#none of them are really good people but they are more functional than what people would imagine

[infiniteko]

Q: "I have tried very hard to get into a state of non-duality. But that doesn’t work for me, why?"

by Being_is_IT / Twitter

BeingIs: When you work so hard to try to reach a special state to feel comfortable, such a state is imaginary. All seemingly state is SELF and SELF has no idea of states. Uncomfortable state is SELF and comfortable state is the same SELF, there is no actual difference. Your effort to establish a special state is itself an illusion. Feeling uncomfortable? It’s a great opportunity to see the interpretation of the Mind. Feeling comfortable? It’s the same opportunity to see the interpretation of the Mind.

All conclusions you reached are none other than the interpretation of the Mind. And without exception, all interpretation of the Mind is not valid. So, you don’t really know what is going on. When you realize that you don’t really know what is going on, congratulations! You know SELF directly. Let us look at your imagined state of non-duality. Does such a state exist? No, it does not!

Because the present moment is already non-dual by default. There is nothing for you to do, all present moment is already non-dualistic. However, only that the Mind interprets the present moment as multiplicity and diversity. The Mind’s interpretation is not actually established. The Mind mistakes a perfect SELF as seemingly multiplicity and diversity.

The Mind’s interpretation is harmless, not a problem. However, taking the Mind’s interpretation as your reality, you will get into suffering seemingly. Let me put it in a different way, seemingly diversity is not actual diversity, it’s just a seeming only. SELF can be analogized as Infinite Radiant Energy. Such infinite energy can appear as infinitely diverse, but don’t be fooled by the appearances, SELF remains as SELF no matter how it looks.

Please see that the images of other people as your very own energetic texture or patterns, do not take them as independently existing people. Please see that the seemingly events that’s happening as your very own energetic texture or patterns, do not see them as actual or concrete events happening. Such direct seeing is very subtle because the Mind will keep claiming that it’s seeing concrete “people, events and objects”. You will also directly see the Mind is making all kinds of assumptions. When your sensitivity is not keen, you will mistake the Mind’s assumption as your reality, and fall into the Mind’s assumption as if it’s your reality.

When your sensitivity is increased, you will be able to discern that none of the Mind’s assumptions are actually established as valid. When you see energetic patterns as energetic patterns rather than “people, events, objects, world, space, time”, does such change of perspective cause trouble in your daily life? Not really. You are free to function as if you are a person while profoundly knowing that you are Infinite Radiant Energy itself.

You are free to work with others. You are free to enjoy a seemingly good living condition. You are free to try to avoid a seemingly terrible living condition. You are free to make money or lose money. You are free to get married or stay single. Please notice, they are all energetic patterns that don’t matter at all as long as you don’t mistake such energetic patterns as actual story and events.

When you realize that dream is just an insubstantial dream, will it harm you? Even if you see that a body is being beaten up by gangsters in a dream, will it actually harm you? A best example is dreaming. In dreaming experience, the dreaming Mind assumes that it’s seeing “people, events and objects”.

Are there actual people, events and objects inside a dreaming experience? Of course not. But the Mind obviously can see “people, events and objects” inside a dreaming experience. It takes sensitivity to see that the Mind’s assumption is incorrect. The seemingly “people, events, objects” in a dreaming experience is just a seeming only. Nothing more than just a seeming.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Of all my fic ideas the only one I really want to write (in english) and would if I had a beta reader is the Riddler gets turned into a kid Hattercrow one.

I just really enjoy the idea of a plot that appears to be innocent and fluffy but evolves into an angsty analisys of grief and sacrifice.

Basically Jervis worries about the future (and how his perfect family can be broken at any moment because it was created by a spell) Jon mourns the past (and the Edward he knew) and Edward questions the present (and who he even is as he never became the person most people know him as). And I really though a lot about it.

I didn't decided in an ending. But I know it would be a bittersweet one.

[natasharswifey]

Happy birthday, by the way 🎂

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: After a few months of dating, you realise you don't know when Nat's birthday is. She isn't interested in celebrating, and when you ask, she refuses to tell you. But you are very determined.

____☆____

A/N: This is just a little fluff, also my first x reader fic. Love reading em so I thought I'd give it a go :3. Also I find it hard to read Y/N as my name so I'm using [...] instead!

Tags: Just fluff <3

____☆____

"Oh, come on, why won't you just admit it?"

"Because I can't deal with you inviting half of the United States to the tower for a party."

"Exaggeration."

Natasha raises a brow at you. "Oh really? And what about he time you put flyers around about Wanda's party?"

"She was turning 21!"

She gives you a 'really?' look and you know you aren't getting anything out of her. It just didn't make any sense, birthdays were the one day a year where it was all about you. Well that's everyday if you're Tony Stark, but for well functioning members of society it should count as the best day of the year.

"I will not be disclosing that information until I can trust you not to make a huge deal."

"What if I pinky promise?"

"You always overdo it, detka, it's just how you are." She plants a small kiss on your forehead and leaves you on the couch to begin plotting.

___♡___

"And then she said 'you always overdo it', give me a break!"

Wanda looks up from the pot she's stirring and chuckles, "I didn't know half the people the showed up at the tower on my 21st, [.....]"

"I knew I should've gone to Tony, he would get this."

"I don't think asking the most flamboyant Avenger would be very helpful in this situation."

"Right."

"I think you should just leave it, she'll probably tell you eventually." She gently taps a bit of salt into the pot.

"Or..."

"No."

"You didn't even hear me out!"

"I can read minds. It's a terrible idea."

"Firstly, reading Nat's mind to figure out her birthday is literally a flawless plan, and secondly, you're good reading my mind and not hers?"

"Natasha already set her boundaries with me, and plus I don't feel like getting my ass kicked for aiding and abetting."

"Thanks a lot Wands."

"Any time."

If Wanda wasn't going to cooperate then you were simply going to have to enlist the help of a certain blonde assassin.

___♡___

You hear Lucky and Fanny barking hysterically after you ring the doorbell, followed by fast paced footsteps and a small "One minute" from the other side of the door.

Usually a simple question would only warrant a text or phone call, but for some reason Yelena NEVER answers her phone. Unless it's from Kate of course, you're half convinced that she has a special ringtone and notification for her.

It's none other than the archer that answers the door, "Hey, [.....]! I didn't know you were coming over."

"I've actually dropped in unannounced, but I won't stay too long." You reassure her. Kate has a habit of forgetting things, including scheduled hang outs and honestly everything else that isn't attached to her body.

"Come on in!" She steps out of the way and shuts the door behind both of you.

You're immediately greeted by the two large dogs, fighting over your attention in a confusion of wagging tails and paws. Kate tries to get them under control and ultimately fails until they're distracted by Yelena calling them.

"That's totally not fair, they only listen to you." Kate complains and Yelena laughs.

"Because they love me more."

"Lies and deception!" Kate is soon distracted by the golden retriever pulling at her sleeve and gives Yelena a smug look before pouring all of her attention to him.

"Hey, Yelena."

"Hello, [......]. To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Uh, I actually had a quick question. When's Natasha’s birthday?"

"Ah. I do not know."

"What?? But you're sisters!"

She shrugs, "She does not want me to know. Birthdays are not really Natasha’s thing, surely you must know that."

"Yeah, I know, it just doesn't make any sense."

"That's Natasha for you."

You sigh in defeat and sit down on one of the armchairs, your lap immediately occupied by Fanny who still wholeheartedly believes she's the size of a puppy.

"Well, there is someone else you could ask."

Your ears perk up, "Who?"

"Melina."

Ah. Melina. It wouldn't be fair to say that she hated you, but it also would be lying to say that she was fond of you. Perhaps you could ask Alexei instead.

___♡___

"Hello? Can you hear me?" You ask over the phone to your future father in law.

"HELLO? ARE YOU THERE, [......]?"

"Yeah, I'm-"

"I THINK MY WHATISUP IS BROKEN- MELINA!"

"No, no, Alexei there's really no need."

You hear the sound of footsteps and Melina scolding Alexei for always forgetting to turn up the volume before she picks up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Ah, hello Melina."

"[........]. Do you need something?"

"When's Natasha’s birthday?"

"December third. Is that all?"

"But- that's today."

"I'm aware."

"Well, thank yo-" The phone cuts off before you finish your sentence and you're left with about two hours to plan a surprise party for a spy.

___♡___

"I did it, Wanda!"

"Only took you half the day."

"Okay, hater, I need you to help me surprise her."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"One hundered percent." You reply confidently. For most of the day you'd been discouraged, but now it was time for you to trust your gut.

Soon enough you've formed a team of Kate, Yelena and Wanda gathered in one of the common rooms of the tower.

"Alright, Wanda you can be in charge of snacks, Kate you can do decorations, and Yelena you can find us the cake."

"Can-"

"No it may not have profanities on it."

The blonde sighs but jumps into action with the other two. Now all you have to do is buy them some time.

___♡___

You greet Natasha at the tower's entrance with a huge smile plastered on your face.

"Hi, Nat!"

"Hey, [.......]. How was your day?"

"A little hectic. Wanna go for a walk?"

"I would love to but I need to sleep for at least ten hours straight."

You step in front of Natasha as she starts to head inside, "Wait- Uh, did you know walking actually improves energy levels?"

Natasha raises an eyebrow, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"For some strange reason I do not believe that." She holds you in place by your shoulders and steps around you, but you take her arm and try to steer her to the kitchen, your plans are foiled by Lucky and Fanny who bound up to Natasha happily.

"What are Yelena and Kate's kids doing here? Seriously, what is going on?"

"Uhh."

"Insightful."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She stares you down for a few seconds before suddenly moving towards your shared quarters and only speeds up once she realises you're trying to stop her.

The red head clears the stairs in a few seconds and opens the door, only to be met with pitch black. When she steps through and flicks on the light Wanda, Yelena and Kate jump out from behind the couch and yell "Surprise!".

The look on her face is priceless when she turns to you, "How- when did you-"

"I have my ways."

Natasha pulls you into a tight hug and you hug her back even tighter when you feel a small damp patch forming on your shoulder.

___♡___

"Okay, now make a wish!" Yelena says excitedly, the three of you are crowded around the table where the birthday girl sits in front of her cake.

"Alright, alright." She closes her eyes and blows out the candles, which prompts a cheer from everyone in the room.

The five of you all squish onto the couch to watch a movie and eat snacks and cake, with Natasha curled into your side.

"So, did I 'overdo' it?" You ask playfully.

You hear her chuckle, "It was perfect."

____☆____

Tysm for readinggg, If you liked it I have more stuff in my masterlist :)). Reqs are open!!

Also, if you saw the unfinished version of this when I posted it by accident, no you did not.

@l0nelyish 👁👁

[adverbally]

Don’t Ask Me What You Know Is True

Written for the @steddieangstyaugust prompt “Second Chance”

wc: 1,005 | rated: M | cw: none | tags: accusations of infidelity, relationship insecurity, angst with a happy ending | title from “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS

———

Steve is chatting with Nancy and Robin in the kitchen when Eddie grabs him by the elbow.

“Hey, Eddie! Having fun?” Robin greets him brightly. She’s on her fourth beer of the evening so the words come out a little louder than she probably intended, even with the noise of the party around them.

To Steve’s surprise, Eddie ignores her. He just leans closer to Steve’s ear and says lowly, “Can I talk to you? Privately?”

Steve turns to get a good look at Eddie. He can smell the alcohol on his breath, can see the tension around his eyes and in the set of his mouth, like he’s pissed off but trying to hide it. “Uh. Sure.”

To the girls, he says, “I’ll be right back.” Half of it gets lost in the loud music playing from the living room as Eddie tugs him in that direction.

Stepping carefully around the paper cups and abandoned snacks scattered throughout the house, Steve follows Eddie into the guest bathroom and closes the door behind them. It’s blessedly quiet in here compared to the chaos of the festivities they just left.

“Thanks for the rescue.” Steve sighs in relief and rubs at his temples. “I’m gonna have to kick everyone out soon if I want to be functional tomorrow.”

Eddie snorts derisively. “Everyone?”

“You can stay the night if you want, you know that.” It’s been months since either of them slept alone, with Eddie sleeping in Steve’s bed more nights than not. “Nobody will say anything.”

“What about Nancy?” Eddie spits.

Steve blinks at him across the bathroom, his brows furrowing in confusion as he tries to parse Eddie’s question. “She’s driving people home, so… no? Robin had a lot to drink so she might take the guest room, but she won’t care.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just keeps leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. The lights above the mirror make his dark circles and clenched jaw look even more pronounced.

Through the pleasantly tipsy haze surrounding his brain, Steve realizes that Eddie is actually angry, not just acting as an excuse to pull him away from his conversation. “Hey, are you okay? Did I do something?” He steps closer, reaches out to rest a comforting hand on Eddie’s bicep, but Eddie jerks away from his touch.

“Like you fucking care.” He sniffs furiously. “Like you weren’t busy flirting with Nancy all night–”

Steve interrupts, “Whoa, flirting with Nancy?” He had barely even seen her tonight, only getting about five minutes to chat before Eddie pulled him away. “Why the hell would I flirt with her when we’ve been broken up for three years?”

“You tell me.” Eddie’s eyes are hard and dark, with no hint of their usual warmth.

“I wouldn’t!” Steve’s chest feels like it’s about to cave in, his heart imploding and taking the rest of him with it. “Where is this coming from?”

Eddie points aggressively at the bathroom door. “I saw the way you were looking at her,” he hisses. “You’re obviously still in love with her, and she wasn’t exactly trying to shut you down now that she and Jonathan are broken up.”

“No, I love you. Just you.” Helpless tears are burning in Steve’s eyes as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “She’s my friend and that’s it, I swear.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Eddie shakes his head with a rueful smile. His eyes are glassy, but Steve can’t tell if it’s because he’s about to cry or because he’s drunk. “I know you wanted her back. And now you’ve got your second chance. I was just… a placeholder, a distraction. Someone to keep your dick warm for her.”

A flare of anger erupts in him, almost worse than the hurt. Steve tries to tamp it down. “You really think that little of me? You think I’m someone who would just use you like that?”

“Why else would you be with me?”

Steve hears how Eddie's voice wobbles and immediately feels like someone has just dumped ice water over his head. He tries to soften his voice. “Eddie, I’m with you because you’re you. How could you be a placeholder for somebody else when you– you would overflow the place you’re holding? You would make the place yours.”

Not his most eloquent moment, but hopefully Eddie pays more attention to his tone than the specific words Steve is vomiting.

He steps closer to Eddie, reaches out like he’s letting a stray dog sniff his hand. When Eddie doesn’t lash out, Steve takes his hand and hooks their pinky fingers together. It feels like he’s making a vow when he tells Eddie, “You’re so much more than I ever knew I was missing. And what I felt for Nancy doesn’t even come close to how much I love you.”

Eddie won’t look at him but Steve can see the tears beading up along his lash line. “I don’t deserve it,” he murmurs.

“That’s the best part. You don’t have to.” Steve tilts his head, trying to catch Eddie’s eye. “I’m gonna love you anyway. No strings attached. Even when you drink too much and make an ass of yourself.”

With a chuckle, Eddie finally glances up at Steve through his lashes. “Yeah, not my finest moment. I don’t suppose we could forget this ever happened?”

“Not a chance.” Steve presses a kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “We’re gonna talk about this as soon as you sleep off your hangover.”

Eddie groans dramatically and drops his head onto Steve’s shoulder.

“Go drink some water and get ready for bed. I’ll start sending everyone home.”

“‘Kay,” he mumbles into Steve’s chest. “Love you. And I’m sorry for being an insecure asshole.”

Steve wraps his arms around Eddie. “Love you too. And you might be an insecure asshole, but you’re my insecure asshole.” Before Eddie can make an inappropriate joke, Steve tells him, “C’mon, the kids are gonna think we’re fucking in here.”

Eddie’s laugh has never sounded so sweet.

[genericpuff]

(Lore Rekindled ask)

What does TGOEM do? I thought it'd be an organisation for those who swore virginity but it seems to be more of a women's support group? Asking because I thought Dating would be banned but Hestia reacted positively when Persephone told her she was in a relationship, so is it just that they can't have sex and that's why it's okay? Or is TGOEM only named because Athena, Hestia, and Artemis are running it and has nothing to do with their expectations of it's members (Eternal celibacy)?

So I've changed the functioning of TGOEM because, in execution with LO, it made zero sense for there to be some kind of "virgin only club" led by traditionally aroace goddesses who turned out to be lesbians sleeping together which then disbanded as soon as Persephone didn't want to be a virgin. Considering LO is trying to "deconstruct purity culture" and be "feminist", really all the message came across as was "virginity bad! celibacy bad! asexuality bad! women need to be having sex and popping out babies to be fulfilled! lesbian sex is a loophole and doesn't count!" There is lots to be said about how "virgin only" clubs like TGOEM perpetuate purity culture in a very unhealthy way, but none of that really got explored in LO at all, with most of it being shoved onto Demeter as the sole perpetrator with Hestia and Athena being relegated to hypocrites who were secretly sleeping with each other.

So with TGOEM in Rekindled, I wanted to explore it more as an actual women's support group. There are women in the group who are aroace, there are women in the group who are victims of assault, there are women in the group who are grieving after the death of their partners, etc. The group runs different meetings throughout each week for different purposes and groups of women, and it hosts events to give back to the wider community outside of their own members. Kore also has her own reasons for attending but we haven't gotten into those yet. Like Barley Mother, it operates as a co-op, made up entirely of volunteers and relying on donations and bartering.

In light of that, there is still a reason why it's called TGOEM - The Goddesses of Eternal Maidenhood - as its founding was more for the purpose of protecting goddesses and nymphs from forced marriages and empowering aroace women, but now in the more "modern" era of the story's setting, it's evolved into more of a community for women of all circumstances to empower each other and find safety and comfort in one another. That felt a lot more fitting for Hestia to do than enforcing virginity on people. She's also not in a relationship with Athena in this one, they're both aroace and are more akin to strong platonic companions who enjoy each other's company and working together on TGOEM rather than lovers. Artemis doesn't run the group, but she's been in it for a very long time and was one of Kore's first friends within the group.

Sooo yeah! The reason Hestia responded positively to Kore dating someone is because the group is goal-driven and seeking new, healthier relationships is a goal for many of the women in the group. It's not an anti-dating / anti-sex group, they just want to give their members a safe space to share their news - good and bad - and give them tools to navigate their life outside of the group ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

Billy Loomis x reader x Stu macher

Billy loomis and stu macher? Ik they aren't on ur list but it would be fun to see a male nerd reader x billy and stu (yandere ofc)

Someone asked this and somehow I deleted it , so I'm sorry but I will write about them

Also , I am infact a girl , and this is the first time that I am writing for male reader , so if this is a bit not good sorry://

Summary: you are Billy's and Stu's obsession. How they are before you get together and after you do

Warnings: yandere , implied murder , implied stalking, that's all

You are literally so perfect and handsome and beautiful and smart , they can't even properly function around you

You had not been part of their original plan who was more about revenge , but you now definably were

People who flirt with you? Well they are instantly befriended and added to the friend group

The plan is to kill all of them , along with Sydney and her friends

You were in one of Stu's classes since forever and he always thought you were super cute when answering questions

But his obsession with you started later on when Billy talked to him about you

Billy had officially met you when he was running of from class , and bumped into you causing all your books to fall on the floor

He helped you pick them up and you smiled at him and he knew

" he has the most beautiful eyes , and his notebooks are all covered in little drawings. Also have you noticed him in class , how cute he is??"

Billy was rambling on and on about you , a thing unusual for him

And then Stu started noticing you more. In class and in the breaks.

They are stalkers

My boys will be following you home , knowing everything about you

Billy very strategically plans about how to approach you

When you all do end up getting together(how could you say no to those beauties and even if you could, they'd threaten you ) it is a mix of amazing and horrible

They cater to your every need. Stu is very rich , so you will miss nothing

They study with you

Or at least they'd try until Stu got bored and now somehow you all are in the kitchen eating

Is anyone annoying you? No , not anynore

They are willing to take it to the extremes for you, killing , stealing, vandalizing, the whole packet

You will never have one moment of peace with those boys. Not. One

They will excitedly support you to your studies and let me tell you , the praise you get every time you do good on a test , makes it all worth it

Sleepovers at Stu's

Billy is willing to give effort to school work , so maybe sometimes he will ask you to help him with something

You end up making out

Every single time

All of you watch unhealthy amounts of horrors together

Even better if you are the scared type , since they have you nestling in their arms in no time , your head buried at their chest in fear

They would be the type of yanders to kidnap you , but they wouldn't really have to , since they are more than capable at flirting

Now ,the bad stuff

Extremely jealous, I don't think you can even speak to male teachers , without them fantasizing about killing the person

Super clingy and obsessed, you will not be going out on you own or with friends

Expect being constantly checked and spied on by those bitches

Istg they have no idea what personal space means

Diaries , assignments and all are not hidden from them

You will be desperately trying to pay attention to school and they will be right there , talking , laughing or touching you

Their presence is so addictive , you find yourself unable to concentrate when reading if none of them is there , and there is no way in hell you are sleeping without their touch/ voice

You're cooked. I'm sorry

[soleminisanction]

I've always really liked DC's in-house choice of referring to their various superhero groupings as "families," but it has gotten a little frustrating recently with people both in canon and in fandom seeming to forget that families aren't just a parental-unit-and-kids formation. They're complicated, and a lot of the DC families are too messy to fit into that neat little nuclear family mode.

Which is to say... here's some scattered thoughts/summaries about how these families are actually structured in canon, because I think it's interesting:

Supers -- The smaller, more traditional Superfamily (Clark, Lois, Kara, Kon, etc.) is a pretty traditional Midwestern nuclear family, with Jimmy Olsen filling the role of close family friend/goofy neighbor sidekick (in the Silver Age, he was Kara's would-be suitor) and Steel feeling more like part of Clark's personal circle of friends. The recent line up, though, with Jon, the twins, Kong and Nat? Starts to feel more like some old dynasty or noble house, complete with fostered foundlings and the Steels acting almost like knights under a noble's banner, possibly reflective of what the House of El would have been on Krypton.

Arrows -- Might currently be the closet to a traditional nuclear family structure. You've got Ollie and Dinah, their younger sisters, Ollie's adopted and biological children, and Ollie's granddaughter through Roy, plus by some counts Roy's co-parent and her sister as "in-laws." Bonnie and Cissie King-Jones are adjacent to but not technically "part" of the family, though I believe it's implied at one point that Ollie might also be Cissie's bio-dad. Pretty straightforward, these guys are actually family and they act like it, for good and ill.

Shazam Family -- Also a literal, actual family. Not originally, the original golden age "Marvel Family" was considerably more complicated and only Billy and Mary were full siblings, but nowadays the whole point of the modern Shazam family is that they're foster siblings united by familial love and that's fantastic. Meanwhile your average Black Adam story is 75% angsty family drama, 25% Egyptian mythology references.

Flashes -- Technically closer to three nuclear families (the Allens, the Wests and the Garricks; four if you include the Quicks), two of whom are united by marriage and all of whom are bound by the Speedforce, which, given its semi-spiritual connections to things like Speedster afterlives, can act almost like a religious force that connects them to the additional members like Avery, Circuit Breaker and Max as Bart's foster-dad. They're a big, sprawling tree with more cousins than siblings, the kind of family that functionally has a reunion every Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Lanterns -- Now these guys are the exception that proves my point about the whole 'family' thing not being straightforward. The lanterns aren't a family, they're a corps. Soldiers. Space cops. Comrades-in-arms. They respect each other, have each other's backs, might even like or care about each other, but those last two are optional, and they don't have the same kind of assumed obligations towards each other that a family would have. They're friends and co-workers, not family, but that doesn't mean their relationships are less significant, they're just different.

Wonders -- Roughly half of them are either one of Hippolyta's daughters (Diana, Donna, Nubia pre-Crisis) or related to them through the gods (Cassie), and the other half (Artemis, Yara, modern-age Nubia) use sister as a term of endearment more in a utopian lesbian commune kind of way. I think they brought Steve Trevor back recently? He's basically the Ken in this equation and perfectly fine with that role. None of which should be surprising if you've seen Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Bats -- This is the one that people get really wrong when they try to force it into a traditional family structure. Don't let WFA fool you, the Bats are and have always been way more a snarled mess of tangled interpersonal relationships than they've ever been a cohesive family. Whether Dick is Bruce's son or his brother depends on what era you're talking about, and the former reading is much more recent than you think -- as in "started cropping up in the early 2000s" recent. Barbara is both Cassandra's sister and her mother. Duke and Steph both have living parents and neither of them want or would ever dream of treating Bruce like their dad; Tim was the same way until his dad died. None of the Robins ever lived in the mansion together, nor did Cass. Babs considered Jean-Paul Valley her brother and Huntress is so close to Tim she once hallucinated him calling her Big Sister. They're a beautiful mess of people finding places where their broken edges fit together into something that works for them and trying to reduce it down to a cozy nuclear family is just so goddamn reductive and lazy.

Blue Beetles -- Are only tangentially related to each other. Seriously, they never even get direct mentoring, each one just takes over when the previous one dies and works on completely different rules from the other two. They're complete strangers bound by a legacy and that's honestly pretty fun.

Zataras -- There's only three of them and they're literally a father, daughter and cousin.

Martians -- Not really a family because there's only the two of them, but an interesting case where the two survivors of what was functionally a war of mutually assured destruction came together in an attempt to find some peace in the aftermath of what they'd lost.

Titans -- The JLA and JSA aren't really in the "family" category, but the Titans lean into it hard, mostly because they're a textbook found family. They don't mirror a nuclear family structure, they're simply a group of people who came together to form a mutual support network. They're the idealized college friends you grew into your own with, some of them childhood companions and others you only met once you leave home for the first time, but all of them friends that you manage to maintain contact with for life, with everyone coming back together even as you scatter and do your own things.

Young Justice -- Meanwhile, this team is the chaotic group of misfits you hung out with when you were a teenager, especially when you were just starting to be allowed to act without adult supervision. You drive each other crazy, none of you know you're all queer as fuck, and you'd fight a bear for any of them even if they asked you not to. They'd probably be insulted if you tried to call them a family. They come out here to get away from their families, thank you very much.

[spookygibberish]

I am trying to think of what characteristics are important in designs for my stuff, what works and doesn't work, and it's very hard lmao.

For dagnyd designs I only really have a good sense of Jacanti's design language, but it walks a tightrope between decorative and functional. All dagnyds follow principles of other biological entities, and when they're ornate, they're ornate in a way that animals are. Especially fancy ones have lots of sculptural elements but what is Correct and what Isn't is so based on my own whims it's almost impossible to articulate.

Any dagnyd needs to be able to exist even if it's existence isn't comfortable. Something that actively looks like it's rotting doesn't work, but something that's experiencing the everyday torment of being born a pug is perfect.

Lots of "horror" designs don't actually work bc they don't look functional as creatures. No dagnyds should be especially recognizable as any particular animal, or just an animal with other animal bits stapled on. A lipless ghoul beast and a dog with wings both don't work equally. If something has exposed teeth they will need to be tusks that are designed for that. A dog with wings isn't transformed enough, it needs a humanlike face or hands or something too, or scales or a monkey tail or a vase for a head. The only dagnyds that are humanoid are almost entirely indistinguishable from humans (other than a mark on their back thats baisically a fancy keloid), none of them are JUST people shaped with extra stuff glued on. Lots of dagnyds also end up with masklike or "ceramic" faces. Even when this is the case they still need to be able to eat and shit and shit like that, all dagnyds have the standard suite of biological needs.

Dagnyds are also not really spec bio creatures. They should have thought out biology but they explicitly did not evolve and are created by people. Think of them more as preindustrial meat robots or fancy homunculi. They are tools created by people while also themselves being people.

Anyways have a Waterbearer as an example design

[vesppperoro]

Hello yes ME AGAIN!! Anyways I saw your writing on sloth reader and I had a question and a request if reader can like some what control their people with their voice, could they also be like a really great singer (when their not lazy) that was my question and for the request what if reader was in a reeeeeeaaallllyyyyy good mood an sang to her people (maybe after the battle with Adam since her people could not be sleeping right or not sleeping at all) like Sweets Dreams by Beyoncé take your time 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Belphegor!Reader with their people

Includes: Belphegor!Reader, Sloth Ring.

A/N: Kinda short and lazy sorry about that. Reader is seen as fem here, but you can imagine them as male voices if wanted.

Oh yeah. Belphegor!Reader can control people with their voice. Their voice is hypnotizing, even if they aren’t using their power.

They use that to their advantage. A lot. When things don’t go their way, they use their power.

That’s one of their jobs. A pop star, despite the fact they hate doing work.

After the battle and the Finale song, you go home to your people.

You were gone for so long, they didn’t know if they could function without you!

The second you got back to your home, you laid on the ground and popped a few sleeping pills. After doing so, you fell asleep for about 3 days.

When you awoke and were served food, you decided to check out the damage to your ring.

Some buildings destroyed, and panicked looking people on the streets.

You got intel on the fact that almost none of your people are sleeping well. They were too shaken up by the extermination.

That happens almost every extermination, but this one was worse.

Maybe it was because you disappeared without a word, or maybe it was the fact sinners went to war with angels. You weren’t sure.

You thought about a plan for a day. What could you do to uplift your people’s spirits?

A song. You had a performance coming up, so you could sing a reassuring song for them!

The day of your performance comes and it seemed like every Sloth Ring inhabitant showed up.

As they did, you began singing your first song. Your sweet, sweet voice filled the ring as you jumped around and displayed your powers.

While doing this, speckles of your power floated around your audience and put them in a slight hypnotized trance for a moment.

This gave them the ability to see the ending of the fight. Once they snapped out of it, they watched as you returned to the stage.

You were more active than ever. It made your people wary, but happy in a way.

If you’re happy, then there’s nothing to worry about.

After your song, Sweet Dreams by Beyoncé, ended, you stood in the middle of the stage while looking at your people.

Cheers erupted throughout the entire crowd.

You decided to take it up your song count. You normally only sing one song after a few decades.

But you decided to sing 3 this year.

Your next song was softer. It was about staying positive through life’s storms.

This song made your people cheer and sing with you. Clean by Taylor Swift made your people nearly cry.

During this song, you showed how you can stay positive even after war.

You jumped around on clouds, threw confetti, etc.

As your song finished, you stood on a platform that emerged in the middle of the ground.

The next song you sung was a little deeper. You thought it would be a good song to end on.

Rise up by Andra Day. This song was perfect for your situation.

You manipulated your voice to make your people tired. That was towards the end of your song.

As much as you hated working, you couldn’t do it without your people. You hoped your songs would help them.

And they did.

Reports of better sleep had surfaced and your businesses were booming now more than ever.

Your people will forever thank you for the stuff you’ve done.

Songs mentioned:

Sweet Dreams by Beyoncé

Clean by Taylor Swift

Rise Up by Andra Day

[fangirlings-things]

Being a part of the team would include headcanons

anon said: hello!! can I please request some headcanons where reader is a part of the fast and furious team and maybe even their reaction to finding out brian is a cop? thank you!!

A/N: heyy, love!! thank you for requesting, hope you like this, sorry for the long wait!

THIS IS SET IN THE FIRST MOVIE AND WITH THE ORIGINAL TEAM, WHILE BRIAN WAS WORKING UNDERCOVER

TAG LIST IS OPEN

You met Dom and Letty at a race night downtown

They like the respect you show others, treating them as equals despite whomever they were and of course, they like the way you drive

And so, they tell you to race with them

Although you lost to Dom, you did manage to beat Letty in a race, and she chuckles when you compliment her about her driving and says that you only won because of luck

She even tried to give you her car, as you two had bet, but you tell her to keep it. Your garage was too small for two cars anyway, and in that moment Dom decides he really likes you

He invites you to his house for a beer later on that day with them and some other friends, and you accept

Dom's house was quite welcoming. There were people entering and leaving through the front door and loud music came from the inside, as well as the smell of beers

Once inside, Dom and Letty gave you a Corona and introduced you to their team, their family

Jesse, Leon, Mia and Vince. They were all cool and welcomed you with taps on the shoulder and smiles, followed by laughing and congratulations when they heard you had beaten Letty on a race

After that day, you would often meet in races and enjoy some friendly time together

More and more, you started to get invited to their parties and family meals and when they told you to make the prayers one day before starting to eat, that's when you knew you had been completely and without a doubt accepted.

You were a part of their family now and as you had none ever since you were just a teen, you felt more than happy about having people to love and call yours

One year later, it felt like you had always been there with them, sharing almost every day and meal together. You had developed different relationships with all of them and yet, they all loved you and you loved them

Dom watched over you like a little sibling, always caring for your well being and making sure you were good. He deeply appreciated the time you spent in the garage together, fixing cars and drinking Coronas

Letty loves the fact that you are always up for anything she has in mind. Let's race? Sure, get in. Wanna grab a beer? Yeah, of course. Let's make some popcorn and watch a movie with the others in the living room? Turn on the TV, I'll grab the popcorn. You are very good friends, and that's special to her

Mia likes the fact that even though you run with the team and take part in all their dangerous doings, she has never seen you mistreating people or being violent without extreme necessity. Your heart is good, and she values that

Jesse feels comfortable enough around you to speak a lot about the functioning of the cars he is currently working on. You don't mind him sounding like a know-it-all, like the others sometimes do. He is very smart and gifted, and so you were very interested to know even a bit of what he knew

Leon enjoys your company for practically everything but what he likes the most, is when you and him go to the races together in the same car when you do not intend to run on that night and you keep watch over the police radio together while the others run. He used to do it alone all the time and to have a company for it, comment the races and compliment other people's cars, just makes him feel really good

Vince was a bit distant in the beginning. Not because he didn't like you, but that's just the way he is with strangers. He warmed up little by little to you and finally, after some months where racing and drinking together became a thing to you both, you came to the conclusion that you could finally call him a friend

Things went perfectly, you felt much better than when you lived all alone across the city and on top of that, you were all making really good money with the truck robbery's

And then, Brian came

The first few times you saw him eating those horrible sandwiches, you knew he was there just because of Mia. You teased her a lot about it, and she just rolled her eyes at you

Vince didn't like him at all, and more than once you had stopped him from just going and beating the blond right then and there

When Brian started racing with you and getting invited to the house, you were friendly with him, because that had been you in his place not so long ago

You liked the guy, even though he was most of the time too reckless for his own sake

You became friends too, and he would come to you to ask questions about things he didn't understand or about the others

And you casually tell him over a few beers in the porch, just enjoying the breeze and laughing together

When you found out he was a cop, you felt extremely betrayed

Because you had been the one to tell him a lot of the things he knew about the team and guilt consumed you

Also, he had been tricking Mia, and you loved her like a sister

You couldn't look him in the eye, couldn't believe he had been faking all that time you spent together, racing together

He wasn't your friend, he was just a cop doing undercover work

And that hurt you a great deal not just because he had hurt you

But also, because he had hurt your family

[athina-blaine]

kb/ms is truly transcendental yaoi, spectacular, amazing, 10/10, no notes ... from the perspective of a mithrun enjoyer

as a kabru enjoyer, however...

I'll start off by saying that of course Kabru doesn't want or need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled, especially not with a white man, none of them do, it's all non-canon, Dungeon Meshi isn't about romance or shipping, yes yes yes, but none of us are here for that right now!! We're here to fruitlessly argue why my blorbos kissing makes more sense than your blorbos kissing!! You know it, I know it, none of us are free of cringe!! Clown on clown violence!!

That being said ... 🤡

I just don't see what Kabru gets out of kb/ms. With Mithrun, it makes sense; Kabru has a huge impact on him and ultimately helps him reaffirm his will to live. That's very exquisite drama and excellent character writing. But with Kabru, I just don't feel that Mithrun's character interacts with his personal flaws and would instigate his growth anywhere close to the same degree. I have to imagine most fics involving them focus more on Mithrun's baggage and how Kabru helps him heal from that ... because that's mostly all that happens between them in the main story, lol!

And like, that makes sense, because ultimately chapters 61-62 aren't about Kabru and Mithrun; they're about Kabru working through his conflicted feelings in helping Laios conquer the dungeon. I think it's ironic seeing people complain about kb/ms having Kabru be Mithrun's accessory when, if anything, Mithrun's main narrative purpose, outside of illustrating the danger of the Winged Lion, is to serve as Kabru's obstacle. I'd even argue Mithrun represents Kabru's personal bad ending; Mithrun wants him to kill Laios and surrender the dungeon to the canaries, preventing the short-lived races from ever understanding how dungeons function and returning to the status quo that had gotten Utaya destroyed. It's only when Laios practically forces Kabru, straight up puts his thumbs to the screws, to work past his reticence and be emotionally vulnerable that Kabru finally puts himself on the right path to achieve his goals (it's, uh, still a bit of a bumpy ride, but they get there in the end, lol!). If he'd been this way with Laios from the beginning, he might have understood Laios' intentions from the start and saved himself a lot of pain, but it's only because of Laios' influence that Kabru is able to grow as a character and get his happy ending.

(And even if one were a Mithrun enjoyer, ultimately the main source of Mithrun's life affirmation comes from the canaries. In that final scene, Kabru gets the ball rolling because he's outside of the canary hierarchy, but the scene ends with Mithrun being embraced by the canaries and as far as I'm aware the two don't interact with or reference each other post canon at all. Hell, it's Senshi who really drives the point home. Not that it matters when we're all wearing shipping goggles here, but it felt remiss not to mention it.)

At most, I can see how taking care of Mithrun would force Kabru to reexamine how poorly he takes care of his own body and that could make for some good drama. But even then, that change is ultimately instigated by Laios' influence on him, an extension of how Kabru wants to understand how Laios can see the value in monsters in an attempt to better understand his own trauma. If a person were to get into Dungeon Meshi specifically for Kabru and wanted to ship him with someone in a way that's most interesting for him, I'd be hard-pressed to argue there's a better choice than Laios (although who'd be cringe enough to do something like that haha right guys ... [sweating])

(Side note, though, I really don't vibe with the argument that kb/ms "reduces Kabru to a caretaker role" and that's why it's bad. There's plenty of instances where Kabru shoulders his friends' burdens (helps Kuro learn common tongue, listens to Daya's fiance about his relationship troubles, etc) and, more importantly, is seemingly happy to do so. I think Kabru genuinely enjoys looking after his friends and in the story seems to find plenty of personal satisfaction getting Mithrun to eat. I understand it has the potential to be more troubling considering Kabru is a brown man and Mithrun is a white man, but idk, it just feels on the same level as people trying to discount labru by saying Laios wouldn't take enough of an interest in people to want to start a romantic relationship, when his whole thing is that he does want to connect with people and just feels like he can't. It's not a bone I feel like picking, haha)

I honesty don't mind characters being "mischaracterized" in fandom or fic even to a large degree, I know it bugs a lot of people but I respect that ultimately fandom is little more than picking up the vague outline of a doll and playing with it and mashing their faces together. Besides, if I'm really worked up about it I can just write a fic and set the record straight myself, haha. This post is merely inspired by the supremely annoying subsection of twitter that acts like labru is the ship where it's just two dudes sitting in a room together. I'm just saying, Kabru ends the series whispering into the ear of another man as his day job and it's not Mithrun lmao

[deliciouskeys]

Cozy Corner Domaystic prompts #16: Going through immigration and #24: Identity theft.

Guys. Guys, I’ll be honest. I have no idea what possessed me. I think I found these two prompts as some of the most challenging to imagine as a domestic fic, and… my thinking got a little bit too outside the box.

This fic will have an intended audience of about 1 (me). But I want to give major major props to @olliveolly who introduced me to this game and was the one who came up with this That’s Not My Neighbor / Boys crossover AU (with a couple lovely art pieces on the theme). The “lore” of this horror game is very simple. Tell me you don’t see it:

Butchlander. That’s Not My Neighbor crossover/AU. Rated E (why). 3.3k words (why). 2nd person to allegedly reflect the feeling of first-person gameplay (why). Is this domestic fic? Welllllll. It takes place in an apartment complex so it counts, right? Lax interpretation of ‘going through immigration’ but honestly that’s what this game really reminds me of 😂 AO3 link

Another day, another interminable shift working as the concierge in the dreary lobby of this apartment complex. It was exciting at first, sure, what with getting to play the first and last line of defense against the doppelganger monsters that attempt to sneak in every single day. But you’ve just gotten too good at noticing discrepancies. Nothing gets past you anymore. You know every single feature- hell, every single freckle! -of every single resident in the building. By this point you’ve got all their phone numbers memorized, for no better reason than there is simply too much tedium to this job. You find yourself wishing you could actually watch the D.D.D. ‘decontaminate’ the lobby, as they so euphemistically put it, instead of just sitting there twiddling your thumbs behind a pulled down rollup metal shutter after summoning them. You could still make out screams without seeing the brutality, and you knew the D.D.D. employed flame throwers and other serious weapons to deal with these monsters. Sometimes you caught yourself feeling just a little bit of sympathy for the doppelgangers, even though their main goal in life appeared to be to imitate people to blend in and then feed upon human flesh, and your main goal in life was supposed to be to ensure none of them would ever get let in through the locked inner door.

John Gillman comes in through the first door and gives you a tired, nominal wave before fishing around in his pockets for his documents to gain entry. He might be your favorite resident— always polite, always in that clean-cut milkman uniform at least when you happen to see him, because no one really leaves the apartment building outside of work obligations. There’s no nightlife in New York anymore, not with everyone nervous of dark alleys or being alone on the street, especially after dark. When you came over here from London, you certainly didn’t expect to get stuck here during a worldwide apocalyptic event like this that has resulted in curfews and lockdowns. You certainly didn’t expect to get zero action and get a mindnumbing job just to make ends meet. It was probably still more interesting than your gig working as a bouncer back in London, but at least you got fresh air there, and sometimes a date to go home with after closing time. Maybe that’s why you’ve started hyperfixating and daydreaming about one of the residents— the involuntary celibacy is getting to you.

John just always looks uncannily attractive. Maybe it’s that silly uniform that’s easy to fetishize. Maybe it’s because his tired eyes also look like bedroom eyes, or the dark circles function the same way eyeliner would. Why is he always so tired anyway? You know he lives alone up there in F03-02. He never gets any visitors either. How much can a person masturbate, really? There’s a rumor around the building that Becca Saunders’ tyke might be his, but you don’t really see the resemblance, and have your doubts that this didn’t just start as a “sleeping with the milkman” joke that got out of hand. People just like to gossip about single mothers. Things like this shouldn’t be considered scandalous. It’s 1955 for god’s sake!

“Sorry, William,” John says, hurriedly shoving his ID and entry request form underneath the glass so you can take take a look. “Almost thought I left my ID at work.”

“Long day, huh?” you ask without expecting a reply, pretending to scrutinize the documents while making small talk. You know this is John. You’d know him from a mile away. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little bit of fun. “Looks okay, and you are on the list of people authorized to come and go today. But can you take off your cap?”

John grabs his milkman cap off his head, exposing a mop of blond hair, looking mussed after being under the hat all day. You really wish you could test him, see how far you’d be able to take things before he refused to cooperate. Take off your shirt, John. Gotta make sure it’s really you. You never know these days. But of course you don’t. All you’ll have is your fantasies about breaching every code of ethics and using your master key to gain entrance into his apartment, seducing him, ravishing him right in the middle of what must be a depressing bachelor pad. Give him much darker undereye circles by keeping him up all night. Give this apartment complex a more interesting rumor to spread about the milkman in their midst.

“You’re good to go,” you say and press the green unlock button to let him in. He gives you a wan smile and walks out of view, and you listen to his footsteps ascending the stairs.

The rest of the afternoon is uneventful, only a few people coming and going, and a couple of doppelgängers with laughably strange appearance or bad credentials being dispatched quickly. Or at least it’s uneventful until John walks in, just a little bit past curfew.

“Hey William,” he says, sounding distracted, rummaging in his pockets for his documents as a cold sweat breaks out on your forehead. This better be a doppelganger, you think to yourself. But he has both his ID and the entry request filled out correctly. He looks identical to the John that passed by here a couple of hours earlier. This can’t be.

You start dialing John’s number, not taking your eyes off the man in front of you.

John’s eyes widen with alarm when he sees that you get an answer from the other end of the line.

“Yes, hello? John here. I’m not expecting any visitors.”

You hang up pretty abruptly, staring at the John in front of you, searching his appearance for any subtle defect or inconsistency but finding none. Your finger is hovering over the alarm button.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you think I’m someone else? It’s me, William! I swear to god it’s me! I don’t know who you let in earlier, and who’s answering the phone now, but it’s not me up there!”

And shit, you believe him. You must have fucked up. Gotten smug and sloppy. Maybe the doppelganger handed you a fake ID but you didn’t notice because you were too busy daydreaming about fucking him.

“William, please believe me, please!” John is pressing up against the glass at this point, clearly scared that you’re going to quarantine him in the lobby and sic the D.D.D. on him. They don’t tend to ask questions. You’ve never had it happen, but you’ve heard of innocent people getting snuffed out on the mere suspicion of being doppelgangers, the D.D.D. rarely admitting to such mistakes even after the fact.

“Alright, alright, I believe you. I just have to think…” you mumble. “I’ll let you in, but don’t go up to your flat. We have to figure this out.”

John nods frantically and slips into your office after you buzz him in.

“What are you going to do?” he asks, and if you weren’t scared shitless at the moment, you’d probably get a kick out of how vulnerable and scared his expression is compared to his usual tired, impassive one.

“I should call the D.D.D. and get them to go up there,” you think out loud.

“Won’t you get reprimanded?” John asks, and oh how sweet of him to worry about your job when you’ve fucked up so royally and almost gotten him killed with your negligence. Maybe already gotten some of his neighbors killed.

“I just don’t want you losing your job over this— you’re the best concierge we have,” he says and then looks down shyly, as if realizing how strange that concern is.

What is this? Are you dreaming? Maybe you’re just out of your mind with adrenaline, but John sounds like he’s got feelings for you.

“Let’s just go up there and see what’s going on,” he says, and damn he’s persuasive as fuck. You want to go and deal with the mess you made, and protect him.

“I’ll go up there and just check,” you say, hardly believing yourself as you grab the fire extinguisher from the wall as a makeshift weapon. Everyone who was scheduled to return to the building has, so you shouldn’t get any more legitimate people coming through, but you still tape up a note that you’ll be back at your post in a few minutes. “Right then. You just stay down here and wait. I don’t want you putting yourself at risk. If I’m not back in five, call the number on the post-it.”

John shakes his head and follows you up the stairs. “I’m not letting you go up there alone,” he says in that quiet irresistible voice and you start to wonder if there’s something strange going on. Why are you going on this potentially suicidal mission to deal with a doppelganger on your own? So what if you get fired? No job is worth your life, right? But you probably wouldn’t see John ever again if you lost this job and that’s clouding all your judgment right now.

Knocking on John’s apartment door is probably not a good idea, and will just give the monster inside time to prepare or hide. So you take out your master key and turn it in the lock as quietly and quickly as you can. The door swings opens with an ominous creak, revealing a dark living room with no sign of anyone there. Did he hear you coming up the stairs? You try to keep John behind you and shield him in case anything sudden happens from within the apartment, but then you feel a strong push from behind and both you and John are in the flat now.

You’re so stupid, so critically, fatally stupid. The John you let in earlier was the real one. You’ve let a doppelganger convince you that you made a mistake, and now you did let one in. You whirl around, try to hit him upside the head with the fire extinguisher you’re brandishing, but he blocks the move with little effort.

“I thought we agreed,” he says, and you realize he’s speaking not to you but past you to someone else in the room.

“Thursdays are my days,” an identical voice answers from behind you and you step back and try to make sense of what you’re seeing. Two John Gillmans, both in the same uniform, neither one looking the least bit spooked, both looking mildly irritated if anything.

“Since when,” the John who came up behind you asks of the other one. “I get to be here every other day, doesn’t matter what day of the week it is.”

“So now what are we going to do about him?” the John who was in the apartment asks, pointing to you. “Why didn’t you just leave once he called me? Are you stupid?”

Your heart may be racing, but your thinking feels as slow as molasses. They’re …. both doppelgangers?

“What have you done with the real John Gillman?” you whisper hoarsely. The twins turn to look at you and you’re creeped out by the very similar smirk that spreads across both of their faces. They’re really impeccable facsimiles of the real person, but this is an expression you’ve never seen on John.

“You’ve never met the ‘real John Gillman’,” one of them says.

There’s enough cold sweat that’s broken out on your back that it starts to trickle down as drops.

“We like you William. It would be such a shame for our friendship to end.”

You hold up the fire extinguisher in front of yourself defensively, but you’re not sure you can really do anything against two of them. You’ve never noticed before, and maybe the real John’s teeth didn’t look like this, but the two doppelgangers have sharp looking canines when they’re grinning. It’ll serve you right to get devoured in this dark flat for making so many mistakes and bad decisions in a row today.

“So you’re just going to kill me then?” you ask.

“We’d really rather not,” one of the twins says. “A murder would bring a lot of snooping law enforcement if not the D.D.D. Itself.”

“And it’s so hard to find good lodging to spend the night.”

They must be joking. “You really expect me to believe you’re not just here to eat people?”

One of the twins rolls his eyes. “Eat people! Yeah, that’s why we’re here, clearly.”

“Has anyone in this apartment building ever disappeared in all the months you’ve worked here?” the other one asks.

“How should I know?” You’re beginning to feel like this has to be some sick nightmare. You can’t possibly be having a civil conversation with a couple of cannibal monsters. This thought has a strange calming effect on you. “If I didn’t know you lot were masquerading as John Gillman, how am I to know how many other residents are real people?”

The twins turn to each other, still smiling and shrugging.

“We’ve been on a vegetarian diet for a while,” the other says and you can’t help but bark out a laugh.

“Laugh all you want,” the other one says, spreading his hands in concession. “But milk is more than enough to sustain us. We do think people are delicious, but there’s one thing we like much more than eating them.”

“And what’s that?” you ask, emboldened by the possibility that you’re just in a ridiculous, paranoid, bad dream of a worst case scenario at your job.

“We’ve been watching you William. We think you’ve been interested in us.”

“We’ve never fucked anyone from this building, and never fucked together, but there’s a first time for everything, right?”

You just stand there, fire extinguisher still raised up defensively. No question about it, this must be a nightmare that’s slowly but surely twisting itself into a sexual fantasy.

“Come on, William. Let’s make you comfortable.”

You can hardly protest as one gently pulls your makeshift weapon out of your loose grip, and the other one sweeps you off your feet with preternatural superhuman ease and carries you over to the couch in this sparsely furnished apartment.

Gentle but insistent hands undo the buttons on your trousers and then maneuver you so they can pull them off completely and free your legs.

“Humans are such fun creatures,” one of the Johns comments when he sees that despite your fear of the situation unfolding right now, you are sporting a half-hearted hard-on. It somehow only gets harder when you hear them talk about people as another species.

Both Johns are still fully dressed, situating themselves to kneel on the floor on either side of you. It’s wild. You must be dreaming. And as you watch both Johns lean forward, extending their tongues and licking your cock up and down from opposite sides, you realize that if this is a dream, you never want to wake up.

They know what they’re doing. They bring you right up to the edge of orgasm and then pull away, leaving you feeling desperate and even annoyed. You’re not annoyed for long though as they both strip down, and you see that their human-mimicking powers are perfect, down to the most minute details that would never be seen under clothes. Granted, you don’t know what John Gillman looked like naked, so maybe they’ve taken artistic license and embellished. Whatever it is, they’ve compared notes, because they still look indistinguishable to you.

“Like what you see?” one of them asks and you realize you I’ve been staring, maybe even with your mouth hanging open. You never imagined you’d hook up with a doppelganger, let alone two of them at once. But you have imagined foisting yourself on John in this very flat, and you’re about to live that daydream.

You end up doing things with the two of them beyond what you’ve ever dreamed of. You fuck one of them, and at the same time get fucked by the other one from behind, the cheap bed’s metal joints creaking and moaning from the motion of three bodies rocking against each other. You let them suck your cock and rim you to get you back in the mood for another round, trying not to think about how unsettlingly hungry they both look, and who they really are underneath the human-looking exterior. The exterior slips periodically when they’re in the throes of pleasure. You wince when they betray just how strong they really are, whenever they flip you over or change positions, as if you weigh nothing. You try not to pay attention when their eyes start glowing red when they’re particularly turned on, but it’s impossible to ignore in the darkness of the bedroom.

“William, you are fucking delicious,” one of them declares, licking his lips obscenely after swallowing down your cum, and all you can do is emit a short nervous chuckle, and think that even if they do decide to eat you at the end of all of this— either to cover their tracks, or just because they might start feeling peckish after all this is over— it will still have been worth it.

You don’t get eaten. In fact, you’ve had the time of your life, and as you get up from the bed and mumble that you have to get back to your post before your shift is over, the two Johns lie languid, naked on the bed watching you, each enjoying a post coital glass of milk (that’s all they have in the fridge— you saw when they opened it), like perfect mirror images.

“You won’t be making any unnecessary phone calls, right William?”

“We can count on you to be discreet and keep a secret, right?”

Through the combined haze of being scared for your life and then having the time of your life, there’s still one thing that bothers you, and you ask about it, against all your best self-preservation instincts.

“So what have you done with the real John Gillman?”

They turn to look at each other, not exactly conspiratorial but it still makes you uneasy.

“Oh, John Gillman never existed. We’ve been around a lot longer than you humans think. Many of us never tried to replicate and replace real humans.”

“Yeah, and a lot of good that did when some of us started! The ones who are doing it are the reason we’re being hunted now. Unoriginal hacks. And so bad at mimicking too.”

“So many embarrassing ones out there.” They both nod at each other.

You’d like to believe them. You really would. “So why choose this persona?”

“The milkman gets free milk and gets around in your society! And humans seem to like this look,” one of them says, grinning and gesturing with his hand over their naked bodies.

“But we only ever get to enjoy bored housewives.”

“And why are there two of you?” you ask hesitantly, glancing at the clock on the wall to verify that you’re not late yet.

“Oh there’s more than two of us,” one of them says and they laugh in unison in a way that sends a chill down your spine.

~~~

You think you’ve got it all worked out. You’re letting the John Gillmans stay in the apartment undisturbed, and you let them through even when it’s obvious that there’s more than one of them coming and going. You figure it’s a win-win. They promise to protect the building from any rogue doppelgangers who infiltrate and intend to harm the residents, and in return get a place to stay the night peacefully. You get to visit apartment F03-02 after your shift ends and have mind-blowing sex. They seem to enjoy the orgies as well. They know your shift hours and try to only come and go during those times. There doesn’t seem to be a problem with this arrangement.

Or at least not a problem that you’re going to make into your problem. When one of the Johns walks in, visibly smeared in blood, you do give him a hard time.

“Come on, John. Just because I’ll let you in, doesn’t mean you can just stop trying to look decent. God forbid I call in sick and someone else is here.”

John shrugs and goes through the formality of pushing his ID and entry request under the glass window.

“And get a new ID…” you tell him when you see bloody fingerprints all over the worn paper.

John shrugs, doing his usual tired act, despite how ridiculous it looks to be so bored and nonchalant when he’s smeared in blood.

“Whose blood is that, anyway?” you ask, wondering why you’re not more disturbed.

“Someone who was of no consequence and who won’t be missed,” John replies, terse and cool as a cucumber.

“I thought you said you were vegetarian?”

“I’ll take a cheat day if I run into a wifebeater,” John says, shrugging.

You buzz him in, telling him to get washed up before someone sees him, wondering if you’re being colossally naive to believe his story, and wondering if you’ve got a death wish because you’re still looking forward to going up there once your shift ends in a few hours.

(What in the world. 💀)

ETA: now with another art piece by @olliveolly

[crazylittlejester]

I'd absolutely love to hear what you have to say about Time 🙃 /gen

And, I hope you are feeling well. I think you said you were dizzy? I hope that gets better 🫶

I’m feeling much better, thank you!! I hope you’re going good as well :)

Sorry this took me a whole day to type out, but I finished!! I got it!!

I have a lot more thoughts, I had to cut a lot for the sake of making it readable and not obnoxiously long so I really hope I still get my points across well 😭 , but here we go:

An Abridged Version of My Thoughts on Time (I’m Insane I’m Sorry):

Okay so I’m starting off this whole thing by saying that 100% of this is my opinion and the research I did was done specifically to back my stance (which does not make it canonical fact. You can do research to back any point. You can do research to argue against my point, even). This doesn’t make my perspective or interpretation of a character the correct one by any means, and this definitely leans towards how I personally characterize and view him and is biased in that way because I’m the one who wrote it. All of you are entitled to your own opinions, you don’t have to agree with or listen to a single thing I say. In fact if you do disagree I encourage you to reblog and share your OWN thoughts so I can read YOUR perspective! I like seeing opinions people have and I love to see how differently all of us can view the same character /gen. I just that ask if you do do this, that you be kind and respectful to myself and others :)

This entire yap, analysis, whatever you wanna call it, is my perspective on Time and my thoughts behind why I believe he acts the way he does. At some point in all this I’m specifically going to focus on how he’s acting at the end of the Dawn arc and in the more recent updates. However in order to talk about that I wanna go to the beginning and talk about his past, the environment he grew up in, his relationships with others, and how I believe that has shaped the way he functions as an adult. My apologies now for being insane, unfortunately I have no life and also a lot of thoughts, and full access to a college library full of case studies- My professors would be so proud… Hope y’all enjoy lmao

Loneliness and Isolation:

One of the first things I noticed when I started playing OOT was this divide between Link and the Kokiri. Despite the fact that none of them know he’s actually a hylian, the bullying and teasing and the way they treat him for not having a fairy feels as though they’re making him to be different from them. Even Saria and the Great Deku Tree speak to/about him in ways that make it seem that, even though they care about him, they do see him as different from the others. (Granted, Saria’s treatment of Link is likely fully an unintentional thing. She doesn’t mean to be cruel when she makes her comment about how after Link got his fairy he could be a real Kokiri because she is a child and probably didn’t think about how that would come off to a kid who’s been arguably treated as less than for not having a fairy this entire time. She’s probably aware of how upset he’s been, but they’re children and I doubt she realized her attempt at comfort potentially made Time feel worse. The Great Deku Tree, on the other hand, referring to him as ‘the boy without a fairy’ immediately makes it clear to us as the player that Link is different from the Kokiri. He knows Link is hylian, which is something the player, Link, and the Kokiri do not know at this point)

Not having a fairy like the others certainly separates Time from the Kokiri because having a fairy companion appears to be a huge deal, something everyone has in common except for him. While it isn’t really on the same scale, I imagine this feeling of not having something your friends do could be, to an extent, comparable to how it would feel if all your peers had cell phones or social media access and you did not. (BAD EXAMPLE I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.) The ability to consume media at such a fast pace and share jokes and trends with peers has become something to bond over, and being outside of that ‘world’ would leave someone to feel like they’re missing out on something they couldn’t possibly understand unless they get it for themselves. When your friends all have phones and you don’t, you have to sit there awkwardly when they all pull them out to text people or look things up, even if you’re doing something that doesn’t even require being on your phone, like going to the mall or hanging out. Sure they might show you a meme or two, but you can’t show them your memes, or share things and exist in the online world the way they do. Time could see and interact with the others’ fairies but he didn’t have that for himself, and I imagine it was probably hard for him to bond with the Kokiri because of it. Even if they were just playing a game or messing around and he wasn’t even being teased for not having a fairy of his own, those other fairies were right there as a constant reminder that Time didn’t have his own companion because he was, for a reason he couldn’t understand, different

Having played Skyward Sword and the beginning of Twilight Princess and seeing how both of those Links are treated by the people around them in comparison to how the Kokiri interact with Time, it feels safe to say there’s a good possibility he felt out of place and a little isolated by his own community. The way he was seemingly blamed for the death of the Great Deku Tree after finding out the life altering information that he is different probably did nothing but cause further divide between himself and the Kokiri in his mind, if not completely sever the connection he had between himself and that community

Do I think the Kokiri completely excluded him and intentionally tried to isolate him? No, I do not. However it’s clear that Saria was his best friend and the others weren’t always the nicest to him. It’s not too far a stretch to say he probably felt very lonely at times in his childhood, more so than the average kid

The theme of isolation and loneliness continues when the timeline shenanigans happen at the end of OOT and Time is now the only one who knows what happened to him. He has absolutely nothing to show for what he physically just went through and he can tell people about it all he wants but they’ll never understand because for them it simply never happened. Once again Time is isolated from this community he finds himself a part of because he’s different from them in a way they cannot relate to, driving a wedge between him and the rest of society. And Malon and Zelda are not people who would intentionally drive him further from feeling like he can belong, but they will forever be different from him in a way none of them now have the power to control. He formed relationships with them and with other people that were then erased. He knows a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore (in the timeline he continued to live in), and he’s alone in that. There IS no fix to that problem

Attachment Styles and Development

Relationships are crucial to child development and the connections formed when we’re young impact the way we create and view our relationships in adulthood. Peer relationships are just as important as parental ones because they play a different role. While your friends are the ones who have more of an impact on things like your music tastes, interests, and sense of identity/role within your group of peers, it’s your parents/caregivers who teach you right from wrong (often religion plays a part in that as well though not always), are responsible for feeding you and helping you learn new skills as a young child. Having a secure attachment and good relationship to caregivers when you’re young really impacts how you seek comfort as an adult and how you form relationships with others. Children whose parents or caregivers responded to their distress in unpredictable ways (by offering comfort sometimes and being unable to other at times, for an example) are less likely to seek out those figures for comfort or be soothed by them when the comfort is offered. I have no idea exactly how old Time was when he was placed with the Kokiri or what his mother was like, but I feel it’s fair to say the Great Deku Tree was probably the closest thing to a parental figure/caregiver (while he was living with the Kokiri) that he has any memory of. And I also feel it’s fair to say that as the stationary tree guardian of a bunch of immortal children, it was pretty impossible for him to support all of those kids’ emotional needs

Making this assumption based solely on Navi’s role in the story and what she does for us as players of the game: I feel like the fairy companions might almost be more of a parental/caregiver like figure to the Kokiri children than the Great Deku Tree is, simply because they’re able to be around them more. Navi helps Time (and the player) find things, gives clues, and helps the player with the game controls, so inside the actual game I think it’d be fair to say she (and other fairies) have more of a hands on role in guiding these children than the Great Deku Tree. And again, Time didn’t have that, not until his adventure started. He didn’t have a fairy companion while his friends and peers did, he was on his own. He wasn’t getting that potential comfort from a reliable caregiver the others were, which I believe can be partly responsible for how determined he is to solve his own issues. (Of course personality also has a play in things like this, and as we all know the hero’s spirit is incredibly fucking stubborn.) He was taught through the failures of the ‘adult’ figures in his life that the only one who’d be there to really comfort him was him

Identity and Relationships

Apart from feeling alone and not having the same types of companionship his peers did, I firmly believe Time seriously struggled with identity issues as well. Being told he wasn’t enough for the Master Sword yet, just to then be suddenly physically several years older and expected to operate as an adult despite having less than a decade of life experience, back to being shoved into the body of a child after living through horrors and accumulating scars that are now just gone doesn’t real make for the most confident, mentally stable of people. The message he most likely took from that was “You’re not enough as you are.”

He was a hero who saved a kingdom, then forgotten when everything was set back, and then abandoned by the one person (fairy) who went through it all with him after it was all done. If he’d felt alone or isolated in his youth before all that happened, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all those emotions were after all that. He needed Navi because she’s the only one who can really validate what he went through, she was the only one who could have understood him. She was a guardian and a friend and he couldn’t figure out why she left him, which must’ve just been absolutely devastating.

He was still just a kid, with no one to talk to about these issues. (Though he sort of works through some of them on his own through helping others in Majora’s Mask. Granted that left him with new issues even if it may have helped him work through a few old ones. I think there are quite a lot of similarities between Link and Skull Kid, but that’s a yap for another day.) I can imagine that both his identity and what he was supposed to do with himself were things he questioned constantly, and building relationships with people was probably very difficult for him when he hadn’t fully worked out himself. And he didn’t really have someone to comfort him or help him figure all that out

At a certain point, I think the feeling of being alone became almost a comfort to him. It was the most reliable thing he had, he could handle things on his own and that was something he knew for fact. He learned how to deal with his emotions and issues (maybe not in the healthiest of ways in his youth), and instead of being so suffocating, the isolation became something he could CONTROL. With all the instability throughout his childhood, the fact that he could reliably be on his own without dealing with the unpredictability of others was probably a relief. He didn’t have to worry about people leaving or getting hurt because he couldn’t protect them, but that didn’t really replace the feeling of loneliness so much as sloppily cover it up

Malon and the ranch are things that have been able to give him something he hadn’t had in years, which was stability and companionship. He’s been alone and isolated or dealing with loss his entire life, but she’s able to provide him with something steady, something safe to come back to. That’s been absolutely huge for him in regards to the healing process, because not only is it said in LU that she believes him completely, she’s literally his biggest supporter. And having a sturdy location and person to come back to at the end of whatever little trips he probably continued to go off to gave him comfort while still allowing him to keep that feeling of control over himself and his life. Sure not everything is perfect all the time and relationships are things that you have to put time, effort, and patience into, but he’s allowed to have his support and his much needed feeling of control over his life at the same time while living in that scenario. She loves him, she loves him very much and I have no doubt they worked together to get him to the place of comfort he’s at now. The panels from any of the ‘Malon’ posts are really the most relaxed we’ve seen Time for long stretches of time, it’s clear he’s been able to make a safe space for himself there

And now here’s the part where I actually talk about the recent comic update(s)!!!!!!!! (Yippee!!!)

Time is a very quiet, stoic character in LU especially when compared to the others, which are qualities that pull a lot from the hero’s shade. He’s the unofficial official leader, and he’s at a point in his life where he’s been able to work on himself and form healthy relationships (not perfect ones, but healthy ones built on communication which is clearly a struggle for him still but I cannot afford to get into that this post because that’s way too much. If y’all want a yap about that, ask me later). He puts a lot of stress and pressure onto himself, because he feels as though he’s responsible for these younger heroes, even though some of them have far more experience than he does

But in addition to this, he’s absolutely terrified of caring about people, and he’s not used to working with other people in this area of his life. Because no one sticks around, and if they do, what’s stopping the timeline from resetting somehow and taking their memory of him away? He no longer has the stability and comfort that comes with being alone because he’s forced to work with other people, other heroes who are equal to him in that regard, and people are unpredictable. And with unpredictability comes loss of control

Anger is an easier emotion for a child to process, and express themself through. This is why depression in children often manifests itself as anger. Children dealing with depression have a harder time managing and controlling their anger and can come off as snappier, inattentive, and reckless (obviously this is not the same case for every single child). While he certainly isn’t a child anymore in LU, I think Time is still someone who when overwhelmed is quick to anger, but this does not mean that he’s not kind. He’s incredibly kind and caring, and you can tell he loves everyone around him so deeply even though he’s probably a bit angry at himself for letting them all worm their way into his heart because he’s going to have to let them go some day. But still, some of that snappiness comes through even in his adult years and he’s a lot harsher with the others than I believe he intends to be. He’s not genuinely angry at them, he’s mad at the situation they’re in right now because he’s no longer responsible for just himself. He doesn’t have control anymore, and he’s probably back to feeling like a scared child who might be about to lose everyone again and he hates that

Twilight got hurt and he blames himself for it. He’s in an unfamiliar situation with people he cares a lot about who are all just as reckless and determined as he is, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself because in his mind if he lets something happen to one of these boys, that’s on him and he should’ve done better

Ough (A Continuation of ‘Isolation’)

In a way Time exists on a different level of the timeline. He retained memories of things that no longer exist, and he’s witnessed the rewritting of time over and over again. The timeline he was born in may no longer be the one he exists in, though it certainly branched from that original one. He has knowledge and memories of relationships that are real to only him in the timeline where he lives, and I would argue that because of this, he lives outside of society

Now this genuinely has nothing to do with anything I just wanna yap about something because The Voices, and it’s gonna be a fucking reach but if you’ve stayed this long you must find something appealing about my incoherent rambling so allow me to draw a genuinely insane comparison between Time and his existence in society and ‘The Lady of Shallot’, written in 1832 by a poet by the name of Alfred Tennyson. If you have no idea what this is, it’s incredibly short and easy to find with a quick google search, and I encourage you to read it. But for those of you who didn’t sign up for a poetry assignment today I’ll summarize

The Lady of Shallot is cursed to stay in a tower away from the rest of society and she’s unable to look upon Camelot with her own eyes, because something bad will happen if she does though she has no idea what. Day after day she creates these tapestries of what she sees of the society behind her through a mirror. She’s unable to look at it with her own eyes so what she creates is unable to perfectly reflect what it is the world has to offer. And she’s absolutely sick of it, she sees happy people wandering down below, knights riding through, she sees through her mirror what life is like for those within society and she wants to join them. She sees a beautiful man one day (Lancelot) and decides the curse is worth it, just for a chance to leave her tower, so she turns around and sees Camelot with her own eyes. She leaves her tower and goes to join society but by the time she gets there she’s dead

Now one of the meanings hidden within this is how artists are almost outside of society and that is how they are able to so accurately depict it, and that joining society and being ‘normal’ would make them unable to keep their unique perspective that isolation provides. But I’m going to be crazy here and draw parallels to a video game character because I CAN

Time exists outside of society and is isolated from every community he tries to be a part of because the differences between him and the Kokiri/normal hylian are so significant he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Despite having built his sense of identity back up, he still, to an extent, feels like an outsider. The things he’s been through separate him from being able to just be a normal guy, and he craves so badly to be part of a community he’s almost convinced himself he CANNOT join. The chain (and Malon, but mainly the other heroes) help him have something to connect to, because while they may not have the exact same experience they understand him more than anyone else ever could. He then tries to join society, something happens, and he dies a warrior full of regrets

Is it a reach? Yeah. But I like the poem and I can’t stop thinking about the parallels (that I’ve probably completely fucking made up at this point) every time I think too long about Time and it makes me claw at the dry wall and scream. I’m so normal…

Anyways, *weak cough* thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot that you’ve supported my insanity. I hope this is coherent-

Thanks Emmie for reading through this for me 😭, and special shoutout to every single one of you who sent me asks yesterday to remind me to write this I love you all sm actually:

@trash-aged-like-fine-wine @rebornofstars @blueskybehindtheclouds @captainn-hook @ghosttoasts

[nerdieforpedro]

Her smile was worth it

Pero Tovar (modern AU) x plus size female reader (La jefa)

Word Count: 1882

Warnings: DARK FIC, mobs and their enforcers, mentions of general violence and graphic violence, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of injuries, solving problems Tovar style, comfort food and tea

Summary: Pero Tovar only has a few people he chooses to interact with willingly. The bookstore owner is one of them. Someone made a very stupid mistake, Tovar will handle it and still have his tea.

Notes: This was written for @iamasaddie ‘s writing challenge 2.0. My color was Mob Enforcer and the prompt was “Hurt/Comfort” and “Who did this to you?” We're longer than a Drabble again, we dribbled quite a bit. Such is Nerdie.

I may have leaned too hard into the ‘hurt portion’ but we’ll see. 👀

Main Masterlist/ Pero Tovar Masterlist/ Writing Challenges

The only good thing about doing collections, was that most of the time, Pero wasn’t using violence. Just intimidation. The shopkeepers knew why he was here and knew the amount they needed to pay to The Family. It’s been the same amount for the past six months, in was raised temporarily for some needed repairs on the club the Valentino family owned. The actual story was that a few of the younger members had been ordered to torture a few members of a rival family and went overboard. The walls, floors and everything needed to be scrubbed. 

Tovar’s been with the Valentino family for fifteen years and as one of their premier enforcers for the last seven working his way up from errand boy. His height and broad frame discourage crossing him, and even if someone is dumb enough to do so, they find themselves bloodied, battered and with at least one thing broken. 

Today’s last stop for collections was planned and one that Pero normally did by himself. The bookstore owner also functions as the town’s librarian since the town doesn’t have one. It’s a smaller town and to get to a library you must drive two towns over. She normally offers him tea and some type of baked goodies. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’s grown to have a slight sweet tooth. Maybe. Really, he could care less about the sweets, he usually chats up the owner and barrows books. Considering he is collecting money from her, he felt he should pay but she always said no. He got the sense it wasn’t out of fear, she liked knowing his thoughts on different books. At first, he didn’t like the idea of discussing them. The enforcer wasn’t sure if he could really talk about different themes, symbols, characters and the like he often heard people talk about when discussing these books. 

La jefa (the boss) as he often greeted her didn’t judge him on his answers or lack of them. He’d talk the best he could about what he read, even if he didn’t understand it all. She listens and sips her tea, then asks him questions to draw more answers out of him. It fustrated him at first. But he grew to enjoy the bi-weekly sit downs with her. 

The chime of the bell goes off as he opens the door. The sun is at Pero’s back as he enters the bookstore. He comes early in the afternoon around two. She’s not at the counter, though the shop is listed as open. Calling out for her, she doesn’t answer, and he sucks his teeth. It isn’t like her at all. There’s no tea out either. There are no books that appear out of place and making his way behind the counter, nothing appears to be wrong with the register.

The enforcer goes into the back of the shop, he only knew where the bathroom was back here. He was looking for anything that resembled an office, as he walked down the hallway, there was a sniffle. As he kept going, they got louder. Taking a breath while he stood in front of a door that was slightly ajar, he tried to prepare himself. Maybe it was a bad day, maybe she got a papercut or was reading a sad book or something. Tovar instantly knew none of those were the case when he opened the door. 

Sitting behind the desk, her shoulders were slumped, and her hands were covering her face. He saw the scabs on the back of her hands, defensive marks. “Jefa dejame ver. (Boss, let me have a look).” Her sniffles stop for a moment as she shakes her head, turning her body away from him in the swivel chair. His eyes widen at the mark on her neck he spies it when she turns, it looks like it could be from a palm. Moving to her side, Pero places a hand on her shoulder, “I need to see cariño (sweetheart) or just give me a name. Who did this to you?” She finally drops her hands, but she turns her face away.

“I don’t want you to see. The envelope is on the desk Pero. Please.”  It is on the table, and he’ll put it in his jacket shortly - it is why he came here in the first place, but he can’t just leave like this. On top of her being one of a small number of people who he wants to be around, it could get around that the protection money the shops pay isn’t worth a damn because you could get beat in your own shop, and nothing will happen to whoever did it.

“Then tell me a name.” It’s sterner this time, but he’s released her shoulder and instead picked up her hand, his thumb tracing the scabs on her knuckles. She’d tried to fight back at least. She’s biting her lips when she finally looks at him, most of the discoloration is on the left side of her face though there’s a cut on her chin and one on her bottom lip. A large bruise is on her chest across her right clavicle, partly covered by her shirt. Pero’s able to keep his face motionless. “Por favor cariño (please sweetheart).” He doesn’t recognize the name she says, but he kisses her forehead and wraps an arm around her. “Gracias (thank you). I’ll be back princesa (princess).” 

Pero puts the envelope in his jacket pocket and heads out of the office. “Close the shop now and have the tea ready when I come back. Between eight and nine tonight.” He’s going to be quick about dropping the money off and he’s texted one of his associates with the name she gave. Within fifteen minutes, Pero has a picture to go with the name and a location. Marcello talks way too much, but he’s the best Tovar knows at tracking people.

Pero finds this man himself and tells Marcello to tell the higher ups that he needs to demonstrate a lesson in messaging with the family. He’ll need the basement and he’ll keep the clean up to a minimum. It’s not that there wouldn’t be blood. There might be too much blood so the powers at be approve the basement use but ask that Marcello and a second enforcer be there so that the man isn’t killed. There’s only murder when necessary and it wasn’t they viewed in this case. Pero sucked his teeth for the second time today but would make sure the man in question lives. Just not with all functioning limbs. 

After the submission of the money and subsequent torture was complete, the man’s body was bandaged by one of their doctors on the payroll and dropped off at his home, during a time they knew his family would be home with the message, “The Valentino family suffers no fools.” Pero carved it into his back to emphasize the point. He was still alive but would not be the same. Not after, as Tovar saw it, he’s violated one of his favorite places. 

La jefa has long closed her shop and made herself dinner. Now that she thought about it, she’s never made Pero any of her food, just cookies, brownies and the like. Since he said he was coming back, she would make extra. The worst that would happen would be that he would say he didn't want any.  It also dawned on her that she has not made a book recommendation today. She should pick one out before he comes, straightening out her mint green dress. Turning off the stove, she went downstairs to look for a book and saw Pero standing at the door ready to knock. It was a quarter after eight, he was glad he’d taken the extra time to shower. He didn’t want to be late, but he didn’t want to be dirty either. 

“Ah! Mi princesa del librios es bonita (My Princess of books is pretty). You have our tea ready tonight?” His question follows the chime of the bell above the door as she unlocks it and lets him in. She then locks it again and nods.

“I have tea and I made some extra for dinner. I didn’t pick out a book for you yet.” She seems a bit brighter than this afternoon but still trying to make sure she was facing him with her right side. Pero takes her left hand and tugs it a little, not hard, just enough so she faces him fully.

“Hermosa (gorgeous) you don’t have a bad side. Don’t worry about the book. I haven’t finished with the other one yet. I want my tea and I want to see what you made for dinner.” The corners of her mouth curve and finally she smiles, squeezing his hand and leading him up the stairs. Pero watches her walk up and into her living area. It’s cozy as it has books scattered about as well. 

“I don’t know if you like stew, but I made that and heated up some rolls. There’s butter too. I have water, apple juice, coke, and some rum.” The last option surprised him as he didn’t picture her drinking at all. Maybe she had a glass or two when she sat up here before bed. She poured herself a glass of water as Pero pointed to her glass and held up an empty bowel on the table. She filled both and they sat down across from each other. “I hope you enjoy Pero.”

“I don’t doubt that I will cariño.” The food went quickly as they ate, and she asked what other kind of foods he liked. Pero felt he might be getting greedy. Perhaps he’s been gluttonous of her attention each time he comes here. She gives it so willingly. 

Tonight’s tea is mint like her dress which makes Tovar chuckle as he takes up half of her loveseat sitting down. She takes up the other and they sip tea, speaking of past books they’ve read and things he may want to read. 

Even if he got an urgent call, he’ll ignore it because he’s having his tea. Pero Tovar doesn’t feel like an enforcer or a conduit for violence. He just has an arm around one of his favorite people as she places her head on his shoulder. The tough pads of his fingers touch the injured side of her face while he tells her that it’s been taken care of. He won’t tell her details. Tovar figures she can put it together. If he can just have moments like these where he’s just a man with someone he cares for, Pero can use that to sleep. He prays she can rest without crying or being scared. 

The loveseat has his feet hanging off outside of the blanket he found on the back of it. So far, he hasn’t heard her sniffle again. Pero carried her to bed after she fell asleep in his arms. The faint scent of mint mingling with the earthy smell of the books lulls him to sleep. He had blood on his hands again today, but it was fine. It was for her sake, and she hasn’t cried again.

It was worth it.

[insaniquariumfish]

Some people have love for humanity, but no compassion for it, no real empathy for human beings that goes beyond the surface level and superficial. Being a misanthropist with compassion is better than being a philanthropist who thinks that there is ultimately nothing fundamentally wrong with the world, who thinks it's okay if all the horrors that humans are subjected to continue to persist, because they think "everything balances out in the end" or because "everything happens for a reason" or some shit. Like I'm sorry, but we definitely tolerate toxic positivity and allow it to masquerade as healthy optimism out of a fear of ever validating anything that seems "too edgy" way, way too much. At some point a desire to only think normal thoughts that aren't cringe turns into intellectual cowardice and moral laziness, and you've definitely reached that point if your attitude towards the abundance of heinous suffering in this world is just, "oh gee well that sure is unfortunate, but you know, ultimately life is beautiful and everything is okay, and none of that stuff really matters in the grand scheme of things, life is still inherently good, etc. etc."

If there is no form of suffering so heinous to you that you would rather vaporize the planet than allow it to continue for one more day, then I'm sorry but you are someone with a hollow and performative affection for your species. Valuing the mere presence of human minds over the actual experiential quality of the lived realities of real humans will always be oonga boonga brain shit to me, I'm sorry. Like your primal drive to support the species' survival is dampening your higher moral functioning. I would rather live in a world where there's just three clones named Sally who are immortal and always happy, than live in a world where millions of people are enduring unspeakable horrors every single day, sorry. "The beauty of life" and "the wonderful tenacity of the human spirit" mean nothing to me when there are people living their entire lives in slavery and little girls are getting gangraped to death. The fact that people regularly take their own lives because their pain is so unbearable that they'd prefer to just cease existing should tell us all we need to know about the value of quantity vs. quality on this issue. Life itself is not inherently good any more than anything else is, and more life does not automatically equal more value and goodness. If you see nothing wrong with throwing new people into this world despite knowing what it could have in store for them, what potential fates they, or their children, could endure, then you only love humanity in the way you love coffee or a good book. You love the idea of humanity. The ideal of humanity. What humanity represents to you. You love humanity as a concept, not as a collection of individual human beings with thoughts and feelings.

[spitdrunken]

Not often embarrasseda bout posting something anymore BUT ITS HAPPENING TODAY! So. Maxime le Mal. Please read the notes because this is weird in a very specific way.

Notes: maxime being a Villain, obsessive behaviour, mind control, insect mentions (cockroaches specifically), body horror (!!!!!), forced bodily transformations (into a cockroach.)

I keep thinking about Maxime transforming you partly into a cockroach, purely because of the effects it has on the mind.

For one reason or another, as it had started as an unintended side-effect of his insectification machines, the ones he has turned are obedient to him more than anything else! It’s funny, really, that the people transformed entirely into insects are more coherent, and adore him in a more overt way, huh? His working theory is that during a partial transformation, people are perhaps still struggling against it mentally. In one form or another. It’s difficult to check, really, since they can’t exactly tell him! They’re all twitchy, hardly capable of functioning, except to follow his commands.

For you, he tries to find a sweet spot in between the two. When something or, in this case, someone, catches Maxime’s eye, he has a tendency to throw himself into it head-first. Never doing anything less than perfect, never accepting less than defeat. So, when you deny his romantic advances so directly… Not only does it leave a dent in his pride, it leaves him with a bit of a grudge, as well. If there anything he doesn’t handle well, it’s grudges. Now that he’s got a handheld-sized way of turning anyone into insects, it’d be silly of him not to use it!

(And if you are hoping for Valentina to interfere, you are fresh out of luck. The both of them have come to an agreement long ago that interests in other people are fine, as long as they are discussed. To add to that, it’d be hard for her to be a ‘femme fatale’ if she couldn’t seduce anyone, right? They’ve been together long enough to know that they will always return to each other’s side. So, no, Valentina will not get jealous and try to interfere in… Whatever her boyfriend has going on with you. She’d be more likely to watch, egging him on in amusement and turning away once she’s lost interest.)

“It’s just a pair of antennae sprouting from your head! That’s not so bad, is it, huh? Look at you! They look so cute on you! Little things.” Maxime tells you, patting your head, tone and expression both dripping with condescension. Whereas a minute ago you would have ran for the hills at this, your mind has become sluggish and, without even fully realising what he’s saying, you find yourself nodding along to his words. He smells good, familiar. You would be able to pick him out of a crowd with ease. Unbeknownst to you, your pupils are blown wide now, too. Anyone who say them would think you were high out of your mind. You shudder as he pinches and rubs one of your newly-sprouted appendages in between fingers. The antennae are incredibly sensitive. The sensation can only be compared to someone running their hands up over the bare skin of your sides, and you tense up, eyelids fluttering. It doesn’t exactly feel good, but it doesn’t feel… Bad, either. A noise leaves your throat, one you can only describe as a chirp, and weren’t capable of making before. All of a sudden, revulsion hits you like a tidal wave. It must show on your face, because Maxime squeezes down, and it hurts. “Non, non! None of that! Just look at me. Or do you want to grow another pair of arms also? …No, I didn’t think so.”

When you’re not actively fighting it, it’s so easy to slip into your new base instincts, which consist of the primary mission of obeying Maxime le Mal. He’s so nice to you, too! As long as you listen, that is!