#no idea if anyones searching up that tag but whatever

[kaiju-pile]

RAGHHH BORROWERS!! Look at them

Info + extra thingies under cut

BORROWER INFO HAUAHEH

They average around 3 inches tall

Evolved from small shrew like mammals in the late Jurassic/early Cretaceous [meaning they’re much older than humans!!]

They’re not really nocturnal or diurnal, it kinda depends on where they live

Mostly omnivores in human houses, but the ones that live in the wild are mostly insectivores

They pack quite a punch despite being small, some are able to take down animals 3-4 times their size, particularly birds

They have a thin layer of fur covering their body, and hair on their heads and tails, and the thickness and texture is varied, similar to humans [straight to 4c hair, plus things like locs, cornrows and such]

Can squeeze into very tight and small spaces, like a cat

Live in colonies, and usually get together in polyamorous relationships

Also some extra colors of them [plus an albino borrower]

[foolinafable]

thanks to tuffnut

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Fem!Reader Synopsis: four of the many times hiccup was oblivious to the fact he was in love with you and the time he finally realised.  Word Count: 1.5K Tags: 4+1 fic, Fluff, Hiccups pov Note: started this ages ago and only just got inspired enough to finish it.

1. Searching for you in a crowd 

Hiccup would never admit it, even now that he is respected as the heir to the hairy hooligan tribe and his father is proud of him. That he still feels like an outsider. 

Maybe it’s because they see him as this dragon master and while he might be if he’s to listen to anything Fishlegs says- he feels like they don’t see anything else- he is still just the chief’s son, the future of the tribe or their saviour if any of his work on the edge was talked about. He was never just Hiccup to them, even to his friends they see him as this omnipotent being rather than just a teen like them- capable of making mistakes.

He suggests that this is why he prefers to have time alone- just him, toothless the ocean beneath them and the wind carrying them elsewhere, where he can be anything. 

Annoyingly, this is not something he can do now: walking into the great hall at dinner time. He can already feel the beginnings of a headache wracking his brain as he imagines the awkward conversations he is going to have with villagers about his work on the edge as of late or the nagging of his father and Gobber to come back to Berk so he can learn the ways of chiefdom- something he is unsure that he even wants.

Entering the great hall after a large exhale, Hiccup looks around, searching for something lips pursing when he can’t find it immediately. It is only when he walks closer to where his father is sat, calling out pleasantries to those who greet him on the way that his eyes lock onto your figure, listening intently to what Ruffnut and Tuffnut are saying. Following the movements of their arms with your eyes as they spoke animatedly about who knows what. Hiccup finds a small smile appear on his face at the sight of you, only looking away when his father claps a hand behind his back making him aware of his surroundings, turning towards his father struggling to listen to whatever issue his father needs resolving around Berk this time, his thoughts still surrounding his best friend, knowing that as long as you are here he can be himself, just Hiccup. As that was always more than enough for you and that idea alone makes him feel less like an outsider.

2. Missing you when apart

He was starting to regret saying you couldn’t come with him. Not that he doesn’t enjoy Astrid and (sometimes) Snotlout’s company, but it clearly isn’t the same. While he usually enjoys scouting missions as they are a peaceful opposition to the dangerous missions they have had as of late, you typically come with him. 

But he knows that you cannot leave the edge defenceless and Astrid was complaining about not getting out with Stormfly enough- so it all made sense logically for Astrid to come instead and for you to stay on land, protecting the dragon eye lenses the group had hidden.

He couldn’t trust anyone more which is why he was confused as to why he felt so anxious. Even Toothless could notice the angst radiating off his rider, making a noise of questioning at Hiccup when he was quieter than normal, not even going over the route the group were scouting- something he usually did a hundred times until the group got annoyed at him. Not even playfully joking with Snotlout about who was the better cousin until Astrid would make a comment that would set Snotlout off arguing with her.

Instead, the three riders sat in somewhat awkward silence with Astrid and Snotlout starting at each other trying to gauge if the other knew what was wrong with the boy and who was going to ask him as seemingly neither wanted to as usually you would look after Hiccup when he got like this but you were back on the edge and honestly Astrid was wishing she didn’t kick up such a fuss about her and Stormfly’s lack of action as even being bored back on the edge was better than being sat in this haunting silence.

It was only upon returning to the edge that the two saw his mood pick up, he nearly crashed Toothless into the ground at the speed he dismounted causing the other two to look around in panic until they saw him running towards you and then it all made sense. The two snickering slightly as they realised that he was only in a foul mood because you weren't around.  

3. You looking after him when he gets sick

“It was only a matter of time” you muttered to him as you bundled him up in his blankets and he knew that you were right, you had been telling him for weeks to wear some warmer clothes during his flights with Toothless and his lack of listening has left him bedridden with a horrible cold, head pounding, nose blocked and red cheeks. He could only imagine the state of him somehow shaking and sweating all at the same time. He would’ve replied with something teasing if his throat didn’t feel so scratchy so he simply settled for a huff which made you laugh quietly in return. 

“Okay, I will stop being mean, but only if you get some sleep” you reasoned with the boy as he whined at the idea thinking of everything he had to today 

“I will get Astrid and Fishlegs to take your jobs for the day- can't have you getting any sicker what would your Father say?” you continued and at these words, the boy stopped fussing, the exhaustion finally catching up to him. 

“Have a good sleep Hiccup, I will be here when you wake up,” you muttered as he dozed off.

 For some reason, Hiccup couldn’t understand those words made him feel so much better.  

4. When his dad mentions you

Small talk with his father even after all this time was still somewhat awkward, like the feeling of your skin being too big for your bones. But, it was much better than it used to be or at least Hiccup usually believed it was. Still, today he would give anything to be anywhere but sit with his dad in their family home as he couldn’t stop going on about you and possibly betrothals something Hiccup knew would annoy you.

“I heard a lot of the boys around here want to ask for her hand, so maybe you should get a move on” Stoick spoke trying to hint at the boy's clear feelings for you

“I- what?” Hiccup asked confused, when had he ever shown interest in that?

“Oh it's nothing” Stoick tried to cover his tracks feeling Hiccups in annoyance at his words ‘you two just remind me of myself and a special someone when I was younger” 

“What are you and Gobber? I’m sure she will be very flattered by those words Dad” Hiccup laughed before quickly taking his leave before his father could sprout out any more nonsense. 

“Me and your mother” Stoick muttered but Hiccup was already gone, probably halfway back to the edge due to how fast he bolted out the door.  

5. The realisation

Watching you interact with Toothless was one of Hiccup's favourite things to do. Seeing his dragon take a shine to you just as much as he does makes a warmth spread all over his body in a comforting way. 

“Hiccup, my brother! What’s happening?” Tuffnut called out as he made his way towards the boy Hiccup quickly looked away from you for some reason embarrassed to be nearly caught by the boy, his cheeks red and hot

“Not- not a lot” Hiccup tried to smile but it came off uneasy much like his words. To his luck, Tuffnut didn't seem to notice instead looking at where Hiccup had his eyes trained just moments before before looking back at the boy 

“Don’t worry I see” Tuffnut nodded in understanding causing Hiccup to become confused 

“See what?” he questioned the peculiar boy 

“You were finally building up the courage to ask her out!” Tuffnut declared “I mean it’s about time everyone knows you have the biggest crush on her! Don’t let me stop you, in fact, I wasn't even here!” the boy quickly ran off as Hiccup's thoughts whirled around his brain about what on earth was Tuffnut on about he didn’t have a crush on you. No way. I mean sure you are the first person he looks for in a crowd of people, he gets irritable when you aren't with him on missions, you are the only one he would want looking after him and his father loves you but that doesn't mean he likes you right- your his best friend he couldn't possibly- could he? 

Then it hit Hiccup, he did have the biggest crush on his best friend, more than a crush really. He was irrevocably in love with you and to make matters worse Tuffnut knew before he did.  

[idiotgojo]

Megumi in Heart Diffraction Glasses ♡♡♡

warning; nothing just tooth-rotting fluff and grumpy megumi, school au

Megumi had been in a foul mood all day, snapping at classmates and avoiding eye contact with anyone who tried to talk to him. It wasn't just a bad day; it was terrible as if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Not even seeing you when he got to school could lighten up his mood. You noticed his sour attitude and wanted to cheer him up, but every time he saw you walk toward him, he'd turn around and walk in the opposite direction ignoring you too.

It was finally after school hours that you found him sitting alone, shoulders slumped at the bottom of the staircase nobody uses near the ground. The sun was setting, and orange hues were cast across the field of boys playing football.

"Hi gloomy," you said approaching him, he was surprised to see you but at least wasn't making a run for it this time. He didn't say anything, just went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. You sat beside him on the stairs looking at the beautiful sky that was turning pink and purple.

"I really don't want to talk right now," he said after a long silence. "Not even if I offer you your favorites?" you opened a wrapper of these ginger-flavoured sweet treats, offering the whole thing to him.

You watched him pick a few out, trying not to grin as his expression softened slightly. Before you knew it, he was crumpling the empty packet. "I've just been having a terrible day. A series of unfortunate events," he grumbled incoherently, not wanting to delve into details.

You scooted closer, resting your head on his shoulder. "I get it. Sometimes everything seems to go wrong. But you know what? You don't have to go through it alone. I'm here."

He didn't respond immediately, but his posture gradually relaxed as you continued offering comforting words and small jokes to lighten the mood. You rummaged through your bag, searching for something, while Megumi waited patiently.

"Look what I've got!" you said, presenting ridiculous red colored heart-shaped glasses.

Megumi raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. "What are those?"

"They're those new heart diffraction glasses!" you explained, slipping them onto his face. "They turn every light into tiny hearts. Perfect for brightening up a bad day."

He looked around, blinking as the world transformed into a field of glowing hearts. His initial skepticism gave way to a surprised chuckle, his eyes softening in awe.

"Alright, alright," Megumi said with a small, affectionate smile. "I'll admit, this is kind of amazing," His gaze lingered from the scene ahead of him to you, your smile accompanied by a million little hearts in the background. He couldn't help but be charmed by how you seemed to light up his world. "And so are you" he added.

As the two of you sat there, surrounded by the playful glow of heart-shaped lights, Megumi realized that sometimes, the smallest gestures could make the biggest difference.

note; requested by @blue-musingss , I'm sorry but when I posted the original asks Tumblr's tags weren't working so I had to take that one down and repost. Hope you like this one!

© idiotgojo 2024 do not steal or translate. if you wish to use the idea and create a better fic please tag me :)

[spitdrunken]

i am absolutely insane about your headcanons with the vee's, my mind is so full now... this is exactly what i was hoping to find when searching through the hazbin x reader tag after watching the episodes 👁️🙏🏻 please i'm so!! the being a writer for the vee's imagine is such a good idea, val and his.. comment especially got to me..

also, for your consideration:

Val — or all of the Vee's, really —, but, in the beginning, he's really not convinced about the quality of your dialogues, despite all the lines he's read (or, well, has had Vox read to him), so naturally you have to read your previous stories out loud to him, cheeks flushing and squirming when it gets to particularly graphic scenes and his gaze on you is so very heavy, smoke caressing your jaw while you stumble over your words.. It's worse if you've written about them and a character who resembles you, and Val's smile widens when you skip from story to story, mentioning the character — definitely not you — sucking Vox off, bending over willingly for Val and begging for Velvette to touch her, or even take all three of them at once, greedy...

Also the. love potions Velvette makes have me feeling things.. Her or Vox but they might end up putting a drop or four into your glass — purely accidentally, of course! —, and...

this is terrible.. my mind is too full now... i might have to post writing for hazbin now and it is your fault alone.. (affectionate; truly, I've enjoyed your thoughts so very much!! thank you for sharing!)

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :D!! I had an absolute blast writing it myself, and I've been thinking about it lots!! Your ask made it even Worse (/pos) and I simply had to write more!! Please please please let me know if you write something for Hazbin, I can tell from your ask already that it'll be wonderful! And if you ever wanna chat about these guys, feel free to message me again, haha.

Notes: power imbalance, sexual harassment, heavily dubious/noncon due to love potion usage.

The fact Vox even bothers at all to take the time to sit Valentino down and read to him is already a show of your quality— He really wouldn’t go through wrangling him like that for just anyone, especially not with Val getting a bit pissy when being reminded your works were being compared to his. He needs to be told that, obviously, Val, some mere written words are never going to compare, especially not in earnings, to his creations. This placates Valentino. But all Vox gets for his efforts are a lazy flick of one of Valentino’s four wrists, his eyes not even looking at him. “Look, I still think it fucking sucks. But if you wanna hire them so badly, whatever. I’ve got better shit to do than listen to daddy’s horny story-time.” Suffice it to say, he becomes a lot more… Amiable (poor you) once you’re actually working there, and he has a face to attach to the stories. He can tell upon first glance that you’re one of those pathetic little hermits, too scared to leave your own shitty apartment, barely scraping by— He’s recruited plenty of those types as whores, after all. So easily pushed around that it shouldn’t give him nearly as much satisfaction as it does.

When Valentino practically demands you join him in his room and read your previous work to him, you sputter out protests, heart skipping a beat. Every employee in the company has something bad to say about this man, and so he’s about the last person you want to be caught alone in a room with. Especially not his bedroom.

“Ah, sir, I’m not really sure—“ But he’s already wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his side as he drags you through the halls. The first thing that strikes you is how different the texture of coat is than you were expecting. It doesn’t even feel like anything at all. “Oh, sweetheart, call me Valentino. No need to be so unfamiliar with each other.” He practically purrs, a single finger tracing up the contours of your chest. “I feel like we’re going to get quite familiar.” If all the alarms weren’t ringing in your head before, they most definitely are now. But there’s nothing you can do. His grip on you is tight and, underneath his red coat, you can feel the hard metal of a pistol pressing against you.

He takes you to his room, walls covered with posters featuring himself, and you hardly have the time to look around before he sits you down on one of his red couches, still caught underneath one of his arms. It’s hard to think, much less speak, as Valentino starts to prod you to pull out your phone and start reading. “No need to be shy. You’re such an artista, aren’t you? Don’t keep me waiting.” It’s easy, at first. When the scene hasn’t grown explicit yet, and you can pretend you’re only reading the text out loud to yourself like you always do, making sure the sentences sound right. But Valentino makes it hard for you to distract yourself entirely. He rubs circles on the skin of your thigh, and the smoke from his pipe has long since been the only thing you can smell. The red smoke makes your head a little hazier, tongue a little looser— Though that all just might be because you’re not getting enough oxygen. Your every muscle is tense and, you think, this is what being a prey animal must feel like. The first time you stutter out the word ‘cock’, Valentino barks out a laugh, loud and sudden, entirely contrasting with the sultry demeanour he’s been putting on the whole time. You jump, gaze flickering from the screen to his face, before continuing. It gets worse when you realise exactly what story you’re reading out loud to him, one of the ones you’d never even posted anywhere, so utterly self-indulgent and poorly thought out that you regret it with every ounce of your being. (Unbeknownst to you, Vox has already read every draft you’ve ever typed up, but that’s neither here nor there.)

“Sorry, can I maybe, um, read a different one?” You practically squeak out. “I realised I have some better drafts, and…” “No,” Valentino shuts you down, tone temporarily harsh. “Don’t get too fucking cocky now, you’re already taking up enough time as it is. Shit’s about to get interesting, finally.” He’s saying all of this as if he wasn’t the one to drag you there in the first place.

So you trudge onward, reading as fast as you possible can, just trying to tough it out. As you read about a scared, unaccomplished demonic main character catching the eye of a trio of some of the most famous demons in town—through entirely unrealistic circumstances—you can see his grin grow wider from the corner of your eye. His nails dig into the flesh of your thigh, the smoke surrounding your face turning to caress your cheeks.

“So, let me gets this straight… You wrote about a trio of powerful demons with matching names, taking turns fucking an absolute nobody silly. One of them’s a pimp, the other a fashion designer, and the other a business man.” Valentino doesn’t give you the chance to respond. “Greedy little slut. You even chose this one specifically to read out to me, huh? Seems I got you all wrong,” he hisses out. “This must be a dream come true for you, isn’t it?”

Let’s just say that you got enough ‘material’ to write another four or so stories, just from that line alone.

----- A drop of love potion, and models always behave the absolute best, or so Velvette thinks! (As long as you don’t put in too much. It’s very hard to take good pictures when the girls keep trying to kiss you.) No bitching, no whining, only an easy to pose, cute demon to work with. And if she dresses you up in clothes that reveal more than they obscure, purely for her own enjoyment and usage, who’s going to blame her?

Certainly not you. You won’t remember a single damn thing. Not even the parts where you babble on about how pretty and gorgeous and cool she is, and how you’ve admired her for so long— All things she’s heard a million times before. Normally, she wouldn’t care less about it, but such words coming from someone with only a drop of her potion in her system means they’re all the absolute truth. She thinks it’s almost cute when it’s coming from you, really. ------------ Vox, on the other hand, would be more likely to use his hypnosis on you than a love potion. Just to have a few minutes in the middle of a meeting where you’re practically putty in his hands, all of your usual anxiety and shame having slid right off of your shoulders. He doesn’t feel any guilt about it whatsoever. Having read all of your works, he finds it safe to say that this is the exact kind of scenario you would enjoy…

And even if you didn’t, he still would. He gets a bit of a thrill out of the loopy, relaxed smile on your face as you nuzzles your cheeks against his arm, professing all of the thoughts you had about him before working at VoxTech, and the ones you still have today. It’s during one of these exact moments, that he’d likely find out that Valentino had fucked you already, something he hadn’t found necessary to mention. They’ll have a bit of a discussion about that later!

[pinkponyclubbb3]

Revenge.

summary: y/n and chris despise each other. After he does something unforgivable Y/n decides to get revenge by sleeping with his brother.

Warnings: Intense Smut,cursing,alcohol, female masturbation, getting caught in the act,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The mix of alcohol and sweat fills my nostrils, as I get through the crowd. I scan the room, looking for Nick or Matt, but there is no sign of them. I feel myself being groped and immediately turn around. When I made eye contact with the blue-eyed man who had just touched me, we both had a look of disgust. “What the fuck are you doing?” I yell at Chris. “Trying to stop myself from throwing up, I thought you were someone else.” I roll my eyes and smack his red solo cup so whatever he was drinking spills on his shirt. “Fuck you.” I flip him off as I turn around to continue my search for one of his brothers. He grabs my wrists and faces me towards him. “Watch your tone with me, or I’ll have to put that mouth to good use,” he growls as he tightens his grip on my wrists. Neither of us breaks eye contact. We are so close that if anyone looked at us, they would think we were about to kiss. I try to get any words out of my mouth but i’m so taken back.

“Y/n! I was looking for you! Chris, let her go, Jesus.” I turn around and see Matt. Whatever was going on with Chris a few seconds ago is over with. I greet them feeling a bit of relief because I had no response to Chris. We meet nick outside who’s playing tag with our other drunk friends. “Are you 5?” Matt asks Nick. “You’re right. Tag!” Nick hits Matt’s shoulder and starts running but trips over his own foot and falls. I immediately start dying laughing falling to the ground too. “Fuck I had too much to drink.” Tears are streaming down all of our faces because of how hard we’re laughing. “Nick let me get tipsy and i’ll play tag with you!”

Hours later

I’m alone in the kitchen, looking for another shot to take. If I remember this night, tomorrow, I didn’t do tonight right. I throw the shot back and immediately feel it burn my throat. If I were sober right now, it would probably taste worse. I see a small crowd start to form around a boy and everyone starts laughing and reaching for the phone. I was going to ignore it until I saw people scanning the room and eyes land on me.

My heart drops to the floor. I see a few people move out of the way to find their friends and see Chris holding a phone. Without thinking, I run up to Chris and take his phone. My heart shatters as I look at an old video of me masturbating that I sent to an old ex-boyfriend. I feel my eyes watering, and I’m frozen. I can’t move; I can’t look away. A look of sadness, anger, and humiliation washes over my face. I slam his phone on the ground until it’s in a million pieces. I hear him yelling at me but i’m too focused on getting out of there. I run upstairs and find an empty bedroom. I slam the door and immediately break down.

The feeling of embarrassment won’t go away. I pace around the room, thinking of ways to get back at him. This was a new level of low. My prayers were answered when I saw Matt walk into the room. An idea pops into my mind. Not caring about the consequences, I slowly start going up to Matt and subtly start trying to make a move. “Hey, hey, slow down. You’re drunk. Are you okay?” I see the concern in his eyes, but I’m too focused on getting back at Chris to care. “I’m fine, Matt. You know, a sick part of me liked being seen like that in front of so many people.” I whisper in his ear. Taken back I can feel the tension in the room change. “You sure you’re alright, baby?” The truth is, I’m not, but getting back at Chris is more important to me right now. I don’t reply; I smash my lips against his. He hesitates for a split second but immediately puts his hands on my hair and pushes me against the wall. 

“Matt I need you to touch me please.” I beg him. “Say it again.” He tells me. I can feel the wetness between my thighs as I clench my thighs together. “Please touch me.” He doesn’t hesitate to lift up my skirt and trace his fingers on my clothed pussy. “So wet already?” I hum in response. I feel him pull my underwear to the side and his fingers explore inside me. He touches my clit for a split second and I shut my eyes tightly. He continues to tease me, his fingers dancing around my clit but never giving it the attention I crave. "You're always so desperate, aren't you?" He says with a smirk, his fingers still inside me. "Always begging for something."

My eyes roll back as I feel him enter his fingers in my needy cunt. This started off as a revenge thing but if I knew he felt this good I would’ve done this a while ago. He starts moving faster. My head is laying on his shoulders as I moan profanities. “Fuck Matt.” I flinch by the loss of contact when he removes his fingers. As I was about to protest Matt grins as he slowly pulls his fingers out from under my skirt, bringing them to his mouth and licking them clean.

"You taste so good, you know that? I bet you'd taste even better if I used my mouth instead." He says, his eyes locked onto mine. He takes me to his bed and gets on his knees. He pulls my underwear to the side and while keeping eye contact he puts his mouth on my clit and starts eating me out. “Oh fuck-“

Matt devours my pussy, his tongue swirling around my clit and dipping inside my dripping wet folds. He sucks on my clit hard, making me cry out in pleasure. “Fuck Matt, I’m close. Oh my god!” His free hand reaches up to grab your thigh, spreading your legs further apart as he eats me out relentlessly. I grab his hair as I feel my orgasm hit. My vision goes blurry, and I see stars.

He wipes his mouth and starts to unbuckle his belt. “Hands.” is all he says. I give him my hands and he turns me around ties his belt around my wrists. “Alright baby is it okay if I take these off?” He tugs on my v-neck shirt exposing more cleavage. I nod my head yes. He doesn’t hesitate to take my shirt and lace bra off. With my hands bound behind my back he bends me over the bed. He spreads my legs and uses his middle finger to graze my slit. “Stop teasing.” I hear him chuckle behind me. I hear his jeans fall to the floor. I feel him positioning himself. Without hesitation he thrust inside of me making me take all him. I scream in pleasure. “Matt!” My eyes are rolled back.

He grips my hair and shoves my face into a pillow. “Fuck you feels so good wrapped around my cock.” He slaps my ass as hard as he can. A mix of pain a pleasure hit me all at once. I completely forgot about Chris all I wanted to do was focus on all the pleasure Matt was giving me. Matt pulls out of me and sits down. “Come here.” he calls me over with two fingers. I see him sitting on a chair so I go over to him and straddle his lap.

He positions himself inside me and I take all of him. He rolls his eyes back. “Oh my god. You take me so well baby.” As we continue the door starts opening but Matt is too deep into pleasure to realize. I look up and make eye contact with the man who basically is the reason i’m doing this.

Chris fucking Sturniolo.

Neither of us say anything. I see the anger in his eyes, and it’s just turning me on more. I keep eye contact with him as I ride his brother. I throw my head back, feeling Matt hit my G-spot over and over again. “Fuck Matt, I’m so fucking close.” I go back to look at Chris, who is just standing in the doorway. If looks could kill, I would’ve been dead the second he opened the door. “Hold it.” The feeling in my stomach becomes more intense. “Fuck I can’t, Matt.” I cry out. “Beg me to let you come all over my cock,y/n.” I smirk at Chris keeping eye contact with him. “Please let me come Matt i’ll be so good for you.” I look back down at Matt and can see in his face his orgasm is approaching too. “Cum for me y/n.”

Matt throws his head back as the pleasure takes over his body. I look back up at Chris refusing to break eye contact as I cum and scream his brothers name. My mouth is open and I keep bouncing on his lap riding out my orgasm. Chris doesn’t say a word and just leaves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: thank u for reading lmk if u want more stories or leave me some suggestions

[sniigura-archive]

night sky

college au! Adam x fem!Reader

Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4 ; Part 5 ; Masterlist

Summary: Make up, make out- I MEAN!!!

CW/TW/TAGS: SMUT! College Au, Adam is his own warning, semi public sex, misogyny, insecurities on readers side, referenced mental health issues, outdoor sex, squirting, oral sex fem receiving, fingering, controlling behaviour, angst, fighting, making up, manipulative behaviour, jealousy, breeding kink, creampie, tell me if i missed smth

You have been spending an embarrassing amount of time staring into the mirror and stalking Eve’s Instagram account. If anyone ever catches you going insane over a guy like that you would just drop dead on the spot. Not even Judas made you crazy like this.

Part of you feels bad about having violated Adam’s privacy like that. The other part couldn’t give less of a fuck.

He does it all the time so why shouldn’t you??? Equality, or whatever.

After finding the pictures and video on Adam’s phone you have been back on your avoidance trip. You haven’t felt this inadequate before. Well, you have. You haven’t felt this bad in a while. Your careful build up self confidence was gone just like that.

You are pretty sure Adam hates you a bit. It wasn’t bad where you were completely ignoring him. You still text him back (When you feel like it), and talk to him (When he comes to you). He’s becoming restless, you can feel it. Might have to do with the sex ban. Or maybe you keep making excuses about how busy you were.

You tell Adam you’re going to the cafeteria with your friends, and suddenly he’s also there with Lute. Watching you. You work a shift and oh! What a coincidence! He needs to replace his guitar strings! Of course he has to be in the store and talk your ear off your whole shift. Probably has to do with Lucifer turning up that one time.

You text him you can’t hang out, since you have to study in the library. Hanging out just means Adam trying to take your clothes off and you refusing. You can’t stand the idea of not being covered around Adam right now. Wiping Adam’s memory of your body clean would be a dream right now.

Well, you can’t really drown in your insecurities when you keep yourself busy. So you typed away on your laptop, trying to get your last paper for the semester done. You are free after this, all exams are written and assignments submitted. Then you could finally fall into a coma for a week. After that you’re back to working extra shifts for minimum wage with annoying costumers.

Someone pulled out the earphone out of your ear by the cord, you jumped slightly, bashing your knee against the table.

“Motherfu- Adam! Stop sneaking up on me.” You whisper yelled at Adam.

You both were alone in this section, its your hidden little gem. No one around, so technically you could yell at him, but you also don’t want to draw attention to you both.

“Hey, baby. You really know how to make a man search for you. This here your little corner?” He chuckled at you, while pulling out the chair besides yours. He plopped down, his thigh brushing against your knee.

Adam was leaning towards you, his breath fanning against your cheek. You could smell his cologne, “Made me think for a sec that you weren’t here. But you are a good girl, aren’t you? Always telling me truthfully where you are and with who.”

Man, you really were whipped for Adam, because this was turning you on.

Adam grasped the nape of your neck into his rough hand, he easily crossed the small distance between you two and smashed your lips together. He gently bit your lower lip and then brushed his tongue against it. You didn’t have much of a chance, opening your mouth for him before your brain could properly catch up to it.

While Adam’s tongue was entangled with yours, you were holding his face in your hands. His one hand, which wasn’t placed gently around your neck, was wandering across your waist and hips. Finally your rational mind hit you in the face. Separating your mouth from Adam’s made his brows furrow unhappily,

“I really have to do get this done.” You mumbled against his wet lips.

“Aw, babe, you’re such a hard worker. You want me to reward you?” His hand moved from your hand into the waistband of your jeans.

Panic flashed through your body. All your mind could conjure up was the horrible realisation that you aren’t pretty enough, you aren’t smart enough, you weren’t form the right social class and you were just straight up not up to Adam’s standard.

It’s not just Eve and Lilith, its all the girls he had something with. They were all pretty, decked out in expensive and well fitting clothes, they knew their way around fucking trusts funds and the stock market and whatever else. They live a life you can only dream of.

“Get your hand off of me!” You couldn’t help but snap at Adam defensively.

Adam followed your wish, his hands leaving you. You felt cold without his touch.

You saw Adam bite his lip, taking a deep breath. He was probably trying not to snap back at you.

“What’s the fucking matter with you?” He still ended up hissing at you.

As fast as the emotions boiled over, you felt yourself deflate immediately. You had a hard time staying mad at Adam right now. It’s not really his fault that you’re drowning in self pity.

“..I’m sorry. I don’t know, I’m just stressed..I think.” You focus your eyes on your laptop screen. Being a bad liar keeps biting you in the ass. But well, you are stressed. The fact that Adam is stressing you out is something you were going to keep a secret.

“Mmh, what’s stressing my baby out?” Adam’s hand went to gently brush a few strands behind your ear.

“Life.” Is all you sighed out.

“I know a fool prove stress reliever for that, it’s-“ Adam’s lips were brushing against your ear.

“I swear if you say orgasms…” You side eyed him.

“..Going on a date with me! Get your fucking mind out the gutter, sweet thing. But I wouldn’t say no to fucking you, of course.” Adam kissed your cheek, his lips moving towards your jaw, “You want me to overstimulate you, till you can’t think straight?”

Adam’s stubbles were tickling your skin, you giggled and gently shoved your elbow towards him. Shaking him off successfully, you grasped his jaw into your hand and gave his lips a quick kiss. You had to be quick, otherwise he would rope you into a make out session.

“I need to be able to think, so no thank you. Don’t pout like that. Go jerk off or something.” You continue to type away on your laptop, while reading through some paragraphs of the open book laying down besides you.

“Agh, flash me at least your pussy. Or! Send me a nude! Wouldn’t that be romantic?….I would even take you fucking bending over with all your clothes on. Please?” Adam went to rub his cheek against your shoulder while trying to give you puppy eyes.

You snorted at him, yeah as if.

“You are a distraction, Adam.”

“Love how you say my name. Do it again just breathier and more high pitched. Kinda like this ‘Adam~ Adam pleeeaseee~’ “ He mocked your moans from how ever many nights ago.

You felt yourself flush from embarrassment and shoved his face away, while he laughed at you.

“Leave or be quiet.” You told him sternly.

Adam wrapped his arms around your waist, while he still chuckled at his own joke. He laid his head across your shoulder,

“I will be a good boy, Mummy.” He cheekily told you.

You shifted around in your uncomfortable chair. This guy will be the death of you. Shaking your head at him, you went to fully focus on your work.

Adam seemed to struggle more with staying focused than you. His fingers drummed against your thigh, against the desk and all over your arm. He blew air against your ear, and played around with your hair. His legs kept bouncing around and he was constantly humming something. Adam took your one hand into his own, and played around with your fingers. He fiddled around with the rings in your fingers and he kept trailing his finger tip over your ring finger.

“..You have a hard time staying still?” You decide to ask Adam.

“Why the fuck do you ask?” He seemed defensive.

You just shrugged your shoulders, “Just wondering. I don’t mind, I can focus no matter how loud or busy it is.”

“Oh yeah? Why ask me to be quiet then?”

“…It’s hard to focus with you around. It semi works if you don’t talk.” It’s true, it’s just his looks and smell and everything that makes your head spin.

Adam grinned happily at that, “Babe, you just admitted that you find me soooo irresistible. Want me bad, huh?”

“I want to keep my scholarship more than anything.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Yeah, yeah. I fucking get it. It’s sexy that you’re such a hard worker. Means you also work hard to jump on this dick.”

“I don’t have to work hard for that.”

“You callin’ me a whore?” Adam asked with faux offence.

“I would describe you more as a slut.” You joke back at him.

Adam lifted your hand in his up to his fingers and lightly bit down on your bare ring finger. You wiggled your trapped finger around.

“At least you’re a loyal slut!” You tell him cheerily.

Adam laughed at your words. He kissed the back of your hand and moved his face towards your own. His lips locked with yours and he brushed his tongue against your soft lips.

“ ‘M totally your slut, baby.” He mumbled against your lips.

You snorted at that, pushing at his shoulders to create some space. Snickering into the air, you rested your forehead against his shoulder. His hands were on your waist, brushing all over your body.

“Dude, I really need to get the first draft done today.” You grumbled into his shirt.

“I’m here for emotional and sexual support, babe, go ahead and work.” Yeah, if this was so easy you’d be done already.

It took you longer than necessary to finish your first draft. Whenever you moved around to get new books, or put some away Adam always made sure to grope and slap your ass. He fumbled around with your shirt to get off as many buttons as possible, before you slapped his hand away. Occasionally he put his head on your lap, but you had to yank him away by his hair because he buried his face in between your legs. One time you dropped a book and when you crawled under the table he sleazily asked you if you were going to give him under desk support. Sometimes you wished he would drop dead.

After you were finally done, your head was basically smoking. Adam was happily drumming his fingers against his thighs, waiting for you to finish packing your things.

“I’m going to take you home, honeypot. There we can have some real fun.” Adam was basically beaming with excitement.

“Dude, no…I have to get some sleep in.” You also wanted to hide away and be alone with your thoughts.

“Shit. Fuck. Let me at least drive you home.” Adam grasped your packed bag into his hand.

Adam was getting bolder and bolder with his display of affection in public, which was kind off stressful regarding your ex is his drummer. You aren’t quite sure why you would want to protect Judas feelings. Maybe you just don’t want to be labeled as a slut.

Are you a slut?

Probably. It doesn’t matter in the end.

Adam dragged you into his side by your waist. His hand slipped into the back pocket of your jeans. At least the library was rather empty.

“How much longer am I going to be on your shit list for, baby? What can I do to have you forgive me?” He whispered in your ear.

Right. You told him you weren’t going to sleep with him because he pissed you off. You’re such a genius actually.

“Till my bruise is finally faded.” You pushed your cheap bracelets to the top of your arm to show the stubborn bruise which haunted your relationship with Adam.

“Shit. It’s still there?” Adan gently took your wrist into his hand, giving it a soft kiss. His finger marks were clearly imprinted on your skin, “I swear to you, my heart, this will never happen again. I am going to make sure you will be the happiest woman alive.”

You snorted sarcastically at that, “Alright. Whatever you say.”

“I’m being dead fucking serious.”

“You better be, because I’m going to murder you if do something like that ever again.” You ended up snapping at him, while yanking your bruised wrist out of his grasp.

Next time you were going to just not fuck a guitarist in a bathroom. It would save you a lot of heartache and trouble.

At least Adam really looked remorseful. He was also seemingly more aware of his strength, he’s much more careful with the way he handles you.

The rest of the walk to the car was uneventful. You talked Adam’s ear off about your work and he at least had the decency to nod his head and ask questions when it was appropriate. You were hoping to bore him to death with it, but he seemed genuinely interested in what you do. Or maybe he was a good actor? Judas on the other hand couldn’t care less about what you had to say, on any topic.

In the car Adam told you about his plans or lack of. He always gave you a glance when he said he is free all day Thursday and man, the weekend is going to be sooo boring with him alone. Totally not suspicious. You rolled your eyes at him while laughing.

Once Adam’s car stopped in-front of your home, you gave him a kiss. When you pulled away, he immediately yanked you back in to his mouth. Adam hummed against your lips,

“Text me, baby, alright?”

You nodded at him, with a soft voice you told him, “Of course. Thanks for driving me home, Adam.”

“Mmh, everything for my pretty slut.”

He does have to ruin most soft moments. Biting your tongue, you got out of the car and swung your bag over your shoulder. Unlocking the door, you waved at Adam who was watching you closely, and got into the ugly building. Walking up the stairs, you got into your apartment and threw yourself into your bed. FUCK.

A nap will be great.

———

Two cake transport boxes were in your hands, and your two companions on your sides were little help. Judas was begging right now, something about an oral exam and how he needed your notes for that. Bernadette on the other hand was talking your ear off about some new cowboy inspired club that opened and how you totally need to go there. Ugh.

You were a bit late. Usually you’re punctual, but you kind of overslept and then you had to go back because you forgot your baked desserts. With quick steps you walked towards the picnic tables and little grill stationed at the green campus. It was filled with the exorcists girls and Adam at the grill. Everyone was having obvious fun.

Bernadette shoved her phone into your face, causing you to nearly stumble and fall over. It took a bit to focus your eyes on the screen. A mechanical bull?

“Oh. Those are cool.” You simply told her. Finally reaching the table, you slammed down the boxes in front of Monica and Dymphna in exhaustion. Adam was watching you with curious eyes.

“You like riding the bull?” Bernadette asked you with a grin, her eyes wandering briefly towards Adam. The news of yours and Adam’s reconciliation was taken in differently by your friends.

Monica and Dy eagerly opened the boxes, taking a look at what you baked for them. They were supposed to bring something for this get together, but they were both horrible bakers and only self made things were allowed. They were lucky that you have been doing lots of stress baking. You couldn’t quite decide if you should lose weight, gain weight, gain muscles, have less muscles, be shorter, be taller. So! Baking!

“I don’t think you’re funny.” You told her with a glare.

“That’s okay, this is mostly for my own entertainment.” Bernadette shrugged your words off.

“Light of my life-“ Judas placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” You immediately slapped his hand off of you.

“-I need your assistance for this. I am begging yooooouuuu!” His voice turned annoyingly whiny and high pitched.

“When’s your exam?” You sighed heavily.

“..10 minutes.”

“10-?!….You should pick a god to pray to. That’s the only thing that can help you now.”

“Ha Ha. Coming from the atheist. I just need to to take a look at your notes, I swear! Nothing more.” He had his hands clasped together.

“Does it look like I have any notes on me?!” You exploded at Judas, while gesturing wildly to your body. Besides the boxes, the only thing you had on you was a purse as big as your hand, “I can’t help you. You’re on your own.”

Monica was cutting open a bread roll, and placed some sauces, vegetables and meat in it.

While you and Judas continued to discuss the logistics of you driving home to send him your notes (it would take you at least 20 minutes and you don’t want to).

“What are you guys up to this weekend?” Bernadette asked her other friends, while listening to you and Judas.

“Oh! Oh! We are planning this romantic dinner and then-“ Dymphna excitedly told her dear friend.

“Well, I have decided we will go to the new club that opened. Girls get free entry and 50% off on drinks! We haven’t had a proper girls night in a while…Sorry you can’t take your new boo with you.” The last sentences from Bernadette was obviously addressed towards you, with the way she was wiggling her brows at you. She showed your friends the page of the club, and they were scrolling through the posts.

“You won’t help me out cause you got a new boyfriend? That’s cruel….. Who is it?”

“I- Okay- I’m going to go now,” You pointed at the mass of brownies, cake and cupcakes you baked, “I don’t want any leftovers, I can’t see that stuff anymore.”

Monica handed you the sandwich she had been making, extra for you, “Thank you again. Love you!”

“I love you more!” Dy tried to out do her girlfriend.

“I love you most!” Bernadette yelled out.

You took it and shoved the food into your mouth, while waving everyone goodbye. Avoiding eye contact with Adam and ignoring Judas questioning yells of who you are with, you made your way to the bus station. Someone called in sick so you sacrificed your free day to work.

Shit, you wanted to yell at Judas for giving Lucifer your number. Whatever, you have a feeling Judas won’t stay away for long.

Adam took a brownie from the tray, taking a bite from it, “Man, that’s some good shit.”

And you were so not going to that club.

———

Your pretty underwear was uncomfortable, pinching and rubbing. At least your bra was doing its job of pushing up. You might rock the look of a sexy cowgirl but you would prefer to just…Be at home how you planed.

Learning how to say no was now your priority.

Once you finally got in, after standing in the long line for god knows how long, you made your way into the club with your friends. Bodies against bodies, the music was blaring and the light was going to give you a headache. Man, this will be great.

It didn’t take long for you to lose sight of your friends. You decided to get something to drink. Pushing your way through people, you stumbled towards the bar and waited for someone to take your order.

“Heya! What a surprise to see you here!” Ugh. Judas.

You just grimaced at him.

“You want to share who your new-“

“Dude. Seriously. Drop it.” You waved him off.

Judas frowned, “Is it someone I know?”

“Ugh…By the way, what the fuck are you doing just giving my number out?”

“What? To who did I give your number again…?”

“Lucifer.”

“Luci… Oh! No, sweetie, I gave it to Lilith. She said you guys have some seminar together?”

Oh, they’re good. You will give them that.

Shaking your head at that, you decide to ignore Judas.

“Here, you can have the rest of my pack. Sorry for causing any inconvenience, bae.” Judas pressed a pack of cigarette into your hands in an attempt at an peace offering. He winked at you, grabbed his drink and walked off.

Finally the bartender came towards you, and for a second you blanked out completely.

“Can I get a uhh, fuck….Red russian?” You dug your nails into the wood of the bar.

Handing you your drink, the bartender asked if you wanted to open a tab. Thinking it over for a second, you decided against it. You gave him a bill and told him to keep the rest. Grasping the cold glass into your hand, you looked around for your friends. You felt someone bump against you roughly, and when you turned your head to look to your side you made eye contact with the prettiest doe eyes in the world.

Eve looked at you apologetic, her full, glossy lips opened to probably spew out apologies. She was shorter than you and in your mind, much much more beautiful too. A white dress adored her plump, soft body.

Before you could properly process your actions, you let your wrist lax and your red drink spilled on to her dress. It was quick enough to let it seem like it was because of her bumping into you.

Man you’re a bad person.

“I’m so sorry!”

“So sorry!”

You both called out at the same time. You grabbed some napkins and helped her clean up as best as you could. She thanked you and excused herself to go to the restroom. This will probably haunt you for the rest of your days. It was worth it though.

You drowned your drink down in one go. Usually you drink exactly 0 alcohol. The reason being you are a horrible lightweight, together with your meds causing you to get drunk even faster. The taste of liquor hit your tongue, a fire burning through your body. This is what you get for drinking on an empty stomach.

Placing the empty glass back down on the bar, you walked towards the mechanical bull. Finally you spotted your friends. And Adam. Adam and Lute chatting with your friends. You should have known he’d be there.

You joined them, Monica wrapped her arm around you. Your eyes were on the bull, a girl was on there right now. She was doing okay. It was very hot though, watching her hips move like that. Would you also look good like that?

“Are you thinking off getting on?” Lute asked you.

“I’m honestly considering it. It would just be embarrassing if I fall off right after a few seconds…” You said as you watched the girl tumble off, “I saw a girl do like, fucking stunts on this thing!”

“It’s really impressive. I will be cheering for you.”

“With those thighs? Babe, you’re going to crush that shitty robot!” Adam cheered you on.

Nobody else seemed to be getting in. Whatever, you were just going to blame it on the one drink you had. Liquor courage or maybe you’re just stupid and out to embarrass yourself. Hauling yourself into the area, you skill fully swung yourself on the bull.

Once you were comfortable sat and grasped the strap into your hand, you felt the bull start to shift around. It started slow, rocking back and forth. It started to speed up faster than you anticipated, throwing you around. You were sure one of your friends was filming this.

Adam and Lute kept true to their words, they were cheering you on. Hollering louder than anyone else. You couldn’t help but giggle at that.

In your mind you were doing good, looking sexy as fuck, in reality you probably looked like a fish out of water. Whatever, you were just going to live with your delusions. After a few more seconds you were thrown off, hitting the padded ground.

You quickly got up again, flipping your hair out of your face. With shaky knees you made your way back towards your friends and whatever you could classify Adam as.

“Baby! You were doing so well! Nearly broke the record.” Adam helped you back down, setting you down besides him.

“Thanks! It was pretty cool.” You giggled breathlessly.

Bernadette grasped your elbow into her dainty hand and pulled you towards her, “Girls night! Bye, Boo!”

And with that Bernadette yanked you and your friends towards the dance floor. It didn’t take long for you to split from them, making your way to the restroom. Fuck there was a line. Life is really the worst.

After painful minutes of you standing around, chatting with random drunk girls who you immediately fell in love with, starring at your phone screen and smiling at the cringe texts Adam sent you, you finally got in. Doing your business and taking your rings and bracelets off to wash your hands, it took you less time to do all that than standing around. Putting your rings back on, you shoved your bracelets into your jeans pocket. You didn’t want the other girls to wait for you to get finally done.

Getting out of the restroom, you tried to orient yourself. Maybe you should stoop just wandering off or maybe you should just stay home.

“Watch out!” A sultry, feminine voice called out towards you.

Someone pulled you to the side, at the right moment. A waiter tripped and spilled the tray of drinks everywhere. You can’t imagine getting that tray smashed into your head.

“Oh my god. Thank you so much.” You looked back to see a beautiful, tall blonde woman smile down at you. Oh no. She’s beautiful.

“Oh dear! That was close!” Lucifer commented, “Good call, Lili.”

Ah so that’s Lilith. Adam why couldn’t you have average looking exes? Does he want to send you back to therapy?

“It’s you! That’s Adam’s..Well.” Luckier trailed off, making some vague gestures with his hands.

“It’s me. The poor cashier you harassed.” You monotonously told him.

Lucifer spluttered around helplessly, trying to defend himself. Lilith on the other hand was checking you out.

“How is he?” She gently asked, her hand reassuringly brushing over Lucifers shoulder. Her wedding ring gleamed even in the low light.

“Good..?” You didn’t quite know what else to say.

In hindsight now, the waiter should have bashed your head in with that tray. That’s better than whatever you have going on here.

“That’s good..” Lilith nodded at you, “You know…I- We know how Adam can be. You’re always free to talk to any of us.”

You wondered who that us included exactly.

“I won’t need it.” You didn’t even bother smiling back at them, you just wanted to leave. Your hand moved to nervously fidget around with your necklaces. It was subtle, the way they eyed your wrist and winced slightly. Shit, that’s right. No bracelet. You quickly crossed your arms behind your back. You probably look shifty as fuck. Great.

“We are probably the last people you want to hear this from,” Lucifer gently started, and you mentally agreed with him.

“But Adam…You should stop seeing him. He’s controlling and has a temper, but I fear you already know that.” Lilith continued. She was searching for the right words. To not scare you off, so you would hear them out.

Lucifer eyes were focused on something behind you, “..And if that isn’t enough, he might not be quite over his last break up.”

You followed his gaze to see Adam stand a few good meters away from you. His body language was tense, clenched jaw and hands made into fists, but the more he talked to Eve the more he seemed to relax.

If there wasn’t such a long line for the restroom you’d probably go there to throw up.

You kind of tuned out whatever else L&L had to say, something about you being a rebound and deserving better. Yeah right. Do they think you’re stupid? Of course you know that Adam is only after your body.

You try to repress the fact that it still hurts.

Turning around on your heels, you walked away from the couple and the heart wrenching sight. Where to? Some uncoordinated steps lead you up the stairs, going straight towards the roof. Opening the door, you hoped that it wouldn’t lock you out. Oh wait, there’s a piece of wood. Jamming it in between door and door frame, you let yourself breath in some fresh air.

Should you be worried that you went through a ‘Staff Only’ door just like that?

Eh, you wouldn’t really care if they threw you out.

Rubbing your hands over your arms, you made the horrible realisation that it’s cold. Looking around, you decided to walk around the entrance, hiding behind the wall. Otherwise someone would immediately spot you.

Rummaging through your purse, you pulled out Judas cigarettes and your lighter. What else were you going to do? Lightening your cig and taking a drag, you tried to collect your thoughts.

Okay. Alright. Squatting on the ground, you rubbed your hands over your face.

So! You’re a rebound. Why are you even hurt? It’s not like you’re together (but why did he call himself your boyfriend?). Maybe he’s also a rebound! Who knows! Sighing into the cold night air, you knew that wasn’t true.

Could you do it? Could you ride this out for as long as possible? Until he gets back with Eve? Until he leaves you? You really didn’t want him to leave. You should really get your shit together, he’s just some guy who can fuck good and you lose all your self respect over him.

He just has you so captivated! You don’t even get why! This is horrible.

Besides, you should remember that Lilith and Lucifer are unreliable sources.

Ashing your cig, you took a look at the ground to see lots of cigarette buts around. So you stumbled upon someone’s smoking spot. Bless whatever fellow minimum wage workers come here to destress.

Should you just ignore your whole conversation with the married couple? Act like nothing happened? You were much calmer now. Taking your last drags, you put out your smoke by your feet. Carelessly throwing the bud away from you, you buried your face in between your knees.

You heard the door quietly open and close, causing you to tense up. Man some employee was going to kick you off now. Maybe you can evade them? Shuffling as quietly as possible around, you tried to peek behind the corner.

You didn’t see anyone? And there were no foot steps? Was it just the wind? Are you officially going to go crazy because of your situationship? What-fucking-ever, you were going to go back. Standing up, you shook out your legs. Let’s just act like the whole thing didn’t happen.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Adam’s seething voice called out to you.

“Oh my fucking-! Stop sneaking up on me!” You spun around, facing him.

“Answer me.” His eyes burned into you.

It took a second for your brain to catch up. You knew he meant you talking to his Sworn Enemies.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” You decided on saying.

Adam clicked his tongue unhappily at you, “Don’t play fucking stupid with me, woman. You should know your fucking place by now.” He was slowly coming closer.

Rolling your eyes at him, you tried to take a few breaths so you wouldn’t blow up at him. Your place? God you hate him.

“I don’t get what you fucking want from me.” You threw your hands up in despair, taking a few steps away from him, “You- You fucking try to control me and then you’re so nice to me! And! And then! You are so angry with me and I don’t even know what you fucking want from me! Then you say that you’re my boyfriend!? Stop treating me like your toy.”

“Toy?! As if you’re any fucking better! I try to make it so fucking clear what I want from you!” Adam flexed his hands in an aggregated fashion.

“Yeah! Be your rebound! Just..Leave me be.”

“What the hell are you yapping about?” Adam suddenly inhaled sharply, pinching his nose bridge, “Those fucking snakes…”

“It’s not them! I saw the nudes of Eve on your phone!” You stomped your feet at him.

“What fucking- You went through my phone?! Are you out of your damn mind?!” Adam stuttered around.

“You go through my phone all the time??” You were actually losing your mind. At least he was right with one thing.

“That’s fucking different!” Adam went through his hair with his hand.

“How is it different exactly?” You dug your nails into your palms.

“Well, first off. I’m the guy-“

“Oh my god…” You interrupted him.

All you could do is laugh at this whole situation. Adam frowned at you.

“Baby, let’s not be like that. Cmon, tell me what you talked about with those assholes.” Adam tried to catch flies with honey now. Ugh.

“I actually think we should talk about you not being over Eve.” You loved poking the bear actually.

“I am over that betraying whore! Why else would I run after you?!” He was slowly but surely reaching his limit with you. Ha Ha.

“Yeah right. Why keep those pictures then?” Does he think you’re that stupid?

“I forgot I even had them.” He mumbled out guilty.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Yeah right.”

“What does it fucking matter to you? You’re the one still being best buds with damn Judas.”

“I was scolding him for giving my number to Lucifer!”

“Oh.” Adam rubbed his neck, carefully eyeing you, “You have a really interesting way of asking what we fucking are.” He tried to change the topic.

You scoffed at him. He’s so annoying.

Part of you isn’t surprised that Adam kept those pictures and even the video. It wasn’t for blackmail purposes, that you were sure off. It was for the same reason Adam reacts so violently towards Lucifer, as if it happened yesterday.

Adam has never let go of anything that ever happened to him.

That realisation quietly hit you. He hangs on to wrong doings from the past, which shouldn’t matter anymore. But they dedicate his every step. He fuels himself with spite and the knowledge that he is supposedly better than them.

You blinked at Adam, softly exhaling. The fury has left your body.

“That’s okay. I now know what we are.”

Adam looked at you confused and when he saw you turn around to leave, panic filled his body. He lunged forward, grasping your shoulder in his hand and spinning you around.

“You don’t know shit. Don’t leave. I will delete everything. Every picture, every video, every contact you don’t like. I will do it all…Just don’t leave.” Adam gently cupped your face into his big hands. His eyes were pleading.

“..You don’t even know me. I don’t get you.” You whispered. Adam’s eyes were searching yours. You weren’t quite sure what he was looking for.

“You’re such a bitch. You really don’t remember? And I always thought you were fucking ignoring me on purpose…” Adam leaned his head forward, brushing his nose against yours. He quickly pulled away again, not wanting to get distracted by you.

You simply furrowed your brows in confusion at him.

Adam pressed you against his chest now, leaving soft kisses at the top of your head. You simply let your arms hang at your side, you don’t want him to think he’s forgiven.

“You remember those compulsory course in theology we had to do during freshmen year?” He mured against your ear.

You don’t actually. To your own defence you don’t remember much before your college sophomore year. It was all successfully repressed, tucked away somewhere where it would hopefully not come to haunt you. You do remember your friends saying you were a huge bitch during freshmen year. Why they still wanted to befriend you is a huge mystery to you still.

You didn’t quite know how to be a person back then.

Shaking your head carefully, you let Adam continue his story.

“We were in the same course. Got put into a project together, just us. Fuck, you were a real cunt. Constantly fighting with me over everything. A honest to god know it all. Then you also had the audacity to critique my music taste? Told me that I need to listen to music outside of Daddies sphere.” He laughed into your hair at the memory, while you were embarrassed by your past self.

“Mmh, we talked a lot about music. Mostly you making recommendations and me being mad that they were actually good. One time I threatened you with my mother, which just confused you. It was weird to know that you didn’t know who I was. I was just an annoying, sexy, nobody in your eyes.”

That’s right, his mother is the chancellor of the weird private, christian college you both go to. To be honest you only found that out from your friends, who told you after you hooked up with Adam. You live behind the moon or something.

“You like me because I was mean to you? You are a real masochist.” You mumbled against his shirt.

“Only for you, baby! I had such a hard time getting ahold of you? And then you turned up with fucking Judas and god I wanted to kill him. You changed, too. You’re happier. I like that. It suits you.” Adam had his arms wrapped around you.

You finally lifted your own arms, to hug Adam back.

“I don’t want you to be a rebound. I want you to be my fucking…girlfriend. The whole package. I want everyone to know we are together, I want to leave fucking hickeys on your neck, I want you to come to me whenever you’re sad or- or mad or when you have a problem. I want you to yell and scream at me, to punch me and bite me, be as mean as you want, baby. I need to be with you. Please?” Adam was now holding you infront of him, still close of course. You don’t think you have seen him this vulnerable before. His hands were shaky.

“You don’t have to answer now-“ He tried to deflect, he was pulling back.

“I want that too! It’s just..You can’t keep doing that. I can’t be with you, if you let the past control you like that. Yelling at me won’t be good, for either of us. You have to talk to me like I’m your equal, not your possession.” You told him with teary eyes, “This can’t work if we both keep being so angry.”

Adam nodded at your words, and sighed, “Yeah, yeah. We can totally work on that together though!” He pressed you against himself again.

“I don’t think you want to be with me.”

“Why fucking not? Just cause you’re a bit crazy? Don’t you know about the Hot-Crazy scale, babe?”

“Well…You won’t meet my parents for one.”

Adam shrugged at that, “That’s good news.”

“And it’s not just freshmen year that I don’t really remember. It’s everything before that too.” It felt shameful to confess this.

Adam’s hand brushed over the back of your head, “That bad, huh? That’s okay with me, baby.”

“My friends are my family now, though. So you have to be nice to them. They…Fuck. They forced me into therapy and still pay for my meds.” You wanted to hide away.

“Mmh, I can pay for your meds. I can pay for everything.” He buried his nose into your hair.

“Yeah, no. I don’t want you to waste your money on me.”

“ ‘S not wasted if I spend it on you.” Adam tilted your head, looking into your eyes.

“You’re going to start sucking my dick again?” He breathlessly asked you.

“Dunno. Let’s delete the folder and we will see how I feel.” You told him with an eye roll.

Adam immediately whipped out his phone and went with you through his gallery.

“I can’t actually believe that girls just send those to you.” You have never seen so many tits in one night.

“What can I say? Bitches love me. You have lots of competition.” He snickered at his own bad joke.

Once he saw how unhappy you looked, he immediately tried to back track.

“You’re so funny, Adam. How about some more weeks of celibacy?” Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

“NO! You know my dick gets only hard for you. Don’t be like thaaatt.” He was whining.

“Pft. Now, delete everything out of deleted folder so it’s gone for good.”

“Yes ma'am. Any contacts that need to go too?”

“..How about we block Eve?” You asked carefully.

Adam snorted at that, “Sure, if you bock Judas.”

“Deal.” You both shook hands and exchanged phones, you blocked Eves from his and Adam blocked Judas from your phone.

“..What do you have in your hidden folder?” You asked Adam, finger hovering over it.

“Fucking nothing!” He quickly tried to get his phone out of your hand. You were quicker, hiding it behind your back.

“Adam, seriously?” You really shouldn’t have trusted him after all. What of Eve is in there?

“Fuck. Don’t look at me like that. I will show you, if you promise to be open fucking minded.” He grumbled unhappily.

You nodded carefully at him, handing him back his phone.

Adam nervously unlocked the folder, watching you closely for your reaction.

Your mouth fell open in shock, “That’s me! It’s all me. Why is it me?”

You looked at Adam for answers, but he was too busy hiding his face from you. Focusing back on his phone, you saw the screenshots and screen recordings of old as dirt social media posts. Did he black out Judas face? That’s kind of funny.

“You took a picture of me sleeping?!” You zoomed in on that picture.

It must have been when you first slept over at Adam’s place. You were passed out on his chest, and you could see the proud grin on his face.

“Enough now!” He snatched his phone out of your hand. His face was burning in embarrassment.

Some sick part of you felt flattered. You don’t think anyone has ever been so into you.

“The most fucking important thing we need to decide on, babe, is this. Is today our anniversary or when I bend you over the sink in the bathroom?” His mouth was near your ear, whispering seductively into. Ah, he was trying to distract you.

“Of course you would remember the day we first fucked.” You giggled at him.

Adam smashed his lips into your own, to shut you up. He herded you against the wall, pressing against you with his much larger body. His hands rested on your hips, rubbing circles into the flesh.

“There’s one thing I want to ask off you.” You mumbled against his lips.

“Whatever you want, my heart.” He moved to kiss your jaw and neck. When he said he wants to leave hickeys on your neck he really meant it, huh?

“Let’s, uh, keep our relationship on the down low first. I need to be the one who tells Judas about us. Ah, Adam. Since he kind off hates yoooouuuu.” Adam’s hand wandered over your clothed pussy while you talked, rubbing you through your jeans.

“Ugh, that asshole. Fuck, that reminds me…Baby, babe, you want our relationship to be based on honesty, right?”

Do you really? You carefully agreed with him.

“If I promise not to harass Judas over having the better dick, I need you to promise me to stay with me after I tell you this.” He looked into your eyes, his tongue was nervously wetting his lips.

“Oh god, what did you do? Did you fuck another girl? I can excuse that by saying we weren’t officially together.” You were a bit scared.

“What? Fuck no. There’s only you, baby.” Adam looked at you irritated.

He took your face into his hands and squished your cheeks together. That seemed to cheer him up, with the way he grinned at you.

“So…Where to start? Mmh, baby, you know how Judas was always running his mouth about you?”

You nodded carefully at him.

“It was actually kept strictly confidential aaalll in the band. How I hate that guy. Living my dream of getting to fuck you, to be with you? And he acted so fucking ungrateful. I kept just thinking if only that was me. Tell me, baby, who told you about what was Judas saying about you?” He seemed happy with it all.

“Monica and Dy…?” It sounded more like a question than a proper answer.

“Yeah, it took three fucking training sessions for them to listen in to me and Lute. We talked extra loud around them too! Gossiping bitches..”

It took you a few seconds for your brain to connect everything.

“..Let me get this straight..You let it leak through that Judas was shit talking me to my friends, so that they would tell me and I would break up with him?…All that work just to fuck me?”

That’s actually kind off hot of him but it’s best if he doesn’t know you are into this. Otherwise who knows what he would do.

“Not just to fuck. To keep you to myself. You’re all mine now, aren’t you? So it was all fucking worth it.”

He seemed like an apex predator to you. His big body, strong arms and legs. You were at practice a few times, you saw him in action. He’s like a beast. And the way he always grinned at you? He was going to eat you whole.

You pulled Adam’s face into your own by the his shirt. Both your lips collided into each other. Adam grabbed your ass, squeezing and groping as much as he could.

“You have been crushing on me for how long now? We are at the end of our Junior year after all.” You couldn’t help but giggle out in between kisses.

“Shut uuupp.” Adam buried his face into the crock of your neck. He had to bend awkwardly down for that.

“Adam, love.” You softly called out to him.

“What? Want to make fucking fun of me some more?” He rubbed his hands over your hips and back.

“You don’t wanna consummate your new relationship with me?” You gently played with his hair while speaking.

Adam immediately straightened his back, looking at you with raised brows, “Don’t mess with me, baby. My balls are arching for some relief. You want me to bend you in half on this roof?”

“Please?” You looked up at him, batting your eye lashes.

Adams lips immediately attached to your neck, licking and sucking marks into the sensitive skin. He reached out to unbutton your jeans, shoving his hands into your wet panties. He let his finger explore your pussy freely. Stroking through your folds, rubbing at your clit.

Your hand was in Adam’s hair, tugging gently at the soft strands. Your other hand went towards his shoulder, digging your nails into the shirt he was wearing. Adam entered his finger into your wet pussy, pressing his palms against your clit.

“Take off your shirt.” He mumbled into your neck, lifting his head.

You quickly reached towards your shirt, pulling it off over your head. Carelessly throwing it on to the floor, you let Adam admire your body.

Your arms came up to cross over yourself, self consciousness eating away at you.

Adam’s one hand easily wrapped around both of your wrists and he pinned them against the wall over your head.

“My poor, little baby. How could I ever let you think anyone is prettier than you? You’re so precious to me.” Adam pressed his forehead against yours. His voice was barley above a whisper.

His ring finger pressed against your entrance, slowly stretching you open. Your mouth opened and let out a helpless moan. Adam took the opportunity to shove his tongue down your throat.

He scissored you open, slowly but surely. His palm pressed more against your clit, causing your hips to grind against it. Shit. Fuck. Hot pleasure washed over your body. Damn Adam and the effect he has over your body.

“You going to cum all over my fingers? You like when I fuck you up with them? Yeah? I have to, babe, otherwise I’d split you in half.” He mumbled out in the air.

When you strained your wrists against his hold, he tightened his grip. He pressed your wrists down against the wall more.

“Adaaam. Need you bad. Faster! Please?” You whined out, begging for more.

“How about you beg some more? You were pretty mean to your boyfriend earlier.” He seemed very happy to call himself your boyfriend.

He buried his nose into the valley of your breast. Leaving more marks on your skin.

“Uggghh. My…Fuck!..My fingers can’t reach as far as yours. I neeeeeed you Adam. Can’t get off without you. Please faster?” You looked at Adam with pleading, teary eyes.

“That’s what Daddy likes to hear.” He murmured into the fat of your breasts.

He sped up the motions of his fingers. Rubbing against the sensitive spot inside of you. He knows your body better than you at this point. He made the come hither motions with his finger’s you loved so much, you moaned out for Adam.

You wrangled your wrists more against Adam’s grip. The pleasure was overwhelming you. Before you knew it you clamped down on Adam’s fingers while cuming around them. Adam helped you ride out your orgasms. He gently removed his fingers.

Adam gave you a quick kiss, before he kissed down your body. He kneeled down in front of you now, tugging your jeans down.

“Damn it, again with those fucking shoes.” Adam cursed, while he untied them for you.

You giggled at him and buried your hands in his hair. Messing his hair up. Adam grumbled at you, but he also didn’t stop you. He helped you out of the shoes and out of your jeand and panties.

When you tried to cross your legs, Adam immediately placed his big hands on your thighs to keep them apart.

“Fuck, I missed this pussy. Can’t believe you kept us apart.” Adam’s lip immediately attached to your clit.

You threw your head back, sobbing at the overwhelming feeling. Adam moved so he put your leg over his shoulder. The noises of his slurping filled the air, together with your moans.

Adam moved so he could wiggle his tongue inside of you, taking in as much as your slick as possible. Shit. He wrapped his lips around your pussy lips, gently tugging.

“Adam! Don’t be mean.” You moaned out while yanking on his hair.

Adam chuckled and went back to your clit. Drawing patterns into your clit with his tongue.

You held on to Adam’s hair, to grind your pussy on to his face. Desperately trying to get off, using Adam for your own pleasure. He didn’t seem to mind that much, you could tell from the raging boner in his pants. His heavy dick strained against his zipper.

You can’t wait for him to fuck you again.

Covering your face with your arm, you felt your toes curl as you came all over Adam’s face. Through your hazy mind you were sure you heard him mumble ‘Fuck Yeah’. He licked you clean, while you came down from your high.

Adam sat down on the floor and pulled you down with him. You gasped in surprise, while he sat you down on his lap. He turned so he could rest his back against the wall, while he unzipped his pants. Adam freed his hard dick from his pants,

“I need you to ride my like you rode that bull. That was hot as fuck. Could have busted a nut from the sight alone.” Adam rubbed his tip against your entrance.

You nodded at Adam. Taking in some breaths, you let yourself slide down his thick dick. Adam grasped your hips in his hand, holding on to you.

“Ah, shit. Great fucking sight. Your pussy is the best in the game, baby.” Adam grunted out. He had to hold himself back from fucking into you.

You reached towards your tits, moving so they spilled out of your bra. Pinching your nipples and rolling your hips into Adam’s. He gripped your hips tighter, helping you grind down on to him.

“How bout we do some of this?” Adam asked you.

He moved your hips in a similar fashion the bull did. You gasped at that, letting your head fall forward on to his shoulder. Moving your head to the side, your lips found themselves at home around Adam’s neck. If he can cover you in hickeys so can you.

Adam’s eyes were focused on your pussy. He watched you mesmerised, like he couldn’t believe this was truly happening.

“You need to fucking relax your pussy, baby. You’re dripping all over my pants.” Adam laughed breathlessly at that, he didn’t actually seem mad at that, “You like creaming around my dick?”

“Love it.” You mumbled out.

All you could think about was Adam’s dick rubbing into you, his hands on you and his grunts and moans.

Adam planted his feet on to the ground, and started to fuck in to you. You threw your head back, holding on to Adam’s shoulders. He let his hand wander form your hips toward your pussy, massaging your clit.

Your mouth fell open, you could feel another orgasm approach. While you recognised that feeling, it felt unfamiliar at its core. The pressure quickly build up in your abdomen. You bit your lips.

“You close? Wanna come with you. Need to flood your fucking womb, baby. Want me to breed you real good?” Adam moaned out, his brows were furrowed and he sped up his fingers against your clit.

“Adam! Feels weird. Shit! Please cum inside..” You sobbed out, pleasure clouding your mind.

“Feels weird..? Shit, this going to be fucking goooOOod. Cmon, baby, you gotta let go. Let go for me and I promise ‘M going to make you feel so damn good.” Adam growled out.

He fucked into you even rougher, his movements losing their rhythm. It didn’t really matter, you followed Adam’s instructions blindly. Letting go felt weird, it felt both wrong and amazing.

Before you realised it, you were gushing all around Adam’s dick. Squirting all over his pants wasn’t on your bingo card for today, but so wasn’t fucking with Adam on a roof.

You hid your face in Adam’s neck, shame burned through you.

Adam came inside of you, pumping his load into your waiting hole.

“Sorry! So sorry!” You couldn’t stop yourself, tears started to flow down your cheeks.

You clutched Adam’s crumbled shirt into your hands, sobbing into his neck.

“Shit. Don’t cry, lovely. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen. I made you fucking squirt? Holy shit. My dick that good, baby?” He soothingly ran his hands over your back.

You simply shrugged your shoulders at him. Sobs still wracked your body. Adam hummed some random song tune, his hand brushing over your hair.

It took a few good minutes for you to calm down, “..That was so embarrassing..” You whispered into the cold night air.

“In what world do you fucking live in? From now on, you need to squirt all over my dick every time we fuck. It’s good for my ego, baby, I swear.” He gently nuzzled his nose against your wet cheek.

“Unless you want to go another round, I need you to hop off my dick now, babe.” Adam gently told you.

You lifted your hips up, his half hard dick slipping out of you, together with a flow of his cum. Moving your hands to properly put on your bra again, you rubbed your hands over your face. Trying to wipe away the rest of your tears.

Adam fumbled around to put his dick away. Hearing you sniffle, he reached out to gently hold your face in his hands.

“I swear to you, you’re the hottest person alive in my eyes. There’s nothing you could do to change that. Yeah?” Adam reassured you.

You simply nodded at him. Adam reached around and took your shirt into his hands. He carefully helped you slip it back on. Getting up on weak knees, you picked up your panties and jeans. Getting re-dressed on a roof sure made you question your life choices.

Adam is your boyfriend now. That sure was a turn. Maybe not. He does talk a lot about getting you pregnant. Maybe it goes beyond being a kink.

You heard Adam curse, turning to look at home while zipping up your pants you saw him brush over his pants unhappily. The wet spot from you was placed right on Adam’s crotch. At least he’s wearing black jeans, it hid it somewhat.

“Looks like I fucking pissed myself! Fucking great. We gotta sneak out of here.”

“It won’t be noticed in the club, the light is shitty there. We just gotta avoid the girls, they’re going to have my head for leaving without you.”

“Yeah, baby, shit like that goes against girl code!” Adam gave your forehead a kiss, “Let’s get fucking going.”

You both sneaked back into the club, and you made sure to avoid everyone you knew. Adam was right behind you, with his hand on your lower back. Leaving the club, you looked at Adam questioningly.

“Uhh, I was planning on getting wasted so Lute drove. Let me get an Uber real quick..” Adam reached for his phone.

“It’s like a 10 minute walk to your home. Let’s go!” You tugged on Adam’s arm towards his home.

He groaned, but still followed you.

“..What did the evil blondes talk with you about?”

“Uhh, something about you being controlling and they hinted at you still loving Eve.”

“Those lying motherfuckers-“ Adam pulled you towards him.

[notjustjavierpena]

dark!joel miller dbf that comforts innocent!reader when she’s feeling lonely and sad but he can’t control himself and he coerces/manipulates her into him using her to relieve himself. pet names, condescending joel, breeding kink, the works 🫶🏼

Switch

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This might be my darkest filth to date. Thanks to anon for making me explore this side… it is definitely one of my favorite things to read, so let’s see if I’m good at writing it.

Summary: Joel, your dad’s best friend, finds you in your room crying and wants to comfort you.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: +18 Smut (MDNI!), dub-con, pet names, innocence kink, age gap, clit stim, dirty talk, piv sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, dad’s best friend 

Word count: 3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48393787

Switch

When Joel enters your parents’ house, he is surprised to find the door unlocked, but with no one inside. He calls out for your father then, moments later, your mother, before realizing that no one is going to answer.

It’s only when he is about to leave again that he notices your annoyingly cute shoes by the front door. He smiles, unaware that you would be on a visit to your hometown this weekend. It also means that he can start his search for the keys to the car that he has agreed to lend over the next couple of days. 

… but they’re nowhere to be found, and the thought of you being somewhere in the house makes a manhunt seem more fun. He could ask you, he decides, yes, a very good idea. 

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand as you hear the first knock on your door. It is a frantic movement that serves no purpose except to make your face seem even redder with how much pressure you use to remove the tear streaks as well. 

“Come in,” you say nonchalantly, turning on your spinning chair to face the door with a brave face.

Joel presses down the handle and gently pushes the door open. He sticks his head inside, “Hey sweetheart, didn’t know you were home from college. I’m just tryna find the car keys. Your old man said they’d be—“

He notices your red face and his brows knit together in parental concern. He walks into your childhood bedroom and closes the door behind him, “How’s college treatin’ ya? Made any friends?”

Your bottom lip trembles a little. Joel thinks it might be the saddest and most precious thing he has ever seen, wanting to snap a picture of the pouty face you are making as you try to stop yourself from crying. 

“It’s horrible, Joel,” you confess and the tears start spilling uncontrollably, “I feel awkward. Out of place and boring—“

“Hey,” Joel immediately strides across the room, a pang in his stomach telling him to soothe you, “What’re you talking about?” 

“I feel less lonely alone in my childhood bedroom,” you let out a little laugh as you cry, but Joel just wipes a few tears from your eyes, and you help him by catching the ones threatening to drip down from your chin. It’s a nice little gesture to feel him soothe you, and you lean into the touch for just a moment to acknowledge what he is doing. 

“Kiddo,” he tuts, watches you rest your hands in your lap as he cups your face. It gives him the opportunity to slide his hand down your cheek to hold your chin with his thumb and index finger. He tips your head back to gain eye contact with you, “You’re a smart girl. Anyone would be lucky to have ya barging into their lives. Just gotta do it. No need to cry.”

“Easy for you to say. I never had to win you over,” you try to stifle the sob that’s going to spill from your throat, but it comes out in a croak anyway. 

Joel’s face softens even more. He wants to do whatever he can to make you stop crying, deciding to hold out his arms, “C’mere, kiddo.”

You get up from your seat at the desk and step into his arms, letting your forehead rest against his shoulder and your arms along your sides. He chuckles slightly, chest rumbling a little, and kisses the top of your head, “Attagirl. There, there.”

You don’t register the flip of a switch inside of him before it is too late, starting with the sniff of your hair that sets off something primal in Joel. It’s vanilla. Dumb, innocent, Girl Scout-esque vanilla. You smell like fucking vanilla, and the sweetness has him inhale deeply as he realizes that he has been holding his breath.

It makes the sweet scent fill his nostrils once again, and, unsurprisingly, has him hard within mere seconds. He pokes into your thigh, and you look down with a loud gasp and the redness in your cheeks isn’t caused by crying anymore.

“Joel,” you sound confused, unable to find a proper way to respond to the situation.

Joel makes a decision then. He lets his arms unwrap from you and reaches down to undo your jeans, fumbling only for a moment with the button until getting to the zipper. 

“What are you doing?” Your eyes widen. Even moreso when he sticks a hand in your pants. 

“Nothing, I’m just tryna make you feel better, sweetheart,” he replies, smiling softly at you, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes as they’ve darkened with lust. When he swipes his fingers over your clit, your gasp turns into a moan and you grab onto him. Joel is in heaven, “There we go. Ain’t that better?”

“We shouldn’t—“ you argue, but Joel’s fingers grind harder against your clit, and heat starts to rise between your legs. 

“Shhh, shut up for a second and let yourself enjoy this. Betcha stupid college boys can’t make you come like I will in just a moment.”

You moan a little louder, shaking your head both to answer his postulate and to tell him to stop, “But Joel… Ah.”

Joel knows he shouldn’t, but you were waltzing around in a bikini this summer, and he hates you for growing up to be such a fine young woman. He cannot stop thinking about you in the red one with high legs, barely covering your ass and sending an old dog like himself to fuck his hand in his best friend’s bathroom. He deserves this after all this time.

His fingers move back and forth between your legs, expertly closing in on your climax with each swipe and you hold onto him for dear life. Your hips buck as you come, and he can feel a slight gush on his digits as your legs start to shake. 

“Good girl,” he praises, slowing down his touches until your high passes. Only then, he retracts his hand and watches the dazed look upon your face. 

It takes a few moments before you realize what has just taken place, drunk on being touched by a handsome man. Quickly, you reach to button your pants again, but Joel lays a hand on top of your wrist. Your doe eyes nearly have him toppling over.

“Joel, we cannot do shit like that,” you whisper despite no one being there but you and him. 

“Language,” he reprimands without hesitation, “Turn around.”

You make yourself a little taller, but cannot hide the blush on your face, indicating your heart rate, “I mean it.” 

“Turn around,” he reaches under your hand and curls his fingers into the waistband of your jeans, and you respond by looking down, “S’my turn.”

“Fuck, Joel— dad’s gonna murder you,” you continue your whisper. 

“Your daddy ain’t here right now,” Joel yanks at your jeans hard to turn your around. He kicks the spinning chair to the side, so he can push you down over your childhood desk and nearly make you knock over its pink lava lamp. 

The pulsing between your legs returns. You look at him over your shoulder, curling your toes in your socks as the anticipation of what is about to happen hits you. You know that you should fight it, and you make a last effort to stop him, but it isn’t very convincing. 

“It isn’t right.”

“You don’t want to leave me hard enough for your precious daddy to see, do ya? Or do ya wanna get me in trouble?” Joel reveals what he is doing behind you when you hear the buckle of his belt. The metal hits your carpet with a clink, “Answer me so I know if you’ll fuck me over.”

“N-no, of course not, never,” you stutter, already reaching to pull your jeans down now that Joel never allowed you to button them again. Joel wants to bite down on his fist, watching the blue and pink Superman panties reveal themselves. It’s all so perfectly innocent and he is going to ruin you by putting his cock in you.

Joel knows you’re not a virgin; has seen you getting picked up by some boy with a shitty car a few times. It’s fine. It makes this easier, to just be relentless, even if he wishes that he’d been the one to show you the ropes, wondering briefly if the stupid boy has ever made you come like he will. No matter what, he is sure that no one has ever made you come that fast. 

“Was it so hard to give in?” Joel eventually asks, pushing his own jeans and then briefs down over his hips, settling them around his knees. You shake your head, mirror him by tugging at your panties, showing off your wetness by slowly pulling to reveal the way they stick to your cunt. 

“Oh fuck,” he moans, cock twitching without even having touched you. He watches the light trickle of wetness seep from your pussy, glistening right before his eyes to invite him in. It takes all his willpower not to stuff you to the brim right then and there, “That all for me?”

You look back at him again, nodding slowly with your bottom lip between your teeth. You know this isn’t right but there’s nothing that could stop you from doing this when you’re this horny, this curious to know if he’ll even fit.

“Eyes front, sweetheart. Gonna fuck you real good,” he promises, watching you obey prettily and rest your tits on the Hello Kitty computer mat. 

“Please, put it in,” you whine, spreading your legs a little.

Joel lazily grabs his cock between his thumb and forefinger, takes a step closer toward you and nudges the thick head between your folds. He steadies his heartbeat with a slow breath, exhaling heavily as he starts to enter you. Fuck, he knows this will have the capability of ruining his life forever if anyone finds out but when you whimper at his size, he knows that he is done for; nothing will ever be enough again after feeling the tight grip of your young and inexperienced cunt.

“It’s not going to fit,” you tell him with slight panic to your voice, hands coming up to grab whatever you can but only the surface is safe. You are already panting from the pulsing of your walls, body resisting him just slightly. You want to tell him that you haven’t been fucked in months, and that you’ve never been with someone his size, girth stretching your aching cunt until your body feels feverish, “I’ve never been… Please, Joel, Mr. Miller. I—“

“Fuck you calling me Mr. Miller like your cunt didn’t just squeeze down on me when you said it,” Joel growls. He moves forward without warning, bottoming out inside of you and making you keen loudly as you feel him bump into your cervix. It hurts. Your nails dig into the wood, mouth opening in a silent shout.

“You never been what? With a man?” Joel continues, the real man is implied. A soothing hand comes to rest on top of the small of your back, acknowledging the pain that he has caused for just a moment before reaching to grab your hips with both hands. 

You suck in a sharp breath, screwing your eyes shut as you wait for the first thrust. Joel pulls back only slightly then settles inside of you again with a brutal force, thinking that you might as well get used to it quickly so that there’s no rush to finish the job if your father arrives home. He does realize that this is a possibility at any given moment. It makes him jerk inside you.

After that, he starts a pace that has little consideration for you. He will take what he has wanted since the beginning of summer, thrusting harshly into you and making the desk slam against the wall until you are a moaning mess underneath him. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, especially when his dick slides over that little spot inside of you that you’ve never felt anyone be able to do before. 

“Fuck,” you gasp loudly, clenching once as the nudge inside of you sends signals to your clit. It throbs like before, ready to be touched again but you don’t dare let go of the wooden desk in case you topple off onto the floor.

“You don’t fucking swear or I’ll tell on you to your daddy,” one of his hands slide up to hold onto the back of your neck. He leans over you, goes impossibly deeper. 

“Sorry, it-it’s just…” you whine, struggling a little against his grip but eventually managing to look back at him like earlier. It causes his fingers to dig into your cheek instead of your neck, “No one’s ever—“

He can see you struggling to stop yourself from cussing again, making him smirk as he breathes raggedly into the very pink room. He holds your gaze, ignoring the family photos on the wall in front of him, “Never what?”

“Fucked me like this, ah, made me want to co— Joel, made me want to come again,” you blurt out and squeeze your eyes shut again at a particularly hard thrust. You moan loudly, now also standing on your tippy toes because Joel’s hips are so strong that he is about to lift you off the ground a little. 

The hand on your neck and cheek slips around your head, covering your mouth to stop you from swearing once again. He wishes he had time to teach you a lesson. His fingers dig into the corners of your mouth, and you fight the urge to bite down to feel just a bit of relief from the tension building up in the pits of your stomach, tugging from inside towards your touch-starved clit whenever he thrusts against your g-spot.

“If you can’t use your words properly without spitting filth,” he says firmly despite his slowly crumbling facade, balls tightening as his climax builds just like yours, “Then you don’t get to talk at all, baby girl. Gotta save whatever pieces of your daddy’s girl I can now that I know you take cock like this. My cock. Bet you want me to come inside too, huh?”

You groan and nod, salivating into Joel’s palm. It shouldn’t turn you on, but the idea of him spilling inside of you and the fear of what could come next… it sends a thrill shooting up your spine. Testing the waters, you push back into him and the noise that it pulls from the back of his throat is worth a tacky porcelain dolphin shattering on the floor. 

With the splintering of the little figurine, Joel’s hand on your mouth pushes into you harder and he eventually has you upright. You still have both palms on your desk, arms stretched to help Joel keep you from falling over again. The front of your thighs burn as the edge of the table digs into them, creating a red line across them with each forceful move of Joel’s hips. 

You say something, but it’s muffled. Yet Joel guesses right without any explanation, hand on your hip coming around your front to find your clit and using two fingers to coax your orgasm closer. You feel a fire pool between your thighs, eyes rolling back into your skull as you near the edge. 

When you come, Joel groans along with you. He feels your pussy starting to pulse around his length, each drag of your walls sending him dangling on the brink of his own little death. He speeds up, lets go of your mouth to grip the edge of the desk and slam into you. 

“Gonna fill up that sweet cunt, watch you panic when you get bred like a slut,” he says through gritted teeth, and you wail as you try to get his hand away from your over sensitive nub that he has yet to let go off. He rubs you in earnest, has you screaming as he forces another high out of you that sucks him harder into you and makes him come inside of you. 

He will never admit how turned on the idea of you being late next month has you, but he makes sure that you milk every damn drop of his release with little care of the future horror it might bring. 

That’s when the sound of a door opening and closing sounds from downstairs. It sends you into an absolute panic, pushing back into him and Joel grunting, but then pulling out of you hurriedly. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you swear despite what he has just told you, pulling up your underwear and jeans without any consideration for Joel’s come eventually making a mess of them. You should pee, wash yourself and splash cold water onto your face to cover up what you have just done but there’s no time.

Joel dresses as well beside you. He seems a little calmer, but he can feel his heart nearly beating out of his chest. This was a bad choice. A really, really bad decision from his side. He would apologize if he felt sorry though. 

Quickly, the both of you descend from the stairs and into the kitchen. Your father is there, a puzzled look on his face as he sees the two of you together. 

“Hey,” you try to sound cool and collected, “Mr. Miller just came over to borrow the car keys but we couldn’t find them.”

“Shit, was that today?” Your dad goes around the kitchen island and into the hallway. He fishes out the keys from a bowl on the side table in there, “Sorry, Joel. I coulda sworn it was tomorrow.”

“No problem,” he holds his hands up in surrender, showing no harm inflicted, “I’ll be back later tonight.”

“Here ya go.”

“Thanks,” he catches them as your dad throws them across the kitchen, “See ya later.” 

He leaves without any more words, but he also leaves you with a shame that you never thought you could feel as you feel his come slide out of you and into your panties. You don’t even hear your dad asking you the first time about what you want for dinner. 

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[infinitevisions]

A Lesson (To Both of Us)

Pairing: Crosshair x Gender-Neutral Reader Summary: Crosshair decides to play games on you while teaching you how to snipe, but his plan quickly backfires. Word Count: 1,024 Tags: Crosshair teasing you, unresolved sexual tension, this isn't smut but it's somewhat spicey, wrote this with clone wars Crosshair in mind but imagine whatever era you want!! there is eventual fluff!! Notes: this is my FIRST X READER EVER, so if it's not good please bear with me!! crosshair enjoyers you deserve the world so i hope yall enjoy this

“I just don’t think this is in the cards for me.” You groaned. You stood in the training range with Crosshair's firearm, surprised he even allowed you to use it, even with his surveillance. While you had fired some rounds on the target, the gun grew too heavy and caused discomfort in your shoulders. You had no idea how he did this for a living. Crosshair groaned and used his leg as momentum to rise off the wall he was leaning against.

“So dramatic.” Crosshair remarked as he approached you. Before speaking, his augmented eyes scanned you up and down. It felt like a perfect circumstance for him to test the waters. The stage was set and the fruit was ripe for the taking.

“You’re in the wrong position.” He stated. Your neck was too far forward, straining your muscles, your legs were too close together, and your arms should exchange positions. You felt your breath hitch at the statement, but you attempted to ignore your filthy mind. Crosshair caught your chest stutter and cracked a grin.

“You’re too tense,” he added. “You need to loosen up.”

“Okay… mind showing me, wise one?” You joked, attempting to conceal the fact that your heart was pounding just from hearing his voice. But Crosshair wasn't dumb. He knew just how his voice affected you. He decided to add fuel to the fire. He threw his toothpick aside before getting to work.

“You need to spread your legs.” He drew back, keeping his gaze fixed on your face to watch how you reacted, whether you enjoyed this. If he detected any uncomfortable body language, he would stop instantly.

Luckily for him, he noticed your throat bob as you swallowed spit. Your legs separated, and you assumed a more solid stance. He observed you intently as you were doing so.

“How’s this? This alright?” You searched for more confirmation. He spotted a window of opportunity. He gave you a quick once-over before starting.

“Mind if I… show you?” He inquired before figuratively taking his shot. You finally shifted your attention to him, relaxing your grasp on the rifle for a moment. You took in his small grin and exhaled. You were curious about where he was headed with this.

“Of course.”

Crosshair's eyes shimmered with hunger.

He approached you from behind, pressing his armored chest against your unarmored but clothed back. He took his hands and placed them upon yours, guiding your hands to the appropriate positions. He focused his gaze just past your left ear. His breath fanned over your ear, and you continued to breathe deeply but sought to mask it.

“Much better now, isn’t it?” Crosshair asked smoothly, feeling your hands tremble beneath his.

“Y–Yeah. Lots. Feels amazing.” You tried lightly teasing back. He chuckled before speaking.

“Now, take a look around. Are you vulnerable?” He inquired as he felt your back compress against his chest and swell with every breath you took.

You certainly felt vulnerable. It was unexpected for Crosshair to be so close to you, yet it turned out to be one of the most outstanding experiences of your existence. The sunset made the most beautiful swirl of hues in the sky, and normally, you would take it in and appreciate it, but there's nothing quite like the sensation of having Crosshair against you.

However, it's important to note that his question was simply, are you a current target?

“N–No, uh… I don’t see anyone aiming at me.” You stated.

“Mm-hmm.” He rumbled into your ear, and your legs nearly buckled at the sound. For what amount of time would he continue to pursue this? How much more of you crumbling did he need to see before he was satisfied? Before you further spiraled into your thoughts, you heard Crosshair inhale to say his next words of wisdom.

“Try taking another shot for me.”

For him. For him. The words rang in your brain as you gently placed your finger over the trigger. He was whispering in your ear– right in the open for everyone to see. It drove you crazy. It was your primary motive for shooting the objective. You inhaled before pulling the trigger and giving it hell.

You blasted a straight shot to the target's forehead.

Despite your distraction from Crosshair, you felt quite proud of yourself and puffed out a little chuckle. However, you remained still since Crosshair remained motionless as well.

“Very good.” Crosshair purred in your ear, his tone dulcet as honey.

You couldn’t hold back the whimper that manifested after he said that. It was quiet, but Crosshair still picked up on it. Like he always did. Like he always would. You gathered yourself together, stepped away from him, and looked upward at his face. He also took a step back, allowing you some room.

You couldn't help but reflect carefully on everything as you took in the atmosphere. You trained with the guidance of Crosshair. It was unknown to you if it was for his own pleasure, but as soon as you realized the magnitude of the situation, a smile spread across your face. 

“It was all thanks to you,” You said softly. Even though he riled you up, you were honored that he trained you how to snipe. Crosshair’s sharp demeanor slowly dropped, shocked at your genuine gratitude. When he saw your grin, he didn't know why blood shot to his brain and caused dizziness. It frustrated him as he began to feel overwhelmed. The fact that your enchanting grin was the only thing on his mind just made him angrier.

You held the weapon out for him to take back. He looked down at your hands on his rifle and saw how soft they were in comparison to his. After taking the gun, he broke eye contact and turned around so his back was to you. He chose to dismiss any other possibilities as the source of his condition and put the blame entirely on being ill. Despite his lingering fear that it wasn't what it was.

“Don’t mention it.” Crosshair said sheepishly, struggling to ignore the warm sensation inside his chest.

[hisui-dreamer]

rewrite the stars

Characters: Leona, Azul, Jade, Idia

Synopsis: if the stars say we're not meant to be, then why don't we just rewrite the stars?

Tags: horoscopes, reader is insecure, crack(?), fluff, comfort, not proofread

Word count: 1.4k+

Notes: rewrite the stars got stuck in my head then this idea popped up hehe

Disclaimer: i don't really know a lot about astrology, so most of the things i say are from google searches. in general, take astrology with a grain of salt yeah.

but also my sign and jade's sign are compatible hehehe

Masterlist

it's not easy being confident in love, and sometimes when you get so lost in your fears, you let anyone and anything tell you what you fear to admit, without a care for how truthful those words may be.

truthfully, if you were dead serious and broke up with him, he'd just grumble out a "whatever" and put up the façade that he doesn't care

but he'd actually be so mad at himself for pushing you away and how nothing in his life could ever go smoothly

but your eyes are swollen and tears are threatening to spill as you whisper those words

he silently approaches you, and instinctively reaches to brush your tears away, but his warm, calloused hand only makes you cry harder at how much you love the man before your eyes

he pulls you into his arms and holds you close as you sob into his chest

he doesn't say anything and waits for you to elaborate, there's a part of him that's afraid if he asked you why you wanted to break up with him, he couldn't bear how his own self-hatred

once you've calmed down, you start explaining how you two are incompatible in astrology, that he's a leo so it's easy for miscommunication to happen and other issues that have plagued you since you read about them

he's heard all this make believe astrology personality stuff before, but never before has he been glad of how ridiculous the idea is

you hear leona let out a big sigh, and the tension in his shoulders immediately lessens

pulls away from you to stare deep into your eyes, his face completely serious and solemn

"Herbivore, are you happy with me?" he asks. At you confused face, he repeats the question, his expression unchanging. When you nod firmly, he smiles slightly and asks again. "Then what else matters? As if I would let the souls of the past kings or some random star talk decide who I'm gonna love," he scowls at the idea. He leans forward and rests his forehead against yours. "You're stuck with me now, I'm not lettin' ya go that easily," he whispers.

He pulls you with him as he falls back onto the mattress, cradling you in his arms. "Sleep. You're not a baby anymore so don't go crying yourself to sleep," he teases, but he gently kisses the remainder of your tears away.

azul.exe has stopped functioning

blubbering like a fish out of water (wait...) he's lost and hurt and confused and panicking all at the same time

"w-w-what have i done to upset you angelfish????"

the tweels walk into azuls office just to see the two of you crying and confused, azul trying to ask you why and he's sad and crying, you're stumbling over your words and sniffing and crying

ok after a glass of warm water (thank you jade) the two of you calm down to actually have a proper conversation, though azul is still very obviously tense

you explain that he's a Pisces and that means you two not compatible with how sensitive he is and he's a water sign and so on

azul is very confused about how stars can determine people's personalities, but he does fit the description of a Pisces, and if his beloved Angelfish is stressed over astrology, then it must be a reliable tell (azul no)

he asks for you to give him some time, to actually understand your reasonings and of course, to give him a chance and prove to you how willing he is to work out a relationship with you

the next day, azul visits you with very deep dark eye circles, but the glint in his eyes shows full determination and confidence

azul businessman mode on!

sits you down and pulls up a slideshow

azul ashengrotto is now an astrology expert!

he's determined to show you that you two have maximum compatibility and whatever issues you have? he'll always work them out with you

"Darling, you mentioned our Sun signs yesterday, but I think it's crucial to also discuss our rising, moon, and star signs." He declares as he points to a star chart. "Now, following the calculations of our birth dates and locations..."

An hour later, you sit completely convinced that astrology all but supports your relationship with Azul, and you can't help smile and jump into his arms. Azul, sleep deprived and running on anxiety, somehow manages to not fall over, but soon leans his weight on you. "See? We're perfectly compatible with each other," he murmurs against your ear. His arms wrap around you, squeezing you gently, "so please don't leave me, I wouldn't know what to do without you..."

eyes wide slowly blinking like "... I beg your pardon?"

honestly jade doesn't look that surprised/hurt

but really he's suppressing the turmoil of emotions inside him

ever the logical thinker, he'd ask a calm "May I ask why, my dear?"

and you surprise him again with flowing tears and a trembling voice

though he's listening very patiently as he's diligently wiping away your tears with his handkerchief, soft careful movements to avoid causing discomfort

asks questions when he doesn't understand what in astrology is going on, genuinely making an effort to understand this field of academics

in a sense, he's distracting you from being upset with academic discussion

okay, he's a Scorpio, which makes him good at manipulating people??? and he's very bold??

now while he finds all this very interesting and slightly accurate, it still feels pretty whimsical that the time you're born in determines your personality

particularly as he's so different to Floyd! and they were born at the same time!

whichever the case, the more pressing issue is his dearest lover sniffing and whining that you could never be happy together with how incompatible you are

he pulls you into his chest for a bit, rubbing soothing circles into your back and leaving gentle kisses you until your sniffing quiets down

"Dearest, won't you look at me?" he murmurs against your ear. You look up to see the most tender expression you had ever seen on him, his mismatched eyes filled with warmth and affection.

"While it is indeed extremely unfortunate that our star signs are incompatible, I don't believe there's a single person out there who could love me better than you do," he says as he kisses your hand. "I promise that your happiness will always be my utmost priority, so won't you continue to love this silly eel?"

"Now, while I will always find you enchantingly beautiful, I do believe a smile shines the brightest on my lovely pearl," he smiles while brushing the remaining wetness away from your eyes.

simply put, idia panics immediately

every day he thinks the fates have been far too kind to him for you to even reciprocate his feelings

he's always mentally preparing himself if you want to break up or you need to leave him

so he puts up a brave face when you say you can't be together

but wait... you actually look really upset and on the verge of tears???

"Hold up, why are you the one crying?"

please don't tell him those are tears of joy i think he'd die on the spot

through sobs and sniffs, you tell him that you were curious about your compatibility based on astrology

and okay...? he's a fire sign??? explains the hair

okay so you're telling him, you're breaking up with him solely because you think this thing might be right and not because you hate him, right?

brb gotta blow up some stars

starts mumbling about some plans to build space missiles and blow up some stars that make up his sign or something

he can't be an asparagus(??? idia no it's sagittarius doesn't matter) if the constellation no longer exists, right?

you stop him (thank god) by cupping both of his cheeks to make him stare straight at you

he's flushing up instantly and every fiber of his being yearned to turn away but your teary gaze makes him stop squirming

"You know," he begins, his voice earnest and steady, "everyday, I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. If you're unworthy of me, then I'm unworthy of you."

He lets out a chuckle, that rumble echoing right into your ear. "I suppose I can put those star destroyer blueprints on hold, at least for the time being. But if the stars ever mess with us again, it's game over for them."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[hiddenhearthwitch]

📚 Small Intro To Polytheism📚

One of the most frequent asks I receive is how and where to get started when it comes to polytheism. This is a fairly broad subject and I’ll try to be as general as I can for advice but I will include specific references for Norse polytheists as that’s my shit. This information can be used to help you find a pantheon or to help you pick deities to work with it. If you’d like to use it to pick a patron deity that’s super, if you want to worship 20 gods and not have a patron deity that’s cool too. You do you dude. Please keep in mind this is all reflective of my research and personal practice. 🌻

Picking A Pantheon/Deity

This really boils down to personal preference. You’ll read a lot of posts and books that tell you many different ways and it’s entirely up to you because it is your practice.  That being said, there’s a couple of different ways to go about it. 

Research! This is one of my favorite ways to delve in. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading the stories of multiple pantheons and picking on that calls to you. You can also talk to other devotees and see what they have to say about deities and their religions. It is important to keep in mind that some religions are closed so please do proper research!

For example, I wasn’t originally a Norse pagan. I read some stories and thought the Hellenic pantheon would best suit me. I reached out to Eros for a while but after feeling no real connection to the pantheon I continued my research! After reading up on the Norse pantheon I decided to reach out to them out. Obviously, I fucking loved it because here I am. Point being, you can pick a pantheon based on research and not some divine message or whatever. You are also more than welcome to try out a religion, decide it doesn’t suit you, and move on. 

Divination! You can use runes, a pendulum, tarot, etc.This can go a few different ways. You can write pantheon/deity names on separate pieces of paper, mix them up, and place them face down then ask the pendulum to pick. You can assign a deity/pantheon to each suit of cards or major arcana card or even do the same thing with runes. 

For example, this is how I found a devotion to Frigg and Hel. I asked if there were any deities who were interested in working with me and pulled the runes Hagalaz and Berkana which read as Hel and Frigg to me. I followed up with tarot cards and pulled Death(Hel) plus the Queen of Pentacles(Frigg).

Asking/waiting for a sign. This isn’t something I’ve personally done so I don’t have much to say on the subject. You can go about meditating, praying, doing a ritual, or whatever and essentially wait for a sign after. It can come via a dream, something you experience, symbols you see in your daily life, it’s pretty much up to your intuition to decipher it. If anyone has information they’d like me to add in here please let me know!

If there’s a god you’re curious about and don’t want to do any of the above it’s totally cool to just reach out and ask if they want to work with you. 

Idk How To Research

Same, tbh my keyword search game is weak. Anyways, good portion of us are looking up dead religions with little reliable resources. To give those curious about the Norse an easy head start here’s a compiled list of  books by yours truly(click me!!) . It’s important to take everything with a grain a salt of salt when doing research. In my experience a lot of the retold Norse sagas have been Christianized or written under heavy Wiccan influences. It’s a good idea to do research on the author before reading one of their books.

Other blogs! There are tons of great witches and pagans on tumblr that have information waiting for you. 💗 You can search their blog/tags for good references for books, websites, podcasts, etc. Plus lots of blogs are open to answer asks. If you don’t know where to start for searching it’s best to try things based around your interest like: “norse polytheist”, “hellenic witch”, “gaelic polytheism”, etc.

Media! How lucky are we that we live in the age of technology? Knowledge is right at our fingertips! There are countless documentaries, podcasts, and audiobooks on youtube full of information for different cultures and religions. I’d personally recommend almost anything by BBC, Myths & Legends, and World Mythology!

Books! I love starting on goodreads to find good books and trust worthy authors. They’ve had almost every book I looked up with bunches of different reviews so you can get varying perspectives. Check out your local library as well! A lot of city libraries have online databases now of all of their books so you can “check it out” online and read the PDF(personal fave). 

Feeling Lost Still?

That’s completely reasonable and your feelings are more than valid. It can be overwhelming and lot of information to soak up. Just do your best and take it at your own pace, there’s no rush to find a deity or pantheon. 💞 Below are a few other general concerns I hear a lot that I was hoping to address.

“I’m leaving a monotheistic(Christian, Catholic, Jewish, etc) religion and it’s giving me anxiety.” This is entirely common and almost expected in my opinion. I was raised Roman Catholic and my first year to two looking into polytheism riddled me with anxiety. I was constantly concerned that god would smite me down or I’d face an eternity in hell for worshiping false gods. While I can’t speak for everyone that fear was entirely erased for me when I found my gods. I’ve never felt so safe and strong and hopefully with time you can find the same in your gods!

It’s okay to want to learn more or to seek something more. I can’t tell you how to handle your anxiety but please know you’re not alone in that fear. There’s whole communities out there willing to support you and help you find your safe space(including me)!

“What’s UPG?” You’ll see a lot of posts, mine included, that mention UPG - UPG is Unverified Personal Gnosis. This is essentially someone’s personal thoughts and beliefs about a deity. For example, I associate Sif with hazelnuts. There’s nothing in the lore or any book that says that she likes hazelnuts; that’s just a personal opinion(aka a UPG).

“How do I reach out to the gods?” I have a lot of information on my blog about this topic although a lot of it is Norse specific. You can check out my beginner polytheist tag here and my beginner norse post/ask here.

Altar! This is my go to typically. Altars aren’t limited to the cookie cutter image that comes to mind(no hate though I have a few); one thing you can make a side blog dedicated to your pantheon/deity, make a small one in a tin can, or even make one in a video game like Minecraft or some shit. You can be as creative or as to the book as you want. It’s up to you.

Prayer! You can totally just sit down and be like, “Hey man wanna work on some shit together?”. While I’m not 100% that all gods would be down with you being that casual it’s still something you can try.😂 You can reach out to them by sitting down in a quiet space and meditating into prayer, praying in the car or in the shower, or just pray at the altar you set up if you did. Again, I can not reiterate this enough, it’s your practice, reach out to them as you please.

Do something personal! This is more like devotional work in my opinion. Let’s say you knit and you want to reach out to a creative or domestic deity, you can knit something as a devotional act to them and as a way to reach out. For example I pick up litter in honor of the Vanir and Jörð, or I play Skyrim for Thor and Týr.

Most importantly just be honest and up front with the god that you’re reaching out too. Considering that statement be honest with yourself as well. There’s no point going into a relationship with a god if you can’t be upfront, it’ll end up in nothing but grief.

“Can deities reach out through gods/signs?” They totally can. However, it is up to you and your intuition if a deity has and it’s not likely another witch will decipher that for you. Sounds, experiences, images, all have different meanings to each of us - they may show you something that’s very personal to you but would be mundane to someone else. Trust your instincts. However, please remember that not everything is magical, sometimes a raven is just a raven and not Odin.

✨Take everything you learn with a grain of salt. Including this post.✨

Patreon | Shop | Instagram

[sysmedsaresexist]

We're curious, since you apparently were anti-endo in the past Was there any specific event or conversation or experience that got you to start contemplating the idea you might have been wrong? I know you've mentioned talking to a buncha big name docs and going "okay I think I'm on the wrong side of this debate" but what got you to the point of even bringing it up with them in a genuinely open minded way? We think its an interesting topic for people who've escaped any kind of shithead mindset, not just anti-endo stuff, and so we're oft curious what pulls people out of those pits

This has been a loooonnggggg time coming.

I wish there was just one event that did it, if it was that simple I'd be putting everyone I come into contact with into that situation.

I spoke with Kymbra Clayton in early 2021 about her paper, Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness. It was on a bunch of, "proof endos exist," lists, and it didn't sit right with me. I was surprised to find that she wasn’t... quite anti endo, but she was upset that her work was being used to support them. Her paper was specifically about the shift in clinical circles from final fusion to functional multiplicity as a possible treatment goal. It sort of sent me deeper on the anti side, but it made me realize that, holy crap, I can talk to these people???

So I emailed Colin Ross later that year, desperate to prove someone else wrong, and despite numerous back and forth emails, he was completely pro endo. I never spoke about that conversation until I made my post about it... jeez, what, two weeks ago? What even is time.

But from there, I worked through other doctors, pro and anti, from both my personal, professional circles, and anyone else who would respond to inquiries about their work on whatever social media they were active on. Mostly, as therapists, they stressed the importance of understanding and kindness, regardless of personal beliefs.

I ended up helping a lot of endogenic systems learn about DID, and I realized that, wow, shocking, being nice facilitates conversation. As I got nicer, people were more willing to talk to me about their experiences. I saw how many people were really struggling and I realized that I wanted to help them more than I wanted to be right.

I got REALLY goddamn tired of hearing, "we don't have DID," and I realized I had to concede on that point. There was ZERO conversation to be had if I couldn't get my head around that. But if not DID, then what?

The more I heard, the more I shaped my own thoughts and understanding, the more I broadened my academic searches (wow, there's more terms to Google than just "DID trauma"), and the research was just overwhelming.

I wanted so badly to see the Stanford Tulpa studies fail that I actually started to enjoy the other work of the doctors involved (specifically Tanya Luhrmann, Michael Lifshitz is a little out there for me, but he sure is passionate). The more I read, the more I understood what they were hoping to accomplish and prove, and the more I saw ways that this kind of research can help people.

I don't agree with everything, but I'm still excited to see where it goes, and I realized it's okay to have mixed feelings and opinions, as long as I could be respectful about it.

I've been sneaking out endo safe content for about a year now, adding it on as the last tags. I've discussed at length about my changing beliefs. I'm shocked that no one noticed??

But I didn't actually change my stance publicly until the antis turned on me.

With this new round of antis from TikTok, they were posting stuff about DID that wasn't correct. At all. Some of it was disgustingly wrong. I tried to correct them, gave them pointers and resources to use, explained things they weren't understanding. I gave an amazing play by play of how @sophieinwonderland was going to tear their post apart, and managed to get it pretty damn close to what actually happened! That was fun.

And in return, they called me an endo and started an actual smear campaign against me.

(Hi, friendos, another reminder to get off my blogs and block me, please)

It was the straw that broke the back. I had held on the anti label specifically to be able to work within the anti community, but I was clearly not anti, these were clearly not my people, and they weren't interested in learning. Their actions and behaviour were beyond low. I wanted nothing to do with them.

But, I mean, I guess some people noticed my slow shift, because when I did reach out into the endo community just before I made my first Colin Ross post, they were quick to pull me in without question.

The acceptance and kindness that has been shown to me is... breathtaking. I can't think of a better word. The conversations that I've been having with people have been more interesting and beneficial than ever before.

Syscourse needs to involve actual conversation, and I've finally found that on the pro side.

TL;dr I wanted to prove endos wrong SO badly that I accidentally proved them right

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hello Darling

Summary: Tiriel desperately searches for Astarion as he loses his immunity to sunlight.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship, f!tav, patch 6 update

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

The burn left from the fight and dulled by the tadpole pierces  Tiriel’s stomach and she falls to her knees, paralyzed by the pain.

 It's over.

The tadpole is gone. She is free. She will never become a mind flayer, she will never have to face  that blasted dream visitor. 

Then, she hears the scream. It's a cry of pain, of despair, familiar and shocking.

Astarion is burning in the sunlight.

His beautiful face is gray like ash, his eyes white as if he were blind. Astarion reaches out his hand for Tiriel as if she could save him from  this peril. She has saved him so many times, she can do it again!

But her own pain pierces her body. Tiriel presses her arms to her stomach. She is going to die, she thinks. They both are.

"Astarion, hide!" someone cries out, and Tiriel loses consciousness.

The blissful darkness takes her.

No nightmares, no horrors, no dream visitors. Nothing. Just beautiful nothingness.

She wakes up in a dimly lit room. Her head hurts as if her skull had been crushed by a hammer. She is half naked, her belly heavily bandaged. The throat is sore and her legs are numb.

Tiriel is so exhausted she could sleep for a few weeks.

Four months of non stop traveling. Of fear, anxiety, and never ending stress. Tiriel had never had to make so many decisions in her life. Excusing orders, negotiating, and planning. She is just a lonely traveler, for fuck sake, not a warlady!

And now she can just rest.

The memories slowly crawl into her head and she remembers Astarion’s desperate cry.

A wave of panic  crushes her.

Where is he?!

Tiriel’s only known him for four months, but she is sure they were meant to meet each other. She had never loved anyone before him. His cold body, his pale skin, his sharp mind, his… radiant hope. 

What if he died?

Tiriel makes herself sit up. The idea that her love turned into ashes horrifies her. He was in such pain, he was so afraid. What if he is gone?

Life is truly unfair, isn’t it?

It couldn’t end well. No happily “ever after” for the undead.

Tiriel makes an effort to calm herself down. There are many places to hide. Basements, houses, debris… The whole city is in ruins, he has enough shadow to hide in…

The other realization makes her sick.

Sunlight isn’t his only enemy anymore. He also can’t go inside without an invitation.

He could have burned down in front of the open door to the darkest room in Baldur’s Gate because no one invited him in!

Still dizzy, Tiriel puts on her camp clothes (no need to attract unnecessary attention with her shiny Drow armor) and rushes outside the inn.

The city has been truly destroyed by the Netherbrain, and whatever future lies ahead Baldur’s Gate will never be the same. 

Tiriel wanders the street for hours—she visits the graveyard, the ruins of the vampire lord’s mansion, dozens of places but  Astarion is nowhere to be seen.

He’s known the city for centuries. Tiriel, whose first impression of the city was ruined by the mind flayers, stands no chance of finding the vampire.

By the end of the night, she feels like a lost child. Tiriel hasn’t felt so miserable since the day she woke up in the mountains all alone and cold. She was fifteen, and her rage blurred her mind making her run away from an abusive household. She wanted to go back, to the warmth of the house, to sit by the fireplace even if her stepfather would have beaten her again. To just be somewhere she belongs, not in the middle of nowhere with no weapons or armor.

The sun is slowly rising above the sea and the skies slowly turn blue. Tiriel sniffs. She's gotten too used to NOT being alone, a very unfamiliar concept to be honest. 

Well, if Astarion isn’t back, if she fails to find him, she will have to go. This city makes her sick, it’s too big, too dirty, too crowded. She will walk the roads of Faerun just like she has ever since she was fifteen. The memories will fade and she will probably question why she fell for Astarion in the first place. He is a difficult person, traumatized, angry, his bruises and wounds are invisible to anyone, and the facade of lies is inseparable from his personality.

Tiriel’s heart sinks at the very thought she might not ever see him again.

A tear flows down her cheek and she immediately wipes it away. She is a warrior. A barbarian. No one must see her cry or in pain. Women like her are alive as long as people perceive them as emotionless marble statues. Weakness turns people like her into victims.

But it felt so nice to be weak in Astarion’s arms. To let him tend her wounds, to cry in his arms… He would never admit it, but she knew he loved protecting her.

The night search exhausts Tiriel and she returns to her room in the inn. The warrior locks the door — she doesn’t want to deal with intruders —and falls on the bed, pressing her face against the pillow.

Astarion is gone. If he is alive, she will never find him. If he is dead, she will never bury him. In any case, Tiriel the Barbarian is on her own again.

She  makes herself a promise not to fall for anyone ever again.

When she wakes up hours later, her head doesn’t ache anymore and her whole body feels rested. 

“Hello darling”

She startles at the familiar voice.

Astarion lies beside her, with the palm of his hand under his cheek. His eyes are soft and tender and he has the stupidest smile shining on his face.

“You…” she gasps. “You are back!”

“Of course I am”, Astarion leans to her and kisses her forehead, and then rests his head on the pillow. “You are so adorable when you sleep.”

“I thought you died,” she whispers. “Where were you?”

Astarion touches her cheek. “I was hiding.”

“But you could have returned to the inn once the night fell! I was looking for you!”

His face darkens. “It’s because of hunger. It…blurred my mind. The sun damaged me and once I got to the shadow I was starving and just forgot everything. Who I was, who you were. I fed on… something… I don’t remember what and my mind returned to me. And I was so embarrassed by what I truly am and was afraid to come back”

“But you did.”

“I did.”

They lay in silence contemplating each other’s faces. Tiriel's heart melts at how adorable he looks. He doesn’t pretend, doesn't play, doesn’t act. That’s him, that’s the real him. Hidden and concealed for two hundred years.

“How did you get inside?” she asks. “This isn’t the room we lived in. I thought you needed an invitation?”

Astarion shrugs. “I do need to be invited if I don't want to bump into an invisible wall I can’t go through. When I picked the lock I was sure I would just stand there unable to enter. But apparently… I was invited anyway.”

Tiriel nuzzles his collarbone and wraps her arms around him.

“Tiriel?”

“Hm?”

“You aren’t going to… break up with me, right?”

His voice sounds so helpless and vulnerable that it makes Tiriel hug him tighter. 

“Of course not.”

He cups her cheeks and kisses her. Tiriel leans to him pressing their bodies against each other.

Then Astarion starts talking.

He speaks about freedom, the future, the places they may visit, and things they can do.

“Tiriel”

“What is it, my love?”

“I need to… rest. Can you stay by my side until I wake up?”

Tiriel kisses the tip of his nose. “Sure. I will be right there.”

Astarion buries his nose in her chest, and Tiriel lulls him to his trance.

As she promised, she doesn’t go anywhere. Time to time she moves a bit not to let her limbs stiff.

Then, she notices Astarion slowly waking up. His eyelids are half-open, his mouth cracks a smile. Tiriel draws an invisible line along his nose.

“Hello, darling,” she whispers to him.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen

[genacity]

⌗ halloween special! you poor thing.

cw. ꒦꒷ dom! reader x sub! ghostface! amab! character. gender neutral. dom to sub themes. breaking and entering — unrealistic scenarios. ass eating, anal fingering, spanking, degradation, dacryphilia. could be considered dubcon, but both parties do give consent. plot before porn, no specific character. not proofread.

an. ꒦꒷ happy halloween! 👻 thanks 4 tuning in… very odd layout, i know!!! but special moments call for special layouts!!! this fanfiction was originally going to be written w/ itto as ghostface, but i decided it would be better if i just let ur nasty imaginations run wild with whoever you want lmfao 🫶🏼 i kinda like the photo w the divider though!! may add it to all of my fics 🤭 sending love to all of my halloween fanatics, and to everyone who doesn’t celebrate??? pretend its the purge!!! /hj 😁 IM GETTING DISTRACTED LMAO ENJOY THE FIC!!

october 31. 9:31 pm.

snug in your favorite pair of sweatpants with a bag of candy beside you from tagging alongside your niece and some of the neighborhood kids as a chaperone to their vigorous session of trick or treating. they had roped you into the fun and torn the pillowcase off their pillows to offer you as your sweet-hauling sack for the night — you had ended up taking some girl’s pink unicorn pillowcase, in which she happily handed over with a toothless smile and a loud giggle.

safe to say, your niece began the night screaming as you had ultimately “betrayed her” for not choosing hers.

it ended up being quite fun, the roundabout, even better you had a whole two armfuls of free candy all to yourself. with your favorite halloween movies on your computer and your fairy lights illuminating your bedroom, you were sure nothing could ruin your night.

except the echo of a shatter.

“the hell…?” you murmur, pausing your movie. the sound of glass breaking downstairs catches your attention. it doesn’t sound like the usual glass cup, but more like a window or a door. “oh fuck.”

your heart skips a beat as you hear footsteps echoing through the hallway. your breath catches in your throat and you spring up to grab the nearest thing you can use as a weapon — luckily for you was a bat from your childhood. good thing you had a strong arm. or else you might as well have prayed to die from shock.

you slowly crack the door open and grip your bat, lingering outside of your door. your heartbeat was loud in your ears, eyes darting around, searching for any threat. you decide to stray a bit farther, silence following behind what was left of the echo of the intruder’s footsteps. you squeezed your eyes shut, praying it was a fat raccoon, hell, even a bear. anything that you had a chance against.

fear enveloped you like a cold blanket. quiet and frightening. you listened for a sign of anything, anyone. yet the only sound left was the remainder of trick or treaters and the few rumbling of cars down the road. your fingered trembled alongside your spine — you felt like you were going to drop onto the floor and pass out at any time.

the footsteps erupted from the darkness again. this time, they sounded closer. you turned around quickly and backed up against the closet door behind you, the sound of your labored breathing in your ears like headphones playing a song with the sound on the highest setting. you could hear yourself swallowing thickly as you looked around in raw fear, praying silently to whatever god that could hear you that the invader would think no one is home and just leave.

you finally decided to go and find the person yourself. fucking outrageous idea, yes, but if they wouldn’t leave, you’d have to make them. you forced your feet forwards and kept your head up as you made your way to the kitchen. the footsteps stopped abruptly, making you hold your breath in fear.

“who’s there?” you ask with a shaky breath. you grip the bat so hard your knuckles nearly blanched. you could feel the old wood splintering under your grasp, small pieces of wood poking into your palms. but the pain was nothing compared to the fear looming above you like a dark cloud, waiting to strike you down.

your question meets cool silence. but it only makes your shoulders tense. maybe you were just dreaming. maybe this isn’t real. thoughts swarm your head as your breathing becomes shakier, a gruff chuckle interrupts your thoughts out of the blue.

shit, shit, oh shit. your hands begin to quiver as the voice pools right next to your ear, like fear coming to greet you. you couldn’t see them, it was too dark — yet they were right on the other side of this wall. yet you couldn’t cry and give up, you had to do something. you vowed to never let anyone fuck you over, and especially not like this.

“you should never say 'who’s there?' don’t you watch scary movies?” the voice stirred. your shouldered stiffened as all of the strength in your fingers threatened to give out and drop your weapon. “it’s a death wish. might ‘s well come out now.”

you took note of where you stood. the kitchen counter was just next to the entrance of the kitchen where you currently were — maybe you could push them against it, render them immobile. anything to get you the upper hand; there was no way you could sit here, weak in the knees. weak in the knees?

you kept your mouth shut as you held the bat firmly, struggling not to let your trembling fingers give your position away, even if it was painfully obvious where you were. the stranger sighed, making you shiver — it was almost if their breath was right up against your neck, lingering by your ear. you two were mere moments away from one another, both not planning to move.

“well, if you won’t move,” they droned. “i suppose i will.”

in one quick motion, the intruder turned the corner and pinned you against the wall in which you stood, revealing the cloaked figure that has been tormenting you so calmly for the past half an hour. you screamed, nearly dropping your bat at how fast they had moved to catch you. you were frozen in fear. and you hated it.

“oh, dear.” they mused, leaning into your face. their arm was just level to your skull — where you realized they had driven a hooked blade into your wall, only inches away from your head. you could hear yourself breathing shakily as you straightened your posture, attempting to seem more menacing.

you were face to face with a mask. a long, ghostly face; one with droopy black eyes and an empty, sullen mouth shaped as if melting off the formation of its skull — the sullen feeling of distress and pain apparent in its face.

“oh, darling,” the voice behind the mask made your legs shake. “why so scared? ‘m only here to say hello.” they took your chin in their hand and tutted it in their direction.

you nearly went numb in fear as the hooded figure chuckled lowly. “so much occupied space between us — i’d rather fill it up with something more — interesting.” their fingers ghsoted your skin as they traveled up the wooden bat to the top, persuading you to let go. but as you stood, quivering in fear, they slipped the bat out of your hands and threw it to the ground with a large clatter.

“much better.” they said, the slight smirk evident in their tone. “i saw you trying to catch up to those kids you were chasing. babysitting, perhaps? i didn’t see any children around here,” the ghost-faced stranger pondered, looking around for any sight of a stubby toddler down the hallway. as soon as they were sure you weren’t someone’s parent — their attention turned back to you.

“you looked so stressed out there,” they cooed, their tone making your blood boil. “mind letting me help you out?” you gasped as the hand that was once propping your chin up slid down to grip your shoulder. “you don’t fucking know me.” you snarled. “i’ll fuck you up.”

the masked intruder laughed at your advances, making you all the angrier. “oh, how i would adore seeing you try.” they leaned in, the ghostly mask now only inches away from your face. “i bet your pretty head is full of ideas. god, now you’ve got me all excited.”

you scoffed. “i bet.” you reached out and index finger to point out the tent in their tunic. “now, will you let me handle you or not?”

this was a stupid idea — fucking some rando who just broke into your house at 9 pm on halloween? what the fuck kind of idea is that? but they were right, you were pent up — and after all of that candy, you surely weren’t going to sleep for a good few hours.

the stranger hummed, inching away from your face. “might as well. your efforts will be wasted anyway.”

you wasted no time grabbing them by the waist and flipping them around, slamming their back into the wall. you felt down their body as the cloaked one gasped, your hands trailing from their hips to their inner thigh as you hoisted the material up.

“no underwear, hm?” you said as you were met immediately with the burglar’s hard cock. they chuckled breathily as you made quick work of your hands, wrapping them around their dick as you stroked them up and down. “so b-boring,” the masked thief stuttered. “c’mon, hurry up and get to the good part.”

you rolled your eyes — what a needy whore. “shut up ‘n take what i give you. either that or i can call the cops.” they sigh shakily as you speed up your pace, thumbing their dripping tip as the invader’s breaths get more erratic. their fingers dig into the wall behind them, feeling around for some type of leverage good enough to keep them stable. little whines slipped from their lips as they bucked into your hand, making you laugh and push away.

“you’re so easy,” you tease, watching as the person behind the mask whimpered and turned their head to look at you. “and here you were, talking so fucking big. i should just leave your sorry ass here and call the police.”

they sucked their teeth as you dipped down onto your knees. “oh? are you giving up?” you scoffed as you prodded at their slightly shaky knees. “hold up your fucking shit and shut up and turn around. i want to get this done quickly before something else gets into my house through whatever entry you got in from.” you pushed the bottom half of the tunic into their hands as they turned sheepishly to face the wall. “why?”

“you said “get to the good part”. so i am. are you questioning me?” you asked. the person shook their head slowly as you nodded. “good. now stay still.”

your hands gripped the back of their thighs as you pushed your head in between their ass. they yelped, your hot breath against their fluttering hole making them shiver. “wait, what are you doing down — fuck!”

they gasped loudly as your tongue began to lap slowly at their rim, hands spreading their asscheeks apart to gain better access. your tongue worked skillfully around their hole, making the anonymous criminal drop their costume and push their hands into the wall.

“the hell did i say?” the stranger whined at your tone. “i — i don’t — i don’t know!” they sniffled, making you tsk at their pathetic pleads. your head swam freely with ideas of what you’d do to them for punishment — but you didn’t have anything on you. so a nice spank would suffice.

you lifted your hand from their ass and brought it back down forcefully, causing the cloaked person to sob (and arch their back a lil too 😏). “i just said it a few minutes ago. hold up your fucking shit.” you demanded. their left hand moved quickly to hold up the bottom of their tunic again. once they felt your sigh on approval against their hole again, they sniffled and squeezed their eyes shut under the mask as you continued to ravage their ass.

from sheepish whimpers to loud moans, this poor puppy was proven to be all bark and absolutely no bite. “even beneath a mask, you’re still just a little bitch.” you laughed meanly against their hole as your fingers roamed from spreading their ass to accompanying your tongue by their rim. “i — i uhm — fuck, i—” they squealed, the feeling of your fingertips lingering against their wet hole making their legs quiver. “wait, no, are you gonna — i can’t, ‘m gonna cum!”

you snickered again as your tongue pushed through their barrier just a bit, milking another shocked whine from their mouth. “i think you can handle it, don’t you think? it’ll feel even better than just my mouth.” you broke away from their leaking ass as shaky breaths followed your words. your heart skipped an extra beat as you saw their head completely crashed downwards, staring at the space in between their legs. the masked stranger let out a quivering exhale as they nodded weakly. “i want it in. put your finger in me. please?”

and that was all of the clearance you needed. you pressed your face back into their ass as you continued to eat it out. your fingers pushed through the crowd underneath as you slowly eased it in beside your tongue. “fu — fuck!” they moaned, throwing their head back as their fingers gripped around the black material of their robe. “good, good — more, please, want you deeper!”

“‘m sorry for breaking in — s-so good — i uhm, i jus’ — fuck..!” you ignored how awful that first part sounded as you quickened your pace and thrusted your finger inside of the ghost-masked intruder, feeling them slipping from their position as their back arched further into you. you could tell they were about to cum. legs shaking, knees buckling — all of the signs stuck out like a bright lantern in the dead of night.

if it wasn’t halloween and kids weren’t still yelling outside, the way this bitch moaned surely would have gotten the cops called for you. “please don’t stop, ‘m gonna cum — wanna cum for you, all for you, jus’ please don’t stop fuckin’ me!”

even if you were lockjawed and your wrist was about to give out, you sped up your pace just to hear those pathetic squeals and pleas — they would be of your name. if your poor puppy knew it in the first place. “can i cum? please lemme cum! so close, i’m so fuckin’ close!” you sighed into their hole, making them shiver once again. “fine. but only because you asked nicely.”

all they needed was “fine” — not like they could hear anything else. they were far too busy screaming and nutting all over your fucking wall to hear what else you had to say. hell, the damn bitch came so much you might as well paint your wall white!!! 🙄 their last spurts of cum shot out all over your floor as their legs finally gave out on them, causing them to drop to their knees and sink onto the ground. you came up behind them and pulled them up onto you so that they leaned against you on the floor.

“so, stranger,” you inquired softly and slowly so that their mushy brain could comprehend your words. “what should i call you?”

they looked up through the falling eyes of the ghostly mask that covered their face.

“ghostface. you — you can call me ghostface.”

THE SMUT WAS SO RUSHED OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH WORSE THAN I WANTED IT TO I’M GONNA

ok hapy halloween

[jeankluv]

Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 09

Words: 4,3K

Summary: You didn't like him, at all. But due to your bad luck you would have to be forced to work with him and different circumstances end up leading you to the fact that perhaps the word dislike is not the one you would use to describe him.

ac: _3aem

Tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball

Notes: we are getting into business with this new chapter. I haven’t written almost anything during the whole week, I was busy studying but hopefully I can finish the chapter I was writing and start with the new one. I’m so excited for all of you to read the next few chapters.

Before you read the chapter: i know this post will be seen by a lot of people and I wanted to share this gofoundme link, she is my moot on twt, her name is Noor and she is trying to evacuate her and her family from Gaza and she is still trying to raise money. I know not everyone can donate but if you can rt and share it’s very useful. Thank you ❤️

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

Pinteres board || Birdie playlist || ao3

“Fuck me.”

You opened your eyes in surprise after hearing your best friend’s words.

“Sorry.” She covered her mouth. “But Jesus! You look so freaking hot.” She looked up and down several times.

“You think so?” You looked at yourself back in the mirror.

Kyoko nodded. “That red dress looks breathtaking on you. And your breasts look just so good with it and please tell me you are wearing the high boots.” She said looking around, searching for your boots.

“Yes.” You smiled.

“My femme fatale girl.” She joked. “Girl, I’m afraid I might come back home alone.” She cried.

“Pfff.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m not the one who has a boyfriend, you are!” You pointed at her. “I will probably be the one coming back home alone because you will be too busy with your lovely boyfriend.”

“C’mon girl, when was the last time you hooked up with someone, just anyone.” Kyoko said while stealing one of your lipsticks.

You felt silent, trying to think when was the last time you hooked up with someone. Last year’s New Year’s party? No you were working at the bar, so was two years ago with that guy?

“Oh god!” Kyoko gasped. “You don’t even remember it!”

“Shut up!” You took away your lipstick. “I was busy working and studying. I couldn’t go parting.”

“That’s why.” She positioned herself behind you. “Tonight, you will hooked up with someone.”

“Kyoko…”

“C’mon! The entire basketball team will be there.” She winked at you. “Satoru will be there.” She dropped it.

You tried to ignore the growing feeling on your chest. “And what about it?” You said with no emotion on your voice.

“What? You are going to tell me, that now you don’t dislike him, you haven’t imagine yourself hooking up with him.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “No I haven’t.” That idea hasn’t crossed your mind. Yet.

“Whatever, but there are a lot of hot guys in the team. But the hottest is already taken and it’s mine.” She joked. “Oh…” She gasped. “Probably the hot guy, the one you used to crush on, the one with the face tattoo and piercings will be there, he is also part of the basketball.”

“That was back when we were in our first year.” You snorted. “And besides, I think he has a girlfriend.”

Kyoko grimaced and sat on your bed while you finished making the final arrangements. You had to say it, you looked hot tonight.

At first you were doubtful about going out, because you didn’t feel like it. But you were young, you were having an extra free day and you nailed your exam, although you still didn’t know your score. But it was going to be good.

You turned around and looked at your best friend with a huge smile on your face.

“Ready?”

“Absolutely!” She screamed and held your arm.

Exiting your room, you exchanged polite farewells with Kyoko's parents before stepping out into the cool night air. There, standing by the front gate, was Suguru, patiently waiting for both of you.

Kyoko let go of your arm, her demeanor shifted, and she moved swiftly into Suguru's awaiting embrace. She leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness as you watched the intimate moment that they were sharing. You put on a smile and greeted Suguru warmly, acknowledging his presence with a nod. You sat in the back seat, while Kyoko sat next to Suguru in the front seats.

During the trip, the three of you talked about various topics, creating an atmosphere of fluid conversation that never made you feel out of place, as if you were holding the candles.

You couldn't help but notice how Kyoko was watching Suguru with bright eyes and a radiant smile on her face. Seeing her like this only filled your heart with warmth and joy.

In love, reciprocity was comforting, but when only one loved, the result was heartbreaking for those left longing.

Have you experienced love? Maybe, if you could call it that. At fifteen, your understanding of love was as ephemeral as the changes of the seasons, based mainly on the representations of movies, series, and books you found in the library.

At that age, you embarked on a relationship that lasted almost a year with a boy from your town. He was two years older than you, knew much more than you and was more experienced. However, as quickly as it began, what you could feel for him faded, now with the years that had passed, you were aware that for him you had only been a whim and for you he had been an exciting moment at that stage. Dating someone older had sounded exciting, but nothing could be further from the truth.

But life hit you in the face, once again, when you were sixteen years old and the idea of ​​love was pushed aside. The last thing you wanted was to tie yourself to another in the middle of the chaos of your life.

After that relationship you had had one or another, more like attempts at relationships. In fact, when you were in first grade, Kyoko forced you to go on more than one blind date. I wanted to go on a double date one day.

But after breaking up with the prick he stopped insisting and you were never interested again. So the last time you had made out with someone, it had been during the New Year's Eve party two years ago. After that your life had been too hectic to have time.

Suguru parked the car in the crowded parking lot and the three of you stepped out of the vehicle into the bustle of the night. As you adjusted your dress, you looked at the happy couple, Kyoko and Suguru, who were arm in arm, radiating joy.

Kyoko caught your attention and made a playful gesture with her hand, motioning for you to join them in walking hand in hand towards the nightclub. His smile was contagious.

You took a moment to compose yourself, then offered a smile in return, nodding slightly as you closed the distance and linked arms with Kyoko. Then, the three of you headed towards the club where the basketball team had agreed to meet.

“I think I haven’t told you.” Kyoko said to your ear. “Shoko is coming tonight too.”

“For real? That’s great, she is nice.” You smiled. “I just hope you two don’t end up like last time.” Kyoko blushed a little bit.

“It was a one time thing.” She defended herself with a pout.

"Yes, but the one who had to drag your drunk asses around the house was me." You stuck your tongue out at him.

"Shoko and I will make it up to you, we'll invite you." Kyoko said still without erasing the pout from her lips.

"It's the least I hope for." You said jokingly.

“Girls, we are here.” Suguru spoke, moving his head towards the club.

You entered the club, being welcomed by the heat of the place and the music at full volume. Suguru began to greet his teammates, most of them were faces you recognized from the game you had attended, but others were new faces.

“Suguru!!” You heard the voice of the person, who had been embedded in your brain for some time.

He appeared in the crowd, with a smile on his face and a glass in one of his hands. He was wearing a suit, just like that time he showed up at your work, but this one wasn't as elegant, it was more casual. His shirt was unbuttoned, revealing part of his chest.

You wondered if it was his doing to unbutton those buttons or if he had already been having a good time with someone before you arrived. Maybe with that girl from that time.

You turned your head away from where he was and cursed yourself for thinking that.

“Hey Satoru.” Your best friend spoke.

“Oh girls!” He said happily. “You are here too.” You felt him approaching you. Shit.” Hey birdie, you are not going to say hi to me?” You were looking away from him.

You slowly turned to look at him and put on your best smile. “Hi Satoru.”

Satoru stared at you in silence, for longer than you thought he would. You could see his Adam apple moving up and down, as if he was trying to regain composure with that movement.

You smirked to yourself knowing it was the perfect opportunity to tease him. “What Satoru the cat got your tongue?” Placing a hand on your waist you spoke again. “Or I look so hot that you forgot how to speak?”

He closed his mouth, which was slightly opened and a small smile draw on his lips. “Yeah birdie, you look so freaking hot that I forgot how to breathe for a moment.”

Shit.

You should have prepared yourself knowing what Satoru Gojo was like and that he could come up with something like that. But damn, you loved it.

Trying to suppress the restless rise and fall of your pulse and chest, agitated by the impact his words and that hoarse voice had had on you, you forced a smile. You smiled as if it didn't matter, as if her words hadn't unleashed a whirlwind of emotions inside you.

But the reality was very different. Satoru's words had ignited a storm inside you, swirling with a tumultuous mix of feelings that you struggled to contain. Despite your best efforts to appear unaffected, the turmoil it had caused remained beneath the surface, threatening to erupt like a volcano.

You took a deep breath. Would it be that night? The night you'd finally accept something you'd been trying to suppress for weeks? Or would you just let it go and lock it in the deepest drawer?

Satoru Gojo pov

Satoru felt like his legs might give out beneath him, which is why he had held them steady when he saw you.

His gaze first saw his best friend Suguru, then Kyoko, and finally his eyes landed on you. And damn it. The word beautiful was not enough to describe you that night.

Seeing you in that red dress, accentuating every curve of your figure, along with those impressive high boots, took his breath away. Satoru felt helpless in the presence of your beauty, and tonight he knew he would be at his weakest point.

Unbeknownst to you, just like you, Satoru Gojo's insides were a whirlwind of emotions, he was reeling, overwhelmed by the sheer magnetism you exuded. He knew that tonight he would be at your mercy, completely captivated by just your presence.

“You want a drink?” He spoke pointing at the bar behind him.

“Yeah, sure.” You walked besides him. “I though you didn’t drink.”

Satoru looked at his cup. “It’s mainly soda with a bit of alcohol, but only from time to time. I am not a big fan of alcohol.” You nodded and turned to ask for a drink. “It’s good you came.” He got closer so you could hear him.

“And why it’s that?” You smirked, grabbing your straw and taking a small sip. “You would miss me if I didn’t come?”

Yes. But he was unable to say it out loud. “You deserve a break from all the stress.”

“That includes you.” You said teasing him.

“Don’t be bad birdie. I know you love me.” He joked but he secretly longed for it.

“Nah.” You shook your head , you approached his ear to speak to him. “When they called your name and then mine for the project I seriously considered leaving class.” Satoru felt offended by your words, did you hate him that much? “But now my dislike for you has gone from 95% to 35%.”

“A 35%?” He opened his eyes.

“There are times I want to kick your ass so badly.” You shrugged and sipped at the straw again. “You should be glad it went from 95 to 35.”

“Of course it went down, with this face.”

“Now it’s 37%” You said while rolling your eyes.

“Ouch.” He touched his chest as if it hurt his feelings. “Anyways, birdie, let me introduce you to some of our teammates.”

Satoru hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether he should reach out and take your hand. It wouldn't be the first time he did it, but this moment would be different. The last time he held your hand, at the lake, you were on the verge of tears, almost having a panic attack. Now, at this party, you were both having fun.

He looked at your hand and then back at your face, noticing the confused expression as you wondered what he was doing. Gathering all the courage he could muster, Satoru decided to act. He gently took your hand and led you in front of him to where his teammates were gathered.

As he led you through the crowd, Satoru's heart raced with a mix of excitement and nervousness. His hands were sweating and he prayed that you wouldn't notice.

Upon reaching his teammates, Satoru gave you a small squeeze and placed you next to him, still holding onto his hand.

“Guys!” Satoru's voice echoed in the space where the team was, causing the curious gaze of his teammates to rest on him and also on you. “She is…” Satoru said your name pointing his hand at you. His companions then began to murmur under their breath while his gaze remained glued to you.

“Captain! Is she your girlfriend?” Satoru swallowed hard and controlled himself so that a crimson red wouldn't stain his cheeks.

“No Yuji, she is not.” Satoru responded a bit irritated.

“Do you really think Captain Gojo would be able to get a girlfriend?” The vein on Satoru's forehead began to swell. It had definitely been a bad idea bringing you to meet these brats.

“Megumi…” Satoru snorted through his nose. “Don't pass or you'll be on the bench next week.” To which Megumi responded by turning around and sitting in one of the back chairs, without giving it any importance.

“I’m Yuji!” Yuji approached you with a smile.

“Nice to meet you Yuji.” You said finally letting Satoru’s hand go.

“You should meet the others too!” He said. “This is my first year in the team, well I just started college, but everyone is very nice.”

“Is Satoru nice too?” Satoru felt a small blush on his cheeks again after hearing you ask that question. “If you want we can get away from him and then you can criticize him.” You joked and Satoru smirked.

“Oh no, no.” Yuji shook his head. “Captain Gojo is truly an amazing player and amazing captain! I’m glad he is my mentor.” He widely smiled.

“Oh impressive Satoru.” You said looking at him.

Satoru shrugged and smiled. “What can I say, I'm the best.”

“You’re the best.” You said at the same time laughing.

“Captain…” A deep voice talked behind both of you, you lifted your head to be met with a tall blonde guy.

Oh Haibara’s friend.

“Nanami!!” Satoru happily shouted, to which Nanami reacted rolling his eyes. “Birdie, this is Nanami.” He pointed at him.

“Nice to meet you.” Nanami did a small bow.

“You are Haibara’s friend right?” He nodded. “I saw you a couple of times outside the store waiting for him.”

“You work with Haibara?” You nodded. “Oh so you’re the super nice coworker he always talks about.”

“I guess so.” You smiled. “You also play on the basketball team?” You tilted your head.

“Unfortunately.” You looked at him confused for his response. “Captain Gojo is a pain in my ass most of the time.”

“I understand what you mean.” You laugh recalling how you had Satoru saved on your phone.

Satoru coughed sharply causing you both to turn to look at him. “I think that's enough for today, Nanami, why don't you go get some drinks? I want the same thing as always, okay?” He said as he pushed Nanami away.

“Satoru, why was that?” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

Satoru rolled his eyes again. “It’s just that…” But the sentence was left in the air when Shoko’s voice sounded louder than his, calling your name.

“I finally found you.” She hugged you, resting her head on your shoulder.

“Shoko!” You said as you moved away a little. “You already drank something?”

“Just a shot. I’m okay, I swear.” She raised her hands. “Now come with me, Kyoko and Yuki are waiting for us to dance.”

“Yuki?” You said confused.

“I will introduce you now. Now let’s go!” She started pulling you. “Let's leave these idiots here.”

Taking one last glance at Satoru and offering a small smile, you bowed your head before disappearing into the bustling crowd of people. Satoru watched you leave, a slight smile on his lips, before exhaling heavily through his mouth.

He walked over to the couch where Megumi was sitting and sank down next to him. Leaning back against the backrest, Satoru looked up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts.

“Captain Gojo, you seem distressed.” He heard Megumi talking.

“It’s nothing, kid.” He shook his head. “And by the way how come you are here? You usually hate this type of place.”

Megumi sighed heavily. “That idiot brought me here.” He pointed at Yuji who was now grabbing snacks from a nearby table.

Satoru opened his mouth in o shaped form and nodded. “You two are really close aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” Megumi inquired with a nervous look.

“Nothing. I mean if you two are close in that type of way then it’s fine by me. And if anyone in the team says something inappropriate, make sure to tell me. I will handle it.” Satoru explained.

Megumi stood up. “Thank you captain, but it’s okay… we are okay.” Satoru noticed the small blush on Megumi’s cheeks and smiled as he walked away to where Yuji was.

Satoru looked around the place and spotted you on the dance floor. He watched you from the side, he observed you as you danced and laughed with Kyoko, Shoko and who he guessed was Yuki, the one Shoko mentioned before. It was rare to see you so carefree, and he couldn't help but feel his chest swell with happiness at the sight.

As you moved gracefully on the dance floor, your laughter filled the air and Satoru found himself captivated by the joy that radiated from you. He couldn't look away from you, mesmerized by the way you moved, the way you laughed, the way you simply existed in that moment. It was as if the world disappeared into the background, leaving only you.

He looked at his drink and his thoughts returned to the conversation he had with Suguru last week. It had been a jolt of reality, to say the least.

Satoru had come face to face with the truth: the feelings he harbored towards you had been there for a long time. It wasn't a simple crush; he was deeper than that. The weeks of interaction had only intensified his emotions, revealing a deep feeling he had rarely experienced.

Reflecting on it now, Satoru realized that he had been in love with you long before he fully acknowledged it. He had fallen in love with you from a distance, watching how you interacted with others, listening to what people said about you, and admiring your dedication and diligence.

It was a realization that excited him and at the same time made him nervous. Satoru was used to being confident and self-assured, but when it came to matters of the heart, he found himself navigating uncharted territory. If he had had girlfriends, he had dated different people, but on the vast majority of occasions he had been without any deeper interest.

Sighing he looked back at your figure on the dance floor.

“If I didn’t know how you felt about her I would think you are a pervert or something like that.” Suguru sat next to him.

Satoru just rolled his eyes and took his cup once again. “I’m just watching her, nothing else.”

“Yeah like a creep.” His friend pointed out. “Why don’t you go and ask her to dance with you?”

“You think she will accept?”

“What’s the worst that could happen? You get your ass kicked? I will have my phone ready just in case.”

“Geez you are annoying.” Satoru said punching Suguru’s arm.

“C’mon man! Where is all your ego and confidence?” He challenged.

Satoru stood up and looked at Suguru. “Watch me.”

“Your legs are trembling Satoru!” Suguru shouted from the distance to which Satoru responded by showing his middle finger.

But oh boy, he was for real trembling. That was the effect you have on him after all.

Your pov

Your body swayed to the infectious rhythm of the music as you continued sipping from your second glass of the night. You were cautious not to drink too much, but Shoko's insistence that it was a night to let loose and have fun had led you to indulge a bit more.

Amidst the pulsating beats, you also met Yuki, she was older than you and she happened to be dating Choso, your old crush from your first year. Now, the four of you were on the dance floor, fully immersed in the music, letting the heat and energy of the moment wash over you.

The dance floor became a blur of movement as you all threw yourselves into the music, laughing and enjoying each other's company. The atmosphere was electric, the air filled with excitement and camaraderie as you danced the night away, feeling the warmth rising through your bodies with every step and beat.

You noticed Shoko giving Kyoko a subtle nudge, followed by a knowing smile and a raised eyebrow exchange between them. “I'm exhausted.” Shoko announced abruptly. “Let's sit.”

You nodded, ready to follow Shoko, but Kyoko halted you with a smile and a nod towards her side. Confused, you followed her gaze, only to find Satoru standing a few meters away. His cheeks were flushed, likely from the heat of the club, and his gaze was fixed on you with unwavering intensity.

Your heart quickened as Satoru began to make his way towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. Glancing back at Kyoko, you found that she, along with Shoko, and Yuki had vanished from your sight, leaving you alone with Satoru.

“Hey.” Satoru said when he was finally near you.

“Hi.” You said with a louder tone so he could hear you.

“You having fun?” He questioned getting closer, so you could hear him.

You nodded. “So much. I was dancing with the girls until now.”

“Is that your second drink?” He pointed to the cup in your hands.

“Yeah! Shoko insisted but it’s fine by me, so don’t worry.” You moved your hand around. “Are you having fun too Satoru?” You asked him this time.

“I am.” He smiled and took a deep breath. “Wanna dance with me the next song?”

Oh. You were caught off guard by Satoru's invitation to dance, you hesitated for a moment, the pulse of the music pounding in your ears. But the prospect of dancing with him, of being close to him, was too tempting to resist.

“Yeah, sure.” You finally replied with a smile spreading across your face. “But let me finish my drink.”

“Drink slowly, I don’t want you throwing up on me once again.” He once again teased you, so you decided to tease him back.

“Oh. It went up.” You smirked looking at him. “Now it’s 39%.”

“Okay, okay, I will stop teasing but just be careful.”

“Yes dad!” You said, rolling your eyes. “Alright.” You placed the empty glass on a table. “Let’s go!”

Satoru's smile widened, a sparkle of excitement in his eyes as he took your hand and led you towards the dance floor. When the next song started playing, you fell into rhythm with him.

In the dim lights of the club, surrounded by the pulsating energy of the crowd, you lost yourself in the moment, swaying and spinning with Satoru, as your bodies moved in perfect synchrony, as if you had been doing this for years, as if you were one.

And as you danced, the world started to fade away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the music and lost in the connection that existed between the two of you.

As the music hummed around you and the heat of the dance floor enveloped you. Satoru's hand rested on your waist causing a surge of electricity to course through you, igniting a fiery passion simmering just beneath the surface.

With every step, every movement of your bodies, the tension between you became palpable, the air thick with anticipation. Your movements became more fluid, more sensual, as they let themselves be carried away by the rhythm of the song that was playing.

As the song reached its climax, Satoru pulled you closer, his gaze looking at you with burning desire. And in that moment, with the music pulsing in your veins and the heat of his body against yours.

“Birdie, I swear you are driving me fucking crazy.” He said but only you were able to hear his words.

You wanted to play, you wanted to wrap him around your finger. “How Satoru?” You got yourself closer to him. “How am I driving you crazy?” You lifted your gaze, leaving both of your gazes connected.

One more step and your chest would be completely stuck together. One more step and what you would feel would be his heat mixing with yours. One more step and everything you have been trying to ignore would fall on you like a house of cards.

It was just one step.

Just one.

And you were about to give that step when you saw a silhouette in the distance, making your blood freeze.

“Fuck.” You muttered realizing who was in that club too, someone you had secretly hoped and prayed to avoid encountering him again ever since you quit working at that bar.

Final notes: itafushi and chosoyuki crumbs on the same chapter? exactly 🙂‍↕️ Also who do you think Birdie saw?

— if you want to be tagged, comment below

🏷️: @lavender-hvze, @crybabytoru, @sanriosatoru, @norvacaine, @sadmonke, @faetoraa , @hexipessimistic, @gojoful , @kitzusune , @sh0jun , @manyno , @ropickle , @lolsasuke , @milk3evee

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

Welcome!

This is your official-unofficial source for all things SVSSS fanon-debunking! As a veteran reader of MXTX's least popular novel and someone with a PhD in SVSSS literature, I have taken on the arduous task of separating fact from fiction... or well, specifically, canon from fanon.

《 Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog is textual analysis, not to tell people what fanon or canon material to use or not to use in their fanworks, or to make moral judgments on the way people interpret the text. Please see my faq and psa tags for more about my views on the matter. 》

There is a significant affliction within this fandom, where fanon ideas are assumed to be canonical facts-- to the point where sometimes fanon will even end up on the official SVSSS wiki 😱😱😱!!!

I've met quite a lot of people who are surprised to find out that something they think is canon is actually fanon, and even a few that are the other way around, so I've decided to start this blog to help people sort it out!

My credentials and qualifications are as follows:

PhD in SVSSS literature (awarded to me by a disgruntled SJ apologist).

A good minimum of 50-75% of available brain-space devoted to SVSSS at all times

Consummate knowledge of minute lore details

Near-memorization of a good portion of the novel, with the added ability to find any quote within 10 minutes of searching (in both EN and CN)

Author of a fic that is currently over 300k words long and counting, which was originally written out of spite for fanon portrayals of certain characters and themes

The ability to write 5k+ rants about any given topic in the space of an afternoon

--------------------

How this blog works:

You, dear reader, send in a suspected fanon topic to my askbox. Or perhaps it's something you suspect to be canon, but would like confirmation on.

I will then write a post on this topic (on no set schedule, I go as the wind takes me~), first applying a rating (more details below), then adding further information as needed. Topics with either support or rebuttal in canon will have quoted evidence presented, those without either of those things will simply have a brief explanation.

I will also add some analysis or potential interpretations and readings but I will do my best not to add my pure opinions to these posts-- this blog is about textual evidence! So, do not reblog my posts to argue with me based on your headcanons! If you want to argue against one of my posts, provide a quoted source from the novel!

Otherwise, I will most likely block you :>

Any hateful content or attempts to start fandom wank on my posts or in my inbox will get deleted and blocked. Anyone who provides textual evidence that changes my rating or analysis will be very much appreciated and receive the Golden Cucumber Award.

At the end of the day, this blog is entirely about canonical textual analysis and has no bearing whatsoever on what people want to headcanon or use in their fics. It's fandom. Do Whatever You Want Forever. Who am I to say you can't use a certain headcanon?

Just please treat headcanons as headcanons. No matter how deeply-entrenched into fanon they may be, they're still not canon and shouldn't be treated as such.

If you're of the mind that you'll still do whatever you want without regards for canon, then you're probably not the intended audience for this blog. If you're someone who wants to clarify whether a popular idea has a basis in canon or not, then read on to learn more about the rating system and see already-discussed topics!

--------------------

Rating System

WHAT DO I CONSIDER CANON? (please read before commenting)

Each exposed fanon or canon will receive a rating and analysis. The ratings are interpreted as follows:

CANON - This fact is directly or indirectly supported by the text! If you want to stay true to canon, this should be treated as fact.

FANON - SUPPORTED - Though the text doesn't directly state this is true, it is a very likely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.

FANON - NEUTRAL - The text neither confirms or denies this. It may be true or it may be false, and the matter is entirely up for interpretation. Many fanon will likely fall into this category, and whether you adopt it or not won't affect how true to canon your interpretations are.

FANON - UNSUPPORTED - While the text may not be directly against this headcanon, it is still an unlikely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.

FANON - CONFLICTING - The text goes directly against this interpretation, and there are quotes that prove it to be incorrect. If you wish to stay true to canon, it's best not to include this idea.

--------------------

Awards:

I will give out three awards on this blog for those who assist me in keeping fanon and canon separate!

The Bronze Cucumber Award will be given to anyone who reblogs my post and adds significant additional context in support of/explaining my analysis. This may be textual context or "support" context (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes/etc.). Since this fandom likes to analyze, I will only be giving out this award to those who specifically add details and ideas that are not rooted in my original analysis (such as, a quote from a completely different part of the book, or a linguistic explanation that provides context), rather than those who simply expand on what I already wrote.

The Silver Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my analysis posts with a source telling the origin of a particular fanon idea. This is wonderful for archival purposes-- just as it's good to see where canon ideas come from, it can also be helpful to know where a fanon idea originated, in order to have proper context. Only the first responder to provide a fanon origin will receive the award (so that this blog doesn't get too clogged up).

The Golden Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my posts with a debunking of my analysis-- as long as they provide directly-quoted evidence that disproves my points. This evidence should be based on the text of the novel itself, and I should be able to look it up in my own copy. I will be more selective with giving out golden cucumbers to reblogs that debunk on the basis of "support" elements (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes, etc.) because many of those topics can be somewhat subjective.

--------------------

Previously-Tackled Concepts

(See below the cut for a full list)

CANON

CQMS Twelve Peaks' have Color-Coded Uniforms

Shen Yuan has a Younger Sister

Mobei-jun has Blue Eyes

Shen Yuan is a Monster Nerd

Airplane was a Child of Divorced Parents

Ning Yingying is Younger than Luo Binghe

FANON - SUPPORTED

Shen Jiu Only Goes to Brothels to Sleep, Not to Have Sex

Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua Eventually Get Married

FANON - NEUTRAL

Shen Qingqiu is Banned from Xian Shu Peak

Shen Qingqiu Wears a Cinnabar Mark on his Forehead

Shen Yuan Wore Glasses in his Previous Life

FANON - UNSUPPORTED

Shen Yuan was Chronically/Terminally Ill in his First Life

Shen Yuan was a Socially Awkward, Introverted Shut-In By Nature

Luo Binghe has Curly Hair

Aphrodisiac-Producing Plants are an Ever-Present Danger in the World of PIDW

FANON - CONFLICTING

Ming Fan was Head Disciple of Qing Jing Peak

Luo Binghe Received Both Scars from the Abyss Scene

Qiu Haitang has More than One Older Brother

Shen Qingqiu has Green Eyes

All Demons Naturally have Forehead Marks

Luo Binghe has a "Stereotypically Masculine" Appearance

Xuan Su is a Large, Broad, Imposing-Looking Sword

Shen Yuan's Original Body Closely Resembled Shen Qingqiu's

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were Meant to End Up Together in the Original Draft of PIDW

CANON EXAMINED

Shen Yuan's PIDW-Reading Timeline

Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Hierarchy (tag)

The Pre-Canon Timeline and Character Ages

[rachalixie]

what i’m looking for

you, quite literally, run into kim seungmin on your escape from an arranged marriage.

tags: strangers to lovers, hidden identity, she/her!reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: 3.4k

you never thought you would be in a situation like this, running through the woods in poorly fitting clothes and shoes, branches snagging at your hair and arms as you wind your way through the forest searching for something, anything. and yet, here you are. cursed engagement ring hidden away in your satchel along with a pocket of gold coins and whatever stale pieces of food your handmaid was able to steal for you before you took your leave.

you’re surprised it took you until a week before your wedding to run away, but you were never one to back down from a challenge; you tried everything you could think of to call it off, but your parents wouldn’t budge. something about it being the best decision for the kingdom, or whatever - nevermind what you want. nevermind that your brother would become king and therefore you were simply a bargaining chip to be used for political power. nevermind the reputation of your betrothed, the reputation of his kingdom and how they treat women like you. nevermind that they’re sending you into a life of despair and discomfort. 

the cool dusk breeze beating against your face feels almost euphoric as you sprint, cautiously looking behind you to make sure you’re not being followed. surely someone had noticed your departure? but you made sure to cover your tracks well; the boots you’re wearing are several sizes too big, stuffed with cloth to ease the fit, and any tracker would dismiss them on their hunt for you. 

you’re abruptly sent down to the forest floor when a boy appears almost out of nowhere, tripping you and making you lose your footing. he tumbles down with you, taking the brunt of your fall, and annoyance pings within you when he groans at the impact. you’re scrambling off his lap as fast as you can, hands scrabbling at dried leaves on the ground that stick to your palms. 

“where did you come from?” you demand, watching him stand up with an indignant look on his face. his pouty lips are twisted into a frown and his hair is fluffed up from his fall. in any other situation you might think he was cute. “do you not watch where you’re going?”

“oh sorry, i’m not really used to people running through my property,” he says with a roll of his eyes, and a reprimand that you have to tamp down sits at the tip of your tongue. for all he knows, you’re a commoner; announcing that he should be aware of your royal status and that technically, you own this property probably isn’t the best move. he would turn you in faster than you can speak your own name, collecting whatever reward your father most likely posted in return for your safe delivery back to the palace. 

“your property?” you land on, feeling it a safe question. you look past his head and notice a tiny cottage a few yards away, ivy lining the bricks and a soft puff of smoke escaping from the chimney. 

“yes,” he drawls out, as if talking to a child. “the place where i reside. you know, sleep and eat. surely you know what that is?”

“of course i do,” you huff, crossing your arms. did you look homeless to him, or something? a terrible idea sparks in the back of your mind as he looks away from you and you notice the rapidly setting sun. it hits you that you had no plan, nowhere to go, nothing to eat and no shelter for the night.

“anyways. enjoy the rest of your. jog?” he says, voice lilting up at the end like he’s not sure whether or not to be suspicious of you. he turns to walk away and a flash of panic takes over your body.

“wait!” you lunge to grip at his sleeve, a display of impropriety that you usually wouldn’t let yourself indulge in with anyone other than your closest advisors. the material feels rough under your skin, as do the borrowed clothes hanging off of your shoulders. “do you have an extra room? or a mat on the floor? i can pay you, i just need somewhere to stay.”

“what, are you on the run or something?” a spark lights in his eyes, and your hair stands on end when you realize that he’s amused. as if he knows anything about you.

“or something,” you grit out, knowing that whatever sarcastic comment that you want to make probably won’t end up with him agreeing to let you in. despite his inarguably annoying personality, he has a house, and you need him right now. you can’t imagine that you’ll run into anyone else tonight, and sleeping on the forest floor does not seem safe. 

“how much?” he says, quirking an eyebrow up. you mentally cringe at the amount of money you have hidden away in your bag, 

“enough,” you squint your eyes at him, gauging him. he meets your gaze for an impressive amount of time before nodding his head towards the small building and starting his trek. 

“what’s your name?” you ask, following behind him, knowing but not caring that not offering yours first was rude. he looks back at you for a beat of time before shrugging. 

“kim seungmin. and you?”

you give him your name, grateful to your parents for the first time in a while. they kept your true name hidden from anyone outside of the palace, and their secrecy was annoying until this very moment. it would be nice to be called something other than princess for a while, you’re sure. 

he mouths your name, letting it sit on his tongue for a moment before grinning. 

“well then, welcome to my home. i’ll make up a cot for you in the living room, are you hungry?” he rambles as he lets you in, closing and locking the door behind you. the skeptic sarcastic you met outside seems to melt away to reveal slumped shoulders and tired eyes, unmasked by the comfort of his space. it warms you up along with the shelter of a roof, a reprieve from the biting cold of the outside. 

he doesn’t wait for your answer before walking off, leaving you to stand between the small kitchen and cozy looking living room. there’s small trinkets strewn around, soft mismatched couches with worn blankets and a rickety looking kitchen table surrounded by stools. he returns with a thin padded mattress and a pillow and he sets it down by the burning fireplace. it’s not the luxurious four post bed that you’re used to, but it’ll do.

“let me treat that for you,” he gestures at your knees, where small dots of blood seep through a tear in your trousers. there’s a small scrape you didn’t notice until now, the sting making itself known when you bend your leg just a bit to get a better look. 

“it’s just a scratch,” you protest, not wanting to bite off more than you can chew with him. you already owe him for letting you in, you don’t want to think about how fast your reserves will dwindle down if he does you any more favors.

“please, i insist,” he guides you to sit on one of the stools at the kitchen table before reaching into the cabinet next to him. “i’m an apothecary, and i know my way around basic medicine. it’s not a big deal.”

you nod stiffly and let him inspect the small wound, the breath leaving you when he drops to his knees in front of you to get a better look. he rolls up your pant leg and he cleans it with rapt attention, making sure not to press too hard, and applies a greenish looking salve onto it.

“there, all done,” he says, patting the bandage he had wrapped around it before letting the cloth of your trousers back down. 

“thank you,” you say, genuine in the way his returning smile is. you reach into your bag, fishing for the small bag of coins. “how much? i can pay you in advance for letting me stay, and for this.”

“keep it,” he says, voice even softer than it was before. “you can help me around the house. the weeding, or gathering wood for the fire. i don’t want your money, not when you probably need it more than i do. i make enough to get by.”

so you do. the first morning you stumble through the garden, side by side with him as he shows you which plants in his garden were herbs he could use for his medicines and which were leeching weeds that needed to be plucked before they took over the entire space. he disappears to town in the afternoon, delivering medicines and coming back with a pocket jingling with coins and a bag full of fresh pastries for the both of you. they taste better than anything you’ve eaten from the palace cooks, and you can’t help the way you moan around the cherry hand pie. you catch his eye and he meets it before you both dissolve into giggles, leaning into each other’s space on the same side of the table. 

he helps you wash your clothes that night, tutting at how you only have one pair. he lends you a pair of his, an old set that he doesn’t wear anymore. you lay at night and swipe the fabric between your fingers, smiling at the gesture even though he isn’t there to receive it.

his kindness shocks you, you’re not used to people doing things for you without the authority of the crown making them or them demanding something in return. it’s nice, knowing that there’s people in your kingdom that contain such compassion, especially for strangers. 

the next day he takes you deeper into the forest to pick berries, and the red and purple bursted splotches staining your fingertips for hours after. he feeds you some with his bare hand, swiping his thumb against the corner of your mouth when sweet juice escapes it. you bristle at the action and he laughs, and you have to hide your smile in your sleeve as you wipe the rest off yourself. you stay out until the sun begins to set, him busy teaching you about every type of plant the two of you come across on your stroll and you listening with rapt attention. his voice is soothing, words speeding up and slurring together a bit when he finds something particularly interesting that he wants to show you. he makes you feel almost like when you were a child studying with your tutors, quizzing you every now and then to test your retention, but the smile he rewards you with is better than anything they ever gave you. 

on the third day, he’s gone before you wake. he left a note on the table for you stating that he had to go to town for a medical emergency, and that there was bread and cheese in one of the cupboards for you to eat while he was away. you busy yourself with two knitting needles and a ball of thread you find in the living room, trying and failing to create a pattern of knots. he comes home as the sun is setting, the last rays making his hair a honeyed brown and his skin glow. your stomach clenches at the sight of him, the relief you’re feeling foreign to your body. 

he grins at the sight of you surrounded by unraveled strings and gently pries your hands from the needles where they had become clenched. he wordlessly shows you how to create simple weaves with the needles, and you have to ask him to show you twice because you’re too busy staring at his tongue poking from his lips to focus the first time around. you end up with a wobbly looking hat, some knots too bit and some too tight that create gaping holes in weird places, but he places it on his head and thanks you for it anyways.

“you have a lot of secrets,” he muses the next night, sipping tea with you by the fireplace. you almost lose your grip on the mug from his abruptness.

“i do?” you ask, not willing to give away information that he doesn’t already have. you had spent the day in companionship, trading back quips and sarcastic comments between meals. he taught you about the medicines he was making that day, explaining each ingredient and its properties as he cut them up and beat them into a paste. his comment was out of place, but it’s something you’ve come to expect from him; there’s no predictability to him past the way his eyes crinkle up when he smiles and the way his face goes soft when he looks at you. 

“you pretend you’re a commoner, but your hands are free of callouses. your hair is full and healthy, you speak formally, you’re clearly well off. or at least, you were. what i don’t understand is why you decided to leave that behind.” his bottom lip is twisting between his teeth, not knowing whether he’s crossed a line with you.

“true,” you admit, wrapping your hands further around your tea and letting the warmth seep into your hands. it grounds you. “i didn’t think i had a choice. i wanted to make my own decisions, wanted to decide my own fate, not have someone do it for me. i felt suffocated, so i just. left. i don’t know what i was looking for, but i needed to get out.”

“have you found it?” he says, peering at you from above his mug as he takes a long sip. “what you’re looking for?”

“maybe,” you pause, looking into his eyes. they’re cocoa-dusted brown, the fire dancing across his pupils. he looks away after a moment, and you’re grateful for it. you wouldn’t want him to see the flush thats traveled up to your cheeks and ears. 

by the fifth day, you’re able to identify the uncomfortable feeling in your gut whenever he walks into a room. or looks at you. or breathes, really. 

you’re falling for him. 

you’re not in love with him, you’re not so deluded by his puppy-like charm and stupid smile and cute teeth and sparkly eyes that you’re calling it love. you can simply identify the feeling of free falling as clearly as it was laid out in the novels you used to sneak into your room to read by the candlelight before bed. 

it isn’t as difficult to look him in the eyes after you’ve identified it as you thought it would be. if anything, you’re even more drawn to his magnetism, your body moving towards his without your permission at any given time. while he’s preparing lunch, or chopping herbs, or telling you about his trip to town, you’re in his space. and the worst part is, he doesn’t seem to mind. in fact, he seems to gravitate towards you with the same intensity, or you hope so at least; it isn’t unrealistic that it’s your rose-colored vision making you see things that aren’t there. 

regardless, it brings something more dangerous to your attention: hope. the hope that maybe, this could be a life for you. that this temporary stop in your journey might become permanent. that you’re far enough from your home that no one will recognize you if you step into town, that you could spend the rest of your days with him in this cottage, eating pastries and knitting and picking berries. 

there was no need to tell him that now. you were fine with the way things were, you were still technically engaged, and you didn’t even know if you were ready for something like that. for the infinite time since you can remember, you’re cursing your sheltered upbringing for not teaching you how to live.

it’s on the sixth day that things go crumbling down.

he’s gone again, leaving you in comfortable silence broken up by birds chirping outside and the sound of leaves rustling past the windows. it’s domestic, the way he works during the morning and comes home a few hours later to you twiddling the knitting needles between your hands, a ball of yarn by your feet and a haphazard scarf forming under them. 

“your highness?” he says, and you hear a rustle of paper, him putting his mail down most likely.

“hmm?” you sound absentmindedly, still focused on the knitting you’re trying to painstakingly learn. it hits you a moment later what he said, and you drop the scarf and needles with a gasp. you look up to see your worst nightmare in the form of him holding up a missing persons poster, a drawn image of your face adorning the middle and your name plastered underneath. missing princess, it reads, complete with a reward for your safe return. you knew this would happen, you just didn’t think it would happen so soon. a day before your wedding. you thought you had more time. you were so close to your freedom, and you could feel it slipping through your fingers.

“shit,” you curse, hiding your face in your hands so you don’t have to take in the shocked look on his face. you feel all the blood in your head rushing south, leaving you lightheaded and overwhelmed.

“you’re the princess?” he clearly has no care for your distress in this moment as he stalks towards you, the poster crumpling in his hand when it curls into a fist. “i’ve been harboring the missing princess in my home?”

“yes?” you mumble into your fingers, letting the despair settle in your traitorous stomach. he lets out a sharp breath through his teeth and you flinch, thoughts swirling.

“do you know what would happen to me if anyone finds out i’ve been keeping you here? prison would be a paradise.” you hear his feet bringing him closer to you, each drop synchronizing with your heart beating in your throat.

“please,” you remove your hands, sniffling when a traitorous tear traces down your face. “don’t send me back. i’ll give you all the money i have, just don’t send me back there.”

“hey,” he soothes, anger melting into concern as he folds to his knees in front of you. “i won’t. i wouldn’t. i just- why didn’t you tell me?”

“i didn’t know if i could trust you, at first,” you stutter out, ignoring the way your heart clenches when his face falls. “and after…there wasn’t a good time.”

“why would you give all that up? a life of luxury, never needing to ask for anything, why would you leave that to spend your days here? don’t you want to marry some prince and live in your castle?”

“i don’t want some prince. i want you,” your voice is wobbly, vision clouded by the tears you won’t let fall, but your intention is clear.

“you can’t just-” he cuts himself off, taking in a sharp breath through his nose. “you can’t want me. i’m nobody.”

“you’re not,” you press, standing until you’re level with him. “don’t you understand? it’s you. you were what i was looking for all this time.”

“but,” he protests, running a hand through his hair, mussing it up from its careful placement. “why me?”

“you’re my home, seungmin. i’ve never felt more safe or more comfortable than i have within these walls.” desperate tears continue to sting at your eyes, and he reaches to wipe them away before he can help himself. your palms move to cup his hands to your face, keeping his warmth there. “you’re the only one who sees me as more than just something they can use, you see me. please don’t send me away.”

“would you be happy here?” he asks, voice trembling. he wants you to stay.

“i’ve been happier these past six days than i’ve been my entire life.”

he surges to kiss you, finally letting your lips touch after days of lingering glances, and it feels like coming home.

you didn’t know if you would go back to the palace, but you knew you had responsibilities that you couldn’t just ignore and that you had to deal with them soon. what you were completely sure of was that, despite the wishes of your family, you won’t marry at all if you aren’t marrying him.