brother be. The princess is a rare beauty, even if she cannot see the chaos she inspires. Jason, tell me, what did she say to you?”

Jason hesitated again, his mind returning to the moment her soft voice had reached him. “She was… kind,” he said finally. “She did not chide me for my haste or question my manners. She simply… accepted my apology.”

Lady Leonella smiled faintly. “A rarity in this hall, then. Perhaps you should learn something from her grace.”

Jason frowned but didn’t argue. Across the table, Tyland was watching him with an expression that was far too knowing for Jason’s comfort.

“And what now?” Tyland asked, his voice laced with mock seriousness. “Will you abandon your plans to leave the hall in favor of lingering, hoping for another encounter?”

Jason bristled but didn’t answer immediately. The truth was, the thought of leaving the hall no longer appealed to him. He had come to the festivities with grand ambitions, only to have them dashed by Rhaenyra’s biting rejection and the King’s dismissal. Yet somehow, in the space of a few words and a fleeting exchange, the younger princess had left him intrigued.

“I am staying,” he said finally, lifting his goblet once more. “If only to see how the rest of the evening unfolds.”

Tyland raised his own goblet in a mock toast. “To the unpredictable, then.”

Jason said nothing, his gaze shifting subtly toward the high table where the Targaryen family sat. Though his pride still smarted from the events of the evening, the thought of the blind princess—her gentle voice, her unassuming presence—lingered in his mind like a whisper.

For the first time that night, his thoughts of leaving the hall were far behind him. Instead, he found himself wondering if fate might grant him another chance to cross her path.

The hum of conversation and the clatter of goblets filled the Great Hall, but at the high table, the atmosphere was quieter. Seated beside your sister, you felt the warmth of her presence, a comforting contrast to the chaos of the court below. Your father’s voice carried occasionally over the din, booming with joviality as he toasted his guests, while Alicent, ever composed, managed the children with quiet grace.

Your fingers rested lightly on the silver chalice before you, tracing the delicate filigree as you turned your head toward Rhaenyra. “You seem unsettled, sister,” you said softly, your eyes focused on her presence more than her face.

Rhaenyra let out a short huff, her tone sharp but not unkind. “It’s Jason Lannister,” she said, her voice low enough that only you could hear. “He proposed.”

Your lips curved faintly, though you knew her well enough to sense her annoyance. “Proposed what, exactly? Marriage, I assume?”

“What else would it be?” Rhaenyra muttered, her tone edged with exasperation. She leaned closer, her voice quieter now. “He came to me earlier with a golden spear, of all things. As if I would be swayed by such a trinket.”

“A golden spear?” you echoed, the faintest trace of amusement in your voice. “Perhaps he thought it symbolic of strength and conquest.”

Rhaenyra scoffed. “If he believes a princess of the blood can be won with such a gesture, he is sorely mistaken.”

You tilted your head, the ghost of a smile playing on your lips. “You rejected him, then.”

“Of course I did,” Rhaenyra said, leaning back slightly in her chair. “And not just the spear. I made it abundantly clear that I have no interest in him, nor his lion-infested castle.”

Her tone was sharp, but you detected the faintest flicker of guilt in her words. “Was it so cruelly done?” you asked gently.

Rhaenyra hesitated before sighing. “Perhaps I was… blunt. But Father had already dismissed him before he came to me. He should have known better than to pursue me directly.”

You nodded slowly, your fingers still tracing the patterns on your chalice. “Perhaps he hoped to charm you. Not all men take rejection gracefully.”

Rhaenyra’s gaze softened as she looked at you. “And you, sister? If such a lord came bearing golden gifts and lofty words, how would you respond?”

You considered her question for a moment, your expression thoughtful. “I would thank him for his effort and let him leave with his pride intact. Kindness costs nothing, even when rejecting someone.”

Rhaenyra laughed softly, though it was tinged with a hint of bitterness. “You’ve always been better at diplomacy than I. Father says the same. But what kindness do men like Jason Lannister deserve? He sees only the crown and the power it brings.”

You reached out, your hand finding hers on the table. “He may see power, but perhaps he also sees you. We cannot always know the hearts of others, sister.”

Rhaenyra squeezed your hand lightly, a gesture of gratitude and affection. “And what of you, Y/N? You are far more deserving of attention than I. Have you not had suitors of your own?”

The question caught you off guard, though you smiled faintly. “I have had no suitors, Rhaenyra, nor do I expect them. Men are often drawn to what they can see, and I… I do not inspire the same admiration that you do.”

Rhaenyra’s grip tightened slightly. “That is nonsense. You are as much a Targaryen as I, with all the beauty and grace our blood bestows. Any man who cannot see that is unworthy of you.”

You tilted your head, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “You are kind, sister, but we both know I am content in the quiet. Courtly games and suitors vying for my hand do not interest me.”

Rhaenyra leaned closer, her voice warm but teasing. “Perhaps you would not mind if the right man came along.”

“Perhaps,” you allowed, though the thought was far from your mind. “But it is a distant concern, if it is one at all.”

For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, the noise of the hall fading into the background as you shared a quiet moment of understanding. Whatever grievances Rhaenyra had with the lords of the realm, her affection for you was unwavering.

Finally, she let out a sigh, her tone lightening. “You always know how to calm me, Y/N. If only I could borrow some of your serenity when dealing with men like Jason Lannister.”

You smiled, your fingers returning to the patterns on your chalice. “Perhaps one day, sister, the men of this realm will learn to approach us with the respect we deserve. Until then, let us simply endure.”

Rhaenyra laughed again, the sound bright and genuine this time. “You truly are the better of us, Y/N. It’s no wonder Father treasures you so.”

As the evening wore on, the bond between the two of you remained unshaken, a quiet strength amidst the chaos of the hall. Though Rhaenyra’s frustrations lingered, your words had eased them, if only for a time.

The music swelled as the minstrels struck a lively tune, and the Great Hall came alive with the shuffle of boots and the rustle of silk as lords and ladies made their way to the center of the room. The floor was cleared in moments, and laughter rippled through the crowd as couples began to take their places for the dance. From his seat, Jason Lannister observed it all with a practiced ease, his sharp eyes scanning the movement on the floor below.

His gaze landed on Princess Rhaenyra as she stepped down from the high table. Her confidence was unmistakable, the Realm’s Delight commanding attention without effort. But it wasn’t Rhaenyra who held Jason’s focus—it was you, her blind sister, when Rhaenyra reached for your hand.

You hesitated at first, your lilac eyes turned slightly toward Rhaenyra as she murmured something to you. Her voice was too low for Jason to hear, but whatever she said brought a faint smile to your lips. You rose gracefully, your hand lightly resting in hers as she led you toward the center of the hall.

Jason straightened in his seat, intrigued. The sight of you entering the dance, your movements measured and deliberate, was unexpected. The soft glow of the torchlight caught the silver embroidery of your gown, the shimmering threads giving the illusion of movement even when you were still.

“You’re staring,” Tyland drawled from beside him, his tone laced with amusement.

Jason ignored him, watching as Rhaenyra guided you into the steps. To his astonishment, you moved with practiced ease, your body attuned to the music and the shifting rhythms of the dance. Partners changed with each turn, and you adapted seamlessly, your movements fluid and confident.

“It seems the blind princess dances better than half the court,” Tyland added, swirling the wine in his goblet. “And yet here you sit, sulking.”

Jason finally tore his gaze away to glare at his younger twin. “I’m not sulking.”

“Oh? Then what do you call this brooding silence?” Tyland smirked, leaning back in his chair. “Though I must admit, it’s entertaining to see you so captivated. Shall I fetch a goblet of courage for you?”

Jason ignored the barb, pushing his chair back and rising to his feet.

Tyland raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. “And where are you going, brother?”

Jason adjusted his tunic, glancing toward the dance floor. “I’m going to dance with the younger princess.”

Tyland let out a soft laugh. “Bold. Do try not to trip over her.”

Jason said nothing, his stride purposeful as he descended toward the floor. The music shifted to a lighter melody, the dancers spinning gracefully in their pairs. Jason observed for a moment, waiting for the perfect moment to insert himself into the rotation.

As the partners shifted once more, he stepped forward, placing himself before you as the next turn brought you toward him. To his surprise, you paused slightly before he could even speak, your head tilting slightly in his direction.

“Lord Jason Lannister,” you said softly, your lips curving into a faint smile. “Your presence is hard to mistake.”

Jason blinked, momentarily thrown off guard. “You… recognized me?” he asked, his voice low but edged with surprise.

Your hand reached out slightly, and he took it instinctively, guiding you into the next steps of the dance. “You carry a certain stride,” you said, your tone calm and assured. “And a presence that is difficult to overlook.”

Jason chuckled, his initial surprise giving way to a touch of admiration. “You flatter me, Princess. I did not think I’d left such an impression.”

“You nearly ran me down earlier,” you said lightly, the faintest hint of humor in your voice. “It would be difficult to forget.”

The corners of Jason’s mouth twitched into a smile. “A mistake I am glad to rectify now.”

You moved with practiced grace, following the rhythm of the music with an ease that belied your blindness. Jason guided you through the steps, his grip firm but careful, as though he feared misstepping and disrupting the flow of the dance.

“You dance well,” he remarked after a moment.

“Thank you,” you replied. “I was taught by the best instructors, though my lack of sight did pose a challenge at first.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” Jason said sincerely. “You move as if you can see the entire room.”

You smiled faintly, your tone thoughtful. “One does not need eyes to feel the music, my lord. Nor to trust a partner to guide them.”

Jason hesitated, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. “Then I hope I am proving worthy of your trust.”

“You have yet to falter,” you said, tilting your head toward him. “Though I suspect you are unaccustomed to leading without trying to command.”

Jason laughed, the sound low and warm. “You’ve discerned much about me in so short a time.”

“Perhaps,” you said, your voice soft. “Or perhaps I simply have a way of seeing what others do not.”

For a moment, Jason said nothing, the weight of your words settling over him. He guided you through another turn, his focus entirely on you as the other dancers blurred into the background. The music swelled, and the steps quickened, but you kept pace with him effortlessly.

At last, as the melody slowed, Jason’s voice dropped to a near murmur. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met, Princess.”

Your head tilted slightly, your expression unreadable. “And you, Lord Jason, are proving to be more than I expected.”

Before he could respond, the music shifted again, signaling another turn of partners. Jason reluctantly released your hand, stepping aside as the next partner approached to take his place. He lingered for a moment, watching as you continued to dance, your presence captivating him in a way he could not quite explain.

Jason Lannister sat back at his family’s table, his goblet resting in his hand, but his thoughts were elsewhere. The dance had ended, and the music shifted to a softer tune as the couples dispersed back to their seats or lingered to converse in the hall. His golden-haired brother, Tyland, leaned toward him, his smirk as sharp as the edge of a blade once more.

“Well?” Tyland drawled, swirling the wine in his goblet. “Did the lion roar, or was he tamed?”

Jason ignored him, his eyes following Ser Lorent Marbrand, who was escorting you back to the high table. You moved with a serene grace that made it easy to forget you couldn’t see the room around you. The knight’s protective presence seemed unnecessary; you navigated the space as if it were second nature.

Jason took a sip of his wine, his gaze narrowing slightly as Rhaenyra remained on the dance floor, basking in the attention of the gathered lords. Her laughter echoed through the hall, drawing eyes to her like moths to a flame. It was a stark contrast to your quiet return to your seat beside the King.

“Hmm,” Jason’s mother, Lady Leonella, murmured, leaning slightly toward him. “The King seems in high spirits tonight.”

Jason glanced toward the high table. King Viserys’s booming laughter filled the air, his jovial mood evident as he watched you sit beside him. His hand rested on your arm as he said something, his expression warm and fatherly. You smiled in response, your eyes tilted slightly toward him as you spoke softly. Whatever you said earned another hearty laugh from the King.

“He always looks like that when she’s near,” Tyland remarked, leaning back in his chair. “The younger princess has a knack for easing tensions. A rare gift, I’d say.”

Lady Leonella arched an eyebrow. “She does seem to command a unique sort of attention, doesn’t she? Quiet, yet... compelling.”

Jason didn’t respond, his jaw tightening as he watched the scene unfold. You were soft-spoken, poised, and effortlessly graceful—traits that seemed to draw others toward you without effort. It was a stark contrast to the brash energy of Rhaenyra, who now had several lords vying for her attention on the dance floor.

As Jason brooded, a movement at the high table caught his eye. One of the younger lords, bold and overeager, had stepped forward. Dressed in fine silk and adorned with a gaudy chain of gold, he approached the high table with the air of someone who believed himself invincible. Jason recognized him—Lord Harys of House Chester, an upjumped minor lord from the Crownlands whose father had earned the King’s favor decades prior.

“What’s this now?” Tyland asked, straightening in his seat as he followed Jason’s gaze.

Lord Harys stopped just shy of the high table and bowed deeply. His voice carried across the hall, drawing attention from nearby tables. “Your Grace, Princess Y/N,” he began, his tone overly smooth. “A dance with such grace as yours could inspire the bards for centuries. It is no wonder the King’s joy brightens the hall tonight.”

Jason scoffed audibly, the sound earning a glance from his mother. “What gall,” he muttered, setting his goblet down with a clink. “The fool thinks flattery will win him favor.”

“Or a place closer to the King’s purse,” Tyland added dryly, his smirk returning. “Though I can’t fault him for his boldness. He’s either courageous or too stupid to know better.”

Jason didn’t respond, his jaw tightening as he watched Lord Harys continue his display. The young lord straightened and turned his attention solely to you, his smile practiced but lacking sincerity.

“Princess,” Harys continued, inclining his head toward you. “It would honor me greatly to have a moment of your time. Your beauty and grace are unparalleled, and I would count myself blessed to know such virtues more closely.”

Jason’s hands clenched into fists beneath the table. Tyland noticed and chuckled softly. “You’re practically seething, brother. Should I go fetch him a chair, or will you swoop in yourself?”

Lady Leonella shushed Tyland with a wave of her hand, her eyes sharp as she turned her attention to Jason. “If you wish to act, Jason, do so with care. The King will not tolerate disruptions at his high table, no matter how galling the intruder may be.”

Jason exhaled sharply, forcing himself to lean back in his chair. “I won’t make a scene,” he said, though his gaze remained fixed on Lord Harys.

You, meanwhile, had tilted your head slightly in Lord Harys’s direction, your serene demeanor unchanged. “You are very kind, Lord Harys,” you said, your voice gentle yet measured. “But I fear I must decline. My father would surely miss my presence were I to leave his side so soon.”

The rejection was polite but firm, and Jason noted the faint tightening of Lord Harys’s smile. The young lord bowed again, though his retreat was less graceful than his approach.

“Wise of her,” Tyland murmured, lifting his goblet in mock salute. “Subtle, yet cutting.”

Jason said nothing, his eyes following you as you turned your attention back to the King. Viserys’s laughter boomed again, clearly pleased by the exchange, while Alicent remained composed but silent beside him.

“Will you let that fool’s attempt stand unchallenged?” Tyland teased, nudging Jason lightly with his elbow.

Jason shot his brother a glare. “He’s already embarrassed himself. There’s no need for me to make it worse.”

“And yet,” Tyland mused, his smirk widening, “I suspect you’re plotting your next move already.”

Jason didn’t respond, but his silence spoke volumes. As the hall returned to its revelry, he leaned forward slightly, his gaze never straying far from the high table. Whatever the night held, he wasn’t ready to concede just yet.

The warmth of the Great Hall seemed to dim slightly as the evening wore on, the air heavy with the mingling scents of roasted meats, spilled wine, and melting wax. You sat quietly at the high table, your hands resting lightly on your lap, listening to the hum of conversations and laughter swirling around you.

Beside you, your father, King Viserys, was beaming, his goblet in hand as he basked in the lively atmosphere of the celebration. His attention, however, soon turned back to you.

“My daughter,” he said warmly, his tone carrying the familiar blend of affection and authority. “You’ve been sitting here long enough. Go, mingle with the lords and ladies. Let them see what grace our family holds.”

You tilted your head slightly in his direction, the faintest smile on your lips. “I have mingled enough for one evening, Father. Surely, the court has seen all the grace they can endure.”

Viserys chuckled, but before he could press further, Queen Alicent turned from where she was tending to young Daeron and looked at you both with her characteristic calm. “Perhaps it would be best to let Y/N decide for herself, Your Grace,” she said, her voice measured but firm. “She knows her own limits better than anyone.”

Viserys waved a dismissive hand, his jovial tone still intact. “Nonsense, Alicent. The court always brightens with her presence. Have you not seen how they look at her? They practically hang on her every word.”

You turned your unseeing eyes toward your father, your expression serene but unreadable. “Most of them are liars,” you said softly, your tone devoid of malice but carrying a quiet weight.

The King’s laughter faltered, his joviality dimming as he looked at you. His smile waned, and a shadow of regret flickered across his face. “Y/N,” he began, his voice quieter now, “I only want to see you happy. You’ve always been so content in your own world, and for that, I blame myself.”

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in his tone. “Father, you are not to blame,” you said gently.

Viserys shook his head, setting his goblet down with a faint clink. “No, I am. I see how you sit here, so comfortable in your solitude, while others your age laugh and dance without a care. I’ve allowed you to retreat too much into yourself, thinking it was for your own good.” He paused, his eyes softening. “But I worry, my child. I worry that you are lonely.”

His words settled over you like a heavy cloak, and for a moment, the noise of the hall seemed to fade into the background.

“I am not lonely, Father,” you said softly. “I have my family, and that is enough.”

Viserys leaned closer, his expression earnest. “But is it truly enough? You deserve more, Y/N. You deserve friends, companions… perhaps even someone who could care for you as deeply as I do.”

Alicent, still seated nearby, watched the exchange with an unreadable expression, though she did not interject.

You reached out, your hand finding your father’s and resting lightly over it. “You have given me a life of peace, Father. I do not feel deprived of anything. But I appreciate your concern more than I can say.”

Viserys’s hand tightened over yours, his eyes brimming with a mix of pride and sadness. “You have always been too gracious for this world,” he said quietly. “But remember, Y/N, the world is not meant to be faced alone.”

You nodded slightly, though his words lingered in your mind. “I will try, Father,” you said softly. “For you, I will try.”

Viserys smiled faintly, though the flicker of regret in his eyes remained. “That is all I can ask, my dear,” he said, his voice regaining some of its warmth. “Now, let us not dwell on such somber matters. Tonight is a celebration, after all.”

You offered him a faint smile, your heart heavy but warmed by his sincerity. As the noise of the hall returned to its full volume, you couldn’t help but wonder if your father’s concerns held more truth than you were willing to admit.

The warmth of your father’s hand still lingered as you withdrew yours gently. His earlier words weighed heavily on your mind, though his smile had returned as he turned his attention back to the celebration. After a moment of quiet reflection, you straightened in your seat and called softly, “Ser Lorent.”

Your sworn shield appeared at once, his boots light on the stone floor as he approached. “Princess,” he said, his tone low and respectful.

“Escort me down to the hall,” you said, rising gracefully to your feet. “I believe I should mingle, if only to ease my father’s worries. At least for tonight.”

Ser Lorent hesitated for the briefest moment, his gaze flicking to the King, who gave him a nod of approval. “As you wish, Your Grace,” the knight replied, offering his arm.

With his steady guidance, you descended the steps from the high table, the faint rustle of your gown and the sound of your boots against the stone carrying through the hall. The hum of conversation softened slightly as those nearest to the high table turned to watch your approach. You could feel their eyes on you, a mix of admiration and curiosity palpable in the air.

The first to greet you was Lady Redwyne, a matronly figure with a presence as commanding as her stature. She approached with a cluster of noble ladies trailing behind her, their whispers quieting as they drew near.

“Princess Y/N,” Lady Redwyne said warmly, inclining her head. “What a joy it is to see you gracing the hall this evening. Truly, your presence elevates the occasion.”

You inclined your head in return, a polite smile gracing your lips. “You are kind, Lady Redwyne. The honor is mine to be among such esteemed company.”

Lady Redwyne’s smile deepened, and she gestured to the ladies behind her. “May I introduce you to some of the finest flowers of the Reach?” She listed their names, and though they spoke with nervous politeness, their awe was evident.

The conversation turned to light matters—fashion, the music, the festivities—your voice calm and measured as you responded with grace. The ladies seemed eager to engage with you, their initial hesitance melting away as the conversation flowed.

Midway through the exchange, however, Lady Redwyne’s attention faltered. You could feel the subtle shift in her tone as she spoke, her words carrying an edge of distraction.

“Forgive me, Princess,” she said with a polite smile, “but it seems the attention of certain lords remains as undivided as ever.”

Though you could not see, you tilted your head slightly, sensing her meaning. “Is that so?” you asked, your tone light with curiosity.

Lady Redwyne laughed softly, though it did little to mask her disapproval. “Indeed. Some men find it difficult to understand the concept of boundaries.”

She said no more, and you did not press her, though you sensed there was more to her words.

Unbeknownst to you, Lady Redwyne had caught the lingering gaze of Jason Lannister, seated across the hall at his family’s table. The Lord of Casterly Rock, for all his earlier rejection, seemed unable to keep his attention from straying toward you. His golden-haired head tilted slightly as he watched your every movement, his expression contemplative but unmistakably admiring.

Lady Redwyne’s sharp eyes narrowed, and she turned to her husband, Lord Redwyne, who stood nearby nursing a goblet of wine. Leaning toward him, she murmured in a tone low enough to escape notice, “Look at that lion, eyeing the princess like she’s a prize to be won. He was spurned by her sister and the King only hours ago, and yet here he sits, shameless as ever.”

Lord Redwyne followed her gaze and frowned. “Ambition rarely yields to rejection,” he replied dryly. “Perhaps he thinks himself clever, pursuing the younger sister after failing with the elder.”

“Clever, indeed,” Lady Redwyne scoffed, her expression sour. “The court will eat him alive if he tries. Mark my words.”

Jason, oblivious to their whispered conversation, leaned back in his chair, his fingers tapping idly on the stem of his goblet. His twin, Tyland, noticed his preoccupation and smirked.

“Still staring, brother?” Tyland asked, his tone laced with amusement. “It’s becoming quite obvious.”

Jason’s eyes flicked toward his brother, his expression unbothered. “She carries herself differently,” he said simply, his gaze drifting back to you.

“Differently than what? Rhaenyra?” Tyland pressed, his grin widening. “Or every other woman in this hall?”

Jason ignored him, his attention returning to you as you continued to converse with the noble ladies. Though you remained unaware of his gaze, your poise and quiet confidence held him spellbound.

Lady Redwyne, meanwhile, shifted her attention back to you, her disapproval of Jason carefully hidden behind a pleasant smile. “Princess, have you had much chance to enjoy the music this evening?”

“Not as much as I’d like,” you replied with a small smile. “Though I find the melodies no less beautiful from afar.”

The conversation moved on, and though the lords and ladies who approached you vied for your attention, Jason’s presence lingered at the edge of your awareness, an unseen but unshakable shadow. You continued to carry yourself with the same calm grace, unaware of the undercurrent of tension that rippled through the hall with each stolen glance from the lion of Casterly Rock.

Jason Lannister leaned forward in his chair, his goblet resting forgotten on the table. His gaze remained fixed on you as you moved through the hall with practiced elegance, your hand lightly resting on Ser Lorent’s arm. He watched as you exchanged pleasantries with the gathered lords and ladies, your soft voice carrying just enough to be heard by those closest to you. There was something in your demeanor—serene, composed—that set you apart from the flurry of vibrant personalities in the room.

“She’s not Rhaenyra, you know,” Tyland said from beside him, his voice teasing but not unkind. “Your new fascination doesn’t carry the same fire. She’s quieter, softer.”

Jason glanced at his younger twin, his expression sharp. “I know that.”

“And yet,” Tyland continued, taking a deliberate sip of his wine, “you’re still staring. Again. Are you planning to approach her, or shall I have the herald announce your intentions so everyone else is clear?”

Jason scowled, his hand tightening around the stem of his goblet. “She’s not like the others.”

“No,” Tyland agreed, tilting his head as he studied you. “She’s not. Which is precisely why the court will tear you apart if you try to get near her. Don’t think the Redwynes didn’t notice your little show of admiration.”

Jason shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his eyes narrowing as Lady Redwyne cast him another sharp glance from across the hall. “Let them whisper,” he muttered. “Their opinions don’t concern me.”

Tyland smirked. “No, but her father’s might. Or have you forgotten how Viserys dismissed you outright this very evening?”

Jason’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing. The memory of Viserys’s polite but firm rejection still stung, as did Rhaenyra’s cutting words. Yet neither had left him so preoccupied as you did now. There was something about you that drew him in—a quiet magnetism that left him restless and unfocused.

“She’s untouchable, brother,” Tyland said, leaning closer. “The King dotes on her like a treasure, and the court treats her like a mystery. If you think you can simply saunter over and charm her, you’re more of a fool than I thought.”

Jason set his goblet down with a clink, his frustration bubbling just below the surface. “I don’t intend to ‘charm’ her, Tyland.”

“Oh?” Tyland raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Then what, pray tell, is your plan? Stand here brooding all night while she graces every lord and lady with her attention except you?”

Jason exhaled sharply, his hand running through his hair. His mind raced with conflicting thoughts. Tyland’s words stung because they carried truth; approaching you would draw unwanted scrutiny, not only from the court but from your family. And yet the thought of leaving the hall without speaking to you again felt unbearable.

“She noticed me,” Jason said finally, his voice quiet.

Tyland blinked, surprised by the admission. “She did?”

Jason nodded, his gaze drifting back to you. “During the dance. Before I could even speak, she recognized me. Said I had a certain presence and stride that was hard to mistake.”

For once, Tyland was silent, his smirk fading as he regarded his older brother with a rare seriousness. “She said that?”

Jason nodded again, his expression distant. “She sees more than anyone gives her credit for. And she listens.”

Tyland leaned back in his chair, his expression contemplative. “Well, that’s something, I suppose. But even so, you’ll have to tread carefully, Jason. A misstep here could cost you more than your pride.”

Jason clenched his fists beneath the table, his frustration mounting. Across the hall, you were speaking with Lady Redwyne and a cluster of noble ladies, your gentle laughter carrying faintly over the din. The sight of you—so poised, so seemingly untouched by the scheming and ambitions of those around you—only deepened his resolve.

“I’ll wait,” Jason said finally, his voice low but firm. “The timing has to be right.”

Tyland tilted his head, his smirk returning. “Patient for once, are we? Miracles truly do happen.”

Jason ignored the barb, his focus entirely on you. His twin was right; you were untouchable, a treasure too closely guarded to be reached by a single bold move. But Jason Lannister was nothing if not persistent, and the thought of you—your voice, your presence—was enough to keep him in the hall long after the festivities had begun to wane.

For now, he remained seated, his gaze never straying far from you as he waited for an opportunity that would not invite the court’s scrutiny—or your father’s ire. Yet deep down, he knew that patience was not his strong suit, and the thought of standing on the sidelines for too long was nearly as unbearable as leaving the hall without speaking to you again.

...

The Great Hall had begun to empty, the energy of the evening ebbing like the tide. Conversations grew quieter, and the clinking of goblets and plates was sporadic now, replaced by the sounds of servants clearing the remnants of the feast. You sat at the high table, your posture still poised, though the weight of the evening had begun to settle into your shoulders. The scent of spilled wine and fading candles lingered in the air, mingling with the faint chill that crept in as the night deepened.

Reaching out, your fingers found the neck of a wine jug resting beside your goblet. Carefully, you tilted it, the soft glug of the liquid filling the cup satisfying in its simplicity. Your hand hovered for a moment, gauging the weight of the vessel, before setting it back down. You brought the cup to your lips, the tart sweetness of Arbor Red warming your senses.

“Your Grace,” Ser Lorent’s steady voice broke the stillness beside you. “Shall I escort you back to your chambers? The celebrations are winding down, and most of the guests have already retired.”

You lowered the cup, considering his words. “Most of them?” you asked softly, your unseeing eyes turning toward him. “And what of my sister? Where is Rhaenyra?”

Ser Lorent hesitated, and though he stood just behind your chair, you could sense the shift in his demeanor. “She is not here,” he said carefully. “The last I saw, she was in the company of Ser Harwin Strong.”

You tilted your head slightly, digesting his words. The name carried weight, a name you’d heard whispered in hallways and murmured over goblets of wine. “Ser Harwin Strong,” you repeated, your tone even. “Of course she is.”

Ser Lorent remained silent, his duty-bound discretion apparent. He would not comment on the implications of your sister’s choices, but you felt no need for him to. Your thoughts had already turned elsewhere.

“She is betrothed to the wrong man,” you said softly, your voice carrying a note of quiet conviction.

Ser Lorent didn’t respond, though his stillness spoke volumes. His silence was not one of agreement, but one of loyalty—to you, to your sister, and to the crown.

You took another sip of your wine, the warmth of the drink doing little to ease the unease that settled in your chest. “Laenor Velaryon is a good man,” you continued after a moment, speaking more to yourself than to him. “But the wrong man for her.”

Ser Lorent shifted slightly behind you, his boots scuffing lightly against the stone floor. “It is not for me to say, Princess.”

“No,” you agreed, setting the cup down gently on the table. “It isn’t. But we all see it, don’t we? Everyone whispers of it.”

Ser Lorent remained silent, his expression unreadable.

You sighed, the weight of the evening finally pressing against you. The sounds of the hall faded further as the last of the guests trickled out, and even the servants moved with quiet efficiency, eager to finish their tasks.

“I would like to retire now,” you said softly, turning your head slightly toward him. “The night has been long enough.”

Ser Lorent stepped forward, his arm offered to guide you. “Of course, Your Grace.”

You rose from your seat with practiced grace, your hand resting lightly on his as he led you away from the high table. The cool air of the corridor was a welcome relief from the warmth of the hall, and the soft echo of your steps against the stone floor provided a comforting rhythm.

As the two of you walked, you allowed yourself a moment of quiet reflection. The evening had been full of whispers and glances, of strained smiles and unspoken truths. Your father’s words still lingered in your mind, his wish for you to find joy and companionship weighing heavily on your heart. Yet as the night ended, you couldn’t help but feel that you were still adrift in a sea of courtly games and ambitions that were not your own.

But for now, you pushed those thoughts aside. The sanctuary of your chambers awaited, and with it, the promise of solitude. And in the quiet of that space, perhaps you would find the peace that the court so often denied you.

...

Jason Lannister leaned back in his chair, his green eyes following your every movement as you rose from the high table. Guided by Ser Lorent, you moved with a grace that seemed almost ethereal, your hand lightly resting on the knight’s arm. The faint rustle of your gown and the deliberate click of your boots on the stone floor carried through the now-quiet hall. Jason’s goblet still sat untouched on the table before him, his focus entirely consumed by the sight of you retreating toward the doors.

Lady Leonella Lannister, seated to Jason’s right, noticed the sharpness of her son’s gaze and arched an elegant brow. “Jason,” she said, her tone carrying a hint of admonishment, “you’re staring again.”

Jason tore his eyes away, though he didn’t bother to mask his interest. “Am I?” he replied lightly, though his voice lacked its usual carefree tone.

His mother’s sharp eyes softened with something close to understanding. “You’ve been staring all night,” she said quietly, leaning closer to ensure her words were for him alone. “But staring won’t win you anything in this court.”

Jason didn’t reply immediately, his gaze drifting toward the now-closed doors through which you had disappeared. “I think I’ll stay at the Red Keep a while longer,” he said finally, his tone casual but firm.

Lady Leonella blinked, surprised. “Longer? Why? The festivities have ended.”

At the far end of the table, Tyland, who had been quietly nursing his wine, perked up at his brother’s words. He set his goblet down with a soft clink and leaned forward. “You’re staying?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity and no small amount of suspicion. “Why, may I ask? You’ve never been one to linger when there’s no game left to hunt.”

Jason shot his twin a pointed look. “The Red Keep has its charms,” he said, his tone measured. “And its opportunities.”

Tyland smirked, though his golden eyes narrowed with understanding. “Ah. So it’s not the keep itself that interests you. It’s its inhabitants.”

Lady Leonella sighed, setting her goblet down more forcefully than necessary. “Jason, if this is about the younger princess…”

“And if it is?” Jason interrupted, his voice steady but resolute.

Leonella frowned, her expression a mix of concern and exasperation. “Then you’re walking a dangerous path. You saw how the King dismissed you earlier tonight, not to mention Rhaenyra’s outright rejection. Do you think Viserys will tolerate your attention shifting to his youngest daughter?”

Jason’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t look away. “I don’t intend to act recklessly, Mother.”

“Recklessly or not,” Tyland interjected with a laugh, “you’re wading into treacherous waters. The court is already buzzing about you—first rejected by one sister, now lingering for another. It won’t go unnoticed.”

Jason turned to his twin, his gaze sharp. “Let them talk. It changes nothing.”

“Does it?” Tyland countered, leaning forward. “The court is a beast that feeds on whispers, Jason. You can’t charm your way out of this one if you’re not careful.”

Lady Leonella sighed, her hand brushing against the stem of her goblet. “You’ve always been stubborn,” she said softly, her tone less cutting now. “But stubbornness will only get you so far when dealing with dragons.”

Jason’s expression softened, though his resolve didn’t waver. “I’ll tread carefully,” he promised. “But I’ve made my decision. I’m staying.”

Tyland chuckled, shaking his head. “Very well, brother. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when the King or the court decides to turn its attention on you.”

Jason ignored his twin’s teasing, his mind already turning over the possibilities. He knew the risks, and he knew the scrutiny that would come with his decision. But as he watched you leave the hall, your presence lingering in his mind like an unspoken promise, he felt something stir within him—a resolve that even his family’s warnings couldn’t shake.

For now, he would wait. The Red Keep was a place of patience as much as it was ambition, and Jason Lannister was a man who knew how to play the long game.

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x DC AU: Danny didn't want to rely on his rogues, but Tucker's computer skills only got them so far and if the media black out continues... Danny knows it's not going to be pretty for them. Nightmares begin to plague the Justice League.

---

Danny gets back from a shitty conversation with Clockwork and in his frustration, accidentally sets off one of the new GIW sensors that his parents allowed to be installed in the lab. Their collaboration seemed to be going no where but when Danny had new holes blasted through him... it must be going somewhere. Damn it.

The commotion is loud enough that Jazz hears it from her room above the lab (he knows she listens to more than just the lab... it's cause she cares, even if it is a bit invasive.) and rushes in to play the distraction while Danny gets away. This time it works- the Drs. Fenton might have the worst aim in the city but they demand all shots cease if a civilian is nearby- Next time his mom might be aiming her gun at him and not the ground. Danny decides he'll buy Jazz a coffee on his way home.

But first, new holes. Yikes. That like, needs medical attention- He heads to Tucker's place and he's pretty sure Sam is already there.

"Danny! What the fuck, did Clockwork-" She starts, her meticulous cat eyeliner making her glare all the deeper.

"Nah, it's the stupid GIW sensor, the stupid one I told you guys about that has a spring lose in the back?"

"I thought we decided those weren't a concern?" Tucker looks him over, face covered in undisguised and very blatant concern.

"Yeah well, Clocky pissed me off so I forgot about them when I came back in through the lab portal-"

"you were supposed to be practicing making your own." Sam interrupts.

"-And when I did, the thing got knocked and I was swatted like immediately. Jazz launched herself into the lab so Mom made them stop shooting and it gave me enough time to get out." Danny continued to explain, ignoring his friend's 'i told you so' faces.

"Dude. We're pushing it close this week. Sam already had a confrontation with the lab guys and I already got blacklisted on my new persona accounts. We're like seriously threading the needle for getting caught." Tucker, pulls his glasses down to pinch the bridge of his nose and Danny and Sam both get what he's really saying. They need to lie low.

"What did CW say to piss you off?" Sam asks after a silent moment.

"He said nothing really, just like he always does, but insinuated I should try getting a rogue to help." Danny sighs.

"What, Like getting Ember to announce the GIW invasion on her tour? We already agreed that-" Sam is getting angry as she speaks so Tuck cuts her off- "It's a bad Idea. She is- They are all just as likely to get captured and hurt as you are if you go out of town." He comes to the same conclusion they've agreed on for weeks. No rogue involvement.

"Maybe we just need to sleep on it... Hey... wait." Danny sighs, but then his gears start to turn.

"Nocturn. We need Nocturn to help us. He can get the message out through dreams." Danny comes to the new conclusion and his friends look hesitant but at least like they're considering it.

"Isn't he an ancient? He's not going to help us for free." Tucker, ever the Egyptian god in these moments.

"Most people don't take their dreams literally." Sam, ever the skeptic in these moments.

"Yeah but, if they dream it enough times, and they're the right people to do something... they can look it up and then at least see that there is a problem?" Danny sounds hopeful and its the first time he's sounded that way in months.

"What, you're gunna give Batman nightmares?" Tucker snickers but Sam looks inspired.

"That's exactly what he's going to do. We need to haunt the Justice League. They'll see past the fake facade the GIW put up online and they'll be able to get the right legislation passed." Sam is practically buzzing.

"Okay, so lets get scheming- What do you get the primordial beast of the unconscious? Should I google 'what to get someone who has everything'? " Danny laughs.

_____

Bruce and his children rarely do feelings when they have breakfast in the morning after a night of separate patrols, but it seems as though the room is plagued with unease. Tim looks about as tired as ever, so his unease is probably attributable to WE board meetings, but its unlike the rest of his children to be so... disturbed. For some reason, after Alfred has excused them all from eating more than a few nibbles, they make it to the cave. Bruce is glad for the noise his children bring.

The nightmare's he's been having are following a dark plot. A town, a boy who looks like he was kin, and so, so much death. Bruce has had vivid dreams before in life, but this nightmare is... unreal. He tries to remind himself that it's just a nightmare.

When his JL emergency communicator goes off at the computer desk, he's not expecting it to be Dinah Lance. She and her Birds are typically wary of him in Gotham, even if they work well together in the League. He answers it like he would any Batman call, with silence.

"Bats, we have a problem. Any chance you've been having weird dreams about a kid getting experimented on or a town being burned down? Ghosts? Lazarus portals?" Dinah sounds exhausted, but Bruce snaps to her voice with rapt attention. As do all of his children.

"I-" Bruce takes a look around the room, everyone's heads except for Tim's nodding up and down with distress," We all have."

"Something tells me that they whole JL is. Everyone I've talked to this week has had a variation of the same dream. We either have a telepath trying to tell us something, or something even worse than that."

"I'll call emergency meeting, we need to collect details and try to determine the complete message."

"I'll send you what I've noted down so far, sans personal details of course, it's definitely in a town called Amity Park though. My client this morning saw the sign."

Batman grunts and the call ends. It's time to get to work.

----

When the Justice League finally arrives, the town is glowing, and everything feels like... sleep. smothering. snoring. smoking. smoldering.

And then, despite the exhaustion that echos within them, the trudge onwards. The noise of laser guns certainly wakes them up a bit.

[hivemuthur]

In Thy Name - Ch.8. - Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

viktorxfemale!reader NSFW, gothic AU

Reader is a highly renown linguist hired by Viktor, a paranormal investigator, for a case he cannot crack himself.

<- previous chapter MASTERLIST + SOURCES next chapter ->

word count: 6,3K

author's note: Playlist here! @rennethen and @mithrava thank you for beta-reading! And art, of course, by @cringemaster3! Some lore at the bottom so we don't have too many spoilers here :')

Cross-posted on AO3

—

The first light of dawn slips through the curtains, pale and hesitant—unwilling to disturb the stillness. Viktor wakes slowly, warmth at his side. His body is soft this morning, unusually so; aches have ebbed, the nightly tension loosened. His thoughts move lazily, free of their usual iron filings, as though sleep has at last fulfilled its contract. The craving that keeps him half-alive—not merely answered but met in kind, recognised, given back to him—settles into something tender and glowing beneath his sternum. His pulse glides instead of hammers. For a long moment he simply watches you, awash in serenity, tasting a peace he once filed under myth.

You lie there, deep in sleep, your face soft, untroubled. He studies the gentle lift of each breath, how the sheet dips at the small of your back. Hair spills across the pillow in waves, a disordered halo that makes you look both mortal and touched by something older. He soaks in the scene—the fleeting heat, the unguarded kindness—until it hurts to keep looking.

Your lips, still flushed where his had been, spark a pulse of wonder and alarm in his chest. How perilously near joy sits to loss. The warmth of you lingers, a quiet ache that spreads, twisting with every heartbeat.

Yet dawn is stingy, and he has no luxury of lingering.

He eases from the mattress, careful as a thief. The bed creaks; the linens sigh; you sleep on, dream-bound. A cough rises like a blade through his ribs; he swallows it, locking his jaw until the spasm dies. Dressing feels ceremonial—each button fastened a small vow to whatever comes next, each tug of fabric a silent argument between body-wish and future-dread.

He lifts his coat from the chair, fingertips pricking with cold wool, and longing slips its hook into him—already yearning for the place he’s just left. Still, he steps into the corridor.

The hallway yawns dark and hush-deep. Weariness, not the familiar spear of leg-pain, drags at his bones; he toys with the idea of detouring to the empty guest bed, hiding for another hour. That thought scatters when Mrs Samkova glides from the gloom like a well-dressed omen.

Her gaze travels him head to heel, pausing on the coat folded over his arm. A needle-fine smile tucks into one corner of her mouth.

“Out early, Mr Velesny?” she asks, voice soft as moth-dust, yet edged.

“I—no, not yet, I was only—” He trips over syllables; she seems to savour the stumble.

“No matter.” The smile deepens into something a shade more cryptic. “I sought you anyway. Father is awake. A rare window to speak.”

The words land sharp. For an instant he merely blinks, brain kicking into a higher gear. Answers might finally uncoil from that dying throat upstairs. He straightens, lungs filling with something colder than air.

“Thank you,” he says, voice even but threaded with tension, as a new weight settles beneath his coat like concealed lead. “I’ll go to him now.”

Mrs Samkova sets off, and Viktor follows her through a corridor where the lamps have guttered out, leaving only the weak dawn sifting across warped floorboards. The air changes here—cold, almost metallic—carrying the faint odour of medicines and something brittle, like old parchment singed at the edges. Each groan of wood under their feet feels amplified, as though the house itself means to witness whatever passes behind the last closed door.

At the threshold she pauses, one gloved hand on the latch, the other smoothing her apron as though order still matters. With a curt nod she pushes the door open and steps aside.

Morning spills in, anaemic and pitiless, across a chamber that smells of boiled linen, stale sweat, and oak that has forgotten what sunlight is. Mr Černoglav lies half-propped by pillows, breathing in short, ragged pulls that rasp the silence. The sight catches Viktor off-guard. He remembers a man who carried his name like a ledger of obligations—now reduced to parchment skin stretched over bone, eyes too bright in a face already receding.

Viktor’s heart gives an odd, arrhythmic beat. He steps closer, coat whispered in his fists. Mr Černoglav’s gaze finds him, pupils huge and frightened, yet oddly relieved. With effort he lifts a tremoring hand; gone is the courtly firmness Viktor met weeks earlier. Only frailty now, bones bird-light beneath parchment.

“Come closer,” the old man rasps. The voice is a dry leaf in a winter wind. “No strength left to shout. I would use the whisper wisely—help my house if I can.”

Viktor lowers himself to the bedside chair, suddenly aware of his own pulse, alive and stubborn, hammering in his throat. Mr Černoglav’s fingers clasp his—papery, cool, desperate for anchor.

“Have you hidden anything from me?” Viktor asks, voice matching the hush. “Illness… bargains… spirits bound in secret?”

A spasm crosses the frail man’s features—fear, maybe shame. “No pacts,” he pants. “Only madness. A thread that frays one soul every generation. Attic journals—take them before my daughter burns them out of fear.”

He pauses, lungs catching, as though each syllable scrapes raw his dwindling time. “Afflictions…? Only breath that thins until it fails. We are born, we gasp, we vanish.”

Viktor bends nearer, hearing the blood in his own ears. “The journals—have you read them yourself?”

A shadow passes behind the dying man’s eyes. “Never. I feared their dust. Ignoring the past—that was my refuge.”

The admission hangs heavy. A rattle journeys up Mr Černoglav’s throat; for an instant terror surfaces naked—he stares at Viktor as if measuring how much of eternity fits behind another man’s eyes. His lips twitch, wanting confession or absolution, Viktor cannot tell.

Suddenly the old resolve crumbles. Shoulders sink, thin chest heaves shallowly. Every breath is a coin spent. Viktor, watching, feels the raw animal dread beneath the last scraps of dignity: this man is afraid of the dark closing in. Afraid there will be no ledger, no reckoning—only the long blank.

Viktor reaches, almost without thought, setting his other hand over the first. The gesture is small, but Mr Černoglav’s gaze softens, terror ebbing for a heartbeat. Outside, somewhere deep in the timbers, the house creaks as though exhaling with them.

“I see it in you, my son,” the old man whispers, voice eroding syllable by syllable. “My son…” The words decay into a breathless murmur. Panic floods his clouded eyes; with sudden, desperate strength he clenches Viktor’s lapels—paper-thin fingers pressing crescent dents into the cloth. “Don’t leave me, my son. I am afraid. He’s waiting for me, and I am afraid…”

Terror flares through Viktor like a struck match. The grip is feeble, yet it roots him to the floor; for one vertiginous second he is a child before his own father’s deathbed, helpless to barter one more hour of life. Behind him Mrs Samkova steps forward, hand to sternum, ready to pry him free, but Viktor lifts two fingers—halt. His pulse kicks hard against his ribs, throat taut as wire. Leaning in, he sets his lips close to the brittle shell of the man’s ear, letting him feel the warmth of living breath.

“I am with you, Father. Don’t be afraid. I’m here.”

A tear escapes him—hot, salt, humiliating in its swiftness—yet it feels right, a currency paid to memory. His own father’s silhouette flickers behind his eyelids: a stronger man brought low in a similarly dim room. The tear seems to shoulder some of the old man’s burden; Mr Černoglav’s fingers slacken, the rigid terror in his jaw easing as if a knot untied. Air begins to move easier in his lungs, though thin and whistling.

Soon he drifts into a light, uneasy slumber, features settling from panic to sheer exhaustion. Viktor keeps his hand clasped, feeling the faint, stubborn flutter of a pulse that will, before long, die out. The hush that follows is thick enough to taste. He notices how small the sickroom sounds grow: the muted tick of a mantel clock, the file-rasp of the man’s breath, the distant shuffle of servants below. Death is not dramatic, Viktor thinks; it is meticulous, incremental, always advancing while you look elsewhere. He has studied mechanism his whole life, yet this unhurried machinery of ending still unnerves him.

He thinks of his parents—how grief never screamed but seeped, patient as groundwater, until marrow accepted its chill. Death never frightened him, not truly; what frightened him was its habit of shadowing love. So he ran faster, built higher, worked longer, as though cleverness could outpace the inevitable. But the inevitable is polite, merely waiting for the hour one stops moving.

A gentle pressure on his shoulder pulls him from the spiral. Mrs Samkova leans in, voice feather-soft. “Let’s have some breakfast, shall we?” The practicality of it feels misplaced and merciful at once.

He nods, stiff, and rises. One last look: the old man sleeps, chest hitching like a bellows on its final draw. How many breaths remain—fifty? Twenty? The question gnaws. A sudden heaviness swells in the room, a weight Viktor cannot lift, so he turns before it crushes him.

Downstairs, a new dread waits—you. You stand by the table, spine straight, hands folded together so tightly your knuckles blanch. The moment your eyes find his, something flares—hope, guilt, longing—before your gaze drops, as though the spark itself is shameful. It hits Viktor with unexpected force, lodging beneath his breastbone: fear that doubt has already germinated in you, that the night’s covenant might tarnish in the cold light of responsibility.

From that heartbeat on, his purpose narrows: secure a private moment, uproot that doubt before it can set claws. Mrs Samkova, efficient to the last, suggests you and Viktor retrieve the attic journals yourselves. He agrees too quickly; you acquiesce, though a faint tremor clings to your breathing. Longing and guilt war in you—desire made hungrier by the very danger shadowing it. The more clearly you glimpse the abyss, the more fiercely you cling to the warmth just tasted.

She leads you both along the second-floor corridor: wallpaper dulled by decades, sconces webbed over, carpets breathing dust with every footfall. The air thickens with the smell of disuse—old books, old fears. At the corridor’s end, a narrow stair curls upward, boards moaning under unfamiliar weight. As you follow Viktor’s slower steps, your mind strays to the vacancy he’d left in the bed: the cold hollow shaped exactly to him, a reminder of how quickly presence can dissolve into ache. His scent still lingers in the sheets, taunting comfort. The ache sharpens into want, reckless and consuming, heedless of cost.

Ahead, Viktor moves with dogged intent, weariness dragging at his shoulders yet unable to stall him. Duty to the curse, duty to you—both spurring him upward. Every creak of timber underfoot beats like an hourglass turned, each mote of dust a whispered warning that their time, your time, is painfully finite. And still there is no thought of retreat—only the urgent need to fight whatever darkness waits, to claim whatever love has risen between the blows.

Now, as you climb the narrow stairs, the silence feels oppressive—boards breathing beneath each footstep, dust motes drifting like stalled snowfall. It is as if the house itself understands the weight you both carry: Why did you leave? The question clings to rafters and splinters alike.

The attic receives you with a damp chill. Boxes sag, their twine long slack; ledgers lean like headstones on cracked shelves. Air tastes of old paper and moth wings. You and Viktor linger just inside the threshold, each heartbeat suddenly deafening. Focus slips, slides—until the hush itself becomes accusation.

Viktor moves first. He prowls the shadows, fingertips ghosting over a crate as though reading Braille in the grain. Not inventorying objects—inventorying consequence. His jaw sets, then shifts; ideas fight behind his eyes. Doubt, calculation, wish—none win. You sense battleground in every shallow breath he takes.

You open your mouth, ready to spill the unanswered demand burning your tongue. Viktor exhales instead—a sound part surrender, part warning—and claims your waist. His mouth seals over yours, teeth grazing your lower lip as though to mark proof of life. The kiss is abrupt, unplanned: a faulty dam giving way. He draws back only a tremor, foreheads resting—two fugitives stealing air.

“Forgive me,” he whispers, voice taut with things unsaid. “I didn’t mean to vanish. I thought—if I left before morning, you’d be spared the questions.”

Your pulse jumps; you hold him as ballast. The taste of dread tinges every breath between you. “Are you guarding my virtue?” you murmur, wry curve ghosting your mouth. Beneath the jest: a plea—tell me it mattered.

“Yes,” he answers, the truth soft as torn linen. A flicker of self-mockery. “Am I mistaken?”

“Virtue’s threadbare,” you joke, but it lands brittle. “You could’ve shaken me awake.”

“But you looked—” He nuzzles the curve of your jaw, voice faltering to near-ache. “You looked untouched by fear. I wanted to leave you one hour without it.” His hands skim your spine—tender, covetous, delaying the inevitable.

“I wasn’t fearless when I woke alone,” you confess. Fingertips hook in his collar, pulling him down until breath and words tangle. Need me, your grip says. Tell me I’m not a distraction.

“It won’t happen again,” he vows, words rasping against your throat. Yet the tremor in his arms betrays stakes beyond pleasure. You feel his fear lodged between each vertebra.

“The waking or the reason?” you challenge, brushing lips over his in invitation and interrogation.

“The waking,” he answers—mouth hot, desperate. Tongue claims you with unsteady fire; his brow is damp, and you greedily want every drop. You ask once more:

“Do you truly promise?”

He pauses—whole body drawn tight—then cups your face, thumb stroking the swell of your lip. “While breath remains here, yes.” His sincerity is frightening; it tastes like farewell wrapped as oath.

You shake your head. “No—promise that you remain.” Your fingers circle his wrists, anchoring him. “Stay through whatever comes.”

A storm sweeps his features blank. Hope, despair, longing—all flash and retreat. “I can’t swear eternity I don’t yet own,” he says at last—voice hushed, edged by helpless fury. “To lie would shame the truth I owe you.”

“Viktor,” you breathe, name breaking like glass. Want and caution war in your blood: one says take this fire before it fades; the other warns touch the flame and lose more than skin. His answering gaze mirrors the same split—mind ruthless with reason, body reckless with need. In that trembling stalemate, mouths meet again, speaking the only language left: I will burn for you, even while the dark is still coming.

“My darling,” he whispers, voice gravelled with feeling, almost as if affection itself scrapes him raw. “My dearest, beautiful companion.” The words fall between you like salve over an open wound. “You have given me more happiness than I believed I was owed, even if only for these stolen days.”

He seals the confession with a kiss to your brow—gentle, aching. When he draws back, he leaves his forehead resting against yours, sharing breath, as though the very air might snap if either of you moved too quickly. “Let’s collect what we came for,” he murmurs, “and leave together. Every step will be one nearer, not farther.”

You nod and turn to the shelves. Your fingertips skim cracked leather, tracing the raised titles of the Černoglav ledgers—each volume dense with old rot and older grief. One by one you ease them free; their spines creak like arthritic bones. The silence you keep is not emptiness but reverence. These books weigh more than paper should, as if secrets have mass.

For the moment, the promise that life might still be wrestled from ruin is enough. You cling to it, not because logic allows it but because somewhere in you a shard of faith has taken root—faith not in saints or candle smoke, but in the flawed, brilliant man beside you. When the dark closes in, that shard glows fierce as an ember; you cup it in shaking palms and call it Viktor.

Downstairs, he addresses Mrs Samkova with a scholar’s composure. “I will send instructions the moment I have an answer.” The task ahead looms like storm clouds, yet his tone never quavers.

She inclines her head. “We shall be ready, Mr Velesny.”

He bows slightly—gratitude, obligation, and something like farewell flickering behind his eyes. “I will find the answer,” he says, soft yet iron-bound.

Farewells given, you climb into the carriage. Cobblestones drum beneath the wheels, the outside sliding past in grey ribbons. You face him from the opposite seat, gaze fixed on passing rooftops, but feel the burn of his attention. When you dare a glance, he is still watching—quiet, intent—as though, in the blur of streets and uncertainty, you are the only fixed point left on the map.

A slow, private dread unspools in Viktor’s chest, twined with a sweetness he can neither name nor refuse. He sits poised between feast and famine: close enough to taste something like love, close enough to watch it slip the blade beneath his ribs. Wanting is a madness, but he has carried worse afflictions.

He rises to join you just as the carriage lurches—a crooked jolt that yanks the breath from his lungs and folds him, less than graceful, onto the seat beside you. You lift an eyebrow. He answers with a rueful sound, half-laugh, half-curse, and slings his cane across the opposite cushion.

“Come here,” he murmurs, arms opened like a promise he cannot afford.

You fold into the hollow of his shoulder without thinking; the place seems built for your skull. He sets a careful kiss to your temple, a benediction almost shy. You answer beneath the shell of his ear; the pulse there stutters, and the world outside the carriage vanishes.

His fingers bracket the nape of your neck, tilting your face. The first brush of mouths is exploratory, a cartographer’s sketch. The second turns certain, tongues mapping the dark. Heat gathers, taut as wire between your sternums. Time is a borrowed coin—spent quickly, savoured later.

“I foresee difficulties in our professional arrangement,” he breathes, humour frayed at the edges. His palm slips to your waist; you slide yours under his coat, finding the warm architecture of his ribs.

“Complain elsewhere,” you whisper, smile grazing his mouth. “You started the fire.”

A hum—part amusement, part hunger—vibrates in his throat as his hand drifts lower, slipping beneath your skirts. “I might defend myself,” he says, voice dropping to gravel, “or”—his fingers ghost up the length of your thigh—“I might do this.” He pauses at the soft apex, pressure feather-light, asking a wordless question.

Your eyes meet his. You breathe, “Let’s not squander daylight.”

That is license enough. No teasing; only intention. His touch coaxes heat from you in slow increments, mapping edges, charting tenderness and flare alike. Every stroke feels designed, a craftsman testing grain. Your breath scatters; his remains measured, studying each tremor as though it files a necessary note in his ledger.

Delight builds—bright, static, impossible to hide. You hover on its brink, half-present, lips parted, gaze clouded. “Yes,” he whispers, as though the sensation were his own.

He watches every flicker beneath your skin, and you—God, you feel known. Indecent, perhaps, to be attended like this in a rattling coach, yet nothing about his touch is cheap. It pours through muscle and marrow like a dark sacrament, and you can only drown gratefully in the flood.

Your fists tighten in his collar—coarse wool rasping your knuckles—then slip beneath, seeking the pulse that hammers against the hollow of his throat. It drums quick under damp linen, salt and warmth rising off his skin. The carriage rocks again; leather straps groan above, window-glass rattles, but inside this small box you feel only the press of his chest and the tangle of your breath.

Your noses brush. It is a silent plea—more, break me open—and the ache spreads, low and bright. An emptiness yawns in you, begging to be filled; the only word you can form is his name, bare and fervent: Viktor. No one else has touched you without first judging the appetite they found. His touch is judgment-free, a benediction, certain as sunrise.

Forehead to forehead, thought blurs across shared air. He reads the tremor in your jaw, the flutter of your lashes, and answers before speech can spoil it. Fingers slide back into heat, slick already with you; a gasp tries to escape, but his palm covers your mouth—a gag of flesh, tender and absolute. “Shh, my heart,” he whispers, breath skimming the shell of your ear. “Take what I’m giving.”

The coach jolts over a rut once more. Springs creak; his hand never falters. Thumb traces slow spirals that burn nerve to nerve. Your hips lift, seeking relief, and the coarse weave of his trousers drags across your knee—each scratch a spark.

Release hovers just beyond reach, tethered to the measured slide of his fingers. You chase it, rolling against him, nails carving half-moons through the fine linen of his shirt until you hit skin. He hisses—a sound torn between reverence and need—and the smell of him, faint iron and pepper, fills your lungs.

“Beautiful creature,” he rasps. His lips find your jaw, then the slender path beneath your ear. Tongue draws a molten line down your neck; cool air follows, useless against the heat he leaves in his wake. His own breaths turn ragged, staccato, every exhale a confession.

“Break for me,” Viktor pleads, voice frayed like ribbon caught on briar. “Break, my darling. I need to see you fly apart.”

The words land like command. Tension knots spine, thighs, belly—then snaps. Hips jerk; your cry thuds against the soft barricade of his hand, a strangled hymn. Pleasure sears outward, rippling under skin, and you clamp hard around his fingers. He murmurs nothing now, only breathes with you, guiding each quake, steady as a metronome in a storm.

When the spasms ebb, he stays a moment—feeling every last flutter—before easing his hand free. Your lungs drag in air, sharp and bright, while he studies the sheen on his fingers: evidence, miracle. Light tilts with the carriage, throwing gold across the wet curve of his knuckles.

Slowly, almost devoutly, he lifts those fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, tasting proof. Your pulse kicks hard in your throat as his eyes close, savouring. Cloth rustles where his shoulders rise on a tremor of restraint.

He lowers his hand, meets your gaze—eyes wide, glassy, as though you have shown him an eclipse. In the hush between jolts of wheel on stone, he waits, uncertain and hopeful, braced for verdict or absolution while the world keeps rattling past, unnoticed.

“Profane,” you breathe, the word equal parts rebuke and worship. “I adore you.” Your mouth finds his, stealing your own taste from his lips.

A laugh breaks from Viktor—startled, half-wild, the sound of a man who cannot decide if he’s won a prize or stepped off a cliff. His palms cradle your face, thumbs stroking the heat at your cheekbones. In his gaze: a shocked tenderness, as though he can see the scaffolding of your bones and chooses them anyway. “Either the gods have mocked me,” he murmurs, breath unsteady, “or blessed me beyond all sense.”

“I belong to no god, Viktor,” you answer, pressing a hand to the frantic thrum beneath his ribs. “I’m flesh. Sinew. Bone. And you—of all people—should know how little power the heavens hold compared with your own.”

The words strike him like iron to anvil. You watch the impact ripple across his features: a brief recoil, then submission. The fight in him—the instinct to analyse, to argue—flickers, falters, ends. What remains is raw want and something larger, heavier. Love settles in his chest like a creature unfurling its wings, crowding out both reason and dread; he lets it.

“I love you,” he says, the confession cracking as it leaves him. “I adore you.” The honesty chokes, tears at the seams of his composure. He drags you close, cheek pressed to the warm curve of your neck. “And I am afraid.”

Disbelief sparks through you—sharp, bright. This brilliant, storm-tossed man is terrified of a thing as ordinary as love. “I know,” you whisper, combing fingers through the hair at his nape. “So am I. But I’m here. With you. You don’t have to outpace this alone.”

“I—” The protest crumbles before it forms. He bows his head, voice roughened to thread. “Thank you.”

Silence follows—not hollow but full, strung tight between two hearts beating hard enough to shake ribs. The remainder of the journey passes in that hush, every wheel-jolt a reminder of how fragile, how undeniable, this thing between you has become. When the carriage finally shutters to a halt before the manor gates, your arms remain twined, reluctant to loosen, as though letting go might scatter the hard-won truth still trembling in the air between your mouths.

Inside, Algernon greets you in the vestibule, polished as ever, yet his eyes flash a little too bright—as though the candlelight burns inside them, not around. “Welcome home, sir,” he intones. The formality feels brittle, ready to splinter. Neither of you slows; Viktor’s stride carries him straight to the study, and you follow. A moment later Algernon and two silent footmen deposit the journals on the great mahogany desk. Leather bindings sag; dust erupts, settling in soft grey skins across the lamp bases.

You and Viktor work. At first it is orderly: stacks divided by century, a ledger scratched out to keep place. But the hours stretch, and discipline unthreads. You crouch on the carpet leafing through quartos while Viktor paces, reading whole paragraphs aloud, then losing the thread midsentence to scribble in the margins. Candle after candle dies; breath plumes when the fire dips; fingers grow ink-shadowed, and your spines ache in synchrony. It is nearly midnight when the first weariness overtakes speech, and for a long span your only conversation is the rustle of pages turning.

At length you speak into the hush: “The families merge here—look at the titling.” Viktor comes to your side, shoulder brushing yours as he bends. You both examine the odd spurt of prosperity recorded in a cramped, elegant hand. Something in the sudden wealth feels impossible: as if a nameless benefactor poured gold onto barren fields overnight.

Time heaves forward again—another hour of blind skimming, dust collecting in your lungs—until the door clicks. Algernon materialises with a tray. The way he stands, half in shadow, tray balanced like an offertory plate, chills the sweat on your neck. “My lord,” he murmurs, “the hour is advanced.” His gaze cuts to you—steady, assessing—then slips back to Viktor, but tension lingers like a draught.

“We will eat later, Algernon,” Viktor answers without looking up.

“As you wish.” Yet Algernon does not move. Something needy gnaws the corners of his frame. At last he sets the tray down—clink of porcelain muffled by thick carpet—and withdraws. His shoes make no sound on the boards; still, silence feels heavier after he’s gone, as though he has left a piece of himself hovering in the doorway.

You resume, pushing aside the untouched supper. Lamplight pools amber over the ledger lines; the house beyond seems to contract around the study, funnelling the two of you deeper into its throat.

Then your fingertip pauses on a page where iron-gall ink has rusted to brown. “Viktor.” Your whisper snaps the stillness. He rounds the desk; you read together, the words brittle but legible.

They call me mad—and perhaps I am. But now my voice is lost; they refuse to listen. A fool, I was, blinded by the lure of ease, a path too quickly chosen. We shall all be consumed—breathless, our line doomed to perish. I swear this upon my deathbed, fearing the debt I owe to Him who has scorched my name from the ledger of Heaven. The blasphemy I scratched in stone—may some soul find it. I die as I was born: nothing.

A shiver courses through you; Viktor’s breath hitches audibly. His hair sticks up in wild ropes from constant dragging fingers. “Earlier,” he rasps, and you both dive backward through time, parchment sighing like leaves in a gale. Minutes later another entry surfaces—ink darker, urgency fierce:

Salvation sits within reach. The choice is peril or oblivion. I have sought the black god, the dark one who balances eternity and erasure on twin scales. On Kupala Night I will kneel at the fern-flower altar. Blood shall be my signature, flesh my offering, soul my recompense. For my house, for those yet unborn, I pledge myself into the dark. May the daylight gods have mercy on what remains.

Your voice falters on the last line. Viktor sinks onto the edge of the desk, pallor leaching the colour from his lips.

“Viktor?” You move to him, but his gaze is turned inward—past you, past the study—into a memory sluiced by time.

The cave unspools in his mind: limestone walls weeping, the air wet enough to drink. He is ten, stick-cane slipping on mossy rock. A sudden skid—stone flays his palm, blood beads bright. Panic propels him deeper, chasing the echo of water he cannot see. A salamander appears—yellow spots glowing like embers—leading him through a passage glimmering with mica. The creature vanishes, and he stands in a chamber punched through with moonlight: silver falls like holy water onto a single fern in full impossible bloom, petals pale as bone.

Blood still drips from his hand when he reaches out. Crimson stains the white—not defiling, but completing, as if colour was the final petition. In that heartbeat a wish claws up raw from loneliness: Let me matter. Let me be bright enough to outshine oblivion. The cave hushes, listening. Something old and endless exhales, and the air thickens—contract signed in silence.

Reality sways back into focus. You’ve rested your hand on his, grounding him. Viktor blinks; wet tracks mark his cheeks, but his eyes burn now with comprehension—and dread. You recognise the battle newly ablaze behind them: logic straining against revelation, terror welded to purpose. The study feels smaller, air thin and tin-tasting. Somewhere down the hall a board creaks—perhaps Algernon, perhaps the house breathing.

Tears slip quietly down Viktor’s cheeks, darkening the wool of his trousers in small starbursts. He sits motionless, as though pinned between grief just confessed and revelation too large to house. The journal abandoned—a hollow thud, the sound of a door shutting on certainty—yet you barely register it as you slide into the space between his knees.

“My beloved,” you breathe, palms lifting to cup his face. His skin is fever-warm, slack with shock. “Viktor.”

He catches your wrists, knuckles whitening, desperate as a man gripping the gunwale of a sinking skiff. A tremor rolls through his shoulders; the first words spill out halting, each one forced past tightening cords in his throat.

“My parents loved me,” he mutters, eyes fixed on some point inside himself. “But they had so little time—always summoned elsewhere. And I—” He draws a jagged breath. “I was born crooked, limping. Companionship was charity at best, mockery at worst. I wandered, hoping something would keep me.” His gaze drifts, remembering damp stone and echo. “I wasn’t even ten when I found the cave. It caught me like a snare, and now—now all of it returns. Before that night, I was...” The word fails. His voice fissures. “Nameless. Nothing.”

A chill seeps through the study, candleflames burning low as though the name he never had devours oxygen. You feel the truth click into place, gears locking: your dreams of clashing gods, the whispered chorus haunting this manor—all pointing here.

“Černobog,” you exhale, frost forming on the syllables. A god of abyssal hunger, lord of places where light cannot dwell. A great black hide that shifts shape, talons made of night, eyes glowing ember-red beneath a starless cowl. “The Černoglavs borrowed more than fortune,” you murmur, pulse hammering. “They borrowed their very name.”

“But that is not my name,” Viktor protests, voice sharpening with fear. Panic dilates his pupils; for a moment you see the boy in the cave, blood on his palm; then the scholar returns, brittle with reason. “He may own theirs, but not mine.”

“He wears many masks,” you counter, low but steady. “Volos, Vlas. Faces differ, dominion remains. Veles is his name too, Viktor.”

Horror etches trenches across his features. He staggers back, hands flattening against the desk’s edge as if wood might spare him drowning. Every muscle locks. “No,” he rasps—too fast, too thin.

You start to speak, but he pivots away, clenching his cane so hard the knuckles bleach. He limps a short circuit between bookshelves, breath like tearing fabric. “There are other readings,” he mutters to the shadows. “Ancestral shades, rural myths, dialect corruptions. A single chipped rune, a blurred case ending—everything collapses into metaphor.”

“It names him, Viktor,” you insist, stepping into his orbit. “Twice over. The journals call him by two of his guises.”

“Then the journals err,” he snaps, jaw bunching. “Their grammar is archaic. Do you know how many alphabets lived and died in these valleys? One scribe sneezes ink and centuries later we mistake a blot for damnation.”

“But what if it isn’t metaphor?” You reach out—catch his sleeve, feel the heat of panic under the wool. “What if this is literal? What if the same name that bound him is the knife that can sever that tether?”

His head jerks up; eyes flare, startled, almost wounded, as though you’ve uttered both prayer and blasphemy in one breath. For a heartbeat the fight drops from him, and you glimpse raw terror: not of gods, but of losing the fragile architecture he has built around himself.

“A name—my name—means something,” he murmurs, voice shaking. “It’s the only inheritance I forged myself. It is ledger, compass, shield. You ask me to lay it down?”

“I ask you nothing yet—”

“But that’s where it leads!” He gestures wildly at the stacked volumes, his frustration escaping as heat. “In thy name, rid the name. It demands erasure, not salvation. That is void, not freedom.”

“You fear oblivion more than death?” The tremor in your tone betrays a deeper dread: losing him to self-sabotage.

“You don’t understand.” The words lash out, brittle. “I must think.”

“Do not step away from me,” you plead, catching his wrist again—anchor and challenge. “I am here. We face this together.”

“But I—” He breaks off, throat working. The anger folds inward, leaving only exhaustion, eyes rimmed red. Fury cannot outrun dread forever; both must rest in the same cage.

“No,” you say, voice ironed flat. “Leave the debate for dawn. Stay—just stay tonight.”

He stands in the paper-littered glow of the study lamp, lungs straining as though he has sprinted miles yet not moved an inch. The journals, the blood-inked confessions, your steadying touch—each has peeled away a layer until the bare iron of want glints through. The terror—the cost of the name, the echo of the cave—still roars in his ribs, but something new has lodged there too, bright and stubborn. He cannot bear to let the night close without holding it. If dawn demands a reckoning, then let dawn wait at the threshold while he steals one more hour from fate.

A long breath shudders out of him. Every muscle that has braced for flight loosens, not in defeat but in choice. He lifts your joined hands, brushing your knuckles with his mouth—an apology and a pact in one hushed gesture.

“I will always. My heart, I—” The vow fractures on his tongue; words fracture where feeling floods. “Come. Come with me.”

Something folds inside him—a fault line easing, armour unlatched yet not discarded. You glimpse the war still waged in his gaze: legacy snarling on one leash, love tugging on another. For this night, he lets the quieter animal lead.

No more words; they would only bruise the hush. Fingers entwined, you cross the corridor where dust hangs like sleeping moths. Past your guest room, door shut on cooling sheets; past the locked study that tastes of ink and secrets. Higher. Each stair protests, old wood keening, but the house feels smaller now, narrowed to the space between your palms.

The upper passage is plain—bare doors, low rafters, the lingering scent of cedar against stale night air. You remember pausing here with him once, lantern guttering, stars pressed to the round attic window like coins against glass. He had shown you those constellations as if offering proof the sky would not collapse. Now he reaches a door you have never crossed.

His hand trembles around a small brass key. It misses the lock, scrapes the plate—“Damn”—then finds purchase. The mechanism yields with a hollow click, and the door sighs inward.

“You stay with me,” he whispers, voice frayed, the sentence torn at its seam. “Hardships tomorrow.” Borrowed time, one more pocket-sized eternity. He turns, meets your eyes, fear and desire braided together, and in the hush that follows, every breath feels loud enough to summon dawn yet tender enough to keep it waiting just a little longer.

—

Okay. Cat's out of the bag! It was Veles all this time :v He is a patron of cattle, wealth, poetry, and sorcery, he is both guardian of earthly bounty and lord of the restless dead. In myth he is a shapeshifter (often serpent, bear, or great black bull - here he was a salamander) and perpetual rival of the thunder-god Perun. So, what we saw in Reader's dreams at the beginning of this was the story of how Veles became the god of the underdark. According to Slavic mythology, Perun was at the beginning of all time and he is the god of creation. From his reflection, he made Veles - his opposite. When Veles tried to trick Perun, the god struck him and banished him to the underground.

Kupala Night - In Slavic folklore Kupala Night (also called Kupalnocka or Sobótka) is our celebration of Summer Solstice. All over Poland there is a lot of celebrations still alive connected with this day. A legend says that on Kupala Night a fern flower blooms, granting whoever finds it wealth and power, but can also bring ruin :')

[itsnotsunnyy]

the hallway between us

pairing: jacob black x female!reader

word count: 4,3k

summary: she walks away, leaving silence and regret in her wake. he searches for a way back, but with every step, the distance grows. the weight of unspoken words and broken promises lingers, an ache that never fades.

content: longing, heartache, desperation, regret, angst, unspoken words, emotional distance…

a/n: i’m thinking about turning this into a series based on all the songs from HS1. this one’s inspired by “meet me in the hallway”. hope you guys enjoy <3

the rain never really stopped in forks.

it whispered down rooftops, hissed through cedar needles, and clung to windows the way his name clung to her ribs, unshakable, damp, uninvited. she kept the porch light off tonight. it felt dishonest to look welcoming when every part of her ached to stay closed.

jacob hadn’t come in weeks.

not since that afternoon in the woods, when she’d finally refused to be the echo of his choices—bella’s shadow, the almost, the maybe. she’d felt something snap that day. not the imprint, that silent, unrelenting tug beneath the skin, but whatever fragile thread had convinced her self-respect to wait. and then, on a wednesday that smelled of moss and thunder, a knock.

gentle. hesitant. like regret tapping knuckles against her sternum.

“please,” jacob’s voice cracked through the door. “please open the door.”

her palm met cool brass; her pulse met the memory of his. she counted five breaths, time enough to remember every apology he never gave, and opened the door.

jacob black looked like the storm had tried to wash him away. rain slicked his hair to his forehead, dark lashes dripping, t-shirt plastered to a chest that rose too fast. yet the first thing she noticed were his eyes: desperate, yes, but softer than she’d ever seen, like he’d been living on the edge of a confession.

“i didn’t know where else to go,” he said.

she didn’t step aside. “forks has plenty of porches.”

“none that feel like home.”

the words lodged in the quiet between them. somewhere in the trees, a lone wolf howled, a distant warning that even the wild recognized unfinished business. finally, she moved, and jacob crossed the threshold as though afraid the house might vanish if he blinked.

they sat at opposite ends of the couch, the space between them crowded with unsaid summers.

“i thought time would fix me,” he began, staring at raindrops racing down the window. “time, or duty, or the pack, or…bella.”

her name twisted something inside her. she folded her hands to keep from folding herself. jacob kept talking, voice rough.

“but every patrol, every shift, i heard your heartbeat in my head. i swear, it’s louder than the rain.” he let out a humorless laugh. “that day i chose her, i thought i was doing the noble thing. protecting the girl who needed saving.” he swallowed. “but you needed saving from me, and i didn’t even see it.”

her eyes burned. “i didn’t want a savior, jake. i wanted you.”

silence, heavy as the clouds above forks.

“you know,” she added, forcing steadiness, “the imprint doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with a choice. you chose her. i just finally chose myself.”

the admission tasted like iron, but it felt clean.

jacob’s shoulders sagged. “i deserve that.”

“no,” she corrected gently, surprising them both, “you deserve peace. but you can’t find it in my hallway if your heart’s still outside my door.”

he looked at her then, and in his eyes she saw a boy who’d carried too much war for someone his age. she’d loved that boy. she still did. but love, she was learning, is sometimes the corridor you must walk alone.

after he left that night, forks returned to its muffled hush, yet the imprint pulsed, thin, vein-tight, whenever jacob prowled the forest. she felt him in dreams: damp fur brushing heather, paws pounding grief into the earth. in the pack mind, jacob’s thoughts spilled to the others like red dye in water; leah told her, quietly, that he hardly slept, that he tore through patrols as if outrunning guilt.

“he’s breaking, girl,” leah murmured over coffee at emily’s. “but a man has to choose to heal. we can’t stitch him up for you.”

she nodded. healing, she realized, was neither revenge nor reward, it was reclamation.

so she reclaimed mornings: jogging the beach, letting salt air tangle her hair instead of old phone calls. she reclaimed nights: reading by lantern light, writing half-poems she never finished. and still, without invitation, memories of jacob slipped under the door, how he smelled of cedar smoke and motor oil, how his laugh once cracked open whole summers.

healing, it seemed, was learning to breathe while ghosts sat beside you.

september brought clearer skies and an unease that clarity often unveils. word reached la push that bella swan was engaged. the news ricocheted through the reservation like distant thunder.

jacob disappeared for two days.

when he returned, hollow-eyed, shivering despite the perpetual heat inside him, he found her at the cliff overlook, staring at a horizon smeared violet by sunset.

he didn’t speak. just stood there, shifting weight, as gulls wheeled overhead.

finally she said, “it’s okay to grieve what might have been.”

“i’m not crying for her,” he replied, voice ragged. “i’m mourning the part of me that believed i couldn’t be whole without someone else deciding my worth.”

a brittle peace settled over them.

she nodded toward the descending sun. “then let’s bury that part together.”

they sat, shoulder to shoulder but not touching, while day lowered itself into the pacific like a tired animal. when darkness seeped across the water, jacob whispered, “i don’t know how to start over.”

“starting over isn’t erasing,” she answered. “it’s renovating. walls stay, ghosts too, but you choose which rooms get light.”

for the first time, jacob smiled, a small, exhausted curve that looked like dawn might find him yet.

october’s chill carried rumors of newborn covens to the north. the pack braced for war. jacob trained harder, howled louder, but inside he told her, “i feel empty, like i burned the house down and forgot to save the photographs.”

she pressed a hand to his chest. “ashes still tell stories.”

that night, he kissed her for the first time since everything shattered. it wasn’t the fevered crash she’d imagined, but a gentle, grief-soft collision. his lips tasted of salt and apology; hers tasted of lavender tea and late-hour resolve. they parted with foreheads touching, breaths uneven.

“i’m still broken,” he said.

she traced the scar on his shoulder. “broken things cast interesting shadows.”

“is that enough?”

“it has to be,” she whispered, though part of her feared it might never.

then winter crawled in under the door, and with it, decisions.

she received an acceptance letter from a journalism program in seattle, deferred since senior year. the envelope felt heavy with tomorrow. she carried it to jacob’s garage, where he lay beneath a half-rebuilt volkswagen, grease streaking his arms like war paint.

he read the letter twice, jaw tight.

“when do you go?” he asked.

“january.”

“that soon.”

she nodded, throat thick. “i need—”

“room to breathe,” he finished quietly. “to see if the world is bigger than all this.”

“yes.”

he sat up, wiping hands on a rag. “i could come with you.”

she shook her head, tears shining. “you have a pack that needs you, a family, a treaty to guard. and you have healing left to do here.”

his voice cracked. “you’re my imprint.”

“you’re my home,” she replied, “but sometimes home is the place that teaches you to leave.”

silence gathered like snow.

at last he exhaled. “will you meet me in the hallway?”

she frowned. “what hallway?”

“any hallway,” he said, eyes earnest. “a corridor in some future city. when you’re ready, when I’m steady, meet me there. no promises, just… possibility.”

a sad, hopeful laugh escaped her. “you and your metaphors.”

“i stole it from a song you like,” he admitted.

she cupped his face, thumbs brushing cheekbones. “then i’ll leave the door slightly ajar.”

and she kissed him, soft, sure, sealing a letter they’d write in miles and months.

january dawned pale and brittle. she packed her life into two suitcases and a cracked leather journal. jacob stood by the bus that would take her to port angeles, hands buried in pockets, wind tossing unruly hair into his eyes.

“no dramatic goodbyes,” she warned, smiling through tears.

he managed a grin. “i’ll save the howling for patrol.”

she pressed a folded note into his palm. “open it after i’m gone.”

the bus engine growled. she stepped aboard, heart thrumming a song of grief and dawn. through the window, she watched jacob unfold the paper:

you were the storm and the shelter.

thank you for the rain that taught me to dance.

meet me in the hallway, someday.

— Y/N

he looked up, tears catching the morning light, and she mouthed, “heal.”

the bus pulled away. jacob black stood in the rain-washed station, clutching the note like a compass pointing nowhere and everywhere.

behind him, forks whispered with cedar secrets. ahead, highways bent toward horizons neither of them had mapped.

and somewhere, months or years from now, a hallway waited, door ajar, light spilling across the floor like promise.

[icu-fetish]

Even if just for a moment…

I still can’t open my eyes, but I listen to the sounds, feel the smells. I feel everything: the soft gown wrapping around my body, the medical cap, convenient for the nurses so my hair doesn’t get in the way. The cervical collar is rigid but comfortable, though it reeks of sharp antiseptic. My neck is still injured, the pain dulled but throbbing whenever my muscles tense with the slightest spasm.

The tubes, needles, catheters scare me… The urinary catheter has become a part of me – I’ve gotten used to it, to this strange sensation of its presence. Other catheters deliver fluid, sending a faint chill through me, as if cold seeps into my veins. It’s unpleasant. And, I admit, a little frightening.

The oxygen mask presses tightly against my face, its plastic edges digging into my cheeks, leaving a noticeable pressure. The air is cold and dry, my throat parched, each breath a forced effort beyond my control. The rhythmic hissing of the oxygen irritates me, blending with the sharp beeping of the cardiac monitor tracking my weak heartbeats. Sometimes the monitor emits a double beep – a warning of low oxygen levels in my blood. It doesn’t reassure me; it only reminds me that I’ve become a plant, dependent on this hissing that forces my body to breathe. And that scares me more than the catheters. But I’m still alive. And that’s the only thing that matters.

The nurses speak in hushed voices, but the noise of the machines drowns out their words. The cardiac monitor beeps, the oxygen hisses, and I barely catch a fragment: “She needs to be intubated.” The voice is calm, but the words hit like a blow. Is it really that bad? I want to move, to scream, to ask what’s happening, but my body is just a shell that won’t obey. Paralyzed, I hear gloved fingers touch my arm, checking the catheter. A cold, almost mechanical touch. The word “intubation” spins in my head. I know what it means – a tube in my throat, a machine that will take away the last shred of my control. Fear grips my chest, but I can’t even flinch. I can only listen. Only feel. And that’s all I have left.

A light prick in my vein. A cold wave of medication spreads through my arm, and my consciousness drifts, as if in a fog. I slip away. Then – awakening.

Something has changed. There’s a foreign pressure in my throat – a plastic tube, as if it’s grown into me. An endotracheal tube. I can’t feel my lungs, only the mechanical rhythm – inhale, exhale, the click of the machine. The sound has changed: instead of the oxygen mask’s hissing, there’s a dull, rhythmic hum of mechanical breathing. The machine breathes for me. Is this the end? Someone touches my neck – cold, gloved fingers remove the old collar. The new one is heavier, pressing tighter against my skin, smelling of fresh plastic and antiseptic. Why did they change it? A worsening condition? Surgery? An MRI? My thoughts tangle, like frayed threads. I want to cough, to push out this tube, but my body is just a cage holding my consciousness. I hear a whisper: “Stable, but her pressure’s dropping.” What else will they do to me? Something clicks near my shoulder – another catheter? Cold liquid flows through my veins again, sending a shiver through me. Fear pulses in my head, but I can’t even clench a fist. I can only listen. Only feel. And it’s so little…

I’m getting used to it. There are no other options. My consciousness is the only thing that still belongs to me, but even it dissolves in the rhythm of the machines. Cold fluids pour into my veins, one after another. Medication? Saline? I don’t know. They’re always cold, like an icy river flowing through me, reminding me that I’m still alive. But am I alive?

The nurses clean my breathing tube. I feel them carefully suctioning the mucus that builds up in my throat. It’s disgusting, but I no longer recoil in my mind. It’s terrifying when they turn off the machine. The air stops. My lungs are an empty shell, unable to breathe on their own. The seconds stretch into eternity, and I scream in my head: “Turn it on! Turn it on!” But they always manage to. So far, they manage to. Maybe I’ll get used to this too.

They change the catheters constantly. I feel every movement – the slight pain as the old one is removed, the cold touch of the new one. Time has lost meaning. The clock in my head has stopped, and I don’t know if hours, days, or maybe weeks have passed.

But today, something changed. They removed the cervical collar. I felt that lightness. My skin breathes, though the antiseptic smell still clings to it. The important thing is that I understand this. I feel it. Maybe I can wake up?

But what if it’s just an illusion? What if I’m forever trapped here – a mechanical doll, connected to tubes and wires that mimic life? The hissing of the machine, the rhythm of the cardiac monitor, the cold of the medication – this is my world now. But somewhere deep inside, where I still exist, there’s a spark. It trembles, faint, but it doesn’t fade.

I don’t know if I’ll wake up. I don’t know if I’ll ever breathe on my own again. But I listen. I feel. And maybe that’s enough to hold on a little longer. To keep that spark from fading. To remain myself – not a doll, but me. Even if just for a moment…

Zalim İstanbul (E34)

Dila Hanım (E56)

[verbenaa]

air so deep and sweet

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: “You’re just utterly shameless, aren’t you?’ He tsks, “Seducing me away from my work like this.”

Astarion’s eyes rove your form laying beneath him in reverence, the silken strands of your hair spread like a halo around your face and your dress a mess around your waist.

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𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Astarion/Reader 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: smut, fluff, slice of life! 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 7.1k 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: body worship, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, hand jobs, vampire bites, mentions/discussions of anal, vaginal sex, vampire sex, soft dom astarion

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

𝑎/𝑛: This is my first ever fanfiction despite a literal 20 years of reading them LOL i truly have lost the plot. Find me on ao3 too, my username is leadii 💕

ao3 here

masterlist

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Dim candlelight plays along the walls of Astarion’s studio, illuminating the discarded bolts of fabric leaning against the wall with haphazard grace, the threads of linens, silks, and cottons a riot of color against the muted walls. Spools of silken thread and tangles of ribbon lay sprawling across the work table, interspersed with pincushions and stray needles waiting to be threaded.

The studio itself is small, humble in its nature. Set aside on a small street within the city walls it wasn’t a far walk from your shared home, making it an easy decision to join him on the nights he decided to work.

Lush velvet draperies hang heavily across several leaded windows, while multicolored rugs layered themselves over the floor. Fat pillars of candle wax sit haphazardly upon several surfaces, filling the room with moving pockets of light, their dance helped along by the light summer breeze blowing through the open windows. It was undeniably one of your favorite places to be.

Despite Astarion’s initial claims to the contrary (if you could even call his half-hearted condescension to the concept such a thing), he was decidedly well suited for a life of domesticity. Much like a spoiled cat, he very much enjoyed his luxuries. Vials of scented oils, a soft bed covered with blankets and quilts, piles of books in the corners of rooms waiting to be read at his decision. You were very quick to learn that Astarion was nothing if not a creature of comfort. And he made it so very easy to spoil him, accepting your love and affection with open arms.

You nestle deeper into the nest of pillows that made up the corner you had decided to call your own, novel discarded beside you and your goblet of wine long emptied of its contents resting against the floorboards. With a small huff your attention turns from your surroundings to said owner of the studio, watching him weave the needle in and out of the fabric in his hands, focus intent on his art.

He had such beautiful hands, you couldn’t help but think. Hands as well-versed in sowing chaos as easily as they could thread a needle to create the tiniest of embellishments upon a single piece of silk. Hands as intimately versed in the art of death as they were in the art of drawing pleasure. Sometimes, you think, he is secretly desperate to prove that his hands no longer have to steal, cheat, or seduce for others and instead were capable to creating something soft and vulnerable for himself instead.

With a small stretch you sit yourself upright, adjusting the lovingly embroidered straps of the light linen dress you wore to compensate for the overbearing warmth of summer. You were always content to accept any creation Astarion made for you and your dress was no exception, tailored to perfection to sit on your curves perfectly with small decorations of lace and embroidery as he saw fit.

As though drawn by your thoughts, his carmine gaze glances up to meet your own. Astarion’s eyes linger upon your form as you slowly stand and stretch your arms high above your head, back arching slightly with the motion before you step to the nearest open window. A light breeze ruffles your hair as you rest your elbows on the sill, careful of the several plants currently residing there as your eyes move to watch the people below weave through the streets in the darkness.

“Dearest, do you mind lending me those ever-so-lovely eyes of yours for a moment?” His voice is a casual drawl. “I wish to seek your opinion on this particular color scheme.” 

You turn to face him from your spot at the window as he gestures to the work in his hand with a small movement of his wrist, and quickly step across the floor to stop at his side. You glance down to see the wooden embroidery hoop he holds with measured regard in one hand, the other carefully grasping a small, sharp needle. You lean in slightly to see better, your breasts adding the barest of pressure against his arm.

You focus your vision upon the delicate pattern of his needlework, the threads weaving together to create an intricate pattern of scrolling vines and abundant spring blossoms in a warm milky white adorning the collar of a cream colored linen shirt, the colors almost ethereal together in their similarity. 

“I hate to break this to you, but…I do believe it is simply cream upon cream,” you say with a small smile gracing your lips. “What ever is there for me to even give my opinion on?” 

“It’s called monochrome, my dear.” Astarion gives you a look of affectionate exasperation before continuing, “Despite what everyone seems to think, I am capable of subtlety when the occasion permits.” You briefly turn to look at him, an elegant eyebrow arching in amusement. 

He rolls his eyes and scoffs slightly before murmuring, “Certainly those pretty eyes of yours can see the differences despite the similarity of color?”

Sure enough, upon further inspection you could pick out the slightest hint of metallic gold threaded throughout the creamy colored delicate flowers and surrounding vines, the only detail differentiating the colors from one another. The subtle shine of the golden threads were mesmerizing to follow with your eyes, the candlelight bouncing off of them creating fiery highlights on the raised embroidery. Like everything Astarion touched, it was undeniably beautiful.

“I suppose it looks decent.” You tease, pressing your chest further into his arm while your attention shifts to the elegant planes of his face. He was simply so easy to admire, the way his hair always seemed to fall so perfectly into place, his mouth held soft in concentration looked so inviting.

A noise of protest leaves his lips at the mere thought his creation was only ‘decent’, and you can’t help but laugh at the reaction while leaning in to press a soft kiss to his pale cheek.

“It must be so hard to have such artistic merit, Astarion. I’m afraid such a talentless individual as myself can’t fully appreciate such craft and workmanship.” You playfully lean your body back and throw a hand up your forehead in mock distress, earning a short laugh from him. 

“Despite such questionable opinions, you are far my talentless, my dear.” Astarion sets aside the hoop and needle to the far edge of the worktable and turns in his chair, settling his full attention on you.

“In fact, I would be more than willing to remind you of the several of the talents you possess.”

Slowly, he draws his eyes from your features to glance down at the twin pinprick scars decorating your neck before slowly continuing lower to finally rest on a spot above your breasts. He brings his fingertips to brush lightly against the skin, pressing against the delicate lace trim of the neckline, sweeping slowly and softly back and forth against the swells. He watches the sudden intake of your breath with interest before his eyes glide up to meet your own again. 

A slow, feline smile graces his lips. “Such a distraction, dearest. Especially when you press these lovely breasts of yours into me.” 

You match his smile with a sly one of your own.

“Can you blame me?” You give a half-hearted shrug, hardly caring that you had been caught in your so-called crime. “It’s quite hard to not want to be close to such a beautiful individual like yourself.”

“Ah yes, there it is. Talent number one: flattery.” 

He moves the hand tracing patterns against your skin upward, glancing touches against your neck, before curling his fingers underneath your chin to bring your face closer to his own. 

You knew he could easily see the effects of his relatively innocent ministrations, could view the inevitable pink beginning to decorate your cheeks. 

Could smell it in the blood beginning to race through your veins. 

Astarion had always known exactly what to say made you breathless and had never held back on using that knowledge to his advantage to make you weak to his whims. 

“Now be a good girl and take a seat.” His voice is low, hungry; he leans forward and both his hands find your waist and pull. 

You feel your body relax easily into his touch, letting him smooth your skirts out of the way as he brings you towards his waiting lap. Your hips instantly connect together, fabric the only barrier between you. You feel a telltale twitch beneath you, signaling his pleasure at the slight friction created by the connection and your hips grind against his own instinctually, the friction and pressure adding to the growing warmth deep in your belly. 

Astarion leans forward, connecting his mouth with your own in a scalding kiss, moaning into your mouth as his hips roll against your own, his growing erection pressing closer to your covered center. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull yourself even closer to him as your hands card through the silver curls sitting at the back of his neck. Opening your mouth, you lick against his lips hoping he will open them for you. Astarion obliges, meeting your tongue halfway. 

Your tongue brushes against a sensitive fang, drawing another moan out of him and he slowly pulls away from the kiss, lightly nipping at your bottom lip as he leaves before moving to press small, sweet kisses across your jaw. 

“Would you indulge me a snack, dearest?” He presses a quick kiss followed by a small lick to the skin behind your ear, sending a shiver of pleasure down your skin.

“I suppose I could be convinced…” Breathy sighs fall from your lips as he peppers kisses down the elegant column of your neck. “Quite easily perhaps, too.”

“Will you give me a small taste, my dear?” he mouths the words against your skin, lips hot.

Your eyes fall closed at his kisses. “You know you don’t even have to ask to have my blood. I give it to you, freely, and I always will.” With a tilt of your head you grant him more access to continue his search.

“I don’t deserve you.” “Absolutely false. You deserve everything.” The words roll off your tongue with quick ease, certain you’ve never spoken truer words.

As Astarion moves the straps of your dress aside to hang off your shoulders and free the expanse of your neck and collar he finds the spot he had been looking for, laving the area with his tongue briefly before he bites down.

A split second of burning heat as his fangs dig into the flesh of your neck with as much delicacy as he can manage before he finally begins to suck, the pull of the blood leaving your body as he drinks brings a decidedly indecent moan to your lips, the heat of your core growing wetter with every draw of his mouth.

As Astarion drinks in your lifeblood in slow gulps, you feel his hands moving to the neckline of your dress and he grabs at it, pulling the fabric down across your chest, exposing more and more of you with every pull of the fabric. You had forgone a corset today in an attempt at comfort in an unending battle against humidity, trusting the bodice of your dress to instead keep your (somewhat questionable) modesty in tact. 

The rush of cold air combined with the sudden brush of his chilled hands against your breasts as he lets the dress fall to hang freely around your waist draws a surprised gasp from your lips. You move your arms out of the straps before burying them again in his silver locks.

He quickly brings a free hand up to grasp a breast, brushing his thumb over a newly hardened nipple. Extricating his fangs from your neck, his tongue moves to lick up the blood tracing down from the wound, not letting a single drop go to waste.  

“Such a delightful little treat,” he murmurs against your skin, lips brushing with every movement as your hips grind downward against his growing erection in slow rolls. 

His lips move further down your chest, no longer following the trail of fresh blood but that of the blood in your veins leading to your heart. 

Astarion presses a chaste kiss over the place where your heart beats, your back arching with the movement of his lips as he moves lower to capture a hardened peak. A soft cry at the touch of his mouth falls from your lips, the motion of his tongue drawing circles around the bud sending a flash of heat straight to your core. 

He laves at the bud, alternating licks and soft bites in a bid to stoke the fire inside you even higher, his free hand coming up to massage its twin with delicate motions.

Astarion cants his hips up into yours as he sucks hard at your breast, his prominent erection pressing into your growing wetness before his mouth moves to your other breast, continuing his ministrations.

“Astarion, please, I need more.” You whine, attempting to press harder against his erection in hopes the touch will grant a reprieve from the building heat between your thighs.

“As you wish, my love.” He grants your request with a whisper, his hands falling on your thighs to support you as he moves to stand, bringing you with him. Chair pushing back with the movement, he places you on the desk in front of him as his hips spread your thighs. 

Desperate to keep the connection between the two of your bodies, Astarion stands between your legs, pressing close. His hands skate up your body to land on your cheeks, tilting your face to look up at his own as a thumb brushes absentmindedly against your bottom lip. He leans down to press his lips to your forehead, your eyes, cheeks, nose, and finally your lips. 

“Lay back, love,” His words are a whisper as one hand makes it way from your cheek to rest on the back of your head. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

His eyes never leave your own as your body relaxes, trusting him, and he leans you back onto the tabletop with care until your body meets the wood. 

Barely breathing, you watch as his hands made their way teasingly downwards, skating over your bared breasts to find the skirt of your dress, moving to push the thin fabric tantalizingly up your thighs to settle around your waist and out of the way. Astarion’s eyes settle upon a tiny, lacy pair of panties, the fabric the only thing keeping you from being completely bared to him. 

“You’re just utterly shameless, aren’t you?’ He tsks, “Seducing me away from my work like this.” Astarion’s eyes rove your form laying beneath him in reverence, the silken strands of your hair spread like a halo around your face and your dress a mess around your waist.

He was so beautiful it made your heart feel like it was going to beat out of your chest. 

With bated breath, you raise a hand to draw your fingers softly over his cheek, capturing his attention. 

“Promise me that you will tell me if this gets to be too much for you,” Your eyes meet his as you watch his expression fill with sudden affection at your request. 

“What a sweet thing you are,” Astarion brings a hand to cover the one you had placed over his cheek. “Thank you for always taking care of me so.” With a small movement, he turns his head to bring his lips to press against your palm. 

“I promise you that anything and everything I do with you is my choice.” Astarion moves the hand that covers yours to flit down your body, teasing touches over your peaked nipples, down your belly, before brushing against the line of your underwear. A sudden intake of breath escapes your lungs as he watches your stomach jump with the touch. 

A smirk graces his face as he moves those same fingers lower, brushing lightly against the gusset of your underwear before pressing harder against the growing damp of the lace. His touch creates a sweet friction, your wetness mixed with the texture of the lace and the pressure of his fingers drawing a soft moan from you.

You whine as his fingers pull your underwear to the side, Astarion moving to slide his fingertips up and down your exposed slit, spreading your wetness. He makes teasing passes around the small pearl that rests above; close but never quite touching where you need him, your arousal aiding the smooth glide of his motions.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already this wet for me, darling?”

“You know I always aim to please.”  The words are hard won but you manage to  give him a haughty smile nonetheless, trying to maintain the last shred of willpower you have left to pretend to be unaffected.

He moves to pump a finger shallowly inside you, not nearly deep enough to provide any relief. You gasp at feeling, attempting to roll your hips in hopes to bring his finger deeper. But just as quickly as he enters he leaves, eliciting a noise of frustration from you.

“Patience, patience.” He tuts, hands moving to your hips to tug at the lace resting over them. He yanks at the fabric, and you raise you bottom to aid him in finally removing them. Astarion pockets the pair with a smug look as his hands move to spread your thighs further apart.

With every push of your thighs Astarion bares you to him, your arousal glistening against your center in the low light.

“You know, dearest, I think I would maybe like to have a taste of something else as well.” You feel your cunt clench at the prospect, adding to the building heat deep inside you. 

“Consider me at your mercy, then.” A smirk from him at your blessing as he slowly lowers himself to his knees before your spread legs.

Astarion is supplicant before you as he rests his head on your upper thigh, unfairly close to where you want him most. Your hips jump in anticipation as he begins pressing tantalizingly soft kisses into the crease where your hip meets your thigh.

You feel his fingers touch you finally, delicately spreading your folds as he watches your most intimate place open for him. His thumb comes to rest against your clit, rubbing lightly at the small bud and you release a contented hum at the warmth of the pleasure inside your body growing with the movement of his fingers.

Your eyes fall shut at the sheer relief of his attention, his expertise in knowing exactly how and where to touch to drive you wild drawing a moan from you. Your hand falls from its place in his hair to land beside your head, jostling errant sewing supplies from their resting place next to you.

“Careful, darling. Watch those lovely hands of yours to not catch on a needle. I would so hate for you to bleed so needlessly.” A roguish smile alights his lips as he lowers his mouth to lick a slow stripe up your center, intent to collect as much of your wetness on his tongue as he can.

Your hand immediately finds its way back to his hair, gripping his silver curls mindlessly as he begins to work his tongue up and down your center, tracing patterns against your sex as he goes.

His tongue moves to finally circle your clit with small movements, intent to drive your pleasure higher and higher with every pass. His mouth moves lower, licking across your folds as he finds your entrance, tracing around it with agonizingly slow motions.

Astarion is quick to move a hand to rest over your belly as your hips jut up, applying soft pressure as he grows bold in his motions and his tongue moves to push inside of you. Your grip on his curls grows harder with every thrust of his tongue inside your body, head thrown back and moans growing louder as he brings you closer and closer to completion.

The hand resting on your stomach moves to press lightly at your clit, once again resuming the small circles round and around as his tongue continues its exploration deep in your core, eating you out with fervor. 

Astarion continues to lave inside you, his soft tongue whorling against your walls as his fingers expertly work your clit in tandem with your cries as your hips ride his face, thighs shaking as your orgasm barrels towards you. 

And it’s just like that when you cry out and finally come, his tongue moving deep inside as his finger strums your clit with practiced motions and the feeling is white-hot as you plunge into your ecstasy. He licks up your come greedily, tongue never stopping its endeavor as you ride the wave of your orgasm, breathy cries leaving your lips and hips rolling until your body finally relaxes. 

Shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm, your hand falls from Astarion’s hair to rest over your eyes as your breathing begins to even out and you finally come down from the high, Astarion cleaning up your cum until you can take it no longer, hips jerking in overstimulation away from his mouth.

Astarion places a light kiss over your clit before raising up from his knees back to his full height, your slick glistening on his chin and lips in the light of the candles as his still clothed cock brushes against your empty center.

Astarion leans forward, arms caging your head as he leans down to nuzzle your cheek whispering ardent words, “Out of all the beautiful things in this room, you are by far the most gorgeous.”

His admission momentarily stuns you. Astarion had never been shy in his admirations of your beauty and while you had grown more used to them during your time together he still managed to catch you off guard with such compliments from time to time.

“Can I please touch you? Taste you?” You pant, desperation coloring your words in the wake of his earlier admission as you begin to push yourself up onto your elbows. Astarion’s hand comes down and gently presses on your chest instead, and you lower yourself back down at the gentle command in the gleaming red of his eyes. 

“You can put that clever mouth of yours to use later, my dear. I have other plans for you, I think.” His eye rove your features before pressing his mouth upon yours in a fevered kiss, his tongue licking against your lips asking for entry. You can taste the essence of yourself on his lips and groan at the taste, opening yours to tangle his tongue with your own.

Astarion deepens the kiss as his hands find your own and grasping them gently, he brings them down his body to rest upon his still-clothed cock. 

“You said you wanted to touch. Indulge me, lover.” His lips never leave your own as he speaks the words, tongue sneaking out to lick at your bottom lip.

Your hands spring to action immediately to palm his cock through his leather pants before you find the laces holding him and undo them with deft fingers familiar with the task.

Astarion’s thick cock springs free of the confines of the pants and your fingers find the beads of precum decorating the tip and spread the wetness down his length. your fingers glide from top to bottom in smooth motions over the veined velvet of him, his essence aiding your ministrations as his mouth falls open from the sheer indulgence of your touch. His head falls heavily onto your shoulder and his lips move over the spot he fed from earlier, kissing and licking the area as your hands work him closer to closer to the edge. 

Lifting a hand from him you bring your fingers to your own wetness, drawing your fingertips through your slick before pumping two of them inside yourself in an imitation of his own motions earlier as you moan at the feeling.

Astarion glances down to see your fingers buried in your own cunt, the sight making him go impossibly harder as he watches you briefly pleasure the both of you. With a whine, your fingers leave your body to return to Astarion, a mixture of your arousal and come coating your fingers as your spread it onto his waiting cock, increasing your rhythm to rub him faster.

“Gods Above, you really are something else.” His pupils are blown out in lust as he groans at both the sight and feel of your hands working his shaft, one hand massaging the crown of his cock while the other works him closer to the base in quick motions.

A wicked thought strikes your mind, and you almost feel badly for even entertaining the idea. Almost.

You can feel his breath fanning your neck with every pass of your hands, his moans growing more unrestrained as your ministrations draw him to edge of completion. Without warning you withdraw your hands from his weeping cock, cruelly denying him the climax he was so close to.

Astarion’s head flies up from where it rests on your shoulder as a noise of disbelief leaves his lips and he shoots you a look of pure shock. The knowledge you caught him so unaware has you riding another kind of high, one you rarely had the privilege of reveling in.

“You little minx! Who knew you were capable of such cruelty. You’re going to pay for that, you know.”

Mischief settles on your features. “Maybe that was the goal.”

“Ask and you shall receive, little love. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” His lips curve with a devilish grin, eyes glinting in the candlelight as his hands move to grip your waist, fingertips pressing hard into the soft skin.

“How should I make you pay for it, then?” He muses. “Should I shove my cock into that tight, sweet cunt of yours and fuck you so hard you won’t be able to stand? Or maybe I should make good use of that wicked little mouth of yours and fill it instead?”

His darkening eyes bore into your own, your cheeks heating at his suggestions as you shift under his contemplation.

“You do look quite beautiful like that, you know. Mouth stretched around me as I fuck your throat. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You give an enthusiastic nod at the prospect, excited for whatever punishment he deems appropriate to hand out.

Without warning, you feel the hands upon your waist move to lift you up and flip you over, your stomach making contact with the table as your bare breasts press tight against the wood grain. His hand comes to rest in the center of your back, pushing you further into the surface. You move your head to rest your cheek upon the table, the coolness of the wood a welcome sensation to the quickly rebuilding heat inside you as your eyes glance up to meet his own in curiosity. 

“Too bad. I have another idea instead.” His voice is deep with promise.

Such trouble you had gotten yourself into, it seems. 

Cool hands move from your back to the forgotten skirt of your dress to flip it upward to rest around your waist once more, exposing your ass and glistening center to the warm air. 

Astarion brings his hand down hard against one of your cheeks, the sharpness of the spank making you cry out as surprise and pleasure mingle into one. He rubs the growing red mark left on your skin before bending down to press a his lips to it, soothing the area with barely-there kisses. 

He brings both hands to your ass now, rubbing soothing circles over the area before moving to pull your rear cheeks apart, allowing Astarion to see absolutely everything.

A wave of embarrassment hits you to be put on such display for his vision despite his knowledge of your body, and you fidget slightly under his intent gaze of your most intimate areas. 

“Astarion…” you let out a moan and he is quick to shush you as he moves a hand off your asscheek to brush his thumb in light circles over your asshole. 

“Maybe I should take you here instead, I know how much you love when I play with your pretty ass.” His voice is deep, eyes impossibly dark. 

“Oh fuck,” His words draw a ragged moan from your lips at the mere thought, setting your neglected pussy on fire with need.

“Prove to me you can be a good girl.” His thumb applies soft pressure before it leaves you to be replaced by his lips. He presses a soft kiss to the tight hole before kissing downwards and licking deep into your cunt without warning, lapping at your waiting wetness.

“Gods, Astarion…” your hips press backwards towards his waiting mouth. “Whatever you want, wherever you want, my love. I’ll do anything. I just want you inside of me.” Your voice is hoarse with need, no longer caring to win this little game you had started.

You feel Astarion’s mouth leave your pussy and whine at the loss, but he is quick replace your empty cunt with two of his elegant fingers instead, sliding them in and out at slow, measured pace. 

“Do you think I should let you come one more time before I fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk properly?” You are helpless to do anything other than nod your head in insistence, hoping he won’t rob you of your orgasm the way you had done to him. “I don’t know if you deserve it yet.”

Astarion slowly pulls his fingers out of your body only to add a third finger on the plunge back in, drawing a cry from your lips at the sudden fullness. 

His fingers push deep and curl inside of you pressing against that special spot over and over again, driving you to new heights as the lightest veil of tears begins to dust your lashes at the sheer bliss of the feeling.

Noticing the tears, you feel Astarion immediately stop his ministrations and lean over your back to look into your eyes with concern, a noise of protest at the lack of motion falls from your mouth as his fingers slowly leave your body to rest on your hip, brushing calming circles on your skin.

“Is this too much, love?” Any trace of his teasing dominance is gone from his voice as he speaks the words to you clearly, looking intently for any indication you needed him to step back from the scene the two of you had created. “We can stop, darling, if you need to. I don’t want you to push yourself too far to please me.”

You smile at genuine concern evident on his face, blinking away the sheen of tears. 

Pushing your hips back into him with as much motion as you can manage in your prone position against the table, you lean your body up in hopes to press a kiss to his lips. Astarion leans in, mouth quick to meet you halfway in a kiss as his spare hand moves to cup your cheek.

“The only thing you are pushing is my patience, love. Please don’t stop.” You beg, hoping he will acquiesce to your desire to continue as you lower your body back down onto the table. “The only thing I want in this moment is to come so hard I can’t think straight and then to have that beautiful cock of yours inside of me in whatever way you wish to give it to me.”

“Insatiable. Who taught you such language?” His body follows yours down, back pressing against your own as his lips brush against yours as he speaks the words, the concern leaving his eyes replaced with mounting desire.

“Believe me, there is nothing I want more than to be buried deep inside you,” The hand on your hip makes its way back towards your center. “Make me the same promise I made you earlier.”

The words come to your mouth effortlessly.

“I promise you that anything and everything I do with you is my choice.” You recite the words softly, with ease. 

Quieter now, you whisper. “I trust you, Astarion.”

You know how much your words and trust mean to him, can see it in his unguarded expression. Astarion didn’t put much trust in the Gods, but he would never stop thanking whichever one it was that brought your paths together. His fingers gently graze your pussy, ringing around your entrance with soft, teasing touches.

“I love you.” Astarion says before pressing his lips firmly to your own, those same three fingers finally slipping back inside.

Astarion renews the pace of his fingers right away, pressing and curling with precise motions meant to bring you to the brink.

You give into the sensation of every movement of his fingers, mouth open and eyes falling shut at the feeling and it’s not long before he has you once again close to your orgasm. 

“Please, don’t stop,” you whimper as your thighs begin to shake.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Astarion brings his other hand down your body to brush lightly against your clit. He sounds as lost in desire as you feel. “Want to feel you come on my hand. Can you do that for me, sweet thing?”

His words have you clenching hard on his fingers, the pressure of them against your insides combined with the fingers of his other hand brushing light, concentric circles over your clit have you coming within moments of his request.

“Such a good girl to give me what I want so easily.” You barely hear the words that fall from his lips through the haze of your ongoing orgasm, the feeling of his breath on the skin of your ear serving to only enhancing the moment.

Your body spasms around his fingers and cries of ecstasy fall from your lips as he continues, working you through your orgasm while his lips press soothing kisses anywhere his lips can reach—your face, your neck, the tip of your ear. 

“That’s it. You always look so beautiful when you come for me.”

Slowly, finally you feel your body begin to relax through the haze of your orgasm. Your mind comes back to you and you release a small laugh as your breath starts to even out, feeling him leave your body. Without breaking eye contact, he brings the fingers that had filled you so deeply to his mouth and licks them clean. The sight of it sends a wave of heat right back to your cunt, a shudder of anticipation running through you.

“I think you already succeeded in your wish to make me unable to stand.” You pant.

“And to think I haven’t even fucked you yet.” His cock is hard as his eyes scan your form from the flesh of your core to the flush of your cheeks, your eyes glassy with a haze of lust.

“I think I want to fuck you just like this.” He whispers into your ear as his hands run soothingly over your back. “I like you this, on display as you wait for me.” You desperately attempt to push your hips back to brush against his uncovered cock, looking for any bit of friction.

You watch him from your place on the table, the lithe way his body moves as he takes off his luxurious silk shirt to expose his chest.

His beauty was almost otherworldly as the dancing candlelight illuminates the carved marble of his skin, light and shadow creating a moving chiaroscuro upon the planes of his body.

He looked like a god.

“You are so beautiful.” Your words are a mere whisper as he moves his thick cock to finally brush against your center, slicking himself in your spend as the tip catches against your clit, drawing twin moans from you both.

Grabbing your hips, Astarion positions himself at your entrance and begins to slowly push inside, so familiar with your body he barely needs to guide his cock.

His head drops to press a kiss to your shoulder before righting himself again, hissing in pleasure at the feeling of your walls closing around him as he slides in, your wetness aiding him as he bottoms out and his hips press hard against your own. 

Low moans escape you at the sheer feeling of his cock stretching and sliding home and your hands move grasp for purchase on the desk as he slowly begins to rock back and forth. 

“If only you could see yourself now,” His voice is deep as he watches himself pull his cock out of your body almost completely, only the head left resting shallowly inside you before pushing forward with a hard thrust, hitting a place so deep you let out a ragged cry at the feeling.

“Gods, Astarion, just like that.” He fucks you hard, the force of his thrusts pushing you back and forth with small motions, breasts pressing hard against the wood of the table as one of your hands finds his own still holding your hips. You grab at his wrist in hopes he will take it, needing to touch more of him. Sensing your need Astarion takes your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a soft kiss on the back of it before resting your joined hands on your lower back. 

“No one takes my cock like you,” He pants through his thrusting. “You were made for me, weren’t you?” 

Supplications fall from his lips as he moves in and out of your body, showering you with worship as if you were his own private deity. His words further kindle the rising flame inside your belly, every touch of his cock against your walls serving to push you closer and closer to your third orgasm. 

“Only you,” you pant, hips canting back into his own to match the rhythm of his thrusts. “No one else.”

You feel so incredibly full with your body positioned like this, every movement of his cock has him pressing hard against your sweet spot, the feeling like heaven as cries fall from your lips.

“I love how wet you get for me, darling,” Astarion can feel you tighten around him as you grow nearer to your orgasm, your body trembling and cunt pulsing with pleasure as your hips drive back into his own. The feeling of you so close to your orgasm has hips losing their rhythm, his eagerness at the two of you reaching your end together driving him to move harder with every press inside you.

You love seeing him, feeling him like this. His hips finally moving with wild abandon, chasing pure instinct as he moves fast and deep inside your body. A hand comes up to settle in your unbound hair, softly gripping the silk-like strands in his fingers and in his passion he pulls softly, the motion lifting your head. His lips lower to your ear as his back presses fully against your own, the feeling of his cock moving even deeper inside you unmatched. Between his chest against your back and his cock moving so deep he was practically rutting inside, you were almost certain your cunt had never felt so full. Breathless whimpers escape your mouth at the feeling, eyes closing in complete ecstasy as the sound of his own moans against your ear leaves your cunt clenching hard as he hits your g-spot over and over again with each deep thrust.

“Beg for it. Beg for me to let you cum.”

And beg you do.

“Please, Astarion!” A chorus of pleas rise from your throat voicing your desperation as his tongue licks the shell of your ear, the hand in your hair tightening slightly with every word and moan that falls from your lips. 

You can barely think as you feel your orgasm careen towards you, unintelligible in your words as you lose yourself in the feeling of your bodies. Astarion’s cock hits that deep inside spot at your front wall once more, and you finally let go, orgasm taking over your body, stars behind your eyes in all-consuming pleasure. You recognize Astarion nearing his own end, his hips rutting into yours as you ride out your orgasm on his cock, cunt squeezing him in a vice. He comes with a drawn-out moan as he paints your insides with his cum, hips shuttering until his thrusts slow down.

Astarion stays inside you, cock softening as he rubs his hands up and down your sides as you both come down from your high, his cold cheek pressed against your shoulder. With deep breaths you take air so heavy and sweet with your shared lust into your lungs, the weight of Astarion on your back an anchor to the world.

With one final pump Astarion pulls himself from your body, watching as your empty cunt weeps with a mixture of his and your own cum. Before he can stop himself, he reaches two fingers up to catch the cum on his fingertips, gently pushing it back inside you before it can fall out onto the table resting below your hips. 

“Wouldn’t want you to waste a single drop, my love.”

You whine and buck your hips, overstimulated after coming so many times in a row. With one last press of his fingers, he leaves your cunt, leaning forward to place a kiss on the small of your back.

Astarion grabs a discarded piece of silk off the table beside your head and he gently wipes at the mess that threatens to leave your body before cleaning his own spent cock. As your breathing returns to its normal pace, you push yourself up slightly. 

“Silk. Really, Astarion?”

“Only the best for you, my love.” Astarion is quick to help you off the table, steadying you as you sway slightly after being in the same position for so long. He presses a kiss to your lips as he helps pull your dress back up over your breasts and into place. 

“I would ask if I was too rough, but I know you better than that.” His remark makes you laugh as you lean into him, throwing your arms around his neck with a wide smile.

“You know, I think I’m missing a tiny piece of my clothing,” Your eyebrows raise as you gesture to his pocket where a tiny piece of darkened lace sticks out from. "You wouldn’t happen to know where it is, would you?”

“Why bother?” Astarion gives a casual shrug as he waves off your query. “I’m just going to take them off of you again when we get home.” 

He stuffs the underwear in question deeper into his pocket, patting it securely before flashing you a crafty smile.

“After all, I haven’t even had my dinner yet.” He leans in, setting your heart aflame with a passionate kiss before grabbing your hand to lead you out the door and into the waiting night.

[tlouadditc]

take care of you.

warnings: smut [MEN AND MINORS DNI!], kinda gross desc of injury, ellies a pervert LMAOOO, small argument. ??, lowkey rushed but idc, slight choking mention, filthy mouth ellie ™️, scissoring, no official dynamic?? idk

its the last couple of hours in your small infirmary. its dark and muggy, but finally quiet. your shirt, slightly unbuttoned, and sleeves rolled to the top of your forearms as you work through the thick air. the patrols had been getting attacked all day, and god, you never thought the day would end.. but here you were, putting the last couple of boxes of gauze.

suddenly, you hear footsteps, and a faint male voice. "c'mon, we're almost there," the voice says. the voice is accompanied by a slight pained groan. the door busts open, a limping auburn woman gripping onto a tall, young man. you immediately recognize the two: jesse and ellie, your best friends.

"hey," jesses breathes, setting ellie onto the tile floor. there's scuffs all over him, a small cut sitting next to his eye. "ellie was- huff- she got stabbed in her calf," he explains. ellie wriggles in pain, face scrunched up as she sinks into the floor. "she'll fuckin' bleed out if she doesn't get something. i really have to go but please, please take care of her. i know you're supposed to be leaving right now but everyone else is gone."

you sigh heavily before reluctantly nodding. "thank you, y/n." he looks back at ellie, "hey, take care. i'll see you later."

jesse leaves, door frantically slamming behind him. you set the bed again, a protective sheet laying against the firm mattress. you walk over to where ellie resides, a sympathetic expression written on your face. "c'mon, tough girl," you say, kneeling down and throwing your arm across your shoulders. "let's get you onto the bed."

she hisses in pain as she rises and lays her weight onto you. it's only a few steps before she's plopped onto the bed, crawling to the top to lay her head on the pillow. as she lays back, you see the blood seeping through her jeans. theres a dark, soaked hole where the knife went through on her right calf. you speak as you don your gloves; "this is gonna hurt but i just need to see how bad it is, m'kay?"

she nods, breath getting jagged as you push her jeans up to her knee. the sight is horrendous; it's almost as if her calf got ripped open. the blood is still seeping out of the medium sized gash. if the knife would've went any deeper, she would've died of blood loss. "my god," you whisper, still assessing the damage.

"is it that bad?" she asks, arms above her head.

"i-" you sigh and gather your thoughts. "it's bad, yeah, but with a few stitches, you'll be back in no time."

she sighs with relief. you start gathering materials and your gear. "gonna need you to either pull your pants above your calf or take them off completely," you say, focusing on getting the materials. while getting the needle ready, you hear ellie's shirt hit the floor. when you turn around, she's left in her black sports bra. her chest moves up and down as she heavily breathes.

"hot as hell in here," she explains, a slight chuckle following the statement. she attempts to take her pants off, stopping right above the gash. you help her completely remove them and leave her in only her sports bra and boxers. the sight alone has a pool left in your bottoms.

you breathlessly giggle, "i agree. they need to get that AC running."

you lay all the materials next to her, "just a warning, this is gonna hurt, okay?" she nods, grabbing the pillow from behind her head and placing it between the grip of her two toned arms. she bites the pillow, in case she needs to muffle her sounds.

as you slowly thread the needle through her skin, a groan fills the room. "s-sorry," she apologizes. you go through the other side of the gash, running the thread through her skin. a string of curses leave her mouth as you continue, sometimes even a moan escaping her lips. you try to keep a composed demeanor as you finish off, attempting to ignore the second heartbeat in your pants.

as you wrap the protective layers of gauze around the stitched skin, she whispers, "sorry for all this," she chuckles, sitting up. "it's okay," you respond. you're starting to put your materials back in the low cabinets of your room, bending over as you push a box to the back. you look back to grab another box, but instead, you catch ellie eyeing your ass. she tries to look away, but you're too fast. confused, you act like you didn't see anything.

after you're done cleaning, you let her know she'll need to stay off her right leg until she's completely healed and use crutches. "i think they already packed them up, so you can get them tomorrow."

an annoyed groan leaves her throat, "seriously?"

"sorry! you came in when literally everyone but me left."

she turns over, grabbing her shirt off the floor. "are you sure i can't just go home right now?"

"ellie."

she huffs again, now staring up at the ceiling. "can you at least take me home with you? i cannot stay here."

her frustration is apparent, her face heating up with anger with every second passing. somehow, even in the worse circumstance, she looks so.. flawless. her heavy breathing from the thick air and the sweat slowly dripping down her freckled skin only draw you in more and more.

"uh.. y/n?"

you realize you've been checking her out. not only that, but you haven't listened to a THING she's said. you attempt to recall what she's said, or at least find an excuse to why you were checking her out.

you clear your throat, "sorry, i, uh.. yeah, you can stay with me tonight."

"we're not passing the fact you were just eyeing me."

your face heats up, a wave of sheer embarrassment washing over you. as you turn away from her, you mumble, "like you weren't doing the same," only loud enough for you to hear. or so you thought.

"i'm sorry, what was that? speak up."

you don't know if it's the longevity of the day or the heat, but you're fed up. you spit back, "i saw you staring at my ass, ellie. i'm not fuckin' stupid."

her confident demeanor fades. it's almost as if she's shrunken down, small below you. "not so tough now, hm?" you tease.

she attempts to get up, but before she can place another foot down, you slightly push her back onto the bed. "uh-uh," you warn, "you can't walk on that. and you're not leaving this conversation."

"what the fuck is your deal?" she hisses, moving your hand off her shoulder. "i can limp home at this point. you're pissing me the fuck off."

"oh, you were just asking to stay with me, though? and you have some goddamn nerve to be mad at me when i just took my time and care to help you!" you and ellie are barely inches apart now, her hot breath fanning across your heated face.

ellie's eyes soften, searching yours. you do the same, and before you know it, your lips are on hers. soft and supple, the kiss says everything you both want to. she whimpers, like she's been yearning for this since forever. both of you explore each others bodies with your hands, ellie's cold hands caressing your tits under your shirt. she breaks the kiss, panting, smiling at your breathlessness.

"so much for being mad at me," she taunts. you smile, "shut up." looking at her boxers, a slight glistening shines underneath the overhead light. she follows your gaze, slightly blushing at how turned on she is. you say nothing, only running your middle finger across her slit as she gasps. her legs spread a bit, the damp crotch now exposed. "fuck," she whispers, now slightly humping your palm. so desperate, you think.

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before you know it, both of you sit in your room, naked and sweating. you straddle between ellie's open legs, cunt to cunt. wet, squelches and moans fill the room, bouncing off the walls. ellie guides your hips as you hold onto the edge of the bed.

"fuuuck," she moans, fingernails digging into your hips. her eyes are locked in on the rocking of your hips against hers, your folds meeting with hers before moving forward again. her hips buck up, matching your rhythm. small whimpers and sobs leave your mouth. "keep goin', pretty girl, keep making those sounds for me," she coos, heavily breathing.

everything she's whispering to you is downright filthy; she knows how to push your buttons, getting you even wetter with every movement. "yea, grind that little pussy on me, c'mon," she's gripping your ass now, taking complete control over you. your legs shake, hips aching from the repetitive motion. "need you to cum, yes, please," she's begging now, huffing as she moves one hand from your hip to your neck, making your choke a little. "look at me while you bust on me, baby," she's so so so desperate, her eyebrows furrowing over her emerald eyes. your orgasm hits you like a bus, eyes tearing up, your choked moans getting louder and more drawn out. the wetness coats your inner thighs as well as ellie's crotch.

after a while of heavy panting filling the room, you attempt to get up, legs wobbly from your overbearing orgasm. she giggles, "now im not the only one not being able to walk."

"shut up," you laugh.

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an; heyhey sorry for my fatass hiatus yall i am back i think! anyway hope yall enjoy + sorry anon for no tag i keep forgetting to respond to the asks..