#non binary problems

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Dumb gender thought of the day: "Sure, you could say I'm a woman - in the same way you could say that a dolphin is a fish."

If your first thought was: "okay, so you're definitely not a woman, got it." Congrats! You're correct!

If your first thought was: "well, actually, that depends, as the cultural definition of 'fish' has varied throughout time and context, such as in kashrut, which classifies all fully aquatic animals as 'fish,' with only the ones having fins and scales being kosher, and that's not even getting into cladistics, wherein 'fish' is not a category that you can meaningfully define without including all mammals, and...." Mazel tov! You're also correct (and also a nerd)

[lemme-just-oops]

I love how in one pokemon game, the trainer id non-binary (as in, you cannot choose and the NPCs don't know your gender). And that it is also the game, WHERE YOUR POKEMON WILL DIE IN FRONT OF YOU

[not-ur-binary]

After getting top surgery, my chest is kinda itchy from the scar tape and the compression vest. When I took the vest off to take a shower, I instinctively tried to move my boob to itch underneath, only to get really confused for a second when I simply pushed air.

[agender-wolfie]

If you’re attracted to or dating me then you aren’t heterosexual. I’m trans/agender. I’m not a man or a woman and you will not be treating me as such.

[seraphimbones13]

gender is kicking my ass right now

[mbrainspaz]

Couldn’t even call me ‘woman’ to my non-binary face. 😂

Big bully man at work called a ‘meeting’ to berate me for sending him a mean text. Said mean text was: ‘hey man please get me this supply for work, unless you don’t want to in which case please tell me who I should request it from instead. Thanks.’

I’ve been hearing rumors for weeks that he’s been talking about how what I do isn’t ‘women’s’ work. He’s been getting in my way since I started this job, telling me I can’t do this or that. Idiot wouldn’t let me drive the tractor for 9 months because he threw a whole tantrum over it every time I tried. Shit hit the fan the other day when he told me I wasn’t allowed to fix the fence and I said ‘actually I can, and I will, but you can help if you want to.’ He tried some threats and left in a huff when that didn’t work, then called the boss. Luckily I’d had the foresight to get her to back me up first. I fixed the fence.

Generally when we need supplies we ask whoever this guy’s favorite worker of the week is, so that he’ll get what we need (otherwise he ignores us, everyone knows he’s petty and mean). So I asked his fave to get us some supplies and apparently she stupidly told him that it was my request. Then I heard he said I should ‘be a real woman’ and ask him directly for the supplies I needed. “Oh I’ll show him a real woman,” I said with flickers of hellfire in my black eyes. I sent him the offending text. Queue another instant meltdown. He dragged my manager and another coworker in to it too, poor things.

Him: I don’t like being talked to like that.

Me: oh you mean the way you’ve talked to me a hundred times over?

Then he went on a spluttering rant about how he wasn’t born yesterday and I said neither was I. He was trying the ‘hate stare’ on me the whole time and I gave it right back. I’ve been stared down by men that could send this guy running with a glance. I didn’t even shake. Meanwhile sweat was pouring off the manager’s face lol, and he was he biggest guy in the room.

I saw the bully man start to say something, think better of it, and go with ‘you need to grow up.’ Which honestly was so stupid I didn’t have a comeback. But I could tell he had the ‘grown woman’ line queued up and couldn’t quite send it. Not standing there in that small room looking up at me.

Hah. Little man. Little man watching me bat his hands away while he tries over and over again to take my power.

That shit doesn’t work on me anymore.

Still considering reaching out to HR to file something official since I don’t think my boss is taking any of this seriously. But you know how useless HR can be when it comes to harassment from male coworkers. We’ll see.

He said I’m not allowed to ask him for supplies anymore and I have to ask the manager instead, then got even angrier when I said “got it, I’ll ask the manager instead.” The man is fully deranged.

[slickskullshock]

i want to be one of those hot androgynous people with a crossbody bag but i have boobs

[therealaweirdartist]

Hey soo non-binary people like me Do you have this problem to where you wanna get top surgery even tho your too young and you're trying to get a binder but you're supervisor/ Guardian/ Parent Doesn't allow you to have one and you just want to have a flat chess, but look feminine and Have fluffy short hair at the same time....

Or is that just me....

[zaynesboyfriend]

I wish I could write from my perspective of being genderfluid, but I’m afab and I end up resorting to fem!reader or just using afab!reader and I just feel like that’s just been misused so much just to mean female!reader. I could use gender neutral, but it doesn’t feel as personal, you know? I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do. And, if I’m specifically looking for enby!reader, they only use ‘they/them’ pronouns and I use ‘she/he’. But, therein lies another problem: it’s confusing going back and forth. 😩

[pandorasboxoftreasures]

There you go.

Looks like the "misreading what I write" police finally got me with their Hammer of Dawn and have finally unleashed my fury when I was trying so damn hard to be patient and considerate of their sometimes straight garbage behaviour.

Own server time, I reckon. Overdue. Should've left after the first warning with the ridiculousness of it but I genuinely thought maybe I would be able to be comfortable there after a while. It never happened. I was always uncomfortable after that. Always watching my words. Checking with mods to make sure I stuck to rules.

It still wasn't good enough for them, I guess. Their assumptions took priority over what I actually was saying no matter how carefully I tried to word things.

I reckon my keeping quiet about my gender identity contributed. But there's a frustrating dynamic with being nonbinary for me now as there was back when I was an egg online hiding behind anonymity and avoiding the question of "a/s/l", I don't want to answer the question. I don't want to be asked the question. I don't want to answer. My gender is me. It doesn't matter. Don't bring it up. I don't want to think about it.

I honestly don't even like calling myself nonbinary because there's still some sort of twisted gender expectation based on the binary applied to me when I say that that's more uncomfortable for me than just not saying anything. And yet I'm still forced in situations like this to have to say something because this whole situation is screwed up.

But, you know, the "not all cis" mod team didn't consider that. Seems even in a place like that, default is still cis white straight binary allo man and proud of it even after I already showed some of those didn't apply.

What kind of inclusive space is that where you have to announce everything about yourself (gender, ethnic background, sexuality, etc) in order to be judged with how much weight and respect your words are given? Should've known that place wasn't for me when folks unironically used the term "yt".

The same mod that gave me my first warning for being "racist" for saying not all cultures view comparing a person to an animal as a negative thing, said to me that because I'm European I don't understand drastic wealth inequality. Seriously.

Although there's quite a few things I'll be doing very differently on top of not assuming discrimination in absolutely everything. I dislike the hypersexualisation of the Avatar fandom in a lot of spaces. Not to say the server wouldn't have spaces for that, but it would be reduced in focus and how explicit compared to the others I've encountered.

I'm no prude, but it sets a really, really bad impression if that's the majority of what's available and seen in feeds. Diversity is important for a healthy anything. Fandoms are no exception. There's not enough spaces for the aces right now. And we're definitely, definitely there.

However, I do have plans for something particularly unique that I'm sure very few other Avatar fan servers could do as a trade off for this. Inspired by some other non-fandom servers I've frequented.

Will keep everybody interested here posted but unfortunately this has happened to me during a very busy week when I'm not able to do as much as I want to. As these sort of things tend to do.

[genderbendqueen]

Go to a salon and ask for a short haircut and they never do it short enough theyre to scared to cuz "your a girl."

Go to a barbershop and ask for a guys cut and geuss what same fuckin thing like guys can you please just cut my hair how i ask like i do not give 1 fuck if you see me as a women/girl that shouldnt matter if i want short hair give me fuckin short hair.

If i ask for 1 inch off dont just do .5 of an inch do the whole thing.

For the record i am non binary but that shouldnt matter!!!!!!!!

[ego-sum-ex-altiora]

As an afab enby person, I’m tired of the reactions I get to growing my hair out. No I’m not detransitioning, and no I’m not “embracing my femininity”. I’m growing my hair out to be more like Jonathan Sims. Nothing else.

[brew-berry-a-trash-artist]

[not-ur-binary]

So, after having top surgery, I realized I could feel women’s breasts when I hugged them.

I now just realized that guys could definitely feel my breasts when I hugged them…

[agender-wolfie]

Just learned that you can only be a guy or a girl in Stardew Valley 🙃 I’m neither

[donnstuart]

Do you think I would look good wearing one of your shirt 🥺